#but i wonder where all the popularity came from bcs idk i don’t think the odyssey was THAT much more popular | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

altruistic-meme · 8 months ago

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More thoughts bc i don’t have any self-control and the thoughts came back <3

OH MY GOD HOW DID I FORGET THE FIRST TIME!!! Charlie was literally invited to Harry’s party in the comics!!! And not by Nick–Nick asks him if he had been invited and Charlie says yes. More popular boy Charlie evidence. Harry doesn’t even seem to really like Charlie, but ofc he would want to invite the popular kid ig??? Idk. Maybe the whole school was invited, but in that case then Nick wouldn’t need to ask ya know???

BEN!!! I forgot about him too afkhsfkhdf he is another thing that I actually loved so much about the show. After the run-in at Harry’s party, we never actually see Ben again in the comics, and I kinda wish we had!! Maybe that’s influenced cus I watched the show first, but i love how him continuing to push and mess with Charlie continued to affect Charlie. I feel like it was maybe more needed in the show? Then in the comics? But I do wish we saw him ever again after the party in the comics. Especially with the dynamic that he and Charlie had in the comics! Where Charlie was already kinda just over him but still went to meet up with him anyway. The scene where Ben confronts Charlie about breaking things off was so so good but it felt almost incomplete in some way???? Like i said, i kind of wish we had seen him again in the comics.

I also didn’t mention that i do love all of the events in the show! Sports day and Prom specifically were so good and i feel like they added more visual fun and helped set up the season finales really well.

Charlie’s self-esteem may be shit but my boy has got SOME NERVES OF STEEL. This was something I knew from just the show but the comics really prove it further. Like,,,, “would you kiss me?” I COULD N E V E R HAVE THE CONFIDENCE TO ASK THAT!!!! No wonder Nick says he made him more brave ;;;

The scene where Nick suggests Charlie writes out what he wants to say to his parents to talk about his ed??? I cry literally every time. This moment means so fucking much to me. I struggle a lot to actually talk about things, and this scene broke me because it’s so real. I’ve sent my mom emails bc i just could not get the words out trying to talk in person.

And when Charlie is giving his half of what happened over the months in book 4, he mentions having another sh relapse in January and that also just. Ugh. It’s so good. Not that he had the relapse ofc, but that representation of how his recovery is not linear and he’s not fixed and perfect now. During Nick’s explanation on NYE, he says that Charlie hadn’t sh’d since October–and then we learn he does half a month after Nick writes that. It’s such a hard thing and he’s working hard to get through it but shit happens.

OUGH i need to reread book 5 again bc i didn’t when i reread the others (it got late and i had work in the morning rip) but i also love how Charlie’s self-image issues grew and how he grew through them. It’s so interesting to me cus we’d seen Charlie in t-shirts before but in book 5 he just can’t anymore for a while. And then he does at the fete!! I was so proud of him!!!

Speaking of,,,, i’m so curious about where they are in the little s3 announcement ??? cus it says that it’s the fete like they have towards the end of book 5–plus Kit says things are getting more steamy which is ALSO something that doesn’t happen until book 5????? So i wonder what all is going on there??? Did they change things and s3 covers both books 4 AND 5??? Cus that seems like a lot to fit in to one 8 episode season (i am assuming it’ll be 8ep like s1+s2) and i’m just a little concerned ig?

Ok once again, thats it for now <3 trust that i will think of some more to add later

Okay i was originally going to try to make a nice and neat little post about heartstopper and some of my thoughts, as well as a separate post about what i like about the comics vs. the tv show.

Uh. So. I can’t actually corral my thoughts to be coherent enough for that, so here are some various assorted thoughts about it all instead <3 put under a cut bc it is long and rambley and a mess

[spoiler warning for the comics if you haven't read them]

Idk what it is, but I love comic Charlie a LOT. Like. A LOT a lot. There is just something about his character in the comics, his banter, the way he behaves that I love so much more in the comics than the show. I feel almost like the characters aren’t quite the same person, though I do love them both. I just connected so much more with comic Charlie.

Semi-related but I also feel like we get a much more clear picture of his OCD and the attached anxieties in the comics.

HMMM okay or maybe not. Idk. I think maybe we can see more of Charlie’s OCD in the show through his desire to make everything easy and perfect for Nick, even when it hurts him too.

He’s popular in the comics!!! It’s mentioned multiple times by other characters that Charlie is popular at school!!! And I think that’s actually a really interesting look at his character. He was bullied for most of y9 and yet the rugby lads think he’s a popular kid in y10. Despite this, we don’t actually see Charlie interacting with basically anyone but the other main characters, and I think that kind of reflects how Charlie views himself. On the way back from Paris, he asks Nick “does this mean I’m a cool kid now?” he doesn’t think people see him as cool but like I said, other characters have said he’s popular. They must have gotten that idea from SOMEWHERE right? But Charlie’s own poor self-esteem means he still doesn’t actually believe he’s cool or that people like him. I don’t know if there was a point to this rant but. Charlie is a popular boy.

I WANT TO KNOW MORE ABOUT THE KIDS WHO STOPPED THE BULLYING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Also, in the comics Charlie really is a nerd in a way he isn’t in the show. He helps Nick with his math and yells at him for distracting him from his homework. I get why this change happened in the show–it gives us a better idea of the strained relationship that Charlie has with his mom while also showing us that his dad tries to support him but often fails–but I really like it in the comics because Nick calls him a nerd but it’s less obvious in the show how nerdy he really is.

That said obviously I also ADORE getting to explore the other characters and their lives and everything in the show. I love getting to see more of them. (But I also love how we DON’T always get all the information in the comics, but that’s just because I love when there are background stories happening that we don’t see through the main storyline. This event/love is not unique to Heartstopper)

I love Imogen!!! I really like that it’s showing her as someone who is sort trying to become friends with the group and that isn’t always a fast or easy process. She goes to the sleepover with them and she hangs out with them in Paris, but she’s doesn’t leave Prom with them or anything. Also, I love the possibility that she is discovering that she’s queer too!! And that her halfway joining of their friend group leads to her discovering herself bc i feel like that’s so true to real life.

I am so curious about the Isaac vs. Aled thing and I wonder if Aled will appear in one of the later seasons, or if he is just not in the show at all. And Isaac! I assume he’s in some extra content I haven’t seen? Don’t get me wrong ofc, I love Isaac and his storyline is SO SO IMPORTANT as someone who is asexual myself. I am so glad that there is the representation of someone discovering that they’re aroace. I do assume that’s part of the reason for him being the 4th friend as opposed to Aled? Idk.

I’M SO SAD ABOUT OLIVER BEING COMPLETELY OMITTED FROM THE SHOW!!! I assume there is an interview or something where Alice Oseman explains why Oliver wasn’t in the show, but I haven’t seen it and rn I will simply cry about it. I love him and I wish he had been included.

I am also SO CURIOUS how the rest of the show will look!! I know that I read somewhere that s3 should be the contents of book 4, and that s4/s5 if they get them would be books 5/6 respectively. And I’m so intrigued. Because book 4 is the heaviest of them all so far, and I wonder how it will be translated to the screen. Especially the Sept-Dec timeskip! Will we see that time, especially considering the other character’s storylines??? This wasn’t an issue in the comics since they focus solely on Nick/Charlie, but with all of the other characters it would be more difficult to just skip that whole time. Will it just be a summary of events like in the comics, with flashes to what has happened? Or will we get a more explicit idea of everything?? (probably not including Charlie’s sh relapses or the night in October, but maybe the This Winter content???) i am SO excited for October though so all my questions can be answered :’)

OH something that was super interesting to me was a very small change in dialogue during the scene where Charlie first tells Nick about his sh. In the show, when Nick asks if he still does it Charlie just says “No.” but in the comics he says “No! I mean- hardly ever” and it’s such a small change but it speaks volumes too in the difference between the comic and the show. I’m not really sure what it’s saying though. Was show Charlie just more consistently in a better place where he feels like it’s stopped and won’t happen again? Was comic Charlie just more honest in this moment in acknowledging that it has still happened since? I’m not sure!!! But i’ve spent WAYYY too much time thinking about this one tiny change in dialogue!!!

Another thing is like, I really liked how the comics handled Nick’s dad. Them not meeting in Paris and then him missing Nick’s birthday. It really hits hard exactly how negligent he is, and it gives space for Charlie to be there for Nick when he’s upset. I do like how it went in the show as well, because it does still get everything across beautifully, but idk. I think mostly I’m just remembering the shot of Nick opening the door to greet Charlie on his birthday looking heartbroken and upset about his dad canceling and how hard that hit when i first read it. (keep in mind that i watched the show before reading the comics, so i was surprised at first to learn that they didn’t meet up in Paris! Let alone that he missed Nick’s birthday TOO!!)

Okay I think that’s it for right now. I have largely been spinning comic Charlie in the microwave in my mind bc OUGH i relate to him too much. I will probably come back at some point with more thoughts, but until then. Hope you enjoyed my brief insanity.

#heartstopper #shh ac

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kinktae · 4 years ago

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beyond the story: bitchin’

Hi friends! I hope you are all staying safe and healthy during these tough times! I really wanted to put something out there as a thank you to just how much support Bitchin’ got. You guys really are incredible. So, although this story has come to an end, I wanted to properly close the Bitchin’ chapter by giving you all a behind the scenes look at Bitchin’ and everything that went into writing it. This includes hidden easter eggs, backstories, alternative plot-lines, and a short drabble of the Bitchin’ cast 10 years after the story’s end.

Without further ado, please enjoy and thank you again for all your love. You have all of mine.

CHAPTER ONE – PARTNERS

Ah, yes, the start of this whole wild ride. I’ve always loved the whole nerd/popular person trope in fanfics, so it was only a matter of time before I tried my hand at it too. One thing I was adamant about was not making this a “popular person turns nerd hot/confident/better” fic as its kind of one of my least favorite cliches. With that in mind, and knowing that I was going to allude to TATBILB’s contract, I decided that I wanted Y/N to gain as much from the deal as Jungkook did. No blackmail, no just agreeing for the hell of it – Y/N was going to further herself and her dreams given the opportunity.

The beginning of the chapter is where the two are most separated and dissimilar throughout the whole story. It wasn’t that they were fundamentally different, it was that they approached life differently. Y/N was frustrated at how superficial Jungkook seemed, because she believes there is much more to life than just kicking your feet up and cracking jokes.

On the other hand, Jungkook didn’t understand why Y/N was so tense and on guard. To him, life was meant to enjoy and not take so seriously. Which makes sense, given that he grew up with minimal rules and minimal worries (bare minimum partners wassup !)

“So, do we have a deal? Partners?” There was mischievous timber to his words, the kind that made you feel as if this would all later come back to bite you in the ass.

Pushing that pestering thought away, you took his hand into yours, holding his eyes as you gave it a firm shake.

“Partners.”

God, this bit. I knew from the minute I wrote it that I was writing the ending of bitchin’ along with it. I knew this was exactly how I was going to end this story, bc the word partners has multiple means right? In chapter 1, this meant business partners, but in the final chapter… it means life partners. Idk, I’m just still really happy with this writing decision :D

CHAPTER TWO – THE CONTRACT

Dearest Yara. We meet her in chapter two don’t we? Yara is completely based off of my irl best friend Yara who is a writer and who helped me A LOT with this story. She was my biggest supporter throughout figuring out this crazy plot. It was initially only about seven parts, but with her help I managed to bump it up to 10! Everybody say thank you Yaraaaa.

You were angry, that much was evident to her. Yara was sat in your shared dorm’s living room, a thick blanket engulfing her small frame. You briefly glanced towards the TV, it was tuned into MTV, the familiar music video of Every Breath You Take by The Police playing, before directing your glare back onto the copper-haired girl.

The song reference is a direct allusion to writer Yara’s fic, which is one of my favorite fics by her. She was actively writing it around the start of our friendship so it only felt right to pay respects to her. The introduction of her character felt necessary imo bc I wanted to make sure Y/N had a life outside Jungkook. Plus, I got to use the scenes between the two girls as a way to reference the music and culture scene. Yara is especially a fan of the powerful women in the music industry at the time, i.e., Madonna, Annie Lennox, Cyndi Laupner, etc.) Yara is a raging feminist and believer in sexual freedom and libery for women, we do in fact have to stan.

“How old do you think your sister is?”

“Hey, don’t sass me. For your information, Lyanna still has all her Care Bear tapes. She threw a hissy fit when my mom tried to give them away last Christmas.” Yara recalled.

Lyanna is one of writer Yara’s past pseudonyms. She always used to joke about how whenever she read it, it was confusing because there was Y/N, Yara and Lyanna, which were technically all her lolol.

FUNNY STORY ABOUT THE CONTRACT I INSERTED INTO THIS PICTURE… Twitter found it and made it into somewhat of a meme because no one knew it came from a fic rip. I was actually rly embarrassed and even wrote some posts about how much twitter scared me on my blog LMAO. but THEN weirdly enough, I actually stumbled upon a small community on twitter who actually found my fic and would TWEET ABOUT IT!!! LIKE REACTIONS TO EACH UPDATE!!! I wish I could go back in time and remember how giddy I was the first time I found a tweet about my fic. The fanfic community on twitter gave me a new love for the site (which I had previously had removed myself from because of its toxicity) and I have met so many wonderful people because of it. People even made themselves a little twitter group chat to talk about my fics, and now we are all friends! I miss posting a chapter of bitchin’ and refreshing my twitter feed as all my mutuals would post memes and live tweet their reactions. God that made me so fucking happy.

CHAPTER THREE – THE ROLLERSKATING DATE

I love the bickering in this chapter, because unlike the bickering in the first chapter, it’s actually less hostile and more playful. Y/N is slowly letting her guard down to the very persistently charming Jungkook.

“Woah. Family of six, huh? So you have siblings then.” He noted.

“Yep. Three.”

“Tell me about them.”

Looking up from where you were slipping on your second skate, you met Jungkook’s eyes, surprised to see genuine interest in them.

I actually originally had Y/N brush him off here. I was going to wait until the drunk party scene for Y/N to open up about her family and relationship with her sisters. But then I kind of thought to myself… Why? Y/N made peace with it and doesn’t hold onto those insecurities anymore. And objectively, Jungkook hasn’t proven himself to be a bad person so… I let Y/N open herself up to him.

“Then there’s the twins, Rosa and Lia.”

“Hold on. Twins? Wait… did they go to our high school?” Jungkook asked, his interest in this conversation doubled.

“Yep. They were two grades above us.” You confirmed.

“Oh shit, yeah, I remember your sisters, they were mad hot.” Jungkook let out a low whistle, before stiffening, flashing you an apologetic look. “Uh, in a totally non-meathead way.”

You offered the scared-looking boy a small smile, shaking your head.

Some of y’all notice but, Rosa and Lia are a blatant homage to my name: Roselia. ACTUALLY some form of my name can be found in every one of the rewind series fics, including upcoming ones. I’ll give a cookie to whoever can find every single mention hehe.

“I told you it was dumb.” You laughed nervously.

It wasn’t that you cared much about what Jungkook thought but you had a feeling a guy like him, who was popular and carefree, wouldn’t be able to sympathize in the way you would like him to.

“No, I’m just… surprised, that’s all.”

Jungkook certainly was surprised. You had built up quite the impression on him from the very moment you two met. It was hard to imagine that the girl who was so unapologetically herself was ever unsure or insecure.

Somehow, the idea tugged at his heart, as if he understood you more if only just a little.

From the get go, Jungkook was extremely drawn to just how confident and secure Y/N was in herself. I knew I wanted Y/N to be unapologetically sure of herself and in her abilities. Something I didn’t want, however, was for frat boy!jungkook’s only personality traits to be liking sex and being a cocky bastard (although I am a big consumer of that trope heh). Jungkook is actually canonly incredibly insecure. He lacks a real sense of self, which is why he is so desperate for Kiri back. His relationship with Kiri at that time was a big part of what he thought was himself. He has somewhat of low self esteem tbh which is why he’ll go back to a woman who treated him unfairly. That’s why he comes off the way he does in the first chapter and why Y/N thinks he has a big ego... he’s overcompensating. He finds it so endlessly fascinating that Y/N, in all her confident glory, was actually once super insecure. He admires her all the more once she opens up about her past.

“Oh, Rosa is an intern for our hometown’s newspaper but between you and me those assholes don’t even let her write. She does coffee and burger runs for men in charge. And Lia sells ice cream at the mall.”

“What about your brother?” Jungkook asked.

“He’s training to be a cop just like my dad.”

“And your mom?”

“She works at a convenience store.”

All their careers resemble people in the latest Stranger Things season (Nancy, Steve, Hopper, and Joyce). Fun Cameo there.

“What’s wrong?” You wondered, following his eyes.

“October 16th, 1985. 6:48PM.”

“Yes. That’s today’s date and time. What about it?” You pressed, growing confused.

