toji being all bundled up in his winter coat with a pretty green scarf around his neck (that you gifted him btw). his nose is red and his cheeks even redder as he taps his foot on the crunchy snow. he's waiting for you.
with his hands stuffed into his pockets, he hides from the cold bite while eyeing the passersby with furrowed brows, and even though the scarf hides the lower half of his face, you know he's wearing a sort of scowl. it's closer to a pout more than anything, but you won't mention it. his ears perk up at the sound of your voice calling his name and you feel warm at the sight of his face lighting up just a bit. it's cute. it's cute that he's so excited to see you.
he meets you halfway, his hands reaching for you as you close the distance between you. it's a quiet greeting, a very simple 'hi' accompanied by his scarred lips pressing against your temple as you hug him. in his arms, you feel safe. you feel at home. when he pulls away, he takes a second to look at you – the stars in your eyes, the bashful smile on your lips. toji thinks you look pretty as ever.
but his cute little daydream doesn't last.
a gasp makes its way out of the depths of his throat the second your hands cup his face, your frozen fingers sending shivers down his back.
the look on his face makes you giggle and the sound makes him furrow his brows again in return. he clicks his tongue. "you'll freeze to death."
"you'll save me."
he shakes his head with a sigh but takes your hands into his nonetheless. while keeping his, now very determined, eyes on your fingers, he brings them up to his face and gently blows warm air on them.
you hum. "my saviour."
the tips of his ears burn – his nose, his cheeks, but surely it's just because of the cold and because of his teasing lover. surely.
you see the grin he's so desperately trying to hold back and laugh at him once more. "my hero."
he grumbles. "be quiet."
he's still holding your hands, he's still warming them up. there isn't even an inkling of thought about letting you go, about letting your poor little fingers freeze. he will hold onto you for the entirety of the walk that's ahead of you. so he can keep you warm. and not because he so desperately wants to hold your fucking hand. it's not that. no way.
you lean up your toes while intertwining your fingers with his, and with no questions asked, he bends over to close the gap between you again. this is how it works. love.
a pair of cold lips meet the tip of his nose and toji lets his eyes fall shut at the sweet touch. he lets out a relieved sigh, a content one, and savours the way you smile against him. a kiss, and then another. a haste one to his lips before pulling back with that very same grin on your face that he adores so much. the kind of playful one, the one that tells him that you're going to be throw snowballs at him very soon. he loves it.
"are you going to get hot chocolate with me today, toji?"
he lets your glued together hands fall, only for you to start swinging them side to side. he doesn't tell you to stop.
"no."
"liar."
toji rolls his eyes, tonguing at his inner cheek as he does so.
"with marshmallows."
he loves you.
"with marshmallows."
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{note: hi hi, this was pretty intimidating to write. To open the blank document, was scary enough. after two years, attempting to write more than 1k words was not easy, so to speak. i'd recommend listening to smth that gets in your feels as you read this, if you can. this was based on this ask. hopefully, whoever wanted me to tag them in this, like it.}
warnings: none. husband! toji x wife! reader. maybe 0.1% of suggestiveness. fluff i guess? i'll let you be the judge of it.
w.c: 2.05k
tags: @jkumiplace @snowprincesa1 @idreamitski @shokosprincess hope you all like it :)
When you feel the world caving in, unknowingly, we push everyone around us away. Self isolation, a very tempting idea, to give into. Or you’re just in your luteal phase? Whatever the reason might be, you’re feeling what you would mostly probably write off as “I don’t know”. You slump down into the couch, staring at the moving pictures on the screen. Your husband works a rather unconventional job, a sorcerer killer. Right, unconventional is an understatement, putting himself in danger, but you too. You’re sitting there blankly, waiting for him to be home, it’s been 10 days since you last saw him.
