#but i think thats for you to decide not me

[scartale-an-undertale-au]

So... I see this a decade after i decided to simply... Stop instigating conversations because i felt like im simply burdening others with my presence and that they actually felt annoyed having to hear from me and wished i wouldnt send messages.

The thing is that none of them ever approached me afterwards. When we saw each other after a while we would be ecstatic but there was a wall between us already and i dont know if its simply life going on and us being very different than back then, or that they truly didnt see me the same as i saw them (as my besties).

One time i met one of them (this one specifically was my best friend from first grade until twelve basically) on the street and i see that she's married and walking with her husband. Turns out the wedding was that sunday and i wasnt even notified of it happening or of the engagement. I wasnt mad about not being invited, but i was hurt for not even being notified! She then turned to her husband and said that im a friend of her from high school.

Its been a decade from high school so i can see why she said that, but that hurt me so badly that the moment i waved them goodbye and they disappeared around a corner, i collapsed and just sobbed. I was so heartbroken. It seemed that i was the only one who still thought of her as my old school's bestie or had thought of including her in any future milestones simply because she was so important to me.

So i dont know how i feel about this post. I understand where you guys are coming from and its in good intentions, but the main issue is that many kids who become the sole instigators were never shown that they can be vulnerable in front of their friends about this matter. It felt like its your duty and how you contribute to the group. And when it became harder and harder, the friends never questioned why you pulled away or asked for your wellbeing. It turned into a situation when you feel more like a nuisance than a leader.

Fortunately, i have now friends who instigate so much more than me and i keep telling them how i appreciate it and apologise for how terrible i am at texting back and that its never because i dont want them to text me. Its simply because texting or answering messages had become so hard for me and so mentally taxing i sometimes shut down when i see messages i need to reply to.

So rambling aside, as much as i appreciate your sentiment, i think a different approach would be helpful.

My approach (which is not better or worse, just a different approach) is to get comfortable with a 'friends for one day' reality. I go so many times to so many places and meet so many amazing people, we always say we'll contact one another and keep in touch and then never contact one another again, and that's alright.

You have to be comfortable with being friends without focusing on the 'keeping the friendship going' let people come and go. Those who truly want to stick around will stick around, and they usually have a much deeper connection with you that isnt dependant on who instigates the conversations.

My friends are those that mostly text in memes and reels since we dont see each other often. And i do the same in return. Its easier and relays so much more. We have proper conversations here and there, but our actual interactions happen physically. And they instigate meetups much more than i do and i always make sure that they know that i appreciate it. One of my friends and i also have some differences in opinions, so we have some long discussions.

I also have a friend who i dont text to at all but invites me to shabbat meals once in a while and i come over and its like no time had passed. I invite her back for bbq or shabbat as well, but thats also once in a blue moon.

Another friend is across the ocean so its mostly photos and small comments and talks about our lives and since the war began, she keeps checking if im alive and well.

Another friend is also across the ocean and we mostly speak about our realities of being jews or squeal over her precious daughter or make plans for when she finally comes to Israel.

So my friends arent part of one group but many branches of different aspects of my life. I would say i have around seven/eight of them that arent my current co workers (work friendship is also temporary and i accept that fully and enjoy our time together) and im truly blessed because i had let go of the desperate need to keep my friends together.

So please dont call us a bitch for not willing to talk about it. And we're certainly not mini community leaders, we're just people who are friends with those that never cared about reaching out first or affirming our friendship in any kind of way. Its not fair to put the expectations of reaching out onto the one who constantly did that. Friends who truly want to keep up a friendship will attempt to do so when they see that the other side isnt as present as previously.

Sorry im all over the place, im on my phone and its harder to articulate on it

every now and then the internet decides it should revamp the ole “stop texting first and see how many friends you lose” when in reality you could literally just communicate that u feel bad that ur the only one texting first

[sluttyminghao]

for end of the year ask game how about wonwoo + corrpution kink? if thats not something youre comfortable with writing then u can just throw this away but i truly havent been able to get this combination out of my head

you truly looked like an angel the moment he laid his eyes on you for the first time; hair flowing delicately, lips plump and juicy, and wearing the cutest white swimsuit. he knew it wouldn't be long before he had you in the palm of his hand.

he needed to corrupt that sweet, innocent soul of yours.

and it only took him a matter of weeks, introducing himself at a coffee shop you both happened to go to before work. he left his number on a piece of paper in the palm of your hand before turning and leaving, your heart racing.

you wait until after work to text him, and he simply replies with his address, a time, and "wear something white to match your angelic soul". you can already feel the red flags waving around in your mind but the urge to know more about this man outweighs the cons.

he lets you in immediately, and his gaze draws down your body hungrily as he takes in the white lacy dress you decided on. he pulls you in and starts making small talk with you, so you can learn a little about each other at least.

you're not sure when or how it happened, but wonwoo, as you knew now, was leaving hickeys on your neck and marking your skin beautifully, your panties growing damp. you weren't even quite sure what to do, which he seemed to recognize.

"oh, babygirl, i'm going to corrupt your innocent little mind until all you can think about is me." the grin on his face almost makes you moan, but you bite your lip to hold it back. within moments you're both bare, and he's drinking you in with his lust filled eyes.

with every thrust of his hips, you feel your sanity slipping away. he's filling you up so good that he's all you can think about, to the point where he actually makes you squirt. he chuckles as you hide your face in embarrassment, but it doesn't slow him down from fucking you any harder.

once he's made you both cum, he helps you to dress and sends you on your way with a wink and a slight tap on your ass. you hear him mumble something under his breath as you limp away, making you turn around.

"come back when you're ready for me to corrupt you again."

you immediately turn on your heel and re-enter his apartment, a devilish grin spreading on his features as he closes the door behind you and follows you to his bedroom.

[theartofwoompwoomp]

I never knew we could coexist together 

Shadow x reader

Summary : shadow is surprised to learns that humans understand grief. And he learns it from the human that’s the most tolerable and happiest in his life. 

———————————————————————

“Do you really think you could ever understand.” 

His voice ragged and tight from the anger. There’s no way anyone could understand what he lost. Especially not you…

You have everything. A happy family, friends, a place in this world. 

 he had nothing…

Sure others may have accepted him, yet it has never been the same and it hasn’t ever taken the pain.

Someone as happy as you wouldn’t and shouldn’t ever understand his pain. 

His grip getting tighter in his hand, he can feel himself shaking a bit as he lowers his eyes to the ground.

He feels bad for snapping at you. He wasn’t expecting to have all his pent up anger explode on you. Finally the shame starts crawling it’s way and he was getting ready to leave. He didn’t want to see your face.

Not right now, when he feels so angry with you even though you’re the only one thats stuck around. 

All his emotions are spinning all over his head just waiting for another opportunity to explode, and he does not want you to be at the end of it.

Without saying anything else, he keeps his head down as he turns to leave. 

But just as he’s a few steps away his are is pulled back quite forcefully towards you again.

“What do you think you’re doing—“

You hugged him.

Holding tight making sure you won’t let go of him. He tenses a bit not fully processing what you’re doing. 

Why are still trying? Why do you still care even if he hurt you? He doesn’t deserve you.

Before he realizes it, he’s holding you close as well. 

Nothing is said between either of you, he’s simply shaking a bit in your arms as you rub his back a bit.

Memories come back to him. Those of maria, his actions, and of you.

Small tears roll down his cheeks but he could care less at the moment. “It hurts.” His voice broken and tired from all the pain that never goes away.

You hugged him a bit tighter as you whisper a bit into his ears, “I know shads, i know.” Not daring to let go or abandon him in this moment, you wait it out. Feeling your own tears slowly dropping as well as his cries intensify.

He feels like he just got ran over, but at least you’re still there, holding him. Both of you more calmed down from the whole ordeal. 

He finally decides to let go from your embrace and you let him. 

He sits on the ground and you follow along and sit next to him. Just waiting to see who’ll be the first to speak.

