#but i won't be posting a lot of this stuff here so yeah!

[medicinemane]

Can I just add to this when you find a thread by an actual person for something like "reduce Terra Invicta load times" (great game, long load times, I understand it but I'd like to know) and the response is someone being like "Just don't save scum, it's not a big deal waiting a minute or two if you just don't cheat like that"

Thanks buddy, not what I asked for

I fucking hate when you google some shit like "How to improve performance in video game" and then all Google gives you is a handful of shit-ass Games Journalist articles that somehow take like seven paragraphs that are all just like like "In order to improve performance in Video Game, go into "Settings" and set your Settings to Low"

Like fucking come on man what kind of sand-filled rock skull do you think I have? You think I'd be googling this if I hadn't already done that? Do you think I was born yesterday? You think I'm gonna alt+tab outta my shit, wait for Firefox to load, and then fucking Google how to improve my performance without checking my settings first? Do you think I'm fucking ten years old? Do you think I have no brain at all? Come the fuck on man

[genderqueerdykes]

So uhhhhh this might be a little weird but I have memory issues and this has been bugging me for a week... I'm pretty? sure I might have blocked you on an old account when some femboy discourse stuff was going here and left your server that you had at the time? Like I did finally confirm it was you we were remembering because I know I bought a pinkie pie kandi bracelet from you off etsy (not sure if before or after the disc horse, bc we're very much a "everyone deserves to be able to survive and should not lose access to support no matter what") which for the record we love.

And like it wasn't personal, at worst we may have made a vent post at the time bc it's an identity important to us and literally no judgement whatsoever

But the reason we're even bringing it up is that we kinda feel guilty for the block even though we know it's okay to block anyone at anytime for any reason, especially since now that we saw you feel differently we're just interacting like normal and stuff

which... tbf might be trauma-related ocd from some OTHER like actually really bad internet Tumblr discourse stuff but yeah uh. I think it would help to apologize even if it's not necessary, because that's been a healthy coping mechanism for us in the past (not a compulsive one, the compulsion is more "you should never talk to them again bc you're evilbad and they don't deserve to have to interact with you") so uh, we're sorry and we think you're cool and would love to interact more and be friends (if that's not overly parasocial ahhhh x'D)

hey, that's okay, you're allowed to block people for your own safety. i don't keep track of who does and doesn't have me blocked. if someone wants to block me, that's their right, it don't take it personally. you do not have to apologize for blocking me at any point. that's not something you ever have to apologize to someone for, but i totally get why you would want to do that to give yourself some form of closure. that makes sense to me

i understand why you would've blocked over that. when i was running that server, i was friends with some very aggressive people who were adamant on policing the usage of the word femboy, so i apologize that things got so shitty about that. other staff members that were involved were very, very pushy and i ended up feeling extremely alienated from that server because i found myself disagreeing with a lot of the rules that got put into place. i especially started feeling uncomfortable because other staff members were very transandrophobic and it was causing me a lot of self hatred for being a trans man at the time. that discord server was not good for my mental health, which is why i stopped interacting with it before leaving altogether.

it took me a while to realize i did not agree with those people and that the fighting over who "gets" to use the term is so fucking petty and stupid, but i see it now and that shit was dumb. i can see why you would've been upset and left and blocked over that. at the time, plenty of people were mad about it and they had every right to be. i wasn't treating certain people right. i left that server a while back because i just got so tired of how it was being run and did not have the energy to try to rectify it due to homelessness and housing insecurity at the time. it was way too authoritarian in terms of who was allowed to identify as certain terms for me to continue to give it my stamp of approval. it was like, the exact opposite of what i wanted in a queer discord server.

thank you, though, i appreciate it. i know that this won't make the thoughts stop but you truly are allowed to block whoever you want or need to for your own safety. it's not a personal attack on them. it's a way to prevent unnecessary conflict. i fully believe in blocking when and where necessary. i block when i need to, too. but thank you so much, i appreciate it. i apologize for how shitty i was in the past about people using that term. i got pulled into the wrong crowd and i'm very glad i'm not a part of that anymore.

you're more than welcome to send a DM, and i'm glad you still like the bracelet! that must've been quite a while ago, i hope it's still holding up well! if you ever need any repairs or anything, let us know :)

[void1finder]

Hey @salemlunaa or anyone else reading this post i have like a genuine question.

So what you said basically implied that

1) my friend gets into the void

2) they manifest for me

3) but it won't happen for me , but it will happen to them because "they shift into a reality where i manifest easily"

So for example it happens that my friend enters the void and they manifest for me. So for them i can easily enter the void and stuff but according to you it's not possible right

But how can they talk to me then, if they are in a new reality ?

Like how can they talk and communicate to a person who has not manifested even though in their reality they have.

(Side note i know it's kinda confusing what i am saying but bear with me)

I mean that lets say someone named Emma gets into the void and she helps her friend Maya.

But according to what you are saying that : "if a person tries to manifest for you they will shift into a reality where you have done it"

So you meant to say that maya gets nothing while emma has manifested for her?

How can it be possible that for Emma , maya has successfully manifested while for maya, Emma has manifested and she(maya) herself has not?

And literally every damn person in this community says that "anything is possible" Then why isn't manifesting for someone else possible?

And also i have seen that even in many void success stories people have manifested for others and it's not even just about the void if you see some subliminal results people have actually manifested stuff for their friends and stuff.

Also you guys were also into some chat gpt stuff so here is what AI said :

Also in the sense of manifesting i just don't refer to manifesting entering the void , a hell lot of other stuff too!

"Manifestation is not big or small"

Here are some proofs that manifestation for others is possible.

And even if you see in some tumblr sucess stories , people have manifested for others.

See in many "sucess stories" People have said that they have manifested their parents being rich, and good self concept for mom Or sister or something or maybe manifesting friends tumor away or stuff like that, i dont want to dive into the fact if those sucess stories are true or not what whatever you get the point right!

Also to those beautiful people from the void state pact DO NOT DOUBT YOURSELF.

Manifestation is 100% possible so yeah keep going!

Besides ik our belief system are not the same but sorry not sorry , no one has to be rude and say "oh your idea is stupid" hell nah dude it's not.

Until next time 🫡

[lycorisicecream]

Era, one of my sonas (and the last one)

[wellofdean]

got these tags today from prev: #i think it's beautiful bc it didn't set out to be queer#life uh finds a way#it's not the best television ever#like not legit among the greats#but it had some incredible moments

And like... I have made a LOT of posts, at great length saying why I think Dean was always imagined as a queer character, and where the queerness was baked into the DNA of the show from episode one, and which I will not reprise here, but as much as I disagree that the queer glory of Supernatural is something it tripped and fell into by accident somehow, and without everyone involved knowing that queerness was part of what they were making, I do agree with something here: it's beautiful because it was a fucking journey.

