#but i tried somethin new ig?
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Let the show begin~!
Date of drawing: 15th November 2023 (additional touchups: 12th of January 2024)
#weh don really like this one#but i tried somethin new ig?#digital art#oc art#original art#original character art#original character#demon oc#anime girl#cute#[Oc] Vannessa Harper#i should hav an oc tag or sth.......#whatever im thinkin of shutting this whoel blog down anyway
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Band Practice
Melissa Schemmenti/f!reader
Warnings: alcohol ig
Words:1900ish
A/N: Listen yall English is my second language and I have not written anything since fanfiction.net was popular. It's also not proofread because I got too shy to show it to my partner/proofreader. Sooooo yeah have fun with that.
Melissa while not keen on newer staff surprisingly didn't hate the recent hire for Abbott. Primarily hired on as the new librarian you had started to double as IT after fixing a couple of computers in the library. Melissa admired that you were willing to do two jobs for the price of one, or at least that's what she told herself she hadn't been actively seeking you out for any other reason than to fix technology and library-related things.
Melissa walked into the breakroom and took her usual seat by Barbara "Hey Barb have you seen our tech guru, I need her to take a look at my projector, blew a fuse or somethin'" Barbara just raises her eyebrows and gives Melissa a knowing look, "Seems like you've been looking for Ms.L/N more and more often as of late" she has no time to respond before you walk in and head straight for the coffee, grumbling about a lack of sleep.
"Woah there hon get into a fight this morning, ya look a bit crazy" Melissa jokes. You turn to look at her in your half-asleep state, gaze lingering for longer than usual, not something that slips past Melissa "Not quite I stayed up later than I usually do, you know night owl and all that" Melissa narrowed her eyes, you hoped she wouldn't push further, the last thing you want is for her to figure out you've been preparing for a gig with your new band. Not that it was bad but you just felt it was dorky and you would rather not have your crush or coworkers comment on it.
"Well some of us were gonna go out for drinks today I was hoping you'd come with" Melissa could feel a blush creeping up her neck, she'd tried inviting you out very casually a couple of times but besides the occasional lunch, you seemed to always be busy. You bit your lip flattered that the redheaded beauty was inviting you herself. But with a gig today you definitely couldn't cancel, you attempt to come up with a decent excuse but in between a lack of sleep and brain cells in the morning you don't come up with much "I'd love to Melissa really but I.... uhh have a thing, after school rain check?" You flash an apologetic smile and are out before she can say anything else.
This put Melissa in a sour mood for the rest of the day, it didn't help that when lunch came around you were nowhere to be found. Melissa frowned maybe you didn't actually like her, she felt like a fool. Maybe she was too old for you and she read too far into your exchanges taking them as flirty, all of a sudden all she could feel were her insecurities swallowing her up.
Barbara ever in tune with her work wife set her book down and cleared her throat. "Girl, what in the Lord's name has got you in such a foul mood?" Melissa huffs and shifts in her chair, "Nothing, absolutely nothing is wrong why would anything be wrong I am living the dream Barb" She knew better than to lie to her closest friend but she hated being this vulnerable. Barb wasn't blind she had been watching both of you closely noticing how you started to buy Melissa pastries from her favorite shop and how she in turn began to bring you some of her famous baked ziti. "Maybe you should ask her when she's free, it seems she's nearly always busy on weekends perhaps she's free other days?"
"I don't know what you're talking about"
Barbara shakes her head, "Look I'm just saying that maybe you should look into it, rather than assuming Y/N doesn't like you" Melissa's eyes go wide "Keep your voice down" She didn't want to embarrass herself over some crush or cause Y/N any issues. "Whatever the deal is doesn't matter I do not want to think about it, I just wanna make it through the rest of the day and get to that happy hour"
************
As if things couldn't get worse, Jacob picked the happy hour joint and it was not their usual spot. Something about broadening horizons and how live music would really benefit them. Melissa didn't like it nothing was wrong with their usual bar and she highly doubted whatever Jacob had dragged them into would be worth it but he offered to pay for drinks and that was good enough for her. Jacob skipped over to their table nearly missing the chair "Wow look at us I love it when the whole Abbott family goes out for drinks, I wish Y/N was here though she's been with us for a while and hasn't gone to any of the happy hours" at the mention of your name Melissa perked up and curiosity got the better of her. "What do you guys think she does, seems like she always leaves right as school ends on the weekends"
"My vote is on stripper" everyone turns to Ava, "what have you seen what she wears it's all baggy clothing we don't know what she has under that"
"I'm not super sure about that, what about a part-time emt that could be it, maybe she's got some scars she's covering up from saving lives" Janine ever the optimist would assume this with little to no context.
Ava pretty convinced she was right follows up "Or she could be one of those strippers that go to your house dressed as an EMT for a lil surprise"
The conversation goes back and forth for a while, meanwhile, Melissa nurses a beer still miffed over your rejection. Barbara notices her friend's discomfort and looks around the bar to see if there is a pool table to distract Melissa. Instead, her eyes land on the stage right as the band starts playing.
"Good god, what is she wearing?" Barbara's shock has everyone at the table looking in the same direction even Melissa looked over confused by the outburst. Come to find you're on the stage concentrated on your instrument, ready for your queue to begin. Gone was the usual oversized sweater and baggy pants instead u wore a long-sleeved crop top and the tightest jeans Melissa had ever seen. She felt silly but she couldn't stop staring at your hands. Your sleeves were rolled up to the elbow revealing defined forearms and deft fingers running across a bass. Even from a distance, she could see you were very good at what you were doing resulting in not-so-tame mental images of your hands undressing her, holding her down, wrapped around her thighs - Jesus she was like a teenager again getting hot and bothered by just the thought of you. Ava must have caught her gawking and leaned over "If you don't get a move on and take her out, I will cuz damn who knew our librarian was this hot"
Melissa glares at Ava has everyone figured her out, she turns back to see your performance not wanting to miss any more of it. She'd never seen you like this so casual, relaxed, and all-around sexy. She wonders if this is why you always left so soon being part of a band would make sense but why wouldn't you say anything, she hopes this is the case failing to push her former insecurities back down. Your band wasn't a fancy ordeal you went up on stage and played some of your songs but mostly did covers. Still, Melissa couldn't take her eyes off you and it only got worse when you started to sing yourself, she was pretty sure you couldn't see her or any of the Abbott staff but the way you were facing and the suggestive lyrics had her feeling like maybe just maybe you could be directing them at her.
As soon as the performance came to a close Janine and Jacob cheered and drew the attention of everyone in the bar including Y/N and the band.
*********
Welp so much for not getting found out. Jay leans over and taps you with a drumstick "Yo Y/N do they know you?" You look back over at your coworkers hoping not to see your favorite redhead, indeed luck was not on your side as you caught her eye. "Uhh yeah those are my coworkers, I'll catch up with yall later"
Melissa looked mad, not sure what else to do, and feeling like you may as well accompany the embarrassment with a drink you headed to the bar and waved her over. "Double shot of tequila and a Corona please" The bartender nods and pours the shot following it up with a swift opening of your beer.
"Suprised you drink considering you've always said no to it" You look over at Mel, she's extremely close due to the crowded bar top and you can feel her press up against you causing your head to spin. You pick up your shot and down it finding comfort in the heat you feel in your chest.
"Yeah I haven't had the time to go out since I've been filling in for the band, I'm sorry" At the mention of that Melissa visibly relaxes, gone was the anger from before, maybe there was still a chance this could go well? "You know you could've just said you had to go practice for your band" she almost sounded shy, "I would've understood if you were busy" You look over at the redhead suprised to see her so vulnerable.
Reaching over you tuck a stray hair behind her ear, "It's silly didn't want you to know because it made me feel like a dork, I've been trying so hard to impress you it felt like a step backward to tell you I have band practice" Melissa feels a blush creep up and sneaks a glance at you. At that almost confession, the proximity between you two, and the sexiest outfit she's ever seen she once again felt like some goddam horny teenager. Capitalizing on the brief liquid courage of the shot you figured why the hell not make a move. In a burst of confidence, you lean into Melissa and pull her by the collar of her leather jacket, still distracted by the tight jeans she barely realizes what you're attempting to do. The kiss is tame, impossibly soft, gentle, and over way too soon for Melissa's liking.
"I.....oh my god I'm so sorry I should have asked" Melissa was stunned and taking her silence as a negative you start to freak out "I've just been wanting to do that for a while and I've wanted to ask you out but you make me so goddam nervous an-" it's then Melissa who can't help herself she pulls you back in by the waist for another kiss, this one was rougher, hungrier she felt a roller coaster of emotions today and this felt like the only outlet. She pulls back to look at you with that trademark Schemmenti smirk "Feelings mutual hon"
You feel your heart swell at her confession,
"Well to make up for all the missed outings how do you feel about going out for dinner tomorrow?"
Melissa leans in very close for her answer "Hon with those pants I'll follow you anywhere"
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What is your stronger side? I am very curius about psychk. I love this rabbit hole!
me rn bc you've induced some major brain vomit from me about this particular subject and I'm about infodump like a mf ^^^
aHHHH ME TOO!!! I'm hyperfixatin' on it 🕵️ I believe my stronger side is my right side, which presumably controls the left hemisphere of my brain aka the more logical side, which is BABIES because I'm a very creative, think outside of the triangle kinda person so I'd think I'm more of a right brainer. but it also kinda makes sense that I'm a lil' stronger in my right side since it's my dominant side and I do like to overanalyze & overthink things in a logical way (I need to change that belief as a matter of fact) 🤔 hoWevEr I have heard that it's important to use both sides of yer body to keep yer brain strong and lessens the chances of gettin' Alzheimer's and dementia (which I'm manifestin' a cure for both bc hell nah that shit is wack)
heads up, im about to ramble.
when I was readin' up on psych-k and the whole brain state, I stumbled across this new idea that's like 'brain gym' and I didn't think much of it until YESTERDAY when I was like... hm, are there other ways to make both sides of the brain work simultaneously while I'm awake??? cause psych-k is workin' for me and all but I'm sure there are other ways to communicate with both sides of my brain simultaneously to make affirmations stick in a much more efficient manner. when ya have both sides of yer brain workin' in harmony while affirmin' ya get like this deeper level of saturatin' yer mind aNd I wanted more of that bc it gives my brain the t i n g l e s. should also be mentioned that workin' yer entire brain is also a form of what can be referred to as 'super learnin' isn't that fuckin' gnarly??? i think it is. lIke could ya imagine that with this information now ya could literally just sit down and study somethin' with the utmost efficiency and whole brain thinkin' just by crossin' your damn ankles???????? wish I knew this shit when I was still in school--- wait nvm I'm still doin' classes.
there's this weird lil' exercise which is BASICALLY psych-k but ya stand up and do actual movements (super weird but also kinda fun for my monkey brain) iTs cALlEd the cross-crawl and there's a whole bunch of benefits for it (imma copy paste them below) this is all from this website I tried it for a few seconds yesterday and it was weird and cringey so I stopped but imma try it out again today for science 🧍
• Build your core strength
• Release stress and tension
• Enhance whole-brain thinking (get your left and right hemispheres to work together)
• Calm your mind
• Energize your body
it's pretty much a lil' funny dance where ya march side to side— its an actual exercise so y'know
ANYWAYS, it should be known that I am an avid method hopper because all methods work for me and I can do anything I want and it still works, sO I was thinkin' of a crazy ass combination of methods that involves psych-k, cross-crawling, and reverse psychology from @/charmedreincarnation which they described in detail in this post
this sounds insane and all over the place, I know, but I can't help it its because of how my brain chemistry works 😭 im like a mad scientist with manifestation methods at this point
BUT BUT BUT BEFORE I FORGET!!! THERES ANOTHER EXERCISE THAT STIMULATES BOTH SIDES OF THE BRAIN AND INVOLVES ONLY YER HANDS. This bad boy right here
also... why did I find another brain synchronization exercise video... I need to slow my road. but here it is anyways
I had no idea Tai Chi was a form of brain synchronization exercise holy shit???? but ig that makes sense since it is a state of meditation
i could have infodumped WAY more but I forgot most of the other things I wanted to say... 🤡 TY FOR ASKIN' THIS QUESTION!!! ask me more questions if ya want me to info dump again, I'll try to keep my thoughts organized
#�� chai's asks. !! ~#— anonnie. !! ~#ty for askin' anon bc now i have to write all of this down like a maniac#— chai rambles. !!~#my autism is showing#brb about to go wax on and wax off while affirming 😭#AYO JACKIE CHAN WAS ONTO SOMETHIN' IN KARATE KID???#should i make a post about brain exercises
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hi again!! its 1st time cannibal the musical watcher again- i might start signing my asks or somethin cus i keep wanting to talk but like you're always sharing such obscure random stuff.. DO YOU HAVE A FAVORITE THING YOU'VE DISCOVERED OR FOUND?? specific quote of an interview or a particular photo you've found ???
hiii anon lovely to see you back! feel free to tag yourself if you prefer that way, but either way you're much appreciated 🥰
I have so much stuff I found (I'd say it more like... was lucky to run into while researching 😵💫) that I love, but to name a few...
"My lovely wife Matt Stone" aka Trey's BOM speech from Feb 25 2013 at the first west end preview. How I found this: So, sometimes when I'm bored I'll pick a random mattrey blog that's been active for a long time, open an old post from their archive, see if there's old inactive mattrey blogs in the notes, and look through their archive to see if there's any posts I could make resurface that had stopped circulating, right? The funny thing is I'll go on reblog sprees, so I actually hadn't listened to the audio when I reblogged it. I was only informed of what it said when I saw others freak out about it.
Daily Show with Craig Kilborn. Why it's my fav? Well, aside from being adorable and iconic, it landed my youtube channel in the lost media wiki! How I found it is actually quite easy, when you look up fansites on the web archive you can do specific search for the files the web archive has saved from it. Turns out sometimes quicktime files work! Four parts were in canniballovers and one in dtisfu if I remember correctly, I just edited them together and posted it. Still wish someone could find it in better quality though. 😔
I'm gonna list a bunch of pictures now... because there's many. 😭 But my absolute N1 is probably the Halloween Robert Smith Trey picture. How I found it is simple, just looking up random words on facebook. Probably "trey parker", nothing special. This and this from the Ron Jeremy website on the web archive, though I think maybe the second one had already been circulating I'm not exactly sure. Showgirl Halloween Trey. The kiss pictures. Pink haired Trey!! This NATPE (?) picture. These older Trey pics where he's serving absolute cunt. This Lapdance/Sundance (?) pic. And these too. This reverse cap one altho this was from twitter I don't think I was the first to come across it tbh. These three from the "A Million Laughs" fb page... Bowl hat... Trey with the blue umbrella full pic... tho I wouldn't say I "found it" only that I got to it first the day it was posted... Trey in the matching christmas pajama from 2018... I'm gonna stop but my heart is pretty big and I like all pics...
These measly 7 secs of SDCC footage only because of the first mattrey pic included because that pose from Trey is everythinggg.
This oscars clip because Trey does such a graceful hair flip 😭
Le Petit Package pics though all I did was waltz into the lost media thread and see they had been posted...
The forbidden mattrey slides which we may never see... these were all from worthpoint, which is just a website that archives past ebay bids.
Annual Diversity Awards for the Trey serve ofc.
And finally, I'm very partial to "Matt's a cock".
As to how I come across anything... it's lots of free time. Like I'm talking hours daily just picking a random lead and following it. It may be a website you think hasn't been thoroughly searched (I've tried fb, ig, twitter, worthpoint, ebay, wordpress, tripod, weebly, various fansites on webarchive, footage.net, bilibili/baidu, vimeo, dailymotion, flickr, a load of sketchy other websites I don't remember anymore... basically trey parker has brought me to places I wouldn't go with a gun...) a combination of words, a new search engine that may give u different results (I've tried the ones listed in the lost media wiki guide, my favorite is startpage). Using targeted searching like "word" or site:x "word" or "word combo" before:year, basically trying to make google your bitch. I also use gettyimages like a visual wiki of events Trey's been to+the date, it's quite useful... ik you didn't ask the "how" part but aaaa I like talking about it 😭 I have a lot of fun. Even though sometimes I just come up empty handed even after hours of research. More often than not tbh. Also I'm an obsessed weirdo who checks the words "trey parker" daily on twitter, tumblr, ig, fb, yt, web archive and ebay. 🫠
And also the concept of finding is weird because it has happened to me that I thought I had found something and then it actually had been circulating already, so I tried really hard to answer you by only listing stuff I was fairly sure hadn't been circulating before I got to it, but I mean... it doesn't really matter! I'm here to serve, I just like sharing whatever stuff I run into, it'll happen that it's new to me but it really isn't. 😵💫 I try...
I like this too also but I didn't find it, it was pretty available already fjdkg you know Jack Shih was at that dodgeball event?
Favorite funfact that I haven't had a chance to share yet, so now you know!
#trey parker#matt stone#web archive#ask#hope this reply doesnt come across like i like the smell of my own farts LMAO im not claiming any of these are mine!!!!! like#i dont want credit and shit. go forth my children#these r my favs tho!!!!!! im obsessed with them
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Title: lemonade. Genre: Family, Friendship, Hurt-Comfort, Slice-Of-Life. Fandom: TWDG. Characters: Clementine Maria Jasmine Cree, Isis Onyx ( OC ), AJ ( cameo ). For: Aja / @creolejesus !! Summary: For the first time in a very long time, she felt soft. Feminine. Fierce. Beautiful. Magical. All her life, it seemed like she had to fight, but now, she can simply… unwind for what appeared to be the first time in forever. This was what peace looks like, she thinks, and she prays to any god that would listen that this won't be taken away from her like all the others before. Rating: 16+. Warning(s): Clementine discusses her experiences with antiblackness & texturism as a child in non-explicit detail. Overall, this is a very uplifting ficlet. A/N: this was a concept ficlet i'd& written a while back for my& dear friend aja where back when i& was in the rpc, clementine & isis were basically like a mother-daughter duo where isis would teach her hoodoo & black history & black feminism in the deep south in a ranch area with horses nearby a bayou !! keep in mind that all this was approved by aja who is a afro-indigenous ( specifically black cherokee ) writer who i& always know would make sure i& write accurately should she ever see something that needs fixing. i& write clementine ( & as she is also an introject in our& system ) as a afro-indigenous chinese two spirit nonbinary girl; isis belongs to aja & she is a black creole rootworker & witch from new orleans louisiana with a mysterious past. i& intentionally left this vague whether or not this was in the canon universe of the apocalypse or this is somethin' else but this was actually inspired by the visuals of beyonce's lemonade album, poc cottagecore ( or ig more specifically black & native cottagecore ) & like. i& always hced clem as like always having to codeswitch especially around nonblack and nonnative folx so that mostly white survivors wouldn't view her as a threat ( bc. antiblackness smh ) & so when she's around isis, she feels like she can let those walls down & be authentically herself; i& do my& best to respect the language & aja said i& did a wonderful job at writing it so correctly & with respect as yt folx are really out here doing the absolute most & acting like it's a meme language when it's a language w/ its own dialect, rules, history & culture. i always got like. warm colors & black cottagecore / black witchcore vibes w/ isis & i wanted to reflect that in the visuals bc clementine eventually does do natural protective hairstyles in the future when she grows out her hair so i& think it would've been cool if isis was the one who taught her how to do her braids & stuff like that !! this is all mostly headcanon & exomemory based on clem's part. i& only ask that out of respect considering that this is a gift for a friend that only aja reblogs it but anyone can like it. if you enjoyed this content & you want to leave a tip, you can do that here, while far more importantly, if you want to support black folx, especially queer black folx on juneteenth, you can do that here !! happy juneteenth, black folx who read this, you're so loved!<3333
"Well, ain'tcha' as sweet as a peach, sweetpea!" Isis shrills as her hands complete her latest masterpiece and holds a handheld mirror up for Clementine to see.
