#but i like to think of it as having some new weird elements
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Fridays end, as they always do, as the life drawing class filters out of the room, and I scrub charcoal from my hands with the icy water in the classroom sink. I don’t know how I do it, get smudges on my fingers, my hands, the sleeves of my sweatshirt, but invariably I do. I use an old paintbrush left lying on the ledge to scrub my fingernails, too. They’re always filthy. I think I am inherently messier than everyone else, somehow, despite my best intentions to be something else.
“Und dein Gesicht.” The tutor, Gunther, says casually as he saunters from the room, shattering the illusion I had of having cleaned myself off. My face, too? How did it get on my face? The silver tap reflects a smudge above my eyebrow. I bring a handful of water to wash it away, and the coldness stings my skin. I shiver as it trails down my neck and under my collar. Cold. I’m always cold these days, even as January has limped into February and, along with the new year snow, my delusions that spring is just waiting to burst through the frozen soil, have melted.
My face, still damp, feels like it might freeze solid as I trudge across campus to the lecture halls. This is part of my Friday routine, too: Visiting the lecture hall. Not because I have an actual lecture. My art history class is on Wednesday. Astrid has it on Friday afternoon, finishing at half four, and I like to be there to meet her. My phone reads 16:40, the screen is bright in the fading light and the mist, grey, cloud hanging low over the brick pavers.
I make myself known with a knock on the door. It’s ajar, the room vacant of all students but Astrid, and she stands by a desk, her white blonde hair covering her face as she murmurs in German still too sophisticated for me to understand.
It’s Steffen who she is speaking to. Her art history lecturer. A rumpled, mousy-haired man with a leather satchel always slung across his body. He has an incessant need to discuss the minutiae of Astrid’s academic essays with her after class far more often than he does any of his other students. He wants her alone, and it sends a shiver up my spine. His lack of concern about being creepy is alarming. I could go around to everyone on campus and describe him as some lecherous old weirdo hunting women half his age. He would be ostracised, ridiculed for it, but it’s like the thought hasn’t crossed his mind, like he’s lacking some basic element of male shame.
I don’t like it. It freaks me out. I hate the way he holds her hostage after hours like this, and his habit of looking at her like she’s not flesh and blood, but some sort of otherworldly, celestial thing for him to rake his eyes over as he pleases. He enjoys her too much.
“Hello,” I say with all the obnoxiousness I can muster, and they both look up. Perhaps I am projecting onto Steffen, this notion I’ve bamboozled him, pissed him off by interrupting his time with my girlfriend, while he innocently helps her with her essay on female painters of the 16th century, but I swear he gives me a look, and I give one in return. He’s so weedy. I wonder if he knows that if the rules of university were the same as the primitive, hierarchical rules of secondary school, I would have snapped him in half already. Look at him, and his stupid glasses and his stupid leather bag.
“Danke, Steffen,” Astrid says, and scoops her books from his desk. I keep my eyes on him as she walks away, to make sure he’s not watching her do it, and I keep them on him until she has slipped out of the room ahead of me. I’ve never felt more like a territorial dog.
“Good chat?” I say, my intentions of sounds casual coming out weird instead, while Astrid strolls along next to me, examining the paintings hung along the walls of the hallway.
“Oh, yes, it was fine. We talked about Marietta Robusti, mostly. Steffan was showing me paintings of bowls of peaches and things.”
“Peaches?”
“Yeah, she painted peaches proficiently.”
“Right. You were just talking about peaches. He didn’t, like, say anything else to you, did he?”
“Not really. Why?”
She pulls on her coat as we exit to the courtyard and brace against the gust of icy wind. “Because of what I was saying before, about being careful around that guy. I think he wants more from you than discussion about bowls of peaches, you know?”
“Oh, yeah, I thought about that. You’re could be right.”
“I’m right?”
“Yes, I think he has a certain way of looking at me when we’re talking.”
“Oh,” I pause, having expected pushback. “Well, yeah, I think so too, and I think you should be careful about being alone with him.”
“Jude!” she cries, “He’s my tutor. I can’t stay away from him, exactly.”
“Yeah, but if he wants to drag you up every class to talk to you alone, then maybe you should pretend to be too busy. At least then you won’t be uncomfortable-”
“I’m not uncomfortable. He was saying interesting things about Marietta Robusti.”
“Marietta Robusti,” I echo, forlorn, and I hold the door to the café where we have our Friday afternoon coffee. “Maybe he should email you about Marietta Robusti and her famous peaches, huh? Has he heard of Gmail?”
“Or maybe you shouldn’t worry so much. It’s okay. He’s my tutor, and if he wants to speak to me about my assignments, then it is fine. If he wants to fuck me, I’ll say no. It’s like you think he will coerce me. Like he will lock the door of the classroom and trap me inside.”
“Yes, that’s what I was picturing. That he’d throw a big sack over you like a cartoon villain and run away with you slung over his shoulder.”
“Why do you say things like that? As if he has a sack waiting under his desk with which to steal women.”
I laugh at her unintentional comedy, and we reach the top of the queue. “Könnte ich bitte einen Latte, einen Americano und ein Stück von diesem Kuchen haben?”
The barista nods.
“I don’t want any cake today. I’m not hungry,” Astrid says. As we shrug out of our coats and hang them across the back of our chairs, I nod, “I’ll have it all to myself, then.”
I reach across the table for her hand, and stroke my thumb across the sharp peaks and valleys of her knuckles.
“Later, I think we should go to a play I’ve been interested in seeing,” she says. I pull a face, and she frowns. “What?”
“I hate plays.”
“That’s ridiculous. You cannot hate an entire art form.”
“I do. I just don’t like the way they talk and move their faces. It makes me cringe, and I find them unwatchable.”
“They need to talk and move their faces to say the lines.”
“We can’t go to a play, anyway. My friend Jen is coming.”
“Oh, is that today?” our order arrives, and she dunks her spoon through the foam of her latte to destroy the steamed milk heart on top. “I forgot it was happening.”
“Yeah, I’m leaving to collect her from the station in, like, half an hour.”
“That’s fine.”
“Are you still up for dinner at mine?”
“Oh, yes, we planned that too, didn’t we?” She exhales slowly. “Yes, I suppose. Though you live so much further from here than I do. Wouldn’t it be easier if we ate at my apartment?”
“What, like you’ll cook?”
“No, you can still cook, but at mine. Wouldn’t it be more comfortable?”
I take a contemplative bite of chocolate cake. Astrid’s apartment is smaller, but it has the unique benefit of not smelling like tobacco, and a heating system that works with some semblance of reliability. Still, we had a specific plan. Now I’ll have to tell Jonas.
“If that’s what you want,” I say with reluctance. “I suppose your place is a good bit nicer than mine.”
“I think Jen would like it.”
Jen wouldn’t care, but I nod in agreement. “Yeah, you’re right. It’ll be nice for her to go straight to a nice warm apartment, rather than, like… mine.”
“So true.” She steals a crumb of cake that crumbles onto my plate. “And I want to be in a good mood when I meet her. I feel I will be a little tired after travelling to yours.”
“Mm, good thinking.”
