#but i thought i would attempt to answer :)

[queenlucythevaliant]

So... since clearly Jack never makes continuity errors, tell me your theory on what happened to Reepicheep between PC and VDT.

[deiaiko]

#19.3 Unravel

It had been some time since Agni felt this nervous. Not even talking with Jinsung Ha recently had made him feel like this. He fiddled with the mask on his hand as he waited for Grace to come back. He had thought hard on how to deliver the news, but he knew that no matter how he phrased it, Grace would be upset. Velt nuzzled under his palm and Agni gave her a few pats, before deciding that she would be better inside her bowl in his lighthouse, just in case the shinsu acted up around Grace after he received the news.

Grace came back wearing the comfiest shirt and shorts Agni knew Grace liked to wear on lazy days. He joined him on the floor, and they ate dinner together. Agni always finished last, so while waiting for him to finish his meal, Grace told him about his day with Bam. Grace was intrigued by how much his way of thinking had changed, and how glad he was to be able to be by Bam's side when he was having a bad day. It reminded Agni of the hidden floor, when Grace faced his sworn enemy.

They left the used bowls on the coffee table and went to brush their teeth. Afterwards, they turned off the light and went upstairs to sit on their bed. Grace's curious gaze never left him, and Agni curled his feet nervously.

Grace was the one who broke the silence. "So…what is it?"

Agni's breath hitched. This was the part he dreaded most. "I talked with the crocodile earlier. Did you know that he could manipulate stone already?"

"Huh." Grace needed a few seconds to let the information sink in. "Didn't Rak learn it on the Hell train? How does he know it?"

"Turns out our crocodile also traveled back to the past like us. He found the young crocodile and taught him."

"What?!" Grace gasped, wide eyed. "That means our Rak is–!!"

"He's dead." Agni quickly snuffed out that hope. They had been in delusion for long enough; it was time that they faced the bitter truth. "He suffered a fatal injury from the explosion. He couldn't have lasted long without proper help." Agni omitted the actual cause for Rak's death, but still kept his words true. "I'm sorry."

"…Oh." Grace looked lost, just like Agni was. His lips parted a little, but they closed before any sound escaped.

Agni gently squeezed Grace's hand, encouraging and comforting as he let the silence stretch on, giving Grace some time to process the information.

"Agni…" Grace whispered, "do you think Hatz and Isu…?"

Agni bit his lip and avoided his gaze, as the nightmare of that day replayed in his mind. He witnessed Hatz get his arm ripped off when trying to protect him. He could still recall the clang of a sword hitting the floor, and Hatz's suppressed scream that gnawed deep at his guilt. He witnessed Isu get beheaded after being taken hostage, the memory of warm blood painting them both still vivid like it happened yesterday. 

Agni refused to acknowledge their possible deaths, because it felt like a nightmare that one day he could hopefully wake up from. He avoided the topic when Grace brought it up, so he wouldn't have to say it aloud and make it real. He had been so hard on himself, because he couldn't get rid of the feeling that he had failed Grace and everyone else involved.

Agni knew this had to change if he wanted to live better, now that they had gotten a second chance. So he swallowed down the lump in his throat that had built up over the years and asked mostly to himself; "What are the odds of their survival?"

"There's always a chance–"

"Grace." Agni looked him straight in the eye. "They were already severely injured before the explosion hit."

Grace fell silent and went still.

Agni felt a pang of guilt upon witnessing Grace's reaction. "Sorry. I didn't mean to snap." Agni fiddled with his hands. He realized that he didn't know how much Grace knew of what happened. "My scar…do you know how I got it?"

"I…was told it was from the family heads' battle." Grace looked thoughtful. Agni knew he was trying to be careful with his words. "A stray attack?"

"It could have been worse." The memory of the scorching heat on his skin felt like it had only happened yesterday. He passed out right when he was about to heal Isu, and only found out later that he also lost sweetfish at that time. The days he spent recovering from the burn, to withstand the excruciating pain every second he was conscious, and finally coming to terms that it'd be a permanent scar, was one of the turning points that had changed him forever. Were Grace not there to care for him, he might have ended up destroying himself even more.

Agni hadn't realized he had his left hand clawing on his cheek until Grace pried his hand off and frowned, "You're doing it again."