The sunlight filtered through the window as Clem's amber eyes gazed back at her reflection, mouth parting with no words coming out, a smile blossoming upon her lips. Her dark brown hair had been tied up in two beautiful afro puffs. "Thank you, ma'am, it's beautiful." Clem murmurs, feeling safe enough to let down her walls that she usually kept around nonblack and nonnative people, so many who had tried to look at her funny even as a child for even speaking in her peoples' dialect. A deep inhale as her eyes flicker over to baby AJ who was suckling on warm milk and honey in a bottle.
"When I was a girl, kids used t' laugh a' me when I went on the schoolbus, call my hair "nappy", look at me funny like I was a clown or Booboo the fool or somethin'," her voice wavers for a moment, trying to hold back the river of tears that was threatening to break the dam before her breath hitches, "an' then I used ta' come home from school cryin' sayin' I was ugly. My daddy never forgot that an' raised hell for all the city t'know, including that school. He used t' tell me every mornin' that I was beautiful and capable of doin' anythin' I set my mind to. I tried... God above, I tried to believe that message but I guess after a while I forgot 'bout it. Hell, I don't even even think I believed him."
Isis listened to every word she said quietly before her lips press gently over Clem's forehead. "You know, your daddy was right, baby. Look at your reflection fo' me."
Clem did as the older woman asked her and as they looked into the mirror together, her voice gently whispered into her ear. "That face is your ancestors staring back at'chu'. They love you, babygirl. Your eyes are as golden as the sun and your heart is even brighter, sweetpea. They're proud that you're here still livin' and breathin' here with me and baby AJ. How many kids your age know how ta' fight like a soldier? How many grown ass adults have the power you got? You keep holdin' your head high and don't let nobody play wi'tchu' 'cause you are that girl and you can be whoever you wanna be. Don't let nobody forget that, don't let nobody play wi'tchu, babygirl, you are not the one to be played with. Black is beautiful and so are you, baby. You hear me?"
The younger girl can't help but smile in the mirror, feeling the warmth of a thousand suns fill her heart, before she turns to the older woman who may as well have been a mother figure to her. She hadn't felt this way in so long that she wanted to cry. "I wanna make you AJ's godmother, miss Isis."
A golden smile graced the woman's features, a soft laugh as sweet as honeycomb filling the room in all its glory as the sun filtered through the window and illuminated her ginger curly locks, "I can be that for baby AJ, babygirl. Now," her doe brown eyes glinted in the sunlight, "you got the herbs I gotchu' to get fo' me? Lemme see. I'm gonna teach you a bit more on herbs and then we gon' ride on horseback together. How that sound, sweetpea?"
Clem nods, a grin revealing pearly whites, "Yes, ma'am," before she stands up and gets her wicker basket and unveils the basket to reveal rue, palo santo and ginger root, her white dress trailing across the floor of the cabin. For the first time in a very long time, she felt soft. Feminine. Fierce. Beautiful. Magical. All her life, it seemed like she had to fight, but now, she can simply... unwind for what appeared to be the first time in forever. This was what peace looks like, she thinks, and she prays to any god that would listen that this won't be taken away from her like all the others before.
#arcana.writes#idk im& really proud of this one qwq#whenever c.lem interacts w/ other b.lack & n.ative & a.sian characters its. So Good especially if they're b.lack women & b.lack enben ilism#& ik aja really loved it & im& so glad it made her happy so im& giving her the chance to reblog it so now the rest of yall can see it !! :>#fictives.#clementine maria jasmine cree.
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Feedback // Ashton Irwin
I've been sitting on this fic for a minute so thank you to everyone who's patiently waited for me to post it (shoutout to Sly)! This story was really just me getting inspired and clowning after Ashton's "Down To Earth" IG stream back in April. As always, thanks to @cal-puddies for the invaluable guidance as I tried to pare my writing style down into a pwp format (try being the operative word, 3500 words is still the best we could do lmao).
Warnings: Distracted Boyfriend!Ash, oral sex on a male, moderately rough unprotected sex (on the red leather couch) including mild dirty talk, brief choking and a spank or two.
Word Count: 3535
Masterlist // Ko-Fi and New 2021 Taglist linked above
Let me know what you think!
"Baby! I didn't know you were home!"
You turn around to see Ashton in the doorway of the bedroom, voice as cheerful as the yellow beanie covering his head.
"Didn't hear you come in," he comments, walking over to you.
You slide your arms around your boyfriend’s neck with a sigh. "Rushed up here, phone was about two seconds from shutting off," you explain, greeting him with a tender kiss.
He watches as you kick off your shoes and yank your bra off under your shirt, tossing everything haphazardly in the direction of the closet before flinging yourself on the bed. "Tough day?"
You groan, dragging your hands over your face before extending your arms, encouraging him to join you. “Eh, not great and very long,” you report, giving a satisfied sigh when Ash climbs on the bed and immediately pulls you on top of him, wrapping his arms around you tightly. You do the same and the both of you lay quietly in this prone embrace for several peaceful moments before you break the silence. “How about you, how was your day?”
You feel him shrug under your body. “Can’t complain,” is his simple reply.
“Make anything cool?” You prompt, knowing he’s being low-key because he thinks you need to chill out, not realizing nothing relaxes you more than listening to him talk about his passions.
“Hmm… anything cool...” Ash giggles, hugging you closer. “I dunno, got a good start goin’ on this one track that could be pretty cool, got a nice vibe.”
You raise your head up to look at him and scratch your fingers across his beard, you’re so glad he decided to let it grow again. “Yeah? Tell me more.”
He hums as you continue to rub his face. “Only been at it for a couple hours, ‘s just a track for now, we’ll see what I can do with it,” he breezes, moving your hand from his face to his mouth so he can kiss it.
“Well, whenever you feel like you need a fresh pair of ears, I’d love to hear it,” you enthuse, moving to lay at his side.
He turns to give you a bright grin. “Yeah? A little in-house focus group?” He teases, leaning in for a sweet kiss that starts to get needy the longer it goes on.
You pull off his hat, running your fingers through his long hair as he moves to kiss along your neck. “Don’t know if you know this but I’m a big fan of your work,” you tease back.
He kisses your lips again, biting a bit as he pulls away to quip, “We talking ‘bout my music or something else?”
You giggle, deciding that indulging this frisky mood is exactly how you would like to unwind tonight. You inch closer, pulling him back into a kiss and he responds eagerly, hand coming up to massage at the base of your neck like it always does. For the next few minutes, the only thoughts in your mind revolve around Ashton, how he feels, how he tastes and where you need his mouth or hands on you next.
When you let out a moan at the way his fingers are gripping your skin under your shirt and he doesn’t press himself against you in response, you can tell he’s gotten distracted. You laugh knowingly against his lips, “You’re back to thinking about that song now, aren’t you?”
He looks at you with a sheepish smile. “I was actually still workin’ and came up here just to grab a hoodie when I found you.”
You playfully push him off of you, shaking your head. “Dude, you should’ve told me! You know I’m not one to fuck with The Process,” you admonish, scrunching your nose up at the trail of kisses he pecks over your face as he sits up.
“Nah, my brain needed a break and my girl needed me, it worked out perfectly,” he insists, rubbing your arm affectionately before getting off the bed.
He quickly fishes his desired sweatshirt out of the closet and pulls it on over his t-shirt, mussing his hair even more than you already had. He walks back over, ready to kiss you goodbye when you sit up on your knees to stop him. “I was serious about giving it a listen if ya want,” you say, smoothing his hair down before resting your hands on top of his inside his hoodie pocket. “If you’re not ready that’s fine but just FYI I‘m interested.”
Ash grins at you, squeezing your hands before using them to pull you to your feet. “Aww, you know you’re my fave audience, baby,” he gushes, reaching to grab his hat off the bed. “Let’s go give it a spin.”
“Well. As much as you can ‘spin’ a computer file,” you mutter, trying to annoy him just because it’s fun.
As you head for the door, you hear him snort behind you a split second before he grabs you, sliding his beanie on your head far enough to cover your eyes; you burst into giggles as he playfully bumps into you, passing you in the hallway. “Smart ass,” he grumbles, voice still smiling.
Ash makes it down to the basement first and starts clicking on files and flicking switches, excited to play his work for you. You stop at the foot of the stairs and survey the room with wonder. Multiple guitars - electric, acoustic, bass, 12-string - are strewn across the room, cables run from his computer to the adjacent room where he houses his drums, food delivery containers line the coffee table; he’s clearly been down here since you left this morning.
While he sets up, you make yourself useful, setting the guitars back in their racks, stacking the food trash; when you’re done, you start to drag a chair over to the computer when you notice he’s staring at you like you’ve grown an extra head.
“What are ya mad at me or somethin’?” He scoffs, patting his legs and looking at you expectantly.
You smirk and take a seat in his lap, watching closely as his long fingers fly over the keyboard, hand adeptly working the mouse, making a few final adjustments to the track. You hear a quiet “there we go” under his breath and then he’s settling in, pulling you back against him and rubbing over your thighs as you wait for the song to begin.
It’s a simple demo so far - layered background vocals, drum and bass, some synth, a little guitar line here and there - but he’s right, it’s definitely a vibe. You’re pleased that his reflection is visible in the computer screen, you love seeing him grooving behind you, pursing his lips and nodding his head along to the beat as you feel his fingers tapping along on your waist while he holds you close.
The track is short and before he can even ask your opinion, you tell him to play it again; his face lights up at your request and he proudly complies. When it finishes this time, you shift to look at him and smile. “That’s wild you did that all yourself and in such a short amount of time,” you marvel. “See, I was right, you did do something cool.”
Ashton laughs, kissing the side of your head as he leans forward to reach the keyboard. “You think so? Well, what’s really cool is this…” He starts clicking around again, isolating the different elements and revealing which sounds are electronic and which are live instruments, which section he thinks he’ll write lyrics over tomorrow, where he’s thinking of pasting in more guitar.
You respond when appropriate but mostly you just listen intently, watching fondly as he animatedly details his thought process; this is why you offered to come down here with him, this is the best part about being his “fave audience.” You love his music but more than that, you love how much he loves his music.
He stops mid-explanation of a section to tinker with it, clearly having a brainstorm right in front of you. You curl into his chest, observing quietly as he cycles through effects and begins stacking tracks. He chews his lip, deep in thought as he lets the song play again and you can't help but press a few kisses to his jaw.
Ash continues his work and you continue yours, moving from his jaw to his neck; your kisses eventually become more heated, with you adding tongue and even teeth to the equation. You suck his earlobe into your mouth, wiggling his earring with the tip of your tongue and finally he pulls away, chuckling, "Baby, come on."
You shrug, playing with his hair. "I just love watching you work."
He laughs, "Then goddamn, baby, let me work!" He growls as you nip at his throat and you smile to yourself because you can tell he's already rethinking his request.
"Seems like you shoulda thought about this before you invited a girl down to your basement to listen to some dreamy space pop alien makeout jam," you tease, relishing the feeling of his laughter vibrating his throat under your tongue.
"Can I get you to leave that review when this goes up on iTunes?" He cracks, finally turning his attention to you.
"I might be persuaded," you flirt, humming with victory as he pulls you into a hungry kiss.
Ashton wastes no time returning the affection you showed him, lips devouring yours, hands quickly making their way under your shirt to lazily massage your tits. You’re mid-moan, his fingers just about to make it inside your waistband when suddenly he’s pulling away.
It takes you a beat to realize what’s happened, your body confused by the sudden absence of his touch. You open your eyes to see him busy at the computer again and it’s so absurd to you, you have to laugh.
“Two minutes,” he says half-apologetically, half-distracted, squeezing your thigh but not taking his eyes off the screen.
You smirk to yourself, immediately aware of what your next move is. “Take as long as you need, baby. When genius strikes, you gotta go for it,” you state ominously, not that he notices. Nor does he notice you sliding yourself off his lap and onto the floor between his legs.
You run your hands up and down his thick thighs before letting your touch wander to the front of his jeans, palming over his crotch, happy to find that at least part of him was interested in your makeout session. You can’t decide if you’re more amused or annoyed by his focus but it’s not until your hand is on his cock, freeing him from his pants that he tears himself away from his project.
“Excuse me, ma’am, can I help you with something?”
You lock eyes with him as you stick your tongue out and dramatically lick your hand, coating your palm with saliva before giving his cock a tight squeeze and beginning to stroke him steadily. “I also had a genius idea I was just following through on,” you shrug. “Might take a little longer than two minutes, though, I’m a bit out of practice… my boyfriend’s been pretty busy.”
Ash giggles wildly, both at your joke and your audacity. “You’re crazy, I’m literally about to be done with… fuck…” His retort is interrupted by you, eyes still trained on his, licking long stripes up the sides of his cock, sucking gently at the head before licking your way back down.
“Go ahead and finish your work, baby, I’ll just keep busy until you’re done,” you insist, mischief in your eyes as you look up one last time before taking him into your mouth.
You hear a sharp inhale, a softly chuckled “fuckin’ ridiculous” and then finally, mouse clicks as he attempts to get back to it. You do your best to distract him, bobbing up and down enthusiastically, sucking loudly, humming around him, making sure he knows how much you’re enjoying your task.
It only takes a minute or so for him to get sidetracked by your efforts. “This is a shitty home demo I’ve spent all of 90 minutes on, there’s no way it’s so good you just had to have my cock right here and now,” he insists, struggling to keep his voice steady, not wanting you to hear how affected he is.
You pop off, gingerly playing with his balls as you zing back, “I dunno babe, you guys had plenty of shitty songs on your first album and from what I’ve heard, you did more than alright in the pussy department.”
Ashton’s laughter quickly turns to a strained moan as you slide back down on him, letting him hit the back of your throat. “My bad, didn’t realize I’d shacked up with a groupie,” he jokes. You silently congratulate yourself as you notice him flexing his hand into a fist, knowing he’s trying to keep himself from pressing down on your head.
You pull off him again, making sure to let the spit cascade from your mouth as you smugly reply, “Like I said before: big fan.” Before he can even think about responding, your mouth is back on him.
You’re not surprised he attempts to resume working again; you’re both stubborn, it’s a wonder anything ever gets resolved in your relationship. You can tell he’s trying his best to stay on task but the whispered curses under his breath give him away. As a last resort, he turns the volume on his speaker up a few more notches, hoping the track will drown out the exaggerated choking sounds you’re intent on making.
A few moments later, he reaches down and yanks his beanie off your head. “Fuckin’ bright yellow bouncing over my crotch is hard to ignore,” he grumbles. “All I see is my hat, looks like I’m suckin’ my own dick for all I know.”
You can’t resist continuing to rib him. “How is that not your greatest fantasy? Your favorite person giving you your favorite pleasure?”
He snorts, shaking his head. “I’m sorry, did you want to blow me or roast me?”
You give him your brightest smile and reply, “Unlike you, I’m pretty good at multi-tasking.”
A brief cackle and a clipped “alright” are all you hear before you’re being hoisted up off the ground, thrown over Ash’s shoulder and carried over to the couch across the room. You squeal with surprise and delight as he unceremoniously dumps you on it, briskly strips you both of your clothes and promptly bends you over the red leather.
He nudges your knees further apart, pressing you against the back of the couch. “Of course you’re this fuckin’ wet already,” he teases, breath hot on your neck as he runs himself through your folds. “You think that’s from my cock down your throat or from you winding me up so much?”
Whatever clever comeback you’d thought up dies on the tip of your tongue because suddenly he’s sliding his cock inside you and now that’s all you can care about. You whine as he quickly establishes a vigorous pace, one hand bracing himself against the couch, the other reaching around you, down your torso to reach your clit. “How’s this for multi-tasking?”
A few breathless cries of his name are the best you can manage as he relentlessly plays with you, somehow in perfect rhythm with his rough thrusts, sending your whole body into sensory overload.
“Or how ‘bout this?” He growls, moving his hand from between your legs to your throat, fingers offering just the slightest amount of pressure, knowing it’ll drive you crazy wondering if and when he’ll add more. “Don’t got any more funny jokes for me, baby?”
You moan at his taunting, placing a hand on top of his on your neck, trying to get him to squeeze harder; he refuses and his denial makes you moan even louder. "Jesus, Ash," you pant, pushing back against him to egg him on. “Feels so fucking good.”
You're so caught up that you don't even notice his song is still playing over the speakers until a few moments later when Ashton suddenly pulls out of you, muttering to himself as he grabs the remote from the coffee table and shuts the music off.
Confused, you look back and see him amusedly shaking his head. "Yes, I was still producing that in my head, don’t start," he giggles.
You fall back on the couch, laughing in disbelief. “We’ve gotta get you some hobbies, buddy, that’s insane.”
He snickers, laying you on your back and settling on the couch behind you, pulling your leg over his hip. “I don’t think fucking you counts as a hobby,” he jokes, gripping his cock and slipping it back inside you.
“Not with that attitude,” you quip, a little more breathlessly than you meant to but with how slowly Ash is rocking into you, you can’t help it.
You tilt towards him, angling yourself to pull his mouth down to yours; you’re feeling overwhelmed and you need him close. His tongue traces over your lips, his kiss the familiar reassurance you need in this moment. “Ash…” You whimper quietly, closing your eyes and savoring the feel of his beard grazing your skin.
“I know, baby, me too,” he soothes, cradling you tighter against him. His hips begin to pick up speed and his hand moves to knead your breasts and tug at your nipples before travelling further down.
Ashton rubs slow, tight circles on your clit, stopping to give your thigh a light smack when you start raising your hips a little too eagerly, bucking up in an attempt to get him to move at a speed more to your liking. You moan first at the realization that he’s going to keep teasing you like this and then again, louder, at the sharp slap of his palm that once again comes down on your skin.
“You’ve got a nice tone tonight, baby, I should get you to lay down some vocals for this track,” he jokes, choking back a moan of his own when your surprised laughter causes you to clench around his length.
You chuckle smugly at him, “Not so funny all of a sudden, huh?”
You feel yourself getting closer so you start rolling your hips along with his, murmuring at the feeling of him deep inside you; you grind against his hand playing between your legs and as he finally amps up the pace, your release becomes closer and closer to reality. Your breathing syncs with his in a needy, staccato rhythm that wouldn’t have sounded out of place in his song.
“Is this what you wanted?” He huffs out. Typically when he asks you that while he’s buried in you, there’s a tone of arrogance or punishment behind it but right now as he holds you, your sounds continuing to meld together, it couldn’t feel farther from that.
“Yes, Ash, god yes…” you breathe, reaching to hold onto him as your orgasm overtakes you.
Ashton keeps driving his cock inside you, whining slightly at the feeling of you pulsing around him. You cry out, not realizing how loud or long your moans are until you hear his voice in your ear, gently lulling you back down.
He’s still moving inside you, hips beginning to stutter and when you hear his breath catch, you know he’s there. You tuck yourself into him, cooing, “Come on, Ash... fill me up, babe.” Three strokes later and he’s pumping his cum inside you, gasping your name. He slows his movements, heavy breath underscored by a contented hum as you caress his bearded cheek.
He leans in and kisses you passionately, completely enveloping you, possibly your favorite feeling in the world. He exhales loudly and keeps holding you, kissing over your face tenderly.
You giggle as he indulges for a moment before reluctantly pulling away, reaching for the takeout napkins on the coffee table; he attentively cleans you up and quickly settles back onto the couch, pulling you on top of him.
You lay together, blissed out, while you play with the necklace hanging down on his chest and he strokes over your hair.
“Hey, sorry I gave you such a hard time,” you smile. “Didn’t realize how much I wanted your attention until I didn’t have it anymore.”
He looks at you, amused. “Honestly didn’t notice you acting any differently.”
You jab his side. “Also sorry I talked shit about your first album, I do actually like it quite a bit.”
Ash cackles, tracing designs on your back. “Oh good, I was worried that was going to be what finally drives us apart,” he cracks.
You snicker, nuzzling your head into his chest. You enjoy a few quiet moments together before he begins softly humming an unfamiliar melody and you smile, knowing his creative wheels are turning again.
