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hickeygender · 4 years ago

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You’re (Probably) Drawing Archers Wrong

Hello, my name is Len and I’ve shot archery as a hobby for as long as I can remember. I have a problem: fanart depicting archery is oftentimes Very Wrong! I feel like most of this stems from not using good reference pictures, and from a general lack of knowledge. So, I wanted to create a post for anyone interested in accurately drawing an archer! Disclaimer: this is not a comprehensive post or a tutorial on how to shoot, and is intended for artists. That said, if you’re interested in archery, you may still find value in this post, though I recommend doing your own research. I’m certain there will be errors here considering I do this as a hobby not a profession, and I welcome corrections. Finally, archery can be dangerous, and even if you don’t read any more of this post, PLEASE read the safety section.

Safety

This part is going to be a PSA, because the thought of someone reading my post, getting into archery themselves, and doing these things? It terrifies me. So, rules number one, two, and three are: never aim at another person (duh), never use a damaged bow or arrows, and never, NEVER dry fire a bow. Dry firing means drawing back and releasing the string without an arrow. This can make your bow EXPLODE. It can hurt you, and even if your bow doesn’t explode, it’s fucked it up so bad that you should never shoot that bow again. Don’t do it, and don’t draw art of people doing it. Okay, PSA done, now onto the rest of the post.

There’s a TL;DR at the bottom!

First thing’s fist: the equipment! Archery requires four things: a bow, a quiver, arrows, and protective equipment (which is usually what I see most posts lacking). The first thing you should do before you draw your archer is decide what type of bow to give them. I’m not covering crossbows because I’ve only shot one once and I also Hate Them. There are three main types of bows: longbows, recurves, and compounds.

Bows

There are two different types of bows that are commonly called a longbow: English longbows, and flatbows (yes I’m considering flatbows a type of longbow to simplify things). English longbows are very large and have a very high draw weight (which means it’s hard to pull the sting back). These were used mainly by the English in the Middle Ages. Flatbows are typically smaller and have a lower draw weight as well as a slightly different profile. These were mainly used by Native American tribes such as the Hupa, the Karuk, and the Wampanoag, as well as prehistoric Europeans and the Finnish, among others. It is often seen in historical fiction and fantasy, and the English longbow is usually depicted as Robin Hood’s preferred bow type. I believe Katniss uses a flatbow in the beginning of Hunger Games, but don’t quote me on that.

Recurves have limbs that curve outwards and are smaller than longbows. Many, many cultures have used these, including but not limited to certain West-coast Native American tribes, the Mongols, the Scythians, the Greeks, the Turks, the Koreans, and the Chinese. Recurves can be made of either wood or of a combination of wood, horn, and glue, making them either composite or non-composite. These are the bows you typically see mounted archers using, and are often used in competitions today. It’s commonly seen in fantasy, and is the bow type used by Legolas, Tauriel, Katniss Everdeen in Mockingjay, Merida, Green Arrow has a lever action, and Hawkeye uses a silly collapsible one.

Compound bows are the most commonly used bow among hunters, are almost always made of fiberglass and either carbon fiber or aluminum, are Technical Looking, and pack the biggest punch for the least amount of effort. It’s a modern invention used worldwide. I don’t know where else to put this, but almost everyone who I know that shoots a compound uses something called a trigger release (pictured below) to draw back the string because it means your release is cleaner.

So, those are the main types of bow! Google which bow would be appropriat for the era and region your character is from, or if they’re from space or an alternate dimension, pick whichever you think fits the character the best.

Quivers

There are two types of quiver: back quivers, like Legolas wears, and hip quivers, like those used in the Olympics. Which quiver you should use varies from culture to culture and time period to time period. If it’s fantasy, set in modern day, or set in the future, you can chose whichever you prefer.

Arrows

Arrows can have shafts of wood or fiberglass, can have real feathers or synthetic for fletching, and can have countless different types of heads. The main two that are in use today are called field points and broadheads, and most commercial arrow shafts allow you to freely switch them out.

The arrow on the top is a field point, used only for target practice, and the arrow on the bottom is a broadhead, used only for hunting or war. You never hunt with a field point, and never practice with a broadhead. Basically every fictional character out there is shooting to kill, so they’ll all use either a broadhead, or a culturally appropriate variation of deadly arrowhead (bodkin, scythian, flint, etc). Do your research! A Native American wouldn’t use a bodkin, and a Scythian wouldn’t use a flint arrowhead!

Protective Equipment

The one really necessary piece of protective equipment is hand protection. If your character uses a three fingered draw or a pinch draw (we’ll speak on draws later), they need either an archery tab, or an archery glove. If your character is using a thumb draw, they need a thumb ring. These three pieces of equipment keep archers from getting blisters and damaged skin.

This is a tab.

This is the type of glove that I use. All an archery glove needs to do is protect your three draw fingers, but it can be more traditionally glove-like than this one. I’ve even seen ones that are a combination leather bracer and archery glove that give big Fantasy Vibes.

This is a ring. Some historical ones can get REAL ornate and pretty.

Another piece of protective equipment that is commonly used is an arm guard or a bracer. Not everyone uses one, because if your form is good the string should not be hitting your arm, so you can get away with not giving your character one. They can vary in style from something like the more minimal one below up to a full leather bracer.

Form

Form can vary greatly and I’m not about to diss other archery disciplines especially ones I’m ignorant on, so just know that not every culture has the same form. I’m just going to cover a few cultures’ variations, and what I’ve been taught by 21st century Midwest archers. There are several aspects to form, as form is just another term for “everything pertaining to how you shoot”. I’m going to break it down into stance, posture, draw, elbow discipline, holding the bow, and anchor. These are not the only aspects of form (there’s aiming, release, and breath control), but these are the only relevant aspects to drawing archers. I will not be covering mounted archery because I’m sadly ignorant on the topic. I recommend doing your own research and looking into Mongolian mounted archery.

Stance

The thing all stances have in common is that you should put your feet a shoulder-length apart, balance your weight equally between both feet, keep your knees slightly bent, and stand facing approximately 90 degrees away from your target. There are three stances that are common that I’m aware of: squared, open, and closed.

Squared stance means keeping both feet squared up to an imaginary line. Open means that you’re facing slightly towards the target. Closed means you’re facing slightly away. I vary between square and open, and to be honest I’ve never noticed a difference. So long as you draw your character standing with a stable stance, facing away from the target, you should be good.

Posture

Your posture should be with your back straight, your hips squared, and should never have you leaning. Below is one of my favorite archery pictures, not only because I love Marilyn, but because it is a great illustration of what not to do posture wise.

See how she’s leaning back? Yeah, don’t draw your character like that, it looks foolish.

Draw

There are four different types of draw that I’m aware of, I’m educated on three, and I have experience with one (though I’m itching to learn to thumb draw). The types of draw are three fingered draw, otherwise known as Mediterranean draw, pinch draw, thumb draw aka Mongolian draw, and Japanese draw, or torikake. I know fuck all about Japanese draws, so I’m not going to speak out of my ass on topics I don’t understand (if anyone reading practices traditional Japanese archery I would love if you chimed in!). I highly recommend doing your own research on which civilization your character comes from and which draw they use, especially if it’s Japanese because I’m not covering that here.

First up is three-fingered. This is the draw I use, and it’s the most common draw in my limited experience in the Midwestern archery community. It is common in Europe and the Middle East. It requires you to use three fingers, partially wrapped around the string. You do not pinch the arrow. Most people place their index finger above the arrow and their middle and ring finger below, though I’ve seen all different variations. If your character is right handed and uses this draw, draw the arrow on the left side of the bow. Lefties do the inverse, and make sure and draw a left handed bow while you’re at it.

Next is the pinch draw. I’ve never shot with this, nor seen it used. It was common in the Americas and for a time in Ancient Greece. You’re supposed to physically pinch the arrow between your thumb and index finger. Your character would need a full archery glove if you draw them with this grip. The release is supposed to be smooth because there’s only one point of contact, rather than three. I believe you would place the arrow on the right side of the bow when using this technique, but I cannot speak with certainty as I’ve never seen it done (again, lefties would do the opposite).

Last but not least is the thumb or Mongolian draw, though it is/was also widespread in Korea, China, Russia, Persia, Turkey, and the Roman and Byzantine Empires. In this draw you wrap your thumb completely around the string and tuck it behind your other fingers. You do not grab the arrow. This draw utilizes your strongest digit, and so it may be less strenuous than other draws. This draw is commonly used with mounted archery. If your character is right handed and using this draw, put the arrow on the right side of the bow (lefties, do the inverse).

Elbows

Another aspect of your draw that is important is elbow discipline. The elbow of your character’s string hand should not point up into the air. It should point straight back, like the picture below.

Now, the other elbow is important, too. Don’t draw them with a locked elbow, instead keep it slightly bent and rotated inwards, like the picture below.

Holding the Bow

Your character shouldn’t have a death grip on the bow. Instead, show it resting in the curve between the thumb and index finger. Here’s a wikihow article that describes the different ways to hold different types of bows that is more succinct than I could ever be. Ignore the crossbow (derogatory).

Anchor

Everyone needs an anchor. What’s an anchor, you ask? An anchor is a fixed spot that you draw your string back to whenever you’re going to shoot. It’s necessary in order to ensure consistency, which is accuracy’s best friend. Your anchor spot can vary. I anchor at the corner of my lip. Some people anchor underneath their chin. Some anchor to their ear. I’ve even seen some people in Asian disciplines anchor behind the ear or almost above the head, which is incredibly impressive. Bottom line, unless your character’s archery discipline has them draw behind the ear or above the head, you need to have them touching their head somewhere. The only wrong anchor is a short anchor. If you can’t draw the string back far enough to touch your face, that means you’re either trying to draw back a bow with too high a poundage, or the draw length is too short for you. The picture above of the person with the compound trigger release has a good anchor point on their face. The picture of the person with the arm guard has a good anchor point under their chin.

This person, on the other hand? Their anchor is out in space, that is to say they don’t have one (also their elbow discipline, posture, and stance are atrocious). I see this in fanart ALL THE TIME. It’s a pet peeve of mine. Don’t do this, have them anchor to their head or behind it somewhere.

Carrying The Bow

The best way is to just carry it in your hand by the bow (not the string). You can give your character a bow sling, or a back mount like Legolas has as well. You can slip the string over your shoulder and wear it across your back in a pinch, though this may damage the string. The only really wrong way to carry a bow is by the string, though you can damage your bow carrying it on your back if you’re stupid, and I’ve never tried to do so with a compound. Too pokey.

TL;DR

If you’re drawing a fantasy character, go buck wild. Still make sure to give them the right type of arrowhead, hand protection of some sort, a strong stance (no kneeling or sitting), good posture, a sensible draw, elbow discipline, an anchor point (don’t be like the person above!), and a good way to carry their bow, but you can have fun with the rest. If you’re drawing a character from history, research the archery discipline they would most likely use, and draw them with the appropriate bow type, quiver, arrows, protective equipment, stance, posture, draw, elbow discipline, anchor, and bow carry.

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high-functioning-lokipath · 4 years ago

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Strange Times - Dr. Steven Strange x Reader - Words: 2,225

A/N: Hope you enjoy it! Sorry if Dr. Strange is a bit OOC because I'm not SUPER experienced with his character but I wanted to give him a shot! Hope you like my other fandom references 😜 Let me know if you pick up on them!

"Y/N," Hawkeye said, walking up to you. "You've got a mission." Your eyebrows raised dramatically as you lifted your gaze from the bowl of cereal you were currently consuming.��

"Me?" You asked mid-chew. Clint rolled his eyes at your manners, or lack thereof, but nodded.

"You're ready," He assured you. Him, along with the other Avengers, had been training you now for the past few months. While your control over your power had greatly improved, you still weren't completely confident in yourself. "All it involves is catching a guy who'd been working in Research and Development on one of Stark's projects. He apparently decided he could get more money if he stole it and sold it to the other side so we need to catch him before the deal goes through. He should be landing in Madrid now. The deal is set for tomorrow morning. You have until then."

"Okay," You said slowly. "I guess I'll get ready then?"

"Yep!" He chirped, grinning brightly. You grumbled about the lack of prep time and stalked away trying to hide your nerves. You got dressed and left in record time. The small jet you'd been assigned for your mission had the location pre-entered, thanks again to Hawkeye, so you reviewed the file during the flight.

"Great!" You groaned, going off on a rant to yourself as you kept reading. "He's stolen an unstable prototype of a personal time travel device! How was this guy not checked out before? Matt Smith doesn't sound suspicious at all!" The computer on the jet beeped at you and you saw that you were approaching the landing site. Quickly putting the file away, you prepared for the inevitable confrontation. Once you landed you carefully made your way to the small hotel Smith was supposedly staying in for the night. Your first obstacle, of course, was persuading the clerk to let you look at the guest list. Once you did, however, you quickly snuck up to his room on the 3rd floor and went in.

"Well well well," You heard someone say once the door closed behind you. You whipped around and saw a shadowy figure in the corner. "I mustn't have made a very strong impression if the Avengers sent me fresh meat. Poor girl. You have no idea what you're up against do you?" He flicked a light on and you saw the prototype in his hand.

"You're right. I don't. But neither do you," You retorted. Concentrating on the barriers of the room, you lifted the gravity in it while keeping yourself grounded. "You have no idea what I'm capable of," You smirked. "So why don't we make this easier on the both of us and you hand it over now?"

"Well, you make a good argument. But how about no?" He smirked back. You felt a click around your wrists and were suddenly pulled back against the wall. "I have heard of you, my dear," He sneered. "So I was well prepared for any of you." As he revealed the small propulsion device he was wearing, he started gliding towards you, no longer affected by the lack of gravity in the room. "I don't really want to hurt you," he said. "I just want you to watch as everything you've ever known is destroyed!" As he continued monologuing, you noticed orange sparks appearing behind him. At first you thought he was activating the device. But moments later, the sparks turned into a circular portal and a tall man with a red cape stepped through.

"Hand over the proto-whoa!" He yelled as he was inadvertently affected by your gravity manipulation when he entered the room. His cape though seemed to react and started flapping, pushing him back towards the ground. "As I was saying," He said, clearing his throat and trying to regain his dignity. "Hand it over."

"Why should I, Strange? Of what use is it to you?"

"Doctor Strange!" You thought. "That's who he is!" You'd heard of him before but had never met or seen him. While you did wonder why he was there, you were awfully glad for the help.

"I was bored and needed some entertainment," He shrugged. "Now if you don't mind, I'll be taking that now." Strange reached out to grab the device out of the man's hand but you noticed Smith was going to try to fly away. You quickly adjusted the gravity again, keeping everyone on the ground.

"Hey!" Smith yelled. "That's not nice!" You rolled your eyes and Strange easily snatched the device from him. Smith struggled to reach for it but Strange smirked.

"Be a dear?" He said to, apparently, his cape. The cape flew off his back and curled it's one corner around the device. It then hovered up near the ceiling, out of reach.

"So that's why Stark said his costume was creepy," You thought, chuckling lightly. Strange glanced at you oddly but didn't address it.

"Could you-" He trailed off, motioning slightly around him.

"Oh! Sure!" You replied quickly, letting the gravity return to normal. Smith immediately tried to get away but Strange pulled out an odd glowy rope and whipped it around him effectively restraining him for the moment.

"Not so fast," He said to the man. Turning to you he motioned for you to come closer. He made short work of the cuffs on your wrists before transferring them to Smith' own hands. "Ok, off you go," He said, opening a portal in front of the man. He unceremoniously shoved him through and closed it behind him. "He'll be taken care of," Strange said to you, motioning for the cape to return to him. He then handed the prototype back to you.

"Thanks," You mumbled, feeling quite silly that you couldn't handle the mission on your own. "Why did you come here anyways? Did Stark or one of the others send you?"

"No, I came on my own. You see, I keep a watch list of individuals and beings from all realms that may be a threat to this world. When Mr. Matt Smith there stole that device, he jumped to the top."

"Oh," You said. "Well, I suppose I'd better get back. I'll probably need to debrief and should probably train a bit more so I can handle myself better next time."

"You did fairly well for someone without much experience although you certainly need more training." You rolled your eyes at his statement. Having heard of his reputation for being snarky, however, you weren't all that fazed. "Perhaps you would like to come to the Sanctum with me? I'm quite sure we have a book that could help you." Now that surprised you. You didn't expect him to be nice at all. Maybe he's not as bad as Loki said he was.

"So, is the Sanctum a fancy library and you're the fancy librarian?" You joked. He laughed and shook his head.

"The Sanctum is much more than that and Wong is the fancy librarian!" He grinned. He opened a portal in front of you that, apparently, led to the Sanctum. Before stepping through it, though, you remembered your own transportation.

"Oh! Actually I have a jet I came in. Can we take that back? I just know I'll be read the riot act if I leave it behind," You said.

"That would be fine," He replied. "Besides, it will give us more time to get to know each other better." A light blush rose to your cheeks as you followed the Doctor out.

"Am I crazy or is he flirting with me?" You thought. "Crazy, definitely crazy." As you kept walking, your internal monologue also continued. "He is quite handsome though," you mused. "Kinda looks like that guy from the tv show BFF/N watches."

"Nice cape," You commented, trying to make conversation. The cape seemed to bristle at your comment and he smoothed it softly at his side.

"It's a cloak, not a cape. And it's the Cloak of Levitation, an ancient relic."

"Oh," You said quietly. "Sorry."

"Quite alright. It's easily confused to the untrained eye." He paused for a moment before adding, "And thank you." You smiled slightly and continued walking in silence.

"So what's your name?" He asked, once you got in the jet.

"My name-name? Or my made-up name?"

"Both," He replied, entering the Sanctum's address into the computer.

"Well, my name is Y/F/N, but I go by Andromeda Nova, or Nova for short."

"Not bad," He said, sitting down in one of the chairs. "So tell me about yourself, Nova." He'd taken off his cape before he sat and now it was hovering near him.

"Alright," You said nervously. You were slightly intimidated by the more experienced superhero who suddenly seemed to be interrogating you but you went ahead with telling him your story of how you got your powers.

"So you went to the Avengers for help?"

"Yes. I had no idea how to control it and, well, everyone that I had been friends with before were afraid of me except for BFF/N." You giggled slightly and smirked. "I guess you could say you met me at a very strange time in my life." He laughed heartily at your pun and you relaxed a bit. As you continued telling him about your training with the Avengers, you decided to take off your own cape and tossed it over a nearby chair. Eventually, however, you got tired of just hearing your own voice since he kept asking you questions rather than speak himself. "Do you mind if I put on some music while we talk?"

"Oh not at all!" He replied excitedly. You grabbed the tablet that controlled the sound system and scrolled through the library.

"Any preferences, Strange?"

"Whatever you want." You nodded and scrolled a bit more before finally hitting shuffle on one of your favorite playlists. "And, you can call me Stephen if you want." Seconds after the song started, he smirked.

"Waka Waka, Shakera, 2010." Your jaw dropped, eyebrows raising comically. "Surprised?" You nodded, speechless. "Let's try another, shall we? Computer, next song." The next song started and now it was your turn to grin. Just before he opened his mouth, you beat him to it.

"Ride, Twenty One Pilots, 2015. Computer, next song." He raised one eyebrow, impressed, before closing his eyes to concentrate on the next song.

"Just The Way You Are, Bruno Mars, 2010," You said at the same time. He smiled widely and let the song continue for the moment. Seeing movement out of the corner of your eye, you got up to look, almost doubling over in a fit of giggles.

"Should we be concerned?" You asked the doctor, who seemed just as shocked as you when he walked over to see what you were looking at. Apparently Cloak had gotten the dancing bug and decided your cape would make an excellent partner.

"I have no idea," He replied, biting back a laugh. "It's been a while since he's been with another cape, so," He trailed off, both of you laughing once again. "Wait, is yours a cape or a cloak?"

"Whatever it is, he likes it!" You exclaimed, watching the odd waltz continue. Once your laughter calmed, you noticed he was staring at you. You cleared your throat and looked at him questioningly. "That, um, that's a lovely dress. A, uh, very nice color," He said quickly, stumbling over his words.

"Uh-huh, sure," You said, sarcastically.

"Really! It is!" He cried, embarrassed that you caught him staring.

"Yeah, well, my BFF keeps saying it's the same color as Sherlock's purple shirt of-woah!" You suddenly were thrown off balance as Cloak flew over and shoved you toward Stephen, who, of course, caught you before you fell.

"I'm so sorry," He quickly said. "Apparently he needs a reminder that, while he is the Cloak of Levitation, he's not my wingman." He said the last part in almost a hiss, directed at the offending object. Cloak shrugged and, if it had eyes, you were sure it would have rolled them.

"It's quite alright," You assured him. Realizing you were still in his arms you blushed brightly. "Maybe I should-"

"The music's still playing," He interrupted.

"And?"

"May I have this dance?" He smirked.

"I suppose," You sighed. "But only because I think you'll be a better partner than capey over there." Cloak, who was still nearby, reached out to whack you for your comment. Strange quickly whipped open a portal instead in front of the fabric and you heard a yell from the other side before Cloak quickly retreated and he closed it.

