#but i will admit i felt that convo with him and his dad

[randomspagetti]

{The End/A Compilation on This Project}

Summary:

I don't really like the climax I came up with at the time so I'll be adding a new version here. So if It differs from the images that's why, I feel like I made the pages during a time where I just wanted to get the comic over with so it kinda feels generic and half baked.

-

Starting from our last point, with the words of encouragement from the Light of Resolution and the steel force will to get his dad back, Choco manages to land a powerful strike, surprising the ancients and phasing Berserk Cacao.

This leaves space for the ancients to also be able to help, Pure Vanilla gives both Choco and Holly buffs while Holly holds the line and protects them from incoming attacks. By doing so they're able to get closer. Finally, a combined attack is hit to where something finally seems to happen. It's powerful and cuts into the indoor wall of the citadel. The smoke dissipates and all that is left is just Cacao.

They're all pretty suprised, but Cacao still has some lingering curse corruption on his body and his breathing is shallow. Hearing the loud crashes from the room the watchers (and Caramel) run in to see the ... interesting situation that had unfolded.

We then cut to Cacao sitting in a hospital room, he had woken up a bit earlier and is trying somewhat to recall the events of the previous day.

Holly and PV soon walk in with mugs, not expecting him to be up. They're caught off guard but soon calm down and get to chatting. Cacao finally admits he's not really doing all so well with both his kingdom and his son over the course of the conversation.

He also sort of opens up about more sensitive issues he's been through, thought he doesn't hold that topic for long given it's just too much for him at the moment. Holly understands where he's coming from and offers some words of encouragement, while PV tells him they're going to look into something for the curse and to actually help Cacao mentally.

Cacao reluctantly agrees.

It ends a bit more open ended with your own interpretation of how Cacao deals with his issues being set, though there would be a few aftermath pages exploring the relationship with the characters shown after the events of the story, this one for example is Cacao and Choco doing pottery painting.

------------------------------------------------------------

Some interesting facts, and stuff I made that didn't make it into the final cut:

-In my discord server berserk Cacao was often referred to as "The enemy spider"

-I often used their hands (so many hand drawings) as a way to show more of their character, Holly has hand scars while PV has a redness around his nails from stress. I like to add a human aspect to each of them so the reader can relate

-Berserk Cacao has had so many iterations before the final one, I just couldn't decide what I wanted him to look like!

-Each character has a different way of showing their thoughts/flashbacks! Caramels are more center focused given her only thought in that flashback was of the loud crash, Choco's are blurry given his eyesight, and Cacao has flashbacks and thinks in grayscale! You can actually notice this more during the dinner scene, this has it's own reasoning but it's bit more darker

-Most of the sketches were 10x more funnier than the finished project but I had to make it realistic

-Affogato was originally going to make it into the comic as a background character, but I felt it was too OOC for him given his devious crimes

Onto the darker stuff-

TW: Implied Abuse, Blood

-Everyone knows about the cut panels but there was actually an entire page scrapped too, originally this would follow along with the Light of Resolution convo (I will now refer to it as the LOR) but I scrapped it for a few reasons.

-Firstly I felt like it didn't add anything and only just re-established something the reader already well knew from both Holly and Cacaos statements, secondly I just felt like it was OOC for how I wrote the LOR. The LOR is in part Cacao. He is Cacao's resolution made physical. This would be his story to tell because he is a part of Cacao. It is Cacao in a way. I also felt revealing his face felt kinda eh and just didn't fit. So for those reasons I chopped it

-Cacao's curse wound was actually bleeding in this scene, though it's a bit hard to see with the shaders

That's all! Thank you everyone for being on this journey with me, I appreciate each and every one of you, you truly helped me expand my art horizons

[halliescomut]

Love Sea Ep 8 Post-Watch Thoughts

I was gonna post thoughts as I went, but forgot, so here's hoping I can remember everything that happened in the episode.

- General comment: I love the more playful air of the intimate scenes this episode. There's no "graphic" NC scenes this ep, and instead Mame basically opts for fade-to-black for the couple we see initiated, but there's a significant increase in the playfulness between Rak and Mut, which is a very subtle but lovely bit of storytelling in my opinion. It demonstrates that what's happening is about more than the contract or the sex, but that they're becoming comfortable with each other.

- The father legit still confuses the fuck out of me. Like....does he actually want something. Does he just want to punish Rak by making him live a life alone because Rak chose his mother? Because that's what it seems like, and yeah shitty people are often just shitty, no deeper meaning, but seriously how can this man think Rak would have done anything else after he was such a garbage husband and father? I feel like if he tried at all to look at the series of events from Rak's perspective at all he'd be like "You know what, that's fair. I probably would have made the same choice."

-I've said this several times, but I like seeing Mut do little things to take care of Rak. I think it's good for Rak, because it shows him what the potential future could be. I also really liked the bit of internal dialogue we got at the opening of the episode about how mundane daily tasks, done in repetition are a way of showing care to those we cherish. I think that's just a really lovely sentiment.

-While I'm still mad at P'Vi, because all of her anxiety over Mook not realizing she's being flirted with could have been avoided if she was just honest. She's pushing Rak so hard to admit his feelings to himself, and even teasing him, but she can't confess to her crush either, so does she really have a leg to stand on? I realize that a lot of these choices are kinda done for the drama, but I feel like there were other options that might land better and wouldn't rely on P'Vi playing a bunch of games. Really, her just repeatedly confessing to Mook and Mook just passing it off as her being silly or not serious would have been a good option.

-Issues with P'Vi's deplorable choices in regards to wooing Mook aside, I did really like her convo with Rak this episode. I really like their friendship and how honest they are with each other. It's an important part of friendship. And while they're very honest and even blunt, it never feels like they're being cruel. Both actors did really well conveying the level of familiarity they would have, and how well they know each other's boundaries. They push and tease, but don't cross the line.

-I feel bad for Meena. Poor lamb. As precocious as she is, she is still just a little kid and shouldn't have ever been pulled into the adult concerns happening. The fact that Rak's father is so willing to use her shows exactly what kind of man he is, truly.

-Mut and his handling of Meena and Rak's dad showed a level of seriousness and maturity that's not unexpected, but is a good counterweight to his more fun-loving casual demeanor most of the time. We love a man that can do both. (Also, idk if you noticed, but the jeans this episode were showcasing the tushy excellently.)

-I've got mixed feelings on the whole jealousy scene and the foreplay-esque fight. It feels just so vaguely ooc to me, but this is original IP, so it's basically canon, so it can't be ooc. It honestly just checks off my bingo box for "poorly considered D/s dynamics portrayed". Watching it it felt like they were a couple doing a scene, but we as the audience weren't present for the pre-game discussion, you know? Maybe part of why it felt so odd is that it seems like Mame is trying to portray consent in a healthier way while at the same time feeding into that 'No" Kink she has and so the scene feels incongruous...idk.

-Truly the only real issue I have with this episode is the continuity of Rak's iPhone. When his father surprises him we watch the phone drop and the screen shatter in slow motion, clearly to a level that would make it unusable, but then after their talk he walks away actively calling Mut on the phone and it's clearly functional. Like this is not a deal breaker for me, but it is such an obvious break in continuity that I'm kind of surprised.

Okay, that's all I can think of. Two episodes left. I'm excited and also a bit sad to see the story end. Sidenote, do any of y'all feel like this show has rewatch potential? I've rewatched LITA & DSN a bunch, and LBC and TT once, and WP none at all, since their original release, but I'm not sure how I'll feel about rewatching Love Sea.

[oatlystrawberryicecream]

Noticed that Jason’s loneliness shows itself when he trying to get in others’ heads. His interest in others’ capacity for the same kind of ruthlessness he’s grown into made me wonder how you think that would relate to the last ask you had about Batfam members who would reach out to him or understand him. For example, Barbara Gordon surrounds herself with people who keep her from going to dark waters. Do you think he would pick and prod at those vulnerabilities to bring her down to his level or do you think his respect for her would keep him from doing that? That interest is what I think would put others off him. Stephanie. Cassandra. Dick.

thank you for such an interesting question!

jason and loneliness: i think he has a strong preference for solitude and that he is actually pretty good about reaching out when he wants company. the ways he reaches out are often dramatic and unhinged, and he will lead with whatever indirect message he thinks will get his foot in the door before he reads the mood and determines if he is safe enough to open up. so it is a toss up whether he will get the companionship and support he wants. but he is good at starting the convo or conflict, whichever it turns out to be this time. he is like a cat that knocks your shit over and then when you scold them jumps on your lap and starts purring and making biscuits.

his enthusiasm at others’ capacity for darkness: everyone acts like jason is uniquely violent but he knows these people are no better than him. jason is discerning in his application of violence! i think regardless of whether he killed garzonas or not he learned what unintended consequences are from the aftermath (the dad’s revenge quest) and so he is pretty deliberate and calculating about that stuff now. all that being said the appeal in seeing other people act on their ruthlessness is to get it to click for them that they dont have anything over him. not everyone would have made the choice to kill captain nazi but everyone can feel ok about him being dead. jason would like for people to get off their high horse and admit it. he has always felt unfairly judged going back to being a kid taken off the streets and dropped into old money luxury, he can never shake the indignity of it, it is just for a different perceived flaw this time. plus like it speaks to the traumatized little boy who as a matter of survival needed to know how the people he was forced to rely on would respond in the worst case scenario. so of course he wants to be prepared for what level of danger he’ll see from them when the tides turn and he’s on the opposing side.

would he try to expose that dark tendency? maybe. i think if something arose that called the more upstanding comic book morality into question he would observe and take note. in some situations he will pointedly remark about how ineffective the dubiously legal vigilante shit is. he is a mouthy guy and his convictions are solid so he cant stop himself sometimes. he knows that not everyone is him and not everyone could live with the choices he has made but he doesn’t think that gives them a right to condemn him. it does not mean they can impose their perspective onto him or expect him to cede and conform for their sake.

for all that we love jason and connect to his story he is an off putting asshole at times. there is a part of him that wants to drag people over to where he is but i think he would rather keep them in his life than be right about them. for me a jason story doesn’t work if he has to constantly overcome his own worldview and ingrained morals to match up to what others want him to be. if it is gonna work i need more flexibility and open mindedness from bat adjacent people.

i dont have much in the way of specific character thoughts here other than he really does let his insecurity take a front seat when it comes to dick and ik it is an elseworld but in dc vs vampires when it was revealed dick was the vamp king jason’s reaction was very telling, also like brothers in blood.

