#but i think i just need to start giving MYSELF the time of day TOO!

[seeliemansi]

You Made Him Worried (Mr. Crawling x Reader)

Synopsis: The last thing you want is to make him worried

a/n: Wrote this while high on antihistamine, will probably rewrite after I got better *hic*

Part of this universe

------------

Mr. Crawling despises it when you get hurt. He tends to be extra clingy, extra needy, and very shaky when it happens.

You have to be careful as you dance around the topic of you getting hurt because he is not playing with your safety.

That's why when you slipped, and the cause was just you being careless as you decided that running towards your apartment to go home is a good decision during a sudden rain, it hit you so bad, you didn't even have time to say ouch out loud. Enough with protecting yourself from getting wet. You were more worried that he will panic and will start a power surge that can cause an electricity loss in your apartment building. You need the heater and can't sleep with how cold it is tonight.

Your white dress is wet and ruined. Your hair is a mess. You are bruised and in pain. And you walk upstairs with a limp. A good way to end the day you supposed.

You remind yourself to be cool. Not to make Mr. Crawling worried. You just want it to not be awkward when you meet him back home, waiting for you at his usual spot.

At least that's the plan.

The moment you stepped inside, all smiles, acting silly, downplaying what happened, you tried your best. You really do.

But when you opened your eyes, and looked at him.

His smile was turned into a frown. And with a shaky voice he asked.

“You, what happened?”

“You. Blood? Wound?”

“Hurt? Hurt?” He continued asking as he grabbed your arm. A wince came out of your mouth not from his hold, but from a cut you never saw due to the dimly lit streets and the mud that clung on your skin.

“No! Mr. Crawling, I am okay. See, not hurt and painful at all.” You grabbed his hand and wrapped it around yours, trying to divert his attention. You bite the inside of your cheeks, pretending that your whole body is not sore from the fall.

“Let's go, Mr. Crawling. I need to change or I will get a cold.” You insisted as you stepped inside and tried to chuckle, trying to dissipate the tension that is slowly building up in the air. When suddenly, he stopped, pulled his hands out of your hold, slowly stood up, and towered over you.

“No!” He screamed, voice deeper than usual. He walked closer, an inch away from you. His breathing is heavy. His hair seems to have a brain of its own as it stood, like Medusa’s snakes. The electricity flickers as he moves.

You gulped, planning to take a step back but you’ve been cornered by a wall. You can only helplessly look up at him. Watching the dark look clouding over his face.

—-----

“You done?” He asked, too chirpy to your liking.

“I will be done soon. Can you let go of my hand for a moment?” You draw circles on his hand that was holding yours as you bathe in the tub. The curtains were drawn, to give you a little privacy. A little uncomfortable but if you fully close it, he will surely sit in the tub and watch you bath instead.

This is the only compromise he agreed to so he will stop standing up and darkening your hallway.

Although you know he wasn't capable of hurting you, you got so scared when he suddenly stood up and towered over you. All you can think about is to make a compromise that he will like, or at least to lessen his worry. It breaks your heart to see him worried.

“Yes. Yes. Towel?” He offered. But when you tried to grab it from his hold, he pulled it so you would let it go.

“No! Me help you.” He insisted.

“But I can do it by myself.” You countered.

“I said no. I will help you.” A shiver ran down your spine when he suddenly was able to form a whole sentence in your language.

“Alright.” You sighed and stepped out of the tub. He is standing up, hands holding the towel wide open. He is grinning and looking thrilled. Who would have blamed him? It is the first time you two are inside the bathroom together. “Come! Come!” He giggles as he wraps it around you.

The way he switches from terrifying to sweet is always a surprise to you. He can be the sweetest but when push comes to shove, the most frightening ghost you have ever seen.

“Here, kiss. Kiss. Kiss.” He spoke as he raised your arm and kissed all the visible cuts and bruises you have on your skin.

You can't help but giggle from the gesture, feeling your heart swell with happiness. You may be sore but you're glad that you took him home.

[luveline]

Hii, Jade 🤍 please bring back singledad!spencer, reader and Amanda 🥹 they r so special

—Spencer experiences your first Spencer-brought-upon baby fever, to his shock. fem, 2k 

(cw: reader is written as enthusiastically wanting kids) 

Spencer’s been reading to Amanda since the moment she could open her eyes. By two months she was cooing in delight whenever he spoke, and that included during story time. He didn’t mind that she didn’t understand, he just loved being with her. He still does. 

So when Amy interrupts your conversation to beg for him to read her something, he gives you an apologetic look, asking, “Do you mind?” 

“Of course I don’t mind.” You wouldn’t, you’re like an angel, leaning back on the couch with little urgency as Amy climbs into Spencer’s lap.

“Thank you. Sorry for interrupting,” Amy says. 

“Gosh, you’re so smart,” Spencer says, tucking a curl of her hair behind her ear. “Interrupting, that’s a big word.” 

“Go ahead,” you say, getting comfortable in front of one of Spencer’s woven cushions. “I’ll listen too, if that’s okay.” 

Spencer opens the storybook to the first page. Amy likes this one. The corners of the pages are soft with use. “Cerys’ Brave Day,” he begins, grinning as Avery pushes herself up his chest to look down at the illustrations. “Cerys wakes up without mommy. Cerys makes her own way out of bed. There is no mommy to wipe her face or brush her hair. My mommy, she thinks, is not there.” 

Amy smiles into Spencer’s cheek. He wraps an arm around her, as if to say, I know, angel, it’s exciting. “Her mommy must be having a slow day. She doesn’t appear to give Cerys any help. And Cerys says–”

“No way!” Amy finishes, pointing at the drawing of a bathroom sink and toothbrush. “I don’t want to brush my teeth by myself!” 

It goes on like that for some time. Spencer notices you getting closer as he goes on, your arm pressing to his side. 

Cerys finds that her mommy is having a slow day. Cerys’ mommy is just as loving as the other mom’s, but sometimes she takes longer to help Cerys brush her hair, and get dressed. Cerys has to be a brave, smart girl, and help her mommy with the small things. Spencer enjoys it, and thought it was a great expression of empathy for Amy to one day understand.

“Later, when mommy feels better, she says I’m sorry for being so slow. Mommy didn’t mean to forget her, she just struggles to get up and go. 

“Cerys doesn't want her to be sorry. She loves helping her mommy out. Because mommy loves Cerys, and Cerys loves mommy, and that’s never been in any doubt.” 

Amy turns her face to Spencer with a huge smile, somehow bigger than when it started. “I love that story,” she says. 

Spencer lets the storybook fall closed in her lap. “It’s a good one, huh?” 

“What do you think, Y/N?” Amy asks. 

You’re delighted by Amy in a way Spencer’s used to seeing in the mirror. “I loved it. Daddy’s a good storyteller, and you’re such a good assistant. You know lots of the big words.” 

She preens. “Thanks.” 

You can’t resist her, pushing against the top of her head with a nice palm. “You’re welcome.” 

“Can we have another one?” she asks. 

Spencer checks the time on his watch. Amy realised it was bedtime before he did, it seems. “Come on, lovely girl. Let’s start getting ready for bed, and you can have any story you want.” 

He’s obviously not expecting you to leave, but at the same time, things are new enough between you that when he asks if you want to sleepover, your grinning “Yes, please,” throws him for a loop. 

You have spare clothes and toiletries in the bedroom. You ask to take a quick shower and get all smiley and shy when he says you never have to ask. 

“So dad,” Amy says. 

“So Amy,” he says, pulling down the blankets on her bed. She has five layers because suddenly November is cold. He wonders if she needs a sixth. 

“I can’t sleep in the big bed tonight.” 

“Well, that depends on how badly you want to.”

“Really?” 

“You’ve known Y/N for a long time, right? She’s been my friend for a long time, before she was my partner. I think she’d be okay with having you sleep in the big bed again if you need to. It was your place before it was her place, and she knows that.” 

“Well…” 

He grabs her under the arms and places her in bed. She could use her stepping stool, but he likes picking her up and putting her down. It makes him feel super paternal. “Just think about it, angel. If you change your mind, you can just come and knock the door. 

“Promise?” 

“Honey.” He kisses her forehead twice, before pulling the blankets up over her, and turning on her mushroom night light. “How’s that? Okay, I promise you can still come knock my door. Cross my heart.” 

“Can you stay for a little?” she asks. 

Spencer sits on her bed by her legs. They feel weirdly small under his hand despite the padding he’s given her. “Babe, are you sure you’re warm enough? This does not feel like enough blankets.” 

“It’s loads. Give me a hug.” 

Spencer lays down in her bed, almost falls off, and covers her with his arm. Their curls tangle together on the pillowcase. 

“Like this?” he asks. 

“Exactly.” 

“Amy, you’re using such big words, you’re so smart.” He’s gonna take her for an assessment at some point. He doesn’t care if she’s super intelligent or not, but lately it’s like she’s so much older than she is. A few days ago she said the word discombobulated. “My smarty-pants.” 

“I like big words,” she says. 

“I love you.” 

“I love you, too.” 

“Remember what Amanda means?” he asks. 

Amy giggles as he shakes her by the tummy. “She who must be loved.” 

“Exactly. Loved by everyone, deserving of love. Always, from the second you were born!” He leans down to kiss her cheek, meeting her eyes as he pulls back. “Okay?” 

She certainly feels loved, he’d wager. He loves her so much it’s like an extra part of his soul in another person. “Story?” she asks. 

“Yes, I did say we’d have one, didn’t I?” He’d almost forgotten. Spencer grabs a couple of her soft backs from the book stand and lets her choose. 

After he’s read a few books and given her a couple of cuddles, Amy begins to list. She presses her nose to his shoulder and mumbles something he doesn’t hear. 

“What did you say, sweetpea?” he mumbles. 

“Just goo’night.” 

“Goodnight. I’ll tuck you in, okay?” 

“Spence?” 

He’d almost forgot you were here. You’re standing in the doorway, arms still damp, pyjama pants stuck to your calves. “Where’s the fire?” he asks. 

“What?” 

“In a rush?” 

“Oh, I just wanted to hear story time. Did I miss it?” 

