#but i refuse to acknowledge that reality
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Redrew the first piece of art I ever posted on tumblr (and its 2014 redraw) and just now realised the original is 10 years old and I am old.
#my art#I am only slightly horrified its been a decade#at least the art is better lol#also yes the original is hetalia fanart and this is therefore technically hetalia fanart in the year of our lord 2023#but i refuse to acknowledge that reality#Its funny my art hasnt reaaaaalllly improved all that much from 2014#at least compared to the progress i made 2011-2014 by drawing everyday#but idk something about my art now feels more.... mature? idk i feel like its very obvious in the earlier ones that i was ut a teen#its weird i dont have the drive to do art now like i did then but then when i do it its like seeing a friend#like i have to put in the effort to have this relationship i didnt have to do when i was young but im happy im keeping it alive#hmm looks like im getting existential uh oh#ah well#heres to 10 more years of (if minimal) growth
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funny how everyone seemed to adore Zack until he started having more screentime...
#it's honestly very surprising. i see hate towards him almost every day since Remake came out and i wish i was kidding#and yeah yeah i know other characters get lots of hate too but the hate towards him has been so sudden and random???#idk maybe he *was* hated before but i just didn't notice#but at the same time no. i'm 100% sure the hate increased considerably after he was shown to be alive in the Remake#i feel like some people are just weirdly concerned he is gonna overshadow the main characters which is stupid#this story is still about Cloud and the others#we're just gonna explore another reality (allegedly) with Zack it's not that deep bro#(rebirth spoilers) -> even in Zack's timeline Cloud AND Aerith are there#and who knows how many more#like i get shippers being petty because when are they not petty#but i've seen non-shippers/casual players saying they do not want to see more of him and being all bitter bc he's important#he's always been important you all just refuse to acknowledge it!!!#no matter how many times hamaguchi nomura nojima etc say he's super important ppl just keep denying it 💀#as if y'all know more than the freaking devs i'm getting tired of this bs#my post#i'm glad the devs love him as much as we do. cry about it
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Do you think what you're experiencing right now is similar to what Kristoph went through after his murder? the paranoia, the delusions, etc.
"...Paranoia? Delusions? What are you talking about?"
#~𝕋𝕨𝕚𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕕 𝕁𝕦𝕤𝕥𝕚𝕔𝕖 ../~ murderpollo au#ace attorney ask blog#ask blog#apollo justice#ace attorney#// brother clueless#// i think he's aware deep down that something is wrong with his reality but he's refusing to acknowledge it
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"Although (Richard III) himself seems to have not been aware of this until it was too late, it was the duke himself who destroyed his brother (Edward IV)'s polity in the name of preserving it."
-Rosemary Horrox, "Richard III: A Study of Service"
#It's one of the things I find most interesting about his reign#But it's rare to find concrete discussions on it because Ricardians simply refuse to acknowledge the actual reality of 1483-85#They live in their fantasy fictional AU instead#richard iii#15th century#english history#my post#queue
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How deranged does the US look to the rest of the world to be proudly welcoming an indicted war criminal to address Congress?
#bernie sanders#Congress is wrong yet again#netanyahu is a war criminal#Netanyahu should not be welcome#arrest netanyahu#jews for palestine#accountability isn't antisemitism#Anti-Zionism isn't anti semitism#stop weaponizing words#apartheid#save palestine#israel is an apartheid state#ethnic cleansing#free palestine 🇵🇸#genocide#icc war crimes tribunal#israeli war crimes#israel lies while palestine dies#I hope most of Congress walks out or doesnt even bother to show up#this isnt the first time#when Obama was in office Netanyahu came and gave a speech to congress but refused to meet with Obama because he dared to acknowledge reality#the us continues to cover and lie for israel#the US is complicit in genocide and war crimes#international criminal court#Netanyahu indicted#shameful#israel is a terrorist state#israel is committing genocide#israel is an illegal occupier#propaganda kills
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the earth is getting hotter and hotter and nobody's doing anything about it but im misanthropic and depressive because i can see nothing that inspires hope 🤙
