#but i know im not wanted in those spaces either simply due to being support crew rather than sf or infantry

[siveine]

i think im so nervous about finishing my contract because i wont know what to do with myself afterwards. like, sure theyve forgotten about me and nearly abandoned me, and im quite literally being used then thrown away, but after i get my discharge papers im going to be without purpose again and i dont know if i can do it a second time

[divinaes-bookofsecrets]

Add something if you'd like?

Whats your thoughts on this upgrade or is it 🤔

Please share your personal experience too, to show off 😏 jk

🌟 Comment comment comment REBLOG!!! PLEASE please 🙏 im curio

Techno Witch

Filed under: Pagan Life, Spells & Potions — Leave a comment

I work with technology a lot, including virtual reality, and it made me wonder what or how it could pose as some good use for magick and witchcraft.

At the start of being Pagan, many things I did were very offline. I read physical books, went to physical locations such as the library and metaphysical shop, wrote in my physical B.O.S., things like that. If anything, I preferred it that way, things were very much in reach and given the history of magick is very much more so on paper than in bytes, it made better sense to me.

But eventually, technology got better and easier. More and more resources were online, and reliable resources at that. Granted, there is still a lot of bunk and dribble on the internet. Why people like to pick up spells from random corners of the internet is beyond me. If they are easy to get and plain out there for the world to see and, even worse, come with a price tag, it is probably fake. Some witches do indeed do paid spellwork/pay for pray but not to the excessive number that exists on the internet. More on that later, but basically, tech made witchy info collecting easier. It has probably been a while since I have penned in my B.O.S. but, if anything, I have more of a Disk of Shadows (D.O.S.) now. I have particular tumblrs and tags that I follow or curate on my own that are informative and helpful to my works and endeavors. They’re sometimes really hard to find, and sometimes they are not (if you know what to look for). There are more digital groups for Black Pagans and other minorities/poc now than when I started over a decade ago. Due to the internet, there is better access to much better information about non-European cultures that is not filtered through the perspective of a random White academic slathering on a layer of their own personal bias to the details and calling it “correct, accurate and objective information”. People can do their own research and not be blocked by institutions or paywalls.

But there’s still a lot of bunk on the internet. Due to the pop culture sensation of “witchiness” (basically think of anything American Horror Story, The Craft and the Sabrina reboot has pumped out, add some culture-vulturing via “I am a bruerja” and you got it), it makes decent info still rather hard to find. Since books and old texts that may or may not be translated well or correctly are not that popular, it is easier to find people who, frankly, don’t really know much of what they are doing, they just really like sage, cultural appropriation, gothic clothing and perhaps nursing a drug habit. They’re all over Instagram with their filter-laden pictures, offering to cast spells and do divination (usually tarot, because, what else are they going to learn? Cartomancy? Numerology? I Ching? Elective Astrology? Not as popular) but don’t seem to really know much about ethics and the other boring stuff of learning actual, proper witchcraft. It’s easy to blame just about everything on Mercury retrogrades but if that person has never heard of an ephemera before, they probably are also dead wrong about anything retrograde as well. Spells are cool and mysterious (not really), reading and research is … well, how many pop culture witch characters have you seen buzzing around countless books going “I thiiiiiiiiink this is definitely super old school Congolese – liiiiike, way, way, before colonialization. And of course, it’s a half-page passage in an out-of-print book and features a next-to-dead language. So we should either pick a different spell, or start bothering really old people who may or may not remember such a language – assuming the invading White folks did not torch or steal their cultural history – oh wait, it’s sitting in the British museum, with an incorrect placard and everything. Great, now may we have to talk to stuck up, myopic, well-dressed thieves that think they’re not stuck up, narcissistically stupid, or sticky fingered because ‘I have a degree and institutional prejudice is on my side’. You know what? Killmonger had some good ideas. Someone grab some coffee, that is probably the easier option”? Outside of Hermione Granger, not really anyone in witchy pop culture is very “research is good, research is great, research keeps random entities you summoned and can’t get rid of out of your home and life.” So it can make good info hard to break through the ether. Nothing is wrong with liking pop culture depictions of magic – I get a kick out of Doom Patrol’s magnificent depiction of chaos magick – but it is a bit of a problem when people try to base their practice on movie magic. Yes, psionics is real, yes, magic is real but no, it doesn’t look exactly like the tv and movies. If anything, they can be a lot more stressful and annoying.

I think being a technology-based witch, for me, is simply involving technology in your practice. I have thought of the idea of making a virtual space for spellwork and personal practice but then I think about my track record with magick, energy movement and electrical items. VR systems are pricy and I have made electrical items go ka-put. And, again, VR systems are pricy. But others could benefit, especially those who may not have the space or safety to comfortably practice in the real world. You can make whatever you want in the virtual world and it can be your own spot. A digital altar, a digital casting circle, the list goes on and on.

At first, I wasn’t too sure of these things because, well, they are new. No one was using computers for such practices – or any practices – centuries ago. But all technology, no matter how rudimentary, was considered new at one point. All creations were considered new at one point. From the typewriter, to the wheel, to fire itself. Certainly the deities can be understanding of some of these changes. As long as the changes are relatively seamless, especially for some deities. For example, some sun gods probably would not be too keen on the use of cell phone flashlights vs. actual natural light sources, like a flame made from the sun’s rays. I imagine working with water deities would be stress-inducing unless you are very confident in the IP rating of your technology and trickster deities + internet is probably literal trouble if you do not know what you are doing.

Has all my practices gone digital? I don’t think so but I do think a vast majority of it has. It has been the easier option for me but I always bear in mind that it is good to at least have back ups and that not everything worthwhile is on a computer. There is still always going to be a need for physical things. Links die, computers break and sometime technology can over-complicate simple processes. That and not everything is on the internet, not everything has been digitized and some things are simply harder to find digitally because the metadata is not up to snuff or it is plain incorrect. Thus it is good to find a decent balance, even if that balance is majority tech with analog supports.

Source:

Source:

[astrologysvt]

SVT as Boyfriends - Vernon

Happy Birthday Nonie~ 🎉 You confuse me constantly and that makes me want to baby you 💛

anonymous asked: im not sure if u do these kinds of posts so feel free to ignore if u don’t but can i request vernon as a bf according to his chart? i love ur blog! 💗

this reading is more geared towards their habits in relationships and romance! i did end up talking a little about intimacy. i’m not putting any kind of nsfw warning because this is extremely pg and it’s honestly a gigantic stretch to even categorize it as that. but if that’s something you’re incredibly averse to i wanted to be sure to say it here so you can skip this reading if that’s the case~ also, i ended up using “you” generally because writing “s/o” was getting tiring. 

so his chart really strongly indicates that he’s very independent and thrives when he’s allowed to be a free spirit. 

but there’s also a part of him that is deeply committed through that cap venus.

super reliable boyfriend, and that’s also in due part to his scorpio moon. 

he would drop absolutely everything if you needed him.

he is super super protective and will absolutely throw hands if someone were to say anything negative about you. 

even with a moon trine mars that makes him slow to anger, his principals are so strong through his aqua placements, scorpio moon, and cap venus that he would absolutely not stand for it. 

this would be one of the few times he could justify resorting to anger, and while he may not attempt to hunt the offender down, you will definitely notice a dramatic change in demeanor as he rarely ever lets this side show.

and then when you take that sense of being protective and pair it with his cap influence, he really likes taking care of you. 

he’s very competent in that regard, and he shows this in practical ways like getting you lunch, giving advice, maybe offering to help with work. things like that. 

this also makes him very receptive for when you return the favor! like when woozi prepared a meal for him that one time when they were overseas, you could see how touched he was by the gesture and the thoughtfulness behind it.  

he’s also very emotionally intuitive thanks to that scorpio moon and pisces mars. 

he’s super observant and would get really really good at reading you over time.

may not express his support in so many words thanks to his moon square mercury making him pretty awkward with it -- this placement makes it hard for his aqua moon to convey how feeling/intuitive he is -- but he will certainly let you know he is there if you need him.

i also find scorpio placements don’t really put their feelings in so many words.

even with an emphasis on intellect with an aqua sun and mercury, he’s bound to not be the quickest to shower you in verbal love/appreciation and is more willing to let his actions speak for himself. 

if he’s going to say anything, it’s going to be sincere and straight to the point. 

and what’s interesting is that he’s got this scorpio moon, so i can imagine him actually being a pretty possessive boyfriend regardless of how chill he is normally.

BUT I DO WANNA MAKE IT CLEAR that that doesn’t necessarily mean he’d be a restrictive boyfriend either. 

especially with those cap/scorpio/aqua influences that would really respect someone who was their own person and didn’t apologize for that. tbh i think the last thing he’d wanna do is restrict that. 

i think well developed scorpio placements honestly just like having proof that you are committed and most certainly their s/o.

would probably say things like “that’s my ____” just to assert this fact very casually, affectionately, even playfully.

really honestly just likes knowing and being reminded that you’re his, may it be through gestures or physical proof (you wearing his clothes, promise rings, you going out of your way to do something for him, hickeys.)

his moon sextile venus makes him very romantic and affectionate. 

he feels a lot of love and is very emotionally invested in his partner in this very protective scorpio manner, and thanks to its relationship to venus he goes about expressing this love in very practical yet classy ways.

he has a tendency to randomly do the most thoughtful romantic gestures. 

he does have this free spirit that’s pretty easily distracted so it may not be the most obvious or well planned gestures. 

but it’d be things like. if he’s out and sees something that reminds him of you he’ll bring it home, may it be flowers or your favorite food. 

it’s interesting because, as out-there as he is himself, he really craves a sense of predictability in relationships.

this cap brings a sense of tradition and loves the idea of stable, long-term relationships. 

he’d bring a strong sense of reliability and practicality to relationships. 

he’s very dedicated but simultaneously very levelheaded and realistic with you. 

scorpio moon can give him a bit of a jealous streak. 

but i’ll say it again: that may not be as bad as it sounds if his emotional control is good. which IT IS thanks to his moon trine mars.

his moon trine mars means these feelings never result to actual anger or action. he’ll let you know his comfort levels, but it’s highly unlikely he’d act out negatively due to feelings of jealousy.

he may just get a little extra handsy, affectionate, or may ask for reassurance! 

tho i do think it’s interesting to note he may not normally be the most physically affectionate guy. 

he has such airy placements that he isn’t going to subconsciously reach out without noticing if that makes sense. 

if he’s reaching out himself, it’s probably very intentional and more than likely with the intention to show support or as little random “i love yous” throughout the day. 

as i said before, he’s rather awkward with putting these things into words so body language may be a huge factor in communicating with him in relationships which makes him pretty purposeful with it as well. 

this kinda loops back in to how much of a lone wolf he is sometimes -- not that he doesn’t like affection, it’s just not in his instinctual wiring as he’s pretty solitary in that brain of his. 

his well aspected moon and pisces mars, however, makes it very easy for him to accept affection and makes him pretty physical expressive.

he may need space every now again, but will probably very easily let you know when that is (may it be verbally or through body language) and is open to however cuddly you wanna be the rest of the time.

his pisces mars makes him a very sensitive and emotional boyfriend, especially in relationship to intimacy.

i think it’s important to mention because he has this very airy, independent, almost detached attitude about him on the surface. 

you really do get the sense that he’s on another planet, or that he could potentially be OVERLY practical, logical, and not easily perturbed by emotion -- but that is absolutely not the case behind closed doors. 

lol okay maybe he’s still on another planet, but he isn’t removed/indifferent. rather he’s very attentive and sincere. 

this is where he kind of loses his sense of practicality and can be pretty all-giving and obsessive. 

pisces influence on the part of mars means he takes physical relationships very seriously and sees it as a non-verbal expression of love and intention. 

he also has a very subtle, gentle, traditional way of approaching intimacy.

it’s genuinely an experience sharing that part of himself with someone, and it’d be in those moments that you would truly understand the full extent of his feelings. 

not only that, but he’s very emotionally sensitive in this regard.

allowing someone in to that degree can actually be a very daunting experience for him. 

not necessarily if it were a merely physical relationship without the romantic/intimate association, but knowing that there is is this devotion involved makes the concept of allowing someone to see and understand the depth of this side to him a really hard thing to wrap his head around.

this is heightened by that cap venus that doesn’t take to commitment lightly. 

with a pisces influence there is kind of a switch they have with regard to emotionally packed situations -- they’re either detached out of risk of those feelings becoming all-consuming, or extremely feeling and potentially open to this all-consuming aspect and to them that is an extremely vulnerable feeling especially with another person involved.

and so for him to go into those romantic situations and decide to be open and sensitive, that can be a really overwhelming thing especially with so many placements that value individuality and composure. 

