#but i still highly recommend watching it so you get the full effect w the music :)

[dreamlandiasims]

watch the full video here :)

previous | next

Transcript:

dreamlandiasims Presents...

...a PLA Short Film...

...The Last Goodbye

-

Scientist: Boss said we can't afford any disruptions. Shut it down.

Blair: They must've cut our fucking power.

Blair: ... Screw it.

Blair: LISTEN UP STRANGERS!

Blair: Our fearless leaders are trying to ruin tonight's event.

Blair: So I say... why don't we bring the party to them?

Blair: Who's with me?

Blair: I said... WHO'S WITH ME??

-

to be continued...

[gettothestabbing]

What are your top 5 favorite anime?

Princess Tutu - gorgeous in every way, a story that does the concept of a multilayered narrative justice while also using the beauty of ballet and fairy tales to their full emotional advantages, and also the name helps gatekeep, because if you can't get past the name you aren't the sort of person who would enjoy it anyway. I can't recommend it highly enough. Available here

Kill la Kill - amazing and energetic animation, a unique story with a surprising family theme, and probably the coolest modern take on the delinquent girl archetype. I did resist watching it at first because of the lack of under-boob support on Ryuko's outfit, but honestly, it no longer bothers me. There are valid story reasons behind all the costume designs. Again, this has the beneficial side-effect of automatic gatekeeping. Available here

Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters - peak early 2000s character design, tons of merchandising money to fund legitimately good filler arcs and hire high quality animation directors (sometimes), a hero that actually has the worst win-loss record of all the protagonists of his franchise (but still retains the largest fanbase and greatest admiration for his skills and personal character), multiple engaging character arcs, and my personal favorite. This is the one most affected by nostalgia. YGO was my first fandom outside of Disney, the first thing I was really into that neither my parents nor my younger sister cared about, and it remains incredibly important to me. It took me 10 years to be able to watch the final two seasons, as my local channel for some reason decided to only play the first 2.5 seasons over and over. Those final seasons were not at all disappointing either; I loved them entirely, even with all their flaws and animation issues. I'd never claim that YGO is perfect, especially since I prefer the 4Kids dub to the original; yet even the subbed version, which I have also seen, has issues as a story. The original manga is superior to BOTH versions, if we're being honest. But this anime is amazing, fun, wholesome (without being lame, particularly the sub; the dub can be pretty lame) and long without being impossible to finish. The dub is available here (w, x, y, z), but to get the subbed version, you either have to pay through the nose or search the bowels of the Internet. Might as well try the dub: even if you don't like 4Kids, you can have fun laughing at them, and all the changes the dub made were meticulously catalogued here.

Dragon Ball - one of the best shonen ever, with an amazing world, strong characters that stay simple without being simpletons, and a slow, savory pace that makes every fight pop. I binged the entire (subbed) show in March 2020 when I had to stay home during the initial lockdown. It was exactly the cheery, grounded, fun shot in the arm that I needed when things were still uncertain and scary in my world. While I enjoy Z and parts of Super, the original is far better: more consistent in quality, pacing, and relevant themes. It's here and here right now. If you're already a fan, Totally Not Mark has some huge video essays reviewing both the entire franchise arc-by-arc and analyzing the major characters of the franchise. (The Buu arc review features Team Four Star ^_^)

Akage no Anne - one of the best works of World Masterpiece Theater and directed by future Studio Ghibli director Isao Takahata; a picture-perfect adaptation of Anne of Green Gables made for Japanese ESL education that managed to capture the pace, feelings, and gradual growth of its cast. With dreamy sequences to represent Anne's imagination and mirror the long descriptive passages of the book, the series grounds itself with simple and realistic character designs that change slowly over the course of the series to reflect the passing of time. It's from 1979, so it's even less fancy looking than Dragon Ball (1986), and Anne's initial design looks a bit awkward since she's pretty awkward and underfed at the start. But don't be fooled. Not only is this the closest adaptation I've seen to the book, but it manages to reflect Anne's rich, emotional inner world without relying on narration or a diary. It uses silence in a very mature way. Although Akage no Anne was not at all the beginning of Japan's love affair with Anne Shirley, it has become a cornerstone of that fandom in Japan. And if you love Isao Takahata's work like I do, seeing one of his earliest works is a pure joy. It's actually available on YouTube; this version has been up for 7 years straight, but I'd urge anyone interested to watch it sooner rather than later. You never know when a YT anime playlist will disappear.

Honorable Mention: Maison Ikkoku - this is one of my favorite manga, one I liked enough to collect in full and read multiple times. The anime is beautiful, and unlike some adaptations of Rumiko's work, it doesn't delve into alternate characterizations or themes. It's an iconic 1980s anime and I love what I've seen of it. But I can't put it higher because I've never been able to see all of it. Occasionally I've been able to watch episodes on YouTube with French subs, but I'm not fluent in French, so I only know what's going on because I'm so familiar with the manga. I still recommend it as a mature seinen romance/comedy. If anyone knows where I can watch or legally obtain it, I'd be very grateful.

[carrotmybabyo]

Translation: 🧡Koji’s Photoboy exhibition in AERA (2022.06.27)

in AERA (2022.06.27)

2nd last BB dance prac shot: Featuring all 8 of his members. It was after they filmed the dance vid.  They were abt to go home early, when Koji requested for 1 photo. Shoppi  was alrdy topless so he hid behind meme.

last shot of suno in suits: After the last interview session for Osomatsu movie, they're in suits & he thinks it's cute. Lately Koji has been taking photos of suno. Suno from his pov. He doesn't do it all the time, but time to time he feels like taking photos of them.

1st shot: self portrait: Just for fun, he wanted a self portrait. In monochrome, he used a tripod & strobe light. He likes it when he looks away from camera. (retorts himself here by saying HOW ANNOYING!) It was hard to act cool but still be natural for this.  

mirror selfie shot: He wants to be as good as a pro. wishes to hear ppl ask him "pls take a pic for me", wants to shoot for magazine covers & have his own exhibition w/o showing his name, just as a 27 yo camera man's daily life thru photos.  

crying little girl: She's young & crying so monochrome shows her tears better. He highly recommends this shot, and he has always wanted to take a crying face shot. (she was crying cause the light quite bright & her mum wasn’t nearby, but continued to pose while crying, cute) for sure she will grow up a beauty  

after crying.. her dad comforted her & carried her. Koji took a parent child shot of them, blurring out dad's face by partially covering his lens.  sensei said: covering his face leaves it to one's imagination, it's a great parent-child shot  

Leaf on spider thread: the leaf rotated nonstop, koji snapped a pic just as it faced the front. He had to crouch since the leaf was below his waist. Monochrome so the spider thread can be seen well. also the leaf isn’t a v nice colour so monochrome is better.  

sakkun's bear hairdo from Brother Beat: “Sakkun in the makeup room. I wanted to take a pic of that hairdo. A pic with  full face would draw attention away from the hair, so I took the pic only from his eyes upwards. I happened to be using monochrome film, but it's nice too.”

IMPACTors: “During last year's kabuki. I used monochrome film too. They were practicing Wildfire, which was choreographed by Hikaru. I shot from the side rather than the front to avoid intruding, since it was a morning check and Hikaru was watching them.  “

moving train: “Those who know, knows, but this is a train in Nara (kintetsu). If you look closely you can see me (reflection). I took it from the platform, just nice there was someone in black inside the train so the glass was like a mirror. The shaky feel is nice.” (Good timing!)  

Street shoppi: I took it w/o shoppi noticing, so it was a natural shot. Shinjuku on our rest day. The sun rays from between the buildings were nice. It was that day that shoppi wanted to shop but I ended up buying things instead. I used the lens I bought immediately, but  since it was a digital camera lens (Nikon G) on a film camera, it didnt match well & the photo was a bit blurred. I used a wider aperture. It was quite nice in the end.  

Bright light: “Sunlight filtered through the blinds. I used a green glass for this effect & to match the greenery. It might be hard to tell what it is but you can see the exit & there’s a gentle feel. I handled the cup roughly on purpose so it had scratches for the diffused effect.  “

Tokyo tower: “What do you think it is? Very blur, dark & rainy shot of Tokyo Tower taken while i was on the highway in a staff's car. I wanted to use up the last film in my camera. There was only about a 0.5 sec window to get a shot since there were many buildings blocking most of the view.”

Date san: “Date san w his beautiful contours outlined by the back light. An exquisite shot with the window frame alignment and silhouette of leaves, & i made it cool toned. This was during EVOLUTION mv filming, he's acting cool but wearing only socks cause he's on a sofa, it's good.”

???: “Can’t tell what it is right? At the right side, there’s a number on the floor. This is kabuki stage. There's markings on the floor from ppl walking & pushing things over it. The V shaped shadow is actually from Sakuma's flying sling. I didn’t expect it to turn out nice like this.  “

Bread: “Somehow not too great? Bacon egg bread and salted roll. Seated in driver's seat, my leg is in the shot too. The bread was my breakfast from the staff. Can i just say, it's morning!” (TN: idk he might be referring to high cal bread being too heavy for morning)  

Kawaguchiko: “I took a few shots of the leaves but I’m most interested in the lady walking away from the guy. The guy took a photo with his phone, then I’m not sure what happened but it felt like he was dumped? His face is covered so it adds to the story-like feel.” (Lmao u Koji-razzi?!)  

Tokyo Tower night: “A long exposure shot of Tokyo Tower. The trails from red & white headlights of cars on either sides are pretty. The shutter speed: I kept it open for ~10s but I waited 20 mins overall to balance out the cars' effect. Snapping away like an idiot! I cycled there.“

Snow: “It snowed between work. I used a Leica clip on light for this. It was a rather wet snow so I got drenched while taking photos, anyone seeing might think I’m a weird fellow “

scans source: here

[night-triumphantt]

The way u draw.. I am simping in the chat! Seriously tho, you draw so well! I've been practicing drawing for a while but still can't find my groove/style. How did you find yours?

Hey! Thank you so much for sending this first of all v sweet! Also, buckle up this might get a bit long :D

Finding my style was a process and is a mixture of MANY different things, Style definitely comes naturally as you progress as an artist. You will start to gain it as you learn how to draw better technically as well as from absorbing it from the artists that inspire you as you are learning.

For me, animation, in its many forms, is a large part of the style that I go for, and then also a lot of baroque period art (Think Caravaggio, w the intense lighting, which admittedly I do not get to emulate often but it is honestly something that does inform my more rendered artworks and also the level of *dramaaaa* i like to go for sometimes :D. It is also one I am STILL learning and working on as its a more recent undertaking). And then just concept art in general (again often for animation).

Style as an artist is something we can effect in that we can choose the things that inspire us and lean that direction as well as add our own inclinations to to end up w something unique!

That said,I am gonna try and recount my journey for u, w some pictures to show u if I can of my many many inspirations (also some comparisons to my very old art :P)

Aight, so, I wont repost any individual artists art but Caleb Thomas (Ctchrystler on twitter) was a HUGE inspiration on my art as I was learning. As was Ravietta (She is here on tumblr as well as on Deviantart).

Caleb uses some amazing angles and I loved his character designs as well as how he would create an environment for his characters (def spurred my love of faux screen cap style) I liked how his characters felt like they were interacting w eachother. He also did animations which I still absolutely adore! (You should def check out his work, I believe he works on the dragon prince now as a storyboard artist, he also has an insta).

Ravietta also has some stunning character animation work. I also highly recommend looking at her work! I also love her coloring style she has a great grasp on mood and color!

Both are extremely skilled, a lot of my style formation came from emmulating them! (I still truly love their art!)

As for other things that influenced my style, Avatar the last air bender and ESPECIALLY Legend of Korra were heavy influencers on how I drew (actually, that drawing up there on the right was my own LOK inspired OC lolllll) I realllly enjoyed looking through character sheets and especially the facial expression references and animation key frames! I spent a lot of time looking those up and trying to copy them.

I was also hella inspired by many Disney animators, Specifically their concept art, especially Glen Keene, I tried for a while to emulate that style as well :P

I def suggest looking at the concept art for movies or shows you love, that was a lot of what I tried (and try) to do! They are some of my favorite things ever and definitely heavily inform my art. Animators are very good at giving characters ‘weight’ and dimension, also helped me practice getting better at expressions :P (I still like to look them up for reference/inspiration now)

I also used to practice a lot of realistic portrait drawing as well as gesture drawings which helped A LOT with just understanding the general anatomy of people & its something I think we can always practice (I still do now :P)

So to bring it full circle, my art style is just a mixture of all of those things that I learned from as well as just,, the way my brain interprets the world i guess would be the best way to describe it? (art is interesting that way, you can always tell which artist did something cuz theres always just a lil ‘fingerprint’ that we all leave, :P)

And to round it off, here are some drawings from 2014 that I could dig up as well as one where I had been watching videos done by sycra and did a sorta before/after watching (Sycra is a YouTuber, who’s videos I also recommend, he did some critique videos where he would p much just, help artists make their drawings better and I used to watch those all the time, I also still use his foreshortening technique!)

I Reaalllly hope this helped and was what you were looking for, pls, do not hesitate to send more questions, I would love to answer them! (And to the person who was asking for anatomy tips, I saw ur ask! I’m workin on it :P)

[bryonysimcox]

Spring has Sprung and Life Continues: Week 11, Spain

Another week spent in the Catalunyan countryside as coronavirus lockdown continues. Here are my reflections on the arrival of spring, broad beans, ecological economics and the launch of ‘The Hundred Miler’.

This last week has seen the welcome face of April - signalling that spring is certainly here along with the arrival of Easter. It’s a time associated with new life, new starts, sunny days and longer nights. Even though we remain in full lockdown here in Spain, it feels as though we can draw upon the changing season as a source of assurance.

The week started with something rather special. I finally got to drive Suzi!

When we first bought the van in Summer 2019, I was still only 24, and it was really expensive to get me insured on it. There seems to be a transition point for insurers at age 25, so George and I had always agreed that after my birthday at Christmas, we’d get me on the insurance. But we never got around to it, partly because of the additional expense, and partly because it wasn’t a huge priority, until the start of March. And then of course, we were in Valencia and the lockdown hit, so we had nowhere to drive to even once I was insured!

My first drive here in Catalunya was pretty fun, even though it was just a trip to the supermarket. Because we’re in lockdown, the roads are super quiet which has been great, and the roads around the cottage aren’t tarmaced, so I could do some offroading as well. I’ve since driven a couple more times to and from the supermarket, and it’s so nice to be behind the wheel again. I haven’t driven since we owned our last van, Casper, back in Sydney!

(Images, left to right) My first time driving Suzi the HiAce, and a throwback to driving our last van Casper.

On the topic of Sydney, I have been doing some serious reminiscing. It’s almost coming to exactly a year since George and I flew back to the UK from Australia, and anniversaries always tend to bring on waves of nostalgia. It’s mad to think that a year ago, we didn’t own a van, not least have a clue about where we’d be living in the van! And of course, there’s no way I’d have imagined that we would be stuck amid a pandemic-induced global lockdown. Oh, to have the gift of foresight... 

The year that ensued after we left our friends, jobs, and security blanket of Sydney was an absolute rollercoaster. We naively aimed to have the van built and prepped in a matter of months, and when the van-build rolled over towards Christmas 2019, I felt like an absolute failure for not having finished it sooner. And yet now, upon reflection, I guess it’s not such a bad achievement to have managed to buy and build Suzi the HiAce, both of us get jobs in Manchester and move into a flat there, launch our documentary channel ‘Broaden’ and set off for Europe all in a year.

We can all benefit from a bit of self-reflection to put progress into perspective.

(video) Broaden’s latest video; an overview of who we are and what we’re about. It’s helped me to reframe some of the successes of this last year.

I feel like a stuck record, but food is a wonderful experience which punctuates the repetitive days of lockdown. Last week I wrote about calçots, a deliciously sweet spring onion special to this region and eaten with Romesco sauce. This week, it’s all about broad beans. The garden here is full of them, so I’ve been tasked with picking and podding. Most of them are fat enough to be podded, and are even better if you go the extra mile by blanching them and removing their skins. The smaller ones can be eaten as they are, and make for a lovely crunchy stir-fry ingredient too.

