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thedivinefish · 1 year ago

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TGIWednesday: do you get that?

TGIWednesday News

I have known my RN friend who works with hospice patients for decades. She has contributed to dictation and wordsmithing several of our audio MP3’s and their word tracks. She is someone I can rely on to give me an honest opinion (whether I like it or not is another question!) We won’t hesitate to call each other and without saying hello or good morning, we’ll launch right in to “Do you get that………….” Fill in the blank here. When a particular patient will pass, if it will rain, if she should buy this car or that or travel to Tucson or Vail. It is reassuring to bounce ideas off of another intuitive who can be unbiased in their response. My mentor used to say that muscle testing, applied kinesiology, finger testing, pendulums are not infallible, but more accurate than anything else we’re aware of right now. Run with that. Practice and be proactive in playing in the field of all that is and the outcomes might surprise and delight you more so than leaving life to random chaotic chances. Keep the faith in it all moving forward and just keep fishing! **Reminder - our monthly Zoom event is only 1 week away. The topic is releasing the evil effects of the unseen world. LInk to pre-register for $22 is below.

Need a one-on-one session? You can get on my schedule most times within 72 hours - take a look and book! Appointments View Calendar First, Then Pay and Schedule 15 mins | 30 mins | 60 mins

TGIWednesday Video Download

~ TRUSTING THE PROCESS ~ I believe, think, know and feel that I can trust the process of life and the unfolding of outcomes and I see and experience them in my favor here and now. I am ready, willing and able to let go and let live and come to terms with being in allowance of what will be and making the very best of all situations. I know when, where, how and why to accept those things that I cannot change and the courage and wisdom to keep on keeping on contributing to others along the way. I am asking in all languages and throughout all timelines and so it is. Know that if you’ll make a little daily progress, the rest of your life can be the best of your life!

October's LIVE Zoom Event

WEDNESDAY OCTOBER 25TH 7:30PM ET/ 5:30 CT/ 4:30 PT (30 mins) Pre-register at Calendly for $22 (includes reminders and REPLAY) ??https://calendly.com/jmh-calls/october-zoom-2023

THEME: Releasing the evil effects of the unseen world. We will touch on any negative energies affecting you, a loved one and the world! 5G, Wifi, chem trails, pure evil energies, Weather fears, future fears of the unknown and the dark side of halloween!

Submit one brief sentence for each after payment and please email [email protected]

1) For myself: I would like to be relieved of the haunting feeling/fear caused by_____ (5G, wireless, reversed polarity, being ungrounded, my ex partner, my past, my fear of the future)

2) For my loved one: I would like to see them released from______ (pain of a health challenge, mental health causes, an upcoming test that they have to pass, addiction to…..)

3) For the world: I would like to see our planet Earth unincumbered by _____ (catastrophic weather, global warming, over harvesting, air/water/ground polution, evil manipulative/ignorant/greedy human agendas …)

Join us as we collectively release the negative, dark and heavy energies and exchange them for positive, light and flowing loving energies

It's as simple as filling in the blanks above after submitting your payment of 22$ US. You will receive BOTH the video and audio replay links with purchase.

Pre-register now - just $22

October Featured Discounts

Let's turn a spooky Friday the 13th into something more magical and lucky, and instead of tricks let's offer everyone we know a treat!!! Even if it's a kind word or gesture, we can always celebrate this time of year and the bountiful Fall. In doing our part towards helping and contributing to others, please find the following audio MP3s on sale this month and don't forget to join us for our monthly Zoom call (all links below). FEATURED PRODUCTS ON SALE NOW 20% OFF FOR MONTH OF OCTOBER ?? MyBeliefWorks for Releasing Dark Energy, Fear and Negativity Was $57 / Now $46 ?? Clearing the Blocks of Evil, Entities and Dark Alien Energy and ?? Clearing Switches for Themes of Dark Energy and Fears Was $27 / Now $22

FREE Live Appearances

The Quantum Shift Academy 14 with host Helena Riley Unleash Your Potential Through Sound Frequencies & Quantum Field Mastery The Quantum Shift Academy offers a unique opportunity to break free from the confines of old emotional patterns, discover harmony in every facet of your life, and seamlessly connect with the infinite possibilities of the quantum field. ?? Free to Register - JOIN US HERE!

also this month... You Wealth Revolution Season 26 with host Darius Barazandeh Halloween Wednesday October 31st at 4pm Eastern

Watch and listen to hundreds of Radio Show replays for FREE here in the archives from the Jimmy Mack Healing Radio show.

https://thejimmymackhealingshow.com/

Fish Food

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell the Fish - 365 Daily Inspirations and Affirmations - by Jimmy Mack Own this e-book so that you can read inspiration every day!

OCTOBER 18TH "Today I will concentrate on this life and move it forward. I will summon with all my might all the lessons innately that I know and even the ones I may not readily recall right now in order to move it all down the football field of life. I will push on."

From the Fish Box

DAILY PRAYER TESTIMONIAL

Jimmy helps me shift from using massive amounts of energy to decide on the right way to work, on what's important ...and helps me shift any of the old patterns or energy that gets in the way of me moving forward to continue creating my best life. He's swift, on-point, and cuts through the fog to get clear on what's needed right here and right now. Cheers Jimmy for another really fruitful, helpful session." - Mel / UK

Receive 24/7 Prayers from Jimmy

Your name will be added to a special VIP Prayer list where Jimmy will use his intelligent computer software, src4you which runs 24/7, to delete the negative and increase the strength of the positive creating a higher probability of favorable outcomes for you.

In addition, throughout the full 30-days, Jimmy will be dialing into your energetic signature each day upon rising and make certain that you are a clear yes, unclear to no and running forward before you start your day. He is doing the heavy lifting for you around 3am NY time while most of you are asleep in order to smooth out your way and increase your most favorable life outcomes.

*Upon sending an email request after your purchase, you can receive a one-time sample/example of the software analysis. Most clients have had amazing results and outcomes!

You can add yourself and those living in your immediate household and yes you can include pets! Merely include everyone’s names and Jimmy will add them to his daily prayers.

You can run this monthly and stop at any time after the 30 days is up, you will have the opportunity to renew and update your list each month but are under no obligation. I believe you will experience magical transformations and make progress every day! SUBSCRIPTION AUTO-RENEWAL ($95/mo - save $5) Purchase a recurring subscription Update your prayers monthly. You can cancel or pause anytime.

Use PayPal for subscription Click here Use Stripe for subscription Click here. Could you use a private session? Are you feeling extra-crispy? If so, you can now Book Appointments... View Availability First, Then Pay 15 mins | 30 mins | 60 mins

30-Days of Prayer - $99

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

?Visit our ?NEW O?nline ?TRAININ?G? CENTER

We have finally completed the migration of the Mastery & Practitioner Certification Courses and are now opening up the BRAND NEW ONLINE TRAINING CENTER! All are welcome to create a FREE account to access the NEW and IMPROVED MLF Basic Training Course and also know that the Anchors Away, Masterclass and both Mastery & Practitioner courses have been UPGRADED with new information & lessons!

Visit now, Click Here!

The Fish Market

Below is list of over 35 titles in the MyBeliefWorks Clearings audio series, monthly Zoom clearing call replays and Guided Energy Processess. Find a topic that addresses your issue(s), click on the link to read more. We had a lot of help downloading & channeling these over the years & they keep getting better and we are ALWAYS working on the next one. Don’t forget… you can share these with your immediate friends and family.

Freedom from Abuse Overcoming Addiction Receiving Abundance Body Scan: Head to Toe Healing Bountiful Harvest Igniting Creative Spark Discovering Your Destiny Daily GPS Reset ?? 20% OFF Releasing Dark Energies/Fears Crossroads -Decision Making Diet & Exercise Support Education & Learning Support Empowering the Empath Enthusiasm for Life Financial Windfall Gold Coin: Money in All Forms Healing Family Relationships Healing Body Disorders High Cotton Abundance Joy of Money

IRS Stress & Taxes Relieving Holiday Stress Increasing Intuition Lucky 777 Finding Love & Romance Mental Stress Positive Money Mindset Moving Forward from Past Chronic Pain Relief Pet Healing Support Improving Sales & Success Improving Sex Improving Sleep Pro$perity Unlocked Traveling with Ease Treasure Chest Work & Career Success Weight Loss Support Restoring Youth & Vitality

We now offer digital Gift Certificates for gift-giving. Gift a free session, daily prayers or clearing audios/videos to someone special. You simply select the denomination that matches the gift you'd like to give from the options on this page amounts from $19 - $225.

Buy Gift Certificates here

View Full Zoom Replay Collection 20% OFF Dark Energies Replays The 5 Anchors Process The Purple Rain Process The Magical Golden Key

Healing and Grounding Mats for all occasions Yes even Lily my cat uses the pet one! View Grounding Mats here Use code: MyLiquidFishfs for Free Shipping

**We are NOT involved in the sales or shipping process of the 3rd party items, please contact them directly.

TGIFunny

Forward

Jimmy Mack | Appointments ???Transformational Healing of Body, Mind? & Spirit, People, Places, Pets & Situations!? ? View Availability First, Then Pay 15 mins | 30 mins | 60 mins Search FAQ Create Your FREE MEMBERS Account Clearing Audio Downloads? and eBooks Get Certified in MLF Mastery or Practitioner Watch Free Videos on YouTube Radio Show Archives Healing and Grounding Mats ...enter code: MyLiquidFishfs at checkout for Free shipping! http://www.jimmymackhealingshop.com www.jimmymackhealing.com Copyright ©1998-2023 All Rights Reserved

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divinefishingtips · 1 year ago

Text

TGIWednesday: do you get that?

TGIWednesday News

Need a one-on-one session? You can get on my schedule most times within 72 hours - take a look and book! Appointments View Calendar First, Then Pay and Schedule 15 mins | 30 mins | 60 mins

TGIWednesday Video Download

October's LIVE Zoom Event

WEDNESDAY OCTOBER 25TH 7:30PM ET/ 5:30 CT/ 4:30 PT (30 mins) Pre-register at Calendly for $22 (includes reminders and REPLAY) ??https://calendly.com/jmh-calls/october-zoom-2023

Submit one brief sentence for each after payment and please email [email protected]

1) For myself: I would like to be relieved of the haunting feeling/fear caused by_____ (5G, wireless, reversed polarity, being ungrounded, my ex partner, my past, my fear of the future)

2) For my loved one: I would like to see them released from______ (pain of a health challenge, mental health causes, an upcoming test that they have to pass, addiction to…..)

Join us as we collectively release the negative, dark and heavy energies and exchange them for positive, light and flowing loving energies

It's as simple as filling in the blanks above after submitting your payment of 22$ US. You will receive BOTH the video and audio replay links with purchase.

Pre-register now - just $22

October Featured Discounts

FREE Live Appearances

also this month... You Wealth Revolution Season 26 with host Darius Barazandeh Halloween Wednesday October 31st at 4pm Eastern

Watch and listen to hundreds of Radio Show replays for FREE here in the archives from the Jimmy Mack Healing Radio show.

https://thejimmymackhealingshow.com/

Fish Food

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell the Fish - 365 Daily Inspirations and Affirmations - by Jimmy Mack Own this e-book so that you can read inspiration every day!

From the Fish Box

DAILY PRAYER TESTIMONIAL

Receive 24/7 Prayers from Jimmy

*Upon sending an email request after your purchase, you can receive a one-time sample/example of the software analysis. Most clients have had amazing results and outcomes!

You can add yourself and those living in your immediate household and yes you can include pets! Merely include everyone’s names and Jimmy will add them to his daily prayers.

30-Days of Prayer - $99

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

?Visit our ?NEW O?nline ?TRAININ?G? CENTER

Visit now, Click Here!

The Fish Market

Buy Gift Certificates here

View Full Zoom Replay Collection 20% OFF Dark Energies Replays The 5 Anchors Process The Purple Rain Process The Magical Golden Key

Healing and Grounding Mats for all occasions Yes even Lily my cat uses the pet one! View Grounding Mats here Use code: MyLiquidFishfs for Free Shipping

**We are NOT involved in the sales or shipping process of the 3rd party items, please contact them directly.

TGIFunny

Forward

0 notes

365dailyaffirmations · 1 year ago

Text

TGIWednesday: do you get that?

TGIWednesday News

Need a one-on-one session? You can get on my schedule most times within 72 hours - take a look and book! Appointments View Calendar First, Then Pay and Schedule 15 mins | 30 mins | 60 mins

TGIWednesday Video Download

October's LIVE Zoom Event

WEDNESDAY OCTOBER 25TH 7:30PM ET/ 5:30 CT/ 4:30 PT (30 mins) Pre-register at Calendly for $22 (includes reminders and REPLAY) ??https://calendly.com/jmh-calls/october-zoom-2023

Submit one brief sentence for each after payment and please email [email protected]

1) For myself: I would like to be relieved of the haunting feeling/fear caused by_____ (5G, wireless, reversed polarity, being ungrounded, my ex partner, my past, my fear of the future)

2) For my loved one: I would like to see them released from______ (pain of a health challenge, mental health causes, an upcoming test that they have to pass, addiction to…..)

Join us as we collectively release the negative, dark and heavy energies and exchange them for positive, light and flowing loving energies

It's as simple as filling in the blanks above after submitting your payment of 22$ US. You will receive BOTH the video and audio replay links with purchase.

Pre-register now - just $22

October Featured Discounts

FREE Live Appearances

also this month... You Wealth Revolution Season 26 with host Darius Barazandeh Halloween Wednesday October 31st at 4pm Eastern

Watch and listen to hundreds of Radio Show replays for FREE here in the archives from the Jimmy Mack Healing Radio show.

https://thejimmymackhealingshow.com/

Fish Food

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell the Fish - 365 Daily Inspirations and Affirmations - by Jimmy Mack Own this e-book so that you can read inspiration every day!

From the Fish Box

DAILY PRAYER TESTIMONIAL

Receive 24/7 Prayers from Jimmy

*Upon sending an email request after your purchase, you can receive a one-time sample/example of the software analysis. Most clients have had amazing results and outcomes!

You can add yourself and those living in your immediate household and yes you can include pets! Merely include everyone’s names and Jimmy will add them to his daily prayers.

30-Days of Prayer - $99

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

?Visit our ?NEW O?nline ?TRAININ?G? CENTER

Visit now, Click Here!

The Fish Market

Buy Gift Certificates here

View Full Zoom Replay Collection 20% OFF Dark Energies Replays The 5 Anchors Process The Purple Rain Process The Magical Golden Key

Healing and Grounding Mats for all occasions Yes even Lily my cat uses the pet one! View Grounding Mats here Use code: MyLiquidFishfs for Free Shipping

**We are NOT involved in the sales or shipping process of the 3rd party items, please contact them directly.

TGIFunny

Forward

0 notes

advancedthetapractitioner · 1 year ago

Text

TGIWednesday: do you get that?

