#but i wasnt fully into the mcu again

[icedgarlic]

my old mcu fan self returning home from the war

[voidsuites]

RAHHHHH I LOVE YOU MORE

i wasnt even gonna come on here rn bc there’s no way i’m fully coherent but then i did and i saw that u WERE WONDERING WHERE I WAS????? ooh girl i’m about to cry so i gotta change the subject-

my friend and i only had single park tickets but i fear im too much of a dca slut we had to add on a park hopper because WHEW. like not to geek out this late but avengers campus opening was one of the greatest things to ever happen she says as she lays down in her new stark industries sweatshirt like ugh. i’m lowk such a spiderman girl.

anyways ugh i’m jelly of ur princess and the frog ears i THOUGHT the ride was open this month but i guess it’s november and i was so sad like that’s been one of my absolute favorite movies since it came out god it makes me sob every time (dig a little deeper is the song of all time)

back to art… imagine his face when you finally say you’ll go with him to make a lightsaber. his face lighting up as he picks out each little detail god i love seeing people’s inner child shine through it’s so beautiful

i fear i need to stop right here or ill start talking about the human experience and the multitudes of joy we’re bound to witness and feel every single day and yada yada yada should’ve applied as a philosophy major

goodnight lovey ugh us rambling back and forth makes me so happy

- 🧸

no yeah bc i think about all of you all the time. you’re all my little friends in my phone and i do miss you when you dip off the face of the earth for a sec. like 🍿 anon was missing for a bit and i was like omg where are they but they’ve been popping in again (lol hi pookie <3) but yeah i love you all sm and i love yapping with you guys <333333

i usually when i go to disney we just do one-park and disney bc 1) it’s so fucking expensive now for a park-hopper and 2) i personally think it’s easier to spend the whole day at just disney than just DCA but i LOVE DCA sm. stepping into avengers campus in 2021 for the first time was life-changing like i got chills 😭 also their shawarma? so yum considering it’s disneyland. but yeah i’m a spidey girl + nat girl + steve girl + t’challa girl + literally everyone bc i watched marvel stuff all the time as a kid (i really need to catch up on mcu stuff thunderbolts looks so so good. bucky… yelena…)

plus my other friend who works attractions at disney is going to work on the princess and the frog ride (she worked splash before it shut down) and she’s SO excited so i am too. i think i got my ears last nov in the newer shops towards the back of new orleans square but yeah seeing that movie in 2009 and feeling so seen/represented at like age 6 was crazy. that was my encanto fr. coLOMbiAAaaA… mi encanto… mi encanto

omg art would geek tf out building a lightsaber you know his ass would be taking everything seriously. i would like 2 see it.

AND OMG LOVE YOU TOO. talking with all of you is so much fun whether or not you’re anon i just love hearing about other people’s days n stuff. so glad u had a blast but i am still mad jealous LMAO 😭 love u

[basslinegrave]

no i think i remember.

i read a ton of criticism about marvel as a whole, which i wholeheartedly agreed with, with the way they treated loki and how unfortunate his story in the mcu was. also disliked taika (still do. just something about this guy...) i vaguely remember some talk about how they made this show only to set up TVA, which i also partially agree with, and while im not up to date with all new marvel movies (and i couldnt give two shits) iirc it wasnt used at least not until this year, idk whats coming out now and if they deal with that or not. i only saw those posts about the og avengers making a comeback so im wondering if this is the connection thats gonna happen?

but as for the whole thing, i remember there was a lot of stuff about the mcu and how poorly they handle loki, how they blame him for things and make him evil when he was literally under thanos' control at the start. yes hes a trickster, yeah hes not entirely good, but hes not the monster they keep painting him as. i also only watched movies only for him (except for gotg as i like them too) so killing him off was lame but i prefer him dead than misused. i honestly loved thor ragnarok because of the teamups and all but looking back its just not the greatest movie (it took several watches to realize that ive had enough of that fucking movie) but even though he was treated extremely pathetically i enjoyed it. but thats where i saw the main critique, about how taika decided to make him an useless prop and stuff like that, i cant confirm or fact check that but it was a whole thing about how he treats tom in general, again idk if true but it did open my eyes and showed me how poorly lokis character is treated.

then came the show and i liked it at first cause yay! loki! yippee! and he has a boyfriend yippe!! but then again i realized he, being in a show literally Named After Him, he was just being useless in the background and then completely controlled. thats why its hard for me to look past that again and just try to enjoy s2 and the shipping (cause that might be the only thing worthwhile) i just dont know what to think of it. and im saying that as a person that has liked slightly "problematic" ships (and just look at my otp being ganling) its the uneven control/upper hand in the relationship i guess? its why i stopped shipping 2/doc too cause thats just a mess, but a nice example is stobotnik where stone is seemingly weaker and being controlled, its possible to even it out by a different kind of dominance (iykyk) plus he is shown as capable to kill etc. and obviously very much happy in his position. with ganling theres also a difference but its being downplayed in the source material and thats why i allowed myself to dig deeper and see more of the relationship, so while it might seem unfair, its pretty even there. but here with lok1us with loki being entirely stripped of power and mobius very possibly just manipulating him (dont take this fully seriously as i dont remember much of s1!) its just hard to take it as oh they like each other :33 yeah idk man. and no i dont think they will make them a couple, youre watching disney ffs

hnnngggggg people are posting things online that are making me want to give loki a chance

[critical-critiques]

okay so here's my Loki show opinion.(shortened down to main points)

I'm making this short but if you want more detail just ask.

I love MCU Loki, absolutely love him. But this show wasn't it. Don't get me wrong there were great moments but having a few good scenes doesn't take away from the fact that it was rushed confusing and unbelievably out of character.

let's go into those for a second

- Rushed : Six episodes were just not enough for the plot, massive character changes would happen and be moved on from in minutes, entire plot points dropped and not mentioned again. So many questions were left unanswered ( I've heard people say it was meant to be twelve eps but it was split due to Covid which is great, glad to see guidelines being followed however then say that, tell the audience that it's going to all be a continued plot line or just wait and release it all once it's ready.) It was hard to pay attention when you didn't know what would be important and what wouldn't be.

-Confusing : Okay so taking the last line from above, it was hard to follow. the plot just wasn't clear, it would jump from predictable to just ridiculous. It was filled with cliches and random fan service, it didn't feel fully fleshed out. Where it made sense it would be great and fluid and very clear but where it wasnt, it was just a mess.

-Out of character : this feeds into rushed, there wasn't time for the amount of character development needed, to take place in a natural manner. What happened to angry betrayed upset Loki, snatched from your timeline without warning forced into a world you don't understand but only a bit later your entire outlook changes to excited puppy can't wait to help you all. It just doesn't make sense not to mention how quick Sylvie went from I trust no one and want to kill you to cuddling up with Loki and trusting him. I'm not saying these changes couldn't happen but they don't happen in hours. Your entire life views dont realistically change in a few moments.

The acting was great in my humble opinion. the scenes were beautiful to look at. everyone on set did an amazing job and no amount of issues in the plot will take that away. Even the writers did a great job most of the time and I'm so proud of everyone working on this project who fought to get a coming out scene. the issues have really clouded over most peoples views and I really wish they hadn't. this show as much as it deserves some criticism it also deserves it's praise , credit were credits due. I hope that with season 2 these issues are cleared up and we can finally get a good ending to this show and I truly hope the issues I mentioned and others have mentioned were simply due to the split of episodes and not the writing .

that's the end of my little ramble feel free to comment and as always my inboxs open and discussion is encouraged.

[moontours]

what are some major differences between mcu and comic Natasha?

the most major differences between them i think is probably their experiences and their personalities and also the fact that comic natasha has had writers who actually care about her development and worked to move her forward while mcu natasha hasnt had a single writer that actually cares abt her as a character, more of just ur token female character jhrbjhasbjda but anyways i think something that rly sets them apart is the fact that comic natasha was born in the 20s while mcu natasha was born in the 80s so obviously comic nat has lived through a LOT more than mcu nat has and shes seen a lot more and has come to terms with a lot more than mcu nat has like mcu nat is pretty much still a baby if u compare her to comic nat. and idk i feel like comic nat’s life experiences have changed her like shes fought in several wars on different sides, has been the villain, the hero, the socialite, the in between and has fully come to accept herself for who she is, skillset and all while mcu nat is ashamed of her past, thinks she needs to atone and like ... kinda just shies away from who she is as a character?? like i rmbr in one of the bw trailers YELENA of all people had to remind natasha that she’s a killer while comic nat has always known what she is and she is very proud of who she is (again, skillset and all) like theres such a stark difference between mcu nat being told “you are fooling yourself. we are still both trained killers” while comic nat is literally like “killing people is easy making them suffer is an art” and obviously this has a lot to do with disney’s audiences and their idea of “morals” and whatever like obviously theyre gonna frown upon murder and stuff bc like. yeah. but it makes mcu nat so much less complex and i hate how she always thinks that she has to be something more than a trained killer as if she cant take that skillset and use it for good instead jrhbjasbdjajh and also i do think there’s a HUGE different between comic nat and mcu nat and the way they view living like mcu nat thought she had to die bc of her past and that this was the way to go blah blah blah but comic nat WILL not die on anyone’s terms but her own and she even explicitly says that no matter what she’s done in her past and no matter who she has hurt she will not die just bc they think she should like. she LOVES living and life so much and again this definitely has to do with the fact that comic nat has lived a lot longer than mcu nat has so shes had time to contemplate everything. also the last point ill make is that as a character comic nat has a lot more agency and individuality than mcu nat imo like yeah theyre both fictional characters so ofc everything they do IS dictated by whoever is writing them but mcu nat has always been written as like. an accessory for the characters around her, especially men. like steve, bruce, etc and its really annoying to watch whereas comic nat doesnt compromise herself for any relationship ever like when she was in sf with matt and they were in a partnership/relationship except she felt like she wasnt being treated as his equal so she left bc she felt like she was losing so much of herself. and in the mcu i feel like nat is very much treated unequally to those she works with but she never complains abt it bc. well shes their token female charaacter who does their emotional labour so lmao rjbjsbdhj

tldr; comic nat has a richer, more complex history than mcu nat does which allowed her to grow more as a character who is confident in herself and what she does. mcu nat has suffered from being under writers who dont know her or care about he character which is why she is always treated as a supporting character for other characters even tho she should be her own main character

[lonelyghosts-stuff]

Avengers Infinity War-First Time Watching Reaction Play-by-Play (Pt. 2)

Part 1

I wonder how many people Gamora has killed? What made her finally snap to not serve Thanos anymore?

