#specifically with 3PO

[chyarui]

Commander Wolffe, no introduction needed.

I had so much fun with his tattoos, if you couldn’t tell. After Fox’s depressing ones and Cody’s cute but simple one, I needed to go all out with Wolfy boy’s tat. Honestly, this man deserves a cool tattoo after having to deal with the torture of interacting with C-3PO. I could FEEL his annoyance through the screen (that sassy fucking eyeroll I swear you could feel it though his helmet)

[lightasthesun]

mansplain, manipulate, malewife, manwhore

or

Wolffe, Fox, Bly and Cody

[kingofmyborrowedheart]

Working on this piece for class and am currently trying to figure out whether or not R2-D2 is a gender-less being and what R2-D2’s preferred pronouns are.

[tossawary]

I don't have any solid ships for Luke Skywalker (I'm willing to be persuaded by any author bringing their best, though) and I think it's partially because Luke is such a vital part of the HanLeia ship to me.

My favorite part of HanLeia as a ship is honestly perhaps that Chewie and Luke (and C-3PO and R2-D2, of course) are Also There, just chilling, just hanging out. A chorus of tiebreakers to be ignored by Han and Leia as they please. "This is the love of my life, and that's my/her brother, Luke, and that's his/my partner, Chewie."

I like to think that Han and Leia cannot fully agree on who brought Luke with them into this relationship, though. Luke IS Leia's twin brother, yes, the other half of her soul. However, Han's argument is that Leia didn't actually KNOW that for years and HE'S the one who drove Luke into this Rebellion mess in the first place, Leia didn't send that initial message to Luke specifically. Han is being VERY stubborn about this just, like, because he can be. It's fun.

[palfriendpatine66]

Woke up to Owen Lars thoughts. Specifically re: C-3PO.

Our guy Owen has avoided owning a droid for 20+ years because they remind him of Shmi. He’s had to deal with the Jawas the whole time and knows it would go a hell of a lot better with a translator, but every time he thinks about getting a protocol droid he thinks about Shmi. About how she doted on that insufferably annoying droid because it was her last connection to her son. And he decides he can go another year relying on gestures and paying more than the parts he’s getting are worth.

But now he only has Luke’s help for one more harvest and he’s not getting any younger - his joints ache more and more with each sandstorm - and he decides it’s time to face his ghosts. He can’t avoid reminders of the past forever. He sends Luke for some droids.

And the boy comes back with C3P0

The droid doesn’t look the same - he’s been treated to some upgrades over the years and some fancy gold plating they couldn’t have afforded to give him - but he gives his designation and it’s not just a similar robotic voice dragging up memories that both haunt Owen and remind him of better times. But it’s him, without a doubt. C-3PO human cyborg relations. Shmi’s most prized possession. Returned back to her home and final resting place, back to the last piece of her son.

To Luke.

And when the stormtroopers break down the door and pour in, he has a moment of pure relief that Luke isn’t home. That this time it won’t be a Skywalker’s body found broken in the desert.

He should have known. An R2 unit had rolled up and interrupted Shmi’s humble funeral and Anakin had swept away to whatever dangers waited for him in the stars. He’d brought the two droids with him and the Lars were left to mourn and heal and carry on under the harsh suns. They looked after themselves and weathered the heat and the sand like everything else that was born, and fated to die, in the desert.

But not Luke. Luke wasn’t born on Tatooine, even though the boy has the desert in his blood. Owen sees the same relief written in Beru’s eyes as he takes her hand. Luke isn’t going to die here.

He has the stars in his blood too.

Owen just hopes the boy will meet a better end than his father. That his story won’t end so soon.

[dearanakin]

trust you | anakin skywalker: episode VI

Summary: You and Anakin have been paired to attend an event on the Jedi Temple, all because Poe Dameron insisted. The Jedi seems unprepared for the outcome of being in the spotlight, and you're faced with his vulnerabilities for the first time. (Ps: This is exactly how I imagine him during a specific scene from this chapter 🥺)

Warnings: vulgar language (as always), panic attack

Word count: 4.8k

----

Anakin:

As soon as we landed on Coruscant, we were all warmly welcomed by every person who had been waiting for us to come back from our mission. We were greeted by the engineers, other Jedi and even a few Droids, which celebrated Artoo's return as well.

I tried my best to not cringe at every hug or every handshake someone pulled at me, but I didn't want to look like a dick any more than I already do. So, I just nodded and gave them a smile before heading towards Luke and C-3PO who were waiting for me expectantly.

I rushed to my son, and he quickly pulled himself at me and wrapped his legs around my waist, slightly squeezing me with his small arms. "Hey, bud. It's good to see you".

Luke pulls back and looks at me with a big smile and I see how his big blue eyes sparkle with happiness. "You're back, dad. I wanna know everything. Did you fight the bad man? Did you shoot him? Did they die?".

His bombardment made me laugh as I shook my head from the amused remarks he made. I pull him back for another hug and feel him clinging to my neck, I could feel his energy seeping through my body. It made me feel immediately relieved from being back again.

Luke drops himself from my grip and holds my hand, looking back at the commotion that was still happening in the hangar. People were cheering for (Y/N) and Cal, exchanging hugs as Poe watched with his arms crossed against his chest. He's not really well known around the Temple, but he nods with a grin when people compliment and greet him.

I feel the little boy giving my hand a squeeze, making my eyes dart to him. "Can I go hug Miss (Y/N)? I've heard she was on the mission as well".

My throat suddenly tightened and I tried too hard to swallow. I keep looking at him like it was a hard decision to make. It didn't strike me that he would like to welcome her at all. Not after telling him many times he shouldn't be too close to anyone I didn't trust. And matter-of-factly, the little bastard loves to do the opposite as I say sometimes. My face falters and I give him an apologetic look.

