#but i will be so upset regardless

[hinamie]

in spite of everything, I had fun <3

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Hello Madam. Sorry Madam.

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[tubbytarchia]

@mcyt-yuri-week day 4 Grief!! Need Pearl to be held always and forever!! That's all

[dykedvonte]

You ever just see a Mouthwashing take that makes you want to bang your head into a wall? I literally just saw someone claim Curly couldn't have been emotionally abused by Jimmy before the crash because he was in a higher position of power than Jimmy.

-Shrimp Anon

The mouthwashing fandom has shown me that people genuinely do believe that certain types of abuse are not as detrimental as other types especially when they deem those immune/resistant, ergo, believing one is objectively worse no matter how it affects the person nor the intersections of power, history and dynamics at play.

Get ready cause this is a yap session:

Cause like it's heavily implied that Curly and Jimmy's friendship was toxic and abusive, pointedly in the direction of how Jimmy uses Curly's belief/comfort in him. Curly wasn't forced to enable Jimmy but he was emotional and mentally on edge around him in almost every scene in some way. Mental and emotional abuse are not contingent on what positions you have at work. Yeah, he's Jimmy's boss but he was Jimmy's friend first and it's like getting into Psych discussion to talk about how social power tends to overshadow any perceived organizational power in the human mind. People are concerned about their jobs ofc but they tend to hang onto and put more value/investment into their personal relationships, hence why there tends to be laws and restrictions around mixing the two.

I always see the sentiments that "Curly is a grown ass man", "Curly is bigger than Jimmy", "Curly is Jimmy's boss", "He just needed a backbone" as criticisms of Curly and while I do agree that on the surface level all of these to be true and viable ways Curly could've taken more control of the situation, I often look at the parallels of Anya and Curly as victims of Jimmy pre/post crash.

The way Jimmy talks to Anya post crash is how he talked to Curly in the pre-crash segments. It's hard to pin-point mainly because we know he hates and wants nothing to do with Anya compared to his contrary but similarly handled obsessions with Curly. It's a weird sort of "honey-moon" effect of abuse Jimmy does in terms of emotional and mental victimization. He is always horrid to Anya, always talking down or questioning her abilities and thoughts in a situation, this of course includes the harassment and assault. However, he has a moment of attempted gentleness/conditioning when he question her about the mouthwash when she's contemplating drinking it at the table. The key difference is he has no personal investment in Jimmy outside wanting nothing to do with him, meaning there is no sort of romanticized version of him that he can condition her off of. He knows this, hence, why he always reverts to trying to make her to scared to oppose him.

This sort of give and take of "kindness" doesn't work on her because she knows he is just doing it to take more from her than whatever he could possibly give but it reflects even the "softer" scenes between him and Curly where he always rewords or rephrases Curly's sentiments and concerns to sound more shallow. He is feigning a deeper understanding by reworking Curly's emotions into something bad and needing to be hidden. Everything is laced with envy and resentment, an outburst just around the corner, I mean he even slams the table in the birthday party scene, a tactic in emotional manipulation to set the victim on edge and cloud their ability to respond. Even if Curly knows Jimmy won't get physical in that moment, the physical actions is intended to make him back down in the confrontation in case it does. This is something that is just not person specific. It ingrains itself into how you interact with the world and life and it shows in major and minor ways with Curly.

Post-crash, the abusive nature is more in tandem to the physical victimization Anya went through and the stripping of voice and autonomy we see take place. Like the parasite in HFIM, Jimmy speaks for Curly most of the time and puts words in his mouth, similarly to how he takes Anya's plans as his own. He very commonly, with the both of them mind you, supplements the worst aspects of himself into them; pettiness, selfishness, lack of understanding... And tries to cover himself with their best qualities; kindness, planning, initiative, etc...

These parallel are just to say that positional power has little to do with if a person can be abused and how it can even be flipped to further the abuse. There is no doubt that Curly could've picked up on Jimmy's envy of his position hence another reason he never confronted him as a Captain but as a friend as doing so would immediately put Jimmy in a space to be confrontational/combative.

I think the disdain some people have when they talk about the heavily implied if not implicitly stated emotional/mental abuse Curly experienced being Jimmy's friend is when treating it as an excuse to why he didn't do more. I can understand that completely because it is not an excuse to why he didn't do more but is a very real reason people in his position in these scenarios can experience whether in the context of a work or social environment. However, I also think the way people talk about it really does demonstrate a bigger problem when talking about abuse when somehow who is/was abused is either part of the issue or enabled it.