Surprisingly after a few minutes shadow softly starts speaking, “i don’t want to talk about it.” His brows furrow a bit, “i appreciate your kindness, but I don’t like speaking about my pain.” 

He feels you caress his hand. “That’s okay,” holding it firmly when turns it offering you to continue your action of affection, “i understand that pain can be hard to share.”

He turns to see you, eyes glazing over you face wondering what ever could have caused you pain to make that expression.

“You might be surprised but humans suffer from many things. Some of us are just a little better at pretending nothing’s wrong.” 

“Doesn’t it hurt to do that?”

You look over, seeing his worry through his eyes. “Of course it does. Suffering is always painful.” Your eyes and hands never leaving one another. Sharing more emotions this way than any words could describe.

You lean a bit onto him, “but you know,” he reciprocates as you continue, “i think that’s a reason why there’s so many of us in the first place. Maybe so we could  help each other through the pain… it’s too bad many seem forget the value of this”

He shifts a bit as he feels you move again. This time you’re kneeling a bit in front of him. 

“That’s why I’m so glad that I at least have you in my life.”

His heart twinges a bit, feeling guilty for trying to ever push you away. And you notice it before he even says anything.

“Please don’t shut me out,” you’re hugging him again.

And he hugs you back, holding you softly as he feels your breath on his shoulder. Your actions and words melting all the doubt and numbing the pain. He’s comforted knowing that you’re not going nowhere, staying right there with him.

“Im glad that it’s you, and not anyone else at my side.” 

———————————————————————

masterlist

[xxplastic-cubexx]

talking to my brother about quicksilver and i was like 'ik him and wanda are twins but he exudes little brother energy so much' and my bro Without Hesitation just went 'well thats what happens when you're the least favorite in the family' and he says this to me, the youngest in our family like 🧍‍♂️

[euniexenoblade]

I think it's funny you continue to put all your shit in tags still, why are you afraid to speak with your whole chest? If you're so morally right, why aren't you upfront and proud of it?

Transandrophobia is an ideology made by crypto terfs meant to justify harassment and violence against trans women. That's why your community has people like nothorses who cites literal terfs in his writing, or people like crimsonender who cyberstalks trans women and makes posts about wanting to hunt and kill trans women, that's why constantly your community misgender trans women and goes full terfs CONSTANTLY talking about "actually sex based oppression is real and trans women are violent male faggots" there's a new "transandrophobia is real and feminism is fake!" Poster going full terf nearly daily. "I just post about how cool transmascs are!" Cool but that's not what transandrophobia is! Transandrophobia is the theft of feminist ideas and repurposed to kick trans women out. "No one talks about this thing that happens ONLY to trans men" except they do it's been in feminist theory for decades but y'all lie about it cuz it also happens to trans women and anything to erase our experiences and call us privileged males.

"I never said you being a feminist or woman is bad" that's what signaling me as a transandrophobe is "I didn't tell anyone to target you" THATS WHAT CALLING ME TRANSANDROPHOBIc DOES there is literally anonymous hatemail in my inbox that I got relatively close to you doing that, could be coincidence but I fucking doubt it.

"your every post is mocking transmascs 🙄" no it's not???? I write smut. Most of my blog is smut and pictures of anime maids. You don't know anything about me, you saw like one post on my blog about transmisogyny and decided I was some terrible misandrist or whatever.

And if transandrophobia actually mattered to you, you wouldn't have reblogged me. It shows how paper thin your morals are, you're spineless.

You're a transmisogynist. You could have reblogged the post without saying a god damn thing, but you didn't and now I'm getting harassment. You could have just kept scrolling and not been a little douchebag cryptoterf, but noooo the tranny is talking so you gotta make sure everyone knows shes a bad one not deserving of respect.

Without hrt, Christmas is just cismas.

[triglycercule]

horror is so BLESSED he's the only one out of the murder time trio that has actual good people trying to influence his story 💔💔 dust and killer were both driven to INSANITY because of the choices of their respective humans but horror??? every time without FAIL the polls for horrortale's plotline have always ended in a good place for aliza (either by bettering her relationships/reputation or for her to just. not DIE)

horrortale's potential alternate timelines my beLOVEd🙏🙏 they're SO lucky that we're being kind and benevolent hehe (≧ω≦) now where are the aus based off the possible different outcomes that could've happened in horrortale HUH???? (like how aliza couldve killed toriel or chosen horror's puzzle or gone with undyne to the core........)

[genderqueerdykes]

We're appreciating these pro-endo posts as an endogenic, especially the fact you account for traumatized endogenics (we at least notice "usually" and other such words in a lot of posts, and were taught at a young age how to analyze shit because of being autistic) so like...thanks. :)

Hopefully y'all are okay, anti-endos are really showing their asses this time in your asks. And we hope everyone else realizes they have always been that bigoted.

hey of course, thanks for sending this ask!

yeah i don't know why people don't understand that endogenic systems can... also have trauma. like. endogenic doesn't mean 100% free from trauma. anyone can have trauma. trauma doesn't always manifest in the most extreme forms possible like dissociative disorders. like i cannot stress enough that dissociative disorders are a very specific kind of plurality, and should NOT be used as a metric to gauge whether or not someone's plural experience is legitimate or not. the diagnostic criteria for dissociative disorders is so painfully restrictive that a lot of people who probably do have a dissociative disorder don't get the diagnosis because it's so fucking specific

and again, i just want to stress that endogenic systems literally are not hurting anyone. you are not spitting in my face or talking over me as a system with DID. you are being respectful by using a term that suits your experience way better. like idk how that is offensive to people. endogenic systems developed a term to express a specific type of plurality. that's not trying to mock or ape on dissociative plurality. it's not an attempt to talk over dissociatives. it's creating an entirely new conversation that needs to be had

people getting upset about endogenic systems are creating mountains out of mole hills. it is quite literally a nothing burger of a problem. there IS no problem. nothing wrong is even happening. like i cannot overstate how fucking annoying it is when other dissociatives decide its time to get on their high horses and act as if they're suddenly experts on psychology and mental health. like it really pisses me off when other plurals with dissociative disorders decide the entire plural community is about them. the dissociative disorder communities are about plurals with dissociative disorders. specifically. you can still occupy spaces made for people with DID, OSDD and so on and leave endogenics alone and the world will keep turning. the sun will rise tomorrow regardless.

learn to mind your own goddamn business if you can't respect that other people experience the world differently than you do. maybe, just maybe, the dissociatives who are intentionally going out of their way to mock and harass endogenic systems are the fucking problem, here. you don't get to be a fucking bully just because you have trauma. you don't get to attack and hurt people who haven't hurt you just because you were abused. that's literally fucking perpetuating the cycle of abuse. if you think to yourself that because you are traumatized, that it's okay to take your anger out on people who have no trauma, you seriously need to reassess your life. what does that do for you? temporary catharsis? a rush of dopamine that lasts mere seconds? chasing the high of harassing strangers will not undo what was done to you in the past.

as a dissociative- i only understand what dissociative plurality is like. i do not understand other forms of plurality. and you know what? i don't find the fact that other types of plurality existing offensive to me. it's just not. i've been very close friends with so many endogenic, spiritual, natural, etc. systems out there over the years. i have never found it offensive for anyone to say "oh hey i'm plural too!" and then explain a different plural experience than the one i have. thats why the term plural even exists, because it encompasses a broad range of plural experiences, not just dissociative ones.

like, to the dissociatives who are pissed off that endos exist: literally stay in dissociative disorder-centric spaces and tags. they're right there. you HAVE a community that you can interact with who understand exactly what you're going through. if it offends you that you find a VARIETY of plural experiences in the general plural community- that community isn't for you. like seriously. if it offends you that deeply that other types of plurality exist- the general plural community is not for you. it's literally not made for you if you can't except that numerous types of plurality exist. you have spaces you can occupy that ARE made 100% for people just like you. you can quite literally stay in spaces made for dissociative plurals only. like. you can do that. that's an option. and you can stop bullying other people out of spaces that they rightfully belong in.

trauma is never excuse to be a fucking jackass. it's perpetuating the cycle of abuse. that's nothing to be proud of. break the cycle. stop abusing people just because you were abused.