Astrid reaches for my fork, and I relinquish it. I watch as she digs wholeheartedly into the remains of my chocolate cake, then finally, in defeat, I slide the plate to her and let her finish the whole thing.
Beginning // Prev // Next
#lucky boy 2011#sims 4 story#ts4 story#sims story#sims 4 storytelling#simblr story#simblr#show us your sims#show us your story
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do you have any advice on like getting better with writing?
hey! i definitely do!! i’ve talked about this before but i have a lot of new readers, so ill start off by saying i’ve been writing for my entire life, and im 30 so thats a lot of years. if you’re a new writer, trust me i used to be there and good god if you guys could see the stuff i published in old fandoms 💀 really, really bad haha
i only say that because i by no means consider myself a great writer, there are fic writers in this space alone that i’m always so floored by and look up to…. but people have been very kind about my writing style and it’s something that took time to develop it’s not something i just “had”. outside of fic, i was a literature and creative writing major, and got very used to writing and workshopping pieces.
now! onto some actual advice —
1. read a lot and read more, but read stuff you actually like and not stuff you feel pressured to read. i love high brow litfic as much as the next pretentious english major, but i started writing a ton after reading a bunch of kindle unlimited romance because it was fun and it got me inspired
2. watch well written television for dialogue and pacing. people do not talk in proper english, they don’t say things eloquently, and there’s a lot of filler and fluff. that’s good! that’s real, so i love well written tv to show me how it’s done
3. get comfortable writing in weird ways. for years i used to sit down and be like “ah okay so chapter one” and then i was stuck, stalled out, and just felt bad about the process. when i started writing both aurora and tnt, i started in the middle. i had an image of a scene in my mind (for tnt it was actually the claim attempt) and i just wrote it out and then bounced around later
4. outlines are your friend! sometimes i’ll get a random line of dialogue in my head or an image but that doesn’t mean i’m ready to write it. i throw it in one big outline so i don’t lose it.
5. if you’re wanting to write really good smut i have two suggestions but please only do this to your personal comfort level. this is what works for me but do not make yourself uncomfortable— for good smut, i watch porn for reference and for good dirty talk, i listen to nsfw audio. i like to really write the visuals for smut and make it immersive but lol i haven’t experienced everything ive written about and logistics of the body are hard!! i usually find a video or an audio and let that help guide the imagery im writing.
6. be comfortable with the editing process. i know the temptation to post something the minute you finish it is there, but sleep on it. come back and edit it, read the dialogue out loud if you have to. i swear you’ll make the piece better just by leaving it and coming back.
7. don’t be afraid to post. most people are kind, and the worst thing that will happen is you don’t get a lot of notes. that’s okay, it’s a process.
8. research! as i’m writing anything, even a silly little oneshot, im doing research on something. i am hyper aware that im not korean and have never spoken korean or lived in korea, so for my fic i try my hardest to ground elements of that in reality. i truly cannot tell you how many hours ive spent reading like korean case law on revenge porn just for like 3 lines of dialogue. and you don’t have to go that crazy, i’m arguably too intense, but i do think some of that helps the story and the dialogue feel real.
9. describe something real- every place in my writing is based on something real. every apartment, hotel, cafe, venue, etc., they’re all either something i’ve found online or drawn from my life and use that to my advantage. i use apartment listings and save photographs, i do google map walks to see what neighborhoods look like, anything to get the feel of a place or an experience. for the christmas chapters of aurora, i watched hours of gwangju walking tour videos on youtube while i was writing just to understand how to describe their walk in the snow. it really helps me to have a visual that i can put words to.
10. find your weak points and see what other writers do differently. if you want to improve, you should find a small place to start. is it dialogue? overall plot? smut? etc. - i’ll never forget being on a creative writing retreat, and a very important writing professor said to me “everything you write is very pretty but you haven’t said anything. you have to decide to say something.” that feedback hurt, but sent me down a much better writing path when i realized where i was falling short and not challenging myself.
okay i hope some of this was helpful and if it’s a mess im sorry im on mobile. i really just love writing so deeply and will always talk about it, so i hope this was helpful 💗
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possible idea for a new sukuna x reader fic
in lieu of neglecting my longfic....
i have some ideas swirling around as concepts for new sukuna/f!reader fics, and i kinda wanna mess around with ideas of reincarnation, reader having a soul tie with sukuna, and a psychological story where the reader slowly falls into insanity (based on TDS album NIN bc i love them and that album as much as i love sukuna mwah)
so i was like how do i lowkey just combine all these elements into one story and now im thinking of a plot where essentially the story begins with the reader as a normal woman during the heian era with latent cursed energy. she's done dirty by sukuna somehow (he kills her) and in her moment of death a lifetime's worth of cursed energy manifests as a soul tie.
the woman reincarnates in the present day world, unaware at first of this whole past life ordeal and the soul tie. eventually some weird connection awakens and essentially when the woman she sleeps she wakes up in true form sukuna's body during the heian era (using him as a vessel), and eventually when sukuna sleeps he can wake up in the woman's body in the modern day. essentially they are connected despite the time gap and can use each other as vessels whenever they sleep. i intend the woman to slowly fall into some kind of insanity over the course of the story, or at least spiral downwards.
#writers block#beginner writer#jjk sukuna#heian sukuna#new author#jjk x reader#jjk x y/n#sukuna#sukuna x reader#ryomen sukuna#writing ideas#writing is hard#creative writing#jjk au#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#fic authors#sukuna fanfic#jjk imagines#sukuna true form#writing#fic ideas#the downward spiral#nine inch nails#isekai#enemies to lovers#does this make sense
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Jury duty sucks the turds right outta my ass, here’s a little doodle of Sweet Delta I did in the waiting room.