[obigem]

For some people, it always looks better in the morning.

But for Jai that unforuntatley wasn't true.

After he left the Fletcher house the night before, he just kept replaying all his moves in his head and he started to question everything.

What if he came on too strong?

He wanted Cordelia to know his feelings, but he didn't want to make things awkward.

And yet awkward was all things were.

He had gone by her house to walk with her to school, but her mom let him know she'd left early.

Was she avoiding him now?

As he approached the lockers, he saw her down on the end talking to Noah Kane.

Her back was turned to him, she couldn't see him. But he could see her. His heart halted as he anticipated her turning to face him and maybe give some indication that she might return his feelings.

But Cordelia couldn't notice just yet. She was in recruitment mode.

"The Debatalions? Sounds like a fruity balet group. I'll pass."

"No, wait! If it's the name you hate, it's still a work in progress."

"I was workshopping some new names with my dad this morning, and he came up with a really great one. How do you feel about the Master Debators? Great, huh?" "

You're kidding, right?"

"What's wrong with it?"

"That's like a masturbation joke waiting to happen! Are you stupid?"

"What kind of way is that to talk to someone!"

"A good way especially if she comes up with dumb club names like the Masturbators!"

"That's not the name! And if you're going to be rude you can forget about joining!"

"Like I'd want to join your stinky club anyway!" Noah huffed.

She had to admit, hearing Noah dismiss her club out right, it hurt. She wanted to get upset, but she didn't want him to see that he hurt her. Instead she took a page out of Jordie's book.

"Oh, you thought I was inviting you to join? Get real, loser. That was a joke invite."

"Whatever. Like I said before. I didn't wanna be in it anyway." She could tell from his tone of voice that she got to him. She felt kind of bad. She didn't mean to hurt his feelings, but he did hurt hers first.

"Good. This convo never happened." Cordie triumphantly walked away.

But before she could get very far, there right in front of her was Jai.

Her heart hiccuped, and she froze.

She hadn't prepared yet for seeing again, especially not so soon after he'd confessed his feelings to her. What was she supposed to say?

"Hi, Cordie." Jai said nervously.

[happilylovingchaos]

Not an essay-length post like the last couple of times, my late S1 rewatch thoughts from 1x09-1x10 are gonna be way more scattered. I’m sorry, three weeks of not posting rewatch thoughts have done this to me.

Judging from TK and Owen’s convo, this must be indicative of the “equals” dynamic they have going on when they’re off the job or don’t feel the authoritative need. And it says something about TK when even though he’s really going through a full-on PTS existential crisis he not only doesn’t blame a little boy for acting out of fear, he’s pretty chill about Zoe and keeping in contact with her even when god knows how many times he went through the emotionally mountainous peaks and valleys that made up his dad’s love life and 2 failed marriages. (Tbf, timing of meeting your parent’s love interest when you’re coming out of the wrong end of a medical emergency— that timing is awkward). Also I’m low key bitter that we didn’t get a scene of Carlos visiting conscious TK during the rest of the hospital stay or his at-home recuperation. That was quite a lot that happened offscreen. But, all the same, I’m glad TK decided to take a chance and renounce his semi-renouncement of his relationship with Carlos. It’s beautiful.

Having watched Overly Sarcastic Productions’ thoughts on gender-reveal parties (look up the name on YT, then for a video game livestream of Journey), that family is gonna have their hands full with their now 4 sons.

Also late shoutout to the 911 Lone Star Roundup podcast! I am a local Hawaiian so felt so seen when they brought up kalua pork in their 1x02 discussion (btw, kalua pork is very similar to Texan barbacoa but they wrap the seasoned pig/ fish/ chicken in leaves before cooking). Now veering back to 1x09… I feel like the father and son (“Keithan” has very similar hybrid vibes to “Renesmee”, huh) might view the word “spelunking” cold comfort after that experience in… the… the Birth Canal??? (HOW DID I NEVER REALIZE THE INNUENDO?! God, the comments section is bringing out a louder side in me)

The Blake family’s mystery arc, I thought, was pretty good. There could’ve been more to be shown, like most things on the show (like, did the sisters catch a ride to the hospital after Iris saved Michelle? Walk? Wait it out? There was a district-to-citywide electronic shutdown, that doesn’t bode well for unstable mental health) but otherwise? It was good for what we got to see, I think. Low key fight me. Iris bringing up Carlos keeping Michelle out of trouble? Admittedly it is a bit of a stretch to say that it was foreshadowed for season 4, but it was nice to hear him in her thoughts. And the parallels with TK’s past with addiction were subtle, but there in a few more ways than with Owen and Michelle’s talk.

Thinking on the astronaut call, there’s one more late 911 Lone Star Roundup shoutout I wanna make, plus one more retrospective parallel. If the 126 had had TK on the call, or… if TK had heard that call? Yeah. That would hurt him hard. And with what happens to him and his mom two seasons later (in flashbacks to 2017, but still)? … a moment of silence. And I JUST came up with it off the top of my head today.

As for my timeline measurements, I admit defeat now.

But I will pick it back up and try assembling everything again. Not yet, but soon. Just… look. I get that suspension of disbelief in narrative timelines exists for a reason, but please. Some help from a stable continuity would be more than welcomed. I’m not-so-surreptitiously peering at @thisbuildingwithfeelings.

[seriouslysam8]

Hi Sam,

I haven't been able to review in a while, but I have been following Brumous every week and it is going great. It's the best way to close my Sunday's. I look forward to it.

My Q is: Did you plan Sirius being V's son all along or was that something you developed from the conversations abt the story here.

So, when I was writing Backstabber and developing the series, I had Voldemort heal Sirius after a battle where Edgar Bones died. I had him do this because I had cultivated this odd dynamic between Walburga and Voldemort. Initially, I thought maybe Voldy just thought Sirius and Regulus were his. Maybe Walburga lied to him? But he was convinced. But then I started writing Brumous and Bête Noire and I thought, no, I have to do this. I can’t just have it be a ruse. How disappointing would that have been to read? Then I started debating about whether to make one or both of them biologically Voldy’s. Soon, I was like “go big or go home!”

So, no, it was my idea from the beginning. I admit I was weary about how it would be perceived at first, but the more clues I started to drop, the more I realized that I had to do it and I wanted to do it. I didn’t want to hold back on the story I wanted to tell because of my fears. I mean, that’s how Legerdemain got ruined, wasn’t it? I wasn’t going to make the same mistakes. Then, I got a review where someone was like “are you actually doing this? That’d be sick.” (Not exact words because I’m too lazy to go hunting for the review but it was the gist) and I felt good about my decision. Then, someone sent an ask about… I don’t even know? Dropping hints or something in the story? And I immediately thought of the Voldy storyline and mentioned how only one person had picked up on my hints and I was surprised. Then the asks started to flood in and it made me feel really fucking good about my decision. Like I don’t even know why I was so worried at first about it. I’m glad I didn’t cop out.

The only thing that changed with that storyline with discussions here is someone asked that if Voldy was Sirius’ biological dad, how would that work with the blood adoption. I froze. I was like “fuck, I didn’t think about that.” It was a silly oversight on my part because I just wanted to make those boys closer and have it be this cute little thing between them. I debated trying to make it work still because Sirius didn’t know but then that’d cause a slew of issues later when Sirius and Voldy both know and Voldy knows Sirius knows. And I would have realized my mistake when it was too late probably. So I had Andy say something about it, because she’s suspected for years that her cousins were not Orion’s. You can see her little comments in some chapters that suggests she suspects a big family secret.

So, anyway, it was… fuck, very early on in Brumous that I decided to go full blast with the idea. I remember initially running it by Bell and being like, “I have to do this, right??” Like could you imagine??? Then it was all about dealing with the Parseltongue issue and can they or can’t they. How do I make that work? And figuring out my background knowledge of who knew, who suspected, what were their thoughts, and yadda yadda.

But, no, it was not developed based off convos here. It was 100% my idea. You can see clues as far back as Backstabber and very early on in the series. I purposely made Sirius look more like Alphard than Orion, and compared both him and Regulus to Walburga’s branch of the Blacks rather than Orion’s branch. And I dropped a lot of very subtle clues because I thought this couldn’t come out of left field. I wanted people to be like “DUH!! Now x and y make complete fucking sense!”

[teenmomcentral]

Chris Lopez says he can’t get any respect from his oldest son Lux— and his baby mama Kail Lowry and her Cornucopia ‘o’ Gentleman Callers is to blame!

During a rant on Instagram Live on Wednesday, the former Teen Mom 2 baby daddy— who shares sons Lux and Creed with Kail— reportedly blasted Kail for bringing so many men “in and out of” his sons’ lives. He also stated that his oldest son Lux views him as “replaceable” due to him having so many daddy figures in his life over the years.

According to The Sun, Chris admitted that he was struggling to parent Lux.

“I was having one of the hardest times recently. Just like I said one of my weakest moments was just recently because I’m struggling with my son,” Chris said, adding that he has addressed the situation with Kail already.

“I even expressed this concern to his mama and of course they don’t see it that way and I don’t have no shame in sharing that,” Chris said.

“I felt like my son didn’t –- or doesn’t –- appreciate me. You know what I’m saying? I felt like, as a dad I’ve been, for six years, going hard for my kids and s**t like that. My oldest son don’t appreciate me. It just feels like that.”

Chris went on to explain why he feels like six-year-old Lux doesn’t respect him.

“I feel like he feels like I’m replaceable [because] of all the men in and out of his life and that’s a fact,” Chris stated. “…People have noticed that, I’ve noticed that and you say that s**t.

 “To feel like you’re not enough for your own son is a low feeling in life,” he added.

Chris went on to state that he often feels like he has to be “the bad guy” when it comes to parenting Lux and Creed, in order to make sure they stay on-track. 

As The Ashley previously reported, Kail recently welcomed twins—her sixth and seventh children— with her live-in lover Elijah Scott. (She also shares an almost-one-year-old son, Rio, with Elijah). Kail is also mom to Isaac (whom she shares with Jo Rivera) and Lincoln (whose dad is Kail’s ex-husband Javi Marroquin.) 

Kail has acknowledged in the past that her frequent long-term–- and sometimes live-in—- relationships (which, in the past, have been with her baby daddies Jo, Javi and Chris, as well as semi-recent relationships with Malik Montgomery and Elijah) have caused trauma to her kids.