"Who was that?" You asked.

"Cloak may or may not have just accidentally slapped Wong's backside." Cloak crossed what you supposed was his arms and had the audacity to look upset. You shook your head and chuckled lightly.

"I have a strange feeling we'll get along just fine," You smiled, holding your hands out to him for your dance. He smiled back and took your hands, swaying gently to the music.

"Only time will tell."

In An Unidentified Location Only One Portal Away

Matt takes a look around to make sure no one is watching him. "Well, it would seem my work here is done," He said, grinning to himself. "Toodle-oo!"

Marvel (all characters) Taglist

@bartv21

@another-crazy-fangirl

@whatafuckingdumbass

@ladylulu143

@lokislittlesigyn

@gaitwae

#marvel #avengers #dr. strange x reader #dr. strange imagine #dr. strange #strange x reader #doctor strange #doctor strange x reader #stephen strange x reader #dr stephen strange #dr stephen Strange x reader

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angryhausfrau-writes · 4 years ago

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Still Living With Your Ghost

Hawkeye shows up on BJ's front porch one year, two months, three days, and seven hours after the Korean war ends. And he looks - Jesus, he looks rough. Tired and pale and wearing army boots and his blue Hawaiian shirt. He looks like a ghost.

BJ can't not invite him in, even though it's the middle of the night and Hawkeye can't really seem to explain what he's doing in California beyond something about wanting to see palm trees. So BJ gets him tucked into bed in his and Peg's unused guest room – still mostly empty even though the house has been finished for a while now. But it doesn't appear to matter much to Hawkeye, he passes out pretty much the minute his head hits the pillow.

BJ wakes up the next morning, sure that all of this had been a particularly vivid dream. But there Hawkeye sits, in BJ's living room, flipping and flipping and flipping through the television channels at whatever ungodly hour Erin has decided is morning.

BJ rubs the sleep out of his eyes. “Morning, Hawk. Sleep well?”

“Morning, BJ.” Hawkeye springs up from the sofa, like he used to spring out of his army cot. Like he's just been sitting there, waiting for BJ to wake up so he can drag him into whatever mischief he's dreamed up.

But this isn't Korea. BJ doesn't play those kind of pranks anymore.

And it doesn't look like Hawkeye is going to answer BJ's question. So BJ just works on getting the coffee percolating and making sure Erin doesn't throw cream of wheat all over the kitchen.

Peg drifts out of their bedroom a little later, takes a piece of toast from the table, kisses BJ on the cheek, collects Erin out of her high chair, and breezes out the door. Off to meet with a client, probably. Which means that BJ's stuck staring at a fidgeting Hawkeye from across the table, silence stretching awkward and molasses thick between them.

“So, uh, how you been, Hawk?” BJ thumbs at a chip in the Formica of the table top.

“Oh, you know. Busy. Doctoring.” Hawkeye is looking wildly around the kitchen and he hasn't touched any of the food on his plate. “Looks like you've really been living the high life here, Beej. Look at this place! Nice, real nice, BJ. You're a lucky guy.”

“Yeah, yeah I sure am.”

“And you're still a surgeon? Working at a hospital and everything?” Hawkeye's now looking intently at a point just slightly to the left of BJ's eyes, expression fixed in something that could be described as a smile, maybe.

“Yep. Nothing as exciting as Korea, though. I took out a gallstone two days ago, and that's been the highlight of my week.”

Hawkeye laughs, too loud and too sharp. And he's back to looking wildly around the kitchen, peering into the living room, rocking sideways in his chair far enough to almost overbalance. “That's nice. Not exciting is nice. Boring. Quiet.”

“Yep.”

Hawkeye is now tearing his paper napkin to little shreds that he's sprinkling over his eggs like snow.

“Look, Hawk. Not that it's not great to see you and all. But what are you doing here?”

Hawkeye goes back to staring at the point just slightly to the side of BJ's face. “Oh, you know. Thought I'd drop in on my good buddy. And see some sun, some sandy beaches – you're a little lacking on both fronts here, Beej. I confess myself disappointed. This isn't the California all those travel brochures promised me. Swimsuits and suntans. Palm trees.” Hawkeye waves his arms wide, gaze rocketing around the kitchen. “Where are they, BJ? Where are the palm trees?”

BJ laughs. “You're a little far north for that kind of thing. We mostly have rain and fog.”

Hawkeye nods. Grimaces. “I hate the rain. We spent years and years and years in the rain. Or the snow. So many years.” Hawkeye's staring again. “You know how cold it gets in northern Maine? I want. I wanted some sun, you know? A change of scenery.”

“Well, since you're in California already, you could drive south, you know. It's a ways, but you could go find a beach and some palm trees, like you said.”

Privately, BJ thinks a little sun would do Hawkeye a world of good. He's looking even paler than usual. Wan. Tired. Like he hasn't been sleeping.

“Yeah? You think so?” And Hawkeye looks up at BJ with such hope in his eyes. It's blinding. Terrifying.

So that's how BJ finds himself in the family station wagon with Hawkeye lounging practically sideways on the front seat, staring out the rainy window at San Francisco as they head south on Route 5 towards warmer climes.

“You know, I've never been to San Francisco,” Hawkeye says conversationally. They're driving through down town, and the tall edifices bear down on them like giants. Hawkeye has to keep his neck craned up, up, up to get even a glimpse of the gunmetal sky. “I've been to San Diego. Spent a whole weekend there when I was in med school. But I never quite made it to San Francisco, somehow. Surprising, I know...” Hawkeye trails off with a vague gesture.

“It's a nice city,” BJ says, inanely. But he's not quite sure what's happening here. And small talk is about all that's left to him.

Hawkeye smiles, sharp as a knife. And there's something lurking there behind his eyes that BJ can't identify. “I'm sure it is.”

They drive in silence for a while.

Suddenly, Hawkeye's head snaps down and to a street that runs towards the bay. “What's down there, Beej?” He asks it almost desperately.

“Uh, the docks I think.”

Hawkeye nods. Tips his head towards the ocean like he's listening to something far away. His eyes skitter over the dashboard desperate and wild.

“Lotta kids shipped out of those docks the last two wars,” Hawkeye says, apropos of nothing that BJ can understand. “Lotta kids who never got to come back home.”

“Uh, yeah. Though I guess they were hard up enough for doctors that they sent me over on a plane instead.”

Hawkeye nods distractedly, knee jostling against the passenger door. He's staring out the window again.

“Hey, Beej, pull over will ya? I really need a drink.” He gestures at a bar that BJ probably wouldn't have even noticed if Hawkeye hadn't pointed it out. BJ pulls over. He could use a drink himself. He'd forgotten how – how strange and alluring and difficult Hawkeye could be.

The bar is dead this time of day. Empty except for a few older men who look like they've probably been sitting on those same bar stools for the past decade or so.

Sitting at a shadowed corner table with a bottle of bottom shelf gin and BJ can almost believe he's back in the Swamp. That no time at all has passed since Korea. Hawkeye is certainly drinking like that's true. It's almost nice, the nostalgia that's carried on gin fumes.

And Hawkeye has calmed down a little as he sits there, no longer looking like he's going to crawl out of his skin. In fact, he looks almost wistful as BJ chatters on about Peg and Erin and his life in Mill Valley. Though what part of all that it is he longs for, BJ doesn't know. He'd never expressed much interest in marriage or kids before. But maybe he's finally looking to settle down.

BJ muses on the impossibility of a settled Hawkeye while the real one heads off to the bathroom. The bar has filled up in the intervening hours and it's hard for BJ to keep track of his skinny frame and dark hair, even as tall as he is. Though Hawkeye's usual slouch has gotten even more pronounced than it was in Korea and that doesn't help matters any.

BJ wonders what exactly happened to him to change him so much. To wear Hawkeye down like he's been.

But before he can think too long on it – before he can become maudlin – Hawkeye's back at their table and putting a wad of crumpled bills down on the scarred surface. Clearly a sign that he's ready to leave.

They troop a little unsteadily out to the car.

“So, how'd you find our fair city?” BJ asks as they pull out into rush hour traffic. The had really slipped away from him in the warm dark of the bar. He'd had no idea it was so late.

“Well, I can now say I've sampled all of the bountiful pleasures that San Francisco has to offer.” Hawkeye grins bright and sharp even through the alcohol. “So what's say we blow this joint and go find some nice sandy beach somewhere? Preferably a nude one.”

BJ grins at him and turns onto the highway.

They drive past rocky coastlines and pine covered mountains. BJ thinks Hawkeye falls asleep about an hour or so in, his forehead pressed against the cool glass of the window, eyes closed and face marginally more peaceful. But it's hard to tell.

At some point, though, Hawkeye jerks upright, looking around frantically, as if trying to figure out where he is.

Where they are is the vast empty farmland west of Mendota. Hawkeye spends a few miles staring out at the fields as they blur past the window. BJ leaves him to it.

In all honesty, BJ is starting to wonder if this was the best idea. Hawkeye seems scattered and distracted and manic like he was at the end of the war. Like he'd been after the bus and before he'd been committed.

Maybe BJ should have kept him in San Francisco. Called Sidney. Gotten Hawkeye some help instead of driving hundreds of miles to some unknown destination for some unknown agenda.

But they've already come this far. It would be dumb to turn around now.

“Did you know,” Hawkeye says in a voice that can barely be heard above the radio and the incessant thrum of the tires on asphalt. He clears his throat and tries again. “Did you know that during the Great Depression they used to gather all the unsold fruit and pour gasoline on it so that the starving people fleeing the Dust Bowl couldn't eat it?”

Hawkeye's staring intently at the side of BJ's face, more than wide awake. And maybe BJ spoke too soon.

“Uh, no. I had no idea.”

Hawkeye goes back to looking out the window. “I always thought that would be a terrible way to go,” he whispers so quietly, BJ isn't even sure he's talking to him.

A few miles later, they hit a town big enough to have a diner. Hawkeye's still quiet and staring, and it's past seven anyway. They may as well stop and get some dinner. Hawk hasn't really eaten anything but a handful of pretzels all day.

They both order cups of coffee and BJ watches Hawkeye add something out of a hip flask into his mug. Hawkeye obviously catches BJ looking and waggles the flask in his direction, offering. BJ holds out his own cup. This is feeling... This is feeling a little too close to Korea, all of a sudden, even though they're smack dab in the middle of California. And the liquor burns harsh and familiar down BJ's throat.

He coughs. “You make this yourself, Hawk?”

Hawkeye grins. “A guy's gotta have a hobby. And most of mine dried up after the war.”

BJ assumes he's referring to chasing nurses. He sure spent enough time at it – even if he was never all that successful.

Before BJ can get too far into asking Hawkeye about his triumphs or trials in the pursuit of the fairer sex – always sure to elicit an amusing (or steamy) anecdote – the waitress returns to take their order.

Hawkeye gets a hamburger and french fries. BJ orders a chicken sandwich and Hawkeye flinches so he orders a hamburger instead. And when the food gets there, Hawkeye devours his meal ravenously while BJ chats about Erin's recent trials with attending daycare since Peg is out of the house some days for her real estate career.

Hawkeye's obviously not one for conversation tonight, so BJ just keeps talking about his wife and his life and his beautiful, perfect, wonderful daughter. And Hawkeye sits in the booth, leg jittering against the tabletop and he tears his napkin into shreds and lets them snow down onto his empty plate. And when the waitress stops by again to top up their coffees, Hawkeye drinks about half the cup all in one go and then refills it with moonshine.

He's so alike and unlike the Hawkeye from Korea. The Hawkeye BJ knows more intimately than pretty much anyone other than his wife. And BJ can catch glimpses of that man in Hawkeye's gestures or his terrible honking laugh. But in a lot of ways he's a complete stranger. And it's difficult to sit there in the diner – in the real world – with this man that's half myth and half ghost and from a part of BJ's life that he'd honestly rather forget.

It's almost a relief to settle up and get back in the car. Hawkeye isn't asleep, BJ doesn't think. But he is quiet and still and content to just stare out the window into the empty dark.

In the car, in the dark, nothing is real. It's not like the harsh light of the diner where he can see Hawkeye. Here, BJ can pretend that nothing about what's happening is strange. He can pretend everything is normal.

But eventually it gets late enough that he's got to stop driving or he's going to fall asleep at the wheel and run them both into a ditch. BJ pulls into the first motel he comes across. And it's shabby and rundown, but a far sight better than a tent in Korea, which is where he half expects to collapse tonight, stuck as he is between past and present, waking and dreaming.

The only problem is that there's only the one bed.

BJ offers to sleep on the floor. But Hawkeye says he's being stupid and that it's not like they haven't slept together before. Which, that's stretching the truth a little. But BJ doesn't really want to sleep on the floor.

So that's how he finds himself laying in bed with Hawkeye - who's obviously still awake, BJ can see the gleam of his eyes in the dark – and feeling intensely awkward about it. It's a double bed, but they're both tall. BJ could probably fill up the bed all on his own. It's difficult to keep from touching Hawkeye - especially because if this were him and Peg, BJ would be spooning his wife, curling around her back, holding her in his arms. And BJ hasn't really slept with anyone other than her for a long time. Which is why he has to fight himself not to do the same with Hawkeye. A Hawkeye who's whispering a soft goodnight into the darkness between them.

BJ turns to face away from him and tries to go to sleep.

He wakes up to Hawkeye sitting bolt upright in bed, tears streaming down his face, absolutely dead silent as he cries.

BJ reaches a tentative hand out, lays it whisper light on Hawkeye's shoulder. “You ok, Hawk?”

Hawkeye turns his unseeing eyes to BJ, tear tracks gleaming in the moonlight filtering through the motel curtains. Blinks a few times, as if he's surprised to find BJ really there. Reaches out with a trembling hand to brush the tips of his fingers butterfly gentle against BJ's cheek.

“Beej?”

“Yeah, Hawk. I'm here.”

Hawkeye crumples forward into BJ's chest. And BJ holds him in his arms. Feels the silent sobs that wrack his skinny back.

“I dreamed that this was all a dream,” Hawkeye whispers into the join of BJ's neck. “That I'd lost you and I couldn't find you – no matter how much I looked and looked and looked.”

BJ gathers Hawkeye closer. “I'm right here, Hawkeye. And I'm not going anywhere.”

Hawkeye pulls away from BJ's arms. Looks up at him – and he looks, he looks sad and understanding and gentle. “Everyone leaves sometime, Beej. I won't hold it against you.”

And then Hawkeye's getting out of bed to go take a shower.

BJ feels strangely bereft without Hawkeye in his arms, so he busies himself getting ready to leave. It's still disgustingly early – the eastern sky just barely starting to turn pink – but it's not far to Los Angeles now. And BJ doesn't really want to spend any more time in this dingy, claustrophobic hotel room than he has to.

When they descend into Santa Monica, Hawkeye perks up from where he'd been sitting listless in the passenger seat. He practically has his head sticking out the window like Waggles does, staring out at the silvery gleam of sunlight on the ocean. Practically vibrating in his seat at the knowledge that they're getting close to the sandy beaches his heart desires.

BJ exits off of Route 5 and takes them through the wide boulevards and down to the beach.

Hawkeye grabs his arm on the steering wheel. “Look, Beej! Palm trees!”

“Yeah, Hawk. Just as advertised.” BJ smiles at Hawkeye fondly. His excitement is infectious. Buoying.

So different from his mood just a few hours earlier.

When they get to the actual beach, BJ has barely parked the car before Hawkeye's flinging himself out of it and down onto the sand. A cacophony of seagulls spirals into the sky, squawking at being disturbed by a six-foot plus lunatic sprinting towards the water.

BJ watches, amused and perplexed as Hawkeye starts throwing his clothes off with wild abandon, stripping until he's down to his skivvies, barely halting his headlong scramble towards the water. And he switches to genuine incredulity when the now mostly naked Hawkeye flings himself into the surf, struggling out past the breakers, until he's genuinely swimming in the marginally calmer water of the Pacific Ocean.

“Jesus Christ, Hawk,” BJ calls out to him from the beach. “Come back up here, you loon. You're going to get hypothermia.”

Hawkeye grins back at BJ as he floats serenely on his back, waves bobbing him gently up and down, hiding and revealing him from BJ's view. “Good thing I know a doctor then, huh Beej?”

But Hawkeye does eventually emerge from the water, shaking himself kind of dry – and splashing freezing water all over BJ's shirt. He's smiling big and genuine, and BJ thinks this whole trip was worth it just for this moment. Just to see Hawkeye look happy and unburdened and mischievous like he used to look. Like he looks in all of BJ's best memories of Korea.

BJ thinks he could stand to stick around Santa Monica a while longer. So they get Hawkeye dried off and bundled up in dry clothes and they head for a little cafe just off the beach so they can eat breakfast. By which BJ means he eats breakfast and Hawkeye drinks five cups of coffee and steals one piece of BJ's toast. But it's an improvement on yesterday morning.

And then they bum around the waterfront, stopping in at the little tourist traps, showing each other dumb knickknacks. Hawkeye discovers an especially hideous Hawaiian shirt at one of the stores - and almost talks BJ into buying it before common sense (and the thought of Peg's reaction) prevail. Hawkeye pouts, but grudgingly admits that a shirt covered in scantily clad hula girls might not be the best thing to bring home to one's wife. Though it's not like he knows what wives do or don't like, Beej, honestly. And BJ supposes that's true enough.

Eventually, it gets to be late enough in the day that other, far more sane people start gathering on the beach to swim or sunbathe or whatever. And Hawkeye takes this as his cue to drag BJ back to the sun and sand and palm trees he's so obsessed with. BJ goes willingly enough, truth be told – Hawkeye's led him far more terrible places than the Santa Monica public beach.

And it's nice to laze around in the sunshine with Hawkeye reading next to him, shaded by the parasol he'd brought along in his ratty army duffel. Honestly, BJ's heartened by the fact that Hawkeye planned this trip out well enough to bring things like swim trunks and sun block and a truly terrible pair of Groucho glasses instead of sunglasses. It makes all of this feel more like a prank and less like Hawkeye's unraveling again.

It makes BJ almost happy to remember all the trouble they used to get up to. Makes him able to tell stories back and forth with Hawkeye, able to quibble about the details when one of them insists the other had been responsible for whatever part of their prank had gone wrong. Hell, they even reminisce about Charles, and that's someone BJ had been more than happy to never think about again.

Anyway, it's all really nice. A nice vacation from the real world.

But that's all it is. All it can ever be. Because he's got a wife and a kid and a life waiting back for him in San Francisco. And Hawkeye's probably got a half dozen girls waiting by the phone for him to call.

“C'mon, Hawk.” BJ claps his hands brusquely and stands. “We should probably start heading home if we want to get in by dinner time.”

Hawkeye looks up at him from behind those stupid, stupid glasses. And it's hard to tell, but he might just look as conflicted about leaving as BJ feels.

“Yeah, ok, Beej.” Hawkeye stands and brushes sand off of his trunks. Starts putting away his beach towel and umbrella. Knocks against BJ's shoulder, a friendly little nudge. “This sure was fun while it lasted, though. Kinda wish we could've stayed here forever.”

BJ nudges him back. Gets him moving in the direction of the car. “You can always come back again.”

Hawkeye smiles sadly. “It wouldn't be the same.”

And then they pile into the car to head back to San Francisco. Hawkeye stares out the window again, curled up against the passenger door. Obviously not feeling like talking any more. So BJ just concentrates on navigating the way home.

The drive goes much faster this time, probably because they don't stop anywhere. And because BJ's a little lost in thought. Seeing Hawkeye again has brought up a lot of memories he'd done his best to bury when he went home to Peg and Erin and real life. The station wagon's bench seats feel full of ghosts.

None more haunting than Hawkeye Pierce – famed in song and story – a half buried memory of the worst parts of BJ's life. And currently curled up in the front seat of BJ's car like the remnant of a terrible, wonderful dream. So he's got a lot to think about.

It's no wonder BJ startles when Hawkeye brings a gentle hand to his shoulder. They're home. And they've apparently been sitting in the driveway for a while if Hawkeye's teasing, “Nice of you to join us, Beej,” is any indication.

“Sorry, Hawk. Lost in thought.”

“Well, don't hurt yourself.” Hawkeye smiles bright and warm. Like the sun.

And then they're both turning sideways to face one another. Hawkeye's hand is still on BJ's shoulder, light but so, so heavy.

And then Hawkeye kisses him. Sweet and chaste and far too brief.

And BJ wants to cry at how right it feels. How much of a culmination of their entire tumultuous friendship it feels.

At how much it feels like goodbye.

“C'mon, Beej. Let's get you home.”

Hawkeye claps BJ with the hand on his shoulder, brusque and friendly. And Peg's standing on the front porch, waiting for him. And Hawkeye's got a Greyhound ticket back to Maine in his pocket.

They leave the car and head into the house.

#mash #hunnihawk #this isn't particularly happy #hawkeye has some serious issues #and bj's repressed #sort of unrequited feelings #kinda a road trip fic if you squint

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thebibliomancer · 3 years ago

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Essential Avengers: West Coast Avengers #3: Taking Care of BUSINESS!