“Remember it.” He warned.

“Why?”

“It’s when I fell in love with you.”

This iconic line I actually got from the real Jeon Jungkook himself. While Jungkook wasn’t actually in love with Y/N here, it certainly was a cute way for him to express his admiration for her.

OH HERE’S A FUN FACT: the hickey scene at the end of this chapter where JK and Y/N kiss for the first time was actually supposed to be Yara giving Y/N the hickey like the best friend she is. Ultimately I went with JK giving it for... smut purposes... ≖‿≖

CHAPTER FOUR – THE HALLOWEEN PARTY

The decision for Y/N to be Freddie Krueger came from me planning to be him for Halloween. And I was! JK as Glen Lantz just followed naturally. I’ve seen some great edits of him as the character. Truly chef’s kiss.

I really liked that Jungkook came over to the girl’s dorm to get ready. I didn’t want a scene where Y/N was thrown into a situation she was uncomfortable with which is how much Nerd At A Party Scene go so made sure Jungkook stayed by her side throughout the part, going out of his way to introducing her to the people he cared about.

Tae’s character came in when I realized I needed a way to actually put Y/N’s event in motion. He was the missing link and BOY did you guys eat his character right up huh. Love that for me.

Another thing, the confrontation with Kiri was so hard to write guys, I reeaaaally struggle with girl conflict. GIRLS SHOULD SUPPORT GIRLS. However, not everyone gets along in real life so I went with Kiri being more along the lines of petty rather than outwardly a cunt to Y/N. Realistically, Kiri is popular and well liked among the greek life so being unkind to someone she hardly knows wouldn’t make sense. There’s definitely tension between these two but I tried my best to steer away from the typical cat fight/revenge porn/public humiliation trope most movies seem to follow.

CHAPTER FIVE – THE FIRST TIME

Introduction to Erik!!!! It was really important to me that Y/N had a life before Jungkook. That's why I wrote in Y/N having a fiancé. She’s not opposed to love, she just has reshifted her focus. She knows what she wants and is choosing to focus on that, which why when she realizes she’s falling for Kookie she’s so hesitant to admit it because she’s fallen down that road before. Even though Jungkook treats her with respect and acknowledges the parts of her she’s most proud of, she just isn’t willing to possibly give up her passions for love. Which is why she doesn’t immediately confess to him, even once she’s sure she loves him.

“I’m serious, nerd. You’re like… um… the sun!” Jungkook marveled, eyes growing full as the realization dawned on him.

“The sun?” You laughed.

“Yeah, like… you’re this bright, beautiful thing that seems like it’s here in front of me but is really light-years away.”

Jungkook was drunk, and although you were sure he was making more sense in his head, you couldn’t help but feel your face grow hot, unsure of how to react to his drunk analogy.

“You’re the sun, Y/N. You make the world turn for you. Never orbit for anyone else.”

And suddenly, you were kissing him, for no other reason other than you wanted to and that it felt like the right thing to do.

No real commentary here. Just love this bit. It’s probably my favorite interaction between them two ‧⁺◟( ᵒ̴̶̷̥́ ·̫ ᵒ̴̶̷̣̥̀ )

“Also… She’s, uh, currently dating Eunwoo.” You told Yara.

Your best friend blinked, silence falling over her.

“Yara?”

“Good for her.” She perked up almost forcibly. “Let her put up with his annoying ass.”

Yara could see the way your expression had turned dubious as if you didn’t believe her nonchalant act.

Yara turned up her nose defensively, “What?”

Ugh yes, some character development from Yara.... the flavor ! Yara (much like Y/N and JK) also struggles with love. She has a real fear of commitment and if far more comfortable with casual sex than relationships. She did develop actual feelings for Eunwoo, she just wasn’t ready for that kind of commitment so she cut him off. Fleed the scene if you will. Typical gemini smh my head.

"I don’t think the contract mentioned orgasms.” Jungkook smirked as you released his thumb.

“I say we let it slide.” You shrugged, leaning into him casually.

“You think?”

“Totally. Think of it as… a bonding activity.” You joked, resting your chin on his shoulder, peering up through your lashes.

“Damn, we’re really committed to this fake dating thing, huh.”

You laughed in the way that you hated, but Jungkook loved; it was loud and abrupt, but it genuine, and it was you.

“What can I say, I’m a method actor.” You sighed dramatically, causing Jungkook to grin before pressing a kiss to your nose, simply because he liked the way it always seemed to make you smile.

GOD THEY’RE SO WHIPPED FOR EACH OTHER ITS DISGUSTING!!!!!! I’m really happy I decided not to make sleeping together a big deal and I got a lot of feedback from you guys agreeing! I had a lot of fun with these two’s sex scenes knowing they could do it whenever they wanted.

CHAPTER SIX – THE STEM EVENT

I started the scene with smut BUT I wanted to point out that much of their time spent together is at Y/N dorm, Jungkook either napping, hanging out or doing work as Y/N would study like she always did. I liked the idea that Jungkook would get bored and would want attention from Y/N because she was so focused. Idk, I just wanted to write a love story about two people spending time together and figuring out how they fit in each other’s lives as opposed to some dramatic I mEeT HiM aNd mY LiFe bEcAmE cRaZy. There’s nothing wrong with that plot line, I just didn’t want that for these two dorks. I wanted Y/N to interact with JK’s scene and crowd but not give up her own which is why most days JK and her just lounged around in her dorm studying.

Also, I don’t know how the teacher/student roleplay made it into the smut, it just did, no further questions (ʃ⌣́_⌣́ƪ).

Then the event scene.

“You’re whipped, dude! Seriously.”

Jungkook felt his face go red, “Shut up, no, I’m not.”

“Hey, I’m not judging. I get it. That’s your girl.” Taehyung shrugged. Jungkook placed a hand on the fold up table in front of him, staring down at the information pamphlet you had worked so hard on.

“She’s just… so fucking driven and passionate about everything she does. Sometimes I look at her, and I’m just like… holy shit, what am I doing with a girl like her? I feel like she’s totally out of my league and being with me is holding her back but— I dunno, man. I just… really like her.” Jungkook revealed, voice growing small.

An unexpected wave of tenderness fell over the two boys, Taehyung throwing an arm over his little brother’s shoulder.

“I’m happy for you, bro.”

Jungkook didn’t know it just yet but dude was talking from the heart and, is in fact, totally whipped :’c

I loved the confrontation scene between the boys and Eunwoo because the boys standing up for Yara really did make everyone feel like a friend group, not just some character who happen to exist at the same time. It wasn’t just Y/N and Yara and one side and the boys on the other. They would all become friends, which is ideal to me. A boyfriend who likes your best friend and considers her a friend so you can all hang out??? Yes please.

Initially, irl Yara and I had noooo clue if Yara would end up with Eunwoo or not. That was actually the original goal actually. But after this chapter four, you guys made it ABUNDANTLY clear that you guys wanted to see Taeyara, despite the two never even meeting! Honestly, it wasn’t until this chapter was written that we decided for sure that Eunwoo was out of the picture for Yara. Part of me really wanted to keep Yara single, but irl Yara insisted on dick and frankly, she’s right. Bitchin’ Yara deserved a shot at love. She definitely has her own story outside of Bitchin’ and will experience a lot of growth in the future.

“God, I know. I do not miss that temper of his.” She chuckled, her words piquing your interest.

“Temper?”

“Oh, yeah. Have you seriously not experienced it yet? He’s got some gnarly anger issues. Not to mention all the lying…” Kiri paused suddenly, straightening up as she flashed you an apologetic look. “Yikes, I’m sorry. I totally should not be telling you this. I’m not trying to be that gross girl that shit talks her ex to his current girlfriend.”

Miss Kiri, Miss Kiri. She really acted up this chapter didn’t she. There was a lot of discussion about whether or not those things she said about Jungkook were true. Which was exactly what I wanted hehe. We come to find out that Kiri had definitely stretched the truth. She really is good at manipulation and understanding how people think and it’s why she is in the role that she is in. Messy queen.

CHAPTER SEVEN – THE ROOFTOP DATE

This entire chapter was inspired by High School Musical with Troy and Gabriella’s rooftop garden scenes. This was my shortest chapter and honestly, probably not my strongest. I definitely went into writing this with zero concept of what I actually wanted to happen. Usually when I write my chapters I have a 4k long outline of it beforehand that I go off of. Not this one though. I really just winged it and I tried my best to write a chapter that really showed off (dialogue wise) just how this couple bounces off each other. I do really like some of the banter they have in this chapter.

You had taken note a little wooden popsicle stick poking up from the soil of the yellow flowers. Acacias, they were marked. Pulling your knees up to your chest, you considered his words.

Yellow acacias stands the value of true friendship and can indicate a secret love! I thought that was very appropriate given these dummies' relationship.

“So, you probably know why I brought you here.”

You nodded.

“You’re proposing, right?”

“Yeah, I– oh, shut up.” He laughed, the serious mood shattering as you joined him.

Even though I knew they were going to have a semi serious talk, what with Y/N asking about what Kiri had told her, these two dufuses realistically are just too comfortable with each other to stay serious for too long.

“Hey, I said that out of frustration, I didn’t really mean it. I’m sure she’ll come crawling back soon.” You attempted to comfort him, hoping to sound sincere.

“Even if that’s true, I’m not entirely sure I want that anymore.”

“What?” You blinked. Jungkook shrugged.

“What about us?” He met your eyes, causing your breath to hitch.

“What about us?”

Jungkook stared at you for a moment, noting the way the timber in your voice had become higher pitched as if panicked.

MORE FUN FACTS LMFAO: I typically do this thing with unplanned chapters where I just go for it and write and usually it works out. But when I wrote this down I remember stopping and being like ??? WHY DID I JUST WRITE THAT ??? I don’t like deleting my writing so I had a serious think to myself about whether this was going to be the moment Jungkook confessed or not.

Canonly, I decided that Jungkook did in fact mean ‘us’ in a romantic sense, but because of the way you perceivably panicked at that possible meaning, he decided against taking the conversation in that direction, instead speaking about ‘us’ in a platonic sense. Poor kookie :(

“Stop. Listen to me, Jungkook, you’re a fucking great guy, okay? You’re charismatic and funny and care about your friends… sure, you almost ruined my event, but it was mostly to defend my best friend when Eunwoo got too pushy, right? You’re a good guy, meathead. I know I joke about your ego, but I really believe you’re capable of more than you think you are. Seriously, Kiri is so lucky to be the object of your affection.”

Jungkook watched the way the sun’s orange light kissed your face, a bittersweet feeling growing in his chest as he contemplated the object of his affection. Just a couple of months ago, he would have had no doubt about who held his heart, but as you held his stare, he found himself unsure and yet, entirely sure all the same.

“Jungkook? You okay?” You frowned, catching in the sadness in his eyes.

“Hm? Yeah, yeah. I just… realized something.”

“Oh? What’s that?”

“…It doesn’t matter.” He smiled, the gesture hardly reaching his eyes.

It’s in this moment that Jungkook decides that there is no way you hold the same affection towards him that he does to you. He mistakes your words of comfort as you pushing him away. You are so kind and encouraging and Jungkook loves you so much that hearing you insist about him ending back up with Kiri hurts him so bad.

But you are still unsure about your feelings and genuinely believe that's still what Jungkook wants. You’re just being a supportive friend!! :( It isn’t until the end of this chapter when Y/N has her talk with Yara that she realizes, oh man, she’s in deep.

CHAPTER EIGHT – THE MISTAKE

BLAH. This chapter is so BLAH, you know? Having to write this chapter was SO HARD. I texted irl Yara complaining about how much I hated having to put my characters through this and that I wanted to just end the story on chapter 7 and keep them happy forever. BUT ALAS! I had planned for this to happen from the start.

You tasted like the mint of your favorite brand of toothpaste. He imagined if he had caught you any later then the mint would have been accompanied by the taste of coffee, knowing the way you rarely started a day without a cup.

God, he had missed the taste of you.

What you guys didn’t see is Jungkook spending the night with Kiri, and immediately kicking her out, freaking out as the weight of guilt washed over him. He knew he had done nothing wrong, that you weren’t his real girlfriend, and that getting back together with Kiri was exactly what he had signed up for. It was what he should’ve wanted. But it wasn't… because you were what he wanted. And that was exactly what he was going to tell you as he marched over to your apartment.

But he panicked. His mind already decided that your answer to him would be no– that you didn’t feel the same. So he kissed you. He had you in the only way he was allowed to. He was selfish and impulsive and so incredibly scared that he ended up hurting the person he loved the most.

Initially though, I had Jungkook get back together with Kiri, not that he slept with her right before sleeping with Y/N. But I decided TEEHEE let me just make everything erupt into flames. However, I didn’t realize just how angry with Jungkook you guys would get. I remember thinking DAMMIT WAS THAT TOO SCANDALOUS?? I knew I was going to have to work hard for Jungkook to redeem himself to my readers.

“She wants to get back together.” Jungkook swallowed dryly, eyes wavering between yours as if to gauge your reaction.

“…Oh.”

You shook your head.

“I mean, wow! That’s… That’s great!” You smiled, something tearing apart inside you as the words left your lips.

“Y/N–”

“Seriously! This means it worked, right? This is exactly what you wanted to happen.” You enthused, turning your head so that he couldn’t see the way your eyes had welled up.

Jungkook’s heart was pounding in his ears, fighting the urge to wrap his arms around you.

“Yeah… yeah, no, you’re right. We did it.” He replied monotonously.

GOD THIS PART IS SO UNBELIEVABLY FRUSTRATING! JUST ADMIT YOU LOVE EACH OTHER YOU MORONS! This entire situation is so convoluted because there's so much information missing and not being expressed, I seriously want to ring my own neck rereading this bit.

“Are you mad?” He called out cautiously, a heavy feeling falling onto his chest.

“Why would I be mad?” You quipped back sharply, causing Jungkook to flinch. He shifted in his seat uncomfortably.

“I just thought… I mean we’ve been fooling around a lot lately, so I didn’t know if—”

“If what? I had feelings for you?” You scoffed. “Please, as if I’d ever fall for you.”

And there it was— everything Jungkook already knew but had been so afraid to hear. Of course, you didn’t feel for him what he felt for you. How could he have expected anything different?

IDIOTS!!! THEY'RE BOTH IDIOTS!!! I don't know how y'all put up with this for so long. Forgive me.

CHAPTER NINE – THE BREAK

Okay I actually love this chapter. And for many reasons. Let me break down the three scenes for you guys.

Scene one: Kiri confrontation

Kiri is definitely an opposing antagonist. She is constantly working against Y/N because of their interests directly conflicting. BUT. I would argue that the biggest antagonist to this story is the inner ones – Y/N and Jungkook's lack of ability to admit their feelings constantly holding them both back from their happy ending. That being said, a confrontation scene between Y/N and Kiri was MUCH needed. While I suppose I can understand why Kiri doesn't like Y/N, that doesn't change the fact that she has been disrespectful and catty. So miss Y/N had to put Miss Kiri in her place (•̀ᴗ•́)

Scene two: Yara and Tae at the library

Fanservice. That is all. LMFAOOO y'all reallllyyy wanted it to happen and who am I to deny my people what they want. It was really fun getting to explore my side characters and develop them through interactions outside the two main characters. IRL Yara also mentioned giving bitchin’ Yara and Tae their own chapter as a joke and I was like LOL BET. I fully was going to but then I got the idea for the next scene and was like ahh ok maybe not the whole chapter.

Scene three: Meeting with Erik

So. This was a SUPER last minute decision. Like, it wasn’t until I was writing this chapter that I planned on Erik making an appearance. I saw a tweet with someone saying their bitchin theories and they mentioned Erik appearing out of nowhere and I was like,,, HOLD ON!!!! That could be kind of spicy ≖‿≖

I knew for a fact JK was NOT going to be forgiven in this chapter; I needed a way to lay the situation out between the two dorks without trying to seem like I was trying to sway my audience in a way that didn't make sense to the story. Y/N was rightfully angry. But she wasn't only angry about the timing of the sex. She was angry that Jungkook went back to Kiri at all and there was no way she was going to admit that. So who better to lay it all out than calculated, unbiased third party Erik. He deserved some character development after all.

I also liked the idea that Y/N had, in theory, “romantic options.” Losing Jungkook didn’t mean the end of her life. Having my female lead stand on her own was very important to me.

CHAPTER TEN – THE END

RIGHT OF THE BAT I needed Jungkook to suffer. So that whole scene where he tries to interact with his old group only for his presence to make everything awkward MMMM yes, sweet revenge on my part.

You were surprised. His hair was no longer shaggy and long like you remembered it. Instead, it had been freshly cut, looking healthy and neatly styled for the first time since you met Jungkook.

