#but i think i just need to start giving MYSELF the time of day TOO!

[seenoversundown]

Insidious : Four

Jake Kiszka x Rory (Fem OC)

Warnings: Strong language, Alcohol, Drinking/Blacking Out, Insinuations/Foul Play, Moshing, Strange (but hot) men, Metal Music, Angry themes, anxious thoughts, a lot of Josh, and not thinking straight.

Word Count: 3.8k

Author's Note: There's something to be said about this specific story and I wish I could say it but, you'll just have to figure it out for yourselves. 🤭

Tempe, Arizona | Show #1

“You guys have two hours!” I shout as they’re all fucking around on the bus. “Can you at least get dressed?” Looking over at Sam who was completely clothed at one point today but now, he’s sat in his boxers. 

“Okay, okay!” Sam throws his hands up, laughing as he does. Winking as he says, “Only because you asked nicely.”

Shooting him a smile, “Thank you!” 

I spend most of the afternoon trying to not check my schedule too many times and let them do whatever they want, so they don’t get too antsy. Trying to remind myself that they’re still boys at the end of the day— they need to get the energy out or it’ll suddenly be my problem. 

Unfortunately, I’m the one who’s losing their mind. Taking the opportunity, I sneak off into the bathroom to finish doing my makeup. The room is tiny, but it’s oddly comforting to sit in. Carefully setting my makeup bag in the sink, I start pulling out what I need. 

This may be the only time during my days where I get to feel normal, and not think about the fact I’m going to be surrounded by men all the time for a couple weeks. 

Naturally, the moment I start blending out my concealer, my peace is disrupted. 

“When are you gonna check in for the hotel rooms?” Jake’s voice fills the tiny room. Glancing over at him, his arms folded over his chest, leaning against the door frame. 

Pausing my rapid patting with my sponge to tell him, “I was planning on it after I looked presentable.” 

“Hmm..” he hums out, but not moving. “You do know that everyone is gonna end up at a bar somewhere, right?” 

Staring at him, straight faced and slightly unamused by his comment. 

Letting out a small chuckle, he says, “It’s tradition.”

“Tradition?” I question, turning back to the mirror to try and get this over with. 

“Maybe that’s not the word,” he says. “But, it happens every tour, so..be prepared.” 

My eyebrows pop up, but I don’t say anything. Choosing peace and to not play into his weird game of doubting me. But he proceeds to tell me about how many hotel rooms there should be, the things that need to be left in said hotel rooms, and what time I needed to be back here for the show. 

“Jake,” I finally cave. Turning to face him as I zip my bag shut. “I know what I’m doing.” 

He smirks, “I’m just making sure.”

Rolling my eyes, I breathe out, “Can you move?” 

He doesn’t. Standing there, looking proud as fuck, he stares at me trapped in this closet of a bathroom. His arms still folded over his chest, there was something about the way his eyes looked that just felt unsettling. 

Raising my eyebrows at him, and sinking into my hip, I ask, “Hello?”

He stays silent. 

“For fucks sake,” I mutter as I try to push past him. He doesn’t make it easy, and I practically trip trying to slip through the door frame with him in it. His hand grabbed my arm and stopped me from actually falling. 

“First day with legs?” He asks, oozing with sarcasm. 

My head whips over to him, snapping, “Oh, fuck off.”

“You’d like that,” he says, pulling the door shut. 

I can never tell where I stand with him and honestly at this point– I don’t care to. This is my job and unfortunately, we’re just gonna have to be around each other and if he wants to play this weird cat and mouse game with me, then he has another thing coming. 

It doesn’t really take that long to get the hotel rooms situated, which yet again, I’ll never understand how they can afford these things considering the genre of music they play. Maybe they are better off than it seems, who’s to say? I personally will not be complaining because they did in fact, give me my own room. 

Once I’m back at the venue, which mind you is this grimy looking bar that has a stage in it, I can’t help but notice that people have started lining up. Something I am a bit more familiar with- plenty of boys in black skinny jeans with nasty looking converse. It’s amazing that we haven’t lost the culture yet. 

“How’s everything going?” I ask as I walk up behind Josh. 

He spins around, a smile on his face, “Oh, we are basically good to go.”

“Thank God,” I breathe out. “Do you need anything?”

He shakes his hand, patting my arm a couple times, “I’m good. I think you need a drink though.”

I slow blink at him before letting out, “Um, yes.”

“Join me, my sweet,” he says, holding his arm out for me to grab. “Let us find a beverage together!” 

I laugh, linking my arm through his, “Show me the way, my liege!” 

Sipping on my fruity little cocktail that Josh so graciously ordered for me, I look over to him, mumbling, “This is exactly what I needed.” 

“I had a feeling,” he giggles. “You seemed tense.”

I suck in a deep breath, staring at him for a second before admitting, “I just feel like someone has eyes on me all the time.” 

“You get used to it,” he tells me. Sipping on his drink before saying, “He’s really not an asshole. I don’t know what’s gotten into him lately.” 

I hear the doors open behind me, turning my head to see a handful of scrawny boys walking towards us, including the rest of the ones I’m in charge of. 

“There you two are!” Sam says louder than necessary. Leaning over our laps to order a drink. “Should have known Josh would have swindled you in here.” 

“He has a way of doing that,” Danny tells me, side-eyeing Josh. 

I bark out a laugh, listening to the three of them bicker with each other. Well, it’s really two against one right now, but regardless, it’s hilarious. 