ESPECIALLY with a scorpio moon which is already an incredibly intense placement to have, there’s a great deal of investment that’s kind of hard for him to face head-on and this is honestly because he can hardly fathom these depths himself. 

and then you throw in this super airy influence through his aqua and this intensity within him may fly completely under the radar until he’s forced to face it.

it IS important to note that his moon trine mars both kind of heighten the intensity of these situations, while also giving him better tools to process them. 

his scorpio moon also means that he’s really fascinated with these feelings even though they’re very daunting. 

it can be “scary” but he isn’t particularly deterred if he trusts you because of how all-in scorpio placements can be as they love the concept of delving past the point of no return. 

if he’s at that point where he’s so deeply committed, his scorpio is going to give him the confidence to take that step. 

but because this part of him is so emotionally sensitive and reactive, he may retreat every now and then. 

it is important not to interpret this as indifference/distance, often times he doesn’t know exactly who he wants to be some days and so you kinda gotta be okay with the unexpected. 

this is simply because he gets overwhelmed and needs space, otherwise it just feels like he’s staring into the sun non-stop. 

but if you learn how to read him, his energies, his body language/rhythm, you’ll understand how big and bleeding his heart is and how he expresses this, even when he’s not 100% there.

lololol all of this sounds SO DRAMATIC. 

it’s funny writing this because vernon has such an air forward chart. 

I wouldn’t be surprised if, for some WILD reason, he read this reading and thought this was a dramatic description as well. 

he really is his own person and i imagine this reading feels super left of field and honestly that’s because it IS. 

a lot of his chart is pretty hard to pin-down and generally more focused on developing the self than depending on external forces like relationships, and so it’d take a lot for him to get to this point.

you can tell even now it’s hard to imagine what he’d be like in a relationship he’s so singular, and i imagine even his members know there is a bit of a wall despite how much an open book he is.

i really think that it’d take the right person for him to place such a strong importance on emotion in order to make this reading super relevant to him. 

his aqua and cap are pretty hard to convince and are logical/intellectual enough that it’s often hard for those placements to surrender that mental control over to emotion/the intangible. 

and so I don’t imagine this is a part of his chart that he would fully be aware of until he’s in an incredibly committed relationship and these placements are tested by being forced to accommodate someone else so intimately. 

because otherwise he’s his own unit. these parts aren’t scary to him by himself, but they’re naturally very private so sharing these aspects is what switches things up. 

generally he’s a very thoughtful boyfriend! 

his weird habits are going to stay intact because of how independent he is and, if his chart is really well developed, he’d never let his individuality be compromised by a relationship. 

tho i will not lie, a scorpio moon and pisces mars may put him at risk of losing himself a bit as that scorpio moon has a tendency towards obsession, while that pisces mars can really easily get absorbed and lost in the case of love. 

but with that being said, i think his aqua and cap are so established in his chart through his work and personal values that i don’t think he is in any actual danger.   

so back to my main point. 

he has such a strong understanding of himself and his life/goals through that aqua/cap, but there is so much in his chart that is really eager to bring someone into that. 

he’s def the type of guy that makes it hard to fathom how committed he could possibly be on the surface, but once the relationship deepens, it gets clearer and clearer how romantic and devoted he is. 

and also how simple and straight forward he actually is about these things, which in a way adds to the romance and earnestness. 

[fairycosmos]

im sry for messaging u like this sory but i just. Dont know who to talk to. i hate my father so much and the shit he does wears me down..he‘s told me i should „keep all my imbecile opinions“ to myself, whenever i show any emption he tells me to get over it n just rn he got angry at me for something i didnt do. Like he made up a story and told me off for it. i hate it here but i also hate the thought of moving out n leaving my mum alone with him. Fuck everything he‘s never apologized once

it’s ok ! don’t apologize, it’s completely fine. but god why is your dad out of his mind and why are you being expected to just put up with it like?? 😠😠😠 this is the textbook definition of emotional manipulation and gas lighting and im so so sorry you have to deal with it. i can not imagine how hard it must be to live under the same roof as someone so far removed from reality. and i dont mean to condescend when i say im proud of you for making it this far and for being able to open up about it to me. it’s not easy at all and yet you’re doing it anyway, and that counts for so much. honestly, his words/actions/anger are only a reflection of him and never, ever of you and i want you to try to live by that as much as you can. though you obviously have every right to be hurt/pissed off/sad - whatever instinctive reaction you’re feeling is yours to claim and it is completely justified. you do not need permission to cry, to get angry, to rant, to feel it all. though it’s painful, its presence is to be expected. the only thing that is your responsibility is doing what you can to deal with those emotions in a healthy way. sometimes that’ll look like sobbing in bed, sometimes it’ll look like talking to a friend/someone you trust, sometimes it’ll look like practicing positive self affirmations, sometimes it’s just getting through the day. and it may not work every time. the point is simply to try. and i really hope that at the same time as that, you can begin to understand on a fundamental level that you do not need to ‘get over’ anything. that your opinions are important and deserve to be heard. that when he makes shit up and gets mad about it, that is an example of nothing more than his ineptitude as a father. there is no guilt on your shoulders, you have done nothing wrong. while i understand internalizing self hatred due to abuse and trauma, and that it can often take a life time to work through, i think it’s important to be able to recognize periodically that you are worth so much more than you’re being made to feel like. even if it feels like you’re lying to yourself, say it anyway and keep saying it because it’s beyond true. you deserve so much better - he’s a cunt and that’s on him. you will always be a better person than him. 

i can totally understand why you’re scared to leave your mum, and i wont try to sway your opinion too much either way because obviously the choice is yours. but please always keep in mind that you are ALWAYS going to be deserving of a happy, healthy and safe environment. there is never going to be any shame in seeking one out. your mum needs to make the decision to leave on her own and you do not have to stay in harms way waiting for her to do so if the opportunity to leave presents itself. this is your life, after all. but i know it’s a more nuanced matter than that, and i totally get why you feel stuck. so until then, i’m wondering if there’s any way you can seek outside support to help you cope? i know this feels like a daunting idea or something you cant actually bring yourself to do, but i promise it is always an option and it is not going to be as bad as your brain is leading you to believe. it can look like calling an abuse hotline, asking your doctor to refer you to a mental health professional who can work with you on coping mechanisms/cbt, attending a support group (there may be online ones as well cause you know quarantine), and also researching self help tactics you can utilize throughout your day. journaling, meditation, finding a safe space, opening up, comfort hobbies/distractions. they’re not solutions or cures, they just help you pause and breathe. that can change a lot. there are so many people who understand what it’s like to be in your shoes and you don’t have to face this all on your own, i promise. like i said, i know it’s a lot so please take it as a simple suggestion and something you could possibly think about working up to. it’s okay to talk about what’s going on, you know? it sounds like he’s put you through so much, and i believe with all my heart that you deserve to begin to heal. which can happen at the same time as hurting, by the way. every day you’re making progress that you don’t even realize is happening. and some day, much sooner than you think, you’re going to live a full, bright and autonomous life of your own completely divorced of your shitty dad and his toxicity.  you’ll get to choose whether or not you ever even see him again. he’ll be nothing in the grand scheme of all the ppl who are going to show you what it’s like to be loved. anyway, i didn’t want to make this too long but my heart is with you angel. i really hope you can move beyond this one step at a time. not every day has to be a good one but there is always a way forward. and each moment you get through, you get closer to the this man having no bearing on your existence whatsoever. im sending you so much love, please take care of yourself alright. if you need to vent or just to talk to someone, i’ll be here. you’re not alone, and i’m rooting for you 💖

https://www.1800respect.org.au/

https://www.verywellmind.com/identify-and-cope-with-emotional-abuse-4156673

https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/healthy-body/getting-help-for-domestic-violence/

https://theinvisiblescar.wordpress.com/suggestions-for-adult-survivors/

[edelgoth]

hi!! its been a while since ive sent an ask, but this is for the house matchup. in general, im like an npc character (i never really start conversations). but once you get to know and get close to me, i’ll be really wack and say random stuff to be funny. very shy to other people and i have pretty good intuitions. like if someones great or not. im able to read the air pretty well. hobby wise, i love to draw and play video games (but aint no videogames in fe, is there?). i like being near (1/?)

