#specifically with 3PO

[chyarui]

Commander Wolffe, no introduction needed.

I had so much fun with his tattoos, if you couldn’t tell. After Fox’s depressing ones and Cody’s cute but simple one, I needed to go all out with Wolfy boy’s tat. Honestly, this man deserves a cool tattoo after having to deal with the torture of interacting with C-3PO. I could FEEL his annoyance through the screen (that sassy fucking eyeroll I swear you could feel it though his helmet)

[thermalprinter]

I found this pen at the book store... It's C-3PHO.....

[lightasthesun]

mansplain, manipulate, malewife, manwhore

or

Wolffe, Fox, Bly and Cody

[skywalkr-nberrie]

Ah yes, my favourite genre of Anidala has always and will forever remain the two of them flirting with one another in front of literally everyone.

Whether it be Yoda and OWK.

Or Padmé’s handmaiden.

Even in broad daylight. (Specifically in front of Rex and Ahsoka.)

Dire situations where they’re being held captive alongside other prisoners…

For God’s sake, at least show some restraint in front of Sith Lord Palpatine, Mace, and the Queen of Naboo, you guys �� c’mon!

Bonus:

OW not being above noticing how well Padmé knows her way around ANAKIN’S Twilight…

I ain’t even need to say anything for this one 😂

I’ll just end it by saying “poor 3PO and Jar Jar.”

[kingofmyborrowedheart]

Working on this piece for class and am currently trying to figure out whether or not R2-D2 is a gender-less being and what R2-D2’s preferred pronouns are.

[tossawary]

I don't have any solid ships for Luke Skywalker (I'm willing to be persuaded by any author bringing their best, though) and I think it's partially because Luke is such a vital part of the HanLeia ship to me.

My favorite part of HanLeia as a ship is honestly perhaps that Chewie and Luke (and C-3PO and R2-D2, of course) are Also There, just chilling, just hanging out. A chorus of tiebreakers to be ignored by Han and Leia as they please. "This is the love of my life, and that's my/her brother, Luke, and that's his/my partner, Chewie."

I like to think that Han and Leia cannot fully agree on who brought Luke with them into this relationship, though. Luke IS Leia's twin brother, yes, the other half of her soul. However, Han's argument is that Leia didn't actually KNOW that for years and HE'S the one who drove Luke into this Rebellion mess in the first place, Leia didn't send that initial message to Luke specifically. Han is being VERY stubborn about this just, like, because he can be. It's fun.

[hollowtones]

I remember you mentioning a childhood fear of the inspector gadget movie from 1999 and C-3PO, did the movie bicentennial man (also 1999) have any similar effect on you? The Robin Williams robot seems like it was developed in a lab specifically to scare young Holly.

You just reawakened a very specific memory of me being deathly afraid of Robin Williams for a few weeks (month?s?) as a kid because of posters for that movie. Thanks!

[palfriendpatine66]

Woke up to Owen Lars thoughts. Specifically re: C-3PO.

Our guy Owen has avoided owning a droid for 20+ years because they remind him of Shmi. He’s had to deal with the Jawas the whole time and knows it would go a hell of a lot better with a translator, but every time he thinks about getting a protocol droid he thinks about Shmi. About how she doted on that insufferably annoying droid because it was her last connection to her son. And he decides he can go another year relying on gestures and paying more than the parts he’s getting are worth.

But now he only has Luke’s help for one more harvest and he’s not getting any younger - his joints ache more and more with each sandstorm - and he decides it’s time to face his ghosts. He can’t avoid reminders of the past forever. He sends Luke for some droids.

And the boy comes back with C3P0

The droid doesn’t look the same - he’s been treated to some upgrades over the years and some fancy gold plating they couldn’t have afforded to give him - but he gives his designation and it’s not just a similar robotic voice dragging up memories that both haunt Owen and remind him of better times. But it’s him, without a doubt. C-3PO human cyborg relations. Shmi’s most prized possession. Returned back to her home and final resting place, back to the last piece of her son.

To Luke.

And when the stormtroopers break down the door and pour in, he has a moment of pure relief that Luke isn’t home. That this time it won’t be a Skywalker’s body found broken in the desert.

He should have known. An R2 unit had rolled up and interrupted Shmi’s humble funeral and Anakin had swept away to whatever dangers waited for him in the stars. He’d brought the two droids with him and the Lars were left to mourn and heal and carry on under the harsh suns. They looked after themselves and weathered the heat and the sand like everything else that was born, and fated to die, in the desert.

But not Luke. Luke wasn’t born on Tatooine, even though the boy has the desert in his blood. Owen sees the same relief written in Beru’s eyes as he takes her hand. Luke isn’t going to die here.

He has the stars in his blood too.

Owen just hopes the boy will meet a better end than his father. That his story won’t end so soon.

[dearanakin]

trust you | anakin skywalker: episode VI

Summary: You and Anakin have been paired to attend an event on the Jedi Temple, all because Poe Dameron insisted. The Jedi seems unprepared for the outcome of being in the spotlight, and you're faced with his vulnerabilities for the first time. (Ps: This is exactly how I imagine him during a specific scene from this chapter 🥺)

Warnings: vulgar language (as always), panic attack

Word count: 4.8k

----

Anakin:

As soon as we landed on Coruscant, we were all warmly welcomed by every person who had been waiting for us to come back from our mission. We were greeted by the engineers, other Jedi and even a few Droids, which celebrated Artoo's return as well.

I tried my best to not cringe at every hug or every handshake someone pulled at me, but I didn't want to look like a dick any more than I already do. So, I just nodded and gave them a smile before heading towards Luke and C-3PO who were waiting for me expectantly.

I rushed to my son, and he quickly pulled himself at me and wrapped his legs around my waist, slightly squeezing me with his small arms. "Hey, bud. It's good to see you".

Luke pulls back and looks at me with a big smile and I see how his big blue eyes sparkle with happiness. "You're back, dad. I wanna know everything. Did you fight the bad man? Did you shoot him? Did they die?".

His bombardment made me laugh as I shook my head from the amused remarks he made. I pull him back for another hug and feel him clinging to my neck, I could feel his energy seeping through my body. It made me feel immediately relieved from being back again.

Luke drops himself from my grip and holds my hand, looking back at the commotion that was still happening in the hangar. People were cheering for (Y/N) and Cal, exchanging hugs as Poe watched with his arms crossed against his chest. He's not really well known around the Temple, but he nods with a grin when people compliment and greet him.