“What did you get today?” Danny asks, looking over at my glass. 

I shrug, “Oh, Josh ordered it. I have no idea.”

His eyes go wide, “Be careful. He knows his way around alcohol– he’ll have you on your ass QUICK.” 

Josh winks at me, letting out a little laugh. Holding up his glass for a second before taking a sip, and now I wish I knew what this was. Thankfully, Josh didn’t seem like he was trying to get me absolutely obliterated before they even went on, but Danny’s comment is gonna be stowed in the back of my mind for later. 

“Drinking on the job?”

I swear he hates me for some fucking reason. 

I turn to Jake, clocking the fact he has a beer in hand and a shit eating grin on his face. 

“I feel like you don’t have much room to talk, now do you?” I let out, tilting my head slightly and smiling back at him. 

He blinks slowly at me, “Cute.” 

“Glad you think so,” I mumble back to him, my eyebrows raised, hoping he remembers that night. 

He doesn’t say anything else, turning to go talk to one of the opener bands guitarist. Good. If there’s one thing he needs to learn about me, is that I’m simply not afraid of men like him. 

After we all scurry out of the main part of the bar, they open the doors for everyone else to come in. I could feel the energy in the building shift once fans were present– it’s addicting. 

Quite literally part of why I got into the industry, the adrenaline of a show is my favorite feeling. Even being on the working side of it, still does the trick. Hearing the chatter of people filtering in, I can’t resist from going to look. 

Even though the venue is small, seeing it filled to the brim, really was a sight. I had managed to walk out just in time for the first band on the bill to start, and I can’t deny that I wasn’t a little excited to witness all the other bands as well. 

I wasn’t necessarily the biggest fan of metalcore by any means, but it definitely crossed my radar from time to time. Always preferring things under the rock umbrella, but I did thoroughly enjoy working shows like this because the crowds were fun to watch. 

It’s not long before the pushing and shoving began, and I had to hold back the laughs when it did. The opening band was fairly heavy, but almost not enough to warrant a pit to open up, but it was definitely worth the watch.  

I stood with the few sound guys that were working, noticing that none of the band was out here, and not fully understanding why. Most shows I worked, the headliners would typically pop out to watch a little bit of the sets. I stared down the little hallway, seeing them roaming about back there so I knew they were at least alive. 

Feeling my phone vibrate a few times before I finally pulled it out to check.

Georgia: how’s everything going!? 

Georgia: imysm i hope youre having fun at least!! 

Quickly replying to her–

Me: i miss you too! Things are going, it’s the first show so it’s just taking some getting used to. I’ll keep you updated tho. 

Swiping out of our messages and seeing my other favorite lady with the blue dot next to her name, I can’t fight the smile that grew on my face. 

Ruby: omg how is it? Send me pics of danny when they go on hehe 

Ruby: i can’t wait to see you soon 

Me: oh rubes, of course I will LMAO 

Me: i know it can’t come fast enough!! It’ll be so fun 

I feel an arm drap across my shoulders, and to my surprise when I look over, Sam is stood next to me. 

“Well, hello,” I laugh out. 

He smiles, looking over at me, loudly asking, “Having fun?”

I nod a few times, both of us turning to watch the band on stage. 

It was refreshing that at least three of the boys I have to worry about don’t seem to have any issues with me. Especially Josh for some reason, I don’t know why he has been extra welcoming, but I don’t want to say that too loud or anything. 

The first set was the shortest, as you would expect, so it’s not long before they are announcing that they only have one song left. Sam and I taking our cue to head back to not be in the way while they switch out sets. 

Walking into the tiny greenroom with honestly too many people wandering in and out, I couldn’t help but notice that Jake was missing. Josh and Danny wrapped up in conversation with another band member, with Sam wandering off from me to mingle with another bass player. 

Finding my way out behind the bar, there he is. I didn’t even fully walk outside before I could hear him, which he sounded.. upset? Glancing around the door, he’s pacing around this small dirt parking lot. The light barely catching him, but his black skinny jeans hung lower on his hips than I’d like to admit, and his lack of shirt was really fucking with me. I’ve seen more of this man in the last thirty six hours than I ever meant to. 

“How the fuck do you think we’re gonna pull that off?” he barks into the phone. 

I’m not jealous of whoever is on the other end of that call. 

His arm flying out to the side, the cigarette carefully dangling from between his fingers– shocking that he didn’t send it across the length of the parking lot. 

He pulls the phone away from his ear, and all I can hear him say is, “That motherfucker.” Slowly starting to turn towards the door, I feel a chill run through my body when he clocks me standing here. I could see the scowl on his face even in minimal light and I knew I was fucked even further. 

“What the fuck are you doing?” he asks me, walking towards me faster than my brain can comprehend. 

I hesitate to say anything, and all I can get out is, “Uhhhh..” 

“How long were you there for?” he asks, now standing uncomfortably close to me and his voice is low. 

I feel my hands shaking slightly, I whisper, “Like thirty seconds.”

He stares at me, the anger still in his eyes as he does. Finally mutters, “Don’t fucking do that again.” Walking inside past me, practically shoving me into the door. 

What the fuck was that? 

I spent the next two bands trying to forget what happened, but something about the way he acted just sat weird with me. Standing at the sound booth when it was finally their turn to go on. Watching as the sound guys check the mics and everything, I look over to see them coming out from the hall. 