[nakylvr]

dealer!dani angst 😭😭 (waiting for part 2).

dealer!dani is getting so popular omg… but hear me out… what if we had a streamer!megan?

-🪼

im gonna be so real i dont really watch streamers like. at all so thats why this took so long...but im here now!! so lets talk about it 😁

warnings/tags: fluff, streamer!megan, f!reader, mild language, established relationship, nsfw content under the cut

streamer!megan who told you that she was a streamer the second you asked why she had such a big recording set up in her bedroom, grinning while excitedly explaining everything to you. she knows most people don't think it's a real job, so she feels quite reassured when you tell her how cool you think it is that all she has to do is play video games while recording herself and she makes money off it. she goes into detail about every piece of her set up like it's her most prized possession, then turning red when realizing how much she was ranting about it before you assure her that it's cute to see her so excited about it

streamer!megan who unfortunately will keep you up in the middle of the night because she's streaming a brand new game that just released. even though she's usually quiet when she's focused on playing, she has to answer questions or comments people are putting in the chat. however if it's any type of fps, fortnite, or a scary game, she will probably start yelling halfway through leaving you throwing a pillow at her to either be quiet or turn it off. which she then apologizes over and over again the next morning when you clearly didn't sleep

streamer!megan who will try to make you play games with her, practically begging on her knees saying that she won't even be streaming and that she just wants to play with you. when you eventually give in she has you sitting there with her for hours playing different games to see what is the best for you and how you play in different games. she'll play fortnite with you, but she will probably end up leaving you behind or you end up dying because she didn't hear you ask her for bandages fifteen times. minecraft is probably the best bet for you two to play together unless it's a scary game, in which you two keep switching who's playing before just turning it off and attempting to sleep.

streamer!megan who will take you to E3 and other gaming conventions with her, even if you try to say no, she's already bought everything and it's all booked. she stays by your side the whole time, her hand never letting go of yours knowing how crowded and chaotic the environment of any convention can get. she buys everything she sees in sight along with anything you want, food, figurines, autographs, exclusive games, everything. she doesn't hesitate to spend her money on things you want or like, even if you try telling her you don't want it, she will still buy it for you. this does mean you have to meet other streamers as well at these conventions, but most of them are nice she reassures you and that she talks to a lot of them or plays with them

streamer!megan who accidentally revealed you to all her followers when she started a live while you were gone, forgetting you would be coming back resulting in you walking into her room and wrapping your arms around her shoulders, not realizing she was live while giving her a quick kiss. she freaks out the second after, and quickly starts explaining she's streaming and that everyone watching just saw, making you freeze thinking you fucked up. megan reassures you that you didn't mess anything up when she sees your face drop, grabbing your hand and pulling you onto her lap and deciding to take it as the opportunity to go public. needless to say, her fans love you

streamer!megan who essentially doesn't sleep, whether she's streaming or not she's playing games into the late night as you lay on the bed trying to convince her to sleep. you managed to come up with a few different ways to get her off the games, some not so as innocent as others when she isn't streaming. when she eventually goes to sleep it's so late that she's still asleep when you get up in the morning like normal, her arms around you in a tight grip to keep you from moving much, leaving you forced to sleep more. not that you'd complain. except for when she wakes up and whines about how tired she is and you tell her again that if she didn't stay up so late that she wouldn't be so tired

streamer!megan who eventually convinces you to play with her while she's streaming, telling you it'll be fun and that she promises she will be fair when playing (she cheats.). you tell her it has to be a game you like though, and she will agree immediately, grinning widely when it's all set up and she starts the live. that being said, no matter what game you're playing, she isn't really paying attention to the game or the chat like she normally would, instead her gaze keeps lingering on you as you genuinely enjoy playing with her while thousands of people watch. her fans notice it instantly, and when you realize and question her on it, she almost cries when explaining that it just makes her so happy to have someone who really enjoys being with her to the point they'd be live in front of thousands playing video games

streamer!megan who is so easy to shop for during the holidays or her birthday. all you have to do is go through her steam cart, see what new games have released she doesn't have yet, or look on gamestop and easily be able to find multiple things for her. she gets so excited, jumping up and down like s little kid no matter what she opens and gets, kissing you multiple times saying how much she loves and appreciates you

streamer!megan who you've figured out how to get her off the game when she's not streaming by touching yourself and purposefully emphasizing your moans just to see her head snap backwards with wide eyes when she hears what you're doing, immediately getting off the game no matter if she remembered to save the file or not

streamer!megan who begs to touch you when you're pleasuring yourself to get her off the game, only for you to tell her she isn't allowed to, causing her to whine and beg more to just get one taste of you

streamer!megan who you've eaten out while under her desk and she's streaming, your eyes staring up at her as she tries to keep quiet before ending up turning off the stream and game to grab your hair and push you closer to her

streamer!megan who's hands you've tied behind her back while she sits in her gaming chair and you give her a lap dance. she squirms around so much, begging you to untie her hands so she can touch you to the point tears well in her eyes

streamer!megan who asks if she can take pictures and even record during the act, promising they'll stay on her phone only solely for when you're not around and she's needy.

streamer!megan who sits you on her lap when she's playing and not streaming, not realizing the way you keep moving around until you're fully grinding against her thigh. her eyes go wide when she does realize, pausing the game to put her hands on your hips to drag you along her thigh, murmuring how dirty you are to act like this while she's playing

[mymelodylvr]

clingy!jj x reader

jj maybank might be the neediest man you’ve ever met.

at first, you were always the one clinging on to him in the relationship. but the second he got attached to you, the switch completely flipped. for the past week, he’d been following you around like a lost puppy - falling asleep holding you like his life depended on it. you’d have to remind him that you weren’t going anywhere (and that he couldn’t hold you that tight because you couldn’t breathe). but in all honesty, it was cute, and you didn’t mind his semi-weird antics all. but the more he latched on to you, like he was scared that you’d leave him, the more worried you got.

it was a typical sunday night for you and jj. john b was out on one adventure or another with sarah, and dragged pope along with him. kie, not wanting to be a third weel, went with them (can you blame her?). luckily for you, this meant you and j could stay at the chateau without anyone bothering you. you two decided on rewatching some saw-type movie that grossed you out, but he liked it, so who cares.

you’re sitting on jogn b.’s old and lumpy couch, constantly squirming to find a comfortable spot. unfortunately, jj was lying on you

“stop moving, I’m trying to watch”

you hardly ever see him like this - so focused. it was on people dying in the most gruesome ways somebody could think of, but it’s still nice to see him calm.

“jayj, you’ve seen this 50 times, I think you can miss a second while I’m trying to get comfortable on this old, stupid sofa” you say, letting out a yawn.

“you’re cranky.”

“I’m not.”

“you so are.” you could fight him on this, but the way he grinned while looking up at you with those perfect eyes? you couldn’t get mad if you tried. so you place a wet kiss to his forehead and start to wriggle free of his arms, to your dismay, he didn’t budge.

“I gotta go to the bathroom” you laugh out.

“so hold it” he grunted, half-paying attention to the movie, and half paying attention to peppering kisses on your stomach. as you giggle, finally freeing yourself from his grasp, you stand up, and instantly- his focus is completely on you. you don’t see him like this often. you knew that he knew that you were just going to the bathroom. at least logically, he had to know that. but those damn puppydog eyes, you couldn’t pull yourself away from them. this led you to saying one of the weirdest things you had said in that relationship that far.

“um - baby?”

“yeah?”

“do you want to come with me?”

it was almost a look of relief that washed over him, leaving you more confused as he held your hips walking to the bathroom.

“jay, why did you want to come in here with me?” a weird thing to say while flushing. “can’t let you out my sight for a second, pretty, someone’ll, grab you” he jokes. but you’re not sure if it’s a joke. “jayj.. you know I’m not going anywhere right? you need to know that.” again, a weird thing to say while in a bathroom. “yeah, I know, obviously, obviously you aren’t” he forces out a laugh, sniffling too much for you too believe him.

for a split second you debate hugging him, having not washed your hands. why were you having this conversation in a bathroom? and for another second it’s quiet. thats when you hug him.