Preparing broad beans can be time-consuming, but also a wonderfully cathartic activity. My granny in Scotland used to have plenty of these beans in her garden, and I remember summer days spent picking and podding with my mum. We’ve stored plenty here in the freezer but have also kept some fresh and I am continually finding ways to incorporate them into our meals. A quick call to my well-resourced mum also resulted in her sending pages and pages photographed from Jane Grigson’s vegetable book: not only with plenty of recipes but incredibly detailed descriptions of the vegetable’s history and qualities too.

(images) Beautiful fresh veggies from the market were a highlight of the week, as well as picking these broad beans straight from the garden. The bowl on the right is what was distilled from podding four huge bags’ worth.

The resurgence in cooking and baking whilst in lockdown is inspiring, but I’ve been thinking about how it affects our supply chains as well.

Just this morning on BBC News I saw an article about dairy farmers having to throw away vast amounts of milk as cafes, hotels and restaurants remain shut, and another article about how there’s been an insane increase in demand for flour, as everyone takes to home baking. Many mills are now working around the clock to meet the demand in the UK and I was especially interested to read that even if there’s enough flour that there’s a shortage of packaging, because usually only 4% of flour produced goes into the smaller bags that we see on supermarket shelves.

Coronavirus has triggered so many changes in how we live and how we behave, that it's wreaking havoc on supply chains like this, and of course, the economy. That said, whilst the negative effects are hard to deny, scientists, economists and ecologists alike are suggesting that we should leverage the situation as an opportunity to reflect on how we all live, and how we might return to ‘normal’ life without just returning to business as usual. I agree: this is a unique opportunity to reassess production and consumption, how we assign value to things, and the economic and political models that we use to govern our world.

The connection between global lockdown, coronavirus, climate change and our economy has really got me thinking.

I recently read an incredible article by ecological economist Simon Mair in Singularity Hub which looked at this relationship. The article pulled together disparate strands that have been on my mind for a while, each related to various books which I’ve been reading, and which I can now see are interconnected. Simon suggests that the Covid-19 crisis could be a chance to “expand our economic imagination”. He explains that coronavirus, like climate change, demands a type of downscaling, counter to the ‘wartime economy’ mentality and massive upscaling of production. 

“If we want to be more resilient to pandemics in the future (and to avoid the worst of climate change) we need a system capable of scaling back production in a way that doesn’t mean loss of livelihood”, says Simon.

The article is full of gems, and Simon explores things such as our current addition to economic growth and productivity, the transfer of healthcare and labour goods out of the market and into the hands of the state, and the social forms that could come from an ethic that values care, life, and democracy. It answers some of the questions posed by George Monbiot in ‘How Did We Get Into This Mess?’, echoes some of the radical economic theories proposed by Kate Raworth in ‘Doughnut Economics’, and parallels ideas of democratic market socialism put forward by ‘How to Be an Anti-Capitalist in the 21st Century’ by Erik Olin Wright which I’m currently reading. Simon’s article has really got me so fired up, in fact, that I’m working on an idea for a new video which explores the topic, so watch this space.

(images) Three fantastic books which I highly recommend.

On the subject of videos, Broaden has been one of the only things keeping us sane! I am eternally grateful to have a creative outlet in times like these, and one which involves a collaborative partnership with George too. Whilst we aren’t able to explore places in the van, or capture footage for new films as we’d love to be doing right now, we are at least able to edit from the cottage and work on promoting the content that we are already releasing.

It feels so tricky to get the right tone when releasing videos during a global pandemic.

We are both conscious of remaining sensitive to the severity of the health crisis, whilst balancing that with the reality that life goes on, and that people still want to see pictures, watch videos and read articles that engage with other topics too. As Broaden, George and I obviously made the decision to launch our documentary ‘The Hundred Miler’ during this time, and I hope that people see it as a celebration of running, the natural world, and human resilience, and perhaps even an escape from the daily news of the virus, rather than something insensitive or badly-timed.

(video) Trailer for ‘The Hundred Miler’

‘The Hundred Miler’ comes out this Saturday 11th April, and we have been overwhelmed by the response already. People have really got behind the project, helping to share it on Facebook, Instagram and YouTube and widen its potential reach. George has been making this film for well over three years, so it feels like an immense milestone to finally have it shown to the world. I don’t think I know many people who hold themselves to such high standards as George, and so to have so many positive messages and people planning to tune in for the live premier on Saturday is the best affirmation of all his hard work that I could wish for. It has been a pleasure to see him create this documentary, and also to have been involved in the production and final stages of its creation.

The Hundred Miler is a film about three Australian guys, taking on the biggest race of their lives; UTMB.

‘Ultra Trail du Mont Blanc’ is renowned in the trail-running world, as one of the most challenging and scenic ultra marathons. The Hundred Miler is an attempt to bring this story to the masses, and we hope that it appeals to non-runners and runners alike, for its underlying themes of companionship, commitment and strength. It premiers live on YouTube at 10am in the UK, which is 7pm in Australia on 11.4.20, and after that the video will be available to watch as a normal video. You can find BTS footage and more information about the film on our Instagram here, details of the launch on the Facebook event here, and the link for the video itself here. You can also subscribe to Broaden’s YouTube channel and set a reminder for when the film goes live.

(video) ‘The Hundred Miler’ which goes live on Sat 11th April.

 It goes without saying: I am really missing the open road and living in a van. And I’m not immune to fear of the future either. But as the days and weeks pass, we learn to adapt to changing circumstances and continue to find hope among them. In a way, it helps to know we are all in the same boat, facing a topsy-turvy life full of roadblocks and revelations. Thanks for tuning in to read my weekly ramblings and I hope you’re all keeping as well as you can be. Until next week!

[cheesymovie]

okay so I’m alone in my dorm @ uni and I’m bored as all hell & i’ve has a recent fascination w old movies??? & u reblog stuff about old movies all the time so I’m just wondering if u have any suggestions?? I wanna watch some good/fun ones but I have no idea how to find the ones that don’t suck!! always a sucker for the ones that have gay subtext but like. any suggestions at all would be so appreciated thank u queen

oooooh yes!!!!!!! you came to just the place! im just gonna list some of my faves, hang on cause this is gonna be a LONG one (im not sure what your cutoff for Old is so i just went with 1960)

silent:

wings: really well done visually, also features the first gay kiss in history (ofc the context is different, but it’s there!)

nosferatu: the legendary spongebob character’s origin story! the music is wonderful in this, it’s very Artsy, just one of the greatest horror movies ever (it’s a bit slow at times but most silent films are)

the cabinet of dr caligari: REALLY cool from an art perspective, the sets are incredible, i love german expressionism, another great one for when you’re in the mood to get Spooky

steamboat bill, jr: buster keaton is a legend for a reason, this is my personal favorite of his. theres also something very unique and charming about silent film slapstick that i just adore, and this is a wonderful showcase of it!

the gold rush: basically the same reasoning as above, but with charlie chaplin. also this movie has a lot of genuine emotion you dont often get from silent comedies!

sunrise: a song of two humans: a must-see for silent films, it has super intriguing visual effects that really give a dreamlike quality to it, as well as great acting for the limited medium

show people: a really sweet classic romance that also gives you a nice (if not totally accurate) taste of The Movie Biz @ the time

metropolis: one of the first sci fi movies ever. visually STUNNING like nothing ive ever seen, also a bit of a workers of the world unite moment

noir/drama/general Serious Stuff: 

the big sleep: SEXY! the plot is hard to follow but it’s worth it for the characters and also just all i can say is. hot - it’s about a murder or two!

the maltese falcon: actually makes sense and like. Says Stuff abt humanity. gripping plot and nuanced characters -about a bird statue and the knights templar also human nature but also who could forget a murder or two!

sunset boulevard: absolutely enthralling characters, script, plot, performances, all of it! - it’s about a murder!

rebel without a cause: HUGE gay subtext with this one, one of the original Teen Movies

kiss me deadly: interesting!!!!! i was intrigued from start to finish w this one and you probably will be too

strangers on a train: one o those Psychological Thrillers, interesting n well acted - it’s about The Concept of Murder

north by northwest: super fast paced spy action movie that also #makes you think

murder, my sweet: another classic phillip marlowe story with that fast talkin detective dialogue i love so much - it’s about a murder! (my sweet)

double indemnity: the height of Cynicism in noir, not even any detectives in this just bad deeds and Tension -it’s about a murder or two!

key largo: just a hotel full of intriguing characters all At Odds with each other and the concept of heroism

random harvest: kinda cheesy amnesia plot but comes across well with good acting and dialogue

the lady vanishes: about a lady. who vanishes. funny at times and has that Classic hitchcock tension before he really landed on his final style

casablanca: “here’s lookin at you kid” “i think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship” just. one of the most iconic movies of the whole Classic Era and for good reason!

to have and have not: basically casablanca BUT consider this- i love Them (them being humphrey bogart and lauren bacall)

comedy/romance/general Light Stuff:

the thin man series: one of my absolute all time favorites! it’s just a story about two rich people who only love each other and alcohol getting dragged into solving various mysteries. my favorite thing about this is how much you can tell they love each other, like they’ve been married for years and just banter back and forth in a way founded on mutual respect n adoration which is So refreshing to see in classic movies!

it happened one night: i ADORE this movie! it’s a classic road trip comedy with a ton of bizarre side characters and hijinks, and also basically Invented the rom com genre. they’re also genuinely in love in a very cute way! it’s just sweet and fun and one of my fav movies of all time

arsenic and old lace: a dark comedy about old lady serial killers, brothers who think theyre theodore roosevelt and frankenstein (respectively), and Love. it’s super bizarre but a real joy to watch!

it’s a wonderful life: makes me sob every single time and leaves ya with that fuzzy warm feeling inside (recommended for christmas/winter viewing)

duck soup: i mean it’s the most iconic marx brothers movie, what more can i say!

bringing up baby: just a real wacky romp where it’s the lady and the tiger, with a whole lot of silly comedy

my man godfrey: makes fun of rich people n has a big loud ensemble cast (also romance)

the shop around the corner: they fall in love through letters but hate each other in real life! :0! bonus points for jimmy stewart’s voice

abbott and costello meet frankenstein: the title says it all. completely joyfully stupid movies like these are a big reason why i love old movies!

roman holiday: audrey hepburn’s debut movie. really sweet, has an ending that makes me cry

death takes a holiday: super interesting experimental concept not seen often in this era - Death literally takes a holiday and has to deal w life n love n all that

sabrina: a very nice and well acted little romance/cinderalla story w sprinkle of comedy

the philadelphia story: another Classique rom com with a love triangle n some nice fast-paced witty dialogue

musicals:

singin in the rain: one of the first classic movies i ever remember loving. every second of it is just. ah chef kiss

guys and dolls: very fun!!! just emblematic of good ol showtunesy musicals as a whole 

top hat: fred astaire and ginger rogers!! need i say more?

on the town: really fun music n choreography, generally engaging to watch

cabin in the sky: an all black cast with a ton of great songs n talent! 

the great ziegfeld: a really lovely period piece about 20s live shows with stunning costumes/choreography

gentlemen prefer blondes: it’s classic baby!

meet me in st louis: very sweet very fun lots to love

an american in paris: kinda ran out of juice near the end here and realized Musicals is the Same. anyways watch it gene kelly is charming and can click his heels together 

horror/sci fi

dracula: sexy. iconic. what more do you need

frankenstein: really has a Heart unlike a lot of these, also Iconic

bride of frankenstein: made me cry! see above but like, More

just realized im listing all the universal monster movies, so just, watch Any of those for a good and cheesy classic horror time

the day the earth stood still: a real cold war era movie about aliens and morality

plan 9 from outer space: a HILARIOUS so-bad-it’s-good old sci fi movie, highly recommend 

them!: giant radiation ants babey! really good effects for the time n well done suspense

honorable mention: this is past the cut off date but watch santa claus conquers the martians oh my gosh it’s the epitome of old b list sci fi and it never fails to send me n pals into a regular Laugh Riot

[lolbtsaus]

An Introduction to Jung Hoseok

So now it is time for the wonderful Jung Hoseok aka J-Hope aka hobi

This post is for any new Armys out there but it’s also for people who have been around for a while, it’s an appreciation post meets an introduction post

I have quite a few appreciation posts dedicated to Hobi, too many to link tbh but here is my official hobi appreciation post

Also if I miss out on something you love about him or a moment of his that you love, feel free to reply to this post with whatever you wanna add or reblog this and leave it as a comment on there, I’d love to read your guys’ personal favorite moments or qualities about Hoseok, these are just gonna be my personal favorites or things that have stuck out to me

Now an introduction to Hoseok

His full name is Jung Hoseok and his stage name is J-Hope

He is also known as Hobi, both by the fandom and the boys

His birthday is February 18th and he was born in ‘94, making him 24 internationally and either 25 or 26 in S. Korea

I’m not super into astrology but he is an Aquarius (he’s on the cusp though I think that means something in astrology)

He is the third oldest member and he’s also in the ‘94 line with Namjoon

Hoseok is another one of the three official rappers in the group

He’s done an amazing solo song called Mama, which I would highly recommend watching a live performance of bc it is honestly breathtaking to watch him perform at all but especially that song bc his face just lights up and the ending oof I love that song so much

He’s also done a solo song that was an intro, called Boy Meets Evil and when I tell you the choreography to that song is amazing, I’m not exaggerating but I’m gonna get into his dancing in a minute

Would also recommend watching the live performance of Boy Meets Evil, he did one for the MAMA awards, the segment also featured Jimin which was really cool but he has performed it solo if you wanna see that as well

It was released as a comeback trailer, which can be found on the official bighit channel would also recommend that basically just watch all the hobi videos bc you will not be disappointed

Hobi has also come out with a mixtape, titled Hope World

Two singles were released from it, Daydream and Airplane

It was released this year after a lot of anticipation, similar to Yoongi’s mixtape, it was teased for a long time but was definitely worth the wait

It was a ma z ing but were we surprised???? nOPe

He has also done a pre-mixtape song called 1 Verse which is still a j a m (I don’t think he’s ever performed it live but if he has p l z send me a link I will literally be so fucking grateful)

I would describe hobi’s rap style as melodic

Hobi does this thing sometimes where he’ll be half rapping, half singing, like he’ll combine the two and it’s honestly beautiful

Hobi’s singing voice is so underrated and even though he’s a rapper, our boy can sing

I think he was just bumped up to sub vocalist?? like if that doesn’t say something about his vocals idk what will

Hobi is one of the four official dancers in the group (is it four now?? I think Tae was added to the dance line officially by bighit but he’s part of the dance line in my mind so I’m gonna include him in there bc he deserves it)

I literally can’t even describe how amazing of a dancer hobi is like it just doesn’t have words

His dancing is the type of dancing that just holds your attention no matter what and you’re just in awe

He focuses more on hip hop styles of dance, he’s like an ex p e r t in popping (someone p l z get him and Lia Kim in a room together I beg of you)

He’s also a bit of a leader when it comes to dance, helps teach the boys choreo

Now for things hobi is known for within the fandom

Literal sunshine

Smile?? Bright !! Laughter?? Literally rainbows and sunshine !!

Laugh is really loud and happy and :(( beautiful

Cute noises !!!!

If you haven’t seen the “BTS21″ performance of Anpanman, he makes this r e a l l y cute noise at the end but there are literally entire videos dedicated to his cute lil sound effects !!!!! 10/10 recommend watching !!

“Pa pa pa pa pa”

Hope on the Street

Hobi’s done a series of videos called Hope on the Street, which are him dancing, typically solo, sometimes with someone else

There are a few on the BangtanTV channel, there are a couple live versions of VLive and there are a couple on Twitter I believe

“I’m your hope, I’m your angel, I’m J-Hope!”

Literal awkward silence saver

In the American interviews, whenever hobi saw that maybe a member was feeling uncomfortable or didn’t know what to say or there was just an awkward silence possibly starting up, he’d step in and stop that shit in its tracks

Would distract !! Would take over a lil bit to get them through the question so no one had to feel awkward or put on the spot

Has a dog named Mickey 

If you’ve never heard hobi baby talk this dog, go look up clips of them together rn bc it is seriously so fucking precious he loves that dog so much

Girl group enthusiast

Loves Sprite

Affectionate !!! Forever hugging the other members, letting them hug him, forever trying to give them kisses

Babies them !!! Li t er al ly babies Jungkook so much

Once put his jacket on for him

Called Jin a mite once for clinging onto him and made it a running joke

Otsukare song

Can make pretty much anyone laugh

DEFINES C U T E

Ethereal? Ethereal.

