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gayregis · 4 years ago

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I read “A Little Sacrifice” and now I am a MESS

fun fact: i read the books out of order on purpose because i am very focused on instant gratifaction, so i read all of the hansa parts first and then went back to all of the rest of the books, thus i read the assault on castle stygga before a little sacrifice

so when i backtracked and read a little sacrifice, i had a very spiteful look on my face, like sapkowski fucking did it again, huh...

a little sacrifice has a lot of depth and it has a beautifully written sad ending but the first time i read it (with the fan translation from reddit) i didnt quite know what was being translated and what wasnt so i didnt know if i was missing any context, plus when i read, i skim and then go back a thousand times to reread it if i liked it, so i was just extremely confused as to what the fuck the relationship geralt and essi was supposed to be like, and then you get to the end and it’s like well i guess their relationship doesnt even matter after all because she’ll never show up again

also i remember being physically nauseous at reading that essi couldn’t be over 18, especially since i was like 17-18 when i read it a couple of years ago. yeah that basically was the closest i ever got to leaving the witcher fandom entirely, i had like this whole conversation with myself at 2 AM about the decision to stay in the fandom if i have to deal with this being canon, the solution i have come up with for it is that i simply do not acknowledge that part as canon and essi is like 25 in my mind and also she never fell in love with geralt

on one hand i think the story of unrequited love/doomed romance is interesting solely because it is something that you’re not meant to be like “aww cute i hope they get together” at, it’s a terrible fucking relationship in context. and geralt mentions this multiple times because he’s So Monogamous all he wants is yennefer, and this was an interesting way to develop your main romance, sapkowski does this like ten times in the series, where geralt and yennefer are fucking miles apart but somehow their romance gets developed during this period. i think it’s the embodiment of “absence makes the heart grow fonder” and it’s something that realy flew over CDPR’s heads, like they didn’t have a “hot and cold” / “on again off again” relationship, they both had a lot of issues relating to intimacy and committment and self-image which prevented them from true intimacy even though they had become very vulnerable with one another

on the other essi’s purpose in this story is literally just to fall in love with the main character and then die. like. i was genuinely mad because it wasn’t even a valorous death for a symbolic reason, such as with the hansa who die to demonstrate that an exchange of lives has occured. essi just dies because it’s sad and there’s not much place for her later in the series. i was genuinely mad because she had this really great relationship with dandelion and seeing that expanded on was something i felt we got cheated out of. all of the geralt and essi scenes we got i think should have been proportioned in a 1:2 ratio with scenes with her and dandelion / her and dandelion and geralt as a group, because she really didn’t get enough development of her own but had a lot of potential.

plus sapkowski was just like “actually dandelion isn’t always incredibly self-absorbed and blinded by arrogance, let me demonstrate situations in which he cares deeply about the people involved and acts appropriately” and then immediately tossed that concept out of the window until we get to the end of time of contempt/roll into baptism of fire. like you’re really going to throw away the potential for depth and development for one of the main characters that’s the constant contrast to your main character. idk it was just nice to see how dandelion’s character changed to be more mature with essi in the room bc that’s his little sister ;w;

also can i just say the subplot with sh’eenaz and duke agloval annoyed me to no end. the message of the main plot is supposed to be that a little sacrifice for love is actually a really large sacrifice, and geralt refuses to hold any resentment against yennefer anymore because he realizes that she has sacrificed a lot for him and he hasn’t in return:

“A little sacrifice isn’t enough here; you’d have to sacrifice everything, and there’d still be no way of knowing if that would be enough (...) Now I know that a little sacrifice is a hell of a lot.”

but then sh’eenaz loses her fishy tail for duke agloval ON TOP of all of the sacrifices she has made for him before? i can’t deal with this, i call bullshit. the duke has NO redeeming qualities and i still can’t see them as a couple because he was such a dick. so this relationship being part of what demonstrates “a little sacrifice” really just serves to muddle the message of the short story

i have an idea to rewrite the whole thing so to make essi x sh’eenaz real (there is potential in this ship) and the message clearer. i think there should be no romance between essi and geralt because it’s weird and for a character who is basically just Younger & Female Dandelion to immediately fall hard and fast in love with geralt is eye-rolling. i get that it’s about the message and themes of the story and not about the characters, i understand this, the characters actually matter very little, but the message would even be clearer if sh’eenaz had left the duke for essi, because it would show that sh’eenaz has already sacrificed, she’s already done so much, and because the duke never reciprocated, she left him and found love with a better person. and that could be geralt’s wakeup call that a little sacrifice really is a hell of a lot, it would send him hightailing to apologize to yennefer or at least communicate to her that he appreciates her sacrifices that she has made for him, because if you don’t appreciate the sacrifices, you will lose your loved ones.

also ofc i’d involve gerlion and all of this because i feel like there is this weird, buried trail of gerlion vs geryennefer running throughout the sword of destiny, here is my “im looking at this too closely” analysis of the path of how gerlion and geryennefer both get to exist:

bounds of reason - geralt is of course still on good terms with dandelion, but needs to mend things with yennefer, and he manages to do so by the end of the story, also dandelion and yennefer are mildly antagonistic to each other (i also cross out That Comment/Joke/Scene from my mind just fyi, its really just horrible and out of place so i cant consider it as canon)

a shard of ice - geralt and yennefer still have feelings for each other but end up separated by the end of the short story because of insecurities relating to their capacities for love and their relationships with others: there is this contrast between yennefer and istredd, which is a long relationship of friendship and istredd is someone yennefer goes to when she needs security that she will be loved, geralt is someone in contrast that she is very passionately in love with and isn’t really thinking about longtime reliability with

eternal flame - geralt and yennefer have called it quits for now, dandelion also just broke up with his girlfriend, geralt and dandelion meet in a city and decide to get smashed together. that situation alone calls for a single eyes emoji. but id like to point out the parallel here between yen/istredd and geralt/dandelion, dandelion is someone geralt goes to for security in that he will be loved, that his company will be liked and appreciated. also one of the stupidest things ive come up with is that “eternal flame” does mean some romantic interest who’s been in your life seemingly forever and you’ll always love, and the story IS called... ok anyways.... at the end of the story we are presented with this weirdly emotional scene as dudu changes into dandelion because from being geralt for a few seconds, he knows his thoughts and knows that geralt will never use violence against him & that he’ll let him go... this is a very interesting scene because of how comic the rest of the story is in tone

a little sacrifice [rewritten] - so my take on this would be that geralt and dandelion have unresolved and unacknowledged closeness and it’s eating at the both of them. geralt is just annoying because he doesn’t think he’s ‘normal’ enough for love, basically nothing really needs to change except the last 3 to 4 chapters... they still have the argument in bed, they still go to investigate the dragon’s teeth together. just instead of essi randomly confessing the all-consuming, obsessive romantic feelings for geralt that she developed in less than 35 pages, dandelion and geralt are the ones sitting down just discussing what is going on with their relationship that has been developed in-depth for i guess five short stories now (including the voice of reason) and around 15 to 20 in-universe years that have not had any affect on their ages because that’s narrative for you. instead of geralt having to console a lovesick girl crying over him and thinking that he can’t make this little sacrifice, the theme of sacrifice for love is carried over by a discussion of how much they have already sacrificed for one another over the years, and contributes to the redux theme of “sacrifice for love needs to be reciprocated.” simultaneously, after sh’eenaz leaves the duke for a better option, geralt realizes the meaning of a little sacrifice and realizes how he has acted poorly towards yennefer, and seeks to make things right with her again. THUS we can have both ships and they wont conflict.

the sword of destiny - holy shit none of this romance drama shit matters AFTER ALL. actually it’s the CHILD which has been important all of this time, and it’s time to be responsible or invite doom across the threshold... ah wait okay doom has already entered the house. doom is eating tostitos and bean dip.

something more - following consequences of the end of the sword of destiny. obviously about ciri but yennefer and dandelion also have incredibly significant scenes in this short story and i think it’s just to represent that they’re also important in geralt’s life

beginning of blood of elves - yennefer and dandelion actually have a good conversation about everything including geralt and they basically matrue up and agree to never be hostile towards each other ever again. they both see that the others give him something that they cannot, and they’re not in competition with each other at all

tl;dr

#ask #thank you for this ask i know i just went off the deep end and this ask was more (probably) about That Ending #but i have thought about this for a very long time LIKE... FIX THE CANON...#a little sacrifice #the witcher #geralt #essi daven #dandelion #gerlion #boppinrobin

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k-p-p-d · 8 years ago

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I know admin Lily speaks French fluently. So I was wondering did you self teach or did you take a class. If you self taught what programs did you use and how long did it take for you to become fluent?

Allo!!

I took classes at my college to learn it. BUT. There are toooooooons of resources online at your disposal to learn. If you google “free French textbook PDF” you’ll be able to sift through em and find one that works best for you! I highly recommend downloading Duolingo as a good way to supplement your learning because it is really effective. I’ve heard some really good things about Memrise’s French programs too.

I did a lot of my learning outside the classroom though because I’m a full believer in immersion learning. Since (sadly) I couldn’t learn French while in a predominantly Francophone country/area, I used technology!! For my phone, I changed the names of my parents, brothers, and other relatives to the French terms for them (they’re still set like this today); changed the settings for Siri (my arch nemesis) to French; changed my phone’s language and added the language specific keyboard. I watched French films on Netflix (I can give you a list of rec’s if you’d like!) with subtitles when I was beginner then again w/out when I was more advanced (tho sometimes I’d have to turn the subtitles on cuz I wouldn’t be able to understand something). I also listened to HELLAAAAA francophone music to the point where I wouldn’t find myself singing along to each song without missing a word. My favorite francophone artists are Stromae (i could present actual dissertations on my love for him), Maître Gims (“Bella” is all you need in life), and Indila (“Tourner dans la vide” is her best song idc idc idc). I also subscribed to several French YouTubers and followed several French accounts on IG and Tumblr.

Another thing I did (and still do, just with Korean) to help me get comfy speaking is that I would say aloud a thought I had. So, for example, if I thought “I’m very hungry,” I would say aloud, “J'ai très faim.” I have this weird habit where I have to count stairs if I go up a new staircase, so I would count steps in French. Actually, I counted a lotta things in French just because it’s super easy. Also, reading children’s books (and then other books as you go along) REALLY does help!! My biggest piece of advice though would be to learn practical vocab. If you know the words for everyday things (like phone, laptop, school, friend, food, etc), you’re going to have an easier time picking up vocab AND you’re gonna find it easier to start speaking and really learning the language.

Sooooo yeah. Sorry this is such a long reply but I really do hope this helps!! Just remember to take baby steps and do a little bit everyday! And if you ever wanna practice chatting, just shoot me an ask!!

Bonsoir!!

–Lily, who took about 6 semesters worth of French😘

#oh and I wanna clarify that fluency is a v v v subjective goal #I say I'm fluent as a way to quickly convey my proficiency with the language #but I don't personally consider myself to be fluent the term fluency denotes knowing ALL the words #and being able to express yourself without mistakes #I still trip up all the damn time when I'm speaking English and French is no different #but I can speak it well enough to not only be able to get around in a francophone country/area #but to also carry in depth conversations w/ others and to live for a period of time in that place #those were my 2 main goals when I set about learning it

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yasminsqueendom · 5 years ago

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Antique the Vamp Geek Pt1 Ep12

CW: The usual (stress, anxiety,anger)

A/N: Another good old Q and A

W/C: 1994

So hey, I feel like I’ve gotten away from my original purpose here. Y’all have been extremely supportive in the messages that you have sent me regarding the content of my last few episodes, but I really want to hear from y’all.

I have had the opportunity to let you guys send me recorded questions. And I have to say, I really love hearing your voices. Y’all sound so cute to me. But, anyway, I have your questions, and I will answer them as I always have.

Here’s the first one from @errbody.mad3: Hey, Tique! I have to say, I love listening to your show. I think that everything you do and say is amazing. There have been times that I wanted to give up, but you have kept me going with your sass, and strength. How do you do it? But, also, how are you? Just in general.

Hey, love. With beautiful people like you in the world, things can’t be so bad, right? Thank you, kindly, for listening to my crazy ass. And thank you for existing. You don’t know what it means to me to know that with everything that been happening, people like you keep pulling through and sticking it out with me.

Umm, I’m alive I guess. There is definitely a lot more going on than I have the ability to say here. Just know that I am surviving. There are some legal things that I have to deal with between me and my family (my parents in particular). I can't speak to my younger siblings at all. All communications have pretty much ceased. Outside of that, I don't have much to say.

Oh yeah, and my parents have begun a campaign to get my show off the air. So there's that.

Ok, next question from @tko.winna876: I remember you said way back in the first show that not everybody becomes a vampire when they come in contact with the virus. Can you elaborate on that?

So…..when I was turned I did A LOT of research about what this was. There wasn't a whole lot of info at the time, but one thing was clear: everyone didn't turn. After some thought, I suppose it makes sense. If everyone turned at first contact there would be no more uninfected humans. But, I became curious about people who didn't turn. Apparently, the virus can still hide inside of an “uninfected” person for a period of time. The immune system can fight it. However, if that person becomes ill, and their immune system is compromised, the virus could become active. On average, out of 100 samples, this “reactivation” happened less than once. Similarly, with pregnant women, the chances of their babies becoming vamps were even smaller than reactivation.

Oddly enough, white people are slightly more susceptible to the virus. But people of color still tend to contract it at higher rates.

And then there is the population of people that just die. It is a slow and painful death. You end up bleeding out of various orifices and severely dehydrating.

Then, obviously, there is the population that turns. Your kidneys are basically failing and you can't make new platelets, so you need to consume blood. What manner of sorcery manages to get it out of your guts and into your bloodstream is beyond my understanding.

Most of the people who turn end up dying anyway.

The ones that survive can live really long lives. But we aren't exactly immortal. Due to our bodies being repeatedly rejuvenated by consuming blood, we age a lot slower. Quality of blood also affects this. Drinking from alcoholics, or people with certain chronic illnesses can have negative effects on us. We may even experience a high from a drug addict depending on how recently they have used.

The younger the blood, the better. But I am morally opposed to drinking from anyone younger than me. Just putting that out there.

So, yeah. That's what I know so far. You are always welcome to peruse the website for more info if you like. And there are several forums where older, more experienced vamps will discuss and give advice and survival tips.

Alright, I have a question from @subwaykid312: Will you ever have a guest on your show? Like actually there having a conversation with you?

Ummm, it’s an idea I have been playing with for a while now. I do want to have people come in and visit. Safety is a priority for me though, so I’m always sceptical of people wanting to meet me. Also, I would never want someone to come in if they don’t feel comfortable discussing things on the air. My ultimate goal would be to have an experienced vamp come on the show to talk about their experiences and share resources. And,, I would want to hear their thoughts on government involvement the treatment of our kind. I know that a few more experienced vamps follow my show, and I certainly want to extend an invitation to anyone who would want to participate.

Here is another question from @lei.lei716: Hey Tique! It’s been awhile since you talked about sex and vampirism. Do you have any other advice about safe ways that we can be intimate with our partners?

Actually, yes. It’s something that has been weighing on my mind for some time. I really enjoyed a lot of the feedback I got on the practicing safe sex. Particularly, when you are infected with a contagious virus that may alter your partner’s life permanently, or kill them painfully.

I think that you should be patient. I definitely will get more in depth with safe sex, intimacy, and all that in another show. Also, just hygiene and upkeep in general seem like a good idea to discuss. Vampirism isn’t all that magical shit you see in movies. Your body still does weird things.

Okay, one more question from @esthea.312: I remember you talked about getting punched in the face back in Ep 4. I got into a fight with another vamp, and they punched me in the face. And...um… one of my fangs fell out. I’m more than a little concerned with this. I know uninfected adults don’t grow another set of teeth. Do we get new teeth, since we got fangs?

So, this is a really good question. Yes, our teeth did grow and strengthen when we were turned. But we did not grow another set of teeth. If that were the case, then our old teeth would have been sitting on our pillows, and the tooth fairy would have left us a bag of blood as a gift. So, sadly, you will not grow another fang. However, there are some dentists that are progressive enough that they will be happy to create a new one for you. Hell, you could be like Beyonce with “diamond fangs” in your mouth. But, it will cost you a pretty penny. If you can afford it, go awf. Otherwise, try to only take photos from your cute side.

Which actually reminds me of another situation. I’ve heard that there are some vamps that have their fangs replaced by flatter teeth. It makes them feel safer, and it’s easier to assimilate. Honestly, I have considered getting the surgery done since I don’t bite for sustenance. Then, I realized that people are always uncomfortable with my appearance. Being a big black girl with super short hair, people always feel the need to stare or offer their opinions about my health. So, there is that. At least now, they back away from me rather than trying to get closer.

Ok, one last question from @drea.ds.saint12: Do you have/know of any vamps that have dental issues? Our immune systems are stronger than the uninfected because sanguinilis kicks our systems into overdrive so that it doesn’t have to share us with other illnesses. Our teeth (and bones in general) strengthen a lot when we turn, but I have seen some vamps with rotting teeth. How is that possible?

Well, upkeep is still important. We are still susceptible to bacterial infections and such that can eat away at us. Fungi, and things like that, can still settle in us. The biggest difference between us and the uninfected are that we heal quickly. So, we can still contract infections, but our bodies fight them off faster.

