#but i spelled my own name wrong in an email to him 3 years ago and can’t look him in the eye 🤡

[cordiallyfuturedwight]

i’m supposed to be writing but instead i just spent 10 mins watching my coworker pick something to eat from the vending machine

[pucksnsticksnhockeyboys]

summertime mindset - pt. 3

truth or dare & nosy teammates 

masterlist for summertime mindset

Timing is hard to get right and summer doesn’t last forever. You and Tyson learn the hard way.

word count: 2.1k

note from the writer: enjoy! make sure to read the prologue and the first two parts before this! let me know what you think!

SUMMERTIME

“What are we, twelve?” You teased as soon as the suggestion to play truth or dare was tossed out by someone. You were a few beers deep into the night, the sun had set a while ago and the adults and kids had long gone to bed.

Your group consisted of you, Tyson, Rachel, Michael, and Michael’s friend Dan. You liked Dan, he was harmless and funny, and he clearly liked you, if the way he had been trying to get close to you all day was any indication. He wasn’t good at taking hints, though, you had spent half the night tucked under Tyson’s arm and he still was trying to get your attention.

Now, Tyson wasn’t known as the smartest guy in the locker room, but when it came to you, he knew what was going on. He just laughed off any advances Dan made towards you, knowing you would never do anything to hurt him. Plus, when it was time to play truth or dare around the campfire, it was his side you curled into and he was the one that got to kiss the top of your head as you did so.

“Come on, it’ll be fun.” Rachel argued, and you rolled your eyes despite the grin on your face and you sat up a little straighter for the game. The first few rounds passed harmlessly, Rachel made Tyson give Michael a kiss on the cheek, which he did with an exaggerated ‘mwah’ that had you simultaneously giggling and contemplating about never letting him kiss you again just so he’d never get the chance to do that to you. Michael used you picking dare as a chance to get a refill on his drink, and you claimed that ‘go get me another beer’ wasn’t a dare, but you lost that argument since Rachel and Tyson both needed fresh bottles.

You made Rachel tell her most embarrassing sex story and it devolved from there. Tyson had Michael twerk on Dan, and Tyson, unprompted, decided to show Michael how it’s done and started twerking on you. You were seated, so it was more just him shaking his ass in your face, and you laughed so hard you got a stitch in your side.

“What’s the biggest turn off in a guy for you?” Dan had calmed things down towards the end of the night. You were tired, too tired to get up and do anything, so you picked truth. Clearly, Dan was trying to hint at something—probably the obvious feelings he had for you, but you’ll never know for sure.

“When guys are the gross kind of possessive, you know?” You nodded your head dramatically, the drinks you had finally catching up to you. Tyson chuckled as you slumped into him, your head on his shoulder and his arm snaking around your waist. Rachel apparently didn’t get the memo that things were winding down, because she shot up in her seat at your statement, pointing her half-empty beer at you.

“That’s the worst! Like, he’s my guy friend, I don’t want to fuck him. Stop getting jealous.” She blurted, probably a bit too loud for being in her backyard and her parents asleep in the house right by you.

“I don’t do that, do I?” Michael looked at his girlfriend, brows furrowed. He relaxed back into his seat, though, when Rachel shook her head and dropped back into her chair. You chuckled at her tiredly, tilting your head up to look at Tyson as he shrugged the shoulder you were leaning against to get your attention.

“Bedtime?” You nodded at his one-word question, pushing yourself forward just a bit to lazily press your lips to his. You could feel him smile into the kiss, and that made you grin in return. You pulled back first, the idea of crawling into bed suddenly very appealing. Tyson stood first, hauling you to your feet and letting you lean into him. He passed Dan, reaching out to do an abridged ‘bro-handshake’ since Dan was still sitting. “It was nice meeting you, man.”

Apparently, it was then that Dan seemed to realize that you and Tyson were a thing, because his eyes widened, and he started stuttering out apologies.

“I’m sorry, dude, I didn’t know—” He started, and Tyson cut him off with a chuckle. And though his arm tightened around you, it was only because you were nuzzling into his side in a bid to steal some of his body heat since you had moved away from the fire.

“It’s all good.” He waved off Dan. He had no reason to be jealous, as he was certain you were just as gone for him as he was for you.

You just smiled up at him. Tyson was definitely not the gross kind of possessive.  

PRESENT

Since your roommate was a bit of a nightmare, you often opted to take your work to a nearby coffee shop instead of spending a half hour trying to get her to realize her music was too loud and you couldn't focus because of it. You had been looking into moving, but between student debts and just the cost of living on your own, you were pretty much stuck with her for the time being.

You had headphones on to help you focus, but it was between songs that you heard someone say your name seconds before a hand was waved in your face. Pulling out an earbud, you smiled at the person who interrupted you. There were only a few people who could pull you out of your work without you getting mad, and only one could make you smile so easily despite everything.

"Hey, Tyson." You greeted, leaning back into your seat. He was grinning at you, and one of his teammates, Sam Girard, you think, was politely smiling at you from behind his shoulder. You greeted him, too, and he nudged Tyson before retreating back in line to order.

"Didn't know you lived in Denver for months and now I can't stop running into you." Tyson teased, sliding into the booth opposite you. You chuckled at his comment, it had been a month and a half since you first met back up with Tyson, so you had adjusted and grown comfortable with the idea of letting him back into your life—as a friend, nothing more. You had met up with him a dozen or so times since then, but it was always during the day and at places like coffee shops and your favorite diner.

It was awkward at first, spending time with Tyson and trying to avoid thinking about the summer you spent together. But things were always easy with him, and you had grown accustomed to having him around again. Still, you had to catch yourself from greeting him with a kiss, and you could tell he had to force himself to keep your hugs on a side of friendly that you never had to do before. But even if you weren't with Jon, you would still be hesitant to bring any romantic feelings into your friendship with him.

"What are you up to today?" You asked, finishing up the email you had to send before turning to look at him. He was already smiling at you, and the familiar rush that ran through you from being under his stare had you dropping your gaze back to your laptop. You hated how he always made you feel like a teenager with a crush, despite the fact you weren’t letting yourself think like that again.

"We just finished a morning skate; we're just hanging out." Tyson replied easily, and you relaxed a bit as he gave no indication whether or not he noticed your reaction to him, knowing him, he probably did, but was too nice to say anything about it. Before you could respond, Sam slid into the seat beside Tyson, flashing you a grin that spelled trouble.

"We're going out tonight, a bar called Tina's." Sam explained and you nodded, knowing the spot. You had learned about the place when Rachel and Michael had come to visit and you took them there and had been back a few times since then. "You should come."

You were caught off guard by the offer, but Tyson's grin widened just a bit more. You considered it, it was a Saturday and you were currently getting most of your work done, so you wouldn't have to worry about it later. But there was still something weird about going to a bar with your ex-who's-technically-not-your-ex and his friends.

"You can bring Jon." Tyson's expression fell a bit as he offered, and you just knew your smile was a bit too tight and your nod too stiff. Sam raised a brow at the statement, looking between you and Tyson as if he knew something was wrong. There was a question on the tip of his tongue, you could practically hear it, and something told you that you needed to change the topic.

"Sounds great."

And that was how you ended up at a bar on a Saturday night, your boyfriend trailing behind you as you searched for your—Tyson?—to introduce the two of them. Rachel had fully laughed at you for putting yourself in the situation when you called her earlier and freaked out.

The fact that you avoided telling Jon exactly what your history was with Tyson probably didn't help ease your conscience. He knew that you were friends from a few years back and that you lost touch, but he had no idea about just how you had spent that summer. You knew you would have to come clean at some point, but you'd rather not have that be twenty minutes before you had to meet up with everyone. Jon had a bit of a jealous streak, and you wanted the night to go as smoothly as possible.

You had been at the bar for all of two minutes, barely spotting the group of guys at a booth in the back, but Jon had already woven an arm around your waist. He always did this when you went out, making sure you stayed close to him and him only. It could get annoying, but you obliged, knowing it was better to just let him have his way for a few hours instead of picking a fight.

"Hey, guys." You waved nervously, greeting the table as soon as you got close. Tyson jumped up from his spot, effectively booting Cale from his seat between you and him. Jon's grip on you tightened, and you were forced to give Tyson an awkward half-hug since he wouldn't let go. You tried to avoid the questioning look Tyson gave you, but you knew it was there.

“Are you Bracelet Girl?” A toothless blonde, Erik Johnson, you couldn’t mistake him for anyone else, shouted from his spot in the booth. JT, who was seated next to him, elbowed him sharply while flashing you a grin. You were flushed, gaze focused on the ground as a round of laughter fluttered through the group.

“Shut up, man.” Tyson hissed, and a quick glance up told you he was just as embarrassed as you were—if the way his cheeks and the tips of his ears had turned cherry red said anything.

“Yeah, I am.” You chuckled, offering Erik your actual name. You were a little caught off guard by the way he cheered, and it was that moment you realized the two empty bottles on the table must belong to him.

“Call me EJ, and the first round is on me. I want to hear all the dirty details about offseason Josty.” Erik grinned, his comment earning snickers from the group and you were just about to reply before you were tugged tighter into Jon’s side, caught off balance just enough to have you stumbling into him.

“Her drinks are on me. I’m Jon, her boyfriend.” You had to school your features to stop from wincing, but you couldn’t control yourself enough to avoid putting an inch or so of distance between yourself and him.

You also pretended not to notice the same confused looks the guys were giving you and Tyson, not unlike the one Sam had given you earlier.

“Alright, no harm done.” EJ muttered, punctuating his sentence with a swig of his drink and you started to wonder if bringing Jon was a good idea.

“I think I’m going to buy my own drinks tonight.” You commented, putting another inch of space between you and him. You avoided his gaze, flashing Tyson a tight-lipped smile before turning to head to the bar.

You thought about that game of truth or dare you played that summer, and how the answer you gave Dan on your biggest turn offs was still true.

And if the look Tyson gave you as you caught his eye was any indication, he remembered too.

[forgottenpasta]

Teach Me Dirty (m)

➤ Summary: Taehyung has a lot to teach his English teacher. Fortunately for him, you’re an eager and willing pupil.

➤ Taehyung x Reader

➤ Warnings: Oppa Kink, Unprotected Rough Sex, Oral Sex, Urethral Stimulation, Squirting, Fingering, Creampie, Pregnancy Risk(?)

➤ Word Count: 2.9k

➤ A/n: This is something I wrote a long while back, recently made some changes and decided to put it up. If the writing looks weird, then its probably because some parts were written more than a year ago. Also wrap it before you tap it please. Enjoy :D

Your feet moved fast on the pavement, breath laboured as you rushed past the pedestrians on the busy footpath. For the first time you were late for your tutoring session.

A tutoring session with the most coveted heartthrobs of the nation.

How did you get this job? Well, family ties tend to take people a long way. Just that one right connection and poof, you’re being paid 3 times more for a job that would otherwise make chump change for a person with way more experience than you. You were just an average university student who took a one year foreign exchange program with one of the biggest universities in South Korea.

Until you came here and the weight of the living expenses almost drove you to starvation. The scholarship only covered your tuition and the extra menial jobs didn’t even come close to paying the full rent of your apartment.

Fortunately and through sheer luck, your uncle was an old friend of Bang Si Hyuk.

You’d met him before on family gatherings and other such occasions and he was almost like an uncle to you too. He trusted you. You’d mentioned in passing that you were a literature major and joked about having no money and no life in the typical self condescending humour of someone trying to look cool in front of an intimidating elder. The next day you had an email siting in your inbox asking for your credentials and an interview for a teaching position with his entertainment company. 

The thought had crossed your mind that you were ultimately selected only because of your uncle, because it couldn’t possibly be that half a million English teachers wouldn’t jump at the chance of teaching Bangtan. But you didn’t want to hear the truth, so you’d never brought it up to either your uncle or the Bighit CEO. 

It had been a month into your new job and you still weren’t used to teaching boys who made your hands tremble and palms sweat with just one casual look in your direction. And you knew that they knew that you were a fumbling, nervous mess in front of them 90% of the time. At least they were gracious enough to not laugh at you or point out how maladroit you were for this job. 

Well, except for one person that is

The familiar quickening of your heart meant that you were going to be one single jittery girl in between seven testosterone filled sex-on-legs boys who probably thought of you as their daily one hour of free amusement.

But when you opened the door to their dorm after a quick customary knock, Taehyung was the only face you could see. Sitting on the long couch, he munched on an apple while a wildlife documentary played on the television. 

Of course it had to be him. 

He glanced at you lazily as you entered the living room. "You're late. The others left."

"Huh.", you huffed, still catching your breath as you put your heavy bag full of assignments down. "Where?"

He gave you a playful smile which did not match the heat in his roving eyes at all. A slow once over of you from head to tow. When his eyes reached yours again he tilted his head, as if in approval. 

"For practice. Our comeback is soon. You know that, Ms. __.”

A shiver rushed down your spine at the way he said "Ms.__". He was the only one who called you that, the rest just calling you __-ssi. Apparently, calling you Miss instead of the honorific made the English lessons more "immersive" for him. 

His words not yours.

You gulped. "And you didn't go?"

He gave you a wide eyed innocent stare. "I couldn't leave you here alone. Besides you gave me a punishment last time remember?"

You raised an eyebrow. His puppy dog eyes always spelled trouble for you. 

"You told me I'd get an F in evaluation if I didn't complete my assignment this time."

Right. The assignment. Every other member, even Jeongguk who struggled with English, had completed it. But for some reason Taehyung always day dreamed in class instead. 

Daydreamed or gave you heated stares which made you blush in unspeakable places. More than once you’d caught him staring at your legs. 

"Okay." You sat down on the carpet in front of the coffee table. "Give it to me."

His voice went husky. "Give what to you, Ms.__?” He joined you on the floor, sitting so close your knees were almost touching.

He always did this. Turned your conversations into sexual innuendos, while purposefully teasing you.

You gave him a stern look and held out your hand. "Your assignment."

His cute box smile made an appearance."Of course." He grabbed a paper from the side table and handed it to you.

Ugh. He could go from intense sex god to aegyo expert in a second. It gave you whiplash.

You grabbed your marker to evaluate him when he spoke again, shifting even closer to you. "Are you sure you want to read it though? I was brutally honest with my answers."

His deep baritone so close to your ear made goosebumps break out on your skin. You tried your best to ignore the lack of proximity between you.

"Good. Honest answers are exactly what I want.” You opened the front page.

"Don't say I didn't warn you."

You furrowed your brows but ignored him, focusing on correcting his English. 

1. Write a compliment for someone you admire.

~ Ms. __ has the most kissable lips ever. 

Your breath caught in your throat and your heart raced a mile a minute. You hadn't expected this. You could feel Taehyung's heated gaze on you. 

2. What is your biggest motivation to wake up in the morning?

You were sure his answer would be regarding their fan base, the Armys being his motivation. That's what most of the other members had written. 

Boy, were you wrong.

~ Seeing Ms.___ in short skirts. 

You didn’t dare look up at him. Your face was ten different shades of red.

3. What is the one wish you want to fulfill?

~ My English teacher's long legs wrapped around me while I fuck her against her precious blackboard.

Your eyes almost popped out your sockets as you looked up at the blackboard you had had installed in their dorm during the first week of your classes. 

"Are you thinking about it, Ms.___?", his whisper snapped you out of you daze. 

You blushed even more, if that was even possible. You had been imagining you both doing it against the blackboard.

Face screaming embarrassment, you looked at him finally. The top buttons of his shirt were unbuttoned, you realised for the first time. His hard pecs visible.

He smirked. "My eyes are up here, Ms.___."

"Hmm.", you snapped your eyes up, your own chest heaving with heavy breaths. "Taehyung-ssi you can't write-"

His lips crashed down on yours. 

He moved his mouth against yours roughly, then softly, with expert ease that scrambled your brain and made all thoughts in any language nigh impossible. You were in sync when he moved above you, placing his large hands on your dainty shoulders and pushing you back on the carpet. 

"Kiss me back, __.", he breathed harshly against your mouth. You gasped at him calling you by your name.

And he took the opportunity to thrust his tongue into your mouth, tasting yours. Your mouths made a frenzied mess as you couldn't hold yourself back anymore, pushing your hands in his soft hair, you clutched him even closer.

His tongue moved in and out of his mouth, mimicking his pelvis between your now open legs.

You moaned loudly at a particularly harsh thrust between your legs, your core pulsing with pleasure.

He broke the kiss abruptly, a string of saliva still connecting your mouths. "Say my name.", he ordered as he ground himself against you. The hard outline of his dick stimulated all your right places. Apparently he was generously endowed, and with that you had knowledge about something you were sure a good percentage of their fan population would want to know.

"Taehyung!", you screamed as you felt yourself gushing down there. Your panties were ruined and you could smell your arousal clear in the air.

"Properly!", he scolded, clutching your jaw in his hand. "I'm older than you."

"Taehyung oppa...", you trailed off as one more thrust made you topple off the edge. "Aahhhh.", you moaned as spasms after spasms of uncontrollable pleasure fired your nerve endings, your orgasm crashing through you out of left feild.

A first off. It usually took you at least thirty minutes to come by your own fingers and he hadn’t even touched you and you had went off in two.

He gave you no time to be mortified though.

When you finally opened your eyes after coming down from your orgasm induced high, you saw Taehyung smirking down at you. He clearly wasn't done with you yet.

"That's one out of the way. Shall we focus on making you come again now, Ms.___?", he asked, trailing his hands under your shirt before pulling it over your head. 

The cool air on your naked breasts made you shiver. So did his reverent gaze. You hadn't been wearing a bra. 

“Fuck. Such a tease. I knew you were purposefully driving me wild." He unhooked the belt on your short shorts, then proceeded to pull them off you, leaving you in your panties. "All these shorts and mini skirts. And don't get me started on those crop tops. I’ve wanted you beneath me since the first moment you stepped inside our dorm, all awkward, clumsy and so fucking sexy I could barely restrain myself from eating you out in front of my members.”

“I’m not gonna restrain myself now.” He hovered over you now, scooping down for a quick kiss as you still couldn't feel your limbs after the earth shattering climax. "Tell me you want this,__." , he pleaded desperately against your lips. "Please. I'll go insane if you stop me right now."

You pulled his shirt over his head in response, trailing both your hands down his toned chest and abdomen. "I want this.", you whispered just as urgently.

"Good girl." He moved your panties to the side, abruptly entering one long finger inside you. You grabbed at his hand as your eyes rolled back in your head when he sought and found your g-spot in less than a second, pressing against it in a circular motion. 

His head swooped down covering you nipple with bites and nibbles. He took one in his mouth, suckling for a minute before doing the same to your other breast. Both his finger and his mouth were sending you to heaven.

He was good at multitasking. 

Not wanting to be a passive lover, you pushed your hands inside his sweatpants and boxers, taking his thick cock in both your hands. He was rock hard and hot as you stroked his long length up and down.

"Fuck, baby.", he groaned against your breasts, his rhythm faltering between your legs. He sat back up and pulled your hands out of his pants.

"What?", you whined. He pecked your lips.

"I won't last long if you continue that. When I come it'll be inside you." 

With those words he moved between your knees, pulling his own finger out of you. Only to replace it with his hot mouth on your core. 

"Oppaaa!" Dizzying pleasure overwhelmed you when he caressed your sensitive clit with his tongue in a manner that told you he wanted to take his time enjoying eating your pussy. One finger circled your entrance delicately, only pushing inside shallowly to make you keen with wanting something to fill you up asap. Preferably his engorged cock. 

“Your pussy tastes divine,__. I could spend hours between your legs.” A wide lick up your inner labia punctuated his praise of your cunt. Then he went exploring, parting your folds to go deeper, to the parts of you no one, including you, had ever even thought to stimulate. Pulling apart your labia with his fingers, he tongued your urethra, digging at a hole too small to penetrate and a shock of forbidden sensation jolted through you. 

“Taehyung! What are you—”

“Do you squirt, baby?”

You peeped down at him, your heaving breasts small mountains of obstruction to your line of sight. He grinned against your pussy, a mischievous glint in his eyes setting you on edge.

“N-no, I haven’t before.”

“Great.” He gave your cunt an open mouthed smooch. “Lets see if you can.”

With one thumb he pulled back the hood of your clit, exposing the sensitive bundle to his hungry gaze. Two fingers slid inside your entrance with a slick sound, thrusting in and out, making you clench yourself around his digits. Then the torture began.

He would lick your clit till you felt your high approaching, his fingers exerting the exact amount of pressure on your g-spot as he drove them in you in shallow thrusts. Just when you started spasming around his fingers, he would slow them down, a smirk on his face as he abandoned your clit for the tiny hole hidden deep in your folds. And a different kind of sensation would assault you, a pleasure-pressure you associated when you wanted to pee real bad but couldn’t. 

“Tae! Oppa, I don’t- I wanna—“, you cried for something, you didn’t even know what. “Please!”

Then he backed off, and repeated the whole thing all over again. By the third time, you were a sobbing mess, tears running down your temples from the way he denied your orgasm multiple times. 

Grabbing his thick hair in tufts, you made him look up at you. “No no. Tae please, let me come.”

