#but i really don't want to remove that fear from him completely bc it's what makes hawu'li himself

[dimiclaudeblaigan]

If there is at least one thing I can credit FE for doing better than Tales in localization, it's not trying to actively go out of their way for an entire game to avoid subtext or direct text between two men that is romantic or implied romantic. Funny when it's so present that the attempt doesn't even work; infuriating that it was attempted to begin with.

So as much as I often have issues with some of FE's localizations, at least they have a leg up on loc Tales for that.

[neriyon]

Oh uh it might sound like I'm killing the other two off - no, no one is dying, it's just that the owners of Hawu'li's co-wols have been very busy and their characters have been in this weird limbo of "well they are on a vacation, but might come back later".

Think I never really talked about the whole co-wol thing here too much so as a little background thing: me and 2 friends started ffxiv together, and even if the two others have been cutscene skippers since the start bounced lots of story and oc ideas off of eachother. So, 3 wols that went through the main story as a weirdly built party (healer, dps and an all-rounder). Lore wise we made it that Hawu'li left Gridania to became adventurer, found half dead elezen man (Drae, also new adventurer) after he went against too many enemies alone. After healing him and some talking back in town they set out again together, along with an elezen girl (Nana) Drae found at the markets and convinced (pestered) to join them.

It's been fun and it's definitely given me ideas for Hawu'li that I'd never thought otherwise. His fear of being alone came from the fact that I rarely played without them - when I wanted to play solo I went to play on Maito (or other alts). Many other smaller character quirks too came from us messing around together.

Dre and Nana were put on "vacation" at the end of 6.0, with them finally getting married and possibly thinking about starting a family, while Hawu'li continued to work with the Scions.

But with Hawu'li being literally built to never be alone and the possibility that his co-wols might stay retired (unless their owners decide otherwise) looming around, I got to thinking if I should just make him a new co-wol or two. Possibly rework some other alts into it? I've been thinking about reworking N'jinh almost entirely, and Einn sits at a kinda awkward spot where I'm not sure what to do with him either, so either of them could work. Or that sad elezen I've been rotating around in my head since cloud test. He could have someone with him whenever story makes it so that the Scions can't be there, his old co-wols could have their happy family life, and Scions don't have to worry about their world saving catboy having a mental breakdown because someone forgot to accompany him to some longer fetch quest.

Also I wouldn't need to check every single msq related lore thing with the other two lol. It's fun to bounce ideas but it really takes time when you have to check if this or that is okay with them (and I'd rather not bother them constantly about that stuff)

Been doing some thinking about Hawu'li's lore today and it might be time to write his co-wols out 🤔

[pencileraser1]

pencil eraser one. you word your long posts about dps very well so im pointing my frustration with media-ly illiterate people in your direction. im constantly seething with rage at this podcast episode i listened to a very long time ago abt dps bc they said neils suicide was STUPID and OVERDRAMATIC. and i just. i wanna throw up that boy killed himself and ur calling himnoverdramatic what do i even do. i am high a little and this is very much affecting me i cant get up from this couch 🎀

you're completely correct for this i actually have a few thoughts about this so uh bear with me for a second

theres something that sucks so much about this specific type of criticism of this movie in particular to me because of how much i relate to neil. i watched dps for the first time when i was 17, severely depressed and borderline suicidal and i related So Much to him. i didn't write off his suicide or criticize it because i'd Been There.

generally i feel like this criticism probably stems from lack of understanding Why he would do what he did, and there's a number of reasons that that this could be although that would be leaning a bit too much into psychoanalysis and assuming things i don't know about them so i'm not going to go into it really

up until it happens, neil seems like he's doing mostly okay, and particularly if you haven't seen the movie before i could see how to certain people his suicide might seem overdramatic since it's a bit of a sudden shift from mostly okay to suicidal. but the thing is that up until this point, neil has just been doing a very good job at hiding that something is wrong.

my interpretation of the movie has always been that he'd struggled with some form of depression as well as dealing with some amount of suicidal ideation before the movie and had just generally been good at masking it. during the events of the movie he is the happiest he has ever been because of the combination of the poets, acting, and keating. so when at the end of the play his father suddenly takes away all three, and his options are either to confront his father (something that he feels is impossible to do- even if it technically isn't, the fear he has surrounding it of his father listening but not caring, or making things worse than the are, or anything else, prevents him from doing it) or suffer through 10 years of medical school away from anything he actually cares about, he decides to remove himself from the situation entirely instead.

(theres something about the way his suicide is framed within the movie where in some fucked up way his suicide more than anything else is his carpe diem. he's seizing control of his life in the only way he is physically capable of anymore)

neil's suicide isn't rational but that doesn't mean it doesn't make sense or that he's overdramatic. just because logically waiting out the 10 years until he's away from his dad or leaving as soon as he graduates high school or turns 18 or whatever it is is a better option doesn't mean that 1. he'd have the idea to run away early or more importantly think it doable (he tries so hard to not directly disobey his father the whole movie and after doing it one time is now stuck in This situation, additionally, while this is the 50's and in general shit costed less/jobs were easier to get/etc. he is financially dependent on his father and running away without any support is not the smartest decision) and 2. that he'd be physically capable of enduring the 10 years. because 10 years is a long time Especially if it's 10 years studying to become a doctor, something that is both generally difficult and also something he Doesn't Want To Do. and so the sudden switch from happiest time of his life to suicidal throws people off and they don't understand why he wouldn't have done any of the other options that they thing are the logical ones but to him probably didn't seem physically possible.

[scribefindegil]

ok i'm soooo happy you talked about the mind control thing with the divine tree arc. it rubbed me the wrong way a lot and is the reason why i still don't really like dimple, even though i know it's an important story point and all, i feel like brainwashing is a huge violation and it was never really talked about afterwards. it also rubbed me the wrong way when mob wondered if he did something wrong by stopping the brainwashing even though it made peopl happy, like i feel like that's so disrespectful to autonomy and such (even though, it is a fictional story)

i really like what you're doing with the brassica heresy, with tsubomi taking center stage bc she is one of my faves, i'm really excited where it will go!

Okay. It is possible that you will not like what I have to say. That's fine; you don't have to agree with me and you certainly don't have to like a fictional character who has done fucked-up stuff.

That said.

I feel like you're approaching this with framing that's pretty at odds with the themes of the show. Everyone agrees that the brainwashing was bad. A lot of Mob Psycho characters have done things that are bad. Pretty much everyone I know spent most of the Divine Tree confrontation absolutely furious with Dimple. But the question is: Okay, a character has done something awful. Now what? A lot of people would say that the only solution is punishment and rejection, that Dimple has done something too terrible for him to remain a sympathetic character, and he needs to be exiled or killed or imprisoned or otherwise removed from the show.

But Mob Psycho 100 believes, completely and utterly, with its whole chest, with every arc and with every character, that there is nothing you can do that is so terrible that you are undeserving of human connection, that you are incapable of changing for the better. It believes that there is no fundamental, ontological difference between the people you hate and the people you love, between a terrorist trying to take over the world and a kid who lashed out once and accidentally hurt his brother. Which isn't to say that actions don't matter; obviously they do, and they have consequences. But regardless of what they've done, everyone is just a person. Everyone can grow.

And, crucially, it isn't interested in punishment. Did the character realize their mistake and begin to change? That's what matters. The show doesn't have people constantly rehash the bad things they've done; it just gives them the chance to stop and choose a different path. And Dimple does. Dimple realizes that his goal of godhood wasn't going to make him happy, but his friendship with Mob was.

And people can have boundaries; people can decide that they don't want to be associated with someone any more; forgiveness, in Mob Psycho, is always a choice. But it's a choice that the characters continue to make because the show values kindness and transformation.

So like, yeah, the brainwashing was truly, deeply horrifying. And Mob loves Dimple anyway. And I do too.

(Also, to your point about the LOL cult: Mob is extremely anxious about doing the right thing and specifically about following social rules. And those people did seem to be happy, so of course it makes sense that the fear that he made their lives worse is going to eat at him. That's why Reigen's there, to reassure him, to tell him "You saved some people that only you could have saved," to listen to him tell his story and say that no, those people weren't really happy, and he did something good and important and necessary by breaking the spell.)

[svnflower-writes]

i'll stay in the pool and drown (so i don't have to watch you leave)

description: in which Sirius runs away and Regulus is left to deal with his emotions alone.

relationship: james potter x regulus black

warnings: mentioned child abuse + neglect, angst, hurt/comfort, not much jegulus more focused on reg and sirius. not a warning but i love pandora sm

word count: 3,806

requested: no but it tied for first in the poll

note: inspired by me listening to tv by billie eilish on loop (title lyric is so regulus coded). some mutuals will know allll about my little spiral and how it included a lotttt of tv by billie. oops. this is very angsty and possibly a reflection of my mental state rn but uh… sorry??? also this is totally unedited as always oops. also there’s not really much jegulus but the stuff that's there is fluffy. It’s mainly regulus and sirius being siblings and regulus centred angst bc i love him. a bit of sirius focused angst snuck in at the end and i didn't plan that but i love him soooo. again. i'm sorry. this is almost 4k words of pure angst. so.

ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54978655

marauders taglist: (lmk if you want to be added or removed) @lovefolder @gu1lty-as-sin @dandelions-fly-in-summer-skies @a-beautiful-fool @optimizedchaos @qwerty-keysmash @lost-in-reveriie @tulips-best @nqds

Regulus supposed that deep down, he had always known how everything would turn out. Sirius was always going to leave him, it was an unavoidable fact. Some things were simply written in the stars, irreversible parts of life that could not be changed by mere mortals meddling around with them. But just because it was fixed in stone, just because it was fate, didn’t stop Regulus from being completely and utterly destroyed by the mere concept. 

Sirius had been the only true constant in his life. 

He had been there when Regulus was five and their mother had looked at him with true resentment in her eyes and slapped him across the face for the first time. He had held the younger boy in his arms and ran his fingers through his hair, both boys shaking with fear as tears rolled down their cheeks. 

He had been with Regulus when he was eight and Orion had verbally abused him for merely interacting with a muggleborn. Sirius had sat down with Regulus and ensured that he had known that nothing he had done was wrong. After Reggie had understood this, they snuck to the kitchen and stole a jar of cookies to eat while the two hid in Sirius’ room. 

He had been there when Regulus was nine, his parents locking him in his room with no food for two days because he had freed one of their house elves. Sirius had sat outside Regulus’ door for the whole time, whispering to him and slipping food through the gap under the bed. They had sat in silence, neither finding anything to say that could possibly improve the situation. But silence or not, being there together made them both feel immensely better. 

Sirius leaving for Hogwarts was one of the worst years of Regulus’ life—he knew Sirius would be back, though, and that’s what kept him counting the days. 

Once Regulus came to Hogwarts, him and Sirius had seemed to drift apart slightly. This didn’t hurt as much as Regulus had anticipated it would, because he now had friends. He had Pandora, Evan, Barty, and Dorcas. Sometimes he had Sirius too, but Sirius was popular; he didn’t need to cling to his brother like he once had. Regulus didn’t miss the lingering glances in hallways, but he never really took any specific notice of them. He assumed that if Sirius had wanted to speak to him, he would have. 

In the summer holiday after Regulus’ first year, the brothers had reconnected. They grew closer than ever, and although they still didn’t speak much at school when they finally returned, there was no doubting the love between them. 