The crowd was insane from the moment they stepped on stage. I can’t argue that they didn’t have a good set. Despite never having looked them up, it was fun to watch them, even if things felt a little off for me right now. Making sure to send Ruby a few pictures of Danny, that I was able to get easily being backstage. 

The way they captivated the fans was incredible to see. I don’t know what it was about them, but they really were mesmerizing. Nothing would have prepared me to hear Josh screaming like that, with how sweet and charming he is off stage. He absolutely blew me away. 

Giving each of them a moment to shine in my brain– I found myself spending a few minutes staring at each of them. Danny tearing up the drums was wild and I can see why his arms look the way they do. The man never stops. It was more than impressive and I suddenly understand Ruby’s attraction. Not quite in the same way, but I get it.

Sam did the absolute most with that bass. The way he would flip his hair around while he was playing had me laughing. He really played it up when there wasn’t a ton for him to do, and I’d like to say whatever his goal was, I think it worked. I could see a few girls eyeing him from the crowd and I’m almost positive that he saw it too. 

Something about Jake had me in a trance it felt like. The way his hips moved against his guitar and the expression on his face, had my body warming up as I stood there. His smile when everyone would cheer after a song was over, and unfortunately, he was an attractive man and I’m just a girl. He was wildly talented, not that I doubted him, but I never would have guessed he was like this. 

His fingers flying along the neck of the guitar as he solos and playing whatever riff he could think of. Doing everything in my power to not stare at them too hard, but it was difficult to look away. 

Shaking my head, I finally walk off to get everything ready for when they’re done. Picking up any leftover trash to try and be helpful to the bar, since they’ve been awesome to us so far. Looking in my bag, and double checking all the hotel room keys, just in time to hear the crowd cheering for what must be the last song. 

A few minutes later, they all come into the greenroom looking nasty as ever. All of them out of breath and I don’t think a single one of them made it more than ten seconds before losing their shirt. My brain clocks in as soon as they all settle down, telling them, “I have your room keys and the driver is ready to bring all of you back to the hotel so if you want to shower you can.” 

All four of them staring over at me, and all I get in response is some heavy breathing. 

I continue, “Whatever or whoever you want to do after that is up to you, I just want to make sure everybody gets to the hotel in one piece.” 

“How nice is the hotel bar?” Sam asks. 

I laugh, “You’d be surprised.” 

“Perfect.” 

It’s not long before I’ve corralled them all onto the bus– nobody talks about how hard it is to wrangle four adult men, but it’s like giving a cat a bath. The drive over to the hotel was short and surprisingly quiet considering who were talking about here. 

They all grab their respective keys and disappear into their rooms and I wander down the hall to mine. All the rooms were near each other so it wasn’t hard to find each other. Sam and Danny were in one together and the twins in another, so it was even easier. 

Letting my door shut behind me, I relish in the quiet finally. Not that the bus was that uncomfortable to sleep in, but boy, was I excited to sleep in this bed tonight. Laying down immediately, fully dressed, I had no shame. God, this is incredible. 

It lasts for all of a few minutes when my phone goes off. 

Josh: Bar? 

Me: idk this bed is comfy 

Josh: just for a little bit? 

Josh: you know you want to! 

I let out a sigh, knowing he wasn’t going to let up unless I said yes. A drink or two wouldn’t hurt and at least I get to just sit down. 

Me: okay fine lol you win 

Changing into a looser band shirt, and tying it up so it was more cropped. I slip my bra off, pulling it out one of the sleeves. I have nobody to impress right now, so who cares? Sliding my my shoes back on, I grab my bag, with my key in it, and head downstairs. 

“Yeahhhh!” Josh’s voice echoes as he sees me. The other boys turning and cheering with him. 

I laugh as I get closer, telling him, “I’m only having maybe two drinks, don’t get too excited.” 

“Here I’ll order you something!” he couldn’t spit it out fast enough. “You deserve to celebrate your first show too.” Handing me another pretty looking drink that I don’t bother to question because I quite literally watched the bartender make it. 

“Well, I will agree with that.” Clinking our glasses together, it felt like we really just solidified a friendship in the moment. 

A handful of other people made their way into the bar and it was pretty fun to just hang out with everyone. Naturally, a handful of girls knew where the boys were staying so I got to enjoy watching them try to swindle them into taking them back to their rooms. So far, the only one who seems interested is Sam. Danny is fully invested in a conversation with a few random dudes that he met. There are a couple girls trying to talk to the twins, but unfortunately for the girls, neither of them seem that intrigued. 

I stayed at the bar, avoiding mostly anybody that wasn’t paying me. Nursing the drink that Josh had ordered, jostling the cup so I could make the tiny bits of ice swirl in the cup. Unprepared for a new drink to appear in front of me, Josh smiling as I look over. 

“You look like you needed a refill,” he says, his raspy voice cutting through the bar chatter. 

I smile at him, “Thank you.”

“There’s a man who keeps looking at you,” he whispers. “Do you want me to encourage him or not?” 

I shake my head, “Please– god, no.” 

He laughs at my response, squeezing my shoulder a few times, telling me, “No worries, I’ll deter him.” 

It’s not that I wasn’t interested in potentially getting laid, just not tonight. I don’t particularly love one-night-stands, but a girl’s gotta do what she’s gotta do, y’know? 

