#but i think this is ultimately the best decision for me to get my ducks in line

[pupkashi]

life update for any of those who keep up with pupkashi lore: I’m applying for grad school ! I’m so scared and nervous

[etoilesbienne]

Okay on the reset, there's multiple things going on here.

I think it's fair for the heavily active CC to be frustrated their personal stuff was sidelined and interrupted with the reset, I get it. All that progress stopped. I also have full faith in all of the active CC to be able to bounce back and be capable of return in their own way. I trust this of BadBoyHalo and Tubbo. Pierre might have different concerns, but he's been doing content for a decade, I think he'll be fine.

On the other hand, I think this server reset was kinda necessary. Especially from the perspective of more new players being added soon. Like, even Tubbo when added was struggling to find things to do at first because he'd suggest something, and then people would point out someone else already did that like two months prior. To quote a friend, if Tubbo was struggling to find things to do, what's left for players like Lenay?

Keep in mind, the last time the admins tried something to level the playing field between active players and inactive players was Lucky Ducks. Which killed a lot of motivation for members who did like grinding hard to obtain materials. Lucky Ducks was just giving them that stuff without any work. This reset is the last resort in my opinion.

The other thing that interests me is that Etoiles mentioned that he knew about this reset coming (or something similar) for at least three months now. This is odd with the perspective of Pierre and BBH both reacting so badly, like they didn't know this would be happening. Because of both of these scenarios, I think there are two things that could have happened: 1. Etoiles vouching for a reset meant he talked to the admins more one-on-one over this. 2. The admins mentioned a server reset, and never detailed what that would revolve around. I personally think the second is more likely, as QStudios are somewhat... notorious? For being a little nebulous and not the best at communication for all streamers at once.

Ultimately I do think the server reset was a good decision, it encourages playing for people who were never able to get their foot in the door, and hopefully will make the server more active in the future. I also think the incentivizing for players to be farther apart ala Karmaland while create is off for the first few days is a good idea too, we don't need another Roier chunk that lags the hell out of the server being so close to spawn.

I think there's other parts that are less than desirable because they work poorly in practice (disabling all backpacks above iron unless purchased via... the new money system. The new money system in general. Punishing players for doing a bunch of backpacks as a storage system as if that isn't a fair playstyle because it's literally just a bunch of blocks on hand, it makes things more convenient I truly do not get the weird punishing behavior about backpacks. Not telling the players the list of nerfs/changes beforehand. Come on, I would love a Tubbo changelog reading stream. He'd have so much fun doing that.), however overall I am willing to wait another week or two to see how the admin team responds and fixes changes as they see them be interacted with. It's been three days, and there were a hell of a lot of changes.

[fillingthescrapbook]

Let's Talk About: Mentopolis and Case Closed

This is arguably the best Dimension 20 finale of 2023… so far. Sure, Dungeons and Drag Queens gave us one heck of an emotional ending that was elevated by Jujubee's personal stakes in the story. The Ravening War was a fun romp through time that delivered cinematic-quality twists, plot developments, and tension-filled moments in the finale. And Neverafter's finale was more scary serious and needed a lot of processing.

Mentopolis though… With the mix of catharsis and a table of players that really focused their talents on the fun of role-playing… This finale was just so enjoyable. It gave me everything I didn't even know I wanted.

And the whole episode was truly bonkers. The fight, the player decisions… Danielle/Anastasia Tension glugging down some room-temperature vodka after a wild chase, Hank/The Fix setting the mood with some genre-appropriate steam, and Freddie/Dan Fucks making the ultimate in-character choice of distracting the enemy with his diamond-hard balls.

Trapp rolled the most cursed Nat 1 from Dimension 20 history--and still survived! Siobhan found the best coda for the whole adventure.

And Alex… Alex has done something no other Dimension 20 player has ever done for me: they made me cry for four episodes straight. Maybe five. I'll have to go back to what I said in previous talk-abouts. But Alex was very masterful with how they delivered their emotional gut-punches. As well as the physical ones Conrad delivered.

Hank didn't want to get left behind either. His final scene with the reunion? Magnificent. And the "did you know" speech in the fight that wasn't meant to be menacing but still managed to scare the shit out of everyone (including myself who is watching months and months after they finished wrapping)? Inspiring.

I need to see Alex, Hank, and Freddie in future Dimension 20 seasons. I would love for them to be together, but I would love it even more if we see them interact with other Dimension 20 cast members and/or newcomers. I want Hank to come back in a season with Murph and Emily. I want Alex on a season with Aabria as the game master, and maybe with Oscar Montoya as a fellow player. And Freddie… Freddie, I feel, could fit in with any table composition. I want to see his chaos with Zac and Lou's though. Or Zac and Ally's.

And I want Danielle partnering with Siobhan again. Maybe in another Good Society-run season by Aabria. Maybe in a different system run by Jasmine Bhullar. I feel like we only got the tip of the possible shenanigans we could've gotten from the two… Thinking about it now, what if Murph guest DMs a side quest season with Danielle, Siobhan, and Emily?! The possible combinations are endless.

While I fantasize about possible casts for future seasons of Dimension 20, I leave you with a few gems I will treasure from the finale of Mentopolis:

"The greatest pleasure is punching your boss."

"Mr. Fix? Duck!"

And "57. My favorite number."

See y'all next time. In the stars. In the soup. In the dome.

[bobauthorman]

I have a statement to make, and I knew none of your are going to like. But I have to get it out of my system, so here it goes.

Ruby was wrong to lie to Ironwood at the beginning of Volume 7.

(Ducks thrown tomatoes)

NOW, let me say I am NOT saying Ironwood’s breakdown was Ruby’s fault, nor the subsequent destruction of Atlas and the Relics should be laid at her feet. She is NOT responsible for those events. It’s just, the lying thing still was not a good idea.

I know, I know. “But Ruby was right! Ironwood wasn’t trustworthy!” and “How can you expect her to trust the guy after the last bunch of authority figures screwed with her and her friends?!”

But the thing is, while Team Remnant couldn’t trust Ironwood with the truth, they did trust him otherwise. They accepted his gifts, worked with his soldiers, and helped him remain in power…an act that blew up in their faces when Cinder push Ironwood’s mental Big Red Button. 

When Ironwood outlines the first the step of his plan is to reestablish global communications, tell the world about Salem and then send his fleet to defend the other kingdoms, Ruby comments, “That…is a good plan.” From that one sentence, she shows that her hiding the truth was not just a matter of keeping from having a breakdown, but also keeping him on course for “a good plan.” The rest of us (Well, some of us) have the perspective and time to fully grasp and analyze how badly this plan could go. But Ruby does not have that perspective. As both Yang and Oscar point out, this is very similar to how Ozpin operated, and we all know how that worked. Overall, this was Xiao Long family’s usual method of dealing with difficult subjects by…not dealing and instead trying to bury their unease with work.

Now, to Ruby’s credit, when she sees what appears to be Ironwood opening up to others, she takes it as a cue that he can handle the full truth. And at no point does anyone realize that Salem herself is on the way, or that Cinder has been in Atlas for who knows how long. But by waiting so long, Ironwood has had too many shocking revelations that he can’t process finding out about the latter two. It’s just poor timing.

Ultimately, the decision to hold off on telling Ironwood the truth was a delaying action. It didn’t so much make the situation worse, but it did not make things better, especially with Watts and Tyrian doing their best to tweak the general’s nerves. Now, the question is, would telling him early on stop a breakdown?

I’m gonna say no.

And I think that’s the whole point of what I’m trying to say. Ironwood was always on a road to ruin. But if they had gotten it over with sooner, Team Remnant would only have had to deal with the mad general. By putting it off, this meant they were forced into a three-way conflict with both the Atlas Army and Salem herself. Ruby has a coping mechanism where she tries to avoid difficult subjects by burying herself in work, which is exactly what happened in Atlas. She felt bad about hiding the truth from Ironwood, and then got distracted by the endless missions. While on paper they were helping Atlas, it was the equivalent of dousing brushfires while not doing anything about the arsonist- everything wrong with Atlas was at present the result of Ironwood’s policies. He needed a wake-up call.

Now, I’m sure a lot of you will get on my case about this. We all want our heroes to be these flawless paragons who always make the right call. But one of RWBY’s themes that the ‘Perfect Hero’ just doesn’t exist. The show’s protagonists make mistakes. They act hypocritically. But what makes them better than the villains or even mentors who also do this is that they are far more willing to recognize those mistakes and try to deal with them.

[rhysdasiorarchive]

“It’s not like I chose to have feelings for him!” It was a weak defence at best and the smile in his tone likely wasn’t doing him any favours in propping up any kind of convincing argument. “I mean, yeah, you did warn me, as did Seth, and yeah, you both made valid points. I get that, I don’t disagree with that, but isn’t it ultimately my decision to make?” As Mateo paused to take a sip, Rhys fiddled with the drawstrings of his hoodie with his free hand, ducking his head as he replayed Mateo’s points in his mind with a tired sigh. No matter what the outcome would be, someone in his social circle was going to be disappointed. The witch bit back a laugh as Mateo’s ranting continued despite the good intentions behind it. “It’s not, I know. Trust me, I know. But it’s an explanation. That doesn’t make his actions right but it does prove that there was no malicious intent behind him fucking off for months without a word. He didn’t do it to hurt me, not intentionally.” Feeling Mateo’s stare resting on him again, Rhys finally plucked up the courage to peek at him from under the safety of his hood, his expression perfectly mirroring that of a kicked dog as he reluctantly listened to yet another slew of frustratingly valid points. “We’ll see when we get to that point, won’t we?” It wasn’t a thought Rhys necessarily wanted to entertain, not now that he’d finally managed to start tentatively rebuilding something with Roland. “But I don’t think it’ll happen again, I really don’t. The conviction he spoke with… it wasn’t just to placate me, Mateo. He meant every word. I genuinely think he’s learned from this. Besides, it’s not like I’m gonna go wandering back and act like nothing happened. I’m gonna be laying down boundaries and expectations when we see each other next to make sure something like this doesn’t happen again if something’s gonna be going on between us. I’ve thought about this, trust me.” 

The quiet ding from his phone pulled Rhys’ attention down to it as Mateo’s focus simultaneously shifted and the sight of Roland’s name made his chest flutter immediately, the surprise getting the better of him for a moment before he moved to try and snatch it back from the thunderbird with sudden urgency, pushing himself up to clamber onto Mateo to try and prise it from his hold. “It’s my property. You can’t just– give it here. I won’t even look at it, just lemme have it.”

Rhys tried to hide in his hoodie but Mateo was sure to speak loud enough that the fabric wouldn't be much of a barrier to the sound. The witch was only hiding because he knew how right Mateo was and that in itself was like an admission. But even if Rhys knew Mateo was right and that Roland was a bad idea, he seemed to be extremely willing to run right back into his arms. Case in point, all the justifications that came pouring out and Mateo stared at him at first then thudded his head back against the desk in exasperation. Still, he let Rhys say all he had to say, gladly taking the refill when it was offered and watching the bottle roll away as Rhys continued to go on and on about how Roland was misunderstood and handled things poorly and all the other excuses he was willing to make for him.

"I seem to remember having a conversation with you about this before where I'm pretty sure I warned you not to have feelings for him because he couldn't be trusted but you just wanted to 'play things out' and 'see where it went' and figured it would all come to an end anyway. And I was right and it did end but you still didn't listen to me!" He took another fortifying sip of wine then got animated again. "Also, unresolved trauma about his ex is not a good reason to fuck you over! That's another red flag! I've got a dead ex too but I don't use it as an excuse to be a maldito bastardo to people." He paused at himself and sighed, then took another large sip of wine, looking over at Rhys. "Sure, he means it now. But what happens when he panics again? Is he gonna abandon you again? I bet he will. You watch." Mateo didn't take any joy in that idea, it wasn't like he wanted Rhys to experience pain, but this whole rant was trying to save Rhys from it though it was getting muddled and he felt like he was failing.

Rhys' phone had fallen out of his hoodie pouch when he'd leaned over to pour Mateo's wine and a text notification went off which was why Mateo noticed it. He saw that it was from Roland and it came with some kind of video attachment so Mateo moved to snatch the device before Rhys could get to it. "I'm not letting you look at this. He doesn't deserve you. This is a vampire free zone right now."

[phoebonica]

so my headcanon is Peterson's and Sons and Friends Bits and Parts Ltd is the same kind of ...entity/situation/pocket universe??? as Lily and Todney's Family Home. Based mainly on the similarity between the way the twins 'let' Yellow Guy use Mother's piece and talk about how Mother will be home soon, because they're making him into Mother, and how the fax machine tries to talk Red Guy into arbitrarily firing someone on the grounds that it's 'what Mr Peterson would do', because she's making him into Mr Peterson.

(and possibly they're both the same or similar kind of thing as The House, and it's just that The House doesn't need to poach anyone new from elsewhere. it already has three of them.)

Anyway, I was pondering this and also the excellent theory by @gnomeniche about Red, Yellow and Duck as metaphorical director, writer and actor respectively, constantly having their creativity crushed out of them by the world, and it occurred to me that in true deal-with-the-devil style, Peterson's Etc. lures them in with warped versions of their strongest desires.

On the surface, yeah, Red Guy wanted to do nothing so he gets to be the boss, haha, but if you look at it through the idea that he wants control of his life, he wants to be listened to and get to make his own decisions - well, now he's in charge! And he's good at it! Except that all he really seems to do is take phone calls and eat fancy dinners and occasionally fire someone and not even bother to wash his own hands, because somebody else'll take care of it, right...?

And if Yellow Guy wants to create - he's making stuff with his own hands now all day, and it's good! People like it! People like hearing the things he has to say, they don't call his ideas wrong or stupid at all! Except for how that joke he just told was one he heard thirty seconds ago, and not only is he on an assembly line making the same bits and parts over and over again, they're just being melted down to be remade, not even used.

And at first I thought Duck was the exception to the pattern here. They couldn't use Duck. His ego is too powerful, the best they could manage was mindwiping him and even that didn't stick for long. But thinking about it again in terms of that post I just reblogged...

They can't offer Duck his deepest desire for self-expression, even in the twisted and ultimately unfulfilling form that the other two get, but they can give him the ability to Always Get It Right. Always Stick To The Script. They can wipe out that pesky individuality for him, and it won't even hurt to be eaten alive and spat out this time. Probably. Probably not that much, anyway.

(but it doesn't work for long, because he knows this isn't where he's supposed to be.)

[mythicandco]

It was not often that Emperor Belos visited Hunter’s room.

Usually he was working on the portal or in his throne room, or occasionally roaming the castle halls after dark. Hunter had once seen him without his mask, staring at a mural of the Savage Ages. He’d somehow looked equally disgusted and wistful. He was saying something under his breath that could’ve been a conversation, had there been anyone around to talk to.

Hunter had left his uncle alone that night.

But today Hunter was just sitting in his room doodling Red, waiting for new orders to come in. He’d grown weirdly attached to the palisman since they had flown in his window, and they were a wonderful model, sitting perfectly still while he tried to capture every detail and shadow. He wasn’t very good, but he was sure he was improving.

That was when a gentle, yet resounding knock sounded from the other side of his door, and a familiar voice asked, “Hunter, may I come in?”

Hunter’s eyes went wide and his palisman ducked under his pillow in a flash. He stashed his drawings under the bed and said, “Come in!”

Emperor Belos pushed open the door with the care of a potionist concocting a delicate brew. He was wearing his mask, but it looked like he’d thrown it on in a hurry and hadn’t tucked his hair out of the way, instead having it tied loosely up into a ponytail.

Hunter always got deja-vu when he saw his uncle with this hairstyle. The last time he’d had it up like this was when Hunter had accidentally damaged his staff and Belos had gladly agreed to help him fix it. He wasn’t sure why his uncle had been so eager to help him fix his mistake. It seemed like every passing day made Belos’ curse worsen, and his fuse shorten.

But even with his outbursts of violence (which were all perfectly reasonable considering the circumstances of each one), Belos still cared about Hunter. He trusted him with secrets he never told anyone else, and appreciated and cared about him as long as he stayed loyal and useful. Hunter remembered the stories his uncle would tell when he was little, tales of two brothers who went on adventures and quests and sometimes messed up, but ultimately cared about each other above all else.

Belos had never told the character’s names, but Hunter had always kind of imaged them in his head as himself and his uncle. He wasn’t sure why, but it was just what felt right.

Belos’ hand hovered in midair for a moment, before he reached up to take off his mask. The door shut behind him and he sat down next to Hunter, looking at the wall.

“Are you alright, Uncle?”

“Yes,” he smiled a little bit. “Thanks mainly to you. I’m proud of you for getting the Titan’s blood. You did well.”

“I almost didn’t,” Hunter replied, looking away. “I almost failed again.”

“We mustn’t dwell on would’ves and could’ves,” Belos waved a hand almost dismissively, as though he was clearing himself of those thoughts as well. “What matters is that the Day of Unity is closer than ever, and it’s because of your hard work.”

Hunter couldn’t help but smile. “Thank you, Emperor Belos.” He paused, recalling a question he’d never been able to ask. The last time he’d wondered about this aloud, Belos had turned him away and said, “Maybe at a later time.”

But now seemed like as good a time as any - he’d come into Hunter’s room, most likely just to talk to him. The Titan’s plans were going smoothly and everyone had a moment to stop and breathe. But on the other hand, if Hunter asked, his uncle might leave. He might never get a chance to sit side-by-side with him like they were brothers again. But on the other other hand, what use was sitting in silence?

“Uncle, I’ve been… meaning to ask you something,” Hunter admitted finally before he could chicken out. He bit his lip as Belos turned his full attention on him, already regretting his decision. Well, no turning back now. “With the Titan’s blood acquired and the portal almost ready and how everyone’s taking a little break before the Day of Unity arrives, I thought it would be a good time to ask.” He swallowed. Moment of truth. “…Who were my parents? A-and I know they were killed by wild magic,” he added, “but what were they like before?”

Belos’ expression turned from listening intently to horrified to very, very sad in less than a heartbeat.