#art#my art#digital art#digital painting#artists on tumblr#self harm#tw self harm#sweet delta#dread delusion#dread delusion oc#this outfit is im no way appropriate for dread delusion#but i like to think of it as having some new weird elements#such as the orange accents being made of coral kept magically alive sentient and mobile
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I've seen the 'Sparks songs that could be TMBG songs' and vice versa comparision brought up a couple of times and idk if this one has been mentioned yet but I think Hippopotamus is really just the primest example of a 'TMBG song but it was actually written by Sparks'. Specifically it has so many elements characteristic of JL's songwriting. Obscure words! Interesting things done in the music theory sense that make it look kind of like an experiment / exercise in song form and that could even make it look like an excuse for them to mostly just fool around with this kind of stuff! (idk the specifics because I'm very not knowledgeable yet as for now in music theory, but I saw this mentioned somewhere too, it has something to do with the tonic / key resolution or whatever it's called I think, sorry, I don't remember). Seemingly absurd, non-sequitur lyrics! An unreliable narrator! I mean ok, it's mostly the obscure words that just happen to rhyme and thus make a good theme for a list of things to be found in the narrator's pool I suppose that made me think of this. And even the drumbeat during the uhhh, verses? (not the parts were the things in the pool are listed anyway) reminds me of modern TMBG for some reason
#also i've been thinking about how someone else said that HYL and glean could be seen as kind of sibling albums#but now to me it feels like it's hippo and glean that are connected in some weird way#i have no real reasoning for this other than just. the vibes i get#and i suppose the time both were released. not too far apart and could even work as a start of a bit of a new modern era for both bands#both are also more poppy than what came before them but still with some prominent rock elements. hmmmmmm#and have a bunch of oddities that don't sound like anything else on the record#(giddy giddy. life with the macbeths. all the lazy boyfriends. hate the villanelle)#ans some songs feel specifically like the other band's equivalent of the song. like tell me mrs. lincoln is the unpronounceable of sparks#don't ask me why. i don't know! it makes no sense but it's just the feeling i get. and purely in the musical sense. not the lyrics#goosepost
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Yandere x Yandere is an underused trope imho (Patreon)
#Doodles#Original#Yanderapy#Surprise surprise! They're both yanderes lol#That was actually the main element of the accidentally-combined-ideas - one of them was supposed to be not-yandere in one of them#Buuut I do stand by that yandere/yandere couples are underutilized for comedic and dramatic purposes and I'm only too happy to do it myself#In this case it's more on the comedic side because they're rather yandere-Lite™ - neither of them are interested in Hurting the other#Being weird and all up in each other's business and a little toxic and thinking about each other a lot? Yes lol#But also part of the comedy is that Because they're so into each other there's not really any need to escalate to violence#They just like each other too much!#And also Mitsuru was in therapy enough to pick up on some red flags of his own to curb so when he sees them in the wild he has workarounds#Ishida is pressing a boundary (and he knows it) to see if he can get Mitsu to agree to isolate himself#The thing with Mitsu is he's also a little dumb and innocent ♪ He's slow to pick up social cues and process new information#So he sees the behaviour (using negative-talk as a way to isolate) and instead falls back on his established skill (setting boundaries)#Without recognizing that Ishida meant anything malicious by it or that the response he was trying to illicit failed lol#He's a bit lovestruck as well so of course he's going to assume the best! Ishida also thinks it's cute so he knocks it off after a while lol#If I ever do go into drama with these two it's going to be interesting >:3c I do have some ideas just In General but them specifically hmmm#For now I'm happy to have them just be a silly comedic duo tho haha
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Scott Pilgrim is, I think, the best example I can think of for establishing a setting's Nonsense Limit. The setting's Nonsense Limit isn't quite "How high-fantasy is this". It's mostly a question of presentation, to what degree does the audience feel that they know the rules the world operates by, such that they are primed to accept a random new element being introduced. A setting with a Nonsense Limit of 0 is, like, an everyday story. Something larger than life, but theoretically taking place in our world, like your standard spy thriller action movie has a limit of 1. Some sort of hidden world urban fantasy with wizards and stuff operating in secret has a nonsense limit around 3 or 4. A Superhero setting, presenting an alternate version of our world, is a 5 or 6. High fantasy comes in around a 7 or so, "Oh yeah, Wizards exist and they can do crazy stuff" is pretty commonly accepted. Scott Pilgrim comes in at a 10. If you read the Scott Pilgrim book, it starts off looking like a purely mundane slice of life. The first hint at the fantastical is Ramona appearing repeatedly in Scott's Dreams, and then later showing up in real life. When we finally get an explanation, it's this:
Apparently Subspace Highways are a thing? And they go through people's heads? And Ramona treats this like it's obscure, but not secret knowledge. Ramona doesn't think she's doing anything weird here. At this point, it's not clear if Scott is accepting Ramona's explanation or not, things kind of move on as mundane as ever until their Date, when Ramona takes Scott through subspace, and he doesn't act like his world was just blown open or anything, although I guess that could have been a metaphor. there's a couple other moments, but everything with Ramona could be a metaphor, or Scott not recognizing what's going on. Maybe Ramona is uniquely fantastical in this otherwise normal world. And then, this happens
Suddenly, a fantastical element (A shitty local indie band finishing their set with a song that knocks out most of the audience) is introduced unrelated to Ramona, and undeniably literal. We see the crowd knocked out by Crash and The Boys. but the story doesn't linger on the implications of that, the whole point of that sequence is to raise the Nonsense Level, such that you accept it when This happens
Matthew Patel comes flying down onto the stage, Scott, who until this point is presented as a terrible person and a loser, but otherwise is extremely ordinary, proceeds to flawlessly block and counter him before doing a 64-hit air juggle combo. Scott's friends treat this like Scott is showing off a mildly interesting party trick, like being really good at darts. The establish that Scott is the "Best Fighter in the Province", not only are street-fighter battles a thing, Scott is Very Good at it, but they're so unimportant that being the best fighter in the province doesn't make Scott NOT a loser. So when Matthew Patel shows off his magic powers and then explodes into a pile of coins, we've established "Oh, this is how silly the setting gets". It's not about establishing the RULES of the setting so much as it is about establishing a lack of rules. Scott's skill at street-fighter battles doesn't translate to any sort of social prestige. Ramona can access Subspace Highways and she uses it to do a basic delivery job. It doesn't make sense and it's clear that it's not supposed to. So later on, when Todd Ingram starts throwing around telekinesis, and the explanation we're given is "He's a Vegan" , you're already so primed by the mixture of weirdness and mundanity that rather than trying to incorporate this new knowledge into any sort of coherent setting ruleset, you just go "Ah, yeah, Vegans".
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#thinking about finishing my 1d fics again and while with one super old wip i figured out how to write it sans heavy ot5 friendship dynamic#the two sequel fics for ‘swear i’ve known you since forever’ in ATSCO series…. oooh i fear i am Fucked#it’s not that i have beef with ot5 fic really it just feels weird for me personally to be writing it so#heavy handedly this many years on? and controversial take mayhaps but there are still plenty super involved ot5 fans out there putting out#mmm weird vibes? delusional even? not all of them ofc#but enough that i’ve seen especially on twitter and iii don’t want the association just bc i kept the dynamic in a fic i wrote lmao#(also i have some thoughts and opinions on things and people i did not have in the past too so! that doesn’t help)#i think for ATSCO i’m just gonna have to commit because i am Not rethinking a whole new plot for that series 4 years down the line#especially after i rewrote the whole plot like 5 times as well as the first fic in the series several more times as well…..#i’m not doing it again!! i’m not!! so if i DO finish either one of these fics specifically. please know if ot5 element stays in#moreso in ATSCO than the other one which has remained a secret 4 years on#know what i stand for and who i am… i know this matters to few but me but i’m putting it out there nonetheless#it’s still gonna be a hot minute before any fics get finished bc where my interests are rn and my focusing on art but! i stand by my word#and my fics are still intended to be completed!#(also sidenote i am. no longer replying to any update inquiries on here or ao3! i’ve already said why in the past that they#stress me out rather than encourage me so i’m gonna leave it at that! i honestly might even start to delete them from my inbox / comments#just because they get to me that bad like i literally avoid ao3 because of it so. yeah! pls don’t send me update inquiries <3)#alex talks
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#through a series of strange circumstances i've actually found myself in possession of a free copy of the new f*nal f*ntasy game#and i wasn't gonna play it after kind of fucking hating the demo. but like yk when shit's free i felt like i had to give it a bit of a go.#and i'm gonna try to play more of it but...it's so boring rn i'm so sorry#i do not care about these characters and i do care about the plot rn#and i literally feel like i'm going insane bc no one else seems to feel the way i do about it ggksbdk#like people are like 'the action combat is making it bad' and no that's not it#and other people are like 'people who don't like it have only played x' and no that's also not true#idk it's just weird and boring??#with some strange design choices and options that don't make a ton of sense to me#also tbh gameplay features that also don't make a ton of sense#like the consumable item carry limit. or the dodge button being what it is. or only being able to access a codex by talking to an npc.#like they're not game-destroying but they're odd and i don't quite get the point#but yeah idk i'm trying really hard to like it bc it actually kind of pains me to dislike a game in this series so much#but i just can't bring myself to be invested in the story or characters#i'm admittedly only 5 hours in but. i really would've expected something to sell me on at least ONE element by now#only thing i can say is generally positive is the majority of combat. just bc it's fine. nothing revolutionary i have no complaints.#interviews with y*shida are so funny tbh. where he's all talking about how he wanted it to feel different.#and that led to it feeling and looking like 17 other media properties. like...mission failed my dude.#anyway. i'll build up the perserverence to at least get...idk. 20 hours in is more than fair i think.#hoping it proves me wrong by then but good fucking lord. i've never been more dispassionate about a game from this series.#i'm not even like the people claiming it's 'not a REAL series entry'. like no it is. it's just a boring one lmao.