TGIWednesday News

Need a one-on-one session? You can get on my schedule most times within 72 hours - take a look and book! Appointments View Calendar First, Then Pay and Schedule 15 mins | 30 mins | 60 mins

TGIWednesday Video Download

October's LIVE Zoom Event

WEDNESDAY OCTOBER 25TH 7:30PM ET/ 5:30 CT/ 4:30 PT (30 mins) Pre-register at Calendly for $22 (includes reminders and REPLAY) ??https://calendly.com/jmh-calls/october-zoom-2023

Submit one brief sentence for each after payment and please email [email protected]

1) For myself: I would like to be relieved of the haunting feeling/fear caused by_____ (5G, wireless, reversed polarity, being ungrounded, my ex partner, my past, my fear of the future)

2) For my loved one: I would like to see them released from______ (pain of a health challenge, mental health causes, an upcoming test that they have to pass, addiction to…..)

Join us as we collectively release the negative, dark and heavy energies and exchange them for positive, light and flowing loving energies

It's as simple as filling in the blanks above after submitting your payment of 22$ US. You will receive BOTH the video and audio replay links with purchase.

Pre-register now - just $22

October Featured Discounts

FREE Live Appearances

also this month... You Wealth Revolution Season 26 with host Darius Barazandeh Halloween Wednesday October 31st at 4pm Eastern

Watch and listen to hundreds of Radio Show replays for FREE here in the archives from the Jimmy Mack Healing Radio show.

https://thejimmymackhealingshow.com/

Fish Food

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell the Fish - 365 Daily Inspirations and Affirmations - by Jimmy Mack Own this e-book so that you can read inspiration every day!

From the Fish Box

DAILY PRAYER TESTIMONIAL

Receive 24/7 Prayers from Jimmy

*Upon sending an email request after your purchase, you can receive a one-time sample/example of the software analysis. Most clients have had amazing results and outcomes!

You can add yourself and those living in your immediate household and yes you can include pets! Merely include everyone’s names and Jimmy will add them to his daily prayers.

30-Days of Prayer - $99

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

?Visit our ?NEW O?nline ?TRAININ?G? CENTER

Visit now, Click Here!

The Fish Market

Buy Gift Certificates here

View Full Zoom Replay Collection 20% OFF Dark Energies Replays The 5 Anchors Process The Purple Rain Process The Magical Golden Key

Healing and Grounding Mats for all occasions Yes even Lily my cat uses the pet one! View Grounding Mats here Use code: MyLiquidFishfs for Free Shipping

**We are NOT involved in the sales or shipping process of the 3rd party items, please contact them directly.

TGIFunny

Forward

0 notes

the-shoemaker-report · 2 years ago

Text

How the World of Truth will Emerge

The time was early February 1981. The location was the Roosevelt Room in the West Wing of the White House, not far from the Cabinet Room. President Ronald Reagan asked William Casey, the newly-appointed Director of the CIA, what he considered was his primary role as head of that agency. Barbara Honegger, assistant to the Chief Domestic Policy Advisor to the President, was in attendance. She reported Casey’s response: “We’ll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false.”

If you’re like most people, your decision whether or not to accept this anecdote as factual will probably not reflect a careful and unbiased assessment of the available evidence. Rather, it will be based on your gut feeling, shaped by your perspective of the CIA and other government intelligent agencies whether in the USA, Israel or elsewhere. At one end of the spectrum, you might be thinking something like, “That makes no sense. Why would the head of a major government agency say that his agency’s mission was to spread disinformation among its own citizens? Whoever believes that nonsense probably also believes in all kinds of crazy conspiracy theories.” At the other end of the spectrum, you might be thinking, “Why wouldn’t I believe it? Have they ever told the truth?”

Trust in traditional media is at an all time low, and so alternative media abound. Someone says one thing; someone else says another thing. Even if we try to stay somewhat informed about what’s going on in the world, it can be very confusing. How can we possibly know what is factual and what is not? It is as the prophet wrote (Yeshayah 59:14-15): כִּי־כָשְׁלָה בָרְחוֹב אֱמֶת...וַתְּהִי הָאֱמֶת נֶעְדֶּרֶת (For truth has stumbled in the street…and truth is absent). Most of us approach the news (if we approach it at all) like someone at a buffet—“I’ll have a little of this and a little of that.” Whatever agrees with us, we accept; whatever doesn’t, we dismiss or ignore. That may not be particularly objective, but if we’re honest with ourselves, that’s what most of us do most of the time. To seek out the truth of a matter of which we have no direct knowledge is just too difficult and too time-consuming. Long gone from our public discourse are the lofty ideas described in John Henry Newman’s 1859 work The Idea of a University, “It [education] teaches him to see things as they are, to go right to the point, to disentangle a skein of thought, to detect what is sophistical and to discard what is irrelevant.” Rather, we live in a time perhaps best described by Norwegian playwright Henrik Ibsen, “The majority is always wrong; the minority is rarely right.”

If there ever was a time in human history when we need to recognize falsehood and acknowledge truth, it is undoubtedly now. However, we don’t pull the strings of global media. We do not grace the hallways and inner chambers of power and government. We are simple people with simple goals. What can we actually do? Aren’t we powerless to effect positive change?

Let us start by acknowledging one immutable truth (Michah 7:20): תִּתֵּן אֱמֶת לְיַעֲקֹב (You give truth to Yaakov). This is not a description of a one-time historical event at Mt. Sinai no matter how lofty that event was, but rather a statement describing an ongoing process in which Hashem reveals and shows the Jewish people truth. So we of all people should know truth and not be fooled by falsehood. But it is not always easy, as the Gemara teaches (Shabbat 104a): מַאי טַעְמָא שֶׁקֶר מְקָרְבָן מִילֵּיהּ אֱמֶת מְרַחֲקָא מִילֵּיהּ שִׁיקְרָא שְׁכִיחַ קוּשְׁטָא לָא שְׁכִיחַ וּמַאי טַעְמָא שִׁיקְרָא אַחֲדָא כַּרְעֵיהּ קָאֵי וֶאֱמֶת מְלַבַּן לַבּוֹנֵי קוּשְׁטָא קָאֵי שִׁיקְרָא לָא קָאֵי (Why are the letters in the word sheker [falsehood] adjacent to each other while the letters in emet [truth] far apart? It is because falsehood is found, i.e. it is common, whereas truth is not found. And why do all the letters of sheker stand on one foot whereas the letters for emet stand like bricks? It is because emet stands, i.e. endures, whereas sheker cannot stand). We could add a third question. Why are the letters in sheker not in order, whereas the letters in emet, even though they are far apart from each other to encompass the whole aleph-bet, are in order? For sheker to exist, the natural order of the world must be mixed up or put into confusion, whereas emet is in line with the natural order of the created world.

Assembling emet is not a simple process. One needs to find an aleph [א] over here and then a mem [מ] over there and then put them together in the right order with a tav [ת] found way over there on the other side of the world. Difficult as this process may be, once assembled, the resulting entity is stable and enduring. Sheker, on the other hand, is right in front of our faces. We don’t need to expend any effort to find it. It is ubiquitous and pervasive. But since it’s all mixed up and unstable, it will topple over. It’s inevitable. It’s just a matter of time. The only question is, when?

It is taught in a Mishnah (Eduyot 8:7): אָמַר רַבִּי יְהוֹשֻׁעַ מְקֻבָּל אֲנִי מֵרַבָּן יוֹחָנָן בֶּן זַכַּאי שֶׁשָּׁמַע מֵרַבּוֹ וְרַבּוֹ מֵרַבּוֹ הֲלָכָה לְמשֶׁה מִסִּינַי שֶׁאֵין אֵלִיָּהוּ בָא לְטַמֵּא וּלְטַהֵר לְרַחֵק וּלְקָרֵב אֶלָּא לְרַחֵק הַמְקֹרָבִין בִּזְרוֹעַ וּלְקָרֵב הַמְרֻחָקִין בִּזְרוֹעַ (R' Yehoshua said, I received a tradition from Rabban Yochanan ben Zakkai, who heard it from his teacher, and his teacher from his teacher, a halachah of Moshe from Sinai, that Eliyahu does not come to declare impure or pure, or to distance or bring near, rather to distance that which was brought near through force and to bring near that which was distanced through force). As explained by R' Nachman (Likutei Moharan 117): וְזֶה לְרַחֵק הַמְקֹרָבִין וּלְקָרֵב הַמְרֻחָקִין הַיְנוּ לְרַחֵק הַשֶּׁקֶר וּלְקָרֵב הָאֱמֶת כִּי אָמְרוּ רַבּוֹתֵינוּ זִכְרוֹנָם לִבְרָכָה שֶׁקֶר מְקָרְבִין מִלֵּהּ וֶאֱמֶת מְרַחֲקִין מִלֵּהּ (And this, to distance that which was brought near and to bring near that which was distanced, means to distance the sheker and to bring near the emet, as our Sages, may their memory be for a blessing, said [Shabbat 104a], The letters of the word sheker are close together, and the letters of the word emet are far apart).

But what’s the meaning of sheker having been brought near through force? It means that sheker masquerading as emet has been forced upon us without our knowledge, typically by nefarious individuals or organizations to serve private or hidden agendas. And what is the meaning of emet being distanced through force? It means that emet has being forcibly pushed off into a corner (when it does not serve those same agendas), well out of the consciousness of the average citizen. This tactic is utilized when it becomes difficult to refute emet with any kind of reasonable argument and evidence—at which point, it is typically ignored, belittled or buried.

To illustrate what we have just stated, we shall briefly mention two examples. For an example of sheker being brought near, consider the so-called Gulf of Tonkin incident of August 4, 1964 which President Lyndon B. Johnson seized upon to pressure Congress to pass a resolution giving the US government carte blanche approval to engage more directly in the Vietnam War. Johnson went on national television to inform the American people that he had ordered an escalation of American involvement against North Vietnam due to a coordinated attack by North Vietnamese torpedo boats against two US destroyers. The only problem was that the alleged attack never took place—a total fabrication which led to nearly 10 years of American involvement in the Vietnam War with more than 3 million Vietnamese and 58,000 American soldiers killed. For an example of emet being sidelined, consider the way traditional media has treated the stunning revelations of Pulitzer Prize-winning investigative journalist Seymour Hersh after he laid out in detail the masterminding and bombing of Russian’s Nord Stream natural gas pipelines on September 26, 2022—they have remained silent, doing their best to ignore his reports.

It is written (Mishlei 12:19): שְׂפַת־אֱמֶת תִּכּוֹן לָעַד וְעַד־אַרְגִּיעָה לְשׁוֹן שָׁקֶר (The lip of emet will be established forever, but the lip of sheker for a moment [argi’ah]). On the surface, this means that from the moment sheker is spoken it appears as emet to many; however, after a while, given enough time, it becomes clear that it was, in fact, sheker. But if we look at this verse more closely, we notice something a little odd, as the Zohar ha-Kadosh brings out (Ki Tisa 188a): וְעַד אַרְגִּיעָה וְעַד רֶגַע מִבָּעֵי לֵיהּ מַאי אַרְגִּיעָה אֶלָּא עַד כַּמָה יְהֵא קִיוּמָא דִּלְהוֹן בְּעָלְמָא עַד זִמְנָא דְּיֵיתֵי (Ad argi’ah? It should say ad rega, i.e. for a moment. What is the meaning of argi’ah? Rather, when will these things, i.e. the oneness of Hashem and the global influence of the Jewish people’s voice (that were mentioned just prior to this passage in the Zohar), be established in the world? When he, i.e. Mashiach, comes). In other words, if the meaning of this verse is merely to teach that the lip of sheker will only endure for a moment, then the verse should have used the normal word for ‘moment’, i.e. rega, not the unusual word argi’ah. What’s the secret behind this unexpected word? The word ארגעה [argi’ah] is not based on the word רגע [rega], meaning moment, but on the word מרגוע [margo’ah] meaning repose, calmness or rest. It’s not that sheker will last only for a moment, but rather that sheker will cease its influence in this world only when true rest—Shabbat menuchah, world peace—replaces the cultures of this world.

Yes, we live in a world of sheker, but the age of Mashiach is coming, and it is a world of emet. As the first Ashkenazi Chief Rabbi of Israel, R' Avraham Yitzchak Kook, famously said, “Before the world of truth can come, the world of lies must disappear.” But how does the world of sheker disappear? By force of arms, protests in the streets, threats of violence and riots? No, these things just continue the rulership of sheker. Sheker will disappear on its own and emet will come out of exile when we habituate ourselves to speak only emet, as we say each morning: לְעוֹלָם יְהֵא אָדָם יְרֵא שָׁמַיִם בַּסֵּתֶר וּבַגָּלוּי וּמוֹדֶה עַל הָאֱמֶת וְדוֹבֵר אֱמֶת בִּלְבָבוֹ (A person should always be in fear of Heaven, privately as well as openly, and he should acknowledge emet and speak emet in his heart). Just reciting this prayer isn’t sufficient; we have to do it. We must speak only emet and be honest and truthful to ourselves, even when it means facing those things about ourselves that we��d rather just ignore.

We often see the principle of middah k’neged middah as our nemesis, but this is incorrect. It is really our ally, and we can use it to cause positive change in the world. If we really yearn to hear only emet from others—and that includes from our governments and from government-controlled sources of disinformation— then we need to speak only emet to others and to ourselves. This is the meaning of R' Nachman’s teaching in Likutei Eitzot (Emet v’Emunah 25-26): הָאֱמֶת הוּא אֶחָד וְהַשֶּׁקֶר הוּא הַרְבֵּה...תִּשְׁמֹר אֶת עַצְמְךָ מִשֶּׁקֶר וּתְדַבֵּר רַק אֱמֶת וְתִהְיֶה אִישׁ אֱמֶת לַאֲמִתּוֹ וְעַל־יְדֵי זֶה תִּהְיֶה נִכְלָל בְּאֶחָד כַּנַּ"ל כִּי אֱמֶת הוּא אֶחָד (There is only one emet but a multitude of sheker…Guard yourself from sheker and speak only emet, and you’ll truly become a man of emet, and through this you will be included in the ‘One’ because emet is ‘one’).

The good news is that the world of sheker is collapsing before our very eyes. If we strengthen our resolve now to speak only emet, this momentum will only accelerate. As David ha-Melech said (Tehillim 117:2): וֶאֱמֶת־יְָי לְעוֹלָם (And Hashem’s emet is eternal).

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synesindri · 3 years ago

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Survey Writing Guide: Fandom Edition

Sooo! People are collecting survey data on fandom! Makes sense — fandom is an interesting population to study, and getting data on attitudes/behaviors/etc is a great way to try to find out the truth about popular points of contention about media. To get unbiased, meaningful data, though, you’ll want to make sure your survey is in good shape. This is a guide to try to help you do that.

I am assuming, if you are reading this, that you want your survey to be unbiased and interpretable, sampling from as many viewpoints as possible and getting data on opinions you might agree and disagree with. In other words, I am assuming that you want to do your fandom research in good faith. If that is not why you are making a fandom survey, then you can ignore this whole post. I would ask you to reconsider running a bad-faith fandom survey, but I can’t stop you. But just know that my assumption is that you’re out here in the honest pursuit of truth.