#sure... we CAN stop it...#but... most ppl are denying climate chrisis.... most ppl in the world are currently voting for rightists#(who are all against making improvements and trying to stop our imminent demise)#in fact.. ppl are voting for rightists and the right are making decisions that only accelerates global warming......#ppl in general dont care nor believe in this chrisis.. outside i often overhear ppl's convos and they say stuff like#'those crazy environmentalist freaks' 💀#and yk those few protestors that do that thing where they lie down on roads and stuff to cause an interruptance in trafic....#they're constantly verbally assaulted but also physically assaulted and run over#by ppl who just fkn HAVE TO GET TO THEIR 9-5!!! or they'll explode bc they loooove working sm#yeah i just dont know... tbh i think soooo many ppl#are like just plain dumb... there is hope if we actually decide to fkn do smth#but just putting your head in the sand and go lalalalal hha peace and love on earth humanity is amazing omg i love ppl 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 wont do sh#now you're just being childish and toxic and fake 🥴#ppl dont even wanna make small changes in their everyday lives for the environment... nobody is ready nor willing to do real things to chan#bc im sorry but skipping around and being a positive little uwu bean is just harmful.. bc theyre not acknowledging reality#and reality is that the earth is getting so fucking hot and it is only getting hotter and there is bno hope in sight#bc ppl are destined to be fucking stupid!!!!#i mean what if ALL of us just simply refused to participate in society?#ppl everywhere all over the world should just go outside and sit down and refuse to contribute to capitalism and the#then* force politicians into taking action#the issue with this? nobody fkn cares! nobody wants to do anything#the earth is being killed. but nobody believes in it bc they just think it's 'conspiratory bullshit' ....#so yeah ofc u can walk around and go nooooo dont hate humanity! we CAN stop it uwu 🥰👍#ummm ok so then why arent anyone doing shit? theyre all still travelling and working and caring abt dumb shit and going to concerts and buy#ng too much and throwing away food and riding their cars everywhere and just fkn doing soooo much damage to the earth in every single littl#thing they do...... they dont care.#plussss dont y'all know that environmental activists are like straight up murdered? bc they're capitalist enemy no 1.#in south america they'll kill CHILDREN who are dedicating their entire lives to fight for the earth...#if u even mention the global warming thing to normal ppl out in the world they'll sigh and shake their heads and tell u to stop being so dr#dramatic*
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wait… luke and zayn collab?? would be cool??
#??!?!?!?? SCREECHES AND THEN HIDES BC I ALSO DONT ACTUALLY MEAN THIS#SOLELY BC I THINK IT WOULD BE PAINFUL AND JUST THE THOUGHT OF MEDIA EVEN THINKING ABOUT PROMO QUESTIONS#HAS ME STRESSED THE FUCK OUT#BUT ALSO THEIR VIBES??? LIKE ON STARDUST???#BUT ALSO I WOULD NOT TOUCH THAT COLLAB IN REALITY WITH A TEN FOOT POLE#BC NOBODY WOULD COME OUT OF THAT UNSCATHED OR LIKE AT LEAST A LITTLE FUCKED UP#I DONT TRUST THE MEDIA WITH THAT#AT ALL#LIKE EVER#TALK ABOUT SOMETHING THAT WOULD DEFINITELY LEAD TO AN AWKWARD AF INTERVIEW#although#be really fucking hilarious for them to collab#and then drop the collab#but never ever mention it#and almost refuse to acknowledge it exists#bc i would avoid that promo sooooo bad#i hate that this was even a thought#REDACTED THOUGHT#alison speaks?#lukey#zayn
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AND ANOTHER THING. saying that the latinos who voted for trump aren’t “real latinos” overlooks the fact that a lot of latinos (ESPECIALLY 2nd gen and immigrants. undocumented or not) are conservative.
this doesn’t make them less latino. being latino does not mean being progressive, or liberal, or socialist or etc. it just means you’re from latinamerica.
denying them their identity doesn’t make them exempt from anything. it just ignores the issues in our community of colorism, classism, queerphobia, and xenophobia. just because you’re latino (just because you’re not white) does not mean you’re not complicit. it doesn’t absolve you of anything.
#emyrs.txt#a bunch of ppl helped me put this into words btw.#been feeling it since 2016 but it all boiled over right this second i guess. lol.#drives me fucking crazy like.#at least acknowledge the issues that the community in the u.s. has!!! u can’t just go. man those guys aren’t even apart of this 🤣 a REAL#latino would never—#YES THEY WOULD!!!! YES THEH FUCKING WOULD!!! THEY DID!!!!! we are not a monolith!!!#refusing to acknowledge it doesn’t help anyone!!!!!!!! it just absolves YOU of guilt!!!!!#sorry everyone expect more of these i am spiraling.#and also like. i’m so fucking disappointed and embarrassed. how badly must you hate yourself. hate your fucking family. your MOTHER.#your SISTERS. how out of touch must you be from reality. to put the economy over everything else.#ignorando el sufrimiento y sacrificio de tu familia!!!!!!#no teniendo nada de compasión por tus hermanes que están pasando por lo mismo o peor!!!!!!!#i thank god daily *** won’t be there at thanksgiving or christmas bc i’m about to start fights only god could pull me out of.