Hunter’s back straightened. “I-I mean, y-you don’t have to-“

Belos held up a hand, silencing his nephew. “No, it’s alright. You have a right to ask. It’s only fair after the trouble I’ve put you through.” He chuckled, but it was dry in his throat. “I didn’t…” He hesitated.

“Your mother was a wonderful woman. She was always going off to slay beasts or tame small creatures. I know she loved animals and had a fiery spirit. And your father loved her very, very much.” He paused. “We didn’t part on the best of terms. I wish I could’ve told her that I was happy for her.”

“You said not to dwell on would’ves and could’ves,” Hunter pointed out. Belos smiled again.

“Yes, well, I suppose deep down we’re all sentimental old historians,” his uncle responded. “Now, I knew your father very well. He and I would always get into all kinds of trouble. It hardly mattered when one of us fell, because the other would help him back to his feet. We almost never saw eye-to-eye, always butting heads, but it was the kind of friendly rivalry good friends are supposed to have. He was like a brother to me.” His expression hardened.

“I’m sorry you don’t have a sibling, Hunter.”

“I-“ the witch paused. This thought had occurred to him only once, back when he was little. It was a silly thought - who needed a sibling when your uncle was the emperor of the Boiling Isles, and your family was his entire Coven? Hunter didn’t need friends to weigh him down, not when he had big things to accomplish. “What do you mean? I have you.”

Belos visibly winced, and Hunter flinched. He’d said something wrong, now he was going to be left alone again, or maybe worse, please don’t-

But the emperor didn’t move beyond that, and instead let out a long, drawn-out sigh. “You are the spitting image of him.”

Hunter took a moment to process this. “My father?” he finally asked. Instead of replying, Belos stood up. Hunter’s worry increased. He had said something wrong, he had upset his uncle! “I’m sorry,” he stood up as well. “Whatever I said wrong, I didn’t-“

“It’s not your fault, Hunter. I must get back to work.” Belos put his mask back on, and then he was gone. The door shut behind him with a click.

Hunter buried his head in his pillow with a muffled sob. An indignant chirp startled him from his wallowing in self-pity.

“Huh?” he sat up, ramrod straight. “Red?”

“Chirp, chirp chirp chirp tweet,” the little bird palisman replied, hopping from one foot to the other.

Hunter let out a yelp of surprise. “He is not!”

The little bird cocked their head at him. “Chirp chirp tweet, chirp.”

“Alright, maybe that,” he admitted. “Did you listen to that whole conversation?”

“Tweet tweet tweet,” Red swooped down and scooped up the drawings from under the bed. “Tweet chirp chirp chirp tweet.”

“Haha, fine,” Hunter picked up his pencil. “What was the pose you were doing earlier?”

“Tweet chirp tweet tweet tweet,” Red hopped up onto his shoulder and craned their neck towards an unknown source above and in front of Hunter. Somehow he was able to draw it, and it came much easier to him than the other poses Red had struck so far. He even added himself, with the bird on his shoulder. It looked pretty good. He held up the picture to show the little palisman. “What do you think?”

“Chirp,” the birdlike, wooden creature responded. Hunter laughed.

“Okay, but only a few more.”

[spidersfanfics]

Soft

Josuke x Okuyasu | Fluff & Light Angst | Sharing Clothes | Sentient Stands

Okuyasu takes shelter from the rain at Josuke's house. He's just now noticing how soft everything about Josuke is.

"Come on Oku, run!" Josuke called out, fighting to keep his balance on the wet ground. "My house is closer, we'll hide out there." The two were being pursued, not by an enemy stand user for once, but by the oncoming rainstorm that had been threatening to break all day. They'd had the misfortune of getting caught out in it on their way home from school and were now in the process of getting thoroughly soaked. They both raised their schoolbags over their heads, hoping to shield themselves from the rain even a little bit as they ducked their heads and ran. Josuke had a brief thought about the homework that was surely getting soaked but decided ultimately that keeping the water out of his eyes was more important.

By the time they'd reached Josuke's doorstep, the rain was coming down in buckets. "Come on in," Josuke said, grabbing Okuyasu's wrist with one hand and fumbling for his keys with the other.

Okuyasu gave him a hesitant look and debated resisting but didn't even try hard enough to break free of Josuke's grip. "My house isn't that far from here," he said half-heartedly, "I should just go home."

"And get more soaked?" Josuke asked as the door swung open. "You're going to catch a cold or something in that creaky old house of yours. Just stay here for a bit until it clears." He moved to tug Okuyasu inside and this time he did not resist.

The two breathed twin sighs of relief as the door shut behind them. Effectively locking out the weather brewing on the other side. The howling of the wind and the drumming of the rain quieted dramatically in an instant. Josuke shook his head, flinging off droplets of rainwater before calling into the house. "Mom! I'm home! Okuyasu's here too, he's going to stay for a while until the rain stops." Without waiting for a reply, he slipped his shoes off, peeled off his wet socks and began to head upstairs to his room.

Okuyasu followed, feeling somewhat self conscious as Josuke's mom yelled back in response. "As long as you still get your homework done," she called from the kitchen. "Don't take this as an excuse to just play video games all afternoon." There was a pause as she seemed to consider her work at hand. "Will he be staying for dinner?"

Josuke looked at Okuyasu who seemed torn between politely declining and enthusiastically accepting the implied offer of food. So Josuke took it upon himself to answer for him. "Yeah, if you don't mind making some extra for him tonight. That would be great, thanks mom."

"Thank you Mrs. Higashikata," Okuyasu said as well before following Josuke upstairs.

Once the two had reached his room, Josuke opened his bag and started tossing things onto the ground so that they would dry easier. He cringed at the sorry state of his papers and frowned. "Man, this sucks. Do you think Koichi got home okay? He wanted to go somewhere with Yukako today but maybe his stuff isn't as ruined and we can copy off some stuff tomorrow."

"I sure hope so," Okuyasu said, digging around in his bag and revealing that this things were no better off. He looked up to see Josuke shrugging off the jacket of his school uniform and followed suite.

"Just hang that on the back of a chair or something to dry," Josuke told him, barely paying him any mind as he moved over to the full length mirror in his room and pouted at the state of his hair. "Well, that's ruined for the rest of the day," he grumbled. Josuke then turned to Okuyasu still sitting on the edge of the bed and tugging uncomfortably at his wet shirt. "I'm going to go take a shower," he said with a soft smile, "You can too if you'd like."

Okuyasu let his gaze dip down for just a moment at that before flashing a cheeky smile, "Better not."

Josuke let that process for a moment before his eyes widened and he spluttered slightly with a prominent blush on his face. "I didn't mean like that," he stammered, "You can just, I mean, if you want to after I'm done."

Okuyasu laughed, pleased at himself for being able to get his boyfriend so flustered. "I know, I know. It's just fun to tease you. But seriously, I'm fine. If I really need to I can shower when I get home." Josuke nodded and turned to leave but before he could exit the room, Okuyasu called out again. "But I would like to change into something dry. I don't have any clothes here though. Obviously."

"Oh for sure dude," Josuke stifled a laugh at the awkward way Okuyasu had worded that and slid open his closet door on his way out. "Just borrow my clothes for now," he said as he grabbed a towel and headed for the bathroom. "I'll try to be quick. Wear whatever you want." He closed the door behind him and Okuyasu stood at last to move towards the closet.

With some difficulty, he peeled his wet clothes off until he was stripped down to his boxers and surveyed his options. He looked for a moment at the chest of drawers but quickly decided that actually rummaging through Josuke's clothes felt too intimate, even if they were dating now. He'd just take something off the hangers. His eyes landed on a plain blue hoodie shoved to the back that he'd never seen Josuke wear before. With only a moment's hesitation he grabbed it and pulled it over his head. Okuyasu sighed quietly at the warmth of the hoodie as well as its scent. A small part of his mind wondered if that was a weird thing to notice. Though it did smelled nice, mostly like laundry detergent but also like Josuke. He subconsciously wrapped his arms around himself, hugging the soft fabric closer to his body. So soft...

Now for pants. But yet again, the closed drawers sent him into a spiral of overthinking until he decided it was easier if he just skipped on that part for now. He decided to retreat to Josuke's bed and stay there until Josuke returned. With little thought to the matter, he snuggled down under the blankets to warm up further. He tried his best not to think of what Josuke was doing just one room over. Tried to let the sound of the shower just blend into the rain outside and avoid picturing Josuke naked and so close to him yet still so far. It wasn't easy.

At last, the door clicked open once more and Josuke came back into the room. A towel wrapped around his waist and another in his hand as he dried his hair off.

Okuyasu sat up eagerly at Josuke's return. It wasn't the first time he'd seen Josuke with his hair down, nor was it the first time seeing Josuke shirtless. After all, they'd had plenty of sleepovers in the past. But still, it was such a rare occurrence that the sight punched the air from his lungs every time. "Welcome back," he said a little breathlessly.

Josuke looked up and grinned at him though his smile wavered just a little seeing the hoodie that Okuyasu had chosen. "Oh it's that hoodie," he said lightly as he approached the bed

"Yeah, I'd never seen you wear it before so I figured you'd mind less if I wore it?" Okuyasu said, questioning his own logic even as he spoke. "Is there something wrong with this hoodie?"

"Oh no," Josuke shook his head, "Not really. It's just that, it was a birthday gift from my grandpa one year. I haven't worn it since..." he trailed off, "Well, you know. And that was before we met."

Okuyasu gave Josuke a look full of naked concern, "I'm sorry Josuke, I had no idea. If you want I can wear something else."

Josuke cracked a smile and tossed the towel he'd been using to dry his hair at Okuyasu playfully. "Nah, it's fine. It's been long enough anyway and I'm sure he wouldn't want me to be wasting clothing over something like that anyway. Besides, you look nice in it."

"It's just a plain hoodie," Okuyasu blushed.

"Yeah," Josuke agreed, "But it's my hoodie." He leaned in to give Okuyasu a quick kiss before backing off to the closet. "Now let me put on some clothes and I'll join you." He grabbed some pajama pants before letting his remaining towel drop to the floor. Instinctively, Okuyasu looked away, not daring to turn his head back until he felt Josuke's weight dip the bed. "Move over," said Josuke as he climbed up next to Okuyasu. "It's cold out here." Josuke had opted not to put on a shirt and Okuyasu's eyes trailed appreciatively over his boyfriend's well toned abs before throwing the blanket aside to invite Josuke closer to himself. Josuke raised an eyebrow, "No pants?"

Okuyasu blushed, having momentarily forgotten that decision he'd made. "Oh yeah," he stammered, "I felt weird digging through your drawers but you didn't have any pants outside," he tried to explain.

"So you thought not wearing pants at all was better?" Josuke asked, a teasing tone in his voice.

"I may not have thought it through very well," Okuyasu admitted.

Josuke laughed and shifted the two of them on the bed until the blanket was curled around them both in a way that still allowed him to rest his head in Okuyasu's lap. The blanket keeping his still damp hair from making direct contact with Okuyau's bare thighs. "It's fine," he sighed as he relaxed into Okuyasu's warmth and his eyes began to flutter shut. "This is just fine."

Okuyasu looked down at his boyfriend and felt something warm inside his chest. A feeling of happiness and peace. Things he couldn't quite remember feeling until he'd met Josuke, as well as his other friends now like Koichi and Yukako. His hands absentmindedly drifted to rest first by his side and on Josuke's chest. Then drifting closer to Josuke's face, one hand trailing fingers over Josuke's cheek. Okuyasu hesitated for a moment as he stared at Josuke's expression of content. "Hey Josuke..."

"You can play with my hair if you want," Josuke said without opening his eyes.

Okuyasu flinched, his fist clenching on empty air, "Really? You never let anyone touch your hair."

Josuke smiled and looked up at Okuyasu at that. His eyes full of such love that Okuyasu momentarily forgot how to breathe. "It's not styled right now anyway," he said by way of explanation. "Besides, you're my boyfriend. I trust you."

Slowly, like approaching a cat who could unsheathe claws at any moment, Okuyasu let his fingers tangle through Josuke's hair. His breath hitched in his throat as he felt how soft Josuke's hair was after it had just been washed. Soft like his hoodie, soft like his blanket, soft like his smile. "Woah," he breathed.

"Having fun?" Josuke chuckled.

"Don't laugh at me," Okuyasu whined, somewhat embarrassed. "Your hair is just really nice. You should wear it down more." When Josuke only grimaced and didn't answer, Okuyasu hummed and allowed himself to put more pressure into the touch, massaging Josuke's scalp as he did so. "Hey, is it true that you wear your hair like that because of the man who helped you when you were sick? Because you think he's a hero or whatever?"

There was a long moment of silence, the only sound their gentle breathing, before Josuke responded. "More or less yeah," he said, his eyes falling shut once more. "But I don't do it because I think I'm a hero too, or that I want to be a hero. I don't do it to honor him or anything like that. But rather, he was willing to help us out during one of the worst snowstorms I can remember even though he was a complete stranger. I don't know what his motive was exactly but he wanted to help other people for one reason or another. And that's all I really want to do too. Help people in need."

He let out an appreciative hum as Okuyasu continued to play with his hair and paused before continuing his story. "Even when my fever was at its worst. I never thought about the fact that I could have died. All I could think was that I was worrying my mom so much by being sick. Having to raise me on her own couldn't have been easy for her and so I wanted so badly to get better, if only just to make her happy again. I never wanted the people I cared about to be hurting if I could help it."

Okuyasu looked up as Crazy Diamond materialized in front of him. He sat up in bed next to Okuyasu, his ghostly legs intersecting with Okuyasu's to rest under Josuke's head as well. And though his boyfriend's eyes were still closed, Okuyasu could guess that the tears shining in Crazy Diamond's eyes were mirrored in Josuke's. Wordlessly, he allowed The Hand to take form as well, reaching over and patting Crazy Diamond comfortingly on the back. The two stands shared a look, silent but saying more than either of their users could ever guess.

"I think that's why Crazy Diamond manifested the way he did," Josuke spoke up again and Okuyasu wasn't sure if he was even aware that his stand had been summoned. "All my life I'd only ever wanted to protect and heal other people," Josuke admitted. "Looking up to my grandpa, seeing how hard my mom worked. My own needs have always been secondary. So along came Crazy Diamond. Able to fix anything other than his own user." He grunted slightly in discomfort and Okuyasu loosened his grip on Josuke's hair with a bit of a jolt.

He hadn't even noticed how much his fists were clenching. "What do you think my stand represents then?" He asked.

Josuke rolled over to lay on his side so that his face was mere inches away from Okuyasu's stomach and he curled up closer to his boyfriend. "I dunno," he said, his voice slightly muffled- No, just softer. "That's up to you to decide I guess."

Okuyasu thought about it for a long time, "I think at the time, when I was manifesting The Hand, my biggest wish was that I could make all my problems disappear. Get rid of everything bad in my life and just not think about it again. So that's probably what my stand means. The ability to erase anything I wanted, and even I don't know where it goes after that."

"What about now?" Josuke asked, "Do you still want to run away?"

Okuyasu smiled, "Not with you by my side. Now I want to bring everything good in my life closer to me and fight off whatever tries to hurt them."

"You tried that trick with me when we first met," Josuke pointed out, "Bringing me closer. But that was more to punch me than to protect me I guess."

"Maybe The Hand just already knew what was in store for us, better than I knew myself," Okuyasu joked and Josuke laughed. A bright, happy sound that sent butterflies fluttering in Okuyasu's stomach.

"Yeah, maybe," Josuke agreed. For a moment he seemed tempted to say more but before he could, he was interrupted by Tomoko's voice shouting up from downstairs.

"Dinner's ready!" She yelled. "Come help set the table, Josuke."

Josuke sat up with a sigh and Okuyasu untangled his hand from Josuke's hair. Josuke in turn slid off the bed while Crazy Diamond went into the closet to retrieve a shirt for Josuke and a pair of pants for Okuyasu. "Come on," said Josuke, "Let's go eat." He looked out his bedroom window, "The rain's stopped too. So you can go home after dinner." Though the statement wasn't a question, the tone of Josuke's voice made it almost sound like one. As if he was silently asking Okuyasu to stay instead.

As tempting as it was, Okuyasu shook his head and recalled The Hand who disappeared but only after giving its user a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder. "Sounds good, Josuke," Okuyasu said as he put on the pants that he'd been handed. "Let's go."

[nugnthopkns]

don’t say you miss me

word count: 5.5k

warnings: explicit!fem reader, references to sex but nothing explicit, cursing, recreational drug use (marijuana), alcohol consumption, there is no happy ending

recommended listening: overnight | maggie rogers

series masterpost: here

a/n: second installment of hiiapl! little overnight inspired ditty that i’m actually pretty proud of. i’m having so much fun with this it’s insane

You had never meant to get attached.

It was a lot easier said than done – especially with Kevin. He was loud and obnoxious, sure, but it was part of his charm. When you first met him, outside a club in downtown Winnipeg, you were blown away by his duality. He had been so loud with his group but quietly brought you a bottle of water after you puked on the sidewalk. After insisting you take his number so you could let him know you got home safely, Kevin convinced you to go to dinner with him. One meal turned into several and before you knew it you were engaged in a casual fling with the Winnipeg Jets’ newest centre. It was mostly sex, with the ocasional interaction outside of the bedroom, but something about Kevin made it feel like more than just a hookup. Over the few months you slept together your feelings shifted, and you began to harbour a rather large crush.

Just when you were going to take the leap and talk to Kevin about getting serious fate reared its ugly head. After only being in Winnipeg for six months, electing to not return to Massechusettes right away after the Jets playoff run finished, Kevin was traded out of the city. The news split your heart in two – there was no way the two of you could become a couple. Though long distance could have been an option, you weren’t going to ask him to commit to that. Being a professional athlete is tough as is, and having a girlfriend a six hour flight away was extra stress you refused to put on Kevin. 

The last night you spent with Kevin was emotional. Lots of tears were shed, mostly from you. You knew he was compartmentalizing it all and trying to not let you know how much the trade was affecting him. Whenever the two of you had talked about hockey, Kevin was always quick to mention how much he loved Winnipeg and how much he wanted to stay. Neither of you talked much, too focussed on wallowing in sadness and committing each other’s bodies to memory. He left the next morning, and there was a silent agreement that whatever the two of you had was over. It was fun while it lasted but now you both have to be adults and get on with life. 