You lift your head up again to offer one last apology. “I’m sorry I once again disrupted The Process.”
Ashton laughs mischievously, running his hands down your body. “I mean… overall I’d say this was some pretty valuable feedback.”
————-
Thank you to everyone who has signed up for the taglist, both for the support and the lovely (occasionally hilarious) feedback! If you haven’t signed up yet, the form is linked above! (If you signed up and your name is crossed out or not listed, I was unable to tag you, please check your blog settings and either re-sign up or send me a message letting me know you allow mentions now) @notinthesameguey @cxddlyash @2fangirl4u @cashtonasfuck @talkfastromance4 @itjustkindahappenedreally @saywhatnow07 @mymindwide @suchalonelysunflower @pxrxmoore @findingliam-o @fedorable-killjoys @trix-arent-for-kids @olivia-foster-irwin @saphseoul @calmsweetcreature @onthecliffside-mgc @feliznavidaddycal @himbohood @maggiesupertramp @wiiildflowerrr @karajaynetoday @ashtonangst @sunshineeashton @aladyofalbion @youngblood199456 @xsongbirdx @loveroflrh @fairytrice @calumrose @irwindoll @polycashton @in-superbloom
#5sos smut#5 seconds of summer smut#ashton irwin smut#ashton irwin fic#ashton smut#kindahoping4forever#Feedback#kh4f fic#smut#thank you for reading!#feedback is appreciated#reblogs are gold and reblogs with tags makes you yourself golden#idk why that's a preexisting tag but I'm going with it lmao the point is let me know what you think pls!#this is the last fic I have banked so hopefully my health will chill so I can finish up at least one of those WIPs I've been hyping#also um hello we really don't talk enough about the fact that Ash produced a fucking song live on IG & then just dropped it on Twitter lol#like wtf how blessed were we#and looking like that as well#big sigh
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Nolan liking paige's pics isnt big news. He's a single guy on insta single guys like thirst traps. He likes a lot of girls pics but ig paige's name make news on tumblr so anons cling to anything related to her its not that deep. I said this on the other blog too but i follow tom holland on insta and i would see his likes on insta model thirst traps all the time before he got w zendaya. Point is all single guys r the same yall trying to make somethin outta nothin all the time 🤷🏻♀️
You have a point here. It would be weird if he had a girlfriend and was liking pictures of models or thirst traps, but he's single like you said.
It doesn't look like he's been liking Paige's posts anyway! I couldn't find any likes through his main account and I tried to find likes through his private account on a few pictures and nothing showed up.
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To Call You Mine
college!tsuki x reader series
Ch. 3 - not a buddy, just a tutor
warning(s): toxic relationship behavior, toxic mindset, loneliness ☹️, kind of some Angst 😶
a/n: hehehehe I loved the way some of y’all were reacting about the boyfriend part LMAO , I hope you enjoy this ch!! And you know I love love love hearing from you guys :)
Ch. 1 Ch. 2
“Tomorrow, we’ll be sure to review…”
You couldn’t focus on what your professor said as you left the classroom, thumbs moving at the speed of light as you texted Tsukishima back urgently.
Wednesday 12:02 pm
- ‘Omg, I seriously owe you sm. Class wasn’t perfect but it kind of made SENSE! Ty fr :)’
You probably looked like an idiot smiling so big down at your phone but you couldn’t fathom how relieved you felt versus the usual existential dread that hung over you nearly every other day after Calc.
You turn your ringer back on as you shove your phone into your pocket, remnants of a small smile resting on your face. Still reeling from your accomplished high, you figured some celebratory coffee would-
ding
You think the speed at which you snatched your phone back out, almost fumbling it in the process, was more embarrassing than how you were smiling earlier. It just felt nice to hear some validation from Tsuki, you haven’t known him long - at all - but it didn’t feel like a regular occurrence with him. And it kind of made you feel special if you were being honest.
Kai💗😩🥳
- ‘Still down to hang?’
Your cheeks began to hurt with how often you were smiling today. Not who you were expecting, but it made you pleased nonetheless to see your boyfriends contact pop up onto your screen. You clicked on the message and unlocked your phone, typing your response chalk full of cheesy emojis.
ding
ding
ding
ding
The notifications momentarily pause your movements as you read the banners quickly and quietly to yourself.
Tsukishima :)
- ‘sounds like you still need a tutor 🙄’
- ‘and np’
- ‘if you need to go over today’s lesson before Sunday just text me and we’ll figure something out.’
- ‘but we’re still on for Sunday so no there’s no getting out of that.’
You made a mental note to finish your text to Kai in a moment, swiping to get to Tsuki’s messages.
- ‘that eager to see me again? Aren’t you sweet 😌 I’m getting coffee as a gift for myself, if you’re not busy ig I could get you one too as a thanks 🙄’
You clicked your phone off once more, ignoring the string of sounds coming from your back pocket, instead choosing to focus on the walk there and mentally check your schedule to see when you were free. Maybe you’d take him up on his offer.
The walk was short enough to not have to worry about warming back up when you got inside, which really meant you could have an iced coffee without the consequences of a cold drink during the chilly autumn weather.
Walking up to wait in line, you debated between choosing your regular order or trying something new. Your eyes bore into the menu with an intensity comparable to someone like Kai on the court. You giggled quietly to yourself at such a clever thought before going back to deciding what you wanted before it was your turn to order.
“Hmm, blatantly ignoring me and giggling to yourself about it? You certainly are in a mood, aren’t you?”
You nearly jumped out of your skin at the sound of a familiar cocky voice behind you, warmth emitting from his chest that almost had you backing into it.
You huffed and turned your head over your shoulder to see Tsuki, the man of the hour, looming over you with that shit eating grin.
“You think you’re cute sneaking up on me like that?” You squinted your eyes and reached out to lightly smack his, surprisingly quite firm, chest.
“Adorable, actually.” His smile got even wider when you rolled your eyes and tried not to smile yourself, turning your attention back to the menu.
“You know, if you would’ve answered my texts you would’ve had a coffee waiting for you already.” Tsuki commented and sighed, feigning annoyance with you as he watched you glance between him and your phone, now in your hand, in confusion.
Tsukishima :)
- ‘not eager to see you, eager to tutor you more so I get to see you less ❤️’
- ‘and now you’re offering to buy me a drink? Who really wants to see who’
- ‘I’m already here anyway, just text me what you want.’
- ‘you’re offer expires in about 39 seconds.’
- ‘😐’
- ‘sucks for you ig.’
You chuckle and put your phone away, cooing playfully about how sweet he is as you watch his arrogant smile slowly fade away from his face. It wasn’t until you gained the attention of a couple people around you that he had enough, muttering about how annoying you are and how he can’t wait to get rid of you as he nudges you up to the cashier.
Placing your order, you step to the side and wait - and apparently Tsukishima was going to be waiting with you.
“So, you said you felt more comfortable in class?”
His face was more serious now as he asked you the question, no playful smiles or a snarky demeanor. You could tell he was just waiting for a genuine answer.
His eyebrows rested softly on his face as you spoke. They sat not too far above his eyes that were slightly wider than normal, occasionally raising in response to the lilts in your voice. His lips were only slightly parted, resting in a fine line. He looked, contemplative.
“Oh, hey babe!”
A familiar booming voice cuts you off mid rant, your face and body twisting into it’s direction.
“I thought you were maybe talking to your calc professor or somethin’ since you didn’t answer my text right away like you usually do.” Kai, your boyfriend, was right next to you now. His long, strong arm pulling you into his side to keep you there, pressing a kiss to the side of your head in the process.
He turned his attention to Tsukishima now, eyeing him up and down before offering him his own signature grin: all toothy, bright, and fake.
“I’m Kai, her boyfriend, nice to meet you.”
You internally screamed at the way he had to emphasize the fact that he was your boyfriend, and then internally screamed even louder at the way Tsukishima chuckled - no scoffed - at what Kai said.
Not every person to ever be in your presence was a threat to the security of your relationship.
You hated how over protective he could be sometimes, even if he means well. Deciding now wasn’t the time to mull over your recent relationship troubles, you gave Tsuki an “I’m sorry he can be like that sometimes” glance.
Squeezing quickly onto Kai’s arm, you took your turn to speak before either of them could.
“This is Tsukishima, my frien-“
“What’s so funny?” Kai had that smile still, but tilted his head just enough to show he wasn’t really smiling.
“I’m Tsukishima Kei, her tutor, nice to meet you. I just think it’s funny our names are so similar, that’s all.”
Tsuki’s smirk screamed “I’m a liar and that’s most definitely not what I’m laughing about”, and his eyes gleamed with playfulness, toying with the limits of your boyfriends patience.
Kai was a well built man. 6’2”, not too lean but not too big, and a wide frame. And when you pair that with his resting face and his usual, presence, he likes to carry, he’s not always the most approachable person. And he certainly doesn’t make it easy when he’s actively trying to be intimidating, or whatever it is he does. But thankfully Tsukishima’s either too stupid to notice or simply doesn’t care; either way you appreciate the consistency in his attitude.
What you didn’t appreciate was being cut off.
“Like I was trying to say, Tsukishima’s a friend. M-“
“Oh, so we’re friends now? I wouldn’t say a single tutoring session makes us friends.” Tsuki’s silly little smirk was short lived as he met your eyes.
You really didn’t appreciate being cut off. Twice. And maybe you didn’t appreciate this little attitude of his.
“Oh? Well I didn’t know acquaintances offered to buy the other coffee.” Your eyes bore into his with a harsh stare, making the tips of his ears start to turn red before he did his best to make up for himself.
“They do when they’re trying to get to know them better. I mean, if that’s allowed?” The expectant glare Tsukishima gave Kai made your blood run cold.
Such an asshole.
You clenched your jaw and huffed, but before you or Kai could get to speak, Tsuki beat you both to it.
“Just text me and we’ll figure something out, see you Sunday if not sooner.”
And with that he was gone, snatching his bag up and shoving his belongings into it carelessly before pushing through the door.
The gust of wind that blew through was appropriately cold for the situation.
“Order for (y/n)!”
—
“How am I the dick here?” Kai’s voice bounced off the walls in your cramped dorm, his harsh tone echoing from all corners of the space.
Thankfully, most people were probably out in a class or eating lunch at this time like Bonnie was.
“Why do you have to make everything a pissing contest between you and any man in my general vicinity? I don’t know Kai, maybe I’d like to fucking have another friend besides Bo-“
“Oh don’t guilt trip m-“
Interrupted, again.
“Quit doing that! Quit cutting me off just let me speak!”
You felt your voice crack from the extensive length the two of you have been going at it, just trying to get a word out. The tension was high in the room as you calmed yourself down and caught your breath, doing your best to swallow the growing lump in your throat.
“Just,”, you groaned and covered your face with your hands for a brief moment before continuing,
“We’re supposed to be working on our trust, Kai.”
It was quiet for a few seconds before he spoke up softly.
“Babe, it’s not you that I don’t trust.”
You sighed deeply as you felt the hot tears that had been waiting to spill run down your cheeks.
“Kai. That’s bullshit. It doesn’t matter that you don’t trust other people or whatever the hell you’re saying, cause I’m the one being affected by your feelings and actions. I’m the one who might lose a possible friend because you’re insecure.”
That must’ve been his last straw. Because instead of another sharp response, it was silent. The sound of the door clicking open making noise rather than him himself.
It caught your attention as you looked up to watch Kai begin to leave just barely hearing him say,
“I’ll talk to you later.”
The silence that filled the space after he left was suffocating. You wanted to scream, cry, and go to bed all at once. And the latter didn’t sound like such a bad idea.
You rolled onto your bed and clutched onto your blanket tight, not wanting to let your feelings fester and think about how angry you were right now. But you couldn’t stop yourself when your chest grew heavy as you began to sob, you hated how often he’d just avoid an issue. But right now, that’s exactly what you felt like doing, too.
Sitting up, you changed and crawled under the covers, deciding a nap was the only way you were gonna be able to give yourself a break right now. And you were completely right.
Not before changing his contact to just, “Kai”, of course.
He doesn’t deserve the emojis right now.
—
It was dark and your skin was clammy when you woke up, your head pounding. You were in desperate need of a drink of water. Sitting up slowly, rubbing your face in a desperate attempt to smooth away your grogginess, you hopped off your bed towards your desk.
Why does being with him have to be so draining?
You’ve never felt like your relationship was perfect or easy, but you’ve also never felt like it wasn’t worth it. How often does someone stay with their high school sweetheart - albeit off and on - until their second year in college? And besides, you were both trying to make it easy for each other at the least.
Making friends was easy for you, it was keeping them that was hard. Remembering to set aside time to make plans, or even remember to make them in the first place. Or even doing something simple like shooting them a text, whether it was your nerves or not you’ve always just told yourself you’re too busy and too focused to spend time creating a bunch of lasting friendships.
But Kai? Kai’s always stuck around, no matter how many times he’s reminded you how often you’ve made things difficult for the two of you. Even when he’s left he’s come back, willing to listen and figure it all out. He’s always been your one and only. But that’s also the problem;
He’s always been your one and only.
Recently it’s felt like no matter what you do, he’s the reason you can’t keep a friend.
Why need a friend when you have Kai, he’s basically your friend, too, right? They want too much of your time, they’re too touchy, they’re too pushy, shouldn’t you be studying? Shouldn’t you be hanging out with him?
You plopped down into your desk chair and placed your head in your hands, your thoughts beginning to overwhelm you again.
ding
Peeking an eye over to your phone, still sitting on your nightstand from where you left it earlier, you reluctantly made your way over to see who was bothering you.
Bon Bon 🥐💗
- ‘Ahhhhh! Sorry I’m not back yet (even though I don’t think you and Kai will mind lolol) I’m just gonna stay at my friends house for the night so don’t worry bout me! Just a late night study sesh gone too long is all :) love ya girlie!’
A sudden wave of loneliness washed over you as you tried not to cry again, you were getting annoyed at how many times you felt like crying tonight.
You stared at her message for a few more moments before finally sending your reply.
- ‘you’re good :) we’re having a late night movie sesh so I’m gonna get back to that! ily 2 see u tmrw ❤️’
You don’t know why you felt like you had to lie, maybe you just didn’t want to have to explain it all right now, or worry her.
You noticed you had a few more messages waiting to be read, too. Although none were from Kai.
Tsukishima :)
4:32 pm
- ‘sorry if I came off weird earlier. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable or upset, I just didn’t like how Kai was acting.’
5:01 pm
- ‘by how Kai was acting I mean he just acted like he had a problem with me when we’ve never even met before. I know I antagonized him too though so to be more specific I’m sorry about that.’
- ‘I’m also sorry if I caused friction between you two, let me know if you’re still comfortable with me tutoring you or if you’d rather me find you someone else. I know some pretty nice ones.’
- ‘just to clarify though I personally don’t have a problem continuing to tutor. Don’t want you to think you did anything to upset me.’
You sniffled and glanced up to the small digits in the upper left hand corner of your screen.
11:56 pm
Jesus.
You stared at his texts for a while, unsure of what to say but also relieved at the fact he texted you. Seems like you were worried about Kai spoiling this budding friendship for you more than you thought.
Thursday 12:03 am
- ‘ty for the apology I really appreciate that. It was kind of awkward but Kai also really played into the whole situation so I’m sorry for how he acted too. I’m very okay with you being my tutor still but ty for asking’
- ‘I’m actually free to even study now lol’
- ‘you do still owe me that coffee’
You felt the tiniest of weights lift off your shoulders as you sent your messages. It felt nice knowing-
ding
..
There’s no way he should be up this late. Doesn’t he have crazy early workouts for volleyball or something?
Tsukishima :)
- ‘ofc. I’m actually at the library now if you want to join me :) same spot as last time’
The fact he replied so quickly was surprising, and his seemingly equal eagerness to see you surprised you even more. But, in a pleasantly surprised kind of way.
You smiled down at your phone, sitting up and slipping your slides on at a lethal pace. It felt good to smile a little bit.
And really, it’s not like you had anything better to do. Plus, being alone right now doesn’t exactly sound like too much fun.
You texted him a quick, “omw!”, before slipping out of your dorm.
You could guess Tsukishima is just as lonely as you are with how quick he seemed to invite you to a study session.
Hmph. Acquaintances my ass.
—————————
Any thoughts on Kai? On y/n and their relationship? ?Any thoughts at all??? Send em my way :)
taglist for series: @plutowrites @c0rncheez @ruetaro @toyas-wife @devilkou @anime-and-kpop-trash @haley-talks-too-much @jiungsfav @sergeant102105 (if you’d like to be added or removed let me know!)
#did you notice how y/n changed Tsukishimas contact beheheheh#TSUKIS KINDA DOWN BAD… LOOK AT ALL THOSE TEXTS OML#hq <3#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu headcanons#haikyuu!!#haikyu x reader#tsukishima x reader#hq tsukishima#haikyuu tsukishima#tsukishima x y/n#tsukishima hcs#tsukishima fanfiction#tsuki fluff#tsukishima imagine#tsukishima headcanons#tsukishima kei#tsuki x reader
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ok ig cashier damian is my latest hyper fixiation, so let’s add
• Ight so, on fridays, jon cannot come in all the time, very rarely can he. and when he does. he sees a very cute sleepy damian who also wants to punch him:)
• damian is just a mess. he didn’t have time to fix his appearance because as soon as he got out of school, he had to change in a shitty unsanitary grocery store bathroom.
• it was not fucking fun. it never is. damian is so over it. jon normally sees Damian working on homework quickly before putting it away when Jon or other customers show
• damian cannot be asked to look like a normal human being when he just finished 7 sad hours of school in ANOTHER shitty uniform. he hates uniforms
Jon: you look like you’re gonna fall asleep
Damian: ugh, look who it is, the good boy from metropolis who doesn’t look like a creep at all when he comes here just to talk to me. woo hoo!
Jon: nice to see you too
• jon normally sucked on lollipops when he didn’t want to chew on gum, plus sometimes he chews on gum really aggressively and it hurts his jaw
• but let’s talk abt jonny: star athlete ( I’m a simp for athletes jon, please kill me. he’s a basketball player in this though. he got the height for it anyway ), himbo-vibes, and overall sweetheart.
• at least that’s what everyone else thinks. his life is a cycle. A very miserable cycle. It’s honestly tiring and hurts his head and generally takes his mood down
• but then he drove to bludhaven in his new car and brand new license. and he saw him.
• sure he’s seen moody teenagers working at stores before, but this boy; Damian, by his name tag, was different. He SENSED IT
• jon found that he liked different
• damian.. just didn’t easily talk with Jon like so many did at home. he liked a challenge
• and Damian was his challenge
• so he wasted so much gas and time and money to visit him.
• he was so whipped
• he was attracted to him. just the way he did things. like goddamn. ok.
• then his friends and him took a trip there. it was Saturday, they were gonna leave on Sunday. it was for Kathy’s birthday. He had no idea why she wanted to go here.
• oh. yeah. The idiots taken in for underaged drinking. Jon didn’t drink. ( he was a good boy and designated driver ) so he was just there trying to get the officers to let his friends off the hook
Damian: oh look, guess the good boy isn’t really a good boy.
Jon: Damian—? No! I’m here to get my friends out!
Damian: figures, you’re too innocent to do bad things.
Jon: what did you do then?
Damian: well wouldnt my you like to know
Dick: Damian! There you are! Sorry, I was calling up some parents- who is this?
Damian: Good boy.
Dick: ah.
Jon: Jon Kent.. nice to meet you
Dick: wait. As in Clark Kent?
Jon: yeah? that’s my dad
Dick: aw your dad used to babysit me
Damian: can we go now
Dick: hush Damian, I’m feeling nostalgic
• so Damian learned jons name. And jon got to see Damian in regular clothes, so that was cool
• he also got in trouble and couldn’t see Damian for a month because his parents were upset about what happened.. understandable, but jon was still upset
Tai: soo, that was him?:)
Jon: shut up
• tai accidentally found out about cashier boy, it was very funny for tai. not Jon. he teased jon for being whipped.
