#but i tried to summarise it how i see her on the outside

[midaskey]

Tell us about your Rogue Trader! She looks badass.

Hoooo booy, I'm not a WH40K expert, but here we go!

Her name is Rainer, which is more of an alias from the early days in Schola Progenium, practically no one remembers her original name, not even herself lol. She was picked from the streets and mindwiped and was told that her parents are heroes or smth and how she'd follow in their footsteps, but the point is the mind forgets, but the body remembers - her skills and temper, gained in the slums died hard, like really hard. Her character is pretty much summarised as bratty hooligan, who learned to hide her emotions too damn well. And boy oh boy she doesn't even realise how much of a suppressed monster she is even without the warp influence. It's hard for me to summarise her character in a few words, but I do enjoy making ambiguous characters, but I'll say she's not without some pangs of conscience here and there.

Rainer's in-game portrait that I posted is basically her look post-Act III with white streaks in her hair and Glasgow grin of course. And on official events she styles her hair in halo braid.

[southparktexts]

Enemies to lovers with the main four?

i love this concept so much anon !! thank you !!!

Enemies to lovers w/ main four

Kyle :

- i know damn well you guys became enemies because of grades.

- academic award fights.

- this literally all happened because you two wrote on the same topic but you had one mark more than kyle.

- gave you the biggest side eye

“I can’t believe that THEY out of all people got 100! i got 99 why couldn’t i just get a 100, it was the same topic!”

“…dude. y/n is kinda smart its not that surprising.”

- he complains about you whenever you ‘beat’ him with grades

- you dont even know he got beef with you tbh 😭

- you guys didnt even talk at all, you were just in the same class as him unironically.

- one day, you got paired up with him for a history presentation

- he literally rolled his eyes when he heard that and had a mood when you talked to him.

“so.. ill to information and research and you can summarise my points?”

“yeah. whatever. i don’t care.”

- eventually, after days of the two of you guys doing the project he realised you weren’t that bad of a person.

- i can see, after you guys did your presentation he would ask to be your partner more and you happily accepted

- one day, after having kyle over to do another assignment the two of you went to mcdonald’s together.

- that was probably the first time he talked to you, outside of school work.

- he definitely caught feels for you

- unironically invited you to game night with the main 4

“..dude i thought you hated her.”

“….shes not that bad.”

“I TOLD YOU THAT??”

- definitely got jealous when kenny tried flirting with you.

- after that he unironically got more touchy with you.

- holding hands when you guys hung out after studying maths together.

- one day he asked his dad for advice and he said just to ask you out.

- he did… on text.

- my guy wrote a whole essay on you.

Eric :

- you guys definitely became prank wars enemies. full stop.

- prank wars.

- this definitely started because eric thought it would be funny to put a whopee cushion on your seat

- you saw it before you sat down and he got so fucking pissed.

“WHO DOES THIS BITCH THINK THEY ARE? NOT EVEN SITTING DOWN ON IT. WHAT THE FUCK.”

“fatass it isn’t that personal.”

- from there you and him back to back prank each other.

- ..they got worse as they progressed.

- he put a lot of laxatives and arbys sauce into your lunch once

- in return you put a lot of melatonin into his milk and made him sleep during an exam.

- yall are both fucked up like that 😭

- definitely spends a lot of time thinking how he can prank you and you do the same.

- you’re the only thing on his mind at this point.

“i fucking hate how that BITCH is always one step ahead of me.”

“you gotta admit.. theyre kinda hot..”

“NO KENNY. NO.”

“cartman you talk about them a little too much, its like you like them or something.”

“WHAT?! NO. CMON GUYS.”

“..sure fatass.”

- after stan said that he started questioning his feelings towards you.

- he kinda realised you both are kinda similar in your own fucked up way.

- after that day he made a glitter bomb card with a note inside telling you to meet him at his house.

- you arrived and you guys actually worked out well..

- gradually eric started introducing kenny into the group.

- the three of you started planning pranks on the teacher.

- eventually eric started falling. hard.

- you were always so funny and unique with pranks and he loved that.

- eventually asked you out with a cupcake.

“will you go out with me?”

“hm? yeah sure. ..this cupcake doesn’t have arbys sauce and laxatives in it, does it..?”

Kenny :

- to be honest time !! i personally think you guys wouldn’t be enemies.

- more just mutual annoyance.

- i feel like hes not the type to personally hate someone.

- the only reason he would find you annoying is because you would take the girls when he was trying to flirt with them.

“hey doll.”

“you’re talking to me?”

“oh tammy !! exactly who i was looking for!”

- he gets so annoyed because each time he was trying to talk to them you’d interrupt and drag them away to talk to them.

- one day he was fed up with it but didn’t do anything about it.

“how come y/n knows literally every girl i try to flirt with?!”

“because dude, y/n is cool and popular. their going to know everyone dude.”

“yeah bro.”

“plus they hang around the girls as well”

- after that, you kinda stopped hanging around the girls since they were doing a whole protest about something that you didnt want to be involved with.

- kenny eventually just say you walking around the school, just being yourself.

- he oddly, like it. he liked seeing you act like yourself. not pretend like you did with the girls.

- eventually he invited you to game night with the boys.

- you guys played dnd and had fun!

- after that, kenny would invite you to game night more and you eventually unironically replaced butters.

- you and kenny slowly became close friends and he became more possessive over you.

- one day he had enough of these thoughts about you and just asked you out out of the blue.

“hey y/n! doll!”

“hm? oh hey ken.”

“wanna date?”

“uh sure?”

Stan :

- if im going to be honest.. he doesn’t get enemies, except for craig.

- he definitely gets angry but doesn’t hate you.

- he probably got jealous because of you though, that what ticked him off.

- this is probably right after stan and wendy broke up

- you were wendy’s friend but also being stans.

- he once saw you comforting wendy and he got jealous.

“that backstabbing bitch! y/n is with wendy right now.”

“..dude i thought you said you were over wendy.”

“i- i am but still!”

- complained about you to the boys, slowly he would have something against you.

- since you were also friends with him he would give you a moody response when he replied back.

“how are you holding up, stan?”

“fine. just fine. its not like you care.”

- became more cold and colder.

“god look at y/n over there. at the swings with wendy.”

“dude, why are you looking at y/n so much. do you like them or something.”

“what?? no?”

- he kept looking over at you and he slowly started noticed little details of you.

- how you bite your nails when your shy, how pretty you look when your studyin.. wait.. what..

- slowly started noticing more details about you and since you were friends with him he would hang out with you more.

- became more touchy while you hang out.

- he realised now you were just being nice to both sides. trying to be there for both.

- wrapping his arms around your waist while you two walked together.

- blushing as you talk to him.

- eventually he bottles up all his feels about you and breaks down but in a good way?

- going to your house at 3am, crying as you hold him in your arms on your bed.

“and- and my dad keeps putting all this pressure and me and i love you and its so fucking difficult.”

“i know stan, i know… its alright.. wait. you love me..?”

[bullet-prooflove]

4500 Follower Celebration Bingo - Family: Mitch Ripley x Reader

Tagging: @spaghettificationandpretzels @mini-bee-bee @mandy426 @phoward89 @kmc1989

The reason Mitch has an indefinite invitation to Sunday Dinner.

Companion piece to:

Winter Blues - Mitch struggles during the winter months.

Emergency Contact - You help Mitch out in a tricky situation.

Big Heart - How it starts between you and Mitch.

You’re on a date. Mitch can see that from his position at the other end of the bar where he sits nursing a beer, waiting for his friend Alec to turn up. You’re dressed to the nines in a pretty blue dress that brings out the hues in your eyes and heels that are giving him thoughts he shouldn’t be having about someone he considers a close friend.

The guy you’re with, he’s handsy. He’s constantly leaning in close, touching you. Mitch can tell you don’t like it by your body language. You’re angled away from him, edged on the furthest part of your seat.

You’ll stay for one drink he summarises before you make your excuses.

It’s when you return from the bathroom that he realises that something’s wrong, there’s an unsteadiness to your motions, an odd vacant smile on your features. If he didn’t know any better he’s say you were high but he knows that’s not your style.

You have very strong opinions on drugs especially after seeing the damage they do on a daily basis, you wouldn’t put yourself or your job at risk. He’s already on his feet and heading towards you before your date can step in.

“Marley.” He says as he loops his arm around your waist and you tuck yourself against him as if it’s the most natural thing in the world.

“Mitch,” You says excitedly, your fingertips grazing across his cheekbone. “I didn’t know you were here.”

He flinches at your touch because he doesn’t expect it. He’s reserved with his affection, he doesn’t like people in his personal space and you have always respected that. The fact you’re touching him so intimately is an side effect of whatever drug has been slipped into your drink. GHB, he suspects.

There had been a notice from CPD just this week for medical staff to be aware that they’d seen a spike of GHB related sexual assaults. There had been six in as many weeks, always occurring on a Friday or Saturday night. He looks to the bar but your date has disappeared, probably thrown off by Mitch’s appearance.

He knows ambulance times are slammed at this point in the evening so he hails a cab and takes you to Med. You take two steps the E.D and pass out, he barely manages to catch you in time. He ends up carrying you into Bay 2, your head tucked against his chest as he describes his suspicions to Maggie and Connor Rhodes. He waits outside while they examine you, taking your phone to call your parents as Doris contacts CPD.

He's still by your bedside, researching the long term effects of GHB on the nervous system when you finally wake up hours later completely disorientated.

“You’re safe.” Is the first thing he tells you as he squeezes your hand. “Your mom’s just gone to the café to grab some coffee, she’ll be right back.”

“I don’t understand what happened.” You say as you squeeze his hand back.

He tries to explain it as gently as he can but he can see you’re getting upset as the reality of the situation dawns on you. He slips out when your mom returns so that he can give his statement to CPD.

It’s as he’s getting ready to leave that your mom catches up with him. Its four in the morning and he’s dead on his feet. Your sleeping peacefully now, under the watchful eyes of medical staff and your mother.

“I want to thank you.” She says sincerely as she clasps both of his hands in hers. “Marley’s the only girl in our family and the baby, we’re all very protective of her. I dread to think what would have happened if you weren’t there.”

She hugs him then and Mitch stiffens because he doesn’t know what to do. He’s never experienced a mother’s affection before, he doesn’t expect it from this woman. He understands in that moment where your compassion comes from, your empathy. This is what real family looks like, the people who are supposed to love you, who care for you.

“Will you tell her I’ll check back in tomorrow?” He says softly as he draws away.

“Of course.” She says with a smile that looks like yours and Mitch tucks his hands into his pockets as he heads towards the exit.

It’s during his shift the following day that the gift basket is delivered. You’ve been discharged into your parents care by then and apparently your mom is driving you crazy. It’s filled with all the healthy snacks he loves as well as a few of his favourite IPAs.

Thank you for taking care of our girl, the card reads.

Mitch snaps a picture of it before he sends it to you with a message that says ‘tell your mom I said thanks’.

You’re part of the family now, you text back and Mitch pauses for a moment as a warm feeling blossoms in this chest.

If there’s any family he’d like to be a part of, it’s certainly yours.

Love Mitch? Don’t miss any of his stories by joining the taglist here.

Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

[lisbeth-kk]

May Prompts (20) Do-Over

The Luckiest Girl in the World (chapter 20)

Summary: Rosie comes home in the middle of the night, and realises that her parents have kept a horrible secret from her.

Twenty Years Old

I tried my best to be quiet when I locked myself in at three in the morning. The intended sleepover at Clare’s had ended abruptly, when her brother had stumbled in around midnight and broken two of his fingers when he tried to find his way in the dark. Being familiar with injuries of all kinds, I insisted on accompany him and a rather hysterical Clare to the closest A&E. That sorted, I decided to go home. Clare’s parents, who had attended a party, were summoned to the hospital as well, and my services weren’t needed anymore. 

When I heard muffled sounds from the living room, I was puzzled. I couldn’t quite discern if one of my parents was talking on the phone, or if they were talking to each other. And then I heard sobbing. Dad. I froze and all kinds of thoughts soared around in my mind.

Had anyone died? Nana? Pops or Granny? 

I didn’t even dare thinking about uncle Myc or Molly. Papa’s words stopped me from opening the door and inquire. His voice was thick with emotions, clearly crying himself.

“I’m sorry, John. I wish she’d never been born!”

The last sentence was delivered with passion and venom.

Who the hell was he talking about?

“It’s not your fault, my love,” Dad croaked. “You didn’t remember her. She knew what she was doing. Stop blaming yourself.”

“But you’re still suffering, and it’s been years,” Papa protested, the devastation pouring out of his voice.

“Only a vicious nightmare because of the events earlier today, Sherlock. She can’t harm us anymore now,” Dad soothed. “Let’s go back to bed.”

I exhaled shakily, only then realising I’d been holding my breath for too long. Slowly, I ascended to my room, knowing that sleep wouldn’t grace me with its presence tonight. Only one option, then.

Are you available? Need to talk. I’m home.

A car will pick you up in twenty minutes. UM

***

No sounds were coming from Dad and Papa’s bedroom when I snuck down the stairs twenty minutes later. A nondescript driver nodded at me when I slid into the back seat of one of my uncle’s cars. I was surprised to see that the car stopped outside uncle Myc’s house and not the Diogenes Club. I suddenly felt bad for interrupting his sleep.

“No need to apologise, Rosamund,” uncle Myc assured me before I’d even said a word. “We had just woken up. Gregory was called away to a crime scene.”

“Right. Perhaps for the best,” I said hesitantly, while I curled up in one of the comfortable armchairs.

“Your parents don’t know you’re here,” he stated.

“No. Hopefully I managed to sneak out soundlessly. I…overheard something when I came home. Unexpectedly. I was supposed to spend the night at Clare’s, but a trip to the A&E put a stop to that,” I sighed.

Uncle Myc cocked an eyebrow at the mentioning of the hospital.

“Clare’s brother. Broken fingers. She went hysterical, so I…”

“You took it upon yourself to accompany them. Being a comforting presence. Just like your father,” he summarised.

Despite my distress, I had to chuckle a bit. I wondered if he was aware of how much he reminded me of Papa in such moments. Probably, I concluded.

I gave him a clinical summary of what I’d heard back at 221B. He inhaled sharply and clenched the armrests so hard his knuckles whitened. His eyes closed and a pained expression manifested on his face. Years of practise paid off because when he opened his eyes again, he was his normal calm self. 

He told me about his and Papa’s sister Eurus and what she’d done as a child and that she’d been locked up at a place called Sherrinford. I was shocked beyond belief, and braced myself when uncle’s look got even more sombre, after he’d uttered the words: “and then she managed to escape.”

“Dad was trapped in that well, and Papa…”

I had a hard time grasping all this mind-blowing and horrific information.

“Yes,” uncle interrupted.

There was no need to tell that tale one more time.

“So, why now, do you think? Dad’s nightmare, I mean.”

“Ah, yes. I got a call from Sherrinford yesterday. Eurus fell into a coma. She never woke and died a few hours later. We all went there yesterday to confirm and bury her,” he told me and clenched his jaw tight.

She was his little sister, I thought, and tears started to stream down my cheeks.

“Don’t,” he said fiercely when I was about to rise and go over to hug him. 

“But, uncle Myc, she was your…”

“She was a predator, a manipulator, a cold-blooded killer. Eurus stopped being my baby sister long ago, Rosamund, and I’m glad she’s dead. It means that one of the heavier burdens I’ve been forced to bear, is finally lifted off my shoulders.”

“I still want to hug you,” I whispered. “We could both need one, I think.”

Uncle Myc stood and opened his arms. He held me tight, and I buried my nose in his chest and inhaled the familiar scent of his luxurious aftershave.

“Thank you for keeping us safe,” I murmured and rubbed his back.

“A privilege, my dear,” he assured me with a steady voice. “The guest room is ready for you. No need to go back to Baker Street at this hour.”

“How can anyone think of you as a heartless person, Mycroft Holmes?” I asked fondly and stroked his cheek.

His blush and muteness spoke volumes. He was just as sentimental as his younger brother.

(Canon do-over)

Also available on AO3

@calaisreno @totallysilvergirl @keirgreeneyes @helloliriels @raina-at

More tags in the replies

[sweeter-than-teafood]

Sitri: Attacker Card -Prologue

TW: Mentions of potions, simulated death, Sitri is about to have a bad time, not a lot happens in this part simply because it’s the prologue.

AN: Okay~ I’m so happy to get this finally up together, it’s been nearly two months since I started this fic. I was inspired by yanano-hiresei’s Sitri Bloodshed Card artwork, it’s so incredible <3

Enjoy~

——————————————————

Paradise Lost

“You’re certain this will work?”

Ra-On glanced up from the medicine bottle in her hand, into the emerald eye of Marbas. He gave a soft smile in response.

“Of course, I’m sure. I’ve tested it myself, dear. If you don’t believe me, ask Morax, he will vouch for the temporary lack of vital signs caused by this draught.”

The human nodded. She gently gripped the bottle, as she savoured the cold sensation of the glass against her palms. She seemed intrigued.

“So, this will stop my heartbeat and breathing, but I’ll still be alive? How does that work?” Is it magic?”

Marbas tilted his head, as he pondered the human’s question.

“No, no. It’s strictly herbalism. With Buer’s guidance, I carefully selected the plants that, when combined, offer the closest thing to death that you can experience. Although, you’ll still be able to perceive the world around you, akin to a coma.”

He stopped himself, as he realised that was no way to summarise how the potion worked. There were centuries of herbal knowledge involved in its making, and Ra-On likely had only a basic understanding. He let out a soft sigh,

“Ah, to answer your question on how it works, that requires a lengthy explanation. I would explain it, but I can see that you already want to head off and put that potion to use. Maybe some other day, when we have the time, if you’d like.”

His eye shone with curiosity, “Now, I have a question for you. What do you intend to use that potion for?”

The human glanced up at him, a small grimace formed on her lips.

“I… It’s personal. I have some doubts that I need to confirm, I hope you understand.”

Marbas nodded in understanding, smiling slightly, “Of course. I won’t ask you to divulge if you don’t feel comfortable. All I ask is that you’re careful, okay?”

Ra-On giggled at the devil’s wry smile before she quickly leaned in to kiss him on the cheek.

“Thank you for doing this for me, I’ll see you later!”

The bandaged devil tried to fend off the heat that crept up his cheeks, as he waved to Ra-On.

“Remember, dear, take only half a bottle. If anything happens, please call me right away.”

The Descendant of Solomon nodded, and skipped through the door that would transport her back to Gehenna.

———————————-

Gehenna

Ra-On sat on her bed, medicine bottle in hand. She uncapped it, before staring down the neck of the bottle. It had a pleasant floral scent and resembled a watery cough syrup.

“Okay, half a bottle. Sounds easy enough.”

Ra-On gulped down half, before she capped the bottle. She anticipated an immediate effect to occur, though nothing seemed to occur.

“Huh? Nothing is happening. What gives?”

She shrugged, as she uncapped the bottle and drank the other half, before she set it down in a drawer within the wooden nightstand that sat to the left of her bed. Her eyes and limbs gradually grew heavy. She let out a quiet yawn, stretching her arms above her head.

“Well, I guess this is it. No going back now.”

She reclined against the pillows and pulled the blanket up to her chin. Her eyes closed fully, and her breathing settled to a halt.

Unbeknownst to her, the devil she wanted to see was just outside her door, with a loaded tea tray in his arms.

Knock Knock

“Solomon? It’s morning, so I brought you some tea.”

When the human didn’t answer, Sitri assumed that she was asleep. He balanced the tea tray on one arm, while opening the door with his other hand.

At a quick glance, Ra-On was peacefully asleep. Sitri let out a soft chuckle at the sight.

“Solomon, you shouldn’t sleep in like this. Besides, I’ve acquired a new tea blend that I think you’ll like.”

He placed the tray upon the window ledge, before turning his attention to the dormant human.

Unease filled him. His gut was telling him that something was out of place. But what could be wrong on a day like this?

The sun was shining.

There were no angel attacks.

The sound of a heartbeat was the only noise that punctuated the silence.

“Wait…That doesn’t sound like Solomon’s heartbeat.”

Just to confirm, Sitri pressed his fingers to his neck. He could feel his pulse bounding in time with the heartbeat resounding in his ears.

He looked over at the human who had yet to stir from their slumber as anxiety filled his senses.

“Solomon?”

He approached the bedside, gently shaking her shoulder. Surely her heartbeat was muffled by her thick sweater and the plush bedsheets.

‘That’s it,” Sitri thought, trying to bargain with himself, ‘I can’t hear her heartbeat because of obstacles in the way.’

“Forgive me for this.”

He pulled back the sheets and settled his ear to her chest.

He waited, silently begging for her heart to beat, even if it was slowly, then she wasn’t gone at least. Silence was all he heard within her chest.

He recoiled in horror, standing up quickly. His eyes were wide, as he glanced at the unmoving human, devoid of any vital signs.

[pandorafallz]

Ashes in her wake | C4

Things did not get better, Alma found as the day progressed and ultimately, she found herself sitting outside to take a break from the mood inside. Her side ached a little still but it was normal since she hadn’t taken her tea to taper it off yet. Later.

Alma had tried reintegrating back with the Resistance but it had become hard to do so. No one wanted to listen and if they did they always looked at her weirdly and even then did what she asked with very little motivation.  She even changed back into her old clothing once she had found them to help regain her image but that did little to help.

