#chats ⸻ roman & alara

[isolatednights]

"ahh, so you're telling me i should get my own little bachelor pad ready in here? pretty sure one of the houses near by would suit just fine," unless alara specifically asked for her own living space, roman would be hard pressed to be anywhere but right down the hall - near her. "you've got nothing to worry about. you know i'll always come back for you." at first, it had almost felt like an obligation. when they'd first begun to travel together, the man had wanted to keep her safe - a civilian who'd never had to deal with the sort of hardship and violence he'd seen on his multiple tours. but over time, it had stopped becoming an obligation and instead a pure desire. roman cared about the woman - probably for longer than he'd realized until recently.

sitting still was likely to drive him mad, but perhaps he'd find something that allowed him to tinker. carving wood - maybe a chess set? or trying his hand at fixing some electronic or another - assuming they could get solar up and running. "if it makes you happy, i'm sure i can find something to keep me still for a while. i'll try and get out to a library or bookstore before i stay put for the season. see if i can't find some DIY or informational books on useful topics. things we can use to improve this place come spring."

dark hues roamed over her features - ignoring the suggestion of inviting john by regularly in favor of lingering on her proximity and words. settling an arm around her shoulders, the man drew alara closer - dropping a kiss to the top of her head. "this is nice," the moment the words slipped from his lips, roman wanted to smack himself. "i mean - fuck. what i meant was, lets do this more sweetheart, yeah? we deserve the normalcy. i wanna be able to give that to you."

The idea that she could want to get rid of him was ridiculous but Alara decided to play his game instead of denying any of it. "You're right, one dinner and already, I can't stand you," she teased. The idea that Roman would not do as many supply runs once winter came eased into her. "I always worry when you're gone," she added softly. It would feel good to have him around, to not spent so much time fearing something might have happened to him. Not knowing if he would come back or not. This place was as close to old life they could have, she was certain of it and she knew she was getting too comfortable but she couldn't fight it, even less now, full and warm, the wine getting to her head. Her cheeks were rosé from it all and her eyes sparkling. It was just too easy, in that moment, to forget the way the world was now and it was exactly what she wanted, to stop worrying for a night, to just enjoy the fact that they were here.

Alara's heart fluttered when Roman sat close to her. It wasn't the first time they were near but it was one of the first one when there was nothing but contentment in her, nothing to worry about, no fear present in her mind and body. "I think I might actually love the sight of you being still, at least as long as it isn't driving you mad," she said with a laugh. Days and nights like this one were in the cards for the winter and judging by the success it had been, she had no doubts it would be interesting. Of course, today Roman had things to do but Alara knew she would find things for him to fix if needed, even if she had to break some of them herself, not that she'd tell him that. "I don't see a problem with that. This couch is suddenly very comfortable, don't you think?" It had been musty when they got here but it mostly needed a good cleaning and to be aired out. "We should invite him weekly, or something like that. Keep good relationships between neighbours."

As if things could be that simple, good meals and laughters that stretched long into the night. Her cheeks burned as he called her sweetheart, even if it wasn't the first time Roman did such a thing. To her slightly drunken mind and heart, it sounded like there was something more behind the words. Alara leaned into the couch, her head titling, mirroring Roman. Her legs curled beneath her and she released a deep sigh of happiness. "This feels good," she finally said as she looked deep into Roman's eyes. If she wasn't careful, she would let the wine get even more to her head and might do something she'll regret, like leaning in to kiss the man. Instead she closed her eyes and let her head rest on his shoulder, her heart beating frantically.

[isolatednights]

there might've been an itch to get things taken care of now - but it was one the man ignored when he'd spoken - knowing the smile that she graced him with would be far more satisfying of a reward. "just you wait. cold this year'll undoubtedly slow me down. now that we have someplace safe to hunker down. warmth, food. you'll start to think you're living with a slug. want nothing more than to get rid of me. might even encourage those trips i make outside the wall for supplies," he teases.

an understanding nod leaves the man before he's crossing the space to sit beside her. a great sigh escapes him - entirely content as the man leans back and tilts his head to look over at her. "better i ease you into the sight of me sitting still, otherwise you might go into shock this winter." they both know he won't actually be as still as he claims, likely finding ways to putter around their little home, but it's a nice thought. "full bellies, the buzz of alcohol and a warm fire? it's just asking for us to fall asleep on the couch if we aren't careful." in instances like this, it was easy to forget the world wasn't what is used to be. this? it all felt horribly normal, and once again roman found himself grateful they'd been taken in by john. "best damn meal i've had in a long time, sweetheart. would've questioned john's sanity if he hadn't enjoyed the meal or the company."

To say the night had been a success would have been an understatement in Alara's mind, if only for the way Roman had relaxed into the evening and doing nothing but take a moment to breathe. She had meant it, earlier, when she said she owed a lot to the man. And if this was what she had to offer in return, she was glad to do it. He had worked to keep them going, so hard, even now and here, it seemed like he never stopped. Except for tonight and it had been something that warmed her, maybe more than the wine they drank. The two together were a dangerous combination, she could feel it. Happiness was dangerous now but for tonight, Alara decided to lean into it entirely. Then there was also the way John had also seemed to enjoy himself and for once, the woman didn't feel worthless, she felt valuable and not so scared that he would ask her to leave. He had to have been lonely, all this time, and what Roman had said earlier was true, them together were an assets to the other man.