I’m not accusing a survey of being done in bad faith if it doesn’t follow my suggestions. I also realize most people are conducting these surveys in their spare time because they’re passionate & curious, not for the purpose of serious publication or whatever. I’m not telling you that you have to follow all or even any of the advice here. Do what you feel good about doing. Fandom should be fun!

This guide is only about surveys themselves, and will not help you get a good sample of your fandom. In other words, none of this advice will make sure your survey reaches obscure corners of your fandom, insular communities you aren’t in, or casual fans. A good survey is important, but it’s only one part of getting accurate data, and participation recruitment is a whole other thing.

This is also only intended to help with survey setup, not analysis or results reporting. You can write a great, unbiased, easy to understand survey, and still present your results in a way that is biased/doesn’t include good information/is hard to understand. Furthermore, once your results are public, they’re out of your hands: you might be well-meaning, but please keep in mind that some people might use your data to make unfair or incorrect assumptions about others, support biased arguments, or generally behave unpleasantly. That’s just part of survey work; don’t let it stop you, but don’t be surprised if/when it happens.

Now, onto the survey tips ~

Think about how to structure your questions

Use multiple choice answers/avoid free response answers as much as possible. This is going to be really helpful for you when it’s time to analyze your data: it’s so much easier to analyze responses that are just clicks of a box than responses that require you to read someone’s long explanation of an opinion and try to figure out what they mean. It also makes answering easier on your participants: clicking a box is a lot easier for them than writing out what they think. Giving an option for them to expand on their answer in a free response text box is great, but try to capture as many possible responses as you can in multiple choice questions.

Consider: should participants be able to give more than one response per question? A good rule of thumb for this is if different responses to a question are mutually exclusive or not: if they are mutually exclusive, only give people the option of clicking one box; if they’re not, let them choose as many as they want. For example, if you want to know somebody’s ONE favorite season of a show, only let them choose one season. If you want to know ALL the seasons they like, give them the option to choose multiple.

Only include one question per question

A LOT of surveys ask questions that are actually several questions in one, and that makes answering them difficult! For example, you might THINK you’re only asking one thing if you say “Are you introverted or shy?” as a yes/no question, but that is actually two questions: some people are introverted but not shy; some people are shy but not introverted; some people are both introverted and shy, and some people are neither. People who respond “yes” might mean they are one or the other or both, and people who respond “no” might mean they are one or the other or neither — and you’ll have no way of knowing, because your question was too ambiguous.

If you’re asking a question about a nuanced topic, make sure your question and possible responses are nuanced too

People in fandom have a lot of complex views, and giving them only a black-and-white way to tell you about those views means you will miss out on nuance and get inaccurate results. If you are wondering about opinions on a controversial pairing, asking “Do you think it’s okay to ship Reylo?” (for example) and only letting people respond yes or no is not going to capture the range of opinions that exist on Reylo. If you can include multiple answer boxes for people to click, do that!

Analyzing free response data (where people can write their own answer) is hard on you, as the survey writer, and people might not feel like explaining their opinions. Definitely include a free response box if you want, but also provide a lot of options for responses.

The more controversial the topic you’re asking about, the more nuance you should let your participants give in their responses. People in fandom often have very strong and very complex opinions about certain issues; you’ll want to make sure not to flatten those opinions too much, while still keeping them simple enough to analyze. Asking “do you enjoy reading fluff?” is (probably) not going to be too complicated, and you’ll likely be fine giving people 2-3 response options (yes/always, sometimes, no/never). But you should give a lot more response options if you’re asking “is it ever acceptable to ship two siblings together?”: some people will be fine with “yes, always” or “no, never,” but a LOT of people are going to want to specify conditions like “only if they are not blood relatives” or “only if it is framed as being bad” or “it’s acceptable sometimes but I personally avoid it,” etc. Make sure people without clear-cut opinions have the ability to give you their opinions too.

Use simple, clear language

Use language that is as simple and precise as possible. Keep questions short when you can. Avoid using a lot of slang and regional idioms: people come from all over the place in fandom, and might not know what you mean. People also have a lot of different reading levels: you want to make sure most of your participants can understand what you’re asking them.

There are some terms you can assume everyone in your sample will know, and some that you can’t: it’s up to you to figure out which terms are which. For example, most people in tumblr fandom space will understand what a ship is. They might not know what “IC” means though, so you might need to write it out as “in character.” Further, pretty much everyone in the MCU fandom might know what “Stucky” is, but not as many will know what “Coulwhip” is. You can make these kinds of technical terms easier for people to understand by just writing out all abbreviations and writing all pairings in the Name/Name format.

Use neutral language and keep your personal opinions out of it

Avoid inserting your own opinions into your survey, even if you expect that almost everyone participating will agree with you. Even “obvious” jokes won’t read as jokes to everyone; you might upset/offend/put off some group of participants disproportionately such that they won’t complete the survey, and you’ll miss a chunk of data you want. This is a problem, because say, for example, you really want to know if people’s favorite Supernatural ship has any correlation to fans’ personality traits — but if you poked fun at Dean somewhere else in your survey in a way that made Dean fans click off the page, then you’re going to lose a lot of Dean fan data that it would have been really useful for you to have, since Dean is a very popular character to ship with a lot of other characters.

A good-faith survey is also not the place to moralize. Fandom can be a very polarized place; you are not going to be able to predict which things you ask about are going to be morally objectionable to your participants, and if they’re going to agree with your moral judgments. Your results might surprise you! A survey where you hope to get accurate data is not the place to defend a problematic character you like or to call some group of shippers gross. Your best bet for not causing issues is to include stuff that’s controversial and to be as neutral about it as possible — for example, if you are asking about ships people like, include every reasonably popular ship (potentially excluding rarepairs/extreme rarepairs just because it’s hard to include all of those), even the ones you hate/think are harmful/whatever, and don’t comment on the goodness or badness of any of them.

Avoid “leading” questions to avoid bias

If you say, “Do you love this awesome TV show?” that’s going to be awkward to respond to for everyone whose answer is anything other than “yes.” Something like “What is your opinion of this TV show?” (with responses like: I love it, I like it, I have mixed feelings about it, I am neutral toward it, I dislike it, and I hate it) will give you a better sense of people’s genuine thoughts.

Select your multiple choice options thoughtfully

Be as egalitarian as possible in the options you provide to your fandom-specific questions that aren’t free response. If you leave out a major character on a list of favorite characters, for example, your participants are going to wonder why you did that — and you might not get data about that character, especially if you don’t include a free response option.

Avoid bias in your multiple choice answer options

If you ask people for their favorite and least favorite [something], make sure the list of [something] options for both of those questions is identical. For example, if you’re asking about people’s most liked and most disliked ships, make sure the list of ships you include for both questions is the same. Including Sylvie/Loki only on the “ship you most dislike” but not the “ship you most like” list might seem like a reasonable move to you if you don’t know anybody who (openly) likes Sylvie/Loki, but doing that will bias responses and make your data inaccurate. Some people will stop filling out the survey, some people who like Sylkie just won’t want to bother filling in the blank, some people might forget that they like Sylkie unless it’s right in front of their eyes as one of the response options, some people will feel judged and so they won’t answer your survey honestly, etc.

Follow common best practices advice for demographic information

Collecting information on respondents’ ages, genders, race/ethnicity, employment status, education history, etc is, luckily, very common, so there are a lot of standard questions about those things. I’ll just go ahead and list what I sometimes collect in my own surveys:

Age: for anonymous fandom surveys, I suggest using age groups (under 13, 13-18, 19-25, 26-35, etc) instead of asking people for their precise ages. Just make sure to include all possible age brackets. For example, don’t assume everyone in fandom is under 50.

Gender: unless you want a lot of nuance in your responses, it’s typically enough to include a list like: man/boy or male, woman/girl or female, nonbinary, genderfluid or bigender, and other. If you are interested in trans people specifically, I suggest asking that in a separate question (like: “Do you identify as transgender?”), rather than including binary trans identities in addition to binary cis identities in the same question. The exception to this is if you are including a very long list of gender options.

Race/ethnicity: (disclaimer that most of the data I collect comes from the US, so my best practices are most suited to that population. I welcome any feedback about the best way to ask about this for an international and/or non-US population.) I typically ask something like: “Which category best describes you?” and then give the options: American Indian or Native Alaskan, Asian, Black, Hispanic or Latinx, Middle Eastern or North African, Pacific Islander or Native Hawaiian, White, and other. Ideally, this list should allow multiple responses, so that multiracial/multiethnic people can give accurate reports.

Employment status: “What is your employment status?” with responses: employed full time, employed part-time, unemployed and looking for work, unemployed and not looking for work, self-employed, homemaker, student, and retired. If possible, let this be multiple choice, so that, for example, people who are students AND work can select both applicable options.

Education level: “What is your highest level of education?” with responses: some high school, high school diploma or equivalent, some college, college degree, some graduate education, Master’s degree, Doctorate degree, professional degree (e.g. M.D., J.D., M.Div, etc)

Sexual orientation: like with gender, you probably don’t need to provide a long, comprehensive list unless your survey is about sexual orientation specifically. Something like the following is probably enough to cover most of your respondents: “What is your sexual orientation?” with responses: straight/heterosexual, gay/lesbian/homosexual, bisexual, pansexual, asexual, and other.

Other questions: just try to make sure you are providing response options that will cover the majority of your participants, and include an “other” option if you’re not sure you’ve covered everything. There are a fair number of basic best practices documents for common demographics questions that you can find through Google, so if you’re not sure how to ask something, give it a quick search. You can also ask people you know who might know more about some specific demographic quality than you do to weigh in!

That’s it for now! I hope you find this helpful, either in writing your own surveys, or in evaluating surveys you are participating in!

#gonna just tag a few big fandoms i guess #supernatural #marvel #mcu #spn #star wars #game of thrones #harry potter #fandom #fandom survey #survey #resource #reference #mine #long post

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young-dumb-and-vaccinated · 3 years ago

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The Cult Girl (Hannibal x Female!Reader) pt. 7

Sorry this took so long y'all. This chapter was difficult to write. Hannibal invites Theresa for dinner and y/n finally confronts her.

Trigger warning: mentions of suicide, child sex abuse; graphic descriptions of violence; confronting an abuser; body-shaming

The stitches in your cut hadn't even dissolved before Theresa intruded on your life again. Before you stormed out, Hannibal did in fact invite her to dinner. Polite society would rule the invitation null and void after that confrontation, but Theresa felt herself exempt from the laws of politeness. Like Evangelicals or craisins, Theresa loved to insert herself where she was clearly not wanted.

Of course, you were peeved at Hannibal for upholding the invitation when she called. But you could tell he had something planned. He was intrigued by her audacity and wanted to see how far it would take her. You couldn't begrudge him professional curiosity, as you too wondered what the fuck her problem was.

In truth, you saw what he did to your grandma, and you wanted to see him do it to Theresa. You wanted her subject to the same psychological torment that she put you through. And that, you realized, was why he honored that invitation. He wanted to vindicate you. And that was the sexiest damn thing you could possibly imagine.

Theresa showed up alone. That was her first mistake.

"Thank you for having me, Dr. Lecter." Theresa greeted, shedding her long coat and dropping it to the ground. "Will [F/N] be joining us?"

"[F/N] will most certainly be joining us." Hannibal said, his voice hardening. He noticed her coat in a pile on the floor and something in his head clicked.

"I hope I'm not overdressed." Theresa tossed her hair over her shoulders.

She was. And you knew even before she showed up that she'd wear that green evening dress with the plunging neckline. It was the same one she wore to prom. She kept it as a memento all these years to memorialize the day she completely fucked you over.

She was here to make history repeat itself.

"Not all, Ms. [L/N]," Hannibal grinned, glancing at the staircase. "[F/N] is just touching up her makeup.”

“That sounds like [F/N].” Theresa laughed. “She always took the most time getting ready in the morning. And she was always the ugliest. It was quite sad, really.”

Hannibal reminded himself what he had in store for Theresa before letting himself get angry. “If you could join me in the kitchen, I could use a little help with the appetizers.”

Theresa took the bait and followed him through the threshold into the massive kitchen.

“Could I trouble you for some psychological advice, Doctor Lecter?” She said, leaning against the island.

“That depends.” He answered, though the tone of his voice connoted a firm ‘no’. “Are you going to be honest with me?”

Theresa mounted herself on top of the island and crossed her legs. “I’ve just been having quite a bit of trouble in my marriage.”

"Please get off my counter." Hannibal politely demanded. "I just sterilized it this morning."

“My husband just isn’t so excited by me anymore.” She pouted like a child. “He just doesn’t seem interested in... well, any of the things I have to offer him.”

“Have you considered the possibility that you have nothing to offer?” You said. You approached them with purpose, the skirt of your purple dress fluttering behind you. Your favorite pair of strappy heels clacked against the tile and echoed through the room with every step.

“[F/N] makes a valid point.” Hannibal agreed, taking you under his arm. “You’re an abusive narcissist, a serial adulterer, and you’re quite horrible at flirting. I certainly don’t understand what you could possibly have to offer.”

“Nice to see you again, [F/N].” Theresa said, resigned to her defeat. “I didn’t want to say anything at the wedding, but you look like you’ve gained a few pounds.”

You almost laughed. Growing up, Grandma had subjected you to every form of body-shaming known to man. Nothing Theresa could say would have any effect on you.

“Really? Because I’ve never felt better in my life.” You smiled, knowing it to be true. “Hannibal is an amazing cook. You’d probably gain weight too if you were eating so well.”

"Well, I have appearances to keep up." She refuted. "Gideon and I both have very busy schedules. Besides, he finds the kitchen more of a woman's domain."

"Unfortunate for you." Hannibal threw a dish towel over his shoulder and picked up a wine bottle by the neck. He kept his hands busy by pouring three glasses of wine. "That Gideon does not put in the time to keep you well-fed and fulfilled. Might I suggest not molesting children as a remedy?"

You snickered as he handed you a glass. You migrated to the dining table, where the trial was set to take place.

"Did you invite me here just to gang up on me?" Theresa leaned back in her chair. "Because if so, that's really mature."

"Of course not." You said, Hannibal pulling your chair out for you. You placed your napkin in your lap. "Well, maybe a little."

Theresa took a long sip of wine. "You're not going to get an apology if that's what you're after."

"Oh no." You shook your head. "I've stopped expecting basic human decency from you years ago."

"Good." Theresa huffed. "Since that's clearly what you want me to be, that's what I'll be."

"Don't give me that shit." You sighed. "I know what gaslighting is and you're not as good at it as you think."

"Y'know I never asked to be a parent figure to you and Anna." She crossed her arms.

"You may not have asked for it but you sure as hell enjoyed it." You countered, furrowing your brow. "Don't act like you weren't the dictator's right-hand man. You sucked up to grandma and always got preferential treatment."

"I was a kid." She shrugged. "You're really gonna blame me for the shit I did before my skull fully hardened?"

"Well, it exposes a way larger pattern of behavior." You explained. "You're a megalomaniac that wants power without responsibility. So you attach yourself to someone with power, probably another narcissist who's too self-involved to see what a leech you really are. It's what you did with grandma and it's what you're doing with Gideon."