Sirius had always been there. Whether he was actually present in the moment or just in Regulus’ head, he was always by his side in his heart. But then, during the Christmas holidays of the year when Sirius turned sixteen, something seemed to change. Sirius’ fights with their parents became more and more frequent, going from happening twice a week to twice a day. He stopped being around as often, crashing at James’ house a few times a week. Regulus was holding his breath, knowing that if he stepped out of line even the slightest bit, one of his parents would snap and everything would take a turn for the worse.

He was also spending an increasing amount of time at Pandora’s house, her sweet nature a much preferred option to the feeling of walking on eggshells in his own home. Evan was there most of the time, and where Evan was, so was Barty. Every once in a while they’d manage to drag Dorcas away from Marlene and get the whole group together, but that was rather rare. It was nice, though, spending time together without the pressure of school. It ensured that Regulus understood that they actually wanted to be around him, something he had struggled with for as long as he could remember. 

One thing Regulus knew was that if asked who his best friend was, he would say Pandora without hesitation. He never doubted her genuinity, which soothed a lot of his anxiety and helped him put things into perspective. Regulus needed to know that he was wanted, and Pandora never hesitated to reassure him. The two had just had the Rosier house to themselves, Barty and Evan on a date and Pandora and Evan’s parents out for a dinner party. Music softly playing off Pandora’s record player she had bought at a muggle thrift store, the two sat on her bed eating chocolate brownies and talking about what some would consider nothing but was everything to them. They had been doing this for about six hours when Regulus decided that he should probably head home to avoid his parent’s anger at him for being late. 

Regulus got home and knew before he even stepped in the door that something was terribly wrong. Slowly and cautiously opening the door, Regulus held his breath as he stepped inside. The house was eerily silent, no whispers of paintings or hurried footsteps of houselves, let alone not a single sign of human life. Exhaling softly, he quietly shut the door and attempted to walk down the hallway without making a sound–which turned out to be easier said than done. The eyes on the paintings followed his every move, not once losing focus on him. He raised his hand to his forehead and pushed some stray hairs out of his eyes before making his way up the stairs to his room. He went three steps at a time, eyes fixed on the floor as the nervous lump in his throat simply grew. After what felt like an eternity, he made it to his room. His hand closed around the cold metal doorknob and he exhaled shakily. Turning the door handle, he stepped into his room before pausing. He turned, eyes landing on the door to Sirius’ room. Sighing softly, he closed his door and made his way across the hall to the door of his brother’s room. 

He knocked softly.

No reply.

“Sirius?”

He knocked again, slightly louder this time.

Still, nothing. 

“Sirius, can I come in?” 

There was no response. Regulus sighed, slumping down on the floor, leaning back against the door and letting his head knock against the wood. He chucked. “Doesn’t this remind you of something?”

Once again, nothing. He didn’t really know what he had expected.

“Sirius, I don’t mind if you don’t want to talk to me. I won’t be offended. Can I just come in and make sure you’re okay? Please?” 

The silence that followed ached painfully in Regulus’ ears. 

“I’m going to take your silence as a confirmation that I can come in.”

The only sound that broke the silence was Regulus’ sigh. He stood up, opening the door of Sirius’ room and glancing around slowly. It was messier than usual. Sirius wasn’t a tidy person, but he wasn’t this messy. Clothes covered every inch of the ground and one drawer of his chest of drawers had almost fallen right out of the frame. His bed was a sorry excuse of being made, covers and sheets falling off to the point where they were more on the floor than the bed itself. There was no Sirius to be seen. 

“I guess he’s spending the night at James’ again.” 

He turned to leave before pausing. He grabbed a piece of paper and a pen and started writing.

Hi, Siri. 

I assume you’re at James’, and I hope you’re okay.

I miss you, by the way. Maybe we could hang out when you get home back.

Reg

Regulus liked James—possibly a little too much —so he knew his brother was in good hands. He just wished he could see him. 

Two days later, Sirius wasn’t back. It was now pretty obvious to Regulus that he was not going to be back. Sirius had left . 

Left him. Sirius had left him. 

He couldn’t quite believe it. He had spent five hours last night simply sitting on Sirius’ bed, wishing he was still there. The emotions he was feeling were not quite describable, but if he was in a state where he could think of the words matching these emotions, he’d probably say he felt betrayed, lost, and hurt. Of course, he would never actually say that. Regulus wasn’t one to express his emotions. One thing that Regulus understood was that he felt no form of anger towards his brother. He recognised why Sirius had left, and he thought it was very understandable. What he hated was being left. He was alone in this horrendously big house and he didn’t even have it in him to talk to Pandora about it.

Regulus had never felt comfortable sharing his feelings. He assumed this was due to his parents pushing them away whenever he had tried to tell them anything at all. 

Regulus knew he’d be okay. He didn’t need other people to survive, he never had. 

Three weeks later, Pandora showed up at his bedroom door with a box of chocolates and a mission. She was determined to get him outside and out of the bedroom he was rotting in if it was the last thing she did. Regulus knew he was lucky to have a friend like her, but he wanted nothing more than to sit in his bedroom for the rest of his life. Part of him knew this was unhealthy, but part of him just didn’t want to show his face to the silent house he was residing in. 

Pandora would do anything to make Regulus feel okay, and she was well aware that to do this she would have to take him to Sirius, but they would cross that bridge when the time was right. First, she had to carefully shake him out of his shell of self destruction, reminding him that there were people who cared for him. 

Pandora sat on his bed, looking at him with soft eyes that he avoided at all costs. “Reg… Reg, look at me.” 

He didn’t, but that didn’t stop Pandora from softly cupping his head in her hands. “Regulus, I have been your best friend for five years. I know something’s wrong—and you don’t have to tell me. Just come to my house with me, Merlin knows you need to get out of this house, and Barty and Evan are out. You don’t have to talk to anyone you don’t want to talk to.” 

Now Regulus looked up Ever so slowly, he leaned in to rest his head on his best friend’s shoulders, not speaking but his eyes holding more meaning than his words at this moment possibly could. 

After ten minutes of simply being in each other's presence, Regulus spoke. “Can we get out of this house?” 

Pandora nodded, helping him up. “My house?” 

“I don’t mind.” 

“Would you rather be alone or do you mind seeing everyone else?” 

“Where are they?” 

“I think they’re at Marlene’s house.” 

Regulus was not close to Marlene. He didn’t know much about her, in all honesty, but because her and Dorcas were practically attached by the hip, he assumed that she was nice. And to tell the truth, Regulus needed to see his friends. He paused before muttering. 

“I want to see everyone.” 

“Alright.” 

Much to his relief, the mood of the hangout didn’t change vividly when he arrived. He noticed Barty and Evan shared a soft glance between them, and Dorcas gave him a quick hug that was noticeably more gentle than usual, but the conversation stayed as lively as it had been before he arrived. Regulus allowed himself to lean into Pandora’s side, twirling her long hair between his fingers. She continued talking to Dorcas as her right arm embraced Regulus into her side. Regulus didn’t speak much, but no one expected him to. 

As comforting and grounding as it was, it wasn’t what he needed. Regulus needed reassurance, he needed affirmations that he wasn’t the reason his brother had left. And the only person who could truly give him this confirmation was Sirius himself. He felt guilty about this; Pandora was doing more than she had to do and he couldn’t feel the amount of gratitude he knew he should be feeling. He must have stiffened, because his best friend looked down at him with an amount of gentleness that made him feel alarmingly close to tears. He felt impossibly small, looking down at his hands and fixing his gaze on the golden sun ring he always wore as he tried to regulate his breathing.

Marlene looked at him curiously from where she sat on the dark red couch across the room. She cautiously glanced at Dorcas before speaking. “I know where Sirius is if you want to see him.” That was possibly the most Marlene had ever said to him. Regulus stared at her blankly for a moment, before nodding slowly. 

“Yeah, uh. That sounds nice.” his voice was impossibly weak, and he might have been embarrassed had he had any awareness of himself at this moment. But he felt like a shell of himself, he wasn’t really there. 

“Okay. We probably shouldn’t all go, it might be overwhelming. So–” 

“I’ll come.” Pandora spoke, much to Regulus’ relief. Despite not feeling entirely complete with her affection and care, he appreciated it. It was a kind of foreign concept to him, the genuine adoration she had for him. He had never witnessed that in his family, let alone experienced it himself. He smiled shakily at her and she squeezed his hand reassuringly. 

The trip to find Sirius was quiet, but no one seemed to mind. When they were about halfway there, Regulus’ heart leapt as he had a sudden realisation. They were on their way to James’ house. On second thought, it made sense. James Potter was Sirius’ best friend, he wasn’t sure why he was so alarmed by this fact. When they arrived at the house, Regulus took a deep breath. He was overwhelmed by the emotions of this moment, the concept of seeing Sirius for the first time in two and a half weeks and being back at James’ house was causing his head to spin. He hadn’t seen James in almost a month and it was achingly evident from the heavy feeling in his heart. 

Walking through the door, the first thing he saw was Sirius’ black Doc Martens sitting next to a few pairs of dirty converse beside the doormat. James’ converse. He swallowed. The first thing he heard was Sirius’ voice from a few rooms away, which almost made him do a double take. Marlene walked further into the house after quickly kicking off her red converse, and Regulus followed soon after. Pandora kept her distance behind the two, not wanting to intrude on the moment—this consideration once again reminding Regulus how deeply he loved her. 

Marlene glanced back to make sure Regulus was behind her, smiling gently at him before walking into the Potter’s living room. James looked up instantly, eyes widening a fraction as he took in the boy standing in the doorway. He clearly didn’t think his words through before blurting, “Reg?” 

Sirius stopped talking, whirling around with wide, panicked eyes. “Regulus?” 

Regulus desperately searched in his brother’s eyes for a sign that he could go hug him, that he could say something, that he could walk further into the room. There was a certain element of distress in Regulus’ eyes as he seeked the affirmation he so desperately needed. Sirius seemed to be in shock, and it was clear to James that he would not be affirming his brother’s doubts any time soon. He wanted to, of course he did—James was well aware that Sirius loved Regulus more than anything in his entire world. So James spoke up, saying possibly the most awkward thing he could have said in this situation. 

“Do you want a cup of tea?” 

Regulus seemed to do a double take, but he nodded. He hadn’t considered that in order to make the cup of tea, James would have to leave the room. And James leaving the room meant Regulus and Sirius being the only ones in the room. He was unaware of this fact until James left the room, throwing a sweet, gentle smile over his shoulder. Regulus felt alarmingly alone without him there, his eyes darting from Sirius to the wall to the floor to Sirius again to his hands. He didn’t want to stare; if there was one thing that his parents had succeeded in, it was raising their youngest son with impeccable manners. No matter how good his manners were, his parents had failed to teach him how to deal with his anxiety. He fiddled with his hands, twirling the gold ring on his index finger around slowly for about a minute before finally looking up again. 

This time, Sirius was looking at him too. The older brother seemed to understand that Regulus was not going to be the one to start this conversation, so he sighed and sat down, patting the spot on the couch next to him. Regulus sat, decidedly further away from Sirius than Sirius had gestured for, but Sirius didn’t seem to mind—if he did, he had the decency to stay silent. It would be hypocritical for Sirius to get upset about Regulus not sitting next to him on the couch after leaving him alone with their parents for two and a half weeks. 