"Sounds like the best idea you ever had," she said with a big smile and sparkling eyes. She was tipsy, maybe even more than that but she didn't care. But she knew she would try to get up earlier than him tomorrow to be the one doing those dishes and not him. At least that was the idea when he spoke but she wasn't certain how tomorrow morning would feel like, all things considered. "But I don't know if you really can relax any more than that." She was teasing him, the restless man who didn't seem to be able to ever slow down. Her words were also half a challenge thrown his way. All of this felt so normal, so like before in a way, not that she ever hang with someone like Roman before. Maybe that was the one good thing out of all of this, finding him. No, she couldn't allow herself to think like that.

"I don't think I could sleep right now. I'm just too full and no longer used to that," she said with a soft laugh. They had been eating well since coming here but tonight had been another thing entirely and it was a feeling of fullness she never thought she would ever have again. "Leave the plates, we'll take care of that tomorrow morning too. Just sit with me, if that's something you can do." There were few things she wanted more than that right now, to just sit and do nothing with Roman. "Fire still has a couple of hours of burning." And then, because just like Roman's body, her mind was always restless, she spoke again. "John seemed to enjoy himself. Think he likes having the both of us around."

[isolatednights]

roman couldn't exactly say what prompted him to allow his tongue to loosen and release the compliments he'd done well to keep to himself up until recently, but if asked, he'd blame it on the circumstances. they'd found somewhere to settle, and there was something oddly... normal about how things had transpired that day. coming home to her as if they were a proper couple - discussing the future alongside some playful bantering. it's what causes his lips to curl further into an amused smirk. "i don't know, i think i might be willing to test my skill against him," roman is getting ready to continue - but the threat of dishes causes a bark of laughter to escape him. "i'll do the dishes anyways, you minx. but i'll get out of your hair properly, promise."

"best thing i've smelled in a long time, sweetheart. 'm sure it's delicious. john and i are thankful you cooked for us." the other man offers a grunt of agreement, flashing a look between the two of them, "you two are going to spoil an old man." it's coupled with a smile - rare from the other man, from what roman can recall, and that alone seems like a success.

by the time plates are picked clean of food and the bottle of wine has been drained between the three of them, the light has long since left the sky. roman offered to walk john back to the home he'd claimed as his own on several occasions, only to be waved off after each attempt. by the time they'd seen the man out the front door, roman admittedly had a slight buzz. "it was a good dinner," he remarks, gaze roaming to alara as he returns toward the dining room. "i'll take care of the dishes in the morning. lets just relax the rest of the night, if thats alright? unless you're ready to call it a night."

Roman had been good looking before, even with the full beard he had, but there was something different about him now. It seemed as if some weight had lifted off him and even if she didn't want to award it entirely to her making this dinner and having him try and relax for once, she couldn't help but wonder if this was a glimpse of the man he once was, the one he could be if they stayed here and stopped running. It was something that make her heart skip a beat and when he called her pretty, she couldn't help but smile widely as she felt her check heated with the redness that was covering them. Alara averted her gaze for a second, all of it sending butterflies in her stomach, the good kind, but also the kind she couldn't allow herself to feel. "You'd be surprise how resourceful and capable he is," she added teasingly. Still, her words were full of honesty, Roman being the reason she was able to stand in a kitchen, preparing such a feast. "I owe him a lot so don't try anything mister." Alara felt warm, happy, and she wanted to bask in that feeling, one she thought she would never feel again. "You'll be on dishes duty if you don't stop bothering me." He wasn't bothering her, not at all, but she wanted him to relax and enjoy tonight without worrying or busying himself. It was the least she could do after everything he had done for her.

It was peaceful and it was a quiet she enjoyed, for once. It wasn't the kind that made her worry about what was coming next, on edge that nothing was coming at them. For the first time in so long, Alara let herself feel content and safe, something that was dizzying, in the best way possible. There was the worry that it could all go away, that it could be taken away from her but for tonight, she decided to not let that crept in the back of her mind. Alara would let her enjoy it, fully, even if it was only for one night. She deserved it so told herself, suppressing the pang that came with such a thought, because so many others deserved it too. "It's nothing too fancy," she said as she heard Roman and John come into the kitchen. Roman was full of compliments for her today and almost made her feel giddy. "Wouldn't have been possible without the both of you, so don't give me too much credit for it."

[isolatednights]

lips quirk at the instruction, the man having expected the words long before they left her lips but being unable to help himself from offering in the first place. "'m not in the kitchen," he remarks cheekily, leaning against the door frame as the little smile grows into a teasing grin. "oh? this housemate of yours left a pretty thing like you alone for any man to just wander inside? sounds like an idiot. fairly certain i could take him."