How DID Gamora find it? Like, who told her?

How did Thanos capture nebula?

Poor nebula. She’s literally been through hell and back.

Ohhhh she snuck on board...

Thanos you suck so much. You favor one daughter over another.

Oh. Where was said map to the soul stone?

Gosh I feel so damn bad for nebula. She was raised as his daughter too but he tortured her and tore her apart. Nebula never had the chance to be her equal. She deserves so much.

Taught groot as an elective? What about all speak?

Buckle up rocket. It’s gonna get emotional.

Thor is literally all alone. He needs a time to sit alone and cry and break a whole building.

Rocket and Thor friends? Please

1500 years old? Jane, honey, you escaped.

Gotta give it up to Hemsworth’s acting chops here. Especially talking to nobody in reality. Just a bunch of cgi

Ew ew ew eye socket

Should have washed that yikes

Snuck it out by hiding it up your? Huh? You watch too many movies rocket.

Huge title card. Thank you. I wouldn’t have known where we were despite them saying their location many times.

How is that video game battery not dead?

Perceptive rabbit

I LOVE that they used a dwarf to play a giant character!!! This is brilliant! (And that dwarves are giant for some reason lol.)

Soooo again Thanos killed everyone EXCEPT Eitri despite his “morality” supposedly being balance

Poor hands

Poor nebula

Smart nebula

Maybe should have waited to be fixed fully first

Ah crap. SOMEONE PICK UP THE SPACE PHONE

MANTIS

Love how Stark asks for peters help in steering and not Stephen lmao

Nice parking job

Peter, stop popping pop culture refs

Lmao ITS ABOUT TO BE THE ICONIC SCENE

YES PLEASE

Blanket of Death. Capey has a new nickname.

Where’s Gamora

Who’s Gamora

Why is Gamora

What master do you serve?

Jesus?

I mean, yea I do. So does Pratt lmaoo.

LMAO PARKER’S FACE WHEN QUILL SAID THOR WASNT HANDSOME

Storm breaker time baby

“In theory it could summon the bifrost” who theorized this? How do you only theorize and not know?

Oh my gosh mantis is just bouncing around

Mr. Clean lmao

Kick names, take ass

Hey now, these guys saved the galaxy and universe from Ego so lmao

Oh no I know the scene coming up

Poor quill lmao

“I’m half human. So the 50% of me that’s stupid, that’s 100% of you.” “Your math is, blowing my mind.” What’s funny is that Quill’s math was actually completely accurate lol

Stephen having a stroke or a seizure? You good homie?

Soooo if Strange looked to the future and so possible outcomes, what does that mean for the TVA? According to them, there’s ONE sacred timeline, so all other branches are erased (which again messes up what smart hulk eventually says in end game. See kids, this is why you don’t mess with time travel in stories. There’s no way to go back in time without creating a time loop). Ehhhhh I’ll let it slide. Just ignore it... sigh... I can’t help it if I’ve studied paradoxes

Hmmmm not good odds I’ve gotta say...

Watch like, outside of the millions of realities that strange saw, there were like a million or billion more he missed where they won with no casualties lol

Hey Red Skull. Long time no see. How did he get here anyways and why?

Yea you’re prepared all right...

Gotta say, Lord Elrond has seen better days

I’m not ready to say good bye to this Gamora. Gamora and Loki and Nat go down as my favorite characters, gotta say. I know that Tony does and it’s sad, but his feels more satisfying because his sacrifice directly results in them winning. Loki is murdered. Gamora is murdered. Nat died just for a stepping stone for the avengers. She has no idea whether or not they will actually win in the end.

I’m hopeful they may bring Nat back like in the comics, red room clone style.

We got back vision, Loki (kinda), variant Gamora, a new captain America, why not Nat? Yea we have a prequel, but gosh I love her so much.

“You must lose that which you love.” Couldn’t that apply to like an object or something? Could I not throw my Nintendo switch over the cliff? Or my dog? (I would hate that just as much as a person, don’t get me wrong, I’m just curious about the rules)

Yea boohoo sad for Thanos... loses his favorite daughter. I don’t care about him. He deserves suffering.

Poor Gamora doesn’t think he’s willing to do it.. GIRL RUN!!!

Thanos deserves all the suffering.

He does love you Gamora... but that love... it’s selfish. It’s blind... Thanos seems to be a chaotic vigilante who is narrowminded, tunnel vision on his goal with no regards of the cost. But he is evil. If there is ever an alternate route to an end that doesn’t result in the loss of innocent lives, and you know that but you willingly choose the once that costs innocent lives, that is an evil decision. Maybe Thanos isn’t evil, but he’s not good. Far from it. He’s obsessed with this idyllic Utopia but he rushes to one method of getting there. Yes, people suffer. It sucks... it’s unfair... it’s horrible. But it is never the right of someone else to dictate whether or not said person would be better off dead. Who lives, who dies. If Thanos truly was neutral and not selfish, he would have thrown his own life into the mix of the potential 50/50 snap. Thanos is not good. He’s not misunderstood. He’s a murderer. A genocidal cult leader. I have no tears for him. Only for those who suffered more at his hands.

Rant over, time to try not to cry about Gamora...

Her face of realization

Gamora run please

Thanos, I hate you. (Great character her, but not a good person)

Poor Gamora

Oh my gosh the emotion here is great but I’ve heard this sound used as a meme on TikTok too many times aghhhh

Gamora!

What a way to die

I’m crying again. I miss her already...

Who the hell designed this place and put the stone here???? Who did this?

Cry Thanos. Suffer. My only comfort here is that you are sad. You deserve suffering. You really do...

The TVA is laughing here and I’m not okay..

Poor Peter Quill... he’s also lost a lot like Thor, but has had the “luck” of not knowing his family too close.

Wakanda babyyyy

No, you don’t want Starbucks, you want Dutch bros

Lmao I love rhodey. Poor Bruce.

BUCKY BUCKY BUCKY

HUG

NO CMON HAVE A LONG HUG

MALE FRIENDSHIPS ARE SO IMPORTANT.

Yea Shuri show em up.

Okay quick pause, I love love LOVE how Shuri is smarter. It’s a powerful moment for females BUT it’s not done in a way that’s condescending to males! It’s not saying women power because men bad, she’s just good! (And she has had access to technology they never could have but I digress). More of this please Hollywood. Don’t let being a female be the power. I don’t want strong female characters, I want strong characters who happen to be female. Ones who hold their own, have faults like anyone else, struggle, have weaknesses and strengths, but are strong without putting down others. Just a comment, just because a woman character may not be as strong as a man character, that is not saying she’s weak. If you’re the second strongest human in the world, you are NOT weak. You’re just not as strong as the strongest human ever, but that’s nothing against you. LET WOMEN STAND ON THEIR OWN MERITS WITHOUT SEX AFFECTING THEM!

Anyways

I love Shuri

I wish they had more time. She definitely could have done it. But stupid Thanos

Ughhhghhg

I know what many scenes are upcoming... with quill and peter and vision and everyone else

Let👏🏻Bucky👏🏻Have👏🏻Peace👏🏻

Thank you Nat!!! I love that Nat is so protective and selfless.

GET THIS MAN A SHIELD

Bucky needs love please. He’s my stand in, manipulated, greasy, long haired, dark and mysterious, stabby boy. (Also I need Bucky and Loki to meet. But let Loki finish his show (and come out of it alive because if he doesn’t I will sue) and be the antihero hero we need. Please. If he doesn’t get reintroduced into the mcu as a hero I will sue.

Thor, sweetie, are you a masochist?

Back to wakanda

Oh no, bad CGI, floating head Bruce banner. I’ll let it slide... sigh....

Can’t like, you just rain bombs on them forever?

JIBARI TRIBE YEA BOYYYYY

Sorry Proxima Midnight, you look like a frog and your name sounds like a middle schooler’s OC.

How nice. Diplomatic meeting.

“Thanos will have nothing but dust and blood.” Reeeeeeally wish you didn’t say that, T’Challa...

Yay big CGI battle commence! It’s like a really expensive animated cartoon at this point

WAKANDA FOREVER!

Poor Bucky. Forgot this dude doesn’t know much about the modern world.

Ahhhh Kamikazi aliens

I just wanna say that I love that Wakanda still has the artistic culture in their clothing and tradition all the while having badass, super advanced technology.

Why can’t they just rain bombs down the whole fight lol. Rhodey has those super nice bombs, like, do that they he whole time? Please? Why do you not have a barrier around the entire king.

No M’Baku, it’s not the end of wakanda. But half of all life, yea

WAKANDA FOREVER YEAAAAAAA

They should honesty all have nano tech suits like black panther lol. Or iron man suits. Fine maybe the most powerful one with the best quality material for the king, but besides that, yknow.

Wow Steve is hot with a beard.

So much happening at once. Thor, Wakanda, Vormir, Knowhere, am I missing anything?

