#but i still think theres a good to fair chance that when he was called in to the writers room to discuss show!armand and to

[kindaorangey]

well i'm comforted by the knowledge that book!armand has some faith in the christian god (and, like, that this faith is vital to his character) because it means theres absolutely no fucking way they'd just do that one-to-one in the show and so we're one step closer to an exploration of show!armand's relationship with islam

[soaplickerrr]

Accidentally Coincidental

CHAPTER 5 (click pictures for better quality)

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a/n: updates will be slow, i'm working on a pretty long fic on my side blog.

(THIS CHAPTER TAKES PLACE LIKE A WEEK BEFORE JJAM CAME OUT)

LETS ALSO PRETEND LIKE YOU GET NOTIFIED WHEN A PRIV ACC QUOTES YOUR TWEET, YOU JUST CANT SEE WHOS ACC IT WAS.

pairing: Idol!Kim Seungmin x Fem!CollegeStudent!Reader

genre: contemporary romance

SMAU

synopsis: Y/N, a regular college student accidentally texts Seungmin, a star in the K-pop group Stray Kids while trying to text her Ex, Soonyoung to come pick up his things, leading to an unexpected connection that blossoms into a heartfelt romance.

ignore time stamps and typos

THERES A WRITTEN PART SO DONT JUST SCROLL THROUGH THE PICTURES🙏🙏

Seungmin puts his phone down, a full-teethed smile spreading across his lips, his heart lighter than it’s been in days. The conversation with Bang Chan had gone better than he had hoped. He knew it was a big ask—one that could have easily backfired—but he trusted Chan, and in the end, his trust was well-placed. Seungmin leans back in his chair, his mind already wandering to the possibilities. He imagines the look on her face if she gets the opportunity, the way her eyes might light up when she realizes her dream could be within reach. It’s a feeling of contentment, of knowing he’s done something good for someone who deserves it.

While Seungmin is lost in his thoughts, Bang Chan is already taking action. He wastes no time, picking up his phone and dialing his manager’s number. The phone barely rings twice before the manager picks up, his tone professional as always.

“Chan, what’s up?” the manager asks, his voice carrying that hint of curiosity that always comes when Bang Chan calls unexpectedly.

“I need to set up a meeting,” Chan says, cutting straight to the point. “I want to talk to the editing team manager, JYP, and the CEO.”

There’s a brief pause on the other end of the line, the manager processing the request. “That’s a pretty serious meeting, Chan. What’s this about?”

“There’s someone I think might be a great fit for our editing team,” Bang Chan explains, his tone steady but urgent. “I know two people from the team quit last week, and we’re a bit short-handed. I want to see if she can step in and help. But first, she needs to be tested—see if she’s got what it takes.”

The manager is silent for a moment, considering the proposal. It’s not every day that one of the members takes such a personal interest in something like this. “You’re sure about this, Chan? This is a pretty big deal.”

“I am,” Chan replies without hesitation. “She’s got potential, and I think we should at least give her a chance to prove herself. If she passes the test, great. If not, then we’ll know. But I want to make sure we give her a fair shot.”

“Alright,” the manager finally says, his voice carrying a note of resolve. “I’ll talk to them and see when we can schedule a meeting. We’ll discuss it further there.”

“Thanks,” Bang Chan says, relief washing over him. “I appreciate it.”

“No problem, Chan. I’ll get back to you once I have more details.”

As the call ends, Bang Chan lets out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. He knows the road ahead isn’t a guarantee, but he’s done what he can. Now, it’s up to the higher-ups and, ultimately, up to her to prove she’s got what it takes. He hopes, for Seungmin’s sake—and maybe a little for hers—that this all works out. There’s something about this situation that feels right, like the pieces are starting to fall into place.

He leans back in his chair, glancing at the clock. It’s late, but his mind is still buzzing with the day’s events. He thinks of Seungmin happiness. That alone makes it worth it. Bang Chan isn’t one to take risks lightly, especially when it involves careers, but there’s something about Seungmin’s trust that makes him want to try.

As he sits there, Bang Chan’s thoughts drift to the upcoming meeting. He knows it won’t be easy to convince everyone, but he’s prepared to argue his case. He believes in Seungmin’s judgment, and he’s willing to put his own reputation on the line to give this girl a shot. It’s not just about filling a spot on the editing team—it’s about helping someone chase their dream, just like he did once.

The night stretches on, but Bang Chan doesn’t mind. He’s already planning his approach, the arguments he’ll use, the points he’ll make. There’s a quiet determination in his eyes, the kind that only comes when something truly matters. He’s ready to fight for this, and for Seungmin. Because at the end of the day, that’s what being a leader is about—trusting your team and doing whatever it takes to support them.

This feels very empty for some reason 🧐🧐

TAGLIST - CLOSED - if your name is in pink, i couldn’t tag you.

🏷️: @disasterousdangerousbi @akitfffr @alexateurmom @jeonginplsholdmyhand @sunarins-whore @feelikecinderella @minniesuperversee @istglevi-gotmesimping @dreamerwasfound @whiteghostt @your-favorite-pirate @pnutbutter-n-j-elyy @chuuyaobsessed @ihrtlix @onlyhyunjin @jisuperboard @dazzlingjade @sellomaybe @lixiesbrownies333 @kkamismom12 @iatemycatfreckles @puppyminnnie @imperfectlyperfectprincess1 @ayyonoona @missvanjii @jc003 @dontwannaexsist

[sticks-stones-sonic-insanity]

I JUST FINISHED SONK ADVENTURE 2 IM NOT OKAY OMG

The scene with Shadow falling to earth was funny at first and it all happened so fast i was still trying to wrap my head around it. Ppl talk about that scene a lot which theyre so right for, but i need to talk about the scenes after because oh my god they broke me!?!??!

Sonic, coming back onto the ark, completely silent. Everyone asking if Shadow made it back and he just slowly shakes his head without a word.

The scene where Sonic gives Rouge Shadow's inhibitior ring hold so much more weight to me after actually playing the game: In the short time they knew each other, Shadow saved Rouge's life. Twice. This is the only possession she has to remember him by. Knuckles asks her what shes going to do now and she actually stops to reflect and remarks how shes thinking of changing jobs, something else on her mind now(What exactly shes referring to in this moment isnt stated but theres a fair few connections to draw there). After almost getting killed during a heist and never getting a chance to thank the guy who saved her from it, that's a pretty good and strangely mature call to make from a writing standpoint. This whole scene has a similar feeling like that, like the jokes and the extravagance thats typical of the cutscenes have really been toned down with intention.

This one genuinely shocked me, and im really surprised i havent come across anything about it yet because the scene between Eggman and Tails was actually super deep?? There are a lot of different Sonic medias as far as I im aware that have touched on the paralells between Eggman and Tails: their small similarities and how well they work together when they have to, but the scene here really stuck out to me. Eggman is talking about how much he admired his grandfather as a child, how much his work inspired him to learn and create and strive to be great like him, drifting off to question whether or not he really wanted to see them all fall. Tail's response is very chipper and optimistic, but i really like the idea of Eggman having almost this turning point here, having to face something so saddening as watching someone you love curse the world and everyone on it(including you). After arguably some of the most dangerous and threatening feats have been accomplished by Eggman in this game as the story's primary antagonist, is this moment a nod to him maybe stopping to think about what he's done? Im amazed by how much meaning can be taken from these few seconds of dialogue!!

Finally, the last two moments. Amy, despite having had her own short heart to heart with Shadow before the final battle and ultimately being the one to spurr Shadow on to fight alongside Sonic and the others, doesn't seem as upset by Shadows death as Sonic is. This is genuinely, in my limited knowledge of Sonic media, one of the only instances i have seen Sonic be thoroughly shaken up by something and brushed it off when someone asks him whats wrong. In most cases, he's just relatively unfazed from an emotional standpoint like that, so theres nothing to brush off in the first place. But here, the ever-yapping blue blur remains silent for a while, just staring at Earth in a similar paralell to how Shadow used to. It isn't until Amy comes by that he looks away. Its the really subtle details here that get me: Sonic doesn't look or respond to her right away. There's a prominent pause of silence before he turns to her and says its nothing, switching the topic immediately to rush her along. Sonic, typically impatient and eager to move to the next adventure, slows down and is the last to leave the deck, delivers the farewell line to end the game. Again, the contrast in how slowly and soft he speaks here in comparison to literally anything else he says in the game is insane. The pause between "Shadow" and "the Hedgehog" is still very funny to me and im not lost on how the delivery does end up being chopped up quite goofy like that, but if that isnt an absolutely insane way to end off the game with such a somber, emotional moment...

