#but i need some kind of express permission to approach them

[chaisarinawat]

Chai went utterly still as he confessed that he was happy to be with P'Dan, in work settings and non-work settings, hoping that he wasn't overstepping his boundaries. When he saw the small smile appear on Dan's face though, he relaxed considerably - as long as P'Dan wasn't mad at him or disgusted with him or trying to push him away again, he'd be fine. And seeing his boss smile at him had the young assistant's heart beating even faster, because Dan was so handsome when he smiled. It was such a rare sight to see too, since his boss usually wore a stern or nondescript expression.

Dan reached out to brush Chai's cheek with his hand, after Chai had indicated he was comfortable with P'Dan touching him. Then, Dan's hand slowly fell to where Chai was resting his own, touching each one of his fingers.

"Is this okay?"

Chai nodded, feeling warm all over. Dan asking him, making sure - it was so considerate. Something Chai didn't have in his past relationship. P'Korn just did what he wanted, whenever he wanted, leaving Chai with a sense of dread whenever the man tried to reach for him. But Dan asking permission was just another reminder at how different his boss was to the other kinds of men that attempted to touch Chai, filling him with nothing but respect towards the man.

He allowed Dan to explore his hand, touching the palm and the veins and his fingers, before his boss spoke again.

"Thank you, for giving me a chance to prove myself. I - wanted you to know I care about you and although you said you do have feelings for me, too, I'd - I'd like to give you time. To think about things. To make sure how you feel. I'm not going to rush you and I want you to take your time. Until you're ready to give me your answer. Whatever it maybe in the end. I'd be very happy to stay friends. I hope you'll let me help you once in a while and if you need advice or anything at all, just know you can talk to me."

Chai stared up at Dan in wonder, his eyes wide and shining with hope as a small smile stretched across his face. Everything that Dan was saying was warming Chai's heart. Giving him time to let him think, not rushing him, reminding him that he cared - even saying he'd be happy if they remained friends. He was approaching Chai like a proper Phi, another person who Chai felt like he could trust and rely on, allowing him the space and time to think about what he wanted without having a fear of Dan being angry or mad at him.

"I'd like that Phi," Chai said, squeezing Dan's hands. "I like that a lot. I want to try that with you." The younger assistant glanced down at their connected hands, noticing how Dan's grip was firm enough so that they wouldn't be released, but not rough or forceful, his actions matching his words well. "I hope you know you can talk to me too, about anything Phi."

As Chai finished his sentence, he felt his throat tighten and soon a light yawn escaped him. His eyes squeezed shut for a moment, and when he opened them again they were a little droopy. He had slept for a few hours, but it hadn't been enough and he was still tired.

"Are you sleepy? You should probably go back to sleep. I - should probably move back to my bed, huh?"

Chai nodded at Dan's question. "Yeah, Phi. We should sleep. You sound a lot better but you're still recovering, and rest will be good for you. Stay here, in my bed. I'll move over to yours. Or..." Chai grew quiet, gazing down again at how Dan's hands were clasping his. They had been sleeping on the same bed before, and it had been fine. Chai slept in the same bed as his friend P'War, and it was fine. Neither of them really had to move.

"Let's just both sleep here?" Chai suggested shyly. He truly meant 'sleep', and figured that with how considerate Dan was being the other would understand that it wasn't some kind of code for anything else. Chai already felt comfortable with P'Dan after their conversation, and he knew that Dan wouldn't do anything that would go back on his word. "Lie down Phi. I'll sleep next to you."

Chai lowered himself from his seated position into one where he was lying down, careful not to do anything to separate his hand from Dan's. The mattress was soft and the blanket he slipped into was still warm, making it the perfect condition for him to sleep. His droopy eyes slipped close as he huddled next to Dan, glad to have a body beside him - he had gotten used to it since War moved in, and he found it much easier to sleep when he wasn't alone. "Goodnight Phi." Chai whispered to the other in the darkness, drifting off into dreamland with a smile on his face and with P'Dan's hand holding onto his.

END

Chai's nervousness was growing, becoming apparent with every passing second after his confession to Dan. He was waiting for the other to shut him down, or re-establish their boundaries as boss and assistant, or even tell him they needed to suppress their feelings for one another because it was an inappropriate situation. Chai didn't know what he was scared of more - putting his heart on the line again, or being outright rejected.

Or maybe, he was scared of something else. Chai's second job was nothing like what he did for Dan - but he needed to be there, otherwise khun Debt Collector... he'd just keep adding more to the money Chai owed. Chai had promised to work for the man until his debt was cleared, and his job involved being touched and enjoyed by men - if Dan found out... Chai was sure he'd feel disgusted with him. And so Chai was hesitating, wanting this development with Dan to happen, but finding himself held back for a multitude of reasons. His past abuse with P'Korn, his current boss-assistant relationship with the man he liked, and his predicament of being employed at The Playroom.

"Nong. Can - I touch you?"

Dan's hand reached out, pausing mid-air before making contact with Chai's skin. The young assistant nodded his consent, no longer afraid of Dan's touch, having become familiar with the feeling of closeness with him these past couple of days.

"Look at me…"

Chai's eyes drifted up to Dan's, the younger man still tentative as to the status of their relationship at the moment as he waited for his boss to continue talking.

"Please, don't say things just because… Just because you feel you have to. I - told you I like you because I want to be honest with you. I'm not expecting you to reciprocate… I want you to be true to what you feel… I want you to be genuine… I want you to be happy… And not worried. Or scared. I - never want you to be scared of me ever again…"

Chai felt his heart soften at those words. They were so tender, and genuine, and kind - words that Chai hadn't heard from anyone he was interested in. His friends of course were amazing - P'Rachi and P'War and P'Aisoon, they all showed their love and support for Chai in various ways, and he adored and loved each and every one of them in return - but romantically, it was a different story. P'Korn hadn't even told Chai such things - about wanting him to be happy, about wanting him not to worry, or be scared. Hearing Dan say specifically that he didn't want Chai to ever be scared of him again was how the younger man knew the other wasn't trying to play with him like P'Korn had. Dan was... he was nothing like Chai's ex. He was the total opposite.

"I want to be honest too P'Dan," Chai said. "That's why I told you everything, about how I'm feeling. And I'm not scared of you anymore. I was happy to work with you these past few days - b-but I'm also really happy to just be with you, Phi. And not just for work." Chai told him, leaning closer. "You wanted to touch me, Phi?" He asked softly. "You can. You can touch me."

[transbian-vergil]

like this if I can send you pictures of my armored core for answer AC. it comes with free rambling.

[anashins]

Pairing: lawyer!Jaehyun x divorcée!reader

Genre: age gap, drama, romance, smut

Word Count: 24k

Summary: Jaehyun has a ruthless, cruel and not so legal way of getting his clients everything they want out of their divorce. After all, to do the job right, a lawyer like him is not supposed to believe something like 'love' exists in the first place. That is until he meets his next client who also has a not so legal way of creeping right into his heart and make him question all his morals.

A/N: Man, I miss Jaehyun :( D-541

“I want to divorce my husband.”

Jaehyun hadn’t spared you, the young woman who had been following him since the lobby, a single glance, purposefully ignoring every word you were trying to direct at him as he walked hurriedly and steadily to the elevators. 

He was already running late that morning thanks to a fight with the parking attendant since apparently, his permission for the parkade had run out last night. And now, an annoying woman blocking the elevator doors after he had gotten in and hindering Jaehyun from reaching his office’s floor was a bit of a stretch at this ungodly hour. Eventually, he couldn’t ignore your existence anymore. 

“Move,” he demanded, annoyed.

“I won’t,” you objected.

Pressing the ‘close’-button over and over again, Jaehyun rolled his eyes at your perseverance as not even the heavy doors hitting your arms could chase you away. He stared at you, observing the persistence mirrored in your eyes as you pushed the doors aside again. He silently gave you credit for that.

“I want to divorce my husband,” you said again. “And I need you to successfully do so!”

Jaehyun let his eyes wander as you had piqued his interest ultimately. Your stubborn spirit reminded him a little bit of himself. But only a little bit. He examined you thoroughly. You were dressed elegantly in a pencil skirt, blouse and high heels. No wrinkles in your clothes, hair tidily pulled out of your face, not a strand out of order. You dressed like the average woman approaching him for his help: trophy wives in their thirties up to fifties, trapped in a marriage that was falling apart for always one and the same reason,

the lack of love.

In these kinds of marriages, mutual love rarely existed anymore. It was the same pattern again and again: The woman went blindly and head over heels in love into the marriage and throughout time, got frustrated with their lives as their marriage turned out entirely different from what they had imagined. The husband was almost never at home, business was always more important, and rarely did a case not involve cheating. 

A person who had once been a naive woman in love had usually changed into a vengeful wife who wanted to take her husband to the cleaners by the time they consulted Jaehyun’s law firm. After all, they didn’t believe in love anymore, and that was why his job was so easy, and even a little bit of fun.

But there was one difference that made you stand out significantly from all of his past clients, Jaehyun silently remarked to himself as his gaze stopped on your face: You were young. So, so young.

“Divorce your husband?” he repeated your words. “Aren’t you too young to be married for long enough yet?”

Your expression darkened, but he took it as a challenge. It wouldn’t be the first time he clashed with a potential client. As a matter of fact, it wouldn’t be a successful case for him if his client wouldn’t start hating him at some point - and then preaching him to the heavens when he got them all they had asked for in the process, and more.

“Do you want this case or not?” you retorted. “I promise, you won’t regret it.”

Jaehyun raised a brow. Straightforward and witty. He hadn’t expected that from an early twenty-something. Perhaps, he should pay weight to your words, the fact that he wouldn’t regret it. Judging by your age alone, there was surely more to the story, and he was curious to get under the surface of it all.

Jaehyun removed his hand from the ‘close’-button while simultaneously a moment of relief flashed through his face - along with a grin. 

The door stayed open as he asked, “How long have you been married for?”

“Two and a half years.”

That was nothing.

“Is there a prenup?”

“Yes.”

As always.

“What’s your husband’s name?”

You hesitated.

In a lot of cases, Jaehyun knew his client’s spouses just by their name. Wives of CEOs, chairmen, actors, doctors, politicians, investors … they all came to him.

“Kang Seungmin.”

Jaehyun almost visibly took in an exasperated breather.

“Kang Seungmin who is related to the Aewha Group?”

You nodded. “His older brother is the CEO.”

Pause.

“Be here tomorrow, 8am.”

____

You remembered the day you got married like it was yesterday. 

You weren’t wearing your dream wedding dress. 

Your dress was a designer that your husband’s mother had picked out. It had been too voluminous, too heavy, and it hadn’t suited your style at all. Your makeup had made it hard for you to recognize yourself and they had put too many extensions in your hair. But that was what they had wanted you to look like - and you had complied.

It wasn’t your dream wedding venue. 

It had taken place at the Shilla Hotel and you hadn’t had any say in the decoration, it was all white and beige when you had wanted sprinkles of purple, your favorite color. The cake was vanilla flavored when you had wanted blueberry, and the program had involved a choir, not a band. But that was what they had wanted the reception to be like - and you had complied.

Your friends and family weren’t there. 

You hadn’t known a single person at the wedding except for your future husband’s family. When you had been sitting there, feeling lonely and left out, there was no one you could have turned to, no familiar and friendly face. Your guests were all only business partners and your new family’s friends - and you had complied.

You had never felt so lonely in your life like on the day that was supposed to be the happiest day of your life. But you had complied with everything, because you had been so, so in love.

And what was left of that now?

“So, Mrs. Kang,” Mr. Jeong started the next morning after you had appeared in front of his office at 8am sharp. “After you have filled out all the information about you and your husband, I just want to know one thing…”

“Which is…?”

You hoped he didn’t notice how you kept your shaking legs in place with your palms pressing on top of your thighs. You knew exactly what was coming and you were prepared for that, but it always made you nervous, regardless of how many times someone would bring this topic up. And it happened almost every time.

“What is it that you’re after?”

You were confused. That wasn’t what you had expected. “Pardon me?”

The lawyer took off his glasses with which he had previously read through your information carefully and put them next to him on the desk. Then, he propped his elbows against the table and leaned in to you. It was very intimidating as if he wanted to look straight into your soul to detect every lie that could possibly pass your lips.

But there was nothing for you to lie about.

“What do you want out of this marriage, Mrs. Kang?” he carefully elaborated. “Money? The house? Company shares? I can get you everything.”

“In all honesty, Mr. Jeong,” you admitted, “I don’t want any of his money, belongings, mansions and company shares. I just want to get out of this marriage and never be involved with this family again. That’s all I want.”

He let out a long sigh and closed the file with your information.

“Are you… done?” you asked.

“Yes. With you.”

“Excuse me?”

“You don’t want anything? No money, no mansions, no company shares? Then, where is the thrill? What do you need me for?” The lawyer leaned back in his seat and crossed his arms behind his head. “I think it’s better for you to look for another lawyer.”

“His material possessions were not the reason I was trying to find consultation with you.” You stayed calm and didn’t want to get irritated by his change in demeanor. “I grew up wealthy already, Mr. Jeong. I’m not dependent on his money. When I turned eighteen, I inherited the trust fund my parents had opened up for me the day I was born. It’s enough to live comfortably until… well, the end of my days.”

“So, you are two wealthy people who have married and you don’t want to take anything from him just out of spite. According to the law, the trust fund still rightfully belongs to you as it had been handed over to you prior to your marriage.” If he was confused by your statement, then he didn’t let it slip. “So, what is it that makes divorcing him so difficult then, Mrs. Kang? What is it that you’re after, exactly? I know there is something after all.”

“It’s not what I’m after. It’s what he is after.” You reached down to your bag, pulling out a file that you then attentively placed on the lawyer’s desk. “Here is a copy of my prenup. Please open page 35. I highlighted the most important parts.”

He put back on his glasses and opened the documents at the respective page. You visibly saw his brows furrow at the paragraph that you had pointed out.

“So, it’s the other way around. In case of a divorce, it’s not him who will lose everything,” the lawyer concluded. “But you will lose everything, and it will be all transcribed to him. Your trust fund money, your possessions, everything from before your marriage even…” He stilled. “Just… everything.”

“Exactly.”

“I’m sorry Mrs. Kang, but…” He looked at you in utter disbelief. And the worst thing was that you couldn’t even blame him. You were very ashamed of yourself, too. “How could you have even signed this in the first place? I have never seen a prenup like this in my entire career. But then again, I've only been practicing in my own law firm for a short few years….”

He was straightforward with a certain sharpness lying on his tongue that tended to take a derogatory way at times. This lawyer had surely seen so much already, but according to his words, this must just be an entire new level of naiveness he hadn’t encountered ever before.

“I was young and in love.” 

There was certainly no other explanation you wanted to give him yet, even though he was looking at you expectantly, waiting for you to elaborate the decision and specifically the situation you had been in when signing this agreement. But again, you had to disappoint him. You would have still signed the papers if the circumstances had been different, you were certain of that. Why would it matter if you left out an additional reason?

The lawyer let out a long sigh. It was like you could hear his thoughts in your own mind: Such a naive, stupid girl, getting married so young and signing away all her rights just to be with a powerful man forever, out of blinded love. You endured it like so many other things in your life.

“Love.” He snorted, confirming your thoughts, and closed the marriage contract with a thud. “It’s absolutely good for nothing. You clients prove it to me every time.”

You tilted your head. “Just because I’m getting divorced doesn’t mean I don’t believe in love anymore, Mr. Jeong. Those are two very different things.”

“I’m aware of the fact that my clients almost all get married out of love like you,” he corrected himself strictly and made his standpoint clear to you. “Now, wanting a divorce from the person who you once had such strong feelings for… how can you still believe in something that has failed you so thoroughly?”

“But love hasn’t failed me,” you objected. “It’s the person who failed me. And just because that certain man has let me down, doesn’t mean someone else will, too. There is not only one person in the world to love. I’m not going to say I hate all men and will never meet someone I can open myself up to again, Mr. Jeong. I suppose that’s what the majority of people who come here say to you, am I right? But I won’t. There are people in their fifties finding love all over again, so if I have to wait another thirty years just to experience the same, I will willingly do so. I will never give up hope, I won’t let spite devour me whole. I will wait for my time to come.”

He had fallen into silence and his gaze was impenetrable while you kept talking and eventually came to an end. The Lawyer was either baffled by your naivete once again, or you had sincerely taken him by surprise and the usually so witty man for once, since your meeting, didn’t know what to reply.

“You’re so full of positivity, Mrs. Kang, it almost makes me feel sick. Where is your anger, your vengefulness?” he eventually responded, and you felt a wave of disappointment wash over you. “But since you don’t seem to have my clients’ usual bitterness and grimness to drive by, we will rely on your insolent positivity to win this case. Or stupidness, depending on how you view your case.”

You had never been so subtly attacked and complimented at the same time, but since it was coming from the ruthless attorney himself, you put more weight on the latter. “Whatever works for me, I guess.”

He folded his forearms on the table and leaned forward, closer to you, narrowing his eyes before he almost whispered, “But there is one thing I always demand from my clients to win a case and my trust eventually. Without this certain thing, you will lose both.”

You inhaled deeply in expectation. “And that is…?”

“The entire truth.” The response was so simple, but you sensed there was more depth in it. “If I ask you something, you’re going to tell me the truth. You cannot conceal or hide anything. There cannot be a detail that you consider too irrelevant or something that you consider too embarrassing to tell me. You will tell me everything I ask for and not ask for, are we clear?”

At this moment, you felt like he was staring right into your soul, marking this a make it or break it point for your business relationship. If you lied, would he be able to detect right away? Or was he bluffing and only wanted to intimidate you? Had he already sensed that you had left out an important aspect in your marriage?

“We are very much clear.”

A grin flashed across his face, making you frown. “Very well. Then I need you to do the exact opposite.” 

“The opposite? Then… I should lie?”

“Exactly. And please don’t hit me with the ‘I cannot lie, I’m a sincere person, I cannot hurt someone’ bullshit. We don’t do that here. In order to win what you want, you have to play dirty. Be honest with me, but when I need you to lie and do reprehensible things, you have to comply. Do you think you can do this, little miss sunshine? Or are we way too sincere and positive for that?”

“I’m sorry, if you mean playing dirty do yo-”

“Can you do that?” he interrupted you. “This is the only thing I need to know. Can you play dirty when I need you to?”

This shouldn’t surprise you. Deep down, you had always known what kind of lawyer he was. Everyone knew. That was why you had eventually seeked out for him. You couldn’t win this case on your own or with any lawyer, it had to be him. You had tried so hard and had approached not only attorneys in this city, but all over the country - to no avail.

This lawyer was your last resort, and never had you thought you would go this far. But if you had to lie and play dirty if asked to break free from your golden cage, then that was what you were going to do.

If you had to play dirty to see your family again, then you would do so.

You gulped, but still brought out, “I can do that.”

Even though it came reluctantly, he still believed you and said with a satisfied smile, “Very well, ma’am.”

_____

“So, this is the golden cage that you’re always referring to.” Your lawyer stood in the lobby, inspecting the entrance location. “Interesting.”

It was an odd sight for you - to have your divorce lawyer, who was technically still a stranger even after meeting a few times in his firm, in the home that you were sharing with your husband. But then again, in these two and a half years here together, your house had always been filled with only strangers and people you weren’t fond of, so this wasn’t quite a new experience.

Your home was a multistory penthouse in a high rise building in one the city’s wealthiest neighborhood, because another quarter was a degradation for your husband’s family’s status. It was all too modernly and minimalistically designed with no touch of personal memories in the form of pictures or belongings. The furniture was too clean, the art too abstract, the rooms too empty. It had always felt more like a museum rather than a home for you - grand, impressive and utterly overwhelming.

You had spent days endlessly wandering between the floors and looking out of the gigantic window across the river out of which one side of the penthouse was entirely crafted, spanning over two levels. This was the only thing you liked about your home as it was easier to dream yourself away while watching the sunset. Many times, you had imagined living on the other side of the river, too. Where it wasn’t all filled with stuck up millionaires, people too focused on changing their appearances and overall shallowness.

You had tried so hard to connect with this life, but even though you had grown up wealthily on this side of the river as well, there was one thing you were missing but had been showered with all throughout your childhood right until your marriage: love, comfort, warmth.

“I wonder how much this is?”

Your lawyer had picked up an ornate porcelain vase from the side table and threw it into the air. Your heart nearly stopped as you watched the decor flying off and gasped. Reaching out your hands, you tried to catch the vase yourself, but a moment later, it was landing safely in your lawyer’s hands again, who then turned to you, grinning.

“I guess it's very expensive,” he concluded.

You yanked the vase out of his hands and returned it to where it belonged. “Don’t do that again! This decor is finely picked out by my in-laws, and if there is only one vase slightly out of arrangement or one single statue looking in the wrong direction when they come over - which is almost every day - hell will break loose.”

He threw his head back and laughed. “That’s exactly what I imagined after what you told me about them. How can someone endure living here anyway?”

“I’m tougher than you think, Mr. Jeong.”

“Hm.” His eyes then fell on your appearance and scanned you up and down. “At first glance, you look like you totally belong here with your pantsuit and perfectly styled hair.”

“Just because I look like I belong here, doesn’t mean I do, Mr. Jeong.”

“Wise words for someone so young who doesn’t always make wise decisions, ma’am.”

You exhaled deeply. “Can we get over this as quickly as possible? You came here for a reason, right? Let’s get seated on the living room and-”

“Seats won’t be necessary,” he waved off. “You have to show me around your home.”

“And why would I have to do that?”

“Your husband is overseas on a business trip you’ve said, and I have to get a picture of the physical possessions, with how much money we’re dealing with apart from bank accounts, shares and all that stuff.”

“I see, that makes sense. But nothing here belongs to me, though.”

“That’s even better.” He turned around. “Which room is that?”

“The living room.”

“Great. Let’s start there.” Your lawyer entered the area as though he knew the place by heart while questioning, “You mentioned your in-laws visit here every day, Mrs. Kang?”

“Almost,” you partially affirmed while following him. “I guess they can’t let go of their son… and their need to control me.”

“What would they need to control about you? Are you somehow involved in their business?”

Your lawyer looked around in the gigantic living room that faced the panorama window reaching from the ground to the ceiling on the second floor. The sofa was placed in the middle of the area, right in a pit that was accessible by two steps built into the ground, encircling a marble coffee table probably worth a single-family house. Right next to it was a billiard table, most likely valuable just as much. This was going to be a very long evening, considering the inventory and the prices.

“I’m not involved in their business, Mr. Jeong.” You paused for a short while, invisible struggling with something inwardly. But you came to the conclusion that if you couldn’t tell your attorney, who then? “In fact, I’m secretly building my own one.”

“Oh?” He raised a brow. “Which kind of business?”

You remained silent for a few moments until he shifted to you and looked at you with inquiring eyes. “A bridal shop.”

You had already prepared a few witty responses, because whenever you told people about your business idea, they started laughing at you. Especially your in-laws. They had laughed at you so hard and shrugged your idea off immediately that you had never brought it up to them ever again. And your husband? He hadn’t even acknowledged it. You were not allowed to work in this marriage anyway.

That was why you almost desperately needed to win this case and all your money back - to fulfill your dream and reunite with your family. You could do that. That was how much you believed in yourself. Just nobody else ever did.

“So you like wedding dresses, ma’am?” your lawyer asked almost in passing, but there was no mocking undertone in his voice. “Somehow very ironic for someone who’s filing for divorce, don’t you think?”

“It’s my passion, Mr. Jeong.”

“How come?”

“I told you I will always have hope and I will always believe in love. That’s what I want to pass on as a message to someone like me. Someone who has found the love of their life, no matter for the first, second or third time, someone full of hope and brightness. Just because you haven’t experienced it yet or because one love has ended, doesn’t mean you’ll never experience this special kind of connection ever. It makes me happy to be part of something so significant. It keeps me going, it keeps me… hopeful, you know.”

“So you want to be part of other people’s special day to keep the thought alive that one day, you will still find the love of your life?” 

You clicked your tongue over the fact that everything coming out of his mouth sounded so… negative. “If you want to put it like this… I rather see it as an opportunity to share your happiness with equal minded people.”

“Why wedding dresses and not flowers then? Isn’t it more fulfilling to bring joy to people’s everyday life with flowers they give someone else most of the time?”

“You’re right, Mr. Jeong.” You smiled as you did not disagree with each other on this topic. “But my mother is a fashion designer and my father is an art dealer, so that’s the natural trajectory of my life. I love fashion, even if it doesn’t look like it. But there is only very little you can experiment with style-wise when all eyes are on you and you have to keep up a certain reputation according to your in-laws. I hide a lot of pent-up creativity not many people know of.”

“Oh, who would have guessed you’re not always all pantsuits and pencil skirts, Mrs. Kang.” He shrugged. “So you truly believe in it?”

“In what?”

“In love that lasts a lifetime.”

“As I said, Mr. Jeong… if we cease to believe in love… what is there to live for?”

"Wealth. Popularity. Freedom. Fun.” He snickered, but not in a way in which he made fun of you. He was more impressed by his own funny answer.

“But you have no one to share this with. Doesn’t your happiness then only last for so long?”

“Oh, I do have people to share this all with. Just because finding love is not my priority doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy the company of beautiful women.”

You let out a deep sigh, but he shrugged your reaction off. Despite that, you had ended the topic on a  good note, because for the very first time ever, you were allowed to talk about your passion without getting cut off immediately.

By that time, you had already arrived at the kitchen. It was an impressively wide, open room made of expensive white marble which appeared unused for ages as it was spotless and shiny. As a matter of fact, just as it appeared, it was never used by anyone in this family - that much was true. This kitchen functioned only as a showroom when the family had guests over to lay out the appetizers and the buffet.

“So you have people who cook for you?” your lawyer concluded.

“It’s a personal cook that has gotten hired, yes.”

He shook his head in disbelief. “Must be nice being rich, having people cook and clean for you every day.”

“Trust me, Mr. Jeong,” you opposed, “it’s not all that.”

You both then continued on to the second floor, and you could see him turning more and more impressed with the fact how your house was furnished. Not only the first floor was luxurious, but every other room as well. If there was something touching the ground or the walls, one could be sure that its worth came at least close to a small car, from furniture to decoration.

“Do you have to go in there?” you pressed through gritted teeth, and your lawyer rolled his eyes as you both stood in front of the closed master bedroom. “It’s a private area and there is not much inside.”

“Unless you have some secret toys lying out in the open, there is nothing to be ashamed of, we all know what’s going on in bedrooms, don’t we, Mrs. Kang?”

He grinned, unaware of the fact that there hadn’t been something going on in this bedroom for at least a year already. You also suppressed a gasp about his unhinged comment that was not very gentleman-like. But you also weren’t surprised your divorce lawyer, who always told you to play dirty, would leave dirty comments as well. You would just ignore them like the lady you got trained to represent.