Looking over to where Josh has trot off to, I can’t help but notice the dude he’s talking to and he is kinda hot. Damn, maybe I messed up. My legs had a mind of their own when I found myself walking towards them 

“Hey,” I let out, and Josh’s head whips over to me. 

His eyes looking all over my face, and then looking towards the guy, “This is Rory, our tour manager.” 

I rake my eyes all over this man- tall, tattoos, his hair pulled up into the messiest bun I’ve ever seen, and green eyes. He was a dream. I think if my eyes could pop out of my head, they would have. 

He looks at me, and I can feel the way he’s staring at my tits through my shirt, his eyebrow pops up and he finally says, “Nice to meet you, Rory.” 

My nerves making me down my drink faster than I probably should have. We stood there talking for a while, I hadn’t even noticed that Josh left. Discovering that his name was Sawyer, and that he also worked in the industry. He was working for one of the opening bands. 

“Here you go, angel,” he says, handing me a drink. Against my better judgement, I take a few sips from it. Definitely not as good as whatever Josh orders, but he’s so pretty I can’t say no. 

“So,” I start, but asking, “Where do you live?” 

He smiles sweetly at me, saying, “I actually live in Austin, but–” He starts telling me about where he’s from, but my brain isn’t processing what he’s saying. 

I look around, noticing that Jake is standing across the bar and I happen to look at him long enough that his head turns to face me. My eyes darting back over to Sawyer, who’s still rambling on, talking with his hands, his beautifully tattooed hands. 

Shifting my weight from one leg to the other, my body starts to feel warm. I take another sip of my drink, hoping it helps but, it does the exact opposite. My stomach turns and I look up at Sawyer, trying to hide the embarrassment, I tell him, “I’m just gonna run to the bathroom. I’ll be right back.” Taking all of two steps to walk around him, and my vision starts to get spotty. Stumbling over myself, and dropping my drink. I feel someones arm wrap around me as I start to fall. And all I hear is, “What the fuck did you give her?” before it all goes black.

Three

Masterpost

Taglist: (reply or dm to be added)

@gvfsstardust @myleftsock @imleavingyoufornewyork @dont-go-home-without-me

@literal-dead-leaf @lizzys-sunflower @mackalah @klarxtr

@edgingthedarkness @writingcold @takenbythemadness @i-love-gvf

@earthgrlsreasy @peaceloveunitygvf @gretavanfan @musicspeaks

@jazzyfigz @smoking-jakelane @demonrat444 @hollyco

@josh-iamyour-mama @wrldabomination @broken0mens @whereiskeara

@gvf-luna @lilbitx @gvfstuddedmajesty @katuschka @chloeshell1219

@becinabubblegvf @scoreofinfantryvines @ourlovesdesires

@sanguinebats @nicoleghost18 @lightmy-love

@monkeylaura627 @myownparadise96 @cheersdannyx2 @dyslexicchild13

@lallisonl @mohollandtx @fleetingjake @allof--mylove

@anythingforjtk @musicislove3389

@i-choose-the-road @demolitiondanchipsversion @godly-sinsx

@joshylanefleet @alantern-inthenight @justwantjosh

[fearfulfertility]

CONFIDENTIAL TRANSCRIPT

To: Senator [REDACTED], Congressional Committee on Population Sustainability

From: Director [REDACTED], Department of Reproductive Compliance

Date: [REDACTED]

Subject: Operational Justification of Surrogate Conscription

EXECUTIVE SUMMARY

Recent census data indicate reproduction rates have risen to [REDACTED]%, a significant improvement in national fertility rates and surpassing the [REDACTED]% emergency threshold used initially to justify surrogate conscription. While positive, abandoning our highly effective operational framework at this stage would pose political risks and threaten the stability we’ve carefully built. This transcript outlines the necessity and strategic value of continuing the surrogate conscription program, emphasizing its critical role in political control, administrative stability, and public perception.

MEETING TRANSCRIPT

Participants:

Director [REDACTED] – Department of Reproductive Compliance

Senator [REDACTED] – Congressional Committee on Population Sustainability

Location: Executive Lounge, DRC Headquarters

Date & Time:  [REDACTED], 17:30 hours

[BEGIN TRANSCRIPT]

Director [REDACTED]

Well, Senator, I suppose you’ve seen the latest census numbers—fertility's up across the board. Technically speaking, our crisis justification is fading quicker than expected. Some eager folks up on Capitol Hill might think this means we need to roll back the conscription program.

Senator [REDACTED]

Aw, c'mon now, Director. Ya ain’t thinkin’ about pullin’ the plug just ’cause a few extra babies got born, are ya? Shoot, son, half the fun of bein' up here is keepin' folks convinced there's a crisis. Gives us room to maneuver, ya see.

Director [REDACTED]

Exactly my thought, Senator. We've created something far too useful to just hand it back. The department’s grown into a real political powerhouse. Thousands of jobs depend on it—not to mention a few bits of fun here and there. Honestly, why would we want to walk away from all that?

Senator [REDACTED]

Couldn't agree more, friend. Hell, between you an' me, the DRC's become as American as apple pie—folks’d probably be suspicious if we didn’t keep this thing runnin’. Besides, plenty of my colleagues have gotten mighty comfortable with the perks, if ya catch my drift. Be a shame to disrupt their fun... uh… good fortune.