Sonadow or no sonadow, take it as you will, its undeniable how impactful this adventure in particular is to Sonic. How much Shadow meant to him by the end of the game. How much his sacrifice meant. I really see his discussion with Rouge as both a way to comfort her, and to comfort himself. To say out loud how heroic and brave he'd seen Shadow to be, regardless of the intention that came from his creation. Sonic is big on freedom and giving people the opportunity to live how they want to, and Shadow's sacrifice in that regard means even more to him. He had just come to understand what he had truly promised Maria he'd do, joined Sonic whole-heartedly to help save the planet, and never got to experience anything beyond that. Given Eggmans continuous antangonistic streak at that point (I'm not fully aware of the other villain's Sonic had faced up until that point), it's rare that Sonic actually gets to see someone who opposed him change for the better!! And not only was Shadow one of the first to do so, but he was a speedy teen hedgehog!!! Just like Sonic himself!!! Its like Shadow said, there was so much more to them that they never got to find out about each other!! The fact that Shadow gave up all of that possibility, all of his own personal freedom to help Sonic save the planet and the freedom of all the people on it? That hits. HARD.

Im not familiar with the full canon of how Sonic actually managed to get one of Shadow's inhibitior rings to give to Rouge, as he's actually not shown in any scene taking them off during the final battle(i actually dont even think their mechanics are properly explained which is more confusing but yk), but getting into more headcanony, sonadow adjacent space for a second? I like to think Shadow actually took two of his rings off/had two break off before he fell. Sonic gave one to Rouge, and secretly kept the other for himself. He obviously didn't want his friends to ask him more questions about how he was feeling, so he hid it in his quills before he greeted them back on the ark. Shadow ended up meaning a lot to Sonic, and it's really interesting to think about what was running through Sonic's mind when all was said and done.

Uhhh anyways good game very very infuriating at times but very good game i have a true taste for the appeal of Sonic games now and i want to play them all. If you actually made it this far, thank you for reading my silly sonk rant! If you have any information you know of to patch the spaces where I'm lacking or just want to discuss your own thoughts on the ending feel free!! Have a good day or night wherever you are :]

[lazaruspiss]

Begging for jaydick headcanons because I'm also a Jaydick hoe 🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️

where do i begin. horny? horny probably.

Dick bottoms like 90% of the time but as far as any dom/sub things go those two are the switches to end all switches. both need to be told they're a Good Boy while getting the soul fucked out of em and both need to dote on the other and remind them how much they like (love) them.

i think they'd also both have a bit of a sadistic streak, but Dick is the only masochistic one. i don't think Jason would be too big on being roughed up in a sexual context, i just can't picture it. no physical roughness, no particularly intense degradation, but that just means Dick has to get creative lol. though on the subject Dick also wouldn't /like/ feeding his own sadism.

i have a fair few sadist Dick thoughts based of off the times in canon where he hurts someone, recognizes that he enjoys it, and express at least some level of disapproval towards himself for feeling that way. no one really talks about how Dick does seem to, yknow, like fighting. not bc he's some angry violent asshole or bc it's violence for the greater good, but just bc it scratches the ever persistent adrenaline need in his brain.

hmmmm. Dick getting fed up with Jason being too thoughtful. we're gonna tread a tiny bit into projection territory but stick with me. when someone spends too much time being used by people or constantly shaping themselves around what others want it can kinda fuck up their head. when someone approaches without wanting that, without wanting them to shape themself around what they want, it can be a shock. Jason so aggressively wants Dick to be independent and true to himself that it's something they fight over, bc Dick's entire life has revolved around serving others and Jason can't just uproot all that by telling him his entire life is a lie and that he should reevaluate everything about himself and everyone around him. ok yeah im having flashbacks to the jaydick thing i wrote forever ago. (x)

they can both cook and take turns planning meals, with one making sure to call/message the other if they get busy with something so that they can adjust their plans around whatevers happening. i can also see cooking being a bit personal and intimate to them. Jason sticks to eating shitty fast food most of the time and never really cared about proper meals when he was on his own, but now he has someone to come home to. someone to eat with. he cares a lot about cooking well because he wants to show without words just how much it means to him to have Dick around. Dick has been shown to cook for people when they come over, so i think it'd just feel like basic courtesy to him. some sort of standard politeness to feed and welcome his guests if he can. he wears himself thin a lot of the time and doesn't tend to make an effort to cook when it's just him, but when he does cook he enjoys it. repetitive motions, straightforward instructions, relaxing sounds and smells, cooking is fun. seeing Jason gorge himself is also very heartwarming, and more filling than any meal.

theyd have a mutual agreement to, /if/ they have kids, raise them non-religious. between Jason "possibly catholic but also died and so it's complicated" Todd and Dick "my religion is Batman" Grayson, they really don't wanna pass on any of that to any theoretical kids.

on the subject of child rearing still: i think Dick would be against sending them to any kind of private school. he had a very not good time there and thinks that if theres gonna be a chance for their kid to be picked on either way than he'd rather not waste the money. if anything he thinks private school would be worse, because all those shitty rich kids know each other and each others parents and he'd really prefer his kid not being beat up and called slurs bc of who their parents are. he'd rather homeschool if their schedules allowed it but he recognizes that would be too impractical. Jason would have more mixed feelings, bc there can be a bit of an advantage in the long run from having gone to a reputable and recognizable school, but he also isn't sure it's worth having an argument about when chances are the kids gonna learn all the important stuff from them anyways. there is a very tense conversation to be had before enrolling their baby in kindergarten.

they have a few too many conversations about theoretically having kids for guys who don't have the guts to just go for it. waiting for an orphan to drop in their laps like theyre fuckin batman. idiots.

they're a bit worried about the Titans' reaction but the worst that happens is Wally giving an exaggerated sigh as he gives Donna her well earned 50 bucks. everyone saw it coming, and you two are hopeless. Wally is excited to be Dick's best man for realsies this time, and Jason is on the receiving end of a few too many shovel talks. by the time Roy gets to him it's turned into

Roy: yeah i dont need to say it do i. blah blah hurt him and ill kill you and all that. congrats on the boyfriend.

Jason: oh cmon, i thought you would at least have some faith in me.

Roy: bros before hoes, sorry man.

Jason: ... excuse me?

Gar's version of a shovel talk is just turning into a grizzly bear and doing the "ive got my eyes on you" gesture. anyways Bruce is invited to the wedding on the condition that his assigned seat is next to the Riddler and he has to pretend that Brucie has gotten real into riddles lately. he has to laugh at Eddie's jokes under the threat of never being allowed to contact Dick or Jason again. Jason suggested it bc he thought it would be funny, Dick rolled his eyes but agreed bc it means Bruce can't corner him to berate him about his life choices.

[narzissenkreuz-ordo]

im not gonna go into too much detail since its my business that doesnt need to aired out in the open

but this weekend was absolutely worst case scenario. i was no contact with my father for 3 years before he contacted us shortly after my mom's cancer surgery and because me and my sibling were both so vulnerable we decided to give it one last chance.

I made a mistaking thinking things would be different, he has his fair share of trauma and one of the first things he said to us on the phone a few months ago that no matter what he loves us and supports us with 'living our lives they way we want' and that was not the case at all

he brought his new wife and step daughter with him ( i realize now that he guilt tripped me into letting them come even when i said it should just be us) and i'm pretty sure they have NO idea about our baggage

he just acted like nothing had happened the past 3 years. we didnt have a conversation lasting more than a minute at a time. his new normal family didnt even talk to us or try to get to know us, i still dont even know what his wife's job is or his step daughter's college major is

they made me cry on the ferry to seattle yesterday, trying to convince me and brother to just get odd jobs or find work online rather than go through with disability benefits and at that point i just mentally clocked out. once we were out of the car in seattle i decided to stay at a near by cafe so they could go to tourist-y stuff (i do not do good in big crowds) and i just ended up ubering to the ferry terminal and went home on my own. And i have not talked to them since, he know i was upset and feeling sick and didn't even send me a text asking how he was doing. instead he dropped my sibling back home in the afternoon, didn't even take him out to eat, and then sent us pictures of the drinks he got at this local cider place that me and griffin were dying to try out. he was 20 minutes away and went out with his new family and took pictures to shows. i repeat. he was 20 minutes away from my house.

so i cut my losses and ended up writing a long ass letter last night. i wasnt mean, calling him a horrible person or calling him names. just how i felt so utterly unimportant to him and had no idea why he even reached out to us again, i told him i felt like he played a horrible cruel joke on me and brother

and thats that i guess. i was absolutely appalled by his step daughter and wife. I have never met such a group of entitled people before, the two of them are 1st gen ukrainian immigrants. They were absolutely disgusted that there were public needle disposal stations and pro-palestinian signage in the area. I cannot believe that they experienced the horror and pain of the current on-going conflict of their home on such a personal level yet roll their eyes at the current genocide happening in gaza. 'im glad the college protesting fad isn't popular on tiktok anymore' 'no one talks about ukraine anymore because of this' like. absolutely abhorrent.

so yippee i guess i have my final closure!!!!! theres no more second chances (this was like, the 10th chance at this point the past 20 years lol)

ok i realize i went into Too much detail but i feel better posting this thank god

[bihansthot]

Question, how comes everyone forgets all the good Bi-Han has done as soon as his death is mentioned? Hanzo has killed people, repeatedly over and over again, due to his vengeance but nobody outright calls him evil.