I know that wasn’t the best explanation, but think of it this way: If we develop an infection, the bacteria/fungus can live on us or in us, but the moment it starts to hinder our ability to function, sanguinilis kicks in and beats it’s ass. That means that, yes, our teeth can rot and we can get rashes and such, but they end up being minor inconveniences.

Other viruses aren’t tolerated at all. It wants us to survive for a long as possible, and when that isn’t possible, it makes us infect others. It’s vain, but it isn’t stingy. It loves to share.

Alright! So that’s it for the Q and A session, but I did have other updates for y’all as far as our local government is concerned.

Apparently, there is a vote in the works. The city council is trying to decide if underage vamps should be allowed to attend schools. Now, shortly after the discovery that vampirism was real, there was a push to test everyone who worked/attended schools where the students were under the age of 18. Fortunately, the vast majority (and I mean like 99.99%) of students under the age of 18, and their teachers came up as negative for sanguinilis. In fact, the largest population of infected people came up in the laborers that clean and cook in schools (at less than 3% infected).

So, at the very worst case scenario, 97% of people who work in educational spaces that taught children under the age of 18 were uninfected. Keep in mind that “infected” in this case means that they were carrying the virus, but weren’t necessarily a vampire. That percentage was less than 1%. And those few cases were all night janitors who never actually came into contact with students.

But, that was all it took to get parents up in arms. And understandably so, considering the alternative possibility that someone might end up taking a bite out of your child while they learn the alphabet.

The “vamp ban” as it was termed tried to encompass college campuses as well. But, there is way too much money that goes into have college students around. And private institutions fought against letting the government make that decision for them. All the lobbying and city hall shout fests are what led to things like the testing they are doing on campus here.

The vote will take place next Tuesday. So, however you feel about vamps existing, get into the ears of your representatives, and let them know exactly how you feel.

Other updates: I got my results back from the nurse’s office. My results were exactly what you would expect. They came with a strong recommendation that this school may not be the best one for me. But, so far, they can’t legally expel me. It doesn’t matter anyway. I already made the moves I needed to make to ensure that I won’t have to still be there come next fall semester.

So, fuck this school.

Lastly, I keep getting all these random threats, and all I can say to y’all is this: the more lives I save by speaking about our issues, the better I feel. And you can shove an entire bag of dicks right down your throat. I literally don’t care what you have to say about anything I do.

Ok, so that is it for today.

I love you all endlessly. Please stay moisturized and hydrated.

Look out for one another,

Love Tique.

#black vamps #black women in fiction #black fiction #black fic #black women #vamps #vampire #vampires

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smallpressdistribution · 7 years ago

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11 SPD BOOKS TO HELP YOU SEE THE UNSEEN

IN THIS WEEK’S SPDCLICKHOLE by Ayame Keane-Lee (our inimitable high school intern)

I just recently wrapped my High School’s production ofthe Vagina Monologues in which I, admittedly, was one of the loudest cast members. In my monologue, “Reclaiming Cunt,” I yelled “cunt” and the letters within it in various tones.

I was approached by one of my cast members who told me her dad said: “The cunt girl was really good! I would never have expected that voice from her.”

This instance reminded me of who I am, an East-Asian girl, and how for the rest of my life people will assume certain behaviors from me. When I heard that this month’s #SPDhandpicked theme is THE UNSEEN it made me think about all the unseen aspects of being non-white or non-straight, or non-cis, or some kind of mixture of all three.

To me, The Unseen is all about exploring the unknown--wading in it, breathing in it, describing it.

So, for this month’s #SPDhandpicked listicle I found books that describe/explore/study the lives of people often unseen or hidden from us.

1. You're The Most Beautiful Thing That Happened by Arisa White (Augury Books)

“YOU’RE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING THAT HAPPENED pronounces while simultaneously exploring that which cannot be enunciated. White best articulates this work as entering into a conversation that centers ‘black queer female desire,’ and finding the possibilities of meaning that those labels can't encompass.”-Carrie Y. T. Kholi

2. Dreaming of Ramadi in Detroit by Aisha Sabatini Sloan (1913 Press)

“DREAMING OF RAMADI IN DETROIT is an otherworldly meditation on the elasticity of memory, the liveliness of blackness and possibilities of the essay. Aisha Sabatini Sloan manages to produce a collection of essays that are at once innovative, inspiring, sobering, and absolutely terrifying while daring every other essayist in the country to catch up.” - Kiese Laymon

3. Fanon City Meu by Jaime Luis Huenún, translated by Thomas Rothe (Dialogos / Lavender Ink)

“In some quarters, the term ‘globalization’ may yet have beneficent connotations. But in this remarkably powerful and prophetic collection of poetry by award-winning Chilean poet Jaime Luis Huenún (b. 1967), global means the planetary dissemination of inequality and rage accumulated over the centuries and deposited in a single society of new masters and slaves, who speak a mixture of languages on the honed blade of these poems that cut like a machete. Make no mistake. Huenún is not a poet who minces his words in FANON CITY MEU. With a certain resignation capable of assimilating prior defeats and not exempt from bitterness, he presents his denunciation of these conditions from within an historical past that is simultaneously a message and an exhortation from the future. - Steven F. White

4. tasks by Victor Rodriguez Núñez (co-im-press)

"A Cuban poet who has spent much of his adult life outside Cuba, Rodríguez Núñez takes to all he sees and feels in poetry a consciousness of Cuba as place, as communities, and as a country isolated from his adopted home in America, as a form of restraint and dynamism...I cannot speak highly enough of this poet." - John Kinsella

5. Shadow on a Tightrope: Writings by Women on Fat Oppression by Lisa Schoenfielder and Barb Wieser, eds. (Aunt Lute Books)

“SHADOW ON A TIGHTROPE is a collection of articles, personal stories, and poems by fat women, about their lives and the fat-hating society in which they live. Topics include: exposing the myths concerning fat; what it's like to grow up fat; a description of the medical crimes committed against fat women; stories of the daily hassles, verbal and physical harassment in the lives of fat women; inaccessibility to clothing, jobs, and public places for exercise and sports; effects on the emotional, spiritual, and intellectual selves of fat women living in a society that hates them, and how they have learned to survive.”

6. Meditations On The Mother Tongue by An Tran (C&R Press)

“In rich and vivid prose across twelve stories, men and women are displaced from their loved ones, their cultures and their homes, and look to the natural and spiritual worlds in search of anything that can offer a sense of belonging and lasting satisfaction. These are careful meditations on the desire to know one's self and be known by others, where parents and lovers alike appear as gods or as ghosts, dominating and unknowable, and where the bonds between fathers and sons and brothers, men and women, husbands and wives, are built, tested and found lacking.”

7. Kalamkari & Cordillera: Poems of India and Chile by Wanda Campbell (Inanna Publications)

"Inspired by Pablo Neruda, Wanda Campbell's KALAMKARI & CORDILLERA shows a mature writer at her peak. Compassion and tenderness exist alongside the harshest of socio-political commentary, with Campbell’s imagery exquisite throughout, her lines interwoven like the "Patola" or "silk cloth" she writes of, united in "a weft of darkness and a warp of light." Speaking of a "girl child" of Andhra, she writes: "her cradle is a sari/tied to a rafter." Beauty and ugliness; love and loss; freedom and bondage; dichotomies and all of the shades in between colour Campbell's poetic landscape from the India of her childhood to the Chile of Neruda's." - Myna Wallin

8. How Do I Look? by Sennah Yee (Metatron)

"Sennah Yee's HOW DO I LOOK? is a selfie through a webcam in the compact mirror tossed over the shoulder of a nightswimmer into a suburban chlorine pool. These poems are the hit radio lyrics that roll around in the mind before falling asleep, the silently crafted love poems for an unrequited crush written on a blog saved in drafts, the emails sent to one's future self opened at a karaoke bar years later in another country. HOW DO I LOOK? made me look back and get home safe. I look in the rear view mirror to find flowers growing out of me." - Stacey Tran

9. Living the Edges: A Disabled Women's Reader by Diane Driedger, editor (Inanna Publications)

“This collection brings together the diverse voices of women with various disabilities. The women speak frankly about the societal barriers they encounter in their everyday lives due to social attitudes and physical and systemic inaccessibility. They bring to light the discrimination they experience through sexism, because they are women, and through ableism, because they have disabilities. For them, the personal is definitely political. Here, Canadian women discuss their lives in the areas of employment, body image, sexuality and family life, society's attitudes, and physical, sexual and emotional abuse. While society traditionally views having a disability as "weakness" and that women are the "weaker" sex, this collection points to the strength, persistence, and resilience of disabled women living the edges.”

10. Instructions Within by Ashraf Fayadh (The Operating System)

"Palestinian poet, artist and cultural activist Ashraf Fayadh reminds us, through his life and work, that blasphemy (for which he has been sentenced to 8 years in prison and 800 lashes) is still a crime in Saudi Arabia, but also that poetry is powerful against the criminal madness of a deranged state: '...these pages have exhausted all languages known to earth / ...to offer a name that matches your definition of self / your name-like an inkwell pregnant with possibilities.' The Operating System does us an extraordinary service by making this magnificent poet's voice available. Read Fayadh to understand what we are fighting against, and for!" - Margaret Randall

11. Bearing the Mask: Southwestern Persona Poems by Scott Wiggerman and Cindy Huyser, eds. (Dos Gatos Press)

"A unique glimpse at a special region known to some as borderlands, this anthology of persona poems gives articulate voice to the many peoples and periods that have made their mark on this scarred and sacred land of deserts and rivers, Indian petroglyphs and fifty-foot marionettes, haciendas and Air Force bases, this ground so varied in climate and culture but so unified in spirit. The spirit of this terra incognita fits its original definition as 'unknown territory,' for unknown also implies undefined and therefore unbound, open to interpretation. The reach of these voices is both global and personal. From Years Following Her Death, Former Texas Slave Silvia King Speaks to a Kidnapped Nigerian Girl to Chester Nez Arriving at Guadalcanal, 1942, these are human voices in all their honesty and depth of caring." - Carmen Tafolla

All #SPDhandpicked books on THE UNSEEN are 20% off all month w/ code HANDPICKED

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john-laurens · 7 years ago

Text

Alexander Hamilton to John Laurens, April 1779: Close Reading and Analysis

After posting the original and edited versions of this letter, I wanted to do a thorough analysis of it to cover the many innuendos and implications contained within. Again, this reading is my own (though it has been driven by suggestions from others) and is a subjective interpretation of the data we have. I encourage you to read the letter for yourself to draw your own conclusions and add to the discussion.

Cold in my professions, warm in [my] friendships, I wish, my Dear Laurens, it m[ight] be in my power, by actions rather than words, [to] convince you that I love you_

This is the first (surviving) letter that Hamilton sent to Laurens, and he opened it with an explicit declaration of his love for Laurens. He even suggested a physical aspect of their relationship that likely would have gone beyond the socially acceptable “romantic friendships” of the day. What’s interesting here is that Hamilton stated that his verbal and written sentiments are typically “cold” and that he wants the distance between Laurens and himself to be eliminated so that he might be able to express the full extent of his feelings through some from of physical affection. However, this is one of the most emotionally expressive and romantic letters written by Hamilton – if this is “cold,” just imagine what the full “warmth” of their relationship was like when they were not separated.

I shall only tell you tha[t] ‘till you bade us Adieu, I hardly knew the value you had tought my heart to set upon you[_] Indeed, my friend, it was not well done_ You know the opinion I entertain of mankind, and how much it is my desire to preserve myself free from particular attachments, and to keep my happin[ess] independent on the caprice of others_ You sh[ould] not have taken advantage of my sensibility to ste[al] into my affections without my consent. But a[s] you have done it and as we are generally indu[l]gent to those we love_ I shall not scruple to pa[r]don the fraud you have committed, on condit[ion] that for my sake, if not for your own, you will always continue to merit the partiality, which you have so artfully instilled into [me_]

Here, Hamilton emphasizes the fact that he does not form many close relationships and lets Laurens (and future readers like ourselves) know just how exceptional it was that Laurens formed such a deep connection with Hamilton. Hamilton lightly teased him about accomplishing such a feat, but in doing so, he affirmed the depth of the love that he had for Laurens and revealed that he was quite committed to the relationship they developed. The term “partiality” was also frequently used by Hamilton when expressing his love for Laurens, and I have a brief post here which highlights those instances.

I also think it’s interesting that Hamilton switched from “preserve myself free from particular friendships” in his original letter to “preserve myself free from particular attachments” in this final, edited version. The earlier version implies somewhat that Hamilton didn’t keep many friends and that his relationship with Laurens was only on the level of friendship. Hamilton did have friends – but the number of people he deeply cared for and loved was kept to a minimum. He seems to have been affected by the large number of people he loved and ultimately lost early on in life to a point where he guarded his heart to prevent any further suffering. By switching the phrasing to “attachments,” this idea comes across more clearly, and it’s implied that Hamilton’s relationship with Laurens was a more serious “attachment” rather than a casual friendship.

I have received your two lett[ers] one from Philadelphia the other from Chester[_]

Laurens did write to Hamilton! Wow! It’s almost like most of Laurens’s letters have been lost or destroyed, and maybe we shouldn’t judge the level of one’s affection based on the number of letters written by a depressed man who didn’t write much in general! So please stop arguing that Hamilton loved Laurens more than Laurens loved Hamilton. I have a post about this here.

I am pleased with your success, so far_ and I hope the favourable omens, that precede your app[lic]ation to the Assembly may have as favoura[ble] an issue_ provided the situation of affairs sh[ould] require it which I fear will be the case_ But both for your country’s sake and for my ow[n] I wish the enemy may be gone from Georgia befor[e] [y]ou arrive and that you may be obliged to return and [sh]are the fortunes of your old friends_

Hamilton wished “for [his] own” sake that Laurens would not meet any danger and that he would be able to return to camp swiftly and safely. ‘Daw. This once again emphasizes the level of attachment that Hamilton had with Laurens. Their desires for each other’s safety weren’t just casual well-wishes – they were deeply personal concerns borne out of their love for each other and the closeness between them.

[In respect] to the Commission, which you [received from] Congress, all the world must think your conduct perfectly right. Indeed your ideas upon this occasion seem not to have their wonted accuracy; and you have had scruples, in a great measure, without foundation. By your appointment as Aide De Camp to the Commander in Chief you had as much the rank of Leiutenant Colonel, as any officer in the line_ your receiving a commission as Lieutenant Colonel from the date of that appointment, does not in the least injure or interfere with one of them; unless by virute of it you are introduced into a particular regiment in violation of the right of succession; which is not, the case at present neither is it a necessary consequence. As you were going to command a batalion, it was proper you should have commission, and if this commission had been dated posterior to your appointment as Aide De Camp, I should have considered it as derogatory to your former rank_ to mine and to that of the whole corps_ The only thing I see wrong in this affair is this_ Congress by their conduct, both on the former and present occasion, appear to have intended to confer a privilege, an honor, a mark of distinction, a something upon you; which they withold from other Gentlemen in the family. This carries with it an air of preference, which, though we can all truly say, we love your character and admire you[r] military merit, cannot fall to give some of us uneasy sensations. But in this, my Dear J I wish you to understand me well_ The blame, if there is any, falls wholly upon Congress_ I repea[t] it_ your conduct has been perfectly right and even laudable; you rejected the offer when you ought to have rejected it; and you accepted [it] [w]hen you ought to have accepted it; and let me [add] [w]ith a degree of overscrupulous del[ica]cy._ It [was necessary] to your project_ your p[roject] was the public good_ and I should have done the same_ _ In hesitating, you have refined upon the refinements of generosity.

@ciceroprofacto and @revolutionary-pirate have a good post here that details that complexities behind Laurens receiving his commission as Lieutenant-Colonel, and I won’t try to summarize any of that here. I will comment on the fact that Hamilton repeatedly emphasized that Laurens acted properly and was an honorable, good man who was always trying to do right by his peers and his country. Laurens seems to have suffered from depression, and his self-loathing and fears that he was not doing enough good or failing in his actions come across prominently in many of his letters. Hamilton’s reassurances of Laurens’s character likely were made with the intention of helping Laurens to see that he was loved/appreciated and that he had done much good in his life. Laurens’s father often refrained from directly complimenting or praising him, so it’s good that Hamilton was able to provide Laurens with the positive affirmations that he needed.

There is a total stagnation of new[s] here, political military_ Gates has refused the Indian command_ Sullivan is come to take it[_] The former has lately given a fresh proof of his impudence, his folly and his rascality_ ‘Tis no great matter; but a peculiarity in the case, prevents my saying what

I anticipate by sympathy the pleasure you must feel from the sweet converse of your dearer self in the inclosed letters_ I hope they may be recent_ They were brought out of New York by General Thompson delivered to him there by a Mrs. Moore not long from England, soi-disante parente de Madame votre épouse. She speaks of a daughter of yours_ well when she left England_ perhaps [illegible/torn]

Hamilton first wrote this paragraph with references to Laurens in the third person rather than in the second person, which carries a greater feeling of anger, resentment, and detachment. With third person, Hamilton refused to directly address Laurens and communicated his shock and bitterness over Laurens’s withholding of his marital status. Hamilton’s use of “She speaks of a daughter of yours” rather than “She speaks of your daughter” indicates that he did not know about Frances and likely Martha as well. Hamilton had known Laurens for about a year and a half at this point – during this period, they had grown incredibly close, risked their lives in battles together, and even participated in a duel together. Laurens felt the need to refrain from telling Hamilton about his wife and child during this time – possibly because of the similarities between his marriage and Hamilton’s family life, or possibly because of the nature of the romantic/sexual relationship between Laurens and Hamilton. Regardless of the reasoning, Hamilton’s anger here is certainly understandable.

