#but i never really stick to that very long

[maxiemumdamage]

So, something seeing Wicked the Movie made me VERY aware of is how Madame Morrible is kind of…always a bad person. We just don’t see it because it’s all through Elphaba’s eyes — but her kindness to Elphaba further motivates everyone else to be cruel to her!

Like, okay, fine, Morrible is annoyed by Galinda demanding to be included in a seminar she doesn’t have the talent for; were I a college professor constantly pestered by this one kid that I let them take a course they don’t have the prerequisites for, I’d be frustrated too.

But Morrible is frequently outright cruel to Galinda, in a way a teacher never should be to a student. She calls her a disappointment, vain, stupid, and everything else. And the thing is Morrible isn’t factually wrong — we know from Dillamond, who’s much more objective, that Galinda really doesn’t put a lot of effort or substance into her work; she is shallow and thoughtless.

But not only is Morrible way crossing the line of professionalism — her every cruelty to Galinda and kindness towards Elphaba only ensures the latter keeps getting bullied! Because Morrible knows Galinda is popular, that as long as she hates Elphaba the latter has zero hope of a social life.

But to Morrible, that’s a feature, not a bug. The more isolated Elphaba is, the more determined she’ll be to stay in good with her beloved teacher and the Wizard. Pissing Galinda off and demeaning her compared to Elphaba is deliberate.

It just doesn’t register, because viewers identify more with Elphaba, and for her it’s a comfort and solace that her teacher sticks up for her and kicks her bully.

[aurumalatus]

two.

a short series in which you share a multitude of kisses with childhood friends to lovers!kinich over your lifetime.

your bedroom feels overwhelmingly hot.

the a/c is on, you know because your curtains are billowing from the cool air pooling from the vent underneath them. summers are always this warm, when the humidity grows high and sweat sticks to your skin in layers.

kinich is laying on your bed, fanning himself with a stray magazine he had plucked from your nightstand. on days like these, it's too hot for you to even make the walk to the park down the street, or to the skatepark. you'd be drowning in sweat before you made it there, you're sure.

"so you've never kissed anyone?"

you don't even really remember how the conversation started. all you know is that the two of you had been talking about things you'd never done before, and you'd arrived at this. the girls in the locker room had been discussing it—their first kiss—including who it was with and what it was like.

the mere thought makes you gnaw at your lip, tension filling the room.

"...have you?" you reply, glancing over to your best friend. he doesn't seem nearly as bothered by the subject matter as you are.

"nope. i don't really care though," he sighs, which is so typical of him, you think. unlike you, kinich cares very little what the other kids in your grade think of him.

but you care, and you're starting to worry that you're falling behind in that...developmental area. you've managed to deflect any questions about the topic from the other girls in your class, but you fear that you won't be able to keep it up for long.

kinich sits up, shuffling forward on your bed to stare at where you sit on the ground. his gaze is inquisitive, and you suddenly feel very vulnerable.

"but let me guess," he starts, tossing his makeshift fan aside, "you care."

as always, he has you all figured out. after a moment of hesitation, you nod.

"i do. i know it's lame, but i feel like the other girls will think i'm..."

"a prude?"

you sigh. "something like that."

another moment passes before kinich is crawling off the bed, sitting cross-legged before you. his proximity makes the heat worse, but you don't hate it.

"alright," he shrugs, scooting closer. "then i'll kiss you, and you can tell everyone it was me."

you flinch in alarm, head knocking against the drawer of your wooden dresser. kinich's eyes widen, hands already outstretched toward you, but you interrupt him with your own spluttering.

"wh-what?! what are you talking about? you can't just do that!"

he tilts his head. "why not? is it because you're embarrassed for it to be me?"

"no!" you defend instantly. you'd never be embarrassed to be around kinich. "but...don't you want it to be with a girl you actually like?"

"i do like you."

you shake your head. you know what he means, but you were implying a different kind of like. still, the thought of sharing your first kiss with kinich isn't...awful. it's a bit comforting to share it with someone you trust, even moreso when you know that he hasn't done it before either.

finally, after thinking on it a bit more, you nod firmly.

"okay."

kinich raises a brow. "okay?"

and then he's leaning in, and you don't know whether to close your eyes or leave them open. you're trying to remember every teen romance movie you've ever watched after your mother went to bed, but your memory fails you. but he's already so close, and you rush forward a little too fast and—

your lips bump together clumsily, and you wince at the feeling. it's weird, certainly, and you're honestly not sure if you're doing it right at all. you can feel kinich's lashes brushing against your skin, and the feeling makes you shiver.

it's chaste, so brief that it's over before it even really registers in your mind that it happened. your mind is racing by the time kinich pulls away, and you find yourself meeting his eyes far too quickly.

his gaze is warm. "that okay?"

you nod, wondering what the blooming feeling in your chest could mean.

"yeah," you reply, swallowing thickly. "it was okay."

[itsmrshamilton]

No Apologies (2)| LH44

summary: the aftermath of the fallout between Lewis and Y/n. Are they willing to apologise and make up?

a/n: sorry it took so long. please engage before you leave!

💌 💌 💌 💌 💌 💌 💌 💌 💌 💌 💌 💌 💌 💌 💌

"Mummy?" Called Leo from the backseat. His black curls were a mess from playing with them. Something he did when he got really bored or annoyed.

"Yes, my sweets?" Y/n looked up to see him in the rearview mirror.

"Is Auntie Sofie going to have popcorn there?"

"Yes, my sweets."

"And rice cakes?"

"Yes."

"And ice lollies?"

"Yes, Leo."

"What about-"

"Leo, Sofie always has your favourite snacks can you drop it!"

Leo stared at her in the mirror before jutting his bottom lip out and turning to the window. The cutest pout she's ever seen but her frustration and guilt didn't allow her to let it stick around.

She sighed to herself. He was just trying to keep himself entertained. Unfortunately, she was too overwhelmed to do that right now. "I'm sorry. Leo. Leo, look at me. Mummy's sorry about that. We'll get to Auntie Sofie's place soon, then you can ask her if she's got everything. Okay?"

Parenting definitely isn't for the weak. He stayed silent for a minute, still pouting violently.

"Okay."

The rest of the drive there was quiet except for a few sniffles from Leo. He wouldn't meet her eye in the mirror and continued to stare out the window til he fell asleep. Sofie's house was 2 hours away, but it was the only place she could go in order to take some time to think. The sky had changed to a light orange by the time she got there.

One couldn't tell that the small house actually had three bedrooms inside as well as a large living area and a small garden at the back.

It was the kind of home Y/n grew up wanting for herself. She'd spoken to Sofie about it during many childhood sleepovers. 12 years ago, she could have been upset that Sofie got to buy it first if it weren't for the fact that she had met Lewis by that point and moved into his luxurious Monaco apartment.

The door to the yellow house opened and Sofie came rushing down the path to the car. There were rollers in her black hair and her oversized shirt flapped in her haste. Y/n knew she didn't care what her neighbours thought - she probably walked to the nearest shop like this often.

"How dare you interrupt my evening plans with your emergency call." She grinned when she came to a stop on the sidewalk.

"What evening plans? Curling up on your dirty old couch with one of your dirty old cats to binge murder documentaries?" Y/n teased in return. Her own smirk twitching in amusement.

"Yeah! Best part of my week!" They laughed at that and hugged tightly. Sofie was the first to pull away and placed her hands on her hips. "Need me to go there and kick him out?"

Y/n sighed loudly. "Yes, no, I don't know yet. I just need to think."

Sofie rolled her eyes. "That's all you ever do when it come to Lewis. Think, think, think. There's never any action - proper action to sit and communicate. Look what it's led to."

"I don't want this lecture outside, Sof. Grab something to make yourself useful." She turned to the car to open Leo's door.

"How about I grab my best boy and you can carry in the rest, yeah?" She unbuckled a sleeping Leo then scooped him up and carried him inside, cooing as she went. They loved each other greatly.

Y/n watched in slight annoyance before grabbing the bags, locking and heading inside. Staying with Sofie was always a treat because they didn't get to live together during childhood due to Sofie being a product of an affair between her mother, Devi, and Y/n's father long before Y/n was even born. Everything ended messily when Y/n's mum, Lee-Ann, found out and demanded he cut all contact. But it only got worse a couple of years later when Devi turned up at the house with a very young Sofie and demanded a paternity test. Lee-Ann was nearly 9 months pregnant.

"So, what happened?" Sofie interrupted Y/n's thoughts once they were inside and settled. She was carrying a bottle of wine and two glasses.

"Oh, uh, he came home at 1 this morning instead of last night. No messages, no call-"

"What an arse." Sof mumbled into her drink.

"We argued in the afternoon about him not being around, me wanting a different life and other dumb shit we've been over before."

"Y'know, I have never heard you say that you sat down and talked things over. It's always either him starting shit at the worst moments, or you." Sofie pointed out.

"Me?? I don't start arguments." Y/n sat up in surprise.

"Y/n." Sofie deadpanned.

"What? I don't!"

Sofie rolled her eyes at her sister's denial and took another sip before stretching out in search of comfort. "See, this is why you two won't work. Neither one of you wants to take the blame or understand that both of you are the problem!"

