#but i will find the woman i used to be and become her and more

[thewitchandtheassassin]

Life, Death, and the Space in Between Part One (Agatha Harkness x Reader x Rio Vidal)

Summary: Bound together by power and fate, you and Rio are undeniably tied, but Agatha Harkness was something unexpected - yet in the end...

Words: 1664

Warnings: Canon deaths, AAA, uh... language, child birth kinda? Angsty? I dunno, there's things.

A/N: A retake and partial redo of AAA (in the sense of "what if"). This is gonna be a... four part series? I think?

-X-

Cries of pain echoed throughout the trees as Agatha stumbled towards the water, body finding purchase against the trunk of a tree as another contraction washed over her. Everything ached, but she didn’t care. All she had worked for was so close. She just needed a little more strength and her child would be tucked into her arms, a beacon of her love.

She hardly noticed the unnatural silence that befell the forest, the wind dying into nothing more than an occasional puff of air. All she could see was- feel, hear - was the sound of her own heartbeat.

Glancing up as another cramp hit, she caught sight of two familiar figures lingering near. The beating of her heart quickened, so overwhelmed at the prospect of you both being there to meet your son, but the identical expressions you wore sent her heart plummeting.

He is not mine, you conveyed to Rio regretfully, tears prickling the corner of your eyes.

Life and Death stood, watching critically over the mortal who’d stolen their hearts. While bound together forever in a way no one would ever understand or be capable of recreating, you had both found the tiny piece you were missing within Agatha. You’d found a middle ground.

Death took a step forward.

Life took two steps back.

“It cannot be,” Agatha breathed, inching away from the green witch as she neared.

You could feel Rio’s heart cracking, felt the anguish and guilt rushing over her.

“It must be,” she replied gently.

“You do this and I will hate you forever,” Agatha spat fearfully, glancing between you. “Both of you.”

A sob clawed its way up your throat, suffocating and vile. This was the hardest moment you’d ever been summoned to.

“Please let him live!” Agatha cried. “Please, my loves. Don’t take him from me.”

Pleas began falling like tears, and your entire being called out to you. Begged you to rush to her side. To heal your son.

Rio’s eyes drifted closed for a moment before a dark stare met Agatha. You could see the parts of Rio warring. Her nature and her love clashing together in a battle, both reaching out to Agatha before being yanked back.

“I can offer only time.”

She peered at you. Save him.

Your feet moved before you could fully comprehend what was happening. Your knees hit the dirt in front of Agatha, warm light shining from your hands as they touched her swollen belly.

Looking over your shoulder at Rio, you watched the veil that separated you from mortals swirl around her.

Tell him of me, she begged, tears streaming down her cheeks in rivets.

All the time, my love, you vowed.

Attention returning to Agatha, you smiled up at her faintly. “Let’s bring our boy into the world, shall we?”

-X-

Years passed. Years of joining your love to decide the fate of a life. Years of watching your little boy grow, watching him become sick, watching him grow frail and tired…

Watching your lover kill in hopes of distracting your other lover. Watching her use your son to do it but never allowing Rio too close. Watching Agatha grow colder. Meaner. Deadlier.

As life comes and goes, you were often pulled away from Nicholas, helping the other piece of your soul collect and distribute life and death as needed. But for the times you were with him, watching him blossom and shrink, you never let him forget about the woman who offered him time.

As you stepped through the trees, veil falling away into your human form, you watched the beautiful smile break across Nicky’s face before he was bounding into your arms, clinging to you like a lifeline.

“Mother! You are back!” he beamed up at you, his thin arms gripping you as tight as he could. It was devastating to see the sickness ravaging him, knowing you could do nothing to change it.

“Hello, my littlest love,” you cooed, carding your fingers through his long hair before peering over his head at Agatha. “And my tall love.”

“If you are here, will I see Mami tonight in my dreams?” Nicky whispered into your ear, shrieking happily as you lifted him, tossing him over your shoulder and holding him tightly as his little feet kicked.

“Maybe.”

Agatha rolled her eyes affectionately as you pressed a kiss to her cheek, Nicky thrown playfully over your shoulder and squealing as you swung him about. She was surprised to see you return so soon, and her heart thumped painfully as she thought to Rio.

As the afternoon progressed into night, Nicky regaled you with tales of their exploits. Your heart ached, knowing the reasons behind Agatha’s choices but refusing to discourage your son from telling his vivid stories. You were so… angry with Agatha, for doing this to him, but in another life, maybe you would’ve done the same.

After he was tucked onto a small pallet, blanket right around his frail form, you joined Agatha at the edge of the water. Staring out into the darkness, you spoke softly, “This has bid you some time but you know this cannot stop the inevitable, my love.”

Bristling, Agatha turned to walk away, unwilling to hear your truths, but a steady hand caught her.

“You need to hear me, Agatha. She has given all she can. She has fought the universe to keep him here; avoided her own son so that Death would not call him home yet. But we cannot keep him here. He is not meant to be here, yet we let him walk and talk and be here with you. And you still hate her for the time she has allowed me to give him. Without her, he never would have taken his first breath. You need to unbury your head from the sands and accept we cannot change fate anymore than we have.”

Eyes flaring purple with fury, Agatha shoved you but you did not waver. “You are essentially gods! Yet one child unravels the cosmos? Fate? He is my son and you want to let her take him from me!”

“He is our son,” you corrected sharply. “He is her son. As much as he is mine or yours. She made him as we did. She does not get to watch him grow as we did. Hold him. Love him. Because she wanted to grant you time with him and yet you spit in her face!”

Staring into the reddened face of your lover, you softened slightly. “She loves Nicholas. I love Nicholas. And we love you. Gods know we do not wish to hurt you. But he is sick. His body is tired. You know there is only one way.”

“If you cannot understand why I do what I must to keep him here, maybe you should leave,” Agatha whispered, eyes filling with anger and tears. “I will do whatever I can to save him.”

Bowing your head, you tugged her into a tight embrace, pressing your lips to the crown of her head as she cried silently against your chest. It was raw and painful and you knew this was the last time you would see her for a very long time.

By the time she wandered back to camp, you were gone.

-X-

The shadows of night surrounded you as you and Rio approached the campsite one night, hand in hand. Her eerie green torch illuminated the path, her true form hidden beneath a familiar guise.

“I don’t want to scare him,” she had mumbled, cheek resting against your shoulder as time ticked down.

The heavy fall winds dragged Nicholas from his slumber and he slowly sat upright, eyes landing upon the eerie light. His eyes brightened before dimming, realization crashing into his chest. He peered down, watching his body remain as he stood.

Rio gestured for him to kiss his mother and he obeyed, whispering, “I love you,” before meeting you and Rio at the forest edge.

She cupped his cheek sweetly, thumb soothing on his paling flesh. “It’s time, love.”

“I am afraid,” he admitted shyly, wide eyes flickering between you as if ashamed of the admittance.

Crouching down, both of your hands found his lithe shoulders and squeezed reassuringly, letting light and warmth pour from you. “We will be with you every step, darling. I swear it.”

He peered over at Agatha, eyes shimmering in the green light. “I do not fear dying, but I do not want Mama to be alone. She is going to be so lonely.”

Your chest seized painfully.

“Our sweet, wonderful boy,” you breathed, peeking up at your partner, who stared at Nicky adoringly. “I promise, we will not be far from her, even if she cannot see us. Even if she is angry. She is etched into our bones and we will not stray far.”

“I will miss her,” he murmured, “But I will see her again one day?”

“Yes, sweetheart, and someday, we shall be a family again. A complete family.” Looking at Rio, you smiled sadly and cupped her face with your free hand. “One day, we shall never be apart again.”

“A complete family,” Nicholas repeated with a smile, peering up at Rio. “With Mami this time.”

Carefully making your way to the bridge, shadows and light swirled around as you passed through the veil and Nicholas was brought into the embrace of his mother’s domain. You were not ignorant to the pain that would overtake Agatha when the sun rose above the horizon, so once Nicholas found the space crafted especially for him, you returned to the mortal plane and stood above the resting witch.

Stooping down, you patiently maneuvered Nicholas’ mortal body in Agatha’s arms, tucking his blanket tight around him before pressing a butterfly soft kiss to Agatha’s temple.

“I am sorry, my love,” you muttered, pecking her temple again before disappearing with the morning light, soul aching as her wails crested the treetops.

[barcaatthemoon]

perfect || alexia putellas x reader ||

Alexia tries to pull you out of your head when your insecurities become too much.

18+

You had always grown up assuming that you would have found your true love by fairly young. Growing up, everybody that you had known seemed to find their soulmate by the time that they were in their twenties. You had tried so hard for so long, but nothing ever really happened. Until Alexia, you had just assumed that something had to be wrong with you.

Alexia loving you didn't magically cure all of your insecurities. Some of them had gotten quieter, but others became much louder. Sometimes, they were screaming so loud inside of your head that you couldn't function. Alexia was never really sure what you needed whenever you shut down like that, but she still always tried her hardest to pull you out of your stumps.

"Amor, are you awake?" Alexia crept into the bedroom as quietly as she could. The woman had a very heavy tread, but she had been getting a bit more mindful of how she moved around the apartment whenever you were resting. The door opened up fully as Alexia stepped inside to see you laying in bed, wide awake.

"Alexia, you're going to be late for your lunch with Alba," you told her. You thought Alexia had left for it hours ago. She had definitely left to go pick up some things from the market for her mother, who needed a few things for the dinner she was making that night. Alexia was going to go over there, and you knew that she wanted you to come with her, but you had been practically glued to the bed for the past three days.

"Alba canceled because you weren't coming. I swear that she thinks I'm a vessel to hang out with you now," Alexia huffed. Normally, you would have caught onto the fact that she was joking, but you took it as anger. Alexia realized that she had definitely said the wrong thing and scrambled to apologize when you whined and flopped away from her. "Hey, what's wrong amor? What is going on in your head?"

"I don't want to talk about it," you mumbled. Alexia sighed and laid down next to you. You knew that Alexia hated laying down after she had already gotten out of bed. The woman rarely ever took naps or allowed herself rest. You hadn't been there whenever Alexia was stuck recovering from her ACL, but you knew that it had a lot to do with her limited ability to do things while injured.

"I know that you are hard on yourself, and that me asking you not to be won't do much. Just like you asking me to slow down isn't really going to make me stop. We are both very stubborn and stuck in our ways, but that's okay. I have learned to accept your help and support when I need it," Alexia said. You turned to face her, unsure of where she was going with this anymore. "Maybe you should try accepting my love and support a little more too."

"I don't understand why you want me. You could have anybody you want, but you're here with me. What's so special about me?" you asked her.

Alexia cupped your cheeks and rested her forehead against yours as she whispered a single word for her answer, "Everything."

It was fairly impactful, and you found your eyes tearing up a bit. Alexia fought her instinct to panic at your tears, instead wiping them away with her thumbs. You closed the distance between your faces and kissed her. Alexia didn't push or pry with the kiss, letting you show her what you were currently comfortable with.

Alexia would never openly complain about it, but you knew how hard it was for her to hold off physically whenever you got down on yourself. There was a certain level of affection that Alexia had gotten used to with you, and for you to suddenly close yourself off completely left her confused and hurt. For you to kiss her like that while you were upset felt like a huge step, one that Alexia hoped she could use to get you to open up about what in particular had caused you to spiral this time.

"I don't know why you would ever think that you weren't everything that I've ever wanted for myself and more. Would you tell me if someone said something to you that made you think otherwise?" Alexia asked. She had learned very quickly to look out for you. Her family loved you, even if there were a few members who had been fond of exes and believed that those had been the right choices for Alexia. It wasn't an easy decision, but Alexia had lessened contact with them for the time being.

"It's not like before, it's stupid. I just need to stay away from my phone for a while, that's all." You had hoped that mumbling your way through your words would have kept Alexia from understanding you, but of course, that hadn't worked. Alexia knew what to listen for, and you could see her face fall. She blamed herself, just like you knew that she would. Alexia wanted to protect you from everything, and she took it personally whenever she 'slipped up' and something upset you.

"We can both working on being more present," Alexia decided. You were glad that she didn't go in on herself about not catching anything wrong earlier. She pressed a quick kiss to your forehead as she pulled you into her arms to cuddle. You hadn't been sleeping overly well despite spending all day in bed, so you quickly fell asleep in Alexia's arms.

…

Alexia could tell that while she had managed to pull you out of your own head long enough to get you to dinner with her mother and sister, her work was far from finished. You were no stranger to the stereotype that the Spanish were affectionate, you were a pretty big part of that, but Alexia was the outlier. She didn't necessarily have trouble being affectionate, but she wasn't as naturally friendly as Jenni or Leila tended to be.

As she looked at your mood begin to drop again, she decided to take a page from their books. Alexia knew how much the simplest gestures could mean to you, and maybe she was feeling a little brave after a few glasses of wine (and the shots that Alba managed to sneak in without their mother noticing.) Alexia held onto one of your hands, occasionally bringing it up to her lips to kiss.

"You and Alba have got to stop doing shots while you're doing dishes," you laughed. Alexia scoffed, but didn't deny that had been what they were doing. You were free to know that as long as you kept your mouth shut about it to other people.

"I love you. Is it illegal for me to show you that now?" Alexia asked, a bit snarkier than usual. You bit your lip as you looked over to see her pouting. You sighed and pressed a kiss to her cheek as you rolled up to a stoplight. "You look really good tonight."

"Oh, so you're loving on me because you're horny. Okay, got it," you teased. Alexia stammered and stuttered to defend yourself until you gave her another kiss. From that point on, Alexia spent the rest of the car ride trying to kiss your neck. You were glad that nobody seemed to be out because you did not want some random person to catch the two of you like that. "Alright, hands to yourself until we get in the apartment, got it?"

"Bossy, I kind of like it." You gave Alexia a glare until she agreed to listen to you. It came as a genuine surprise when Alexia did keep her hands and mouth to herself. The only time she touched you was to steady herself as the two of you walked down the hallway towards your front door.

You had partially expected for Alexia to be all over you before the door was even shut, but instead, she just calmly led you back into your bedroom. Alexia kept you in your dress, but took her jacket off and started to unbutton her shirt as she made her way over to the bed. You knew that Alexia liked your dress a lot, but you honestly wanted to get out of it as soon as you could.

"Are you going to pout if I don't let you take this off of me?" you asked her. Alexia shook her head as she rolled her sleeves up a little. You bit your lip as you watched the muscles in her forearms flex. "On second thought, Ale can you get the back of my dress. I don't think I can reach."

"Of course, I can. Anything to help you," Alexia muttered as she sat up on her knees. She knelt at the edge of the bed to help you undo the back of your dress. You could feel her eyes on your skin just moments before she just decided to do what she had clearly been wanting to all night.

You shivered at the initial feeling of her mouth against yours. Alexia slowly pushed your dress off of your body, trailing kisses down your back as the fabric fell. You stepped out of the dress and turned around, cradling the back of Alexia's head. She looked up at you as her hands grabbed your hips to pull you onto her body.

"Ale!" you squealed as she flipped you onto your back. You let out a sigh at the press of her body against yours, something that you had been missing in a while. Alexia had been busy, as had you, so there hadn't been room for much other than a quickie here or there. Neither of you wanted to pressure the other for intimacy, so both of you had just sort of let it happen.

"You look good, and obviously I haven't been showing you how much I love you enough. We don't have to do this if you don't want to, but please don't ice me out." You didn't think that you had ever heard Alexia speak to you like that. She was borderline pleading with you, and you knew that it wasn't just for sex. Alexia probably couldn't have cared less whether or not she got laid. What she did care about was showing you every bit of love and affection that she could.

"O-okay, I want this too. I really do, I'm just a little nervous I guess," you told her. Alexia seemed to really take that to heart as she leaned in to kiss you. The kiss was soft and sweet, and Alexia waited for you to pull her in to deepen it. Your lips parted for Alexia's tongue.

You and Alexia shared several more kisses before your neediness set in. Alexia only pushed things on your cue. You pushed at her shoulders, furthering her path down your body. Alexia lingered at a few places, lathering your breasts with kisses. You tried to subtly wriggle out of your underwear to avoid ruining the pair, but Alexia's body on top of yours made it a bit difficult.

"Is something wrong?" Alexia asked as you started to push her off of you a little. With her sitting up now, you were able to pull your underwear down your legs. Alexia looked at you with a somewhat unimpressed look, but it quickly left as her attention was turned to your cunt.

"I was hot." You let out a soft chuckle, one that was interrupted by Alexia's fingers tweaking your nipples. Her fingers continued to pinch and tease while she feverishly kissed you. The kiss was a bit messy, even with Alexia trying to show a bit of restraint with you.

Even your most seemingly romantic sex didn't come with such caution. There was a bit more obvious passion, but you knew that Alexia's love for you was coming through her care. She didn't want to rush you, even if your body was starting to crave the faster pacing.

You held out on begging or pushing Alexia too quickly, and your reward was plentiful. Alexia held onto both of your hands as she ate you out. Her tongue lapped up the juices of your arousal in between its calculated assault on your clit. Alexia alternated between flicking her tongue against your clit and sucking the bud into her mouth.