“I am not going anywhere, maybank, you couldn’t get rid of me if you tried.” you say, giggling at the end. you can tell he wants to cry, or say something, but wont let himself. thats’s okay for now - you know it’ll come sooner or later.

after a few seconds of a warm embrace, you hear a laugh.

“it’s pretty gross that you didn’t wash your hands, ma” your jaw drops, letting out a laugh, before slapping him playfully and going to wash your hands.

“you’re so sassy”

“you love it” he replies quickly, as you turn the sink on and grab the soap,

“maybe I do, what are you going to do about it” you say, smirking to yourself, as you finish what you were doing and turn off the water. his hands find your hips, met with a gasp from you.

“don’t wanna finish the movie?”

“nah, apparently I’ve seen it like fifty times anyways”

A/N: I kind of hate this, but it's cute? obviously very cringe, but it's obx fanfiction, it's hard not to be? idk

[ohdeerfully]

Hi,

I was wondering if I could request a story. Alastor x reader although they’re more friends at the beginning. And something thats probably not canon.

The reader is doing research for the hotel trying to find proof that souls can be redeemed. In her search she stumbles across newspaper archives about the Louisiana killer. Knowing that its Alastor she becomes interested and through more digging she discovers that his victims were actually all criminals ie rapists, drug dealers etc. She prints some of the info out (I don’t know why) and then back at the hotel she accidentally drops some of the papers and Alastor sees them. I’m not sure where to go from here, I want Alastor to get a bit angry but reader assures him that his secret is safe with them.

I know its long I’m sooorrry! Let me know what you think.

💙💙

heyyy!! thank u for the request sorry it took literal ages to touch...this short fic contains NO ROMANCE sorry alastor lovers. but i hope you still enjoy!

Silence Your Soul

Alastor x Reader (platonic) TW: nothing specific? alastor is a jerk but whos surprised. hazbin typical crimes

masterlist join my discord!

◈ ══════════ ◈ ══════════ ◈ ══════════ ◈

After Charlie gave you a second chance at her hotel, saving you from the streets in the city of Pride, you were nothing but devoted to her cause. Offering her a hand in trying to prove that the damned can be forgiven and offered a spot in Heaven was the least you could do—although it wasn’t easy.

It was a late evening when you found yourself in an unkempt library at the edge of the city, only tended by a single employee that probably hasn’t seen a soul in weeks. Her excitement upon your arrival made you feel bad, seeing her nearly jump out of her chair as she greeted you made her loneliness awkwardly obvious. You exchanged pleasantries before meandering through the dusty aisles.

You had given yourself a challenge that you weren’t even sure was possible to complete; it seemed more so just busy work to keep you from getting bored at the hotel. Finding proof of redemption for one of Hell’s most prolific Overlords was crazy work, but you assumed if it was possible then virtually any other demon could be forgiven.

Fingers trailed over the spines of historical books and biographies, pursing your lips as you searched the overwhelming amount of titles at your disposal. As rundown as this library was, you would guess it had the inventory of hundreds of ordinary libraries you’d typically find while alive. It didn’t help that you really didn’t have a starting point—you had no clue if you’d even find anything written on Alastor. You only had a vague idea that he was a murderer in Louisiana.

By tedious preservation you eventually managed to find a biography very succinctly titled “Alastor - New Orleans Terror.” You clasped your hands together and raised it to the sky in relief before grabbing the dusty cover and bringing it to the front of the library. After a brief conversation and being asked to sign up for a library card—although more often than not books were never returned—you were on your way back to the hotel.

Charlie had provided you with a little office to do your work in, a small gesture as thanks for your dedication to her idea. You locked your office door and sat down at your desk, pulling a packet of sticky notes and a few pens closer before opening the biography on the resident Radio Demon.

A few hours later, around midnight, you decided to call it for the day with a hefty slam to the book cover. You pushed your chair away from the desk and stretched your arms above your head, bending your back over the head of the chair until a satisfying series of cracks went up your spine. You slumped back down and began to tidy up your area.

The book had a littering of tabs sticking out of the pages, numbered to follow the bullet pointed notes you wrote down on a few sheets of paper. You were pleasantly surprised with what you found out about Alastor, although now you weren’t sure how it would help Charlie’s case in proving all souls can be redeemed. Murder is bad, yes, undoubtedly, but a strong case could be made for Alastor regarding who and why he killed. His reasonings were rather… kind? Somehow? As kind as murder can be.

You tucked the loose pages into the back of the book, holding it firmly to keep all your notes contained. You clicked off your lamp, stood up, pushed your chair back under the desk, and left your office.

Investigators at the scenes of his murders always drew to a similar conclusion—his victims were often rapists, abusers, and two were even politicians with links to trafficking operations. Murder… could be forgiven in this case, right? Of course, Alastor is in Hell for a reason, he’s actually insane and extremely manipulative, but his reasonings for the actual crimes he committed were—

Your thoughts were cut off as you rounded the corner and full body slammed into the man of the hour himself. Shit, how did you not sense his presence? Or, better, how did he not sense yours?

The book in your hand flew almost comically a few paces away, pages scattering out and landing in a messy halo around the book. You took a few stumbling steps backwards, hand pressed against your nose, aching from the impact. Your eyes were blurred with pained tears as you lifted your gaze to Alastor’s smiling expression.

“Hey, shit, I’m sorry,” You said quickly, blinking the haze out of your eyes as you dropped your hand from your face. You began walking towards the book. “I should’ve been paying more attention.”

Alastor was faster, beating you to the mess with his much larger stride. “No worries at all, my dear!” He said all too cheerfully for it being the middle of the night. “Awareness goes both ways after all!”

He hummed as he bent over, swooping up the biography with his name plastered grandly on the front. His shit eating grin somehow doubled as he looked back at you, his long index finger tapping on the cover. 

“A fan?”

“Hardly,” You rolled your eyes, playing a bit coy to counter his confidence. “Just picked it up at the library. Since I work for Charlie I figured I could learn a bit about our more famous residents.” 

Your act didn’t seem to put a damper on his cheer as he briefly thumbed through the biography, but it didn’t take long for him to notice the numbered sticky notes. His red eyes casted towards you before looking down at the similarly numbered sheets of paper by his feet. You sucked in a breath before gritting your teeth. You could probably explain yourself through this if you thought fast enough. 

He knelt and gathered the pages, placing the book down so he could use both hands to shuffle through the papers. You waited, tense, as his eyes scanned your notes. As painfully quiet moments passed, you saw his brows furrow and grin grow tighter.

When he looked back at you, his expression remained calm, but you could tell by the harsher prickling of static on your skin that he was frustrated. 

“While I’m quite pleased to see someone so interested in my living affairs,” He said rather forcefully as he stood, papers still gripped tightly in one hand. “This extensive meddling is rather annoying. What was it they said about… that one curious cat?”

The air grew a bit dangerous with his words as his voice dripped with venomous radio static. You were frozen in place, thoughts flying in every possible direction for words to calm the Overlord.

“H-hey, I’m just working for Charlie, you know, like I said earlier,” Your explanation came in an embarrassing stutter. You figured you may as well just tell the truth, although leaving out the part that you chose to research him. Of course, maybe it would butter him up enough to let you go if you told him how interesting you found him and his previous life; you chose to keep your dignity for now.

“Well, I ask you to leave me out of it,” He responded quickly, and you knew he wasn’t really asking. You nodded feverishly, promising to obey and reaching for the papers in his hand. He tutted before moving his hand away.

“I assume you’ve dedicated quite some time to this research, no?” He mused, waving the stack of pages tantalizingly just out of your reach. You sighed in defeat, hand falling to your side. 

“Yeah, a bit,” You admitted, folding your arms. He laughed for a moment and then you saw a green aura emanate from his palm before a burst of flame consumed the papers. Your mouth twisted into a frown as you watched green-tipped embers of your hard work sizzle into nothing on the red carpet below.