Supernatural was not like today's prestige television with a tight 8-10 episodes and a fully planned narrative from day one, it was old-timey TV that arose out of things like Twin Peaks and The X-Files, falling somewhere between a weekly procedural and a serial. It had broad plot arcs sketched out, but the day-to-day grind of writing and making it was driven by characters that took on depth and meaning as it went along; network television long seasons with lots of filler that did nothing to further the serial plot, but let us get to know the characters, who became more and more lovable and real the more time we spent with them, in an organic way.

Maybe my Gen-X is showing here, but there's something beautiful about something that feels open-ended, isn't there? I mean, Supernatural STILL feels open-ended. Like, any moment now patient zero Jensen is going to suit up and tell us more of Dean's story, and we won't know where it's going and it will be fucking GREAT just to spend any time whatsoever with Dean? Television nowadays feels so PLANNED and yeah, there's some great stuff out there, but Supernatural had something special and fucking great that doesn't really exist anymore.

Like, what does it mean "one of the best" or "legit among the greats"? Supernatural was 15 years of storytelling, and for all the fucking kvetching on this, the Supernatural website, about its vagaries, it was pretty consistently well written. Jensen Ackles is a legit great actor who is seriously underrated for his sheer fucking craft, and as much as it is undeniable that Supernatural has some genuinely silly episodes, taken as a whole, when all of it is in your mind, the themes and threads in it are unironically epic in scope, and it has legitimately interesting things to say about those themes. AND it has incredible moments. AND the most devastaingly romantic love story I can think of.

Like, fellas, it's one of the best TO ME. It's legit among MY greats, and I would argue it deserves a place up there.

I got this one hobby horse, and god knows I'm gonna saddle up and ride it: Supernatural was a legitimately good show and it was queer as hell in its very bones.

[thethingything]

I keep randomly remembering that the reason our brain is especially fucked and a bunch of our symptoms are worse right now is because of like, an avoidable external thing that's chemically affected our nervous system instead of either our symptoms flaring up on their own or some specific stressful event triggering it, and for some reason that keeps making us feel especially bad about it.

like our mental health being bad because of stressful stuff going on and our mental illnesses randomly flaring up both suck, but I can handle our brain just doing its own thing and/or reacting to what's going on around us.

but something about it being a medication that someone else prescribed that's changed the way our brain functions is significantly more distressing in a way I can't put into words properly. a lot of the symptoms we've got (apathy, brain fog, alexithymia, memory problems, etc) are very typical depression and dissociation symptoms, but they're like a weird version of them that feels very different to how we normally experience them.

the only way I can describe the difference in feeling is that it feels more "artificial" but I can't even really describe what I mean by that. if normal brain fog is looking out the window on a foggy day, this is looking out of a window that's been covered with those frosted vinyl sheets. you can't see shit either way, but the feeling is very different.

I just desperately want it to go away. I'm finding it hard to be enthusiastic about things I'm normally excited about no matter how bad our depression gets, and our usual coping mechanisms for getting our brain to register positive things aren't really working because it's not the same underlying mechanism.

it feels like any control I did have over our symptoms and anything I could do to help with them has been stripped away and all I can do is wait it out and hope it fixes itself, and the whole "being given a drug that changes how your brain functions and takes away your control over what your brain is doing" is pretty much the exact phobia I was trying to learn to figure out how to deal with before we get dental work done, and for the dental work it'd be like... idk probably an hour at most, whereas now I'm just stuck dealing with experiencing it 24/7 for an undetermined amount of time

[skrunksthatwunk]

still thinking about how one of my first yyh meta posts got reblogged onto an sjw cringe comp blog in the year of our woke 2022. truly tumblr dot com, the last bastion of progressivism, has fallen (<- sarcasm) and also i'm kinda baffled that they didn't choose like. me putting yusuke in a skirt or something

[enigma-absolute]

Today marks 10 years since I first really stepped into the Eddsworld fandom and went through an event with it.

But it also happened to be first anniversary of its creator's passing. This year marks the 10th.

I figured 13 year old me wouldn't want to feel alone in that moment, so I made this to join her and go through the flow together.

Without Edd and Eddsworld, I don't think I would've had that accessible foundation, can-do mindset and enthusiastic influence, admiration and desire to animate and make stories of my own. I was a year too late when I first entered into the fandom and heard about it, but these past 10 years taught me it's never too late to make an impact and tell your tales - no matter how long they'll take.

Thank you Edd Gould. For everything.

[after-nine-at-the-oasis]

A H PROMO TIME

Logically I know we probably won't see much/any of Carlos next week because recovery is too important to just be like one scene but still I can hope lol

I mean to just see a bit of it xD maybe TK will mention it though (I swear he better)

Anyway lol

Ooh hi Judd :D

XD I don't think we saw him at all today

I'll excuse it bc. yk. obviously XD, but I miss my boy <333

Oooh a fire okay okay 👀👀😬

Dang we focusing so much on this fire I'm thinking we won't get anything else xD

Rip to my Carlos hopes lol but also what about the rest of the episode xD

OPE Marjan 👀👀?

Ooohh noo

Ahh afraid of messing it up yeah o.o

Maybe because of scrutiny be that public or peer/employers 👀?

A A A A H H H H H H H WAIT WHAT RESIGNING?????!!?!!?

HOLD UP NOW

YOU CAN'T JUST THROW THAT AT ME WHAT THE H E C K

NOOOO NO NO NO NO NO YOU CAN'T DO THIS MARJAN

I mean she can but 😭 xD

AAAHHHHHH AND SOMEBODY RIDING AWAY

A H

N O

WHAT THE HECK

xDD

That's the last of my last thoughts. Now it's time for the. . .

REVIEW

A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H

Y'AAAALLLLLLLLLLL

THIS. EPISODE. WAS SO AMAZING 😭😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🥰🥰❤️

Okay okay xdd I got this y'all lol.

I absolutely loved loved LOVED this episode :DDDD. Dude, the ANGST 😭😭❤️❤️❤️👀!!! The drama, the searching, the referring to people as fiance 🥰🥰 (what I just love it okay xD), even Owen's storyline!! Especially the shortness of it XDD - no offense Owen. But I mean, we definitely got way more of the other one, as we should lol. I am glad there was another plot though, just because it would feel a little weird having an entire episode pretty much just following TK around. That makes it sound casual but yk xD. Also, it gives us time to stress lol, and makes it feel like more time has passed. Basically I just think it was needed for the flow :). Plus at least if Owen had to be not being there for his son, he wasn't stealing the spotlight XD. Anyway lol, absolutely amazing episode, just, stellar 😍😍.