Speaking of ethereal, here are some of my favorite hobi looks

I think the first one is ob v io u s bc this look was beauty

Red hair!Hobi

A blessed look

It was in the DNA era b ut it stuck around for a while

Hobi has said it’s one of his favorite colors on him and you know what hobi I agree

It made his skin just g l o w it made him look tan and you kn o w I love when hobi’s tan skin comes thro ugh

A close second that is kinda related to the red is orange hair!Hobi

She was from the BST era, aka the Wings era

Maybe I just like red based colors on him but iDK MAN HE LOOKS FINE AS HELL

I loved the orange so much??? I can’t remember how long it actually stuck around but it was a beautiful time

And of course, you already know what I’m gonna say next

Black hair!Hobi

What is it about black hair on these boys that makes me wanna fight

Hobi just looks r e a l ly good with black hair okay I’ll literally fight on this

I think my favorite black hair on him may be from the Run era but I also really love curls on him so I had to choose this one

He’s had black hair in a few different eras but this particular look is from the Fake Love era (it’s an Airplane Pt. 2 performance)

But that wraps up my introduction to Hobi, make sure to give him some love and appreciation bc he is a very important member of BTS (as all of them are) and deserves to be given the same love and support as the rest of the members

[greenroverman]

Needs A Title...

The sound of chewing snapped me out of this incredible dream I was having about a redhead in a convertible, a glossy red Ferrari with camel leather interior and custom chrome wheels with the high performance, low-profile tires. I just wanted to drive it around the block four or five times and see what it could do, maybe hit the open road and really open it up. In my dream, I was just about to ask the redhead to scooch on over and then sit in the driver’s seat when I heard the loud gnashing sound. I could feel tingling and moisture on my arm, sharp teeth were tearing into my hand. Surprisingly, I couldn’t feel pain – I guess that’s the first stage of shock. I believe shock is appropriate when being chewed on by a very upset chipmunk. It serves me right for falling dead asleep in that old sagging oak tree in the middle of nowhere. The most important question I had at that time was not: what was a pissed off rodent doing snacking on my arm, but where were my pants?

     Pants are strangely important when lost in the middle of nowhere. My keys, wallet, and a fancy pistol that I took from an exotic dancer named Mercedes were also missing. I’m hoping they were together, waiting for me, maybe huddled together. After kindly removing my bloody appendage from the chipmunk’s mouth, and scolding the little rat for taking advantage of a passed out traveler, I sat up and looked around. The tree was the same, but last time I checked Earth had a blue sky, not green, and we only had one moon not five. I think this situation might bump the pants down to priority two. The air smelled like rotten garbage mixed with old motor oil. The green sky was surprisingly clear and the five moons shone bright, lighting up the vast emptiness surrounding me. I’ve got an oak tree, a chipmunk, and no pants – what was in that last cocktail? This is either an incredibly vivid trip or the most elaborate hoax I’ve ever seen. I guess a distant third choice was that I wound up on some alien planet after having the most insane night ever. I think I’m going to have a flashback here…

     Things had started normal enough: dinner at Jimmy’s Fine Italian dining with my buddy Sal, then out to Bubble’s club on the west side – where there was this amazing act involving a…chipmunk! I knew I had seen that little guy before – he does good work! From there I was just a passenger in Ms. Cheeky LaPoosh’s limo. Cheeky kept plying me with social lubricant to get me to talk about what I do for a living, but why would Cheeky be interested in a trauma monkey like me. I told her I worked the late shift at the Emergency Center on the south side, the one in the neighborhood where gunshot wounds were passed out like popsicles on a summer day at kid’s camp. My job as a surgeon was a lot like an Asian kid in a Nike sweatshop – keep on sewing and keep the stitching tight. I suppose I was getting good at it – made employee of the month in June. But that was all she was getting out of me, at least at that moment.

     The limo stopped at a place called Flush and we all stumbled out. The bouncer recognized Cheeky and hurried us to a private booth in the back. And that’s when thing got interesting: a bottle of some unrecognizable liquid and 3-4 bags filled with an assorted rainbow of pills. I wasn’t the type to participate – I usually just watched and waited for someone to pass out, knowing first aid would be needed. I’m not sure if something fell into my drink or if it was deliberate, but I think I swallowed a green and a red, and maybe a blue. I do know that the room was spinning and I was either on the floor or the ceiling. I finally woke up in the back of the limo with Cheeky and Sal and 4-5 other people I didn’t recognize. A deep conversation about some pop psychology drivel was forming, something about hand washing and moral purity. The theory presented by the pleather couch brigade was that people who wash their hands frequently were more likely to be upstanding humans. Based on the amount of pills and alcohol consumed, this brood had certainly never washed their hands in their lives. But honestly, I couldn’t hear details over the roar of the freight train running through my head. Someone handed me a bottle of something and I drained it – thankfully it was only water. I leaned my head back against the window and closed my eyes.

     I was startled awake by a gunshot and a scream, the smell of gunpowder was close so “we” must’ve done the shooting. Of course, the sound of the scream was also close, so “we” must’ve been shot! One of the girls with us, a delightful stripper stereotypically named after a luxury automobile, Mercedes had shot Sal in the leg for having inappropriate body boundaries, which is normally appropriate, but there may or may not have been a transaction or barter. Can’t say I blame her either way. But eight years as a trauma surgery in the nastiest hospital in the metro-area had prepared me for this moment. I doused the wound with a half-bottle of Vodka then used the ice cube grabber to dig into the wound to remove the bullet. My tie made a decent tourniquet and then my Armani shirt became a compress. Did you know that Armani uses a specific type of wool found only in one particular area of Italy known for its high-absorbance properties – in fact after a rain, the sheep usually can’t move because of the amount of rain they soaked up. Crisis averted, I took away the gun from Mercedes and stuffed it in my suit coat pocket – why did she need a .40 S&W pistol with custom grips, easy-pull trigger, and 16-round high-capacity magazine? I suppose there are those out there that would question why I wouldn’t need one. Although, the thought occurred to me that we do live in a rather violent time in a violent city with creepy guys like Sal around.

     Sal was a little worn out at this point, wanting to go home. We dropped Sal off at his place, it was a dump – walking in you would think that the place was tossed by thieves looking for something, but no, Sal was just a slob. I made sure he was tucked in bed with some pain killers and the roaches. I figure I would check up on him tomorrow on the way to work. I glanced at the clock on the microwave while walking out the door, it screamed 3 A.M., plenty of night left.

I decided to hitch a ride back to my car with Cheeky. I had parked in a dimly light space on the second floor of the hospital parking garage. Cheeky invited me back to her place for a night cap. I figured it would be prudent to turn it down at this point and head home – plus after witnessing the shooting of my best friend, and the strange mixture of whatever I had taken earlier, I figured that would be the safest place for me.

Unlocking the door of my midnight black Mercedes-Benz AMG coupe, I sat in the plush leather sport seat for a moment to catch my breath. I had expected a simple dinner and maybe a few drinks, instead I wound up hanging out with a stripper queen named Cheeky, a gun wielding psycho, and had one hell of a headache. Time to go home, take some Tylenol, (yes, Doctors really recommend it) and go to bed!

I backed out of my space carefully. Despite my foibles, I was a fairly cautious driver, mostly. I cruised down the spiral to the garage exit. The road was empty, so I gave it a blast with my right foot. The twin turbo V-8 engine with excessive horses roared to life and left a decent strip of tire and smoke in my wake. The ridiculous zero-to-sixty time passed smoothly and the speedometer told me I hit 100 mph in around 6 seconds.

Yellow lines blurred into a paste smeared behind me as I cruised on the highway. I decided to take the long winding road, the path I rarely travelled. I had the speedo pegged at about 110 mph when a deer bound out into the middle of the road. Hitting anything at that speed is like running full speed into a brick wall – it’s going to hurt and something will break.

Blood splattered the windshield. I went off the road straight into a tree. I heard the bang, slam, and smelled the acrid smoke pouring out of the engine compartment. Hollywood would lead us to believe that the car would burst into flames at this point and then explode into a three-story fireball. Fortunately, fireballs don’t happen most of the time. The Mercedes was a crumpled mess. I survived, thank God for air bags, and opened the door – good engineering required that the door still be able to open in a catastrophic accident. The deer was in the middle of the road, writhing in pain.

     I never shot anything before, but the poor bastard didn’t deserve to go out like this – suffering from grievous wounds. The .40 S&W was a powerful, highly accurate round – the bullet caught the deer just below the eye socket, leaving a small entry wound but the back of its skull was blown out onto the asphalt. I figure that was the most decent thing I’ve ever done in my life.

     This is the point where I get a little fuzzy. I was standing there shaking from the crash and from putting the deer down and I remember a bright light. I heard a ringing in my ears and a loud sound like a bomb exploding – and no, it wasn’t the Mercedes exploding into a Bay-esque fireball, I checked.

And that’s when I woke up to being a chipmunk snack.

The green sky and the smell of the air had a disconcerting effect on my fragile mind. I had one weird night, but this was over the top. Where were my pants? I don’t swear much, but I feel that this circumstance warrants it. So I looked at the beautiful five moon sky and let out a stream of obscenities that would make a trucker blush.

Bearings. I needed to get my bearings. I was standing in a field next to an oak tree. The chipmunk was a sleep – maybe he was dead – I could only hope! I stretched my legs, after a nasty car crash you would think that I would start to feel sore or cramp up. I surprisingly felt…alive, like I could run, jump, or wrestle an angry chipmunk.

Scanning the horizon, I saw a glimmering object about 30 feet away, hoping it was my pants, I walked towards it. It wasn’t my pants, but the gun. I worked the action and checked the magazine like I’ve seen in the movies; I knew I had at least 2 bullets. I would imagine that having a loaded weapon in a strange world would have a calming effect, but I felt scared. Where was I? What would I face? How do I get home?

I decided to keep walking in the direction I found the gun, maybe my pants were close as well. In front of me was a dense forest of blue pine trees – not blue spruce, but actual blue pines. Was I in a Dr. Suess book? The important thing to note is that they smelled like pine trees, that sweet sappy smell that I love. I closed my eyes and breathed and it was as if I was at home in my backyard. I lived on 20 acres in the woods – I might be a highly-skilled medical doctor, but I was a country boy at heart. Pine has a calming effect on my spirit.

Venturing into the woods further, I crossed a creek that ran with green water. Flowing over rocks and around sand bars, I figured it was safe to drink, even if it seemed to have a high algae content, at least that’s what I figured it was. The banks of the creek were lined with broad leafed plants that formed natural cups. I plucked off the nearest leaf and dipped it into the cool, flowing water. I had to test it, so I dipped my pinky into the water – it didn’t burn or melt my finger off. Test one, successful. I dipped my finger in again and put a drop in my mouth. It was the best tasting water I have ever had in my life. Although it was cold, I felt warmth in my stomach. I took a long pull from the leaf and immediately felt refreshed. I drank until I was satisfied – about half of a leaf full of the amazing water.

I decided to keep moving, those pants weren’t going to find themselves.  After walking for what seemed like an hour, the forest started to thin out. I stopped at the edge of a clearing and there ahead of me was the most amazing sight I had ever seen in my life. A wall. This was a special wall, it was 100 feet tall – I guess. And it looked like it was made out of solid gold! But in my mind, all that mattered was that a wall meant civilization, that meant people, and that meant…pants.

The wall was a journey in itself. It took three hours of hiking around the circumference to find an entrance. The break in the wall was a wooden door, about 20 feet tall. There were cobwebs on the door and rust on the hinges – this obviously wasn’t the main gate. I tried the knob on the door, figuring it was locked. Surprisingly it was not and it opened rather easily. The door opened into the pitch black, but better there than in the woods – I was one step closer to pants.

I figured the room I stepped into was filled with books. There was that musty smell of old paper and leather, aged with time into a crisp mildewed odor mixing with the sweet mahogany of the bookshelves. I felt along the wall of the room for a switch, and was shocked to actually find one. I flipped the switch and a single light bulb flickered and began to give off a faint hum and then warmed into a steady dim glow. Sure enough, I was in a library or archive of some sorts, but from all the dust and spider webs I figure it hadn’t seen visitors in years.

The room wasn’t particularly large, about as big as a bedroom in a suburban house – one of those planned community things – little boxes as the song says. Shelves covered every wall floor to ceiling – and dust covered that. There were a few tables in the room, covered in books as well – stacks 10-12 books high in places, others were open and laying on top of the piles. The floor was just as dusty as the rest of the room and I didn’t see any footprints or signs of life – other than mine.

I had found civilization, but it sure seemed abandoned. I decided to look at the books that were open on the table to see if I could recognize anything about them. Imagine my surprise when I was able to read the writing! I picked up the book and sat in the only place in the room, a huge high backed wooden chair covered with intricate carvings in a foreign script. The seat was padded and covered in a rich red leather – and dust. I began reading the tome and found that it was a treatise on patience and I immediately wanted to skip that book to the next, but I decided to read a few paragraphs and found myself becoming calmer. As I read it seemed as though time stopped and I forgot I was in an alien environment. I finished the book and was amazed at the clarity and reasoning, I felt a measure of new confidence and security – was that book magic?

I picked another book from the pile; it had a wooden cover with the same intricate carvings as the chair, totally unrecognizable symbols. The book was heavy, much heavier than its size would let on, and after reading the first paragraph I figured out why it had so much weight – the subject matter was very deep.

A ship from a safe port had set out to sea, unsure of its destination. It began moving through the ocean in one direction and ran into a terrible storm. The waves pounded the ship and damaged the rudder. The poor ship was throw like a baseball from one wave to another, the sails were torn, and the crew was terrified.

When the storm had passed, the crew made a few repairs to the sails and started moving again, further into the ocean rather than back to the safety of the harbor. Another storm struck the vessel and tore at the mast and ripped at the crew, many lives were lost and the ship took on much water. But then calm came again and the remaining crew set about repairing what damage they could – a tattered sail with patches was the best they could muster. They continued on towards the open waters, hoping to find a new port for repairs. Eventually they came to a port, but it was filled with pirates and thieves, the crew barely escaped in their damaged ship.

Again they sailed out into the open ocean and finally, they ran into a hurricane. The waves ran higher than they had ever seen. The fierce wind hit like a sledgehammer. The ship, already damaged, was destroyed and the crew drowned in the horrible blackness.

The end of the book had a single note:

Think of your life as the ship and the storms as the trials you face. Do you continue aimlessly or do you return to your port of safety?

I sat for a moment after reading and wept. I realize that I had always lived my life going from crisis to crisis, my crazy night was a prime example. What did I need to learn from this?

That’s when I saw something that caught my eye on the table. A tall yellowed piece of parchment with bold lettering across the top: WANTED. The image was a familiar face – button nose, cruel eyes, buck teeth, and whiskers. Apparently his name was Charmine the Chipmunk. He was wanted for horrible, horrible crimes that I won’t mention here. Dead or Alive – I immediately felt for the gun tucked into my tattered underwear. How I wish I had pants!

>

[swiftsnowmane]

You have such great taste, so I'm coming to you for advice. What are your recommendations for art house Halloween movies?

Oh, what an excellent ask! I absolutely love artistic horror films, but I’m by no means an expert on them. Since I wasn’t sure if I had enough to recommend, I decided to just make a compilation that best exemplifies my personaltastes. Many do not have anything to do with Halloween, and some are not eventechnically ‘horror’ films at all, but are simply films and/or series that Ienjoy watching at this time of year.  :)

Below you will find a widevariety of recommendations, including silent film, film noir, gothic horror,sci-fi and dark fantasy, vampire films, zombie movies, tv series, comedies, parodies, mockumentaries,and my greatest love….folk horror.

Silent film:

- The Cabinet of Dr.Caligari (1920), dir. Robert Wiene – Iconic and a highly-influential silentGerman expressionist film about a creepy ‘doctor’ who hypnotizes a sleep-walker(a ‘sonambulist’) to do his bidding.

- The Phantom Carriage (1921), dir. Victor Sjöström–  On New Year’s Eve, the driver of a ghostly carriage forces a drunken man to look back at his wasted life.

- Häxan (1922),dir. Benjamin Christensen – Fictionalized Swedish-Danish documentary aboutwitches and witchcraft through the ages. Often categorized as folk horror, thisfilm contains evocative visuals and some memorable dramatizations, including a (literally) hysterical ‘nuns gone wild’ sequence. Despite its sensationalism, it is actually quite a sympathetic take on thetragedy of witch hunts, from the medieval era to the contemporary (1920s)treatment of women with mental illnesses.