You jolt and sit up,at the sharp sound of the door bell. It is 11pm on a Tuesday night, who would show up at such a time?Your husband, Toji, of course. You run up to the front door, opening the door. And, there is the man you love, you adore, who you married. “You’re still up?..” He walks past you, entering the apartment. You close the door behind him and turn, “I couldn’t sleep… '' you mumble. “Is there any dinner? I’m famished” he said, placing his duffel bag on the floor beside the couch. Your eyebrows twitch, where is the usual hug he gives you after coming home to you? where is the “i missed you so much?” ‘Why aren’t his eyes meeting mine? what’s with this sudden chang—‘ your thoughts are stopped in the tracks as his low timbre snaps you back into the present “I’m asking… is there dinner or not? Did you cook something for me?..” he sighs, walking into the bedroom that you both share. "What's with this ne— No, these days, he’s been taking more and more from me, it seems like I mean nothing—’ you shake your head, to stop yourself from jumping into conclusions. He comes back into the kitchen after washing up. You hate how, despite how you’re annoyed at his new change in behavior, you still find him attractive. The smell of after shave lotion, filling the air as he walks past you, drying his hair with a small towel. The way his wet raven black hair sticks to his forehead and neck. Maybe absence does make the heart fonder. Is it only for you or— you flinch as he taps on the counter. “Back to earth, hmm?” You sigh softly, placing a plate on the dining table, serving him dinner. He quickly eats, your mind drifting back to “Why isn’t he talking? Where is his usual grumble about work, Where—” you look at him, as the chair’s legs scratch the floor as he gets up after finishing dinner.
Small, unsettling feeling pooling in the pit of your stomach. Almost, two years into this marriage, what’s this new sliver crack in a perfectly nice mirror? That is how it feels, right now. A small crack, a splinter, or is it just miscommunication?
‘Communication is the key to a healthy relationship’ they say, they only say. To actually follow and practice that? Humans are selfish beings at the end of the day. You know, asking and talking it out with him would be right. Yet here you are, grueling all by yourself.
The human mind is a wretched, wretched thing, at times. In the name of protecting you, thousands of scenarios pop into your mind like bubbles, ranging to all extremities. That’s quite laughable, you know, you’re not these thoughts; but intrusive thoughts? on the other hand are quite convincing, aren’t they? Like a creeper vine which holds on to anything for support, thoughts creep in, stifling and clouding your judgment. Unbeknownst to you, or to your conscious mind, the history of Toji’s relationships flood in, adultery? cheating? lost feelings for you? What if he doesn’t love you anymore?. The sound of silence is too loud, you find yourself still in the kitchen mindlessly watching dishes while he peacefully sleeps, scrunching and fitting himself in a couch, which is tiny for him. Your eyes fall upon his face, now that you’re quite some feet away from him, if you weren’t there in his life, would he still fall asleep like this?
Slowly the realization kicks in that, you still haven’t washed the dishes. You scamper around the kitchen, cleaning it up. Finally, walking towards the couch, you press a soft kiss on his forehead. Maybe you assumed too much? But you love him more than that, finally you decide to head to bed.
Next morning, you thought it would be way better, since he’d be well rested. Is that really the case? Toji is up, watching the morning news, lazily skipping through some channels, he sees you come into the living room “Morning~ I’d like some coffee..” his eyes return back to screen, before you could reply to his greeting. This takes a huge toll on you, such indifference wasn’t something you were used to, especially from Toji. Morning becomes Afternoon becomes Evening, still Toji hasn’t given you any sort of attention.
Things are slightly taking a turn, is it for the worse or better? You completely become dismissive to his behavior and start giving him the cold shoulder. Any requests that come your way, from him, are mostly answered by nodding or a mumble of “Okay” “No”. Toji notices this sudden, well not sudden, but gradual decline in your usual enthusiasm, and touchiness. He wanted to ask, but he gave you space since you might be just moody. He shrugs it off. Despite this little coldness and frozen atmosphere in your house, time still goes on, night falls, and bedtime is here. You sit on the edge of the bed. Toji is also in the room now. Four walls, two people, one bed, and a thousand misunderstandings.
“Communication is the key” You know it at heart, but being petty is what you want to do now. Yes, it’s childish, immature, stupid, whatnot. Although, it is necessary now. You’ve given, given, and given, that your own cup is empty. As the saying goes “water is soft, but it cuts through rocks” has never been so true, until now. “Toji.” your tone is so sharp breaking this chilling, uncomfortable silence between you two. He immediately turns his head towards you, in surprise “Hm?..”. You gulp down, gathering up your courage to voice out what you've been feeling, what you’ve been wanting, and most of all, to know whether this relationship still has a chance?