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I don't think I believe that people in Sunnydale High School think of the Scooby Gang as "Buffy Summers and her weird friends".
I mean, yes, they know Buffy is (more than) a bit weird and has a history of violence, and they know that she's often at the center of lots of strange things that happen in the school. But if you forget what you know about vampires and the Slayer and look at the dynamics and personal histories of that group from the outside, there's exactly one person who connects them all together. And it's not the (ex?) arsonist and (ex?) gang member who recently transferred to Sunnydale from LA.
Everyone in Sunnydale High seems to know Willow Rosenberg, and everyone knows she's a huge nerd who (A) love libraries and (B) has something of a history of either tutoring (e.g. Rodney Muson) or otherwise hanging out with (e.g. Shelia Martini) some of the school's more violent and dangerous elements.
There's Xander Harris, Willow's best friend since kindergarten (and who, unlike Willow, doesn't really seem to have many other friends at all after Jesse mysteriously vanishes)
There's the (weirdly religious?) ex-aronist from LA who Willow seems to be tutoring in the library a lot (see B above) or who she's possibly recruited as muscle. Sheila and Rodney both mysteriously went missing one day too, so people aren't that surprised when Buffy does herself at the end of junior year.
There's the English librarian (see A above) that anyone who has seen Willow's locker knows Willow has a crush on
There's the computer science teacher that anyone who has been in class with knows Willow also has a crush on, who sometimes has Willow come in to class to help her run sessions for remedial students on the weekends and whose job Willow (somehow) takes over when she dies
There's Cordelia Chase, who Willow has a whole historical Thing with, probably going back to when they were little kids themselves. People say Willow hates her but they're always hanging out together (there's a persistent rumor that they once spent a whole night together in a closet, if you know what I mean) and Willow helped run her campaign for Homecoming Queen. Cordelia was secretly dating Willow's friend for a bit and some people say Willow was really, really upset when she found out; read into that what you will.
There's the mysterious older guy in a band who doesn't talk much and that Willow is apparently actually dating. (This isn't the same older guy in a band Cordelia was dating, but oddly enough it is the same band.) A few kids swear they've seen him naked and locked up in the library at night.
There are (again, from the outside) people like Willow's childhood friend Amy and Amy's friend Michael, who people might remember were once being investigated by the police for ritual murder before Amy mysteriously vanished
To the outside eye, the Scooby Gang are Willow Rosenberg and her weird friends.
(A lot of kids swear that one time they saw her hold the whole Bronze hostage and rip a girl's throat out with her teeth, but of course Principal Snyder hushed it all up and she was back at school the next day. He really doesn't want to have to hire a new computer science teacher this year.)
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okay. yay :)
[ID: a half-done drawing in flat colors of op's dnd character, idunna, a pale young woman. she is shown from the hip up with her unfinished hands positioned before her at different heights. her long blonde hair is held back with a white cloth, the ends around her lower back are choppy. she wears a grey-ish blue dress with a white sleeved shirt underneath, and a light blue sash. /End ID.]
#nano bits#idunna#graphite loops#<-drawing tag for main#MEET THE GIRLY. because y'all are nice :)#she's my beloved druid. a circus caravan found her in a forest when she was like 4 :>#very connected to the elements but our dm is putting a lot of value on thunder magic specifically. which#cool#i think her whole thing is a little more wind and fire but i love how our dm has interpreted things for her#she does respect rituals and burials to help souls along on their trip beyond :> doesn't really matter if they're allies or not#i love role playing her she's so cute and her whole everything is heavily non encounter based. all the socials baby!!#might keep the length and have her do some of those crown braids after the debt is paid but i'll decide on that later#i'm getting WAY ahead of myself by making a new ref image but i've been so desperate to draw#and nothing was coming to me but this was like. we gotta do it RIGHT NOOOOW#so yeah<3#i felt so weird putting my main url on there asfjsjfjdjf. like who tf is that!!!#anywho. mwah<3#idk if this is the beginning of me oc posting but i'm comfy enough with y'all to not be too embarrassed about it#if i ever do some studies with the dnd sillies i think i'll post them on the artblog. but we won't know#until i do it asfhshfhsh ignore the hands i'm not emotionally ready to finish those#anyways don't perceive me too much<3
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“Realistic Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley headcanons” and then it’s just the fun police.
Mdni. Nsfw below cut.
- It makes me want to scoop my fucking brain out with a spoon when people say that Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley is some shy, anxious soft boy. I really do not believe he’d need to be coddled after a nightmare or babied when he’s feeling angsty. He is fine, y’all. Please don’t call paw patrol.
He is a soldier. He’s a war criminal. He is traumatized to the point of numbness. He is fucked up and weird and insane and honestly I think that we should all let everybody have their thing.
I cannot fix him. I do not want to fix him. I can only make him worse.
- Sorry but I just cannot write him having any kind of romantic feelings toward Soap. I like writing their dynamic more brotherly.
Furthest they’ve gone is ‘locker room gay.’
Like Johnny sends him dick pics on occasion because he thinks it’s funny and it pisses Ghost off.
That being said, I do read the occasional Ghoap fic. I’m not a perfect person. Sometimes it’s just yummy delicious.
- Feel like he’s the kind of freak to intentionally go to the gym without headphones. Something about discipline. Opting to just stare at the wall in front of him while he’s doing cardio or counting repetitions of exercises.
But on the rare occasion that he does indulge himself, he has a playlist of like 5-6 songs he likes and when it ends he just goes back to silence. Divorced dad rock. Chorded headphones only.
- Doesn’t have the debilitating commitment issues as people paint him out to have. Just commitment-phobic. Obviously stems from his past. He’s got that sexy deep rooted fear of abandonment or something horrible happening to people he actually lets close to him. But he’s not completely turned off by the idea of romantic attachments or close friends, just a little hesitant to open himself up to that kind of opportunity.