Bi-Han’s backstory is incredibly tragic once you think about it, but its not nearly as focused on when referring to his character. Hanzo’s tragedy is his character while Bi-Han’s tragedy is more of a “fun fact” category.

I just don’t understand why people think Bi-Han is so evil and irredeemable. Even in the intros for MK1, yes he was being arrogant and rude but that doesnt mean he’s irredeemable? Asshole ≠ Evil. But if you check the comments everyones like “theres the evilness, cant wait for noob saibot”, as if Bi-Han has 0 positive traits.

And also, how come people ignore what Scorpion did because Bi-Han was a “evil” person. He was hardly evil and he was on the path to redemption, just like Scorpion not too long ago. Scorpion killed Bi-Han brutally over a crime he did not commit, thats wrong no matter how much you try and break your back to excuse. Yes he promised to protect Kuai Liang as payment, but barely anybody addresses it in the games.

Even this quote from the intro dialogues

Noob: I was killed unjustly

Raiden: and for that, Raiden lost my trust

Noob: that is not justice.

You can TELL that Noob is still pissed at his death and at everyone for suddenly having amnesia over it.

All of this! ALL OF THIS!! No one ever talks about Scorpion being a cold blooded assassin too but like spoilers the Shirai Ryu are not the good guys. They’re assassins just like the Lin Kuei. Just because Hanzo had a wife and child does not mean he was a good man just like being a dick doesn’t man Bi-Han a bad man. He’s had an unimaginable life full of pain, suffering, gore and death from a very, very young age how can you not expect him to be a bit of a prick? It’s most likely his defense mechanism for dealing with all the horror he’s seen in his life. They’re two sides of the same coin. I don’t know people who think Bi-Han is evil rub me the wrong way tbh and I assume the majority of them have never played or watched a play through of MKM: SZ, which I really encourage everyone to do at some point. Is he kind of dumb and easy to manipulate? Yes. Is he evil? No. If he was evil he wouldn’t have gone after the amulet to stop Shinnok, he also wouldn’t have been worried about his soul when Raiden mentions it corrupted. Bi-Han literally saves Earthrealm from Shinnok and some how he’s the bad guy?? Whereas Scorpion never saves anyone and he’s a good guy?? Make it make sense. Please note I’m not trying to shit on Hanzo I’m just pointing out that he has done really bad shit too but he’s not held accountable for it.

Another thing I think we need to point out is Scorpion’s inability to control his rage always leads to a bad situation. Quan Chi manipulates him, he kills Bi-Han, boom now he has Noob hunting down his ass. Gets revenge on Quan Chi, now everyone who was a revenant has no chance to become human again, he dooms so many kharacters to live as mindless servants, but please tell me about him being your precious sunflower who’s never done anything wrong. ….I’m sorry that was kind of mean.

All I’m trying to get at is that it’s not fair that Bi-Han is labeled as evil just because he’s an arrogant douche. Scorpion has done just as bad of shit if not worse things than Bi-Han has so if you’re going to insist Bi-Han is evil then you have to admit Scorpion is too.

Again please don’t take this as me hating on or dragging Scorpion, that’s not my intention, it’s just to show that no matter how kind they seem an assassin is still an assassin and does horrible things.

Also Noob being salty is totally justified and I’d be salty AF too.

[marinerainbow]

I have an idea!! XDD Feel free to ignore me.

Smartass is going on vacation!

I am making him go, and Poppy as well. They are gonna have a well-deserved rest, oh yes.

Now... who looks after the rest of the Toon Patrol? Does Wheezy or Greasy do the finances? Does Greasy think he's boss now? Is he good at it? What if Poppy left Penny and Percy with Psycho? XD

Be free to ignore me but I thought this was fun XDD

Oh... Oh my god, I love this so much 🤣🤣🤣

Ok ok, I need to put this under the cut, because this got LONG.

First of all, I love how you said you're making them both go. Like they have no choice in the matter 😆😆😆 You're already packing their suitcases, Poppy is protesting HERSELF going because, yes she does agree that Smartass needs a break, but she also knows that somebody RESPONSIBLE has to be here to make sure the household doesn't implode while Smarty is gone, and he's probably already looking for places they can go- preferably anywhere that has a '2 for the price of 1' deal.

Maybe they'd go to the beach? Poppy does enjoy the beach, and the sun and waves can be pretty relaxing. She can even help Smartass pick out a swimsuit if he doesn't have one! ^^ (if they're going on vacation together, Poppy is INSISTING he ditch the suit. He can't fully relax if he's in work clothes).

Though her being strict on his attire is fine... As long as he gets to implement the 'No phone calls' rule. It sounds bad but listen- Poppy is no doubt going to be fretting over what's happening in the household, especially if her kids are involved, and she'd probably call them at least ten times a day. Smartass not only wants her to relax not have to deal with that, but he KNOWS that if she calls any of the weasels, the phone will eventually get passed onto him, and now he HAS to do his job WHILE HE'S SUPPOSED TO BE ON VACATION. He ain't having none of that 😆

As for who looks after the rest of the Toon Patrol? Definitely not Psycho or Stupid 😆 I think Greasy would get that role easily because he's the second in command; he's got to have some sense of responsibility now that Smartass is gone and theres no Poppy to worry about everything... Even though all it takes is a pretty lady to walk by and he's gone 😆

In that case, Wheezy is secretly in charge too. Though he's dumping the finances on Greasy. Especially if/when Greasy starts pulling the 'I'm the boss now' card, "You're the boss, eh? Well, this is your job."

Oh... Oh good lord, the twins left alone with their dad... This isn't going to end well 😂

For starters, Poppy is NOT going to let Psycho take care of the kids by himself. She's just like, "Honey, I love you, and I know you love the kids too... But this morning you saw the milk was expired and drank it anyway."

"... Ok-"

"And then you claimed it was 'safe enough' and tried to pour it in Penny and Percy's cereal."

"To be fair, those expiration dates can be misleading."

"And that right there is exactly why Wheezy is going to be in charge."

So yeah, no, she doesn't trust Psycho on his own with the kids. She knows that their house will be burnt to the ground if she leaves him alone with them 😆 Stupid is also in the same boat as Psycho, and she ain't gonna let Greasy take the chance to try to pick up chicks with her kids. So Wheezy gets to be the second dad. Greasy is responsible for the gang, Wheezy is responsible for the family.

Hopefully, with enough preparation and planning on Smarty's and Poppy's part, their vacation will go without a hitch and everyone will still be alive when they come back 😆

Thank you so much for sending this in!! I loved this so much XDDD If you get anymore ideas, please, do not be afraid to send them in!!

[winterdusktales]

man i really thought the dynamic of the three leads in oasis would be somewhat similar to the three leads in chicago typewriter or my country. well at least that's what the first few eps seemed to be going for

but it became just one of those many annoying kdrama love triangles bcs of the 2nd lead. idek where the plot is going atp

i still like the drama tho. cuz im a sucker for angst no matter how frustrating it gets. and i dont rlly mind where the plot goes. i just wish the three leads maintained their unbreakable bond no matter how complicated their circumstances turn out

like with the 2nd male leads in chicago typewriter and my country, as frustrating as it may be, i still understood why they had to make the choices they made. i wouldnt defend them but i get them. i loooove the 2nd lead in chicago typewriter no matter what and the three leads are still among my top fav kdrama trios. i hated the 2nd lead in my country but i get why he had to turn to the bad side. like theres an actual depth in his characterization

but with cheolwoong its rlly just immaturity, jealousy, and insecurity.