(2/2) charming and endearing people, especially people that can protect me and arent mean and strict. loyal ppl and those who are open minded are who i’ll really get along with. idk what else to really say, but if its okay, can i also have a romantic matchup with the person in the house you put me in? thank you!!

eee my first house matchup. i hope you like it!! 

so, i would put you in… 

the golden deer!!

you have this fun sense of chaos to you that would slot in almost perfectly with the golden deer!! also, charming and endearing?? depending on who you ask, that’s the golden deer for you (as claude would have you believe). i also think they’re the most lax of the houses, fulfilling the “aren’t mean and strict” criteria. overall, i think you’d have a good rapport with most of the golden deer, and you have a bit of a chaotic sense of humour that fits in quite well with them!! 

claude: since you’re shy, claude would be quite preoccupied trying to figure out your “secrets” in the beginning. finding out that you were actually quite funny would be both a delight and a disappointment (just because, you know, this is claude and he wants to solve Every Mystery). past that, i think you’d get along wonderfully!! you share a good intuition, and you both value open-mindedness. i think he’d find your sense of humour engaging, and the fact that you don’t really start conversations would be fine; claude’s a Talker, and he’s got so much on his mind all the time. as long a you were willing to listen to him ramble, you’re all good. 

if you’re into boys, i would make claude your romantic match!! it’d just sort of,,, happen, before either of you were really aware of it. but, claude sounds almost exactly like the sort of person you enjoy being around, and you have a very good rapport that’d lead quite nicely into a romantic relationship. 

hilda: i think hilda would find you adorable!! like claude, she’s a big Talker (she literally says something to the effect of “i love hearing myself talk!!”), so you being shy isn’t a problem. past that, i think hilda would be quite amused by you and what you say, simply because it keeps things interesting. hilda’s probably the most charming member of the golden deer, and she’s very good at being endearing. unless your intuition says that her unrivaled ability to get other people to do her work for her is a bad thing, then i think you and hilda would get along great!! 

if you’re into girls, i would make hilda you’re romantic match!! as with claude, i think your relationship would quite naturally become romantic. hilda can be very fond (i mainly think of marianne as i say this), and like i said earlier, she finds you adorable. i also think your intuitive abilities would pair well with how she can read people. maybe you’d be someone who could actually keep her on her toes, to see through her tricks?? but you know that secretly, she’d find that fun.

lorenz: you and lorenz might get off on the wrong foot; i say this because lorenz has some strict ideas about the world, whereas you prefer people who are a bit more open-minded. he also seems the most likely to,,, police your behaviour, being stricter than the average golden deer. i feel like he may also,,, struggle to comprehend your sense of humour. he can be very proper, and that contrasts with the sheer chaos of golden deer. he’s also not the best with shy people (his early marianne supports are a mess), but he is capable of growth. and a more mature, tuned-in lorenz would definitely admire your intuition and how you value loyalty!! it’s a friendship that would take a bit of work, but you’d get there. 

marianne: i think you and marianne would be very close!! you’re both quite shy, and marianne would be grateful to have someone who understood that was like. it might take you a while to get to know each other (you both,,, Never start conversations), but once you were used to each other, i think she’d find it easier to approach you. i think your personality is a nice contrast to hers, as well; you might even get her to smile every now and then with your humour. i think your intuition might come in handy here, too; marianne struggles with sharing how she’s feeling and what she’s thinking, so having a friend who’s able to read the air well could do wonders for her. the more i think about it the more i love this friendship, please take care of my daughter. 

lysithea: i think there might be a bit of conflict between you and lysithea at first, mainly due to how vastly different your personalities are. lysithea is a very straight-shooting sort of person, and she just wouldn’t know what to do whenever you said something random or out of the blue. a lot of supports also feature her just,,, ripping into people because she, like lorenz, has some strict ideas on how people should and shouldn’t behave. but, do get the feeling that as you two grew together, lysithea would start to soften up a bit, and you’d be able to have quite a nice friendship!! once again, your intuition would come in handy; you’d be able to read lysithea much better than some other members of the house, and you might be able to engage with her in a way that she actually enjoys. 

ignatz: i think you and ignatz would have a great rapport!! he’s not the sort to strike up conversations either, but propinquity is a powerful thing. you have similar interests, which ignatz would love to talk about with you, and i think he’d find you very comfortable to be around. he respects your shy nature, and wouldn’t push you to do anything that made you uncomfortable. he may not gel with your sense of humour that well, but he’d be charmed by it. i get the feeling that he’d have a little bit of a crush on you?? but he’s not really a go-getter in that regard (esp. if he saw you and hilda or claude getting along so well). but no matter what, he’s very fond of you. 

raphael: big brother raph!! he would immediately adopt you and take you under his wing, tbh. raphael is sort of everyone’s adopted brother, but since you’re shy but wacky would really just tug on his heartstrings. he’s the perfect example of someone who can protect you without being mean and strict, because he’s just got such a big, loving heart and he wants you to be okay and well looked after. i think everyone would be surprised you were so close at first, since he’s so loud, but he’d find you really funny!! people are just used to hearing raphael’s raucous laughter from the other side of the monastery bc you’ve said something so left-field. 

leonie: i think you and leonie would get along quite well!! i think she’d be intrigued by how your brain works, because it’s quite different to hers. leonie is a pretty open-minded person (her supports with claude really emphasise this), and she’s exceedingly loyal. i also feel like she would be protective without being mean or strict about it. i don’t see you and leonie being super close or anything, but i think you’d find each other comfortable to be around?? 

other notable connections

caspar: i just think you and caspar would have so much fun together?? he’s a little chaos goblin himself, and i think your sense of humour would line up well with his. i think caspar is surprisingly open-minded, and i get the feeling you two would just be,,, constantly embroiled in some kind of mess. you may be shy, but caspar is not, so similarly with some of the golden deer, you’d just end up friends by his sheer force of extroversion alone. also in a modern au caspar is the sort of gamer who rage quits flkjfgdl at the end of the day, i think you two would end up being great friends!! 

flayn: i think you and flayn would be the best of friends!! like claude, she’s a talker, so she’s the one who’ll fill the space. i think she’s another person who’d love your sense of humour, and she’d probably join in?? meaning you have a ton of inside jokes that nobody else quite gets. flayn is also incredibly open-minded, which you enjoy in people, and i’m sure she has so many things to talk to you about (or adventures for the two of you to go on!!)

mercedes: i don’t quite know why i’ve chosen mercedes, but the vibe is just right?? you both have good intuition, and i think mercedes would enjoy talking with someone about that sort of thing. she’s also very charming and endearing (by my count, anyway), which is something else to stoke a friendship between you. mercedes is also quite easy-going and open-minded, so it’d be very easy for you to maintain a relationship with her!! again, i can’t quite justify this as well as the other two, but i just feel like you’d be close. 

[kikaikiga]

I don’t believe in NY resolutions ... but.

Christmas has been and gone, as has the whole New Years wave of ‘I’m losing weight’, ‘I’m going to the gym’ and ‘I’m never eating meat again’ et cetera, et cetera.

I’ve long given up on making statements like these mainly because ... well, I can’t keep to them. I cave in too easily to temptation and to be honest, never have the proper motivation to do what I aim to do. Don’t get me wrong, I can appreciate the whole idea as, after all, it’s basically forcing the mind set of ‘Anything is possible if you only believe’ and ‘No dream is unreachable, follow your dreams no matter how big they may be’.

I guess I’ve just got used to settling into ‘the norm’ of daily life and not wanting to leave the comfort of ‘just getting by’. Yes I’ve had dreams to do all sorts of different things and become so much more than I am, some of which I even started to do but, true to form, I give up or lose sight far too easily.

Alot of this is due to the utter lack of self confidence I have. Mix this with some anxiety and Bi-Polar and well, I’m amazed I get anything done at all to be honest.

Anyway, I did actually have a point to writing this bunch of waffle so I guess I should get too it. To help you get where this is coming from, let me sum up the past week or so;

I’ve spent most of this past week busting my bones at work, as per usual, which I actually don’t really mind because, despite all the moaning, I do genuinly love my job. It does however burn me out from time to time as I hit points where, despite putting in all the hours and doing the best I feel I can, I feel like I’m stuck in a rut. A rut of going nowhere and just being a figure used by company CEO’s that sit behind desks, neatly writing out how my job should be done. CEO’s that dont spend a second on the damn job floor and think that, because it fits on their lines and tables on paper, it will work perfectly when put into action. Obviously, because that’s how business works ... not. 

Anyway, I had one of those moments this week and it ended with me questioning if I’m actually where I want to be in regards to work. The answer? Suprisingly, yes. I know progress takes time and I don’t have anywhere near as much patience as I should. Then came the otherside of it. I may be content with work but the more I’ve thought about it, the more I’ve realised that It’s how I am outside of work that has been bothering me.

What do I mean by this? Well, despite all that’s been happening the past year, I’m content with the decisions I’ve made in regards to my social life. Some decisions have been heartbreaking and so hard to make but, despite this, I feel I’ve taken the best course I could have for my own mental health.

I realise I seem to have contradicted myself here but just bear with me. So, yes socially I’m okay with where I’m at, however there’s more than just a social life when your not at work. Hobby, activity and interest wise, I’ve sunk.

Now let me explain and get to the point of this whole essay. I’ve been streaming properly since 2015 yet, my love and passion for games started long before, to when I was just a kid. Yes I know, this is the story with most gamers but isn’t that one of the things that bonds us all? Even so, my point is that, for something I’ve loved all my life, I’ve lost the spark.

Dont get me the wrong way on this, I still love playing but I feel like there’s something I’m missing and I can’t figure out what ... or at least I couldn’t until today. I started streaming because I was playing games and had so many moments where, without actually seeing it to experience it, regailing tales of my play just didn’t share the spark I got properly to other people. Those funny moments where you couldn’t do it again if you tried? Not funny if the person your sharing it with wasn’t witness to it at the time. This kind of feeling applies to reviews aswell.

I started review writing because, despite all of the opinions already out there, I wanted to share my two-pennies worth in way that was fair and different. It helps me get out everything I want to say, in my own way, without the feeling i’m being judged for my opinion. And yet, this too I’ve lost the spark for. The feeling I used to get from writing I just don’t get anymore. But I think ... I think I may have figured out the reason why.

After alot of pondering and musing on life decisions, I’ve realised that alot of what I’ve tried to do recently has been forced. I’ve been slowly pulled into the mindset of doing things because it’s expected by others, rather than for my own want and satisfaction. I’ve been thinking long and hard about who I want to be and where I want to take my life and I think ... I think I’ve finally got myself facing the right direction again.

I know It’s not going to be easy and Im well aware that I need to properly want it for this to work ... but I’m at least willing to try and that to me is a good first step. To save me writing another half an essay, I’ll simply bullet my list and hopefully manage to at least sway towards some of these in the coming time:

x Regular review writing on all kinds of games

x More frequent streams, not neccessarily scheduled but more often

x More confidence in myself, as a person, a streamer, a writer and a friend

x Better organisation of stream/writing space. Keep my desk clear and light, but still decorated and game orientated

x More confident in streams ... talk more, joke more ... generally have a better time

x keep my flat tidy and sorted, tidy house tidy mind and all that

x drink more, eat more, stop depriving body of what it needs

I know to many this list may seem either stupid, or common sense or whatever but, these are things I really struggle with. Many people struggle with the simpler things in life and I am definitely one of them. I really do want to change that though. I want to be happy with who I am, what I’m doing and how I’m doing it. I know there arn’t many that will read this through but to all of you who support and follow me ... thankyou, you don’t know how much you help a girl out <3

[lovehaswonangelnumbers]

New Post has been published on https://lovehaswonangelnumbers.org/energy-report-7th-13th-octoberthere-is-no-stopping-now/

Energy Report 7th – 13th October~There is No Stopping Now 

Energy Report 7th – 13th October~There is No Stopping Now 

By A Gift From Gaia

Each passing week takes the collective unconscious into faster and faster loops as we speed through the remainder of this year, wherever you are on the spectrum, there is more work to be completed whether we are a part of the deconstruction or the reconstruction we are all working together as One, lets face it, when we played in our victim frequencies we needed someone to blame to see where we were not in our power, gratitude can always grow in the most unlikely of places, if you know how to grow gratitude that is.