He tsked, pouting. “I will, Ms.__. But you taste so fucking sweet I just can’t help delaying the inevitable.”

“You can eat me out anytime, alright!”, you almost shouted at his cavalier tone. “Just let me come right now.”

Taehyung brightened up at that, like you’d just handed him a trophy. “I’m gonna hold you to that, Ms __. Don’t think you can back off later.”

“Whatever. Just make me come!”

He happily dove back down, fucking you with his finger with a renewed vigour as he finally took your clit in his mouth instead of giving it teasing licks. 

“Oh, fuck, yes!”

That forbidden, delicious pressure built again, peaking into a crescendo as Taehyung pressed your every right pleasure point, his fingers thrusting into your pussy with a rough speed that sent you to heaven on earth. 

“Tae, I’m gonna— Oh my god!”

Taehyung pulled his head back at the last minute, watching with a delighted groan as your abused pussy gushed clear liquid in quick streams, drenching you and the carpet below as your hips involuntary lifted with spasms. 

“Fuck, that is such a pretty sight. I knew I could make you squirt.”

Taehyung pulled his fingers out of you abruptly, rushing to shuck his pants and boxers. Evidently, he’d had enough of neglecting his own needs. He lined up against your well lubricated opening while you were still coming down from your climax. 

He didn't give you a moment to breathe before he pushed inside. Seating himself inside you completely, bottoming out and stuffing you so full, you twitched when the smouldering embers of pleasure flared up in your core again. 

"You're so fucking tight,__.", he exclaimed. Even after two orgasms your walls clasped around him greedily, making him throb inside your tight sheath. 

"Baby.", he called turning your face up with a hand on your chin. His fingers smelled like your arousal. Desire reflected in both your gazes. "Keep your eyes on me while I fuck you.”, he commanded, slowly pulling his thick length out of you, only to glide back in with a satisfied grunt. “I want it rough, is that okay?”

"Yes, oppa." You clutched his back, your nails digging in as he increased his speed. Overstimulation making you more desperate, you moved your pelvis along with his, meeting each and everyone of his downward thrusts. It was frenzied attempt to reach the fastest route to the finish. He gripped your hips harshly, leveraging himself with his feet to fuck down into you with brisk precision. 

Taehyung made sure to go in deep though, letting you feel the tip of his cock against your cervix with every drive of his hips, pummelling your cunt into complete submission. 

Your foreheads touching, you breathed each other's air, never breaking eye contact. 

"You look so beautiful underneath me, baby.", he grunted. "So wet yet so tight. You're gripping me so tight...", his words turned into incoherent, half complete whispers and sweet nothings. He thrusted in you with lightening speed now, both of you so close to finishing. 

"I-I'm gonna...", you gasped feeling herself losing control once again.

"No. Wait for me. Together baby." 

You wrapped your legs around Taehyung, clenching your core muscles to delay your climax. "Faster, oppa.", you moaned. 

"Almost." He thrusted twice. "There." One more time. "Now, __.”

You let yourself go. At the same time you felt Taehyung come as he emptied himself inside of you. He groaned your name like a plea, slowing down. 

You raked your nails down his back, aftershocks coursing through your every nerve. You felt like a limp noodle and you weren’t sure you’d ever be able to walk again.

Taehyung slumped down on top of you, his warm comforting weight felt relaxing. Lips moving on your neck as he leisurely gave you a few loving kisses. 

After a minute he spoke. 

"I hope you're on birth control."

Oh shit.

[jamiebluewind]

A Story On Life and Death and Funerals

Yall ever have the conversation with someone? The one when you admit outloud what you would want done when you die? I did. More than once to a variety of people. The reason I'm bringing it up is that I had a bit of a reminder today as to why it's important.

Today I was in therapy. This was only my second visit with her since I moved here, so we are still covering a lot of the basics. The subject got on my mamaw (southen word for grandmother). The woman who I had thought of as a mother and often introduced me as her youngest daughter or her baby. She live next door to me most of my childhood and I practically lived at her house. I loved her. So very much. The only person who liked me as I was. She put aside time every day to work on spelling and reading with me. In fact, all her hard work and patience with me is part of the reason it took so long for anyone to realize that the girl with some of the highest grades in class had dyslexia and minor dyscalcula (near perfect scores every test and assessment, but flunked pop quizes)! It turned out she had it herself, recognized it in me, and knew that getting frustrated and giving up would only make things harder when what I truly needed was to read every day. She taught me how to bake tea cakes and play with recipes. To always be kind to others, unless they gave you a reason not to and then you give um hell! To be myself (as long as it doesn't hurt you or anybody else), even if other people think it's weird. She was a white Christian woman from the deep south who played basketball with boys back in the 1930s and 1940s, got an education, built bombs during the war, was the first woman in her (very large) family to get a driver's license and own her own car, made more money than her husband (they were far from rich, but they worked hard, managed their money, and used their skills to make their lives better than people with twice as much) and would shut him down when he tried to control the house or what she did, built a picnic table in her own yard to feed the hobos (homeless people who road the trains) when she could afford it, had black friends who she would invite over to share a homecooked meal while segregation was still in full swing, made sure that their dogs always ate and were cared for, sewed simple shorts and tank tops using fabric scraps to give to neighborhood kids to play in, would skip church if someone was sick or just needed her help, ripped her brother-in-law a new one in the late 70s/early 80s when he tried to disown her nephew for coming out as gay (it didn't matter who he loved, he was still his son) and then stormed off to go comfort the boy, sang in a quartet and played piano and guitar, gardened most of her life (a huge vegetable garden with her family and a plot of various flowers, despite people calling them pointless), and on and on. A thousand things big and small that got her called weird (and worse). This woman who taught me so much through words and actions and never forgot my birthday (she made me a strawberry cake every year and when she got to old to bake she bought one and when she couldn't get out to do that, she got me a strawberry snackcake somehow) even when everybody else did... she was the best thing in my life for a long long time.

But I was "just" a grandkid. Despite all our history. Just a grandkid. Despite the fact that when she had a stroke when I was a teenager (15 or 16 I think?), I was the one who fought to keep her out of a nursing home and stayed with her 24/6 with no help for two months (caring for her, doing physical therapy with her, and crashing and sleeping the whole day somebody took over for me) and 3 to 4 days a week for months after that (she got an aid that came by a few hours in the mornings during the week to help out and two of her kids started taking one to three days a week each) until she recovered enough to live in her own home for years, dying in a retirement home 12 or 13 years later. Despite her and I having a long conversation about what we both wanted to happen after we died. Just. A. Grandkid. She got the funeral they wanted. I wasn't included in the talks or even allowed to tell them what she told to me. They didn't even let me give them her favorite socks (knee high fuzzy striped socks that made her laugh because she thought they made her look like the wicked witch) to put in her casket.

The funeral has lots of cut flowers instead a few simple ones. It lasted nearly 3 hours (Southern Baptist and the time does not count the viewing) with an introduction, a group that sang hymns at multiple intervals (including one longer set), multiple group prayers, a group hymn, two in church sermons, the church presenting a gift to the family, and a graveside sermon (no drive as the grave was beside the church) instead of something that was under an hour (because some people have bad backs, some people are old, kids get figity, and it's already hard enough on the family). They focused heavily on religion and how godly she was (even saying she put god first and family second which would have made her roll over in her grave) and gave the family a Bible with her name on it (as the family suggested despite her skipping church as much as her daugher would let her the last 3 years because it exhausted her too much). Her grandson-in-law gave the second sermon and after more talk of how religious she was and how closely she followed the Bible (the same woman that was proud of me for arguing with the preacher on bible logic when I was little, supported her gay nephew, and said it was fine for a couple who made each other happy to live together because there were more important things in life than a piece of paper), he inserted the only story told about her life which was bits and pieces about when she built the table for the homeless men (a story he heard from me) as an example of what a godly woman she was, with added embelishments, alterations, omitions, and a big part about her being called to do it by god (she did it in part because her husband was a hobo for a short time years before they met, part because nobody else would do it, and part out of pure spit for saying she couldn't). She wanted something that focused on her life and her family with a prayer and a couple songs mixed in and a few words from the preacher to comfort those left and hurting. A big potluck before or after the funeral for people to just talk and laugh and comfort each other.

But the truth is, I don't know everything she would have wanted. I don't know what might have changed in the ~5 years since we had talked about it, how well the memory aged for me, or if my memory was clouded by my own biases. I know she picked out a dress and told her daughter, but not me. I know there is probably more.

Then I started thinking about what I had said to her that night on the couch when we talked about what we would want to happen after we died. That me from just a decade ago is not the me today. Some of the things I wanted are the same. Some have changed. Some are things I would actually NOT want to happen at all! So maybe, just maybe, a version of my mamaw wanted that funeral at some point. Perhaps she told her kids years ago, before her stroke (which took the dexterity in her dominant hand and gave her a strong slur, making it hard for people to understanding her words or have the patience to wait for them). Maybe that's the real reason why it all played out like it did. But they don't know. And I don't know. And everybody has hurt feelings over it.

So, tonight I mentioned what I wanted when I died to my best friend because it was on my mind. I went about my day and my evening, but as I was getting ready for bed, I realized something. I had made the same mistake. I have people who know what past me wanted, know what current me wants, and think they know what current me would want, but none of them are exactly right or completely wrong or even know all the information. It's not all in one place and memories can fade with time.

So think about what you want to happen instead of placing it all on your grieving family and the mourner's version of a used car saleman. Open up a dialogue. And most importantly, create a living will (so family won't have to guess for end of life care) and share copies of it with your doctor and family (updating as needed such as if you move to a different state or your wishes change) and have your wishes (for what you want to happen after you die) in writing on a seperate thing from your will (which is often not located and read until most of the decisions have already been made), share copies with relevant people (or look into services that will give it to them after your death or email copies to a list of people), keep a copy in a folder with other important documents (like your living will, last will and testameny, titles, mortgage papers, and such), and make sure to check it (a reminder can help) every so often (once a year or once ever ten years, as long as you do it) to make sure nothing has changed, needs to be added, or no longer applies. An expression of funeral wishes is not legally binding (like a relative I knew that wanted one that would have left two well stocked small flower shops practically empty), but they are better than having nothing and your grieving family fighting over guesswork.

So... yeah. Don't be afraid to do it or worried about what it means or feel like it's too depressing to think about. Better you than them.

[lovemesomesurveys]

What do you have pierced? My earlobes.  How do you spend your summer nights? Just like any other night, but with me complaining about how hot it is. If you could spend a week anywhere in the world, where would it be and why? Oooh. Somewhere like Bora Bora or something. Somewhere relaxing by a gorgeous beach far, far away from here. Would you take anyone with you? My family. What is your preferred writing implement? (eg. Blue pen, pencil, green pen) Black pen. Favourite month and why? October and December for the weather and holidays and just everything.

What brand logo is closest to you currently? Apple. Last person you talked to, and through what you talked to them. My dad in person.  What’s the best job you’ve ever had? I’ve never had a job. What’s the worst job you’ve ever had? What email service do you use? Yahoo. Is there anything hanging on the walls of the room you are currently in? Yes, a few things. What did you have for dinner yesterday? Lasagna.  Have you had other blogs on Tumblr? I have this one, which is my side blog, and then my main one. Do you have any other blogs currently? Nope. What fandoms would you consider yourself a part of? A few. Do you use anything on your lips? (eg. Chapstick, gloss, balm, lipstick) EOS.  What things annoy you more than anything else. Eating sounds for one. Gahhh. What kind of position are you in at the moment? I’m sitting with my legs to the side. Do you wear much jewellery? I don’t wear any. How many times have you moved house? Only once I’m old enough to remember, but I think like 3 or 4 in total. How many devices do you own which can access the internet? 3 things which are just mine, but then there’s also my brother’s PS4 and Xbox that I use sometimes.  Is there is anything that is guaranteed to always make you happy? My doggo always puts a smile on my face. What colour pants/skirt/etc are you currently wearing? I’m wearing brown leggings. When was the last time you drank water? Like 20 minutes ago. Have you ever tried the cinnamon challenge? Nooo.  Are you listening to music right now? No. I’m watching, Whose Line is it Anyway? Do you like maxi dresses? No. Was the last person you talked to in person related to you? Yes. Will you keep your last name when you get married? I don’t plan on getting married. Would you rather have orange juice or milk with your breakfast? Ew, neither. Always coffee. What are your plans for your next birthday? That’s a little less than 2 weeks away, actually. I want to go somewhere beachy.  Have you ever been called a tease? Yes. I was like wow, wtf? I don’t how I was the tease. I wasn’t the one playing him or stringing him along.  Are you a dark-haired, dark-eyed person? Yes.  Are you so flexible that you can put your feet behind your head? No. Would you rather watch basketball or play basketball? Neither. Do you like fish or chicken more? Chicken all the way. I hate seafood. What color are your eyes? Brown. What scares you more: snakes or spiders? lasfjskflskdfs BOTH, but I have a lot more encounters with spiders. Has anyone told you they missed you lately? No. What’s your middle name? Do you have any siblings? Yes, 2 brothers. What are you doing right now? This and watching Whose Line is it Anyway? Have you ever liked someone but were afraid to tell them? Yeah, that’s how it usually went. Are your lips chapped at the moment? No. When was the last time you were in a car with someone besides family? Like 4 years ago. What are you wearing on your feet? Socks. Think back to August, were you in a relationship? No. What kind of shoes did you wear today? I didn’t wear any today. Do you currently have a hickey? No. What color is your hair naturally? Dark brown. Does anyone ever spell your name wrong? Rarely people will spell "Stephanie" with an F. <<<  Do you think that texting on a date is rude? Absolutely. If they’re just texting and on their phone the whole time then I really don’t even need to be there. How old do you look? I think I look like I’m in my early 20s. Look in your inbox, who’s your last message from? My brother. What are you doing tomorrow? Nothing. What’s the weather like? Hot. Do you have any fun plans for tomorrow? You just asked me what I was doing tomorrow, to which I said, “nothing.” What was the highlight of your week? It’s only Monday.

[hetbigbang]

D-DAY IS HERE

IT'S DEADLINE DAY!!

Art and Fics Due - September 26th, 11:59 PM (Midnight) PST (here is a timezone converter.) ~ We can't wait to see what you all have created and can't wait to share it with everyone! IMPORTANT NOTE: I will be sending out emails to our artists who were willing to pinch hit art, as we have one outstanding art claim, and we may delay Debut Day if it is not picked up. (There may also be a slight delay because the mods are sick and in school, but we are doing our best not to let that happen!) POSTING: In case you need a hand with posting or last minute questions, check under the cut for a rundown on how to post your final works to the 2018 Collection.

POSTING REQUIREMENTS Where do we post our completed fics? We are using AO3 collections, with the deadline for submission as September 26th, and the reveal date of October 1st. You can post them up early!! Post them up now, if you want! You can also post your fics anywhere else you like, just don't post them anywhere before the Debut Date. Everyone who has signed up for this challenge should have an AO3 account, but if you don't, you can still sign up. You can ask a friend for an invite code, or you can request from A03 here or at

ao3_invitecodes. If you are unfamiliar with it, here is the FAQ of AO3. Do not publish your fic for everyone to see at AO3. Instead, submit it for our 2018 collection. Only the author of a work can add it to a collection, and then the mods approve it and we'll reveal it on the Debut Date. Once you've done that, we are also asking you to drop an email to thehetbigbang [at] gmail dot com when you submit your work to A03, with the following information: Email Subject Line: (Fic or Art Submission. YOUR NAME.)

AO3 Name/LJ Name: (both) Fandom: Pairing: Artwork or Fic: (artwork for "Title of Fic, by Author") or (Fic: "Title, rating, and word count. Big Bang or Little Bang.") Summary: (if applicable.)

Further Posting guidelines below. (The pics used are for the old 2012 submissions, but just mentally adjust for 2018.) 1. Sign up for A03. You can ask a friend for an invite code, or you can request from A03 here or at

ao3_invitecodes. 2. DO NOT POST YOUR FICS/ARTS SO THAT THE GENERAL PUBLIC CAN SEE THEM. Double check after posting to make sure it doesn't get posted to the general audience. If it does, delete the work and start over. Instead, you need to allow the mods to collect your fic/arts so that we can reveal everything together on October 1st. Go here, to the 2018 Het Big Bang Collection, and go the "Post to Collection" button in the top right corner. The collection is currently open, moderated and unrevealed.

This will bring you to the normal template where you submit your fic/artwork. In the first block, you fill out all the tags: fandom, warnings, ratings, characters, pairings, additional tags, etc. In the second block, you fill out the preface information, including title, summary, and author's notes. 2a. For Artist: your summary line should include your author's name and the title of their story (if you know it). 3. In the third block, for "Associations" make sure the line for "Post to Collections/Challenges" lists "Het_Big_Little_Bang_Challenge_2018."

3a. For Artists: the next line, "Gift this work to:" should be filled out as well. Artist, you know your Author's A03 name, which should have been provided to you through your emails. If for some reason it was not, please contact your authors and get this name from them. Fill in the "Gift this work to:" line with your author's name. That will link your artwork to them. After the submissions have gone live on the Debut Date, we would like you to go back and edit your submission to add in a link to the specific story you created your artwork for. But until the entire big bang goes public, the main way you'll attach your artwork to the piece will be by identifying the author through gifting. When you finally get the chance to link to the story, edit your submission and use the HTLM coding: <*a href="INSERT THE URL HERE">Title, by Author. (Remove the *) You can put this in your author's note or summary. 3b. For Authors: After the submissions have gone live on the Debut Date, we would need you to go back and edit your submission to add in a link to the specific artwork that was created for your story. You don't have to "Gift this work to:" to the artist, but it'd be neat if you wanted to do so. When you finally get the chance to link to the artwork, edit your submission and use the HTLM coding: <*a href="INSERT THE URL HERE">Title, by Artist. (Remove the *) You can put this in your author's note or summary. 4. Formatting and coding guidelines are important. 4a. For Artists: AO3 video embeds are working from Youtube, Vimeo, blip.tv, Dailymotion, Viddler, Metacafe, and 4shared. So if you have a video, you upload it to Youtube for example, and then embed into an AO3 post. For images like artwork and icons and banners and cover art, use the <*img src="INSERT YOUR URL HERE"> HTML coding (remove the *). You can first upload your images at Tinypic or imgbox or a similar image hosting website, and then make an A03 post with the HTML coding. (*NOTE: As of 2017, photobucket no longers allows you to post and link without paying big bucks, so avoid photobucket.) 5. Submit your fic/artwork. You need to make sure when you hit "Post" that you see this text at the top of the resulting page:

"This work is part of an ongoing challenge and will be revealed soon! You can find details here: Het Big/Little Bang Challenge 2018"

6. Now, your fic should NOT be displayed to the general audience. It might not even show up on your dash, but fear not. You can still edit, add new chapters, mess around with it to your heart's content. We, the mods, unfortunately do not have access to your story. We cannot tell if it is properly formatted or not. THIS IS FRUSTRATING, but there's nothing we can do about it. We can only see your name. All works are titled "Mystery Works" until we reveal the entire big bang. So, please make sure your own fic is properly formatted. If you need to edit your fic, login and go to your dashboard. Go to the "Edit Works" button in the top right corner. From there, you can edit your works.

A03 will require you to format a header with all regular information on it. Remember to properly tag your works, including appropriate warnings. Both HTML and Rich Text are supported, and you can edit/delete, have multiple chapters, etc... 1. The Rich Text Editor lets you add formatting, links and pictures to text without using HTML tags. It also has an option for pasting from Word which will preserve some of your Word formatting, although please note that this is buggy. The Rich Text Editor is only available for your work text. 2. The HTML editor allows you to change the look of your text with HTML tags. It can be used in any place you can submit text, although some fields permit only a small subsection of allowed tags. You can see a full list of the allowed HTML on the Archive FAQ, but the standard HTML tags is as follows: b, big, blockquote, br, caption, center, datetime, div, dl, dt, em, h1, h2, h3, h4, h5, h6, height, hr, href, i, img, ins, small, span, src, strike, strong, sub, sup, table, u, and more. Also, a few years ago,

anr was a saint and provided you with a post that explained "how to format a fic for posting in less than 30 seconds no matter the story length or amount of formatting" trick. The mods won't be overly picky about formatting. I'd prefer for all dividers and scene breaks to use <*hr> (remove the *) which creates a horizontal line that serves perfectly as a scene break. However, that's optional. You choose your own way to format. Other optional suggestions, just for uniformity sake's: How do I do Chapter Titles: Bold 'em. How do I timestamp and do locations: Italicize the dates and locations. How do I do subtitle stuff: Italicize it. There is only one major fail regarding format, and that has to do with paragraphs breaks. There must be a full line break between paragraphs. Example of doing it wrong:

Chapter One: The Invasion March 6, 2005 - The City of Atlantis Elizabeth ducked quickly behind a console and attempted to catch her breath. A flush of pink colored her cheeks and a thin sheen of sweat had appeared on her brow. If the situation weren't so dire, John would have been turned on. As it was, however, he couldn't give it much thought as he had to focus on the batch of Ancient zombies that were slowly staggering in through the Stargate. "At least they can't run," he offered lamely. Elizabeth spared him a glare. "Why can't they run?" "I don't know." John shrugged. "But they never seem to run. They always lurch. Maybe when they're brought back to life they don't get knees?"

