#but i really want to get a larger view on the debate. see it from both sides.

[existencebringsonlypain]

Please reblog, whether you're in the majority or the minority. I'm interested in the data here and in order to get that we need a large sample size.

[maxwell-grant]

The Penguin Episode 4: Cent'anni Breakdown

She goes through all these different levels of all these different personas: excellent daughter, overachiever, and this horrific feral state in Arkham. And it's not until the yellow dress that she finds the one that fits.

Kind of like sharks can't stop moving or they sink. It's that relentless pursuit of justice.

This changes her forever. She never comes back. Something so much bigger than her takes over in order to survive - Cristin Milioti

This was pointed out to me by my friend and, show of hands everyone, who else thinks it's unbelievably fucking sick that it is Sofia who gets to show up at the Falcone dinner table, wearing a thematically appropriate embodiment of her childhood trauma, and do a "None of you are safe" speech?

(Episode 1) (Episode 2) (Episode 3)

It probably felt odd to spend time with Sofia when we’re in a show called The Penguin. But I think it’s just as important so you can understand Oz psychologically. Even though I don’t view Oz as a hero or a villain, he is a greater villain in the show than anyone else. And for you to feel that way, I think you have to understand his primary antagonist more. And that’s Sofia.” - Lauren LeFranc

I gotta say I'm generally not enthusiastic about Penguin being depicted as overtly disgusting, like drooling and eating raw fish and all that Burton stuff (actually I do think the black bile is cool, but only so far as as that version goes), but for that opening scene, that was a spectacularly well-placed bit of grossness. Like this sheer craven animalistic ugliness of DeVito's Penguin descending for a second to show us how Sofia sees Oz, and even how right she is to do so at the moment because holy shit hahahahahaha

From what we can see of Sofia's pre-Arkham life, she was basically the Meadow Soprano of the family: The smart, overachieving golden child, whose social standing and eligitibility for leadership wouldn't even be up for debate if she was born a man like her loser brother (love AJ, relate uncomfortably to AJ, he's not at all morally comparable to Alberto, but he is very much a loser). Socially conscious and sticking up for victims but only if you don't poke too closely at her victim-generating family business, aware of some things but willfully blind to her own hypocrisy and insistent that daddy is still in average a good man who isn't as bad as people around her may say he is. I'd even say that the Sofia we see here is a more moral person than Meadow, although obviously being the daughter of Carmine Falcone is a much scarier, more isolating and horrific prospect than growing up the daughter of Tony Soprano (the ways in which the two Sopranos kids diverged and majorly prefigured American socio-political developments that kicked off after the show is a topic for another post).

(Also, I don't really want to bring up Sopranos comparisons because the shows are similar, they're really not, but I finished The Sopranos yesterday so they're gonna come up still)

I think Mark Strong does a really good job here filling in for John Turturro's role, even if he's not quite as good in it as Turturro. I think he plays the character differently in a way that works really well for this being a past version of Carmine, filtered through Sofia's vision. He is imposing and quiet and mighty, a lone titan of unquestionable power over the entire world, not even remotely someone to be defied or displeased. Turturro's Falcone was charismatic and affable and oozing with unspeakable yet casual cruelty, and I would have liked that here, but I like the idea that we're seeing a Carmine from before he was invincible, when he still needed Sofia to help him get Congressman Hill on the phone and still worried about the future of the family at Alberto's hands, a Carmine from when the Maronis were still around and he wasn't the sole ruling power in Gotham, who could still possibly lose even without vigilante intervention.

He is larger, more imposing, a stern and stoic father who had little use for pleasantries, and with no mirth to be had at the expense of the little people who think they can do anything against him that matters, even if he is getting there. I think the difference here adds a nice little arc to Carmine: there was a time where he needed to keep up appearences, there was a time where he raised his voice above a whisper to get things done, and there was a time where he wasn't the real mayor of Gotham. There was a time where he was a "proper" Don, when he acted like his comics counterpart, and none of that really became necessary over the following decade, when he grew more and more invincible and isolated and comfortable in this nightmare he made the city into.

They also confirm here that apparently the Iceberg Lounge/44 Below existed way back when Oz was just Sofia's driver, and it was already Carmine's prostitute slaughterhouse even then and Alberto knew about it. Possibly explains why Oz was handed the club in the first place, because the Falcones already called him Sofia's penguin and putting The Penguin in charge of the Iceberg Lounge would fit their idea of a laugh (and given how much Oz hates being called Penguin, he would hardly come up with the name himself)

Lmao, those dog comparisons I keep making really don't stop justifying themselves.

Credit again to Mike Marino and the prosthetics team for this younger Oz make-up, he strikes a very nice middleground between current Oz and the one we see as a kid.

Really like what we see of Sofia and Oz's dynamic here, again reinforcing that for all intents and purposes he was the sidekick in her HBO protagonist life. We see how Sofia likes his company and how she even kinda defends him from the family, but she really cannot bring herself to respect him very much and disdains him from the same very upper-class perspective the rest of the family does, she's just nicer about it. And in turn we see parts of where Oz's resentment to her comes from, and also the extent to which Oz was always lying in wait for an opportunity to get ahead regardless of her, his justified grievances as well as him being a conniving fuck. The really thin line this treads though, is that it establishes that neither of them were lying about how they meant something to each other, even if it doesn't help.

Sofia did have her life ruined partially because of Oz, she did endure horrific things while he got a promotion because he ratted her out to Carmine, and he very much did in part because he wanted to get ahead and saw an opportunity to do so. But also, Oz genuinely had no idea that this is what Carmine would do, and I think in large part this was also about keeping himself safe. It's not even that unbelievable that he was genuinely looking out for her, because holy shit you do not talk to the press about Carmine Falcone, daughter or not, and he tried warning her in the car before she rebuffed him and insulted him pretty deep for good measure. If Sofia talked to the press and would not stop talking (since he didn't know in the car that she rebuffed Gleeson) and shit started happening because of her snooping around, he would have absolutely gotten punished/murdered for it, it is not at all a stretch to assume that Carmine would have done something to Oz as punishment to Sofia.

Oz didn't plan any kind of misfortune, at no point did he mastermind her admission into Arkham (or even help keep her there with the letters, like the rest of the family), he just told Carmine something he shouldn't have, and neither of them expected anything too terrible was gonna come out of it. They both wildly underestimated what a complete scumbag Carmine is, but with Carmine (and the others) gone, there's nobody else to turn those grievances to.

Even if Oz could claim deniability for the Arkham thing, which he kinda can't but Sofia even tried to grant him anyway, he sure as shit can't for everything else he does in the opening minutes.

Oh hey it's Mr Mustache With The Broken Nose.

A thing that came to mind when I was watching the episode was the story of Rosemary Kennedy, JFK's sister whose father arranged for her to be institutionalized and lobotomized at age 23 as a reponse to "difficult" behavior. I'm not recounting it in more detail here because the rest of it is just too horrific, look it up yourself if you're curious. I remembered it because reading about Rosemary Kennedy ruined my fucking day and it still pumps up the breaks in my train of thought every now and then, so it came to mind watching this story about a young woman horrifically institutionalized and butchered for the sake of her wealthy family's image. Later I heard the podcast, and turns out that actually was exactly what Lauren LeFranc based Sofia's story on, which was nice. I'm glad it also fucks Lauren LeFranc up and that we both agree she should have gotten to wreak revenge on the entire family over it, thank you Penguin Show that continues to be made for me, this was nice.

Oh hey, Magpie. Just the name, yeah, but that was another nice surprise. I used to have a bit of a soft spot for Magpie, occasionally I thought there was something to get out of her and Penguin together, so a part of me likes that they put Magpie in The Penguin show even if just in name. Yes, she only exists to be annoying and die, but that's what she already tends to do anyway. And y'know, much as I may like her, she is still a John Byrne character, so she doesn't really deserve much more than that

Jesus Christ this episode gets uncomfortable.

I like that this establishes that Julian Rush kinda did make an effort to help her and kinda felt bad about it, but not nearly enough, and that he is very much a complicit contemptible creep who has it coming as much as any of the people who put Sofia in there.

Cannot state enough how much I appreciate that they didn't put any actual named Batman villains in the Arkham Asylum episode, guarantee a lot of creators would not resist the temptation. I mean okay I guess there is a Ventris already in Batman but, come on, you know who I mean. This did not need any references to like, Jeremiah Arkham or Jonathan Crane or Hugo Strange or any of that, and that's not a diss on any of those guys, it's just that unlike pretty much every other Batman story, this episode does not undercut it's point about the horrific institutional horrors dehumanizing and destroying Sofia by pinning it on a chief boogeyman supervillain that Batman is going to fight later. Dr. Ventris is not responsible for the systemic rot that got her there nor is he the sole orchestrator/perpetrator of the abuse it's inmates suffer, he simply answers to those, and thus perpetuates them, by doing his job in a mental institution.

I am still haunted by the inmate committing suicide with a fork. It is so fucked up that Sofia was tortured and goaded by the doctors into murdering another inmate, and when that failed, they tortured her again and again and again until she snapped. The whole point was to push Sofia beyond the breaking point to justify further incarceration. The doctors just standing there letting her kill Magpie.

I want Dr.Rush to die.