"don't think you've seen me without the beard before, huh?" he murmured, hand raising to run over the lower portion of his face. stubble when they'd met, maybe. but roman can't recall when they'd had time to worry about being prim and proper. "hair cut sounds good. i'd offer to do the same for you but... never was exactly a stylist," he chuckles. tugging the book from beneath his arm, fingers tap against the cover once or twice before nodding. "ya, ok. i'll be in the living room, just shout if you need anything, ya?" roman finds himself hesitating ⸻ hovering in the doorway several more seconds before nodding once more and dragging himself from her orbit.

reclined back on the couch and only a handful of pages from where he's picked the book back up, it doesn't take long for the familiar sound of the front door creaking open to alert him ⸻ and it's only the familiar call of john's greeting that keeps the man from tensing. pushing himself up to go properly greet the man, roman leads him into the dining room with a grin. "smells good," he calls again toward the kitchen, "alara's clearly spoiling us. full credit to her for this feast."

Cooking was something Alara liked to do before the dead started to roam and until she was in a position to do it again, she hadn't realized how much she had missed it. She knew she was lucky to have the things she did now, to be able to eat enough, to not go hungry anymore. And yet, there were still things she missed and she sighed to herself as she looked at the pantry, knowing she wouldn't be able to serve the kind of dessert she would have want. It was such a ridiculous thing to yearn for, all things considered, but it was still on her mind. Despite the things she lacked, as the hour went on, she realized that the meal she had put together would still be a feast, all thanks to Roman's rabbit and bottle of wine. The house was starting to smell good, and that part was due to the herbs she had planted since getting here. Now if only she could have butter more often, her world would be practically perfect. Having a cow was not something Alara thought she would one day want but here she was, wishing for farm animals. She knew that she was getting too comfortable if that was what she wished for and she felt guilty for it, but she still couldn't help it. The woman cherished what Roman had found them. Focusing on what was going on in the kitchen was hard, the man's words echoing in her mind. The way he called her sweetheart and said he would make an effort, just for her, put butterflies in her stomach. She had to refrain herself from telling him she found him attractive no matter what he looked like, convinced it would be inappropriate. But if she was honest, the rugged lumberjack, as he had called it, was more than doing it for her.

"I want you out of the kitchen," she said as she shook her head not looking up, a small laugh escaping her. He was incapable of not trying to help and do something. She liked it and wasn't complaining, but she wanted to do this for him, if only once. Coming winter, she would accept his help, just so he had something to do, but for now, he was occupied enough. Finally turning to look at him, Alara found herself speechless at the transformation. For a second, all she could do was stare. "I'm warning you, I'm not alone in the house sir," she said teasingly, as if a stranger had just walked in. "My housemate will not like this intrusion." Alara couldn't keep herself from laughing. "You clean good, but you still need an haircut. I can do it tomorrow if you'd like. Who knew there was an actual face under all of that." She knew, oh she knew, it was a face she liked a little bit too much. "I'm almost done here, just need to finish the dishes while everything cook. You can go ahead and read that book of yours. John should be here shortly."

[isolatednights]

"come on now, i'm not that bad," he chuckles, knowing each words thats just escaped him is a lie. roman had always been good at giving in to the little requests ( those he'd weighed and determined harmless ), but rest had never been one of them. before, he'd needed to keep himself busy ⸻ keep himself looking over his shoulder in order to ensure they were both safe ( even long before he'd started to develop feelings for alara, he'd known that if something had happened to her because he'd let his guard down, roman would have lost himself as well ). now, the thought of relaxing, if only for a brief few hours, was tempting enough that the man had no problem caving to the request. scrubbing a hand over the unruly beard that had begun to take over the lower half of his face, roman can't help but flash her a grin, "rugged lumberjack not doing it for you? pity. i'll see if we've got something to tame it back then, nice and neat, just for you sweetheart. comb my hair back and pull out my best clothes just for you." a rumble of laughter escapes him at the thought, knowing best anything these days was still a pair of jeans, work boots and maybe a t-shirt. "us, sitting still for months at a time? sounds like a disaster waiting to happen. not a rush, sure, but better to start getting ideas, yeah?"

"keep it just for us then. can't imagine he'll ask." still, it's something roman makes silent note to keep an eye out for in the future. wine is by no means an essential, but if he can slip a bottle or two in during his supply runs to bring back to alara, who seems far to pleased by the idea? well, he'd do just that. "i'm going, i'm going," he murmurs, casting her one last glance before trudging up the stairs with one last chuckle.

it takes him longer than he'd care to admit to get presentable ⸻ the little pair of scissors he finds in the bathroom making the process of trimming back his beard painfully slow before he's capable of shaving off the rest. roman notes he'll need a hair cut at some point, and figures he can ask alara another night ( for now just brushing it out of his face and prioritizing changing into a clean set of clothes once he's properly showered ). returning to the first floor with a book under his arm that he's taken to reading on particularly restless nights, he pokes his head into the kitchen with a grin. "smells good. want me to set the table for you or anything?"

"About time," she said playfully as he finally agreed to do as she was asking him. If there was one thing she had come to learn about Roman, it was that he was a leader, even if it wasn't always how he saw himself. He had kept them going for so long that she could still see it times, how he was still looking for ways to do just that, going on. Even with how things had been, how peaceful it had been, it was still like a shadow following him around. And as it became clearer that they could be here to stay, Alara was slowly finding her own place, feeling more useful than she had been before. The woman was glad that her order, even if a gentle one, was being followed. "I won't need you for this and you need time to make yourself presentable. We might have to wait all night just for that." The words were said were a laugh. It was impossible for Alara to ignore the happiness bubbling inside of her, a feeling that had been so foreign since the world went to hell. "There's no rush, but we'll need to find a way to occupy ourselves. I don't know if we're both ready to not do much." There would be things to do, she knew that, they just needed to establish priorities and also found the time to relax. Winter would be the best moment for that, when they wouldn't be able to get out as much. It pleased Alara, how quick Roman was to take her ideas into considerations and find a way to make them work. They were a team, something that suddenly really hit her.