Y/n stayed silent as she stroked the cat on her lap. She wasn't a problem. If Lewis stopped doing things to annoy her, then she wouldn't get annoyed and argue with him.

"I never once saw mum and daddy argue. Did you know that? Their marriage was a mess, they didn't sleep in the same bed, they rarely did nice things for each other but they never argued in front of me. I grew up thinking my family was normal.

Lewis plans these grand dates involving yachts and passports, fucks me til my soul leaves my body and gets me flowers twice a week. Yet we manage to fight almost daily. How is my marriage worse than my parents?" Y/n was crying uglily by the end of her rant. Pathetically wiping at her wet cheeks and hiccupping to get the words out.

Sofie pulled her close and rubbed her back while the cat, now annoyed by the noise, scurried away.

"Oh, my sweet Y/n." Her heart ached for her little sister who spent all her life trying to please people.

"We try not to do it in front of Leo or raise our voices when he's in the house, but I think he knows. He knows something is wrong, and I don't want that. I don't want him to hate us, Sof." More sobbing and coughing. Sof grimaced slightly. Y/n had always been an ugly crier, but she still wasn't used to it.

"Y/n, Leo is a loving child who sees no wrong in anyone because you two raised him that way. He won't hate you for trying to hold things together for him if you have genuine intentions." Sofie sat Y/n up and held her by the shoulders. "But if you're really so worried about how it affects him, then maybe you should divorce."

Y/n sat straighter at this. While yes, she had kind of threatened Lewis with one, she didn't really think they would go through with it. She hoped a long break was what the relationship needed, and then she would go back and all would be fixed. But at the same time, she wanted things to end here as they were without seeing each other again.

Sofie watched her sister absorb her words and process. Her eyebrows met and temporarily hid the scar she'd gotten when Sof threw a toy at her in a fit of rage. Blood had dribbled down her small face, ruined her clothes while Sofie had burst into tears, and scrambled to get their dad. Lee-Ann had demanded Devi keep her away from the house for weeks, and the girls weren't allowed to play unsupervised again. Y/n forgave Sofie immediately with a gentle hug, but 30 years later, Lee-Ann hadn't.

Growing up with a single mother, a guilt-ridden father, and his spiteful wife wasn't easy, and Sofie ended up struggling with relationships in her teenagerhood and adulthood. Y/n was the only person she could rely on and give her all to. She hated watching her suffer, but more than that, she hated watching Leo grow up in the middle of this. No child deserved an unstable home. Therefore, Sofie refused to allow Y/n to do so when she had the resources and support to prevent it. Leo deserved a better life even if it came at the expense of her sister's marriage.

"Y/n? Did you hear me?"

"Hm? Yeah. I just-"

"Mummy?" Leo stood by the doorway rubbing his small eyes.

Y/n made her way to him and hoisted him into her arms. "Let's go have a bath, my sweets. Then we can have a yummy supper with Auntie Sofie, okay?"

"Okay." He replied hoarsely and lay his head on her shoulder.

Once he was bathed and moisturised, Leo sat on the bed and pulled his clothes on, struggling all the way after confidently claiming he could do it himself. Y/n watched in amusement as he moved onto his socks despite his pajama pants being on backward.

"Mummy?" He took a break from his exhausting task.

"Yes, my sweets?" She slipped on the final sock.

"When we wake up here at Auntie Sofie's, will daddy be here?" His brown eyes shone brightly with innocence.

Y/n did her best to think of an answer without showing her annoyance at the fact that her son was very used to going to bed without his father and knowing he'd be there in the morning. She did all the hard work throughout the day, taking tantrums and accidents as they came just for Lewis to be the one to be showered with kisses and praises the next morning when Leo awoke.

"We'll be staying at Aunt Sofie's for some time, my Leo. Just you and me." He looked down sadly, and Y/n could basically see the gears turning in his mind. His thinking face was exactly like Lewis' - eyes squint, lips pulled to one side, puffed out cheeks.

"So no daddy?" He whispered.

"No daddy for now, okay?" She placed a kiss on his forehead and helped him off the bed. Together they moved to the dining room.

Later that night she pulled the duvet over Leo and his toys in the queen size bed. Supper had gone down without a fuss from him and now he was buzzing with excitement to call his father. Y/n handed him her phone with the contact on screen and moved out of frame.

"Here you go, press call. Yes, that one." They video called Lewis often enough that Leo knew how to handle the device so his dad could see all of him and his toys therefore he could say goodnight to everyone.

The phone rang once before being answered. Y/n smiled sadly at her husband's eagerness.

"Daddy!" Greeted Leo. He gripped the phone with two small hands and a big grin that showed every tooth and gap.

"Hello, my boy! You look nice and cozy. Are all your teddies tucked in proper?" The two went on to talk about Leo's stuffed companions, his night with Nathan and his week at school. Lewis wasn't just catching up on the day but also the week he missed. Y/n could see how happy he was to listen to Leo stutter and ramble his way through the stories. His brown eyes were bright, framed beautifully by lashes and crow's feet. His smile was wide, spreading further to laugh at Leo's jokes. But Y/n could also see how much he was hurting during this experience. His beautiful lashes wet from crying earlier, his lips slightly chapped from lack of self-care and his throat moving constantly to swallow the lump that was no doubt sitting there. It hurt her too to see him pain but she pushed it down by thinking of the many times he couldn't see her pain because he was too far from home.

"Daddy, mummy said you won't be coming to Auntie Sofie's. Why won't you come? When will I see you?" Leo's voice trembled slightly, and Y/n froze. She didn't mean to phrase in such a way that Leo thought it was all Lewis' fault - well, technically it was, but she didn't want Leo blaming his father. Not at this age anyway. She watched as Lewis sat in baffled silence before attempting to answer his sweet son in a reassuring way. If Y/n wasn't mature enough not to talk shit about him in front of their son, then he would be the bigger person and go about this nicely, he thought.

"Champ, I promise I'll take you to school on Monday, okay? We can spend some time after school as well. How's that?" Leo smiled happily at that, and Lewis felt a light weight lift off his shoulders. "Okay, well, it's 8pm now. Time for bed, yeah?"

"Goodnight, daddy." Leo let his father bid him and each of his toys goodnight and then passed the phone on to his mum. She pressed kisses to his brown cheeks then stepped out to take a breath in an attempt to compose herself. She lifted the phone to talk to her husband. He opened his mouth, but she quickly cut him off.

"You can't take him on Monday." She said sternly. His face dropped.

"Y/n, come on. No. Y/n, you can't do that to me, please. Please. You just heard me promise him that." She watched him beg with a stern expression. He looked like he was on the verge of falling apart. In front of their child he had held it all together -put on the performance of the century. But here, in front of the woman he hurt, he sniffled and grasped for straws. She wasn't impressed.

"We're two hours away, Lewis. School won't work so I'm going to let Leo stay home for the week while I look for a local school to move him to."

Lewis was shocked to silence as a tear rolled down his face. "Why would you uproot his life this, Y/n!? This isn't fair!"

She furrowed her brows at the volume of his voice. She had a lot to say about things that were and weren't fair. But before she could list them, he began shouting some more. "I- I understand that you're upset and you have every right to be but Leo shouldn't suffer because of that. You can't punish him."

"I'm not punishing him." She grew more frustrated.

"So you're punishing me?" He asked angrily, more tears.

"I'm not punishing anyone! I'm trying to make the best decision for him while dealing with everything that went down. Your house is empty because of what you did. This is not punishment, this is the consequence of your actions so maybe you should have that about Leo suffering before you ruined our marriage!" She's trembling and she's sure everyone in the house heard everything she just yelled.

Lewis scoffed before ending the call.

Y/n spent the next hour crying in Sofie's arms on the couch. She hadn't gone back to Leo's room to check on him and soothe him just in case he was upset by the call. She couldn't handle seeing him cry for his father right now. She couldn't handle being the bad guy to him. Sofie's hand on her back made it all a little easier to deal with. The purring cat on her lap didn't hurt either. She stroked its soft back gently while she sniffled and tried to find her words.

"Y/n, I don't want to make the decision for you." Sofie started. Y/n looked up into her sister's golden eyes, slightly scrunched due to the sad smile on her face. "But Leo should not be caught in the crossfire. And I know you know that."

"But I can't stay with Lewis, Sof. I can't be like mum and force my marriage to work." Y/n whispered. The thought of living with Lewis again made her scared for many reasons.

Sofie shook her head and brushed aside the black strand that came loose. "Your mum didn't force her marriage in order to create a good life for you. She did it so she wouldn't look like a bad wife to others. She wanted our dad to be the only person who wrong and immoral in the relationship."

Y/n felt her eyes tear up once more from the memories of her childhood with her mum who did everything in her power to keep things normal. Eventually it all fell apart and Y/n didn't want that for herself. She didn't want that for Leo.

"You'll only hurt Leo if you try to make yourself blameless in this situation. I don't care if neither one of you apologises and you end up dragging each other's arses kicking and screaming to every court in this country, as long as you put that sweet little boy first."