WGHOOO holy crap xd

Y'all I am literally unsteady of my feet

Gasping shock from the promo and everything else and also just gasping in ~drama~ and like a billion things and all the feelings at once lol. I am not okay xdd.

But seriously for quite a while while (yes that's on purpose) I was catching up on my liveblogging I was like having shortness of breath man xD I was literally losing it lol

I still am but I'm gonna work on this for a little bit and then go eat dinner and take a break lol xdd. I do want to get it all done now but my hands and my brain (from having to word so much, and I don't mean that in a grammatically correct way, I just mean words man xD) are tired lol. Like I'm not out of words quite but I just feel like taking a break lol, since I was freaking out the whole time, during the episode (and typing for most of it), and I've been catching up for the past hour lol. So that's two hours of freaking out, trying to get everything, and stressing lol xD. So, I'mma do some of this (I actually already did and came back to add that I was unsteady since I meant to lol, I decided to say it here when it happened xD), and then come back later lol. I just need to destress for a bit I think, no matter how much I'd love to finish it now while my feelings are fresh XD. I need energy for the rest of the things I have to do tonight lol. But, I will be coming back :).

Now, onto the individual parts lol.

So xD. I think I'm just gonna do like, the 126, Grace, Owen (including O'Brien), and then of course Tarlos ft. Gabriel XDD. Alright, let's get into it lol.

The 126!! My babeys 🥰🥰🥰🥰. I loved them so much :'DDD. We didn't get to see much of them, but at least we got that entire scene with TK in the beginning 🥰🥰🥰. We got to see their siblingism lol, in the teasing aspect of that xD, but we also saw them supporting TK, which was really nice :'DD. Even a splash of Nanteo, lol xD! Plus of course Nancy and TK siblingism specifically 🥰🥰🥰. Anyway, we didn't see much of them, and I do miss them, but I loved this storyline (including in the past few episodes) so I'll allow it lol <333. And continuing on, despite the fact that we didn't see them much this episode, they were amazing :DD. I love them all with my whole heart 🥰🥰🥰. Oh and Judd I miss you 😭😭😭❤️🥰 XD. Luckily he will be coming back to us next week lol <333. Anyway, in short, I love them <3333.

Grace!! We love our girl 🥰🥰. She was amazing finding all the stuff on Carlos :D. Especially considering it was illegal xD. At first at least, but I assume it was still illegal later lol. Anyway, she was awesome as always 🥰🥰. Plus her comforting TK 😭😭❤️🥰 >>>. Like, that little "I'm sorry baby" or something similar 😭🥺❤️. Ik that's something she says, "baby" I mean, but it just :'))) she loves him your honor <333. Anyway yeah, her 😭😭🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰❤️❤️😍❤️. I love her <3333.

Owen! Owennn. My mannn. SIR. ANSWER YOUR PHONE WHEN YOUR SON CALLS!!! Okay like I know he was dealing with terrorism and the FBI and everything and I get that, and genuinely it is a good excuse lol, but I'm still mad xD. Still, it'll make for angst down the line :D. Anyway, besides that lol, I did actually really enjoy Owen's storyline today :)). I mentioned to someone earlier today how I was laughing a lot last week despite it being about a kidnapping, but that I'd probably be laughing less at this one (and that it was also a kidnapping lol). And I mean, I was, but I was still laughing lol xD. Besides panicked laughing basically at myself lol. Mostly going "I'M FINE :))))" with a bit of laughing xD. But my point is lol, Owen's storyline provided some laughs XD. Bc I mean, he provides some great jokes xD. Also, while I was definitely way more exciting for the other storyline's scenes, I still enjoyed Owen's :). Like I said earlier, it was necessary for the flow.

Anyway, YESS! I'm glad O'Brien isn't actually one of them - I don't think they'll pull another twist on us, so I think it'll stay this way lol. And even though it was funny sometimes, I'm glad we're done with the under-coverness. In and out and in and out - it's just simpler now. Now, I genuinely thought (or maybe I just hoped, but I think I thought lol) that they would be suspecting O'Brien and not Owen, but then that guy kept on talking lol. And honestly, c'mon Owen, the one time you don't wanna fight? But nah xD, it was the smart thing to do lol. I'm also glad that we're (or Owen is at least) getting along a bit better with O'Brien. It's not like we (why am I saying we lol) were necessarily on bad terms, but Owen and him were finding things in common, and honestly they've kinda been through it xD. I think he'll be useful in the future :). And I really do hope they find his nephew - and that he's not the bomb maker. But I wouldn't exactly be surprised if he is, you know? I mean, maybe I will be in the heat of the moment, depending on how much it was hinted at, but still. It would suck (like :( not >:/), but it would be interesting 👀.

Anyway, I'm a bit dreading the storyline of that person targeting Owen because of Owen being the center of attention, but also, I'm excited for it :). Especially since, even if they're not directly targeted for being related (not literally in all except TK's case) to Owen, the others will be affected by it too :). I'm assuming that's where the clip we've seen in promos of Owen warning people comes from, that whole plotline coming up. But, anyway, I'm excited :). And yes, these paragraphs are kind of short, because I ain't interested in having a repeat of last week lol. Anyway, lastly, I am glad Owen answered the first time TK called, and he did resist the FBI for a minute to talk to him a bit longer :). It still sucks he had to rush off, but I'm glad he was at least there for TK a little bit <3. I'm totally (as long as I have the motivation, and who knows if I'll finish it but I will definitely try lol) writing a fic about him listening to messages TK left him and losing it (not totally). Well, let's say being distressed lol. Anyway, despite all I've said about Owen here lol, I loved him <33.

Now. Finally :). TK and Carlos. A A A H H H H H H H H H H H!!! 😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🥰🥰🥰😍😍💔💔❤️❤️❤️😭😭❤️❤️🥺🥺🥺❤️❤️❤️. Okay, I'm good lol. Kind of xD. Anyway, I'll try and at least make this longer than Owen's - on principle lol -, but I don't have quite as much to say since I said a lot more about Tarlos in the moment than I did Owen lol. I'm trying to make my reviews a little shorter by not including quite so much of what I said in the liveblogs, more of my thoughts that I didn't put down (usually the more thought out ones lol), so it's a little easier for me to do them :). Motivation just be that way sometimes lol! Anyway :D. My boyyssss 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰. But also. My boyyssss 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭. XD. Anyway, I thought they were AMAZING this episode. And, just a quick note - UGH, the ACTING!!!!! SO. AMAZING. Thank you Ronen and Rafa 😭😭❤️ :) :D.