I have more thoughts on Arkham, but I'd call this the most horrific take on Arkham so far, because it is the most honest take on Arkham so far. Even at it's most run-down and monstrous, it is usually never at all into question that Arkham Asylum is necessary, because if it wasn't there, all the crazies would run rampant in Gotham. Over the years, it's monstrousness has always been tied directly and specifically to it's inmates, and whenever people have pointed out the shoddy conditions and inhospitable environment of Arkham as a factor for repeat offenders, it's pretty much always as a fandom joke outside of Batman stories proper, and if there is anything wrong with the way the Asylum works, it is always the fault of particularly evil villains attached. A Lock-Up, a Jeremiah Arkham, a Hugo Strange, etc. Arkham Asylum is in general a Batman concept that's raised a lot of discussions and calls for revision over the years, and a lot of the issues with it tie into larger issues around superhero depictions of the carceral system, that @artbyblastweave went into here.

Here, in large part because this is a realistic world and a Gotham without a rampaging supervillain contingent of repeat offenders who can magically break out constantly, it is never into question that the patients are the victims of this system, and if they are being turned into potential supervillains, it is because of Arkham inflicting this on them. This is an Arkham Asylum that remains a nightmarish, horrific force in this world, but not because it's Castle Dracula where all the crazy villains hang out, not even just because the rest of Gotham is hopelessly rotten and corrupt, but because it's a mental institution and depicted accordingly. It gets to dig into the real life horrors mental institutions inflict on it's patients without having to justify those measures as benign or necessary to keep crazy crimes from happening. Frankly, this take on Arkham Asylum has been long overdue.

In every form of Batman media, just about the worst thing that can happen at any given moment is Arkham Asylum falling and it's inmates escaping into the streets, that's generally what happens when Batman needs to deal with apocalyptic stakes (which is why of course it happens all the fucking time now). Here, that scenario would be regarded with cheer, because the worst thing that can happen in this universe is being sent to Arkham Asylum. It isn't just Batman's unofficial personal prison / punching gallery, if anything it massively raises the stakes on this Batman's next adventures, because now we know this is what's waiting for him if he gets caught and unmasked.

I like that Sofia and Oz are both trying to save/protect those they see as younger versions of themselves, while inflicting on them the kinds of tragedies that ultimately created them

Oz reached out to this poor disabled kid from the streets and is showing him the ropes, while also belittling him as a nobody and distorting his worldview and dragging him into life or death cornered scrapdog situations chipping away at his morals. Sofia saves her little niece who laughs at bad table manners and doesn't quite do what her family says, gently lulling her to sleep so she can kill her mom and her entire family.

Extremely important that Sofia Falcone makes her formal arrival as a villain by showing up dressed in a sexy yet fitting extension of her trauma / cultural reference (The Yellow Wallpaper / the walls in her mother's bedroom), before putting on a mask and enacting Gotham's first Mass Casualty Gas Attack, we love to see it.

I was frankly already calling Sofia one of my favorite Bat-villains even before this episode, I'm just glad everyone seems to be on the same page with me now. I'm seeing a lot of posts on Twitter and Instagram talking about how they're rooting for Sofia instead of Oz, that she deserves to win this war, and good, fucking amazing that they're doing this, again, this show is hitting home runs I could not have foreseen.

It is incredible what a character they've made out of Sofia, and the fact that we now see Oz as her antagonist as much as we see Sofia as his, and the fact that if Penguin wins, he will win this as a villain. He will steal a victory he does not deserve and rub it in your face and he will make the children of the world cry for it as any villain worth his name should be doing, and it frankly wouldn't be much of a fight if Sofia wasn't every bit the complicated, engaging protagonist he is. Lauren LeFranc claimed that she sees Sofia is the closest the show has to a hero even if she is not, and this is the episode that sold everyone on it.

Halfway through the show and it's only gotten better and better, can't wait for what's coming next.

[daycourtofficial]

Falling in Love on the Fourth Floor - Part 9

Summary: Out of an act of desperation, you move in with a guy you kind of know who happens to have a really hot brother who lives next door.

Author’s note: anyone else excited for me to actually update?? This part’s a bit short, sorry! Gotta set some things up tbh. I’m so so so excited for part 10. Cassian has big annoying little brother energy in this. Honestly Az does not make an in person appearance in this part, but just you wait 😉

(Masterlist)

The warm water of the shower felt incredible, your mind unwinding as the water falls down your body. Thoughts of last night swirl through your mind, remembering how Azriel’s skin felt on yours.

You start going over the previous night again, from the way his eyes wandered over your body to the grip he had on you on the way home.

You were fucked.

You were pouring shampoo into your hand, trying to decide the odds that this was all a joke to Azriel, when the door to your bedroom opened.

You usually leave the door unlocked because Cassian has to reset the router pretty regularly, but you don’t think much of it until he is swinging open the door to your bathroom, letting in a cool breeze. You stick your head out of the curtain, hiding the rest of your body.

“Cassian,” you hiss, “what are you doing?”

“I don’t like eating alone,” he tells you, shrugging as he peels an orange.

“Cassian.”

“What?” He asks, words garbled from speaking through his orange slice.

“I’m in the shower.”

“So?”

You roll your eyes, pulling a hand out to emphasize your point. “I’m naked. In the shower.”

“There’s a curtain for a reason,” his tone sounding bored of this argument.

“You got a text from Az,” he says, annoyed as he looks at your screen that he can’t view the message. You drop your conditioner at his words, the clang of it echoing in the small room as you bend down to pick it back up.

“Just leave it, I’ll check it in a minute.”

"I hope it's a poem about how beautiful you are."

You roll your eyes, despite Cassian not being able to see you.

"I bet it says how annoying you are."

Cassian's gasp fills the room, "I am not annoying."

You poke your head out of shower, "we have weekly meetings to discuss how annoying you are."

In an act of complete maturity, you follow your statement by sticking your tongue out at him. Cassian holds your phone up to your face, letting it unlock the screen for him.

He sticks his tongue back out at you, "Thanks!"

He starts scuttling out of the room, yelling behind him, "if I'm lucky, you've sent Azzy some classy nudes!"

You start sputtering, yanking the shower curtain away, grabbing your towel, and quickly wrapping it around yourself as you follow after Cassian, not even turning the shower off.

"Aww, in this text he called you cute."

"Cassian."

He starts typing a response, his fingers flying over your phone. You hear the woosh of a sent message, and you stare at him, mouth open.

"What did you send him?"

He waggles his eyebrows, then hands you back your phone.

"You'll never know."

You look down at the phone in your hands, and sure enough, Cassian had sent him a text and promptly deleted it. The sick bastard.

"Cassian."

Your roommate simply shrugs at the tenseness of your tone, "I told him how you love him and how you want his precious babies."

You grit your teeth as Cassian makes kissing noises at you, debating the legal and moral ramifications of murdering Cassian when your phone chimes in your hands.

Azriel: thanks, I like your hair too :)

You look up at Cassian, a shit-eating grin on his face.

"You told him I liked his hair?"

"Yep," he says, biting into an apple, its crunch aggrevating some deep part of your brain.

“You’re the worst,” you say, opening your door and shutting it quickly behind you.

Later that night, Rhys decides to stop by to see Cassian, wanting to watch a rugby match on Cassian’s tv. Much to Rhys’s horror, Cass does have the larger tv.

Rhys starts to come in through the door to the apartment, but he can’t get the door opened more than a few inches because of a weight blocking him.

“What are you doing?” You ask, head peaking in the six inch crack of the door.

He looks confused, then looks around. “Trying to come in to watch rugby with Cass.”

“No you’re not.”

He tries to push against the door, but you keep it firmly in place. “I’m certainly trying to.”

“You’re not coming in - it’s girl’s night.”

He looks inside, confusion on his face as he huffs, “I see Cassian over there.”

“We voted to let him stay.”

Rhys looks offended. “And why not me?”

You lower your voice, leaning in closer to him, “because Feyre doesn’t invite boys she wants to talk about.”

His smirk grows predatory, as he surveys Feyre, Mor, and Cassian inside the apartment. “And why wasn’t Az invited?”

Your face flushes with heat, “we didn’t think it was his scene.”

Rhys snorts, leaning against the door frame. Knowing Rhys, he’d stay there until he got what he wanted to hear. “Az loves gossip more than anyone. Tell me why he isn’t invited and I’ll leave you be.”

You two glare each other down, a sight which must have looked quite amusing to anyone who didn’t note the seriousness of both of your faces.

You mumble out, “we don’t invite boys we want to talk about.”

He puts a hand around his ear, “I’m so sorry, dear, what was that?”

You grit you teeth, looking upward in hopes a god or a titan or someone would smite Rhysand and his stupid smug grin on the spot.

You let out a long breath, trying to let all the anger out so you can say distinctly, “we do not invite the boys we want to talk about.”

His eyes dance with amusement, his weight dropping from the door almost causing you to fall. “Well why didn’t you just say so? Maybe we’ll have a boys night - talk about you divine feminine creatures.”

He starts strolling back down the hall, “tell Cassian he’s welcome to join us.”

You close the door on him, dead-bolting the door so he can’t come in, turning back to reclaim your spot next to Feyre on one of the couches, Mor and Cassian next to each other on the other one.

“Now, I know we all gathered here to spend time together, but I showed up because I wanted someone to tell me what the hell is going on between you and Azriel.”

Mor stabs her teriyaki chicken with her fork, pointing it at you. You choke, trying not to laugh as the chicken falls off the fork back into the takeout container.

Cassian interrupts, his mouth full of rice as he says, “yeah what’s going on between you two?”

Your cheeks heat, all the attention in the room on you as you say, “nothing’s going on, Mor,” and grab a mouthful of sesame chicken with your chopsticks to prevent them from probing further.

It does not work. Instead, Feyre chimes in, “you guys were awfully close last night at karaoke.”

Mor points at Feyre with her fork, “she sat on his lap to and from Rita’s.”