“I’m sorry,” Sirius eventually spoke. 

Regulus said nothing, so Sirius shakily continued. “I didn’t want to leave you. It’s just– it just– it was too much. They were too much, you know?”

“They always have been.” Regulus mumbled softly. 

“And they said something about Moony.” 

Of course they did. 

Sirius sighed, “he told me off for leaving you though. Said I should have bought you with me.”

“You should have.” 

“I know.” 

Just as the two brothers fell into an awkward silence, James walked in with a small grin on his face. “Okay, so, I think I remembered pretty well how you like your tea.” 

Sirius looked between the two as James passed Regulus the mug, watching how their fingertips brushed and a smile graced Regulus’ lips. Regulus didn’t like milk or sugar in his tea, something that Sirius had always wrinkled his nose at. James took his tea far sweeter than Reg did, but he was more than happy to make it exactly to Regulus’ tastes if that was what would make him happy. “It’s perfect. I can’t believe you remembered.” 

“How could I not?” 

It was then that Sirius’ eyes fell to their hands, noticing that Regulus’ gold ring was a sun symbol and James wore a silver star one. This was a contrast to both of their usual jewellery colours, the gold earrings in James’ ears suddenly a lot more obvious than they had been minutes ago. Sirius silently watched the interactions between the two and swallowed slowly. 

Sirius had this burning need to be loved, to be appreciated, to be the favourite. Regulus was his parents’ favourite son, and although he acted like this didn’t faze him, it stung. Sirius had introduced Reg to Barty and Evan, and now the three were inseparable. Sirius didn’t even talk to the two Slytherins anymore. Remus loved Regulus, the two had bonded over things that Sirius couldn’t even begin to understand—and he knew it was stupid. He knew that Remus looked at him like he had literally hung the stars, but there was this underlying jealousy of the fact that his brother got along with everyone without even trying. Regulus didn’t want to get along with people, he’d be quite happy spending his days whispering with Pandora and basking in his own company. 

Was Regulus more likeable? More manageable? That had to be it. Sirius was too much for people. Sirius was too much for everyone. 

And now, his best friend was snogging his brother behind his back. It wasn’t that he was bothered by their relationship, he didn’t care who Regulus dated as long as they didn’t hurt him—and James would never hurt him. 

James was, theoretically, perfect for Regulus. They balanced each other out, much like Sirius and Remus. James was the Yang to his Yin, the base to his acid, the light to his dark. And perhaps it was the fact that the two fit together so naturally that bothered him. Perhaps it was the inherent jealousy of Regulus always being better than him at everything. Regulus had Sirius’ best friend looking at him with pure, soft adoration in his eyes, and Sirius couldn’t even deny how much sense they made together. 

In his heart, Sirius knew how much love James had for him. James was one of those people who did not ration out the love and care he gave people, he was overflowing with genuine devotion and love, not hesitating to shower those around him with it. And Sirius knew that the two of them had the strongest friendship he had ever had and likely ever would. He knew it wasn’t going to change. Merlin, with how James gazed at Regulus, Sirius predicted that whatever they had had been going on for at least five months. And those five months had not changed how James had acted with Sirius, their friendship was as codependent as ever. 

Sirius knew that James had enough love for both of them. He knew that the love that James could give was exactly what Regulus needed. Sirius knew that these feelings had been drilled into his mind by how his parents had treated him, but his parents weren’t here now. Sirius knew that this trauma ran deep, however, and it would take a while for him to come to terms with this relationship. 

Regulus could tell from the look in his eyes that he had figured it out. It didn’t bother him, the only reason he and James hadn’t mentioned it to anyone was due to the complications with their families and how difficult it was to actually see each other regularly. Offering a soft smile to Sirius, Regulus leaned into his brother’s side. Sirius froze up for a moment, glancing at James as his eyes widened. James smiled tenderly at the two before getting up and leaving the room to wherever Marlene and Pandora were. 

Slowly, Sirius relaxed, and Regulus almost breathed a sigh of relief. “I missed this.” 

Sirius hummed, “I missed you more than you know, little star .” 

Sighing, Regulus closed his eyes. Sirius may never be the constant in his life he had once been, but as long as he was part of it, Regulus couldn’t complain.

[lewis-winters]

Why is it like I want to protect Dick from Sobel's attempt on court martial against him? I feel like I want to wrap him in a blanket and cuddle him.

Tbh, in the beginning I was feeling the same as you anon. I've been subjected to a power tripping bully boss before, I knew Dick's pain. But when the scene cuts to Sobel's office and the "call for court martial" is revealed to be "taking a punishment (48 hrs pass revoked for 60 days) OR request trial by court martial" and Dick chose the latter, I lost almost all my sympathy. More under cut bc it got long--

Dick Winters totally deserved that-- he REQUESTED it. Not to say Sobel didn't deserve getting his ass handed to him by his own NCOs (he overestimated their fear of him and completely underestimated their love of Dick) for being such a power tripping asshole, but all of that drama could have been avoided if Dick had just decided to keep his mouth shut and taken the punishment. Which, according to Sobel, wasn't anything off Dick's plate; he already spent those weekends he'd've been deprived of on base, anyway! At this point, the only thing at risk was Dick's own pride in his work ethic, and instead of just picking his battles and taking the punishment, he chose to prove a point-- which he DID NOT, at the time, have the capacity to prove, by the way!

Dick risked a lot getting himself court martialed! And though Malarkey speculated that Dick had arranged the NCO mutiny irl (as mentioned in Malarkey's book) we don't know that for sure, and in the show, it certainly wasn't framed that way! Think about the facts: 1) Dick cares about his men, but he's not delusional enough to think: 'oh, they'll risk their own court martialing to save my ass.' He's not entitled enough to expect that of them, either. Meaning Dick requested court martial without knowing if he'd win. 2) What REALLY is the harm of just spending those punishment days on base that Dick would have otherwise spent on base anyway, punishment or not? Literally, that whole scene was just Dick saying "well I was gonna do it, but I think you're being unfair, I don't want to do it now! even if awaiting trial by court martial means I most likely won't jump in Normandy and help protect the men I care about!"

TL;DR - Dick Winters went and chose court martial, without a back-up plan, simply because his pride was wounded.

It was, in hindsight, very stupid. Very brave, and definitely shows us the kind of man he is-- driven by principles and the very strong instinct of fairness and right from wrong-- but it was also very stupid. And risky. You are at WAR Dick, and sooner or later you will be leading your men into a blood bath! Now is not the time for silly ego games!

Think of it this way: he knew how incompetent Sobel was, he knew what would happen if Sobel were to eventually lead Easy, he knew removing himself via court martial meant leaving his men to the mercy of Sobel's mistakes, he KNEW that his trial by court martial would not be completed in time to jump into Normandy with Easy. Dick knew all that, he'd have to have known that, but he still sacrificed it all because he wanted to make a point.

When I think of Dick getting court martialled, my first instinct is to put my head in my hands and remind myself that not even the great Dick Winters is exempt from letting his ego get the best of him. I think a lot of people just miss that because it turned out ok in the end (i.e. Dick was reinstated out of mess + Sobel was sent away + Meehan was given Easy). But for a tense moment there, it very nearly didn't. What would have happened then?

Would fighting for his pride have been worth the lives of his men?

[bendyguitarpick]

I've been watching the avatar series and honestly, I think this warrants a bullet points review bc I have a lot of opinions, and some are unexpected. I haven't been following a y discourse online about the show bc I wanted to form my own opinions before I finished it! This is episodes 1 through 5.

Right off the bat in episode 1, the first thing that strikes me as a huuuge issue is that Aang does not argue with monk gyatso before running away. It's a problem that keeps coming up in this show, and its that all the conflict is deflated from the characters and given to the plot. Instead of a young character making a mistake and learning from the end result, our protagonists just respond in a way that's removes any of their decision making from the driving force of the story. Aang didn't run from his responsibility out of fear, he just needed to clear his head!- our sweet baby boy remains the moral compass!

That being said, I do think the rearranging of the plot in thr first episode is absolutely the right move for the show. The pace is immediately set and it works.

The visuals (costume and set design) feel very very shiny and new, like how all netflix shows end up looking, overly saturated and costumey.

The casting for aang and zuko is one of my favorite things EVER. They are probably the most competent actors so far tbh. That little boy is giving it his all 🥲

Sokka and suki!!! Another instance where all the conflict and resolution feels unearned because there was nothing to resolve! Fine, you can choose to remove the sexism arc, at its center, this sokka and suki introduction is about sokka developing a level of humility that he will need in order to learn from the people we see him meet on this journey. Sokka comes in in the live action show a clueless small town warrior who gets shown the ropes on the big stage, but for what? We see suki chew him out but because there's no real conflict, he's just some shmuck getting chewed out for no real reason other than not knowing enough. It's completely hollow.

Ok this leads me to the fight scenes. They're bad! The only one that I liked was Bumi and aang, we had sustained wide shots, a creative use of bending, and the actors movements feeling well rehearsed. The opposite was the case for nearly every other fight smh.

Katara my beloved 😭 she is shockingly underwritten and I'm trying to figure out why. She gets so little active screentime that isn't just parroting the plot back to aang and sokka. All her passion and life is dead flat. I was praying they'd give her her painted lady momentand it never came, she never had a moment. It's such a huge fuck up to leave one of your three LEADS out to dry like that.

That being said, I had my little fangirl squee when jet and the freedom fighters were revealed. The casting just had me absolutely giddy 😭

And that's just katara compared to everyone else! Because at the end of the day this is the most poorly written dialogue I've seen in a show in so freaking long. It is written so stilted and klunky, and the actors are given so little direction, the end result is so dry and lifeless. It is honestly the single worst part of the show.

Our characters are no longer active decision makers in each town they visit! The plot is just happening to them! It's an extention of that conflict criticism, our heroes don't have anything to learn, they're just along for the ride! No opinions or conflict here!!

But... the one thing that absolutely is working for me... is the story. All the plot changes have been the right move every time. Combining episodes has worked so well in this short season format that it's kept me following along every time! Putting like four episodes into one omashu episode??? And having them connect in a way that makes sense??? Ik completely impressed

So far, it seems like awkward dialogue and overly shiny visuals has bogged down a show that really really could've worked in the live action format! The plot has still succeeded in keeping me engaged for the hour run time of each episode, along with the really great aang and zuko moments.

[undead-potatoes]

So! Tell me about Aurora! Did they have a life before the Urge came calling? How has their journey been through the game? Are they romancing anybody or do they have any other significant bonds?

I hope you don't mind, but I decided to split this into two posts. You asked about her journey through the game, and suddenly I had written 1400 words that didn't fit with the rest. So uuh yeah, here's the first and the last question at least!

I'm still a little unsure about her life before the Urge. There's the few "canon" things we're given through bits of dialogue (like murdering their parents as a child), but I honestly don't tend to get too caught up in canon if I want to do something different.

She had a lot of nightmares as a child (thanks dad), and it made her a very skittish and nervous child. In combination with minor Urges which made her say and sometimes do off-putting shit, I imagine she wasn't exactly a social butterfly. Like once she probably bit someone when the Urge overtook her, but bc they were baby urges and she was like 6-years-old it didn't really do much but alienate her.

But I think she was otherwise a good kid, doing her best and loved by her adoptive parents, even if they probably worried about her a lot.