The vibe around everything was thick and cloying. Contempt. Everyone knew now of what she had been a part of and now… they hated her. She knew it all too well but she had hoped some would be professional, like Nalin or Alex. Even So’lek was the most respectable despite his personal feelings but she had a hunch it was simply to keep the peace.

She felt… like an unwelcome outsider that no one had the guts to talk to. Not even a day back and this was her response back. How could she lead them when they clearly did not want her around? They didn’t respect her and while she had tried, it was clearly becoming futile. She had been gone a week.

Her human body burned and potted—something she needed to check on and sort out once she got up—and something she had a feeling people had seen. Jin-young had lost colour in his face and barely met her eye when they saw each other earlier. Priya had also avoided her due to the nudging of Anqa.

Alma hadn’t seen much of the Sarentu, aside from seeing Teylan turn and walk away when they almost crossed paths which was… hurtful but she made no comment or drew attention to it. So talking to Teylan was simply a no-go regardless. Kìoetey or Ri’nela were her only options then.

Ri’nela still avoided her but Alma had seen her talk and direct the resistance members and… they listened. They listened to Ri’nela. They respected Ri’nela… or did they follow Ri’nela’s word for the sake of it? Was Ri’nela eager to resume a leadership role by taking from her? Sure, she herself hadn’t been around for a week so it made sense someone had to fill her shoes but now she was back nothing changed for the Sarentu. Everyone acted like Ri’nela was in charge still.

She should talk to her soon about restabilising her role at the very least. Maybe then people would respect her position?

The sound of feet turned her attention to see Kìoetey hovering a little, a frown on her brightly painted face and her lips pursed.

“Kìoetey?” Alma carefully got back to her feet, wincing a little but held back the hiss as the pain sharply ran through her ribs. “I’m… glad to see you.”

“Ri’nela told me you were back.” Kìoetey stated, her voice oddly neutral “I thought you’d be inside.”

“I was but people aren’t being exactly friendly.” Alma admitted, “I wanted some privacy away from the heavy atmosphere.”

Kìoetey hummed, her eyes running over the area. “Perhaps it’d be best if you stayed somewhere else for now?”

Alma blinked in surprise. “Excuse me?”

“At a field lab. T-To make it easier for everyone.” Kìoetey said more quickly, looking a little bashful at her wording. “Lots... a lot of people saw you die... or your body at the least. It’ll take time for some of them to get used to your presence again.”

“For you and the other Sarentu to have that distance from me?” Alma summarised, feeling the hurt of that. Like a sting to her heart, even if it was valid and well-deserved.

The Sarentu’s eye twitched. “That… is part of it.” Kìoetey acknowledged. “It’s… a lot to process and we’ve just come back from righting the RDA early this morning. Mercer is dead now. Harding pulled back to Bridgehead. We’re all still recovering. We… need time, Cortez.”

Alma dropped her gaze. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m not here for your apology,” Kìoetey stated before she took a deep breath. “One day, I will be willing to hear it but that’s not now.”

“I don’t know what to say… or do. I know I should have trusted you with the truth sooner.”

“Much sooner.” Her tone hardened.

“I just… I didn’t want to distract you from the fight with Mercer.” The words left her lips without thought and she immediately knew it was the wrong thing to say even before Kìoetey reacted.

Anger seeped straight into the teenager’s face. “A distraction?!”

“No, No, I did not mean it like that!” Alma backtracked with a sinking gut. “I’m sorry, that came out wrong. I’m still not 100% and—”

“Stop.”

Alma deflated, shrinking back a little at the commend, her arms wrapping around her middle and it took everything not to step back as Kìoetey stepped into her face with a dark stare.

“You hide behind your excuses and you withheld until you couldn’t hide it any more. Until we forced you to tell us. You were never going to tell us freely so don’t you dare try and defend your omissions and lack of actions. The truth is that you’re a coward, Alma Cortez.” Kìoetey said, her eyes still blazing. “You were too afraid to handle the grief and shame that would come your way for it and you hid inside your avatar too long to see yourself. Now you never will with the death of your human form. The wrong body died.”

Alma looked away, her heart thumping fast inside her chest, her throat tight as if a thick rope was bound around her neck.

Kìoetey looked like she was prepared to continue but she took a deep breath and stepped back. “Give us time, Cortez.” She turned and stormed her way back inside.

-

Alma didn’t leave the site for another twenty minutes as her heart ached with the weight of the girl’s words, a part of her trying to find the strength to move before she trudged back in, barely looking at anyone as she slunk into the airlock.

Pain in her side was the main reason to move and led her back towards the med-bay but Alex coming that way stepped into her path after he saw her, almost lighting up like a displeased puppy.

“Cortez, can we talk?”

Alma frowned, “Let me get some meds first.” Hopefully, it’d take the edge off… everything right now. It was barely afternoon so it wasn’t like she could go to bed early or something to sit the uncomfortable out.

“Alright, meet me in the link room. It’s a private space we can use.” Alex decided and walked off without another word.

Her stomach turned a little more, tensing up considerably with uncertainty. What did he wish to talk to her about? Nothing that felt good or reassuring either. She respected Alex a lot and it had been mutual for years. Now he looked at her like some of the others; distanced. She hoped Nalin gave her something strong.

-

Nalin in fact did not.

Three pills (since two was too weak for Na’vi biology to have much effect) and some water to wash it down with before Nalin sent her on her way, too busy to really sit and talk as Jason, an engineer, came in with a new wound. He gave her a scathing look as she left but thought little of it.

Stepping into the link room, she was met with a surprising sight. The room itself was completely changed over; a wooden desk (courtesy of Jin-young no doubt) with a monitor and computer setup. The uneven cave wall had a new corkboard set on with sketches and drawings of RDA bases, schematics and a spare mask container hanging lonely. The link bed was there, decommissioned, but it looked like a shelving unit had been crafted over the top, enabling it to be integrated into the clear storage area that had boxes and books as well.

The empty walls had some hand-paintings of shapes and plants as well, simply giving it more life and LED lights helped illuminate the area.

Alex was there, talking with So’lek and Ri’nela before they turned to face her. She eyed them carefully, her stomach churning again.

“What’s going on?” Alma asked carefully, entering deeper despite wanting to linger by the door. No, don’t be a coward.

So’lek nodded to Alex mostly to start so he took a loud breath.

“Cortez, we’ve been talking and we’re here to ask you to step down from being the Resistance’s leader.” Alex started, looking apologetic as he moved around the desk.

Alma’s ears rose in alarm then pinned back. “…What?”

Alex sighed deeply. “You’re still recovering. Physically but a lot emotionally given your… situation. It would be in the Resistance’s best interest if you willingly step down and allow Ri’nela to take your place instead.”

Alma’s eyes remained wide, her arm coming around herself. “I’ll heal. I’ll be fine.” She stated, her jaw tensing. She couldn’t simply just lose her job like that. She needed to be here. Needed to be important. Needed to be useful.

She had nothing else.

So’lek stepped forwards. “Alma, I know you fear losing your position but it is for the best and for the Resistance to function well. Your actions carry weight and it’s not a weight our allies can afford.” He sounded kind as he spoke. Oddly empathetic.

“I… I can’t.” Alma shook her head. “No.”

“Alma…” So’lek moved.

“I can’t just abandon my job, So’lek.” Alma’s breath shook, “I don’t know what use I can be elsewhere. Jake put me here himself. He chose me.”

“You lied to him.” Alex pointed out. “You lied to us. All of us about what you did in the name of the RDA. You lied so you wouldn’t be forced back to Earth. You knew he would have if he knew about TAP.”

Alma flinched a little. “I’ll apologise—“

“We’re past apologies right now, Cortez.” Alex interrupted. “I’ll be blunt then. The Resistance has lost their trust in you. For pretending to have no part in the genocide of a clan. For the lies you told and maintained since we’ve been out here. How can we follow you when you have done that to us? To the Sarentu?”

Alma couldn’t meet his eye, even as he reached and touched her thigh with a soft squeeze. Her eyes felt hot and stung with unshed tears. Her head felt a little light but her heart thumped loudly through her ears. A part of her felt a little numb… like this wasn’t actually happening.

“I don’t enjoy doing this, Alma. I truly don’t but people need time. You cannot lead them. They won’t accept that. You cannot force yourself to stay in a position when no one will follow you.”

“Two days.” So’lek said, “For your answer.”

“So’lek” Alex turned but the Na’vi raised his hands to silence the man.

“You have two days to agree,” So’lek stated again, now allowing Alex to disagree.

Alma’s jaw remained tight before she swallowed the thickness and walked out.

-

“Cortez…” Alex felt his heart sink to see Cortez walk out without another word. He knew it was hard for the woman to hear but it had to be done. Smoothly and with her willingness was best for everyone. It was more respectable for her to hand those keys over, so to speak. “So’lek, why barter with her on it?” He turned to face the Na’vi with an inquisitive look. Why make a futile offer? The resistance wasn’t following Cortez and hadn’t been for the last week, even if it wasn’t officially.

“She needs to process it.” So’lek answered, “What she has now in terms of the resistance is simply an illusion of control. She had no power or a voice anymore but she’d not accepted that yet. The lack of control is new to her and I sense she’s very scared of what that means for herself. I’ve noticed that Humans are resistant to change and Alma is no different. She’ll see within the next two days and the illusion will drop. She’ll accept it. Taking it so suddenly will be more traumatic and I think it’ll be harder to handle her in such a state.”

Alex blinked at the surprising insight that… made a lot of sense. He forgot So’lek was very observant but of a human? He thought So’lek was more in tune with Na’vi. Sure, Cortez was in her avatar for good now but that didn’t make her Na’vi either. Not like Jake who had been invited to be one of the people and actively lived as one of them. Cortez was too different. Too human. Shedding her Na’vi clothes as soon as she found her old set was a clear sign she had no intention of being more active in Na’vi culture beyond an observer.

So’lek still had a good read, nonetheless. Alex would respect him for that.

Two days. That was probably a good amount of time to start integrating new arrangements. Still, they needed Cortez to write down shit they’d need to update the eastern Resistance members and how Jake contacts her about stuff. It was those small things they needed right now.

“What if she still declines?”

“Then she will simply have to wallow on the side-lines. She knows she will lose the position regardless.” So’lek shook his head and picked up his bow from where he had set it. “If you need me, I’ll speak to Ri’nela about this. Let her know of the plan to avoid her snapping at Alma too soon.”

“Okay.” Sounded fair. Ri’nela would probably respond better to So’lek anyway. Her trust in him was far stronger than in the humans. Alex retook his seat back at his desk before So’lek left without another word.

-

Alex finished up some notes, finalising the reports on the tablet that Cortez would need to fill out before his attention turned to see Jason in the doorway his bandaged hand raised towards the board about to knock but paused when he was spotted.

“You busy?” Jason was a pale man with dark blond hair, brown eyes and scruffy attire which was very typical for him. He had been about since the first go with the rest of them, helping maintain their air filters with Jin and helping update equipment with the new stuff. Very helpful scavenger, really.

“No, come in.” He greeted warmly.

Jason looked relieved, sparing a glance back first before he sidled in and leaned against the left side wall. “So, Alex, I was wondering… when is Cortez leaving?”

Alex paused, his eyes rising up from his desk in surprise at such an abrupt statement. “Leaving?”

Jason nodded. “Me and the others in the resistance were talking and… we don’t think Cortez should come back.”

“Jason…” Alex set his tablet down.

“Please hear me out,” Jason asked, his hands coming together. “I know it… a bold thing to do and to ask but… I think we should cut her loose. Like what the Kame’tire clan did with Mokasa. It’s the same crime, Alex. Why not give her the same punishment? What Nor did to her is irrelevant to the crime; he basically gave her the body she wanted for good. She can survive in the blue body than her human one. That makes all the difference in our request. As a human, she’d have to rely on us to survive and our food. But now…”

“We’re not banishing her. She’s still our ally and we need as many of those as possible.” Alex rose to his feet uneasily. He didn’t like this. “How many people want her out?”

“Think I’d come up here with a few people wanting her out?” His tone turned dry and he snorted a little. “No. It’s about… I’d say half of the humans here would be far more comfortable without her at the resistance. Me, Jax, Johnson, Chu, Anqa… just to name a few but we can get it all in writing. You’d be a great help of course; she’d respect it coming from you.”

Alex groaned a little, mentally backpedalling on the last name. “Anqa?”

Jason nodded, “She’s pretty pissed off as well. Heard her talking to Kìoetey all about how low Cortez went in comparison to her life in the RDA. Seemed pretty disgusted by how Cortez fawned over the Sarentu once she got them to the resistance while knowing her crimes. Kìoetey did agree with that.”

Alex could feel a soft thumping in his head already. “Look, we’re not kicking her out. She’s only just returned and it’s been a difficult day for her as it is. Let her be.”

“Can you at least think about it?” Jason begged, “The last week without her has been great and now she’s back, everything feels too weird. An elephant in the room that will never go away. We don’t know what to do or say to her. Don’t you think it might benefit the Sarentu to be away from someone like her? We all did bad shit but she helped kill their entire clan. We can’t have the blood of her past on our hands either, Alex. Her actions reflect on all of us. What if the clans don’t respect us because of her? It’s fragile enough as it is-”

Alex raised his hand. “Enough.”

Jason deflated a little, sucking on his teeth a moment before nodding. “Let… let us know when you’ve decided, Doc. If she stays, some of us may bounce elsewhere.” He pushed himself from the wall and padded out.

Alex stared after him, his gut feeling too tense now. Getting Cortez to step down was one thing but this? To send her away? To where? Who would take her? Would the Sarentu even support the idea? So’lek wouldn’t—that was a given—despite his personal feelings, he saw value in Cortez’s presence here as an ally.

But if Jason was being serious then a good portion of humans threatening to leave would be a significant loss, but also unlikely to actually happen; it sounded like an empty threat to force him to consider… but they had safe areas in the western area. Field labs would be used which would still benefit the resistance but they still lose out on immediate manpower.

The choice wasn’t his to decide either but could he really put that weight onto Ri’nela’s shoulders on top of the leadership mantle? The girl had a lot of anger towards Cortez and justifiably so but… what if they agreed and they regretted it? What if they agreed and only some of them regretted it? What would it look like if they got rid of her and no one cared? How would they be respected for cutting someone away like that? Would the clans understand like they did with Mokasa?

Why did this have to turn more complicated?

“Damn….”

Masterlist

[arty-shadow-morningstar]

Who Made Me a Villain (5)

To the ppl who read my fics only on tumblr, I am sorry. I have been posting a lot on ao3 and I keep forgetting that I have a tumblr acc. I will try to be more mindful in the future.

--------

[Masterlist] [Ao3]

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Here) (Part 6)

-----

“B, what’s all this?” Dick asked during one of his visits to Gotham. He was here for Alfred’s cooking.

Upon seeing the eye bags on Bruce, Dick was understandably worried. “Have you slept at all, Bruce?”

“A few days ago, Rebel brought something serious to my attention.”

Bruce had spent days working on the case Rebel had dropped into his lap. He felt that she had summarised the situation too simply. Or she was unaware of what the full extent of the situation was due to her lack of experience and knowledge.

John Constantine was unhelpful in getting more information on the Miraculous but did confirm their presence in Paris in the same period Rebel had given. Rebel had given more information than him.

Zatanna said that she would sort through her father’s journals to give him a definite answer but told him that it was likely Rebel was telling the truth about Paris. There were surges of the magical equivalent of earthquakes from Paris which her father had gone to check out a few years ago.

Diana had overheard their conversation and talked about how her mother used to wield the Ladybug Miraculous. She promised to talk to her mother for more information. Bruce decided to ask Doctor Fate later if his research wasn’t enough.

However, the thing that had Bruce tearing apart his training dummies like they were paper was the good-for-nothing, sham of a man that Paris had for a mayor.

Mayor André Bourgeois had blocked all news about the akuma from getting out of the city. He didn’t report about it to the Justice League European branch and blocked all attempts to prevent others from reporting it. His reasoning was that the child heroes were enough. That was just the political side of things.

To further make things worse, the heroes who were stationed in France all claimed to have been told to be relocated to other cities by the Justice League Headquarters. They did as they were told under the assumption that someone else would be filling in for them. Just before Hawkmoth struck.

Bruce investigated that lead and it appears that someone had sent out that order but Bruce hadn’t figured out who it was yet or whether it really was sent by one of the Justice League. Either they had a mole or the JL Headquarters needed a new update to their systems.

Then, one of Zatanna’s contacts in Paris had informed her that magic helped in preventing news of akuma reaching outside of Paris.

By the time Dick came to the Manor, Bruce was hours deep into the many footage he had spent the most of the day collecting from the internet. He started with the first akuma where Ladybug and Chat Noir were practically strangers shoved together and forced to rely on each other. He didn’t like that the Parisians were forcing the love narrative between the two of them. Ladybug had the sense to focus on her job and remain professional while Chat Noir tried to enforce the love story. He was not pleased with that interview.

The Ladyblog that was run by a very dedicated teenager was very helpful in getting raw footage of most fights, albeit a bit shaky and blurry. He was currently watching the blog owner’s interview with Ladybug. How she got an interview with the very elusive heroine Batman doesn’t know. There was something about the heroine that caught his attention. It felt like he had met Ladybug before.

Dick skimmed over the notes Batman had taken. He whistled. “This is pretty crazy.”

“Why are you doing all of this research?” Dick asked.

“Hawkmoth. I am trying to track him down.”

“Wait, you are telling me that there is a powerful supervillain in Paris and these kids are heroes? They look like babies. They don’t even know how to properly fight.”

“We are already too late. Hawkmoth has been defeated and stripped of his powers.”

“So what’s the problem? Is he coming back?”

Bruce sighed heavily and showed off his days of research to Dick.

“Rebel had been planning something for months. Something big. I asked the reason behind it all. She asked me to bring him to justice and she would call it all off. Apparently, the leader of the hero team, Ladybug, gave Hawkmoth the equivalent of the slap on the wrist and Rebel doesn’t agree with him being off the hook that easily. He got his wife in exchange for giving back the Miraculous under his possession and didn’t face consequences for his little foray into villainy.”

“How does she know what happened to Hawkmoth?” Dick asked, “It just says that no akumas was seen for a month and then, Ladybug announced that Hawkmoth was defeated before disappearing forever.”

“According to her, Rebel used to be one of the heroes going against Hawkmoth.” Bruce told him.

Dick nearly fumbled the file in his hand due to the surprise.

“Oh. Um. That- That explained a few things. The experience in fighting. Those acrobatic stunts. Former hero, huh.”

It left a bitter taste in his mouth. The thought of somebody who was once a hero turning to the dark side.

Dick changed the subject. “Any luck finding him?”

“I have one suspect. He’s the one that fits the profile.”

Bruce handed Dick a file.

“Gabriel Agreste.”

Dick looked through it. “He’s a fashion designer. That doesn’t exactly scream evil to me.”

“Even without Rebel’s hints. He’s still suspicious.” Bruce said. “I am meeting him in a month to get a feel for him.”

Dick closed the file. “Even if he is Hawkmoth, it’s been a few years since his defeat. We can’t just take him in.”

Bruce suddenly looked very tired.

Tim popped up from where the pile of blankets besides the Batcomputer that Dick hadn’t noticed. Dick’s and Bruce’s voices have woken him up.

Dick definitely did not scream.

“Tim! How long were you there?” Dick asked, putting his escrima sticks away.

“A few hours I think.” Tim replied and yawned.

“Anyhoo,” Tim started, “Rebel had already taken care of that part. She had been using different accounts to sow seeds of conspiracy theories and rumours for people online to find Hawkmoth’s true identity. No mention of Gabriel being Hawkmoth or it won’t be taken seriously if the truth comes out. I think she is trying to spread the idea that Hawkmoth must be taken in to face the legal system.”

“Why is she going that far?”

Bruce was silent for a moment. “Hawkmoth was part of the reason she was framed for murder.”

“Framed? Why do you think that she was framed? Her father is the Joker. The Joker. The one who killed Jason.”

Bruce stiffened. Jason had left Gotham after their last showdown. Last Bruce heard of him, Jason had teamed up with Roy Harper to form his own mercenary team.

“I know. But children are not their parents.”

Bruce handed Dick another file.

“Her case file and the transcript of her trial. Read it and draw your own conclusions.” Bruce instructed.

Dick took it.

“You are not going to like it, Dick.” Tim said.

—--

A day later, Dick came back, storming into the Batcave.

He slammed the file in front of Bruce.

“What the fuck is wrong with people? How did something like this get past you?” Dick demanded furiously.

There was the last thing that was cherry on the icing of the cake that was this whole situation.

-

Rebel was not supposed to be in Arkham Asylum. She was not supposed to get a life sentence. She was not supposed to have fourteen charges of first-degree homicide to her name.

Dick read the trial proceeding.

It was way over exaggerated and very dramatised. He thought that he was reading the script for a courtroom soap opera drama. Dick even went as far as to hack into the French government to get the untranslated copy of the files and it was just as bad but in French. It didn’t take him long to find the blatant amount of bribes that were tossed around. The very obvious abuse of power. Every odds was stacked against Rebel. The unnecessary DNA test that unfortunately brought her to Gotham.

No wonder Marinette Dupain-Cheng turned to a life of crime. Everyone was dead set on labelling her the bad guy.

Then, he read Gabriel Agreste’s involvement in the case. His son was part of Rebel’s old class. Their classmates spoke about Rebel’s stalker tendencies towards him. But Dick kept an open mind, knowing how exaggerated everything was. Gabriel had blacklisted Rebel from every company in the fashion industry he had connections with. That move confused Dick until he found out that Rebel was trying to be an aspiring designer. It was essentially salt in her wounds.