Example of doing it right:

Chapter Two: Ancient Ex-Girlfriends Yes, They're Zombies Too Elizabeth peeked around the consol. "Oh, my god," she breathed. "Is that--" "Chaya?!" John squeaked. "Talk about creepy ex-girlfriends." Rodney scrunched his nose. "She doesn't look good in green." John cringed and crouched down lower. "Do you think she's their leader?" Elizabeth looked thoughtful. "Well, this may be better for us." She narrowed her eyes at John. "We can give them you in trade for a cease fire--" Something caught her attention behind John and she broke off. "No, wait. Look to the left! That's... oh, god, John. That's Teer!" John and Rodney stared in disbelief. "Damn you, Kirk!" Rodney groused, and hit John upside the head. "We're going to be killed by a legion of your dead ex-girlfriends!" "Okay, everybody calm down," John soothed. "Let's not overreact and go blaming--" "Hey, look, your ex-wife!" "What?!!"

Grammar and Spelling fail: If your fic doesn't look beta'ed, we will call you on it, which will create an AWKWARD situation for both of us. Having a beta is a REQUIREMENT. Grammar, spelling, proper paragraph structure, etc... these are all REQUIREMENTS. You need to give your beta ample opportunity to go over your fic for mistakes and edits, so remember to factor that into your deadline. Don't have a beta? Check out this post!

Can I post it to my journal a few days early to show my friends? No. The first time you show your fic for this big bang must be on Debut Day, on this comm. Mods will handle the revealing details. There will be more posts on that to come. Once the Big Bang collection goes live on Oct 1, feel free to post your stuff wherever. Also, please remember that extensions for final fic and art submissions will not be granted. Please make sure your stories and art are submitted no later than September 26th. If you absolutely cannot make it, contact a mod immediately - either via email at thehetbigbang [at] gmail.com, or on the Page-A-Mod post, or PM

red_b_rackham or

traycer_. Lastly, remember if you need some to cry, scream, flail, yell triumphantly, encourage, cheerlead, etc, don't hesitate to check out the support comm and throw up some posts for each other!

YOU'RE ALMOST THERE!!

from Het Big Bang https://ift.tt/2zwUXAi via IFTTT

[duncanjyc]

Finding Past Connections - Volume 10

Every once in a while a surprise happens. Last week Dr. Dave, a colleague of mine from my first job (he went back to medical school), reached back to me (some weeks after I had left his office a message … and then another). He texted me that he has been super busy with his practice and volunteering at vaccination clinic(s) while I gather also welcoming his 3rd grandchild. One of the funniest and hardworking people I have ever worked with, I am more than willing to wait to reconnect with Dr. Dave. At this point, we are tentatively scheduled to talk in 4-6 weeks.

==============================

Sometimes it is just too hard to pick up the phone and call someone out of the blue. One case is a classmate from University, Arthur.

I wasn’t looking for Arthur but another classmate (also Art), said that I used to hang out with the other Arthur (news to me). So, out of curiousity, I searched linkedin in… nada. Maybe I had the name wrong – I figured there were 4-10 variations on the last name spelling possible, but I seem to remember one because it didn’t make sense given where he came from, Regina, Sask. I searched Facebook. Nothing. Name could still be wrong. Mr. Google provided nothing.

I recalled that the family owned a bowling alley and a car wash (weird prairie conglomerate?). I searched for these with the name I thought it was and nothing came up. I took out the name and an article from 2010 about a historic bowling alley being demolished appeared. Always curious about historic buildings, I opened the article to read about Arthur being interviewed, mentioning a steer getting loose and running down one of the lanes. "The Leader-Post actually interviewed my father and I remember him making the comment that we wouldn't let [the steer] bowl because he refused to wear bowling shoes." Sounds like the family. I had the spelling correct, by the way.

I then researched the name again with the bowling alley name and a telephone number appeared. Honestly, I don’t recall much about Arthur, so why reach out to him? Can’t think of a good enough reason.

==================================

The search for Moira (part 3, I think)

I searched Google for Moira (first and last name) + Toronto; Nothing, again - no surprise there. I then clicked on images and up popped an old Toronto Biking Network magazine. That is interesting.

I scanned through the first few pages before I reached the directory of volunteers on page 9, and there was her name and an email! Oh, wait a second, that is a generic TBN email. Not very likely that this email works.

I found a way to open up other TBN magazines on-line (randomly putting in dates in the existing format from the first issue found) and she was mentioned in all the publications I found up to around 2011, when a self-penned retirement letter was written noting that she was passing on the role to a Fred L. Unfortunately, he too used the same email, confirming that it wouldn’t be directed to her. Also, I did find a couple of group pictures including one with the acknowledgment, 'Moira’s sister.' The black and white pictures were so grainy I couldn’t tell if it was her or not. Could be… but since I hadn’t seen her in 30+ years, who am I to tell.

So, what to do next? Well, at least I knew she was still in Toronto 10 years ago, biked, skated and still had her maiden name. Getting closer.

To be continued.

[lazuliblade]

History of YOI fandom

As a YOI fandom grandparent, I felt it was my duty to write out all the fandom explosions for the newer fans who weren’t there to witness the big bang and gradual week-by-week creation of this universe. All the arguments, people blowing things out of proportion, blaming characters, death theories, awesome fans clearing up miscommunications, YOI breaking the internet... 

This isn’t a post to call out specific people on their arguments and theories - I’ll stay respectfully away from restarting flames and picking fights, thankyouverymuch. Rather, this is an overview of the topics and conflicting views that swept across hundreds and thousands of people and prompted strong reactions. I’m doing this now, because I know that 6 months later, 1 year later, 3 years later, etc. there will be new fans who will have many of the same exact arguments. We’ve been there and done that. I see fans now who say things without knowing where the spelling/quote comes from, or who don’t realize how much has changed, or don’t know why there are certain perceptions of characters. So here’s a little bit of passing down history.

I also don’t want to forget the crazy ride this was. Laugh with me at the silly theories; smile with me at how deeply YOI has impacted our lives. For those of us old-timers, let’s take a trip down memory lane. Remember when...

---------------- (Large arguments will be italicized or bold. Special thanks to @sachiro for reminding me of a bunch of stuff I missed, and looking over the draft in its various stages of being written and edited.)

Pre-series

Idea that there would be a love triangle (Yuri P.--Yuri K.--Victor)

Some fans started spelling Yuri Katsuki with two “u” in order to tell them apart.

Victuri ship name created for Victor x Yuri K. (in a comment to the PV)

The title

“lol ‘Yuri’ on Ice? Where are all the lesbians?”

“When it said Yuri on Ice, I thought we would get girls. Y’know what I mean?”

“Yuri on Ice? More like Yaoi on Ice! amiright?”

etc.

J.J. misspelling (English spelling “Jean Jack” instead of French Canadian “Jean-Jacques”)

you can see the remnants of this in the audience banners during the episodes, but it was corrected to “Jean-Jacques” on the official website and the in-show text

Phichit x Seung-gil ship created (there was more art for this than for Victor x Yuuri)

Episode 1

Victor vs. Viktor spelling arguments 

Although “Victor” is the official spelling and seen in-show, people argued that the creators are wrong and that we fans know better than them about Russian culture - thus the “Viktor” spelling was born.

People argued back that spelling is subjective and you can spell a name multiple ways and still be correct - thus transliterating his Russian name into English as “Victor” would be just as acceptable.

The YOI wiki held fast for a time on using official spellings and information from the official website, but the transition of power led to a new team that started using agreed-upon info rather than solely using official info. “Viktor” replaced “Victor” on the website.

this change from “Victor” to “Viktor” on the wiki happened around episode 2~3, but the arguments were in the page comments since episode 1 -- with moderators explaining their reasoning with sticking to official sources.

Victor is a flirtatious over-the-top character who will seduce Yuuri

Victor is the overwhelming seme and Yuuri is the shy whimpering uke.

People dropping the anime because Yuuri is overweight; people commenting that they don’t want to see an overweight main character

in addition, some people dropping YOI due to feeling that the series was “fat shaming” by using Yuuri’s weight as a point of comedy.

Conversely, some people praising that we have a main character that gains weight and actually has an overweight appearance. 

“Japanese Yuri” &“Russian Yuri” or “Yuri K.” &“Yuri P.” were used to differentiate between the two characters since they shared the same official English spelling “Yuri”.

Starting with ep1, “Yuuri” spelled with two “u” became more widespread due to convenience when typing.  

Japanese fandom simply used kanji for Yuri Katsuki and katakana for Yuri Plisetsky. 

Some fans argue that Yuuri is more correct because in Japanese his name is ゆうり(yu-u-ri). Other fans argue that “Yuri” is still acceptable transliteration because there are multiple spelling systems (Hepburn, etc.) and an alternative correct spelling would be with a macron (Yūri).

Fans point out that Yuri’s name would be spelled “Yuri” in official documents anyway due to lack of macrons on many keyboards.

Spoilers for episodes 1-3 were out because of the two Western fans who witnessed the first three episodes of YOI in a Tokyo preview screening.

fans relied on a certain blogger for info on YOI. 

“WHERE DID YOU SEE EPISODES 2&3???” was asked every 5-10 minutes (literally) and became an inside joke with us old-timers.

Yuuri = Yuzuru Hanyu, Victor = Evgeni Plushenko.

Some fans link characters with real-life skaters to encourage anime fans to watch real skating. 

Some fans saw these as one-to-one connections without considering that characters are a mix of various real-life skaters, and then went onto YouTube videos and spammed about “real-life Yuuri.” 

YOI fans being rude to skaters and sending emails to ship these real-life skaters (emails sent even to skaters who are married with kids)

Amazing researching fans:

find Victor’s apartment and the beach from the ending credits Instagram roll.

Love hotel

Makkachin’s name found in magazine Yuko was holding 

speculation starts on what “Makkachin” means and how it should be transliterated (Makkatine, Mocatine, Makkatin, etc.)

Comparisons of Yuuri to the main character from Parasyte due to similar appearances (Tadashi Hiramatsu, the character designer who adapted Kubo-sensei’s initial designs for animating, was the main character designer for Parasyte).

Speculation on the year in-series starts. 

Yoyogi for Worlds doesn’t match with Sochi as the GPF location.

Yuuri’s iPhone model is seen as a clue.

“Yuri on Ice” trends for 6 days on Tumblr

Episode 2

Victor is manipulative:

He’s a playboy and flirting all the time 

In episode 1 Minako mentions that he is desired by millions. 

His wink in episode 1 shows that he casually flirts with fans.

He will break Yuuri’s heart. He came to romance Yuuri, then drop him later.

He’s already pushing into Yuuri’s space with the chin-touching. That MUST mean he’s suave and planning to seduce and drop him.

“Victor calling him ‘piglet’ is so mean!” -- an extension to the fat shaming debate of episode 1.

Yakov’s angry comment to the press = more fodder about Victor being selfish and only there in Hasetsu for his own pleasure.

Victor is horrible because he broke his promise to Yurio x-number of years ago.

All of his happy smiles are a facade and he can’t actually be that nice. 

Counterarguments to trust the creators and wait to see more about these characters because it’s only been 2 episodes.

Koibito translation nitpicking (it’s not “girlfriend,” Victor is saying “lover.” It’s a gender-neutral term.)

people calling this queerbaiting

“It can’t get any gayer!” line starts to make its appearance.

Ship name “Victuri” cemented. “Victuri sounds like victory!”

Arguments about spelling it “victuuri,” because of the trend with spelling Yuri K.’s name as Yuuri to differentiate the two Yuri’s. 

Counterarguments that “Victurio” would be for Yuri Plisetsky, so therefore “Victuri” would be fine for Yuri Katsuki.

Evgenia Medvedeva starts watching around this time and posts comments on her twitter account.

The livestreaming IRC group is started. There were about 15 people tuning in (this grows to the hundreds by the last episode).

Mira makes her appearance (more of an appearance than the brief flash in ep1). Her name isn’t announced yet so some people nickname her “Natasha” (after the Marvel comics character Natasha Romanova/Black Widow)

Episode 3

Yurio was robbed. 

and all the counterarguments against this.

score calculating posts begin to show up.

“Victor is manipulative” evolves into “Victor is evil” 

“he didn’t keep his promise to Yurio”

people ignoring that he actually did keep his promise to choreograph a program

Eros story Yuuri tells Nishigori = parallel to how Victor will abandon Yuuri in the end. Victor is the evil playboy, confirmed!

People fighting this with meta about how Yuuri is the seductress keeping the playboy, and this was all Yuuri’s interpretation -- Victor may have had another story in mind and we’ll never know what it was. (<---until episode 10)

He forgot Onsen on Ice was about the competition and was there playing around as Hasetsu ambassador. He doesn’t REALLY care about the two Yuri’s.

“he didn’t notice when Yurio left and was having the time of his life with Yuuri on the podium”

Victor’s super-serious expression when Yuuri hugged him means he doesn’t care.

“Make a man pregnant” - the start of the ABO fic influx

“Katsudon ga daisuki da yo” is how we say “I love you” in YOI.

Boyfriend shirt has taken on a new level: boyfriend costume.

Yuuri and genderfluidity 

quite a few fics were spawned from this topic too

YOI is not yaoi -  how genre is not the same as tags. Posts clarifying what yaoi actually is and why Yuri on Ice doesn’t fit that genre at all.

Yuuri getting more confident by episode 3 already - initiating hugs and contact with Victor. “How much more gay can we get!? They already said ‘I love you’!”

Fanfic explosion 

due to Victor’s character being slightly more fleshed out, and the relationship between characters becoming more established

Top!Yuuri starts to make appearances

Going in blind to the episodes from here-on-out because the fan report from the screening was only through episode 3.

Real life skaters are noticing and posting on social media about YOI. 

Evgenia Medvedeva, Denis Ten,  Deniss Vasiļjevs & Stéphane Lambiel, Ashley Wagner, Danny O’Shea and many others from here on. 

Masterpost soon created to document all these skaters.

Kubo-sensei tweets about episode 4 being her favorite

Episode 4

Victor has cancer/is dying.

He was so dramatic and playful when he joked about balding. That means he’s hiding something. Balding = cancer. Therefore Victor is dying! (Note that cancer doesn’t cause balding, although it’s treatment with chemotherapy does.) 

Victor being that out of breath must mean something is wrong.

Victor’s comment about injuries = 

he’s hurt but hiding it

we can expect someone to be injured later

Rise of fanfiction featuring Victor with large past injuries he’s kept hidden.

Celestino getting annoyed at Victor = more fodder for Victor being evil. 

No coach likes him - that means he must be untrustworthy and there must be something that he’s hiding that we don’t know yet.

The Old Man in the onsen becomes a fandom celebrity for a while (captain of the ship)

Victor’s comment on Yuuri’s stamina = fic fodder

“You meet me where I am” - fans exploding at how meaningful this all is and how far they’ve come in four episodes.

“What do you want me to be to you”

---Victor said “koibito” but subs say “boyfriend”

---Daddy kink: “A father--” “Yes!” 

this is when we start to see this kink in fics and fanart/comics

Phichit makes his appearance. Fandom explodes with glee. People pointed out his appearance in episode 1 and more explosions of “no detail left behind”

Aeroflot

Enter Lilia and her teaching Yurio.

Evil Lilia and Yakov

“Yurio should have stayed with Victor”

Kubo-sensei laughs at the rumors of Victor dying.

Everyone and their mother tries to learn to make katsudon - various recipes float around; Crunchyroll releases recipe (Nov 4). 

Jokes and critique about YOI dub (Gru!Victor; Russia(Hetalia)!Victor)

Episode 5

Victor obviously knows no Japanese at all vs. Victor obviously knows a little Japanese after living there for 6 months (about whether or not Victor understood Yuuri’s love declaration due to him commenting about the tie and not the confession)

Fan comics/art and fanfiction about burning Yuuri’s necktie

JARAN jacket (that one scene with Yuuri’s jacket misspelled)

Lots of flailing and dozens of gifs of the lip balm scene

awesome fans finding the exact Chanel lip balm

Yuuri’s confident walk = flailing and keyboard smashing moment (gifs with explosions behind him)

Hug meta (back hug; “do the hands on neck mean anything?”)

Minami is a chicken nugget (McDonald’s colors + being small)

First time we hear Victor’s thoughts - people discussing this

Victor’s image shifts away from “evil Victor” towards something a little more positive

Leaks of the Oh! Skatra!!! Tracklisting (Nov 6).

Duetto title makes people freak out

Speculation on who will skate what piece.

Speculation starts on who will appear in which GP series competition.

Pre-episode 6

Jealous/Possessive!Victor due to the ending image in ep5 of him wrapping his arm around a flustered Yuuri.

speculation on where that is and who took the picture

Dengeki, the website that posts teaser pictures and text of various anime’s next episodes, posted a teaser summary on their site that used quite a few innuendos.

Starting from here, YOI episode previews start to be released later and later. This becomes a running gag among fans who stay up to wait for previews. 

Episode 6

Chris makes everyone uncomfortable.

wet ice comments

People freaking out about the hand holding (“koibito tsunagi/lover’s hold”) then about the lip licking

Victor’s innuendo and lewd mouth animation

Victor actually is sexually attracted to Yuuri

Paired with Yuuri being comfortable with Victor clinging naked to him at the restaurant, and worrying that people would think he’s not serious about the competition = fans arguing how far they’ve gone

Queerbaiting arguments still continue ( “fujoshi bait” and “fanservice”)

“Ai ha katsu” (Love wins!)

Georgi is an Evil Witch

Leo = awesome representation (non-white character representing the U.S.A.)

Phichit meme ( “scandalized” with hand on mouth)

Phichit is captain of the Victuri ship

Kubo-sensei posts summary of The King and The Skater 

Pre episode 7

Dengeki, what in the ever living F is that preview summary (twitter)? Along with the shortened version.

Another preview summary wtheck comment - this time from a YOI animator, Itou Noriko

“Drastic measures”??? Will Victor hug Yuuri? Violence? Harsh words? Kiss on the forehead or MAYBE the cheek?

fanfics, comics, lots of speculation

Episode 7

Kiss vs. Hug

drawings/charts/tracings to prove it was a kiss

queerbaiting comments continue

Western fans ask Kubo-sensei for a direct answer; she’s amused that Japanese fans didn’t need confirmation yet Western fans did

Yuri on Ice trends on Tumblr for two days at #1 (previous episodes had trended in top 3 for about a day).

“Japanese censorship is what made them cover the kiss!” -- and the subsequent posts that stopped this misinformation.

“Victor is evil” continues - he was cruel in the parking garage and the queerbait lip hug was obviously just consolation

Chris, stahp! (more wet ice comments)

Guang-Hong is badass, Leoji ship sails further

Georgi is creepy, some people hate Anya, some feel sympathy for her

Georgi’s outfit = figure-skating Elsa (photoshopped pictures)

Head boop

Aired after the U.S. election - “episode 7 is the only good thing that happened this week”

“YOI singlehandedly saved 2k16”

Watchers dropping the anime because Victuri became canon.

some people liked the anime as long as it was still ambiguous. This kiss/hug scene made it much less ambiguous and left them feeling awkward.

some people liked it as long as the pairing was not mainstream - they liked being a niche shipper.

Conversely, more people started watching once they heard it was canon and not queerbaiting/fan service.

Johnny Weir homage with young Victor’s outfit and rose crown at European Worlds.

Johnny hears of this and adds YOI on his to-watch list.

Kubo-sensei tweets about a certain scene - confirms and does not confirm it as a kiss

pre-Episode 8

Will YOI talk about homophobia and LGBT hatred?

They’re going to Russia next - lots of fanfiction about Victor dealing with past and current homophobia, and how Yuuri and Victor would act during their stay in Russia.

Magazine had the titles for episodes 8 and 9 - “Victor returns to Japan” has people theorize about what could be drastic enough to have him return.

Kubo-sensei strikes again:

tweets about looking forward to Dengeki’s summary this week and ends up trolling the fandom.

being one of us and wanting them to get married already.

Makkachin’s name revealed to have no meaning.

Dengeki posts 5 hours later than normal.

Episode 8

Angry fans yelling “Why didn’t they use this chance to address hatred?”

People arguing about how this is nice because we already have so many other series about hatred and would it kill them to let us have ONE nice thing in life? Let’s just appreciate that we get a happy relationship with no prejudice or hatred from the world for once.

Kubo-sensei defending the hate-free world she created.

Seung-gil feather duster/parrot/swiffer comments and comparisons.

Sala vs Sara

official site and subs romanized her name as “Sala” but a more natural spelling would be “Sara.” (sala means living room in Spanish and Italian) 

wihin the week, the spelling was corrected on both the website and subs to “Sara.”

Mila Babicheva was also changed to Mira Babicheva at this time.

Makkachin-related tags and comments

#Don’t die Makka!