"Fuck! Ale, please don't stop! Baby, I'm so close," you cried out. Alexia kept her efforts steady, not breaking her rhythm for anything. Your hips were moving wildly against her face, riding her hard enough to nearly break her nose. Alexia stayed strong until your hands stopped holding onto hers.

"I. Love. You." Alexia placed a kiss to your thigh between each of her words. You glanced down to see her lips glistening with your wetness.

"C'mere," you mumbled. Alexia moved from between your legs and leaned against the pillows next to you. You lazily reached up and pulled her down for a kiss, slowly licking the remnants of yourself from her lips.

"Fuck," Alexia groaned. You gave her a couple of sweet kisses after that before you dropped your hands and curled up to lay in her lap. "I know that won't magically fix everything, but do you feel any better?"

"Yeah, I do. Thank you for looking out for me Ale. I love you," you told her.

"I love you too," Alexia whispered as she ran her hands through your hair. You laid like that for a couple of moments before you started to get cold and moved to cover yourself up. Alexia didn't even seem to notice, having drifted off to sleep without even fully laying down yet.

[ot3]

top 10 pokemon that are girls

'gender'.... much like 'animals' this is a concept from our world that has made itself present in the pokemon franchise. all pokemon began having genders (except for the ones that don't) in the second generation of games, in order to facilitate the pokemon breeding mechanic which has become a staple of the main series

you may think this means the issue of which pokemon are girls and which ones aren't is already settled. but do we really trust game freak to be the deciding voices on this one? i certainly don't. so here's a nonexhaustive look at some pokemon that are doing their best to be role models for young women everywhere who have been picking up and enjoying these games for decades.

#10 - NIDORAN♀

Not only is Nidoran♀ canonically a girl, she is the first pokemon to be canonically a girl as the gender distinction between Nidoran types predates the introduction of gen 2's breeding system that gendered all pokemon. she broke the glass ceiling, and for this we salute her.

#9 - KANGASKHAN

Both culturally and in media single mothers are subject to a lot of scrutiny and scorn, but kangaskhan breaks the mold. powerful, responsible, yet loving and joy-filled. the look on her baby's face tells us all we need to know; she holds on tight to the pouch, clinging to the safety she knows her mother can give her, but gazes awestruck and wide-eyed at the world around her, knowing its wonders will be there waiting for her as soon as she feels ready for it.

#8 - CELESTEELA

Technically, celesteela's gender is 'unknown', but it's obvious that celesteela represents what life can look like for a woman who truly has it all. As one of the largest and heaviest pokemon ever discovered, she's not afraid to take up space. she doesn't feel the need to soften herself to be more accepted by the world around her, but she's also comfortable enough with her feminine side to let it shine through where and when she wants. nobody tells her how to live her life but her and also she has big lazers

#7 - MISMAGIUS

Well she's not called MISTER magius now, is she?

#6 - LYCANROC

Perfect embodiment of the wolfgirl you knew (or, perhaps were?) in middleschool. There are many doglike/canine pokemon in the dex, but something about lycanroc's exaggerated unkempt mane and lanky, awkward posture evokes the physicality of a teenager who exists as a beast beyond the boundaries of her own body.

#5 - CHIKORITA

This saultry little binch...

#4 - RAYQUAZA

It's an uncomfortable truth in life that many women find themselves in the position of needing to play the mediator in order to stop the people around them from acting in destructive or harmful ways. But just because mediating conflict can be a difficult and unfair position to be put into, that doesn't mean it's a bad thing. Rayquaza just goes to show us all everywhere how a real woman can still thrive under these circumstances, doing her best to build a more peaceful world while not letting that push her into the shadows or make her take a back seat in her own life. she is a community leader and an innovator.

#3 - SALAZZLE

She's the archetypal femme fatale. A dominatrix. A baddie. Does she make me uncomfortable? Yes, absolutely. But I'm not a furry so I'm not really the target audience of what's happening here.

#2 - SLAKING

I know so many butches who look exactly like her. you love to see it.

#1 - MEWTWO

as one feminist philosopher has said: "I see now that the circumstances of one's birth is irrelevant, it is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are."

I think any woman living in a patriarchal society can sympathize with mewtwo's story. enraged at being treated like the property of the people who created her rather than her own fully realized person, she goes on a rampage where it quickly becomes obvious that she is even more powerful than that what she was originally created in the image of. Although this takes her down a dark path, she eventually learns to self-actualize by working on herself rather than pointlessly lashing out at people who had nothing to do with hurting her. it's empowering stuff. doubly empowering because she killed all those clowns who DID hurt her

now, of course, there are plenty more pokemon that are girls than just what i've listed here today. but i hope youve learned a little something from this.

[buttercandy16]

Betrayal

PAIRING: Agatha Harkness x Reader

SUMMARY: The reader is heartbroken and finds comfort in the arms of her best friend.

Or who betrayed who...

WARNING(s): Cheating, manipulation, and a whole lot of SMUT.

A/N: My fixation for this woman is just unhealthy and I'm loving it. Enjoy!

Y/N POV

"The day we met was the day I was no longer a man of my own because from that very moment I surrendered myself to you and you alone, my Y/N. " 

Those were the exact words that my beloved husband said to me during our wedding vows. The words that made me feel like I was the luckiest woman alive… not until now.

Greg looks so handsome when he smiles, the way his eyes disappear with such mirth. Especially right now as he dances, swaying his body to the rhythm of the music. He's not really a fan of dancing but he tried it for me because he knew how much I love dancing, it made me feel special. But now as I watch him do exactly what I had originally thought he'd only do for me, with another woman nestled intimately between his arms made me realize that I wasn't as special as I thought I was. 

The way he dances is so much better than how he used to as if he's been doing this for some time now. I originally thought the reason why he's been coming home late was due to his busy work schedule because that's exactly what he's been telling me, I guess I was wrong.

My husband is no longer mine alone…

Tears silently streamed down my cheeks unnoticed as I willed myself to turn away from the scene that turned my world upside down…

The moment I went inside my car that's when all hell broke loose. I screamed and screamed until my throat felt raw and scratched while banging my fists against the wheel. 

Cursing his name for the lies, cursing him for the promises, and cursing him for causing me the most excruciating pain I have ever felt in my life.

My heart feels like it has been punctured a million times over by tiny pins. It stings at first, but now it feels as if they’ve left me numb, not even slightly painful, just numb. 

How could he do this to me? How could he cheat on me and throw years of marriage into the dust as if it meant nothing?! I gave him everything, I fully surrendered myself to him without reserve as I thought he would do the same to me… oh how wrong I was… 

I cried even harder just thinking of his betrayal but I was also starting to panic as I felt my chest constrict, making it difficult for me to breathe.

Damn asthma…

I looked through my bag for my inhaler, but it was not there. The panic and lack of air drove me to start gasping, breathing as if the oxygen had been sucked from the air around me.

I clumsily grabbed my phone and dialed the first person I could think of at this dire moment. 

After the final ring, I immediately spoke before the woman on the other line had the chance with labored breaths.

"A-agatha… I need you, please."

"Y/N? What's going on? Where are you? Are you hurt?" Despite the buzzing in my head and wheezing from my chest I can still hear the urgency and worry in her voice as she spewed one question over another. 

"Ha-hades Den�� please hu-hurry. Can't breathe." I stuttered through the desperate sobs that left my lips, alerting the woman in the other line even more.

"Hades Den? The dance studio? I'll be there as fast as I can, just be somewhere safe and stay on the line with me." Agatha instructed but I could barely hear anything she was saying as I struggled to control my breathing. With my hands cold and shaking I accidentally let go of my phone making it fall next to the pedals.

"Sweetheart? Hey, I'm on the road right now. Hello? Are you still there? Y/N? Please answer me, you're gonna give me a heart attack!"

Already my thoughts were becoming jumbled like I was in a nightmare. Without uttering another sound the side of my face met the tinted window as darkness overtook my vision and my eyes closed.

_=_=_

Not really knowing how long I was out when I was suddenly jolted from my position when the door opened and I fell into the arms of my best friend who without a doubt caught me safely in her arms.

"Oh my God! Y/N!! What happened to you?!" Agatha asked worriedly.

I clung to Agatha’s arms as she helped me out of my car. She held an inhaler to my lips and I immediately took a puff, holding it in for a count of four before slowly expelling the air that tasted of chemicals. It was kinda bitter really, but after so long with asthma, I had come to associate it with easier breathing and so in a weird sort of way I liked it. Agatha put the cap back on the inhaler and jammed it deep into her pocket.

"Ho-how did you know I needed that?" I asked.

"We've known each other since we were teens, sweetheart, I'm fully aware whenever my best friend is having an asthma attack."

One of her hands kept me balanced while the other one cradled the side of my face trying to get a glimpse of my eyes.

The moment our eyes met I could see my reflection in her beautiful blue orbs, and I looked exactly like how I felt…  like shit… making me release another stream of tears down my cheeks.

"Sweetheart, please tell me. What happened?" she worriedly asked again while wiping my tears off with her thumb.

I couldn't really tell her at the moment, I just wanted to get out of here.

"Take me away, please" I softly begged, my voice barely a whisper but I knew she heard me as understanding can be seen in her eyes. 

She gently guided me towards the passenger seat of her car and put my seatbelt on me before settling on the driver's seat.

"I'll call someone to drive your car home," she informed me, I softly nodded in response. I leaned my head to the side of the window with my eyes closed as Agatha drove off away from the studio, away from my cheating husband.

_-_-_ 

"Y/N, wake up. We're here."

I woke up to Agatha's face close to mine as she gently shook me awake.

I was a little bit startled by how close her face was to mine, it was so close that I could feel her breath gently caress my cheek.

"U-um… okay," I gulped nervously, she only smiled before getting out of the car.

Surveying my surroundings, that's when I realized that she brought me to her house.

Agatha opened the door for me and gently took my hand in hers to assist me, leading me inside her humble abode.

Once inside the house, I was met with silence. Too quiet for what I was used to.

"Where’s Nicky?" I asked curiously as I sat down on the sofa while she disappeared to the kitchen.

"Nicky is having a sleepover with his friends. I also gave the staff some days off so it's just us here," she explained, coming back to me with a tray of water and alcohol.

"Alcohol?"

"I have a feeling we're gonna be needing it" she smiled mischievously before turning serious.

"So… are you gonna tell me what happened or should I play the guessing game?" she asked while pouring me a glass of expensive scotch.

"Greg." uttering his name leaves a bitter taste on my tongue. Much more bitter than the alcohol that I'm currently pouring down my throat.

"What's wrong with your husband?" Agatha asked while taking a sip from her glass.

"He's cheating on me."

Shock and disbelief painted Agatha’s face, while I tried my best to keep my tears from falling.

"You're kidding."

"I can assure you I'm not, I saw it with my own two eyes."

As Agatha sat there in shock, she laid it on heavy. "I told you he was no good! He is nothing but a cheating bastard!" After a breath, she continued, "He was never good enough for you anyway." Agatha’'s words rang true as my world started to fall apart.

Finally, I looked up with tears in my eyes asking, "What do I do? Leave him?"

Agatha doesn't even hesitate, "Hell yes! He doesn't deserve someone special like you."

I just sat and listened to whatever Agatha has to say as well as getting a little too deep with the alcohol consumption.

"You see, sweetheart, men like Greg are like damn leeches that suck the life from anything they come in contact with. He doesn't deserve an angel like you." she said with such seriousness which actually made me giggle a bit despite everything, probably because I'm getting really tipsy. I'm also starting to believe every word that comes out from her luscious red lips… 

Wait, What the hell am I thinking?!

I shook my head trying to get these… Um...weird thoughts about my best friend's kissable lips and what they probably taste like.

Arghh!!  What the hell brain?!

"Hey, are you alright?" Agatha looked at me as if I've grown two heads on the spot, which made me blush out of embarrassment. 

"Ye-yeah… Sorry… I'm getting a little too tipsy." I mumbled before getting up from the spot, which was a bad move since I lost my balance and fell backward into Agatha's lap.

"Well, this is comfortable" Agatha smirked as she wrapped her arms securely around my waist which only brought more blood flowing through my cheeks.

"A-agatha what are you doing?" I asked while trying to get her hands off me but failed miserably. She only laughed at my attempts and I was starting to get irritated not until I felt her warm lips softly pressed against my nape.

I went completely rigid from the contact, breath hitching, and my mind running wild with what the hell is going on.

"Is something wrong?" Agatha asks with a grin plastered on her face.

"N-nothing." I stuttered back to her.

Oh god, what do I do?!

"Are you sure? You seem a little flustered. Especially when you were eyeing my lips minutes ago" she asks before pausing, "It's as if you have been thinking of doing something with them."

"Agatha, I... I can explain." I tried to argue, yet I had no argument in my head.

"No need to, I understand. I've wondered for a very long time how your lips would taste as well," she whispered next to my ear. Her breath tickles my now sensitive skin.

Before I could react I felt Agatha's hand on my arm, I almost jumped out of my skin.

"Why don't we stop this little game," Agatha says, bringing her hand to my chin and making me look into her burning blue eyes, "And just… Give… In."

Oh my god! What should I do? This is so wrong.

"That's enough Agatha. I don’t want that and you won't speak to me like this any longer. I’m not like you… I’m not into women and married.”

"We both know that’s a lie,” Agatha whispered, and I watched as my best friend's hands moved to the buttons of my shirt. I could only watch her playing with it, slowly unbuttoning it one by one. "I think you do want it… In fact, I think you're deeply curious about it. You know I can treat you better, and make you feel even better than any man could."

"Aggie..." I went to protest.

"Shhhh." She whispers to interrupt me.

Frozen in my place, I was helpless to simply watch as my childhood best friend now fully unbuttoned my shirt. Her soft, slender hands move to the inside and effortlessly start to push the shirt to the side, exposing just a little of my bare skin.

"Give in, pet. Let your curiosity run wild" Agatha whispers.

My gaze meets her's, her soft lips smiling back at me as I feel soft fingertips running against my skin.

That's when I decided to surrender myself to this gorgeous woman holding me.

In a smooth and quick motion, Agatha pushes the shirt and it falls over. Only being held up by my arms, yet now my front body was fully on show. Wearing just a lace push-up bra, I remained still as Agatha's fingertips continued to explore my body.

 "Do you like it when I touch your body like this?"

Oh god, please help me.

"Y-yes." I stuttered back, closing my eyes as goosebumps appeared all over my body.

Knowing that I was losing control of myself.

She smoothly moved her head forward, her soft, delicious lips ever so slightly brushing against my ear as she whispers in the most seductive of tones.

"Does it feel good baby?"

"I...I....I..." I stuttered back, not being able to speak.

Closing my eyes and feeling Agatha’s warm breath on my ear makes my legs feel like jelly. I can already tell that my warmth is absolutely soaked.

Her hands explored my back and found their way to my bra strap.

"Cat got your tongue?" She whispers into my ear, her tongue slightly leaving her mouth and licking my ear lobe.

I gasped out loud.

My bra strap was unhooked. Pulling her head back, Agatha’s face was filled with joy as she kept a hold of the bra and pulled it back and off my body.

My body, no longer fighting any of Agatha's advancements allowing her to remove my bra, now sitting with my breasts on show.

With a slow movement, Agatha cups my right breast. Slowly playing with it, she flicks her thumb over the nipple over and over.

"Ooohh." I accidentally moan, my legs feeling weak beneath me.

"Do you like that?" Agatha whispers.

"Y-yes," I whispered back.

She continued to play with my nipple in her hand, knowing that I will soon be too far gone to turn back.

"What about this?"

My eyes were wide open in shock and a gasp escaped my lips as Agatha swiftly laid me on my back on the sofa while she hovered over my flushed body. She didn't waste any time and moved her head forward, her soft, plump lips landing around my nipple. Her wet tongue comes out and flicks it, running around in small circles.

I can't stop myself from letting out soft moans, my nipples have always been my weak point. As I looked down at Agatha’s soft dark hair, feeling her tongue playing with my nipple my legs begin to squirm.

She sucks on my nipple and nibbles down on it with her teeth.

"Oooohh." I moaned louder.

"Aggie, this is wrong." I panted out weakly.

"Yet, here we are," Agatha says, giving one last lick before pulling her mouth away. Keeping her hand on my breast, I feel like she had me lying here forever. "Why are you fighting this?" She asks.

Her hand pulls away from my breast. Just when I thought it might be over, Agatha’s hand returns softly to my pants-covered thigh. Instinctively, I slightly opened it and allowed my best friend's hand to run between them, ever so slowly getting closer and closer to my center.

Finally reaching it, she popped off the button and inserted her hand inside my pants, gave my warmth a slow rub from outside my underwear, and whispered.

"Why are you so wet?"

"I.... don't know." I tried to think of an answer but my mind is somewhere else.

"Hmmm… I think you do know. It's because you want this… need this…" Agatha pushed my underwear to one side; she easily slid one finger knuckle deep inside of my drenched warmth.

"Oooohhh." I moaned, biting down on my lip.