Dick simply couldn’t understand the witch hunt against Rebel. 

-

“Bruce, we have to do something about this.” Dick said.

“The only thing we can do right now is bring Hawkmoth in before Rebel takes it into her own hands.”

“What do you mean by that?” Dick asked.

Tim injected. “You already know that Rebel had been acting suspicious for the past few months. She had been meeting up with several different villains and secret projects we couldn’t figure out until now.”

“We found a warehouse in Washington connected to her that contained these strange stone statues.”

Bruce pulled up a picture of the stone statues in the warehouse.

“Now look at the clip of the first akuma attack.”

Bruce played a clip of Stoneheart attack. The monster looked similar to the stone statues in the photo.

“Going through the akuma fights and her movements in the past few months. It is obvious what she is trying to plan.”

Picture of Rebel talking to many different ice villains with a powerpoint presentation and a clip of the Glaciator attack.

Picture of a machine that could create floods that the Teen Titan had managed to shut down a few years back and picture of Paris being flooded.

Picture of Weather Wizard, next to a picture of Stormy Weather.

“She’s trying to recreate akuma fights.” Dick concluded. “And making it seem like Hawkmoth was back.”

Bruce nodded gravely. “I wouldn’t have figured it out if Rebel didn’t deliberately let me in on her plans. She exposed a great problem we had missed. She is giving us, the League, a chance to rectify our mistake.”

Rebel was not counting on the legal justice system to bring Hawkmoth to justice. She was counting on him as Batman to make sure that Hawkmoth ended up with the same fate as her. His reputation torn apart and dragged through mud. Behind bars for the rest of his life with the supervillain mark following him everywhere.

Or she will forcefully do it by bringing the whole world down to force the Justice League in carrying it out.

“Without Ladybug’s miraculous power, it would be disastrous for us and we would have a lot of civilian casualties.”

“I don’t think she would do that, Bruce.” Tim argued.

“Then, lock her up.” Dick suggested.

“Arkham is currently in no position to take her in.” Bruce said. He looked resigned.

Dick looked at Tim for an explanation which he helpfully provided. “It was being renovated a few months ago to put in a new security system. In the chaos, her records were wiped out from the system and her physical reports went missing. Every copy was gone. So even if we arrest her now, we have to find a pretty good justification to keep her there legally. We only have these copies because Bruce regularly back-ups the Arkham database onto the Batcomputer and the Bat-net.”

Dick cursed. While they could just put it back, it wasn’t worth the headache if it was erased again.

“What about the police? Won’t they have her records?”

“Same thing. We think she did it when Clayface attacked the police a while back.”

“How about her original case that sent her to Arkham?”

“It was erased too. We need to get to Paris in order to access their database or if she erased her case, then we need to get the physical copy and we would have to go through so much legal bullshit to get it. That will take months.”

“She covered everything.” Dick said, amazed.

“She thought of all the possibilities and covered all of her bases. She had been staying under the radar and not getting caught.” Bruce said.

“He means that he got caught in her traps if we try to catch her.” Tim said with a shit eating grin on his face.

Bruce grumbled.

“You? How did you even get caught?” Dick asked.

“Rube Goldberg machines.” Tim answered.

“Rube what?”

“Here.” Tim opened up Youtube and showed Dick a video of a marble rolling down a pipe and then knocking down a row of dominoes in a spiral which continued to set off a chain of reactions that ended with a ball going neatly through a hoop and triggering a banner that said ‘WOW!’ to pop up.

“So that’s what it is called.” Dick commented. “Aren’t these like super complicated to do? She couldn’t have set them up that quick …unless she had them set up beforehand.”

“According to my research, she has at least 50 of these set up in different locations around Gotham. There are videos of people setting these off on purpose. Rebel is always making more. They usually have victims stuck in a net or a hole. Or have water, paint or liquids splashed onto them.”

“She did that? That picture you sent me where Bruce had yellow pain all over him?”

Bruce glared at Tim.

A derisive snort came from the entrance of the Bat cave.

They all turned to look at the newest addition to the house.

Damian Al Ghul. Well, Damian Al Ghul Wayne now.

“I find it hard to believe that this one petty criminal got the better of all of you.” He said mockingly.

“Damian.” Bruce said. “Even if she is just a petty criminal, she cannot be underestimated. You must never underestimate your opponent, no matter how deceiving they look.”

“Perhaps Father, you and Drake aren’t good at doing your jobs.”

“Like you would be any better catching her.” Tim said under his breath.

“If it was up to me, she would be killed on sight.” Damian continued.

“Damian, we do not kill here. People deserve another chance to redeem themselves.” Bruce explained like he had a thousand times before.

Damian scowled. “I don’t need to kill. I have brought in targets alive before.”

The way he said it implied that those targets were in a state where their hearts were the only things that could still move.

“Do you really believe that you can catch Rebel?” Tim asked.

“I don’t have to believe. I know I can.” Damian answered, disdain in his voice that Tim dared to doubt his skills.

“I bet you can’t.” Tim taunted.

Damian lunged but was stopped by Dick who grabbed his shoulder.

“Boys!” Bruce shouted. “Tim, stop antagonising him. Damian, you know you aren’t allowed to go out on patrol.”

“No!” Damian demanded. “Drake has issued me a challenge. I will not back down. I will prove to him and you that I can catch that petty criminal that goes by Rebel.”

His declaration was filled with the determination and stubbornness that all eleven year olds seemed to possess.

Bruce rubbed his head at the oncoming headache.

He knew that despite whatever he gave, Damian would go behind his back and against his orders to fulfil his self-assigned mission of capturing Rebel.

“Tim, this is all your fault. I am blaming you for this. You will be washing the Batmobile for a month.” Bruce said after some thinking.

“Bruce!” Tim complained. “What did I do?”

“You started it. And Damian, I will let you go after Rebel.”

Damian gave Tim a smug grin.

“However,” Bruce continued. “There will be a few conditions.”

Damian stood up straighter and paid attention. “One, Nightwing will be with you.”

“What? Why, Bruce?” It was Dick.

“I am busy with the Hawkmoth case. Tim and Damian shouldn’t be together. Cass and Steph are busy with their own things. I don’t think Jason wants anything to do with me and he’s out of town. Babara has no desire to watch Damian.”

“Thank you, Bruce.” Oracle’s voice came from the Batcomputer.

“Tch. Grayson is an acceptable choice.” Damian said with a sniff.

“Fine. I can stay for a week or two. Give me a few hours to sort some things out.” Dick threw up his hands in defeat.

“However, he will not be helping you. He is going to be monitoring your every move and he will intervene if it was a life and death situation.” Bruce added.

“Fine.” Damian replied.

“Two, when you bring Rebel in, she should not have sustained any life-threatening and fatal injuries. She should also possess all of her limbs intact.”

Damian scowled harder. “I know my limits. Anything else?”

“Three, do not kill anyone to achieve your goals.”

“Got it.”

“Your deadline to bring her in is in three months. You will report to me on your progress every morning. That’s all. Any questions?”

“No. I will not fail you, Father.” Damian said seriously.

“Does anyone else find this funny?” said Dick. “Son of Batman hunting down daughter of Joker. Children of two arch-enemies repeating history.”

“That only means that I am destined to bring her in.” Damian further solidified his mission.

—--

Forty-eight hours later, found Damian, currently going by Redbird, tied up, covered in green paint and dangled upside-down over a vat of something that smelled utterly foul.

Rebel landed near Nightwing and asked, “So what’s the deal with the new kid?”

Nightwing extended a hand dramatically towards Damian, “That’s Batman’s blood son.”

Rebel frowned. “Is this going to be a thing now? Child of Batman versus child of Joker. Because I really don’t want to hurt the kid that much.”

“I AM NOT A CHILD.” Redbird yelled as he struggled against his restraint. “Nightwing, help me get untied and catch the villain!”

“Would a dip in that kill him?” Nightwing asked, pointing at the vat of whatever that was. He wanted to stay more than 20 feet away due to the smell alone.

Rebel shrugged.

“Probably not. It’s just water from the Gotham River with the contents of the nearest dumpster emptied into it.”

Nightwing shivered. He had taken a dip in the icy cold waters of Gotham River before. It was not pleasant. And the amount of showers he had to take to finally get rid of the smell.

“Good news, Redbird.” Nightwing shouted back. “You won’t die if you fall.”

Redbird threw some words in Arabic that sounded a lot like swears.

“So… I ask again. What’s up with the kid?”

“He thinks that Batman would accept him as the one true heir of the Batman title if he catches you.” Nightwing explained. “It has nothing to do with the blood rivalry thing. He’s trying to prove Batman wrong by trying to succeed in catching you when Batman and Robin - especially Robin - couldn’t catch you.”

“It’s there like a deadline for this? Because I really don’t want to play cats and dogs forever with the gremlin.”

“Oh yeah. There is.”

Rebel smirked. “That means I just have to up my game then. Thanks for the heads up, Bluey.”

Nightwing’s smile faded as he realised his slip-up. “Damn it. Baby Bat is going to kill me.”

“Hey, can I use that nickname?”

“Does it matter if I say no?” Nightwing said.

“Nope.” Rebel said with a laugh as she slipped away into the shadows. 

—--

A Bat signal shone in the night sky. Calling Batman to action.

However, it was not Commissioner Gordon who met Batman on the rooftop that night.

“Commissioner-”  Batman immediately went on guard as a petite figure of Rebel greeted him instead of the broad shoulders of the Commissioner.

“What did you do to him, Rebel?” Batman growled out.

“Chill, Mister Bat, he’s dealing with an anonymous tip off for his latest case at the other side of the city. I just flipped the switch to your nightlight to get your attention. Less messy than other methods, don’t you agree?” Rebel explained as she switched the Bat-signal light off.

He glared at her. “What do you want?”

“A week is up. So what are you going to do?”

Batman gave a tired sigh. To be honest, he had forgotten about the deadline. There were so many things he had to take care of. Starting with the possible Justice League breach. An entire city being under attack and no one noticing until the problem was gone. The investigation into who Hawkmoth was. Finally, dealing with a testy Damian who didn’t take his loss against Rebel well.

“My conclusions showed me that you were telling the truth about akumas. I would like to apologise on the behalf of the Justice League for our massive oversight. You were a child that had to fight a war without support.”

“I won that damn war. Without your help.” Rebel said defensively.

“Yes. You did. I am not criticising your achievement, Rebel. I am just pointing out that you were a child fighting those monsters everyday and some of those monsters had been a family or a friend. You shouldn’t have to carry a burden like that on your shoulders. Even Nightwing had me to look after him until he could step out of my shadow to fly on his own.”

“We weren’t alone.”

“You weren’t. You had other people who were as clueless as you about what to do. No one taught you the basics. You had to learn how to fight all on your own. You had to learn to do it right on the first try because a mistake would cause you everything. I am sorry that we weren’t there to provide that guidance.”

“Why are you apologising for that? You didn’t know.”

Batman’s frown became deeper. “That is exactly the problem. Something this big slipped under our radar.”

He went on to explain about how the oversight occurred. If anything, Rebel looked surprised by the news.

“So you're telling me that I could have had help. I wouldn't have to do it all on my own if it wasn’t for a lot of people meddling.”

She sounded angry. The comment about her doing it all on her own confirmed a theory Batman entertained. There was a little evidence that pointed out otherwise but with magic there was no telling if the evidence wasn’t faked.

“We never realised until now. We have failed you.” Batman apologised.

“Kwami. All this time. I thought you were too busy with your own world-saving to pay attention to Paris. Fucking Mayor Bourgeois. Fuck Magic. Fuck whoever mess with your systems. Fuck Hawkmoth.” Rebel screamed. “What else? What else do I have to know that I didn’t know?”

“That’s mostly it. I am here to get your account of what exactly happened during those years.” Batman paused (Dramatic bitch) “I also need you to confirm the identity of Hawkmoth.”

“Well…” Rebel inclined her head for him to continue.

“Gabriel Agreste.”

Rebel smiled from under her mask. “Bingo. As expected of the World’s Greatest Detective.”

She pulled out a flash drive from her pocket and handed it to Batman. “Here’s everything I wrote down from what I remembered.”

“How did you know I would ask for it?” Batman asked as he took it and put it away in his utility belt.

“I didn’t. I was going to send that to every news station when I start my Armengeddon plans.”

Batman stared at Rebel, waiting for her to hand over her Armengeddon plans she had given the other villains.

Rebel stared back at him defiantly.

“Hand them over.” Batman demanded.

“I already gave you what you needed.” Rebel said with a raised eyebrow, pretending to be oblivious about what Batman wanted.

“What about your Armengeddon plans?”

“Oh. Those plans. Yeah. Gimme a minute.” Rebel reached into her jacket inner pocket and took out a slim notebook. She tossed it to Batman who expertly caught it.

He flipped through it and noticed the jagged edges of pages torn out. He also noticed that none of the plans that involved other villains were in the book.

“Where are the missing plans?” Batman asked harshly.

“You thought it was going to be easy?” Rebel said amused. “I want definite proof that you are working on taking him in.”

“How long do I have to get you proof?” Batman asked cautiously.

“When is the deadline for your son to catch me?”

Batman knew that tone. He had heard that tone from the clown before Joker pulled out the punchline.

“In three months.”  He answered.

“That’s around when the plan is supposed to start anyways. Then, if you don’t have it by the time Redbird catches me, you won’t get the plans. However, if he doesn’t catch me by the three month deadline, you will get the plans and I will tell the others that everything is called off.”

Batman had a feeling that if Rebel wasn’t wearing her mask, there would be a smile on her face identical to the one Joker would usually wear for his maniacal plans.

Children aren’t always their parents. But they sometimes inherit their parent's worst traits.

“Deal.”

What other options did he have but to play along with her games.

—-

After Rebel was gone, Redbird came out of the shadows.

“Father, what is the meaning of this?” He demanded. Redbird had been hiding to unleash a surprise attack when Rebel proposed that inane condition to Batman.

Batman sighed. “We will talk more back at the Cave.”

“I want an explanation now.”

“Just hold off trying to catch her for at least a week, Redbird. I am not going to stop you from your task. Maybe use that time to observe her instead.”

Redbird huffed but nonetheless accepted the compromise.

“Fine. It gives me more time to make more well thought out plans.”

“Since she would mostly be at school, you won’t have to do much.”

Batman grappled off the roof and Redbird followed.

When they reached the Batmobile, Redbird turned to his father and said.

“Father, I have been thinking. Perhaps I should infiltrate her school in order to get closer and gain more information on her movements.”

Bruce looked at him in surprise, remembering the first time he suggested Damian going to school and being told that he was never going to step foot into a subpar teaching environment.

“Are you sure, Damian?”

“I am sure.” Damian said firmly.

“I will call the principal in the morning and arrange everything.” 

—

“Come back here, you-” The insult was lost as Redbird comically stepped on the rake. The handle hit his face like those old cartoon gags.

A slew of Arabic curses were unleashed.

"Tick-tock, birdy." Rebel taunted as Redbird held his broken nose. "It's nearly midnight and I am not still not in chains or behind bars."

"I should have your tongue cut out for your insolence." 

"That threat lost its charm about two months ago." Rebel replied in a bored tone.

"Be more creative. Like ‘I will slowly take a small piece of your tongue a day, roast it and force feed it to you’." Rebel declared with an imitation of Redbird’s voice but slightly higher pitch than it actually was.

“I will gladly do so.” The threat probably would have sounded more intimidating if Redbird wasn’t still holding his broken nose and didn’t sound like he had a very bad nasal problem.

Rebel covered her mask with her hand as if trying to hide a smirk.

“Well, little bird, if you are done with your threats, I will be off- WHAT THE FUCK!”

Rebel didn’t look where she was going and had fallen down the hole in the roof that was hidden with a tarp..

Redbird grinned as he peered over the hole where Rebel had fallen into a cage he had set up to work like a bear trap.

“You aren’t the only one skilled with traps in this city.” He boasted.

Nightwing landed, giving Redbird an appreciative whistle and applause.

“Good job, baby Bat.”

“Call the police, Nightwing. Tell them I have the fiend, Rebel, in custody.” Redbird said.

“Sure thing.”

Redbird turned to give Rebel a smug look at his sure victory. It immediately got wiped out as he saw Rebel dangling her legs over the hole she fell down a few minutes ago.

She gave him a cheeky wave.

“HOW?” Damian exploded. “HOW DID YOU ESCAPE MY FOOLPROOF TRAP?!”

“It’s not foolproof if a fool like me could get out of it that easily. Nice setup though. Gave me a few ideas for my next project.”

Redbird growled and launched himself at her. Rebel rolled out of his way.

Landing nimbly, Redbird charged at her and threw a few attacks. Rebel effortlessly dodged every one of them.

Nightwing watched with a bored look on his face as Redbird chased Rebel around the rooftop.

“Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk. I'm a woman's man, no time to talk ....”

Rebel took out her phone and turned off her alarm as she ducked a birdarang.

“It’s midnight! And you know what that means. You just failed your mission.” Rebel announced cheerfully.

Redbird yelled in anger and charged at her.

Nightwing stepped in between the two to restrain Redbird.

“Chill, baby bat. You need to calm down. She won, fair and square.”

“And just as promised, I will send over the plans I made for the other villain to the Big Guy.” Rebel continued as she walked backwards to the edge of the rooftop.

“See ya around, Birdies.” She said as she jumped back off the roof while giving them a finger salute.

Nightwing hurriedly let go of Damian and ran to look over the parapet wall. Rebel appeared to be perfectly fine after a five-storey drop and was calmly putting her helmet on. She got on her bike and drove off.

“Um… guys.” Oracle’s voice came over the comms. “There is actually fifteen minutes left until midnight. She lied.”

The two vigilantes looked at each other and cursed. They grappled off, trying their best to catch the cunning villain.

—

“I am sorry that I failed you, Father.” Damian reported.

Three months should have been more than sufficient for him to complete his assigned task successfully. He even had subjected himself to the establishment called a school in order to catch Rebel.

Each time, he thought that he was close to capturing the most slippery villain in all of Gotham. Something would interfere in his plans and Rebel continued to walk free.

Head down ashamed as he kneeled on the cold floor of the Batcave to receive his punishment. Damnit, why was his vision getting blurry?

The shadow from his father’s cape moved closer and blocked out the light. Damian braced for the pain.

Damian was confused when he felt his Father placed his hand on his head. It felt… odd and comforting.

“It’s alright. You did your best. Even with the restriction I placed on you.” Bruce said.

Damian’s confusion increased.

“But… I failed.”

It did hurt to admit his failure but he was more confused by his father’s actions. Grandfather would have given out some sort of punishment by now. Like going against some of the League’s Finest on his own.

The hand moved from his head to his shoulder.

“Look at me, Damian.”

Damian obeyed and met his father’s blue eyes. The colour reminded him of the flowers his mother would sometimes wear in her hair when Grandfather was out of Nanda Parbat.

“Even if you had failed in your task, you still had helped me.”

Damian was flabbergasted.

“How?”

“In order to capture her, you monitored her every move. Because of you and your reports, I knew her every move. Avoiding your attempts kept Rebel so busy that she wasn’t able to work on her plans as much. Which gives me more time to work on how to bring Hawkmoth in.”

“I still failed.”

“And I am telling you that you still did a good job. You can learn from this experience and learn how to do better.” Bruce said.

“Aren’t you going to punish me?”

“No. I am not going to punish you for this.”

The answer seemed to have shifted Damian’s worldview. It broke Bruce’s heart to know how Damian had been treated. Being punished for failure which made Damian scared to fail.

“How.. how can you…”

Damian didn’t seem to comprehend that there would be no punishments for failing.

“Damian.” Bruce said gently. “I know that this is hard for you to comprehend but we do things differently here. We do not kill. And we do not punish people for simply failing.”

“But Drake… Batmobile.”

Oh right, grounding.

“I will reiterate. I will not physically hurt you as punishment for failing your mission. I do not like raising my hand to people I call family. Yes, you are part of it now, Damian, no matter how unexpected your arrival was. I prefer giving you chores to do instead. Like washing the Batmobile. Giving Ace a bath. Organising the case files. Helping Alfred around the Manor. Even then, it’s only if you misbehave and go against the rules of the Manor. And you may see them as pointless but they were put in place to keep you safe. I don’t want to see any of you hurt. Yes, including you, Damian.”

Bruce hoped that he got through Damian. Made him see that things were different now but they were a good kind of different. Maybe now Damian would let him in and be the better person Bruce knew he could be.

Bruce thought all of this as he hugged the slightly shaking boy in his arms who hid his face with Bruce’s chest.  ------ (Part 6) ----

Taglist:  @toodaloo-kangaroo, @iloontjeboontje, @buginetye, @angelwreckedd, @anoires-blog, @ever-since-i-was-young, @shutupandactuallylisten, @its-maemain, @vel-vee, @kashlyn, @officiallydarkgeek, @jayjayspixiepop, @cmouse, @transheso, @thecrazyfantrolls, @just-a-random-girl-loves-anime, @maddiesupdates, @the-dumber-scaramouche,

[gogogoats]

Dragonblade Deep Dive - Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Nineteen – Confrontations

First of all, the Big Thing that we were told was going to happen this chapter doesn’t actually happen. Secondly, this chapter really doesn’t make a lot of sense, but I will do my best to summarise. Caution: swearword. Also spoiler: there are no confrontations in this chapter.