I kinda like the idea of her being slightly older, someone who briefly escaped her heritage due to Bhaal's death before he returned in full, and the Urge became too strong to ignore. To have the Urge hovering around in the background her entire life, but always being able to repress it, until she suddenly couldn't.

Idk there's just something to the tragedy of being so close to escaping your predestined fate, when in reality it was always going to end like that, on way or another. You never truly escaped anything, you simply just delayed the inevitable.

She could still have murdered her family, still living with her adoptive parents and possible siblings, or maybe she had her own family by then. Either way, Bhaal would have wanted them out of the way.

The Urge building and building, sending her flip-flopping between moments of bloodlust and lucidity filled with fear, until the Urge took her away completely.

(Would the Urge even work like that for any of this? Who cares, just gonna do as Larian does, my city now).

TL;DR: I don't even know, it's still stewing in there.

- - -

Though I've watched like every Durge related video on YouTube, I haven't actually played very far in Aurora's playthrough, mostly bc I'm waiting for Larian to stop breaking the game with every new patch 🙈

Meaning I haven't actually had a lot of time with her interacting with the companions and gotten a good feel for where they're at.

Wyll and Shadowheart are possible candidates for some at least surface level boding. Like Wyll's whole "self sacrifice for the good of others" thing, and with Shadowheart they both have been brainwashed and forced into cruelty in service of an evil god.

And Karlach bc I love her and I said so.

Maybe some more interesting dynamics will pop up once I really get in there with her 🤔 (Larian fix your shit already, I want to plaaay)

There's also Jay who's already wrangling every other companion and their problems, so I'm sure he'll have some fingers in her pies too eventually (it's what he does, after all).

-

The only solid relationship to have formed in my head as of yet is her romance, and bc I'm as original as a pair of earbuds from AliExpress, she eventually starts a thing with Astarion.

He initially sees her as an easy target, a shy and possibly meek person quite literally removed from the others at camp (a deliberate choice on her part), but it doesn't go quite as he had planned.

I've written a whole post about it that's hanging out in my drafts, but tl;dr: he tries to bite her, but she wakes and angrily sends him away. She later comes to him one night, panicked after the Murder At Camp™, and he (begrudgingly) agrees to help her with the body. This begins this weird partnership where they keep each other's secret, and she lets him drink from her as thanks for helping her.

Their relationship is a bit rocky at first, like they don't hate each other or anything, but there's a fair share of bickering and such. She can be a bit blunt, and is too impatient and exhausted from the urge to deal with his very obvious mind games, tiredly telling him "stop trying to seduce me, you already have what you came for".

When he offers to sleep with her at the party, she thinks "why not". They're already putting each other at risk, so might as well have some fun with it. He might have tried to bed her sooner if she hadn't been so blunt and unapproachable, but it did also give him some time to rethink his strategy. Based on finds with the freecam during his party sex scene, he has set up a lil spot on a blanket, with wine and maybe some food, in an attempt to seem more genuine, which admittedly she does find a little cute.

Ultimately it's all the bits in between, the quiet moments after feeding or sex that gives them an excuse to talk, and they realize they enjoy each other's company a lot more than they first thought. She vibes with him a lot more when he's being genuine, something she sees more of when he's fed and generally less guarded.

She've kept her distance from the others bc of the urge, in fear of either harming someone, or being discovered through the tadpoles somehow. It puts her on edge constantly, but Astarion already knows, and she knows he doesn't judge her for it, so she's more at ease too.

Aurora can become ride or die pretty fast, especially in combination with other intense personality traits (hello devotion), and I think maybe Astarion picks up on that and thinks he can use that to his advantage. At least until he too accidentally catches feelings and becomes pretty ride or die himself lmao. Great job idiot.

Which is also when her more self sacrificing nature goes from something that could be to his advantage, to something that actively upsets him. Stop it! Stop sacrificing yourself for others who probably don't even deserve it! Stop putting yourself in situations that could take you away from me for no good reason.

They're note super lovey-dovey either. Like sure there's romance and tenderness there, but there's also some clash of personalities ("stop being an asshole" "stop trying to be such a bloody hero"). Nothing too bad but there's definitively something for them to work on.

This became the Aurora and Astarion post, sorry about that (not really). I hope to have some better answers to these in the future, my brain is still cooking (unfortunately it's a slowcooker).

[roobylavender]

What do you think about the live disney princess movies? Like the beauty and the beast could’ve used separate actors for visual acting and the singing, Emma Watson was a bit dodgy idk. The music is toned down in the live action versions either by removing the songs or just being poorly done. Listening to some clips of the little mermaid 😘 hopefully I get around to seeing whole thing.

so when i was watching the live action beauty and the beast and lamenting the horrible music choices i had a mutual who actually linked me this video essay talking about live action disney's music choices in general and it was quite revealing, i highly recommend it. as for how i felt about the movie on a personal level.. i despised it lol. i think in my thread for rewatching all of these princess movies it took up the most space bc i had so many complaints 😭 here are a few summarized lol:

why i think the drop-off in disney live actions occurs after maleficent and cinderella is bc of the fact that these two were not originally musical movies. there were far less constraints present by which disney had to orient the original character arcs, and it gave the writers room to take the stories where they wanted to. the disney live actions after don't have this luxury bc almost all of them are based on films that were movie musicals in the first place. so you're essentially recreating a film almost letter for letter, while nonetheless trying to push it beyond those constraints, and it overall makes for a product that feels very.. awkward. not to mention the live action's music simply does not compare to the original's in any way, like adapting one of disney's best soundtracks ever was already going to be a hassle but they somehow managed to plummet even further below expectations with the end product

in that vein, i think what the live action beauty and the beast really suffers from is being both underwritten and overwritten. it's not willing to expand on the movie's original canon and instead creates new canon where it's not even necessary. for example: the live action cinderella expands on lady tremaine's cruelty and gives it a basis rather than making her into a randomly evil figure. comparatively, the live action beauty and the beast introduces lore as to how belle and the beast's mothers died and it's just.. not needed at all? they don't bond with each other over tragedy. they bond with each other over being outcasts who are misunderstood.

the live action also strips the original movie of all of its fun. there's no scene with belle's father chancing upon a moment of explosive genius, no maneuvering gaston out of the house into a pig puddle while the wedding band unceremoniously breaks into song. it's so lifeless as a movie bc there's only so much it can translate to a live action medium. this also applies to so much of the line delivery, which hardly feels theatrical anymore

the beast.. i'm so upset over how they revamped his character. there's so much deliberation and built up suspense in his original introduction to both maurice and belle that is simply lost in the adaptation. the beast's not an aggressor from the start, he prowls, he approaches slowly, bc he recognizes that he is viewed by others as a monster, bc he anticipates the rejection and fear. he's not actually an animal at heart in the original. he's the one who offers her a room, he's skeptical but quietly hopeful she might join him for dinner. the frustration only comes after bc it's paired with the despair and desperation of knowing that he may live like this forever. the live action carries none of that nuance. it paints him as an aggressor, as someone who doesn't even Want to treat her as anything more than a prisoner, and is forced into placating her by his servants. it completely fails to understand the beast wanted to break the spell, but he felt hopeless as to how

i respect that emma watson is a feminist but that really did not call for altering the entire script of a movie that was already fine and feminist in its own right lol.. like if i wanted to watch a movie about a man learning that it's not girly and cringe to read romeo and juliet i would peruse romance book twt like it was an entertainment channel. the beast's problem originally was that he had spent so long living as a beast he forgot how to live as a human. he forgot how to read bc in his mind no beast needs to learn how to read. to turn that portrayal of insecurity and shame into something about him not respecting shakespeare was just.. utterly stupid? and condescending?

all of this to say i wasn't really a fan of any of the live actions after maleficent and cinderella lol like obv each movie has its unique issues but they are in the same vein as this one's. except, lo and behold, the hype for the little mermaid was so highly anticipated ig that they decided to learn sense and actually put substantial effort into it. i really think it's the best live action disney adaptation thus far, there are so many things about it i love, not least of all the actually sensible feminist changes to the original script as compared to how beauty and the beast tried to recreate something as "feminist" that was already feminist in the first place. like there's no doubt about it, the original the little mermaid is very largely framed around ariel's desire to be with eric. but without giving away too many spoilers, the live action does such a marvelous job at reframing ariel's desire as one for the world, and in a way that really emphasizes on her conflict with triton. i do have a few minor complaints of the film but as a whole it's a really well done revamp that takes an originally very daring female protagonist and fleshes her out even more in the best way possible. eric is also given way more agency and personality so it really feels like you're watching the development of a romance between equals. i am absolutely sure you'll enjoy it when you watch it!

[usertala]

temporary

ask: Do you do angst? If not ignore!I’m up to the part where Luci has amnesia and they’re talking about separating the pacts, brothers are comforting MC saying they won’t feel any different…Imagine if the pacts were separated and while the brothers still see MC as family, the MC doesn’t. The MCs emotions were completely bc of the packs and without them they’re afraid/don’t like the brothers

afton notes: hi anon! im sorry i couldn't really write it the way you wanted. I kept writing and re-writing it as it wasn't that good, so it ended up as MC saying their goodbye's to the brothers as the MC knows their feelings would vanish as soon as the packs are removed. This is what I've decided on as we're at the same part (i can't play it rn my cards are too weak)

Characters: Lucifer, Mammon, Leviathan, Satan

Genre: Angst, hurt/comfort (?)

Lucifer

As you softly clutched Lucifer's hand, you could feel your tears pouring down your cheeks. Since Barbatos had put him to sleep, he hadn't awoken. Everyone else is undoubtedly sound sleeping by now, so no one could enter his room for the time being.

"I hated you at first, you know? I hated the way you handled things, how you punished your brothers, and how you treated me at first. I never imagined things would turn out this way in my life... I love you, Lucifer. I hope you continue to love me. I'm confident the moment you open your eyes, it'll be me who won't remember anything. I hope you'll be patient with me, as I was with you. I love you, darling." You lay down next to him. One last time, basked in his warmth.

Mammon

You feel like you're about to faint from how much you're crying, not to mention Mammon's tight hug. Out of all the brothers, he was the one who protested about breaking the pacts, and you couldn't help but feel thankful to him.

You cry as you try your best to talk, "Y-you have to be by my side, Mammon. Don't leave me, please. I love you, don't leave me... You won't leave me, right?" You look up from his chest just to see him crying just as much as you, "O-of course! I'm your first man- fucking hell, I don't want you to forget me, MC! We've been through so much together. I don't want you to forget those memories! But I promise, I'll stay by your side. Screw those memories! We'll make new and better ones!"

Leviathan

As much as you want to breakdown and tell him all your fears, you know it would be a bad idea. You settle for a bittersweet smile. The process hasn't even started, and yet he can't even look at your eyes. What

"W-what if when you forget me, you'll realize how much of a worthless shut-in otaku I am? What if you change your mind and don't want to be in a relationship anymore? What would I do then, MC?" He starts crying, holding his tail like a security blanket. "That won't ever happen, Levi. I may lose my memories, but I'll still be the same MC you fell in love with. Amnesia or not, I'll always find my way back to you. "

Satan

He feels like destroying his entire room, a room full of worthless books to help your case. He feels his heart sink when you quietly enter his room. You had a smile on your face, but your eyes looked like you wanted to run into his arms and cry.