"But dad, everyone is hugging her. I wanna give her a hug too!" His words stung, they felt like a stab on an open wound.

"They're all friends, buddy. We're not her friends, remember?" I crouch down to his level, trying to reason as my hand rests over his shoulder. Luke frowns over my words and Goodness Sake, I swear I can see disappointment.

"That's because you don't want me to be friends with her. I already told you she's nice to me!" He shoots an angry glare at me and diverts from my grip. Seconds later, he's running towards the group of people around the others.

I stand up huffing, shoving my hand over hair pulling the strands feeling on edge. This little shit always goes against my rules and it pisses me off. But I'm never one to punish him, for some reason it doesn't feel right to do that. My mother never did that to me either way.

Behind me, 3PO mumbled something pretty incoherent and it sounded muffled. My eyes roamed through the hangar, they landed on a shadow standing across the area. I couldn't see much from the distance, but I sensed the presence and it felt like I'd seen it before. My stomach tied to a knot and I felt the blood rising to my head. Suddenly I felt a pressure in my chest, my feet wouldn't move.

I tried to sprint to the other side of the hangar, not daring to look away from the person standing on the corner of the wall. I decided to run after them, but by the time I got there, I was met with nothing. I blinked a few times, trying to adjust my sight and making sure it wasn't some kind of illusion, or a trick. I still had this feeling on my body that I knew who it was, but couldn't actually pinpoint it.

My heart was racing and hammering against my ribcage. I felt my blood pressure pick up as though I was having a heart attack. I couldn't just breathe decently, and I had to lean against the wall for support otherwise I'd drop to the floor and embarrass myself.

After a few minutes trying to calm down, my feet dragged me into the small group of people who were just having a conversation after celebrating our return. I watched as Poe was sitting on the floor talking to Luke. I swear to God this boy loves to make acquaintances with every person he sees. I'm not sure it's exactly a good idea to let him get to know other people, but I let him this time, he seemed pretty involved.

I shifted my sight and was met with Cal and (Y/N) laughing over something they were talking about. She glanced at me for a slight second, enough for me to catch her eyes before she returned her gaze to her friend. It felt different, weird to look at her after what happened back there. She didn't seem too frightened like she did before we went out on the mission.

Before we landed, Poe had invited us for a drink later that day. I tried to refuse many times, but he made sure he would convince me to go so I would get rid of my "grumpy face". I really wanted to go back to my place and get some rest, spend time with my son, and get some distraction. I just wasn't the biggest fan of going to the bar and drinking, nor do I like to interact with other people like I did before. It's plain boring to me.

-

I ended up going to the bar with Dameron, who also invited (Y/N) and Cal, obviously. Not only I didn't have the greatest time of my life, but I also had to deal with him asking (Y/N) to be my plus one at this sort of event the Temple was making.

And here I was, sitting next to her at our table for six. Cal was sitting across from us, his bored expression radiating through the place. He had a friend beside him, who was having a conversation with the nerd next to me. Motherfucking Poe was happily sipping on his glass of water, nodding to his sister.

I kept fidgeting my fingers under the table, not really interested in being at one of these events where they praise people for doing their work. In fact, I consider this such bullshit, given that we are all fighters out there. Kestis would constantly look at me like he wants to choke me to death, and I'm sure he just about planned the entire thing.

"So" Poe's sister spoke up, we all whipped our heads waiting for a response. "When did you and Skywalker start dating?"

The man next to her almost choked on his water, clearing his throat.

"What?" My eyebrows shot up in confusion and I could hear the crack in my voice. "We're not- She's not my-"

"We aren't really-" I heard (Y/N) speak up at the same time, sensing her nervousness.

"These two?" Cal chimed in simultaneously, and I glanced at him, knowing the bitterness in his tone. With a sly smirk on his face, he shook his head in amusement. "They literally hate each other".

The expression plastered over Dameron's face, I recognized he didn't know where exactly my relationship with her stands. His sister was as surprised as he was, while the dumbass sitting in front of me seemed to be having fun.

"Shut up, Cal" (Y/N) seethed through gritted teeth. "I'm sorry, he likes to make up things just for his entertainment".

Is he lying, though? I wasn't the biggest fan of hers, and I surely didn't want to be at this fucking event sitting next to her. Especially if I have to face Cal on the other end of the table.

She gave Poe's sister a forced smile, clearing her throat. "We're not together. Your brother paired us for the event, but that's about it".

I shot him daggers, my eyebrows still knitted together. I'm going to have a fucking headache from this conversation. The pilot lifted his hands in surrender as his face flushed red.

"Hey, I didn't know that either. If anything, I thought they were together" He explained, pointing his index finger between (Y/N) and Cal.

It's not like it's debatable, their friendship is somewhat too strong, and they always look at each other as if they're in love. Maybe I'm seeing things the wrong way, but I'm sure Kestis definitely feels passionate about her.

Now, at least I was having some fun. The redhead in front of me blushed, his lips pursed and he huffed. I felt (Y/N) shift beside me and shove her forehead over her hand, running the fingers through her hair.

"No one is dating anybody, Poe" He seemed to be having a hard time coming up with words, I watched as Cal tried to get rid of his hoarse voice while taking a sip of his water.

"Oh, really? You always seem pretty close" I push, receiving a warning glance from him. The curve of my lips pull into a smile and I tilt my head, faking my reaction.

"No. We're just really good friends" Cal clenches his jaw and I can feel his hands turn into fists besides his body under the table.

"Then why are you blushing?" I hear myself egging him, feeling his stare burn into me. Before he could speak up again, his friend cut him off.

"Okay, let's go get something to eat!" She stood up from her chair, grabbing him by his forearm. Kestis was pissed at me by the way his eyebrows were frowning and his hands were still closed.