“I guess you’re not sharing the bedroom anymore?” your lawyer asked as he wandered around in your private chamber after having opened the space.

“What has this got anything to do with my divorce?” you wanted to know, slightly enraged.

“A lot. If you can confirm that you haven’t shared a bed in quite a time, it’s easier to believe that your marriage has been in the shambles for so long and not a decision simply made overnight.”

“Divorce is never a decision simply made overnight, Mr. Jeong,” you clarified, but he corrected you instantly, 

“I didn’t mean it that way, Mrs. Kang. You will wonder how many clients come to me directly the day after they caught their partner cheating and change their minds to return to them a few days later. I want to know how serious you are and that it’s not a decision made on an impulse.”

“I don’t love my husband anymore, Mr. Jeong. Isn’t my tone sincere enough, my expression when I talk about my failed marriage? The fact I go through these lengths at my age?” Your voice got louder and louder, but he didn’t interfere. “But if you need to know about that part of my life too, then yes, I can confirm that my husband and I haven’t shared this bed for a little over a year already as he’s sleeping in his office.”

“Relax, okay?” he comforted you as you had ended your speech. “I was only asking.”

You dropped your head, suddenly ashamed of your slight blow up. “I’m sorry. That’s not… I’m usually not like this.”

“Don’t worry about it. It’s normal to feel all these emotions going through a divorce. Sometimes, you need a ventil. It won’t be the last time that you talk to me like that, so let it all out. You’ll be surprised how much it helps.”

He was right, you thought to yourself, feeling a little bit lighter around your chest. But to your disadvantage, you bathed in that moment for a second too long and missed your lawyer opening another door in your bedroom of which he had probably assumed was your walk-in-closet.

“No, don-”

You stretched out your hand and wanted to reach him, but you weren’t fast enough and could only watch the door swing open, revealing a small room next to the bedroom that was certainly too spacious to only be a closet.

Instead, what he found in the room was a crib by the window where dim light was making its way through half-closed curtains. A light shade of yellow had been chosen for the tapestry, matching the beige carpet while the remaining furniture such as the changing unit and the crib itself were white. A few pictures on the walls added a playful undertone to the room, but that was it.

“I was only allowed to choose the pictures,” you explained recently as you slowly approached him. “They are sunflowers in different shapes. You know what sunflowers stand for?” You smiled meekly. “They stand for happiness and joy. This room should have brought me happiness and joy, but instead, it gave me years of sadness.”

He didn’t ask. Perhaps, he could figure it out himself as you had neither mentioned nor brought a child to your appointments with him. If not, then he sensed it wasn’t the right time to push the topic just yet.

“Let’s go,” your lawyer eventually exclaimed and closed the door behind him. “Let’s make your living room a bit messy when I unpack my laptop and we note down the cost of every item in here. That’s gonna be fun!”

He sometimes came off as rude and uncouth, but he knew when to stop talking.

_____

“What’s that?” You unpacked the plastic bag in front of you and pulled out a black long sleeve, black pants, black sneakers and a black beanie as you unsuccessfully attempted to crack a joke, “Were black clothes on sale today?”

“Those are your clothes for tonight.”

“If you haven't noticed yet, Mr. Jeong…” You looked down on yourself. “My style is classic, elegant. Not streetstyle, not coquette, or whatever this is. I’m still representing the family I married into and cannot wear this.”

“I’m sorry, but black cashmere sweaters were not on sale today, ma’am,” your lawyer said, and as you drew a closer look at him, you noticed that he was dressed all in black already too, and not in his usual suit, but more casual, even wearing a beanie himself. “Now undress and change into the clothes that I brought.”

“What would I wear this for?” You lifted up your hands and pulled up the pants. You usually never wore pants. “Where are we going? To the club? I don’t go to clubs.”

“No, we’re going to your house.”

“And why would we need these clothes if we’re going there?”

Somehow, you sensed you wouldn’t like the answer at all. “Because we’re going to rob you.”

“I- I don’t understand. Robbing… me? My home? While I’m there?”

“No.” Your lawyer came over to you, took the beanie out of the bag and then put it on your own head. He pulled the ends down into your face, messing up your slick bun so that a few strands stuck into your forehead. “Fits you perfectly.”

“Do you mean…”

The corners of his lips tilted up. “Exactly. You’re going to rob your own house.”

“Are you nuts?!”

“Ma’am, these words out of your mouth?” He snickered. “Change into the new clothes and then we can go.”

“What should this be good for?”

“It sounds cliche, but you really can’t see people who dress in black in the dark very clearly.”

“No, I mean robbing my home. What should that be good for?”

“Ah, that.” He scratched the back of his head. “When there is nothing of value in the house, then there are no items to fight over, hence less work for us. You said you didn’t care about his possessions, right? Then he won’t have anything left in the morning. We’re only going to grab jewelry and this kind of stuff for you to keep or sell. Just out of spite.”

You gasped in shock. “That’s illegal! I’m pretty sure that’s even a crime!”

“I can guarantee you,” he confirmed, “this is a crime on paper. Remember you told me you could play dirty?”

When you had agreed on playing dirty when it was needed, you had hoped that it was only a formality, that he was exaggerating or just wanted to test your willpower. You had never expected you both standing in front of your dark home in the middle of the night, dressed up as robbers just to do exactly that: commit a robbery.

With your arms crossed to hide your shaking limbs, you looked around nervously, sending a quick prayer to the heavens. Even though you lived on the highest floor and had used several backdoors through the building so that no one would know you had even entered in the first place, you still felt the risk of getting caught any second.

“This doesn’t help me at all,” your lawyer complained while handling the entrance door with different tools that made noises and left traces a little too obvious for your liking. 

“There is CCTV everywhere here and you just ruined the door’s frame,” you whispered in agony. “When my husband reports the robbery, they will check the time and date and then see us somewhere!”

“Do you think it’s my first time doing this?” he answered calmly while the door then opened smoothly with almost no sound. You furrowed your brows in question and wondered. Wasn’t the alarm supposed to go off? With a smug smile, your lawyer arose from his position and pushed the door entirely open. “Of course I had let the entire grid be turned off.”

You blinked in confusion. “How?”

“Again, you’ll wonder how far one comes in this country with just a little bribery.”

“That’s not very ethical,” you chided.

“You know what’s not ethical either?” He locked eyes with you. “Your husband taking all the money that’s legally yours from before your marriage, leaving you with no seed capital to start anew, with no prospects. Yes, it’s in the prenup, but what gives him the right to rob you like that just because it’s written on some piece of paper? Ma’am, the world is not a fair place,” he said confidently. “Sometimes, you just have to accept that. So, let’s go on a robbery.”

Your eyes narrowed, your nervosity completely wiped by now. “Let’s start with his office on the ground floor. I know he has some very expensive jewelry stored openly in there.”

Your lawyer’s grin widened. “Perfect.”

He had destroyed the door in a way that carried evidence of forced entry for the police investigation. On your way to the suggested room, you moved through the living area as well, and your lawyer had made it his mission to throw over some chairs and a small side table that had once carried some valuable crystal figurines that your mother in law liked to collect. They then all laid shattered on the floor.

“That was crystal!” you cried out. “Do you know how much it was worth? That was not necessary!”

“We’re on a robbery, not on a shopping trip at Tiffany’s,” he groaned. “Do robbers look like they care about some figurines? They come in a hurry and take everything valuable they can get in a short amount of time. They want the big stuff, gold, silver, money, jewelry… they don’t care for porcelain, vases… or whatever this was, things that are too big and break easily. Remember, we’re robbers, we have to make it look like we don’t care. Now, show me where he keeps his valuables stored.”

“There is way too much valuable stuff. How are we supposed to carry all of it?”

“We won’t.”

Your lawyer moved to the huge cabinet in the living area, stopped there for a moment, and then threw his entire body against the furniture. You let out a loud gasp, and another one as he pushed against the cabinet one more time, bringing it to a fall along with the pieces that were stored inside, instantly shattering in the process. The noise was immense and you had to cover your ears. He might not look like it in his suit, but now that he was only wearing a rather tight shirt, you noticed that your lawyer was very well built and that this was the reason why the cabinet hadn’t stood a chance from the beginning. 

He let out a “Phew!” as he turned to you and wiped over his forehead. “You can take on destroying his files and papers, just everything important to him. Let me handle this physical stuff. Don't worry, I made sure the neighbors on the floor beneath weren’t there tonight.”

You understood why you had to do this. If there weren’t many valuable items you had to fight over, the higher would be the chance they would let you off with your own money and the less time and nerves it would take to finalize the divorce, yet the sentiments that tied you to this place…

… they were nonexistent.

Opening all of your husband’s cabinets, rummaging through them and pulling stuff out just to scatter them everywhere felt somewhat very satisfying. You saw all his important files and papers on the ground and stomped on them like a maniac. Everything he worked so hard for, everything he owned while trying to steal from you simultaneously like he had done all your life already. Back in the days, you had just been too young and naive to notice.

You had held back so much during all this time and had never found a way to verbalize your feelings. A lady didn’t do that. A lady was always graceful and just endured. Right now though, you didn’t feel very ladylike. And it was the best feeling in so long.

You only stopped when your lawyer stood there next to you, arms folded across his chest, and there was an edge of mocking delight in his voice when he asked, “You’re done already?”

You lowered your head as he had caught you red-handed, but you also couldn’t wipe off the faint beam that remained on your lips even when he started rummaging through your husband’s cabinets in search of the watches you had told him were stored in there.

“I wasn’t aware he has such a large collection of the most expensive watches in the world,” your lawyer commented when he lightened up a drawer with the flashlight. “If I keep one to myself, would he notice? But then again, he won’t see any of these again anyway. So maybe I should ask you?”

You let out a long sigh and grabbed the watch from him that you then threw into the bag that he had brought along with. “That’s not funny. I think you make enough money to buy yourself an expensive watch.”

“Not this brand, but well…”

You rolled your eyes and continued with the sham robbery on the lower floor before moving on to the second. It was easy to destroy your own belongings as well. You didn’t feel any sentiment as you had expected. Over time, you had grown so resentful, at this point, you just really didn’t care anymore, except for…

“Don’t. Not inside there!” You threw yourself against the door your lawyer had initiated to open. There was no way he didn’t know what kind of room this was after his last visit, so he went in there with a purpose. As you lifted your head, a flash of empathy crossed his face, but you stopped your pleading gaze from breaking eye contact with him. “Please…”

You had been wrong. There was still something your sentiments were tied to in this place, the room where your baby should have lived.

“I’m sorry,” you heard him tell you with the lowest and softest form of tone he had ever addressed you with. “But if we leave this room out, then something is off. We have to at least rummage-”

Your front teeth pressed into your lower lip as you struggled with either making way for him or fighting him. You had hoped that, regardless of how much time had already passed, your past could always remain here as long as you kept this room locked up - just as your memories.

Letting another person inside would mean you had to close this chapter. And even if your therapist back then had also advised you to change this room into another event space and move on, you had never brought your heart to agree to that. What would happen if you moved out eventually? Wasn’t this the best opportunity to finally take this step? But it came so sudden…

“Can I still keep something?” you asked timidly. “My husband never entered this room, so he wouldn't miss anything, and I know what you want to say… I understand. Just please… one thing I can keep for myself? Maybe a jumper or a toy…”

It took a long while until he shrugged and eventually said, “You know… I don’t think there are robbers this cruel who would destroy a baby room. I mean…” He opened the door, but didn’t go inside. “No one would hide valuable possessions inside here anyway. Let’s go.”

“Thank you,” you whispered, and you wondered whether your tone could even carry a tiny fragment of the relief you were feeling right now to your lawyer, expressing how grateful you were for his understanding and gentleness, even though in his world, it might not make much sense at all. 

If he noticed the depth of your gratitude after all, with him risking your scam just to leave you this tiny piece of sentiment, then he didn’t bother showing you.

“Now off to my favorite part… the safe!”

“We won’t reach what’s inside there,” you warned him. “I even doubt his beloved mother knows the passcode to that.”

“Oh, we won’t get to steal what’s inside. But we will try. Ever used a crowbar to hit against something? It’s fun! Letting out a little anger. You’ll like it.”

Oh, how much you indeed came to like it.

____

“Very well.”

Your lawyer seemingly skimmed over the police report before he placed it aside on his desk, deeming it as done. Only a week after the incident, you had brought him a copy of the official papers that your husband had filed to confirm that everything was going according to plan.

After your fake robbery, you had pretended to arrive at home and called your husband in feigned shock that sounded so real over the phone, you nearly believed it yourself. Since he had been in a neighboring city only, he had arrived two hours later, and the performance you had put on in front of him and the police was nearly Oscar-worthy.

“Then, you only have to sign this.” Your lawyer had pulled out another set of documents from a staple on this desk and slid them over to you. “Exactly here, please.”

“What is this?” You read something about a bank in a whole other country that was unfamiliar to you, and a bank account under a name that was unfamiliar, too. “I cannot sign for another person.”

“I know. That’s why you will sign as this person whose name the account is booked under.”

“That’s not legal, I could go to jail for that!”

“This again?” your lawyer groaned. “This is the bank account onto which we will transfer all your money and hide it from your husband and his family. It is required for you to make sure you will keep your inheritance. It will take a few weeks, because of course we can’t just book your whole trust fund money onto another bank from one day to the other, it will take a few steps.”

“So basically money laundering,” you concluded cautiously.

“That’s the legal term, yes. I would describe it as…” He pursed his lips as though he was really thinking hard to come up with something. “Playing hide and seek. It’s suddenly gone and you don’t know exactly how long it will take, but eventually, you’ll always find it.”

You rolled your eyes, but signed the papers nonetheless.

“Very well. Now, grab your purse,” your lawyer summoned while he was taking off his glasses and arose from his chair. “We’re going to celebrate.”

“Celebrate? Celebrate what?”

“This success.” He put on his suit coat, circled his desk and picked up your purse from the chair next to you himself, thrusting it into your lap as you hadn’t made any move to reach for it yourself.. 

“Okay, but where?”

“Can you drink?”

“Not really.”

“Very well, then I’ll teach you.”

You reluctantly got up from your seat as you suspiciously asked, “Is this something you do with all your clients, Mr. Jeong?”

You were only able to watch his back when he opened the door and admitted, “Only with the ones I like.”

While you were still pondering whether his words had been a compliment, he had decided to take you to a shady bar, at a part of the city where you would never set foot in. It was dim and smelled strongly of smoke. The majority of the guests were male, there was a billiard table in the center, and on the menu were only beer and harder beverages.

“This is not the kind of establishment I usually frequent, Mr. Jeong,” you judged harshly while you struggled to find a comfortable position on the bar stool next to your lawyer.

“No, I don’t think you frequent any bar at all.” He had let himself plop on the stool next to you, took off his jacket and ordered two drinks you hadn’t heard of and neither ever sipped on before. “I purposely brought you here. You thought we were going to visit some kind of fancy rooftop hotel bar? Sorry to disappoint you.”

You scanned your environment with raised brows and a look that made men look back at you - but not in the open kind way. They were rather skeptical and curious. Your lawyer was still the best dressed here, everyone else was wearing casual clothes like they had just hopped by after work. They sensed you didn’t belong here, their faces spoke volumes.

“Don’t worry, these guys are harmless and actually nice. They just want a good drink and company before heading home alone, back to their dark and lonely room. It’s just… they don’t see women here that often.”

“I figured that much. What is this place even? Why are we here, Mr. Jeong?”

“It's a place to have fun! Try having fun, will you? Here.” He slid one of the two glasses the barkeeper had just dropped off on the counter closer to you. “Drink. Maybe this will help you to finally loosen up. And drop the ‘Mr. Jeong’-stuff, we’re off duty now.”

You knew there was no way you could say no, and even though you were doubtfully sniffing on the drink, trying to guess what it could be, you had to empty it under your lawyer’s watchful eyes.

“Oh my god!” You were coughing while your entire face heated up. You felt the liquid burning through your throat, making its way all the way to your stomach and settling there with a heat you had rarely encountered before. “What is this?!”

“It’s a drink to have fun! Are you having fun yet?”

“No!”

“Very well.” He downed his own beverage and then raised his hand. “Barkeeper, we need another two of these.”

You didn’t know how long it took for your perception of time to start shifting. You also didn’t know why you didn’t stop drinking, and certainly not why you didn’t say no. He wouldn’t have forced you, that much you were certain of. Maybe it was because you were truly weak. But maybe, in some kind of twisted circumstance, you were truly starting to have fun.

“Here, hold this.” You thrusted your purse and your jacket into Jaehyun’s hands. “I can’t look at this misery any longer.”

You rolled up the sleeves of your blouse and opened the first two buttons before - suddenly feeling not too hot and cramped in your own skin anymore - you strutted over to the men who had gathered around the billiard table, ready to start another set of games.

“May I join?” you asked into the round and earned many curious looks back. “Trust me guys, I’m really good at this.”

You had played billiard in your home so often, it started to bore you the better you got at this game. And with time, it had started to really dread you, because there had never been anyone to play with the many hours a day had to offer. 

“Miss, I don’t think-”

“Let her.” You didn’t see him, but you felt Jaehyun’s presence right behind you. Your chest swelled with confidence and pride. “She said she can do it, so let her.”

The men threw questioning looks at each other, but it didn’t take them too long until they all agreed to let you join, and one of them handed a queue over to you. “Ladies first.”

If your confidence had rooted from the alcohol you had chugged earlier, its effect was starting to lack now, because suddenly, you didn’t feel so full of yourself anymore. You bowed down lightly and positioned yourself on one side of the table. You usually started here, playing at home, but abruptly, you got so nervous with all these men looking at you with a certain edge of judgment they were unsuccessfully trying to conceal. 

If you failed the game’s opening, there would be no coming back from it, the momentum missed. You would play bad and they would all make fun of you. Maybe it would be better if you just backed down now…

“Well, well, well…”

You felt a palm on your lower back as you made attempts to arise from your position, keeping you in place as the hand gently pressed against the push upwards that you made. Jaehyun was preventing you from giving up.

He bowed down to you and whispered into your ear, “You don’t have to impress anyone. Just loosen up, let it go and have fun.”

You closed your eyes and breathed in deeply. He didn’t retreat his hand when you opened them again and angled the queue. He didn’t retreat his hand when you pulled back and pushed into the billiard balls. He only retreated his hand when you turned around to him, throwing your arms around his neck to celebrate that you had immediately put three balls into the holes.

You didn’t know when your hair had loosened and now fell in soft waves around your shoulders. You didn’t know when you had opened a third and fourth button on your blouse, revealing a bit of your undershirt. You also had lost count of the amount of drinks you had already downed the further the night processed.

But what you knew was that you had incredible fun.

“Did you see that, Jaehyun?” You were jumping up and down in front of him after winning another game against one of the bar visitors. “I won again!”

“Yes.” He smiled softly, like you had never seen before. “Well done.”

You tilted your head, your lipstick long gone, your cheeks heated. “It suits you so well, Jaehyun.”

“What?”

“That smile.” You beamed back. “Maybe you should wear this expression more often than that scorny grin. I like this one better.”

You couldn’t clearly see in the dim lightning, but you could swear you caught his ears turn red, and it was incredibly cute.

“Alright, brandy blossom,” Jaehyun then called out after you had won another game. “Time to go home before your hubby returns.”

“Already?” you pursed your lips and put down the queue. 

“You don’t want to be caught reeking of alcohol, all disheveled, right?”

You gasped and stemmed your hands against your hips. “Of course not! Just… another round, please? I need to properly say goodbye to my new friends.”

He gave in, knowing he didn’t stand a chance against the sad face you and the men you had been playing with pulled all at once.

Seemingly annoyed, Jaehyun sighed. “But just one.”

____

“Jaehyun, everything is spinning.” You leaned against him while he put an arm around you and kept you on your feet as you entered the elevator. “And I feel sick.”

“That’s my fault. I shouldn’t have let you play another round and have a last farewell drink with the other guests.” He pressed the button and watched the door close in front of you both.

“But I had so much fun,” you said as you looked for support by stemming yourself against the elevator wall. “I can’t remember the last time I’ve had this much fun. I would do it all over again. Can we do this again sometime, please… Jaehyun?”

You didn’t know if Jaehyun ever replied to that as you closed your eyes and drifted away. You were moving, that much you knew, or was it all in your memory as well? You didn’t use your own body, but felt like you were being carried, not having to put your feet down. You were floating and a slight breeze pulling on the ends of your hair strands suggested that somewhere, a window must have opened, and then you fell…

… but on a soft cloud.

Your eyes reluctantly opened and you saw Jaehyun bending over you, worry sketched all over his face.

“Thank god!” he exclaimed in relief. “I thought you were passed out.”

“I feel so sweaty and smelly, Jaehyun,” you complained to him, starting to unbutton your blouse’s remaining buttons. “I have to change.”

“I’ll bring you the bathrobe.” But he wasn’t able to leave your side as your hand reached out to him and locked him down with a tight grip around his wrist.

“Please don’t go,” you whined, very much under the influence. “I don’t wanna be alone.”

“I won’t”, he spoke with a voice so gently, even in this state you wondered if it was the same person you spoke to about your divorce. You felt a palm touching your temple, swiping away a few hair strands. “I’ll just bring you a fresh bathrobe.”

Still, you refused and shook your head. “Please stay.”

It didn’t take him a second to answer, “Fine, I’ll stay.”

You drew a deep breather, staring at the half-darkened ceiling that was semi blurry in your drunken state. Only a small light was on, somewhere in the corner. Perhaps, it was the alcohol speaking the following words, but suddenly, you got so sad and hid your face by placing your forearm on your head. 

“Actually, you know… I’m so scared of getting divorced.”

“Why is that?”

“I’m scared that I’ll be alone all my life, after all.”

This time, Jaehyun’s answer took him much longer as if he was carefully thinking about each word. “You’re the most fascinating woman I’ve ever encountered. You won’t be having any struggles attracting men who are handsome and treat you well, I’m sure about that. Just this time, choose widely.”

“I don’t think I want to get married so fast again,” you confessed. “I think next time, I will take it slow. I want to get a degree and open my business first. Then, I want to get married again.”

“That sounds very reasonable. You hadn’t had a chance to enjoy your youth much.”

“But I don’t want one night stands, flings, short-lived encounters…” You dared to peek from under your arm and eventually withdrew it from your face to look at Jaehyun properly. “What if I meet my true love during that time? Will he wait until I’m ready?”

He spoke with confident sincerity that was reflected in his expression as he assured you, “If he truly loves you, then he will wait.”

“But… I want to experience the love I am able to give. What if there is really only one love we get to have in a lifetime, and he has been this love for  me? What if I’ve used up all of my love for this life already?”

“That’s nonsense,” Jaehyun instantly dismissed. “Love is endless, you cannot use it up. Especially you. You have so much love to give, you cannot be the only person out there. You will meet someone whose love is as endless as yours, I promise.”

“How much love have you got left, Jaehyun? Is it still endless too?”

Only at this moment, you realized that you hadn’t let go of his wrist all along. Only at this moment, when he twisted your both’s fingers in a way that intertwined them. Your chest welled up, you hadn’t felt this cared for in what felt like an eternity.

“Yes,” he whispered. “It’s still endless too.”

“Then I’m glad,” you replied with a smile before drifting off to sleep.

____

You didn’t know when you last had fallen asleep with your husband on the same bed, let alone holding hands with him and having his arms wrapped around you from the back. Waking up groggily on your soft bedding, you first saw your intertwined hands resting on your hip, your husband breathing delicately with his face buried in your nape.

It was odd. You didn’t feel put off or disgusted even as normally whenever he even tried to have some kind of body contact with you. No, you felt content, comfortable and warm. So, so warm.

Except for… as your eyes scanned the room, it dawned on you that this was not your house’s wall and neither was that your window you were looking at. This wasn’t your bed either, and behind you was certainly not your husband laying. 

“No, no, no!” Your breath caught and you sat up straight on the mattress, waking up your lawyer with your hectic movements. “No, this can’t be!”

“What’s going on?” He instantly arose into a seating position although his eyes were barely opened yet. “You’re leaving already? It’s only… 6am.”

“Yes!” you screeched and escaped the entangled sheets, starting to adjust your pulled up skirt and open blouse. Your cheeks heated up and you turned around, away from your lawyer’s peripheral so as to not reveal more of your body to him than you already had. “I was supposed to be home by last night! Why am I here? Is this a hotel?”

“You were so drunk, you could barely walk and always drifted off to sleep, I couldn’t just bring you home. I just wanted to make sure…” He paused and then shrugged. “Whatever.”

“Oh my god, what do I tell my husband?” You ran your fingers through your disheveled hair and tried to clean your clothes. You could barely remember the last night. “Where is my phone?”

“Here.” Your lawyer held up the device in front of you. “Zero messages and zero missed calls. Can you calm down now, please? I’ll drive you.”

You took your phone into your hand and looked at it in utter confusion. “That’s strange. Usually, he would call me when I’m not home or at least send me a message. Let’s just hope he didn’t bother checking up in the first place, that would be the best case.” A very unwell feeling suddenly crept up your body, laying itself on your chest and slowly cutting off your air. “Something is off. I need to go home. Really, I need to go home right now.”

Rather cold hands suddenly placed themselves on your left and right cheek, cupping your face. Your lawyer looked straight at you with penetrating eyes. “Please, I need you to calm down first. Now.”

You tried shaking your head, but his grip was too strong. “I can’t-”

“Yes, you can.” There was no talking back. He wouldn’t let you go otherwise. “Calm down, then get dressed and I’ll take you home. Spiraling right now is not helpful. Try collecting your thoughts and then act according to it.”

So you tried as he told you and closed your eyes. You took a few deep breathers, but even though you could set your body at peace just a little bit, your heart still refused to do so. And you got a feeling it was not because of what was awaiting you at home, but rather because your lawyer stood so close to you. It was his presence that caused you to be all irritated at this moment.

A few memory threads flowed into each other again, and pieces of last night seeped back into your mind… Your hands around his neck, his soft smile, his gentle words, his arms carrying you to the hotel room, his fingers intertwined with yours, his chest pressed against your back in your sleep…

You looked at him, utterly petrified. Had you just cheated on your husband?

“You’re coming?” he asked.

You followed him out of the hotel room and into the elevator. You didn’t say a single word and he didn’t pick up a topic to talk about either, so you just remained silent and avoided eye contact at all cost. You wondered if he felt the same way about your unexpected intimacy from the night before: guilty and ashamed - against yourself. 

That was what you would describe it, but it was not what entirely described the bigger picture. Because why else would you have wished not to be still married right now just to have laid in bed with your lawyer for a bit longer?

“Checkout, please,” you heard him say as you stood next to him, totally lost.

Your husband was an attractive man, but your lawyer… You watched his back bend, messy strands falling into his forehead, a crinkled shirt tightening around his chest. A small part of you that had supposedly taken control over you last night, yearned for him in a way you had never yearned for a man before, not even your own husband.

