#but i miss the excitement and love and sense of community that used to exist in fandom

[weirdmarioenemies]

Name: Bagworm

Quote: Don't mind me, I'm just a little pine cone!

I love bagworms! Don't we all? Everyone's favorite silly bug living in a bag of silk and plant fibers! High defense, low speed, all that! I'm just going to ignore that my browser does not recognize "bagworm" as a word, and assume we all love them. Great! So we can move right along to the main topic here.

Name: Bragworm

Quote: Why camouflage when I can DAZZLE?

As you progress through the story and level up, you'll sadly leave our beloved bagworms behind (don't worry! You can always return to earlier areas to visit them!) as stronger creatures take their place. All sorts of creatures, with all sorts of abilities and attack patterns to be aware of, but the most exciting part is always seeing the new creature designs!

However, making so many unique designs is hard. Maybe due to whatever circumstances, it's just more practical to recolor or retexture existing assets, give them new stats, and declare them new creatures. That can be disappointing, but sometimes it's done in a way where you can't help but love it! That's how I feel about Bragworm!

First off, I think a bagworm is a perfect creature to recolor, since real ones will decorate themselves with different things anyway, and the foliage they use does change color with time. With Bragworm here, it can even represent different materials altogether, and that even ties into its personality!

Bragworm is the opposite of an ordinary bagworm. Instead of trying to hide itself, it coats its case in only the brightest, shiniest materials it can find, because it loves to show off! A bit disappointing that the new materials are just a pink recolor of the original bagworm's leaf bits, but it does communicate the "glam" aspect well, so whatever.

Whereas the basic Bagworm was sort of your tutorial to "hidden" encounters, blending into scenery and causing a surprise encounter, it's impossible to miss Bragworm, and that's just as well. It's in character, and at this point, with all your experience, you wouldn't fall for its tricks, anyway!

Bragworm is an iconic creature, beloved and memed by fans as an especially tough foe that yields a mountain of experience points, and drops items that can be sold for quite a lot of money. My favorite aspect, though, is that their rarity makes complete sense. A nearby NPC studying them confirms that Bragworms' gaudy outfits make them pathetically easy targets to predators, and that the population is likely to go extinct. The price they pay for fashion...

Oh, and you just know the localizers must have been really proud of themselves when they came up with that name! I kind of wish I thought of it.

[ludolka]

Hi angsty Joel person again! Per my last ask- Grian spends his nights awake. He fakes sleep, sure, stares at the ceiling or tosses and turns. His teammates always sense somethings up, but it's best not to ask. They don't know how to smooth out his feathers. They don't know how to curb his chaotic excitement. Joel does. But, he isn't with Joel, is he? Not right now anyway. Some nights, he feels a weird acid raising in his chest when he listens to Joel talk about anything and everything. Jealousy perhaps? Jealousy that he's not there, responding. Maybe it's jealousy that Joel can talk to him, but he can't respond. Again, nobody would get it. Why would you be jealous about that, Grian? Just go talk to him, Grian. But Joel's got a new alliance (relationship, thinly veiled). So Grian shakes his head, grits his teeth, and smiles. He'll help build bases, make traps that rarely work. He jokes and laughs. Even when he's in another plane, another existence, that familiar acid settles in his chest. How is it *fair* that everyone else gets their one, that Joel gets to just .. make new alliances? Aren't they "perfect" for eachother? Aren't they complementary? But, of course, their relationship would cause a heat-death burning brighter then a sun, and swallowing them into a depth darker then a black hole. ;)

Ohoho, hello again, I love this so much !! Yess, we get Grian’s side too 👀 I’m also absolutely losing my mind over “their relationship would cause a heat-death burning brighter then a sun, and swallowing them into a depth darker then a black hole”, this is going to live rent free in my mind for weeks

Of course Grian misses Joel as well, no matter what he might show the world. It’s mutual, they have always mirrored each other after all, no matter whether they are together or they haven’t seen each other in months. Some might think it’s creepy how connected they are, others have gotten used to it

And of course Grian’s teammates notice how he gets more snappy as time goes on. Sure, he can just explain he’s sleeping less and getting more tense because things are heating up, more is at steak, he has to stay alert at all times to watch his back. But they know that’s not all and he knows they know he’s hiding something. No one asks though, Grian is especially good at keeping everyone at an arm’s length while remaining friendly and answering questions in a way that leaves everyone more confused than before

His wings get messier as time goes on as well, he tried in the beginning to let others preen him, but it wasn’t the same. They didn’t have the same technique and routine with it. So he got frustrated and gave up trying to get them in order. Even with those who know how to properly preen wings for various reasons, it’s just not the same and it left him feeling empty and dissatisfied

And Grian is jealous. He isn’t sure what he’s jealous of exactly, but he at least recognizes the feeling. He is sure Joel’s newest alliance isn’t going to last, non of them do. Joel tends to get easily bored or he gets too intense and toxic for whoever he’s with. Joel is also awful at communicating, he just expects others to read his mind. He is also oh so physical and there’s a very thin line between love and hate for him that most people either don’t understand or can’t stand for long. They don’t understand Joel’s purest expression of love is through violence. It can get confusing after all, Joel is mixed messages personified. Joel is a difficult person to be around and close to for an extended period of time, but so is Grian. Maybe that’s why they work together and understand each other so well. Their personal blend of insanity complements the other’s, they both crave this level of intensity

Besides, he hears Joel rant and ramble about everything and anything on a nearly nightly basis. He knows about the issues in his alliance. He knows Joel well enough to read between the lines, to know when the end’s coming and which side will end it

But he can’t complain too much about how they aren’t together or can’t properly have a conversation. If he did everyone would tell him to just go and talk to Joel. They don’t understand. And besides, it’s not like Joel got the longer end of the stick, he can’t hear Grian or even know for sure that Grian’s listening. But Grian hopes he knows

And Grian knows he’s absolutely unfair for feeling this way, but he holds resentment towards Joel’s newest ally/allies and Joel himself as well. He knows he’s unreasonable for wanting Joel all to himself and for feeling betrayed that Joel would find someone new. It’s not like he’s the definition of loyalty, he himself always has new alliances. It just bothers him that Joel does too

And when they meet and ally again, because they always do at some point, they lunge at each other like wild animals and fight until one of them dies or collapses from fatigue. And they attack each other with such aggression and such an insane glint in their eyes, if people didn’t know them already, they’d think the two genuinely hated each other. But that night they get the best sleep they’ve had in months, clinging to each other and in the morning Joel properly preens Grian. They also never talk about Joel’s late night one-sided conversations or the scattered feathers in Joel’s bed that logically shouldn’t be there or the state Grian’s wings were in

And no one mentions how whenever either of them are seen afterwards Grian’s wings are in perfect condition or how there are sometimes black and brown feathers in Joel’s hair or sticking out from his bag or pockets

[asklilmissrarity]

The Future of Lil Miss Rarity

Hello everyone, this is Jay Tonique (formerly known as Lil Miss Jay), the writer, artist, everything other than the music in the Lil Miss Rarity animation for the blog "Lil Miss Rarity."

As some of you know, Lil Miss Rarity was an ongoing outlet for my physical, verbal and emotional abuse I was suffering prior to and leading up to Lil Miss Rarity's release, October 11th 2011.

The blog took off so heavily that my entire artistic career became a viable future for me, allowing me to profit from my art, build a huge loving fanbase, and even allowing me to become something of a celebrity in the Brony community (even very much hated by a large portion of the community).

It's needless for me to say that Lil Miss Rarity not only changed but saved my life. I was on the verge of taking my own life around the time the blog was started, due to the abuse I was going through, and if it weren't for the success of the blog that fateful October week, I would certainly not be here, typing this right now. I owe my life to you all, and the support you've given me for this blog.

However, it's time for the news I know very few people want to hear. In fact, I'm sure just reading this line right here has people's hearts sinking, but please, don't be anxious, please read the full post.

I would like to say: Please read the full post, I am going to be very clear about the future.

Moving forward, Lil Miss Rarity will no longer be updated, and the blog is officially entirely over, as of this post.

I am still looking for a musician to commission a new song for the remake of the Lil Miss Rarity animation on YouTube, which will be my final major update involving the blog, and then I will be putting the blog entirely to rest. The animation will serve as a fond emotional farewell to Lil Miss Rarity.

However, that's not the end of the twisted grimdark storytelling. I have decided to make a spiritual successor, a new IP, entirely my own and not using My Little Pony as a crutch.

I won't get too into it, but I left the Brony fandom long ago. It was both the greatest thing to ever happen in my life, and the absolute worst thing to ever happen in my life. I met great friends, but also met unbelievably horrible sick people, many of which I literally got FBI involvement to deal with and many of which are literally in prison now.

Due to this, and many many more reasons I'm leaving out, I cannot and will not continue to be a part of the fandom. This is just a few reasons, as well, that continuing to have Lil Miss Rarity exist as a My Little Pony blog just doesn't make any sense to me.

So what am I doing moving forward?

A brand new IP called "Melodi." It's about a magic school student who is part of a wealthy family who goes on a magical twisted adventure in a horrifying grimdark world.

It will have characters either very slightly or very heavily inspired by the characters of Lil Miss Rarity, with Melodi of course being inspired by Rarity.

It will also be an ongoing web comic, similar to LMR, and will encourage fan feedback just as much as LMR did, but will not be an Ask Blog like LMR.

I plan to release character concepts for the cast of Melodi soon.

Now, there's probably a lot of questions moving forward, so I'll try to answer them now, as well as in asks on this blog, though I'd prefer you send the asks about Melodi to my main blog at http://www.jayisbutts.com/ask

Here's some questions I think will be asked, and I'll answer them here:

"Will this blog be on Tumblr?" - Yes, and on Patreon. Each update will be on Patreon first. When an update comes out on Patreon, the previous update will go public at the same time on Tumblr.

"Don't you think the LMR fanbase you've garnered for 12 years are gonna be upset about this?" - I'm 100% certain they will be, yes. However, I hope that most people who hear this news are excited to see Melodi in the future. I'm very proud of what I've created with LMR, and happy about how many lives I've changed and how many people have told me how much they love LMR. People with the heart-brand tattoo, people with LMR tattoos, people who cosplay as LMR, LMR fanart still being made regularly to this date, real-life Opal dolls, fan-dubs of the comic, fan animations, Anime Music Videos, etc etc etc. I love each and every one of you and I hope that I can one day garner the same amount of love for Melodi as I received for LMR. Thank you all so much for your support.

"What if someone else wants to carry on the LMR blog or use the characters to make their own?" - Please, do. LMR is officially Public Domain as of this post, and I strongly encourage LMR fan-fiction, fan-blogs, etc. I would love if someone could do LMR better than I did. I will very happily use this blog going forward to showcase new LMR blogs and fan-content that I like, and I will very gladly be a guest artist from time to time on an update or two to those blogs. You all have my blessing to take LMR and do with her whatever you want.

"Are you still remaking the LMR animation?" - Yes, I'm still actively seeking a musician to make an official LMR theme that will play in the background of it. It will be a glorious farewell to LMR.

"Is the heart-brand still a thing in Melodi?" - Absolutely, yes. The one incredibly major staple being carried over to Melodi is the heart brand. That symbol has become synonymous with LMR.