Okay, but what IS the full force of a star? Like in Newton’s or something? Juls? Is it heat?

What’s this metal? How does it fare with vibranium?

Get off your wooden butt, groot.

“He needs the axe” are you Thor, the god of axes?

Soooo, I thought Thor didn’t NEED the hammer, it just helped him concentrate his powers or act as a conduit. Is that retconned already?

Cmon groot, put down your game. Soooo, is Groot worthy? He technically lifted it. Or is it a technicality because it wasn’t fully finished yet?

Cmon bucky, use that fancy arm of yours.

Wow they’re getting destroyed.

They need wanda to help.

BADASS ENTRANCE BABYYYY

How did Thor know to come to wakanda?

Floaty head Bruce

“BRING ME THANOS!”

Ahhhhhahahaha yeaaaaaa

Cry Thanos. Do it. I hate you.

Much more of a purple grape nutsack.

Oh gosh... I know what Peter Quill is going to do. I still don’t hate him.

“With all six stone I would simply snap my fingers. They would all cease to exist.” Orrrr, now hear me out, I know I sound like a broken record now but... MAYBE DOUBLE THE RESOURCES INSTEAD?? That’s not mercy. That’s not up to you to decide whether or not someone’s better off dead.

Smoosh

Yea quill has experience with the power stone

AIM FOR THE HEAD

Cmon it’s basic zombie tactics

I love peter quill lmao

Go capey!!!

Magic with a kick!

Poor Peter

CAPEY NOOOOOO

Wow he’s OP

Ouch quill just got majorly clotheslined

NEBULA

“Where’s Gamora?” 😭😭😭 SHE CARES AGHHHH

Restrain him! Work it mantis!!!

Why even remove the gauntlet, just slit his throat... kill him....

Quill no... stop being cocky...

Oh no

Quill please don’t

JUST SLIT THANOS’ THROAT

Quill please....

Poor quill. Just lost the person who really really loved him

Okay, I still love star lord. Idc what others think. He reacted realistically. If you hate peter quill for how he reacted, you better also hate Tony Stark for how he reacted to bucky when he learned bucky killed his parents despite knowing for a fact that bucky was brainwashed. Yes it was annoying... yes they were so close, but quill is so human here. I don’t hate him. He gets too much hate for acting like any normal person would have. Distraught, grief filled, he lost his love. Someone who helped him open up and finally move on from his mother’s death and fathers villainy.

Spider man saving mantis gives me life

How did that power stone blast not kill them?

Clearly Thanos has played Majora’s Mask. At least he has good taste.

So close vision.... but I know... I know what happens.

YES BUCKY AND ROCKET GUN CIRCLE.

Lmao give rocket Bucky’s old arm.

“I am Groot.” “I am Steve Rogers.” Comedy gold

Cmon Thor, go after the big one first.

Cmon wanda, save them. We need some scarlet witch magic up here to stop these

Okay that was so cool. AND THEN SHE USED THE BLADES

Oh no but now Shuri is alone

So close yet so far.... Dangit... vision was almost good

Ouch. Bonk to the head

YEA BLACK WIDOW

BADASS TIME

AND OKOYE!!

LETS GOOOOOOO

BADASS WOMEN

Ouch poor vision

Cmon Thor back up vision

Please

Hulk is in his feels

Cmon hulk grow up

Ooooh smart move banner

Aaaaand he’s gone

Giant blade look oit

Corvus, screw off.

YEA STEVE

WHERE IS THOR WHEN YOU NEED HIM

CMON NAT

Oh dang. Nice one wanda. But also, sheesh. Helluva way to go. But no big.

Yea vision. Stabby time.

Now vision and Steve, kiss.

Spider man saving everyone’s lives.

YEA STRANGE

Where was this in New York???

MULTIPLYING

WHY DIDNT YOU DO THIS IN THE FIRST PLACE????

Oh no

Well then... ouch. Soooo where’s the real stone???

Hey look Tony, you have a fan.

Okay I’m just pissed odd they didn’t just kill Thanos when they had him subdued. Like, worry about the glove AFTER he’s not longer a threat

Oof

Tony is taking a beating

HE WAS STABBED

WHAT

I don’t want your respect Thanos. That’s an insult.

They will remember him. They will remember him Thanos. When he kills you.

DOCTOR STRANGE WHAT?

You really doing this??? I guess he knows what needs to unfold for them to win... dang. I wouldn’t trust him tho.

Peter Quill in berserker mode

Where’d he go?

Name dropping the second movie

Strange knows everything about to go down. Who dies, who lives, what Thanos is about to do... he’s accepting his soon dusted demise because Stark needs to live...

AIM FOR THE HEAD UGHHHHH

Stop teleporting. That’s Loki’s gimmick.

KILL THIS RAISIN LOOKING NUTSACK UGH

Homie way too OP

Poor wanda and Vis...

HER LIP TREMBLE

PHENOMENAL ACTING

SAY I LOVE YOU

I JUST FEEL YOU

AGGHHHH IM CRYING AGAIN

Poor wanda. To have to kill her love... this.. this is a sacrifice Thanos... not your murder....

Wow Steve is holding back Thanos with pure brute

WANDA IS SO STRONG

HOLDING BACK THANOS WHILE SIMULTANEOUSLY BREAKING THE MIND STONE

I LOVE YOU

AGHHHHHHHHH

And I know what happens next...

Poor wanda

Piss off thanos you understand nothing

You lost more than she could know? Bull crap. You are causing everyone to lose...

Cruel reality. Wanda has to see him die twice. RIP Vision

RIP half of all life...

AIM FOR THE DAMN HEAD

IF THOR KILLED HIM THEY COULD HAVE USED THE GAUNTLET TO BRING EVERYONE BACK TO LIFE. USED THE TIME STONE TO REVIVE THEM ALL.

How did that not kill Thanos tho. It may not have been a head shot but still.

Lil Gamora

What is this place?

Is this the soul realm?

Thanos, I hope you suffer forever. You deserve all the pain...

Rest In Peace: Vision, Loki, Bucky, T’Challa, Groot, Wanda Maximoff, Sam Wilson, Mantis, Drax, Peter Quill, Dr. Strange, Peter Parker (I don’t feel so good), and everyone else...

Thank you Nebula.

Thanos, you do NOT deserve to retire peacefully—wipe that smile off of your face

Oop, Rest In Peace Maria Hill and Nick Fury too... Motherfu— (so close Sammy boy...)

Yea Thanos you didn’t really think that through. Much more than half will died since other people rely on other peoples lives

Good thing he hit that button last minute huh? I wonder how captain marvel would fare in the TVA? are her powers considered magic? I mean, she clearly doesn’t know everything since she only just learned about Thanos (which is funny because she was supposedly traversing the universe to protect people)

Welp... onto movie two!

[withallthingslove]

avengers endgame spoiler-filled review

below the cut bc spoilers obviously

even after two viewings this movie is super overwhelming so I’m just gonna jump right in

- clint’s family disappearing was so haunting and traumatic omg

- i didn’t like the music choice over the marvel opening crawl

- nebula was so adorably intense when tony playing footbal with her

- carol is such a bad bitch she just carried an entire fucking ship through space

- steve running up to tony and holding on to him... that was content I didn’t know I needed

- the pepperony hug ughhh I’m not a huge gwenyth paltrow fan but she was so good as pepper in this

- honestly I get tony has been through a lot but he was such a dick back at the avengers compound. I’ve always preferred steve to tony and that scene really displayed why. Yes tony was right something bigger was coming, but his way of going about preventing it was proven wrong both times. I don’t consider ultron to be super canon because joss whedon sucks but tony’s first idea to try and solve it failed, and then the accords also failed and even rhodey regretted it. Infinity war was basically “hey yeah the accords was dumb af and steve was right and now the avengers are scattered.” Both tony and steve were selfish and made mistakes in civil war but the fact that it had been over three years and tony was still soooo angry with steve and holding a grudge just rubbed me the wrong way.

- I really felt for thor when they went to get thanos. Chris hemsworth’s acting in that scene was so good when he realized they had failed

- again who on earth put steve in charge of a support group. And while yes its nice to have some lgbtq representation marvel is way behind on that so to me it did not feel like enough

- paul rudd did so well in this movie and scott is such a good dad ugh

- 10/10 would die for morgan stark. She is soooo cute and it was hilarious when she was like “mom told me to come rescue you”

- i know a lot of people are mad at tony dying bc he could have “retired” but that scene with his daughter before steve, nat, and scott show up shows he could not. He still had a garage where he built iron man suits and suits for pepper. That’s not what someone does when they are out of a fight. That’s why he fell back into it so fast because he never left it. He was still tinkering and preparing and even when he retired he was still fully ready to go back

- i like professor hulk but at the same time i miss bruce

- tony and steve love each other so much it made me so happy when tony showed up at the compound. they’ve had their differences but there is real love there

- speaking of real love I will still never forgive joss whedon for taking clintasha away from us like yes their platonic friendship is great but UGH. They love each other SOOOOOOO much 

- tom hiddleston as loki always steals the show and i miss him so much. I was convinced he wasnt dead so I’m sad that he was still dead in the current timeline. But maybe since there is now an alternate dimension with loki and the tesseract he will show up again

- him impersonating steve, his side eye, just... *chefs kiss*

- the america’s ass comment... amazing, iconic, beautiful. And then steve’s “yeah I know” comment to his 2012 self. I’m so glad the russos let steve be funny

- I love how much winter soldier played into this one especially since it was the russo’s first mcu movie. The elevator scene... steve outsmarting the hydra agents. Secretary pierce showing up... and then steve fighting his past self was just *chefs kiss* again. The fact that he knows his own weakness is bucky and uses it against himself 

- not excited to see tilda swinton’s character because its just a reminder of marvel’s whitewashing but I appreciated it trying to explain the timeline/dimension stuff

