#but i refuse to acknowledge that reality
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Redrew the first piece of art I ever posted on tumblr (and its 2014 redraw) and just now realised the original is 10 years old and I am old.
#my art#I am only slightly horrified its been a decade#at least the art is better lol#also yes the original is hetalia fanart and this is therefore technically hetalia fanart in the year of our lord 2023#but i refuse to acknowledge that reality#Its funny my art hasnt reaaaaalllly improved all that much from 2014#at least compared to the progress i made 2011-2014 by drawing everyday#but idk something about my art now feels more.... mature? idk i feel like its very obvious in the earlier ones that i was ut a teen#its weird i dont have the drive to do art now like i did then but then when i do it its like seeing a friend#like i have to put in the effort to have this relationship i didnt have to do when i was young but im happy im keeping it alive#hmm looks like im getting existential uh oh#ah well#heres to 10 more years of (if minimal) growth
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rewatched madoka magica again today bc i fucking hate myself and to absolutely no one’s surprise i went through all five stages of grief in a single evening
#let’s talk about sayaka miki for a second#genuinely the fact that her whole character is centered around tragedy almost to a shakespearean extent#she’s selfless and brave and values her justice and righteousness above all. calls herself an ally of justice#in fact i think it’s rather intriguing how her whole character is centered around “justice”#her story being a more twisted retelling of the original little mermaid#how she is initially portrayed as a very heroic and confident character even before becoming a magical girl. always shielding madoka#selling her soul to heal the boy she loved out of a selfless desire to see him well again#her being absolutely distraught abt being robbed of her humanity and betrayed by kyubey#she combats this harrowing realization by immersing herself in her duties not caring that she is slowly deteriorating in the process#becoming numb with pain and fighting recklessly and psychotically trying to drown out the pain#finally coming to the sickening conclusion that humanity doesn’t deserve her saving and she succumbs to a fate of her making#last words being “i was so stupid” which trumps her previous statement of “there’s no way i’d regret this”#ALSO? the fact that her costume and weapon are symbolic of a knight. she rly portrays this hero of justice who will protect and defend ☹️#i think abt the fact that homura said that sayaka’s wish was so selfless it was only a matter of time before she died#sayaka being the example of what happens to magical girls who go through the entire cycle and eventually become witches is so sad to me#genuinely just like. sick and twisted#very very fucked up.#characters who have their own misconstrued interpretation of “justice” or who are centered around justice in general.#you will always be dear to me.#sayaka reminds me a lot of akechi in some ways ngl#harboring an almost idealized vision of justice but it slowly rots and festers and corrupts their hearts the more immersed w it they become#actually losing their sanity when they fight bc of how much pain they’re in but refuse to acknowledge it until they break#refusing any help and wallowing in misery despite having ppl who love them and want to save them#last words are those expressing regret for being such a fool. for being ignoring#being used by yhe main villain as a stepping stone towards their true goal. they were merely a pawn#also doomed in every version of their reality. always doomed by the narrative no matter what choices they make#i have a type i fear#HAHAHAH ALSO the fact that they’re both dressed so regally compared to everyone else in their respective series#meant to portray them in a virtuous and princely light. only made more apparent by the sword being their weapon of choice#i’m gonna shut up now but they’re soo eerily similar its unnerving tbh 💀
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People will literally read your post about atheism, say they agree with you but that being fully 100% atheist and not agnostic IS a Christian thing, and then block you when you say no that is not true at all and is the polar opposite of my point.
#gingerswagfreckles#Jumblr#atheism#atheist#it is insane how completely people just refuse to acknowledge that atheists who just completely dont believe in God at all#exist with backgrounds other than ex Christian#like ohh yeah Jewish atheists exist but not the BAD kind that really dont even wonder sometimes if there might be something out there#like hey bbygirl#it is your personal biases based on your own spiritual beliefs that tells you truly not even wondering about god is bad#and also you are wrong. there are many many many jews who are 100% atheists YES for realsies#and many many people from all religious backgrounds who feel like this#and your discomfort with it doesnt change that#i promise you that wherever you draw the line between ~good~ atheism and ~bad~ atheism#there are jewish people who exist beyond it and ex muslims who exist beyond it and people from all religious backgrounds who exist beyond i#and denying this is a denial of reality#jumblr
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funny how everyone seemed to adore Zack until he started having more screentime...