"What about the eye scars?" - Probably not. There will be facial scarring of some kind, yes, but considering the new story will not involve killing a cat (not yet anyway), she probably won't have the eye scars.

"Black eye with white pupil?" - We'll see! (It is a sign of Malice's corruption to have a black left eye, so almost certainly yes, but we'll see!)

"Ponies? Humans? Furries?" - I haven't fully decided. In my head, Melodi is a human, but I could also see her being a cat. I'm not sure what I wanna do just yet. However, she will not be a pony. She's gonna be far more human shaped. With boobies.

"Is this one gonna have porn?" - Nope! Not directly as part of the blog, no. Sexual encounters are going to happen in a very fade-to-black way, or a cropped-off-screen sort of way, yes. And there will be sexy characters, like monster girls or demon girls, and I'm sure people will find Melodi herself sexy, too. However, the blog is not going to contain actual porn. No full nudity. It will have what some would refer to as "fetish content," as with LMR, but it's not porn.

"Final question, so... LMR is just... dead? As of now?" - In terms of receiving updates from me, all that will be made is the LMR animation. But no, I certainly hope LMR is not dead. I would love to see the blog live on through other artists I've inspired. You all have my blessing to keep her alive forever.

Thank you all so much for your support.

More news involving Melodi and her twisted adventures coming soon.

I love you all, and I want you all to know how much your support of Lil Miss Rarity has changed my life.

I know it's cringe to type this, but, "I'm literally crying right now."

Mommy will always be pretty.

~Jay Tonique (Formerly Lil Miss Jay)

[nayziiz]

No Way | LN4

Summary: Lando Norris, an F1 driver for McLaren Racing, faces persistent attention on his single status. In an attempt to appease fans and quell rumours, his management suggests a fake relationship with a popular Portuguese model. However, Lando's PR manager, Natalie, disagrees, believing fans would see through the ploy. As an alternative, Lando's management notices the genuine bond between him and Natalie and proposes they feign a relationship for authenticity. Initially hesitant, they agree, given their existing friendship and professional connection. The fake relationship takes an unexpected turn as Lando and Natalie grapple with burgeoning real feelings, attempting unsuccessfully to conceal their growing emotions.

Pairing: Lando Norris x Original Character (Natalie)

Warnings: Mentions of physical and emotional abuse; SA; fluff; crash

Masterlist

CHAPTER 9

As Lando prepares for his first race back in the car since the accident, the atmosphere is charged with anticipation and excitement. The British Grand Prix, his home race, adds an extra layer of significance to the occasion. The energy in the air is palpable as the fans, eager to witness their local hero back on the track, fill the grandstands with cheers and banners.

Lando's determination is a beacon, shining brighter than ever. The challenges and uncertainties that followed the accident have only fueled his resilience. The sight of his McLaren gleaming on the grid ignites a fire within him, a renewed sense of purpose that transcends the ordinary pursuit of victory.

The moments before the race are a flurry of activity. The team works meticulously to ensure the car is in optimal condition, every detail scrutinised to maximise performance. Lando, surrounded by the familiar faces of his dedicated crew, shares nods and words of encouragement. The camaraderie is evident as everyone rallies behind their driver, each person in the McLaren garage contributing to the collective aspiration of victory.

“Welcome back, Lando. You gave us quite the scare back in Monaco, but we’re pleased to see you back and smiling. How are you doing?”The interviewer asks.

“I’m feeling great. My body’s healed up nicely. I’m very thankful to everyone who played a part in my recovery, it’s not every day that something like that happens, but everyone did their best and I appreciate that.” Lando comments, his gratitude evident in his voice and smile.

“What’s your headspace like heading into your home race this weekend?” The interviewer continues.

“It’s a positive headspace. I kind of try to forget about the last few weeks, it was beyond anyone’s control, so heading into this week, it’s pretty much back to normal. I love racing on this track, and it’s home, so that helps.” Lando concludes before returning to the McLaren garage.

Upon Lando's return to the garage, a sense of normalcy returns as he seamlessly transitions into the routine of a race weekend. Without missing a beat, he joins Natalie, and together they delve into the intricacies of his race weekend schedule. The professional camaraderie takes precedence, temporarily overshadowing the nuances of their romantic relationship within the confines of the work environment.

In the controlled chaos of the garage, surrounded by the hum of machinery and the focused energy of the McLaren team, Lando and Natalie synchronise their efforts. Their interactions are marked by efficiency, communication, and a shared commitment to the tasks at hand. The dynamics between them shift seamlessly from the personal to the professional, a testament to their ability to compartmentalise and navigate the complexities of their dual roles.

“Lando.” Adam's voice rings out from behind him and Natalie as they sieve through his social media content for the race weekend. “I need to chat with you.”

Lando, sensing the urgency in his father's tone, follows him to his driver's room. As they enter, Adam shuts the door, creating a private space where their conversation can unfold without the prying ears of the bustling garage.

“What's wrong?” Lando immediately asks, sensing the gravity in his father's tone.

“We've finally found him.” Adam informs his son, the weight of the revelation evident in his expression.

“Who? What are you talking about?” Lando questions, his confusion etched across his face. In response, Adam pulls out his phone, showing Lando a photo of a man in a club.

"Is this him?" Lando asks, scrutinising the image on the phone.

The air in the room becomes charged with anticipation as the pieces of an undisclosed puzzle start to fall into place. The photograph holds a significance that raises more questions than answers, setting the stage for a revelation that could potentially reshape the course of their conversation.

“It seems like the barman spiked her soda at the club that night. She had one drink from what I could tell, and he was the one who handed it to her. She kept her drink covered the entire time, so the only time someone had access to spiking it was before she received it.” Adam explains, referencing the night in Shanghai when Natalie was drugged and assaulted.

The room tightens with tension as the implications of Adam's discovery sink in.

“But, why? He doesn't know her, does he?” Lando continues to prod, seeking to understand the motive behind such a malicious act.

“I had a friend of a friend go by the club and speak to him. And, you'll never believe what we found.” Adam explains, swiping to reveal a photo of Lucas, Natalie's ex-boyfriend.

“No way," Lando seethes, his disbelief and anger evident.

The revelation hits close to home, and the betrayal is twofold—first by the barman, and now by someone Natalie once trusted intimately. The shock and frustration emanating from Lando reflect the emotional turmoil of discovering that someone from Natalie's past could be involved in such a reprehensible act.

“He came in the day before, apparently he knew where she would be going, paid the barman a hefty amount to spike her drink. We suspect he has some hidden app on her phone so he can see exactly what she’s doing, when, and with whom. I’ll need to get her phone cleaned. Lando, Lucas was there that night in the club. I also got a different camera angle from the opposite side of the club and it clearly shows him watching her, approaching her, and then dancing up behind her. She spins around and immediately hurries away, likely to the bathroom where she called you from. There weren’t any cameras there for us to see if he followed her again, but he just disappeared.” Adam details.

The revelation unfolds with a chilling precision, exposing the orchestrated cruelty behind Natalie's assault. The calculated actions of Lucas, manipulating the situation and exploiting intimate knowledge of Natalie's whereabouts, paint a disturbing picture of betrayal and malice.

“He's insane. He's literally insane. He claimed to love her. Who does that to someone they supposedly love?” Lando argues, his anger palpable, a storm brewing within him that his father has never witnessed before.

“Son, it gets worse.” Adam adds gravely. “He has a paddock pass this weekend.”

“No fucking way.” Lando grunts, the shock and disbelief evident in his voice.

The sanctuary of the racing world, meant for competition, suddenly feels tainted by the presence of an ominous figure from Natalie's past.

“We'll do what we can to protect her, but she's bound to run into him at some point.” Adam replies, acknowledging the imminent threat that hovers over Natalie's safety.

“Please, Dad, don't tell her. I don't want her stressing about this, with everything the last few weeks, she's had enough to deal with as is.” Lando urges his father, his concern for Natalie's well-being overriding any desire for immediate confrontation.

“Of course.” Adam agrees. “But, we'll have to think of a way to keep her safe. If he can drug her that easily, who knows what he can do here. She's by herself most of the time.”

“I'll think of something.” Lando mumbles before a knock on the door interrupts them, signalling an intrusion into the private space where they grapple with the unsettling reality that has unfolded.

The impending challenge of ensuring Natalie's safety in the paddock adds a layer of complexity to an already emotionally charged race weekend.

"Sorry, I hate to bother. Lando, we need to finalise your content, please," Natalie sheepishly explains her intrusion as she pops her head into the room.

The transition from the weighty conversation to the demands of the race weekend is abrupt, but Natalie's professional demeanour glosses over any traces of the private matters being discussed behind closed doors. The racing world, with its relentless pace, demands a swift return to the immediate tasks at hand, and Natalie, aware of the intricacies involved, seamlessly switches gears. Lando, while grappling with the recent revelations, acknowledges the necessity to refocus on the upcoming race.

“Of course, let me be out of your hair.” Adam quickly excuses himself, sensing the need for privacy between Lando and Natalie.

“Everything OK?” She asks Lando, her concern evident in her gaze.

“Yeah, all good.” Lando lies, attempting to shield her from the weight of the recent revelations. However, the internal conflict is palpable, and he hesitates before admitting, “Actually, no.”

“What do you mean?” She asks, her confusion deepening as she senses a shift in the atmosphere of the room. The veneer of normalcy cracks, revealing a layer of unspoken tension that lingers between them. Natalie, attuned to Lando's emotions, waits for him to unravel the truth.

“I may or may not have tracked down the guy who drugged and assaulted you in China, with my Dad’s help, of course.” Lando admits.

“You did what?” Natalie exclaims, her surprise and shock evident. “Why would you do that?”

“I needed to know who it was, Nattie. He could have really hurt you.” Lando explains, his concern for Natalie evident in his words.

“So, who is he?” Natalie quickly asks, seeking an answer. The urgency in her voice reflects the immediate need to understand the identity of the person responsible for the traumatic incident in Shanghai.

“I don’t have a name.” He lies. “I just know that he’s been spotted in the UK in the last few days.”

“This is actually crazy right now.” She breathes, her heart racing.

The revelation adds another layer of complexity to the situation, leaving Natalie in a state of uncertainty and unease. The lack of a definitive name amplifies the mystery surrounding the person who orchestrated the assault, and the proximity of the threat raises the stakes for both of them.

“Please, Nattie, I’m asking you nicely, please do not do anything by yourself this weekend, even in the paddock.” Lando begs her.

“You don’t think he’ll be in the paddock.” She shakes her head in denial.

“I don’t know, but I cannot risk you getting hurt.” Lando tells her as he pulls her closer to him. “Please promise me you’ll have someone from the team with you at all times, just for this weekend while we figure out what to do about him.”

“Why did you do this?” She quips, her brain digesting the fact that he had purposely sought her assailant.

“I can’t let someone get away with hurting you.” He half explains.

“Yeah, sure, but that’s a lot of effort.” She shyly responds.

“I told you I can’t lose you. Hand-in-hand with that goes a promise to protect you, to the best of my ability. Let me do that. Let me protect you and keep you safe.” He finally admits. “No matter the amount of effort, or the time, or the distance - I will do what I can to keep you safe.”