THE WAY SO MANY PEOPLE COMMENTED ON THIS LINE “but Y/N liked it long?!?” IS SO FUNNNYyyyy. So let me clarify a thing. Jungkook had always wanted to cut his hair right. The only reason he didn’t was because Y/N told him not to. With Y/N no longer in the picture to convince him out of it, he cut his hair. That’s really all there is to it skfjsjf.

You know, I had written this part around the time I had just finished up the third ch believe it or not. And it was COMPLETELY different. I had it planned that Yara and Y/N ignored him throughout class and Yara had gone back after the bell rang to go verbally assault JK. And as the two hashed it out, only then was that when Jungkook would realize that he liked Y/N after Yara literally spelled it out for him.

“You like her, dumbass!” Was what I had written Yara saying. I really had written him in denial for ten chapters, I was a whole sociopath (╥﹏╥). But ultimately, I decided that Jungkook came to that conclusion on his own and the decision to apologize to Y/N would have been made over winter break.

“You said Kiri came over asking for you back, yet you still came over and slept with me the next day. Even though the two of you had sex the night before. Do you understand how that makes me feel?”

“I’m—”

“Like garbage!" You emphasized, the white paint of the door somehow irritating you further. "I felt like I was something you threw away and picked back up whenever you felt like getting your dick wet.”

Your chest was rising and falling rapidly, and you tried your hardest to not let your emotions get the best of you.

“Not to mention to everyone else, it looks like you cheated on me. Which makes me look like a fucking idiot." You scoffed.

Jungkook said nothing in reply, which somehow made it easier to say all you should have said that day in your room.

“It just sucks to realize that someone you once cared about sees you as nothing more than a toy. It fucking sucks.”

Man :( writing this hurt my heart. I really, really, love bitchin!y/n and writing her hurting freaking stinks. But she had to speak her mind. She deserves the chance to get everything off her chest with the way Jungkook hurt her.

Your heart and mind were in constant paradox, torn between wanting him back and wanting him to know just how much he had hurt you. Your mind ultimately won the battle, of course, but as Jungkook stood just a few inches of drywood apart pouring his heart out, it was hard to say which major organ was responsible for your next words.

The creak of the door being pushed open sent Jungkook's eyes wide, revealing your hesitant form. You had your arms crossed over your chest as if to guard the contents inside of it.

You looked like an angel underneath the bathroom's blue fluorescent lights, beautiful and lovely, a stark contrast from your next crushing sentence.

“I slept with Erik.”

Hehe. Ofc my girl Y/N had to have a rebound!!! She knows that life goes on. However, as I wrote in, she definitely regretted it. It was kind of the same situation that Jungkook was in where he pursued something just because it was familiar and a distraction and not because he really wanted it. Both Y/N and Jungkook are flawed characters but that’s okay! If anything, Y/N’s mistake of sleeping with Erik is what allows her to forgive Jungkook. Knowing first hand how complicated their entire relationship really was.

“I don’t need you… but I don’t think I want a life without you.” You finished shyly.

Your eyes were locked with his when suddenly a small noise escaped him, eyes pulling away from yours as his head moved to attempt to hide the way his eyes had grown wet.

I got this line from one of my best friends after her ex broke up with her. It made me physically sad and really sympathize with her so I quickly wrote it down into my notes app to save for later LMAOOOO. Knowing that you are your own person and life will inevitably go on after losing someone, but that your heart still wants and is pleading for the one person you can’t have. SO SAD. I’m happy I got to use this line in one of my fics.

The note Jungkook wrote Y/N,,, imagine him not being able to sleep one night over winter break so he just writes down everything he should have told Y/N while he still had the chance…. I’ll for real cry dude, he’s so cute. Also, the line about him buying you fluffy Halloween socks for Christmas went over people’s heads I think but HECK I THOUGHT THAT WAS SO FUNNY AND SWEET (because Y/N bought Christmas socks when it was Halloween teehee).

"Are you two dorks done crying?" Yara’s voice rang out suddenly, causing both of you to jump apart.

"Yara, you creep! Privacy, dude! Ever try knocking?" You sniffed, wiping at your face hurriedly.

"What? Like you were peeing with Jungkook in the bathroom? Please." She waved you off, walking back into the living room to give you two some privacy. She did say Jungkook had 15 minutes before she’d have to come back in after all. "Anyway, Tae will be over in 10 minutes for the Saved By The Bell marathon that’s on so you guys are more than welcomed to join." She called out from her newly seated position on the couch.

I included this scene with Yara because things were getting too serious for my liking ngl. Plus the idea that the four of them would all come together at the end for a much needed reunion made my happy bitchin heart soar.

Jungkook let out a laugh, his palm finding your cheek, eyes locked on your lips. You were preening for his kiss, mouth parting slightly as you anticipated it.

“Partners?”

The question took you by surprise, eyes widening at your not so pretend lover.

Idiot.

“Partners.” You smiled softly, eyes shiny and brimming with tears as he kissed you for what must have been the millionth time, but still somehow felt like the first.

UGH I LOVE THEM I REALLY DO. I was so happy with how this final scene came out :( They’re partners, they really are I miss these boneheads.

AND NOW, I PRESENT THE CANON FUTURE OF THE BITCHIN UNIVERSE...

10 YEARS LATER

Let’s be honest, Jungkook popped the question the day of graduation, he can’t imagine a life in which you wouldn’t be beside him

You said yes (shocker)

Cue Jungkook being the most wonderful partner and respecting your wish to finish your residency program before having the wedding

You absolutely kick ass at being a neonatal surgeon

Also, Jungkook started a film company! It’s small but he loves what he does and works with colleges and helps out the film majors with resources and equipment <3

SO IT'S THE DAY OF YOUR WEDDING RIGHT

Yara and your sisters are helping you get ready, with your best friend as the ever so reassuring maid of honor

And by that I mean you’re as calm as a cucumber and Yara is one wrong move away from having a stroke

“Y/N… Don’t freak out....The catering company put in two orders of shrimp instead of chicken and steak.”

“Yara, it’s okay.”

“NO ITS NOT???? THIS IS YOUR WEDDING DAY AND YOU’RE GETTING CRUSTACEANS.”

Y/N making Yara take a seat and practice some breathing exercises so she doesn’t upset the baby

Oh yeah, Yara is 10 weeks pregnant

Taehyung is the dad lol

Yara and Taehyung have been together ever since that day at the library hehe <3

They moved in together and adopted a cat and everything (sweet boy Tae wanted a dog but Yara’s afraid of dogs and Tae would do anything for that woman so Yeontan the cat it is)

Yara refuses to put a label on their relationship even after all this time, and Tae doesn’t ask for one. They’re happy and dedicated to each other and don’t feel the need to put pressure on something that’s already so perfect

Yara is actually violently in love with Tae but still scoffs when Y/N tries to bring it up

“Oh my god, you’re so in love with him”

“Huh??? you must be sick or something. Get well soon, damn :/”

Yara likes to come up with different labels for Taehyung every time she has to introduce him. Among her favorites are roommate, rent sharer, baby daddy and penis lender

Speaking of Taehyung, he’d have a hand on Jungkook’s shoulder as he tries to calm down the panicking groom to be

“JK, breathe.”

“What if she doesn’t show up? What if she doesn’t want to marry me? What if I pressured her into this and— and I’ve freaked her out and now she hates me?”

“Dude, you guys have been engaged for eight years. She’s had her opportunity to run. She’ll show up.”

Taehyung scruffing up the younger man’s hair reassuringly, which only flusters him more because DAMMIT he wants to look perfect for you and now his hair is messed up >:(

(You like him no matter what his hair looks like though)

Jungkook literally swallowing down a sob as you walk down the aisle and he lays his eyes on you for the first time

You having a dumb smile on your face the entire walk over because your husband to be is crying and you haven’t even exchanged vows yet

The entire audience going all sobby when you finally do exchange vows because they’re so beautiful and real

The ten years together has not been easy— from financial struggles as you tried to support yourself through med school, to personal conflicts when Jungkook wanted to start a family already

But you guys figured it out

You always do

He’s your person. And you are his.

Y/N’s sisters Rosa and Lia are a WRECK— even your dad is tearing up

Your family loves Jungkook and have been counting down the days until you guys married, let’s be honest

“You may now kiss the bride.”

Jungkook punching the air with a “FINALLY!” before kissing the hell out of you

The cutting of the cake inevitably turning into a food fight

The shrimp entrees turning out to be pretty damn good

Yara catching the bouquet and wagging her brows at Taehyung suggestively

Jungkook pulling you aside to take photos of you outside the venue because you look so so pretty and he loves the way you smile when he’s the one behind the camera

The party is in full session, your siblings tearing up the dance floor like the extroverts they are

You and Jungkook are sat at the head of the room, hands intertwined underneath the table as you watch a tired and painfully sober Yara swing her bare feet onto Taehyung’s lap, requesting a foot rub

Watching your pregnant best friend and her lover together, you turned towards your own, smile impossibly wide

“What?”

“Let’s have a baby.” You’d grin, so stupid happy

Jungkook’s eyes going round and immediately jumping up from his seat because god that’s all he’s ever wanted

Being tugged out the room by a giddy Jungkook, one of your heels flinging off somewhere behind you.

“What’s happening? Where are we going?!”

The two of you find yourself in a storage room somewhere on the hotel floor

“Jeon Jungkook, what the hell—“

His mouth find yourself, kissing you in a way that couldn’t at the altar

You kissed him back without questions, arms wrapping around the man you now called your husband

“I love you.” He’d sigh into your neck, his hot breath causing you to shiver

“I love you too.”

“Let’s make a baby.”

“Yeah let’s— wait, right here? Right now?!”

Jungkook merely nodding as his mouth found the exposed skin of your chest

“Meathead, we can’t just ditch our wedding to have sex!”

“Why not? We did our marital duties. Now it’s our guests' job to get embarrassingly drunk and make a fool of themselves on the dance floor. No one will even miss us.”

“Isn’t baby making what our honeymoon is for?”

“Screw that. I’ve done my waiting. Let’s start our family, nerd.”

Jungkook kissing your protests silent before you inevitably give in and let him take you right there and then, your wedding dress hung around your hips

Husband and wife coming together with shaky breaths and hushed moans as they promise the rest of their lives to each other, making every argument, struggle or moment of uncertainty leading up to now totally worth it

Walk of shame back into the party with nervous hair fixing from you and a proud grin from Jungkook

Yara figuring out exactly why you two had sneaked off to, flashing the newly weds a knowing smirk

The night of your wedding, Jungkook surprises you with a present

You unwrap it in confusion, only to see that it’s a glass frame and inside of it is the wrinkled and worn out lined paper the two of you had scribbled on many many years ago

Jungkook hangs up the contract right above your bed as per your request, smiling as he does and jumping on him the moment he puts down the hammer bc dammit it you’re too heckin excited to make love with your sentimental loser of a husband

And yes, by the next month, you are pregnant and incredibly happy

And of course, your daughter and Yara’s son grow up to be best friends, not a family holiday passing by where they aren’t told the story of the totally bitchin’ way both set of their parents got together

#beyond the story #bts smut #Jungkook smut #bts jungkook #bts #bts imagines #bts preferences #Jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook

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beneaththemasks · 3 years ago

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Analyzing Atsushi and Akutagawa pt.1 (I have a lot to say so there's gonna be a part 2)

CW: Dazai hate

first of all I want to clarify that I don’t think any of this is going to happen but it’d be really nice if it did... however, since BSD is a fiction story and my analysis is based on what would be ideal in the real life I don’t think it’s too likely for this to happen.

I think Atsushi should leave the ADA and Akutagawa should leave the Port Mafia.

To begin with, I’d like to tell you how I came up with this idea;

The thing is that in the BSD fandom there’s this (sadly too popular) discussion about Atsushi being a good, strong and entertaining main character or not. Many times I’ve seen people discussing this as if it was simply and wholy a matter of yes or no and the more the discussion grows the more angry I get (but i get angry too easily so don’t mind me).

In my opinion Atsushi is not weak, I actually don’t think any character in BSD is tbh (I mean they’d beat the shit out of me even if they don’t know how to fight because all ever do with my life is sit on my tiny piano and play my silly little mozart). But leaving the physical strenght aside, I still don’t think he’s a weak/strong or boring/entretaining character. I think the charm of Atsushi as a MC lies elsewhere.

Yes he’s pretty, he’s kind, he has an e-boy haircut and I’d let him step on me with those worn-out dirty boots.

But he’s also a common person living among prodigies and demons.

(Really, I feel like standing up and appaluding Asagiri for choosing Atsushi as the mc and writing him the way he did because there’s nothing that could make my shitty life better than knowing that the protagonist of my favourite story in the world is someone I can relate so much to that I actually ended up learning more about myself through him.)

And yes, we’ve seen this happen many times in countless stories (yes yes haikyuu for example) where the plot worked as good as any other even though the MC took longer than the rest to get to where they were but managed to do so in the end (unlike the typical shonen mc that levels-up overnight) plus what people mostly criticize about Atsushi as a MC are his constant war flashbacks and how much he self-doubts himself.

So I came to the conclusion that it's not really Atsushi and his journey as a MC but his unresolved trauma what seems to annoy the audience instead.

And that’s how I came up with a fiction-breaking answer to your problems; If you want Atsushi to stop suffering over and over again for the same things, he has to leave the ADA and get some real therapy.

(Don’t misunderstand me, even if I accept him and love him as he’s now, I’d still love it if this were the real final for him bc it hurts me to see him suffer all the time.)

Think about it, Atsushi is just a poor boy, abandoned by hell itself and thrown into the street in the worst conditions a human being could be just to end up running into a maniac manipulator with a good heart that offers him a roof over his head on the condition he accepts a job that Atsushi himself says doesn’t want and is too afraid to be a part of and that he tried to leave once but failed to do so and then felt too guilty to try again because he eats guilt and remorse with milk for breakfast so now he has no choice but risk his life, face his archenemy physical pain to beat his enemies and constantly fear that he might not be doing what’s right or being good enough while having a huge responsibility on his bare shoulders.

As it stands, his situation can only be explained by that famous saying “it’s not that you don’t want to grow/heal, it’s that the environment is not apt for you to do it”. Yeah, no wonder he hasn’t made any progress overnight and feels so hopeless at times.

I love everyone in the ADA (not you Dazai) and their found family made out of scraps and angsty love is all I ever whish for, but just because he’s finally found people to rely on that care about him doesn’t mean it’s enough to heal so much damage (suprise suprise your family and love won’t always be enough to heal trauma). Atsushi won’t overcome his fears by facing them head-on nor will he become more independent by fighting on his own (actually we all know he hates fighting alone and that’s because he’s not in a place where he can trust in himself yet) instead, it’s very likely he’ll end up pushing himself to the limit to get “stronger” faster and end up loosing sight of himself.

And here's where Akutagawa enters.

The reason why I also mention him is because Akutagawa for me is the perfect example of why Atsushi has to stop now before it’s too late.

Akutagawa has been past the point of no return for a long time now, he’s fought so hard to get "better" faster for the sake of being recognised by Dazai that he stopped recognising what’s real and what’s not. Akutagawa is already strong enough and has everything he needs but can’t recognise it because he works in a place where the more and faster you kill the better you are, so even though he’s the most feared member of the PM he doesn’t believe it because he hasn’t heard Dazai saying it.

To me it makes perfect sense that Dazai insists so much on making them face each other, I mean, Atsushi has everything Akutagawa wants and Akutagawa has everything Atsushi wants and as long each they stay blinded by their own unrealistic expectations they’ll keep risking their lives for something they will never accomplish under those circumstances, it turns into a vicious cycle where Dazai seems to be the only one benefiting from this since he now has two UltraRare awakened subordinates to fight for the sake of his book or whatever he wants. (but don’t let me get too excited about this topic ‘cause I could talk about Dazai for 3 days)

Yes I know I know, it was a very good thing that Asagiri decided to break that toxic vicious cycle and made one of them think for both to finally make Atsushi challenge Akutagawa to stop killing for six months as a condition to fight with him (that's called GROWTH, breaking out of the cage, abandoning the nest, etc).

But unlike Atsushi, Akutagawa doesn’t have many people to rely on when the time all of his enemies show up -after mori has beaten the fuck out of him for not showing results and lowers his rank to the same Oda had- to make him pay (let’s be honest the mafia couldn’t care less about the errand boy).

Basically, Aku has to leave the Port Mafia in order to stay safe, gain perspective and find a reason to live of his own rather than sit and wait for dazai to approve of his every move (the same goes for Sushi, he has to stop throwing himself off of high buildings to save people and stopping bullets with his mouth to be validated by his peers).

But yeah, Akutagawa is probably not going to leave the PM and Atsushi is probably not going to leave the ADA but as someone who really wants to see them doing some real growth and barely stands this “just forget your trauma and fight” thing that’s going on I had to say it.

I mean, look at Dazai, it was no untill Oda told him he clearly wasn’t going to find a purpose to live that he decided that mayyyyybe the PM was not a good place to try spiritual healing.