“I will go to the ends of the earth to try to help them heal from it,” Kail said earlier this year on her podcast. 

During a July episode of her Barely Famous podcast, Kail stated that she sees herself making many of the same mistakes her own mother, Suzi, made in regard to having lots of men around while Kail was growing up. 

“I very much did what she did, 100 percent, and I can’t deny that,” Kail said on the podcast. “It’s heartbreaking to see it, and know it and acknowledge it, and to know that at this point, the only thing I can do is acknowledge it, apologize, and try to help [my kids] heal through it.”

“I think that I did perpetuate the cycle of a lot,” Kail said.

That same month on her Coffee Convos podcast, Kail addressed the topic of her having so many lovers around her kids, and admitted that she’s aware it has hurt them.

“If men [coming] in and out of my kids’ lives is the biggest form of trauma [they have], I feel like I can live with that,” she said.

Kail has not yet addressed Chris’ latest Instagram Live comments.

[ram-de]

[Book] Ari&Dante (1) ~P101

[~p10]

I... This book... Umm😳

So. This is another impulsive beginning of starting another book... I never knew about the existence of this novel two days ago. My sister asked me if I had another book to read, and, frankly, I said no because I still have several other thing to read and I’m a slow reader. But I looked of fiction titles anyway... Just some random keywords like ‘Novel about X’ or ‘Things to read about Y’ and stuff like that. And I’ve come across this one. 

IT’S ONLY 10 PAGES but i feel like the synopsis set me up for something exciting like... I LIKE IT... Mostly the bite-sized chapters so I can read it when I could and not forgetting which part of the chapter I’m in. So... Okay. Like, compared to the one book I read but I haven’t picked up again because I kept nitpicking about it (i see u hikkikomori chan from 2015...) BUT THIS ONE... ok. ok. ARGH. 

The first three chapters is what the early part of the introduction. Like, getting to know about our main protagonist, his relation with his family, upbringing and what bothers him. That’s mostly it. This is far too early to write anything about what I thoughts lol but i’m excited to pour my excitement into words so I can’t help but write about it. expecting good vibes. HA....

*I just looked it up but the term ‘book’ and ‘novel’ aren’t interchangeable?!?! there’s like word count and stuff. oh well maybe I’ll just change the title of this kind of thing later on >_> -------------------------------------------------------

[~p20]

Interrupting reading more to write some of my thoughts is a bad idea i swear but UHHH I’M😳

...

...

i love them ur honor. it’s so fluffy (as of now, bcs there’s probably angst and conflict later) but like the way characters is portrayed is soooooooo good. i am feeling things!!!! it’s making my heart warm!!!! and the tropes... opposites attract?????? two lonely peeps finding comfort in one another????? okay... OK??? HELLO...

-------------------------------------------------------

[~p76]

uh... why do i feel so sad now. ari is having a fever and he’s sick and he started to have all this dreams which i don’t really understand because dreams are dreams but i feel like i’ll understand the more i read but IT HURTS. moving onto the second chapter i feel like the aspect of loneliness is going to be described more and it’s scary... i think.

i think summer break is over and supposedly they’re going to admit back to school? something about ari being happy to know even a tiny bit of his dad ‘being real’. so precious... love that there’s a lot of light dialogues, makes it seems like i’m intruding their conversation. also i said some stuff about liking opposites attract but i didn’t know they’re also going to put angst with that because... dante seems like the one to have everything (emphasis on seems because he has something going on too) while ari lowkey feels like he doesn’t compare and jealousy and stuff😔 i’m lowkey dumb about philosophy and like the deeper meaning so i’ll just read it as i read. NOT ANGST... PLEASE... 

-------------------------------------------------------

[~p101]

...

...

:(

no one told me there’s going to be angst... and the trope of sudden “i will be moving abroad”... and the accident... and now that i’m almost 1/3rd of reading the whole book.... maybe i should take my time reading. BUT I CAN’T HELP IT....? i’m to engrossed in reading this ugh... i really liked ari and dante’s convo they make me laugh!! the repeated words in their convo. like. idk. it felt so endearing i don’t really know what else to describe. digging down to ari’s fear is scary because it’s kinda described in umm... a little bit too uncanny description, i guess? like okay... >_> 

this post is so messy lol i want to write a post about what i thought overall about this novel, but after i read it whole. so that it can be more better worded and i’m not interrupted every 20 minutes because the urge to read more lol

[bumblesimagines]

Just finished watching all three To All The Boys movies

My thoughts?

FUCK PETER KAVINSKY

[andrea-suneo]

BAD BUDDY EPISODE 6 - THE PERFECT FOLLOW UP FOR THE KISS

-Pran touching his lips after the kiss: Hands down one of my fave after kiss moments EVER. There was such a realistic vibe to it, when you think about something you wanted for so long but after you get it you wonder if it was the right decision... I think everyone felt like that at least once and it was such a small gesture but so realistic and almost cute that made my heart melt.

-Pat goint to Pran’s room right after the kiss: How I loved that Pat immediately went to Pran, he want to talk it out, whatever reason Pran run away crying, he wanted to know and I loved that he didn’t wait.

-The guitar: When Pran says he doesn’t want the guitar if he knows he won’t be able to keep it, here it shows perfectly how Pran never really thought he could have Pat, this breaks my heart

-Pat’s dad VS Pran’s mom: I think this is a key point to understand why it’s easier for Pat to go after Pran. Pat wasn’t the one that got punished just for being in a school project with the other boy, he wasn’t the one that has a family that hates the other boy, he had it rough but also easier in a way. Pat grew up knowing the other family is to avoid, as a whole yes, but his parents don’t hate Pran, they just hate his parents and so don’t want Pat to be near him because he’s trouble! Pran’s mom on the other hand treats Pat as if he was part of whatever went down with his parents. In a way this parallels the groups of friends as well. As I already said, eng group hates arc group, in general, not Pran! while arc group hates both eng and especially Pat! I think that makes Pran’s  feel more burdened.

-Pat and the paper game, respecting Pran’s decisions: The paper game, to me, is another important point! What I noticed is that the other pairings keep losing all them time, if they can’t keep the balance. Pat, stepping in the paper only after Pran and with only one feet is allowing the other to go away at any moment, he keeps talking to him but he only touches him to save Pran from the fall! That really shows how serious Pat is about all of this, he doesn’t want Pran to do or say things he doesn’t want to but he also wants to know what’s going on. -Wai and the friends: I hate and love Wai. He cares about Pran, he sees Pat as a bully probably and that’s why he wants him away, but at the same time I love how they can make the two groups of friends look likeable based on the POV we’re watching. I felt like this episode showed well both of PatPran POVs but at this point is clear that no group is perfect -Breaking the wall, the market scene: Small detail but when they’re at the market and that man tells them they look cute together? None of them denies, showing how Pran actually still wants Pat to be around (also, he leaves the guitar at Wai’s, which is the most noticeable object, but he still keeps things his mom doesn’t know like the watch or airpods)

-At the beach, somewhat a love confession with queer subtext: (First of all I’d like to say that Pat is in Teh’s cosplay or something because those look like his clothes) "without people around, i can sit next to you just fine. but when there are people around, talking to you feels like a matter of life and death." "what can we do? we're just born this way?" It might be a stretch but doesn’t it feel like even if in the series it’s about the families, it could also be about how queer people live real life? We know P’Aof really cares about those themes (he cares about a lot of things in general, like this is the second episode about eco-friendly things) but this convo really touched my heart! Also I think this is the second thing that starts to break the after kiss wall but Pran saying ‘’ If our families weren’t enemies...’’ and the hand touching to me really fells like a confession, at that point is like they both know they’re on the same page about their feelings, Pran doesn’ say it, it would hurt too much to say it out loud (and let’s also admit they’re both full of pride when it comes to each other)

-Room together: That’s why I think Pran’s wall started to break in the beach scene, while during the paper game he was annoyed to be paired up with Pat here he looked hopeful, God knows what would have happened if they were in the same room with all that tension piled up. -Pran taking Pat’s side: I think that’s the second moment where Pran realizes he really can’t ignore Pat. While I don’t like that his friends wanted to beat him up it also served as an excuse to show us (and Pran) how deep he’s into it, how much he could never really ignore the other

-Pran doesn’t want Pat to understand him, his walls would break: For the whole episode I wondered ‘doesn’t Pran want to know what Pat is thinking?’‘ and here I realized that no, he really didn’t want to know and didn’t want the other to know either, he knows Pat, he was how persisten he can be, he doesn’t need him to understand his reasons because he, as he proved the whole episode already, would still fight to be next to him. But then there’s the last thing that makes Pran give up, Pat admitting he doesn’t like Ink and that she knows. Because all along what he needed to give up was for Pat to speak first clearly. Next Post I’ll talk about the bet so click here or look for it on my profile

[kaypeace21]

The kids & teens echo their parents' problematic teachings/mistakes ( narrative analysis).

Brenner (’Papa’) in s1 k*dnapped El (according to Becky/Terry) to makes her into a weapon and spy to "fight the commies". Brenner in s1 also tells her to spy on people using her powers and to repeat the words she hears back to him. El in s3 says she can ″fight” the russians/ “commies” using her powers, spies on the boys and repeats the words she hears- back to Max . And literally in s3 when deciding to go into the void to see the mindflayer; she says a similar phrase brenner said to her in s1 (when discussing her going into the void to interact with the demogorgon). We also see how in s1 she refused to k*ll a cat like Brenner told her to- but in a flashback (between s1-2) she was so desperate for food in the woods she k*lled a squirrel with her powers (something that she felt guilt over).

When Will in a s1 flashback- admits he doesn’t like baseball but is doing it to appease their dad. Jonathan says “don’t like things cause people tell you you’re supposed to. ESPECIALLY not him (Lonnie)” Will in s3 rips up everything he likes-comics, drawings, etc .And  smashes castle byers (*which he originally drew/ and later created with jonathan after their dad left* ) using a baseball bat to do so.We also see in s1-2 Will still has a baseball and baseball mitt in his room (showing he really didn’t takes jonathan’s advice to heart).I also talked about how the destruction of cb also hints at Will’s abandonment issues and internalized homo*phobia-here.