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always always always that stubbornly kept hope that like. not even the hope that his parents would change or understand him, but the hope to understand them and their reasons better. in order to. forgive
#blue lock spoilers#blue lock#hiori#barasbs#n somehow we're back here again#that time in july when all I could think about was this one wip where hiori is trying to mend his relationship w his parents while they#refused to acknowledge anything theyve done to him. that suffocating sense of the struggle to accept reality and forgive and let go n all#n THEN around the same time some hiori artists posted their comics w literally the same themes. unprompted. hiori stan hivemind always#anyways. the new trivia gut punched me and let me drown in the river#what do you mean 'i wanna see my parents when theyre active as athletes maybe id forgive them a little then.'
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Don’t read the papers, make the paper.
#I don’t think I have any semblance of an ordinary life or normalcy to circumstances. And for the longest time I refused to acknowledge it#To preserve some semblance of familiarity. But I think it’s important to acknowledge it now to be better grounded and present in it.#I guess I’m able to distinguish that I’m not accepting of my situation and instead accepting that I am in a situation.#So it’s a different reality and does not diminish the struggle.#WHO TF NEEDS A THERAPIST 🗣️ 🔊🔊🔊🗣️🗣️🔊🗣️ when I got 15 in my head
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good morning. individuals. i hope you are well today. i am experiencing post lancer shock syndrome and my throat is hoarse cuz i think i actually started screaming super frantically and my brain is fried at the implications that come forth after finding out there is someone who looks exactly like sigourney working for the ungratefuls. it's her. it's exactly her. but she's got both her eyes. and it throws yves for such a loop he starts crying in his mech and panics and panics and panics.
#maybe it could be someone else#it could be#but my dm made a funny joke but i dont think its a joke whatsoever#my dead coworker i was trying to forget about for years and succeeded by convincing myself she wasnt real has been cloned and seeing her#has essentially broken the illusion of self and i realize everything i have convinced myself to be the truth in order to cope with my grave#reality is gone#only leaving the pieces i refuse to acknowledge and an increasingly unstable hollow version of myself#in my attempt to escape the past and move on from my horrible mistakes it has caught up with me#ALSO besides that. yves tried to commit war crimes because hes actually a little bitch but the team convinced him not to.
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If you weren't strictly following canon and red string was canon divergence, where would the string most likely change macaque behavior
hm well like my au is canon divergence? but in the smallest way because Macky is forced to acknowledge his issues earlier in the show than before. like yeah it mostly co-exists in canon but in a way where i make their emotionally starved issues a visible manifestation that they cannot ignore
the only reason it stays in its coexist-canon status is bc MK hasn’t changed. he’s not the one being forced to see the strings tied to his hands (which would probably overwhelm him and cause him to overthink that)
anyway,
i think it would be s4 where the actual change occurs because he gave himself time to actually process everything and acknowledge his unhealthy ideology of fate/destiny, viewing his fall as inevitable (guys like him not being the Hero yada yada). thereby, having the courage to initiate himself more into the group bc he knows they’re important to him
#idk like Macky just has sO many issues he doesn’t want any to resolve besides enacting revenge on Wukong/projecting his pain#in s1-2 that the strings would just make it worse and have him refuse to acknowledge it despite the fact that he can’t get rid of them#like the only way i see this au diverge truly from the show is if MK or Mei could see the strings#MK seeing the string attaching him to Macky in 1x09 making him trust Macky implicitly MORE bc of it#then having his reality of the strings shattered thereafter#and even in 2x07 where he tries to escape the spider Queen and sees a ghostly blue string that leads him to a little girl (LBD)#MK is a character who views the world in a very black/white way and hearing Tang’s stories about the strings would just have him#make up the most fixed concept of them when they are more fluid in reality. thus MK having a crisis about it#bc only HE can see them and no one else (unless 👀)#but yeah#idk#i think in this au there isn’t MUCH diversion bc Macky is the only character who can see the strings#so for it to diverge a lot another character besides him needs to also see them#lmk#lmk au#red string au
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Oh right ok since Koromaru's link episode said he wanted to stick with Minato after everything ended I wondered if like, that would been in BBB he'd stick with the Arisatos and not Ken and if so
Who gets the dog in the divorce?*
*Naoto running off to do detective stuff
#berry blast brigade#I guess the real question is: which game would it be funniest for Koromaru to be in#ALTERNATIVELY: koromaru is with Naoto during P4 then stays with Yusuke and Sumi during p5 because of Kasumi's death#koromaru's just ALWAYS PLAYABLE#he does not age because I refuse to acknowledge the reality of his death#like I acknowledge the themes of persona 3 but ALSO#I lost two dogs in the last three years I can't have Koromaru get old and die#I emotionally am a coward
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On one hand it's nice not to be the only one suffering, but on the other hand it's hard not to feel angry about having to watch your loved ones also suffering needlessly without being able to do anything. But then yet again having grown up with a homebound disabled mom definitely played a huge role in being able to recognize that the fault lies not with me re: disability and discrimination, which has helped with dealing with bureaucracy throughout the years.