#it's honestly very surprising. i see hate towards him almost every day since Remake came out and i wish i was kidding#and yeah yeah i know other characters get lots of hate too but the hate towards him has been so sudden and random???#idk maybe he *was* hated before but i just didn't notice#but at the same time no. i'm 100% sure the hate increased considerably after he was shown to be alive in the Remake#i feel like some people are just weirdly concerned he is gonna overshadow the main characters which is stupid#this story is still about Cloud and the others#we're just gonna explore another reality (allegedly) with Zack it's not that deep bro#(rebirth spoilers) -> even in Zack's timeline Cloud AND Aerith are there#and who knows how many more#like i get shippers being petty because when are they not petty#but i've seen non-shippers/casual players saying they do not want to see more of him and being all bitter bc he's important#he's always been important you all just refuse to acknowledge it!!!#no matter how many times hamaguchi nomura nojima etc say he's super important ppl just keep denying it 💀#as if y'all know more than the freaking devs i'm getting tired of this bs#my post#i'm glad the devs love him as much as we do. cry about it
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Do you think what you're experiencing right now is similar to what Kristoph went through after his murder? the paranoia, the delusions, etc.
"...Paranoia? Delusions? What are you talking about?"
#~𝕋𝕨𝕚𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕕 𝕁𝕦𝕤𝕥𝕚𝕔𝕖 ../~ murderpollo au#ace attorney ask blog#ask blog#apollo justice#ace attorney#// brother clueless#// i think he's aware deep down that something is wrong with his reality but he's refusing to acknowledge it
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"Although [Richard III] himself seems to have not been aware of this until it was too late, it was the duke himself who destroyed his brother [Edward IV's] polity in the name of preserving it."
-Rosemary Horrox, Richard III: A Study of Service
#It's one of the things I find most interesting about his reign#But it's rare to find concrete discussions on it because Ricardians simply refuse to acknowledge the actual reality of 1483-85#They live in their fantasy fictional AU instead#richard iii#15th century#english history#my post#queue
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How deranged does the US look to the rest of the world to be proudly welcoming an indicted war criminal to address Congress?
#bernie sanders#Congress is wrong yet again#netanyahu is a war criminal#Netanyahu should not be welcome#arrest netanyahu#jews for palestine#accountability isn't antisemitism#Anti-Zionism isn't anti semitism#stop weaponizing words#apartheid#save palestine#israel is an apartheid state#ethnic cleansing#free palestine 🇵🇸#genocide#icc war crimes tribunal#israeli war crimes#israel lies while palestine dies#I hope most of Congress walks out or doesnt even bother to show up#this isnt the first time#when Obama was in office Netanyahu came and gave a speech to congress but refused to meet with Obama because he dared to acknowledge reality#the us continues to cover and lie for israel#the US is complicit in genocide and war crimes#international criminal court#Netanyahu indicted#shameful#israel is a terrorist state#israel is committing genocide#israel is an illegal occupier#propaganda kills
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Unfortunately for all of you, I'm not dead. My resolution is to not engage with stupidity, because there is no changing people who are inherently stupid since stupid clings to stupid, and that rules out a lot of the internet. If you're not stupid, and typically I try not to follow those who are, I wish you happiness and fulfillment. If you are stupid, rot. 🩷
#bye for now#if stupidity still had consequences the world would be a better place#this isn't even about a sport or fandom it's about existence don't get it twisted#i don't care about your shitty f1 takes i care that you can't think critically and refuse to acknowledge reality and facts in the real worl
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wait… luke and zayn collab?? would be cool??
#??!?!?!?? SCREECHES AND THEN HIDES BC I ALSO DONT ACTUALLY MEAN THIS#SOLELY BC I THINK IT WOULD BE PAINFUL AND JUST THE THOUGHT OF MEDIA EVEN THINKING ABOUT PROMO QUESTIONS#HAS ME STRESSED THE FUCK OUT#BUT ALSO THEIR VIBES??? LIKE ON STARDUST???#BUT ALSO I WOULD NOT TOUCH THAT COLLAB IN REALITY WITH A TEN FOOT POLE#BC NOBODY WOULD COME OUT OF THAT UNSCATHED OR LIKE AT LEAST A LITTLE FUCKED UP#I DONT TRUST THE MEDIA WITH THAT#AT ALL#LIKE EVER#TALK ABOUT SOMETHING THAT WOULD DEFINITELY LEAD TO AN AWKWARD AF INTERVIEW#although#be really fucking hilarious for them to collab#and then drop the collab#but never ever mention it#and almost refuse to acknowledge it exists#bc i would avoid that promo sooooo bad#i hate that this was even a thought#REDACTED THOUGHT#alison speaks?#lukey#zayn
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AND ANOTHER THING. saying that the latinos who voted for trump aren’t “real latinos” overlooks the fact that a lot of latinos (ESPECIALLY 2nd gen and immigrants. undocumented or not) are conservative.