“Well! Then that’s far too much sensitive information on my history, so better it to be gone,” He explained, patting his hands together to rid them of any remaining debris. His eyes then turned to the book, swiftly picking it back up.

“Such a fine piece of literature, really,” He sighed dreamily, theatrically tracing a finger over his own name. It almost made you sneer—what a self-absorbed prick. Then, that same green aura lit in his hand. “Shame it has to go.”

“Wait, wait, wait, that’s not mine, I need to give it back to—” A whoosh of bright flame cut off your pleas, and you groaned in aggravation as shards of the book crumpled by his feet. You watched in helpless defeat as Alastor burned any remaining bridges to his living history. Perhaps that book managed to slip under his nose all these years as he built up his title as an Overlord. Now you had the awkward chore of trying to explain to the librarian why you can’t return her book.

“So…” Shit, that ominous tone in his voice was back as he met your gaze. You couldn’t handle the eye contact, so you swiftly looked to the side, down the hall, in meager hopes that anybody could interrupt this scene and save your sorry ass.

“All that remains, my dear, is you,” He stepped closer, and you similarly stepped backwards. The air in the room suddenly felt too heavy, the lighting too dark. Were you crazy, or were the shadows in the corners stretching towards you?

“I can’t have you running around Hell, whispering my secrets into the ears of the unworthy majority, right? No… that wouldn’t do at all,” Another step forward from him, another back for you. This continued for a few steps before your back hit a wall, sending a freezing chill down your spine. You knew running would only enhance his drive to strike you down, so you remained stuck in place. 

The antlers on his head seemed to expand and grow sharper as he reached a hand towards you. You squeezed your eyes shut and grit your teeth. If anything, you wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of hearing your screams. 

The burn of flames never touched your skin, nor did the sting of tearing flesh. You cracked open your eyes, and saw that his arm hovered only a foot away from you, palm turned upwards. His piercing red eyes bore into your own, never leaving even when you struggled to meet his gaze.

“Unfortunately for me, maybe fortunately for you, Charlie is very fond of you,” He sighed dramatically. “But, still, I can’t have you walking freely around knowing what you know. You are now the last source of my history. So…”

His hand nudged, regaining your attention. You swallowed a lump in your throat, adrenaline still pumping through your entire body and creating an uncomfortable pounding in your head.

“My soul..?” 

Alastor’s eyes rolled before his grin curled maliciously. “Well, obviously, how else will I keep you from opening that mouth of yours?”

Your fingers instinctively reached towards your chest, toying with the fabric of your shirt. Was it really worth it?

“I don’t know how much of an incentive you need here, my dear,” He laughed, although his tone gave away his slight impatience. “You give me your soul and your silence, and I give you… your pitiful life. Hm. Sounds fair to me!” 

You chewed on your cheek. Man, fuck it, you didn’t really want to risk finding out if Charlie’s friendship was truly enough to keep Alastor from killing you. Your hand shot forward before you could give yourself any more time to ponder—or, any more time for Alastor to lose his patience and change his mind. 

As soon as your hand folded around his, a near blinding flash of green light forced your eyes shut as you turned your head away, a squealing and staticy noise filling your ears as you felt a heavy pressure on your neck and a lightness in your chest. In a brief moment, the room fell silent again and Alastor yanked his hand from yours.

You slowly opened your eyes again, timidly looking towards him. You didn’t really have any words at this point, only a sense of loss you couldn’t quite put a finger on.

“There, all settled,” He spoke cheerfully, a complete contradiction of his actions just seconds prior. “Have a goodnight.”

Without another glance, he turned heel and walked away, a light hum playing from his lips. You stood there, staring aimlessly down the hallway and then down at the carpet where blackened ashes of his history stood.

Honestly, right now you were just grateful you weren’t a part of the pile.

[blackheart-6]

dess-ember day 20/31

and congrats to a year of ralsei @glebthepotato 🥳

hi yall

happy 1 year of ralseis to Glebthepotato 🥳🥳🥳

theyve done a fatastic job on their art over the year, and their determination has really paid off!! congratulations again, you deserve it 😊

and to honor this year, i decided to do a little drawing ^^

i need to draw ralsei more, he was my biggest struggle in this piece (maybe i should also draw ralsei for a year... orrr maybe not lol). but other than that, i think its all pretty good!

this was supposed to get done many, many hours ago (its literally 3 am for me O.o), but i had to work for, like, 7 hours today, and then i had familial obligations. so i got barely any time today 😞

ah, its fine! it doesnt matter that much!! i barely work at all next week, so the only thing thatll take up my time is family, so i should be getting into a groove of not posting super late (hopefully)

but thats it for now, congrats again, and bye yall!!

[strwbrychffoncake]

"the most wonderful time of the year,, word count: 1.2k words synopsis: you decide to surprise a certain doctor when your mission wraps up earlier than expected; quality time in the form of decorating takes place contains: lads greyson x reader (not lads mc but reader is a hunter!) ,v fluffy ,maybe ooc greyson (using what little screentime he has + characterization through others) , ,playful teasing/back n forths ,kisses ,hugs ,domestic feel(?) ,soft makeout ,he carries you ,ending might be suggestive (but doesnt have to be interpreted that way lol) ,thats mostly it :x note: (mostly edited! pls bare w me!) this one was simultaneously easy and difficult. the idea was there but w what little screentime greyson had i had to draw up character aspects from thin air sigh... i think it came out well? at some point i tried capturing the "warm, home-y" type feel that something like the holidays seems to bring w it so hopefully its conveyed well?

upon entering his home late in the evening, greyson notices a couple of things.

one, he absolutely did not leave music playing when he left, and certainly not the festive classics who's notes float their way towards the entrance, seemingly coming from the living room.

two, the boxes littering just at the end of the walkway were not there when he left for work this morning.

and three...

the special guest humming along to the music and scurrying around the living area was not expected for another day or so.

he haphazardly shrugs off his coat in realization, speedwalking down the short path towards the destination that would lead to you.

he was eager to hold you in his arms again, unable to stand another moment without you when you were right there.

. . .

upon finishing your two week-long mission earlier than expected, you managed to contain the excitement from telling your boyfriend or stopping by akso hospital (you did have some minor cuts and bruises, but figured it was too little to have greyson fuss over, thinking he likely had more important matters to deal with), instead settling to surprise him at his place when he got off of work.

though, when you got there in the early evening, the lack of decorations and the sight of a bare tree were too much for you to leave alone, deciding to dig around for any decorations you could find, and embellish the place while you waited for him.

. . .

something new you learned about greyson today: he had quite the amount of festive decorations.

you're looking around at the containers of decorations and ornaments you have out, checking to see that you have everything you might need when you're engulfed by a sudden weight.

you startle for a moment, not properly registering who it is before you both are quickly falling towards the ground.

in his excitement (and slight miscalculation of the actual distance between you two), greyson practically crashes into you.

in a split second, you're engulfed in his arms as he twists his body while tugging you, falling on his back with a small oof while cushioning your landing as you plop down right on top of him.

"g-greyson??!"

"sorry! are you alright?"

he's gripping your waist securely, looking up at you, automatically checking over you for any injuries.

you shake your head, hands on his chest, pushing yourself up slightly.

"i'm okay... what about you?? what was that?"

after assuring you're alright, he smiles.

"you didn't tell me you were back already. can you blame me for being a little excited?"

you let out a laugh, crawling off of him before offering a hand to pull you both to your feet, a sheepish smile overtaking your features.

"i wanted to surprise you, hehe... seems like it worked?"

"it definitely surprised me," he cups your face in his hands, and you instinctually nuzzle further into his warm hold.