Director [REDACTED]

Oh, I absolutely catch your drift, Senator. The truth is, this program provides more than just babies. It provides stability, consistency—and the boys certainly are beautiful once their nice and plump? Plus, ending it now would open up a whole can of ethical worms. People might start asking awkward questions. I'd prefer we not give them that opportunity.

Senator [REDACTED]

Ha! Ethical worms, that's rich. The day we start worryin' ’bout ethics in this building is the day we both retire early, am I right? Nah, the public's happier thinkin' we're savin' civilization, one preggo whore at a time. Makes a mighty fine talkin' point at the barbecue, too. Folks eat it right up.

Director [REDACTED]

Couldn’t have said it better myself. Politically, this whole operation has been gold. We’ve built something that keeps the administration looking heroic and decisive—people trust us to handle things, no questions asked. Why let reality spoil a good time?

Senator [REDACTED]

Amen, brother. Look, just write up somethin' fancy ’bout demographic stabilization or some such thing. Keep the tone cautious, say we’re monitorin’ the situation, buy us another [REDACTED], maybe a solid [REDACTED] years easy. You know how the game goes—nobody reads the fine print anyway.

Director [REDACTED]

Perfect. We'll frame it as necessary caution—no rush to celebrate just yet. As long as the public believes there's still work to do, they'll never question our operations. That gives us political cover indefinitely.

Senator [REDACTED]

Exactly! And let’s be honest, the jobs, the contracts—hell, the whole kit and caboodle—it’s got a momentum of its own. It’d be downright unpatriotic to turn that gravy train around now. My friends up in Congress would tar and feather anyone who tried to put a stop to it.

Director [REDACTED]

Then we’re agreed. We stay the course. Keep everyone employed, comfortable, and blissfully unaware. I'll draft the usual vague assurances of ongoing evaluation—make it sound reassuringly scientific and absolutely necessary.

Senator [REDACTED]

Sounds mighty fine. Ya know, Director, it’s always good catchin’ up. Folks out there think we're all business, but they don’t know how much fun we have keepin’ this circus runnin’.

Director [REDACTED]

Couldn’t agree more, Senator. I’ll send you the draft memo tomorrow morning. Let’s keep the good times running.

Senator [REDACTED]

Speakin' of good times, I gotta hand it to ya, Director. That little visit you arranged for me at Site [REDACTED]—that was somethin' else. Beautiful beach, sunshine, nothin' but relaxation. And them two boys you sent to keep me company? Well, son, let’s just say you sure know how to show an old senator a mighty fine time.

Director [REDACTED]

Glad you enjoyed yourself, Senator. I made sure those two were hand-picked… and heavily dosed with the [REDACTED] serum to make them… very compliant. Consider it my personal thanks for all the unwavering support you've thrown our way.

Senator [REDACTED] 

Ha! Well, I appreciate it. Tell ya what, seein' ’em relax and enjoyin' themselves out there on the beach was a real treat. Could hardly believe how big they were gettin', though. Good lord, Director, you're certainly keepin' those boys productive.

Director [REDACTED] (laughs):

You know my motto—maximum output, maximum efficiency. Those two were some of our top performers, too. Healthy, fit, very full. Figured you'd appreciate the quality assurance firsthand.

Senator [REDACTED]

Quality assurance indeed! Now, I've seen my fair share of your compounds and your boys in various stages—but relaxin' with 'em out there on that beach? That was a whole new level. Ya know, it was almost surreal, watchin' those young fellas soak up the sun with bellies so big they couldn’t even stand without help. Lord Almighty, Director, ya sure keep ’em productive, don't ya?

Director [REDACTED]

Hope they met expectations?

Senator [REDACTED]

Exceeded ’em, Director! You know, though, watchin' them big boys struggle to move even a few inches—felt like watchin' turtles flipped on their backs. Cute turtles, mind ya, but stuck all the same. But heck, your boys were always eager to climb into my lap for some attention. Pure entertainment and a little bit o' acrobatics, all rolled into one.

Director [REDACTED]

Well, Senator, we like to think of it as motivational entertainment. Besides, there are worse ways to spend the weekend. And, of course, we didn't want them too active. Can't risk early deliveries outside compound oversight.

Senator [REDACTED] 

Truth be told, I almost felt bad knowin' what awaited ’em afterward. But, hey, least they got one last vacation outta the deal, right? You spoil 'em, Director.

Director [REDACTED]

Only the best, Senator. Besides, these little "field trips" help boost morale among the handlers, too. A few perks here and there go a long way in keeping the whole operation running smooth.

Senator [REDACTED]

Exactly. Keepin’ spirits high, and bellies round, eh? That’s the ticket. You keep arrangin' trips like that one, and you'll never hear me complain, I guarantee it.

Director [REDACTED]

Duly noted, Senator. Consider it standard operational procedure going forward. Anything else I can arrange for you?

Senator [REDACTED]

 I'll let ya know, son. I'll let ya know.

[END TRANSCRIPT]

CONCLUSION

Given its strategic and political value, the recent positive fertility indicators do not justify dismantling the surrogate conscription program. Sustaining current operations provides employment stability, preserves political advantage, and ensures ongoing public confidence. The continuation of the surrogate conscription initiative remains both pragmatically and politically indispensable.

Respectfully submitted,

Director [REDACTED], DRC

----------------

ADDENDUM

RE: Follow-Up on Surrogates from Senator [REDACTED]’s Recent Visit to Site [REDACTED]

This addendum documents the current status of Surrogates S-142-244-M and S-129-129-O, who accompanied Senator [REDACTED] during his recent recreational visit to Site [REDACTED].