You suddenly broke out in cold sweat and had to look away, fingers gripping tightly onto the jacket in your hand. You were still a married woman, you were not supposed to feel this way about another man yet, even though you didn’t love your husband anymore. You still belonged to him on paper…

“Let’s go.” Your lawyer looked at you, frowning. “Are you okay? You look feverish.”

He wanted to touch your forehead, but you quickly turned your head away. “I’m fine.”

He didn’t believe you, but let it rest. “Fine.”

You trotted after him, feeling torn about what was morally right and the desires that had started to involuntarily get into your head.

____

Something was off at home, because nobody was there.

You and your husband didn’t speak often except for the necessities. Most of the time, he would sleep at his office in the house, coming back late in the night and leaving early in the morning. Sometimes, when it was very late, he didn’t bother to check up on you at all, assuming you were asleep already. For last night, you had just hoped that it was this exact case.

And just as you were standing there in the lobby, kind of lost and still groggy with a slight hangover starting to announce itself, you got a phone call.

“Hey,” you greeted.

“Hey,” your husband greeted back. “I’m sorry I didn’t make it home last night, and I won’t be able to come back today either. There is too much going on in the company.”

You didn’t bother to care anymore, you hadn’t in a long time. You were just relieved that last night didn’t have any consequences. “I understand.”

“Is mother already gone?”

“M… mother?” 

Your blood froze and your vision shifted to a silhouette that was just revealing itself in the corner and slowly stepping into the weak daylight. You had judged too early, weighed yourself in safety too fast as there it was, your consequences.

“Yes,” your husband responded. “Don’t you think it was nice of her to spend the night, because she was worried you would be alone after the robbery? Anyway, I have to hang up and get back to work. Bye.”

Your arm slowly slipped down, fingers barely still holding onto the phone as you looked at your mother-in-law like you were facing a ghost.

“By the looks of it, it seems like someone’s had a rough night.”

You did your best to keep your voice low and conceal the trembling tone that came along with your answer, “I was at a friend’s house last night.”

Your mother-in-law snickered and approached you, her face not changing a bit - the result of year long surgeries. She was smaller than you and certainly older, but something so wicked and deeply evil had always been surrounding this woman that even her own sons wouldn’t dare to look into her eyes without permission.

Secretly, she was the one running and pulling the strings behind the company, the entire conglomerate even, stemming from one of the country’s richest families for centuries. At least that was what she liked to tell, but your research didn’t reveal such connections. That didn’t make her appearance less intimidating though as even her own husband looked small next to her.

“Don’t fool me, darling. You don’t have any friends.”

Two years ago, you would have apologized deeply and fallen to your knees, begging for forgiveness, even if it meant kneeling for days. But you weren’t the intimidated girl from shortly after your marriage anymore. Losing your child had shaped you deeply and the divorce was the final stage, not the process - even though you still had weak moments. You decided this wouldn’t be one of them.

“You don’t know anything about me or my life.”

Somehow, you felt mentally so strong right now and straightened your shoulders to present self-confidence, aware of the fact that even though your way through this divorce was not the prettiest and most legal, it was the most effective. And truth to be told, they didn’t deserve a clean divorce anyway.

“I see it written all over your face,” she snarled. “You’ve been with another man.”

This woman didn’t deserve a glimpse of your new, true self at all.

This woman who had told her son, “If you had just waited half a year more, you wouldn’t have had to marry her and we wouldn’t have this burden in our family now.”

And the son who had just answered, “I’m sorry to be such a disgrace, mother.”

And you, the timid girl, you had just sat with them and swallowed every tear, because nobody in this family was supposed to cry - not even after losing your own child.

You wondered if that had been the moment you started slowly losing the love for your husband who you had deeply loved from the first the moment he struck up a conversation with you at the university where he had been invited to as a guest speaker. Three months in, you got pregnant and another three months later, were married. 

You had never graduated with your degree, but you hadn’t cared, because you had loved him deeply. For you, it had always been enough - but never for his family. It struck you the moment you had lost your baby and fell from grace.

For two more years, you had wondered whether you could restore the fading love or find another way to feel so deeply again. You had been stuck in a limbo where you questioned if it was some strange form of Stockholm Syndrome you had developed or whether you were just too weak of a person to break free, too afraid to never find love again. 

When one night two months ago, you had found your husband all immersed in work and family problems on the death anniversary of your child which he clearly had forgotten about, you had finally figured that he was a simple man who would always be under the control of his mother. There was no need to fight for what had long been lost. You were much stronger alone.

“You are only still here, because a divorce is a disgrace, never forget that and be grateful you have everything you need. Other women would happily trace places with you.”

“Then let them!” It was the first time you heard yourself raising your voice against her. “Let them replace me! You know we don’t love each other anymore, why don’t you let me go then?”

“Oh, darling.” Your mother-in-law stretched out her hand and touched your cheek. It felt ice cold, but you couldn’t move as your body turned to stone. “I would have, but you’re just so easy to keep here, why bother in the first place? I can keep you low and our reputation stored, it’s much better than dealing with a hassle.”

No, you weren’t easy to keep anymore anymore, you were just very good at hiding all of it and keeping up your facade. Maybe before, you would have caved and given in. Maybe before this all, you would have crouched in front of her. Maybe, before you hired your lawyer, you wouldn’t have had these thoughts at all. But only the imagination of him gave you everything you needed to fight back years of suppression. 

“I’m not scared of you.”

The slap came unexpectedly, leaving a visible mark on the side of your face. You gasped for air as you held onto the burning skin, your senses not coming together just yet over what had just happened. It felt like the spot got handled with many needles trying to push through a thin layer.

“The next time you’re robbing your own house, make sure to not leave footprints all over the scattered papers, the police might be onto something. I don’t know who’s helping you, if that person is a criminal or your affair, but if you really have some kind of shady thing going on behind my back, I will take you down and your entire family with you.” A threat so sharp that cut through the air like a knife. “Nobody knows about this, so I will do you a favor and keep it between us. If you continue with whatever you’re planning, I promise you, you will regret it deeply.”

Your family… you didn’t know when you had last seen them. You missed them dearly and there was no way you could put them in danger.

That was the only thing you could think of before you snapped back to reality as the entrance door closed behind you.

____

“Who did this to you?”

Your lawyer was kneeling in front of you, inspecting your bruised face with hands so gentle and a gaze so soft, it reminded you all of last night. You were sitting on the couch in his office, legs pulled up to your chest, staring at him but at the same time through him.

“Who?” he asked again as you didn’t respond, this time more insistently. He jumped back to his feet. “Who did this to you? Your husband?! I’m gonna k-”

Reluctantly, you shook your head. “No, it was my mother-in-law. She knows.”

“She knows about what? Whatever she knows, it doesn’t give her the right to physically abuse you!” You had never seen him this agitated and furious before as he walked around his office in a haste, apparently in search of something. 

“She knows that I’m onto something… with someone,” you admitted, fearing that he might get angry as you had not been careful enough. “She mentioned my shoe’s footprints over the scattered papers on the ground… I walked all over them, remember?”

“So what?” your lawyer dismissed in an instant. “This doesn’t mean anything. If this divorce makes it to the court, no judge will pay attention to this detail. You live in the house, naturally your footprints will be somewhere.”

You lowered your head, but sensed him walking back to you and pressing something against your cheek, providing instant relief to your burning skin. It was an empty, cold glass. “Sorry, I don’t have anything else here. I hope it helps.”

“Thank you.”

“What else did she say?” he inquired. “Whatever she said, I promise you, in this divorce, I will wring her out until she’s dry and has nothing left anymore. Then, I will push even further, that much I can do.”

“She’s right with everything she’s said to me,” you whispered absent-mindedly, rotating the glass on your skin so that the spot would always meet a cold surface. “I’m so easy to keep, that’s why I’m still there.” It was a paradox to you how a much older and tinier woman had brought up enough strength to hurt you this deeply, inwardly and outwardly. “But what was I supposed to do all this time? I’m from a reputable family and have willingly signed this contract, giving away my rights, my freedom. It was very convenient for them… I was only a convenience that had come along at the right time as their son wasn’t married yet. And then, I couldn’t even bear my child, and it turned me into a disgrace in an instant.”

“Stop!” your lawyer called out, bracing his arms against his desk that then creaked under his weight. His eyes were forcibly closed and there was a huge frown forming on his face. “Don’t ever talk about yourself like this again!”

“But it’s the truth!” you protested. “She may not be in the right, but she is right about me! I willingly agreed to cut off contact with my family, friends, everyone. And then it takes me two years to do something against it! Let’s face the truth…”

“Don’t say that,” he pleaded lowly, his knuckles turning white as he added more pressure to his grip against the desk’s edge. “It’s not like you. You were always so full of hope, in a fighting mode.”

“I still am!” you disagreed. “I still am full of hope and fighting, but let’s face the truth... I’m so young and I will have been through a divorce in the near future. I’ve lost a child, I don’t have a degree, no money for now, no prospects. Who would even want me anymore?”

You didn’t except an answer, it was only a rhetorical question, but he still gave you one,

“Me. I would.”

You heaved up your head, expecting to encounter a grin as your lawyer had just joked around to lift up your spirits in a meek attempt, but as you met his gaze, your breath caught. He was not kidding. He was dead serious, and by now you could quite well distinguish between his serious and joking demeanor.

“Jaehyun…”

His brows drew together, and he eventually broke out in a relieved smile, just a little bit. “Finally, you call me by my first name, even now.”

“Mr. Je- Jaeh-” You shook your head in confusion. You suddenly didn’t know what to think, say or even feel anymore. “Please don’t joke around, now is not the time.”

“I’m offended that you think I’m joking after all this time. I don’t make jokes about that.”

You dropped the glass on the cushion and jumped out of your seat, moving to the other end of the office room, far away from him. You couldn’t bear being so close to him with all that nonsense that he was speaking, because you feared that a big part of you wished for it to become true. 

“You know that I am looking for my one true love.”

“Who said it can’t be me?”

“I’m still married to Kang Seungmin.”

“Then I will have to hurry up with the divorce papers.”

“I want to get a degree and open my business before marrying again.”

“I’m willing to support that and wait.”

“You’re so full of life and I’m so broken.”

“Then I’ll bring you back to life too.”

Why did everything he say sound so illogical, yet so tempting? If life was only that easy as he always made it seem with his shady business, maybe there was still hope for you, too. You longed for the lighthearted young woman you had been in the past, and something inside you, maybe the remnants of her, believed that with him, she could find her way back to the surface.

“You don’t understand the depths of my trauma, you cannot love me, Mr. Jeong.” You turned back to the couch and picked up your purse. Walking towards the door, you told him, “I wish we would have met before all of this happened. I wish you would have met me when I was still in university. You would have liked me more back then and my life would have turned out differently.”

“Your life can still turn out differently, because it doesn’t matter when we would have met. I would have liked you all the same.”

You wanted to walk out, but your fingers remained on the door handle, refusing to move. Your cheeks were burning, but on both sides and for an entirely different reason now than shortly before. You were crying hot tears that were streaming down your face. “You don’t know what you’re saying…”

Suddenly, you felt his hot breath against your neck and flinched. But he didn’t touch you, no matter how desperately you wanted it, and you continued to fight against this desire. 

“We can also fall in love now, forget about the past and start again.”

“This is what you cannot understand,” you spoke earnestly. “I can never forget about the past, Mr. Jeong. And I refuse to do so, because it’s a part of me and will become a part of my partner too. My current husband has failed to allow this to happen to him.”

Then, your fingers were finally moving and you slipped out of his office. You used the stairs this time, running all the way to the ground floor. Only outside of the building, you were ready to come to a standstill and start breathing regularly again. You were sweating unlike ever before, hot and cold waves washing through your body.

But you continued your way by walking, walking all the way home, whether directly or in circles, you didn’t know. You just kept walking until it was nighttime, until you returned to your house where emptiness was awaiting you.

And as you stood there, alone in the darkness, you wondered how long it would take for it to consume you entirely.

You refused to let it get this far. Not again.

____

A few days later, you were standing in front of a grave that you generally avoided visiting except for only one time a year. The pain was too much to bear alone as nobody had ever bothered to accompany you.

This year, you were here for the second time - but this time you had company.

“I’m sorry if the things I’ve said back then were too insensitive,” Jaehyun apologized. “Just because I’m older doesn’t mean I’m more experienced. Of course I don’t know anything about your pain.”

“That’s why I brought you here,” you told him, your look unwavering from the small tombstone. “I want to share it with you. If you still want to love me after this, then I will believe you.”

…

When you found out that you were pregnant, you weren’t shocked like so many girls your age, who had just entered university, would generally feel. 

You were head over heels in love with your boyfriend who, despite your huge age gap and his position in the company, had made it his priority to shower you with gifts and love. That this was considered ‘love bombing’ and ‘grooming’, you would only figure out later. Up until this day, you were still convinced your love for him was real. It just wasn’t your fault that you were an easy target. It was his fault that he had even approached you in the first place as a grown man ten years older than you.

It only took one time for the two stripes on the test to appear. His happiness wasn’t feigned, and neither was yours. Of course you would drop out of university and get married. Marrying into this family would mean to never have to work anymore anyway and only caring for your child and husband. The fact that this was all convenient for a man who couldn’t keep a woman his age and was under so much pressure from his family, you would only figure out later. 

It was a shotgun wedding, but of course that wasn’t what was written all over the news. To his family’s luck, you weren’t showing yet and from a reputable background, but you had to hurry up with the wedding nonetheless. You were anticipating this child so much, even though your family tried to sabotage your wedding. That was probably why you were so easy to get talked into cutting off all contact with the people related to you. They didn’t understand you. The fact that they only tried to warn and save you, you would only figure out much later.

You signed away your inheritance, because what was yours was his, and thus for your child and every future child as well, it sounded all logical. You felt loved and cared for unlike ever before. Why be with your unsupportive family when every love and warmth you could find with your husband’s family? Other people looked for love all their lifetime and were unsuccessful. You were lucky to have found the love of your life at an early age. 

The fact that the people who told you you were too young to marry were not jealous, but only caring, you would only figure out much later…

… when you were lying in your bed with cramps so bad, you thought you were going to die. Except that it was the child inside of you, who was almost due to be born, was the one dying.

There hadn’t been any signs. He had been healthy. Yet, somehow, his heart had stopped beating.

They took your baby out with a c-section, you had only held him in your arms once. Nobody had shown up to share this incredibly painful moment with you. 

This moment that had dragged you into a darkness which would take you years to break free from.

…

“Suddenly,” you continued, speaking to Jaehyun, “I wasn’t the beloved daughter-in-law anymore. I was a disgrace. If I cannot keep a baby, why bother about me? My body cannot function properly, it refuses to act according to nature. Nobody looked at me the same way anymore, not even my husband. While my mother-in-law confronted me with disgust and anger whenever we met, it was disappointment that was mirrored in my husband’s eyes. He wanted to try again, his mother wanted him to. They didn’t give me a moment to mourn my stillborn child.”

“Did he…?” Jaehyun started, unable to speak out the words, but you shook your head.

“She insulted him many times, but he never did anything against my will. We did genuinely try though, I didn’t want to give up on my marriage, but I think my body already had. Sometimes, I caught him lying to his mother that we were trying when we had long stopped. This, I’m grateful for. But it made her hate me even more, because I’m in the wrong as I cannot conceive according to her.”

“This is horrible…”

You stood there, side by side, looking at your baby’s grave. “Sometimes I think he knew what kind of life was awaiting him and chose to not join me. I would have been a horrible mother under these circumstances.”

“He?”

“My baby was a boy.”

“No.” Jaehyun shook his head and suddenly reached for your hand. He was holding it for a long time, before he eventually said, “You would have been the best mom, no matter the circumstances.”

“So why is my baby not with me now?” you sobbed. “Why did it leave me?”

This was a question you were asking yourself over and over again, ever since it had happened. Your therapist had advised you to let go of these thoughts and the guilt, finally breaking free from that darkness by moving on. But you just couldn’t and had stopped going to the sessions from then on. She hadn’t understood the depths of your pain either - or so you had thought.

“Maybe,” Jaehyun started and removed his hand from yours to put it on your shoulder and shift you around to him instead. “Your baby didn’t leave you. Maybe your baby just sensed it wasn’t the right time and is waiting to come back to you when you’re ready again. Then, you’ll see each other again.”

You cried even harder at this point, only slowly realizing that Jaehyun had his arms wrapped around you now, embracing you tightly. Somehow, you had missed someone like this throughout all the years of pain, someone who listened, who was willing to share your suffering, who made it all more durable. Someone who was finally seeing you and acknowledging the depths of your pain. 

Had your lawyer been this person all along and it was meant for you to only find him now when you were ready for it?

“I like that thought,” you brought out under tears. “That I will see my baby again.”

“And your baby will also see your family and friends. I will make sure of that.”

“Jaehyun…” He pressed your face against his chest and rested his chin on the top of your head, tenderly brushing over your hair.

“I still want to love you. With all your pain, all your scars. I still want to love you.”

This time, you believed him.

Even more so when you came back to the grave a few days later. You didn’t want to run away anymore. If you freed your pain and didn’t lock it away in an abandoned room, it would grow easier to be a part of your life. That was why you wanted to confront your darkness and pay visits to your baby’s grave more frequently.

… Only to find out that someone had been here shortly before you, leaving a bouquet of fresh lilies.

Jaehyun really wanted to love all of you, past and present.

____

“These are the finished documents.”

Your divorce file was thick. You were sitting at Jaehyun’s desk and were only skimming over the first few pages. Every single paragraph was dissected and laid out very carefully, in every little detail so that no word could be misunderstood. 

You didn’t know why you had failed to pay attention to this before, but Jaehyun was incredibly intelligent and determined. He must have worked almost restlessly on these papers and had really meant it when he had said to hurry up with.

“What’s going to happen now?” you asked, hesitant to hear the answer.

“I will send this file to your husband and he will probably consult his own lawyer. Which is legally his right, even if he agrees on everything. Depending on how much he or his family wants to change, it will take months to… years negotiating, going back and forth.”

Years… 

You had told Jaehyun to wait until you were a divorced woman. That much respect you still had for your husband, even though you had already taken off your wedding band. And truth to be told, you were still unsure about Jaehyun. It wasn’t a decision you could make overnight at such a state, you had only loved one man in your life so far. Your next choice had to be the right choice, and how could you have already figured out if he was the right choice?

You didn’t want to get married on and off, it wasn’t supposed to be that easy, so you had to be as sure as possible. But then again, you had been fooled once by the love of a man close to your possible future lover’s age. How was it possible you weren’t going to be alluded into a marriage by false promises and hopes again? You might be a bit older and wiser than back then, but did it also apply to your heart?

“This is the toughest part,” Jaehyun continued explaining. "Negotiating. But I will always be by your side, remember that, I will accompany you on every step.”

You wondered whether negotiating with your husband or resisting your lawyer would be harder for you to do in the future.

“Then I will probably need a place to stay during the entire process. I should move to a hotel first and then go from there.”

“There is no need,” Jaehyun dismissed and got up from his chair. “I have a place for you to stay.”

You tilted your head in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“Let’s go.”

You took his car and he drove to a part of the city, far outside of the bustling center, which you hadn’t stepped foot in in years, even though it was close to your current neighborhood. This was where you had grown up, this was where you had spent the majority of your life. This was the area where your parents lived.

The car came to a stop right outside of your family’s house.

“Here we are.”

You turned your head away from the window, the sight of your childhood home causing tears to well up behind your eyes. “I’m not supposed to come here, Jaehyun.”

“Says who?”

“The contract.”

“The contract is bullshit,” he blatantly called out. “Who would have even controlled whether you came here? No one. You could have come here all the time without anyone noticing, you know that. You just… didn’t want to or couldn’t bring yourself to. Am I right?”

He had called you out, and you couldn’t close your ears from the truth much longer. He was right. No one had ever controlled you. Perhaps, they hadn’t had to as by your mother-in-law, you had always been too weak to go against the rules. When you had grown out of this phase though, it was long too late to make amends.

“In the beginning, my family and friends all tried to reach out to me. But whenever we talked, I only heard ‘You’re too young to marry, don’t do it!’, ‘Come home, you don’t need to stay there’, and much more. I dismissed their words, I thought they weren’t happy for me and didn’t understand me. So I eventually cut off any form of communication which was aided by my mother-in-law taking away my phone after catching me calling my mother once. They never knew I was pregnant, I wasn’t allowed to tell anyone. I had a new family who would take care of me, I didn’t need them anymore. Until I was all alone at childbirth and knew I had made the wrong decision.”

“The more you tell me about your in-laws, the bigger my desire grows to unalive them with my bare hands.”

You nervously kneaded your fingers, your gaze fixed on the movements. “It was their form of manipulation, isolating me from everything and everyone that could change my mind and open my eyes to the truth. Eventually, my trauma had done the job. It also made me realize that I am the one to blame too. I could always reach out in other ways, but never did. With time, my guilt grew to such an extent that every form of reconnection would spiral me into much deeper guilt. So I gave up like they have given up on me. It was easier to think this way as I could never forgive myself for the things I’ve said and done.”

“But they’ve never given up on you.”

You shrugged. “You wouldn’t know.”

“Except that I do. Why else would we be here?”

Your head snapped up and you looked at Jaehyun, then outside of the window in the direction of your house where at the same moment, the entrance door opened, that much you could see over the high metal fence surrounding the garden.

“What…” You were lost for words.

“Like you will never stop loving your child, your parents will never stop loving you too, no matter how many irrational decisions you make, no matter how many cruel things you say to them. You will always have their love,” Jaehyun explained slowly so that you could process at the same time. “A few days ago, I looked for them, drove here and explained the situation. But I left out a few important parts as it is entirely your story to tell them. I think you will have a lot to talk about in the upcoming days. Look, they’re waiting for you already.”

It was at this moment that you realized that you had never experienced love in its purest form.

Until now. 

And you weren’t referring to your parents as that was another form of love, family love. You weren’t referring to your friends either as that was platonic love. You certainly weren't referring to your husband either as that had turned out to only be conventional love.

You were referring to Jaehyun going through lengths to reconnect you with your family along with many other things. You suddenly weren’t alone anymore. Life suddenly looked so bright and full of hope when you had someone to also share the happy moments with.

You weren’t alluded by false hopes and promises. He was a man of words and actions unlike anyone you had ever met before. And if this wasn’t true love, then what was? There was no guarantee, no glimpse into the future. There was only your heart following a path he shaped for you in the purest form possible, hoping that one day, you would return his feelings.

“Jaehyun, I-”

“Wait.” He cupped your face and smiled when you were facing each other. “It can wait. Go to your parents first. Take your time. Then, you can come to me and tell me everything you want to tell me, alright?”

“Thank you.” And these two words couldn’t even express the entirety of gratitude you felt towards him, among so many other things.

He gave you a kiss on your forehead, then watched you open the door, walking towards your parents.

____

Jaehyun wasn’t having a good day. 

In fact, he hadn’t had a good week altogether.

He was grumpy with his employees, sloppy with his files and overall not at the peak of his law-game. His assistant had to point out mistakes in the papers more than several times and was already overly annoyed before he said goodbye for the week, leaving Jaehyun alone in his office.

He missed you incredibly, and it was messing with his usually organized and cool head. Suddenly he caught himself by what he had been trying to avoid all along: emotions caused by love. 

Jaehyun had known what it was the moment you went to the bar together, hair flying carefreely around your heated cheeks. Back then, he had only wished to keep the smile on your face forever, it suited you so much better than the stern and calculated look. Having you wrapped in his arms, he had been awake for the majority of the night that followed, thinking about how he could protect you from a world this cruel, a world that had treated you so unfairly all your life, causing you all this pain that nobody should ever endure.

Jaehyun had never been afraid to love, but afraid to admit that he was secretly looking for a lifelong love too, just like everyone else. After all, he was proven every day by wives consulting him that true love was just a misconception and people were mere life partners that eventually parted ways to look for someone new. His job was to break love, not to create it. And now he was finding himself in exactly that state…

… head over heels in love with a woman he never wanted to let go again. A woman whose absence drove him crazy, because every minute he was parted from her felt like a lifetime. Jaehyun certainly had been in love in the past, but he had never gone through these extents for someone outside of his profession.

It made him question his choice of occupation nowadays. And ironically enough, this train of thoughts led him to your husband of whose lawyer he hadn’t heard anything at all. The divorce papers had certainly been delivered to him, but no one had reached out to him in return yet. He made it his mission to take care of this tomorrow.

From the corner of his eyes, Jaehyun saw his office door open and a person walking in, pulling him out of his thoughts. He was currently storing away some files and ready to head home as well. 

“We’re closed already, come back tomorrow and make an appointment with my secretary.”

“But I need an appointment right now, Mr. Jeong.”

Jaehyun’s heart nearly jumped out of his chest in happiness when he heard your voice and shifted around. But the woman in front of him didn’t have much in common with the woman who had intruded his office back then.

Instead of pant suits, pencil skirts and high heels, you were wearing a long flowy skirt, a matching blouse and flats. Your hair was falling loosely over your shoulders like the night in the bar, and Jaehyun was sure he had never seen you this beautiful and full of life before. And if it was possible, he loved you even more now.

He dropped the files on the desk and straightened his shoulders. “How was the time with your parents?” he asked, reluctant as to what to do next. He didn’t want to push you, even though there were a million other thoughts in his mind right now and none of them had anything to do with small talk.

“We talked a lot. We cried a lot together, too,” you summarized for him, and he noticed that even your way of speaking had changed. You sounded more confident, but instead of it stemming from your insecurities, it rooted from deep and dripped with sincerity. “It was good, taking a few days off to think about everything.”

“And to what conclusion did you come to?” Jaehyun didn’t know why this question made him so nervous.

A faint smile tugged on the corners of your lips. ”I came to the conclusion that time is too precious to be wasted, Jaehyun. I’ve lost so much time with my parents just because I was weak, and I won’t get it back, nor can I turn it back. I can only do the best with our remaining time from now on. But there is no way I will make this mistake of losing my time with someone I love again.”

Jaehyun took a deep breather, trying to keep his composure. “You wanted to wait until your divorce, until you were sure.”

“I know.” You paused. “But when I thought about what I would regret more… I just couldn’t stand the thought of seeing you moving on, maybe with another woman. And it might be not in your book now, but how do we know what the future brings? I would only regret letting you go without even trying. I was never given a choice, but this, this is my choice. You gave me a choice. And I decided for this, I want this, Jaehyun.”

He cleared his throat and reached for his tie, loosening it a bit as he thought it currently cut off his breathing. “Do you know what you’re saying?” He took a stop towards you. “Be careful.”

You snickered - a tone that sounded like music in his ears - and took a step towards him as well. 