November, 1984

This is a sad day for the fledgling West Coast Avengers. It’s a cool cover for the fledgling West Coast Avengers but a sad day.

Not only are they falling before Graviton but they’re falling perpetually.

Anyway, last time in West Coast Avengers: Hawkeye and Mockingbird were sent by the Vision to create a west coast branch of the Avengers. Since Wonder Man, Tigra, and Rhodey Iron Man were California based, they got the nod to be the West Coast Avengers, despite reluctance from Tigra and Iron Man.

Their first case was mistaking as a supervillain and beating up a friend of Tigra who had followed her to the Avengers Compound to make sure she wasn’t in trouble. So. That’s not great. Next, the West Coast Avengers tried to chase down a bank robber named the Blank. This is really overkill for a guy whose only power is wearing a slippery anonymizing force field but he manages to get away anyway. The charger for his force field also dunks Graviton back into the world.

And as you can see on the cover, this isn’t ideal for our West Coast Avengers.

But before that, there was an event that sort of happened between issues. In Avengers #249, Vision tried to contact the West Coast Avengers but only got their answering machine. And that’s because they were dealing with the local worldwide unseasonable winter.

If Avenging and stunt work doesn’t work out for Wonder Man, he should consider becoming the new Mr. Plow.

Anyway, the forever winter is over, thanks to the Casket of Eternal Winters being reassembled and shut over in the Thor book as part of a multi-pronged plan to take down Surtur.

The West Coast Avengers are still dealing with the remaining snow because its not like snow just evaporates! Without turning into water first! Look, it would take too much time, people have places to drive, or something.

The combination of snow everywhere but normal warm South California weather leads to some people taking advantage by going swimsuit skiing, mostly so Rhodey can wryly think that weird is a way of life for Californians as an excuse to not worry about why Wonder Man has been acting weird lately.

Uh, good rationalizing, Rhodey?

Some people who don’t care for skiing decide to instead rob Radio Shack because NOBODY WILL EVER KNOW!

But Mockingbird shows up and starts beating them up when they make the mistake of believing that they outnumber her. They are mathematically right and wrong in every other way.

Hawkeye also shows up to pin some others to the wall with arrows so one of the Radio Shack robbers runs to the getaway car and tries to get the getaway driver to help him getaway.

But cat’s got their car.

It sort of makes sense why Tigra has decided on this for her winter outfit and yet I’m still baffled.

If it had just been the boots, that’d be one thing.

She’s also the only one who has made a winter weather change to her outfit.

Bafflement.

The blond robber doesn’t even try running, saying “What’s the use? Just take me away. I wanna serve my time and forget this ever happened!”

Bad day when some electronics theft gets an entire superhero team on you.

By midday, the West Coast Avengers meet by the Hollywood sign (so that the audience knows that this is set in LA). At this point all of the snow is gone, as if it’s been whisked away. So I guess I was wrong. Earlier the casket hadn’t been repaired but now it has been.

Hawkeye: “Well, whatever happened to [the snow], you can all be proud of the job you did over the past week! You put in a lot of long hours and saved thousands of lives! I’d say we’ve all earned a little time to unwind! That’s why I propose we hold the first annual Avengers barbeque... commencing tonight at sunset, back at the compound!”

Oh ho, I see that Hawkeye is going to be the fun Avengers chairman. Don’t see Vision organizing a barbeque.

The rest of the team is pretty excited about this... except for Wonder Man, who is distracted, answers without any real enthusiasm, and then takes off.

Hawkeye wonders if he’s still upset about the Blank getting away but c’mon that was weeks ago! Surely no superhero ever obsesses over anything!

When the Avengers disperse, Tigra lies that Iron Man promised her a lift as an excuse to talk to him in private about Wonder Man.

Tigra: “Something’s bothering him, and I thought maybe you could get him to talk about it! After all, you’ve known him longer than the rest of us!”

Iron Man: “Uh... not really, Tigra! I hardly know the man!”

Tigra: “What are you talking about, Tony? You fought alongside him dozens of times!”

Iron Man: “Tony -- ?! Ohhh... you think I’m Tony Stark!”

Womp womp.

This is one of the exact things Rhodey was worried would happen if he joined a team with a bunch of people who knew Tony/Iron Man!

Rhodey isn’t about to just reveal his name to her over a case of mistaken identity but he does prove to a doubtful Tigra that he’s not Tony by showing Tigra the skin on his hand.

Iron Rhodey also suggests that Tigra talk to him for reasons of it’s always flattering when a pretty cat girl pays attention to you?

I mean, sure. Yeah. True.

Tigra is also the only person on the team who actually realized Wonder Man was bummed who didn’t immediately dismiss the idea.

I guess its up to you, Tigra.

Meanwhile, in the Santa Monica Mountains, our coverboy Graviton.

He didn’t sit idle during the big snow, oh no! He took over an estate. And then sat idle!

Dammit, it was cold out!

Graviton: I prefer starting my empire in a warmer climate!

With the snow cleared up though, he can get down to business........ of recapping his recent travails.

So, Graviton.

He comes from Canada because Marvel Canada is just like that. He was a researcher in Research City, working on a teleport beam, and accidentally gave himself gravity powers by increasing the power to see what would happen. People at the lab didn’t like him because he kept throwing stuff at them so he took over.

Then he fought the Avengers. He kicked their asses. But the woman he was trying to force to date him threw herself off his floating city rather than date him (its cool, Jarvis saved her) so Graviton accidentally compressed his floating city into a super dense sphere with him as the nougaty center.

He managed to get out of that sphere, but with AMENSIA, and tried to kidnap that female scientist again but was stopped by the Thing and Black Bolt. So Graviton imploded.

He showed up AGAIN and tried to kidnap an entire Bloomingdale’s and was stopped by Thor, who dunked him into an interdimensional void.

Now here’s where it gets slightly weird.

The Beyonder’s construct passing through the void on its way to Secret Wars woke Graviton up and let him find his way back to Earth by homing in on the energy field of the force field the Blank uses.

I don’t know why that specific energy field. We may never know. The scientist who made it walked into the street without looking both ways and got run over.

Graviton is actually fairly pleased about winding up in “this most hedonistic of world cities!” He’s decided he’s all about creature comforts now.

The Blank returns from delivering message for Graviton.

Graviton gets annoyed that the guy is nervous despite having a cool dude who never fails like Graviton as a new boss and takes REAL exception when the Blank points out that the Avengers have beaten him before.

As well he should! Because technically its not true. If you’ll recall my recap, the Avengers didn’t beat him. He imploded. And then when he reappeared to fight the Thing and Black Bolt and imploded again. Now Thor, solo, managed to beat him where Thor, plus Avengers, couldn’t. Don’t ask why. That’s just a rule of comics. Daredevil beat Ultron once.

Among other ways he shows the Blank what’s what, Graviton demonstrates his force field belt ain’t so slick by switching it off through the field. Which, yes, technically gravity could work that way?

Meanwhile, over on ye private Avengers beach because if you’re going to have a sprawling compound, why not get a beach while you’re at it? Tigra interrupts Wonder Man pacing on the private Avengers beach and offers to tell her DEEP DARK SECRETS if he shares his.

Wonder Man: “There’s not much to tell... mostly, I’ve been wondering if I did the right thing in joining Hawkeye’s New Avengers team. I sometimes wonder if I ever did anything right, where the Avengers are concerned.”

He recaps his ENTIRE LIFE STORY to her, as is the style. Got powers from some Avengers enemies, turned against them, died. Came back to life, uneasy as a superhero, quit to become an actor.

He leaves out the part where he embezzled from his own company and was arrested, the part where he was a competitor to Tony Stark, and retcons in that he’s always loved acting. Rather than seeing one (1) movie and deciding he wants to be an actor now.

Apparently, Hercules’ offer to set Wonder Man up with some sweet Hollywood contacts didn’t pan out.

Then Simon worked as hired muscle for some scientific research groups but decides not to go into that.

There’s no ‘see such and such issue of book’ so I can’t tell whether this is a thing that was published or is a noodle incident.

Then a former agent got Simon that gig on the David Letterman show. Remember that one? David Letterman knocked out the villain with a big door knob? It probably made more sense at the time?

Anyway, although the show got pre-empted for a news report in New York, it did air in Cali-for-ni-a and a director reached out to Simon with stuntman work.

And its not the acting he wanted to do but it is acting and being good at it has done wonders, man, for his confidence. Which is why he jumped at Hawkeye’s offer to join the west coast team.

But then he let the Blank escape and now he’s back to feeling out of place on a cool superhero team.

So now that he shared his not so deep, not so dark, secrets, Tigra shares hers.

She knows what he means when he says he feels like a blunderer. Her stint on the New York Avengers team was a disaster (although she managed to get Molecule Man to go to therapy! By calling him a big loser! That’s something!). And she feels like most of her life is just things happening at her without her ever really feeling in control.

She also demonstrates that she can use that little tiger amulet (a gift from the cat people that turned her into Tigra) to look like her old self but she’s more comfortable as Tigra.

Hm.

That’s two whole characters who can technically transform but prefer to stay ‘powered up’ at all times. Tigra and She-Hulk.

It’s almost a pattern.

Anyway, Wonder Man and Tigra both try to be the insecure one on the team complimenting each other and deprecating themselves but Tigra decides fine. Wonder Man is hung up on losing the Blank? They’re going to track down a goddamn the Blank.

SHE MOONLIT AS A PRIVATE DETECTIVE SHE HAS A TRENCHCOAT SHE CAN DO THIS!

Tigra: “All right, Mr. Wonderful, come on!”

Wonder Man: “Where are we going?”

Tigra: “To see a man about filling in the Blank!”

Damn, good turn of phrase. You really do have this private eye patter down, huh?

She takes Simon to the Cat’s Jazz Club, Shroud’s hangout, to see if he has a lead on the Blank but they find the joint has been busted up.

The club employees are reluctant to talk at first but the Shroud shows up and tells them its cool, the Avengers are his friends. Also: he would like to know himself.

Club employee Mouse says that the Galeno Gang hit the club but they had a message that they were under new managment and that anyone that wanted to do crime business in town had to do it with said management.

So they hit the Cat’s Jazz Club because Shroud is pretending to be a crimelord to infiltrate all the crime.

So far, its working out really well for you, huh?

Anyway, Shroud says it’ll be easy to track down the Galeno Gang and find out who the new boss is but Wonder Man insists that he tag along to help. Call it payback for cracking Shroud’s ribs in issue #1.

Shroud doesn’t want all the crime to think he associates with the Avengers but Wonder Man has a STUPENDOUS IDEA!

So at the former home of Lucky Max Galeno, where some people are getting down and maybe even boogieing, the Shroud’s black fog fills the room and out strolls Shroud and Definitely Not Simon Williams.

He used his extensive acting experience to put on a wig and a jacket, that wily Wonder Man!

(Also Tigra is hanging upside down outside the window so its a good thing that Shroud and NotSimon are drawing all the attention)

Simon hoists one of the Galeno Boys and tells him they want to see the boss so the Blank comes out from the back room.

Its a testament to Simon’s INCREDIBLE ACTING TALENT that “he doesn’t look any more surprised than the rest of the crowd” according to Tigra.

The Blank justifies having the Shroud’s people beaten by saying that he had to establish credentials to consolidate all of the West Coast mobs so Shroud tells Simon to rough him up.

I like Simon’s like BOING here.

‘Sick ‘im!’ BOING, hah.

Also, the Blank has been smoking on and off throughout this whole issue but like. How does the force field work if he can just stick things into it? I mean, obviously, its permeable to air since he can breathe and... oh I think I just explained it. Dammit.

The boing stalls out midair leaving Simon hanging there.

Obviously its Graviton. No surprise to the audience. But very alarming to the characters who must think the Blank suddenly has more powers.

Off-panel Graviton hits Shroud with Wonder Man, knocking off the wig which wasn’t even secured in place. Dammit Simon, I thought you were an actor!

The Blank recognizes him as Wonder Man so the cat out of the bag, Tigra jumps through the window and onto the Blank’s back.

Graviton finally shows himself, exasperated with how much hand-holding the Blank needs to do basic things like fight several surprise superheroes.

Wonder Man: “Tigra! Get back! That’s Graviton! He’s one of the most dangerous men the Avengers ever fought!”

Graviton: “Nice of you to acknowledge that, Wonder Man!”

See, all he wanted was some acknowledgement. And to crush Wonder Man under a localized gravity field.

The Shroud tries to obscure the room under the idea that Graviton can’t fight what he can’t see. But the guy just grabs everything in the room and spins it around.

Then he pins Tigra, Shroud, and the Blank to the wall. The Blank because he managed to get captured off-panel.

Wonder Man KRUNKs up from the floor and tries to grab Graviton, alarming him that Wonder Man is fighting through the effects of so much gravity, having to block him with a “column of gravitic energy.”

The Blank complains about being stuck to the wall when he’s supposed to be Graviton’s partner.

Graviton: “Wrong, Blank! Very wrong! At beast, you were a go-between, a figurehead in my plans to organize California’s criminal element!”

The Blank: “D-did you say... ‘were?’"

And then he yeets Blank, Tigra, and Shroud out the window and into the ocean.

That certainly is a way to deal with some party crashers.

Meanwhile, the barbecue is going on without Tigra and Wonder Man.

Imagine being dunked into the ocean instead of eating Hawkeye’s steaks.

Hmm. I like that apron but I can’t help but feel that a modern comic would have a hilarious apron extremely specific to Hawkeye. Something in the genre of Quentin Quire’s shirts.

I also like Rhodey realizing that he’s not going to be able to eat any of this barbecue through his mask and deliberating revealing his identity to his teammates SPECIFICALLY to eat a steak.

Priorities.

Mockingbird points out that Tigra and Wonder Man are late and she can’t reach them on the radio but Hawkeye dismisses her concerns since they’re both so capable.

Meanwhile, Graviton dunks Wonder Man into the pool and holds him underwater so he can watch him slowly drown.

He’s also acquired some sexy swimsuit ladies from somewhere. This is LA so I guess they just spontaneously generated.

How will our heroes get out of their various water-based predicaments??

I assume swimming will be involved.

Next issue is last issue of the limited series and for the West Coast Avengers for a while.

And since the West Coast Avengers show up in Avengers #250 with the limited series wrapped up, expect me to schedule posting the posts in that way too.

Follow @essential-avengers because I know the recipe to Hawkeye’s secret steak recipe and I’ll tell you if you follow. Here’s a hint: take meat, set it on fire for a while. Also like and reblog and I’ll tell you how many potatoes Captain America’s potato salad contains.

#Avengers #West Coast Avengers #Graviton #the Blank #Hawkeye #Mockingbird #Iron Man #James Rhodes #Wonder Man #Tigra #various water based predicaments #essential avengers #essential marvel liveblogging

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fullmetalscullyy · 4 years ago

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Hello I don’t know if this is the right place for requests but can u do a royai angst where roy is the fuhrer and has diminished the power of miltary and has introduced democracy and the war criminals of ishvalan are being put to trial and basically some intimate royai moments leading up to their deaths . Thank youu and love your workkk

aaaah anon thank you so much 🥺 you’re far too kind <3 and yes, this is the right place! this was a gooood prompt, very angsty!! i’ve not written something here about leading up to their trial (the reason why is explained in the fic), however this is their “last night together” 👀 hope you enjoy!! and thank you for the ask <3

also, if you’re interested, i’ve already done something similar to this request if that’s more what you’re looking for! riza goes ahead and gets put on trial before roy after he’s part of a political marriage with drachma. it’s call “the last dance”

rated: m | words: 1679 | warnings: adult themes, discussions of death/execution

“So…”

The single word hung in the air of his home office, feeling like it signalled the end of another chapter in his life. Fuhrer Mustang sat back in his chair, sighing as the last piece of work he needed to complete was signed off and ready to be presented to parliament tomorrow. It would signify the end of his reign as Fuhrer and would put him on trial for his war crimes, along with all of those who participated in the Ishvalan Civil War as State Alchemists.

It was a marvel, how the single sheet of paper upon his desk would end his life. The document held such a power of him that it was almost terrifying. Although, that may have just been pure instinct talking. He didn’t want to die. A part of his mind was screaming at him to burn it however it was only a tiny part. It was quickly shoved aside and replaced by grim satisfaction. He’d achieved what he’d set out to do. His goals had been reached and there was nothing more for him to do now. Tomorrow, with this document, his power would be dissolved, and he’d be in prison.

“It’s done?”

Glancing up, he caught Hawkeye’s eye. Her expression was calm and collected like always as she patiently awaited his answer.

Roy nodded. “It is.”

Nothing more was said. There didn’t need to be anything else spoken. Not until she started to pack up her things, her movements slow and controlled.

Working from home had become the more preferable option as of late. His old wounds would ache so much from time to time that he would be left breathless, so remaining at his home office was better for him. Roy felt as though he had the body of a pensioner, but in truth it was only forty-five. Still, he’d lived too long and seen to much not to be in the mindset of the elderly. He was weary from his uphill battle to Fuhrer, but one of the hardest parts, the final part, was only just beginning.

Of course, being his adjutant, Hawkeye had come to work within his office at home as well. Where he went, she followed. Despite his insistence that he’d be fine and that she should go into HQ for the day, there was no arguing with her. As stubborn as ever, Roy noted fondly.

“Stay for dinner?”

It was a request he put forth every time, which she politely declined. He hoped… Well, if this was to be their last night of freedom, Roy wished she would say yes.

Her movements slowed and then she paused, staring down at her desk.

“Our final meal?” The corners of her mouth quirked up slightly but didn’t stay.

Roy nodded. “We can do that.”

“All right,” she agreed.

There was no fanfare to it. They didn’t particularly deserve to have one final night together, but now that their judgement day was here… Roy just wanted to spend time with her. If he had to watch her die, be executed, then he wanted this last night together.

Grimacing as he stood from his chair, Roy breathed out hard as his side continued to ache.

He cooked for her. They chatted, but it was subdued and remorseful. She never met his eyes for long, opting to stare down at her food. It killed him inside but would never fault her for it. He’d signed her death warrant that evening. How could she be happy with him? Roy knew Hawkeye was committed completely to this goal, but still… It didn’t sit well with him that he’d agreed to send her to her death.

“Is…”

He glanced at her. They’d had a brief moment of silence as they finished up their meal.

“Is it… wrong of me, to not want to leave?” Her head lifted, meeting his eyes. There was no sadness there, just curiosity and a slight frown on her features.

“I felt the same way looking over that document,” Roy revealed. He placed down his knife and fork, wiping at his mouth with a napkin. “But I don’t think it’s wrong,” he added gently. “As a species, we don’t typically want to jump headfirst into death every day.”

“No,” she shook her head. “Well, I suppose yes, that’s what I meant too but…” Her eyes were fixed on his, and Roy finally caught her meaning. “Is it wrong of me to not want to leave here tonight?”

Roy blinked at her. Again, her face was calm, her tone even. It betrayed none of her wants and desires.

“You can stay,” he replied slowly.

“I’d like that, Roy,” she whispered.

* * *

Roy held her close as they both swayed gently in time to the music in his bedroom. Riza’s head lay against his shoulder, his cheek resting against the top of it. One of her hands was gripped tightly within his, which he’d moved above his heart as they moved together. His other was wrapped tightly around her waist, holding her body close, while Riza’s free hand was on his lower back. Over time, her hand had fisted in his shirt, as if that would bring him closer to her. They’d been like this for a while, but she had no desire to leave his embrace. She would remain there until morning if she could.

“I know what we have to do,” Riza swallowed, “and I’m steadfast in my decision, however…” She gripped his hand tighter and Roy understood. It always amazed her how he could read her so easily.

“I don’t want to leave you,” he whispered.

“I feel the same way.”

Roy pressed a kiss to the top of her head and Riza’s eyelids fluttered closed. She would cherish this moment and this night for the rest of her short life. It would get her through the trial to come.

“That’s what’s making me fight this internally in my mind,” he added. “Leaving you, signing your death warrant, and ensuring your execution.”

“We decided –”

“We did decide together,” he conceded, “I know. However, how can my heart and soul rest when I know I’ve sent the woman I love to her death?”

“How can I rest easy, knowing that decision resides solely on your shoulders? I can be open and agreeable to it, but it’s you who has to present it to parliament,” she countered. “It’s you who has to announce to the nation that you’re killing your friends… and me,” she whispered. “I can’t rest either, knowing that you’ll be gone.”

“We’re going together,” he replied firmly. “I can’t… I can’t let it happen, knowing that one of us went first, leaving the other behind.”

It didn’t matter in the grand scheme of things, but Riza appreciated that.

It was cathartic discussing this with him. They’d have no time once they were arrested. There would be no open shows of affection when they walked head-first towards the execution squad. They’d be back to Fuhrer and his Aide. This night was all they had. Selfishly, Riza wanted this night with him, and she wanted it not to end.

“I love you,” she whispered against the skin of his throat. She’d turned her head, angling it around the collar of his shirt so she could feel his skin against her cheek. It was warm, like it always was. A beacon of comfort for her.