Spencer kisses Amy again. “I think so. I’m just saying goodnight.” 

You lean against the door. “Goodnight, then, lovely girl.” 

Spencer forces himself up to tuck her in. “Goodnight,” he says again, stroking the hair from her eyes, though they’re closed already. She doesn’t manage to say goodnight back, just touches his arm before he goes. 

You take his hand when he’s close enough. He follows, pressing his face to your shoulder from behind. 

“I like watching you be a dad.” 

“Yeah?” 

“Mm, you’re good at it. It’s… I don’t know, I know Amy isn’t my baby, but I do love her, so it’s never not gonna be nice to watch you, and… I’m worried to say this.” 

“Just say it.” 

“Maybe one day, I…” You catch his eye and give him a panicked smile. 

You climb into bed together. He tries to get you to finish what you’d been saying but doesn’t succeed, no matter how nicely he draws that shape you love into your neck. It’s alright, though. It doesn’t matter. He nearly forgets you’ve brought it up at all until you’re lifting yourself up from your place on his chest. “Spence?” you ask, so close it makes him nervous, his stomach twitching of its own volition. 

“What?” he asks. 

“I know it’s soon. I know we’re not… locked in. I was just thinking about our future and our family, and I’m really happy. And– and if you did want to, I guess I wanna know if… would you ever have more?” 

“More kids?” he asks, dumbfounded. 

Your pupils are massive, staring down at him, giving your eyes this darkness so rare in your gaze. “Have you ever thought about it?” 

“Of course I have, especially with you.” 

You fluster but push through. Your laugh warms his lips as you lean down. “Don’t say that.” 

“Isn’t that what you just said?” 

You kiss him. He lifts his chin too fast to follow you and ends up pushing you away. His cheek is burning in your hand, your index finger to the corner of his eye and so, so tender where it touches an eyelash. “Amy’s so much like you, honey,” you say, tucking a long flyaway strand behind his ear. “And it’s all you.” 

Spencer wonders if you’re perhaps entering the ovulation stage of your period, but forbids himself from asking, should he sound like a freak. But surely you can’t be feeling as strongly as you are about this from story time alone. He’s not that good at telling them. 

“It’s not all me. Amy’s herself, and she’s parts of everyone she’s ever met. I think she’s been a lot braver since she met you,” Spencer says. 

He’s not sure what he said there, but you peer down at him like he’s entirely new. 

“Spencer,” you murmur, drawing a line across his cheek.

“I’d love to have a baby with you, I just thought saying that might be too much too soon.” 

“Well, it is,” you say, sounding insanely pleased, at odds with your words, “that’s so soon. You shouldn’t say stuff like that.” 

He thinks he gets it. Spencer covers your hand where you’re been caressing his cheek and brings it to his mouth, giving your knuckles a kiss. “You’re already so caring, you’ll make an amazing mother.” 

“Not just if we have babies though.” 

“No, I know.” His hand acts for itself as he tucks your hand against his neck. “Amy loves you.”

“She’s brilliant, Spence.” And whatever adoring you’d been ladening on him comes to an end. “Her vocabulary is insane for her age, she really is her father’s daughter.” 

You lay yourself across his chest again for a hug. 

Spencer applauds himself for surviving whatever that was. You, eyes dark and imploring, asking him about babies and touching him like that. “Amy would love a baby sibling,” he says. 

“How many should we have?” 

He laughs loudly. The taboo of everything being too soon is forgotten as you and Spencer talk about babies, houses, what middle school Amy might go to, what daycare you could send your babies to. It’s so exciting it makes his chest pang, thinking about living with you, about marrying you. And your enthusiastic answers make it worse. It’s clear you’ve thought about some of this stuff at depth. 

You could really get married one day, Spencer thinks. There’s a real possibility you might say yes. 

“Do you really think Amy wouldn’t mind a sister?” you whisper. 

“She’s asked me a couple of times how she can get one, so yeah. I think we can safely assume she’d like that.” 

“She asked you that?” you coo. “Aw, lovely girl, what did you tell her?” 

“Well, I told her she came from a pumpkin.” 

“You did?” 

“Mm. It was my fault then when she got very excited at Halloween.” 

You giggle into his neck. “When we have a baby, we’ll buy her a pumpkin.” 

“Or a squash, but I don’t think we could fit a baby in a butternut.” 

You hug him nice and hard. Spencer isn’t sure, but he suspects this is the beginning of a very new, very enjoyable chapter of your lives. Even more so when you nose at his jaw and mumble something about his ‘kissability’. 

[dissapointu]

Hi! I LOVE your work so much, and I can't help myself to request something lol.

I'd like some HCs of Arcane women (your choice) having an otherworldly attractive fem!partner. Like, everyone will snap their heads just to see her walk by.

Flowers, love letters and confessions are always in her way, almost every single day. Oh, I'd LOVE to know how they'll deal with that.

Thanks for reading this lol ♥︎

UGH I love this one!

I’m so glad you love my work! And I’m excited to write these headcanons for you!!

————————————————————————

Jinx

Jinx’s eyes narrow every time someone gawks at you, and she immediately feels a surge of jealousy, her mischievous side taking over. She’s already hyper and protective, so seeing others fawn over you has her buzzing with a mixture of irritation and possessiveness.

“Look at them,” she mutters under her breath as a group of admirers watches you pass. “They think they stand a chance?”

When flowers, love letters, and confessions show up at your doorstep, she snatches them away, grinning with glee as she reads the messages aloud, dramatically mocking them. “Aww, how sweet! But she’s taken, losers!”

She loves your beauty, of course, but she wants it all to herself. The more attention you get, the more playful and clingy she becomes. “I’ll make sure everyone knows you’re mine,” she’ll say, with a wild grin, leaving a trail of chaos in her wake.

Vi

Vi is very used to getting attention herself, but when people start throwing flowers or love letters at you, her protective side flares up. She gives off an air of confidence and can’t help but puff up her chest a little when you walk by, eyes straight ahead. She’s proud of how stunning you are, but she doesn’t like anyone getting too close.

When she catches someone slipping a love letter into your hand, her voice drops an octave. “You’ve got eyes on you, huh?” she’ll smirk, crossing her arms. “Nice try, but she’s mine, you know?”

Vi’s not insecure, but she will keep a close eye on anyone who tries to get too friendly. She might walk hand-in-hand with you more often, or drop a kiss on your cheek in front of anyone gawking. When people stare too much, she might even pull you into a tight hug, making sure the world knows you’re hers.

Sevika

Sevika is not the jealous type, but seeing people shower you with attention definitely gets under her skin. She doesn’t say much at first, but her sharp gaze will quickly scan the crowd when someone dares to get too close.

She watches the flowers pile up at your feet with an eyebrow raised, and her voice will be laced with sarcasm. “I’m sure those people are real special. And you need flowers, huh? Got a whole garden in that pile.”

Sevika will keep her distance at first, but she can’t help but pull you close, her arm around your waist, possessive without being overt about it. “You’re my priority, but you can keep the attention. Just remember who gets to take you home.”

Caitlyn

Caitlyn has a bit of a more graceful, diplomatic way of handling the constant attention you get. She’s more the type to smile knowingly and subtly hold your hand as the crowd stares. She hates the idea of someone thinking they could steal you away, but she trusts you implicitly and prefers to just ignore the admirers.

“Isn’t it charming?” she’ll joke with a laugh as a letter slips into your pocket. “You always attract the strangest people.”

But when someone dares to flirt with you or send you too many gifts, Caitlyn will take matters into her own hands, letting her authoritative side show. “Maybe I’ll write you a letter,” she’ll say, completely confident in her relationship with you. Caitlyn knows she has your heart, but she won’t let others think they have a chance.

Mel Medarda

Mel is always composed, but when she notices people trailing after you with flowers, she lets a smile curl on her lips, though her gaze is cold and calculating. She doesn’t get jealous, per se, but she’s very aware of your allure and the attention it brings.

“How charming,” she’ll murmur, picking up a love letter that was carelessly left behind. “They think they can win your affection with flowers?” She looks at you with amusement. “I suppose you are quite stunning.”

Mel will calmly take your hand, and her voice drops in a low, soothing tone. “Just remember, darling, you’re mine. They can look, but they cannot touch.” She won’t let the admirers faze her—she’ll just deal with them with grace, and maybe a little discreet manipulation.

Ambessa Medarda

Ambessa? She doesn’t get jealous in the traditional sense. However, when she sees others trying to win you over with flowers or letters, a small, amused smile dances on her lips. She doesn’t get upset, because she knows that no one stands a chance, but she has her own way of asserting control.

“You’re clearly a woman of high value,” she’ll say to you, her tone dripping with pride. “But I’d rather keep the prize to myself.”

When the letters pile up, she might casually toss them in the fire, watching them burn with a quiet satisfaction. “It’s only natural that others desire you. But you’re mine to protect—and no one will steal you away from me.”

Ambessa’s attitude is confident, and she has no doubt that you belong to her. She’ll let others admire you from a distance but will always remind you, in her own subtle way, that you’re under her protection.

Maddie Nolen

Maddie might blush when others look at you too much, though she’s careful not to show it. She’s the type to softly smile and shyly brush off the attention you get. However, it does make her a bit flustered when love letters and flowers start piling up, and she can’t help but feel a little possessive of you.

“Should we… start keeping a vase for all these flowers?” she asks with a playful grin, trying to hide her nerves. “You have such a magnetic charm.”

She’ll hold your hand tightly, and when someone tries to hand you a letter, she’ll act as if she hasn’t noticed and gently pull you away, making sure the admirer knows you’re already spoken for.

Though she’s not super aggressive, Maddie will definitely make sure others know that you’re her one and only.

Lest

Lest is cool, calm, and a little distant. But when she sees people falling over themselves for you, there’s a flicker of something possessive in her expression. She’ll never show outright jealousy, but she will make sure the world knows you’re hers in her own subtle way.

“Another admirer?” she’ll ask nonchalantly as you receive a love letter. She doesn’t bat an eyelash but her grip on your hand tightens just slightly. “They should know better.”