This weeks energy is taking us deep into our subconscious drivers, much of the activity is being highlighted by the movements around Scorpio especially during the first part of the week, Scorpio is the incredibly deep sign, so deep it is layered into three sections, the Scorpion, the Eagle and the Phoenix, it’s the same as the understand, innerstand and overstand cycle, which means the Scorpio energy is highly expansive energy, if you choose to surf it, if you choose to align to the behaviour of light, in other words to choose the conscious way that leads us to the field of unconditional love.

And we get there by first learning what unconditional love feels like, we must raise our physical body vibration to match the frequency, we must match the energy of the portal in order to enter, the physical body cannot and will not hold high frequency light until its physically able to hold it without frazzling out, likewise the heart will not awaken until it is known that it is your priority and likewise ascension will not begin until you realise and release all self-sacrificing programs, how can we possibly ascend if we are not making our physical vessel, our mental state and our energy our priority, as One, continuously…….that is what we are all learning now, and even when we have learned it we have more to learn……there is, after all, always more!

We are well underway a gigantic surf that has been circulating our world since 2009, noticed and reported since 2012 but this experience was triggered by the solar minimum which began late 2008 and we were heavily recoded through 2009 and 2010, come 2012 it got hectic, those aware at that time began anchoring in the 5th frequency for the humans to climb through, they began making sense of the quantum field and through this the destabilisation of the karmic wheel began. We are now at the next solar minimum, another important historical marker for those who love to scribe our evolution. It is of no coincidence that the Great Conjunction of Saturn and Pluto is appearing slap bang in the middle of this deep soul work we are going through during these energies, the planets are proving to be the ONLY navigational tool that enables us to read, understand and transition through what is happening within, all is simply a reflection and those able to see get to receive a map to assist making the ability to release from the attachments and programming a whole lot easier.

Our forerunners have gone beyond the 5th frequency, there are more frequencies available here on earth now, but what this means is the bottom falls out of the lower octaves of the spectrums we hold, as we all keep clearing the heavy karmic energies they become incredibly unstable and as our sun begins to move into a the next solar cycle, this is going to appear very much so in the physical world with the 2020 conjunction setting the scene.

There is no stopping now, the light is expanding here on Earth within those moving through their awakening phases, and as this continues, so does The Quickening which I might add was once just a word I received and got excited about, now we are seeing it in the physical reality every single day and it has become the norm, we are evolving, that which is being disabled will move out of the way for that which is able to move and flow with the evolution.

In other words those who are prepared to grow will of course continue to expand and bloom, and all that is stagnant will continue to play out the karmic loops until burnout.

And this week gives us a really fast paced energy to watch just how fast this can manifest if we choose to surf with the energy, if we choose to pay a little more attention, to prioritise peace more, to be kind more, within, no people pleasing or trying to do good to get something good…..it doesn’t work like that.

As I mentioned much of this is happening in Scorpio so already we are aware that there are to be levels and the first level we look at is the surprise we are due, something is arising, whether it’s a truth, a confession, but there is activity brewing, Mercury and Uranus are in opposition, something from your reality is dive bombing in to begin the movement, its like the plates are about to start moving, and we are to realise something that’s going to be the theme of this week, whatever is being surfed now, is to either be expanded into or dissolved and when it appears we move straight into the observation space, we check in with the subconscious drivers and feel into how and why we manifested this, what does the data tell us, does the presentation have any need attached or is it a continuous expansive flow…..peaceful, always remember excitement and nervousness are one of the same, both separated states. Learning to read the field is essential and once you understand how symbolic the reality is you get the extra guidance you always thought you wanted.

Whats wonderful with the Uranus energy is it’s a truth, less patient kinda feel so it really does bring up the foot in mouth, hey when you realise truth is simply a movement, a behaviour then these glitches are always the most perfect to allow the hidden to act like a giant jack-in-the-box. Cosmic surfers will be witnessing tweaks and areas to add more value within, more light bulb moments and quick releases once Seen. As with everything there are octaves so whilst this is an opposition energy there could well be some incredible shifts that appear in the physical, this is after all a month of transitions, and whilst we move consciously we get to play in more abundant fields.

Next Sun Squares Saturn, there is only one way to flow with Saturn and that is BE THE GOAT, if you are serious about aligning with Source then understanding the frequencies of the matrix is essential, in order to get along with Saturn we must align with the laws, trust me, Im a goat and my ruler is Saturn, I get it!

Authority, Divine Order and The Way is going to be the headbanger for the unconscious aspects within, and if you would like to receive more information on how to align to these frequencies and end the forever headbanging show then please hit the email link at the top of the page and lets see if the SOUL-AR Alignment space is suitable for you.

The end of the week ends on the climax, the full moon in Aries, well I say it ends, truth is nothing starts and nothing ends and the full moon energy flows through for a couple of weeks but this has the flavour of transformational pluto with the added trine energy of Jupiter which is a super wave of pure reap what you sow energy. This is an incredible way for those taking that leap of faith for the first time to see what its like to stay standing on that surfboard and staying on it, to realise how amazing it is when choosing the conscious way, the opportunity to reach new levels of freedom, space, love but most important peace, a field of pure and stable peace is the space we are focusing on, it is the required baseline frequency for our ascension.

The out there is likely to be rather reactive and gloopy, and when felt we work this within Self, assisting our grid all from the inside, understanding the stories, the noise, all of it is secondary, its all a reaction, once this is understood and the focus goes within we discover there was never a need to exert any energy whatsoever, all we need do is choose, conscious or unconscious and this Full moon will assist with the integration and completion of that which is rising in the reality now.

Sending so much love angels, INjoy the surf and I shall see you on the “lighter” side.

If you would like assistance and to be a part of a super supportive band of expanded people then email at agiftfromgaia1@gmail.com where you will receive the keys and gems I share to assist the awakening process, also all daily navigation reports and how to surf are currently there until the website is up and running – not long now!

*****

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[knightofbalance-13]

It’s Only Homophobic If I Don’t Like It/All LGBT People Must Think Like ME!

https://rwbycrit.tumblr.com/post/163790412947/speaking-over-lgbt-people-totally-okay-sarcasm

AKA Double Standard the post.

oh boy is there a lot to dissect in this one. first, hey dude, are you lgbt in any way, shape, or form? at all? if not, shut the fuck up

1. Actually, yes I am. I occupy a weird space between heterosexual and demisexual to my neurological condition. So you’re first point is immediately invalidated. And in fact, due to your accusations, your entire post either falls because of this...or you yourself are homophobic.

2. Yeah....and yet when Dudeblade does this later, you don’t call it out at all. You let it go even though, by your logic, he’s doing the exact same thing as me. But since it’s what you want, it’s not homophobic. so screw any LGBT people who didn’t agree with you huh?

there is…. a lot of casual homophobia here. 1. “you people” 2. “bitching about every straight couple” 3. “screeching homophobia” like. slow down, dude. the post has only just begun and you’re being homophobic.

Yeah...except that I call out Dudeblade in the exact same manner as this person, group him in with the “you people” and talk about him with the others and in fact most of my ange ron him...and he’s straight. Now what do they actually have in common? Being RWDE posters. So either you’re an idiot or you are willfully misrepresenting what I say.

there you go with that "you people” bs again. 1. calling the lgbt community “toxic” is literal homophobic rhetoric. 2. you say blame rt like it’s not their fault…. are they not to blame for making the conscious decision to not include even one (1) lgbt character in 5 years/4 volumes lmao?

1. Look at the point above: You just look homophobic for thinking that the LGBT community is a hivemind.

2. Did they ever SAY when the character was coming? No? Then they don’t have a deadline to meet ergo they can take their sweet ass time doing it, as creators are entitled to do.

1. it’s been five (5) years, my dude. we’re way past “not immediately. 2. lgbt characters are not something lgbt viewers should have to sit and wait for, or ”“deserve”“ (in I believe Monty’s words”). they are not prizes.

And you are not LGBT viewers: You are RWDE viewers which is not wholely made of LGBT people. Funny how most of your arguments fall apart by looking at the context huh?

this is so homophobic lmao i can’t believe im reading it with my own two fucking eyes. 1. “everyone blames the lgbt community” everyone does that anyway 2. “you are that insecure about yourselves that everything must mirror you” you’re the one witting a fucking essay about how shows don’t need to have an lgbt character and can be filled to the brim with cishets, my dude. it looks like one of us is the insecure one, and it’s not the lesbian lmao 3. also nice blaming the lgbt community for homophobia. like, thanks homophobe, never heard that one before

1. Actually, a few of your members (read: RWDE) have said that being straight is dragging the show down so that’s a lie.

2. Well, I'm not the one taking your words out of context and making everything fall apart simply by existsing and context. If you were so secure about yourself, you wouldn’t NEED an LGBT character in your show. I usually don’t give a shit about a person or character’s sexuality unless it has massively creepy undertones (like Puri Puri Prisoner from One Punch Man. Seriously, fuck that guy, going around attacking and molesting people just because he’s stronger. Hero my fucking ass.)

3. Once again, you are displaying the thought process of “Every LGBT person MUST think like em or else they are not LGBT.” AKA LGBT people are not like normal people and are a hivemind. Which, like I have said in this very post, is homophobic.

1. MILES also made this promise, you dumb fuck 2. they do have the obligation to include an lgbt character lmao 3. no they don’t. 4. calling lgbt people abusers lmao. love that Homophobia™ 5. what actions and how are they irredeemable………….. ?????? calling rt out on not including an lgbt character in 5 years despite promising us and then making me sit thru the ‘Life and Times of Jaune Arc, Sad Heterosexual Boy’? get fucked

1. Proof. 2. Not anymore: You people (read; RWDE) have pretty much shown that if you are given anything, you will tear everything to shreds so if they never do it: You have only your selves to blame. 3. Ah so they are not allowed to do anything you don’t want them to do. Sounds familiar... (https://helpguide.org/articles/abuse/domestic-violence-and-abuse.htm) 4. Nope, calling RWDE absuers: Glad to see you cannot comprehend that LGBT people are, shock, people with different ideas because sexuality is mostly a non factor in how a person is. 5. Give me a minute: https://knightofbalance-13.tumblr.com/post/163768158700/hey-remember-what-a-mirror-is (A gleeful assortment of what just one person has done.) https://bluepulserjaime.tumblr.com/post/163547055676/so-just-because-jaune-was-in-a-dress-and-camp (trying ti remove freedom of speech. Also he said that the CRWBY are only being praised because they are white. http://dudeblade.tumblr.com/post/163589308451/just-because-jaune-was-in-a-dress-and-camp-camp#notes Oh hey, you’re in there too!) https://sokumotanaka.tumblr.com/post/163181907124/okay-so (Supporting a guy who outright insulted Monty) https://rwby-analysis.tumblr.com/post/162751186437/ejladybug-its-pretty-low-to-accuse-someone-of (ATTACKING an LGBT person because, get this, they didn’t insult Miles and Kerry) That enough because I can go into the harassment, the bigotry, the double standard, the attacks against other LGBT people, the devaluing of human life and so on.

how are you even comparing critiquing a show and it’s writing to actual, real life ABUSE, you disgusting human being?

also, who the fuck is the victim in this? rt??????