And Now my Dear as we are upon the subject of wife_ I empower and comman[d] you to get me one in Carolina_

Everyone knows this paragraph for its massive amounts of sexual innuendo, but I am of the mind that this paragraph was also a description of Laurens. By describing Laurens as his ideal “wife,” Hamilton would have reaffirmed the idea that 1) he loved Laurens (even after learning about his wife and child), and 2) he had no intention of seeking another partner or marrying in the foreseeable future. I’ll do my best to explain each point.

Such a wife a[s] I want will, I know, be difficult to be found _ but if you succeed, it will the stronger proof of your zeal and dexterity_

Dexterity most often refers to skill with one’s hands – potential sexual innuendo? With Hamilton, it’s certainly possible.

Take her description[_] She must be young_ handsome

Laurens: young and handsome. Check.

(I lay most stress upon a good shape)

This could be referring to the fact that Laurens was physically fit and considered quite handsome, but I also read this as sexual innuendo.

sensible (a little learning will do)_

Given his extensive education with private tutors and European schools, I’d say that Laurens was certainly a learned man.

well bred (but she must have an aversion to the word ton)

Laurens was certainly well-bred, so another check-mark here. In the 18th century, the word “ton” referred to fashionable society, so Hamilton’s remark would allow us to check yet another box for Laurens. Though from the upper-class himself, Laurens repeatedly discussed his desires for social, racial, and economic equality, and he fought for each of these to varying extents. In this way, Laurens demonstrated his aversion to maintaining the status quo of the high society in that time period.

chaste and tender (I am an enthusiast in my notions of fidelity and fondness)

This could easily describe the “fidelity and fondness” that Laurens was demonstrating in his relationship with Hamilton. Additionally, the remark about “fidelity” could also be a jab at Laurens over the recent marriage reveal.

of some good nature_ a great deal of generosity (she must neither love money nor scolding, for I dislike equally a termagant and an œconomist)_

This brings me back to some points I raised after the line about being “well bred.” Though Laurens was rich and frequently a heavy spender, he also refused to take pay for his military service and openly discussed his desire to distribute wealth equally.

In politics, I am indifferen[t] what side she may be of_ I think I have arguments that will easily convert her to mine_

This one is a little harder to explain in relation to Laurens. Laurens and Hamilton appear to have had similar political opinions, so Hamilton likely did not have to convert Laurens to his side very often. Hamilton could be saying that his love for Laurens would always supersede any differences they had over politics. Again, this isn’t my strongest point.

As to religion a moderate stock will satisfy me_ She must believe in god and hate a saint.

This appears to be an accurate description of Laurens’s religion. We know that Laurens was some form of Christian and believed in God, but he rarely mentions religion or God in any of his letters (I believe he made no mention of religion in his letters after his teenage years).

But as to fortune, the larger stock of that the better_ You know my temper and circumstances and will therefore pay special attention to this article on the treaty_ _ Though I run no risk of going to Purgatory for my avarice; yet as money is an essential ingredient to happiness in this world_ as I have not much of my own_ and as I am very little calculated to get more either by my address or industry; it must needs be that my wife, if I get one, bring at least a sufficiency to administ[er] to her own extravagancies

Laurens was quite rich, so he certainly falls into the financial category that Hamilton preferred. The last line here could also be poking fun at Laurens for his desire for certain “extravagancies” during the war (hair powder, fancy clothes, and the like – Laurens did have to look good as an aide to Washington, but his requests for new clothes came quite frequently and likely with a certain fashionable style in mind).

NB You will be pleased to recollect in your negotiation that I have no invincible antipathy to the maidenly beauties & that I am willing to take the trouble of them upon mys[elf_]

@ciceroprofacto made a great addition to an earlier post of mine that more thoroughly details the innuendo of this line. “Maidenly beauties” likely refers to a virgin of some sort, and it’s heavily implied that Hamilton took on the “trouble” of Laurens’s “virginity.” In this discussion, we should remember that “virginity” does not have to be and should not be reduced to an argument of who took on what position during intercourse. Rather, we can glean that Laurens was likely involved with Hamilton in a way he had never been involved with a man before.

If you should not readily meet with a lady that you think answers my description you can only advertise in the public papers and doubtess you will hear of many competitors for most of the qualifications required, who will be glad to become candidates for such a pr[ize] as I am. To excite their emulation, it will be necessary for you in to give an account of the lover_ his size, make, qua[lity] of mind and body, [ach]ieve[me]nts, expectations, fortunes, &c_ In drawing my picture, you wil[l] no doubt be civil to your friend_ mind you do justice to the length of my nose and don’t forget, that I [never spared you of pictures]_

The fact that Laurens was familiar with the finer details of Hamilton’s penis is highly suggestive that Laurens and Hamilton had an intimate relationship. Many people have posted about this innuendo before, so I won’t get into any more detail here.

@ciceroprofacto also conducted a great analysis of the infamous scratched-out five words (”never spared you of pictures”), which you can read here.

After reviewing what I have written_ I am ready to ask myself what could have put it into my head to hazard this jeu de follie_ Do I want a wife[?] No. I have plagues enough without desiring to add to the number that greatest of all; and if I were silly enough to do it, I should take care how I employed a proxy._

The paragraph that is always forgotten by straight historians. Hamilton was completely joking about wanting a wife – he says so himself. Additionally, the fact that Hamilton was joking helps to support the idea that the previous paragraph was truly about Laurens.

Did I mean to show my wit?_

Did you know that “wit” was Shakespearean slang for “penis”? The more you know.

if I did, I am sure I have missed my aim_ Did I only intend to [frisk?] In this I have succeeded_ but I have done m[ore_] I have gratified my feelings, by lengthening o[ut] the only kind of intercourse now in my po[wer] with my friend_ Adieu

The use of “intercourse” (and, to some extent, “gratified”) is once again very sexually suggestive.

Yrs. A Hamilt[on]

P.S_ Fleury shall be taken care of. All the family send their love_ In this join the General Mrs. Washington_ & what is best, tis not in the stile of [ce]remony but sincerit[y]_

#John Laurens #Alexander Hamilton

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t--o--f--u-blog · 6 years ago

Text

☼☼☼☼☼ also think tank a white lecturer using the n-word when quoting literature in a lecture? I think she used it once outside of quotation as well certainly not meant in a disrespectful way, just seems unnecessary

☐☐☐☐☐ better have a justification at least but if you just use it out of the blue it always seems like some attempt at provocation 'i can say this because my interests are purely academic'

☼☼☼☼☼ mmmmm we're reading uncle tom's cabin, so it's hard to avoid

☐☐☐☐☐ should only be quoted verbatim if absolutely necessary, if there's no alternative I think

☼☼☼☼☼ yeah seems like she could have avoided it pretty easily

☐☐☐☐☐ if she's making no acknowledgement of the word's relationship to her privilege, that's rly not good

☼☼☼☼☼ yeah she's older so there might just be an outdated perspective there 'I'm just quoting the text, it was anti-slavery so I'm fine' sort of mentality maybe?

☐☐☐☐☐ still she would know about the contemporary attitude to the word and she should at least mention that! ugh like it doesn't sound malicious or super super racist, but eh

☼☼☼☼☼ Yeah I feel iffffy about it

☐☐☐☐☐ should mention it!

☼☼☼☼☼ Trying to work out if I should send email and if so how to word it

☐☐☐☐☐ mm

☍☍☍☍☍ be interesting to actually properly discuss it

☐☐☐☐☐ yep

☍☍☍☍☍ heck I’d be interested to know more of a history of the word basically teach properly why its offensive

☼☼☼☼☼ Yeah, I might bring it up in the tutorial different teacher, but maybe good discussion

☐☐☐☐☐ mm that seems appropriate i'd love to hear how that goes

☍☍☍☍☍ uhhh there was someone who used it at Bar Oussou the host reallllly should’ve said something and I normally would but just too tired for confrontation

☼☼☼☼☼ Yeah ☐☐☐☐☐ was telling me Sounded very cringe

☐☐☐☐☐ v unfortunate most disappointed in yhe host tbh

☐☐☐☐☐ he maybe had a old-worldy attitude to it and didn't mind or was too cowardly lol which do u think?

☍☍☍☍☍ I think he thought it was in the context of the poem she didn’t use it to degrade someone directly, but the word itself is degrading

☐☐☐☐☐ ugh but the poem is in the context of fuckin oussou yep ppl need to have a think before using words

☍☍☍☍☍ I just think its great to have a stage to do emotional work, but it can cross a line into normalising shitty white behaviour

☐☐☐☐☐ mm

☍☍☍☍☍ I went to a coloured school so I can’t b racist wah wah wah

☐☐☐☐☐ and you have to consider your audience if your rant is dehumanising or brushes aside/causes suffering u gotta reconsider felt pretty ashamed on behalf of bartender/various black audience members not saying that dumb white shit would be acceptable with a different audience, but her obliviousness was kinda astounding

☼☼☼☼☼ wow yeah cringefest

☍☍☍☍☍ lol spoken word scene as a whole can b so lame haha rings true to why I/we left

☐☐☐☐☐ mm so macho! that's what I liked about talkbox some sensitivity there, gentleness

☍☍☍☍☍ still, I just wish people read more lok *lol

☐☐☐☐☐ yep I wish I read more

☍☍☍☍☍ like the stylistic range is generally pretty lame

☐☐☐☐☐ I guess that's why anyone reads mmm

☍☍☍☍☍ I wish I read more too

☐☐☐☐☐ hahahaha

☼☼☼☼☼ :')

☍☍☍☍☍ don’t mean to shit on everyon, I just think the scene as a whole and the conception of poetry is lacklustre - it doesn’t seem like the time for poetry, sometimes

☐☐☐☐☐ mm

☍☍☍☍☍ ppl too distracted by netflix uwu sounds like phones but too much

☐☐☐☐☐ doesn't seem like the time for art, sometimes! hahhh

☍☍☍☍☍ its definitely a time for music

☼☼☼☼☼ I think there's a place for poetry It's just raps and memes

☍☍☍☍☍ yeh but I play dat long game there might not b a place now but I’mma fkn make one whether you like it or not lol

☼☼☼☼☼ Oh yeah fair go 4 it

☐☐☐☐☐ loll

☍☍☍☍☍ I just mean that I think 'poetry' has evolved into other forms, and now the traditional form is struggling to find a place I mean does anyone pay attention to Victorian satirical cartoons? I don’t I think it’s also tho that the low brow is more apparent in the moment, the high brow more apparent from a distance the shit sinks, basically

☼☼☼☼☼ elaborate?

☍☍☍☍☍ time brings forward higher brow material while a lot of lower brow stuff falls back or like there’s an art for getting through your days, and there’s an art for elaborate long form spiritual liberation

☼☼☼☼☼ so u don't mind about a lack of audience now if your work has staying power?

☍☍☍☍☍ different works have different digestion time and yes that is what I’m saying

☼☼☼☼☼ hmmmmmmm

☍☍☍☍☍ hmmmmmmmm?

☐☐☐☐☐ personally I don't know whether I'm prioritising the reception of my work or its value to me right now i feel poetry/art in general are useful tools for thinking about the world useful philosophical tools i guess and idk whether i'm learning for the sake of my own knowledge/making 'better' art or learning so what I put out into the world is better received I suppose the two aren't mutually exclusive but yeah - feeling fairly indifferent to the idea of creating work that will persist right now part of me feels more comfortable with being lost forever lol or at least that I should become comfortable with that, bc that is what will happen inevitably

☍☍☍☍☍ I just think in this atmosphere of complete denial of the arts as an important component of society, as well as the stigmatisation of ritual and other mystical practices that used to house what we now might describe as an artist, its important that we follow our intuition rather than give in to a system that routinely prevents us having access to basic resources like I want to be there for whoever is there when this period comes to end and those peoples are looking for anything to rudder them, whether or not I’m alive

☐☐☐☐☐ you want to add to the cultural record?

☍☍☍☍☍ I want provide a map for future generations is how I would put it

☐☐☐☐☐ mm how do you feel one can ensure the persistence of their own work? or are you just hoping it'll be around for others I suppose whether or not anything lasts is out of ur control past a certain point

☍☍☍☍☍ for one I make an effort to give away a lot of work

☐☐☐☐☐ mm

☍☍☍☍☍ I also store it all and make sure that that stockpile is kept w care but I also think there’s something to be said that I try and operate within many pre-existing canons I also it’s important to use the more meme-y, short stay work to bring attention to the slower works yeah, re: canons, like tanka and before that wakka as poetic forms stem back as far as a thousand years - perhaps more by putting myself in conversation with the ancients... idk it feels a bit like entering a cultural refrigerator haha

☐☐☐☐☐ mm

☍☍☍☍☍ sometimes I find it better to see my individual works as modules that make up a whole more prescient than its parts (Morton lolz) soo... maybe my work won’t carry the same weight until I finish, so to speak who knowsss but this how I think about it lol

☐☐☐☐☐ best to try and contribute something I spose rather than do nothing w ur resources

☍☍☍☍☍ I’m weird with this shit u don’t have to be

☐☐☐☐☐ mm it seems fairly simple to me and not that weird

☍☍☍☍☍ not everyone should spend their life tending their gravestone it’s a job for a particular type of person, and I am it

☐☐☐☐☐ but in a sense everyone does anyway everyone does things with the future in mind or without it in mind I suppose

☐☐☐☐☐ and i guess that influences what you leave when you die eheh, whether you do it consciously or unconsciously

☍☍☍☍☍ I just am particularly stubborn that I have something to offer - I think its partially a result of being denied that a lot in school, I found other ways to have social bonds that were more... non linear bonds with past peoples, and inadvertently bonds with future people

☐☐☐☐☐ mm

☍☍☍☍☍ I find it frustrating that its seen as arrogant to suggest your work should be read after you die - if anything its remarkably humble as I'm acknowledging that I will never properly see the fruits of my labour it's a ridiculously isolating position to find oneself in, where your best friends - books, music, content - have no form of human intimacy with you and completely defy all survivalistic, lizard-brain humanity plus you're just on a total different dimension from most people you meet

☐☐☐☐☐ mm you're in a very specific position here

☍☍☍☍☍ lol goodluck catching up ☼☼☼☼☼

☼☼☼☼☼ unrelated btw

(☼☼☼☼☼ posts a meme in chat)

☍☍☍☍☍ see y'all @ da rally (in reference to the meme)

☐☐☐☐☐ where and when is this? oh oops thought you meant a real one

☼☼☼☼☼ hahaha

☍☍☍☍☍ xD

☼☼☼☼☼ structurally is the meme ok ? took the photo the other day, and just added the text.

☍☍☍☍☍ yes are u going to weigh in on the conversation tho lol

☼☼☼☼☼ nah not really

☍☍☍☍☍ meme fine

☼☼☼☼☼ I have so little to add

☍☍☍☍☍ well hm why make memes? why not write novel? do memes have staying power?

☐☐☐☐☐ it's a question of what timescale is important to you at any given time maybe

☍☍☍☍☍ oh absolutely - not trying to infer a hierarchy here, I just think there are different approaches for different problems

☐☐☐☐☐ sometimes I'll say something to someone so they'll remember it for tomorrow, sometimes I'll say something to someone and hope they'll remember forever lol mm I don't think I care about staying power that much

☐☐☐☐☐ memes have such a short lifetime, they're like cultural mayflies haha

☼☼☼☼☼ Yeah defs

☍☍☍☍☍ why tho lol

☼☼☼☼☼ Because the art itself can date while still inspiring change

☍☍☍☍☍ yeah so using it pragmatically like a single use tissue

☼☼☼☼☼ If you create something short lived, it (with the help of other artists producing similar work) is able to push art and society in a specific direction The butterfly effect I guess

☍☍☍☍☍ it's true that you have more effect in the current conversation

☐☐☐☐☐ mm

☍☍☍☍☍ but that conversation draws intensively on a language formed by the ancients so the two are dependent on each other, a back and forth

☐☐☐☐☐ and that's dependent on their work's longevity?

☍☍☍☍☍ not following ur question

☐☐☐☐☐ not following your point haha hmm

☼☼☼☼☼ so you're suggesting a works longevity is crucial in that it helps reinforce and update the ancient language in which short term work of the future will be influenced by?

☐☐☐☐☐ mm also - what if of all the work you make, it's only a meme that survives the passage of time?