Probably very cagey about romantic partners. Doesn’t want the guys to know about you. Doesn’t keep pictures of you around his bunk or anything like that. He’s worried it’ll somehow compromise your safety. Worried about you getting swept up in his work.
- Women’s rights? Or Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley? I really do think he’d love to have a partner who lets him provide *everything* for them. He just wants to serve and protect. Wants his bird to be in a gilded cage all nice and safe and reliant on him for survival.
Doesn’t even really like the idea of you going to the grocery store by yourself. Would prefer if you just stayed put and tended his home and cooked him meals and let him dote on you and provide everything you could ever need.
- Has a really strange understanding of technology. He’s fine with the newer military stuff. That’s his element. He can do electrical wiring, set up a TV, install security cameras. That’s all whatever. But a cell phone? He doesn’t give a shit enough to keep up with the new updates and all the new things you have to learn when you get a smartphone. Wishes he would have kept a flip phone.
Texts like this: [OK. See youtonight.]
MAYBE has a private Facebook with no profile picture where the only things on his wall are Price wishing him a happy birthday every year.
His camera roll is like; 97 accidental screenshots of his Lock Screen, a few pictures of him and the task force boys, the inside of his pocket (another accident), a sunrise, a few cool things he found on missions, 34 pictures of Soap and Gaz when they took his phone.
- Insufferable in the early stages of trying to date him. Little to no communication other than basically demanding you meet him somewhere. Texting or talking on the phone? Like pulling fucking teeth. You think he’d rather be dead.
It was a headache getting him to go out in the first place. Maybe you worked at a bar where the guys would come to have a drink after a long day. He’s a little stand-offish but he’s handsome and he knows how to banter well enough for you to be persuaded by a coworker to slip him your number after you complained one too many times about a shit hookup or yet another terrible first date. It takes him nearly two weeks to phone you.
“Didn’t think you’d call.”
“Didn’t think I would either.”
He takes you out once, you think he seems sort-of interested, then he doesn’t phone or text you back for three days. You get over it. A few more dates in. You can tell he’s a bit more relaxed. A bit more open. You’re less worried that you’re a terrible conversationalist. Then he goes on a month long deployment without saying anything in advance. Radio fucking silent yet again. You want to tear your hair out. When he finally gets back, he’ll text you something like [Atthat pub you like. Drinks ?] completely out of the blue. You think you may actually go insane.
- Once he’s gotten used to you, it’s like the sole purpose of his life is to be your protector even if you’ve only recently convinced yourself he may want something casual. You’re small and grab-able. He knows how nasty people can be and what think when they see you. He needs to know that you’re taken care of, kept safe from such a scary world.
So he’ll just linger around you. All the time. Standing behind you when you’re at the till at the store, staring down the cashier who was only trying to be friendly when they asked if you had any fun plans for the rest of the day. Big arms folded over his chest. Looming so largely he threatens to eclipse you without taking a single step forward. Eyes burning a hole into the poor person who hastily finishes the transaction without another word.
Walking silently next to you in the evenings after you’re both off work; close enough to brush shoulders, but that’s about it. Listening to you chirp on about your day. Occasionally offering a small grunt of acknowledgement or a few words of interjection. Always walks on the side of the path that he thinks could pose you the most immediate danger. Shielding you from what may lurk in a darkened alley or a hedge or a small thicket of trees.
Scary dog privilege, but like… for when you go to fill your car up with gas in broad daylight in a good part of town and he insists on standing out there with you. ‘Just in case’ If he even lets you out of the car in the first place.
- AND OFF THAT POINT. I think once he’s decided that he’s actually fond of you, it goes from zero to a hundred so fast it makes your head spin.
Like the last time you spoke, it was still unclear on if you were keeping things casual or not and now you’re at dinner and the waiter just asked him if the two of you wanted dessert and Simon just grunts “dunno. Ask the missus.” ??? He sucks so bad I NEED him.
- As much as I love an overly possessive and jealous Simon, I saw this tweet that said “My girlfriend can wear what she wants because she’s a hoe and I knew that before we started dating” and it changed my life.
He’s secure enough not to need to cause a scene if someone makes a pass on you in public. He understands that you’re attractive and that other people are bound to find you attractive too. (Not that he doesn’t still want to pull their fingernails out one by one, threatening them and everything they love for daring to exist near you. He’s just got better control over himself than that. King.)
He knows he’s better than any of your other options. Nobody else could keep you as safe as he could. They don’t know the world like he does. They don’t know how breakable you are. How sweet and naive you can be.
Not to say he isn’t overly jealous and possessive, he just won’t pitch a fit in public.
LIKE dragging him to the bar with your friends and he sits at the table with all of your drinks. Him watching you dancing out of the corner of his eye, seeing some prat come up and grab your ass in passing. Or a group of guys dancing with your friends getting a little *too* close to you for his liking. He doesn’t do anything while the two of you are out- not wanting to ruin your fun. But that night after you’ve gotten back to his flat (He insisted. Closer to the bar. Uber was cheaper.) and he’s tearing your miniskirt off like it’s personally offended him. He’ll be a little rougher. A little more liberal with the marks his mouth leaves on your collarbones and inner thighs. His strong hands will grab at the fat of your hips a little harder than he should- leaving bruises where his fingers dug in. He’ll lean over you while you’re split open with his length, snarling down at you. “Had everyone’s attention tonight, didn’t you, pet?“ “You like havin’ eyes on you?” “Greedy fuckin’ slag.” “Can’t appreciate what you have.” “Need a reminder of who you’ve got to impress.” Maybe he’ll take you in front of a mirror, massive hand fixed on your jaw. Jerking your face up so you have to look at yourself being ruined by him. How pretty and slutty you look when your makeup is ruined by the tears he’s fucking out of you.
- He calls you ‘bird’ or ‘pet’ more often than anything else. A little on the nose for how he treats you. Like you’re some small, frail thing that can’t go a day without him. Stripped of your natural survival instincts and instead leaning on him for support and comfort and food and shelter. Just how he likes it.
GOD he’s a fucking freak. Gross and mean and fucked in the head. Makes my stomach hurt. I hate him. I wish I was schizophrenic so I could vividly hallucinate him.
#simon ghost riley#cod mw2#call of duty#simon riley smut#simon riley x reader#simon riley x you#simon riley#ghost cod#ghost mw2#ghost x reader#cod x reader#call of duty smut#cod smut#141 headcanons#headcanon#drabble
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Not Quite Home
Kinktember Day 15: Stand & Carry
Kepler Youngeun x male reader smut
words: 1,495 Kinktember Masterlist
She is everything you're not. Everything you hate. How can someone refuse to have a place to call home?
All this about being a free spirit and experiencing everything that the world has to offer all sounds well and good but how is a tree supposed to grow if it has no roots? But Youngeun insists that is exactly what she is after, the constant thrill, the constant novelty, the rush and urgency. In every interaction, she seems to have been in search of the next big adventure.
And you think you do her a disservice by not understanding.
Perhaps if you had met each other under other circumstances, things might have gone better for the two of you. But now, you resent how she feels like a stranger whenever you're together. She once brought an element of excitement and risk to a routine, drab life, but that grew exhausting and more than once made you feel like you were suffocating. You grew to loathe her carelessness.