Surrogate S-142-244-M (Tridecuplets) entered labor [REDACTED] days following the Senator’s departure. After successful delivery of all 13 offspring, surrogate health rapidly deteriorated, resulting in expiration approximately [REDACTED] minutes post-delivery. Cause of expiration confirmed as [REDACTED] due to extreme [REDACTED].

Surrogate S-129-129-O (Quindecuplets) commenced active labor approximately [REDACTED] hours following the Senator's departure, successfully delivering 15 offspring. Post-delivery vitals indicated severe [REDACTED] rupture and systemic exhaustion, resulting in expiration [REDACTED] minutes after delivering the final fetus.

All offspring from both surrogates survived birth and have been transferred to standard neonatal processing. No further action is required.

----------------

Click Here to return to DRC Report Archives

[simlicious]

I appreciate you 💜

Thanks to those who have donated for my website, it helps a lot and means so much to me! Thanks to all of you who comment and tag me in your screenshots too, stuff like that really lifts my spirits as well, and thank you to all those who have been kind to me in other ways.

Now I want to talk a bit about how I've been and why I have not been very active lately. It's mostly because I am very exhausted and I feel a lot of pain, frustration, shame and sadness because I can't function like I want to. And sometimes, seeing all of your amazing posts on tumblr is just too overwhelming and I feel sad because I cannot partake the way I would like to at this time. I've been feeling burnt out for the better part of this year, I have very little energy these days and being social exhausts me too. I have now gotten professional help. It's not therapy yet, but a social psychiatric service is currently helping me with getting financial aid and we also plan what other things may help me get better. Apparently, I would need to find a really good therapist who is right for me and my specific needs and it seems that is not exactly easy. To distract myself from the depressing feeling of not being able to do stuff, I have been playing a lot of Factorio together with my brother who gifted me the game for my birthday. It's really fun and addictive! Unfortunately, this has flared up my hand/arm pain again so now I need to take it extra slow, and it's also very frustrating since I feel my creativity is slowly returning, but at the moment, I cannot really act on it. I'm not yet sure how I can combine working on my mental health together with being creative/ possibly releasing CC and helping you guys with your CC projects, if there is enough energy left. My focus is definitely on myself and getting better. I got a bit of a reality check, though I have always known I will not just magically get better. It will probably take years and years until I am somewhat back to a normal version of myself. I gotta start somewhere, and even taking the tiniest of steps is still moving forward. I just wish it wasn't so hard! I'm a bit hesitant to call a hiatus, because I think I will still occasionally make posts, just probably not as frequent.

Making CC and helping people learn to make CC is really important to me, and I feel like this is where I can make a positive difference in the world. It helps me to feel useful and like I have a place in this world. So I do not want to give it up, I rather want to work on myself so I can feel confident again, starting with small projects, and hope to eventually tackle bigger projects that I have been wanting to do for years. I hope I can find a way to learn how to do them confidently step by step without overwhelming or exhausting myself too much in the process or getting discouraged on the way. I think the key here is perseverance, something I don't feel I have a lot of but what I need to make long-term progress. I hope I can gather enough of it for the steps to come!

[chock-and-bates]

(trying to distract myself from The Horrors)

I am curious to hear more about the phone sex fic if you would like to share some details? is it tied to one you've already told about?

(i get it, this is a nightmare 😭)

i actually don't think i've talked about the phone sex fic, so i'm happy to share more. i've wanted to write phone sex for awhile, and i felt inspired recently. it's also a nice, easy fic to keep up with my writing while the rest of my life is such a mess lol. it's basic but filthy, very fun to write.

Premise: During a race weekend, Charles gets a late night call from Max. His boyfriend is frustrated, not only because he can't sleep, but also because Charles can't be in bed next to him. When Max suggests phone sex, Charles finds that he isn't that opposed to the idea 👀

should be out next weekend!

snippet under the cut (mildly spicy 🌶️)

“I said, I sleep better when you’re next to me,” Max says, a little testily, but Charles thinks he can practically hear his embarrassed blush through the phone.

The warm feeling from a moment ago returns ten-fold, and Charles has to smother his dumb little grin into his pillow, grateful that Max can’t see him. Five months together and he’s still bashful about the butterflies Max gives him.

“I’ll try to stay with you tomorrow night, mon amour,” Charles promises, hoping he doesn’t sound as lovesick as he so truly is.

“That’s lovely, baby, but it won’t help me tonight,” Max grouses, “Fuck, you’re sure you can’t come over? We haven’t been together in-”

“Five days,” Charles says, maybe a bit too quickly, giving himself away.

It’s just- it’s been a very long five days, and though Charles is too proud to admit, he’s missed his boyfriend quite a bit. Their relationship had bloomed in the offseason, and though there were plenty of days spent apart, it’s been pitifully hard ever since the season started to have Max so close but so untouchable.

Charles may have been going a little crazy. But Max didn't need to know that.

“Five shitty days,” Max sounds so agitated, something rustling on his end like he’s tossing and turning in his bed.

“We have been apart for longer,” Charles half-heartedly defends, “Remember in December, for the holidays? We didn’t see each other for two weeks until I surprised you back in Monaco.”

Max is quiet for a moment, “Back when you knocked on my door in the middle of the night?”