I wiggle my fingers as I wave at him, watching as both of them disappear through the crowd of people dancing and conversing. I noticed (Y/N) was staring at me in shock, eyes widened and arms crossed over her chest.

"You're such a dick!" She protests before leaving the table, snapping the napkin over her empty plate.

This is just great, things are going exactly how I imagined they would. Like shit, as always.

"Wow, this is like a second-hand embarrassment table" Poe muttered with a nervous chuckle.

"This was your idea!" I angrily point at him with my robotic arm and he swats it away, rolling his eyes.

"Nope, my idea was to try to have some fun. Catch up and spend time together. The 'being a jerk' idea was all yours" He playfully smiles as he taps me on my shoulder. I shrug him off, fuming.

"Fuck off" I get up from my seat and walk over the hall of the Temple. From a distance, I can see the kids playing with the nurse Droids and a few Padawans as well. At least someone is having decent fun in this fucking place.

I wander through the numerous groups of people talking, while they eat their dinner and sip their drinks. They're smiling at each other, laughing and enjoying themselves. This is why I hate this kind of event, forcing myself to get here every time and watch as they all look at me like I'm some kind of superhero. Deep, I know. They only get to see my shell, my outer behavior. No one can see or know what really happens inside my head, what I feel in my body.

They can sense the somewhat darkness seeping through my blood vessels, but I don't let anyone feel more than that. Not the intrusive thoughts, not the grieving or the sorrow, or even the hatred. I had to create a shield to protect myself from having empathy and it comes with the price of seeing people distance themselves from me. I watch as they look at me with fear, they avoid looking at me.

I'm still not convinced my team trusts me completely, but they never showed me otherwise. I've had Cal as my wingman for a couple of years now and we never really had arguments over the time, just now it seemed like I've crossed some lines when I confronted (Y/N). He's not the first person to hate my guts right now, and he sure won't be the last either. Neither will she, for a fact.

I found her leaving the ladies room just in time when she was met with my eyes roaming around the area, looking for her. (Y/N) shifted her gaze when she noticed my glance. From her demeanor, I realized she was trying to get rid of me, shoving herself among the people as she tried to blend in. My feet were quick to follow her, trying not to knock everyone down while I swimmed through the crowd. Jesus, I wouldn't take her for someone who can run that fast without having a regular exercising routine.

My hand grazed her wrists, aiming for her waist instead. The mere touch burned my skin, it was foreign after so long. It was completely odd for me to hold someone - a woman - by the waist. She turned over, trying to shove my hands off of her, not being strong enough for my fingers to slip.

"Let me go, Skywalker. Or I'll scream!" (Y/N) tried to stand at least an arm span from me. Her small hands eagerly held mine as she still struggled to get rid of my hold.

"Hey, calm down now. Let me talk for just a minute" I lowered my chin and showed some empathy before she decided to lose it and make a scene.

"I think you've said enough for today" She didn't move her hands from mine. I could feel (Y/N) was having a difficult time trusting me after the stunt I pulled, her eyes were squinted and her forehead was crinkled with annoyance.

I rolled my eyes, knowing I wasn't in the right for making excuses. I just wanted to have my fun with the guy, I didn't do any harm to him. "Look- I'm... sorry. I was an ass, I recognize that and I didn't mean to make you feel embarrassed".

Her expression dropped a little, but I can see she was going to be sarcastic. She was chuckling, looking at me with taunting in her eyes. "You really had me there, Anakin. For a moment I wasn't sure you had the word "sorry" in your vocabulary".

And then, the next second, (Y/N) went back to the previous angry look, shoving both of my hands from her waist. I rolled my eyes before letting out a groan as I scratched the back of my neck. "Why make this hard and just say you don't want my apology?".

She places one hand over her waist, while pinching her chin with the other. I swear to God, I barely have any patience for this kind of game. "Huh, come to think of it, I might actually just forgive you. The way you're grimacing, it must have been really hard for you to say that word".

I watch her send me a small smile before turning on her back, walking back to our table. I must be a really bad person if people think I can't just apologize when I do something wrong.

Before I even consider taking another step, I hear my name being shot out from the small stage. Here we go again with the show. Master Yoda was sitting down on a stool, holding a microphone in his tiny green hand, waving for me to come over.

Shit.

I forced a smile, feeling everyone's eyes burn into my back as I walked towards him, immediately balling my hands into fists from instinct of self protection. I might as well have social anxiety if that's even a thing. I stood there in front of dozens of people, some were clapping their hands, some were whistling and then there was Cal, who was definitely not even masking the way his eyes were rolling.

There was a speech, which I didn't manage to listen to. I was too busy keeping my eyes on Luke as he looked at me with a sparkle in his eyes, probably proud of his father for being there. Like I'm a motherfucking God. I'm sure this place belonged to Obi-Wan more than anything, although it was obvious he would go against it just like me. Whatever Yoda was yapping about just about sounded muffled to me, and I wish I could just kill myself.

"To the bravest Jedi Master, here is to" He celebrates, extending his little arms to me as he holds a fucking medal. "Proud of you, we all are".

I hear the claps again, the cheering and the warming celebration right above my eyes. But I don't feel it, I don't agree with all the adoration and admiration. My head whips to where Luke stands, he's jumping around and celebrating his own father. My own eyes glint with gratitude for having him next to me. He's my anchor, the angel sent from heaven to help me stay whole.

"I- Uh- Thank you for the support..." I heave as I feel a lump in my throat. "But I don't think I deserve this. I'm not sure it's good enough for me" My voice barely comes out, my hands are trembling as I hold the microphone with one, while the other grips the medal.