"Maybe I should wear the mask…" Agni muttered to himself. After all, Grace gave it to him less so he could hide the scar but more to prevent him from unconsciously hurting himself. The only time he could safely take it off was when Grace was around.

Agni bit his lip nervously when Grace didn't reply. He no longer had the courage to look Grace in the eye that spoke so much concern, so he leaned close and rested his head on Grace's chest. "Rak, Isu, Hatz and Hwaryun were trying to get me out of that damned place. But we were caught while escaping, and…it was a bloodbath. I was…too occupied to react to the incoming heat. Rak shielded us from the explosion. And when I woke up…"

"They weren’t with you," Grace finished it for him after Agni trailed off a moment too long.

Agni nodded dazedly, "I've been telling myself that they're still alive, after a blow that could kill rankers. But…who am I kidding? I was lucky enough to survive with just this little–" Agni vaguely pointed to himself– "inconvenience."

Agni felt a hand gripping his arm, and he pulled away to see Grace looking at him with a pained expression. His eyes were glossy and his lips were pulled into a thin line. Trusting his instinct, Agni reached out to gently trace and cup Grace's cheek with his free hand.

"I'm sorry," Agni muttered. "I'm sorry, for not telling you sooner."

Agni silently witnessed tears that streamed down on his love's face. It was a bitter sight that Agni wished he'd never have to see again, that he had tried to avoid for so long by not telling him. He pulled Grace in and held him close to his chest, as if Agni was trying to gather his own crumbled heart back together.

Grace mumbled their late best friends' names as he held onto him tighter, shaking from each breath he took between sniffles.

Agni felt his own eyes sting with unshed tears. He remembered the years he spent climbing the tower together with his old team. Despite their banter being his source of headaches, Agni knew he too had come to acknowledge them as his cherished friends. Only when they were gone did Agni realize how much he'd miss having them around. Seeing the younger them didn't exactly close the gaping hole in his heart, but at least the emptiness was more filled.

Agni squeezed Grace tighter. "We have their younger selves with us now. We will protect them better this time."

Grace only nodded and sank further into his embrace. And Agni planted kisses on his hair, relishing the thought that after everything he had gone through, Grace was still a constant in his life. As long as he had him, everything would be okay.

When Grace started shaking again, Agni caressed his hair and hummed a comfort song they had known by heart. Still, it didn't make falling asleep any easier for Agni, especially not after admitting that his nightmare was very much real. However, as he had been through grief…this, too, would pass.

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[jasontoddenthusiastt]

Imo Jason is “irredeemable” by default because I don’t see what he needs redemption from.

[vivid-vices]

what is the appeal of morizai for you?

i went back and took a screenshot of this excerpt from one of my earlier posts for a sort of brief explanation:

but i realize what you're asking isn't what appeals to me in their canon dynamic, it's what appeals to me about them as a ship. and that's harder to explain, and also something i've never put any particular thought into.

i find mori, as a character, fascinating. i find dazai almost equally fascinating. it just makes sense for me to want to play with them like little dolls - the same way i do with skk.

i hope that sort of answers your question 🙏

[strxnged]

i've gone for so long without properly communicating to my boyfriend that i don't like being feminized that it's 100% my fault and i shouldn't bother telling him at this point

[mtt-burger-emporium]

thinking about chara and the implications of the line "chara hated humanity. why, they never said..." like ok i KNOW something was happening at home. chara baby you didn't deserve that shit i'm so glad you fell down a thousand feet in a cave hole and right into the arms of people who would keep you fed roof over your head and would never raise their hand against you. "eradicate humanity" you're 10 years old how about eradicating your shitfucked surface fam by calling cps first

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

"i mess up things and then i don't have the energy to fix them up" yes brain true sentence but no brain the appropriate response is NOT "therefore i should kill myself (and here's how)"

[tcypionate]

personally, i think if some sort of apocalypse happened, we wouldn't immediately collapse and get set back hundreds of years wrt technology, infrastructure, etc. it's not like every engineer, doctor, construction workers, etc. are going to also be wiped out. and even under the constant pressure and threat of capitalism, people go into these careers wanting to do good. (depending on how the apocalypse is started/how it happens) there would probably be a few rough years at first but people are really good at getting their shit together

[gu6chan]

99% just my autism speaking here but something ive been noticing lately that im sorta kinda 😶 about is when ppl are like "I think you'll like this" but not bc they ACTUALLY think you'll like it, rather they just got into it and want you to also get into it so "I think you'll like this" is a nice personal hook. i love chill stuff as much as any other person ofc but given i don't divulge that EVER, what makes you think my berserk reading, made in abyss watching, drakengard playing ass would like YURU CAMP????