"i missed you."

his voice is a little quieter, his honesty shooting straight to your heart, eyes shining up at him.

he doesnt let you respond, closing the distance and meeting your lips in a sweet kiss. your arms wind their way around his neck, pulling him impossibly closer to you.

after all, you missed him just as much, if not moreso.

after a minute the need for breath becomes too strong. you break the kiss first, eyes fluttering open, a quiet laugh escaping you as you watch greyson's lips chase yours for a moment before pulling back to look up at him, arms still around his neck. his eyes are bright as he looks back at you, thumbs caressing the sides of your face.

a playful look takes over your gaze before you speak.

"but you know, who knew the doctor greyson had so many christmas decorations?" you tilt your head, exaggerated surprise lacing your tone.

"even more, for someone who seems to like christmas so much, your tree is just depressing! so little time until christmas and the tree is as bare as it was when i left?"

you slip a hand from his neck to poke his cheek.

"for shame, doctor greyson" you finish, pouting playfully and shaking your head lightly.

a deep rumble escapes his chest at your teasing, gaze shining with mirth.

"well, you know how it is at the hospital," he moves in close again suddenly, noses centimeters from touching.

"and what can i say? i missed a certain hunter too much while she was away. how can i bring myself to decorate the tree myself knowing its your favorite part of the holiday?"

he pecks your lips, much shorter than the last before pulling back and booping your nose.

you feel your face warm at his honesty, gaze shyly darting to the side.

"w-well, in that case... would you like to help me?"

a bright smile overtakes his charming features.

"would i?"

-

you and greyson spend the next while sorting through the ornaments in the containers, thinking of a color scheme before deciding which ornaments to place and where.

"this one is too cute! let's put it in the center-"

"doesn't this one look better?"

"doctor greyson, i had no idea you had such a knack for decorating!"

"i'm not so sure id say that..."

playful conversation fills the living room, the music a quiet hum in the background as you both carefully assess and hang each ornament in place.

"oh! i brought some candy canes too, let me go find them~"

you scurry off to the kitchen, swiftly returning with a couple of boxes.

greyson's eyes widen at the treats in your arms.

"darling, i'm not so sure you know what the word 'some' means..."

you playfully gasp.

"well, i made sure to get the ones that you like and the ones that i like. plus, they were on sale!"

"you know I'm not picky..." he shakes his head, "but thank you for thinking of me."

you open the boxes before you respond plainly.

"im always thinking of you."

greyson's cheeks color a pretty shade of pink as he feels his heart skip a beat. he's not even sure if you've realized what you said, working to free the candy cane's from their confines before you hand him his.

what is he going to do with you? he thinks.

. . .

candy cane's in hand, you inspect the tree for a moment.

"do you think they'll all fit...?"

"i'm sure they will- there's still a considerable amount of space. see?" he says, placing one closer to the top.

"pfft, you only say that because you're so tall."

"i can always help you up here, too" he offers.

you ponder for a moment.

"if i can't find anymore space down here, i'll let you know."

he giggles, nodding.

"sure."

(you did end up taking greyson up on his offer, and he gratefully lifted you up to place your remaining candy canes closer to the top of the tree. when he gently placed you back down, you wondered aloud how you would get them down later, to which he replied "you'll just have to ask me, of course!" a little too proudly, but given your sweet tooth, you know he'll have the full-power to deny you of fulfilling your craving when the time comes. you couldnt help but shudder at the thought).

-

in just a couple of minutes, when every ornament and candy cane is hanging in place, you take a step back to admire your masterpiece, pausing before a question bubbles up.

"do you think the candy canes throw off the color scheme?"

greyson backs up to where you are, looking at the tree for a few moments before answering.

"nope. if anything, it gives it even more character, don't you think?" he shoots back, gaze wandering to you.

"yeah, you're right," you look back up at him. "and we did it together," you smile gratefully.

together.

yes, you did this together.

he nods before suddenly closing the distance in one step, engulfing you in a warm hug.

"greyson?"

"can we stay like this for a bit?"

you wrap your arms back around him, returning his loving embrace, breathing in his scent.

"of course."

he was so grateful to have you to spend christmas with, excited to do whatever you wished so long as you were both doing it together.

arms still secure around you, he pulls back enough to take a look at your face. you look up in question, parting your lips to speak before he dives down, silencing any words with the answer of his kiss, both your eyes slipping shut as your lips easily melt into his, returning the love and yearning he's pouring into them.

neither of you keep track of how much time passes like this, christmas tree lights twinkling on your silhouettes as it casts embracing shadows on the wall, festive music a gentle ambiance in the otherwise silence that engulfs the space, hearts laid out for each other in a soft warmth, words unnecessary in the loving gestures that you share.

-

extra.

you place a hand on his chest, pausing him from diving back in as you lift a hand to cover your mouth, letting out a yawn.

greyson's eyes crinkle.

"are you tired?"

"i guess so," you lower your hand. "what time is it?" you reach for your phone, but greyson is quicker, reading the time from his watch.

"its... 11 pm?"

greyson almost laughs at the way your eyes shoot open in surprise.

"what??! i didn't realize how much time had passed..."

"should we get ready for bed then?"

you give a sleepy nod before you're startled again as you feel yourself being lifted up.

"greyson?!??"

he hums in acknowledgement, making his way towards the bedroom.

"what are you-"

"my lovely miss hunter is tired, so im carrying her to bed," he states matter-of-factly. "is that a problem?"

"no its just..."

his gaze is soft at your sudden shyness, pushing the door open with his shoulder.

"you deserve some good rest for all of your hard work," he speaks quieter, placing you gently on the bed. "allow me to spoil you, miss hunter."

and spoil you he did. you think this is the best sleep you've gotten in the almost fourteen days you'd been away from him. how ever did you manage that long without him, you aren't even sure yourself.

-

a/n: had to keep replaying greyson voicelines in my head n read it in the dialogue i looooove his deep voice heheheh dr greyson marry me ? i wanna write for him more he's soooooo cute yet attractive at the same time?? i<3 him i can only hope i did him justice sigh

[nanami-is-nanamean]

I was reading the newest chapter of this cat!gojo fic and like. It made me realize. We dont have a lot of content where NANAMI is the one that turns into a cat. Its more common for him to turn into a dog, because yeah no it makes sense--bro is like a tired family dog if you think abt it, BUT ALSO!! Nanami could make for a really regal and refined cat!! Walk with me here.

So, i did a quick looksee at potential cat breeds and fnejfjefjrk i can just see nanami ending up as a ginger norwegian forest cat. It has his temprament, that european roots that i love for him, AND it makes him so wonderfully fluffy and also kind of lowkey pushes my hairy!nanami agenda eheheheheh >:))

As a cat, nanami could live the most chill and relaxed life hes dreamed of-- napping the day away in the sun and enjoying himself however he pleases with nil repercussions. I can also see gojo just cooing and gushing over him-- you BET that gojos phone gallery storage would jjst be FILLED TO THE BRIM with catnami pics gjsjfjshrk

Theres also a lot of story potential and character exploration here because like--what would nanami do as a cat? If given the life he wished for (kind of), would he really enjoy it? Especially considering the fact that this is the main thing he's been dreaming of since forever. And also, circling back to the what would he do as a cat thing, would he want to turn back into a human? If ever, what would he do as a cat to turn back into a human? Its also just fun to imagine wtf he'd do and everyones reactions to it LMAO

Storywise, this is a pretty easy setup--put nanami into a mission and he gets hit by the curse effect. Give or take he defeats the curse or curse user that did it to him before it takes full effect, rlly depends if you wanna stretch it out or whatever and use the guy for more plot lmao. And then he turns into a cat!

I can see a lot of drama in the two situations of "he insta turns into a cat" and "he vv slowly animorphs into one". For the first one, depending on whether or not he defeats who or whatever it is that did it to him, the amnts of drama and emotion that you could get outta that thang would be crazy--i can see ijichi nervously waiting in the car and its been a touch too long since nanamis been in the curse lair of the thing and hes getting REAL nervous because nanami would be in the car by now or at least texting him that hes facing some troubles and will take longer than usual.