There's silence and shuffling around the hall. I'm sure Kestis would stand up and just scream saying I suck. But it never came. In fact, the only sound echoing through the room was from running feet. When I came to realize, my boy was standing right in front of me, holding the hem of my blazer. I look down at him, there's a frown on his face and it hits me. I disappointed my child too.

"But you're the bravest Jedi Master, dad! Everyone says you're the chosen one, you deserve it" He goes through his sentence nodding at every word he says. "You're a good person, daddy. We are proud of you".

I stare at him with my jaw slack and my mind spiraling, going blank as the words freeze in my mouth. The moment I take in everything he just said, my body can't help but keep completely stagnant. Yoda protests again, saying his last words as if he agrees with Luke, but it's hard to focus on my surroundings. I just step out of this torture and get a hold of the boy, pulling him into a hug as he wraps himself around my torso.

Even with my body feeling tense, closing my eyes didn't make a difference at this point. I squinted them shut as much as I could, clinging to Luke as if it was the last thing I had to do. It still wasn't enough for me to shake off the draining feeling, nor was I able to avoid listening to the murmuring as they went back to what they were doing. My hands were still shaking and feeling numb, my eyes shooting up immediately.

I clear my throat, pulling away from him just enough to speak. It came out hoarse and strangled. "I'll be right back, alright? Get back to your friends".

My blurry vision sent a shockwave through my body and I stiffened, every cell shooting an alarming feeling straight to my brain. I shake my head, trying to make sense of what's in front of me but everything seems too distorted. My boots heavily drag me out of there, leading me to a corner where no one would bother or ask questions about me. It becomes too hard to walk, my fingertips graze the wall like it was soap, slipping through it, and I can hear my blood pumping so loud that everything else becomes a haze.

I walk into a small room, which was probably a janitor's room, dropping to my knees as soon as I close the door behind me. My first instinct is to punch the wall, release the nerves stuck on me. I can feel the sweat dripping down my neck and my forehead, my hair sticking to the damp skin. The blazer and tunic are suffocating me and I have to force myself to undress before it gets harder to breathe. I groan when I notice the numbness over my body, my heart rate quickly picking up. I pace around the small room, breaking and throwing anything I see in front of me.

Just let it out, Skywalker. It will go away. It has to.

"You're so... fucking... ridiculous!" I say to myself as I keep walking in circles, kicking and punching. My airways become smaller each breath I take and I start wheezing.

"You're lame, Anakin. Fucking. Lame" My hands fly up to my face and I start smacking myself on the forehead for reassurance.

For a second, I lean against the small shelf in front me. I can feel something shift inside of me, my eyes became extremely dry and it burned. I snapped out of my thoughts when the door - which I could've sworn was locked - opened. (Y/N) stood there, shocked to see me like that.

She doesn't even take the hint, rather than just walks in and locks the door with both of us inside the small room.

"Anakin, what's wrong?" She looks at me, worried and scared. Her hands hesitantly reach out to my arms, but I grab her wrists before they touch me.

"What the hell are you doing here?" My tone was husky from the whisper screaming and from the anger.

She shifted her eyes between mine and my trembling hands gripping her. I could still barely see, my eyelids were twitching and they felt too heavy.

"Your- your eyes" (Y/N) motioned her hands, pulling them back, placing them over her mouth. "You're-"

My knees gave out before I could fucking yell at her again. I groaned so loud that it was deafening this time, my hands pulled my hair from the roots. The hot tears started to prick and I tried to blink them away. "Get out, now!"

I felt her startle next to me, taking a step back, and it was enough for me to get myself distant from her. I didn't need anyone seeing me like this, especially her. With my eyes closed and my fists clenching hard, I sit down and lean against the wall. I rest my elbows against my knees and shove my head back against the wall multiple times.

"Go away! Go away! Go away!" I scream out, my throat burning from the action and my head throbbing from the bashing.

"Anakin! Look at me, now. Please, it's just me" She speaks through a wavering voice. I feel one of her hands resting against my flesh one, the warmth spreading through my skin.

The touch always burned, it didn't feel repelling, it just felt awkward. Strange. It was hard to accept the gesture.

I shook my head for what felt like an entire minute, my mouth mumbling incoherent words and I still leaned against the wall. Her hand hovered over my jawline and I immediately clenched it, my arm instinctively shot upwards to grab her forearm and she yelped from the sudden action. "It's okay, Anakin. No one knows".

Slowly my eyes opened to meet her face standing inches from me, respecting the distance even though her hand was barely touching my face. The gears in my head started working against my will, my nose flared in rage and I immediately wrapped her throat around my metal hand. I stood right up, pushing her against the wall as she choked with the impact. Her hands gripped my arm with mercy, she tried to gasp for air as she tried to speak.

I didn't feel guilty, I didn't feel sympathetic, I didn't feel anything. All I could see right now was red and I could tell my eyes were bloodshot from how angry I was. And then her behavior shifted again by the way she was looking at me, she was panicking. She couldn't look at me just like she was doing seconds ago. I tilt my head and release her, but not fast enough to catch her before she drops to the floor on her knees. I can feel it now. I know that feeling.

The panic attacks almost never came with the deadly feeling of snapping someone's neck. And now I know why I feel the way I just did. The darkness I've been told about too many times before. If you let it in, you can't control it. It's been dormant for years, I know I feel it coming to the surface when I can't control my own emotions. This time, it was finally reaching out to the surface and breaking out of it. I stepped out and walked backwards until my back hit the wall again, watching as she stood on her feet.

"Anakin-"

I swallow the enormous pain in my throat. "You need to go". She struggled to disagree, her head shaking hesitantly. My chest was heaving, everything hurts and I'm still feeling numb as fuck. "Just go!"

It took me that long to finally break down and I did right in front of her. In front of someone I so much despised for failing to do her job and now I'm paying for being exactly who I promised myself I would be. The pain in my stomach was nauseating and I had to slump down against the wall, this time not giving a fuck I looked like a crying baby. I had too much in my head already.