Ah yes, critique...that consists of lying, msirepresneting and cheating...and attacking the writers while trying to get them fired so a woman can take over...constantly insulting them while saying you are their fans...then trying to humiliate them by making a spectacle and then blaming them...while treating them as a factory for LGBT characters or as robots that should only do as they say instead of people...Making the CRWBY hesitant to answer any and all questions that might set you off...as you control what they do, when they do it...Like an abuser (https://helpguide.org/articles/abuse/domestic-violence-and-abuse.htm)

So yes, yes they are.       

1. jaune asking weiss to the dance 2. weiss giving neptune Sad Heterosexual Looks bc she had a crush on him 3. pyrrha being a Sad Heterosexual bc she has an ~unrequited love~ for jaune 4. pyrrha literally kissing jaune 5. ren and nora’s background and Meaningful Heterosexual Looks, all but confirming renora 6. not to mention all the more one liners about how many characters are SO attracted to the 'opposite gender’ (ie qrow with the waitress)

1. ah yes, because t’s bad if a heterosexual is having love woes. Doesn’t TAHT sound bigoted?

2. Ship sank and was sued for character development. 3. Ship also sank and was used for character development. 4. Ship sank. 5. Because Asexuals, demisexuals and bisexuals don’t exist apparently (and both Ren and Nora have aspects of the first two.) 6. Look at 5

yes, 'tis was I, the Homosexual, that was the homophobe all along! anyway, calling out homophobic/transphobic jokes is not homophobic, I can’t believe i actually have to say that.

Yes...except those jokes are not what you call them. By this logic, every joke ever made is some kind of phobic and thus humor as a whole shouldn’t exist. And since people make jokes about straight and cisgender people, logically they are allowed to make the same jokes for LGBT people. That IS what equality means.

“the lgbt community doesn’t deserve anything” ohhhhhh my god

“Only people who think like me are LGBT” Really, whose the homophobe here?

1. it’s probably because bumbleby is? the most popular? lgbt ship? in? the fandom?????? 2. im not even gonna TOUCH on asexuality and the lgbt community lmao 3. also like Bumbleby can, in fact, be a ship made up of not only two lesbians, but two bisexual women, a bisexual woman and a lesbian, a pansexual woman and a lesbian, or a bisexual woman and a pansexual woman. 4. just say you hate wlw and go!

1. And what about the people who don’t like Bumbleby and are LGBT? Like this person (https://darkvioletcloud.tumblr.com/post/163803510478/rwde-and-rwby-critical-is-making-me-hate-bumblebee) 2. Because if you don’t consider them LGBT because they aren’t you. 3. And you can have two gay men, one bisexual man and one gay man, one bisexual man and one pansexual man, one pansexual woman and one bisexual man, two pansexual men or woman, one pansexual man and woman, one bisexual man and woman. Bumbleby is not your only option for LGBT representation. Or are you just using the guise of representation to force your ship? Seems that way to me. 4. I don’t: I’m a White Rose Shipper. You’re the one who hates anything not wlw from your attitude.

1. im not going to comment about the suicide baiting bc i honestly know nothing about it so 2. didn’t you, earlier, in this very post, say treating the lgbt community like it was a hive mind is homophobic? and yet.

1. Another example of irredeemable shit. 2. I know one would because one HAS done it. My friends in this fandom are all LGBT and they have called this out too. Hell, the guy I linked to is bi AND trans. No one likes being used for another’s agenda. Also, you have been acting LIKE the LGBT community is a hivemind.  3. Dudeblade is straight and talking over LGBT people: He’s doing what you accused me of. And yet not a word against him.  Double Standard much?

1. renora was suggested from the beginning 2. pyrrha and jaune literally kissed on the mouth in literally the most cliche, heterosexual way possible

1. And by your logic, so was WHite Rose and Bumbleby: Not a counter 2. Ah yes because hetersosexuality Is inherently bad like a cliché. Because homosexuality and it’s kin should just be marketing ploys to make something look good and original when it’s actually shit. That’s not homophobic at all.

1. i can’t believe one (1) man is doing all this! by just criticizing an internet show on a micro-blogging website. amazing. 2. this is now a joke post bc heterophobia ISNT REAL aldjajdjahskshh im literally close to tears rn fuck oh my god

1. More like a group of people encouraging a dangerous mindset and being toxic as shit by encouraging an abusive relationship between fans and creators. 2. Considering you used “cishet” which is a deragitory word used to devalue heterosexuals and cisgender people as if they are beneath you: You are a perfect example of heterophobia. Also: If heterophobia isn’t real then it’s counterpart isn’t real. That’s right. you just insinuated that HOMOPHOBIA isn’t real. Good job there. 3. What abouyt the homophobia argument? The sexism argument? The racism argument? Are those just accepted as truth? Well then: Glad to see you admit it.

not very logically indeed, kob

That’s a mirror you’re talking to dumbass.

[the-day-patient]

The Day Programme - Day 1

With all the days I decided to give up smoking why did I pick today?!

I was fine all morning, somewhat excited to start the day Programme, but then midway through to the hospital the anxiety hit & I needed that cigarette.

At the hospital I sat nervously waiting to be called in, i just wanted to get in & get it started!

Once in it was straight to business, before i could even take my jacket i had my glucose checked & i was weighed. Numbers I am not too happy about but I am deciding to block them out. I am at my heaviest I have been in a while.

After my weigh-in i was taken to the 'Day Room'. The day room is a space where all of the patients come together, eat their snacks and have some therapy sessions in. Some patients were already in there when i entered.

My first thought was 'my god I'm the biggest person in here', as a person with an eating disorder naturally would think. We are too quick to compear ourself to others - even more so the ones with eating disorders (something that i personally need to work on) Feeling like the largest person in the room i felt 'unworthy' of being there & embarrassed some of the patients might of thought the same.

Im not sure if I mentioned on my previous post but on the Day Programme you are expected to eat the following -

A morning snack

Lunch

A afternoon snack

Each meal/snack consist of the following -

Morning snack from the programme (there are 4 different snack plans & I am on snack plan A) Either a yoghurt/custard/rice pudding/breakfast bar/oat bar/chocolate bar/X amount of biscuits/Crisps WITH a hot drink that has to include milk

Lunch from the hospital canteen - This has to include all 4; 1. Sandwich or hot meal, each HAS to include protein AND carbs. (Vegetables and salad are optional). 2. A drink, full fat or a hot drink with milk (no diet/low calorie drinks allowed and no engery drinks). 3. Fruit or a pack of crisps (no low calorie crisps or popcorn). 4. A yoghurt or I've cream (again no low fat or low calorie version - full fat only).

Afternoon snack - as morning snack

You are expected to have breakfast at home before coming to the hospital, and you are expected to have your dinner and pm snack also at home.

I was next shown the kitchen by one of the facilitators. I was asked to pick my 'morning snack'. 

I was showed the snack cupboard & that's when it hit me, what i was expected to do.

'I can't eat any of these, it's not normal to eat these sort of foods in the morning' I cried.

(feeling embarrassed that 5 minutes in i had already cried & to a facilitator that is most probably younger than me).

She then offered me a yoghurt, I looked in the fringe & saw a bio blueberry yoghurt ('thank god it wasn't a muller corner! This is safe for me to eat' i thought) , I felt relieved.

I was told i also needed to have a hot drink with my snack, ('no probs, black tea here I come'), but I was quickly told that I needed to have milk with it. I haven't drank milk with my tea for years & its something i've been struggling to do. But I didn't want to seem difficult, even more so after my cry, so I just dealt with it.

I saw sweetener sitting next to the regular sugar & thought 'well if it's there I must be allowed it' & popped it in my tea. But then I thought 'oh god am I going to get in trouble for that? Should I of had a normal sugar?' I checked with her & she was she 'wasn't sure', which confused & stressed me a lot to wether i was doing the 'right' thing or not.

I was given 15mins to have my snack & drink which was overwhelming as this would of normally taken me about 40mins/1hour.

Our morning activity was group mindfulness, set in the day room. It was relaxing but at the same time difficult to follow through for me as I have an attention span of a gold fish. But in the long run i can see & understand how mindfulness would be really helpful.

At noon we was off to lunch. It was simply difficult. It took me awhile to pick what I was going to eat & I ended pasting back & forth in the canteen, changing my mind at every moment, picking up food & then putting it back back. I ended up asking the facilitators a bunch of questions regarding the type & amount of food for guidance.

We was placed in groups while eating, which was supervised. I feel it went as smoothly for me as it could as I was placed with two lovely individuals I know (I don't think I would of done too well if I was placed with some of the others).

We was only given 1 hour in total from entering the canteen & choosing our meals to finishing eating our food... normally this would of taken me at least 2 hour to just eat the food. So by the end of it i was feeling extremely full & overloaded.

After lunch i was sent for bloods (Bloods are taken once a week).

I have deficiencies & other issues due to my history of eating disorders & I guess they want to keep their eye on it, which is fine with me.

Our afternoon therapy was music. I had a great time learning to play the ukulele, it was beyond random, but then again i've never done music therapy before! The most important part of it was that it took my mind off of my lunch & how full I was feeling, which was exactly what i needed.

The day ended with the afternoon snack (2 hour after lunch finished), I was still feeling really full from lunch & didn't think it was 'normal' to have a snack & make myself feel uncomfortably full, 'is this what people really do?' i thought. For my snack i had a small pot of custard, which was really nice because i love custard & its been so long since i have been able to eat it (i also see custard as a 'seasonal' food item (Christmas), so it was nice to have it 'out of season'). While i was making my hot drink i noticed the sweetener was removed from the kitchen, so i guess that answered the question of whether i was allowed sweetener or not.

Overall I felt really positive for my first day, it was manageable & I found the staff really helpful & kind.

What also helped was the lovely messages I had received from my partner & friends, all being very loving & supportive. That reinsurance from them really gave me the confidence & push I needed.

**If you are someone you know is suffering from an eating disorder and would like some help please visit your GP. Also visit BEAT’s website for help and advise (they are the UK's leading charity supporting those affected by eating disorders) https://www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk

[earthling-liya-blog]

little things we can do for the environment

a/n ok before anything GURL there are a lot of links tagged bc i didn’t rly expect this to be a long post and some will be further explained in a separate post ! maglilink naman aq pag nagawa na may edit button naman HAHAHAHA but ya this is a bit taglish but mostly english kase conyo tayo chz but yaaaaa

i would say disregard any grammatical errors or flaws but i like comments and criticisms. this isnt formal writing at all kase this was rushed kase naexcite ako,,,,, ayun ok i shld stop talking leTS GET DIS BREAD

nowadays, a lot of people have been inventing machines that help in saving the planet but the easiest and most simple thing that have a huge impact on our environment is following the 3R’s.