"Am I right, baby?." Agatha whispers, arching her finger inside my warmth, rubbing against my G-spot.

"Ooooh god." I moaned louder, closing my eyes and allowing myself to be fingered right here in my best friend's living room.

My head is a mess, the pure pleasure coming from Agatha's finger just increases when she easily pushes a second finger inside and perfectly hits my G-spot.

"Answer me, Y/N," Agatha demanded.

"Yyyyeesss." I moaned out in pure ecstasy.

"Yes, what?" She asks with a smile, knowing she had me where she wanted me.

"Yes, I want it," I said firmly, opening my eyes and staring at her beautiful face.

This spurred her to increase the pace of her fingering.

"Yes!" I moaned over and over, my G-spot getting hit by her amazing fingers.

"Good," Agatha says firmly and pulls her fingers out of my warmth, "Let's take this to the bedroom."

I know I should stop this, deep down I know this is wrong and that this can only end badly. But right now, I was no longer thinking with reason.

"Okay," I whispered.

She grabbed my hand and led me to her bedroom.

Finally, in the room, she shuts the door before sitting on the bed.

"Take off your underwear," Agatha commanded.

Not speaking, I bent over and pushed my underwear off. Now standing completely naked, by choice, in front of my best friend.

"Come sit next to me."

Sitting down, we stared at each other. For a moment, thinking of what is about to happen made my body almost shaking with excitement.

Agatha’s hand appeared on my thigh and once again instinctively I opened them. Her fingertip moves to my swollen clit.

"Oh god..." I gasped. Looking her dead in the eyes as she slowly massages my clit, sending so much pleasure throughout my body.

As my breathing gets heavier and heavier, my legs begin to twitch from every flick of Agatha's finger.

Not being able to control myself any longer, I moved my head forward and captured Agatha's lips with mine. Savoring her cherry-flavored chapstick.

As our kiss deepens, her fingers move faster on my clit making my legs twitch from pleasure.

My hand started to explore Agatha's body, caressing with such gentleness and sensuality. Landing my hand on her thigh, I gripped it tightly as I could feel myself nearing my release but before it reached that point, Agatha suddenly pulled her hand away from my aching warmth, making me whine in frustration.

Stopping the kiss, I stared at her in confusion. But before I could say anything she placed her fingers on my mouth and pushed it in, making me taste my arousal. It was divine…

With the combination of alcohol and pure lust burning through my system, I began to suck on her fingers as if they were a lolly whilst staring into her eyes, making her groan in approval.

The moment my mouth left her fingers, Agatha stood up and undressed with such speed I could barely process how she did it, but here she is now completely bare for me to see and worship.

I was still sitting on the edge of the bed when Agatha gently straddled me, our naked chests deliciously pressing against each other.

She grabbed my head and held it just inches away from hers, staring at each other's eyes.

"Touch me," She ordered.

Not having to be told twice, my hand goes to her smooth warmth which is just as wet as her own. With ease, I pushed my index finger inside and started to rub it against Agatha's G-spot.

"Ohhh yes!" She moans loudly. She looks down at herself fingering me whilst I fingered her. Looking back up we moaned in unison.

"Oh fuck yes!" Agatha moans out, pushing in to kiss me hard as the two of us finger each other.

This continues for a few minutes, each of our moans growing louder and louder.

"Lie down on your back baby," Agatha instructed as she pulled away from me. I was so close to my release but didn't mind it one bit for I was more than excited about what was to come next.

Lying down flat, I watched as she parted my legs and began kissing slowly up to the insides of my thighs.

She went closer and closer to my warmth until it was staring directly at her.

I turned red as a tomato as I saw how Agatha looked at my warmth, she was looking at it as if she wanted to devour it.

"Beautiful," she whispered and slowly moved forward.

Her tongue pushed inside of me and tasted my nectar. With her eyes closed, she explored my warmth. I can feel her running her tongue up and down my soft lips. In and out of my hole before finally reaching my throbbing clit.

"Mmmmm yes!" I moaned when Agatha's tongue first flicked my clit.

The way she was looking at me right now made everything so much hotter, and with it, a moan left my lips.

Agatha moaned back before getting her tongue back onto my sensitive clit.

"Don't stop,”

I slowly started to grind my warmth back and forth on Agatha's eager tongue.

My legs were spread wide, accepting the finger fucking in my warmth as the sound of my juices filled the room.

"Mmmmmm! A-aggie… I'm close.”

"You want to cum all over my face, baby? You want to cum on your best friend's face?" Agatha moaned but didn't even give me a chance to reply when her hands gripped my thigh firmly and in one quick motion slid her fingers knuckle deep into my tight, dripping warmth.

"AGATHAA!!!" I screamed out in pure pleasure and arched my back as my warmth flooded over Agatha's face. An earth-shattering orgasm wrecked my body over and over again.

As my body carries on shaking as my orgasm slowly dies down, Agatha, still hooked on my delicious warmth, carries on licking me, lapping up every drop of cum as she can while continuously she fingers my overstimulated warmth.

"Agatha, stop." I panted out, feeling too sensitive after cumming.

"Just one more, baby. Give me one more." She coos, with her words I screamed as my second orgasm was ripped from me. This time squirting all over my best friend's face and soaking the silk sheets that she shares with her wife. The taste of my sweet release on her tongue, and the magnificent sight of me squirting was too much for Agatha, making her cum hard with a primal moan.

After cleaning my warmth with her tongue she sits to the side and just stares at me with a beautiful smile on her face, looking quite proud of herself. I can see my juice dripping from her chin and some still glossing her lips which she seductively licks with her tongue, while her eyes are devouring mine.

What a sight…

She starts to slide her fingers around my lips. The fingers that were just in my warmth.

"Mmmm." I moaned as I happily took them into my mouth before her fingers were replaced with her soft lips.

Our lips parted before staring deeply into each other's eyes. All I could see in her eyes was pure admiration, desire, and…love?

"You're mine now, sweet thing, and I will not let anyone come in between us… never again." She whispered before gathering me into her arms with my head resting on her chest.

Her words ring inside my head, but I find myself loving the idea of being with Agatha, not quite processing the last part of her declaration which I gladly dismissed. All I can think about is that she wants me to be hers, and that made me feel like the whole damn zoo was having a party inside my tummy.

"Yours" I softly whispered with a bright smile on my face.

For a few minutes, we just both laid there basking in each other's warmth in silence. The smell and taste of my release filled our senses, and the room itself. It was the last thing my mind processed before letting sleep take me into the arms of my new lover.

_=_=_

It was a little before 11 pm when I pulled into the garage of my mansion, a mansion I share with my cheating husband. Thinking about it should've still made me feel bad, but that wasn't the case anymore. Because all I can ever think about the moment I left Agatha's home was her touches, kisses, and sweet words that she constantly whispered in my ears.

I came in the door a bit tired from the earlier activities but with a glowing smile still etched on my face. I set my bag and jacket on the kitchen table before I saw Greg eagerly enter the living room and stopped dead in his tracks when he saw me. "Wow, honey, you...you look glowing."

I just smiled a wicked little before answering in a slightly snarky tone. "Oh, thanks, honey."

If only you knew how I got this glow…

"Where have you been? I've been calling your phone non-stop but you weren't answering. I was so worried." Greg said, his voice raw with worry.

Getting fucked by my best friend in a much better way than you'd ever could… no biggie. I wish I could say these words out loud but I did my best to refrain from doing so, instead, I went into acting mode.

"Oh, I'm so sorry hon. I forgot my phone in my car. I was with Agatha the whole time, and well, we got busy…so busy that the time completely slipped my mind." I explained with my most convincing voice.

You cheating bastard don't deserve a single damn explanation from me, but I'll play your game, Greg… just for the kick of it.

"Well, I'm just glad you're home safe and sound. By the way, I have a surprise for you. I know I've been really busy lately, but I want to make it up to you tomorrow night."

"Oh, that's nice," I answered, not overly excited but still kept on indulging him.

"And to celebrate the anniversary of our marriage, maybe even a bigger surprise for you. I learned to dance." Greg happily announced, I on the other hand am confused as hell.

Shit, I didn't even realize the date for tomorrow is our anniversary. At that moment, Greg stepped toward me, pulled me in, and waltzed with me a few steps. While we danced, he said, "I have been taking lessons twice a week. I know I am no expert dancer, but I wanted to do this for you. I even have reservations for us."

I continued moving with Greg, my eyes wide and in shock as my mind started to spin. I suddenly stopped and just stood there. All I could think was 'this can't be. There is no way it was just dancing. He was cheating on me. He had to be cheating on me.' I had tears streaming down my face as I thought of what I had done earlier.

"Honey, I also took the liberty of buying the dress you saw last week when we went to the mall. I know it's a big surprise but we have all night to dance the night away." I was in shock as I continued to stare at him. And all I could ask is, "How?"

"Well, it wasn't easy. About two months ago, I was talking with Agatha, and I was saying how I wanted to do something big like learn to dance. She said she knew someone who offers dance lessons. So, for a week during lunch, we would work on a few basics in my office. Then, we progressed to going out dancing every Tuesday and Thursday at Hades Den, the dance studio. I invited my dance instructor and her fiancé to join us. I thought I owed them a nice night out after how helpful they have been. I'm so glad Agatha managed to keep it from you, I made her swear not to, so the surprise won't be spoiled. I was quite shocked since we both know she can't even keep a secret." Greg chuckled.

Hearing Agatha's name was enough to snap me out of my trance, "A-agtha knew?"

"Oh, she more than knew. She knows all about the entire plan. Sometimes she'd go to Hades den to make sure I'm progressing. Your best friend really wants the best for you, she's a gem. You're so lucky to have her in your life, in our life."

My mind started racing, and my breathing was getting shallower with every second that passed by. Greg saw this and immediately ran to my bag and grabbed my inhaler.

No… no… this can't be true…this can't be true. It doesn't make any sense… why would Agatha keep this… Agatha lied… she lied… and then she seduced me… we fucked… Greg never cheated… Agatha knew… we fucked… Greg didn't cheat… But I did… I cheated… I'm the cheater and not Greg… I cheated…

My mind was in jumbles as Greg placed the inhaler on my lips asking me to open my mouth… but I don't think I want to… I wanna drown in this asthma and just die on the spot.

Tears streamed down my cheeks as the feeling of guilt and betrayal started to eat me whole. My husband's worried voice feels like a faraway echo, as my mind is consumed by one question.

Agatha… What did you make me do?

_=_=_

Please don’t forget to like, repost, comment, and follow!! It helps boost motivation, lol.

[lebensmudewing]

Men don't care about the facts

I once met a die hard misogynist who also hated men

He refused to date women and made a lot of efforst to not have any kind of relationship with them. To talk to him I had to wait two weeks since he was doing a vow of silence to not talk to any women.

He told me he left an english academia, because a woman started to talk to him and trying to hang out with him. Of course, I don't talk to him anymore.

He was and as far as I know still is, a genuine MGTOW. He just left women alone and minded his business. But he wasn't a high IQ successful six figures as MGTOW swear all men can become if they stop dating women. He usually drove while drunk, didn't had a career or a real job, lived with mom and dad and had a family completely progressive and contrary to his values. He also used to bet.

His misogyny was rampant, inflammatory and sophisticated. But he also seemed to hate men. He had a huge prejudice against men, he said that they are predatory, inherently selfish and violent.

But there was a major difference, he also believed that men are superior, that men are smarter, more beautiful, with mind and soul. So every bad characteristic had to be forgiven, while women had to be tightly controlled and punished.

And he acted accordingly, when I showed him a clip of a woman being harassed, it was her fault. If the woman rejected the man and the man exploded violently, it was her fault for not rejecting him nicely. If the woman tried to be polite and still molested, it was her fault for not being more clear.

He was aware of the constant damned if you do, damned if you don't rethoric and didn't have a problem with it. It was part of the principles, because women had to be punished and put on their place. Logic and fairness were not a problem for him, in fact, I believe that for him women had to endure the mistreatment since they were inferior.

Nowadays, everytime I see men talking about women online I see that man talking. It's always the same, doesn't matter who say it, with what words, the nuances of it. It all comes from the same place and it's the same game. Logic doesn't matter, facts don't matter, fairness doesn't matter.

I feel frustated everytime I see women online trying to educate men and respond to them. I understand the importance of counteract male bullshit stories, but everything seems to operate from men's frame. It's us responding to them, instead of them trying to convince us.

For example, the idea that men are entitled to fuck around a lot of women and demand a virgin bride. Everyone ask, well if all women have to remain virgin till marriage, with whom those men will have sex? And I can't help but feel that this is a loser move.

Men don't care about the maths, they care about what benefits them. If when young they feel like fucking around and then later they feel like settling and don't find the promised virgin wife, then it's not "my behavior was wrong" or "I have contributed to the problem", is a "women are the problem and society has to fix it for me". They are not thinking long term, they think it what they want now.

It is not a lack of math what makes them think this way, for them the pieces of the puzzle are fitting perfectly. Women have to gatekeep, be submissive, not think in their own desires and try to please them. They have a whole fantasy around being a kind of predator or a seductor who has conquered the virgin innocent women and has corrupted her, making her impure and damaged. They want to spend their lifes doing that and then settle with women who could not be conquered before.

Their whole self steem and validation relies on that. If a woman wants it and seek it, then they are not worth as much, since they don't have to put any effort or force. It's cheap and easy. If a woman has been with others before, then he is below those men.

It's perfectly logical for them, actually. When they become fathers, they still see themselves as part of the puzzle. Men who want to conquer his daughter have to conquer him too.

Of course, this take doesn't apply to all men perfectly, but all of them have a version of this idea. It seems inherent to men. Men who are succesful with women are sexist but benevolent and men who are not are hostile and misogynistic. Men who are good with women are good because they are getting validation from them, not because they are moral deconstructed people with strong feminist values.

They can't think of women as people by default, their view on them is conditioned on how they see themselves and what they have obtained from women. Their narratives and ideas stem from this, they don't respond to any external logic, their internal clock is right everytime of the year and your facts and math can't and won't change that.

It is said that if women would start act differently, men will act accordingly. I see more truth on it, but it won't solve everything. Not only because of the male allies, but because men will still act whitin their frame. If all women start to reject men, an unknown number of men will act from their entitlement and could literally kill us before seeking inside or listening to women about what they actually want. If women start to set the standard high and only reproduce with decent men, a lot of men will be excluded and will protest and sabotage.

Their firmware remains the same, they are superior, they worth more, they are entitled to you, you owe them something. It's not possible to reason a man out of that, so stop trying wasting your time and mental health on it. If they wanted to reach out, they would and they don't.

[bambisworlds]

the winter soldier's weakness

bucky and y/n have been free from Hydra for two years, trying to make a life of their own. but that becomes a struggle when bucky is framed for a bombing (3,036 word count)

*I'll probably make this into a series :)

content warnings, mdni 18+

both bucky and user are victims of hydra, violence, husband!bucky, telekinetic!reader, telepathic!reader, established relationship, PTSD struggles, brief mention of sexual assault, kidnapping, psychological and physical torture, angst, let me know if i forgot anything x

Bucky and Y/n have been free from Hydra for nearly two years and are beginning to build their own lives. When Hydra took Bucky in the 1940s, they couldn't get him to break in the way they wanted. They weren't able to remove his humanity entirely. No matter how often they wiped his mind, Bucky never forgot his wife. His mind clung to her memory, and they knew they couldn't control him without her.

Growing up, Steve, Bucky, and Y/n were a trio—best friends. They were inseparable. But as time passed and they got older, Bucky and Y/n's friendship became romantic. Bucky and Y/n married shortly before Bucky was sent off to war.

Hydra kidnapped Y/n from her and Bucky's home in Brooklyn and began running experiments on her shortly after Bucky was brought into their containment. She developed similar abilities as Wanda Maximoff, but her power was inconsequential compared to what Wanda would come to be. Nevertheless, they used Y/n as a bargaining chip to get The Winter Soldier to cooperate; they made her his partner on his missions. Or, they would threaten to kill her if he didn't complete the missions he was sent on. Even in the dark ocean that was The Winter Soldier's mind, his subconscious still clung to his love for Y/n.

Y/n never became a hardened killer like Bucky; she, too, clung to her humanity. But she knew if she refused to complete her orders, she would be tortured or killed. Or worse, they would torture Bucky to punish her.

Y/n had been sent with Bucky when instructed to kill Steve Rogers and prevent him from stopping the Heli carrier launch. So, when all was said and done, Bucky dragged Steve and Y/n from the river. He left Steve behind but scooped Y/n up in his arms and set off with her. However, Steve doesn't know that the woman with Bucky is Y/n because she wears a mask like Bucky.

Ever since, the two have been trying to put the pieces of their new life together while overcoming their PTSD and mind control. They wanted to start over and be good people. The longer they went without getting their minds wiped, the more memories from their life together in the 1940s came back. All they wanted was to live a semi-normal life as husband and wife and leave their life with Hydra behind them.