☼☼☼☼

Nearly six months later you consider yourself to be getting on with life just fine. You’ve got a better paying job, a new apartment, and enthusiastically throw yourself into any project that’s presented. To others, however, you’re barely hanging on. Any time you get a text notification, you hold your breath until a name flashes that isn’t Kevin’s. A notification from Instagram saying he viewed your story makes your heart beat three times as fast. You constantly check for updates on how he’s playing, and watch as many Flyers games media blackouts will allow just to catch a glimpse of his face. No matter how hard you try, you just can’t shake Kevin Hayes. 

“They’ll be in town this weekend,” your best friend Rachel says. “Are you gonna reach out to him?”

You nearly drop the carton of chinese food you’re eating on the floor. “I didn’t know that,” you stammer, trying to make your surprise believable. Kevin will be back in Winnipeg for the first time since being traded. You knew this already, of course, because you have the Flyers scheduled imprinted in your memory.

She narrows her eyes at you. “Don’t fucking lie to me. You knew they were coming to town. The NHL app stays open on your phone at all times.”

Caught in your lie, you can do nothing but duck your head. You’ve thought a lot about what you’re going to do. Should you send him a text, let him know you’re available after the game? Or should you ignore him completely and make it seem as though you’re doing much better than you are?

“I don’t know Rach. I’ve never had a sort of ex come back to the city he left me in.”

“He didn’t necessarily want to leave you,” Rachel points out. “He got traded. If you want my two cents, I don’t think you should give him a call. You need to move on, not stay stuck in the past.”

Your friend is right, and you know that’s what you should do. Moving on from Kevin would be easier if you didn’t try to contact him. He hasn’t reached out to you so you assume you’re the only one in the relationship still struggling to come to terms with his departure. You struggle with the decision until puck drop, but ultimately decide against texting him. It simply wouldn’t be beneficial for your fragile heart. 

A small group of friends has gathered at Rachel’s to watch the game. You’re lucky, or unlucky, to run with a crowd of die-hard Jets fans who get together any time they play, whether it’s at someone’s house or a sports bar around the corner from the arena. Though you tried your best to get out of it tonight, making up any excuse you can think of to stay at home and sob quietly into a pillow, Rachel knows better than to let you be alone and forces you to be in attendance. 

It’s a pretty quiet game with the Jets dominating the first two periods. The Flyers are sluggish, not connecting passes and taking far too many penalties. You’re pretty sure Winnipeg has it in the bag when the puck drops for the final twenty minutes of play, so you turn your attention away from the television, picking up a conversation with Christina, the girl your friend Tyler brought along. 

Some choice words must have been said to the Flyers in the intermission because they come out swinging. Before you can comprehend what’s happening, they’ve tied the game. The period is full of contact, with multiple players from each team spending time in the penalty box. Your attention is once again returned to the large screen for the final few minutes, and your jaw drops as you watch Kevin dangle through the Jets defence to sink the puck into the back of the net. It turns out to be the game winning goal, and you sit in silence as your friends pay up the money they lost in bets and check their updated fantasy pool standings. Maybe you should text him. 

“Don’t fucking do it,” you hear Rachel whisper in your ear. Your other friends know of your past with Kevin, they were around and spent some time with him, but they don’t know how much you were still holding on. Everyone besides Rachel assumes you’re alright – that Kevin is just a blip in your past. 

You roll your eyes and sigh, but tuck your phone back into the pocket of your jeans. It stays there – out of sight, out of mind – until it buzzes some time later. Expecting it to be your mother hounding you for not calling in a while, you pull it out. A message from Kevin flashes and you go whiter than a ghost. 

Taking the boys out celebrating the big win. You in? 

The words, so casual, feel like a punch to the stomach. Why the months of radio silence just to ask to see him like you’re friends? Making sure that no one is paying attention to you, you quickly type out a reply. 

That’s not a good idea and you know it Kevin. 

You send the message and immediately turn off your phone. This way you won’t have to deal with the aftermath until much later. You allow other things to hold your attention and don’t head home until you’re so tired that it will be impossible for you to think about Kevin’s text. 

When you power your phone back up in the morning, you’re shocked to find that Kevin never responded. He obviously didn’t care too much about your absence, and part of you wonders if he was just being polite. It doesn’t make sense, but instead of letting your brain overthink the lack of response you throw yourself headfirst into cleaning your apartment. Hours later it’s spotless, and you slump onto the couch in a pile of exhaustion. You check your social media notifications, a few mentions from your friends about the shenanigans you all got up to the night before and your sister tagging you in a post letting you know she’d like to visit a specific beach the next time she comes to visit. Kevin’s profile photo sits at the top of your instagram feed, and before you can stop yourself you click to view his story. 

It’s a snapshot of his teammates with bright smiles on their faces. Each of them is holding a can of beer, and a few look as though they shared a joint before entering the establishment. The photo is captioned ‘glad to be back in winterpeg’ and is accompanied by a couple of snowflake emojis. Your heart clenches inside your chest – it hurts more than you thought it would to see him enjoying himself as though he has no bittersweet feelings about being back. It would be beneficial to unfollow Kevin, but you can’t force yourself to pull the metaphorical trigger and completely cut him from your life. 

Kevin leaves the next day for Vancouver. You know this because you watch his story yet again, and curse yourself for grasping at straws. Why must he have such a strong hold on you after so long? A call to Rachel has her driving to your place in minutes, ready to hold you while you cry and distract you from the pain that still lingers from his first departure.

☼☼☼☼

It’s easier to forget Kevin without him being in the city – you do your best, and eventually it sort of sticks.

He no longer crosses your mind every few days. You go weeks, sometimes a month or two, without thinking about him. It’s nice to no longer get sad when you enter a bar you frequented with him or wince when someone mentions how he’s playing. It also helps that he never returns to Winnipeg. 

There’s no reason for him to. The Flyers don’t play another away game against the Jets the rest of season, and as far as you know he doesn’t frequently talk to his old teammates. Your life fades into a quiet routine you come to love dearly. The world feels balanced for the first time since Kevin left and you’re nothing but thankful. 

Life moves on, and you find yourself succeeding in your career – so much so that you’re quickly offered a promotion. The change increases your workload and doesn’t leave you much of a life outside of work, but it doesn’t matter much to you. It’s a welcome distraction and keeps thoughts of Kevin out of your mind. No one comments on your genuine improvement, but you know they can see it. Rachel is proud, and she’s told you exactly once. It’s all you’ll get out of her so you take it and roll with it. The rest of the regular season passes without you so much as knowing, or caring, and before you know it there’s a notification for an article saying the Flyers were eliminated in the second round. For the first time you find it really hard to care.

☼☼☼☼

Summers in Winnipeg are your favourite. The city is warm for the first time all year and the flowers look beautiful in full bloom. With the promotion you’re afforded more vacation time, which you plan to take full advantage. There’s nothing you love more than hanging with friends in the sun, soaking up the rays, and casually drinking. 

The days bleed into one another in the way that all good summers should, and before you realize it it’s your last day at work for a week. It will be nice to be free from workplace constraints for a while, and your friends have the time off as well. The group of you are heading to a cabin on Falcon Lake where you’re sure lots of partying will take place. You suggested getting farther away, but settled on the area in case Tyler’s sister goes into labour. He’s a very family oriented person and offered to watch his nephew when the time comes. 

Four o’clock comes faster than you ever could have imagined, and you cheerfully wave goodbye to your co-workers. Some complain of your ability to leave during the busiest season of the year, but most of them wish you well. You put an immense amount of work into your job regardless of the quarter and know you deserve the break. If you don’t stop at the grocery store on your way you’ll be in trouble since you’re in charge of all the breakfasts and you currently only have a half-eaten loaf of bread that could go stale any day. 

You’re in the cereal aisle, deciding whether or not you really need Honey Nut Cheerios for the trip, when you hear his unforgettable voice. It’s loud and booming and brings back so many feelings that you’ve learned to repress that you turn on your heel and head to the nearest self checkout despite only gathering half the items on your list.

Back in your car, you dial Rachel’s number and try to regulate your breathing. 

“Hello?”

You don’t bother with any formalities. “Kevin is here.”

“In Winnipeg?” she asks, more than a tad confused. “Why would he be in Winnipeg?”

The interior of the Ford Escape you drive feels too small, so you crack a window and peel out of the parking space. Rachel’s voice reverberates throughout the car thanks to the bluetooth system. “I don’t fucking know, but he’s here.”

“I don’t think that’s possible Y/N,” Rachel says, always the realist. “He lives in Boston. What would he be doing in Winnipeg in the middle of July?”

You aren’t sure, and make sure to tell her so. “But it was him,” you swear. “He was in the grocery store.” You stop at a red light, placing your blinker on and checking both ways before turning right. A few more minutes and you’d be safely tucked away in your apartment, away from the world and the possibility of running into Kevin.

“There’s like a hundred tall gingers in the city babe, you didn’t see him.”

“You’re right, I didn’t see him,” you agree. “I heard him. How many tall gingers are there in Winnipeg with Boston accents?”

“Oh fuck. I’m coming over.” With that, Rachel hangs up, and you pull into the parking garage. You sit in silence for a minute or two before deciding your shaking legs can hold you upright. Perhaps you weren’t as over Kevin as you thought. 

Rachel spends the rest of the afternoon and evening with you, ensuring you don’t do anything stupid and letting you spew all your feelings, both good and bad. More than one bottle of wine is consumed, but you have more than enough time to nurse a hangover. If you play your cards right through the week this won’t be the only time you do it either. 

You wake up on top of your pristine sheets, Rachel grumbling beside you – she’s never been as good at holding her alcohol.

“What time is it?”

The alarm clock on your bedside table flashes a few numbers and you have to stare at them for a minute before you comprehend them. “Just after eight,” you say, sitting up. Surprisingly, you feel fine. Maybe the crippling weight of your feelings for Kevin cancels out the hangover you most definitely should be feeling. 

“We need to get going. Gotta pack the car and hit the road. I’m the one who needs to get the keys so we have to be there before everyone else,” she sighs, grumbling something else under her breath as her feet hit the floor. 

You just laugh at her and head into the kitchen. While Rachel showers you make coffee and pack the food into the ancient cooler your father gave you when you moved out many moons ago. It has served its purpose on several trips like this – you’ll be sad to see it go eventually. You switch places with Rachel, and once you’re feeling refreshed the two of you stuff your trunk and hit the road. 

The drive is rather uneventful, with the both of you sitting in silence, and it doesn’t take you long to approach your destination. Rachel is a poor navigator so you’re tasked with figuring out where you’re going and making sure you get there, but it could be worse. You have a general sense of where you’re going. Getting the keys is painless and you get to work unpacking your overloaded SUV.

“Do you think there will be other people around we can party with?” Rachel asks as you close the trunk for the last time. 

You shrug. “Don’t know Rach. It doesn’t look like it.”

She drops it, agreeing with you, and you separate to unpack your personal belongings. The cabin is large enough that no one has to share a room, which you’re grateful for. Though you love your friends dearly, they don’t always know what personal space is. At some point in the afternoon the rest of the group trickles in, and by dinner you’ve all settled and are ready to party. 

Tyler figures out how to use the ancient barbeque and sets to work cooking the burgers. Everyone else gets side dishes ready or sets the table, with Christine starting a bonfire. You don’t know her well, only having met her a few times, but your friend seems to be infatuated with her. She fits in great with the group so you aren’t worried about any awkward tension. Dinner passes in a fit of giggles and shouts, and once the dishes are done you can relax fully. 

The beer you grab from the fridge on your way out the door makes your insides fuzzy in the best way possible. By the fire, surrounded by those who care about you the most, you feel at peace. You’re yet to think about the sudden reappearance of Kevin in Winnipeg, and you’d like to keep it that way. Someone grabs the beat up acoustic guitar you found in the living room and thrusts it in your direction. You’d taught yourself to play in college, and it comes in handy for times like this. 

“I refuse to play Wonderwall,” you laugh, shooting pointed looks at each and every person sitting around you. 

“Come on Y/N,” Rachel groans. “Just once?”

“Fuck off.”

You don’t mean it, of course, and strum the opening chords with a grimace on your face. Tyler counts everyone in and they sing for you, which is appreciated. You might be decent at playing, but your singing voice is one that shouldn’t see the light of day if it can be helped. It’s more fun than you imagined it could be so one song turns into three, and before you know it your makeshift jamboree attracts the attention of the neighbours you didn’t know existed. 

Applause erupts from behind you, and you flush enough that your cheeks warm significantly. “You guys are so good I hate to disrupt the rhythm,” a deep voice says, “But do you mind if a buddy and I join you? We’re a little lonely by ourselves next door.”

Tyler’s out of his seat in a heartbeat, jumping up to pat the man on the back. “Of course man, come on over! I’m Tyler, and that’s Rachel, Christine, Marshall, and Y/N.”

You all wave politely, and the mystery guest introduces himself. “Nice you meet you guys. I’m Nolan.”

It’s then you get a good look at who you’re speaking to. He seems to be a few years younger than you, maybe early twenties, and he has a face you just can’t place. Maybe you’ve seen him around Winnipeg – the city is small enough that you can often spot the same faces in a crowd. “I’ll just yell at him to come over and we can get the party started,” Nolan explains, “Kev, bud, come on over! And bring a couple beers.”

All the blood rushes from your fingers at the name. You shake them intensely, willing your circulatory system to function properly again. If you had to hazard a guess there’s probably a million people in Manitoba named Kevin. There’s no reason for it to be Kevin Hayes. You’re most certainly still spooked from your near encounter with him yesterday. 

“Fuck Patty, you couldn’t come back and grab your own?” the emerging figure grumbles in the vocal stylings you’ll have imprinted on your heart until your dying day. Kevin is here, and if you don’t leave in the next few seconds you’ll be face to face with him for the first time in over a year. 

You stand abruptly, not stopping to explain your hasty exit to anyone, and practically run into the house. The door slams behind you and you do your best to make your heart rate return to normal. Tyler shouts something you can’t quite comprehend, but you know it’s probably some sort of reconnection greeting. He’d met Kevin a couple of times while the two of you were together and had gotten along with him well. 

“Hey,” Rachel whispers, “You good?”

You hadn’t heard her come in. “Not really,” you admit. “I mean like I knew he was in town but never in a million years did I think he’d crash my fucking vacation.”

She nods in agreement. “What do you want to do?”

“Stay in here forever?” An eye roll is sent your way but you choose to ignore it. “I’m serious Rach, I can’t go back out there, at least not tonight. Every time I think I’m over him he finds a way to make me realize I’m just faking.”

“I know,” Rachel says simply. She really does – as your best friend she’s privy to your every thought on the matter. After making sure that you'll be okay she heads back outside, armed with an excuse for your early departure. 

You spend the rest of the night tucked under the covers, listening to the laughter of your friends outside, no doubt in your mind that Kevin is the source for most of it. He’s always been good at commanding an audience. Thoughts swim freely in your brain, most of them occupied by Kevin in some capacity. Was tonight just a one off? Will you have to eventually face him? What will you say? Eventually sleep comes, though it’s fitful and fleeting. 

☼☼☼☼

You do your best to avoid Kevin, and it works for a day or two. Tyler has stricken up a friendship with the athlete, and spends more time with him and Nolan than your group. You don’t mind all that much because they typically are out on Nolan’s boat or lounging in their cabin, but every night the group reconvenes at your firepit. The excuses are starting to run out – there’s only so many times you can say you have heat exhaustion before someone stops believing you.

“Y/N, Kevin hasn’t even mentioned you,” Tyler whines one night after dinner. “It won’t be awkward. We only have a few days left, please spend time with us?”

“I’m spending plenty of time with you,” you grumble. “You promise he won’t say anything?”

Tyler shoots you a smile that lets you know he knows that he’s broken down your resolve. “Why would he? If he was going to do it he would have already.”

You aren’t sure if that makes you feel better or worse. You’re glad he’s faring better than you, but on the other hand you wish he’d at least make an effort to inquire into your well-being. Maybe it was simply proof that you were still holding onto something that didn’t mean much of anything. Eventually you’d have to face the music, whether it be with Kevin or someone in the future, so you make the decision to try and at least get used to seeing former flames in social settings. 

“You’re rolling my joints tonight asshole,” you grumble, shoving your sock clad feet into a pair of worn out sandals. 

There’s a small commotion, mostly in excitement at your begrudging agreement, and you roll your eyes as you grab what is destined to be your first of many beers from the fridge. Rachel slides up beside you on the way out the door and squeezes your hand, letting you know she’s ready to support you no matter what happens. It’s comforting, and the nerves in your stomach settle a small amount. 

Marshall is already outside, helping Nolan start the fire. They seem to be extremely similar and you’re glad they can seek each other out when the rest of the group gets too rambunctious. The rest of your party filters out of the house and takes up residence in the adirondack chairs. Kevin doesn’t appear to be around, so you allow yourself to speak freely, loud and unabashed. 

“No I’m telling you,” you insist, trying to convince Nolan your stance on Jack Antonoff is correct. “Jack is literally responsible for reinventing pop production.”

He laughs at how into the conversation you are. “Why the fuck should I care?”

“Because you fucking listen to Lorde!” 

Someone else is laughing along with you and it nearly stops you in your tracks. At some point Kevin had joined the party, but you hadn’t noticed. Knowing that he was listening makes you suddenly self conscious, and you wrap your sweater tighter around your shoulders. Nolan can tell you’re uncomfortable and does his best to relieve the tension. 

“Kev, do you wanna run back and grab the weed?” he asks. 

The auburn haired man pulls a baggie out of his hoodie pocket. “Got it right here baby cat,” he grins. “And it’s ready to go. You got a light?”

Nolan tosses him the lighter and Kevin expertly puts the joint between his parted lips. He lets the smoke fill his lungs before exhaling, and you watch him more intently than you should. You’re thrown back to the memories of Kevin’s apartment downtown, where you’d smoke in content silence after a night of passionate sex. The scenes flash in your mind and you’re overcome with melancholia. You had been so happy in the moment, and now you’re in a similar situation but feel nothing. Other than sharing in your laughter, Kevin is yet to say anything to you. 