We’re back with Jester, who is feeling frazzled. He wants to chase down Gunther and force him to commit career suicide but acknowledges that his duty is to the royals in this time of anguish, so he goes in search of them instead. Jester admits that Lavinia is not in any danger with Dragon, and in fact Dragon is probably at greater risk.

Most of the court and castle staff have moved back inside, with “dozens” gathering in the throne room to remain close to the action. The population at the castle has certainly grown a lot in the last few years! The King and Queen aren’t there so Jester heads to their chambers, where he finds Ivon (miraculously not passed out drunk in the dungeon anymore!) standing guard. Ivon won’t let him in to see the Royals, telling Jester they need time to “boil in their anger” and that he should instead go and pack Jane’s bags for her as the knight says she will not be permitted to stay at the castle after this.

Jester of course starts crying again and, oddly, Ivon gives him a hug. Jester begins to go into mourning over all the seggs he won’t get to have with Jane, but Ivon reminds him he must turn his energy towards Lavinia and her current escapade. He stumbles out into the garden, where he sits and mopes at the fountain, fully self-absorbed until he catches a glimpse of Dragon’s silhouette against the moon and remembers he’s supposed to be doing something.

Dragon is delivering Lavinia into the market square outside the Merchant’s house. His house is the largest in the village and sits opposite the tavern. There’s some useful “lay of the land” type information here.

Dragon tries to warn Lavinia that she should talk to Jane rather than the Merchant, because Dragon doesn’t trust him. Lavinia wants to know why not and Dragon says there are lots of reasons, although his leading argument is that he wears scented oil and doesn’t like Dragon. He goes on to trash talk Gunther as another reason for not liking Merchant. Anyone remember the JatD TV series where Dragon and Gunther actually had a lot in common and sometimes got on well? Until Magnus sabotaged things? Yeah, me too.

Lavinia somewhat defends Gunther before also wilfully misinterpreting his plan to keep her safe. She also talks a bit about how she will be a queen one day, which means she will have to marry a prince from another kingdom. So she’s not actually opposed to the idea? What’s all this stupid carry on for, then?!

They land, and Lavinia sets off for the Merchant’s house, dismissing Dragon.

We change to Gunther’s POV. Fortunately his hangover appears to have miraculously cleared up, in keeping with all hangovers in this novel. He is in his father’s house, having snuck inside and up to his room just a few moments before, and is looking on in disbelief as the Princess arrives.

He reflects on the miserable childhood he has spent in this “forlorn place” ever since he arrived at three years of age after his mother married Magnus.* If he has any memories of his real father** or birth place or happiness, they have been completely smothered by this “dark and brooding house”.

Gunther continues his evolution into a Bronte sisters character as he considers his options for safety, and settles on running away. Now that Jester knows his plan (and has so completely failed to understand it) Gunther knows there will be no forgiveness from the King and no safety from his father. He has some money stashed away that he has earned on the side while doing dodgy deals for Magnus, and has snuck into the house to retrieve it before jumping on a ship and getting far, far away from this hell hole. Once again Gunther is the only sensible character in this story.

Some of Magnus’ crew is at the house, eating and drinking with their employer. They are even referred to as his “henchmen”, cementing Magnus’ rise to Villain-status even while Gunther is treated as though he is far worse by all of the people who should have been protecting him this entire time.

He sneaks by unseen, or at least unacknowledged, and into his bedroom, which is also treated as a storage space for his father’s wares. Gunther has been preparing for the possible scenario of needing to run away for the last THREE YEARS, stashing his money away in his bedroom walls, and is retrieving it when he feels Dragon land by the house. He sees the Princess and is instantly alarmed for her safety.

We are now with Jane, who is still riding down the mountain in the dark after throwing her torch away. She thought the moonlight would be enough to see by, but an errant cloud has parked itself in the way and now she must let her eyes adapt to see by starlight. Instead of giving her horse its head and letting it guide her back to the castle she decides that the safest thing to do is dismount and lead it. The horse rears in fright as she is getting off and throws her to the ground. Jane knows instantly it’s because the horse smelled a wolf. Jane knows this because she, too, SMELLED THE WOLF, while being thrown from the horse. She is now alone in the dark, except for the wolf and her extremely powerful nose.

Dragon watches Lavinia walk away from him and reflects on how much like Jane she is, except that unlike Jane Lavinia doesn’t have an ounce of self-doubt.

Gunther tries to get Lavinia’s attention from his bedroom window, to wave her away and warn her off, by throwing a button down at her. She sees him, but Magnus opens the door. Gunther turns back into his room and finds himself face-to-face with Pincher Bates, a debt collector who works for Magnus and enjoys pulling teeth. He calls Gunther “boy”.

Thoughts:

*WHAT

**THE FUCK

I feel like everyone in this novel, including the author himself, has forgotten that Gunther is a knight. Why does he still live at home when he could live at the castle with the other knights? Why does he need to stash money and make plans to run away and live in fear when he should be a valued and protected part of the castle staff? Why does his word mean nothing to anyone when he is a sworn knight of the King? Where are his brothers (and sister) in arms? Where are his protective mentors, his understanding friends, his COMRADES, HIS KING?! Gunther is clearly acting like a victim of abuse, he FEARS FOR HIS LIFE, and everyone, EVERYONE in his life is failing him on a spectacular scale.

All of that without even taking into consideration that there is no way in a small village like Kippernium that all of the adults don’t know that Gunther turned up one day as a three-year-old and wasn’t actually a born son of Magnus. And then his mother vanished shortly after. And then those same adults all sat back and watched this child be abused, and blamed him for his “father’s” and “grandfather’s” sins and used that to justify their own mistreatment of him too.

If you’re going to blatantly re-write a character’s entire history and backstory in such a nonsensical way, at least take a moment to consider how badly it will reflect on your other, favoured characters.

Theodore sat there in his office and looked at Gunther and reviled his “hesitation” as a character flaw instead of the survival mechanism it so clearly is, and TOLD HIM he was a chip off his father’s block, the man who abuses him, who ISN’T EVEN HIS FATHER, which he absolutely would know. And Theodore is supposed to be a good person? I’m afraid that doesn’t line up.

The usual blatant character abuse and re-writing aside, very little actually happened in this chapter, apart from Ivon telling Jester that Jane will be exiled over Lavinia’s actions and Jester accepting that as perfectly logical (um. what.) and the Royals “boiling in their anger” at Jane (note they never seem to blame themselves for their parenting failures. Also, Lavinia is clearly 100% on board with marrying and leaving the kingdom to become a queen elsewhere, so WHAT EVEN IS THE PROBLEM??!) and Jane developing super-scent all of a sudden. Roughly a 5-10 minute window of time elapses after Jester starts moping at the fountain. Dragon and Lavinia land in the marketplace, Gunther sees them and tries to divert Lavinia, and Jane is thrown from her horse. The rest is just re-caps and reflecting.

Dragon seems less like an independent character and more like a mouthpiece for the author. He’s gone from total disinterest in Lavinia and everything she has to say and failing to give her advice, to comparing her to Jane and trying to give her advice, in the brief amount of time it took to fly from his cave to the village.

Time passed since the start of the novel: Day Two –early night

Time Jester has spent crying: 1 hour, plus time in the catacombs, plus time in the castle/at the fountain

[loderlied]

hiiiiiiii romeo im curious about zeke shadowheart…. can you share details on their weirdness…. ik they have a messy divorce at some point what happened 👁️👁️ (unless you’re eventually planning on sharing in a fic then tell me to go away)

hiii so the actual messy divorce/ending point of their relationship i am very much saving for a fic but i have answered a question about them in an ask game in the past that has most of the important details of their relationship summarised so i’m gonna copy that under the cut! if you have more questions tho i’d love to answer <3

Pragma 2: What is the biggest challenge that your OC has had to overcome in a long-term relationship or friendship? What helped them get through this?

(okay first of all i obviously can’t answer relationship questions like these for gortash and zeke so. shadowheart/zeke and gortash in general it is.)

well. the actual biggest challenge in zeke and shadowheart’s relationship is. well. you know. and they never overcome it. the exact opposite in fact. it all comes crashing down burning at the end of act 3.

so! something that they did actually overcome together. sort of. prefacing this by saying that in no way are they healthy—a relationship with zeke can’t be, but shadowheart and zeke at first have an extremely hostile relationship with each other. zeke basically sees her as a puzzle to solve. he loses himself in her mystery to distract himself from how deeply distraught he is by his own (memory loss) for a while. if he didn’t do this, he probably would’ve gone insane much earlier i’m gonna be honest—zeke not knowing himself, feeling disgustingly weak almost destroyed him. meanwhile shadowheart almost embraces it. and shadowheart, despite pretending that her memory loss is some sort of holy virtue, finds comfort in sharing this condition with zeke, but is still absolutely furious with him otherwise. he belittles her, even injures her from time to time, but they only have each other.

i think shadowheart loves zeke in the way you love watching a storm rage outside. lightning strike. a deep, dark, dangerous forest. a wide, expansive cliff side going down endlessly. seeing and looking a majestic beast in the eye. i have this image of a wolf biting deep into the flesh of his hunt and then gently and apologetically licking the wound afterwards. that’s how they are. she digs through this wall of thorns hoping to live in this nature with him. go out dancing in the rain of the storm. she finds that endless beauty in him, even if it’s dangerous. she’s a healer after all, and she is not the only one who needs healing in this duo.

zeke in turn does not know how to handle this. i’ve spoken about his ability to ‘love’ as you would traditionally think of it before, but one thing is clear: he wishes to open that wall of thorns to her. he wishes for his fangs to stay out of her. but he can’t prevent it. not when you are the thorns. but he tries. oh my god how hard he tries. he, the thing who hunts truth, goes into her dream with her.

so, they both desperately want it to work. they work together to uncover their mysteries. zeke “solves” hers, bringing her out of the shadows by letting her choose to spare the nightsong. i think the few days after that, despite trotting through the fucking shadow-cursed lands, are their happiest. (even then deep down zeke isn’t truly happy in this moment—that will only be when his throat his slit upon the lifeless remains of the machine)

[captains-simp]

Wanda Maximoff ~ Fake It Till You Make It

Wanda version of this fic as requested by @yeetus-thyself

7.7k words

Warnings: shitty family and homophobia

[ masterlist ]

Buy me a coffee ☕

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"Pleeaasse, Wan" You pouted once again. You had been begging Wanda for the favour for an hour now; her stubborness was proving hard to overcome.

"I'm busy." Wanda said, her accent strong as she walked around her appartment to collect things for her next mission.

"But will you be busy on the 10th?" You asked from the couch where you watched her disappear into various rooms as she talked.

"I thought you said it was a few days." Wanda quipped, seemingly only giving you half her attention.

"It is." You confirmed with some hope.

"So I'd need to clear my schedule for more than just the 10th." You huffed and rested your head on the back of couch.

"Yes you would. I'm sure Natasha can manage without you for a few days."

"I wouldn't be too sure about that." She muttered.

"Please, Wan." You tried. "I need a win." Wanda stopped by the kitchen counter and gave you a long, considering look. You had long given up on your puppy dog eyes and instead copied her expression as you chewed on your bottom lip.

"I'll think about it." Wanda finally said before grabbing something from the cupboard. It was the best response you had gotten all night and you knew you wouldn't get anything more. So you accepted it and hoped for the best.

Your parents had invited you to their cabin for a few days just like they did every year. It was a beautiful place. You could spend your whole visit in the forest along the back. Or swimming in the clear lake that was a short walk away. The cabin itself was the cosiest place you had ever been and had been where some of your best memories had happened as a kid.

As you got older things changed. Being around your family, especially your parents, wasn't as enjoyable. They had high expectations for their children, expectations that your siblings had met without a problem but ones that you had struggled with. You enjoyed your life. You had the kind of relationships you had always hoped for, you loved your job and you had the perfect balance of the two. But you could never shake the feeling that you had failed.

Your brother was a surgeon who always told you all stories of the lives he saved and the close calls he had swooped in to save people from. One of your sisters was some hot shot lawyer who had done great things like help people wrongly convicted but still put dangerous people back on the street. And your other sister was the CEO of an energy company that you never quite understood. They even all had equally successful partners who loved to talk about themselves as much as your siblings did. You didn't have any of that. But you did have Wanda.

Knowing the Avengers was the only thing about you your family took interest in. They were always subtly hinting at wanting to meet your friends. But you knew the Avengers had to endure enough fan service and didn't want to push your family onto them, especially with how annoying they all were.

However as your family's unrealistic expectations reached their all time high you were sure you wouldn't be able to handle another trip with them without a win, and you were far too petty to take the moral high ground and just not go. Not to mention that was a huge part of you that was dying to see what the Wanda girlfriend experience would entail. Yep, that was what you were asking of Wanda. To pretend to be your partner for the duration of the trip.

You knew it wasn't a smart choice. That if Wanda agreed your crush on her could get out of hand. You knew you would end up getting too caught up in the act. You could have, no - should have - asked Natasha or Yelena or even Carol if she was around. But your family knew you were the closest with Wanda and she would be the one it felt the most natural with, and the most believable. At least, that was what you told Wanda.

"When are you going?" You asked, changing the subject in hopes that Wanda wouldn't suddenly conclude she didn't want to do it (then you really would have to ask one of the others).

"Tomorrow." She answered, keeping her focused tone.

"When will you be back?" You attempted to keep the concern out of your voice but the glance the redhead gave you told you you hadn't done a good job.

"The day after." She said, softer this time. You nodded as you looked down at your lap and tried not to think about everything that could possibly go wrong on her mission.

"Be safe." Wanda strolled over to you and placed her hand gently ontop of yours and gave it a quick squeeze.

"Always."

*

"Got any plans Saturday night?" Natasha smirked knowingly at her friend as they preped for their mission.

"No." Wanda replied as she adjusted her earpiece.

"Nothing with y/n then?" Nat asked, partly genuinely but mostly knowing Wanda would still say no.

"Nope." She said again, biting the inside of her cheek in consideration before speaking again. "Not this Saturday."

Natasha raised an eyebrow in surprise and interest. Wanda rarely made any kind of special plans with you as you would always hang out casual and it was never anything fancy or different. She had always wanted to though.

"Plans for another time?" Nat continued as she double checked her pack.

"Maybe, I'm still thinking about it." The redhead turned fully to her friend at her words, confused at why Wanda was hesitant to spend time with you. "She wants me to go to the cabin with her and her family." Nat had heard all about the infamous cabin and your family.

"That sounds fun." Nat nodded. The cabin sounded fun. Your family did not.

"As her girlfriend." Nat's eyes widened excitedly but before she could speak Wanda clarified. "Her pretend girlfriend."

Nat paused and looked as though she was going to speak for several seconds until she stuck to just giving a confused look.

"Yeah." Wanda sighed. "Thinks it would seem impressive." Wanda had tried not to be hurt over that. She knew you weren't just friends with her to show her off to people, because you never did. But it hurt her to think the only time you could see her in a romantic way was when you were pretending.

"Well," Nat muttered as she adjusted the zip along the front of her catsuit. "Fake it till you make it." It was Wanda's turn to give Nat a questioning look. "Maybe it'll be an eye opener for her."

"You think I should do it?" She asked, fully open to hearing and accepting her friend and mentor's advice in that area.

"Definelty." Nat confirmed. She wasn't sure about it for the reasons she said though. Wanda's crush on you was obvious to everyone except you, just as it was vice versa.

*

You had been overjoyed when Wanda told you she would come with you to the cabin and play along as your girlfriend. She had told you when she came back from her mission, in fact it was the first thing she said after she had let herself into your appartment. It was never really brought up after that, but you couldn't deny you were incredibly anxious on the week leading up to the visit.

On the drive up to the cabin you and Wanda stayed in a comfortable silence most of the time, clearly both lost in thought. You had the radio on for background noise more than anything else, but you would occasionally lightly tap the steering wheel if there was a tune you recognised, oblivious to Wanda's acknowledging smiles.

"So what's the plan?" Wanda asked as she looked at you expectantly. Right, of course the Avenger wanted a strategy.

"Keep things simple, I guess. They know how we met already so we can just say at some point we took things a step further than friendship." Wanda didn't seem convinced at the simplicity of that. "Look they're not going to want to hear about us, not much at least. They prefer the sound of their own voices, they'll be trying to impress you is all."

"Impress me?" Wanda asked.

"Yeah, hope you warm up to them so one day they can invite you to their snobby parties." Wanda chuckled her heart warming laugh as she glanced out of the window, knowing there was a lot of truth to what you said.

"And what are those like?" She enquired curiously.

"I wouldn't know, I've never been invited." You said simply. You had gotten over that a long time ago, gotten used to being forgotten. Wanda clearly hadn't though.

"It will be an honour to turn them down." Wanda said. You shook your head and smiled at her. That did sound pretty nice.

When the cabin came into sight between the trees your nerves spiked. You figited in your seat and bit your lip when you saw some of your family gathered outside, their attention instantly on you. You shot Wanda a quick smile which she returned before you got out of the car.

"Y/n! So nice of you to come." You mum said as her eyes flickered to Wanda more than you. She opened her arms for the shortiest hug in human history before turning to Wanda. "You must be Wanda, we've heard so much." You mum insisted as she brought the redhead in for a hug too. She raised her eyebrows at you over your mum's shoulder and you bite back a laugh.

The others came over to greet you and mainly Wanda in a rush, overwhelming both of you.

"You two will be in the upstairs bedroom on the left." Your mum told you as you went to grab your bags. You did a double take, convinced you had heard her wrong. That was the best room in the house. A big difference from being in the small room in the basement every other time you had been there.

"First one on the left." Your dad confirmed. There was no way your parents were going to be in the basement so you wondered who else had been moved around but didn't ask, knowing whoever it was wasn't going to be happy.

You and Wanda made your way up to the room and you couldn't help but smile at the sight of the spacious room and the door you knew led to your en suite.

"That was...a lot." Wanda summarised as she said her bag under the bed.

"I would tell you it gets better but I don't want to get your hopes up." You sighed as you got a couple of things out.

"It's just a few days." Wanda said despite the fact you should have been assuring her.

"Yeah." You nodded and stared down at the floor. "Now c'mon." You suddenly said as you took ahold of Wanda's hand and laced your fingers together. You missed the startled blush that crept onto her cheeks when you turned around.

Your family were sat outside whispering amongst themselves when you returned. Their interested gaze fell to your entwined hands in an instant.

"So you work with the Avengers?" Your brother, Dalton, said as soon as you both sat down.

"I do, I'm one myself." Wanda said as she continued to hold onto your hand.

"Must be crazy, what are they like?" He enquired.

"They're good." Wanda said simply. Everyone clearly expected something more but Wanda pretended not to notice making you smile.

"I almost did business with Stark once, decided against it in the end." Claire announced proudly. You and Wanda exchanged knowing glances. Stark had told you all about his encounter with your sister, it definetly wasn't her turning him down.

"I was invited to one of his parties." Anna said quickly. "I was busy that night unfortunately."

Bull. Shit.

"Yes I remember working with Doctor Strange when he was still in the medical profession." You gave Wanda an I-told-you-so look as your family erupted into conversation over who had the most contact with the heroes. That had to be a new record of how quickly they started talking about themselves.

They continued like that until your mum called everyone in for dinner. The food smelt undeniably amazing as you took your place at the table next to Wanda and eyed the dishes infront of you. Your parents efforts to impress the redhead weren't all that bad.

Your family continued to catch up and and you and Wanda half listened as you ate. They were all doing as well for themselves as ever and still hadn't learnt any modesty.

Although you were proud of your siblings for what they had all achieved, Wanda had contained four potentially devastating bombs from going off in the space of half an hour a week before but she wasn't going to bring that up anytime soon. Eventually though, the attention turned to you to bring you out of your silence.

"And you're still working in that little café, y/n?" Your mum asked curiously.

"I own it, mum." You corrected quietly as you stabbed some pieces on your plate.

"Ah yes, quite the contrast though, isn't it. Between you two." She said as she pointed at you and Wanda with her fork. You didn't say anything to that because you felt there really wasn't anything to say in response. It wasn't like you hadn't thought that exact thing every now and then.

"The team loves it." Wanda said suddenly making everyone, including you, look at her in slight surprise from speaking up. It hadn't taken your family long to learn Wabda wasn't much of a talker, not to them anyway. You couldn't get her to shut up half the time. "At least one of us goes everyday. If we're lucky we all can. Nothing beats it." She defended simply before turning back to her food to show she wasn't going to say anymore. You smiled down at your plate at her words and the truth of them.

No one said anything in response, clearly shocked from this new information until Dalton spoke up.

"But doesn't Stark like fancy, top of the line, restaurants? I can't imagine him in some random coffee shop, no offence sis." He nodded towards you though you knew he didn't mean it. He couldn't let you have just one win.

"That random coffee shop has catered some of Stark's parties. Not that many though." A smug smile crept onto Dalton's face as he opened his mouth to make a snarky remark but Wanda cut him down again. "Because y/n's invited to the rest as a guest and a close friend." Your family stared at you with open mouths.

"You've been invited to Stark's parties?!" Anna exclaimed. In your defence, your family never wanted to hear about your life so you never got the chance to tell them anything.

"It's not really my crowd." You shrugged. "I just go to hang out with them after." Dalton's jaw clenched in annoyance and he didn't say anything for the rest of dinner. It was only really your mum who kept talking. Telling everyone about her latest travels that fell on death ears.

It was certainly a first for your family.