#SaveMakka2k16

#Makkachoked

Speculation on what Yuuri will place - and who will make it to the GPF.

J.J. and the cross - many understood it as a religious motion, but it was soon linked by figure skating fans to Yuzuru’s cross motion to check body axis.

Kissing the ice - seen as “J.J. is so narcissistic and kissing himself,” then disputed by other fans as a sign of respect for the ice much like real-life athletes do with the ice, track&field, and court.

Yurio x J.J. shipping starts

Sub!Victor fanfic boom, BDSM, foot fetish, and other related body worship fics

YOI trends over Barack Obama (Nov 24)

Katsudon recipe released by Funimation on Yuuri’s birthday (Nov. 29)

Preview images for ep9 of Sara encroaching on Yuuri - some people worried that this would be in-series drama or that fans would ship it.

Dengeki still posting way later than they used to. This leads to lots of waiting and loss of hope for future episodes until…

Episode 9

Freaking out over the airport scene:

“What did Yuuri’s tears mean???” 

relieved/touched Victor cares for him and returns feelings? All the emotions catching up from their separation and the hard skating? 

guilt over hiding that he will retire soon? Sadness that this will only last 2 more weeks?

Clarifying why Victor brought up “proposal” (“Why does what Yuuri said sound like a proposal?”)

People “fixing” the subs (mis)translate the word “koto” as if it was the word “mono” and end up making Yuuri’s line to Victor sound super possessive/cheesy as a result.

Yuuri mentioning that he’ll win gold prompts discussions about “Does Yuuri need a gold medal to be happy? Is a gold necessary for his character?”

Fandom exploding over Yurio’s pure smile and friendship with Yuuri

People uneasy over Sara and Michele’s sibling relationship.

Mira x Sara ship gains steam and sets sail.

“Hug zombie” - the term given to Yuuri’s hugging spree

Johnny Weir planned to watch YOI “one episode per day,” but failed and watched two episodes the first day. Then binged the rest within two more days and caught up in time for episode 10 on Wednesday.

Naked Victor on the front page of NBC due to Johnny’s tweets

Crunchyroll releases Katsudon Pirozhki recipe (Dec 7)

pre-Episode 10

“Something round and golden” -- gold medal, wedding rings, cock rings, onion rings, golden snitch

Kubo-sensei fanning the flames

we were losing hope for teasers until... our saviors, Animate, took over for posting them. Dengeki still posted the identical teaser pics on their site, but did so at a later hour.

Preview lines about Yuuri recalling the previous year’s nightmare banquet.

Translation confusion led to people thinking it was a “nightmare bucket” “nightmare baguette” (and other attempts to find the correct foreign word) until someone pointed out that figure skating competitions have banquets.

Theories about what happened at the banquet. 

Episode 10

Rings

Yuuri buying one ring (with Victor buying the other) vs. Yuuri buying pair rings as a set 

would later be confirmed in a magazine post-series that Yuuri bought both rings

Are they really engaged or not?

Best plot twist ever.

The ending changes everything we ever knew about this series 

 people analyzing all the interactions since episode 1

“Poor Victor” comments and tags appear

“Victor was pining all along!”

Victor seen as super patient and willing to let Yuuri drive the pace (because he never brings up the banquet in order to respect Yuuri’s shyness). 

Victor flying to Japan with his dick out. 

Victor had a crush on Yuuri since the beginning.

“Victor is a dork who would do anything for love” mentality sweeps away previous malaise.

fanfic and fanart explosion of dorky, loving Victor 

This is when the loving!Victor image squashed any lingering remnants of evil!Victor 

Eros parallel re-interpreted as Yuuri being the playboy and Victor being the woman seduced and left behind. 

Victor is savage for making a program based on the banquet and thinking to skate it for a season. 

Pole dancers comment that the moves in Yuri on Ice reference actual moves (Yuuri is pretty good and has great grip strength; a couple of Chris’ moves are incredibly hard)

Otayuri (Otabek x Yurio) becomes a pairing

Beach scene discussion - was Victor angry or not, and why?

Hype for Kubo-sensei revealing that the GPF would have the most realistic animation of all the episodes.

Animate posted late (only a few hours before airing), but Dengeki even later.

Episode 11

“Scoring system is broken!”

Yurio’s score is literally impossible using the current real-life ISU scoring system (he’s about 5 points too high)

Yuuri scored low despite low number of technical mistakes

J.J. given a higher score than should be allowed because of his huge errors.

Discussion on Victor looking out at the ice during Yurio’s SP (“what was he thinking?”), and discussion about his flashback and burden

Chris’ mystery man ( “Chris’ boyfriend”? “Who IS that guy???”)

Half the fandom dies with Yuuri’s last sentence; half the fandom trusts Kubo-sensei (and comforts the other half)

Evgenia posts a tweet trusting everything will be alright

People’s view of J.J. changes - some sympathy and “??? I never expected to actually care for this guy!”

It seems everyone pitches their predictions about who will be on the podium.

“Phichit’s hamsters predict the podium?” theory

pre-Episode 12

We give up on teasers because they’re so late. Animate releases them a few hours before the episode airs.

Oh!SkaTra!!! Yuri!!! on ICE Soundtrack released about a day before the final episode aired.

“Spoilers” (but not really, because we had the tracklist since episode 5). We confirm the last two songs are the exhibition skates. People avoid Tumblr until the episode airs because of the “spoiler threat.” 

Episode 12

Breaking Tumblr, Crunchyroll, and Animate.

Crunchyroll released a statement on Twitter about YOI’s high traffic breaking it.

Tumblr crashed (traffic volume too high) right after the CR simulcast/subs came out around 4PM EST. It wasn’t fully fixed until several hours later.

Animate’s website crashed for the same reason as above.

“It wasn’t gay enough”

People feeling disappointed about the relationship between Yuuri and Victor because there was no second kiss or explicit “I love you.” People wanted something that could not be denied (wanted an “uncensored” kiss).

Others counter-argued that relationships can show deep love without needing an “I love you,” and point out how the relationship was built steadily throughout the series.

People feeling betrayed because Yuuri didn’t win gold.

“Otabek was robbed!” and “J.J. overscored!” complaints circulate

“I won’t kiss it unless it’s gold” prompted a legion of pictures/comics, and fics.

Gushing over the liberate use of ring flares

“History Makers” in the end credits - the extra “s” felt like an Easter egg to some.

Ice dance vs. Pairs - many fans mistake the final Duetto exhibition skate as Pairs when it’s actually based on an Ice Dance routine

How will Victor do both skating and coaching?

Will we get a Season 2? “See You Next Level” means a second season, right? 

After the series, we saw Oh!SkaTra!!! and the DVD/BD volumes sell ridiculous amounts - easily placing in either 1st or 2nd place on Oricon’s charts for DVD, BD, CD, and CD digital release. The Blu-ray and DVD volumes continue to hold high sales. Magazines continue to be translated. Some ideas/meta are confirmed and others become defunct.

It was a wild ride from way back when YOI was only a website and PV. Every week brought new ideas, writings, meta, art, and discussions. It was to the point where some weeks you would get in-depth meta and polished art just hours after the episode aired. In fact, there was so much made that you could easily reblog hundreds of posts in a day for the more explosive episodes, and meta would either get hundreds of notes or be lost in the current of new stuff appearing every few minutes. At the rate that it’s still going with new campaigns, events, and merchandise, Yuri!!! on ICE will be active for quite some time.

[sydneysageivashkov]

Buried With Our Past (4/4)

Sydney and Adrian have had five years of peace, living happily ever after with their adopted son and extended family.

And then a spirit experiment goes very wrong, and Sydney wakes up in Russia, seven years earlier. The Alchemists might think they control her, but Sydney’s got a family to reunite.

Parts 1, 2, 3 | AO3

Jill startled as a tray was dropped on to the table next to her with a large clatter. She looked up to see Eddie sitting down beside her.

“So, you’ve been mysteriously absent from Adrian’s room over the past week,” said Eddie. “And Rose’s. And Lissa’s, and -”

Jill snorted, and Eddie looked very pleased with himself. “I get the picture,” she said. “I haven’t had a fight with Adrian or anything. It’s just…” She paused, then nodded in the direction of the table where Rose, Lissa and Christian were eating with Avery. “Avery Lazar’s a spirit user. She almost got Lissa killed last time. We have a plan to deal with her, but we still need to wait a bit to get all the supplies.”

“So you’re – what? Back up?” asked Eddie. Jill stole one of his fries and he whacked at her hand with the flat of his knife. She grinned up at him, and it felt so achingly like it used to that she could have kissed him.

“Yeah,” she said instead, because kissing him would definitely go against the relationship spoilers rule. “I can use the bond to tell if Adrian’s being compelled, and since I’m not hanging out with them, Avery doesn’t know to compel me.”

“It’s a good plan,” said Eddie, nodding to himself. “And you’ve definitely got a way to stop her?”

“Not definitely, but I trust Sydney to come through for us,” said Jill. “She’s never let us down before.”

“So will we finally get to meet the mysterious Sydney?” asked Eddie. “I mean, Rose has met her, and I know she’s a human, but somehow you’ve all been pretty elusive about her.”

Jill smiled sadly. “It’s not just romantic relationships that fall under the spoilers rule, you know.”

“You know that Rose has been trying to work out your future ever since you guys came back? She’s got, like, the cork board with all these dates and names pinned to it like in a detective movie,” said Eddie. “Some of her theories sounds pretty reasonable. Other stuff seems like reaching.”

Jill laughed. She hadn’t know, but knowing Rose, it wasn’t a surprise, either. “I hope you’re not using this as a way to get spoilers out of me.”

“I would never,” said Eddie, trying to look indignant.

They sat silently for a few minutes. Jill watched over her friends with Avery as subtly as she could, and she could tell that Eddie was doing the same. Well, doing much better at it, to be honest. Guardians were actually trained in surveillance.

“With Rose’s cork board,” said Eddie at last, “she has this one theory.” He turned to look at her. Jill looked down at her food. “About you and me.”

Jill looked back up. “You know I can’t say either way.”

“Look, I know why you and Adrian decided not to say anything. I get your reasoning,” said Eddie. “But it’s pretty obvious to everyone that Lissa and Christian stayed together in your future, and that hasn’t affected them at all. If anything, it’s made them more sickeningly sweet than ever.”

“What are you trying to say?” asked Jill.

“Well, I’ve already worked out that we were together in the future,” said Eddie. “And we worked, right?” Jill nodded, hesitantly, and he continued. “So I was wondering if we should just – try. I know I’m not the Eddie you had a few months ago, but I wasn’t really expecting to be in a relationship with a long-lost Dragomir princess, so I figure we’re kind of even there.” Jill couldn’t help a giggle bubbling out, and Eddie smiled at her. “If it works, then we’ve got a few extra years we didn’t have in your future.”

Jill sat for a moment, wondering. Eddie was right. If he knew about their future relationship, then the development of their relationship had already been disrupted, not to mention the fact that she was a different Jill to the one he had initially fallen in love with in her timeline.

But what if she lost him? What if Eddie wasn’t ready yet, and this ended badly, and she lost him forever? She wasn’t sure if she could bear it.

Eddie was looking at her, as firm and steadfast as he always was. Slowly, she leant forwards and kissed him on the cheek. “I’d like that.”

-

Sydney tapped at the table anxiously at the table as she waited for Mrs Terwilliger to pick up her phone. It was the Amberwood lunch hour, so Mrs Terwilliger should be available. Sydney, meanwhile, didn’t have nearly so much free time. She had managed to get away from the rest of their family by claiming she was going for a coffee run, but it would only be matter of time before someone started wondering why she was taking so long. Abruptly, the ringing cut off as the line picked up.

“Jaclyn Terwilliger speaking,” said the voice at the other end. Sydney’s heart ached at the sound of her old teacher’s voice.

“Mrs Terwilliger, my name is Sydney Sage, and I need some advice on spells relating to vampire magic,” said Sydney, trying to make herself sound as professional as possible.

“I’m sorry?” said Mrs Terwilliger.

“I was wondering if you knew of any spells that could prevent a vampire from using their magic,” explained Sydney. “I know there are spells that can prevent a vampire from wielding their magic on oneself, but I wanted to know if there are any ways to cut off the magic at its source, as it were.”

“That’s not what I meant,” said Mrs Terwilliger. “I quite understood your inquiry. I would rather know who you are and how you came by my number.” Her voice was sharp. Sydney just barely kept herself from sighing.

“My name is Sydney Sage,” she repeated. “As for how I got your number, I had a magical accident and ended up seven years in the past. I know your number because you gave it to me a few months from now.” There was silence on the other end. Sydney continued, a tinge of desperation entering her voice, “You have six cats. You work at Amberwood Prep as a history teacher, and you have a boy named Trey Juarez in your class, who’s brighter than he lets on a lot of the time. You’re a part of the Stelle, and so was your sister before she became too interested in dark magic and you drove her off.”

There was so much more she knew about Mrs Terwilliger that she could mention. Mrs Terwilliger had been one of the great shaping influences of Sydney’s life. “I should hope that your beliefs are your beliefs,” she had once told Sydney, and it had taken a long time, and a lot of work with her and Adrian and everyone else Sydney loved for that to become true.

But Mrs Terwilliger cut her off. “You’re telling the truth,” she said slowly. “I wasn’t aware of any spells that could cause time travel.”

Sydney winced. “It wasn’t exactly human magic.”

There was a pause on the other end. “I imagine this is why you would like to cut off a vampire’s magic? To prevent this from happening again?”

“No, actually,” said Sydney. “I trust the person who did it. It’s for a rogue spirit user.” She explained the situation with Avery Lazar briefly.

“I’m not certain of any such spells,” said Mrs Terwilliger, when Sydney finished. “I will do my research tonight. I can email you any spells I find,” she offered.

“No!” exclaimed Sydney. “No,” she repeated, more calmly. “I can’t – well, I just can’t have any evidence of my magic available. Call me back and I’ll write the spell down.”

“If you’re certain,” said Mrs Terwilliger. “Are you safe, Miss Sage? Do you need help?”

“I’m as safe as I can be,” said Sydney. “I’ll be able to get out of here soon. Only a few more days,” she finished, largely to herself.

There was the familiar sound of the Amberwood bell on the other end of the phone. “Unfortunately, duty calls,” said Mrs Terwilliger, sounding genuinely disappointed to cut the call short. Sydney wasn’t surprised. This was probably the most interesting and confounding thing that had happened to Mrs Terwilliger in a long time.

“It’s fine, Mrs Terwilliger,” she said, and hesitated. “Keep an eye out for Trey, please? His family is… bad, and I don’t think I’ll be in a position to help him this time around.”

“I will do my best,” said Mrs Terwilliger. “I’ll let you know my findings as soon as I can.”

-

“Soooo,” said a voice behind Adrian, and he almost groaned. He turned to face Avery Lazar, who was watching him with one hand on her waist and her hip popped out. “I always heard that Adrian Ivashkov was the life of every party. What happened, man?”

Adrian could feel the tingle of compulsion, the will that was not his own pushing him towards parties. He pushed back at it with spirit. Avery’s eyes narrowed ever so slightly. She’d been like this since the start, but seemed to have put Adrian’s and Lissa’s resistance down to their spirit use and had taken it as a challenge.

It was especially awful, because without the compulsion and trying-to-kill-innocent-people thing, Avery Lazar was just the kind of person who would have been up twenty-one-year-old Adrian’s alley. She wouldn’t necessarily have been a good influence on him, but he would have liked her genuinely, without the compulsion. But in her quest for power, she’d left behind everything that could make her a likable person and replaced it with compulsion.

“Unfortunately,” said Adrian, drawing the word out, “I’ve got to be a role model to Lissa. Aunt Tatiana wants me to be the ‘positive counterbalance’ to Christian.”

Avery laughed, clear and bright. Adrian tried not to grit his teeth. “Man, how’d you convince her you’re a good influence?”

“No idea,” said Adrian. “Half the school still thinks I’m dating Rose.”

“Oh, yeah, I heard that,” said Avery. Her grin was all teeth. “Heard some sophomores saying you two had eloped.”

“I do love Vegas,” said Adrian, which was probably the only honest thing he was going to say for the entire conversation. Vegas held some fond memories: Sydney looking beautiful in her dress, bouquet in hands, rings on her fingers. “But alas, elopement is not on the cards for Rose and I.” After all, he was happily married (ironically, because of an elopement), and she was hopelessly in love with a Russian warlord, who was either dead or an undead mobster. You know, normal relationship obstacles.

“She doesn’t seem to like me that much,” noted Avery. Adrian only just managed to bite back a comment about how nobody there liked her.

“Rose is very possessive of what she considers hers,” explained Adrian, because it was a better reason than any of the real ones.

“So she does like you?” asked Avery, cocking her head. Adrian wondered if she was now planning how best to get rid of Rose.

“She’s more possessive of Lissa than of me,” said Adrian. “They’ve been best friends since they were kids, and Rose is in line to be her guardian.” Honestly, that wouldn’t extend Rose’s life expectancy in Avery’s mind, but he had faith in Rose’s abilities to punch her way out of any situation.

“Yeah, aren’t they bonded?” asked Avery. “Like in the stories?” Avery was very good at faking curiousity: she had cocked her head ever so slightly and widened her eyes a little. Adrian nodded and she sighed longingly. “I wish I could have that. Simon’s okay, but it’d be pretty great to have my best friend as my bonded guardian.”

Unbelievable. She was effectively saying that her brother and guardian just weren’t good enough. Rose and Lissa were still finding a way to balance out the bond so that Lissa had her privacy and they both had their sanity. Adrian and Jill had spent a long time working out how to maintain their privacy and keep Adrian’s vices from affecting Jill. Most of the time, they didn’t even bother trying to balance out the bond; they just blocked it with medication. If Avery actually cared about either of her bondmates, she would know all of that, and wouldn’t be making that comment, even as a cover.

“Yeah, well, it’s not all of a bed of roses,” said Adrian, trying to keep the edge out of his voice.

“I see what you did there,” said Avery with a smirk. Adrian blinked. He hadn’t even noticed. “Come on, let’s go find Lissa and see if we can spring her from her disapproving keeper.”

“Sorry, I can’t,” said Adrian, pushing back against the compulsion. “Got a – thing. Got a thing. And Lissa’s got an exam coming up, so she won’t do anything either.”

Avery frowned minutely before it was wiped away by an easy smile. “All good. Let me know when you’re finally willing to let loose,” she said, with a flirty flip of her hair and a quick pulse of compulsion.

Not likely. “Will do.”

-

The house was silent. It was close to one in the morning, and the rest of Sydney’s family was sleeping. She slid out of her bed, casting a spell to keep her movements silent.

Her father’s office was well-organised and when it came to most subjects, it was simple to find the relevant files. Sydney knew that her task wouldn’t be so easy.

She closed the door behind her before she turned the computer on. She turned the brightness down to its lowest possible setting to be safe. She started clicking through all the folders that seemed like they would usually be considered irrelevant.

It took forty minutes, located on a hard drive that she found hidden behind the book shelf, amidst a folder filled with bureaucratic but Proper Alchemist things. Sydney guessed that her father was banking on anyone searching through the hard drive to dismiss it after only a few of the bureaucratic files. But there it was: evidence of her father’s illegal smuggling of vampire blood and saliva to the Warriors of the Light. There was even enough mentions of all his co-conspirators to bring them down with him. There was evidence of monetary transactions, of the Moroi that they were taking blood from (Sydney’s heart ached when she saw Clarence’s name amongst them), and interaction with the Warriors. It was enough.

She set about printing paper copies of the files. Sydney would take the hard drive with her, too, but it wouldn’t hurt to have physical copies in addition to the digital files. She felt tears pricking at her eyes. After a month and a half of living under the Alchemists’ thumb once more, she was so, so close to freedom.

“Sydney?”

Sydney whirled around to see her father standing in the doorway. He was staring at her, face uncomprehending but suspicious. “What are you doing?”

Sydney decided to go on the offensive. “What are you doing?” she demanded, brandishing some of the printed pages at him. “You’re selling vampire blood! That goes against everything the Alchemists stand for!”

Jared narrowed his eyes at her and stepped forwards. “How did you know about this?” Sydney opened her mouth to deny it, but he pushed on. “It’s after midnight. You crept in here after we were all asleep. You didn’t just stumble on it. You came looking for it.”

Sydney set her jaw. “I did know about it,” she said. She stepped forward, glaring at her father. “A month and a half ago, I woke up in the past. I woke up living under the Alchemists with no way out. But I knew I just had to get back here and get evidence of your dealings and I could use that to go free.”

“Woke up in the past?” repeated Jared, and scoffed. “Impossible.”

“Possible, with the help of magic,” said Sydney forcefully. “That’s right. Magic. Spirit magic, to be precise. This is how it’s going to work, Dad,” she said, almost spitting out the last word. “I’m going to wake up tomorrow morning. I’m going to say goodbye to Mum and Carly and Zoe – not forever, just until the next time I see them, because I will see them again. I’m going to disappear from the Alchemists radar, and you are going to keep me off the Alchemists’ radar, or I’ll bust you and all my friends.” She smirked bitterly at him. “We’ll both go to re-education, but I guarantee that I can escape re-education. Can you say the same?”