Harkening back to the sentiments about Curly's inaction regarding Jimmy, I think the exact phrases I used/have seen show how there is an inherent belief that it is easier to overpower the effects of emotional/mental abuse that go in tandem with the perception of Curly as someone who should be able to. There is not an age you suddenly stop being susceptible to abuse nor a set point or low where you realize how it has affected you. You don't suddenly know to stand up or put a face on to face your abuser nor admit that you inadvertently enabled them to subjugate someone else to the same treatment. Maybe it's my psych brain but their is this growing belief that direct action is somehow easy or always the best method with the game shows you instances where it is not always the case. In real life that rings true too. He should have done more, but it's not impossible to see why he struggled to find a way or didn't even if it makes us mad.

It's not easy to suddenly gain a "back-bone". You don't immediately want to resort to aggression, especially if it mirrors the type you were a victim to. You don't want to believe you allowed yourself to be treated this bad, let it get that bad or allowed something bad to happen to someone else. It is easy to be in denial, to retreat to your thoughts or make excuses to avoid the painful truth. It's frustrating but in a way we know is relatable. It why we both hate and love Curly for it. We know we'd be better, we think we'd be better, we like to think we wouldn't falter in the same ways but it's always easier to say that from the outside looking in. It's easy to see what he was doing wrong because we are seeing it, not him, but the game really does make you picture what you would do if this was your raw reality and it's why this debate about Curly seems so never ending/contradictory. We can all say what we'd do but bottom line is that's much different when you're in the moment with all the emotions and human feelings attached.

I personally think Mouthwashing tackles the themes of rape culture, enabling, toxic masculinity, types of abuse and patriarchy in ways that are meant to deconstruct the typical straightforward views we mostly have of these concepts and how little subtilities of them are just as, if not more, detrimental than the overt/obvious parts. The game deals with the idea of little details and bigger picture in a way to show that sometimes the bigger picture is not the issue but the little details that make it up. It's why I have a personal dislike of depictions of Jimmy as the typical horrible person who would of course do something like this because the game is about noticing the little warning signs, the foreshadowing and foresight.

It's why I dislike the typical discussion of "bro code" and "boys will be boys" for the game because the game makes a point to avoid the standard depictions of such. It is about the type of men who still enable despite not condoning, agreeing or even perpetuating harmful beliefs because they can't see the little details or the ways it seeps into their everyday. The severity is not obvious to them as it was not obvious to Curly, Swansea or even Daisuke the way it was to a woman like Anya. There are little details about Jimmy that should ring alarms but if you are too naive like Daisuke, too distant like Swansea or too conditioned like Curly, they are just off markers.

There is 100% more constructive/concise ways to say "Curly was a victim of Jimmy's abuse on an emotional and mental aspect that clouded his judgements and perceptions in the scenario" while also critiquing on the side of "Curly still had a responsibility to protect Anya as a crew mate and Captain that he failed to do due to biases and stigma's he failed to surpass" without the weird condemnation people give him about should've knowing better than to let himself be manipulated by a person he considered a close, if not family/best-friend and had his own reasons to trust initially. Also stop being weird about victims of abuse in general with this fandom, like sorry not everyone has a like social epiphany the moment someone's nasty to them. People are treating it like you immediately know when you are in a toxic relationship immediately or comprehend when a person is actively dangerous and either it's your fault for not knowing how to leave/cut them off or you deserve it. Like the hypocrisy of people believing how certain fans treat the story reflect their irl views but not their own is crazy.

End statement is: I honestly don't even know man, I've been writing this too long and just like no man on that ship was perfect or really helped Anya when it mattered and I feel like pitting them against each other in discussion on who did the least or most or how it was justified sucks cause in the end Anya always did the most and best thing for herself.

[turtleblogatlast]

Something I like about Leo is that he’s honestly really chill? It’s easy to remember the moments where he’s being obnoxious or excitable but I feel like most of the time he’s incredibly “go with the flow” and has an overall affable demeanor.

[fortheloveofexy]

am I the only person waiting until I actually have my hard copies in hand before reading the short stories? I've been avoiding social media all day because I'm scared of getting spoiled...

[naamahdarling]

.

[blood-starved-beast]

Do you guys think about how Artemis is clearly meant to be seen as Melinoe's older sister figure? Like besides calling her sister, Artemis is very openly close to Mel (talking about things such as her relationships, their little jokes and jabs at the family and relationships - like Eris, Mel asking and Artemis elaborating about artenem drama). There's even the detail that if the encounter goes too long or Mel's low in health Artemis would toss her some gyros (i have gotten two in one encounter). If Mel returns to shadow during the encounter Artemis feels personally responsible for failing her. Guh. What a great dynamic we ought to talk of it more.

[pyrosomatic-metamorphosis]

tbh i think that even unwinnable fights should be winnable. some of the BEST fights i've ever run as a dm were ones i built kill the players (in a fun way. I had some cutscenes prepped so even the loss would be a different flavour of win)- but then they were clever bastards and managed to either win the fights or pull themselves out of trouble. I think it's perfectly fine to plan for a fight that players aren't supposed to win, but you need to let them. if they can't win, they can't lose, and the meaning of that encounter is diminished. do that too many times, and they stop trusting you to give them roleplay prompts and start expecting to sit there waiting while you drive the story for them.

but if they can win... if there is always the chance to win, no matter how impossible the odds, then they ALWAYS have hope. they always get invested. they feel the big emotions of success or the big emotions of failure, and you fucking Win as a dm/roleplay prompter/lead bastard.