She tried to hold my chin up to face her, and I watched as her hand stayed frozen only a few inches before she decided against it and carefully gripped my skin. (Y/N) stares at my soul intently, eyes roaming through my face as I hold back the urge of grunting.

"It's okay, it's not the time to be tough. I know I'm not your favorite person right now but let me help you" She tries to coax in a soothing voice.

I have the hardest time getting myself to react, as my body is still struggling against the episode I just had. I want to push her away, I want to swat her hand away from me, I hate that I feel too vulnerable to avoid any physical contact. I just can't. "I'm bad. I'm so bad" I rasp.

I can't even speak. I feel my throat burning, my skin burning, my lung burning. Every inch of my body feels like it's on fire. And I can't fight against it this time. She withdraws her hand from my face, sliding it against my robotic hand, closing it tightly. "Hey, you need to fight against it. You're still you".

I shake my head in disbelief and let out a gruff laugh. I haven't been myself in six years. I just work through it so I won't lose it. Everyday is a battle against the darkening feeling just for the sake of Luke's life, because he doesn't deserve that kind of father. He doesn't even deserve this father. "You don't know shit about me".

I expect her to back up and leave, but she stays crouched on my eye level, still gripping my hand. Her lips are pursed in a thin line, and her irises are boring into mine. I recognize that look, she's trying to figure me out, I shut it down and drop my head. "Stop it".

"They were yellow" She said in a whisper, and I shot my head up again. "Your eyes. They were-"

"I know... I've seen it happen before, once" I try to not make a big deal out of it, but there's only so much I can do about that. Because I know I can't avoid it from happening anymore.

"I'm not good. I'm not good for anyone" My confession almost came out as a sob. This time, I couldn't handle the stress and I couldn't even think about what I was going to do after what happened.

She's going to see me as a joke, as a pussy man who gets medals for being the bravest Jedi Master, while behind closed doors, he falls to his knees and cries his sorrows.

I'm not the Jedi I should be.

@jackie-on-the-loose @adorbzliz @himesuedi @kingdomhate @himesuedi @cl0esblogg @littlecoffeeadict @readingthingsonhere

[stealingpotatoes]

hiii, love your art <3 just wondering, do c-3po and r2d2 have any sorta role in your star wars au (specifically anakin raises leia/ padmé raises luke)? they r my favorites, and i wanna know :)

pretty much just their Clone Wars roles!!! c-3po's Padmé's protocol droid (who is completely clueless abt her rebel activities lol), and r2's Anakin's astromech and best buddy <3 with whom anakin learnt the hard way that astromechs aren't the best nanny droids

[anghraine]

Conversation with the best friend:

BFF: It's actually kind of interesting that C-3PO was programmed not to impersonate deities. Like, that seems so specific!

Me: Yeah, it could be standard, but there's not really an explanation ... maybe it's just the specific programmer.

BFF: Anakin? At nine?

Me: no gods no masters

[duhragonball]

It's my birthday today, and the local grocery store was thoughtful enough to stock the Dragon Ball Z Reese's Puffs, so I'm gonna try it out. Join me, won't you?

I still can't believe this is real. I mean, Reese's Puffa is kind of surreal enough as it is. It sounds like some satirical brand meant to poke fun at sugary kids' cereals. The box says "Made with REAL REESE'S Peanut Butter", the same way a fruit-flavored beverage will claim to contain genuine fruit.

The bowl on the box art is a Reese's cup, so it basically depicts candy being served in more candy. I'm old enough to remember when they would photograph cereal as "part of a complete breakfast", and there'd be grapefruits and toast and maybe a hard boiled egg. Basically they were admitting that the cereal was so unhealthy that you needed to eat three or four other breakfasts to make up for it. I just liked the photos because they were so picturesque. Ah, to have unlimited free time to prepare a leisurely 4-course breakfast while reading the paper. I just assumed everyone else was having toast with their cereal except my family, but yeah, it never really made any sense.

I haven't even gotten to Goku yet, but first I want to talk about his spoon. I don't think we see him holding a spoon very often. He's usually a chopsticks kind of guy, or he'll just use his bare hands or even dunk his head into the bowl. It kind of looks like a ladle when he holds it like that, which implies he cooked this bowl of candy soup all by himself, and he's showing it off like a proud chef. This spoon kicks ass, is what I'm trying to say.

But the real reason I bought this is because of that orange hillbilly who needs no introduction. I wasn't even looking for Reese's Puffs. It was the furthest thing from my mind. No, I was stocking up on the old-man cereal I require to survive, when I just saw him staring at me, with his friendly-yet-confident smile. Goku's not pressuring you to buy the cereal. He's sure you'll enjoy it, but it's okay if you want to take a pass. He'll just enjoy all this peanut butter chocolate goodness all by himself. Goku is truly the ideal spokesman. How can you say no to this lovable hunk?

I'm kind of out of touch when it comes to cereal marketing, but I'm pretty sure this sort of cross-promotion is a rarity. Like, they once put WWE wrestlers on Wheaties or something, but usually if the cereal companies want a cartoon on the box they'll just make their own character. Or if the cartoon people want to put their guy in the cereal aisle, they'll just commission a whole new cereal just for that brand. C-3PO had his own cereal for a while. It was pretty good!

What I'm saying is that it's kind of unusual to see a popular character like this on a cereal box. The only exception I can come up with is Fred Flintstone on Fruity and Cocoa Pebbles, but I always assumed that those were specifically "Flintstones Cereal".

Other than that, yeah, I can't think of any other examples of cartoon characters appearing on unaffiliated cereal boxes like this. Well, I drew my DBZ OC on a box of All-Bran today, but I don't think that counts.