Dressing Theresa down like that gave you a rush. It made you feel alive. But more importantly, it made her look small. It stripped her of her power.

"Well done, Sherlock." Theresa taunted. "But you're forgetting one thing. If I were a megalomaniac, why would I waste my time beating up on you? Some nobody with no power to speak of?"

"Because I'm a living reminder of your past." You narrowed your eyes. "I remind you that you can't just beat everyone into submission."

"Ladies," Hannibal interrupted, holding three bowls. He placed one in front of you, the savory broth enticing your nose. "This is pot-au-feu. It is a simple French stew made from beef, vegetables and potatoes. I added a marrow-bone for extra richness. It's the perfect combination of simplicity and substance."

You couldn't even wait for Hannibal to sit down. You'd been so hungry all day. Smelling the meat slowly braise over the course of the day was torturous. You went straight for the marrow, which was a recent favorite of yours.

Theresa picked the bone up between two fingers and dropped it onto the table, her face wrapped with disgust. "I think I'll pass. I'm not a dog."

"You are not." Hannibal said, spearing a piece of meat on his fork. "I find dogs much better company."

Theresa tented her fingers and glared at Hannibal. "So you're just going to let her rip into me? Aren't you supposed to be the professional here?"

"Don't discount [F/N]'s analysis just because she is a student." Hannibal glared back at her. "From what I know about you, she's dead on."

"Isn't this entire interaction a professional conflict of interest?" Theresa folded her arms. "I don't trust her to analyze me because she hates me."

Hannibal put his utensils down. Anger flashed across his face. "I don't think you quite understand what this interaction is. You are not owed an unbiased psychological profile, especially not from me. You are not my patient. You are [F/N]'s abuser."

Theresa narrowed her eyes and leaned over the table. "So if you understand that, why am I here?"

"You think very highly of your intelligence, Theresa." Hannibal glanced down at his dish. "Perhaps you can figure that one out yourself."

You coughed, narrowly avoiding choking on your food.

"Darling, please pace yourself." Hannibal instructed, though he seemed pleased with how enthusiastically you inhaled your meal. "You're going to make yourself sick if you eat too fast."

"I'm sorry." You said after taking a long sip of water. "I don't know why, I'm just so hungry today."

Hannibal dropped his eyebrows, looking worried. "Did you take your medicine this morning?"

"I think so." You nodded.

Theresa smiled and reached for her phone. The movement caught Hannibal's attention, and he could tell what she was up to right away.

"Theresa, it's very rude to text at the dinner table." He scolded, taking a sip of wine. "Surely, anything you're saying to your grandmother and Anna, you can say to us."

Theresa, too proud to back down, slipped her phone into her purse and met your eyes. "You're pregnant."

"Brilliant fucking deductive reasoning." You rolled your eyes. "A woman gains a little weight and has a healthy appetite? That's the only logical conclusion I would draw."

"Well, aren’t we defensive?" Theresa taunted. "Congratulations, by the way."

"Theresa, stop it." You gritted your teeth, trying not to convey how pissed you were.

"You're going to need to drop out of school to take care of the baby full time." Theresa sneered.

You knew exactly where she was taking this and you wanted more than anything to just disappear. You reached for the wine bottle and refilled your glass. "Shut up, Theresa. Shut the fuck up before you say something you'll regret."

Her face lit up from the satisfaction of finally making you angry. "And someday you'll blow your brains out just like your mother!"

This time, she would regret it. You chucked the empty wine bottle across the table. It hit her directly in the face with a deafening crunch before ricocheting off the table and shattering on the ground.

Theresa brought her finger to her nose, noticing the stream of blood trickling from her nostril. She stood up, stabilizing herself with the back of the chair.

"I didn't think you had it in you." She jabbed before collapsing to the ground.

You went silent, too afraid to look at Hannibal.

"For what it's worth, darling." Hannibal piped up. "I always knew that you did."

#hannibal x reader #hannibal nbc #hannibal lecter #hannibal x you #tw violence #tw blood #cult girl #tw csa mention #tw suidice

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nctinfo · 4 years ago

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[TRANS] Taeyong interview with News1: I am a leader

Nice to meet you. Please introduce yourself. I'm Taeyong, the leader who is in charge of 'greeting' (laughs)

How did you become NCT 127's leader? I didn't expect to be a leader, but naturally, I became the leader. The company told me that I was very motivated when I was a trainee. I take great pride in our team, thanks to this I think they (the company) thought I was suitable to become the leader.

What kind of leader do you think you are? A leader who can say his lines at once without making any mistakes. (laughs). A responsible leader. Someone who works hard with the mission to fulfill the role of a leader.

There must be some burden that comes with being the team leader. In the past, I used to really worry about what I should do as NCT 127's leader. There is also the pressure to show a different image of myself for each NCT team, I really put a lot of care into that by myself. As we've been promoting, I feel a lot less burden now.

Out of all NCT units, only NCT 127 has a leader. Do you have more burden because of that? That was also a big part of the burden. Still, all the members of NCT 127 work hard, have outstanding skills, and a lot of affection for the team. So I was able to lose that burden.

What role do you take as the leader? As a leader, rather than taking care of the bigger things, you tend to take care of the smaller things more. It starts from choosing what to eat (laughs), how to organize the schedule, those things are decided by talking to the members. Furthermore, the members too, value showing our capabilities through the stage, so we talk a lot and arrange all our ideas. Of course, it's also my job to talk to the company when there's something important.

As the leader, what do you think is NCT 127’s exclusive charm? There’s many units under the NCT brand, but NCT 127 feels like home. Thanks to this we can chat even more comfortably with the members. We see each other when we’re unwell and we’ve been through a lot together, it’s hard to explain but it (NCT 127) just feels more close-knit.

As the leader of an idol group, what is something you focus on the most? Boosting the atmosphere within the team. I want to make the members laugh. (laughs) Before we would be talking about performances, but now everyone just works hard and we share our opinions about trivial things. I also want to make sure there’s no misunderstandings between the team and the company, wouldn’t that be a leader’s job.

When do the members need a leader the most? The camera’s and our positioning is different for each stage, so you need to organize that between the staff and the members. When the members tell me their opinions, I will discuss it with the staff. Anyhow, as you can see we're a group with a lot of members, so when we're arranging our positioning I will be the first one to give my opinion to make things go a little faster.

We’ve heard you’re taking care of the members very well. You seem to be knowing a lot. (laughs) When we record I keep in mind that the videos will be there for the rest of our lives so I don’t want anybody to have any regrets. So when we’re working I am putting an extra effort into it. Whatever we do I really don't want anyone to regret anything.

Who is the member who helps the leader? All the members like NCT 127, and want us to do better. We have a strong will to grow and show more. So I'm getting help from all the members. Among them to name a few, Doyoung and Mark help a lot. They are the members who talk a lot about how the stage should be. Also, I'm really grateful for the oldest, Taeil hyung. I feel really thankful for him because he acknowledges me/gives me validation so that's why I work hard as a leader.

On the contrary, is there a difficult member? There is none. Haha. If anything I think I’m the one who’s lacking. NCT 127 keeps getting stronger, so as the leader I want to make the team bond even more.

Since there are many foreign members in NCT 127, how do you guys communicate? Usually there’s no problems with that. When we talk about schedules there are words that are difficult for the foreign members. Especially for Yuta who says it’s difficult to understand everything perfectly, we explain things to him 3 times. Then he understands just fine. (laughs)

Brag about NCT 127. NCT 127 is the best. (laughs) I think the fact that we try our best and grow together as a team is cool. Especially when I look at the members, there’s so much to learn from them. They are so hard working that I want to support each one of them in their own lives. I’m also very thankful for the fans who love us who are like this.

This year with all the members gathered like this, you achieved great results with 'Kick It' and 'Punch'. First of all, I want to thank all the fans and the members. Everyone really worked hard. When 'Kick It' reached the top of the chart, I remember Doyoung was really happy. I felt proud to see the members overjoyed like that. I was happy that we achieved a result that is as big as how much we worked for it and I realized that 'this is possible'. Thank you.

Do you have any worries and struggles as a leader? The position of a leader is kinda awkward, so I worried a lot when I was overcoming it. At that time the members shared their opinions about our team and always did their best so I was able to lessen the stress

.Leading the team you’re bound to face conflicts. How do you deal with that? Of course you can’t help having different opinions when working. It’s not easy to get there, but I look at the team's overall atmosphere and reflect on individual opinions of the members. I think each person will come up with a resolution differently. So when I really need an unbiased opinion I just use roulette. It was Jaehyun’s idea. (laughs)

NCT 127 celebrated their 4th anniversary this year. It would feel new/different, how do you feel looking back? It feels like it's been longer than 4 years. To be honest, we didn't do that well at the beginning. Step by step we slowly rose up and maybe because of that, we were able to do everything we did and take every step well. Right after our debut, whether or stage or while promoting, we didn't really know how to do things, but now that we're used to it, I realize my experience has piled up over the years. The members also understand each other better and I feel like we've become a team that isn't envious of others. Maybe that's why we've turned from 'No Fun City' to 'Fun City' (laughs). I think we've always done our best and we've steadily grown. I feel like we've spent four years without regrets. Like that, I think this is just the start. I have a lot more to show and I have a lot of ambition. So we discuss a lot amongst the members about what to show. I want to let others know about the skills and the appeal of the members more and I want to show off that our members are really cool.

What do you wish for the members? As always I want to be with my members for a long time. When NCT was first revealed we found the new system difficult too. Although it might have been hard for the public to understand, I really think it was the most difficult for the members. Now that we’ve overcome it in the last 4 years, all we have to do now is to move forward. I want to say let’s promote with even more burning desire.

What is NCT 127’s ultimate goal? I want each one of us to be acknowledged for our skills so we can all make a solo. If that happens wouldn’t we be the best team? In addition I dream about us being acknowledged as artists by our SM seniors.

Translation: Alex, Esmee @ FY! NCT (NCTINFO) | Source: News1 (1, 2, 3) — Do not repost or take out without our permission!

#NCT #NCT 127 #taeyong #t:trans #t:interview #200711

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the-bjd-community-confess · 3 years ago

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More Divaz confos

Mod: Round two of these, previously: link. There’s some interesting customer reviews in this batch (5 and 8) which may be useful to readers.

1.Vic3mage "the secret bjdivaz vip group is just pictures of boxes coming in and going out". Yeah, between the bitching about d0llshe, asking people to post on doa for them, dunking on ex-customers, posting pics of random doll parts that they can't identify which doll they're supposed to go with, whining about how little money they make, whining when ppl e-mail them, whining. Yeah, other than that it's just boxes, and alpacas u can buy off amazon anyway lol.

~Anonymous

2.The butthurt users crying and guilttripping under every Divaz confession who have never been seen before elsewhere on this blog are extremely unsuspicious and unproblematic and definitely unconnected to Divaz and unbiased in every possible way

~Anonymous

3.idk shit abt bjd1vas but v1cemage i can absolutely tell you the shit about ch0o is 100% accurate, fucker's got a long, long history of being an awful little man that stretches well beyond his involvement in the doll community. between the two i'd still trust bjd1vas over ch00 ch00 the fool any day!

~Anonymous

4.The Z3st and Div4s thing is really silly and both entities were being shady but did they really have to take the DZ waiting room down with them? :( He had even made a separate thread about it......

~Anonymous

5. RE: BJD Divaz

I’ve been a customer of BJD Divaz since they first started, when it was only run by Chart3rline. I even contacted other BJD companies trying to persuade them to work with Divaz as their US representative. Most declined because they didnt like D's commission fee, but I was able to persuade a few of them.

I asked them to purchase a doll off DOA because I couldnt afford the asking price, and while they did, I found out later that instead of agreeing to purchase the seller's price, they negotiated the price to be lower. This significantly cheaper price was not passed down to me. I paid the full price +the commission fee based on that full price. I am disappointed I was not told this. This is when I stopped viewing them as a "friend" and instead, as a business. I dont hold this against them, it’s context to what Im going to say later.

I’ve stopped purchasing from D after my recent order from them. This company usually takes 3 or less months to make a doll. I’ve ordered the doll from D and it took 11 months. They let me know it arrived to them in March and that it will be shipped soon, except it only shipped on July, and only after I sent them several "reminder" emails. Before people in the comments try to put the blame on me for not sending a reminder soon, please keep in mind that I acknowledged the email in March and confirmed everything and they keep stressing to not send them emails because they are busy, I’ve emailed once every month since. I’ve since switched to ACBJD and Ive been happy with communication and the dolls ordered. I imagine ACBJD gets the same amount of emails, but they dont berate their customers if they email more than once.

I regret when people wanted a D0llshe, but not deal with him, I always recommended D. I would warn people of ordering directly and instead go through D. They assured buyers they would be handling communication and all the efforts so they wouldnt worry, except they didn’t. A person that I’ve recommended D to, who surpassed 2 years, keeps messaging me for help because D wouldnt reply to their emails. She is respectful, sweet and a timid person, not a Karen. This person, emailed D without a reply so would email a week later, only to be told that their email would be pushed down to the bottom if emailed again. No response, so she goes to FB and IG, who both tell her to email because they arent the person running orders. Finally got a response that they would get their refund, after D0llshe sends D's payment, but minus the PP fees. 3 months later and theres no refund, only a promise of them getting it later. Why is the customer missing out on fees when they have no doll? Customer emails d0llshe and he says he cant offer refund, because they didn’t order through them, which is understandable, but when all options are out for a customer, do you blame them for chargebacks?

If anyone files a chargeback, D will be blacklisting them from every company they rep, as in blacklisting you from buying direct from those companies. I urge everyone who has negative experiences with D to email the companies they rep instead of venting on confession blogs, and writing your experiences on social media. Make it count and send letters to the companies they represent, and please provide proof because they will try to make you out to be a liar.

Speaking of, they made vague posts on cl0ver singing for charging paypal fees, and that they offer guarantees as an official dealer, except when offering refunds, to non delivered products I might add, they are keeping the fees, and offered no help with d0llshe, even before they ended their dealership with them. Someone on DOA was told to not email them unless the wait time surpassed 1.5 years. They are even so petty that they post screenshots with the full name and address (dox) of the customer on purpose and then delete it out a day later as if they just realized their "mistake".

Before you try to make excuses for them about the fires, keep in mind, I am dealing with a business. The lower price negotiation with the DOA sale, I am in no way obligated to give them a pass or treat them as a friend when they made it clear that our relationship is strictly business. Their issues, are not my issues. D0lk got dragged for not shipping in time, others, including artisans, got dragged for being so late with communication and sending back refunds for cancelled orders. Why does D get to be exempt?

The supporters are the worst part of this, because of instead of being honest so D can improve, they support them for being "real". For example, look how micemage words it, to make it seem like this criticism is from one person, when there are people on addicts who didn’t have good experience. Check the bjd dealers tag here, you will see the supporters in the comments going off on any and all criticism of D. Some have sane comments, but the majority are cult like and try to identify the person venting as if it’s one person. Addicts deletes threads with criticism asking people to instead direct it to their feedback group; which lets be honest, no one is going to do because its "not that bad", and most dont want to join a new group, which is mostly dead.