I feel the little boy giving my hand a squeeze, making my eyes dart to him. "Can I go hug Miss (Y/N)? I've heard she was on the mission as well".

My throat suddenly tightened and I tried too hard to swallow. I keep looking at him like it was a hard decision to make. It didn't strike me that he would like to welcome her at all. Not after telling him many times he shouldn't be too close to anyone I didn't trust. And matter-of-factly, the little bastard loves to do the opposite as I say sometimes. My face falters and I give him an apologetic look.

"But dad, everyone is hugging her. I wanna give her a hug too!" His words stung, they felt like a stab on an open wound.

"They're all friends, buddy. We're not her friends, remember?" I crouch down to his level, trying to reason as my hand rests over his shoulder. Luke frowns over my words and Goodness Sake, I swear I can see disappointment.

"That's because you don't want me to be friends with her. I already told you she's nice to me!" He shoots an angry glare at me and diverts from my grip. Seconds later, he's running towards the group of people around the others.

I stand up huffing, shoving my hand over hair pulling the strands feeling on edge. This little shit always goes against my rules and it pisses me off. But I'm never one to punish him, for some reason it doesn't feel right to do that. My mother never did that to me either way.

Behind me, 3PO mumbled something pretty incoherent and it sounded muffled. My eyes roamed through the hangar, they landed on a shadow standing across the area. I couldn't see much from the distance, but I sensed the presence and it felt like I'd seen it before. My stomach tied to a knot and I felt the blood rising to my head. Suddenly I felt a pressure in my chest, my feet wouldn't move.

I tried to sprint to the other side of the hangar, not daring to look away from the person standing on the corner of the wall. I decided to run after them, but by the time I got there, I was met with nothing. I blinked a few times, trying to adjust my sight and making sure it wasn't some kind of illusion, or a trick. I still had this feeling on my body that I knew who it was, but couldn't actually pinpoint it.

My heart was racing and hammering against my ribcage. I felt my blood pressure pick up as though I was having a heart attack. I couldn't just breathe decently, and I had to lean against the wall for support otherwise I'd drop to the floor and embarrass myself.

After a few minutes trying to calm down, my feet dragged me into the small group of people who were just having a conversation after celebrating our return. I watched as Poe was sitting on the floor talking to Luke. I swear to God this boy loves to make acquaintances with every person he sees. I'm not sure it's exactly a good idea to let him get to know other people, but I let him this time, he seemed pretty involved.

I shifted my sight and was met with Cal and (Y/N) laughing over something they were talking about. She glanced at me for a slight second, enough for me to catch her eyes before she returned her gaze to her friend. It felt different, weird to look at her after what happened back there. She didn't seem too frightened like she did before we went out on the mission.

Before we landed, Poe had invited us for a drink later that day. I tried to refuse many times, but he made sure he would convince me to go so I would get rid of my "grumpy face". I really wanted to go back to my place and get some rest, spend time with my son, and get some distraction. I just wasn't the biggest fan of going to the bar and drinking, nor do I like to interact with other people like I did before. It's plain boring to me.

-

I ended up going to the bar with Dameron, who also invited (Y/N) and Cal, obviously. Not only I didn't have the greatest time of my life, but I also had to deal with him asking (Y/N) to be my plus one at this sort of event the Temple was making.

And here I was, sitting next to her at our table for six. Cal was sitting across from us, his bored expression radiating through the place. He had a friend beside him, who was having a conversation with the nerd next to me. Motherfucking Poe was happily sipping on his glass of water, nodding to his sister.

I kept fidgeting my fingers under the table, not really interested in being at one of these events where they praise people for doing their work. In fact, I consider this such bullshit, given that we are all fighters out there. Kestis would constantly look at me like he wants to choke me to death, and I'm sure he just about planned the entire thing.

"So" Poe's sister spoke up, we all whipped our heads waiting for a response. "When did you and Skywalker start dating?"

The man next to her almost choked on his water, clearing his throat.

"What?" My eyebrows shot up in confusion and I could hear the crack in my voice. "We're not- She's not my-"

"We aren't really-" I heard (Y/N) speak up at the same time, sensing her nervousness.

"These two?" Cal chimed in simultaneously, and I glanced at him, knowing the bitterness in his tone. With a sly smirk on his face, he shook his head in amusement. "They literally hate each other".

The expression plastered over Dameron's face, I recognized he didn't know where exactly my relationship with her stands. His sister was as surprised as he was, while the dumbass sitting in front of me seemed to be having fun.

"Shut up, Cal" (Y/N) seethed through gritted teeth. "I'm sorry, he likes to make up things just for his entertainment".

Is he lying, though? I wasn't the biggest fan of hers, and I surely didn't want to be at this fucking event sitting next to her. Especially if I have to face Cal on the other end of the table.

She gave Poe's sister a forced smile, clearing her throat. "We're not together. Your brother paired us for the event, but that's about it".

I shot him daggers, my eyebrows still knitted together. I'm going to have a fucking headache from this conversation. The pilot lifted his hands in surrender as his face flushed red.

"Hey, I didn't know that either. If anything, I thought they were together" He explained, pointing his index finger between (Y/N) and Cal.

It's not like it's debatable, their friendship is somewhat too strong, and they always look at each other as if they're in love. Maybe I'm seeing things the wrong way, but I'm sure Kestis definitely feels passionate about her.

Now, at least I was having some fun. The redhead in front of me blushed, his lips pursed and he huffed. I felt (Y/N) shift beside me and shove her forehead over her hand, running the fingers through her hair.

"No one is dating anybody, Poe" He seemed to be having a hard time coming up with words, I watched as Cal tried to get rid of his hoarse voice while taking a sip of his water.

"Oh, really? You always seem pretty close" I push, receiving a warning glance from him. The curve of my lips pull into a smile and I tilt my head, faking my reaction.

"No. We're just really good friends" Cal clenches his jaw and I can feel his hands turn into fists besides his body under the table.

"Then why are you blushing?" I hear myself egging him, feeling his stare burn into me. Before he could speak up again, his friend cut him off.

"Okay, let's go get something to eat!" She stood up from her chair, grabbing him by his forearm. Kestis was pissed at me by the way his eyebrows were frowning and his hands were still closed.

I wiggle my fingers as I wave at him, watching as both of them disappear through the crowd of people dancing and conversing. I noticed (Y/N) was staring at me in shock, eyes widened and arms crossed over her chest.