You must have been lost in your thoughts, because Kevin is staring at you with a quizzical expression. “Y/N? Do you want a hit?”

It takes you a second to snap out of your daze, but to cautiously take the lit joint from his hand. “Thank you Kevin,” you say, voice timid. It’s the first time you’ve spoken to him since he left Winnipeg for the first time. 

He shoots you a dazzling smile and your insides threaten to turn to mush. No matter how hard you’ve tried to convince yourself you over him, that you’ve moved on from Kevin, you know you’re wrong. Kevin Hayes will have some sort of hold on you until you die. To distract yourself from the overwhelming amount of emotion you inhale deeply, hoping that the buzz smoking will bring can clear your mind. You really don’t want to think about what you lost when he’s right in front of you. 

The three of you sit in silence, passing the joint in a circle, and listen to the conversation your friends are engaged in. Marshall ropes Nolan into a game of cornhole and he goes begrudgingly. As he stands he sends you a sympathetic look, and you know that he’s familiar with your history with Kevin. It doesn’t surprise you – Kevin isn’t exactly one to keep secrets. 

“So,” Kevin says once it’s just the two of you, “How have you been?”

You do your best to swallow the lump in your throat. “I’ve been good. Work has been crazy lately, so this break has been really nice.”

He presses, and you indulge him in a conversation about your new job, though it can barely be considered that now. Everything is surface level – you’re afraid of letting Kevin in too much. Though your fling may have been brief, it didn’t make his departure or the lack of contact any easier. He tells you about his life in Philadelphia and how much he loves it there. Before you can stop yourself, you ask him a loaded question. 

“Do you like it more than Winnipeg?”

Kevin falters. It takes both of you a moment to process what you said. Not one to lie, he answers truthfully. “Yeah.” It comes out in a sort of deflated sigh. “But I miss –”

“Don’t say it,” you rush, trying hard to keep your voice down. “You don’t mean it.”

An embittered huff comes from him, and you watch carefully as he peels the worn ball cap off his head and tugs on his curls. “I do,” he insists. “I absolutely miss you.”

You no longer care who can hear you. “If you missed me, you would have texted. Called. Anything,” you say cooly. Everyone else has clued in to the fact that something is going on between you and Kevin, and have migrated inside in an attempt to give you privacy.

“I did. You’re the one who said it wasn’t a good idea to see each other again.”

“Because it had been over half a year!” you shriek. “And it had been radio silence before then. You left Kevin, and I’m not blaming you. I know it’s your job. But you left and it was so fucking hard, and it stung because you didn’t even try. So when you hit me up after that game I knew I had to say no. Because no matter how much I try to convince myself otherwise, I’m still so in love with you that if you asked I’d uproot my life and follow you to Philly. I don’t want to be that girl.”

The outburst leaves you gasping for breath. Never before had you spilled heartache so fast – with a sort of reckless abandon. Anytime you’ve had these types of conversations you’ve been calm and collected. You’re currently the farthest thing from it. 

Kevin’s expression softens, and a sadness fills his eyes. “I was scared,” he begins, “Because for the first time in my life I was with someone I could see spending the rest of my life with. Sure, we weren’t serious, but I was going to take it there. Then I got traded and the plans I had went to shit and I was too scared to do anything about it. So I let you slip away.”

Silence fills the space between you. You don’t know what to say, so you focus on unraveling the loose thread from the hem of your cardigan. Kevin shuffles in his seat awkwardly. “Where do we, uh, go from here?”

The question shocks you. To the best of your understanding, you had made it perfectly clear where your relationship was headed. “Nowhere,” you breathe. “You head back to Philly, meet another girl, and fall in love. I stay here, do my job, and learn to be content with myself.”

“There’s no room for us in your little plan?”

“We’ve run our course Kev. As much as I still love you, will always love you, we’re too fundamentally different for us both to really be happy in a relationship. You have to know that.”

He nods. “I do.” With that, Kevin rises from the chair, gives you a sad smile, and leaves. You assume he’s calling it a night, and you wish to do the same. Finally having that conversation was exhausting and all you want to do is sleep for the next twelve hours. 

☼☼☼☼

The rest of the trip passes without you seeing Kevin again. He and Nolan left early the morning after your conversation, and you do your best to enjoy yourself. Part of your brain makes you believe you’re the reason they left, though Tyler tells you otherwise. No one asks about what happened between you two, not even Rachel, and you return to the city determined to start anew. Eventually you break the cycle of obsessing over Kevin’s stats, and take it upon yourself to unfollow him on social media. Life goes on. 

Things never really get easier. You still find yourself grieving the loss of Kevin, late at night when you can’t sleep, but are confident in your decision to say goodbye for good. Time heals everything, and eventually you’ll be okay. 

☼☼☼☼

taglist: @jamiedrysdales​ @kiedhara​ @tortito​ @boqvistsbabe​ @iwantahockeyhimbo​ if you want to be added just shoot me an ask :)

[nattikay]

So I saw this post while browsing toa tags the other day. While I don’t think being obsessed with the school mascot automatically makes Toby a furry (though it is funny to joke about lol) since “being a furry” actually just means “being a fan of anthropomorphic animals” and doesn’t necessarily require any form of costuming or interest in such, it did get me thinking, hmmm...if he was a furry, what would his fursona be? 🤔 And from there I started wondering what Jim’s and Claire’s would be as well because y not ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  

BUT WAIT, I hear you say--haven’t you already drawn the trio as werewolves and wolfwalkers etc.? Wouldn’t those be their fursonas??

Well yes....but actually no.

I guess it’s a little hard to explain, but there’s a nuance between “[person] but as an animal” and a proper “fursona”. While a fursona is an animal character used to represent its person, it doesn’t have to physically resemble them at all as you would expect [person]-but-as-[animal] to. For example, if you were to design me but as a cat, you’d probably give it light brown fur and green eyes like I have irl. But my fursona, unlike my human self, actually has blue fur and purple eyes. You can give your fursona matching physical traits to your own if you want to, and some people do, but most use only a pinch of their irl appearance, if any at all.

The choices people make when designing their fursonas vary wildly from “it looks like me irl” to “it looks like who I want to be”  to “I just really like this color scheme” to “this particular color/marking holds deep personal meaning to me” to “this particular pattern represents a particular defining moment in my life” to “idk it looks cool and i vibe with it” etc. etc. etc. Everyone has different reasons of varying depth for the decisions they make in designing their fursona.

Therefore, to design a fursona for Toby etc., it’s less a question of “what would this character look like as [insert species here]?” and more of “how would this character choose to present himself with his own [animal] character?”

And that’s a much trickier game than just transferring a character aesthetic to a new species. ^^; We have to kinda dive into the characters and makes some guesses about how they, if given infinite creative freedom to design an animal avatar with no rules or limits, would choose to present themselves.

So all that said, here’s what I came up with:

Starting with Toby because he’s the one who inspired the post. I think Toby might choose a wolfdog fursona. A lot of people who choose wolves as fursonas consider themselves to be overwhelmingly loyal to their friends, a trait that fits Toby very well. However, while Toby likes to be “cool”, I don’t think he really thinks of himself as much of an “alpha” type--he’s more of a sidekick, and he knows that, and he’s ok with that. He’s the wingman. So what better way to incorporate that than to add dog into the mix? Man’s best friend=Jim’s best friend. Sociable, humorous, and unwaveringly loyal. Wolfdog it is!

With the species decided, we can move on to the design itself.

I can’t imagine any form of Toby in anything other than warm colors. This is extra emphasized by the flamelike patterns on his legs and tail, which both speaks to his desire to be totally awesome-sauce as well as acts as an allusion to his flaming warhammer. It’s fairly common (not universal, but common) for people to give their fursonas a more “ideal” physique than the person actually has as a sort of way to live by proxy physical goals or fantasies they’ve been unable to attain irl for whatever reason. Given that we’ve seen Toby struggle with fitness from time to time, it wouldn’t shock me to see him take this route. His wolfdog self is still relatively short and stocky, but it’s all muscle, babey. 

This fursona is strong, fun, boisterous, and generally just kicks butt. Concentrated awesomesauce flows through his veins. Just don't mess with his friends, or you’ll feel the flames!

.

Moving on to Jim. Jim was the hardest to nail down, and most definitely the hardest to keep my personal biases out of oof. Which I may have failed to do anways because yes, ok, I made my favorite character a blue feline, sue me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  But hear me out first!

For Jim I ultimately settling on a cheetah/lion hybrid.

Cheetahs, in a way, are sort of the underdogs (er...cats?) of the feline world--at least, in their local ecosystems. They are built wholly for speed, not strength--and as such, just about every other large predator in their environment has them beat when it comes to raw strength. Remind you of a certain Trollhunter? plus the long lanky legs. don’t forget those lol

However, because of this disadvantage, cheetahs...usually surrender. They know it’s not worth it to defend their kill from larger, stronger opponents, so they’ll give it up and just catch something else. This aspect doesn’t quite fit our protective, selfless protagonist all too eager to risk everything to save his loved ones--so a pure cheetah may not be the right choice.

So what animal is brave and protective? That’s where the lion part comes in, of course!

Why not just make him a pure lion? Well, a little similar to making Toby a wolfdog instead of a pure wolf. A straight-up lion feels a little too “chad” for our sweet Jimbo. Too much of a jock. 

Jim has the humble underdog nature of a cheetah as well as the bravery and fierce protective drive of a lion. Cheelion? Leetah? idk, but let’s design it!

Like Toby and warm colors, I don’t think I can possibly associate Jim with any color but blue. While it’s never directly stated, given that we’ve never really seen him wear any other color (with the exception of the Eclipse armor), I think it’s pretty safe to assume that that’s his favorite. Blue sweater, blue jeans, blue shoes, even his backpack and bedsheets are blue. So naturally, his fursona would be predominantly blue as well! Plus some yellowish accents to (somewhat) match the natural colors of his chosen species(s).

I imagine he originally designed the character without horns, but then added them after becoming the Trollhunter, since it became such a major and impactful aspect of his life.

His lion’s mane also continues down his back in imitation of the “mantle” found on baby cheetahs. This youthful feature could subtly represent the fact that he’s been forced to grow up too fast and take on so much responsibility so young--so his fursona can still be young and carefree as long as he likes even while his real self struggles with the weight of the world on his shoulders.

This fursona is relaxed, calm, and confident. He’s not just cool--he’s crispy!

.

Lastly but not leastly, we have Claire. Out of the three, I think Claire was actually the easiest to choose--or at least, I had the clearest idea of what I thought she might go for.

Claire is a bit of an interesting duck, because while she’s shown to be fairly popular at school, she’s definitely far from the stereotype of The Popular Girl™. Yes she’s smart and pretty, but she’s also a little spunky or even a bit quirky--she’s a theatre kid, she’s a huge fan of hard rock band Papa Skull, and while I wouldn’t quite call her “rebellious” per se, she’s certainly willing to bend some rules if she feels the situation calls for it (not telling her parents that she was going to the concert with Steve, literally sneaking into Jim’s basement to try to find out what was up with him, etc).

That said, I think Claire might go for a hyena fursona--something a little out of the box, but not totally out of left field. (she also shows a slight Gurl Power™ streak here and there “the staff was not meant to be wielded by man--” “I am not a man!!!”) and if you know anything about hyenas...well, yeah lol)

I think Claire would lean into her punk-rock “rebellious” side with her fursona design. This character is completely free of the pressure of being the councilwoman’s daughter and having to maintain her mother’s public reputation, and thus allows Claire to express a less restrained side of herself. She has a bold semi-edgy color scheme with bright accents (and some earrings to match her person’s hair clips) while still remaining feminine and (her own brand of) fashionable. 

This fursona is spunky and sassy; she’s spicy and sweet all rolled up into one. She knows what she wants and she’s not afraid to chase it down. She lives her own life and she’s dang proud of it.

.

....sooooo yeah there’s my take on what Toby’s, Jim’s, and Claire’s fursonas could hypothetically be. And I guess since this post was inspired by a joke about Toby’s infatuation with the school mascot, here’s just some quick thoughts on how they might approach fursuiting to end us off:

Jim I don’t see as much of a suiter. He might try it once or twice if given the opportunity, but at the end of the day it’s not really his cup of tea--he’d rather act as the “handler” for his friends, if anything.

Toby and Claire, on the other hand, I could definitely see as suiters. In fact, with her interest in acting, Claire would probably particularly enjoy it--she’d be one of those suiters who really gets into character, absolutely refuses to break the magic publicly (outside of any actual medical emergency), and popular at cons because she just performs so well. 

Toby, meanwhile, would be the more chill type--uses his normal voice in-suit, isn’t really too stressed about “breaking the magic”, just kinda hanging around like he would normally except “look I’m a talking dog, cool right?”. 

also while I was typing this it occurred to be that since Eli is canonically a cosplayer then he could be a fursuiter as well; in his case i imagine he actually made his own suit it’s a protogen and it’s full of little LEDs and other electric gadgets, it’s not the prettiest thing ever as sewing is not his forte but boy did he try!! good for him. good for him

[smilesthroughfandoms]

Every single episode of Ducktales (2017) Summarized in Roughly in One Sentence or Less!

Thank you Frank and team so much for introducing this family to a new generation of kids while remaining faithful to your source material. I hope you all enjoy my attempts at humor!

Woo-oo!: We don’t really know what’s going on yet but let’s do this!

Escape To/From Atlantis!: “Well I’m wearing a kilt McDuck! A kiiiilt!”

Daytrip of Doom!: They’re all siblings now and I love them all.

The Great Dime Chase!: “Shut up, everyone! I’ve done something brilliant!” (Also: Guess’s who my favorite character is?)

The Beagle Birthday Breakout!: Lena and Webby are best girls, fight me on this

Terror of the Terra-firmians!: This is the Spoopiest episode and also the most heartwarming.

The House of the Lucky Gander!: He’s an asshole but I love him.

The Infernal Internship of Mark Beaks!: He’s an even bigger asshole but I love him.

The Living Mummies of Toth-Ra!: I too would do anything for a good burrito.

The Impossible Summit of Mt. Neverrest!: “If I had a nickel for every person who cursed me with their dying breath, I’d be twice as rich as I already am.”

The Spear of Selene!: Of course Scrooge showed up freaking Zeus.

Beware the B.U.D.D.Y System!: The fusion of Iron Man and Sailor Moon I never knew I always wanted.

The Missing Links of Moorshire!: I always knew My Little Pony had a deadly fandom but this is ridiculous…

Mystery at McDuck Manor!: Took you long enough, Duckworth, welcome back.

Jaw$!: In this house, we love and respect Tiffany. (Also: Whoever came up with this episode title is the coolest person ever)

The Golden Lagoon of White Agony Plains!: Scrooge and Glomgold are in love with Allison Janney, and honestly, same.

Day of the Only Child!: Doofus is even creepier than Lil’ Gideon, and that is saying something.

From the Confidential Casefiles of Agent 22!: *hums James Bond theme intensely to myself*

Who is Gizmoduck?!: He’s not throwing away his shot! (I’m sorry, I had to)

The Other Bin of Scrooge McDuck!: I love Louie in this episode, he’s such a mood.

Sky Pirates… in the Sky!: The Pirates of the Caribbean meets High School Music crossover starring evil Panchito I never knew I needed.

The Secret(s) of Castle McDuck!: We’re all Webby in this episode.

The Last Crash of the Sunchaser!: *ugly sobbing*

The Shadow War, Part 1: Night of De Spell!: Donald finally gets the love he deserves.

The Shadow War Part 2: Day of the Ducks!: *spoiler warning* How is she still alive?!?!?!

The Most Dangerous Game… Night!: David screaming “GAME NIGHT!” is the best damn thing I’ve ever seen.

The Depths of Cousin Fethry!: I love Cousin Spongebob!

The Ballad of Duke Baloney!: Dammit, Frank.

The Town Where Everyone Was Nice!: They’re boyfriends mates, sorry I don’t make the rules.

Storkules in Duckburg!: Storkules is the ultimate Donald Duck fan, we cannot comepete.

Last Christmas!: Somehow the Ghost of Christmas McBrayer is the least surprising thing I’ve ever seen in this show.

Whatever Happened to Della Duck?!: Oh, so that’s how she survived.

Treasure of the Found Lamp!: Dijin is the best character.

The Outlaw Scrooge McDuck!: Yee–and I cannot stress this enough–haw.

The 87 Cent Solution!: *wheezing* Dammit, Frank…

The Golden Spear!: Oh my god, they were roommates!

Nothing Can Stop Della Duck!: Dammit, Frank!

Raiders of the Doomsday Vault!: “So stand out, above the crowd! Even if I gotta shout it out loud!”

Friendship Hates Magic!: Webby gets two friends for the price of one seance!

The Dangerous Chemistry of Gandra Dee!: BEAKS SMASH… THAT LIKE BUTTON! (I’m so sorry)

The Duck Knight Returns!: *spoilers* The single best superhero, origin story-based episode ever! 

Whatever Happened To Donald Duck?!: *sobbing* He’s a good dad!

Happy Birthday, Doofus Drake!: This entire episode is creepier than most indie horror games.

A Nightmare on Killmotor Hill!: All the kids’ dreams are moods… except Huey’s, his dream can go jump off a microwave.

The Golden Army of Cornelius Coot!: Della is just pulling a Donald and adopting any and all kids within arms reach at this point.

Timephoon!: “I’m on it!” *gets struck by lightning* “I’ve immediately failed you!”

Glomtales!: I don’t know what’s more surprising, the fact that Louie won the bet or that they used Glomgold’s theme song takeover as the intro.

The Richest Duck in the World!: Drag them, Owlson. Drag them all…

Moonvasion! Part 1: *deep inhale* D A M M I T F R A N K!

Moonvasion! Part 2: Glomgold is my new favorite villain character.

Challenge of the Senior Junior Woodchuck!: Huey and Violet fight for the right to be crowned the squarest of squares.

Quack Pack!: Radical dude! *insert cheesy 90s riff here*

Double-O Duck in You Only Crash Twice!: We were all simping SO HARD this episode don’t think I forgot!!!