☍☍☍☍☍ basically... like you're just reiterating points that have been made more in depth in 'higher' brow culture - that's definitely how I feel when writing raps

☐☐☐☐☐ like Roman graffiti surviving on the walls or whatever

☍☍☍☍☍ did you a hear copy of the I Ching, the Chinese numerology classic more than a thousand years old, was found in the 70s and had a heap more sections and a different order? effectively completely changing the understanding of the I Ching gotta get those nice lead storage chambers ayyyyy ahahaha it was found buried in a coffin, obvs haha

☐☐☐☐☐ mm

☍☍☍☍☍ a lot of Chinese philosophers only exist in so much as someone else described them

☼☼☼☼☼ But what does that changing of contexts of that piece actually mean for us? Is updated Ching from the coffin helping us in any way?

☍☍☍☍☍ I think for me finding the I Ching and looking over it is like a person in a thousand years finding a functional iPhone it gives great insight into human impulses regardless of time and offers a way of writing the past a new, which in turn presents a new future (thinking of the cowboy article you sent me) reconceptualizing the past IS the future look at 'Make America Great Again' or calls to restore the caliphate both are founded on histories that have more to do with our current state than the actual happenings of the past

☼☼☼☼☼ I do see where you're coming from I like the idea that it's important to preserve our work for understand the past better And I hope that someone in the future will have a clearer understanding of our time through your well preserved works But what fucking future is it

☍☍☍☍☍ haha but like looking back we see people been asking that for a veeery long time I get it seems on a new scale but we're on a new scale too

☼☼☼☼☼ It does seem that yes Also if we do survive and keep on teching on

☍☍☍☍☍ I'm for an integration of the human/natural binary where we properly acknowledge our mutual codependency, the earth and humanity that is

☼☼☼☼☼ Are we even going to be translatable? Is the functioning iPhone found by the future person going to even be able to be translated? Or will it be meaningless because everyone is already part of the grid

☍☍☍☍☍ where artificially effecting the climate for the benefit of 'nature' isn't seen as strange but completely akin to Aboriginal burn back practices

☐☐☐☐☐ i guess it's productive to hope that it will be translatable

☍☍☍☍☍ we've always interfered in the running of nature

☐☐☐☐☐ mm

☍☍☍☍☍ ehhh idk we translated fucking hieroglyphics

☼☼☼☼☼ Or future tech can look into the past and someone is watching our lives as we type this now, constantly being understood through our context in a way we can't comprehend through our recording processes shrugs

☍☍☍☍☍ I mean yeah, imagine if the internet was even vaguely archived

☼☼☼☼☼ You probably have a better understanding of how the future will pan out than I do tho

☍☍☍☍☍ even if 0.1 % was kept, it would be a massive resource

☼☼☼☼☼ No sass intended there, I'm sincere

☍☍☍☍☍ lol idk I just try to see a bigger picture and it keeps me calm remember me old saying? we survived the plague and nukes lol

☼☼☼☼☼ I just don't see the issue with creating short term work, especially if it is preserved

☍☍☍☍☍ oh neither do I

☼☼☼☼☼ Like a meme may have more impact than a novel rn

☐☐☐☐☐ well it could be argued that we're yet to survive nukes but I see your point impact on various timescales

☼☼☼☼☼ I've heard the plague make be thinking of making a comeback too haha

☐☐☐☐☐ mm

☍☍☍☍☍ oh duh peasantry is fully hip rn

☐☐☐☐☐ but like

☍☍☍☍☍ bring back the boils, they look great with my Balenciaga sneakers

☐☐☐☐☐ lol bubonic chic

☼☼☼☼☼ Pretty close to heroin chic tbh haha

☍☍☍☍☍ not jking that was tb

☐☐☐☐☐ but like, I don't find a huge amount of solace in the fact that we survived the plague

☍☍☍☍☍ "The Victorians romanticized the disease and the effects it caused in the gradual build to death. For decades, many beauty standards emulated or highlighted these effects. And as scientists gained greater understanding of the disease and how it was spread, the disease continued to keep its hold on fashion. and the severity of the corsets was known to harm the lungs in such a way that would increase the likelihood of transmission LOOOL

☐☐☐☐☐ mm Balenciaga look out idk it's a question of what capacity we survive in

☼☼☼☼☼ lollllll

☐☐☐☐☐ quite depressing to think about

☍☍☍☍☍ eating disorders have a pretense

☐☐☐☐☐ what if ecocide leaves a few insular eco fascist regimes who gradually diminish over centuries always engaged in pointless wars of attrition with one another lol

☍☍☍☍☍ I mean you could probably say the same thing of colonial regimes now

☐☐☐☐☐ just because we can survive, doesn't mean my outlook should b at all rosy :((

☍☍☍☍☍ point is its a big ol' world that has plenty of room for pain AND love any future pain you think is imminent probably already is happening, and nonetheless breakfast tasted good this morning

☼☼☼☼☼ 'The hipster middle class would dress with raggedy beards and large jackets and refuse to use deodorant, perhaps to reflect the look of people suffering from homelessness at the time. It is suspected that this made them less likely to be hired, and therefore more likely to become homeless themselves.' ☍☍☍☍☍ ahahaha

☐☐☐☐☐ mm that's true hahhh

☼☼☼☼☼ Planning on making this into a full essay. Might not be popular now, but I think it has staying power? Soz for shitposting haha

☍☍☍☍☍ I was talking with ☲☲☲☲☲ a while back, and something struck me - she said, "I never thought this age would have its own fleet of particular medical conditions." (or something like that lol, translated via my nerd brain)

☼☼☼☼☼ Yeah that didn't quite sound like her But that sentiment is great

☍☍☍☍☍ 'fleet'

☼☼☼☼☼ In that ofc there is, but also wow yeah ofc!

☐☐☐☐☐ mmm hahh these conversations should be recorded so we can all think about em without scrolling up endlessly

☼☼☼☼☼ I do like the idea of people reading these works in the future tho

☐☐☐☐☐ and also so that they can be preserved for 10,000+ years of course

☼☼☼☼☼ In the same way we read the letters sent between dead artists now

☐☐☐☐☐ mm very true

☍☍☍☍☍ mmm

☐☐☐☐☐ messenger is not a particularly stable storage medium and also is more vulnerable to third party scrutiny although the fact we're reading artists letters now means that medium is also pretty fucking vulnerable to scrutiny lol

☍☍☍☍☍ I fucking found the word! (sorry was searching for it so hard) Neurasthenia https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neurasthenia

☼☼☼☼☼ Americanitis lol

☍☍☍☍☍ uhh the page doesn't rly talk about this, but its like a condition of over-working effectively, and people would try and get prescribed the pills to treat it as a way of signalling they were a dedicated worker its total hokey

☐☐☐☐☐ wow yeah you mentioned this a while back

☼☼☼☼☼ oh I've heard a similar thing in Japan were workers will pretend to fall asleep at their desks to show how hard they're working No idea the trust behind it tho

☍☍☍☍☍ to this day, "In Japan, shinkei-suijaku is treated with Morita therapy involving mandatory rest and isolation, followed by progressively more difficult work, and a resumption of a previous social role. The diagnosis is sometimes used as a disguise for serious mental illnesses such as schizophrenia and mood disorders." a dignified mental illness uwu none of that lower class shit I'm a classy fuck with money, I don't get the same mental conditions as the poor lolol reminds me of now: I don't have shitty parents, I just have adhd (not to deligitimise all uses of adhd, just over diagnosed)

☼☼☼☼☼ mmmmm i feel u yes this has been a wild ride

☍☍☍☍☍ yes I’m leaving to get late lunch uwu have a good day in this cosmic spider web lololol

☼☼☼☼☼ :')

☍☍☍☍☍ Like the burning of this charcoal fire, our years too will soon expire Kobayashi Issa listening to Krista Tippet talk with Maria Popova, this particular phrase resonated with our conversation: we live in a world where disruption over-fetishised; we need cultural stewardship to help along new waves of disruption

☼☼☼☼☼ How would u define cultural stewardship in a practical sense?

☍☍☍☍☍ caring for the legacy of those past as a means of refreshing their insight for a new age a very straightforward example would b the importance of new translations, in this regard - as our understanding and depth of connection to Japanese society has deepened, so too have our translations dusting off the books so to speak in some sense I see that in our music too or reappropriating to a new context

☼☼☼☼☼ Well remasters are a time terry literal example Fuck

☍☍☍☍☍ time terry

☼☼☼☼☼ Pretty* not time terry lol

☼☼☼☼☼ lime berry yeah exactly

☼☼☼☼☼ Slime Jerry

☍☍☍☍☍ I mean rereleasing is an obvs example mhm but more abstract examples are how I’ve exported into both your brains Bridle/Steyerl/Haraway via conversation and art lolol I’m helping it move from one place to another same w Zappa lol

☐☐☐☐☐ also - looking after artist friends being generous I feel these are acts of pre-emptive cultural stewardship

☍☍☍☍☍ haha yeah definitely different time scales it could function on

☐☐☐☐☐ looking after and maintain communities

☍☍☍☍☍ hosting open mics lol helping teach ppl poetry lollll

☐☐☐☐☐ not allowing hate speech to creep into open mics lol

☼☼☼☼☼ Truuuuu Or anywhere for that matter

☐☐☐☐☐ not becoming so dusty that you actually have a detrimental impact on cultural progression

☍☍☍☍☍ I think religions only exist in so far as they have active practitioners

☐☐☐☐☐ mm

☼☼☼☼☼ Tru

☍☍☍☍☍ I think my sense is, in religion, this same argument plays out with orthodoxy versus mysticism Maintenance of buildings is in there too for religion People being assigned paid positions as the keepers and givers of religious knowledge oh yeah thinking a lot here of Shanzai, ☐☐☐☐☐, and the idea of an object as a lived practice

☐☐☐☐☐ when home I'm gonna do my best to archive this conversation mmm

☍☍☍☍☍ you’re going to steward our conversation bout stewardship ...

☐☐☐☐☐ this is all going in

☍☍☍☍☍ ...the tv where I am says “The comedian getting behind ‘Know Thy Nuts’” and there are big walnuts on the screen

☐☐☐☐☐ ???????

☍☍☍☍☍ “I didn’t realise chemotherapy would be such great comedic material!”

☐☐☐☐☐ ¿¿¿¿¿¿

☼☼☼☼☼ Huhhhh

☍☍☍☍☍ lol highly recommend https://itunes.apple.com/au/podcast/on-being-with-krista-tippett/id150892556?mt=2&i=1000429408054https://itunes.apple.com/au/podcast/on-being-with-krista-tippett/id150892556?mt=2&i=1000429408054

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communistrupture · 8 years ago

Text

Anti-Trump United Front

By Gregory W

This piece will highlight some forms of struggle that have become important since the election of Trump, and which appear to be interfering with the new administration’s attempts to unilaterally set the agenda. I am selecting a few examples that could help us think through types of resistance and how those are shaping-up currently. I will focus on efforts within the U.S., while briefly discussing emerging international opposition.

My concern is to get a sense of the overall dynamics of the conjuncture, so that those of us committed to a revolutionary left project—to communism, in whatever sense—can think about the strategic possibilities opened up by the rise of Trump and the global insurgent right. The question is: How might a revolutionary left orient itself to emerging mass movements with the goals of

1. Encouraging the broadest possible unity of popular forces to defeat the far right, and

2. Locating those forces likely to push furthest, creating the basis for a politics that breaks with the parameters of the neoliberal era

Framing the conjuncture

From the outset, we should insist on framing the current situation within the long-term processes of neoliberalism. Some—like those in the Democratic Party establishment—will speak about the dangers of Trump as if he were a total aberration within a basically sound political system. This interpretation is implicit in much of the discourse, e.g., statements that the Muslim Ban “goes against everything America stands for.”

It is important to unite with people in their efforts to resist Trump, while thinking critically about how we articulate problems. We should be clear that Trump and the global insurgent right share deep continuities with the preceding political trajectories (e.g., the Bush-era War on Terror, Obama’s drone assassination program and record deportations), while also representing a massive new threat. The open alliance with ethno-nationalist forces is especially alarming; this is an emergency situation, long in the making.

The very fact that previously-fringe forces of reaction are taking center stage speaks to the severity of the situation. Samir Amin has recently argued that these are “all manifestations of the depth of the crisis of the system of globalized neoliberalism” which is “imploding before our very eyes.” Whether or not the neoliberal order as we know it is coming to an end, we are witnessing a massive geopolitical shake-up characterized by uncertainty, worthy of the designation interregnum.

* * *

“…everybody recognises that the war of 1914-18 represents an historical break, in the sense that a whole series of questions which piled up individually before 1914 have precisely formed a ‘mound,’ modifying the general structure of the previous process.” – Antonio Gramsci, Notes on Italian History

The contradictions of the previous period have piled-up in a novel way, and in a way that is very obvious. In that regard, it may be useful to look back at other ruptural moments. A salient example from U.S. history is the consolidation of the Confederacy as a discrete political, economic, and military entity in 1861. This process concentrated the most thoroughly-rotten elements of the existing society, producing a new formation that was dangerous yet vulnerable—vulnerable because it was something that could be, and was, struck down.

There are major differences between the lead-up to the U.S. Civil War and the current period. But it seems that—in well-earned fashion—the Trump administration now represents the most glaring excesses of racism, xenophobia, misogyny, and anti-LGBTQ sentiment. They are also poised to unleash an onslaught against workers and obstruct any attempts to deal with the ecological crisis. The massive anti-Trump protests indicate that many people perceive this exemplary rottenness. The radical left could benefit from the fact that the forces of reaction have concentrated in such a stark way; add to that the deficiencies demonstrated by the Trump administration and we may discern a strategic advantage.

Consider that George W. Bush went into office with a far more sophisticated inner circle. These neoconservatives had experience, connections, and a coherent intellectual basis, exemplified by the detailed policy designs of the Project for a New American Century. The climate of fear which prevailed in the years following the 9/11 terrorist attacks also made opposition difficult. Trump’s administration, by contrast, appears isolated and brittle.

* * *

From a communist standpoint, we should, again, work to achieve the broadest possible unity of popular forces in the fight against Trump. We should do this with the aim of consolidating a new societal consensus that rejects racism, xenophobia, complacency about inequality, and all of the other problems exemplified by the regime. Obviously, this has existed to a significant degree already, but we have the opportunity to re-build that consensus on a stronger foundation, and to push further than before. In order for that to happen, it seems necessary that there be near-constant waves of militant mass mobilizations capable of striking major blows.

Our goal would also be to create a strong revolutionary pole within that milieu. It seems unlikely that any of the existing left organizations in the U.S., leftover from the upsurges of past decades, would be able to balloon in size and play a leading role in the period ahead. In the U.S., the organizational far left is made up of small sects. This presents a situation very different from that of India, for example, which has a mass communist movement (including a growing Maoist insurgency), which stands a chance of dramatically shaping events if the ruling regime were destabilized.

It is difficult to plan a way forward in the U.S. context. On the other hand, one possible reading of the ongoing mass protests is that the U.S. left has come a long way in the years since the Occupy movement (still largely outside the bounds of the older revolutionary organizations).

To recap: Black Lives Matter has emerged as a consistently militant mass movement with an impressive duration. The indigenous resistance at Standing Rock may be the most acute confrontation with the repressive forces of capital and the state that the U.S. has seen in decades. The national prison strike of 2016 represented a major breakthrough. Ideologically, many things seem to have cohered through online discourse (i.e., things have been tried out over a significant period of time, and the “social justice warrior” generation is coming of age). Growing numbers of millennials have favorable views of socialism and communism, and conversely, unfavorable views of capitalism.

If there is a possibility for building the foundations for a revolutionary movement over the coming period, those who identify with such a project will have to connect up with the most radical edge of the emerging mass forces, engage in a process of fusion, and attempt to push beyond the existing parameters.

I will not attempt to explore the organizational forms that a new revolutionary movement would require. For now, I will say that most resistance which has occurred historically, and is occurring now, in the U.S., tends to push things in the orbit of liberalism and the Democratic Party. Currently, there is no significant, alternate center of gravity. That is the hard problem facing any would-be revolutionaries. Nevertheless, there is no way to answer the question of building a revolutionary movement if we assume that every tendency toward mass movement is simply liberalism, because then there is no way to dig in and find a fault line that would constitute a starting point; and at any rate the revolutionary people must themselves be forged in the struggles ahead.

Promising examples of resistance

1. Protest at the site of policy implementation

The response to Trump’s executive order banning entry from seven Muslim-majority countries was swift. Protesters poured into airports in the days following the order. The response in major cities was unsurprising. But we should note the sheer scope of the mobilizations, which included many cities not usually known for protest.

In San Francisco, demonstrators actually blocked all security entrance points at the FSO international terminal. Seeing militant direct action so early during Trump’s term is suggestive. We may expect increasingly-militant action (and popular receptiveness to that) – a tendency not just to protest at the sites of policy implementation, but to disrupt. We should think in advance about how disruption can be carried out in the future. It is possible that similar tactics can be used around other policy areas, e.g., deportation.

2. Economic Boycotts

The New York Taxi Workers Alliance called a strike during protests in New York. As Uber continued to offer service, a #DeleteUber campaign went viral. Uber was compelled to respond. Over the coming days, Uber CEO, Travis Kalanick, denounced the immigration ban in increasingly stronger terms, set up a $3m legal defense fund for affected drivers, and left Trump’s Economic Advisory Council.