The vulnerability in Lando's plea cuts through the complex emotions of the moment. The admission of his commitment to her safety, despite the challenges and uncertainties, unveils a depth of care that transcends the boundaries of their public personas. In this intimate moment, their connection strengthens, grounded in a shared understanding of the need for protection and support.

The weight of his words hangs in the air, a testament to the sincerity and depth of Lando's feelings. The realisation that he went to such lengths, confronting a potentially dangerous individual, solely to ensure her safety, leaves Natalie with a mix of emotions—gratitude, awe, and a growing awareness of the depth of their connection.

In the midst of the chaos surrounding them, Lando's unwavering commitment to her well-being becomes a beacon of support. The paddock, usually filled with the noise of race preparations, momentarily fades into the background as the significance of their shared moment takes centre stage.

“I feel like I should write that down.” He jokes.

“Why, so I can read it when I don’t believe you?” Natalie jokes back.

“No, so I can use it in my vows one day.” He responds, causing her to smack his arm.

The banter lightens the atmosphere, injecting a moment of humour into the seriousness of their conversation

“Please, just have someone with you this weekend, especially when I’m not by your side.” He reiterates.

“I promise.” She finally agrees as she hugs him tightly.

In the midst of the racing world's intensity, their love story unfolds, marked by the unconventional backdrop of pit stops, podiums, and paddocks. Lando, with his passion for speed and the vibrant papaya colours associated with McLaren, becomes the unexpected protagonist in the romance she never saw coming. His gestures of care, protection, and understanding create a narrative that transcends the confines of a typical love story.

As the engines roar on the racetrack, so too does the beating of her heart for the man who not only races with fervour but also loves with a depth that surpasses the confines of the fast-paced world they inhabit.

- LATER THAT DAY DURING THE RACE -

A missed call from her mom causes panic to hit Natalie in the middle of the race. She knows her mom wouldn't call her at work unless it was an absolute emergency. She rushes out of the garage, leaving behind the sounds of roaring engines and the intensity of the race. The paddock, filled with people moving up and down past the garages, becomes a maze of anxious anticipation as she presses the phone to her ear.

“Hi, Mamma. You were looking for me?” Natalie speaks into her phone, a sigh of relief escaping her lips.

“Sorry, my love, it was an accident. I wanted to message you and ended up calling you instead.” Her mom sweetly explains.

“That’s OK. I just thought-” Her sentence is cut short when she spots a familiar face further down the paddock.

“Honey, are you there?” Her mom asks.

“I’m here. I have to go, though. I’ll call you after the race, OK?” Natalie quickly speaks before hanging up.

With all the people around, she had drifted a distance away from the entrance to the McLaren paddock. The paddock, a buzzing hive of activity with team members, journalists, and fans, proved to be a labyrinth of twists and turns. In the midst of the race excitement, Natalie had momentarily strayed from the familiar path, drawn by the urgency of the call from her mom.

As she hangs up the phone and takes a quick scan of her surroundings, a sense of disorientation kicks in. Racing against time to retrace her steps, she turns to see where Lucas might be but couldn't spot him amid the crowd. Panic sets in, and her steps quicken as she rushes back towards the garage. The familiar sights and sounds of the paddock become a blur as she navigates the human maze, desperate to reach the safety of the familiar McLaren territory.

Frantic and without anyone by her side, as Lando had pleaded with her, Natalie finds herself caught in a moment of vulnerability. The realisation dawns upon her—Lando knew it had been Lucas and deliberately withheld the information. The protective instinct in Lando's actions becomes clear. He chose not to disclose the identity of the person who had caused her distress, perhaps to shield her from the heightened anxiety that such knowledge might induce.

In the midst of the racing world's chaos, Natalie grapples with the conflicting emotions of gratitude for Lando's protective gesture and the realisation that there are elements of her past that still hold the power to disrupt her present. As she hurries back to the garage, the intensity of the race is momentarily eclipsed by the personal turmoil unravelling in the paddock.

- AFTER THE RACE -

“Where’s Natalie?” Lando yells as he celebrates with his team on a P2 finish in the British GP.

“No idea.” Zak yells back as the crowd keeps growing louder.

The jubilation of the race result echoes through the paddock, but Lando's elation is tinged with concern for Natalie's whereabouts. Amidst the cheers and the team's celebratory atmosphere, her absence becomes a noticeable void.

The thrill of the podium finish momentarily takes a back seat to Lando's growing unease. The question about Natalie's location hangs in the air, creating a pause in the celebratory chaos.

Lando breaks free from the crew as he rushes into the garage.

“Where’s she?” He asks his father, but doesn’t wait for a response, he just keeps running. “Nattie!”

His voice echoes through the garage, filled with urgency and worry. The celebration around him fades into the background as he searches for the one person who matters most to him. The pit lane becomes a blur as Lando races towards a truth he needs to uncover, his mind echoing with the possibility that something might have gone wrong.

Natalie is locked in Lando's driver's room, hidden beneath the massage table, when she hears Lando's voice screaming her name. The sound reverberates through the room, heightening the tension in the air. As his calls pierce through the silence, the door rattles from his attempts to gain access, his hands banging on the door, urgently pleading for her to open it.

In the confined space beneath the massage table, Natalie can feel her heartbeat syncing with the frantic rhythm of Lando's cries. The fear of being discovered intensifies with each passing second. The room becomes a sanctuary of isolation, echoing with the outside world's chaos and the desperate plea of someone searching for her.

Unable to endure the mounting pressure, Natalie decides to end the charade. She gets up, her hands trembling as she unlocks the door. The door swings open, revealing a breathless Lando on the other side. His eyes scan the room, settling on her panicked expression and shaky hands. The relief on his face is palpable as he steps inside, shutting the door behind him, creating a momentary bubble of privacy in the midst of the paddock's tumult.

“It's Lucas... isn't it?” She manages to speak, her voice laden with fear and vulnerability. “He was in the paddock earlier, and then he was just gone. Please tell me it isn't Lucas.”

The revelation of Lucas's presence and the implications weigh heavily on the air. Natalie's tears stream down her face, dampening the fabric of Lando's fireproof suite as she seeks solace in his arms.

“I'm sorry, love.” Lando breathes as he pulls her against him, offering a comforting embrace. 

“Why would he do something like that?” She cries into his chest, the pain and confusion evident in her voice.

The question lingers, an unspoken plea for answers to a situation that strikes at the heart of trust and security. The weight of the revelation, the emotions swirling in the air, leaves him momentarily speechless. Sometimes, there are no words that can adequately capture the complexity of the situation, especially when faced with the shocking reappearance of someone from Natalie's past.

In the silence that follows, Lando tightens his embrace, offering a silent reassurance that transcends verbal communication. His presence, a steadying force in the midst of turmoil, becomes a tangible anchor for Natalie as they navigate the uncertainty together. Sometimes, the absence of words speaks volumes, acknowledging the depth of the emotional turmoil and the unspoken commitment to face whatever challenges lie ahead, hand in hand.

After calming Natalie down, Lando continues to debrief with the media and the team, leaving her in the care of his father. As they get ready to leave the paddock, Lando wraps his arm around Natalie, keeping her tight against him. The physical closeness serves as both a shield and a source of comfort, a silent affirmation of their connection and Lando's commitment to providing her with a sense of security.

Strolling down the paddock in silence, the night has settled, and the once-bustling atmosphere has dwindled. Very few people still wander around, allowing the couple a moment of respite amid the shadows of the paddock. Adam, Lando's father, had departed earlier to arrange additional security for both Lando and Natalie. He had pulled some strings to ensure a heightened police presence outside the track premises, further fortifying their protection.

In the quiet of the night, with the paddock lights casting a gentle glow, Lando and Natalie navigate the aftermath of the unsettling revelation, finding solace in each other's presence and the unspoken assurance of shared strength. The night air carries a mixture of tension and determination as they make their way through the paddock.

“I always thought you two would make a good-looking couple.” Lucas' voice echoes as he emerges from the shadows, stopping Lando and Natalie in their tracks. The sudden appearance sends a shiver down their spines, the past converging with the present in an unexpected and unsettling confrontation.

Lando instinctively tightens his grip around Natalie, a protective stance against the intrusion. The paddock, once a place of celebration and victory, transforms into an eerie backdrop for a confrontation that neither of them anticipated. The ambient glow of the paddock lights casts long shadows, accentuating the tension in the air.

Natalie's gaze narrows, a mixture of fear and defiance in her eyes as she confronts the figure from her past.

“There’s no use in hiding her. She’s always been a scared little girl.” Lucas continues, his words slicing through the air with a cruel edge. The tension in the paddock becomes palpable as he attempts to exert control through intimidation.

“You don’t want to do this, mate.” Lando warns him, a firmness in his tone. The protective instinct in Lando intensifies, his posture reflecting a readiness to shield Natalie from any harm.

“Oh, but I do. Because I vividly remember you staring at her, pining after her, pretty much frothing at the mouth when she was around you. Now you have her, but is she really as great as you hoped she would be?” Lucas asks. “Have you not realised that there’s nothing special about her?”

Lucas' words are laced with bitterness and resentment. His attempt to undermine their relationship becomes evident, a calculated effort to sow doubt and discord. Lando's jaw clenches, and his gaze narrows as he absorbs the verbal assault. He remains steadfast, standing beside Natalie with an unwavering determination to protect her from the venomous words.

“I think you need to leave.” Lando continues to warn him, his voice firm and resolute.

The air becomes charged with tension as Lucas takes a step closer to the couple, his actions pushing the boundaries of confrontation. Natalie, feeling the threat escalate, clutches Lando's arm, attempting to pull him back from the brewing conflict.

“And, you. You naughty little whore. Did you really think I was stupid? You got so turned on whenever he smiled at you. I should have known when you suddenly started wearing shorter skirts when you knew he’d be around.” Lucas continues, his words cutting through the air with a venomous tone.

The accusatory remarks aim to demean and shame, further escalating the tension in the paddock. Natalie, stung by the degrading comments, feels a surge of anger and humiliation. She tightens her grip on Lando's arm, seeking solace and strength from his unwavering presence.

“That’s enough. You do not get to speak to her.” Lando barks, his voice carrying a stern and protective edge.

The line has been crossed, and Lando, unwilling to tolerate any further disrespect towards Natalie, asserts himself in the face of Lucas's venomous words.

“Did she tell you she packed all her shit and disappeared in the middle of the night? That she didn’t even have the audacity to leave me in person, she left a note on the kitchen counter.” Lucas adds, his bitterness evident in every word. “She left me without any warning.”

Natalie, caught off guard by the airing of their past, feels a mixture of emotions. Lando, however, remains resolute, refusing to let the past dictate the present. He wraps a protective arm around Natalie, silently conveying his support and determination to shield her from the ghosts of her past relationship.

“I don’t blame her.” Lando counters. “You drugged her and assaulted her, and we have proof.”

The revelation of Lucas's heinous actions shifts the power dynamics of the confrontation. Lando, steadfast in his defence of Natalie, draws a line in the sand, exposing Lucas's true nature.

“I did not assault her.” Lucas argues. “She was drunk and having a good time. Who would have thought she’d be grinding her ass up against me that night and not you?”