"So, I'll forget everything, huh? How awful..." The dam finally breaks as you fall onto the floor crying, Satan immediately stands up to comfort you, letting out a bittersweet laugh. "Who could've imagined I'd be balling my eyes out because of a demon? A demon I fell hopelessly in love with... Do you feel the same way?" Feeling him nod, you continue, "I'm not that concerned about forgetting everything... I'm heartbroken that we have to start back at step one. I can't imagine how hurt you'll be, Satan. I'm so sorry."

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[verobatto]

Destiel Chronicles

Vol. CX

It was a love story from the very beginning.

The Destiel Reunion after the Possession

(14x03)

Hi there! Another volume from season 14, this time this meta will be Dean centric because season 14 was plenty Dean centric. And episode 3 showed us the demage Michael left on Dean. It also talked about the Destiel reunion after the Possession.

As I said in my previous volume, season 14 is the one I started writing meta, so this will be a resume of it and some new addition in retrospective.

You can find my two metas about 14x03 here and here.

The after Possession damage

I remember when I saw Dean in this episode 'The Scar's it was as if I was looking a semiology book of Psychiatry.

First of all because Dean was acting erratic, anxious, always in alert.

"I've never seen Dean in so bad shape. The anxiety was evidently exposed, and the partial lost of memories and the flahsbacks (...) he's weak, as Kaia noticed, mentally weak... "

I wrote this in one of my metas, and as I said in the previous volume, we will have here another reading of Dean's thoughts. This time by Kaia.

(Remember this is the episode in which Dean asks willingly to Castiel to get inside his head. Subtextually, to Dean, Castiel is the only one he allows to go deep inside his thoughts. It's based in trust and love.)

But let's check AU!Kaia and Dean dialogue:

Kaia: You’re no different from him. Threats, violence anything to get what you want.

Dean: I am nothing like him.

Kaia is reading Dean's fears here. Treating him like an angry killer. All his toxicity is exposed at Kaia's reading.

Kaia: Yeah you are: you always have been!

(...)

Sam: Wait a second: you’re a dreamwalker, too? Your powers, they connected you.

Kaia: Our whole lives, what she saw, I saw. I know where it comes from your anger, your impatience: it's fear. You’re scared and you’re weak

The fact that this while scene was linked to the scene in which Jack and CAS discovered how to save a young girl from a spell. Graphically releasing her by breaking an amulet, is foreshadowing Dean self release from his second Possession. Kaia saying 'what she saw I saw' is practically giving a clue about Michael spying them through Dean's eyes.

So anxiety and depression cohabitate in Dean after Possession.

"Did you see how Dean was like running all the time? He didn't listen to Sam or Jody, he needed to do things quickly. Running here, there, it doesn't matter, bc he was running from himself, and to find and kill Michael was just an excuse."

That was the image of Dean I got from this episode. Then, this dialogue in the car whit Sam in which he describes how it was to be possesed.

He mentions "drowning" that was his desperate battle to conquer his own thoughts and own body. We'll have a lot of recallings to this word throughout the season 14, a lot of monsters representing AU!Michael and his own toxicity trying to drowning him.

Gif set credit @itsokaysammy

Purity and Purge

Before jumping into my idea of what it meant that cold reunion (cold because it didn't have a hug) I wanna talk a little more about how Michael brought the Purgatory into season 14 as a prelude to episode 15x09, but mostly, as a symbolic representation of what being posseses meant to Dean too.

"I was expecting Michael to be the new Purgatory exposure in this season, an opportunity for Dean to bring back the purity from his heart, as he did in Purgatory, the place where he realized he was in love of his best friend.. (sighing)."

This definitely happened and had his conclusion in season 15 with 15x09.

But, the purity of the heart Dean will expose throughout this season wasn't the purity Michael wanted to bring to Earth.

"We could confuse purity with basic Instincts when we talk about monsters. Bc basic Instincts are pure, indeed, there's no contamination in what the monsters wants: hunt, eat, survive. Like animals."

This is directly related to the idea of PURGE Michael wanted for the world. And it also was showed in Dean's behavior in the woods when he was searching for Michael. Basics instincts an animal would use to find his prey. Dean was in basic hunter mode.

The Destiel Reunion

The Destieo reunion had a bittersweet taste.

First of all, when Castiel arrived to the scene, a dramatic music started to play. This is usually used to point out at a romantic couple playing the scene. And because it was specifically played when Castiel arrived and Dean and him exchanged weird looks, it's obvious it was there to show the audience HELLO, THIS IS A REUNION OF LOVERS.

Gif set @jacktwistfan

Until now, everything was sweet, Dean is really happy to see Castiel. He looks as if he was breathing for the first time. His face is showing relief and his heart eyesbfor the angel are out of control. 'There you are. The love of my life.'

And Cas, well, remember when I said he was more emotional?

He smiles at him. Like... Very happy but then... Dean's face turned into... Recrimination.

Cas: I’m sorry. I wanted to be there, but we feared that Michael would sense my presence.

Dean: Sam told me. Ain’t no thing.

Gif set credit @cath-avery

Dean is mad at Cas, because Castiel didn't go to rescue him. Even knowing it could be bad for the plan, deep inside , Dean wanted to see CAS in that barn. That's why their looks. Castiel csn see this perfectly. He even explains this to him. I didn't want to see this but then in episode 14x04 (the next meta) I will explain why Dean was feeling sad, one of the causes was he was feeling Castiel didn't pay attention to him. The 'jealousy' starts to burn (yes, Dean was kind of jealouse of Jack because Castiel spends now more time with him) and this will end up with their break up at the end of the season when Jack will be the one killing Mary accidentally.

Dean being mad with Cas could be the cause of why we didn't have a hug. But also, because Dean felt dirty and ashamed, his mind had been ripped by Michael. Maybe he felt too dirt to go Cas a hug.

Now... Let's jump to the sexual innuendo scene...

There's a huge parallel between this episode and 4x01 in which Dean realized he had a hand print on his left shoulder. Here, Dean noticed the scar in his right shoulder and uncovered in the same way he did in 4x01. I called this Michael's mark vs Destiel mark. And is a blatant representation of why Michael couldn't possesed Dean's vessel completely. And mostly because the scar looked like two phalanxes. As if it was trying to complete a handprint. But he couldn't, because Dean is already taken by Castiel. If this is not romantic trope, I don't know how to call it.

And now... Dean asking Castiel to get inside his head, as an act of trust, marking a foreshadow for 14x10, when Castiel and Sam will enter in his mind.

Dean: Cas, c’mon hit me.

But this will end up being a scene with sexual innuendo, mostly because Misha and Jensen acting choices...

Gif credit @faramaiofnerdwoodforest

Dean's face if one of whom just had the orgasm of his life. His face after realize the sensation that that intrusion by Castiel had made him feel is showing he is aware they just had had an experience. It was OBVIOUSLY very exciting. He even tries to compose himself a little, feeling ashamed, but collecting his hands together towards his own chest. His left eyelid drops a little, just after experienced a very amount of... well... Sensations. It looks as if Dean ejaculated after having great sex with his angel.

This was fanservice, thank you Lord Berens.

To Conclude:

This episode showed us a very bittersweet Destieo reunion. I infer it was because Dean was mad at CAS for not being in the barn to rescue him.

It also had a Destiel sex scene, their first time... 🤣

But it spoke too about the amount of psychiatric damage AUMichsel left on Dean.

Hope you liked this meta, see you in the next one.

Tagging @gneisscastiel @emblue-sparks @magnificent-winged-beast @weird-dorky-little-d @michyribeiro @maleansu @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @dea-stiel @mybonsai1976 @anarchiana @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @mishtho @dancingtuesdaymorning @feathered-castiel @bre95611 @zoerayne2426 @justmeand-myinsight @that-one-fandom-chick @proccastinate @studio-hatter @pepevons @poorreputation @mrsaquaman187 @dizzypinwheel @jawnlockwinchester @dwstiel @ladygon @shippsblog @la-random-fangirl @lets-try-this-again-please @mychemicalobsession514 @destiel-shipper-11

@shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @mishtho @dancingtuesdaymorning @nerditoutwithbooks @mikennacac73 @justmeand-myinsight @idontwantpeopletoknowmyname @teddybeardoctor @pepevons @helevetica @dizzypinwheel @horsez2002 @qanelyytha

@destielle @spnsmile @shippsblog @robot-feels @superlock-in-the-tardis @superduckbatrebel @belacoded @madronasky @anon-non2 @cea1996 @lisafu02 @asphodelesauvage @deancasgirl777

If you wanna be added or removed from this list just let me know.

If you wanna read the previous metas from season 14 here you have the link: CIX

Buenos Aires, April 25th 2021 4:25 PM

[imma-potatoo]

Blond Janus Darkside Headcanons

I noticed how I haven't written down any info on the dark sides (Wrath, Apathy, Depression, Remus and pre-AA Virgil). More will be added.

Masterpost

Taglist:

@mother-snake, @writerstrashbin, @psychedelicships, @cryptidwriterdotcom (ask to be removed or added)

Wrath

Leader of the dark sides

Can induce a blind rage

When the rage is happening the recipient cannot control what they say or do and react simply on their first thought

The rage becomes stronger the more angry the person becomes

Wrath can't bring someone out of the rage. He can induce it but the person has to come out of it themselves

He has almost no control of Apathy because of that due to his lack of emotion

Likes to wear a partial suit. Finds that the coat is restricting and makes more complex movements hard

Still owns the coat. Just never wears it.

Symbol is tattooed on his left wrist

Orange and black color scheme. Like this:

Immediate reaction to almost anything is to yell.

Loves huge parties

If he's going to make a point, he makes it loud and clear. Often in front of other people so they can see what happens if you step out of line

Rules the dark sides more like a dictatorship then a family or of equel footing

Believes that they have to bend Thomas to their will and that the light sides are complete fools who will only destroy Thomas life

Wants Thomas to take what he wants and not to worry about who he leaves behind

If Thomas has to kill a politician to get what he wants? Sure go ahead. As long as he gets what he wants

When angry, Wrath is ruthless

He'll take your deepest fear and taunt you with it until you snap under the strain and comply to his every whim

He refuses to take no for an answer

Because of his hatred for the lights; he takes it out on Janus

He's big on public humiliation

If Janus would step out of line; well, he doesn't need all of those scales does he? He's sure Apathy would love to see the reactions if you rip some off

To aid in the control of the others; Wrath has complete control over the food supply

When the others are listening and followings orders. Good, they get to eat properly

When they don't? Your options are moldy bread or cheese that has been out in the open for about a month.

Him and Apathy eat like kings while the others decide between food poisoning and starvation

Likes to take words of affection and make them have a negative meaning (ex: the word Love.) after beating the hell out of someone, he would make them look directly in his eyes and says that he loves them... And he makes them say it back

He hates it when the others cry

Says that they're doing it for attention and that they should shut the fuck up

Apathy

Second in command

Can nullify peoples emotions. Leaving them feeling like an empty shell. The effects normally break after an hour

If Apathy knows your name he can control you like a puppet

White and black outfit. White shirt with black suspenders and pants.

Doesn't show where he keeps his symbol (its on his right ankle, its more like a tattoo then a patch)

Has a deep obsession with fire

Owns a zippo (a lighter that flips open)

Often feels empty due to his function. The fire makes him feel warm, feel more human (as human as the sides can be anyway)

Doesn't quite understand emotion. He understands the basics of it (cry = sad, laugh = hqppy, yell = angry.) but the more complex reactions confuse the hell out of him. Crying out of happiness is one of the things he will never understand.