What’s more, I’d say almost every single character in BSD is too fucked up to be able to heal in the kind of environmet they work at and that they must have let the pain sink or whatever bc they jsut don’t want to change their lives but idk man that’s fine if it makes them happy.

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd manga #bsd akutagawa #bsd atsushi #sskk #analysis time

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sugarmaplewings-fics · 4 years ago

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Party Jitters

Pairing: Bakugou x anxious reader

Warnings: SWORE (also some anxiety but it’s not too intense. Maybe a bit of bullying, but it’s not really directly to y/n)

Author’s Note:

So this is the first request I’ve ever completed (🎉✨✨🎇) and I’m pretty proud of it! I started out having this go in a completely different direction and I got pretty far along until I decided it wasn’t really the vibe I was going for, so I stopped and started over. I might post the original later (either I’ll finish it up or just as the wip it is) but idk. Tell me if you want it, I guess? Idk, I might just post it anyway bc I do that sometimes.

Anyway, huge thank you to @bozowrites for sending in this request! I hope it fit something along the lines of what you were thinking!

Enjoy!

-Sugar

⋘ ────────── ∗ ⋅◈⋅ ∗ ───────── ⋙

Oh, if only you knew how you had gotten yourself into this situation now

Except you did know, and it was all your own damn fault

You hated parties. You knew you hated parties; but in a moment of unjustified courage, you had convinced yourself that it was a good idea to get out there more

A friend from your middle school was throwing a get-together for your previous grade, and you thought it might be nice to see some of the kids you’d grown up with

You’d done yourself up with a different hair style and moderately more formal clothes than you wore normally, even convincing your boyfriend to come along with you

But oh, no. This was not good. The furthest thing from a good idea, if you asked your present self

It was as if only now you remembered that there weren’t many people there that you cared to see

You were at someone’s house, music blaring and lights dimmed

Katsuki had wandered off to get you both an age-appropriate beverage, and now you were standing alone in a corner

You spotted the group of kids who used to throw rude comments at you. To be honest, they were pretty rude to everyone, yet somehow they were still considered popular

That was all a whole year ago. We’re in different schools now, it doesn’t matter

Nevertheless, it felt like they wouldn’t stop looking over at you. You swore that one of the girls leaning over to whisper something in her friend’s ear was without a doubt talking about you

What could be wrong with you? You smoothed your top, wondering if you’d somehow magically changed into something else; something out of place and stupid

It felt like any minute they would come over and try to talk to you, even though you’d barely talked to anyone at all the entire time you were here

You felt like an outsider, which was ridiculous, since this was your old class

But no, there it was; the sick, nauseous feeling you were all too unpleasantly acquainted with

You wanted to run, but you’d made all the effort to come here. Where was Bakugou? You couldn’t ditch him

You tapped your fingers against your thigh to the rhythm of the music; a song you’d never heard before

This had been a mistake; a bad idea, and now your throat was starting to close up, the distant beginnings of tears prickling in the corners of your eyes

“Oi.”

Your eyes snapped up from the floor, fearing the worst for a moment

Theywerehere, theywouldtalktoyou, theywouldteaseyou—

Bakugou stood next to you, holding two cups of lemonade

“Here.” He handed you the plastic drink container, and you took it with shaking hands

“Something wrong?” Katsuki asked, noticing

You went to shake your head, but finally thought better of it

“I don’t think I want to be here,” you admitted, sipping at your overly sugary drink

Bakugou scanned your face, setting his cup down on the floor next to the wall beside him

“Did something happen?” he asked, cupping your face in one of his large, strong hands

“No, I just . . . I’m sorry I dragged you here. This isn’t what I thought it would be.”

Bakugou shrugged, pulling you closer into him. “I’m glad I came. Otherwise you’d be here alone.”

You simply nodded, taking a deep breath to right yourself. “I’m glad you’re here too.”

Katsuki slipped his hand into yours, giving it a gentle squeeze. “Wanna get going?”

“Yeah.”

“I’ll take you to my place and we can watch a movie or something. This party’s lame anyway.”

You chuckled. “That’s not very nice.”

“It’s the truth. Now let’s go.”

He pulled you to the center of the room, nearing the crowd of popular kids you’d been watching before

“Hey, is that Bakugou Katsuki?”

“The slime monster kid?”

“No, the one from the sports festival.”

“Same person, dipshit.”

Your boyfriend froze at the sound of his name, slowly turning to glare at your former peers

“What about me?” he questioned, gruff voice easily heard over the sound of the music

“Just wondering what you were doing here,” one of the girls said, giving him an overly pretty and practiced smile. “You didn’t go to this school.”

“No, I didn’t, but I’m leaving your dumb party anyway.”

He started to walk off again, but that was when they spotted you behind him

“(Y/N)?!”

“Did you bring him here?”

“Is he supposed to be your boyfriend or something?”

You swallowed heavily, averting your eyes and walking faster, only to bump into Katsuki’s back

He had stilled in his path, a shadow crossing his eyes. You knew that look, that dangerous expression on his face. Bakugou was little more than a ticking time bomb, and your former classmates had just set him off

He slowly turned again to face them, and you could feel the palm clutching yours growing hotter in its grasp

“Have a problem with her? Or do you have a problem with me?” he asked, voice too low, too quiet

The same girl scoffed, flipping her hair over her shoulder. “It’s just that someone like her? With someone like you? You know what I mean, right guys?”

She snickered, turning back to her friends, who had now turned their full attention to the both of you

You weren’t sure if you’d ever seen Katsuki so angry, which was saying a lot, since he was outraged about something nearly all the time

Trying to prevent him from doing something he’d regret, you tugged at his shirtsleeve

He glanced back at you, face softening the tiniest of fractions

Balling his opposite fist, he walked back to the girl who’d called him out, pointing a finger in her face

“(Y/N) is my girlfriend and I love her, got it? I don’t need the opinions of shitty extras like you on my goddamn relationship. Just get the fuck out of my way and don’t talk to us again.”

With that, he went back to walking out, pulling you behind him in tow. He easily cleared a path for the both of you, yelling when someone wouldn’t move out of the way fast enough

When you were finally outside, he started walking you to the train station so he could take you home

“Don’t listen to those extras,” he finally said. Bakugou slowed down his pace and relaxed his grip on your hand, letting you settle comfortably into step beside him

“We do make quite the couple,” you remarked

He looked over at you, letting his face fall into the smallest of smiles. “Maybe tonight was kind of a shitshow, but you best believe that it won’t last.”

“Oh? Why’s that?”

“Because I’m the best boyfriend there ever was, and I know how to show my girlfriend a good time.”

You grinned, hugging him from the side as you walked. “You most certainly are.” Maybe it wasn’t always a good idea to inflate the blond’s ego, but you couldn’t help but be forever grateful for how he had impacted your life

When it came down to it, Katsuki would always show how much he cared, whether it was in your defense or simply getting you through a tough day

By the time you’d gotten off the train, all your worries had slipped from your mind, walking hand in hand in the moonlit darkness to spend the night at your boyfriend’s home

⋘ ────────── ∗ ⋅◈⋅ ∗ ───────── ⋙

Taglist: @basicaegyo @iiminibattlehero @pyrofanatic @sokkasangel @xoxopam4

#bakugou #katsuki bakugou #bakugou katsuki #bakugou bnha #katsuki bakugou bnha #bakugou katsuki bnha #bakugou imagine #katsuki bakugou imagine #bakugou katsuki imagine #bakugou scenario #bakugou x reader #katsuki bakugou x reader #bakugou katsuki x reader #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #bnha x reader #mha x reader #reader insert #sugar scen

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alethiometry · 3 years ago

Note

Edward Kenway for character asks!

ooooooo okay i should open this with a disclaimer: i have not finished black flag yet (about 2/3 of the way through i think? i need to level up my ship so i can beat the next story mission lol) so everything i'm saying here is based on the game up to thatch's death, and everything we know about edward in ac 3: forsaken and the comics that came out a couple years ago.

First impression

oh boy... to be honest, one of the reasons it took me such a long time to get around to playing black flag (it was one of the first ps4 games i bought when i got my console in 2016, and i didn't start until about a month ago) was because i didn't really feel particularly strongly about edward's character design. i was vaguely interested in That One Pirate Assassin Game after having watched (and loved) black sails, but was afraid i would be let down; to me edward just looked like Some Dude, and i was still hung up on the black sails gang. to me, black sails and its characters were so genre/time period-defining that any other piece of pirate media just seemed lackluster in comparison.

i'd also heard a lot of praise for edward and for ac4 in general so i was aware that it was a very popular and well-received game. but since i mostly heard that from reddit (didn't join tumblr ac fandom until odyssey in 2018) i kind of discounted it, bc gamer reddit tastes are... questionable at best.

Impression now

I LOVE HIM!!! i always think i want stories about virtuous characters who believe in goodness and kindness and aren't motivated by gold or glory but aren't afraid to do what needs to be done to help others who can't help themselves. and sometimes that's true (coughratonhnhake:toncough). other times i end up clowning on myself because i realize that it's so much fun when said good/kind character has a rough and rugged exterior, and is motivated by personal gain (i think edward and kassandra are kinda kindred spirits across time and space in that regard, but maybe that's another rant for another time). sometimes you just want someone to be a little bit of an opportunistic bastard, and boy does edward fit that to a T. he's an incredibly complex man, and i think what really got me was that even as he was impersonating assassins and then templars and then assassins again, all for personal gain (pickpocketing the templars in havana while he gains their trust and agrees to do their dirty work lmfao my beloved <3), his primary motivation for doing so was to prove to caroline and her family that he is someone worth a damn, that he is capable of great things and that he is worthy of their love and acceptance. and i know from ac forsaken that the marriage with caroline doesn't last (though i haven't played ac4 far enough to see if that happens on screen, or if it occurs between the game and the novel) which makes his backstory in the game all the more heartbreaking. but his optimism and perseverance and determination to prove himself are all what make me love him.

so that's edward the romantic. now let's talk about the way edward is with adewale, his crew, and his friends. and let's also put the rest of this behind a readmore bc girl i am RANTINGGGGGG

he has several lines that he says to adewale that make me physically cringe (namely: "many of [these men] wouldn't accept you as captain" or "what was it like being enslaved?" like i get that someone like edward would be asking that question in good faith and genuine curiosity but also JESUS CHRIST UBISOFT). but on the flip side - cringey as those questions are, he also takes the time to actually listen and learn, and i think he genuinely values the perspective that he gets from adewale allowing him to open these lines of trust and communication. there's a patience and mutual respect there that i adore.

i also love how much edward loves his crew and his other pirate friends. those scenes of him + kidd + thatch + adewale + hornigold (lol) drinking on the beach and having a grand old time and talking about establishing - to borrow one of my favorite chills-down-my-spine phrases from black sails - a nation of thieves, for people like them to live and prosper, free from the chokehold of civilization. and i know he's not as outwardly invested in counterculture/independence/anticolonialism as thatch and vane and kidd are, but the fact that he so wholeheartedly supports his friends' goals, lofty and impossible as they are, speaks volumes about his love for his friends.

Favorite moment

every scene he has with kidd when kidd casually and softly reminds him that they see that he is a good person beneath his opportunistic and rambunctious exterior. i especially love when they discover julien du casse's mansion containing orders for templars to go out and hunt down assassins: the way kidd immediately knows that edward wants to help the assassins as a way to make up for the damage he did while masquerading as a templar, even if he hasn't voiced it aloud himself. the way that they don't force edward to admit anything about himself before he is ready, but still constantly remind him that he has a good heart. they give him space to come to terms with his compassionate side in a world/environment that more often than sees compassion as something to be stamped out or cast aside. i don’t love when characters are forced to be the Moral Compass for a main dude character, but i think it works for edward and kidd.

Idea for a story

not an edward story per se, but there are 2 povs into edward's life that i would cut off (someone else's) limbs for:

jenny's pov growing up in the kenway household. from haytham's pov it seems that she knows way more about his past than haytham ever did (it was hinted at that there are rumors about edward’s past as haytham was growing up that he wasn’t privy to, but i don’t think at any point in the novel does haytham ever find out definitively that his father was a pirate) and i want to know how she knew so much, and more into what her life was like - through her eyes rather than haytham, who is like 10 years younger and by his own admission barely understands her and barely has a functional relationship with her. i'll expand further on edward and jenny in the next question/prompt/bullet point, actually, bc i have a LOT more to say.

connor's pov learning about his grandfather from... idk? who's around to tell him? what's so goddamn sad is that by the time connor rebuilds the colonial brotherhood he's kinda the only one left. sure there's aveline down in louisiana, but as far as we know everyone who was around in edward's generation is dead now, and i'm not sure how much of the kenway saga is preserved for connor to discover, or if all this information about their family line was discovered in the modern-day, by your abstergo employee character, and later by osto berg in the comics. which is why i so badly want a revelations-style game where connor traces his assassin heritage back to the caribbean, relives some of edward's memories, and then makes the trip to london to see his aunt jenny. it would have been such a cool way to round out the kenway saga.

Unpopular opinion

idk how popular or unpopular this is bc i rarely see other in-depth posts about it on my dash, but edward was a terrible father to jenny. he was every bit the wonderful and loving father to haytham for the 10 years that haytham had a father, but i wish we'd seen more of jenny's perspective than just a few lines of dialogue in haytham's diary: i hate the way edward sidelined her and raised her in the same manner that any other wealthy person of the time would have raised their daughter - that is, for the sole purpose of sitting pretty and marrying her off in an arrangement that would benefit the family. it's especially hard to reconcile because in ac4 there are female assassins in the americas, and there are female pirates in the caribbean, so it's not like edward isn't aware that women have as much right as any man to live life on their own terms. it just seems like by the time he returns to england and settles down with his family, he's reverted back to the societal norms and gender roles that the pirates fought (and lost) against, and it's hard not to be deeply disappointed by that.

to be clear, i don't begrudge edward settling down and becoming a Rich Society Man. dude deserves to live comfortably with his loving family. he has every right to dote on his wife and children, and leave behind the hardships of being a pirate. but i think "fightning against deeply-ingrained cultural norms/expectations is a long and bloody struggle, and after losing so many people he cared so deeply about, i think it's understandable that edward wouldn't want to continue that fight alone (and also adewale is still fighting the good fight) (do NOT @ me about ac rogue I Pretend I Do Not See It)" and "i don't love the way edward sidelined his daughter into societally-expected gender roles she did not want; it makes me think that he did not continue drinking his Respect Women Juice as much as i thought he did/wanted him to" are two opinions that can coexist.

Favorite relationship

i don't know that i ship edward romantically with anyone, actually. i thought he and caroline were cute in the beginning, but it's hard to want to ship them knowing that she leaves him eventually. and ofc there'd edward/tessa in ac forsaken, and we know they were very happy together and that he loved her so so much. but we don't see that relationship except through haytham's eyes.

as for non-romantic relationships, i already talked at length above about his relationships with adewale and the other pirates and kidd, and i'll just leave it at that. i'm also vaguely aware that edward's got some upcoming scenes with anne bonny, but i'm not at that point in the game yet so i don't have much to say about the two of them. so far i've only seen them say a few lines to each other at the nassau tavern.

Favorite headcanon

kassandra absolutely rubbed shoulders with edward at some point during his time in the caribbean; i like to think that she needed to lie low for some reason (maybe she was with the assassins idk) and joined his crew. i just need my best stabby gal and my second-favorite stabby dude to be pals!

finally, this isn't a headcanon per se but it is obligatory that any time i talk about kenways i yell for a bit about the fact that EDWARD WOULD HAVE LOVED CONNOR SO SO SO MUCH AND I'M FOREVER DEVASTATED THAT HE NEVER GOT TO MEET HIM. at the same time, if edward hadn't been murdered and haytham not been indoctrinated into the templars the way he had, i'm not sure connor would even have existed. and in a way i'm glad that edward wasn't around to see how broken and cynical and depressed haytham became, because i think that would have absolutely broken his heart.

send me a character!

#KEN👏WAY👏BRAIN👏ROT👏#assassin's creed #ac black flag #edward kenway #ask games #reiverreturns #THANK YOU FOR ASKING i hope you expected and wanted this can of worms #finally wrangled that stupid ask box bug - saved this in my drafts and edited it from there #and lo and behold i can type W E and L!