When everyone had finished their food you and Wanda excused yourselves and said goodnight before retiring to your room. Wanda shut the door gently as you collapsed onto the bed on your back and glared at the ceiling. The redhead shuffled around quietly to get her toothbrush and toothpaste and some other things you weren't really paying attention to and went into the bathroom.

When she came back out she was in her bedclothes and lifted your feet off the floor to turn you so you could fully lay on the bed. You smiled at her weakly.

"You should go get changed." Wanda said as she got her laptop out her bag. "Then you can pick a movie." She announced when she had gotten under the covers and started her laptop. You smiled more and nodded.

You tried not to think about your family and everything they had said at dinner as you got changed but it proved difficult. Everything they had said echoed around in your head but most of all you couldn't shake the disregarding ways they said it. It was as though you could do no right with them. Maybe they would never be proud no matter what you did.

You placed your toothbrush back I'm the holder and rinsed your mouth before heading back into the bedroom to an awaiting Wanda.

You got under the covers next to her and rested your head on her shoulder as you glanced at the Netflix screen and pointed to one of the comedy movies.

About ten minutes into the movie Wanda spoke. "You okay?" She whispered as she continued to look at the screen although that wasn't where her focus was.

"Yeah." You whispered back.

"You can talk to me." She said after a second." You moved your head away so you could see Wanda clearly.

"I'm so glad you're here." You said honestly. She smiled and nodded as her eyes searched yours.

"I'm glad I'm here too." You knew Wanda wasn't glad she had to spend the time with your family. She was glad that she could support you despite their efforts to bring you down. You were incredibly lucky to have her.

You rested your head back on her shoulder and neither of you spoke for the rest of the movie. Or the rest of the night. You must have fallen asleep about half an hour in.

*

Wanda was one of the most intimate people you had ever met. It was mainly something she aimed towards you and Natasha but didn't refrain from comforting others and giving hugs to anyone who would take one. She never held back at all with you, as far as you knew. But when you woke up and couldn't tell where your limbs started and Wanda's ended, you were still surprised to find yourselves like that. Butterflies flew around in your stomach in a way you knew was dangerous but couldn't help but love.

You were resting your head on her rising chest and had your arm slung across her stomach. Your legs were tangled together and her arms were holding onto your waist. A warmth spread through you and you decided to settle back into her hold and closed your eyes with a content smile.

You had about ten minutes to enjoy that before Wanda woke up. You could feel the moment she realized you were so close, she physically froze. You waited in anticipation for something for several moments until your friend very slowly unhooked her legs and guided your body to lay against the mattress and pillows as she slipped out of bed towards the bathroom.

You sighed when you heard the door close and rubbed your eyes slowly, knowing you should get up but wishing more than anything that you could return to how you woke up.

"Morning." Wanda croaked when she left the bathroom and saw you sitting up in bed.

"Morning." You said back with a smile and tried not to focus on how ridiculously attractive her voice sounded.

You gathered some random clothes into a bundle and went into the bathroom to change again and brush your teeth. When you came out Wanda was pulling her shirt over her head and gave you a generous view of her toned stomach. That training with Natasha really was paying off. Your face heated up when you saw it and you turned away to pretend you hadn't seen when Wanda noticed you.

"Don't make a sound." Wanda warned. You glanced up at her with some confusion. "I don't think your family's awake yet, that means we get the kitchen to ourselves." She grinned and you did too.

You and Wanda had gotten so used to getting up early for your jobs you forgot other people would still be sleeping. It was hard to break out of the habit but it proved useful.

The pair of you made a quick breakfast and ate it outside thanks to the warm weather even at that time. But soon enough your parents came downstairs and ruined the peaceful atmosphere with the clanging of pots and loud convosations.

You wandered around the side of the house and saw the old table tennis table that bad been folded away years ago and hadn't been set up since. You went over and started setting it up when Wanda joined you and eyed the table with a glimmer of mischief.

The redhead wasn't all that competitive, in fact you were pretty sure she let other people win games on the regular to make them feel better about themselves. But there was an undeniable spark of mischief in her eyes when she saw the table.

"You played this before?" You asked convosationally.

"I have." She said as you both automatically took up your positions of opposite ends of the table.

"Me too." You said confidently. "A lot." Wanda hummed in acknowledgment and swivelled her bat in her hand and stood ready. You smiled at her seriousness for the game.

You served surprisingly well for someone who hadn't played in a few years and Wanda was able to hit it back with ease. Once you had developed a steady pace you started hitting the ball more daringly to Wanda who was caught off guard before she started doing the same.

The moment you missed the ball a small smile tugged at the corner of Wanda's lips, her celebration was short lived when you suddenly sent the ball back her way until it was too late.

"That wasn't fair!" She exclaimed childishly.

"That was tables tennis." You said seriously but started smiling again.

Wanda huffed dramatically and flipped you off as she trudged back to the table and served the ball with force. You managed to send it back but took a step away from the table in caution.

You continued like that for a while. The competition tension rising as you picked up the pace, one of you occasionally getting a point before the other evened it out.

At one point you were vaguely aware of Dalton sauntering over to see what you were doing and arched his brow at the sight of the table.

"We still have this thing?" He questioned and you hummed quietly in response, too focused on the game.

"Hey Claire! Get over here, we're playing table tennis." You rolled your eyes at the intrusive and could sense Wanda refraining from doing the same until an idea popped into your head.

You caught the ball in your hand and smiled at Wanda's protests as you moved round to her side of the table just as your sister came out.

"I didn't even know we still had this." Claire laughed as she picked up another bat from the box.

"Maybe we should take it back with us." Wanda whispered to you and you bit your lip to contain your smile because yes, yes you should.

Inevitably, your siblings sucked at table tennis. You had suspected as much you just never thought they would be as bad as they were. They missed almost every hit and everytime they did they got increasingly angry, which meant they ended up flaring their arms around like idiots. It was a memory you would be sure to treasure.

"Stupid game" and "probably broken" kept echoing across the table until your siblings finally stormed off to throw a tantrum.

The rest of the day went by quietly. You and Wanda sat by the lake for most of the afternoon to enjoy the sun and heat. You reveled in the most recent memories of your siblings embarrassment and had to keep hushing down to childish whispered whenever one of them was nearby.

Surprisingly, dinner went by peacefully too.

You weren't asked anymore questions at the table. Instead, your family were content with talking about their upcoming plans between stealing glances at you and Wanda that the redhead never failed to notice.

The pair of you slipped off to your room the first moment you got and easily fell into bed besides one another. Wanda picked out a DVD from her bag of an old Sokovian show she used to watch as a child and had you hooked on as well as teaching you the language.

She settled down beside you and within the first few scenes she wrapped an arm around your shoulder so you could sink into her further like she did sometimes when you watched things together. You were barely paying attention to the series after that.

Despite trying to keep your focus on understanding what was happening in scenes of the show, you couldn't help but want to melt under the warmth of your best friend. You hoped it was something you got to experience more, you felt safer than you ever had in Wanda's arms.

Little did you know that having you in her arms was the most comforting feeling Wanda ever experienced and she always tried to do it as little as possible to refrain from falling for you more. It never worked.

*

You had thought waking up in Wanda's arms the morning before had been the best thing to awake to. But that day when you woke up not only were your legs tangled together again but the redhead was slowly stroking your hair while your head rested on her chest.

It was a gradual gesture that maintained a perfect rhythm and made you want to fall back asleep. But you were afraid you would mistake it for a dream later on. No, it was definitely real.

Luckily, your head was already tilted upwards slightly so when you secretly opened your eyes to risk a peek at your friend you saw her staring out the window as though she was in a trance. She was clearly so deep in thought she hadn't noticed you wake up, you had never seen her like it. But the feeling was too good to ignore, too compelling.

Soon enough, you found yourself drifting off back to sleep.

*

When you woke up again Wanda was gone. Her absence left an emptiness you knew wasn't good for you. As the days of your visit went on your fake relationship with Wanda was going to effect you even more when it was over.

Over...you couldn't think about that.

Once you got up and got changed you found Wanda in the kitchen looking at the news on her phone as she sipped her coffee.

"Morning, honey." You grinned. Wanda blushed slightly into her coffee, something you thought was undeniably adorable.

"Morning yourself." She tried to play off smoothly making you grin more.

You made breakfast for you both just as your mum came into the kitchen and greeted you both with an overplayed smile, already talking to Wanda about an upcoming party that she should go to. Wanda mumbled something about a busy schedule as you managed to whisp her away outside with your food.

Eventually, you and Wanda became bored with sitting around in the house when you had such amazing surroundings on your doorstep. You declared that you were going on a walk with the redhead and left before any of your family could invite themselves to go with you. Especially as you had told your friend to wear her swimwear underneath her clothing as you had a surprise for her.

You made a point of holding Wanda's hand as you left and once you were far away from the house went to take it back only for her to hold on tighter.

"You never know where they could be lurking." She joked as an excuse, so you starting swinging your arms playfully as to assure her you wanted your hands to stay linked together too.

You spent hours in those woods and was thankful for having a spy best friend who of course knew to pack the essentials like food and drinks so you could stay away from the house as long as you wanted.

The redhead brought so much you were able to have a small picnic on top of a hill that overlooked the large lake that stretched out all the way back to the house. You remembered thinking up stories as to explain the strange shape and curves to it as a child.

"It's beautiful here." Wanda said as she picked some grapes from the bunch between you.

"It is." You agreed with a fond smile.

"I used to want to live in a place like this." She muttered, sparking your interest.

"In the woods?" You asked curiously and she nodded.

"I thought I could retire to the woods and get a small cabin and I could grow my own food and that was all I needed." You hummed with a smile as you studied Wanda's features.

"Sounds lonely." You thought aloud.

"I'd have a cat." She said simply making you laugh. "I never used to think that but now when it crosses my mind and I picture that life... I picture someone else there with me." You knew she was imagining it as she spoke and you wished you could see exactly what it was she wanted.

"We could always downgrade the holiday house." You half joked as you nodded in the vague direction of the house. "Make it a simple cabin."

"We?" Wanda asked hopefully, the emotion clear before she had a chance to conceal it.

"There's no one I'd rather run away and live in the forest with." You joked although there was a lot of truth to your words. The redhead considered you for a while before smiling and nodded as though she had reached her own internal conclusion.

"Come on." You said suddenly as you stood up and dusted yourself off.

"You want to go back?" Wanda asked and you grinned.

"I'm going to show you that surprise." You declared and packed the remaining food away. Wanda did the same, eager to see the surprise you kept secret the whole way.

It was quite a way back to the house. The whole time Wanda kept asking more questions about it but you wouldn't say. She could only make guesses based on the swim wear which should have left only a few options, non of which she got right.

Finally, you arrived where you wanted to and grinned at Wabda before starting towards the edge. The redhead frowned as she watched you approach the ledge and became worried when she invisioned the steep slope that didn't always lead to water straight down. If you were to fall... your friend didn't have to wait long to see that. You slipped along the edge and disappeared from her view as she gave a startled cry and sprinted towards the edge and knelt over with wide eyes, expecting to see something that could haunt her forever but instead she saw you on a wide ledge but seven feet below her.

To your left was part of the ledge that had been dug into randomly and acted as perfect aid to get back into the woods above.

"Come down here." You beckoned as you starter to take your top off. Wanda's eyes widened more and quickly turned around and dropped down next to you steadily.

She glanced over the side of the small ledge to glance at the fifty foot drop into the water. There was nothing in the way to fall onto but there was no telling how deep that water was.

"You can't go in like that." You laughed as you kicked off your shorts and pushed them to the side.

Wanda's face heated up at the sight of you in your y/f/c bikini as you assessed the view. But even in her flustered state she was able to put it all together.

"You want to jump down there?" She exclaimed making you laugh.

"I've done it tones of times." You assured. "It's fun."

"It's a death wish! What if the waters not deep enough?" She questioned making you laugh more.

"Are you scared, Wan?" You teased as you took a step towards her making her avert her eyes from your form. She scoffed to play it off.

"Of course not." You hummed in faux belief.

"Well then I'll see you down there." You grinned and took a couple of steps back until your feet were no longer on the platform and you were plummeting down towards the water where you landed with a splash.

Wanda held her breath as she waited for you to resurface for a few agonising seconds. When you did with a gasp and started kicking around frantically to keep yourself afloat with your built up adrenaline the redhead sighed in relief and started taking off her own shorts and shirt and placed them next to your things.

You've jumped from higher. She told herself as she rocked on her feet. And you have powers! She argued back before she shoved those thoughts aside and threw herself off the ledge and into the water below. You laughed as she came back up and pushed her hair away from her way. You swam closer to her and saw her wide smile.

"Fuck." Wanda whispered with a laugh as she looked back up from where you had both come.

"Told you it was fun." You teased as you tried not to focus on the low cut on her bikini bra.

"Yeah yeah." She laughed and paused when she looked past you and saw you were surprisingly close to the house. She could see the outline of your family sat outside.

"They're looking." Wanda muttered. You could tell by the look on her face who she was talking about. It wasn't like there was anyone else around either.

"Do you think they've caught on?" You asked nervously as you stared at Wanda's brown eyes to stop you looking at your family.

"Maybe..." She considered and glanced around. "It's not like we've been acting like that much of a couple." You scoffed at that.

"At home everyone assumes we're dating and the one time we need it be believable it isn't." You rolled your eyes but couldn't help the smile.

"I know." Wanda laughed for a second but then paused. "Then let's give them something believable." She gently placed both her hands on your waist and pulled you slowly towards her. You let her guide you and took extra notice of the water droplets across her face. You almost trembled when your bare stomachs pressed together in the water lightly.

Wanda's soft hands left your waist and gripped your thighs to pull you up to wrap your legs around her own waist. You couldn't help but giggle at the gesture as you wrapped your arms around the redhead's neck and held onto her waist with your legs in a lock.

"Can I?" Wanda whispered when she lifted your chin with her finger and her other hand came round the back of your neck.

"Just shut up and kiss me." You demanded with a playful smile and leaned in to do it yourself.

You smiled into the kiss and felt Wanda do the same. It was everything you had ever imagined it to be. Her lips were soft and fell into place perfectly against your own as they moved together. Your mind was hazey and your stomach was doing flips at the realisation that you were actually kissing your long time crush. You forced yourself to remember that it was all a show. That Wanda didn't mean it. But she put on a believable act and kissed passionately, even slipping her tongue through your parter lips to explore your mouth further.

When she eventually pulled away you rested your foreheads together to catch your breath and grinned as you closed your eyes.

"You're a really good kisser." You blurted out making Wanda chuckle.

"Not too bad yourself." She teased.

"I hope not, we're gonna have to do that again." You smiled and instantly realized that sounded like a confession you desperetly wished you could claim. "You know because...Once probably wasn't enough to make it entirely believable." You rambled and Wanda nodded somewhat stiffly and let your legs drop back down. You wanted to say something to her, anything but it was all stuck on the tip of your tongue.

Just as you opened your mouth to speak, a small murmurarion of starlings flew across the lake, some of them skimming the water then gaining height again as they got closer to you and Wanda. You both ducked instinctively as they flew over your heads and off towards the forest again as you watched them in awe until they disappeared. You glanced up at the sky and noticed the sun had gone behind a cloud, ableing you to continue looking up at the other birds higher up.

You kicked your legs up slightly so you could lay on your back and outstretch your arms to keep you afloat in the water so you could stare up at the sky without hurting your neck.

You didn't realise Wanda mimicked you until her hands brushed against yours. She withdrew it as soon as you touched and went to murmmer an apology but you smiled and held onto her hand as you both lay watching the birds.

Neither of you had to say anything. It was a comfortable and peaceful silence that was occasionally filled with birds chirping or the sound of a calm breeze. Of all the things you expected to feel on that trip, relaxed was not one of them.

You stayed like that for a while until you were both snapped out of your daydreams by the distant yell that declared dinner. Well, you had to go back to them eventually.

Both of you took your time swimming back to dry land and only felt a shiver when you left the water and the breeze hit you. Wanda spotted and reached the towels before you and wrapped yours around you tightly. You thanked her with a small blush as you both sauntered up to the house where the mouthwatering smell of a barbecue greeted you. Your dad was leaning over it while shooing your brother away as he tried to offer his 'help'.

You and Wanda went inside to change swiftly and came back outside as the food was being placed on plates and your mum finished setting up the buffet. Everyone starter helping themselves and you piled as much food as you could onto the plate. You parents had asked what food Wanda liked and when you gave them a brief list you added in a few things you knew you both loved.

"You gonna eat all that?" Anna asked as she eyed all the food on your plate. Guilt and insecurities washed over you until Wanda purposefully grabbed a large handful of small sausage rolls and put them on her plate that was piled with a considerable amount more food than your own. You smiled at the reassuring gesture as she sat down with a satisfied grin on her face when she saw Anna close her mouth to stay quiet.

"Thanks." You whispered to her as you sat down.

"If you don't eat all that I will." She declared. You were pretty sure she went back for seconds.

Instead of disappearing back to your room like you did the previous nights, you and Wanda stayed with your family for a while after dinner. It wasn't to do with their company, more the mesmerising fire in the firepit you all sat around. You were cuddled up into Wanda's side with a blanket over both of you as you stared at the flames, smiling at their small flickers and dances.

"So Wanda," one of your sisters began, "are any of the other Avengers...you know." She nodded her head in the direction of you both.

Oh boy you though.

"I don't think it's my place to say." Wanda said because yes, a lot of the Avengers were queer.

"Oh come on, you can tell us." Anna encouraged as she sat forward eagerly.

"I could, but I'm not going to." Wanda continued to defy.

"Lay off it guys." You mumbled but was ignored. Your family took it in turns saying her teammates names in hopes of sparking a reaction, clearly forgetting they were facing someone who had been trained by Natasha Romanoff.

"Stark!" Claire said but was instantly shut down by the others.

"He's married!" Dalton objected.

"Could still be bi though." Claire tried but Dalton just scoffed.

"I suppose there's going to be more surprises."

"What does that mean?" Wanda asked with narrowed eyes, feeling protective of her teammates. Dalton met her gaze with his own challenging one.

"I just never thought one of the Avengers would be a dyke." You felt Wanda stiffen as you all held your breath. There was no way to tell what was going through the redhead's mind, especially as after all those years of friendship you still didn't even know what team she batted for. She was an ally at least, but would she see this as her battle to fight?

Upon getting no reaction, Dalton continued. "It makes sense why you'd hang out with y/n though, we always knew something was wrong with her but-"

"That's enough." Your mum snapped with a guilty expression she failed to mask. You swallowed hard and moved to get up, deciding you had heard enough.

"Then you're idiots." Wanda stated as she glared daggers at your brother while you sunk down.

"I'll have you know I have a doctorate-"

"Your idiots." She repeated. "There's nothing wrong with y/n, which is impressive considering she's grown up around you lot." You looked at your friend in awe as she continued.

"She's the most amazing person I've ever known, including any of the Avengers. She's everything that you're not and I'm lucky to call her my girlfriend. It doesn't matter what any of you think of her, I love her and I always will." She declared as shot daggers at each individual family member who had fallen silent. She took your hand and pulled you up from your seat to take you inside.

You couldn't get her saying she loved you out of your head. You reminded yourself over and over again on the way to your room that it was just an act. That the redhead was making her point. But God, how you wished it was real.

She was so gentle with you as she guided you through the house. When you got to your room and broke down sobbing she held you on the bed for a long time until your cries turned to sniffles. The thing was, you weren't sure what you were crying over. Sure, what Dalton had said had hurt. As did the confirmation that your whole family had always looked down on you. But you had known that was the case for a long time, you had moved on from it.

Instead, you may have being crying over what you didn't know and didn't have. How much of what Wanda said was true? It was all based off of something that wasn't real. What if she saw you the same way your family did?

When you stopped crying you became aware of Wanda gently stroking your hair as she rested her head on yours and held you close to her. You remembered the memories you had accumulated over the past few days with her. The kisses, the hand holding, the nights together, how she stood up for you like no one ever had. You loved her so much.

"I think we should go tomorrow." Wanda mumbled and you nodded into her shoulder.

"I'm not going to leave you though, you know that right? You can stay at mine and we'll watch more of those crappy American movies you like." She mocked lightly making you chuckle against her. "Whatever you want."

"I just want you." You said honestly. You knew you shouldn't have said that, but you were too emotionally drained to care.

"I just want you too, y/n." You pulled away from the redhead to look at her clearly.

"I don't think you know what I mean." You sniffed and she smiled at you fondly.

"I mean what I said earlier, around the fire." Your eyes widened slightly and you held your breath.

"It was all an act though." You whispered and Wanda chuckled as she exhaled sharply.

"No y/n." "I think I am inlove with you." She said as she took ahold of your hand and searched your face for any signs of a reaction to her confession.

"Me?" You questioned, not quite believing it.

"Yes you, idiot." You smiled and sighed in relief, not being able to find the words to express your overflowing happiness and numerous other emotions you couldn't quite pinpoint. You let go of Wanda's hand and brought them both up to cup her cheeks. You had done a lot more handholding than kissing in the previous few days. It needed to be evened out.

You closed the gap between you and kissed Wanda with just as much passion as you had in the lake, except all hesitation and questions were gone. Because you knew she loved you. Oh God she loved you. You grinned into the kiss at the thought and felt her hand fall to your hip while the other caressed the side of your neck in the most gentle manner you had ever seen from her.

When you eventually pulled away you rested your forehead against hers, a smile still playing on both your lips.

"Told you we'd have to do that again." You said and and laughed. "I love you too."