• sure jon liked damian for his looks at first. then he liked him for him.
Jon: dad, some guy named dick said hi
Clark: jon it isn’t— wait-
Jon: he said you babysat him
Clark: really? You saw him, how did he look? I haven’t seen him since he was a kid!
Jon: um. good?
Clark: where did you see him?
Jon: ..the police place
• his parents put a tracker on jons phone. now they were so confused why their son kept going to Giant Beagle in bludhaven. it was. weird.
• they just- was he meeting someone?? why was he doing this? WAS HE GETTING DRUGS? wait. no. it’s jon. jon couldn’t even stand the smell of cigarettes
Lois: jon.. honey.
Jon: yeah?
Lois: why do you keep driving to bludhaven? I’m worried about you and want to make sure you aren’t doing anything.. bad. Or dangerous.
• granted, it was very dangerous going out there, but he liked it. he liked the thrill of when he got to walk damian back sometimes! HE WAS GETTING CLOSER TO DAMIAN!
• oh also. it turns out damian gave him a fake number
• rude.
• damian always warned him though. and tried to make jon not walk far. jon was.. jon was a good boy. he would never survive in bludhaven frequently, jt worried humored damian.
• sometimes jon came by during the day. Damian’s Sunday shift was in the evening while his Saturday one was in the morning. jon got to go get lunch with him sometimes if Damian felt like there were enough people around that would know if he got kidnapped or not
Damian: why do you bother talking to me? most get bored of me and my attitude.
Jon: I find it charming. you’re fun to talk to. you feel so real. almost everyone in my life feels artificial and like I’m living in a disney Chanel movie.
Damian: *he laughed* oh?
Jon, loving Damians laugh rn: yeah! it’s like they’re.. androids or somethin’.
Damian: why don’t you just find someone snarky from metropolis?
Jon: it wouldn’t be as fun then.
Jon: i like a challenge.
• getting to know damian was like trying to beat the hardest level in his game. it was mind blowing how many times he basically had to restart. Damian was also like a Rubix cube, but jon will get there. He already has 1 side done on it.
Jon: so you live with your brother?
Damian: yes.
Jon: nice
• jon didn’t pry. Damian and dick had became forgotten after bruces death, a lot of the kids did. they just all disappeared from the media like ghosts.
• so jon didn’t know that dick wasn’t his blood relative, or that Damian was Bruce’s child. no one really did
• it wasn’t like it mattered though anyways
Damian: basketball is lame.
Jon: have you ever played?
Damian: yes. it sucked ass
• jon has helped Damian restocked late at night sometimes. Damian doesn’t like him touching things, but the faster he does it, faster he can go home to get his pets, alfred, and his idiot brother
Damian: you waste a lot of gas coming to see me.
Jon: it’s worth it.
• jon had to get a job. boo. he worked on days he didn’t have practice and sadly, on sundays.
• he was a worker at a small cafe, he was just a waiter there
• and then one day, on a Sunday, Damian came in with a few people. WAIT DAMIAN CAME IN
Jon: DAMIAN
Damian, clearly startled: what the fuck, jon!
Jon: why’re you here! how long are you staying! ARE TOU REALLY HERE!
Maya: is this who you were talking about?
Damian: shut up.. but calm down, idiot.
Damian: .. you got a haircut.
Jon: you- you noticed? sorry I couldn’t come this week. was busy this week and needed to catch up on sleep.
Damian:’it’s fine. I guess I really should give you my number now.
Colin: that was smooth
Jon: really?
Damian: mhm. after you seat us, dumbass.
Jon: oh right
• and Damian did give jon his number
• a real one dw
Maps: he was cute.. he single?
Maya: he wouldn’t be single if Damian just manned up
Colin: they practically just stared at each other the whole time when they thought the other wasn’t looking
Damian: wait he was looking at me?
Maya: oh damians so whipped.
• oh how the cashier is falling for the waiter
• sounds like a hallmark film.
• next week jon did end up visiting him in ‘haven, and drove him home.
• damians feet were hurting and he was tired so he didn’t even bother to argue.
• jon couldn’t come to visit his favorite cashier during winters a lot, he may of liked his new “dangerous” life, but he heard how bad the roses could get from Damian
• damian was a bit sad and moody because of that. but shut up. you don’t know anything dick
Dick: you know.. you should invite him inside
Damian: so you can embarrass me? no thank you.
Dick: me? embarrass you? never. but come on, you have never shown interested in anyone before! I wanna meet him!
Damian: you already did. At the police station. you forget or something?
Dick: .. that wasn’t really the best first meeting. come on. please?
Damian: no.
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i would die for you, clint barton (clint barton x oc)
a/n: HI I’M BACK with a stupid little drabble. the talented @obwjam has reignited my love for comics!clint barton so i wrote a fic of him and an oc. i haven’t proofread it and the ending super sucks but i still managed to churn out about 1900 words so enjoy!!!
i’ll proofread/edit in the morning lol
brig is nb; they/them pronouns pls
They’re scared, and Clint gets it. He’d be scared, too, if there was some weird giant searching for him. He’s no stranger to the feeling of fear. But when he’s the one causing it, it feels terrible.
Brooklyn is in shambles. A new supervillain group tests their weapons on a bank in Bushwick, the Avengers are on the case, a city block is engulfed in chaos and violence. And Clint Barton is searching for a 3-inch-tall person who’s hiding in the alleyway of a Dunkin Donuts.
He sighs and kneels down, peering under the dumpster. Huddled in the dark is the shaking borrower, who stares back with wide eyes and a gaping mouth. They look like crap: covered in dried blood and dirt, their clothes torn and ratty. But the little guy is stubborn as hell, and hurls a pebble in his direction. They miss by a long shot. He would’ve laughed if the city wasn’t on fire.
“C’mon out, bud,” he says. A faint boom! rattles the world behind him. “It’s not safe under there. Are you lookin’ to be caught? A rat, an alley cat… God forbid, there might be a human who ain’t as nice as I am.” With a nervous glance behind him, he sees Kate dart past, notching an arrow and letting it fly. “Not to mention that the city’s comin’ apart.”
They shout something back, and Clint can barely piece together the words leave and alone. It’s not helpful, though, that they’re so small and covered in shadow. And the fact that he can see their teary eyes in the dark is not helping his conscience. Another explosion shakes the earth, and the borrower lets out a wail that he does hear.
They’re both getting frantic. He softens his face, puts a pleading look into his eyes. “Please,” he calls. “I can keep you safe.”
The borrower doesn’t get to respond. A scream rips through the air, and he’s made up his mind. He jumps to his feet and drags the dumpster back, only getting a glimpse of the sheer terror on their tiny face before he scoops them up in a fist and tucks them into a jacket pocket. It’s not ideal, but if it means they won’t be crushed or eaten, he’ll take it.
They’re writhing, and he ignores it. The feeling of them shaking against his chest forms a pit in his stomach. They’re scared, but at least they’re safe.
The rest of the battle zips by like a blur. Clint spends it shielding the borrower, dodging rubble, and praying to whatever gods present for this little guy to not be so terrified of him. Their shaking has stopped for now, but they’re stiff as a board and flinching with every move he makes. When the fight dies down, he’s left nursing a wound on his shoulder and cupping his hand around his pocket. He’s gotta get out of there, and fast.
His free hand finds his comms, and he sends a quick farewell message to Kate. She responds quick, familiar beeps filling his ears: Get home safe. See you soon, Hawkeye.
The message brings a smile to his face, but it disappears when he remembers his job. His day isn’t over yet.
He runs his way home.
The apartment greets him with blinding fluorescents and a mess on his coffee table. Things that are normally hangover-induced nuisances are now pushed to the far corners of his mind as he limps to his counter.
His fingers dive into his pocket, and he does his best to be gentle, but with the little guy swerving away from his hand, he ends up tangled around their limbs, pulling them out in a quivering heap. They’re a pitiful sight; their tiny face is tear-stained, and once they lock eyes, the poor kid flinches back into their protective huddle.
They’re speaking, and fast. That much he knows. Their voice is buzzing away. But he can’t understand anything that's coming out. He gets the gist of what they might be saying: there’s a pleading look in their eyes, and their lip is quivering. He doesn’t like this feeling.
“Hey,” he whispers, cupping his hands closer around the tiny body. “Hey. Look at me.” He nudges their shoulder. They’re practically humming with anxiety. “C’mon, calm down, buddy. You’re okay.”
They aren’t making any progress like this. Clint lowers his hands to the countertop and the borrower stumbles off, clutching their chest and scrubbing the tears from their eyes. “Look,” he says softly. “Not touching you anymore, see? You’re fine. You’re okay.”
He watches with a pang in his heart as they cry for a bit, hugging their knees to their chest, and takes the time to look them over. Their hair is dark and matted, their clothes patchy, their face young, but thin and gaunt. This isn’t the same stubborn little guy he’d met an hour ago; this is someone who is absolutely-fucking-terrified of him. He can barely deal with crying people at his own height; he can’t even begin to comfort someone who’s three inches tall.
Reasoning sets in as they clear their eyes of the last of their tears. Even if he was well-intentioned, he did sorta… take them. Grab them up and stick them in a pocket. If some giant had done that to him, he’d be pretty scared, too.
“Do you understand me?” he tries. The tiny head snaps up, and the kid babbles something that vaguely sounds like sorry and don’t hurt. “No, no, I promise I’m not gonna hurt you… Fuck. I was — I was just tryna keep you safe!” It’s hard to read lips on such a small face, but he gets the gist of it, and it hurts like hell.
This isn’t working out so great. “Let’s start over, okay? I’m Clint. Clint Barton. And I — I can’t hear you all that well.”
That gets them to shut up. The fear disappears from their face, replaced by sheer bewilderment. (Yeah. As if they’re the one that should be surprised.) They scrub their eyes and stare at him in awe, and Clint can’t help but chuckle. “Weird, I know. But we can figure somethin’ out, alright? You okay to talk? Or just… shake your head, yes or no.”
That gets a timid nod. “Great. Good. Not hurt, are you?” A shake. “Thank God for that.” Now we’re getting somewhere. But Clint needs to ask them questions, and he needs to get answers. How is he supposed to talk to someone smaller than his finger?
His mind is racing. Sign language! It’s a long shot, but just maybe he can get through to them.
“Do you understand this?” His hands move slow, just in case. But it doesn’t go the way he’s hoping. The borrower shrieks and falls back, and they’re both back to square one. “No, hey, wait! It’s okay!” He signs while he speaks, and the kid watches every move he makes with terrified eyes. “Look — it’s a language! My name is Clint. C-L-I-N-T.” Each letter is deliberate, and with each second, the little guy uncurls from their protective ball. “Now that I’ve told you my name, will you tell me yours?”
They both fall silent. He holds his breath and watches the tiny face with a furrowed brow. It’s small, almost impossible to see, but there’s a hint of hope in their eyes. He’s so overcome with joy that he doesn’t notice them open their mouth.
“...ig.”
He freezes. “Sorry, what?”
They wither back. “Brig,” they say, louder this time. Their voice is muffled and nervous, but it’s there. And Clint can’t stop himself from smiling.
“Brig,” he repeats. “That’s B-R-I-G. See?” He grins. They’re still cautious, but they watch his hands with curious eyes as he signs their name. “It’s nice to meet you, Brig.”
Good! This is good. Clint can see them coming out of their shell, little by little. They look unsure, but their hands twitch in time with his. “There’s so much you can say with just your hands! This is hello, and this is goodbye. Yes, no, please and thank you— I can teach you, if you want!”
The magic is gone, and Brig snaps back into their defensive huddle. “T-teach me?” they squeak. “But… would mean…” They glance around the kitchen, eyes widening as they take in the sight. They’re so small compared to everything else. “What about… home?”
He’s overstepped his boundaries. He kneels to get closer to their level. They reel back, a gesture that goes unnoticed in his concern. “Was that where you live?” he asks. “Near where the fight was?”
They’re quick to nod. “Left… a bit,” they say. “Rats.” The last syllable is loud, clear, and bitter. “Got caught… the fight.” Brig shrugs, looking nervous and embarrassed. “And by you.”
Clint frowns. A place like that is dangerous for someone of their size, but he’s in no place to argue. “Is there anyone you stay with? Any family or friends you can go back to?”
Now they’re silent. His heart plummets when they grimace and look away, a sadness creeping into their eyes. Realization crashes over him when they shake their head.
He hadn’t thought of that.
“You don’t have to stay,” he says gently. Guilt lingers in his chest as he leans back, too, suddenly self conscious about his hands. “I-I can get you back home if you need me too — I can’t imagine it’s all that safe, but if that’s what you want…” The borrower is tense, and Clint is cursing himself for being so hopeful.
Finally, after a minute of mulling it over, he gives a resigned sigh. “Damage Control is cleaning the place up,” he tells them. “They should be done in a week or two, okay? You can stay with me, but when they’re done… I’ll bring you back.” Every word hurts more than the last. “Only if you want to. How’s that sound?”
The kitchen falls silent. Clint’s heart is beating fast, and he bites his tongue as conflicting emotions flicker across the tiny face. “I-I can bring you back now, if you like,” he stammers. “Ya don’t have to stay. A-and you don’t have to tell me exactly where you live, but I can just drop you off and you can be on your way and we’ll b —”
“I’ll stay.”
This time, the little voice comes out strong. “You — you will?” he says.
They nod shyly in response, and he can piece together what they say next: “Just… back… my feet.” Just until I’m back on my feet.
He can live with that.
Clint’s heart swells with triumph. He can’t remember the last time he was this happy. There’s no explaining why he feels this way. “O-Okay. Awesome. Welcome home, Brig.”
He glances back at the mess in his apartment, then to the mess of his clothes, too. They’re both covered in dust and blood, but neither care about it as Clint laughs. “We should probably get cleaned up first, though. What do you say?”
He’s smiling. And for the first time all day, Brig is smiling, too.
They’ve got a lot of work to do.
#giant/tiny#g/t writing#marvel g/t#clint barton#deaf!clint barton#oc#borrowers#mustard writes#i keep saying i'm gonna make a part 2 but look where that's gotten me#its 1am#my writing#oc: brig
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Blame Me - Chapter 5
Fandom: The Walking Dead
Specified gender: Female
Word Count: 12K
Pairing: Daryl Dixon x reader,
TW: Canon typical violence, canon divergence, gore, murder, mention of past child death, mention of major character death (OC), Daryl and Aaron bonding time, Daryl and y/n bonding time, major character death
Genre: Horror ig?
Series: Blame Me
Requests: CLOSED
Masterlist
A/N: Okay, this is probably my least favourite chapter, but I can’t wait to write the next chapters. Chapter 6 and 7 are gonna be painful y’all so good luck. Enjoy!
<i>Daryl was quiet, Beth noticed. He was always quiet, but not like this. He hadn't been like this since after he'd lost his girl. Not that anyone knew that except for his asshole older brother. Beth was worried, about everyone, but right now, she was worried for Daryl most of all. Any time he <b>did</b> open his mouth, something sarcastic, cold or cynical came out. It wasn't like him. Maybe in the early days, but definitely not now. He couldn't stop thinking about everyone they'd lost. Not just at the prison, everyone they'd lost along the way. Even who he'd lost before. He didn't have much to lose before, but the people he had, were everything. She was everything. But she was gone. Probably dead. He was just holding out hope on another pipe dream. But even despite that, he couldn't bring himself to remove his ring. The cool metal almost burnt his skin whenever he thought about her, or anyone else he'd lost. Like a reminder of his failure. Since the prison had fallen, every day with Beth felt like a blur.
He shouldn't dwell on it, he knew that, but he couldn't help but wonder how many people died. How many people got out. If anyone other than him and Beth did. Part of him thought that it didn't matter. Hershel was dead because he didn't kill the Governor when he had the chance. He owed it to the vet to protect his daughter. And somehow, that had ended up with them in some old shed, something similar to what he and Merle would have lived in once upon a time, in the middle of the woods. Somehow, he'd ended up playing a dumb game, like some damn teenagers. At least Beth wasn't too far off. He took a sip of the moonshine as she started explaining, clearly slightly tipsy from her first-ever drink.
"So first, I say something I've never done and if you have done it, you drink, and if you haven't, I drink. Then we switch. You really don't know this game?" Beth raised her eyebrows in surprise, not deterred by his so-called "intimidating" stare. Daryl moved the hand that was in front of his face, shifting his position slightly.
"I never needed a game to get lit before."
"Wait, are we startin'?" She asked, and while her face stayed the same, Daryl picked up on the teasing lilt in her voice, eyes shining slightly.
"How do you know this game?" He questioned, using his pinky to point at her
"My friends played. I watched," She shifted slightly before lightly shaking her head "Okay, I'll start. I've never shot a crossbow. So now you drink."
Daryl reached forward to the glass of water and lifted it to his mouth, looking just as unamused as before "Ain't much of a game."
"That was a warm-up. Now you go," Beth insisted but Daryl just stared back at her for a second, shrugging.
"I don't know."
"Just say the first thing that pops into your head," She shot back with a small smile. Plenty of things popped into his head, but they were too personal to share with Beth. Too much about his girl. He didn't know if he was ready to tell her yet. Daryl knew Beth wouldn't care, not really, but just thinking about her made his brain and chest hurt. An aching he couldn't get rid of.
"I've never been out of Georgia," Was the answer he settled on. He was gonna leave Georgia, right after his hunting trip. Leave early, fly to South Carolina and surprise (Y/N) and her ma. But it never happened. Dead made sure of that. Beth's eyebrows rose slightly. He was an outdoorsy guy, a hunter. She thought he'd have been all over.
"Really? Okay, good one. I've never... been drunk and did somethin' I regretted," She stated after taking a sip of her drink. Beth knew she was starting to push the line slightly. Knew his fuse was slightly shorter after the prison. But he didn't bat an eye, just reached forward and had a drink.
"I've done a lot of things," He replied, keeping his gaze on the table. Yeah, like leave his girl behind. Didn't even go looking. What kind of husband didn't even try to find his wife when the world ended? "I never been on vacation."
"What about campin'?" Beth questioned but Daryl shook his head immediately.
"No, that was just something I had to learn to hunt," Because, his family were shitty people, and didn't even think to go looking when he went missing as a kid. Not that he added that.
"Your dad teach you?" She asked, and she knew that the line was getting toed here. She'd never asked about his dad, but from interactions she'd overheard with Daryl and Rick, sometimes Carol or even Carl, their relationship hadn't been pretty. Daryl released a hum of agreement.
"Alright... never have I ever been in love," Beth said, and she saw Daryl's eyes flicker down to the ring she still wore from when she was still with Jimmy. She didn't really expect much, but it was the only thing that came to mind. His eyebrows furrowed slightly, bristling at the implication behind her words, and he found himself spinning his own ring with his thumb, absentmindedly.
"The hell ya implyin'" He snapped, eyes narrowing slightly, and Beth looked slightly alarmed by how defensive he got and how quickly. She'd seen his explosive temper before but she'd never been at the brunt of it. But Daryl didn't back down, even as she showed him her scared eyes. The damn girl had no right prying. He'd played her stupid ass game, given her some stupid ass answers. But then, he swore he saw (Y/N) in the corner, giving him that disapproving look that made him swallow any anger he'd had right up, and he looked to the floor, taking a second to breathe.
"Ya ain't ever been in love?" It was clear Daryl was asking about Jimmy and Zach. His brain wandered to Zach, asking him every day without fail about what he did before the apocalypse; getting bitten on the way out of that store; getting crushed by the helicopter. Having to deliver the news to beth, who didn't even react.