- The Lodger(1927), dir. Alfred Hitchcock – Considered by critics to be the first true‘Hitchcock’ movie, this silent film is suspenseful, visually entrancing, and surprisingly moving. One of my personal favourites.

Other old movie classics:

- Double Indemnity (1944),dir. Billy Wilder – An insurance man falls for a married woman, and togetherthey begin to plan the murder of her husband. A noir classic, the first tocontain all the elements that would come to define the genre. A favourite ofmine.

- Laura (1944),dir. Otto Preminger – Another filmnoir fave, this time a murder mystery starring the mesmerizing Gene Tierney. Oneof the (many) inspirations for Laura Palmer in Twin Peaks. ‘Not just anotherdead girl,’ indeed.

- The Innocents (1961), dir. - [summary forthcoming]

- The Seventh Seal(1957), dir. Ingmar Bergman – This Swedish existentialist meditation on deathand mortality needs no introduction from me. Not a horror movie per se, but dueto its themes and visuals, it is very haunting all the same.

- Hour of the Wolf(1968), dir. Ingmar Bergman – Another Bergman classic, this time a surrealistpsychological horror-drama. A man lives with his pregnant wife on a remoteisland, and suffers from insomnia. He begins to be plagued by visions of‘demons’ and haunted by images from his past.

- Hitchcock films– Some of my personal faves include TheLady Vanishes (1938), Notorious (1946– noir classic), Spellbound (1945 -worth watching for the stunning surrealist dream sequence designed by SalvadorDali), Rear Window (perhaps not asvisually interesting as my usual picks, but a nostalgic fave that I used towatch with my dad), Psycho (1960 -cliché to list this  one, I know, but Ido  legitimately enjoy this film), Vertigo (1958 - another I used to watchwith my dad), and two of my absolute faves, Rebecca (1940 – see below) and the aforementioned The Lodger (1927).

-Hammer horror (aka British horror of the ‘50s-70s) - you can’t go wrong with the Hammer Dracula series, and/or anything starring Sir Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing. -  [summaries forthcoming]

Halloween films:

- Sleepy Hollow(1999), dir. Tim Burton – Fave Tim Burton film. Fave Johnny Depp film. FaveHalloween film. Just fave.

- Trick ‘r Treat(2007), dir. Michael Dougherty  –  Of all the quintessential, straight up‘Halloween’ movies, this anthology horror film is another top pick. It’s justsuch good fun.

- The Crow(1994), dir. Alex Proyas - A list of my personal faves could not be completewithout this fantastical, noir-ish tale of lost love and revenge. A nostalgicclassic.

Other ‘scary movies’:

- Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon (2006 mockumentary), dir. Scott Glosserman  - I’m not all that into *actual* slasher flicks (other than the original Halloween, which still to this day scares the shit out of me), but I’ve always greatly enjoyed this satirical take on the subject. :D

- Return of the Living Dead (1985), dir. Dan O’Bannon – While zombie films aren’t necessarily my fave horror sub-genre either, I can’t help but adore this one. Early Greg Nicotero visual effects on full display. Not to mention the iconic naked dancing in the graveyard scene.

- The Crazies (2010), dir. Breck Eisner – Probably my fave ‘zombie’ film. I use that term loosely as it’s not really about zombies, but it has a similar vibe. This movie immediately pre-dated The W@lking Dead, and now that I can no longer stand to watch that awful show, it has sort of become my preferred ‘version’ of this type of scenario.

Vampire films:

- Vampire Hunter D:Bloodlust (2000), dir. Yoshiaki Kawajiri – With its incredibly rich anddetailed visual design, based on the art of Yoshitaka Amano, and an evocativepost-apocalyptic western/ gothic setting, this classic anime film is along-time fave. When I was younger I wanted to live (and die) inside the aestheticof this film, and to this day it remains my favourite vampire movie. Alsocontains one of my all-time favourite vampire/human romances, the Hades andPersephone-esque Charlotte and Meier.

- Let the Right OneIn (2008), dir. Thomas Alfredson  - Swedishvampire movie. Not the sort of thing you’re probably expecting, either.

- 30 Days of Night(2007), dir. David Slade – One of the few vampire films in which the vampires actually terrified me.

- From Dusk till Dawn(1996), dir. Quentin Tarantino – Over the top action-horror ridiculousness. Myfavourite thing about this film is that it includes a scene of a young girlgetting her white t-shirt splattered with blood. Bethyl fans will understandwhat I mean. ;D

- What We Do In theShadows (2014), dir. Jemaine Clement and Taika Waititi – Mockumentary aboutvampires in New Zealand. Probably my fave thing I’ve seen in years. HIGHLYrecommended. :D

Dark fantasy/sci-fi:

- The Company ofWolves (1984), dir. Neil Jordan – A young girl in present day has a feverishdream in which she and her family live in a fairytale forest. After her oldersister is killed by a wolf, she repeatedly dares the dangers of ‘the wood’ tovisit her grandmother. Based on Angela Carter’s tale from The Bloody Chamber, with a screenplay co-written by Carter herself,this film is a must-see for anyone who enjoys a blend of eroticism and horrorin their Little Red Riding Hood tales. Despite the low-budget and cheesy qualityof some of the effects, I totally love this movie. :D

- Brotherhood of theWolf (2001), dir. Christophe Gans – Perhaps not the greatest film evermade, but I have an eternal soft spot for the legend of the Beast of Gévaudan.Not to mention my girl-crush on Monica Bellucci, lol.

- Angel’s Egg (1985) - [summary forthcoming]

- Pitch Black (2000),dir. David Twohy – The other films in this franchise might be more famous, butthe first entry is, imo, a sci-fi horror classic. My favourite part is thedynamic between the ‘boy’ Jack and the notorious criminal, Riddick.

- Pan’s Labyrinth (2006),dir. Guillermo del Toro - In 1940s Spain, a young girl finds escape from thebrutal fascist regime by visiting a labyrinthine underworld full of strange andmagical creatures.

- The Prestige(2006), dir. Christopher Nolan – In late 19th c. London, rival stagemagicians obsessively compete to find the best stage illusion, with strange,and often tragic, results. Not a horror film, but an intense and suspenseful thrillerall the same.

- Solomon Kane(2009), dir. Michael J. Bassett – Based loosely on the classic pulp-fiction stories ofRobert E. Howard (aka, creator of Conan the Barbarian), this film is a mix ofdark fantasy and horror elements. JamesPurefoy and Rachel Hurd-Wood in a SanSan-esque type dynamic. Super cheesy, yes,but such a guilty pleasure, OMG.

Gothic romance/horror (aka, ‘young woman goes to live at manor house and creepy things ensue’ ):

- Jane Eyre (2006BBC miniseries), dir. Susanna White – There are countless adaptations of thisclassic, and all have their merits. While the 2011 Hollywood movie has a higherbudget and some very lovely visuals, for me, nothing tops the version with TobyStephens as Rochester!!

- Northanger Abbey(2007), dir. Jon Jones – My personal fave adaptation of Jane Austen’s gothic horror satire, starring an adorable young Felicity Jones as thewide-eyed, imaginative heroine.

- Rebecca (1940),dir.  Alfred Hitchcock – A self-consciousyoung bride is tormented by the memory of her husband’s late wife. LawrenceOlivier and Joan Fontaine in a visually haunting Hitchcock classic.

- Dragonwyck (1946), dir. Joseph L.Mankiewicz – In the 1840s, a young women from a Connecticut farming community isinvited to the estate of a wealthy patroon.Worth watching for the ever gorgeous Gene Tierney and an extremely attractiveyoung Vincent Price. Such good chemistry!

- The Crimson Petaland the White (2011 BBC miniseries) – Based on the novel by Michael Faber,this is the story of Sugar, a prostitute in 1870s London, and what happens whenshe becomes the mistress of a wealthy soapmaker. At once sensual and deeplyunsettling. Plays heavily on the Victorian theme of ‘the angel in thehouse’.  Highly recommended.

- Crimson Peak(2015), dir. Guillermo del Toro – A culmination of all of the tropes andplotlines from the classics mentioned above (with the most direct nods to Dragonwyck).Guillermo del Toro takes the horror elements that are generally only present asundercurrent in these gothic romance stories and brings them, in all theirgrotesque and terrifying glory, to the surface.

Folk horror:

- The VVitch (2015), dir. Robert Eggers – In 1600’s New England, a puritan family must move from the safety of a settlement to the edge of the wilderness. One of my top favourite folk horror films, ever.  

- A Field in England (2013), dir. Ben Wheatley – Deserters of an English Civil War battle travel through an eerily empty English countryside landscape on a psychedelia-tinged trip. This film is not for everyone, but is visually stunning and ticks many of my personal boxes. HIGHLY recommended for anyone who enjoys alchemical themes and imagery.  A folk horror masterpiece.

- The Wicker Man (1973), dir. Robin Hardy – This iconic film needs no introduction. Features one of my all-time favourite Sir Christopher Lee performances, as the incomparable Lord Summerisle. A must-see for anyone remotely interested in the folk horror genre.

- Witchfinder General(1968), dir. Michael Reeves  –Another 17th century period classic, starring Vincent Price as the villainousMatthew Hopkins, aka the Witchfinder General. While perhaps not as well-belovedfor me as the three listed above, I very much appreciate this film’s settingand overall aesthetic, as well as its absolutely beautiful soundtrack.

- The Devil Rides Out (1968) - [summary forthcoming]

- The Blood on Satan’s Claw (1971)  - [summary forthcoming] 

- Black Death(2010), dir. Christopher Smith - Sean Bean, Eddie Redmayne, and Carice VanHouten in a supernatural-tinged medieval thriller. Essentially, ‘The Wicker Man’-meets-‘Heartof Darkness’, set to the backdrop of the black plague.

- Apostle (2018) - [summary forthcoming]

Misc/other:

- The Devil’s Whore(2008 miniseries), dir. Marc Munden – Despite the title, this is not actually ahorror movie, but is an exquisitely beautiful romantic period drama, set duringthe English Civil Wars. One of my all-time favourite historical miniseries,ever.

- Flesh + Blood(1985), dir. Paul Verhoeven – Set in Italy in 1501, Rutger Hauer is a leader ofa ruthless band of mercenaries and Jennifer Jason Leigh is the young maiden whobecomes their captive. Not a ‘horror’ film in technical sense, but Verhoeven’stypical bloody visuals and dark themes and tone secure it a place on this list.TRIGGER WARNING: Contains an intenserape scene.  

- Imprint (2007),dir. Michael Linn – Native Americanfolklore-based suspense/thriller. One of the many reasons I love this film isthat it was actually filmed onlocation in South Dakota (you have no idea how many times filmmakers try to pass off California landscapes as ‘SouthDakota’, it’s soo annoying).

- Southern Comfort(1981), dir. Walter Hill - In 1973, a Louisiana Army National Guard squad ontheir weekend maneuvers in rural bayou country antagonize the local Cajunpeople and end up ruthlessly hunted. A southern gothic thriller, with someWicker Man-esque elements.

- Winter’s Bone(2010), dir. Debra Granik – A teenage girl in the rural Ozarks must track downher missing father in order to protect her family. Not a horror film, but aquietly intense thriller.  A personalfave of mine.

- The Revenant (2015), dir. Alejandro González Iñarrítu– [summary forthcoming]

- Wind River (2017), dir. Taylor Sheridan – [summary forthcoming]

- Dunkirk (2017), dir. Christopher Nolan –[summary forthcoming]

- Trollhunter (2010), dir. André Øvredal  – Taking the form of a ‘found footage’ mockumentary, this movie follows filmmakers who set out to capture images of elusive Norwegian trolls

- Ed Wood (1994),dir. Tim Burton – Not a horror film, but rather a biographical comedy-dramabased on the life of the titular B-movie producer. An underrated TimBurton/Johnny Depp classic.

- Clue (1985), dir. Jonathan Lynn - A classic comedy, and one of my all ‘round fave murder mystery movies. No matter how many times I’ve seen it, this infinitely quotable film still makes me laugh, every time.

- The Whisperer InDarkness (2011), dir. Sean Branney  –Independent film, based on H. P. Lovecraft story of the same name. Made with ablend of vintage and modern techniques, intended to evoke the style of filmsfrom the 1930s.

- From Hell (2001),dir. the Hughes brothers – Murder mystery/thriller based on the Alan Mooregraphic novel. Gruesome and memorable interpretation of the unsolved tale ofJack the Ripper.

TV series:

- Ripper Street (2012tv series) – A period-drama procedural set in the aftermath of the Jack theRipper killings in late-Victorian Whitechapel, London. Centers around ChiefDetective-Inspector Reid, who is haunted by his inability to catch the serialkiller, as well as by dark events from his own past. (I only recommend thefirst two seasons, however, as after that the quality of the storylines greatlydecreased, imo).

- The League of Gentlemen(1999 tv series) – Legendary dark comedy/folk horror series created by MarkGatiss, Reece Shearsmith, Steve Pemberton, and Jeremy Dyson. If you enjoy the bizarre and grotesqueside of British humour, look no further. (See also the Christmas Special (set between series 2&3), The League of Gentlemen’s Apocalyse (2005), and the most recent, and incredibly well-done, Anniversary Special (2017)). 

- Psychoville (2009BBC series) - British psychologicalhorror/black comedy sitcom, created by above-mentioned The League of Gentlemen’s Reece Shearsmith and Steve Pemberton. Memorablecharacters include David and Maureen (a hilariously creepy mother and son duo),Mr. Jelly, a grumpy clown who never removes his face paint, and Jeremy thelibrarian, who is tormented by a mysterious nemesis, the Lynchian ‘Silent Singer’.

- Inside No. 9 (2014tv series) – Another excellent show by the evil geniuses that are ReeceShearsmith and Steve Pemberton, this is a series of stand-alone episodes that Ican only describe as ‘short stories on film’, each in sightly different genre. Someare comedic, some are psychological, some homages to famous things, some sad,some bizarre, some are downright terrifying (there is an episode entitled‘The Devil of Christmas’ that was probably the most disturbing thing I’ve seen in a longtime).

- Twin Peaks(1991 tv series), by Mark Frost and David Lynch – Don’t think I even need toexplain why this seminal and endlessly influential show makes the list!

- Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries (2012 tv series) – Not remotely scary, or even remotely ‘horror’, this is rather a delightful little romantic period drama about a lady detective in 1920s Melbourne, Australia. Cheesy as hell at times, but worth it for the absolutely delicious chemistry between the two leads.

- Stranger Things (2016 tv series) – The first season is iconic in its own right, and the second season did NOT disappoint. This show is just the right combo of creepiness and comforting nostalgia. Not to mention the wonderfully-written and endlessly endearing cast of characters. I love it so much.  

Currentlywatching:

- Bates Motel (2013tv series) – Started watching this over the summer, and it is extremelywell-made and most definitely creepy and unsettling in every possible way.  I was very impressed so far, but I had totemporarily stop watching because this past summer was a difficult timeemotionally, and I didn’t want to compound things by watching something sopotentially disturbing. I plan to resume it asap, though!

- Project Blue Book (2019 tv series) - [more detailed summary forthcoming] Creepy/mysterious period drama about UFO coverups in the 1950s.

On my ‘still towatch’ list (**updated 08/04/2019):

Kwaidan (1965)

The Love Witch (2016)

Only Lovers Left Alive (2013)

The City of the Dead (1960)

The Masque of the Red Death (1964)

Picnic at Hanging Rock 

Penda’s Fen

Robin Redbreast

Tam-Lin (1970)

The Borderlands (2013)

Kill List (2011)  - tried watching this one, but struggled to get through it, tbh

Mullholland Drive (2001)

Penny Dreadful (2014 tv series)

I realize that the majority of these are not ‘art house’ films by any definition, but I hope this list is nonetheless of some interest. If I’ve left out anything essential, it’s probably because it’s either slipped my mind, or I simply haven’t seen it yet. 

Thanks again for the ask – it’s reminded me of some excellent films I hadn’t thought about in a while. :) 

[yourphysiotherapist]

EXERCISE PRESCRIPTION FOR WEIGHT LOSS

By: WREN JOHN FABIAN

  Beginning early 2017 I have noticed that people are becoming more conscious about their health and being fit, probably, because of the rampant rise of the social media influencers. Don’t get me wrong, but it is a good thing.  The sudden spread of the Corona Virus (COVID19) beginning last year increases the interest of humanity to develop a healthy lifestyle, to enhance more of their well being when it comes to health and immunity to diseases. Many have become more cautious and apprehensive about getting contaminated or exposed to any viruses or diseases around. People running or walking or simply doing some calisthenics in the park are noticeably increasing in numbers without minding the social distances that the government has implemented a couple of months back. Not to mention the increase of numbers of people doing their own exercises too in the confinement of their own homes.