Anyway, this episode was DEFINITELY an angsty one - obviously - but it was so, so good :D. For them, I mean - it was in general but this ain't about that right now lol. Seeing all their emotions, really strong ones obviously, was just heartbreaking 😭. And, I was only just thinking about this, but they kind of paralleled each other. Obviously they're having similar feelings (like fear lol), but in different ways, because of their different sides of the equation. Plus, we haven't seen TK's anger in a while - besides the slight anger/the frustration with Iris -, and it was fuuun :DDD >:)). Anyway, just seeing how TK's emotions redirected into the anger, and Carlos's were forced to go into logical thinking. It was rough 😭. And also, that scene of Carlos seeing TK on the doorbell monitor? Wow, why don't you break my heart with a hammer already :'). Or that meat tenderizer Trudie used to smash carlos's phone :'D. Anyway XD.

TK obviously went through it this episode, but I mean. Carlos is the main focus of going through it here XD. They were both suffering and I'm totally vibing with the double angst but right now let's talk about Carlos since he was literally kidnapped, drugged, and almost killed lol. Also during the liveblog I was mostly just screaming, so I'm gonna differentiate some of my emotions here XD. Now, when Carlos was quiet (not quite submissive) or drugged it was awful, but whenever he was fighting back it was just viscerally uncomfortable. In a really good acting and such kinda way lol. Especially earlier on in the episode - by the time we was fighting Darryl at the end I was consumed even more by other things, one of which being "YES YES YES GOOOO CARLOS, SLAYYYY GO OFF, BEAT HIM!!!!" XD. But anyway, the entire time it was just so heartbreaking 😭😭❤️💔🥺. And Carlos saying that Gwyn's love passed through him because he had no idea how he could love TK that much? I just. Wow. I think he'd probably actually thought that before lol, not just coming up with it for Trudie's benefit, but even if he did, DANG. That is some powerful stuff xdd 😭😭. Also heartwrenching and heartwarming lol xD. Just emotional in general.

And now some on TK! Then a bit of Tarlos and then some less emotional plot stuff lol. Anyway, ANGRY TKKKK :DDD!! XDD But besides that, seeing the subtleties in his fear - the constant bouncing, the way he always looked like he was about to cry. Just, UGH 😭😭😭, so good. And I'm sure this experience will definitely mess him up - don't even get me started on how much this'll have traumatized Carlos - xd. Honestly if we don't get a lot of it in canon, I'm excited for the fics that explore Carlos and TK's trauma from this more :). Probably more stuff of dealing with it/having it brought or rise up than deep dives but those too lol. Even if we get a lot in canon xD. Anyway, lol. It was just heartbreaking to see TK unravelling throughout the episode; in scenes like him talking with Gabriel he's clearly trying to keep it together, but by the time we get to investigating he's really losing it. Just, UGH, so good :'DDD 😭🥰❤️😍.

Now that last scene - well, the last two actually, I'll include the ambulance/after scene lol. TK having to do chest compressions and save Carlos (well, hold onto him for a little :') ) was just 😭😭😭. And seeing Carlos try to focus on TK when he was still awake? UGH, 😭😭😭😭 so good. And AAGHHHH 😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️. It was such an amazing scene but MAN did it hurt xd. Especially Carlos jumping away from them when he woke up 💔💔 <33. And after that, the conversation about holding onto his life :'DDD? And how TK HAS HIS LIFE 😭😭😭😭❤️❤️🥰🥰. Y'all it's over close it down it was all worth it for this xD. They're just so adorable and in love :')). Also, YESSS THE "ARE YOU GONNA RIDE WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND?" PARALLELLLLLLL!!! WHOOOO 🥰🥰😍😍😭🥳🥳🥳🥳😭. WE DESERVE IT XDDD. I will say again that it would've been even better (than 100% amazing) if it has been fiancé this time lol. Anyway xD. Oh and yeah I loved how much they said fiancé this time :'). Anybody <33. I just love acknowledgments of people's relationships okay :'DDD. But especially Tarlos being fiancés ;'))))). Idk why winky just because :D.

Anyway, plot wise I absolutely loved Tarlos in this episode. It was super interesting and obviously VERY tense, and the kidnapping (kidnappers, backstory, reason for it, etc) was actually very interesting. Not that I necessarily expected it not to be, but I didn't really think about it much lol. Also, I don't think any of us expected TK at the door xD 😭. Anyway, I also thought Trudie seemed in character the whole time with what we knew of her - she wasn't evil, and she believed in love (especially that of a mother and a son), so she let Carlos out. But she loved her son more than anything, so she protected him from Carlos. That's just the one example but yeah I thought it was really interesting, and really good :D. Also, TK working with Gabriel this episode? Obviously >>>>. As we all expected lol xD.

Now, for a quick look at next episode and after that: I hope we'll see Carlos next episode, and hear about his recovery and all that, but I think we'll see TK mention it but not actually see Carlos. I think it would be difficult to just have in one scene - like I said earlier, it's an important thing, too much to just put in a throwaway (not throwaway but I mean not one of the main plots of the episode) scene. I just think it would feel unnatural, but I don't know that we'll get a whole storyline on it next episode. And while I would absolutely love that, it makes sense. And it's been way too long since we've truly seen the others and they deserve some screen time :D. So, yeah, I think it'll get mentioned, and then in the next episode we see Carlos in/a few episodes from now we'll see some of the aftermath of this episode. See, I wouldn't be surprised at, say, a Carlos returning to work storyline in an episode (as in the one after this next one) or two, and having to deal with/explore some of the trauma through that. I mean the plot, but Carlos also having to deal with it lol. And obviously if something like that does happen we better have amazing support from TK <3. Anyway, I just hope (I know they will :'D) they support each other and love each other (not really a hope it's a fact lol), and they'll get through this :'D. Anyway, long story short, I LOVE THEM SO MUCH YOUR HONOR 😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🥰🥰😍😍🥰🥰🥰!!! Yeah, I love them <3.