The Lost Harp of Mervana!: Scrooge fails a vibe check.

Louie’s Eleven!:  Is it really a heist movie if something doesn’t go completely wrong?

Astro B.O.Y.D.!: So much ANIME!!!!!!

The Rumble for Ragnarok!: Eh, the MCU did it better

The Phantom and the Sorceress!: Seeing Gladstone suffer brings me an odd amount of joy

They Put a Moonlander on Earth!: They’re lesbians, Harold!

The Trickening!: Did… did no one really tell Launchpad how Halloween works?

The Forbidden Fountain of the Foreverglades!: If I had a nickel for every time a cartoon version of Ponce de Leon died a gruesome death on screen, I’d have two nickels, which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it happened twice, right?

Let’s Get Dangerous!: *spoilers* THEY ARE A SUPERHERO FAMILY!!!!

Escape from the ImpossiBin!: Scrooge and Beakley are a little too excited to traumatize their family because of their trauma.

The Split Sword of Swanstantine!: Dewey and Webby literally walk in blind, Violet spices things up, and Huey unleashes the Rage™

New Gods on the Block!: The most accurate representation of Zeus ever.

The First Adventure!: Young Donald is one heck of a mood.

The Fight for Castle McDuck!: The sibling culture episode.

How Santa Stole Christmas!: Charles Dickens would approve, probably.

Beaks in the Shell!: Huey ships Fendra and Gyro needs to stop hiding in the closet.

The Lost Cargo of Kit Cloudkicker!: The Battle of Theatre Kids... in the Sky!

The Life and Crimes of Scrooge McDuck!: All the emotional weight was nearly overshadowed by One (1) attractive goth twink.

The Last Adventure Part 1; A Tale of Three Webbys!: They’re so cute! I love them!

The Last Adventure Part 2; The Lost Library of Isabella Finch!: Letting the kids on the plane is the single smartest decision Scrooge has ever made in his life.

The Last Adventure Part 3; Tale’s End!: *ugly, happy, heartbreaking sobbing* Woo-oo!

[justauthoring]

stranded.

Request(s): Hello, darling! Could I please request a Finnick Odair imagine where they get separated in the Quarter Quell and the reader ends up with Johana where her and the others get caught in the blood raining from the sky? Maybe reader isn’t too fond of blood and passes out before she reaches the beach so Finnick goes in to get her? She wakes up and literally tackles him because she missed him. Thank you, love, if you write this! I love your writing a lot! It always makes my day and makes me smile.

hi! i love the hunger games so i’m so excited that you’re getting into it! can i request something for finnick where the reader is also reaped for the quarter quell and they’re trying to protect each other throughout the games and are figuring out how they’re gonna make it through together?

hiii, could get a finnick imagine where they’re victors from different districts and go to the quarter quell together and they confess their love for each other or something. thanksss

Could you do a hurt/comfort fic with Finnick please??????? By the way I love you work 🥺

Just... anything Finnick... please ❤️❤️

Requested by: @arcadianmoonlight & @imnotvibingveryguccimrstark

Pairing: Finnick Odair x Reader Word Count: 1,622 Please don’t plagiarize my work!

Finnick was reaped first.

They went in order of the districts. And being from district six, you had to watch Finnick, a dear friend you’d made during your horrifying time in the Capitol, be reaped for those terrible, terrible games once again. When you heard his name be called, the worry of being reaped yourself seemed to no long matter.

You wanted to be reaped. If only to be with Finnick, even if they were your final days.

And when the sweet, old lady who had never been anything but kind to you was called, it wasn’t a matter of thought or hesitation before you volunteered for her. You did it for selfless reasons, even if as you stepped forward and called out the words that by right meant your death you were shaking from fear beyond relief, you knew you were at least saving one woman’s life who’d gone through enough turmoil for a life time.

And... that meant you could be with Finnick. That in itself was enough.

Joining the rebellion was one of the easiest decisions you’d ever made. Half because of what it stood for, and half because Finnick had been there, and being with him always made you feel ten times braver then you actually ever felt. 

The night before the games, you thought you were prepared. It was a numb feeling more than anything. You weren’t scared, weren’t even really angry honestly. You never wanted to go through the games ever again in your life, but you felt as if a change was coming, and even if you never got to see the end of it, you knew your sacrifice was not pointless.

If you were to die in the games, you’d be dying protecting the chance of a new world.

And that’s something you’d always dreamed of.

But nothing could’ve prepared you for the feeling of standing on those pedestals, staring around at the arena like the first time. It was so alike and yet, so different then you remembered. You remember trying to look for Finnick, desperately so, but unable to see him. Your heart was pounding madly against your chest, racing, and it felt as if you might throw up. Your nails were digging into the palms of your hands and you were trying to keep a level head, but ultimately failing.

Then the games started.

You ran fast to the cornucopia, somehow managing to make it there without running into anyone. You made a beeline for the weapons, all while trying to keep out a careful eye for familiar faces, namely Finnick. When your eyes land on a katana, a small bout of hope manages to flood through you, knowing that if you could get your hands on that, you were ten times saver.

Just as you move to reach it, someone jumps in front of you. It’s one of the careers.

In his hand is a staff.

You barely manage to dodge a hit, ducking with stride, nearly tipping into the water beside you. You strike your leg out, managing a hit, but it ultimately not really doing anything. You try to slip past him, get behind him so you can grab your katana, but the second you try, you’re nearly knocked in the shoulder.

Just as the career is about to send a deadly hit to your head, an axe stabs him square in the middle of his back. Your lips part as you watch his eyes widen, then dull, and he tips, falling into the water with a loud splash.

Behind him stands Johanna.

You meet her eyes, and with a nod, you rush forward, grabbing your katana before turning to you. “Have you seen Finnick?”

She shakes her head; “but I found Wiress and Beetee, like I was told. Come on!”

You want to argue. Want to look for Finnick. But you don’t. Instead, you follow her, rushing off with her and her district partner in tow, bringing Wiress and Beetee along, into a section of the jungle. You don’t really stop running until you’re in the depths of the trees, surrounded and hidden from view.

When you slow to a stop, everyone’s exhausted but alert. You grip your katana tightly in your hand, shaking.

“We should be good here.”

“For now.”

You drown out the chatter, glancing around.

“Did...” And you start off slow, breathless, chest rising and falling rapidly. “Did anyone... Did anyone see Finnick? Or-Or Mags? Did anyone--”

You meet their eyes, seeing the pity on their gazes, even Johanna looks at you with sympathy, and you know right then and there, your question is useless. Everything had happened so quickly and suddenly... Finnick could be anywhere.

He could be... he could be dead.

You shake your head free of the thought, knowing nothing good will come from thinking like that.

You keep your mind busy with helping the rest of the group. You all continue to walk, going further and further into the depths of the jungle, keeping your ears on alert for any noise of someone approaching. You help set up camp and volunteer to keep first watch when night falls, knowing that you won’t be able to sleep anyway.

Hours, you’re sure, pass. And it’s reaching sunrise when you’re woken up by a raindrop falling on your forehead. You blink yourself awake as more raindrops fall on your head, groaning lightly in response as you push yourself up, meeting Johanna’s gaze, who’d taken last watch, sharing a similar expression.

Holding your hand out before you, you expect a simply drop of water to fall on your hand.

It’s not water. It’s akin to your worst nightmare.

“I-It’s blood...”

-

“You just left her there!”

“I had to get them out! That’s what you told me!”

Scoffing, Finnick brushes past Johanna without another word, ignoring the calls of his group as he rushes back the way Johanna, Wiress and Beetee had just run from. His lips snarl in disgust and discomfort at the traces of blood left from the blood rain, it coating his shoes, creating a thick and tense turmoil for him to rush through.

He has no sense of which direction to go. You could... You could be anywhere.

But he couldn’t just leave you in here. Not if there was a chance you were still alive. He... He had to find you.

He couldn’t lose you.

He wanders for a while, your name leaving his lips in a desperate shriek, hoping that just once he’ll hear you call back. He never does. Finnick doesn’t hear you respond not once, and his hope starts to dwindle while his desperation becomes tenfold, eyes frantically searching for your figure.

And then... then Finnick sees you.

He’d notice you anywhere. The sight of you brings such a deep, immediate relief to him as he instantly picks up the pace in his step, rushing towards you, and falling to his knees next to your limp body. Pressing his ear against your chest assures him you’re still alive because of your faint breathing. He brushes back the strands of blood-soaked hair that sticks to your face, looking for signs of any life-threatening injuries.

There’s scratches along your cheeks, probably from branches, and you’re covered in blood, but other then that, you look fine.

Slipping his arm under your knees and the other behind your back, Finnick gently pulls you up in his arms bridal style, while making sure to grab your weapon too. You stir gently in response, a moan of discomfort leaving your lips, but you don’t wake up. The trek back to the rest is with a lighter heart, though Finnick doesn’t once slow his step, desperate to get you cleaned up.

The others watch him carefully as he submerges from the jungle, but he doesn’t say anything, bringing you into the water carefully but quickly. You jump in response to the cold water, but Finnick keeps you safely tucked in his arm, using his free hand to wipe away the dried blood off of your skin, suit and hair.

A soft, relieved smile curls onto his lips as your eyes flutter open.

You choke at first, coughing the blood that you’d swallowed involuntarily, and Finnick helps ease you best he can. And at first you jump, confused, the last memory you have being in the depths of the jungle, choking on blood, but then your eyes find Finnick’s and you ease almost immediately.

“You found me...”

“Of course I found you,” Finnick whispers, pulling you up against his chest as you breathe heavily, trying to calm your racing heart. 

“Did the others--Did--”

“They’re safe! They’re safe!” Pulling back, Finnick points behind himself, to the rest of the group that scatters around in the water and on the beach itself. You ease in his grip as you let your eyes flicker across them all, meeting Johanna’s eyes briefly and nodding when you she sends you a look.

Turning to Finnick, you smile gently, bringing your hand up to cup his cheeks. “You went to look for me?”

Finnick shakes his head; “I couldn’t just leave you there.’

Letting your thumb stroke his cheek gently, you nod, voice a light whisper; “thank you...”

“I...” And he hesitates, face twisting for a moment as you watch with a blink, confused. “I have to say this. In case... In case...” You soothe his hesitation, stuttering with a gentle smile, cupping his cheek. “I love you...”

And your heart flutters in response, leaning up in his grasp to press your lips against his own in a quick, but meaningful and heartfelt kiss.

“I love you too, Finnick Odair,” you laugh lightly. “I have for a long time now.”

-

Let me know what you thought?

[destiny-smasher]

Life is Strange: True Colors

Leading up to the release of Episode 1 of TellTale's The Walking Dead game, I was working freelance for GameRevolution at the time, lived in the area, and had the chance to play a build of the game to write a preview on it. I remember comparing it to Mass Effect because, at the time, there just...weren't games of that subgenre. Of course, by now we've seen an explosion of this type of game - the 'narrative/choice-driven game,' spearheaded and even oversaturated by Telltale to their own demise.

Out of all of the games that have come from that initial boom, Life is Strange by DontNod was and still is the most influential on my life, but I also have always harbored really conflicted feelings about it - especially with how it resolved its narrative. Hell, if you're reading this, you're probably aware that I spent a few years of my life creating a sequel fanstory which I even adapted a chunk of into visual novel format. Hundreds of thousands of words, days and days of life spent essentially trying to process and reconcile my conflicted feelings about this game's conclusion(s). Since then, I've been experimenting with interactive fiction and am currently developing my own original visual novel using everything I've learned from both creating and playing games in this genre. It's a subgenre of game I have a lot of interest and passion for because, when handled well, it can allow a player to sort of co-direct a guided narrative experience in a way that's unique compared to strictly linear cinematic experiences but still have a curated, focused sense of story.

Up until this point, I've regarded Night in the Woods as probably the singular best game of this style, with others like Oxenfree and The Wolf Among Us as other high marks. I've never actually put any Life is Strange game quite up there - none of them have reached that benchmark for me, personally. Until now, anyway.

But now, I can finally add a new game to that top tier, cream of the crop list. Life is Strange: True Colors is just damn good. I'm an incredibly critical person as it is - and that critique usually comes from a place of love - so you can imagine this series has been really hard to for me given that I love it, and yet have never truly loved any actual full entry in it. I have so many personal issues, quibbles, qualms, and frustration with Life is Strange: with every individual game, with how it has been handled by its publisher (my biggest issue at this point, actually), with how it has seemingly been taken away from its original development studio, with how it chooses to resolve its narratives...

But with True Colors, all of those issues get brushed aside long enough for me to appreciate just how fucking well designed it is for this style of game. I can appreciate how the development team, while still clearly being 'indie' compared to other dev teams working under Square-Enix, were able to make such smart decisions in how to design and execute this game. Taken on its own merits, apart from its branding, True Colors is absolutely worth playing if you enjoy these 'telltale' style games. Compared to the rest of the series, I would argue it's the best one so far, easily. I had a lot of misgivings and doubts going in, and in retrospect, those are mostly Square-Enix's fault. Deck Nine, when given the freedom to make their own original game in the same vein as the previous three, fucking nailed it as much as I feel like they could, given the kinds of limitations I presume they were working within.

I'm someone who agonizes every single time there is news for Life is Strange as a series - someone who essentially had to drop out of the fandom over infighting, then dropped out of even being exposed to the official social media channels for it later on (I specifically have the Square-Enix controlled channels muted). I adore Max and Chloe, and as a duo, as a couple, they are one of my top favorites not just in gaming, but in general. They elevated the original game to be something more than the sum of its parts for me. And while I have enjoyed seeing what DontNod has made since, it's always been their attention to detail in environmental craftsmanship, in tone and atmosphere, which has caught my interest. They're good at creating characters with layers, but imo they've never nailed a narrative arc. They've never really hit that sweet spot that makes a story truly resonate with me. Deck Nine's previous outing, Before the Storm, was all over the place, trying to mimic DontNod while trying to do its own things - trying to dig deeper into concepts DontNod deliberately left open for interpretation while also being limited in what it could do as a prequel.

But with True Colors, those awkward shackles are (mostly) off. They have told their own original story, keeping in tone and concept with previous Life is Strange games, and yet this also feels distinctly different in other ways.

Yes, protagonist Alex Chen is older than previous characters, and most of the characters in True Colors are young adults, as opposed to teenagers. Yes, she has a supernatural ability. And yes, the game is essentially a linear story with some freedom in how much to poke around at the environment and interact with objects/characters, with the primary mechanic being making choices which influence elements of how the story plays out. None of this is new to the genre, or even Life is Strange. But the execution was clearly planned out, focused, and designed with more caution and care than games like this typically get.

A smaller dev team working with a budget has to make calls on how to allocate that budget. With True Colors, you will experience much fewer locales and environments than you will in Life is Strange 2. Fewer locations than even Life is Strange 1, by my count. But this reinforces the game's theming. I suspect the biggest hit to the game's budget was investing in its voice acting (nothing new for this series) but specifically in the motion capture and facial animation.

You have a game about a protagonist trying to fit in to a small, tightly knit community. She can read the aura of people's emotions and even read their minds a little. And the game's budget and design take full advantage of this. You spend your time in a small main street/park area, a handful of indoor shops, your single room apartment. It fits within a tighter budget, but it reinforces the themes the game is going for. Your interactions with characters are heightened with subtle facial cues and microexpressions, which also reinforces the mechanic and theming regarding reading, accepting, and processing emotions. And you get to make some choices that influence elements of this - influenced by the town, influenced by the emotions of those around you, which reinforce the main plot of trying to navigate a new life in a small town community.

When I think about these types of games, the conclusion is always a big deal. In a way, it shouldn't be, because I usually feel it's about the journey, not the destination. And as an example, I actually really dislike the ending of the original Life is Strange. I think it's a lot of bullshit in many ways. The setpiece is amazing and epic, sure, but the actual storytelling going on is...really hollow for me. Yes, the game does subtly foreshadow in a number of ways that this is the big choice it's leading up to, but the game never actually makes sense of it. And the problem is, if your experience is going to end on a big ol' THIS or THAT kind of moment, it needs to make sense or the whole thing will fall apart as soon as the credits are rolling and the audience spends a moment to think about what just happened. When you look at the end of Season 1 of Telltale's The Walking Dead, it's not powerful just because of what choice you're given, but because through the entire final episode, we know the stakes - we know what is going to ultimately happen, and we know the end of the story is fast approaching. All of the cards are on the table by the time we get to that final scene, and it works so well because we know why it's happening, and it is an appropriate thematic climax that embodies the theming of the entire season. It works mechanically, narratively, and thematically, and 'just makes sense.'

The ending of Life is Strange 1 doesn't do that, if you ask me. The ending of most games in this genre don't really hit that mark. When I get to the end of most game 'seasons' like this, even ones I enjoy, I'm typically left frustrated, confused, and empty in a way.

The ending of True Colors, on the other hand, nails everything it needs to. Handily, when compared to its peers.

If you're somehow reading this and have not played this game but intend to, now is probably where you should duck out, as I will be

discussing SPOILERS from the entire game, specifically the finale.

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Firstly, since I don't know where else to put this, some criticisms I found with the game. And honestly, they're all pretty damn minor compared to most games of this type.

Mainly, I just wish the whole Typhon thing was handled a bit more deliberately. It's a bit weird to do the 'big evil corporation' thing (especially when a big corporation like Square Enix occupies as much as or even more of the credits to this game than the people who actually MADE it?) without offering more explanation and subtlety. The game certainly makes some efforts but they're mostly small and mostly optional, like background chatter or a handful of one-off bits of documentation/etc. you can find in the environment. I feel like Diane in particular needed to be fleshed out just a little bit more to really sell us on how and why things like this happen, why corporations make decisions that cost people their happiness, security, and lives and they just get to keep on doing it. I think just a little bit that is unavoidable to the player that puts emphasis on maybe how much the town relies on the money/resources Typhon provides would've helped. Again, this is minor, but it stands out when I have so little else to critique.