"You're such a dick!" She protests before leaving the table, snapping the napkin over her empty plate.

This is just great, things are going exactly how I imagined they would. Like shit, as always.

"Wow, this is like a second-hand embarrassment table" Poe muttered with a nervous chuckle.

"This was your idea!" I angrily point at him with my robotic arm and he swats it away, rolling his eyes.

"Nope, my idea was to try to have some fun. Catch up and spend time together. The 'being a jerk' idea was all yours" He playfully smiles as he taps me on my shoulder. I shrug him off, fuming.

"Fuck off" I get up from my seat and walk over the hall of the Temple. From a distance, I can see the kids playing with the nurse Droids and a few Padawans as well. At least someone is having decent fun in this fucking place.

I wander through the numerous groups of people talking, while they eat their dinner and sip their drinks. They're smiling at each other, laughing and enjoying themselves. This is why I hate this kind of event, forcing myself to get here every time and watch as they all look at me like I'm some kind of superhero. Deep, I know. They only get to see my shell, my outer behavior. No one can see or know what really happens inside my head, what I feel in my body.

They can sense the somewhat darkness seeping through my blood vessels, but I don't let anyone feel more than that. Not the intrusive thoughts, not the grieving or the sorrow, or even the hatred. I had to create a shield to protect myself from having empathy and it comes with the price of seeing people distance themselves from me. I watch as they look at me with fear, they avoid looking at me.

I'm still not convinced my team trusts me completely, but they never showed me otherwise. I've had Cal as my wingman for a couple of years now and we never really had arguments over the time, just now it seemed like I've crossed some lines when I confronted (Y/N). He's not the first person to hate my guts right now, and he sure won't be the last either. Neither will she, for a fact.

I found her leaving the ladies room just in time when she was met with my eyes roaming around the area, looking for her. (Y/N) shifted her gaze when she noticed my glance. From her demeanor, I realized she was trying to get rid of me, shoving herself among the people as she tried to blend in. My feet were quick to follow her, trying not to knock everyone down while I swimmed through the crowd. Jesus, I wouldn't take her for someone who can run that fast without having a regular exercising routine.

My hand grazed her wrists, aiming for her waist instead. The mere touch burned my skin, it was foreign after so long. It was completely odd for me to hold someone - a woman - by the waist. She turned over, trying to shove my hands off of her, not being strong enough for my fingers to slip.

"Let me go, Skywalker. Or I'll scream!" (Y/N) tried to stand at least an arm span from me. Her small hands eagerly held mine as she still struggled to get rid of my hold.

"Hey, calm down now. Let me talk for just a minute" I lowered my chin and showed some empathy before she decided to lose it and make a scene.

"I think you've said enough for today" She didn't move her hands from mine. I could feel (Y/N) was having a difficult time trusting me after the stunt I pulled, her eyes were squinted and her forehead was crinkled with annoyance.

I rolled my eyes, knowing I wasn't in the right for making excuses. I just wanted to have my fun with the guy, I didn't do any harm to him. "Look- I'm... sorry. I was an ass, I recognize that and I didn't mean to make you feel embarrassed".

Her expression dropped a little, but I can see she was going to be sarcastic. She was chuckling, looking at me with taunting in her eyes. "You really had me there, Anakin. For a moment I wasn't sure you had the word "sorry" in your vocabulary".

And then, the next second, (Y/N) went back to the previous angry look, shoving both of my hands from her waist. I rolled my eyes before letting out a groan as I scratched the back of my neck. "Why make this hard and just say you don't want my apology?".

She places one hand over her waist, while pinching her chin with the other. I swear to God, I barely have any patience for this kind of game. "Huh, come to think of it, I might actually just forgive you. The way you're grimacing, it must have been really hard for you to say that word".

I watch her send me a small smile before turning on her back, walking back to our table. I must be a really bad person if people think I can't just apologize when I do something wrong.

Before I even consider taking another step, I hear my name being shot out from the small stage. Here we go again with the show. Master Yoda was sitting down on a stool, holding a microphone in his tiny green hand, waving for me to come over.

Shit.

I forced a smile, feeling everyone's eyes burn into my back as I walked towards him, immediately balling my hands into fists from instinct of self protection. I might as well have social anxiety if that's even a thing. I stood there in front of dozens of people, some were clapping their hands, some were whistling and then there was Cal, who was definitely not even masking the way his eyes were rolling.

There was a speech, which I didn't manage to listen to. I was too busy keeping my eyes on Luke as he looked at me with a sparkle in his eyes, probably proud of his father for being there. Like I'm a motherfucking God. I'm sure this place belonged to Obi-Wan more than anything, although it was obvious he would go against it just like me. Whatever Yoda was yapping about just about sounded muffled to me, and I wish I could just kill myself.

"To the bravest Jedi Master, here is to" He celebrates, extending his little arms to me as he holds a fucking medal. "Proud of you, we all are".

I hear the claps again, the cheering and the warming celebration right above my eyes. But I don't feel it, I don't agree with all the adoration and admiration. My head whips to where Luke stands, he's jumping around and celebrating his own father. My own eyes glint with gratitude for having him next to me. He's my anchor, the angel sent from heaven to help me stay whole.

"I- Uh- Thank you for the support..." I heave as I feel a lump in my throat. "But I don't think I deserve this. I'm not sure it's good enough for me" My voice barely comes out, my hands are trembling as I hold the microphone with one, while the other grips the medal.

There's silence and shuffling around the hall. I'm sure Kestis would stand up and just scream saying I suck. But it never came. In fact, the only sound echoing through the room was from running feet. When I came to realize, my boy was standing right in front of me, holding the hem of my blazer. I look down at him, there's a frown on his face and it hits me. I disappointed my child too.

"But you're the bravest Jedi Master, dad! Everyone says you're the chosen one, you deserve it" He goes through his sentence nodding at every word he says. "You're a good person, daddy. We are proud of you".

I stare at him with my jaw slack and my mind spiraling, going blank as the words freeze in my mouth. The moment I take in everything he just said, my body can't help but keep completely stagnant. Yoda protests again, saying his last words as if he agrees with Luke, but it's hard to focus on my surroundings. I just step out of this torture and get a hold of the boy, pulling him into a hug as he wraps himself around my torso.

Even with my body feeling tense, closing my eyes didn't make a difference at this point. I squinted them shut as much as I could, clinging to Luke as if it was the last thing I had to do. It still wasn't enough for me to shake off the draining feeling, nor was I able to avoid listening to the murmuring as they went back to what they were doing. My hands were still shaking and feeling numb, my eyes shooting up immediately.