He decides to trust his gut and maybe send out a call to whoever the closest sorcerers are around and LO AND BEHOLD, its gojo on his way to bug nanami about getting dinner with him. So when he hears that nanami might be in a lick of trouble, he figures that he can show up all knight in shining armor-like and heroically save him from whatever curse hes facing him and then ask him on a date as thanks for saving him.

He gets there and huh. Thats a suspiciously large amount of blood everywhere. Huh. Thats nanamis cursed weapon on the floor thats also covered in blood and guts. Huh. Thats also all of nanamis clothes torn asunder and also covered in blood and guts. Huh. Well. This isn’t good. Thank god a weirdly injured and blood covered cat caught his attention before he spiraled too hard over whatever happened to nanami. Very cutesy and fluffy too, with the prettiest hazel eyes hes ever seen on a cat, because none match up to nanamis hazel eyes

[bugcatcherkit]

i’ve been trying to figure out mezato’s Deal for months she’s so insane to me. everyone else has a pretty clear cut reason for why they do what they do. mezato’s just… bored. she has such strong opinions and then no basis for them. my main theory is that part of why she was pushing the psycho helmet thing so hard is because mob saved her from LOL, and she knows he wanted to be popular, so she decides to Make him popular as a strange thank-you. (and even then it’s mostly bc she thinks the only way mob could be popular is as a religious figure, and even then it’s still mostly because she’s bored. i love her)

she does get little difficult to figure out because she doesn't get a lot of screen time or expansion, and. sad world. but thats a good lens to view it from.

I see boredom in mp100 as being reflective of feeling unfulfilled a lot of the time. So her wanting to be part of the ‘most exciting thing in her whole life’ can be seen as her just wanting to be involved in something that feels fulfilling. Girl who thinks a sense of fulfilment and satisfaction cannot come from within herself. Or something like that.

I also read her fascination with Mob's charm as like. At LOL, he was able to stay true to himself (even though he didn't really want to) when she could not. He didn't sugarcoat his reactions or feelings or anything (even though he wanted to). So I think it’s interesting to view her awe of him as partially stemming from that in combo with his powers and all. And in that regard it makes sense why she’d find someone like Tsubomi uninteresting considering Mezato sees her as curating a false image for other people.

[mrmeepsmadmind]

Please i would love to hear all of the headcannons on Soundblaster i beg we need more of this silly guy

PUTTING U IN MY POCKET AND CHERISHING U FOREVER FOR ASKING ME THIS. i LOOOVEEE YAPPPP!!!!!!!

MY SOUNDBLASTER HEADCANONS / GEN THOUGHTS AND STUFF !!!!!! Warning for dark, mature topics like g*re mention / h*micide ‼️‼️. Not rlly explored but mentioned. No s*xual stuff tho. Still tho, disclaimer, he's an awful cold mech ... who tortures u and twerks to stuck in the middle with you while doing it

best way i can describe how i view Soundblaster is an orca born & raised at SeaWorId who ended up accidentally kiIIing a trainer while playing as a baby and was then separated from his mother, pod, home, everything he once knew.. & luckily released as untrainable into the wild,

but he wishes he was kiIIed instead

he yearns for family, deep down, but can't. have one .

he views his old family as weak & miserable, stuck behind glass to perform for others until they die, & he hates them for not at least trying to fight for him when they took him away. The fact that they couldn't do anything but didn't at least Try just to Attempt . . makes it even worse.

at least he is free to swim the entire ocean as his exercise. But his past follows him everywhere. he is excluded from pods for his nature being even too unorthodox for them, his fin forever drooped. other animals naturally fear him. & he misses his mom ( soundwave ), even though he hates her. He hates her because he misses her .

In my headcanon, SB was made to be a bot with No sentimental attachments, specifically to cassettes, created by Shockwave at the order of megatron. He was made with the purpose of being a bot who could send soldiers off to die without a blink. He was made to be ruthless for the decepticon cause, no one else.

Soundwave Hates SB. The mere idea of SB implies there to be a flaw within Soundwave that caused Shockwave, a mech whose intelligence is renowned, to decide such a severe action as cloning was necessary to fix that. Out of the big three decepticons, soundwave is the bot who deals with empathy the most, although that bar is VERYYYY low considering his comparisons are shockwave and starscream (who is a much better contender than shock in the empathy battle, but star is more involved with his self than outward empathy for others at this point in the war ). Soundwave deals with mentality and communication. Despite his monotone, he does feel. He tunes it out for the cause but thats because he values the cause over the value of others' thoughts, he has to, that's his Job. But tuning out his cassettes' thoughts .... it's. That's when it gets difficult. Soundwave values shockwave for his contributions for the cause with his intellectual gifts and curses. Shockwave making Soundblaster is like if your husband made The Perfect Robot Wife right in front of you and expected you to be perfectly fine with it because thats how you've HAD to be your whole life. If it's better for the cause, than it's better for everyone and everything, ultimately. So just do what you're Assigned to do, soundwave, and simply tune it Out.

SB didn't hate soundwave at the beginning.

i think the whole FAILED clone experiment should be more explored in SB. not just as a 'lol look at sb! Soundwave would NEVER do that! That's so funny!!' like that's cute of course but.. we can also go even further to 'oh my Primus. Soundwave would Never go as FAR to do this . 'and soundblaster just grins with his visor and says ' that's why i'm the Upgrade . ' he's the opposite in some extensions, but similar in some, and that's what makes others so wary, and it's not just from similar appearances, bcs i think that's something soundblaster can try to do something about and has

I think of Soundblaster as WaveWave's fucked up child who fucking hates them, can't stop being compared to them, and can't stop missing them no matter how hard he tries. He's discarded and pretends like he doesn't care, but he's so. Empty. No matter how things he forces into his new cassettes, hobbies he switches to, careers, accents, teams, bodies and parts he keeps in his tapedeck, he's just. Empty in the end.

He's programmed to be ultimately unfeeling. Everything he builds is necessary for his own entertainment, and everything he burns down is necessary for his apathetic functioning, while still desperately trying to wring out at least SOME joy out of it, but always ultimately being unable thanks to shockwave.

SB is intelligent, not to shockwave's capabilities, but he tries. He has shockwave's ability to push and abuse boundaries for the sake of expanding his interest in knowledge, and he has soundwave's observations. He collects information and then He capitalizes on it. HE capitalizes. HE is the cause here, though, not decepticons or autobots, shanix, not even to rule something because it might Seem fun at first .. but then that nagging restlessness tugs him again and he needs to make another cruel move simply for the sake of Moving, of thinking he Can feel. If others, populations, companies, markets, etc, just so happen to be lucky enough to momentarily benefit off that or unlucky enough to be tortured from it, then so be it. He doesn't care. And he's not even saying that to seem stronger to everyone because he Doesn't care (look out for, wonder, worry, valuing feelings, etc. He doesn't view anyone as anything but slight distractions to keep his processor jumping instead of just running) for Anyone, No matter how hard he tries, he always ends up abandoning everyone in the end because abandonment is all he knows. Shockwave and soundwave differ only bcs they tie with his creation. Shockwave is akin to Primus to him, only because SB doesn't care for Primus, but he Does find himself pondering Shockwave, HIS creator because Shockwave made HIM, ties to HIM, tethered to HIM. soundwave is similar. SB hates that, he hates being tethered to anything or anybot. It's just not his programming. He needs distractions so he doesn't have to think about his programming being permanent for at least a few seconds, but it always reminds him it's Never leaving in the end, and part of him doesn't want it to because if he doesn't feel nothing then he'll feel Scared, and he can't tell which is worse

Personal attributes

His voice is booming, dominating, and emphatic because he's learned how to mimic the right inflections, personality, pathology, etc to act alive just so he can remind you he's not in the end because it'll make the pain hit harder for you, & that's Much more Fun in his eyes. He can mimic accents fluently, and sometimes just changes them rapid fire for some shake up. He'll go from a cowboy to Italian in a split for no rhyme or reason, he simply Wanted to. When he Speaks, you Listen.