"MY FIBER IS MAXIMUM, KAKAROT!"

I wondered what was up with the picture of Piccolo on the back of the box, and it turns out that he's one of seven different characters you can find on the back of the box. Collect them all! Aw man, that Cell one looks fucking sick! I don't know how they distributed these. Maybe they roll them out in waves and Piccolo's came first. Or maybe it's random and I might have found a Cell if I'd checked more boxes at the store. Well, Piccolo's pretty good. I guess.

All right, I just poured myself a bowl and Goku's cereal is gonna have to set course for Planet Oat. The dairy industry may not applaud my shopping choices, but I like oat milk because it doesn't spoil as quickly as cow milk, and it's got a nice oat-y flavor that compliments the cardboard taste of All-Bran.

I did not put Dawn liquid soap in my cereal. This time.

So what's the verdict here? Well, the first few bites were pretty tasty, and then I realized I was getting kind of sick of this as I made my way to the bottom of the bowl. The peanut butter flavor overwhelms everything. It has a very strong odor, so if you like Reese's peanut butter cups you can just sit this out in your room and savor the aroma. I barely registered any chocolate flavor at all. I mean, I believe they put it there, but the peanut butter is the whole story to this.

It's basically Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs from Calvin and Hobbes, only this is a special Peanut Butter variant they made. I never really appreciated the jokes about sugary cereals before. I grew up on Frosted Flakes and the like, but there were a certain class of cereals that my mom would just refuse to buy. My grandparents would have them, but I never really understood the difference between Frosted Flakes and Honey Smacks. As I got older, I ate less cereal in general, but that was mostly because I fell out of the habit of eating breakfast altogether.

But now I'm 47, and the only cereal I eat these days is bran topped with diced peaches and a couple of packets of artificial sweetener, so Reese's Puffs is way, way too sugary for my palate. It's not bad, but a little goes a long way for me.

When I was a kid, old people were always griping about all the stuff they couldn't eat anymore. I remember Isaac Asimov writing mournfully about how he couldn't have an Oreo cookie, which bummed me out because that was my favorite cookie back then, and it seemed that the fate of all humanity was to be denied the simple pleasure of enjoying them.

Now, I realize that a lot of the stuff that you liked as a kid just doesn't age up with you. Your tastes change, and you gain appreciations for new things that you wouldn't have appreciated before. That's not a bad thing. It's life. Things change, and you change along with them.

Well, you and I do, anyway. Not Goku, whose Saiyan biology keeps him looking exactly the same for sixty years so he can eat all the sweetened corn puffs he wants. But I don't envy him, is what I'm trying to say. I'm watching a wrestling show on PPV tonight, my mom took me to Cracker Barrel for lunch today, and I drew on a cereal box. I can't complain.

[superhusbands4ever]

what’s up dinluke nation I’m looking for a fic, it’s an alternate universe order 66 happened differently type fic where Din is The Mand’alor and can only speak Mando’a and Luke can only speak galactic basic and there’s like an arranged marriage thing with a whole language barrier thing and the armorer and 3PO have to do a lot of translating and its angsty but ends all happy and adorable and shit. I think rex is in it for a hot minute and runs an orphanage on Mandalore?? I remember few specific details lmao

[casp1an-sea]

STAR WARS LGBTQ HEADCANONS FOR PRIDE

I’m only listing characters that I have set opinions on so if a character is missing that’s why

(if you don’t agree thats okay but don’t judge me for having opinions)

—————————————————————————

Original Trilogy:

-LUKE IS GAY

I headcanon That Han doesn’t really think about labeling anything, he’s dated men he’s dated women it’s whatever

Lando is Pansexual Polyamorous and uses all pronouns

people might hate me for this but I headcanon Leia as straight 😅

I know he’s a droid but C-3PO is gay

Biggs Darklighter is bisexual

I think Tarkin being Not straight is like almost canon so???? (Still hate him though)

Not a sexuality but Crix Madine does drag✨✨✨ (don’t question it) So Does Greedo (Google Greedo in heels)

Oola is Asexual and deserves Justice

Admiral Akbar is Gay in some capacity idk why

Prequels And CW:

Obi-Wan is bisexual

All clones are gay in some capacity (ask for a specific clone)

Grievous is Gay

Asoka is bisexual with a preference for women

Barris is Lesbian and Asexual and goes by They/she

All B1 battle droids are gay because I said so

Kit fisto is gay

Sequels:

Kylo is gay did you expect anything else from me?

Hux is a closeted gay (though pretty much everyone figured it out, probably before he did) (I do see him as Cis but I enjoy the AU where he’s trans masc bc that’s so me)

Phasma is lesbian

Rose is lesbian

Finn is Bi (Poe was his gay awakening)

Poe is Bi with a preference for men

Mitaka is gay and Ace

Pryde is straight and def homophobic and transphobic let’s be real

Brendol is the reason Hux is closeted need i say more?

Star Wars Rebels and Bad Batch:

Hera is bi

Sabine is Lesbian

Zeb is Gay

Kallus is gay (Zeb was his gay awakening)

Thrawn is bi (For Eli Vanto cough cough)

Tech doesn’t put labels on his gender or sexuality as he finds it too fluid and nuanced to logically label it with one word

Phee is enby and bisexual

Wreker is Demi and Asexual

Crosshair is Gay

Hunter is Bi

Echo is Biromantic Asexual

Adult omega is Bi with a preference for fem people

Emerie is trans fem and Ace Aro

Hemlock is gay (idk why but I always headcanoned him having a husband off screen. Still hate him though)

Legends:

Coran Horn is bi (my precious boy 🥺)

Jaina is bi

Anakin (Solo) is bi and doesn’t label his gender uses they/he

Jacen is either gay or straight I can’t decide

Nuso Esva is Enby and Ace Aro

[walkawaytall]

thoughts I've had about the Han/Leia dynamic that prove that my bar for relationships is on the ground (but, like, also prove that a lot of relationships in fiction somehow tunnel under my ground-level bar every chance they get)

"I appreciate that, despite having just spent several minutes yelling at each other in a public hallway, when they're both working, they interact like damn adults and don't do weird things like refuse to acknowledge each other over the comms**."