His attempt to twist the narrative adds a layer of manipulation to the already charged atmosphere. Lando's jaw clenches once more, his grip on Natalie tightening as he struggles to contain his anger.

“Mate, take one more step and it’s over for you. Did you honestly think you could come into this paddock after what you did in Shanghai and intimidate us? I have people all over this paddock watching us right now. I have video evidence being sent to the police where you’re paying a barman to drug a girl’s drink with the intention of physically harming her. You do not get to scare her any more. You do not get to look her in the face and cause her any more trauma. Do you understand me? You’re going to walk out of here and never look back.” Lando barks with a resolute authority, his words cutting through the tension-laden air. “Leave. Now.”

Lucas, realising the gravity of the situation, begins to retreat hastily. The collective eyes of the paddock, now aware of the unfolding drama, follow his every step. The atmosphere is charged with a mix of tension and anticipation as security guards shadow Lucas's exit.

“Get the fuck out of here.” Lando repeats, his voice cutting through the commotion.

The authority in his tone demands compliance, and Lucas, with a resentful glance back, continues his retreat, disappearing into the shadows of the paddock. As the tension gradually dissipates, Natalie looks up at Lando, a mixture of relief and gratitude in her eyes.

The distant wailing of police sirens grows louder, signalling the swift response to the emergency call. Within moments, uniformed officers arrive on the scene, taking control of the situation. Adam provides the evidence they gathered, including footage of Lucas orchestrating the drugging at the club in Shanghai.

Lucas, now surrounded by law enforcement, is met with stern faces and handcuffs. The seriousness of his actions sinks in as the officers read him his rights. The arrest is swift, and the atmosphere in the paddock shifts from tension to a sense of justice being served.

Natalie watches from a distance, her eyes fixed on the unfolding scene. Lando stands by her side, a protective arm around her shoulders. The weight of the recent events slowly begins to lift as they witness Lucas being led away by the police.

Lando, having fulfilled his promise to protect Natalie, looks down at her with a reassuring smile. The wheels of justice are in motion, and the dark chapter of Lucas's actions is now transitioning to a resolution that ensures accountability.

As they drive back to the hotel, the quietness inside the car is a comfortable one, devoid of tension and anxiety. The events in the paddock have left an emotional residue, but the shared silence between Natalie and Lando carries a sense of mutual understanding. The soft hum of the engine and the gentle rhythm of the road serve as a backdrop to their contemplative thoughts.

Lando occasionally glances at Natalie, his expression a mix of concern and relief. He reaches over and gently takes her hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. Natalie, still processing the recent confrontation with Lucas, appreciates the warmth of his touch.

The city lights illuminate the night, creating a calming ambiance within the car. The journey, though marked by the unexpected encounter, becomes a moment of reflection for both of them. The emotional rollercoaster they've been on seems to slow down, allowing them to catch their breaths.

In the dimly lit hotel room, the soft glow of the bathroom light spills into the space. Natalie takes a moment to compose herself, the echoes of the recent encounter with Lucas still lingering in her thoughts. As she emerges from the bathroom, she finds Lando sorting through their luggage.

Feeling a mixture of emotions, Natalie decides to embrace the solace of Lando's presence. Without saying a word, she walks over to him and wraps her arms around him. Lando, attuned to her unspoken feelings, reciprocates by folding his arms around her waist. In the quiet intimacy, he rests his head against her neck, offering silent support.

A moment of stillness hangs in the air before Natalie, moved by the comfort Lando provides, retracts slightly. Without a word, she pulls him closer and seals the moment with a sweet and reassuring kiss. The exchange speaks volumes, conveying a shared understanding and a connection that transcends words.

“What was that for?” Lando whispers once she pulls aways from the kiss.

“It was a thank you. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to thank you enough for what you did.” She murmurs, her words carrying the weight of deep appreciation.

Lando, understanding the sentiment behind her actions, tightens his embrace and responds with another tender kiss.

“And, I’ll do it again. No questions asked.” His commitment to her safety is unwavering. “You know I love you, right?”

Natalie's heart skips a beat at Lando's unexpected confession of love. The shock registers on her face as she gazes into his eyes, trying to comprehend the depth of his feelings. The weight of his words hangs in the air, and a mix of emotions swirl within her.

In that moment, the room seems to hold its breath, enveloping them in a cocoon of shared vulnerability. Natalie, caught off guard, searches Lando's eyes for sincerity and finds a sincerity that resonates deeply with her own emotions.

“You do?” She asks shyly.

“Of course, I do.” He informs her, his voice soft and low as he caresses her cheek. “How could I not?”

She presses her lips to him once more as they shuffle towards the bed. She pulls him down on top of her, her legs instinctively wrapping around him as they continue to kiss. In the intimate embrace, their lips meet in a dance of shared emotions and newfound revelations. The room, once filled with tension, transforms into a haven where unspoken feelings find expression. Lando responds to her kiss with a gentle passion, savouring the warmth of the moment.

As they continue to kiss, a sense of comfort envelops them, transcending the events of the day. The weight of recent challenges begins to lift, replaced by the tender connection they've discovered. In each other's arms, they find solace, understanding, and the promise of something deeper than the complexities of their fake relationship.

The journey from pretending to love to acknowledging true feelings has unfolded in unexpected ways, leading them to this intimate intersection. The room becomes a sanctuary for their unspoken emotions, and time seems to slow down, allowing them to savour the sweetness of the moment.

---------------------------

Taglist: @noneofyourfbusinessworld @scopeiguess @tbsloneely @secretgal66

[jrwi-autistic-swag]

Round 5/Final Poll!

Pictures and propaganda are under the cut!

Spoiler warnings for Riptide episodes 106/107 in the propaganda!

Gillion Tidestrider (Riptide)

HE IS LITERALLY. THE AUTISM CREATURE EVER. HAVE YOU SEEN HIM

Dude do I really need to say anything and ALSO ITS NOT JUST AN UNDERSEA THING WE SAW CASPIAN AND EDYN he didn’t want to tell his crew he’s autistic because he was scared and the elders were TOTALLY ableist Ty

IT IS MY DESTINY

he is autism

Lack of understanding of social cues, special interest in birds, trouble communicating and understanding emotions

he is so autistic to me. he loves birds. he doesn’t know how to process 90% of his emotions. he’s just. so autistic to me ok he’s awesome

I'm too tired for coherentness but. Fish man. Autism. Thank you.

He's literally the POSTER child for autism!! Literal fish out of water. He literally gets so excited on Loffinlot because he finally understands social cues. He has a high sense of honor, and a pretty much black and white perception of right and wrong, but with SOME actual gray areas, which is much more realistic to actual autistic people. I hate it here.

he

TWO WORDS: AUTISTIC. FISH. NEED I SAY MORE.

Literally look at him Just look at him

He gives of the vibe, also he reacts the same way as I do in most social situations. Also he is literally a fish out of water, and at least in the beginning had practically 0 knowledge of "proper social cues" and that lead to people misunderstanding what he thought would be the correct reaction. This is an example from a rather recent episode so SPOILER WARNING!! But when he heard crying in the dungeon his immediate thought was that someone was scared or hurt not that someone could be luring him into a trap

Peter Sqloint (Apotheosis)

LOOK AT HIM. LOOK AT HIS BIG BROWN AUTISTIC EYES. LOOK AT HIM SILLY LITTLE EXISTENCE. HE LITERALLY IS THE "me and the bitch I pulled by being autistic" WITH RUMI. HE IS SO SILLY

His special interest is rocks, he named his pet lizard lizard, he pulled quite possibly THE BADDEST bitch…like?!

I mean just look at him, he’s just a little goober and like yippee as hell

listen. listen. listen. there is no other character more autistic than peter sqloint. his special interest is rocks and lizards. he used unfathomable otherworldly power to duplicate his lizard. half the campaign was spent talking about rocks and trying to find a good log for his lizard. he is the most autistic autist and i’ve ever seen in my life. he canonically has trouble maintaining eye contact and making eye contact in general. listen to me. he is autism incarnate. i would die for him

have you seen his rock collection? or his missing of social cues and norms? and also the fact he is a charlie slimecicle character? literally nobody more autism than him

Have you seen him? He is the definition of the meme “me and the bad bitch I pulled by being autistic”

[cowboyinternist]

hello and welcome to the post where i finally talk about some of my favorite wtnv episode art, because it’s a thing they do that i absolutely adore.

and i think it’s severely under appreciated/untalked about

starting with this one because i think it’s really lovely both in concept and execution. i have the print of it :)

i enjoy this work a lot for a same reason that i love room scenes: story told through subtlety. using the fridge as a canvas, including esteban’s drawings and letter magnets, gives us a window into the lives of these characters that we don’t really see in the typical format of this show. it’s also just really cute??

the subtle references to the past, the constant, and the current really tie the themes of the episode (and the show as a whole) together.

other things of note:

the star tarot card is representative of hope and new beginning.

the exes on the community calendar match up to the day of the month (the 15th).

i really really really like the references to the wtnv novel, because i think the novels are neglected a lot when it comes to the podcast and merchandising.

it knows with a certainty that the people seeing it will understand the niche references on it, and thus does not feel a need to explain itself.

it works really great as episode art, but also wonderfully as a 10th anniversary piece. unlike the poster. which i hate.

like the above, i love this one for several reasons. the composition, the colors, the lettering.

but above all i am a big enjoyer of flower imagery and symbolism.

lavender is pretty well known to symbolize calm, and tranquility. i think most people know that. and i think that reflects the kind of levelheaded and methodical way that carlos finally deals with his problems in this episode.

and i’m hoping the it’s representative of carlos’ mindset in the year to come? representative of him finding peace with his past.

him having his back turned to the viewer gives a sense of withdrawal or running away, but the lavender and calm atmosphere portray an aura is resignation. he’s done running.

other things:

old woman josie says in an early episode that carlos smells like lavender chewing gum

lavender is drought resilient and does very well in desert climates :)

i love this one for the same reason that i have issues with the most recent arc.

the magnifying glass both casts a shadow over and a beaming light into the community that you see in the illustration. it can be assumed that it’s only a matter of time before it bursts into flames and is destroyed under the prying eye. symbolism that is pretty easy to dissect. it tells us exactly what the danger is and exactly what is in danger in a very easy to interpret way.

welcome to night vale has always had a very heavy emphasis on community, but for me that isn’t really shown in this arc.

allegorical meaning aside, it ended up being framed in this way that ended up m very cecil & carlos vs. the night vale community + the uowii. rather than it being cecil, carlos, and the night vale community vs. the uowii. which was so

i think both of those concepts exist within the arc, but the latter is less believable because there’s so much less community detail. characters motives are not described. characters reactions to certain events are brushed past, often with little emotion to them. oh josh is missing? that sucks. anyways. dana is completely innocent? woohoo! anyways. they don’t allow room to for us, and the characters, to just FEEL? which is a stark contrast to the writing of previous years.

night vale as a community is what was at stake at this arc. but the lack of focus on characters and the relationships between them really took the stakes and emotion out of the situation. and, for me, took some impact and comedic value out of the ending.

i remember being really excited upon seeing this episode art because this piece did a really good job at setting an expectation for what the themes of this year would be. the themes were still there, but the writing didn’t do them justice and didn’t give them enough push to make them feel as impactful as they should have been.

this is all that i have the energy to talk about for now, but if there’s other episode art you’d like me to talk about, send me an ask! i’m also happy to talk about my opinions on other merch pieces that they have in their store! :)

[kingedmundsroyalmurder]

Blue Castle Book Club 2.0 - Chapter 6

I still don’t love the utter contrivance of Dr. Trent receiving the phone call about his son the very moment he is about to tell Valancy his diagnosis. I know these things happen, and it is on such conveniences that plots are born, but it feels forced.