Lest will handle the situation with ease, never raising her voice or making a scene. She might give a small smirk when she sees others around you, but ultimately, her quiet confidence assures her that no one can compete with her connection to you. When the flowers get overwhelming, she’ll either casually dismiss them or just take them and quietly keep them for herself—after all, you’re hers.

[cheshiresense]

Starrk time travels with Ichigo to TBTP is everything I never knew I needed! The pain of surviving again, of still being too strong to die- to give up and rest with Shunsui is chef’s kiss beautiful.

I have questions, ideas, thoughts- feel free to ignore any of them lol. First is do you think Hollows/Arrancars have pack instincts/pack bonds. I can imagine the horrible aching emptiness of reaching for friends and family who aren’t there anymore. Pack is forever, should be forever- but now they have to go on looking in the faces of people who loved them once and see nothing in their eyes. No pack bond or instincts that used to link them.

Second is do you think Starrk and Ichigo would eventually start napping together once they settle in a bit more? Starrk might be able to control it now, but I feel like there would be something reassuring about the fact that Ichigo could take it, wouldn’t buckle under the pressure. And then there’s the fact they’re the only ones who know, who understand the weight of it all.

Third is do you have an idea of who you’d ship Ichigo with in this au? I myself am partial to Koyonagi, but I can also see Shinji noticing something off and prowling around like the big cat he pretends he isn’t to investigate. I also imagine that not a few people would assume Starrk and Ichigo are in a relationship lol.

Lastly is I think it would be really interesting if Starrk and Ichigo ended up in the same division, especially since the draw to join the Eighth would be even more tempting. Do you think they’d stick together or try to spread out to be able to investigate/access more.

Thank you, I'm glad you liked it! And I haven't even gotten to the ShunStarrk parts yet but the prospect of it is incentive to write more lmao.

This got a bit long so I'll shove it under the cut:

1) I haven't thought much on this particular aspect of Hollows, although I do see it around a lot, it seems a pretty common headcanon. I def do think they have pack instincts, because even in canon you see Harribel and Grimmjow and others forming "packs" but idk if I'd go all the way to pack bonds. For me it would prob depend on where I want to take that particular fic. In this AU, I imagine Hollows do have pack instincts (again, that's basically canon) and Hollows in general are more sensitive to the reiatsu of pack members, but Starrk's gone so long without them that he's used to the pain of not having anyone. Plus he's like part wolf so I think that makes it worse, but after a thousand years he's probably numb to it. Then of course he got Shunsui for a while, and I imagine he kind of adopted the Fourth as his own and probably a few other Shinigami he'd grown close to, and now all of them are gone. He's in the same situation as Ichigo and grieving that loss, but it prob also feels physically worse for him. He knows what it's like to have pack now, and then he loses them all, and yeah he can sense Shunsui's reiatsu signature halfway across the Seireitei, and half the Fourth is a comfortable bubble at the edge of his awareness, but at the same time, they're not the same and his instincts can tell that too, so it's basically just a constant reminder of everything he no longer has. But he has a thousand years of experience at ignoring this sort of thing, and it's easy to fall back on it, he has to fall back on it because it's not like he can do anything about it anyway. His people, his pack, are gone, and like all the other things he was never able to change over the course of his long life, he can only resign himself to it and shoulder it as best he can.

But Shunsui in particular is a relentless ache in his chest, at the back of his mind, in the pulse of his very reiatsu, like pressure on a bruise on the days he can force himself to ignore it, like a gushing wound when he can't. It's still okay when he's at the Academy and doesn't actually have to see the man. Then Ichigo goes and picks up a stray who just so happens to be Shunsui's family, damn you too Mimihagi may you suffer from carpal tunnel for the rest of eternity, and because his luck has never been what anyone would call good, Starrk's practically expecting it the first time Ichigo awkwardly pesters him into joining their tutoring sessions behind the Eighth Division compound because Ichigo's excellent at Shunpou but he's never quite managed Yoruichi's flawless execution of it, and even before they'd become allies, Starrk's Sonido had been her equivalent, which had seamlessly translated over to Hohou once he'd gained the ability to learn it. Fujiwara's decent enough at it for an Academy student, but still far too slow for Ichigo's liking and also stupidly clumsy and Ichigo can't for the life of him figure out why, so can Starrk please come take a look and see if he can spot the problem or just tell him that there is no problem and all Academy students are just hopeless like this. Starrk wants to say no, but for all that Ichigo gets irritated with his own family for not being able to take no for an answer, the kid himself is actually no better than them, he's just a little more self-conscious about it, but the family resemblance is definitely there beyond just the appearance. Repeatedly refusing would take energy Starrk doesn't have, and he supposes it's nice too to see Ichigo starting to make friends again in this time period, starting to look past his grief. Starrk knows if he really puts his foot down, Ichigo will back off, but he doesn't want to set the kid back in case Ichigo gets the idea to also return to being a perpetual shut-in just because Starrk is, and if that means indulging Ichigo's whims, then so be it. He'd been sent back to serve as babysitter anyway so he may as well do the whole thing properly. And because his luck is just like that, the first time he goes, he finds that Ichigo has already somehow managed to lure his nosy Shiba cousin, his cousin's captain, and the Eighth Division captain Starrk's Shinigami but no he isn't not really not anymore never again to the training grounds even though it's the middle of the afternoon and they should all be at work. At least, judging by the disgruntled expression on Ichigo's face, this hadn't been Ichigo's idea of a good time either. Familiar grey eyes meet his from across the clearing, and for a moment, Starrk is certain someone's ripped his heart out again, leaving only an empty gaping hole in its wake once more, but a thousand times worse than it had ever felt when he'd still been just a Hollow and had never known anything else.

-

2) Honestly Ichigo already spends like 70% of his time in Starrk's room, his own is there just to gather dust and like fake out Kaien cuz the guy either hasn't thought to or at least still has enough manners to refrain from invading Starrk's room too (for now). So like two weeks into the Academy and Ichigo spending five days out of seven crashing on Starrk's floor, Starrk just gives up and goes out to buy an extra futon (and even more pillows because he's a pillow fiend and you can never have too many in his opinion) and Ichigo basically moves in after that. It's definitely comforting for both of them to have the other close by, especially Ichigo because his reikaku abilities are still hit or miss some days. Starrk can relax because his control hasn't been anything less than perfect since his Aizen days but occasionally he still worries about slipping up, except Ichigo is one of the few who can bear the brunt of it so it wouldn't matter even if he does. And Ichigo can relax because he's never really been one for subterfuge, it's actually killing him a little that he can't just bust out his Bankai and either beat Aizen to death or beat some sense into him over the skies of Soul Society like the good old days, but there's nothing he has to hide from Starrk, and Starrk's one of the ones - the only one left now - who's seen Ichigo at his very worst, and likewise it would take a lot of conscious effort on his part to actually hurt Starrk. Lashing out in the midst of a nightmare would wake Starrk but otherwise wouldn't even make him blink.

They can lower their guard around each other in a way they can't anywhere else outside of their room, and with Starrk's habit of carpeting most of the floor with soft things to sleep on, it's only natural to go to sleep next to each other and wake up - in the middle of the night or in the early morning when dawn hasn't even broken yet because it's easier to stare at the ceiling than spend another minute dreaming of faces they'll never truly see again - the same way. Neither of them really moves much when unconscious, and their instincts mark each other as safe, so these days, they sleep best in each other's company.

(This aches too though, sometimes, even though Starrk won't ever voice such a thing out loud. But sleeping with someone else beside him, even when they don't touch beyond an accidental brush of shoulders or a nightmare-fueled flail of a limb digging into his gut, reminds him of another warm body he'd spent close to a decade sleeping beside, half-draped over him or plastered against his back or letting him curl around them in return. It's another thing he'll never have again, but that's hardly Ichigo's fault, and he knows the kid doesn't do well alone either - who in this world does? - so Starrk's hardly going to say anything that would definitely chase Ichigo away because the kid's stupid like that. He locks the sense-memories behind his teeth instead, even when it keeps him up all night or wakes him in the morning just to make him feel like shit all over again when he remembers where and when he is. And it's not always bad. In this era, Ichigo is the only truly familiar thing that doesn't make Starrk's instincts bristle, which means he can sleep more deeply than he would allow himself anywhere else, and that's a comfort in and of itself.)

-

3) This I actually don't know, even in SP I don't really have a ship for Ichigo. But ship candidates are a dime a dozen for him lol. Kisuke's always my go-to for him but I guess he hasn't really been that prominent, although I can def steer things that way. I've written a few KoyoIchi so that's def also a possibility. Shinji is equally likely, and if they could give past!Aizen future!Aizen's memories, I could even pull off AiIchi, although if they could do that, I'd just do the same with Shunsui and then we would have less angst lmao. And it might be weird but I'm not opposed to Ichigo/Asuka but in a platonic neither of us are interested in other ppl and don't want to be bothered by marriage offers so let's just get engaged and it'll even be good for clan politics close friends sort of way. They might develop feelings for each other sometime down the road, but arranged marriage AU would be how it would start (this is actually a wip idea I've had for a long time that I've just never written). Also I just feel like Starrk would be vaguely amused by how they both got attached to Kyourakus (or Kyouraku-adjacent I guess), like what is it about that family 😂 But yeah nothing really concrete yet. Ppl might assume that Starrk and Ichigo are a thing because Ichigo doesn't hang out with anyone else at first, and Starrk basically only leaves school grounds to accompany Ichigo somewhere, but I imagine that would clear up after like thirty minutes of watching them interact, esp once Rangiku and Asuka and Gin are more permanent fixtures in their group and Starrk's just trailing after them like a long-suffering dad, the generational gap would be pretty obvious.

-

4) Oh man I've definitely thought about this. So unlike SP where Ichigo's like It Is My Duty To Go To The Fifth Just To Keep An Eye On Aizen's Shenanigans Even If That Means Self-Inflicted Emotional Torture The Entire Time, Starrk puts a stop to that nonsense in this AU. He doesn't actually care where Ichigo wants to go, Ichigo can take care of himself even if Aizen breaks cover and goes all traitor on them a hundred years early, and he's not here to tell the kid what to do anyway, but when Ichigo's waffling between the Eighth or the Fifth, and it becomes pretty fucking clear that he only wants to go to the Fifth because he thinks he has to, because there's no other way to keep track of Aizen, and he starts getting tunnel vision the way he does when he's brooding and obsessing over protecting people, that's when Starrk steps in.