 It is our duty as Physiotherapist to assist and back these people up in designing customized exercises that suits them and assure that it is in what we call the weight loss zone, especially those who have any preexisting conditions. Not all exercises fit everybody, some may improve others, but some may harm.  It is not a one-size-fits-all thing.

 In prescribing an exercise to a patient always take consider the health history of an individual, any risk factor that may arise, the individual strength, mobility and flexibility.  It is as well a must to know any orthopedic conditions a person have, for some exercises might work for Mark but is harmful for John.

 A good exercise prescription must contain the following:

1.       Mode of Exercise

2.       Intensity

3.       Duration

4.       Frequency

5.       Progression

 Whatever the condition of a person is always and always starts with a 15minute warm-up exercises.  A warm up exercises must be low intensity which incorporates some breathing exercise techniques. Stretching must be quick and not more than 20seconds-hold prior to exercise, this is like starting the engine of a car, giving our muscles a tap to wake up and be ready, then follow with a low intensity warm up exercises.

 An effective exercise must be aerobic in nature which is good for majority of our patients and uses large group of muscles.  It may last for 15minutes to an hour of continuous exercise, but may progress later on. Be mindful that some exercises are inappropriate for cardiac patients but walking, bicycling, walk-jogging are usually bearable for uncomplicated cardiac patients depending on their Metabolic Index Score.

 Now before you begin your exercise, first, determine your target heart rate.  Why is it important to know your Target Heart rate? Simply because for you to know that you are exercising effectively.

 Your cardio exercises should be done for a minimum of 15 minutes with a target heart rate in what is known as the WEIGHT LOSS ZONE. The weight loss zone is considered 65-85% (but others say it is 70-80%) of your maximum heart rate.

Your maximum heart rate can be accurately measured by taking a treadmill stress test. However, unless you’re a professional athlete or you absolutely want to know your exact maximum heart rate, taking such a test isn’t necessary.

To get an approximate measurement, which is all you need for effective weight loss, take 220 minus your age. Here is how you calculate the target heart rate:

MHR     (Maximum Heart Rate)

                          220 - age = MHR

RHR     (Resting Heart Rate)

                          beats in 10 sec X 6 = RHR

HRR     (Heart Rate Reserve)

                          MHR - RHR = HRR

Minimum     target rate during Ex

                          (HRR X 0.65) + RHR = Minimum Target Rate

Maximum     target rate during Ex

                           (HRR X 0.85) + RHR = Maximum Target Rate

The reason your target heart rate is so important is that it reflects the rate at which your body is using OXYGEN, as well as the rate at which it is BURNING CALORIES (metabolism). The more oxygen you’re using, the more calories you are burning.

If you exercise in the weight loss zone, you’ll be using the required amount of oxygen that is necessary to burn excess calories.

Once     you reach your ideal weight, you can exercise in the MAINTENANCE ZONE. The MAINTENANCE ZONE is a target heart rate     of 60-70% of your maximum heart rate.

DO     NOT Exercise with a target heart rate lower than 60% of your maximum heart     rate because it will be a waste of your time. You will not see any     results exercising at that level. 

When you start exercising, you may not be able to exercise in the weight loss zone for a minimum of 20 minutes. It is very difficult for people who are out of shape. The good news is, if you stick with it and push yourself, it gets easier and easier every day.

The     key is to start out slow. Aim for 10 minutes in the weight loss zone     initially and then gradually work your way up to 20 minutes. 

 An     easy way to accomplish this is to add 1-2 minutes to your workout every     week. Before you know it you’ll be up to 20 minutes or more! 

 How to Determine if You Are Exercising in the Weight Loss Zone?

There are three primary methods to determine if you are exercising in the weight loss zone. They are, from best to worst: heart rate monitors, your breathing rate and checking your pulse.

Heart Rate Monitors

The most accurate and effective way to determine if your target heart rate is in the weight loss zone is to use a heart rate monitor.

·         A heart rate monitor consists of two pieces the monitor that straps around your chest and a wrist watch receiver. When you turn it on, the monitor detects your heart rate and sends the information to the receiver. The wrist watch displays your current heart rate. 

·         It’s interesting to watch how your heart rate responds to different exercises. A heart rate monitor is recommended as one of your first purchases towards achieving your weight loss goals. 

 Breathing Rate

Your breathing is a great indicator of how hard you are working. By determining how hard you are breathing, you can get a general idea of what level of intensity you are working.

 Most gym post exertion charts near their aerobic exercise equipment to give their members an idea of what level of intensity they are exercising. These charts vary from gym to gym but they give the same basic information. They attempt to give you an idea of what your breathing should feel like at various levels of intensity.

 Pay attention to these charts as they can be helpful guides.

 If you dont have these charts to refer to, here is a general guideline of what your breathing would feel like if your target heart rate is in the weight loss zone.

·         Your breathing would be DEEP and you would definitely be aware of it. You could carry on a conversation, but you would probably prefer not to. It is the feeling you’d have exercising VIGOROUSLY. 

·         If you were exercising in the HIGHER END of the weight loss zone (a target heart rate at 80% of your maximum heart rate), you would have a STRONG FEELING OF FATIGUE but you would feel you could still maintain that intensity for the rest of your exercise. Your breathing would be DEEP and you could still carry on a conversation but you wouldn’t feel like it. Exercising at this level is difficult for many people.

 Checking Your Pulse

The third and least recommended method in determining if your target heart rate is in the weight loss zone is by manually checking your pulse.

 You have to periodically pause during your exercise and check your pulse to calculate your heart rate.

 There are TWO RED FLAGS about this method that makes it hard to recommend.

 First, for aerobic exercise to be effective, it requires constant     and vigorous activity without interruption. This method requires you to     pause periodically, or at the very least significantly slow down your     exercise to take your pulse. 

Second, for many people it can be difficult to find your pulse     causing an even longer interruption in your exercise. It is for these     reasons that most gym today highly recommend the use of heart rate     monitors or exertion charts as a guide. 

 Final notes on your target heart rate

Each     persons weight loss zone is unique. For example, you may have to exercise     more or less than the next person to reach and maintain a target heart     rate of 65-85% of your maximum heart rate. 

 If     you exercise with a partner, be sure you exercise independently to     maintain your own weight loss zone. 

 You     can jog together, but you have to monitor your own target rate, you may     crank it up a few notches and do a harder jog to keep up to your target Or     you may continue to jog with the same pace, but once the other is done     with his own target and you haven't reach your own, continue to jog     at a harder pace for an additional 20-30 minutes so that you can get your     “full” exercise in.

 Finally

There     are times when you will want to change your intensity level. For example,     if you've been exercising at 70% of your maximum heart rate and you reach     a weight plateau, you may want to strive to exercise at 80% of your     maximum heart rate for a few days a week.

 You     may also want to interval train, which is when you exercise at different     levels during your exercise you exercise for a few minutes at 70% of your     maximum heart rate and then you ramp it up to 80% of your maximum heart     rate for a few minutes and then back to 70% and so on.

                 Always end with a cool down exercises and then follow with a long stretching exercise up to 30seconds hold, this is to help the muscle squeeze out some lactic acid that accumulated throughout the exercises.

[heypoliticsdad]

NYC General Election Endorsements November 2017

Oh yes, y’all, strap in. Another long one awaits. I am not weighing in on every race here; there’s too much for me to keep track of and there’s a lot I don’t know. Especially in city council races, it’s so local that it’s hard to keep track if you’re too far away. It’s also true that a lot of these races aren’t that contested (have you changed your party affiliation?), so there isn’t much to say. In races where there is a clear front runner, even if I kind of hate them, I’m not bothering to weigh in. 

I also am noticing two things about these endorsements: one, that there are two places where I recommend a male upstart over an existing female candidate; two, that I am clearly biased against incumbents. I’m not quite sure what to do with either of those things, but I wanted to name them as important. The city council stands to lose several women this time around, and while my feminism isn’t as simplistic as “women are automatically the best candidate,” I am still unsure what role misogyny is playing here, especially when incumbency means you have more to be hated for.

Want to know who’s on your ballot? Go here. Want to know where you vote? Go here. Polls are open 6am to 9pm so you really have no excuse.

Finally: when in doubt, write in Beyoncé. 

Mayor: Write in Beyoncé I can’t in good faith say vote for Bill de Blasio. He just hasn’t done enough good. The approval of the Bedford Armory redevelopment is just the latest fuckery in his “affordable housing” plan; he has the stank of corruption around him. He’s done some cool things but a lot of those cool things were already in process. Short of some kind of freak occurrence, he’s going to win (I’m not even going to bother looking up the correct spelling of his GOP opponent’s last name, it’s like that) and so you might as well write someone in. Beyoncé gets shit done. She would be ruthlessly effective and the longer she goes the more politicized she becomes. If we’re going to live in an oligarchy, I want my billionaire overlord to be the one that sunk a police car in a music video.

Public Advocate: Team Tish! I like what Tish James has done for us. I feel like I am waiting for the romance to be over and it’s possible I’ve missed some things. But she’s been a good public advocate, has stuck up for people, and I feel an overall sense of goodwill about her. The Public Advocate job is a weird one – tasked with advocating for the public – and I think necessarily this requires about some grandstanding as well as actually resolving complaints. It seems like she’s done good work so far, has the work to back up the grandstanding, and she’s definitely the best of the options.

Comptroller: Oh whatever, just go for Scott Stringer, or Beyoncé He’s better than the other guy, I think.

Manhattan DA: Write in Marc Fliedner. Remember the Brooklyn DA primary? With 500 people lining up around the block to be the most progressive? Marc Fliedner was one of those. He actually got ranked the best by the 5 Boro Defenders, a largely POC group of public defenders in the city. I ended up going for Anne Swern by a hair; Marc would have also been a good choice. Now he’s running in Manhattan as a write-in against Cy Vance, the sitting DA who is recently best known as declining to prosecute people who contributed to his campaign. (de Blasio, the Kushners, Harvey Weinstein). I feel great endorsing Marc as a write-in. Tell your friends!

District 1: Christopher Marte, I think I don’t know a lot about the long-term context of this race. I know that Margaret Chin is one of these funny third-term council members, a long-time incumbent. It’s hard to tell what her district thinks of her. I can’t find a good reason she gives for not doing participatory budgeting and it seems like there’s a lot of rage in the neighborhood around her work to preserve affordable housing, especially around the Two Bridges development. I’m a pragmatic guy at heart and her answers were, well, pragmatic; however, they’re a lot of that weird “people don’t really know what went into making these deals, we really tried” without actually telling people what went into making the deals and what she tried. Christopher Marte is from the neighborhood, evidently very involved, but in the way where it’s hard to know if what he does is as important as it looks on paper. He has the League of Independent Theaters’ endorsement, which also matters to me, although Chin’s overall list is much longer and includes Make the Road NYC and Planned Parenthood. She’s squarely in the middle of the City and State NY’s ranking of city council members. I read both of their responses to the Citizens Union survey about open government and found his more compelling. So vote Christopher Marte, I think, but I’m willing to be wrong about this one.

District 35: Jabari Brisport Laurie Cumbo sold out her district to the Bedford Armory. She has repeatedly bowed to developer pressure and the people just don’t like her. She attracted primary pressure, but the power of incumbency propelled her; luckily, people are still running. His Citizens Unite survey is full of the kind of truisms about government you get from the idealistic left, but what the eff, he’ll be a strong member of the progressive caucus. It’s a shame Ede Fox didn’t beat Cumbo in the primary, but I am happy to open the door to Brisport. I don’t think Cumbo is bad – she’s actually very highly ranked as a councilmember in responsiveness to her constituents, and she’s been the prime sponsor on a lot of bills about things that I think matter (% for arts reporting, public art, sex ed, multilingual information on housing.) Butttt…..I’m leaning Brisport. By a hair.

District 40: Brian Cunningham, Brian Cunningham, Brian Cunningham Mathieu Eugene has been a trash councilman. He has been the lead sponsor on only 7 bills in 10 years. He can’t even get a crosswalk made for a school. He might not even live in the district. Cunningham is young, he’s full of energy, he’s from the neighborhood, he’s worked with youth, and even if he ends out to be no good he’ll be no good in a new, better way. Cunningham is endorsed by the Working Families Party, the Stonewall Democrats, Planned Parenthood, TenantsPAC, and the Brooklyn Independent Democrats (we like them! They’re not the IDC!) 60% of the district voted for someone other than Eugene in the Democratic primary, but the vote split; Cunningham had the Reform endorsement which meant he could be on the general ballot on their line. He’s got good ideas about housing and more than that seems to actually care about what he does. You’re going to have to go to the Reform Party line to vote for him – he got the WFP endorsement too late to be on the ballot with them – so scoot that pencil to the right column and fill in that box. (Full disclosure: I’ve been volunteering with them.)

Prop 1: The Con Con:……no, but I hate myself a little and I might change my mind. Oh, the Con Con. I have been wrestling with this one and frankly it’s part of why this is coming out only one day before the election. There is so much good that could come from this, and so much bad that could come from it. The right says it’s a bad idea because the left would control the agenda; the left says it’s a bad idea because the right would control the agenda. Public unions are against it because of the risk to pensions. It’ll cost so much! (Will it cost so much?) It’s the only way to make change aside from our dysfunctional system! (Is it the only way to make change aside from our dysfunctional system?) The last one did nothing in the end! The one before that did so much! Most of our progressive laws come from constitutional conventions! The Koch brothers would take it over! NYCLU is against it; Citizens Union is for it. Unions are against it; progressive politicians are for it. The New York Times is against it; Newsday Long Island is for it. I have been watching debates and reading articles and it is one giant, messy ball.

The fact of the matter is this: no one knows what will happen because everything goes up for grabs. Everyone agrees on this. The pro side is arguing this presents an enormous opportunity for change: home rule for cities! Gender expression could be a protected class! Early voting! Legislative term limits! A unicameral legislature! The con side is basically making the same argument, only the bad side: loss of union pensions! Rolling back of the right to shelter! Gerrymandered senate districts leading to a conservative delegate base! The pro side says this is a chance for the government to truly be shaped by the people; the con side says the process will be hopelessly corrupt and just cost people money.

Voting yes hits all my love of sweeping action and big change. Past conventions are what have given us many of the things that already make New York relatively progressive: the “forever wild” land preserve, the right to welfare, expansion of voting rights. It’s a seductive argument. How often do we as progressives get a chance to build something from the ground up?

And yet. You might have noticed this isn’t a great time for progressives at the ballot box. One of the few things that I have not heard countered by the pro side is the fact that the statewide left is weak; Democrats aren’t even organized enough to get rid of the IDC, let alone a statewide progressive caucus. The unions are against it because they don’t feel they can guarantee a progressive outcome, and to me when someone publicly says they aren’t sure how powerful they are, you listen. That gerrymandering is real, and while a majority of the state senate districts went for Clinton over Trump, the state Senate is split more or less evenly. 

How all that translates to a vote really boils down to this: are you a pragmatist or are you an idealist? Are you a risktaker or do we play it safe? In my heart of hearts, I want to believe in the con con. I want to believe we can do something great. But…I just can’t get over the feeling in my gut that this is not the moment. Politics worldwide don’t look good for progressive, expansive views, and especially in the United States it’s a moment for the left to be very careful with the risks we take. So I say vote no, but grudgingly, and I reserve the right to change my mind at the last minute in the voting box and make an idealistic, possibly reckless vote.

Prop 2: Cut Pensions for Public Officials Convicted of Corruption Yes really. It’s a question. FOR GOODNESS SAKE’S VOTE YES. It doesn’t even automatically cut these pensions. It just makes it an option for judges when the circumstances warrant it. VOTE YES. I’m not even giving you a link; if you vote against this, just go home.