Billy flashbacks show he quite literally became his father/ab*ser. When in a baseball-flashback he calls Billy a "p*ssy" we then see young-Billy get into a fight and call another boy a "p*ssy". We see Neil backhand slap his wife in the face- as kid Billy cries "don't hurt her." But than flayed-Billy backhand slapped Max in the face. Max in s2 even mentions Billy hurts her cause he can’t hurt her mother. And in s2 he hit Steve with a plate- mirroring his mother throwing a plate at Neil. In s2 he also shoved Lucas into a bookshelf after Neil did so to him. And in the st novel ‘runaway-max’ Max mentions Billy’s r*cist beliefs were originally from Neil.

We all see how Will parallels to Billy-aka h*mophobic dads forcing their sons named William play to baseball (and the many other parallels). I also think it’s pretty telling that El in s3 is watching Billy in the void flashbacks- evolve into his father/ab*ser (in the same season her and Will are subconsciously mirroring their ab*sive dads). We see she does empathize with Billy to a certain extent. I talked about it in more depth here. But cliffnote version: El uses the term “pretty” for woman she aspires to be like-Nancy was 1 of them in s1.  So El cries when describing Billy’s mom as “pretty” cause she knows what it’s like to have a mother figure (Terry) stripped away from you because of an ab*sive father - similar to both her & Billy’s experience .

Max tells Lucas she can be angry like Billy sometimes (aka her nickname ‘mad max’) and never wants to be like him. But after this convo she mimics Billy. Earlier, we see Billy in s2 antagonize max and demand her to “say it. say it!”And later Max yells at Billy “say it! say it” and attacks him with a bat. (Baseball was something Neil taught Billy). Showing that even Neil has influenced her to a certain extent (via Billy’s ab*se of Max). And thus showing the generational cycle of ab*se. And it’s also a parallel to Will; since both vent their anger via a bat.

Jonathan & Billy’s are foils. Foils can be characters with some similarities to highlight a key difference between said characters. They have similarities but the biggest difference between them is: despite similar backgrounds one is a good older brother and the other is not. And obviously jonathan, like other characters loosely paralleled to Billy, aren’t b*gots like Billy.But look at the similarities .  Both have homophobic dads who are into baseball , both had their dads shove them into walls, both had a parent abandon them, both are into rock,both are poor, both are attracted to wheeler women,both are older brothers. Both attacked Steve after their younger sibling disappears. Jonathan also tells a story where his dad made him k*ll a rabbit- to " teach him" how to be more like him. Hargrove (Billy's last name) - means "Grove filled with rabbits". And in s4 it's rumored Jonathan works at 'surfer boy" pizza. And who was a surfer boy in s3...billy. I also wanted to breakdown Jonathan & Billy’s fights with Steve ( and how it reflects their father issues… which Steve accidentally triggered):We see Billy and Jonathan both shoved into walls by their father’s . For Billy this is in a direct consequence of Max running away . And for Jonathan- Will’s disappearance (and Jonathan assuming Will ran away to Lonnie’s). Billy first shoves Lucas into the wall similarly to Neil. And both Jonathan and Billy are told to “STOP”. 

Billy mimics his mother-by throwing plates at Steve. And  we see jonathan before the fight to tell nancy to leave and it’s “not worth it” to argue with Steve. However he stops in his tracks when Steve says he’s “like his father”. Then Steve proceeds to insult his family. And  eventually Jonathan who throughout every season is generally portrayed as non confrontational attacks steve.Even when the cops come- Jonathan elbows the cop in the face and kicks steve with handcuffs on and even says handcuffed for the cop to “get off’ (like he told Lonnie earlier -after Lonnie shoved him into the wall).

Both would rather hurt  their own fathers-but Steve (and the cops) were used as their proxy instead. The fights might also reflect what the boys have been taught by their fathers-aka vi*lence. Also on some subconscious level jonathan may have been like-oh you think i’m like my dad? I’ll show you what my dad is like (beats steve with no mercy)

With Dustin, his relationship with Dart in s2 echoes his mom's emotional dependence on her cat, Mews. And as Claudia ( his mom) goes searching for Mews - Dustin goes searching for Dart. 

Kali ,  is a deeply nuanced and often kind character-  but uses her powers to make Brenner “her papa” be  her literal mouth piece when trying to persuade others. Sort of similar to El & Billy repeating words from their papa/dad.

In regards to (Dysfunctional) ROMANCE...

In s1, Nancy says “my parents never loved each other”. Later Jonathan says Nancy is repeating her mom’s mistake of being with someone she doesn’t even love ( by being with Steve). We even see Steve parallel Ted in s2 to hammer down this point . Both give mike advice about “staying on the bench” and the “team”, in s2.  This is also another baseball ref, since Ted mentions Mike “striking” out (Steve also had a baseball- trophy in his room, in s1, as another parallel between the 2). Plus, both steve and Ted eat chicken as both wheeler women storm off  from the dinner table upset. Both Ted/steve were/are athletes who were rich and older . But the st*ncy relationship does end in s2 -and she doesn’t continue to repeat  her mother’s mistakes.

We also see Mike repeating his mother and Nancy’s mistakes -in regards to romance. Mike wears similar shirts as his mom and dad in s3- who are stuck in a loveless marriage. The same season he's in his awkward forced relationship with El. in s3, mother and son are in loveless relationships but are both secretly interested in a dude named William. Yep.

We also have in s3 Mike saying after pissing off El “what did i do wrong?” what did i do wrong?” (2x while eating). Mirroring how Ted after angering Karen says “what did I do? what did i do?” ( 2x while eating).

Or how in s1 Mike encourages El to sit in Ted’s lazeboy saying “that’s where my dad sleeps” .And in s3 -as Karen watches Ted sleep in the laze-boy  the lyrics “ I should have walked away “ play. As she holds back tears regretting her decision to be with him .

This is also why Mike tells El romantic love is “something OLD people say” & Mike tells Will “we’re not KIDS anymore” (and says they have to get girlfriends / can’t live together for the rest of their lives). cause he’s just is trying to mimic his parent’s romantic dynamic with El.

And similar to Steve being compared to Ted (Nancy’s dad) to show st*ncy won’t won’t work out. Mike is paralleled to Hopper (El’s dad) to show m*leven won’t work out . EXAMPLES:

* Both saying to El  to eat “real food” not “eggos.”

* Saying others are “corrupting her” and in response gals say neither guy respect El’s ability to make “decisions” in regards to romance. Hopper not accepting El wanted to be with Mike ( and wants them to break up)  and Mike not accepting she dumped him.

*both  burping on couch eating chips. Hopper is on a lazeboy so kind of a loose parallel to ted.

*explaining promise vs com-promise: and making promises. (Hopper even spells it “com-promise” (to make the parallel more obvious). Steve in s2 also makes a “promise” to Nancy after their breakup.

* Both saying her “(New) look …it’s cool”. Also need to point out Nancy called Steve “cool” to his face after their awkward breakup-to break the ice .Just like mike did in relation to El (after their breakup).

* And  both saying the look is“bitchin” after El says the new look is “bitchin” ,first.

* El saying to Hopper and Mike “you lie.”

* Max saying “find something that feels like you -NOT HOPPER .NOT MIKE- you.”

* We also had mike be called El’s brother & cousin in s1. And in s2 the 2 are paralleled to Luke/leia (siblings).Plus ,there’s the loose parallel of Joyce (El’s foster mom) & Terry (mom) keeping lights up/El’s room decorations up hoping their kid is alive-sort of Like Mike keeping the blanket fort up & talking to El via walkietalkie (like Joyce with the phones to Will).

In s3 Jonathan is called “mother’s son”, and grabs an axe like Joyce does in s1 . Similarly, Will is called “Lonnie’s kid” ,and in s3 mimics Lonnie by grabbing a  bat . Joyce in s3 also wears Jonathan’s s1 shirt. (Comparable, to how Mike wears similar clothes to his parents - and repeats their romantic mistakes- specifically his mother’s).  Which begs the question. What romantic mistakes of his mother is jonathan repeating? Well this is going to be A LOT to break down...

Both Jonathan/Joyce make the same romantic mistakes. (which is why j*ncy/j*pper mirror eachother).  Murray  brings up Lonnie when talking about the potential of J*ancy/J*pper first getting together.Both j*pper and j*ncy get into a yelling match in cars in s3. And Murray asks if both ships are having "lovers quarrels '.

When describing j*pper in the car , Murray says Joyce thinks of Hopper as a “brute” that reminds her of a past "bad relationship" (lonnie) and that she wants to be with a “good guy” (like bob)  but that she’s “curious how (Hopper) is in the sac’ - ‘sac’ is slang for bed. Murray also says in the car to j*pper " cut the horsesh*t -and admit your sexual feelings for eachother”. Mirroring  In s2 murray saying for j*ncy to " cut the bullsh*t -and share the damn bed '. Notice Murray emphases the physical relationship more than the emotional- saying J*ncy should go to the “bed” and Jopper the ‘sac’ (slang for bed) in order to cut the horse/bull-sh*t.

The first thing we see of j*ncy in s3ep1 is them literally them sharing a bed , half dressed after b*nging, lipstick on Jonathan's face. Then Joyce (wearing jonathan’s s1 shirt)-points to and touches the lipstick on his face. After this J*ncy gets in the car - and as Nancy yells at jonathan to not give her a ‘jonathan byer’s pep talk’, he sighs /agrees , and Nancy applies her lipstick . Showing  a stark contrast between their physical chemistry vs emotional chemistry. (And how this connects to Joyce and Jonathan being similar in their romantic entanglements-let me elaborate.)

The shirt Joyce wears in s3 is originally worn in a s1 flashback, where  jonathan(in his room) tells Will not to mimic Lonnie’s teachings (about baseball). But also when Jonathan hears his parents arguing on the phone.

We see in s1-present time (after Will goes missing) -Jonathan watching Joyce on the phone begging for Lonnie to respond. Jonathan in s3 specifically gets offended Nancy waited a whole night to call him about an emergency (that may relate to Will)- because when Joyce begged Lonnie to call her back over an emergency about Will- Lonnie never called her back. Heck in s1 & 2 we even have a scene of Joyce getting annoyed at hearing Hopper & Lonnie’s answering machines. 

We even have the Nancy applying Lipstick scene parallel the j*ncy phone convo.  Nancy saying to not give a Jonathan byers’ “peptalk-right now”/ “lecture-right now” (positive and negative words)cause “ I really don’t need/give a sh*t���.

And maybe it’s a stretch but Jonathan saying to Nancy (while shooting Lonnie’s gun).“ I guess *he ( and my mother* must have loved eachother { at some point}” . Reminds me of  Nancy saying to Jonathan in s3 “ I guess *we* just don’t understand eachother {anymore}”.