I clear my throat, pulling away from him just enough to speak. It came out hoarse and strangled. "I'll be right back, alright? Get back to your friends".

My blurry vision sent a shockwave through my body and I stiffened, every cell shooting an alarming feeling straight to my brain. I shake my head, trying to make sense of what's in front of me but everything seems too distorted. My boots heavily drag me out of there, leading me to a corner where no one would bother or ask questions about me. It becomes too hard to walk, my fingertips graze the wall like it was soap, slipping through it, and I can hear my blood pumping so loud that everything else becomes a haze.

I walk into a small room, which was probably a janitor's room, dropping to my knees as soon as I close the door behind me. My first instinct is to punch the wall, release the nerves stuck on me. I can feel the sweat dripping down my neck and my forehead, my hair sticking to the damp skin. The blazer and tunic are suffocating me and I have to force myself to undress before it gets harder to breathe. I groan when I notice the numbness over my body, my heart rate quickly picking up. I pace around the small room, breaking and throwing anything I see in front of me.

Just let it out, Skywalker. It will go away. It has to.

"You're so... fucking... ridiculous!" I say to myself as I keep walking in circles, kicking and punching. My airways become smaller each breath I take and I start wheezing.

"You're lame, Anakin. Fucking. Lame" My hands fly up to my face and I start smacking myself on the forehead for reassurance.

For a second, I lean against the small shelf in front me. I can feel something shift inside of me, my eyes became extremely dry and it burned. I snapped out of my thoughts when the door - which I could've sworn was locked - opened. (Y/N) stood there, shocked to see me like that.

She doesn't even take the hint, rather than just walks in and locks the door with both of us inside the small room.

"Anakin, what's wrong?" She looks at me, worried and scared. Her hands hesitantly reach out to my arms, but I grab her wrists before they touch me.

"What the hell are you doing here?" My tone was husky from the whisper screaming and from the anger.

She shifted her eyes between mine and my trembling hands gripping her. I could still barely see, my eyelids were twitching and they felt too heavy.

"Your- your eyes" (Y/N) motioned her hands, pulling them back, placing them over her mouth. "You're-"

My knees gave out before I could fucking yell at her again. I groaned so loud that it was deafening this time, my hands pulled my hair from the roots. The hot tears started to prick and I tried to blink them away. "Get out, now!"

I felt her startle next to me, taking a step back, and it was enough for me to get myself distant from her. I didn't need anyone seeing me like this, especially her. With my eyes closed and my fists clenching hard, I sit down and lean against the wall. I rest my elbows against my knees and shove my head back against the wall multiple times.

"Go away! Go away! Go away!" I scream out, my throat burning from the action and my head throbbing from the bashing.

"Anakin! Look at me, now. Please, it's just me" She speaks through a wavering voice. I feel one of her hands resting against my flesh one, the warmth spreading through my skin.

The touch always burned, it didn't feel repelling, it just felt awkward. Strange. It was hard to accept the gesture.

I shook my head for what felt like an entire minute, my mouth mumbling incoherent words and I still leaned against the wall. Her hand hovered over my jawline and I immediately clenched it, my arm instinctively shot upwards to grab her forearm and she yelped from the sudden action. "It's okay, Anakin. No one knows".

Slowly my eyes opened to meet her face standing inches from me, respecting the distance even though her hand was barely touching my face. The gears in my head started working against my will, my nose flared in rage and I immediately wrapped her throat around my metal hand. I stood right up, pushing her against the wall as she choked with the impact. Her hands gripped my arm with mercy, she tried to gasp for air as she tried to speak.

I didn't feel guilty, I didn't feel sympathetic, I didn't feel anything. All I could see right now was red and I could tell my eyes were bloodshot from how angry I was. And then her behavior shifted again by the way she was looking at me, she was panicking. She couldn't look at me just like she was doing seconds ago. I tilt my head and release her, but not fast enough to catch her before she drops to the floor on her knees. I can feel it now. I know that feeling.

The panic attacks almost never came with the deadly feeling of snapping someone's neck. And now I know why I feel the way I just did. The darkness I've been told about too many times before. If you let it in, you can't control it. It's been dormant for years, I know I feel it coming to the surface when I can't control my own emotions. This time, it was finally reaching out to the surface and breaking out of it. I stepped out and walked backwards until my back hit the wall again, watching as she stood on her feet.

"Anakin-"

I swallow the enormous pain in my throat. "You need to go". She struggled to disagree, her head shaking hesitantly. My chest was heaving, everything hurts and I'm still feeling numb as fuck. "Just go!"

It took me that long to finally break down and I did right in front of her. In front of someone I so much despised for failing to do her job and now I'm paying for being exactly who I promised myself I would be. The pain in my stomach was nauseating and I had to slump down against the wall, this time not giving a fuck I looked like a crying baby. I had too much in my head already.

She tried to hold my chin up to face her, and I watched as her hand stayed frozen only a few inches before she decided against it and carefully gripped my skin. (Y/N) stares at my soul intently, eyes roaming through my face as I hold back the urge of grunting.

"It's okay, it's not the time to be tough. I know I'm not your favorite person right now but let me help you" She tries to coax in a soothing voice.

I have the hardest time getting myself to react, as my body is still struggling against the episode I just had. I want to push her away, I want to swat her hand away from me, I hate that I feel too vulnerable to avoid any physical contact. I just can't. "I'm bad. I'm so bad" I rasp.

I can't even speak. I feel my throat burning, my skin burning, my lung burning. Every inch of my body feels like it's on fire. And I can't fight against it this time. She withdraws her hand from my face, sliding it against my robotic hand, closing it tightly. "Hey, you need to fight against it. You're still you".

I shake my head in disbelief and let out a gruff laugh. I haven't been myself in six years. I just work through it so I won't lose it. Everyday is a battle against the darkening feeling just for the sake of Luke's life, because he doesn't deserve that kind of father. He doesn't even deserve this father. "You don't know shit about me".

I expect her to back up and leave, but she stays crouched on my eye level, still gripping my hand. Her lips are pursed in a thin line, and her irises are boring into mine. I recognize that look, she's trying to figure me out, I shut it down and drop my head. "Stop it".

"They were yellow" She said in a whisper, and I shot my head up again. "Your eyes. They were-"

"I know... I've seen it happen before, once" I try to not make a big deal out of it, but there's only so much I can do about that. Because I know I can't avoid it from happening anymore.