Y/n and Bucky were having a typical day, or their version of normal, when they saw an article in the newspaper saying Bucky had bombed a building in Vienna. The two of them quickly returned to their apartment, preparing to flee and find somewhere off the grid to live, when Bucky stopped midstep, gripping Y/n's arm as his eyes landed on Steve Rogers, who stood in the middle of their apartment.

Steve turned to look at the two of them, and he flinched at the sight of Y/n, who was positioned protectively behind Bucky. "You're..." Steve muttered to himself as he looked at Y/n, blinking rapidly as if she would disappear. You're alive." He gaped, and Y/n shifted on her feet nervously. "When I came out of the ice, I looked for you... they said you died of natural causes in 1998. But you're..." He swallowed roughly, trying to decipher if she even remembered him or if Bucky did, for that matter.

"Do you know me?" Steve asked the two of them. Bucky swallowed roughly, nudging Y/n further behind him. He wasn't sure of Steve's intentions. The last thing the two of them wanted was to be drug off to some facility and get their minds picked apart by doctors. Bucky would rather die than let Y/n be subjected to another form of captivity. She was struggling immensely with her PTSD, maybe more so than Bucky, and he refused to put her in a distressing environment like a psychiatric facility where the two of them would be separated. All they knew was each other.

"You're Steve. I read about you in a museum," Bucky says flatly, his metal hand resting possessively over Y/n's abdomen to keep her behind him.

"Is that all you know about me? What you read in the museum?" Steve asks, his voice trembling slightly as he looks between them. Y/n looked up at Bucky anxiously as they heard a voice say, 'They set the perimeter' in Steve's earpiece. An average person wouldn't have been able to catch it, but they both had enhanced hearing.

He's come to take us away. Y/n said telepathically to Bucky, jumping to conclusions. He's distracting us so they can trap us.

"The bombing... we didn't do it," Bucky says cautiously, his hand still blocking Y/n from moving closer to Steve.

"The people who think you did are coming here now, and they're not planning on taking you alive," Steve warns, and Bucky bristles.

"Nobody's laying a finger on her," Bucky says lowly, and Y/n shifts her feet anxiously as she hears people outside their apartment.

Steve scrambles for something to say as the authorities surround the apartment, "You pulled me from the river, why?" he demands. Bucky ignores him, pulling Y/n against him in a protective gesture.

"We're getting out of here," Bucky mutters quietly to her, and she nods. Using her telekinetic abilities, she pulls her and Bucky's emergency bags across the room and into their hands. Bucky quickly puts on his backpack, and so does Y/n.

Y/n gasps, and Bucky cradles her head with his hands as two grenades get thrown through the window, but Steve quickly covers the grenades with his shield, stopping the blow.

Officers and agents begin to breach the apartment. Driven by pure instinct, Y/n begins to fling the men out of their way as Bucky leads her out, using his strength to force the men out of their path. "Stay behind me, baby," Bucky calls over his shoulder as he punches one of the men into the wall. Y/n glances back, catching a glimpse of Steve fighting off the men in her and Bucky's apartment.

Y/n takes Bucky's hand and uses her telekinetic powers to propel them flyingly down the many flights of stairs. Once they land on solid ground, Bucky takes her hand and hastily leads her towards the exit, punching his way through the row of men while Y/n shoves any other lingering threats out of the way with her powers.

The minute they step out of the apartment building, they're surrounded by hundreds of men with large guns and a helicopter hovering over them. In the middle of the wall of men was T'Challa. Bucky comes to a halt, Y/n bumping into his back. He spins around, grabbing Y/n's wrist to take her with him as he attempts to escape through the building, but Steve is blocking his way.

"If you fight it, you'll only make it worse," Steve tries to reason. Bucky's breathing was erratic, driven by the desire to keep Y/n out of harm's way. Y/n looked around at the people surrounding them, tightly holding onto Bucky's jacket.

"She's my wife, Steve," Bucky pleads with him, hoping he'll somehow give them a way to escape.

The agents close in on them, knocking Bucky and Y/n to their knees as they cuff them. The officers had unique cuffs designed to remove Y/n's mutant abilities so she couldn't use mind control on the men. She nearly fell forward once the cuffs were secure, growing weak from the debilitating handcuffs.

"Buck..." she mutters weakly.

"Take those cuffs off of her!" Bucky demands, fighting against the officers who were trying to subdue him. Hydra often used similar cuffs on Y/n so she couldn't escape, so he knew how weak they made her. Not to mention, they were a PTSD trigger for her.

"It's for our protection until you're both evaluated," one of the officers insists as they yank Y/n to her feet, her legs wobbling beneath her. Her breathing grows shallow as she realizes she cannot defend herself, panic brewing in her gut.

Seeing Y/n's distress, Bucky fights harder against the men as they restrain him. Bucky grunts angrily, realizing he can't fight off all these men, "I'm right here, doll. Just breathe, baby," Bucky calls to her, his voice shaking with barely contained rage, "You don't need to use those fucking cuffs on her," Bucky growls as they pull him to his feet.

"She's unstable. We can't risk her using her abilities on us," one of the men says as they start shoving Y/n and Bucky toward the transportation vehicles, tugging Steve Rogers and Sam Wilson behind them. Silent tears began to stream down Y/n's face as she tried to look over her shoulder at Bucky.

"I know, baby," Bucky said as he caught a glimpse of her face. "I'm right here, it's gonna be okay," he said, his voice tinged with desperation.

She nods slightly as she's shoved into the vehicle. She could see Steve, Sam, and T'Challa being put into a van behind theirs out of the corner of her eye.

The officers force Y/n and Bucky into the vehicle, strapping them into restraints so they could hardly move. Y/n's breathing was erratic, and her body trembled as they finished strapping her in. Hydra agents used to strap her down to partially keep her from escaping but also so she couldn't move when they did vile things to her.

They strapped Bucky into the seat opposite hers so they were facing each other. "Please, " Y/n whispered to herself, unsure of what she'd be pleading for.

Bucky's eyes bore into her face, "I'm right here with you, doll. I'm right here. Nothing's gonna happen while I'm here," he promised, his body trembling with the urge to touch her.

"I don't like this," Y/n says, her voice trembling. Bucky grimaced from her sob, the sound cutting through him like a knife.

"I know, but we're gonna be alright. We have each other. That's all we need," Bucky says to reassure her and himself. He knew he had to try to keep her calm.

"I heard them say they're going to separate us when we get there," she says shakily, "They're scared I'll influence your answers when they evaluate us."

When they arrived at the facility, the two were separated. Y/n was put in an office with Steve Rogers and Sam Wilson. Y/n sat at the table in the office, tapping her foot anxiously. She hasn't been away from Bucky for at least 70 years. Even when they were trapped in Hydra's facilities, they were still together.

"What happened? How are you alive?" Steve asks Y/n.

"Isn't it obvious?" she asks rhetorically as she watches the footage of Bucky getting evaluated.

"I'm sorry," Steve says earnestly. Y/n glances away from the screen, nodding in acknowledgment at Steve, before focusing back on the video of Bucky, "How did you end up with Hydra?" Steve asks cautiously.

Y/n sighs, fiddling with the cheap wedding band on her finger. She and Bucky got them not too long ago since they couldn't afford wedding rings. Hydra took their real ones away in the 40s, "After Bucky was subjected to all of the experiments, he became the perfect weapon. The only problem was he wouldn't obey them; even with his mind wiped, he kept trying to break free from where he was kept. To get to me," she says, "I guess they thought he would listen to them if I were under their control. So, they took me. The rest is history." she explains, looking back at the screen.

"Here's a receipt for your gear," Sharon Carter says as she enters the office, handing a paper to Sam.

"Bird costume? Come on," Sam scoffs.

"I didn't write it," Sharon says as she subtly turns the audio to the video on so they can hear. Y/n had tried to turn it on with her abilities, but the cuffs were still firmly placed on her wrists so that she couldn't access her powers. She was defenseless without them. She wasn't a skilled fighter like Bucky and didn't have super strength, either.

Y/n perks up in her seat as the audio comes through, "I'm not here to judge you. I just want to ask you a few questions. Do you know where you are, James?" the interviewer asks, only to be meant with silence, "I can't help you if you don't talk to me, James."

"My name is Bucky," Bucky says weakly. Y/n fidgets in her seat. She wants to be with him and help him. She watches the screen intently, reading his every microexpression as Steve talks with Sharon and Sam.

"Why would Task Force release this photo to begin with?" Steve asks.

"Get the word out, involve as many eyes as we can?" Sharon suggests.

"Right. It's a good way to flush two people out of hiding. Set off a bomb, get your picture taken. You get seven billion people looking for the Winter Soldier." Steve says.

"He didn't bomb anything," Y/n says defensively.

"So, someone framed him to find him?" she asks.

"We looked for Bucky for two years and found nothing," Sam adds.

"We didn't bomb the UN. That turns a lot of heads," Steve quips.

"Yeah, but that doesn't guarantee that whoever framed him would get him. It guarantees that we would," Sharon says, and their heads turn toward the screen.

"You need to take these off me," Y/n begs Sharon as she rises from her seat, holding her wrists before her, "If Bucky turns into... him... I'll need to use my powers."

"I can't do that," Sharon says seconds before the building lights go off. Everyone freezes.

"Take them off!" Y/n demands shakily. Sharon sighs and types a code onto the cuffs, making them pop open. The minute the cuffs are off, Y/n's mind searches the facility for Bucky in an attempt to locate him. She knew he would be racked with guilt if he accidentally hurt someone. She wanted to stop that from happening.

"Sub-level five, East Wing," Sharon says, and Y/n immediately takes off in that direction. Steve and Sam are hot on her trail. While she runs through the halls and down flights of stairs, she tries to reach out to Bucky with her mind, but she's met with a mental wall. He wasn't Bucky anymore.

"I need to find him," Y/n says frantically as she rounds a corner, Steve and Sam trailing behind her, "And you can't be there when I do," she says firmly. Y/n stops in her tracks as she spots the interviewer lying on the floor, weakly asking for help. Rage boils up in her stomach, and she launches him up with her powers, yanking him over until he is hovering in front of her. He gasped for air, her powers cutting off his oxygen supply, "Where is he?" she demanded.

"Y/n, stop," Steve tries to reason, but he's thrown into the wall by The Winter Soldier. Y/n immediately drops the interviewer onto the floor with a thud and whirls around to face Bucky.

"Солдат! (soldier)," Y/n addressed Bucky. He froze at the sound of her voice, releasing Steve as he slowly turned to face her, "Он не наш враг. (he's not our enemy)," she said gently, approaching him cautiously.

"Y/n," Bucky mutters, standing like a statue as Y/n walks over to him.

She smiles softly, holding her hands up in a submissive gesture, "Ты знаешь, я бы никогда не причинил тебе вреда (you know I would never hurt you)," she says softly as she carefully takes one of his hands in hers, "Моя задача защитить тебя, а ты защитить меня (it's my task to protect you, and for you to protect me)," she says as she interlinks their fingers. Steve rose to his feet slowly, watching anxiously. Bucky's head snaps in Steve's direction, his hands quickly grabbing Y/n to yank her behind him.

"Нет, нет! Он не угроза (no, no! he's not a threat)," Y/n says quickly, tugging on the back of Bucky's shirt.

"Steve Rogers враг Гидры, угроза для вас (Steve Rogers is an enemy to Hydra, a threat to you)," Bucky says, his voice void of emotion.

"Нет," Y/n says softly but firmly, turning Bucky to look at her, "Он твой друг (he's your friend)," she insists. Bucky's eyes scan over her face with an almost medical-grade sense. Y/n smiles softly, thinking he's understanding, until he lifts her and throws her over his shoulder. She yelps in surprise; Bucky punches Steve with his free arm, knocking him to the ground, "Bucky, stop!" Y/n says, fighting against his grip.

Bucky forces his way out of the building, holding Y/n firmly over his shoulder. In a moment of desperation, Y/n slips into Bucky's mind. She floods his thoughts with memories of them as children and teenagers, some including Steve, then memories of them together in Bucharest. Bucky stumbles slightly, still holding onto Y/n firmly.

Bucky shudders, letting out a shaky breath as he loosens his grip on Y/n so she can stand again. Bucky blinks rapidly as if he's trying to decipher what's real.

"It's okay," Y/n says gently, reaching up to rest her hand on the side of his face but he grabs her wrist roughly. His eyes snap to her face, and he lets out a puff of air. He realizes it's only her, and he releases her wrist. "You're safe," she says softly, resting her hand on his face.

"We're not safe as long as we're here," Bucky says gruffly, glancing around the building. Y/n lets out a shaky breath, rubbing the side of his face with her thumb, "I don't want to be a weapon anymore," he says with a tremble in his voice, "I want to live a life. With you," he swallows roughly.

Y/n smiles and stands on her tiptoes to rest her forehead against his, "We can live whatever life we want." she whispers. Bucky shuts his eyes, exhaling shakily.

Steve approaches the two of them cautiously, clutching his side from the harsh blow he received when Bucky knocked him to the ground, "I can help you," he says shakily, "I can help you hide. Please."

[cabinetofquriosities]

Love on the Brain

Agathario AU: Singer and Roadie

Warnings: Smut

Listen while reading!

Find the complete playlist here.

——————————————————————

Rio Vidal’s career had exploded in the past five years after working towards it her entire life. She was now in her mid thirties and riding the high of being an established phenomenon. She toured too much to hold a consistent relationship, but her tour crew became her people. One such person was a newer roadie named Agatha who had joined on the previous tour.

Rio had found herself noticing the woman more and more. She had something of a flair to her even when just in a band shirt and black jeans with her long hair messily tied up. Though she got along well enough with everyone, her brash attitude and humor caught some of them off guard. It only endeared Rio to her, making her snort-laugh whenever she said anything cutting. The two had become friendly, with the both of them still keeping a bit of distance from one another for reasons they couldn’t quite explain.

When the new tour began, Rio led by asking for Agatha back. Her manager, Jen, seemed surprised at the request.

“Agatha?!” Jen asked, “Like, Agatha, Agatha?”

“I don’t think we know any other Agathas.”

“Sorry, I just- I mean, she can be a little much sometimes. I don’t know if she fits with the rest of the crew…”

“I like her,” Rio said simply, “She’s funny.”

“She threatened to set me on fire with the pyrotechnics.”

“She didn’t go through with it, though.”

“That cannot be where the bar is,” Jen deadpanned.

“Please. I want her on tour with us,” Rio said, reaching over and taking her hand, “I will make sure she doesn’t set you on fire.”

Jen sighed, folding for her employer and close friend.

“Fine. But I’m not sleeping on the same bus as her.”

“Feel free to take the other bus and snuggle up with Alice in the bus’s private bedroom…” Rio said with a smirk.

“Huh… didn’t think about that solution.”

“See? Silver lining.”

The first day of the tour came and Rio treated everyone to a night out on the town to kick everything off. They ended up in a club where they took up a good part of the dance floor. Rio gravitated toward Agatha, the other woman with her hair down for once.

“Hey, what are you drinking?” Rio asked.

“Martini.”

“Dirty?”

“Always.”

“Let me get you another,” Rio said before giving the bartender the order along with a tequila shot for herself.

“Thanks,” Agatha said, taking her drink, “I appreciate you hiring me back. I know I didn’t exactly make the best impression with Jen.”

Rio smiled and made a little wave at the mention of her.

“Don’t worry about Jen. I love her, but she can be a little judgmental with new people.”

“Well, I’ll try to be a little…” Agatha cringed before saying, “Nicer.”

“No you won’t,” Rio said with a fond laugh.

“No, I won’t,” Agatha replied with a smile.

The two drank together for a while before Agatha took her hand, pulling her out to the dance floor as Suavemente played. Rio could barely think with the touch of Agatha’s hand in hers as she danced. She spun Rio and pulled her in, their bodies close. They moved together with Agatha leading. She was impressed at how good Agatha was, handling Rio in a way that left her breathless.

At one point, Agatha and Rio found their eyes locked on the other’s. Both seemed a little terrified at the intensity of the moment. In that instant, both seemed to be realizing the same thing. Rio froze while Agatha’s chest thudded with her heartbeat.

“I should get some sleep,” Agatha blurted out before turning around and abruptly leaving.

Rio almost called for her, almost followed her out, but was stopped when Jen and Alice interrupted.

“What the hell was that?” Jen asked, her head cocked.

“What was what? We were just dancing..”

“That wasn’t ’just’ anything,” Alice said with a smile.

“Don’t encourage this!” Jen said to Alice.

“There’s nothing to encourage!” Rio said with a groan.

“That look you both had says there is,” Alice said.

“Okay, okay, I’m going to bed,” Rio said with a sigh.

“Rio, you don’t have t-“ Jen said, regretting her harshness.

“I’m okay, Jen. I want to be rested for tomorrow. Big day and all that. Make sure everyone’s drinks are paid for and that everyone is on the bus by 2.”

“Alright. Rest up. Drink some water,” Jen said, hugging her.

Rio walked out before Alice said, “I think they’re cute.”

Jen rolled her eyes before pulling Alice to the dance floor.