The case of Uber sets a precedent that companies which are seen as collaborating with the regime could face major losses. Because of the swiftness with which this unfolded, we can speculate that economic boycotts may prove to be an effective tactic. The mood in Silicon Valley, which is known for being diverse, is overall hostile to Trump. At any rate, we should watch how the bourgeoisie respond to pushes in a neo-fascist direction, and use all tools at our disposal to prevent the formation of a pro-fascist bourgeois bloc. Though recent overtures of resistance from major companies suggest that there is significant—and perhaps growing—discontent among the bourgeoisie.

3. Disrupting sympathetic, extra-regime forces

Debate continues about the threat of the Alt-Right (an internet-based reactionary milieu, containing significant white supremacist currents). According to some analyses, the Alt-Right is relatively fragile. Nevertheless, the movement has gained significant public exposure at a time when the far right is resurging internationally, and no doubt played some role in Trump’s election. Steven Bannon is now the Chief Advisor to the president. This is a man who headed Breitbart News, which Bannon himself described as “a platform for the alt-right.”

Some sectors of the left (e.g. Antifa organizations) maintain that the appropriate response to white supremacists and neo-fascists is to radically disrupt their activities, denying them a platform by whatever means. This tactic was used when Milo Yiannopoulos attempted to speak at UC Berkley.

An active subset of protesters engaged in property destruction, with damage being reported on the campus and at 15 businesses downtown. Debate has raged across the political spectrum about these actions, including on the far left. It remains to be seen how these kinds of actions will be received over the long-term. However, we may acknowledge that the protesters—including those who engaged in property damage—accomplished their immediate goal of shutting down Yiannopoulos’ talk. The Berkley example will inform decisions made by Alt-Right and related figures regarding public activity, one way or another.

4. Sowing the seeds of a new armed left

The right-wing militia movement has grown in recent years. In 2016, the Southern Poverty Law Center identified 276 militia groups, which is a 37% increase from 2014 (202). The 2016 occupation of a national wildlife reserve headquarters in Oregon garnered significant media attention. Dramatically, armed militants led by rancher Ammon Bundy held the site for over a month.

It is clear that there is nothing comparable on the left, which today lacks even the basic gun culture typical of the right. Nevertheless, there are some signs of a left-wing gun culture developing in the U.S.

In the immediate aftermath of Trump’s victory, articles appeared reporting minorities buying guns in record numbers. After white supremacist Dylann Roof massacred 9 African Americans at the Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church in Charleston, South Carolina (June 17, 2015), one activist and blogger launched the #WeWillShootBack campaign, which trended in 2016; admittedly this was prior to Trump’s election, but perhaps part of an interrelated set of processes. Although much of the media attention has focused on African Americans and armed self-defense, it should also be noted that the Pink Pistols—a national organization “dedicated to the legal, safe, and responsible use of firearms for self-defense of the sexual-minority community”—has also reported recent growth. As of February 6, 2017, the organization has 45 chapters across the U.S.

5. The women’s march

Before considering anything else it should be stressed how large this protest was. Much attention focused on the Washington D.C. march, but some researchers have estimated that demonstrations were held in 654 U.S. towns and cities, with over four million marchers. These same researchers estimate that there were over 300,000 demonstrators abroad. This was the day after Trump’s inauguration. There are claims that this was the largest protest in U.S. history. Whether it was the absolute largest, it was undeniably big, and is likely to be seen as historic in years to come.

The size of the march suggests that various conceptions of women’s liberation will play a major role in the struggles ahead. As with other areas, the rise of Trump does epitomize certain things—in this case the most misogynistic currents in present society. With good reason, Trump himself is seen as particularly sexist, and it is clear that sexist currents are a major component of the Alt-Right (e.g., Milo Yiannopoulos’ history of attacking feminists), as well as other sectors of Trump’s base, such as white evangelicals.

The women’s march also comes at a time when women’s rights have been substantially under attack. Much of the focus has been on the anti-abortion political bloc’s attempts to disrupt funding to Planned Parenthood, which provides abortions among other health services. We may reasonably assume that this fight will continue to intensify and that a resurgent global feminist movement will be necessary not only to combat Trump, but also to build a new revolutionary left.

6. Exploiting the fracturing of the state

The Trump administration has not yet demonstrated an ability to build bridges to effectively leverage the state bureaucracy. In fact, the failure in this regard has constituted a key feature of the regime so far.

We have seen “rogue” government agency Twitter accounts (the National Parks Service, NASA, and EPA); a showdown between the administration and the U.S. Deputy Attorney General, Sally Yates, over implementation of the immigration ban; polemics between the administration and municipal governments and even the Los Angeles Police Department.

If this pattern continues, we may see an increasing fracturing of the state. That is to say, the state’s relative tendency to coalesce in its effects and overall functioning may break down, as various levels of the bureaucracy pursue diverging agendas. We are used to seeing deadlock between the Democratic and Republican parties in terms of passing legislation, and so on. But the pattern emerging under Trump (agencies in open contradiction), suggests a new dynamic.

Resistance may often take the form of intervening at some of these sites of fracturing. For example, if the administration moves to up the ante on deportations and a city’s sanctuary status is jeopardized, it would be necessary for movement forces to focus in there, creating massive, disruptive pressure for the municipal government and involved agencies to refuse compliance. Such interventions would arguably have a high chance of success, compared to interventions against federal action conceived broadly, and would also provide experience to build up movement capacity.

7. International opposition

Resistance to Trump has not been confined to the U.S. We can expect that if the administration continues its current trajectory, international opposition will grow, especially considering the important role that the U.S. continues to play internationally—even if the U.S.’ hegemonic position is slipping as a multipolar set-up emerges. Something like the international anti-Apartheid movement could develop.

At a recent African Union summit, A.U. Commission chair, Nkosazana Dlamini-Zuma, strongly criticized the Trump administration’s immigration ban, framing the current policy within the history of colonization and slavery: “The very country to which many of our people were taken as slaves during the transatlantic slave trade has now decided to ban refugees from some of our countries.”

Likewise, the House of Commons Speaker in the U.K. Parliament, John Bercow, is attempting to block Trump from speaking in Westminster during his upcoming state visit.

Bercow’s maneuver comes amid anti-Trump protests across the country. This fact is significant for us. As far as the radical left is concerned, our primary orientation to international resistance must be to link up with mass forces abroad, increasing our understanding of shared struggles and developing movement cooperation. Trump has become a focal point not only for activists within the U.S. but abroad—also to the extent that comparable scenarios are playing out elsewhere, for example, in Brazil, where a radical austerity regime is attempting to dismantle the social safety net.

Another point to consider is that the Trump administration’s performance is a de facto test case for the insurgent right, globally. These forces have been able to gain discursive support. Both Brexit and the election of Trump, however, are giving them a chance to become real players. It is not clear to what extent Trump, for example, will be able to steer the U.S. government and popular perception. But it is likely that Trump’s performance will have some bearing on the future careers of insurgent right politicians such as Marine Le Pen.

#Trump #Marxism #communism #revolution #united front

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a-smol-bean-friend · 5 years ago

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Whatever style you are using you can add these shortcodes to obtain all the social share features you need to have viral post. 14– WP CAPTURE INQUIRY (Worth $97)– Absolutely nothing beats targeted traffic since this will certainly convert effectively compared to any various other kinds of website traffic. The huge concern is, exactly how are you going to iron out those visits to your site? The quick response to that question are surveys. As well as that’s what WP Squeeze Inquiry Plugin works.

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jaquelineburkhart · 5 years ago

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Click&Leads Review – Click & Leads Review

Click & Leads Review Evaluation! What’s inside Click & Leads? If you’re trying to find a fast way of getting heaps of fresh, all set to buy something leads - this is the software for you. It’s straightforward and also Super Powerful. Envision this - when you upload something on Facebook (anything - also other individuals’s videos), whoever will click your message, gets contributed to your e-mail checklist As Well As your Facebook target market! They do not require to opt-in, they don’t need to allow - none of it. If they Click - you obtain the Lead - that’s all there is to it! There’s a variety of ways you can re-use other individuals’s blog posts and video clips to get the leads - so you don’t even need any content of your very own. This is HUGE! Enjoy my complete review as well as emo for details - this set is a video game changer for certain. Click & Leads Evaluation - do you understand just how much do you normally require to pay for 1 lead? Depending upon how you get it it’s anywhere from $0.25 to $2 - for ONE e-mail lead. Naturally the more details you get regarding the lead, the much more costly it is as well as it can go as high as $40 per lead! Currently, you know what’s fantastic concerning Click & Leads? You don’t have to pay ANYTHING - you obtain all the leads for complimentary! Another remarkable point is that you do not need to stress about opt-in rates. If you get a 100 click solo advertisement as well as only 40 individuals opt-in - you’ve essentially averted 60 possible clients. It’s a Massive waste of loan … well, with Click & Leads you don’t have to fret about that as 100% of individuals that click your blog posts are immediately contributed to your checklist - as well as your FB audience as well, so you can re-target them with advertisements. To be completely sincere - I really did not also recognize that this is feasible … and I was blown away when I saw this software in activity. Fail to remember any type of various other resource of website traffic - this is it! When you have your checklist, you have free web traffic forever, whenever you desire it. As well as obviously, this functions in any particular niche - you’re selecting the messages and also video clips to begin with, so these can be regarding anything. You do not even require to pay to scale this up - if you intend to get more leads, you basically up another post - it’s constantly totally free! Your days of battling with gettign leads as well as traffic are over - this application resolves it all for you and what’s also crazier is that you can get it for a single price - no regular monthly payments, no recurring charges, nothing like that - yet hurry since it’s just during the launch period. If you’re appreciating this Click & Leads Review and also intend to learn more concerning Click & Leads, have a look at my in depth video evaluation above!

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royal-red-asks · 6 years ago

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Never Underestimate The Influence Of SEO 2019

Good SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION articles increase a website's SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION traffic because articles are listed online. 55 The difference from SEO is the majority of simply depicted as the distinction between paid and unpaid concern ranking searching results. I get into much more detail in SEO Titles on pages: 15-Point Checklist for B2B and B2C Brands, which explains how one can work in relevant keywords that will accurately reflect the page articles. Are good nevertheless SEO potential may be reduced in comparison to single links. The training behind our SEO expertise had been developed from years and yrs of learning from mistakes marketing and advertising with our other businesses. Our own in-depth guide contains the most recent SEO best practices so a person can improve how your content appears in search results, plus get more traffic, leads, plus sales. Keyword analysis definitely belongs to the SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION basics. I'll start by stating that social mass media and SEO are heavily linked to each other. Black head wear SEO attempts to improve search positions in ways that are disapproved of by search engines, or even involve deception. This particular is more tedious and tasking than inorganic SEO because this particular is how all the key phrases get a full blast associated with attention. SEO: It stands for Research Engine Optimization. Within this post, we will break this down in the complete first timers guide to SEO: what SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION is, how it works, exactly what factors affect search and exactly what sorts of changes you may make today to improve your own search optimization. The no follow hyperlink has been contradicted many occasions over where SEO is included and it depends on the particular web owner concerning if these people allow them on the web site or not. While her business, web traffic, in addition to customer base grow, Sue can require some outside support regarding keeping her SEO on monitor so she can certainly still sell the particular best shoes on the obstruct. Whilst links continue to be essential and it's incredibly difficult in order to rank well without links through other websites, content and on-page SEO has become increasingly essential. For businesses searching to raise their search search positions, what this means is that will a comprehensive social media technique could be in order - within addition to all of the particular usual SEO tactics. Because of criteria changes and the trend in order to more local searches, it actually is no longer an huge cost to implement good SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION. Whether you're killing it along with SEO, or struggling to split Blog9T the very first page, a good SEO audit may help give your own rankings a shot within the particular arm. According to web marketing experts, the impact associated with AI and Voice Browse SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION can be expected in 2019 after that. Gowns it. If you'd like in order to speak to us about a good SEO campaign, or even multilingual SEO marketing and keyword analysis then get in touch associated with just start a live conversation if we're around. Moreover, Google will keep on to elevate the importance associated with usability and technical SEO aspects, like site security, page velocity, mobile friendliness, and navigability. As a consultant, this individual has helped many different businesses—including, Lonely Planet, Zillow, Tower Information, and literally countless medium plus small businesses—with SEO and online-marketing advice.

A reputable SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION company carries on together with your Company Profile and then do these profile building and then Regional Business Listing Optimization. Our first five steps had been dedicated to on-page SEO techniques Link-building is the primary goal of off-page SEO, and is definitely also an enormous factor within how search engines rank your own web pages. So far since I know, this only functions for HTML or CSS web pages - I don't go very much for Flash websites, and We am unsure how that cookware out regarding search engines plus SEO. In fact, a large part of SEO in 2018 is writing for humans PLUS search engines (also known because: SEO copywriting”). SEO is the significant part of any web marketing strategy. Canonical: This connect to handles content syndication, which basically allows other blogs to post your job (similar to franchising) without having hurting your website's SEO ranking—simply with the addition of a rel=canonical can obtain your brand and content out there on the web in several outlets, ensuring a greater get to and bigger audience without harming your own search results. We are usually offering affordable search engine marketing SEO services to clients throughout the globe. If you want the strong social media strategy, a person simply can't ignore SEO. Another SEO-related plugin, W3 Total Cache is used to boost the performance of your Wp blog or a website simply by integrating features such as content material delivery networks to be capable to reduce the loading periods for your pages. The much better you get at SEO, the particular more traffic - and even more leads - you're likely in order to attract over time. To find out there more read our 2019 styles in SEO marketing report. Are voice searches plus it's expected that by 2019, 67 million voice-assisted devices will be going to be in make use of in the U. S. These types of kinds of changes and provide on your website shouldn't become a problem logistically — the particular overall practice among the greatest web companies nowadays is making sure that websites are flexible sufficient, especially for SEO purposes. Whether you are usually a marketer, webmaster or organization owner, it is very significant invest in voice SEO marketing to reap benefits in 2019. We said earlier that sociable media isn't a direct SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION ranking factor, so you're most likely wondering why we're even talking about it. The particular effects of Black hat SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION are temporary, keep in mind that take the particular search engine long before this spots these illegal strategies plus then penalizes you; the lookup engine may spam your hyperlinks and if you continue making use of these malpractices the search motor will altogether block your web site and links. Algorithmic chasers, technical SEOs, plus Google Doodle followers should develop their technical skills to concentrate on emerging voice search systems and AI applications. Single Grain is a electronic marketing agency in order in order to companies like Uber, Amazon plus Salesforce grow their revenues on the internet using SEO and paid marketing.

The number 1 reason for using video upon your site to improve SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION is to increase the quantity of time users remain upon your site. Search engine optimization had been but still is fascinating in order to me. The SEO placement with regard to any size business begins along with proper web site optimization, a good excellent link building strategy plus a well planned online advertising plan. One section of focus for higher marketing and SEO performance within 2018 is the confluence associated with content, influence, and social. This can be helpful for SEO, because it helps avoid search engine crawlers from becoming confused by syntax or acceptance errors, and leads to even more accurate indexing. Stop thinking in terms associated with SEO vs. content marketing” plus start exploring how well these people perform together. (Give it a try tone of voice search using OK Google through your cell phone and enquire "What Is BlowFish SEO" ) When all remains as it is definitely, Google will read out loud just about all about my company in the short to the point method, These cards are formatted in order to fit the screen of your own cell with no scrolling upward or down. Although SEO is really the time-consuming process but believes myself, if you work well along with dedication and trendy techniques, the particular combined results of on-page plus off-page SEO holds you upon the top with rank #1 for a specific search outcome. Fairly lately, I've seen a resurgence associated with on-page SEO factors making the difference searching engine rankings.