Y/n heard the slight tremor in her sister's voice and finally realised how this all affected her. All this time she'd been thinking of herself and her hate for the man she married while ignoring the bigger pain this was causing her son and sister. Her loving sister who never blamed her for being the treasured daughter in their chaotic household. Her loving sister who sheltered her from her Lee-Ann's nasty behaviour towards herself and never spoke badly of Lee-Ann in front of Y/n. Her loving sister who soaked up every miniscule second she got with her father but also happily allowed for Y/n to spend those limited moments with them.

Y/n lunged forward to give Sofie the biggest hug ever. She'd take Sofie's advice and think things over. The cat in her lap meowed unhappily at its new position squashed between the two women. They pulled away giggling.

"I love you, Sof." Y/n smiled using her sleeve to wipe her tears

"I love you too so stop getting your snot on my furniture." Y/n giggled and sniffled. "If you're really interested in the local schools, I'll give you a list of the good private ones. Too many of them are run by cunts with tight g-strings."

"Sofie!"

"What?? It's true, they wear them to keep the sticks up their arse in place." She picked up her drink.

"You're so mean, oh my gosh." Y/n laughed.

💌 💌 💌 💌 💌 💌 💌 💌 💌 💌 💌 💌 💌 💌 💌

On Sunday evening, Lewis was in the kitchen using the island as a desk for all his stuff - files, folders and his laptop. He'd even brought the printer down from the study because he couldn't stand to be upstairs while the house was this empty.

He reached for document being printed- an email from his lawyer helping him gear up for the divorce. He'd been on a call earlier with his accountant to start discussions about what would need to be done once the divorce papers were written up. He didn't want to do any of this. After the call with Leo and Y/n, he had cried himself to sleep on the couch. He had woken up very early on Sunday morning to a horrid headache and a worse heartache. As the day went on, his sadness turned to anger as he thought about everything. He refused to let Y/n make him feel this way and to take his boy from him like this. He'd then called his father who arranged to meet with him for lunch on Monday but suggested Lewis talk to a lawyer in the mean time to see what his options were. Lewis was more than grateful for his dad's support. He cherished the bond they had and the work they had put in to make everything work in the end. Y/n was well offside for the shit she had said about them, he thought. She would pay for every word that came out her mouth.

As soon as the printing machine stopped, the front door opened. His heart hammered in his chest when he took tentative steps to investigate and then he stared in disbelief, not sure what to do now.

Y/n stood at the door with a sleeping Leo snoring into the crook of her neck. Her lips trembled as she took a shallow breath.

"I'm sorry."

💌 💌 💌 💌 💌 💌 💌 💌 💌 💌 💌 💌 💌 💌 💌

Welp, now what?? This is not the end. Part 3 out soon.

Thanks for reading this far! Please don't forget to engage before you leave. (Asking to be tagged is not encouraged)

I do not consent to my work being uploaded onto another site or being altered, translated, fed to AI sites or stolen!!

[demarogue]

Gettin' Through the Holidays Mental Health Tricks

If y'all are anything like me, this time of year is triggering AF. Here are some small, very easy grounding exercises that I was taught by my therapist, basically in order of how much I like them for this rage-inducing season. You make like them in a different order, depending on your rage-to-despair ratio.

Push a wall: literally go up to a wall and try to push it over. Really try. I promise you won't push it over, but give it your best shot. Try to hold it as long as you can, and then take a breather and assess whether you need to repeat. Why it works: This is a quick, physical expulsion of the fight-or-flight feeling. It's a bit like punching a wall, but without the potential to hurt yourself/look scary/damage things. You can even do it in front of people and say you're stretching, they'll never know (unless the wall actually falls down, but this will not happen, I assure you).

Shake like a dog: Animals shake to release stress, and you are also an animal. Setting aside time to just shake it out, as vigorously as you can, arms and legs, face, stick your tongue out, pretend you're shaking like a wet dog. You can dance instead, if that feels better, and you can do this to music, but basically the more unhinged you can be, the better. If you are in a place you can scream, scream too! Why it works: like the above, this is a release of pent-up stress and anxiety. Especially if your rage-to-woe ratio is high, some kind of physical exertion is often the best way to burn through the cortisol and adrenaline you're building up.

Bilateral Tapping: Cross your arms over your chest so that your fingertips are at your shoulders, and slowly tap, one hand at a time, back and forth, for about a minute. Breathe slowly. Why it works: This is weird as hell, but because this engages both sides of your brain, it helps override the activity of the amygdala, which is the part of your brain that Makes The Fear. If you're being literally triggered in a situation, i.e. you're having a trauma response, or reliving some family trauma, this is a good one.

Box Breathing: From a comfortable position (can really be seated, laying down or standing), inhale slowly for a count of 4, hold for a count of 4, exhale for a count of 4, hold for a count of 4, then repeat. You can do it for shorter counts or longer counts, but if you vary the counts make sure the exhale is longer than the inhale. You can close your eyes or leave them open. Why it works: This exercise helps you move from a sympathetic (activated) nervous system response to a parasympathetic (balanced) response. I do this one every day, and it's a good gateway to meditation. Especially helpful in anxious or tense situations, but I find if I'm very triggered I need one of the other ones first, or it can make anxiety worse. Breathwork is amazing but not usually as a first exercise if you're very activated, or have been activated a long time.

Ice: Lots of ways to do this one – hands in cold water for 30 seconds, ice pack on the back of your neck, dip your entire face into a bowl of ice water (this one's the most effective). Why it works: I kinda think this is hilarious, but this activates your mammalian dive reflex. It immediately slows your heart-rate, so if you are feeling your blood pressure and heart rate rising, this one is very good. The only reason this one's at the bottom of my list is because I hate being cold.

I wish you all a very get-through-the-holidays-without-hurting-yourself. Take time alone if you need it.

[jazzy-art-time]

Thanks

CW: cooties

It’s that Turkey thanks day here where I’m at. So I figured I would be that cringe fucker who gets overly insightful on today for a change.

But I figured I would sit down and tap for a second for anyone who would glance over at me today.

This past year has been, a lot for me. Good n bad and stuff but.

I wanted to say thank you to my friends. My dear friends.

I don’t think I would be the man I am right now without you and your support.

Like literally, prolly wouldn’t have been Raymond without you. You helped me test out everything and become comfortable with becoming Raymond. I can never be thankful enough for that, I’m closer to who I am and want to be even. I cannot express my thanks enough for that.

You guys support my artwork and my characters so much. You guys let me yap for so long and you let me send so many paragraphs for hours about my shitty ass stories and OCs. You’ve listened to so much Jolene Bennet and Pinky BrainRot you deserve awards. It seems silly but it means a lot to me that you guys are willing to listen to me insanity. I’m not that interesting of a person, so my characters are all I’ve got going on, it just means a lot that you are willing to listen.

You have also had to bear witness to the Birth of Jarble as well as its continued development. Which is very special to me due to why I made Jarble to begin with. It means the world that I can feel comfortable sharing it, developing it, getting tips and bouncing ideas back and forth. Jarble went from a shitty AU I made to escape from everything into something I hold dear to me. It’s special now, it might have died out and fizzled. So thank you for helping me create something special. Also the fact that I’m willing to share my writings with you guys show how much I trust y’all, my writing sucks and you are the few who get to witness it. I will say however, fuck you for the sheer amount of Jeden emojis, he haunts me and you do this to me I’ll get you /silly

As well as you guys aren’t afraid to call me out on my shit. If I’m doing something wrong, if I’m being out of line or overreacting… you call me out. You come to me and talk and help me get better as a person.

You were in the trenches with me when I became a Aggressive, Distrustful person who snapped and was going crazy because I was being stalked. Helped me gain the courage to speak out when I got doxxed by Travis. Stuck with me when I had to change antipsychotic medications and I went absolutely batshit and had to go to the hospital. When I was stuck in bed for nearly two weeks because I was practically almost dying. You guys… for whatever reason. Stuck with me.

You didn’t have to stick around, I never would’ve judged you if you did. But you stuck around, you came to me and laid it all out on the table. You told me when I was being unreasonable or that I was hurting you with my actions. You helped me when you didn’t… really have to.

And you continue to help me, I’m a better person now and I know that. I don’t think I would’ve gotten as better as I am without you.

You support me, you help me when I’m lost or confused, you talk to me… you share Garfield things with me or if I’m upset you send a picture of your dogs or just.. you do so much for me.

I am forever thankful for everything. I’m not good at expressing emotions, I never have been. So perhaps it’s all just nonsense what I’m saying or maybe I’m repeating myself, I don’t know.

But thank you.

For everything.

I love you guys and I wish I could be better at explaining it… that way I’m not dropping a mile long scientific paragraph on you every few months

And a thank you for my Followers as well.

Which sounds like, cocky or something to say. I don’t know, feels weird standing here going “AND TO MY FOLLOWERS” but it’s hm.

ANYWAYS.

Thank you lot for sticking around!

Within the past year and a half I’ve… been different! I cut off all social stuff for the longest time and then went radio silent a lot posting wise. Almost all my blogs kinda went nonexistent. I deleted a lot.

And then I randomly went “hey guys look at this story I’m working on called Jarble. I will tell you absolutely nothing about it.”

But y’all still? Stuck around.