But we’re working a theme, and that theme is Nobody Cares About Valancy. As we’ll start to see, only some of that is actually true in objective reality. Valancy has been so trained by her family and her own unhappiness that she has started to see deliberate slights where none may actually exist. I’ve seen fans speculate that her heart condition is actually panic attacks, and she definitely seems to be displaying something reminiscent of social anxiety with how she assumes that everyone in the world is scrutinizing and judging her at all times.

But of course, in Valancy’s case it’s made worse by the fact that people are scrutinizing and judging her at all times, and it does make sense that she would expand what she knows of how her family treats her onto everyone else she meets. So she assumes Dr. Trent has forgotten her because she’s so insignificant as to not be worth remembering, rather than assuming that whatever news he got must have been dreadful indeed.

And it turns out that it was, actually, dreadful news that distracted him, rather than anything to do with her at all.

Valancy goes home via lover’s lane, because of course she does. I am lightly shocked that Deerwood allows canoodling of any kind in public, although my assumption is that “canoodling” in this context is closer to making out than it is to actual sex acts. Presumably if there was actual sex happening then the young girls in pairs would not be allowed anywhere near the place.

Valancy, of course, runs into both a pair of friends and a romantic couple, just to hammer home what she herself is missing so badly. Once again, she is positive that everyone is talking about her. Even in her Blue Castle everyone is always talking about her, even if there everything they have to say is positive.

Of course Lover’s Lane “debouches” onto the street. Nothing so pedestrian as “ends” or “gives way” or even “emerges”. No, for Lover’s Lane we must be French and lightly suggestive. Even our verb choices serve to remind us of what Valancy so desires and has never had.

And, of course, upon whom do we debouche? Why upon Barney Snaith! I see you, Lusty Mind Montgomery.

Barney Snaith, who gets a properly excited introduction. Barney Snaith, who gets a proper physical description and a rundown of all the worst gossip that Valancy can’t quite bring herself to believe. Barney Snaith, who is the first person we have met thus far whom Valancy never once assumes is thinking of her. Everyone else is smiling because they must be laughing at her; Barney is smiling and all Valancy can think is how much she envies him for his freedom.

But Valancy doesn’t get freedom, not yet. Valancy has to go home to her dreadful house and listen to her dreadful relatives. We know that there is change coming for her, because the story has told us so, but she doesn’t know that. And so, as Maud tells us:

Valancy’s day of destiny had come and gone. She ended it as she had begun it, in tears.

Colors mentioned:

Pink organdy dresses

Premature grey

Tawny hair dashed with red

Dark-brown eyes

Black with grease

Black pipe

Black stockings

And not a color, but honorable mention to Valancy feeling “colorless” as she walks down lover’s lane, which I am taking as communication to me directly from Lucy Maud beyond the grave confirming that I have successful picked up on a deliberate writing choice. (I mean, I knew I had, but I appreciate it just the same!)

Anyway, Barney gets a couple colors, but nothing very exciting yet. Later, his eyes will be purple. For now, they're still just brown.

[louisisalarrie]

what was it really like being in the fandom when 1d was still together? was there stuff happening like every day?

oh my god yes. it was incredible. almost every day we had new content, and it wasn’t all just promo or anything, like, the boys would post on their instagrams, tweet us and each other, there’d be interviews, twitcams, snapchats, photoshoots, new music, new content every day from the tour they were on etc., we were thriiiiiiiving. it felt like so much more of a special relationship, because they’d share more from a personal level and not just tweet to promote new stuff. It was very fun and wholesome and the fandom as a whole were just sooooo active.

due to having all this new content all the time, we also obviously got a lot of Larry stuff. and a lot of Larry stuff means active larries, proofs, a million gif versions of the same interaction, just… excitement. You never knew what they’d do the next day. Tumblr and Twitter was just full of 1d and Larry.

And I think this is a major factor as to why so many larries have slipped away, as well as antis, general 1d fans, etc., because we’re not really… getting much from them anymore. If you go have a look through the 1d Instagram, as well as the boys’ person instagrams, they were active sooooo often. It was a post almost every couple of days. And our fandom was very fun, but fandoms were so much more of a thing. It was like “Directioners vs. Beliebers” and while we argued about who was better, it felt not as purposely hostile as it does now. Fandoms just aren’t the same now, they exist in a different light. If you were around kinda the 12-16 yr old age during 2011-2016, being in a fandom, no matter the topic, was just a thing. It was a sense of belonging, and friendship.

Apart from being such a different fandom these days with the solos and baby fans on Twitter being involved, we also just aren’t getting anything except promo stuff/stunt content (in Harry’s case particularly) now. A selfie from one of them (Louis mainly lol) and we’re all happy and excited for like 24 hours before we’re parched again. The relationship we had back then was so fun and exciting. We grew up with them, and laughed and smiled and felt like we knew them. It just felt so different to the basic promo that every other artist was doing. But twitter and Instagram were used for that reason. But now, they’re very different platforms and we are in a very different social media and PR climate than ever before.

And I think with the lack of Larry content now, people reach to try and confirm that they are still communicating with us like before. Some of the theories I see on twitter about how Louis and harry are signalling to us are… for lack of a better term: wild. It makes us seem so stupid and like we look into things too deep and reach like crazy, and scramble for Larry to still be real. And that comes naturally when you still believe in something/still wanna prove it. You truly are gonna try everything you can to validate that belief to yourself, and to others. But it’s not doing us any favours.

The Larry thing came around from very clear proof, evidence, and interactions that we saw all of the time throughout 1d, but if I came into it now, I’d probably be on the “they once were together but aren’t anymore” side because I wasn’t there during 1d and the very early days, ya know? So I truly applaud baby larries for researching and upholding their belief in the boys because they deserve justice.

I miss it dearly, to be honest. The chaos, the love, the fights, the support, voting 100 times on some fan award so the Beliebers wouldn’t beat us, RBB and SBB, the belonging, the boys. Even the bad times were fun in their own way.

Anyway, living through that time, the stunts were very transparent to us because the 1d team floundered and stumbled and fucked up an incredible amount, because they hadn’t dealt with something so massive with such an intense fandom before. we watched PR try so many different ways to figure out the right equation, to techniques they still use now. I know very lovely folks who aren’t larries anymore, but still will never believe that louis has a kid. It’s really incredible and I don’t think there will be a time like that again, and the only way it would happen similarly would be if 1d got back together and a part of the fandom came back to tumblr. But now a lot of us are grown up and can’t be online 24/7, and we have bigger priorities/different interests. But I think we’ll always be here in some capacity, and the internet would fully explode if there was a reunion. God, could you imagine?

Anyway, yeah, it was a beautiful time and I miss it. Sometimes it’s lovely to go through old screenshots and their instagrams and tweets and remind myself of that time that was truly formative for us and being part of a journey that was so exciting and shocking with twists and turns and love and hate and chaotically posting about whatever happened that day and people finding lifelong friends out of a shared interest. Even the hate we used to get is nothing compared to today. It’s just so different. I wish everyone could’ve experienced that time because the ones who did and are still here… well… those boys hold a very special part of our hearts and i truly hope they come back. Even though it’ll be different, it’ll still be a bit the same.

Thanks for the reminiscing, anon!

[fayedartmouth]

Jj is my favourite from the start. And when I discovered wattpad and ao3 that's all I have been reading, fics about jj. But yours are different. I saw a little bit of others focusing on jj's mental health and thats it. But you, you are writing excatly what I wantted to read my whole life. There was so much potentional for jj and the pogues to just help eachother. Jj was struglling really bad and it was so sad to watch and none of the helped him, talked to him. Even kie was cold to him. Since I found you I read every single one story on ao3 and I am more than happy to be able to read the others. These snippets are everything, you got me excited for them like they would be coming tommorow all.

And you write it so good I can imagine the scenes, I can cry when I read it or laugh. You write jj just like him, just like I always thought he was. So good luck with everything you write cuz I see you have been here for a loong time and you know how to write. 🫶

Literally, I can't shut up. So yeah, it's under a cut.

I feel like I'm kind of old and just never even attempt Wattpad -- but now I'm wondering if there's any JJ fic there that I'm missing out on. Because I want so much JJ fic, lol.

But thank you! The thing about fic and fandom is that it's really just anything people want it to be, and people should always write what they want to write and read what they want to read. We're all here to have fun, and there are just no specific guidelines on how/why to do that.

For me, it's just always been about delving into the mental game. I use whump to get me there basically all the time, but the mental state of characters is what drives me. And especially for a character like JJ, where his mental health is so clearly an important part of what makes us love him.  I remember watching in S1, being on the fence about JJ -- and then there was hot tub scene, and we just saw him fall apart and I realized how much this kid needed and how much he was hurting and I was done for.  Like I was 100% done for, and I haven't stopped writing him since.

Which is why what the show did in S4 was so weird?  And upsetting?  Because I was totally fine with how dark they took JJ -- and that he was making mistakes and unraveling.  But they completely failed to put him back together.  I was expecting some version of the hot tub scene -- with the hurt, the revelation, and the comfort -- but like it just never came and then he was dead and I was just horrified.

So I am going to fix it, lol.  For my mental stability, I have to fix it.

And that's just kind of you to say, all around.  For me, it's weird, but writing is my purest form of expression, the place where I exist most fully.  Sometimes that makes me anxious, because sharing that part of myself can be overwhelming and makes you feel vulnerable.  But it's been such a joy to share JJ with other people and to have that joint sense of love and community over him.  It kind of makes my day.

I'm always writing but it just varies on how fast I'm able to go.  I've enjoyed the snippets as a low stress way to get things out -- because usually I only post finished fics, so it's kind of fun just to share stuff as I go with no promise of completion or deadline.  And what I will say is that sharing fic and fandom is truly a reciprocal experience.  So getting feedback makes it so much more fun -- thank you!

[ladysomething]

Hello! Back with more thoughts! I can already tell this is going to be way too long, I am so sorry in advance, dont feel like you have to respond!! But first of all, I saw an ask where you said you liked Taylor Swift and since you were at the AUS GP, I must ask- did you get to go to the Eras Tour in Australia? I will be incredibly jealous if you did!! Anyways, AHHH THIS CHAPTER!! I have so many thoughts, I wish I could share all of them, but that would actually turn this ask into a real essay and this will already be too long lol.

I LOVED the new things we learned about the Dreyma Ver-öld!!! So interesting that people still feel pain there, but in a lesser way (does the same thing apply when sensing emotions through a bond, like Max can do with Charles now?) and so interesting that they don’t visit it while in heat/rut. And very very interesting that injuries received in there exist in the real world too!! I am DYING to know what Max’s is like, since I get the feeling it’s not quite the safe space that Charles’ is.