I would've liked to get more insight on why Jed is the way he is. No, I don't think we really needed to learn more about his backstory, or even really his motivations. I think we get enough of that. I just think it would've been great to somehow highlight more deliberately how/why he's built up this identity overtop of what he's trying to suppress. Maybe even just having Alex internally realize, "Wait, what the hell, Jed has been hiding these emotions and my powers haven't picked up on it?" or something to that effect could have added an extra oomph to highlight how Jed seems to be coping with his emotions by masking/suppressing them. Also really minor complaint, but again...there's not much else here I can think to really improve on within the confines of what's in the game.

The game doesn't really call Alex's power into question morally. Like. Max has an entire meltdown by the end of her story, second-guessing if she's even helped anyone at all, if she has 'the right' to do so, how her powers might be affecting or expressing her own humanity and flaws...this story doesn't really get into that despite a very similar concept of manipulating others. There's like one bit in a document you can choose to read in Alex's 'nightmare' scene, but that's really it. I feel like this sentiment and how it's executed could have easily been expanded upon in just this one scene to capture what made that Max/Other Max scene do what it did in a way that would address the moral grayness of Alex's powers and how she uses them, and give players a way to express their interpretation of that. Also, very small deal, just another tidbit I would've liked to see.

When I first watched my wife play through Episode 5 (I watched her play through the game first, then I played it myself), I wasn't really feeling the surreal dreamscape stuff of Alex's flashbacks - which is weird, because if you're read my work from the past few years, you'll know I usually love that sort of shit. I think what was throwing me off was that it didn't really feel like it was tying together what the game was about up until that point, and felt almost like it was just copying what Life is Strange did with Max's nightmare sequence (minus the best part of that sequence, imo, where Max literally talks to herself).

But by the time I had seen the rest of the story, and re-experienced it myself, I think it clicked better. This is primarily a story about Alex Chen trying to build a new life for herself in a new community - a small town, a tightly knit place. Those flashbacks are specifically about Alex's past, something we only get teeny tiny tidbits of, and only really if we go looking for them. I realized after I gave myself a few days to process and play through the game myself that this was still a fantastic choice because it reinforces the plot reasons why Alex is even in the town she's in (because her father went there, and her brother in turn went there looking for him), and it reinforces the theme of Alex coming to accept her own emotions and confront them (as expressed through how the flashbacks are played out and the discussions she has with the image of Gabe in her mind, which is really just...another part of herself trying to get her to process things).

By the time Alex escapes the mines and returns to the Black Lantern, all of the cards are on the table. By that point, we as the audience know everything we need to. Everything makes sense - aside from arguably why Jed has done what he has done, but put a pin in that for a sec. We may not know why Alex has the powers she does, but we have at least been given context for how they manifested - as a coping mechanism of living a life inbetween the cracks of society, an unstable youth after her family fell apart around her (and oof, trust me, I can relate with this in some degree, though not in exactly the same ways). And unlike Max's Rewind power, the story and plot doesn't put this to Alex's throat, like it's all on her to make some big choice because she is the way she is, or like she's done something wrong by pursuing what she cares about (in this case, the truth, closure, and understanding).

When Alex confronts Jed in front of all of the primary supporting characters, it does everything it needs to.

Mechanically: it gives players choices for how to express their interpretation of events, and how Alex is processing them; it also, even more importantly, uses the 'council' as a way of expressing how the other characters have reacted to the choices the player has made throughout the game, and contributes to how this climax feels. We're given a 'big choice' at the end of the interaction that doesn't actually change the plot, or even the scene, really (it just affects like one line of dialogue Alex says right then) and yet BOTH choices work so well as a conclusion, it's literally up to your interpretation and it gives you an in-game way to express that.

Thematically: the use of the council reinforces the game's focus on community; and the way the presentation of the scene stays locked in on Alex and Jed's expressions reinforces its focus on emotion - not to mention that the entire scene also acts as a way to showcase how Alex has come to accept, understand, and process her own emotions while Jed, even THEN, right fucking at the moment of his demise, is trying to mask his emotions, to hide them and suppress them and forget them (something the game has already expressed subtly by way of his negative emotions which would give him away NOT being visible to Alex even despite her power).

Narratively: we are given a confrontation that makes sense and feels edifying to see play out after everything we've experienced and learned. We see Alex use her powers in a new and exciting way that further builds the empowering mood the climax is going for and adds a cinematic drama to it. No matter what decisions the player makes, Alex has agency in her own climax, we experience her making a decision, using her power, asserting herself now that she has gone through the growth this narrative has put her through. Alex gets to resolve her shit, gets to have her moment to really shine and experience the end of a character arc in this narrative.

Without taking extra time to design the game around these pillars, the finale wouldn't be so strong. If they didn't give us enough opportunities to interact with the townspeople, their presence in the end wouldn't matter, but everyone who has a say in the council is someone we get an entire scene (at least one) dedicated to interacting with them and their emotions. If they didn't implement choices in the scene itself, it would still be powerful but we wouldn't feel as involved, it'd be more passive. If they didn't showcase Alex's power, we might be left underwhelmed, but they do so in a way that actually works in the context through how they have chosen to present it, while also just tonally heightening the climax by having this drastic lighting going on. If they didn't have the council involved, we'd lose the theming of community. If they didn't have the foil of Alex/Jed and how they have each processed their emotions, we'd miss that key component. And if we didn't have such detailed facial animations, the presentation just wouldn't be as effective.

Ryan/Steph are a little bit like, in this awkward sideline spot during the climax? Steph always supports you, and Ryan supports you or doubts you conditionally, which is unsurprising but also ties into the themes of Ryan having grown up woven into this community, and Steph being once an outsider who has found a place within it. They're still there, either way, which is important. The only relevant characters who aren't present are more supporting characters like Riley, Ethan, and Mac. Ethan being the only one of those who gets an entire 'super emotions' scene, but that also marks the end of his arc and role in the story, so...it's fine. Mac and Riley are less important and younger, as well, and have their own side story stuff you have more direct influence on, too.

But damn, ya'll, this climax just works so well. It especially stands out to me given just how rarely I experience a conclusion/climax that feels this rewarding.

And then after that we get a wonderful montage of a theoretical life Alex might live on to experience. Her actions don't overthrow a conglomerate billionaire company. She doesn't even save a town, really. If the entire council thinks you're full of shit, Jed still confesses either way - because it's not up to the council whether he does this, it's because of Alex, regardless of player choice. Honestly, even after a playthrough where I made most choices differently from my wife, there weren't really many changes to that montage at the end. It'd have been great if it felt more meaningfully different, but maybe it can be. Even if not, the design intent is there and the execution still works. It's a really nice way to end the story, especially since it's not even a literal montage but one Alex imagines - again, her processing what she's gone through, what she desires, expressed externally for us to see it. And for once, the actual final 'big decision' in a game of this type manages to be organic, make sense, and feel good and appropriate either way. You choose to either have Alex stay in Haven Springs and continue building her life there, or you can choose to have her leave and try to be an indie musician, with the events of the game being yet another chunk of her life to deal with and move on from (I haven't really touched on it, but music, especially as a way to express and process emotions, is a recurring thing, much like photography was in the original game, or Sean's illustrations in LiS2). For once, a climactic 'pick your ending' decision that doesn't feel shitty. It's pretty rare for this genre, honestly.

I could - and already have, and likely will - have so much more to say about this game and its details, but I really wanted to focus on touching upon a main element that has left me impressed: the way the entire game feels designed. It feels intentionally constructed but in a way that reinforces what it is trying to express as a story. It's not just trying to make people cry for the sake of 'emotions.' It is a game literally about emotions and it comes to a conclusion in a way that is clearly saying something positive and empowering about empathy and self-acceptance.

Storytelling is a craft, like any other, and it entails deliberate choices and decisions that can objectively contribute to how effective a story is for its intended audience.

A good story isn't something you find, after all.

It's something you build.

[flowesona]

catnip - yandere! hybrid yoongi x reader

“Just stay here for me, okay Yoongi?” The hybrid nodded, even if he was still shivering slightly. He’d freaked out seeing where they were parked, crying about her adopting someone else.

His emotional reaction had tugged at (Y/N)’s heartstrings to no end. She was starting to second guess her decision, but it was the right thing to do. 

“Be back soon.” Yoongi nodded, still sniffling slightly as he curled up in the car seat, letting her climb out and close the door gently behind her.

The shelter still smelt strongly of disinfectant. He’d complained about the smell one night to her, humming about how glad he was he would never have to spend another night there. The thought of him finding out how he was wrong was heartbreaking, yet (Y/N) pushed on, right up to the reception desk where the same kind faced volunteer was typing away.

“Hi?” She spoke up timidly. The young woman glanced up, beaming.

“Ah, Miss (L/N)! Just in time! I was going to call you to ask how you two were getting along. Is Yoongi settling in alright?” 

“Well, that’s the thing. Yoongi doesn't seem to be very… comfortable.” (Y/N) posited, fidgeting slightly. “He got in a fight with one of the neighbour’s hybrids about a week ago. Left him quite injured. And I don’t want to risk such an incident recurring.”

That was the best way to describe the incident. She’d left Yoongi with her neighbour’s fellow cat hybrid whilst she had a cup of coffee and a catch up with him, only to hear a loud ruckus a few minutes later and discover the two in a serious scuffle, both ending up with serious scratches on their arms. When she’d taken Yoongi home, apologising to her neighbour profusely all the while, she interrogated him on why he did it, only to have her reprimands shrugged off as Yoongi chose instead to weep about how he felt so lonely whenever she wasn’t in the room.

That’s not to say that Yoongi was a demonic hybrid. Compared to the horror stories she’d heard from her friends about hybrids attacking their owners or destroying their homes, Yoongi was practically a saint. He provided pleasant company, always happy to curl up with her as she talked about her day or laying his head on her lap so that she would scratch behind his ears in a way that made him practically purr in delight. But the bad moments stood out more than the positive ones, and (Y/N) wasn’t sure she could cope with the irregularity of his moods.

All in all, he was nearly the perfect companion. But she didn’t want to give up her friendship with her neighbour, and the fear that she couldn’t provide enough emotional support was pushing her to help him find a new owner.

“Really? He never showed that kind of behaviour with his previous family. Are you sure it wasn’t just a simple disagreement that escalated on both sides?” The receptionist frowned, her hand resting on the computer mouse.

“There was another occasion. He attacked a human yesterday. My brother.”

Like the last time, she had no idea what happened. Her brother had just dropped by to greet her as he was in town, but when she’d gone to get him a glass of water, she heard them talking. All of a sudden she heard a yelp, as if someone was in pain, and when she returned her brother was halfway out the door. 

“Get that mutt of yours put down. He’s no good.” Was all he said before slamming the door in her face. She’d tried to pry what happened out of Yoongi, but once again he cried to her about being unloved. Rather than feeling pity for his feelings, she felt irritated beyond all else that he was refusing to take the blame for wounding her brother. 

Ultimately, to (Y/N) blood was thicker than water, which led her to the adoption center to see about relocating Yoongi.

“I see. We’ll have him assessed to see if he’s a threat to any other humans, and I’m very sorry that happened to your family. Did you bring him here with you?” The receptionist finally started to tap away at her computer, leaving (Y/N) with a bittersweet feeling.

“Yes. He’s in the car.” 

“Okay. If you want to say goodbye and bring him in here? And if you ever miss him you can always call us and we’ll tell you how he’s doing.” The young woman gave (Y/N) a kind smile. 

Each step felt like she was wading through glue. She was scared about what would happen, about how Yoongi would feel. No doubt, he wouldn’t react well to the news considering how just being in the area of his old accommodation was enough to trigger a meltdown.

“Yoongi? How are you feeling?” She slid into the driver's seat. He lifted his head briefly to meet her eyes.

“Who were you talking to?” He asked, cocking his head to one side. A seemingly innocent question sent shivers down her spine, though she wasn’t sure why. Yoongi was good, he just didn’t get along with the people around her right?

“There’s someone who wants to check up on you. You need to come inside the building with me, okay?” The little white lie hurt to say, as she held out her hand for him to take. Yoongi looked apprehensive, but when she gave him a nod of encouragement he reached out to take it.

She would miss the way his warm hand felt curled around hers. Especially when, late into the evenings when he thought she was asleep, he’d snuggle his cheek into her hand for comfort, falling asleep quickly in her hold.

Yoongi was becoming more tense as they entered, wincing at the strong smell and pressing his face into her shoulder, as he’d done a few times when there was strong thunder and lightning.

She made eye contact with the receptionist, to let her know she should get a keeper to help take him away.

“Yoongi, you’re a very good boy aren’t you?” She said softly, feeling him nod as he stayed clung to her back.

“The people here are going to take good care of you, aren’t they? I want you to stay strong for me.”

He froze.

“What do you mean? (Y/N), you’ll stay with me whilst they help me right?” Yoongi’s breathing was getting heavier, his eyes widening in terror.

(Y/N) didn’t reply, wanting nothing more than to keep lying but not having the guts to do so.

“I don’t want to stay here. Please, can’t we go home? I’m a good boy, I swear!” It was just as bad as she expected. Luckily, two of the keepers had arrived just in time.

The second Yoongi was separated from (Y/N) by another human, he became fully hysterical.

“Let go of me! No! Don’t you dare take me away from her!” He cried out, thrashing against the hold of the keepers.

“He’ll be absolutely fine, Miss. No need to worry.” One of the keepers panted, trying their best to keep the now feral Yoongi, who was hissing and scratching at them.

(Y/N) turned her back on the chaos, trying not to feel guilty as she heard the cries grow fainter and fainter. 

◦◦,`°.✽✦✽.◦.✽✦✽.°`,◦◦

By the position of the moon in the night sky, Yoongi could tell it had hit midnight. He’d spent the afternoon and most of the evening pacing his room, with the same old white walls and tiny window. He’d tried to break the glass, but his hands were no match for the triple glazed glass.

But the heartache he felt from losing (Y/N) was worse than any pain some bruised knuckles could cause. He’d been scared that he was pushing it. The first few times that he played the victim after lashing out, she seemed to forgive him. But it was her brother that had been the straw that broke the camel’s back - all Yoongi had done was try to suggest that her brother shouldn’t return to their apartment as he clearly wasn’t needed, and (Y/N)’s sibling had been completely unreasonable in rejecting the idea. But when he’d tried gaining her sympathy after the matter, she evidently didn’t believe him, thus he was dumped.

Even if he’d initially been angry at (Y/N) for leaving him, that emotion didn’t stick around for long. The sick “love” he’d developed for her triumphed anything she could ever do. He had to be by her side, to protect her from any man that might try to corrupt her - that was his new purpose in life, and there was no way he could let the pound keep him from that.

With newfound will, he slammed his body into the door of his room. The lock rattled, but didn’t budge. He slammed into it again, and then a final time to see the bolt shattering. 

Yoongi didn’t even wait to catch his breath, hurrying through the halls with nimble feet and light breath. Even in his tantrum earlier he’d been taking in the layout of the building, so he could find his way back. 

Fortunately, this paid off as he was able to get to the reception, meaning he was so close he could practically feel the warmth of (Y/N)’s bed again. Unfortunately, he was not alone. There was a security guard at the reception desk, yawning and sipping a piping cup of coffee. When he saw the escaping hybrid he reached for something on his belt only for Yoongi to pounce first, knocking him to the ground. The frustration inside Yoongi built up, this man being the sole obstacle in his journey to find (Y/N), and before he knew quite what he was doing his sharp fingernails had tore the guard’s throat out, leaving him to choke on his own blood. 

Seeing the pathetic human reaching for a phone, presumably to call the other security guard for help, Yoongi snatched it far out of reach and crushed the guard’s hand underneath his foot with a satisfying crunch. As a final gesture Yoongi spat on him, smirked, and snatched up the keys.

Once he was outside, locking the door behind him, Yoongi was elated. He just had to find a way back to his home, and even if his head was too messed up to think of the directions, his heart could guide the way. Navigating the dark city streets, ducking into corners when he saw people knowing that he could be busted at any second, all whilst racking his brains for the directions to the apartment. If only he’d left the comfort of home more often, he wouldn’t be in such a tough situation.

Finally, he started to recognise the area he was in. Even better, he was starting to pick up her scent, until finally he found himself outside of their apartment block.

He knew where he was now, and he couldn’t help but to dash up the stairs, not caring about the noise, until he found her apartment. There, after trying the doorknob only to find it locked, he rapped on the door continuously, until finally it opened for him.

He launched himself into (Y/N)’s arms upon seeing her, leading to her stumbling back in shock and ending up on the floor. Yoongi just laughed in delight.

“I’ve missed you so much, (Y/N). Never let them take me like that again, okay?”

[the-badger-mole]

No Sound but Silence: The Edge of Everything

The back rooms looked more clinical than the waiting area, but it was still very posh. The door-lined hall reminded Katara startlingly of a hotel, but every so often an opened door gave her glimpses of leather examination tables and gleaming chrome stirrups. Aunt Wu's office was at the very back.

The office, like the rest of the building, seemed like anything but a clinic where women made decisions that changed the course of their entire lives. There was a desk in the far corner, but Aunt Wu led them over to a pair of small sofas with a low coffee table between them. It felt more like a living room than a doctor's office. Aunt Wu offered them both beverages, which they declined, and then settled across from them.

"Before we get started, I want to cover a few things first," Aunt Wu began. "First of all, everything we say here is confidential. I won't be contacting your parents. This consultation is free and includes a pregnancy test. I won't need your insurance information for that. If we need to do...anything further, we can either bill your insurance, which will be sent to your home, or we can discuss a payment option if you don't have or don't want to use your insurance."

"Okay," Katara breathed a sigh of relief. She didn't know what she wanted to do yet, but she did not want her father to find out about any of this from their insurance company.

"The next thing is," Aunt Wu turned her sharp eyes onto Zuko in particular, "this ultimately Katara's choice. I appreciate you wanting to be here for support, but at the end of the day, I will go along with what she wants. Am I clear?"

"Yes ma'am," Zuko mumbled. A light blush dusting his nose and cheek. Satisfied with Zuko's reply, Aunt Wu settled back in her seat.

"Now that the formalities are out of the way," she said, her pleasant smile returning, "Why don't we move on to the reason for your visit today?" Katara blanched. All of the questions she had been carefully constructing since Zuko told her about this clinic flew out of her head. Her mouth opened and closed several times as she tried to think of something halfway intelligent to say.