"You know what, I like that idea more, keeping something to ourselves. But if he brings it up, let's not say no." There was a twinkly in her eyes, a moment when she felt so light it was almost dizzying. Alara was still scared that John would not find her useful enough, she still felt the need to prove herself to him, but she had the conviction that Roman truly had her back. Turning back to the task at hand, the feast she promised, she chewed on her bottom lip for a second as she made a mental list of things to do and the order. "Yes, yes, I'll scream bloody murder if I need you, now go." Alara didn't want to hear from him until she was done. Roman deserved to be treated to a good time and it was exactly what she intended to do.

[isolatednights]

a soft chuckle escapes him ⸻ its clear the woman has no clue hoe she'd pull off such a feat, but in truth, the man isn't going to fight too hard to keep doing things. there are plenty of long days ahead in his future ⸻ ones that will be spent preparing them for the winter to come and by then he's likely to hate himself for not taking the break when it was offered to him. "alright then, i'll behave myself and do as you ask. but you need any help with dinner you let me know, alright?" at the mention of being a lion in a cage, roman can't help but agree. he'd never been one to sit still before, but since everything had happened, the man had grown familiar with being active. in the long, cold months where most of his time would be stuck inside and doing only a handful of maintenance tasks, he'd need to find something to do. "we'll ask him. maybe next time i go out you can poke around the unoccupied houses around here? see what they might have and i'll start keeping my eye out." and when she was otherwise occupied, he'd have to find ways to keep himself busy. maybe he'd try tinkering with something or another.

"a second bottle?" releasing a low whistle, the man flashes her a grin. "now you might be asking too much sweetheart." granted, a good bottle of wine and a nice, hearty meal did sound damned good ( and the company certainly wouldn't hurt either ). "we'll see how our host feels and worse case we can save it for ourselves another night, which i also wouldn't be opposed to. a drunken winter night maybe," he chuckles. "sure a thin sheet wouldn't hurt heating the space too badly, but we'll figure it out when the time comes." once the furniture was all rearranged to suit the time of year and they were several weeks or months into facing it they might want that divide ( even if it were small ). "yes ma'am. think i can manage that. i'll be down in a bit then. just holler if you need anything." with another flash of a smile in her direction, roman moves back in the direction of the stairs and heads up toward the bathroom.

"I got ways," Alara said with a bright smile. In truth, she was clueless at how she could manage such a thing in the first place but Roman didn't need to know that for now. Even if she suspected that he could see right through her, after all this time spend together. The empty threats was nothing more than banter but Alara enjoyed it. It had been such a foreign thing in recent time, ever since she started to run for her life, like everyone else. Being here, it was a second chance at everything, one she didn't take for granted. And this thing with Roman, the space they shared, how they had each others' backs, how easy things felt between them, it was precious. All of it was thanks to Roman and the woman was determined to make it as easier on him now as she could. "Nights that you'll feel like a lion in a cage." If there was anything she had observed about the man was how restless he was, how stopping down seemed impossible to him. Alara didn't know if he had been this way before everything, in his previous life or if this was nothing more than his way of surviving. "We might need a few more books and maybe even boardgames. I wonder if John has any. Anything not to go crazy in the dead of winter."

Alara chuckled at the idea of Roman going down after a glass of wine. Three on one bottle of wine used to be pretty standard in her old life but now, she hadn't drank in a while either. Unlike Roman, she had always been a lightweight when it came to alcohol. "Maybe John will feel generous enough to get a second bottle. I know one glass will be enough for me so that should leave plenty for the both of you." Not that she wanted Roman to get drunk and feel it in the morning, but she did wished he would enjoy the down time he could have now. For the second time tonight, there's a faint blush creeping on her cheeks at the idea of sharing such close quarters with him. They had done it before, when traveling around and trying to find somewhere to be safe but this felt different. "I don't need a curtain and it could defeat the purpose of keeping a warm space." They'd still have space to change and such. "Just something clean, that rabbit blood isn't screaming good host," she teased. "I'd love to see that beard trimmed a little. Take your time cleaning up, I got everything under control. In fact, I don't want to see you in the kitchen until dinner time."