Overall, I absolutely loved this episode. I adored it :D. It was so, so amazing, and once it's been a little longer I'll probably rewatch it - I don't rewatch full episodes a lot, and usually if I watch clips it's not angsty ones, but it can be. Anyway, for example, I haven't re-watched any episode this season yet, but I think I may rewatch this one this week. If I can clam down enough lol XD. I'm still tense just thinking about it, writing this. Plus from something else I was watching, but that's besides the point lol. Anyway, obviously I loved the kidnapped plot this episode, but I really enjoyed Owen's too :). Especially since it'll apparently play into the angst we see for TK and Owen in the future :D. Which, I'm glad was directly addressed (well, seen by us lol, addressed by the show, not characters) this episode. Usually it's tiny things or things we just assume, and I imagine some of which will be brought up in that future storyline, but today we saw TK outwardly bothered by it :). Very interesting! Not confusing though, it definitely makes sense lol. Anyway! I loved seeing a bit of the 126 - the scene they were in was great lol -, though it was odd to see TK mostly doing this on his own. He wasn't, but he also wasn't interacting much with the others. This episode felt like it was literally following TK, Carlos, and Owen. Luckily for the episode Carlos didn't move much lol. . . . sorry lol XD. Anyway (also yes the period and then separate ellipse was on purpose lol), it was really cool :D. Just odd how, maybe because he wasn't at work, we didn't see any of the team's reactions to everything going on. Certainly interesting. Also, I live in FEAR of the next episode 😳👀. I think the ending of the promo there is a red herring, an in the moment kind of association - I don't think it's Marjan leaving, I think it's probably Owen or O'Brien, maybe one of the other gang members. Also I doubt Marjan will really leave, or at least not for long (if it lasts for multiple episodes I'll die <3), but I am still very much in fear :'D. TK looks way too at peace in that last shot (or one of the last shots anyway) for Marjan to be leaving though xD. But yeah, it looks super interesting and I'm excited to see that big fire, and why everything that happens happens :D. Anyway! Back to this episode lol :). Grace was also amazing, I'm interested to see where Owen's storyline is going since while it closed a chapter, it's the only storyline from this episode that's actively continuing (we're sure to see aftereffects of the other one), I'm so glad Carlos is okay :'D, and all in all I just thought it was a super great episode :DD. Very emotional 😭😭, super dramatic, and had some comedy bits xD. I LOVED it 🥰🥰🥰😍❤️❤️.

So yeah! I absolutely loved this episode. I thought it was awesome! I'm nervous for the next one! This has been my review of. . .

9-1-1: Lone Star, Season 4, Episode 4: Abandoned

It was so amazing! I'm really excited to see more of everyone next episode, though I am scared. I'll be back next week with my review of. . .

9-1-1: Lone Star, Season 4, Episode 5: Human Resources

See you then!

[transmasc-tabris]

More screenshots (bonus, managed to find Bull a shirt and don't know how to feel about that)

[piastri-fvx]

A Ferrari fan and a Red Bull Driver. Max Verstappen.

Pairing: Max Verstappen x FerrariFan!reader, Max Verstappen x Leclerc!reader, social media and a very short irl part

Summary: When Max Verstappen develops a crush on a Ferrari fan, who happens to be a Leclerc.

Word Count: 1,089

Face claim: different girls from pinterest & Sabrina Carpenter

Disclaimer/s: None!! Just fluff and a bunch of bickering.

Authors Note: yayyyy second story, here we go!! Hope u enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it!

------------------------------------------------------

@yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc, arthur_leclerc, alexandrastmleux, lorenzotl, jade_distinguinn, charlotte2304 and 637.581.274 others

yourusername family day in the paddockkkk ❤️

| view all comments...

alexandrastmleux trop belleeee liked by creator

-> yourusername my wife 💕

-> charles_leclerc ???

user1 okay but Max posting her...

-> user2 HE DID???

-> arthur_leclerc he did?

-> user3 i smell overprotective brother

-> yourusername @arthur_leclerc don't even

charles_leclerc my favorite little sister ❤️ liked by creator

-> yourusername i'm your only sister?

-> user4 damn 💀

-> user5 i'm so invested in the Max and Leclerc stuff

user6 i need more footage of y/n meeting people in the paddock 😣

-> user7 real

jade_distinguinn 🥰🥰🥰 liked by creator

-> yourusername my loveee 🩵

-> user8 awwww

maxverstappen1 loved meeting you liked by creator

-> user9 what is going on

-> user10 someone please pinch me

user11 you are gorgeoussss liked by creator

-> yourusername thank youuuu

user12 woahhhhh 😍

user13 oh to have y/ns life

@maxverstappen1

liked by yourusername, user1, alexandrastmleux, landonorris, estebanocon and 4.284.395 others

maxverstappen1 finally summer break

tagged: @yourusername

| view all comments...

yourusername forza ferrari 🥰

-> maxverstappen1 no

-> user1 i'm afraid she slayed

charles_leclerc why are you posting my little sister???????

-> maxverstappen1 what? which sister? you have a sister?

-> user2 damnnnn, the gaslighting

user3 i'm so invested in all of this

landonorris i don't know about you guys, but this looks like a girlfriend appreciation post to me 🙃 liked by creator

-> user4 i fear he ate

-> user5 damn, lando has a point

-> arthur_leclerc they're not dating

-> user6 he refuses to believe it lmao

user7 the leclerc brothers being in denial is my favorute thing ever

-> yourusername real

-> user8 omg hiiii

-> user9 is that a confirmation?

arthur_leclerc no

-> user10 overprotective brother alert

user11 MAX LIKING LANDO'S COMMENT ABOUT Y/N BEING HIS GF????

-> user12 i'm so glad i get to live in this world

user13 okay but why is no one talking about how pretty she is?? like damn liked by creator

scuderiaferrari she's ours

-> redbullracing she won't be for long liked by creator

-> user14 not ferrari and red bull fighting over her 😭

user15 just fell to my knees in a parking lot

-> user16 valid reaction

------------------------------------------------------

Sitting in the passenger seat of Max's Aston Martin, y/n let out a thoughtful hum, directing her gaze to Max. He glanced at her, noticing the weight of her gaze on him.

"Penny for your thoughts, mijn liefde?" He spoke up, his voice softer than usual. He seemed to have noticed her thoughtfulness as her mind seemed to be racing. He knew the expression on her face all too well.

"What if they're mad..?" She then spoke, her body visibly tensing at the thought. Her shoulders slumped, making his eyes meet hers again, now filled with concern.

"Lorenzo, Arthur and Charles?" He asked, despite already knowing the answer. Of course she was talking about her brothers, she had been quite anxious to tell them about her relationship with Max, and Max knew that.

She tilted her head, her eyes full of nervousness. "Yeah," she simply said, nodding her head and biting her lips, looking out the window of the car to try to distract herself from her thoughts.

"Why would they be? You make me happy. I love you and you love me. They should be happy for us," Max calmly spoke, attempting to make her relax a bit. And he seemingly succeeded, as she slightly relaxed.

"Yeah, you're probably right," She couldn't help but feel butterflies in her stomach as he said that he loved her. He had said it before, since they had been dating for multiple months at this point, but it still felt like the first time.

------------------------------------------------------

@charles_leclerc

liked by arthur_leclerc, scuderiaferrari, redbullracing, landonorris, lorenzotl and 1.384.294 others

charles_leclerc me when my little sister hangs out with my rival 😒

| view all comments...

maxverstappen1 did someone mention me? liked by creator

-> user1 max verstappennnnnn

user2 lestappen?

landonorris wait until you see his newest post, charles liked by creator

-> user3 i love how invested in this lando is

-> user4 he's just like us

-> user5 he lives for the drama

user6 y/n mentioned

maxverstappen1 me when y/n leclerc 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

-> arthur_leclerc i will fight you.