"I'm not good. I'm not good for anyone" My confession almost came out as a sob. This time, I couldn't handle the stress and I couldn't even think about what I was going to do after what happened.

She's going to see me as a joke, as a pussy man who gets medals for being the bravest Jedi Master, while behind closed doors, he falls to his knees and cries his sorrows.

I'm not the Jedi I should be.

@jackie-on-the-loose @adorbzliz @himesuedi @kingdomhate @himesuedi @cl0esblogg @littlecoffeeadict @readingthingsonhere

[grumfield]

I’m interested what your personal sexuality characters for the SW characters—both PT and OT.

ok

Prequels: Anakin is a “hole is hole” guy. Obi-Wan is a homosexual who yearns for sodomy. Padmé is straight but specifically the kind of straight girl who poses extremely homoerotically with other girls for photos. Qui-Gon labels himself heteroflexible and has threesomes but only with women. Dooku is an old Shakespearean theater gay. Palpatine I don’t know he’s either into kink without sex or is one of those guys from Crash 1996 but regardless definitely is willing to pull Griffith Berserk fucking that old guy level moves to get political capital. Sabé is a lesbian but weird about it (i think she would screw a guy Padmé screwed to feel closer to her). All the other handmaidens are lesbian as a job. Idk Mace Windu but probably straight and he strikes me as the kind of guy to ghost but very politely like leave breakfast and fold clothes and leave a note. Yoda fucked back in the day.

Originals: Luke is like gay asexual to me. Han Solo is bi but generally leans towards women. Leia is straight like her mother before her. Obi-Wan is still homosexual but lives in exile so is a little more normal about it now because he’s being punished. Lando’s got whatever Jack Harkness in Doctor Who has going on. R2D2 and C-3PO are like whatever’s going on with Robin Williams and his husband in the Birdcage 1996. Biggs Darklighter is a Tom of Finland leather gay who likes pits and man sweat. Tarkin is a Shakespearean theater gay like Dooku before him. Mon Mothma is bi and gets dommed by younger assistants. Chewy a straight Wookie playa but he’s chill about it.

[physalian]

Character Types: Femme Fatales & Comic Relief

These two have nothing in common except the one thing I hate about them: By design, they exist to fulfil one shallow purpose, so I’m lumping them together.

—

Comic Relief

Characters that only serve one purpose in the cast stick out like a sore thumb. “Comic Relief” characters exist solely to be funny, as if the rest of the main cast is incapable of humor, and that this character is incapable of any serious moments. Instead of distributing different flavors of humor—sass, dry wit, jokers, pranksters, dark humor, dad jokes and puns—the writer comes up with their grumpy group of heroes, then I guess thinks “oh I need somebody funny to cut some of this seriousness”?

But on top of that, as this character exists just to be funny, there’s usually comparatively less development and rich character nuance for the comic relief over the other heroes. They get whatever crumbs are left over after every other more important character has eaten.

If they do have some tragic backstory or any serious moments, they are still the one desperately trying to cut the tension and either annoying other characters and the audience in the process, or being quite tone deaf in their endeavors.

The one everybody hates: Jar Jar Binks

The one some people hate: Olaf

The one that subverted himself right quick: Sokka

Prequel apologists, step aside. The writing is still terrible and Jar Jar even in Clone Wars features in episodes (“Bombad Jedi”) I routinely skip on rewatches. Maybe he’s funnier for little kids? I haven’t seen every piece of SW media out there but I can’t recall a single moment where Jar Jar has any moment of depth or seriousness and he’s frequently the most inconvenient element of any mission he winds up on.

Honorable mention for C-3PO, far less irritating but still largely a bumbling idiot (I love him, to be clear, he’s just always in the wrong place at the wrong time). The droid factory shenanigans on Geonosis comes to mind, as well as when he was so useless, he was riding around in a sack on Chewie’s back because he got disassembled in ESB.

Jar Jar is funny, but he’s only funny, and most often incompetently funny.

Olaf’s dark humor is what saves him for me personally. “I’ve been impaled” still makes me chuckle no matter how many times I see Frozen. Not only that, but he does have the big heart moment of the movie with Anna. He has zero tragic backstory, he was basically born yesterday, but he’s not a one-dimensional cardboard cutout.

Another honorable mention to, like, 8 out of 13 Dwarves, specifically Bombur, in the Hobbit trilogy. A combined 9 hours of movie and they chose to fill it with Mirkwood River Rapids™ instead of making up development for the heroes.

Sokka, on the other hand, looks like he’s going to be the sarcastic comedic relief, but he becomes so much more and wastes no time doing it. Compare him to the version of him written by the Ember Island Players. He’s been essayed about to death and there’s nothing more I can say about him that hasn’t been said before so I’ll leave it here: Sokka (and Toph) is comedic relief done right.

The whole cast is funny when they want to be, serious when they have to be. No one character gets designated “the funny one” or “the hopeful crying one” or “the buff one” no matter what Fire Nation propaganda wants you to think.

Final honorable mention to Leo Valdez. He has a ton of depth and nuance to him, but is very much "the funny one" of the Seven. Comparing Percy's trip to Ogygia with Leo's and one was a rather sullen "you could have this peaceful escape if you left your destiny behind, but you won't, noble hero" and the other was a bizzare romcom that, to me, wasn't funny, and just created a whole new set of issues surrounding Calypso's character.

—

Femme Fatales

Femme Fatales exist to look pretty, kick ass, pretend to be strong female characters, and be something for the male characters and male viewers to guiltlessly lust after because she’s asking for it. This is not a badass woman protagonist. The classic depiction of this trope is the shallow accessory to a male character, a seductress meant to either manipulate the hero into straying off his moral high ground, or to pit him against another man.

So.

Black Widow.

In Iron Man 2, you can argue that she’s supposed to be shallow. She plays it very close to the chest as a spy and has no reason to let any other characters, especially Tony, behind her mask. It’s not her movie.

In this movie specifically, though, she is this trope exactly. The bodysuit, the perfect hair, the whole changing in the back of the car, her provocative fighting style. She is eye candy that can kick ass, the only thing missing is an attempt at seducing Tony but you'll still catch him looking. That’s the femme fatale.

Extremely popular in 80s and 90s action movies as an accessory to the male protagonist but they've existed as long as film has. If he doesn’t have a damsel in distress to save, he has a sexy leg lamp to woo.