[isolatednights]

there's such a determination in his voice that roman nearly rolls over with a simple 'yes ma'am,' but instead, dark brows rise almost in challenge. "you're going to sit me down and make me relax?" he asks, hues flickering over her frame once before he grins cheekily, "tell me how you plan on doing that sweetheart." momentarily, he pictures her trying to bodily shove him down onto the couch ⸻ only to fail when his much larger frame fails to move ( wonders if she'd resort to bribery of more food, or threats of withholding the same for him ). the thought makes him chuckle. "i'm sure we'll have plenty of nights in once the weather cools." if snow fell in abundance in this area, leaving their little sanctuary would only occur for the occasional hunt or to fell more trees for wood. roman imagined there would be plenty of days inside, working on little projects or lazing around if that was the case. "one night off sounds good though," he concedes. "drunk enough to sleep in? once i would have said you'd need more than a bottle of wine but i can't remember the last time i had a drink. i'm probably a damned lightweight now." an amusing thought to say the least, but maybe they could spend a night properly indulging on good food and wine ( just the two of them ) once the weather turned and they had no where else to be the following morning. "i could hang a privacy screen or something for you as well," the first floor was relatively open, and while she could definitely duck into another space, if they closed off the second floor they'd been around one another frequently. "that way you don't have to see my ugly mug all the time."

he isn't sure what to do with her thanks besides offer a slight lopsided grin and a nod ( because it just seemed second nature at this point that they'd stay together ). "any dress code for this fancy dinner you're cooking up for us tonight? i'll even trim up my beard just for you." he teases.

"Oh no," Alara said pointing a finger at Roman. "You're not doing anything else today and I don't plan on tonight ending before sunset. Even if John leaves early, I'll sit you down myself so you can relax for once." Maybe it was selfish of her to want an evening spend doing nothing essential, something they hadn't done in a long time, if ever. The woman knew she needed to move, to do things to feel like she wasn't stuck in place, that she was still moving forward. It kept her mind off things, off everything she had seen and done since the world went to hell. And maybe Roman was the same, maybe he needed that to feel sane, like she did. But if they were to have a safe place, somewhere they could set roots, there was some healing that needed to happen too. "We have a bottle of wine, some good food, we deserved this, this one night off." Even the idea that he would work on it first thing tomorrow morning wasn't what she wanted. "Maybe I'll get you drink enough tonight that you sleep in tomorrow," she teased playfully. Roman snoring in bed past sunrise, that would be something to see. "Asking him tonight would give us plenty of time to prepare. Closing off the second floor could be a good idea for a while, when it's the coldest." He was right, she would make it homey, no matter what they did. It felt almost ridiculous to do such a thing but it mattered more than it ever did to Alara.

Roman was right, John had been alone for a while and it was lucky he was as sane as John could be and them being here was a huge help in keeping things going. It was true that together they had help make this place better, given John more food and supplies he could have on his own. Deep down, she knew all that but it was still hard for her to actually believe it, to see herself as something else than dead weight. Dilara looked at the man almost in disbelief. He sounded so sure of himself, didn't hesitate, didn't have to think about it. "Roman," she started softly, unsure of what to say exactly. There were many things running through her mind, pushing themselves to be said and heard but instead she looked at him and gently shook her head, as if trying to chase them all away. "Thank you. I mean it." She wanted to ask him why he was doing it, why he was ready to give up everyone for her but she was afraid that asking him that would only make himself question his choices, that he would change his mind.

[isolatednights]

"shouldn't take me long." they'd already rearranged the space to their liking before ⸻ getting rid of or adding furniture as they liked. now that he thought about it, it might be better to go placed the furniture in another house entirely. perhaps he could build of the basement a bit ⸻ shelves and the like, so that they could store whatever extra supplies that might not fit in the kitchen pantry. "i could probably manage it once john leaves if its still light enough out. if not, first thing tomorrow before i start everything else. even if you've gotta figure out what can be moved in, seeing the space'll help figure out what we might need to grab when we do our run to the store." granted, roman might take a separate trip out there without her and grab whatever was left over. the seeds, gardening supplies, soil, you name it. even if it couldn't be utilized this year, it might come in handy in the spring or for the greenhouse they did manage to build. lips quirking when she avoids his gaze, he shakes his head, "hasn't mentioned it. maybe we can bring it up at dinner?" the question would serve as a dual purpose. if john answered without hesitation, it would signal he had no intention of asking them to leave. "could always shut up the second floor and bring some mattresses down here. might require clearing a bit more furniture, but i'm sure you'd make it homey." sheets, and blankets. he'd make that a priority on his next trip out after chatting with john ⸻ or perhaps they could go poking around the other, currently untouched homes in the little community and see what they could find.

"yes." he counters immediately, "i fought hard for something like this for the two of us." leaning against the door frame, roman shoots her a look, "john's been alone for a while now. he's lucky the isolation hasn't driven him insane." granted, the man might be a touch paranoid, but wasn't everyone these days? "the company? the ability to divy up tasks? it makes things easier. he'd be certifiably insane if he turned either of us away and if he tried to send you away, i'd fight tooth and nail for that not to be the case, and if he was convinced we couldn't stay then..." he offers a shrug, "then we move on. if he's managed this here, by himself, we could somewhere else. might just take us some time."

It was true they were benefiting from all of John's hard work and it made Alara wonder how many other places like this one there was out there. Places like these ones could help way more than only three people and that was part of the guilt the woman carried around. That she got to feel safe like this, have almost everything she could need and want while others were barely getting by. Alara knew too well how that was, and even then, she had been lucky to have someone like Roman by her side to keep her alive and moving. There were times when Alara felt like he deserved to be here but not her. She knew how they called that feeling, survivor's guilt, but Alara didn't know how to deal with it. The world hadn't been fair before and it was even worse now.