"Your parents?" You ask as she stands in your bedroom for the third night in a row, "Have you even told them you're back in town?"
She shakes her head in lieu of an answer, "You know how they are."
"You're going to blame them for wanting their daughter to visit for once?"
Youngeun laughs. It's one of your least favourite traits—her incapability to take anything seriously. "Not your business. Besides, seven nights, remember?"
Yes. Seven nights. This is what she told you, another expiry date on another chapter of whatever the fuck this is between you. Another unspoken contract was signed for the hell of it. A time limit, for something that isn't even real.
"Just think about it," you continue, hopelessly, "talking with your family. It'll clear your mind."
"Know what clears my mind? The wind in my hair, sun on my skin, music in my ears," Youngeun runs her hand through her silky hair, "Landing in some new town, finding a new local hang out to try something exotic and then exploring whatever is hidden in that town's history, picking up a new person, hooking up with them, letting the excitement course through my veins, knowing there's always something else waiting on the horizon."
Another insufferable thing that she does. It's been maybe fifteen minutes since you tangled limbs in the bed and now she's standing across the room naked making no secret of the fact that she picks up guys and girls wherever she goes. Youngeun looks down at you on the mattress and runs her eyes up and down your body, her fingers resting lightly over her collarbone.
You follow the line of her fingers, nails cut short with traces of peeled black nail paint. A callus on her finger is a reminder of how often she played the guitar. She runs them down her chest, thumb catching a nipple in the process of doing so.
"Look at you. You get hotter every time I come back." And just like that, Youngeun drops a compliment, casual and effortless and you question who's benefiting from this relationship because it clearly isn't you.
You're gonna fuck her again tonight. Tomorrow too, and another three nights after that. After which she'll be gone for another six months to a year. There's a weird emotional emptiness to this routine—you give and she takes and this is all she asks.
"Come here, will you? Pin me to this wall already. Make me feel you." Her hand cups her breast and another traces its way down her abs, a clear intention.
You should hate her, really. Like how you hate the idea that she left home for no reason or how she wasted her potential, hate her for her indifference, for her recklessness and her cold detachment, or hate the fact that it's just meaningless sex.
She doesn't like strings, it makes no sense to her how people commit. If she was the type of person who asked to be understood, you would probably try to, but that's never something she ever expressed.
For all of that, you don't hate her. It's why you're still walking towards her and she's backing up into the wall.
So, what does she ask for? Her answer is pleasure and pain.
She kisses like a raging fire. Everywhere her hands roam leaves marks on your skin; she scratches deep in your back as you hook her thigh up around your waist. A hand between her legs, sliding in without any sort of preamble. She's still dripping wet, though some of that may well be your last load. She tastes of salty, sweaty sex and you relish it. She kisses and she gasps as your fingers work at her entrance; crooking them upward so you can press them into her and rub right against the sensitive spot inside her.
Her tongue slides past yours, hot and wet as she grinds up into your hand, claws digging into your lower back. Your hand fucks into her roughly with reckless abandon and her breathing gets shallow as your fingers bring her closer and closer.
It doesn't take long, she's close, you know that when she throws her head back against the wall. "Stop—wait, fuck—wait," Youngeun barely gasps and then with your name in her throat, the friction of your fingers sends her over the edge. A moan escapes as her mouth falls open, eyes clamp shut as you finger her to orgasm.
It's always been easy to make Youngeun cum, but it never loses its magic. There's something particularly thrilling to the way she moans your name in that honey-laced rasp, to the way her entire body arches upwards as the pleasure mounts. A sharp gasp cuts the air.
Her limbs slacken. She leans her head against the wall. She's struggling to catch her breath.
And this is the fucking problem. For every reason to hate her, there are so many more reasons to enjoy her.
That's when you lift her, hooking up the other thigh and holding her by her tight little ass. Youngeun hisses and she's staring daggers and that's always a part of the fun. She'll give you these looks that could kill a lesser man, but you know the only solution is to pound her into submission.
"Be rough with me. Hard," Youngeun pants, sucking air in, breath ragged. Her skin's hot to the touch.
"Like last time?" Your voice comes low, thick and gruff as you hook her legs higher.
"No, harder, faster," Youngeun replies between rapid, short breaths, she grips your arms, rolls her hips and wraps her body tighter around you, "Want me to stay? Fuck me until I can't walk out."
You're incensed and sliding your length over her slick, warm, inviting heat, before slamming her back into the wall, entering her in one long hard motion and enjoying the way her lips fall apart; enjoying the way her hot and messy, fucked-out body arches upward as you hit deeper and the way her cries pitch. You don't even wait for her to catch her breath before snapping your hips over and over and giving Youngeun exactly the type of pounding that she wants.
There's a sharp gasp. A second of silence and then a choked-back scream. You feel a palm on the nape of your neck and a sting on your shoulders as her nails dig deep and scratch. She rakes them over the broad expanse of your upper back and it fucking hurts. It fucking stings and it's delicious. You bury yourself deep inside her, stretch and fuck her all open on your dick.
"Like that. Yes! Like that! Fucking ruin me."
"Since you asked so nicely."
Her moans become a struggle now that you've run a hand roughly up her body and planted it around her neck. Squeezing, not too hard, not to cut her airflow, not to bruise, but firmly enough that she will feel it and feel that she is being held. She loves to feel hopeless. And there, that's what you like: her hot, sweaty body locked between you and the wall and helpless against you as you sink into her.
And as much as she says it doesn't mean anything. Youngeun cries out your name like it means something.
The ever-familiar suffocating grip of her wet cunt grips you as she cums again. Bodies flushed together, grinding and sweaty.
"I can't breathe—" Youngeun whimpers in that cracked, vulnerable and submissive way and you snarl. Fuck her up as promised. Hurt her like she begs for. And Youngeun loves it like nothing else, absolutely nothing, her eyes rolling to the back of her head and a strangled groan as you reach another climax and fill up her pussy again. You pound yet another load into her tight hole.
As much as she would hate to ever admit it, this is as close to a home as she has in her life.
#kinktember#kpop smut#youngeun smut#kepler smut#kpop fanfic#male reader#m reader#smut#youngeun x reader#standandcarry#kep1er smut
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could you pleasee do a gravity falls one shot?
so basically Bill Cipher meets the youngest Pines member but they're like 3-4 years old. And basically Bill doesn't know how to react, he's all confused but also in awe. Make it fluff and i know it's going to be hard to write this as canon Bill Cipher so you can ignore if you want <33
Bill Cipher x Child!Reader (PLATONIC)
The forest surroundcing the Mystery Shack was quiet. Somewhere between dimensions, floating lazily, was Bill Cipher, his single eye half-lidded with boredom. His typical schemes to cause chaos were on hold, and for once, he was simply… existing.
That’s when he heard it—a soft giggle, light as a feather. Bill’s eye snapped open, immediately. There, standing among the wildflowers, was a small figure with messy hair, chubby cheeks, and a bright, curious gaze.
The youngest member of the Pines family.
His eye narrows slightly. A little kid, no older than three or four, was staring right up at him. Her tiny hands gripping a stuffed animal that seemed to be some kind of hybrid between a cat and a duck—perfectly nonsensical, just the way Bill liked things.