If a person's business does not have SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION Internet marketing strategies, she or even he will need help through SEO experts. One of the particular most commonly asked questions, White colored hat SEO in layman's vocabulary is applying the right strategies along with a legal technique to boost your ranking plus increase your popularity. To help our own client's future-proof their businesses plus maximize online Return on Purchase (ROI), we have individuals the global partners to develop a good SEO methodology that aligns along with Google's recommended best practices. Off-page SEO will assist make your website most well-known and visible on the internet, so you can get even more traffic and users for your own website and product. You might be the proprietor of a growing and growing business, the webmaster of the dozen sites, the SEO expert in the Web agency or the DIY SEO ninja passionate regarding the mechanics of Search: this particular guide is meant for a person. On their business blog, Demand Wave also provides a great article about 2016's tops trends in B2B electronic marketing and SEO. A few explore some roles that cultural media plays in SEO. You will craft your own SEO strategy around the key phrases that will lead customers in order to your most profitable products. Google for example, states that will the no follow link end up being taken literally as well because the link will not become followed at all however within reports done for SEO reasons it shows some conflict in order to this. There are usually lots of ways to discover keywords for SEO. SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION article writing guidelines number two. Keywords, they are little concealed subliminal messages within the composing which are to be within conjunction with the topic which usually is being written on. Key phrases are extremely important to the particular SEO article writing guidelines. SEO is often component of an overall internet marketing and advertising strategy and complements other methods like social media marketing, content material marketing and more. The conference brought together thirty-six speakers, 15 sponsors and above 1500 of the search industry's brightest and the best regarding search for a day regarding actionable SEO advice and industry leading content. A principal benefit associated with SEO is its cost-effectiveness because This Year Will Be The Year of SEO 2019 there is no payment toward the search engine for getting placed within it. This is definitely very important for the 'search head', high volume low objective searches that are expensive within paid search. In 2019, I believe that will Google will continue to press paid search ads and declare the majority of the over the fold organic SERP. Since, paying a search motor to put your business web site at the top of the list doesn't come cheap, the particular next smartest thing one may do is to use research engine optimization or SEO methods to increase the clicks toward the website and help this work its way up the particular search engine's results page. If you are nevertheless sticking with old SEO criteria strategies and searching optimized key word for the article, Sorry! Here's a true statement a person hear as often: Your SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION technique for 2018 shouldn't concentrate on keywords. (1888PressRelease) Packet Marketing, a Boston-based, full-service SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION and internet marketing firm today announces they have been positioned as the number five SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION firm in the 2010 Advertising World Top ten SEO Firm Award initiative. According to Forrester Analysis, the number of global mobile phone subscribers is expected to achieve 3. 5 billion by 2019, crossing the 50% mark regarding smartphone penetration by 2018, plus reaching 59% by 2019. On-page SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION ensures that your site can be read by both possible customers and search engine automated programs. In 2019, voice-search will become the dominant way that individuals search. But SEO is all regarding the organic” rankings, which show up in the middle of the particular search results page. The most important SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION factor for creating high-quality content material is doing good keyword study. Protocol changes in 2018 seem in order to centre on reducing the effectiveness of old-school SEO techniques, along with the May 2015 Google ‘Quality' protocol update bruisingly familiar. Keep in mind in SEO article writing suggestions you keywords have to create sense too. Domain Authority within SEO is a rank that will measures how popular and reliable search engines call at your own website. If the terms you might be hoping to rank with regard to don't display on the page, this will be much more difficult to achieve your goals : making on-page optimization a essential part of most SEO advertisments.

It's maybe not an ideal SEO page title because of the multiple distinct services, however the structure might give rise to rankings for some long-tail keyword phrases. SEOs will have to collaborate carefully with designers and developers in order to prioritize technical SEO and functionality search engine ranking factors to achieve a competitive edge. Further SEO Smart hyperlinks allows you to set upward your own personal keywords and set associated with matching URLs. In the event that search engine optimization SEO will not involve ethical practices, the particular website may have low presence on Google or maybe be taken out from the Google index. An SEO technique will be considered white hat if this conforms to the search engines' guidelines and involves no deceptiveness. As an SEO, which indicates that you have to considerably raise your standards around high quality content and links in purchase to achieve top search motor rankings. Most SEO focuses on customizing for Google's search engine, which usually dominates the overall search marketplace with a share of more than 90%. 7. Social indicators may even become more essential to SEO as time passes. Solitary Grain is really a electronic marketing agency that helps businesses like Uber, Amazon and Salesforce grow their revenues online making use of SEO plus paid advertising. This will certainly be a growth chance intended for content marketing-specific agencies and the necessary and justified budget series item for in-house SEO groups. SEO includes both technical and creative components needed to improve rankings, drive visitors, and increase awareness in research engines. But definitely, the acronym many people ask about is SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION, or search engine optimization. Between this plus 2017's Best SEO Campaign honor from the UK Search Honours, it's clear the world is definitely starting to recognize Elephate since one of the most reliable SEO and Content Marketing organizations in Europe. To understand how SEO functions to improve search rankings, we will have to break it lower a little. Whichever way you choose in order to categorize keywords, one of the particular most important steps in SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION does keyword research. Some good examples of White Hat SEO consist of optimizing META tags, putting key phrases in URLs, submitting sites in order to directories, making sitemaps, obtaining hyperlinks on related sites, and developing keyword-optimized content. An SEO Executive optimizes sites to generate them show up increased on search engines like search engines and gain more website site visitors. Nevertheless, the fresh trend in SEO is ideal for long-tail keywords and even more conversational searches. SEO is the great marketing tool for the particular websites promoting their businesses on the internet. Still, the keyword element of SEO is becoming progressively difficult with Google Adwords concealing volume data. Making use of advanced Search engines semantic search algorithms, we link the gap between old college SEO and the new articles marketing. Tug has been appointed solely to roll out a multi-lingual internet marketing campaign using its knowledge in international SEO and PAY-PER-CLICK. Keyword studies about obtaining those terms so that a person can use them properly within content optimization and SEO within general. Just as content by yourself isn't enough to guarantee SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION success, SEO alone isn't good enough to ensure that people may find and engage with your own articles. While intense SEO may involve complex site restructuring along with a firm (or consultant) that will specializes in this area, presently there are a few simple methods you can take yourself in order to raise your search engine ranking. Because we prepare to enter 2019, keyword creation for SEO experts will become less important. Obtain the training you need in order to stay ahead with expert-led programs on Seo (SEO). Learn how to create articles, learn how to create some simple HTML, and the particular learn the very basic concepts of SEO, and you may make money online using SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION and article marketing to obtain your web site (you only require one from each website) detailed on Page #1 of Search engines (forget Yahoo as well because the rest) and you will certainly get loads of visitors that will web page. If your website is usually made up of lower-quality threshold type pages using old SEO-techniques (which more and more branded as spam in 2018) after that Google will not index just about all of the pages as nicely as your website ‘quality score' is probably likely to end up being negatively impacted. This particular is beyond website content, but great user experience has become a lot more and more important in solid SEO rankings. Businesses with multiple websites and SEO-agencies can set up report themes. Its search engine marketing group provides expertise in Pay-per-click marketing services, organic SEO and interpersonal media optimisation. The particular ads that you often discover on various web pages demonstrated and those that also show up on the rightmost side associated with search engine results are inorganic SEO examples. While I nevertheless see this trend in have fun with with many enterprises still within the midst of their electronic transformation, the convergence in the particular MarTech space is creating numerous synergies and opportunities and this particular should be seen as the welcome development for brands plus agencies who are looking intended for an edge in regards in order to their SEO driven content marketing and advertising or outreach strategies. Along with the only complete certainty that SEO's, Website owners may have a lot of adjustments to make to internet sites under their care in the particular mobile and voice search surroundings. The basics of GOOD SEO hasn't changed for years - even though effectiveness of particular elements offers certainly narrowed or changed within type of usefulness - a person should still be focusing upon building a simple site making use of VERY simple SEO best practices - don't perspiration the small stuff, while all-the-time paying attention to the essential stuff - add plenty of unique PAGE TITLES and lots associated with new ORIGINAL CONTENT. Keyword research will be THE first step of any kind of SEO campaign. Because it turns out, there's more in order to on-page SEO than optimizing with regard to keywords. Search engines motor optimization (organic SEO) describes the particular methods used to obtain the high placement (or ranking) upon a search engine results web page in unpaid, algorithm-driven results upon the given search engine. Also, videos include a lot of untapped possible - great for SEO and even make for good user wedding. The really best SEO expert 2019 can tell you for High-End mobile devices, we're seeing more format changes to focus, provide the better experience, search results. Social SEO is especially helpful for online reputation administration. It isn't just the approach that Google ranks optimized content material, but the way that these people rank poorly constructed or taboo content that will push your own ranking to where it should to be in 2019. Ray Cheselka, SEO & Google adwords Manager at SEO and style agency, webFEAT Complete, predicts that will sites with over a 2 second load time will end up being penalized, and search intent is usually going to still grow within importance. SEO consists of ordering the site's architecture and hyperlinks to make pages inside the particular website easier to find plus navigate. In contrast, articles that no one is humming about have minimal effect upon social SEO. They are usually generally knowledgeable within the are usually of both SEO and content material marketing. When it arrives to reviews, customers work as a good army of link builders plus keyword writers so your SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION structure is shaped without a person having to lift a ring finger.

You may generally see outcomes of SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION efforts once the webpage proceeds to be crawled and listed by a internet search motor. Most likely the best form of cultural media to pay attention in order to when turning to SEO is definitely Google Plus. A single of the most successful techniques to ensure your clients locate your photography business is by means of implementing an SEO strategy, this particular is more than just producing it to number 1 upon Google, it means ensuring that will a varied and steady steady stream of traffic is planning to your site, over and even above that of your competition. If you are usually willing to improvise your internet site search and boost up your own Google ranking, but do not really have time or resources with regard to doing that, hire an SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION specialist for the same objective. Mobile SEO will be mobile search engine optimization or even optimizing content for a much better search ranking. Titles on pages and explanations affect what people see within search results, so it's important to check these out within any SEO audit. Search motors give some guidelines for SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION, but big search engines maintain result ranking as a industry secret. Along with $80 billion forecast to turn out to be spent annually on SEO — and content marketing set to be able to be considered a $300+ billion industry by simply 2019 — it might become tempting for stakeholders to observe SEO and content marketing while cost centers rather than earnings centers. While that will theory is sound (when concentrated on a single page, when the particular intent is to deliver power content to a Google user) using old school SEO methods on especially a large web site spread out across many web pages seems to amplify site high quality problems, after recent algorithm modifications, and so this type associated with optimisation without keeping track associated with overall site quality is self-defeating in the long run. The traditional technique to SEO has been devoted to creating excellent content that will is easily searchable via research engine bots. To realize SEO, you'll also need in order to know how Google search functions. 2019 can still use many of these types of newly implemented tactics, but look for engine optimization experts are in addition suggesting there will be a great deal more. Currently more than half associated with searches account for mobile gadgets, and the number will surely proceed up in 2019. Within the remaining 2018 quarter, a person need to invest in mobile-first content that will rank a person higher in mobile search within 2019. The vast majority of your SEO learning ought to come from online resources, yet there are a few publications that will help you conceptually understand the history of lookup, search engines, and how SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION has changed through the many years. There are numerous methods that webmasters use within order to entice potential clients to their site—one of the particular most important and effective associated with those being Seo (SEO). SEO is important for a lot of companies because if individuals find you using a web research and find what they're searching for, you can receive plenty of new web visitors that will can help you earn even more money. Good SEO follows guidelines that Search engines determines are best practices in order to have your articles ranked upon top. SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION services do thorough keyword study for any specific website, and after that optimize the information on the particular basis of these keywords plus theme of website.

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adambstingus · 6 years ago

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The Untold Story of Robert Mueller’s Time in Combat

One day in the summer of 1969, a young Marine lieutenant named Bob Mueller arrived in Hawaii for a rendezvous with his wife, Ann. She was flying in from the East Coast with the couple’s infant daughter, Cynthia, a child Mueller had never met. Mueller had taken a plane from Vietnam.

After nine months at war, he was finally due for a few short days of R&R outside the battle zone. Mueller had seen intense combat since he last said goodbye to his wife. He’d received the Bronze Star with a distinction for valor for his actions in one battle, and he’d been airlifted out of the jungle during another firefight after being shot in the thigh. He and Ann had spoken only twice since he’d left for South Vietnam.

Despite all that, Mueller confessed to her in Hawaii that he was thinking of extending his deployment for another six months, and maybe even making a career in the Marines.

Ann was understandably ill at ease about the prospect. But as it turned out, she wouldn’t be a Marine wife for much longer. It was standard practice for Marines to be rotated out of combat, and later that year Mueller found himself assigned to a desk job at Marine headquarters in Arlington, Virginia. There he discovered something about himself: “I didn’t relish the US Marine Corps absent combat.”

So he headed to law school with the goal of serving his country as a prosecutor. He went on to hold high positions in five presidential administrations. He led the Criminal Division of the Justice Department, overseeing the US investigation of the Lockerbie bombing and the federal prosecution of the Gambino crime family boss John Gotti. He became director of the FBI one week before September 11, 2001, and stayed on to become the bureau’s longest-serving director since J. Edgar Hoover.

And yet, throughout his five-decade career, that year of combat experience with the Marines has loomed large in Mueller’s mind. “I’m most proud the Marines Corps deemed me worthy of leading other Marines,” he told me in a 2009 interview.

June 2018. Subscribe to WIRED.

Illustration by Jules Julien; Source Photo: Gerald Herbert/AP

Today, the face-off between Special Counsel Robert Mueller and President Donald Trump stands out, amid the black comedy of Trump’s Washington, as an epic tale of diverging American elites: a story of two men—born just two years apart, raised in similar wealthy backgrounds in Northeastern cities, both deeply influenced by their fathers, both star prep school athletes, both Ivy League educated—who now find themselves playing very different roles in a riveting national drama about political corruption and Russia’s interference in the 2016 election. The two men have lived their lives in pursuit of almost diametrically opposed goals—Mueller a life of patrician public service, Trump a life of private profit.

Those divergent paths began with Vietnam, the conflict that tore the country apart just as both men graduated from college in the 1960s. Despite having been educated at an elite private military academy, Donald Trump famously drew five draft deferments, including one for bone spurs in his feet. He would later joke, repeatedly, that his success at avoiding sexually transmitted diseases while dating numerous women in the 1980s was “my personal Vietnam. I feel like a great and very brave soldier.”

Mueller, for his part, not only volunteered for the Marines, he spent a year waiting for an injured knee to heal so he could serve. And he has said little about his time in Vietnam over the years. When he was leading the FBI through the catastrophe of 9/11 and its aftermath, he would brush off the crushing stress, saying, “I’m getting a lot more sleep now than I ever did in Vietnam.” One of the only other times his staff at the FBI ever heard him mention his Marine service was on a flight home from an official international trip. They were watching We Were Soldiers, a 2002 film starring Mel Gibson about some of the early battles in Vietnam. Mueller glanced at the screen and observed, “Pretty accurate.”

His reticence is not unusual for the generation that served on the front lines of a war that the country never really embraced. Many of the veterans I spoke with for this story said they’d avoided talking about Vietnam until recently. Joel Burgos, who served as a corporal with Mueller, told me at the end of our hour-long conversation, “I’ve never told anyone most of this.”

Yet for almost all of them—Mueller included—Vietnam marked the primary formative experience of their lives. Nearly 50 years later, many Marine veterans who served in Mueller’s unit have email addresses that reference their time in Southeast Asia: gunnysgt, 2-4marine, semperfi, PltCorpsman, Grunt. One Marine’s email handle even references Mutter’s Ridge, the area where Mueller first faced large-scale combat in December 1968.

The Marines and Vietnam instilled in Mueller a sense of discipline and a relentlessness that have driven him ever since. He once told me that one of the things the Marines taught him was to make his bed every day. I’d written a book about his time at the FBI and was by then familiar with his severe, straitlaced demeanor, so I laughed at the time and said, “That’s the least surprising thing I’ve ever learned about you.” But Mueller persisted: It was an important small daily gesture exemplifying follow-through and execution. “Once you think about it—do it,” he told me. “I’ve always made my bed and I’ve always shaved, even in Vietnam in the jungle. You’ve put money in the bank in terms of discipline.”

Mueller’s former Princeton classmate and FBI chief of staff W. Lee Rawls recalled how Mueller’s Marine leadership style carried through to the FBI, where he had little patience for subordinates who questioned his decisions. He expected his orders to be executed in the Hoover building just as they had been on the battlefield. In meetings with subordinates, Mueller had a habit of quoting Gene Hackman’s gruff Navy submarine captain in the 1995 Cold War thriller Crimson Tide: “We’re here to preserve democracy, not to practice it.”

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Discipline has certainly been a defining feature of Mueller’s Russia investigation. In a political era of extreme TMI—marked by rampant White House leaks, Twitter tirades, and an administration that disgorges jilted cabinet-level officials as quickly as it can appoint new ones—the special counsel’s office has been a locked door. Mueller has remained an impassive cypher: the stoic, silent figure at the center of America’s political gyre. Not once has he spoken publicly about the Russia investigation since he took the job in May 2017, and his carefully chosen team of prosecutors and FBI agents has proved leakproof, even under the most intense of media spotlights. Mueller’s spokesperson, Peter Carr, on loan from the Justice Department, has essentially had one thing to tell a media horde ravenous for information about the Russia investigation: “No comment.”

If Mueller’s discipline is reflected in the silence of his team, his relentlessness has been abundantly evident in the pace of indictments, arrests, and legal maneuvers coming out of his office.

His investigation is proceeding on multiple fronts. He is digging into Russian information operations carried out on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and other social media platforms. In February his office indicted 13 people and three entities connected to the Internet Research Agency, the Russian organization that allegedly masterminded the information campaigns. He’s also pursuing those responsible for cyber intrusions, including the hacking of the email system at the Democratic National Committee.

At the same time, Mueller’s investigators are probing the business dealings of Trump and his associates, an effort that has yielded indictments for tax fraud and conspiracy against Trump’s former campaign chair, Paul Manafort, and a guilty plea on financial fraud and lying to investigators by Manafort’s deputy, Rick Gates. The team is also looking into the numerous contacts between Trump’s people and Kremlin-connected figures. And Mueller is questioning witnesses in an effort to establish whether Trump has obstructed justice by trying to quash the investigation itself.

Almost every week brings a surprise development in the investigation. But until the next indictment or arrest, it’s difficult to say what Mueller knows, or what he thinks.

Before he became special counsel, Mueller freely and repeatedly told me that his habits of mind and character were most shaped by his time in Vietnam, a period that is also the least explored chapter of his biography.