“Mr. Jeong, I’m willing to play dirty in private as well. Where do I sign?”

____

Jaehyun wiped his desk free with one hand. Documents, pens, his notebook and even a lamp dropped to the floor, but luckily did not shatter. You let out a gasp, first because you got startled by his impulsive action, and then because he had picked you up and sat you on the desk.

You almost physically felt the electrifying tension between your faces that had built up over the past few weeks, and as your lips came crashing down on each other, it was like sparks flew into every direction to finally celebrate the release of all this pent-up desire.

Jaehyun’s lips were warm and soft, and very demanding. His hands were holding onto your face, angling you up to him as though he wanted you whole, taste, scent and all. Never in your life had you been kissed with so much passion and longing, being claimed in a way a woman could dream of.

You had been intimate only with your husband before, and where lovemaking with him was quiet, lukewarm and quite trite, the onset of the very same act with Jaehyun pushed up too high of what was ever possible in your sole imagination. 

You were wild, fiery and loud. Oh, you could have never imagined to be that loud during the act. You threw your head back as Jaehyun kissed your neck, leaving wet trails where his lips passed. Letting out a moan, you spread your legs wider and pulled him close between your thighs. You chuckled silently when you felt him having grown so much already.

Goosebumps covered your legs as you felt him reaching under your skirt and pulling up the fabric. Jaehyun’s hands were roaming over your thighs, moving back and forth across your skin, and you simultaneously grew very hot in places you had long forgotten about. He tugged on the waistband of your panties, his fingers sliding between your folds and slowly rubbing there, causing you to catch your breath because of the intensity of the sensations.

Everything was going too slow for you now, and you wanted all of him all over you, inside of you. An inner voice was screaming desperately after him.

Suddenly, you halted.

“What’s wrong?” Jaehyun asked, worried.

“I… I don’t know how this works anymore.”

“What do you mean?”

“... this. Is it silly?”

You drew your brows together, expecting to be laughed at, but Jaehyun just smiled mildly and tucked a strand of your loose hair behind your ear. How could you have ever thought he’d make fun of you? He never had. 

“Nothing is silly. You were just so into it, what’s gotten into your mind?”

“I don’t know if I’m going to be… good. And I have… scars.”

You threw a meaningful gaze at him, hopeful he’d understand without many more explanations, and he did. You wouldn’t be his chosen woman if you weren’t still putting so many thoughts into one single action. 

“You still have problems to loosen up,” he concluded. “But don’t worry. If you trust me completely, it will all be fine and I will help you get your head free. So… do you trust me fully?”

It only took you a near-whispered “yes” before he swept you off the desk and carried you, with your thighs tightly wrapped around his waist, to his couch. Not even a minute later, you found yourself with your skirt all draped around your hips and your panties hanging loosely on one of your feet.

You didn’t see Jaehyun’s head anymore, only feeling his hair in a tight grip where your panties should have been, seeing stars dancing across the ceiling that you were currently facing while he ate you out like he had all the time in the world, sensually and delicately.

His tongue dragged along your folds that had long gotten wet the first time his mouth came close to your core. Gone were all your worries and doubts, there was no room to think about anything else than he way he was devouring you now, licking and sucking between your thighs until your eyes rolled back and his name fell from your lips like hurried prayers, interrupting his slurping sounds,

“Jaehyun, Jaehyun, Jaehyun…”

You angled your knees as you felt something tightening inside your lower stomach that you couldn’t pinpoint. It had first started off as a small spark, but was now coiling into something bigger that tugged on every fiber of your body. You were quite sure the fact that Jaehyun sucked on your clit and simultaneously thrusted his fingers inside of you was responsible for this indescribable feeling, more so when he grabbed you by your bare cheeks with his hands and pressed you against his mouth even stronger. 

You had had orgasms before. At least that was what you had thought. They had come like a small wave, giving you a pleasant feeling and luring a silent sigh out of you, and that had been it. This orgasm right now though was on a whole other level. 

Your whole body tensed up as though trying to protect itself from what was about to come, but no resistance in the world could withstand the persistence of the man who loved you to make you feel good. The coiled up sensation exploded inside of you the moment you thought you were going to die from endless pleasure, and then spread not only into your body, but also mind. 

There was no control over how your body reacted, you held onto Jaehyun’s head like a lifeline with your head lolled back, and screamed his name as though in need for help, your body leaking fluids in places you would have been originally embarrassed for, but Jaehyun loved it, every single reaction he was able to lure out of you.

Underneath him didn’t lie the uptight, suppressed woman anymore, in pantsuits and with no hair out of place. It was a new woman he had now unraveled, with wild hair, heated cheeks, liberated and eager to explore worlds she had never set foot into before. And he would guide her all the way into his world.

With a grin, Jaehyun wiped over his smudged mouth while you were still trying to catch your breath, but eventually returned his expression, ready for more. His fingers were trembling a bit when he first got rid of your skirt and then unbuttoned your flowy blouse. 

A flash of concern ran through your face in the blink of a moment when he undid the last button, but he understood. He helped you out of the garment, and when you eventually laid back again in front of him, bare-chested and naked from head to toe, he saw.

Jaehyun left no room for you to mistrust him though. Undressing himself from head to toe first, he then kneeled in front of you on the cushion and leaned in. With warm fingers, he reached out to your lower abdomen and then gently touched the spot of which you had been so afraid to let him see. 

But the c-section-scar was a part of you and Jaehyun loved every single bit. “You’re so beautiful,” he let out, and you believed every single syllable.

He had you tightly embraced with your legs around his waist when he slowly but deliberately pushed into you. At first, it hurt quite a bit, because you hadn’t had been this intimate in so long, but when it showed on your face with a frown, Jaehyun paused and made sure you still truly wanted this with soft kisses on your temple and mouth, so that the tightness vanished almost right away.

He was settled inside of you, thick, full, and pulsing, and even though this was so much for you to take already, you wanted him to move, needed him to move. When he didn’t instantly do so though, you nearly embarrassingly pushed up against him and tried to get a tiny bit of gratification by yourself.

Jaehyun laughed lowly and kind of threateningly. “Take deep breaths first, because you are in for a long ride.”

You winced when he pulled out and only let his tip remain, because you feared he would stop right here, but then met him with a breathless gasp when he slammed back into you full force. It cost you all the air in your lungs, but you needed him to do it again as well, because it had hit a spot you had always been convinced had never existed for you in the first place.

But it did. And Jaehyun penetrated it with every thrust that he alternated between fast and shallow and slow and deep. The couch’s cushion got wet and sticky under you, and your screams only grew louder too, but you didn’t mind and didn’t care, especially not when he suddenly flipped you over and you were sitting on him, having him sheathed deep inside your core.

“You’re so beautiful”, Jaehyun repeated. He stretched out his hand and curled a lock of your hair between his fingers that he then slid down along your breast, scar and let it eventually rest on your hip. “Ride me,” he then pleaded, “ride me, please.”

Despite the fact that you had never done that before, the motions came to you naturally with the guidance of his grip around your waist. It felt good for you to decide how deep and in which angle you wanted to have him, and as you were sliding along him, you felt another orgasm nearing that you unfortunately failed to chase.

“Out of breath?” Jaehyun asked, lids heavy after enjoying this sight too much.

“I want to cum again,” you confessed, “but somehow…”

Jaehyun returned to his former position, but this time, placed either of your legs across his left and right shoulder. You didn’t know what else he was doing, but when he filled you all up from the inside again, you were feeling him so deeply and intensely like never before. 

The second orgasm for this day found its root not in the pit of your stomach, but feeded on every inch of your body, so that it was an experience that left you shaking with all limbs, Jaehyun following along in long spurts across your stomach. 

“I’ve never imagined sex to be like this,” you admitted when you laid in his arms shortly later, a thin blanket draped over you. The office had long closed. 

“Like what?” Jaehyun asked and kissed your temple.

“So good.”

He laughed and pulled you closer to him. “That was not even my best performance yet, trust me.”

You opened your mouth in wonder. “You can do it even better? I can hardly believe it.”

“You want to try?” he challenged. “Don’t worry, we have all the time in the world to try out everything you want.”

“Okay,” you agreed. “All the time in the world, for sure. But maybe we can still start with it tonight. You never know-”

You didn’t have to call out to him twice before he disappeared under the blanket.

____

“I must say, I’m impressed. I didn’t expect this from you.”

The photos landed in front of your feet.

They showed everything.

Jaehyun and you entering your home dressed all in black, Jaehyun and you leaving the bar together, Jaehyun and you in the car in front of your parents’ house, Jaehyun and you coming out of his office at different occasions. There were even photos from yesterday after you both had…

You stood in the living room, petrified, not even your eyes were able to move to look directly at the person that was approaching you.

“You must wonder how much truth someone can spill when you just offer them more bribery money than the original party,” your mother-in-law said. “Needless to say, the security guard no longer needs his job here after providing me with the respective videos. And the rest was the dedicated work of my private detective. I sensed that something was off and hired him shortly after reading the police report on the seeming robbery.”

When you eventually lifted up your head, she stood there, looking at you with much disgust. It was at that moment that you realized you lost. She was holding the divorce papers in her hands. They had never reached your husband first, but had directly landed in her hands instead. 

“I don’t care,” you sighed deeply. “I don’t care anymore. I will sign anything, I am willing to lose everything. Just… let me go. Please, just let me go.”

You didn’t want the money, you didn’t need it. Money would come back, but time didn’t, and every bit of energy you still invested in this family felt like you were losing a bit of your lifespan. You just wanted to leave and live a life dedicated to your loved ones from now on. 

“Fine.” You halted, waiting for her to continue as you could almost not believe what she had just said. It couldn’t be so easy. “I am willing to let you out of this marriage, under one condition.”

Of course there would be. “What?”

“I’ve dedicated my entire life to keeping this family together,” she elaborated, “and my hard work paid off when I married off my first son well, making him the CEO of the conglomerate at the same time. My second one… well, he was always a little too spoiled and never under as much pressure as his older brother. But I let it pass, because as long as our reputation didn’t get stained, I wouldn’t look at it twice. I now wish I had as he only grew foolish and reckless. How else would he have gotten the idea of falling in love and getting an almost teenager pregnant out of wedlock?”

“This fact, we can agree on. But it was your fault that he grew up the way he is now,” you stated in defense. “He has never learned to deal with emotions, and whenever problems occurred, you were there to clean it all up regardless of the people getting hurt along the way. It was partially your family’s responsibility to make sure I was taken care of accordingly. The moment we married, I was your responsibility, too.”

Your mother-in-law screwed up her nose. “I did take care of these things my way.”

“And they were wrong!” you raised your voice, hoping that somehow, you could still speak some sense into her. “You pressured me to sign a contract of which its repercussions I could not have known at that time yet. It was my right to consult a lawyer, but I was never given a choice just like your son has never been given a choice. I was only nineteen and stripped of all my future!”

“A child out of wedlock would have destroyed everything I’ve worked so hard for,” she pressed through her gritted teeth, reluctant to admit this. “I did it all to protect my family!”

You shook your head. “And look at that family now. Was it all worth it? Was it worth the life you’re living right now?”

She didn’t know the answer to that apparently. “If you had only borne that child like my son wanted so desperately too, the problems would have all dissolved themselves. I would have endured you. Maybe you could have been a happy little family after all. But even for that, you were too weak.”

It stung. The insults pierced right through your heart, but you remembered Jaehyun’s words, and only grew from there. “No, we wouldn’t have been. I would have taken the child and filed for a divorce nonetheless, I know that now.”

“You ungrateful brat!” the elderly woman suddenly yelled. “Do you know how many girls out there would trade places with you? You’ve gotten everything someone could ever ask for, and for you it’s not enough!”

“Because there is more to this world than money and reputation!” you screamed back. “It’s not my fault you have failed to see it while you still had a choice, too!”

You were never able to forgive her, that much was true. But somewhere under her hard facade, you were sure, was hiding a young woman who had once dreamed big too. A young woman your age, who had dreamed of the love of her life and her own business. A young woman, who had been robbed of these dreams way too early and had never been given a choice either.

But that young woman had failed to escape as long as she still was able to, and got replaced by a monster that couldn’t figure its way out anymore, too entangled in a vicious circle that got passed on from generation to generation.

You wanted to break the circle and make your own choices. Perhaps, if you hadn’t gone through the past two years, you wouldn’t have had enough courage to feel like this now. Perhaps, if you hadn’t gone through the past two years, you would have turned out like her.

The trauma had made you weak, but also much stronger at the same time. You still didn’t understand, but in some way, you were grateful.

And the fact that you were now able to walk away was the reason you would always and forever remain superior to your mother-in-law.

“You must really love that lawyer of yours,” she eventually broke through your thoughts. “I just wonder how far you are willing to go for him to fulfill your condition?”

____

“Did you get your important papers?” Jaehyun happily greeted you when he opened the door to his office. “You’re back so early, is everything okay?”

The moment you hurried in his direction, he immediately knew that something was wrong. He put his index finger under your chin and angled up your head. The way your entire world shattered when he forced you to hold your gaze indicated that nothing would ever be okay again. 

“You have to leave, Jaehyun,” you insisted and grabbed onto his arms. “Right now.”

He didn’t ask any questions, but trusted you fully on that. “Okay, let me just get my-”

“No.” You shook your head. “The country. You have to leave the country immediately.”

Now, he was stunned. “I don’t understand.”

“My mother-in-law knows everything,” you uttered with a trembling voice. You told him about all the bribery and the detective, and eventually about her ultimatum. “She has collected a record of illegal activities reported against you, and she will go to the police with all of it to file a charge of your criminal activities. They have connections there, Jaehyun. She promised me if she wants, she will get you in jail. Is it true? Everything on the list?”

You recited a few bullet points you had been able to remember in a whim the short moment she was holding the paper in front of you. You directly saw it in his eyes, that fact that everything was as bad as it sounded. Robbery, data corruption, forgery, lying in front of the court… you named it.

“Oh god…” You needed a moment and sat down on the couch. “Jaehyun, she can really put you in jail!”

“Then I’ll leave the country!” he instantly caved. “We can live in New York or LA instead. I’ll book the next flight, we don’t need anything. We will just start anew.”

But by your expression alone, he understood that this was only wishful, silly thinking. Only one of you could be free, and you weren’t willing to trade his freedom for yours. He had always been free, you had always been caged. You didn’t rob the person you loved of their freedom like your husband had done.

“No… Don’t make that face. You’re not gonna stay married to him.”

“Jaehyun…”

He sank on his knees in front of you, taking your hands into his. “Then I will go to jail if it means you can get divorced to your advantage. How many years can I get anyway? I did many things wrong in the past and I don’t want to be this kind of person anymore. I will legally atone for my crimes. If it means that you’re going to be free and live a happy life, then I am willing to do so.”

“I won’t ever be able to live a happy life if it is without you. I don’t care about my money or my business anymore, Jaehyun. It will all come back, I still have time for this stuff. None of these matter now. What I care about is you. I won’t allow them to take you away from me. They took so much from me already. I can’t lose you too and rip you of your future and prospects like they did with me. It’s not worth it.”

“But I’m worth it?” he asked breathlessly. “How do you know? How do you know you won’t regret everything again?”

You wrapped your fingers around his neck and pulled him nearer to you. “Because you were willing to understand my pain and connect to my past. Because you left flowers on my baby’s grave and reunited me with my family. Because without you, I wouldn’t have had the courage to do all this. Nobody has ever gone through such lengths for me. If this is not true love, then I don’t want to live in a world this deluded.” You pressed your forehead against his. “And because I truly love you too, Jaehyun, I am willing to sacrifice this all.”

He reluctantly added, “There is another way out… There must be.”

There was a hint of a faint smile on your face. “There is not.”

“There is always!” he opposed, almost desperately.

Jaehyun sank onto the cushion next to you and buried his face in his palms. Was that what defeat felt like? He had expected it to hit him hard and knock him off his feet like a wave. Instead, defeat felt like drowning. Slow, torturous drowning.

“Perhaps, but not now, not for us. If only we had been given a bit more time… But I was selfish and pushed too far, and if you don’t leave the country now, you will go to jail. And if I leave with you, then all my beloved ones will pay the price, too. The damage would be more collateral. I cannot allow this to happen, so I will stay.”

“Promise me you won’t stop fighting.” He looked at you through heavy-lidded eyes. “That you will still fight for your freedom with every help you can get. Promise me you will never give up.”

You were trying so hard to keep your composure, but ultimately all your walls broke and you were crying hot tears in Jaehyun’s arms. He held you tightly for what might be the last time ever as you repeated,

“I will keep fighting.”

____

Jaehyun had made a decision. 

For that decision, he was currently collecting every tiny piece of evidence possible from his entire career as a divorce attorney. 

He had always been very structured, detailed and thorough with his records, which was why it didn’t take him long to find stuff that would be enough to lock him up for years. And he kept digging so as to not leave room for the police to find more than he would hand over. If he came clear with everything and turned himself in, punishment wouldn’t be so hard and he could see you again in a few years time. 

You didn’t want this, he knew, but in a hopeless situation, this was the scenario that was the most hopeful.

Ironically, Jaehyun thought to himself, he had never been a person full of hope before meeting you.

“Can I come in?”

A monotonous male voice interrupted him, and he absent-mindedly answered, “I’m busy and we’re already out of the office hours. Come back tomorrow.”

“I just assumed you might want to read through these papers right now, checking whether I signed everything right.”

Jaehyun had never heard your husband’s voice in real life before, but now that he had and looked up from his desk, he found it really matched his face. It was dull and boring, even though he was a conventionally good-looking, well groomed man in his early thirties - that much he was able to judge objectively considering he hated him to the core.

“I don’t know whether you’re stupid or brave coming here,” Jaehyun said coldly. “I’ll just freely assume it’s both.”

Mr. Kang let a bag, that Jaehyun only noticed now, drop on the floor, not reacting to his taunt at all. By your stories alone, he already got the impression that your husband wasn’t a man of many words… or emotions and expression at all. 

“Inside here are a few clothes, her documents, ID and passport. She wanted to get these this morning, right? And here are the signed divorce papers.” He dropped the staple on Jaehyun’s desk. “I’ve already consulted my lawyer. Whatever she’s asking for, she will get. I will agree on everything.”

Jaehyun drew the paper across the surface closer to him. He turned a few pages and realized that no alterations had been made so far. And Mr. Kang’s signature was right there as well.

“Where did you get this?”

“What my mother has gotten into her hands was a mere copy. The original documents had been handed over to me by the messenger the same day you had sent them out. I apologize that it took me so long. It was a decision easily made, but not easy to get through with my family. But my brother was very supportive and still is. My mother on the other hand, not so much when she will find out tomorrow. I’ll deal with it.”

Jaehyun closed the documents again and heaved up his head. “So… that’s all?”

“No.” Mr. Kang quietly shook his head, continuing with his initial monotonous tone, “I cannot prevent her from filing a police report against you, and knowing her, she will directly do so first thing in the morning when I confront her with the facts. That’s why you have to make haste and leave the country. Here.” He placed a very obvious plane ticket on the desk that was booked under Jaehyun’s name, dated for today still.

It was not the first time Jaehyun was hearing these words, yet he stood by his decision. “I won’t leave like a coward. I will cooperate and get the punishment I deserve.”

“You don’t know what you’re getting yourself into,” Mr. Kang said, a little more emotion in his voice now. “Do you think when you get released, it will all be over? It’s only going to start from then on. You will not only lose your practice license, but everyone dear to you too. You will never have a day of peace, and therefore, she won’t either. You don’t want that life for her.”

Again, Jaehyun felt hopelessness choking him. He was willing to suffer the rest of his life for all of his wrongdoings if he must. He just didn’t want to drag you down with him. “What should I do?”

“Go far, far away from here. Don’t leave any trace and wait until the divorce is finalized until you let her come to you. I guess you have partners or assistants that can take over the legal parts for you in your firm. Anyway, I will make sure we will push through with the contract that you have set up.”

Jaehyun knew this was the silver lining in a near desperate situation. “Can I still tell her goodbye?”

“If you want to ever see her again, then you must leave right now. The plane departs at midnight.”

“How do I know I can trust your words?”

“Indeed, there is no way you can. But you don't have a choice.”

“Can I at least trust you to make sure she will be alright until she can come to me?”

“Yes,” Mr. Kang confirmed, and for the first time, Jaehyun could make out a clear expression etched into his face. Relief? “After all, I have given her a promise at our wedding. I will keep her safe until it’s all over. You’re not the only one, I want to atone for all my mistakes too. I just want you to know that I have truly loved her. I just wasn’t capable of showing up when I was needed. So I’m happy for her that someone is now.”

“I think this is something you have to tell her in person yourself. And many more things, probably.”

Mr. Kang nodded. 

It was not Jaehyun’s place to judge other people’s relationships. What you had truly felt for each other at one point in your lives, it was up to you both to make out with yourselves - or not. Jaehyun just didn’t want you to hurt any longer. Everything else was irrelevant to him.

“Don’t expect a thank you, Mr. Kang.”

“I’m not. I’m not expecting anything from you, Mr. Jeong.”

Jaehyun hurriedly grabbed the most important documents from his desk and the shelves all while preparing to drop by at his home real quick to pick up his passport. “Can you tell her something from me? Or not… whatever you want to do.” He had seldomly felt so at a loss for the right words. “If you are willing to pass on my message though… She will arrive here soon and I need to be gone by then... Tell her to not come and say goodbye. I will contact her when it’s safe. I hope it won’t take long.”

“This, I will do,” he confirmed. “For her.”

____

Jaehyun had only packed a small bag with a few clothing pieces, some cash and important documents, nothing more. The papers he was taking with him included a specific file that gave him access to a secret bank account in another country into which he had booked different amounts of money any time he won a case. It wasn’t as much as his real asset, but it came close and was definitely enough to start anew somewhere else. 

“Do you carry any liquids in your bag, sir?”

Jaehyun shook his head. He had already put his bag and jacket on the tray, patting his pockets one last time to look for remaining items he still had to get rid of before passing the security.

“Jaehyun!”

Brushing it off as an intrusive thought, he continued with his motions, until he heard again, this time from a clearly familiar voice,

“JEONG JAEHYUN! HOW DARE YOU!”

When he turned around, he caught you verbally fighting with the employees who checked the board pass before passengers moved on to the security. “Let me go, I have to talk to that person!”

“You need a ticket to pass through here, ma’am,” one of them carefully explained to you, flinching any time you made a move as he surely couldn’t estimate your outburst.

“Fine! Then I’ll buy one! Hurry up!”

“To buy a ticket, you have to go the counter and-”

“I don’t have time for that. Jaehyun!”

He didn’t have enough time to process everything of the scenario that was now unfolding in his sight. You really dared to push one employee aside who then stumbled into the other one’s arms. And before they could catch onto what was currently happening to them, you had already dropped your purse, gripped the railing with two hands and just jumped over the barricade like it was nothing. 

In the background, Jaehyun perceived how the employees slowly caught onto the happenings after the initial shock and apparently called for backup with their walkie-talkies. Luckily, the TSA hadn’t caught wind of your unruly behavior yet as both sections were partially separated by walls, so Jaehyun left everything on the tray behind and ran towards you as you were doing the same. 

Quickly, he grabbed your hand and dragged you to one corner of the hall, right between these two airport sections, where it would take either party the longest time to arrive.

“Why are you here?” Jaehyun asked, nearly out of breath when you came to a standstill. “You’re supposed to pick up your bag from my office and go to your parents’ house!”

“I know but I couldn’t!” You squeezed his hand. “You were really going to leave without giving me a chance to say goodbye? How dare you!”

“I’m sorry, I just…” Only when he was at the check-in, it had dawned on him that he had made the wrong decision. Even if your husband had warned him, he should have taken that risk. That much, you owed the person you loved. “I’m just not good at saying goodbye. I didn’t know what to say… even now, I don’t know.”

“Please don’t do this! Don’t strip me of my choice! Not you too!”

Jaehuyn shook his head and cupped your face. “I would never do that! I would have called or texted you right when I arrived. Even if it was risky. I just cannot bear… yeah, this. I didn’t want to see you cry again. This time it’s my fault.”

With his thumbs, he brushed over your cheeks, wiping away your tears. From the corners of his eyes, he already saw the fetched security arriving at the section, looking in your direction. There was not much time left anymore.

“This is my choice,” you said under tears. “You are my choice. And if you don’t come back, Jaehyun, I will fly over there myself, are we in the clear?”

He chuckled and you cracked a faint smile as well. “I believe you. I don’t think we need a contract for that. It may take a bit of time… so will you wait for me?”

“I will always wait for you. That’s what I said, right? I will wait for my true love, no matter how much time it takes. Just please, if you can, don’t take too long.”

Jaehyun wrapped his arms around you and pressed you against his chest. The security was already approaching you, but they weren’t running, possibly because they had already sensed there was no danger radiating from you. Just two people in love who needed to say one last goodbye to each other.

“I’ll hurry up,” he muttered into your hair and placed a kiss on your parting. “In the meantime, go back to university, get your degree and work hard for your business, but don’t forget to live your life, too. I want to return in time for your graduation ceremony.”

“Jaehyun…” You looked up to him with big, tear-filled eyes. “Then I will work hard so that it won’t take long.”

Eventually, the security reached them. “Ma’am, we have to kindly ask you to leave.” 

Jaehyun let go of you before the two security men would drag you away from him themselves, and you unwillingly let him. “I promise I’ll be there!”

“I rely on your word!” you were still able to say before following the security out. “I love you!”

“I love you too.”

____

Police investigations started shortly after Jaehyun landed in the US. They were looking for him the next two years, and you had to stay apart for just as long.

He missed the moment you finalized your divorce after a year.

He missed the moment you re-entered university that same year.

He missed the moment you graduated with your degree a year later.

He missed every single important moment in your life.

____

‘GRAND OPENING’

was written on the fancy border that hung over the entrance door to your small shop. 

You hadn’t expected for five people to already show up at the opening hour sharp, but you were well prepared and handed them a glass of champagne each. You walked them around, presenting to them a few of your hand-picked pieces.

There were gowns with reserved, classic cuts, more elaborate gowns with a lot of tulle, short skirts, long sleeved dresses, tight and wide dresses, and a broad selection of accessories like veils and gloves in addition.

“My heart lies within this shop,” you explained to the group of women. “I want to gather as many different styles as possible to suit everyone’s preferences. After all, it’s going to be the happiest day of your life, and you shouldn’t only look beautiful, but also feel comfortable. Whatever you want to add or alternate on your overall look, me and my team will accommodate that. Please feel free to look around and call for me if you need my assistance.”

You moved behind the counter and looked excitedly at your first possible customers, being happy to share this day with the people special to you too as later on, your family and friends would pay you a visit for the official opening party. 

There was always one person missing though, and whenever you thought of it, your heart got so heavy.