Agatha had stripped out of her clothing and was left in her sweat shorts and tank top. She finished brushing her teeth when she heard the door close. She looked out and saw Rio come on. Rio took her hair down and walked past. She looked back at Agatha. Agatha tried to avoid her eye, giving Rio the message to leave her alone.

“See you tomorrow. Sleep tight,” she said.

“You too,” Agatha simply said.

Rio walked into her private room in the back and closed the door. Her mind swirled with everything she had been feeling. The look in Agatha’s eyes haunted her as she drifted off to sleep, drawing out emotions she thought she would never feel for someone.

She had never been good at relationships. She was always half in since she felt like she was performing with them the way she did for her fans. With Agatha, it felt different. Something inside of her relaxed when she was around. She groaned just before falling asleep when she realized it.

She was in love with Agatha Harkness.

Fuck.

She had not signed up for love.

Agatha was off the bus by the time Rio woke up. The two stole glances at each other throughout the day, one looking away when the other saw them.

“You didn’t seal the deal last night?” Alice asked Agatha as they carried a speaker to the edge of the stage.

“Seal the what now?” Agatha asked with an arched brow.

“With Rio. Don’t worry, I won’t tell. I mean, Jen and I got together on a tour a few years back. The road just makes people closer.”

“I don’t know what you��re talking about,” Agatha said, looking away.

“Okay, then. Don’t make her wait too long. Rio doesn’t show interest often.”

Agatha didn’t need reminders that Rio was notoriously single, never staying with a woman longer than a night. Agatha had also been fiercely independent, having been married years ago before it all fell apart after their fifth anniversary. No, Rio didn’t see her that way.

“What do you mean ‘nothing happened’?!” Jen asked loudly with an indignant tone.

“Keep your voice down- I thought you’d be relieved,” Rio said.

“I mean, yeah, but I’m more confused. Did she shoot you down?”

“No.. I didn’t really… I just went to bed. And told her to sleep tight,” she said, cringing at her own failure.

“Oh no,” Jen said, her eyes widening.

“What?”

“You’ve got it bad bad. She triggered a useless lesbian response.”

“Useless lesbian?”

“Gay panic. You couldn’t make a move because you like her too much. Shit, of course it would be her…” Jen sighed, “Sometimes I hate it when Alice is right.”

“I don’t… I didn’t… I mean… it would be wrong to pursue anything with her, right?”

“You’re worried about a power imbalance with Agatha Harkness? That woman doesn’t let anyone have the upper hand. She’ll be fine.”

“I thought you didn’t like her…”

“I don’t. She’s an asshole. But I also haven’t seen you like this since high school when you dated Carol. It’s been twenty years. If someone is finally making you feel this way again… well, I will unhappily support you.”

Rio laughed softly before saying, “While I appreciate that, I don’t think she wants anything to do with me. She won’t even look at me.”

“She won’t STOP looking at you. She just doesn’t when you aren’t. Just do yourself a favor and shoot your shot. Okay?”

“I’ll think about it.”

“Don’t think too long. The tour doesn’t need this level of yearning,” Jen said before walking off.

The show that night went perfectly. The arena was packed and every number went according to plan. Rio soaked in the adrenaline. Performing was like a drug to her. It fueled her. Coming back after a few months felt like recharging her system.

She thanked the roaring audience wearing a bodysuit that was dripping with diamonds, her hair slicked back. She walked offstage, hugging and thanking her crew as she went to greet fans by the tour bus. After an hour of signing autographs and talking with overexcited teenage girls, she walked to her bus.

She walked to her room, closing the door behind her. She was still smiling, still feeling the high of the show running through her veins. A knock sounded at her door. She opened it up and found Agatha there.

“Hey,” Agatha said a bit awkwardly.

“Hi…” Rio said, “What’s up?”

“Jen told me you needed me?”

“Oh,” Rio said, reminding herself to thank Jen later, “Yeah. Uh, come in.”

Agatha stepped inside as Rio closed the door.

“The show was amazing,” Agatha said, a nervous smile showing, somehow making Rio love her even more in that moment.

“Thanks. You guys did great with all of the setups.”

“So.. what was it you needed to see me about?” Agatha asked, unable to stop her eyes from raking down the deep V cut of the bodysuit that plunged down Rio’s front.

“I.. just wanted to make sure you were alright… after last night. You seemed… like I made you uncomfortable.”

“No! No, you didn’t,” Agatha hastily answered, “I promise.”

“Okay, good,” Rio sighed with relief.

“Was… that all?”

“Well… could you actually help me with this?” She asked, pointing at the back of her suit.

Agatha’s face flushed before she said, “Sure, of course.”

It felt like a special type of torture as they stood before a full length mirror, Agatha’s fingers pulling down her zipper. Rio took a deep breath, her heart racing as the fabric loosened and fell apart. She was left in her underwear. Both women looked at each other through their reflection.

Rio suddenly turned, standing face to face with Agatha. Agatha reached out, cupping her face in her hands. Rio leaned into her touch, gazing into Agatha’s blue eyes. Her hand reached up and gripped her wrist as if using it to steady herself.

“Would it just be a night?” Agatha breathed.

Rio slowly shook her head, hoping it wouldn’t freak the other woman out.

“Good,” Agatha replied.

They closed the space between them, their lips colliding in a slow kiss. They took their time at first, refusing to come up for air while their tongues danced around one another. As the electricity grew between them, their movements became more frantic, more charged.

Rio pulled Agatha’s shirt up and off, finding nothing underneath. Agatha was already kicking her jeans off before she lost balance and fell back onto the bed. She was about to get back up when Rio was suddenly crawling over her like a panther.

Rio looked at her, her eyes moving down to her breasts. She dove down, wrapping her lips around her nipple, grinding her tongue against it. Agatha drew in a sharp gasp, her back arching off of the mattress. Rio moved to the other breast, her dark eyes locked onto her.

Agatha reached down and gripped Rio’s ass, digging her nails in. The other woman let out a feral moan that activated something in her. In one swift motion, Agatha rolled them over, topping Rio. Her long hair fell over her neck in a curtain as she looked down at her.

Rio was so used to people assuming she was a top that Agatha’s move completely took her by surprise. It stoked the fire in her chest, making her need this woman more than she thought was possible.

“Fuck me,” she whispered.

“Oh,” Agatha said, gripping her chin in her hand, “I intend to.”

Agatha reached down, rubbing Rio over the lace of her panties. Rio sucked in a sharp breath as her entire body came to attention for Agatha. The woman had complete control over her with just a little touch.

“Mm… you soaked through your panties…”

Agatha pulled her underwear down her waist and legs, moving down between her thighs. She kissed up her form and wrapped her arms around her thighs. She ran her tongue along her slit before finding her clit. Soft whimpers left Rio’s lips as Agatha toyed with her.

She slid her tongue inside of her, yanking her closer by her thighs. Rio’s hands clutched the sheets. She stared at her new favorite view of Agatha’s head between her legs. Agatha let go of one leg before using her free hand to tease her. She slid two fingers into Rio, causing her toes to curl.

“Fuck! Yes..” Rio gasped.

Agatha’s tongue circled and swiped over her clit. She sucked while thrusting into her, crooking them against the most sensitive spot of hers. It didn’t take long for Rio’s pleasure to build. She gasped and moaned as her cunt strangled Agatha’s hand. Agatha watched her as she stroked and licked her through her climax. Agatha had a wicked smile on her lips. She moved up her form, nipping and biting everywhere she could reach.

She moved to straddle her chest, moving up onto her knees. She looked down at Rio, saying, “Now, show me what a good girl you are.”

Agatha grabbed the headboard and lowered herself onto Rio’s face. Agatha’s dominance was intoxicating. Rio found herself wanting her approval along with her pleasure. She ran her hands up her thighs as her tongue explored her. Agatha let out a soft moan at the sensation.

Rio’s hands settled on her ass, gripping and slapping it as she wrapped her lips around her clit. Agatha’s moan tore from her mouth at the slap. Rio would have smiled to herself if her mouth wasn’t full. She slapped her a few more times, noticing how wet she became with each strike.

Agatha looked down at her as she rolled her hips. She reached down, running a hand through Rio’s hair. Her breathing quickened and her heart raced. Her moans rose in pitch until they stopped altogether. Her mouth opened in a silent scream as Rio drank her arousal. She caught her breath, looking down at her and saying, “Good girl.”

She moved off of her and laid beside her. Rio surged forwards and kissed Agatha, her lips covered in her. The two women pulled back to look at one another. Rio smiled softly and played with the ends of Agatha’s hair. Agatha gazed into her eyes until her own closed. She snuggled into Rio, the dominant woman suddenly cuddly in her sleep. Rio ran her fingers through her long hair until she drifted off with her.

[onionkrisp]

No words can describe how much I love this idea! So I'll add on to it.

For this post I'll go with Shay conceiving the child with a random woman, as you already explored him doing it with Hope Jensen.

This woman could be a random citizen he took a flying fancy to before sailing off to Lisbon, or it could be a whore he paid, it doesn't matter as it wouldn't change Demsond's future too much regardless of which one you would like to go with.

If the mother is able to contact Shay upon the realisation of her pregnancy, he could rendezvous back to meet and raise his son, or he could send a local templar to pass on money to support and help raise Desmond. If Desmond's mother is to die soon after the birth, Shay could take Desmond with him and raise him as he goes from mission to mission.

When Desmond realizes that, wait! My father is a templar! He could run away (or you know, just fake his death for that extra sweet sweet angst later on) and jump on to the first ship he sees, which will ultimately take him to colonial Boston.

In Brooklyn he would be a street urchin, fighting every day just to keep himself from starving, until a few years later (lets go with 1769 so that he and Ratonhnhake ton can become besties) he comes across a very familiar man he swears he has once upon a time seen before...

If the mother is unable to contact Shay about the baby, then I'll stray from killing off Desmond's only ally, and family (at the moment) right away, he can have a mom for a few more years before he's strong enough to become an orphan.

In this setting he can be raised in the grimy streets of Boston, his family doesn't own very much, and is even less financially stable; but he's happier than he was in his past life, so that's a plus.

He wouldn't have any formal education, or, if he decides to use his past lifes knowledge, he could be declared a genius and a kind benefactor could sponsor his further education. Desmond would probably like to stay away from the assassin/templar bullshit, so he would likely focus on his studies with the hopes of getting a high paying job in the future to lift the financial burden off of his new family's shoulders.

Hey, he could even have younger/older half-siblings if you feel like it!

But I'll go with him being sponsor/education-less (can't have Desmond having any kind of support network, nuh uh).

But his hopes and dreams for a normal life come crashing down at the age of 11/12 (depends on whether you want to make him younger/older than Ratonhnhake ton) when his mother, and sole provider, tragically died from her 'work related' disease (if she's not a whore then maybe some epidemic or sepsis/ infection).

Life for a newly orphaned boy in the 18th century is not a kind one, he's constantly struggling with finding food or scrounging enough funds to keep himself warm at night (and it would be even worse if he has siblings to look after, but for simplicity's sake I'll go with him being an only child). The punishments for crimes such as theivery are still severe enough for Desmond to be weary, and there are no child protective services yet, so Desmond has only himself to rely on.

Let's not forget about how he would be treated, when once he was tolerated and maybe liked (his illegitimate status would never allow anyone to even consider respecting him), he's now treated worse than shit underneathe peoples shoes.

In another life, one where he experienced a scenario similar to this one, he wouldn't have been bothered by the scathing remarks or dirty looks, but after living with a loving mother for so long...

Well, the switch up left him dizzy and nauseated for the longest time.

It's a few months in to his new, and frankly disgusting, life that he sees him. The wrinkled robes, yellowed whites and limping gate...

Convincing Achilles to take him on was a difficult task. Desmond swears Achilles was being even more difficult to the 'apprenticeship' then he was originally with Ratonhnhake ton.

But the reasoning didn't matter at the moment, Desmond was too caught over doing the exact thing he swore he wouldn't do at the beginning of this mess, getting involved with the assassins, with Ratonhnhake ton.

Overall, I think life in the Homestead wouldn't be too bad, sure, the fear of messing with the Kenways story, especially with how important they were for Desmond's birth and saving the world, would probably paralyse the guy at times.

Let's not ignore how it would mess with Desmonds and Ratonhnhake ton's growing friendship as well.

But Desmond will get over it... after a few freak outs of course.

Normally when Desmond travels back in time, people tend to forget about the cons of the Bleeding effect. Being able to learn decades worth of fighting skills within weeks is pretty cool, but what's cooler is when this has consequences, hallucinations, loss of self, insanity, and on and on.

People just take the positives, the ancestors memories, their fighting skills and strategic genius, and all but ignore the hallucinations and fast approaching insanity. A funny thing someone could do is make Desmond deal with all the negatives (hallucinations etc) whilst he is actively interacting with his ancestors (Ratonhnhake ton in this scenario).

But what I think would be even more fun is if Desmond lost the negatives of the bleeding effect... as well as the positives.

He wants to factory reset his brain? fine, but he can't complain when he has no more master assassin skills at his disposal.

Desmond has to regain everything the good ol' fashioned way.

Cue a training montage that will span multiple years as he and Connor (well, he can't call him his birth name without being sus af, can he?) slowly hone their skills and develop a sort of understanding and respect for one another.

Obviously, at the time being Desmond would have no clue on who his birth father was, probably wouldn't care that much either.

He never relived Shay Cormac's memories, in his last life he wasn't related to him, so how would he know anything about the man apart from him being the 'assassin traitor who destroyed the colonial brotherhood'?

There's a short and simple answer to this.

Achilles

There is no way that Achilles wouldn't recognise the features of the man that haunted his dreams on the face of a child that all but demanded his mentorship.

I can just see him trying to do right by Desmond, trying to prove to himself that after all these years he changed, that he could train and 'nurture' assassin Desmond to become nothing like his father.

But I can also see him going hard on the child, I can see him as a stone faced mentor trying to dissuade Desmond from joining the fight.

That for all that he wishes for the brotherhood to rise again, he fears seeing his pupils, Ratonhnhake ton, Desmond, die in this centuries old war. He fears to see his mistake's own mistake (ouchie) repeat the nightmare that he could never shake off even two decades later.

But even after all the rough words and training Desmond will flourish anyway. He, after all, did survive the training at The Farm, with William as his father (fucking hate that douche).

As time progressed, Desmond would grow in to his new role, his new friendships and his new body. At the age of 15 he wouldn't have had to ever met the man to know what he looked like.

Achilles made sure that all Desmond ever saw when he looked in to a mirror was the reflection of Shay Patrick Cormac staring right back at him.

Now this has some spicy angst potential. Without Achilles' contribution, the only reason for Desmond to hate Shay would have been his betrayal to the brotherhood.

But if Desmond knew that the sole reason Achilles was extra hard on him and never quite warmed up to Desmond was because of his and Shay's shared blood?

Well, that's a motif for his steadily increasing hatred for that man.

But what about Shay's side of the story? If he never knew of Desmond, how would he find out about him, and if he already knew about him (following the scenario that Desmond's mother did manage to come in contact with Shay), how would he react to finding out that his missing/perceived dead, son is in the colonies fighting alongside Haytham's son and Achilles?

He wouldn't be happy, that's obvious.

If we're going with the scenario that Shay already knew Desmond, and that he actually raised him after his mothers death, he would definitely want to have his son back. He would be worried, and could possibly suspect that it's the assassins that kidnapped his son and they manipulated and brainwashed him in to becoming one of them.

The Templars in the colonies could notify Shay that there's an assassin in Boston who looks unsettlingly similar to him. Or maybe even Haytham himself would write to him, as at that point he would have met his own son on multiple occasions, and even worked with him and his friend.

Nevertheless, the following story would be pretty simple: Shay would go to Boston, locate Desmond, they would argue (maybe even fight). he would attempt to get Desmond to see 'reason', but Desmond wouldn't listen, wouldn't even humour the thought of doing so, after all he's loyal to Ratonhnhake ton.

Would Shay give up, would he finally cut his losses and realise that his son is loyal to the very same creed he once was also a firm believer of?

Or would he try to fight for his son, would he refuse to part with the memory of the little child he took in and cared for an eternity ago?

Now, if we're going with the scenario that I unashamedly gave more thought in to (that being him never getting informed about Desmond prior to this), how would Shay find out about Desmond, how would he react, what would he do?

Following what teacup said, Shay very obviously wasn't present during Assassin's Creed 3, so unfortunately he won't be finding out about his son because said son came crash landing on top of the table Shay was just having a templar meeting on (how unfortunate).

There's truly only one option for Shay finding out about his son, and that's him being directly informed about Desmond.

Similar to the previous scenario, it can be either by a random unnamed templar or by Haytham himself. And as I am a fan of Haytham (crazy, I know), I'm basically obliged to give the man himself the honour of informing his dear friend about his bastard running around Boston and terrorising the colonial templars.

Before his first time meeting Haytham, for real this time, Desmond would have wishfully hoped that his existence wouldn't have changed history too much, that what he saw from Ratonhnhake ton's memories will uphold perfectly.

But then he met the man.

And he knew that wouldn't be the case.