"It's one thing if you want to go because you want to," Starrk says, watching the kid pace their room like a caged tiger. "But I don't think you do, not with the way you behave around Hirako. Besides, are you even going to be able to get anything done when you'll be constantly stressed out by being so close to Aizen?" He pauses, then adds with a ghost of a smile, "And then there's the fact that you're a really bad liar."

Ichigo swings around to splutter indignantly at him. "I am not! I can lie!"

Starrk shrugs. "Good enough to fool Hirako and Aizen when they'll be right there observing you up close every single day?"

Ichigo opens his mouth, then closes it again. Good, at least he's self-aware.

Starrk lets him think it over for a moment, tracking the conflicted shift of emotions across Ichigo's face - and he wants to play spy in front of the likes of Aizen like this? - before continuing quietly, "This is it, you know."

Ichigo blinks at him, thrown by the non-sequitur.

Starrk sighs and leans back against the windowsill at his back, slanting his gaze to the sky outside, winter-pale but clear. "What we're doing--it isn't a job with an end date. We don't get to go back home once we're done. There's no home to go back to."

In his peripheral, Ichigo is suddenly very still.

"This is it," Starrk repeats without taking his eyes off the distant horizon. "And you gain nothing from focusing all your energy on one man who won't even be showing his hand anytime soon. If anything, finding out you're suspicious of him will only move up his timeline or cause him to do something drastic, and then we might not be able to predict him at all. And that's not even getting into what the Quincy might do if you show your hand too soon, with or without their king. But even that's beside the point."

He turns back to Ichigo, taking in the weary grief in the furrow of his brow and the bitter curve of his mouth, and he knows Ichigo already understands. Still, he finishes as gently as he knows how, "This is where we live now, and maybe it isn't home yet, but maybe it's time to start thinking about what it will take to make it one. How do you want to live, Ichigo? Once everything is over, what kind of life will you have built for yourself by then? Or will you let Aizen dictate that too?"

A minute flinch ripples across Ichigo's shoulders. Starrk presses on, as ruthless as he'd learned from Aizen, from Shunsui even more. "Will you let him hound you all the way to your final grave? Or will you let Yhwach do it again? Your mother died to save you. Your friends died protecting you. Is their love for you only worth yet another suicide run at a bunch of madmen and would-be-gods? Do you think that this was all you were worth to them?"

Ichigo flinches again, and for a split second, his expression scrunches like he wants to take a swing at Starrk.

Starrk waits him out, because Ichigo isn't an idiot, but sometimes, it's like he just can't understand certain things without them being spelled out for him. And some things, Starrk thinks, should be heard, should be said.

He wonders if anyone's ever told this kid that he's allowed to live for himself too.

(He also wonders how much of a hypocrite every word coming out of his mouth right now is going to make him in the future.

But it's different, with Ichigo. Starrk is over a thousand years old. At this point, going to his grave isn't a big deal. But Ichigo hasn't even reached three decades, and he's spent a solid ten of those years on one battlefield or another. If one of them has to die at the end of all this, it definitely shouldn't be Ichigo.

This kid needs to learn how to live. There's no time like the present to start, and if that means Starrk has to hit where it hurts, well, infections must be lanced sooner or later.)

At last, Ichigo's shoulders slump, and he deflates like a balloon, anger and hurt deserting him, leaving only exhaustion in their wake.

"Sometimes, you sound so much like Kyouraku-san it's scary," Ichigo informs him, flopping bonelessly onto a nearby pile of pillows.

Starrk says nothing. If that had been meant to hurt, well, he probably deserves it.

"Aizen does need to be watched," Ichigo persists, but he sounds almost relieved at the possibility that he won't have to be the one to do it.

Starrk grunts dismissively. "I can sense him from here. I know when he's in his office, and when he leaves a double and takes off for Rukongai. I think that's enough for now."

Ichigo's eyebrows shoot up in surprise. "His hypnosis isn't affecting you?"

Starrk tips a glance at him. "The soul remembers. It doesn't affect you either, does it?"

"That's true," Ichigo concedes. "But wait, did he never show you his Shikai? Or you touched his blade somehow?"

"My reiatsu ate it," Starrk summarizes succinctly, then clarifies with a flicker of exasperation at the wide-eyed look he gets, "His hypnosis, not his blade. He never put much effort into hypnotizing the Espada, just enough to make sure we'd obey without too much fuss. And when it comes down to it, even Zanpakutou abilities is just reiatsu cast in a specific shape. It was easy enough to get rid of it after I was whole again."

He thinks of Lilynette and breathes through that particular ache, old now, more scar than open wound, but there all the same.

Ichigo makes a comprehending sound. "That's pretty handy. Can your reiatsu eat it if it's cast on someone else?"

Starrk nods. He'd done as much for Shunsui, and a few others as necessary. Aizen had never been able to affect the Captain-Commander again after he'd been let out of Muken. And for all that they'd been nominally on the same side, Aizen had actually tried a few times. Starrk thinks he'd probably just wanted to see if he could, because after each attempt, he'd turn and look at Starrk with something like amusement and something like contempt.

(Once, he'd remarked in private that Starrk certainly had a preference for kneeling at the feet of Shinigami masters, and he'd asked what made Shunsui the better one to serve, if perhaps he also should've forced Starrk to spread his legs for him, if that would've succeeded in breaking Starrk further, in making him even more eager to please, as much as Shunsui had clearly accomplished with him.

Shunsui had overheard. On hindsight, Starrk's fairly certain Aizen had wanted him to, had waited for him to get close enough to hear everything, though for what purpose even Starrk hadn't been able to figure out, because the resulting confrontation hadn't been pretty. It'd been one of the few times Starrk had seen his Shinigami lose his temper, his wrath a silent deadly creature no one would expect, and in that moment, the shadows around them had almost devoured Aizen whole. They'd certainly left their mark in the aftermath, Aizen's flesh cracked open with scars as black as the void. Even then, Starrk doesn't think Aizen had truly been intimidated, but he'd also never said another word of the sort to Starrk ever again.)

"I'd have to get closer to detect his more intricate workings," Starrk admits. "But I think between that and being able to sense him, it's enough of a safeguard without needing to join the Fifth as well. There isn't much of a point to that anyway. It's not like we don't already have a general idea of what he's doing, or where he's doing it. He isn't the sort to leave evidence lying around either so I doubt you'd be able to gather any."

He glances at Ichigo again, finally letting himself relax when he sees the kid nodding along, albeit with a rather grumpy expression.

"For now," Starrk concludes. "It's best to establish our presence here in this time, make connections, make allies, and eventually make sure we have enough people on our side to tip the scales in our favour. Aizen is one thing, but even the two of us can't take down the entire Wandenreich on our own. When the time comes, there must be people willing to believe us even without concrete proof of the Quincy's existence."

He catches Ichigo's eye, intent to get this point across, if nothing else. "No matter how powerful, there is only so much one can do alone. And you are not alone, Ichigo."

Ichigo's face crumples a little, and for a half a heartbeat, Starrk is terrified he's about to cry. Thankfully, that doesn't happen, and a moment later, Ichigo nods, his eyes a little brighter now, his shoulders a little less weighed down.

"Okay," Ichigo says decisively. "Then… I think I want to go to the Eighth." He smiles a bit wryly. "You're both bastards, but somehow, I like that about you guys. And if it's Kyouraku-san, it wouldn't be hard to work under his command."

He stops and grows more solemn, his gaze a little too sympathetic this time. "Will you join the Eighth too?"

"No," Starrk doesn't hesitate. He's already thought about it, had already made up his mind months ago, even before he'd met Shunsui again. His answer had only cemented further after meeting him. Besides, "I'm going to the Fourth."

He thinks of the agreement he'd hashed out with Mimihagi. He thinks of one of the things that had immediately come to mind when time travel of all things had been proposed to him. He thinks of the things he can do, the things he can create.

He thinks of the life he'd bargained for.

"Back in our time," Starrk only says in the end, meeting Ichigo's gaze calmly. "I was told by everyone who knew her that Unohana-taichou was the best healer in living memory. Now she is alive again, so that's what I want. I want to learn from her."

Ichigo snickers, oblivious. "Well, you are a huge medical nerd so I should've known. So long as you're happy I guess. Try not to take over the division again within the year. I wouldn't bet on your odds against Unohana-san."

Starrk rolls his eyes because honestly Kotetsu had practically gift-wrapped her division for him, he hadn't meant to take over, he hadn't even been a halfway respectable healer at the time, he'd just been strong, with the manpower to support the actual healers, and apparently, that'd been enough. He'd been horrified when Shunsui had sided with them.

Ichigo laughs outright, Starrk shakes his head, and with their choices made, the future begins to take shape once more.

[daretoassume]

Hello , I hope you see this.

I might be a bit desperate.

So 2 years ago I wanted to kill myself but then I had a huge “spiritual awakening” where I say things beyond human comprehension. And from that moment I decided to give life a chance, I knew that life actually had a meaning and that was for me to discover what was beyond what I could think. It gave my so much clarity of the world around me and who I was. From that moment I also started to randomly consciously manifest things without knowing about manifesting. I’m not kidding when I say this but in that time I manifested 6 million overnight while I was just kidding about being a millionaire while listening to my rich music and then when I woke up my parents had the good news. I also manifested others things that I thought where extremely special. But I didn’t really put in effort it was just fun experimenting with my powers.