But Black Widow shows up in another decade’s worth of movies and dies to motivate the boys (and because her life matters less than Clint’s because he’s got a family while she can’t have kids), only getting a solo film after they killed her off, but in that time, they gave her plenty to do.

Natasha has many moments with depth, most of them in Age of Ultron and Winter Soldier, but she does have them. She laughs, she cries, she jokes, she’s smart and resourceful in moments where she doesn’t have a male character to impress, she has strengths beyond her physical attributes, and she has flaws. And, she and Steve Rogers miraculously weren’t written a romantic subplot in Winter Soldier.

On the one hand, Natasha knows exactly what she is and her fighting style fully leans into using the weapons she has as a woman… but on the other hand, in creating her character, the writers chose to lean into sexing her up.

I love her character, I just don’t love what they did with her.

—

Both of these character tropes tend to feature in scripts that aren’t the best to begin with. A strong, nuanced cast of heroes doesn’t usually have that one outlier that completely drops the ball.

All I’m asking for is to not designate any one character as the bearer of whatever you forget to give the rest of the cast. “Oops I forgot the funny, let me add in a comic relief, here’s Bob,” is a disservice to Bob. “Oops I forgot the women, let me add in this femme fatale, here’s Nyxandra,” is a disservice to Nyxandra.

Let every character have some funny moments.

You want a femme fatale? Go right ahead, honestly, but maybe don’t make her the only lady in the cast? If she’s a femme fatale because she wants to be, that’s great, but maybe have a woman who proves that you do, in fact, know how to write women?

[callipraxia]

Lying here at 7am, sneezing my head off because of ragweed, and I had a thought about the novelization of Revenge of the Sith.

Early in said novelization, there’s a retrospective on a couple of important moments in Anakin and Padme’s early marriage, specifically around how, since Anakin, as a Jedi trainee, doesn’t own things or have much ability to acquire them, which is an Issue when it comes to giving his new wife a wedding present…so he ‘gives’ her C-3PO, to be ‘a friend’ while he is, as he frequently is, absent, and there’s a sweet moment where Padme politely invites Threepio to join her staff, because on Naboo, droids as high-functioning as Threepio are considered beings, not property. Anakin also notes that technically, since his builder (Anakin himself) owns nothing, Threepio kind of owned himself even before this. Then later, she gives him R2-D2 as ‘a friend’ in return, at which point Anakin starts modifying him this way and that until Artoo eventually obtains at least as much cognitive function as Threepio, setting the stage for the bond the droids have throughout the series. All very nice…but then jump to the very end of the book, immediately after Padme dies and Bail Organa adopts Leia. Y’know. The moment when he casually orders that Threepio undergo a mind wipe to forget…pretty much everything. Who “the Maker” was, all about his years of service to Senator Amidala, where the Princess came from and the fact she has a brother, etc. Then cut forward about twenty years to the beginning of A New Hope, where Threepio fussily keeps scolding Artoo about how “Master Luke” is his owner now and he should therefore forget the mission from their previous owner. It never seems to occur to Threepio, after his years on Alderaan, that they could think for and own themselves, even though again, in the novelizations, Threepio has technically done so for longer than Artoo has; the only difference is that Artoo still remembers everything, whereas Threepio only remembers, at most, the past twenty years.

Clearly, droids did not enjoy the same legal privileges on Alderaan that they did on Novelization!Naboo…but why is that relevant? Threepio, recall, was said to have legal rights on Naboo as a member of Padme’s staff. At a stretch, since Anakin couldn’t technically own Artoo either, one could make an argument that Artoo was still legally Padme’s property and therefore automatically passed into the ownership of her daughter when Padme died*, since Anakin and Padme and Threepio seem to have been the only ones who realized at that time how sentient the astromech had become, but there was really no doubt about Threepio: if Stover’s writing in the official novelization is taken as on any level canonical, then Threepio, as a high-functioning droid, was an employee; certainly this is the case within the pages of the book in question, where he meets the same ends. Padme no more owned him than she owned Jar-Jar or the Handmaidens who acted as her body doubles or her other Senate aides...at least on Naboo and areas where its laws applied, like the embassy on Coruscant, I suppose. They were not in Naboo space at the time of Padme’s death, and apparently the idea that droids could be autonomous was culturally alien to Alderaanians…but we see in TCW that Bail had worked pretty closely with Padme for years. They were political allies, but also friends. They’d risked their lives together before - in the Committee of 2,000 conspiracy, in that episode of The Clone Wars where they investigated a murder together, and arguably, Padme had put her life in his hands without a second thought again on Empire Day when she made that “how liberty dies” remark in the midst of the rest of the Senate’s enthusiastic endorsement of Palpatine’s announcement. Padme also was shown to have a real Problem with the discovery that slavery still existed in the galaxy when she met Shmi and Anakin as a girl, and considering she later married an ex-slave who had…rather strong feelings about the subject, it’s hard to imagine that she didn’t get personally emotionally invested in the issue as well. Anti-slavery measures would have probably been part of her political platform, especially in that gap between Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones where there wasn’t a war that depended on slave soldiers to consider. It never, in all that time, came up with Bail? He never said, “It’s strange how you treat that protocol droid of yours - you act as though he were a person,” to which Padme could only reply that “by my planet’s laws, he is”? Padme never voiced any discomfort with the Alderaanian stance on high-functioning droids in all their years of working together? Why would her good friend not think twice about treating one of her staffers as his property before the poor woman’s corpse was even cold? Even if he disagreed, he ought to have at least had the thought “oh wow, I am disrespecting my friend’s memory here,” or even a hesitation about his legal right to give orders about Threepio’s memory, given that there would of necessity have to have been some interstellar agreement on whether Planet A’s laws about droids applied to droids from Planet A when they were on Planet B, especially if Planet B was neutral space like Coruscant, the place where Bail would have been most familiar with Threepio. I’m American and reasonably historically literate; American history was never my favorite branch of history, but I know all about the sort of trouble it causes when people don’t agree about whether laws from one state in a republic apply in another. See also: the American Civil War? And more recently, the issue of gay marriage, back when states determined that individually. Didn’t cause a war that time, but anyone who had the political awareness of a tree branch probably knew of the issue and, however dimly, probably something of why it was such an issue.