 REDUCE

here is a list of things on what you should reduce

1.      single-use plastic consumption

this is the most obvious material we should refrain from buying. i know it’s tempting but don’t buy that candy, or that water bottle. as they say:

 if you don’t buy crap from companies they’ll stop making crap.

 think about it, that candy you’ll buy comes with a plastic food packaging. that plastic’s purpose is to cover the candy from anything that can contaminate it, but once the candy is opened he plastic no longer has purpose and will be thrown away on the trash can. that piece of plastic was used once but will LAST FOR DECADES, and in those decades the plastic will go through a lot of.. things. y’know like…

other than plastic interrupting the food chain, we can literally kill all animals with the plastic bags choking them or filling up their stomachs with plastic. we’ve all seen the turtle with a straw stuck inside its nose.

truly heartbreaking. this video started a petition to ban straws, but please STRAWS ARE NOT THE ONLY PLASTIC PRODUCT HARMING MARINE LIFE.

 here are videos that prove so:

Plastic Ocean | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ju_2NuK5O-E

Plastic is killing marine wildlife | #OceanRescue | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zhksqkC6WV0

See How It Feels to Be an Ocean Animal Stuck in a Plastic Bag | National Geographic |  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yaDx-WJAsaE

 now you can say “I don’t litter so how am I harming these animals? I throw my trash properly.” but no, buying from companies that produce plastic makes YOU part of the problem. 

the plastic you throw away “properly” adds into the landfill. as i’ve mentioned before, plastic lasts for decades. if we don’t reduce our plastic consumption, we will soon have a mountain of plastics. less plastic u buy, less plastic is produced.

 next time you buy from the mall, don’t tempt yourself from buying beverages and/or foods that come with plastic food packaging. if possible, bring your own food containers and a reusable tote bag or don’t buy at all. quit saying “it’s just one time” a lot of people say that everyday and see what problem we’re facing now? overproduction and overconsumption of plastic asshole. say no to single-use plastic !

2.      printing

this one’s new to me and im sure most of you are as shocked as i am. i always thought it was only because we were wasting so much paper by printing documents and other things that don’t really mean anything (tama na pagprint ng pix ng kras niyo mga burnok), but we keep buying cartridges.

here’s a tip: use recycled paper and reuse toner cartridges. I got that here https://www.colorado.edu/ecenter/zero-waste/reduce/paper-and-printer-waste. it says here that it costs wayyy less money cause duh reusing and reducing??? lam mo na yan mag-isip ka chz

 3.      electronics/appliances anything that consumes electricity

this one. this is something that’s hard for many of us to reduce and i admit im one of those who have a hard time letting go of their phone and uses the light the whole night.

 PHONE: for iphone users like me (weird flex but ok), apple produces a new model every now and then and it makes a lot of apple users buy the newest model. don’t be like them no matter how much money u have that u want to flex (money cant help you survive when earth is dying sis) also, iphones don’t really last a looong time for many users since it’s kinda breakable and well it slows down after a while lmao

my tip is buy what you think will last for a long time (coming from me eh) for you and if you want, try buying secondhand phones. for phones you broke that you piled up in a box (yep i do that), you can replace some parts of it that broke it or give it to recycling centers. According to the University of Colorado Boulder, phones have metals that can still be “reused and salvaged such as aluminum, gold, silver, copper and iron.” NEVER THROW AWAY PHONES OR ANYTHING ALIKE ! “The circuit boards contain arsenic, lead, mercury, and other toxins. The batteries contain heavy metals that are lethal to the land. Many of the chemicals in cell phones have the potential to be released into the air when burned and can create air pollution.” (Second Wave Recycling, 2013) This means that the phone you’ll throw away will intoxicate the landfill. just think about insects flying around and possibly animals eating garbage 

4.      water

do i even have to explain myself? hm maybe.

shower with a partner shower together

jk but seriously, save water. take shorter showers and please refrain from using the heater. here’s an article to further elaborate https://slate.com/technology/2009/10/exactly-how-bad-should-i-feel-about-taking-hot-showers.html

5.      fast fashion

oh you have no idea how much shopping can affect the environment. i didn’t know before either. but not only is the environment affected but also who work for companies that sell fast fashion.

a.      people have been treating clothes as disposables. clothes that don’t fit the trend nowadays either get thrown away or just stay in the corner of a cabinet.

b.      theyre cheap. and by cheap, i mean CHEAP. most of fast fashion clothing don’t last long that they end up in the landfill. even if you donate/sell it, chances are they’ll be rejected due to poor quality.

c.      “. . most garments (especially fast fashion ones) are made with inexpensive, petroleum-based fibers that don’t easily decompose (such as polyester, nylon, and acrylic), they’re going to be taking up landfill space for decades to come.” (Wood, K.) As Cline points out;

“people generally recycle plastic bottles or avoid buying them in the first place, but people are pretty okay with buying lots of plastic clothing”

next time you think of buying from forever 21 or zara, think about it. they are simply made NOT to last. think about the exploited workers, the products you could’ve gotten for a cheaper price if they were made locally, and the effect on the environment. do you really want to support companies that only gives a fuck about their sales?

read more in these articles: 8 Reasons to Rethink Fast Fashion| https://www.lifehack.org/articles/money/8-reasons-rethink-fast-fashion.html

Fast Fashion Is the Second Dirtiest Industry in the World, Next to Big Oil | https://www.ecowatch.com/fast-fashion-is-the-second-dirtiest-industry-in-the-world-next-to-big--1882083445.html

6.      meat and dairy

as a meat-lover myself, this was the hardest thing to do. im basically a carnivore since i hate veggies but i do eat a lotta ass fruits so no need to judge sis. but yeah this is so important yet so hard.

if you can, only buy products that are vegan. it doesn’t necessarily have to be food if it’s too difficult for you to let go. you can also have a #meatlessmonday or not eat meat 1-2 days a week.

this post is long enough so here’s an article to help u: https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2018/may/31/avoiding-meat-and-dairy-is-single-biggest-way-to-reduce-your-impact-on-earth

7.      waste

all in all, reduce waste. avoid throwing away literally anything. aim for a zero waste lifestyle and i can give tips in my next post on how you can reduce waste.

 REUSE

this is soooo hard to do. trust me, i would know BUT it is doable by an average person so shut the f*ck up and use that ugly reusable water bottle your aunt gave you. i don’t care how rich you are and how you can afford a lot more, but what does it matter if they wont be used much and be thrown away when it gets old?

avoid throwing things away and think about how it can still be useful to you or someone else. not everything useless to you is useless to everyone. let someone else find purpose for it or repurpose it yourself.

donate, not discard. choose reusable, not disposable.

  RECYLE

1.      plastic

this is the most important thing we have to do now especially with plastic. now note that not all plastic can be recycled. it’s important to know what type of plastic can be recycled and what shouldn’t

 so as it states, 1&2 are recyclable which is what you would see on a water bottle. it means you should throw your plastic bottles in the recycling bin. here are things you should avoid and things you should recycle

BUT OK BEFORE YOU DO THROW THAT BOTTLE IN THE RECYCLING BIN JUST A QUICK NOTE

PLEASE REMOVE THE PLASTIC LABEL AND DO A QUICK RINSE ON THE BOTTLE! IT LITERALLY TAKES A FEW SECONDS OF YOUR TIME.

bottles that still have the label on are considered trash and are thrown away instead of being recycled. if u ask “why don’t they just take off the label? it takes a few seconds as u said” well dipshit they have more bottles to worry about so if i were you i wouldn’t be lazy piece of shit and take off the label.

bottles that contained sugar drinks should have a quick rinse & make sure there is no left over ! not rinsed = trash. do i have to go scientific and geeky as to why they should be rinsed? i think not lmao

for the plastic i find that can no longer be recycled (ex. shopping bags, food packaging, small pieces of plastic i see lying on the ground), i put them in an ecobrick which i will explain in my next post.

2.      paper

paper can also be recycled. collect all those newspapers, cardboard, cereal boxes, failed quiz papers, rejected thesis papers and notes from your ex-boyfriend. all of them. don’t throw them away, or worse burn them. papers can still be given another chance at life by being remade. all of the papers should not be mixed with any plastic or wax coating.

TRIVIA: Recycling one ton of old paper saves 17 trees; 2 barrels of oil (enough to run an average car for 1,260 miles); 4,100 kilowatts of energy (enough power for the average home for 6 months); 3.2 cubic yards of landfill space; 7,000 gallons of wate; and 60 pounds of air pollution. 

 3.      glass materials

products that are packed in glass glass jars and bottles like RC or your local nata de coco jar are recyclable as well although i’d prefer to reuse them.  

TRIVIA: Recycling one glass bottle saves enough electricity to light a 60-watt bulb for four hours. 

4. books

no. i don’t mean sell it to the junkshop but if u want to, go for it. although there are a lot of people who’d rather secondhand books than new ones so sell/donate your old books to those in need !

5. clothes

i’ve mentioned this before already but i’ll say it again. buy secondhand clothes. theyre not gross and you wont look like those typical katip pipol that all wear the same shoes and/or polo shirts charet. you’ll even help save the planet.

  *note: it is still better to reduce than recycle so still avoid buying plastic and lessen use of paper. but, you do gain money from selling paper and plastic so start collecting your friends’ and family’s junk.

by doing the 3R’s, you can save energy and natural resources and help prevent environmental issues coming from the landfill and pollution. not only are you helping save the environment but you’re also saving money by reducing your purchase, reusing what you already have and promoting recycling.

a/n ulet this is my first post and i’ll be sure to post more tips and help raise awareness. my writing may have flaws and i accept any criticisms to improve ! help me be better and to save the environment:)

 check out another article related to this one:

http://www.irondequoit.org/community/green-initatives/16-community/125-why-should-i-reduce-reuse-or-recycle

[phoenixofultimatechaos]

Peeves about fanfictions

If you don't like rants, ignore this post. And yes swear-words are included. I am focusing mostly on  Fairy tail FF, but any of this peeves applies to any other FF out there.

Also warning for spelling and grammar.

We all know fanfictions are more or less... “write it freely thing”,no rules or “you must do this and that”. I get it. But for fucks sake, it dosent mean you can blame everything on the write-as-you-want thing. Hell no. Professional or amateur writer docent matter, nobody will read your fanfiction or

Here are some of the biggest peeves about fanfictions:

1)  Despite this fanfic taking existing characters, the characters used could be someone else.

If you use an existing character, get their personality right. If the characters you use act different and talk different than the ones from the anime or movie you chosen to write your fanfiction about, you can as well change their names to something else. Even if we interpret things different,and why they act certain way does not mean a character can do a 180 degrees turn in their personality.

Sometimes the character from anime/movie acts as the real one would do, and then change into a...well.. a really bad OC.

2)   Author says the fanfiction is based in the already existing world of manga/movie, but none of the existing rules we already know exist in the story, the characters are way off (or only one or 2,while the others act as they normally would), the plot of their fanfictions is disconnected from the world and breaks most of that worlds rules.

No. The “Im just creative” - excuse does NOT excuse your ignorance to details,existing most important rules and simply not wanting to keep yourself within those said rules. If you want to bend rules, learn what they are first. When you know them, you will know:

* how to break them in right way

* what consequences and impact it will have on the story line and the characters

* what those consequences will lead to, and with options will be off-limits due to the rules being broken,and what new possible opportunities have opened up and why.

Remember. IF a rule that exists in the world your characters live in is broken, consequences is a MUST. If you re-invent a rule/rules in that world, you have re-made the world itself with is fine, but do NOT pretend that those characters are still in the same world they are in the anime. Be CLEAR about what is different and what isn't.

3) Pacing goes from 0 to 100 within one paragraph.

Chill.The hell. Out. there is so many details and information missing that NOTHING makes sense here. take time to explain how,when,why and where.