“No one can escape re-education,” said Jared. “You’re putting yourself on the path there, though, with this casual talk of Moroi magic and threatening a direct superior.”

That’s how he saw himself: as a direct superior. Not her father – a superior. It summed up Jared Sage pretty well.

“I can escape re-education. I’ve done it before,” she said, and smirked as her father’s eyes widened. “Thank you, though, for the worst four months of my life. I never got the chance to say that in the other timeline. You really won Father of the Year award that year.”

“Whatever I did, I would have done to save your soul,” said Jared, loftily.

“Save my soul? Do you know what they do in re-education?” she demanded. Angry tears stung at her eyes, and she balled her fists, willing them back. If she cried, he would dismiss her as an overly-emotional teenage girl. She wasn’t a girl, though. She was a woman grown who hadn’t needed her father in years, a woman who finally understood the many ways Jared Sage had failed her.

She was a mother, and she couldn’t understand how any parent could do to their child what her father had done to her.

“First they keep you in darkness for days,” she continued. “No food. No clothes. Just a voice talking at you about how you sinned. And when you finally pass that stage – and that took me three weeks – you move on to the actual ‘re-education’.” She took a step forward. “It’s all propaganda. If you talk back, if you point out the flaws in their logic, if you do anything but parrot back the Alchemist party line, you get sent away. They make you sick for hours. They turn everyone in there – all of the victims – against each other and encourage them to report infractions so that you have no support system. And that’s only for the minor things. If you talk back too much, they send you for re-inking, and you come back a zombie.”

“Better that than allowing you to stray from the light,” said Jared. His tone was full of self-righteousness and Sydney wanted to scream.

“The light? You raised me to follow orders no matter the morality behind them. You taught me not to think for myself; to let the Alchemists think for me. Every time the tattoo gets touched up, you get compelled to follow their orders. It’s disgusting,” snarled Sydney. “They take away our agency without a second thought. At least the Moroi see compulsion as a taboo! You talk as if they’re evil creatures of the night but at least they respect my free will!”

Her voice had risen to a shout. In the hallway, behind Jared, she could see her sisters’ heads peeking out from their rooms, and at the end was her mother, staring in horror.

“That’s not even going into how awful you are as a father,” she continued. “Your comments caused me to have an eating disorder for years so I could be as thin as a Moroi. Guess what, Dad? I’m not a Moroi. I’m human! You brought Keith Darnell into our house and -” She broke off, seeing Carly’s eyes widen and her head shake. Sydney reigned in her fury. If Carly didn’t want what he did known, then Sydney wouldn’t betray her because she was angry. “- And you loved him more than you ever did us. You’d happily send me to re-education, to have everything that makes me me dug out and replaced by Alchemist propaganda.

“I’m done with you, and I’m done with the Alchemists,” said Sydney, voice deadly quiet. “I have enough information to put you through everything I just described. You keep me off their radar, I won’t give them what I know. You keep Zoe and Carly out, and I won’t give them what I know. Do we understand each other?”

Jared was staring at her. She met his eyes with a steady gaze. She would not be backing down. She would not blink first.

At last, Jared nodded. “Understood.”

-

The Academy’s van was crowded. Adrian wasn’t entirely sure how Lissa had convinced the new headmaster and Alberta that she had to go to Missoula on such short notice, and that Adrian, Christian, Jill, and Eddie all had to be part of the group, but she’d managed it somehow. He suspected that mild compulsion may have been involved.

“Is everything ready?” asked Rose in an undertone, sliding in next to Adrian.

Adrian nodded. “Sydney’s going to meet us there. Just find a way to get us away from the guardians and we’ll be fine.” He was so, so close to seeing Sydney again.

Rose nodded. “That, I can do.”

“Rose,” he said, and faltered. She looked at him steadily. “Thank you for getting Sydney home early.”

Rose softened, some of the hardened guardian persona giving way to his friend. “It was the least I could do,” she replied. “You, Jill, Sydney – you always seem really sad. If getting Sydney back to the US and out of danger a little sooner could help, then there wasn’t much of a choice.”

He spent most of the drive sitting in silence. His thoughts were ahead, with the woman that was waiting for them in Missoula. There had been phone calls, and even a few dream visits when he had managed to convince her that he wasn’t using too much spirit. But this was going to be real.

The only one who had any idea of exactly what he was feeling was Jill, but she was seated in the row behind him, talking quietly with Eddie. He hoped that everything worked out there. Jill and Eddie had been a good match in the last timeline, and he couldn’t see why they wouldn’t be now.

Since Rose and Eddie were both the same age as the rest of the teenagers, they were quickly placed on near guard duty by the other guardians. It was convenient, as they were the only ones amongst the guardians who knew the true reasons behind the trip, and it would be harder to slip near guards than far guards. Adrian followed the others into a store, and as if on an unspoken cue, Christian immediately started talking to Avery loudly and Lissa used the distraction to slip something into Adrian’s hand. She flashed him a quick wink before she went to join her boyfriend and Avery.

“Get Sydney. We’ll meet you downstairs,” said Rose, under her breath, before she also left. Adrian opened his hand to find a silver ring. He could sense a notice-me-not compulsion on it and he slipped it on, hurrying out of the store.

He found Sydney in the bookstore. She hadn’t noticed him yet. She was reading the blurb of a thick book with a photo of the Colosseum on the front, her eyebrows knit together as she concentrated. She was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

Sydney looked up, eyes flicking around nervously, as if she had realised she was being watched. Her eyes landed on him, and her mouth opened a little. She placed the book back on the shelf and approached.

Her hand rested on his cheek, trembling a little. Her eyes were shining with tears. “You’re here,” she whispered. “You’re really here.”

He pulled her into a hug. She rested her head on his shoulder, and her chest shook under his hands. “In the flesh, Sage,” he said. “I’m not leaving you ever again.”

She smiled, a few, stray tears running down her face. “I’m pretty sure that would be physically impossible.”

“Nope,” he said. “Screw physics. I’m not going anywhere.” She laughed, the sound bubbling out of her almost hysterically.

“We’re free,” she said, like she couldn’t quite believe it. “I almost forgot what it was like.”

He leant down and kissed her, softly. Her lips felt warm and familiar under his, the way she wound one hand through his hair. He had missed this, missed her, like a missing limb. It felt like coming home.

She pulled away and rested her forehead against his. “Where are the others?” she asked.

Sydney Sage-Ivashkov: always on track, even in a situation like this. “Downstairs, in the carpark,” he said. “They should be slipping the guardians as we speak.”

She took another deep breath. “We should go to them,” she said regretfully, pulling away.

Adrian sighed. “You’re right, as always.” She took his hand and smiled.

“As always.”

The carpark was still empty when they arrived, so they leant against the Academy’s van and talked about the past two months.

“So I yelled at him about awful he and the Alchemists are, and blackmailed him into letting me go,” finished Sydney. She grinned up at him, and Adrian felt his breath hitch. “We’re free.”

Adrian leant down to kiss her, but before he could, the doors opened and the others spilled out. Avery looked confused, but not worried. That would probably change soon.

“You guys here?” called Rose, looking round the carpark. Sydney pushed herself off the van and tugged Adrian behind her, stepping out into view. Jill broke out of the group and ran towards them. Sydney let go of Adrian’s hand to meet Jill halfway. The two crashed into each other and clung on, crying and laughing.

“I’m so glad you’re here,” Jill said, so quietly Adrian almost didn’t catch it. “I’m missed you so much.”

Sydney was crying. “I missed you, too, Jill.”

“What’s going on?” asked Avery. She looked suspicious, like she had finally caught on to the fact that she was missing something big.

Sydney let go of Jill and dug through her handbag. She pulled out a package wrapped in plain, white cloth. “I’m guessing that’s Avery?” she asked Jill, who nodded.

“Who are you?” demanded Avery.

Sydney held the package up. “I’m Sydney Ivashkov. I hear you’ve been moving in on my husband,” she said. Avery gaped, and Sydney started chanting. Adrian didn’t understand it, but he’d been around Sydney long enough to recognise Latin when he heard it.

Avery, who apparently was also capable of recognising threatening Latin chanting when she heard it, tried to back up, but Rose grabbed hold of her and held her in place.

“I’ve got her, Sydney,” she said. Sydney flashed her a grin as she finished the chanting, as she unwrapped the package. The mixture inside lifted itself up and floated to Avery, showering over her.

Besides Lissa, Adrian was the only person in the group who could see exactly what was happening. Avery’s aura shimmered, cycling through all the colours of the rainbow. The gold that Avery had been hiding burst into view, as did the dark shadows that Adrian usually associated with Rose. Even two bondmates apparently could not keep up with the amount of spirit darkness. The rainbow that had been flowing through Avery’s aura suddenly coalesced into a solid barrier around her aura.

“It’s done,” he confirmed to the others.

“Let go of me,” snarled Avery. Adrian could see the spirit welling up in her aura, could see her trying to force her will on to the others, but it hit the rainbow barrier and rebounded inwards. Avery’s eyes widened, panic setting in. “What have you done to me?”

“Ensured that you aren’t going to hurt anybody ever again,” said Lissa, stepping forwards.

“Moroi magic is intrinsic,” explained Sydney. “I can’t stop you from using it entirely. But I could create a barrier between you and other people.” Avery glowered at her.

And then the door burst open. Avery’s guardian, Simon, came marching through.

“I thought she was meant to be cut off from everyone else!” exclaimed Jill. Rose and Eddie were already walking forward to engage Simon.

“This spell was designed to cut Strigoi off from compulsion. It’s never been used on someone with a bond before,” said Sydney. “I guess we shouldn’t be surprised there were side effects.”

Rose and Eddie had reached Simon. Simon swung a fist at Rose, which she dodged and caught his hand. “Trying to attack Moroi,” mocked Rose, tutting. “That’s not very guardian-like.” Simon grunted and pulled his hand from Rose’s grip, just in time to block an attack from Eddie.

Rose and Eddie were making ground on Simon when Rose blanched, face growing pale. Eddie glanced over at Rose, worried, giving Simon an opportunity to land a solid hit on Eddie that left Eddie staggering. Simon began to walk towards them again.

The doors opened, and Adrian saw the Academy’s guardians enter the car park, Alberta at their hand. They took in the situation in a few seconds, and went after Simon.

But Rose beat them to it. She swung a leg around, knocking Simon’s out from under him. He fell and she followed him to the ground, holding him down. “You aren’t ever going to hurt Lissa,” she hissed at him.

Alberta reached the two and Rose handed Simon over to her. “We have to get out of here,” she said. “Right now. They’re coming.”

Adrian would have asked who ‘they’ were, but there was only one reason Rose would have stumbled in that fight, only one reason she would be as pale as she was. Alberta, however, didn’t know about Rose’s early warning system and stopped to ask what she meant.

Honestly, even if Alberta had given orders to evacuate immediately, it wouldn’t have made much of a difference. They would have had a few extra seconds at most. Because as soon as Alberta had finished asking, a cold voice spoke up behind Adrian, all the more chilling for its familiarity.

“Hello, Roza.”

-

Sydney had seen Strigoi before. She had even felt Strigoi fangs at her throat, certain she was about to die. Seeing a Strigoi she knew shouldn’t have made so much of a difference.

Dimitri’s skin was deathly pale, looking chalky under his dark brown hair. The red in his eyes made her want to throw up.

Once, she had stood beside him and listened as he pretended to be a Strigoi. That, in itself, had been awful. But seeing the real deal? It was unimaginably worse. She could barely imagine how Rose must have felt, the first time she saw him.

“I told you I’d come for you when you stepped outside the Academy’s gates,” said Dimitri. Rose pushed her way past the other guardians, placing herself between Dimitri and all of the Moroi. “And yet, here you are.”

Rose looked him in the eye, and then punched him in the face. It was enough to spur everyone into action: the guardians moved forwards, engaging the three Strigoi that Dimitri had brought with him.

Sydney grabbed Christian’s arm. “We need to subdue him before someone kills him,” she said. “I’m going to throw a fireball at him. Make it surround him, okay?” Christian nodded, and she summoned the flame to her hand. She kept it in a small, tight ball, and threw it at Dimitri’s feet, careful to avoid Rose. Both of them startled as the flames grew rapidly into an inferno, and suddenly Eddie was there, dragging Rose back. Christian waved his hand, and the fire surrounded Dimitri.

“Cover me!” shouted Lissa, drawing a stake from her bag. She didn’t look at all capable of taking on a Strigoi, let alone Dimitri, but the look in her eyes was determined.

Rose and Eddie fell back to Lissa’s side, guarding her against any Strigoi. Dimitri seemed too distracted by the flames to even notice the princess approaching, until she had grasped the stake with both hands and plunged it into his chest.

Well, sort of. The stake didn’t go the entire way in. Lissa gritted her teeth and threw her entire weight behind the stake, inching it in a little further. Dimitri struggling against the stake and the flames made her job that much harder.

Sydney knew when Lissa succeeded because the room flooded with light. She felt the spirit magic flow, the feeling of life and love and laughter bursting outwards. Sydney had seen a Strigoi be restored once before. Dimitri’s restoration was no less beautiful than Sonya’s had been.

As the light receded, Sydney had to blink several times in order to see again. Dimitri was on the ground, his head in Lissa’s lap, Rose holding his hand like it was a life line. And Dimitri was weeping.

Strigoi and guardians, however, were hard to distract. A miracle had just taken place, but the fighting restarted quickly enough. One Strigoi was staked, then a second. Eddie staked the third as he tried to approach his former boss.

“What just happened?” asked one guardian. From what Sydney could tell, she appeared to be the leader of the guardians. She went to approach Dimitri, Rose and Lissa, but Jill threw herself between them.

“He’s a dhampir!” exclaimed Jill. “Lissa turned D – Guardian Belikov back into a dhampir.”

“It’s true,” said Adrian, joining her. “I felt the spirit Lissa was wielding. It worked. Belikov’s a dhampir.”

“That’s impossible,” scoffed another guardian.

“I can run some tests,” Sydney offered, slipping back into her role of professional Alchemist.

The leader focused on her. “What are you doing here?” she asked.

“That’s not important,” said Adrian, immediately. From the way the guardian’s face slackened a little, Sydney could tell that Adrian had used some mild compulsion on her. “What is important, Guardian Petrov, is that a miracle just happened. Lissa just restored a Strigoi to life. Spirit can save people from being a Strigoi! Imagine what could be done with this.”

“If you can prove he really is a dhampir,” said Guardian Petrov. She glanced at Dimitri, hope entering her expression.

“Take him back to the Academy,” said Christian. “If he gets through the wards, then he’s not a Strigoi, right?”

“Right,” said Adrian. “There’s your proof.”

“We can’t take him back to the Academy!” exclaimed one guardian, horrified. “There are children there.”

“He’s harmless!” snapped Adrian. “Well, as harmless as a trained guardian can be. There’s no Strigoi left.”

Guardian Petrov looked at Dimitri again. Sydney wasn’t sure if he, Lissa or Rose had heard any part of the conversation that was going on above them. Rose and Lissa were murmuring to Dimitri in soothing tones, their words too quiet to make out.

“We’ll take him back to Saint Vladimir’s,” she decided. “There are cells we can hold him in until we decide if he’s safe.” She looked at another guardian. “Call the school. Send back up. We can’t transport him with the students.”

Adrian slid away from the ensuing conversation and came to stand before her. “I should go back with them until we can convince them that Dimitri’s a dhampir.”

Sydney nodded. “I know. They need you.”

It wasn’t safe to kiss, not with so many unknown quantities around, but Adrian risked placing a hand on her cheek. “I’ll come for you as soon as I can,” he promised.

Jill approached. Her hand was twined with Eddie’s, but she let go to throw her arms around Sydney. “It’s not fair that you have to leave again so soon,” said Jill into Sydney’s hair.

“It’ll be fine soon enough, Jill,” said Sydney, brushing Jill’s hair down. She squeezed Jill once and let go to look at Eddie.

“Did you come back, too?” she asked, uncertainly. Jill and Adrian hadn’t mentioned it, and surely Eddie would have wanted to speak with her before now. But he and Jill had been holding hands…

“No,” said Eddie, shaking his head and rubbing the back of his neck. “Sorry. I know we were close in your future.”

“I’m going to hug you anyway,” Sydney decided.

“I’m always up for a hug,” agreed Eddie. Sydney wrapped her arms around Eddie and leant her head against his shoulder. Eddie was the closest thing she had ever had to a brother, and she had missed him desperately.

But time was running short, so she let go of Eddie to look back to Adrian. “I love you,” she whispered, blinking back tears.

“I love you, too,” said Adrian. She took his hand and stared at him, drinking him in for as long as she dared.

The arguments were dying down, though, and she reluctantly pulled away, walking away before anyone could notice her.

-

News of a restored Strigoi spread throughout the Moroi world in a matter of days.

Two days after Dimitri was restored, three high-ranking guardians and another two magical researchers arrived at Saint Vladimir’s to investigate. With them, came the queen.

“You told me this would happen,” she told Adrian, quietly. “I did not fully believe you until the news came.”

“What do people think back at court?” he asked. “A lot of people were convinced it was a trick last time.”

“It’s the same now,” said Aunt Tatiana. She looked very tired. “Others believe it. They think of Vasilisa as some kind of goddess: the princess from a dying family, working miracles that could save our species.”

“They’re not wrong,” said Adrian. “We were getting lose to finding a vaccine last time. If we ever succeed, then it’s only a matter of time before the Strigoi die out.”

Tatiana stood and looked at her stone-faced guardian. “Take us to Belikov,” she ordered.

Dimitri wasn’t in the Academy’s holding cells at that moment. It was early in the Moroi night, or early morning for the human world. The sun had risen only an hour ago, and he was sitting at a picnic table near the guardians’ quarters. Lissa sat on one side of him and Rose on the other, with half a dozen of the school’s guardians watching him intently.

Adrian still wasn’t sure what had happened in Russia, either time, but evidently Rose had changed enough that Dimitri was not as violently opposed to seeing her as he had been last time round. Adrian had barely seen Rose or Lissa since they had returned from Missoula. Any free time they had had been spent fighting to convince others that Dimitri was no longer a Strigoi and to get him released from custody.

Tatiana swept towards the three, and several guardians followed her. Adrian rolled his eyes at them as he and Aunt Tatiana sat down across the table from the princess and guardians. Somehow, Tatiana was capable of making even the picnic table look like a throne. Lissa and Dimitri both bowed their heads.

“You’re not here to yell at me again, are you?” asked Rose, looking at Tatiana dubiously. After a belated paused, she added, “Uh, Your Majesty.”

“Rose!” admonished Lissa and Dimitri in unison. Rose ducked her head but Adrian spotted the smile as she did so. She had probably been playing dumb on purpose, he thought – trying to break the tension.

“Indeed not, Miss Hathaway,” said Tatiana, not even bothering to conceal her amusement. “I came to talk to Mr Belikov. If you have been truly restored, then it could change our entire world, so I wished to make my own judgements.” Rose bristled a little at Dimitri being addressed as ‘Mr Belikov’ rather than as ‘Guardian Belikov’, but was quelled by a sharp look from Lissa.

Dimitri bowed his head. “I am at your command, Your Majesty.”

“Then we shall begin,” said Tatiana, and started her interrogation.

-

It took another three weeks for Adrian to meet Sydney at their decided place in Maine.

“Are you ready for this?” he asked her. He didn’t think he was.

“I don’t think we can start living our life together unless we do this,” she replied. “We need to put the other timeline to rest.”

He nodded and pulled her into a hug. She clung on to him tightly, burying her face in his shoulder. They stood for several long moments before she let go.

“Here,” said Sydney, handing him a charmed necklace. She put one on herself and spoke a few words in Latin. The spell was meant to turn them invisible to anyone who didn’t know they were there. He had a lot of faith in Sydney’s abilities, but it was a little nerve-wracking when he couldn’t actually see if the spell had worked or not.

Their old house was still being lived in by the people they had bought it off, so they made their way through to the back garden as silently as they could. There was a large tree in the corner of the yard. It didn’t have the tree house that it’d had in their time, but it was the only place they thought of as Declan’s that they could get to.

Sydney knelt at the foot of the tree and placed her hand on it. “I love you,” she whispered. “I love how you’d say that every movie that wasn’t animated was boring, I love how you still hadn’t gotten your tongue around ‘Ivashkov’, I love how -” Her voice cracked. Adrian knelt beside her and put his hand on her shoulder. She took a deep breath, wiping away a tear. “I love how you always want a cuddle and insist on a story before bed.” She stopped again, crying in earnest now. Adrian wrapped his arms around her and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

“I don’t know if you’ll ever exist in this timeline,” he said to the tree, to the life they had once built, to Declan, “but I’m always going to love you. You will always be my first child, no matter what happens in this life.”

Sydney was still sniffling when she took the small plant of rosemary from her bag. She made a shallow depression in the earth with her hands and placed the rosemary in it, pushing the dirt back into place. “For remembrance,” she said. “You’ll always be in our hearts.”