It’s now 9am, and yeah, yeah, I know, all this was necessary to protect the Chosen Twins because Threepio is a bit of an idiot, or it would have taken too much time/been too much at the tail end of a plot as dark as that of RotS to have a quick scene where Threepio agreed to become Bail’s property in order to stay with Leia, etc etc. But considering that Bail’s one of the good guys, it’s pretty messed up to realize how casually someone’s rights could just get hand waved away the moment they no longer had anyone politically powerful immediately on hand to defend them. It’s hard not to think…with his memory gone, Threepio doesn’t even know that he was supposed to have rights, and most humans cannot communicate fluently with Artoo. Bit disturbing to put oneself in that position, to wonder, as messy as the world’s getting…who’s the one person standing between us and having our rights almost as casually overwritten? Not quite as casually, I suppose, since mind wipes don’t exist for us (…yet…probably), but almost. Not something Lucas probably meant to put there, given that he didn’t write the official novelization and his apparent failure to think out the droid issue especially well**, but there’s where my brain’s going on this sneezy, sneezy morning.

* Note: this is totally ignoring the issue of whether this is moral and ethical or not. Also ignoring the issue of how that even stacks with the assiduous efforts to conceal that Padme’s child/children hadn’t died with her, in which case, being legally dead/never personified, it’s hard to consider them her legal heirs anyway.

** See also this video essay: https://youtu.be/WD2UrB7zepo?si=HcttHLpZFGnU5bNb

[stealingpotatoes]

hiii, love your art <3 just wondering, do c-3po and r2d2 have any sorta role in your star wars au (specifically anakin raises leia/ padmé raises luke)? they r my favorites, and i wanna know :)

pretty much just their Clone Wars roles!!! c-3po's Padmé's protocol droid (who is completely clueless abt her rebel activities lol), and r2's Anakin's astromech and best buddy <3 with whom anakin learnt the hard way that astromechs aren't the best nanny droids

[anghraine]

Conversation with the best friend:

BFF: It's actually kind of interesting that C-3PO was programmed not to impersonate deities. Like, that seems so specific!

Me: Yeah, it could be standard, but there's not really an explanation ... maybe it's just the specific programmer.

BFF: Anakin? At nine?

Me: no gods no masters

[lieutenant-teach]

After soooo much time of thinking and weighting pros and cons – I at last got my hands on The Bad Batch! Didn’t make myself watch everything – only chosen episodes that seemed interesting from the Wikipedia description.

To begin with, I didn’t like TBB since their episodes in TCW – specifically them being stereotypical, arrogant and shallow, treating ‘regs’ as shit. I knew exactly what I was getting into, but – watching with my own eyes is different from reading reviews. The first episode almost cost me my love for ‘regs’ – the moment where clones call TBB bad words like ‘sad batch’. Logically speaking – why would they treat TBB like this just because they’re different, especially a kid? Isn’t it against all they narratively stand for – valuing variety and difference of personalities and appearances? A lame attempt to make the audience empathize with them, but I’ve seen how they act in s7 + later episodes. I bet TBB started being asses first (not all ‘regs’ hate on them, whereas TBB hates automatically on almost all ‘regs’ upon seeing).

Moving to the main cast – and I’ll be fair: the supporting characters were miles better as personalities, miles more interesting and relatable.

Tech is fucking annoying – he has unpleasant voice (I usually like guys with clear lofty pronunciation, like C-3PO my beloved) and he’s unlikable as a person. I know about fans reading him as ‘autistic-coded’, and I’ll tell you what – I have autist traits myself, and having these traits/disorder has nothing to do with just being an insensitive uncaring ass.

Wrecker mostly works as a comic relief. The moment I started kinda like TBB (they had their funny cute moments, ok?), he says ‘We don’t like regs, but I like that one [Rex]’. Thanks for reminding why I disliked you all since your 1st appearance. He wasn’t interesting.

Hunter is the least annoying, but a coward. I’d understand his desire to keep his ‘family’ safe, thus taking some unsavory jobs and not engaging into political narrative (like Din Djarin, for example) – if he was just some random guy, like Din, surrounded by mundane people/bounty hunters/criminals without higher calling. But Hunter has his counterparts – other clones, who really show heroism and give everything to the bigger cause. How can I, as a viewer, see Hunter as a hero on par with the Rebels like Hera or Rex or even Howzer (who showed more hero traits in a couple of episodes being a supporting character than Hunter being one of the main ones)? The phrase he said to Echo who’d just returned from helping other clones ‘When will it be enough?’ – and the creatives seriously suppose he’s a heroic character?

Crosshair switches loyalties when it affects him personally. ‘Which side are you on?’ – he asked Ventress, and I snorted aloud – who’s speaking! He’s not really interesting for me and takes too much screentime. Also why is being nice to a kid = a good person? The same stupidity as ‘animals like only good people’.

Rex is better than all of TBB together (except probably Echo, but he doesn’t have much to do). In all, background characters from TCW are more interesting to follow than TBB – then the show starts being actually fun. I really liked Howzer, was happy to see Cody and Wolffe, even Ventress with her new cool hairstyle, actually squealed while Bail Organa cameo.

Speaking about Echo – why does he say ‘If I wasn’t saved by TBB I’d still be on Skako Minor or worse’ – as if his brothers would hate him? According to Filoni and Co, yes, personally I think – no, they were actually quite chill about him in TCW s7. Very happy for him finally leaving these assholes behind and joining Rex and putting on a white trooper armour. He deserves living with his real brothers.

Now to the point I touched upon while talking about Hunter – they’re not the heroes creators want us to see as. Hunter always speaks about keeping his ‘family’ safe, but they could’ve helped the Rebellion + keep Omega safe with other Rebels. The argument is broken easily – the notion of ‘safety’ cannot be applied to anyone in the galaxy at this time, they are endangered anywhere. I don’t know why Rex of all people would be understanding about them refusing to help. It’s clear why TBB never formed brotherhood with other clones – but what was the point of making them clones then? They could’ve been just some random guys, nothing would change, but there’d be no clone-shitting.

Flaunting being defective (read: superior) is annoying. Almost in every episode there’s a least a small allusion on how exclusive they are. ‘We are not like other clones’ said with pride, my ass. No, you’re not like other clones, you’re right. You’re just selfish arrogant douches.

But there were genuinely nice moments! Really liked the episode about Wookies. Clone conspiracy episodes were very good, esp when lacking TBB. Also was immensely pleased when Ventress wiped the floor with TBB – serves them right. Unfairly cool credit melody, I liked it – it deserved a better show.