He views jobs as the same throwaway thing, as he views everything. He goes from a mercenary with a band of bots who admire him for his confident callousness until he burns it all to the ground to explore a new avenue, while success sometimes happens to follow bcs people can't help but worship how indifferently strong he is. Mercenary, pirate, black market, thief, torturer, executioner, decepticon brief ally, autobot brief ally, energon disperser, he wants to do it all because he needs to because it's Different and he Needs differences, not to be quirky for others, but to fool himself into thinking that just for one moment.. he could change

But he never does ! He's stuck in a programmed cycle of apathy and he's dragging others down with him to distract him from the constant spiral

Like how skybound soundwave loves sealife and whales, SB loves dolphins. He loved orcas for their color scheme, but then he researched and further fell in love, trying to model himself into something separate from soundwave without even knowing he's still stuck being eerily similar but still eerily different, not enough to be lovingly regaled the same, nor stand out as a bot truly Different and his own.

Orcas and soundblaster are very similar in many ways. Orcas can even mimic humans.

Soundblaster has STRONG mental abilities. Hypnosis is his favorite. Unlike soundwave, he doesn't care who he hurts with it, he revels in it. Until he's bored. Soundblaster loves to lure unsuspecting bots of all factions by using others' voices and their thoughts to fool everyone, like a siren, but unlike a siren, he's not trying to feed on drunken sailors for survival, he just felt like playing that day . He loves displaying graphic images on his visor or any screen, whether that be a victim's loved one dying from footage he's saved of him torturing them, or just showing them some of his favorite g*re footage because he felt like sharing that day, he just thinks it'll be a neat trick for him to do. His screens often display disturbing, uncomfortable images, with horrifying sounds to match as well

However, SB has weaker sound abilities than soundwave, either from improper training, care, or maybe even an inability to fully replicate what the original can do. His speakers are distorted and sometimes slowed or skipping. Dancing queen slowed reverb YouTube song lol. Happy music is usually not as affected by his radio quality, aside from the occasional audial splitting sparks, so he likes listening to that while torturing.

Back to the sound, his soundwave are weaker. At close distances they're stronger, but far away they echo out and surround instead of always focusing. To help him out, he has an orca-like tail that can extend from his spinal strut to help direct the waves better. But hypnosis is just so much more fun.

SB loves earth, he thinks there's just so many opportunities to have some joy before getting bored! Mimicking a mother calling for her child to lure it away for dissection. Mimicking a baby crying for its mother. Mimicking a puppy and displaying footage of a poor puppy trapped in his car with the windows up and the heat outside is excruciating so a good Samaritan can try breaking the window only to be pulled right in. So much fun!!! Sometimes, he'll even steal a singer's skin and pretend to be them so his hypnosis can easily reach bigger crowds with less effort on his part. Think the movie smile with how he invades them and their effects.

I like to think his human skin disguise's fc looks like st chroma. Just for fun.

Soundwave being able to turn others into his new cassettes is something soundblaster loves to do, and most of the time he forgets he even did it. He loves melding machine and man. He has a dog mech instead of a cat mech, with a human face melted on it. A mix of human teeth and fangs. It used to be a - eh, he doesn't remember. Maybe it was a little girl, at one point. He thinks he got the inspiration from an anime he watched. He likes anime.

His tapedeck is fucking abhorrent. He keeps his skinsuits in there. His cassettes strain and shake, but he always hypnotizes them obedient .

He has a mouth, but the mask doesn't cover directly on it. The mouth is where his chin would be, and from a direct angle, can't be seen until he tilts his helm high up and can even snap it back so the face is dangling on the other side. The mouth has various teeth of various kinds (human, monster, mech, alien, etc) inside, and eyes are everywhere, blinking gums, bloodshot cavern, even on the teeth themselves, since his helm is snapped so far behind him. They don't blink, which is why the tongue is so long, helping to coat them with moisture

Unknown if he has an actual face behind his mask or not.

I think he should have a mini friendship / pls don't kill me sb with bee like he did in the Netflix tf bcs bee is someone whose thoughts DO NOT and cannot match his actual actions bcs theyre selfish and kinda rude and bee cannot allow himself to be Imperfect or the autobot cause and optimus's reputation would be ruined. HES supposed to be their shining light, their hope. If their hope is awful, then what does that say about the cause. I think soundwave and bee are very interesting together in general, but that's another talk another day. But yeah, i think bee feels terrible for sb but also is terrified of him, but bee can't just abandon him . Not like everyone else. Bee CANT be like everyone else, he HAS to better. ...don't tell anyone he thinks that tho- he just wants it implied a little- he just has to be perfect not bcs hes secretly selfish and mean but um! U guys just kinda suck! OOPS, UM. HE MEANS. he'll just distract them by being cute or smthing... & meanwhile soundblaster is watching like 'you're mentally ill. ...I Like That. '

This is how soundblaster talks and views bee, LOL. He just keeps him alive bcs hes entertained by his trauma that bee pretends he doesn't have, which makes it all the more entertaining. I just think the dynamic would be rlly funny, not even in a shipping sense, but a I just think they would be funny sense.

Bee: i mean .. i can't help but feel bad for shockwave.. he used to be a senator.. a Good senator.. he was so kind.. empurata- it's really awful.. he looks so different now.. it must have been so painfu-

SB: WOMP WOMP :P !

Bee:

Bumblebee: ...did you just say Womp Womp to Empurata-

LIKE. i think soundblaster is so fucked up and can be even more fucked up if they just explored him more to really distinguish him but also keep that soundwave association haunting him bcs that mech is Never getting rid of it. I think even if he gets damaged and tries getting repairs, his spark turns down any parts that Don't resemble soundwave's, hence why he has skinsuits to slither into to make himself feel like he can finally relieve himself of soundwave's shadow. Hypnosis doesnt work on him, not even his own. All the mirrors are immediately broken wherever he goes. He's an ill cretin who is also very funny to me. He loves to dance and sing while torturing and is very good at it! But he's also. Awful.

He can't feel, but he can feel some sort of peculiar tie to his cassettes, mainly so he can know their location Wherever they go. He likes to purposefully dispatch his army into losing battles with terrible odds so he can feel their cries shudder from within his spark and that low hidden mouth Grins. And if they end up somehow surviving and winning, then he guesses that's good too, or whatever :/

Bumblebee would be the perfect we have to do good straight man to soundblaster with how compassionate he is.. and soundblaster would be perfect in demonstrating bee's desperation to be liked when bee mistakes soundblaster's tolerance of bee being a good distraction for fondness.. like. Tf could do so much more with sb than just a clone.. bee would be a good big character to help get others familiar with SB !!! LIKE! UGH! THERES JUST SO MUCH POTENTIAL WITH SOUNDBLASTER!!!!! but also transformers is trying to appeal to a younger audience to get new tf fans and keep it alive so i don't think we'll get the soundblaster depth i dream of... if we get more of him at all.. but still.. a m&m can Dream ..

if the name Mr. Blonde from reservoir dogs rings any bells, that's who i associate with Soundblaster as well as orcas to help understand his personality better, to conclude my yap !!!

ANYWAYS!!!! THANK YOU FOR LISTENING!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE THIS WEIRD THING SM!!! SILLY GUY!!!! MY EMO WIFE!!!! WE NEED SO MUCH MORE OF THIS SILLY GUYYY URGHHHHHHH!!!!!!! URE SO RIGHT! PLS ANON I LOVE U FOR ASKING ME THIS! SRRY THIS IS SO LONG! I THINK IMIGHTVE FORGOTTEN SOME THINGS BUT YEA HERES MY YAP FOR NOW !!!

[catsconflictscopicsandchamomile]

hey yknow what

uh

you're right there too

I was wrong, I'm sorry. I still stand by what I said originally, but also I should have just scrolled away. if you make a "joke" (?) and I think its stupid thats literally my own business. I also dont know why I decided to be on stupid pills last night, and would prefer to think I'm above this,

uh.

thanks for calling me out. seriously.

Also,oddest,I view sismas and wow really dont like the justification of cheating here.

"For you see, your honor, they gay af"

And then everyone cheered gayly cause that's what Mivienne Vedrano would want.