Feyre gasps, sitting up, “you sat on his lap?” Then she looks at you with a mischievous glint, “could you feel him?”

She waggles her eyebrows as you throw an eggroll at her, earning you a soft hey in response.

“Feyre, watch your language around Cassian’s virginal ears.”

Mor spits out her drink, “there’s nothing virginal about what we do at night.”

She high fives Cassian, who is suspiciously quiet during this whole exchange.

“Hey,” you say to him, getting him to look up from his rice at you, “why’d you say it was good that my date was bad?”

“When’d I say that?” Cassian asks, tucking his phone under his thigh.

You roll your eyes, “literally yesterday when Az and I dropped off lunch for you.”

Mor whistles, “Az took you for a ride.”

Feyre’s eyes light up and you roll your eyes at her sing-song voice, still looking to your roommate. Cassian starts fidgeting, unsure what to do with his hands, “uh nothing he just was- kinda ugly.”

Your brows press down in a hard line, “okay, Cassian, he might not have been your cup of tea but he certainly wasn’t ugly.”

“But he wasn’t pretty like Azriel,” Mor chimes in, a smirk on her lips.

You throw your hands up, “whoa whoa whoa, I invited you guys over for chinese food and silly romcoms, why am I being ambushed about Azriel?”

“Because he likes you,” Feyre says, pouring herself a glass of rosé. You look to Feyre, trying to silently tell her you don’t want to have this conversation here with Cassian, but she keeps her eyes on her lo mein, a noodle slipping from her chopsticks.

“Az sure did enjoy you in the Barbie costume last night, babe.” Mor had an absolutely feral look to her as she starts, “I bet he had a fun night thinking about it with his hand wrapped around his- hey!”

You threw a pillow in her direction, trying desperately to get her to shut up.

“Hey, even Cassian thinks you guys would be cute, and he isn’t the most observant.”

Cassian picks the pillow up, hitting Mor with it again. “Thanks, Mor.”

“You’re welcome, baby.”

You turn to Feyre and the two of you make kissing noises at each other, then direct them at Mor and Cassian.

“Hey, we’re mature adults who just fool around. And do you know why we work so well?”

You put your head on your hand, looking up to Mor, “oh wise and beautiful Mor, please tell me why you and my roommate are so good at having sex with each other.”

Feyre snorts, but Mor responds, “because we talk to each other. We’re adults.”

“It’s different,” you say, going back to your chicken.

“How is it any different?”

“There aren’t any stakes for you two,” you say, and Feyre nods eagerly. “There aren’t any emotions - you two just have sex and you know that’s what you both want.”

Feyre nods enthusiastically, and you narrow your eyes at her, “and why aren’t we grilling you about the other boy? Hmmmm?”

Her cheeks blush, as her mouth opens and closes, trying to form words.

“Because she didn’t spend all of karaoke night whispering to him. Especially not during my performance.” Cassian ends his words with a huff, taking a swig of his beer.

“You mean our performance?” Mor ask, “we made it what it was.”

Cassian rolls his eyes, but lets it go, pulling his phone back out. “I’m going to order more Chinese - anyone want anything?”

Everyone’s responses echo, but you make out both Feyre and Mor asking for more crab rangoons.

Cassian lets out a soft, “it’ll be here in 30 minutes, let’s start this chick flick.”

Mor smacks him on the chest, “Pride and Prejudice is not a chick flick! It is cinema!”

As Mor and Feyre try to convince Cassian that he will love Kiera Knightley, your thoughts linger to the other side of the wall you shared. You wondered what they were up to tonight, what Azriel was doing, if Cassian and Rhys give him a hard time about you.

Of all the thoughts you had of them, the thought hadn’t occurred to you that Cassian would be texting Rhys updates throughout the night.

[notafragilething]

Mini-Late Night Buck & Tommy Rambles: Chill Guys

Yesterday was crazy so I'm pretty happy today was mostly calm so this will be a quick update.

I didn't expect another update on the Instagram Hospital Kiss Reel video this soon but it's really jumping in numbers and is already up to 1051k (so closing in on 1.1 million) with almost 92k in likes. I'm really not sure what has caused this surge in views and new likes but I'm taking it as a good sign.

The "drama" around Lou's cameo. I actually debate on whether or not to post about this because honestly, it's such a non-issue in the greater scale of things. But to try and hopefully give some perspective and get people to chill about the girl who posted the edited, out of context clip and tagged the other actors? Here are two points I want to make.

That video and account is truly not relevant. They have a total of like 240ish followers and that story, as of a few minutes ago, only had like 400 views. Stop giving them attention by reposting with their username and ignore it.

People bring up Kenneth viewing and liking it. Maybe it was on purpose and he agreed her with her point. Maybe it was accidental or he misunderstood (and simply liked a video of Lou talking about his character). We don't know and it's not that deep, truthfully. Considering we know that Lou and Kenneth are friends, I don't think it will have any impact at all.

So final thoughts on this? I think there are a lot of young buddie shippers who are very naive and attempt to police language without looking at the larger message or meaning behind the words. I think there are also some shippers who are attempting to weaponize this and want people to give him the same treatment that Edy gets. I don't see it happening because almost no one, outside of them, have an issue with what he said. It definitely isn't going to impact anything about the show itself or his relationships with his castmates so I'm simply going to move on from this.

My asks are always open so please send me any messages or things you would like me to talk about on these more slow days.

[thefirstknife]

Hi Bel,

I have a question related to the lore surrounding the Vex and the way they interact with time. There seems to be debate over if they can time travel vs their advanced simulation technology just makes it seem like they can time travel etc. Would you be able to explain definitely what their capabilities are regarding affecting time? Can they change the past?

They can time travel... sort of. If we're understanding it correctly. But also the way we view time travel and the way the Vex view time travel might not be entirely aligned.

They have to be able to move through time because that's the only way we can actually see Precursors and Descendants; past Vex and future Vex respectively. For example, now in Echoes, a lot of the Vex we fight are Precursors; really odd overall because they appear to be rare. There's some in the Vault of Glass and the Black Garden, but they were mostly located on Mercury. They're old Vex, from the past.

So how can they be here unless the Vex move through time? The same question applies to Descendants, Vex from the future. However, this raises a further question: if they can time travel, why didn't they already achieve their goals? This:

"If the Vex had achieved what we would call 'time travel,' surely none of us would now exist." —Sister Faora, "Theories on the Vex"

A good explanation of this problem is this lore tab from Aspect:

The Vex, they're the closest to understanding it. They've got distance from it. If time's a river, then we're fish and they're diving birds. What's wet mean to a fish? What's it mean to an osprey, who's never fooled by refraction on the water's surface?

+

The Vex understand time in a way we never will. Doesn't matter how long I spend here watching them. Doesn't matter how many jury-rigged portals Guardians fling themselves through. We live in time. They use it as a tool. Any moment that's ever happened, any moment that will ever happen, they can go back to it. Play it again till they get it right. Simulate it.

So why can't they change things fundamentally? Seems to be good old paracausality:

The Light's a counter to that. They come back, a Guardian comes back. They simulate an ending, a Guardian tears through it. Stalemate.

Some of their powers also appear to be just them using time as a tool; teleporting is described as essentially time travelling:

The Minotaur revises its place in history, appearing to teleport forward as it shifts to a more advantageous future.

Simulation allows them to explore possibilities and options at a larger scale, but I believe it's separate from the actual ability to move through time. They can do both, for different purposes, both of which are not entirely clear to us. Paracausality is yet again a problem for them, even for simulation.

There's some technology that was capable of actually making changes, most notably the Sundial. This wasn't made by the Vex, but it was using Vex technology and the whole deal with it was that the Psions were capable of rewriting history with it. The Sundial also allowed us to go into the past, into Saint's personal timeline, and save him, by changing it (and creating a paradox with it).

Another question is the Corridors of Time which the Vex were using to move through time, but it's unclear if they've created that space or not. And one more question are timelines and how does that affect the Vex and their unique relationship with time and other realities. We could also go into the Vault of Glass and Black Garden and other Vex spaces and all of their weirdness with time. There's something going on with it, on top of simulation technology.

In truth, we're not really sure about a lot of stuff with the Vex simply because they have this strange relationship to time that we can't really grasp. Even those that explored the Vex closely like Osiris and Elsie can't really answer some of these questions.

It's a very interesting discussion, so if anyone wants to add to it feel free! Time travel shenanigans are still mostly mysterious and so are the Vex.

[emoevanafton]

Is gremlin Prescott misunderstood? The great debate!

My debrief…

Gremlin Prescott, just like many villains with complex backstories and lore from media, is a character who is horribly misunderstood, mainly due to how he is presented, outwardly.

For the sake of characters like this, i bid you to turn your views- Inwardly. It makes it much easier to understand a quote unquote ‘evil’ character, if you simply take into account how they are presented in this way.

Intro!

If you’ve ever played epic Mickey, or any games from the franchise for that matter, you would probably know who Gremlin Prescott is- an outwardly jealous, and egotistical character who, to an extent, is portrayed to be ‘evil’. You’re probably thinking “Well, why wouldn’t he be evil, he is one of the main villains you fight in the game!”

Just because a character is a villain, does not mean that they are a ‘bad person’.

Prescott is actually a perfect portrayal of this.

Funny enough, there is not actually a SINGLE action that he does in the game, which would make him a bad person! Even the fact that he attempts to murder the protagonists (mickey, oswald and gus) in my opinion would not be enough to deem him evil- he is simply doing what has been asked of him, in a fit of jealousy, rage and betrayal. And lets not ignore the fact that his relationships with these characters are not exactly good ones…

And of course Prescott would do what was asked of him, gremlins are naturally proven to want to serve the needs of others, in his case, he serves the Mad Doctor; half against his will.