[vonlipvig]

Ok, I'm assuming The Ritual movie is horror but seeing those two pictures of the actors made me think it was a comedy!

it's not a comedy? well, it should be!

[the-cat-at-the-theatre-door]

Gosh, now you got me wondering--what was Tugger's relationship with Gus like, do you think?

Munkustrap was drawn to Gus because he offered an alternative outlet to the more rigid and quiet disposition he was used to - a more creative one, and one that gave him the ability to be someone else for a while, should he so choose. His relationship with Gus is based partially off of his ability to provide him with the escapism he craved, and partially his wanting to do what he did in return (also Munk just likes old people, listening to their wisdom and absorbing their teachings and being a helper; that's the way he is).

I feel like Tugger's relationship with Gus was based less so on "this is who I want to be and preserve" and more on "this is partially who I *am* already, and wow it's validating that there are other cats like me" - cats who, while serious and scolding and party poopers to their own extent (Gus has chewed him out a multitude of times), also just...prance around in the spotlight and crave attention and like showing off and can create these realities for people that makes them forget about things for a while and they do that for a *living*, isn’t that something? Tugger is a performer and a bit of a ham - of course he was drawn to the theatricality of the entirety of Gus' career, and fascinated that he got to *keep that up* instead of give it up (because I feel like...Deuteronomy may have been more like that once, or wanted to be more like that once, but eventually he had to step up....just like someone else. Gus never really stopped that.). He's also opinionated and stubborn and struggles with getting older and shirking from his responsibilities - just like Gus was and continues to be. It’s that kind of relationship between two people who are very similar and bond over that, but also there are points where that reflection is just a *touch* too strong and maybe that can cause friction from time to time. Not necessarily a relationship based on unfaltering respect and admiration, but one based in familial familiarity. This cat has been in my life for as long as I remember and this cat is very *very* similar to me. 

I feel like while Munk was up front being the one listening wide eyed and hanging off every word Gus would say and copying what he would do and be eager for his attention and approval, Tugger was also doing the exact same thing, but acting like he wasn't. As a kitten, he'd be whining how he didn't *want* to sit still and listen to another story, and wander off or muck around while the others were listening, but he also had very curated opinions about which ones of Gus' characters and plays were the best ones, and which ones weren't (which heavily contested with Munkustrap's and they would sometimes squabble over that). He would also be caught later in his play with his friends making references to those very tales that he would only know if he paid close attention, wouldn't he?

As an adult, it's the same thing: he pays very *very* close attention to Gus when he chances around, but acts flippant and casual about it, listening intently from the outskirts with his paws hooked in his belt, rolling his eyes, but then mouths the exact dialogue under his breath, and gets swept up, and startles when Gus would spook them all. Tugger would rib on Gus and, when he was still sharper, Gus would rib on him right back. Like with Deuteronomy, Tugger is very gentle with him even when he's goofing around. He's loud and boisterous and mouthy, tossing his head and bounding over, but then will curl down to just beneath Gus' height and mutter hello, ask him how he is, call him an old man(affectionate). A surefire sign that Tugger *does* love him is that he is *quiet* when he is talking, and values his opinion about as much as he’s able to value another’s opinion of himself - if Gus looks him up and down and hmphs and Tugger gets a sense that something’s wrong, he *will* think about it for the rest of the day (except no he totally won’t).

It's also...Tugger sort of understands Gus in a way that some other cats don't, due to that similarity I mentioned earlier. He remembers this larger than life personality that’s just barely a wisp now and he struggles to come to terms with the fact that it’s the same cat. When Gus looks back at their pitying faces and watery smiles, Tugger immediately looks away even though he was also staring sadly after him, allowing him his dignity. Knowing that if he were in his position, he wouldn't want that. That’s sort of his way of telling him that he respects his felinity and independence and thinks of him as an *individual* rather than a problem, and will gladly contribute to the upholding of it - he’d want him to do the same for him (and he *did* from time to time when he was a kitten).