“I’ll love you always, Riza,” he murmured into her hair. “Never forget that, please,” he pleaded.

“I won’t,” she reassured him. “I could never.” Her lips pressed a kiss against his throat, sealing her promise. It made his breath hitch.

“If anything happens… That will always be true.”

“I know.” If anything was mentioned about them being executed together, there would likely be rumours. They’d be denied, stating their friendship was purely platonic and professional.

He pulled back from her, bringing his hands up to cup her cheeks. His scarred palms weren’t rough against her skin, they were soft. His smile was sad when he looked at her. Riza’s hands gripped his wrists tightly, nodding at him, only barely, to grant his unspoken request.

Her lips were slowly brought up to his. It was agonising, the anticipation of the kiss. She needed him completely. She needed to commit herself to him just one last time before it all went to hell.

The grip on his wrists tightened, their mouths almost clashing together in their sudden desperation. Roy’s mouth opened and Riza’s quickly followed. Her hands left his wrists, dropping to his hips to jerk his body against hers, making him groan. One of Roy’s hands followed suit on her waist, his fingers digging into her skin, but the other got tangled in her hair. They’d been content to dance together to the music, but after they’d spoken, they couldn’t get close enough to one another. They needed this.

“I love you,” he whispered breathlessly against her lips. “I love you so much and –” he cut his rushed speech off, choking on what he was saying.

“Roy, please,” she pleaded. She could feel her tears building in her throat. She didn’t want to do this now. Right now, she just needed to feel… Needed to feel him. She needed his love. It may have been selfish of her, again, but he suddenly felt like a drug to her. However, she thought that may be the case because she had the knowledge this was going to be their last time together. She’d make it last right through until morning if need be. She wasn’t going to waste any more time with him.

“Later,” she promised. There would be more talking once they’d come down from their emotionally charged desires.

“I’m going to love you like you’ve always deserved, but I could never give,” he promised fiercely. She could see that he meant it in his tear-filled eyes.

She smiled sadly, lifting her hand to cup his cheek. “All I ever needed was you by my side.”

As their lips met, she walked them back towards his bed.

#royai #royai fic #royai fanfic #royai oneshot #ask #anon #writing prompts #fic request #emma writes

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helloprettybb · 5 years ago

Text

i don’t want to set the world on fire

The other Steve Rogers fic did surprisingly well. I have so many more ideas, so look out for those. Also, Peter Parker may come soon, but who knows. While writing this, I realized that I could probably write a part two, so would you all like that? Also, just warning you, I lowkey insult rock, but it’s only for the sake of the plot. Rock is great. I’m also writing a prequel for ‘i’ll be back’ which will be posted after this hopefully.

I have a plan to make this a series all inspired by old music. This first part is inspired by this song:

Warnings: almost rape

word count: 3.9k

“I didn’t mean to,” were the first words you uttered to the Avengers. Laying next to you was a man whose body was burnt to a crisp. Yet you, small and innocent-looking, were perfectly fine. Of course, they had some questions.

Your father was never in your life and your mother died from childbirth, so for most of your life, you were raised by your great aunt. Life was great, even normal, until she died when you were thirteen. Since you were a minor, you were placed in an orphanage while the house was up for rent. When you turned 18, you were allowed to move into her house. Although rather lonely, you were safe and inherited a decent amount of money. Still, you had a part-time job to stay financially stable.

You were walking up to your car when you noticed a piece of paper on your windshield. You knew what that meant so you quickly turned the other way but were too late. A man appeared out of nowhere and grabbed you. As much as you struggled, it was useless as he was much stronger than you. Before you could pull out your pepper spray, the man knocks you unconscious.

The first thing you see when you come to is a man hovering over you. He must have noticed you woke up because he cooed, “Don’t worry, I won’t take long,” You start to scream for help, but survey your surroundings and realize that you’re probably in the middle of nowhere.

You panic as the man starts to unzip your pants. You can feel a heat burning inside of you. It feels like a volcano was erupting from within, extremely hot, but not uncomfortable. All of a sudden, a blast of fire erupts from your hands and shoots through the roof. You’re so taken aback that you don’t even notice the man burning to death until his screams of agony cut through your train of thought. You pull back instantly but it’s too late. The man is dying before your eyes and you are stuck frozen. Your brain starts up again and you look for something to put the fire out. You find a blanket and eventually put out the fire, but he is already dead.

All you could do is cry at the fact that you just killed a man. You’re so caught up in your tears that you don’t even realize that all your clothes are burned off. Shivering, you try to think of what to do. Noticing a dark bag in the corner, you hesitantly touch it and hope that it doesn’t burn to a crisp. Luckily, nothing happens so you rummage through it to find anything. You pull out a long shirt and clean boxers. Before you could think of an exit plan, you are startled by a blast through the door.

You cower in fear as Iron Man flies and lands right in front of you. The rest of his team follow suit. They look at you, the burnt man and then back at you. Iron Man’s hand is glowing and pointed right at your face.

He towers over you, causing you to scoot back. He starts to say something when Captain America put up a hand and says, “She’s just a kid, Tony.” He squats down so that he’s eye level with you and asks, “Can you tell us what happened?”

You could barely talk since you were so nervous. Seeming to sense your fear, he removed his mask. You’ve seen him on television, but only as Captain America. But crouched in front of you, he didn’t seem like a superhero, but just an ordinary man. You rack your brain and finally remember his name: Steve Rogers.

“H-he was trying to attack me. I don’t know how it happened, but one moment he was on top of me and the next he was on fire. I tried to put it out, but he was already dead.” you stutter, still shocked beyond belief. You start to hyperventilate as your actions finally sink in. “I didn’t mean to, honest. I didn’t even know I could do that. You have to believe me!” you cry unprompted. Steve moves to touch you soothingly before you quickly scoot away.

“Please don’t touch me! I don’t want to kill you too.” you exclaim, scared of your own body. Steve’s eyes are filled with what looks like sympathy and he glances at Tony.

He speaks up, “She’s right, Cap.” You suddenly notice the scanner on his suit. “Her temperature is off the charts. How are you alive, kid?”

Before you could attempt to answer his question, Steve speaks up, “We have to take her to the lab. Banner will know what to do.” With no further questions, you are escorted toward their ship, careful not to touch anyone.

On the ship, you hear their muttered whispers and assume it’s about what they should do with you. After all, you’re just a stowaway. The ride feels like an eternity until the jet finally lands. The other Avenger separate, leaving you alone with Steve and Tony. They guide you inside the giant complex and you try not to gawk at the high ceilings and large staircases, but you’ve never been in a building this huge.

You are directed downstairs to a high-tech lab. Tony types on a keyboard and does a retinal scan before the door opens. A smallish, fidgety man is in there and greets Tony. When he notices you, he asks politely, “Who’s this?”

Realizing he never caught your name, Tony turns to you and asks in an almost comical way, “Who are you?” You say your name and Tony continues, “Anyway, she uh, has some special abilities.” Bruce quirks an eyebrow at his wording and does a biological scan. His eyes widen when he sees your vitals.

“You have a temperature of 160 degrees Celsius.” he explains. You watch as he interacts with the projected screen.

“She also burned a hole in the ceiling.” Steve states, purposely excluding the part about you killing someone.

“This may sound like a stupid question, but can I touch people without hurting them?” you ask hesitantly. You don’t want to live the rest of your life in constant fear.

Bruce pushes the screen down and responds, “Well, I’ll have to do some tests before I know for sure. But seeing as you’re clothes are still intact, I assume that you are safe.” Bruce walks over to his lab table and starts typing something on his computer. You feel Steve’s gaze as you fidget uncomfortably.

“We’ll do the tests tomorrow. Let her get some rest,” Steve’s voice booms above you. Bruce just nods as you, Tony, and Steve leave the lab. As the three of you walk up the stairs, Tony’s phone goes off.

He looks down and tells Steve, “It’s Pepper. Can you show Y/n to the residential area.” Steve nods and you two part ways with Tony. You’re silent as Steve guides you around the building and towards the elevator.

He presses the third button and you two stand in silence as the doors close. A familiar tune plays on the speakers. You smile after recognizing it. Steve catches your small grin and asks, “You know this song?”

“Uh, yeah. ‘Stop Pretending’ was one of my great aunt’s favorites. Personally, I prefer ‘I Don’t Want to Set the World on Fire’” you comment lightly. Steve opens his mouth to say something when the doors open. He steps out and you follow him down the hall.

He stops in front of a door at the far end and says, “You can stay here for the time being. My room’s the first door on the left if you need anything,” Steve doesn’t know why he added that last part, but something about your wide, innocent eyes intrigued him and your affinity for old music sure didn’t hurt.

You open the door and start to walk in before turning around and tell, “Thank you, Steve.” He gives you a glowing smile before you close the door. You didn’t realize how tired you were until your head hit the pillow and you instantly fell asleep.

You’re woken up by a muted, yet pestering, alarm. “Miss Y/n, Dr. Banner requests your presence.” a disembodied voice says. You look at the clock and see that it’s nearly ten o’clock. You step into the elevator and expecting to hear smooth jazz music, are extremely caught off guard by the jarring rock music. Never a big fan of rock, you cringe slightly as the speakers blast the loud electric guitars and intense drums. Luckily you are spared when the elevator doors open to the living room. You see the Avengers, now in normal clothes, lounging on the couches.

They all get up and walk towards you. A man with only one arm goes to introduce himself, “I’m Bucky. Who are you?”

“I’m y/n.” you reply sheepishly, feeling a bit overwhelmed by all the new faces. You vaguely remember them from tv but an introduction helps. They go around and say their names. You remembered Natasha and Clint as Black Widow and Hawkeye but you didn’t know the man named Sam Wilson. You shake everyone’s hand and you mentally sigh in relief that you didn’t burn anyone.

They start a conversation with you and before you could respond a voice calls, “Y/n, aren’t you starting with Banner today?” You look over Natasha’s shoulder to see Steve. He’s wearing a fairly tight grey shirt and sweats that if you were in any other situation, would distract you greatly.

“Yeah, I was heading down there now.” you reply with a curt nod.

“I’ll walk you down.” he states, walking towards you. The others part so that Steve could get through. You follow him towards the stairs that lead to the lab.

“Sorry about them. They can be a little intense at first, but I promise they don’t bite.” Steve jokes and cracks a beautiful smile.

“No, it’s alright.” you reply with a smile to assure him, “They seem nice. I’m just not the best with people.” You realize how sad that sounded and it seems that he did too. It looks like he’s about to say something when the lab door opens.

“Y/n, come in.” Bruce insists. You and Steve walk in the lab and Bruce closes the door behind you. He leads you over to his work area and starts, “Before I test your abilities, I want to understand how your abilities work. I’ll do a couple blood tests, take some skin samples, and do a DNA test.” He pulls out a needle and you instantly stiffen.

Steve notices and you half-joke, “I’m not the biggest fan of needles.” You expect Steve to leave when Bruce starts preparing the needle, but he stays. The more you think of the needle, the less you can control your shaky hands. You close your eyes to try and block out the image of the needles piercing your skin.

You feel a panic attack coming when you feel a hand slipping into yours. You open your eyes and look down at Steve’s outstretched hand. Before you could say anything, you feel the needle prick. Almost out of instinct, you grab onto Steve’s large hand. His calm, blue eyes ease your tension and divert your attention from the blood. Steve starts lightly caressing your knuckles and you feel yourself warm up.

It’s a different type of warm than in the warehouse. It feels like a warm hearth spreading through your body. Your mind wanders

“Okay, I’ll have the results in a couple days.” Banner states, interrupting your thoughts. You look down and see a band-aid on your arm.

“It’s done already?” you ask, surprised that you actually did it without passing out.

“Yeah, you did it, doll.” Steve replies with his hand still wrapped around yours. Doll. You wonder if you were just imagining that, but you have to admit, that nickname made you feel a certain way.

You glance over at Banner who is dripping the blood into a tube. You start shaking again and start to feel the urge to throw up. Steve’s solid hand lightly squeezes yours and he asks Banner, “Does she need to do any more tests?”

“No, not today at least. It’ll take me a couple days to perform tests since I have Tony’s side project to work on. You’re free to go.” he replies.

Steve lets go of your hand and it immediately feels colder. You hop off the stool and follow Steve out of the lab. As you walk, your stomach grumbles and Steve asks, “When was the last time you’ve eaten?”

You think back to the past 24 hours and realize you haven’t eaten since that man abducted you. “Not since yesterday,” you reply.

Steve furrows his brow at that and states, “I’ll make you something.” Before you could protest, Steve walks into the kitchen and looks through the cabinets. “What would you like?” he asks politely.

“Um, anything. I’m not picky.” you respond, pulling out a stool from under the counter. Swinging your legs, you watch Steve as he begins to make you a sandwich. Something about Captain America making you a sandwich is so odd that you laugh to yourself.

You didn’t realize you actually laughed out loud until Steve looks up at you. “Sorry, I just think it’s funny that Captain America is cooking for me.” you explain. Steve responds with a small smile and light chuckle and continues cooking. When he’s done, he pulls out a plate and hands you your food.

You smile widely, surprised that he’s so nice and caring, “Thank you, I’m starving.” He hands you the plate and you sit on a stool by the counter. Steve stands on the other side, waiting for you to take your first bite. You moan with delight and mumble with food still in your mouth, “It’s delicious.” Steve smiles as you continue eating.

A comfortable silence forms around the two of you. When you finish, you wipe your mouth with a napkin and get up to put your plate in the dishwasher. “Hey, uh, thank you for not mentioning the guy dying.” you note awkwardly as you throw the napkin in the trash.

“Don’t mention it.” He replies, turning to face you and shooting a short smile. He sees you look down, presumably too ashamed to look him in the eye, “Hey,” he starts, drawing your attention, “If you ever need to talk, I’m here.” He adds an assuring smile that makes you melt a little.

“Thanks, Steve.” you convey before heading upstairs. You take the stairs to avoid the rock music and although it’s a tiring three flights, at least it’s quiet.

It’s not that you don’t like the Avengers, but being alone for nearly a decade gave you some certain habits. One distinct habit was eating alone, which you didn’t realize how odd it was until Natasha asked, “Hey, Y/n. Do you want to eat with us?”

You wanted to say yes, but your years of self-isolation made you reply, “Oh, uh, I’m just going to eat in my room. Thank you, though.” Steve gives you a brief wave before looking back at his crossword puzzle like a true old man.

Natasha watches you walk out and hums a short, “Hm.”

“What is it?” Bucky asks, eyes flitting over to Natasha who has a confused look on her face.

“I wonder why Y/n insists on eating alone.” she takes a bite of her food and thinks again, “Are we not inviting enough?”

Tony laughs and replies, “You’re about as inviting as the green guy.” Luckily Bruce is down at the lab or else he would have stared daggers at him.

Nat rolls her eyes and says, “Well, I showed her my knife collection and she seemed pretty entertained.” Tony, Bucky, and Natasha present multiple theories.

“Maybe she just likes her personal space.” Tony shrugs, proposing the most logical explanation.

“Yeah, I guess. But I don’t know, there has to be another-” Natasha starts before Wanda interrupts her.

“It’s because of her great aunt.” Everyone at the table turns to Wanda.

“How do you know that?” Bucky asks skeptically. Wanda rolls her eyes and simply points at her head. “Oh, yeah.”

Wanda continues, “After she died, Y/n was left alone and stayed that way for years.” She takes one last bite and adds, “I think she isn’t used to all this company.” Everyone seems to accept this answer and they take their last bites before picking up their plates.

Wanda remembers one last thing and states, “Oh, yeah, and because Steve held her hand.” Bucky wolf whistles and Natasha’s eyebrows shoot up.

Steve had been listening to the conversation, but after hearing his name, he speaks for the first time since dinner started. “Bruce was drawing her blood and she looked really nervous.” Steve explains with an eye roll. He walks away before they could bully him anymore.

Throughout the week, Banner performed a skin biopsy, MRI, and DNA test. While none of them were as bad as the blood test, you wished Steve had been with you for them. You knew he was busy, being Captain America and all. Occasionally, you’d see him around the Compound but you haven’t had a full conversation with him since that one time.

On your fifth day, you find yourself wandering the Compound yet again. It seems that no matter how many times you wander, you still find a new room to discover. You open a door on the first floor and see a vast ballroom. It isn’t the ballroom that catches your attention, but what lies in the corner.

A beautiful grand piano is tucked away next time a guitar, drums, and microphone. Strolling over, you remove the keyboard cover and press a key. The piano sings, sounding prettier than your great aunt’s old upright piano. Smiling to yourself, you sit on the bench and begin to play. You become so lost in the music that you don’t even hear the footsteps walking closer.

You come to the end of a song and a voice behind you asks, “You play?” You turn, even though you already knew who it was. Steve’s blue eyes are so intense that you falter a bit before responding.

“Yeah, or at least I used to. My great aunt taught me before she passed away.” you sigh and turn back to the piano. Steve sits beside you on the bench and you start a slow, pretty tune. “I haven’t played since.” you admit sadly.

“I’m sorry,” Steve says, not knowing what to say at the moment.

You smile a little sadly and remark, “You would have loved her. She’d always have her record player on and it’d fill the house with The Ink Spots or Al Bowlly.”

As you reminisce, Steve studies you. With everything going on, he hasn’t had the chance to truly see you. You’re beautiful, but Steve already knew that. He noticed all the little imperfections that seemed to make you even more flawless. He can tell that you’re scared and he admires your calm disposition with all of this.

He focuses on your hands, elegant and graceful across the keys. You apologize a couple times for your mistakes, but Steve doesn’t hear them. Even if he did, he wouldn’t care. Everything about you seems effortless and beautiful. When he first met you, he thought you were just a kid, but now he couldn’t be more wrong. You didn’t look old, but you had a mature beauty and something about your essence tells Steve that you’ve seen things.

Your hands slow and Steve sees a sly smile spread across your face. When you start again, Steve recognizes the introduction. He matches your smile and asks, “I’m Beginning to See the Light?”

“Yes, it’s one of the first non-classical songs I learned.” you respond. Steve nods and you return your focus to the music. You get so lost in it that you don’t even realize that you’re singing quietly.

Your trance-like state is interrupted when Steve says lowly, “You have a beautiful singing voice.” You blush a little since no one except your great aunt has heard you sing.

“Thank you,” you respond, a little embarrassed. He already heard you sing so mind as well continue. A little louder, you sing, “Then you came and caused a spark. That’s a four-alarm fire now.” When the song ends, a sudden thought strike you.

“Why does the elevator only play jazz when you’re on it?” you ask curiously, trying to change the conversation.

He chuckles lightly and responds, “The elevator is programmed to play certain music for each of us. For guests, it plays Tony’s rock playlist.” You roll your eyes and close the fallboard.

“It was awful. How could anyone enjoying something that loud, especially in the morning?” you joke and Steve laughs.

“You’ll find out sooner or later that there’s a lot of things about Stark that can’t be explained.” Steve jests and you laugh.

“I’ve been avoiding the elevator ever since.” you admit and Steve chuckles.

F.R.I.D.A.Y breaks the conversation and announces, “Y/n, you’re test results are in. Dr. Banner requests your presence.” Trying to hide your disappointment, you get up and Steve follows suit. The two of you walk out of the ballroom.

At the top of the lab stairs, you tell Steve, “Well, I guess I better get going.”

“Yeah, see you later.” Steve says, giving a quick wave. You give him a final goodbye before heading down to the lab.

“You said that was the first time it happened?” Bruce asks and you nod in response. For the past half hour, Bruce explained the many discoveries he made. Turns out, not only could you produce fire, but your body can withstand such high temperatures that you could walk through fire.

He continues, “Well, it seems there was a stimulus that triggered your body to increase its temperature so high that you were able to produce fire.” You nod as he continues, “I think with proper training, you could learn to control and use your abilities.”

You raise your eyebrows in shock. Obviously, these new abilities would change your life, but you never thought you could actually achieve something with them. You ask, “Well, um, how do we go about this training?”

Bruce thinks a bit and responds, “I’ll ask the team and we’ll put something together.” Bruce turns to work on something else and you take that as your cue to leave.

You remember a distinct detail from when you used your abilities and ask, “Can you design a suit that doesn’t result in me being naked every time I set on fire?”

Bruce blushes a bit out of embarrassment and replies, “I’ll tell Tony.” You walk out of the lab and up the stairs. Too tired, you grit your teeth and decide to use the elevator.

Bracing yourself for heavy rock, you plug your ears. But when the elevator doors close and you don’t hear anything, you remove your fingers from your ears. You smile to yourself as the song ‘I Don’t Want to Set the World on Fire’ starts playing.

#steve rogers #steve rogers imagines #steve rogers fluff #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x you #marvel #marvel imagine #avengers #avengers imagines

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shadowhunter250 · 5 years ago

Text

Avenger Preferences #2 How you Officially Meet

IRON MAN/ TONY STARK

You were walking around when you saw Director Fury. You were supposed to be on a mission with Clint who at the moment decided to sneak out on you and go somewhere with Natasha. You sighed but followed him to see a man with dark, chocolate, brown eyes, black messy hair and in a suit. You raised an eyebrow and noticed that it was the man the lab. He walked up to you and you crossed your arms. He smirked as he put an arm around your shoulder. "Hey Beautiful I'm Tony, Tony Stark."