This is my first and last confession on D, I’ve emailed each company they rep and told them my experience as well as contacting the 3 month wait company, with screenshots of my order, how they handled it, and the excuse they used to put blame on the company for being so late (package arrived march to D, 4 months to be shipped is on D, not the company). I’m not using company or order details because I know they are petty enough to try to identify me and publicly shame me like they have to others. This and the threat of suing is why not many people like to go public with their experience. They just keep feedback neutral, move on and never deal with again.

~Anonymous

6. Listen, I can't take you seriously in regards to BJD!vas because you're posting on a confession blog. If you were serious, you would have posted in buyer beware groups, DoA reviews or the board to get things resolved, or you would have made a complaint to the BBB. And your language makes you come off more as someone with an agenda rather than someone who is trying to warn people. If shipping is the issue, stop buying with standard shipping and pay the extra price for express shipping. I saw one of you complain that it sat with them for 20 days; that's probably because you're not the only one and they more than likely have a queue to check and then ship out. Do mistakes happen? Yes, because we're human. I've been in this hobby for a few years now and it seems like most people know you're going to have to wait, sometimes even outside the expected wait time. And shipping something as big as a doll is a timely endeavor. I shouldn't have to say that.

My point is simply to stop complaining on an confession board and either take it to the places previously mentioned. Posting here behind the anonymous mask makes you sound like a petulant child who didn't get their way right away.

~Anonymous

7.My only issue with BJD Divaz is how I never get any updates. Every email, they tell me to join their facebook page for status updates. I dont have a FB and I dont want to create one. I bought my doll through their website, updates should be posted on their website, or they could send me an email. That isnt asking much.

~Anonymous

8. Since there seems to be a lot of either "completely negative everything sucks" or "everything was sunshine and rainbows" confessions about bjd!vaz I thought I'd chime in with a neutral review.

PROS

-They were always polite and professional in their emails, and gave me very detailed answers to my questions.

-I got exactly what I ordered, so no mix ups or missing parts or anything like that.

-I think them being forthcoming about personal issues (only one person on staff, illness, the flooding isue etc.) on social media is good, since it keeps customers updated as to why there might be delays.

-If you live in the US their shipping is very reasonable.

CONS

-Reply times were varied. Sometimes it could take over a week, sometimes a couple hours.

-My order took about 10mo which, when comparing to other people who ordered through the same company around the same time, was about 3x as long as if I bought it direct and 2x as long if I had gone through a different dealer. I get some of the waiting time is out of their control, but it was kind of ridiculous.

-They dont necessarily ship the same day they send you a tracking number. I wish they said something like, "Here's your tracking number, our pickup is Xday so it should start moving after that" just so I could be aware.

All in all no major complaints. I got my doll and all that. Their lone employee is clearly overwhelmed. I hope they hire another person, if only to give the one a break.

Truthfully, I most likely won't buy through them again. I'd rather pay the international shipping and go direct, than deal with the extensive wait time. I'd still recommend them to someone looking for a very long layaway, though. I paid in full, but if I had a 12mo layaway I would've never known they weren't ready to ship my doll until month 10.

~Anonymous

#BJD #ABJD #BJD Confessions #TrueBJDConfessions #BJD Dealers

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jeonggukkiepabo · 4 years ago

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MOONCHILD 🌙 6

SUMMARY: Soulmates are a common thing. Everyone has one. Some people think soulmates are the greatest gift fate could give, others are envious about happy couples that were lucky enough to receive a wonderful partner. One of them was Min Yoongi. Your time to meet your significant other hasn’t come yet, stumbling into the tattoo parlor with a simple idea in mind, not knowing that you will be bound to step by more often. When you leave for the first time, you’ll go home with your masterpiece of a tattoo.

When you leave for the second time, you’ll go home with not only one, but two soulmates.

The man that was supposed to be your only soulmate, the one that never wanted to tell you that he woke up with the exact same koi karp tattoo just sits and watches - until he can’t take the pain anymore.

GENRE: Soulmate!Au

PAIRINGS: Y/N x Taehyung / Y/N x Jungkook / Taehyung x Jungkook / Taehyung x Jimin / Jungkook x Jimin / Hoseok x Seokjin / Y/N x Yoongi

WORD COUNT: 8k

WARNINGS: mentions of anxiety, fluff, kissies, deep talk with yoongi, mentions of heartbreak

Somehow, it was easier to warm up to Namjoon and Jimin than you thought in the beginning. It’s a weird feeling, growing comfortable around basically strangers, but it feels like you’ve known them since forever. Thinking about it now, you’d totally agree to what Jungkook and Taehyung said before: a bond isn’t something random and that it’s impossible to ignore it. To you, it feels just right, without any further explanations needed. You even stopped wondering why you always feel so at ease when one of your mates is around, why any fears seem meaningless when you’re with them.

Because you couldn’t be happier about the bond you shared with your four… now boyfriends. Your soulmates. The loves of your life. Of course, everything is still new for you and the group’s dynamics are still confusing to you, but as Jimin once said: you’ve got time. Things are getting easier every day and everything is falling into place slowly, allowing you to feel lighter every day.

Soon enough, your spare days are consisting of either hanging around at the tattoo parlour or drawing in the bakery to at least spend some time with Jimin and Hoseok. You’ve grown closer to the latter, lucky to have a neutral person to talk to, someone unbiased when it comes to your lovelife.

He’s incredibly funny and you’d never complain about his teasing jokes, because you’re not the only victim; he’s unstoppable and your four boyfriends are his favorite target for his bickering. And Hoseok himself could only describe you with one word: endearing. He loves seeing you smile, loves to be the reason for your adorable reactions. The red haired man knows that he adores people way too much for his own sake, but you’re definitely one of a kind. He almost feels a soft lightning of jealousy whenever he notices how differently you brighten up once one of your soulmates comes into sight, but he’s quick to remind himself that he has an adorable soulmate on his own.

Hoseok even created a special cupcake flavor for you - a cotton candy cupcake with bubblegum frosting, pink and blue, melting on your tastebuds.

“Hobi those are amazing!” You smile as you lick the frosting off your cupcake, sprinkles sticking to your nose as you do so. Hoseok grins, shrugging his shoulders as he places another one in front of you. “I know right? The bubblegum frosting kills it! This one is the last, though. I don’t want to feed you cupcakes all day long. They aren’t going to be special to you any longer if you keep eating several of them every day.”You pout, looking over to your boyfriend to save you. Surely someone will make Hobi cave right? No one can resist you; you always end up having what you want.

“But I like your cupcakes, Hobi! Jimin, tell him that cupcakes are good for me. Some people might need vitamins, but I need cupcakes to live!” Jimin laughs, eyes disappearing as he holds up his hands in defence. Goodness, can you get any cuter? He can’t believe that their soulmate can be such a child sometimes. You’re worse than Jungkook and Taehyung and the three of you can become a dangerous trio.

“I can’t help it, peaches.” He walks over to you, bending down slightly to match your height. Then, he licks one fat stripe across your nose.

“Jimin!” You screech at the disgustingly wet feeling, but your boyfriend just giggles, licking his lips slowly.

“You had frosting on your nose, I couldn’t help it. Even though I have to say that I’m not a fan of the bubblegum.” He wiggles his eyebrows and you giggle quietly despite the sticky feeling not leaving your face.

“Yah! No sex in my bakery, Jimin go and do some dishes, mop the floor or do whatever you usually do at work!” Jin chimes in, gently slapping the back of Jimin’s head. You can’t help but laugh out loud as you notice Jimin’s dejected expression. He glares at you slightly, whilst you wiggle your eyebrow just like he did before. You get his “wait until we’re alone” message clearly and think that you might have to run away before his shift is done otherwise you might be in for a complicated time later.

“Karma, Minie. Thanks, Oppa! How are you doing, Jinnie? I haven’t seen you around in a while.” You smile sweetly, trying to distract him from your boyfriend before he gives him more work. The eldest sighs dramatically, showing you all the boxes he just carried inside the bakery.

“I spent the weekend in my hometown to see my family, but also went to this kind of coffee expo, that’s where I got all that new stuff, coffee beans with rose aroma, different oils to infuse the coffee and pastry and even some of those little sprinkles Hoseok loves using - but those glow in the dark!”

You scrunch your nose worriedly. “Are those healthy?”

“Yah! Who cares about health if you can have cupcakes that glow in the dark? Sometimes you’re the worldwide funny girl, Y/N.”

Jin laughs and shakes his head as he continues to carry the boxes into the storage room, mumbling how exciting those sprinkles are and that they were worth every cent. A big smile is plastered on your face and you’re sure it won’t fade anytime soon as you feel a warm sensation spreading through your entire body. This is one of your new safe places. You don’t know a lot about Seokjin and Hoseok, but they are possibly the nicest men you ever met (excluding your soulmates) and you often find yourself speaking with the two men, spending some quality time with them in the café. It feels like you’re a little family and you can’t help but giggle at the image that is now stuck in your mind; Jin being the loving grandma whilst Hoseok is the chaotic father that doesn’t even know his children’s friends' names.

“Hobi, please don’t put them on my cupcakes. I think Yoongi would love them though, they match his personality and that way you can test if they’re harmful or not.” You wink at the couple as you start collecting your belongings and shoving them into your backpack before returning your cup and plate to Jimin.

“Thanks, Minnie. I’ll see you tonight, right?” You press a kiss onto his lips before turning around to Hoseok.

“Hobi, help your man, you don’t have those strong arms for nothing! Thanks for the cupcake, I hope there’ll be more tomorrow!” Hobi laughs, shaking his head as he hands you a small bag of pastries for the boys in the parlour. You smile quickly before leaving. Jimin sighs behind, already missing your comforting presence.

“You have a lovely soulmate Jimin-ah.” Jimin perks up at the mention of you and he giggles quietly. Hoseok smiles at him, happy to see his friend so joyful, breathing happiness. Jimin has been glowing recently, and Hoseok knows who is responsible; and to be honest, he can’t really blame him.

“She’s the best”.

The days at the parlour are the most thrilling ones because Jungkook couldn’t stop suggesting to tattoo you, even if he’d only get to tattoo small little designs in hidden places. In the beginning, you were strictly against it, but his round doe-eyes combined with the adorable pout made it almost impossible to say no. And boy he knows it. He knows how to use his charms to make you cave in. So one day, you indeed gave in.

“Fine,” you sighed, “but make me a small dinosaur, I want something cute on my ankle.”

Firstly, he’s overjoyed that you said yes but then he replays the sentence in his mind and the thought is not so attractive anymore. Jungkook sighs, stomping his boot-cled foot on the floor.

“A small dinosaur? Why not something more.. dangerous?”

He can’t help but imagine you covered in his arts, only the prettiest pieces for you, and he can’t explain how much the thought arouses him. It has-scratch that-you have an effect on him that he can’t really comprehend. But… Come on, a small dinosaur? He expected better from you.

“I’m not dangerous, honey. I can still ask Yoongi to tattoo me one, though. If you’re not up for a challenge…” Smirking, you wait until he reacts, knowing that Jungkook would never say no to a challenge.

But what’s making him silently snap is not really the challenge but the thought of someone else accessing your skin. No. He’s not going to allow that; it’s either him or Tae, but no one else.

Behind you, Yoongi’s head pops out of the room he’s currently tattooing in.

“I’d say no as well, I hate those minimalist tattoos,” he replies before closing the door again, leaving you more than confused.

Once you look back to Jungkook, he already prepared some small designs despite his complaints. There is no way he is letting someone else tattoo your perfect skin, so he prepared a little t-rex, a stegosaurus and a cute little triceratops.

“The last one, the last one!” You clap your hands, excited for the new addition on your body. Jungkook grumbles, moving towards the desk to prepare a stencil.

“Get a girlfriend they said, it’ll be fun they said. Tae would never want a dinosaur tattoo from me.”

You frown, eyebrow raised as you look over to your boyfriend.

“Are you saying you regret being my mate? Because last night when you had your dick between my boo-”

“I didn’t say anything, calm down.” Jungkook rolls his eyes as he comes back to you again, pulling you into his own little tattoo corner. Sometimes you’re more dramatic than Jimin and he doesn’t know if he thinks it’s endearing or just slightly annoying. Usually, he goes for the first one.

Small tattoos were soon enough a weekly thing for you, sometimes Taehyung chimed in with an idea but it were mostly some scribbles from Jungkook’s sketchbook that caught your eye and were inked into your skin a few hours later. If the first dinosaur hadn’t really thrilled Jungkook, he began to adore these little additions to your skin somehow all fitting together. The two boys were getting protective of you and what you were getting on your skin, debating where and what to tattoo to make sure the whole would look pretty on you.

One day, Jungkook is just getting started to tattoo a little moon onto your wrist, next to the sun that he gave you last week when Yoongi comes into the parlour, cupcake and coffee in his hands. His eyes meet yours and for a second you see so many different feelings swirling in his orbs that you feel slightly uncomfortable, even with your boyfriend next to you.

“Y/N, again? Sometimes I wish I wouldn’t have pulled you into the parlour. Don’t you have a workplace to be or another one of your several boyfriends to annoy? Jungkook, you need to charge her for all that material at some point, I’m not shitting money.” The shop owner scoffs as he places his breakfast onto the front desk. You smile, ignoring his snarky remarks, because by now you know that all he does is bark but not bite. Yet, the gloomy feeling you have is not leaving your skin and you shiver for a second. Jungkook’s eyes snap to yours, worry written all over his features. You soothe him down as you feel his questions through the bond. Does he think he hurt you even though he still has not started the tattoo?

“Oh, you got a cupcake from Hobi-oppa? Wait, is that the special one he makes for his friend? Poor soul, his friend didn’t pick it up again?” Jungkook giggles, having to pause the tattoo gun for a second to look at his Hyung’s reaction. He knows who the friend is and your confusion is just peak comedy.

If only you knew what you had started.

Yoongi shoots him a warning glare before mumbling a “I’m the friend, you idiot”. It takes you a few seconds to understand what he just said and you realize why Jungkook is a giggling mess by now.

Hoseok’s friend is Yoongi.

Yoongi and Hoseok know each other and Yoongi picks up cupcakes on a regular basis even though he told you he wasn’t one for sweets.

“You’re friends with Hobi? I’m sorry I didn’t know it was you otherwise I wouldn't have been that rude.” You smile sheepishly even though the blonde man seems to be ignoring you. “That’s so unexpected though, you’re grumpy and he’s a sunshine. I wouldn’t have guessed it, you must make an interesting pair. When worlds collide, huh” you chuckle as you watch Jungkook finishing the last line. “Thanks, bub!” You press a quick kiss onto his lips before he wraps your wrist, then you’re done. He knows that Yoongi is about to say more; the older is unable to finish a conversation without making sure that he has the last word, especially when it comes to Hoseok. Jungkook is not one to get involved where he shouldn’t, but sometimes he has questions that are burning his tongue even if she succeeds in keeping everything for himself.