Lets discuss this!

relationship with MD

Prescott’s relationship with the Mad Doctor is actually reminiscent of a father/son relationship- one in which he never got to experience. This is clear from the way Gus (his father) treats and undermines him.. gremlin Prescott is arguably one of THE SMARTEST gremlins within the franchise… but this is a whole different topic in itself. To cut a long story short, the Mad doctor takes advantage of Prescott and uses him for his intelligence, and betrays him immediately after…

The mad doctor, being the ‘evil and unforgiving’ villain that he is, takes advantage of Prescott’s vulnerability, after seeing how much he despised his mediocre job working at the gag factory. (Believe me when i say, he HATES working there.) Which eventually lead him to becoming one of the main villains. The fact that his Brother (Jam-face) was working on the one thing that HE was good at, really pissed him off, therefore he would be understandably upset

Now, Would it surprise anyone to know that the reason Prescott made the machine you fight in the second stage of EM2, was because of the Mad Doctors influence? Because the Mad doctor gave Prescott the attention he so desperately desired (and deserved), he did all this in an attempt to appease him.

And as we know, the only reason the mad doctor decided to take Prescott in, as it were, was to manipulate him into doing his bidding, creating a distraction from the larger problems in wasteland, caused by himself, and leading the public to believe that it was all Prescott’s fault. How unfair!

If that wasn’t unfair enough, think of the cutscene shown just after we defeat Prescott, where he gets sent to prison- there is a-lot of important dialogue here.

“I don’t understand, he told me no one could defeat me!” -GP

“He told you? Who are you talking about?” -G

*and then GP points DIRECTLY at MD as he comes out the projector*

(And yes, i do know the entire cutscene plus the song off the top of my head, it is a talent, i know~)

The ‘He’ in question, is actually the mad doctor, and as I’ve just said, the reason we know this is because Prescott points over at the Mad Doctor as he is retelling this information… And he was smart for this, however it appears to be to no avail- as Gus completely ignores him during this…the only reason he actually got hypnotised during this interrogation, was because the Mad Doctor KNEW that the first thing Prescott would do, upon being betrayed, would be to protest, and understandably so! How would you feel if the one person you trusted, who you considered your closest friend, betrayed you on the spot like that? Im sure this is something in which we all have a mutual agreement on, it makes you feel anything BUT happy..

So yes, Prescott is miss understood for this, as he was taken advantage of, and falsely lead into a state of evil- and as we know, Prescott can, and will absolutely murder and take vengeance upon anyone who attempts to upset him.

(I mean, all you have to do is look at the event that happened with the telephone in EM1- he dismantles the telephone because she Locked him in a safe and took his wrench… valid reason to murder? Thats up for debate…)

And To absolutely no one’s surprise, Gremlin Prescott is shown in BOTH GAMES to be a naturally vengeful character, which i might tel you, is not normal for his ‘kind-natured and down to earth species.’

And I’ve done enough epic Mickey two speed runs completed in record time to know that none of this was ever in Prescott’s control, its just how he IS.

So how can a character who’s personality and attitude is out of their control, not be perceived as misunderstood? Exactly. They can’t.

relationship with Gus + Jamface

If you observe how Gus is With Prescott (who, yes, is his son), you would probably notice how much he apparently cares for him- however, if you do some research and inference into the two character’s interactions, it is evident that Gus far from a good parent.

Would i go as far as to say he is partially emotionally neglective? Absolutely.

Jamface is put on a metaphoric pedestal by Gus (who yes, is also his dad… Jamface and Prescott are brothers, shock, horror..) all because of Jamfaces ‘excellent projector skills!’

Wanna know whos BETTER at working on projectors? Gremlin prescott.

And its not as if Gus doesn’t know this, either, during the investigation into who sabotaged the projectors, Gus outright states that prescott would never destroy the projectors.

“But Prescott LOVES working on the projectors, hed never destroy them on purpose’”

Would he though?

If it was fuled on jealousy, yes, he would.

Prescott and jam face are shown to have a conflicting relationship right from the start. (Sorry Prescott x jam face shippers, but that would never work out :) )

And Prescott is shown to be overly jealous of jam-faces position. He is dubbed the ‘best mechanic in wasteland’ despite this not actually being true…

Could jam face single handedly build multiple intricate interactive dioramas depicting historical events in lore, and build a literal war machine for the sake of someone else?

I think the answer we are looking for here is No.

So why would Gus give jam face a job and title that he doesn’t exactly live up to, and give Prescott the boring job of working in the gag factory… its basically like forcing the worlds smartest mathematician to work a 9/5 office job for the rest of their lives, and giving the person with no experience of working a complex job, a job as a doctor…

Prescott even says to Gus that he does not listen to him, in his plans to upgrade the projectors… so we can infer from this that gus doesnt really give a shit about what he has to say. And whats even worse is that Gus rarely believes in prescotts ability to do well… as we see in the first part of EM2, where states “i knew i shouldn’tve let Prescott make that amplifier” the fact that HE KNEW gives us the impression that he had thought on it before hand, which leads us only to believe that Gus doesn’t think to greatly of his OWN SON’S ideas and abilities, which in turn is a negative attitude to have towards a person, regardless.

Gus simply favourites Jam-face over Prescott, which actually happens to be the main reason as to why he turns ‘bad’, so to speak. Prescott becomes desperate to appease his father, attempting to persuade him to give him the projector job, and when he realises that he isn’t getting the appreciation and approval that he wants, he turns to the only person willing to help him- the mad doctor.

Which leaves him to be backstabbed in the end- ironic right?

Shame on you, Gus.

how does Gremlin Prescott respond to criticism?

Gremlin Prescott is presented as being highly intelligent, and that wouldn’t exactly be false either, because he IS highly intelligent. However, upon being faced with criticism of any kind- such as Gus disregarding his ideas of upgrading the projectors, or Goofy not using his supercharger machine to filter thinner out of Ostown, be becomes rather grumpy over it, and so he should. (To be fair, Goofy wasn’t even using the supercharger properly in the first place, you are actually only supposed to use one.)

Not to be bias as an Epic Mickey two speed-runner, but Prescotts supercharger method during the first portion of the game is actually proven to be both effective, and fast! And a time saver for us speed runners… (thank you Prescott<3) Despite the after effects being a spray of thinner at various houses, it does actually get the job done,

Need a faster way of cleaning up the thinner in Ostown? Prescott provided the perfect solution!

And to add to this, Jam-face was the one who suggested using the three pumps as they are, whereas Prescott basically went a step further and provided a faster method which requires less pump use- and judging by the interaction between the two characters, we can only assume that this was another one of Prescott’s attempts to ‘prove himself’ to Gus, and to prove that he is better than Jam-face- which, he is!

And not to mention, Prescott also gets rather offended when someone tries to insult his intelligence- he saw Gus putting him in charge of the gag factory, as a criticism to his work, and therefore, he is slowly driven mad by it, Which unfortunately leads to his downfall.

This would again, proves him to be misunderstood, as the people he is trying to prove himself to are critical to his ideas, that are actually useful; they are not giving him a fair chance.

I might also add, Prescott will stop at nothing to prove himself correct. Going back to what i was saying with Goofy misusing the supercharged pumps, when he misuses them, Prescott snaps at him for doing so, only because after misusing them, Goofy decides on using jam-face’s method! (Idiot.)

Further on this, if you use prescotts method of clearing the thinner, he sounds certain that they would work, just like he said, in a rather bothered tone.

In conclusion to this, Prescott is just one of these people who- if questioned when he knows he is correct, he will willingly put up a protest!

gps waisted potential

Unsurprisingly, due to Prescott being given an awful job at the gag factory, he has naturally lost his potential to do well.

He blames Gus for wasting his talent- i quote

“My talents were wasted in the gag factory, wasted by you, Gus!”

Prescott’s idea of a place where he would be appreciated, is a dark, isolated and potentially dangerous abandoned float-yard- which perhaps implies that he does not believe he will ever be appreciated, hence the isolated area?

However you look at it, this definitely damaged Prescotts self esteem when it came to his works, he was constantly told by the mad doctor that “no-one could defeat” him, Despite Mickey and Co defeating him at the end of the second section of the game…

If you complete a flawless paint path for the dioramas (fix all 3 of them no with no mistakes), there is a section of dialogue between Abe and Prescott which is recited to Mickey, Gus and Oswald when they ask if he has heard from him.

To summarise, Prescott explains to Abe that what he is doing is for the benefit of himself, and that he is “going to a place where he will be appreciated”, he also states that “soon, everyone will remember his name.” Whether people will remember him for something good or bad is never actually stated, but we can infer it to be bad, as Prescott appeared to want to take over wasteland in vengeance against all who disliked him, maybe for the mad Doctor?

Gremlin prescott clearly has some kind of trust problems.

Abe appears to be one of the VERY few people (robots) that Prescott trusts, as the news does eventually get back to him that Mickey, Gus and Oswald are looking for him- which he is not impressed by… :|

So, would wasted potential be a factor for Prescott being misunderstood? I would say yes, as this is yet again, another reason for him to feel the need to lash out, and side with the mad doctor, one of the only people who seemed to appreciate him.

Para6: the telephone incident

For those unaware, Gremlin prescott dismantled (murdered) mickeys telephone in the thinner path of EM1, which happens to be the true ending… He did this because the telephone lured him into a safe, locked him inside and took his wrench; this is referred to by the fandom as the ‘telephone incident.’