"I'm (name)." you said giving him a glare. "Aw come on don't be mad at me." He said giving you a pout and you couldn't help but smiled back and said, "Fine Stark."

"(last name)!" Fury yelled from down the hall. You sighed but said bye to Tony and ran down the hall.

HULK/ BRUCE BANNER

You were up on deck when you heard a chuckle. You turned around to see a man with black hair and dark brown eyes looking down. You walked up to him since you need help with direction and you didn't see anyone else. You gave him a smile and said "So... you're?"

"Hu? oh hi, I'm Bruce banner." He said nervously as he gave you a closed eyed smile. "Oh, so you're the doctor I've been hearing about."

"What have they been saying?" Bruce said with an eyebrow raised and you could sense the worry in his voice. "Oh, nothing really, just how you help out a lot of our agents when they come back from missions."

"Oh." He said with a smile, "So do you need help with anything?"

"Well I was looking for the meeting room since Fury wants me to meet him there, but I don't know where that is."

"Oh I can help you Ms...?"

"Oh right, I'm (name)."

"Well nice to meet you." He said with a smiled as he leads you to the meeting room.

CAPTAIN AMERICA/ STEVE ROGERS

You took a deep breath, you put on your parachute and looked to Tony. He gave you a smirk and said, "Well I'm not going with you this time."

"Why not Tony?" You ask giving him a slight pout, the two of you were close and did almost everything together... and it would get on Fury's nerves most of the time. He chuckled and said, "Well Fury want's the Captain to go with you." Just then Steve walked in and he was having trouble getting his parachute on. Tony was laughing at him and you rolled your eyes and went to help him. You knew that he was still adjusting to the way things were now and that the new parachutes were a little bit different from those before. He gave you a smiled and said, "So you must be (last name), Tony talks about you a lot."

"Do not!" Tony said quickly as he went and pouted. You gave Tony a small smile and said "Aw... Tony you do care." He just smirked and left the room. "So, you're the Captain, right?"

"Yes Ma'am, but you can call me Steve."

"Okay then you can call me (name)." You said with a smile. "You ready?" You asked he nodded and the two of you jumped out of the plane.

HAWKEYE/ CLINT BARTON

You were climbing a tree just for fun when you got to the top you grabbed your bow and arrow and aimed it at the target. You were about to fire when someone tackled you. You hit them with your bow and then you two were free falling from the tree. You were both wrestling to use the other one to soften your fall when suddenly you landed on something hard. You groaned, and you pushed yourself up. "Next time wait for me." You heard a woman said with a sigh. You quickly put up your guard and got into fighting position. You took a deep breath and turned as you saw the man you were supposed to take out with a woman with red hair and in a tight black cat-suit. "Whoa, whoa, whoa wait a second we-" but you cut her off by swiping her feet from under her and she landed with a thump. You looked at Hawkeye and you tackled him. You both fell off the flying car as soon as the woman got up. You were again fall and when you hit the ground with a thump. You were about to punch him in the face, but you couldn't you sighed, and he flipped you over quickly. He pinned you to the ground and you couldn't move. "I want to help you. Join our team and don't be what you are."

"Why should I trust you?" You said as You fought back the tears that were threatening to hit your eyes. You have been told that lie too many time to start believing it now. "I'm Clint Barton, I work with the Avengers trust me." He said.

You looked into his blue eyes and you saw the man he was, and you found yourself slowly nodded. "I'm (name), but I go by (code name)."

"Okay, welcome to the Avengers.... well you may want to say sorry to Black Widow first." He said with a slight chuckle as the two of you looked towards the angry red head.

THOR

You were walking in the park when you saw the man from earlier that week. You were surprised that you would get to see him again, this time he was wearing normal clothes and you decided to go up to him. He was sitting on a bench and then you decided to sit next to him. "Hello?" You said slightly nervous since he looked like a giant next to you. "Oh, hello fair maiden!" He boomed as he looked at you. You were slightly taken aback about how loud his voice was but your recovered quickly before saying. "Hello um... what's your name?"

"It is I the mighty Thor." He said trying to be quieter since he noticed the scared look in your eyes. "Well then Thor, I'm (name)." You said giving him your hand to shake and he kissed your hand instead making you blushed. "Uh... Thor what are you doing?" You heard a man ask from behind you. Thor looked up to see Tony Stark. Thor smirked at you and said, "Well it looks like I have to go (name)." He said before he left but he got your phone number, so he could talk to you later. As he walked away you heard him asking Tony to teach him how to use a phone without breaking it and you let out a slight laugh.

LOKI

You were in a library getting some books when you heard someone growl in anger from the bookshelf behind you. You quickly walked over to see if they could use some help. You were surprised to see the same man from the coffee shop. You walked over to him and said, "Do you need help?" the man turn, and it was clear that he was about to yell until he saw that it was you. "Oh, um hello..." he said unsure of what else to say until he remembered that you asked a question and he said, "Well I was looking for (favorite book), do you perhaps know where I could find it?"

"Yes follow me. I have checked it out three times before I bought it. By the way I'm (name)." He gave you a smile before saying "I'm Loki."

BUCKY/ WINTER SOLDIER

You were running down the street and what were you running from? Hydra agents, they started to shoot at you and since it was supposed to be just recon you didn't have a gun or at least enough bullets or refill your gun. Your lungs were burning since you had been running for almost an hour. You tripped, and your vision was starting to give out. You saw the men walk up to you and one of them aiming a gun at you, then you saw someone punch them and that was when everything went black. When you woke up you were in a dark room and you looked out the window and saw that it was dark out. You also noticed that your shirt was missing and then bullet wound that was in your stomach was patched up. You sat up slowly and then the light went on. it was the Winter Soldier. he still had his mask on, but you could tell that he was slightly blushing under his mask. you were too tired, hungry, and worried to care that you weren't wearing a shirt. he walked up to you and handed one of his. you put it on and then he said "I'm um the Winter Soldier, but um I think my um real name is um Bucky." You looked into his eyes you could tell that he wanted to make conversation. You smiled and said "I'm (name)."

"Well I was able to patch up your bullet hole it will take a while to heal." You nodded understanding as you said "So can I take you into S.H.I.E.L.D., I know that you will probably say no but just hear me out. We want to help you figure out your memories. I'm not say that it's going to be easy in face it's going to be hard as hell. You are going to want to give up and you are going to get angry but trust me, it's going to be worth it." He slowly nodded his head "How else are you going to get out of here without killing yourself?" He said, and you could tell that he was smirking you rolled your eyes and he helped you downstairs and to the car. When you got in you took him to the S.H.I.E.L.D. hell carrier.

Grant Ward

You were walking towards your new Hydra base and as you walked in you saw Grant Ward. He was standing tall and proud and his arms were crossed over his chest. You started to walk to him and you could tell that the new recruits were looking at you like a piece of meat and thinking about what they could do to you if the two of you were alone. You rolled your eyes and once you were a few feet away from him you said, "You going to be helping me, Ward?" He gave you a small smile as he turned to face you and give you a smart remark until he saw you. He was awestruck and you stood there awkwardly as you opened your mouth to say something until he said, "Um yeah, I'm going to help you whip these guys into shape." "Very well then, you start with the left and I'll start with the right. You all will have thirty minutes until we switch. And just know that if you don't finish don't expect not getting beaten to a pulp. Understood?" You said as you gave them death stare waiting for them to speak up and they all nodded in agreement. And you and Ward split up but you didn't notice that Ward was staring at you nearly the whole time.

Spider-Man

You were walking down the halls when you got called into Phil Coulson's office. You sighed as you walked in and you were surprised to see Peter and the others here. They were just as surprised. Then the six of you were taken to S.H.I.E.L.D. and Peter walked over to you and said, "Wait didn't I bump into you earlier this week?" "Um yes?" You said but it came out as more like a question than an answer. "Peter, by the way, Peter Parker." He said as he stuck out his hand for you to shake. You let a faint smile come to your lips and you shake it and say "(first name)." "What's your last name?" He asked with an eyebrow raised and you were about to tell him when to doors opened to show Fury.

Black Widow

You were being assigned a new mentor today and as you walked into the room you saw the same redhead from when you first started to work here. You were shocked but didn't show it. You gave her a smile and then looked at Director Fury. He took a deep breath and said "I am pairing the two of you up because I know that you two are going to improve each other's skills and experience in the field. Agent (last name) this is Black Widow and she will be your new mentor." You both sighed but nodded in agreement and walked out.

Skye

You sighed not being able to get the girl out of your head. As you walked down the hall you saw her. You decided that you might as well try to talk to her. You walked over to her and said " Hi, um I just wanted to say if you need help with anything you can go ahead and tell me. Beside Coulson always has me keep an eye on the new people anyways. And this way it won't be as creepy." She gave you a small and said: "Sure so what's your name anyway?" A light blushed came to your cheeks and you blurted out "(name)" and then ran down the hall not looking back to see the smile on Skye grow.

Fitz

You sighed as you walked back to the lab to drop off some papers when you bumped into the man who screamed about the money earlier that week. You saw his eyes widened and a light blush come to his cheek. You gave him a small smile and then said: "You are the guy that Jemma wanted to introduce me to right?" "Um yeah, oh um hi I'm Fitz." He said as you set the papers down and shaken his hand. "(your name)" you said with a smile and he said, "That's a beautiful name." You blushed and said "Um thanks..." and then Jemma walked into the room and said "Oh hey! You two finally met!"

Wolverine

The was the day after you saw the newbie and you were training by yourself with music blasting through the room. You were hitting the punching bag when all of a sudden it flew off towards the door and hits the person the walked through it. Your eyes widened and you ran over to them. You said sorry about ten times before you saw who it was. It was the newbie. You helped him up and said "Sorry about that I guess I should have my strength down by now but the past is kind of hard to forget and- well it doesn't matter. Hey, I'm (your name) by the way." You held out your hand and he shook it with an eyebrow raised "Logan." He said and then looked at the punching bag that busted open. You rubbed the back of your neck and said: "Sorry about that again." "No problem, it was an accident," Logan said with a small smile. "So if I wasn't a girl you would have tackled me already right?" "What makes you say that," He asked looking into your (eye color) eyes. "That fact that when you were looking up you looked about ready to kill someone but when you saw that it was a girl it quickly fade but it caught her." You said with your hands behind your back with a smirk on your lips. "Well, I don't normally attack pretty women." He said with a smirk as he left the room. You stood there shocked but didn't say anything as he left the room. You felt a blush on your cheeks and you made yourself look away from the already closed door. Bother's didn't know that your sister and brother were looking at the two of you through the window surprised that you were actually blushing and for him.

Hank/ Beast

You were training with Logan and as you pinned him to the mat someone walked in. You looked up and saw that it was the guy that you bumped into earlier that week. You got off of Logan and Logan walked over to him as you went to go and get a drink of water. As you did you noticed that he was walking over to you. You put down your water bottle and looked at him. "Hello!" You said with a slight smile. He returned it and then said, "Um you dropped this when you bumped into me earlier this week." He said as he handed you a ring that you were wearing that you thought you lost. " Oh, thanks um..?" " Oh um I'm Hank." He said with a light blush came to his cheeks. "(name)" you said as you shook his hand with a smile.

Wanda

You enter the building of Stark Tower. You walked in and put on your best smile as you ran into Piper Pots. " Oh hey, Piper sorry to run into you. I was just trying to find out where Tony was." "Oh, he's upstairs. He's trying to figure out where you are." "Oh well, I better not keep him waiting." She said as you gave her a smile and head towards the elevator. As you got to the top floor you saw Tony standing there. "Hey, Tony." "Oh hey (your name). hey, do you know where my new assistant is?" "Yeah, you're looking at him." You said with a laugh. "Oh OK then since that makes me your boss I hired you so you could help me out with the Avengers." "Well OK... I guess I could do that." "Great because you have no choice." He said as he called them in. You rolled your eyes as he introduced the Avengers but one caught your eye. You saw the girl that helped you picked you up. She noticed you too and you gave her a wave and said: "Hey I think I've seen you somewhere before." She gave you a smile and said: "Yeah sorry about my brother for running over." "Oh, that was you? Sorry man I thought that you were someone else. No hard feelings though right man." You gave him a smirk and said: "Yeah if I can date your sister." Tony laughed and Steve groaned and said "Great another Tony." "No need to worry Steve I just flirty nothing else. I don't like taking advantage of women no matter what." Tony smirked and nodded his head and said "He still is trying to find "The One." Tony said with air quotes. You punched him in the arm and said: "There is nothing wrong with that." You head a small giggled and saw Wanda trying to hide her laugh behind her hand.

Victor Creed

You were trying your best to keep an eye on Victor and James so when they finally decided to join you were glad. You have grown to like Victor and Logan. You were called to Striker's office and you quickly went there knowing that Striker wanted you to show the newbies around. You walked over to them and you sighed as you opened the door. Wade pounced on you and growled at him and pushed him off. "Hands off the merchandise." You said as you walked up to the desk. "What do you need a boss?" "Well, I need you to show Victor and James around." "Wait didn't I-" "Yeah, we kind of fought I mean you lunged at me and Striker called me back so I don't think you can call that a victory but anyways call me (your name)." You said as you walked out and Logan and Victor started to follow you as you showed them what they were going to be doing.

Pietro

You were hanging out with the Avengers when Tony said: "Alright we have three new people that will be joining the team." As he said that three new people walked in and Tony continued "Pietro A.K.A Quicksilver, Wanda A.K.A Scarlet Witch, and Vision. These three will be joining the Avengers so talk gets to know each other and what not." Tony then went somewhere but you were just looking at Pietro. You gave him a smile and said: "Hey haven't I've seen you around before?" Pietro smirked and said, "Maybe... so you must be (Code name) right?" "Yeah but since you're an Avenger now you can call me (Your name)." "(Your name)? Hu, I like it." He said with a smirk as you took a sip of your drink. "I think we are going to get along just fine (your name)." And with that, he left and went to go talk to the other Avengers.

Phil Coulson

You were trying to find James Cameron. He was an ex- hydra agent. You were chasing him on the rooftop. And as your feet slammed the ground of the building you jumped on you looked up to see SHIELD agents. You sighed you were about to pull out your guns when you saw him. The man that you save a few days ago. You looked at him through your mask. You had your (favorite color) hoodie up and you were wearing black jeans with it. You had multiple weapons hidden all over you. You sighed and then said " Alright SHIELD I knew you were recruiting but I didn't know you would stick so low as to take in ex-Hydra agents. Especially the likes of him. Do you even know what he's done?" You spoke with venom in your voice and then James stood up straight and said " (Your name)? No, it can't be you. I killed you and your brother when you were five. "You let out a cruel laugh and said " Yeah you killed my brother with a gunshot to the head and you made me watch. He told me to run and I did. Into the woods and you shot me in the arm but I fell down just so you could think I was dead. I already knew that you wouldn't dispose of the bodies because you always were sloppy and you thought that the explosion would take care of it but it didn't. And ever since that day I have been training under Victor Creed so that why I could be strong enough to kill you. You should stop doing half the job and finish them. S are you ready to finish what you started James?" James smirked and said, " You really think you could take me?" You laughed and said, " are you going to attack or not?" James gave you a cruel grin as he lugged at you with a knife. You quickly dodged and blocked all of his attacks. Your hood came down to show your (Hair length) (hair color) hair and your (eye color) eyes filled with hate. You remembered what Victor taught you and you quickly kneed him in the stomach grabbed his knife as he fell on his back and just as you were about to stab him in the chest you stopped. You sighed and got up and said: " You're not even worth it." You started to walk to the end of the building and before you let you turned and looked at the man from before and said: " See you around Phil." You smiled as you tossed him his badge and you stepped back. You smiled you knew that Phil was someone you could trust and you knew that you would be seeing him again.

Agent May

You were being moved to another team by Nick Fury. As you arrived at the base you noticed that it was in the middle of nowhere and there was nothing but a plane. You shrugged your shoulders as you walked over to it with your bag. You walked on board and the doors closed behind you. You noticed that there was someone behind you and you quickly turned around and grabbed their fist in the process. You gave them a smirk as you saw Grant Ward. He smiled as he said, "Good work you might be good enough to go against me." You rolled your eyes and right when you were about to shoot him a remark you heard someone say "Grant." You both turned towards the sound and saw that it was The Calvary. "Hey, it's good to see you again. Last time I saw you we were in a fight against Hydra." "I remember you were the guy taking them our left and right. You got what it takes to be on this team so don't blow it. I'm agent May and you are?" You already knew that she knew your name but you decided to just tell her anyways. "Agent (last name)."

Deadpool

You were working on your hand to hand combat with the person that you were closest to, Victor Creed. You were pinned to the ground as you growled at him. "Give up yet (your name)?" "In your dreams Creed." You said as you flipped him over on his back. You were about to give him a blow to his face until you got tackled yet again by the red and black suited man. You growled and pushed him off of you as you got up and grabbed him by the collar he gave you a chuckle and smile by what you could tell through the mask that he wore. He stuck out his hand as he said: "Nice to meet you, fair lady." You raised an eyebrow but a small laugh came from your mouth as you set him down and said, "Nice to meet." "I'm Wade Wilson but everyone here mostly calls me Deadpool." You smiled at him as you said, "(your name) but most people just call me (code name)." Wade nodded and then smiled at you as he said, "Well I got to run before fur ball find out what I did too-" "Wade!" You heard a very pissed of Logan yell and you saw Wade's face drop as he ran out of the room before he said, "I'll see you later alligator!" You laughed at him but couldn't help saying "In a while crocodile."

Black Panther

The three of you arrived at the meeting place when you sat down Fury said "So as you can see there is a new member that has come to join our ranks. He will be joining you as an Avenger and will be living at Avengers Tower. Agent (last name) will be showing him around today. If you have any questions ask-" but he was cut off when Tony said "Aw... but I don't want to share (name) with anyone else. I already have to share here with Capsical." Fury gave him a glare but nodded towards you two letting the two of you leave the room. once the two of you exited the room you said "I'm (name) by the way." He gave you a small smile due to his mask not being on so you could see his face. "I'm T'Challa." He said and you smiled at his as you showed him around the hell carrier.

Agent Zero

It was tomorrow at six in the morning. You sighed as you walked into the training room to see the men in their uniforms. You gave them a smirk as you said "Give me your first name. If I'm going to yell at you I might as well know who the hell you are." "I'm Wade Wilson." The one flinging the swords around said with a cheeky smile. You rolled your eyes as you said "Okay Logan, Victor I already know you two. He what's your name?" The guy in the corner looked up at you. You saw him holding a gun and you smirked as he said "Agent Zero." You smirked and nodded as you said "I'm (code name). No run eight laps. Then we will start on the rest of our warm ups." They all groaned but started to run laps along the forest following behind you. You smirked as you thought "Agent Zero..."

Peter (DOFP)

You broke Eric out and that was when he finally introduce himself. " I'm Peter." You gave him a smile as you looked at him. A light blush was on your cheeks as you held out your hand and said " (your name)." He gave you a cheeky grin as he kissed your hand and said " That's a beautiful name." Unit Logan picked you up and put you on the other side of him blocking the two of you from talking to each other anymore. You gave him a glare and he smirked at you as he whispered "He's too old for you. He'll be twice your age when we get back."

Mystique

You have been apart of the X-Men for a year now. You haven't seen battle as much as you train. You know why the X-Men fight with the Brotherhood so much and to be honest you wanted to fight too. You don't think that human should be under your foot but at the same time you don't think that it should be the other way around. You want to be treated as an equal which is why you hid your mutation for so long. You wanted to stop hating yourself for being different. But it didn't mean you hated them for making you feel this way. In fact when you thought back to it you would understand why they hated mutants. They were different, they had abilities that can change the world around us. Some can kill with a single look, or flick of their fingers is they wanted to. Even if they consider themselves good what is stopping them from using their abilities to get what they want? You knew what was to come and you hated it. This fear, this hatred the humans have towards mutants like you is apart of the reason you want to join the brotherhood. They will make sure that it doesn't happen but at the same time you know that it isn't the way you would want it. You don't want them to be slaves or for you to be slaves. You don't want either race to be restricted. You let out a breath you didn't know you were holding in as you felt a hand on your shoulder. You turned your head to see Scott. You gave him a small smile and said, "Hi, do you need my help planing the next mission?" "Actually the professor was thinking that you could be in the action this time." Scott said as he adjusted his ruby quart glasses." Your eyes slightly widened but you nodded and said "I'm ready, so where are we going anyways?" "We have to go to Genosha, we need to talk to Magneto himself." Scott said as you two started to walk towards the Blackbird. You gave a nod as you tried to see what would happen once you made it to the island but you couldn't. Your ability to see the future wasn't fully under your control. You put on your suit before entering the Blackbird. You sat down next to Logan playing with your hands and looking out the window trying to calm yourself down. "It's going to be okay kiddo."