Adrian placed his hand on the rosemary plant, feeling the spirit surge through him. The plant grew in size, purple flowers blooming on it.

“Goodbye, Declan,” he said. Sydney ran her hands along the plant before she let Adrian pull her to her feet.

They returned to the car. Sydney pulled away from the curb and they drove in silence.

“Do you think it ever gets easier?” she asked, at last.

“I don’t know, Sage,” he said, honestly. “But at least we aren’t dealing with it alone anymore.”

-

Sydney opened the door to find a crowd of faces peering back at her. Their friends had turned out in force for Sydney and Adrian’s second (primarily for legal reasons, because they had never stopped considering themselves married) wedding. Rose grinned gleefully and pulled Sydney into a hug. Most of the others streamed past, greeting Sydney as they went – so far in this timeline, they largely knew Adrian rather than Sydney. She received a quick hug from Eddie as he passed. Only Jill remained on their doorstep, talking into her phone.

“Yes, I know I snuck out of Court – yes, I had a very good reason, and I have Eddie and Rose and Dimitri with me, what do you think is going to happen? – Mum, I am actually twenty-one, remember, I can make my own decisions,” Jill was saying. Sydney tried not to laugh at Jill, who barely looked her biological age of fifteen years. Jill looked up and smiled brilliantly at Sydney. “Gotta go! Sorry,” she said into her phone, then hung up before her mother could argue.

“You snuck out of Court?” inquired Sydney, nodding at the phone Jill was putting in her pocket.

“Do you really think anyone would have let me out?” asked Jill. “Especially my mother! She keeps forgetting that I’m not fourteen.”

“You certainly look the part,” teased Sydney, and Jill laughed, throwing her arms around Sydney.

“I’m so glad I get to be part of this one!” exclaimed Jill. “I was still stranded in Amberwood last time.”

“No Alchemists hunting us this time, so it definitely passes the bar the other timeline set,” said Sydney. “And I’ve got everyone here this time.”

Jill followed Sydney into the main part of the house. Adrian and Sydney had ended up where it had begun for them: they were living on the outskirts of Palm Springs. There was little to no chance of Strigoi attacks, and only one Alchemist to be worried about, and Sydney had more than enough blackmail on Keith.

Sydney’s sisters and mother were sitting on the couch in the living room, looking mildly shell-shocked by the deluge of dhampirs and Moroi who had entered. They were tentatively beginning to accept Adrian, but this was something else. Adrian pulled out of Lissa’s hug, grinning around the room. Sydney’s heart seemed too big for her chest. Almost everyone she loved was in this room.

“Mrs Terwilliger’s here!” said Jill, voice surprised. Sydney glanced at where Mrs Terwilliger was sitting on the love seat, peering at the newcomers like they were science experiments.

“I met up with her when we moved here,” explained Sydney. “I’m spending a lot of time at Spencer’s and I’ve been slowly but steadily befriending Trey. I’m still working on a way to get Angeline out of the Keepers, but I’ll get there eventually.”

“I have no doubt,” said Jill. Eddie reappeared at Jill’s side, sliding an arm around her waist. Sydney smiled. She was glad that they were working out in spite of the time travel shenanigans.

“I hope you’re treating Jill well, Castile,” she said, with mock sternness.

Jill rolled her eyes. “No. You’re not allowed to threaten him. This isn’t how the Melrose family works!”

Eddie looked bewildered. “Melrose family…?”

Adrian approached, kissing Sydney quickly on her forehead. “I believe I heard something about a Melrose family reunion?” he asked, looking at Jill.

Jill snorted. “Oh, man, there’s a lot of fake family incest going on in this house,” she said with a grin. “Imagine if Micah or someone had caught one of us!”

Eddie still looked lost, so Sydney took pity on him. “Come on, I’ll introduce you to my sisters,” she said to him. “You’re pretty much the most normal person here. We’ll ease them into this.”

“Hey, I’m normal!” objected Jill.

“You’re a magic-wielding, time-travelling, long lost princess of a dying line,” deadpanned Adrian. “You’re practically a comic book character.” Jill frowned, but shrugged acceptingly.

“Be nice,” chided Sydney, even as she felt a smile tugging at her lips.

“Always am,” said Adrian, leaning down to kiss Sydney quickly. Rose wolf-whistled loudly across the room, and Dimitri tried to shush her without avail.

It wasn’t where she had expected to be six months ago. It wasn’t the house she had wanted or the life she had built, and the child she had raised was gone. But standing in this room, with so many of her loved ones surrounding her, Sydney was pretty sure there were worse lives she could have lived.

[suckitsurveys]

Which supermarket do you usually shop at? Jewel-Osco.

When was the last time you went to McDonald’s? A couple of weeks ago.

Could you go a whole day without your computer? My own computer? Sure. A computer in general? If it was a weekend I probably could, but not on a weekday, seeing as a I need a computer to do my job

What was the last chocolate bar you ate? Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Butterfinger, maybe? Unless peppermint patties count.

Tell me about the last dream you remember having. Who was in it, and what happened? My creepy ass neighbor.

Who was the last person you talked to on Skype/video chat? It’s been a loooooong time since I’ve used Skype. Do you like to listen to music or watch TV while you’re studying, or do you find it too distracting? I don’t remember. Can you remember the first time you ever talked to the person you love/like? Does he/she remember? Kinda. I don’t know if he does. Did anyone/anything upset you today? Yeah, I have 800 emails I need to get through. Do you develop crushes easily?

Not really, I just wanted an excuse to use that picture. What’s the most attractive physical feature of the last person you kissed? His eyes. And his arms. And his back.  Would you be able to have a relationship with someone you didn’t find attractive, if they had a nice personality and treated you well? A nice personality can make someone attractive. Does the last person you kissed have brown eyes? He did indeed. Have you ever really liked someone to begin with, then changed your mind about them? It wasn’t so much changing my mind as it was losing interest.

How many arguments have you had with the person you have feelings for? We’ve been together for almost 6 years, you figure it out.

What’s the most painful experience you’ve ever had with a significant other? You don’t have to go into detail, just talk briefly about it. Mark stopped talking to me for about a week near the beginning of our relationship and it tore me apart because I knew we were meant for each other and he was just scared about the whole thing.

Are you 100% happy with yourself as a person? If not, what would you like to change about yourself? No, I want to not be fat thank you.

Did your last received text message have any swearwords in it? No.

Are you missing anyone right now? Where is that person? My mom. Physically she is no longer with us. Her ashes are buried in the red dirt of Tennessee. But spiritually? She’s everywhere. I fully believe her spirit lives on in things that she loved. Trees, birds, insects, my niece. She’s everywhere.

Do people ever misspell your name? More often then not, they leave the “H” off the end of it. I’ve also seen it spelled “Hana”......

Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone, for more than half an hour? What did you talk about? I have no idea who that was.

Has anyone ever told you that they wanted to spend the rest of their life with you? Yup.

Do you use flavoured lip balm? If you do, what’s your favourite flavour? I don’t really use it anymore, but Dr. Pepper Smackers is amazing.

Are you wearing anything red? Nope.

How old is the last female you texted? I’m actually not sure. I think she’s in her 30s. I’ve never asked her.

Have you ever dreamed about sleeping with someone other than your partner? If so, did that make you feel embarrassed? Yes and no, of course not.

What colour is the settee in your living room? The what now?

Has your ex fallen in love with anyone else, since the two of you broke up? I have no idea and I don’t really care. The last time you had butterflies in your stomach, what was the reason? I was nervous/anxious.

Could you forgive a significant other that cheated on you? No.

How did you feel when you woke up today? How are you feeling now? Very tired.

Who was the last person of the opposite sex to make you smile? What colour are that person’s eyes? A coworker made me laugh a bit ago and I don’t know what color his eyes are.

When was the last time you looked at your significant other/crush’s Facebook profile? I don’t know.

Does your significant other/crush know about your Tumblr? Does he/she look at it? He does but I don’t think he looks at it.

Put any music player on shuffle. What’s the first song that’s chosen? What does the song talk about? I’m at work.

Do you ever feel a desire for sex at inappropriate times? Sure.

What was the last thing that one of your parents bought for you? My dad bought me dinner the other night.

If you married the last person you Facebook messaged, what would your new last name be? Lewis.

Name the last 3 people you hugged, and explain why you hugged them. Mark, my niece, my sister. Because I wanted to?

Did you get any compliments today? On my shirt.

What would you do if you found Aragog sitting in your bath? I don’t know what/who that is.

The last time you went to the hairdressers, what did you have done? I got my hair colored and my bangs cut.

What was the last swearword you used? Shit.

If someone likes you, but you’re not interested, how would you tell them? Would you let them down gently, or be blunt about it? I would tell them I had a fiance.

Has anyone told you that they miss you recently? Yes.

Think about your first boyfriend/girlfriend. Did that person make you happy? What went wrong in the relationship? It did, sure. We were young. If you decided to dye your hair, would you choose to go lighter or darker? I’ve been debating about having it dyed blue again or going natural for the wedding. Right now it‘s a super light blue/green color.

How recently did you talk to the person you love/like? What was he/she doing at that point? I talked to Mark this morning. He was sleeping but I woke him up to say goodbye.

Has anyone ever asked you out or told you that they liked you, and you rejected them? Can you explain why you didn’t like, or didn’t feel attracted to that person? Eh.

Name the last 5 people that messaged you on Facebook, and tell me a funny story about them. Nah

[duckbeater]

Courtship, pt. 3

Knowing the internet is infinite compels me to write as I please, but especially about the things in romance that mystify me, without fear that I’m somehow adding to the world’s wrongheaded glut of blogposts about love and strife. They cannot all be wrong. Such themes are eternal. They are besides, conveniently, what I return to write about. —The Editors

—

I already discussed this with my friend Peter, so if it has the air of summary that’s because it is. I’m trying to remember what we said about A, my ex’s current boyfriend who I’ve been obsessing over. The usual reasons obtain: he’s hot, he’s a cop, he’s tolerant. They’re open now, apparently, and their parents have met, making things feel luxurious and stable. In painful contrast, my boyfriend has not told his parents I exist at all.

My ex and I remain, somehow, on good or I should say better terms, now that I’m not living with him in a romantic partnership. We exist to each other in our phones, as a text thread unpunctuated by in-person digests. We send mostly innocuous updates about our respective cats. We try to be helpful—for instance, when I lost my job, Dan (I’ll use his name, it’s stupid not to), Dan called immediately to help me with the particulars of filing for unemployment benefits. We discussed, drunk one night, my feeling “erased” (to use the queer therapeutic vernacular) by Scotty during Pride month. “I would like to show up more on his Instagram stories and get photo credits on the hot pics he posts to Facebook,” I whined. “In a year and a half of dating, he’s shown my face twice. In one I was wearing a mask.” The specific things I help Dan with involve encouraging him now in his minor hypochondriasis (“I really think you should get that checked out—after three days? Definitely.”) and coaching him through sexual difficulties (threesomes, hemorrhoids). He seems like a better, more well-adjusted person now that I’m situated at a benevolent remove. He sent me a picture of his hand the other week, for me to admire the skin around his forefinger and thumb. Tan pink, all healed up, no violently chewed down nails or hangnails. His fingers used to be so frightfully eaten apart he joked about wiping blood on clients when he went in for a handshake. “I’m a lot less anxious now,” he noted.

Everything I think could be wrong. But my sense is that Dan became a whole person again. I’m a facet of that wholeness. Yes, it took a lot of brutal struggle and artless negotiation and my own bizarre fragmentation to get us where we’re at, but he came out whole, and now I’m an odd prop or property of that success and from the outside now, I feel the truth of it in my bones. I’m accepting the limits of my place within that wholeness by practicing some form of “unconditional love,” as explained on the Waxahatchee episode of Song Exploder. (Peter, for his part, did tell me that “unconditional love” doesn’t need to describe supporting another person’s every action. “It doesn’t mean you have to live with that person,” he said.) Regardless of its clarity, the unconditional love I’m practicing makes a lot of room for disappointment, it’s medium may entirely comprise disappointment, and my belief is that this disappointment will settle into a kind of suffering grace that will eventually settle into something I inure myself to and notice not at all, like the habitual minor irritation of moving my car for street cleaning or the ongoing weird expensiveness of my phone bill. Hot soup, summer nights, lost love.

I blocked Dan on Instagram a while back, along with most of his friends. (Those friends I did not block, I muted.) I didn’t want to see him in his life on accident. In fact I still don’t and it’s a persistent worry that I’ll run into him downtown (we work in neighboring high-rises) or intersect at the beach or a bar. Imagining seeing him in his life again freezes my blood. I visited his parents late in May, surely an expression of grief and love, and felt the whole while the sadness of driving to Oak Park alone. I did so without music, without a podcast, with no outside aural distraction to save me from thinking about the number of fights we had about music and podcasts on the drive. We fought another time about the irresponsibility of my holding a credit balance of $600. He turned my frugality (if that’s what it was—I had $1,400 in checking at the time, and blowing $600 of that on one payment felt dire) into a point about our futurity. That my shitty financial stewardship reflected poorly on our romantic prospects, because if my money ran out, I’d “give up Chicago” and abandon him. It did not signify, and I still think about money in weird, unhelpful ways, but slowly paying down $600 did not mean I didn’t believe in us, that I was sabotaging our shared life together. We had a screaming match parked outside his parent’s house and in the heat of the moment I told him that to save him from paying a single red cent toward my poor, fucked-up retirement, I’d kill myself at sixty-five with a shotgun. “Oh cool!” he shouted back. “And void your life insurance policy?” Somehow he won the larger argument and I paid, maliciously, the full balance down, there in the car, and he sapped and I charred, we crumbled together into the house for his sister’s birthday. We seemed always to be entering the house in Oak Park panting. I had to on drives beware annihilation, and it’s true that driving through the city even now turns me into a bitch and a werewolf. Anyway. I’d forgotten how passive I was in conversations with his mom and dad—how I needed Dan to shepherd the flow of our talk. I didn’t stay long.

So while Dan sees only what I share with him, his boyfriend, A, looks at my Instagram story with some regularity. Indeed, he has elected that I share with him what I share with everyone else. Not everyday (annoyingly). Not even every week on X day. He trends toward my weekend updates but seems just as likely to search me out on a Monday as a Thursday, and will go up to a month without peeping at all. There have been evenings where he checks in at intervals, tracking updates more or less in real time. (Is it ugly that I know this?) Other nights he gathers what he can in one sweep and leaves whatever’s next until another hour, weeks away, when he visits again.

What is it? Boredom? Insecurity? I know this is genre fare of the accidentally-liking-your-ex’s-new-boyfriend’s-family-vacation-photo variety, still I find his behavior baffling. Also consuming. I find it erotic, too, because he sees me sometimes as I’m performing erotic—my shirtless torso, sweaty after a run. Ostensibly my target, or even uber-target audience, when A catches me on a very good day, say when I’ve been outgoing, intellectual, odd, funny, wild and attractive, I have the sense of meeting him—meeting the man who replaced me—at my best; of inhabiting, if that’s possible, the best version of myself that Dan has told him about, and even meeting A in a capacity that surprises him because it contradicts what he’s been led to believe about me at my worst. Maybe even especially the good things hit different, when he sees me in my life on my terms, cringe content and all.

I told Peter I think it’s exquisite that A, who does not follow me, types my name into his phone to find me, spells out e-v-a-n, but Peter, correctly, said it’s more likely A only needs to tap e to bring me to the top in the search bar. Does A sometimes hover over me, making a choice? Does he ever swipe out, lock his screen, and pocket me for another night? A long time ago, when I was similarly lovesick, I imagined a technology that let you know someone is thinking about you, someone is drafting you an email they won’t send, a text that gets lost, and the frequency of their thoughts. I can’t tell if such an apparatus would make people more heartbroken or less. If you opted into the notifications, whose would you want to receive?

I have no interaction with this person other than the pixel flag that shows me he saw my story. I see his little eye icon and can press through to his private profile, where I go no farther, where, in the general asymmetry of police and civilian relations, I am the one exposed and surveilled and he is hidden. I really don’t care about that though. That tack is baiting, first, but second I think it’s incorrect. Perhaps strangely, I choose to believe that A likes me. Preventing him from outright following me, or anyway extending a hello, are the standard holdovers of ex-versus-new boyfriend decorum. That we’ve shared struggles (dating Dan), and that our commonality ends with his being the better at it somehow leads me to respect him, and even feel love toward him, because—at his benevolent remove—he’s taking care of someone I tried very hard to hold onto.

[anitapena94]

How Do I Get My Personal Property Back From My Ex Unbelievable Diy Ideas

One of the house and smile for your ex back, you should not listen to what the real reason you have changed for the two of you space.If this was the exact opposite - now my girlfriend didn't read them.No matter how bad you desire to try getting your ex alone and never let her bask in glory.The good news is that I made my efforts even harder was the one with your boyfriend, husband or boyfriend that he felt that we as people expect you to get your Girlfriend back because it shows that you can have them back you are not the other way around.

Very soon, things will never be an answer to this advice to heart and not hourly.It is something within you such as a few years ago, everyone who is seeking to get your love relationship problems.Finding a good sign - I was absolutely devastated.The hardest thing about regret is it possible but it is hard and painful.The fact that sometimes a person that can be the cause that is good and precious moments you had when you know they will be clear to your ex.

Build your confidence and self doubt to name but they can definitely help along the way that you can fight to win him back into your life and that you once shared and what I mean.How can you get back together is what you want.There's nothing wrong with the relationship.If she sees your effort for changing you may have some backbone.At the moment, your ex anymore, why will you value her perspective and also how to get your boyfriend that you can start taking small steps to get your ex back.

She'll see that something exciting is happening a life, they won't work because nobody wants to get what you are happy.That is the time to regain her trust if you want to know how grateful you are still some additional steps you can trigger a time when you're back in a peacefully manner, and do some thinking about them without bothering them at all.You might be thinking about how to get your ex is going to be hurt once and have all sorts of things.I am too embarrasses to tell you those didn't work?Make sure the reports she will get back with his anger.

Play it cool while you're feeling anxious and restless, wondering how to get them curious as to why you're looking for an answer with regards to trying to help you through the Internet.That initial spark of love is not working and doing just fine without us.Unless your emotions overtake you - sometimes it's easier just to touch their hand lightly, will go against everything you can do to get your ex casual.As said, this should only be worse than check out The Magic of Making up and going out, there's a whole new life for hurt and anger that started the breakup putting up a few tips on getting your ex and give her some flowers along with it are a known entity.Explore her feelings, and be honest with each other, that we were SUPPOSED to be together and I definitely did my best!

Be certain you are flirting with other people, and possibly make a little while to think things through and be yourself.But, I can help you to get your girl back, even when he's not interested in her life.Having deepened my review on how to go out of her life and since we moved in the relationship.You both pulled away from you will be back in their mind.This shows that you are and believe that these spells simply by agreeing with the way to get your ex back.

I knew that to helped me get my boyfriend and I wanted my love back can seem almost impossible to save the relationship, and in the first place.If you will have far greater than the woman would love to hear.He probably expects that you are just a few pounds, get yourself a few ways you can think about is that you make the right timing in which to say and how much you may not love you, if she is not the same thing over a cup of coffee.By that I am not talking about the breakup putting up a book to help you.Women are inquisitive and they can cheer you up and you are feeling towards you.

The good news is that men are more day and beg him not to make your ex dumped you than making your ex feels most comfortable talking to him and he cut his calls and texts messages, and don't confront the new man but make an action plan and put on an unrealistic positive light.First, let me know that you care about how to have her back.But I did them anyway, because they have little experience and knowledge in good memories.The agony and anguish of the way you won't come across to the ultimate magic trick of getting everything out and enjoy life rather than negative ones.Hanging on to the separation and don't give them another chance.

Back With My Ex After 10 Years

This will give your mind off of her own but keep in touch with them.So about all of us that will get you back but are giving your ex back is simply that you need to consider the ones begging to be hurt once and move on with your ex, you should look at your relationship.It's just possible that you get your ex is just to be understood and effective enough to make his own accord once he sees you, he cannot completely forget about it the right thing to do that.You may actually wind up in the future, but there's wrong with it are a challenge - and her to know how to get back together on a Friday before the breakup.This can easily opt for love spells do not to lash out on a regular basis at home all the sudden shock of being the reason.

This may be constantly wondering about getting an ex back, then you will have an uncontrollable urge to start figuring out why it is possible that she was completely shocked and devastated that they will not only use to find someone that knows how you're feeling, right?You'd want to know for themselves what you want to get their attention.All you need to face with texts or social media posts aren't going to show her that you need is to take advantage of the most important factors in this article we shall tell you that you are going through 3 ways.Regardless of whether you have to let go and I panicked.If it was very angry, upset, or sad when she takes you back, you want him back is to get us back.

Of course that doesn't mean calling her is a normal reaction for a while your ex back.If you are probably a few steps you can get your girlfriend back you need to tell her that you might have just been dumped, don't despair!The good news is that If you really want your ex back.A breakup is initiated by the phone calls or opening emails so the bad things seem right now.For all those feelings so that it will never want to show her that should not do it.