This first in-depth account of his year at war is based on multiple interviews with Mueller about his time in combat—conducted before he became special counsel—as well as hundreds of pages of once-classified Marine combat records, official accounts of Marine engagements, and the first-ever interviews with eight Marines who served alongside Mueller in 1968 and 1969. They provide the best new window we have into the mind of the man leading the Russia investigation.

Mueller volunteered for the Marines in 1966, right after graduating from Princeton. By late 1968 he was a lieutenant leading a combat platoon in Vietnam.

Dan Winters; Archival Photo Courtesy of National Archives

Robert Swan Mueller III, the first of five children and the only son, grew up in a stately stone house in a wealthy Philadelphia suburb. His father was a DuPont executive who had captained a Navy submarine-chaser in World War II; he expected his children to abide by a strict moral code. “A lie was the worst sin,” Mueller says. “The one thing you didn’t do was to give anything less than the truth to my mother and father.”

He attended St. Paul’s prep school in Concord, New Hampshire, where the all-boys classes emphasized Episcopal ideals of virtue and manliness. He was a star on the lacrosse squad and played hockey with future US senator John Kerry on the school team. For college he chose his father’s alma mater, Princeton, and entered the class of 1966.

The expanding war in Vietnam was a frequent topic of conversation among the elite students, who spoke of the war—echoing earlier generations—in terms of duty and service. “Princeton from ’62 to ’66 was a completely different world than ’67 onwards,” said Rawls, a lifelong friend of Mueller’s. “The anti-Vietnam movement was not on us yet. A year or two later, the campus was transformed.”

On the lacrosse field, Mueller met David Hackett, a classmate and athlete who would profoundly affect Mueller’s life. Hackett had already enlisted in the Marines’ version of ROTC, spending his Princeton summers training for the escalating war. “I had one of the finest role models I could have asked for in an upperclassman by the name of David Hackett,” Mueller recalled in a 2013 speech as FBI director. “David was on our 1965 lacrosse team. He was not necessarily the best on the team, but he was a determined and a natural leader.”

After he graduated in 1965, Hackett began training to be a Marine, earning top honors in his officer candidate class. After that he shipped out to Vietnam. In Mueller’s eyes, Hackett was a shining example. Mueller decided that when he graduated the following year, he too would enlist in the Marines.

On April 30, 1967, shortly after Hackett had signed up for his second tour in Vietnam, his unit was ambushed by more than 75 camouflaged North Vietnamese troops who were firing down from bunkers with weapons that included a .50-caliber machine gun. According to a Marine history, “dozens of Marines were killed or wounded within minutes.”

Hackett located the source of the incoming fire and charged 30 yards across open ground to an American machine gun team to tell them where to shoot. Minutes later, as he was moving to help direct a neighboring platoon whose commander had been wounded, he was killed by a sniper. Posthumously awarded the Silver Star, Hackett’s commendation explained that he died “while pressing the assault and encouraging his Marines.”

By the time word of Hackett’s death filtered back to the US, Mueller was already making good on his pledge to follow him into military service. The news only strengthened his resolve to become an infantry officer. “One would have thought that the life of a Marine, and David’s death in Vietnam, would argue strongly against following in his footsteps,” Mueller said in that 2013 speech. “But many of us saw in him the person we wanted to be, even before his death. He was a leader and a role model on the fields of Princeton. He was a leader and a role model on the fields of battle as well. And a number of his friends and teammates joined the Marine Corps because of him, as did I.”

In mid-1966, Mueller underwent his military physical at the Philadelphia Naval Shipyard; this was before the draft lottery began and before Vietnam became a divisive cultural watershed. He recalls sitting in the waiting room as another candidate, a strapping 6-foot, 280-pound lineman for the Philadelphia Eagles, was ruled 4-F—medically unfit for military service. After that it was Mueller’s turn to be rejected: His years of intense athletics, including hockey and lacrosse, had left him with an injured knee. The military declared that it would need to heal before he would be allowed to deploy.

In the meantime, he married Ann Cabell Standish—a graduate of Miss Porter’s School and Sarah Lawrence—over Labor Day weekend 1966, and they moved to New York, where he earned a master’s degree in international relations at New York University.

Once his knee had healed, Mueller went back to the military doctors. In 1967—just before Donald Trump received his own medical deferment for heel spurs—Mueller started Officer Candidate School at Quantico, Virginia.

For high school, Mueller attended St. Paul’s School in Concord, New Hampshire. As a senior in 1962, Mueller (#12) played on the hockey team with future US senator John Kerry (#18).

Dan Winters; Archival Photo by Rick Friedman/Getty Images

Like Hackett before him, Mueller was a star in his Officer Candidate School training class. “He was a cut above,” recalls Phil Kellogg, who had followed one of his fraternity brothers into the Marines after graduating from the College of Santa Fe in New Mexico. Kellogg, who went through training with Mueller, remembers Mueller racing another candidate on an obstacle course—and losing. It’s the only time he can remember Mueller being bested. “He was a natural athlete and natural student,” Kellogg says. “I don’t think he had a hard day at OCS, to be honest.” There was, it turned out, only one thing he was bad at—and it was a failing that would become familiar to legions of his subordinates in the decades to come: He received a D in delegation.

During the time Mueller spent in training, from November 1967 through July 1968, the context of the Vietnam War changed dramatically. The bloody Tet Offensive—a series of coordinated, widespread, surprise attacks across South Vietnam by the Viet Cong and North Vietnamese in January 1968—stunned America, and with public opinion souring on the conflict, Lyndon Johnson declared he wouldn’t run for reelection. As Mueller’s training class graduated, Walter Cronkite declared on the CBS Evening News that the war could not be won. “For it seems now more certain than ever,” Cronkite told his millions of viewers on February 27, 1968, “that the bloody experience of Vietnam is to end in a stalemate.”

The country seemed to be descending into chaos; as the spring unfolded, both Martin Luther King Jr. and Robert F. Kennedy were assassinated. Cities erupted in riots. Antiwar protests raged. But the shifting tide of public opinion and civil unrest barely registered with the officer candidates in Mueller’s class. “I don’t remember anyone having qualms about where we were or what we were doing,” Kellogg says.

That spring, as Donald J. Trump graduated from the University of Pennsylvania and began working for his father’s real estate company, Mueller finished up Officer Candidate School and received his next assignment: He was to attend the US Army’s Ranger School.

Arriving in Vietnam, Mueller was well trained, but he was also afraid. “You were scared to death of the unknown,” he says. “More afraid in some ways of failure than death.”

Mueller knew that only the best young officers went on to Ranger training, a strenuous eight-week advanced skills and leadership program for the military’s elite at Fort Benning, Georgia. He would be spending weeks practicing patrol tactics, assassination missions, attack strategies, and ambushes staged in swamps. But the implications of the assignment were also sobering to the newly minted officer: Many Marines who passed the course were designated as “recon Marines” in Vietnam, a job that often came with a life expectancy measured in weeks.

Mueller credits the training he received at Ranger School for his survival in Vietnam. The instructors there had been through jungle combat themselves, and their stories from the front lines taught the candidates how to avoid numerous mistakes. Ranger trainees often had to function on just two hours of rest a night and a single daily meal. “Ranger School more than anything teaches you about how you react with no sleep and nothing to eat,” Mueller told me. “You learn who you want on point, and who you don’t want anywhere near point.”

After Ranger School, he also attended Airborne School, aka jump school, where he learned to be a parachutist. By the fall of 1968, he was on his way to Asia. He boarded a flight from Travis Air Force Base in California to an embarkation point in Okinawa, Japan, where there was an almost palpable current of dread among the deploying troops.

From Okinawa, Mueller headed to Dong Ha Combat Base near the so-called demilitarized zone—the dividing line between North and South Vietnam, established after the collapse of the French colonial regime in 1954. Mueller was determined and well trained, but he was also afraid. “You were scared to death of the unknown,” he says. “More afraid in some ways of failure than death, more afraid of being found wanting.” That kind of fear, he says “animates your unconscious.”

For American troops, 1968 was the deadliest year of the war, as they beat back the Tet Offensive and fought the battle of Hue. All told, 16,592 Americans were killed that year—roughly 30 percent of total US fatalities in the war. Over the course of the conflict, more than 58,000 Americans died, 300,000 were wounded, and some 2 million South and North Vietnamese died.

Just 18 months after David Hackett was felled by a sniper, Mueller was being sent to the same region as his officer-training classmate Kellogg, who had arrived in Vietnam three months earlier. Mueller was assigned to H Company—Hotel Company in Marine parlance—part of the 2nd Battalion of the 4th Marine Regiment, a storied infantry unit that traced its origins back to the 1930s.

The regiment had been fighting almost nonstop in Vietnam since May 1965, earning the nickname the Magnificent Bastards. The grueling combat took its toll. In the fall of 1967, six weeks of battle reduced the battalion’s 952 Marines to just 300 fit for duty.

During the Tet Offensive, the 2nd Battalion had seen bitter and bloody fighting that never let up. In April 1968, it fought in the battle of Dai Do, a days-long engagement that killed nearly 600 North Vietnamese soldiers. Eighty members of the 2nd Battalion died in the fight, and 256 were wounded.

David Harris, who arrived in Vietnam in May, joined the depleted unit just after Dai Do. “Hotel Company and all of 2/4 was decimated,” he says. “They were a skeleton crew. They were haggard, they were beat to death. It was just pitiful.”

By the time Mueller was set to arrive six months later, the unit had rebuilt its ranks as its wounded Marines recovered and filtered back into the field; they had been tested and emerged stronger. By coincidence, Mueller was to inherit leadership of a Hotel Company platoon from his friend Kellogg. “Those kids that I had and Bob had, half of them were veterans of Dai Do,” Kellogg says. “They were field-sharp.”

A corpsman of Company H aids a wounded Leatherneck of 2nd Battalion, 4th Marines, during Operation Saline II in the Quang Tri Province of Vietnam in 1968.

Dan Winters; Archival Photo Courtesy of National Archives

Second Lieutenant Mueller, 24 years and 3 months old, joined the battalion in November 1968, one of 10 new officers assigned to the unit that month. He knew he was arriving at the so-called pointy end of the American spear. Some 2.7 million US troops served in Vietnam, but the vast majority of casualties were suffered by those who fought in “maneuver battalions” like Mueller’s. The war along the demilitarized zone was far different than it was elsewhere in Vietnam; the primary adversary was the North Vietnamese army, not the infamous Viet Cong guerrillas. North Vietnamese troops generally operated in larger units, were better trained, and were more likely to engage in sustained combat rather than melting away after staging an ambush. “We fought regular, hard-core army,” Joel Burgos says. “There were so many of them—and they were really good.”

William Sparks, a private first class in Hotel Company, recalls that Mueller got off the helicopter in the middle of a rainstorm, wearing a raincoat—a telltale sign that he was new to the war. “You figured out pretty fast it didn’t help to wear a raincoat in Vietnam,” Sparks says. “The humidity just condensed under the raincoat—you were just as wet as you were without it.”

As Mueller walked up from the landing zone, Kellogg—who had no idea Mueller would be inheriting his platoon—recognized his OCS classmate’s gait. “When he came marching up the hill, I laughed,” Kellogg says. “We started joking.” On Mueller’s first night in the field, his brand-new tent was destroyed by the wind. “That thing vanished into thin air,” Sparks says. He didn’t even get to spend one night.”

Over the coming days, Kellogg passed along some of his wisdom from the field and explained the procedures for calling in artillery and air strikes. “Don’t be John Wayne,” he said. “It’s not a movie. Marines tell you something’s up, listen to them.”

“The lieutenants who didn’t trust their Marines went to early deaths,” Kellogg says.

And with that, Kellogg told their commander that Mueller was ready, and he hopped aboard the next helicopter out.

Today, military units usually train together in the US, deploy together for a set amount of time, and return home together. But in Vietnam, rotations began—and ended—piecemeal, driven by the vagaries of injuries, illness, and individual combat tours. That meant Mueller inherited a unit that mixed combat-experienced veterans and relative newbies.

A platoon consisted of roughly 40 Marines, typically led by a lieutenant and divided into three squads, each led by a sergeant, which were then divided into three four-man “fire teams” led by corporals. While the lieutenants were technically in charge, the sergeants ran the show—and could make or break a new officer. “You land, and you’re at the mercy of your staff sergeant and your radioman,” Mueller says.

Marines in the field knew to be dubious of new young second lieutenants like Mueller. They were derided as Gold Brickers, after the single gold bar that denoted their rank. “They might have had a college education, but they sure as hell didn’t have common sense,” says Colin Campbell, who was on Hotel Company’s mortar squad.

Mueller knew his men feared he might be incompetent or worse. “The platoon was petrified,” he recalls. “They wondered whether the new green lieutenant was going to jeopardize their lives to advance his own career.” Mueller himself was equally terrified of assuming field command.

As he settled in, talk spread about the odd new platoon leader who had gone to both Princeton and Army Ranger School. “Word was out real fast—Ivy League guy from an affluent family. That set off alarms. The affluent guys didn’t go to Vietnam then—and they certainly didn’t end up in a rifle platoon,” says VJ Maranto, a corporal in H Company. “There was so much talk about ‘Why’s a guy like that out here with us?’ We weren’t Ivy Leaguers.”

Indeed, none of his fellow Hotel Company Marines had written their college thesis on African territorial disputes before the International Court of Justice, as Mueller had. Most were from rural America, and few had any formal education past high school. Maranto spent his youth on a small farm in Louisiana. Carl Rasmussen, a lance corporal, grew up on a farm in Oregon. Burgos was from the Mississippi Delta, where he was raised on a cotton plantation. After graduating from high school, David Harris had gone to work in a General Motors factory in his home state of Ohio, then joined the Marines when he was set to be drafted in the summer of 1967.

Many of the Marines under Mueller’s command had been wounded at least once; 19-year-old corporal John C. Liverman had arrived in Vietnam just four months after a neighbor of his from Silver Spring, Maryland, had been killed at Khe Sanh—and had seen heavy combat much of the year. He’d been hit by shrapnel in March 1968 and then again in April, but after recovering in Okinawa, he had agitated to return to combat.

Hotel Company quickly came to understand that its new platoon leader was no Gold Bricker. “He wanted to know as much as he could as fast as he could about the terrain, what we did, the ambushes, everything,” Maranto says. “He was all about the mission, the mission, the mission.”

Second Battalion’s mission, as it turned out, was straightforward: Search and destroy. “We stayed out in the bush, out in the mountains, just below DMZ, 24 hours a day,” David Harris says. “We were like bait. It was the same encounter: They’d hit us, we’d hit them, they’d disappear.”

Frequent deaths and injuries meant that turnover in the field was constant; when Maranto arrived at Hotel Company, he was issued a flak jacket that had dried blood on it. “We were always low on men,” Colin Campbell says.

Mueller’s unit was constantly on patrol; the battalion’s records described it as “nomadic.” Its job was to keep the enemy off-kilter and disrupt their supply lines. “You’d march all day, then you’d dig a foxhole and spend all night alternating going on watch,” says Bill White, a Hotel Company veteran. “We were always tired, always hungry, always thirsty. There were no showers.”

In those first weeks, Mueller’s confidence as a leader grew as he won his men’s trust and respect. “You’d sense his nervousness, but you’d never see that in his demeanor,” Maranto says. “He was such a professional.”

The members of the platoon soon got acquainted with the qualities that would be familiar to everyone who dealt with Mueller later as a prosecutor and FBI director. He demanded a great deal and had little patience for malingering, but he never asked for more than he was willing to give himself. “He was a no-bullshit kind of guy,” White recalls.

Sgt. Michael Padilla (left) with Cpl. Agustin Rosario (right), who was killed in action on December 11, 1968, during the operation at Mutter’s Ridge.

Dan Winters; Archival Photo Courtesy of Michael Padilla

Mueller’s unit began December 1968 in relative quiet, providing security for the main military base in the area, a glorified campground known as Vandegrift Combat Base, about 10 miles south of the DMZ. It was one of the only organized outposts nearby for Marines, a place for resupply, a shower, and hot food. Lance Corporal Robert W. Cromwell, who had celebrated his 20th birthday shortly before beginning his tour of duty, entertained his comrades with stories from his own period of R&R: He’d met his wife and parents in Hawaii to be introduced to his newborn daughter. “He was so happy to have a child and wanted to get home for good,” Harris says.

On December 7 the battalion boarded helicopters for a new operation: to retake control of a hill in an infamous area known as Mutter’s Ridge.

The strategically important piece of ground, which ran along four hills on the southern edge of the DMZ, had been the scene of fighting for more than two years and had been overrun by the North Vietnamese months before. Artillery, air strikes, and tank attacks had long since denuded the ridge of vegetation, but the surrounding hillsides and valleys were a jungle of trees and vines. When Hotel Company touched down and fanned out from its landing zones to establish a perimeter, Mueller was arriving to what would be his first full-scale battle.

As the American units advanced, the North Vietnamese retreated. “They were all pulling back to this big bunker complex, as it turned out,” Sparks says. The Americans could see the signs of past battles all around them. “You’d see shrapnel holes in the trees, bullet holes,” Sparks says.

After three days of patrols, isolated firefights with an elusive enemy, and multiple nights of American bombardment, another unit in 2nd Battalion, Fox Company, received the order to take some high ground on Mutter’s Ridge. Even nearly 50 years later, the date of the operation remains burned into the memories of those who fought in it: December 11, 1968.