“Yes. I am just saying if we survived that-”

“Charles,” Max cuts him off, his voice suddenly raspier, “If you want me to think about being inside you, you could have just said so.”

Charles' breath hitches, startled, “What?”

“The sofa,” Max replies, “That night you surprised me.”

And Charles had even been thinking of that aspect of their reunion, but it comes back to him quickly- how Max had looked so surprised when he’d opened the door before breaking out into the cutest smile. He’d pulled Charles in for a kiss hello that had rapidly deepened, their time apart making them so hungry. They hadn’t even made it to the bedroom… instead stumbling over to the sofa, where Max had bent Charles over the arm, pressing him down, his big cock splitting him open-

Even as the memory makes his blood run hot, Charles eyes narrow down at the phone, realization suddenly dawning on him.

“Are you horny,” Charles hisses, accusatory, “Is that why you are trying to get me to come over?”

There’s another vague shuffling sound as Max snickers, “Can you blame me? You looked so good today. Had to hold myself back from smacking your ass when you walked by in the paddock… And so what if I am also missing the other stuff we do in bed besides sleeping.”

Charles groans, “I cannot believe you woke me for sex.”

[vndrlinde]

— Experiencing ✨

Dutch Van Der Linde x Fem! Reader

Warnings: SMUT, Piss Play, cum, adult content 🔞

Word Count: 1034 words.

Note: I tried to write a oneshot where a bit of piss play could be included, I love Dutch and i believe he would be into it. Again, i’m not a professional writter, so expect mistakes as i’m still learning 🫶🏻 thank you and enjoy it!

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Laying in bed fully bare after another successful round of love making. The smiles on your faces did not fool anyone, you were made for each other and it was impossible to go a day without it.

Dutch had a proud grin on his face as he looked at you.

“Satisfied, my dear?” He said with a deep voice, using his finger to caress your face.

“Impossible not to be…” you smile, adjusting your position now to snuggle against him.

Dutch had his chest filled with pride from always being able to give his woman the pleasure she so craves, and himself, of course.

As you prepare to fall asleep, Dutch has a better idea that suddenly popped in his restless mind. He had his fingers running up and down your spine, watching your eyes shut and your breathe hot against his chest.

“Darling?” He whispers.

You hum sleepy.

“I been thinking about somethin’”

“When are you not thinking about something, Dutch?” you said with some mockery, while Dutch simply rolled his eyes playfully.

“Very funny” he said, “But… i’ve been wondering if you wanted to try something new?”

You open your eyes and look up at him,

“Something new? Enlighten me…”

Dutch smirks slyly.

“Well, it might be a little extreme for some folk, but i do believe, or at least hope, you wouldn’t mind it…”

You keep your gaze up, waiting for him to carry on.

“I do need to relieve myself, darling.” He said, looking in your eyes.

You frown, not getting why he said that.

“Didn’t you just relieve yourself minutes ago, love?” You asked, confused.

He nods his head to the sides.

“Honey, it’s a…” he clears his throat, “well, it’s a different thing” he smirks again.

You look at him for a while until you realise what he meant.

“Oh.”

“Yeah, oh.” He chuckles.

“So the new thing you want to try is… piss?” You ask, still unsure.

Dutch nods, slowly approaching your ear.

“If you’d let me pee on you, mark you all up with my scent, it would make me very pleased...” He whispered, almost like a hungry purr.

You take a deep breathe. You never thought about this before, you didn’t even know if you were fond of the idea or not, but you were certain of something… that you were going to try it.

Dutch has always had this “taboo” fantasy, always awaking something primal everytime he would dream of doing it with a loved one.

He looks at you with a lustful look, his eyes dark with desire.

“So…?” He purrs.

You gulp and look at him.

“I want it, just try to not make too much of a mess” you whispered.

“Don’t worry about it” he nods, slowly adjusting himself in a good position.

“I will try not to, i have been holding it all day though…”

His hand runs down to grab his cock, giving it a few strokes before aiming it at your thigh.

You realise how he is preparing for it and take a deep breathe, looking down in its direction.

After a few seconds he begins to release a nice, warm stream against your thigh.

“There we go” he growls.

You gasp at the sudden foreign feeling, it was quite nice but weird at the same time.

As he continues to relieve himself, he relaxes his body a lot more, making the piss splash all over your legs and sheets.

“God that feels good” he moans, still grabbing his now hardened cock and beginning to aim at your core.

“Oh my…” you let out in a shaky breathe.

“Easy.. it’s okay” he whispered.

His stream starts to slow down now, a few more spurts and he’s done with it, wiggling it to get rid of the last droplets.

“mmh perfect…” he said as he starts to stroke his cock slowly, looking at you again.

“Did you like it, my love?” He asked with a satisfied expression.

You take a deep breathe and nod.

“I guess i am just surprised at how that felt so good…” you bring your finger to touch the pool he made on the bed sheets, “You still made a mess, though” you smirk.

“Well, can you blame me? I was full of it” he grins, his hand still stroking himself slowly.

“Ah i guess that’s alright!” you giggled.

Dutch adjusted himself closer to you now, his cock rubbing and throbbing against your two thighs.

“Open them” he said desperately, “i really need to cum”

You obey and open your thighs slightly to allow him to slide his cock between them. Closing them he immediately starts rocking his hips back and forth, chasing his own orgasm.