“Well, well, well, what do we have here?” Bill floated closer, his voice carrying its usual sarcasm. “A little ankle-biter out all alone? Shouldn’t you be with your oh-so-boring family?”
The girl tilted her head, eyes wide and sparkling with the kind of innocence Bill found really weird. She didn't seemed scared. She suddenly reaches out, poking Bill with a tiny finger in pure curiosity.
Bill’s eye widened a little in surprise. Most people who encountered him would either scream, run, or try to strike some ridiculous bargain. But this little human? She just poked him like he was some new toy.
“Hey, hey! Hands off the merchandise!” Bill exclaimed. He wondered, why wasn’t she afraid? Why wasn’t she running? And why, in all his chaotic glory, did he find this child so… interesting?
The child giggled again, a bubbly sound that seemed to echo in Bill’s mind. She pointed at him with her free hand, her other continuing to clutching her stuffed toy close.
“Triangle!” she declared proudly, their voice high-pitched and filled with wonder.
Bill let out a bark of laughter, genuinely amused. “Oh, you’re a smart one, aren’t you? That’s right, kiddo. I’m a triangle, the best triangle you’ll ever meet. Got any other shapes in that little brain of yours?”
The kid smiled. They started babbling, half-formed words about god know what, pointing excitedly as if expecting Bill to just understand them. The demon was used to others feeling fear, but this… this innocent curiosity was something else.
“Alright, kid, slow down,” Bill said. “You think I can just whip up stars and moons like a party trick? You’re talking to Bill Cipher, not some street magician.”
For the first time in… well, forever, Bill felt utterly out of his element. He could outsmart the smartest, scare the toughest, and twist anyone around his finger, but this kid? She just saw him entertainig.
Bill hovered beside them, his eye following them every move. He had cought a small, harmless ball of light, flickering in and out of existence.
“Yeah, yeah, enjoy it while it lasts, kid,” Bill mumbled, though there was no more venom in his voice.
The girl just grinned, leaning her head against his triangular form as if he were just another friend, not a demon with a penchant for chaos. Bill let her, floating there quietly as the sun dipped lower in the sky.
For once, he wasn’t planning anything. No schemes, no deals, no manipulation. Just a strange, peaceful moment with a little human who saw him not as a threat .
And for reasons Bill couldn’t quite fathom, he didn’t mind it one bit.
#gravityfalls#gravity falls fandom#bill cipher#the book of bill#journal 3#bill cipher x reader#fluff#platonic#childreader#x child reader#bill cipher x you#headcanon#platonic relationships#child reader#gravity falls x reader#bill cipher x oc#gravity fals#gravity falls x you#fluff oneshot#platonic oneshot#oneshot#gravity falls
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I'd also like to add a couple - specifically it'd be catered for upcoming season 19: In the very beginning you can hear Sarge in the background calling for all his troops to meet up outside in like five minutes. The shot is an Animation shot showing Grif and Simmons from a chest down view in their Kevlar suits, before they're suiting up and they're just bickering about some dumb bullshit that leads them into a rock, paper, scissors match. Best two out of three. Hands have no gloves so we see their bare hands and they're wearing rings. This is the only time we see this and it's just never mentioned/referred to again. - - Or, ending shot of S19 is just, everything is said and done... theirs a base or some other place they're at. It's a wide/close in shot. It's sunset. Theirs a ship waiting in the distance with everyone else scrambling around to get on - like they are going home to Earth. Back view as they remove their helmets, can't see faces, but they're staring off towards the ship and the others. Grif's arms around Simmon's waist, Simmon's arm around Grif's should, since he's taller. Dialog: [G]"When we get home, I'm sleeping for a year." [S]"That's physically impossible. You can't do that." [G]"Watch me. After all these years putting up with all this bullshit? The Universe fucking owes me one; and don't try to wake me up! Just let me sleep." [S]"Again, physically impossible. Also, how am I waking you up? Exactly? What, are you expecting me to go to Hawaii?" [G]"Doesn't have to be Hawaii." [S]"Wait. . . What?" [G]"For being the 'Smart One' of the group, you're been pretty fucking stupid right now." [S]"You're the one being cryptic right now, asshole!" [G]"No, you're just being a stubborn dick by making me actually say it." [S]"Well maybe some of us actually need clarification for what it is!" [G]"'Home' is with you, Simmons. My 'home'. . . is with you." [S]" . . . " [G]" . . . " [S]" . . . Does that make things weird?" [G]"Tucker got pregnant and had an Alien baby. A crazy asshole with too much power and government money spent the rest of his life cloning his dead wife multiple times in order to use her to fight a war, along with cloning his brain for the same reason, while also getting his own kid involved in all his own bullshit, which then in turn brought us into said bullshit. Half our career wasn't real, until it was when we got dropped on a planet during a civil war at the ass edge of space which in turn then led to us taking down another corrupted government organization with the help of the crazy asshole's ghost. When, exactly, have our lives not been weird?" [S]". . . . Technically, Church was an AI-" [G]"You are such a fucking Nerd." [S]"You're my home too, Grif."
Funny and CURSED Grimmons ideas-
-They just casually say "We actually started dating a few months ago", and literally do nothing different. They still bicker the exact same way, and the relationship is never brought up again
-They have a Big Dramatic Moment where one or both of them almost die, and a whole confession happens. They either bail in the after-math and try to pretend they didn't mean it, or they finally just lean into it and let it happen
-They stand around on the roof of a base, look at each other, then just shrug and start holding hands. That's it, that was the whole I-Love-You moment
-Everybody gets a little bit drunk and plays Truth or Dare, either Grif or Simmons are just tipsy enough to be honest when asked about their feelings, but not so smashed they don't remember later. No take-backs!
-A genuinely sweet moment where they talk while everybody else is busy, and there is the whole journey they both go on when they realize "Oh, I've known you for most of my life... oh, you've seen me at my worst and still like me... oh, I kind of can't imagine myself without you being right there"
-Somebody else flirts with Grif for exactly 5 seconds, and Jealous Simmons is activated- "Back off, he's mine"
-Simmons gets Grif a life-time supply of Oreos for his birthday or whatever, and Grif just gets down on one knee immediately
-Memory loss shenanigans, in which both of them forget they're supposed to find each other annoying, and they just go kiss for 2 hours. When the memories return and the others ask what Grif and Simmons were up to for so long- "Well, I can tell you what we WEREN'T doing"
-Sarge of all people yells at them to- "JUST DO IT ALREADY!!!"