[syl-stormblessed]

inside of you there are 2 wolves. one of them is listening to Regret Me on repeat. the other is crying in the corner because you’ll never get to hear “And Baby, when you think of me // I hope it ruins rock ‘n’ roll”

[citricacidprince]

Sometimes I see the way certain people in a fandom treat a ‘tough love but well meaning and trying his best in the only way he knows how’ Dad and I can only think “You have a horrid relationship with your father, don’t you? 🫵👁️👁️”

[t4t4t]

Hi I got 84 in the last two weeks, starting to run out of food money. Absolutely no gas money to get anywhere but yknow. Maybe the temp agency I'm talking to will give me some tolerable job tomorrow and I can ask a bus driver to let me on for free. ("Not my fault if you get a ticket." has been a common response.)

venmo: @nora-esther-rose

paypal.me/NoraEstherRose

[laminesyamal]

thinking about black french people and the combination of racism and xenophobia they’re seeing on their TLs today.

thinking about how black argentinians must be feeling rn, witnessing as the world pays attention to a 1-min video’s reflection of how they’ve been treated at the hands of a white-dominant society and government for generations now.

thinking about the increase in violence we’re probably going to see against trans women (AGAIN) bc they’re being berated publicly by the champions of south america and their fans (AGAIN) and a lot of impressionable people unfortunately find that funny and acceptable.

thinking thinking thinking thinking

like damn, black people and trans people (and esp black trans people) really aren’t safe ANYWHERE huh???

[the-valiant-valkyrie]

okay for anyone who's getting into rift of the necrodancer who may not really know anything about the original lore of the game, in crypt's DLC, Amplified, there's a character in it named nocturna

as far as characters go she's pretty sweet, a cutlass wielding vampire who can turn into a bat for extra evasive maneuvers?? literally what's not to love abt her? and better yet, as a human, she was brown

admittedly from looking at images of her as a vampire its kind of hard to tell. and i'll be honest, her transition from human to vampire could have been much better in my personal opinion. especially in reference to the hair texture. but like okay. the majority of the details are the same. in closer up images she still has freckles, her nose and head shape is similar, her eyes are the same color. she's blue, obviously, but there can still be a case made that she's brown, if you know what i'm saying here?

BUT WITH THAT IN MIND SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN TO ME WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED WITH HER REDESIGN FOR RIFT??

THIS IS NOT FUCKING NOCTURNA?? like. inarguably the design SLAPS i'm not even arguing that she doesn't look good she's just like. WHITE now. i mean she's BLUE but she's WHITE.

they changed her head shape, they changed her NOSE shape (which really fucking gets me), they gave her BLUE eyes instead of green, and even desaturated her skin tone?? and while a case could be made for the old nocturna's hair still being somewhat similar to her human variant, that argument can not be made for this one. that hair has never been coiled in its fucking life. who the hell is this. that is NOT nocturna.

it's so sad because i'm 90% sure that lots of people forget that nocturna wasn't white as a human to begin with, and i feel like with all the characters getting massive, modern day design overhauls this would literally be a perfect low stakes opportunity to actually fix the design to... better portray a brown human who turned into a (still brown) vampire

but instead, they made it worse to a degree that i couldn't even COMPREHEND until i saw it for the first time??

[pigeonxp]

“can’t handle people multishipping like mature adults”

It’s clear our issue isn’t with multishippers. It’s with people who after barely any screentime and people bent over backwards to put this guest character on a pedestal and scream about how he should be endgame to the point of attacking the main actors of the show, touting headcanons made up by a guest star as canon fact, and generally harassing anyone who doesn’t like their ship. We’re the ones that apparently can’t handle multishippers but time and time again BT shippers have proven they cannot handle people simply not liking their ship - a very normal thing that happens in fandom. There’s a reason for terms like OTP and NOTP. Just because you multiship doesn’t mean one of those ships can’t be my NOTP.

speak on it anon !

on a more serious note tho, i have no problem with multishippers but u cant expect EVERYBODY to be a multishipper yk? like its not a crime to dislike a ship or a character.

[spookberry]

My least favorite plotline that shows up in like every single piece of media at least once is the "surprise birthday party". Literally cant stand it. I hate surprise parties so fuckin much. Even worse when the surprise is for a "i dont like surprises/parties" character OR they go with the "everyone pretends to have forgotten their birthday" plotline like i HATE it so so so much makes me feel like a rabid dog i wanna rip it apart with my teeth