So then I decided to deepen myself in the laws. I started with law of attraction. And I ended up meditating so deeply everyday that I was so passionate about finding the ultimate truth of reality inside me, that I was extremely depersonalised from my 3D and basically lived inside my brain. I could ask things and receive answers on my questions, like the one time i asked how to invent something that could end humanity ( I still have a full doc on how to build to most effective machine that could end humanity in less than second) I also got the answer of questions about reality and my vessel. So that’s when I realised there was nothing but me. And that I was experiencing myself from the experience of myself ( if that makes sense!) I found that there really was nothing and everything at once while I was giving meaning to it. So that’s when I started with extreme anxiety and depression because I struggled so much with intrusive thoughts, not being able to ground myself in this reality and being so so scared of my thoughts. Still to this day my thoughts scare me so much that I can’t help but experience anything other than fear from myself. It’s like I’m living in a constant nightmare. I have watched so much law of assumption post and videos dedicating every second of my day on being focused and disciplined to affirming and being in the state of having what I want, but it makes me so fuckiyn angry and I don’t know why. Everytime I see a post I feel depressed because deep down I know everything but everyday I wake up in the same reality where everything fucking sucks ( I have been forcing myself to be kind self love gratitude letting go void state visualisation whatever exist I’ve done it all) and when I finally have build up that trust that everything is working out in my highest favour and I always get what I want and the 3D can’t tell me nothing yk I can delude myself into knowing I have it but it’s been over a year and I just can’t bear this reality anymore I know I’m meant for another reality and there’s just nothing for me to find here anymore. And I really don’t know what to do anymore I feel like I’m stuck in this reality where everything seems to get worse. And my thoughts are also getting worded everyday for the last year but whenever I tried manifesting a better self concept mindset etc it got worse when i don’t even want to be the person that is in conflict with themsef because that’s just a idiotic thing to do. But can you help me out?🫶

what you experienced, everything that you learned, was so profound. it is truly a gift to have such insight, so treat it as such. try to examine why it scares you so deeply. there is something within that fear that is asking to be understood.

you have seen how effortlessly you created before, simply by being playful and detached. you were experimenting, having fun with it, and not placing too much importance on the outcome. that is why there was no resistance. things flowed into your reality flawlessly. you already understand the law. you know how to apply it to your life. you do not need another blog post or video to teach you what you already know.

what you need now is to go deeper within yourself, to truly understand why you feel this way. these feelings are not here to torment you but to guide you toward something deeper. perhaps there is a message waiting for you, something significant you need to uncover, or even a realization that you are meant to share with others. your emotions, no matter how overwhelming, are part of your journey. they may be pointing you toward a greater understanding of yourself and your purpose.

if you feel an inner pull to create something meaningful, to express yourself, or to pursue something that sparks joy, do not ignore it. act on it. even if it feels small or insignificant at first, do it. follow what excites you, even in the simplest of ways.

i know it’s easier said than done, especially when it feels like the weight of the world is on your shoulders. but remember, we both know the truth—what we focus on expands. even a small shift in focus toward what you prefer can create change. we often feel so much these days that we forget to acknowledge what we can be grateful for. take a moment and ask yourself: what are you truly grateful for right now? your family, your friends? doesn’t it bring you some happiness to know you’ve learned so much already? i am not saying you are ungrateful. i am suggesting that maybe starting with gratitude, even in the smallest way, could help shift your attention, even just a little.

as you take time for introspection to truly understand what is behind these emotions and why you feel the way you do, you might also set some goals for yourself. try doing something that excites you, even if it’s small. i know this reality can feel limiting, and maybe that’s why you feel like you don’t belong here. but if you see it as a curse, then that’s the experience you will live out.

what if you see it as an opportunity to discover something profound within yourself? what if the very limitations you feel are only reflections of the state you’re currently in, waiting for you to shift?

you don't have to force yourself to change everything all at once. just start small, day by day.

you already know how powerful you are.

[alexanderwales]

Notes on 3000 miles

Last year my doctor told me that I had high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and a high resting heartrate. So I started biking on an exercise bike, and by my best estimations, I'm either close to hitting 3000 miles or have already gone past that.

I should clarify that this wasn't all at once. I took many breaks.

So here are some notes.

When I started, I was on an exercise bike that my wife had gotten from her work. It wasn't the best, but it was free, and I made a deal with myself that if I biked every day for a month, then I could justify getting something better. I really really did not want to buy a piece of exercise equipment that would just sit in the house gathering dust, because that would feel awful ... but I do kind of wish that I had gotten the better bike sooner, because it removed some of the "friction" of exercise, where it felt like there were too many reasons not to get on the bike. The new exercise bike (a refurbished Peleton off Facebook marketplace that my wife got me for Christmas) really does just feel and move better. I think the general principle of not doing costly monetary commitments until you've shown costly personal commitment is a good one, however.

Blood pressure is in normal range. Cholesterol is in normal range. Resting heartrate is in normal range. This was all the case three months in, and this level of cardio is more than enough to maintain it.

Right now, I bike for thirty minutes a day, going 8-10 miles according to the bike. That range is enormous, because it represents vastly different amounts of work. Going 10 miles in 30 minutes is 20 miles an hour, and I keep the resistance relatively high, so by the end of it I'm always panting. By contrast, going 8 miles makes me feel like I didn't put in enough work.

My goal every day is sweat-based and completely qualitative. I want to soak through a shirt. This means that doing more laundry than I'd prefer to, which is an unanticipated consequence of the biking. It's also, compared to all the metrics the bike gives me, a very clear sign that I am actually exercising my body "properly" in a way that's achieving something.

I did some of the Peleton classes, and found a lot of the metrics to be motivating, but ... eh. Exercise is mostly about being healthy and maintaining my body, so my current strategy, for the last six months, has been to either shut the brain down or keep it fully engaged in something that passes the exercise time. Usually this means a TV show, especially a foreign one with subtitles, which need slightly more brainpower.

The final two minutes is always the worst. I'm just ready to be done with it. Sometimes there's gas left in the tank, but I still feel sweaty, thirsty, and overheated. I have a water bottle, and I drink from it while I bike, and I have a fan pointed at me that I turn on once I'm warmed up, but I always have a sense, in those last two minutes, of "finally I'm done". I tried the thinking man's solution, only biking for 28 minutes, and this did not help. In my entire year of biking a half hour a day, I didn't ever elect to go into overtime.

I initially lost ten pounds, then slowly gained it back. I am, in fact, overweight, but I'm holding more or less steady now, and there have definitely been some body composition changes, with muscle replacing fat. I went down about four inches at the waist. I've changed very little about how I eat (which is 90% meals that I cook myself, and a daily coffee drink of some kind, usually made myself with sugar/cream/chocolate). Biking amounts to 300-400 calories a day or something like that, so I'm presumably eating more to compensate and just not realizing it.

Mental health has been rocky, but that's just sort of how it is for me. I definitely feel less mentally well on days that I don't bike, and feel better afterward, but I have no idea how tight the correlation is, and if I had been keeping track on a mood tracker, I'm not sure I would be able to sus out from self-reported mood alone whether or not I was biking.

During the summer I replaced a lot of indoor exercise bike stuff with outdoor biking. My son has only recently learned to bike, so he's been with me many of these times. Usually that means that we're either biking a lot less distance, or we're biking for a lot longer time at much lower intensity, sometimes both. There's a bike path that's downhill from our house which goes for maybe six miles, with some good, clear turn back points, but that means a fairly arduous uphill to get back home. If I lived in a place where the weather wasn't frigid for almost half the year, I would probably be doing outdoor biking more.

I think the most important thing, if you're doing exercise every day, is making sure that you're doing it in such a way that it's sustainable and virtually incapable of injuring you. This mostly means proper form. Early on, I had a habit of pressing down the right pedal with the outside edge of my foot, and after fifteen minutes of doing that, the muscles in the foot would be aching and uncomfortable. I'm not sure why I was doing that, but it was difficult to get myself to bike in a way that wouldn't be putting strain on me.

I think it's okay to skip a day ... if it's for the right reason. Of the days that I've skipped, I always try to make sure the reason isn't "fuck it, I don't want to". I should either be feeling sick, feeling like I need to rest, or replacing biking with some other form of exercise like a hike in the woods or some weightlifting or something. If I start skipping days because I just don't feel like it, that's where the whole scheme falls apart.

I am currently sort of wondering how long this is going to go on for, and I think the answer is "for the rest of my life", or at least until I'm unable to keep it up for whatever reason. I don't think there's any particular reason to prefer an exercise bike (or regular bike) over running or rowing or some other form of cardio, but I think I have proven to myself that this is cardio I can do daily and stick with it to the level that is probably necessary for me to stay healthy. I'm not committed to doing it for the rest of my life, since in theory some other form of cardio might come along and sweep me off my feet.

I do wish that I had started earlier in my life, even if daily exercise has not been the panacea for mental health that I had been kind of hoping it would be. I hope that I have the willpower and wisdom to keep up with it indefinitely.

[otomehoneyybearr]

Kagari Amagase

Things I can Only Do With You at Night: Ch1 | Ch2 | Ch3 | Ch4 | Card

A few days later—I found myself running around town alongside Prince Kagari.

Emma: "Good work out there! I’ve placed the signs and flyers in the designated locations!"

Kagari: "I’ve picked up the supplies. I’ll leave them here."

The corner of an inn serving as the festival’s operations headquarters was overflowing with packages.

A staff member at the counter poked his head out, bowing repeatedly as he rushed over.

Man: "Thank you so much! You’ve been a great help."

Man: "I must admit, I was startled when Prince Kagari arrived, but having extra hands is always welcome."

Man: "Still, Miss Emma, you’re a visitor from another country. Are you sure you’re okay with this?"

Emma: "Yes! In fact, helping out is a great way to learn more about the town, so it’s a win-win for me."

Kagari: "You seem like the type who gets taken advantage of easily."

Emma: "…Are you really one to talk, Prince Kagari?"

●●●●●● Flashback ●●●●●●

Kagari: "Among all the regions in Kogyoku, my territory is relatively the safest. It even attracts a fair number of tourists."

Kagari: "Even if this festival is small in scale, it has more liveliness and entertainment than festivals in other territories." Kagari: “Which is why—you’re going to help with the festival preparations, Princess."

●●●●●● Flashback End ●●●●●●

Emma: "If you’re going to say that, then I’ll demand five dorayaki as payment instead of just one!"

Kagari: "...? Who said anything about one? I was planning to give you twenty."

Emma: "That’s way too many for me to eat!"