Prop 3: Land Bank for Modifications for Forever Wild This is one of those upstate questions that we down here don’t really think about. Basically, it comes down to this: right now, the “forever wild” lands upstate can’t be developed for any reason. This seems good until you realize, say, a bridge needs to be repaired, only it can’t be repaired without a constitutional amendment because the repair would need to use some small corner of the forever wild land. This proposition would create a bank wherein the state would buy 250 acres of new forever wild land and then make the same amount of land available for projects like bridges and internet cables. This makes sense and is endorsed by the Nature Conservancy as well as a broad coalition of preservation groups for both the Adirondacks and the Catskills, which is good enough for me. 

Ok, if you made it to the end, one more thing: this ad for Kalman Yeger in Boro Park. That race is its own hot ticket - Yoni Hikind, Dov Hikind’s son, against Kalman Yeger. The Forward goes into the underground heat, but I just want to give Kalman Yeger an award for the jingle of the election (and for all I know, this is a dis track, but I don’t know enough Yiddish to figure it out):

[alexanderking]

Another top 20 albums of 2019

This is another tough list for me as there were quite a few standout albums this year, as well as some I’ve still yet to check out. With that being said...

“Have I left anything out?” – Albums of 2018:

Chris Dave & The Drumheadz – Chris Dave and The Drumheadz: While I can’t say I was blown away by this project (hence it not making my honourable mentions list last year), there are some truly standout moments on here. Those being ‘Dat Feelin’’, ‘Spread Her Wings’, and the fantastic cover of ‘Lady Jane’...

Georgia Anne Muldrow – Overload: I paid very little attention to Georgia Anne Muldrow’s output after 2010, despite it being consistent. I checked this project out due to its grammy nomination and was impressed by the more complete and focused selection of tracks, while keeping those quirks that I loved about Muldrow when I got into her earlier work. This would have made the honourable mentions. I no doubt have a rabbit hole to venture down in the future...

Alex Isley – The Beauty in Everything Part 1: While ‘La Brea’ is one of my favourite Soul/R’n’B tracks of the decade, and I love the work she’s done with Brandon Williams, I haven’t loved a lot of her full projects. I really enjoyed the music on here however...

Ashley Henry – Easter EP: Henry’s growth as a composer continues to grow. While the more jazz-leaning pieces appeal to me the most, I love the tinges of hip-hop influence appearing through the stylised cover of ‘The World is Yours (I love Music)’ and the sampling on ‘St Anne’s (Remix)’...

Dame Drummer – Loveloution: I DESPERATELY wanted to have this on this year’s list, but alas, this was released in October of last year (according to Bandcamp). This project covers politically conscious aspects like racism, self-worth and police brutality, as well as loving ourselves and each other. What’s more, all of this flows really well with the tracks being in alphabetical order! This would’ve got an 8 or a 9...

Ray Angry – One: I loved the work Angry did with ‘The Roots’, particularly on ‘How I Got Over’. Sy Smith had shared ‘Bjork City’ on Twitter, which caused me to check this album out. ‘Really enjoyed the compositions on here. I think this would have got a 19...

Mac Ayres – Something to Feel: Despite constant plugs of this artist on my Twitter feed, I STILL ignored this album last year. I have no idea why I did this...This album has a slight throwback to the borderline slow jam/neo soul sounds of the late ‘90s and early ‘00s. The subject matter covers love and relationships on the whole but the real standout here is the composition. This would’ve got a 6...

...2019:

20) Flying Lotus – Flamagra:

This is probably Flying Lotus’s longest project to date, but it stays as musically consistent as its predecessors. Not only are there strong moments in tracks like ‘The Climb’, ‘Heroes’ and ‘More’, there are also a lot of callbacks to earlier pieces later on to tie this project together. This will be one I appreciate more and more on each listen...

19) Little Brother – May the Lord Watch:

Phonte and Rapper Big Pooh reunite after (at least) eight years apart, blazing their own respective trails may I add. Each emcee brings their frequent collaborators on board to deliver some head-nodding and some soulful beats, well-delivered flows and some great in-jokes for Little Brother fans. And apparently there’s EVEN MORE to come...

18) Solange – When I Get Home:

This album takes on a way more positive and celebratory theme than the highly acclaimed ‘A Seat at the Table’. While this can be seen as a sequel to the aforementioned, I personally consider this a side quest taking off from the “intermission” track ‘Borderline (An ode to self care)’; this is literally what I would think a whole album in the vein of that track would sound like. This project also reminded me of Thundercat’s ‘Drunk’ in how all these short pieces are put together to create a fully cohesive album. My stand outs are ‘Way to the Show’, ‘Dreams’, ‘Almeida’ and ‘Jerrod’...

17) Anderson .Paak – Ventura:

Not even six months after ‘Oxnard’, we get ‘Ventura’! This can be arguably seen as the more soulful side of a double album, the first side containing more rapping. Despite this being so low on this list, I enjoyed ‘Ventura’ way more than ‘Oxnard’; these are the kinds of melodies I vibe more with these days. ‘Reaching’ 2 Much’ to ‘Chosen One’ is the strongest part of the album for me...

16) Rapsody – Eve:

Rapsody becomes more and more focused with each project! Much like ‘When I Get Home’, ‘Eve’ takes on a celebratory theme, but this time using each track to highlight one of her personal heroes, all of whom are women. My favourites are ‘Oprah’, ‘Maya’, ‘Iman’ and ‘Afeni’.

15) SEED Ensemble – Driftglass:

The Jazz Re:Freshed label deliver yet ANOTHER quality project via the SEED Ensemble. The subject matter on here is pretty dark as it deals with race relations in the UK; a narrative which I feel was becoming increasingly dismissed with the “but at least you’re not Black American” argument when discussing racism in this country, passive-aggressive or otherwise. The piece ‘Interplanetary Migration’ closes the album with a more hopeful message through the bouncing thump of the drums and the blaring burst of horns. My favourites are the ‘Stargaze’ interludes, ‘The Dream Keeper’ and ‘Mirrors’, although the piece ‘W A K E (for Grenfell)’ must be noted...

14) Raphael Saadiq – Jimmy Lee:

I’ll be honest. I was not a fan of the ‘Modern Soul’ era of Raphael Saadiq. I cautiously gave this a listen, keeping in mind that his last album was in 2011. I was impressed, not just with the selection of musicians that brought their sound to the table, but with the narrative it follows. ‘Jimmy Lee’ is the story of Saadiq’s eldest (and favourite) brother and his battle and eventual defeat with drug addiction. That being said, ‘Jimmy Lee’ doesn’t entirely take a sombre note. There are moments of hope in tracks like ‘So Ready’, ‘I’m Feeling Love’ and to a far lesser extent, ‘My Walk’. Not only is this (for me) Saadiq’s best project since ‘As Ray-Ray’, but it’s his most personal album in his entire career so far...

13) KAYTRANADA – BUBBA:

I was genuinely surprised at how much I enjoyed ‘BUBBA’. This project takes on the similar bouncy, dance-tinged groove that KAYTRANADA is generally known for, but also includes some elements of Afrobeats to give it an edge. This album also gives ‘Teedra Moses’ another iconic track through her feature on ‘Culture’...

12) Resolution 88 – Revolutions:

Resolution 88 have fully come into their own on this project. While there are still clear influences of the Headhunters/Weather Report era, the music feels a lot less like a direct homage. Each track is inspired by a sequence or nuance when dealing with vinyl records. My favourites are the title track, ‘The Matrix’ and ‘Warped Memories’. It’s also worth noting the ‘Butcher Brown’ shaped rabbit hole I went down after hearing the Marcus Tenney feature on here (well...this and their feature on Mac Ayres’s ‘Juicebox’... 

11) Mac Ayres – Juicebox:

This is one of the many recommendations Dan has sent me over the past few years. There was something about the opening track ‘I Wanna Give Up’, nothing to love right off the bat but something. It was the following track ‘Shadows’ that made me want to hear the rest. ‘Juicebox’ has less of the throwback element of ‘Something to Feel’, which for me is most welcome. While this project stays on a high from ‘Where do we go from Here?’ to ‘Come Thru’, my favourites are ‘Jumping off the Moon’, ‘S**t Covered in Gold’, ‘Caught Up’ and the closing track ‘Something More’, which has an extended closing that I can't help but hum/sing along to...

10) Zo! – FourFront:

I’m not sure of my mood had anything to do with it, but ‘FourFront’ marked a return to form for me after ‘SkyBreak’ (I liked it, ‘didn’t love it). The Soul, Jazz, R’n’B and Disco influences are a-plenty, all which lend themselves to this album well. Devin Morrison and Madison McFerrin are welcome additions to the FE+ friends of family. And might I add, the interludes are as strong as some of the tracks here...

9) Dego – Too Much:

I’m thinking and hoping that the pattern for a specific Dego album release will be every four years as this has been the case with the last three (along with the myriad of releases under different pseudonyms and with different artists over the years...). ‘Too Much’ delivers some good old broken vibes while leaning more on the vocals for the first two thirds of the album. There’s a nice revisit in ‘You Are Virgo’, referring to the 2011 track ‘We Are Virgo’. It’s only the last few tracks that wane for me a little bit, but not enough to put this any lower on the list...

8) Shafiq Husayn – The Loop:

After about a nine year wait, Shafiq Husayn releases his sophomore solo project !! I would say this album feels a tiny bit less cohesive than ‘Shafiq En’ A-Free-Ka’, but the tracks are individually stronger. My favourites are ‘May I Assume’, ‘On Our Way Home’, ‘Cycles’ and ‘Hours Away’...

7) Ashley Henry – Beautiful Vinyl Hunter:

I. Am. KICKING. MYSELF. For missing the Ashley Henry show at Jazz Re:Freshed on December 19th!!!! I love this album! There’s some great contemporary jazz as well as hip-hop and orchestral influences to make ‘Beautiful Vinyl Hunter’ really shine! My standouts are ‘Realisations’, ‘I Still Believe’, ‘Sunrise’, Lullaby (Rise and Shine) and ‘Battle’...

6) Kendrick Scott Oracle – A Wall Becomes A Bridge:

This album was the result of a bout of writers block, which musical director Derrick Hodge helped Kendrick Scott work through. The result is effectively an off branch of the Robert Glasper Experiment, through its use of echoed recordings and DJ scratches to deliver themes or words of wisdom. Much like 2013′s ‘Conviction’, ‘A Wall Becomes A Bridge’ plays seamlessly, so seamlessly that I either forget to skip to my favourites, or I let the filler play as it introduces my favourites so well...

5) Devin Morrison – Bussin’:

A tweet from ‘KING’ (or ‘We Are KING’) put me on this album. For anyone wanting to fill that classic R’n’B void, Devin Morrison is another artist keeping that era alive. Even the funk inspired jams that I wasn’t too hot on have become growers. My favourites are ‘Guaranteed’, ‘The Call (407)’ and the slightly smug ‘No’...

4) Lucky Daye – Painted:

My sister put me on Lucky Daye. And how glad I am she did!! ‘Another crooner filling the R’n’B void (and helping us forget how hard Daniel Caesar ****ed himself in Feb...). While Lucky Daye has been behind the scenes as a songwriter for a while, it’s great to see him step to the forefront with his own blend of vulnerable lyrics, as well as the occasional blunt rap verse, delivered with an impressive flow might I add! ‘Extra’ is one of my favourite R’n’B tracks this past decade...

3) Daniel Casimir & Tess Hirst – These Days:

The sounds of Daniel Casimir kept me company during my walk on the Capital Ring trail back in 2017. Hearing ‘What Did I Do’ had me itching to hear the rest of this album. And I wasn’t disappointed! ‘These Days’ also has Soul, Jazz and some big band influences throughout. Tess Hirst impressively delivers vocals touching on race relations in the UK and the effects of gentrification in the capital...  

2) Esperanza Spalding – 12 Little Spells:

The first 12 tracks were actually released in 2018, but the full release came in March of 2019, hence why this is on the list. I see ‘12 Little Spells’ as an amalgamation of Spalding’s musical journey so far. Tracks like ‘All Limbs Are’ and ‘Readying to Rise’ calling back to ‘Chamber Music Society’, tracks like ‘Touch in Mine’ and ‘The Longing Deep Down’ calling back to ‘Radio Music Society’ and tracks like ‘To Tide Us Over’ and ‘With Others’ calling back to the more recent sounds of ‘Emily’s D+Evolution’ and ‘Exposure’. This continues in the experimental vein as each track is part of a long sentence and touches on the nuances and subtleties of various parts of the body. This was nearly my album of the year but...

1)

Brandon Williams – The Love Factor: Despite ‘matters of the heart’ being a sore spot for me at the moment, I couldn’t deny how much I enjoyed the offerings on ‘The Love Factor’, one of those being a cover of one of my favourite George Duke pieces, which opens and closes the album. As the title suggests, each track covers a facet of love, including our resilience toward desiring love, trust issues, vulnerability and the dream-like state love can create. While there are many vocal and musical features on here, Alex Isley takes the MVP spot for her work on the album’s centrepiece ‘Say That You Love Me’...

Honourable mentions:

There are many honourable mentions, but I only have space for 10...

Tyler, the Creator – IGOR: I was as taken aback as a lot of people on initial listen. I also can’t pretend that the narrative concept doesn’t still go over my head. But I can’t deny Tyler’s progress in his music writing and composition, nor his skill utilised on the various verses throughout the second half of ‘IGOR’

Steve Lacy – Apollo XXI: ‘An enjoyable debut from who has become one of the most prominent members of ‘The Internet’. As well as the sounds we’ve come to expect from the band, Lacy gets a chance to delve into more of the rock influences on tracks like ‘Lay Me Down’ and ‘In Lust We Trust’. There’s also a potential anthem in the coming out suite ‘Like Me’ and a beautiful moment in ‘Amandla’s Interlude’...

Matt Martians – The Last Party: ‘Martin’s second solo project (’something closer to his 12th project overall). ‘The Last Party’ has a theme of being accepted as we are this time around, but keeps the format of having hidden tracks in each song. My favourites are ‘Off My Feet/Westside Rider Anthem’ and ‘Look Like’... 

C R O W N – Unlearning: After a number of EPs, C R O W N graces us with her debut LP. ‘Unlearning' utilises Jazz-tinged soul instrumentals to ultimately deal with addressing our needs and letting go to help ourselves grow. My favourites are ‘15 Summers’, ‘S**t To Do’ and the acoustic track ‘Lines’...

  Moonchild – Little Ghost: This was a strange one for me. All the elements that I love about this group is present. But I wasn’t feeling this as much as ‘Voyager’ (2017′s #1). I’m not sure what’s missing for me here...there are still glowing gems in ‘Wise Women’, ‘Got To Know It’, ‘Whistling’ and ‘Still Wonder’...

Bree Runway – Be Runway EP: It’s criminal that Bree Runway hasn’t quite gained the recognition she deserves just yet. Bree is easily one of the most interesting vocal artists the UK has to offer right now. I found myself head nodding uncontrollably to ‘2ON’ and ‘X2C’! I’m looking forward to even more in the future...

Quelle Chris – Guns: Quelle Chris returns so soon after ‘Everything’s Fine’ to touch on race relations in the US through the love of guns, at times to people’s detriment. The head-nod factor of the slightly odd-ball instrumentals, along with the various reflective and celebratory moments in the second half had me return to this album a lot... 

YBN Cordae – The Lost Boy: This was another recommendation from Dan and yet another welcome surprise! It’s emcees like this, who integrate the trap rhyme style with storytelling and punchlines that will progress the genre even more. Standouts are ‘Have Mercy’, ‘Thousand Words’ and ‘Been Around’...

Alex Isley & Jack Dine – Wilton EP: I found out about this EP through someone who liked my tweet listing my top 10 R’n’B songs of this decade. I recognised Jack Dine from his collaborations with Mac Ayres. His production allows Isley to delve even further into soulful slow jam territory. Check out ‘Wait’ and ‘There was Love’

Joe Armon-Jones – Turn to Clear View: I loved ‘Almost Went Too Far’ from 2018′s ‘Starting Today’. This caused me to investigate this 2019 project. ‘Turn to Clear View’ takes a departure from the Dub influences of his previous offering to venture into electronic jazz and west African music to an extent. My favourites are ‘Yellow Dandelion’, ‘(To) Know Where You’re Coming From’ and ‘Self: Love’...

[nancydsmithus]

The (Upcoming) WordPress Renaissance

The (Upcoming) WordPress Renaissance

Leonardo Losoviz

2019-08-15T13:00:59+02:002019-08-15T11:20:22+00:00

It has been 8 months since Gutenberg was launched as the default content editor in WordPress. Depending who you ask, you may hear that Gutenberg is the worst or the best thing that has happened to WordPress (or anything in between). But something that most people seem to agree with, is that Gutenberg has been steadily improving. At the current pace of development, it’s only a matter of time until its most outstanding issues have been dealt with and the user experience becomes truly pleasant.