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whirlybirbs · 4 years ago

Note

I just want to know how you feel about supporting other fanfic writers. on tumblr theres such a huge emphasis put on reblogging fellow creator’s work to boost them. I understand how important that is but as a fairly big blog, do you feel that it is a responsibility on your shoulders to boost others? I ask u this not bc I want you to do anything, but bc I’m in the same position and I’m feeling very pressured to reblog all my mutual’s content. I’m torn between the whole “it’s my blog” view (aka I just want to log on, post and disappear. that’s all I want to do) and also “I have a debt to repay” bc I know how many people supported me when I started out. that being said...I didn’t expect it, and I still don’t expect interaction from anyone. whether some chooses to rb or like my content has never been a concern for me, but I know interaction is a HUGE thing for many writers here. idk I feel disingenuous for reblogging and hyping them up when I’m really not in the headspace for it...and i feel like I’m putting on some kind of front to my followers like I’m a slimy salesman. this might not make ANY sense hope, completely understand hahahah. if u do want to reply I would prefer this ask not to be posted publicly but yeah you’re under no obligation ofc! (2/2)

honestly i think this is a really good question that a lot of people try to navigate — and i would answer privately but because it’s an anon i can’t! however!

i think this is a great discussion to have because you raise a lot of really good points here and you’re not the first person to ask me about this!

it’s been an interesting culture shift — i have been writing on tumblr for well over four years now, so i’ve watched the algorithm slowly begin to kill written mediums steadily. with this, a lot of people started talking about the like to reblog difference and how to “properly support writers on tumblr”.

for me, interactions are interactions — seeing comments or reblogged comments are particularly lovely because it means someone enjoyed your work enough to take the time to talk to you about. same with asks about certain works! it’s incredibly lovely to see these things, read them, and interact with readers. for some, likes operate the same way. some people are just shy. maybe they don’t have time to send a whole literary analysis on the metaphor you used in paragraph eight. and that’s okay!

i think the tumblr obsession with notes and “boosting” fics has gotten a bit out of hand, and in my experience, i’ve noticed a few of the blogs behind these popular posts can be a bit fame-hungry. in reality, being popular on tumblr has little value, really. no money, a good amount of hate, but gain a strong community if you do it right that can be wonderful! that’s the best part - but sometimes these small writers push for a bit of virtue signaling in that you aren’t “supporting writers” if you don’t reblog to gain this. every other post is something about writing floppping, or how people on their tag list need to interact or they’ll be removed.

(yes, seriously i have gotten into beef with someone over this exact practice, just ask lauren.)

this is why i personally don’t like getting messages about “you should read (this fic) by (this writer)” and i get them a lot. it’s a weird feeling because they’re often without explanation, random, and on anon. it feels a lot like trying to game free exposure to 13k followers. i have set a standard where i don’t do fic recs, so i ignore these messages. and that’s just how i roll!

if you really want to support writers on tumblr, donate to their ko-fi’s. commission a writing piece. send them $5 on paypal. we really do this stuff for free. some people may want to be paid in “exposure” (i.e. reblogs) but those reblogs aren’t paying my bills so i dunno what they’re on about. to each their own, but paying for a coffee is the ultimate thank you.

personally, i operate from a standpoint of enjoyment. if i really enjoy a fic, i reblog it. like i’m talking jaw-hits-the floor really love it! i feel it’s important to be mindful if you’re going to do fic recs that you don’t reblog everything. unless you’re a blog specifically meant for that, or you run it that way!

again, everything i’m saying here is my personal take and my personal way of running my blog.

i have been doing this for a long time, with some mediocre success, and truly the worst writer’s block came when i worried about notes. i felt like i wasn’t creating content that was worth it. in reality, i was creating content i enjoyed, but the pressure of seeing those triple digit notes was putting a damper on my style.

giving content creators the thanks they deserve is important, but don’t feel as though it needs to be your full time job. small things go a long way, and a lot of us are immensely grateful for the tiniest of things.

i hope this helps you figure out how you wanna navigate this tricky landscape.

#it really is tricky #but i think that reblogging what you REALLLLLY like is the best practice #i mean even my most popular fics have a massive disparity between likes n reblogs #that’s the norm and always has been #i’ve never really been a big fic rec blog tbh #like even in the beginning i never really had a lot of interactions like that #with my friends yes but #not strangers #i think my tumblr ‘rise’ (idk that’s cheesy) was just sort of natural

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danteinthedevildom · 3 years ago

Text

Ngl I’ve been thinkin over the brother’s fears stuff from the most recent (?) lessons (bc I’m a dirty cheat and saw spoilers so ofc I went and looked up as much shit as I could) and like,

Ok shovin thots under the cut bc it got long oop. Also bc spoilers but y’know.

1 - Lucifer thinkin the “light” (which is ofc God lbr) was his fear despite not fearin it at all is p. weird. Like there was no hesitation, no fear. He just looked at it and went “ew it’s you never thot I’d see you again” and killed it. So clearly that’s NOT his actual fear. Def. Simeon’s I think, like he says a lil later.

So either Lucifer knew it was Simeon’s and “claimed” it to save Simeon’s feelins or smthn or he legit figured it was his fear bc the only thing he could think to be scared of is the guy who threw him out.

Which like. Is such a fuckin non-answer re: his actual fear (tho he did say once goin back to the Celestial Realm was his “greatest fear” or smthn so maybe that’s still true so they didn’t figure that bringin it up again’d be that fun), but is interestin bc it says a lot abt how he sees God.

Like. He got beat and kicked out and had his sister (almost) killed, but he’s still got 0 goddamn fear of his dad. Literal creator of everything God with a capital G don’t scare him. I figure bc he already did the worst thing he could’a done, and he survived that, so what else’s there to fear?

Tho it bein Simeon’s fear is... hm. Def. makes it sound like Simeon’s fearin seein God again. Either bc that’s just smthn any angel’d fear - maybe they only see God one-on-one if they’ve done smthn wrong so that’d be like seein your headteacher pop up outta nowhere, knowin he only comes outta the teacher’s room when you done fucked up - or bc he’s hidin smthn that makes seein God a really Bad Thing. Guilt or worries over some kinda sin?

I mean duh. He’s in love with MC. That ain’t a hidden thing anymore. He’s kissed MC plenty times and I think even said the L-word once or twice. That’s def. grounds to get murderised (as we know, RIP Lilith).

Also hella interestin in a metaphorical sense tho. Like, God’s a light. Simeon’s scared of somethin comin to light. Da-dum-tss, but what a hella cool way of showin that it’s a (technical) secret that’s got him all wound up.

2 - Mammon and Levi both fearin demon-form Lucifer is... understandable, but also kinda sad. Like, legit sad, not “wow ur so sad lol”.

Levi’s way of sayin it makes sense tho. Lucifer only goes full demon form when he’s hella pissed, or outta control. He’s so damn powerful he don’t need to go into that form often, bc he can handle p. much anythin without it - plus he’s just got a p. good control on himself, so no accidental demon-form slips.

Unless ofc he’s so fuckin angry that it just leaps out. We’ve seen it. He gets murderous, and boom - form’s out. Or, situation’s so damn dire it’s got him on edge, and boom - form’s out. Him bein in demon form’s never good.

But him bein in demon form and after them is even worse.

Makes me wonder tho. If it’d just been angry Lucifer, why’d Levi specify it as his demon form’s anger? He gets angry at them hella often, and Mams esp. is strung up p. much daily, so clearly they’re not scared of him bein angry at them.

It’s him bein angry at them while enraged. So either they’ve both pissed him off before bad enough that he’s gone full demon form, and whatever happened then was so fuckin terrifyin they’ve never recovered from it,

Or they know that demon form Lucifer is scary shit, and even tho he’s not gone for them like that before, it’s smthn they’re terrified of in principle. Like, you’ve seen your dad mad on the phone before, and he’s never yelled at you like that, but you know he’s capable of it and that’s terrifyin as shit bc what if you do smthn that pisses him off enough to yell at you like that?

A lil part of me leans towards the latter bc tho they were scared it wasn’t smthn Levi said as tho it’d happened. More like smthn he’s hypothetically scared of. Plus idk what times Lucifer’d be so pissed he goes full rage at them? His demon form’s only really come out when the family’s in danger. Even shit like Lotan bein summoned don’t usually end in a demon form Lucifer (I’m p. sure anyway).

3 - Ok so like who was surprised by this. Asmo’s beauty is p. integral to who he is. He’s nothin if he’s not beautiful, and that’s what I think scares him. Not the bein ugly, but that bein ugly means he’s not Asmo.

Means he can’t get the attention he needs, can’t be loved by ppl, won’t get all the adoration and affection - he won’t be popular. And Asmo hella needs to be reassured that he’s pretty and loved. It’s who he is and what his identity is based on.

Plus we’ve seen I’m p. sure a couple scenes where he’s been a lil worried/nervous abt if MC likes him for him. Beyond the beauty. He legit don’t think there’s anythin worth lovin if he’s not pretty, so ofc him bein ugly’s gonna be his biggest fear. Bc who’s gonna love him then.

4 - Also smthn no-one’s gonna be surprised by. It’s his whole sense of identity. That’s not gonna go away for him overnight, y’know? The fact that it was angel Lucifer, tho - not just, like, normal Lucifer - was a p. cool touch.

That’s his roots. Not Lucifer the demon - Lucifer the angel. That’s what he’s based on. Smthn he never was but was always part of.

He’s legit just the Lil Hal-Dirk connundrum which jfc that’s showin my fandoms huh. Is smthn that comes from smthn else its own unique person, or is it just a copy that’s always gonna get drawn back to what it was? How can it be original when everythin it is came from smthn else?

That’s a hell of an identity crisis. Even bein Wrath and bein p. physically different and even likin different shit’s not enough to stop that feelin of ig imposter syndrome? Or of just bein a fragment of smthn else. Esp. when you know everyone else’s their own damn being. No one can understand where he’s comin from bc his “birth” was totally unique. He’s not just, like, Lucifer’s son or whatever - he’s legit a part of Lucifer’s emotions that just got plopped out one day.

(Except ofc he’s not bc Lucifer knew he was different and felt him like a different presence for a while before the Fall but Satan’s got his memories and that’s kinda like bein someone anyway, ain’t it?)

So yeah, not surprisin, but also? I rlly hope he gets confident in who he is one day. Legit the idea that he’s still sittin there goin “who am I?” just hurts.

5 - This bitch got trauma. Lbr it was either gonna be Belphie or it was gonna be Lilith and we all knew that was comin. Beel’s still not over the death of Lilith and his “role” in it (bc survivor’s guilt is a bitch and he’s still thinkin “not being able to save two ppl in two different places at the same time” is a sin), so losin anyone else is gonna hurt him.

But bein the reason he lost them? Oh that’s gonna hurt him even more. Esp. with the blame he’s still puttin on himself. It’s one thing to be like the passive cause that someone died but bein the active cause? Even by accident? Poor Beel.

I don’t think anythin could’a been worse for him. That ain’t just a fear, that’s outright smthn he’s still strugglin with PTSD over. Like hell no shit he almost/did break down over it, that’s just shovin a trigger right in his face.

6 - Bein alone, bein abandoned, not bein able to find anyone in pure darkness. That’s... damn. Either that’s lingerin trauma from bein locked up in the attic, knowin that no one was gonna find him or could hear him (which, fuck, how much did he try’n call for his brothers to come get him only to realise no one was gonna come?), or smthn set up that fear before the attic and the attic just made it hells of worse.

Like that wasn’t just “bein in a room apart from ppl”, it was outright “not knowin where anyone is, or seein/hearin/feelin them”. Total sensory deprivation.

Oh. His worst fear’s not feelin anythin. That’s. Y’all.

Idk how to end this now I’m just big hurty thinkin abt the last two jfc. No wonder Belphie’s always wantin to be asleep next to smthn. “He sleeps better with someone there” no sir you just hella fear sleepin bc your sin’s legit exactly what you’re terrified of and havin smthn there’s the best way to fix it.

#obey me #danteintherambles #idk what to tag this as I got distracted like half way through lmao #Writin out this instead of figurin out homeschoolin stuff y'all know how it is

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pappydaddy · 4 years ago

Text

Heather (j.m.)

A/N: I guess I’m back? I never really left, I was just kinda without internet and then I just completely lost all concept of time. Like I am not kidding, I have no idea what day it is. But anyway, I am working on my Steve Harrington series and trying to get the third part out soon and I have a bunch of ideas for imagines so I am going to be working on those, trying to get those out as soon as possible. This piece is inspired by sad bitch hours bc I like listening to sad songs even if I’m not sad?? So, this is inspired by Heather by Conan Gray. I also love writing sad angst after long breaks for some reason. ANYWAY, enjoy and check out the song bc Conan Gray is amazing.

Show/Movie: Outer Banks

Pairing: JJ Maybank x Reader

Warnings: Sad, angst, longing, negative thoughts about oneself (appearance, personality, etc), comparing to other people, jealousy, unspoken feelings

I think I’m going to do a part two, maybe even a part three, idk, we’ll see!

Link to an edited youtube video of this song (I used this one to write with)

Link to Spotify version of this song

Part One - You’re here! | Part Two

masterlist | taglist | wips | navigation

- not my gif -

The cool ocean breeze blew past her as she sat on a piece of driftwood, the sound of waves lapping up onto the wet sand inches away from her bare feet calmed her. The beginnings of a party stirred the peaceful silence up behind her, disrupting the calm the ocean set. Her friends were up by the bonfire they started, talking and laughing about something. Y/N was torn. She didn’t know if she was sad to be missing out on the fun or if she was glad she didn’t need to plaster on her fake smile she usually had to wear around her. The newest addition to their small, tight-knit group. Normally, one of the boy’s flings wouldn’t affect her like this, but when it’s the blonde-haired, blue-eyed boy bringing them around, she couldn’t help but feel her heart-breaking each time.

She had tried to deny her feeling for a long time, mostly because she knew that he’d never get into a serious relationship, it was just the way JJ was; the second reason was because of the rule: no Pogue on Pogue macking. Of course, the rule was able to give her a reason to keep her feelings a secret from everyone, but it was also what made her hurt so much. If she could just tell someone about her feelings, she’d be able to sit up there by the warm fire with her friends, laughing and joking with them. Instead, she kept her mouth shut about her feelings and she distanced herself from them whenever she was there.

Y/N hugged herself, wrapping herself up in warmth. The thin sweater she wore didn’t do much against the fall wind attacking her along with the breeze blowing off the ocean. Nights were colder, the summer humidity disappearing quickly, but it didn’t stop the teens from partying into the night. Glancing over her shoulder, she snuck a glance at her friends. Her eyes, without fail, went right to JJ. His arm was slung around her, his beautiful smile on his face, his adam’s apple bouncing as he retold an embarrassing story about John B who laughed loudly. She was sitting just far enough away that she couldn’t hear the words they were saying, but she could hear their barking laughter.

She watched them, she was beautiful. She was Heather. The new girl. Y/N had nothing against her other than the fact that she had JJ, even if it was going to be over with by the end of this month. JJ never stuck around relationships for too long, but it didn’t mean they hurt Y/N any less. How could Y/N compete with her? Her long black hair blowing in the wind as if she was out of a movie, her striking blue eyes, her perfectly freckled face that looked like an Instagram filter. Y/N would never be as pretty as Heather in her mind.

Y/N’s laid-back, hippie/surfer attitude was no match for Heather, nor were her looks. Heather was beautiful inside out. While the casing looked like she was scalped by the Greek Goddesses, her personality was like she was filled with sunshine and rainbows. No matter when you saw her, she always had a kind smile. She was perfect: smart, kind, popular, pretty. It was as if is was impossible to hate her. She was too kind to.

Standing from her piece of driftwood, Y/N decided that she wasn’t in the mood to be at a party. Grabbing her shoes from the sand by her feet, she made her way along the water, not wanting to walk past her friends and have to answer questions. She didn’t want to spare a glance in Heather’s direction, not wanting to see JJ’s sweater on her. The same sweater he gave her last December.

Shivers ran up her spine as they all laid in the hammocks at The Chateau. While it was winter, they still decided to go out and stargaze after smoking the blunt JJ had just rolled. In their stoned haste to stare at the stars, Y/N had forgotten to bring a sweater or even a blanket, leaving her shivering in the hammock she shared with JJ since he broke his a few days ago.

JJ, having noticed her shivering since she was shaking the hammock - making its swing choppy, sat up. “Here,” He sat up, making her look up at him curiously. While they were slightly buzzed, they were still able to think since they were used to the stuff JJ gets. “Take my sweater, you’re freezing.” He told her, forcing her to sit up and put his sweater on. The dark fabric (while thin) warmed her perfectly but she wasn’t sure if it was because it came off of JJ’s body or if she was just that cold.

“No, JJ, I can’t, you’ll get cold!” She protested, moving to take it off and give it back, but JJ stopped her, zipping it up to make it harder for her to get off.

“You’ve got to now, it looks much better on you and it’ll just be embarrassing if I wore it after you did,” He winked, settling back down, his hands clasped behind his head, his elbows sticking out, blocking where her head was supposed to go. “Plus, since I don’t have a sweater, it just means I need you to cuddle me to keep me warm now.” He smirked, his eyes staying on the stars. With a blush heating her face, Y/N laid back, her head resting on his chest, her arm resting over his stomach.