- i also loved that at the army compound tony was able to get closure with his dad, something he deserved for a long time. I think that was another hint he was going to die because his arc was completing while steve’s.... the look on steve’s face when he saw peggy just broke me. absolutely broke me. Steggy was my first ship in the mcu and so steve and peggy hold a special place in my heart. The fact she still keeps the picture of tiny steve after all these years (a reference to agent carter)... they both moved on enough to enjoy life but never truly moved on enough to leave the other behind. And so while tony was getting closure, steve was being reminded of what he wanted most and couldn’t have. I also loved the tie in with agent carter and showing Jarvis this movie was truly a fan service to us all

- okay so rhodey/nebula: so ive never been a huge nebula person but i really liked her in this movie. I loved rhodey’s line about “you work with what you got” as far as their disabilities. I felt so bad for new nebula because old nebula SUCKKSSS and I hate she had to face her. I loved that in this movie thanos was wearing his armor because 2014 thanos was not as strong or secure with himself. His energy was SO different compared to the thanos we saw in infinity war so props to josh brolin

- natasha/clint: Well go ahead and rip my heart out. The audience knows only one of them is coming back but they have no idea. And they love each other SO FUCKING MUCH they both tried to sacrifice themselves to save the other person. That is true love. Jeremy renner is such an underrated actor and his reaction to natasha dying just killed me. But so did scarlett johansson’s acting as much as I hate to admit it because I’ve really stopped liking her as much due to her recent acting choices but she played that scene so well. And I will miss natasha romanoff forever. She deserved so much more and paved the way for all the other female superheroes in the mcu

- everyone crying over nat and especially steve broke me. They had such a special friendship, almost as strong as her and clint and I feel so many people forget that because of how natural they were together. And her last words to him were that she would see him in a minute and then she didn’t come back..

- i just realized i havent talked about thor and thats honestly because my brain blocked it out. I like that they explored his depression but dont like that he was made the joke of the avengers and I don’t think it was handled well. I did enjoy his conversation with frigga and by that I mean it made me cry. (also loki deserves a conversation like that too don’t @ me)

- STEVE WIELDS MJOLNIR!!! IT WAS SO BADASS AND MY DREAM COME TRUE I HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE EXCITED IN A MOVIE. To me that was the absolute highlight of the movie

- And then sam says “on your left” and all the characters come and the music... poetic cinema

- thanos is a weak little bitch and as soon as wanda was beating him he was fine with his own troops dying just so he could get away

- TONY AND PETER REUNITING CURED MY DEPRESSION AND THEN GAVE IT RIGHT BACK

- CAROL IS SO POWERFUL MY LESBIAN QUEEN

- sebastian stan has no business looking this good my god

- I forgot how much I missed peter parker

- I didn’t notice mbaku until my second viewing and honestly the wakandan characters were shafted like poor shuri we didn’t even know she was dusted until a few weeks before the movie

- I know everyone loves the scene of all the women characters carrying the gauntlet but honestly marvel has a long way to go before they reach equality and it honestly wasn’t enough for me

- side note pepper fighting back to back with tony was awesome

- ugh tony’s face when he realizes what he has to do and he looks at strange for confirmation... give rdj an oscar like my god. He knows that the past few years have led up to this moment and he is absolutely terrified and determined and I am tearing up while writing this because I am remembering it so vividly

- peter parkers goodbye had me crying why is tom holland such a good actor

- pepper’s goodbye BROKE ME... “you can rest now” I think that is the epitome of tony’s arc. For his entire storyline he has been trying to right his wrongs and save his friends and the world and that is so much for one man to carry on his shoulders and everyone knew it would be the death of him. I know tony stans are pissed off that he died, but I don’t see him just being able to retire. Obviously I didn’t want him to die, but his whole storyline has been leading up to this. He truly got a hero’s sendoff and was solidified as THE hero of the mcu. This era started with him and it ended with him. It was a beautiful sendoff for the character that started it all. And I don’t think rdj would go along with it if he didn’t approve

- Steve’s ending.... so I knew from spoilers what would happen and while it was something I wanted in theory I was pissed when I first found out. But it somehow worked. If you look at steve’s arc, he has always been a man out of time. For everyone getting mad he was hung up on a girl he kissed once, it’s pretty much confirmed in agent carter that he and peggy were on the DL for 3 years. she wasnt just a crush he knew for a few months. They loved each other and fought side by side for three years and time took him too soon. In age of ultron the only part I liked was steve’s vision where he gets a dance with peggy. As much as he moved on in the present, the possibility he missed with her always haunted him. You can tell in peggy’s video in the winter solider that even though she married and had kids, the thought of steve still gets her choked up. When she sees him as an old woman she immediately crumbles. They both have referred to each other as the loves of their lives. 

- So with that said, I don’t think it’s weird or out of the blue that he would suddenly decide to try and go back to peggy. They won, bucky is back and safe, sam is back and safe, he can finally rest, and he has the tools to go back in time. The way I interpreted it, Bucky 100% knew what he was going to do. The look on his face, the tone of his voice. He knew Steve was not coming back, and he also knew he deserved to have that happy ending. So while sam and bruce thought it would only be 5 seconds, bucky turned away from the machine, knowing steve wouldn’t show up there. I ship stucky too because I just want steve happy so while at first I was like “how could he leave bucky??” watching it on screen it made sense. Bucky approved of his choice, and while he was saddened by it, he understood it. 

- In my interpretation, I don’t think steve stayed in the main timeline. I think him going back created an alternate timeline where he married peggy, dissolved hydra earlier, and freed bucky earlier. At some point, those two timelines merged, and he wandered over to where he knew they would be. OR after peggy died, he used the technology to travel back to that timeline when he was old. Or my friend suggested he could have met tony stark in his alternate timeline and asked for his help. Who knows. He literally came back with a shield, meaning he was at one point captain america again in that timeline. I don’t think there is anyway he could just stay quiet for 70 years about bucky being tortured and peggy running shield that was secretly hydra. I refuse to believe that. If the russos come out and say that’s what he did, then I’ll backtrack and say I don’t approve of steve’s ending. But as of right now I’m okay with it. 

[pwnyta]

Full Endgame spoilers/review:

(TL;DR: It was really fucking good. Theres some bad obviously but overall worth it. Even after reading the spoilers and feeling like I may not like it as much as I thought I would... I actually liked it more.)

- - So as I said I loved the movie I had some gripes but overall I thought it was one hell of a fun, entertaining movie. I'll go by each characters story in my review saving Cap and Tony for last.

Natasha- Honestly? Though I think the MCU dropped the ball on the 0G6 being a believable family... I think Nats role in this movie was sweet. I really like the scene where Tony Nat and Bruce were laying down talking about Strange and the stones. It was really cute but it really made me wish we got to see this earlier. Joss dropped the ball hard in AoU. Ive said it one and I'll say it again. AoU should have been the movie where the Avengers were a solid unit throughout the movie.Nats death was... heroic but honestly her and Clint beating the shit out of each other because neither could stand the thought of the other being sacrificed was kinda funny and cute which is jarring to the story. It kinda sucks that she was fridged before the final battle though.

Clint- What are the fucking odds that every one of his family was dusted? But w/e. Clint having a wild sword battle in Japan... it was ridiculous and weird and IDK what they were thinking with that scene but it was played really dramatically but I laughed? Cuz it was so over the top and silly... even though he just slit that guys throat and Nats like :c Clint~ honey no its fine... and they hold hands over the guys warm corpse. LMFAO WHAT!? Im at least happy his kids got him back if nothing else.

Bruce- ... Bruce with Hulks big green body? NICE. Thats gonna have some interesting fanart I can already tell and I lift my glass to you. I once tried to draw a little comic where Bruce and Hulk separated but also had swapped bodies.... so Bruce had Hulks body but I never did finish it I wonder if I still have it saved somewhere. Anyways. Honestly? I found Bruce in this movie to be equal parts funny and annoying? Like it was a bit jarring sometimes that he was so lighthearted despite everything.

Thor- When I read the spoilers I thought I was gonna really dislike Thor but watching it I understood where Thor was coming from and I couldnt really blame him for spiraling and its not like anyone close to him seemed to even check up on him despite clearly knowing where he was. Im really sad that it took all those years and only until he was needed for someone to try and talk Thor through what he was going through. Im not annoyed with Thor. Im annoyed with the rest of them (minus Tony and I guess Clint? Considering.). Bruce was his friend in Ragnarok, Nat keeps talking about them being family, and Steve is their leader where the hell were they? Unless im missing something... I guess Valkyrie too but shes been picking up his slack as a leader and was holding the Asgardians together so I can cut her some slack. ANYWAYS. Thor was kinda funny in the movie but it was kind of hard to enjoy his goofiness. It kind felt like Tony in IM2. Speaking of Im glad Tony seemed really tolerant of Thors drunk behavior... I was sure he would throw a lot of shots like Rocket did. I wish they had a moment to talk about Thor self medicating with booze... Tonys been there. I get why they couldnt really but.. His scene with Frigga was really nice. Frigga is a bad bitch raised by witches and shit.... she knows all~ A wise woman that Frigga.

Scott- HOLY SHIT Did I love Scott in this movie. He was soo funny and cute... and bullied a lot. You know I have a thing for easily bulliable character. And Scott just got spanked left and right. His helpless goofiness reminded me of Harry from KKBB a little. He bounced off everyone well and it makes me kinda wish he was one of the OG6 instead of Clint. He was more of the heart that kept the Avengers together than anyone. Also him and Tony talking about Caps ass? HILARIOUS. Bisexual icons honestly. 'That suit did nothing for your ass.' 'No one asked you to look!' 'I think you look great Cap as far as Im concerned thats Americas ass!' and then later Caps all 'That IS Americas ass.' Unbelievable. But his best scene is still him reuniting with Cassie. She was so big! Im so happy she got her dad back... but Bruces failed time travel machine scene.... that was a close second. 'Somebody peed my pants... idk if it was baby me or old me........ or me me.' Also the 'whats up regular sized man' scene is longer and more hilarious than the preview showed. FUCK YOUR TACO SCOTT. At least Bruce is nice to him. I ship GreenAnt a little. Rocket petting Scott and mockingly calling him a puppy. SAME.