Jonathan even brought up his father-in his car fight with Nancy. So i believe this line comparison was intentional by the writers. In both the j*ncy/j*pper car fights Lonnie is brought up. Lonnie affects Joyce and Jonathan’s relationships without even having to be around.

Also , yes, I’m aware that neither side was entirely right in the s3 j*ncy fight (nor am I excusing what Jonathan did to Nancy in s1).But let’s break something down- Nancy causes him to lose his job (which he needs to support his family /for his own college-since his dad isn’t around). And then Nancy says “here comes the Oliver twist routine again” (showing she doesn’t care much about his poverty that Oliver and Jonathan share or the fact -similar to Oliver-a parent is gone). Than right after Jonathan brings up his dad-she really put salt in his wounds calling him an “assh*le” (like Nancy called Lonnie- right before jancy first hooked up).

Nancy does apologize  and says she never even thought he was like “those assh*les” and “never meant it”. But Jonathan just dismisses the remark  by saying she just said it "in anger”- and then jonathan says to Nancy he’s “completely, entirely, mortifying wrong” for the fight. Which -no ... he wasn’t. Even Nancy did a double take at his comment- and Jonathan smirks cause they know it’s bs to patch up their fight. Than Jonathan says to not let it get to her head .which it immediately does as she says “i look forward to you never doubting me again.” But you know he’s probably emulating what Joyce used to say to pacify Lonnie. Cause (similar to Nancy in anger) Lonnie in anger called Joyce “an assh*le” too- while hypocritically attacking her parenting. And Jonathan says nothing to this. But does excuse Nancy for doing so to him-by dismissing it as just anger/the fact she didn’t mean it. what is telling is in that same”assh*le” convo -Lonnie says about Jonathan’s words “ SEE. (cough audience) that’s your mother talking RIGHT THERE”. Again illustrating how he mimics  Joyce (especially in dysfunctional romantic dynamics).

The first scene of j*ncy in s3 after “sharing the bed” is even a back to the future ref-a film name dropped in s3 (by steve/robin who mention the creepy  parent /son vibes in the film) . Jonathan puts on his pants and trips and falls face first. This in ‘back to the future’ happens to Marty -when a younger-version of his parent hits on him. yikes...

We also know how Billy & Jonathan are foils. SO (another parallel/contrast is)... Billy is attracted to  mrs.wheeler cause she subconsciously reminded him of the parent (mother) who abandoned him as a kid. Jonathan is attracted to miss Wheeler ( Nancy) cause subconsciously she reminds him of the parent (father) who abandoned him as a kid. Both are subconsciously  getting into unhealthy relationships to fill that void of abandonment-caused by their parent.

*Also people seem to forget part of the reason Jonathan made a move on Nancy In s2 was to PROVE he didn’t have ‘trust issues’ relating to his dad. Which he does.

He’s internalized his parent’s romantic dynamic to a certain extent- he’s just more in the Joyce Role.  While Nancy fits more so in the Lonnie role (no I’m not saying she’s as bad Lonnie- it’s just a lose parallel).

It’s especially ironic since he criticized Nancy for “rebelling” and making the same romantic mistakes as her mother. And telling her she’ll just end up with someone like her dad. And that st*ncy will be “like your parents who you found so depressing”. He wasn’t wrong - st*ncy was like karen/ted. But-Yikes. J*ncy is resembling Joyce/Lonnie too. Both Nancy pairings fit Jonathan’s expression of being in a relationship that resembles their  parents. ‘Black meet kettle’ (google that expression if confused). Nice work buddy you played yourself XD.

*Also, in s1, during Jonathan’s relationship lecture to Nancy, he throws in the mention of the  ‘cul-de-sac’ because Nancy mentioned at the sh**ting range how her parents moved there to make the perfect nuclear family . Symbolically I think it’s fitting that’s where the wheeler-parents moved to since it can translate to ”a route or course leading nowhere.” Nancy also states she thinks her parents never loved eachother (st*ncy-aka Nancy saying she “loved “ steve when she didn’t). She mentions this after Jonathan says he wasn’t around for when his parents supposedly loved eachother (j*ncy- they have strong feelings for eachother-but are just not compatible). But, unlike j*ncy, i don’t think Lonnie ever loved Joyce -but Jonathan despite hating him- thought he must have loved Joyce at some point (despite never seeing proof) . Cause when Nancy says her parents never loved eachother he just says “must have married for some reason?”(aka he assumes love=marriage). So i think both j*ncy & st*ncy loosely parallel their parent’s romantic dynamics (at least to a certain degree). Even the camera angle during the s3 j*ncy  fight- emphasizes  Nancy’s side profile -reminiscent of the s1 convo where her and jonathan talk about their parent’s messed up relationships.

Ok back to discussing the shirt of Joyce & Jonathan.The shirt Joyce wears that’s originally jonathan’s is shown when Jonathan tells Will not to mimic Lonnie’s teachings / Jonathan hears Joyce arguing with Lonnie via phone. The other time Jonathan grabs the shirt is when he’s in his room (and thinks he hears Joyce on the phone) .It’s also worn by Joyce as she brings attention to the lipstick (which is a symbol of fighting/mostly the physical chemistry of j*ncy).   And Joyce also wears this shirt when she  picks up the bob drawing and sadly caresses it.

Later (in the same shirt) after Hopper asks her out :Joyce watches cheers (Ep “rescue me”) and jopper is compared to Dianne and fraiser. Diane says as joyce is listening to the tv “He (fraiser) had a couple of sips of Chianti tonight and asked me to marry him.” At dinner Hopper orders a chianti  while being stood up by Joyce. And Dianne and Frasier don’t marry and are also not endgame, cause she ditches him at the alter.

The other ep of cheers she watches in s3 was with Bob in a flashback , and was called “ the rebound part 2″ in reference to Fraiser (aka Hopper). He’s just a rebound to Bob-why she’s thinking of Bob after Hopper asked her out. Aka lIke Murray said to her later in s3-she really does want to be with a “nice man” like Bob but goes for men that aren’t necessarily good for her- that she gets in yelling matches with similar to Hopper/Lonnie. Because she’s curious how they’re “like in the SAC”.

Also is it a parallel to Karen & Ted who are together living in a loveless marriage in a cul-de-SACK? like the “sac”?maybeeee... This is the same season Karen (stuck in her loveless marriage) says J*pper is ‘odd’ -but oblivious Ted just puts a hand on her shoulder and says “well you know what they say. Someone for everyone” . Karen turns to Ted, back at j*pper: SIGHS DEEPLY. Ted while jopper stare at eachother: “Holy smokes”.

Also, I’m not saying Nancy & Hopper are as bad as lonnie it’s just a loose comparison- that Joyce & Jonathan lean into relationships that involve a lot of “lover’s quarrels” and s*x (rather than something more emotionally healthy).

You could also argue that m*leven /St*ncy being called bullsh*t (aka not in love) ties to Murray saying about the j*ncy/J*pper “cut the bullsh*t/horseh*t” (as foreshadowing that it’s not healthy either). Nancy even says in s1 : her h**king up with Steve is “b*llshit” as foreshadowing. But in s1, she also says Jonathan’s ‘romantacized excuse’ for wrongly taking her pic was also “b*llshit” so it could be foreshadowing too?

We also see St has this recurrent theme : characters A’s bf/gf paralleling character A’s parent- st*ncy (not endgame),j*ncy( TBD?),m*leven ( TBD?)

Similar to how Nancy/Steve parallels her parents, Nancy/Jonathan parallels his parents, Nancy/steve also parallels Steve’s parents. It’s implied Steve's dad in s1 cheated on steve's mother (but she still stays with him and follows him on his business trips cause she doesn’t trust him to not cheat).  Tommy saying it’s a “good call” for her to do so. Making the fact Steve wrongfully assumed Nancy cheated on him (with jonathan) in s1 probably sting more. Steve- even after this wrong assumption is clarified- still doesn’t trust Nancy and  echos his mom in s2 saying he could stay in Hawkins for a year-so he can “look after her” and so she won’t “forget (his) pretty face.” Mirroring his mom. Later, after their fight at the party he calls jonathan Nancy’s " other boyfriend' . Showing he always feared inf*delity/Nancy cheating on him with jonathan (after s1). Later after this fight (and or breakup) Tommy  is the first to throw it in Steve’s face that Nancy went  away with Jonathan. After this- Steve once again- tries to get back with/makeup with Nancy .  Not even getting into whether or not they were officially broken up when Nancy ‘left town’ and hooked with jonathan. Cause people on both sides constantly debate it- I constantly go back and forth with myself over the answer ,tbh. Nancy dancing to the lyric “every vow you break” is up to you to interpret. The singer Sting divorced in 1984 (same year as s2) following his affa*r -which is how the song “every breath you take” came to be in the first place.  And it’s about spying on your ex and monitoring them- cough like how l*max and m*lven also had spying elements and danced to the song (mindflayer spying). And sort of like Steve wanting to watch Nancy out of romantic insecurity. I'm not dying on either hill tbh on whether st*ncy were already broken up. ( I think the Duffers made it debatable/ambiguous on purpose).  The point is Steve mimicked his mother to a certain extent: cause that behavior of staying despite possible infidelity (or just staying despite having so little trust in your partner you assumed they’d cheat unless you watched them) was normalized by her.  Either option isn’t healthy.But , regardless, we see Steve actually decides it’s best to be apart-unlike his mother. ps: Steve in s1 called his dad an “a$$h*le” , similar to Lonnie being called that as well. 

Similar to how Mike tries to emulate his parent’s dynamics into his own romantic relationship (in s3)-lucas does the same.Lucas' dad in s2 says to Lucas that when his wife is mad the 1st thing he does is apologize and then to buy her whatever she wants. In s3 we see Lucas sort of misinterpret his dad’s words . When giving Mike romantic advice he says "get them some thing pretty that says I'm sorry"(he forgot the whole first step of verbally apologizing and jumps right to the presents just being a symbol for the actual apology) . 

 In this same s2 convo  Lucas asks his dad “what if she’s wrong?” And his dad JOKES “she’s never wrong” . But kid-Lucas takes this literally (when it was clearly a joke). So when Mike asks in s3 “what did I do wrong?”. Lucas says Mike did “nothing” wrong  (which Mike most certainly was wrong) and he implies men always have to apologize even if the girl is wrong-  so Mike is the “victim”. 