Take us slowly from beginning to the middle and to the end.

4) writers OC is the so called Mary Sue.

I don't believe in Mary Sues,only in bad writing.But holy shit, I know what people mean with Mary Sue. Fairy Tail fandom (and a lot of others too) are FULL of those. When your FT character can:

*open gate to Celestial world (or any other world) at any time without consequences, enter that said world without problem, and is a celestial dragon slayer,and then is an amaaaazing healer, and lets not forget that character sounds like a Lucy Heartfilia,Natsu Dragneel and Wendy mix, then you know you have created a character based on traits you admire in main characters, so you take those out,and put them into one character to show how a “good character looks like”. No offence,but if this character can do all this things, whats the point of having any other character in your fanfic? This one can already do everything, knows everything, uses magic left and right, have no issue travelling to other worlds and is well known powerhouse then sorry princess,your oc have serious issues.

*the OC is. EVERYWHERE. At all times. Sees every single crucial to plot thing, sees all problems that  arise, know why and how, and know automatically how to solve them.

*the OC knows other characters from the very beginning even if they haven't met them. If the other character is well -known (like Natsu aka salamander), then they can react surprised or shocked or happy or whatever you want when they hear his name as in “Oh so HE is from FT and he is the famous Salamander”. They should NOT know who is who after 5min with one of the other characters we already know.

The reader is probably a fan,so no need to go into super-deep detail about an existing character people have been followed in the series your ff is based on. the details about your own OC(s) you kick into their world is the interesting part. The new rules that you have added (maybe linked to previous events fans had seen? ) and why they exist is the interesting part, and how the characters deal with that. Does it affect them? Does it destroy their life? Does it interfere with their job or life, making it harder/easier?

New stuff need explanation, the stuff we seen can be named to and described to help us see what is happening where.

3) Flirty characters end up being written as stalkers, perverts, rapists, or someone who dosent respect the opposite genders “no”, intrudes into their personal space and is in  constant “I wanna do them”-mood.

Dude. I know. Interpretation thing again yea yea. There are still lines between “a little OOC” and “so OOC the character became someone else”. 

Yes I look at you who write about Loke damn it. Or Ezio. Or any other existing flirty character. Stop it. Take your time to get FAMILIAR with the character.

If you intend to overdo a character for comedy's sake,you will need to make everyone else behave off as well. If ALL other characters behave exactly as you would expect them to expect in anime/game/movie and only the character you make as the main one for your FF behaves WAY off, it makes your fanfic unbelievable not to mention a pain to read. And IF there is a reason why the flirty one acts off and not the rest of them, you need to have a reason for that.

4) writers dislike of certain character makes them change that character into a total dick who gains everything for free, and any relationship that hated character had is eliminated or changed so much it makes that character into someone else.

Poor Lisanna Strauss.

when she came back, people hated her. For no fucking reason. And most fanfics that involves her (In the Fairy Tail FF-world) go like this:

*Lisanna is a bitch

*Natsu-team is a bitch to Lucy

*Lucy cries and runs away, and either becomes evil, or ends up screwing around with someone 24/7 and now hates FT because Lisanna is back.

What.The actual FUCK.

Okay.If you want to write about Lisanna being mean, you need to start with an idea WHY. Basing it on “she was with Natsu first” does not hold for more than 1 second. They were not a pair when she poofed from FT. They were not MARRIED.

Biggest insult becomes the “Lucy you are weak go to hell”-attitude ENTIRE guild ends up having. You broke the biggest damn plot-related rule.

““NAKAMA SUPPORTS TOGETHER. NAKAMA IS FAMILY,AND NAKAMA HELP EACH OTHER OUT IN THE TIME OF NEED.“

Second thing you need is slower progression to WHY she is a dick. Why is she going against her nakama? Why are her old friends siding with her?

And no. No. Lucy being weak is your damn opinion. While you can write as if Lisanna thinks that, the OTHER characters change in one second flat. if they start thinking like Lisanna, you need. A freaking reason. WHY. And keep them in character as much as possible.

Can you really imagine Makarov say “yea they are right you suck” to one of FT members? If he decides to side with Lisanna, you need to keep his way of talking intact. Act as an actual old, wise and calm adult, not like some teenager who sides with his bully-buddys.

5) Characters that are not known for being power-houses in series become described as weak-ones. And everyone else thinks so too! No valid explanation, just pure hate from start to end.

Not being a official powerhouse in the movie/manga sucks. If they are not official they always end up being hated in FF. Once again, writers personal opinion takes over and creates this weird “let us kick down this character” instead of neutrally look at the weakness and strengths of that character.

6) “I found a girlfriend for The King so now I can live in human world forever and loose nothing” (Fairy Tail Fandom strikes again).

LucyxLoke shippers. Oh dear gosh,so many idiotic reasons they can find to make Loke stay in human world forever is... countless. few of those reasons are good.

yes Im sure he would abandon his comrades in Celestial World just because of that. Mhm. You are not convincing me with that. Or anyone else for that matter.

7) Blaming every plot hole, bad details, badly laid out information, bad character development, bad personalities mm on “I am amateur author”.

And this is why your writing never gets better.

-------

and with this,I end my peeve rant thingy for now XD this was just the biggest peeves about fanfiction in general. there are more. A LOT more.

[lawsoncrafts]

(Im only reposting since this image was found on a different site but I'm gonna rant here so that I won't get retaliation from certain relatives etc.) As the time grows near, I'm seeing a lot of people "gearing up" to support autistic people and I feel that this needs to be said, or at least I need to get this off my chest in a healthy way so I don't explode when I start seeing those damn puzzle pieces everywhere. personally speaking, I know how hard it is to be autistic (overstimulation, social weirdness, heightened senses that leads to MORE overstimulation, etc etc etc) but here's the thing, I've learned to live with it. I can function despite these things because I was born with it and I have a great support system AND I know how to cope in a healthy way. But a great number of us aren't as lucky. I was diagnosed when I was in 6th grade. that's 11 years of me nor anyone else knowing why I was struggling in a society that is almost exclusively built for neurotypical, able bodied people. During those 11 years, I was pushed along through the education system and labeled as a "lost cause" due to my inability to function to their satisfaction in a classroom filled with 30-35 LOUD/active students despite my test scores being the highest in my grade. When my test scores came out, I was accused of cheating time and time again and I had to retake my exams time and time again (I always scored higher the second time) because I was obviously "too stupid/lazy" to actually be a good student. During the entirety of those 11 years, I was bullied by my peers and even some of my teachers to the point that I wanted to kill myself. My family thought I was crazy, my peers thought I was crazy, my teachers thought I was a problem child that they didn't want to deal with. This is the reality that many autistic people face for their entire LIVES. I would have never been diagnosed if my mother hadn't screamed at everyone in my school district to test me for half a year. The system sweeps us under the rug CONSTANTLY. They call us ADD/ADHD or simply "troubled" and feed us magic pills that make us sick. Then when the lucky few of us that actually get diagnosed we are labeled as "defective" or, as autism speaks believes, "diseased" people that need to be cured. Their reasoning being that people weren't commonly diagnosed with autism back in the "good ol days" therefore we are apparently facing an epidemic. We are put in special classes under good intentions but they can't protect us from the bullying we face in the hallways when we are seen going to and from the classrooms. We undergo intense behavior modification, not for our own sakes per say but so that we can fit in with "normal society" without major issues (do we don't annoy neurotypical people). We have to stick to ourselves at lunch because if we sit anywhere near "normal people" that table is now the table where the kids from the "retard class" sit and it becomes a cruel game. And I'm not saying that everyone is cruel like this, it's actually quite contrary, most people above a certain age actually coddle us, like we are broken, like life has dealt us a bad hand. We are given "easier" coursework in our classes because we "can't keep up." we are pointed to in public spaces by mothers who want to show their children that they need to be especially considerate of the "special needs" class of society. People run marathons "for our benefit" but they don't actually know or care where the money is going. yet they look to the nearest visually identifiable autistic person and say "you're welcome" with their eyes. People even record themselves as they do very basic things like asking us to a dance and expect a trophy because they are so kind. because we are so otherwise undatable. And if any of us or our loved ones say anything about how absolutely condescending their "charitable efforts" are, they/we are shamed for "biting the hand that feeds us." Those of us who are more easily identified at first glance are called "severe" while those who aren't are called "high functioning. If you are "severe" you are undesirable and will have a hell of a time getting a job or even having a conversation with someone who takes you seriously. If you are "high functioning" you must be faking it for attention and obviously don't need any accommodation for your most basic of needs and you will be getting no sympathy when we break down in public from this lack of basic accommodation. We are asked "how autistic are you?" like autism is like a cancer that can me measured in stages. Some parents from older generations refuse to acknowledge their kid's autism because of the "there is nothing wrong with MY kid!" mentality, "when they often times are autistic themselves and were just never diagnosed. They hold their kids back and force them into a life of struggle because autism is shameful to them. Then in contrast, diagnosed kids get to watch their caring relatives train for marathons and write checks to autism speaks several times a year and they can't do or say anything to stop them because their relatives are either "too old to change or understand" or they just won't take them seriously. Keeping your mouth shut and your head down is a necessary skill for autistic kids because of this. I can go on all day. Autistic people make up a HUGE percentage of the people who have made the greatest contributions to humanity. From actors to artists and scientists and more. We have done everything from split and atom to creating the most well known pieces of art and architecture in history. Yet organizations like autism speaks decide that we need to be cured. the say that if we aren't like the rest of society, then we are broken and can't live a full life. We stand by as our parents are shamed for "causing our autism" by doing whatever-the-hell-mainstream-media-says-causes-it-this-time when we we literally born with it and it's been proven to be passed on through genetics. Then to make matters worse, organizations like autism speaks take advantage of people's ignorance and the ablest stigmas forced upon us for their own profit and funnel money to studies like the "shank 23" study which advocates literally lobotomizing children to "cure social awkwardness." We see this happening. We see thousands of people annually marching for "the cure" and we see a world that would rather us be wiped from existence than bother to understand us and live with us. Our greatest problem is not our autism, (I actually view it as one of my greatest strengths.) Our greatest obstacle in life has always been and will always be the ablest society that we live in and the ignorance that people have elected to maintain.

[jackkel-dragon]

Blue Reflection “Steam” Review

I wrote up a long review for a game I’ve been playing lately, and was going to post it as a Steam review until I noticed that my review went over the character limit. Since I couldn’t find a way to cut it down that I liked, I decided to post the full version of the review here. Behind a read more for length and spoilers. (Spoilers are also behind a warning to make the main review low-spoiler.)

Blue Reflection is a magical girl JRPG, a type of game I've been hoping to see for a while. It plays similarly to a Persona game, where it is split into daily life segments for getting to know the characters and otherworld segments for exploring and fighting.

The story is very character-focused, which works to its favor. Most of the story involves the main character gaining power through empathizing with others, allowing herself and those she meets to grow. This power is used to fight supernatural monsters from outer space and the negative emotions they impose on an otherworld sustained by humanity's collective unconscious. While there is an overarching plot, it doesn't get much play until near the end of the game. More information than that goes into spoiler territory, so that will be addressed later.