-After the whole "Meta" issue gets resolved, the AI have fun hanging out with everybody, getting to know their new friends. Sigma is in Simmons' head for 5 minutes, and has to make a PowerPoint presentation on "Why You Might Be Ignoring Your Feelings"
-There is a big event for a wedding, everybody is fussing over Grif and Simmons, asking if they're "ready for the big day", it builds up like they're finally going for it... and then it is revealed to be a wedding for Kai and Donut. Double queer-bait fake-out
#red vs blue#rvb#dexter grif#richard simmons#grimmons#some very random ideas I thought of in like 10 minutes#It's Kind of weird - No not the ship but the RVB series and RWBY series are like both by RT . . . but like#RWBY did have planned and got Bumblebee and there's other queer rep in it as well so what's weird is that I keep thinking RVB#wouldnt have some kind of LGBT in it and like it totally does because multiple characters have referenced some kind of queerness#but I think it also stems from the fact that a lot of these shows I love tend to rarely have an up front and center gay or lesbian ship an#I keep thinking 'Oh no this won't happen' then go... 'well why not?' they did it for this show over here and Im like 'Oh yeah they did'#and then like people on the team even say 'Oh yeah its a Thing(tm)' and I'm still feeling like its out of reach#there's the aspect of playing up the element on the sidelines which can be great - shows you know your fanbase#but also that could just be a nod and wink to it but never actually pulling the trigger so to speak. . . Which again I digress#Is the exact nature of these two idiot assholes FUCK#uuugh#RVB is my new Bridge Fixation now... which is a mini fixation between my overall Hyperfixation ... why am I like this
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for @steddie-week day 3 | long (and a little bit of mutual pining but the kind when they're literally dating which i think is even more pathetic)
tags: modern day, famous au, actor!steve, rockstar!eddie
Eddie stayed longer than he should have.
He was supposed to leave Chicago with the rest of the band yesterday after their show at Credit Union 1 – opening night for a year-long national tour.
Eddie didn’t leave yesterday though. Instead, he insisted on spending one last night with Steve, one last morning pretending like they would actually get up and go to that breakfast spot they like even though they both knew they’d be spending the time wrapped up together in their bed, in the home they share, refusing to disentangle themselves until they had no other choice.
No other choice meant Eddie waited so long to leave that he ended up on a flight which would get him into Ohio with barely enough time to make it to the venue in Cincinnati before showtime (and he was missing soundcheck completely – sorta shot himself in the foot with that one, in Steve's opinion, though he won’t be caught complaining).
He won’t be caught doing anything – not publicly, anyway.
Steve and Eddie’s relationship is kind of in the halfway-stage between secret and private, where Steve posts vague, faceless photos of the two of them every now and then but still deflects questions about his romantic life during interviews because – look. He and Eddie are both at weird high-points in their careers at the moment, and that means there’s a lot of eyes on them whether they like it or not. Steve had a public relationship turn sour years ago and there is no way in hell he’s letting it happen again.
Not with Eddie. Not when it counts.
There are speculations, obviously (and after Steve dropped Eddie off at O'Hare, he posted a photo of the Kiss n’ Fly sign to his IG story with the caption i hate this place :( – mostly for his own amusement at the specific way his notifications implode afterward), and they’ll probably get around to an official hard-launch someday, but for now Steve likes that they’re keeping things to themselves, especially when they don’t get to make that choice with much else.
Steve gets a just landed text from Eddie a few hours after he boarded his plane.
(Steve knew. He’d been tracking the flight).
Before he could respond, Eddie added, miss you so fn much
i miss you too, Steve texted back, and before either of them could wallow in it too much, he sent, gonna make it on time?
probably, Eddie answered. Then, getting ready in the car lol
He goes quiet after that (the getting ready, presumably), which is fine.
Steve gets it.
He’s busy too. It’s why he’s not following along on Eddie’s tour like some glorified groupie, and it’s not like the distance is anything new. On the contrary, it’s been an element of their relationship since they met at an awards show after-party four years ago. It’s more that this time around, they were supposed to only have four-and-a-half weeks together before Steve headed off on a press tour for the movie he filmed last year, but then that got pushed out a bit further, and so that four-and-a-half weeks together turned into a glorious nine, the longest Steve and Eddie’s calendars had ever been aligned without some serious planning beforehand.
He just got used to it, Steve supposes.
He got used to having Eddie around all the time, under his fingertips, under his skin. He got used to saying goodnight in person, in their bed together instead of over phone lines, got used to waking up in Eddie's arms and hearing sweet nothings whispered in his ear rather than reading the texts Eddie would leave for him to wake up to when they were apart.
He'll adjust just like he always does, and the worst part will be over tomorrow morning – that moment right between sleep and wake when Steve will realize Eddie isn’t in their bed with him.
Like it or not, the distance is their normal and they make it work (except it’s not even making it work, because it’s not like that. Any situation, any set of circumstances will work without question because it’s Eddie).
The start time for the Cincinnati show comes and goes. A few minutes into the opening act and while Steve is mindlessly flitting between Instagram and TikTok waiting for the algorithm to fill his feed with clips from the concert (ones of Eddie, preferably), his screen lights up with a call.
“Hey,” he says the second he slams his thumb on the green accept button.
“Hey,” Eddie replied, his tone nothing short of grim.
“You geared up for the show?” Steve asked.
“No,” Eddie answered, “I’m quitting.”
Steve rolled his eyes.
“Yeah, okay.”
“I need you to come tuck my pockets in,” Eddie said, and it’s a goddamn wonder Steve didn’t break down then and there, because Eddie always managed to tug his pants on in a way that made the front pockets stick out just a bit, and throughout their years together Steve had gotten into the habit of tucking them back in for him, squeezing Eddie’s hips a little when he was done and pulling him in for a kiss.
“Yeah,” Steve manages a wet laugh, “I – fuck, man, I wish I was there to tuck them in for you.”
“I want you here so bad, Steve," Eddie says, "I really, really miss you."
“I miss you too,” Steve nodded, even though miss isn't a big enough word for the homesick feeling in his chest, “Only a week until the Indy show though. And I’m coming with you for the Michigan one after.”
“Yeah,” Eddie replied, and if he sounded a little morose about it, Steve was right there with him. Sure, it’s a comfort knowing he’ll be seeing Eddie again so soon, but when those two days are over…yeah, it’s gonna be a long goddamn while until next time, because Eddie will be playing the Midwest while Steve’s press tour is mostly on the East Coast this time around, and after that he heads up into Vancouver to shoot a period drama mini-series while Eddie plays the southern half of the US, and then…well, Steve could keep going. They’re both taking a short break for the holidays, but that and the rare weekend one of them can fly out to the other is about it for the foreseeable future.
Which, yeah, Steve loves acting, loves that he gets to make a whole career out of it, and he knows that Eddie feels the same way about his music, but…the love he has for Eddie definitely edges out the rest of it – enough that he feels the distance between him like a dull, ever-present ache whenever they’re apart.
Eddie only ends their call when his manager practically has to yank the phone out of his hand and shove him onstage, and then Steve settles back into bed, back into scrolling mindlessly on his phone waiting for his finely-tuned algorithms to do their jobs.
Sure enough, it takes less than thirty minutes for Steve’s FYP to start showing him TikToks from Eddie’s show, and amidst all the hair and leather and silver chains and chunky rings and eyeliner and manic energy, Steve sees something else, something that has the hurt of missing Eddie increasing ten-fold, something that has him seriously considering taking an ax to all his contracts and his career and his livelihood and getting on the next plane to Cincinnati.
Eddie left his pockets untucked.
#tour dates are vaguely inspired by the US leg of Metallica’s Damaged Justice tour#features some sneaky secret-relationship bits i yoinked out of the day-1 prompt i lost control of#steddie#steve harrington#eddie munson#steddie week 2024#long post for “long” prompt ig lol#might come back and edit this a bit more tmrw
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