"The fact that they go from griping at each other nearly constantly to being nearly constantly affectionate and on each other's sides so quickly kind of indicates that the Echo Base Angst was probably just a bunch of hurt feelings from off-screen events and that these people actually like each other and have for quite awhile, which is good thing in a romantic relationship and also completely different from the interpretation that I do sometimes feel the movie wants us to have, which is that these two idiots yelled at each other for three years straight and then Han's Very Cool and Definitely Not Awkward Flirting for Cool Guys Only™ won the princess over without them ever addressing hating each other for years."

"You know, a huge red flag for unhealthy relationships is mocking your significant other in front of other people, which is a thing that Han could have easily done when Lando asked if they were having issues with C-3PO. Or he could have just overridden Leia entirely and asked for Lando's help, but he instead presented a united front even though he had literally just disagreed with her about trusting Lando when they were alone. I know it was just so they could make a joke. I know Lawrence Kasdan wasn't sitting there going, 'Hmm, how do I depict a healthy relationship where there's a disagreement and an outside party agrees with one of the people in the relationship?' But this is still (sadly) noteworthy."

"They still, like, maintain their personalities and wry senses of humor once they're together without degrading or making fun of one another in a mean way, which strikes a balance I've only seen depicted in fiction a handful of times."

"Han is obviously feeling insecure for plot contrivance reasons, but he apologizes for being needlessly snippy immediately. Go Han."

"This entire 'Is Leia in love with Luke?' subplot has never made any gosh-darn sense to me, no, not even when I was like eleven. But Han offering to step aside rather than getting mad at Leia or Luke or, I don't know, challenging Luke to a duel or something is actually a kind of mature thing to do."

I should note that I firmly believe all of these things happened on accident. At no point do I think the people in charge of writing these scripts were like, "Let's make these two dummies have a bizarrely functional relationship even when we throw nonsensical insecurities into the mix for no good reason". This is the same as Leia being Force-sensitive: they accidented themselves into a better and more cohesive plotline than what they originally intended. But it still works somehow, and I like how things turned out so much better than what it sort of seems like they were attempting to do.

(For clarity's sake: I'm only saying my bar is on the ground because I feel like all of this should just be a given in romantic relationships and I'm sitting here impressed that I've seen any of it depicted in fiction.)

**obviously, Han did just straight-up turn off his comm earlier in the movie which was admittedly immature, but at that point, I assumed he was off-duty since he's working on the Falcon, and I'm specifically talking about being able to work together despite whatever weird personal stuff you have going on with someone (where "weird personal stuff" isn't harming one or both parties, of course).

[just-prime]

7 down, 1 to go

We are almost in the home stretch people. One more week, and then this literal shit show will be over

This week we had Thrawn throwing shade, our heroes are reunited, and yet another dumb half hour of chasing our tails...followed by 8 minutes of credits.

First off, these actors clearly, desperately need any sort of combat training. Because everything feels so hollow and slowed down. Ahsoka was never this slow, and yes I know this isn't animation, but if nearly 60 year old Keanu Reeves can make action believable and smooth, so can 44 year old Rosario Dawson. Or 29 year old Natasha Liu Bordizzo. Or 26 year old Eman Esfandi. No hate to these actors (on this specifically) they clearly where just not given any of the proper training to pull of any of this combat believably.

Also, why is this show obsessed with making Ahsoka a FUCKING BAD PILOT. Anakin was the one (I'm assuming) who taught her to fly...so why isn't she good at it??? Every time she gets into the cockpit things immediately go badly.

Speaking of the combat, why is every shot in that chase sequence one of the same 4 angles nevers deviating from the simple tracking shot? Why is it so BORING? They could have had fun with these little bumper cars that the little hermit crab people have. Also, I struggle to believe that a species that lives on the homeworld of the Dathomiri witches are 'peaceful' and 'unarmed' and yet haven't been wiped out eons ago. Like, it's the ewoks again, but worse, because the ewoks at least had a believable amount of weapons and traps for their carnivorous teddy bear lifestyle!

Jumping back a moment to the cold open, once again this show is making me actively route against the New Republic. Remember when the New Republic was something that was to be celebrated? A representation of how good triumphs over evil, that love wins out in the end? That a father could see the error of his ways, and give everything he has to ensure that his children get to see a world better than the one he built?

3PO showing up is just one more in the long line of lazy cameos meant to engage the children and pacify the sceptics. I think we all know that if they could get away with it, Disney would have rolled out a plastic CGI soulless version of Leia. Hopefully that will never happen. Still don't understand why they didn't just have Zeb accompany 3PO to make Leia throwing around her weight more official.

Once again, I voice my complaint at this show's refusal to acknowledge Kallus. Sabine told Ezra about Zeb and Hera, why'd Alexsandr get left out? :(

Anyway, like I said, not a ton happens.

Baylan sits back and send Shin to do his dirty work. Unclear if he is still totally on board with everything that is happening.

Ahsoka swoops in at the last minute to save Ezra and Sabine.

Thrawn says "Anakin Skywalker" and doesn't immediately ask who that was, so I am taking that as a itty-bitty win for the Thrawn Alliances fans.

Oh, and the makeup still looks like absolute dog shit.

And it is very obvious that this is all going to end on a big old fucking cliffhanger to set up the Heir to the Empire movie.