-> lorenzotl me too. back off, verstappen

-> charles_leclerc i will crash you into the barriers on purpose if you hurt her

-> user7 them wanting to fight max is so funny to me

user8 the last few months on f1 social media have been so amazing 😭

alex_albon max has rizz

-> user9 true

-> user10 preach, alexander albon

user11 do do do do max verstappen

-> user12 i live for that song 😭

@maxverstappen1

liked by yourusername, redbullracing, charles_leclerc, niallhoran, louist91, liampayne, joaofelix79 and 5.482.385 others

maxverstappen1 girlfriend appreciation post

| view all comments...

yourusername mon amourrrrr 🥰 liked by creator

-> maxverstappen1 forever yours ❤️

-> user1 your honor, i love them 😭

-> user2 we got y/n and max together before gta 6

user3 i mean, we did get lestappen ☺️

-> user4 yeah, just with a different leclerc than we thought

-> user5 this is so cute

user6 i hope they get married

-> user7 same

louist91 so happy for you both!! liked by creator

-> yourusername thank you, lou!!

-> user8 i love that she's friends with zayn, louis, liam, harry and niall 😣

liampayne yayyyyyyy!! now she won't have to pine when we text or call and talk about how amazing you are and how much she likes you liked by creator

-> yourusername i'll still do that, what are best friends for? 💕 liked by creator

-> user9 i love her sm

-> user10 i love their friendship

zayn my boy finally got the girl liked by creator

-> maxverstappen1 such a romantic way of saying it

-> user11 so real of them

niallhoran romeo and juliet minus the dying liked by creator

-> user12 so slay of niall to be here

harrystyles wanna write songs about you and him with me? liked by creator

-> yourusername check our chat 🥰

-> user13 HS4?????

-> user14 featuring y/n?

-> user15 y/n in her singer and songwriter era?

-> user16 oh, i am SO here for this

joaofelix79 congratssss liked by creator

charles_leclerc don't your dare break her heart, verstappen liked by creator

-> user17 he wouldn't

-> maxverstappen1 i wouldn't, she'll be my woman forever

------------------------------------------------------

A/N: woooooo!!! second story in two dayssss!! thank you so so much to everyone who liked and reblogged my story, and thank you to everyone who follows me now <333 let me know if you have requests or you want to be on my permanent tag list!!!

[1pepsiboy]

Car video with Matt Sturniolo - Fluff! (request)

Matt Sturniolo x reader!

Word count: 1.1K

Warnings: swearing, a little kissing

A/N: This one got away from me and I had to reign it back in because it's not supposed to be smutty lmaooo But here it is!

***

It’s close to midnight as Matt parks the van in a random spot at the favorite lot. The two of you got fries, chicken nuggets with sweet n’ sour sauce (mostly for him), and a large milkshake to share. You plan to do a car video to post on his individual channel.

You have no idea what you were going to talk about. Matt had fans submit their own questions for you two to answer.

After setting up the camera, which included Matt going out to check it, you start recording and picking at the food.

Matt starts the video off. "Hey everyone, (y/n) and I are here. Uhm... basically we're going to do our own car video without Nick and Chris. We don't really have a topic, but you guys submitted questions on instagram. Babe, have anything to start us off?"

Now, he looks at you as you’re mid fry. You chew quickly as possible, wiping your hands on a napkin, as he giggles under his breath.

"Thanks for the warning," you remark with a laugh. "Uhm, not really... I'm just here for the vibes."

"For the vibes?" Matt crooks a brow and looks you up and down. Then he takes a nugget and dips in the sauce.

You roll your eyes. "Don't yuck my yum."

Matt stuffs the nugget in his mouth. "Okay, Chris."

All you do is flip him off and take a sip of the milkshake.

"Just ask the questions."

"Okay, okay." He laughs as he readjusts in his seat after grabbing his phone. It's quiet for a couple minutes while he gathers them. "Oh, let's start with this one. What's our favorite thing about each other?"

"Well-"

"Oh, quick disclaimer, sorry babe." Matt shoots you a nervous smile. "I will edit screenshots of the questions onto the screen so you can see who they're from. And uh.. if you'd like to get featured in videos, follow us on instagram to see the next time I ask for questions. I'll put the @s on the screen and in the description below."

You slowly chew on your straw after taking another sip, patiently waiting for him to be done. It's already been fifteen minutes and you are almost positive Matt forgot the extra battery pack. Granted, you could've asked Nick where it was and brought it; too late.

"Okay, what were you going to say?" Matt prompts.

You think about making another snarky remark in how it'd been so long since he asked the question that you don't remember it.

Tapping the straw on your pursed lips, you pretend to think. "Well... I have many favorite things so it's an unfair question."

Matt lightly rolls his eyes. "Look, I know you love everything about me, but what's your favorite?"

"Oh, everything?" You laugh. "You think so highly of yourself, don't you, Matty B? Let's go the different route then." You look directly into the camera. "Guys, this kid will not accept anything sort of unorganized or clean. Not for more than five minutes if he can help it."

Matt's jaw drops and he snatches the cup out of your hand. "Your least favorite thing is how organized I am?"

"Yeah, live a little! You won't die if there's like a wrapper or two on your desk, or if the toothbrush isn't in the holder."

"You are an absolute monster, (y/n)!" Matt cracks. He points between you and the camera. "Don't believe a single word she says. She leaves more than a wrapper or two, and her skincare is all over my bathroom counter after she does her morning routine."

You shrug. "I don't see a problem with that, and I don't think the fans will either."

"Guys, leave a comment if you're more like me or (y/n)." He barely scoffs under his breath, eating another fry. "You're lucky you have other amazing qualities that I overlook the messiness."

Now, you couldn't help blushing. “Such as?”

Matt shakes his head, a smile spreading on his lips. “You’re understanding about a lot going on, you know, like the channels, life, and stuff. So it’s easy to talk to you about it, like if I’m ever anxious or something.”

��Top fucking notch quality right there,” you say. “Anything else? I love the praise.”

“I thought this was reserved for in private, babe.”

Your eyes go wide and you almost spit out the fry you just put in your mouth. “Matthew! Stop!”

Matt giggles under his breath. “Sorry. Uhm… You can rock a men’s polo and make the best playlists for me… Obviously you have such a vibrant personality.” 

“That I do.” You nod in agreement. You reach out to brush back some of his hair, causing some pinkness to rouge on his cheeks. “I love how cautious you are about decisions, keeps me from letting impulsive thoughts win.”