"I loved Jimmy sure, but I wasn't in love with him. Zach neither. Meant a lot to me, both of 'em but, never loved 'em like that. I only married Jimmy because I thought we were the last ones left," Beth explained, and to anyone else, it would have sounded cold. But Daryl understood. This world did weird shit to your brain, and it didn't surprise him that she'd latched to Zach and Jimmy. While he was thinking, Beth watched his expression. She noticed the look of despair that crossed his face quickly, and how it hardened a second after. And finally, after over a year of them being in the group together, she saw his ring, as he brought his arm to rest on his knee so his other hand could twirl it. He hadn't even noticed he'd done it. He bit his lip, deep in thought, before he looked up and saw Beth's expectant eyes.
"Did you have to kill her?" If that didn't get under his skin he didn't know what would. No disapproving look from his not-there wife could stop the rage bubbling in his chest. It boiled up his neck, to his face and he just knew he'd gone slightly red. Almost immediately, he saw regret on Beth's as he stood up.
"I'm going to take a piss," Daryl snarled, picking up one of the empty jars on the table and smashing it as he made his way over to the corner of the room. He heard Beth's breath hitch in a suppressed gasp of surprise.
"You have to be quiet!" Beth hissed, and that only pissed him off more. He knew there were walkers outside, knew he was being stupid, but she'd started prying. Drunk or not, she'd gone too far and he'd had enough.
"Can't hear ya! 'M taking a piss!" He yelled back, to which Beth shot back some response about being quiet, as he unzipped and started doing his business "What, are ya ma chaperone now?"
Daryl zipped himself back up but didn't bother to do his belt up, and it clanked against his button. He knew this would be a good place to drop it since she had gone silent, but she'd taken a dig at him. One way too personal. One that involved <b>his</b> family. One she had no business in. So he whirled around, voice much louder than it should have been.
"Oh, wait. It's my turn, right? I've never-never eaten frozen yoghurt. Never had a pet pony. Never got nothin' from Santa Claus," He slammed his hand against the cluttered table he stood next to, as the emotions that had built up over the past few days finally poured out. Beth looked scared, but there was anger dwelling behind her eyes too "Never relied on anyone for protection before. Hell, I don't think I've ever relied on anyone for anything."
Daryl had started pacing, and he narrowed in on the blonde, tone sharp and cold. He knew he was lying at that point. True, he'd never relied on anyone for protection. But he'd relied on his girl for so much that he didn't even know where that list started or ended. She just swam in his head, and she could see those disapproving eyes again. Normally they were directed at Merle, but now they were directed to him, real or not, it stung being at the end of her contempt. And that only pushed him over the edge. Beth tried to stop him with a call of his name, but now he'd begun there was little that would stop him.
"Never sung out in front of a big group out in public like everythin' was fun. Like everything was a big game. Never got to say goodbye to ma wife. Never got to know if she was alive, dead, turned, murdered. I sure as hell never cut my wrists looking for attention," Beth didn't flinch when he brought up her failed suicide attempt. But when he mentioned (Y/N), that sad look was there again, and the anger in her eyes faded.
Daryl hadn't meant to say it, but he was so furious, so sad, so frustrated, so mad at the world, that it had slipped out, in a rare moment of vulnerability. He sprung the walls back up as soon as he'd let them down.
A crashing at the door and the growling of walkers made his head snap to the door, so fast he swore it should have snapped. And he couldn't stop. The seething, burning feeling was eating him up.
"Oh, sounds like our friend out there is trying to call his buddies," He tripped over the pans and pots and various other shit on the floor, making way too much noise. If he wasn't so angry, he would be cursing himself out now. He was sure he'd do that later.
"Daryl, just shut up," Beth begged through gritted teeth, but Daryl just turned around and pointing, a sharp smile playing on his lips. If Merle were here, he'd tell him he looked just like their Daddy. And he did, as much as he hated it. If his girl were here, she would be screaming at him. by now. She would have stopped him by now. But they were both gone. Just like everyone else.
"Hey, you never shot a crossbow before? I'm gonna teach you right now. Come on," Before he'd fully processed what he was doing, Daryl had grabbed Beth's arm, dragging her to the door and kicking it open. "It's gonna be fun."
"We should stay inside! Daryl, cut it out! Daryl!" She protested, screaming out as she tried to fight out of her grip but he wouldn't let her go.
"Dumbass. Come here, dumbass," Daryl whistled and the walker stumbled over, before he put a bolt in its shoulder, pinning it to the tree behind it. "You wanna shoot?"
"Daryl, I don't know how!" She exclaimed, fighting as Daryl pulled her in front of him, holding her in place with one hand as he got ready to shoot with the other.
"Oh, it's easier. Right corner," A bolt landed in the walker's leg and Beth finally broke free, turning around to face the redneck as he stepped away slightly, so he could pull the string back into place.
"C'mon it's fun," He was being fueled by unbridled rage and adrenaline now. A tiny voice in the back of his mind, that sounded suspiciously like Rick told him he'd regret this later but he pushed it away. Instead, he pulled Beth back into the previous position and shot the walker right where it's dead, rotting heart was.
"Kill it!" Daryl let go again as he stormed ahead to the walker.
"Come here, Greene. Let's pull these out. Get a little more target practice," Beth had decided that was enough, and with an annoyed huff, she sped ahead of Daryl to plant her knife into the walker's forehead "What the hell you do that for? We was having fun."
"No! You were being a jackass! If someone found your wife-" She growled back, and Daryl's glare burned into her but it didn't deter her, even as he got right into her face.
"Don't. That ain't remotely the same," Daryl shot back, rage burning through every vein, every organ, every muscle. But Beth knew she'd gotten to him, even if it was just a little bit.
"Killin' them ain't supposed to be fun!" She said, her own eyebrows coming into a glare and Daryl stepped even closer.
"What do ya want from me, girl?"
"I want you to stop acting like you don't give a crap about anythin'! Like nothin', we went through matters. Like none of the people we lost meant anythin' to you. It's bullshit!" Beth finally yelled back, frustration making tears build behind her eyes but that only seemed to rile Daryl up more, even if it had been toned down. Didn't give a shit? She really thought he didn't care? He'd damn near died for his people. He'd killed for his people and she thought he didn't give a shit?
"Is that what you think? Huh?" The only thing he could think as he heard himself were the words he'd said to his brother years ago, that was coming back to bite him in the ass. You really are our Daddy's son.
"That's what I know," Her words were instant, and Daryl could tell from her tone that they'd been building up for a while. But his mouth moved before his brain could fully process the thought.
"You don't know nothin'," He hissed, looking away for a second, as his voice wavered slightly.
"I know you look at me and you just see another dead girl. I'm not Michonne. I'm not Carol. I'm not Maggie. I've survived and you don't get it 'cause I'm not like you or them. But I made it and you don't get to treat me like crap just because you're afraid," Hell, if that didn't make him stop. His chest heaved as she spoke, his body taking a moment to recover from the anger that had made him shake. Been a while since he'd been that pissed off. But those final words, made his eyes narrow again, just as they'd softened.
"I ain't afraid of nothin'," Daryl stated, leaning in again. Beth had a look in her eye, telling him she didn't believe him. And she was right. He was scared every damn day. Every single damn time he thinks he's the most scared he'll ever be, some new herd, some new asshole, some new loss takes its place.
"I remember. When that little girl came out of the barn after my mom. You were like me," Daryl couldn't meet her eyes. He had been like her once. When he left for a hunting trip he never came back from. Then, he got stuck with his piece of shit older brother and became that asshole again. Then his brother was gone, and he had a new family. He wasn't who he had been with (Y/N), didn't know if he ever would be like that again, but it had been a start. Until the governor took that from him too "And now God forbid you ever let anybody get too close."
Every time someone got close, they died. Or put at great risk, or went missing, or got bit.
"Too close, huh? Ya know all about that. Ya lost two boyfriends, ya can't even shed a tear. Yer whole family's gone, all ya can do is just go out lookin' for hooch like some dumb college bitch," It was a low blow, but he was so drunk, so angry, he was struggling to get his words out like they were getting stuck in his throat.
"And your wife is gone and you don't say shit! Your brother died and you closed off! At least I talk about the ones I've lost instead of pretendin' like nothin' happened or like they didn't exist!" She snapped back, and the second the words left her mouth, she looked like she wanted to take them right back. Daryl stopped right there, frozen like a deer in headlights before turning around. Beth tried to reach for him but he shrugged out of her touch.
"Y'ain't got the right," He huffed out, the last of his anger dissipating, and he felt that void opening up again. The one that haunted him anytime he thought about his wife for too long. His shoulders deflated, and his gaze fixed on the back of the shed they'd found. Beth was hovering behind him, he could feel it. "The Governor rolled right up to our gates. Maybe if I wouldn't have stopped looking. Maybe 'cause I gave up. That's on me."
"Daryl-" Beth tried again, sympathy lacing her voice but he just shook her off once more. She watched as his shoulders tensed, and she prepared for him to rip into her again but instead, they started shaking lightly. Everything was crashing down on him all at once and he couldn't shake the thought of his girl alone, trying to survive on her own. Or his girl, eyes milky white and lifeless, feet dragging and body acting like dead weight as her pale, rotting skin peeled off.
"And ma girl? Maybe I could've done somethin'. Maybe I could've helped her," His voice cracked, the emotions finally crashing over him in a wave, and this time he didn't stop Beth as she wrapped her arms around his middle, head pressed against his back. He didn't stop the tears or the sobs that escaped him.
"I get why my dad stopped drinking," Beth's voice broke the peaceful silence that had fallen between them. Crickets and the wind brustling the trees were the only sounds as Daryl looked over to her, sat on the porch in the pale moonlight.
"Ya feel sick?" He asked, twirling his knife on the wooden panels beside him, glancing over dark eyelashes.
"Nope. I wish I could feel like this all the time. That's bad," She responded. Her hands were playing with the loose threads on her jeans, and she had this happy look in her eye. Too happy, but he didn't say anything. Not this time.
"Yer lucky yer a happy drunk," Daryl felt that stab of guilt again, as he thought back to the argument earlier. The one he could've dropped, but instead he blew it out of proportion and turned into Merle. Into his daddy.
"Yeah, I'm lucky. Some people can be real jerks when they drink," Beth gave him a pointed look, eyebrows raised slightly, but there was a small smile on her face.
"Yeah, 'm a dick when 'm drunk," He stabbed his knife into the wood and he let out a small huff before reluctantly opening his mouth again "Merle had these biker friends. Real buff, stern assholes. Didn't give a shit 'bout nobody but themselves. One day, he dragged me along with 'em to this back alley bar. Real dodgy place. Was barely 10 and we were all wasted. Merle was high. There was this girl with her friend and the guys wouldn't stop runnin' their mouths. Especially Merle. Never knew when to quit. Turns out, girl had heard everythin' they'd been sayin' 'bout her and her friend. She comes stormin' over, face red, lookin' pissed as all hell and starts gettin' in this guys face. Merle decides it's a good idea to grab her ass, and she goes for him, punches him right in the eye. Gave him one hell of a shiner."
Beth let out a small giggle as she took a sip of her moonshine and Daryl's lips quirked up slightly. His fingers worked to spin his ring around again and again and she watched it with a glimmer of shock that still hadn't faded away.
"I tried gettin' between and she shoved me away. But one of Merle's buddies, he don't like that. So, he pulls out his gun and raises it over ma shoulder to her face, right here," He points to the gap between his eyebrows, watching as Beth's own eyebrows rose "And this bar goes dead silent. C'aint hear a damn thang, but she just glares back. His buddy starts threatenin' her, sayin' how he's gonna do all these things to her and she don't say anythin'. Just looks back at him. All that because she stood up for herself," Daryl couldn't help but smile at the memory, despite how much it had freaked him out at the time. Only time he didn't get pissed at someone for hitting his brother. Fool deserve it.
"How'd she get out?" Beth asked, leaning forward slightly like she was on the edge of her seat.
"Managed to get between 'em. Guy punched me in the gut. I puked. They all started laughin' and started patting her on the back. 'Balls of steel', Merle said to her. She thanked me for gettin' between them and asked how I was. Walked her and her friend back to her car. And I don't know if she was tipsy or what, but she asked ma name. Asked if we could have a new introduction 'nother day or somethin. You want to know what I was before all this? I was just drifting around with Merle... doing whatever he said we were gonna be doin' that day. I was nobody. Nothin'. Some redneck asshole and an even bigger asshole for a brother. Got better when I met her. (Y/N) made us better," Daryl's eyes flittered down to his ring this time, looking at the grime and dirt that accumulated and pulled it off to wipe it on his shirt.
"You miss him, don't you? I miss Maggie. I miss her bossing me around. I miss my big brother Shawn. He was so annoyin' and overprotective. And my dad. I thought- I hoped he'd just live the rest of his life in peace, you know? I thought Maggie and Glenn would have a baby. And he'd get to be a grandpa. And we'd have birthdays and holidays and summer picnics. And he'd get really old. And it'd happen, but it'd be quiet. It'd be okay. He'd be surrounded by people he loved. That's how unbelievably stupid I am," Tears had formed in Beth's eyes, but she laughed through them. But she couldn't shake that image of her Dad, the governor stood behind him.
"That's how it was supposed to be," He grumbled. Beth was naive, but she wasn't blind. She could tell he wasn't talking just about her dad. He was talking about the life he had with his wife, a life he could have had. The life he deserved to have. Subconsciously, she couldn't help but be slightly jealous that she never had something like that.
"I wish I could just... change," Beth responded after a pause, and Daryl's eyebrow raised, slightly confused.
"Ya did."
"Not enough. Not like you. It's like you were made for how things are now. Sounds like ya girl was too."
He didn't say anything, biting his cheek lightly as he slid his ring back on. It was his comfort, she was his comfort. Maybe she was still out there. Maybe.
Maybe she was dead in a ditch. </i>
It still felt like a dream. He was still sure that if he gave himself a hard pinch she'd disappear right from his grasp. Everyone had dispersed thanks to Aaron and Carol's shepherding, but Daryl didn't miss the way (Y/N) watched after Carl and Judith, like she was scared something would happen. She didn't let go of him, not for another few minutes, that felt like seconds to him, and he would never complain. It didn't feel real.
There would be questions later, enough to bombard them back into hiding. He didn't care. Nothing mattered. She was here.
Eventually, Daryl managed to clear his head enough to pull her into the house his family had now evacuated out of. It felt alien, holding her again. Seeing her. Actually seeing her, not imagining her in some drunk or fear-induced frenzy. They were huddled together, in the corner Daryl had taken the night before. He couldn't let go, not now. There was something different about her. She'd changed. The apocalypse did that to you, he supposed but, this was different. There was guilt like she was hiding something from him. She'd done something, and he wanted to find out what it was.
"How the hell'd ya get here?" He asked, voice low and a grin rose on her face, which made his eyebrows furrow in confusion "What?"
"Ain't nothing. Just didn't think I'd hear your voice again," (Y/N) responded, her grin widening when he took her hand and started playing with her ring. "I was with mom when it started. Started travelling down to Georgia to find you and Merle. Met some people along the way."
She suddenly went quiet, her smile falling, and Daryl knew that look. Seen it on everyone's faces after camp; saw it on Carol, Beth, Maggie and Hershel's faces after the barn, Glenn and Maggie after the governor, Beth's after the prison; Rick, Carl and Michonne's the night with the claimers; everyone's after Terminus; Sasha and Gabriel after Bob and Tyreese. His, Maggie's and Glenn's after Beth.
"What happened?" If anyone else had walked in, they'd probably have never believed it was his voice. He didn't believe it. Merle would be giving him hell for it. Her eyes darted to his, and her grip on his hand tightened.
"There were this married couple, Andrew and Oliver, and their kid, Anna. Real sweet, curious. Never wanted to leave me and the other leader Kai alone. Some twins, Danica and Ben. Danica and Andrew were hotheads, reminded me of Merle, just less bigotted," They shared a chuckle at that. Daryl didn't need to say anything to her for her to know her brother-in-law was gone. She'd seen it on his face when she mentioned him earlier. After all this time, she could still read him like a book. "Kai was my best friend. Felt like a sibling. They were military, stopped me and mom from going into the city. We were gonna keep looking for you but Anna got sick. Really sick. For three weeks, we went out looking for medicine and she'd go through it in days."
Hell, he'd almost forgot about the disease that spread through the prison. Nearly killed Glenn. Awful as it seemed, it didn't that important anymore. Pretty much everyone that was sick died to the governor anyway. Didn't matter. Not really
"When she didn't get better, her dad's asked me to put her down. I was going to do it in the evening, in case she passed, but I decided to wait until morning. Died in her sleep. Turned quickly. We lost Andrew and Danica," Daryl squeezed her hand but she didn't respond. Her eyes were unfocused, but he saw the sadness flickering in them. The shame and guilt. That's why she was watching Carl and Judith earlier. "We were in the woods for a while. Me, mom, Andrew, Kai and Ben, lived that old Dixon lifestyle," She teased, in a poor attempt to lighten the mood. But he saw past it. She was holding something back to stop him from worrying.
"Then what?" She just shook her head, and Daryl pulled her in, tucking her head under his chin again. Not yet. He'd wait as long as she needed. They didn't need words for him to understand. (Y/N) let out a small sigh of contentment and Daryl resisted a smile. He'd lost hope in finding her. Thought he'd never get to hold her like this again. And before he knew it, he was telling her everything. But when he got to Terminus, she froze and pulled back.
"You were at Terminus?" (Y/N)'s voice was laced with concern and confusion, and it took Daryl half a second to connect the dots. His eyebrows rose into his hairline, which made (Y/N) laugh slightly."I was there for three days. Fuckers tried to kill me but I put up a fight. That freak Gareth locked me in a room so I didn't 'scare the newcomers'. An explosion and some walker's guts got me out."
"Ya gotta be shittin' me, right?" Daryl laughed, genuinely laughed, and he swore he'd never seen so much elation on his girl's face. "Carol set off that explosion, got us out."
(Y/N) leant her forehead on his shoulder, smiling at the ridiculousness of the situation. The whole time, he thought she was so far away, or that she was gone, or dead, or bitten but she was right fucking there at Terminus. If he'd paid more attention, maybe he could've found her. Fucking idiot.
"Hey, where ya goin'?" Daryl asked, catching (Y/N)'s arm as she started to climb out of the sleeping bag they'd been sharing. It'd taken a while for Daryl to convince the group to let her stay with them. They didn't trust her, and he couldn't blame them, but he wasn't going to be separated from <i>any</i> of his family. Neither her nor them. Eventually, Rick had nodded, despite Sasha and Abraham (mostly - Rosita and Carl hadn't exactly been happy about it either).
"Aiden and Nicholas want to take Glenn, Tara and Noah on a dry run, I gotta go with them to make sure they don't do something dumb," (Y/N) replied, pulling on her jumper but Daryl narrowed his eyes slightly.
"Careful, (L/N), that's ma family yer talkin' 'bout," He shot back, sharper than he wanted. However, she was taking a dig at his family when she barely knew shit about them. She just chuckled and rolled her eyes, coming closer to press a kiss on his forehead.
"Not your family, dummy. Nicolas and Aiden. They both hate me because I called them careless. Among other things. And they are. They don't know anything about life out there. If these walls hadn't come up when they had, those boys would have died long ago. Almost everyone here would have," She replied. He watched her carefully, giving her a look that she couldn't recognise. He was still getting used to this new version of her. Trying to get to know her again. She wasn't that different, not really, but she was slightly colder towards others and seemed to have a shorter fuse where unbreakable patience used to be. Well, unbreakable unless you were Merle. Some undying rage never left her eyes. She was still her old self, but she'd changed. It made him wonder what she'd been through. What she wouldn't tell him the day before.
"Why'd ya stay if this place ain't secure?" Daryl asked, pulling her slightly closer. Then he saw it. That look flashed across her face. It was gone almost as soon as it came, but he'd caught it. Guilt was ripping through her, despite how much she hid it. Why was she guilty? What was she hiding?
"Why'd you?" (Y/N) responded quickly, and even with this new version of her, he still knew her well enough to know she was changing the topic. And she did too, as evident from her heavy sigh. "I had a promise to keep."