(get ready for a cheolwoong hate essay)

hes still the same highschool boy who would come home crying bcs doohak ranked 1st on top of the whole class. the same boy who was competing "fair and square" to win the heart of their highschool crush. the same boy who would make other ppl do the dirty work for him cuz hes a pretentious coward

the way he is so ready to throw away his lifelong brotherhood with doohak for his highschool crush who he knew for a few yrs and who never even led him on to make him think he has any chance with her

the doohak who he called his hyung his entire life. the doohak who did everything he told him to until highschool. the doohak who would fight his fights. the doohak who /involuntarily/ went to prison for a crime HE COMMITTED just bcs he begged him to tho he knew it would ruin doohaks life. like id be so ashamed to even show up in front of him. if he asks for something, id do it right away without considering it as a payment for my debt cuz nothing could make up for what doohak had to go through bcs of me

not to mention doohak also singlehandedly saved him (again... for the nth time) against that group of college students without any help from anyone

he couldnt even make up his mind if he wishes to save or betray doohak like how he remained neutral with the student activists vs gov thing in his college days. like if ure gonna be the bad guy, just be the bad guy and let me hate u entirely

like u can tell he still cares for doohak (reason why i thought theyd have this unbreakable brotherhood even when they act like enemies in front of eo but theyd come running to save eo when needed to cuz they know deep down they love eo like the male leads in the 2 dramas i mentioned above) but i guess he doesnt care for him enough to let him be happy after all those years of suffering (which he caused)

doohaks friendship with his gang members is even more precious than theirs. like i would trust any of the gang members with doohaks life but not cheolwoong

also the lack of self awareness??? he always brings up doohaks flaws when hes actually way worse

anyway i hope the writers dont give him redemption arc just for the sake of giving everyone a good ending. i want him miserable and i want to hate him until the end. when he finds out the truth abt his birth, i want him IN SEVERE PAIN. i want him to be so ashamed to even go near doohak. on top of that, i want jungshin cutting him off her life for good and giving him the same disgusted face she gave doohak when she found out hes part of a gang. I WANT HIM SUFFERING

and give doohak and jungshin their happy ending ffs! they literally just want a peaceful life together without all these makjang drama. theyve been through soooo much since they were young and until now. enough is enough

[fiberglassandflowers]

Tell the people about the letwos

alrighty! fair warning its not good in there theres some not good family behavior in there. under a read more its probably gonna be kinda long

okay so let me set the scene. its like the late 90s/early 2000s. trip just moved with his mom and sister to the suburbs around 6 ish years after their dad died. he's like 9 her sister is 5

pretty much the letwos moved to mary bell because of a funny little thing called laplace's inc. there's some stuff involved with that, but pretty much it's the heaven business and their mom deborah/debbie/deb is the worst and also the most catholic person you've ever met and you can probably fill in the blanks there.

when trip is around 13 he ends up getting really really sick with. something i dont really know what but its not good and its deadly and its not looking good for him. at the awesome age of 14 years old they're still fighting it and she thinks Hey you know what im gonna go on a walk. so he does and omg whats this whos that guy?? anyway its mortimer and it just kinda goes like

"hey youre dying right"

"......yeah?"

"ok what if i told you. that you didn't have to do that if you just shook my hand about it"

"what" "i mean i'll take your soul but thats no biggie right. i mean you'll stay alive you'll live the rest of your natural life" (<- they're like the grim reaper they can do that) "oh. yeah thats no biggie i guess"

[they shake hands]

"shit dude i forgot to tell you. if i take your soul you have to stay here in the town you hate its like this whole thing"

"WHAT."

"you can pull your hand away though i won't get mad"

"i feel like it would be too late now anyway"

"yeah lol"

its like this whole thing about 'would you rather die or live a life you hate' yk. oh also trip wasn't like totally completely hopeless either. he could have maybe lived through it [although the chances were low] and now she has to spend the rest of her life thinking about like, what if she didn't make the deal and he ended up being fine. lol.

okay flash forward its 2008 trip is 16 going on 17 [something something sound of music reference] and cotard [his sister] is 13. gonna go more in depth with this elsewhere but pretty much trip and cotard try running away from mary bell/their shitty ass mom. and like trip can't leave mary bell but technically he's never tried before and maybe if they go with someone it'll work [spoiler: it doesn't]

trip is like, kind of aware that it might not work out for him, but if it didn't she thought cotard at least could leave. and cotard doesn't either because she doesnt want to leave trip behind. there's some other stuff that i haven't mentioned but this attempt def results in some like stricter regulations around their house. they were already realllly sheltered kids [homeschooled, isolated from their peers, generally only taught what their mom wanted them to know] and this just kind of sealed the deal on all that

anyways then trip moves out like two years later and cotard's slightly bitter about that but understanding yk, like good on you for leaving but also now i have to deal with all this alone. cotard moves out as well a few years later and her and trip lose contact even more. she still lives in mary bell she just lives on the complete opposite side of town. i like to think that she gets out a fair amount though, like traveling and stuff [not for very long though since mary bell kind of does that whole moving thing]

honestly i really don't know enough as i should about cotard she's like fully fleshed out in my head but i really can't think of anything specifically about her. like i know she takes a while warming up to people, like quiet at first but gets louder as you get to know her [wow just like how the song goes from being quiet to being loud]. but i need to work on fleshing her out some more i really do

anyways. six years after trip moves out debbie dies and ohhhh haha that's so weird that she died of blood loss when the mayor is a vampire. thats so strange im sure those two things aren't related at all [they are btw vannie killed her].

annnnnd i think thats all? i feel like there's stuff im forgetting and i dont think this was as detailed as i was hoping but its at least the basics

[papirouge]

Ugh, believe me, i was also cringing at many of the comments on those threads. Supposedly, theres this trend of redhead characters being changed to being black, like Annie, Starfire, Mary Jane, or April from the ninja turtles.

Oh, and speaking of such, they were also whining because april is gonna be black in a new TMNT movie... She already was in the newest cartoon, but they wanted her to go back to being white. Also, whining about her being fat and unattractive. We're talking about a kid here, since shes younger in this incarnation, so why even care if shes hot 😭 I bet half these dudes dont even care about TMNT... To be fair, the TMNT fans did raise some hell when shredder was gonna be white in a movie, since hes originally japanese, but i doubt they're even the same ppl.

The little mermaid thing is just very sad. I feel specially bad for the actress, specially after finding out shes just 19! I hope shes just ignoring the comments, because some people can be really cruel. Even some latinos were against the decision - i think theyre quite divided, but many were making racist memes and all. I guess we cant always relay in 'poc solidarity' or whatever.

Another good point you raise is how the japanese and many other east asian countries don't care about the white race or sees them as equal (once a friend of mine actually got targeted when she went to Korea). Also, I remember reading somewhere that the japanese public liked the appearence of younger white people, basically pre-puberty, but disliked the adults, specially the men as they lose the 'soft features' from infancy.

And youre right, i really shouldnt be visiting these places: they only make me sad or angry. I dont know why sometimes i cant help but hateread those threads. When people are behind a screen, they really can spew the most vile shit thats on their minds. Like they always say, just dont read the comment section...

As I already said: every single person remotely bothered by the skin color, sexual orientation, gender or attractiveness of FICTIONAL CHARACTERS is way too old to watch/play whatever show or video game they are from. Period.

That being said, I think there's a psyop of Black characters being shoved into random thing to get White simpletons mad and seethe about White erasure. Of course, they'll never bother looking into WHO produce those show or pick these Black artists to be featured in them..... Whites need to sort between each other their obsession to use POC as props for their agendas.

Black people never bothered about The Little Mermaid or TMNT like that....sure, this (positive) representation is great and that's why the community got hyped (and let's be honest, seeing some Whites seething fueled even more fire bc one thing we Black ppl be good at is being petty lol) but to act like Black people/wokistan are actively trying to erase White people, heterosexuality, masculinity or whatever is ridiculous. Again: they have to go after the higher-ups responsible of those casting choice (not Twitter randos) - and chances are they arent Black, non-straight or female¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

Taking a peep at top companies CEO entirely debunks the oppression complex narrative of antiwoke acting like the statuquo was under attack.... It's not. They just want to play the victim - while pretending to fight wokistan victim culture 🙄

Halle is perfect to play a mermaid. She had those slightly alienish features (her eyes are quite far apart lo') but still conventionally pretty. I can hardly think of any actress having the same energy. Maybe Ana Taylor Joy, but she's now botched and is an anachan which may sparks controversy if she ever gets casted in a Disney production....