And some small tidbits I picked up while watching:

Why call clone cadets ‘regs’? Quite derogatory! And a couple of lines later ‘We’re clones, same as you’ – kinda hypocritical, no? It looks like shameless twisting of their clone heritage as they see it fit according to the situation. Doesn’t make them look better, really.

Clone cadets don’t look like Boba. Different faces, different hair colour. Same as Emerie – she isn’t similar to Omega.

Twi’lek senator Orn Free Taa has 4 lekku? Not 2?

Why does the Zillo beast suddenly feed on energy?

Why villains talk with British accent?

Did Rex tell Echo about Fives’ sacrifice? It’d be such a good moment, real connection, emotions the fans expected… Not snotting over Crosshair being ‘uwu poor baby’ over and over.

Why do we need Emerie as another female clone – isn’t Omega supposed to be special because she’s the only female? Which one is older? Why not more female clones?

Hunter look really good as old man – Rex was definitely older-looking in Rebels.

What upset me most – it was Lucas’ idea of special/better-than-usual clones. It was a shitty idea, and of course, it was realized badly.

[duhragonball]

It's my birthday today, and the local grocery store was thoughtful enough to stock the Dragon Ball Z Reese's Puffs, so I'm gonna try it out. Join me, won't you?

I still can't believe this is real. I mean, Reese's Puffa is kind of surreal enough as it is. It sounds like some satirical brand meant to poke fun at sugary kids' cereals. The box says "Made with REAL REESE'S Peanut Butter", the same way a fruit-flavored beverage will claim to contain genuine fruit.

The bowl on the box art is a Reese's cup, so it basically depicts candy being served in more candy. I'm old enough to remember when they would photograph cereal as "part of a complete breakfast", and there'd be grapefruits and toast and maybe a hard boiled egg. Basically they were admitting that the cereal was so unhealthy that you needed to eat three or four other breakfasts to make up for it. I just liked the photos because they were so picturesque. Ah, to have unlimited free time to prepare a leisurely 4-course breakfast while reading the paper. I just assumed everyone else was having toast with their cereal except my family, but yeah, it never really made any sense.

I haven't even gotten to Goku yet, but first I want to talk about his spoon. I don't think we see him holding a spoon very often. He's usually a chopsticks kind of guy, or he'll just use his bare hands or even dunk his head into the bowl. It kind of looks like a ladle when he holds it like that, which implies he cooked this bowl of candy soup all by himself, and he's showing it off like a proud chef. This spoon kicks ass, is what I'm trying to say.

But the real reason I bought this is because of that orange hillbilly who needs no introduction. I wasn't even looking for Reese's Puffs. It was the furthest thing from my mind. No, I was stocking up on the old-man cereal I require to survive, when I just saw him staring at me, with his friendly-yet-confident smile. Goku's not pressuring you to buy the cereal. He's sure you'll enjoy it, but it's okay if you want to take a pass. He'll just enjoy all this peanut butter chocolate goodness all by himself. Goku is truly the ideal spokesman. How can you say no to this lovable hunk?

I'm kind of out of touch when it comes to cereal marketing, but I'm pretty sure this sort of cross-promotion is a rarity. Like, they once put WWE wrestlers on Wheaties or something, but usually if the cereal companies want a cartoon on the box they'll just make their own character. Or if the cartoon people want to put their guy in the cereal aisle, they'll just commission a whole new cereal just for that brand. C-3PO had his own cereal for a while. It was pretty good!

What I'm saying is that it's kind of unusual to see a popular character like this on a cereal box. The only exception I can come up with is Fred Flintstone on Fruity and Cocoa Pebbles, but I always assumed that those were specifically "Flintstones Cereal".

Other than that, yeah, I can't think of any other examples of cartoon characters appearing on unaffiliated cereal boxes like this. Well, I drew my DBZ OC on a box of All-Bran today, but I don't think that counts.

"MY FIBER IS MAXIMUM, KAKAROT!"

I wondered what was up with the picture of Piccolo on the back of the box, and it turns out that he's one of seven different characters you can find on the back of the box. Collect them all! Aw man, that Cell one looks fucking sick! I don't know how they distributed these. Maybe they roll them out in waves and Piccolo's came first. Or maybe it's random and I might have found a Cell if I'd checked more boxes at the store. Well, Piccolo's pretty good. I guess.

All right, I just poured myself a bowl and Goku's cereal is gonna have to set course for Planet Oat. The dairy industry may not applaud my shopping choices, but I like oat milk because it doesn't spoil as quickly as cow milk, and it's got a nice oat-y flavor that compliments the cardboard taste of All-Bran.

I did not put Dawn liquid soap in my cereal. This time.

So what's the verdict here? Well, the first few bites were pretty tasty, and then I realized I was getting kind of sick of this as I made my way to the bottom of the bowl. The peanut butter flavor overwhelms everything. It has a very strong odor, so if you like Reese's peanut butter cups you can just sit this out in your room and savor the aroma. I barely registered any chocolate flavor at all. I mean, I believe they put it there, but the peanut butter is the whole story to this.

It's basically Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs from Calvin and Hobbes, only this is a special Peanut Butter variant they made. I never really appreciated the jokes about sugary cereals before. I grew up on Frosted Flakes and the like, but there were a certain class of cereals that my mom would just refuse to buy. My grandparents would have them, but I never really understood the difference between Frosted Flakes and Honey Smacks. As I got older, I ate less cereal in general, but that was mostly because I fell out of the habit of eating breakfast altogether.

But now I'm 47, and the only cereal I eat these days is bran topped with diced peaches and a couple of packets of artificial sweetener, so Reese's Puffs is way, way too sugary for my palate. It's not bad, but a little goes a long way for me.

When I was a kid, old people were always griping about all the stuff they couldn't eat anymore. I remember Isaac Asimov writing mournfully about how he couldn't have an Oreo cookie, which bummed me out because that was my favorite cookie back then, and it seemed that the fate of all humanity was to be denied the simple pleasure of enjoying them.

Now, I realize that a lot of the stuff that you liked as a kid just doesn't age up with you. Your tastes change, and you gain appreciations for new things that you wouldn't have appreciated before. That's not a bad thing. It's life. Things change, and you change along with them.

Well, you and I do, anyway. Not Goku, whose Saiyan biology keeps him looking exactly the same for sixty years so he can eat all the sweetened corn puffs he wants. But I don't envy him, is what I'm trying to say. I'm watching a wrestling show on PPV tonight, my mom took me to Cracker Barrel for lunch today, and I drew on a cereal box. I can't complain.