"You don't have to start tomorrow, I can start by seeing what we have that could be moved inside and then where we could put it." She was sure Roman had better things to do than step right into her silly little project but she was grateful to see how quick he was to jump in and help her. That was the thing with Roman, how he had been by her side since almost day one. "I think we shouldn't overcrowd, not for the first winter, not before we know what winter is really like." Alara wasn't certain how to entirely go about this project but she was determined to find out. Roman's comment about bunking out made her blush and she looked away to try and hide it. Chewing on the inside of her cheek, she did her best not to let the thought of sharing a bed with Roman go too far into her mind. "For all I know you'll be begging to share a bed when it gets cold," she teased back. "Has John ever said how cold it can get here? We might need to move beds near one fire." Having to keep more than one fire alive through the night sounded like too much work and a waste of wood. John's house was better equipped then theirs, the other man not really trying to host many people on his little paradise.

As she listened to Roman, all Alara wanted to ask was why. Why was he so ready to fight for her, to risk everything just for her. "No," she said firmly, more than she thought it would sound. "Roman, if John doesn't think I belong here, you have to stay. You fought too hard for something like this." It was all good to say that but could she really make it out on her own? "I'll just continue to try and make myself as useful as possible and show him how appreciative I am with tonight's dinner."

[isolatednights]

roman's never dared to ask the man what he'd thought before all that had transpired ⸻ but he can't help but think john must have truly believed himself justified. there was no other way to explain how well prepared he was. between the walls that had been built, the stock of supplies he'd had ready by the time the duo had arrived? roman wonders if there is anyone else out there ⸻ any other preppers such as john ⸻ who managed to survive and apparently thrive as john has. "who knows," he murmurs, "either way, we're benefiting from it now so i don't think its worth asking after." people were touchy about the before anyways.

the man finds himself grateful she's agreeable to the plan ( because if she hadn't been, roman is fairly certain he would have worked himself to the point of unnecessary exhaustion trying to build up a proper greenhouse for her before winter while also balancing the other responsibilities he'd taken on since their arrival ). "i can start moving the furniture around in there tomorrow. maybe put it away in basement, or rearrange the dining room, we'll see. that way you can really see how much room you have and come up with an idea of what we need before we head out." at the comment about his bedroom, the man can't help but chuckle softly, knowing that while she's probably right about the sunlight in his room ( part of the reason he's capable of rising so early ), it's mostly a gentle tease. "you plannin' on taking over my room, where am i meant to sleep? unless we're suddenly bunking together, my beds got to remain untouched... or the couch."

roman never did well with being idle these days, but something about the offer softened him slightly. "alright." perhaps he'd get cleaned up and just check over a few others things around the house ⸻ little tasks he'd been putting off. "you know, if he ever asked you to leave i'd go with you, right?" after he attempted to argue their cases of course. there was no way roman would readily let them be kicked out without good reason.

It was stronger than her, the laughter that escaped her as Roman said he would have once called John paranoid. "That makes two of us. I wonder if he really believed himself back then." It felt so foreign to Alara back then, the idea that the world would one day go up in flames like it had. It had all sounded absurd and she couldn't take any of it seriously. Maybe if she had, things would have gone differently. There had been moments when Alara wondered if the government knew this could be possible, why they'd never done anything to prevent it, or at least, prepare everyone for it. It had been pointless to ask herself such a thing, it only made her angry and despair.

i wouldn't let anything happen to you. Alara didn't know if Roman was aware of how much these words meant to her, how they made her feel. When they had been moving from places to places, trying to survive together, there had been little time to stop and wonder how she viewed him, outside of him being responsible for her survival. Alara had been grateful to him from day one and that would never change. But now that they had time to settle down and breath, she had started to notice him in a different way, one that made her conflicted. Alara was attracted to Roman, a feeling she tried to push away as much as possible. "That's a great idea!" She knew her project was ambitious and to be looked at long-term. And more, it was planing a sort of future, one where Roman was in. This was their house and from all the ones Roman could have chosen, he had decided to stay with her. "I always wanted to grow things, I just never had the space before." It was a simple explanation for how committed to it Alara had been. "You sure you won't mind when I start taking over the house with the plants? You know, there's great light in your room," her tone was teasing now but there was so potential truth to it too.

"Clean up and rest, you earned it. I plan on keeping you up late with this dinner, might even have something sweet for dessert." Before coming here, they didn't get many breaks and now it seemed that life was only getting better, something that scared Alara because it meant she had something huge to loose. "Thank you for saying that." She knew he meant it, would not have said it only to please her. "I'm just afraid he'll ask me to leave any moment. I know he wouldn't ask that of you, but me, I'm not so sure."

[isolatednights]

"i'll make sure i keep an eye out for more bottles in the future." john likely had already picked through the houses within the walls he'd created, so perhaps roman wouldn't offer up any of the other bottles he'd managed to snag that day. he and alara had done plenty to help out since their arrival ⸻ it wouldn't hurt either of them to be a little selfish in this instance. at the mention of their host seeming to know all when it came to survival, the man can't help but snort. "you know, before all this i could have called him paranoid for being a prepper." now, roman was grateful. john was the only reason any of them had a real chance at normalcy.