What you don’t hear is the painful sound coming from Yoongi as he watches you and Jungkook’s bond playing games with him again. He’s been trying to deny that the bond hurt him when he sees you with someone else, but sometimes, it stings a little bit too much for him to ignore it. Your tattoo was still there, even after you accepted your other mates, so who was he kidding? He wasn’t even enough for you, he couldn’t replace any of those young men - not that he wanted to. You were annoying, too gigglish and beaut- always there, you were always there. Whether it’s the bakery or their parlour, your scent, your laugh and your voice are everywhere. It follows Yoongi and he hates every second of it. Sometimes he feels like Edward when he met Bella for the first time. Not that Yoongi watched Twilight. No. He has… just heard of it.

You are everywhere and he hates it. He truly wishes he had not dragged you into his shop because now you’re not leaving even though he’s doing everything to avoid you.

But why does he even want you to be bothered? It's not like you mean anything to him, he has no reasons to expect a reaction from you right? Especially since you found other soulmates, far better than him apparently. You even spend more time with Seokjin and Hoseok than with him anyway.

“Yeah, I’ve known him for quite some time now. Free coffee and cupcakes from time to time are a nice thing to enjoy.”

Quite some time, sure, Yoongi thinks. What about your teenage years that you were inseparable? The crush you’ve had on him for ages? The one drunk kiss you shared the night before you turned 18? That drunk kiss could’ve activated the soulmate bond, but you chickened out and ran away like a baby, it’s your loss, bastard. Seokjin used his chance and what happened after that was obvious.

Yoongi turns his back to you to take a deep breath, his oversized shirt slowly moving down his shoulder and exposing his neck before he can do anything against it. He realizes his mistake a little bit too late even though he’s quick to turn around again, looking for any sign in each Jungkook’s and your face - obviously both of you realized something. He sees the confusion melting into a frown on your face and he cannot meet your eyes. This is happening, isn’t it?

“Why do we have the same tattoo, Yoongi?”

The fact that he doesn’t even bother to answer is making you angry. Why the fuck does he has the same tattoo? You’re 100% sure of what you just saw, you look at this tattoo every morning before getting dressed. You know the lines by heart and it is not possible for you to mistake it by any means.

So why the fuck does he have your tattoo copied on his skin? Reasons and possibilities are flying through your racing and furious mind. You already imagine the worst. Maybe one of the boys even helped him? He cannot reach this place by himself. It means that someone else did it for him. Did one of your very own soulmates betray you like that? “I drew it myfuckingself and now you’re running around with a cheap copy of it? Who did it, Jungkook!” You’re on your feet, getting closer to the young man at a dangerously slow pace. Jungkook blinks at the sudden call of his name “Tell me. Did you or Taehyung help him?” He tilts his head obviously confused by what you are saying and it only angers you more. Is he playing dumb now? You know a tattoo when you see one and even though it’s not your job, you’re well aware that the place of the tattoo is not one someone can reach alone. Someone had to help.

Jungkook is getting mad too as he starts pulling the puzzle together but he sighs, shaking his head. You are his priority, he has to get you to calm down first. You are a team, not against each other. “Neither Tae nor I knew about this, I’m as shocked as you are, love. We wouldn’t have done that, I promise you. A tattoo is far too personal for us to do something this low. Now though,” Jungkook glares at Yoongi, hands slowly balling into fists, obviously understanding what’s going on. Yoongi just smirks at him, happy to piss the younger off. “Don’t act up, Jungkook.”

At least Yoongi has the upper hand for now and if he can take a little advantage out of it, then he will. The angry face of Jungkook is too good to pass the opportunity. Though, Yoongi does not dare meet your eyes; he fears what he’s going to see if he does.

“Act up? Why? What’s going on?” But both of them ignore you and this is only rilling you up.

“You have some guts Yoongi, you still didn’t answer me!” You almost growl, looking at the white haired man whose lips are still holding that sassy smirk. He’s still not looking at you and the fact that he is ignoring you is pissing you off greatly. Who does he think he is?

“You knew about that and didn’t think it would be important to tell her?” Jungkook gets no answer so he goes on “you know what could’ve happened and yet, you didn’t tell her? She could’ve been in so much pain, you could have hurt her, don’t you fucking care at least a little? You rejected your mate without even telling her about it you fucking son of a bitch!” With one big jump, Jungkook was right in front of Yoongi, hitting him right into the stomach.

But then, you realize it. The tattoo appeared on his skin because it became the link between you and him. Your bond reached him through the tattoo.

Yoongi is your fucking soulmate and he obviously rejected you as he never talked to you about and seemed to be actively avoiding you. The thought alone causes you to shiver. You failed as a mate before even being given the chance to prove yourself.

You laugh darkly as your fears finally become reality. Four perfect mates who loved you and accepted you for who you were? This was only a story you find in books, not in reality.

No, in reality you have five mates and one would rather be risking both of your lives (thus risking all of the others as well) than to try to speak to you about it. Your voice is caught in your throat when you realize that you’ve also put your four other mates in danger because of this. If you’d come to lose the bond with them, it could damage their bonds with each other and most probably could hurt them physically and mentally as well. The tears are hard to swallow, but you have to for now. You want to vomit when you remember what you’ve been told about mates rejecting their other halves. It’s unfair how your bond is manifesting only now when it never did even though it reached for Yoongi’s. Because it hurts so much you wish you had felt the pain before, just for it not to hurt as much as it does right now.

You’re not really sure where the pain comes from but you’re lightheaded when you look at both men again. You see Yoongi on the floor and Jungkook’s rage is flagrant on his features. You never saw him that angry. You’re almost concerned for a few seconds but you laugh bitterly in your head.

Are you that pathetic that one of your mates had to punch someone for you?

Even though Jungkook’s move is well deserved - and makes you feel somewhat better, because he seems to feel the anger you’re feeling as well - this isn’t his fight. You’re not one to enjoy fights.

That’s not what you wanted.

Why have you been tied to all of them? It feels unfair. You’re only destroying what they have and not adding anything positive. Just looking at what is happening now, you only brought chaos.

Yoongi might not want you as a soulmate, that’s his own choice. It hurts, sure, but this has nothing to do with Taehyung or Jungkook because the tattoo happened before you were a thing. And now you’ve involved both of them, hurting both in the process and almost putting them in danger because of your bonds. You can’t let that continue, you have to find a way to stop everything.

Once you get a hold on Jungkook and are face to face with Yoongi’s cocky smirk, you can’t help the urge to just smack him across the cheek, tears spilling from your eyes before you leave into the locker room, knowing that Taehyung was just about to finish his break.

This is what Yoongi wanted, so this is what he gets.

You have to leave, you have to find another place to be because you can’t breathe correctly. You feel Jungkook reaching through the bond but you’re trying your everything to refuse him access. How do you cut a bond without hurting someone? Is that even possible?

You laugh over your thoughts as you notice that you are trying to reach for comfort. What are you doing? Are you trying to leave or are you trying to seek for one of your soulmates? What are you trying to do? Feel validated by one of the four men you adore? What if it only made them realize what you are? You’re just a nuisance after all. You keep on ruining what they all have. Do you really deserve to be selfish once again and seek for one of them to comfort you?

At least you know better than running to Jimin right now, because he would’ve told Namjoon, Namjoon would’ve called Taehyung and Taehyung would… You don’t even know what Taehyung would do, you don't even know what you are doing, you just don’t want to hurt or worry any of them, yet your mind is turning cloudy as you open the door and fall directly into Taehyung’s arms, bond reaching for his instantly.

You feel pathetic. Running into your soulmates arms as soon as something is going wrong. You’re just going to worry Taehyung, which is going to worry Jimin, who is going to worry Namjoon and- And you can’t think anymore.

Your mind is racing but you can’t focus anymore. The only good thing about finding Taehyung is that it’s better if he hears about what happened from you, rather than to understand everything by someone else. Besides, it feels a little bit soothing to have him close to you. You feel like you belong somewhere despite… Despite what Yoongi decided for you and for your bond.

“Angel, what’s wrong? I can feel a lot through the bond, but it’s… Quite negative, what is happening?” Taehyung whispers as he strokes your hair carefully, embracing you in a warm hug that soothes your hazy mind a bit, but everything still feels suffocating. You just hope that your feelings aren’t fully communicated through the bond because you’re probably setting everyone in panic if so. You can’t contain your words but your labored breathing makes it difficult to actually explain what is happening right now to your confused soulmate.

“Yoongi… he has my koi carp tattoo… He didn’t even tell me, god, Tae. Why me? He hates me, he so obviously h-hates me and now he’s mated to me as well? H-He doesn’t even want me and bad things happen to people that don’t accept the bond and it means that you g-guys are in d-danger because of m-me. God I r-ruin everything, I’m a-awful…”

“Wha- shh, angel, slow down. You’re okay, you’re safe with me, alright? Don’t say those things about yourself, you're perfect sweetheart. You’re not ruining anything” Taehyung has to breathe a few times not to curse loudly and yell some pieces of his mind to his Hyung.

He respects Yoongi a lot, he has always been his mentor. But there are things that he does not tolerate and making his soulmate cry and panic that much is one of them.

God, he has felt the urgency in his bond; you were trying to desperately find an issue. Had he not had his hands full of ink when the bond started to weigh his whole soul down, he would have flown to the lobby. He feels regretful for not throwing everything away in order to come to you.

You and Jungkook are both way more precious to him than some disposable things. He knew something was wrong and he had tried to brush it off, thinking that you both were together and thus, nothing could happen to you. He should have followed his bond at the exact moment he felt something.

Fucking shit, Yoongi is your soulmate? And he said nothing? What if something had happened to you because of his rejection of the bond?

Taehyung is gritting his teeth; he has to calm down otherwise he’ll never soothe you down either. Yoongi is an asshole. Okay, he didn’t think that he would ever do something that low but he has to focus on you and soothing the ache in the bond.

He tries to mentally erase the moment you started saying you were an awful soulmate because it is not helping him. He just wants to leave the room and find Yoongi.

But Taehyung is an adult, he knows that acting rash won’t help.

He’ll get angry at Yoongi later.

“Jungkook is probably talking to him right now, even though I’m… Definitely not the biggest fan of his actions, Yoongi... I don’t really know if he does, but I think that Yoongi might deserve it right now. However, that’s Yoongi’s problem right now. You don’t have to endure it, nor to wait for him. It’s not because he is your soulmate that you have to think of him first, alright? Do you want me to take you home? Away from Yoongi? I don’t have any more clients, I should be doing some sketches but I can do those at yours if you want to. Think of yourself first for once, will you? If you feel like you have things to tell him, then we can stay, but I don’t want you to feel any kind of pressure for an idiot that didn’t even think of you in his decisions.”

Tae kisses your forehead, but you shake your head no.

“I have to talk to him about it. I want to know why he hates me so fucking much. Also, I want to return the right of having a soulmate, some people are overwhelmed with just one, now I have 4 and a half!” Taehyung smiles, proud of you. “That’s my baby.” His thumb runs on your cheeks, erasing the tears that escaped.

“Whatever Yoongi chooses is not your responsibility, alright? It doesn’t change that we have a bond, the five of us and you are with us whatever happens, okay? You are an amazing soulmate, Angel. Don’t doubt it. The one who fucked up is Yoongi. Not you. Yeah?”

You nod quietly against his palm and he kisses the crown of your head. You don’t feel quite ready to speak with Yoongi but you guess that you deserve to know the truth and the full story. He does owe you that, at least.

It does surprise you that Jungkook and Yoongi weren’t fighting anymore once you came back into the lobby. Instead, they are seated on the couch and talking quietly, even though it’s more like a whisper-yelling from Jungkook’s side. You don’t really know how to feel, you’re confused and hurt obviously, but you’re going to have to be the bigger person and actually wait for him to explain if he wants to. Taehyung is reaching to you through the bond and you feel slightly more confident. You’ve been overwhelmed with so many feelings that you had begun to think about things that were so far from being the truth. Your mind just kept on escalating until you’d felt like nothing. You’ll have to thank Taehyung for grounding you.

“Yoongi..?” You shyly ask as you make your way towards them - somehow afraid of the platinum blonde man. Biting your lip, you try to calm your anxiety down for at least the talk, but how could you without knowing how this day would end?

You could either end up being heartbroken or happier than ever with a new mate, and with the way he always treated you, you don’t really feel like you have another happy ending incoming. It feels more like the start of the end.

And besides, you thought about him only but Taehyung told you to think of yourself first: would you even accept him if he actually comes to tell you that he wants to pursue something with you?

Would you let in someone who is not afraid to put everyone’s safety in danger just for selfish reasons? You’re trying to push the thoughts far from you for now.

Live the moment and see what can happen: whatever happens, you’ll be able to say that you tried your best until the end.

“Y/N,” Yoongi sighs and looks over to Taehyung, worry written over both their faces. You were just about to speak when Jungkook chimes in.

“C’mon Tae, let them talk. I’ll explain everything to you.”

The youngest stands up and presses a soft kiss onto your cheek before taking his boyfriends hand and walks back into the locker room. He sends you one last wink, silently cheering for you and you smile quietly. What do you have to fear when whatever happens, you’ll always have your soulmates cheering for you?

Yoongi swipes his hair out of his face, exposing his stern eyebrows before looking at you. God, he feels like an asshole. He knows that, technically, he has been one, but he never thought it would come to the point that he would knowingly hurt his soulmate. He always hides behind the fact that he’s in love with Hoseok, but that didn’t give him the right to hurt you. He should have at least told you…

“Sit down, please.” His voice is rough, almost exhausted but also sounds… painful? Distressed?

Slowly, you take place next to him, trying not to touch his leg, trying not to touch him at all. You’re still confused if you want to have anything to do with him to be honest with yourself.

“I’m sorry.” You choke out, barely whispering as you lower your gaze, avoiding his cat-like eyes that are probably full on judging you right now.

Yoongi tilts his head to the side, watching you confused.

“Why? You couldn’t have known that this would happen, I couldn’t know - otherwise I wouldn’t be doing that job. I mean, I’m the one that should be apologizing in the first place. I should have handled everything differently, and the only thing that I can do now is to explain, but… Yeah, the thing is, I don’t believe in soulmates.” He quiets down for a short amount of time, creating a break between his words to gauge your reaction, but you don’t seem to be that surprised.

For some reason, it doesn’t sit well with him. He knows he has done enough damages but he wishes for a reaction rather than your expressionless face. “I don’t think that fate should be the one to select your forever and always, do you get what I mean? Of course, I’m pissed about the fact that I got mated to you, but it’s not you that makes me hate being mated. You have done nothing wrong and I’ve been taking my frustrations out on you, and I know it’s wrong but... It’s just… I’m in love with some fucking stupid red haired baker that loves to add too many star-sprinkles on top of cupcakes and…” It clicks too easily in your mind as those words leave his mouth. It doesn’t excuse him, but you finally understand why everything has been this way.

“You’re… You’re in love with Hobi...” You didn’t expect it yourself, but a big grin takes place on your face as you clap your hands excitedly. Just the fact that you finally understand what is going on is making you- not really happy but - something along the lines. Once more, Yoongi is confused, it’s not the reaction he thought he would get. Not at all.