To be blunt here, Being locked in a safe must’ve caused prescott some form of trauma- if he felt that strongly about being locked in there. What we could also infer from the incident is that prescott is INCREDIBLY vengeful; its not every day you see a person commit murder over being trapped somewhere…

And this incident could have influenced Prescott’s later actions in the game, potentially forming more of a hatred against Gus for putting the telephone back together.

Conclusion!

What conclusions could we make from this? Well, Prescott is a clearly complex character, who is evidently misunderstood. He struggles to trust people due to his past experiences, and because of the way he had been treated by Gus, having his work overlooked, he latched onto a person who turned out to not have the best intentions… we’ve heard this story before, haven’t we?

This is a common occurrence in antagonists, and the sad part about this particular situation is, Prescott looks up to the mad doctor as a father figure- and if the mad doctor didn’t turn out to be a twat, they could’ve been the perfect duo…

Maybe in another universe, folks!

[kcrabb88]

ok I'll bite. what are your thoughts on stewjoni biology?

Been waiting for a time when my frustration at the use of this trope (more than the existence of the trope) built up enough to be brave enough to answer. The usual disclaimer applies: people can write what they want. I'm not an anti. This is not a moral debate. People can have whatever kinks they want in fic. It's just my observations on how I'm seeing queer characters written in Star Wars fandom and how gender roles is being put into things based on what parts people have. Which, I thought we were not doing that anymore?

For the uninitiated, Stewjoni biology is a fanon concept where Obi-Wan is dual sex (he has a penis and a vagina and associated internal workings). The concept on it's own is fine. It's Star Wars! There is probably all kinds of biology and coming up with something for a planet with like, zero lore cause it was made up on the fly by George Lucas is creative! However. It's the execution and sameness of this concept that has started to uh, get under my skin.

So, I have a lot of thoughts on this, and they are two-fold and related. I think, likely without meaning to do so consciously, people are starting to assign personality traits to certain genitalia, and, in larger ways (due to other trends in Star Wars fandom) are re-inventing gender roles under the guise of queerness (which is, you know, kind of the opposite of the point of queerness!) Most fics I see with this concept (I said most, not all) simply ... have it there. There's not really an exploration of it so much from an intersex and/or trans point of view. How does this impact Obi-Wan's love life? Does it at all? How does it impact his life generally? What are his thoughts on his gender? Are dual sex people discriminated against in any way? I'm sure that is in some fics! But a lot of the time it pretty much goes down to "oh look he has a cunt!" Which I mean, that's not a mortal sin! I just think there could be things that are explored with it that aren't being explored. It's largely there to simply be another place for Obi-Wan to be penetrated.

The second, and likely more controversial part of my thought process, is that I find it. Kind of odd that it's Obi-Wan in particular this has been assigned to. Obi-Wan has what society might consider as more "feminine" traits. He's kind and he's patient and he prefers diplomacy over fighting. Now, this is not inherent to women, but society (and socialization) assigns these traits to women. So, I see a fic. It has this dual sex trope. Said dual sex trope LARGELY focuses on the fact that Obi-Wan, has a vagina. These fics are usually smut fics. Obi-Wan is usually a submissive in them (the conflation of "prefers to bottom" with submissive is a whole other rant and so is my Obi-Wan is sexually versatile agenda). Usually the other characters are, most of the time, a bit Super Masculine. The Super Masculine Man has a penis. The Less Masculine Man, Obi-Wan has a penis too but that's in the background. The focus is on the vagina. So it comes across as These Traits Are Assigned to These Genitals. It comes across as gender roles 2.0. The "feminine" one is the one who's submissive and has the genitals that are associated with cis women. He's the one who "takes it" as I've seen it phrased one too many times. Dirty talk in fic is fine! But the constant emphasis on that kind of phrasing in this situation has kind of off-putting implications as far as writing queer men goes, and kind of has some accidental misogyny in it to boot.

I will express again, these are deeply my opinions. No one who does this is bad or wrong and I have fic writers whose work I enjoy that use this trope. I just think that sometimes fandom picks A Thing To Do and then doesn't do it differently from each other, or take a step back and be like, huh, maybe we could examine this. I think it's one of those things that started off interesting and got flat over time. I'd love to see this concept explored! I'd love to see more trans Obi-Wan stuff! I just am not a fan of how this concept has been executed.

[dixonsgirl93]

What I think the Harry Potter men’s type of partner would be:

(I tried to be as realistic as I could with HCs that people might not like. But remember this is just for fun so if you don’t like it, just scroll. Thank you)

Draco Malfoy

- I think Hogwarts era Draco would be more likely to date a Slytherin girl mostly because he would be afraid of his father ridiculing him. I feel like his mother would just be happy to see Draco happy but he cares a lot about what his father thinks.

- I don’t think he would care about their hair colour, he wouldn’t have a preference but he would be hesitant to date someone with red hair. Partly because Lucius would make a big deal of the image of the Malfoys and mention their children being gingers and how much he’d despise that and also for the similarity of the “blood-traitor” Weasleys.

- I think his personal preference of body type would range from very slim to midsize. Whether because of his upbringing or what, I just don’t think he would date a plus-size or larger girl.

- Adult Draco wouldn’t care so much about their blood status but having been brought up with racist views, that kind of ingrained mentality would be hard to shift.

Sirius Black

- I don’t think he cares about their body type. Skinny, midi, larger, whatever. As long as you get on well and find each other attractive then he’s happy.

- He prefers more boisterous women, who can match his energy and put him in his place. The type who rather rebellious but also intelligent and kind.

- I’d say he’s also heteroflexible to a degree. He enjoys kissing men and doesn’t care if people think he’s gay but he definitely prefers to date only girls.

Lucius Malfoy

- His type? Basically Narcissa. Pureblood, slim, intelligent. Someone who can also put him in his place but respect him.

- For him, he wants someone equal to him, someone he can proudly show on his arm. This also means she has to be pretty and slim and well groomed.

- He’s grown up with the ideals and racism that Draco faced but leaned into it rather than away like Draco wanted/tried to do.

Severus Snape

- He’d perhaps want someone who matches his energy. I think he’d want someone happy-go-lucky to suit his more serious personality. Someone patient and kind. He hides it but he has a delicate heart.

- Looks-wise I’m not sure he could date someone with red hair, her reminding him too much of his first love. She would have to really wear down his walls before he would consider letting her in. Otherwise he wouldn’t have a preference.

- He wouldn’t care about their blood status if he felt a true connection with someone. At the end of the day he wants someone kind.

- He’s a sucker for brown eyes and freckles.

Remus Lupin

(I know he’s with Tonks but let’s say if she wasn’t in the series, what would be his type?)

- He’s a smart, bookish guy so I feel like he’d want his partner to be similar. He’d someone he could debate with about world topics and literature.

- He’d prefer if she was well dressed but if there was a genuine connection he wouldn’t care so much if she wore hoodies or something all the time.

- He goes more for personality than how pretty someone is, but he is a sucker for long, wavy hair (that was until Tonks came along and he realised he didn’t even care about hair).

- He would either want someone who was rather opposite to him in terms of out-going and more interested in movies than books or someone who’s more bookish.

- He would like someone he could settle down with though, who would be serious about him. Family is a big deal to him.

Alastor Moody

- As much as I adore Moody and want to just write that *I’m* his type, he’s actually pretty hard to write for. He’s a very stoic person, very serious and paranoid.

- I think he would just be surprised if someone desired to get close to him and didn’t care about his scars or missing body parts. He’d be paranoid at first, assuming the worst but presuming this…

- He wouldn’t really have a preference of how they look. More so that they take care of themselves and present themselves nicely etc. That sort of thing.

- Now, if I am to picture Moody with a partner. I imagine a woman in her mid-late 40’s (youngest), smartly dressed, maybe a secretary or manager, brunette, sophisticated.

- However, do I think he would date someone younger? Like half his age? (If we are to assume he’s in his 60’s). It’s possible. He’d be very hesitant though so you’d need to form a strong bond first which could take years. He’d be worth it though.

[sophieinwonderland]

Some notes on lateral violence and bigotry

Lateral violence is a theory that is used to explain why members of a marginalized community might harm other members of that marginalized community.

The theory is basically that because of the systemic oppression that certain people face, they become angry and will often take out their aggression on their peers in that same community because of an inability to fight their actual oppressors.

Something that is really important to understand about this is that it doesn't assume that there is an intentionality behind these actions. You aren't necessarily hurting other members of your marginalized community because they are a member of your marginalized community. They just end up becoming a natural outlet.

A member of a marginalized community ends up hurting their friends or their family or their spouse, and this isn't because the people they are hurting are [insert marginalized identity.] They are just angry at the world around them and take that anger out on the people closest to them.

So when I see people saying that it's not bigotry, it's lateral aggression, I need to note that these are not mutually exclusive. Because while lateral aggression does not imply that bigotry is present, it definitely can be in one of two ways. (Which can overlap.)

Internalized bigotry

This is bigotry that is a result of a member of a marginalized community hating people or seeing people of their own community as inferior in some way.

If you want an example of what this looks like, you can look no further than Mark Robinson, a black politician recently outed for incredibly racist comments, including stating that he wanted to bring back slavery.

Mark Robinson is but the latest in a very long line of self-hating members of marginalized communities that conservatives love to prop up.

These are explicitly bigoted against their own race, gender, sexuality, etc.

Bigotry towards the out-group

This is bigotry that is based on divisions within a community, having a group that is bigoted against another related marginalized community. An example of this might be the LGB Alliance, a transphobic group that is opposed to inclusiveness of other queer advocacy groups.