The opening of your own bridal shop was another milestone in your life that Jaehyun was missing. Even though two months ago it was announced that the Aewha Group had gone bankrupt because of a tax fraud having been committed over the years, he had still deemed it unsafe to return and wanted to wait a bit more. 

You wondered why and slowly grew impatient as the police had already stopped pushing the case forward because of the lack of evidence as almost no one wanted to testify against him. Since the Aewha Group was now down as well and the owners had a fair share of other, graver problems to deal with, you had proposed to him to come pay you a visit.

“It’s too dangerous,” Jaehyun had said.

“Then I’ll come!” 

Again, he had said, “You don’t have to. Soon, I can return.”

But when was ‘soon’ anyway as he’d been saying it for a year already?

In secret, you had already bought a plane ticket to California for next month. Two years had already passed in which you couldn’t see each other, and if it continued, then you would be the one to go to jail for other reasons, you knew that, and those reasons included kidnapping the man you loved.

After an entire day of working where you had been successful to make fitting appointments with three bridal groups, it was time for the opening party. You saw your parents, grandparents, friends and other acquaintances, not only from the past, but also from the last two years, walk into your shop, gazing at the garments and celebrating with you.

There were beverages and snacks being served, everyone was dressed up and music was playing in the background. It was a gathering among the people close to you to celebrate the success you had been working so hard for the past two years.

You knew that, if you hadn’t met a certain person, you wouldn’t be standing here right now, giving a speech to your loved ones. But after all the trauma and pain, you were here, bright and successful with a future just as promising.

You just wished the person you were the most grateful for could have joined as well.

“Thank you so much for coming and celebrating with me. Please enjoy tonight,” you ended your speech.

“There is something I have to say too,” someone said in the background, and the hair on your neck suddenly stood up. “Actually, there is so much I have to say, but I will try to keep it short.”

Only after a few seconds, you were able to break through the petrification. From the corner of your peripheral, you saw your friends giggling and your parents looking at you lovingly. Before you met his gaze eventually, tears already started to burn on the rim of your eyes. 

You felt his warm hand on your naked arm, his fingers slowly sliding down to intertwine with yours. It had been so long since you had last seen each other in person, but as you now stood in front of Jaehyun, it felt like no time had passed at all.

He was just as handsome and well built as two years ago. If anything, he looked even better. Maturity suited him so well. He was smiling at you, but you couldn’t bring yourself to mirror his expression with the same intensity, because different emotions washed over you all at once, so that you didn’t know how to feel at first.

You wanted to get angry at him and yell at him why it had taken him so long.

You wanted to wrap your arms around his neck and have him hold you tightly.

You wanted to kiss him deeply and get undressed to feel every inch of him.

In the end, you didn’t do anything but start crying. It was all just too much.

“Why are you here?” you asked, still believing it was all not real.

You felt him squeezing your fingers. “I just couldn’t miss another milestone of yours.”

“Why did it take you so long?”

“There were a few things I needed to sort out before I could return. Finding someone to take over my law office, for example. Just the formals.”

“Why didn’t you tell me, you idiot? I bought a ticket for next month!”

He threw his head back and laughed. “That’s what I sensed and came here as fast as possible.”

“How long are you going to stay?” you sniffed.

“This time, I hope forever.” You saw him move in your blurry vision and blinked through your tears. Or better say, you saw it blinking in front of your eyes as he was holding a ring in front of you. “If you let me be your husband, of course. So… will you? Will you accept me as your husband?”

You pouted. “Where are we going to live?”

“Here, of course.”

“And you’re not on the run anymore?”

“I will only do stuff according to ethics, morals and the law.”

“Can I plan the wedding myself?”

At this point, you were only teasing him, but after what he had put you through, he let you. “You can do whatever you want, I will say yes to everything my wife says.”

“Very well.” You paused. “Under one condition.”

“Hm?”

Then, you broke into a wide smile. Those tears on your face had always only been happy tears. “We will never set up a prenup.”

“Of course,” Jaehyun agreed. “Because we will never get divorced anyway.”

Then, you finally fell into his arms and kissed him deeply. It was like two missing pieces coming together, a surge of complete bliss streaming through your bodies the moment your lips met. This, this was it. This was what it must feel like to finally be with your true love. You never wanted to be apart again. 

The ring looked beautiful on your finger, and as you both turned around to show it to your guests, you saw in their reactions that they had been let in on the planned happenings of this night quite a while ago. 

Your opening party had magically turned into your engagement party.

[scarletwinterxx]

the grumpy cat's secret soft side - chwe hansol imagine

hiiii ~ tbh i liveeee for the black cat turn into golden retriever type of guy🥺😭😅 this one is soooo cute, i hope you like it🤍 i’m trying to make up for being gone in the past weeks hence why the back to back posts.

for my other svt fics, check them here

if you want, u can buy me coffee(totally optional but any donation is very much appreciated!) thank you🥺💛

All works are copyrighted ©scarletwinterxx 2024 . Do not repost, re-write without the permission of author.

(pics not mine, credits to rightful owner)

You’re hanging out with your friends at a café, and, as usual, Vernon is sitting at a corner table, a frown fixed on his face. His arms are crossed, his eyes barely leaving the book he's reading, and his presence is just… intense. You know the drill—no one dares to approach him unless absolutely necessary.

Your friends chatter away, but their eyes keep flicking toward Vernon, trying to gauge the seriousness of his aura. You can practically hear them whispering:

"Does he even smile? He looks like he's plotting something dark."

"I bet he has some secret double life where he's a villain or something."

You roll your eyes, amused by the misconception. Sure, Vernon has this reputation of being the "grumpy cat". The guy who scowls at anyone who dares to speak to him but you know the real Vernon. The one who’s soft, playful, and okay, maybe a little too clingy when you're alone.

You sip your coffee, trying not to laugh at the thought of what they would say if they knew. They think Vernon is all sharp edges and cool indifference, but when it’s just the two of you? He’s a total golden retriever.

Later, the café empties out, and it’s just you and Vernon. You lean against the table, watching him flick through his book, clearly trying to seem like he's deep in thought.

"You know, you should really smile once in a while. People are starting to think you're some kind of cold-hearted villain."

He grunts in response, his eyes not leaving the pages "I don’t need to impress anyone. Why pretend to be something I’m not?"

You can feel the smile tugging at your lips. If only they knew how dramatically different he was when no one else was around. Just the other night, he’d insisted on cooking you dinner and then gotten mad at the TV when you laughed at a cooking show he didn’t even like. 

And the way his voice softens when he talks to you? Don’t even get you started.

"Mhm, sure. Just make sure no one sees you with your 'scary' persona, or they'll think you’re a supervillain." you tease him, a playful smile on your face

Vernon finally looks up at you, raising an eyebrow.

"You do realize you're the only one who gets to see me not acting like a 'villain,' right?"

You grin, taking a casual sip from your drink.

"Yeah, lucky me."

Fast forward to a few days later. You're out with Vernon and a few friends, walking through the park when you trip over a crack in the pavement. It's not that big of a fall, but you scrape your knee, and it stings just a little.

No one notices at first—except Vernon. His eyes snap to you, and you can see the panic flicker across his face. 

Before you can even fully recover from the stumble, he’s already by your side, crouching down with an expression that can only be described as dramatic concern.

"Oh my god, are you okay?! Did you hurt yourself?"

You blink, slightly surprised at how intense he’s reacting. He’s usually so calm in public, but now his eyes are wide, his hand hovering near your knee like he’s afraid even the slightest touch might cause more harm.

"It’s just a scrape, Vernon. I’m fine." you stutter, still surprised by his actions

He shakes his head vigorously, ignoring your reassurances, his face completely serious.

"No. You’re not. You're bleeding, and... you’re my responsibility!"

You blink at him wide eyed, "It’s really just a small scratch. It's not like—"

"Small?!" He looks at the tiniest red mark like it’s an open wound that could be fatal. His voice grows louder. "You’re going to need a bandage! I’ll—I'll carry you home!"

You can’t help but laugh at how over the top he’s being. The guy who looks like he’s plotting world domination in front of others is now losing it over a scraped knee. But he doesn’t seem to find it funny at all.

"Do not laugh! You’re injured, and this is serious business." he scolds you, already helping you up still chuckling, as he holds out his arms like he’s ready to scoop you up at any moment.

"I don’t need you to carry me, Vernon. I can walk." you assure him

"I insist." 

He’s so dramatic about it that it almost seems like he’s going to faint from the sheer concern he’s radiating.

"Is he seriously offering to carry you?" Dino asks, watching the whole scene

“What the hell is happening?" Seungkwan mumbles

You hear your friends muttering from the sidelines, their voices full of surprise, and you can’t help but smirk. This is the first time they’ve seen Vernon act this way, and they’re all shook by it.

"Vernon, seriously. I’m fine!"

But he’s already kneeling in front of you, looking up at you with wide, concerned eyes, ready to scoop you up into his arms like you're the most fragile thing in the world.

"Nope. I’m not risking it. Let’s go home. You need rest, and I need to make sure you’re not going to pass out or something."

You can’t hold back your laughter anymore."You're impossible."

"I’m just trying to keep you safe."

You finally let him win, letting him gently lift you as if you’re the most precious thing in the world, completely ignoring the curious stares from everyone else around. And despite how embarrassing this all is, you can’t deny it. You love how much Vernon cares about you. The "grumpy cat" persona is a total act.

You lean your head on his chest, feeling the warmth of his embrace.

"You know, I’ve never seen this side of you before."

"Good. Keep it that way. I’m only like this for you, got it?" voice full of seriousness

"Got it."

And in that moment, you realize, as much as Vernon tries to hide it from the world, he’s completely smitten with you—and you wouldn't have it any other way.

[perseidlion]

Fandom needs to have a serious conversation about the difference between a sexual character and a predatory one.

A character who is comfortable in their sexuality, is a flirt, and attempts to charm other characters isn't a predator by default. Predatory behaviour ignores signs that the attention is unwanted. Predatory behaviour means ignoring consent and pursuing someone when they're clearly not interested and blatantly ignoring their wishes.

Conflating the two downplays ACTUAL predatory behaviour and makes it harder to spot both in fiction and in real life. It's also different in the context of a story than it would be IRL. It's important to keep in mind that the purpose of fiction is to have narrative tension, conflict, and character development. The purpose of fiction unless it is religious or for children, is not to model ideal behaviour. A story for mature adults trusts that its audience knows the difference between permissible behaviour in real life and permissible behaviour in fiction.

Still, someone flirting with someone when they aren't immediately into it isn't some transgression. Neither is continuing to pursue someone or show attraction when they aren't given a hard no or directly blown off. ESPECIALLY in fiction where one party playing hard to get is a common story element.

The difference between a predator and a sexual person is emotional intelligence and an ability to both read and respect body language and signs. An emotionally intelligent flirt will back off when they know their attentions are unwanted. But shooting their shot to see how the person responds isn't evil behaviour, nor is trying to convince the person of their merits.

If this were true, a lot of people would never get together both in fiction and in real life. You can never 100 per cent know how a person is going to respond when you flirt with them. That's why flirting exists, to test the waters. Not every relationship starts with friendship, either. A lot of people jump right to romance. Also, sometimes people aren't into it immediately because they haven't thought about it. So the response can be ambiguous. There's been a worrying trend of people vilifying and painting characters as criminal/problematic/evil for simply being sexual and making their desires known. This is a prudish attitude that is very damaging - especially when levied on queer people who have historically been vilified, criminalized and experienced violence for expressing their sexuality.

It may be uncomfortable if someone expresses sexual attraction to you when you don't want it and don't reciprocate it, but if it's done respectfully, it isn't a crime. The crime comes if they ignore your wishes and pursue you anyway, or objectify you. **Addendum to note that I am talking about flirting that approaches a person like a real human being and not an object. This doesn't apply to say, dudes trying to talk to women on public transit with headphones in, or street harassment of any kind. I'm talking about flirting that comes from a place of respect and genuine interest at an appropriate time and place. Edited to add proof that the Cat King is definitely reading emotional signals from Edwin that encourage him to keep flirting:

[natsgrave]

FAVORITE CRIME | elizabeth olsen

i hope i was your favorite crime, 'cause baby, you were mine. i do not give permission for my work to be copied or translated on other sites. plagiarism is a crime!! masterlist whispers of heartache m.list

→ warning: self harm

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

know that I loved you so bad, I let you treat me like that. I was your willing accomplice, honey.

It was a crisp autumn afternoon, and the park was alive with the vibrant hues of fall. The air was cool, filled with the earthy scent of fallen leaves, and the sounds of children playing and dogs barking created a lively backdrop. Y/N was sitting on a bench, enjoying the tranquility of the moment, when she saw Wanda hurrying towards her, a look of urgency in her eyes.

"Y/N!" Wanda called out as she approached, her breath slightly ragged from running. She plopped down beside Y/N, her cheeks flushed from both the cool air and her haste.

"Wanda, hey! What's up?" Y/N asked, surprised by her friend's sudden appearance and obvious distress.

Wanda took a deep breath, trying to steady herself. "I need your help. It's a bit crazy, but I really need you to do me a favor."

Y/N raised an eyebrow, curiosity piqued. "What kind of favor?"

Wanda glanced around nervously before speaking. "Remember the girl I met at the bar last night? Her name's Alex. Well, she just texted me, and she wants to meet up again. She's really interested, but… I don't know how to say this… I kind of panicked and told her I already have a girlfriend."

Y/N blinked, taken aback. "Wait, what? Why would you say that?"

Wanda sighed, running a hand through her hair. "I don't know, Y/N. I guess I just freaked out. I liked her, but I didn't want things to move too fast. And now she's asking to meet my 'girlfriend.' That's where you come in."

Y/N stared at Wanda, trying to process the request. "You want me to pretend to be your girlfriend?"

"Please, Y/N," Wanda pleaded, her eyes wide with desperation. "Just for today. Alex is supposed to meet us here in half an hour. I promise I'll explain everything to her afterward. I just need to buy some time."

Y/N sighed, seeing the genuine worry in Wanda's eyes. She couldn't say no to her friend, even if the situation was bizarre. "Alright, fine. I'll do it. But you owe me one, Wanda."

Wanda's face lit up with relief and gratitude. "Thank you, Y/N. You're the best. I swear I'll make it up to you."

and I watched as you fled the scene, doe-eyed as you buried me. one heart broke, four hands bloody.

They spent the next hour walking through the park, chatting about various topics. Y/N was surprised at how naturally the conversation flowed. She found herself genuinely enjoying Alex's company, and it was clear why Wanda had been interested in her. Despite the initial awkwardness, the three of them laughed and talked as if they had known each other for years.

At one point, they stopped by a small café in the park to grab some coffee. As they sat down at a table, Alex excused herself to take a phone call. Y/N turned to Wanda, her voice low.

"She's really nice, Wanda. You should have just told her the truth from the start."

Wanda sighed, her shoulders slumping slightly. "I know, Y/N. I just… I didn't want to mess things up. But I can see now that this was a mistake."

Before Y/N could respond, Alex returned, her phone call finished. She sat down, a thoughtful look on her face. "So, how did you two meet?"

Wanda took a deep breath, her hands trembling slightly. "Alex, there's something I need to tell you. It's about Y/N and me."

Alex's brow furrowed in concern. "Is everything okay? You two seemed so happy together."

Wanda shook her head, her eyes meeting Alex's. "That's just it. Y/N and I… we're not actually together. We're just friends. I asked her to pretend to be my girlfriend because I panicked when you asked me out."

Alex's eyes widened in surprise, her expression a mix of confusion and hurt. "Wait, what? You two aren't…?"

Wanda nodded, guilt washing over her. "I'm so sorry, Alex. I know it was wrong, and I should have been honest from the start. I just… I didn't want to lose the chance to get to know you better, and I got scared."

Alex was silent for a moment, her gaze focused on the table between the three of them. Finally, she looked up at Wanda, a small, rueful smile on her lips. "You know, I appreciate you coming clean. It takes guts to admit you were wrong."

Wanda reached out, her hand covering Alex's. "I'm really sorry, Alex. I promise I'll be honest with you from now on, no matter what."

Alex squeezed her hand gently, a thoughtful expression on her face. "Okay, Wanda. Let's start fresh. No more lies, just honesty."

you used me as an alibi, I crossed my heart as you crossed the line, and I defended you to all my friends.

Y/N was lounging on the couch, flipping through a magazine when her phone buzzed. It was a text from Alex. She hesitated for a moment before opening it.

"Hey, can we talk? Need to ask you something about Wanda."

Y/N's heart skipped a beat. She knew this conversation was coming sooner or later. She took a deep breath and typed a quick response. "Sure, what's up?"

A few minutes later, her phone rang. Y/N picked it up, trying to keep her voice steady. "Hey, Alex."

"Hey, Y/N," Alex said, her voice tense. "I just wanted to check something with you. Was Wanda with you the whole weekend?"

Y/N's mind raced. She knew Wanda had canceled her date with Alex, and now she had to cover for her. "Yeah, she was," Y/N lied, her voice steady. "She needed some time to unwind, so we just hung out at my place."

Alex sighed on the other end. "I see. She told me you needed her and that's why she canceled our date. It just seemed a bit sudden."

"Yeah, I wasn't feeling too great," Y/N continued, sticking to the story. "Wanda came over to keep me company. She's a really good friend."

There was a pause. "I guess… I just felt like she was avoiding me," Alex admitted. "It's been happening a lot lately."

Y/N felt a pang of guilt. She didn't want to lie, but she also didn't want to betray Wanda's trust. "I'm sure she's just been busy," she said, trying to sound reassuring. "You know how life can get sometimes."

"Yeah, maybe," Alex said, her tone still doubtful. "Thanks for clearing that up, Y/N. I appreciate it."

"No problem," Y/N replied. "Take care, Alex."

"You too." She said before hanging up.

Y/N let out a sigh of relief, but the weight of the lie still hung heavily on her. She decided to call her friends, Natasha and Maria, to talk things through. She dialed Natasha's number first.

"Hey, Nat, can you come over? I need to talk."

"Sure, see you in a minute." Natasha replied without hesitation.

Next, Y/N called Maria. "Hey, Maria. Can you come over? I need to discuss something important."

"Of course, I'll be there soon." Maria responded.

Half an hour later, Natasha and Maria arrived at Y/N's apartment. They could tell something was bothering her.

"What's going on, Y/N?" Natasha asked, sitting down on the couch.

Y/N took a deep breath and explained the situation. "Alex called me earlier, asking if Wanda was with me the whole weekend. She told her she canceled their date because I needed her, but that's not true. I lied and told her she was with me."

Maria frowned. "Why would Wanda do that? That's not fair to you or Alex."

"I know," Y/N said, running a hand through her hair. "But I didn't want to betray her trust. I didn't want to betray her. Wanda's been going through something, and I think she just needed some space."

Natasha crossed her arms. "Still, it's not right for her to put you in that position. She's being selfish."

"Yeah," Maria agreed. "She shouldn't be dragging you into her mess."

Y/N shook her head. "Wanda's not bad. She's really sweet and kind. She's just been… distant lately. I don't think she knows how to deal with whatever she's going through."

Natasha sighed. "I get that, but it's not fair to you. You deserve better than to be caught in the middle of this."

"I know," Y/N said softly. "But I care about her. She's my friend, and I want to help her."

Maria placed a hand on Y/N's shoulder. "We understand that, Y/N. Just don't let her take advantage of your kindness. You need to look out for yourself too."

"I will," Y/N promised. "But I'm not giving up on her. I know the Wanda I care about is still there, even if she's going through a rough patch."

Natasha nodded. "Just be careful, okay? We're here for you."

"Thanks, guys," Y/N said, feeling a bit better after talking to her friends. "I appreciate it."

As Natasha and Maria left, Y/N sat back down on the couch, her mind still racing with thoughts about Wanda. She hoped that whatever Wanda was dealing with, she would find a way to come back to the friend Y/N knew and loved. Until then, she would stand by her, even if it meant telling a few white lies along the way.

and now, every time a siren sounds, I wonder if you're around 'cause you know that I'd do it all again.

The tension in the apartment had been building for weeks. Y/N could feel it in every interaction, every forced smile, and every vague excuse. Wanda had been distant, using Y/N as an alibi for her mysterious disappearances. Y/N had tried to be patient, but tonight, she couldn't take it anymore.

Y/N paced the living room, waiting for Wanda to return. When the door finally opened, Wanda walked in, looking tired and somewhat annoyed. "Hey," she said curtly, tossing her keys on the table.

"We need to talk." Y/N said, her voice trembling with a mix of anger and hurt.

Wanda sighed, not meeting Y/N's eyes. "Can it wait? I'm really tired."

"No, it can't," Y/N replied firmly. "You've been distant for a month now, Wanda. You've been using me as an alibi to Alex, and I'm getting tired of it. What's going on?"

Wanda's face hardened. "I don't need to explain myself to you," she snapped. "I have my own life, Y/N."

"But we're supposed to be in this together," Y/N said, tears welling up in her eyes. "I love you, and I feel like I'm losing you. Why are you shutting me out?"

Wanda crossed her arms defensively. "Maybe because you're smothering me," she retorted. "I need space, and you're always there, always needing something from me."

Y/N was taken aback. "I'm not smothering you. I'm just trying to be there for you, to support you. But you keep pushing me away."

"Because I can't breathe with you around!" Wanda shouted, her eyes flashing with anger. "You act like everything is about you. Did it ever occur to you that maybe I need time to figure things out on my own?"

Y/N's voice broke. "Wanda, I just want to help. I want to understand. Why are you being so cruel?"

"Because maybe you don't belong here, Y/N," Wanda said coldly. "Maybe you never did. You should have been gone and never been born."

The words hit Y/N like a physical blow. She stood there, stunned, as Wanda grabbed her coat and stormed out of the apartment, slamming the door behind her. Y/N's knees gave way, and she collapsed onto the floor, her mind reeling with Wanda's words.

The silence in the apartment was deafening. Y/N sat there for what felt like hours, the weight of Wanda's words crushing her spirit. "You should have been gone and never been born." The phrase echoed in her mind, relentless and cruel. She felt numb, the emotional pain so intense that it was almost physical.

In a daze, Y/N found herself in the bathroom, staring at her reflection in the mirror. She hardly recognized the person looking back at her. Tears streamed down her face as she opened the medicine cabinet and took out a razor blade. Her hands shook, but her mind was made up. She couldn't live with the pain, with the feeling of being unwanted, unworthy.

The next few moments were a blur. She felt a strange calm as she dragged the blade across her wrists, watching the blood flow. It wasn't until the room started spinning and her vision blurred that she realized she was losing consciousness.

Y/N woke up to the beeping of machines and the sterile smell of the hospital. She looked around, disoriented, and saw Natasha and Maria sitting beside her bed, their faces etched with worry and grief.

"Why did you do it, Y/N?" Natasha asked, her voice breaking. "Why?"

Maria wiped her tears, looking at Y/N with a mixture of sadness and desperation. "Please, don't ever do that again. We love you so much. We can't lose you."

Y/N felt a lump in her throat as she whispered, "Is she here?"

Natasha and Maria exchanged a glance, their silence speaking volumes. Y/N's heart sank. She already knew the answer.

"No," Y/N murmured, tears streaming down her face. "She's not."

Natasha took Y/N's hand, squeezing it gently. "We're here for you, Y/N. We're not going anywhere."

Maria nodded, her eyes filled with determination. "We'll get through this together. You're not alone."

Y/N nodded weakly, her heart aching with a mixture of relief and sorrow. As she lay there, surrounded by her friends, she realized that she needed to find her own strength, to heal and move forward, even if it meant doing so without Wanda.

But she hate the fact that if Wanda asked her, she knows that she'd do it again. For her. For Wanda.

It's bittersweet to think about the damage that we do, 'cause I was going down, but I was doing it with you.

Y/N had always prided herself on her resilience. She had faced challenges head-on, never shying away from adversity. But lately, life had become an unending series of disappointments and heartaches. She felt like she was drowning in her own thoughts, the weight of the world pressing down on her.

One particularly dreary evening, Y/N sat in her dimly lit apartment, staring blankly at the television. The sound was on, but she wasn't really listening. Her phone buzzed beside her, but she ignored it, too numb to care. She had been in this dark place for weeks, and each day seemed to blur into the next.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. Y/N didn't move. She assumed it was just another delivery she hadn't ordered, or perhaps a neighbor. But the knocking persisted, louder and more insistent this time.

"Y/N, it's Wanda. Open the door."

Y/N's heart skipped a beat. Wanda had been her rock, her constant in the chaos. But she had been pushing everyone away, including Wanda. She sighed and slowly got up, dragging her feet to the door. She opened it to find Wanda standing there, concern etched on her face.

"Hey," Wanda said softly, stepping inside without waiting for an invitation. She took one look at Y/N and immediately wrapped her in a hug. "I've been so worried about you."

Y/N felt a tear slip down her cheek. "I'm sorry, Wanda. I just… I didn't know what to do."

Wanda pulled back slightly, looking into Y/N's eyes. "You don't have to do this alone. You're not alone. I'm here for you. Always."

They moved to the couch, and Wanda made Y/N a cup of tea, insisting she drink it. The warmth of the tea and Wanda's presence seemed to thaw some of the ice that had formed around Y/N's heart.

"You don't understand, Wanda," Y/N said, her voice trembling. "Everything feels so hopeless. I can't see a way out."

Wanda took Y/N's hand, squeezing it gently. "I know it feels like that now, but you're stronger than you think. We'll get through this together. I promise."

Y/N nodded, tears streaming down her face. "I'm so tired, Wanda. Tired of fighting, tired of feeling like this."

Wanda wrapped her arms around Y/N again, holding her tightly. "Then let me fight for you. Let me be your strength when you can't find your own. We'll take it one day at a time."

As the days turned into weeks, Wanda remained by Y/N's side, helping her find small joys in everyday life. They took long walks in the park, watched movies together, and shared quiet moments that slowly brought Y/N back to life. Wanda's unwavering support and love were the lifeline Y/N desperately needed.

Months later, the roles reversed. Wanda had been struggling with her own demons, overwhelmed by the pressures of life and the haunting memories of her past. One evening, Y/N found Wanda sitting on the floor of her apartment, tears streaming down her face.

"Wanda?" Y/N said softly, kneeling beside her. "What's wrong?"

Wanda looked up, her eyes red and puffy. "I'm so tired, Y/N. Tired of pretending everything is okay. Tired of fighting these battles alone."

Y/N took Wanda's hands in hers, squeezing them reassuringly. "You're not alone, Wanda. I'm here for you, just like you were there for me."

Wanda nodded, her tears falling onto their intertwined hands. "I don't know what to do anymore."

"We'll figure it out together," Y/N said firmly. "You were my rock when I needed you. Now let me be yours."

They spent the night talking, Y/N listening as Wanda poured out her heart. Y/N held Wanda as she cried, offering comfort and understanding. They talked about everything— Wanda's fears, her regrets, and her hopes. Y/N reminded Wanda of her strength, of all the battles she had already won.