The man was rude, arrogant even, and if his 'greeting' wasn't unnerving enough (seriously, who introduces themselves to their child by attempting to kill them?) he also held the kind of intelligence behind his eyes that caused Desmond to grow weary in his presence.

Desmond knew what that man could do, saw the things he hasn't yet done first hand.

He has Lived as that man, however short that period may have been.

So Desmond knows that that scrutinizing look aimed at him means nothing but trouble.

Cue Haytham writing a very annoyed letter to Shay complaining about his bastard 'getting in the way' and being a 'hooligan', while Shay is sat at his desk like:

The realisation will be so stark and sudden Shay gets whiplash.

I can just see him having to put the letter down and pause for a long moment as he tries to remember when has he ever-

Oh

yeah, that checks out.

Luckily for our hero Desmond, Shay is not as hell bent on killing off his descendants as Haytham is.

Unluckily for our other hero(?) Shay, Desmond essentially went on to self exile to the Homstead the moment word of Shay stepping foot on to American soil reached the assassins ears.

Whether that is because Desmond is fearful of meeting his father, a famed deserter and traitor (unlikely), or Achilles didn't want to risk those two meeting and Shay manipulating Desmond in to joining the templars (more likely).

It's not until months later that they meet.

Desmond spent the last few weeks of his sudden callback from the field trying to recover the skills he lost when he was transported back in to the past.

It felt... weird, to live without the constant voices in his head guiding him on, to not get feelings of deja vu over the most random of things. The bleeds were a sign of of his mind combusting, a warning that he was teetering over the edge of his sanity, it was supposed to be worrisome.

But for the first time since he was taken by Abstergo, since he layed strapped to the animus for days at a time as the sun loomed over them like a ticking time bomb, Desmond didn't feel lonely.

It's crazy how when he was surrounded by his own father, and people he spent the last few months in close quartersc with, he felt the most comforted by his own figments of imagination.

frustration creeped in to his mind and stiffness overtook his body as he corrected his stance and raised his arms once more.

Maybe he was being idiotic, maybe he was just sick of not being understood. But he wanted to grow closer to his ancestors once more, even if this time their relationship will be even faker than their last.

He reached for the arrow behind him and set it alongside the bow's string as he leveled it to the target ahead of him.

And if he could no longer hear their voices no matter what he did, then he would force the sensation of them to his side guiding his attacks.

Releasing his hold on the string, Desmond watched the arrow glide through the air and hit it's target.

Bullseye

He only managed to emit a small smile as he began his ascend towards discarded arrows before the tranquility of the moment was disturbed by the sudden sound of clapping.

Desmond stilled his movements, before turning around, he expected Connor, maybe even one of the homsteads residents seeking him out for help.

The sight of the black and red uniform alongside an aged face froze him for only a moment, before he forced his body in to movement, stumbling towards his abandoned quiver.

A face so much like his own stared back at him with a complicated expression as he leveled his weapon at the intruder.

Desmond didn't know what to say, interrogate the man? question his intelligence? provoke him?

His lack of words and shock deepened even further when the familiarity of the grey hue enveloped his world and left him staring at the lone figure in front of him, surrounding his environment with a blidingly blue shine.

'I'll add on to it, just a little bit, I'll just sprinkle a few ideas on top, no more than a few paragraphs' I say naively as I press the reblog button

This is long, longer than I expected it to be... and you can probably tell how I started to slowly get tired as the story commenced. The ending was supposed to be longer, more shocking, confusing and angsty, but I lost the majority of my braincells by the time I got to it soooo...

Anyways, I would like to thank the pack of cheetos I ate, my motivation for not leaving me, and @teecupangel for inspiring me to write this.

Edit because I just remembered the game was set in Boston and not Brooklyn. If you see any lingering mention of Brooklyn, no you don't.

What if Desmond was reborn as Shay’s son and the same age as Connor

We have this idea where Desmond is reborn as Shay’s son but, in that one, we made Desmond the same age as Arno for that sweet, sweet angst.

For this one, we need to talk about the timeline for a bit.

Ratonhnhaké:ton is born in 1756 and Shay put his lot with the Templars the same year.

This means Desmond has to be conceived in 1755 before Shay leaves for Lisbon. Specifically: Desmond must be conceived months before November 1 1755. (If you want, we can put it his birth date as March 13 then Desmond would have to be considered around June 1755)

He returns to the homestead late 1755 to early 1756 and there was a lot of snow during the cutscenes during that time so we can say Winter Months (December ~ February)

Why is this important?

Because we have a prime ‘candidate’ for Desmond’s mother:

Hope Jensen.

Hope would definitely hide the fact that she’s pregnant and would never say that Shay was the father.

Perhaps it was simply a night of passion that they never talked about.

Maybe there was a sliver of ‘something more’ but it was postponed when Shay sailed to Lisbon.

Regardless, Hope would still join the hunt for Shay and she would watch as he ‘dies’ after failing to persuade him into returning the manuscript (maybe even hint on her current ‘situation’)

After that, she would never tell anyone who the father of her son was.

Desmond would be born in one of her gang’s hideout.

He would stay with her while she worked for the Brotherhood and he would know she’s an Assassin early on. Her gang would serve as both his bodyguards and his nannies when she’s away.

He would be 1 year and 8 months old when his mother died while he was taken away by her most trusted gang members, running away when she noticed Shay spying on them while she was talking to Liam. Desmond was nearby and was taken away while Hope slowly filled the warehouse with poisonous gas.

Desmond would then watch the fall of the Brotherhood and his mother’s gang as Shay hunted them down.

By the time Desmond is four years old, the only living gang members that he knows of are the ones who took care of him.

To him, Shay Cormac is the man who betrayed the Brotherhood and joined the Templars to hunt them all down.

The man who killed Desmond’s mother.

And now we have the setup for Desmond’s revenge plot (with a twist).

So, in this one, Desmond comes to Achilles around the same time Ratonhnhaké:ton does. Maybe he timed it that way, maybe it was fate. An important thing to note is that he has been making a name of himself by rebuilding his mother’s gang.

Of course, it’s less of a gang and more of a Brotherhood by its own rights. They stick to the shadows and follow the Creed and its tenets.

People see him as a genius youngster.

The ones who raised him after Hope died believed that he’s a prodigy like his late mother.

So he didn’t come to Achilles to ask for him to train him, he came there to learn about Shay Cormac and if he knows his current location.

This is where our plot can diverse into specific plot points:

(1) Desmond learns Shay is his father but Shay remains oblivious.

(2) Shay learns Desmond is his son but Desmond doesn’t know about this.

(3) They learn of their connection with one another in different ways.

For Desmond, either one of the people who raised him (maybe the ‘nanny’) knew the truth, maybe she was a servant of the Jensen family who came to care for Desmond, or Hope left a letter for Desmond to read when he was older if she died to one of the people who cared for him beforehand.

For Shay, it could be the good old ‘Hope Jensen had a son’, ‘said son is around this age’, Shay remembers they had sex around that time, and did the math himself. Or the Templars learned of the connection and informed Shay.

This would change how tragic this becomes, especially on Shay’s side.

Desmond’s side though?

He already had a bad father as Desmond Miles. His father being the one to kill his mother? Yeah, that just another nail in the coffin he would be carving for Shay Cormac, to be honest.

Shay though? If he learned that Desmond is his son, he would absolutely try to connect with him.

He would be the reason why Shay would return to the colonies during AC3.

So if you want Shay to be part of AC3 then Shay must know that Desmond is his son.

Or…

He learned that Hope Jensen’s son has been wrecking havoc with Haytham Kenway’s son and felt that it was his duty to ‘finish’ what he started.

.

Whatever situation they have, Desmond would be loyal to the Brotherhood. Not Achilles’ Brotherhood but the one he made himself. He’d support Ratonhnhaké:ton on his missions while suggesting Ratonhnhaké:ton join them.

Haytham would even comment on how their relationship is a bit similar to Haytham’s relationship with Shay but with the ‘roles’ reversed.

Desmond would clarify that he sees Ratonhnhaké:ton as an equal.

Desmond and Ratonhnhaké:ton would also bond over having bad fathers (although Ratonhnhaké:ton would remind Desmond that Shay Cormac doesn’t even know that he has a son so it was less ‘bad father’ and more like ‘bad Assassin’). In the end, Desmond would never betray Ratonhnhaké:ton and he has no memories of Shay being anything ‘good’ to him. Being his mother’s killer definitely soured their entire relationship before it even started.

So… it’s not going to have a happy ending.

.

.

.

Or, you know, Desmond’s mother could be some random woman Shay slept with and he found out about him after betraying the Brotherhood. He raised him away from his Templar business and Desmond becomes an Assassin anyway because of Ratonhnhaké:ton. This one’s angst would be the hesitation of fighting his father.

Pick your poison. XD

[starberry-cupcake]

I came back!!! I didn't leave you for 5 months!!! And now I have 3 chapter updates together!!! I'm kissing you all in the brow tenderly like palmolive did to harrow and offering this recap

previously, in harrowcita del 9:

this happened

CHAPTER 34

harrow wakes up in a different spot, with camilla next to her and a shuttle with a design she has never seen before

she confirms that palmolive is indeed in his bachelor apartment in the river

camilla is very glad she doesn't have to go back to sweep the floor of canaan house for more palmolive bits

harrowcita does as palm told her and turns the skull into a hand because cam doesn't want a full skeleton reproduction because "it would get her in trouble"

customs are nasty up there in space

harrow goes to check up the shuttle and finds more old pals!!!

there's judith, remember judith?

in harrow's memory, she was dead from the slasher waker sleeper, but in our memory she was close to dead but not quite

turns out she's alive

not great for anyone other than herself, but anyway

there's also regina george twin

harrow remembers her falling to her death in the hands of mayonnaise uncle, but we remember her from crying in a corner last we saw her

after yandere twin had slurped chad the third and all that

this is again confusing me a bit, because clearly harrow remembers the gideon-less narrative but not!dulcinea is included in her memory, so that's still undetermined for me

there's also a poster of a woman harrow takes quite some time looking at

she: 1) looks intimidating, 2) is dressed in black, 3) has red hair

harrow immediately starts bleeding

"that portrait frightened you more than anything you had seen since becoming a Lyctor; it scared the irresolute piss from your body. Yet you had never seen the face before in your life"

my immediate theory is that maybe she's the leader of BOE who went missing about 20 years ago and that I mentally connect to gideon or gideon's mom

without any evidence other than math and a hunch

we'll see how wrong I am in the following chapters

harrow starts taking out her letters for everyone present

past!harrow wanted present!harrow to silence judith (valid) and protect regina george twin, only silence her if necessary

yandere twin had added some annotations on this about not hurting her sister

these letters were google docs

regina george twin has a ninth house rapier

I WONDER WHAT THAT IS ABOUT

harrow does as told (by herself) but wants to know what is going on so she un-silences judith momentarily and judith is an asshole who wants to rat someone out to the emperor

idk how things are at BOE or what is going on but here we don't stan the emperor so anyone who wants to protect him isn't my friend

camilla gives the ninth pledge to convince her to let them leave and says "we're not on the same side anymore"

PROMISING

when asked who took them from canaan house and who they're with, camilla says "you call them Blood Of Eden"

POSTER THEORY NOT CONFIRMED BUT I WONDER

CHAPTER 35

back in gideon-less universe with ortus and his polycule the fifth

abby thinks the lost chambers of the emperor run sidelong to the facility, which is information I very much would have liked her to elaborate on

but harrowcita is spotted listening in on the private conversation

harrow also keeps wanting ortus to do gideon stuff and show gideon behavior

she doesn't know that's what she wants but we know because she keeps being like "ortus doesn't start immediately doing push ups after almost dying, isn't showing his arms to the young ones and hasn't said a single dirty joke, which isn't ninth behavior but she's somehow expecting it".

canaan house is also growing some body horror stuff

sure, why not

abby says "time was always against us", which is pretty intense, knowing what we know

and then in comes teacher acting like he's drunk out of his ass, but he says he's not

it's great for us because drunk exposition is useful

he calls "the devil" a "her" who "bent for god to put a leash around her neck" and how the "disciples were scared" of her

then the lyctors found out what they had to do and they asked doctor reverend emperor john to kill her

but he "put her in a box"

like this

"you worship a monster in a box" "now we have a monster in a box"

I hadn't thought of those parallels, actually, that's my bad

"once that rock's rolled away, once that tomb's levered open, the Emperor of the Nine Houses will never know peace ever again"

CHAPTER 36

there's a bug in this one, like in the illustration

is this the beast?

harrow prays that not!dulcinea's body is tossed out through the airlock

WHERE HAVE I HEARD THAT BEFORE??????

OH YEAH, I HAVE BEEN ASKING FOR THAT SAME THING

at first I thought harrow didn't remember her meeting the gang because it said "and why now was one of your letters missing and another two freshly opened?"

but she does remember, so narrator (still unknown) is confusing me

playing games with my mind

they have boring code-names that aren't puns or funny nicknames (which I have a predilection for) but their initials and the initial of their cav

dr reverend emperor john has a g, which I know what word it stands for, but I don't know what it means because it showed up in a dashboard spoiler but thankfully it had no context

so there's AA for Augustine Alfred, GP for Gideon (alleged, we're still not saying that one aloud, I'm still betting on it though) Pyrrha, IN for Ianthe Naberius

which is confusing to me because I call him Chad and everyone else calls him Babs but his name is Naberius but I always read it as Nebarius

he's like a puppy that you name one way but everyone calls differently

augustine hesitates on harrow's name and says "Harrow's H"

harrow says HO and everyone's awkward about it

you sure, harrow? you sure it's O?

turns out the beast is here to get doctor reverend emperor john's sorry ass for, according to mercygirl what "you did to its kin" and "it sees my cavalier's mortal soul burning in my chest"

harrow wants to kiss ice cube barbie but she's not having it and goes "i have to go away for a while"

that's rough, buddy

mercygirl proceeds to draw a cylinder with names of layers and explains the very convoluted and not at all certain sounding plan they've got

apparently ulysses threw sexy parties that mercygirl hated

harrowcita does remember seeing regina george twin and is worried that yandere twin is the traitor that judith was taking about

I think harrow is the traitor but she doesn't know it

I think her forgetting stuff is part of a plan to kill the emperor, but my evidence is circumstantial

as long as we kill this dude, it's all good

mercygirl gives a speech about how much she hates everyone and how she wants to torture the emperor

if we are to spare one lyctor from the guillotine, let it be her

everyone has positions to take in this plan (that sounds like it's kinda doomed) and that the emperor isn't paying attention to at all

everyone except for harrow, because they all think she's gonna die

and we get potential foreshadowing?????? about the stoma

which is "hell" and the emperor says it's "where my power and my authority are utterly meaningless"

AND THAT'S WHERE WE ARE NOW, FAM!!! see you next time!!!

[neuroticbookworm]

Love in the Big City Part 2: Go Yeong and Umma

I was chased around, threatened, bullied and emotionally manipulated for months to write this piece, so @lurkingshan, this one's for you. *please release my family*

When I was reading the book, in Part 1, I remember being frustrated with Young as a narrator because of how standoffish he seemed with his descriptions of the people in his life (except Jaehee – Mi Ae in the show). I wanted to understand the emotional distance I felt in his words. And I got my answer in Part 2, where the relationship with his Umma was laid bare for us to see. The structure of this section was so smart, for it established the roots of his behavior in his childhood with Umma, and linked it to how it shaped the relationship he currently had with Hyung. Seeing it come to life on screen in the episodes this week was a treat to watch.

It becomes evident that Go Yeong’s relationship with his Umma is complicated as soon as we see them interact on screen. She is steadfastly religious, someone who believes that miracles can cure things that humans sometimes deem incurable, like cancer. We could easily infer from what we’ve seen of Go Yeong so far that she would not approve of his life.

Before I get into how her opinions and actions affect and influence Go Yeong, I wanna fully break down some of the objective facts we know about her:

She divorced her husband after he stepped out of their marriage and didn’t even have the courage to tell her about his infidelity

She is a single mother

She is an entrepreneur (in fact, we see her working from her bed in the hospital in multiple scenes)

She is religious and believes in the power of God

She is proud of her son

She loves her son

The last two points come with the biggest asterisks, because if she loves and feels pride for her son, how could she make him feel so alone? And now I shall try to explore this woman’s psyche to the best of my abilities, with a little bit of help from my personal experiences and therapy sessions I’ve paid money for over the years.

When we try to picture a homophobic parent, the image that our brain usually conjures up is often one-dimensional. (Note: This is NOT AN EXCUSE. I’m not trying to justify her actions. I am simply trying to understand why she did the things she did, by placing the context of the events of her life around them.) It is easier to process our emotions re: bad parents who hurt their children when we view their actions as simple. “They could’ve chosen not to do it and yet they did, so I hate them” is the conclusion that is the easiest to arrive at. That doesn’t make it untrue, but oftentimes, it is not the whole truth. Life is rarely, if ever, that simple, and our parents can truly love us while also rejecting fundamental parts of who we are, and never reconcile the two.