And I'm absolutely not surprised to see Latinos hating lmao Latinos are huuuuge negrophobe and I'm side eyeing them so bad whenever they try to leverage their non Whiteness calling White "gringos" when they are themselves pale and are descendants of European colonizers in south America 💀 I mean look Argentinians priding themselves "not looking like a Disney movie" (= not visible Blacks in their population).....those people Looooove aligning themselves with White whenever it comes to diss Black people. Therefore Black people are extremely distrustful of Latinos anyway ; we see how they treat they darkskined citizens

POC solidarity is a myth. Unmelanated non-Whites hate actual people of COLOR, and all races look down on Black Africans...That's why I'm foremost defending MY people.

Yeah, there's this misconception of thinking that bc they dye their hair blonde and wear color contact, East Asian want to 'look White'. i think they definitely fancy the diversity of White ppl's phenotype such as the eye and hair color, but for pretty much all the rest, they cater to their own specific beauty standards (especially when it comes to bone structure and face proportion). White people tend to favor sharper bone structure while Asian are all about rounder and softer ones. I don't think Asians look up White people face structure (that make them look older and faster). This contrast was really striking with Kotakoti stunts in japanese magazines where she looked so out of place : despite her dolly blonde hair and blue eyes, she still had those strong adult Westerner features which were so different from her japanese pals' 🥴 (more soft and rounder)

East Asian beauty culture is hysterical though, and even though Asian men have softer features than Western men, their obsession with 'softness' compels them to look more soft than they naturally are. Ultimately men regardless of their race are men ; if Asian men were naturally looking like soft potatoes they wouldn't need to resort to all these procedures to look like that🥴 Men with square jawline botching themselves to have egg face shape is a crime against humanity btw. (square jawline are beautiful on both sex imo♥️)

And the internet isn't a safe space for Black women. There was a stat showing that Black women were more at risk of online harassment compared to any other demographics..... Social medias (especially Twitter) literally feed off your anger (for engagement), so thread lightly. That's why Tumblr is my favorite social media ; it's mostly an image board, and my dash is only curated with what I choose to see.

[ash-and-books]

Rating: 2/5

Book Blurb: A joyful summer romance that Jason June, New York Times bestselling author of Out of the Blue, calls "Swoon-worthy!” This is not how soccer-star Zack Martin thought his summer would go. When the captain's prank means trouble for the whole squad, Zack’s left with no choice but to take one for the team and cover for him. Now he’s trading parties and beach days for community service at a seaside conservation center—fair enough. But thanks to his new reputation, the cute intern, Chip, won’t even give him a shot. Still, Zack finds himself falling for Chip between dolphin encounters and shark costume disasters, which means he suddenly has way more on the line than he ever expected. Zack may be good at winning on the field, but can he keep up the lie without losing himself?

Review:

When a star soccer player takes the blame for a prank he didn’t do in order to cover for the captain’s prank and protect the team... things begin to spiral for him, especially when he begins his community service at a seaside conservation center in order to try and win over the cute intern who wants nothing to do with him. Zack Martin has it all: he’s a shoo in to be the next captain of the soccer team, he’s popular ( to the point where theres an 8 foot tall poster of him around school), he’s got two best friends, and he’s good looking... except things are not as great as they seem. He’s suffering under the pressure and anxiety that being popular is, he feels like at any moment he’s going to be a disappointment to someone. He’s so focused on trying to look good and pleasing everyone that he’s crumbling apart and upsetting everyone. When the captain of the soccer team pulls a prank he ask Zack to take the fall for him and Zack agrees because the guy said he’d come clean about it right before the vote for captain and that Zack would be protecting the team by doing this... except now everyone thinks he’s the kind of person who would do such a thing. it doesn’t help that he has to do community service now and now has to juggle not only practice and conditioning the team but doing community service all while trying to find time to hang out with his best friends. He also happens to run into a cute guy named Chip who turns out to be head intern at the seaside conservation and Zack immediately starts working there to try and get Chip to give him a chance despite Chip rejecting him. Zack is breaking under the lie and the fact that he is beyond stressed. He can’t seem to get along with his teammates or make them actually like him, he’s fighting with his best friends, and he doesn’t know how long he can keep lying to Chip. Can Zack sort this all out before it explodes in his face and he loses himself? This one wasn’t what I was really expecting, I was hoping for a more summer cute seaside read but what I got was the very drama filled journey of a teen who can’t seem to get his priorities straight and keeps making the wrong decisions. The romance wasn’t really there for me either, like they just didn’t seem to have that much chemistry and I honestly would have been happier with Zack ending up alone and growing from this entire experience. Zack has a lot of growing to do in this book and there was a ton of soccer teammate drama and friendship drama in it. Overall if you are looking for story about someone who is growing and learning to be themselves then this is for you, it has a light romance in it too.

*Thanks Netgalley and Inkyard Press for sending me an arc in exchange for an honest review*

[bunnypopgal]

Morality Bites

Since my last post ive been having to deal with of course more flashbacks with panic attacks that last longer than i think should be possible in humans. Most of the flashbacks are from back when i was in high school. i had to deal with a lot of homophobia and just a lot of overall bullying from my dear classmates.

Like when i would ask one of my nice classmates to tell me more about his old tech collection my other classmates ran around telling each other that i was bullying him and calling him names. Every time he would stand up to them when they tried to "comfort" him (they just wanted to talk shit about me to anyone). That was super out of his comfort zone and im still very grateful for both him telling me what was going on and him standing up for honestly the both of us. This kinda thing would happen a lot and i mean a lot. So much so that even the super quiet kids in school began to openly insult me about things i would never do. Then i would go home and get treated the same by my biological mother. I hate being "back" in that place in my life. No matter how much i would stand up for myself everything would be twisted against me over and over again so much that people would often just assume most if not all those things about me had to be the real truth. To be fair i think it didnt help i never explained my morals set fully. i never thought to at the time and now im not sure if it wouldve even changed anything at all. Everything i believe in my moral set is pretty understandable but im not sure how it looks to others looking back. my moral set is mine tho. i never would force ANYONE to adhere to it just because they dont live the same way but i would tell them i disapprove, why and that if we dont see eye to eye on this THATS FINE(depending) BUUUT that also meanings i would rather not be close/friends anymore and just be more polite acquaintances(now that im adult i can tell people to fuck off nowadays! yahoo!!)

heres the large bulk of my moral set:

i am against discrimination based on sexuality, gender, ethnicity, heritage, and non-hateful religious followers. 

i am against child abuse, child neglect, DV, SA and theres NO excuse for any of it. Monsters who do these acts are monsters and theres no going back from that.

i am against cruelty, excessive) selfishness + selflessness(these things must be in a good balance), bullying, cheating, lying (unless its a life or death situation), people refusing self-improvement/growth, being disingenuous/fake.

Kindness is a gift. Be kind, be understanding but be rational because there will always be people who want to abuse others' kindness.Its a gift you have to give to YOURSELF first so that you will also have enough to be able to share with others. Being kind includes setting appropriate boundaries, being assertive and clear, letting yourself BE HUMAN.

If you see a chance to help someone no matter how small it may seem at first it DOES matter. 

When you make a mistake you do your best to right your wrong because youre yourself during your best and your worst times so make sure you can be proud of yourself even in the worst times. Mistakes are opportunities to grow and learn- take them!!! 

Life is short but also long- keeping/finding good mental health is a must, being able to be yourself is a must- never live a lie, you want something you work for it- passion is a wonderful tool, surround yourself with like-minded people but don't be afraid to be open to others- you may learn something new!

im only 23 rn but i feel ive learned a lot in my lifetime and im also know i have so much more ahead of me. i know some of these maybe hard for other people and it may feel lonely at times but for me thats okie. i dont preach or force these things on other people, mind you. i believe if someone truly wants to change, grow into living with this kinda moral set and sticking to it they need to find their reasons themselves. we're all on our own journeys.

Anyways most of my life i have found everyone around me has often just expected the worst of me in every situation and treated me as if i am evil in human form no matter what was proven. i dont live to make others like me so i do my best to stand up for myself but if they dont believe me or not care enough to think of me even neutrally now- thats fine with me. i just dont want to be treated poorly. i will never understand excessive cruelty that has been done to me. i dont know what they tell themselves at night to justify it all. it makes me feel scared since i feel like if any of them got the chance to be cruel to me once again none of them would flinch to do so. i understand i maybe cringe and annoying but i like myself, who i am and who i am always working on growing to be. im not gonna change for people who dont care about me as even a fellow human. i just wish and hope they ever hear or see my name or face anywhere its because my comic im currently working on made it big!