And  before I hear it.No. I won’t tolerate Lucas hate/villifying here (in comments/reblogs)-so don’t try it! He’s literally a kid in middle school.  And every character has flaws that they’re unlearning.I shouldn’t have to say this . It should be obvious - that every character is nuanced and evolving.but there’s a double standard in this fandom when it comes to characters that are poc: we see how people villify Kali despite her good points and than act like Billy is a saint - sigh. And i still remember the weird lucas hate from s1.  i don’t want to contribute to that bs in the fandom or be accused of such.Anyways... I digress

 The whole point of this post is to analyze parental (& other nuanced characterizations or) dynamics-not ‘attack’ your fav character/ship. Although I’ll be honest most of the ships mentioned- i don’t have much hope for being endgame XD.I love the characters, though.My hope (and assumption) is most of the characters i’ve discussed will see what they’re doing and actively stop repeating their parent’s questionable teachings/dynamics.

 Also fun fact- it’s very telling we had the 2 main villains in s1 be 'Papa' (terrorizing el) and a creature that in d&d is a demon called "the deep father" (terrorizing Will). In s1, Nancy even describes the demogorgan as “like a lion” & Lonnie’s name literally means “lion’.

Not to mention all the other parallels between Lonnie and the monsters- which I talked about it here .

[londonalozzy]

Stop Pretending (TFATWS)

Fandom: Marvel

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Genre: Romance, Angst

Summary: The reader thinks she's doing a stellar job of keeping her feelings for a certain soldier buried deep inside. Turns out, all it takes is an observant new friend to begin the unraveling of her most precious secret (Spoilers for TFATWS)

Masterlist

Word: Pretence

Definition: A way of acting that is intended to deceive people.

Example: Saying that he's just a friend when he's really the love of your life.

Your POV

Being caught in the midst of war is something that I, (Y/N) (Y/L/N)  know all too well. As a war vet, former shield agent, and now Avenger I'm used to being centered amongst conflict. When the fight begins within me though, a battle between what I want and what I think is right, how will I react? Will I listen to my heart, my head, or will the winner be chosen for me?

Delacroix, Louisiana.....

I love my sleep, always have, always will. It's not necessarily the comfort of the bed, the quiet or even the rest. It's the fact that I'm at peace when I sleep. My life has a tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, so anything that will put that off for as long as possible I savor.

I wish it were the same for a certain super soldier in my life. I look forward to going to bed, everything calms down then, and for most people it's the same. For Bucky however, it's when everything starts, the nightmares, the terrors, the seemingly unending darkness. If only I could take his pain away like he has with mine.

For the last few weeks, my life had, for want of a better word, been hectic. Hectic to say the least.

After the eventual defeat of Thanos and the loses we endured as a result, I thought naively that life might calm down a bit, that I'd have time to breathe, to live. How wrong I was.

It all began with John Walker being announced to the world as the new Captain America.

I was baking cookies with Morgan in the Stark family kitchen when it came over the radio. As that latest turn of events sunk in, my first thoughts were of Bucky, what that would do to him. Not even an hour later I had said my goodbyes and was on my way to help him get the shield back.

Since then even more had happened. We'd regrouped with Sam, busted Zemo out of prison which in turn ruffled the feathers of Ayo and the Dora Milaje. We came face to face with Morgenthou and the Flag Smashers, and finally witnessed the man who thought he could even compete with Steve, make himself judge, jury and most significantly executioner.

After that went around the world we knew we had to end it sooner rather than later. It couldn't get much worse than Captain America becoming a murderer. We got the shield back, which was a fight all in itself. Handed Zemo over to Ayo, to try and recompense for the distrust we'd instilled in the people who'd helped us so much. Then we travelled to stay with Sam and his family in Louisiana whilst we waited for Karli's next move.

This is where we found ourselves now, in the eye of it, the calm before the storm.

Waking up in the Wilson households guest room, I was greeted to the golden hue of the rising sun penetrating through the single glaze windows, and the melodic sounds of gulls on the hunt for their morning meal down by the docks.

Actually, no that's not right. What I could hear was most certainly not birds, and it was definitely not melodic. What were those boys doing?

Quickly and quietly I threw on the first clothes I could get my hands on and made my way downstairs towards the noise. What caught my attention when I discovered the source, was not the two youngest Wilson boys playing with our newly reacquired shield in the living room, but the super solider who was blissfully ignorant to it all, sleeping peacefully on the couch in front of them. I don't think I'd ever been so happy.

"Right you two, if you're determined to play Avengers all morning then I suggest you re-assemble in the back yard. You're gonna wake Bucky up," I whispered out in one breath, stepping between the boys, then placing my hands on their backs and tip toeing them towards the door.

"So what if we wake him up? It's gone 10am," Cass questioned in protest, pulling on his sneakers and jacket.

"Exactly! Which is why if you do as I say, I will make you the biggest plate of waffles for breakfast that you've ever seen."

The boys eyes lit up. "Can we have ice cream with it? Mum never lets us have ice cream for breakfast, and I'm sure there's a tub of Stark raving hazelnuts in the freezer," AJ clapped in muted excitement. "Oh, for God's sake.....Yes. You can have whatever you want if you get out of this house now and keep the noise down."

Once the boys were outside, I made my way over to the kitchen, stopping on the way to lean over my favourite senior citizen and make sure that he was still peaceful in his slumber. He'd never looked so relaxed, so at ease. It was a brand new Bucky I'd never seen before, a Bucky that had my heart pounding for him even more than it normally did. Not that he knew any of that.

Half an hour later and up to my elbows in waffle mix, I failed to notice my new friend and host Sarah making her way to my side at the counter, the huge smile on my face not going unnoticed. "What's got you grinning like the Cheshire cat, like I need to ask?"

"Bucky's sleeping. Isn't it amazing?" I spoke softly, bouncing up and down on my feet as I did so.

"And why is that?" She couldn't looked more confused if she tried.

"In all the years I've known him, I don't think I've ever woken up before he has. If his nightmares don't keep him awake all night, they normally have him up before the crack of dawn. I don't think I've ever seen him so still."

"Good answer," Sarah nodded in a hush, understanding why this meant so much to me, but not done yet with her morning interrogations, "Now on to my next question......"

"I'm already not liking the sound of this."

"Sleeping Beauty over there follows you around like a little puppy dog. He hangs on your every word, looks at you like you hung the stars or something. It's pretty obvious how crazy he is about you, so when are you gonna stop pretending that you're not head over heels in love with him?"

"I don't know what you're talking about Wilson," I smiled forcefully, making out like the waffle maker deserved my attention way more than the conversation I was being made to have.

This was all Sam's doing, without a shadow of a doubt. He'd tried to have this conversation with me on multiple occasions and I shut him down every time. He obviously hadn't given up like I thought he did, and decided to draft in his sister. He is seriously gonna regret it when I find him.

"Sure you know what I'm talking about. Sam sees it, I don't even know you that well and I see it. The only reason Bucky doesn't, is because he doesn't believe he could ever be that lucky. You're a smitten kitten." These Wilson's are all as annoying as each other.

Knowing I wasn't getting out of this one, I grabbed Sarah by the arm and pulled her right into the corner of the room, trying my best to keep this convo as private as possible. "Look, I'm not pretending.....I'm ignoring. There's a difference."

"Care to explain what that difference is?" Sarah spoke softly, but with a sarcastic air.

Turning to look over my shoulder at the subject of our conversation, making sure he was still safely in the land of nod, I decided to just be honest. Sarah was much like her brother. Once she wanted to get to the bottom of something she wasn't about to give up.

"I love Bucky, more than I've ever loved anyone...and that terrifies me," the rawness of finally being honest making my voice shake, and tears come to my eyes. "Nat was like my sister, and she's dead. Tony was the closest I've ever gotten to having a Dad...and he's dead too. Then there's Steve, Vision, God knows where Wanda is....Everyone I love, either leaves or dies. If I admit my feelings for Buck then I face the risk of losing him too."

"Do you have any idea how crazy you sound right now? He's not going to die because you love him (Y/N)."

Silent tears were falling now. I was revealing my deepest fears to a woman I'd only known a few days, and I'm not underplaying it when I say it was like a colossal weight off my chest, a release I didn't know I needed. "Believe me...I know, but I can't take that risk. I can't lose anyone else, especially not him."

"Let's just say for a second that you're right, that there is some higher power somewhere, set on destroying everyone you love. Do you really think ignoring your feelings is going to make them disappear?" I didn't know what to say to that. "Natasha and Stark died so that everyone could continue living, and (Y/N) you're not living as long as you keep this to yourself. They wouldn't want that for you."

"But what if I lose him?" I whispered with a choked sigh.

"Then at least he'll die knowing how you felt about him. After everything he's been through don't you think he deserves to know there's someone out there who loves him like you do?"

"Of course..."

Sarah's lips pulled upwards in a satisfied smirk, wrapping her arm around my shoulder and giving it a comforting squeeze, "then you owe it to yourself, and to him, to tell him the truth."

"Why do all you Wilson's have to be so clever?" I voiced in mock irritation, pushing her away from me and acting like I was annoyed she had gotten one up on me.

"I don't know," she thought aloud and with a cheeky grin, grabbing a plate to start piling on the long forgotten waffles, "I think it might be the sea air or something."

"Nah, it's in the genes," I chuckled quietly, grabbing my jacket and deciding it was time to get this conversation wrapped up. "I'll go find Sam and the boys for breakfast. Clear my head a little bit."

"You promise you're gonna tell him?" Sarah stopped me as I went to push the door open.

"I'll think about it."

3rd person POV

Once (Y/N) was out of ear shot, Sarah couldn't help but start jumping up and down in excitement, clapping her hands loudly as she did so. That went even better than she thought it would, and she was so proud of herself. Sarah Wilson could now add matchmaker to her resume.

"Coast is clear Barnes. You can open your eyes now."

(Y/N) had no idea what she had metaphorically walked into just minutes earlier, entering that very revealing conversation with her overly inquisitive host.

What drew Sarah to come down that morning was the sounds of both the front porch door opening and the smell of homemade waffles wafting up the stairs. As she entered the kitchen she was met with two sights. One being (Y/N), facing the counter and looking very smiley, the other being a wide awake super soldier who was just laying on the couch and staring at her, the sole object of his affection. Sarah could work with this.