he chews over the idea for a moment ⸻ knowing it while a great thought for the long term, it wasn't feasible before winter crept up on them. not without putting everything else to the side and that just... didn't seem realistic. even if roman alone focused on its construction, the materials would be difficult to source. her agreement to come solidifies the idea thats forming in his mind, and when she expresses her trust, he reached out to give her arm a gentle squeeze. "i wouldn't let anything happen to you." it's a big promise these days ⸻ one he really shouldn't be making ( but the man knows he'd sooner die than let any harm to befall her, they'd been through too much together at this point ). "maybe the garden store has some materials we can think about using to build a proper greenhouse. if not, we could consider an addition onto the house next spring. build it out like a sunroom ⸻ lots of natural light, but access to the heat of the house once fall and winter hits. for now, we could empty out the front room. grab some pots and soil, maybe those big metal tubs if they have them. keep things growing in there once the weather gets cold."

chuckling, he glanced down at himself. before, this would have been considered relatively clean ( but the luxury of being behind the safety of walls and having the ability to bath regularly again had changed that rather quickly ). "i can go clean up and then give you a hand. prepped the rabbits before i came in so you should be all set to start if you want." dropping his hand from her arm, roman begins in the direction of the stairs before pausing to glance over his shoulder at her. "you've turned the pitiful garden he had going into something that actually produces. he's benefiting from having us around just as much as we benefit from being here. so be grateful, but realize you're an asset to, yeah?"

Roman smiling was a beautiful thing, something Alara hadn't seen often until they settled up here. They had been so focused on surviving, to its most simple definition, the most basic needs they had, that everything else hadn't even crossed her mind. Alara hadn't truly realized that they barely smile or laugh because that would require everything else to be taken care of. Even the exhaustion on them, she hadn't really noticed until they started to be able to truly sleep. And then the nightmares had started, her screams sometimes waking them both. The woman was better at dealing with them now and there was some hint of the woman she had been before all of that. That was the woman standing in this cozy kitchen with Roman. "Have to say, I like that loosened version of essential." Was this a glimpse of who Roman had been before all of this? "He knows almost everything about surviving, I'm sure he has some idea. If not, maybe a book?" Back in the days, Alara was certain there existed videos that were easily accessible, but strangely, looking them up had never been something she thought to do. John seemed to have been prepping for this all his life. There was a time in her life when she was against the use of fur but now she didn't have the luxury of all of her old convictions.

"I thought of that too and it might be the hardest part. The windows would let a lot of light and possibly some heat in so we'd need more tolerant crops for these months, unless we keep a fire going most of the time. And that's a resource we might need for ourselves." The idea was only a start and there would be much more to think and do, but it was a good start, or so she felt. "Yes," she said softly. It wasn't something she realized she wanted until she said it. Alara had no desire to find herself in some situations they had been in before but she couldn't hide from her fears all her life either, not when the world had gone the way it had. "I don't want to be afraid all my life. I'm not talking about going somewhere you haven't explored before." Just talking about it, her heart beat faster and she wanted to take her words back. But she didn't want to be a burden to John and Roman and she needed to do this for herself eventually. "I trust you Roman, I feel safe with you." She wasn't sure she had truly tell him that before, even if her actions had shown it. "A garden store actually sounds close to Disneyland right now," Alara said with a laugh, not wanting to make the mood too heavy with her previous statement.

"Are you helping with dinner or cleaning up. You might need more than just wash your hands," she said as she teasingly wrinkled her nose. Part of Alara wanted to make this a nice night, to have both men relax and enjoy the evening as much as possible. She already had a good idea of what she would make and she was mentally going through everything they had to see if she could go as far as making something sweet for dessert. They had wine and for one night, they could maybe all play pretend and imagine that this was a normal and regular night, that nothing wrong was going on outside of these walls. Yes, they had some maple sirup that she could use and flower she could cut to put on the table. "I want to make something nice for John. He's allowed us to stay here for a while now and I want him to know it means a lot to me."

[isolatednights]

before, things had often been strained ⸻ tense as the duo had moved around, simply trying to stay alive. laughter had been sparse, and hearing it now causes him to grin. "what can i say? we've been living the good life here these last few weeks. my definition of essential may have loosened a little bit." it was just another reason for him to convince john that it was worth keeping them around. between his own little trips out hunting or searching for supplies and alara's already thriving gardens? "brought back a couple rabbits. they're outside waiting to be cooked. sounds like a proper feast to me. can't say i ever tanned fur before, but i'll ask john about it when he stops by later." the man seemed to be some odd-ball jack of all trades from what roman had come to learn. if somehow this was outside of his particular set of skills, perhaps roman can go poking around at the library a few towns over. there has to be some sort of book about it somewhere, right?

the mention of converting a house and the fact that she already has sketches drawn up causes his brows to rise. it's certainly an ambitious plan, but reasonable all the same. "we'd have to keep it heated." there were a few houses in their little town that had solar panels, he just had no idea if they actually worked. adding it to his mental list of things he'd need to talk to john about, roman nodded. if not solar, wood then. "you want to come out again?" he'd tried to go out alone, or with john, when possible, but he'd yet to drag alara back out since they'd arrived. something about knowing she was safe tucked away settled him ( and he'd not thought to disturb whatever peace she might be finding by requesting she accompany her ). dark hues flicker to look at her with a hint of skepticism before the emotion vanishes. "there's a garden store in town. haven't poked around there, but if we take the truck we can load it up with whatever you might need. windows might be more difficult, but we could always pull them from one of the houses around here as well."