“Oh Dutch” you whisper and he just moans desperately, gripping on your hips and rolling his eyes back in pleasure.

“F-fuckk yes” he moans, throbbing insistently.

He sooner begins to cum all over the back of her thighs and the other side of the sheets.

Dutch collapses again, trying to catch his breathe and pulls you close.

“Oh now… now i am fully empty” he said quite breathless, caressing your hair.

“Now, my dearest, what we experienced here was something i always wanted to try. We have a strong connection, strong enough to make me want to mark you as mine the way i did.” He said while continuing on caressing your beautiful hair.

“You can do it again, anytime…” you said.

Dutch looks at you, smirking.

“You are such a good girl. I wonder where else would you let me pee on, maybe next time you’ll let me flood your beautiful tits, or your bare ass… who knows even if you’d allow me to pee inside of all your pretty holes” he groans at the thought, “you looking up at me as I force you to drink it down your throat, what an exciting thought, isn’t it…” he clenches his jaw.

You gulp instinctively, and nod at him.

He thinks for a moment and then raises his eyebrows up.

“Maybe tomorrow i’ll be nastier with you, but for now, let us sleep” he kissed your forehead and pulled you close to his chest,

“Goodnight, darling”.

“Goodnight, my love”

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

“I do think their travel schedule will be restricted and planned around the kids', but hopefully they'll start small and slow - a couple days here and there throughout Europe, then going further and for longer as the kids don't need them to be as hands-on and present.”

Maybe not this section in particular, maybe just the whole vibe of the conversation in regard to the Wales’ work load and how they are seemingly very ‘family first’ made me wonder. What if William’s experience with his own parents, coupled with Catherine’s and his witnessing her family, has shaped his thoughts and feelings, and perhaps he’s gone a bit too far, and is struggling to find balance?

As a parent now, myself coming from a strict set of parents that I couldn’t speak with about my thoughts & feelings, I struggle with balance with my children. I don’t want to be their friends exactly, yet I do want to be a safe place for their thoughts & feelings, should they wish to share them. It’s a fine line with loads of grey at times. And so, I give William a lot of grace here because as parents, it’s sometimes very difficult to know what’s best for the pieces of our hearts wandering around this world.

As well, after reading others speculate on the King tending to be a bit of a jealous type, how much could that play into the work load for William & Catherine?

I'm not sure that it's Charles affecting the Waleses' workload. (I know Mayo just did a reading on it and her cards show there's some kind of dependencies there.)

For me, it really does feel like the Waleses trying to figure it out themselves. Their 'family first' strategy worked really well when the kids were small and William was #3, but they seem to be struggling with how to scale and adapt it as the kids have grown up and William gets closer to the throne. It does feel a bit like as the circumstances of William and Kate's lives/work/roles change and become a little more uncontrollable (e.g., cancer, foreign diplomacy, a lot of travel, changing EU dynamics, etc.), they're holding tighter to what they can control - which is their 'family first' mindset. I don't begrudge them that at all, especially if that's the anchor steadying the children's normalcy in all the changes that have happened the last 5 years. It just doesn't jive with some of the PR that KP puts out about William - for instance, the 'statesman' PR they do whenever he travels abroad. You're not a statesman if all you do is travel twice a year for two or three days at a time. You need to be in meetings, going places, talking to people, being in the room, representing the king at other countries' diplomatic/state events. William isn't there yet for me so I do wish KP would give this "statesman" PR a huge rest until he does more in that regard.

But in a much more larger sense, what William and Kate are dealing with feels more like a "how do you modernize monarchy for the 21st century" kind of strategic question, but I think this is where William and Kate could really lean on their peers - how have Victoria and Daniel made this work? Felipe and Letitia? Frederick and Mary? Willem-Alexander and Maxima? - and kind of crowd-source their way to a solution, with the added knowledge of Kate's early years work. And for all we know, maybe they have asked those questions.

[self-spaghettification]

the theories in my drafts 👁️👁️

the theories i haven’t read 👁️👁️

me the past few weeks😴

me now 🔥🔥

[unriding]

a … a gift from the talented @kruinka 🥹 thank you so much!! ദ്ദി ༎ຶ‿༎ຶ)

[sulky-cabbage]

The sukugo fight can't get animated any sooner I'm craving sukugo tiktok edits

[sofastuffing]

i have a headache

[spaghett-onaplate]

responses to rehearse bc i'm seeing my grandparents tomorrow and they have a tendency to ask weird questions about the whole trans thing:

that's a personal question

that isn't your business

that's a weird thing to ask

you don't need to know that

i never said that

i don't know why you think that

[connormoving]

i think itis funny in the past when i would list my interests as if i post abt them i donot post abt the shit im into rly Mainly bc im not rly Into Into anything anymore i occasionally watch or read or play something but i dont do fandom stuff rly much.... just sometimes i get brainworms

[metalcorebarbie]

it’s my birthday tomorrow, i have no plans and instead of panicking about that i feel okay, which is suspicious and i’m waiting for that ”i feel weird and kind of bad on my birthday” feeling i usually get.

[iridescentis]

i think the reason why i don't read/write my sapphic ships very often is because im just jealous it makes me mad😭

like with guy characters i absolutely adore them and their dynamics but with sapphics its all of that but also like. do yall need a third. im free whenever.

[lesbiansanemi]

I have started to accept I am a bit more (re a lot more) psychologically unstable than I thought for a long time and man…. I’m tired of it