You pouted slightly when he called you that. "Can you please stop calling me kiddo, I'm 21 I am an adult."

He gave you a small chuckle. "It will be alright , there is nothing to worry about."

"Oh so that's why we brought you along Wolvie." He let out a small growl when you called him that. He hated when you called him by your nickname for him. You just rolled your eyes and turned to face the window. You were glad though , knowing Wolverine was coming along was somehow calming to you. You bonded in a way that the others wouldn't expect. You dozed off for what felt like a few minutes until you pillow shrugged you off. You groaned but got up and saw that Rouge was your pillow for today. You gave her a small smile as you tiredly got up. You followed the rest of the X-Men off the Black Bird to meet Magneto. You saw that he brought along some "friends" which you were expecting considering the amount of backup Charles had with him. You noticed Pyro, Sabertooth, which you have heard much about from Logan, and the blue woman named Mystique. You were glad Jean was there to give you a run down of who everyone was. Magneto took quick notice of you and gave a small laugh, "I see you got our little predictor. Did she tell you how things were going to turn out when you came here?"

"Now, now Eric you know that's not why I came here." Charles said and you began to tune out of their conversation until you felt an arm pull you away. You were quickly on alert as you pulled away and got into fighting stance. You faced your opponent to see that it was Mystique. You tilled your head slightly but kept your guard up. "Are you going to lower your hands now (name)?"

You froze when she said it, "How did you-"

"We were planning on recruiting you that day in the park, of course we know you name. Even back then we knew your name. "

You slowly lowered your hands and said, "Why did you pull me away from the others?"

"Because I want to know how this is going to go down. How far can you see in the future. Can you tell me which side wins?" Your eyes flashed back to your nightmares where you can't control your powers at all. You don't know which year it happens but all you do remember are the cries and screams as the sentinels kill the mutants. You forced yourself to hold the tears as you whispered, "I can't see that far into the future." She sighed but pulls you back to the group and you hung your head as you just thought about what was to come.

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lastwagontrainhopper · 5 years ago

Text

Words left unspoken

Unpopular royai headcanon: Roy and Riza didn't get to really know each other until Ishval. I think it fit more closely with the cannon AND it makes their relationship more interesting. This little fic explores this theme and other stuff.

Written for Royai Week 2020, prompt 1: Letter

Summary : In the midst of the Ishvalan Civil War, Roy finally decides to send some letters back home. A sense of duty, or maybe it’s guilt, drives him to send his last letter to Miss Hawkeye. But what can he say to her? How can he justify what he has done with her trust? They were still only strangers, bound together by duty rather than by choice, and by the ghost of a man who had left an indelible mark on both of them.

French version (the original one): https://lastwagontrainhopper.tumblr.com/post/620416870258032641/la-lettre-royai

Read it on FanFiction.net : https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13611586/1/Words-left-unspoken

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On the second Sunday of each month, the soldiers of the 4th battalion could send letters to their families back home. Every man used the opportunity; some with excess, like Hughes and the novels he sent to his fiancee, and others with restrain, like Ellith who only wrote a few lines to his old mother; but all at least sent something.

All, except their commanding officer, Major Roy Mustang.

Roy did, in fact, have a family and friends to send letters to, but the truth was he had no desire to do so. People wrote to their loved ones, he thought, to offer them a piece of landscape discovered while traveling, or to reassure them with news of their well-being. But there was no part of Ishval's suffocating deserts and icy nights that Roy wished to send back to Central, and no news of himself he wanted his relatives to know about. Considering the state he was in, giving them news would hardly reassure them anyway.

No. Roy corrected himself. He was alive and unharmed; this was something that couldn't be said for many of his comrades, and he had to tell this much to his loved ones. He knew an absence of letters would make them assume the worst; he might as well save them the worry if he could.

After all, he had created enough suffering here as it was.

Furthermore, as Hughes had pointed out, his lack of letters was not going unnoticed in the battalion. The men speculated: did the Major have no family? Or did he just not care about them at all? Roy was already being treated like a human weapon by his superiors, and his seeming indifference only strengthened this idea in the soldiers' minds. "You need to show them you have people you care about back home, just like they do," Hughes had advised him. "It will remind them that you're only human after all."

"And maybe", his friend probably thought, "it'll remind you as well."

And so, when the evening of the second Saturday of the month came around, instead of warming up around the fire with the others, Roy borrowed Hughes a pen and a few sheets of paper and got to work.

Thanks to his rank as a Major, he was allowed a private tent furnished with a cot and a small wooden desk; the whole thing lacked luxury but provided an intimacy that many soldiers envied him. In the uncertain light of a candle, Roy began his first letter, addressed to his sisters. He wrote it to Vanessa, the one he had always been closest to, but he knew the other girls would shamelessly read the message over her shoulder as soon as she would open it.

While he was usually so talkative, Roy suddenly found himself at a loss for words. The girls knew him as the fun and charming boy who had been hanging around Madame Christmas' bar since well before the legal age, and who always amazed them by creating flowers with his alchemy. What did this boy and the man who was writing the letter had left in common? What could he tell them without revealing just how much he had changed? Once again, he felt like crumpling the paper into a ball and stopping there. More than anything else, he wanted his sisters to keep as the only image of him the teenage Roy they had known, the one who had not stained his hands with blood yet. But he knew that this was nothing but a false hope: sooner or later, news of the Flame alchemist's work would reach Central, and then, there would be nothing left to hide.

They might as well get used to the idea of a soldier Roy right away.

Nevertheless, he kept a light tone throughout his letter. He talked about the weather, about his uniform which his sisters despised so much and which always seemed too heavy or too light here. He talked about the food, which he described as even worse than Mrs. Christmas' dishes, and the few bottles of whiskey the soldiers would pass around from time to time. He talked about the long evenings spent talking around the fire, and the camaraderie that existed in his battalion, without adding that the respect and fear he inspired in his men prevented him from truly taking part in it.

He talked about nothing else.

In his letter to Mrs. Christmas, he spoke of his constant tiredness, his feeling of loneliness, and the pressure his superiors put him under. His adoptive mother could understand all that – but she had never been in the military, so Roy did not mention the situation of the Amestrian army.

To Colonel Barker, his former superior and mentor in the military, he talked about the ammunition shortages and the delay in resupply that often kept them from advancing for days. He talked about the lack of troops and the cadets barely out of the academy who were going to be brought here to fill in the gaps.

Then, looking at his remaining sheets of paper, Roy wondered who to send his last letter to. He would surely have sent it to Hughes, and was grateful that he didn't have to. This war would have been even worse without a familiar face by his side.

He hesitated for a moment, and addressed his final letter to Miss Hawkeye.

He wasn't sure why, but he felt like he had a duty to write to her. Before being deployed, Roy had gotten into the habit of sending her letters a few times a month to check on how she was adjusting to life in Central. With the state alchemist exam and the work that came with his entrance in the military, he had had little time to do more to help her.

Even though Miss Hawkeye had told him several times that he owed her nothing, Roy could not help but feel a responsibility toward the young girl. It may have been a bit chivalrous – he preferred to think of it as a gentleman's attitude - but he wanted to look after her. After all, she had no family left to lean on, and she didn't know anyone in the capital. More importantly, it was thanks to her and her father than he had become a state alchemist, and Roy didn't want to give the impression that he had abandoned Miss Hawkeye right after obtaining her father's research, like he had used her for that purpose.

But when she answered his letters, the girl had always taken a polite and formal tone, staying deliberately vague about her activities and not once asking for his help. She obviously wanted to take care of herself, and Roy had not insisted. How strange, he thought not for the first time, that they were still almost strangers to each other despite what they had shared.

It was certainly not the only strange thing about Miss Hawkeye. Roy had grown up surrounded by his foster sisters and been around all kinds of girls at his school in Central. Some of them had been shy and others had been confident, some serious and others hilarious, but none of the girls he met had been anything like his teacher's daughter.

Roy had only seen Miss Hawkeye a few times during his years of studying at her house: her father had sent her to a private school in the nearest town, and the few occasion when she came home were strangely timed with the moments Berthold Hawkeye sent his apprentice back to Central, to "give him a little vacation". Therefore, they had not truly spoken until her father's death, when Roy had taken care of the funeral.

At first, she had seemed sweet and reserved, nothing more. A little naive as well, he thought to himself now – as naive as he had been then. But soon enough, when she decided to entrust him with her father's research, Roy had discovered the other side of her.

She was a rock. Once she made a choice, she was unshakable, and accepted the consequences of her decision without flinching. And while she was indeed discreet, she displayed her will as firmly as if she had screamed it at the top of her lungs. She had given him the impression of someone who had received a lot of responsibilities with little recognition.

After the funeral, Miss Hawkeye had begun to organize her father's possession with cold method and efficiency, as if her last family member had not died a few days prior. At her request, Roy had begun studying her father's research notes immediately, in her family home. When she had revealed her back to him, she had seemed slightly embarrassed, but had shown no sign of hesitation, and no complaints or nervous giggle had escaped her lips. If it had been anyone else, Roy would surely have attempted some jokes to lighten the mood and make her comfortable, but the girl treated her father research with such gravity that humor would have seemed nothing short of sacrilegious.

Roy could not help but feel a deep uneasiness at the sight of the tattoo left by her father, but he had not dared to ask out loud the questions that were burning his throat. It was not his place: he knew nothing of her relationship with her father, just as he knew almost nothing about her. They were strangers, bound together by duty rather than choice, and Miss Hawkeye seemed determined to fulfill this duty without fail. The only other thing linking them was a man who had left an indelible mark on both of them and who was nothing more now than a ghost.

And Roy could feel the ghost's disapproving gaze on his shoulders every day since his arrival in Ishval. With each snap of his fingers, he could imagine his teacher's anger and disappointment with the way he stained fire alchemy. Master Hawkeye had been right: his alchemy had been turned into a mere weapon in the service of the state, all because of Roy and of his foolish, trusting daughter.

His teacher was long dead, Roy needed to remind himself, and there was nothing he owed him anymore. Miss Hawkeye, on the other hand, was very much alive, and it was her who had gifted him fire alchemy after all. Roy did owe her something: some explanations, or excuses, he didn't know, but he felt like he had to tell her something, anything, before she found out from the newspaper the devastation her choice had wreaked.

Above all, Roy wanted her to know he had been sincere, that day when he had talked about his dream. It hadn't been a lie to manipulate her and gain power; he had really intended to use alchemy for the good of the people, and really joined the military to protect Amestris. Simply…fate had decided otherwise.

Roy took his time to lay his thoughts on paper, carefully weighing each word. He didn't sugarcoat the situation as he had done for his sisters – he knew Miss Hawkeye could handle the truth, and he owed her nothing less. He added, however, how his alchemy had helped save many Amestrian lives; it was a small consolation, but it was the only one he could offer her. He apologized: it made of course no difference, but it felt right to do so.

The following morning, with dark circles under his eyes, Roy accompanied his men to the mail wagon for the first time, his letters carefully folded in the pocket of his uniform. As he waited in line to deliver them, he saw a group of fresh recruits stepping down a train coming from Central.

Suddenly, he caught a glimpse of a female cadet with blond hair and amber eyes, causing his heart to skip a beat. He turned his head to get a better view, and felt the ground beneath his fleet slipped away. It was her.

No. This couldn't be happening. His throat was tightly shut; he could do nothing but stare at her in a mortified silence. The blonde cadet didn't look in his direction and followed her regiment, leaving for the main camp before Roy could bring himself to call to her.

Soon, it was his turn to drop his mail. Stunned as if he had just received a blow to the head, Roy took the letters out of his pocket and stared at them. He added them to the pile in front of him, except for one, which he kept clenched in his fist.

Once out of the line, he snapped his fingers, and all his carefully crafted excuses, explanations, and apologies went up in smoke in an instant and disappeared, like unspoken words stuck in his throat.

#royaiweek20 #day 1 20 #fanfic2020 #royai #day 1 2020 #fanfic #fullmetal alchemist #riza hawkeye #fma #roy mustang #fullmetal alchemist brotherhood #fanfiction

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cynthiaandsamus · 5 years ago

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New visiting muse poll is up! Since this is the biggest poll I’ve ever had I thought I’d give some snippets about my thoughts on each pair to let everyone know what they’re like and where their place in the villa would be.

Maki Oze and Tamaki Kotatsu from Fire Force: Fire fighting cuties! Anyone who’s seen the show knows what a delight these two are, between the toned and beautiful big sister witch with a hair trigger Maki and the fire cat that literally can’t keep her clothes on Tamaki, these two would be sure to liven up Villa life!

Caulfila and Cheelai from Dragon Ball Super: Spunky girls with a thing for Super Saiyan Berserkers. Both are used to rolling with bad crowds whether it’s Caulfila’s gang of Saiyan ruffians or Cheelai’s street gang before she joined the Frieza Force, both don’t take any guff from anyone. Caulifla tends to be more brash and loud and Cheelai is more kind yet sneaky, these muscle loving girls of destruction will sure bring some energy to Cynthia’s place.

Ayla from Chrono Trigger and Kohaku from Dr. Stone: The cavegirl duo, Ayla tends to be more of what you’d expect from a cavegirl, brash, blunt and comes with a horde of trained dinosaurs, but this prehistoric beauty also has a flirty side as well, coming from a time before shame was invented she makes no bones about what or who she likes and will take what she wants. Kohaku is more eloquent and thoughtful but no less skilled and dangerous. Living in a stone world where people are out for her hide has taught her how to defend herself from all kinds of nasty surprises, though she too is puzzled by the modern conveniences of Cynthia’s villa and will likely have a few fun surprises during her stay.

Shino Ashido “Sinon” and Suguha Kirigaya “Leafa” from Sword Art Online: A long-time tenant of these polls, these girls may have teenage tastes but they are no doubt young women of class. Gifted with special holographic collars by Cynthia that lets them take the form of any of their game avatars while at the villa, these two are looking for more escapist fun than a normal game world can provide. Sinon has grown a taste only for women after her previous experiences with men and though she’s a bit prickly she’s still the badass gunslinger we all know and love. The busty gamer Suguha tends to prefer hanging out in her normal appearance while she’s away from prying eyes but the elf girl Leafa is also down for some vacationing as well. After her experiences in several game worlds she’s looking to try new things and see what the real world has to offer.

Lusamine and Dawn from Pokemon: Two girls that need no introduction, both these ladies have a pre-established relationship with Cynthia and have been waiting for a chance to stay long-term at the villa. The Aether Corporation head is a strong and determined if slightly out there mother that like Cynthia knows what she wants and takes it. The two have long held meetings about who the cutest trainers are and what to do with their mounting fortunes. Meanwhile, topping said list for Cynthia most of the time, Dawn is an up and coming Sinnoh trainer with her eyes not only on the Championship but also on the Champion~ She and Cynthia have quite a playful relationship and on the outside she’s as cute as a button, but seeing Samus getting so cozy with Cynthia may bring out some jealous thoughts in her.

Skyla and Elesa from Pokemon: Another long time visiting muse option, essentially Cynthia and Samus 2.0, a busty determined airhead and her slender blonde companion that has to put up with her, truly these two were made for the villa. The experienced pilot and lovely bubbly Skyla has more enthusiasm than sense sometimes but the pun-loving fashion model Elesa will be sure to keep her straight... figuratively speaking of course.

Ayaka Sunohara from Miss Caretaker of Sunohara-Sou and Mamako Oosuki from Do You Love Your Mother and Her Two-Hit Multi Target Attacks? (shortened for brevity (and mercy) in the poll): What would a visiting muse poll be without Milfs? Shorter, that’s what! The busty caretaker of Sunohara boarding house Ayaka Sunohara has been left to care for the place after her grandmother retired and is now looking for a place to stay and relax for herself. A beacon of motherly kindness and dependability, Ayaka is everything you could ask for in a soft lover but also a determined and stern parental figure that is seemingly good at all domestic skills and gets extremely handsy when she drinks. Mamako Oosuki is a doting yet flighty mother who doesn’t know the first thing about video games and yet commands RPG powers that would make Kirito blush. This mother seems to more often than not find herself in lecherous compromising positions despite her ability to take out almost anything in one hit. Deep down her kind and gentle soul will (literally) light up your heart.

Kagome Higurashi and Sango from Inuyasha: Well there’s a sequel coming, so why not? A normal (if by normal you mean the reincarnation of literally the only person that can purify an ancient jewel with phenomenal mystic power) schoolgirl, Kagome Higurashi found herself in a world of demons, warlords and gravity-defying miniskirts. Despite being a fish out of water Kagome proved herself to be someone of upstanding character who always helps those in need. Wanting nothing more than a feudal fairy tail, this beautiful girl has become somewhat disillusioned with her old world and needs a break, once again heading for another world: Cynthia’s villa, hijinks ensue. Meanwhile the prodigy of the demon slaying clan, Sango and her pet demon Kilala also join Kagome on her trip. Sango’s a kind but no-nonsense kind of girl and it can take a while for her to open up, but it’s worth it to find out because you’ll have a beautiful partner... or a giant boomerang to the head, place your bets.

Riza Hawkeye from Fullmetal Alchemist and Yuffie Kisaragi from Final Fantasy VII: A last-minute entry, Riza Hawkeye is a straight-laced military woman mostly here to keep an eye on the troublemaking ninja she has in tow. That being said, her stern demeanor will surely clash with the villa’s laid back approach but maybe once she warms up to Samus and some of the others she’ll learn to loosen up and have a little fun as well. At the same time, Yuffie Kisaragi is a mischievous ninja who came to Cynthia’s villa for one reason and one reason only: to cause trouble and get into people’s pants.... okay maybe that’s two reasons. But whether it’s stealing their underwear while they’re wearing them or using her unorthodox dorky kunoichi seduction, she’s going to get into those pants one way or another.

Note: Tifa will still be around for a little bit, since she’s so popular I’ll be phasing her out more slowly as the new muses get settled, though Lara will be leaving once the new girls come in

#visiting muses #long post #poll

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darylandbethfanforever9 · 5 years ago

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Downfall Of Us All: Chapter 5

Downfall Of Us All

Chapter 5

Warnings: Mentions of grieving, brainwashing and nothing too graphic.

AN: Credit goes to @jtargaryen18, for helping me write this story and encouraging me to branch out into writing dark avenger stories. She is the best.

"She'll be with Clint Barton, another member of our team. Hawkeye."

Sophie didn't recognize the man's name but Hawkeye she did know. The archer and spy who so often worked with Black Widow. "He's one whose children…" Sophie knew she really wasn't in the position to make demands. "Is he… a good guy?"

Nodding, Bucky lightly squeezed her hands in his flesh one, trying to be encouraging. "He's a good guy. Steve and I trust him with our lives. So, does Natasha."

Sophie shook her head. "I'm not trying to make it sound like that means nothing to me, but I don't really know any of you. She's the only family I've got." "You'll get to know us," he explained quietly. "You'll be part of our family. But you know Peter and like him." "Sorry," Sophie said, pulling her hand back and rising to pace in front of him. "What does all this mean? Do we become Avengers? What happens to our shop? Can we keep it? Do we lose it? Can we still live in our apartment? What about our cats?" She stopped, noticing that Bucky was just watching her. The emotions coming off him were sympathetic, kind. It was unexpected given who he was. Who he used to be anyway. "Did you sign up for this? Or were you… I mean…" She didn't know how to frame that question. "Left with no choice?" he finished for her. "Yeah, well, it depends on who you ask." "What do you mean?" Sophie wrung her hands as she stood before him. Bucky leaned forward, taking her hands in his to steady her. His dark blue eyes gazed up into hers. "Do you know any of my story?" Sophie nodded. She thought she knew a lot of it anyway. "I had been a brainwashed assassin for HYDRA for decades when Steve and Nat brought HYDRA down and exposed their infiltration into S.H.I.E.L.D. During all of that, he also managed to set me free," Bucky explained, willing her to listen and consider his words. "For the next couple of years, I was a fugitive, and that's not an easy life. I spent most of my time dodging Steve, trying to piece my life back together. When I was framed by Zemo for the bombing that killed the king of Wakanda, I didn't have any choice but to go with Steve. And he damned near tore the team apart. For me." Sophie's heart went out to him. She hadn't been through a thumbnail of what he had. "Somehow Steve and Tony were able to talk and work it out, to bring everyone back together to fight Thanos. Part of those negotiations was that I'd become an Avenger and I'd use my… abilities for good. So, would it have been my choice to be here?" He didn't answer the question, leaving her to draw her own conclusion. It wasn't that difficult.