THE COLLAR?! I’m seeing everyone freaking out about it, but not going to lie, I burst out laughing when I read that part. OF COURSE Max would be *that* petty and throw Charles’ comment back in his face like that. I am obsessed with them and the way you write them. And the collar is awful and humiliating, but I am also excited for its reappearance 😏

I was so excited for a Max POV last chapter, but I semi-take that back now because knowing both of their perspectives and seeing wildly wrong they both are about each other just makes me want to lock them in a room and barricade the door until they figure out what a communication is. I’m frustrated as hell now, but also absolutely living for the angst while I wait for them to figure out what words are!!

I think Charles is incredibly stupid for thinking Ferarri is going to care about him starving himself. And Charles clearly isn’t caring about himself beyond just trying to get away from Max right now, so it feels incredibly twisted that Max is kind of the only person who is knows what is going on with Charles and cares about Charles (even if he seems to care in an incredibly weird and fucked up way right now). 

LOVE how susceptible you’ve made Charles is to alphas and how that fucks up the power dynamic EVEN more (the way he reacts to Pierre now???, the way he said that if Max had used his alpha voice, he would have been out for HOURS????!!!!) I have a feeling that this is a big reason that Max isn’t letting him go anywhere, and that this will become veryyyyy relevant (perhaps with a certain Mercedes mechanic 👀) later????

There’s SO much more I want to say but this is WAYYYY too long (sorry!!!), so super quick honourable mentions: 

happy dance when I saw the fic title in the chapter!!

“Maybe it’ll come to fruition as soon as the Monaco GP” I am suddenly TERRIFIED for what you have planned for Charles’ home race

Pierre becoming visibly worried in response to Charles getting a maniacal little grin and coming up with an awful plan had me absolutely rolling I love the way you write everyone

Eek it was all so good!! I am so excited to eventually get to the point in this fic where we start getting answers instead of more questions but I LOVE this suspense you’re building!! Thank you for sharing <3

you've triggered me very deeply, because I did NOT GO TO THE ERAS TOUR. I COULDN'T GET TICKETS. I stg I cried for like 3 days when I missed out lol. and then also had a weep when I watched the movie. I will forever rage at people who went to like 5 nights because how the FUCK did they get those tickets!!!!

I'm so glad you like the dream world so much. there are some reallllyyyyyy fun scenes planned for that place.

zipped lips re the alpha voice!!!! but it's also going to be coming back!!!

Pierre thought "does Charles not remember that the last time he thought he had a great plan he got bought by Max" and you know what??? that was very real of him

I think the answers are going to start trickling in pretty soon!! I think? Well, I think so at least haha. the next Max POV gives some pretty good insight into a couple things.

[defectivehero]

What do you want to see/read more with heroes and villains?

This is a great question, and I can only hope that I'm both doing it justice and also interpreting it correctly...

I suppose I'm not quite sure. If I'm being perfectly honest, I haven't quite been active in the hero/villain community on Tumblr in at least a year. The concept was staring to bore me, and I soon felt pigeonholed by the same broad labels that were supposed to be freeing for my writing.

As you've probably noticed, I haven't been very active on this blog recently. I'm writing a lot of fanfiction on AO3 and my other Tumblr... and now, I find that when I have the itch to write, I turn to fan fiction because it has pre-established characters and universes that I can then bend to my own will and desires. It's much easier to avoid the pitfalls that can plague the hero/villain content, because there is already at least some minimum foundation of knowledge required for fanfiction pieces to be comprehensible to the audience.

With that said, I think I'd like to read more hero & villain pieces that utilize one or more of the following qualities:

Satire. I really enjoy pieces that—to some degree of consciousness—have a sense of awareness. It doesn't necessarily matter how this awareness is cultivated, but it can manifest in different ways. Here are some examples that come to the top of my head:

the hero thinking about their role [either in life or in the story] as a hero, and how this commitment to heroism influences their own actions. sometimes, this shows through in their backstory; other times, this shows through in their own conceptualization as a hero.

same thing goes for the villain–how they interpret their own villainy can have a massive impact on the story. how do they see themself? do they think themself to be evil—and if so, to what degree—or perhaps taking on the burdens that others aren't courageous enough to take?

some acknowledgment of existing tropes. I've seen this executed quite well in a simple moment of dialogue, with a hero or villain poking fun at the situation they find themself in. humor is an effective weapon during moments of tension in stories, and it also introduces a new feeling to a concept that may already exist elsewhere. (but, again, as I'm sure most of you have seen, if humor is the only thing going for the piece, then it is likely going to feel uncomfortable or even cringey. gotta have some balance!)

I also enjoy pieces that don't spotlight romance. This is mostly because, a lot of times, the romance can feel either rushed, forced, cliche, or a combination of any of these. A hero falls in love with a villain, forbidden relationship, blah, blah, bLAH. It's been done a million times before. And, honestly? There's much more nuance and creativity in the components of a rivalry/tense alliance/hard-won friendship than in a hero/villain love story. Don't get me wrong, romance can really enhance a story—but I prefer it to show through in smaller actions and ambiguous, undefined relationships. It feels more meaningful that way.

Lastly, I'd say that I really enjoy stories that use a hero/villain dynamic but show it through different characters. This can show through in mythical beings, creatures, and humans that aren't a "hero" or a "villain." Detectives, pirates, vampires, fairies, aliens... There's nearly limitless potential!

The truth of the matter, in my opinion, is that the hero & villain dynamic has already been thoroughly explored. This community on Tumblr has been around for a while. Selfishly speaking, I miss the days when heroes & villains were a new and fresh concept—when the tag didn't have many followers and there was an air of excitement and intrigue to it all. About a year (and a half?) ago, I got so frustrated with this that I purged my entire blog and nearly deleted all my work.

The reasons I've detailed are why I've been recently struggling to write the dynamic. I don't want to create something that has already been created and, unfortunately, that is very difficult to accomplish now. But! This question has gotten the rusty cogs of my motivation to start whirring away. I'm going to challenge myself to utilize and uphold these standards I have listed out here.

[queermuslimarchives]

Bisexuality and Islam

– Anonymous admin

Inshallah, over the course of these specific blogs highlighting some of the Islamic positions of being L (Lesbian) or G (Gay) with the B (Bisexual), the T (Transgender) and the “I” (Intersex) we can all learn a bit more about ourselves and one another. We are separate entities but we can and must come together and actively endeavour to help one another in our struggles because there is a common thread that binds us all, and that is our Islam.

The muslim bisexual flag is based on the following colours:

Blue stands for heterosexuality

Pink stands for homosexuality

Purple, as a result of the mixture of blue and pink, stands for bisexuality with the Islamic Star and Crescent denoting our faith. It should be noted that both in the blue and in the pink area there are invisible purple pixels to represent the unrecognised bisexuality of some people of these groups.

The bisexual community amongst us is one that is often misunderstood and ignored, and we must affirm their existence in our Muslim LGBTI community. There is so much written on the subject of being gay/homosexual in Islam particularly brother Scott Kugle’s magnum opus Homosexuality in Islam, but his work does suffer from his unwillingness to deal with bisexual orientation and the blurred and shifting boundaries between heterosexuality and homosexuality.

Bisexuality, like homosexuality and heterosexuality is an identity category describing one’s capacity for relating intimately/romantically with others. Like homosexuality and heterosexuality one could look at behaviour to determine one’s identity. For example, those who have sexual relations only with someone of the other sex are heterosexual, and those who have sex only with those of the same sex are homosexual. When one applies this mechanical definition, however, one finds that many persons do not qualify for the identity they claim in both the hetero and homosexual worlds, and that there is a much wider prevalence of behavioural bisexuality than at first perceived. In fact, the research of the Kinsey Institute showed that human behaviour and romantic inclination span a bell curve. A small percentage are totally straight, a small percentage are totally gay, and the majority of people dwell somewhere in the middle. That being said, strict behavioural definitions are extremely limited and limiting. They do not reflect the complex array of factors that combine to create an emotionally mature and honest social and psychological identity.

A more complete assessment of sexual orientation identity for all orientations would look at attraction to one or more genders, not just at the actual sexual behaviour. Attraction can be realised on at least four levels: the physical (heart racing, sweating, primary sexual organ engorgement); emotional (romantic feelings, yearning, missing when not around, day dreaming about someone, wanting a future life with someone); spiritual (feeling a mysterious connection, experiencing deep joy and contentment when with someone, having the sense of knowing someone forever, even if you just met); and intellectual (excitement about shared opinions or sparring around different opinions, creative exploration of ideas and projects). Attraction can then be expressed with another through physical intimacy, but it can also be expressed through fantasy, dreams, poetry, song writing, music, chaste friendship, etc. As a result, one’s sexual orientation identity could be totally divorced from one’s sexual behaviour. For example, one can be celibate and be heterosexual. One can be monogamous and bisexual. One can have sex with someone of the same gender in certain environments (e.g. prison) or for certain political reasons (e.g. lesbian separatism) and be heterosexual.

Bisexual identity is no more or less complicated than a heterosexual or homosexual identity. Those who claim it state that they recognise, honour, and appreciate their capacity to love beyond gender categories, whether they act upon it or not.

So when it comes to the Qur’anic understanding of sexuality I think the distinction has to be made, not based on same-sex feelings, but rather based on the presence or absence of arousal with the opposite sex. That is how you identify essential gay people in the centuries before the category of homosexuality existed and in accordance with the Kinsey research that shows that most people’s innate sexual orientation is bisexual and the Qur’an does mention this in 42:49:

“To Allah belongs the dominion over the heavens and the earth. It creates what It wills. It prepares for whom It wills females, and It prepares for whom It wills males “42:50 “Or It marries together the males and the females, and It makes those whom It wills to be non-procreative. Indeed It is the Knowing, the Powerful.”

Arabic: لله مُلْكُ السَّموتِ وَالْاَرْضِ يَخْلُقُ مَا يَشَآءُ يَهَبُ لِمَنْ يَّشَآءُ اِنَاثاً وَّيَهَبُ لِمَنْ يَّشَآءُ الذُّكُوْرَ \ اَوْ يُزَوَّجُهُمْ ذُكْرَاناً وَّاِنَاثاً وَيَجْعَلُ مَنْ يَّشَآءُ عَقِيْماً اِنَّهُ عَلِيْمٌ قَدِيْمٌ

These last two verses (42:49 and 50) are usually interpreted differently in English translations to say that God bestows daughters or sons on whom It wills and gives some people both sons and daughters. But there are problems with this interpretation, one of which being that the word for causing to marry or pairing up [زَوَّجَ] is used in the second verse. When families have boys and girls, the boys and girls do not usually arrive in pairs! The second problem is that, in Qur’anic verses mentioning males and females together, the males are usually mentioned first, and the females second (e.g., 3:195, 4:12, 4:124, 6:143-144, 16:97, 40:40, 42:50, 49:13, 53:21, 53:45, 75:39, 92:3). This is the only verse in the Qur’an, as far as I know, in which the female is mentioned before the male. If these two verses were talking about sons and daughters, we would expect sons to be mentioned before daughters.