"You've been through so much, Wanda," Y/N said gently. "But you're still here. You're still fighting. And that's what makes you incredible."

Wanda looked at Y/N, her eyes filled with gratitude. "Thank you, Y/N. For being here, for believing in me."

Y/N smiled, brushing a tear from Wanda's cheek. "We're a team, remember? We face everything together."

As time went on, their bond only grew stronger. They supported each other through the highs and lows, always ready to catch the other when they fell. They celebrated victories, no matter how small, and faced challenges head-on, knowing they were never alone.

One evening, they sat on Y/N's balcony, watching the sunset. The sky was painted with hues of orange and pink, a beautiful end to a long day. Wanda leaned her head on Y/N's shoulder, sighing contentedly.

"Thank you for everything, Y/N," Wanda said softly. "I don't know where I'd be without you."

Y/N kissed the top of Wanda's head, smiling. "You don't have to thank me. We're always there for each other. That's what love and friendship is about."

Wanda looked up at Y/N, her eyes shining with love and admiration. "Forever and always?"

Y/N felt a warmth spread through her chest. "Forever and always."

Yeah, everything we broke, and all the trouble that we made. But I say that I hate you with a smile on my face.

Y/N and Wanda had been inseparable since the day they met in the third grade. They were the definition of troublemakers, always coming up with new and inventive ways to wreak havoc in their small town. Now, as teenagers, their bond had only grown stronger, and their antics more daring.

One sunny Saturday afternoon, Y/N and Wanda sat on the curb outside the local convenience store, sipping on their stolen sodas. Mr. Rogers, the store owner, had long given up trying to keep the two from sneaking drinks without paying.

"Okay, what's the plan for today?" Wanda asked, her eyes sparkling with mischief.

Y/N grinned, wiping soda from her mouth. "I was thinking we could 'borrow' old man Fury's tractor and take it for a spin around the park."

Wanda's eyes widened. "You're insane, Y/N! He'll kill us if he catches us."

"Which is why we won't get caught," Y/N said confidently. "Come on, live a little!"

Wanda laughed and stood up, pulling Y/N with her. "Alright, let's do it. But if we get caught, I'm blaming you."

They made their way to old man Fury's farm, sneaking past the barn where he kept his beloved tractor. Y/N hot-wired the vehicle— an impressive skill she had picked up from watching too many heist movies— and they were off, the engine roaring to life.

They drove through the town, laughing and waving at bewildered pedestrians. By the time they reached the park, a small crowd had gathered, cheering them on. Y/N and Wanda took turns driving, each one trying to outdo the other with their daring maneuvers.

"This is amazing!" Wanda shouted over the noise, her face flushed with excitement.

"I told you it would be!" Y/N yelled back, her hands gripping the steering wheel tightly.

After an hour of joyriding, they decided to return the tractor before anyone could trace it back to them. They parked it back in the barn, carefully covering their tracks.

As they walked away, Wanda nudged Y/N. "We're getting really good at this."

Y/N smirked. "We're the best."

Another day, they decided to sneak into the local movie theater after hours. It was an old building, the kind that still had a reel-to-reel projector. Y/N had found a way in through a loose window in the back.

Inside, they explored the empty theater, making their way to the projector room. Wanda found an old film reel and, with a little help from Y/N, managed to set it up.

The screen flickered to life, showing an old black-and-white movie. They sat in the plush seats, munching on popcorn they had brought with them, feeling like they owned the place.

"This is perfect." Wanda said, leaning her head on Y/N's shoulder.

"It really is." Y/N agreed, feeling a warmth spread through her chest that had nothing to do with the buttery popcorn.

Their adventures weren't always so harmless. One night, they decided to sneak into the school pool. It was a warm summer evening, and the thought of swimming under the stars was too tempting to resist.

They climbed over the fence, stripping down to their underwear before diving into the cool water. They swam and splashed around, their laughter echoing in the still night.

"Can you believe we're actually doing this?" Wanda asked, floating on her back and staring up at the stars.

"We can do anything." Y/N replied, her voice filled with conviction.

Just then, the sound of a flashlight beam cutting through the darkness made them freeze.

"Hey! Who's there?" the night guard shouted.

"Time to go!" Y/N whispered urgently.

They scrambled out of the pool, grabbing their clothes and running for the fence. They barely made it over before the guard reached them, sprinting down the street in fits of giggles.

"That was too close!" Wanda gasped, leaning against a lamppost to catch her breath.

"But it was worth it." Y/N said, her eyes shining with exhilaration.

Despite their frequent brushes with trouble, they never got caught. Their reputation as the town's resident troublemakers only grew, and so did their bond. They were two halves of a whole, perfectly in sync.

One afternoon, they sat in Y/N's backyard, sprawled out on the grass and staring up at the clouds.

"Hey, Y/N?" Wanda said, turning her head to look at her friend.

"Yeah?" Y/N replied, still gazing at the sky.

"Do you think we'll always be like this? Best friends, causing trouble, having fun?"

Y/N smiled. "I don't see why not. We're unstoppable, remember?"

Wanda laughed. "Yeah, we are."

They fell into a comfortable silence, the kind that only comes from years of friendship.

"You know," Wanda said after a while, "I don't think I could have survived this town without you."

Y/N turned to face her, a serious look on her face. "Me neither, Wanda. You're my best friend. My partner in crime."

Wanda grinned. "Forever and always?"

"Forever and always." Y/N agreed.

They both sat up, and Y/N suddenly nudged Wanda playfully. "Hey, remember when we stole Mr. Roger's garden gnome and put it in Principal Stark's office?"

Wanda burst out laughing. "Oh my god, yes! He was so confused. That was brilliant."

Y/N chuckled. "Good times."

Wanda leaned closer, a mischievous glint in her eye. "So, what's our next adventure?"

Y/N pretended to think. "Hmm, how about we—"

Before she could finish, Wanda tackled her, and they both tumbled to the ground, laughing and playfully wrestling.

"I hate you!" Y/N said jokingly, a wide smile on her face.

Wanda laughed, her eyes twinkling with joy. "I love you too."

They lay there in the grass, catching their breath and laughing together, knowing that whatever trouble they found next, they'd face it together, as they always had.

oh, look what we became.

A few days later, Y/N was discharged from the hospital. The ride home was quiet, the weight of recent events hanging heavily in the air. Natasha and Maria were by her side, their presence a comforting reminder that she wasn't alone, even as she felt the void left by Wanda's absence.

Back at her apartment, Y/N sank into her couch, exhaustion washing over her. Natasha and Maria bustled around, making sure everything was in order. Maria brought her a cup of tea, while Natasha checked her medications and left a list of do's and don'ts on the fridge.

"You need anything else, Y/N?" Maria asked softly, sitting beside her.

Y/N shook her head, staring into her cup. "No, I'm good. Thanks for everything, both of you."

Natasha knelt in front of her, placing a hand on her knee. "We're here for you, no matter what. If you need anything, don't hesitate to call us."

"I know," Y/N said, offering a small, grateful smile. "I don't know what I'd do without you guys."

As the days passed, Natasha and Maria remained a constant presence. They took turns checking in, making sure Y/N was eating, getting out of bed, and taking care of herself. They were there when she needed a shoulder to cry on and when she needed to be distracted from her thoughts.

However, Y/N's relationship with Wanda had become a ghost haunting her every waking moment. She couldn't bring herself to face Wanda, couldn't bear to see the woman who had once been her world. The close friendship they had shared now felt like a fragile thread, frayed and on the brink of snapping.

One afternoon, Natasha found Y/N staring out the window, lost in thought. She approached quietly, sitting down beside her.

"You've been avoiding her." Natasha said gently, not needing to specify who 'her' was.

Y/N sighed, her eyes never leaving the view outside. "I can't face her, Nat. Every time I think about her, I just… I feel everything all over again."

Natasha nodded, understanding. "It's going to take time. And it's okay to need space. Just remember, you're not alone in this."

Y/N turned to Natasha, tears brimming in her eyes. "I just don't know how to move on from this. How do I let go of someone who meant so much to me?"

Natasha reached out, taking Y/N's hand in hers. "You don't have to have all the answers right now. One step at a time, okay? And we'll be with you every step of the way."

"I loved her, more than I should have."

Meanwhile, Wanda was struggling with her own turmoil. She regretted every harsh word, every moment of distance she had put between them. She wanted to reach out, to apologize, to try and mend what had been broken, but fear and guilt held her back.

One evening, Wanda stood outside Y/N's apartment building, hesitating. She had been there for almost an hour, working up the courage to go inside. Just as she decided to leave, Maria stepped out of the building and spotted her.

"Wanda?" Maria called out, walking towards her.

Wanda turned, her heart sinking at the sight of Maria's stern expression. "Maria, I… I was just leaving."

Maria crossed her arms, looking at her intently. "She's been through hell because of you, Wanda. What are you doing here?"

"I just wanted to see her, to apologize," Wanda said, her voice breaking. "I never meant to hurt her like this. I… I love her."

Maria's expression softened slightly, but her stance remained firm. "You've done enough damage. Give her the space she needs. If she wants to talk to you, she'll reach out. Until then, respect her boundaries."

Wanda nodded, tears welling up in her eyes. "I understand. I'm so sorry, Maria. For everything."

Maria sighed, her anger melting into empathy. "Just give her time, Wanda. And maybe someday, she'll be ready to hear you out."

Wanda watched Maria walk away, the weight of her mistakes pressing down on her. She turned and left, hoping that someday, she would have the chance to make things right.

Days turned into weeks, and Y/N slowly began to rebuild her life. Natasha and Maria continued to support her, helping her find new routines and rediscover old passions. Y/N started painting again, the act of creating something beautiful offering a solace she hadn't felt in a long time.

One evening, as Y/N worked on a canvas, Natasha and Maria sat nearby, watching her with quiet pride.

"You're really getting back into it." Maria said, admiring the vibrant colors taking shape.

Y/N smiled, a genuine warmth in her eyes. "It feels good. It's like… I'm finding pieces of myself again."

Natasha nodded, her eyes filled with a mixture of sadness and hope. "We're so proud of you, Y/N. You're stronger than you know."

Y/N set down her brush, looking at her friends with gratitude. "I couldn't have done this without you two. You've been my rock through all of this."

Maria reached over, squeezing Y/N's hand. "And we always will be. No matter what."

As they sat together, the sun setting outside, Y/N felt a flicker of hope. The road to healing was long, and the scars of her past might never fully fade, but she knew she wasn't walking it alone. And with Natasha and Maria by her side, she felt ready to face whatever came next.

Months passed, and Y/N continued to avoid Wanda. The once close friendship seemed irreparably damaged, and every time Y/N saw Wanda from a distance, her heart ached with a mix of longing and pain.

One day, while shopping for groceries, Y/N ran into an old mutual friend of theirs. They exchanged pleasantries, but Y/N could sense the underlying tension.

"Have you talked to Wanda?" Agatha asked cautiously.

Y/N shook her head. "No. I'm not ready. I don't think I ever will be."

Agatha nodded sympathetically. "She misses you, you know. She talks about you all the time."

Y/N's heart clenched. "It doesn't change what happened. Some things can't be fixed."

As Y/N walked home, her thoughts were a turbulent mix of past and present. She knew she had to keep moving forward, even if it meant leaving some parts of her past behind.

Back at her apartment, she found Natasha and Maria waiting for her, their expressions a mix of concern and support.

"How was your day?" Natasha asked, her tone gentle.

Y/N smiled faintly. "It was okay. Just ran into someone from the past."

Maria raised an eyebrow. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Y/N shook her head. "No, it's just… a reminder of everything. But I'm okay. I have you guys, and that's enough."

Natasha and Maria exchanged a glance, then pulled Y/N into a hug.

"We're here for you, no matter what," Maria whispered. "You're never alone."

all the things I did, just so I could call you mine.

After so long, Y/N finally found the courage to face Wanda. The thought of seeing her again had gnawed at her for weeks, and now, standing in front of the café where they had agreed to meet, her heart pounded in her chest. As she pushed open the door, the familiar chime of the bell overhead sent a wave of nostalgia washing over her.

Wanda was already there, seated at a corner table, her fingers nervously tracing patterns on the surface. She looked up as Y/N approached, a hesitant smile forming on her lips.

"Hey," Wanda greeted softly, her voice tinged with uncertainty.

"Hey," Y/N replied, taking a seat opposite her. The air between them was thick with unspoken words and unresolved tension.

For a moment, neither of them spoke, the silence heavy and awkward. Y/N glanced around the café, memories of happier times flooding her mind. This place had once been their sanctuary, a haven for shared laughter and secret confessions. Now, it felt like a foreign land, tainted by the weight of their fractured friendship.

Wanda broke the silence first. "I… I'm so sorry, Y/N. For everything. I never meant to hurt you. I was selfish and careless, and I didn't realize how much I was pushing you away until it was too late."

Y/N listened, her eyes focused on the table. She could feel Wanda's gaze on her, pleading for understanding, but she couldn't bring herself to meet it just yet.

"I know I messed up," Wanda continued, her voice cracking. "I was dealing with a lot, but that's no excuse for how I treated you. You were always there for me, and I took that for granted. I'm so, so sorry."

When Wanda finished, Y/N took a deep breath, finally looking up to meet her eyes. "I appreciate the apology, Wanda. I really do. But it doesn't change what happened. The damage has been done."

Wanda nodded, tears welling up in her eyes. "I know. And I don't expect you to forgive me right away. I just wanted you to know how sorry I am."

Y/N sighed, the weight of the past months pressing down on her. "Do you know what it's been like for me? You disappeared when I needed you the most. I had to deal with everything alone, and it felt like a part of me was missing."

Wanda bit her lip, her guilt evident. "I'm sorry, Y/N. I wish I could take it all back."

"I covered for you, Wanda," Y/N said, her voice growing more intense. "I told everyone you were with me when you weren't. I defended you to our friends, even when they told me to let you go. I did all of that because I wanted to believe that you still cared. Because I loved you."

Wanda's eyes widened in surprise. "Loved me? Y/N, I…"

"Not just as a friend, Wanda," Y/N interrupted, her voice trembling with emotion. "I loved you. I still do. But not in the way you think. I was in love with you. And every time I lied, every time I covered for you, it was because I wanted to feel like you were still mine in some way."

Tears streamed down Wanda's face. "I had no idea, Y/N. If I had known…"

"It wouldn't have changed anything," Y/N said, shaking her head. "You've changed, Wanda. Our friendship isn't the same anymore, and I don't think it ever will be. I've spent so long pretending, holding on to a hope that you'd come back, but the truth is, you're not the same person I fell in love with."

Y/N continued to confess her love, the words tumbling out like a dam had finally burst. She needed to let it all out, to say everything that had been weighing on her heart, as if this was the last chance she would ever get.

"You don't understand, Wanda," Y/N began, her voice trembling. "From the moment we met, I knew there was something special about you. I felt this connection, this bond that I couldn't explain. I loved the way you laughed, the way you saw the world, the way you made me feel like I was important. Every little thing about you drew me in."

Wanda sat silently, tears streaming down her face, as Y/N continued.

"I remember the late-night talks, the secrets we shared, the way you made me feel like I was the only person who mattered. I fell in love with you, not just as a friend, but deeply, completely, and utterly in love. You became my world, Wanda. You were my everything. And I was so scared to tell you because I didn't want to lose what we had."

Y/N's voice broke, and she took a deep breath to steady herself. "But then you started pulling away, and it felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest. I didn't understand why you were distancing yourself, why you were using me as an alibi. I tried to hold on, to keep our friendship alive, because I couldn't bear the thought of losing you. I covered for you, I lied for you, all because I hoped you'd come back. Because I loved you so much, it hurts."

Wanda's shoulders shook with silent sobs, "You were my light, Wanda. And when you left, it felt like the world went dark. I kept telling myself that you'd come back, that things would go back to the way they were. But I can't keep pretending anymore. You've changed, and maybe I have too."

Y/N's eyes locked onto Wanda's, a mixture of sadness and resolve in her gaze. "I've been holding on to this hope that you'd see me, really see me, and realize how much I love you. But I can't keep doing this to myself. I need to move on, to find a way to heal. I need to let go of the idea of us, because it's tearing me apart."

Wanda's voice was barely a whisper as she spoke, her eyes filled with regret. "I never wanted to hurt you, Y/N. I wish I could take it all back."

"I know," Y/N replied softly. "But we can't change the past. We can only move forward. And as much as it hurts, I need to do that for myself. I need to let go of you, of us, so I can find a way to be happy again."

all the things you did. well, I hope I was your favorite crime.

Wanda's tears continued to fall, her expression one of deep regret. "Y/N, I… I never meant for things to get this bad. I never wanted to hurt you."

Y/N shook her head, a mix of anger and sorrow in her eyes. "But you did, Wanda. You hurt me again and again. You pushed me away, used me as an alibi, lied to me, and broke me over and over. Every time I tried to reach out, you shut me down. You made me feel like I wasn't enough, like I was nothing."

Wanda's voice trembled. "I know I made mistakes. I know I was selfish and careless. I'm so sorry."

"But sorry isn't enough," Y/N interrupted, her voice rising with the pain she had kept bottled up for so long. "I can't keep pretending that everything's okay when it's not. I can't keep letting you back into my life only for you to tear me apart again. It's suffocating, Wanda. Every time I see you, it hurts so much that I can barely breathe."

Wanda's face crumpled as she tried to hold back her sobs. "I never wanted to be the reason for your pain. I wish I could make it right."

"You can't," Y/N said, her tone resolute. "I've tried to forgive you, to move past it, but every time I think I'm okay, you come back and everything falls apart again. I need to let go of you, Wanda. I need to find a way to heal, and I can't do that if you're still in my life."

Wanda's voice was barely audible. "Are you saying we can't even be friends?"

Y/N nodded, tears streaming down her face. "Yes. We can't be friends. Seeing you, talking to you, it's just too painful. I hate you for what you did to me, for how you broke me and made me feel worthless. But even after all that, I know I'd do it all over again for you. That's the worst part. I'd let you hurt me again if it meant I could be close to you. And that's why I have to walk away."

Wanda reached out, but Y/N stepped back, shaking her head. "Please, Y/N, don't go. We can fix this. I can change."

"It's too late for that," Y/N replied, her voice cracking. "I need to do this for me. I need to find a way to be happy without you." She paused, "Because the more I love you, the more it hurts. I don't think that's how it should work."

With that, Y/N turned and walked away, each step feeling like a weight was being lifted from her shoulders, even as her heart ached with the loss. She knew this was the right thing to do, even if it hurt like hell.

Wanda watched her go, her heart shattering with every step Y/N took. She knew she had lost something precious, something she might never get back. And as much as it hurt, she knew she had to let Y/N go, to allow her to find the peace she deserved.

your favorite crime 'cause baby, you were mine.

[theconstellationprincess]

Whumptober day 13: familiar curse.

Celebrimbor had resigned himself to being the last descendant of Feanor, the end of the line, and then he met Elrond. Kind, wonderful Elrond who calls Maglor and Maedhros his fathers. Perhaps he is not alone in his standing after all.

-

When he first meets Elrond, he is unsure of what to expect, because while he trusts Gil-galad to not send him someone dangerous or untrustworthy, it was Celebrimbor's uncles who took Elrond and his twin from their family, who kept them for a number of years, away from elven society.

During that first day, neither of them bring up Feanor, the Silmarils, or the oath. Celebrimbor allows himself some peace when Elrond seems more nervous about the fact that Celebrimbor is a well-known smith than that he is related to the House of Feanor. His fascination with Celebrimbor's work is flattering, though uneccessary, and Celebrimbor finds himself thoroughly charmed by the peredhel.

This ease is why, when Elrond enters Celebrimbor's office the following morning wearing a cloak embroided with the star of Feanor, he promptly chokes on his tea and sputters, unable to tear his eyes away from the design. Elrond is worried, rushing over and checking on Celebrimbor with concern in his eyes and a frown on his lips.

Waving his concern off, Celebrimbor straightens and sets his tea down. Now that Elrond is closer, he can see the design even clearer, and it is most certainly the 8-point star that Celebrimbor is still fond of, even with all of its... associations. Elrond must notice his gaze, because he follows it to the cloak, and to Celebrimbors surprise, blushes.

"I apologize, I had only thought-" Elrond takes a shuffling step backwards, hands grabbing at his sleeves and turning his face away from Celebrimbor and towards a bookshelf. "I cannot wear them in Lindon." Oh. Oh. The explanation offered is hesitant, unsure, and absolutely heartbreaking. Most of the elves in Middle Earth do not take kindly to those who bear the symbol of Feanor, but Eregion is a settlement unlike any others. A large remainder of those who are still loyal to Feanor and his sons reside in his city, loyal now to him.

"You have no need to apologize, Elrond. It simply... surprised me. I was not aware you held any love for the Feanorians." Celebrimbor replies slowly, taking another sip of his tea while he waits for Elrond to respond. Celebrimbor observes his face, which rapidly transitions between confused, distressed, and then finally settles on slightly manic humour.

"Lord Celebrimbor I-" He laughs, running a hand through his hair. Celebrimbor begins to feel worried when by the end of the laughter it sounds more like sounds of anguish than joy. "I suppose I should have rather asked for your permission before counting myself among those of your house."

"Permission before- Elrond what are you talking about?" Celebrimbor asks, standing and approaching the half-elf, whose legs seem to falter beneath him for a moment. Celebrimbor rushes forward, supporting his weight- far too light honestly, does Ereinion not take care of his herald?- for the moment it takes for Elrond to recover.

"It is well known, in Lindon. As a child I found little sense in censoring my words. I used to only refer to them as atya and atarinya, but that is reserved now for certain company." Elrond clearly sees something in his expression, because he squints and then speaks very slowly, as if to a child. "Maedhros and Maglor. Elros and my foster fathers. I belong to the house of Feanor- though I can... I cannot, if it makes you uncomfortable, Lord Celebrimbor. You are the last of the blood relatives in the family." Elrond's smile is bitter, the light in his eyes dimmed, and Celebrimbor can't have that now can he?

"Forgive me, Elrond, for making you question your place. I was not aware that you viewed Maglor and Maedhros as more than those who haunt your dreams." Celebrimbor speaks softly, backing up and taking his seat once more. He nods to the seat across from him, waiting for Elrond to sit, because he still looks peaky, before continuing. "Though you are not related by blood, if it is as you say and you consider Maedhros and Maglor your fathers, than I see no reason why you should not have claim over the title of descendant of Feanor."

Elrond looks relieved, and Celebrimbor momentarily reflects on the fact that this might be one of the oddest mornings he has ever had. Only yesterday he had been worried over the fact that Elrond may try to claim reparations for the wrongs Celebrimbor's house had done to him, but instead he has gained a... cousin. A relative.

"Lord Celebrimbor, I apologize. We got very off track and I do not seem to recall my purpose for coming to your office." Elrond says after a few moments. He looks lost, and Celebrimbor- who had already decided he quite liked this peredhel yesterday- finds himself with the desire to prevent that look from ever being on Elrond's face again.

"It is of no matter, Elrond. And you may drop the title, after all we are cousins." The blush returns to Elrond's cheeks, a pleased smile twisting the corners of his lips despite the way he clearly tries to stop it. Celebrimbor smiles back, taking a sip of his tea and grimacing, for it has grown cold. He sets it down with a sigh, and he intends to make polite conversation, but what falls from his lips is instead, "How much do you know of the oath?"

The smile on Elrond's face falters, and Celebrimbor curses his clumsy words, he should not have asked that. He is not sure he even wants to know, for he would not wish the up close experience of wrath the oaths caused on anyone.

"I know enough," The reply is quiet, contemplative. "They took us. They left us. Twice. I will not get to see them, even when I sail west." The last sentence seems to be the undoing, and Elrond's voice falters, thick with emotions. Celebrimbor nods, once, and then clears his throat.

"You will have me, cousin." Celebrimbor assures, blinking rapidly to clear his vision. He has long accepted that he will not be able to reunite with his family, but it is fresher for Elrond, and it makes the old wound feel as though it has begun to weep anew.

Elrond sniffs, tries to discretely wipe his eyes, and then steers the conversation towards Celebrimbor's broach. Celebrimbor indulges, how could he not? And they resume the easy manner of discussion from yesterday.

-

"You will have to let me forge you one," Celebrimbor insists over dinner, as the topic of the broach is brought up again. Inspired by their conversation this morning, Celebrimbor had shown Elrond some of his recent work, because he is not above seeking praise. Elrond is very generous with his praise, and Celebrimbor asks to see Elrond's recent work, if he has any to offer.

Written works are hesitantly handed over, a mixture of what clearly works for the High King and personal projects. "You are a gifted wordsmith," Celebrimbor had muttered out, reading through the pages. He is glad that he looked up for a moment, because the smile on Elrond's face shone brighter than any silmaril.

At Elrond's suggestion, they move away from his works and back to Celebrimbor's. They discuss matters of forging and metals, matters that Elrond is surprisingly educated about, until dinner. Celebrimbor catches Elrond staring at the broach, and so offers to forge one for him.

"You will do no such thing," Elrond protests, taking a sip from his wine. He is relaxed, smiling, and Celebrimbor knows then that he must forgore Elrond something, a souvenir for his time in Eregion.

"I will," Celebrimbor states simply, chuckling when Elrond continues to protest. Feanorian stubbornness knows no bounds, but Elrond cannot stop Celebrimbor from forging, and Celebrimbor knows that Elrond is far too polite to refuse a gift. He will win, in the end.

-

The day Elrond is set to leave Eregion, Celebrimbor presents him with a small jewelry box, smirking. Elrond glares at him, but it is short lived, when he opens the box to find the broach. It is beautiful, Celebrimbor knows, but the reverence with which Elrond looks at it is unexpected.

"Thank you," Elrond says, voice suspiciously thick. Celebrimbor chuckles good naturedly and hugs him, tightly.

"You're welcome." He replies softly, "You can repay me by coming to visit again soon."

"Very well." Elrond agrees, pulling out of the hug and looking at Celebrimbor, deep into his eyes. "I will see you soon, cousin."

[neuroprincess]

Law & Order: SVU - First Date + First Kiss (Preferences)

Classification: Fluff

Pairing: Alex Cabot, Casey Novak, Liz Donnelly, Olivia Benson and Rita Calhoun

Warnings: None

Word count: +1000

Alex Cabot

- The blonde quickly pulls herself together, trying to mask the confusion of feelings and the shock of seeing you after so many years without any contact, failing miserably. She feels a little lost, not knowing how to act, slightly out of it. And continues like this for the next few weeks, even showing up almost every day at the bakery until finally getting up the courage to ask you out to dinner. It's a fancy restaurant, at a table away from curious eyes and the atmosphere is pleasant, you talk about your lives so far, between laughs, wine and an occasional physical touch, like hands accidentally crossing, her touch on your back as you get up from the chair, pinky fingers so close as you walk along the sidewalk that one can feel the warmth of the other. Alex insists on taking you home, you stop in front of the apartment door and both smile nervously. "I missed you." She whispers, tucking a stubborn lock of hair behind your ear. "No more than I missed you." You stare at each other for a few seconds and ADA leans in, asking permission with her gaze to continue, then you nod, joining your lips in a gentle and needy kiss, full of emotion, longing. 