There was a time when Alara was constantly worried that Roman would leave her behind. After all, she was a stranger and a liability. The few selfdefense classes she had taken ages ago only took her so far. But then Roman happened and she clung to him like a lifejacket, all while trying not to make him want to split. The man was security, familiarity, all things she thought were gone forever. Somehow, Roman seemed to think they made a good team or he wouldn't shown her everything he did. Even being here was because of him. Finding that note had made her nervous, it wasn't in his habits to leave her with so little information. Maybe that was the moment he ripped the band-aid, the one he couldn't shoulder the burden she had become. Alara didn't know if this sort of settling down, the more quiet routine they had developed, the rhythm they had felt into now that survival had taken a different pace, was what Roman wanted or if he missed the action. The gardens were her way to try and soothe her nerves, the place where her mind could go almost blank. It had taken her time to feel confident enough to wander on her own but she had done it and Alara and the garden had blossomed together. Seeing Roman's transportation out had been a relief.

"Wine," she repeated, eyes sparkling at the notion of it. That was truly a luxury, the woman not remembering when she had something like that for the last time. "Your definition of essential has really expended recently," she said with a laugh. If wine was now in the more essential category, life truly was great. "I got some carrots, beans and potatoes from the garden. I could almost make us a feast with that." The woman was excited now, all worries of the day left behind. She had want to suggest to Roman that they invited John over so this worked out perfectly. "Tanning the furs will also help us in winter." She could see herself reading a book by the fire, a blanket on her laps. It felt within her grasp and it was dizzying.

The us from Roman grounded her. There was a them of sort and that was all she needed. "While we're talking about winter, we should talk to John about turning one of the other empty houses into some sort of greenhouse so we can maintain some sort of crop stability. I've seen one house that has the right sun exposure for this. I've sort of made a sketch already." Keeping her mind busy with what she could helped Alara to cope with everything she went through since the outbreak. There was just so much to process that she could easily sink if she didn't do that. "If it's possible, for your next haul, windows and any type of grains you can see, dried or not. Even with just one corn I can try and get a culture for more going. Really, just take samples of what seems to be grains and I'll try and identify them. Or you can take me with you to save you time, if you don't mind."

[isolatednights]

good. good she'd found the note and good she'd seemingly kept herself busy ( and hopefully unworried ) in his absence. in the more recent past, when roman had plans to exit the safety of the little town in which they now resided, he would always let her know ahead of time ( provide a detailed plan on when he would leave and return ). leaving as he had without word had been an oddity ( and left him with an almost crippling sort of guilt for not saying anything sooner ).

accepting the tea towel, the man rotates to lean back against the counter. "found some food, water and a few bottles of wine. invited our hosts over for dinner ⸻ figured we could crack a bottle of red." he murmurs. "some other, less essential, stuff too. books, sheets, some winter clothes." which was still months away, but if the little duo would be staying there in the long run, they'd be needed. "thought i might go back in a few days. do another pick over. so if you have any requests, i can look."

"yeah?" he prompts, intrigued by the idea. there are so many supplies he's started to realize will fade out of their lives the more time passes, but having grain? flour? would be nice. "just tell me what i can do to help out. whether it be helping prep land or trying to hunt down the seeds.."

It was almost like old times, like before it all. A place to sleep, the same every nights, no worry of where food would come after the last of their rations were gone. There was a bed, a kitchen table, a place for everything. Alara didn't have to carry all of her belongings on her back for weeks now. At first, she hadn't dare empty it, hadn't dare to let herself fully see the house they had been granted for one night. It had been a luxury back then, and it was still now, to sleep without fear. It had taken her weeks to get used to, to not sleep with one eye open, waiting for the sounds that would tell them they were no longer safe. Has hard has it had been to adjust to the life after the outbreak, it had been even harder to let herself believe this could be real. There were many nights when she awoke, sweating, lost in the darkness of the room, half a scream forming in her throat. The nightmares hadn't really came before now, her body in survival mode most of the time. But now that there had been a sense of security, everything was coming to the surface. Everyone she had lost, every horrors she had seen, every actions she had to take to survive, it plagued her nights. Her life had been somewhat sheltered before and it was a wonder she was still alive. She owed most of it to Roman, just like she owed him the little sheltered town they had stumbled upon.

"Yes," she said as she came into the room, having just brushed off the dirt on her hands and knees before coming in. She had taken to gardening since coming here, trying to assure a supply of crops. Fresh food, almost every day, thanks to take and Roman's hunting. Even the idea of unloading supply still sounded foreign at times, the thought that there was a place to store things, enough space to be frivolous in what they kept. Putting her vegetables basket down, she looked over to the sink. "What did you found?" Taking a tea towel, she walked to Roman, handing it to him for when he was done. "I'd like to expand the crops a bit more, try more grains. There's a book I saw about making flour from different sources and such." The guilt and gratefulness of the place they had were too often mixed to tell apart. Why did she deserved such a place and not others? It was a weight she kept for herself, the illusion of their situation feeling too fragile, as if spoking the words could shatter it all. Alara didn't ask if John had talked about an expiration date on their little stay here. She had no doubts that he saw Roman as an asset but she often feared she wasn't doing enough, despite putting all her energy into the little town, doing her best to make things easier for the others.