And here we get to a section where it's... Questionable to me how much this would even be considered lateral violence. Because generally these are subdivisions of groups. Members of the LGB Alliance are probably not going to be sharing much of a community with transgender people. Nor do they view transgender people as part of their community.

Is it actually still lateral violence, when the people you are targeting are not part of the communities that you are in? When you have subdivided yourself into your own community that supports and enforces bigotry against another?

I don't really know the answer to this.

Back to sysmeds

When you are defining yourself by opposition to a marginalized community, even if that is a subgroup within a larger umbrella, that is bigotry.

I am shocked that this is being debated at all.

The only thing that I think really warrants debate here is whether this bigotry actually qualifies as lateral aggression or not.

Are we even part of the same community when anti-endos mostly reside in their own servers that ban anybody who is endogenic or even just pro-endo? When they insulate their blogs with DNIs to protect themselves from the horror of an endogenic system liking or reblogging their content?

To me, this feels outside the scope of what lateral violence was made to explain. Or at least, on its edge. It is not simply showing aggression towards peers around you. It is targeted hate towards a subgroup that you do not identify with and view as outsiders.

I would be interested in hearing what other people have to say about this. About whether this technically counts as lateral violence or not when anti-endos do not view themselves as part of our community.

I would not be interested in hearing somebody trying to argue that hate against endogenic systems isn't bigotry though.

[cartoonscientist]

this has probably been touched on before but so much of fionna and cake ties into the theme of self-value and self care by making references to (what is traditionally viewed as female-centered) fan culture and specifically the debate around whether fanfiction should have “some basic level of quality” or whether it should be considered an unbridled form of self expression closer to art therapy than writing a professional novel (it obviously comes down on the side of the latter)

the theme of Simon not wanting to discuss his “old stuff” that he finds embarrassing and painful because he wrote it in a very bad place mentally, what he sees as mediocre, emotionally masturbatory wish fulfillment that says way too much about his psyche, although it’s shown that other people get a lot out of the Fionna and Cake series, suggesting that it’s a versatile work of fiction which readers can interpret to fit their own emotional needs even if it’s not exactly “high art”

or Scarab’s ultimately self-destructive obsession with wiping out what he considers a “mediocre” “abomination”, even though everyone around him is telling him to chill and let it go and focus on more important things because it doesn't really matter. for years, and even today, fandom has been plagued with (usually cishet male these days, but women used to make up a far larger portion of the snark/anti-fan community) fans who don't only dislike shipping and original characters, they actively seek out creators who do enjoy these things to harass them. or, I'm sure you've seen those people on twitter who get really mad about the fact that leaving long critical notes on ao3 fics (when not prompted or specifically requested not to) is widely considered Pretty Fucking Mean

both Simon and Scarab are basically being told by the narrative to take it easy, to not care so hard about like, the ontological definitions of "art" and "quality". Simon learns to value Fionna and her world, realizing that they have a life beyond the circumstances he believed he created them under. (but when he again tries to assume control, to sacrifice his own well-being for people he feels are more deserving of love than him, his space god girlfriend basically slaps him and says "you are so special and amazing on your own simon, you don't need to hurt yourself, you don't need to try to handle everything by yourself, and actually sacrificing yourself when you don't need to is kind of a dick move, and yes I know from experience because I'm omniscient now" [which ties into what's kind of the thesis statement of the show, Simon and Fionna both feeling like they're not special and don't deserve to exist or receive care and affection because they aren't exceptional, ie don't have magical abilities/live in an adventurous fantasy world; basically, you don't NEED to be super talented and amazing and saintlike to deserve to be happy, you just need to BE, and do your best as a human])

FOOTNOTE: when Scarab told Fionna that what she did wrong was exist, it was painfully reminiscent of transphobic (and anti-ND) harassment (and ultimately added another layer of satisfaction and validation to his defeat) and tbh it's hard for me to believe the writers didn't intend that at least subconsciously

[zalrb]

Would you call part of the affection Walt had for Jesse genuine love or do you think it can't be love because all the bad cancels out the capability for real love? I guess it comes down to everyone's definition of love but this is obviously one of the most debated relationships. I mean it speaks to their complexity and I want more dynamics on this level tbh lol where there's just SOOO MUCH. I miss the sooo much stuff lmao.

I definitely think their relationship is one of the most complex and layered relationships I've seen onscreen and with every rewatch, my feelings become more complicated. I remember when I was watching it in real time, me and my friend would have arguments because he hated Jesse and thought Walt could do no wrong in that dynamic specifically and I effectively thought Walt was a monster and was holding Jesse hostage so it was a really intense back and forth between us at the time.

I'll be the first to say that a lot of Walt's mistreatment of Jesse, while inexcusable, doesn't happen in a vacuum:

Jesse was severely unreliable and put Walt in extremely difficult situations because of his unreliability, such as when he’s so high he can’t deliver the meth to Gus and so Walt has to break into Jesse’s house to make the deal happen, causing him to miss the birth of Holly. Or demanding half of Walt’s cut because Hank took his, which actually isn’t really Walt’s problem. Or leaving the key in the ignition for two days straight.

And one of the sickest moments of irony on the show is him and Jane's dad talking about not giving up on family and it's a conversation where Walt calls Jesse his nephew, and he could've said he had a friend who had a son and he sees their issues, but he chose to refer to Jesse as his family.

And even though letting Jane die had serious larger consequences and of course deeply wounded Jesse, it also leads to his sobriety because Walt cared enough about him to put him in rehab instead of letting him kill himself in a meth den, which Walt would have the capacity to do for someone he did not view as family. He did just let a woman choke to death after all.

Not to mention, a lot of the obstacles they face snowballs from one particular decision, which was Walt's decision to protect Jesse, to keep Jesse from making the mistake of killing Gus' men, Walt does it instead:

which then leads to Gus trying to kill Walt but then that leads right back to Walt putting the responsibility of killing Gale on Jesse, which just breeds this cycle of codependency and toxicity.

Which leads to the question, does it matter whether or not what Walt feels can be love if the result is the same? It's still toxic, it's still codependent, it's still controlling, it's still verbally abusive. There is still an inherent power dynamic between the two of them

He still isolates Jesse from the things that make him happy. To me, what's one of the most disturbing scenes between them is when he manipulates him into breaking up with Andrea in season 5, the way that conversation starts with Walt making Jesse feel happy and hopeful

and then him slowly fracturing Jesse's relationship and potential relationship and then seeing Jesse get more and more panicked

he still ruins Jesse's peace at every turn so, I'm actually asking, does it matter if he also genuinely loves him?

[kwayarchive]

Last night I asked myself, “What does it mean to be an innovative artist in a collectivist society?”. By collectivist, I guess I mean places that either self-prescribe or are associated with homogeneity, with strong shared communal values and principles — where “sameness” is amplified over individuality and independence.

As a caveat, this is not at all to say that in these spaces individuality or independence doesn’t exist, or that sameness has replaced entirely these concepts manifesting in these spaces. I don’t want to make any strong assertions like that at all.

When I think of places that can be described as above, what first came to mind were parts of Eastern Asia — I.e. Japan, Korea, China, etc. So really, I asked myself, “how do artists in this part of the world cultivate individuality and personal identity within their work?”.

The first artists that come to mind with very clear and conspicuous personal styles — such that they are recognizable within these pieces and can be named very easily — are Japanese artists Takashi Murakami and Yayoi Kusama.

Now some additional caveats. Yes, these are artists from only one country out of the few I listed but, despite their many obvious and may be not so obvious differences, I feel this region of the world shared similar social constructs and structures, which is why I’m allowing myself to even use just these two artists as an example. However, this id not to assert that these countries are entirely the same, not even in this particular aspect, only that there are parallels. Also, I won’t be doing any kind of visual analysis of these artists individual styles, so this won’t be a very in-depth investigation into this phenomenon I want to explore, but it will open the door to a larger conversation that should be given more depth. Finally, none of this is to say that “western” spaces and their preference for “individuality” (which may also be debatable) is ideal for cultivating personal identity. I think the west does a better job of selling the fantasy of individuality, which in turn may make it easier to cultivate personal identity more.

Anyways.

I highlight these two artists because they have cultivated styles of art that one would think is asynchronous with the values and principles regarding art and “good art making” in these spaces.

A friend of mine, an amazing painter with a proclivity for reflective surfaces and geometric shapes, who is originally from China, has similarly cultivated a style that would not be considered “orthodox” in artistic spaces there. In our studio class, we would often get glimpses of their stress, imposter syndrome, and self-imposed pressure to succeed and make “good art” that I’m sure was used in these spaces to diminish the value of their work — because it doesn’t “fit” an orthodox style of painting.

I guess all of this is to say, I’m making a conjecture here. Because although I can’t confirm if this is truly the case, it does come across that in spaces with strong ties to collectivist values/emphasis on tradition and “sameness”, that it’s much harder to cultivate personal identity. And even when there are clearly artists who have been able to do so, there are remnants of the values of tradition/orthodoxy that influence either the work itself, the process of creation, or the way in which the artist themselves view their personal style.

So when the tools for constructing personal identity are essentially discouraged, or at least renounced, in particular social environments, how do the artists in those spaces even come to create their own styles or techniques? What kinds of work must be done to break from the monotony of the rest of the group? To trust in the direction of your art as opposed to what the majority asks of you?

I’m sure with additional research into the aforementioned artists I will come to see how they grew into their practices, and crystallized their personal identity. But I also wonder if I’ll find that within their works are traces of these collectivist values and principles, but repackaged in new form.