"Well I hoped that wasn't a pity kiss." She joked and you smacked her arm playfully.

"It definetly was not and I'll prove it to you by taking you on a date when we get back." You promised as you sat back to look at her clearly.

"Oh yeah?" She asked with a playful smirk and leaned over so her face was inches away from yours.

"Yeah." You said back.

"Well until then, my real girlfriend should definetly just keep kissing me." She said as she pushed you down gently and kissed you again. You smiled against her gleefully.

"Your girlfriend would love to."

[band--psycho]

Chibs Telford x Reader-A Declaration Of Love

For the amazing @abadamn , who requested this amazing drabble!

I hope you all enjoy this 💛

“Chibs?” Y/n mumbled, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

She didn’t know what the time was, but the darkness that encapsulated the outside world was enough to tell her that it was late.

“What are you doing here?” She asked, leaning against her front door, a little puzzled look coming across her face as she stared at the Scottish biker standing on her porch.

He didn’t say anything, just stared at her as he handed her a letter, only making the confusion in her eyes grow. That was until she started reading the letter.

“The house is yours, if ye want it lass,” Chibs spoke, his voice quickly summarising what the letter said.

Y/n never wanted to leave Charming. She had so many memories here, it’s where she grew up, where she saw herself spending the rest of her future.

But now she couldn’t.

She couldn’t afford to continue to live where she was since the landlord upped her rent and everything else on the market was either the same or completely out of her price range, being a waitress didn’t exactly pay well. She tried to get a better job but they all rejected her.

“How?” Was all Y/n could say, her mind trying to process what she’d just heard. Had it not been for the letter she held in her hands she wouldn’t have believed it.

“I used my powers of persuasion,” he answered, feeling breathless as her gorgeous eyes met his.

“Why?” She asked, searching his eyes for an answer, trying desperately to not let her heart get ahead of her.

“I couldn’t…I didn’t..” he began, a string of incoherent curse words left his lips as he began shaking his head, his annoyance with himself growing.

For months now, Chibs had been trying to tell Y/n how he truly felt about her. That he was completely and utterly in love with her. But whenever he saw her, he could never find the words that he wanted to say.

When he heard that she was leaving, he felt his heart break. He could see the sadness in her eyes when she talked about it, no matter how many times she said she was fine with a smile on her face. He knew she wanted to stay. And he knew it was selfish but he wanted her to stay. He wanted to be honest with her, to tell her the truth about how he felt. But once again, the words he wanted to say ran away from him.

A frustrated sigh left his lips before he closed the distance between them, his arms wrapping around her wait, pulling her closer. Barely even a second later, his lips were on hers. The months of pent up passion showing themselves clearly in a feverish kiss, saying all the words he’d wanted to say.

Much to his surprise, she didn’t push him away. Instead, she wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him back, with just as much force.

“Fuck,” Chibs panted against her lips; as they both

took a minute to catch their breath, though their lips were still only inches apart.

“I did it because I love ye, Y/n and the..the thought of ye leaving broke my heart,” he muttered, staring at her with nothing but love in his eyes.

“I love you too, Filip,” Y/n whispered, feeling butterflies swarm in her stomach as she admitted the feelings she’d hidden for long; melting into the small kisses he was leaving on her lips.

Taglist:

@xacatalepsyx @i-just-read-stuff @05supernatural20 @heyitskat101 @coldlilheart @skyofficialxx @beeroses @dazzledamazon @snazzysterek @sassymox @rayslittlekitten @https-lorna @rebelwrites @hotdamnhunnam @poor-unfortunate-soul-85 @xbreezymeadowsx @flanagirl @theidiootti1 @screesflanagan @little-diable @beth-winchester21 @oskea93 @lexondeck @thexhostess @tempt-ress @doll0026 @bl3333h @it-was-all-a-beautiful-dream @invisible-ninja @meteora-fc @the-mayan-queen @redpoodlern @kishie8 @innerpaperexpertcloud @ariellostatci @rosieposie0624 @sia2raw @mayans-mc @mrsstevenbuchananstark

[distinguished-slacker]

Reading chapter 113…

I’m sure as hell the Grimm Brothers were born in the 18th century and not Ancient Greece…but wait—so now you are telling me that their books are actually all stolen works?? I am looking forward to read Egyptian Snow White and Chinese Sleeping Beauty then😶

Yuu being Mahiru 2.0. (or the other way around since Mahiru was born later). If Kagami wants to fuel the MikaYuu ship…this is just…not the way. What the hell is Shikama letting Yuu read??? Now I bet that Shikama told Asuramaru to encourage Mahiru to read these fairytales too…

Yuu: What’s a sacrifice?

Me: Well, it has black hair, green eyes, it’s cute and and is currently sitting next to an angel. Poor kid

“I’m going to go and increase humanity’s numbers a bit more”

…so then I can kill more😈

(Oh no don’t tell me that Shikama has been inseminating more women “Hiiragi style” back then…)

This panel is CURSED. It’s as if he has excess fluid in his brain and that’s putting pressure on his skull and deforming it my eyes need holy water

Sweetie, I am sure Guren said that he is keeping your sister’s corpse not that he killed her. It was Lacus who did it, but if there is actually something more calculated and Lacus killing her wasn’t by chance then things are actually getting interesting. I wonder how long I’ll have to wait for a Yoichi arc…

I am starting to question the Mikado no Oni instructors who taught Shinoa cuz last time I checked it was 13 not 14 (ok so now Yuu and Mika have been separated for 8 years, Mahiru and Guren have been planning everything since they were babies and everyone over the age of 14 died…ok ok) Math Skills 100%

And Shinoa dear, this isn’t the first time you tried to summarise what’s happening. You’ve been repeating yourself over and over, and we all already know that😑

Parallels

More parallels. Seriously Twitter fans are right. Shinoa is indeed starting to act like Yuu. I mean, everyone cries and puts their hands on their chest, but the fact that she does it not long since Yuu did the same, and the fact that Yamamoto draws her in the same perspective as Yuu is sus as hell.

Oh— so now it wasn’t Mahiru’s fault because she didn’t wish for you to come??? Doesn’t change the fact that she knew you had a complex with helping people and so for almost a whole year she used that to her own advantage (pity traps, etc.).

Then, if Guren blames himself because he had the choice of die giving up on his happiness (aka the squad) and die with the squad instead so to not cause all this mess, then we should also see Mahiru blaming himself for having the choice of giving up on Shinoa and die instead of mentally manipulating Guren into causing this mess. Sure, the final decision was Guren’s, but her decision carries as much as weight as his.

Kagami ending the chapter for the 963251th time in the infamous “I’ll tell you The Plan™” cliffhanger fashion.

“What’s the price?”

Oh no— Pls tell me they are not going to kill the remaining 10%. It hasn’t been long ago since The Four Horsemen of John vanished from Earth and the kids from around the world can go outside freely. Let. The. Kids. Be . Happy.

Overall, I feel like this chapter was more of a chapter dedicated to Shinoa rather than anything else. I am happy that she is finally letting herself be free and act like a normal girl without worrying about the beautiful chicken possessing her, and even if what Guren and Mahiru did is none of her fault, her feeling guilt over Guren and Mahiru’s suffering adds a layer of depth to her character. Even if I am not a fan, this girl really needs a big hug and comforting words. Yuu’s speech about constant blame talking getting them nowhere is right (for the sake of the plot) but him adding the word “family” at the end cheapens his words. I just feel like Yuu doesn’t bother to understand the suffering of his so called “family” (in this case being Shinoa) and thinks that everything can be solved with reminding them that they are FaMiLy🤪 Well, this guy is messed up as well, so I don’t expect him to understand that everyone does not share the same mindset as him.

However, a chapter (of the many chapters) about Shinoa is not what we needed now. We need answers and this chapter barely answered any. They are still on the car (and why are their hair not moving with wind) with still no idea of what the plan is, like in the previous chapters Kagami is probably prolonging this until the end of the volume for impact purposes.

Krul and Mika are my mood. I love Kimizuki for pointing out that Guren has no right to take that attitude with them. Mitsuba is still a tree in the background, but at least she is getting more panels per chapter, and can we please stop with Dead Shinya flashbacks following Dead Hyakuya Kids flashbacks’ legacy and being repeated all the time? If you are going to show Shinya, then do it in another way😭

[grewlikefancyflowers]

JC’s deeply rooted resentment of WWX, JFM’s parenting, and the inevitability of the falling out of the ‘Yunmeng bros’.

In discussion of the breakdown of JC and WWX’s relationship, their falling out is often regarded as a mutual failing on both sides to properly communicate and maintain their relationship. I’m making the case here that their falling out was a foregone conclusion from the start, and in no part due to the actions of Wei Wuxian.

This is because YZY has instilled in JC the idea that JFM dislikes him, something he believes before WWX arrives in Lotus Pier, JC already feels inferior, thus as soon as potential competition for JFM’s attention comes along in the form of WWX, JC resents him, believes JFM prefers him, and looks for reasons to justify this. 

Summarising their very first interactions - from chapter 71 - WWX arrives at LP, sees JC with his puppies and is so terrified that he refuses to come down from JFM’s arms the entire day. The second day, JFM gives JC’s puppies away.

Now, I would like to think that no one seriously believes that this is an act of favouritism, but I have seen this case being made so I just want to make clear that WWX is obviously traumatised by his previous interactions with dogs. After trying for a whole day to comfort WWX, with no success, JFM does not exactly have any other choice than to give the puppies away, WWX cannot be expected to live in constant terror in the place that is supposed to be his home.

Consequently, ‘This angered Jiang Cheng so much that he threw a big tantrum. No matter how much Jiang FengMian comforted him gently, telling him that they should ‘be good friends’, he refused to talk to Wei WuXian.’

JC’s reaction is fairly understandable for an 8 year old. JFM comforts JC, and does not treat him callously or dismiss him, however it takes several days until JC will even talk to WWX.

When JC does start to warm up to him, JFM thinks it’d be a good idea for them to have a sleepover, JC is on the ‘verge of agreeing’ to this, which JFM is overjoyed by - so much so that he picks WWX up.

This is not an example of favouritism, JFM doesn't repeatedly give affection to WWX and not JC, he holds him twice - the first instance being purely because WWX was too terrified to leave his arms, the second being this one. These are the only two times where JFM is described as being affectionate towards WWX, JC is still in the lead on this count. But JC interprets this as JFM preferring WWX.

This results in the JC shutting WWX out at night.

At that time, Wei WuXian didn’t know what Jiang Cheng was mad about at all. After a pause, he replied, “I didn’t steal anything. It’s Uncle Jiang who told me to sleep with you.”

Hearing that he was still bringing up his father, almost as if he was purposely showing off, Jiang Cheng’s eyes reddened as he yelled, “Go away! If I see you again, I’ll call a bunch of dogs to bite you!”

This is the important part - JC sees WWX in the worst possible light, and rarely thinks of WWX as a person outside of how he directly impacts JC - he concludes that WWX is purposefully antagonising him, this is a trend that continues well into adulthood.

Then, when WWX flees LP after JC threatens him with dogs, JYL tells JC to find people to help search for him. However,

‘If any other disciple or servant learned about this and told Jiang FengMian, after Jiang FengMian knew how he threw Wei WuXian’s sheets out and made him hurt his leg, Jiang FengMian would definitely dislike him even more. This was also why he only dared chase after them alone and didn’t get anyone else.’

JC has obviously behaved wrongly here, and JFM would be right to scold him for it, but JC interprets this as JFM disliking him. We haven’t seen anything to suggest that JFM actually dislikes JC, he always treats him quite gently, actually. But JC is already at the conclusion that JFM dislikes him, and twists events to suit this - if his dad scolds him for misbehaving, it’s because he dislikes him. This pattern repeats after the Xuanwu Cave arc too.

This is because Madam Yu has ingrained into him the idea that JFM dislikes him, because he’s her son. This has nothing to do with WWX - because both her and JC already believe that JFM dislikes JC prior to WWX’s arrival -  she only sees him as additional fuel to use.

The only other person who mentions JFM supposedly treating WWX better than JC is JZX. I’m sure it's a coincidence that he’s the son of YZY’s best friend.

‘“Doesn’t he treat you better than treating his own child or something?”’

Note the ‘or something’, - JZX doesn’t seem to know this with certainty - he’s repeating what others have said, despite having visited Lotus Pier several times (as stated in ch.69), JZX hasn’t seen evidence for himself that JFM prefers WWX.

‘“Maybe I should’ve let you hit him, while I stand aside and watch. This way, Uncle Jiang might not need to come. Oh well, I really couldn’t hold back!”’

We know that WWX doesn’t see JFM as favouring him - so what does he mean by this? Well, LQR has had it out for WWX from the moment they met, and has already sent a letter to JFM complaining of his behaviour - at this point WWX doesn’t know that this results in them breaking the JZX/JYL engagement either, so he’s probably purely thinking that LQR summoned JFM to CR to discuss WWX’s repeated offenses. JC hasn’t done anything to invoke LQR’s ire (or rather, he’s gotten away with everything he has done), so WWX thinks that if JC fought JZX, it would not have been treated so seriously, compared to WWX, who has repeatedly misbehaved.

Contrary to fanon interpretation, WWX is not oblivious to other people’s feelings, he’s very empathetic, and additionally understands JC very well. He doesn’t see how JC is feeling here, because JC’s feelings are just so illogical...

‘Although it was only Wei WuXian’s casual words, he held mixed feelings, because he knew that this wasn’t a lie.

Jiang FengMian had never hurried to another sect in one day for anything related to him, no matter if the issue was good or bad, large or small.

Never.’

Once again, JC’s at the conclusion that JFM dislikes him, he twists events to support this. He’s looking at this scenario very strangely - JFM didn’t rush to CR because he likes WWX, he was called there by LQR, to discuss JYL’s engagement with JZX. Secondly, we’re never given any examples of scenarios where JC does anything to warrant JFM rushing over. As far as we know, they never even stay with other sects. Knowing JC’s personality, his dislike of doing anything to rock the boat, it’s extremely unlikely that he’s ever done anything to warrant JFM rushing over like this. Moreover, it’s a bizarre thing to be jealous of, WWX is in trouble, he’s not on the receiving end of positive attention from JFM. 

JC’s flawed reasoning is once again illustrated after the Xuanwu Cave arc...

‘Jiang Cheng’s expression was complicated after he had finished listening.’

This is Jiang Cheng’s reaction after WWX credits LWJ with killing the tortoise of slaughter - this is before JFM congratulates him. Before JFM says anything, JC is purely resentful about WWX having done something heroic, more so, resentful that WWX is willingly to let LWJ take most of the credit - he’s annoyed about this, most likely feeling that WWX is rubbing in his face that he doesn’t need the recognition that JC so desperately craves.

‘Jiang FengMian nodded and said, “You did well.”

Killing a giant 400-year-old beast at only 17 was way beyond what one would call ‘doing well.’’

JFM knows about JC’s… issues, he knows how he’ll react to WWX’s receiving recognition, he likely purposefully downplays his praise to avoid upsetting him. (Who’s really being favouritised? Lol)

But, even to this, JC reacts badly, he lashes out at WWX, once more interpreting him in the worst possible way.

‘Jiang Cheng hissed, “Too fucking bad, then. You shouldn’t have been so damn stubborn and you shouldn’t have cared so damn much about such a trivial thing. If you’d never moved in the first place –”’

JC’s response is to basically tell him the entire incident was his fault. Which is objectively not true - WWX only gets involved in the conflict after it has already started, and then he acts deliberately to try to end it, rather than impulsively fighting. He also starts to say that WWX should have left their allies - LWJ and JZX - to die. This is where JFM cuts him off, and tells him it’s not appropriate to say such things - he’s not scolding him harshly, JC is not being unfairly treated here, he’s done wrong, and JFM is trying to teach him why, you know, parenting. But JC, and YZY, take this to mean JFM dislikes JC.

JFM tries to teach JC about the Jiang sect’s motto once more - this is of course, not just about the motto, but about the values that JFM wants to instill in him, as a parent.

This is where Madam Yu arrives.

“Yes, he doesn’t understand, but what does it matter, as long as Wei Ying understands?!”

Of course, what she says is nonsensical, it does matter to JFM that JC understands the motto, that’s why he’s trying to teach him. If he did not care, he would have given in already.

This is further supported...

‘Jiang Cheng’s appearance and temperament all resembled his mother’s. Jiang FengMian guided him from childhood, but no matter how much he tried, he still couldn’t change his son’s nature. As such, it always seemed like he disliked his son.’

JFM has never been dismissive of JC just because he’s YZY’s son, he’s always tried to teach him, but JC always had his mother’s nature - YZY’s nature being harsh, standoffish, foul tempered, with no care for others - Note that is says it ‘seems’ like he dislikes his son, solely because he’s trying to teach him to be a better person. He has good reason for doing so - as a kid, JC never had friends, he doesn’t seem to as an adult either, he only has Jin Ling, whom he pushes away with his foul temper. JFM was just trying to raise JC to being an even-tempered person, capable of functioning in society, which is kind of what parents are supposed to do. But once more, this is taken as dislike.

Note that during JC’s outburst, every single thing JC claims about what JFM thinks of him, he’s parroting what YZY has said, none of these points have any actual evidence.

The next point to consider is how JC blames WWX for the fall of LP, despite it objectively not being his fault - JC knows this too.

‘In his heart, Jiang Cheng knew clearly that back in the cave of the Xuanwu of Slaughter at Dusk-Creek Mountain, even if Wei WuXian hadn’t saved Lan WangJi, the Wen Sect would have found some reason to come over sooner or later’

Even if WWX’s actions did prompt the Wens to act sooner than they otherwise might have - coming sooner or later would have made no difference at all because YZY outright stated she had no intention of preparing for an attack, even after WWX suggests they should, and JFM was still going to the Wens asking for their swords back - they were still uselessly trying to suck up to the Wens, thinking it would save them.

Despite knowing deep down that WWX was not to blame - he still uses it to fuel his resentment of WWX, because the resentment was there from the beginning, the only uncertainty is the means he uses to justify it.

During the ancestral hall confrontation - he uses this excuse again.

‘Jiang Cheng responded contemptuously, “You really are forgetful. What’s called a shameful person? Let me remind you. Just because you decided to be a hero and save this Second Young Master Lan, the entire Lotus Pier including my father and mother was buried. If this wasn’t enough, after the first time, you still want a second time, even wanting to save Wen-dogs and implicating my sister and her husband, how noble of you. Even nobler, you are so magnanimous to bring these two to Lotus Pier. Allowing the Wen-dog to stand at the front of my gates and letting Second Young Master Lan offer joss sticks, purely trying to antagonize me.’

Obviously, WWX did none of these things to antagonise JC, in fact he was going through a complex emotional journey of realising that he has feelings for LWJ, and that LWJ probably has feelings for him too, he doesn’t go to the ancestral shrine to mess around - he’s ‘introducing’ LWJ to JFM, YZY, and JYL, because he’s thinking about marrying him.

The problem is, JC never really sees WWX as a person, WWX has always been more of a concept - someone to compare himself to, the reason his father doesn’t like him, the reason his mother uses to berate him. It doesn’t occur to JC that WWX is a person outside of what he is to JC, and he is therefore incapable of empathising with what WWX might be feeling right now, instead the only possible conclusion is that he’s antagonising JC.

He follows the same line of thinking when WWX defects with the Wens. JC knows what he and WWX owe them, in fact JC owes them, far, far more than what WWX does - it was his parents whose bodies Wen Ning retrieved, and it was him who WN had to rescue from LP. But JC thinks, he can get away with not paying this debt, so why should he? JC is selfish, he doesn’t understand why WWX would want to help others when he doesn’t have to, so JC concludes, this is WWX showing off, ‘playing the hero’. 

Because from the moment they met, JC has never tried to know WWX for who he is, whatever WWX does, JC interprets in a negative light - when WWX tries to get LWJ’s attention, (despite it being painstakingly obvious that WWX has a crush on him) JC concludes that WWX is messing around foolishly, without reason (parroting the untrue things YZY says about WWX always seeking trouble). When WWX wants to help people, he’s playing the hero, one upping JC. JC only ever thinks of WWX in relation to himself - when WWX disappears for three months, JC’s immediate complaint is that WWX kept him waiting, that he’s put JC out by making him search for him. You could argue that JC was just worried about WWX, and not able to express it - and on some level that’s true. But there’s a very intentional contrast between how LWJ and JC react to WWX’s return - LWJ is worried about WWX, about how his cultivation method is affecting him, moreover, WWX is very clearly not himself. JC, however, does not care for that - he only sees WWX, and modao, as a tool for killing Wens.

It takes almost nothing for JGS to manipulate JC into turning against WWX in ch.73 - he readily believes every negative thing JGS says about WWX, despite being called out directly for lying by LWJ. JGS talks as if he is a servant who has forgotten his place, unlike JYL, JC does not defend him. He refuses to speak up for him - he claims that no one will - yet LWJ and MianMian did. JC didn’t turn on WWX because it was impossible for him to speak up - he was living proof that WQ and WN did not support the Wen sect in the war, he drops him the moment he can because he’s resented him from the beginning.

Another interesting tidbit about JC just fundamentally not understanding who WWX is as a person, is that he only blames LWJ for the Xuanwu Cave incident - not JZX, despite him behaving no differently to how LWJ does. This is probably because he realises WWX’s fixation on LWJ, and supposes that this is the reason that WWX got involved in the conflict. But of course, WWX would have done something whether it was solely JZX, or just a random person.