Which I know I’m just like, another guy on the dash posting stuff. So perhaps it isn’t that deep as I’m making it sound? I don’t know.

BUT REGARDLESS. You guys stuck around!

You guys watched as I went insane over a AU that I never said anything about. Which might’ve been annoying when you guys asked and I just never answered because I got self conscious lmaO. Yet you guys still showed interest and shared support!

When I decided to update my blogs again, welcomed me back and showed support when I expressed interest in doing stuff again.

Even welcomed me back when I decided to attempt to be social again and join discord servers! Which was… hard for me and a 1000% awkward! Cuz I went insane and then shuffled back like a fool. Yet! Here I am!

You guys keep supporting me, sending me asks and supporting me and my work despite it all

And I thank you for that! I appreciate it and it makes me feel special when you guys appear to show genuine interest in my dumb characters and stories…

I know I’m just another idiot on the feed, but it means a lot to me that you stick around and glance in my direction.

So all in all

Thank you guys.

To everyone.

End of cooties

Edit: also thanks to my fiancé I guess. Whatever. You’re sitting right across from me and I might throw a cracker at you. But you alright I guess. 🙄🙄 don’t choke on the Turkey BabyGirl

[pinkhor1zon]

i find comfort in you

genre: fluff, comfort

pairing: idol!woonhak x non-idol gn!reader

warnings: nothing but woonhak is playing ow.

word count: 0.6k words

maia’s note: little drabble bcuz it’s woonhak day!! he’s 18 now.. he’s growing up so fast :(( i love unak so much and i hope he has a great day filled w/ lots of love!! also this work is NOT very good and isn’t really proofread but it is cute. enjoy reading!! reblogs and likes are always appreciated 🩶

after a long and exhausting day, this is just what you needed.

there you laid in woonhaks embrace, watching him struggle in his current game of overwatch. “aghh!!” he frustratedly groaned at the screen. him and his team had just lost the objective.

you giggled, observing his reactions. his lips were sealed in a pout and his eyebrows were furrowed together.

“what? is my frustration funny?” he said, keeping his eyes locked on the television.

you smiled, still looking at him, “yes, very.”

he let out a scoff and you ruffled his hair. the whole week you two hadn’t been able to spend time together. he is, of course, an idol preparing for his next comeback, and you’re a student, a hardworking one at that.

you both found passion for your respective careers, that being what bonded you together. but sometimes, this passion can be too strong. and more often than usual, you both become extremely burnt out.

woonhak’s game finishes with a loss and he falls back into the couch, you still in his arms with your head resting on his shoulder.

he isn’t his normal self. usually, when he loses, he’s more dramatic about it and performs some act like falling to his knees or reaching out to the tv screen, but he doesn’t do that. seeing this, you definitely know it’s because he’s too tired.

you hum, “that was a good game.”

he sighs, “it wasn’t. i’m so out of it.”

he looks at you and your faces are just inches away. looking at him like this; you see the dark circles under his eyes and the droopy corners of his mouth.

“woonhak..” you pause until he gives you a look that signals you to continue. “you can talk to me about anything okay? your worries are mine, and even if you don’t want that, it’s uncontrollable.”

“but i don’t want to be a burden to you.”

you give him a reassuring smile, “you could never be a burden to me.” you take his hand and carve little hearts on it. “let’s make a promise. whenever one of us is feeling exhausted or upset, let’s tell each other. we can be each other’s escape, hm?”

he nods, “okay.” woonhak sticks out his pinky finger and you entangle yours into his, locking your promise.

after this he pulls you closer to him, into a full hug. he snuggles his face into the side of your neck and mumbles something. you pull away and look at him with confusion. “what is it?” you ask.

woonhak responds, intertwining both your hands together, “nothing much. i just find comfort in your presence; you in general.”

your face warms up and you smile, but it turns more into a grin.

his cheeks flush, “hey! why are you laughing?”

you shake your head. “you just,” struggling to get the words out from your laughter, “you’re too cute hak!”

woonhak wasn’t a big fan of being called cute, but when you say it, it’s the best compliment he’s ever gotten—especially with that nickname.

“hey.. you can’t just say things like that.” he says, turning his head the other way so you couldn’t see the huge smile on his face.

you notice this and turn your head in that direction so you can see him face to face, leading you both to start bursting with laughter.

“you can’t say anything! i saw you cheesin’!” you say in between laughs.

“no..” he replies, trying to stifle the laughter.

days and weeks go by as woonhak does his idol duties and you go through the school cycle. but throughout those times, you stand by each others side; holding the others hand through it all.

please DO NOT copy, repost, or translate.

[tokiwarcube]

Tattoos

Just some headcanons on what the boys (+Charles!) think of tattoos -- yours, in particular!

Charles Foster Offdensen

One thing about Charles? He appreciates art. And your tattoos are art, in every sense of the word. If pressed, he’d talk about how it’s impressive that you’re willing to sit through the pain for something you find beautiful, and that he admires the uh, the dedication to taking care of it. What he doesn’t say is how he loves watching the images flex and bend to your movements, how the ink accentuates your natural features, how… attractive he really finds them.

He shows it in other ways, though. He’ll trace them with his eyes when you’re not looking… then with his thumbs when you’re lying together… then with his lips as he makes his way down your body.

He very much appreciates a good tattoo.

Nathan Explosion

Nathan goes nuts for lovers with tattoos. Any type, really — something about having the patience to be stabbed with little needles for a couple of hours and then having the willpower and diligence to take care of it afterwards is hot to him, but he also just likes the look of ink on skin. Although truth be told… he’s extremely partial to big black and white pieces.

You’ll often catch him with his hand on a favorite piece, whether it’s an appropriate time for it or not. The man likes ink, what can I say?

Honestly, he'd like to sit in with you someday if you ever end up getting more.

Pickles the Drummer

He’s got a million shitty little stick and pokes of his own, so he absolutely has an appreciation for tattoos! A good amount of them were from fun, drunk adventures with friends, and he looks upon a lot of them fondly because of it, regardless of quality. He does very, very much like yours, though. He has no clue how you’re so damn good with aftercare — Hell, that’s the main reason he hasn’t gotten anything big of his own.

Beware, he will try to sneak a sharpie doodle in somewhere while you’re sleeping someday. You have to accept that you’re gonna find a weed leaf somewhere while you’re showering, and he won’t tell you how long it’s been there for. But by his laughter… probably longer than you’d like to admit.

All that aside though, he finds your (real) tattoos very, very hot. And he’ll happily show his appreciation for them, should you be willing to flaunt them a little behind closed doors.

Skwisgaar Skwigelf

Skwisgaar is such a pansy when it comes to pain, although he’ll never admit it. It doesn’t matter how many times you tell him it really wasn’t that bad — he refuses to believe you. This is just one of many reasons as to why he, personally, will probably never get one himself. (Shame — he’d look fantastic with a bit of ink in his skin, but I digress.) But that’s not to say he doesn’t like them — quite the opposite, actually.

He loves the way they look on you. Art forever embedded in your skin — moving with you, adhering to the contours of your body… he finds them mesmerizing, and yes, hot. You’ll often catch him tracing the lines with his eyes when he thinks you’re not looking.

He might ask about the meanings of them every now and again, but he finds them just as gorgeous whether it’s got a beautiful tale, or if it was a cool flash piece you picked up along the way. Although don’t be fooled — 9 times out of 10, his questions are just a good in to show a little more intimate appreciation for the piece.

Toki Wartooth

He likes tattoos a lot! He thinks about getting some of his own all the time, but honestly, he gets stabbed with needles enough as is — sitting in one place for hours and getting stabbed the whole time? And having to take care of it for weeks after? He’s probably not getting anything done any time soon. But that just means he gets to pour all of that love into yours, right?

Call him cliche, but he loves to color in your tattoos. Honestly, you’re tempted to get more, just to give him more canvas space — it’s very soothing, feeling the cool ink swipe across your skin. He gets very into it too, it’s sweet. The media is forever confused on what color your tattoos actually are, and at this point, you’d hate to break the illusion.

William Murderface

If you think the “Pobody’s Nerfect” tattoo is his only one, you’d be dead wrong — he’s got a million of them littered around his body, basically wherever he can cram ‘em. He’s got a lot of $50 flashes — chosen moreso for the opportunity to get tattoo’d again as opposed to having something he actually likes, but that's not true for all of them! Like his big piece, there's a good handful that he really cherishes, even if they don't always see the light of day.

He’s got some ideas of things he really wants, he’s just had trouble actually rationalizing the cost. He’s weird with money like that. All that is to say though, he loves your tattoos, and that you guys share a love for them! He’d be more than happy to go get one done with you, too — it’d be a good excuse to finally get the ones he really wants, you know?

Although beyond all of this… your tattoos absolutely drive him up a wall beyond closed doors. He thinks they’re unbearably hot, especially the ones that flex and roll with the contours of your body a little more. Flaunt them a bit, and he’s putty in your hands.

[firelightfics]

Work your magic.

Scar x Mage! Healer! Gn! Reader

From this message (CAUSE I FORGOT TO TURN THE ASKS THING ON BEFORE AND REALISED SO LATE 😭)

Warnings: mentions of illness, violence and drug use [not Reader], should be mostly fluff though, banished mage reader, okay.. I kinda gave Reader an adoptive daughter I can't help it I'm sorry.