#sharan talks#my sister and i both inherited shit from dads side though#even if he thinks hes fine. which sure hes much better off than us#but this is also the dude who got a normal shoulder from cold shoulder#due to being hypermobile before LMAO#but he refuses to acknowledge his very obvious neurodivergence too so#but yeah sister and i def inherited the genetic physical stuff from his side#my sister is better off than me especially in the pain department#but still very much not normal nor Good by any decent standards#my mom is def the worst off but hers are unrelated to ours#either way it sucks because i cant help mom to the extent i want because we're both so limited#so it falls to sister or dad who are doing not great either just less worse#and dad especially is noticing his aging now#so does my other dad and hes even older#we're very effective when we all work together especially both dads#but yeah its hard to not worry about the future really#because at some point mom dad and dad wont be here#and i hate to think about that but like#i dread the reality of being able to care for them the way i want to#and navigating the world without them#tbh being disabled both physically and mentally does weird shit to your age#like in some areas i feel way younger than i should#due to the lack of access to true independence#and knowing i'll always ultimately remain under others mercy#and in some ways you feel really old and waiting for orhers to catch up#in figuring out the joys of not working yourself to death#its a weird sense of anachronism but with ones own personhood and it going in two directions#im rambling this has nothung to do with anything#rough days depression hit hard advdaxcsxfs#i had to cancel smth i really looked forward to today and it sucks but as always what can you do
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i took the biggest fattest couch nap today like a middle aged dad. and do i feel like i wasted my whole day? yes. but do i at least feel extremely rested? absolutely not.
#this move has been good in so many ways but also devastating in so many ways#ive become such a shitty friend and i hate myself constantly#i now fully understand adhd masking. mostly because i refuse to do so anymore.#which makes me absolutely wretched to interact with#theres nothing going on in my life so i stay deep in the wrestle hyperfixation because the alternate?#acknowledging reality? processing emotions? changing my life for the better?#those things are good but unfortunately cause me to have full complete mental breakdowns or shutdowns#ive never felt so confronted by my mental illnesses before and its horrible#not that i can do anything bc i live in the us and have no health insurance and cant afford therapy#i hate therapy anyway. or at least my 3 prior experiences.#im fucking broken but why cant i just exist broken
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I'm to the point where if I hear you're endorsing/voting for Kamala Harris and you're publicly getting mad at people for not voting for her, I'm not even going to listen what you have to say, you've made it clear you have to strong principles to guide your decisions beyond "what's worse for me personally?" I think Harris voters have no actual ideologies to live by, despite claiming they do, and I fundamentally don't respect them for it. It's one thing to be angry at people who won't vote for Harris, but it's another thing to pretend you're doing it because you have some sort of moral authority and not basing it off pure selfishness. You think that solidarity is posting about things and that's it. You refuse to make yourself uncomfortable, even momentarily. And you get mad at people who are willing to go through discomfort for the sake of others. You call them names, ans claim that THEY are the selfish ones in this scenario. You've given up on making a change in the world for the better, or maybe you were never interested in it. All of your arguments pale in comparison to reality, because Harris is actively funding a genocide. She has even refused to acknowledge a reality in which she does not fund that genocide. Has made such a thing clearer and clearer. All my problems here in the imperial core are secondary to that. I'm about to go through multiple personal issues that are made increasingly hard by political factors and I still think that's nothing in comparison to what Palestinians and Lebanese are going through overseas. You've placed yourselves as the ultimate victims in the world and to me it's laughable and completely out of touch with just how fucked everyone else is because of the imperial beast that is Amerikkka. And speak nothing of the way the victims of Amerikkkan imperialism on Turtle Island bear the brunt of societies' woes for your personal comfort and refusal to make any meaningful change. Not ev baby steps! You think trump is an accidental anomaly and not a product of a larger issue within white amerikkkan politics. Is it not shocking to you that so many people here are voting for trump so enthusiastically?
Seeing things like the weaponization of personal identity, like "Muslims for Harris," used so plainly is an insult to the ideas of internationalism that you all claim to follow. What use is solidarity with the victims of imperialism if you refuse to acknowledge the entirety of the imperial complex? That includes the democrats you hold so dear as well as the Republicans? What use is any of this if you only think for yourself?
You claim to be thinking of others, and that's why you vote for Harris... but what is so incomprehensible to me is the comfort in which you accept the inevitability of Palestinian deaths. Why are you so willing to accept that reality? Why are you comfortable with that reality? It shocks me and disgusts me in a way that I can not really describe. You lot argue and argue and argue, but in the end, the difference between you and me is that I refuse to engage in a reality where Palestinians must die in any case. You have yet to refuse that. In actuality, you all refuse the baby steps, the bare minimum, of refusal to engage in continuation of that reality. And because of that, I do not take you seriously, nor do I view you as being moral in your decision to sacrifice Palestinians.
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