In this case, the “males first” principle would indicate that the lines are referring to females and males not as offspring, but as counterparts, i.e. objects of desire, for “whom(ever) God wills.” The female objects of desire are mentioned first because they are most typically objects of desire for males. Hence, even this verse is referring to males first, as the most typical “whom(ever)” for whom God prepares females. Yet the use of the word “whom(ever)” leaves it open for females to be objects of desires for other females as well, when God wills, and for males to be love objects for females and other passive non-males. I believe this verse is very neatly and concisely describing the varieties of sexual orientation and gender, which Allah, the All-Knowing and All-Powerful, creates as Allah wishes.

The non-procreative can include abstinent women as well as men, and in fact “the abstinent ones among women, who do not hope for marriage” [وَالْقَوَاعِدُ مِنَ النِّسآءِ الّتِي لَا يَرْجُوْنَ نِكَاحاً], are permitted to “put off their cover” in Sura 24:60.

As mentioned above for bisexual males to be love objects for females and other passive non-males. For the ancient world, the meaning of “male” was more nuanced than our modern strictly anatomical definition. In ancient times, they recognised that certain persons of male sex were nonetheless physically unaroused by women, and unable to obtain erections with women or perform sexually with women, and for this reason, were NOT “male” in gender. Instead, they were defined as eunuchs, NOT males. Such persons are referred to in sura 24:31 . Consequently, they are not intended by the story of Lut. That story is about persons who sexually assault men who are “male” in the ancient sense, which they do in order to humiliate and disenfranchise them, or simply out of a lack of respect for them as men. It is about military and prison rape of men. It certainly has nothing to do with the sexual activities of gay men, who are innately insensitive to the attractions of women, and are therefore natural eunuchs, or khisyan in Arabic, and therefore are not “male” by the ancient definition of the term.

So historically there was a taboo against sexually penetrating a “male” or letting yourself be penetrated if you were a “male”. Such behaviour if habitual would turn the passive “male” into a social eunuch. It would emasculate him. And that behaviour of turning males into eunuchs, emasculating them, was originally the crime of the people of Lut. Indeed emasculated males could lose their right to inheritance in their social sphere.

How this operates within Islamic Law? if you are bisexual or heterosexual you are considered ‘male’ according to the ancient gender scheme and were not allowed to be passive in a sexual role with another male. Remember, it is only the act that is prohibited. However, the modern categories of gay, bisexual and heterosexual are slippery, imprecise and disputed, and need to be pinned down before any useful discussion of the applicability or inapplicability of laws to different kinds of people can take place.

Finally, do remind yourself that your relationship with Allah subhanat’allah is between you and your Creator. No one is allowed to come in between, and judge you or your intentions and actions and the Qur’an can be an essential part in your personal conversation with Allah. Take your time analysing the above verses and explore its meaning for yourself, and I am always at hand if there are any questions.

Assalumualikum!

🛑 This article was first published in Hidayah LGBT+ charity or Hidayah UK's website on January, 2018

[sinceileftyoublog]

mui zyu Interview: Embracing the Chaos

mui zyu

JORDAN MAINZER

Pop experimenter mui zyu--the stage name for London-based artist Eva Liu--combines explorations of her heritage with wide-eyed, open-hearted dives into the modern world. Born in Northern Ireland to parents who were Hong Kong immigrants, Liu grew up studying more classical art before choosing to pursue film studies at university. Her first foray into recording music was as lead vocalist of alt rock trio Dama Scout; she released her debut EP as mui zyu in 2021. mui zyu's debut album, Rotten Bun for an Eggless Century reckoned with ideas of identity and lineage but also memory and perception, Liu continuing her tradition of using field and voice recordings from her family. But it was a mere year later where Liu took the biggest artistic leap.

On miu zyu's second album nothing or something to die for (Father/Daughter), Liu's themes and soundscapes expanded beyond bedroom pop, beyond her head. Fittingly, it was her first time not recording at home. With a grant from the PRS Foundation, Liu and her longtime collaborator Luciano Rossi were able to set up at Middle Farm Studios in Devon, sessions that challenged Liu to take her sound to the next level, increasing her use of vocal manipulation and pedal wizardry. Its genre aesthetics are wonderfully all over the place. Scraped, raw acoustic guitar-led love song "everything to die for" is sandwiched between whirring synth-and-drum machine jam "the mould" and the melancholic, Postal Service-esque "donna like parasites". "speak up sponge", meanwhile, is a string-laden, comparative dirge. Album closer “扮豬食老虎”, with piano, sampled vocals from Liu's family, echoing field recordings, and decaying synths, exists somewhere between Rotten Bun and William Basinski's The Disintegration Loops.

What's also special about nothing or something to die for is that Liu was able to work with like-minded artists. Miss Grit, whose work also uses fantastical, sci-fi themes to investigate identity, lends her vocals to "please be ok", a song about not being honest with yourself about your feelings in the presence of others. She and Liu harmonize, eventually over a drum machine beat, only to be subsumed by faster tempos and distortion, as if to remind themselves it's important to let it all out in the beginning, else you're drowned out. Father/Daughter labelmate Pickle Darling features on "in the dot", providing strikingly atonal vocals to go along side warbling synths on a song that reminds us that momentary happiness is preferable to the destructive pursuit of perfection. Perhaps most meaningful to Liu, though, was getting to work with lei, e, aka Emma Lee Moss (fka Emmy the Great). Liu looked up to Moss, another Hong Kong British artist in the indie music scene, for years before getting to work with her, eventually opening for her and singing Cantonese covers with her at the Hackney Chinese Community Centre in London. For their first proper original song collaboration, mui zyu and lei, e take us on a sonic odyssey, adding to the album's canvas of synths, drum machines, and guitar distortion with off-kilter piano, noise, and then a quiet hum.

In September, mui zyu released nothing or something to die for (Cantonese tasting menu), 5 songs from the album translated into Cantonese. It was an opportunity for Liu to work with not only Moss but her father, for hours over the phone, on translating the lyrics. The specific songs picked are a perfect encapsulation of mui zyu's current diverse sensibilities; if you wanted to get a sense for who she is as an artist, ironically, I'd tell you to start there. Most exciting is that mui zyu remains unpredictable, the type of artist who could go in one of many different directions and will probably pick the least expected route.

Last year, I spoke with Liu over Zoom about her songwriting process and picking collaborators on nothing or something to die for, as well as how film inspires her music. Read our conversation below, edited for length and clarity.

nothing or something to die for cover art

Since I Left You: Now that nothing or something to die for has been out for a while, has your relationship with the music changed because you've gotten outside reception?

Eva Liu: I don't think it's changed. I finished the album [in October 2023]. We got it to a place where I was really happy with it. I haven't said goodbye to it, [but] once it's out of your control, you let it do its thing.

SILY: With the addition of videos, the album has a whole visual identity. It almost seems like nothing or something to die for is more than an album, like a conceptual world.

EL: Because [my] first [record] had a concept that arrived naturally, I didn't want this album to has as much of a concept. But it has definitely formed its own little world naturally. In a way, it's looking outwards as opposed to inwards like the first album. There wasn't a narrative I was building--the songs just go well together. Putting it together was kind of chaotic, and the album is about embracing chaos, so it seems like that was meandering throughout it.

SILY: Did you study film?

EL: I studied Film Studies at university. It wasn't practical or about making a film, but it was about film theory, kind of like [what Art History is to art.] I actually didn't want to go to uni, but I didn't know what to do. I love film, so that's why I chose [to study Film Studies.]

SILY: You've certainly mentioned a lot of direct filmic inspirations on some of these songs. How do you connect the film world to the music world? How do those inspirations, like 2001: A Space Odyssey on "satan marriage" or Blue Velvet on "sparky", come about?

EL: I don't really write with film in mind. I do have a sort of vision with the songs, and having been so influenced by film in the past, I am inspired a lot by images and art and how [movies are made.] Sometimes, if I want to capture a certain feeling in a song or video, I'll reference certain pieces of work that I love. But I'm not wanting to write about film, if that makes sense. It's just something that helps me creatively.

SILY: The folks you collaborated with on this record are everyone from those you looked up to in the past to your peers and a Father/Daughter labelmate. How did you choose your list of collaborators, and what does it mean to you to have this group in particular on the record?

EL: lei, e was someone I looked up to in my journey with music and identified with, having not seen many artists who are from Hong Kong or Hong Kong British, especially in the indie scene. I loved her music, and she was definitely a role model for me. I had reached out [three] years ago on the off chance she wanted to collaborate, and we've done a few things together since. [pauses] Oh, that's funny, she just texted me. [laughs] We ended up doing shows together and events at the Hackney Chinese Community Centre here in London, on Cantonese translations for songs, and a whole bunch of other stuff. She's become a very dear friend of mine. I really wanted to work with her on [an original] song, which is why she was one of the people I wanted on this album. She's got such a nice voice as well.

Miss Grit is someone I met [two years ago.] I loved their guitar playing. We just got chatting, and it was great to collaborate. These artists, I didn't directly pursue them to work with, but when I was writing this album, there would be some songs I had in mind for collaboration, and certain artists made sense for what I felt the song needed. Pickle Darling, we're on the same label, and I love their whole sound and delivery.

SILY: Did the lyrics or the concepts come before the instrumentation?

EL: Usually, in my music, the instrumentation comes first and lyrics after. I sort of tend to write based on a feeling and how that feels on an instrument. I'm actually not very good with words in general. I find it easier to translate what I'm trying to create with music as opposed to words.

SILY: Throughout the record, there's such an interplay between what you're saying and what the song's about, and the way the songs are constructed. You play a lot with tempo, and I feel like it's somewhere between thrilling and disorienting. It's a very effective contrast to the songs. Was that intentional?

EL: There's definitely a relationship. The music is based on a certain feeling or message I'm trying to portray, and the words come together and arrive gradually. Sometimes, they come to me much quicker than others. It takes a bit more time with lyrics [for me.]

SILY: Is the title "telephone congee" named after the term that suggests it should take the length of a phone call to cook congee?

EL: It's actually to do with the length of time you're on the phone, if you're talking too long, you're boiling congee. My mom and aunt would be on the phone for ages, and my dad would be like, "You're talking so much, it's like telephone congee." It's quite colloquial, but it means you're on the phone too much.

SILY: Are the two "telephone congee" interludes plus the final track, "扮豬食老虎", all sampled vocals from your family?

EL: That's my mom speaking Cantonese. She was also on the first album as well. I need to stop getting my family to do stuff. [laughs]

SILY: They've been on everything, right?

EL: Yeah. Even the first EP. My niece and nephew were on [a record], and my dad was on the first record. It's been a nice way for me to do something with them. They're quite far away. My parents are in Hong Kong, and my sister and brother are spread out. Growing up, music wasn't that encouraged. [My parents] encouraged piano lessons and to learn classical music, but not as a career. They must have gotten around to the idea that music is more than a hobby. It's kind of like letting them in to my world, having them send me voice notes or sing on stuff.

SILY: Do they know the voice notes they send are going to be used on your music?

EL: They do, but sometimes, my mom will send me a voice note, and I'll ask, "Can I put this on a song?" and she won't really know what it's for.

SILY: Can you tell me about the album art?