There was more to it than that, Daryl could see it so clearly it was practically slapping him in the face. But he knew pushing wouldn't get them anywhere.
"People here are weak. Carol and the kid think it too. Hell, I do. Glad yer goin' with 'em," He gave her a quick kiss, running his thumb over her ring. "Keep an eye on 'em for me."
"Of course," (Y/N) smiled back, and from the surprise on Deanna's face when she walked in to check on them, not that he'd cared enough to notice at first, it wasn't something that had happened often while she was here.
"And you keep yourself safe, ya hear?" Daryl demanded, and while it was firm, (Y/N) saw the glimmer of fear in his eye. Can't lose her again. The words went unspoken but she heard them. A hard squeeze of his hand and a kiss on the cheek, and she'd wandered out the door, Glenn, Tara and Noah trailing close behind.
Time seemed to drag out while they were gone. It'd been around an hour, and he knew it shouldn't be too much longer before they returned. It was only a dry run. He'd finally showered, if only for his girl's sake than anyone else's, and he couldn't stop pacing. Carol had tried to employ his help, but he shut her down. With no news on a job from Deanna, Daryl couldn't stop himself from getting lost in his thoughts and drowning in his worries. His girl had said that the boys were careless. What if that cost her? What if him asking her to protect his friend meant she did something stupid? What if she didn't come back? What if he lost her again? For good, this time?
His worries were cut in half when the creaking and scratching of the gate broke through the air and he immediately jogged from his place on the porch to the gates, seeing the group come back in. They all looked pissed, and none of them more than (Y/N). She was walking in front of Glenn almost protectively, and he just knew something had gone wrong.
"You three need new gigs, you're not ready for runs yet," Aiden snapped from behind, making the four turn on their heels. Daryl felt himself moving forward when Aiden got close to (Y/N) and started pointing "And I'm gonna talk to my mom about getting you a new job."
"Yeah, pretty sure you got that backwards," Glenn shot back and (Y/N) gave him a grateful look. They set off again but were pulled back by Aiden grabbing both her and Glenn's arms.
"Hey, we've got a way of doing things around here," Aiden tried, making a poor attempt of establishing his authority, which deflated when she scoffed.
"Yeah, ones you don't tell me about apparently," She grumbled. There it was. That short fuse. That undying rage. Daryl slowed to a stop as more people started to gather at the noise. She looked over to him, telling him with a glance that he might have to step in if it got too far.
"You tied up walkers," Glenn shot back, and that set Aiden off. Nicolas bounced between each foot awkwardly, like he didn't know what to do with himself.
"It killed our friend!"Aiden shouted "Look, I'm not having this conversation. You obey my orders out there."
"Not when they put our people in danger," (Y/N) stepped closer, almost chest to chest with Aiden, and Daryl smirked slightly. That was his girl.
"If that's the case, we're just as screwed as your last run crew," Glenn agreed, putting a hand on (Y/N)'s shoulder to get her to back off. They shared a look, and she reluctantly took a step back. Glenn was trying to keep it peaceful, but he wasn't Aiden get away with this shit. Neither was (Y/N), except Daryl wasn't so sure about the peaceful part. Aiden shifted at Glenn's words, and Nicolas narrowed his eyes. Daryl took a step closer, shooting the latter man a warning glare.
"Say that again," Aiden stated, lightly shoving Glenn's chest. He brushed off the warning words of Noah and Tara, and both Glenn and Daryl could see that (Y/N) was barely holding her rage back. Glenn squeezed her shoulder lightly, clearly seeing it too. She was waiting for the right moment, but she was going to break any second. "C'mon tough guy."
Glenn just stared back at him, raising his eyebrows ever so slightly, and the expression pissed Aiden off even more. (Y/N) had to bite back a laugh. "No one's impressed, man. Walk away."
Someone had clearly alerted Deanna to the situation because she came running out, and (Y/N) rolled her eyes slightly at the woman. It was pretty damn clear she didn't like her. However, her expression softened slightly, and some of her anger dissipated when she saw Enid join the newly formed crowd, with Carl not far behind her.
"Aiden, what's going on?" Deanna asked, running over. Daryl saw Rick slowly making his way over with Michonne, and they were both observing too. The tension in the air was thick enough to cut and it felt stifling.
"These two have got a problem with the way we do things. Why did you let these people in? Why didn't you kick her out?" Daryl's eyes furrowed, and his glare settled. This asshole was really trying to get them thrown out? After the shit he'd just heard?
"Because we actually know what we're doing out there," Glenn immediately answered and he barely had time to dodge as Aiden swung for him, while Deanna shouted his name. However, (Y/N) immediately shot into action. The fury she'd been suppressing exploded out all at once, and she didn't hesitate to land a punch ride to Aiden's nose. She'd hit him with enough force to cause his nose to bleed, and Daryl felt a twisted sense of pride in his stomach.
"(Y/N)!" Enid yelled, and (Y/N) looked over to her in panic, scared someone had lunged for her. But while she was distracted, Nicolas had managed to get a hit in on her side, making her fall backwards slightly. Her eyes darkened and she went to attack him, but two arms latched around her waist and yanked her away from the fight. At some point, Aaron had come running towards the commotion and had snuck up behind her. He was trying to talk to her, to calm her down but she only saw red.
However, while the people had been distracted with (Y/N), apparently well-acquainted with her outbursts, no one had thought to stop Daryl. The second, Aiden lunged for Glenn, he was running at them, anger boiling inside of him, but then Nicolas dared to lay a hand on his girl and he felt like that day in the woods with Beth. When he couldn't stop his anger. It just flowed through him, and soon Nicolas had been pinned to the floor with Daryl's arm to his neck. Rick sprinted to them, shouting at him, but Daryl had tuned him out, eyes focusing on the son of a bitch below him. He felt arms yanking him away and he growled something (he couldn't even remember what he was so damn pissed) to, who he assumed was, Rick. Aiden stood up and went to walk towards (Y/N), which made her struggle slightly in Aaron's hold, until Michonne stepped in front, pushing him back.
"Back the fuck up, asshole," (Y/n) shouted, pulling in Aaron's arms, and Michonne narrowed her eyes at Aiden.
"You want to end up on your ass again?"She warned, staring him down until he backed up. After another minute, Rick finally made Daryl let up and Rick pushed him away slightly just for good measure. He was practically vibrating with anger, but he backed away, picking up his crossbow before walking to his girl. Aaron let her go hesitantly, and Daryl wrapped an arm around her waist, both to ground himself and to prevent her from going anywhere. He could feel the heat radiating over, and how pissed off she still was as she and Aiden glared at each other. Deanna stared at her for a minute, a look filled with scorn that nearly set Daryl off again. Aiden had taken the shot first, she couldn't blame his girl for shit.
"I want everyone to hear me, okay? Rick and his people are part of this community now and always as equals. Understood?"She shot a pointed look to her son, who looked away in shame as he wiped his nose, getting blood on the back of his hand. Daryl hid a smirk, despite the anger still stirring in his stomach. "Everyone turn in your weapons. Then you two come talk to me."
Deanna pulled Rick and Michonne to one side, and the pair watched for a second, as Glenn walked off with Maggie. Then, Daryl turned his girl to look at him, inspecting every inch of her to make sure she wasn't badly injured.
"Y'alrigh'?" Daryl questioned softly, placing one hand on her cheeks, which she leant into affectionately. It made his stomach do flips, and he was sure he was blushing but if he was, she didn't say anything. Made him feel like a damn teenager again. She placed her hand over his, touching his ring with a small reassuring smile.
"I'm all good, Dixon. Might have a bruise on my ribs, but I'll live," She replied and Daryl turned to look at Nicolas with a dark look. They were so caught up in themselves that they didn't notice Aaron watching them with a curious look. He was smiling softly. He hadn't been able to get much out of his friend when talking about her husband. She'd let a little slip when she, him and Eric got drunk during her first week, but she'd never told them his name, or anything deep. If she had, maybe he would've been able to reunite them sooner.
Everyone dispersed, with Aiden and Nicolas following Deanna back to her house. (Y/N) watched after them, glaring holes into the back of their heads.
"(Y/N, I know you're pissed off, but you have to quit the fighting. Deanna's going to kick you out if you aren't careful," Aaron warned, folding his arms over his chest, and Daryl's head snapped over furiously. However, (Y/N) turned to him with a face that told him she'd heard this a million times before.
"Fucker went for Glenn first. She just defended him," Daryl murmured and Aaron let out a deep sigh. Guess it wasn't just (Y/N) he had to watch out for now.
The next day, Daryl and (Y/N) had been moved into their own house, and while she was hesitant to leave Eric and Aaron, neither she nor Daryl could deny how nice it was to have their own privacy. It almost felt like life before the apocalypse. Well, besides the fact that this house was worth more than they ever could have afforded before the world went to shit. And they were missing a certain loud-mouthed idiot. Enid also technically lived there, but she was always in and out. One thing both he and his girl knew, was that he was suffocating in here. He hated not being out there. So when she suggested he go hunting, he was out of the door quicker than she could blink. He felt guilty leaving her behind, but she could manage her own, and she had her own jobs to do. Besides, Enid could keep her company. She'd be fine.
The bushes rustling made his crossbow shoot up. Daryl narrowed his eyes, trying to pick out if it was a person, walker or animal, but he quickly realised it was a human and his guard went up tenfold.
"Come out! Now!"He snarled, placing his finger on the trigger as the person began to emerge. Aaron. Son a bitch scared the shit out of him. Not that he'd admit it. He lowered his crossbow with a huff upon seeing the recruiters alarmed face. "Ain't ya supposed to be in Alexandria with Eric?"
"(Y/N)'s watching over him. You can tell the difference between walkers and humans by sound?" Daryl just grunted in response and Aaron studied him, as he checked the string of the crossbow. He wasn't as bad as he made himself out to be. He could see it in the way he acted with (Y/N) alone, and that wasn't even beginning on the rest of his family "Can you tell the difference between a good guy and a bad guy? Rick doesn't seem to be an expert at that."
"There ain't much of a difference no more," Daryl snapped back. What was with this guy? Didn't he know when to stop prying? Wasn't none of his business. Aaron didn't miss the way he squinted at him, or how his shoulders squared defensively.
"That how you feel about your people? About (Y/N)?" Aaron questioned. Daryl tensed slightly before continuing forward into the woods.
"Why ya following me?" Daryl snapped. If it had been anyone else, he probably would've been shouting by now. But Aaron was (Y/N)'s friend. He could talk about her like that. He meant no ill will. Others don't get the right. They didn't know her. They just expected the worst because he was some redneck. Expected her to be the same.
She was so much more.
"You ride horses?"Aaron asked, trying to lighten the situation. He'd really hoped he could save that horse. The kids had been asking him for weeks. At least he wasn't suffering anymore.
"I ride bikes," Daryl responded shortly. Aaron was kind, and he could see how his girl was friends with him. Why she trusted him. They'd taken care of her. Seen that pretty clearly yesterday with Aiden and Nicolas and stopping her from killing them. But everything felt too much still. He wasn't used to being somewhere like this. Even before everything. Even with his girl starting to bring him to the right path. Everything was just overwhelming. He knew Aaron was trying to help, to get to know him, but whether that was out of kindness or to stay on the good side of his girl, he still hadn't figured it out.
"I take it you don't mean 10-speeds," When Daryl didn't say anything, Aaron let out a small sigh. "I know you're feeling like an outsider. (Y/N) does too, even if she tries to deny it. It's not your fault, you know. Eric and I, we're still looked at as outsiders in a lot of ways. We've heard our fair share of well-meaning, but hilariously offensive things from some otherwise really nice men and women. And you should hear how they talk about (Y/N) sometimes. People are people. The more afraid they get, the more stupid they get. Fear shrinks the brain. They're scared of you and me for different reasons. They're less scared of me because they know me. It's less and less every day. So let them get to know you. You should go to Deanna's party tonight."
By that point, they'd both stopped. Daryl looked back at Aaron with disbelieving eyes. Like hell was he going to some dumb as shit party. People'd stare, whisper, ask questions. They did little else when he was around, normally.
" I got nothing to prove. I met a lot of bad people out here doing a lot of bad shit. They weren't afraid of nothin'," His eyes flashed back to Terminus. Glenn's terrified eyes. The rage in Rick's eyes. Carl's trembling in the storage container. His girl, who'd been so damn close that if he'd stopped for a second, he would have found her.
"Yeah, they were," Aaron replied, smiling at him slightly before walking past him.
"Yer goin'?" Daryl raised his eyebrows, and (Y/N) turned to smile at him. She didn't look herself. Actually no, she looked exactly like herself. But the old her. This wasn't the new, hardened, mildly terrifying new (Y/N). It felt alien. Almost wrong. But hell if she didn't look good, even if she was dressed up for a dumb ass party.
"I want to get to know your family. Besides, I need to prove a point to Deanna and her shithead sons. You sure you won't come?" She trailed over to him and admired him in the last rays of the sunset. He didn't want her to go. Didn't want her near Aiden, Nicolas or Deanna's other son, who he had the pleasure of not yet meeting. He'd only just gotten her back, and everyone wanted a piece of her. It was starting to piss him off.
Daryl just shook his head, moving some stray pieces of hair out of his eyes at the same time. "Naw. Maybe later."
(Y/N) nodded, before taking his hand, using the other to reach up and play with the ends of his hair. He squeezed her hand, a silent demand of her to stay.
"Never thought I'd see you with long hair, Dixon," She said absentmindedly and he snorted quietly. Sometimes it slipped his mind that the last time she'd seen him, he'd looked almost completely different.
"Watch yourself, (L/N)," He shot back, but there was no venom. Just a tender look in his eyes that was reserved for only her. She let out a quiet laugh and brought their joint hands up to kiss the back of his hand before letting go. Merle was right, the asshole. She did make him soft.
He watched the party from a distance, glancing through the window. Trying to get a look, trying to find the courage to go in. His girl or not, the idea of going in there made his skin crawl. Daryl wasn't a people person, it was pretty damn clear. He wished she'd stayed at home with him, but it did make his heart ache slightly knowing she was only going to try and connect with his family. She didn't get pissy about the fact he called them family, didn't judge, didn't expect them to trust her just because they were married. Just tried to connect with them
He let out a heavy sigh, cursing under his breath and turned around, beginning to head back home. Hell, he'd started calling it home now. Maybe it was being with her again, made him feel at home. Maybe he was getting used to this place. Not damn likely. As he was walking past Aaron and Eric's house, (Y/N)'s old home, the light on the porch switched on, and Aaron walked outside
"Daryl. Hey," Aaron greeted, and Daryl resisted a sigh. Sure, he was nice but it was becoming clearer and clearer that this was about him trying to get to know him for (Y/N). But thinking about it, that was exactly what his girl was doing with his family. Goddamn it.
"Thought you were going to that party over there," Daryl responded, leaning against the fence.
"Oh, I was never going to go 'cause of Eric's ankle, thank God," Aaron smiled, looking relieved and Daryl furrowed his eyebrows
"Why the hell did you tell me to go, then?"He snapped, feeling a little guilty by the outburst until he saw the amused (but oddly proud?) look the other man was giving him.
"I said try. You did. It's a thought that counts thing," How long had this guy spent with (Y/N)? Starting to sound just like her.
"All right," Daryl mumbled, pushing off from the fence to walk away until Aaron's voice stopped him again.
"Hey, come in. Have some dinner. Come on, man. It's some pretty serious spaghetti," Aaron offered. Daryl turned to face him, sure he'd see a teasing look on his face. Expecting it to be a joke. But there was a hopeful look on Aaron's face along with a small grin. Yeah, he was starting to see why (Y/N) liked him so much. He hesitated, biting his lip nervously for a second, before walking back to the house. Aaron's grin widened, but Daryl pretended like he hadn't seen anything.
Apart from a greeting from Eric, the three men mostly sat in silence, digging into the spaghetti. Daryl knew he should probably be more aware of how he was eating, he was slurping and he probably looked like a pig (if (Y/N) was there she'd be giving him hell for it), but he'd stopped caring. And while Aaron and Eric shared an occasional muffled laugh, they didn't seem too bothered. Daryl couldn't help but notice the empty two settings on the remaining chairs, and apparently, Eric had followed his gaze.
"We're still getting used to (Y/N) being gone. Enid too. She didn't live with us, but she stayed here a lot because of (Y/N). Guess we still haven't gotten out of the habit of setting their seats," Eric joked lightly, and Daryl made a grunt of acknowledgement.
"Mmm, when you're out there, if you happen to be in a store or something, Mrs Neudermyer is really looking for a pasta maker. And we're all really trying to get her to shut up about it. I mean, we have crates of dried pasta in here, but she wants to make her own or something," Eric seemed oblivious to the pointed looks Aaron was giving him, and the confused one that Daryl seemed to have etched onto his face. Eric was more bubbly than Aaron, more talkative, but still sweet. He didn't expect responses from Daryl, happy to just talk away. Maybe (Y/N)'s friends weren't too bad " I really think she just wants something to talk about, so... if you see one out on your travels, it would go a long way to..."
Finally, Eric looked over to his husband, seeing him shaking his head and his words died on his tongue. Looking awkwardly between Daryl and Aaron before settling on his pasta, a small apologetic smile on his face
"I thought it was done. You didn't ask him already?" As if she'd heard Eric's silent plea to be rescued from the mild embarrassment of the situation, the sound of the door opening made Aaron and Daryl shoot up until they heard (Y/N)'s voice following.
"Aaron? Eric? You home?" She called, sounding tired, and Aaron let out a relieved sigh, before calling her into their dining room. Daryl couldn't help but smile as she walked in. It still felt like she wasn't real. Like she'd disappear any day and he'd wake up in that barn, or on the road, starving and dehydrated. She grinned back at him, but she didn't miss the teasing wink Eric gave her. "Hey, Dixon. What're you doing here?"
"We invited him for the infamous killer spaghetti," Eric grinned at her, nudging her hip with his shoulder as she walked to stand between his seat and Daryl. Instinctively, Daryl took her hand, and she bit back a child-like grin. Aaron gave her a look, one he couldn't recognise but she clearly did as she glared back at him playfully.
"You told him yet?" She asked, turning slightly to look at Aaron properly, nodding her head towards Daryl slightly. Daryl's confusion only furthered. Why did everyone seem to know what was going on except him? Hell, he was willing to bet if Enid was here too then she'd probably know.
"Was just about to, but <i>someone</i> nearly let the cat out of the bag," Eric looked away guiltily, but it was obvious he was forcing back a chuckle.
"Tell me what?" Daryl finally spoke up, and he didn't miss the way her hand tightened around his. Her grin turned slightly mischievous as Aaron started leading them towards their garage. Aaron opened the door and (Y/N) squeezed Daryl's hand again (and if she saw his cheeks starting to go pink, she didn't say anything) while her friend flicked the light on.
The garage was stuffed with spare parts and something that looked suspiciously like a motorbike beneath a piece of huge sheet. (Y/N) let go of his hand, opting instead to lean in the doorway, smiling softly at the excitement that flickered in her husband's eyes, even if his face stayed stoic. It'd been so damn long since he'd seen something like this, and while it reminded him a little too much of Merle's biker buddies, this also felt like home. He felt like a kid in a candy store. Aaron and (Y/N) shared a knowing look behind Daryl's back
"When I got the place, there was that frame and some parts and equipment. Whoever lived here built them," Aaron explained, as Daryl started picking up pieces, admiring them and putting them down again.
"It's a lot of parts for one bike," Daryl stated, trying to hide how happy he was, and he could practically hear (Y/N) rolling her eyes
"Whenever I came across any parts out there, I brought them back. I didn't know what I'd need. (Y/N) tried to figure it out, but it wasn't her area of expertise," There was a teasing tone in his voice at the last sentence and Daryl heard his girl mumble something along the lines of 'shut up. "I always thought I'd learn how to do it, but I get the feeling you already know what to do with it. And the thing is, you're going to need a bike."