I feel like when the two of them were informed that Gus was in the early stages of heading towards the long nap, Tugger was just as upset as Munk was, he just...hid it better? Because he’s used to coping with his abandonment issues under the surface of flippancy and casualty. He’ll be upset about another cat that was actually a constant in his life leaving him in private. I feel like he was also one of the cats who was very *side eye* at the fact that he got snubbed for the Choice (man would obviously never question his father’s decision in that - though yes maybe he would - but he doesn’t have to be happy about it). He’s still sore about that one to this day. 

In conclusion:

[cannibaltranssexual]

hi jason! sorry if youve answered this before, but what does aaoc stand for? i love the posts that you tag as such so im curious :]

its my tag for posts that remind me of my wip fic(s) !! i havent 100% settled on what to name the series yet but pretty early on in development i stumbled upon that passage by julian k jarboe (from the book everyone on the moon is essential personnel) that goes

Why does God create grapes and wheat, but not wine and bread? God does this because God wants us to share in the act of creation. To be how you made me, to become how God made me, though you, I can remake myself. You and I: we are already only whole, and shifting towards the divine.

and the author also has a tweet relating this concept to transsexuality and youve probably already seen one or both of these floating around on tumblr already but whatever i just wanted to center my t4t hannigram fic around these quotes cause theyre just. so good.

so yeah it stands for "an act of creation" except it should probably be "#taoc" if i wanted it to match the original quote but i cba to go and change it now which is probably not how placeholder tags are meant to work !! oh well . fic playlist <3

[tvrningout]

i drank some wine, got possessed with the need to write about alvina and levina bc they're gonna be important for ciaran's story as well as the overarching story, hit a lil wall bc it became more like a scene out of a book than an info post, and now i'm like. what do i do :' )

[dahkis]

so beast tamer is getting replaced (lynched) by the new class 'lynn'

rip beast tamer 2023. couldn't make it to the end of the year LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[sophisticatedswifts]

I asked both of my parents which one of our cats they thought would be most likely to let me do this with them and they both had the same answer so I’ll let you know how it goes if I ever attempt to wear her like a scarf

[sageofthestrange]

✿

bold for things i could definitely see or want, italics for things i could see or am unsure of and striked out for things i don’t want or cannot see.

FRIENDSHIP.     childhood friends  /  work buddies or coworkers  /  family friends  /  friends with benefits  /  smoking buddies  /  adventure buddies  /  fake friends  /  recently friends  /  party buddies  /  friendship of need  /  dying friendship  /  circumstantial friendship  /  partners in crime  /  old friendship  /[your muse] is the good influence  /[your muse] is the bad influence  /[my muse] is the good influence  /[my muse] is the bad influence  /  opposites attract  /  ride or die  /  frenemies  /  roommates or flatmates  /  penpals  /  exes to friends  /  enemies to friends  /  other

ROMANCE.     childhood sweethearts  /[your muse is mines] childhood crush  /[my muse is yours] childhood crush  /  exes  /  exes to lovers  /  forbidden lovers  /  highschool sweethearts  /  secret relationship  /  opposites attract  /  long distance  /  unrequited [from your muses side]/  unrequited [from my muses side]/  unrequited [from both sides]/  skinny love  /  friends to lovers  /  enemies to lovers  /  spurious relationship  /  power couple  /  newly entered  /  soulmates [ metaphorical ]/  soulmates  [ literal ]/  awkward  /  turning toxic  /  toxic love  /  cheating [on your muse]/  cheating [with your muse]/  other

FAMILIAL.     siblings [half]/  siblings [step]/[my muse] is an older sibling figure to your younger sibling figure  /[my muse] is a younger sibling figure to your older sibling figure muse  /[my muse] is a parental figure to yours  /[my muse] is a child figure to your muse  /  guardian figure  /  legal guardian  /  adoptive child  /  foster child  /[your muse] is taken under mines wing  /[my muse] is taken under yours wing  /  other

ANTAGONISTIC.     dangerous to each other  /  dangerous to others  /  unpredictable  /  rivals  /  petty  /  developing into sexual or romantic tension  /  based off family matters  /  based of off circumstance  /  based of professional matters  /  based off misunderstanding or lies  /  conflict of ideology  /  betrayal  /  hero - villain dynamic  /  enemies  /  fight club  /  friends turned enemies  /  lovers turned enemies  /  exes turned enemies  /  other