Every time (Y/N) turned back in his direction, Bucky would close his eyes and pretend to be asleep again. He had never slept so soundly, so peacefully, thoughts of (Y/N) and his new friends filling his nightmare free dreams.

He'd initially woken to (Y/N) ushering the boys outside because she was afraid they would wake him up. He didn't want to disappoint her by proving her right. Besides, he liked just watching her move around the kitchen, completely unaware he was observing her the whole time. He had no idea about the conversation that was just about to happen.

After (Y/N) had left and Sarah had confirmed so, Bucky sat himself up, his body shaking with adrenaline and a look of complete shock fixed on his face. Had he definitely woken up, or had the whole thing been a part of his dream? Did (Y/N) seriously just admit that she was in love with him?

Bucky didn't know how to react, didn't know what to say as he looked up at a smug Sarah from his spot. All he'd ever wanted was for (Y/N) to feel the same way about him as he did about her. Now he knew that she did.

"You're welcome by the way."

[spencermyangel]

could I get a prompt where it's either Morgan or Hotch in a relationship with Spencer but bc Spencer was abused, has trouble speaking up, it's his first relationship ect he goes along with sex (no nsfw, just the convo/fallout) even though he isn't ready and his partner doesn't know until Spencer breaks down and admits it. Lots of h/c and resulting communication and fluff?

CW - Past Abuse

Throughout his life Spencer had never felt comfortable voicing his boundaries or feelings, he was taught from a young age by his father that he was to do as he was told. So, when he and Hotch started a relationship, he knew he couldn’t do anything to make Hotch upset. 

One day they were watching a movie together and throughout the night Hotch and Spencer had been getting more and more close and flirty. Hotch kissed Spencer’s neck and his hands drifted down to his belt. Spencer tensed at the feeling and his heart sped up. 

“Want to see you,” Hotch whispered in his ear. 

Spencer gulped as panic spread through him, he wasn’t ready. But what would Hotch do if he said no? Would he get angry with him? Spencer tried to calm himself, “okay,” he breathed out. His heart ached and his thoughts ran wild as he let Hotch take off his clothes. 

*

Hotch stared out his office window at his younger boyfriend. Spencer had been acting off the past few weeks. He seemed anxious when Hotch touched him, and he was wearing layers of clothing, which wasn’t too uncommon, but he seemed to always feel self conscious and exposed. Hotch decided he would discuss it with him when they returned home. 

“Spencer, we need to talk,” Hotch said as they entered their home. 

Spencer froze, “Um ok-okay,” he stammered, following Hotch to the living room as his thoughts ran wild. Did Hotch know he wasn’t ready? Was he angry at him for not wanting and enjoying it? 

“I’m worried about you,” Hotch started, looking into Spencer’s eyes with concern, “you’ve been acting upset the past few weeks. Did something happen?”  

Spencer shook his head but the worry and compassion on Hotch’s face made him let out a soft cry. 

“Spencer,” Hotch wrapped his arm around Spencer, frowning when he flinched. “Please tell me what’s wrong,” he begged. 

“I’m sorry,” Spencer sobbed, “please don’t be mad.” 

“Why would I be mad?” Hotch asked, his brows furrowed. 

Spencer sniffled and stared at his legs, “I wasn’t ready,” he finally admitted, his voice soft and sad. 

“Ready for what?” 

More tears streamed down Spencer’s face, “to have sex,” he choked out. 

Hotch’s eyes widened and he felt as though he had been punched in the gut, “Why didn’t you say anything?” 

This caused Spencer to look up at Hotch. He blinked back tears and mumbled, “I didn’t want to make you angry.” 

Hotch sighed, his heart breaking, “you could never make me angry by telling me you’re not comfortable with something. I don’t want us to do something you’re uncomfortable with, and I’m so sorry you felt like I would.” 

Spencer too in what Hotch said, “It wasn’t your fault. It’s just… my dad. He would always punish me if I told him I was uncomfortable with something.”

“I’m sorry,” Hotch told him, “I want you to know I need you to always tell me when you are uncomfortable with something, okay?”

“Okay,” Spencer whispered.

Send in asks and requests here

Masterlist

Reblogs, likes and comments are appreciated :)

[heir-less]

I don't know what Harry haters would say and I don't care about their opinion. But this isn't a bad video. It shows an angry dad protecting his kids. Besides when it comes to paparazzi and Di's boys people will always take the side of Di's boys. What really intrigues me is that he said he stayed 30 minutes. Where was their guards. Does that mean he was inside the estate. Is it so easy to get on Queen's property 🤔

It's not the Queen's property, though. It's a public road. While it is at Sandringham estate, there are lots of areas that are open to the public all year round and I haven't seen any reports saying that this was in a private area (and if he was, he should have been arrested and charged with something, not just asked to leave. You can’t just sneak onto royal property like that, that’s a crime). Again, I think William being annoyed or peeved on its own is fine, he can be suspicious too.

But him yelling at the man and following him while calling the cops after the guy was clearly leaving and had explained (or was trying to explain) that he wasn't stalking anyone, didn't take any pictures, and hadn't even known that they would be there is an overblown reaction at best and harassment at worst. Like, that man sounded terrified and he kept trying to explain himself and William didn't want to hear it. The convo would have been more productive and William probably would have felt safer if he had just asked the guy what he was doing calmly, had just ignored him, or made him leave on his own.

I don't like this "protecting" narrative that this story is taking on. Because what actual threat was that man to begin with? Like, be honest. The worst-case scenario is that this guy, a photographer, was hoping to spot the royals and take a picture of them. Which, yeah, that's annoying and there are elements of creepiness to that, but William cannot really prevent getting papped when he's with his family in public. That man wasn't doing anything illegal, either. Like, how much of a threat is this random dude on foot going to be to a family on bikes? Literally, just keep riding and then call security about it if you're so worried.

Even the Royal commentator that broke this story sympathizes with the damn photographer and highlights that William's temper is often over-powering and he relies on Kate to smooth over his "odd man mood". You can't be perfect all the time, he basically says. So if even this guy is willing to admit that William clearly over-reacted why can't you? Saying that William is distrustful of photographers and his desire to protect his kids sometimes leads him to act in ways that are needlessly hostile seems like an okay take to me. I personally find his behavior to be entitled and elitist on top of that, but that's just my opinion.

[bisexualnathanyoung]

I miss Nathan and Mel so I wrote a fun little phone convo between Kelly and Mel and kinda just a fun stress reliever writing so if you care about my little story lines or whatever, feel free to read :)

1.1k words, weird formatting.

I felt lonely… for the first time in my life, I felt lonely. That wasn’t like me. To feel lonely, you’d have to know what it was like to… I don’t know feel lonely from? I was an only child. If my mum wasn’t out ruining her own life, she was working. I didn’t know my dad until I was eight, and then he died. I had friends, but… y’know you have your mates at school and then you’d go home and read or draw or whatever you do and sit with yourself. In my new found adulthood, it was the same. I’d made friends with my coworkers and my fellow young offenders, but until Nathan, yknow, home is where you’re alone. Not lonely. Just alone. That’s just how things are.

But Nathan had been gone for almost three hours, and I was shitfaced and… lonely. I found my phone and called Kelly.

“Hello?” she answered, “are you alright?”

“Yeah. Yeah. Fine. It’s just Nathan isn’t home, and I’ve got nobody to talk to,” I responded as I stared at the ceiling while laying in my bed, smoking.

“Alright,” she said, “I’m not doin’ nothin’, what do you want to talk about?”

“Nathan,” I said with a giggle.

“What?” She responded.

“I wanna talk about Nathan cos cos…” I stuttered, “cos he’s a wanker and stupid, and I hate him.”

“You hate him?” She responded like she didn’t believe me.

“Yeah… yeah! I fuckin’ hate him!” I couldn’t tell if I was slurring my words or not.

“Did you two have a falling out or somethin’? What’s he done this time?” Kelly asked.

“He fuckin… fuckin’ stupid… fuckin’… he’s havin’ dinner with his mum. Unbelievable,” I responded. She laughed.

“What’s so funny?!” I said back.

“You hate him because he’s havin’ dinner with his mum?” She asked.

“Yes! He’s supposed to be with me!” I practically yelled.

“Why’s he supposed to be with you?” She was teasing me.

“Because he’s miiiiine,” I whined.

“So you made it official now?” She asked.

“Made what official?” I asked back.

“Nathan’s yours? Your boyfriend?” She answered.

“Gross! No!” I replied, “I don’t fuckin… I don’t have time for a boyfriend. Or a need. Or the patience. I’m over the whole having a dick and balls shoved into my face phase. And guys don’t fuckin’ settle for that anymore anyway everybody wants to fuck, and I’m not… I don’t… Nathan’s not my boyfriend!”

“But you know he wants to be,” she said.

“He doesn’t want to be my boyfriend. He jokes about wanting to have sex with me because he thinks it’s funny because… because I’m such a pathetic excuse for a girl he never would…” I started tearing up.

“That’s not true,” Kelly tried to assure me.

“Yes, it is!” I grabbed a pillow and held it close to me.

“His thoughts about you are very… loud.” She responded.

“What… what do you mean?” I asked.

“I… don’t want to elaborate,” she responded, “I try to block them out.”

“They’re that bad? Does he not like me?” I said softly.

“Oh, he likes you. A lot. His thoughts just… they certainly match the ones you have about him. And you know the ones I’m talkin about,” she said sternly.

“Oh…” I was silent for a moment, “yeah well he’s a guy whatever.”

“He’s a guy that fancies you though,” she responded, “I don’t have to know his thoughts to know that. He follows you around like a lost puppy. He’s always showing out to impress you.”

“He’s always showing out to annoy me, you mean,” I grumbled.

“But you like it,” she said.

“I like attention,” I admitted.

“I don’t understand why you don’t just go for it. Before he throws himself at someone else and gets himself into trouble… again,” she responded.

“It almost sounds like you care, Kel,” I giggled.

“Maybe I do, but I’m not the one lettin’ him sleep in my bed and runnin’ my fingers through his hair,” she almost sounded annoyed.

“I do not let him sleep in my bed,” I retorted.

“Right, right, sorry. You sleep in his bed,” she responded.

“How do you know that?!” I responded quickly.

“I know everythin’,” she teased, “… you really didn’t hear him loudly complainin’ about how you got drool on his pillow?”