this doesn’t make them less latino. being latino does not mean being progressive, or liberal, or socialist or etc. it just means you’re from latinamerica.
denying them their identity doesn’t make them exempt from anything. it just ignores the issues in our community of colorism, classism, queerphobia, and xenophobia. just because you’re latino (just because you’re not white) does not mean you’re not complicit. it doesn’t absolve you of anything.
#emyrs.txt#a bunch of ppl helped me put this into words btw.#been feeling it since 2016 but it all boiled over right this second i guess. lol.#drives me fucking crazy like.#at least acknowledge the issues that the community in the u.s. has!!! u can’t just go. man those guys aren’t even apart of this 🤣 a REAL#latino would never—#YES THEY WOULD!!!! YES THEH FUCKING WOULD!!! THEY DID!!!!! we are not a monolith!!!#refusing to acknowledge it doesn’t help anyone!!!!!!!! it just absolves YOU of guilt!!!!!#sorry everyone expect more of these i am spiraling.#and also like. i’m so fucking disappointed and embarrassed. how badly must you hate yourself. hate your fucking family. your MOTHER.#your SISTERS. how out of touch must you be from reality. to put the economy over everything else.#ignorando el sufrimiento y sacrificio de tu familia!!!!!!#no teniendo nada de compasión por tus hermanes que están pasando por lo mismo o peor!!!!!!!#i thank god daily *** won’t be there at thanksgiving or christmas bc i’m about to start fights only god could pull me out of.
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always always always that stubbornly kept hope that like. not even the hope that his parents would change or understand him, but the hope to understand them and their reasons better. in order to. forgive
#blue lock spoilers#blue lock#hiori#barasbs#n somehow we're back here again#that time in july when all I could think about was this one wip where hiori is trying to mend his relationship w his parents while they#refused to acknowledge anything theyve done to him. that suffocating sense of the struggle to accept reality and forgive and let go n all#n THEN around the same time some hiori artists posted their comics w literally the same themes. unprompted. hiori stan hivemind always#anyways. the new trivia gut punched me and let me drown in the river#what do you mean 'i wanna see my parents when theyre active as athletes maybe id forgive them a little then.'
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Don’t read the papers, make the paper.
#I don’t think I have any semblance of an ordinary life or normalcy to circumstances. And for the longest time I refused to acknowledge it#To preserve some semblance of familiarity. But I think it’s important to acknowledge it now to be better grounded and present in it.#I guess I’m able to distinguish that I’m not accepting of my situation and instead accepting that I am in a situation.#So it’s a different reality and does not diminish the struggle.#WHO TF NEEDS A THERAPIST 🗣️ 🔊🔊🔊🗣️🗣️🔊🗣️ when I got 15 in my head
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good morning. individuals. i hope you are well today. i am experiencing post lancer shock syndrome and my throat is hoarse cuz i think i actually started screaming super frantically and my brain is fried at the implications that come forth after finding out there is someone who looks exactly like sigourney working for the ungratefuls. it's her. it's exactly her. but she's got both her eyes. and it throws yves for such a loop he starts crying in his mech and panics and panics and panics.
#maybe it could be someone else#it could be#but my dm made a funny joke but i dont think its a joke whatsoever#my dead coworker i was trying to forget about for years and succeeded by convincing myself she wasnt real has been cloned and seeing her#has essentially broken the illusion of self and i realize everything i have convinced myself to be the truth in order to cope with my grave#reality is gone#only leaving the pieces i refuse to acknowledge and an increasingly unstable hollow version of myself#in my attempt to escape the past and move on from my horrible mistakes it has caught up with me#ALSO besides that. yves tried to commit war crimes because hes actually a little bitch but the team convinced him not to.