We see in the show the circumstances under which Yeom Eun Suk (Umma) finds out about her husband’s affair. She and little Go Yeong observe him from the sidelines, hidden, and see him smile like he had never done in all the time he had spent with them. We see Eun Suk feeling crushed by the implication that whatever love and happiness she thought she had had in her life with her husband was all potentially a farce. The fact that she chose to separate from him implies a couple of things: 1. She had strength and resourcefulness to provide for her son as a single mother in a restrictive patriarchal society like South Korea, and 2. She understood that staying in the unhappy marriage would only make her bitter and would affect her son more negatively than him growing up with a single parent.

She was brave enough to make those choices, and yet was still bound by her sense of propriety molded by society, and her faith. I’ve had a dynamic relationship with faith throughout my life, but I understood pretty quickly that questioning one’s faith is a particularly painful experience. Faith is supposed to be the solace one could turn to during trying times. When one is forced by circumstance to question their faith, it leaves them unmoored on the inside and further isolated on the outside. Eun Suk was already isolated to a certain degree by her divorce and her single motherhood. From what we learned in the book, there’s a history of cancer diagnoses in her family, so I would posit that she had been in Go Yeong’s shoes before, caring for her terminally ill parents in the past. Which is additional trauma from caregiving in her young adulthood that would’ve shaped her life. So I understand Eun Suk not questioning her faith when it was shaken.

She rebuilt her life and community by pursuing her faith—attending church, making friends who shared those values, and idolizing the Christian heteronormative lifestyle even after it failed her. She followed the rules dictated by her faith and community with utmost devotion, including building an entire business around heteronormative romance, in part because she had already transgressed by breaking up her own family and needed to prove she was not bucking that ideal or rejecting the church’s teachings with her choices. We see her take care of her appearance over and over when she is in the hospital after her first diagnosis and surgery, and it is yet another sign of her conformity and dedication to presenting a certain picture of her life. I understand why she would see her teenage son kissing a boy as a blemish on “a life deemed beautiful by God” and panic. I understand why she would think a psychiatric facility would help her son, and that it was her duty to try. (Note: once again, I am not justifying her actions, I am trying to understand them. Conversion therapy is deplorable and my heart goes out to everyone who has been subjected to it, including Go Yeong.) Eun Suk’s faith saved her by giving her purpose and community after her husband’s betrayal, but it also told her that her son, in his queerness, is fundamentally flawed. And like most people in this world, she chose not to rethink her entire life, and instead chose to believe that it is her duty to save her son from homosexuality and guide him to righteousness via the same path that saved her own life, ultimately traumatizing him. Hello, intergenerational trauma, my old friend!

@lurkingshan has already discussed the kdrama-fication of Part 2, with the increased intensity of Go Yeong’s romance with Hyung/Yeong Su. Expanding on that, I think the show’s depiction of Go Yeong’s relationship with his Umma rounded out the sharp edges of Young’s cynical tone from the book. We see her enjoy spending time with him. We see her joke around with him. We see her read her child with uncanny precision that mothers seem to have when she asked him “Why are you sulking like a child?”, when he was, in fact, sulking like a child. We see her observe and deduce that her son is probably seeing someone, and that someone is likely a man. Which then leads to her asking “Must I meet them?” when Go Yeong suggests a meeting with Yeong Su in the park. She runs from direct confrontation of her son’s sexuality, and yet diligently copies Bible verses, hoping for a miracle.

Eun Suk sees her son’s queerness as her own failure, and Go Yeong, in turn, sees his righteous anger towards his Umma, as his. She is so proud of him that she saves newspaper clippings of his achievements, but she is also ashamed that she couldn’t “save” him. She loves him within the confines of her faith. It’s not enough for Go Yeong, but it’s the best she can do; their relationship remains at an impossible impasse.

Yeong Su’s presence in this section is interesting because in addition to his primary role of serving as the broody, tortured creative who swept Go Yeong up in a whirlwind romance, he also serves as a parallel to Umma’s traits. When Yeong Su exclaims that “someone like [Go Yeong] couldn’t even imagine [his struggles]”, it rang eerily close to Umma telling her son “Don’t try too hard. Everyone must go sometimes”. The expression of disdain is the same, but in Yeong Su it reads hollow, as a pretentious assumption, while with Umma it registers as tired disappointment that Go Yeong would’ve surely felt as heavy as a boulder.

After finishing the book, I found myself going back to a particular paragraph:

...[I] was old enough to know that my mother did not exist solely to hinder my existence but was a person in her own right who had fought hard making her way through life. She just happened to be unlucky. In other words, the fact that our relationship had been so terrible was as natural as cancer or fungus or the rotation of our planet or sunspots. I knew this, but the feeling that she was the source of all my problems kept nagging at me. I kicked myself for thinking this about a dying person, someone who was only skin and bones at this point, but the thought refused to leave my mind.

It took me a long time to reach the acceptance Sang Young Park has put in words here. The fact that my trauma is an unfortunate byproduct of the life my parents had lived, and was not premeditated or fuelled by hate, was a hard and unfair pill to swallow. I want to grab Go Yeong and tell him that it is okay if he can’t ever forgive his Umma. Time will wash over his hurt and let him love her, even without the apology he deserves from his Umma. And I hope that, one day, he can learn to love the people in his life differently than the love he received from his mother.

[prythiansfavoritefox]

For day 1 of @lucienweekofficial Gentleman

Lucien is tasked with bringing the Archeron family over safely to Feyre’s wedding- and warming them up to the Fae in the process.

It would’ve been a strange day by any other human’s standards, but the Archerons had had stranger. As it was, Nesta Archeron hardly blinked when the faerie lord showed up before their doors.

Lucien Vanserra stared at the woman who had to be Nesta from Feyre’s descriptions of her. He definitely saw the resemblance to Feyre, but Nesta’s features were stronger, sharper. She had siren eyes, her brows were thick and arched, and her full lips were pressed together as they appraised him. Her purple dress was surprisingly elegant, albeit dated: light fabric, a full high-waisted skirt, puffy elbow-length sleeves, and sparkly silver leaf embroidery throughout. It looked like a dress a lesser faerie might wear to sneak into an Autumn Court ball.

“What do you want,” Nesta asked flatly. Lucien flashed a practiced smile, sketching a bow. “Greetings, Lady Nesta. I am Lucien, courtier and emissary of the Spring Court. I come here on behalf of my High Lord, Tamlin Donnachaidh.”

Nesta’s eyes widened in recognition. “Feyre’s High Lord. What does he want with us?”

Lucien swallowed his laugh. “He wants nothing to do with you, but I’m afraid your sister insists.”

Nesta’s face remained unreadable. “And why is that?”

Lucien let his lips pull into a smirk. “She has invited you to her wedding, of course.”

                              ~~~~~~

After the Archerons had sat down in the carriage, Nesta turned to Lucien, who she had sat next to in order to keep an eye on. “What’s with the eyepatch?” she asked. Lucien flashed an arrogant smile that Nesta had quickly realized was his go-to. “Tamlin’s idea. Thought it would make me look less…threatening.”

“You can tell him it’s not working,” Nesta snapped. Her voice shook a little on the last word, and she clenched her fists in her lap. She was trying so hard to be brave for Elain, but she couldn’t deny her fear. Lucien could rip the three of them to shreds in seconds and not break a sweat. She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to take a deep breath.

“Hey,” Lucien said, surprisingly gentle this time. “I’m not going to hurt you. Feyre is my friend, and she cares about you.”

“Sure she does,” Nesta choked. Don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry. “It’s been months since we heard from her, not a note or fuck you or anything. And now we find out she’s getting married to a High Lord? Will she even be safe there, surrounded by so many enemies?”

Lucien bit his lip, seemingly debating something. “I should probably warn you about something.”

Nesta sniffed. “What?”

Lucien took a deep breath, bracing himself for their reactions. He knew it wouldn’t be good; these people had grown up fearing the Fae, and for good reason. It couldn’t be nice to find out their sister was one of them.

“Your sister…she died freeing us from our High Queen. The only way to save her was for every High Lord to give her a piece of themselves. So, when Feyre’s eyes opened once more, she was reborn as one of the High Fae.”

Elain gasped. Nesta went inhumanly still. Then she took a few deep breaths, as though trying to calm herself. “So she’s one of you now.”

“She’s still the same person, Nesta,” Lucien tried to explain. “Just…stronger.”

“She has become the very thing we fear. She is not the same.” Nesta began moving her thigh up and down. Lucien sighed, scrubbing a hand over his face. “We’re not all so bad, Lady Nesta. Many Fae fought tooth and nail to free you from slavery. Tamlin was too young to do so, but I can assure you that he and I would’ve fought for the humans had we been able to. And with me, Alis, Tamlin, and now your sister, I can assure you that no one will dare lay a finger on you or your family during your stay,” he murmured.

Elain tilted her head, peering at Lucien. “You are not much like Feyre’s High Lord.”

It was amusing to hear the way Feyre’s sisters spoke of Tamlin. Tamlin was one of the most powerful High Lords ever born, but to these ladies, he was just Feyre’s High Lord. 

“No, I am not,” Lucien confirmed. Elain smiled slightly. “He was…odd.”

“You can say it, Elain. He was violent and beastly,” Nesta muttered. Lucien snickered. “You’re talking about his little entrance? Tamlin never was good at communication. That’s why I’m here.” Lucien pulled a knife out of his belt and began twirling it in his hands. Nesta continued to stare at him, as though trying to figure out his weakness.

“Are you missing an eye?”

Lucien raised a brow at Nesta’s bold question. “Not exactly,” he replied.

“Take off the mask,” Nesta ordered.

Lucien grinned. He could sense the woman’s fear, but she was not backing down. How brave. Lucien could respect that.

“I’m afraid I only take commands from my High Lord, and he gave me strict instructions to keep it on,” he drawled.

Nesta did not back down, holding his stare. “He said that under the assumption that we would be scared if we saw what was underneath. But I think we’d trust you more if you showed your true face. Right, Elain?”

Elain bowed her head softly. “You shouldn’t have to hide yourself for our convenience,” she said softly. The diplomatic one, then.

“Alright,” Lucien said. “But don’t say I didn’t warn you.” Lucien slipped his fingers underneath the eye patch and pulled it off.

[another-supernova-girl]

The New Normal - Cooper Adams/Abbott x Fem Reader

Based on the following request from an anon : "Even after everything you've done I still love you with all that I am" with cooper adams hehe 💓 This is clearly canon-divergent, but I doubt anyone will mind. I re-worked the prompt quote just a tiny bit, but I'm sure it will still get the point across ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Gif is mine. MY JOSH HARTNETT CHARACTER MASTERLIST CAN BE FOUND HERE.

(( word count : ~ 1,100 ))

Much like any job, being the administrative assistant to the chief of the local fire department had its pros, and cons. Up until recently, said pros had only barely outweighed the cons : a steady paycheck, relatively predictable working hours, and a reliable view of a certain charming, handsome, and unfortunately married firefighter. Ever since the dissolution of that marriage, however, the clerical employee's working environment had become substantially more pleasant.

Her long-standing crush on him hadn't exactly been a secret, and although she had not made any attempt to act on it – the rumor of an affair between herself and Cooper Abbott had begun to swirl as soon as news of his impending divorce had hit the fire station. The theories between the firemen and various staff had of course been false, but even Cooper had begun to actively take notice of her, and her obvious attraction to him. And when he'd asked her out to dinner at the end of a shift one night, weeks after he'd ceased to wear his wedding ring, she'd answered in the affirmative before he'd even managed to finish his invitation. Months had passed since that first night, and they had been an item ever since.

🔪

“I really don't understand why I'm even being questioned,” Cooper stated, irritation in his voice, as he loomed over the police officer interrogating him, arms crossed, shoulder twitching slightly.

“It's protocol, Mr. Abbott. We're questioning everyone that fits the description,” the cop answered. “If you have nothing to hide, answering a few questions shouldn't be a problem,” he explained. “Now, we've spoken to every other fireman of the estimated height range and build, and your own chief confirmed you were unaccounted for on the eighteenth, so we just need to know your whereabouts.”

None of your fucking business, Cooper thought as he felt his eye twitch, glancing around for some sort of diversion. He'd managed to make it out of a marriage of fifteen years without his violent proclivities being detected, and he certainly wasn't about to be discovered now.

“He was with me,” a feminine voice declared, and both the officer and The Butcher glanced in surprise toward the direction of the source. “He was with me,” she repeated, and Cooper's firehouse paramour stepped into view, reaching for his hand when he offered it, his brows knit together in bemusement as he watched her eyes that avoided his own.

“Ma'am, you've already been accounted for, that's not-”

“No, um...we've been...dating, and it's sort of frowned upon with the two of us working together, and all...I was on the clock, and we shouldn't have...we just couldn't help ourselves,” she gave a half-hearted smile, shrugging her shoulders as Cooper's hand abandoned hers, only to find a new home at her waist, his thumb rubbing absently as the stark white blouse she wore. “Cooper just...didn't want me to get in trouble.”

There was silence between the three, the cop, the killer, and the alibi. The officer seemed to be contemplating their story, deciding whether it would better serve him to simply move on to the next possible suspect, when a shout from down the hallway drew all their attention. Cooper glanced down to the young woman beside him as the sound of the fire chief's bellowing voice called out her name, and with the briefest grasp of her hand, his thumb grazing over the inside of her wrist, the unmarred spot that mirrored his tattoo, she slipped from his embrace. “I'm...I'm sorry again, officer,” she called as she exchanged a glance with Cooper, before disappearing from sight.

🔪

Late afternoon eventually drifted into night, the assistant managing to hide away in the filing room and distract herself with paperwork, guiltily thankful when sirens had gone off in the fire station shortly after the confrontation with the investigator, Cooper being pulled away to preform his protective duties. His girlfriend had managed to avoid him the rest of the night, or so she thought, as she clocked out on her computer and gathered her effects, disappearing down the empty hallway that led to the back door of the facility.

“I know you don't think we aren't going to talk about this,” Cooper's voice sounded before she managed to round the last corner, just before the exit, her body visibly shuddering at the sudden rasp of his voice.

“I...I think the words you're looking for are 'thank you',” she stated as she tried to slide past him, reaching for the door handle, Cooper's large hand circling her wrist before she could rotate it.

“Someone's been keeping secrets,” he mumbled as he tugged lightly at her wrist, guiding her further away from her escape, out of the field of vision of the closest security camera.

“I prefer to think of it as playing dumb,” she breathed out as her back finally made contact with a wall, The Butcher cutting off any inkling of an escape between the smooth, painted surface behind her and his imposing frame.

“And how long have you been playing dumb?” Cooper murmured, his empty hand finding her free wrist and capturing it as he had the other, placing them both against the wall.

Silence filled the emptiness surrounding them for several seconds before her voice finally sounded again. “Since you were still happily married,” she admitted, his thumbs ghosting over her pulse points, her heart beat accelerating from more than just the anxiety of standing in the grasp of his physical control. “Maybe I...maybe the 'dumb' part isn't really an act-mmph” Her words stifled in her throat as she felt his plush lips against her trembling mouth. The force she'd half-expected in the aftermath of her confession didn't materialize, his kiss just as sweet and tender as ever, the flit of his tongue teasing her own, punctuated by briefer, though no less appreciated caresses of his skin against her own. “Even after everything you've done, I...,” her words dried up in her throat as she felt him draw away, no more than an inch, his warm breath on her prickling flesh as his face disappeared against her throat, his lips finding more skin to manipulate, “I still...” The Butcher's hand fisted in her hair as her wrists fell from their perch on the wall, slipping between layers of fabric that clung to his body, winding along his back, beneath his heavy jacket.

“Do you love me,” he rasped, more manipulation of a different flavor as he stood up straighter, a hand finding her jaw and tilting her chin until she could look nowhere else but his cold, piercing eyes.

“With all that I am.”

🔪 🔪 🔪 🔪 🔪 🔪 🔪 🔪 🔪 🔪 🔪 🔪 🔪

tagging : @one-of-thewalkingdead , @gissellec1 , @pinkflowerwombat , @sashimeep , @strangererotica , @the-butchers-baby , @callsign-fangirl , @hibiskooks , @jessy02 , @charliehoennam , @pinastrihaven , @amethystblackkchaos , @bleeding-heartz , @gt-rxn , @simplymurdock

If I forgot anyone, I apologize, and please let me know if you want to be tagged in the next one

COMMENTS AND REBLOGS AND TAGS ARE DEEPLY APPRECIATED.💙

[saintsenara]

You mentioned in your post about the war of the roses and the snape/marauder dynamics that James chose to wash snape’s mouth out for cursing because he found that behavior uncouth, but in your fic you have James and Sirius use more explicit language. Do you think that James just finds it uncouth coming from snape’s mouth? Is it a class thing? Or does he just not like swearing? Love that fic btw!

thank you very much for the ask, anon! and thank you for the shoutout to the war of the roses!

now, let's be frank, the reason why the fic contains more explicit language than the canon text is because i don't need to get it past the censors in a children's literature publishing house. order of the phoenix has to keep it vague - snape's "stream of mixed swear words and hexes" - in a way which allows there to be a bit of ambiguity about what exact language is being used to offend james so much. i - on the other hand - can have snape call a cunt a cunt.

but yes, it's also class-based hypocrisy.

which is to say, it's the result of classic in-group vs out-group stuff - in which a behaviour is fine when it's done within the group [when it's done by us], but unacceptable when it's done outside of the group [when it's done by them] or across group lines [when it's done to us by them].

a real-world example would be how men are generally happy to use cruder or less polite language when in an all-male group, without the use of this language being understood as indicating negative character traits like crudeness or rudeness on the part of any of the men within the group.