Before i close this post off i would like to say i understand my demeanour and overall hopefulness maybe seen like just plain ol' naivety and ill be honest maybe it is but i am passionate and i am determined to never give up, to use this life for all its got and do my part to make the world even just a little kinder. If that makes me seem stupid to you then i wonder what does "stupid" even mean to you.

"There's a difference only you can make." - Barbie in The 12 Dancing Princesses

[getris]

I've heard some people use tumblr as a way of venting or letting things out, i guess those are the same thing and i figured ill give this a try.

This will mostly be me venting to myself about things to do with my life starting with my grandad, and id like to stay anonymous so i wont mention his name.

But on may 28th 2023 i lost my grandad, so about 6 months ago now, ive delt with mental health issues for the majority of my life, idk if thats due to a cocktail of family issues, medication my mother was taking when she was pregnant with me or if theres just something not quite right in my head.

Ive delt with major trust issues, self confidence and self image issues, physical and emotional abuse from both parents and emotional abuse and manipulation from an ex partner but never in my life has anything come quite as close to the level of mind twisting torment that grief has provided; i loved my grandad dearly, out of every member of my dysfunctional family he has consistently been the only safe space, i have never once seen him get angry, swear or even raise his voice unless he was letting out one of his typical hearty chuckles and i think i can safely say that no matter what anyone said he couldnt get angry or judge.

That doesnt mean he is incapable of being firm, he was a fair man and if you did something truly stupid or disappointing he would give you this specific look, one that is still filled with love and compassion but sadness and disappointment and he might throw in a softly spoken "dont do that" (but a little rugged from years of cigars and whiskey during his time in the army), even then his tone was reassuring and it never made you feel challenged but it always got through, i could be screaming at my mother, bright red faced and body full of adrenaline but the moment i caught that look and heard that tone it would all wash away and id feel nothing but regret for what ever was said or done, thats when you know someone is a good person, when they dont need to shout at you, push you or say harsh things, and a simple few calm words immediately diffuse the entire situation.

So naturally me and everyone else in my family were close to him, i have so many fond memories of him, like the time he had this golf cart (he loved golf) and my brother turned it on by accident and sent the thing shooting off down the street as my grandad desperately sprinted after it, or the times he would adamantly try to fix or build things on his own since hes an ex army mechanic and knew better, only to sheepishly realise hes made a mistake and go back to the instructions, he took me to a fishing tournament once and i honestly didnt care at all about the tournament but it was a lovely chance to spend one on one time with him as adults, he even bought me a cider and a beer for himself and that was the first and only chance i got to drink with him, that tournament was even broadcast on TV once so id love to go back and try to find it to see if i can spot me and my grandad in the crowd somewhere.

Theres so much more to the relationship between me and my grandad and im sure ill remember some of it and come back to write more another time, but you can imagine why it felt like my world was shook, i was at a friends house when i first got a call from my brother, he said something along the lines of my grandad had fell over and they took him to hospital, found out that it was potentially cancer but there was no certainty, i cried immediately after that call because to me my grandad was this big, unshakeable ex military man and ive seen him hurt a million times and be unbothered, so to hear that he had collapsed immediately sent waves through my body and i knew something wasnt right.

i spent another few days at my friends house and went home, at that time i was grossly behind with university work (due to mental health issues), and i had finals coming up so i had to force myself back into work, nothing but university and train times and study sessions on my mind because i had to pass, i had to... so i went to my friends house, we study better together and have similar mindsets, so it works out really well when we study and bounce ideas back and forth between each other to get the assignments done, i remember finishing a particularly gruelling study session with her one night when my brother messaged me saying he needs to tell me something but its better if i hear it in person, but i intended to stay at my friends until these assignments and exams were over so i pushed him to message me the update and thats where the regrets started.

My brother told me that my grandad was very sick, it was confirmed to be cancer and the moment i read that i felt physically sick, but my brother reassured me that my grandad was told he had a few years to live, so immediately i wasnt too hurt and i was hell bent that as soon as these exams are over im going to go visit him and once hes out of hospital ill make memories with him, drink with him if possible, anything he wanted.

But thats not how it went, i kept studying and handing in assignments and all i had left was one more exam and thats it im free for the summer and i can go see grandad, but just a day or so before the exam my brother messaged me again saying my grandads health had declined rapidly, he was told months, and then weeks left, so of course i panicked, but i had to do this exam and it was only one more day so surely everythings going to be fine and i can still go see him in the hospital and have a laugh and chat with him.

Exam day comes and i cant get it out of my mind by this point, my family told me they are visiting him that day and asked if i could come but because of visiting hours and my exam hours, i couldnt go but again i told myself "he has weeks left, i can bare one more day and visit him the moment my family goes again", so i went to university, went into that exam room and the entire time i couldnt focus, my university was in the same town that my grandad was in care, so all that was on my mind for that entire two hours was "hes only 30 minutes away, what if he passes while im in here", but the exam time passed painfully slowly but it passed regardless, after the exam i was insanely exhausted and depressed, i hung around with my friend after the exam for an hour or so and then took the train home, turns out timing is a bitch because the moment i got home my parents asked if i was still at uni because they could pick me up on their way to the hospital but i had just got home, the next train would be an hour from then so theres no way i could have visited.

Two days later i was at my mothers birthday when she informed me that my grandad didnt in fact have weeks, he had days left at most and they were going to see him the next day and theres no way im missing anymore chances, so the day comes that we get to go see him, but again something really did not feel right, we got in the car and only a few minutes after picking up my grandmother my aunt (who was at the hospital) said to come quick because he was choking on his own tongue at that point and they expect him to be gone any minute.

Thats the beginning of the heartbreak, seeing my own grandmother in the car talking out loud "just wait (his name) just wait a bit longer please", she was a lot like him, always innocent, always smiling and there she was begging to herself in the car crying, hoping he can just hold on a bit longer for her to be at his side.

We get to the hospital, i watched my nan walk as fast as she could, in pain to get to that room, the moment i walked in it felt like my entire world had ended in that instant, he was no longer my grandad, seeing him in that state felt like my heart had just been ripped out through my chest; he was pale, hairless, almost no muscle left on his body, his skin was a different colour, you could see his heart beating through his chest because his rib cage had twisted and changed shape, he had his eyes and mouth half open and all you could hear was struggled breaths, occasionally interrupted by a weak cough or the sound of him choking on his own tongue, his spine had broken in multiple areas from coughing, thats how frail his body had become.

It was painful, he was clearly suffering and i went through whirlwinds of anger, sadness, anger, sadness... Sad and heart broken seeing such a strong pillar of my world laying there struggling to even exist, and anger that he was allowed to stay in this state, nurses coming in to inject him or feed him medication that would only serve to keep him in this state for a little bit longer, i felt like he was being tortured in the most inhumane way for hours, he couldnt see or hear or speak by that point, just breathe and exist in pain.

Thats when family started talking, gossiping about his state and things he had done during his stay which further broke my heart, remember earlier when i said he had never sworn, never raised his voice and was effectively this gentle giant? Well i overheard my aunt, mother and grandmother talking about how he had been in such pain that he had started threatening the nurses, swearing at and insulting everyone within eyesight, begging both nurses and family to either kill him or take him somewhere where he could do it on his own terms, just typing that out brings a painful lump to my throat because to change such a gentle, loving man into that state must have meant either he was already suffering immensely, or he knew exactly bad it was going to get, it was shock after shock, emotional whiplash.

I stayed in that room for as long as i could which turned out to be 5 hours and 24 minutes, i couldnt bare a moment longer before i stood next to his bed and said my goodbyes, seeing a person you care so deeply about in such a state of suffering, staying in that room for those 5 hours had physically exhausted me, its not that i was just tired of being in the hospital, but i dont think i could have processed another second of that day without rest, so the second i got to my house i passed out in my bed, two hours later my phone was ringing and it was my brother, grandad was gone.