Because of his lack of understanding of emotions; Apathy tries to understand through making others feel said emotions

Wants to know how someone would react when you break a precious item? Time to find a couple photos.

Will someone scream when you waterboard them? Hm well, only one way to test that.

Opinions change like a flip of a switch

One day he'll help you make dinner with a plastered on smile. The next he'll knock you out and burn you with his lighter with that same smile

Has only properly laughed twice

The first time was when Thomas accidentally laughed at someones funeral (he couldn't cope that the person was gone and his default reaction was to laugh)

The second was after the three of them (wrath, depression and him) shut off the heating to Janus' room and locked him inside

In order to understand things he doesn't know; he does experiments

He's not allowed to experiment on Wrath and Depression has no fun reactions. So he has his fun with Janus instead

Kinda likes it when blood stains his dress shirt

Because its warm. The warmth that once came from the person now belongs to him and it eases the cold empty feeling only slighty and temporary but its warm

He's indifferent on the lights. They're a little too perky for his tastes

Depression

Third in command

Doesn't really get a lot of say with decisions

Can erase certain memories (he doesn't use it very often)

Wears a medium blue dress shirt, brown leather suspenders with a black bowtie.

Normally keeps his sleeve rolled up

When crying; his eyes leak black

If the tears hit your skin, its a 10% chance that you could collapse and start spewing your insecurities while your eyes leak black

Symbol is on the back of his neck

Doesn't really mind not having the control that Apathy and Wrath have

Less work for him to do anyway

Couldn't care about the other twos blatant abuse of Janus

He sees it as a way to keep Janus in line

If Virgil wanted to play father figure he can go ahead. But that doesn't mean he has to be kind

Respects and looks up to Wrath

Normally just follows the lead of the others

He's the epitome of the duckling following the leader

Wrath has steak and potatoes for dinner? Depression also wants that too

Wrath says that they need to bend Thomas to their will? Well duh! Of course!

Wrath says that Janus has been out of line lately? Well why don't we break his leg again to show him a lesson

Most of the time, the food restrictions have no effect on him bc he listens to Wraths every word

Virgil

Was the second in command before he left

Opposed Wrath on his more extreme tactics

Has the ability to control shadows and others own Anxiety

Hated the dress code that Wrath insists on having. What kind of person wears suspenders and a dress shirt daily anyway?

Still wears the stupid things anyway because Wrath said to and he's not in the mood to get beat

Symbol is tattooed on underneath his shirt. The left side

After adopting Janus he lost his position as Wrath's right hand

Kinda pissed him off when he got demoted. Not bc of the loss of power. But bc he couldn't protect Janus as well

After adopting Janus he became the 4th in power (after Depression)

Remus

Is the epitome of don't give a shit

He has the power to conjure things and cause intrusive thoughts

Half the time he ignores the dress code completely

Typically opting for his normal clothes but does own a uniform as well

(if anyone has a better photo of this outfit pls pls pls DM me. I've looked through hundreds of photos and this is the best dark green dress shirt with suspenders I got)

Symbol is tattooed on the swell of his back

Gets practically no opinion on dealings or decisions with plans

Remus is a indifferent party. One moment he'll help you. The next he'll stab you in the back

He mostly just works with who can give him what he wants the fastest

He actually feels pity for Janus

Not like he'll ever act on that but he still feels a bit bad for the guy

Remus is kinda like that uncle at family get togethers that no-one talks to or cares about but he's always there

Janus

Oh boy, where to start?

Has the lowest rank out of every other side

His power (the ability to make people unable to talk) can only be used on the light side of the mind

He is also unable to heal immediately on the dark side

Meaning that he has to treat his wounds the old fashioned way

Doesn't really like the dress code

Only gets to wear his normal outfit when he's visting the light sides

Blond hair (wow! Really? Not like its the the name of the au!!)

His patch isn't a tattoo

This boi has the biggest fucking sweet tooth you could ever imagine

He is also so fucking short

His shoes have lifts to make him taller

He's cold blooded

When he gets focused, he bleps

This is turning fluffy-

He is literally covered head to toe in scars

Almost no skin was left untouched

Lying is a defense mechanism for him. He's deceit! He can lie his way out of anything!

Heavily disagrees on Wraths views

Thomas should get ahead, of course he should. But that shouldn't come at the price of someones life or the cost of his reputation

Hurting someone to get ahead in the short-term is only going to harm you in the long term

To hide the bruses, he applies thick layers of makeup and illusions if he's on the light side

Hasn't gotten a good sleep in years

He's terrified that someone will break into in bedroom while he's sleeping and finish him off

Or that they'll cut the heating again and he'll slowly freeze to death

Or that they'll drag him out of his room and chain him up somewhere to become nothing but a punching bag

He has agoraphobia (fear of open spaces)

Hasn't had positive touch since Virgil left

He has venom. Its very lethal and only activates when threatened

When angry, his eyes glow yellow and his canine teeth grow sharp and long that they stick out of his mouth slightly like fangs

Was meant to be a light side and function as Validity and Societal Self Preservation. But the dark sides found him first and brought him back with them

Virgil is his father figure

Doesn't really know how to feel after finding out that he's not a dark side

He does feel really really lied to and betrayed

But... Virgil is his dad. Virgil raised him

How could he be upset?

Writes down all of his thoughts and complaints in journals that he keeps in his room

He started writing journals when he was very young, so there is hundreds of them

Honestly doesn't know how to feel about him being a light side.

He's mad at Wrath. He knows that. But he can't do anything because his powers don't work on the dark side

He might as well be powerless.

When on the light side (so when all his powers work) his powers include: silencing others, the ability to repress sides/ make them unable to appear to Thomas and illusions.

His title is technically Validity with the added function of societal self preservation

Still goes by Deceit anyway

----

Has three brands burned onto him via Apathy

Is on his left ankle. Its his snake symbol. About the size of your fist

On his right bicep. The word "monster" in bolded writing. About two fingers in thickness.

Left chest, above his heart. The words "Property of the Dark Sides" in cursive text. The writing sits in a box.

All the brands are extremely painful for Janus if touched. Brand #3 is the brand he hates the most

His scales are more in patches then a perfect 50/50 split down his body

More will be added in the future.

[gayregis]

ok i'm actually worried that the hansa won't be in the show at all. like everyone in the hansa has very specific roles and relationships with each other and they've already really changed cahir and dandelion and geralt and i don't think they're going to put in the effort or even can reverse all the changes that they made.

i dont think theyre going to be in the show, and i think thats a good thing... i do not want to see people shipping cahir x milva milva x regis regis x cahir geralt x cahir cahir x angouleme jaskier x cahir x milva x jaskier x geralt x angouleme. if someone even looks at the hansa weirdly, i’ll just throw a fit. we’ve already got people shipping jaskier x yennefer and that is fucking Enough that i’ve ever seen from any fandom... i know that they have no qualms with shipping anyone together, no matter what kind of relationship they have in canon, and i do not want to see any of it. i know the hansa will not be a family to them and instead just be an opportunity to make some ridiculous and god-awful ships for fun, and then i will have to see every single post that is made about them because i’m already being forced to see every single geraskier post out there.

i also don’t want to see netflix cahir ever again since he is not worthy of the name cahir mawr dyffryn aep ceallach, and also joey does his best and acts well but the writing for jaskier is incredibly out of character and terrible, and this geralt is not worthy to have ANY friends or company because he’s an all-around jerk.

i literally just don’t want to watch anything having to do with farren-cahir or cavill-geralt because they’re just literally not anything like the characters they are in the books, not even a shadow of their former selves. cahir is an imperialist maniac who’s in his 30s and not a youth who’s been indoctrinated into the military due to societal and familial pressure from a young age. geralt isn’t a good person at heart who’s been forced to withdraw from society and live on its fringes since people fear him due to prejudice. they did a little better with jaskier, but it’s only because joey put effort into combating the bad writing imo, it’s mostly his performance that makes me feel like this jaskier is jaskier-y, the writing completely removed why he’s important to geralt and how he acts generally, how he’s arrogant, how he’s a scoundrel, how he’s an artist...

based upon how the series represents women, i do not trust them to handle milva’s characterization or arc, especially because of how they handled yennefer’s infertility... they would just make her an angry woman and then angry because she was pregnant... they would make her arc just fucking bizarre like they did with yennefer’s, give her absolutely no depth beyond feeling slighted and pissed off all the time, without ever examining why she might feel pissed off at geralt for not taking her advice and being a damned fool

and based upon how the series represents or lacks representing how monsters are supposed to be treated (like... it literally begins with geralt slaughtering the kikimore without a second thought, torque got none of his characterization, borch got none of his characterization, dudu is not even there bc they skipped eternal flame) and also really misrepresented how geralt interacts with post-conjunction creatures in general and also the male peers important to him in his life, i don’t trust them to do regis. i will watch the episode that adapts a grain of truth during the next season to see how they handle vereena, and thus vampires in general, but i don’t believe that it is going to be good... they’ve already sexed so many things unnecessarily up, i have a feeling that they’re going to sex vereena up and the thought makes me upset.

but yeah i mean can you even imagine netflix trying to tackle the nuance that milva and regis have as characters. not even their nuance but the messages that they carry. and explaining why they are like how they are... i mean they couldnt explain geralt and yennefer and ciri, yennefer i might be persuaded to understand a little because she’s incredibly complex, but really how hard is it for them to give depth on their very main characters and say that they are traumatized and because of that they have difficulties with forming relationships

i would hope they would get cancelled before they reach tower of the swallow, but if they do do angouleme they’d likely age her up and also give her heavy makeup and just generally ruin her character by making her less scampy and scrappy, make her more into a “proper girl” like they did with ciri, they didn’t even let ciri be a kid and have funny moments, how can angouleme be funny if ciri wasn’t even allowed to be funny...

tldr: netflix ruins any nuance and kindness in the witcher’s characters, if they come near the hansa i’ll begin to bark like a rabid dog

[disasterdeacy]

Forbidden Fruit Part 2 Teaser

A/N: here’s the teaser for part 2 of Forbidden Fruit! The book Y/N is reading from is “Lady Chatterly’s Lover” and it’s... spicy.

Warnings: 18+, Infidelity, Age Gap, No Keep Reading bc Mobile Sucks and I’m currently at LAX, also not edited or formatted bc again, I’m at LAX.

"Read to me, if you don't mind"

Brian's words are as soft and gentle as his eyes, making Y/N blush harder than she had the night before.

There was just something so intimate about the way he was sitting with her, arm loose around her shoulder, head nearly leaning against her's.

She couldn't help but let out a little laugh at his eagerness, her heart fluttering like the hummingbird that had been keeping her company all morning.

"Are you sure? You might find this kind of book a little boring."

She's teasing, knowing that the paragraph she was about to start reading was anything but boring.

His laugh mingles perfectly with the calls of a morning bird, making Y/N's blush deepen as he places a delicate kiss to her shoulder blade, voice warm and teasing when he speaks.

"If I'm not mistaken, this little book was banned for obscenity and indecency for 30 years darling..."

His lips are suddenly less sweet, harder, needier...

"So I sincerely doubt that this is going to be a boring read.."

He smirks into her neck, his own heart beating like a bat in a birdcage

"Besides... if it means I get to hear your voice, I could listen to you read a phone book Y/N."