Taking all this into account, it seems almost inevitable that WWX and JC would fall out eventually, because JC was, from the start, looking for reasons to dislike WWX, he turns against him at the first opportunity he got. For the ‘Yunmeng bros’ to have a healthy relationship, JC would simply have to fix his entire personality.

JC is unable to see WWX as a person, right up until the very end of the novel - when he recalls how he impulsively put himself at risk in order to save WWX. Finally, for the first time, JC is able to understand why WWX stood up for others in Xuanwu Cave, why he helped the Wens, because JC did the same thing, put himself on the line for WWX, probably the only time JC has ever acted so selflessly. And this is why he lets him go, he lets go of the things he blamed WWX for. For the first time, he is able to empathise with WWX, he understands that WWX was never ‘playing the hero’, seeking praise or recognition, he understands that WWX helps people purely because he feels in the moment that it’s the right thing to do. This is what enables him to finally let go of WWX.

I’m always a bit baffled when people claim mxtx never gave JC a happy ending, because this is his happy ending - him being able to realise that WWX never wronged him - when he finally lets go of this, he can live freely. 

[i-got-the-feels]

Things I can’t stop thinking and talking about from Iron Fist Season 2:

Davos

• He genuinely thinks he is doing the right thing and the right way and for right reasons (to help and not for power) and that is seen when he says

"(I don't want to) To wear a crown in kingdom of inquity"

• I still think he is a hypocritical narcissistic egoistic asshole but I see a lot of it comes from anger, resentment and bitterness because of his mother's emotional abuse. The abuse that killed the compassion when kid Davos had to kid Danny "Of course, I wouldn't kill you, you are my brother" because his mother told him he was weak because of his compassion. How she said she would rather be barren than take the shame that came with him loosing the iron fist to an outsider.

• Danny just voices out something that Davos thinks but refuses to acknowledge as seen by the hauntingly beautiful Indian classical tone (you go, Robert Lydecker) played as background music conveying Davos internal conflicts when he is verbally and physically fighting Danny.

"Why did you think your father called the fight that day? To save your pride? Or he knew what you would become one day?"

• The goodbye Danny and Davos had - while Davos still doesn't think what Danny did is right by giving the fist to Colleen or how he used it, in this moment he subtly acknowledges Danny is the better man between them

"After all I have done to you, you still approach me with compassion?"

"My compassion is a choice. It doesn't come easy"

Danny and Colleen

• Danny supporting Colleen while searching for her family.

•"You built your whole identity around this mantle. And then they wind changes. If anyone gets that, its me " - Colleen Wing

• Danny respecting her choice not to fight but also pushing her (asking her to train him to fight when he doesn't have iron fist and has a broken leg) when time requires it to which Colleen responds, "That's maybe something you need. But its not something I can give"

• Their good bye"You thought what you did was right and no one can fault you for that. We just have to be honest about the consequences" - Colleen and Danny's goodbye

(no because Danny and Colleen are THE MCU couple for me and I am heartbroken that they broke up)

Danny being right to give Colleen the Fist

• Because when he tells Ward how he feels he uses the fist and Ward tells him that sounds a lot like his issues with addiction.

• This exchange between Danny and Ward.

"It must feel like losing a part of yourself"

"It wasn't a part of me. It was me."

• How the acquiring the Iron Fist has been the mission his entire life and the fist itself us a purpose and not the things he does with it. Kf course, he knows where he leans or rather on which of morality he leans (Blood for blood. That's not justice. That's escalation) - but why is he fighting the fight, what does he believe in that is something he has to figure out - figure out himself ? and it was beautifully summarised when he said "I was fighting for the iron fist" and shown in that scene how he fired up the fist and punched the metal scraps in that garage even when there wasn't a fight.

• And he was right to give to Colleen because she has dealt with her anger, her sense of rage and it is seen when she is the one telling Danny "to think and choose"

• Colleen choosing to take the fist after BB's death because that is another student she lost and she tried helping by not fighting and even that lead to death of student, the reason she gave up fighting and teaching, so she chooses to try again because this time she knows herself better.

Ward and Joy and Harold's shadow

• I understand Joy's anger for being lied and manipulated for years, however I al felt angry at (and still am to a huge extent) for Joy not understanding why Ward had to do that. What he had to live through and when he tells her the details - you can see the hurt, the sadness that Ward wengt through this and lived through that but she cannot acknowledge it because if she does she has to acknowledge that her father was a bad man and she hates him and that isn't something she is ready to do.

• How when Danny genuinely wishes her good luck- you can see the guilt, the doubt of what she is doing is right or not but while here she had doubts, what she has in certainity are feelings of rage and betrayal and way she thinks to reduce that - to feel vindicated.

• How Ward understands what Joy is about to do with Davos when he connects the dots about the solar project and his mother's renewable energy ngo work before she passed away. How he went to help her without a doubt.

• How they both acknowledge they both are scarred because of their dad and toxic family environment and that is why whatever and whoever they touch is ruined.

• How Ward understands and accepts even if it hurts why Bethany needs Ward to not be involved currently in the child's life because as Ward himself said "I have assessed myself through my relationships and without them I don't know who I am" and if he would be an involved father- he would be continuing the very cycle he is trying to break.

• Ward doing what he has wanted for years. Breaking free to have a new start to discover who he is with Danny (seriously, their brkmance and friendship is so so important to me)

• How Ward says with certainty "you have to deal with him" if he is harmed like he KNOWS he isn't alone anymore and his someone in his corner.

Misty and Colleen

• The exchange they have police car

"Just because you can't fight. Doesn't mean you can't help" - Misty

"You’re right" - Coolleen

• Colleen saying she can't trust her judgements and instincts like before (afer Hand) and isn't sure if she should be a cop when offered by Misty and Misty replying

"With and gun and shield, I want a person who questions their judgement. Its the one who thinks they are right that scare me" being a call back to Danny saying "He thinks he is driven by virtue"

•"I am proud of you Colleen and am excited to see what you do with that thing" Misty being the first and only person beside Danny to say this to her. Something she needs to hear until she completely believes it.

Cooleen and Sherry Yang

The tension and respect two powerful women ok opposing sides have for each other. How Colleen tells that remembering lost lives is not enough and that real change, them going legal has to happen for to honour these lost lives and Yang tells Colleen I know that and you also know its realistic to expect that change overnight- so all we can and will do till then is live in this precarious delicate balance.

Mary and Walker

•Mary and Walker - That shot of half her face seen/ half not seen, the drawing of half and half.

•Walker listening to Mary and seeking a therapist for help.

•Walker wanting to kill Davos simply (and when Davos's asks if it's Joy and she goes "that was three jobs ago, this is because I simply don't like you" because she knows he is not a man who will stop by any other means.

•Walker wittily saying "and your sister let me call you a pussy" when Ward reveals he killed hia father twice because the first time he came back to life.

• Walker going to Joy - not just because she needs her connections and resources but because Joy was the first to know about her condition, the first one who said that Mary and Walker protected and helped each other and weren't enemies.

•Quotes that I like

•This quote between Joy and Davos

"Then what are you asking for? Faith?"

"Trust"

and its such a well-written dialogue because Faith is blind, it is something you have to do without evidence and once you choose to have faith it's difficult to let go of it but trust isn't blind- its something you choose to have after looking at evidence, it's something you assess and reassess to think if you should continue trusting or not.

•Share and share alike/Violence begins Violence.

•Chances always look like fate in taillights.

•Nothing ends without a beginning.Just as start is invetiably a step towards ending.

(this was a beautiful show, once the characters got to be themselves and not set-up to a limited seriea- they were more layered. I am so disappointed the show ended because I wanted to see Colleen with Iron Fist, Danny with those guns, Joy running her own company, Ward and Danny discovering themselves and its shame we won't get to see it)

Season 1

[petitfanboy]

Comprehensive and in-depth analysis of Asuka and Shinji relationship in 3.0+1.0, implications for the ending and why many youtube Eva analysis videos titles I believe are wrong. (Spoilers ahead)

Preface

It seems it was yesterday when I wrote an extended essay regarding the essential and critical relationship of Asuka and Shinji in Evangelion for the last time. However, seven years have passed. 

My idea here is to write, in general lines, about the relationship of Asuka and Shinji in the last movie and the ending and its implications in a more detailed way. I will use different analyses I have read so far besides mine, and you will find the links to all of them in the text. 

I have tried to maintain an analysis that followed the narrative plot and what I believe is closer to what the director wants to express. However, as Anno himself has said multiple times, his work may inspire different feelings in different people, so I understand where the differences might come from and, in no way, this is intended as a confrontation to other opinions and theories. 

Please, let me start with an introduction.

Introduction

While a lot has changed for me in these years, my view of A/S relationship in the whole Eva universe, including their dynamics, meaning, and canonical aspects have not changed. 

Long story short, A/S represent core aspects of the message Evangelion wants to transmit: The Hedgehog's dilemma, the fear of connecting and rejection while having a strong desire to be loved and understood, and finally, the pursuit of happiness. Asuka and Shinji are opposites on their outside and equals on their inside. A perfect match for exploring those issues.

RoE makes clear their similarities

Asuka and Shinji similarities

Evangelion arrives at a fulfilling conclusion at the end, showing us how it is possible to overcome the abovementioned problems. To depict that, it always involves resolving the different issues Asuka and Shinji have between them, becoming closer, opening to one another and, probably and eventually, staying together.

Evangelion portrays that resolution using scenes showing the exact moment of the change in A/S dynamics, the moment when both pursued real connection starts. What happens after that change is unknown, but the intention is clear: once they begin to make an effort, they have the chance to be happy together.

Before the release of 3.0+1.0, different spoilers and youtube video’s titles ruined my life, as I suppose that happened to some of you. It had such a significant impact on me that it is hard to define with words. Not because I was an angry asushin fanboy as some might classify me, but because, had it been confirmed, it would have meant that the message that Evangelion has been constructing since its first airing was shattered to pieces. I could not accept it.

At that specific moment, the Eva Extra Ex manga came and saved me.

Eva Extra Ex Manga Translated

I cannot highlight enough how important this manga was and still, it is. For me, it represented a call from Anno himself, saying: Do not worry, Evangelion is going to keep being Evangelion. I still recall the endless discussions on the internet when 3.0 came out about the effect of the time-skip, in what lousy state the relationship between Shinji and Asuka was (or if it was even inexistent!) and how Evangelion was going to transmit another message in the end. For me, there were always precise moments in 3.0 that pointed against those conclusions. But with Eva Extra, everything changed. It tied aspects of 2.0 and 3.0 very nicely and allowed us to discover more regarding Asuka's feelings and motivations.

With the first interaction in the manga between Asuka and Mari, we see that Asuka still has (deep) feelings for Shinji.  As the story progresses, we see how Asuka reacts to Mari's teasing and how unconvinced Mari is of all the bravado that she displays. A/S relationship, alongside their communication and hedgehog's dilemma related problems, still existed in the present timeline of the events of 3.0 and 3.0+1.0.

God's in his heaven all right with the world.

Chapter 1: The houses of healing

Instead of speaking of every Shinji/Asuka interaction scene, I will try to make this analysis lighter by talking about how it progresses across the film and focusing only on key scenes.

The film's first part explains how Shinji achieves healing after understanding how people around him are friendly, which is a big difference from EoE. In EoE, it was impossible. Shinji was left hurt and without any option to heal. He ultimately achieved healing through his experiences in instrumentality, leading to the ending and the hope/love message we all know in One More Final: I need you.

This process, this healing, happens in a precise location. That is the reason for the chapter's title. I took the liberty of naming this first chapter as the eighth chapter of Tolkien's book The Return of the King. But, what place is it?

Initially, Shinji is taken to Toji's house. While that place suits Rei, who will understand the basic meaning of life and being human, Shinji makes no progress there. Interestingly, Kensuke sees how Shinji is not making any progress and suggests he should go with him to his house. Why? It is driven by his new parental role, reminiscent of Kaji. He thinks why Shinji is in such a state and understand his needs at that moment. Besides, with or without knowing it, he reunites Shinji and Asuka under the same roof and the same parental figure.

I cannot say that he willingly wanted to reunite Shinji with Asuka, although I am sure he thought it was a direct consequence of carrying Shinji with him, so he was happy with that idea. As we know from 2.0 and the original series, their friends are the ones who notice Asuka and Shinji bond, so it would not be strange that Kensuke wanted to reunite both of them.

With or without Kensuke's will, bringing Shinji to Kensuke's house mirrors Misato's apartment, but with a male figure as the leader (i.e. A Kaji instead of Misato). It is a comeback to better times. Kensuke takes the parental figure for both Shinji and Asuka, as Misato did when Asuka moved in 2.0 for both children. This time, Asuka is the one who is already living there (previously it was Shinji), and Shinji is the one who arrives later.  In 3.0+1.0 Misato cannot fulfil her maternal role anymore, as explained later in the film (and redeemed at the end).

Let me linger on this parallel. In 2.0, when Asuka arrives at Misato's house and introduces Asuka to Shinji, we have the romantic comedy scene of the shower a few minutes later. The scene makes us understand that they feel some attraction to each other, albeit in a very early stage (and introduces PenPen to Asuka). Time forward, this first interaction is repeated in Kensuke's house. When Shinji arrives, he finds Asuka naked after having a shower. This time, no reaction is seen from either part explicitly. Neither Shinji nor Asuka blushed or overreacted, but Asuka clearly states her disappointment, which shows us her desire that Shinji reacted, that Shinji expressed attraction towards her. A significant line that adds up to all the previous evidence about Asuka's persistent feelings for Shinji. What about Shinji? There is a minor detail. When he sees Asuka naked, he stares at her with a glare that is just a mix of emotions. Although it is difficult to tell what he is thinking, Asuka is directly opposite him, and he can see both the DSS choker and her body. However, he only notices the choker when she wraps herself with a towel. Draw your conclusions.

From that point onwards, we get a few scenes representing the problem Asuka and Shinji have communicating and how alike they are. When Shinji throws up for the first time, Asuka explains to Kensuke why Shinji behaves like that and shuts himself off. However, she is doing the same, playing with her console. Asuka's video game is Shinji's SDAT.  Asuka hates the behaviour of Shinji because she sees her flaws in him.

Despite all the façade, she tries to communicate and help Shinji repeatedly in the coming scenes, checking on him on several occasions. Whenever she does that, the movie clearly shows us that she has abandoned her Shinji-like behaviour, showing us the console turned off.

Asuka and her videogame

The climax of their conflict is the force-feeding scene. But before analysing that scene, let me tell you a few more details.

I believe that the mirroring of Misato's apartment is portrayed through other details. For example, the name KenKen might have been chosen in honour of the missing companion from Misato's apartment: PenPen.

Furthermore, while some people might find odd the tendency of Asuka to be naked, this is driven by her disgust with her own body, which is shown in the Eva Extra manga. Finally, to enforce the idea that the relationship between Kensuke and Asuka is different from the one that she and Shinji have, it is essential to notice how Kensuke calls them. He calls them by their surnames, Shikiname and Ikari, placing distance between them.

Let's return to the force-feeding scene. In that scene, Asuka wants to help him, which is why she feeds him, and at the same time, she explains her frustration regarding the lack of reaction and understanding on his part. The conflict between them is portrayed similarly to the Eva 03 incident in 2.0

Visual comparison 1

Visual comparison 2

She is trying to understand him, and she tells him rather precisely why she thinks he is in such a state. She only wants him to reciprocate that understanding, and she wants him to think and explain why she punched him after seeing each other after 14 years. I must highlight the punch's importance. It summarises their communication problems, their conflict. Eva clarifies it in 3.0 using the same parallelisms as other communication problems, like Gendo and Shinji.

However, we know how she feels. The Eva extra manga gives us that insight. She has feelings for Shinji but hates his inaction due to his internal struggles. The hedgehog's spikes have been replaced by a punch. If they can talk about the punch, they will start communicating.

From an external view, Shinji reacts to being force-fed in a way that probably is not what Asuka wanted. Shinji leaves the house, followed secretly by Asuka, in another display of how Asuka feels internally.  It is another parallelism with Misato's apartment, again with a reversal of roles between Shinji and Asuka.

Parallelism

However, we will learn in future events that Shinji started to think about what Asuka told him at that moment, so he listened to her.From this point onwards, Shinji will deal with his thoughts and come to an understanding with himself. It is not achieved alone, but with the help of Rei and, although not directly, Asuka. She is the one who directs Rei to the place where Shinji is and continues checking on him to see that everything is going fine. She is there.

Asuka cares

When Shinji grows up and maturates, we have the first bidirectional communication attempt between Asuka and Shinji. While she asks Shinji if he feels better, he responds with only sounds. Yet, this is the first time they have tried to talk about their respective problems and emotions calmly. We will see this pattern repeat itself several times in the movie: Shinji grows a bit, and then Asuka opens herself another bit. It is very interesting to see Asuka's glare. Asuka is drawn with that glare whenever she is looking at Shinji in a positive/concerning him way. We will return to that later. Besides, she speaks to him without looking at her console.

All this healing process ends in a sentence that is easily overlooked. The night Kensuke is discussing with Asuka the plans to return to the Wunder, Shinji comes home and says, "I am home". It is the reflection of Shinji's complete healing. Thanks to his growth, he has found a new place where he belongs once more. It let us understand why he will consider that this place is important for Asuka too. Both have suffered the same parental love deprivation, lacking a place where they truly belong. Finding a place that they can call home is part of their way to happiness and usually happens before both connect.

The film also let us see how Shinji heals, comparing it with the healing of one of the village's dogs

Now, Shinji is ready to go with Asuka to the Wunder and start a transformative journey for himself and those around him. But first, let me post a few more details, some of which I had not noticed until doing some research on the internet:

Visual comparisons that highlight the similar role of Kensuke as Kaji (Parental role)

2. Asuka's scarf to hide her DSS choker.

3. The possible futon share between Asuka and Shinji, showing how she cares about him.

Chapter 2: A trip in the Wunder

The most relevant scene for their relationship in the Wunder is Asuka's confession. However, there are a couple of interesting interactions before that. The first one is the display of Asuka's jealousy of Sakura when she sees her interaction with Shinji, saying, "Are you his wife?"

The second one happens when Asuka meets Mari. While loaded with fanservice, this interaction is not trivial. Mari's teasing is an essential element in the Rebuild series, even more knowing how important the character of Mari will become at the end. She seems to be aware of Asuka's real feelings, and we know from the Eva extra manga that she tries to push Shinji and Asuka together, which I will come back to later. Asuka replies to Mari's teasing that Shinji "does not need a lover, he needs a mother". This sentence is a double edge sword. First, it shows Asuka's interest in Shinji as a romantic partner, given her deception, and actually, Asuka is saying this sentence while she is playing the videogame, so probably she is hiding her feelings, shutting herself oof the world as Shinji used to do. Second, it shows the problems they face: Communication and maturity. Maturity, because Asuka feels that Shinji has not changed as she has had, and communication, because as we will soon know, Asuka also wants that figure in her life. However, it is not true that Shinji has not grown up. It is just that they have not tried to communicate again, and thus, she does not know about Shinji's recent developments

Everything will change when Asuka faces the reality of possible death. Before the "final battle", she decides to reach out for Shinji. After Mari introduces herself to Shinji in an awkward way that will be important in the ending, Asuka repeats her question. In reality, she asks if he has thought about her, how she feels and everything she has gone through. To Asuka's surprise, Shinji answers the question, blaming his inaction. Taking this as a partial sign of maturity and growth, Asuka starts opening herself, although not wholly, a sign that Shinji's answer might not have been entirely correct. Besides, her body language is similar to the previous lift scenes in Evangelion, where we know she hid her real emotions.

She will equal what to tell Shinji to Shinji's growth. Therefore, she explains to him how she liked him 14 years ago, but not how she feels now. Furthermore, she leaves before Shinji can reply to her statement, leaving Shinji staring back at her through the glass. So, it is Mari again who makes us understand that this has been a sign of communication that goes in the right direction. She congratulates Shinji and stimulates him to continue like this. Again, Mari is trying to solve Asuka and Shinji's problems. Mari says goodbye in Chinese to Shinji (perhaps, a way to tell us that the spell of goodbye works, as they meet again later) and goes to do the same with Asuka, asking her if she feels better. Mari is trying to make Asuka see that opening herself to Shinji will bring happiness to her too.

Nevertheless, we must not forget that the short confession happened because Asuka thought this might have been the end. In a sense, it almost was.

Chapter 3: I need you

This chapter starts after Shinji and Gendo have resolved their issues. As I explained before, the need of resolving their parental matters will be critical to both Shinji and Asuka. The same happened in EoE. Asuka gets to know her mother in her battle against the mass-produced Eva, and Shinji learns about his father's plans and mother during instrumentality. After those experiences and their other interactions through instrumentality, they arrive at the I need you scene where they open to each other.

Gendo gets off the train, and the control of instrumentality is handed over to Kaworu. While Gendo was willing to sacrifice everything for his sake, the growth of Shinji reaches its maximum at this point. Shinji decides to take the reversal role of his father. Even if he is heartbroken or it is a hard and not a pleasant experience, he wants to help Asuka and those who were nice to him. This is the transformative journey that Shinji accomplishes in RoE that marks a completely different path from NGE+EoE.

I worded the sentence highlighting Asuka because those are the literal words of Shinji, naming Asuka as an individual and using the Japanese word "minna" for the rest, which could be the rest of his friends or even the rest of humanity. Shinji has learnt that he must give without seeking anything in return. He must stop thinking about himself only. He is going to help their friends without any positive repercussions on himself. As he later will explain, he plans to rewrite the world with the new spear given by Misato to get rid of the Evas and what they represent, stopping the cycle of suffering that comes with them, and let their friends live a happy life.