Gutenberg is an ongoing work in progress. While using it, I experience maddening nuisances, such as floating options that I can’t click on because the block placed below gets selected instead, unintuitive grouping of blocks, columns with so much gap that make them useless, and the “+” element calling for my attention all over the page. However, the problems I encounter are still relatively manageable (which is an improvement from the previous versions) and, moreover, Gutenberg has started making its potential benefits become a reality: Many of its most pressing bugs have been ironed out, its accessibility issues are being solved, and new and exciting features are continuously being made available. What we have so far is pretty decent, and it will only get better and better.

Let’s review the new developments which have taken place since Gutenberg’s launch, and where it is heading to.

Note: For more information about this topic, I recommend watching WordPress founder Matt Mullenweg’s talk during the recent WordCamp Europe 2019.

Why Gutenberg Was Needed

Gutenberg arrived just in time to kick-start the rejuvenation of WordPress, to attempt to make WordPress appealing to developers once again (and reverse its current status of being the most dreaded platform). WordPress had stopped looking attractive because of its focus on not breaking backwards compatibility, which prevented WordPress from incorporating modern code, making it look pale in comparison with newer, shinier frameworks.

Many people argue that WordPress was in no peril of dying (after all, it powers more than 1/3rd of the web), so that Gutenberg was not really needed, and they may be right. However, even if WordPress was in no immediate danger, by being disconnected from modern development trends it was headed towards obsolescence, possibly not in the short-term but certainly in the mid to long-term. Let’s review how Gutenberg improves the experience for different WordPress stakeholders: developers, website admins, and website users.

Developers have recently embraced building websites through JavaScript libraries Vue and React because (among other reasons) of the power and convenience of components, which translates into a satisfying developer-experience. By jumping into the bandwagon and adopting this technique, Gutenberg enables WordPress to attract developers once again, allowing them to code in a manner they find gratifying.

Website admins can manage their content more easily, improve their productivity, and achieve things that couldn’t be done before. For instance, placing a Youtube video through a block is easier than through the TinyMCE Textarea, blocks can serve optimal images (compressed, resized according to the device, converted to a different format, and so on) removing the need to do it manually, and the WYSIWYG (What You See Is What You Get) capabilities are decent enough to provide a real-time preview of how the content will look like in the website.

By giving them access to powerful functionality, website users will have a higher satisfaction when browsing our sites, as experienced when using highly-dynamic, user-friendly web applications such as Facebook or Twitter.

In addition, Gutenberg is slowly but surely modernizing the whole process of creating the website. While currently it can be used only as the content editor, some time in the future it will become a full-fledged site builder, allowing to place components (called blocks) anywhere on a page, including the header, footer, sidebar, etc. (Automattic, the company behind WordPress.com, has already started work on a plugin adding full site editing capabilities for its commercial site, from which it could be adapted for the open-source WordPress software.) Through the site-building feature, non-techy users will be able to add very powerful functionality to their sites very easily, so WordPress will keep welcoming the greater community of people working on the web (and not just developers).

Fast Pace Of Development

One of the reasons why Gutenberg has seen such a fast pace of development is because it is hosted on GitHub, which simplifies the management of code, issues and communication as compared to Trac (which handles WordPress core), and which makes it easy for first-time contributors to become involved since they may already have experience working with Git.

Being decoupled from WordPress core, Gutenberg can benefit from rapid iteration. Even though a new version of WordPress is released every 3 months or so, Gutenberg is also available as a standalone plugin, which sees a new release every two weeks (while the latest release of WordPress contains Gutenberg version 5.5, the latest plugin version is 6.2). Having access to powerful new functionality for our sites every two weeks is very impressive indeed, and it enables to unlock further functionality from the broader ecosystem (for instance, the AMP plugin requires Gutenberg 5.8+ for several features).

Headless WordPress To Power Multiple Stacks

One of the side effects of Gutenberg is that WordPress has increasingly become “headless”, further decoupling the rendering of the application from the management of the content. This is because Gutenberg is a front-end client that interacts with the WordPress back-end through APIs (the WP REST API), and the development of Gutenberg has demanded a consistent expansion of the available APIs. These APIs are not restricted to Gutenberg; they can be used together with any client-side framework, to render the site using any stack.

An example of a stack we can leverage for our WordPress application is the JAMstack, which champions an architecture based on static sites augmented through 3rd party services (APIs) to become dynamic (indeed, Smashing Magazine is a JAMstack site!). This way, we can host our content in WordPress (leveraging it as a Content Management System, which is what it is truly good at), build an application that accesses the content through APIs, generate a static site, and deploy it on a Content Delivery Network, providing for lower costs and greater access speed.

New Functionality

Let’s play with Gutenberg (the plugin, not the one included in WordPress core, which is available here) and see what functionality has been added in the last few months.

Block Manager

Through the block manager, we can decide what blocks will be available on the content editor; all others will be disabled. Removing access to unwanted blocks can be useful in several situations, such as:

Many plugins are bundles of blocks; when installing such a plugin, all their blocks will be added to the content editor, even if we need only one

As many as 40 embed providers are implemented in WordPress core, yet we may need just a few of them for the application, such as Vimeo and Youtube

Having a large amount of blocks available can overwhelm us, impairing our workflow by adding extra layers that the user needs to navigate, leading to suboptimal use of the time; hence, temporarily disabling unneeded blocks can help us be more effective

Similarly, having only the blocks we need avoids potential errors caused by using the wrong blocks; in particular, establishing which blocks are needed can be done in a top-down manner, with the website admin analyzing all available blocks and deciding which ones to use, and imposing the decision on the content managers, who are then relieved from this task and can concentrate on their own duties.

Enabling/disabling blocks through the manager (Large preview)

Cover Block With Nesting Elements

The cover block (which allows us to add a title over a background image, generally useful for creating hero headers) now defines its inner elements (i.e. the heading and buttons, which can be added for creating a call to action) as nested elements, allowing us to modify its properties in a uniform way across blocks (for instance, we can make the heading bold and add a link to it, place one or more buttons and change their background color, and others).

The cover block accepts nested elements (Large preview)

Block Grouping And Nesting

Please beware: These features are still buggy! However, plenty of time and energy is being devoted to them, so we can expect them to work smoothly soon.

Block grouping allows to group several blocks together, so when moving them up or down on the page, all of them move together. Block nesting means placing a block inside of a block, and there is no limit to the nesting depth, so we can have blocks inside of blocks inside of blocks inside of… (you’ve got me by now). Block nesting is especially useful for adding columns on the layout, through a column block, and then each column can contain inside any kind of block, such as images, text, videos, etc.

Blocks can be grouped together, and nested inside each other (Large preview)

Migration Of Pre-Existing Widgets

Whereas in the past there were several methods for adding content on the page (TinyMCE content, shortcodes, widgets, menus, etc.), the blocks attempt to unify all of them into a single method. Currently, newly-considered legacy code, such as widgets, is being migrated to the block format.

Recently, the “Latest Posts” widget has been re-implemented as a block, supporting real-time preview of how the layout looks when configuring it (changing the number of words to display, showing an excerpt or the full post, displaying the date or not, etc).

The “Latest posts” widget includes several options to customize its appearance (Large preview)

Motion Animation

Moving blocks up or down the page used to involve an abrupt transition, sometimes making it difficult to understand how blocks were re-ordered. Since Gutenberg 6.1, a new feature of motion animation solves this problem by adding a realistic movement to block changes, such as when creating, removing or reordering a block, giving a greatly improved visual cue of the actions taken to re-order blocks. In addition, the overall concept of motion animation can be applied throughout Gutenberg to express change and thus improve the user experience and provide better accessibility support.

Blocks have a smooth effect when being re-ordered. (Large preview)

Functionality (Hopefully) Coming Soon

According to WordPress founder Matt Mullenweg, only 10% of Gutenberg’s complete roadmap has been implemented by now, so there is plenty of exciting new stuff in store for us. Work on the new features listed below has either already started, or the team is currently experimenting with them.

Block directory A new top-level item in wp-admin which will provide block discovery. This way, blocks can be independently installed, without having to ship them through a plugin.

Navigation blocks Currently, navigation menus must be created through their own interface. However, soon we will be able to create these through blocks and place them anywhere on the page.

Inline installation of blocks Being able to discover blocks, the next logical step is to be able to install a new block on-the-fly, where is needed the most: On the post editor. We will be able to install a block while writing a post, use the new block to generate its HTML, save its output on the post, and remove the block, all without ever browsing to a different admin page.

Snap to grid when resizing images When we place several images on our post, resizing them to the same width or height can prove to be a painful process of trying and failing repeatedly until getting it right, which is far from ideal. Soon, it will be possible to snap the image to a virtual grid layer which appears on the background as the image is being resized.

WordPress Is Becoming Attractive (Once Again)

Several reasons support the idea that WordPress will soon become an attractive platform to code for, as it used to be once upon a time. Let’s see a couple of them.

PHP Modernization

WordPress’s quest to modernize does not end with incorporating modern JavaScript libraries and tooling (React, webpack, Babel): It also extends to the server-side language: PHP. WordPress’s minimum version of PHP was recently bumped up to 5.6, and should be bumped to version 7.0 as early as December 2019. PHP 7 offers remarkable advantages over PHP 5, most notably it more than doubles its speed, and later versions of PHP (7.1, 7.2 and 7.3) have each become even faster.

Even though there seems to be no official plans to further upgrade from PHP 7.0 to its later versions, once the momentum is there it is easier to keep it going. And PHP is itself being improved relentlessly too. The upcoming PHP 7.4, to be released in November 2019, will include plenty of new improvements, including arrow functions and the spread operator inside of arrays (as used for modern JavaScript), and a mechanism to preload libraries and frameworks into the OPCache to further boost performance, among several other exciting features.

Reusability Of Code Across Platforms

A great side effect of Gutenberg being decoupled from WordPress is that it can be integrated with other frameworks too. And that is exactly what has happened! Gutenberg is now available for Drupal, and Laraberg (for Laravel) will soon be officially released (currently testing the release candidate). The beauty of this phenomenon is that, through Gutenberg, all these different frameworks can now share/reuse code!

Conclusion

There has never been a better time to be a web developer. The pace of development for all concerned languages and technologies (JavaScript, CSS, image optimization, variable fonts, cloud services, etc) is staggering. Until recently, WordPress was looking at this development trend from the outside, and developers may have felt that they were missing the modernization train. But now, through Gutenberg, WordPress is riding the train too, and keeping up with its history of steering the web in a positive direction.

Gutenberg may not be fully functional yet, since it has plenty of issues to resolve, and it may still be some time until it truly delivers on its promises. However, so far it is looking good, and it looks better and better with each new release: Gutenberg is steadily bringing new possibilities to WordPress. As such, this is a great time to reconsider giving Gutenberg a try (that is, if you haven’t done so yet). Anyone somehow dealing with WordPress (website admins, developers, content managers, website users) can benefit from this new normal. I’d say this is something to be excited about, wouldn’t you?

(dm, il)

[o-behave]

PUTTING A SPRING IN YOUR STEP

8 mental shortcuts for physical training (and other life endeavours)

By Pete Dyson, Senior Consultant at Ogilvy Consulting’s Behavioural Science Practice

“no pain, no gain”  “champions train, losers complain” “be badass”

These are the kind of toxic mantras that people think are needed to motivate people to walk, jog, gym, cycle, swim, box, yoga and much more in between. It sounds convincing, but there’s a problem. All this bold talk only pulls on one lever…..motivation.

There’s a big wide world beyond motivation; context, timing, opportunity, ease, understanding, social structures and many more factors that affect behaviour. What follows are lessons unearthed by me; a full-time behavioural science strategist and a part-time triathlete competing at National and European races. So, some tips are peer-reviewed and others are just plain ‘Pete-reviewed’.

Here we talk here about physical training goals, but many could be applied to learning a language, instrument, skill or even relationships (maybe).

1.      Patience: consistency and timing is everything

Think of consistency like baking a cake. Even the best ingredients won’t bake in 5 minutes, there are no shortcuts here, it’s just physics. You have to take the long view and trust that over 30mins (aka 6 weeks for human fitness) the physiological effects will take place. Spontaneity is not a virtue, if you keep putting your mix in the oven for 5 minutes and out for 5 minutes, you’ll never end up with a cake, you’ll just have a luke warm stodgy blob. Training is just the same, it massively rewards a consistently good temperature.

2.      Positivity: thinking faster

New research is shedding light on a long-held suspicion that the mind limits the body. Professor Samuele Marcora of the University of Kent studies this 'psychobiological model' by testing how changing people’s thoughts can change the power in their legs.

A series of studies have proven: self-talk (effectively cheering yourself on) increases cycling speed; being shown fake numbers suggesting you’re doing well makes you do even better; being shown smiley positive images increases the time to exhaustion; being told you are beating virtual competitor (you don’t even know) increases your maximum power output.

I highly recommend a book called Endure by Alex Hutchinson that summarises all this work and much more.

3.      Peak End: avoid burn out

Many people in the gym and jogging in the park are absolutely killing it. It’s very impressive but quite confusing because people remember things based on the peak of the experience (the best/worst point) and how it ends.

The training-oven (yes, let’s continue that metaphor) works brilliantly at 160 degrees but it’s very costly to go to above 200 degrees.

Digging deep and bringing on the pain-face will be etched into your memory, which is fine if you can get up and do it tomorrow, but not if it puts you off doing it. In this case pain does not equal gain. Personally, I re-frame faster running sessions as ‘push as hard as I can such that I still want to run tomorrow’. Following the nice ending rule, a sociable warm down of high fives, some banter and sugary drinks is the sweetest ending you brain can get.

4.      Defaults: Getting out the door

Any session is 100% better than no session. Try to ‘hack’ your way out of the door, because once a session begins then you’re basically there. Here are some ways to reduce hurdles. Here’s an ABC….

A pre-packed bag: get everything in a rucksack the night before, leave it by the bed

Breakfast in bed: have some cereal next to the alarm clock, ideally a coffee-drink too.

Count yourself out of other options: Sometimes I’ll purposefully leave my bike at work so I have to run in.

This particular advice is Olympian-approved, in so far as I tweeted it in response to a Twitter competition evaluated by Alistair Brownlee. He trains 3 sports 35 hours a week. He’s a good judge.

5.      Future Self: Don’t let second thoughts come first

Even when highly motivated, I can still feel there’s a little voice (usually just before putting my kit on) that says ‘do we have to do this?’ or ‘maybe tomorrow would be better’. In this case, I don’t live in the present. I think of it like this ‘I thought it was a good idea yesterday, nothing’s changed since then, so stick with the plan”

Also, I’ve noticed no correlation between how I think I’m feeling and how I actually perform. Whether it’s tired legs, exhausted mind, slightly sniffly; all this goes out the window once the warm-up is done. Don’t judge by your present by your mood alone.

6.      Targets: give me a reason!

Some people are more motivated intrinsically; the pursuit of self-improvement and contentedness. Others are more extrinsically; achieving a certain standard and getting validation from other people. In either case, nothing beats having a race, an event or a specific target. It works amazingly to focus the mind and you can construct whatever purpose you want around it. Live that imagined reality!

Note: ideally, it’s not a terrifying target, because so called ‘panic-training’ almost invariably leads to injury of the body or mind.

7.      Commitments: be social

Relying on just your personal willpower is a fool's game. There are loads more sources of commitment and dedication.

A cheap one involves making your goals public; speaking, tweeting and sharing targets is ideal. Signing up with someone else is basically the crack cocaine of training motivation; it bonds and blinds you both to even needing to search for the willpower.

A friend of mine pursues a more expensive commitment strategy by signing up to the most luxurious gym because the sunk cost of a big monthly bill makes the gym more appealing. The utilitarian in me wish that he could make that £100 donation to charity instead, which might actually be more motivating as research has shown people running for charities, loved ones and good causes are more motivated.  

8.      Temptation Bundling: treat yourself

I believe it was Dr. Katherine Milkman that coined the term ‘temptation bundling’ to describe the act of pairing treat activities like trashy TV, podcasts and gossip with tough activities like the treadmill or house-work. Her research demonstrated that if people were given an addictive audiobook (like Serial) that only worked at the gym, then their pleasure and consistency rose considerably.