It was just polyester, but it made her think that there was just a slightest bit of hope that maybe he liked her back. She liked to replay that day over in her head, her mind creating a figment of her imagination - a fictional ending where they ended up together, but since Heather showed up, she stomped all over it with her angel feet, but in the nicest way possible.

Sand kicked up on the backs of her heels, sliding off easily as she walked along the beach. She wondered if anyone noticed that she left, if JJ noticed she left. She doubted it, they were all mesmerized by Heather and her amazing personality while Y/N was off drowning in her own vast ocean of sadness. Looking behind her, she could faintly make the group out, spotting the crackling fire spitting sparks into the sky as started to bleed with fading pinks and oranges. They looked like specks, but she could tell that they were still laughing as if she hadn’t left. Sighing, she made her way up the dune, walking through the cluster of trees and onto the sidewalk, walking against the sea of people making their way towards the party.

____

She was working the next time she saw them. She was trapped and forced to sit there watching them. Of course, she was inside the restaurant while the couple stood outside on the deck, waiting for Pope and John B. Kiara was inside, finishing her shift up. Y/N’s eye caught on them as she grabbed her table their drinks. They were standing there, deep in conversation, their hands clasped together. She couldn’t take her eyes off them as their lips met in a long kiss. Her mind wondered. Why would he ever want to kiss her after having such a perfect girl in his arms?

Y/N wanted to hate her, she really did, but she couldn’t. “Y/N, you’re spilling the water everywhere,” Her co-worker exclaimed, jumping towards her with a dry dishtowel, sopping up the mess. She jolted in shock, his voice snapping her out of her daze. “Your clothes are soaked.” He fussed, trying to help dry her hand. Her eyes glanced back up from the mess at the deck entrance dinging, alerting them of someone entering. The group walked in, JJ and Heather in the back of John B and Pope.

“Hi, Y/N! Where is your section?” John B called out, wanting to be served by his friend as an excuse to see her since he hadn’t talked to her in a while.

“Sorry, John B, I’ll have to take your table so she can get cleaned up, next time.” Her co-worker told them, getting another dry towel to try and help her dry her clothes so she wasn’t dripping everywhere. John B pressed his lips together into a line, nodding with disappointment.

“Thanks, Jack,” John B nodded his chin in Jack’s direction. “Maybe we’ll talk before we leave, Y/N.” She looked back up from her shirt, nodding. Her eyes caught on JJ, their eyes connecting as Heather talked to Kie (who had just came out of the back), not noticing. It certainly was a sight for sore eyes, JJ’s eyes were, but it was gone as fast as it came.

“That should be good, Y/N,” Jack brought her back, making their eyes connect. His eyes were just a gorgeous as JJ’s, but they didn’t take her breath away like JJ’s did. He smiled at her, his eyes sparkling with happiness. His smile was show-stopping, but it didn’t effect her like JJ’s did. “You should go get changed, I’ll take these to the table for you, table four, right?”

“Yeah, thanks Jack, I owe you one.” She called to him, disappearing into the back, thankful that she always brought a change of clothes and thankful that she didn’t have to serve them. Though, she knew that she shift was going to be mostly trying not to even look towards their table, she was happy she didn’t have to go through standing at their table, working even harder at her fake smile so she didn’t show them that she was dying inside while she felt like she wanted to rip her feet off because they were so sore.

____

It was at school, she had seen the whole thing. Lost in the crowd, she stood there watching as Heather weeped. She could tell that JJ was embarrassed, he had tried to do it quickly and in private, but Heather’s load sobs and gasps drew the first few people then they drew the rest of the crowd. Even with a mixture of tears and makeup rolling down her perfect skin, Heather was the figure of beauty. Now, Y/N was certain - she’d never stand a chance with JJ Maybank, even after he broke up with Heather, for Y/N wasn’t half as pretty as her.

Heather pushed through the crowd, trying to get away from JJ. She pushed between Y/N and Jack, who stood beside her, his books hanging by his hip, Y/N’s books in his other hand. “Poor Heather, poor JJ. He actually looks like he tried to break up nicely this time. He must have cared for her at least a little.” He commented, observing the blonde boy while the group dispersed, giving him a perfect view of the two.

“Who wouldn’t care for her, she’s an angel.” Y/N muttered, her eyes connecting with JJ’s. A sympathetic smile stretched onto her face, feeling sorry for him. Their eyes never separated, the two of them standing still, just absorbed in their eye contact.

“Come on, Y/N, let’s go. We can’t be late for our shift.” Jack told her, forcing her to break away from JJ’s eyes. She looked up at him, nodding before turning and walking the short distance to his pick-up, climbing in. Jack tossed their books in the bed, along with their bags, slipping onto the bench seat next to her. Turning to gaze out the window, she saw JJ staring at her, still standing in the same spot. Their eyes connected once again in a fleeting moment before Jack slowly pulled out of the spot, exiting the nearly empty parking lot.

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jungshookz · 5 years ago

Note

Idk if this has been sent before but imagine like baker jin and forgetful y/n like she needs to get a cake for yoongi asap bc she forgot his bday and jin is completely okay w working at supersonic speed for this cute little teary eyed person who seems to be in big trouble

➺ pairing; kim seokjin x reader

➺ genre; baker!jin duh, fluffier than jin’s popular angel food cake!! jin and y/n are a couple of cuties :’)

➺ wordcount: 3.9k

➺ what to expect; “okay! that’s easy. a birthday cake is doable! see? nothing to get teary-eyed over, darling!”

➺ note; i’m not going to lie the one thing that motivated me to finALLy write this request was the phrase ‘cute little teary-eyed person’ i am soFT! I AM SOFT! okay bye i love baker!jin

»»————-　🍰　————-««

you’ve been sitting in your car for the past twenty minutes trying to remember what exactly it was that namjoon asked you to do for yoongi’s birthday

you know it wasn’t to get everyone to sign his birthday card because that was your job lasT year and also jungkook is in charge of that this year because last week he literally asked you to sign yoongi’s card

and it definitely wasn’t to decorate the venue because namjoon always takes care of that (because he likes things done a certain way and doesn’t trust anyone else with the important job of whEre to place the balloons)

and it also wasn’t to wrap his birthday gifts because according to jimin your wrapping skills are awful and you have the cutting skills of a toddler using those play scissors

it certainly wasn’t to pick yoongi up from his apartment because if that was your job then yoongi would be in the car with you right now (it’s hoseok’s job this year)

and taehyung was the one who curated the invite list aNd took care of the music playlist so you know that wasn’t your job either

so what… in the world… did namjoon ask you to do?

your memory has always been pretty shitty so you probably should’ve written it down

actually you dID technically write it down the day namjoon asked you to take care of it because you remember vividly using your pen and writing it on the back of your hand and then you remember namjoon scolding you and delving into a lecture about the dangers of ink poisoning

but then you washed your hands

and once it was wiped away from your hand it was wiped away from your memory

and that was two weeks ago

so now

here you are

in the parking lot of the venue (you guys are celebrating yoongi’s suRPRISE party at his favourite video game arcade) sitting in your car in complete silence hoping that whatever task you were supposed to complete will just naturally come to you

the party starts at 8 and it’s 7 right now so you still have an hour left to think

you came early to help namjoon set up but then the whole ‘i feel like i’m forgetting something’ thought creeped into your mind and now here you are

and you’re a little afraid to go in and ask namjoon about your mystery task because you feel like he’s going to skin you alive if he finds out that you have noT completed the mystery task

but then again he’s namjoon and namjoon wouldn’t hurt a fly!!!! he’s a sweetie pie!!!

whatever your task is it probably wasn’t that important because namjoon should know better than to send you off with completing something that is integral to the success of yoongi’s surprise party

“you have three seconds to tell me that you’re kidding before i actually lose it.” namjoon presses his lips together before exhaling slowly

okay

quick breakdown of what happened after you decided to leave the safety of your car

you came in

said hello to everyone

complimented jimin’s gift-wrapping skills

snuck one of the mini cheeseburger off the foods table

asked tae if he could add dancing queen on the playlist because no party is complete without some ABBA

snuck a mini corndog off the foods table

and then wandered over to a busy namjoon to say hi but before you could say hi namjoon asked you where ‘it’ was, to which you responded with “what… what is ‘it’?”

“by it, i mean the birthday cake. yoongi’s birthday cake. yoongi’s birthday cake that you were supposed to take care of this year because of the revolving system that i- y/n, i need you to say something and stOP staring at me like you don’t know what i’m talking about-“

“oh, the birthday cake!” you snap your fingers before putting your hands on your hips “god, thanks for clearing that up for me. i was literally scratching my head over it for like an hour.”

well there we go!

the mystery has been solved!!!

now you know what namjoon asked you to do for yoongi’s birthday

you were supposed to get his birthday cake!

…

…hollup

the smile immediately drops from your face

YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO GET YOONGI’S BIRTHDAY CAKE

“oh my- oh my goD-“ your eyes practically pop out of their sockets when it finally registers that you were supposed to order a custom birthday cake for yoongi and you definitely did noT order anything for yoongi

“y/n, i asked you to do one thing-!” namjoon groans and throws his hands up into the air

“i know, i know!!!!! it’s okay, i’ll fix this!” you reassure as you rummage through your purse for your car keys “what flavour should i get??? classic birthday cake?? lemon curd??”

“lem- leMON CUR- oh my GOD i want to hurl you into the middle of a busy intersection-“ namjoon feels like he’s about to have a stroke christ almiGHTY

LEMON CURD????

yoongi’s not turning EIGHTY

“lemon curd??” your voice is turning piTchy and that’s an indicator that you are PANICKING “was that a yes for lemon cur-“

you freeze in fear when namjoon suddenly reaches forward and squiSHes your face in between his hand

“shut up and listen to the words that are about to come out of my mouth.” he says lowly and you swallow thickly before nodding

you’re not sure if you like this namjoon

“a four layer cake. alternating layers of chocolate cake and confetti cake. light blue buttercream frosting in between the layers. dark blue buttercream frosting all around. black sprinkles around the cake - not the top, just around the cake, it’s crucial that there are no sprinkles on the top. in black buttercream frosting, ‘happy birthday yoongi’ in block letters.” he almost growls and you feel like your heart is about to fall out of your ass

if anything will teach you to nevEr forget anything again it’ll be this version of namjoon

he’s like bridezilla except instead of a bride he’s a self appointed party planner

“four layers. chocolate. confetti. light blue in between. dark blue all around. black sprinkles all around, not on top. happy birthday yoongi. block letters. black letters. block black letters??” you probably look like a crazy person muttering things to yourself as you huStle back to your car

namjoon said that if you don’t get back to the party with a custom birthday cake by the time the clock strikes 9:00 he’ll kill you and you beLIEVE him

since you’re not going to be there when the party starts jimin said he’ll come up with some buLLshit excuse about you running late so that yoongi doesn’t get too suspicious about your whereabouts

he mentioned that he didn’t really want a cake this year but all of you know how much yoongi loves cake

and you love seeing him make that ‘i’m pretending i’m surprised but in reality i knew this was going to happen all along’ face

it’s so cute!!

you slam the front door shut and hurry to buckle yourself in as you type ‘custom birthday cakes near me’ on google maps

it’s fine! you’ll be fine

you wiLL definitely be able to find some bakery to put together a suPER last minute custom birthday cake

more specifically, a four layer cake with alternating layers of chocolate cake and confetti cake slathered with blue buttercream frosting and covered with sprinkles around it (not on top! just around! very important!) and also it should say ‘happy birthday yoongi!’ and the writing should be in chunky letters using black buttercream frosting

“why do bakeries close so early???” you wonder out loud as you continue to scroll through the results

literally everything is closed

if there’s one thing you’ve learned from this it’s that bakers are noT night owls

c’mon come oN

you’ll take anything at this point

you nearly scream in joy when you see that there’s one bakery that a) specialises in custom cakes and b) is still open for another thirty minutes and c) is not that far from you!!!!

according to google the place called sweet kimfecjins

oh dear god

what the heLL kind of a name is that???

whA-

and it is far from you!!!! it’s a twenty minute drive away from you!!!

under these circumstances that’s not close at aLL

you need a place that’s at the most thirty seconds away from you (you are noT kidding you really need this cake right here right now)

what other options are there

well

there’s a mcdonald’s near you

maybe you can just buy a bunch of those apple pies and use the oreo mcflurries to glue them all together to buiLD a cake

sure, it’s literally the farthest thing from what namjoon told you to get, but it’s a cake!!!!!

…okay you can’t do that to yoongi

if you were presented with an apple-pie-mcflurry nightmare as a birthday cake you would be pretty bummed out

so this means one thing

sweet kimfecjins here we come

surprisingly enough you make it to the bakery in twelve minutes time without running any red lights oR running any pedestrians over

you did honk at a couple crossing the street but you made sure to shoot them an apologetic smile

they still flipped you off but the point is you made it to the bakery with like fifteen minutes left to spare until they close up for the night

and-

“oh- oh no- nonONoOnONONO-“ your eyes are as wide as saucers as you practically slam yourself up against the glass doors right as the (presumable) owner is flipping the sign to ‘closed’ “oh, please- please, google said that you’re not closing for like another fifteen minutes, please, you haVe to help me i nEED a cake-“

namjoon is going to have your head on a stick if you don’t get this cake so you are going to have to beg like you’ve never begged before

jin sighs to himself as he watches the clock tick tock tick tock

it’s been a slow day today

he had a couple people in this afternoon but they only bought like one strawberry turnover to share in between the two of them

who shaRES one single strawberry turnover???

psychopaths, that’s who

and also he had some tourists come in and they bought a box of his carrot cake cupcakes so that was pretty good

he also managed to convince them to buy another box of red velvet cupcakes >:-) it was actually pretty easy because he just had to flirt with the two girls and they immediately were like okAY more cupcakes won’t hurt

…what???

he has to make a living!!!

yoU would do the same if you had to make money

but other than that business has been a little slow

last week he had a bachelorette party cake request and he spent five hours moulding a penis out of fondant so that was pretty exciting

they even gave him a bonus tip because they said it looked very realistic

what can he say?? his hands are magical

but now he’s bored out of his mind and honestly he wouldn’t even mind if he got another request for a penis cake

he just wants to maKE something!!!

he made a couple cakes this morning and put them in the display cases hoping to lure people in to buy them but they’ve been untouched!! so he’s just going to pack up all the leftovers of the day and deliver it to the food bank

hopefully they’ll enjoy all his delicious treats.,.., that they’re getting for free.,,.., even though he would much rather prefer getting compensated for his hard work

do you SEE how beautifully braided the puff pastry is for his apple tarts???????

since no one seems to be buying baked goods at this hour jin decided to close up a little earlier tonight

he’s going to clean up a little bit and do some prepping for tomorrow (his secret to the best chocolate chip cookies is chilling the dough overnight) and then he’s going to pack up all the leftovers and deliver them and thEn he’s finally going to go home and maybe order some dinner or something

as he flips the sign to ‘closed’, he-

“jeSUS fuCJK-“ jin jumps thirty feet in the air when someone suddenly slams up against the glass doors

goD

“oh- oh no- nonONoOnONONO- oh, please- please, google said that you’re not closing for like another fifteen minutes, please, you haVe to help me i nEED a cake-“

thank god the doors are locked because whoever you are you seem INSANE

“i’m sorry, i’m closing up for the night!” jin replies and gives you a shrug “come back tomorrow! i open at 7am sharp-“ jin immediately stops talking when he notices your eyes starting to well up with tears

oh god

he didn’t mean to make you cry!!

why are you crying????

is 7am not early enough for you??

“i- um, i mean i guess i could open at 6:30 but to be honest i might pass out while frosting your cake that early because my beauty sleep is-“

“no, you don’t understand- it’s my friend’s birthday tonight a-and we’re throwing him a surprise party and i was supposed to get the cake for him because that was the task that namjoon- he’s another one of my friends - that he assigned to me but i- well, i wrote it down on my hand but then i washed my hands and then i kinda forgot about it but that was two weeks ago and now i have to get yoongi - that’s the birthday boy - i have to get him his special cake otherwise namjoon’s going to be so upset with me and-“ your mouth is running like a motor and jin can barely keep up with this story because you keep throwing in new details and also it’s hard to hear you through the glass

something something birthday cake something surprise party something bukjoon something something

okay

you know what

you made a fair point

he iS technically still open so he’ll let you in

(and also you’re…,,. kind of cute so there’s that)

a fat tear threatens to roll down your cheek as you continue to blubber and jin holds a finger up

you immediately shut up and jin offers you a smile before opening the door “i’ll help you if you stop crying.”

you nod quickly and reach up to wipe at your drippy eyes

your nose has gone a little pink and your eyes are glossy and jin can’t help but find that even moRe endearing

“now - what did you need?” jin asks calmly as he leads you towards the front counter

“a birthday cake.” you sniffle before clearing your throat

“okay! that’s easy. a birthday cake is doable!” jin claps his hands together after he makes his way behind the counter “see? nothing to get teary-eyed over, darling!”

okay woAh

he’s not sure where the pet-name came from

it just rolled off his tongue so naturally!!!

you hiccup and your nose twitches and jin feels his heart pit-a-pat in his chest

o boy

“but i- it has to be four layers and it has to be chocolate confetti chocolate confetti and then i need blue- light blue buttercream frosting in between the layers and… and i think dark blue buttercream around- or maybe it’s dark blue in between and light blue around-“ you start to ramble again and jin’s eyes widen

chRist

this birthday cake might not be that doable after all

usually he just has to write ‘happy birthday ____!’ on top of a cake and maybe make some pretty frosting roses on top and that’s it

“how about-“ jin interrupts you agAin with a gentle smile, “how about i get you a pen and paper and you can list out all the requirements for this special cake? in the meantime, i’ll heat up a cup of my homemade strawberry milk for you and- are you a fruit person or a chocolate person?”