Symbolism of the spear

Interestingly, he does not explain this to Asuka and only mentions it to Rei, with some hesitation, which is what prompts him to tell her that Mari would come for him eventually. That behaviour is because for getting rid of the Eva and rewriting the world, he needs to impale himself with the spear inside Eva 01. While we do not know for sure the effects on Shinji, the way it is portrayed resembles a willing sacrifice, a person opening himself to that terrible outcome for a better benefit for their friends. Besides, we must not forget that the sync rate of Shinji with his Eva was infinite at that time, so probably the expected outcome would be the death of the pilot and he knew about that.

This situation is what gives us an essential context for understanding Shinji's actions. As Asuka earlier, he also thought that he might not return. But let’s see what happens with Asuka and Shinji.

The first to be saved is Asuka. As some sort of guardian for Asuka (and Shinji, and even Asuka/Shinji relationship), Mari reminds Shinji before he leaves her entry plug in the anti-universe that he has to find her. And he does.

There are many iconic and meaningful landscapes in Evangelion. Still, none of them has the symbolism, meaning, emotional associations and beauty as the beach where Shinji and Asuka laid at the EoE has. Although it is not the same beach and there are different details, the scene's meaning is clear. It was the scenario of One More Final: I need you. Thus, the location evokes that meaning, where Shinji and Asuka connected and expressed their emotions and feelings in EoE. To increase and highlight that intention, the first shot we have of the landscape is a full white moon, a remnant from the N3I. The moon has always been a poetic figure for love, and it brightens the sand creating the white beach. It is the perfect scenario to share an intimate moment.

Then, a saved, Eva curse-free Asuka awakes. The first sentence references the fact that the curse of Eva is lifted, and she can sleep. As some people detail, the plugsuit is a combination of different ones. This phenomenon will repeatedly happen in the anti-universe. Long story short, as I do not want to enter the terrain of the time loops and different universes, I believe that the idea behind that symbolism is that Evangelion is a multiverse. The anti-universe might somehow connect them, and we can see them. However, the characters remain the same from the universe where they come from. Only those annotated in the book of life remember those other universes or RoE time-loops (which seem to affect only the RoE universe and seem not to be confirmed in the other universes), and probably, as Shinji is in charge of the flow of events, the bleeding in his memories is what drives those changes.

The fact that Asuka wears a plugsuit that is a combination of previous ones, does not mean that she is Soryu or several Asukas at the same time. She is Shikinami, and it is the first time that she is on that beach. Her background and memories are from the RoE timeline, as she does not express, as Shinji will do later, any perception of that phenomenon. The same goes for their location. While they are on a similar beach, it is not the same where Soryu and Shinji found themselves in EoE. It is probably the bleeding of details between universes that wraps the metanarrative message that gives importance to the scenery (that beach is where they connected and accepted each other both in EoE and in this movie, and the place will always symbolise that)

Even those aware of other timelines (Kaworu and Shinji at that point) can only remember that they met before or have a déjà vu feeling. They do not have a complete insight into what happened. I think that this bleeding of details gives an important message: All the universes of Evangelion exist. Soryu and Shinji's story from NGE and EOE has happened, albeit in another universe, part of a larger multiverse. In a sense, it is saying that NGE+EoE is as canon as RoE, something essential to maintain coherency. The difference is that they happen in different physical planes of space and time.

Let's return to the fact that a grown Asuka is on the beach. The camera plays, repeating the same shots as in EoE, linking both scenes thematically again. Moreover, the visual links expands to other couples in Eva.

Here, Shinji sits next to Asuka, with his arms around his legs and a completely different gaze, making clear Shinji is happy to see her. The events follow this path:

Asuka sees Shinji next to her and calls him "Baka Shinji" in a not mean way. A way that shows us that despite calling him "Baka Shinji" time and time again, that did not mean that she truly hated him.

Shinji verbalises his happiness to see her again and says thanks to her for letting him know her feelings previously.

Shinji reciprocates the same feelings, using the past tense. Why? Well, at least this time is more straightforward than explaining why he choked her.  Shinji has several reasons for this: First, it directly answers what Asuka told him earlier. And second, he wants to save and return her to the Eva free world, and thus, knowing that he might not return, hides his current feelings.

Asuka is surprised that her feelings are reciprocated. She blushes and turns to her left, hiding her real feelings at that moment to Shinji. In the next shot, we see a happy, blushed Asuka smiling.

The reaction of Asuka and all the previous evidence from the movie and the manga make it evident that she still has feelings for him. With his body language, Shinji is also transmitting to us that he is hiding his true feelings. Besides, a past tense confession for Shinji makes no sense at all. Shinji has been sleeping those 14 years. For him, those moments where "he liked" Asuka are only a few weeks or months ago from this moment on the beach.  We will get the last evidence that Shinji still has feelings for Asuka, thanks to Kaworu. He, who is aware of all the timelines and universes, asks Shinji if he will feel lonely letting Asuka go. Shinji, with the same body language and a sad face, says no. We must link Shinji's behaviour to the fact I explained earlier. Shinji wanted to sacrifice himself for the happiness of Asuka and everybody.

This links with another idea. The scene is fast-paced. Once Shinji confesses his feelings, he says goodbye to Asuka and the Kensuke sentence. While this might be a reminiscence of Asuka's behaviour in the Wunder, allowing him to avoid any reply, that would have made things more difficult. However, his words are carefully chosen. We know from Rei's experiences in the village that "goodbye, is a spell of magic to see each other again. Despite his plans, Shinji's wish is to see her again

The meaning of goodbye

Then we have the Kensuke sentence. I wanted to talk about this in a simple way. Asuka needed the same parental role as Shinji, and through her experiences in instrumentality, she finds that she has that part of herself fulfilled by Kensuke. However, things get complicated if we start to notice some details. The fact that Kensuke calls Asuka "Asuka" instead of Shikinami and that the doll with Kensuke inside of it appears in the Rei scene has raised concerns that the Kensuke who appears in Asuka's instrumentality scenes is in fact Shinji, helping Asuka to find her place in a future world without him. In more detail:

All Asuka's scenes in instrumentality revolve around Shinji, nothing from Kensuke. It seems that Shinji wants to revert that and makes her conscious that she can find a place to belong and the parental role she needs, especially taking into consideration that he was about to die.

Instrumentality scenes comparison

She verbalises that she has no place to belong yet (despite living with Kensuke for some time), so Shinji wants to clarify that point for her.

It answers why Kensuke calls her Asuka and not Shikinami and why the doll appears again in Rei's scenes on the stage. Furthermore, it connects Asuka's memories with the beach scene, as it is after Kensuke says, "Asuka is Asuka" that she wakes up next to Shinji.

The original source of the theory for me was this video

In the end, from Asuka's instrumentality to the end of the beach scene, Shinji wants her to understand that she has a place to belong alongside the parental figure that she needs and that she is also loved by him, although he is going to let her go for her benefit. A true act of selflessness given his feelings. That is heart-warming and an actual act of love on his part.

Then, something happens amid the fast-paced scenes. The camera shows Asuka with an open mouth, sleeping(?) and Mari next to her. Wait. When did Mari come in? Why? I am not sure of the answers to these questions. It shows that Mari is more than we thought and has more knowledge about the anti-universe and what is happening. We do not know if this scene happens just after Shinji’s words or something has happened in the middle, as Asuka's expression seems not to match the last we see from her. Is there a deleted scene in the middle? Mari says her goodbye to Asuka. Mari has been a bridge between Shinji and Asuka and a close friend to her. In some sense, and continuing the parallelisms between Shinji and Asuka, she has been her Kaworu

Interestingly, Mari only appears to say bye to Asuka and not Rei or Kaworu. At the same time, Shinji only says sayonara to Asuka, the only character that does not have a handshake and a shutter closed. While there is no definitive answer to this fact, I believe it is crucial regarding the ending, as it will establish a continuity between the goodbyes and future gatherings, all directed by Mari, and that is why she appears probably (and she might be the one ejecting Asuka’s entry plug)

After Mari's take care, Asuka wakes up in the entry plug and is ejected by Unit 13. It is important to note that Asuka leaves without any kind of voluntary movement. She awakes in different locations and is the Eva 13 who ejects her. We do not know Asuka’s opinion about this at any time, or how she feels about being saved leaving Shinji behind.

Chapter 4: The sacrifice is stopped

After Kaworu and Rei's scenes, which I am not going to talk about, Shinji decides to carry out the Neon Genesis. We get to the moment where he is ready to sacrifice himself, in some sort of redemption of humanity's sins for creating the Evas and all the suffering that accompanied them. But then, Yui appears.

She stops the spear, protecting Shinji, and takes him out of the Eva 01. Yui’s wish is that he can live in that Neon Genesis world where the Evangelions do not exist, where people, and Shinji, can be happy. This moment changes everything. The plot twist will allow Shinji and Evangelion to have a happy and hopeful ending, thanks to Yui's (+/- Mari) plan.

The sacrifice of Shinji's parents for the sake of their child redeems them from the emotional deprivation Shinji has endured all his life. Shinji, mimicking the last instrumentality scene in EoE, returns to the anti-universe, now alone.

Chapter 5: Mari to the rescue

Shinji waits patiently on a blue water beach. Slowly, he starts to fade away in the anti-universe, as there are no others to relate with. This concept was explored both in EoE and at the end of the TV series. Then, Mari comes with her Evangelion to rescue him and take him back to the real world, now the Eva-free world, as promised to Misato. This is very important, as it highlights that Shinji is not going to a parallel universe. He is returning to the same world where his friends are (Asuka for sure, Kaworu will meet him again too, and Rei, honestly, it is not so obvious where she decides to go in her scenes, but probably too)

Mari's last Evangelion is important too. Contrary to Kaworu and Rei, I believe it is how Mari and Shinji returned to the ordinary world (probably with its entry plug, like Asuka). We might never know that. Then, the next scene is the opposite scene from Asuka in the entry plug, but with Shinji. Now we see an adult Shinji in a train station.

There are different questions to answer to understand what is happening in the ending. However, I think that the film's conclusion is the same regardless of the answer to those questions.The questions are:

Is the train scene set in the AU or in the real world?

Are Mari and Shinji the people we see coming out from the station?

Did Asuka arrive at Kensuke’s house or is she present there if that is the real world?

I tried to sum up the different theories in simple pictures.

 My personal opinion just after watching the movie was that the first scenario was the most likely. However, after seeing different analyses, I am not 100% convinced and I cannot give my support to other theoriesyet. 

The sources for the other theories are these

And the fact that the pilots might be illusions come from here 

As you can see, regardless of the answer to the questions from above, they always end up meeting again. While this is not explicitly shown in the movie, I strongly believe it is the reason why Mari appears at the end scene. Mari is the beacon light that will guide him in this new world, and there is a lot of visual comparisons that prove this fact, comparing Mari to Misato, and knowing the role of Mari in Gendo and Yui’s life. Furthermore, a lot of people consider that the fact that Asuka is alone in the platform is a sign that she is there to be reunited with Shinji, as she has no partner and seems to be playing with something like her old videogame. All of this is enough evidence to stop thinking about this ending as “Shinji choosing Mari to live a happier life” or “to let go the past”.

Comparison

The role of Mari in Yui/Gendo life. A hint in her possible role with Asuka/Shinji

Mari and Shinji, Mari and Gendo, the same fate.

I am sure that Mari will reunite Asuka and Shinji. She has been a bridge between them since 3.0, and the Eva Extra manga gives more insight into that respect. Besides, she did the same with Yui and Gendo, and there are a lot of comparisons between Yui/Gendo and Asuka/Shinji in a visual way throughout the series.You will find Asuka glancing at Shinji with the same face and eyes expression as Yui did. 

We have talked about this before. 

While it would be interesting to know exactly how Shinji arrives there, the narrative conclusion that they will meet again, independently of what has happened to the world, will not change. This resonates with the title of the movie "thrice upon a time", as evidenced here. 

There have been multiple Evangelion universes, both with and without Evas (EoE ends with a world without Evas, as the manga does) and in all of them, all of them, Asuka and Shinji meet again. And this is really important, as now they can communicate and have the chance of growing together and be happy.

Conclusion

Asuka and Shinji are two sides of the same coin, with different defence strategies in the context of the hedgehog's dilemma. Despite their mutual attraction, they are incapable of communicating and reaching each other. In EoE, it took almost the end of the world and humanity to understand that it is thanks to not living with the fear of pain and rejection that we can understand and accept others, ultimately overcoming the hedgehog's dilemma. This is expressed by the caress of Asuka to Shinji in EoE. This loving gesture shows us that the characters start understanding each other and have the chance to be happy together. EoE ending is a message of love and hope.

A/S relationship will represent this conflict wherever they are portrayed, in a cycle of desire/attraction, which leads to conflict and a resolution with understanding and love once they learn to accept each other and start communicating. In EoE is quite visual and displays both of them together at the very end. The manga is less explicit and more hinted at, but the scene at the train depicts how they connect in that new world where they will understand each other.

Thrice upon a time is not an exception to this rule. The last scene of EoE and the manga that involves Asuka and Shinji is the moment they connect, communicate, and change the way they treat each other. In 3.0+1.0 their final scene together is the beach scene, where they confess their mutual feelings in what is a never seen before sincerity and openness between them. Then, a world without Eva is created (in EoE this is exemplified by the crucified Eva and in the manga is more similar to the movie) and we know that Mari will guide Shinji to a safe return to that Eva free world and a gathering with Asuka and his friends. Despite not appearing on screen, all the narrative of the movie, and the whole of Evangelion, makes us understand that they will understand each other more and more and will be more honest towards their feelings, giving them the chance of being happy. As a consequence of that, the leitmotif of Evangelion is repeated once more.

The message of 3.0+1.0 is not about letting go of the past because you have grown up or let it go to move forward. The message is that it is thanks to going through those good and bad experiences that life gifts us, accepting the chance of suffering pain, that we can mature and learn. This learning will make us understand ourselves and those who surround us more, making us love ourselves and others, having, ultimately, the chance of being happy, loved and finding a place to belong to.

And it is in the middle of this struggle, that the love story of Asuka and Shinji shines, reminding us that humans can connect and be happy. 

If they can overcome their problems, so will us.

Everybody finds love in the end.

One More Conclusion: Where is Anno's wife?

What a ride! I think I have written about almost all of Shinji and Asuka's interactions, perhaps leaving just a few ones at the beginning of the movie, and without the mention of Anno as Shinji or his wife as Mari in all the essay! While extremely popular, the theory that Mari represents his wife has many flaws and I still do not understand where it is based. From the character being designed without the supervision of Hideaki Anno to the direct denial from his wife, including that the theory does not match the narrative plot. While self-insertions and story developments related to personal experiences are not rare in storytelling, we cannot explain everything in Evangelion by metanalysis. While Anno's struggles with depression have shaped NGE+EoE, the development and growth of the characters in their own arcs are what matter when analysing them. Shinji might be inspired by his awful experience at that time, but as we said earlier, Asuke is shaped like Shinji, albeit with different behaviour. Therefore, we should accept that both of them are depictions of Anno and not only the masculine figure.

In the end, it is Shinji who rejects instrumentality, returns to the real world and is caressed by Asuka in EoE. The characters do that, not Anno. The same happens in this last scene. While the location of the train station and city is totally related to the director, what is going to happen to the characters in the context of the plot is an important thing to consider when analysing them.

From NGE+EoE to this last movie Shinji grows and understands the path to be happy always.  This is not exclusive of the RoE saga because Anno has overcome his problems. Therefore, conclusions such as "now Anno is happier, so he wants Shinji to be happy" are not supported. What changed in RoE is that the growth of Shinji happens prior to the last impact and instrumentality, instead of growing after those experiences. This allows the portrayal of a lighter version of Shinji in those dramatic moments, resembling more a traditional hero who saves his friends, instead of letting them down and then coming to an understanding all together (because everyone shares a slice of the guilt cake) in instrumentality.

I believe that it would be more fruitful if we took into consideration his wife's work in the way that this tweet states, rather than engage ourselves in discussions about meta self-insertions.

I hope my words have helped those who felt like me after the release of the movie.

Thank you very much for all your time reading this.

[octopus-reactivated]

Title Me Miss

Tw/cw: Pet whump, hunger, low-self estem

__________

Miss Decima’s friend opened the door to backseat. Miss let him go and suddenly it felt so cold without her holding him. Pet understood he’s expected to sit there - not in the trunk - so he walked in and curled on the floor. To his surprise Mis didn’t sit on the backseat with him under her feet. He lifted his eyes - not enough to look at Miss or sir Justin, that would be bad -and saw they stood here, silent and scary. Were they disappointed in him? Disgusted by how awful he looked?

“I meant… on the seat” said Miss.

So he did disappoint her again! And in front of her friend on top of that! He didn’t know car seats were not furniture, but it didn’t excuse him. Miss will punish him so harshly to make sure her dumb pet will never humilitate her in front of her friend again. He quickly fixed himself

Sir Justin came and restrained him with a seatbelt. Pet stayed as still as possible to show he is good, he can be good, his Miss is not a bad owner who can’t control her Pet…

“Don’t worry. You’re not in any trouble” said sir Justin

He wasn’t in trouble? But he was a bad Pet! Maybe Sir wasn’t bothered by that? Or maybe it just meant he is not in trouble with HIM? And Miss will decide it on her own? It was so confusing. Or maybe he meant “you're not a trouble”? Maybe he was reassured he is good so far. Or maybe it was a subtle way of telling “you better not be a trouble”?

Sir Justin patted him on the head and sat on the driver seat and Miss Decima in the front row, next to him. So it looks like they considered restraints as enough to stop him. Not like he would even try to run away, never ever.

Sir Justin started the car, but then the engine cut out. He let out an annoyed sigh. Pet trembled. When humans are angry or annoyed, Pet's duty was to give them stress relief, but he couldn't. He already was up to punishment for disappointing Miss!

No.

Bad Pet.

It’s not up to him to decide if he deserves punishment or not. If Miss decides he needs correction he will take it without a fight. He might be scared but he won’t be disrespectful.

The car finally started off. The city landscape moved behind the window. Pet took a few glances but he wasn't sure if he was allowed and he didn’t want to risk it, so the rest of the journey he spent staring at the floor. He tried not to think about hunger, but it was so hard to focus on anything else. He had a meal before getting transported to the shop. It was… four days ago? Now let’s assume Miss will tell him the rules right after coming home. Average Pet would learn them in span of one day, but he is stupid so it will take two… or thee days. After learning rules he will have to show he can be good… and it was hard to speculate what his new owner will consider satisfying. Let’s say it will take another four days for him to get anything right. So it will be around a week until he will earn any food. He held back a whimper. Things would be so much easier for him if he wasn’t so hopeless.

Then the car stopped, he heard a short “we’re here” and the door opened. He waited until Owner removed the restrins and told him he could leave.

They were in front of a big, nice house. Maybe he was supposed to be a guard dog? He didn’t see any shack where he could sleep. Was he supposed to sleep without any protection? In the shop he at least was warm…

No, he wasn’t in a shop anymore and he was so lucky to be wanted that he could sleep outside. Maybe if Miss will see his commitment he will be allowed inside on the coldest days?

__________

Decima considered sitting in the backseat, but maybe the boy needed some time alone? She probably was intimidating to him. Justin started the car, or tried to start, because the engine made a weird noise and shut down. Justin sighed. “It’s a new car”

“Oh? I’m sorry if…”

“Nah, don’t worry about it. I just have to get used to the new car.”

“Okay if you say so… Do you like potato salad? I have some at home”

“I do, but I'm afraid I can't stay.”

“You can’t?”

“Sorry. Mom needs help.”

“Oh. Well then, have a good time. Tell your mom i said hi”

“Sure. I will come tomorrow or overmorrow with some old clothes I don't use. It will be better than whatever he is in now”

“Thank you but i’m not sure… if he will enjoy wearing suits all the time”

“I have more casual clothing you know?”

“And you classify them as ‘old clothes i don’t use’?”

“You want them or not?”

“I want them, I want them! l inform you how parenting is going”

“Absolutely. Talking about parenting, you have to name him”

“I do, but head empty”

“Let’s think about it. You remember how in ancient Rome they often named kid by the name of their father?”

“Of course i remember, i was there” she said sarcastically

“My point is we can use it. Your second name is Julia right? So the son’s name would be Julius”

“Works for me. How would a shortened name sound?”

“I don’t know if it would have any”

“What about ‘Juli’?”

“It’s cute. But don’t ask me, ask him”

“you’re right”

The car took last turn and they stopped in front of Decima’s house

“One last thing” Justin said

“Hmm?”

“You two sleep in separate rooms, is that clear?”

__________

He hopped out of the car, automatically going on all-fours, but he got corrected into walking upright. Miss conducted him into home.

“Did you listen to our talk in the car?”

“No, Miss” I was good

“So summarising we thought about a name for you. Do you like the sound of ‘Juli’?”

First day and he already got a name? This is more kindness than he could ever expect to. He pressed forehead to the floor.

“Yes, thank you Miss. I cannot express my gratuity for it” Pet- now Juli - tried not to think what he will have to do to repay such generosity. Not to mention that he will have to do it before he will start earning food. But having a name could also mean that Owner was kind and the kind owner would not let him die out of hunger, right? Right?

__________

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