Extra: The person requested for the reader to be strong, so I went with the route of them being able to create and manipulate detailed and realistic illusions, and their strength is in that sort of field rather than battle strength. So they have a more mental strength and can manipulate dreams although its not really a main point.

DID I NAME SCARS BABY? YES. I NAMED HER RIRI OKAY? ITS CUTE. SHE'S CUTE.

Summary: Y/n, a mage, who has wandered too far from home finds themself under the care of the firelights. Or perhaps the firelights have found themselves in their care. A particular chirean takes interest in their less than typical methods of calming people.

Masterlist.

---

Its been too long since I have seen my family. I come from a place far from here, so far I'm not even sure it is of the same plane of existence. My home feels foreign to me now. Years have passed since I was there. Banishment does tend to keep a person away I suppose.

Since I have wandered to a new home, a place I stumbled upon by chance. No, even that isn't right. I stumbled upon the person running this place is more accurate, he was shielding a small injured girl from harsh weather and clearly manic due to the fear of losing the child in the even harsher city of Zaun. I offered them help as I was nearby enough with a place to stay. I couldn't be more glad that Ekko accepted my help that day, as stubborn as he can be.

Its only been a couple of weeks since such an event, but Flora has healed quickly with my help and has been helping introduce me to the Firelights. She's a sweet girl who now seems rather attatched to me and tends to stick around the medical area that I have taken residence in. Ekko, the leader, has helped me get more comfortable here and I couldn't be happier. Or maybe, I could be happier. I've never tried to be more than just content, its all my family allowed until I tried something new and got myself banished.

In the past few weeks, many people have come to me for assistance. Plenty injured from time out on the streets, a few scraped and scratched children and returning firelights after their dangerous missions. It worries me how many shimmer affected patients I've recieved, this drug is a foreign concept to me still but calming those affected with illusions of things they enjoy seems to solve their aggression for a time until the drug wears out. Healing can only help so much when the wounds are not visible. I find much more difficultly with these patients, but if I weren't up to the challenge I would have left.

-

Flora had just settled in for the night, a small loft area for her to use as she pleases. Although she doesn't have a proper room, I plan to change one of the unused rooms into a proper space for her if she wishes. For particularly gruesome patients, I always ask her to return to her normal room and she does. What a sweetheart. I hum a tune as I pack away balms and bandages to use another day. The quiet is nice with the shadowy atmosphere, few things would dare disturb such a calm. Few, but never zero.

The door is quickly flung on its hinges as Scar, Ekko's seemingly stern right-hand man, bursts into the room, startling me and Flora, who was very nearly drifting off. His eyes are wide with a certain kind of distress only a worried father can display. In his arms is his screaming baby girl, the poor dear clearly unwell. Not a word is said as I take her from his arms and usher her to the nearest and softest place to lay her. Scar seems to shake with terror. He must be almost as frightened as her.

I gently feel her forehead to vaguely check my suspicions of a fever and am pleased to have guessed correctly. I swirl my hands with a dark blue starry mist forming into shapes and animals, floating and playing with one another as a distraction for the poor baby. Her cries seem to dull, if only for a moment. Her concentration taken from what I could only assume to be a headache and placed on a starry fox prancing amongst a now fully formed forest scene. With the distraction working, I quickly gather a child friendly medication for her. Its a sweeter flavour than most but she surely won't mind or care as she is too enraptured by the friendly forest creatures of my hometown.

She doesn't fight or fuss over the medication, simply grumblles a little, and turns back to her little show. However, I'm reminded of another presence when the silence is broken by his ragged breathing. I assume Flora is asleep after the littlest was calmed. I pick her up and move towards where Scar is sat. The larger man looks utterly horrified, his normally steady stance shattered at the thought of his daughter being deathly ill. Luckily, it seems to be not much more than a fever and headache.

"Rough day?" I ask simply as I bounce her lightly in my arms before handing her back to Scar. He sighs as he carefully grips her small form, his lip twitches up in a quick huff of air and smirk paired as one.

"Something like that. Is she going to be okay?" He quickly switches topics to avoid the obvious worry I have forming for him.

"Of course, it doesn't seem like anything serious. No real magic had to be used aside from my little 'puppet show' for her." I gently tickle under her chin, causing her to giggle at the attention. Scar's eyes bounce up to meet mine, and he smiles. Staring into his eyes, I see the clear tiredness of a struggling parent.

"We shou-"

"You should stay." I catch him before he tries to flee. Why is he so against taking a break? If not for his own sake, why not her sake? "I have a cot she can use, and we have spare room for you both it really wouldn't trouble us. To be able to look after her, you need to be able to look after yourself."

He looks down and grimaces but nods and follows while I guide him to one of the spare rooms that are likely to keep longer-term patients, but I've never had that, so they're empty. I bring him to a room with items for caring for babies and a bed big enough for him to sleep nearby. He lays her down so gently that it makes me honestly question what I even know about the man.

"Thank you." Is the last thing spoken between us as I leave for the night.

-

This is the first of a few of our encounters, seemingly becoming more frequent. His eyes always a sharp contrast to their normal rough shape and instead becoming soft around me and little Riri. Maybe a small bit of progress, but it is progress nonetheless.

She quickly recovered and yet Scar was adamant on staying and asking me to care for her when I could, which was admittedly most of the time since the only patient I seem to ever recieve is the vastayan himself. As though he was allowing only himself to take the rougher hits to get treated by me.

The door to the clinic gently clicks open and Scar appears in the room, Flora and Riri are playing in the far corner and I'm reading a worn down book on the counter.

"Pick up time already? My, how the time flies. I-"

"Actually I'd like to stay tonight, if thats okay?"

My face contorts to one of confusion, but I won't lie and say it isn't a pleasant surprise. I simply nod, thinking he'd leave to the room he's basically claimed as his and Riri's. However as he stops he nods me over.

Curious, I follow without any debate. Flora will look out for Riri and knows what she's doing by now. He sighs as he drops to sit on the bed and pats a spot next to him.

"I, I have had trouble sleeping." He grimaces and puts his back against the wall. "I was wondering if you could use those illusions of yours to help me?"

My eyebrows raise, and my mouth falls open slightly. He's asking me to use my magic on him? I was convinced he hated it as he only ever cautiously stared when I'd used it. I thought he was afraid. His brows are pulled together, and he can't meet my eyes, hands placed on his lap in front of him.

"Why would I ever turn down my second best patient?" I grin at him and he looks up confused.

"How am I second?" Almost offended, a fake snarl on his lips but a slight upturn that is barely hiding a smirk.

"Oh poor dear," my hand gingerly raises to meet his cheek, "are you jealous?"

He quickly breaks and chuckles, fake snarl failing completely, instead changing to a weak smile. Oh, so we are like that, I suppose. The grin on my face turns to a full smile that I hope properly conveys the joy that comes with the accidental confession of sorts.

"How could you possibly be jealous of your own daughter? The little thing has been such an angel, why wouldn't she be my number one." I tease knowing it will irk him slightly.

Before I can revel in my slight victory, he gets in close and grabs a hold of my jaw. Eyes meeting mine in an intense stare before quickly pressing his lips to mine. Simple. Yet so impactful. He pulls back and his eyes droop, the tiredness still there yet he seems far more awake somehow.

"Shut up and work your magic, mage. The quicker your done, the quicker we can sleep."

"We? Whoever said I was going to sleep too?"

"Me."

---

OKAY I THINK I LOST THE PLOT OF WHAT I ORIGINALLY WANTED TO DO WITH THIS PROMPT BUT I can't lie, they're cuties still 🤭

I'll be getting through each request one at a time and will post when I open them up again, sorry this took so long (im still reeling from Act 3 ngl but also life is catching up to me so it might be a sec)

[lemotmo]

Just wanted to ask you and Ali, you guys claim Lou was fired, what do you think is the reason he got fired.

Oh Nonny, you are not catching me at the right time for this question.

I have had it with the man and his evil minions. They just do not know when to quit and I've had enough of this inane nonsense.

Listen, I had a really lousy workday today. A full day of pouring energy into a job I love and getting NOTHING in return. Only to get home and to read how these sheep and their evil Overlord are once again trying to be cool and are -once again- missing by a mile! All they are succeeding at is being extremely cringy and highly embarrassing.

Anyway... I feel like our fandom has written novels by now about all the many reasons we think he got fired.

Here's a few of them though:

A plethora of racist, sexist and ableist posts found on his social media.

Giving away too much inside show information in one of his first interviews. Like the fact that it was actually supposed to be Eddie in that storyline, instead of Buck.

Creating thoroughly unprofessional Cameo videos filled with bullsh*t headcanons about how T was loving and sweet and never racist or sexist, oh no... of course not. He was just a sweet misunderstood woobie summer child.🤦‍♀️

Creating thoroughly unprofessional Cameo videos telling people BT were thriving and they would stay strong together. All of this while he KNEW from the beginning that T was only there as a plot device for a short period of time, to serve Buck's narrative.