“Which is a lot,” he shoots a look at the camera.

You can only roll your eyes in response. “Anyway… You’re the most caring person I know that will drop anything to help someone you love. The only time you won’t ask a lot of questions… Oh! You’re actually the best big spoon ever.”

He bites his bottom lip, failing to hold back a cheesy grin. “Really, babe?”

“Absolutely.” 

You close the space between you, and Matt instinctively rests his hand in the crook of your neck. You crawl over the center console onto his lap when you realize it wouldn’t be just a few kisses.

Time gets away and you sort of forget that you are filming. Your hands roam each other’s bodies over and under clothes. Both of you leave butterfly kisses on the other’s neck.

The lights in the van suddenly dim away.

“Shit. Fuck,” Matt says, his lips pink from yours and hair tousled more than usual. “I think the camera died.”

“And we technically only answered one question.” You bite your lip with a laugh. 

He laughs with you, running a hand through his hair. He lays back and looks you in the eyes. “I should’ve known not to start with that question.”

“Should we try doing this again on a different night?”

Matt sighs heavily. “Probably… It would suck to scrap all the footage though.”

A smirk rises on your lips as you move back to the passenger seat. “You want to include clips of us making out?”

“Obviously no.” He rolls his eyes. 

“Let’s just keep going then. Use my phone to record.”

Matt kisses the crook of your neck. “You’re the best, babe.”

You shoot him a look. “Be careful, Matthew.”

“Sorry, sorry.” He throws his hands up in defense. (He really wasn’t that sorry.)

*You can request others from this list or send me new ones!*

[usagifuyusummer]

"You're loved. Don't forget."

More ramblings and concept art below lmao.

I am devastated on thinking Timmy's fate in the series... I won't put my faith that they will handle it well, so I'll just indulge in fanworks to fill in this void. If they ever do it well one day, then I'll be there for the encore.

For now, I think you'll see a lot of somewhat depressed art on FOP for a while lol. Not continuous mind you! University is a bitch to get through. Whenever I'm free that is. Which is on long stretches of time unfortunately... Still, when I'm not posting trash, I'll be around observing quietly. You can guarantee that at least.

The work this time is inspired by @xblubotx (the adopted parents kissing Timmy one so cute omgosh) and @cubbihue FOP AU (sorry I have not memorised your AU yet). I admire that Blubot can adapt the FOP artstyle so well lmao. It'll be lightyears before I can do that 😭😭😭. Also, their Timmy fanarts break my heart, thank you. For the fairies design, I took inspiration from Cubbihue's AU. I think it's cute that they have tails, but there's not much I can say regarding their AU since its still developing. Take your time on that and have fun by the way.

The context for this one is just that Timmy is embarassed that Cosmo and Wanda are giving him the affection he is missing out from his parents. Poof is laughing from Timmy's embarrassment lol. (Not using Poof's new name because that is not that iteration of his character.) Timmy got a lot of fairy dust to remove from his face on that day...

Hm, are there side-effects to fairies kissing a mortal (on the cheeks hehe)? I kinda wish there was a comprehensive mythology book for stuff like that. There's some sources where I read that fairies kissing humans can actually result in their soul being whisked away to the other world (essentially dying yeah) and some sources say that fairies kissing you means its their way of marking territory or for good luck??? I wonder where those myths came from... but it is fascinating to think about. I guess Timmy will die young then /jk lol.

I got input from my younger sister that a darker color background is better than the dark blue one I used initially. I'm quite unsure on this, so I'll just post them all... I also don't think I nailed Cubbihue's AU on the fairy sizes... It's hard to accurately draw characters on a specific scale for me... Oh well, I can practice more. This took me 3 days at least. Also, here's a png version of the piece and two photos of the concept sketches.

I think that's all I want to yap about. Thanks for reading and have a nice day. See you when my homework isn't killing me.

[kroosluvr]

aftermath

ERMMM this takes place after long winter au third semester.... it could honestly vary but i think sometime btwn 5-10 yrs. sumire is abroad, akira moved back to tokyo after finishing hs/college, goro is. around

SORRY ITS 5am again so ill make this quick . again

QUICK DISCLAIMER this is kinda like a lot of me projecting LMFAOSDOGKJSDHFK@#)40 so like dont read into this tooooo much bc idk royaltrio cld be insnanely ooc here but. YEA.

started thinking abt akira constantly calling up goro and sumire even after 1) goro dies (so they think) and 2) sumire distances herself post-third sem. i elaborate on this on my shusumi fic........ sorry subtle shilling

^ tldr i think these 3 kinda drift apart after the snowglobe world crumbles, that false reality that ironically brought them so close together..... back in reality, things feel Different (but this is Our reality right? why does it feel so strange now?) and so. well its just not the same, no amtter what

the. the “the love was there. it didnt change anything. it didnt save anyone. there were just too many forces against it. but it still matters that the love was there” tumblr post

even though they loved each other and knew it too, there was also some sort of looming feeling that it won't last - but it does, still. it exists, in some meaningful sense-

akira sees and thinks about sumire and goro in everything he does, his day to day life, worries about them, wants to tell them about all he's doing, wants to hear about what they're up to. so he does so by leaving voicemails (although in this case sumire changed her number LMFAO. he does it anyway)

in the same vein, sumire thinks about all the things she'd like to tell goro, but with no address to send it to, it's useless. but she writes them anyway - more and more as a solace to herself, conversing with the memory of goro in her head, making him live on in that sense. and with akira i think it's a little more subtle. here she's trying to find a coffee shop that measures up to lebalnc, and of course she doesn't. there's only one leblanc and only one akira. but yeah like in sumire's case she kinda goes these "roundabout" ways in her Missing Them. theres also the added thing of her wanting to be more independent (from goro and akira and kasumi and tokyo and etc etc etc. also elaborated on in said fic)

goro! i think there's smth so poignant about visiting your own grave (i wrote sumire doing htis in another fic. thats an aside) hair cut, mask on, no gloves, he's a different sort of goro akechi but not really in any meaningful sense either. he's just different. sumire leaves the scarf (i think w sumire, she learns from goro like. omg im blanking on the word. LIKE reliability..? thinking realistically? smth like that.) so shes subconsciously thinks oh ill get him something useful like a scarf to keep warm (and a lil more subtle on the love aspect). akira gets him a lovely bouquet, straightforward and honest w his love/adoration, never afraid to spell it out. smth abt goro needing to live a new life now but also he keeps looking back - but this time, there's love when he looks back. there's still love

a kind of "youll always have home with me" sentiment btwn these 3. even if we never return there, youll still have a place in my heart

like "i dont think ill ever have that kind of love again. but i had it once. and even if i couldnt keep it, its still important." THIS IS HARD TO EXPLAIN

anyway tldr theres just some sentiment w royaltrio w Wanting to move on but also holding onto your past, and learning how to reconcile with the horrible parts but also the tender and lovely parts. sometimes there's stuff you gotta leave behind and grow past, grow around, even if it's good. even if it's good, you still have to push forward. <- a lesson that i'm trying to teach myself currently so thats why this is very. projecting. LMFAODSJKHJKSDKW sorry im crnge goodnight

these notes are horrible dont read these.