“I- I” your breaths are more deliberate, slow, and steady, to compose yourself. “I’ve been… feeling a little too weird these days..”. He nods, listening to you intently, as he’s never seen you this serious before. “Yes, You seem on the edge these days… especially ever since I came back.”
You grit your teeth slightly at his calm tone, this calmness is what you like about him, but right now, this is what is setting you off, “Can you stop being so nonchalant all the goddamn time?” you lash out, but in times of anger, we don’t even acknowledge how we do things, what we extremely dislike, just as right now. “Toji, you— Do you take me for granted?! I can only give so much, but what am I getting from you? Past month, I’ve been completely, utterly, feeling used by you… Am I just one of the girls… like the ones from the past?..”. Toji’s string of patience breaks at the last line, not even at you calling him out, but comparing yourself to the one-night stands and hookups he had in his distant past. He clenches his jaw, and breathes out, calming down a little. Since you’re more sensitive, he tries to be as gentle as possible “Baby, That’s not true you know. Why would you compare yourself to women like that? You’re way more precious and you’re definitely not like them to me. You’re my wife…. listen—”
“Baby?” you mutter to yourself. “Toji, when.. you went on this mission, actually all missions before this one.. did you miss me? did you even think of me?… OR did you… turn back to your … old ways?…” That was enough, the last line. Toji is taken back, you could see the disbelief on his face. The silence is even more heavy. The words uttered in anger are so vicious, they kill people without actually killing them. “Wh-What did you just say?…” he croaks out, his nonchalance breaking away, being vulnerable as you hit such a wounded part of him. “You heard me clearly.” you knew you were being a bit too much, you knew that all too well, but this is what being petty means right? Once in a while, it is okay. Humans are rational beings? Never, just because we have one sense more than animals, doesn’t mean we aren’t rational than them. We are impulsive too.
Toji stares dead into your eyes, you grit your teeth, not to lack composure. But, that’s not who you are. You love him way too much, get excited each time you see him, way too clingy, your love, your heart, everything says one name, every single day. In a crowd of men, you’d choose him over and over again. Tears slowly roll down your cheeks, in vain attempts to hold them back, they run down in streams. He, no matter how angry, can’t see you cry, see you weep like this. He walks over to you, and you take a step back. “I… I’m sorry.. I didn’t mean to get mad.. or push you away.. These days this job is getting to me.. I don’t really feel like doing this anymore. I can’t stay away for weeks, without seeing you. Not only does it put me in danger, which I don't mind, but I’m putting you too. So that’s been on my mind a lot, sorry… I wasn’t being a good husband... I— I have no excuses..”
Your heart sinks, it’s true he wasn't as close as used to be for a month. The way he takes the blame for himself, all that plus his vulnerability about the job, shakes you up a bit. “I know you need space, I’ll be in the living room. I’m so sorry, ba—by”
The door swiftly closed behind him, you sat down on the bed. Taking in what has happened over the past one hour. After some time alone you slowly get up, making your way to the living room. You see Toji, lying down on the couch, legs hanging out, feet swinging slightly. You look down at him, then get on top of him, laying your head on his chest; snuggling into his chest. He wraps his big, warm arms around you, pulling you closer. The way his embrace still feels the same, the whiff of his cologne, mixed with his personal scent is so comforting. You nuzzle further into the crook of his neck. “I’m sorry” you softly say. He presses a kiss on top of your head, his warm hand rubbing up and down your back. A few minutes into the hug, you look up into his eyes “Toji.. what’s that I feel on my thigh?..” He looks away from you “It’s been more than a month, you know. And being this close to you… it’s natural..” he mumbles, the tips of his ears turning red. You smile, burying your face back into his chest. “I love you” you whisper. “I know,” he says, smirking. You pinch his bicep “Ow, okay, okay… I love you the most, you know” he chuckles. “By the way… I got my period” you giggle. He pulls you in again, resting his chin on top of your head. He squeezes you gently, basking in this warm embrace, your hearts beating against each other’s chest, slowly syncing up with the other. You both drift off to peaceful slumber, after a long time. Your presence in Toji’s life was akin to the presence of the warmth of sunshine, on a cold winter’s day. You both found each other at the right time, after dating for some time, now married for almost two years. You’re all he could ever ask for. “To love and to be loved in return”, is what he wants, and he has it now. You.
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