Caution: watch out for temptation-bundling’s evil younger brother called ‘moral-licensing’, where doing one small good thing acts as a constant excuse for indulging afterwards. Many Sunday afternoons and evenings have been lost to this vice.

There are many more than 8 mental shortcuts. The best ones are those you find yourself, which for many people is a hidden benefit of physical excursion – it helps you find out more about yourself.

References / Further Reading:

Brown, R. (2004). Consideration of the origin of Herbert Simon's theory of “satisficing”(1933-1947). Management Decision, 42(10), 1240-1256.

Hutchinson, A. (2018). Endure: Mind, body, and the curiously elastic limits of human performance. HarperCollins.

Marcora, S. M., & Staiano, W. (2010). The limit to exercise tolerance in humans: mind over muscle?. European journal of applied physiology, 109(4), 763-770.

Rogers, T., Milkman, K. L., & Volpp, K. G. (2014). Commitment devices: using initiatives to change behavior. JaMa, 311(20), 2065-2066.

http://thebrainflux.com/temptation-bundling

Seiler, S. Seiler’s Hierarchy* of Endurance Training Needs. https://twitter.com/stephenseiler/status/793391463694491649

Sibley, B. A., & Bergman, S. M. (2018). What keeps athletes in the gym? Goals, psychological needs, and motivation of CrossFit™ participants. International Journal of Sport and Exercise Psychology, 16(5), 555-574.

Schwartz, B., Ward, A., Monterosso, J., Lyubomirsky, S., White, K., & Lehman, D. R. (2002). Maximizing versus satisficing: Happiness is a matter of choice. Journal of personality and social psychology, 83(5), 1178.

Zhang, Y., Fishbach, A., & Kruglanski, A. W. (2007). The dilution model: How additional goals undermine the perceived instrumentality of a shared path. Journal of personality and social psychology, 92(3), 389.

[kylorengarbagedump]

Little Bird: Chapter 4

Read on AO3. Part 3 here. Part 5 here.

Summary: Do you know when you get a bad feeling about something? Like, as if everyone is trying to tell you *not* to do something? Ah, whatever.

Words: 2300

Warnings: Handmaid AU, dystopia

Characters: Kylo Ren x Handmaid!Reader

A/N: Hello! As always, this is chapter 4 of my Handmaid's Tale AU! If you still have no idea what I'm talking about, I highly recommend just reading the Sparknotes synopsis or the Wikipedia page for the book. It might make things more clear.

Sorry that I'm so terrible with updating. I want to get back to one chap/week, as I had done previously. Hopefully I'll get there!

Your feedback is so special and important to me! Thank you so much! I love y'all!!

Of course, you’d been expecting some discomfort. It was only natural that after going such an extended period of time with no sex, no nothing, that you’d feel a bit sore the day after.

But you hadn’t been expecting a near-crippling ache, emanating from your core down your thighs, as if your Commander’s cock had injected paralyzing venom into your bloodstream when he’d came. Every step was a reminder of the night before, and every step made your brow furrow, your teeth worry your lip. As if you needed more factors complicating your situation, desire simmered, unwavering in the face of wisdom and reason and fear; in the wake of your confusion, your lust persisted like an eager whisper.

He’d been huge. And he’d felt incredible.

You hobbled to the kitchen, ignoring the clamoring inside of your body that, unshackled from reality, demanded you lie in his bed again, demanded you take his cock again and again and again, demanded that he pound into you and groan and spill himself, until you were full, dripping with his cum. Stupid brain. Stupid vagina.

“Market day today,” you said, startling the other Martha--what had her name been again? Rose. She met your gaze with tiny, dark eyes, hidden deep in her pinched face. You couldn’t tell if she was terrified or furious. “Sorry.”

Rose huffed. “I’ll need milk, bread, and sugar. Do you think you can handle that, today?”

“Um, yes,” you replied. “I don’t think it’ll be too complex.”

“Then get going.”

You blinked and nodded, turning down toward the front door. “Okay…” Wouldn’t hurt you to be a bit nicer.

“You’re not doing a good job of hiding your limp, by the way,” she called after you. Your face burned, and you grumbled, pushing forward.

Through the wooden halls of the home, you steadied your waddle, hoping to appear more thoughtful and pensive than anxious and pained. You managed to make it out of the house and down the driveway without further incident, your head swiveling for any sign of the Commander as you passed his car. Your scan was borne both of fear and anticipation. To meet his eyes again would make you a mosquito to a flame. Not just a flame. A massive column of fire.

But he was nowhere in sight, to your possible relief and almost definite benefit. Perhaps you’d get through this day without making a complete fool-

“Little bird.” His voice cut you like a scythe, slicing the tendons in your knees. You were thankful that your dress managed to obscure your wobble.

Stiff-necked, you turned toward his voice, keeping your eyes locked to the grass at your feet. “C-Commander.”

“A proper greeting.” He stepped forward, and you hands fumbled at your sides, looking for an occupation other than sweating profusely. “Your gait seems odd. Why might that be?”

You were disintegrating in the wake of his audacity. Clearing your throat, you peeked to your right and left, convinced that any second, Johana would find you under her husband’s spell. “Not sure, sir,” you managed to choke out. “I believe I just slept, um, weird.”

He sniffed in amusement, growing closer. You cursed your stupid mosquito brain. “That’s unfortunate,” he said, and paused. “I can rectify that.”

“I’m sorry?”

“Poor sleep.” Ren’s voice dipped lower. “There’s an effective cure, you know.”

You wondered if there was a difference between the color of your dress and your face. “Um…” Was he testing you? You wanted to rebuke him, but the throbbing between your legs was tugging you a different direction. “What cure might that be, sir?”

He snickered--a dark, delicous sound. “Oh, little bird.” His fingers caught your chin, angling you in the line of his gaze. “You’re naughtier than I thought.”

Breath leaked like slow fog from between your lips, your muscles snapping with the desire to grab him by the shoulders and drag him into a hot, rough kiss. You hated this. Hated that he held your life in his enormous, strong hands, hated that he toyed with it in public like a careless child, hated that your job was to bear his child, hated that above all, you wanted him, and despite every hour of internal chastisement, you could not silence the beast in your blood, could not muzzle the monster that sought to destroy you and him in a violent collision of repressed lust.

You should not, could not want. And yet--

“Am I, Commander?” The words hung like hidden honey from your lips.

Ren growled, jerking you against his body, his massive frame bending so his breath brushed your ear. “Yes,” he purred. “You are.”

You drank in every second of pleasure like the brainless insect you were. “Oh…”

“I can’t stop thinking about fucking your tight little pussy.” He sucked in breath through his teeth, pressing into you, his other hand snaking around your waist. “I need to be inside of you.”

Heat liquified your insides, and you nearly wilted, kept standing by sheer willpower. “Shit…”

“Oh,” he said, “she can curse…”

Underneath your dress, your body had become sweat incarnate, your skin having replaced itself with layers of eager perspiration. You imagined stripping there, in the driveway, imagined his hands on your breasts, his mouth on your cunt, your lips on his cock--everything forbidden flooding your mind like a river from a burst dam. But the water boiled, burned and ate you away, turned you to a writhing mass of instinct and need.

“Commander, not here,” you whimpered, as if here was different from there, as if there existed a place where his words weren’t illegal, where your body was something greater than its parts. “If you… If I…”

“Little bird…” Those soft, pink lips ghosted your ear, and you shivered, clenching. “Let me fill you with my cum, tonight…” His tongue, wet and warm, grazed your skin.

“Oh, fuck…”

A squeak of a hinge, and Ren released you, drawing back his claws and spinning on his heel to his car. Your heart flipped, your eyes scanning the front of the house in terror--but it was empty. Relief left you in a long exhale while you sought his gaze, searching for, for some reason, some camaraderie. Instead, he raised an eyebrow, adjusting his tie as he strode to the driver’s door.

“I’m late,” he said, as if he hadn’t just spent the past however-many minutes making you wet. “Be good.”

You swallowed, statue-still while he got into his car, cranked the engine, and backed out, peeling off onto the road without a spared moment of further acknowledgement. You weren’t sure how long you stood there, trapped by the tattered ribbons of his seduction, waiting for it to leave you like poison. How stupid were you, exactly? If you’d been caught--by Emma, by Rose, by Johana, hell, by anyone, your life was forfeit. Was it worth it? Were the whims of your cunt worth your life? You wanted to slap yourself. You wanted him to slap you, even--but that made you clench, too. Dammit!

“Uhm--”

You yelped, whirling on this new voice, clamping your hands over your mouth when you saw it was only your walking partner. That’s not suspicious.  Her skin was dark, her lips full, her locks growing in tight waves at her hairline before being swallowed by white fabric. And she was looking at you with a strange mixture of confusion and fear.

“Blessed be the fruit,” you offered, smoothing the front of your skirts.

“May the Lord open,” she replied. “You--you’re Ofkylo, right?”

Nodding, you shuffled forward. “Yes,” you said. “I am.”

“Ofarmitage.” The look on her face hadn’t changed.

Chewing your cheek, you glanced at the ground, following her lead as you began to move toward the markets. You hoped it wouldn’t be too long. You were wincing from the walk already. “So,” you said. “How long… had you been standing there?”

“You should really stay away from him.” Her voice was low and severe.

You gagged on your own spit. “W-what?”

“Your Commander,” she said. “Stay away.”

“Uh…”

“Look,” she said, barely a whisper. “I get it.” You weren’t sure what that meant. She got it? She got what? “Do what you want. But if you aren’t more careful, you will end up like the others.”

Blood fled your face. A robin leapt into the sky in front of you. “The others…”

“You know you’re not the first Ofkylo, right?”

You shook your head, trying to regain your bearings. Conversation like this was almost as illegal as what you’d been doing with the Commander. Well. Was there almost when it came to illegality? “Yes,” you replied. “Yes, I’m aware.”

“Okay,” she said. “Then you can probably figure out what happened to the other ones.” You couldn’t see beyond the shield of your wings, but you heard her voice grow closer, like she’d turned her head. “He’s reckless.”

“Reckless,” you repeated, like it would help burn it into your skull.

“Reckless.” She was distant again. “He doesn’t care about you, or his wife, or anyone. So do yourself a favor and watch out for you.”

You nodded. Maybe you could pump her for more information. “Do you know what--”

“Shh,” she chided. “Checkpoint coming up. Don’t mention this again.”

You didn’t.

The rest of the walk was spent in silence, with Ofarmitage offering not even a friendly comment about the weather before you arrived back at your Commander’s home. Your limp had worn with the passage of time--or perhaps you’d just grown numb to the pain--but even still, you straightened your back while you made your way into your home, groceries in tow.

Your brain was still, unfortunately, busy with the Commander’s words, each of them a pest in their own right, swarming your rationality with their desire-drunk bellies. As you dropped the groceries off with Rose, you wiped your palms on the front of your dress, pulling your lips in between your teeth.

“Here you go,” you said, gesturing to the table. “Everything you asked for.”

Rose cocked her head and advanced, rifling through your spoils, nose scrunched as she counted off her requests. “Milk. Bread. Sugar.” She frowned, her beady gaze nailing you to the floor. “Where’s the butter?”

You blinked, flustered. “Um, you didn’t request any butter.”

She snorted. “Yes, I did.”

“I--I’m fairly certain you didn’t.”

“Ms. Johana requested butter,” she hissed under her breath. “Therefore, I also requested butter. Did you just forget?”

“No, I didn’t--” You stopped, examining her. Her gaunt cheeks were ruddy, her thin lips pinched. “You didn’t--”

“Rose.” It was Johana, sweeping into the kitchen and pulling on a pair of white gloves. Her hair was pulled back in an elaborate braid. “One of the Wives has taken ill. I’m departing to see her.” Her eyes flitted to you. “Did this one remember all of the groceries?”

“No, Ms. Johana,” Rose replied. Her tone was the vocal personification of lying prostrate at Johana’s feet. “Unfortunately, she forgot the butter.”

Johana wrinkled her forehead. “I wanted butter for the Commander’s dinner tonight.” Her gaze snapped to Rose. “If he has to eat alone, he should at least have butter, Rose.”

“I know, Ms. Johana.” Rose’s eyes had locked themselves to the floor.

Now Johana speared you with her stare. “And you forgot it?”

Your mouth was drier than salt. “I…” You glanced between Rose and Johana, wanting to pin the blame on Rose--after all, she’d forgotten to tell you. But the knowledge it’d only further sour your relationship with her and make you appear like a rat stilled your tongue. Rose had something to lose with Johana. You didn’t. She already hated you. “I did. I’m sorry.”

Her nostrils flared, and she shook her head. For a moment, you swore her eyes had glossed with tears. “Useless.” A muscle in her jaw tensed. “Fine. I suppose he won’t need butter with his meal, tonight. Rose, you can let him know who the responsibility falls to.”

Rose nodded. “Yes, yes ma’am.”

“Good.” She sighed--and without a word, marched from the kitchen.

Her absence made your shoulders sink--and to your surprise, so did Rose’s. She said nothing, snatching the groceries from the table and bringing them over to the counters. The swarm in your brain revived itself. Johana had said she was leaving. And that the Commander would be eating alone.

“She’s… kind of rough on you guys.” You tried to sound as casual and innocently curious as possible.

Rose snorted. “No rougher than any other Wife.”

“Right,” you replied, like you implicitly understood her meaning. “Just seems tough.”

Silent, Rose shrugged, continuing to gather ingredients for dinner.

Biting your lip, you went for it. “Does she… leave frequently?”

“Depends,” Rose said. “Usually only when another Wife is sick.”

“Oh,” you said. “How long does she usually stay away?”

Rose froze, and you gulped. That had been a little too far. Like a shadow, she turned her head, staring into the wall. Her voice was soft. “If you’re going to lie with the Commander, don’t be so transparent about it.”

You went stiff. Time to leave. Grimacing, you nodded, pivoting to escape to the room.

“She’ll be gone all night.”

Her words jerked you like you’d been on a chain. She’d given you a gift. You weren’t going to push it. Holding your breath, you continued your way back upstairs.

[k-p-p-d]

I know admin Lily speaks French fluently. So I was wondering did you self teach or did you take a class. If you self taught what programs did you use and how long did it take for you to become fluent?

Allo!!

I took classes at my college to learn it. BUT. There are toooooooons of resources online at your disposal to learn. If you google “free French textbook PDF” you’ll be able to sift through em and find one that works best for you! I highly recommend downloading Duolingo as a good way to supplement your learning because it is really effective. I’ve heard some really good things about Memrise’s French programs too.

I did a lot of my learning outside the classroom though because I’m a full believer in immersion learning. Since (sadly) I couldn’t learn French while in a predominantly Francophone country/area, I used technology!! For my phone, I changed the names of my parents, brothers, and other relatives to the French terms for them (they’re still set like this today); changed the settings for Siri (my arch nemesis) to French; changed my phone’s language and added the language specific keyboard. I watched French films on Netflix (I can give you a list of rec’s if you’d like!) with subtitles when I was beginner then again w/out when I was more advanced (tho sometimes I’d have to turn the subtitles on cuz I wouldn’t be able to understand something). I also listened to HELLAAAAA francophone music to the point where I wouldn’t find myself singing along to each song without missing a word. My favorite francophone artists are Stromae (i could present actual dissertations on my love for him), Maître Gims (“Bella” is all you need in life), and Indila (“Tourner dans la vide” is her best song idc idc idc). I also subscribed to several French YouTubers and followed several French accounts on IG and Tumblr.

Another thing I did (and still do, just with Korean) to help me get comfy speaking is that I would say aloud a thought I had. So, for example, if I thought “I’m very hungry,” I would say aloud, “J'ai très faim.” I have this weird habit where I have to count stairs if I go up a new staircase, so I would count steps in French. Actually, I counted a lotta things in French just because it’s super easy. Also, reading children’s books (and then other books as you go along) REALLY does help!! My biggest piece of advice though would be to learn practical vocab. If you know the words for everyday things (like phone, laptop, school, friend, food, etc), you’re going to have an easier time picking up vocab AND you’re gonna find it easier to start speaking and really learning the language.

Sooooo yeah. Sorry this is such a long reply but I really do hope this helps!! Just remember to take baby steps and do a little bit everyday! And if you ever wanna practice chatting, just shoot me an ask!!

Bonsoir!!

–Lily, who took about 6 semesters worth of French😘