"I-I think I'm pregnant," she blurted out at last. "I mean...I'm sure. We...I took the test, and I've felt sick since last night. I haven't thrown up or anything, but Zuko got me some ginger tea and I think it helped a bit, but-"

"Calm down," Aunt Wu seemed to be on the edge of a chuckle, but her eyes were kind and empathetic. "We'll do a test to make sure. Have you thought about what you want to do?"

"I-" Katara's mouth went dry and she swallowed a few times. Then she shrugged helplessly. "I don't know..."

"Okay, well, we'll go over your options," Aunt Wu said. She leaned forward, resting her arms on her knees. "How old are you?"

"I'm seventeen," Katara replied. "I'll be eighteen in a couple months."

"Seventeen?" Aunt Wu's face betrayed no shock or judgment. This felt weirdly like a conversation with a guidance counselor. "Are you still in high school, then?" Katara nodded.

"I'm in my last year," she said.

"That's nice," Aunt Wu smiled fondly. "I remember my senior year was the best year. Of course, that was many years ago. Memories fade, and nostalgia often fills in the blanks. I do think I had fun that year, though. And how about you, young man. Are you also in high school?"

"Me?" Zuko's spine straightened in surprise. "Oh...um...No. I go to the community college. It-it's my first year. I just turned 19."

"What are you studying? Something in the arts? You seem like you'd enjoy the arts."

"Business management and marketing, actually," Zuko ducked his head and cleared his throat. "Um...my family runs a business, and I might go to work for my father."

"I see." Aunt Wu eyed them appraisingly. Her gaze lingered on their still intertwined hands with interest. "How long have you two been dating? I mean, I'm assuming you are her boyfriend?"

"About two years," Katara said. "But we'd been friends for a bit longer."

"That's a long time," Aunt Wu said. "A lot of couples your age don't make it that far. Is this your first relationship?"

"Yes," Katara said. "For me."

"I had a girlfriend before Katara," Zuko explained. "We only lasted a few months, though."

"That's not unusual," Aunt Wu said. "I have to commend you, Zuko, was it? It's very rare for any of my patients to come in with their significant others. Rarer for them to stick around for this part. You really care about Katara, don't you?" Zuko's blush deepened, and his gaze turned to her almost irresistibly.

"I love her," he replied. "I'm not going to let her go through this alone if I can help it." Aunt Wu's smile softened at that.

"That's good," she told them."No matter what Katara decides, she's going to need support. I'll assume neither of your parents know?" The two teens shook their heads.

"We didn't want to tell our families until we decided what we're going to do," Katara explained.

"Do you think they'll react poorly?" Aunt Wu asked. "We have resources- homes for teens for you to stay in until you finish school, or programs to help you find jobs and housing."

"Oh..." Katara's hands went cold. Would she need that kind of help?

"I have an apartment off campus," Zuko said. Katara shot him a glance. His 'apartment' was a studio above his uncle's tea shop. Iroh had allowed him to move in there after Zuko's violent fallout with his father three years earlier, but it was hardly more than a room with a hot plate. Zuko smiled sheepishly and shrugged.

"I'm going away to school next fall," Katara told Aunt Wu. "I have a scholarship, and housing is included."

"That sounds wonderful," Aunt Wu clasped her hands around her knees and leaned forward. "And I congratulate you, but if you choose to keep the baby, will they allow you to live in the dorms? Do they have childcare on campus?"

"I'm going to move out there with her," Zuko explained. "If we keep the baby, I'll be there to help. If the campus doesn't have daycare, I have enough saved up that I can stay home with the baby until I find a job. Then, when Katara graduates, I'll go back to school. The baby will be in kindergarten by then, and that should help." Aunt Wu blinked in surprise.

"I see you have a plan," she said. "So are you just here to confirm the pregnancy and talk pre-natal care?"

"I- we haven't decided yet," Katara said. "We talked about our options last night. That's all."

"Okay," Aunt Wu went over to her desk and came back with a clipboard and pen. "Well, first things first. Let's find out if you're pregnant for certain. Do you remember when your last period was?"

"About eight weeks ago?" Katara said uncertainly. Aunt Wu nodded and scribbled on her clipboard.

"And when were you last sexually active?"

"About six weeks ago." More scribbling. The scratching of Aunt Wu's pen filled the room.

"Are you using any contraception? Do you have an IUD or are you on any other form of birth control?" Katara paused and blushed at the question.

"I started taking birth control a few months ago, but it made me feel sick, so I stopped. We used a condom, though!" Aunt Wu glanced up and hummed sympathetically.

"We usually recommend talking to your doctor before making any changes with your medication. A condom's great, but they're surprisingly easy to use incorrectly. But there's no use closing the barn door after the horses are loose. I'm going to have a pregnancy test run for you. That can take a couple of hours to process. Can you come back later today?"

"Um...yeah." Katara nodded.

"Wonderful!" Aunt Wu stood up and motioned for Katara to follow her. She stopped Zuko when he tried to go, too.

"This part is just for her," Aunt Wu said. "You can head out to the waiting room. I won't keep her long."

Aunt Wu sent him on his way and guided Katara into one of the posh exam rooms. She handed Katara a cotton gown and instructed her to take off her clothes and put that on. With that, she left Katara on her own. There wasn't much time between Katara settling onto the paper-covered table and a nurse breezing in. Katara barely caught her name before she started collecting samples of blood and urine (thankfully there was a bathroom in the exam room). Aunt Wu came back and did a full, but quick check-up, scribbling some more notes on her clipboard. Then, they were done. The nurse and Aunt Wu left Katara to dress and see herself out.

Zuko had chosen a seat in direct sight of the door this time. He stood when Katara came out and crossed the room in two or three steps.

"Are you okay?" he asked. Katara nodded.

"They just took samples," she said. "Aunt Wu said that the results will be ready by this afternoon, so we have some time to kill."

"Are you hungry?" Zuko asked. Katara nodded. Sometime between arriving at the clinic and now, her nausea dissipated, and Katara was suddenly ravenous. Zuko draped an arm around her shoulders and guided her out into the street.

"I know a ramen place not too far from here," he told her. "It's really good. Or we can find someplace else if you don't want that."

"Ramen sounds great," Katara said. Anything sounded great just then, but she didn't feel like thinking too hard about it. The ramen place was just a few blocks away, so they left Zuko's car in the parking lot and walked.

The restaurant was empty. It was before the lunch rush, so they had their pick of tables. The greeter started to lead them to one of the front tables by the large picture window, but Katara asked if they could be seated someplace more private. They ended up in a back corner near the kitchen door, which was fine with them.

"Get anything you want," Zuko said. "You said you didn't eat much last night, so I'm sure you're hungry." Katara took him up on that and ordered a large bowl of ramen with extra meat and vegetables, and a side of shumai. Zuko ordered pretty much the same thing, and their food was brought out with merciful quickness. They decided mutually, and wordlessly not to discuss the topic at hand. Instead, Katara asked about Zuko's uncle and updated him on her brother and their mutual friends in the high school.

"Aang hasn't changed a bit," Katara said, rolling her eyes good-naturedly. "He nearly got kicked out of the zoo a few weeks ago because he wanted to climb into one of the enclosures and ride one of the animals. Toph somehow managed to set a trash can on fire and distract the guards long enough for Aang to get away."

"What did they do to her?" Zuko asked incredulously. Katara rolled her eyes.

"She convinced them she did it accidentally. And since she's blind, they had no way to prove otherwise."

"That's our Toph," Zuko snorted.

"She's still waiting for you to take her on a life-changing field trip, you know," Katara told Zuko. "I don't know how you're going to top committing arson at the zoo, but she wants you to try."

Zuko gave her updates on his family, too. There wasn't much said about his father- Zuko hadn't seen Ozai in three years and wasn't too broken up about it. He had a bit more news about his estranged sister, but they didn't speak often either, and although Katara still went to the same school as Azula, they weren't friends. Katara was certain Zuko's sister had a problem with them dating. Zuko's girlfriend before her had been one of Azula's closest friends, and Katara suspected that Azula was waiting for a chance to throw them together again, though Katara wasn't sure why. Zuko had admitted to her that he only dated Mai because he felt like he was expected to.

That left only Iroh to discuss, and Katara saw Iroh almost as often as she saw Zuko. Still, retreading old news and catching Zuko up with what he'd missed with the rest of their friends ate up time pleasantly. By the time they finished their meals and asked for the check, it was almost time to head back to the clinic. All at once, reality burst the delicate bubble they'd managed to build around themselves.

They walked back slowly, stretching out the ten-minute walk into nearly fifteen. They paused at the edge of the parking lot.

"Do you think my dad will kick me out?" she asked quietly. Zuko looked down at her, his brow quirked in surprise.

"What?"

"When we were talking to Aunt Wu, and she was telling us about the programs for...girls like me, you said that I could stay with you, but you didn't say my dad wouldn't kick me out." Zuko stared at her for a long, thoughtful moment. He had been kicked out by his father. Kicked out and left with a physical reminder of his father's rage in the form of a scar on his face. Zuko knew all about how some fathers could treat their children, but...

"Your dad isn't like my dad," he said quietly. "I don't think he'll kick you out. I just wanted Aunt Wu to know that no matter what, you're going to have someone to take care of you. Those programs she mentioned...it's great that they exist, but you won't need them. I promise." Katara swallowed hard against a lump in her throat before she leaned up and kissed Zuko's cheek, right where the scar met unblemished skin.

"I love you," she said.

"Love you, too."

Aunt Wu didn't keep them waiting long. As soon as Meng saw them come in, she let her boss know and Aunt Wu swept them into her office less than five minutes after they got back.

"I'm sure this isn't a surprise to you," Aunt Wu said without preamble. "You're pregnant. I'd guess roughly six or seven weeks based on what you told me, but I'll need to give you an ultrasound to know for sure. I can schedule you for this afternoon if you're ready." Katara's body had gone cold. It shouldn't have been a surprise. She had taken the home test- the best one she could find in the drug store. She had been sick, and she had felt all the usual symptoms of pregnancy she'd read about online. Still, this made it more real somehow. She wasn't surprised, but she could apparently still be shocked.

"Will you need my insurance information?" Katara asked.

"As I said earlier, we don't have to go through insurance," Aunt Wu told her. "You can pay cash, or if you can't afford it, we can offer you one for free."

"Free?" Katara's brow drew down in confusion. Aunt Wu's words were only half registering. It was as if she were speaking a language that Katara only understood a few words of.

"We offer assistance to low-income patients who need it," Aunt Wu explained.

"How much will it cost?" Katara wracked her brain trying to remember how much she had in her savings. Aunt Wu gave her the price, and Katara winced. She could cover it with her savings, but she had been looking to buy a car soon. That would set her back months.

"We can split it," Zuko offered hesitantly. "Or I can cover it all."

"You need that for school," Katara reminded him.

"It wouldn't hurt me too badly." Zuko shrugged. "Uncle isn't charging me rent, and I was able to get all the books I need for this semester cheap." Katara smiled weakly at Zuko and shook her head.

"We'll split it," she said. "This is my responsibility, too."

"That's settled," Aunt Wu stood and led them to another exam room. This one was larger and contained an ultrasound machine. Zuko was allowed to stay this time. Once Katara was settled on the table, Aunt Wu had her lift her shirt, then she coated Katara's stomach with a thick layer of cold gel before pressing the ultrasound wand onto Katara's stomach. She moved it around a bit before she paused on one spot.

On the screen was the first image of the baby growing in Katara's stomach. It didn't look much like a baby. It was about the size of a pea and shaped like a shrimp, but it was there. Aunt Wu pointed out the head and to where the barest beginnings of limbs were beginning to take form.

"You're a few weeks along," Aunt Wu said. "I'd say just over six weeks at this point. We can't pick up a heartbeat just yet. That usually happens around eight weeks. But if you were less than six weeks, it would be much smaller." Katara and Zuko stared at the screen transfixed. Aunt Wu gave them a moment before she cleared her throat.

"You are still early enough that you have a couple of different options if you decide to terminate," Aunt Wu said. "We can do it with a pill, or by an in-clinic procedure. I can give you the pill to take at home, which a lot of people prefer. It can take about a day to work, though, and some people need more than one dose."

"Will it make me sick?" Katara asked.

"Essentially, it'll induce a miscarriage," Aunt Wu explained. "It'll be like getting your period, but just a bit heavier. You won't feel great, but you won't need to go to a doctor. If that's what you want to do, I'd suggest getting the pill as soon as possible. It's most effective if you're eight weeks or less. You can take it up to eleven weeks, but the longer you wait, the less effective it is.

"Your other option is the in-clinic procedure," she continued. "It's also a bit pricier, but we'll work out a payment plan if you still don't want to go through insurance. If you qualify, we can do it for free.

The process is fairly simple. We'll sedate you, dilate your cervix, and use suction tool to remove the fetus. That way is the fastest way, and we can perform it up to 14 weeks into the pregnancy.

"Will it hurt?" Katara asked. Her eyes were still fixed on the screen.

"It'll be uncomfortable," Aunt Wu said honestly. "But it won't be unbearable. Depending on how bad your cramps usually are during your period, you might not be able to tell the difference. You'll bleed a bit heavier than normal, and you'll want to avoid anything strenuous for a few days, but most of our patients don't need much downtime if they need any at all. A lot of it does depend on when you have the procedure done. The longer you wait, the more uncomfortable it'll be."

"And what about..." Katara's voice trailed off as she nodded towards the screen. Aunt Wu turned to follow her gaze.

"There's some debate on it," she told Katara. "But most professionals believe that the nervous system isn't developed enough to feel pain before the second trimester." Katara lowered her gaze from the screen to her exposed stomach. No one would be able to tell by looking at her that she was pregnant, but she could see the soft swell in her belly already. If she terminated this pregnancy, would that slight bump disappear? Aunt Wu took the ultrasound wand off of Katara's stomach, and the picture on the screen vanished.

"We can also keep treating you if you want to keep the pregnancy," Aunt Wu told her. "We can help with the cost if that's an issue, and help you apply for government assistance if you need it. We also partner with educational providers if you want to take parenting or birthing classes. We provide care up to birth, and we even work with midwives in the area. We also work with two adoption agencies, if you should decide to go that route.

"One agency handles domestic adoptions- that is, the families looking to adopt live in this country. The other agency does international adoptions. You'll have to reach out to them for all the pertinent details, but in both cases, the adoptive family usually covers any medical bills regarding the pregnancy. I believe the international adoptions are closed after the birth of the child, but the domestic agency gives you the option of an opened or closed adoption."

Aunt Wu took a warm, damp cloth from a bin and cleaned the gel off of Katara's stomach gently, then reached up and patted her hand.

"I'm sure you're feeling overwhelmed," she said. "You have a few weeks to make a decision, but I wouldn't wait too long. Feel free to call us if you have any questions." With that, Aunt Wu left the couple alone in the exam room.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17, Part 18, Part 19, Part 20, Part 21

[ordinaryschmuck]

What I Thought About the First Season of--

Salutations random people on the internet who most likely won’t read this! I am an Ordinary Schmuck. I write stories and reviews and draw comics and cartoons.

When I first saw the sneak peek of--

...I...didn't...think it would be anything all that special. I love animation, and I love superheroes, so it would go without saying that I would love an animated series about superheroes. But the animation looked a little too stiff for my liking, and aside from featuring J.K. Simmons, there wasn't anything grabbing me when it comes to this show.

Then I heard some s**t goes down at the end of episode one. So, letting my curiosity get the better of me, I binged the entire series in a day to see what the fuss was about. And, um...Yeah. Holy s**t.

This is a series that will very much make you uncomfortable in all the right ways. However, it is a gigantic gorefest at times, so if you get queasy after a single drop of blood, DON'T WATCH THIS SHOW! Trust me, you will not be prepared for what this series has to offer.

At the same time, I highly recommend you watch this series before reading this review. I'm going to spoil major plot points and characters so I can appropriately discuss what I think about the season, so trust me when I say you should click away if you haven't watched it yet. It's one of those series that are better to go in as blind as possible. You can call it a cheap way to appeal to shock value, but I call it one of the best reasons why--

...Is a contender for best-animated series of the decade--That bit with the title card isn't going away anytime soon, is it?

WHAT I LIKE

The Guardians of the Globe vs. The Mauler Twins: This is the best possible way for the series to begin. The first fight scene is bright, colorful, and kinda fun. Thus setting the ultimate expectation subversion in making audiences think that will be the series staple. However, just because it has the energy of a harmless superhero fight, there is a sense of intensity as the Guardians give their all in saving others. Like that moment with Darkwing (Not the duck) as he rescues that woman without hesitation, despite knowing he might die because of it. Or Green Ghost, who just barely rescues all those civilians from that falling debris. It shows that you don't need intense scenes of violence to make a fight scene thrilling to watch.

Diversity Wins: I don't know how diverse the comics are compared to the show, but I'm impressed with how inclusive this series is. So many members of the main cast are people of color, with the main lead being half-Korean. And it's not just different races that the series shines a light on, as we also get the rare, but very much welcomed, animated male gay character. Who's thankfully isn't cliched in ten ways to Sunday...for the most part. It really does seem like writers are starting to grow up and that it's better to be as inclusive as possible instead of pretending certain people don't exist for the sake of "convenience." It might not solve oppression in general, but it certainly makes certain people feel better, even if it is briefly.

Mark Grayson: Mark is a pretty solid super-protagonist if you ask me. Sure, at first, he comes across as whiney...and even more so in later episodes, but he's really an endearing character at times. Mark nails the role of the relatable everyman that's also inspirational with his determination since he never gives up until beaten to the inch of his life. Seriously, while he might not entirely be--

...I guess that bit with the title card really isn't going away.

Anyways, while he might not entirely be invulnerable in the literal sense, he is very much so in the figurative sense. Mark, in so many ways, refuses to call quits once he finally gets the hang of being a superhero, which is what makes him so inspirational. Plus, it's funny seeing how much of a rookie he can be to the gig at times. Mark is far from a perfect lead but is still charming to a fault, and it's nice seeing him grow more heroic each episode. I hope to see him develop more in future seasons, as he has the potential to be ranked higher up as one of my favorite superheroes (it's hard to compete with Spider-Man and Batman, but he'll make me consider it).