Updates to come as I do more reading 🫡

[theliterarywolf]

Bit of fandom history musings, observations by Anonymous

Almost everything negative that ended up coming from the MLP Brony outrage, had basically nothing to do with Bronies, and everything to do with modern pearl-clutchers. 

Some might say “But the porn!” “But the creeps” “But the weirdos!” “But the but the but the” and like, it exists, and existed, but that’s literally EVERY fandom, before then, and even now. There was nothing in that fandom, that didn’t exist elsewhere, yet MLP Bronies are still held up as this “evil scourge” to fandom history.

The difference, from my observations then and now, was that it was the first time that men would openly and in bigger numbers, would step outside the “MALE” designated fandom spaces and behaviour, and would in a much higher degree join in, in the “female” fandom experience. Something that had happened in reverse, larger amounts of women going into “male” fandom and interacting with it, but never really the other way around.

Besides people viewing MLP as “for children” and more specifically “For girls” suddenly having older men was this huge thing, because it hadn’t happened like that before, especially since many men would more openly talk about these things, which before that, was more viewed as “women’s fandom behaviour” such as writing fanfics, and engaging in certain types or RP’s, and just general fan-art creation, and SHIPPING! which largely actually was SFW mainly, the NSFW just stayed in people’s minds longer and was made bigger through outrage-sensationalism.

I also feel like the MLP time, is when Antis first really started coming out,  back then you didn’t really have the “Proshipper vs Antishipper” debate, you had people who did their thing, and you had people who avoided it if they didn’t like it. You didn’t really have that binary concept of “Yes and No”-in shipping, you had squicks, citrus-scales, “Don’t like don’t read” and more labels/tags to curate the fandom, and it worked to keep people away from content they didn’t want to see. Heck, MLP actually ADDED to said safety, with safe-search wrap-ups, and I’d argue it was one of the first fandoms to really look at fandom content on the internet in that way.

It feels only after MLP, did it really start getting big, with people making small or, let’s be honest normal fandom behaviour, into huge issues, which they then dragged out into the open and pointing at it, as if this was everything Bronies did. This includes youtubers who’d make outrage content, but even Tumblr back then was rife with sensationalism, and outrage-posting/baiting, on purpose going into NSFW spaces, dragging it out, and then claiming it was Bronies who couldn’t behave and showing it to children, when that was blatantly untrue. Even though this used to be normal, Zines, fan-meets, etc, was the same, but they were less open, before MLP, people almost didn’t really remember that the internet was much more open, and MLP-bronies kinda showed that now LITERALLY everyone with an internet connection could join in, in fandoms.

I also think it got even worse with the over the top reactionaries when another show became popular, Steven Universe, a show which had an older-target audience, but also was even more blatant in inviting men to watch it. With MLP, people tried to argue that it was obviously for girls, despite the showrunners stating it was for everyone, but with SU it was even more blatant, with it’s already default older target audience, and the male protag, and some other story elements.

The problem SU faced, beyond the usual bullshit of Executive meddling, and the even more Anti-LGBT rules from cartoon networks, in this case literally Cartoon Network, was the fact that it was put on a pedestal because of the LGBT-themes, and even more deeply scrutinised for everything, and because of that, the fandom which had already been freaking out for years over MLP, suddenly got even more agitated because “We don’t want those filthy men to invade SU with their presence!” I literally remember the outcry and just insane levels of anger when people suspected men might join the SU fandom, like they did MLP, to the point that “Gentlegems” (Gentlemen+gems) was the supposedly the title these male fans gave themselves, and that “don’t let them join the fandom” became a really big message. I think SU was also the point where Anti’s really started coming out, and stating their “Anti-ship” sentiment, though it also covered certain fanart, and content. 

I also think the SU fandom is the one that popularised “CODING” aka “We’re stereotyping, but we’re gonna rename it to make it less -ist/-phobic.” I mean, I remember how the forerunner for the official Anti-label was literally about “You can’t ship these two gems, bc they’re toxic together.” or “You can’t ship them, because this one is clearly lesbian” or “You can’t ship because XYZ whhfbdsf”. And since the show was probably the first time you actively saw LGBT, but specifically WlW content in an official show for all ages, the Antishipping front really manifested with arguments that were most likely more to protect their own fave ship, but also to keep MlF ships away but was phrased in such a way that it was less about personal taste, and more phrased to make it seem like it was a moral-ethical failure on your part, if you shipped two characters together the person in question (the Anti) didn’t like, instead of just a difference in taste.

Don’t even get me started on coding. While the candy-coloured gemstone warriors certainly showed certain traits of specific humans, something that can’t be denied, the showrunners always made it clear that the gems themselves weren’t actually humans, and therefore weren’t part of any human race regardless of their appearance. But of course, you’d then have people claiming “Well this character is clearly black, latina, and white!” but when certain story-elements were revealed that “went against” that coding, people freaked out. One noteable event: Pearl, the snow-white Gem, turned out to be, effectively a of a “personal-slave-servant”-class, and was the only one of such origin. People freaked out because “how can this white skinny character be of the slave class?” The other two gems, from the main trio were effectively: Born-Warrior, and Fusion of Aristocrat and Personal-bodyguard.

I think another thing was also coding through VA’s, I don’t think I’d ever seen any “this character has to be X because the VA is X” to this high of a degree and fervour, which started with the VA for Garnet, who is a black singer Estelle, which then sparked more mainstream(?) debate about how VAs should match their characters. For some reason the same didn’t apply to the same degree to the the “Latina-coded” Amethyst, nor the (most commonly) White-coded Pearl, who were both voiced by Asian-American VAs, Pearl being VAd by DeeDee Magno Hall, who’s Fillipino-American, and Amethyst by Michaela Dietz who’s a Korean-American.If fandom behaviour from certain people in the MLP haydays (lol) was bad, it got even worse, and even more aggressive with SU, where even small infractions would rain the wrath of hundreds of angry fandom folks onto your head, as a reactionary of the MLP-Brony “issue”. And while I personally think both shows were actually pretty ok, they really did shape a lot of how modern fandom behaves, and acts, and how people now view shows and the content produced because of it in a way for the worse, through no actual fault of the shows themselves. I especially remember the SU fandom getting even more aggressive after 2016. (Wonder why… /S)

Also note of the absolute batshit insanity that happened in these fandoms: The artist who made both MLP and SU fanart, who was harassed so badly she tried to take her own life. All because they drew Rose Quartz a bit skinnier, and because they drew Fluttershy as a human in a Native American dress. In which people later also proved some of the criticism against the Artist’s art had been manufactured, such as people editing the Fluttershy-NA art to be more red skinned than she actually was in the OG-art. (I’ll not name them, out of respect.) But I also remember one person who succeeded in their attempt if I’m not wrong.

Anyway, I’ve always failed at conclusions, so I’ll let you draw your own. I’m just writing as someone who somehow managed to avoid being in the fray of it all, but still managed to observe most of this in real time on a bunch of different sites.

[jvstheworld]

The Buffy Re-watch: S1E7 (part 3)

Angel

Okay, last part of this episode. Hurray.

Buffy is now on the war path after believing that it was Angel who bit her mum. Which means we get to see the crossbow in action.

Darla talks about Buffy not wanting to see Angel's 'true' face, and while Buffy minds in this episode that he is a vampire, In 'What's my Line, part 1' Buffy will eventually not mind kissing him while in vamp mode.

Question for the audience: are vampires naturally kinky? Or do you get vanilla vampires?

Giles and Joyce together is sweet, they make a good pair, either as platonic co-parents to Buffy (and later Dawn) or as a one-off romantic couple.

How much leather did they use for the clothing of this show? Like every other episode has someone in leather. And then Spike comes in and it's every episode, but at least it's the same coat. We do get some iconic outfits from all the leather, but there's just so much.

Romani curse explanation time. I won't use the G-word because I know it is viewed as a slur. Even though it is used in the show, I will be respectful and not use it.

There are many philosophical debates about what a soul is. Despite my D in A-Level Religious Studies, I am not capable of talking about it. Essentially, the soul is supposed to be responsible for the conscience that a person has. It's Jiminy Cricket. When a person is sired they lose that, and have the capability to become a killing machine. Angel's curse restored his soul to him and now feels infinite remorse over all the carnage he caused as punishment for killing a Romani girl. That bit is clear. However, is the soul responsible for other emotions too? One of the big debates is could Spike love Buffy without a soul? And this is a question I will explore when I get there, I just want to pose it now out of interest. Because Darla, without a soul, loves Angel. Or is the love that Darla and Spike have a tainted type of love? But when Spike does get a soul it becomes a purer type of love? And what does that mean for humans who are capable of some truly horrible things and can have a twisted view of love? Or am I just digging too deep with this?

Angel hasn't had his full history written yet, because as we later learn in his own show, he has bitten people while ensouled. In retrospect he is kind of lying to Buffy.

We get the first use of guns in the show, by a duel wielding Darla, who should really learn to count her bullets. And aim better.

Willow coming in with the distraction and telling Buffy the truth.

Angel gets the kill. Sort of poetic. @girl4music reblogged one of my other posts talking about the early world building that happened during this season and how it doesn't match up with later ones and the spin-off. And I have to agree. This is probably due to the show being a mid-season replacement with a short season, so larger world/character building is not going to a major thing until the show gets another season and looks like it might have some longevity to it. Would Angel/Angelus have killed Darla? In retrospect, no. He would cause her harm, sure. He does later set fire to her and Drusilla. But within the context of this season without any meta info, it was done for shock value and to set Darla up as just a disposable villain. I am glad she gets brought back in the spin off and we get more info into her 400 year old life, because a character like her would have really been wasted if she never appeared again.