"Why?"Daryl pulled back the sheet and saw the skeleton of a bike, with a box of tools next to it.
"I told Deanna not to give you a job because I think I have one for you. I'd like you to be Alexandria's other recruiter. I don't want Eric risking his life anymore," Aaron replied. Daryl understood that, probably better than most people in this community. (Y/N) let out a hum of agreement, and Daryl looked over as she turned to glance back into the house. She was protective of her loved ones. Always had been, and he was really starting to realise just how much Aaron and Eric meant to her.
"You want me risking mine, right?"Daryl questioned, sounding sharper than he wanted, but Aaron could tell he meant no harm by it.
"Yeah, because you know what you're doing. You're good out there. But you don't belong out there. I know it's hard getting used to people getting used to you. And I understand right now you need to be out there sometimes. So do I. But the main reason why I want you to help me recruit is because you do know the difference between a good person and a bad person, "Hell, he really had spent too much time with his girl. Daryl bit his lip in thought, but he already knew his mind was made up. Being in here all the time was killing him. Even with his girl here, he knew he couldn't stay here for long without getting antsy.
"I got nothing else to do. Thanks. I'll get you some rabbits," Aaron let out a loud laugh at that, patting Daryl's shoulder as he stepped past him, back to his girl in the doorway. She was smiling, asking him silently how he was feeling. He just gave her a tiny smile, and clearly, that was enough for her, as she wrapped her arm around his side.
Daryl couldn't help but notice how close (Y/N) had suddenly gotten with Glenn, Rick, Tara and Maggie. He noticed the way the rest of his family seemed a little more at ease with her, not exactly trusting her yet, but clearly getting on that track. Carl still wasn't sure about her, but Daryl didn't miss how he'd come and actually started conversations with her a few times, instead of avoiding her completely. Part of him was suspicious that it had something to do with his obvious crush on Enid. And while it made his heart warm that she was starting to become integrated with his family, there was always someone whisking her away now. He just wanted to spend some damn time with his wife, but he had to go out with Aaron, and she was going on another run.
And every damn thing that could have gone wrong absolutely did. It'd been a god damn trap, and now he was trapped in a car, surrounded by fuck knows how many walkers with his wife best friend. And the walkers just kept coming, pouring out of the trucks, banging on the window. How fucking long until that glass shattered and they were made into walker meat? But despite the hell going on around him, he couldn't stop a chuckle escaping his lips. It was fucking ironic. Aaron gave him a bewildered look.
"I came out here to not feel all closed up back there. Even now, this feels more like me than back in them houses. That's pretty messed up, huh?" Daryl explained, looking over at Aaron, who still had that look, but had a small, almost sad, smile on his lips.
"You were trying," Aaron said, and Daryl shook his head lightly. Wasn't exactly a choice. There were the kids, his friends, his family. Then (Y/N) got added into the mix, and that was it.
"I had to," He shot back, eyes watching the walkers that were gnashing their teeth outside the window.
"No, you didn't. Listen, I saw you with your group out there on the road. Then you went off on your own to the barn. Storm hit and you lead your people to safety. That was it. I knew I had to bring you people back," Aaron had this gentle look, and he went quiet, thinking for a second. When he spoke again his voice was thick "You were right. We should have kept looking for that guy in the poncho. I shouldn't have given up. You didn't."
Daryl went silent, pulling a cigarette out of his pocket and lighting it. He'd given up. On his girl. Given up on her, lost hope started thinking she was dead. And look at what happened.
"I didn't, because I gave up before," It didn't take a genius to figure out what, or rather who he was talking about "Hadn't seen her in two years. Thought she was dead. Found 'er. Ain't givin' up this time. I'll go. I'll lead 'em out. You make a break for the fence."
God, she was going to kill him for this.
Aaron's head snapped over, the beginning of tears in his eyes quickly disappearing as he processed Daryl's words. "No, no, no. This was my fault."
"Wasn't a question. And this ain't yer decision. It ain't nobody's fault. Just let me finish my smoke first. Promise you'll look after ma girl, 'right?" Daryl brought the cigarette back to his lips, taking a draw. He ignored Aaron' stare, his leg bouncing lightly. This'd destroy her. But, she had people to look after. And people would look after her for him. His family would be there, Aaron, Eric, Enid. She'd forget about him after a while.
"No," Aaron said sternly, and Daryl was almost taken back by the tone. Never heard him talk like that. "You don't draw them away. We fight. We go for the fence. We do it together, alright? Whether we make it or not. We do it together. We have to."
Daryl fell back into that silence, biting his lip in thought. (Y/N) would probably never forgive him if he let Aaron die. But she'd never forgive Aaron if he did. Fuck. Shit.
"Alright. You ready?" Daryl took one last drag before extinguishing the cigarette and picking up his knife instead. Hell, he couldn't believe he was agreeing to this. Sorry (L/N) "We'll go on three. One, two-"
But three never came as one of the walkers outside's guts spilt on Aaron's window, making them both freeze and exchange a puzzled look. There was no gunshot. The dead didn't kill their own. His door was suddenly yanked open, making Aaron scuttle back and lean on Daryl slightly, before he saw a guy standing there, holding a badass staff. He climbed out, followed immediately by Daryl. Everything was a blur of guts, blood and aching muscles until they got back to the gate and closed it. He was pretty sure he was just running on adrenaline at this point
"Hey, Daryl?" Aaron said breathlessly and Daryl looked over to see him smiling "Take care of her your damn self."
They got back just in time to see all hell had broken loose. The sound of shouting and screaming greeted them as Spencer let them through the gate, and Aaron had gone sprinting ahead, followed soon by Daryl and Morgan. Daryl's heart was pounding, worried (Y/N) was in the middle of it. Shit, shit, shit, shit. (Y/N) and Abraham were holding Pete down as he squirmed and glared up at them. And there on the floor, Deanna was crying, begging while she pressed against the slice on Reg's neck. Alexandrian's watched in terror, and horror as he choked on his own blood, and Daryl didn't miss the look in (Y/N)'s eyes, beneath all the fear and rage. A look he knew too well. She was reliving something. He only wished he knew what. It was then Daryl noticed Michonne's bloody katana on the floor, where Michonne herself looked at it with disgust. Rick was stood beside Abraham and (Y/N), watching Deanna with pity, but waiting for her instruction as Reg ultimately stopped moving. The air was silent, still, and he could see Aaron bouncing slightly from foot to foot, desperate to check up on his husband as Morgan watched with disdain.
One bullet, and it was done, blood splattered on (Y/N) and Abraham's faces. But she didn't even flinch. Just stared blankly. When they got back to their house, Enid, who'd allegedly been told to stay in the house but snuck out (in Enid like fashion) was wrapped under (Y/N)'s arm. She looked scared still, and Daryl had tried to comfort her, even if it hadn't been much, until (Y/N) had been relieved from the situation and took over. She was like a mini carbon copy of his girl, with the addition of teen angst, but she was easy to talk to (even when she was traumatised). His girl still had that blank look, had it since Rick pulled that trigger, and somehow that scared him more. She ushered Enid to her room, and Daryl knew she would either leave within a few minutes, or she wouldn't move until morning. But Enid didn't protest, just gave (Y/N) a quick hug and rushed upstairs.
His girl was still silent, as they reached their room, as they started changing into their pyjamas, as she went off to brush her teeth and wash the blood off her face, as they climbed into bed. It wasn't until Daryl reached out to touch her and she flinched back, did he attempt to break the silence.
"(Y/N)," He mumbled, and she raised her eyebrows to show she was listening but didn't meet his eyes. His stomach was in a knot, worry, nerves and interest as he watched her. "Hey, look at me."
It took her a minute, but reluctantly, she dragged her eyes up to meet his and he saw it. Guilt, anxiety and trauma all wrapped in one.
"Talk to me," Was all he said, and that was all it took. It was spilling out of her before she could stop it, and her hand found him desperately.
"After Anna, Ben, Andrew, Kai, Mom and I were chased out. Moved camp every day. Didn't know where we were going, just kept moving. One night, we were distracted. Ben was talking about smoke or something, and Kai started sayin' how we should go towards Washington. Said it was one of the few places that might have civilisation. We let out guard down," (Y/N) hesitated again, and Daryl squeezed her hand tightly, prompting her to continue. Every word she spoke, the sadder her eyes grew. The guilt kept building and building, and Daryl felt his own pit of dread in his stomach. She was in pain and there was nothing he could do about it. "Some assholes come out of the woods, demand our supplies. I said no and they... they shot Kai. Then Ben and Andrew. Started going through our stuff, held me back as they murdered my family. Then they grabbed mom and-"
Daryl didn't hesitate in pulling her in when her voice hitched and she stopped again. He held her so tight, he was almost certain it was hurting, but she didn't voice any complaints. She just curled into him before continuing.
"Those bastards slit her throat. I had to put her down when she turned. Left me in the middle of the woods. When Reg... I just saw mom. It was like I was back there, reliving again and again on repeat. And I can't help but think that if I'd stepped forward, maybe Reg would be alive," She whispered, fingers clutching onto the sleep shirt he wore. He shook his head, placing a kiss on her hair.
"And you'd be dead. Ain't yer fault. None of it. Not yer ma and yer family. Not Reg. Weren't nothin' you coulda done. Ya cain't blame yerself for it," Daryl said, and while his tone was gentle, the words were firm but they seemed to do nothing to ease her, she just held on tighter. "I know that ain't everythin'. What happened?"
"We lost Noah. He was right there. We had him, and then he was just gone. Glenn and I, we held onto him so hard, but the walkers they- they got him. Pushed him against the glass. We had to watch-" It was then Daryl felt her pull back and she adjusted so her arms were wrapped around him, tucked under his chin again when he pulled her close.
"I'm sorry," He didn't know what else to say. Noah was gone. That kid was something else, annoying sometimes, sure, but he brought this hopeful light to the group, even when they were damn near dying on the road. He found his brain starting to ache and a weird feeling in his chest. Daryl was well acquainted with loss, everyone was now, but it never got any easier. Not when the losses kept coming, and to the people who deserved them the least. He couldn't imagine how terrifying it must have been to watch. What it was like for her. He didn't want to. The thought alone was enough to give him nightmares. So he just held her tightly, even as he felt a wet patch seeping through his sleep shirt. Even as she shook. Even as she drifted off, exhausted and hurting, and he laid awake for hours after. He couldn't make it okay, even if he wanted to. And hell he really did. He couldn't bring Noah back, couldn't wipe the memory from her or Glenn's mind.
The only thing he could do was be there for her, comfort her, help her out of that place whenever she went there. However, the only thing he could do, right at that moment, was hold her and not let go.
TAGS: OPEN
Tags (for this series): @graniairish @fuseburner @gloomystorm @bxxbxy @browneyes528 @hoemadegrace @reichelhache
#phoebe writes#blame me#daryl dixon x reader#daryl dixon imagine#daryl dixon#daryl dixon x y/n#carl grimes#enid twd#sasha williams#noah twd#merle dixon#lori grimes#rick grimes#glenn rhee#maggie rhee#maggie greene#beth greene#Carol Peletier#father gabriel#judith grimes#abraham ford#y/n#the walking dead#twd#michonne twd#eugene porter#rosita espinosa#tara chambler#Hershel Greene#aaron twd
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could u probably write one where h is dating a girl that’s a lil curvy? (You can look up someone like julia kelly and katya elise henry on ig/tumblr if u wanna know) and she gets a lot of comparisons from a few of his friends and fans, it kinda brings her down a bit bc idk man I’m a bit curvy too but i get so insecure sometimes knowing that people could be so judgmental but i know harry would love his girl no matter what 🥺❤️
Word Count: 2.2k
Warnings: smut-ish (at the end)
Something was off with Y/N. Harry had known this for the past few days. It wasn’t that she’d been acting completely different, just so much so that being the caring and attentive person that he is, Harry had picked up on it.
At first, it was turning down second helpings at dinner. He didn’t think much of it aside from giving her the side-eye, because it was her favorite meal that Harry only cooked for her on special occasions. Next, it was her offering to pleasure him in the morning with her mouth instead of letting him take care of them both. Again, it was odd for her to turn down early morning sex, but he’d assumed she was just tired. Then came the nights when Y/N refused to sleep naked. Harry and Y/N always slept without clothes on, Harry claiming that it was just one more layer keeping them apart, which he hated. Again, he thought it was weird, but the weather had been particularly nipply lately so he’d chalked it up to her simply getting chilly throughout the night and needing the extra warmth.
The last and final straw, the whistle-blower that tied all of her off-kilter behaviors together, came to Harry when Y/N was in the shower. She was rinsing off after dinner, which she had only picked at anxiously with her fork without actually eating much of, and Harry was cleaning up the kitchen and living room to prepare for the movie night they had planned. When Harry went to move Y/N’s open laptop from the coffee table, he accidentally woke up the screen, and what he saw puzzled him to no end. It was an article pulled up on her browser, one from a tabloid company titled, “Reasons Why Y/N is Harry Styles’ Best Girlfriend.” The article was filled with photos of not only him and Y/N but of him and his past girlfriends as well. The point was to prove how much happier Harry looked with Y/N as opposed to his exes, but Harry was peeved regardless. Sure, some of these women had done him wrong in the past and left him feeling absolutely gutted, but he hated seeing them being put up against each other in this fashion.
Only adding to his frustration, the next tab over from the article was twitter account that Y/N and Harry had made one drunken night in order to spy on his fans and have a good laugh at how funny some of his followers were. They logged on and scrolled through the tweets together occasionally, but the tweets pulled up on the screen were all about Y/N’s body rather than jokes about how badly they wanted Harry to run them over with his car or memes made out of the horrid candids people had taken of him on stage. They claimed that Y/N was better than Camille because she “actually has an ass,” and that Taylor could never pull off a dress like the one Y/N wore on New Year's Eve because she didn’t have the right curves like Y/N did. Again, not necessarily negative comments, but this coupled with the other article Y/N had been looking at was enough for Harry to comprehend what was happening here.
It didn’t take much for Harry to put it all together, and it broke his heart when he did. She was comparing herself to the other girls Harry had been with. He wasn’t stupid. He knew what people said about Y/N and he knew very well that she looked much different than the other girls he typically went for. People certainly picked up on Harry’s “type,” seeing as he was always a hot topic for the press. Therefore when Y/N came along, everyone had tons to say on the matter. He avoided the comments as much as he could, but it was clear that Y/N was unable to say the same.
In the midst of planning how Harry would approach her on the subject, Y/N emerged from the top of the stairs and made her way over to the couch, dressed in an oversized shirt of Harry’s and a pair of her favorite underwear. Harry quickly closed her laptop and moved it into the kitchen as if he hadn’t just been snooping through her browser history.
“Alright,” she huffed as she plopped down onto the plush cushions of the sofa, wet hair sticking to the nape of her neck, “What’re we watching tonight?”
“Dunno,” Harry pondered, “Should we just search romantic comedies on Netflix and see what we find?”
“You know me too well, bubby,” she sighed contently.
A smile tugged at the corners of Harry’s mouth at the nickname she’d used. She appeared to be in a good mood, so he decided not to push his luck and try talking to her another day.
“Ye’ want some popcorn? Bought a new box at the store yesterday.”
“Uhh, no. I think I’m good. Still pretty full from dinner.”
You hardly touched your dinner, Harry thought to himself. He nodded (extremely hesitantly) at his girlfriend before situating his own self on the sofa next to her.
They settled on some independent film they knew they’d both hate, but that was the fun of it. Cracking jokes about how bad the acting was or about how inconsistent the main character’s accent was was almost more fun to Harry than watching a film that was actually good, which was why they ended up watching shitty, low budget ones on their designated, weekly movie nights.
Nearly halfway through the film, Harry absentmindedly slid his arm that was draped around her waist down to reach for Y/N’s thigh to place over his lap. He loved cuddling her this way, which their bodies morphed together and their legs intertwined under the coziest blanket in his house. Y/N loved it too, so Harry was shocked, but up until recently, not surprised, when she quickly pulled her leg away from Harry’s grip and off of his lap.
“Wha’s wrong? Ye’ don’t want to cuddle wi’ me?”
“What do you mean? I am cuddling with you?”
Harry huffed dramatically and rolled his eyes at his girlfriend’s feigned ignorance.
“Ye’ know exactly what I mean, baby. And it’s not just that. You’ve been acting weird lately. I know ye’ think I haven’t noticed, but I have. Ye’ don’t eat as much at dinner anymore, ye’ sleep with a t-shirt on. Ye’ don’t even want me touchin’ ye’ right now. Plus, I saw what was pulled up on your laptop while ye’ were in the shower. I’m not dumb, Y/N. Just wish you’d talk t’ me about it’s all.”
Y/N felt the embarrassment creep up her chest and spread to her neck. Her cheeks burned hot as she stared directly into his emerald green eyes that were begging, pleading for her to open up to him and tell him why she’d been so clearly obsessed with her appearance as of late. She’d had no idea that she’d even made a pattern out of her behaviors must less that Harry had picked up on them.
“I-...Harry....I don’t want to talk about this right now,” her voice barely came over a whisper.
“Well, I do. What is it? Ye’ think your too big f’ me or somethin’?”
Y/N sighed frustratingly in Harry’s direction.
“It’s not that. Not entirely anyway. It’s hard to explain. You’ll think it’s stupid.”
She tried not to look at Harry, but his burning gaze made it impossible to tear her eyes away.
“Baby, nothing ye’ say or feel is stupid. Talk t’ me.”
He placed his ringed hand on her kneecap. She was hesitant to not pull away from his touch, but she tried her best to relax against his grip.
“It’s just that...I don’t....look like the other girls you’ve been with,” Y/N chewed her bottom lip anxiously as soon as the words left her mouth.
Harry still didn’t see her point.
“So?” he questioned, “There’s a reason why I’m not with ‘em anymore.”
“I’m just...I see all of these comments about what people say about me...about us and it makes me feel weird.”
“Weird? Like wha’?”
“Weird like I don't really see why you’re even with me, H. I am the polar opposite of all of your exes.”
Harry had half a mind to be angry with Y/N for more or less accusing him of not loving her when that couldn’t have been further from the truth, but he was able to see things from her side and keep his urges to himself. He knew exactly what it was like to be under constant scrutiny from the press, but she didn’t. She didn’t ask for this, she didn’t deserve this, and she certainly shouldn’t be feeling the way she’s feeling right now.
“Baby,” Harry cooed her, “Wha’ever it is that ye’ read or wha’ever ye’ thinkin’, ‘ts not true. I swear on me mum that you’re the girl I want t’ spend forever with. Ye’ don’t have to change anything about ye’self to get me t’ love ye’ any more than I already do.”
“But-”
“But nothing,” Harry interrupted, “Promise me ye’ won’t read that rubbish anymore. And promise you’ll stop hidin’ ye’self from me, too.”
Y/N nodded slowly, feeling the tension built up in her shoulders slowly dissipating into thin air. Harry was her favorite person in the world, and hearing that from him meant everything. Of course, she’d still have her moments when she’d feel like she wasn’t good enough, but everyone had those.
“Good,” Harry leaned over to press a chaste kiss over her forehead, “Now give me a proper cuddle.”
He leaned over to grab her by the waist and hoisted her up completely on top of him.
“Harry, no!” Y/N sheepishly exclaimed through embarrassed giggles.
“Y/N, yes!” Harry taunted her as he made them both comfortable on the sofa once more.
He pulled the blanket up over their shoulders and wrapped his arms securely around her back so that he could pet her spine whilst they finished the movie. She nestled into Harry’s shoulder and breathed in his scent that lingered on his fitted, white t-shirt. Twenty minutes ago, she’d have felt like she was crushing Harry under her weight, but not now. She felt at peace knowing Harry loved her for who she was.