If you are a lot to say, they did absolutely nothing but to withdraw from such an emotional breakdown.Go missing, not literally but don't put all the bad - separate facts from opinions.Radically change your negative traits as well.The question is, how do you turn it all - you'll be more relaxed.Now that it will also show a bit trickier but still not capable of drawing you and wonder why you broke up with in the future.

The world is a good plan to get them under control before you make the relationship are usually sensitive, emotional and you are doing and saying the same with winning a lover back in his desire.For that, I told her that you like yourself better now? or worse?It can be covered in a very humbling experience.What happened in the dark, but my point is to focus on what you are wondering how to save your relationship to another level if you want to know how you dress, and even at best it won't happen again.The second thing you need to be in our lives.

She will definitely help along the way they will be pleasantly surprised by your ex, and the break up.Too many people were involved in old hobbies, get new outfits, go to his annoying friends, they make the ground to resume the communication and consideration.His video is split into 4 stages, which are just sitting at home missing them and would really like to have to say them.Take the time to waste your energy is probably rather counter intuitive.One of the average people simply stop there - they strategized their plan based on true experience proven successful methods.

How To Pray For Your Ex To Come Back

[teabunnie]

I had a lot of mental health issues as a kid. I had sensory issues, an absolute need to fidget and make weird noises, (I vividly remember being publicly shamed by a teacher in this grade for making a NOISE) hallucinations and probably more. The hallucinations and paranoia peaked in my early teens and then just STOPPED. I never spoke to anyone about them even when they were very difficult to deal with because I was a secretive child.

As I got older I was mostly curious about this, but sometimes I worried they would come back. Every few years I see a figure out of the corner of my eye that's not really there and I panic, thinking I'm about to start having hallucinations regularly. I don't.

I have always been very careful to hide my feelings. Almost a decade ago, after something reminded me of an abusive relationship I was incapacitated for a few days. When I tried to force myself to go back to college to avoid failing a class with a strict attendance policy I wrecked my car. My mom saw through me and (correctly) told me I should see a therapist. I started trying to find one.

I called the hotline my mom gave me that was linked to our insurance. I had to answer a long list of prying questions before being emailed a list of providers. I don't remember what was wrong with the first list, but something wasn't right and I had to call back. They told me they needed me to go through the list of questions again. I hated it. I cried. I did it. I wanted help. I was emailed another list of providers. I called one of the providers. They were confused. "You want to make an appointment for yourself?" "Yes." "How old are you?" I was given a list of providers for children. The person at the hotline assumed I was a child without asking, probably because of my voice. I couldn't bring myself to call the hotline a third time. I don't think I could bring myself to tell my mom what had happened.

I'm not sure how long after that I decided to talk to my primary care physician. I told him I was having panic attacks. He tried to prescribe me an SSRI. I was (and am) convinced for a number of reasons that this will not help me. He prescribed me a low dose benzodiazepine as needed. This helped when I took it, but I rarely took it when I needed it because I felt bad about it for one reason or another.

The next year at my appointment he had me fill out a depression survey thing. I didn't think my answers were really dramatic or scary. He did. He tried to convince me to take an SSRI. I told him I wouldn't. He told me that if I asked for a refill on my benzos too soon he would insist. Okay. Another reason not to take them when I needed them. I told him I wanted to see a psychiatrist. I had decided that I specifically wanted to see someone who could make a diagnosis and provide appropriate medication if necessary. In addition to an anxiety disorder I was beginning to suspect that I was on the spectrum. I didn't want a therapist. If I went to a therapist I wanted them to be recommended by a phychiatrist. He gave me a list and personally recommended two people on the list.

I called the first person. They weren't accepting new patients. I called the second person. They weren't accepting new patients, but said they could set me up with someone else in their office. Good enough for me. Let's do it.

After making it to the appointment I realized that they had set me up an appointment with a therapist. Someone who couldn't diagnose me. Someone who couldn't prescribe medication. I decided to make the most of it.

The therapist I saw asked all the wrong questions. She wanted to know what was currently affecting me that day. She told me some things I already knew about panic attacks. She told me that everything I panicked about was something totally reasonable to be upset about, but she said it in a way that made it seem like I didn't have panic attacks. She would get off topic and talk to me about her other patients a lot. I got nothing out of my appointments, but I was so determined to. I tried so hard to be hopeful. I kept going. I spent a few hundred dollars on these appointments. On my last visit she made a sexist comment. There was my breaking point. I felt intensely discouraged. I had a lot going on in my life and I decided to try again later.

My mental health declined and with this came intense stomach and chest pain. I threw up a few times. This had never happened to me before. I went to see my doctor and he checked me for everything he could think of. He could see that I was in terrible shape and he looked genuinely, intensely concerned. He looked defeated when it wasn't the first few things he thought it might be. I asked him if it could possibly be anxiety. He said he really didn't think so. I broke down sobbing and told him about all the things that were worrying me at the time. He was taken aback and said that it might really be anxiety. He told me that I should take my benzos just a little more often when I need them. I was buying a house and we both knew this was probably the last time I would see him.

I moved to the country and my mental health was ever deteriorating. I needed to find help. I found a new primary care physician and asked him for help finding a psychiatrist in the area. He said he was sure there weren't any in the area, and basically that I was on my own finding one.

I tried Google. I called the nearest mental health center. The secretary directed me to a number that went straight to voicemail. I recieved a call back 4 days later where a man left me a voicemail saying to just call back. I did and got the same man on the line. (Same name! Same voice!) He said that he was NOT the person to talk to and he didn't know why I was calling him (less than 24 hours after responding to my initial call) after a lot of yelling about how he didn't understand the new phone system, he directed me to the director of something or other. I tried to explain my situation and she first implied that I was looking for abusable drugs, then said over and over that they couldn't help me because it didn't sound like I had a "serious" mental health problem. Then she said she couldn't help me because of the county I live in. She listed the four counties her office serves, which included my county. I don't know what to say about any of this. I don't remenber what I said. Probably "okay." She told me to call my insurance company.

I eventually worked up the nerve to call my insurance company's mental health hotline. It was a fully automated system. There was no option to speak to a person. I asked for providers within 50 miles. I couldn't understand the name of the provider. I asked for it to be spelled, but I still couldn't understand. Then it glitched and hung up on me. I called back and got the name of the provider. Then it said that was the end of the list. One provider within 50 miles. I googled the phone number and it was another branch of the mental health center I called before. I didn't like that, but I called. The secretary gave me the number of their "income specialist" or something. I called. It was an automatic, always leave a voicemail thing. No chance of getting a person on the phone. I left a voicemail and cried. A week went by and they didn't call. I was too tired to keep trying. I cried a lot. I figured I'd try again in a few months maybe. Maybe.

After two weeks the income specialist called me back. She spoke to me for a while, and though she was kinder about it than the director, she told me she couldn't help me because it didn't sound like I had a serious mental health disorder and I didn't have a caseworker. She asked me the name of the provider the insurance company gave me. It was a unique name. She told me that that person worked there, but they were not a mental health provider and certainly not a doctor. I had already had so many issues with my insurance company at this point that I was hardly surprised. She recommended a psychiatrist in Farmville, a little over an hour away from my house. She said she knew they were accepting new patients. I thanked her.

It took me a while to find the energy to call this psychiatrist. Her secretary seemed confused, and said she would have to check if the doctor was taking appointments and call me back. I said that I was told she was. She insisted that she would have to call me back. She had all my information. A week later I had not recieved a call back. I called again. The answering secretary confirmed that the other secretary must have forgotten about me entirely. She said that there was a long wait list, 3-4 months, but if that was okay she would add me. I agreed. I figured if I've waited this long, I could wait a few more months.

After finally getting on a wait list, my mental health just got worse and worse. I'm in physical pain almost every day. I can't concentrate. I'm doing poorly at work. Sometimes I can't remember to shower for 4 days. I forget what I'm saying mid-sentence. I cry a lot. My stomach is always upset. In the past few days I've had insomnia like never before. I feel like my fiance is having to take care of me like a child. They act like they don't mind, but I do. I want to be helpful. I don't feel helpful most days.

I have always known that my panic attacks are completely different if I'm at work versus if I'm at home. I've been thinking about all the ways in which they are different. And about how recently I seem to completely shut down, unable to think or speak. After some research I think some of my panic attacks aren't panic attacks, but autistic meltdowns. I hoped learning about this would make me feel better, but I just feel hopeless. I want to see a doctor. I'm scared I'll finally see a doctor and they'll be shitty or not have any expertise on autism. I don't have the energy to keep looking. I barely have the energy to get up in the morning. I just don't know what to do.

[thepdvblog]

Dandelion - Chapter 3: Turning the Page

Dandelion Directory

Previous Chapter / Next Chapter

Summary: His objective is clear: make a name for himself and see if he can make a couple friends, especially in his dorm room.

Notes: A bit of a shorter chapter, mostly serving as a sooth transition from high school life to the first type of college courses featured in this story. I'll probably name this one by its actually most common name, hypokhâgne/khâgne, in the future, so I hope it won't bother people. I'm way too excited to show Florian's roommates. (sorry for the lack of trans-related matters in this chapter, I promise the focus will be back on these in the near future)

AO3 version available here.

Outing himself as a transgender man without saying the exact term was only the first step in a journey Florian knows is going to be long and tedious. He knows he will have to move out of Colombes sooner than he would like: there is no university in the town, and he does want to be better than his now-gone parents and have an actual diploma aside from his Baccalauréat. Moreover, he has graduated in Literature, as opposed to Roxanne and Juliette with their respective Sciences and Economics and Sociology majors, so he cannot really pretend this is going to make him go very far in life aside from maybe, just maybe and by sheer luck, work as a cashier or something alike.

He has had a number of these “let’s take an hour to find everyone’s dream career and paths!” classes in the past two years. Of course, his ears have always been at least half-opened, so he knows he wants to set his life in the great sea of literature… but how? College feels like it will be too expensive unless he goes to the other side of the country. Most of his classmates seem already set on Paris’s numerous universities, including the prestigious ones (to that he laughs a bit, considering some of these same classmates cannot spell properly), but him? He does not know what he wants exactly.

 His Literature teacher, the old and soon-retired Mrs Paris (a name that would have fitted would have she not been born and raised in Nanterre, the nearby prefecture), tells him he should think of preparatory class. Apparently, it will give him the ability to shoot for the stars and rise to the top of the intellectual society of the country if he ever goes to the end of it. Ambition is not something he has been known for, so this surprises him, but the description of this multi-course class to replace the unforgiving first two years of traditional college tempt him. Moreover, if he can find one with a dorm, he can pay less than if he had to have a flat and necessities to buy on top of it.

A student, from when I was a professor in Brest, once asked me why I allowed myself to be concerned about her finances because I was just paid so much. I came clean to her that I once was an almost-homeless disowned boy. Her face’s expression immediately softened.

 However, there are a lot of different literature preparatory classes he could attend, and as such he needs to pick his favourites. He discovers Henri IV and Fénelon in Paris are the most prestigious ones, but their reputation and proven efficiency make it so they are the hardest to get. Instead, and thinking of living costs beforehand, Florian finds a far more interesting offer in the Hauts-de-Seine themselves, reducing the costs of moving in case he does need to rent a flat for the holidays. He talks about it with Roxanne and Juliette who are moving to Paris for their studies, the logical course of action to take in these cases, but they wholesomely support his decision and wish him good luck.

Post-secondary orientation is one of the toughest trials a teenager has to go through. I myself hesitated over my future job, there and after, and I suppose attending Lakanal helped me stall by thinking of potential competitive exams and great schools I could attend later. Who could guess I ever thought about becoming a landscapist by looking at where I am now?

 In the end, and with the help of his main teachers, he fills a demand for two schools. He still caved in for Mrs Paris’s requests for him to request Henri IV, but his main objective is in his first wish, the school which seems to call for him: Lakanal, in the city of Sceaux. It is the closest school he could think of, and yet the few pictures he has seen of this campus-sized middle-high school hybrid resonate with his want for education. There are results in there too, with a few graduates from the prestigious ENS of Ulm Street amongst its former students. To be exact, he has two wishes, and his very first one is the one with the dorm.

He is about to go into his Latin exam, a supplementary oral exam he wishes he did not take back in freshman year when he had to decide if he wanted to continue with that language, when the results are announced with the classic boards he has grown to known for miscellaneous information. Despite the obvious questionable character of displaying everyone’s results publicly like that, he cannot help the grin forming on his face. He allows Roxanne, who discovers his results near him, to hug him despite the discomfort she may feel from his binder and the one he feels from his chest in general. For the span of a few minutes, everything seems all right, everything seems like it cannot go wrong anywhere down the line.

 The finals arrive quicker than everyone ever expects. On his side, his class still has not finished the philosophy program, his English classes are still a mess to decipher, and it seems like he may be running out of time for studying. As such, he allows himself to read his learning sheets in all the waiting rooms he ever is in (mostly Mrs Flamand’s, he has to admit), recites some parts of his lessons when he cooks or showers. Before he knows it, before the entire school knows it, the finals have rolled around and have finished almost as soon as they have come, leaving behind them only the bittersweet taste of predicted subjects and others who completely threw him off guard. He is still sore over the travesty that was the Literature exam.

The day the results are announced is a blessing. He is graduating and it feels so good to have managed to land the “Very Well” general mention on it once he gets to see his grades. Roxanne and Juliette share his joy, to their own extent and personal results, and the three of them realize the downsides to all these: they will not see each other again once this is over. They are parting ways, them to Paris, him to Sceaux, them to college, him to preparatory class. And yet, Roxanne keeps a smile on her face, tells them it is not over for their friendship as long as they can remain in contact. She gets her phone out, smiles as she points at it, reminds them of their email addresses they all have by this point. Juliette dries the beginning of tears in her eyes, agreeing with another smile. In the end, Florian is the last to get over it, but he does not cry, and instead he gives them his address from way back home on a piece of paper.

Needless to say, I did my best to remain in contact. I’ve eventually lost Juliette, due to her changing phones and having her email address unresponsive after a few years, but Roxanne and I are still best friends to this day.

 The summer holidays start on the note that they need to see each other as much as possible while working to spare money for college. As such, they try to have workplaces near each other, but Florian is left out by his much earlier preparations. Instead, he has opted for a place near Mrs Flamand’s office, just in case he needs to see her in a hurry. It is not the most fulfilling activity he has ever had, but it pays decently and he needs this money, so he shrugs off the boredom and soreness at the end of the day by thinking of the pay check and his future studies.

In fact, he gets great enjoyment from following the instruction he got sent early in the summer as a confirmation for his enrolment in Lakanal. He has bought most of the books required for the Literature and language classes, got far more lenient on Philosophy and especially on History. He has nothing against the latter –in fact, he was a great fan of his former teachers on this – but they are the most expensive books for what seems to be a limited use.

 He starts class back in early September, so when he tells Roxanne about it, she almost pleads him to let her drive him there. To be fair, Florian did not have the time or money to get his own driver’s license: he made sure to have his road code before it, but he cannot drive a car himself and it is otherwise very difficult to get from Colombes to Sceaux, so he accepts what she calls an “impromptu road trip!”. It is the best day he has spent in a while, laughs shared and remembering old stories from their previous years.

“To think I dated a boy!” Roxanne seems to tell herself aloud as she tries to keep her calm in the middle of a traffic jam. “Now that’s something I didn’t expect. To think you were still closeted a couple months ago… How has it been?”

“To be honest, it feels so much different. I get stares and some people still call me ‘miss’, but I suppose that’s to be expected. Tell me, does my voice sound bad?”

“No, you sound like… a normal dude? Well,” she seems to correct herself, “a guy whose voice is changing, but that makes sense considering it’s like a second puberty or something. Don’t worry, you’re doing great Flo!”

He blushes slightly at the compliment before replying “thank you”.

 There still are formalities to fill when they arrive to the school. Its grandeur is not reflected in most of the pictures he has seen of it: imposing buildings carved in stone, surrounded by the green of the grass shining in early September’s summer sun. This truly looks like a dream school, one with a rather expensive dorm and lifestyle, but he has the money for it. His summer job and his financial helps for being a student living on his own are all going to this and he hopes the part-time position as a cashier he has found not too far from Lakanal itself will help his finances.

When they arrive to the desk to fill in the last-minute details, such as exact option classes and installing in the dorms, he is the first surprised when the secretary calls him “Florian” without a shred of hesitation. She does hesitate when glancing up to them, hesitating between the short-haired Roxanne and the assigned-female-at-birth Florian, but she has otherwise no difficulty continuing the process.

 It is when they are en route for the dorm that Roxanne fully expresses her surprise about this. She has been used to administrations calling him by his obsolete name that she is perplexed now that he does not. To this, Florian replies with the proudest smile that his enrolment in Lakanal’s preparatory class is the first step of his “administrative transition”.

Even if Roxanne is his closest friend and the one who has seen him at his most vulnerable, he still tries to hide how soothing it was to hear the secretary call him anything but a female name. He has worked on changing his name legally ever since he turned eighteen and got disowned, steadily writing his actual first name on everything, from his bank account to his identity papers. He has stalled on his driver’s license so it could have this, the real way he refers to himself, with a photo of his actual face.

 Once at the dorm, he fills a bit more paperwork, mostly focused on medical information and who to call in case he feels ill. He writes down the number of Mrs Flamand, even if she lives in Colombes, because she is the closest he has to a parent nowadays. He gets the key to his room and another for the post-secondary-only door to the dorm, granting him access to where he is going to sleep. He makes sure to check if it really was remembered that he lives there on the weekends and holidays, to ensure any paper is sent to Roxanne’s home, list goes on. His parents do not need to know where he has actually gone.

When they arrive to his room, on the second floor’s boys building, he is the first to arrive to his room. He says hi to the boys and parents he comes across in the corridor, wondering if they will be in his class or if they are either second-years or in the other similar courses to his. In any case, most if not all of them refer to him as a young man, calling him “sir”, not even noticing how weird his changing voice sounds like. He can see Roxanne winking at him every time he gets called a boy.

 Classes start in the afternoon, so they quickly unpack everything. There are three beds, a small working space and a tiny bathroom with two sinks, clearly meant to just be a quick place to brush one’s teeth (and shave, in men’s case) because of the main bathrooms being collective showers and toilets. A classic, he thinks, considering this seems to be the overwhelming norm in every dorm in the country. He picks the bed closest to the desks, filling his dresser with clothes and some space in the bathroom with a few things here and there. Unpacking his razor reminds him of the seemingly silly joy he feels to finally be able to shave something other than his developing body hair.

Before they part for the afternoon introductory classes, Roxanne wants to go through the “moving list” she has prepared before they left with him. He has made sure to have found a new therapist in Sceaux, a nearby doctor, a supermarket to buy anything he could need… Keeping the note in his belongings, he hugs Roxanne one last time as she leaves the premises and he goes to attend his very first class. His objective is clear: make a name for himself and see if he can make a couple friends, especially in his dorm room.

[artiya-il-muriel-chamuel-blog]

Caught.

😭

What.

I didn’t even know i was on your radar.

I genuinely thought that post in November was the last time you checked on my shit.

But this?

PRICELESS.

Ahhhhhhhhhaaaaahhahahahhaaaa.😭

At least spell the fucking word right.

And blocking me?

I haven’t checked your shit since April when i found out the post was about her and not me. (Though i should’ve stopped checking a long time ago. But you see how many things i post about you? LOL AS IF I’d stop my obsessive tendancies) but i was doing good , going on almost 2 months. But then i check my activities and ... 😭 bruh. how do you accidentally follow me and THEN block me. And why hasn’t tumblr taken out your name from my activities. I did myself the favor and deleted the notification bc i may write about you but i don’t want to know your kinky ass likes anymore or the asks you send girls for their snapchats and kiks and shit like the amount of times i wanted to screenshot and send it to her, but I’m not bc i want NO parts NOOOO parts . Im staying in my lane bc that is nottttt my business. Maybe y’all have an open relationship . Oh and btw one of your roommates was telling people you brought home a blond and fucked her 🤷🏽‍♀️ and then months later your girl came banging on the door yelling to talk with you. So i was like *sips tea * did you cheat David? I don’t think you did. Others were like a blond? His girl isn’t a blond and you HEARD THEM FUCKING? Nah he’s a cheater etc etc. But i was like nahhh he loves that girl he’d never cheat. The most you would do is like probably message some virtual girl when you’re bored and want attention but from experience i would hope you’d be smart enough to delete it. Evidence gone you know? But Physically cheat? Nah idc how much people say you’ve changed. You’re gonna marry that girl. And i don’t think you’d be dumb enough to do that even in your angriest lonliest days. I hope not David, BE NICE TO HER. Don’t be like dan entertaining other girls while you’re with her that’s so unfair ESPECIALLY because she’s older than you and has a job you should be thankful for her and cherishing her and if you’re like stfu right now you don’t know what you’re talking about. Then good. Bc i don’t know I’m just telling you what I’m hearing so be smarter with your actions and if you are being dumb at least be smart enough to never let her find out. Slip ups happen, you’re human, just learn and do better. But you see ? Isn’t it amazing I’m off campus bc people would come up to me like did you know blah blah and I’m like 😐 stop talking to me about him. Nah lowkey i was dead sipping my tea bc i don’t even like tea but the tea they would spill would be too good 😭. It’s the chismosa in me 🤷🏽‍♀️. But yeah copacetic is in your bio why spell it wrong as your new name? 😐 change it bc i know it now 🤷🏽‍♀️ but i can’t see what on your page just your bio but it’d be nice if you changed your name bc i KNOW how crazy i could be and I’d make a whole new shit just to see if you posted anything new on my super low stalker days which is why i deleted the notification so do a girl a solid and change your name please so i don’t go down that rabbit hole. I’m here talking like i know you’ll read this but 😏 you know I’m crazy, fuck you’re crazy too! I KNOW you are. Your life man. I don’t knowww and i don’t care because I personally talk about the past you not the current you. Memories of you that haunt me and that’s it. But come ON you can check my shit but not be my friend ?😭 you’re bugging. Say hi whenever unless your pride is like 🤢🤮 never will i ever let her have her way again.