"No, you didn't choose to be here. You wanted to be left alone in peace, didn't you?" She asked quietly, Bucky nodded silently and sighed quietly. "I was happy in Wakanda, I lived in a rural village and protected the villagers and their wildlife. The children call me the White Wolf, I prefer it to the Winter Soldier." He said finally, and Sophie understood what he had told her. Bucky hadn't had a choice in the negotiations, and he genuinely didn't want her and Grace to be hurt, or imprisoned. "I'm sorry, Bucky." Sophie said sadly, she was genuinely sorry that he had suffered all these hardships and swallowed. "Before I agree to this decision, what will happen to our apartment? Our shop, and pets?" She asked worriedly, genuinely worried. Their new landlord wasn't a pleasant man and was constantly raising the rent. They'd barely been able to pay this month's rent, and she dreaded next month's rent. "You'll be able to keep the shop, but I don't know about the apartment. Tony might know about that, but you can keep your pets." Bucky said comfortingly, Sophie felt slightly relived at hearing this. "Thank you, Bucky. I agree to joining the Avengers, but can me and Grace at least get our possessions?" She asked quietly, Bucky nodded and guided her out of the room. She was grateful and smiled at seeing Reg and Paul charging towards her. The two black cats raced over, meowing softly and Sophie cuddled them both lovingly in her arms. Reg sniffed at Bucky's metal arm and swatted at it. "He's a sweet cat, very curious." He said amused, as they saw Grace's cats charge out of their pet carriers, and into the living room.

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Clint had gone to get Grace, so she could be told the decision and see Sophie, when she raced to the pet carrier and saw he saw Lucky sniffing at the pet carrier. Grace stroked him, and the golden Labrador happily licked her as she opened the door. Cats ran out, including a fat, tabby and ginger cat with a massive stomach. "Hello, Custard." Grace said softly, crouching down and one of the cats had decided to play with Clint's shoelaces. He stroked the tabby cat, and he purred. He noticed that one of the cats was slightly wearier, and only went near Grace. It was a big fluffy black and white cat, allowing Grace to pick him up gently. "Clint, this is Tom. He's a bit shy of new people, but he loves this," Grace said softly, and made a little ball out of spider webbing for the cat to play with. Tom pulled at it, and happily chased it as the tuxedo cat followed after him curiously. Lucky was being snuggled, by a fluffy black and white cat. "Did you rescue all of these cats?" Clint asked impressed, a black cat with slightly bendy back legs prowled over with a purr. "Some of them are strays, Patch and Tom are strays along with Salem." Grace explained softly and swallowed. "What will happen to me and Sophie? Are we being imprisoned, or sent back home?" Grace asked wearily, holding Tom close. Clint looked at her properly.

"No, you're going to be Avengers." That got her attention. "What?" "Yeah, you'll be joining us here, Grace. Bucky's been assigned to Sophie and I've been assigned to you. You'll be trained as Avengers, go out with us on missions," he explained. "But you can keep these guys and your shop. It could have been worse." "Can we see each other?" Grace asked even as her head was spinning trying to take in everything. Be trained as Avengers? Her and Sophie? Well, Sophie would be just fine. Clumsy as Grace considered herself to be, she'd be killed early on. It was almost a sure thing. "Will Sophie be okay with him?" Grace didn't mean for her tone to sound as worried as it did. Clint nodded his understanding. "Hey, he's okay. Considering his history similar to your own, he and Nat will be good mentors for you guys. Help you fill in some of the blanks in your family's history, you know?" "No offense, but he's terrifying to look at," Grace admitted. "I get that," Clint said, chuckling. "You probably felt that way about me too at first." "No," Grace told him, keeping a straight face and watching him look at her in surprise. "No?" Clint asked. She didn't miss the way he pulled his shoulders back a little. After a moment, she couldn't help but grin. "You givin' me a hard time already and we haven't even gotten started?" Clint grinned at her, his blue eyes kind. "Maybe," Grace told him, setting Tom gently on his paws and trying not to grin. "I'm a little intimidating?" He teased. She had to laugh at that, missing the way he stared at her as she brushed a lock of hair behind her ear. Rising to her feet, Grace thought hard about their circumstances. "Clint, what if I can't do this?" "Can't do what?" He asked, moving a tiny bit closer. She motioned at him. "Be an Avenger. Like you? You know?" "Why can't you? You're… fit. You look fit. Healthy. Yeah, that. You're young, healthy enough," Clint stammered over his words a little, his gaze moving over her quickly. "Young, maybe. Healthy? Not like that," she said, huffing out a laugh. "I work in a bakery." Clint's expression sobered but wasn't less friendly. "Well, there may be a bit of a learning curve. I never said it was going to be easy. But we can work with you guys. Build you up. You're not in real trouble until you get to Steve. He forgets sometimes that not all of us are enhanced like he is. If you can make it through that…" "He really is Captain America, huh? He's that good?" Grace had to ask. Clint nodded. "Nat tries her best to corrupt him. Mostly, he's all that. Yeah." "They're together?" "Yep." "Okay, I just have one last question then," Grace was hesitant to ask. But she had to try. "Do you think… could you guys help me find my son."

"We'll help you in any way we can, Grace. We're not on the greatest terms with S.H.E.I.L.D. There's a lot of bad feeling between us, with everything that's happened." Clint explained quietly and took her right hand gently. "We'll help you, find your boy. I promise Grace." He said comfortingly, he wasn't going to give her false hope and he knew that she appreciated that. Grace smiled at him quietly, she appreciated his words and just wanted to find her son. If he was......dead, then at the very least she wanted to put him at rest.

They could return to their apartment, so they could take their things, and Grace quickly went into her bedroom to pack up her belongings. The landlord wanted them gone by next Monday. She picked up a framed photo of Zach smiling at the camera, sitting on her lap with a happy smile on his face. It had been taken at his fourth birthday, and they'd had his birthday party at the Stark Children's Centre. She clutched it tightly and put it in plastic wrapping, so it wouldn't get damaged on the journey back to the compound. She wiped her eyes and took in a deep breath before gathering all her things and packing them into boxes. She'd miss this apartment but missed the apartment in Queens more than this one. Clint came in to help Grace pack up the last of her things and saw a bedroom that had been locked. She saw him looking and swallowed quietly. "That's Zach's bedroom, I haven't been able to go in there since he was taken away. His birthday's coming up, and I just feel numb inside," Grace whispered haunted, she walked towards it and opened the door. Clint saw the walls had been painted different colours, one wall was painted with pictures of dinosaurs that were roaming the land. The next wall showed marine life, and the third wall showed the sky, and a forest. "Zach loved animals, he wanted to be a vet." Grace said softly, and Clint saw the last wall depicted space, with different planets on the wall with glow in the dark stars glowing. Clint watched as she picked up Zach's clothes, and began putting them away in cardboard boxes. She was trying to be strong, but he quietly walked over and helped her pack. Just like Natasha had helped him pack away Cooper and Lila's clothes, and possessions.

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14th of June 2019. Clint carefully began packing Copper and Lila’s things in cardboard boxes, Natasha helping him while the rest of the team packed up what he wanted. He couldn't stay at this farmhouse, not after everything that had happened......what Laura had done. Cooper and Lila had been buried next to his mother, and brother two days ago. At least he could visit them, regularly. He looked at Cooper's artistic drawings, tears stinging his eyes but all he could feel now was a dark, malevolent sense of hatred and rage towards the woman who had once been his wife. He thought back to Tony's joke, when he'd taken them here after the fight with Ultron. Tony jokingly saying that Laura was a secret spy. Oh, the fucking irony.

He glanced out the window, watching Steve, Bucky and Tony loading boxes into the back of the U-Haul. If it had been left to him, he would have just boxed up anything that had belonged to his kids and struck a match for the rest of it. Burn down what he knew was all a lie now. Nat talked him out of it, convincing him to sell the house, donate the items in the house he didn't want to keep which was most of it. "You okay?" Nat had place a hand on his shoulder, trying to lend him comfort. "As much as I'm going to be," he told her, trying not to shake in rage as he stood in the small room where he'd come to read to his son at night, to tuck him into bed. "I just want to know why. Of what benefit was this – all of this – to HYDRA? To have some woman approach me, seduce me, create a life with me that included innocent children. I just… Why? Why go that far?" "You may never get an answer for that though I hope you do," Nat hugged him from behind. "The thing that scares me is how many other families are out there like this? Some unwitting person, living like you did. For them to have Laura go so far as that makes you think there are other cases out there. Many of them. Gathering intel." "Even one of the Avengers," Clint raked a hand through his hair, sank down on Cooper's bed. "I never had a fucking clue. I believed all of it, everything she told me." "Clint, there's no way you could have known," Nat sat next to him. "With all the missions we've been on, what we've seen and done, you'd think I would have noticed something. Something, Nat," he was almost shouting. "And I still could have lived with it all if I could have just kept them." "We'll find her," Nat promised him. "We'll stop her, and we'll stop Rumlow." Yes, they would. Laura wasn't going to get away with any of it. If it took his last breath, he'd make sure of that. And Rumlow, well, he knew he wasn't alone in wanting to put that bastard down. Nat had held onto him as he'd cried again for the two, small people in the world he'd loved the most. Nat felt his loss, she'd loved them too. More than their mother had. Nat had helped him finish gathering his children's things, had helped him pull himself together enough to thank the team for their help and leave the place that had once been his heaven.

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Clint knew just by looking at Grace, she genuinely understood what he had gone through and knew what it felt like. But Grace had it worse, she didn't know if her son was alive or had died. "I wanted to thank you, for being in that dream and letting me see Cooper and Lila. It means a lot to me," Clint said quietly, genuinely grateful. Grace gave him a gentle smile, and she started packing Zach's stuffed animals. She sniffled, when she saw the white fluffy teddy bear that she'd gotten for her baby boy, when he'd been born. "You don't have to thank me, Clint. I didn't do anything, your children just wanted to see you." Grace said softly, she finished packing up all of Zach's things. Clint saw the bookshelves had been cleared away, and now they were empty. He couldn't help but think Grace was stronger than she looked, most women wouldn't have kept the baby, but she had. He helped her carry the boxes outside and saw that the neighbours were helping as well. Clint saw a few of the young women, were hugging Grace and Sophie tightly. "We'll miss you two, dorohotsinni divchynky." A young woman said sadly, and she genuinely meant it. Grace hugged her, and Sophie was comforting a young woman. It dawned on Clint, that these neighbours were probably like extended family to Sophie and Grace. And that made him even more pissed at Ross, and Gonzalez.

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Bucky helped Sophie pack away the delicate objects in the living room, which were matryoshka dolls lined up on the mantelpiece, next to porcelain dolls in a glass cupboard. "Papa was always good at carpentry, he used to make furniture and a dollhouse for me and Grace," Sophie said sadly, looking at the framed photo of her father. Bucky looked at her quietly, and decided to speak. "I think that your parents genuinely loved each other, Sophie. Your father wasn’t like the other Winter Soldiers, who were sadistic, and violent." Bucky said quietly, trying to console her. Sophie looked at him intently.

"What about you?" "What about me?" He asked quietly. "You were a Winter Soldier," she pointed out. "You were the Winter Soldier. Were you sadistic and violent?" Bucky's gaze dropped to the floor as he considered how he wanted to answer that. The thing he knew he wouldn't do is lie to her about anything. "I was," he admitted. "I executed people on HYDRA's orders for decades. I killed people, probably many innocent people, in brutal ways. But my actions were carefully controlled. The Winter Soldier was HYDRA's creation. That's not who I was. Those actions weren't mine. I still have to live with that knowledge, those memories when they show up. I guess where I'm going is that was how life was for your father too for a time. But that's not who he was. I'm not sure how all of that with your parents went but… somewhere during it all, he decided he cared. He cared enough to take care of her, to take care of you and your sister. He was strong." Sophie blinked back tears, going back to work wrapping the dolls in newspaper. "Thank you. For that. I mean it. Our lives haven't been easy. but we always cared about each other, you know? To have someone rip you out of that life and tell you such… ugly things about your family, to rip apart everything you thought you knew about your own existence? It's just a lot to take." "I'm sorry it was given to us to have to tell you all of that." He wanted to help her wrap the dolls, thinking if he primarily used his flesh hand that maybe he could pull it off. "Now that you're part of the team, we can help keep you two safe. Tony, Steve, and Nick Fury run the show. They can help us shield from anything else Ross thinks up." "I never want to see that asshole for the rest of my life," she said vehemently. Placing another doll in the box, she started to get another, noticing he was very awkwardly lifting another one that had long red ringlets for hair. She fought a smile as she watched him pick up some newspaper and left him to it, fighting a smile. "So how is this going to work?" Sophie asked. "Training? Going out on missions? I mean, do you think we can do it?" Frustrated as he was, he managed to wrap the red-haired doll up in two very wrinkled papers. But it worked. He glanced up at her as he added the doll to her box. His eyes were so blue. "Given what I saw when we came into your apartment that day?" he asked with a smirk. "Yeah, I think you can do it." "You broke into our apartment," Sophie reminded him, smiling. "The balcony door was wide open. Steve came to the front door." "Why didn't you?" "Come to the front door? That's not my style, doll." He started on another doll, this one going slightly better. "You took my rifle." "Yes, I did," Sophie said as they worked at packing. "Can you climb up a wall like your sister did?" He wanted to know. "Yeah, the webbing lets us climb, stick to... stuff." "So how does that work?" Bucky asked her, placing his second wrapped doll in the box. "Same way as Peter's I'm sure," she said without pause. When she saw he was still waiting for an answer, she stopped. "You've never asked him." "Kid's usually up Tony's ass," Bucky told her. "I don't think I've actually had a conversation with him. Always did wonder though."

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tagging list: @jtargaryen18, @marvelfansworld, @sapphirescrolls, @kitkatd7

#hawkeye #ronin #clint barton fanfiction #clint x oc #winter soldier #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky x oc

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alltheworldsinmyhead · 5 years ago

Photo

SOON YOU’LL GET BETTER

time's running out for Riza. and they can do nothing else, but face this truth.

ao3

{AN: This is easily the most personal story that I have ever written. My mom died of cancer almost two months ago and I needed to cope with that, hence this fic. Tbh, I don't even think it can strictly be called fanfiction - I simply used those characters to channel my personal trauma. Sorry not sorry for that. It feels very weird to post it publicly, but I decided to do it, cause the fact that this doc was somewhere on the hard drive of my laptop was driving me mad. Also... I feel like the topic of death and dying is not discussed often enough nor openly enough. I certainly hope that this story will maybe help someone who's going through something similar to what I'm going through. Or maybe will help someone to understand how it feels to say goodbye. How heavy this grief is.

The title comes from Taylor Swift's Soon You'll Get Better, cause this song is by far the most accurate description of what's going on in the head of some who has a sick parent that I have ever seen.}

__________________________________________________________

When you're feeling lost I'll leave my love

Hidden in the sun

For when the darkness comes

- Colbie Caillat

RIZA

The house’s so quiet and feels so inviting that she could cry from the sheer relief of coming inside. There are no flames dancing in the fireplace but she still feels warmth worming underneath her skin, replacing the bone-chilling coldness of the rain outside. With a sigh, she kicks off her shoes before putting them neatly in the corner and stepping on the white plush carpet in the corridor. She wiggles her toes in it, enjoying the texture against her battered feet.

Soft material makes her steps almost soundless as she makes her way through the first floor and climbs up the stairs. Even Koya doesn’t lift his little ginger head from where he’s sleeping, in his wicker basket by the doors of her younger daughter.

Riza gently pushes the door, letting them open slightly. The light from the corridor spills inside the room, framing Sara’s bed in silver; her little face so pale in the poor lighting, dark hair messy and thumb inside her mouth.

It’s been a few years since she last did it, since she last came back to the childish comfort of this coping mechanism. Riza was sure that she has it well behind her, those moths of coating Sara’s hand in foul-smelling ointments or wrapping it with ribbons.

Despite her best wishes, she can do nothing but take a few steps closer and then another few and then suddenly she’s on her knees right next to the bed. Carpet in her little daughter’s room is blue, Amestrian royal blue, deep and soft. Her girl loves this color. Wears it in her hair and on her clothes and all her pet animals are blue too. But as Riza watches her sleeping face, she thinks pink would be a shade much better suited for Sara, with her rosy cheeks and flowery innocence of a child shielded from any possible harm, any dangerous blow.

That’s what they have been doing all this time, her and Roy. Spreading an umbrella above their girls’ heads, building glass castles on the clouds for them and keeping them safe at all cost.

Riza gently touches Sara’s still-chubby hand and contemplates pulling her thumb from in between her lips, but ultimately decides against it.

Her daughter will need all the comfort she can get soon.

Sometimes she feels like she has spent most of her life waiting.

When she was six years old and her mom went into labor, nobody suspected that it won’t be a quick thing, devoid of complications. Tereza Hawkeye was a strong woman, used to hard work on the farm and running the house for her absent-minded husband. Riza remembers her red, calloused hands and freckles that would appear on the bridge of her nose during summer months; remembers her smile and the smell of her hair. There wasn’t a soul that would look at her and guess that Tereza was born in the aristocratic circles of Central City, with an army of servants ready to attend to her every whim and silk dresses in her closet, that she could rise very, very high if she didn’t decide to so-called ‘’follow her heart’’, run away with the young alchemist and settle down with him in the village on the countryside, forgotten by god and men alike.

To be honest, Riza never thought much about her mother until she became a mother herself. Trying to put together fragments of Tereza in her head the way one could play with a jigsaw puzzle, she looked through few faded photographs she had left and recollected even more faded pictures in her memory. And the more she thought about it and the more she watched Roy and Grumman playing chess together, the more she pondered of how much of a hopeless romantic really was in her mother. Because it seemed to her Tereza could be as well a perfectly pragmatic young woman who just plainly decided she preferred to be barefoot and pregnant at the edge of the world than to be pushed on the board according to the whims of her father – even as a queen.

No matter her motives, Tereza married Berthold Hawkeye and gave him a daughter before dying in childbirth along with their son.

And Riza remembers that waiting all too well; small blonde girl sitting forgotten and omitted on an armchair in the corridor, clutching her teddy bear close to her chest, her face pressed to the faded material. She remembers screams behind the wall, remembers how her father stormed inside, remembers the sound of the door shutting close. Remembers long hours of pressing her fingers to her closed eyelids just to see stars exploding. Sometimes she feels like maybe she never left this armchair, never hoped off to kiss her mother’s soft, cold cheek goodbye.

And then years and years of silence, of wind blowing inside the house and playing with endless pages of her fathers’ notes laying discarded on every surface. Of silence in which they both were trapped, like flies in a jar full of honey, which they shared for so long she thought she will never speak again. Until a pretty boy from Central City appeared on their creaking doorstep, with his laughing dark eyes and a suitcase. He bowed in front of her politely and asked about her name.

And she said ‘’Riza’’, even though only her mother ever called her that, even though she was ‘’Tereza’’ in her birth certificate.

And he smiled widely.

‘’What a beautiful name.’’

Forget fire alchemy; the warmth she felt in that moment was incomparable with any other before and after.

At least her daughters won’t be left to her own devices after she’s gone. At least she has given them a better father than hers. At least this, at least that, all bitter, all making her choke.

They tell them first thing in the morning.

Time for deception and avoiding this topic is over. They wasted it on constructing elaborate lies instead of trying to find the right words and it’s so, so hard now. Riza grips Roy’s hand tightly under the table during the breakfast and opens her mouth before he has a chance to.

“I’m sick, girls.”

The harsh, ugly truth. Cruel military honesty.

Sara whips her head up to stare at her in shock, her eyes round like coins and confused. She drops her fork; it slips from in-between her fingers and lands with a clatter on the porcelain plate, spraying her blouse with yellow of scrambled eggs. But, as Riza takes a look at her older daughter, she thinks Eli as well could’ve, on the contrary, turned into a stone. She doesn’t even blink. She just sits perfectly still, her hand suspended in the air, reaching for a bread roll.

A heartbeat passes, maybe two.

“Girls-“

Eli’s hand slaps down on the table.

“How sick?”

Sara’s bottom lip starts to tremble. Dear god, please don’t let her cry. – thinks Riza desperately, feeling something welling up in her chest. She feels like a grenade about to burst and kill everyone in the room. Maybe that’s truer than she suspected.

She tries to answer and, horrified, finds that she cannot seem to find any words.

“Very sick, Eli.” – says Roy instead; quietly, gently, he reaches out to caress Sara’s cheek and here they are, rolling down her perfect, pink skin. Tears, one after another.

Riza cannot breathe, cannot think even.

Eli slowly lowers her eyes, until they stay stuck on her plate; she is so, so beautiful like that, lost in thought. Forget blonde hair and sun-kissed complexion of Hawkeye’s, forget her blooming breasts and round face – she has never looked more like Roy right now, when Riza can almost see the gears in her head turning, her brilliant mind putting facts in order.

“I knew it. I knew it and yet… I didn’t want to know it.” – Eli’s voice is very quiet, barely above whisper, but she commands the attention of everyone. Even Sara stops biting on her lip to look at her. – “You stopped working and god, all those trips. The trip all the way to Xing, that you didn’t take us – you were visiting Al and Mai, right? To ask if they can do anything.”

Riza suddenly has an urge to laugh. To cry also, but mostly to laugh. Her eyes find Roy and there it is, their common understanding how could we thought we can ever keep anything a secret from them?

Even if they don’t know, they do. Sara’s finger stuck in her mouth, how big of a crybaby she became lately, her ever-brave and ever-bold firecracker of a girl. The stare of Eli’s watchful eyes analyzing every action and change in their daily routine.