“Yes, but… Shouldn’t you be mad or jealous or something? I mean, not that I expect you to be, I’ve been nothing but an ass to you, but, that’s how I felt once you got mated to Taehyung and Jungkook, even though it’s my own fault… If I hadn’t changed your appointment…”

He catches how your glance suddenly changes at this information. You don’t seem to be mad, nor surprised, but you’re acknowledging what he says, as if you had already considered this idea. “Anyways, I mean… Aren’t you mad that I don’t want to be your mate?”

You shrug your shoulders, not sure what to answer. It’s quite a dumb question. Of course you are. Of course you are hurt. It feels like you’re not good enough for him. But… You try to understand his side, and you're not sure how you would feel if you had been in love with someone for like, forever, and you suddenly have to accept and love someone else. It seems like something that you would have had a hard time carrying yourself, so who are you to judge him, or to be mad at him?

“It’s rude, I guess. It doesn’t make me feel like I’m the most wanted human on earth for sure. It kind of feels like I suck so much that my own soulmate doesn’t feel like they can care or love me. So, the question is kind of easy to answer, I’d rather say that it stings, but who am I to be mad at you? I see your point of view and I’ve already got four mates that are caring and loving - three more mates than I thought I’d have. I never thought that I would have more than one soulmate. I’m always surrounded with love when I’m with them, so I'd say that knowing that there’s another man running around with my tattoo - a tattoo that means so much to me - is just overwhelming, knowing that you don’t want me as a soulmate hurts, but I’ll get over it if that’s what you choose, we’ll just have to be careful with our health because I’m not putting my mates’ safety in danger for you own comfort. Maybe we are soulmates to understand things and not to live them together. It does happen sometimes. I do agree with you, fate shouldn’t be the one to decide - but in our case, fate is just suggesting who to choose, don’t you think so? You decided against choosing me and we are still alive. Besides, I don’t…,” You seem to hesitate for a second, “I don’t feel a bond between us and you probably don’t feel that either.”

You feel a bit bitter to lie like that. You didn’t feel it until today. Until you realized who he was to you. But you guess that you shouldn't try to make him change his decision.

“But I do.” Yoongi whispers, finally looking up from the hole in his jeans.

He tries to read you, but you’re not easily opening up anymore. He feels like it’s his fault, but he still sees that glimmer of hope inside of your eyes, and trustfully, it kills him, because he just wants to give in right now. Yoongi wants to be held, to be loved, anything.

He just wants to feel. If he doesn’t accept you, would he ever get another chance again? Would there be another human soul accepting his own broken one?

“I fucking do feel bonded to you, Y/N. That’s the problem. I don’t want to smile whenever I feel you around. I don’t want to feel happy when I see your smile. And I don’t want to suffer just because I see you kissing Taehyung or Jungkook - even if you smile at them instead of me, it hurts. I want to be loved, I want to love. But the only person that exists for me is Hoseok. I’ve loved him since I was 16, but fucking fate destroyed - I mean, not destroyed, wrong choice of words but - my chance of being mated to him disappeared for me that day. The man I’m in love with is mated to someone else, and now even I’m mated to someone else. How do you think it feels like to be rejected by the only person you’ve been interested in? And then there’s your soulmate, you’re supposed to love her, to be everything she’s waiting for, to care and be there for her and a month later she’s suddenly mated to four other men. What does the fabulous fate want me to do? Get into a polyamorous relationship with four men and one woman? Being not the third but the sixth wheel? I don’t think so.”

You nod, slowly understanding his issues because that’s how you felt just a few weeks ago. From your dreams of a soulmate that would be your one and unique love, to your new reality composed of four men, who are absolutely amazing, do not kid yourself but, it’s so different from anything you thought would happen. It took you some time to accept what was happening, to accept four men who you’re supposed to be a lost part of their soul.

You don’t really like the idea of being broken without your soulmates, but it feels just right when you’re with them. In a way, you understand why people came to say that. Because it’s so powerful that it’s hard to define it differently.

Just like how Yoongi said that fate destroyed his chances with Hobi.

You understand. Because it’s overwhelming, it’s new. It feels like no one can help you out. However, you have your soulmates. It’s been the five of you to get through it and to start your relationship. Yoongi on his side, he has no one to talk to.

So, honestly? You understand him, as weird as it sounds. Even you, at some point, think that it isn’t right, that you shouldn’t be so understanding: you should be mad. You even thought about rejecting him if he wanted to pursue anything with you after all of that but now all your anger seems to have faded away.

Yoongi was expecting it from you too. But no. You aren’t. You’re just glad that he finally decided to talk and to stop running away from you. You don’t want to prevent him from doing anything, you just want to be here for him, at least. He is not alone, and he will always be able to count on you. Maybe you’re meant to be soulmates in a… friendzone kind of way.

“I know, Yoongi. I get it, don’t worry. I mean, I probably should be mad, but I understand. I don’t want to force you into anything, you are your own person with your own belief and choices. I’m not your soulmate to berate you, or to be annoying or whatever. You’re just, not alone in this, you know? I don’t want you to feel like you have to do anything with me or to get involved with me- but don’t you think you deserve love? Because... I think you do. Maybe love is what you need to get rid over the thought of Hobi being out of your reach? You need love to start a life where you only care about what the future holds, someone that helps to pull you out of that dark place. Crying and being upset over his bond with Jin won’t make your life easier. It would actually be the other way around. Maybe you need to let go, Yoongi. And once again, I’m not asking you to accept us. I mean, we don’t even know if you’re meant to be with the four other men in my life, and I know that Jungkook and Taehyung might not be your types, I thought so too when I realized that Jimin and Namjoon were a part of this too, but I gave them a chance, and I think that one chance might change everything. You already know all of them and I think that it is safe to believe that your two coworkers are your closest friends by now. You trust them, you take care of them even though you might not want to accept that. The bond doesn’t feel like we are forced to love each other, okay? It just happened and I don’t regret it. But it’s your decision, Yoongi. And I won’t take it away from you, just know that if you ever decide to accept me, accept us, then-”

And then, he kisses you.

Yoongi kisses differently from what you would have expected. He wasn’t soft, shy or holding back anything. His kisses are hungry, frustrated and maybe a little bit aggressive.

This time, the bond didn’t feel like fireworks or butterflies in your stomach, it was more like an explosion full of bad energy that rushed over into your body.

Yoongi grabs your face, pulling you even closer and as you put your hands on his cheeks, you feel them. Tears are spilling out of his eyes, the feeling of being complete finally settling into your bodies. It is amazing how a simple action holds so many consequences and feelings. It feels like you did something amazing, while you just kissed.

Once Yoongi breaks the kiss, he pulls you onto his lap, hugging you tightly whilst his body still slightly shakes from being overwhelmed.

“It’s alright, Yoongi. We’re here, we’re together. You have all of us on your side,” you coo, trying to calm him down as you run your finger through his messy hair.

He’s not alone, he has never been but if he never realized it and you’re going to change that. He’s going to be loved and cherished as much as he lets you.

You’ll give him anything, you know it sounds desperate, but you feel so much for him. Goodness, he changed everything upside down in one kiss and one talk.

You kind of hate it, but at the same time, it feels right. Maybe Yoongi is in it to prove to you that fate doesn’t do it all. You have to fight for your mates too. You can’t be given everything, love and trust is something that you gain.

You’re starting to feel exhausted because of the ride you just did. You went from anger to pain, to despair, to anger again, to shyness, to compassion and finally you’re here, hugging your missing soulmate.

“I’m so fucking sorry,” Yoongi whispers, eyes still spilling tears onto your shirt. “I treated you like shit, yet here you are, ready to soothe my pain.”

“Don’t, Yoongi. That was the past. Now we’re here. The healing begins.” You smile soothingly as his arms wrap tightly around you. He keeps on letting apologies fall from his lips and you don’t think that he listens to you when you tell him to stop. He doesn’t need to apologize, you understand him. However, if he feels like he has to, you’ll let him. You’ll give him all the reassurances he needs to walk further with you.

Seconds later, Jungkook and Taehyung run back into the lobby, eyes wide and lips parted in shock. “What happened, Y/N? I just got a love boner and that wasn’t because Tae and I were basically-”

“Oh, fuck it, Jungkook,” Tae groans. Then, his eyes fall on you and Yoongi, still embraced in a tight hug.

“Fuck, you did it, love.” His smile was generous, heartwarming and you just know he isn’t mad about the fact that you decided to love one more person.

Quite the contrary, Taehyung is a perceptive man. He doesn’t really want to tell anyone, but he had known it. He knew it would end up like that, and he can’t wait for the time when you and all your soulmates will be able to be together and walk toward a better future. On the other side, Jungkook furrowed his eyebrows, disbelief visible in his eyes.

“Yoongi, the fuck? You just said that you would never want her, minutes later you’re having her on your lap? Wow.” You feel the jealousy that washes over Jungkook, the boy doesn’t like sharing you, you are his baby, his best friend and his mate. He was fine that you were being mated to his soulmates, but Yoongi doesn’t belong to him.

He doesn’t know if he would want him to be his as well, or if he’s just jealous that you give love to someone else, especially someone that just made you cry. Taehyung told him how he found you and Jungkook was not happy. Either way, he doesn’t like it too much.

“Jungkook,” you sigh as you press a chaste kiss on top of Yoongi’s hair before sitting down next to him, patting the free spot. “Can you guys sit down? We should probably talk.”

After all of you talked and came down from the emotional roller coaster, the atmosphere was much calmer.

“I’m not kissing any of you, just to make that clear.” Yoongi looks at the two men, scrunching his nose in disgust.

“I wouldn’t want to kiss you anyway.” Jungkook mumbles, earning a kick against his shin from you. “Stop it, Jungkook. You’re gay as fuck and Yoongi is good looking, of course you want to kiss him. I would,” Taehyung shrugs as he grins at the eldest.

“I’m not gay, I’m bi. There’s a difference, because I like boobies too.” Jungkook pouts, looking at you to help him, but you just laugh, shaking your head.

“You don’t have to kiss everyone, Jungkook, nor do you have to, Yoongi. It’s fine. Even though I’ve got to tell you that Taehyung is an amazing kisser. But maybe, one day it’ll happen. I didn’t kiss Jimin and Namjoon on the same day I kissed Taehyung and Jungkook either. But we have each other, and that’s what prevails.”

Yoongi hasn’t felt that complete in a long time, yet here he is: happy. And strangely enough, he can’t wait to see what the future will bring.

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alj4890 · 4 years ago

Text

Delicate

(Ethan Ramsey x Olivia Nevarkis) (Olivia Nevarkis x Drake Walker) in a Choices The Royal Romance/Open Heart Crackship Series

A/N Picking up directly after Drake's visit and fallout. This will lead into the Christmas season, with Ethan inviting Olivia to spend the holidays with him and his father.

@jooous @krsnlove @nomadics-stuff @twinkleallnight @motorcitymademadame

Masterlist

Part 5

Ethan knew something was wrong. Even without his highly attuned ability to detect the slightest tics and movements people made when dealing with pain, he still would have known that Olivia was upset.

What bothered him was that she felt the need to keep it hidden.

He thought they were well past the stage of not being completely honest. It had been one of the most difficult yet rewarding part of their ever developing relationship. It was terrifying and freeing to be able to tell her anything.

Ethan knew he needed her. He had made it a point to never allow himself to need anyone. He once believed that it was a weakness, something that any sane person should be able to do without. One should be able to stand and face whatever life threw at them without having someone there to help you through it.

Or so he thought until Naveen nearly died.

Then seeing Bryce's reaction when Casey was poisoned.

Those two situations had opened his eyes and made him come to some uncomfortable conclusions about himself.

He was human. And what did all humans share? The ability and need to love...to have someone all their own to be there during life's brightest and darkest moments.

As he finished prepping the turkey breast for tomorrow's dinner, his eyes drifted over to the one he believed was his someone.

He hoped that he had become Olivia's.

"How was your day?"

Olivia shrugged. "Fine for the most part."

Ethan washed his hands then reached for a bottle of wine. Setting two glasses out, he filled them while studying her.

Olivia muttered her thanks when he handed hers to her. She absentmindedly swirled her wine while a slight frown formed.

Ethan reached out and caressed her cheek. When her eyes met his, he allowed her to see his concern.

"Drake came to my apartment earlier." She blurted out.

"He did?" Ethan gestured for them to move into his living room. After settling comfortably on his sofa, he patiently waited for her to continue.

"Yes." She bit out. "He supposedly came on his way to his family's ranch to show me pictures of the progress on the hospital. Her frown eased at that memory. "I can't wait until you see it. It is turning out just like we hoped."

A hint of a smile formed on his lips over this shared dream of theirs coming about. "I can't wait either."

Hearing Ethan say that caused the gnawing worry to grow even more. Was it the beginning of the end for them? Drake's parting words kept repeating over and over her mind. Somehow they seemed more prophetic than insulting the longer she dwelled on them.

"You really think this Ramsey is what you need?" Drake taunted. "One day you'll leave here and he will see the real you in Cordonia. This Boston bubble you're living under is going to pop. What will he do when he sees you as a duchess, mingling amongst the court?"

"You think he'll adore you then? Just wait until he hears all the tales of your years of temper tantrums and cruelty."

"Liv?" Ethan pulled her into his arms. "What happened?"

She didn't want to tell him. She hated this fear Drake had caused in the one area she had come to love. The simple happiness she had found in Boston was now tainted with doubt. He had made her once again hate herself.

Was her act of redemption going to never end? Was she to pay for every word and action she had done for the rest of her life?

Does nothing I do matter?

She closed her eyes tight when Ethan brushed a tender kiss to her furrowed forehead.

I don't deserve someone like him.

His hand rubbed her back in soothing circles while he waited.

Olivia felt tears prick her eyes. He was the only person she had ever known to give her physical comfort. The way he held her as if she was precious to him without trying to turn it into something sexual made her want cry.

She couldn't lose this. Lose him.

But she also couldn't deceive him.

"Ethan," her voice trembled making her hate herself even more for needing him, "You know about my past with Drake."

She felt him tense yet he continued to try and soothe her.

"I do."

She looked up at him and saw his own face etched in worry.

"He...we got into an argument about that and..." It was too hard. She couldn't stand the thought of destroying the way Ethan looked at her. The way he cared for her...

"Olivia," he tried not to let his fear take over of losing her to her former lover, "are you trying to tell me that you..." He couldn't get the words out. He couldn't stand the thought of going back to how his life was before she became a central part of it.

His mind stuttered at that. Medicine had once been his central part. Everything in his adult life had revolved around it. And while it still was a big part of who he was, Olivia had somehow created a niche all her own in that center. Somewhat entwined in it, yet on a personal level, he found that every decision he had made from the moment they met were made about her. From choosing a restaurant she might like to moving to her country to work at her proposed hospital, she had become his life.

Had Drake unknowingly destroyed his life in one brief visit?

"That I what?" She asked.

His blue eyes held her green. "That you want to get back together with Drake?"

Her eyes widened. "Good Lord, no." Her nose wrinkled. "That is the last thing I want."