Casey Novak

- It was no surprise when, in the middle of dinner, Casey's phone rang and she was forced to run after some judge to get warrants, she had barely touched the food, nor had you, both immersed in a fun and spontaneous flirting. The following week she's waiting for you in the lobby of the precinct with a box of your favorite dessert, which was mentioned at dinner, and a mysterious proposal. She takes you for a apparently directionless walk until ending up at a softball practice cage, no one else there, all the equipment waiting. Her words are patient, hands soft around your waist, body warm and slightly sweaty behind yours as her fingers wander up the forearm to put hands together and teach you how to use the bat, it's almost too much, all the sensations and little things the ginger provokes without even realizing it. "Good shot, sugar." She celebrates happily when you hit one target, proud of the result of hard work, and lifts you, twirling in the air, faces coming closer and you kiss as if it were the right thing to do, it's deep and passionate, all the tension built up over weeks expressed in one act. 

Liz Donnelly

- Another night spent working late, it's become a kind of routine you've started to get used to. Long nights full of paperwork, words that start to blur together in a few hours and a dozen cups of coffee, sometimes energy drinks. The last folder has been checked and the notes reviewed, when the knock on the door wakes you up, surprised, as the building seemed empty except for the security team. "You know it's 1am, right?" Liz smiles, entering your office, a bottle of whisky and two glasses in hand "I thought you might need these." And offers one of them, a little fuller because she knows it's necessary. Hours pass without either of you noticing, the bottle is half full and you're both on the floor, high heels thrown on the carpet, messy hairstyles and trivial conversations. "So, Cabot and you...?" She asks suggestively. "Oh, no, no, actually... she's my sister." The woman is clearly surprised, you expect some kind of negativity, maybe a little suspicion, but she just smiles and approaches. "Great!" Closing the distance with a half-drunk, slow and sensual kiss. 

Olivia Benson  

- Board game days become a bi-weekly program between you, the two families start to meet often and a bond quickly forms, not unexpected considering how close your children are, like flesh and blood. The kids have fun in friendly competitions and eat snacks, sometimes preferring to play in the garden or watch random cartoons until they fall asleep. This time it's different, the pair went to a sleepover, you opened a bottle of wine, sipping it between relaxed conversations, a nice meal and close to midnight you're still awake. "Finally some time for the moms." She raises her glass and knocks on yours to toast the break, you both love your children, but they seem to be plugged in 24/7. "And without having to watch Trolls, I've memorized all the songs." You mumble, drinking the rest of the wine and snuggling up on the sofa, the woman unconsciously rests her arm on the headboard, touching your shoulder, both smile and try to pay attention to The Golden Girls. Almost impossible to do when long fingers wander over your bare skin, the genuine laughter and the magnetism that leads you to stare at her, enchanted. Eyes meet, breaths become heavy and you stop fighting the urge to finally kiss Olivia. 

Rita Calhoun

- Her presence is very pleasant, bringing some kind of comfort to your tiring work days and boring shifts, there are delightful conversations when the restaurant is almost empty, occasionally she even makes a witty joke. As a result, you've become good friends, despite all the differences, from personality, age to social class. Bonds are created in the small details, maybe in the kind and gentle way she treats you, how she pays attention to the almost insignificant things you've left hanging in the air during a conversation, proof of which is the limited edition of your favorite book she brings to one of the dinners. Inside is a card with an address, a time and telling you to meet her there. So you do, wearing one of your favorite outfits and silently praying to be appropriate, in the end it doesn't matter much, she has prepared a candlelit dinner in the botanical garden, just you two, the nature and the stars. "I really enjoyed our night, it was lovely." You whisper and play nervously with the hands. "And what about me?" Rita teases, stopping walking, and you blush nodding positively. She tries to say something more, but is interrupted by your lips on hers in a clumsy impulse, there's a doubt in the air, answered by her hands on your waist pulling you in to deepen the passionate kiss.

taglist: @scarr0713 @geekyandgay98 @heidss @loudchaoscoffee @quailbagutte @ctrlamira @milffilm @prentiss-theorem @inlovewithmiddleagewomen @grandtacoranchnickel @@multifandomlesbianic @janeyseymour @storiesofsvu

Junte-se à minha taglist aqui ^^

[tmwcs]

Hi Reina!!! <33 what would be Heethan reaction if they were to a mariage and when the it's time to throw the bouquet, reader caught the bouquet? (as you may know that if we catch the bouquet we are supposed to get married) I love you so much you're my favorite writer <33

🦝 anon

oooohohoho this is juicy! I’m gonna answer in great detail!

First off, he’d make sure you both attend a friends wedding with you dressed to the nines, despite you not being the bride. You’re the most beautiful girl in his eyes and even though he has you all to himself, he likes to show you off. ;)

He’d watch over you like a hawk the entire time. If anyone dares to approach and ask you to dance, they’re going to meet an unpleasant end after this wedding.

his eyes are going to watch you with an expression of desire and yearning. You look too good, and he’s going to stand off to the side leaned up against a wall in his tux, head tilted and smirking. he won’t ever be more than 3-5 feet away from you.

you stand among a group of friends, not really intending on participating in the traditional event. You stood off the side and watched all the other girls reaching up and yelling out to the bride, desperate to get their hands on that bouquet.

the bride turns around, her back facing the eager crowd and she closes her eyes and swings her hands over her head. Her lack of coordination and aim caused the bouquet to lapse over to the side and fly directly in your direction. you gently catch the bouquet with wide eyes and a surprise expression. 😲

The girls all pout and frown as they see you holding the large bouquet. It’s heavier than how it looks. You look up at the crowd with your lips stuttering, trying to find the words to calm them.

suddenly, you feel yourself being thrashed away. Pulled at the waist, you’ gasp out your breath and become shook by being taken away from the audience.

Dragged away, everyone stood with wide eyes, just as shocked as you when you slowly disappear. You only see his backside as he continues to pull you through the rows of parked cars, until he gets to his own.

his movements and level of force nearly had you convinced that he was angry. But for what? It wasn’t as if you intentionally tried to catch the bouquet.

he throws you into the seat, before getting in and starting the car. His eyes are stern, he displays no smile and doesn’t say a thing. To make matters even more frightening, he steered the wheel with one hand while he maintained a strong hold on your neck, slightly having you leaned in, facing him, over the center console. “Babe? Heeseung? Please….why won’t you talk to me?”

he keeps his eyes on the road. His silence wasn’t the only thing that was constant, he didn’t bother to look at you the entire drive, only staring dead at the road. Your body halfway twisted as he kept you in close proximity over the center, your rear bed barely touching the seat, you start to feel sore and uncomfortable. Why won’t he say anything? Was he angry that you caught the bouquet without his permission?

the drive finally ends and he quickly unbuckles his seatbelt and gets out, dragging you along with him. You’re in an unfamiliar setting and grow more fearful as he takes you inside a building.

A desk at the front is before you. There stands a lone woman who greets the both of you as you entered. “Hello, what can I help you with?”

“you have a a magistrate available?” His tone is deep and stern, just like his eyes.

“Why yes sir, are you seeking our walk in services?”

He quickly answers, ensuring that you stand behind either his hand gripped around your wrist. He fills out some documents, while the woman comes back to the lobby with the magistrate. “Hello there! What a lovely couple. My assistant has told me you are looking to seal your vows and need your marriage officiated, and that you’re in a hurry?”

Heeseung nods without looking at the minister, who willfully agrees to officiate your ‘wedding’ through a high level of kindness and understanding. “I’ll be happy to do that for you both. Do you have anyone to stand and bear witness to the ceremony?” Heeseung nods once more and just then, the door opens. Six young men enter, one of which was Jake.

���H-Heeseung….” You stutter as he drags you behind him, following the minister. “Heeseung!” You whisper desperately after experiencing his ignorant behavior once more.

He stands you across from him. The pastel beige colored dress served as your bridal gown as he joined his hands with yours, and the minister begins his introduction. “Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today…” Heeseung’s hands tighten around yours, and you stand confused and scared. Is he seriously going to make you marry him right now? In this way? What about his agreeing in letting you finish college? Why? All because you bc sight a bouquet?

The minister asks Heeseung to repeat the vows. When it came to your turn, he strategically tugs on your palms, causing you to hiccup an “I do.” Never allowing the minister to suspect the use of force that was present. “I hereby announce you as husband, and wife. You may now kiss the bride.”

The six young men all cheer and chant Heeseung’s name as he pulls you by the neck into a passionate kiss. Just as quickly as he brought you in, he took you right back out upon finalizing the rightful procedures and signing the marriage license. All of his friends continue their chant as they trailed behind and followed closely behind you both.

He pulls you back inside the car, holds you by the neck for the final time and pulls you into a kiss. Pausing, he whispers against your pout with a grin…

“Catching bouquets, are we?” He slaps another kiss on your lips. “I thought you wanted to wait until you finished college. Guess you couldn’t wait.”

You tried to object and set the record straight but he wouldn’t let you. He grips your mouth into a full make out. “You know what comes next after marriage baby?”

You shake your head. “Heeseung no…”

“Oh yes.”

His eyes couldn’t hide it. You knew better that this man, while carrying the potential of being a great father, merely only wanted to put his deed inside you to trap you for all eternity, ensuring that you could never leave even if you had wanted to. The thought of marrying him and having his baby was a dream that you wanted to experience the traditional way and I due time, but not like this. “Heeseung no…not like this.”

“It’s so damn cute that you—“ kissing you once again, he pauses as he tucks your hair behind an ear. “think you have a choice.”

Your eyes sting with the tears coming through. “You wouldn’t want to break the traditions of marriage, would you? After all…”

He leans closer. “You’re the one that caught the bouquet. And I’m a man that doesn’t like tie waste time, especially with my pretty wife.” Grabbing on to your thigh, he pulls you into the backseat and crawls onto of you. Grinning darkly, he looks down at you with a taunting smile that took pity on your helpless appearance. “Now, lay there and watch me fuck a baby inside you. I’ll make you into a mommy, make you quit school, and be my perfect stay at home wife and mother to our children. I’ll take care of everything else. You will stay safe and forever be near me. I’m going to watch my baby grow inside you. You’re going to be my perfect soulmate.”

He goes on and on. You see the insanity of his obsession and love for you, and it scares you to death. “I want you to always remember this y/n…you did this to me. You have this effect and made me crave you. This is all your fault and I’m going to remind you every single day.”

Your breath hitches. “Heeseung…it’s not my fault that I was born the way that I am. I never asked for this…for you to choose me. Please take it easy.”

He smirks again. “Oh pretty…maybe you shouldn’t have been born then? Maybe in the next life, you should remember that. But if you still come into the world, don’t worry, I’ll come find you and make you mine again.”

[miudiares]

''Your hair is very soft-'' Qiu Lin x Reader

Synopsis: You're hanging out with Qiu at your house on a rainy day when you suddenly take notice of Qiu's fluffy hair

a/n: Takes place during step 2 keep in mind it's my first time writing- there will be mistakes and bad grammar /ᐠ. .ᐟ\ฅ

It's another uneventful day in Golden Grove, today was a rainy day and you found yourself in the warmth of your bedroom, laying on your bed staring at the rain droplets on your window, when suddenly you hear. . . ''AGH!! How is this level so freaking hard!?'' ah, yes...you almost forgot Qiu was here too.

You and Qiu hang out almost everyday, it's such a common occurence you've already exhausted all possible topics of conversation resolving to just doing your own thing in the company of the other without the need to say a word, not that you minded of course, Qiu was one of your favourite people, you could even say you had a tiny little crush on them but nothing big you know. .

While lost in thought your eyes suddenly fell on the back of Qiu's head, they were busy trying to beat a level of some videogame their parents gifted them at the start of summer, Qiu was so concentrated that they didn't even notice your hand slowly approaching them until they've felt it running through their hair.

They froze.

Qiu's hair was surprisingly soft! That's the first thing you thought, honestly you've always wanted to try touching it but Qiu always managed to slip away every time, you could hear a voice coming from the little console in their hands saying something among the lines of ''You've lost'' then you noticed Qiu had turned completely radio silent and their ears looked a bit red, then an evil grin started appearing on your face but you quickly turned it into an innocent smile ''Qiu your hair is so soft!'' then Qiu turned to look back at you with a pouty expression on their face ''since when did I give you permission to touch my hair?'' they didn't look angry though, but...flustered??

Oh. so this is the kind of game they wanted to play? Alright you dont mind a bit of teasing ''I can't? you didn't say anything when i touched it though'' you said poking at their cheek with your finger as they frustately stared at the wooden floor sighing in defeat '' I've never said that you CAN'T touch, but it would be nice if you warn me next time you know..'' they say, the last part was almost like a tiny whisper but you managed to catch it, noticing your eyes staring at them they decide to get back into their game, but this time laying their head onto the matress of your bed, suddenly you find yourself giving Qiu head scratches while they try to concentrate on their game, but by how red their ears are, they're not doing that good of a job, hehe~

Flustered Qiu is the best kind of Qiu, also im sorry if this sucks- I tried(╥ ω ╥)

[snz-eriya]

A Strange Feeling (D/an H/eng snzfic, H/S/R, ft. C/aelus)

me: man I think I have writer's block again

also me: *writes nearly 2k words of horn*

anyway this is a valentine's post for @mochindayo !!!!!!! ur art is so good I wanna eat it and u deserve to have the best day ever every day!!! I hope you enjoy this fic I give as tribute to your amazingness :')

Caelus pressed on the button to open his door, wearily. It wasn’t like time was very clear if one were to look out the window, given that they were in space. Time itself was a little vague on the Astral Express. Nevertheless, he had been attempting to sleep for what felt like five years. Though to his exaggeratory mind, it was probably more like a few hours. But for some reason, his mind was running wild. No thought was consistent, only one random idea after another that captivated his attention and kept rest just out of arm’s reach. Eventually he got tired of trying, and decided to walk around the ship in hopes to tire out his body.

Or his mind, hopefully. Though it never really did seem to quiet down.

He walked past March’s room, and then Dan Heng’s. Just before he was about to turn the corner, he paused. He stepped backwards until he was in front of Dan Heng’s room again. Then back a few more steps to March’s. Then back to Dan Heng’s. 

He likely would have seemed to be a lunatic in someone else’s eyes. But there was a strange feeling that he got when he walked past specifically Dan Heng’s room. An indescribable feeling. An emotion? Something that made him uneasy. Whatever it was, it made him pause. He reached a hand out, to test if the door was unlocked. It probably would be. Dan Heng’s ‘room’ was the archive, after all. And as private as he was, he didn’t really mind if someone came in without permission as long as it was for a good reason. Was feeling weird a good reason? Probably not, but who knows? Maybe Dan Heng was dying, or attacked, or something. Probably not. Unless Dan Heng refused to be loud even when dying.

Opening up the door, Caelus was relieved to see that Dan Heng was not dying. Though he expected the other to at least be asleep or something at this time(?) of night(?). But no, his fellow Nameless was up and about, at the archives, sorting through various documents and books they had collected over their journeys. Which, that was good, it wasn’t like Caelus could be bothered to remember every detail of all those wordy papers (he could barely stand to read a few sentences without getting bored) but when everyone else had already gone to bed? He could have done it earlier and avoided spending time with everyone.

Caelus had a feeling just standing there and not saying anything for an extended period of time would not give him any avoidance for creepiness, so he decided to speak up.

“Dan Heng?”

The other jumped, as if surprised by his presence. Kind of strange. The doors weren’t exactly quiet. Not a big deal though. Maybe he was just focused.

“Caelus…” Dan Heng muttered, relaxing. Maybe he was expecting an enemy too. Or for Caelus to be dying instead. In any case, he turned back to his work. “Is there something you need?”

Caelus stood for a moment. Not really. For the weird feeling to go away? But how was he supposed to describe that? “Uh… no,” he eventually replied. Dan Heng looked back at him, an eyebrow raised at his answer.

Silence stretched between them once again.

Caelus really had to stop chasing every feeling that interested him.

“Uh… so… still working? Y’know everyone else is asleep,” he finally spoke up again, the awkward energy starting to get to him.

“I could say the same to you,” Dan Heng responded coolly. It seemed like he dropped trying to figure out what Caelus was doing there, and instead turned back to the archives once more.

Caelus still felt weird. So, ignoring his own note-to-self, he approached to stare at Dan Heng’s work over his shoulder. To be honest, his eyes were so tired that the words sort of jumbled together into an incoherent mess. It was more so just to get his crew mate’s attention.

And get his attention it did. Dan Heng glanced over, turning to face Caelus again. “If you don’t need anything, why are you still here? You should be sleeping.”

“Y’know I could just… say the same thing to you, right?” Caelus replied, trying to keep an exhaustedly smug grin off his face. “You’re archiving this late? I didn’t know there was still stuff left to archive.”

“There’s always things left. Please leave me be. I have work to do,” Dan Heng requested again. Though, like he had the mind of a child, it was like being told to stop doing something just made the trailblazer want to do it more. 

“I can help, if you want. I’m sure I can handle the, uh…” He picked up a random book, squinting at its title. “Underground Encyclopedia of Plants and Fungle.”

“Fungi. You’re not a child. You know how to read,” Dan Heng sighed in exasperation. Putting a hand to his head like the interaction was giving him a headache. 

“Meh, close enough. C’mon, it’ll get done faster if we do it together.”

“It’s fine.”

“Look, I know you like it all to be perfect, but there’s gotta be some kind of autocorrect in this thing, right?”

“Please, Caelus, just leave me be.” 

Dan Heng sounded desperate, which was strange. Typically Dan Heng would act annoyed but compliant, even more so when it came to March than him. But looking in the Nameless’ glassy eyes, it seemed like he was a few seconds away from begging.

Wait, glassy eyes? Oh, fuck. Was he actually dying? Was that his dying wish? His last words?

Caelus opened his mouth to apologize for making Dan Heng’s last moments so painful, when–

“heh’GKshu!” Dan Heng quickly turned away as soon as the sneeze rang through him. And suddenly Caelus realized that he wasn’t dying. In the traditional sense, anyway.

“Oh,” he said.

“What?” Dan Heng replied, turning back like nothing had happened at all.

“Uh, you’re sick?” Caelus stated, because it was obvious. After the evidence, anyway.

“I’m not,” Dan Heng immediately denied, turning his head away with arms crossed.

“Uh-huh.” Caelus’ eyes lidded disbelievingly, he had a small smirk on his face. “So why’re you still working, huh? To convince us that you’re not sick? Or to convince yourself? Because, just saying, I never would have seen you if I wasn’t already worried you were dying.”

Dan Heng scoffed. “Well, I’m definitely not dying.”

“You are sick, though.”

“heH’GXkshu!” 

Dan Heng faced Caelus again after turning away to sneeze, about to protest for a second time. Caelus managed to shut it down before it started again.

“Yeah, yeah, you’re not sick, and the whole sneezing is just… a coincidence?” He waved his hand absently.

Dan Heng didn’t reply that time. His arguments had been effectively dismantled, and Caelus wasn’t stupid, just nonsensical most of the time.

He sighed, resting his head on an open palm, kept upright by the table. Caelus waited for a moment to see if anything more would be said, but he was met with silence. He took it as permission to carry out his plan.

He reached over and placed the back of his hand onto Dan Heng’s cheek, only to be met with his disapproving stare. “Wrong spot,” he muttered.

“Oh. Right,” Caelus recalled, moving his touch to the man’s forehead instead. He was met with a dry, hot temperature, something that he assumed was probably not good. 

He pulled back, hands on his hips. “Yeah, in my very professional opinion, you should be in bed. Not at a desk.”

“But–”

“Nuh-uh, doctor’s orders, unless you want me to get a literal doctor in here.”

“Caelus–”

“I will call Natasha!” Caelus pulled out his phone, just to make his point entirely clear.

That seemed to shake the last of Dan Heng’s resolve. His shoulders lowered like he had given up all remaining fight. “Fine.”

Caelus smiled, pleased with his victory. “Good. Now, c’mon.” He took Dan Heng’s hand and started dragging him up without another thought.

“Wh- huh? My bed’s right there,” Dan Heng looked down at his blanket and pillow cluelessly, then back up and Caelus as he continued to be pulled away.

“Yeah, that’s not really a sickbed. Or a bed. Or anything other than a poor man’s attempt,” the trailblazer replied. “You need a real bed. A Trailblazer-patented bed, at that.”

Dan Heng sighed. “You’re ridiculous. There’s no changing your mind, is there?”

“The only person on this ship more stubborn than you is me.”

That was fairly accurate.

As soon as they had left Dan Heng’s room, its owner soon crumpled down into another sneeze.

“heH’IGHkshu! hih’GXKshih! hh- heh… hih-”

“Stuck?” Caelus wondered, glancing back at his companion. His expression was pained, one eye closed and the other watering. He panted, desperately waiting for the urge to take over once again, but it remained out of reach.

“Here,” the trailblazer spoke, opening the door to his room as the lights flickered on all at once. He dragged Dan Heng along with him. The result was immediate.

“hEH’KGhshu! heH’GKshih! heH- hIH’XGkhuh! huh…”

Dan Heng sighed in relief as the fit finally came to an end. He looked about fifteen shades brighter red, though whether that was from the fever or the embarrassment was anyone’s guess. Caelus, for all the satisfaction being helpful gave him, wasn’t exactly willing to let Dan Heng suffer for his weak fulfillment. 

“Now, to bed with you.” He wrapped an arm around Dan Heng’s shoulders, practically carrying him the rest of the way to bed.

The other man had enough energy to cooperate by the time he was being lied down, allowing Caelus to tuck him in like a child despite his protests. He had to admit that it was comfier than his own room.

Caelus let out a breath, like he was exhausted from a workout. “Okay. Now, sleep.”

Dan Heng raised an eyebrow at him. “I can’t do that on command.”

“I’m pretty sure you can. You almost passed out as soon as we got in here.”

Had he? He must have been more tired than he thought.

“And where will you be sleeping? Sharing a bed with me wouldn’t be smart if I’m ill.”

“Yeah, ‘if,’” Caelus rolled his eyes. Then, he pointed his thumb down towards the ground. “The floor.”

Dan Heng stared for a moment. “...The floor.”

Caelus glanced to the side, then back to his companion. “...Why are you surprised? You do it.”

That couldn’t really be argued. For some reason it just felt inhumane when it came to his friend rather than him. Though that was something he could unpack another day.

“Try not to worry about it, Dan Heng. Maybe worry about yourself, for once. The rest of us are fine.” Caelus gave him a real, genuine and caring smile, before walking off towards what was probably a closet.

It was a bit hard to tell, his vision was starting to fade away, and unconsciousness was pulling at him. It was a little embarrassing to admit how relaxed he felt, in his friend’s room rather than his own.

But it gave him a feeling of safety.

And Caelus’ feeling had gone away too, he realized as he glanced back at Dan Heng’s sleeping form. He still didn’t quite have a name for it. Maybe… a feeling that something was wrong. But not just wrong in general. Something that was wrong with someone he cared about. And that was a feeling he wanted to hold onto.

[50calmadeuce]

Ch. 22: Back Home

Warning: Mention of miscarriage. Some chapters have sex.

Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction using characters from the Top Gun: Maverick world, trademarked by Paramount Pictures Corporation. I do not claim ownership of the characters and the world that I am borrowing.

The story and situation I am creating are a work of my imagination and I do not ascribe them to official story canon. This work is for entertainment only and is not a part of the storyline.

I am not profiting financially from the creation and publication of this story, but I do hope it gives you happy thoughts.

These stories are my own, so please do not take them and use them for yourself without my permission. If you see them somewhere else, please let me know. :)

A couple of weeks after your journey from San Diego, you found yourself engrossed in work late one evening in your office. The sound of a knock at the door interrupted your focus. Lifting your eyes, you saw Chuck standing there, holding a small tray filled with snacks.

"Come in," you invited, taking a moment to organize the papers strewn across your desk.

Chuck entered, placing the tray on your desk. "Figured you might need a little something to munch on," he offered, a considerate gesture that brought a moment of warmth to the late hours.

You couldn't help but smile at the thoughtfulness. "Thanks, Chuck. That's really kind of you," you expressed, genuinely touched by the gesture. The sight of the snacks—a mix of fruit, nuts, and some chocolate—was a welcome sight, considering you hadn't realized how much time had passed or how hungry you actually were until now.

Chuck observed the situation, remarking on your evident busyness. "It looks like this new grant project is keeping you quite occupied," he noted, acknowledging the lengthy days you've been putting in.

You responded with a confirming sound, the weight of the work ahead clear in your tone. "This is just the start. I've been going through resumes to find some assistance for the upcoming winter and summer," you explained, signaling the expansive scope of your project and the need for additional hands to manage the workload.

As a yawn escaped you, you promptly covered your mouth with your hand.

Chuck issued a gentle warning, "Well, don't push yourself too hard. I understand with the Lieutenant away, you might dive into work to keep him off your mind, but it's not the best for your health," he pointed out, concern evident in his voice. "And you've seemed pretty worn out lately."

You dismissed the concern with a nonchalant shrug. "Nah, I'm fine. Just still getting my bearings after all those time zone changes a few weeks back," you claimed, attributing your fatigue to the adjustment period rather than the workload or emotional stress.

"Have you heard from the Lieutenant?" he inquired, observing as you picked up a grape from the plate and popped it into your mouth.

After a moment spent chewing and then swallowing, you answered, "No," your tone casual yet hinting at a deeper resignation. "But that's nothing new." You continued eating off of the plate.

Chuck's observation came unexpectedly, drawing a parallel from his experiences, albeit in a different context. "Doc, I'm no rocket scientist, but I've been around horses enough to see when something's up. Are you sure you're not pregnant?" he asked, noting your sudden appetite as you continued to eat grapes.

You stopped mid-motion, a grape poised between your fingers, as his words prompted a rush of thoughts. The realization dawned on you; you and Jake had been cautious only that one time.

The room suddenly felt too small, your mind racing as you tried to piece together the timeline, the possibility that Chuck's offhand comment might hold more truth than jest.

Chuck, realizing the gravity of what he'd suggested, immediately softened his approach. "Hey, I didn't mean to jump to conclusions or anything. It's just, you've been looking a bit off color lately, and now the sudden hunger," he explained, his voice tinged with concern rather than suspicion.