[what it indicates, instead, is masculinity.]

a woman who joins the group and uses the exact same language, on the other hand, is likely to be perceived as crude, rude, or coarse.

the tone and register of language - and accents, dialects, and so on, which fall under this umbrella - is a really key aspect of the maintenance of divisions between social classes in a hierarchical system. it's not that the language being used is unrecognisably distinct between different class-groups, it's that the class groups at the top of the pile are able to discriminate against those lower down by deciding to categorise their language as indicating something negative, while regarding their own as neutral/positive.

and so james and sirius can understand their use of vulgar language as only taking place within a set of parameters which make this language acceptable. in contrast, they see snape as always existing outside of these parameters. they are sophisticated, and their language simply adds colour to their witty conversation. he is ill-bred and worthy of censure.

[this - as an aside - is part of what lily's talking about when she says that james is "as bad as" snape is. she's not saying that james' bullying of snape is equal - or lesser - in severity than any attacks snape launches on james, nor is she saying that james messing up his hair etc. is equivalent in terms of offensiveness to snape calling her a mudblood, and nor is she saying that she thinks james needs to dispense with his hatred of snape. what she's saying is that james is a hypocrite - that he justifies his behaviour to himself with the idea that it's for some great, acceptable reason and castigates his victims' behaviour as unacceptable - and what she's asking him to do isn't to suddenly become sweetness and light, it's to - as sirius puts it - "deflate his head" and stop pretending he's some sort of righteous legend. she doesn't mind him being a prick, she just wants him to be an honest one.]

[dark-konohagakure2]

Hello!

I would like to Request a fic where Hinata fell in love with a younger Kuinoichi and gets obsessed with her. All of Hinatas submissive tendencies disappear when she is with the young woman and all she wants is to dominate her.

tw: dub/noncon, fingering, nipple sucking, cheating, age difference, MDLG elements, praise, power imbalance, mommy kink, manipulation

All characters depicted are 18+

Hinata is a very content woman, she's married to the love of her life and has two beautiful children whom she adores, but being the Hokage's wife can be hard at times, while she is respected as both the Hyuga heiress and first lady of Konoha, she can get rather lonely when Naruto is away from home for so long. But at least she has her children, and their rather interesting friends.

Boruto has been in the house less and less since becoming an adult, but he still comes by occasionally to see his mother and sister, he'll even sometimes bring a friend or two along for his family to get acquainted with, and it's one of those days where Boruto brings a friend home, a kunoichi around his age who he's been friends with for a while, and when Hinata meets this young lady for the first time, she feels a burning, almost scary desire that she's never felt before.

It's not the same feelings that welled up in Hinata when she met Naruto for the first time, it's something much darker, predatory even, it's an almost primal desire to dominate, hardly befitting the elegant Uzumaki matriarch. Hinata doesn't know what to make of these feelings, she's never found herself attracted to another woman before, especially not like this, but she quickly starts to like the new feelings this girl awakens in her, it's a rush, Hinata isn't stuttering at all and her usually soft voice hardens imperceptibly.

Hinata is able to get her alone surprisingly easy, Boruto is almost always in a rush and running off at a moment's notice, and Hinata is trustworthy enough for the girl to feel comfortable around her, and Hinata will make sure she's very comfortable, she's a good mother after all, and this young lady looks like she could really use a loving mommy right now.

"Have you been being nice to my son..? Oh that's good, good girl... Just think of yourself as a member of this family then, and think of me as your mommy..."

Hinata takes her role as a mommy very seriously, it's her job to keep her babygirl obedient and happy, so that's exactly what Hinata will do. While in a more dominant mindset, she'll still be gentle with her lively new friend, there will be plenty of time for Hinata to demonstrate her secret collection of toys later, for now she wants her guest to feel welcome.

While gentle, she is firm too, holding the girl's head firmly against Hinata's own generous breast as her fingers find their way into her panties, Hinata has enough experience with touching herself to know where girls like to be stimulated, but Hinata won't give her the instant gratification she most likely craves, the purple haired woman wants to draw it out, make it as slow and steady as possible.

Hinata will feel a slight twing of guilt for betraying Naruto in such a way behind his back, but she'll quickly push those feelings aside, she knows her husband is a kind and understanding man who understands that Hinata is a woman with needs like anyone else, and he'd probably want to dominate such an adorable little morsel too, so in the end Hinata feels little to no guilt, just a desire to love and dominate this girl.

She won't drag things out forever as much as she wants to, Hinata wants to see how adorable her plaything looks when she's cumming all over Hinata's fingers, her whines of pleasure and discomfort muffled by the older woman's mature breast in her mouth. But Hinata won't be completely satisfied after coaxing out just one measly orgasm, after all she's been aching for quite some time to be pleasured too.

"Good girl~ You came so much for Mommy... Now why don't you come to my room, hmm? My husband won't be home for a while, so I can show you all the fun toys I use when he's away..."

Hinata is glad she finally has someone to spend time with when her dear husband is away, which is often given his duty as Hokage, she's been feeling rather lonely lately, but now she has a little girlfriend to spend some much needed girl time with.

[tyrantisterror]

At Sea Without a Map pt. 20

Perhaps unsurprisingly, you feel overwhelmingly concerned with Calibani's well-being. Even as you're pulled in three other directions, the drive to go to check on her is stronger than all of them combined. A good 38% or so of your mind asks you whether you might be getting too attached to this woman-who's-actually-a-monster that you've only known for, what, two days or so? It adds that you should be careful since you've been alone for a while. You're vulnerable, you need to take care of yourself.

You tell that part of your mind to fuck off. Well over half of you thinks it's full of shit anyway.

You find your sea-monster predator-turned-friend? leaning against the side of your boat and resting her face on her hand, her eyes scanning the horizon with a troubled expression on her face. Immediately you feel your concern is justified, and you don't even hide the haste in your step as you close the distance between the two of you. "Calibani, what's wrong?"

Her eyes go wide when she hears your voice, and she hastily puts on a big smile as she turns to face you, though you notice it doesn't reach her eyes. "Oh, nothing, Sailor!" she says with a dismissive wave of her hand. "Just tired, is all! Fighting that gloppy monster took a lot out of me!" She smiles again, bigger and more visibly forced this time, and says. "What about you? It's can't be fun for you dealing with all these..." Her smile falters for a fraction of a second. "These monsters trying to eat you..."

It's a deflection, and not even a very good one, but you worry if you call her on that it'll scare her into withdrawing further. "It's been harrowing," you say as you keep your gaze locked on her face. "But I imagine it's worse for you, since you're a lot more vulnerable now than you used to be."

Calibani frowns briefly, her eyes big and just a little watery, but she quickly plasters a smile back on. "Oh, I've never been the biggest fish in the pond," she laughs. "It's not the first time something's hunted me, and it won't be the last. At least I have a new weapon to defend myself with." She looks at her stork-headed spear, and her smile finally becomes genuine again. "Thank you for making it, by the way."

Now you get to wave dismissively. "Please, you're the one who made it useful. I think you did as much damage to that thing as the boat."

Calibani's smile grows wider as her eyes flicker with worry again. "Yeah, I hurt it pretty bad," she says with clearly feigned enthusiasm, and again tries to change the topic. "It was so clever of you to hit it with your boat. What a finishing move!"

"Well, it worked for me bef..." you stop mid-sentence as you realize that Calibani knows exactly when you last hit a monster with your boat, and that it's likely a bit of a traumatic memory for her. But there's really no way to end that sentence differently, and so you just whisper out, "...fore..." as an awkward silence falls between you. As both of you stand there quietly not making eye contact, your eyes fall upon her tail, which once again hangs over the side of the ship.

"You're tail's hanging off the side of the ship," you say, stating the obvious.

Calibani looks at it. "Yeah, it is," she says quietly.

"Aren't you worried something will grab it again?"

She shakes her head, and her big mane oh hair attached to it wiggles with the motion. "The water feels so good on my scales and fin," she explains. "I think the time spent enjoying that will outweigh any time spent getting grabbed or bitten, so it's worth the risk. Besides, if something grabs my tail, I can warn you that trouble is coming, so we'll be better off in the end anyway."

You decide not to argue with her logic. "Well, let me know if you need anything," you suggest, unsure of what else to say at the moment.

"Will do, sweetness!" she replies with a bright, fake smile.

With a nod, you leave her to her thoughts, deciding to wait and see if maybe she'll open up later. It's time to focus on the second task at hand, anyway, the whole reason you came here: you need to search these boats.

It's slow, methodical work, and at first it doesn't yield much for all the labor involved. All the wrecked and capsized ships are a bust, their contents either lost to the sea or so water-damaged they're basically useless. The boats that are right-side up provide a bit more - some non-perishable or at least not rotten food here (and, to Calibani's assured delight, some salt, pepper, garlic, and paprika), a few useful tools there, even some clothes that you decide to pocket in hopes of adding to your wardrobe (and, notably, a few more sweaters that seem like they might fit Calibani, though a couple might need to be stretched out a bit first).

In one boat, however, you find something truly interesting. It seems rather bland at first - a briefcase, kind of fancy but not something that seems promising at a glance, with a logo on its side that seems vaguely familiar to you: Spindle Inc.

The name sounds familiar, and you wrack your brain about where you heard it before. Isn't Spindle one of those big tech companies, the ones that make a shitload of money but no one's quite sure what the hell they actually do or sell? You realize this is one of the few specific memories of your life before the Sea that you can recall, and try to see if you can remember more details, but nothing comes to mind.

There's a lock on the briefcase, but luckily for you the former owner didn't remember to lock it. You decide to open it up, just to see if anything inside might further jog your spotty and unreliable memory.

Inside, you spot several documents, with the one on top reading, "Field Agent's Guide to the Sea of Monsters." Most of it uses jargon you can't begin to comprehend, but as you pour over it you come across some notes jotted in the margins.

"It's no use, the only way home is under." "Need a deep sea vessel." "North, South, East, West. Where did it come from?" "Can't risk going back to the lab, they won't let me go." "FIND DR. NEPTUNE." - underlined "Where is Neptune's base? Clues scant." "Captain Peter = only person who knows where Neptune is. Find him beyond the boat graveyard. We're close. I'm close. We're going home."

It's scattered and strange, but you think you get a sense of what this person was looking for. Someone named Dr. Neptune, who you can only find by meeting someone named Captain Peter, who is "beyond the boat graveyard," which you can guess from context is where you are right now. Seems your next destination is... well, ok, not really set, but you know where to go looking next, and that's something, dammit!

Of course, looking requires sailing, and that reminds you that you should probably check on your boat. It's been running well enough, but you've had collisions with two large creatures in about as many days, more or less, so it's good to give things a looksee.

Most things seem in order - no leaks, no dents, no strange noises from your engine (because you're not even sure this boat has an engine, much less where it is or what noises it should make, since the damn thing has always been eerily quiet). Only one thing seems out of place.

There's a... stain? you think? on the front of your boat, a jagged red stain that looks eerily like a mouth. It must be the globster's blood, you tell yourself, except wasn't the globster's blood more of a, like, melonoma black sort of color, that putrescent shade of black that's got other colors mixed in like a mess of spilled paint? And it was chunky when it came out, so how is it smeared so neat and smoothly.

Unless... maybe it's paint? Yeah, that's it, it's paint! How could you forget the cute little shark smile that was painted on your boat, that sharp-toothed painted on grin it's always had as long as you've known it? Of course that smile's always been there, it's probably the reason you picked this boat in the first place whenever... whenever you found it, or bought it, probably? Who wouldn't want the goofy grinning shark boat?

Regardless, nothing is wrong with your boat, as it's in perfectly ship shape. You've got a heading, you've got a working ship, and you've defeated a hideous monster that wanted to eat you and, perhaps worst of all, seemed to be British. If anything calls for celebration, this is it. Going below deck, you break out one of your rarest treasures: a bottle of red wine you found, unopened and of, well, a vintage you hope is good (you don't know shit about wine, you're not Donald Pleasance). It's time to break out the salted meat, cook some of those potatoes you found among the ships, and make a night of it!

You go below deck and make as decent a meal as your conditions with allow, then invite Calibani to eat with you. The two of you share the best meal you've cooked yet, and while the little "ooo's" and "mmm's" Calibani makes while eating show she enjoys the food, you can't help noticing she still looks awfully troubled.

"Did you notice?" you say as you finish your meal. "That it tastes different, I mean."

She nods. "It's good," she says quietly.

"That's cause I found some spices," you say proudly, hoping for a big reaction. But while Calibani smiles, it once again fails to reach her eyes. "Did I oversell how good spices are?" you ask.

"No, no, I'm sorry," she says. "It's really good, best I've had, honest, but..." She looks down at the floor and sighs. "Do you... hate me?"

You stare blankly at her, completely dumbstruck by that question. "What?"

Panic flares behind Calibani's eyes as she throws up her hands and animatedly explains, "It's just that you've been attacked by monsters that want to kill you three days in a row and one of them was me! And the other two are dead - I killed one, we killed the other together, and - and I just don't get it, because you didn't kill me when you could have, and I'm just worried..." She stops her ranting to catch her breath. "I'm worried that you don't like killing and that I've forced you to do it and you hate me for it, or that you hate those creatures for trying to kill you and that means you hate me because I tried to kill you, and I never thought of killing as a personal thing before but now that you put the thought in my mind it's all I'm thinking about and I feel terrible about everything and just - just - do you hate me?"

"Uh... wow," is all you manage to say.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she says quickly, "I didn't mean - oh no, you do hate me, don't you?"

"No, no!" you say just as quickly, your hand instinctively touching your compass. "In fact, I'd go so far to say that my mind keeps being pulled in a direction that likes you quite a lot."

She cocks her head at you and squints, confused by your phrasing despite understanding the jist of it. "Um... well, I mean... why though? I tried to kill you, just like that bird and the... the globster thing we just killed." She looks thoughtfully at the floor. "What makes me different? Why did you spare me?"

That's... actually hard to answer. So, as you do with all hard choices, you consult your compass.

[laduenadelswing]

Roommate Simon, who hates baths.

“Hi Simon, do you might if I come home late ? The girls want to go out, but I know you come home from Deployment today…”

“I don't care, nobody can listen to your yapping anyway.” He replied, but it was a lie. He loved to hear her yap about the most mundane things, like she has no care in the world. She was so aloof and free, while he was stoic and cold. To simon you were more than roommates, but he had no gut to confess, what would be the use anyway? He was almost always on a mission, putting his life at risk, you were studying hard to become someone stable.

But when Simon walked into the flat that night, he couldn't believe his senses. Everything smelled like roses and vanilla. The lights were dimly light, the radio was playing some soft music. He went to the kitchen table to find his favourite home-cooked meal and a small letter.

“Enjoy the food, but have a bath first, it's relaxing…” He couldn't suppress his smile, you were always so thoughtful. Simon never regretted moving in with a woman, especially not with you. They are cleaner and more compassionate, after all. Since Simon hated bathes, he was trying to avoid the fact that you were right, his body was aching, half heald wounds, scratches and scars, all his bones felt used and stressed. He laid in the bathtub as the warm water covered him, pulled him into a warm embrace. Damn, it is relaxing after all, is what crossed Simon's mind as he was further sinking into the warm feeling of the water. ´He spent some well deserved free time in the water, but deep down he wanted to have your quirky, free spirted ass in there. Maybe he was staring at you, whenever you were home, maybe he was staring at a picture of yours whenever he was on a mission, maybe he never had the guts to tell you that.

When he finally excited his warm refuge, Simon swiftly put a towel around his waist and went back into the kitchen to get a portion of your delicious food, wrapping his big hands around it and falling onto the sofa, he ate it like a starving man. Your food was so good, he could not get enough of it.

The door creaked open, you wanted to stay silent not to wake Ghost up so late. “ whatcha doin?” Simon asked, his thick accent too distinctive not to recognize it immediately. You turned around, a little taken aback bis his sudden appearance and the influence of alcohol, as well as the fact that he stood there with only a towel around his waist. “I was trying to not wake you up.” You shrugged. He pulled you into a tight hug, his clean skin a stark contrast to yours. Simon was not a man of many words.

Instead, he let you go off, only to pick you up bridal style and carry you into your room. “ Simon, how can I fall for another man when you treat me like a princess?” You asked him as he put you onto your fluffy bed. Whenever Simon was there, he did everything to make you feel good, he picked you up, he waited until you came home from your nights out, he would even accompany you when he thought the club or bar could be dangerous. Simon looked at you with a undetachable expression, as if he was looking into your soul, searching for answers.

“You can't. ” he stated as he slowly closed the distance between your lips.