EL: The album art was done by a friend who calls herself Waffle Burger. She's a great artist, a painter. She does these incredible apocalyptic paintings that have this kind of eerie but cute element to them. I felt like that's how my music feels like at times. I like things that are juxtaposing. I actually bought one of her small paintings. We were chatting more when we were working on this album, and I thought of her to do it, and she was receptive. We discussed what sort of vibe it would be, and I picked out things I liked in her work. Her understanding on the album was translated into this strange cave with these creatures. I didn't ask her to, but my cat's in it, in the little picture frame.

SILY: Are you the type of artist always writing songs, or do you have to set aside time to do it?

EL: I wish I could be someone who's just constantly creating, but I'm someone who has to set aside time to focus on it. I noodle on guitar quite a bit, but when it comes to writing, I have to set aside time.

SILY: Is there anything you've been listening to, watching, or reading lately that's caught your attention?

EL: Recently, I've been listening to a lot of Sun Ra and Xiu Xiu. I went to see MaXXXine at the cinema. I enjoyed that; that was fun. Me and my friends have been watching a lot of horror movies. I watched Scanners and loved it and re-watched The Wicker Man, one of my favorite films--the 1973 version, not the Nicolas Cage one. I watched some interesting horror films my friend was keen on seeing, like Paranormal Activity 2--my friends were having a [marathon], and I joined for the 2nd. It's not something I normally watch. I think they watched all 7? I didn't even know there were 7 Paranormal Activity [films.] I've been listening to The Blindboy Podcast.

Tour dates

2/24: El Cid, Los Angeles, CA

2/27: Public Records, Brooklyn, NY

3/1: Wavelength Winter Festival, Toronto, Canada

3/29, Far East Film Festival. Udine, Italy

[365sylviaplath]

Week of 8/26-9/1

astrology forecast + collective tarot card for the week

Card for this week: Page of Cups (reversed) - creative block o'clock for many of us this week.... it'll be important this week to re-focus your creative desires to ensure that joy is at the forefront. and yes, everyone has a creative side! you may be a bit stuck going through the motions, beating yourself up for not pursuing more creative routes, or even missing your simple childhood joys. your inner self beckons for a play-doh set or whatever random childhood art/craft that you never actually got to do but always wanted to - things of that ilk. do a little project that has no tangible reward besides fun and enjoyment! time spent doing things for fun/things you love is never time wasted. reconnect with the sense of joy that creativity intends to channel and it will really reconnect you to yourself this week.

Transits/Astro forecast: divas. thank goodness these last few weeks are over. we still might have a little rockiness as we close out this mercury retrograde, but absolutely nothing compared to last week. exorcism can be necessary from time to time, but i do think it went remarkably hard. as we know- current rxs (retrogrades) are mercury (until wednesday afternoon!), chiron, saturn, neptune, pluto. and as one ends, another begins - uranus will join the mix on sunday. i feel like the last few days of a mercury retrograde are prone to throwing a last punch or two for good measure - be prepared for communication mishaps/delays/redirections of any sort.

uranus entering the retrograde pile while pluto also re-enters capricorn for the final time in our lifetimes will definitely bring some past themes that we need to liberate ourselves from. i think the beautiful lover/dreamer energy of this week meeting this uranus/pluto energy makes us able to view change from an optimistic lens. rather than being worn down and exhausted (this energy last week would've taken me out), asking ourselves what we want from a place of love is a joyful invitation to moodboard a life we dream of having.

as for specifics- lots of venus and outer planet interaction this week

tuesday 8/27- venus trine uranus - very much in alignment with this week's tarot card, try something new or something you'd forgotten you loved! you might be able to come back to it now with a renewed enthusiasm. keep an eye out for new and exciting invitations this week, especially in the realm of hobbies and relationships. what can you call in that sets you free?

wednesday 8/28- venus opposite neptune (rx) and mercury stationing direct in leo (mercury retrograde ends)! - a little dose of reality enters the picture between these two. this energy combined with the existing virgo energy does challenge you to balance ecstatic fun with what you can feasibly make happen. don't limit yourself, but take note of any redirections. things will likely still be a little rocky in the following few days post-mercury retrograde, but significantly fewer roadblocks and definitely more of an emphasis on moving forward (as retrogrades tend to be more focused on the past). ask yourself, where would i like to go from here?

thursday 8/29- venus enters libra and venus trine pluto (rx) - kinda loving this duo. venus is very happy to be moving from fall (virgo) to domicile (libra) - welcome home, libra! the energy is shifting from focusing on the practical aspects of love/relationship to the beautification and loving for the sake of loving. it's the shift from rejecting beautiful gifts because they're impractical vs loving beautiful gifts merely because they're beautiful. getting the cost effective coffee vs the coffee that Would Be Really Yummy. there is a season for both of these, because we need both energies for balance - we need money in our bank account BUT we also need the joys of life if any of this is to be worthwhile. venus trining pluto asks us to go deep and allow yourself to feel strongly and intensely. depth and yearning has such a place in this narrative, dream of the things you always wanted and never thought you could have! nothing is too much!!!

things pretty chill until sunday sept 1st - uranus goes retrograde, pluto retrogrades back into capricorn for the final time and we are on the cusp of a new moon (that'll be monday's business though. just forewarning). this is kind of the biggest drama of the week. we're snapped back to reflection (i suppose it never truly ends), but this time, it's bigger picture. uranus and pluto retrogrades ask you: which institutions of your life no longer belong there? what do you uphold that doesn't uphold you? pluto in capricorn has been a major backdrop in our lives since 2008 - and surely, a LOT has happened since then. pluto is all about longer term transformation and radical change, Ms. Alchemy herself. tearing shit up in a slow and excruciating way - like how you have to make more of a mess before you can actually clean your closet. i mean, pluto entered capricorn and immediately brought an economic/housing crisis. what chapters might you want to close up from 2008? for many of us, this is a major chunk of our lives, but do you notice anything that started in 2008 that you deeply wish to transform/release from your current narrative? between now and november, you will have the chance to dig into whatever this is for you (more dependent on your specific chart) and release it at last before pluto moves back into aquarius and stays there for the next several years. transformation!!!! personally….. very ready to release middle school me from the narrative.

[girltomboy]

This week has been better at taking my mind off the shit that was bothering me. My bf and I managed to work out the one thing that was on his mind and stressing me out, but I feel some type of way about the fact that I had to be upset about it and it had to waste our precious time. Also we've been having these mild and petty communication issues, like during our calls I barely get to talk about stuff cause he's either not paying attention or he's making these crude jokes that I've pointed out before. And he still makes them. And when I get visibly upset and tell him to stop he gets confused and doesn't even acknowledge what I'm saying. I don't like having to ask to be listened?? Especially when it comes to serious matters. Like maybe it's my fault for letting too much slide, but also common sense exists and he's familiar with it. I can't imagine he doesn't know that behaviour is icky. But anyway I'm gonna bring it up soon and repeat myself if I have to... But it's not that huge a deal, just stuff that piles up and builds resentment.

So this week I worked at the office again with my work bestie, and on Tuesday we went out for dinner and had the most amazing meal at this one really good high quality cheap place. And our ex coworker came to the city too and joined us to say hi and chat. It was a lot of fun and I missed him. On Wednesday we went to this pub for "a quick glass of wine" cause we had to meet our other friend at another pub and help her out with quiz night. So we ordered 2 Sambucas and 2 glasses of rosé. Sambuca was BAD I HATE IT but the wine was so delicious we ordered another one each 🤭 and there was this lady walking around, and my friend said she looks like this actress from my country, let's say Judy. Then the waiter comes to our table and asks if we want to have a free taste of some rosé wine, so we're like sure! In the meantime we were trying to have a serious conversation for once, and then my friend's labradorite bracelet snaps and breaks, sending labradorite balls everywhere. We never tried to talk seriously again after that. Lo and behold the lady from earlier comes over to our table, introduces herself as JUDY, and starts talking about wine. My friend and I could barely hold back from exploding into hollering laughter, so we went outside for a cigarette afterwards. That's where the waiter finds us again and gives us 2 shots on the house. At this point it's like the universe is conspiring to get us drunk. So we paid and left to meet our friend for her quiz night, but we were already quite tipsy so we could not stop laughing like hyenas during the quiz & intermission. But we did help our friend grade the papers and calculate total points. And we had 2 more glasses of rosé 💀 bold of us! Some ppl actually came up to us and were like "sorry we just wanna say we love your vibes and were hoping you'll stay for karaoke" my man I am focusing on putting one foot in front of the other! But thank you sincerely for the offer ❤️ and it was none other but the "eraserhead haircut" guy that my friend pointed out to me and made me slide under the table with laughter. Anyway, yesterday I was all hungover and could barely work but today I'm better and looking forward to resting and chilling during the weekend. And I might go visit my parents at their new house soon! So very excited about that 💜

[remcycl333]

I got my first few (desired) results through states!

Basically, I’ve known about law of assumption for around a year now officially but I’ve known the idea and concept of it through subliminals for around 2 or 3.

I was never able to manifest anything I wanted but I never gave up on the law since I was desperate. I would affirm 24/7, listen to subliminals but all from a state of lack. I knew that I needed to assume that I already had it but it felt too hard so I just attempted to delude myself. I also kept the mindest from when I believed in Law of Attraction.

Eventually when I got into loa communities through twitter, tumblr, Reddit etc I thought the idea of states was stupid. I would ignore anything having to do with it since for so long since I believed you NEEDED to affirm, visualize, wtv to get results. I never understood it nor tried to understand it.

But it all changed when I came across your posts a few days ago, I saw states in a whole different light and it finally made sense to me and I felt a sort of relief/excitement, like when you don’t understand a math problem for so long and you finally get it and feel so happy. I tried it out and of course the law never fails.

The first time I really didn’t want to go to school and I just assumed that I didn’t have to go and I didn’t! It doesn’t seem that cool but I literally skipped a whole week of school prior for being sick and there was no real reason for me to not go and my mom all of a sudden offered to let me skip. I refused her offer out of guilt all of a sudden but then all of a sudden the bus’s were all delayed and mixed up so I missed the bus and ended up staying home :). I did the same thing the next day for this after school religious program me and my siblings do and OF COURSE the law never failed me and I didn’t have to go (which is even more insane than the school one because my parents are like super duper religious).

My last and fav result is getting rid of my period 🤭! Basically yesterday I woke up and obviously saw a little blood since it was supposed to be the day I get my period. Since I really didn’t want it I remembered using states and told myself “I don’t have my period” and also asked my self “if I didn’t have my period, how would I feel” let myself relish in the thought and continued my day. I didn’t even put a pad on “just incase” since I KNEW the law would never betray me. Now guess who’s typing this on my second day where I would normally be popping pills while sobbing from cramps happy and normal :D.

In conclusion I hope this post can motivate someone out there and you will probably see me again with results talking about my desired face and how I’m a billionaire now 🫡 I mean I was literally able to manifest not having a biological thing literally GAZILLIONS of all female that’s ever existed have gotten I can do anything :) and so can you!

omg love!!! i lovee manifesting my period away too!

i’m so happy i was able to help you and i CANT WAIT to read more of your success stories !! 🤍🫶🏻🤍