Rhodey- JESUS RHODEY. Speaking of hilarious idiots. Im glad he got a bigger roll in this movie but he didnt hug Tony when he got back so whats the point? BUT W/E... He was hilarious and amazing. It was nice to see him step up as one of the sorta leaders after the snappening. But he was also A HUGE FUCKING DORK THE ENTIRE WAY THROUGH. Thinking that a secret cavern with a spooky name would be boobytrapped like in Indiana Jones and trying to convince Nebula to be careful. Naming a bunch of shitty time travel movies to prove a point about time travel (with Scotts help) and going back in time to kill baby Thanos...and Bruce was like 'yeah... no...' and him fucking TRASHING the magic of the iconic opening scene of the first GotG where Quill is dancing.... 'so hes an idiot?' RHODEY PLEEEEAAASSSEEEE have mercy. Him and Nebula are a trip. Also I made a note to mention Don Cheadles BEAUTIFUL soft voice. So here it is. I love Don Cheadles beautiful soft voice. He had too few scenes with Tony but their first scene when Tony starts freaking out and hes trying to get Tony to calm down was pretty good... and god that ending.... ;-; How come Rhodey got NO lines while Tony was dying? But also in the same position I dont think Id have any words either. I too would just cry. And did... for Tony. But yeah besides his lack of scenes with Tony I really loved Rhodeys scenes. I usually do. Hes adorable.

Nebula: Sweetie... You are just amazing. Shes legit one of the best most solid characters in the movie. The opening scenes between her and Tony? FUCKING adorable. Im sad we dont see more of them after the time skip. I also wish we got a longer scene of Neb and Rocket talking when she gets to earth... I guess just seeing them sit together sadly was enough to portray the emotions but.... I MEAN. More Nebula wouldnt hurt anyone. Having to see two tortured versions of Nebula was upsetting. Future Nebula who lost so much and past Nebula still under Thanos' thumb. 'You can change!' 'He wont let me' OOF. Im sad that past Nebula was killed... but appreciate that even in that moment past Gamora was upset to see her be killed. Im glad with Present Neb, Gamora was so easily heel-face turned. She loves her sister. Also their moment after past Gamora beats up present Quill was hilarious 'Really? This is the guy?' 'The choices were him or a tree.' WHAT ABOUT DRAX, NEBULA?! I know I said I may not watch any MCU movies after this but I might tune in for GotG3 for Nebula (and Thor).

Steve: I actually ENJOYED Steve in this movie for the most part. For the first time in any movie... even by himself I kind of enjoyed Steve. Especially the scene when hes fighting himself and his past self says 'I can do this all day' and hes like 'Tst... yeah I know... okay' Like he was sick of his own damn bullshit. And frankly? Same. Also him whispering 'Hail hydra' to get the scepter? Hilarious. I cant help but see it as a knock at that shitty Hydra Cap comic that everyone hated. But despite me enjoying Steve for most of the film... the MCUs inability to write a good romance and pretending like Steve and Peggys relationship was a peak or something completely undoes it all. It would still NOT BE GREAT regardless but the fact the RUSSOS are the ones who brought Sharon into TWS in the first place makes it SO MUCH WORSE that Steve dipped out. Steve should have moved on... even if it wasnt with Sharon. They could have at least MENTIONED HER but they knew they couldnt because then it would be too highlighted that Steve is a fucking FUCK BOY who used the niece of the woman he loved as a surrogate and that him going back to the past means hes gonna be meeting little Sharon at some point. Also? Really? Steve you have this whole new family you supposedly love and can live your life with but you rather go back in the past because the first woman who was nice to you was there? Move on. Its so fucking weird that hes so obsessed with her. You have your childhood friend and the rest of your new friends... and supposedly a girlfriend. IDK how anyone could be happy with that ending for him. But I guess its in character... remember the note he sent Tony 'I've been on my own since I was 18.' What about Bucky? He was there with you and you had family in the Avengers supposedly. Natasha seemed to think so. YOURE SUCH A FUCKIN SCUMBAG STEVE. Jesus.

Tony: First of all Id just LOVED his scenes with Nebula as I said. He sat there patiently teaching how to play paper football and held her win. It was REALLY cute. When he passed out she picked him up off the floor and sat him down on the chair and pat him. REAL CUTE. He nicknamed her 'The Blue Meanie' its cute and he tried to give her the last of their food but she insisted he eat it. Bobbos eyes never looked more gorgeous than in that scene where Carol finds them honestly. Tonys I told you so was really really sad. It had a lot of feeling like that scene in AoU when he laughs hysterically and starts ranting? Rhodey tried to calm him down but he just ripped into Cap. Also he yanked off his arc reactor and I FULLY JUMPED IN PANIC because I forgot it wasnt in him. I fully flinched. But he pulled his heart out and gave it to Steve and then passed out. Tony and Peppers daughter is ADORABLE. And her interactions with Tony are so sweet. Domestic Tony is lovely. I love that when Steve and the gang roll up on him Morgan runs out during their discussion and is like 'Mom told me to come and save you....' and hes like 'Well Ive been saved!' REAL CUTE. Also he swore and his daughter copied him and hes like NOOOOO!!!!!!! LMAO. LANGUAGE Tony. Tony is motivated to fix things seeing that pic of him and Peter. Hes such a softie. IM REALLY REALLY SAD that we finally see Pepper kinda GET Tonys need to be Iron Man and is like 'But could you rest?'. The one time she encourages him to go back to be Iron Man and he fucking DIES. Im so sad for Pepper. But that scene between them where shes like 'We'll be ok.... you can rest now.' FUCK. Im crying again. That scene between him and Steve- 'Someone shoula warned you~' 'You did...' 'Oh did I? Thank god Im here' has the same energy as 'Who taught you how to dance?' 'You did.' 'Well Ive done a marvelous job!' It was pretty great. Tonys nicknames for Scott are 'Pissant' and 'Thumbelina.' Im not OVERLY fond of his scenes with Howard. But honestly? My brother is the same way with our dad... he just chooses to forget the bad stuff and focus on the few good times. I cant do that but if it made Tony happier then VERY WELL. I wish Tony coulda talked to Jarvis too tho... just a word... anything? Best Tony scene is Peter babbling about how he musta passed out because Tony was gone and and and and Tony just hugs him so tightly and Peters hugs back and is like :D 'this is nice'! Though that STARK contrast of them after Tony uses the gauntlet... and Peter is like 'Mr Stark... we won... we did it... no Mr Stark...' Big Simba and Mufasa feels (and kind of Hughes and Elicia tbh). Not cool Disney. I was already crying. Rhodey was the first to reach Tony and Tony couldnt say ANYTHING to anyone and Rhodey just pets his cheek... Tony was just looking around as his family just has to watch helplessly as hes dying and Pepper tells him its ok. His funeral was really nice. He recorded a message for everyone kind of like his message for Pepper on the ship. Everyone was there... I think even Harley (Im really sad we didnt see them get reunited even once). The scene with Happy and Morgan was really sweet. 'I'll buy all the cheeseburgers you want....' It was cool to because... ya know.... Jon Favreau. He got a really beautiful end. I wish he could just retire and live with Pep and Morgan... but if he had to die... that was a really lovely sendoff. SO ALL IN ALL. Awesome movie. I didnt get to see past elderly Steve passing the shield off to Sam... I'll have to rewatch it again when theres a better version. Especially for that fucking STUNNING end battle. Even with the shitty cam I watched it looked AMAZING and I cant wait for it in HD.

[legion1993]

Thunderstorm Wedding

AN: this is for @until-theend-oftheline for Kari’s Summer challenge. Girl, hope you enjoy this cause this is all on the fly work! enjoy the rolleroaster ride! there is another AN in the story to explain how i came up with a certain part of the story. hope you like it!

Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader

Prompt: Thunderstorm

Summery: there isnt one!

this was it, your wedding day was TOMORROW. everything prepared and ready, bows and decorations laid out for everyone to see, people from all over arriving too witness your wedding. 

oh yeah, your marrying the guy who made you fall in love with the MCU even more than you already were. you were marrying Chris Evans. 

of course this wedding was gonna be avenger themed. obviously considering who your marrying. there was gonna be an entire skit and everything. you were completely hopeful that you would have the perfect-ish wedding. 

you were at the hall with Chris going through the dress rehersal, and making sure all the decorations were in place along with props and that everyone knew what to say, when to say it, and what to do and when.

then you and Chris were dropped off at the same hotel but each of you taken to seperate rooms. Scarlet stayed with you playing cards, she knew you a little too well, this was what you had always dreamed off, to get married, to start a journey of love and passion with someone kind, sweet and amazing.

Scarlet: “what is it YN, you have that look in your eye?”

YN: “i dont know Scar, its just some nerves i guess. but weird thing is i don’t actually feel nervous.”

Scarlet: “well did you get some mojo recently?”

YN: “i did open a fortune cookie a couple days ago, it said ‘when the hammer is lifted, thunder rolls, words of affirmation finished, while the truth realized.’ i guess thats what is freaking my body out right now. and i believe i win.”

Scarlet and you both looked down at your hands. playing blackjack is fun, especially when you happen to always have an especially lucky hand. Scarlet laughed as she chugged the rest of her wine. 