Kagari: "Then I’ll help you eat them. Problem solved, right? No leftovers to worry about."

Emma "But it’s supposed to be MY reward. Isn’t this just benefiting you, Prince Kagari?"

Man: "Haha, you two get along well. Still, I’m surprised Prince Kagari has a girlfriend!"

(Ah… there it is again…)

I’d already heard that comment dozens of times since arriving in town, but I still wasn’t used to it.

Emma: "Um, no, we’re not a couple."

Man: "Really? Then are you long-lost siblings? Or newlyweds, maybe…?"

Kagari: "None of the above."

Man: "I see… It’s just unusual to see Prince Kagari with a woman, so everyone was talking about it…"

From the corner of my eye, I saw Prince Kagari sigh quietly, looking slightly annoyed but still expressionless.

Kagari: "It’s always the same kind of talk wherever we go. It’s starting to feel tedious correcting them."

Kagari: "Maybe it’d be easier if I just made it true."

Emma: "Th-that’s obviously not an option!"

Kagari: "Relax, it’s a joke. Don’t take it so seriously. Your face is red."

(He’s teasing me!)

Kagari: "Still, even if I correct them, people might assume you’re my favorite which might actually be more convenient that way."

Emma: "Huh?"

Kagari: "Let’s go, Princess. We still have work to do."

Emma: "Oh, right."

(He brushed past that like it was nothing, but what does he mean by ‘favorite’…?)

(And why is he okay with the townspeople thinking I’m this…?)

Even if it didn’t matter to him, the thought left me feeling awkward and self-conscious. I’d need to steel myself every time I walked through the town from now on.

(Come to think of it, why did Prince Kagari ask me to help with the festival preparations?)

(From the conversation with the kids earlier, it didn’t seem like they were short on people…)

As I mulled it over, I walked toward a pile of wooden crates and checked a sheet of paper nearby.

(Next, we’re supposed to deliver these supplies to the sweets shop… Oh.)

As I reached for one of the crates, a hand appeared beside me and effortlessly lifted the crate away.

The crate should have been filled with heavy items like flour and fruit, yet Prince Kagari’s expression remained composed.

Kagari: "Your job is to guide me to the sweets shop, Princess."

Kagari: "You’ve been running around all morning, so you should know the way by now."

Emma: "Understood. Um, thank you."

The sudden subtle kindness made my heart skip a beat.

At the same time, I couldn’t ignore the stares from the people busy with the festival preparations.

(…It really feels like everyone’s convinced I’m Prince Kagari’s ‘favorite.’)

The destination for the delivery was the shop owned by the family of the boy I had met at the dojo.

Boy: "Miss, you were so excited about the festival, but you didn’t get invited by Teacher, huh?"

Emma: "I never wanted him to invite me, nor did I want to go with him, you know."

Boy: "…Oh, yeah, I guess you’re right."

While I waited outside for Prince Kagari and the shop owner to finish their conversation, the boy gave me a look of pity.

I swallowed the faint frustration I felt.

Boy: "Oh!"

As if suddenly remembering something, the boy dashed inside the shop and quickly returned.

He handed me a long, slender wooden box.

Boy: "Here, take this. These sakura sparklers are sold a lot during festivals here in Kogyoku."

Boy: "They might not seem like much to us, but they could be something unique for someone from another country."

Emma: "Wow, how pretty! Thank you!"

When I opened the lid of the box, I found several delicate, pink-colored sparklers inside.

(I’d heard about these from the owner, but this is my first time seeing them.)

The tips of the thinly twisted paper were filled with gunpowder, and each handle was adorned with a single sakura flower.

Boy: "Oh, by the way, did you know?"

Boy: "There’s a legend in Kogyoku that—"

.....

(A legend in Kogyoku.... I wonder what is was?)

Just as he was about to explain, Prince Kagari stepped out of the shop, and I didn’t get to hear the rest.

On the day of the festival, the town was bustling with excitement.

Lanterns adorned with sakura patterns and rows food stalls lined the streets, filling the town with vibrant colors and happy faces.

Carefully navigating through the crowd, I wandered from stall to stall, soaking in the atmosphere of the Kogyoku festival.

Stall Owner: "Here you go. One extra skewer of dango, on the house!"

Stall Owner: "Is Prince Kagari not with you?"

Emma: "No, I haven’t seen him today."

(I thought I might have the chance to bump into him, but finding him in this crowd seems impossible.)

(Actually, knowing how busy he is, he might not even be here.)

Suppressing the inexplicable sigh welling up inside me, I thanked the stall owner.

Stall Owner: "Miss Emma, here’s another skewer, on the house! Eat up and enjoy the festival to your heart’s content!"

Emma: "Thank you so much! I’ll enjoy it!"

(This feels more like a consolation gift.)

I accepted the dango, feeling both happy and slightly apologetic, and slipped away from the stall.

.....

Finding a quiet back alley to avoid the crowd, I began savoring the food I’d bought at the stalls when—

Kagari: "You’re eating that with real enthusiasm, Princess."

Emma: "gulp… Cough…! Pr-Prince Kagari!?"

I looked up in shock as Prince Kagari suddenly descended from the rooftop without a sound.

I should’ve been happy to see him, but his sudden, stealthy arrival startled me so much I nearly choked.

(He’s a prince, but he moves like a spy.)

Before I could recover, he casually grabbed my arm and took a bite of the skewer of colorful, sweet bean-paste-topped dango I was holding.

Emma: "Don’t steal bites of my food!"

Kagari: "You’re the one who made it look so delicious. You’d make an excellent food advertiser."

Kagari: "Here, finish the last bite before it gets cold."

Kagari: "Or would you prefer me to feed you?"

Emma: "I can manage, thank you."

(…From the way he’s acting, he probably doesn’t even think twice about this kind of thing.)

I glanced at the now slightly nibbled dango, steeling myself to eat the last bite.

The heat rising in my cheeks made it hard to focus on the flavor.

Kagari: "Are you enjoying the festival?"

Emma: "Yes! The sakura-themed food and decorations are adorable, and the unfamiliar music makes it more exciting!"

Emma: "Also, the shopkeepers were incredibly kind and gave me more than I could ever eat."

Kagari: "The people in this territory are naturally friendly and generous. They’re the type who thrive on camaraderie."

Kagari: "Looks like you’ve been well-received, Princess."

Emma: "That makes me happy to know that."

Prince Kagari’s eyes softened slightly with satisfaction as he reached into his pocket.

Kagari: "Here, take this."

Emma: "Huh?—Mmph!"

Without warning, Prince Kagari gently cupped my chin, prying my mouth open with his thumb before tossing something inside.

(Huh…? Candy? Wait, this flavor…)

Kagari: "It’s a dorayaki-flavored candy. I had it specially commissioned and supervised its production myself."

Emma: "Your passion for dorayaki is truly impressive."

Emma: "The flavor is spot-on. If it were a product, I’d definitely buy it."

Kagari: "It’ll be on sale at the confectionery shop starting tomorrow. Make sure to support it."

As the candy melted on my tongue, the taste of dorayaki spread in my mouth, creating a strange yet delightful sensation.

(I should stop by and buy some tomorrow.)

(I knew Prince Kagari loved dorayaki, but to go so far as to create a candy… I underestimated him.)

(He’s the type to pour himself entirely into the things he loves.)

Emma: "Wait… Prince Kagari?"

When I looked up, Kagari had vanished without a trace.

The lingering taste of the candy reassured me that the events just now were real, even though his sudden departure left a strange sense of emptiness.

(I guess he was on duty after all.)

(Maybe he called out to me because he happened to see me…)

(If so, I’d be happy...though that’s probably not it.)

Shaking off my hopeful thoughts, I felt a small pang of loneliness as the candy melted away.

(...It’s so quiet now.)

Prev | Next

▼・ᴥ・▼

[charcubed]

"Did you love medical school?" Avery asks Max.

"Medical school is the greatest longest hardest thing you're ever going to do," Max says, not answering the question, as he is already fucking famous for doing to get out of talking about himself.

(But this is not a post about Max. This time.)

The use of the word love here and the subtle framing of medical school as a relationship... Well.

My theory for Avery since the start has been that part of her arc is going to be growing to understand herself and realizing that becoming a doctor is not synonymous with fulfillment.

In episode 2, we got her saying,

"I've given up everything good. Everything that matters. Relationships, family. All for this job. And at the end of the day… I'm alone. Adrift. With nothing to show for it. I'm never going to be a doctor. This is all there is for me."

(This follows a pattern of a thing this show does with dialogue where characters say things that are more revealing to us as the audience than the characters themselves are conscious of, but that's a point for another post.)

Her bucket list included,

"I want to know myself."

because she doesn't know herself yet.

And now we got,

“I always thought that if I became a doctor things would start to make sense.”

I think Avery wants far more than just being a doctor... or, to be fully honest with you, I think they're conceivably going to go the route where she decides she doesn’t need to be a doctor because she’s found fulfillment in her life and work (and love!) in other ways anyway. I’m not talking “Rachel gives her life up for Ross” type of bullshit with two men instead of one, but rather tied into the explicit arc of how Avery wants to know and understand herself because she doesn't currently, and the "you're never alone" theme. That's part of what this pregnancy and future abortion plotline is setting up anyway: it's a brute force tool for self-reflection for her.

Does Avery really want to be a doctor, especially at the expense of all other parts of her desires? Or has that just always been The Plan and is she unconsciously thinking that earning that title will fix the holes she feels in herself and in her life?

If you think this sounds tricky to pull off as a story, you'd be correct – but hey, so is polyamory, and yet they're doing that. They’d have to write Avery's arc well enough that it doesn’t come across as reductive, but I really think they could land it because of the character setup they seem to be doing for her – and I've thought that for several weeks already. This week just has me locking in on that possibility more.

Now, going off the rails here from meta to straight up crack theorizing even though it's way too early to be predicting shit...

Weeks ago I was already wondering… what if the season ends with Avery going to leave to become a doctor and the guys decide to follow her? Maybe even in a big dramatic traditional “they run off the ship / to the airport” sort of romantic scene sort of way lmaaaooo. And as the boys abandon ship to follow her, at the same time, SHE turns around to go back to them without knowing they were following her! Idk. Who knows! Not me. Like I said, way too early to know anything.