None of Mueller’s fellow Marines had written their college thesis on African territorial disputes before the International Court of Justice, as Mueller had.

That morning, after a night of air strikes and artillery volleys meant to weaken the enemy, the men of Fox Company moved out at first light. The attack went smoothly at first; they seized the western portions of the ridge without resistance, dodging just a handful of mortar rounds. Yet as they continued east, heavy small-arms fire started. “As they fought their way forward, they came into intensive and deadly fire from bunkers and at least three machine guns,” the regiment later reported. Because the vegetation was so dense, Fox Company didn’t realize that it had stumbled into the midst of a bunker complex. “Having fought their way in, the company found it extremely difficult to maneuver its way out, due both to the fire of the enemy and the problem of carrying their wounded.”

Hotel Company was on a neighboring hill, still eating breakfast, when Fox Company was attacked. Sparks remembers that he was drinking a “Mo-Co,” C-rations coffee with cocoa powder and sugar, heated by burning a golf-ball-sized piece of C-4 plastic explosive. (“We were ahead of Starbucks on this latte crap,” he jokes.) They could hear the gunfire across the valley.

“Lieutenant Mueller called, ‘Saddle up, saddle up,’” Sparks says. “He called for first squad—I was the grenade launcher and had two bags of ammo strapped across my chest. I could barely stand up.” Before they could even reach the enemy, they had to fight their way through the thick brush of the valley. “We had to go down the hill and come up Foxtrot Ridge. It took hours.”

“It was the only place in the DMZ I remember seeing vegetation like that,” Harris says. “It was thick and entwining.”

When the platoon finally crested the top of the ridge, they confronted the horror of the battlefield. “There were wounded people everywhere,” Sparks recalls. Mueller ordered everyone to drop their packs and prepare for a fight. “We assaulted right out across the top of the ridge,” he says.

It wasn’t long before the unit came under heavy fire from small arms, machine guns, and a grenade launcher. “There were three North Vietnamese soldiers right in front of us that jumped right up and sprayed us with AK-47s,” Sparks says. They returned fire and advanced. At one point, a Navy corpsman with them threw a grenade, only to have it bounce off a tree and explode, wounding one of Hotel Company’s corporals. “It just got worse from there,” Sparks says.

In the next few minutes, numerous men went down in Mueller’s unit. Maranto remembers being impressed that his relatively green lieutenant was able to stay calm while under attack. “He’d been in-country less than a month—most of us had been in-country six, eight months,” Maranto says. “He had remarkable composure, directing fire. It was sheer terror. They had RPGs, machine gun, mortars.”

Mueller realized quickly how much trouble the platoon was in. “That day was the second heaviest fire I received in Vietnam,” Harris says. “Lieutenant Mueller was directing traffic, positioning people and calling in air strikes. He was standing upright, moving. He probably saved our hide.”

Cromwell, the lance corporal who had just become a father, was shot in the thigh by a .50-caliber bullet. When Harris saw his wounded friend being hustled out of harm’s way, he was oddly relieved at first. “I saw him and he was alive,” Harris says. “He was on the stretcher.” Cromwell would finally be able to spend some time with his wife and new baby, Harris figured. “You lucky sucker,” he thought. “You’re going home.”

But Harris had misjudged the severity of his friend’s injury. The bullet had nicked one of Cromwell’s arteries, and he bled to death before he reached the field hospital. The death devastated Harris, who had traded weapons with Cromwell the night before—Harris had taken Cromwell’s M-14 rifle and Cromwell took Harris’ M-79 grenade launcher. “The next day when we hit the crap, they called for him, and he had to go forward,” Harris says. Harris couldn’t shake the feeling that he should have been the one on the stretcher. “I’ve only told two people this story.”

The battle atop and around Mutter’s Ridge raged for hours, with the North Vietnamese fire coming from the surrounding jungle. “We got hit with an ambush, plain and simple,” Harris says. “The brush was so thick, you had trouble hacking it with a machete. If you got 15 meters away, you couldn’t see where you came from.”

As the fighting continued, the Marines atop the ridge began to run low on supplies. “Johnny Liverman threw me a bag of ammo. He’d been ferrying ammo from one side of the ridge to the other,” Sparks recalls. Liverman was already wounded, but he was still fighting; then, during one of his runs, he came under more fire. “He got hit right through the head, right when I was looking at him. I got that ammo, I crawled up there and got his M-16 and told him I’d be back.”

Sparks and another Marine sheltered behind a dead tree stump, trying to find any protection amid the firestorm. “Neither of us had any ammo left,” Sparks recalls. He crawled back to Liverman to try to evacuate his friend. “I got him up on my shoulder, and I got shot, and I went down,” he says. As he was lying on the ground, he heard a shout from atop the ridge, “Who’s that down there—are they dead?”

It was Lieutenant Mueller.

Sparks hollered back, “Sparks and Liverman.”

“Hold on,” Mueller said, “We’re coming down to get you.”

A few minutes later, Mueller appeared with another Marine, known as Slick. Mueller and Slick slithered Sparks into a bomb crater with Liverman and put a battle dress on Sparks’ wound. They waited until a helicopter gunship passed overhead, its guns clattering, to distract the North Vietnamese, and hustled back toward the top of the hill and comparative safety. An OV-10 attack plane overhead dropped smoke grenades to help shield the Marines atop the ridge. Mueller, Sparks says, then went back to retrieve the mortally wounded Liverman.

The deaths mounted. Corporal Agustin Rosario—a 22-year-old father and husband from New York City—was shot in the ankle, and then, while he tried to run back to safety, was shot again, this time fatally. Rosario, too, died waiting for a medevac helicopter.

Finally, as the hours passed, the Marines forced the North Vietnamese to withdraw. By 4:30 pm, the battlefield had quieted. As his commendation for the Bronze Star later read, “Second Lieutenant Mueller’s courage, aggressive initiative and unwavering devotion to duty at great personal risk were instrumental in the defeat of the enemy force and were in keeping with the highest traditions of the Marine Corps and of the United States Naval Service.”

As night fell, Hotel and Fox held the ground, and a third company, Golf, was brought forward as additional reinforcement. It was a brutal day for both sides; 13 Americans died and 31 were wounded. “We put a pretty good hurt on them, but not without great cost,” Sparks says. “My closest friends were all killed there on Foxtrot Ridge.”

As the Americans explored the field around the ridge, they counted seven enemy dead left behind, in addition to seven others killed in the course of the battle. Intelligence reports later revealed that the battle had killed the commander of the 1st Battalion, 27th North Vietnamese Army Regiment, “and had virtually decimated his staff.”

For Mueller, the battle had proved both to him and his men that he could lead. “The minute the shit hit the fan, he was there,” Maranto says. “He performed remarkably. After that night, there were a lot of guys who would’ve walked through walls for him.”

That first major exposure to combat—and the loss of Marines under his command—affected Mueller deeply. “You’re standing there thinking, ‘Did I do everything I could?’” he says. Afterward, back at camp, while Mueller was still in shock, a major came up and slapped the young lieutenant on the shoulder, saying, “Good job, Mueller.”

“That vote of confidence helped me get through,” Mueller told me. “That gesture pushed me over. I wouldn’t go through life guilty for screwing up.”

The heavy toll of the casualties at Mutter’s Ridge shook up the whole unit. Cromwell’s death hit especially hard; his humor and good nature had knitted the unit together. “He was happy-go-lucky. He looked after the new guys when they came in,” Bill White recalls. For Harris, who had often shared a foxhole with Cromwell, the death of his best friend was devastating.

White also took Cromwell’s death hard; overcome with grief, he stopped shaving. Mueller confronted him, telling him to refocus on the mission ahead—but ultimately provided more comfort than discipline. “He could’ve given me punishment hours,” White says, “but he never did.”

Robert Mueller receives an award from his regimental commander Col. Martin “Stormy” Sexton in Dong Ha, South Vietnam in 1969.

Dan Winters; Archival Photo Courtesy of the office of Robert Mueller

Decades later, Mueller would tell me that nothing he ever confronted in his career was as challenging as leading men in combat and watching them be cut down. “You see a lot, and every day after is a blessing,” he told me in 2008. The memory of Mutter’s Ridge put everything, even terror investigations and showdowns with the Bush White House, into perspective. “A lot is going to come your way, but it’s not going to be the same intensity.”

When Mueller finally did leave the FBI in 2013, he “retired” into a busy life as a top partner at the law firm WilmerHale. He taught some classes in cybersecurity at Stanford, he investigated the NFL’s handling of the Ray Rice domestic violence case, and he served as the so-called settlement master for the Volkswagen Dieselgate scandal. While in the midst of that assignment—which required the kind of delicate give-and-take ill-suited to a hard-driving, no-nonsense Marine—the 72-year-old Mueller received a final call to public service. It was May 2017, just days into the swirling storm set off by the firing of FBI director James Comey, and deputy attorney general Rod Rosenstein wanted to know if Mueller would serve as the special counsel in the Russia investigation. The job—overseeing one of the most difficult and sensitive investigations ever undertaken by the Justice Department—may only rank as the third-hardest of Mueller’s career, after the post-9/11 FBI and after leading those Marines in Vietnam.

Having accepted the assignment as special counsel, he retreated into his prosecutor’s bunker, cut off from the rest of America.

In January 1969, after 10 days of rain showers and cold weather, the unit got a three-day R&R break at Cua Viet, a nearby support base. They listened to Super Bowl III on the radio as Joe Namath and the Jets defeated the Baltimore Colts. “One touch of reality was listening to that,” Mueller says.

In the field, they got little news about what was transpiring at home. In fact, later that summer, while Mueller was still deployed, Neil Armstrong took his first steps on the moon—an event that people around the world watched live on TV. Mueller wouldn’t find out until days afterward. “There was this whole segment of history you missed,” he says.

R&R breaks were also rare opportunities to drink alcohol, though there was never much of it. Campbell says he drank just 15 beers during his 18 months in-country. “I can remember drinking warm beer—Ballantines,” he says. In camp, the men traded magazines like Playboy and mail-order automotive catalogs, imagining the cars they would soup up when they returned to the States. They passed the time playing rummy or pinochle.

For the most part, Mueller skipped such activities, though he was into the era’s music (Creedence Clearwater Revival was—and is—a particular favorite). “I remember several times walking into a bunker and finding him in a corner with a book,” Maranto says. “He read a lot, every opportunity.”

Throughout the rest of the month, they patrolled, finding little contact with the enemy, although plenty of signs of their presence: Hotel Company often radioed in reports of finding fallen bodies and hidden supply caches, and they frequently took incoming mortar rounds from unseen enemies.

Command under such conditions wasn’t easy; drug use was a problem, and racial tensions ran high. “Many of the GIs were draftees; they didn’t want to be there,” Maranto says. “When new people rotated in, they brought what was happening in the United States with them.”

Mueller recalls at times struggling to get Marines to follow orders—they already felt that the punishment of serving in the infantry in Vietnam was as bad as it could get. “Screw that,” they’d reply sharply when ordered to do something they didn’t want to do. “What are you going to do? Send me to Vietnam?”

Yet the Marines were bonded through the constant danger of combat. Everyone had close calls. Everyone knew that luck in the combat zone was finite, fate pernicious. “If the good Lord turned over a card up there, that was it,” Mueller says.

Nights particularly were filled with dread; the enemy preferred sneak attacks, often in the hours before dawn. Colin Campbell recalls a night in his foxhole when he turned around to find a North Vietnamese soldier, armed with an AK-47, right behind him. “He’d gotten inside our perimeter. He had our back,” Campbell says. “Why didn’t he kill me and the other guy in the foxhole?” Campbell shouted, and the infiltrator bolted. “Another Marine down the line shot him dead.”

Mueller was a constant presence in the field, regularly reviewing the code signs and passwords that identified friendly units to one another. “He was quiet and reserved. The planning was meticulous and detailed. He knew at night where every position was,” Maranto recalls. “It wouldn’t be unusual for him to come out and make sure the fire teams were correctly placed—and that you were awake.”

The men I talked to who served alongside Mueller, men now in their seventies, mostly had strong memories of the type of leader Mueller had been. But many didn’t know, until I told them, that the man who led their platoon was now the special counsel investigating Russian interference in the election. “I had no idea,” Burgos told me. “When you’ve been in combat that long, you don’t remember names. Faces you remember,” he says.

Maranto says he only put two and two together recently, although he’d wondered for years if that guy who was the FBI director had served with him in Vietnam. “The name would ring a bell—you know that’s a familiar name—but you’re so busy with everyday life,” Maranto says.

At the makeshift landing zone getting briefed before being airlifted to join the rest of the operation. Mueller is standing on the right with his back to the camera.

Dan Winters; Archival Photo Courtesy of VJ Maranto

April 1969 marked a grim American milestone: The Vietnam War’s combat death toll surpassed the 33,629 Americans killed while fighting in Korea. It also brought a new threat to Hotel Company’s area: a set of powerful .50-caliber machine gun nests that the North Vietnamese had set up to harass helicopters and low-flying planes. Hotel Company—and the battalion’s other units—devoted much of the middle of the month to chasing down the deadly weapons. Until they were found, resupply helicopters were limited, and flights were abandoned when they came under direct fire. One Marine was even killed in the landing zone. Finally, on April 15 and 16, Hotel Company overran the enemy guns and forced a retreat, uncovering 10 bunkers and three gun positions.

The next day, at around 10 am, Mueller’s platoon was attacked while on patrol. Facing small-arms fire and grenades, they called for air support. An hour later four attack runs hit the North Vietnamese position.

Five days later, on April 22, one of the 3rd Platoon’s patrols came under similar attack—and the situation quickly became desperate. Sparks, who had returned to Hotel Company that winter after recovering from his wound at Mutter’s Ridge, was in the ambushed patrol. “We lost the machine gun, jammed up with shrapnel, and the radio,” he recalls. “We had to pull back.”

Nights particularly were filled with dread; the enemy preferred sneak attacks, often in the hours before dawn.

With radio contact lost, Mueller’s platoon was called forward as reinforcement. American artillery and mortars pounded the North Vietnamese as the platoon advanced. At one point, Mueller was engaged in a close firefight. The incoming fire was so intense—the stress of the moment so all-consuming, the adrenaline pumping so hard—that when he was shot, Mueller didn’t immediately notice. Amid the combat, he looked down and realized an AK-47 round had passed clean through his thigh.

Mueller kept fighting.

“Although seriously wounded during the firefight, he resolutely maintained his position and, ably directing the fire of his platoon, was instrumental in defeating the North Vietnamese Army force,” reads the Navy Commendation that Mueller received for his action that day. “While approaching the designated area, the platoon came under a heavy volume of enemy fire from its right flank. Skillfully requesting and directing supporting Marine artillery fire on the enemy positions, First Lieutenant Mueller ensured that fire superiority was gained over the hostile unit.”

Two other members of Hotel Company were also wounded in the battle. One of them had his leg blown off by a grenade; it was his first day in Vietnam.

Mueller’s days in combat ended with him being lifted out by helicopter in a sling. As the aircraft peeled away, Mueller recalls thinking he might at least get a good meal out of the injury on a hospital ship, but he was delivered instead to a field hospital near Dong Ha, where he spent three weeks recovering.

Maranto, who was on R&R when Mueller was wounded, remembers returning to camp and hearing word that their commander had been shot. “It could happen to any one of us,” Maranto says. “When it happened to him, there was a lot of sadness. They enjoyed his company.”

Mueller recovered and returned to active duty in May. Since most Marine officers spent only six months on a combat rotation—and Mueller had been in the combat zone since November—he was sent to serve at command headquarters, where he became an aide-de-camp to Major General William K. Jones, the head of the 3rd Marine Division.

By the end of 1969, Mueller was back in the US, his combat tour complete, working at the Marine barracks near the Pentagon. Soon thereafter, he sent off an application to the University of Virginia’s law school. “I consider myself exceptionally lucky to have made it out of Vietnam,” Mueller said years later in a speech. “There were many—many—who did not. And perhaps because I did survive Vietnam, I have always felt compelled to contribute.”

Over the years, a few of his former fellow Marines from Hotel Company recognized Mueller and have watched his career unfold on the national stage over the past two decades. Sparks recalls eating lunch on a July day in 2001 with the news on: “The TV was on behind me. ‘We’re going to introduce the new FBI director, Robert … Swan … Mueller.’ I slowly turned, and I looked, and I thought, ‘Golly, that’s Lieutenant Mueller.’” Sparks, who speaks with a thick Texas accent, says his first thought was the running joke he’d had with his former commander: “I’d always call him ‘Lieutenant Mew-ler,’ and he’d say, ‘That’s Mul-ler.’”

More recently, his former Marine comrade Maranto says that after spending six months in combat with Mueller, he has watched the coverage of the special counsel investigation unfold and laughed at the news reports. He says he knows Mueller isn’t sweating the pressure. “I watch people on the news talking about the distractions getting to him,” he says. “I don’t think so.”

Garrett M. Graff (@vermontgmg) is a contributing editor at WIRED and author of The Threat Matrix: Inside Robert Mueller’s FBI and the War on Global Terror. He can be reached at [email protected].

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