[nayaraclara]

Not to be sounds pathetic, tp klo misalny it was never been this hurt, gue merasa cck bgt anjir, kek dri batin aj udh kek adh. Kenapa lu harus udh ad cewe anjir,,, i tried to let go (alay) tp ah anjir what if u never attend that event, and i could do my best till i get to tell u how i feel, what if u never catch up with her again, like i can shoot my shot. I just fall before even trying, its no fair but thats it. Maybe i just desperate to find someone like u that maybe just one in million, smile brighter and silly than everything..... U stand out even in the crowds. No ones can compare u, just the way u talk, i can identify its u. Ure unique just when u try to be urself, smart af, and aaaaa so attractive. Just why i have to let myself down,, why is it have to be when i feel like i have a chance, when i already fallen deep to u, why i can't erase my feelin for u, i've try hard. I tell myself that i can't be like this forever, its unethic. My friends says its okay to just crushing u, but I can't. If i keep this feeling, thats just make me way more want to be with u, thats way too pathetic in my head. Just why it is so hard to do. Just a few days ago, i thought i alr moved on, i moved on, i moved on. But then u struck again, out of nowhere in my minds. I thought, "oh u alr have her, maybe lets call it over for crushing u, but jt just make it worse, the pain are much worse, tears right in my hearts, just realize i just lose, i can't confess it to u, it hurts. It hurts just pretends im okay, im fine, i moved on, pretends that i still adores u, admires u, fall for u, even u don't know it, like.. i just fall i was enchanted, but can't do anything. Just now, this evening theres hole in my mind, i tell my friend i just pathetic for waiting his stories somehow, and he just posted something,,, what if mines work? What if,,, just what if u don't have her,, what if we can be together,,, this just looks like i envy her, why she have to come when i was high of him,, yea she's pretty, talented, just hearing him talking abt her makes me want to date her too. But why him, all of boys,, the one a adores alot

Now i feel sad

I liked a boy, he's mesmerizing, active, smart, he tells about his past he would top the class, and i know he smar af rn. He's just looks like a nerds, and thats cute. He's kind, just talking to him makes my hearts throbs faster. He's cute, whatever he do, its makes me interested. He's talkative, he likes to talks, and i like to hears him, his voice just feels nice in my ears, i can hear him talk for hours. He's talented, yeah, he can do anything, thats awsome. The way he talks to me, its sooo cute, like i want talk to u longer pls, i just can't help myself when we talked. Oh, the way u do some gestures, tje way u askme to do some handshake or whatever it calls, jabs? Idk, u do plenty of that, cheers, i liked it. The way u always make a peace sign when sayin goodbye to me, that one at the parking lot, its soooo cuteeeee, u event don't feel ashamed do it in front of my friend and yours, its way to cute. It even carved in my memories, speaking of memories, i still remember that moments, u sat on a table, u resting on a wall, with windows behind ur back, the light come from ur behind, the rays, u look so eyesblinding, i want to draw that somedays, i still remember the details that day. Also, i liked rain, cause that rainy day, when i just feel like i interested on u, u came, yeah i still remembered that. Hmm... U smart, attractive, and make me feels giddy. With that long legs of yours, your lean limbs, nice hands, and cute af face... Ure so cute, i just can't describe it, the hairs of yours looks a little bit short but they still looks so tempting, i liked to pat and plays with my bros hair, i wonder how yours feels. Although sometimes i make fun of ur posture, its a bit down, but thats what makes u, u (sebenerny mau negor lu tuh nunduk bgt) but u still looks good. Ur voice, i really likes it.. overall,,, hehe

Just thinking that i liked him, i cried.

I like u

Why i have to crushin u

Yeah i can't help that

I can't help that i fall

I just liked u

And it hurts

[poppy-metal]

so uh,,,,this ended up being alot softer then i was expecting LMAO.

Bully!eren x reader

Cw: not alot, some smut at the end. Tame for me but i was in my FEELINGS okay.

Word count: 2.3k

The familiar sleek black of erens benz pulls up to the side of your house as you walk home from a late night trip to the grocery store, pints of ben & jerrys ice cream in the bags, as well as several other snack items one might munch on to cram for an exam, which is what you planned on doing. 

You side step more onto the sidewalk when he pulls up beside you, still driving just slow enough to match your pace. He rolls down the window, jerking his head, “Just the girl i wanted to see,” he drawls hooking his arm out his window to lean out a little, he grins, “its fate” 

You scrunch your nose up and scoff “Stalking is another word for it, jaeger”. You look him over suspiciously, “you wanted to see me?” 

He rolls his eyes. He’s wearing aviator sunglasses, pushed up his forehead. Loitering in front of your house like this, you’re aware of how different the worlds you live in are. Everything about eren is expensive, from his car to his sunglasses to his clothes, even the way he smells, the cologne he wears, all tells how important he is. Meanwhile here you are in your oversized hoodie and leggings, hands full of stuff you’d bought from the convenience store, prepared to spend your night busting your ass to even stay in the college you had to claw your way to get into, wherein he had gotten in without even trying. You’re not self conscious, at least not usually. You’d never yearned to be apart of erens world too terribly, and it was eren who always sought you out, not the other way around, when there was plenty of rich girls right up his alley and status that would be glad to be with him and yet here he was at 11pm at night. You try to push down the way your heart flutters at that fact.

“Uh huh. Get in the car, bambi, m’taking you somewhere” his teeth are a flash of white against the night, promising trouble, as always. Your grip on your bags tightens, as does your heart in your chest. You glance away, “i have to study” 

“Study?”

Your brows pinch together and you hold up your bags “Not that you’d care, jaeger, but some of us have to actually study to achieve our goals. I can't entertain you tonight, im busy” 

Eren doesn’t look put out in the slightest, glancing down at your bags with casual disinterest“You dont need to study”. And then he looks up at you and meets your eyes, your breath catching, they look closer to the shade of seaglass today. “You’re smarter than anyone i know, ___, and i know alot of people. Whatever you want to pass? You’re already there. Just come with me, please”  

Your eyes widen and your heart spasms in your chest, caught off guard by the raw honesty in his voice. He has moments like this, where he usually teases you and gets under your skin but sometimes he says something that makes everything in you jolt. Its not fair. Its confusing and it messes with your head, makes it fuzzy, weakens you and makes you do things you’d never do with a clear mind.  

You wish you could fight it, wish you could roll your eyes and tell him no and do what you need to do. But you don’t. Huffing you say, “Ugh, fine. Just let me put this stuff up, my ice creams probably already a puddle by now” you turn and rush up to your house, ears burning when you hear him call out, “Thatta girl!” 

You try not to put everything away to hastily, thinking he ought to squirm just a little, but even you can’t deny the eager buzzing under your skin. When you clamber into the passenger seat of his car eren turns to grin at you as he flicks his sunglasses back over his eyes. “Knew you’d see reason, bambi”. You roll your eyes at the nickname, crossing your arms over your chest as you side eye him warily, “where are you taking me jaeger, is this a kidnapping?” 

“Not a kidnapping when you want it, sweetheart”, eren says, putting his arm around the back of your seat as he backs up his car to make a uturn. You dont know if the flustered leap in your chest is from the petname or the way his forearm looks flexing, the cords in his neck prominent as he looks behind him for any oncoming cars. “Just trust me, yeah? You’ll like it” 

You sink in the seat, trying to get away from the warm heat of his arm so close to you, but hes taking it away soon enough, only to draw your attention again to the way his hands look steering the wheel. His hands….You turn to look out the window, opting for silence, because you feel like you’re about to lose your mind. This car is just so..him and its overwhelming your senses. It smells good, it smells like him, his cologne wafting all around you. The sleek interior of his car is crisp, clean, sharp, and just so richboy it feels surreal. You haven’t been in his car before. 

Eren seems okay with the silence though, tapping his finger idly against the wheel as soft music plays from the radio. Its strangely peaceful, actually. Before you know it, the whirring of houses and neighborhoods and highway turns into palm trees and sand. You sit up straighter, coming out of your daze when you realize eren is pulling his car into the sandy bank by a large body of water. The beach. You haven’t had a chance to go here. 

The water looks like black at this time of night, there are no waves, just sparkling dark abyss that stretches out for ages and ages, glittering under the moonlight. There are no other cars parked close to you so its just you, eren, and the sea. 

You spend quite awhile gawking at the ocean before you come to your senses and turn to face eren. He has his elbow propped on the wheel, chewing idly on his thumb as he peers at you from over his sunglasses. A small smile is playing at his lips as he watches you. 

You gape, “What…” 

“You’re cute when you’re excited, you know” his voice is low, dropped in that way that makes your toes curl in your shoes. You ignore the way your heart skips at his words, probing him, “Why did you bring me here, ren?” 

He turns to face forward, flipping the radio off so theres no background noise between the two of you. Taking his sunglasses off the folds them and puts them on the dash, sighing as he watches the ocean from out the windshield, gnawing on his lips. Tap, tap, tap, his fingers on the wheel go as you wait for him to speak. “Last week,” he starts, glancing at you, “When we had to do those presentations in class about places we feel at home..you talked about the library” 

He laughs under his breath like its some kind of endearing joke, shaking his head a little. You dont speak. “The library is where i first saw you, you know? I mean, before all this, before i..talked to you, i noticed you before you ever noticed me.” A small secret smile plays on his lips, “You were reading ‘percy jackson and the lightning thief’, and you haid your hair in pigtails. Your glasses were way to big your face. My first thought was ‘wow she looks like an owl’, but then i saw you laugh at something on the page and my second thought was ‘i want to know her’. We were in middle school.” 