Regardless though, the Hot Take™️? I would not at all be surprised if Avery changes her mind about wanting to become a doctor. And I think it could, if done correctly, be a weirdly bold move (in a show that's already planning to pull off A Big Bold Move).

[missvelvetsstuff]

The Situation Room

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: After a mission almost gone wrong, Tony brings back Bucky's former assistant, who is also Bucky's ex. Can they work together without hurting each other? Will the whole truth about their break up finally come out?

Chapter 10

Warnings: Swearing and angst

Notes: WooHoo! An update. I've been writing a sentence or two a day waiting for my muse and she stopped by yesterday to help write this chapter.

It's shorter than I prefer but its an update. Sorry for the cliffhanger and the reality that idk when I'll be able to update again with everything going on.

Life is still kicking my ass and I was sick af all weekend but am slowly improving. We officially move in with mom in law this weekend to take care of her with home hospice. Between that, broken cars and the holidays I'm frazzled and exhausted.

I hope it doesn't suck.

Radar was woken up by Bucky's snoring and her full bladder. As she became more aware she saw the room was just starting to lighten up and realized the team would be waking soon.

She then realized she was tangled up with Bucky and laid thinking for a few minutes, trying to work out how to extricate herself without waking him. When she picked up her head she felt a knot in her neck from the position she had fallen asleep in, which triggered muscle spasms in her back.

A soft, pained moan escaped and Bucky was awake, mumbling "hhmmm, wus up?" He cleared his throat "Y/N? Are you ok?"

Radar tried to nod but the movement made things worse "ugh, sure. Just slept wrong. Need to stretch."

Bucky rubbed her arm "Ok. Let me help. We'll go slow." He moved carefully to untangle them without hurting her too much.

Once he was done she stood and stretched out as he dozed off again. She stared at him for a moment and smiled softly, feeling hopeful for the first time in years, before heading to her room for a shower and to get her day started.

Once she was clean and dressed, Radar was checking her emails and schedule for the day when there was a knock at her door. It was an agent that she didn't recognize.

"Can I help you?"

The agent smiled "I'm Megan, work in the dispensary. Dr Raynor was concerned after your session yesterday and wanted me to give you something to help you relax. She called it in last nite but we were all gone for the day."

Radar looked confused "I thought the dispensary was always manned, in case of emergency."

A quick look of fear flashed in Megan's eyes and she giggled nervously "Uh well yeah usually but the tech that was scheduled was sick and I was gone so they couldn't get anyone. Luckily we didn't have any emergencies."

She quickly changed the subject and held out a prescription bottle "Anyways, this should help the anxiety. Directions are on the bottle."

Radar looked at the bottle warily "No thanks, I don't need to be drugged up when I'm working."

Megan shook the bottle "Well, save it for at night. To help you sleep."

Radar shook her head "Thanks but no. Tell Raynor I'm good."

Megan quickly looked around the hall and sighed before pushing her way into Radar's room and closing the door behind her. "Jesus you're difficult, I see why Walker liked to drug you, I think I'm going to enjoy it myself."

Radar tried to push Megan away but her sore back restricted her movement and she felt a pinch in her neck before everything went black.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bucky was startled awake by someone working in the kitchen. He sat up, looked around, saw Sam starting on breakfast and groaned.

Sam chuckled "You alright over there, Sleeping Beauty?"

Bucky shook his head to clear it and mumbled "Yeah, I'm-"

He stopped mid thought and looked around "Have you seen Radar? We both fell asleep on the couch."

Sam shook his head "I've been up almost an hour, haven't seen anyone but you."

Bucky heard talking down the hall before Nat and Wanda came into the kitchen to offer Sam some help. They all worked on breakfast while Bucky stared before asking "Have you guys seen Radar?"

Nat shook her head "Not today. You kids have another blow up?"

He shook his head "No, actually we talked and fell asleep in here. I remember her getting up but fell back asleep hoping she'd come back. I thought we made some progress." He sighed sadly "Guess I was wrong."

Sam tsk'ed at him "Don't go negative right away. Maybe she had some work to do. Sometimes Fury likes to throw small assignments at the Angels, you know that. She might have had an email or something. Don't jump to any conclusions" he pointed at Bucky "You should know better."

Bucky took a deep breath "Right, don't assume. I'm going to see if I can find her." He stood up and stalked out of the room.

Wanda, Nat and Sam looked at each other and Wanda shrugged "Maybe they actually started on their way back to each other?"

Sam smirked and Nat smiled softly "We can only hope."

Bucky checked the Situation Room and Radar's office with no luck and could feel himself starting to panic so was practically running to get to her room. When he arrived he noticed her door wasn't fully closed which grew the knot in his stomach.

He swore softly as he carefully entered her room. "Radar? Doll are you in here?"

The lack of any response pushed him towards a panic attack before he realized he wasn't using one of the best assets in the compound "Friday? Can you tell me where Radar is?"

"I'd be happy to help, Sargent Barnes, but Lieutenant Radar is not in the compound."

Bucky felt his heart drop "Not here? Did she have work to do offsite? When did she leave?"

"I'm not aware of any assignments she has been given that would require her to leave the premises. She left at 5:48 this morning with one of the dispensary technicians."

Bucky started pacing the room, trying to think. "Why would she do that? Did she leave any kind of note? Maybe something in her logs about it?"

"There isn't anything in her log but she left a message for you. Would you like to see it?"

Bucky grumbled "You could have started with that. Yes, please I'd like to see it."

Friday posted a text message on his phone:

Bucky, I'm so sorry but I can't do this. It's all too much so I'm going back to my work in Madripoor. I wish you all the best but please don't come looking for me. Love, Radar.

Bucky growled "No, she wouldn't just run away like that. Does Fury know? She couldn't just reassign herself. She wouldn't."

Friday sounded sympathetic "I'm sorry, I can't find anything in my system but Fury doesn't always log everything he's doing so you should speak with him."

Bucky turned and left the room "Fine. I'll fucking talk to Fury."

When he arrived at Fury's office, the man himself was just arriving with Maria Hill, discussing something that was probably above his pay grade. "Fury!"

Nick looked up "Yes, Sargent Barnes?"

"Radar left the compound early this morning and I need to know if you sent her somewhere or have any clue where she is."

A rare look of surprise crossed Fury's face before quickly disappearing for his typical scowl. "What do you mean she's offsite? I haven't approved anything. We have something big coming and will need her soon. There's a meeting this afternoon."

Bucky scoffed "Reschedule it. I'm not doing a damn thing until we find her."

Nick glared at him "You don't decide what we are or aren't doing Sargent." Then he sighed "But her assistance will be vital so I'll put it on hold for a minute but regardless, it's coming."

He turned to Maria "Call the team and their support staff to an emergency meeting in one hour. We need to get to the bottom of this."

An hour later the team was all sitting around a conference table. Tony half asleep but chugging coffee like his life depended on it, Steve and Sam fresh and showered after their morning run, Nat Wanda and Clint quietly trying to figure out what was going on. Assistants and other support staff at the furthest end of the table, quietly waiting. Bucky sat still and tense, waiting to get started.

Nick Fury strode in with Maria Hill in his wake "All right, everyone's here, let's get this started"

Tony interrupted "Radar isn't here, someone should find her."

Fury nodded "You hit the nail on the head, Stark. Radar isn't here or anywhere else on the compound. We have something big coming up and will need all hands so have to find her asap."

Maria Hill spoke up "All we have is the time she left and with whom. Plus a note she left for Sargent Barnes saying that she couldn't deal with everything and was returning to Madripoor."

She pulled up the image from her laptop, a fuzzy picture of Radar and Megan talking in the hallway outside of her room, then Megan's ID picture "Radar was seen with Megan Alexander, a dispensary tech who has worked for SHIELD for 5 years. Came to the compound shortly after it was converted."

Maria looked at the floor "A background check was done by someone I thought I could trust but was apparently a double agent. When I did some digging I found that her real name is Emily Megan Pierce. I think Radar is in real trouble."

@unaxv @calwitch @buckitostan @cjand10 . @vicmc624 @sandrab02

[creatingblackcharacters]

For the follow up questions, I wanna give my two cents on 6. "If everyone only hangs around people who aren't antiblack, why is the space still so overwhelmingly antiblack?" Part of that is bc people are def just bad at judging from the inside whether their group is racist or not, absolutely. No one likes admitting they or the circles they're in are racist, so there's a bunch of ppl who'll do their best ostritch impression and ignore it. But imo part of it is because the ppl who are racist are probably not following this blog or thinking about questions like this. In my experience talking about fandom racism (or sexism) is preaching to the choir, since the ppl who need to hear it rarely run in the same circles as people who care to talk about it. Not always ofc, but if ur the type of person who only thinks about white boys, ur probably not following creatingblackcharacters.tumblr.com, even if u nominally agree fandom racism is a problem. Bc at the end of the day, ur gonna flock to the corner of fandom talking about white boys and nothing else. And if ur the type to actively deny fandom racism is a thing, ur DEFINITELY not following a blog like this. A lot of the time I feel like ppls antiracism efforts in fandom get nowhere not just bc ppl are unwilling to consider they themselves might be racist (THOUGH THAT TOO!!) but also bc the antiracists and the racists genuinely DON'T run in the same circles as much. We just block and/or avoid each other. Which, ofc, makes it even more important to confront racists directly, something I've admittedly not done as much myself. Thinking this through has def made me reconsider that. I wanted to answer this question specifically bc I've driven myself nearly insane over the years asking myself exactly this, very glad to see someone else asking the question and starting this discussion, helped me reach the conclusion that although it may be unrewarding and often unproductive, the only way to combat fandom racism rlly truly is to confront racists directly, individually, on their posts. I obvs don't expect everyone to do this, but I think it might be the only way to pierce their echo chamber.

Hm!