You set the grape back down, suddenly not so hungry. "I... hadn't really considered it," you admitted, the possibility now taking root in your mind. "But now that you mention it, there have been a few signs that I just attributed to stress and being busy." As you glanced down at the grape held delicately between your fingers, a stark realization hit you. You despised grapes. The fact that you were not just tolerating but seemingly enjoying them now added an unexpected layer of complexity to Chuck's question. This sudden shift in your dietary preferences, coupled with the recent context you were forced to consider, made the scenario all the more perplexing and worthy of deep thought. "I'll make a doctor's appointment tomorrow." You looked at Chuck and nodded. "Good night."

A few days after your conversation with Chuck, you found yourself in a different kind of waiting—sitting in a doctor's office, draped in a gown that felt less like clothing and more like a symbol of vulnerability. The anticipation was palpable, the room filled with a silence that seemed to echo your racing thoughts.

The door finally opened, breaking the cycle of your anxious musings. A middle-aged woman stepped in, her curly dark hair framing her face and glasses perched on her nose, exuding an air of professional calmness. "Dr. Seresin, how are you today?" she greeted, her voice carrying a blend of warmth and formality, the sort that healthcare professionals master over years of practice. Her presence, while reassuring, also marked the moment of truth you had been both dreading and anticipating.

"Dr. Katz," you acknowledged her, trying to muster a semblance of calm. "I guess I'm doing okay."

Dr. Katz took a seat, her gaze meeting yours squarely, a gesture that seemed to brace both of you for the forthcoming revelation. "Well, we might as well just get right to it. You're pregnant."

The moment the words left her lips, it felt as though the room's atmosphere shifted dramatically. It was as if all the air had been vacuumed out, leaving behind a charged silence that enveloped you. The reality of her statement hung heavy, a profound turning point that was both intimidating and real.

Dr. Katz, observant and empathetic, noticed the change in your demeanor. Her voice softened as she addressed the situation, "I take it this wasn't planned?"

Releasing a deep breath you hadn't realized you'd been holding, you managed to find your voice. "Not really, but..." Your words trailed off, a mix of emotions swirling within you—surprise, apprehension, perhaps a hint of something else. In that moment, with the reality of your situation settling in, you stood at the threshold of an unexpected journey, pondering the myriad ways it could unfold.

Dr. Katz's gaze briefly settled on the wedding ring adorning your finger, a symbol of commitment that prompted her next question. "I didn't know you were married? Does your husband not know yet?"

Meeting her gaze, you clarified, "I've been married for four years. My husband is currently deployed. Due to a past circumstance, we recently rekindled our relationship."

Dr. Katz turned her attention back to the computer, typing away for a moment before stopping, a note of concern in her expression as she addressed a sensitive topic. "Ah. Being kicked in the stomach and losing the baby." Her gaze shifted back to you, searching, as she asked, "How do you feel about this?"

There was a brief pause as you collected your thoughts, the weight of the question pressing down. "Honestly, nervous," you admitted, your voice carrying the mixed emotions of fear, uncertainty, and perhaps a glimmer of hope or resilience. It was a moment of vulnerability, acknowledging the complexity of your feelings in the face of such unexpected and challenging news. he room seemed to hold its breath as you shared a piece of your past, a shadow that lingered over your present. "After it happened, my husband didn't really talk to me for four years," you revealed, the pain and isolation of that time evident in your voice. Meeting Dr. Katz's eyes, you expressed a fear deeply rooted in your experience. "I don't want that again."

Dr. Katz, sensing the depth of your concerns and the weight of your past experiences, offered a supportive suggestion. "There's a psychologist I can connect you with..."

But you quickly dismissed the idea, a reflexive wave of your hand punctuating your decision. "No. No psychologist. I can deal with this." Your voice carried a mixture of determination and perhaps a hint of apprehension.

Dr. Katz exhaled deeply. "Alright, I'll provide you with that information, just in case you have a change of heart. But do start taking a quality prenatal vitamin. I'll see you in a month's time, purely as a precaution because of the last time. It's not that I'm expecting complications, but I'd rather be safe and ensure everything is on track."

"Okay," you nodded in agreement.

"You're going to be just fine, Y/N," reassured the doctor before exiting the room.

You released a breath you hadn't noticed you'd been holding in.

Entering the kitchen late, you carried a small bag, its contents consisting of prenatal vitamins.

Chuck glanced up. "Everything alright, Doc?"

Setting the bag on the counter, you extracted the vitamins. "You were correct. I'm pregnant."

A smile brightened Chuck's face. "Doc, that's wonderful news! But, why do I sense you're not thrilled?"

"I am happy," you admitted. "It's just the thought of Jake's reaction that's weighing on me."

Chuck nodded, understanding the complexity of the situation. "I think the Lieutenant will be thrilled about it."

"I hope so, but it's my line of work that makes him anxious. Particularly after the last incident." Drawing in a deep breath, you contemplated your next steps. "I need to see about getting an assistant or an intern. It's time to have a discussion with work."

As if on cue, your phone began to ring, and Jake's name flashed on the screen. "Speaking of Jake," you remarked, pressing the answer button for a face call. "Hey babe!"

Chuck discreetly exited the kitchen, giving you space to talk to Jake.

Jake's voice came through, vibrant and warm. "Hey, darlin'!"

God, how you missed the sound of his voice. Heck, you missed everything about him.

He noticed your weariness. "You okay?"

"I'm fine. It's just been a long day. I literally just got home."

"Well, then I called at the right time. How are things?"

"Things are going well. I've been swamped, between the job and managing the grant, it's been non-stop."

"Darlin', make sure you're not overdoing it," he cautioned gently.

A smile found its way to your lips. "I won't, Jake. Don't worry about me."

His gaze carried a tinge of concern. "You sure you're alright?"

With a reassuring smile, you responded, "I'm fine, Jake, really. Like I mentioned, today was just one of those long days."

Seeing his expression ease brought you a bit of relief. "You'd tell me if something was up, wouldn't you?"

"Without a doubt." You took a brief pause before shifting the focus. "How about you? How have you been?"

"Doing well. There's been a lot of training going on."

"That sounds positive, doesn't it?"

His smile returned, warmer this time. "Always is." His gaze met yours, carrying a mix of longing and affection. "I miss you, Y/N."

The feeling resonated deeply within you. "I miss you too, Jake. Any idea when you'll be back?"

He hesitated, the uncertainty evident. "Not at this time."

You nodded. "Is there anything you need? I took care of your apartment, so you're good on that."

His voice carried a hint of regret. "Nah, I'm alright, but I really need to catch some sleep. Sorry for not calling sooner. This was the first chance I got."

Your words were soft but firm, "Jake, it's part of the job. I get it. Go catch some sleep. I'm heading to bed soon myself."

"That sounds like a plan. I love you, Y/N."

"I love you too, Jake."

After ending the call, Chuck re-entered the room.

"You didn't tell him, did you?"

Shaking your head, you responded, "No. He's got enough on his plate without adding to his worries. He needs to stay focused on his work." You met Chuck's gaze with determination. "And there's no arguing with that."

Chuck gave a nonchalant shrug, conceding to your point. "Whatever you say, Doc. You call the shots." Moving towards the stove, he changed the subject. "Got an appetite?"

"Starving!" you exclaimed, grateful for the distraction.

Chuck then busied himself with preparing a plate for you, signaling the end of the conversation and a shift to more comforting, domestic matters.

Tags: @buckysteveloki-me @bellyliveslife @tgmreader @callsign-barbell @86laura11 @dizzybee03 @kmc1989 @guacam011y @nerdgirljen @hookslove1592 @dempy @djs8891

[666writingcafe]

The Angel's Halo

Once MC and I give my brothers the medicine and supplies they need to get through the day, we decide to spend some time out of the house. After all, there's not much more we can do there at the moment that would be beneficial to my brothers.

"Do you want to grab a bite to eat?" MC asks as we begin walking.

"Good idea," I tell them. "Azzy was going on and on about this new cafe that's supposed to be opening today. He mentioned it's not too far from here."

"What's it called?" Normally, names don't really stick in my brain, but this particular one stood out to me so much that it's practically engraved on there.

"The Angel's Halo." MC snorts in amusement. "Yeah, that was kind of my reaction, too."

Here's the thing: I figured that someone from the Celestial Realm was gonna be following us close behind once we got settled here in the human world. I mean, from my understanding, MC was more or less blessed by Michael to wear Lucifer's old ring; he probably wants to make sure he made the right decision, which means keeping an eye on both them and us to make sure that they remain "pure" enough.

If he's smart, he would have sent Simeon. He's the one that would raise the least amount of suspicion. And I suppose the little chihuahua would have to tag along. It would be cruel for his owner to leave him behind.

Sure enough, as we approach the entrance to the new cafe, Luke's outside, twirling a sign around.

"I'm surprised he's able to do that," MC quietly observes. "He's never been the most coordinated."

"He probably needs a break," I reply. "Who knows how long he's been doing that trick." MC playfully glares at me before walking up to the young angel, who accidentally hits them in the face with the sign. I silently watch to make sure MC's alright, but once the two of them begin catching up with each other, I duck inside.

"Well, hello there, Mammon." Simeon looks up from wiping the counter. Despite the smile he gives me, I can tell something's off with him.

"It's Mason around here," I reply, sitting down on one of the stools in front of the counter. "And you're lucky I'm here. If Azzy came like he wanted to, he'd be freaking out about the bags under your eyes." Simeon gently throws the towel he was using over his shoulder.

"I haven't been able to get much sleep. Getting this place set up has been a lot more work than I had anticipated."

"Clearly." He's hiding something. I've never seen him look this exhausted, not even when we were living together in the Celestial Realm and he was still one of the Seraphim.

"I'm sure you're wondering why we're here." I shrug.

"I mean, Michael probably sent ya down here, right?" Simeon hums affirmatively.

"Officially, we've been appointed to help coordinate relations between the human world and the Celestial Realm." He's given me an opening. If he didn't want me to dig further, he wouldn't have said "officially".

"And unofficially?" He glances outside, presumably to make sure that MC and Luke are still preoccupied.

"He's testing me," he whispers.

"Testing you? For what? A promotion?" Simeon sighs, shaking his head.

"I've gotten into a bit of trouble. One of my notebooks was discovered." Okay...

"But you're a writer, right? Like, you've gotten permission to do that."

"Yes, and if that was what was found, nothing would have come of it, but this particular one was more of a personal journal. The contents inside are, shall we say, things that no angel ought to even be thinking about, let alone express into words."

"They shouldn't have been snooping in the first place."

"You forget, the Celestial Realm believes that nothing should be kept secret. Everything must eventually come to light." Simeon pauses. "Plus, I accidentally left it in a public space. The person who found it was merely trying to discover whose it was so that they could return it to its rightful owner."

"Dude, what exactly were you writing about in there?" He sighs again.

"In a word, corruption." Oh shit. Well, no wonder he's in trouble.

"Of yourself, or someone else?"

"Technically both, but I'm the active party."

"Please tell me it isn't Luke." Simeon widens his eyes.

"Absolutely not. He's merely a child. I wouldn't do that to him."

"Then who..." Right as I begin asking the question, I answer it for myself. "Oh, Simeon." He gives me a tired smile.

"I know." He glances outside once more. "Believe me, I've tried to keep these thoughts at bay, but I can't help it. I mean, how can someone's soul grow brighter after spending a significant amount of time with all seven Avatars of Sin? It makes no sense, Mam--Mason."

"And it upsets you, doesn't it?"

"It's more frustrating than upsetting. I know it's wrong, but there's a part of me that feels like..." He trails off, trying to regain his composure. "If I were to fall, I'd want to take them down with me." Oh my...I had no idea that MC made him feel that way.

"You're lucky that you're merely getting tested."

"Yes and no. This little test of his will determine the severity of my punishment. If I behave myself, then I simply have to be supervised when I'm writing. And do a few extra tasks, but that's not a big deal."

"And if you don't?"

"You mean, if I succumb to temptation?" I nod my head. I hear the door open. Simeon leans in close, trying to make sure that neither Luke or MC can hear him.

"Then I might as well not be an angel anymore."

[nian-7]

"How much do you truly love me?"

Hifumi Izanami x merperson!reader

✧kinda angsty but fluffy, cw: mentions of injury (you get smashed in the head with concrete...)

Storms usually were never a problem for you. Always just swimming through them and dodging all of the sudden trash that plummets into the ocean from the ships trying to tough out the storm above. Anchors sliding off from the ships, wood, supplies, you name it and it has most definitely fallen off during the harsh storms that this ocean brings.

Today, you'd rather swim to shore to wait out the harsh currents and what a mistake that turned out to be... As you were approaching land, an anchor of a ship sailing above you slid off the deck. Followed by panicked yelling from the sailors as their whole anchor went off the deck, they didn't realize the other kind of damage it caused. To you. The anchors sudden departure from the deck made for a rude awakening for you when it flew down right beside your arm, skidding against the skin as you jerked your arm away. The concrete block that was meant to keep the anchor on board soon flew down after.

Well, no matter! Even after passing out from... the impact, you still managed to wash up onto the shore by sunset. So that's good, right? Wrong. Although your vision is hazy, you can see a blonde human running towards you before your vision goes blank again.

...

It feels like only a moment later that you jerk awake again, your vision still blurry as it slowly adjusts again. The artificial florescent light beaming down as you awkward shifted in what seemed like a bathtub meant for a human. The whole place seemed as if it were for humans. Okay, stupid observation... Obviously it was made for humans if that blonde human had picked you up and brought you to his home. The tub you were in was uncomfortably small for you and it barely fit your scaly tail without having to hang it over the edge.

" Ah-! You're awake! I've got another bucket of seawater! " A blonde human walked into the room, struggling to hold a large bucket as he hobbled over to the tub and dumped the water in. " Phew! Is that enough for you? " He put down the bucket beside the tub and sat down next to it.

" Uh.. yeah, that's good, thanks? " Hesitantly thanking him, you sat up and pain shot through your back, causing you to jolt.

" Right... Doc said I've gotta make sure none of your bones broke, can I do that real quick? " You nodded, confused by this human helping you so randomly. He poked and prodded at your spine, apologizing whenever you hissed out in pain. " You can still move everything though, right? " He confirmed as he watched you test out your movement capabilities.

" Seems so... But-- "

" Phew! Then that means you probably just bruised your back! " He leaned back onto his hands as he sat on the tile floor, sighing in relief with a smile on his face. " Doc says-- "

" Enough about what 'doc' said! Why're you helping me so willingly?? " Your face turned into an expression of annoyance as you stared at his dumbfounded look.

" Hmmm... " He thought for a moment. " I don't really have a reason, just kinda did it, y'know? " He reached out a hand towards you. " Doc said to keep you here till you heal more so you can give me a shout if you need something! Just yell like 'Hifumi!!' and I'll come! "

" Got it..? " You looked at his outstretched hand and mimicked him, putting your hand out towards him as he suddenly grabbed it and shook your hand. You concluded it was some sort of human greeting... Guess you'll be hearing a lot more from him.

please do not repost any of my work without my permission, thank you for reading.

[witchofthesouls]

How would the DJD react to a lone carrier? Maybe the carrier is stuck on a another planet trying to negotiate with the local market for tickets or shanix to get home? Would they go feral or would they just only somewhat interested? What if the reason the carrier is stuck is because they got abandoned by their partner who is on The List and didn’t want to cross paths with the DJD so left them behind to save their own ass, that could be juicy…

(Tarn's dignity will always suffer with me, so he majorly fucks up because of regulations he inputted himself in the initial days of his gun-ho zeal to the Cause and Megatron's worldview.)

Camiens have a reputation for falling in love too fast and too hard, and like any blitzed and infatuated mechling swooning over their first love, you fell for the rugged outworlder. It was like a tale from a stupid romance holo, but instead of a deepening connection from constant hardship, you were left destitute on a planet that didn't need your expertise and a forge full of newsparks.

The mech was happy enough to frag you silly and more than content to have a ward manager to weld his wounds, but you warned the mech of your spark-lineage and its coding quirks and the mech still had the audacity to not only freak out at impending sirehood but to actually do a runner as well.

Apparently, death caught him before you could because the mech took all the damn credits and shanix with him.

Luckily the group that got Deadzone had a functioning ship to drop you off near Camnius at the low price of your ex-lover's T-cog.

And you delivered that T-cog, still warm and wet from his fritzing corpse into the leader's hand. Beautifully intact despite his smelted frame.

Nicket, their CMO, dragged you to her medbay before any of the mechs could do anything, and practically shoved the empty job posting into your nasal ridge while checking your progress.

"Let me get this straight," You rub your temples, trying to force the stress away when Nickel tells you the reason why she nor any of the other mechs can't help with your carriage. "Instead of being able to proposition any of the mecha here, I have to sleep with the one that finished off Deadzone?"

"Unfortunately true." The medic grouses as she wipes her servos with a rag and you close your panel. "Some idiot thought that the winners caring for the losers' mates in gladiatorial matches was romantic."

There's a story behind that and you're not sure if you want to find out. Instead, you focus on the important part. "And that idiot?"

"Tarn." Nickel says, flatly.

"And who got Deadzone?"

"Also Tarn."

You're stuck with the mech that has no idea what to do with you, so he defers to stiff, awkward politeness. Nickels notes your expression and offers full use of the medical supply closet to have a private meltdown inside of it.

Sometimes, being a ward manager does have its perks.

_______

Because Nickel memorized the schedules, you approach Tarn on his downtime and knock on his habsuite door to rip the patch off.

"Hello, Tarn, I'm here for donor services." You pray that Nickel had beaten into his head that carriers needed resources. Otherwise, his refusal will launch a rut-induced riot by your own activated heat-protocols.

The mech nods and steps into his habsuite and you follow the nonverbal permission.

"Would you like something to drink?" He asks, gesturing to a cabinet and a spare convertor.

"No, thank you." You're being awkwardly polite because Tarn is as well. Your sensory panels twitch, partly anxious, but mostly to check if there are hidden cameras in the room. You click your glossa, door wings twitch again, and it reads as clear.

You have no idea what kind of weird scrap he's into, but you didn't expect the tank to simply... lie down on his berth.

"Do what's necessary then." And he just lies there, staring into the ceiling as if it held the secrets to the galaxy.

Solus save your spark.

You take a deep inhale and exhale through your vents.

"Okay," you step forward and eye his pelvis. "I'm going to need you to open this-" you tap twice over the panel that covers the spike housing "-and pressurize. I need to know what I'm working with."

He follows your instructions to the glyph. And it's a very generous proportion to the mech, there are treads lining its sides, deep grooves underneath the shaft, and solidly purple with a fat node sitting beneath the crown.

It was also dry.

You reach for the extra lubricant bottle in your subspace and smear a hefty dollop across your palm and digits because you want to minimize friction burn since he's definitely the largest spike in your experience.

You grip it firmly, sliding up and down the underside as you thumb the tip, it weeps and it's a healthy bright pink hue with no detection of infection. You don't feel anything off with the texture that would have denoted hidden spines or a knot or an expansion mod. The plating does overlap to create subtle ribbing...

Your face may be impassive, but your valve eagerly wets itself in anticipation, it gnaws and you can feel the innermost calipers trying to set to their widest setting, and you blame the active carriage because you never had been so turned on by a silent handy on a mech that reads 'clean' to your diagnostic tools before.

You tell him that it's best that you ride him, and it's true. You don't voice that you're 99% percent sure he has no prior experience, but you did voice that Nickel would be displeased trying to repair valvular lining and mesh on a carrier with only one valve.

You straddle him, nudging him to your rim until it catches, so you hold him firm to sink down in slow increments. He's big. Your thighs strain with the painfully slow pace of sinking down, hitching up, and sinking down further to carefully pop the next rib into you that spreads you wider and wider until you feel like bursting from the fullness.

Tarn is not as unaffected as he projects, despite that air of neutrality you can feel the underlying hunger nipping at your field, see his digits claw into the berth, and feel that massive spike twitching hotly as you brush over sensors you didn't even know existed inside your frame. You keep your own spike shut with medical lockdowns because you have no idea if Tarn would tolerate that mess on him.

You finally meet his housing and it takes a good moment to acclimate, frame slick and already steaming from that effort. You set to slow grind, bracing on his chassis, biting your lower lip as that node slides over a cluster of nodes that sets your valve to spasm and ripple.

There's a familiar wetness at the back of your valve that makes your spinal struts shiver and sensory panels rapidly flick to disperse the sudden swell of charge.

"Did you just-" You strangle out the words because merciful Pits the mech is big, and heat bursts directly into your chamber putting you on edge.

Tarn, who hadn't uttered a single noise ever since you mounted him and still hasn't looked at you since lying down, then said, very quietly, "I'm sorry."

You're far away from home, fucking a beyond awkward stranger because of archaic bull-scrap of a rule since the mech that was nearly your Conjunx wasn't the person you thought he was.

Tears start to well in your optics and you blink rapidly to keep it away since Tarn actually makes contact with your face and gets a dipole-deer-in-the-headlights expression, even with the mask.

That stupid fucker was dead and you're still here seething over it.

Tarn had said, Do what's necessary. Well, this is damn well necessary.

You lift yourself off his spike and immediately turn around to face the door. Without a word, you seat yourself again by not-so-gently guiding him back into you. And it's easier this time, granted you ignore the jarring sensation between too much and please more.

You can deal with an awkward-as-the-Pits frag, but you will not tolerate that pity.

Because you're ridiculously wet and primed since carrier-coding is in an absolute tizzy over this spike, you viciously ride said spike at a brutal pace, clanging hard enough to leave bruises upon protoform, and ignoring the stretch in your valve, your vents practically wheeze with every drop that shoves Tarn to the back of your throat and leaves your insides quivering, unsure if it's from pleasure or overwhelmed by the sensation of taking a mech that's beyond your schematics.

Luckily it had an adjustment period, Tarn isn't thrusting upward, and nothing in your system is currently red-lining.

The tank doesn't say anything else, he doesn't even touch you. Instead, you hear something breaking in the room, but it isn't your frame and you can't bring yourself to care.

You keep the pace for the rest of the ordeal, annihilating your thoughts until it channels all of the urges to raise the dead back to life (just so you could personally gut Deadzone over and over) into getting the newsparks the transfluid they need. You can taste Energon in your mouth, bleeding down your intake, cooling fans roaring, and beneath the mad clanking, there's the audible noise of lubricant splattering out.

It's hard to say what burns harder, your frame and fuel lines or the hate boiling in your spark.

You keep it up even when your chamber bloats, heavy and hot, forcing your howling thighs and back through the onslaught, ozone thick with the Energon on your glossa as you speed and lose count of the overloads, and it isn't until Tarn's spike fully softens within your calipers' death grip do you finally stop.

And because you refuse to crash here in the mech's room, you don't pause to rest, you simply swing off of Tarn.

"Thank you and good night," you shout at the guy. Raging and hurt you may be, but you still have manners and Tarn did his duty to the damn regulations.

You hobble-stomp back to the med-bay, a wildfire as your spark, even as your pelvis throbs and joints scream to rest. Nickel takes one look at your face and immediately points to the supply closet. "I sent you the code."

You jam in the sequence and the moment the door shuts, you scream.

____________

:: Tarn, what did you do!? ::

:: Nothing. ::

:: I can tell. ::

[s-sturn]

𖥔 GET YOU!

part 1

summary: after so many months without contact, Chris and Y/N end up meeting again at a party, however, Chris is too upset, and ends up revealing all the truth to Y/N

warnings: little angst, drunk, crying, fluff, kissing, HAPPY ENDINGG!!

masterlist!

Y/N’s POV

It's been a long time since the last time I didn't leave my apartment.

I was decomposing, just existing without any reason to live.

My friends have been comforting me for all these months, and now they are convincing me to move on and live my life.

It would be difficult for me, even if so many months had passed, the breakup was still very recent for me, and I couldn't get over it at all.

I took a deep breath, arranging a black dress from my closet, extremely stylish, and soon I noticed the mess that was my room and my apartment in total, I tried to make a good arrangement in everything giving a much better appearance to the place, soon I take a relaxing and necessary shower, fixing my hair making small curls with the babyliss, I put on the dress and a black boot with a half high heel.

I leave my room seeing my friends waiting for me to go to the party, everyone praises me making me feel good about myself, I loved them for always being with me. It took us a few minutes and arrived at the place where the party would be, it was basically a celebration of the 1 million of a youtuber named Tara Yummy, these months I was totally off the Internet, so I didn't know her very well, but my friends were close to her and were invited to this party, and soon she said that they could take an escort, and here I am, in front of the door receiving some incredulous and nods looks from some influencers and youtubers that I knew on account of Chris.

I followed my friends until I bumped into someone, I come across in surprise seeing Nick, who lavashed a big smile when he saw me and soon brought me to a long hug, which made me surprised, I return the hug and soon Nick starts talking to me

━━━ Girl, I missed you like so fucking much! ━━━ He spoke happily, while I gave a kind smile, it was good to see Nick, after all, he was my best friend.

━━━ I missed you too, like fuck! ━━━ Our conversation flowed until I felt someone grabbing Nick and whining, it was Chris.

I was paralyzed the second I hit my eyes on him, I could already imagine that I would see him, but not this way.

I could be being very stupid right now, but I was getting worried about Chris' situation, he was really drunk.

The brunette begins to whine incomprehensible things as he started to cry, grabbing Nick and not even noticing my presence.

━━━ I need her back, Nick, everything I need it’s Y/N! ━━━ When I hear these words coming out of Chris' mouth, my expression is totally in shock, all these months in which I thought I was suffering alone, did Chris also suffer?

I was too confused, tears threatened to fall from my eyes, and Chris finally realizes my presence, starting to cry even more and babble things that I didn't understand because he was too drunk.

━━━ Please forgive me, Y/N, I love you! ━━━ The tears that threatened to fall finally spilled, staining my makeup done, I didn't believe what I heard, I waited months for the day Chris would come back to me, even though I thought it was impossible, I wanted him to come back, and he came back. ━━━ Forgive me for acting like a pussy, for being rude, for not grabbing you that morning and telling you how sorry I was and how much I loved and love you! Forget me, Y/N. ━━━ I approach Chris and lean our lips, giving a deep kiss full of love and regret.

Chris put his hands on my cheek and deepened our kiss asking for permission with his tongue, which was soon allowed, our lips moved in sync, as if they were made for each other.

I separated myself from our kiss, leaving our foreheads glued together.

━━━ I love you, Chris. ━━━ The effect of alcohol seems to have decreased and soon I go and slap Chris on the head repressing him. ━━━ Never do that again, do you understand, Sturniolo?

━━━ Yes, ma'! ━━━ We were in a deep eye contact just taking advantage of the moment. ━━━ I love you. ━━━ He said giving me a little kiss on the lips and staring at my face again while caressing my cheek.

Every time I look into your eyes i see it, you’re all I need.

That was cute, but I didn't like this one very much 😭😭😭😭

I’m sorry if there are spelling mistakes!

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