Debbie Grayson: This is almost what I expect a mother and wife of superheroes would be. 

Your son is constantly crash landing in your yard? Tell him to knock it off because he's past his curfew. 

Your husband disappeared into another dimension to fight off invaders? Shrug it off and expect that he'll be late for dinner.

It's a ton of fun to watch, and I adore how supportive she is of Mark, despite how much danger he could be in as a superhero. But, what really endears me with Debbie is her complicated feelings with Omni-Man. There's not a doubt in my mind that she loved him with her whole heart, but she also isn't an idiot. She is quick to pick up how unheroic her husband can be at times, often scolding him for it when necessary. And when she finally starts investigating if he really did kill the Guardians, I love that she instantly comes up with every single plausible excuse she can, despite knowing the truth. Because she believes that she knows who Omni-Man is and refuses any possibility that he might be a supervillain. So when she finds out that there really is no other explanation and hearing him call her a pet (big ouch when that happened), you wanna know what she does? She cries. Not because the man she loved is gone forever, but because the idea of him is. And it's that level of emotional devastation that comes from those complicated emotions that make me think Debbie Grayson is the most complex and endearing character on the show. And I. Will. Stand by that.

Seeing the Guardians of the Globe on their down time: Wow, what a cute collection of scenes that are charming as much as they are heartwarming! A set of scenes that show how human these characters are with their close relationships with friends and family! I sure hope it's not followed up with a brutal emotional gut-punch of a scene that will be even more devastating after thinking back on these! Especially with that bit with Martian Man and the little girl, cause OOO-WEE, would THAT tear me up inside!

Omni Man destroying the Guardians of the Globe:...I'd follow through on my joke here, but holy s**t.

That's really the best way I can describe all of this. It is a brutal, I repeat, BRUTAL scene that will stick with you hours after watching it. Not only that, but it's one of the few instances when I was damn near speechless because I couldn't think of anything else to say other than, "Holy s**t." The only time another superhero property did that was Avengers: Infinity War, except with that, the only difference is that the characters come back. Here, except for The Immortal, the Guardians stay dead! There's no magic amulet or alternate versions from another dimension. No, they die and never come back. Thus setting up how serious the show can be. Because if these superheroes can stay dead, then so can others.

Plus, what makes it more impactful is how throughout the entire fight, there was a glimpse of hope that the Guardians can beat Omni-Man. I heard he got nerfed for the sake of drama, and I approve of that decision. Because if he was really--

...If he was really unbeatable, then the fight doesn't have weight to it. There wouldn't be a point in rooting for these characters to win when we already know they're going to lose. But, by showing there's a chance that they could win, it becomes all the more intense watching the fight and even more tragic seeing them lose. It is a masterpiece of a battle that proves once and for all: Batman is right. You need contingency plans.

Omni Man: J. Jonah Jameson has become the one thing he hates the most: A masked MENACE...Ok, I know Omni-Man doesn't wear a mask, so the joke doesn't work as well as it could. But it was served to me on a silver platter, damn it! I had to take it!

In all seriousness, though, Omni-Man might give Homelander a run for his money on best evil Superman. Because while Homelander might be terrifying in his own right with his style of evil, Omni-Man takes it a step up a notch with the mystery behind WHY he killed the Guardians of the Globe. We know right away that there's something off with him, but up until that point, we see multiple instances of Omni-Man doing the right thing rather than the wrong. Sure, he might come off as cold when interacting with people, but so does Batman and other great superheroes in comics. That doesn't mean he's evil. So when he does do something so incredibly heinous, we're left with this mystery as to why. Because there has to be a reason for it all, right? Like, maybe mind control or his family was threatened. Something and anything that means he was forced into killing the noblest of people. So when it turns out that his actions were intentional, it is already pretty devastating. But when we find out why he does these things, it paints how truly evil Omni-Man is, given how little respect he has for human life.

Plus, as terrifying as Homelander is, Omni-Man is ten times more of an engaging villain. With Homelander, what you see is what you get: A narcissist with a god complex. For Omni-Man, it's more or less the same thing, but it's something fed to him because of the conditioning from his planet. There is a tiny, molecule-sized part of him that genuinely cares about others. It doesn't change what he does, nor does it mean he deserves forgiveness (far from it), but it hints that maybe he's not evil because of his own ego. It's because of how he's trained to be. And judging by his pained expressions from Mark's words and the single tear he sheds when leaving everything behind, there's a chance that he might be willing to fight back that mentality.

Or he will stay evil, and that he'll return to do worse things in the future. I don't know. I haven't read the comics. But I feel like I don't need to read anything to tell you all that Omni-Man is up there as one of the most intriguing comic book villains of all time, and I can't wait to see what happens with him next.

This show is f**king Violent: I mean, I refer you back to that scene where Omni-Man destroys the Guardians of the Globe. But, unlike other shows that use violence to force that mature rating, I feel as though In--

...Title card. You were cute the first time, but now your novelty has quickly worn thin.

Anyways, I feel as though this show...uses gore more appropriately. More often than not, death and carnage get treated as a literal joke in adult cartoons because people are sick bastards, I guess. But with...the current series I'm talking about, it all has an impact. No one dies or gets mangled for the sake of shock value or for a laugh. Instead, every instance of this type of violence is to either make a point, set the tone, or prove just how dangerous a specific character is. It makes...the series more mature than most adult cartoons you'll find because it actually brings a worthy discussion for its violence rather than milking it to give the illusion of maturity. And I gotta respect the writers for doing that.

Cecil: This man is basically Nick Fury if he was overpowered but in a good way. There is just something about a man who knows superheroes are needed in the world but also trusts a "hero" like Omni-Man as far as he can throw him. Not only does Cecil have contingency plans for his contingency plans, but the guy also knows to send the right heroes out for the exact missions that require them. Plus, a man is an instant badass when he's stone-faced about a demon saying he'll go somewhere worse than hell and is calm when being face-to-face with an angry Omni-Man.

I don't make the rules. I just abide by them.

The title card gets bloodier with each episode: This is just a really cool gimmick. It proves how intense this show can really be and how the stakes get higher and higher with each installment. Also, I like to think the amount of blood that splashes over the title card reflects how brutal the episode will be, especially with episode eight, 'cause holy hell.

The plot structure: The way the story works is very similar to how a comic book series handles its overarching narrative. Even though the writers begin a new arc that continues for a handful of issues, the overall main plot still develops in the background of the current adventure the hero goes through. That's basically how--

>Intense inhale<

>Calm exhale<

That's basically how THIS SHOW operates. Each episode can be seen as its own story that's given a ton of room to develop with its forty-five-minute runtime (which blew my f**king mind when I started binging it). Despite that, there's still a great sense of continuity. Everything involving Omni-Man and the mystery behind his murder of the Guardians gets fleshed out throughout the season, even when it takes the background of Mark's escapades. It really does feel like sitting down and taking the time to read an entire volume of comics, which I like to believe is the intention. After all, what's the point of making a series about superheroes if you don't make it feel like a comic book at least once?

Dark Blood: I desire a series based on this character alone. I know it's probably just Hellboy, but I want it. 

The idea of a demon solving murder crimes to work off his debt in Hell is too much of a remarkable concept to strictly be a c-plot in one series. Give Dark Blood a spin-off, damn it!

The Realistic Portrayal of a Superhero world: Unlike certain superhero properties--*cough* DC *cough*--it's--

>Huff<

>Puff<

>HUFF<

>PUFF<

>HUFF<

It's. This. F**KING. SHOW! That really does an excellent job at portraying how much it would suck to live in a world of superheroes. Sure, you got the cool battles and awe-inspiring heroes with incredible powers, but do you know what else you get? Hundreds upon thousands of people dying from the very threats those heroes fight against. Not to mention all the realistic physics that come from people like Mark trying to save others. Just look at how mangled that old woman looked when he attempted to help her. It, uh...It sure did not look great. Don't get me wrong, I love superheroes and the worlds they live in. But when watching a show like...this one, it really makes me appreciate how I don't live in those worlds with them.

It’s Still Funny: This is something I appreciate the most. When most superhero shows go for the realistic approach, they go with the doom and gloom route, making everything so melodramatic about how serious the world is. But here's the thing: Superheroes are f**king stupid.

Don't tell me they're not because they are. Superheroes have cornball hero names, bright costumes, and logos on their foreheads, chests, belts, and what-have-you. Taking a superhero too seriously is the worst mistake you could make, which is why I love the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Say what you want about Marvel having "too many jokes," but at least they know it's for the best to laugh at themselves and embrace the weirdness. It's something similar with...you know what. Because while the series tells a serious and realistic story about superheroes, it's still a story about superheroes. So it tells some jokes and some pretty funny ones at that. Because while it's essential to include some drama in a story such as the one in...you know what, it's just as important to never forget to have some fun.

“Earth is not yours to conquer.”: Such a great line that gains an even greater meaning once we fully know who Omni-Man is. The main creditor for how effective it is goes to J.K. Simmons for making the line sound explicit yet implicit at the same time.

Allen the Alien: ...It is an absolute crime that this character only has about six minutes of screentime. Allen is such a bro, partially because of Seth Rogan's performance, that I would honestly be upset if he doesn't show up more often in later seasons. Seriously, bring him back for more.

The Mauler Twins: Thankfully, these characters get as much attention as they deserve. The banter between the Mauler Twins is always entertaining, often being the comedic highlights at times. On top of being funny, they also work as efficient villains who can come across as threatening at times.

But what I love most of all about these two is the explanation behind the cloning process. The reasoning of why neither character remembers which one is the cone is a brilliant idea that I'm surprised no one else did in the past (to my knowledge). It also provides some excellent fruit for thought in wondering if it really is better to live your life not knowing if you're a clone or not. The whole thing is great to watch, and it makes me really glad for their inclusion...too bad they had to be forced into a story that makes a character look like a reckless superhero and an inconsiderate jackass to his friend. Seriously, what was up with that?

“That Actually Hurt”: This just might be my favorite episode of the first season. Machine Head is both equally hilarious and devious, Titan might just be my favorite character due to how intriguing his allegiances and motivations are, that final fight was the perfect amount of brutal, and we get the biggest hint of the man Omni-Man really is. Having him simply watching Mark instead of flying in to help him actually shocked me the first time seeing it. It's not until we learn what a Viltrumite really is that it becomes clear as to why. He doesn't care about saving his son but instead seeing Mark reach the same potential Omni-Man did during that smash fest the planet went through to reach perfection. And something tells me he felt more disappointment than sadness after seeing his son get nearly killed by Tony the Tiger (I know he has an actual name...but this is funnier to me). It's such a solid moment with great implications that just so happens to exist in an even greater episode.

Eve deciding to just help people for the heck of it: I actually love this idea more for the potential it has rather than what actually happens so far. Because the main reason why heroes don't fly around and solve every little minute problem people have is that they need to learn how to act without help. If you suddenly make food appear out of thin air or stopping forest fires, you're doing good, but there's also potential harm that comes from it. I think back to that episode of The Powerpuff Girls, where the townspeople are so idiotic and complacent with having their heroes solve every problem that they really can't think or act for themselves. A similar thing can happen with Eve if she's not careful. Even worse, if she keeps trying to end famine for farmers, because she might get into a Supergirl situation with people building a cult around her. And, you know, that's not going to be fun.

But again, that's just the potential that this presents. We--Or the people who haven't read the comics--don't know if Eve will actually face this issue. Regardless, we still get some solid moments that proves just how much Eve is a true hero in this series as she has no other motive to help people other than she just wants to. And I actually think that's pretty cool.

The Immortal’s rematch: I gotta hand it to the guy. Not a second after being brought back to life, and The Immortal's already flying off to get revenge on the bastard who killed his closest friends in the world. Or, globe, I guess.

I respect that, to be honest.

(As a bonus, The Immortal causing Omni-Man's eyes to become bloodshot adds to how evil he'll be in the last episode)

Mark trying to snap his dad out of mind-control: Oh, I felt that.

I'm pretty sure we all felt that.

Ow...Big ow.

The Train Scene: ...This is the most horrific thing I have seen in entertainment. Seriously, while Omni-Man annihilating the Guardians left me speechless, this is another level. Because him using Mark's body to kill a train full of people ramming into them, leaving Mark all the more helpless to stop it, makes a scene that is so...so hard for me to describe how effectively f**ked up it is. It's one of those moments where just by seeing it, you know why it's awful in all the right ways. And I will never forget the look of shock and horror on my face when it reflected onto my laptop's screen after the scene briefly cut to black soon after the carnage. Because if that doesn't explain how unmerciful this moment is, I don't know what will.

Saving Mark after the fight: I really love this because as it flashes between still images of people carrying Mark away after his brutal fight with Omni-Man, it really feels like you're reading a comic from panel to panel. It’s pretty neat. I won’t lie.

WHAT I DISLIKE

The Animation isn’t that great: Now, in terms of action, the animation is fantastic. You feel the impact of each attack, there are some creative uses of powers, and the gore is better implemented because it's all animated. As for everything else...yeah, it kinda sucks. Movements are a little stiff at times, the CGI backgrounds could use a bit more polish, and don't get me started on the CGI crowds of people. I understand the shortcuts that need to be taken to make everything else more effective, but man, this series needed a little more time in the oven before being shown to everyone. It's never too bad, but it can be pretty distracting at times.

Amber: F**k Amber. Just f**k her. Everything people tell you that is wrong with her is one-hundred percent on point. She is easily one of the worst love interests, and to me, it has everything to do with the fact that she knows Mark is--

...That she knows Mark is--

...

...

...ThatsheknowsMarkisInvinci--

--BECAUSE IT INVALIDATES ANY POINT SHE HAS, GOSH DANGIT! I don't give a single S**T if she's upset that he's late all the time! If Amber was always unaware of it, then I would understand. But having her know means that she thinks her issues are more important than Mark, oh, I don't know, SAVING THE PLANET! I mean, the girl helps feed the homeless! You would think she would understand.

But fine. Maybe Amber's just upset that Mark's lying to her. Sure. That's understandable...BUT WHAT THE F**K IS UP WITH HER BLOWING UP IN HIS FACE FOR NOT HELPING ANYBODY AT THE COLLEGE WHEN SHE KNOWS HE'S HELPING EVERYBODY!? Even if it's her giving Mark one last chance to tell her the truth (which is a mile of a stretch, and you know it), did she really expect him to reveal his secret with tons of people watching? That is a crazy expectation that no one should live up to!

Amber is quite possibly the worst thing about this show. She was fine at first, and her chemistry with Mark was on point, but MAN, did she get worse later on.

And if I see one mother f**ker calling me a racist because I don't like this character who just so happens to be black...I'm going to be upset, not gonna lie. Because that is a cheap shot to dismiss any criticism, especially since her race has NOTHING to do with why people hate her...Or, at least, most people.

Edit (5/27/2021): Disregard the above. The long and short is that I don’t like Amber. She just doesn’t sit right with me for the reasons that her anger towards Mark just never felt entertaining to me in comparision to everything else. But saying her thoughts and arguements are invalid is not cool, and I’m sorry to both any readers who are black or especially female who would be upset by this.

Rex-splode: I understand the point behind Rex. He's a character who we're supposed to hate, so it becomes so much more satisfying seeing others s**t on him. But those characters are hard to get right if you’re not careful. Make them too irritating, then any suffering they go through will seem too little. Make them not annoying enough, and their punishments can be too harsh. Rex fits into the "too irritating" category. It's satisfying to see Monster Girl wreck his s**t after he started commenting how ineffective she might be, but with what he pulled with Dupli-Kate, I feel as though he might deserve worse. Although I will admit Rex gets slightly better in later episodes, showing at least a smidgen of character development. But I don't think it's enough to make his a**holeness worth it. Still, I hope he at least becomes above decent in the next few seasons, which is way more than what I can say for Amber.

(Seriously, writers, if she just disappears without an ounce of an explanation in the season premiere, I won't question it. You have my word.)

Edit: I no longer agree with what I crossed out, but I won’t delete it either. I want people to know the mistake I made so I can prove that I changed in the future.

Robot cloning himself to be with Monster Girl: ...Nope! 

Nope!

Changed my mind.

I am NOT touching that.

I will touch a lot of things, but I will not touch--That came out wrong.

Please forget you read anything.

Thank you, and goodnight.

Let’s move on

Transitioning to the title card: Here it is! The nitpickiest of all nitpicks! But, seeing how it happens in every episode, meaning that the writers have no choice but to commit to it, means it's one of those things that viewers are forced to get used to. And boy, is the transition to the title card hard to get used to! Oh, you thought it was annoying how it kept happening in this review? Well...fair enough. But trust me when I say it's much more aggravating in the show.

The funny thing is, I had no problem the first time it happened. It was a cute way to introduce the character as well as the title of the series. But having that be the basis for transitioning to the title card every time was a gimmick that got old real quick. Especially since every time that a character says the word--

--it always feels forced. What's even more annoying is that sometimes it interrupts characters as they're saying invin--

LIKE! F**KING! THAT! Because interrupting someone before they say something is one thing, but doing so as they're saying it shows a sense of bad timing. Not even that, because this is something that I feel like could have been the easiest to change in the series by having someone go, "Hey, maybe we should edit out this single second."

It's laziness that doesn't happen often, but it still grinds my gears a bit. Plus, is there really no other smoother transition the writers could come up with? Did they really believe this is the best way to do it?

Think, writers! THINK!

It's fine to have a gimmick, but this is one that really shouldn't have any follow-through on.

-------------

That's about all the issues I have with the show. It's far from perfect, but still, an A- is pretty impressive work. The stuff that this series does right not only outnumbers the mistakes but also heavily outweighs them. Besides, no show in the history of creativity has ever been perfect in its first season. There are always dents that need to get buffed out and improve upon for the subsequent seasons to come. Only then can a series truly be Invincible from all criticism.

...

...Oh, sure. 

SURE!

NOW it lets me say it!

GOSH, DANGIT, I HATE THAT TITLE CARD!