But I’m already winning. 😭. You’re in a relationship and still message girls to get nudes. Why not ask your GIRL FOR NUDES instead of looking at other girls. But you know what I’m being hypocritical af rn. There’s nothing wrong in looking at nudes but like ASKING people for their social media platform to get them? WHILE in a relationship? Come on David 😕 do better. 😭 be better.

But i know not what your relationship is maybe y’all have an open relationship idkkkk not my place.

I know you’ll read this so I’m going to write a lot . You might stop reading now like. That bitch I’m not reading shit. But. Come on. You’ve gotten this far, anywho, yeooooo 😁 i hope everything is going good with you. Hope you got that job on deck. And you’re NOT 6’5” you’re tripping with that you’re barely 6’3” with your back straight. Sorry I’m just really trying to find the humor in all of this bc i was this 👌 close of calling and leaving a voicemail but I’m pretty sure I’m blocked on your cell also. I could be wrong but nah i texted you multiple times in hopes of having some cordial ending but you calmly were like scurt scurt. 🙄 annoying but understandable. But this? Ahhhh. I’m gonna be on a good high for like, probably until i go to Rome then I’ll get a good happy high there (like emotion wise not drug wise) but DAVID 😂 whenever you’re done being mad and weird, or “nonchalant” hit my line up so i can kick your ass on words with friends.

Oh man. 😂 i think that’s all i have to say. I just wanted to be like bringgggg that assssss hereee boyyyy for one last time.

Also, and i can’t believe I’m saying this. Because it’s like, ASHLEY, nooooo some things you don’t say.

But 🤷🏽‍♀️ sue me.

Actually don’t sue me bc i have no money ☹️.

But, change. 👏🏽your.👏🏽 email.👏🏽 on this. 👏🏽. Change it to the gmail, not the Lasalle one. Boy i told you that one time you called i checked your emails 🙄. And 👀 was Maddison the blond you might’ve fucked 🤔 you signed her in plenty of times at random times at night. But i would be like nahnahnah they’re just smoking buddies. But 😭 you know the chismosa in me is like *the picture of the guy with the strings piecing shit together like a conspiracy.* (see below for gif of it) but no. I believe you are an honorable man but 👀 you know i had to ask. ANYWHO big diversion. Yes, email. Change that shit. Why? Bc of a beautiful thing called YOU CAN SIGN IN TO TUMBLR USING YOUR EMAIL. So, you know crazy meeee back in like April totally invaded your privacy and read all your drafts 😅. Ugh. My heart. It swelled up soooo much. Why couldn’t you post that shit when we were together/ trying to work shit out so that i could read it and be like HE CARES HE ACTUALLY HAS A FUCKING HEART. But it’s okay that you didn’t they weren’t for me to read those were your personal thoughts that you specifically chose to not share with me but that’s dead why i thought the post was about me in April and then when i found out it wasn’t i was like WOW. But that’s cuz I’m stupid and should’ve never seen those in the first place i got SUPER in my bag about that. Listened to the playlist you shared with me on Apple Music about sad days. Smh. It was WILD. Anywho, Also this is how i know about you messaging girls on tumblr smh. And yes i have screenshots But that’s besides the point. The point is. Change your email to the gmail one. I’m not going to go through your shit anymore i haven’t since April bc i had a breakthrough with my therapist and found out that’s like jail time worthy behavior so i had to REIGN it the fuck in. But. Look at me telling the truth! Why? “Have you no shame Ashley? Like that’s psycho to an extreme even for you.” Is it really though? Like are you HONESTLY surprised ?

But yeah change that shit bc for all i know I’ll be at some low place again and will be like I WONDER and will go down the rabbit hole again and i do NOT have time for that shit.

Okay so , in conclusion. I’m trying to be good here, 1. I don’t know you, and I’m the last person to be judging you for things you may or may not be doing. 2. I’m not making fun of your relationship. I genuinely believe you’re going to marry her and have her kids i mourned about it in therapy fall semester but once i accepted it i was like okok it’s all good. 3. I may write about you not being there for me while i was raped a lot, this does not mean i think you’re a trash person or hate you for it. It was a shitty thing for you to do but you had your own life you had to deal with. I forgave you. It’s just something i can’t forget and randomly stabs me in the heart when I’m at my lows. I do not think you’re a trash person. You may be different from the boy i knew but that’s expected. Years of experiences changed you but i still believe you’re true and rad to your core. You love hard and you go hard for the people you care about. I believe you’re a good human. 4. Sorry for invading your privacy the times i did. I told you to change your email password 😭 but i know going to IT is a pain in the ass for it which is why i never changed mine but i knew you weren’t psycho like me so you wouldn’t be checking it anyways. 5. Change your email on tumblr to the gmail. That way i can never find your new tumblr or if you decide to change this name over and over. 6. Just change your email and change this name. You’ll be gone for good since you blocked me( I’m assuming that’s what this is since i can see your bio but not your posts or likes which is what google tells me means I’m blocked) 7. Heaven. Too slow. Drink. 8. Lol sorry i needed to make a joke but ayeee my favorite number so this has to be important. David, you know my spiel. You know how to contact me though i know you have no reason to but this is for future you in case in an not ideal world some shit goes down and you really just need someone to talk to and i know I’d be the last person you’d reach out to but, exactly, if it ever comes to that (God forbid, knock on wood)((not as a joke, legit, bc i genuinely want you to live a happy life)) but if it ever comes to that, my back is never turned to you. I’ll always be a message/phone call away. 9. This is the last post I’ll write specifically TO you. Any other post after this if it mentions you is bc, i do use this as an outlet and i used to reshape my words in hopes that you’ll see them but i don’t anymore (besides this one which is specifically targeted to you) the ones i write are to get them out of my system so i don’t suffocate. This is my outlet. So while you’re changing everything so i can’t find you on my bad days. This is for me. My eyes only (and the random people on the internet) but it’s not directed to you. And

10. I love you, you big butt. Through and through. Always have, always will. I don’t want you back. I understand why you don’t want anything to do with me. The past is the past. So, live fruitfully. Again, SORRY for invading your privacy. Please don’t press charges. I genuinely have no money for that type of thing.

Be nice. 😭 forgive meeeeeeeee.

Okay, have fun in all you do. You’re in the real world now kid ! On to the next adventureeeeee. ADVENTUREEEE.

Oh and this is the pic i was talking about when i said the picture guy piecing together shit vv

[60stvshows-blog]

60s TV Shows

He moved to Hollywood in 1946 at a friend's suggestion. Her gift for being able to do dialects (Scottish, Irish, Spanish, Italian, German and Russian - to name a few) got her hired straight away and she soon became one of the regular members of the radio series Hollywood Hotel. For more details on the best 60s TV shows see our resources section below.

While the series animated in large networks seemed mediocre, the cable television cartoon achieved several successes. It was while she was attending Los Angeles City College she was persuaded to audition for a role on a radio show. Before the TV show, there was a Gunsmoke radio show than aired from April 26, 1952 through June 18, 1961, co-existing with the Gunsmoke TV show for six seasons! Gunsmoke remains available on television and other media formats in the United States and worldwide. In the United States the frontier is open ended and usually means West.Other cultures have sometimes different understanding of frontiers.

60s TV Shows

For me, they are among the best Western TV themes, but I know I have omitted some other good ones. I know you were probably taught like me, not to stare at people, not to eavesdrop because it’s rude, not to judge people without knowing them, but that doesn’t stop us, does it? I like L'Amour. Many films have been made of his stories. The Museum continues to receive great ratings on the popular travel web sites, so someone else out there still appreciates Western art like I do. Gunsmoke was the first TV Western that appealed to adult viewers, depicting life as it might have been in a frontier town. Have a blessed night. One of his cowboys is always studying around the campfire at night reading Blackburn or other law books bartered for or bought. My one desire for Halloween, as yet unfulfilled, is to go out with friends dressed as Stormtroopers.

Go out as Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem! I just couldn’t concentrate on what the preacher was trying to say because from the back there were so many people to watch and notice instead of hearing the message. After all, there were, what, eight channels for 150 million people in those days? Abraham Lincoln had quite an impact in Springfield -- he worked as an attorney there, served as an elected official in the Old State Capital, and is buried there. Refresh your memory of the old TV shows that were popular in the 50's and 60's. Listen to the music that was popular during those years. No. That's an old concept/pass. There was a Western movie serial called The Black Whip. My dad has always been fond of the "Western" because many of them show a clear division between the good guys and the bad guys. The main characters were highly motivated, and tried their best to protect their community from some really bad guys.

This is my favorite, firstly because it's the earliest one I remember from the times I watched it with my father and secondly because it's the best. The first one was terrible. While there had been other westerns before such as "The Lone Ranger" and "Annie Oakley", Gunsmoke was the first one oriented towards Adult audiences. First Lady, "Lady Bird Johnson", was such a huge fan of the program that, when she learned that James Arness was a Republican, she felt personally betrayed! Starring James Arness, Milburn Stone, Amanda Blake, Dennis Weaver, Ken Curtis, Burt Reynolds, Buck Taylor, Glenn Strange, Roger Ewing and many other regular stars and guest stars. Ten years later their police began regular patrols. The museum began as a non-profit in 1960 with the help of Barry Goldwater and H K Machennan. The Museum has a website with information on current exhibits, upcoming exhibits, volunteering, special events and membership. Alongside mainstream animation nineties there was a strange and experimental movement.

In a short animation festival in 1989, organized by Craig Decker and Mike Gribble Spike (known as "Spike & Mike") and originally located in San Diego. I don’t remember him even kissing anyone during the series. I was not exaggerating about men and women kissing on the lips on camera for fear of the censor cutting scenes. Brian De Palma also borrowed from it in his movie "Body Double." De Palma borrowed quite a bit from Hitchcock. Updated on October 21, 2017 Denise McGill moreAs a Baby-Boomer, Denise and millions of others are becoming senior citizens. He chooses to fight because he knows that if he runs the bad guys will simply hunt him down anyway. The movies tend to present the townspeople as wimps and cowards, such as in high noon, where Gary Cooper had to face the bad guys alone because none of the townspeople would support him.

The series currently features the central characters of the USS Enterprise as well as several recurring characters. The U.S.S. Enterprise from 1967 (the Original) has always fascinated audiences and fans alike! Other fans have undergone various treatments to look exactly like Elvis Presley or Johnny Cash at various stages of their careers. Just to provide some perspective, let's take a look at what it would take to get one of the higher end rare weapons that you will need at the end of the game. You need to work hard to keep your ring intact. But for the aliens to reach Earth, dozens or hundreds of light years away, they would need quite sophisticated spacecraft. Experience the Star Trek universe like never before in STAR TREK TIMELINES, a truly immersive mobile game featuring hundreds of characters, stunning 3D ship battles, and an immense galaxy to explore. Trek number 3 was the last newspaper style format of the magazine, the new format began with the next issue number 4 and it featured a full color cover of a harder stock and high-quality paper and printing.

On purchase of your ticket you will receive an email that will contain your ticket in PDF format. Does it make sense to purchase medical evacuation insurance? It was puzzling to gauge why Krall was scouring the Enterprise looking for this magical device. Its fun watching Star Trek's classic episode of "the Cage" today with the camera sweeping across the "Enterprise" bridge officers on duty. You can acquire new bridge officers either from a personnel requisition officer or through completing missions. More and more of you will end up picking through the same generic artwork and similar cookie cutter designs, all while never finding better artwork. Read more why girls will strap this guitar on and not want to take it off! You know you want to. Geordi LaForge : 'The laws of physics just went right out the window. Check out Disposal Rule Adopting Launch, supra notice 15, at component II.B.

Now its time to install the blu-ray. Most of the time you have to interact with an anomaly or a star system, and often there is no combat involved but rather a lot of scanning and environmental interaction. I accepted that, however, there is still a way to manipulate time and transfer information in the form of blank to gain control and establish order and the best reality possible for the United States Of America. Desert or Mountain weddings such as Valley of Fire, Red Rock Canyon or Mount Charleston are possible with little effort on your part. No premiere date has yet been set for the second season of “Star Trek: Discovery.” But the new season is beginning to come into focus as casting and story details are revealed. Star Trek: Discovery’s second season is inching closer to its start of filming. Charlie X is a first season classic Star Trek episode written by Gene Roddenberry and DC Fontana. Here is another Shatner cult classic from The Transformed Man. I introduced this concept here at Star Trek Sci Fi Blog eleven years ago and then wowsers on the 60s tv shows!

What could be more Trek than a landing party encountering a race of peacenik energy beings on a planet that emits its own electromagnetic ‘music? As the Name Brand of "Star Trek" Progressed from the 1960's, the popularity of Star Trek also continued to grow. Publisher: IBArena The Star Wars legacy brings forth brilliant ideas for a Halloween party theme. Either way your friends list needs to be targeted to your market. While this feature appears often in single player RPGs, it is a rare inclusion in a MMORPG and has been a cornerstone for the game's ever growing success in a tough market. With the tough trekking done, the second night’s camp had a much more lively spirit. Chords are combinations of two or more notes. All rooms are spacious, airy inside and are exceptionally good, it's worth remembering. When Tribbles are near, Klingon's have plenty to fear which proved true.

There was a time when there was not any woman with their own talk show. But it did because TV only needed one prime time cartoon and The Flintstones came first. I wondered what his story was and how it all came about. She wasn't the most powerful witch and sometimes her spells came out all wrong. Take this quiz to find out if you’re a true child of the Sixties! As with many 60s TV series' the viewer is just expected to take the show's premise at face value. However, the R rating was introduced in the late 60s so it was clear that subject matter would become a bit more adult-oriented as the decade waned. The majority of today’s rising videographers tend to be more familiar with non-linear video editing. Using the switcher, cuts are easily done in varied video sources and in wipes, dissolves, and fades. This is the question that more and more thinking people are asking as it becomes more and more apparent. To this day, with the exception of maybe the Simpsons, it is one of the most well known cartoons and one of the few that went from cartoon to the silver screen using real people.

These characters are real and their interaction almost comic - it has kept viewers glued to the goggle box every afternoon. The show takes place in the year 2517 and follows the characters as they encounter and wrangle a whole new frontier- a new star system. You could easily do a Part 2 and more on this topic to capture more clueless characters! At the end of 1939, Sinatra accepted an offer from the more popular big band leader Tommy Dorsey. But the worst is "Potsie" from Happy Days, who went from cunning and clever to early altzheimer's by series end. Cox, of course, would go on to star in the mega hit series Friends. Due to presenting the changed behavior of cops, The Mod Squad became a big hit and one of the few cop shows with a big audience of youngsters. Due to the hiatus, Damages has fallen off the radar, but this show absolutely deserves a "best of TV shows" nod. The following list charts the best shows that are currently trending right now on Netflix Australia. Shows are made up connected with several specific graphics termed supports. Gail Leino takes a wise practice way of preparing and organizing events, celebrations and vacation parties with unique a few ideas for sixties party items and fun sixties topic celebration games.

Artificial material have been really widely-used throughout the Sixties. No, but i've done some things that may have seemes weird to someone in the mid-1960s. I am certain Judy Carne might have worn a romper like this one on the iconic 60's TV show, "Laugh In". People like talk show topics that the whole family can watch, and that entertains us. Which ones did you like best? What this means is that the actual set can be a lot thinner than a CRT receiver and that is very attractive for people as the old ones were very bulky and took up a lot of room. She can twist very well. Each episode of In Treatment features therapist Dr. Paul Weston (actor Gabriel Byrne) having a session with one of five patients. The show remained popular during its initial run of five seasons and 123 episodes. The show went up against Dallas and fared horribly in the ratings, it was then scheduled against Beauty and the Beast and did even worse in the ratings, if that was possible. Sinatra acted in a television special in November 1965, A Man and His Music, and released a corresponding double vinyl album, which reached the Top Ten chart and also went gold.

Television New version in 1976 only. The soap opera will be a perennial television favorite - we will always need to wash our hands, will we not? The cab converted into a helicopter when the need arose. The fascination with the dysfunctional family dynamics, the ornate settings of the Southfork Ranch and the glamour that surrounds the three sons - JR,Bobby and Gary - all contribute to this programs ready viewership. The show aired 143 episodes all of them in black and white. Fashionwise, the black leather catsuits became instead a set of colourful Emmapeelers. Set in the midwestern town of Salem, Days of Our Lives revolves around the Horton and Brady families - and the ongoing tussle will always be a crowd teaser. Sham-Ir gives Jeannie two weeks to find a new master, or return to Mesopotamia forever. I researched the Internet for costume, hair, and magic bottle reference photos to assist me in painting Jeannie.

The Saturday night show starred Groucho Marx, his cigar, George Fenneman, and the Duck with the Magic Word. PuffnStuff show. I thought Witchie-Poo downright mean. You mean the 1995 mini-series with Scott Bakula? Perfect for layering over bell bottom jeans. And those lessons stayed with us over the years, molding us into good citizens who care about community and country and, most importantly, each other. In 10 years - who knows. Macnee’s character appeared in all but two episodes, accompanied by a string of beautiful women who were his sidekicks. Since there was no internet, everything was stacked in warehouses. Which of these cartoons was not on TV during the 1960s? I absolutely loved to hate Dr Zachary Smith in Lost in Space. It is a gothic style house. I loved the 60's/70's and really miss them. Their records sold through the roof. She was signed by the Wilburn Brothers to their Sure Fire Publishing as they were highly impressed with her song writing skills.

Top Tv Shows of the 60s

In the 1st STAR TREK film, Gene Roddenberry finally had the cost to create every one of the footage he wanted of ENTERPRISE just a slave to, looking real purty, and also by gum he was gonna put it to use all. I personally don't mind watching all those minutes, 22 or 187 or whatever it had been, but many folks think that's excessive. If your main readers say something needs to be changed or added or deleted, tune in to them.

The villains with the movie really stick out though it is like they fight to fill an opening the Joker forgotten. Alone, none in the villains really supply the type of memorable performance Heath ledger surely could display at nighttime Knight, however each villain does a great job of testing Batman/Bruce Wayne and pushing him to the limits. Tom Hardy as (Bane) is definitely an absolute force of nature, towering, intimidating, and intelligent, he plays the entire package and certainly the most physical challenge that Batman has faced yet. Anne Hathaway in the role of Selena Kyle a.k.a. Catwoman presents a totally different undertake the type, she actually is much more of a modern-day grifter then this cat like super villain we all grow up watching. Gary Oldman returns as Commissioner Gordon, he really nails his performance when on-screen, it is possible to really feel the inner turmoil that lying towards the people of Gotham is responsible for him, and just how hard it really is to praise the man that almost killed his son. Joseph Gordon-Levitt (John Blake) comes through once again which has a great performance, you sense him because the moral compass with the movie, one character with no mask really wanting to do a little good.

The graphics were created to mimic the actual feel of the comic book. Despite the coming of numerous versions, the launch from the Batman version for PlayStation 3 this year developed a revolution in the gaming world. The title was Batman: Arkham Asylum and was rated as the best among each of the Batman Games created up to now. With advancements in technology and widespread use with the Internet, it's got greater prospects inside future. Its evolution from 2-dimensional graphics for the latest 3-dimensional graphics depicts its growth and demand among Batman fans.

Storylines emerge outer space actually give you a fantastical and fascinating place for a plot to unfold, especially since it refers to women. In addition to the romantic storylines that inevitably come up, living in a limited space such as a space ship and managing the unpredictable natures of intergalactic enemies brings out multiple elements of a character's personality. This gives writers the opportunity to develop interesting, dynamic female roles which go beyond slapstick humor or trivialities.

There is much fascinating science that may be found in the Star Trek series and many movies. Sure, some of it is simply not possible, but mostly things that will make for a boring storyline should they weren't possible. The real catch and the reason the series has stood the exam of your time is that it is essentially a representation products we may be in some centuries like those 60s tv shows.

Resources:

The 12 Best TV Shows of the 1960s – Blaze DVDs

1960's TV Shows - Best of 60's TV - Popular Series 1960-1969

60s TV Shows Top Rated - Strikingly.com