Green eyes connect with yours, “You still go there, i know. But anyway..this is. My place, i guess”. He purses his lips “i figure since i'm always intruding on your little sanctuary , i’d let you see mine” 

You take everything he just said in. He’d known about you, noticed you, since middle school? You hadn’t acknowledged him until sophomore year of highschool, hadn’t spoken to him since senior year, when this tug and pull had first begun between you two. You remembered that day, your mother wouldn't buy you the series so you’d relied on constantly re-reading the books at the library. It was around that time you began to see that place as something special, too. Tucked away from the world, you could lose yourself in another's story. It was like magic. And to realize eren had been there the whole time, had glimpsed that, realized that the library was your special place, that he’d even payed attention to your presentation in class at all in the first place...that he was here, showing you something of himself in return, even though you’d never asked. You’d wondered of course. 

Eren was an enigma, he was on most days, the bane of your existence. He had made your life a living hell on many occasions, but with that, he also made you feel more alive than ever before. He’d dragged you out of your bubble and challenged you to see the world beyond school and books and fiction, he raised your emotions and forced you to experience everything head on. Anger, confusion, happiness, anxiety, thrill, lust and…

You look at him. The way the moonlight curls into the car like a kind of mist, making his eyes look absolutely beautiful. The soft wave to his brown hair, his eyelashes, everything about him made you ache with desire. All the time, even when you swore you hated him, you wanted him. 

“Kiss me”. Its whispered out so low, for a moment you worry he might not hear it. Its the first time you’ve asked for him, reached for him first without his taunting to guide a confession from you. With this request, filling the air between you, you’re making it known that you want him, want this. It doesn’t change anything and yet it somehow changes everything. You can’t look in the mirror and tell yourself he doesn’t occupy your mind and your heart anymore. Not after this. 

Eren seems to realize this too, his intake of breath letting you know he heard you loud and clear. “__..” he says, inching closer. His eyes, dark now, are so very hungry as he closes in. In a moment his lips, soft, so soft, are on yours. You sigh into his kiss, opening for him easily when his tongue glides into your mouth. His hand comes up to cup your jaw, tenderly, thumb stroking it. God, you want to eat him, you want him to eat you. The wet smack of your lips fills the car as you hungrily nip, and suck, and kiss at each others lips. 

When eren pulls back, he’s panting, hair disheveled. You don’t remember when your hands first sunk into his hair, but they must have, messed up as it is now. He looks at you like he wants to devour you, he licks his lips. “I’m gonna put your seat back,” he tells you slowly, each word dripping with finality, “im going to kiss every inch of your body and then you’re opening those legs for me and letting me inside, baby” 

You don’t have it in you to act scandalised, you know what you want. You’d basically asked for it. You just nod, never taking your eyes off his face when he reaches down and pulls the lever. And then you feel yourself being tilted backwards as the seat goes back, laying you flat. Your chest heaves with barely contained need as eren then settles above you, every clothed inch of him hovering just barely above you. 

Holding your eyes, eren lowers himself. You spread your legs easily to accommodate him, gasping when you feel his clothed cock settle right against your clit through your leggings. He rocks once, gently, against you, his hair hanging over his forehead as he looks down at you with utter want in his eyes, “Want you to feel me”, he murmurs, and rocks again, “Wanna fill you up so good, you can’t ever pretend that im not apart of you. Because, this, baby?” Another rock, a shuddered moan leaving your lips, “This is it. No ones gonna fuck you like i do, no ones gonna get inside that little head and play the games we play so well together.” 

One of his hands trails up your thigh, dipping his hand under the fabric of your leggings and pulling them slightly down, he pecks your lips, once, twice, three times. “Tell me”, he groans into your mouth, peeling your clothes off you slowly, “Tell me you understand, Tell me this is everything” 

And you tell him. Tell him through your whimpers when he parts the folds of your slick cunt with his fingers buried inside you. Tell him through your moans into his mouth when he shoves his jeans down and splits you open on his cock. Tell him through sighs of his name, when he rocks into you, licking into your mouth as he spears you open. Tell him through the way you claw your fingers down his back when starts to fuck you hard, rocking the car with the force of his thrusts. Tell him through the way you spread your legs, even wider, toes curling as he wrings orgasm after orgasm out of your tight little pussy milking him. 

“Its everything, you’re everything…” You cry out again and again, clutching onto him as he pumps you full of his cum, groaning brokenly into your neck. 

“Fuck”. He pulls back to look down at you, brushing your damp hair back from your face, still inside you. “You’re gonna fucking kill me, you little nerd” 

[nyan-koii]

Tw // noncon, rape, bad grammar, my teacher didnt proofread this, brainrot

Currently thinking and manifesting tomioka giyuu, himself all alone, non-coning his only friend after the death of sabito. Apparently, the three of them were friends because sabito introduced y/n to giyuu. Y/n's not learning under urokodaki but they've became really close with one another.

The death of sabito pushed them both into a misery, agonizing state but y/n recovered first to help giyuu. You could say that she's basically his moral support and comfort person. Y/n helped giyuu so much he thanked the god again and again every night, thinking that life is not that bad with y/n. He began to fall in love with y/n. He was obssesed.

She reminded him of tsutako. Caring, kind, dotting and just overall really nice to him. A quality not every person shower him due to his aloof self. They thought of him wrongly but she was there to protect him, just like tsutako and sabito

Oh sabito.

Giyuu knew how y/n's madly in love with his best friend, dead best friend. Y/n would never miss a day praying for sabito's soul to rest in peace just like how he would never miss the chance to thank the god for bringing her to his life.

This sabito, that sabito. He became irritated and disgusted he felt bad about himself. Bad that he cursed his best friend like this. Bad because he fell too deep in her love and affection that whenever she mentioned the word sabito, he wanted to say "he's dead," to her face.

Giyuu is a selfish person. He learned to become one. Wouldnt it be fair if he behaves like this just because no one other than y/n care for him? He wanted to keep her for himself. He wanted to break those faces that goes near y/n. He yearn for her.

It's funny how at first she liked it. Guilty pleasure seeps into her as giyuu nibbled her skin, trying to claim her as his. It was the fact that she imagined it as sabito that causes her to like it. To love it. Not becauss of giyuu. Oh no never would she thought giyuu could become her soulmate. She saw him as a little brother. Brother in law.

So when she accidentally moaned out sabito's name instead of giyuu, the boy stopped all his actions and looked at her in the eyes. She flushed "s-sorry giyuu. It accidentally came out like a prayer," prayer. Why would she be praying in this kind of situation?

Does she not like it? Does she hate what im doing? Does she knows my feelings? Is she feeling good? Is she looking at me? Will she ever look at me?

It was the final straw for him when y/n sneakily took a peek at sabito's picture. She'll never look at him, a pathetic worthless person, tomioka giyuu.

She was taken aback when giyuu pushed into her forcefully, the feeling of burning sensation crawls up to her and she screamed. "G-giyuu slow down please it hurts,"

"Why did you say his name? Why cant you look at me?"

"Giy-giyuu please sto-stop aahh!! Not theree noo please please stop it hurts no moree. giy-AHH-"

Animalistic, no demonic behaviour, as if he was possessed by some kind of demon due to the strength in his hold. Life was unfair of how he took advantage in his size and physical appearance. Y/n couldnt do anything to stop him even though she tried to push him away forcefully just like how he's pushing himself in her. An unbalanced battle.

"I want you to forget about him and focus on me only,"

Y/n cried. And she called out for help. She called out for sabito's spirit. Not a very wise action from her if one day she ever recall this moment back. She wont.

"HE'S NOT HERE ANYMORE WHY THE HELL DONT YOU GET IT,"

Gripping her thighs harder, he slammed into her roughly she could barely speak properly due to the harsh force and choked sobs. It was painful for her to see him in such state. Why? She could only think of that.

Y/n no longer called giyuu by his name. Tomioka san stop, tomioka san please, tomioka san i cant.

It was better than never for him. At least after that, she didnt even dare to speak about sabito anymore. The thought of getting raped by her dead crush's best friend pains her. Giyuu wished to be a better person but he knew that he couldnt. Not after what he had done to her still linger in both their minds. Painful and sorrow.

They both wanted to die.