Scarlet: “we should get some sleep… it will be a long busy day tomorrow.”

you and Scarlet had always shared a bed, even when she and you were roommates, it didnt matter, and no it was never anything freaky like that. it was just that she was your Best Friend and there wasnt anything neither of you wouldnt do for the other. 

so removing your house coat, you crawled into bed getting comfy while Scarlet finished turning off the lights, she crawled in beside you. cuddling together you both drifted into unconsciousness.

——————————————–

Chris however had been taken to his room by Robert. now normally this would have been something to behold for the theatrics. but it was a different situation. 

Rob: “YN seemed really stoked about the wedding.”

Chris: “i know, the only other time ive seen her like that was when i proposed. its like a massive reality spikes her adrenaline. but oh well. i guess if this goes well, the wedding of the year award will go to me & YN.”

Rob: “i suppose it will, but did you ever think about what kind of mark your wedding will leave on the community…”

Chris got up and started pacing…

Chris: “dont start an argument with me Rob, please man im getting married to an amazing girl, with you as the best man. come on bro, please just dont question this decision.

Chris and Rob after about 5 minutes each took 2 shots and went to bed knowing that it was gonna be a long and busy day.

———————————————–

Scarlet woke up shortly before you, like always she tried to give you as much sleep as possible. she checked the weather and happened to see the 79% chance of a thunderstorm starting right around the middle of the ceremony. 

Scarlet woke you up, gently and calmly. you opened your eyes fluttering them a bit before they stayed open, you sat up as Scarlet handed you your cold caffeinated cola. 

there was nothing that you imagined would ever ruin this day. it was YOUR WEDDING DAY! of course nothing could ruin the day. Scarlet started pulling out the straightener and the wedding lingerie, setting up everything and calling room service to bring you ladies some breakfast.

Scarlet: “breakfast is being made, and will be delivered soon. lets have you sit up and ill brush your hair out and place in the extensions before you go shower.”

you sat up in the middle of the bed and pulled out your laptop firing it up and making sure you have all the correct papers and such. 

YN: “Scar, what kind of day do you think this is gonna be?”

Scarlet was unsure of how to answer that question…

Scarlet: “i think this day will turn into the perfect of awesome weddings.”

you kept going through and making sure all the documents you needed to have filled out, were filled out and making sure there were backups of all the documents in case one of the things needed replacing.

Scarlet: “will you give the documents a rest? nothing is gonna go wrong. trust me. now you continue to hold still and throw on some music while i finish these extensions.”

Scarlet waited for the music to start before she started the extensions. once the music started she started to attach the extensions. there was nothing which made you happier than listening to the soundtrack of yours Chris’ love. 

this was the start of a very very long half an hour.

—————————————-

Chris woke up with Robert a few hours after you and Scarlet. this was the start of a lot of paranoia.

Robert: “how do you feel about today Chris?”

Chris: “i feel good, but if all goes well this storm will hold off till after the ceremony.”

Robert and Chris just sat in the room also ordering room service as they sat there toasting and cheering and praising each of their individual acomplishments.

—————————————–

Scarlet was finally done your hair, you went to the bathroom with your robe, lingerie and a towel. you started the shower and undressed yourself, you made your way into the tub and let the hot water maul over you for several minutes before washing your hair. 

you washed your hair, you werent used to how long it was. but that would soon be obsolete, for your mind now came to the thought of being MRS. EVENS LATER. you were now at peace in your mind. 

you finished in the shower about 15 minutes later. you got out and heard the sound of Scarlet singing out side, but you also heard your phone ringing. Scarlet of course answered it. 

Scarlet: “YN’s phone…”

Chris: “hey Scar, what would you say to me wanting to speak with my girl!”

Scarlet: “you can just give me a moment.”

Scarlet said as she saw you exiting the washroom. she handed you the phone after you sat on the bed so Scarlet could make your hair wedding worthy. the convo between you and Chris went a little like this:

—————————–

YN: “hey Chris!”

Chris: “babe, im so lucky to get to marry you.”

YN: “im lucky too, at first i wasnt sure a guy like you would ever fall in love with a girl like me but now i know this is destiny.”

Chris: “i know but this is real, and your gonna be beautiful… hows the getting ready going?”

Scarlet: “im just doing her hair now Chris… don’t worry she will be recognizable when im through with her.”

YN: “just braid my hair Scar…”

Scarlet started putting in the french braid, she also intently listened in on yours and chris’ conversation. the braid was gonna be long but thats what you wanted. 

Chris: “i missed sleeping next to you last night!”

YN: “the bed felt not the same without you… but after today we wont ever have to sleep apart again. ill see you in 2 hours babe.”

Chris: “i love you…”

YN: “i love you too..”

—————————————-

with that the call disconnected and Scarlet had just finished the braid with its own twist and accessories. a little bit of hair bling. this was it, this now was the time. it was time for the rest of your outfit. this included now fully putting on your lingerie, and your shoes while Scarlet went to pull out your Dress. 

ah yes the dress that you had picked to specifically go with the superhero theme. the one dress to rule all dresses. 

you slipped into it and smiled as the fabric slid over your skin. 

you twirled several times loving how the dress felt and looked. now you and Scarlet had to walk to the ceremony location to make it there before the guys did. 

walking down the roads the photographer followed you ladies, photographing alot of really great shots. simple ones but still capturing your beauty and elegance. 

this was how you knew today would be perfect. Scarlets dress showed her black widow side very well. which was what u both wanted, especially for the skit. the avengers may not have been real but their counters are very much like their avenger counter parts.

this was the moment when the final approach to the venue was in effect. your day was now looking up. your only goal was not tripping over anything, that was the last thing you needed. 

photographer: “how bout it ladies we get some shots in the park? like on the path and mock shots?”

you and Scarlet knew exactly what kind of shots the photographer meant. 

------------------------------------------

Shot 1: the best friend proposal!

Shot 2: the maid of honor carries the bride!

Shot 3: the double cheek kiss. 

Shot 4: the forehead mash in sunlight!

Shot 5: maid of honor releasing her best friend into the light!

Shot 6: the ‘im never letting go of my girl’!

Shot 7: out of every walk we’ve taken this one will be the most important!

Shot 8: get into position its time!

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this was it, the moment that was forever to change your life, you were lining up at the end of the path behind the trees. your only worry was there were clouds in the sky, seeming like they were gonna roll on top of ya’ll and pour it all down!

Scarlet: “i see the look in your eyes don’t worry girl! your wedding will go off without a hitch. now Robert is coming back here to walk you down that isle unless you want someone else to do it.”

Robert had come round the corner just as Scarlet had finished speaking...

Robert: “you know that im the best man technically im supposed to be up there with Chris! Scarlet why dont you walk YN down that isle!”

Scarlet could only stare at you as you took a peak behind the tree at the crowd of people, the press, and the one person who made this day yours. Chris, standing at the alter, where you of course would be walking to in the next 5 minutes but first you have to make the choice of your life.

Scarlet: “what do you say girl? ready to take the most important walk of our lives... together?”

You turned to face her and Robert as you exhaled the breath you took in.

YN: “get out there Rob before you mess up the plan and be ready to switch positions when we fully get up there!”

Scarlet: “and make sure the director is ready to marry his favorite avenger and his lady!”

Robert made a salute and walked back up the isle. you got into position and waited for Scarlet to join you behind the camoflauge. you both waited for the words of the Director to begin.

Samuel: “ladies and gentlemen, fellow agents, and of course the avengers! welcome to the wedding of the century! welcome to the wedding of Chris Evens & YN! also known to the public eye as Captain America & his Lady! please rise to honor the bride as she walks her way down the isle!”

the crowd rose you locked hands with Scarlet, the camoflauge opened up, you and Scarlet made it per-tenant to step into the light! the photographer who was behind you guys captured the first look of Chris and the Crowd at you and Scarlet!

Chris’ face was totally priceless! it was like he was looking at you for the first time all over again! Samuel just smiled knowing that you and Chris were truly gonna be the wedding of the century never mind that forever....

Samuel: “i say a round of applause is in order for the beautiful Bride!”

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you walked beside Scarlet knowing that all eyes were on you, but you didnt care cause your eyes were on Chris. you were smiling all while Scarlet did everything in her power to keep you from falling flat on your face.

you and Scarlet got to your point of stopping, now it was time for the skit to begin.

----------------------------------------

Samuel: “whats wrong. are you gonna finish your journey forward?”

YN: “after i say one small thing... i discovered this a while ago but thought nothing of it. i have Stark blood flowing through my veins.”

the entirety of the avengers line-up were playing out their respected roles. 

Robert: “Steve did you know anything about this?”

Chris: “i had no idea... YN how much stark blood are we talking?”

(*Authors Note: i am writing this part as if the actors are using their roles for the speaking during the ceremony but the actors names will be the ones leading their lines... just so no one gets confused... any questions at all feel free to ask*)

YN: “im Tony’s long lost cousin on his dads side...”

the crowd went berserk sort of they started mumbling but silenced when you guys started talking again...

Hemsworth: “dont worry young one, for i Thor God of Thunder still support this union...”

Samuel: “i Nick Fury Director of SHIELD still support this union.”

Scarlet: “i Natasha Romanov still support this union.”

Mark: “i am Bruce Banner and i still whole heartedly support this union.”

Jeremy: “i Clint Barton still wholly support this union.”

the avengers gave 3 cheers and then it came down to your fiance and Robert. both of whom now approached you.

------------------------------

Robert: “after all this time, how long have you known?”

YN: “about 2 weeks, i was too scared to say anything about it. i didnt know how you would react. so i used my own skill of keeping things from people to avoid any angry situations before the wedding. im so sorry guys, ive lied to all of you... especially you Steve im so sorry, i wanted to tell you guys so badly but i knew if i did there was a chance that you guys wouldnt accept me after that.”