“chocolate?” you pull a chair out from a table and drag it over so that you’re sitting right by the front counter “i like milk chocolate.”

“lucky for you, i use milk chocolate for my chocolate mousse cake. do you like whipped cream?” jin asks as he slides a notepad and pen over to you

you nod before offering him a shy smile

okay

so far so good

your cake actually isn’t that complicated! it just has a loT of different pieces that have to be put together

and it’s a good thing jin still has some pans of cake that he baked this morning (usually he bakes the cakes in the morning and then lets them rest for the night and then he frosts them the neXt morning so that it’s ready for his customers)

unfortunately he didn’t have any confetti cake so instead he replaced it with plain vanilla cake and then in the blue frosting he threw in a whole handful of sprinkles

and the buttercream frosting is easy to make because he makes them by the buCket so all he had to do was dump food dye in it

and he knows about your time limit so he’s working as quickly as possible

he really wants to strike up a conversation with you but a) he needs to focus and b) for some reason he can’t seem to turn his usual boyish charm on with you because you seem so… delicate?

and you seem to have calmed down from earlier

you’re still working through the chocolate mousse cake and-

jin’s lips press together in a poor attempt to suppress his smile when he notices whipped cream on the corner of your mouth

you seem to be enjoying the cake which is a good thing

“this whipped cream is like, really good-“ you look over at jin (you asked for his name when he first started putting the cake together and just like that the name of his bakery suddenly made sense) ((and now that you think about it it’s actually a pretty clever name so braVo to him!!)) “what brand is it from?”

“oh, it’s- i actually make my own whipped cream, so it’s my own recipe.” jin smiles proudly and stands up a little straighter

“what do you put in here that makes it so good??” you wonder out loud as you scrape some off the top of the cake before sucking it off your pointer finger

“it’s easy, i pretty much just-“ jin suddenly stops whipping the frosting before narrowing his eyes at you playfully “actually, that’s for me to know and for you to nEver find out. how do i know you’re not from some rival bakery??”

“-if i was from a rival bakery i think i’d probably be able to make this cake on my own. instead i came to you and started crying when you said you were closed for the night.” you raise a brow before narrowing your eyes baCk at jin

“touché.” jin snorts as he starts to pipe the message on the top of the cake “so, um-“ he clears his throat and glances over at you briefly “this yoongi - he’s your boyfriend, you said?”

“yoongi?” you laugh lightly before shaking your head, “no, no way. yoongi is not my boyfriend. god, that’d be…. nO, yoongi is not my boyfriend.” you wipe your mouth with a napkin before dropping it on the plate

“right, right- and namjoon is-“

“namjoon is dEFINitely not my boyfriend- i don’t have a boyfriend, so-“ you lean back against the chair as you watch jin slowly piping out yoongi’s name

“ah, i see, i see.” jin nods in understanding

a moment of silence goes by

…he doesn’t know how to continue this conversation

when did he get so awKWARd at flirting????

maybe if he tries to sell you a box of cupcakes like he did with those tourists he’ll become charming again

“do you have a- is there, like, a mrs sweet kimfecjins-“

…and it’s just hitting him that yoU seem to be just as awkward as him when it comes to subtle flirting

“well, if you play your cards right you might just end up with that title, darling.”

your cheeks immEDiately go bright red and jin can’t help but smirk to himself

he’s still got it

“thank you so much for doing this at the last minute, you’re a literal life saver-“ you gush as you dig through your purse for your wallet

there are approximately 18 minutes left until the clock strikes niNE so if you drive as crazily as you did when getting hEre then you should make it back to the party before namjoon gets the chance to bite your head off

“oh, you know what?” jin shakes his head as he makes sure the cake is secure in the box “you can just take the cake - i feel like you’ve been through enough, so this one’s on me.”

“what?? no, i can’t do that to you! it’s such a nice cake!! i can’t just take it-“

“how about-“ jin stops you before you can get into another one of your five minute rambles (you seem to do that a lot) “how about in return for the cake, you let me take you out on a date?”

you blink owlishly at him and jin beams when he sees colour rising to the apples of your cheeks once again

“you- you want to take me out on a date?”

“the journey to becoming mrs sweet kimfecjins has to start somEwhere-“ jin jokes lightly before shaking his head “if you don’t want to, that’s totally fine, but i’m still going to give you the cake on the hous-“

“no, i want to!” you blurt out a little toO enthusiastically before clearing your throat and rEELing it way back “i mean- yeah, a date sounds nice… or whatever.”

“or whatever?” jin teases as he slides the box over to you “i wrote my cell number on the back of the receipt, so… text me, or whatever. let me know when you’re free and we can sort something out.”

good lord

jin seems to know the way to a woman’s stomach aND her heart

‘i scrape fresh vanilla beans into the whipped cream - that’s what makes it so yummy! there’s also another ingredient but i’ll tell you what it is on our date. see you soon, darling. -your favourite very super unbelievably handsome baker, jin’

help me help you make your wishes come tru (aka send me a request)

requested drabbles masterlist

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narumi-gens · 4 years ago

Note

hi!! so i just started writing fanfics, and i was just wondering -- how do you deal w/ numbers and the whole posting online thing? while i know that i should be writing for fun and stuff (bc it is!) and that im literally JUST starting out, BUT i just.. im someone who really heavily relies on validation, and when people don't really respond to my works well (or at all), i kinda just.. feel bad ): idk.. do u have any tips?

🥺 You came to me for advice on this, anon? 🥺 Thank you so much! I’m more than happy to pass on what I’ve learned and help out a new writer. I’ve been reading/writing fanfics on-and-off in some form or another for like ten years, but especially over the last four and am happy to share some tips. There are five main things that I think can help grow your follower count and the amount of feedback you get:

Don’t feel bad about wanting validation.

Consider the platforms where you post.

Write for active fandoms and popular characters.

Post frequently.

Interact with other authors.

This got rather long so I have more info under the cut about each of these.

1. Don’t feel bad about wanting validation.

There’s this dumb trap that we all fall into as writers that tells us that validation isn’t important and that what matters most is our love of writing. While I enjoy writing, if my stuff got no notes and no feedback then I would definitely have gotten discouraged and quit writing awhile ago. Why would I put all that effort into something if no one seems to appreciate it? There’s nothing bad about wanting people to let you know they like your writing! I get so happy when I see someone left a comment on one of my fics or went crazy in the tags or sent me an ask. And when something doesn’t get any feedback, I get depressed about it and second guess whether I should have bothered writing it. So, definitely try not to get caught up feeling bad because you want people to tell you that they liked your work. 💕

2. Consider the platforms where you post.

I only use AO3 and Tumblr, so I can’t speak to any other platforms, but posting my writing on both of these are widely different experiences. Part of the culture of AO3 is giving kudos and leaving comments, so you’re more likely to get feedback there than anywhere else. I slowly built a following on Tumblr because of my AO3, even when I wasn’t posting anything on Tumblr itself. I would really recommend checking out AO3 if you’re not already on there! You do need to request an invitation, but it only took me a couple of days to receive one. I also have 8 invitations that I haven’t sent out, so DM me if you want one and I can give you one!

I’m sure you’ve already seen posts about this, but the unfortunate thing about writing on Tumblr is that the feedback is absolutely minuscule and I’m not sure why. There’s this awful culture on this platform of people only liking content and not reblogging it to make sure it gets shared with other users. So, you end up really reliant on your own followers and the tagging system for your works to reach people. And the tagging system is a mixed bag. Sometimes your posts don’t show up in the tags or they will but only after a couple of days. If your post gets enough notes then it might go to the top of the search feed but then only for a few days at most.

As a sidenote to readers, this is why reblogging is so important! Even if you only have five followers or don’t leave a comment, just reblogging it means a lot to content creators!

Here are some of the tips I have for the mechanics of Tumblr:

Use the tagging system, as imperfect as it is. I think Tumblr now reads the first 20 tags in your post, so use that to your benefit. I usually always tag at least: [character name]; [character name x reader]; [fandom]; [fandom x reader]. You can always also try things like: [character name genre], [fandom genre], [fandom fanfic], [character fanfic] as well.

Make sure your blog is easy to navigate and have a masterlist that’s easy to find. If a reader sees your content on their dash and decides to check out your other works, if they can’t find them on your blog then they’ll probably just leave.

Self-reblog as much as you feel you need to for your followers who may have missed your post. I self-reblog a lot for new content over the first couple of days and then even will do a few icymi self-reblogs later as well. It also helps to have a list in your profile somewhere of your recent updates so people can easily see if they’ve missed something.

3. Write for active fandoms and for popular characters.

This might seem like common sense, but I think it’s something to keep in mind if you want to grow your follower count and your chances of getting feedback. And there’s nothing wrong with prioritizing a fic over another just because you want more feedback. I actually really want to write something for Chainsaw Man but the fandom is so small compared to the other fandoms I write for that I’m putting it on hold until the anime comes out.

That’s not to discourage you from writing for characters or fandoms that are less popular -- I have a bad habit of writing for niche characters and fandoms. But I always see my activity spike when I write for more popular characters. Another tip is to try and figure out which characters people are thirsting over but where there’s a lack of fics for them. You’ll also find that some characters or fandoms just have louder fans than others. The stuff I’ve written for Gojo has gotten a lot of likes and notes, but not so many comments or much feedback. But the amount of asks and thirsts I’ve gotten for Naoya is wild. This is something you’ll learn over time as you keep writing!

4. Post frequently.

This one is annoying because writers have lives and real-world responsibilities and we can’t just write 24/7. But when you’re trying to build a following, even if you can do a couple of short drabbles a week, you’ll really start to see your follower count and feedback grow. I’m not sure if people tend to like longer or shorter fics more, but overall people are just hungry for content and if you can give it to them on a frequent or at least regular basis then they’re more likely to interact, especially if you’re taking requests.

But don’t prioritize writing and posting content at the cost of your own well-being. As authors we’re all guilty of this at one time or another, but your followers will understand if you have writer’s block or you need to take a step back! Taking care of yourself is more important than getting feedback or interaction. ❤️

5. Interact with other authors.

Building relationships with other authors is a big one, but it’s also probably the hardest because a lot of us (me included!) are just so shy about reaching out! It’s like asking someone on a date or trying to be friends with someone you really admire. I know it’s scary to come off of anon (I still sometimes send asks on anon!), but authors recognize the names we see often in our notes and in our inboxes and we’re all really nice, I promise! 🥰 And I’m much more likely to read the fics of my mutuals and the people I follow than I am to be searching through the tags.

And I think there’s nothing wrong with reaching out to an author you love and politely asking if they’ll read your work. I think it’s totally okay to send something like, “I really love your writing and wanted to know if it’s alright if I share this fic I just posted with you? I’ve seen you thirsting over [character] and think you might like it if you have the time to read it!” The worst they can do is turn you down. I would never be upset over getting an ask like that as long as it was polite and the person was understanding that I might not have time to read their fic. But, I know that this is really scary to ask of someone. I’ve only done it once or twice, so maybe I don’t have any ground to stand on here, but I really think you should try it even if you need to send the ask on anon first.

Please just be mindful of an author’s rules before reaching out.

Another added bonus is that authors are more likely to reblog and give you feedback on the stuff you write because we’re in the exact same boat as you! We’re the perfect audience.

And don’t forget...

Growing your follower count and reaching the level of feedback you want takes time. If you’re just starting out, don’t get discouraged. The more you write, the better you get so even if you’re not getting the feedback you want now, that doesn’t meant that you never will!

And of course, pay it back in kind. Just how you want people to interact with your fics, we want the same. I always try to leave comments on the fics I read on AO3 and always reblog the fics I like on Tumblr and try to go wild in the tags so that the author knows that I loved their works.

I hope you found all of this useful, anon! Best of luck with your writing! 💕

#Anonymous #writing advice #fanfiction #writing tips #fanfic tips #useful stuff

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gemsofgreece · 4 years ago

Note

Sorry in advance if I use terms poorly, but I have a burning question I was hoping to get your 'insider' perspective on: Why is Greece called...Greece? Do you know where the word 'Greece' came from and when/why it gained global popularity? I ask because I know that official things (abroad, at least) to do with Greece usually use whatever appropriate variant of the word 'Hellene' is (ie; Hellenic Bank, instead of Greek Bank). The two words sound so far apart! Many thanks in advance!

Don’t worry, you used the terms fine! This is actually something people frequently wonder about and so I had already made the post “The Names of the Greeks” where I think you’ll find the answer. There I explain the origin of both the names “Hellenes” and “Greeks” and several others as well, because yeah we had more throughout the ages!

But in order to give you a short and more specific answer to your exact question here:

Both the names Greek and Hellene are of Ancient Greek origin. They initially started as names of specific groups of Greeks. The Greeks were the citizens of the city Graea in the region of Central Greece and the very first Hellenes lived where Epirus and Thessaly meet. The name Greek precedes the 9th Century BC, the name Hellene is even older.

Around the 8th Century BC, groups of Greeks from Graea emigrated and settled to South Italy and they retained that name. So, the Romans first met the Greeks Greeks out of all Greeks (lol) and used that name for all the Greeks (does that sentence make sense?). Of course what I mean by that is that they called the Greeks “Graeci” from the greek “Γραικοί” (Ghraeki). “Greek” is the English version of “Graecus”. Through Latin, the name Greek expanded to all Europe and the western world and that’s why the vast majority of western nations call us with a variant of Greek.

Meanwhile, not the same was happening amongst Greeks themselves. Before the end of the 8th Century BC, the name Hellene had expanded and was used by all the Greeks to call themselves. So the main difference between them is simply what is the most popular term in the Latin and the Greek language respectively. That’s why as you correctly pointed out it’s the Hellenic Republic, the Hellenic Bank, Hellas etc etc etc. Because these are our official names, the ones chosen by us. The official name of the country is Hellas but it’s so much more common to know and use Greece abroad in your everyday speech.

Throughout the centuries, both the names temporarily fell out of use and then got revived again and even took occasionally a positive or a negative meaning. For example, at the rise of Christianity, “Hellene” started being avoided because it got the meaning of idolatrous. Roughly during the Fall of the Byzantine Empire, the Ottoman rule and ever since really, the name “Greek” has been occasionally used in a derogatory way by westerners as to point out the gap that separates us from the enlightened Ancient Hellenes. You see, westerners have always been a tad too opinionated. Despite the name being used with pride up until the Independence by the Greeks themselves, this has sort of passed to the Greek conscience since then and many still worry that the name is derogatory. This is entirely false.

Both are ancient names and Greek. Etymologically, Greek means “person that comes from the old place” (because Graea means she-old, referring to the old city) and consequently Greece also technically means old. While it is not certain about Hellene, it probably means “person of light” according to studies and Hellas consequently technically means “(land of the people) of light” .

The reason why we now prefer Hellene over Greek is not clear to me. Maybe because Greeks historically almost always preferred the name “Hellene” . Maybe because the use of “Hellene” makes clearer the connection with our heritage. Maybe because of its possible meaning which is cooler. Maybe because it simply sounds better! IDK probably all these together

But both names are equal and good and correct and interchangeable.

I promised a short answer and this ended up like the post I suggested above I don’t know how I always do that. I still recommend the post, it provides much more info. For reference, most eastern nations call us a variant of the name Ionians...

#greece #greek #greeks #greek history #ancient greece #greek language #latin #bluespiritfire #ask #mail

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fluffynexu · 5 years ago

Text

Astralignment

and the Korribani Calendar System

Before the arrival of the Exiles the native Sith on Korriban had their own system of keeping track of time. Over the years, this became standardized and refined and is still in use by a large portion of the modern Pureblood community. Since the ancient Sith were observant beings of their world, many of the names and symbols reflected their natural environment. All of these aspects go into what is known as a Sith’s astralignment (astro-alignment).

Since the Empire runs on Imperial Standard Time (IST), anything relating to Korriban or any other Imperial world is referred by the local time of that planet.