[whatcannotbesaid-shallbewept]

Sure, there are valid criticisms of Warriors (it does feel like an early draft, the plot/timeline needs to feel more dynamic, which we will go over at length in other posts)

But I really dislike how one of the main critiques at the moment is that Luther is "poorly written" because he says he has "no reason" for his actions.

Like sure, I get it. Years of cinema sins and amateur YouTube critique told you that if "motivation=not good" then villian is bad and thus the Writing Is Bad and it is Flawed.

Luther says he "he has no reason" and just "just wants to watch the world burn"

But that's what Luther says. He wants to present himself as a crazy menacing joker villain but... thats not true. In the end hes pathetic and crumbles easily.

If you actually look at his actions... He shoots a woman at what was supposed to be a peaceful meeting.

I would guess in other gang stories that the villains are more grand - but that's not Luther. Lin Manuel Miranda was inspired gamergate for this story. And yeah. Here's our gamergate incel, guys. The big inciting incident he causes, basically boils down to him being a school shooter.

One of the final lines of the show is "Someday in the city, we won't have to run, each time a broken person gets ahold of a gun". It's pretty clear.

He doesn't have complex and sympathetic motivations like fantasy or superhero villains. Because why would he?

He has... the same motivations as a lot of "villains" in real life. He's got a grudge against the world, wants to feel powerful, and chooses to abuse the vulnerable (the women in the gangs).

Like he's not complex!

He's not supposed to be! He's supposed to be weak and pathetic. You're supposed to look at this guy and go "is this what all this violence has been for?"

I'm so surprised people don't get it.

Also while I'm here, I'll just say I also hate all the critiques that are just ripping on stuff that was in the 1977 movie. Sorry, guys, thats The Warriors, deal with it.

[triaelf9]

Just a lil post about Taash and how I'm feeling about how ppl are reacting to them as someone who relates to them very strongly not only on the gender journey front, but also on the mom-issues front.

Cut for length b/c of course this won't actually be a "little" post lol

So I hear a lot of "Taash is too young" "Taash acts like a child" "Taash is too brash" "Taash has wildly binary views of the world" "Taash is thinks their reality is the world's reality" etc etc etc

And I'm here to say that as someone who realized that non-binary was a thing later in life, grew up trying to be them, but society was not only unwelcoming to that, but openly hostile at points, with a mom who had totally different interests, who very much wanted to protect them from the outside world to a point where it left them unprepared to deal with nuances of the world, etc, a mom who thought they were "just doing their best" but was never meant to be a mom, and never wanted to be a mom, didn't have the tools for mom-hood, who wanted to protect their child, but had no real idea how, and how every comment turned into the mom trying to steer her kid the right way, but just came out as a dig or a "you're not good enough" remark, AND looking after your mom in a world that is wholly unsuited to her, that she can't really adapt to and fit into, and kinda becoming her mom to a point so that your life completely revolves around her until you leave home?

Yeah. I get Taash. It's actually kinda freaky how, fantasy elements aside, I get Taash on a frightening level. (aside from the dragon stuff, we're both the same with that HELL YEAH DRAGONS)

Taash doesn't read young to me because I've always read young because of how I was raised. I didn't get the chance to figure myself out until I left home. I also had the benefit of being able to leave for college at a younger age, and got a chance to experience things away from my mom earlier. But seeing things in such a binary way, that's how it is when you're protected like that.

You don't want to admit how similar you are to how your mom sees the world, b/c she sees it in one way, and as you go through life, you get to learn differently. You come out of this situation INCREDIBLY judgmental at first. Why aren't THESE things conforming to MY reality. You come across as brash and childish. And when you get treated as such, it's triggering b/c that's how your mom treats you.

You hate how you look, you think you look like a freak b/c your mom is constantly commenting on your appearance. She does it out of love (she wants you to be healthy & not mocked by your peers) but she doesn't consider that constantly telling you not to look a certain way does damage. My self confidence only recovered in my thirties. I'm 4 days from my 38th birthday, and it took getting pregnant to finally be like "you know what, I don't hate myself & my body" which is MASSIVE for me.

So where do we get our self confidence? In things we enjoy, in hyperfocuses that we're good at. For me that's comics, naginata, fantasy & DA lore lol XD For Taash it's dragons, fighting, and working out. And when we falter there, it's devastating b/c it's the only way we can feel good about ourselves b/c our SELVES are disconnected and tucked away b/c they make us feel bad.

So I totally get how Taash reads to people. The autism aspects are more like my wife (who is autistic & has issues with social cues, while I'm HYPER AWARE of social stuff which fuels my anxiety b/c of the type of person my mom was and how I had to look after her), but I get it.

But it makes me sad when I hear people dunk on Taash as "bad writing" and "unrealistic" and "annoying" and it's like...is that how you see people like that? Is that how you see me and people like my wife? I feel like people aren't willing to look deeper so often (an issue with all the companions tbh & some day I'll have to get into my Davrin feels b/c BOY do I have them. Neve too, WHOOF) but I feel like if you do that in a game, I hope you don't do that irl.

anyway TLDR this is a Taash defense post b/c while they have a lot of issues, stuff they need to work out & have wrong opinions on stuff, they're growing, they're learning & they have to do it later than most. They're an incredibly complicated character with tons of nuance, and I can't wait to get deeper into their story and banter with companions in round 2 of my playthroughs, and then again in round 3

Sorry this is too long, and I'm sure not all of this was intended when they were written, but this is how it all clicked with me as someone who has lived a large portion of that stuff. Like, again, I'm nearly fucking FOURTY and I don't feel like I should be there yet b/c I started so far back. It ALSO doesn't help that ADHD wild child I was, I was held back in preschool b/c neurodivergence also makes a kid read younger, AND the choice to have me be the youngest in the class would have been a very bad one. So I'm older than most of my peers BUT I've always read younger, felt younger, and have had a sore spot when it comes to all that.

Thank you for coming to my Taash Talk, I'll be here all week to think about more stuff, including how their body makes them read as lady, and they're not sure how to feel about that, but they don't want to CHANGE it, but is it right?

ANYWHO this is why Taash is a fascinating character & deserves better than to be regulated to "annoying kid"