The way he says her name, barely a whisper, more of a plea to hear her voice than anything else.

She blushes hard under his gaze and the feel of his lips on her skin, stammering a bit as she begins to read.

"His body was urgent against her, and she didn't have the heart anymore to fight..."

Her voice hitches in her throat, Brian's teeth had decided to make an appearance as she started to read.

"She saw his eyes, tense and brilliant, fierce, not loving. But her will had left her. A strange weight was on her limbs. She was giving way. She was giving up..."

Brian's hand inched its way from her knee upwards, grazing the delicate skin of her inner thigh.

"B-Brian, what are you..."

Y/N trails off, voice breathless, eyes glassy with arousal. It's not like she didn't want this, god did she want it, but they were on his back porch, and his wife and kids, including her goddamn best friend, could just waltz out at any fucking moment... and she was pretty positive that seeing his father with his hands up his best friend's skirt wouldn't have the most positive impact on Jimmy

Brian chuckles into her neck, his calloused fingers dangerously close to her naked core... fuck, she really should've worn panties.

"I'm going to make you regret what you did last night baby girl... making me cum twice in less than 10 minutes.. giving me your soiled panties to sniff like a dirty fucking slut..."

His voice is so calm, steady, and had it not been for the context of his words, Y/N would've thought that he was just asking what she wanted for breakfast.

"If you stop reading one more time, I'm not going to let you cum honey.. got it?"

For a threat, it was whispered awfully soft and kind, but Y/N understood perfectly and just nodded her head, chest heaving, legs spreading involuntarily.

Her voice is shaky as she continues to read.

"She had to lie down there under the boughs of the tree, like an animal, while he waited, standing there in his shirt and breeches, watching her with haunted eyes..."

Brian's fingers are extremely close to her dripping core now, gently running along the crease of her inner thigh. It takes everything in her body, every single ounce of self control and restraint in her body to keep her from ceasing her reading.

"He too had bared the front part of his body and she felt his naked flesh against her as he came into her. For a moment he was still inside her, turgid there and quivering. Then as he began to move, in the sudden helpless orgasm, there awoke in her new strange thrills rippling inside her."

Brian moans at the words that Y/N was reading, how soft and weak her voice was. Fuck, she was the epitome of an angel, a creature sent to earth to bring good will to man, and based on the way his cock was training against his shorts, begging to be touched by the soft skin of Y/N's hands.

"Rippling, rippling, rippling, like a flapping overlapping of soft flames, soft as feathers, running to points of brilliance, exquisite and melting her all molten inside. It was like bells rippling up and up to a culmination. She lay unconscious of the wild little cries she uttered at the last. But it was over too soon, too soon, and she could no longer force her own conclusion with her own activity."

Y/N squeezes her eyes shut right when Brian's fingers finally slip inside of her sopping wet cunt, the noise obscene and completely out of place against the soft morning glow that was cast against the two.

She keeps reading though, the threat of Brian not letting her cum prevalent and weighing heavily in the back of her mind.

"This was different, different. She could do nothing. She could no longer harden and grip for her own satisfaction upon him. She could only wait, wait and moan in spirit and she felt him withdrawing, withdrawing and contracting, coming to the terrible moment when he would slip out of her and be gone."

Brian can't help but let out a hard moan against Y/N's neck, sucking the area behind her ear as hard as he possibly could, almost as hard as her cunt was clenching down on his fingers. She felt like heaven on a Saturday morning, tight, wet, insanely hot, and unlike anything he'd ever experienced in his 51 years of living.

Her legs were completely spread wide, cunt on display for the whole world to see if they so pleased. Brian had to resist the insatiable urge to drop to his knees in front of the swing and suck the juices that were running down his hand straight from the source... but he knew he couldn't do that, he couldn't risk Anita or any of the kids running downstairs and seeing him eating Y/N's young right pussy.. no, he had to be smart, disciplined..

"Whilst all her womb was open and soft, and softly clamouring, like a sea anenome under the tide, clamouring for him to come in again and make fulfillment for her."

Much like Lady Chatterly herself, Y/N was close, so desperately close to cumming around Brian's fingers, her walls clenching him like a vice, desperate to be pushed over the precipice.

Yet, she never stopped reading, even when Brian's fingers sped up, free hand moving to grope her breast through her dress, and his teeth began to nip at her jugular, she persisted.

"She clung to him unconscious in passion, and he never quite slipped from her, and she felt the soft bud of him within her stirring, and strange rhythms flushing up into her with a strange rhythmic growing motion, swelling and swelling til it filled all her cleaving consciousness, and then began again the unspeakable motion that was not really motion, but pure deepening whirlpools of sensation swirling deeper and deeper through all her tissue and consciousness, til she was one perfect concentric fluid of feeling, and she lay there crying in unconscious inarticulate cri-"

She clenched tight around his fingers, book falling to the ground as her arms reached over involuntarily, wrapping themselves tight around Brian's shoulders, mouth wide no noise escaping her throat despite the obvious throws of pleasure she was experiencing.

She knew it was cliche, to say that she saw stars, that she felt her entire body constrict into itself... but she did, his fingers were still inside of her, pressing hard into her g-spot, prolonging her pleasure.

Brian's lips halted their harsh assault on the young woman's neck, instead opting to place gentle kisses to the area, not wanting to overstimulate her too much.

He couldn't remove his fingers from inside of her if he wanted to, her muscles still clenching him tight as her upper body went limp, her head dropping to his chest, mouth open and heaving heavy sighs against his exposed armpit.

"B-Brian.. I.."

Before she could even get a word in, the sound of pots and pans clanging together in the kitchen caused the two lovers to spring apart, Brian's fingers slipping from Y/N's cunt so fast it made her head spin.

By the grace of whatever deity was looking down on them, Y/N somehow managed to fix her skirt, grab the book, and look semi presentable by the time Emily darted out the door, wide smile on her face.

"Dad! Y/N! Anita wants to know what you want for breakfast."

They both breathed a sigh of relief that it was only Emily, because had it been any other member of the May family, the flushed faces, heaving chests, and general disheveled appearance of Y/N and Brian would've given them away.

Brian just smiles, hiding his glistening hand behind Y/N's shoulders.

"Whatever she's making would be lovely honey, just go tell her to make sure to cut Y/N up some of that cantaloupe we bought yesterday!"

Emily giggles and nods, running back inside to yell her father's words at his girlfriend.

Y/N lets out a breath she didn't know she'd been holding in as soon as the door closes, dropping her book back against the patio as Brian lets out a loud rumbling laugh.

She jolts at the sound before joining him, completely dumbfounded that what had just happened actually happened..

"Mr. May, I swear to god, we're going to get caught if you're not careful..."

Her eyes are wide, full of mischief and excitement.. she loved this, the whole forbidden nature of their relationship, or whatever they could call it.

The risk that they were taking was a big one, and the fear of getting caught was only making her want it more.

Brian just laughs, leaning over to place a chaste kiss on her lips, hands moving to cup her cheeks.

He winces a little when he realizes that his fingers are still wet with her cum, frantically pulling them away from her to try and wipe them on his shorts.

"Shit, I'm sorry love, you probably don't want that o-"

His words are cut short when Y/N reaches forward with lightning quick reflexes and grabs his wrist, pulling his soiled fingers into her mouth where she licks every single drop of herself from him, eyes never leaving his.

Brian almost cums right there, watching this beautiful young woman do something that he hadn't seen done in 30 years.

He lets out a little whimper, making the young woman smile when she grazes her teeth over the long digits as she moves to stand, her free hand reaching into Brian's shorts, squeezing his cock before turning her back and walking towards the patio door, pausing for a second to send him a teasing wink.

"Be a good boy today Mr. May..."

Tags: @meddows-taylors @toomuchlove-willkillyou @brianmayoucease @leah-halliwell92 @rogertaylors-lipgloss @mariekuuuuuh @unofficialbillnye @stephydearestxo @goodoldfashioned-rogerboy @danamaleksworld @dereones98 @glasgowkisschelseasmile @awkwardangelshezza @bellamy1998 @psychosupernatural @warren-lauren @womanwithahotdogstand @oujiacallme @simonedk @queen-see-ya-in-valhalla @sam-mercurry-sixx @toomuchtellyneck @asgardianvamp21 @crazylittlethingcalledobsession @amore-libre @marvelstuck @softboydeacon @a-queen-on-her-throne

[fullmetalscullyy]

Don't feel obligated to write this but if you're free could you write a royai oneshot where Grumman abolishes the anti fraternization laws so roy is finally able to take riza on a romantic date?

ahhhhh this prompt gave me life!!! thank you so much uwu

i genuinely love canon dates like this bc even though it will never happen who cares that’s what fic is all about and it means i can be as self indulgent as i want 👀

The daythe news broke ended like every other day. The team said their farewells atfive o’clock on the dot. It was Friday night, after all, and Roy wouldn’t holdthem back longer than was necessary. It had been a long week working theirlatest case, but it had been closed today and there was talk under the tablethat it might be enough to push him to General.

Said talkcame from Fuhrer Grumman himself, so Roy was inclined to believe it. The mancould be conniving and wily, but when it came to Roy’s career and ascension tothe top, Grumman was forward and blunt.

“You didsecure the position for me, after all,” he would state cheerily, twisting hismoustache. But when his expression relaxed, his eyes opening as his smilefaded, Roy always saw the same cunning glint within them.

Call it afavour for a favour.

One otherfavour, in return for taking care of his granddaughter – not that she needed“taken care of” at all, but he was an old man from a different time so theyboth played along – was abolishing a certain set of laws that prevented themfrom making the old man’s dream come to fruition.

Thefraternization laws were in place simply to protect officers from each other.They weren’t really enforced, however if any issues arose then they were for afew months as the issue was dealt with – the worst-case scenario ending in atransfer – before dying out to lie in wait in the background once more.

Roy andRiza never risked it because in order to reach the top they needed to besqueaky clean. Not the mention the fact that if the homunculi knew about themthen all hell would break loose.

Just likeit did when the late Fuhrer Bradley took Hawkeye hostage.

“Any plansfor this evening General?” Hawkeye asked casually as she stood patiently beforehis desk, waiting on him to finish signing off the report of their latest case.

It hadbeen exactly a month to the day since the fraternisation laws had beenrepealed.

“Just one,if you would be willing,” he ventured, handing over the manila folder, but notrelinquishing his control. Hawkeye’s eyes flashed up to his, raising an eyebrowat his hesitation to let go.

“Oh?”

“Whatwould you say to dinner?”

Silencefell as Riza regarded him. He watched as she calculated his request, openingher mouth to refuse, but then paused, lips slightly apart after an intake ofbreath as she remembered what had happened recently.

“So soon?”

“Wedecided we would once the case was finished. Now it is,” Roy smiled, letting goof the folder. It flopped towards his desk, Riza remaining still as shecontinued to weight his request. Finally, she schooled her expression, tuckedthe folder under her arm, and a small smile appeared on her face.

“Pick meup at seven, sir.”

She turnedon her heel and left the room to head towards the Fuhrer’s office to hand in hisreport.

“It’s adate,” he called to her back, a goofy grin on his face.

Hecouldn’t help himself.

*          *          *

AlthoughRoy just knew Grumman had done thisfor their benefit – and it made him uncomfortable to say so – there were many happy people around headquarters theday the Fuhrer had announced the Big News. Apparently that law had restrictedmore than just them.