“You are too smart for us, darling.” The corners’ of Roy’s lips twitch as if he was about to smile. “We never give you enough credit.”

Eli takes a shaky breath and barks a sad, little laugh before burying her face in her hands for a moment. When she raises her head up, her amber eyes are shiny.

“I don’t think I am, honestly. If I was, I would know what to tell you –“

“Are you going to die, mommy?”

Silence falls like a knife, cutting Eli’s sentence in half and freezing Riza’s brain. Sara is standing now, hands planted flat on the table and she leans towards her; tears still rolling down her cheeks and nose already red, she asked her question with the dead seriousness, crashing violently with the high, birdy pitch of her voice.

Ishbal was one, never-ending bloodbath that she will never manage to atone for. Working under Bradley was a constant, day by day struggle, when her body felt like a taunt bow-string, never relaxing, always on alert. During five minutes when she thought Lust had killed Roy she barely felt alive at all. Promised Day was a nightmare. Her first miscarriage sent her into the very depths of despair. Sitting with Roy in that room and hearing the results of the tests, seeing his face and the light gone from his eyes, she was sure there will be nothing more harder than that. But having lived through it all, Riza realizes has never felt more broken, more helpless and devastated, than now; when she has to gently cradle her youngest daughter’s face in her hands, look her in the eyes and say, without any turn-backs or bullshit excuses:

“Yes.”

There are more than a few things that she loves about her life. She loves their house in Central; cozy, bright and without fancy high ceilings and big windows that would put her bodyguard instincts into overdrive. She loves her dogs; their simplicity and loyalty, how they always come over to greet her home, how they appreciate a good scratch between their ears and how they all remind her of dear Hayate somehow. There are days that she even loves Central City, its hustle and bustle, and all the memories – good and bad alike – that she made here.

But above all, she loves her family and each and every person that form it. She suspects she will never stop marveling at the miracle that happened to her at some point; that the lonely, sad little girl growing up as alone as a child can possibly be, ended up surrounded by so many people loving her and caring for her. So many people to say goodbye to.

She considers herself lucky. More than lucky – the luckiest.

It doesn’t think any of this makes is easy. On the contrary - she thinks it would be easier if she was not so generously gifted by fate. The biggest struggle, as she learns in time, is to not say I’m fine all the time, not repeating it as a foolish parrot round the clock. She respects Roy and girls too much to maim them with this fool’s gold phrase, but it’s so difficult. She finds herself biting on her tongue more often than not, several times a day, until there are scars on the soft tissue that refuse to heal.

Cause she is not fine.

Where it hurts most, asks her Roy one time, desperately, in the dead of the night; his arms around her, holding her upright from behind and his lips on the back of her neck as she sags above the toilet. At this point, she can’t remember how much time has passed since she started vomiting, the room is spinning in front of her eyes and she too bone-deep tired to even try faking anything, and so maybe that’s why she actually answers him.

She slowly wills her arms to raise up, until her hands are up in the air, high enough so he can see.

“This.” She says, voice small and throat scraped raw, but she knows he would understand anyway.

This never-ending shaking, twitching, trembling, as if somebody was electrocuting her limbs all the damn time. Her treacherous hands that used to be so sure and reliable holding a gun, finger concrete-still on the trigger, and which now did not even allow her to braid her daughters’ hair. She misses their sureness and, even more than that, the sign of them simply makes her scared. Everything is more real, more tangible, seeing this tremble.

And then she starts to vomit again, with blood this time, and she doesn’t want to remember anything else from what followed, but she recalls how it ended; the blissful, cool sheets, the wet rag on her forehead. Roy on his knees by the bed, kissing her every finger and knuckle and line on her palms.

They go to Dalisay in June, just four of them. The road is longer and harder than Riza hoped it would be, with pain running up and down her spine like an electric current, her hands struggling to turn the pages of the book - but it’s nice anyway, so nice.

She cannot read and is too tired to talk really, so she just sits with legs resting on the opposite sofa and head nested on Roy’s shoulder, listening to Sara’s baby-bird-twitting. Her girl spends the whole journey standing up with her palms pressed to the glass, looking out of the window and asking about everything – what is this station, what is this city, how many hours ahead of us, are these sheep, mommy look, mommy look. And Riza obliges, slowly turning her head in the direction of the outside and nobody has to know that she doesn’t look at the sheep, or horses, or little farms, but she just watches Sara; her eyes gleaming, her cheeks cherry pink, dark hair curling around her face.

Eli has an alchemy book on her lap, opened right at the middle, but it’s more for the show as she’s not reading either. From time to time, she scratches Mochi’s head or pets Koya gently, but most of the time she just stays silent. Riza feels her eyes on her, as her skin tingles from the intensity of this state, with the familiar desperation, love, and longing. How to burn someone’s face in your memory, in your heart? If you stare long enough, can you remember for forever?

So, the only voices in their compartment – a nice one, really, with comfortable sofas and wooden floors and curtains, private, for what she’s more than thankful – are Sara’s questions and Roy’s answers. He knows everything about the landscape outside and Riza wonders how weird it must feel for him, going down this old memory lane with them, taking the same train that he used to take as a little boy and then teenager, but many years later, with his family and his dear, dying wife. She doesn’t know what kind of feelings it must evoke – she was always the one waiting on the train station after all, static and longing.

He tells Sara – this is river Enola, do you know where it starts? This village is called Priam, they have a sunflower festival every summer, yes, we can go see it. Yes, this blue thing is a lake, lake Moore. It’s very big. Like, hm, from your school to the park? No honey, I don’t think whales live there. Dolphins neither. But there are many other fish.

Riza skids closer to him, feeling his arm gently wrapping around her, his fingers rubbing circles on her hip. He must take comfort in knowing at least this, answering at least those questions. For Roy’s action-driven nature it must be torture to drift with her like that, time slipping from in between their fingers like water. But he slows down to stay by her side as long as they have left, wills his blood and heart to match the rhythms of hers. He is no longer her wildfire, but a rock, solemn and still.

Unflinching.

Dalisay’s somehow just like in her memory and completely different at once, and it makes her head spin. The streets are busier, livelier – with the opening of new train lines and the discovery of rare elements in the area nearby, her sleepy little village has never been so awake. But the air still smells like honeysuckle and strawberries, the grass is so shockingly green compared to the one in Central.

It’s a new world, altogether. It’s almost like they crossed some barrier and entered a foreign land.

And her daughters explore it eagerly, even Eli losing that worried expression from the train in order to curiously peek around the corners and listen to people talking with a melodic, longish intonation that Riza has abandoned long ago, somewhere between the first and second year of the Academy. Sara basically vibrates with energy as she runs from one stall to another on the farmer’s market, begging Roy for sugared almonds or a pack of mint candies.

As the girls lead the way, the two of them slowly stroll, step by step. Riza holds onto Roy’s arm, but she feels so light that it surprises even herself. The pains more bearable like that. She can almost convince herself that the girls are a little smaller, that they are still a First Family, that it’s just a regular Saturday like thousands before and thousands after. The sun’s so warm and honeysuckle so sweet, and they take a break here and hide in the shade for a second.

“I have dreamed of taking you on that damn market, you know.” – Roy whispers into her ear and she just has to laugh at the irritation at his voice. –“ But I never had enough money or guts to do it.”

“To be honest, I think guts were the bigger issue.” – she waves her hand at the crowd and the stalls. – “ The only thing you could’ve bought me here back then were carrots probably.”

He chuckles lightly, gently sneaking one arm around her waist to stabilize her, as the smooth street turns into a cobblestone path. She wonders briefly if he even notices those small acts of care that he performs or if they are something completely instinctual. Her heart swells at the thought and she turns her head slightly and presses a kiss just below his jawline.

“What was that for?” he asks softly, caressing her cheek with a free hand in return.

“Everything.” She simply states and rests her head on his shoulder as they continue to stroll at snail’s pace, in silence this time. She is sure he understands. They never really needed many words between them anyway.

Bathed in the warm light of the setting sun, they make their way forward.

There were snakes in Ishbal. Or, she supposes, there are snakes in Ishbal, since they have proven to be far more resilient than Ishbalans.

Upon entering the front, the first thing higher-ups did, was presenting her with a pair of military boots and forbidding her to ever take them off. They were monstrous things, made from tough, boiled leather, with an extra protective layer around the ankle; they weighted a ton and made her feet cook inside, turned her skin white, slimy and wrinkly. But she and everyone else would dutifully wear them every day, even in their sleep, mindful of the alternative.

Sand vipers like dark and cool places, just like humans in the desert. They are small and sleek, their bodies fashioned for zig-zaging through the golden dunes and escaping from sunlight. If they bite you, you don’t even feel it at first; you go on with your life, resume your duties. But after two hours or so, you start to shiver violently. Then, in mere minutes, you lose your balance. Then your sight, your hearing. And then you die, just like that. It takes maybe an hour from the first tremble. You don’t have any time to say goodbye, to write a letter to your loved ones. You are gone before you can feel yourself slipping away.

More Amestrians died from this goddamn venom than from any Ishabalan resistance, that’s for sure.

Riza’s sickness is kinda like that.

It takes time to unravel, gives her a room to breathe, gives Roy and the girls and even herself some hope against all reason, because how can she die if she still can walk and talk and smile? If she cooked a dinner yesterday and tended to the flowers in the garden in the afternoon?

Yes, she can.

Yes, she does.

One morning, she doesn’t get up.

I still have time to say goodbye, I still have some time, I still do. - she keeps on thinking right until it runs out.

ROY

In the end, after Havoc and Catalina take sobbing Sara away to their flat, it’s only Roy and Eli, alone. Her, curled on the bed by Riza’s right side. Him, kneeling on the floor next to the bed by Riza’s left side. Each holding her hand.

It’s very late and very quiet, no sound besides Riza’s heavy breathing. She has lost consciousness days ago and ever since then, Roy has been staring into her unseeing eyes and trying to spot just a spark of awareness in them, just a little bit of brightness. It’s all for naught, of course. Her eyes are still brown, but they are no longer hers. He doesn’t know where his wife went to, but she’s not here. He told that Eli a thousand times and more and she would always nod in understanding and then lay back down on the folded sheets and resume tracing gentle circles on Riza’s limp hand.

So he gave up trying to talk her out of staying. Besides, her presence gives him comfort, he cannot deny it; she’s the other set of heartbeat in the room that is not going to go silent any time soon. And she’s the only one who can possibly come close to understanding what he feels, no matter how different was Riza’s role in her life compared to the one in his.

Riza, Riza, Riza. Slipping through their fingers so damn quickly. He keeps on begging for just one more smile from her, just one more word that means anything; not the delirious babbling that she sometimes lets out, not those screams full of fury when they try to move her. She just went under so quickly and violently that it makes his head spin.

‘’Life is no more than a candle burning in the darkness, about to get blown away at any moment.’’ – Eli whispers, breaking the silence.

Roy almost smiles at that. They’ve been playing this game of quotes ever since she was six, but recently, she started to win more than lose. His bright girl.

“I don’t know.’’ – he admits, his eyes trained on Riza’s face. God, she is still so beautiful. Her skin is clammy from sweat, lips half-opened and cheeks hollow and she remains the only woman he has ever had eyes for. – ‘’Who wrote it?’’

‘’Mom said it.’’

Eli’s voice is heavy and, when he takes a look at her, he realizes she’s on the verge of tears.

“She did?’’

‘’Yeah. She also said I should cherish the light as soon as it lasts. But - papa, this is - so hard.’’ – his daughter lowers her head, her hair falling down and obscuring her face from him, but he can still hear her choked sobs. Her shoulders are shaking. She hasn’t called him ‘’papa’ since Sara was born.

She does not deserve this, crosses his mind. Maybe it’s my punishment for all the things I did, but she’s innocent. She’s good. She does not deserve this.

He wonders what he can say to her to make it easier for her and finds himself empty-handed and terrified. So he settles for the only thing he can say.

‘’I know, baby. I know.’’

He holds out his free hand and she takes it. Her grip is strong and sure, and he thinks, once again when did she grow up, when did it happen? Five minutes ago she used to have two long braids and missing front teeth. Ten minutes ago she used to be a sleeping babe by Riza’s breast, cheeks pink and brows constantly furrowed, as if she was pondering about the universe’s biggest questions. And now she’s here, they’re both here, holding hands in a circle and waiting in silence for the candle to burn out.

‘’She wanted to say goodbye so badly. We had so much time and wasted it all.’’

‘’We did not waste any time, dad. I don’t think you can ever really say goodbye to someone like that.’’

Riza dies before the morning comes, choking on the blood flooding in her lungs and flashing the whites of her eyes in desperate attempt to catch yet another breath. Roy does not cry; instead, he stays solemn and still as a stone, his voice loud and clear, telling her how he remembers when they first met.

“What a life we had, my love. You can go now, rest.”

He can feel his heart beating in his throat.

Eli sobs helplessly, clutching Riza’s hand to her chest.

“I love you mom, I love you, I love you.”

Maybe Eli is right. What more can you say than that? I love you, I will miss you. And Riza already knows all of that, wherever she is.

“You don’t have to be brave anymore, Riza.” - He tells her, every word dipped in honey of years well-lived.

And then there is only silence, uninterrupted, ringing in his ears like a gunshot.

He can swear that his wife last breath was a sigh of relief.

ELIZABETH

Dawn finds Elizabeth curled on the swings in the garden.

She has laid down here after mom died, hours ago; slipped out of the house just when the lights of uncle Jean’s car appeared on the driveway. In part, she wanted to give them all the space to say their goodbyes and didn’t feel like she was needed inside. In another part, she just wanted to be somewhere else for a while.

Nobody told her that death had its own smell.

And nobody told her that her mom’s corpse will still be soft and warm after she passes away. That, if one would not look for it, you could even not notice she wasn’t breathing.

Elizabeth sat on the bed and felt as mom’s hand in hers was growing colder and all she could think of is that it’s still her mom.

And so she fled, her feet wet from the morning dew and sobs still tearing through her body.

She’s not crying now; it feels like she has run out of tears, to be honest.

Somewhere, at the back of her mind, she’s thinking: there are mom’s clothes hanging in the closet. Her shoes put neatly on the shelves by the door. Her favorite mug, the one with chipped rim, on her bedside table. Her favorite perfume, the one in a blue glass bottle, in the bathroom.

What we’re supposed to do with all of that?

What am I supposed to do, when she’s gone?

Now it’s only her and sunrise, light caressing her face like her mom sometimes used to do, when she was tucking her in. She closes her eyes and she can almost see that; moonlight coloring mom’s hair silver and her soft, low voice wishing her goodnight. The smell of her shampoo. The quiet rhythm of her steps on the carpet as she was leaving, the sound of the door shutting close because Elizabeth never wanted the ajar.

Mom used to sing to her when she was sick. Soon you’ll get better. Soon it’ll get better.

Elizabeth pulls her knees to her chest and wraps her arms around them. Maybe she can pretend it’s not real, if only for now. Maybe she can forget that their time has run out.

Maybe she can just – close her eyes and think about her mom, about her face and her voice.

Ooo-ah, you’ll get better soon.

Despite the morning chill, for a moment, all she feels is warmth.

#royai #royai fanfiction #royai au #royai fic #fma #fma:b fanfiction

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lowbatterypleasecharge · 5 years ago

Text

k-pop preferences: FMA

Ed:

Monsta X - loud and gaudy, need I say more

Peripherally follows BTS - got to support them short kings

He wasn't a huge fan of Twice, but Al and Winry started playing the Feel Special Album and "Get Loud" is gospel

Stray Kids - "Miroh"... but also "Hellavator" and "DoUbLe KnOt"

Al:

SNSD are the Amazons we deserve

Of course he follows Taeyeon, you buffoons

Twice in general, but also "TT" - "TT" is his spirit animal

IU is Class™

Seventeen - well-liked by everyone, "Very Nice," how could you go wrong?

Winry:

Really anything she can bop to while working, she's not picky

Made her ringtone on Ed's cell "Pick Up the Phone," because what the hell Ed

"Save Me" saved her many times, during many work shifts

Them Loona girls are pretty cool - "Butterfly" is promising

"Tell me why-y-y I'm so lonely," she absentmindedly sings to herself as she stares, bleary-eyed at the arm plate she has to weld into place before the shipment at 6 AM tomorrow. Today. 2 hours from now.

"Sugar Free" is her workout jam, no judging

Hohenheim:

There are thousands of souls, sometimes at war, in his body. He loves and hates all music equally. Hyukoh hits a certain way, though. There's a silence within himself when he hears "Gondry" that he hasn't known for centuries.

Roy:

"Back in my day, we had quality music: Epik High."

Stuck in second gen

"Chaser" is his go-to drunk karaoke song - he and Hughes used to go to town on Fridays

(He may or may not have serenaded Hawkeye to "Mirotic" after a bottle of tequila...we don't talk about the scar on the back of his left knee)

Sometimes the young-ins do something right - I'm looking at you, "Shangri-La"

Riza:

Usually passes the AUX cord to someone else, but objective quality

Dreamcatcher is always a safe bet, style for days

Keeping her eye on BVNDIT because deep female voices are where it's at

SHINEE has her respect - classic, still going strong with "Good Evening"...as long as she never has to look at their debut hair again

(If she Tokyo Drifts to "I'm Sorry," only Black Hayate has to know)

Hughes:

Though technically unrelated to K-pop, we all know Hughes did a rendition of "Baby Shark" with his wife and daughter and proceeded to curse every military base he was stationed at

Knows most of the same songs Roy does, but also oddly informed on the K-pop landscape as a whole - from g.o.d. to, gods forbid, ITZY

Sings "Lovey Dovey" a lot - whether it's for the memes or because he unironically worships the song, no one can tell

Havoc:

Got7 ult bias - everyone wants to know why

But also, "Guys, iKON, 'Love Scenario' is where it's at."

Who's he kidding, really any gg could sing and he'd watch

Armstrong:

Every morning he eats his 5 dozen eggs to "Sixth Sense"

EXO's "Mama" dramatics are goals

Knows the dance to "Again and Again," for some reason

Lust:

"Bad Boys" by RV, but also "Peek-a-boo" MV is fire

Rip Pristin V, guys

Y'all wished they liked BP

Jennie is living her best life, though. Be hot...that's it, that's all there is to life. It's that easy.

EXID and Hyuna - free the titties, do God's work

Envy:

There's a vibration under their pillow, which doesn't really bother them. But it happens again. And again. They lift their head slightly, groggily squinting into the darkness of their room. And then...a slightly muffled "A-to-the-G-to-the-U-to-the-STD." "Oh, Lust can go to voicemail."

They wouldn't say they like "Instagram" per say, but it's like the song won't let go of them. It's on every Spotify playlist they have, somehow. It's unsettling.

Greed:

Block B sinner, through-and-through, cultural appropriation be damned - they want it all

"Monster," no explanation needed

"Bang Bang Bang" is now inextricably entwined in their vocabulary because God is dead, and we have killed them

(and "DDU-DU-DDU-DU," but hopefully his crew doesn't know that)

Ling:

"24 Hours" > "Gashina," and he will die on this hill

But also he's been determined to figure out how to Taemin since "Move"

Vape, you say? Be gay, you say?

Lan Fan is in charge of setting up "Trouble Maker" on the boombox before he yeets out the window, or maybe "Sorry Sorry"...it depends

"Young Lord, what is 'jyp's don't leave me,' and why is the dance tutorial in our search history?"

Greed!Ling:

They've made a compromise, it's 2NE1, and it's possible they're both better for it

Perhaps "I Am the Best" is the anthem they deserved, all along

Lan Fan:

Day6 - the existential yearning

"I Smile" she thinks, very much not smiling

Also, scene kid Lan Fan in her black hood, meditating on life's greatest questions and Seungyeon's "Guilty"

(In other news, Lan Fan has learned to suppress many things in life, the lyrics to "Some" are not one of them)

(P.S. "Gashina" > "24 Hours," but the Young Lord doesn't have to know that)

Mei:

Anything Al likes, obviously, though she despairs at gen 2 gg legs

Astro, obviously

I.O.I. - Korean releases only, she's not a heathen

"Just One Day" - romance in a nutshell

Has a weak spot for traditional Korean influences - "Lit" and "Idol" come to mind, though she's pretty sure she wouldn't like the latter under normal circumstances

Scar:

Doesn't normally listen to music outside of religious reasons

Did the military try to make Scar do a PR stunt to RM and Whales' "Change?" Yes, they absolutely tried.

Olivier:

Again, not a huge music person, doesn't really do it for her

A nod in passing to those who don't pander to the masses on Weekly Idol, even if she doesn't know who they are

(Ever since then, Armstrong keeps blithering on about functions? She thinks. She doesn't care to understand how they're connected to red lights or electric shocks, though.)

Dr. Marcoh:

Trot

"Man, the kids really can sing these days," he thinks, biting his bottom lip and bobbing his head to Masked Singer

#the moment pride said his favorite kpop song was arirang they should have cuffed the little f*cker where he stood #'daddy's favorite song' my @ss #fma headcanon #kpop headcanon #i guess?#txt post #long txt post

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