We are nearing the end. Xander is definitely threatened by Angel.

They acknowledge the age difference, I'm glad they do.

They kiss again, and he gets burned by the cross that Buffy wears, that was a gift from him. Also, the parallel that when Buffy finds out Angel has a soul, he gets burned by a cross at the end of the episode. Then when she finds out that Spike has a soul he burns himself on a cross at the end too.

That's the end of the my possibly coherent thoughts episode 7. This actually took more work that I thought it would. Tomorrow we talk about Willow's dating life. No guesses for how that fairs.

[witchcraftandburialdirt]

Because I know we talked about it but also because I know it's smthn u enjoy thinking about: How much has Tarhos corrupted Haru and how much of it is just the darkin is a God, corrupted as he may be, that actually answered his prayers unlike the others?

✧ ── 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍 𝐈𝐍𝐐𝐔𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 LEAGUE VERSE

Something that makes Haruo and Tarhos' relationship unique is, at least to me, their joined mindspace - while Rhaast and Kayn can communicate telepathically and can read eachother it is still two separate beings bickering with one another. For Haruko and Tarhos the line is much more blurred; they experience eachother's feelings and desires, hear each single thought and even have shared dreams. They are less "two people in one body" and much more "one person in two bodies" in terms of how they can communicate with eachother, I mean technically if we wanted to get really into it we could debate about how there is no true unified "self" but rather a fractaling recursion of self-repeating selves - think about how your conscience talks to you in your own voice or how you ask yourself questions and you answer them - that. Its incredibly complicated to try to explain in a tumblr post but that is how, for myself at least, Haru and Tarhos operate. Tarhos and Haru can hear the other one talking and know its not them doing it but it still feels like their own thought. I hope that makes sense because it's only going to get worse from here -

While that isn't necessarily the question I do think its an important thing to distinct when speaking about them; before Tarhos found a vessel they basically acted as a singular unit anyway - I doubt that mindset would change much once he took over the dragon in Ionia. So, beginning with that I'm going to continue on and say that I don't think Haru was "corrupted" so much as he was validated. Before the Noxian invasion Haruko was most likely living peacefully in Bahrl with his village and family, there was tension between Vastayans and Humans as always but he didn't go out comitting murder for fun. He just simply did not interact with them or care enough to - and I really don't think he cared about or even knew about Noxus. Based on that alone we can see a distinct difference from the past to present, and I do think that has a large chunk to do with Tarhos. Darkin are PTSD ridden forgotten Gods whose last moments feeling sunlight were surrounded by the rise of the Void, and the fall of Azir along with the Empire of Shurima - and when Haruko first found Tarhos, the blade was eager for bloodshed and violence.

Upon first contact their minds partially merged, Haru's strength of spirit was able to dominate and shackle back Tarhos' possession of him for the most part, but not completely. The battle was fought and Haruko fled having lost practically everything within a single day by an unknown force that brutalized without mercy - which I'm sure is an event Tarhos can understand way too well. This is where the validation and mind-merging come into play; even if Tarhos did not actively say anything to Haru at that time, Haru can still feel what Tarhos is and vice versa. Within Tarhos' own bloodlust and hatred towards the Void Haru felt validated and correct in his anger and immediate dehumanization of Noxians; seeing them as a plague to Ionia much like the Void is a plague to Shurima. Once the mind has decided to dehumanize it is very easy for people to fall into acts of violence without any reprise or guilt over them; its happened many a time throughout history and is still happening today. And that is very hard to change once its cemented, particularly through a place of deeply rooted trauma which resulted in a cultural and territorial genocide. One of which the very land has still not healed from.

Haru does view Tarhos as a God too - he is one - and to have those views validated and reaffirmed by something so universally larger than him screams to him that he is correct. Tarhos didn't have any bit of a healthy mindset when they originally met, they were both spiteful and livid at the world around them - and violence always breeds violence, anger breeds anger etc. With Tarhos healing though it does leave an actively larger question regarding that original validation; does it still hold as much as it should? Haru hates Noxians so much and frankly would be fine if they were eradicated, but that seems a very sharp shift for a creature thats lived in relative peace for 300+ years. Anger is often a mask we wear to hide things we're not ready to face yet, its the brain defending itself from whatever ugly can of worms needs to be opened but will really really hurt when it eventually does.

In short, Haru has found comfort, validation, and solace in a bloodthirsty God which reaffirms his fury and approves of it - he isn't getting any help for the legitimate reasons he's like this - and until he does there won't be any end to it. I don't think he was corrupted, I think Tarhos' just helped pour gasoline ontop of a small fire and both of them let it explode without really thinking about the consequences afterwards or why the fire was there to begin with.

[abyssalpriest]

I think.... I really needed to make peace with that game and reconnect with him and remember him as first and foremost being the Day Sky to me like at the same time... I guess it's a No Shit Dei situation, Leviathan is a damn world-widely worshiped spirit he knows what he's doing he is ancient but like

I can't.... Explain in words how much of myself and my will to do spirit work and my stability and trust in myself was lost when I broke up w my ex, figuring out the little cult he had started surrounding this game I won't mention by name was...... A fucking cult and a section of a larger organised cult that he purposely kept me isolated from for Cult Reasons ie he purposely isolated members of his religious followings from each other in order to stop them piecing shit together and like.... Look. It was a cult.

I... Was so ready, when I worked with that game as a basis for my spirituality, to be insane. To be mad, to be on the border of humanity and the spiritual, to say weird shit. My power is partially in the sky and partially in madness and partially in the eldritch (one day I'll find a name for this since I don't like lovecraft and fiction-based connotations for myself, because surprise surprise due to aforementioned cult reasons that's a bit of a sensitive thing), that's me, the intersection of the day and the madness of communion with knowledge and God and the deep and dark tendril-based watery depths.... and I associated the eldritch with my abusive cult leader ex and the madness of the time was all me spouting his cult ideas and things that explicitly were made up to a larger audience, and the sky..... I felt like I was a piece of shit and I was so disconnected from so much of myself that I couldn't be a part of the sky. Today marks a change

I'm allowed to be batshit insane and still know what I am talking about. I'm allowed to be eldritch and not inherently be a danger to people. I am (a part of) the overarching Day Sky which always takes up huge swathes of space and has a presence and is liminal and transcendental and undefined - and also is neutral and doesn't rule over incarnated Earth nor is it more important than Earth, the sky and the earth are eternal equal lovers with different skills and strengths and techniques but remain in love. The sky is allowed to exist in neutrality. I'm so sick of existing in discourse online where one team has to be righteous and therefore deserves power over the wicked and the other side is wicked and therefore must be punished... I'm sick of microanalysing every little thing I do because it gets completely in the way of what spirit work is. For fucks sake man I'm able to sit here discussing views on human sacrifice with gods where we're allowed to have very different views without judgement, I'm allowed to say woah but it's a human life and they're allowed to say yes but you eat animals, can't we eat you? And no one witch hunts anyone, we can debate.... And we talk (unrelatedly) how I want to consume because I am a living being and a growing spirit that hungers, and does that mean I'm ready to be consumed? When the hunt turns on me will I be ready to be eaten alive? having intellectual conversations on these topics with ancient nature spirits.... Enlightening. Mind-blowing. Completely new ways of seeing the world and then completely new ways of seeing what I'm seeing... Meanwhile back on this plane if I say the wrong word that I didn't know was bad I'm expected to lie down and take it when I'm hunted for sports, not because we admit we're all animals who want to enforce order but because Im a disgusting beast....

I can finally admit I am gentle by force of will because I do not wish to harm people, I do everything I can to stick to my morals and be gentle, I am simply existing, doing my job, spreading information which is by itself neutral - not even teaching, just leaving my records of my Tantric evolving journey into awakening to my true self for others to see as a curiosity.... I'm tired of That Game I Mentioned (or the version of it my ex taught me) and the cult I was in surrounding said game colouring my vision and I am tired of not embodying the part of nature I have been since before discourse was a thing because; despite the fact I know I cry if I offend people let alone actively hurt them, I am listening eternally for every other humans opinions on what I am doing before I do anything. But I do not work for humans. Why have I been so upset day in day out about every little wrong thing I do, every off phrasing of sentences, tearing apart everything I am and do and hating it because it's all marred with hurtful clumsy problematic takes and uneducated opinions and dangerous ideas? Why am I paranoid about hurting people to the point of wringing dry all my experiences of all their character and nuance? I do not work for humans.

I am allowed to make mistakes and mess up and I will correct myself. I need to trust that. I need to trust that most people will just tell me if I do something that's a social faux pas and just talk it out with me... And as my Lord said, I need to acknowledge that I work for him, a spirit to whom humans have been sacrificed and many have lost their lives - but also because of whom we are here today and who watches over us and loves us actively and constructively and teaches us things that progress our civilisation forward. I work for something that is beyond what our human minds can wrap around and confine into human morality and discourse... And I work for him as in I don't just bow to him but channel him, he possesses me, I am one of his vessels, my eyes are his eyes whenever he wants them. He comes round to eat my food, to read my messages to friends, to give opinions, to rearrange my furniture, there is increasingly less and less divide between us....... Which means I have to be ready to transcend past human imposed barriers on thought and progress. And that means I, a part of the Day Sky, need to trust my Lord, and I have learned.... That I can. And I want to. I'm ready to trust again. Accidentally just highlighted the text from need to trust my Lord to the end of the last sentence and it was highlighted in day sky blue lmfao. Thank you. I will.