Creating thoroughly unprofessional Cameo videos on set, effectively SPOILING some things the public wasn't supposed to know yet.

Creating thoroughly unprofessional Cameo videos and charging his disciples loads of money to hear him talk nonsense out of his *ss.

Creating thoroughly unpro... you get where I'm going with this right? But there's more. Let's see. What else? Oh yes!

Not a reason this time, but a consequence: he suddenly stopped making his thoroughly unprofessional Cameo videos from one day to the next, going completely silent on all of his social media for months. BIG RED FLAG THERE! Either his own team stepped in and told him just how unprofessional he was or ABC stepped in to make him stop being so f*cking unprofessional. It's very likely it was ABC and Tim.

Let's find some more reasons now... Oh yes. What about the fact that he obviously did not want to film any kind of intimate scene with another man? He talked about this in one of his first interviews when he was still sane. He felt that 'making out' wasn't necessary in this story or some BS like that. Well, seems like he had no trouble making out with women in other projects. Hmmm... 🤔 They didn't even touch anymore in season 8.

Oh hey, did you notice that there was no love lost at all between the main cast and Lou? There were pictures of everyone BUT him. Again.. I wonder why? Hmmm... such a mystery. Might it be because no one on the cast or crew really liked the man. After all, he was the cause of his fanbase going completely insane, running around threatening and harassing other fans, calling them homophobic, accusing people of doing terrible things by creating fake evidence, harassing the cast and crew to the point that they had to block them and the showrunner had to step in and call them out for their toxicity!

Last but not least that terribly embarassing last interview that he did. Man, I have never felt so much second-hand embarassment as when I was reading that article wannabe article. In this trash article the man praised himself for being a wonderful actor who made some really great choices in those BT scenes. How full of yourself can one possibly be? It's gross. He talked about how he didn't see the ending coming, even though in his first interviews he clearly stated he wasn't going to stick around for long. Make it make sense!🤷‍♀️ In this article he basically says that 911 and Tim did him dirty, causing Tim to have to state -in no uncertain terms- that the BT relationship is over and done with. Aka 'the final nail in the BT coffin'. Aka 'the best day of my life'.

All of his (badly executed) rethoric made sure that his minions started turning on Oliver, calling him homophobic and biphobic, accusing him of all sorts of terrible things. And what about the racism towards Ryan? Can't forget about that horror. I know I'll never forget reading those comments.

Even now, after they finally got rid off him, he is still making his toxic cameo videos spurring his loyal fiends on to keep on hoping that Tommy will return. He knows full well that he is never coming back, but as long as they keep paying him, he'll keep saying what they want to hear. But you know what? All those dumb hashtags won't change the fact that he isn't coming back.

Bottom line? He is gone. Was he fired. Probably yes. We'll never be completely certain, but it's pretty obvious they didn't part in good ways.

Everyone in this fandom is tired, exhausted and depleted of energy because of this man and his cult. We are mostly free of the toxicity now and are slowly returning to the great fandom we were before, theorising and talking about Buddie. Let's keep doing just that: moving on without looking back. Great things lie ahead for us in 8b and season 9. Let's enjoy the win!

As for Lou? I wish for him a main role in his own crappy very unsuccessful TV-show (that will get cancelled after one season). Then all of his stans will follow and we'll finally be fully free.

Well, I have to say... that was cathartic. I needed to get that off my chest. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to rant Nonny. I feel so much better already. 😋

[tinytime10]

I have more head cannons for warriors. Also thank you to everyone who voted on my, (What is the next story I write) vote. “Left in the cold.” is almost done. I'm just finishing up the editing. I should be able to post it soon but for now have some more head cannons centered specifically around the hylein body, and habits that manifest in a physical sense.

All right let's talk ears, Warriors have very expressive ears when he's relaxed and comfortable around the chain. He's very good at stopping his ears from portraying his true emotions when he's around the people he's trying to lie to.

Warriors will rub his ears when he's nervous or upset as a way to calm himself down. It's just one of his ways of self-soothing. Parents will rub their young children's ear to get them to stop crying because it feels good and comforting. So Warriors will do it with a mask when he is having nightmares or otherwise upset. Zelda will kiss the back of Warriors’s ear as a show of affection. Warriors loves it. He also finds the fact that time will kind of nibble at melon's ears and a playful affectionate way super adorable 

I think that the Hylian body is way tougher than the human one. You know how humans have like three layers of skin highlyans have eight. Their bones are just a lot more tough. They have better hearing and night vision but the sense of smell and touch is about the same. 

All of the links share the habit of messing with the back of their hair when they are nervous or embarrassed. I just find it hilarious that literally all of them do it.

 Just like myself, Warriors will comfort himself by hugging his middle. He absolutely hates other people touching his sides or his waste. But he'll hug his middle because it makes him feel more secure. During the war he wrapped his waist tightly with bandages, because that pressure feels comforting. After the war he wears a corset for medical reasons, that was actually a thing way back when. The Physicians made him one after the war to help with his injuries. He just kind of wears it all the time under his clothing. Cuz it's really easy to stealth the corset when his uniform is already so baggy.

 Speaking of uniforms, he is walking around in about 30 lb worth of chainmail. He has like 8 layers. an undershirt and trousers, a gambeson, chainmail, the Green Heroes Tunic, his armor, and his scarf. One side effect of all of these layers is the way they fall, he has extremely feminine hips because he cinches his belt so tight and his hip bones stick out so much anyway because he's so thin. The way the chainmail lays smooths out his figure, giving him extremely feminine hips.

 On that note he mastered that Mom hip carry. You know what I mean, where Mom will just stick out one hip a little further and rest the baby on it. He would carry Mask around all day, going about his duties in the war camp. Mask either loved it or hated it depending on the day. He frequently was made fun of by his own soldiers and a lot by his commanding officers.  He was called a Teen Mom for years he leaned into the title as a joke and it weirdly stuck, to the point where mask and tune would accidentally call him mom on occasion. Time will make a lot of jokes about Warriors being the mom friend during the linked universe adventure. He'll just start acting like the whole chain are his rowdy sons.

Warriors would never undress in front of any one of the chain for a very long time. Long after his facade cracked he still refused to let them see him even take his gloves off. He was fine with everyone else but not himself. At one point he is injured very badly and is unconscious. To Times utter consternation and aggressive objections, Twilight and Sky make the decision to leap over that boundary they know he has and undress him to get to his wound and save his life. When he wakes up shirtless and bound in bandages, the rest of his brothers have a lot of concerned questions. His brothers are smart enough to know what scars were earned from battle and what scars were done by his own hand.

 He has to explain his bad habits, and promise that he's getting better and not hurting himself very much anymore. Of course his brothers are horrified and heartbroken that the perfect captain they'd all grown to love had such terrible scars on his arms  and his chest there are scratch marks on his sides that only some of the older members of the chain recognized as being done by Hylian nails not the claws of monsters. Cia left her marks on him and Sky tried to ask about them but Time shot him down quicker than Warriors could.

 Another discovery they made that day was that Warriors has two tattoos. One, an eating disorder progress tattoo  and One he shares with time. He, Masks and Tune got matching tattoos at the end of the war. Wind is too young to have his, but he is the one who designed it during the war. It is a sword stabbed into the waves of the ocean, around the hill is tied a ribbon with the Kokiri symbol. A design meant to incorporate all three of the war brothers. 

Before the war the captain was a wild child, Impa punished him severely because that seemed to be the only way he would listen. There is a patch on his upper arm that is a mess of perfectly lined up scars overlapping years of punishment. It was a comin military punishment for drinking, 2 small cuts to the arm, not meant to really do any real damage just enough to hurt. Every time he drinks on duty he adds to that number of scars. Which is far too many to count by the time he joins the chain. 

Warriors is extremely suicidal at the beginning of LU. Even though he tries to hide it from his brothers, his sense of humor is extremely dark and twisted. Time and strangely enough Legends are the only ones who seem to really understand his darker humor. he makes jokes about suicide or self-harm a lot. They thought it was just jokes so when his brother's saw the scars themselves, they knew a lot of the methods he'd used against himself by that point, just from the jokes he'd made.

 Four Will aggressively braid comb and demand they wash their hair and bodies frequently see the last  repost for better clarification on why. He does this with the whole chain except for Warriors. Four is understanding about the fact that Warriors hates having his hair touched by other people. So Four takes meticulous care of Warriors’s gear. He’ll ask to oil and maintain Warriors’s weapons for him. He will service his shield and armor because if the captain takes care of himself so meticulously, Four will do the same for his gear, as a way of showing his friendship and care.

 All right, that's everything I can think of now. Thank you to the like two or three people who actually care. Us Warriors fans are starved for content. My fellow Hyrule Warriors fans I bring sustenance.