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If you weren't strictly following canon and red string was canon divergence, where would the string most likely change macaque behavior
hm well like my au is canon divergence? but in the smallest way because Macky is forced to acknowledge his issues earlier in the show than before. like yeah it mostly co-exists in canon but in a way where i make their emotionally starved issues a visible manifestation that they cannot ignore
the only reason it stays in its coexist-canon status is bc MK hasn’t changed. he’s not the one being forced to see the strings tied to his hands (which would probably overwhelm him and cause him to overthink that)
anyway,
i think it would be s4 where the actual change occurs because he gave himself time to actually process everything and acknowledge his unhealthy ideology of fate/destiny, viewing his fall as inevitable (guys like him not being the Hero yada yada). thereby, having the courage to initiate himself more into the group bc he knows they’re important to him
#idk like Macky just has sO many issues he doesn’t want any to resolve besides enacting revenge on Wukong/projecting his pain#in s1-2 that the strings would just make it worse and have him refuse to acknowledge it despite the fact that he can’t get rid of them#like the only way i see this au diverge truly from the show is if MK or Mei could see the strings#MK seeing the string attaching him to Macky in 1x09 making him trust Macky implicitly MORE bc of it#then having his reality of the strings shattered thereafter#and even in 2x07 where he tries to escape the spider Queen and sees a ghostly blue string that leads him to a little girl (LBD)#MK is a character who views the world in a very black/white way and hearing Tang’s stories about the strings would just have him#make up the most fixed concept of them when they are more fluid in reality. thus MK having a crisis about it#bc only HE can see them and no one else (unless 👀)#but yeah#idk#i think in this au there isn’t MUCH diversion bc Macky is the only character who can see the strings#so for it to diverge a lot another character besides him needs to also see them#lmk#lmk au#red string au
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Oh right ok since Koromaru's link episode said he wanted to stick with Minato after everything ended I wondered if like, that would been in BBB he'd stick with the Arisatos and not Ken and if so
Who gets the dog in the divorce?*
*Naoto running off to do detective stuff
#berry blast brigade#I guess the real question is: which game would it be funniest for Koromaru to be in#ALTERNATIVELY: koromaru is with Naoto during P4 then stays with Yusuke and Sumi during p5 because of Kasumi's death#koromaru's just ALWAYS PLAYABLE#he does not age because I refuse to acknowledge the reality of his death#like I acknowledge the themes of persona 3 but ALSO#I lost two dogs in the last three years I can't have Koromaru get old and die#I emotionally am a coward
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On one hand it's nice not to be the only one suffering, but on the other hand it's hard not to feel angry about having to watch your loved ones also suffering needlessly without being able to do anything. But then yet again having grown up with a homebound disabled mom definitely played a huge role in being able to recognize that the fault lies not with me re: disability and discrimination, which has helped with dealing with bureaucracy throughout the years.
#sharan talks#my sister and i both inherited shit from dads side though#even if he thinks hes fine. which sure hes much better off than us#but this is also the dude who got a normal shoulder from cold shoulder#due to being hypermobile before LMAO#but he refuses to acknowledge his very obvious neurodivergence too so#but yeah sister and i def inherited the genetic physical stuff from his side#my sister is better off than me especially in the pain department#but still very much not normal nor Good by any decent standards#my mom is def the worst off but hers are unrelated to ours#either way it sucks because i cant help mom to the extent i want because we're both so limited#so it falls to sister or dad who are doing not great either just less worse#and dad especially is noticing his aging now#so does my other dad and hes even older#we're very effective when we all work together especially both dads#but yeah its hard to not worry about the future really#because at some point mom dad and dad wont be here#and i hate to think about that but like#i dread the reality of being able to care for them the way i want to#and navigating the world without them#tbh being disabled both physically and mentally does weird shit to your age#like in some areas i feel way younger than i should#due to the lack of access to true independence#and knowing i'll always ultimately remain under others mercy#and in some ways you feel really old and waiting for orhers to catch up#in figuring out the joys of not working yourself to death#its a weird sense of anachronism but with ones own personhood and it going in two directions#im rambling this has nothung to do with anything#rough days depression hit hard advdaxcsxfs#i had to cancel smth i really looked forward to today and it sucks but as always what can you do
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