She felt his arms relax as they cuddled her closer. His forehead dropped against hers as he dealt with the heady relief that her admittance brought.

Realizing he had been scared she was ending things caused a need to reassure him. Her lips met his in a tender kiss. She could feel the deep longing he had for her in his response. He still held her gently as their kiss came to an end.

"What did he say?" Ethan asked.

"He was angry that I don't see the need to keep discussing why our barely a relationship had to end." She bit her lip. "Then he brought up you."

Ethan arched an eyebrow. He had not been around the man enough to form an unbiased opinion. He knew the flare of jealousy was from what he assumed was going to be an attack on his own character in the hopes of stealing Olivia from him.

"What about me?" He didn't bother to hide the annoyance tempering his tone.

"How you'll be when you see me in Cordonia." Olivia averted her eyes. "And how what we have here will be completely destroyed."

His eyes narrowed at such a choice of words. "Why would it be destroyed?"

"Ethan, you," she lowered her head into her hands for a moment. Taking a deep breath, she forced the words out. "You know some of my past already. You've witnessed my temper. But I...I used to be cruel. I've changed these last few years, and it has helped heal relationships I have with some members of the court." She looked up at him to see how he was reacting. "But Drake believes once you hear their stories and see me as the prideful duchess that you will not want to be with me."

"First off," Ethan snapped, "he doesn't know a damn thing about me or how I feel about you. From what I know of you, you deserve to walk into every ballroom with your head held high." He snorted in irritation. "They should be begging for your attention."

Olivia briefly smiled at that. Only he could turn one of her faults into a compliment.

"Secondly, I haven't been known to be the kindest doctor to work with."

"Your patients would disagree."

He huffed. "That's because I work to help them." He pulled her closer within his arms. "Jerk might be the nicest word interns and other medical staff have referred to me." Ethan pressed another kiss to the top of her head. "And my quick temper might give yours a run for its money ." He grinned when he heard her muffled laugh. "And I've never been known for being a forgiving man."

She wrapped her arms around him as she settled her head in the crook of his neck and shoulder. "If anyone tells you about me, then--"

"I know who you are, Olivia." Ethan stressed. "I will never hold your past up as a standard to measure your actions by."

Silent tears slipped down her cheeks.

"Thank you." She whispered.

"Don't thank me." He grumbled. "And don't believe what Drake said." He grimaced as a thought struck. "Though I can imagine why he acted like he did."

She swiped at her stray tears. "You can?"

He nodded before resting his cheek against her head. "Who knows how I would react if this was reversed? I might have lashed out at you in frustration if you refused to give me a second chance."

She lifted her head to see his face.

He met her gaze and softly smiled again. "Especially since I am in love with you."

"You--" her lips parted in surprise, "You are in love with me?

"I am."

Olivia knew in that moment what was truly in her heart. All the questions she had asked herself that morning finally had an answer. And all because Ethan had done the one thing that no man had ever done before.

He did not judge her for her past, her name, anything. He accepted her, faults and all, and loved her for every single part.

"I love you too." She smiled against his lips. "I have never loved anyone like I do you."

Their kiss held a new edge to the usual passion. Having expressed their feelings, the need to show just how much they loved one another took over.

While clothes were beginning to be hastily tossed around the living room, Olivia's phone vibrated softly in her purse.

***************

Hearing the beep, Drake cleared his throat. "I know I am probably the last person you want to talk to but I need to say I'm sorry. I didn't mean any of what I said. I wish..."

He took a deep breath. "I wish you would give me a second chance to show you that I do care the way you wanted me to. I know you're with Ramsey now, but I want to try what you asked me all those months ago. I want to be with you, out in the open."

He lifted his eyes to the ceiling of his hotel room in Kentucky. "I won't keep bothering you. I'll give you time to think it over and wait until the New Year's Eve Ball to hear your answer." He rubbed the back of his neck. "Hana said you told her you'd be back by then. I hope I didn't...didn't ruin what chance I could have."

Pausing once more, he dropped his head in his hand.

"Take care, Libby." He said softly before ending the call.

******************

That night, Oliva felt once more at peace. In the darkness of Ethan's bedroom, she smiled at how he was spooned around her. His slow deep breaths of sleep lulled her even more into the addictive security his presence gave her.

She kept replaying his words of love in her mind. In many ways it surprised her, and yet deep down she thought she must have already known. Every action, every kind word, every kiss had revealed that he had given her his heart. And she in turn had given him hers without even realizing it.

As hard as it was to find some type of silver lining to Drake's hurtful words, she supposed she should be grateful for them. Her sharing it had possibly prompted Ethan to tell her how he felt about her.

She yawned while snuggling back against her doctor. His arms pulled her even closer as he slept.

She felt both exhausted and wired. The day had been filled with one extreme emotion after another. And yet, the words both men had said kept her awake.

Olivia didn't know if she had it in her to forgive Drake. To have someone that you actually trust bring up the worst pieces of yourself as a threat to ruin the one good thing you have...how could he do that to her? She had been hurt when he didn't return her feelings, but this fight today had damaged them to the point that she wasn't sure if she even wanted him as a friend.

I would never say something like that to him if he managed to find happiness with someone else, she thought to herself.

Ethan had been much more understanding of Drake's actions than she could ever be.

She knew it wasn't necessarily a good thing that she never gave people second chances. Why would she after all the betrayals she had suffered in life? She barely needed both hands to count the number of people she had over the years that had never betrayed her.

Had Drake entered into the category she kept for her parents, Lucretia, Constantine, and numerous nobles at court?"

I don't know, she thought. I don't know how I feel over what he did.

She thought about his voicemail. It didn't matter how sincere Drake sounded or that he now wanted to try. His apology seemed hollow. Perhaps it was because he truly didn't know her now. These months in Boston had changed her, possibly even more than she realized.

She wasn't the same proud duchess that had once sworn vengeance to anyone who opposed her. She had learned the difficult art of give and take. She made herself listen and think through everything before losing her temper or forming a hard decision. It had been an ongoing battle, but she felt that she had a somewhat better control than she once had. Today's fight with Drake had proved that she wasn't the same quick tempered, plan to skewer a person on the edge of her dagger she had once been. She had stepped out of her comfort zone and lived for the most part as a normal person, proving to herself that she truly could survive on her own in any situation.

This venture had shown her that she was more than what her ancestors had stressed a Nevarkis should be. The people in Cordonia would most likely still see her as her old self, but she knew and it seemed that Ethan did also who she truly was. Her strength, her refusal to back down from a fight, her very heart had been used for good.

Drake didn't see it. He never saw the potential she had to do something meaningful and right. Maybe it was because she hadn't allowed him to do so. Maybe they really never had a chance to see the best in one another.

Could we have found a way to happiness if we had not spent years torturing each other with our spiteful words?

Deciding that that was a thought that would probably never be answered, she closed her eyes and eventually drifted off to sleep.

********************

Weeks went by too quickly for some and not nearly fast enough for others. Edenbrook had closed its doors leaving many with bittersweet emotions. Ethan, Naveen, and Olivia had spent what free time they had packing and shipping their personal belongings to Cordonia. Decisions were made for the two doctors to stay with her in Lythikos while they searched for homes of their own.

While rushing about, Amanda and Thomas came to help a week before Christmas.

On their second night together, the ladies sent Ethan and Thomas to get dinner, giving them a moment to talk alone.

"Did you come for me or for the snow?" Olivia teased when Amanda insisted the two of them take a break from packing and go for a walk.

"Since you have always had the best snow," Amanda replied with a twinkle of mischief, "I always come for you."

She laughed when Olivia snorted.

"Are you excited?" She prodded as their boots crunched in the snow.

"About finally seeing the new hospital?" Olivia linked her arm through Amanda's when they entered a nearby park. "Of course."

"I am too." Amanda took a deep breath and cut her eyes toward her friend. "And I am very excited to see you and a certain doctor together at the New Year Eve's ball."

Olivia didn't bother to mask how happy she was. "I have something to tell you."

"Oh?"

"Ethan, he...on Thanksgiving, he admitted he is in love with me."

"About time." Amanda grumbled playfully. "Each time I visit, I see just how much he does love you."

Olivia stopped their progress through a path of lighted trees. "You knew all this time? Why didn't you tell me?"

Amanda's laughter at the death glint in Olivia's eyes echoed across the park. "Because you would have dismissed it like you always have whenever I brought up heartfelt emotions."

She placed a hand on her hip and somehow did a convincing impression of Olivia. "Please. No man can truly capture a Nevarkis heart, much less make me willing to be his," Amanda managed to twist her lips in disgust like Olivia's as she flicked her hand in a very recognizable gesture, "love slave."

Olivia rolled her eyes while struggling with her laughter. "I don't sound like that."

"Not now that you're in looovvve." Amanda responded playfully.

"Why do I share things with you?" Olivia muttered.

"Because you love me." Amanda wrapped her arm around her. "Not as much as you love Ethan, but I can live with that."

Olivia snorted again as she tried to brush it off. As hard as she tried, a soft smile formed on her lips. "You're right."

"I am happy you both know how you feel about one another." Amanda's teasing turned serious. "It would have driven you crazy with trying to guess."

"I suppose it would have irritated me." Olivia admitted.

“I know it would have driven me insane watching you both tiptoe around the issue.” Amanda grumbled.

“It surprised me.” Olivia admitted.

“It did? Why?”

“I--I suppose I didn’t expect it to happen.” She felt embarrassed just saying it. “I don’t think I ever thought I would meet someone to feel like that... I never thought of any of it happening to me.”

Amanda's heart ached at realizing just how damaged Olivia still was over her parents. Nothing hurt her more than seeing her friend still believe that she was unworthy of love. To be this surprised over a man falling in love with her proved how much she doubted herself. Perhaps it was why Olivia continuously pushed herself to serve Cordonia in any way possible. It might be why she never backed away from danger.

Compliments and recognition had been the closest she had to receiving love in her life

Amanda felt herself adoring Ethan even more for showing Olivia that she herself was loveable. She wasn't the prickly cactus that she had given Liam at his coronation. She had a tender heart, one that any person would be lucky to earn.

"I love him." Olivia broke into Amanda's musings. "It's different from what I once felt for Liam."

Amanda squeezed her in a side hug. "One sided love usually is different. Having someone give their heart to you and work in the hopes of you giving them theirs, I can't think of a greater gift than that."

Olivia nodded. "Ethan does that. I thought that maybe after we admitted our feelings that he would slack off trying to," her brow furrowed at trying to find the words.

"Sweep you off your feet?"

"Yes." Olivia's nose wrinkled out of habit over something so sappy. "He now seems to work even harder to not only keep my love but to make me love him even more."

"Good." Amanda linked her arm through hers again. "He better or he will have me to deal with."

Olivia burst into laughter. "And what will you do if he doesn't?"

Amanda's smile grew. "Don't worry. I've been trained by the best on how to torture a man." She winked at her friend. "You always did give the most interesting lessons."

*****************

Christmas was approaching and with it, Ethan invited Olivia to drive to Providence to spend Christmas with him and his father.

She was both excited and extremely nervous to meet his one family member he had a relationship with.

She was completely out of her depth in this situation. She had never had a man invite her to, "meet the parents,". She knew though how big this was for Ethan to include her in his family's Christmas tradition.

He seemed so happy, so proud, to introduce her to his father.

The drive over had been filled with his sharing some of his childhood memories. Her hand had remained in his as she watched the play of emotions on his face. He was opening up to her again, showing how much he trusted her with these bits of himself.

The modest, in need of a new coat of paint home had surprised her. She didn't know why she expected Ethan to have had a childhood a tad more luxurious than this. He seemed so cultured at times, that it impressed her even more that he had learned all of it on his own.

Ethan's father, Alan, had come outside to welcome her while helping with their luggage.

The genuine delight in the elder's face at meeting the woman his son had brought home made her feel slightly giddy. He teased Ethan with saying he had not done nearly enough in describing how pretty she was.

"I did." Ethan teased back. "You just didn't pay attention."

The three shared a meal with Olivia watching in fascination at their closeness. So many of her friends either had parents dead or were not close to them at all. This was something entirely new.

Alan had charmed her into sharing a little about herself. His understanding smile and deep laugh had made her relax. After dinner he pulled her away from the table while ordering Ethan to do the dishes.

"You're taking her to the mantle aren't you?" Ethan grumbled while fighting a smile.

"Don't worry what we're doing." Alan reciprocated. "Just make sure to soak that pan before putting it in the dishwasher."

Olivia allowed herself to be ushered into the small den. A Christmas tree stood with slightly old ornaments next to a warm crackling fire. Her gaze lifted to the different sized picture frames on the mantle.

Picking up one that seemed to be the oldest, Alan handed it to her. "This was a few weeks after Ethan was born."

Olivia's lips curved at seeing what looked like any other baby. She studied each picture he handed her, giving her glimpses into Ethan's life. Her smile grew at a photo of a ten year old Ethan smiling while puppies crawled all over him.

She then noticed the woman in the background.

"That's his mom." Alan's joy seemed to dim some. "She had been the one to decide we go to a nearby farm to let Ethan choose a puppy for his birthday."

Olivia studied the image of the woman who had so easily left her husband and son.

How could she do that to him?

The sound of Ethan returning caused Alan to quickly switch the picture for another one.

"Here he is with his first car."

"Dad." Ethan grumbled good naturedly. "I'm sure Olivia doesn't want to go down through every mundane event in my life."

"I do." Olivia blurted out. Heat flooded her cheeks. "I like seeing your childhood."

Alan beamed at her. "Here's one of my favorites. He was around five years old and had opened a clinic for stuffed animals."

"Did he?" Olivia cocked an eyebrow at Ethan.

"I'll have you know that I save many from losing their limbs." Ethan smiled at her laughter. "I had to since most of the injuries my toys suffered were from my rigorous playing."

The three sat down and began to talk about Ethan moving to Cordonia.

"You will have to visit." Olivia insisted. "You will always be welcome in Lythikos."

"I plan to." Alan stood and stretched. "I think I'll leave you two to get some sleep." He patted Ethan's shoulder then squeezed Olivia's hand. "I'm so happy you're both here."

Ethan settled his arm again around Olivia once they were left alone in companionship silence.

"Your father is very kind."

He chuckled. "Yes, I know. Nothing like me."

She smirked at him. "Don't sell yourself short. You have your moments."

"I do, huh?"

"I think so." She snuggled closer within his arms.

Smiling to himself, Ethan reached into his pocket.

"Olivia?"

"Hmm?"

He held a box out to her.

She sat up with a start when her eyes fell upon the little velvet box.

"I think you know what I'm about to ask." Ethan said softly as he opened it for her.

Carefully lifting the diamond ring that sparkled in the firelight, he paused right at the tip of her finger.

"You know how much I love you." His vulnerability was once more on display. "You make my life better than I thought possible. I need you, your passion, your heart." He glanced down at her hand trembling in his grasp. “I can’t imagine a life without you by my side.”

His bright blue eyes lifted once more to her green ones shimmering with unshed tears.

"Olivia, will you marry me?"

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