I let out a whine, “we watch telly, and I get so tired at the end of the day, and I gave him my softest blanket that first day, and I really miss that blanket, and he’s so warm… it. It’s so warm… the blanket. The blanket’s warm. Not Nathan. His feet are stupidly cold,” I cleared my throat.

“Yeah, what about the rest of him?” Kelly responded.

“Stop trying to trick me!” I replied back.

“You’re the one that wanted to talk about him,” she reminded me.

“I wanted to complain about him!” I let out a huff.

“Complain about him spending time with his family instead of holding you under your soft blanket?” She said.

I groaned, “leave me alone.”

“You called me,” she sassed back.

I grumbled again, “my head hurts.”

“Maybe you should lie down or somethin,” she responded, “… on your side though.”

“Why?” I asked.

“Don’t want you to choke on your own vomit,” she answered.

“I am not drunk!” I replied, “I’m… upset. After everything I’ve done for him, he’d go back to that that devil woman.”

“You sound like your talking about an ex husband or some shit,” she responded.

I grumbled, “I hate him.”

I heard the front door shut and stumbled up to put out whatever I was smoking and head out of the room. Still holding my phone, I ran over to find Nathan setting a container down on the kitchen counter.

I threw my arms around him, “I missed you!”

He awkwardly pat my back, “I brought… um leftovers. Spaghetti bolognese.”

“Betrayal bolognese…” I muttered.

He took a step back to look at me, “what?.. Anyways, are you wearing my fucking hoodie again?”

“It’s cold,” I whined and pouted.

“It’s July!” he responded.

“It can be cold in July…” I said.

“Are you on the phone with someone?” He asked.

“I dunno… Am I?”

He took the phone from me.

“Stop doing that shit!” I yelled at him.

“Shh, I’m on the phone,” he said and put it up to his ear, “Hello?… yes… Kelly? Are you threatening me?… because I don’t know anyone else who talks like that… and Mel doesn’t have any friends… besides me and you and Facebook… oh he hardly counts… she’s definitely drunk, she’ll be up crying until 4am for sure… nah I’ll probably just meet her where she’s at and then after that it’s fair game… wouldn’t knocking my bollocks into my throat defeat the purpose? You’d just be helping me give myself a blowjob… hello? Hello?.. she hung up on me.”

He turned back to face me, “what’d you even say to her?”

I shrugged my shoulders.

“Alright, whatever,” he said and grabbed a beer from the fridge.

[buddiebeginz]

I just caught up to the current episode of 911. Jesus that ending 😭 I’m pretty sure I sat there and stared at the tv for a good five minutes afterwards in shock right along with Buck.

Okay get comfy because this is going to get long. I have a lot of thoughts on  why I think it’s more likely than ever that Buddie will become canon. I’ve seen a lot of fandom talking about why they feel the same and honestly it’s not surprising given the way that shooting scene played out. But I have some other thoughts I haven’t seen talked about yet too.

--

I’ve gone back and forth on whether or not I think Buddie will happen. I want them to get together in canon and I think the show should definitely make it happen and not just because us fans want it to happen either.

Since Eddie arrived the show has continually written Buck and Eddie in a way to say to the audience there’s more going on there. So I don’t think it’s some far fetched idea that so many of us ship them or want to see them end up together. I’ve shipped many characters who I knew were never going to get together in canon but Buddie has always felt different. It’s not just wishful thinking there’s a lot of substance there provided by the writers.

Still more recently I’d kind of lost hope that Buddie was ever going to happen. Throughout season 4 I’ve been wondering if the show was working on pulling Buck and Eddie in different directions. I figured maybe they were just tired of listening to the fans yell about Buddie. I figured it’s why we had been seeing a lot more of Taylor and Ana and why we rarely see Buck and Eddie and Chris spending time together the way we used to in season 3. It had actually been bumming me out a lot because I miss that dynamic in the show.

---

Last night’s episode changed my mind on that though and not just because of the shooting. I was worried at first when I saw that Carla was meeting Ana because I wondered where this was going. Like was the show trying to solidify Ana as a more substantial part of Eddie’s life now? Were they trying to show that she was important enough to start meeting more of the people in Eddie’s life? But I realized after watching that the whole reason Ana was even included in the episode was for Eddie and Carla to have the convo they did.

Eddie and Carla talk about Carla’s dad. Carla says that she was thankful she got to spend time with him (before he died) and she was sorry she left them (Eddie and Chris) Eddie says “you were where you were supposed to be”. When Eddie says that Carla gets this look on her face like she’s considering his words and thinking about the meaning and responds with a line of questioning that gets her to asking Eddie about Ana. Mainly I think because Carla is one of the people who knows Buck and Eddie better than anyone and when Eddie said to her “you were where you were supposed to be” she was likely thinking so how come you’re not where you’re supposed to be with Buck?

Eddie and Carla talk about Chris and how Eddie had been worried about him (after what happened to Shannon) and how happy he is to have Ana around.  Carla presses Eddie about how he feels about Ana and Eddie simply says “it’s easy being with her” (aka he doesn’t have to be emotionally invested). Carla responds and says she’s glad Eddie is moving on but most importantly she tells him “just be sure that you’re following your heart and not Christopher’s”. 

The show easily could have framed this whole scene in a different way if they were planning on making Ana and Eddie into a more significant thing. Eddie could have responded and said he was following his heart being with Ana. The show could have shown Eddie watching Ana and Christopher with a sense of ease and love on his face instead he clearly looked like he was thinking about what Carla said and it was obvious he’d been running from the fact he was only with Ana for Christopher.

----

The other thing that made me feel like Buddie is much more of a certainty and the main thing I wanted to write this for since I haven’t seen anyone else really talking about it is what’s going on with the other couples and how that correlates with Buddie.

911 is obviously an ensemble show so some characters and ships will inevitably get more attention than others still there’s usually some that are the consistent main. For example Hen and Karen they’re a great couple but I wouldn’t necessarily call them a main couple of the show. To me the central canon couple of 911 is Athena and Bobby and second to them I think would be Chim and Maddie at least in season 4 where they’ve had a lot of focus given the baby storyline.

I think we’re headed towards both of these couples being on the rocks. Clearly Athena and Bobby are about to go through some stuff. I’m hoping Bobby doesn’t die but no matter what their marriage is in trouble at this moment. As for Maddie and Chim I think it’s likely that they’re headed for a postpartum depression storyline so that will probably spell some trouble for them too.

My point in all of this is if you watch the ending of the recent episode right after the argument between Athena and Bobby we saw the shooting with Buck and Eddie. In the promo for the next episode the majority of what we see is Buck and Eddie juxtaposed with what’s going on with Athena and Bobby and Chim and Maddie.

TV shows particularly drama ones like 911 ebb and flow and there’s usually some kind of balance. If you have one or more of your main couples in the middle of the worst times chances are you’ll see other couples in the best times. So while Athena and Bobby might be unraveling which hopefully is just temporary) in the midst of this shooting Buddie might be coming together or at least closer to getting there. More on that below. 👇

----

I don’t necessarily think that Buddie will just magically get together in the last episode of season 4. Part of me doesn’t even want that to happen. I think it makes much more sense for things with Buddie to happen gradually. Besides which nothing in tv ever wraps up that neat and tidy anyway. Shows like 911 thrive on drama so if Buddie is going to happen there has to be conflict involved before they get to that point.

My guess is that this shooting will push one of them to recognize their feelings for the other and he’ll want to tell the other one but something will stop him. I think it could be Buck. Like maybe while Eddie is recovering Buck talks to Taylor and finally realizes/admits his feelings for Eddie, to which she says something snarky like she knew that already. She pushes him to go tell Eddie the truth but when Buck goes to the hospital he ends up seeing Ana there and decides not to tell him. Maybe in season 5 we have to watch Buck figuring out his sexuality and dealing with his feelings for Eddie while seeing Eddie with someone else.

911 could also surprise us and it could be Eddie who realizes his feelings for Buck. We had that scene with Carla and Eddie and it’s clear that Eddie is only with Ana for Christopher. We had Carla telling Eddie to follow his heart. When you look at the symbolism of what happened during the shooting Eddie’s blood ended up all over Buck which is like a trail to this heart (albeit a morbid one) not to mention Eddie reached out for Buck when he was on the ground. So Eddie could wake up and realize the truth about his feelings for Buck and want to tell him but be afraid to loose his best friend. Or maybe Eddie is afraid to change anything now that Christopher seems happy again finally.

There could also just be a scene with them in the hospital or maybe Buck comes to stay with Eddie and Christopher to help take care of Eddie and and  it’s clear the atmosphere has changed between them. Like we don’t get anything super serious yet but there’s something more there and they both feel it but aren’t acting on it yet. Maybe Buck tells Eddie how he felt when he saw him get shot maybe Eddie tells him he reached for him. Maybe they both realize they couldn’t bare to loose the other.

Everything that’s happened thus far with Buck and Eddie feels like it’s leading towards something. It definitely feels like something is going to change with them heading into season 5. I feel like they’re going to leave us on some kind of cliffhanger and then drag out whatever happens next season. Which makes sense as it incentives more people to watch. But I’m more optimistic than ever that Buddie will happen now.

---

I do agree with what others have said that there’s no place really for the writers to go now than to put Buck and Eddie together even if it doesn’t happen immediately. The shooting scene was completely framed like Buck watched the man he loved get shot and they were even wearing complimenting colors which is something I’ve seen done often in movies and tv for lovers. They were staring at each other and reaching out. I mean how do you explain that if it doesn’t lead anywhere?

Not to mention the whole thing was done in slow motion and the scene didn’t focus on anyone else besides Eddie and Buck for a few minutes. It even had an almost a freeze frame with the two staring at each other across the street and since there was blood and the ambulance the whole scene was lit up bright red. And apart from everything else red is pretty much universally known as the color for love.

One other thing I forgot to add was that the convo with Eddie and Carla happened in an episode called Suspicion where people are keeping things from the people they love. The mother keeping things from her bridezilla daughter, Bobby and Athena keeping things from each other, Maddie keeping her depression from Chimney, Hen’s mom keeping how sick she was from Hen.

Why would 911 choose this episode in particular to feature all this important Buddie stuff? That important convo with Carla and Eddie where Carla basically tells Eddie she knows he’s not following his heart. That crazy intense moment with the shooting where Buck and Eddie are just staring at each other like soulmates having to watch the person they love die.

Maybe because both Buck and Eddie have things they’re hiding? Things they’re hiding from themselves and things they’re keeping from the person they love the most. Each other.