“It isn’tcompletely abolished,” Grumman stated quietly to Roy, afraid his secretarywould overhear in the other room while they played their weekly chess match.“There are clauses still in place to protect our officers, however it is nowpermitted in the workplace.” Grumman took Roy’s knight as he was distracted.“With a new Fuhrer comes a new age. Times are changing and have been for manyyears. It’s about time the military caught up with them.”

Royadjusted the cuff link on his right wrist, angling the flowers in the same handso they wouldn’t bump against the door of the lift and crush the petals. It dinged above him, signalling his arrivalon Riza’s floor.

Armed onlywith his ecstatic grin and bunch of flowers – pink and white carnations, whichwere her favourites – Roy knocked on her apartment door and waited.

It’s finally happening.

“Goodevening, Roy,” she greeted. There was a sharp intake of breath as he presentedhis gift with a flourish. “Oh, they are beautiful.”Riza motioned for him to enter, closing the door before wandering into herkitchen area to retrieve a vase and fill it with water. “You remembered,” shestated softly, a smile on her face that made Roy’s grin even wider.

“Of course,I did,” he replied, popping his hip and leaning it against the kitchen counternext to her sink. “You always brought them back from the Saturday market.”

“They weremy mother’s favourites –” she began, cut off by Roy before she could finish.

“And theyalways reminded you of her,” he grinned. The quiet laugh that filled the roomwas music to his ears.

“Yes. Byextension, they became my favourites too.”

Theylapsed into a comfortable silence as Roy watched her busy herself withpreparing her flowers. It was incredible to even witness a moment like this;never mind the actual date he had planned for the evening. If Roy could forgothe date, and just stay in her apartment all night while they did such normal,domestic, things, he would.

That wasall he had ever wanted, just to love Riza Hawkeye openly and freely withoutanyone trying to make his life miserable for it.

“So, whereare you taking us tonight?” Riza smiled, hooking her arm in his as theyapproached the lift.

“Somewherespecial,” he replied mysteriously, chuckling as Riza rolled her eyes, butdidn’t press him any further.

She lookedstunning in her midnight blue dress. It rose up her throat, covering hershoulders and neck, and stopped just above the knee, the skirt swishing as shewalked. Her short hair rustled in the summer breeze, her fringe blowing overher nose. Flicking her head to the side to remove it, she continued walking,oblivious to Roy staring at her with a lopsided grin. Well, oblivious was thewrong answer, that woman saw everything.More like ignored him.

“Can Ihelp you?” she asked dryly, not looking away from the path ahead of them. Therewas amusement in her tone, belaying any fears that he had offended her.

“Justadmiring a lovely lady.”

“Would youlike a picture instead,” she asked sweetly, finally turning her face to look athis.

Roychuckled, giving the hand atop his arm a squeeze. “That won’t be necessary. I’mjust still in awe that I can take you out on a date now. Well,” he added with asmirk. “A proper date.” He waggledhis eyebrows suggestively.

Rizablushed and Roy laughed at her reaction. The playful swat on his arm didn’tstop it either.

Theirevening stroll was cut short as they arrived in front of a very fancy lookingrestaurant on the main street in Central. Said street was packed full ofhigh-end shops, bars, cafes, and restaurants that cost more to shop and eat inthan most people would pay for their weekly shop.

But onlythe best for Riza.

Besides,they had a lot of time to make up for.

“This is…”Riza gazed up at the sign above the door in disbelief. “Very fancy,” shefinished lamely. Roy repeated his earlier sentiment about giving her the best,which resulted in a pointed look, before glancing worriedly up at the sign.

“Riza,relax,” he soothed, gripping her hand tightly and guiding her inside.

Highvaulted ceilings greeted them alongside the melodic sound of a harp beingplayed in the corner farthest from the entrance. A woman in a beautiful, floorlength golden dress plucked at the strings, soothing the patrons with her musicwhile they ate. Roy also noted there were three chandeliers hanging from above,the crystals catching the soft candlelight, the reflection of it barely visibleto the naked eye from this distance. Roy chuckled quietly at his own joke,thinking Riza could probably pick out the reflections easily.

A waitershowed them to their table, situated towards the back where it was quieter andmore private. Roy has specifically requested this when he called ahead, andwhen the manager found out one of Amestris’ top Generals was paying a visit tohis restaurant, the staff had practically fallen over their own feet toaccommodate him. Roy never liked using his rank like that, it felt dirty.Besides, he had more than enough money to burn on things like this, he didn’tneed free handouts from people trying to impress him.

And everypenny was worth it when he got to take Riza Hawkeye out on a date.

“Thisplace is incredible,” Riza whispered in awe once the waiter left them toretrieve a bottle of the house wine. Roy nodded in agreement, picking up themenu the waiter had left for them.

It was sofancy it didn’t even have prices next to each dish.

Roy wavedoff Riza’s concern, stating tonight was his treat.

“You canget the next one,” he offered.

Rizafrowned. “It will be nowhere near as fancy as this,” she griped, closing her menuwith a forceful snap.

“Itdoesn’t need to be,” Roy stated calmly, placing his menu down on the midnightblack tablecloth. “As long as I’m with you, it doesn’t matter what we do.”

Rizascoffed, but there was no real anger behind it. Still, Roy felt the need totell her how he really felt. They had spent decades fighting it, hiding theirtrue feelings from each other, and Roy had promised himself that he wouldn’tany longer.

“Truly.Riza,” he stated, taking her hand in his. “I could spend a night in CentralLibrary with you, cataloguing and moving books and it would still bewonderful.” She blushed and Roy grinned. “Every day at work is a treat becauseI have you by my side.”

“Eventhough I irritate you by pushing you to complete your work on time?” she asked,amusement in her eyes.

Royflashed her a grin. “That’s the best part.”

They splitapart once the waiter returned and took their order, but their eyes neverstrayed too far from the other as they chatted and ate.

As thenight wound down Riza boldly slipped from her own chair to the one next toRoy’s. He didn’t comment, just eagerly accepted it as she begun to lean in andspeak lowly, unknowingly creating a more intimate atmosphere.

Slightlyinebriated by the wine and drunk on his love for the woman sitting so close tohim, Roy smiled, inching his head closer to hers. Riza’s breath caught and she madeno indication she was going to pull away. She simply waited for him to takecharge, like so many other aspects of their lives, and Roy thought – with dismay– that was not the way he wanted things to be.

Instead ofkissing her, he paused, hovering just above her lips, eyeing them hungrily.

“Roy?” shebreathed. The desire was clear in her strained tone.

“Yes?” heanswered innocently.

Silencehung between them. It was a delicious ache to be so close to her and not kissher like the need burning inside him demanded, but Roy held out. He had waitedthis long. He could wait a little longer.

Plus, hewasn’t in charge here. They both were.

Riza justneeded a gentle push and he would be more than willing to give it to her.

“Wh – What–?”

It trulywas adorable to hear her stutter this way, incapable of forming the sentencesshe wanted to. Roy smirked, moving his head so his nose brushed against hers,confirming that he definitely had anaffect on her when her breath hitched.

“Do youknow how long I’ve waited for a moment like this?” he murmured, his breathcaressing her deep, red lips. They parted in anticipation and Roy felt herbreath flit across his face. It was intoxicating. “For a night like this?”

His gazecaught hers, trapping Riza in place with his eyes. She swallowed, lips partingonce more, yet she made no move further.

Roy got adevilish idea.

He dippedhis head, moving towards her neck. Her dress had a high collar to hide her scarfrom the promised day, but the heat of his breath and his touch still seepedthrough the fabric. His lips trailed around her jaw to her ear, nuzzling it.Riza gasped and he smirked as he pressed his lips to her throat, kissing thevein pulsing in it gently.

“Do youknow how long I’ve waited for you?” he whispered.

That wasapparently enough for Riza. She grabbed him by the lapels of his suit jacket,their eyes meeting for the briefest second. Desire met desire, although his twinkledwith a hint of amusement. Riza tugged him closer, pressing her lips hardagainst his, whimpering as his tongue stroked her bottom lip.

“Do youwant to move this back to my place?” she asked, breathlessly, pulling awayabruptly.

Roygrinned.

“I’d followyou into hell, Riza. Lead the way.”

[jawreggy]

open letter to my younger self

TW//

dear jess, today let's talk about your sexual abuse. u never put it into writing, u bury it inside ur head, but this time we talk about it.

we were molested during our 4th grade. it was a normal day, we are heading into our grandparents house to eat lunch. it was sunny and the walk is long. along that walk we were stopped by someone who is mentally sick, how do i know? bcs he was my classmate's neighbor. he has an illness, a retarted guy. in my mind he is not harmful, or so i thought. he told me that he knows a shorter way to get to my grandparent's house. as a kid we all want to get in the destination fast, so I agreed to come. he lead mo to this small alley, i know this place. it was in the side of their apartment building. he gave me a stick, yep a stick. he touched me and lift me up. he told me to remove the spider web on the wall, yep weird right but he gained access through my uniform skirt all the way to my panties, and next thing I know he was touching my small, developing vagina. i was so confused of what's happening, i don't know what to react. all i can feel is pain, pain coming from his touch. it happened so fast, and next thing i know i am asking him to stop. then he puts me down and i ran away fast, confused, scared and alone. i realized, that was the start of me having fear, and uncomfortable around guys.

it doesn't stop there...

when i was in high school, my cousin molested me. i was sleeping at my father's room and then i woke up feeling his dick in my ass, he is rubbing himself against my back. and yes it did not happen once, it happened twice. i developed fear from him. for me it hurts that he did all that. we were close, we grew up together, he was my buddy. we are still close today but i still have this fear when he's around, especially when we are alone.

so why r we talking about it. bcs i realized younger self, that we've been through a lot. we have been sexually, mentally and physically abused by other people and by our past exes. and it created this wall of trust issues, insecurities, doubtfulness, extreme self criticism and unworthiness. we settled with people who gave us bare minimums bcs in the back of our heads that is what we only deserve.

I just realized, maybe that is the reason why I am comfortable to havw girlfriends instead of boyfriends, bcs I am in control. bcs in the times i was molested, i felt weakness, vulnerability. i hide in this strong minded woman who are really broken inside, can't even form a healthy relationship with others without giving up control.

now, i come to terms that maybe this also the reason why i am so scared to try things with this boy i really really like, bcs of all the traumas i have been through esp fr my recent relationship that really broke me that really questioned my worthiness that i am still struggling to heal from.

with all my brokeness, the one thing that kept me fighting is the truth. The truth that regardless of my lacking, the scars that my body bears, the traumas, the failures and affliction I have today, I know God still loves me. He loves me completely and unconditionally. He didn't see me for what i see myself, He only sees His son righteousness. And right now, that is enough. Enough to go on, enough to believe that He is preparing someone for me who will love me in the way I should be loved, and treated. A person who will accept all of me. A person that I truly deserve after all the things that my body had endured.

why am I sharing this? so u can be aware that keeping your traumas all by yourself will create a massive diversion from making yourself whole and heal. talk about it with someone u trust, cried all about it to God. and ask Him to give u people that will help you get through it. it took me years to acknowledge all of this but finally here i am writing about it bcs he gave me people that really listened.

and this is it younger self. remember that whatever we endured, u r loved and valued by someone who will never disappoint you :)) go, and chase whatever He desires for you ❤️

love, jess