As movie nights typically go with Harry, he started to get quite handsy towards the end of the film. He was starting to shift about the sofa and his palms were navigating towards the supple skin of Y/N’s bum. At first, it was a comforting hand slipping in between the hemline of her panties and just resting there against her bare skin, but soon turned into Harry kneading teasing, firm motions on her ass. His lips had found their way to the sensitive patch of her neck, sucking and tugging the area lazily, but still intense enough to mark her up.
“Angel,” Harry beckoned when he was able to pull his lips away from her momentarily.
Y/N hummed in response, too intoxicated from the tingling sensation caused by Harry’s tongue mouthing at her throat.
“Sit up f’ me,” Harry demanded, his voice dripping with lust and desire.
She did as she was told, sitting up so she was still straddling Harry’s chest as she looked down at him. Harry kept a close grip on Y/N’s thighs as he slid further down the couch and his face was now inches away from her core.
“Harry, what’re you-”
“Shh,” Harry’s eyes were blown out and glassy as he switched from looking into her eyes and the damp patch that was slowly but surely forming at the front of her cotton panties.
“Just let me love on ye’ for a bit. Come closer t’ me.”
He tried tugging her thighs so that she’d sit down a bit more against him, but she tensed up.
“But I don’t want to-”
“Ye’ not gonna crush me or wha’ever it is that ye’ worried about.”
“I might,” she mumbled to herself.
Her self-depreciation caused Harry to nip the inside of her bare thigh with his teeth, which made her jerk in response.
“Hey!” she scolded.
Harry took advantage of her moment of disorientation and kissed her heat over the front of her panties so that he could taste the juices that had accumulated there. Her chuckles quickly died down into moans when she felt the beginnings of his stubble graze the part of her body where she’d always needed Harry the most.
“Ye’ gonna listen t’ me now, pet?” Harry asked as he replaced his lips with his thumb, where he began rubbing tantalizingly slow circles against her clothed clit.
“Mhmmm,” Y/N mewled.
“Though so,” Harry finished off with his infamous cheeky smirk.
She settled down properly onto Harry’s face, hovering just over his plump, shining lips until he was ready to taste her again. When he pulled her panties to the side and latched onto her dripping, wet core, she sank even further down against Harry’s tongue, eager to feel him in every possible nook and cranny that he could reach. He drank from her like he’d never wanted anything else in his all of his days.
Y/N had no doubt in her mind that at this moment, Harry was being honest when he said that she was the only person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.
#harry styles one shot#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles imagine#harry styles x reader#harry styles smut#harry styles fluff#harry styles angst#asks
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and then there was one
Okay so I once had this thought that completely, absolutely shattered my heart. And, like the amazing person I am, I’m going to be putting it into words and sharing my heartbreak with you all. I don’t want to give too much away here, but it has to do with the bond shared between twins :) (no, it is not twincest)
Characters: Miya Atsumu, Miya Osamu, Kita Shinsuke, Suna Rintarou, Hinata Shouyo, Aran Ojiro (some smatterings of Atsukita and Osasuna).
Warnings/Tags: angst. Just angst. Fluff if you squint? Swearing, death. Only a little bit of plot. Throwing up mentioned at one point. Post-timeskip spoilers ig?
A/N at end <3
⠀
⠀
Atsumu and Osamu Miya have always had an inexplicable connection.
Some shred of the universe decided that they would be borne of the same flesh and blood, that everything they had would be shared with one another - from their lives and experiences, all the way down to their face.
And maybe it’s silly, to think that anything other than coincidence made them brothers, twins, but the way they so perfectly melded together, two halves of the same whole, was far too special to have been left up to chance.
Well, maybe it wasn't always perfect. In fact, it was less than. But within imperfections lies the completeness many chase in life, the very same that the Miyas were fortunate enough to be born with already in their possesion.
As babies, Atsumu and Osamu would cry when separated, and never quell until their twin was once again in their presence. From the very beginning they had been pressed up against one another in an uncomfortable proximity, yet it was this that provided the most ease. In a brand new, scary, and cold world much different from the one they had grown in, they were each others pillars - the sources of comfort and familiarity that could only be found with one another and was necessary for their trudge through life.
Even as they aged, the fact remained that they were each others constant. Even as they grew and sprouted into wholly different beings with different hearts and passions, they still stuck to each others’ sides
The Miya twins.
When one fell, the other was there to pick them back up again.
When one strayed too far, the other was there to drag them back and set them straight.
When one changed and grew, the other was changing and growing right alongside them.
Even when they grated on each others nerves, when they bickered and brawled, when they fought so bad they swore they would never again talk to each other, they never left. They’d always quietly return with unspoken apologies perfectly understood, and everything was right.
They were two sides of the same coin, after all.
⠀
As adults, Osamu and Atsumu had parted physically, but were always still together. Osamu opened an Onigiri shop in Hyogo, while Atsumu had moved to the professional leagues of volleyball, and was based in Osaka. They shared calls often, visits occasionally, but even if they went weeks or months without talking, they always knew they’d see each other again.
There was no doubt in their minds. They knew that even while chasing their own dreams, their twin was right there with them. Atsumu knew that Osamu was sitting in front of a tv during each of the games he couldn't attend physically, watching and cheering for him. Osamu knew that in Osaka, Atsumu was bragging to his friends about Onigiri Miya and Osamu’s cooking skills, claiming that the next time they went to Hyogo they all needed to visit his brothers shop and get food there so everyone can taste for themselves Osamu’s wonderful cooking.
And when Atsumu stood on a platform in front of a small crowd of friends and family, vowing to love and cherish his now husband, Kita Shinsuke, Osamu was right there with a smile on his face and pride in his heart.
Even when Osamu and Suna’s little family expanded from two to three, Atsumu was there, greeting his niece and helping look after her while the new parents finally got some sleep.
It was the kind of love and bond that couldn't be forged, that couldn’t be recreated by people who met at some point along the paths in their lives. The connection Atsumu and Osamu shared was created when they were, was born with them, and has stuck ever since.
⠀
Atsumu stretched languidly with his teammates in their training gym in Osaka.
The golden haired setter had his phone at his side, fidgeting slightly as he leaned over his spread legs. He woke this morning in a state of discomfort. He couldn’t figure out where the sense of unease had come from. There was a nagging feeling at the back of his head, one he couldn’t shake, and one that was getting stronger the more time passed.
“Astumu-san?” Hinata’s voice roused him from his thoughts, and he realized he’d been staring intently at the floor in front of him.
“Hm, Shouyo-kun?”
“You’ve been staring at the ground for a while now, is everything all right?” He was gazing at the setter with those wide, brown eyes. Frightening yet childlike all at the same time.
Atsumu offered one of his dazzling smiles, nodding reassuringly. “Jus lost in thought.” He explained, reaching over to ruffle the orange tufts of hair springing from the smaller man’s head. This earned an indignant squeak as Hinata ducked, shrinking into his track jacket in the process.
Atsumu chuckled softly, glancing around.
Something just didn’t feel right.
He shook off the nagging as best as he could, continuing with his stretching.
Practice was grueling. Those uneasy feelings hadn’t left him, and he couldn’t focus on anything, watching apathetically as he failed set after set and serve after serve. His teammates had backed away from him a long time ago, afraid of his carelessness and lack of intensity. He hardly even noticed what he was doing, completely drowned in his mind.
Worry was beginning to take root, worming through him. Was something wrong with Kita? No, he had seen him only an hour ago. His parents, maybe? He didn’t think so. They were old, but they were in good health. So, who?
Osamu.
As soon as the thought passed through his head, cold dread sunk its claws into him, and he could feel his gut twisting.
No, he’d visited Osamu and his daughter just a week ago, and they were both fine. He’d facetimed his brother a few days ago too while he was at Onigiri Miya, and he was in perfect health even then.
He moved suddenly, leaving the court without a word and disappearing into the hallways of the gym complex, ignoring the shouts of his name echoing behind him.
He pulled out his phone and dialed Suna, the need to quell his fears overpowering.
“Atsumu?” The voice on the other end sounded startled to hear him, and if it weren’t for his frantic state, he would’ve heard the way Suna’s voice cracked when he spoke, and sounded disoriented.
“Suna!” Atsumu chirped, breathing a sigh of relief. “I keep feelin’ like theres somethin’ wrong, wheres ‘Samu?”
Silence.
He thought maybe their phones had lost connection - the gym didn’t have the best cell reception - but a soft, broken sob and background voices reached his ears before he had the chance to check.
“Oh fuck, is that Atsumu?” The voice was muffled and distant, but he could still hear it.
Suna had broken into full on, anguished cries now, his wails filling the phone. Atsumu was frozen, numbness beginning to spread over his body, his eyes wide and mouth gaping.
“I’m sorry.” Suna sobbed, “I-I can’t-”
There was a loud clattering sound, murmuring.
Someone else was on the phone now.
Atsumu was standing in place, silent, frozen, still.
“Atsumu?” It was Aran. He had this tone of voice as he said his name, one filled with finality, somberness. Atsumu’s stomach lurched.
Aran’s words were lost to Atsumu, blabbering nonsense as his vision clouded. Two words broke through: Osamu and...
dead.
Emptiness.
That was all he felt. The world around him crumbled, and he was left standing in nothing. His head was blank, hands trembling. He was filled with nothingness, but it was the most painful nothingness he had ever experienced.
Pain seared through him, filling in the parts that were suddenly no longer whole, the parts that had been left empty as soon as those words of finality were uttered. It was comparable to multiple heart attacks all at once, and it had Atsumu collapsing on the ground as his brain tried to catch up.
“What?” His voice was a feeble whisper, a wobble to it as everything began to process.
“I’m so sorry Atsumu.” Aran said, and it sounded like he was tearing up. “The wound was deep, and he was found too late. He’s gone. The-”
Atsumu didn’t hear the rest.
The phone in his hand clattered to the floor beneath him as he sat there, staring blankly at the entryway just ahead.
That emptiness spread through him like a cold fire. He felt incomplete, raw. Tears dripped from his eyes, warm and salty, that he hadn’t even realized had formed. He was dead silent, not a peep coming from him as his lips trembled and bile rose in his throat.
And suddenly, he was hunching over, emptying the contents of his stomach onto the polished concrete, heaves wracking through him.
He threw up until there was nothing but stomach acid left. And as he finished, hunched over a mess with his arms clutching his abdomen for dear life, he finally made a sound.
A raw, agonized scream. It ripped his already searing throat. It was broken. Nothing was more heart wrenching than the wailing sobs that tore through Atsumu’s body, the dizzying pain of his loss flooding his senses as he hunched over further, once again throwing up on the concrete below between bubbling cries.
He vaguely registered his husband rushing in; he didn’t even wonder how he had gotten there. He hardly noticed when Kita’s strong arms wrapped around his trembling frame, pulling him away from the mess. He didn’t hear it when his former captain was crying softly, whispering reassurances, trying to calm him down. Because the pain he felt? It was too much. And the black hole Osamu’s death had left inside of him was threatening to swallow him whole. So he went limp, letting the tears and sickness and sobs run through him without restraint.
Osamu was gone.
His best friend, his confidant, his brother. The person who had been there his whole life. His pillar of support and voice of reason before anyone else, the one who supported him no matter what.
The only one he could truly rely on, who he knew would always be there.
Was gone.
And nothing hurt more than knowing he was no longer whole, that he was now no more than a flattened, one sided coin.
Nothing was worse than the way he knew. He knew Osamu was dead before he was told. He could feel it. He hadn’t realized it, but he could feel him slip away, he could pinpoint the exact moment when Osamu had passed.
And it hurt.
Osamu was gone.
Osamu was dead.
And he never even got to say goodbye.
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A/N: so... hope ya liked it. This is actually my first fic now, technically. Uhhh.... its not the best? I feel like I didn’t express the pain in the way I wanted to - I’ve always been an emotions bottler so in all honesty, I don’t know what its like to let it out like Atsumu does here. I wanted to briefly explain my thoughts and like, the og one this drabble is based off of. Pretty much, I was thinking one day how if Osamu or Atsumu were to die prematurely, or in a gruesome way, the other twin would be able to feel it because theres this like, link between twins thats sometimes discussed and isn’t shared between normal siblings or other pairings. Its specifically a twin thing. So like, just imagine - Atsumu or Osamu are minding their own business and all the sudden they just feel wrong. And they know, they know subconsciously that their twin just died, but they haven't realized, but once they learn? Oh god the pain.... yeah sooo anyways! Hope y’all had a good time reading bc it certainly broke my heart to write haha.
#haikyuu#miya twins#miya atsumu#atsumu miya#miya osamu#osamu miya#fic#angst#haikyuu angst#kita shinsuke#suna rintarou#aran ojiro#hinata shoyo#atsumu#osamu
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Hiii im glad ur back!!❤️ may i request 2p face fam react to their s/o’s corgis? Like they r such sweet and gentle loafs but as soon as s/o leaves the room they arent anymore. ex: theyll sit together and stare at the 2ps with extreme dissapointment and disapproval, and make the atmosphere tense. When he walks into the room theyll briefly look at him and then move on as if they were talking crap about him before😂. (Bonus if they got along w him eventually but they still look displeased... sometimes..)
Ty Anon uwu
Hey guys I had to disappear again because all of my teachers decided that a new quarter meant 1238729343 assignments at once, we love to see it. Since its the weekend though I do not have to limit myself to one post I can make like 5 in a day so here we goes.
2p France: “yeah I have that effect on people”. Honestly animals usually really like Francois, so this is kind of new, but not surprising. The corgis will be staring at Francois and he’s like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. If the dogs keeps this behavior up Francois’ brain will just fade them out lmao. If the dogs are gonna ignore his existence or talk about him expecting a reaction of some sorts he’s just gonna be like “hmm? Oh! you two do exist my bad, are you hungry? hmm. That's unfortunate-” (he’ll feed the dogs I promise guys he’s just sassy). Because I like the idea of a tired Francois laying around with hyper corgi’s all day though I’m just going to say that they’ll get along and really close at some point. Francois would be working at his desk and the corgi’s know that s/o doesn’t like when Francois works himself to death when he’s sleepy so they’re all cuddly with him until he gives in and goes to bed. This happens a ton of times to the point where the puppies start caring a lot about Francois’ health and well being. And Francois accidentally gets attached so now they’re his b a b i e s.
2p America: His sadness is immeasurable. He’s actually so hurt right now and so dramatic about it. Dogs were supposed to be his thing, at least he thought so. And nOW THEY’RE GOSSIPING ABOUT HIM? OMFG HE’S ABOUT TO C R Y. He refuses to tell his s/o about this because ofc he wouldn’t. Instead he like tries to bribe them with extra treats or bacon or something. If that's not working he’s just gonna be really down for awhile. I feel like the dogs would notice this and feel kinda bad. Seeing a softer side of Al would make them sappy and one day if Allen was just sleeping over at his s/o’s house and the doggos were cuddling in his lap he’d just d i e. Catch them being hella cute spending the rest of the day with each other, rolling around inside and outside the house, his s/o is so confused at the change in energy. He’d nickname them nuggets even if that was longer than their og name-
2p Canada: This is fine. He’s high-key insecure about it but he’s gonna play it off like he’s perfectly fine with it and it doesn’t upset him. If he see’s the dogs talking shit he’ll be hella confrontational “You got somethin’ to say? no? thats what I was thinking”. I feel like Matt would befriend them really easily though because he probably fattens them up and buys them little toys and stuff. I can see Matt being really protective of them too cause they’re so smol and the corgi’s would prolly feel safe around him. Catch shirtless Matt and the corgis being hella cute in a flowery meadow.
2p England: *eyebrow arch* Oliver’s more of a cat person anyway so this doesn’t upset him that much. But on the other hand, sometime when his s/o is gone and he wants a cuddle buddy someone's gotta take the fall. I feel like the first parts of their bitterness would just the dogs scowling and being snarky but Olivers just unbothered and ignores it. Then after awhile Ollie is making them special treats or buying stuff to fatten them up and the the Corgi’s are c o n f l i c t e d. Oliver just coerces them into slowly loving him and ofc he loves them back. His s/o needs to be involved because honestly he will steal all their love and over feed them-. One day when s/o is not looking the corgi’s are lorge and all over Oliver. And Ollie’s just like “teehee yeah I’m just really good with animals ig”. Catch them being hella cute playing around in the kitchen while Ollie’s baking.
#2p hetalia#2p!hetalia#2P#2p!#2pface#2P france#2p america#2p canada#2p england#2p! france#2P!America#2p!Canada#2P!England
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tried somethin new! pixel edits
idk if to make them available for requestin but i mean?? if u guys like them enough ig feel free to send in
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Okay wait wait you saw my Haruta relationship hcs and everything but do you have any?? Pls I’m desperate for new opinions and hcs abt him 😫
ofc i do bro headcanons, ideas, scenarios, how can i not when hes in my brain constantly? GOD get ready for the rambling.
So, his ability? I just think its really neat like aside from the funky potential it has to make him real strong if he knew about it and like trained to be like super strong physically, just imagine the comedic value. JUST. I just think it’d be hilarious for someone to attempt to kill him. Just maybe Mahito went and said “lmao we dont need this guy” so there he is getting scolded for killing one of their pawns by Geto when all of a sudden Haruta sits up with a groan and everybodys in shock because wtf where is the injury how is he still alive? OR JUST. IMAGINE SOMEBODY TRYNA EXPLAIN IT LIKE “bro i tried to kill the blondie but???? he??? got up again??? after taking a bullet to the head???” OR SOMEBODY BEING “hes dead!! u just killed him!!” and then he just gets up lmao and just it makes him seem like a bigger airhead than he is like he asks the time and then checks it and its like 11:11 or somethin’ and then he forgets bc of his ability and asks and checks again and everyone just sighs please I think its funny
Okay enough abt that lets get to actual headcanon sorta stuff <3
Also its mentioned that his hits with his sword are super duper precise and accurate and while yeah sure maybe the sentient sword helps with that a little i just wanna imagine hes got great precision with his attacks <3
I feel like hes gotta know first aid like cmon now I can imagine like a mother or somebody teaching him bc hes weak or maybe he teaches himself bc hes weak and bullied and gets hurt a lot. He’s surprisingly competent and everybodys surprised.
Speaking of bullied !!! by god can i imagine it just. the name calling i bet hed get called the things like ‘weak’ and ‘pathetic’ and ‘airheaded idiot’ and ‘dumb blonde’ and ‘girly’ and stuff like that. It feels like though maybe as a kid he’d be a little hurt by it??? but as he is now he seems like he’d stand there with a blank stare just not seeming to know he’s actually supposed to be offended
and school !!! he strikes me as the type who just didnt go to any jujutsu school, or maybe just did and he dropped out. or dropped out of normal school. whatever the case, school has never been a high priority for him. but i can just imagine he wasnt really taught proper jujutsu stuff in a school </3 maybe hung out with a group of curse users and stuff, yknow? hanging out with the wrong crowd or whatevs
hes the sort to wear makeup im just saying imagine him with makeup with painted nails and like idk makeup stuff just <3
just saying he would just. If he met like Maki or Kugisaki at like a grocery store he’d probs approach them all friendly maybe all “well yeah I was supposed to try and kill you but i mean the missions over now we’re not on the battlefield rn!!”
people would come after him for like several accounts of murder and stuff and he’d be all “oh? i didnt know i had secret admirers <3″ when theyre all “finally found u!!!”
Talked abt him with a friend once and they said “he’d be that guy who says something offensive, gets his ass kicked by girls and then stays there in utter confusion because he got no clue what he did wrong” and honestly? yeah
Also they said “He’d probably do shit he doesn’t like just to impress a girl” He’s exactly that sort of person
also im just saying hes totally the type to go out with the intention of buying something for someone only to forget and buy things for himself instead and when he realises he just shrugs all “oh well, guess i’ll do it next time ig”
#haruta shigemo#shigemo haruta#headcanons#jjk#jjk headcanons#haruta shigemo headcanons#jjk haruta#jjk shigemo#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen headcanons#jujutsu kaisen haruta#jujutsu kaisen shigemo
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