Robert: “i Tony Stark, humbly still support this union Cuz!”

Chris comes up to you and smiles!

Chris: “what do you say YN ready to finish the walk of our lives and make it to that alter?”

Chris of course held his hand to you and smiled when you took it, both of you now making it to the alter, Samuel now cleared his throat to continue his duties as the minister.

Samuel: “Marriage means alot of things to alot of people, but to the Avengers and to SHIELD it only means our family is growing, its expanding in more ways than one. Marriage is what unites the Hearts of Steve & YN and Marriage is what brings us all here today! now i already know how the avengers and SHIELD agents respond to this but now i have to ask everyone else, is there anyone in attendance to this wedding that objects to this marriage?”

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a loud snap against the stone pathway echoed through the corridor... everyone turned to see Tom in Loki form. Chris held you while everyone else got into defensive around you guys. 

Tom: “i object to this disgusting union... ugh weddings make me sick... ah brother you need to work on your touch... that cell you all left me in was easy to escape from... now if you all would excuse me id like to get the girl and leave... so i can take all the knowledge she has inside her tiny little brain and build myself a portal back to somewhere that isnt here.”

Rob: “your not taking her anywhere, Loki! Avengers Assemble!”

Samuel: “SHIELD agents on the mark!”

Chris: “Thor can’t you do something!”

Hemsworth: “i can but if this works he will be sent to a stronger prison this time...”

Hemsworth shot his hand straight into the air and within moments a blast of thunder bolts came down from the sky... the thunder continued to rumble as the Avengers and SHIELD agents all stood guard while Samuel continued the wedding.

Samuel: “Steve & YN say your Vows we will make sure he doesnt approach any closer...”

Chris: “YN you have changed my life. you have changed my world. that day all those years ago made me realize that i had been missing out on. i love you YN i always have and i always will. i vow to on this love, honor, cherish, respect, and train with you every single day for as long as we both shall live in Sickness, in Health, for Richer, for Poorer, to Comfort you in Times of need, to Be there for you in all things, Always & Forever!”

YN: “Steve your my entire world, i wouldnt even be who i am today if it hadnt have been you id ended up falling for. i love you Steve i always have and i always will. i vow on this day to Love, Honor, Cherish, Respect & Train with you every single day for as long as we both shall live... In Sickness, in Health, for Richer, for Poorer, to Comfort you in Times of need, to Be there for you in All things, Always & Forever!”

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Samuel pulled the rings out of his jacket pocket opening the box and holding it to you & Chris he said his next bit...

Samuel: “please repeat after me... one at a time of course... YN your gonna go first... please take Steve’s ring and repeat after me!”

you took the ring out of the box and held it to Chris’ finger... 

Samuel: “i YN...”

YN: “i YN...”

Samuel: “Take you Steve!”

YN: “take you steve!”

Samuel: “to be my husband!”

YN: “to be my husband!”

Samuel: “in life and death!”

YN: “in life and death!”

Samuel: “as an official Avenger for as long as we both shall live!”

YN: “as an official Avenger for as long as we both shall live!”

you slide the ring on Chris’ hand as Chris now takes your ring and mimics your actions...

Samuel: “now its your turn Steve. Please repeat after me! I Steve...”

Chris: “i Steve.”

Samuel: “take you YN”

Chris: “take you YN!”

Samuel: “to be my wife!”

Chris: “to be my wife!”

Samuel: “in life and death!”

Chris: “in life and death!”

Samuel: “as the most amazing avenger couple in the world!”

Chris: “as the most amazing Avenger couple in the world!”

Samuel: “for as long as we both shall live!”

Chris: for as long as we both shall live!”

----------------------------

Loki: “dont you dare finish that ceremony, or i swear i will reign hell down on the earth for as long as i shall live!”

Samuel: “it is my esteemed honor to present you both as Husband and Wife! Steve you may now Kiss your Bride!”

this of course was when Chris pulled you close and kissed you passionately! earning applause from the whole crowd! including the avengers and SHIELD agents which were not looking at you guys fully. 

then you and Chris turned your attention to Tom who was still really deep into his role.

Chris: “give it up Loki, you dont win today!” 

Loki: “thats what you think... isnt that right brother?”

Tom rose his staff to the sky, earning a loud thunder clap from above, which then turned into a lightning strike... you dove with Chris into the chairs of people who scattered, along with everyone who didnt know that something was definately fishy...

you coughed a bit after sitting up as Chris got up helping you... both of you being approached immediately by the rest of your team! Chris helped you dust off as you did him.

Chris: “are you alright?”

YN: “im fne but whoever did this is paying the dry cleaning... does anyone have any thoughts! Hemsworth, Hiddleston... what happened?”

Hemsworth: “no idea but to my knowledge id guess that it was a freak bolt of lightning...”

Tom: “id guess either what hemsworth said or our gifts and talents from our acting has suddenly become reality...”

you took one look around and then saw something out of the corner of your eye, you left Chris’ grasp and ran to the sight of the crash and dropped to your knees as it started to storm thunder, lightning, the whole entirety. 

the others of course followed you and found the symbol of the asgardian gateway on the ground where you all were once standing. 

Samuel: “i dont know what the explanation is for this but we need to re group and figure this all out and see if anything is different. lets get someplace safe first though...”

Chris: “Me and Robert will go with YN we all probably need to talk anyway... cause if im not mistaken YN when you said your first thing you were telling the truth... weren’t you?”

you couldnt form words, but was able to nod yes! 

Samuel: “we will meet at the set of the Avengers and figure all this out...”

Samuel and the others except for you, Chris and Robert left. you finally spoke after several minutes! 

YN: “my fortune cookie fortune came true... this is all my fault...”

Chris: “what did it say...”

YN: “when the hammer is lifted, thunder rolls, words of affirmation finished, while the truth realized.”

that of course is when Chris and Robert also spoke...

Chris: “for its within the thunder, disaster strikes...”

Robert: “for the world you know, is not it at all...”

You got up off the ground once more and turned to face Robert & Chris!

YN: “robert yes your my cousin, im sorry i didnt say anything to either of you... Chris i am happy we are married, but im kinda pissed that our plans got ruined. our fortunes all line up with eachother... who would seperate a prophecy into 3 seperate fortune cookies?”

Chris: “dont worry we will get answers but for now Rob do you want to say it or shall i?”

Robert: “lets not have this argument and just let YN say it!”

you faced the 2 guys most important in your life and held your hand in front of them... they placed theirs on top of yours as you smiled slightly...

YN: “Avengers Assemble!”

[dyketectivecomics]

confession: as Bad as Green Lantern (2011) was... tbh it’s my guilty pleasure & also a huge nostalgia hit for me (more under the cut, sorry to mobile users who are gonna see it all anyways bc tumblr is a butt) just some general musings abt it bc its almost midnight~

it Makes Sense that they’d cast Ryan Reynolds as Hal (if you think abt the place that he’d take as the kinda Jokester/Jock alongside Barry on the JLA) but while carrying a film on his own it probably wasn't the best decision, its probably what made Deadpool the success that it was bc it plays much more into Ryan’s hand as more of a comedic actor. there’s plenty to unpack overall tho with how Bad the movie was that also plays into the casting decisions ofc

when i caught it on TV w/ my dad tho, we went in Knowing it was Bad & not expecting anything &... we had a Good Time. it was even better bc my dad dropped a bunch of Lantern facts during the commercials for me (he’s more of a Guy Gardner fan/hater??? if that makes sense?? I'm sure most ppl are. y'all know what I'm talking abt) it was one of those things that started to get me into the greater DCU beyond just the animated stuff I’d been watching for years at that point. we found a couple redeeming qualities in it & i rlly didn't mind it overall. it was a simple story when you broke it down & it was clearly trying to set something up for the future, which was rlly rlly cool to me at the time. (i know ofc that the mcu was doing this in spades by that point but i never watched too many marvel movies bc i just??? wasnt into it & dad’s favs weren't in them so we just??? didn't seek them out lol)

i havent seen it again in years ofc & I'm sure if i watched it now i’d still laugh over how bad it is but like. in a time when DC wasn’t rlly doing Much for their properties outside of batman in live-action is it rlly any surprise that they had a major stumble right out the gate?

anyways Reynolds was my First Official Celebrity Crush bc of it & the subsequent movie marathon I did w/ his movies bc I didn't accept How Damn Gay I was. & tbh I'm still love him, shit on the movie all ya want. i was like 15 & i fully accepted that garbage bc the Stars fucking Aligned for me to

[mattelektras]

overall thoughts on the defenders?

 ok this is gonna be a long ass answer!!!

general stuff:

the plot was a bit cliche at times like really.... blow up the place we’re gonna be in and have a countdown detonator...... is this james bond

and the whole thing with the ‘’’’substance’’’’ felt very....... shoehorned in. i cant say i even fully understood that part of it. it felt like one episode was just the hand being assholes because thats what they do and then the next was... oh no we’re actually being assholes for this now

alexandra was disappointing. i expected her to be MORE, but i feel like sticking with madame gao would have made for a better main antagonst. which i guess she still kind of is, she’s just a behind the scenes kind of deal

but to bring in alexandra as this new character that’s so important and has so much backstory and then not actually give me any reason to believe any of it.... ehhh

danny was slightly more likeable than he was in iron fist. maybe a single iota more mature 

danny/colleen just doesnt work as a believable solid relationship when its put up against luke/claire and it just felt out of place

BUT the way the first few episodes bought them together was really fun and took my mind off the fact that nothing real actually happened until halfway through the season

and in general... the plot was okay, the whole feel of it was solid, way more comprehensive than say... daredevil season 2 where the two halves of the season barely meshed 

other stuff:

the team dynamic was so easy and so likeable and that is what’s gonna stand out regardless of any issues the show has imo

the luke/danny stuff felt so BAITY i loved it... it felt like one of them was 2 seconds away from saying heroes for hire at all times like it felt like the writers KNEW how important their friendship is in the comics and really tried to start that

and everything luke said to him when they first met about danny having power from the day he was born was so fucking well handled, especially considering all the issues with the show danny had just stepped out of. and luke kept the same values he had in his own show??