So yeah, I hate everything about this, including the fact that we now have confirmation that Sabine is at least a little force sensitive.

[veggiehomosapien]

Movie ask: 1, 5, 9, 43 :-)

hiiiiiiiiiiiii pal how are youuuuu

okay i gotta lock in

1. what is your favorite movie of all time?

starting off easy i see lmao

i'm hesitant to say this, but Coraline (fuck neil gaiman). disgusting author aside, the movie is incredible - stop motion, beautiful visuals, eerie score, easter eggs up to your ears (seriously, i learn something new every time i watch it). the amount of video essays i have seen on this movie... i can never get enough of it honestly. i also adore Laika and everything they create.

5. name a movie you put on to cry to

oddly enough, i don't know if i have a movie like this! i cry at a lot of things and a lot of movies, but idk if i have one that i would go to to cry.

(if this question was about shows, my answer would be the s5 finale to merlin. or the s4 finale to mr. robot.)

9. guilty pleasure movie?

this one is super hard bc there are varying degrees of guilty pleasure, but i'm gonna go with the 2015 live action Cinderella. there's something so gentle and comforting about that movie to me, and i'm not gonna lie the 'lavender's blue' lullaby brings me to tears every time i hear it.

43. which movie do you quote the most?

GREAT question. i think the most quotable movie i have ever watched is The Princess Bride (come on, a classic), however i think the one i quote the most is Star Wars: A New Hope. like the whole movie has quotable lines, but i specifically gravitate towards ones where luke is being whiny lol

"bUt i wAs gOiNg to ToScHe StAtiOn tO pIcK uP sOmE pOwEr ConvErTeRs"

"...☝️i care"

"3PO oH wHeRE cOuLD hE bE??"

whiny luke is my favorite lmaoooo

thanks for the ask, pal ❤️❤️❤️

[transitranger327]

Star Wars (1977) characters’ MTG color identities

Han Solo is Rakdos (Black-Red), if not Mono-Black

Luke Skywalker is Lorehold (Red-White, and yes specifically Lorehold not Boros)

Princess Leia is Jeskai (Blue-Red-White)

Chewbacca is Golgari (Black-Green)

Obi-Wan is Ojutai (White-Blue, and yes Ojutai not Azorius)

Darth Vader is Grixis (Blue-Black-Red)

Grand Moff Tarkin is Mono-White (he has a small Black splash in some other media)

C-3PO is Azorius (White-Blue)

R2-D2 is Izzet (Blue-Red)

What the colors mean for non-MTG players:

White: Order, Unity

Blue: Knowledge, Progress

Black: Ambition, Tenacity

Red: Emotion, Expression

Green: Nature, Acceptance

Despite the Light Side and Dark Sides of the Force being defined as the Selfless-Selfish dichotomy, same as White and Black mana, lots of Imperials are White-based and a lot of Rebels have some amount of Black in their color identity (I’d argue the alliance is Mardu aka Red-White-Black).

If y’all want, I can do another one for each Star Wars media.

[brionysea]

i know as much about star wars as steve does, but this isn't the only time that ewoks are mentioned

even within the same episode, teddy bears come up again, and they're linked to mike. el was unable to get the teddy bear off the shelf but mike could

the ties to mike go further back into season 3 too

anyway. back to ewoks

i wondered if it was meant for el, will, or mike, because they're all kind of the core characters, but the cut from mike's face straight to the tv makes me think while it involves all of them, it's for him

also, with how similar joyce and mike are, does that mean mike forgot something? something specific to him, not just will's birthday, because everyone else forgot that too

with how thorough stranger things is, i'm sure there's something in the specific cartoon shown, but i don't particularly want to watch it, so here's what i found from the star wars wiki for ewoks

the very first thing on the wiki immediately sounds like mike

"The Ewoks are fierce warriors. The top of the food chain on a savage planet!" "Okay, first of all, they live on a moon, not a planet. Second of all—"

the "not a planet" aspect also reminds me of dustin starting to wonder what the true nature of the upside down even is in season 4 before he got convinced it was irrelevant

endor -> the upside down

ewoks -> demo-creatures

leia befriended an ewok (like dustin befriended dart — "that's like saying just because someone's from the death star, doesn't make them bad," mike says about it, because he's at the start of his character arc about learning that the world(s) don't operate within a black and white moral framework) and went to their camp as a guest while her friends got taken prisoner by a different group

When these Ewoks saw the protocol droid C-3PO, they identified him as the Golden One who they believed had brought balance to Endor millennia before. Despite Wicket and Organa's protests, the Ewok shaman Logray attempted to sacrifice them as a feast in C-3PO's honor. Skywalker's use of the Force to make C-3PO levitate combined with the droid's warnings soon changed Chief Chirpa's mind, however.

this is just. interesting. it makes me think of "without heart, we all fall apart" in reference to mike, and jason talking about how everything that's happened with the upside down have been ritualistic sacrifices. the one who stopped them from happening being the person with the force (el) matches up too

i don't see how anyone besides mike could be the golden one. he understands the upside down so intuitively that it's suspicious, it refuses to hurt him even though doing so would disable the rightside up's team immensely, and he started off as the golden child who audiences loved before slowly falling off the pedastal. there's also the fact that the little teddy bear he couldn't afford (yet?) was gold

That night, C-3PO told the Council of Elders the adventures of the Rebel heroes. The Ewoks accepted the Rebels into their tribe, and allied themselves to their cause. The Ewoks helped in the ground battle to destroy the Imperial shield generator on the forest floor, and their primitive weapons felled the stormtroopers and the scout walkers of the Empire, although they took many losses to Imperial blaster fire.

so basically, the golden one unionised the ewoks against the evil empire. mike unionises the creatures of the upside down against vecna