[gaiuskamilah]

pleeeeeaaaase tell me more about aerin being groomed by the dreadlord !!! (analyses, headcanons, anything you want)

minor spoilers for b3 ahead! also cw for discussions of grooming and canon-typical abuse, a brief mention of rape, mentions of books where rape & grooming are big topics (lolita & my dark vanessa). this got really long lol

so it's pretty much established that aerin was already very much isolated from people at a young age due to a number of factors, his fear of and abuse by baldur (and arlan) being the primary reason for that. he was also a meek and shy child who wasn't as popular in court compared to baldur. aurinae also died early in aerin's life, leaving him without the one figure who actually cared about him.

all this contributes to aerin being extremely vulnerable to the dreadlord. (minor spoiler) in b3 aerin mentions that he was nine when the dreadlord first started speaking to him. when you're a young vulnerable child like him, it's easy to fall prey to someone who seems like they have your best interests at heart. his family was either dead or resented him, he's the spare who people don't care about - the dreadlord's promises sound really good! we only got little of the dreadlord himself throughout the books, but i like to think the dreadlord did not actually care about him, only using him as a means to an end as he was a vulnerable child in a position the dreadlord can exploit.

(spoiler) aerin also mentions that the nerada stone was given to him after an incident where he accidentally used shadow, and that most shadow magic was done with the dreadlord's help. to me, the giving of the nerada stone is like a predator going "don't tell anyone, it's our little secret, okay?" i like to think this little secret between the two of them makes aerin feel special, and wanting for more, even if keeping the secret very physically hurts him (as mentioned in b1). what a lot of people don't seem to understand is that a lot of the times groomers make their victims feel special, and that causes a lot of mixed feelings from the POV of the victim. they do genuinely start to love their abusers, and from that line of thinking i like to think that aerin similarly has complicated feelings for the dreadlord (as does nia have for the temple of light, kamilah & adrian for gaius, etc etc).

with all this done i also like to build more on the idea of aerin's isolation. another thing that tends to be ignored is how the structures around the victim actually assist in perpetuating and providing avenues for the abuse to happen. in lolita (i keep mentioning this book on my blog, lolitapilled forever i fear), humbert tells dolores that she has nowhere else to go, that if she reported it to authorities etc they would shame her and mark as rotten forever and insitutionalize her and she'd never have a normal life ever again -

“While I stand gripping the bars, you, happy neglected child, will be given a choice of various dwelling places, all more or less the same, the correctional school, the reformatory, the juvenile detention home, or one of those admirable girls’ protectories where you knit things, and sing hymns, and have rancid pancakes on Sundays. ... if we two are found out, you will be analyzed and institutionalized, my pet, c’est tout. You will dwell, my Lolita will dwell (come here, my brown flower) with thirty-nine other dopes in a dirty dormitory (no, allow me, please) under the supervision of hideous matrons. ... Don’t you think that under the circumstances Dolores Haze had better stick to her old man?”

which he isn't exactly wrong about! if aerin had opened up to the people around him about what was going on, what would they do? if he went to his family, they'd shun and hate him even more. if he went to the temple, they'd brand him a heretic and also shame him even more (minor spoiler again-in b3, this is what is implied to have happened to nia). none of these institutions, the family & the church, would have ever had his well being at heart. they are the same institutions which shunned (family) him in the first place and would have shunned (church) him anyway because he didn't and wouldn't have been able to live to their ideals. again, family and religion aren't ontologically pure things - they're institutions which often exist to perpetuate the status quo.

that's to say that i personally hc that aerin has a lot of mixed feelings for the dreadlord. taking this line from my dark vanessa (also a book i love so much) -

“It only accelerated after that, once he knew I was ok with it—and isn’t that what consent is, always being asked what you want? Did I want him to kiss me? Did I want him to touch me? Did I want him to fuck me? Slowly guided into the fire—why is everyone so scared to admit how good that can feel? To be groomed is to be loved and handled like a precious, delicate thing.”

the thing is, aerin did want the things the dreadlord seemed to promise. no one else was left to treat him nicely. he loved that the dreadlord could give him the power to change his circumstances. and it felt good! he admits in b2 that he didn't regret killing baldur! him wanting that doesn't make him any less of a victim, but i think a lot of discussions around this tend to overlook this feeling, because it's a lot less easier to swallow than the typical Huge Evil Perpetrator/100% Unwilling Victim narrative that tends to get pushed around a lot. (i also don't like how people seem to be assigning morality to grooming. anyone can be groomed, and acting like the victims always have to conform to this perfect standard does not help at all actually)

so. anyway. i'd love more things/discussions about aerin and an interpretation where his feelings for the dreadlord are more complicated. where he accepts that the dreadlord took advantage of him, but he also can't find it in himself to FULLY hate the dreadlord, that sometimes he misses the dreadlord, sometimes he can't stand to remember how the dreadlord physically hurt him for over a decade in order to keep their little secret (can be read as a rape, imo, though it's not as overt as the dreadlord literally taking nia's body, which @puredoesnotmeankind @livelaughlovecassie and i like to read it as). the dreadlord potentially holding the fact that he was the one who's helping and "caring for" aerin over aerin's head. complicated feelings!! messy interpretations that are more true to complex human feelings and whatnot. i'd love that.

[sunshinemoonrx]

Part 2: The Alternatives

You thought you were safe just because it's been a couple months? No. Let's talk about the skirtless alternatives some seasons go for.

Neutral: just not gendering the suits in their basic construction is perfectly respectable, creates uniformity which is better for some designs, and is arguably less sexist; although as established we're not so much analysing the social implications here so much as what makes me swoon. Skirtless teams were a regular option earlier than you might think, with Goranger, Dynaman and Fiveman (and Sun Vulcan, but that doesn't count). Though it would be hard to argue that for instance the Momoranger suit isn't still very feminine. Just like with skirts, there's different colour schemes for the pants/leggings style: most commonly they use the main suit's solid colour or black, but white is also occasionally used. Which I prefer is contextual and I think they usually pick well for the individual design, though how rare white is makes me fond of it. I don't think Dynaman would be many peoples' thought for "hot sentai suits", but in motion those leggings are really flattering.

The leotard look: Part of what gives the Bioman/Changeman/Flashman trilogy its unique feeling, but it's still wild to me they've never gone back to it (the closest would be those male Jetman suits). But I'm biased, of course; if you know me, you know that I love those shows and that I love a space leotard. I do genuinely think it's a very fun silhouette compared with the long-pants look; but from a sex appeal perspective, there's something really magical to how much you can suggest with the same material by just moving a few lines around. Change Mermaid is a perennial favourite of Japanese suitfuckers for a reason. This is mostly for Changeman and Flashman, where everything is very clean and sleek and sexy, whereas Bioman is a bit more clunky by comparison, they were still working that aesthetic out and were leaning into the gadgetry theme besides. But I've come around on them recently, and it must be said the Bioman suits are using the "colours representing upper and lower layers" effect I talked about before to emulate long socks and gloves (on all five rangers!) in a way the other two aren't.

(Stray thought, but if you put a helmet on Farah Cat she'd look like a pretty convincing evil Flashman)

Bare leg: oh Battle Fever, you strange show, you. Like a lot of people, I don't really think these suits are, uh, good, per se? The big eyes and plastic hairpieces are a little haunting. Miss America especially, well, she's definitely distinctive, having both the only full-on wig and the only bare legs (in close-ups at least) in the whole sentai series. But again, memorable doesn't necessarily mean good. Still, I actually do think it would be cool to go back and explore the partial suit look sometime; if not often. After all, the complete enclosure of the human form is part of the sentai suit appeal. (I actually think exposed skin stands out less on more layered designs--Riderman and Tackle look unusual next to other Riders, but not as unusual as Miss America in a pink ranger lineup, imo)

Accessories: This is mostly a post about the actual suit construction, but as an addendum I do wanna mention that very occasionally the girl suits will have earrings, and honestly, that's never worked for me, because uh, the helmets don't have ears. Momoranger's are kind of charming in a clunky way, like the Goranger suits in general, and the fact they're detachable bombs does help. The crystalline Maskman ones actually would look pretty good in another season, but that team in particular look so good entirely because of how sleek and no-nonsense their design is. Having these objects sticking out of the helmet breaks that up. Rare point against those designs for me.

In conclusion: I'm glad we alternate between approaches, but bring the leotards back into that rotation. Three is not enough. Also keep doing the thigh-highs thing. Yes there will be one more of these, no I will not promise when.

Okay so Skirts on Sentai Suits

Part of a tokusatsu 20 questions going around recently was "do you like skirts on sentai suits?" Here's the thing: Not all skirts were created equal.

(Preface to all this: I know I am going to be unruly suit-horny here so for the record, give them to the boys too. Obviously.)

Broadly there are four colour schemes:

Suit is all its primary colour, including skirt (e.g. Ryusoulger, Denjiman)

Suit body and skirt are primary colour, legs are secondary colour (black or white) (e.g. Gokaiger, Dairanger)

Suit body is primary colour, skirt and legs are secondary colour (e.g. Goseiger, Liveman)

Suit body and skirt are primary colour, legs on the non-skirted suits are also primary colour, but legs on this suit are a secondary colour--THIS IS THE HOT STUFF BABY LET ME EXPLAIN WHY

Okay so it's about "something hidden" or "something you're not supposed to see". If the skirt and legs are the same colour, it all registers as the same 'layer'. If you have a pink/blue/whatever skirt over black or white legs, that more suggests "clothing over body". However...