LUKE IN GENERAL WAS  FUCKING HIGHLIGHT. his conversations with claire, him being the only one a bit worried about blowing up the building etc etc like... objectively the most heroic of the bunch?? the most legitimately altruistic

the right amount of karen page. i nap during her scenes but when she told matt that the problem wasnt the hand, that it was HIM, angels were singing and the world around me was glowing. the character herself acknowledges matt is the problem but karen fans are probs still gonna blame elektra

felt like a lot of side characters were just hanging around doing nothing in a police precinct 

malcolm looked fucking good this season

MISTY’S ARRRRRRMMM SHE’S GONNA BE SO FUCKING COOL WHEN SHE GETS HER BIONIC ONE

I DID NOT SEE IT COMING EITHER i was shitposting about how the show would be better if she had it and then she fucking lsot her arm RIGHT BEFORE MY EYES N IVE NEVER BEEN SO EXCITED TO SEE A LIMB LOST 

and colleen being the one in the hospital with her feels like some daughters of the dragon foreshadowing 

matt being with nuns at the end....... mama murdock foreshadowing

the important stuff. the elektra stuff. the otp stuff.

her snapping and killing alexandra and taking over was A JOURNEY. thats when she felt like her to me. she’d been waiting and watching but doing her own thing in private like going to matt’s apartment, and then when she was ready she just fuckin................ did that

im so proud of my girl for looking out for herself an doing what she had to do to protect herself whilst surrounded by a bunch of people trying to use her 

the dramatic repression like her 616 counterpart 

VERY FALL FROM GRACE. they might not have done erynys but at times it felt like she WAS erynys just not in a separate body, and she was just trying to save herself the suffering of being fully herself again

matt and elektra’s fight scenes were probably my favourite part of the whole thing like anyone who knows even 1 thing about me knows i place a lot of importance on the ‘i spar best with you’ line from 616 and they really proved me right 

mat got himself back in my good graces my fucking MAN. after the shitshow ending of s2 where he doesnt even wait for her to be cold yet before he goes and tells karen everything, i didnt have high hopes. but he was SO DETERMINED to save her right from the get go, and he had no intention of leaving her at any point. and that just... captured a lot of things about their comics selves 

the two of them not even speaking but both fucking DESTROYING people for fucking with the other???????

THE ENDING..... god i love him so much for staying with her. she was obviously afraid of dying again considering the trauma she was still recovering from the first go around and so far, all she’s had in the mcu is pretty shitty treatment from everyone around her right until the second she died so for her to ‘’’die’’’ again but this time be with the man she loves who loves her and not be alone for once and actually have someone do something SOLELY for her with no ulterior motives is just.............. so good. and it fucking kills me because thats all i want for her in ANY universe so i really am way more contented than i was expecting to be

and elodie yung was............ amazing????? to have to be so silent in a lot of her scenes but still convey all of the above shit

all i was kind of expecting the angsty messy matt show but he had some like.... legitimate growth on his own without having foggy or she who shall not be named around to change for. and him saying that being daredevil IS his life and he so obviously didnt wanna give it up because thats who he is and THATS COMICS MATT THERE HE IS!!! and then to go out the way he did jsut..... felt right 

it wasnt perfect but it redeemed a lot of previous issues w them from s2 and it might just be my reading into things, but to finally see a lot of comic aspects of their relationship incorporated into this season made the whole show for me?? to just have..... my absolute!!!! favorite!!!!! character!!!! in her iconic relationship handled WAY better this time......... im at peace and for once not completely full of hate and i really am floored by just how much i love elektra natchios  and elektra with matt like they really are...... so important 2 me i never get to see them together in comics but i get this thanks @ god for doin me a solid here

[wormsongs]

some uhh personal thoughts related to marvel stuff... its uh... long

as much as i love the expansion of gamora and nebula’s relationship, how nice it is to see sister relationships explored in hollywood media. i think ill always relate more to mcu thor and lokis relationship. while gamora and nebula represent siblings in an openly abusive household pushed to the extreme and scifi, something i cant directly relate to, the boys represent more a relationship strained by expectations, envy, and ignorance; something i WAY more relate to

my half brother is 10 years older than me. when i was a kid i idolized him, as most kids do with their older siblings. he wasnt a perfect student, hell, he wasnt even a GOOD student he was pretty angry and rebellious during high school. but i was a kid i didnt care i loved him, like really loved him (before i knew what marriage was actually i thought it just meant spending forever with someone and i wanted to “marry” him so you can imagine how healthy this relationship was). he spent time with me sometimes, yeah, we played video games and stuff but i got in the way alot. then he graduated and left me. he moved out of state, to where his mom lived. and i grew up, moved on, didn’t see or even talk to him for probably 5 years. I was maybe 9 when he left. I was always told “you cant be as bad as drew was” or “you’ve got to be better than he was.” this was a brother i idolized for my whole life, and i was being told of his flaws without him there, being compared to him constantly by my parents (mostly my mom which is a whole other can of worms). and even though he wasn’t the perfect brother, you can imagine the kind of pressure that puts on a kid.

then his mom died of cancer and he moved back to austin. we hadn’t talked for 4 or 5 years, and last time we did i was a kid. the first memory i have of him where i wasnt a straight up kid was him taking me and my dad to watch Avengers in theaters. (wow what a coincidence that i just put together on the spot). but even then his life was a wreck and i was still a kid. we didnt talk. what had been idolization became distance and pressure on me.

i was the perfect kid, never snuck out, always got good grades, didnt do a weed or drink, never went to parties. I had to be, bc i “couldn’t be as bad as drew.” So i was sure not to be. But i had maybe 3 friends. this was early highschool, 2013 about and i still barely talked to my brother. I think the first time we hung out in probably months was seeing thor 2 (huh how bout that. I was in the Loki phase by then.) but I was still the perfect student and a good swimmer, if a bit weird and obsessed. i still had a chance to be “better than drew.”

then junior year of highschool rolled around. and thats when i started to fall apart. good ol Depression kicked in, wasnt too bad yet, but my grades started to slip. But all that mattered was “i wasn’t as bad as drew.” I couldn’t be so i didnt talk to anybody about it, let alone my parents. I couldn’t, i had to be better. so i swam and a went to school and i obsessed over marvel bc it was what i had. I shamed myself out of liking loki (NOT what i should have done turns out that only made things worse)

Senior year was the worst. figured out i wasnt straight. Depression was bad, cutting, suicidal thoughts, the whole 9 yards. It was rough, but i still went to school and i still swam, i still saw marvel movies, my life went on bc “i couldn’t be as bad as drew.” my cuts got found out and the counselor called me in. I lied, said it was my cat. a good excuse because i do have scars from my cat. i lied, and my parents believed me. still believe me to this day. still dont know that i used to cut. i lied, i kept lying every time someone asked me about the scratches on my leg. but my parents knew i “wasn’t as bad as drew.”

only difference was that i was talking to my brother again, barely, but talking. mostly through work out class that he taught. it was weird, he never knew how i felt, doesnt know still. but it was something. he was older and better than me now, his life was back on track, he just got a girlfriend, he had a job. I was a depressed, suicidal, cutting, queer highschooler who picked a college only passivly and let others do most of the decision making (which suited my mom fine), i didnt care, i was so tired. I was “worse than drew” even if no one ever knew it. I knew it.

things got better after highschool, i stopped cutting, got my first tattoo over my scars, i tried to pull myself out a depressive spiral, i prepared for college. I was “Stable”, i talked to my brother sometimes. turns out the college i basically let my mom pick for me was a good fit. life was hard but it had been harder. and away from my parents i didnt have to be “better than drew” even if the memory remains.

only problem was, i had never paid any attention to my jealousy and anger. i never addressed that i had any towards my brother. only now, years and years later, after a summer where i finally hung out with him almost twice a week, am i finally letting myself get mad at my brother. im letting him annoy me if we hang out too long. im letting myself feel jipped if he says were gonna do something and then backs out. im acknowledging his flaws and my own. i still struggle with the “worse than drew” mentality bc he is better than me now, and what i want to do is not a profiting business. but its better.

and well, tldr:

ive got an older half brother who i idolized. who my parents compared me to constantly. who, by some weird coincidence, has a deep connection w mjolnir in my head (via his tattoo of it) and a cool dark haired athletic girlfriend that could kick my ass (like what kinda fucking coincidence), that dropped out of my life pretty dramatically at a turning point. a brother that i was secretly, even to myself, envious of, envy that came from unhealthy idolization. a brother who thinks “you can tell me anything” even though i CANT because of the distance between us he hasnt quite fully acknowledged either. 

and me, the younger, not straight, sibling who was(is) depressed, who felt abandoned by a brother who didnt really mean to abandon me, who was held so high and tried so hard to keep that reputation that i didnt let myself grow healthily. who lied about my problems and still isnt really to term with how i feel about my brother. who feels worse than their sibling because they were always told to be better.

and reconciliation is everything i want but everything i dont think i can get because of my own inclination to lock things away and ignore them.

also ive called my brother thor so many goddamn times totally on accident and my brain needs to chill the fuck out like i get it i understand the connection pls dont expose me im not ready for that yet

and just like... mcu thor and lokis relationship is something i hold so dear and close bc its so familiar. i want them to do better bc i want to do better