[mcrcki]

"you know that's not what i fucking mean, xaden, don't fucking start with that--" they were only feeding off each other, and despite violet knowing that, she cannot stop herself from following him down this path, letting his anger fuel her own. "you're changing physically because of whatever the fuck you've done! i can fucking watch you become someone different! every time you tap into that fucking power, you're changing!" she felt like she was going to break down, every other word from him had her reeling, watching him become more and more unrecognizable.. this couldn't continue on, she had wasted so much fucking time without her memories, had spent so long just what? flirting with him and going on fucking dates with dain? she had doomed him with her inactions, her inability to find a cure. only putting herself in danger more so he felt like he needed to do more and more to protect her? "you think i wasn't tired of the maybe's?! of the fucking uncertainty that was going to come with you going down this road, with there being no fucking wards, no one else here that knows what the fuck a venin is! but if my two options were you dying or you becoming this, that doesn't put me in a fair position and you know it. i couldn't choose between those two, and you cannot expect me to make that choice." though, now, he had made that choice, leaving her with no other option right? if he was going to keep falling, not giving her any time to find a cure.. could she let him just walk away knowing how much of a danger he could become? he was already the most powerful rider in their generation, what would be become as a venin? "i can handle myself! you know i can! i don't need you to keep fucking draining because you're afraid of me being hurt! why can't you help me without falling further down this path, xaden? why does it have to be this way!" he had helped her so many times, had kept her safe so many different ways already, why did it have to be different now? why was the only option complete indifference or draining! "those people were complacent in torturing me and my friends, they would have killed you. someone just trying to deck you because you're being a dick is different! killing using those powers is different! how do you not see that every time you use them is making you fall deeper into this! that every time you drain, you get closer and closer to becoming one of them! how can you expect me to just sit back and watch you destroy yourself!" it was so hard to look at him, to see xaden underneath all of this. he was just right there, right within arms reach and gods all she wanted was her xaden back. to never have to deal with this venin bullshit ever again. but every day she was in danger, and considering her track record and luck that was nearly every day, he would continue to fall, until he was completely unrecognizable. before her and her friends were in danger because they stood in his way. wasn't it her responsibility to stop this? he became this because of her, she had to be the one to stop this. "you can't promise that. my power is basically the only thing that can fucking kill you, you remember that, right? you really think you won't see that as a threat if you let yourself go any further!" they were going in circles, this wasn't going to get them anywhere, not when he was clearly dodging her questions again, waiting for her to 'ask the right one', she's so sure. she wanted to fucking scream, needing a straight answer out of him for once. "tell me their name xaden. what is the name of the person you just killed?" because of all the people they knew... what were the chances that it was one of her friends? that rhi or dain or mira said something that set him off.. did he know anyone else that would send him over the edge that wouldn't have broken him? because touching imogen or liam would be too much, this wouldn't even be a conversation.. but dain? mira? her heartbeat only grew louder in her ears waiting for the answer, knowing it'll devastate her regardless.

"being physically different doesn't mean shit, are you really that fucking shallow, violet? i look a little different, that means i'm going to start attacking and killing the people i've given up fucking everything to protect? you act like i did this for a fucking laugh, everything i've done has been to keep you all safe!" he's sure he's given up more than she knows. he's very aware of the fact that his father is watching from wherever he is, cursing his name and disowning his only son. there's no family for him when he does meet malek, she'll be the only one by his side, and yet somehow he's the bad guy here. "we've been existing on a maybe for months! i'm not going to apologize for being sick and tired of balancing on the edge of whatever the fuck is going to happen when i finally let go! i'm sick and tired of this shit, violet! i wanted to end it all and you wouldn't let that happen, i wanted to embrace it and now that's a problem too!" he couldn't keep standing in between two different shitty endings, something had to give eventually. and at least this way, he could keep her safe. "really, because it seems like you're just expecting me to ignore the fact that you're in danger because it might make me get worse! we don't even know if that's the reality of it and you're acting like i shouldn't try to help you because of a guess!" he can't help but shake his head, frustrations leaking into every word he speaks, frustrations he'd never imagined being aimed at violet of all people, and yet here they are. "how was it different? i killed dozens of people that day, violet, none of who actually started the fight, but i kill one that attacked me and you're up in arms? that's not fair, you can't change your standards now because you don't like the method." but the more she lectures him, the more he doesn't see how they can possibly come to an agreement on this. she'll never see him as anything but a monster now, will she? as much as she claims not to, as much as she claims she wants to save him and keep him by her side, he's always going to be a monster to her now. "you would never be just a fucking power source, violence. and i think liam would respect that i made a choice to keep him alive, and that i'm still me after all of this!" and would that be partially because he was their leader? because liam felt loyalty to him? maybe so, but he's sure liam still would have accepted the choice after a bit of a debate. the same way he'd accepted every other sacrifice xaden had made for the marked children to keep them alive and safe. "i knew who it was." he replies, already knowing that elaborating any further will doom him, damn him in her eyes as something mad and irredeemable, if he isn't already. and maybe that's the problem. she knows too much, knows him too well, thinks she can read him like a book and know that something is wrong, rather than accepting that she's reading into something that isn't there. "it's not your responsibility, violence. i made my choices, they're my responsibility."

[self-spaghettification]

the theories in my drafts 👁️👁️

the theories i haven’t read 👁️👁️

me the past few weeks😴

me now 🔥🔥

[sulky-cabbage]

The sukugo fight can't get animated any sooner I'm craving sukugo tiktok edits

[angelmush]

starting to feel my enjoyment of cooking seeping back in after a long period of intense burnout that had me really slogging along preparing meals with gritted teeth for a good month there. i credit the return of this spark to the much needed break i took on our 3 day vacation that resulted in us eating solely theme park food. while delicious, in all its greasy overpriced glory, i found myself missing the kitchen. so last night for dinner i made heavily spiced chicken wings with crushed peppercorns and garam masala that rendered slowly in its own fat while roasting in the oven, resulting in flavorful charred crisp skin and a really juicy bite. we picked them clean over steamed rice with lime and scallions. i also baked a loaf of marbled pumpkin and dark chocolate bread yesterday for my neighbor as a thank you for doing me a favor last week. it looked delicious. the crumb was tender and plush and velvety, the spiced ginger molasses pumpkin batter swirling alongside the bitter dark chocolate espresso batter, with puddles of dark chocolate bubbling across its top. it looked so lovely i whipped up a second one for us to have for ourselves that's in the oven now, i think it could be a really good breakfast pastry for us this week.

[ednaeflowers]

how could she even say that as a joke? well, losing your only family and most important person in your life to death is surely one way of making edna use comedy as a coping mechanism. perhaps it was humor that was too dark for this princess to handle—or maybe it's edna who's just too cynical. maybe waiting for onii-chan to come home for over a thousand years is not exactly healthy for her mentality, but she is not willing to not wait for him. never. ❛  then you better start taking it seriously by not being a chicken with cold feet,  ❜ edna says, finally. ❛  i may have been making light of the situation until now, but i wouldn't bother giving you the time of day if i didn't see you have some kind of resolve. i don't like wasting my time.  ❜ she means it seriously this time. ❛  and if you keep being hesitant, you might as well get kidnapped again. if the problem is that you don't want to hurt an innocent person, then we should cease this now. having a soft heart won't stop your suitors from going your way, especially not kidnappers.  ❜ she starts thinking about alisha. ❛  i know a princess who trained everyday to be a knight so that she can protect herself and her people. what about you? what's the point of training to keep yourself safe if you can't even fend off your suitors?  ❜ 

with that said, edna follows her into a room with two people seated at the thrones who seem to be the king and queen, another person nearby with some extravagant-looking man. boredly standing next to sarah, she is unimpressed as she watches the man—whom she'll call 'doofus' henceforth—interact with everyone, then edna raises an eyebrow when he uncaringly ignore sarah and the queen in favor of the king despite being in the middle of a conversation. wow. personally, she'd give doofus six whacks for that. even zaveid only ever got three or four whacks from her at the maximum. zaveid may be an idiot, but at least he listens when a woman talks. ❛  i assume so,  ❜ she replies back at normal volume. no need to worry when only sarah can see her. ❛  frankly, he annoys me. if you don't do the honors, then i'll do it myself. it doesn't seem like anyone else here can see me, so it's not like you'll have to worry about your reputation if i do.  ❜ a pause. ❛  though, i suppose that wouldn't contribute anything to your training.  ❜

listening to the other girl talk, sarah was starting to wonder what she had truly gotten herself into. edna certainly had both a penchant for sweets and violence. it was unlike anyone else she had ever met before. were there others out there like her? had cornelia's champions encountered such people? sarah was silent as she listened to edna prattle on and hearing another foreign word made her mind wander again. a dance? what did this dance entail? perhaps she shouldn't have sought 'whacking' advice from such a strange girl, but it was too late to turn back now especially with the fact that they were outside the throne room and she was supposed to already be inside, but before she could open the doors, she is taken aback by edna's statement. whirling on the girl, no care inside of her if anyone on the other side heard her or thought she was mad, she replies, "absolutely not! how could you even say such a thing even as a joke!" shaking her head , her thoughts drift elsewhere. "the only one here that harbored such thoughts due to unfortunate circumstances of fate is no longer present. i can assure  you that my only desire to know such 'whackings' and 'thwackings' is to defend myself from another kidnapping!" 

holding her tongue, sarah simply nods, and enters the throne room. her parents, the king and queen, sat on their thrones with the chancellor nearby. her younger sister was not present, but the latest suitor to vey for her hand was. the love she held in her heart was filled with conflictions, but she did know for certain that it would be rude to lead this men on in the false premise that she would love them and to promise them her kingdom. taking her place beside her mother, she gives the latest suitor a formal bow and apologizes for the delay. she wasn't sure what edna thought of all of this, but she knew the girl would have her say about the too freshly clean and laundered suitor that stood before them all. there was something about him that seemed too... well, there was something off about him. she entertained his questions well enough until he grew bored and cut her off and turned to her father and the chancellor for their opinions on sarah. what! he even ignored her mother! ooh! that set her blood to boiling and sarah murmurs under her breath to edna, "this boy certainly does not care much for my mother and i. perhaps your training will come in handy."

[fakeoutbf]

five stages of grief but it’s five stages of social anxiety