The non-skirted suits also have black legs, right? So clearly, that colour/layer is also "okay to see". Symbolically, that's black pants. (Of course, tokusatsu suits aren't only hot in imitating the human form. But we're talking about tight bodysuits in this post, not big sexy monsters, so follow me here.)

But if you've got a skirt over black/white legs, and the non-skirted suits have solid-colour legs...now that's a symbolically "lower" layer than the 'costume' shape.

So thank god for ninjas. See, in Hurricane the solid colour is the 'clothing', and the grey is 'beneath'; the shoulders of the sleeves emphasise this (contrasted with the Gouraigers' black pants, whereas even they have grey sleeves). In other words, that's a colour that has to be covered on certain body parts to be 'appropriate', like skin does. In Ninnin, solid colour is 'clothing' and black is 'beneath'--extra emphasised by the thigh-highs, which as I recently posted about, Jesus Fucking Hell.

Like, this is all an illusion. Obviously, the colour 'beneath' is just a bodysuit. ShiroNinger's black legs under there look exactly the same as, say, ShinkenRed's. And let's not forget, nice legs in a tight bodysuit are nice in and of themselves. But the concealment...the suggestion of something forbidden...the whole colour scheme lining up to reinforce this...(And well, Hurricane Blue does even have blue 'panties' under there...which again, if you took away the skirt would just make the blue a leotard-style shape like the Flashman etc. suits and not feel like underwear at all, but the fact that it's hidden and you get brief flashes...)

Interestingly, there's a third season that achieves this effect a different way--Jetman:

Now, all the suits here have secondary-colour legs--but uniquely in all of sentai, here the boys get a short-shorts/leotard/something shape, not too far off the girls in, say, Bioman. This means that at least for the lower body, white is an 'underlying' colour (or pink for White Swan, a common colour-scheme-swap for white rangers in a team with white as a secondary colour). So you do get the layered/"this colour has to be hidden above the thigh so it's intriguing" effect...sort of...the upper-body colour scheme confuses this and makes it hard to equate it to an outfit shape, as I also recently posted about. (And ofc, imitating an outfit is not the only objective of a sentai suit--the Jetman suits look great!)

Potentially post 1/3 if I can be bothered to post the other two. Yes there is more to say about this. Yes you will get my opinion on every single team in the third one if I do. Yes there is something wrong with me

[erdariel]

I hate how much of scrolling tumblr is just like. Seeing people yell about the next piece of horrible news from somewhere in the world, probably also guilt tripping you about scrolling past it/not paying attention. People begging for their lives, they need money or they and their families are going to die - money that I do not have to spare, and I wouldn't have the time or emotional energy to try and check if they're a real person in need or a scammer anyway. Oh and yet another celebrity, maybe someone I've never even heard of or maybe someone whose work I've admired for years, turns out to have done something horrible! USAmericans arguing with each other about if voting in the next elections is even worth it, and I'm once again grimly reminded that I'm not american, I don't have a vote, and yet the result of the election is likely to have consequence on life in my country (and even more consequence on many other countries out there) too. People from my country either complaining about or venting their frustration through jokes about our idiot government. The faint echoes of some stupid fandom drama. Someone telling me that if I don't pay attention to a post/do something about whichever bad thing somewhere out there is the current piece of news, I'm literally the worst person ever. And oh do you wanna hear what bigoted bullshit JKRowling is spewing this time???

And it's just. I don't even know. I'm just tired. Like I know it's the consequence of living in a world that's pretty fucked for a lot of people, but I can barely even keep my own life together and generally I already see from actual news media all the bad things that are happening currently. And just. I would like to not have to play whackamole with tag blocking and still have it only help maybe half the time. And I know it's not something I can feasibly make happen without unfollowing a lot of friends whose other posts I generally want to see, but just... I would love to have even this one place for unwinding, for seeing funny stuff and thinking and talking about my favorite characters and stories, without having to be constantly reminded of all the bad things.

Like, I already know shit's fucked. Could I not just have a break

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

"See you tomorrow"

MDZS Disco Elysium AU part 4 [prev parts]

[samarecharm]

tw disordered eating (not in explicit detail)

Whenever i write Yusuke and his relationship w the thieves, i try to emphasize that Yusuke was in a really really Really bad space not only mentally (like the others) but physically; hes bone-stick thin and you can feel his ribs jutting out if you go for a hug. Hes a bit gaunt in the face and hes got next to no muscle mass. He tires easily and hes kind of a shit fighter bc of it. The metaverse fills in the gaps a little bit, but his body is still very frail and unprepared to transition to an active lifestyle after years of surviving off of such a bare bones calorie diet. For my Akira, it is the driving force behind wanting to takedown Madarame; hes a sucker for a pretty face but hes also unable to look away from someone actively wasting away because of the actions of their guardian.

If any of them try to mention Yusukes physical state or diet, he often deflects, angrily, reminding them that he is abnormally tall, and that that obviously contributes to his thin (frail) stature. Its very hard to get him to eat while theyre in saferooms, and he often lags behind while exploring the museum. He cant stay in combat for too long, and at some point, Akira debates if he should even allow Yusuke to stay on the team; if he passed out or Worse under Akiras watch, hed never forgive himself.

BUT. As the thieves gain his trust, Yusukes a bit more willing to indulge them. He learns quickly that they arent pitying him like he initially assumed (he is far too aware of how much he feels like hes neglected his own body; and how others can easily see that neglect). They routinely eat and hang together bc thats just how they bond, and theyre just trying to invite him into their circle properly. Akira has zero experience w this kind of thing, but Ryuji and Ann are athletes and models respectively; theyre both in fields that encourage that kind of self destructive behavior, and they have some kind of insight into how to avoid falling for those same traps, and helping people who Do end up in those scenarios.

(Anns parents, despite their absence, do their best to prepare her for how cutthroat the modeling world is; to keep her from developing the kind of habits and mindsets that let young men and women destroy themselves. ESPECIALLY bc my Ann is a plus sized model. And Ryuji, as a promising track star, would know how bad it can get for professional athletes, the lengths at which theyd go to maintain their positions and ability to compete. Hes a gym rat who loves food and nutrition and knows what he needs to keep himself fit, and thats all he really needs)

They cant feed Yusuke the way they WANT to bc hes already so thin, so they just let him take from their plates to sample things and let him feel included. He starts taking up Ryujis offers to go get meals together, even is Ryuji ends up taking almost an entire extra serving home as takeout. He lets Ann drag him away to the crepe shop and her other little snack havens, even if he only leaves w a small chocolate of sorts to take home. He lets Akira make coffee and curry for them to split when he comes to Leblanc. And maybe he lets Sojiro cook a full plate for him to take back home to eat at his leisure and away from prying eyes. Yusuke goes from bitter to extraordinarily fond rather quick, and he finds himself angry that this is yet another thing Madarame has stolen from him.

By Futabas palace, hes filled out enough that Akira doesnt immediately panic when Yusuke gets tossed onto the floor by some brute of a shadow, worried that hed shattered every goddamn bone in his body on impact. He doesnt have any real muscle by any means but his face has the faintest bit of cheek fat that Ann is able to pinch w her evil little hands, and when he looks in the mirror, the ribs peek out but they dont jut out. His breathing is better, his skin is just Pale and not Ghostly white, hes got a healthy flush when he laughs at Akiras stupid puns, and he finds himself allocating a bit more of his budget towards stocking his fridge. Sometimes, Akira can even convince him to people-watch out in the sun instead of in the subway tunnels.

At some point, Yusuke becomes very vocal about things he wants, but importantly, about Food he wants. He will eagerly allow his friends to treat him if they ask, and he picks whatever sounds nice to his ears or whatever Ann and Ryuji recommend him. Part of it is due to him feeling safe enough to ask for such things; the thieves kinda laugh about his eccentricity and forwardness, but Akira, Ann and Ryuji know how different and comfortable this Yusuke is compared to the one they met. Its silly but its good; he gets to act like this bc the thieves let him be forward- they let him voice his wants and needs without a fight.

By post game, hes got the barest hint of a tummy pouch, and Ann will attack it relentless with a firm poke whenever hes foolish enough to stretch and lift his shirt to expose it. She thinks its cute 😭 Shes really happy to see it, bc she thinks of Yusuke all skin and bones and angry and scared like a feral dog barking mad, lashing out at any help they offered and working himself sick (figuratively and literally) trying to help make things right. It makes her so sad recalling it, so she likes to remind herself that hes okay now, even if hes a little embarrassed by it. She knows Akira and Ryuji do the same, inviting Yusuke to hang and just see him w their Own eyes that hes better, and that they did the right thing by insisting he join their little ragtag group.

[ganondoodle]

i often really do feel like an .. unwanted part of the fandom, i dont draw beautiful landscapes, i have unpopular but strong opinions im constantly annoying about and rarely change, dont like/dont draw the pretty young popular twinks and hot gurls to fanboi over nor do i turn characters into one, the opposite moreso, draw only one ship no ones heard of really, got little energy to interact with the few people that are nice to me and send me asks so it probably looks like im ignoring everyone and unfortunately but still rarely get so stressed i get overwhelmed and emotional about pehaps seemingly minor things and spiral almost into a breakdown feeling super embarrassed about it afterwards but the damage is already done and i look like a freak or agressive weirdo