Compare a year on Dromund Kaas to Korriban:

Dromund Kaas (everything in standard)

24 hours/day

312 days/year

7,488 hours/year

60 minutes = 1 hour

24 hours = 1 day

5 days = 1 week

7 weeks = 1 month

35 days = 1 month

8 months (+4 weeks and 4 holidays) = 1 year

312 (standard)days = 1 year

Korriban

28 (standard) hours/day

780 (local) days/year

21,840 (standard) hours/year

70 (standard and local) minutes = 1 hour

24 (local) hours = 1 day

10 (local) days = 1 week

6.5 (local) weeks = 1 month

65 (local) days = 1 month

12 (local) months = 1 year

780 (local) days = 1 year

This roughly makes 1 Korribani year approximately 2.9 [Dromund] Kaasi years.

Calendars

The days on Korriban are annotated on some versions of the Imperial calendar alongside the standard days.

In this example, names of the days on the calendar reflect the IST. The black numbers indicate the date in IST, the red numbers represent the date of the Korribani calendar. Placement of the Korribani date indicate when that day begins in relation to the Kaasi one.

A. 00:00 is the same for both. B. 00:00 K starts at 04:00 DK. C. 00:00 K starts at 08:00 DK. D. 00:00 K starts at 12:00 DK. E. 00:00 K starts at 16:00 DK. F. 00:00 K starts at 20:00 DK. G. Loops back around and 00:00 K lines up 00:00 DK .

While seemingly complicated to some, most Sith have grown with this system of overlapping calendars and can easily tell the date by the positioning of the numbers in this format.

There are of course, electronic versions where the date is shown simply:

Since the Korribani month is longer than the Kaasi one, the dates will continue through the Kaasi months. These next two pictures show how long 1 Korribani month is in relation to a Kaasi one.

There is also a version of the Korribani calendar that does not overlap with IST. These are used locally on the planet.

The days of the Korribani week were named after major gods from the most widespread pantheon on the planet:

Ahmuriq, from Ahmurn: the creator god.

Marseriq, from Marserha: mother goddess of the Sith.

Bashariq, from Bashara: goddess of passion.

Teraiq, from Teral: god of protection and justice.

Iskarliq, from Iskarln: god(dess) of conflict and war.

Marduriq, from Mardur: patron god of the Massassi and strength.

Rusaniq, from Rusanel: goddess of knowledge.

Zefiriq, from Zefir: goddess of the hunt.

Shumariq, from Shumari: god of the harvest.

Goruiq, from Gorul: the trickster god(dess).

Months

There are numerous constellations in the Korribani sky. Twelves of these mark the months of the year as well as going into the astalignment. The 12 major, monthly constellations all depict local fauna from ancient fables and have certain characteristics that are commonly associated with them.

1. Yuninchâtsutuyok, the jiminat and agzonûboj engaged in eternal conflict. Dedicated, ambitious, and insightful.

2. Qyalatuyok, the qyalak. Calm, sentimental, and inquisitive.

3. Badzuriqatuyok, the badzuriqash. Tenacious, practical, and direct.

4. Kaarjontuyok, the kaarjontû. Spontaneous, contemplative, and observant.

5. Tukatatuyok, the tukata. Loyal, respectful, and staunch.

6. Hatyatuyok, the hatya. Articulate, perceptive, and adaptable.

7. Lomaituyok, the lomait. Disciplined, fearless, and competitive.

8. Dzushatuyok, the dzushaj. Private, calculating, and flexible.

9. Mowhetuyok, the mowhef. Stern, traditional, and ruthless.

10. Dyaltituyok, the dyaltir. Mischievous, studious, and charismatic.

11. Jhan’dikanatuyok, the lost dikana. Creative, sociable, and resourceful.

12. Niqoituyok, the niqoit. Erudite, cunning, and free-spirited.

Years

The years are also represented by local animals. No one, not even Sith scholars or historians, are sure of the origin of how these animals came to represent the years on Korriban’s calendar. It is one of the many parts of Sith culture that have been lost since it is believed this particular record has been passed down through oral tellings.

The years are kept track of in a 6-year cycle with each year emphasizing a likely success for the ones born in that year.

Chiroik - Wealth

Wokinai - Knowledge

Natûsh - Fame

Dzenal - Influence

Litskoj - Power

Sulemish - Longevity

(ie. Those born in the year of the Sulemish will have a long life.) This again factors into a Sith’s astralignment.

In addition to the years, these 6 animals are also used for the hours on Korriban. But time is not conveyed in the same manner as Basic. While in Basic one would simply say “14:25” (or two twenty-five in the afternoon) the Sith have a much more involved way to convey time.

For example: Shyracks screech and return to their caves as the priestess prepares the altar in the hour of the wokinai.

Translates to: 07:15 local time (or seven fifteen in the morning).

As a side note, a few centuries ago Darth Feras domesticated and bred wrats within the Empire. At first they weren’t seen with much interest by her peers. But popular rumor has it that she pointed out her creations embody the physical traits of the yearly beasts.

Eyes - Chiroik

Ears - Wokinai

Body - Natûsh

Hands - Dzenal

Feet - Litskoj

Tail - Sulemish

Afterwards they quickly became a favored pet and companion among the Sith, being seen as an auspicious animal.

While not related to their calendar there is a tradition of being assigned a birth flower. For this, the Sith do not look to their skies but rather, when a child is born the placenta is buried in a pot with 12 seeds. The first of these seeds to sprout becomes that Sith’s birth flower. These 12 flowers are also used in medicine, therapeutic or preventive, for some common ailments.

Serla for headaches.

Roshal for good eyesight.

Nashkir for sore throats.

Atsudqâ for heart health.

Hyaranjat for good digestion.

Mûyoin for muscle pain.

Shasâyar for fertility.

Jûzon for blood circulation.

Ashanin for bone mending.

Qoyo for fevers.

Chisiqsanu for irritated ridge skin.

Kûsk’inti for fatigue and replenishing energy.

The last two parts that go into a Sith’s astalignment are their energies. The weekly energies correspond with 4 classic “elements” of earth, fire, air, and water. While the daily energy simply refers to day or night (d/n) in regards to when the person was born.

Combined with all aspects mentioned in this document, year, month, weekly energy, day (+energy), and flower, one can study a Sith’s astalignment. ex. Darth Vowrawn’s astalignment factors:

The study of these astralignments is a complicated field on to its own while the findings can be very important to some among the Sith. There are specialized scholars who offer their services to the old families so that the “perfect matches” (marriage, business, or otherwise) can be set up.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

aaaaahhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT’S DONE. i feel like frodo at mt. doom after the ring is destroyed omg... ;-;

SOOOO. i wanted, and i mean REALLY wanted, to finish this for lunar new year (for pretty obvious reasons lol)...... :,) welp. then i was like “i can do may 4″ lol NOPE. but here we are! still technically sith day? whatever. imma say I Did It. :D

also pls don’t laugh at my stupid drawings. i already know i can’t art. ok??? >,<

special thanks to @snootysith for giving me a bunch of sithy names and words for me to use. c: like y’all... coming up with fake words, that look and sound ok is really HARD (for my dumbass anyway)

other worldbuilding posts that are... sorta mentioned/used in this:

@inquisitorhotpants‘s dk calendar

BOOS! x3

and some other stuff ....

but uh, yea. if you’re wondering “hang on there fluffy... did you really make a big, dumbass zodiac/astrology post??” the answer is...

yes.

yes i did... xU

but also i imagine the ancient sith had a lot of special and important dates for you know... religious things? *shrug* and over the many, many years all of this was passed down and prob altered in some way to fit into modern sith society? idk...

now imma say some things here bc i know For A Fact!!! that ppl don’t go onto original posts to read op tags on this hellsite lol.

and this isn’t me trying to sound like an arrogant asshole... but these are for some common questions that’ll undoubtedly come up:

yes, you can use this in any extent or manner.

no, you obvs don’t have to. ignore it if you want. i’ll be ok lol.

no, i’m not gonna write a long ass book with all the little details on every aspect of all the traits and then assign these things for your character(s). just make something up. that’s what i did here xD (plus my brain is d e a d from this)

yes, this is seen as a mostly(!) tomato pureblood sith thing but obvs attitudes are different between individuals. some are super into it, some could careless and think it’s all fake news, some have parents that care too much about it which is annoying and interfering with their life so they lowkey hate it lol.

no, i couldn’t do a read more bc it wouldn’t look as nice and i worked hard ok? ;-; i apologize for clogged dashes in advance.

i think that’s it? ofc feel free to hmu if you’re ok with a reply that can take anywhere from a few min to 3 business days ^-^;

#swtor #sith pureblood #sith warrior #sith inquisitor #y'all know how surprisingly hard it is to make constellations???#like...#DX #they have to look like the thing and i had to know what that Thing was #but also! have you seen rl constellations??#they don't look like The Thing at all!#so i had to make it kinda abstract? idfk #now if you'll excuse me #i'm off to be a completely unproductive member of the fandom again #:')#worldbuilding #long post

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puppy-phum · 4 years ago

Note

For the "opinions on a character" game: Pangzi!

oh damn i never expected to get my aries pal pangzi for this but!! i am so happy i did ;; finally i get to think about him a bit more!! i always feel like there’s no space for that when pingxie are just so intense (also fyi this is my second time writing this damn answer bc tumblr threw me off the page just as i was finishing this the first time and i am so pissed gaaahh am sorry)

give me a character

(placing under a cut! bc apparently i have much to say about him after all)

How I feel about this character

Pangzi always gives me some conflicted feelings. There is so much good in him and I adore him for many of his qualities. He’s caring, confident, funny, strong, unapologetically emotional and affectionate with the people he loves. He’s also such a dad and I love that for him. I want to go outside and travel with him and drink something and eat his cooking and joke with him and sing karaoke very badly and then fall asleep on an old couch happy and safe. I want to see him at his shop, selling stuff and rambling about antiques. I want to hang out with him. Learn stuff from him. Maybe practice some pyromania. You know, the usual Pangzi stuff.

But then all the bad stuff comes in and… I think I’m going to talk about this later but let me just say that Pangzi has been the hardest one to grasp out the Iron Triangle. He just keeps changing so much between the different dramas. There is always that certain essence to him that is very Pangzi but he keeps getting different layers with different actors. There are these tiny details that make me look at him in a different way every time he gains a “new face” for himself. I enjoy it but it also puzzles me. He’s not as easy a character as I first thought when I got introduced to him through Reboot. He is complex. He is surprising. He is very interesting. And that just makes me very fascinated by him. He’s a great person, once he grows into it.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

I haven’t really given much thought to Pangzi’s love life. I’ve mostly just grimaced when it comes to his random crushes while they travel in search of new tombs because most of those are very cringe (or worse). But I did adore him with PiaoPiao in Reboot. Those two were just simply lovely, and all their scenes together made me incredibly fond. I felt warm within their love. I felt like Pangzi belonged there, with this woman who he had known since he was a kid and who he came to protect so fiercely. It suited him. Being with PiaoPiao felt perfect for him. And for the first time, his feelings got returned! He got loved back (even if PiaoPiao had some other plans there). He got to actually be in love. Their date scene in season 2 lives in my head rent-free. I was crying out of happiness. I miss them, and Pangzi would’ve deserved to have that and not just the kid he can’t even adopt now but won’t abandon anyway.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Oh boy, there are a lot of relationships when it comes to Pangzi because he’s such a social butterfly. He knows everybody. He’s friendly (or enemies, there’s no in between) with everybody. And I adore how different drama adaptations have given different takes on all these relationships (or added completely new ones). Because through that, I’ve gotten to see the awesomeness that is Pangzi with people like Xiao Hua, Hei Xiazi, Xiuxiu, Kanjian, Liu Sang, Huo Daofu, Bai Haotian and the whole of Desperado Fam in Reboot. He is amazing when it comes to people.

But, above all else, is the Iron Triangle. Because how can I talk about Pangzi without mentioning his two best bros? They are just so good. I love that trio so much. And every time I think about them, I just have to say that am absolutely euphoric over the fact that they found each other in this world. And in what way? Bonkers. What are the chances even, to just suddenly bump into each other in a Mongolian desert and then come to realize that hey, you will be bumping into each other a lot for the rest of your lives? Less than zero, probably. But they did it! I am so happy for them. They deserve to have all their lazy retirement days.

Because, at the end of it, Iron Triangle just works. And especially Pangzi, as the heart of this triangle, makes me so emotional because emotions are his thing. That’s just what he does. He cares about all their emotions. He makes sure that they can relax and have food and comfort and warmth and a home and nice things to do when they have the time for it. He makes sure that Wu Xie doesn’t just lose it every other second and that Xiaoge knows that he’s allowed to be human under all his pain. He’s there to make them laugh (and to able Pingxie’s shenanigans like a pro). He’s there offering hugs and affection and smiles. He sings. He fills the silence. He’s – Pangzi is just an amazing friend (and I really think Pingxie need to give their thanks to him after all these years of Pangzi suffering through their idiot gay bullshit. He’s very tired, I can see that).

I’ve been so happy that the latest dramas have given us so many good moments related to both of these relationships Pangzi has with his best friends. Because, as much as I adore them together as a trio, I am overjoyed when I get to see Pangzi with either Wu Xie or Xiaoge. Reboot gave us him with Wu Xie; their old married couple life in their tiny apartment, just showing the best platonic love I can imagine. Zhu Yilong and Chen Minghao really aced that (Chen Minghao is my favorite actor for Pangzi in general, he just really captures that character so well, be it in Reboot or Sand Sea). And then in Ultimate Note, we get to see Pangzi with Xiaoge; joking together and being affectionate and showing how much they care about each other under all the “bickering” (quotation marks because well, Xiaoge doesn’t say much). That was so amazing to watch. I am so thankful. The Iron Triangle feels much more complete now and my love for them overflows. I could write novels about them but for now, am stopping here.

My unpopular opinion about this character

I really don’t know if this is popular or unpopular but it’s an opinion! Related to the foreshadowing in the first part. So here goes:

Pangzi as a character manages to be a bit of a dick towards women.

At least sometimes. Because as I said, he gives me very conflicted emotions. All of this might be tied to the writing (and the inconsistency of it between the different dramas) and to the fact that NPSS treats the women of DMBJ like shit, but it is Pangzi who portrays such behavior the most. He has some of these very questionable lines or comments towards women, and like I said, even his love interests are quite… random. Controversial? Because I am not very into him trying to hit on some young girls all the time. That is creepy. Please don’t ruin him like this. He already suffers from the fact that all his love interests just die, and the whole of DMBJ’s women suffer from that too. We don’t want to see women dying for some male character’s development. I am sick of that, and Pangzi deserves to be his wonderful self.

Which brings me to the fact that he does redeem himself quite often. I think his comments mostly bothered me in The Lost Tomb where he said some things to A-Ning. After that, he’s been better? I remember loving him a lot in Explore With the Note because he had this whole new feeling to him. He was so carefree and cool. I love that one mirror scene in the Underwater Tomb where he is just “combing” his hair and playing with that tiny scarf and looking pretty. That is the Pangzi I adore! That silly man who doesn’t care about things like idk gender. Because he would be iconic like that. He’d rather burn for equality than make stupid misogynistic comments on women. I trust this, especially when you look at him in Reboot. Maybe he has grown. Maybe that is how he changes? I have no idea. But please let him be amazing without these stupid mishaps that don’t even seem to fit his character hhhh

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon

I’ve already mentioned his relationship with PiaoPiao. I wish he could’ve kept that, it was so good for him ;; I will forever be bitter that they brought PiaoPiao into the drama just to treat her as a warning to Pangzi of what would happen if he dared to meddle with the “normal life” while still being in tomb raiding business. That was just stupid. Let them be happy together with their kid!!!! (Because I support Pangzi Dad Rights in this house)

Another thing would be: Let Pangzi be sad (tho this goes to many other characters too because DMBJ tends to rush over all the pain the characters feel in favor to get to the action). I know he gets a while in Ultimate Note to mourn Yun Cai but in Reboot, he basically never got to grieve PiaoPiao. I know their relationship didn’t get to develop very far but he was obviously in love with her! He cared about her! There were many things unsolved between them! He should’ve been allowed more time to be sad about it or just bringing it back up again. To be honest, I wish we saw Pangzi’s true emotions more often because he tends to just hide everything behind a joke. But well, the same goes, once again, for so many other characters too so I don’t know if I can really demand that from him. But I wish his emotions got their while too. That he got some more focus in the dramas. He deserves more than just stupid jokes or embarrassment (and I don’t even want to start about the stupid fat jokes).

thank you for sending me this ask!! i had so much fun trying to figure out pangzi in my head ^^ i hope you got something out of it! have a very lovely day ♥

#this is a pangzi appreciating house hold #but like there are things #that irk me about his characterization sometimes #but well this is what we have #thank you for the ask!!#dmbj #pangzi

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