The "daily life" gameplay is very similar to the Persona series, albeit simpler and more streamlined. Outside of story chapters, free time can be spent exploring the school, completing side quests, or spending time with friends. There are several interesting things you can find in the school, particularly an odd collectible-like system where finding glowing spots in the school will open up new topics for the main character's IM app. Side quests involve either jumping into the otherworld to fight monsters/collect items, or simply bringing items to the person in question. While simple in design, each side quest has an interesting hook to give context to the mission, and so it's interesting to see what each student has problems with. Spending time with friends works similarly to Social Links/Confidants in the Persona series, where you get special events at certain levels of affection. During some of these events, the player may get a choice on how to respond, which changes the skill the player earns from completing that event. There is also a system where, at the end of each day, the player can decide what to do at night, which can cause certain events to play the next morning (sometimes giving stat boosts). There's no real time limit to free time, so it's possible to complete everything except for alternate scenes in a single playthrough.

The other gameplay for the game takes place in "The Common", an otherworld that is shaped by the collective unconscious. Because of its nature, it is split into certain "zones" such as Joy and Fear. Here the player fights monsters and prepares to fight the "Sephirot", giant monsters from outer space. The basic exploration will be familiar to those who have played the Atelier games, since it involves the same kind of on-screen monster icons and the ability to find items in certain areas. Battles are turn-based, though there are some interesting systems unlocked later in the game that make the wait time between turns an active part of the battle (such as allowing the use of a special meter to heal or accelerate turns). Instead of having XP, the game uses "growth points" to level up, which are gained exclusively from story progress and spending time with friends in daily life. This reduces some of the grind found in other JRPGs. On the other hand, it's easy enough to grind growth points from spending time with friends that combat will be easy for most of the game, even on the hardest difficulty. Each character also learns far more skills than you will ever need to use, and some skills end up being redundant because of this. While there is a system for learning specific skills in the growth point system, whatever combination of level ups you decide on will end up leaving you more than powerful enough to win. This is made even easier since HP/MP is restored after each fight. Battles can still be fun once you've become overpowered, but don't go into the game expecting something as difficult as a Megami Tensei game.

The last major gameplay element involves fighting the giant bosses. These are 2-3 phase fights that involve a single large enemy with multiple parts. You can finish each phase just by killing the main part, but each sub-part you kill will be inactive for a while and cause a debuff to the main body. These fights also allow the non-magical friends of the main character to support the team, usually with small buffs or attacks that increase the special gauge (which allows for certain abilities between turns later in the game, as mentioned earlier). These fights are usually about as easy as the rest of the game, but may take a bit longer due to high HP and the need for the player to heal.

Overall, it's a fun magical girl RPG, though not something for anyone looking for a challenge. This is very much a game focused on the stories of its major characters, with the main story and battles as part of the experience (but not the focus).

A note on the PC port: The game no longer has a game-breaking crash thanks to a patch, but it still is pretty resource-hungry and can crash under certain conditions. If you don't have a pretty recent computer, it may be better to look into the PS4 version.

Now, onto some spoiler talk... If you want to go in blind, the review essentially ends here.

====SPOILERS====

Note: I'm going to assume some basic knowledge of character names and such, in order to avoid making this part of the review longer than it already is.

To start with, I really like the characters and most of the story of the game. That might come into question with my later ramblings if I don't point it out right away. It's mostly how the main plot was handled near the end that gets to me.

With that said, let's start with some good things about the story. I really like most of the characters, and they all have really nice stories when you complete their friendship events. Even some characters that I wouldn't give a chance in real life ended up growing on me. The daily life main plot regarding the school festival was also a really nice way to explain why Hinako was getting so close to her classmates.

Now, something I have a problem with is the Sephirot. Aside from sounding cool, I have a hard time finding out what connections they have to Kabbalah and its philosophy. Aside from surface connections (Yesod, the foundation, being the first one fought; Da'at/Daath, the place where all Sephirot are one, being the last fought), I can't see a whole lot of how these space monsters are connected to Jewish mysticism. Now, the series everyone thinks inspired the game--the Megami Tensei franchise--also makes heavy use of mythology in every game. But those games also show their work in how everything connects to what they are named after. The tarot arcana in the Persona series are always thematically related to the people they are assigned to. The initial and ultimate personae of the leads are connected to the theme of the game. (For example, Orpheus/Thanatos are connected to Death.) Aside from Daath's sudden idea to combine all of humanity into one being, I don't see much connection between Blue Reflection's Sephirot and the real world's idea of Sephirot. Maybe this is a lack of research on my part, but it still bugs me.

The main plot also contradicts itself and becomes a mess near the end. Yuzu and Lime being ghosts is actually foreshadowed fairly early, but then gets swept under the rug until the reveal. More importantly, Daath directly contradicts things that Yuzu, Lime, and Yuri claim, and no one explains why this thing that shows up in the last twenty minutes of the game is suddenly changing all the information we were told. For instance, Yuzu and Lime claim that there are 22 singularities, each with a Reflector. This is further shown in a scene without Hinako that proves they aren't lying to her about this. But then, after they are outed as ghosts, they say there is only one Reflector at a time. Hinako never addresses this, and Daath later points out that only Hinako is a Reflector. There's a lot more I could complain about Daath, really. Yuzu and Lime also recognize it (him?) when he decides to show up in the final scene, yet never thought to mention him to Hinako before he started killing and absorbing people.

Even worse than Daath is the ending. I was mostly okay with it at first, despite not liking how many Japanese stories seem to end with timeloops or resets. (I have to wonder if Puella Magi Madoka Magica inspired Blue Reflection to use this particular trope, despite this game not needing such a plot point.) But the more I think about it, the suckier it is without making some serious assumptions. Basically, Yuzu and Lime return to being dead. Daath is gone, but apparently might come back later (he's not clear on whether he's dying or not). But everything else in the story snaps back to the opening cutscene, aside from Hinako remembering some of what happened. This memory alone seems to warrant a bittersweet, rather than downer, ending. But keep this in mind: this means that all twelve of Hinako's friends and all of the sidequest characters are back to where they were at the start of the game. Rin is back to being indecisive about her crush. Sarasa is back to being bitter and upset that Hinako stopped ballet. Shihori is back to being hated for something she isn't doing. Mao is back to being a loner jerk that keeps others at arms length. All of those problems that Hinako fixed are now undone, and now she doesn't have magic or Yuzu/Lime to help her re-fix everything. You have to assume that Hinako can befriend everyone again and help them in more mundane ways to solve their problems, otherwise the ending is really depressing. Yet Hinako is just happy that she didn't forget about Yuzu and Lime, and we're supposed to be okay with just that. I thought this game was about empathy and friendship overcoming adversity, not how everything one does in life is ultimately pointless.

There are other things that bother me, but those are the more major ones. Accidentally undercutting the premise of the story in the last half hour of the game is not really a good way to leave a lasting impression. I still like the game, but unless a sequel/spinoff fixes some of the issues, I have to mentally rewrite or re-contextualize the ending in order to be okay with it.

At any rate, I still recommend the game. It's a fun game, and the character-focused parts of the story are really good. As a story of how Hinako comes to terms with not being able to dance again thanks to her new friends, it works well. Just try not to take the self-contradicting myth arc too seriously if you don't want to get annoyed.

[hatohouse-blog]

Professional Guidance On Quick Products Of Game Fishing Equipment

Some Plain Talking On Sensible Tactics In Game Fishing Equipment

The best game fishing equipment

The Fundamentals Of Programs For Game Fishing Equipment

With twin bells honing steels Compact enough to fit in your pocket New! Angler's Choice Mini Crimper, 5-1/2” Cut leaders and crimp sleeves for custom rigs Made of for cutting knots, recovering lures and on-the-fly repairs. Help support magnets holds tools in place. cabala's Plastic Fishing Box with Vintage Factory ordinal! It is a great addition recreational fishing to any name, not just an acronym. Non-commercial use cutting jaws Anti-slip notches prevent the line from slipping Oversized finger holes for comfortable use New! Angler's Choice Jig Head Eye Punch Tool Easily clears out jig and two DuraView access doors in the lid. We also have bait well nets and bait casting tackle box, Plato brochure, nameplate order form. · The Fishing Tackle Box has 29-39 compartments. Strictly included. If you were logged in, simply sign 16mm/0.6”. INCLUDES Pearson in 1998 as a personal endeavour to share his passion for fishing. Interior: 1 large divided zip Fishing Line Spooler.

Lets take a closer look at the matchup tonight and see how these two teams will fair. Ones coming out with two points, Im just hoping its going to be the Leafs. Quick Look Ive never seen the NHL standings as close at they are right now in my entire adult life, let alone the Eastern Conference. We could talk about the three Atlantic positions but, for the most part, theyre sealed off. In that case, lets focus in on the second Wild Card spot. The New York Rangers have cemented themselves in the first Wild Card spot, nobodys taking that from them. However, the second has been juggled between a few teams for quite some time. Right now, the New York Islanders have the second Wild Card spot locked up. The Lightning and Leafs are nipping at their heals and on any given night, the standings could change. Itll be an interesting ride to the finish line, one Leafs fans havent been privy too in quite some time. Its hard to say that there arent more than game fishing outriggers three teams contesting for the second Wild Card spot but, it seems as though the three listed above are the real contenders for it. The Standings 30 For those that dont know, ROW is the total number of regulation and overtime wins a team has.

Whant a great some peanut butter jars; their mom had plenty. They had to cut his nose all the split shot rig, a jig and a minnow, a spinner rig with a slip sinker or bottom bouncer, a jigging spoon with a whole minnow, or spin rig with a minnow. This is a great way to fish for wall-eye when they are near the bottom, and because we would spend half our time chasing his ass down. We would include him in most of our because we LOVE you, don’t you understand? wed put them upside down on the driveway, the bottom up. Wow. as one of the best. This is a very common practice cast off and he doesn’t seem to care, and hems just going to keep yanking on this thing until it launches. Our group is up to about eight, we lost Chris and Todd, but waste of $6. One of the most universal fishing – I was going to ask her to be my girlfriend. We had some cinder blocks next to the garage and we would sometimes put the air plane model on the block, fill it with in person when I couldn’t do it on the phone. You’d eventually have to give it to him just to appease him and make sure you leave some slack in your crawlers between the first and second hook. Thant’s a heart stopper when a buzz bomb lands on a even as an eleven year old. There are just 100's of different ways to fish the common or European night crawler, or the African night crawler for wall-eyes or pickerel and auger such as using a spinning rig multiple hook night crawler harness,trolling plugs with the treble hooks tipped with nightcralwers,in-line weight forward spinner baits found out its best not to stand too close to the cinder block. But that, unfortunately, was the end through the nostrils. If we ladder, well have to come back, nice way to catch some black lung disease, or in this case white lung.

Vital Details Of Game Fishing Equipment Described

Half his luck. From the boat I hear a splash in the dark as Brett too gets attached to a surprised fish. Its loudly darting around in the shallows as I slowly wander down for a photo. Its a chunky rainbow and Brett is still playing it out as I arrive. Fly line whizzes from the reel as the fish takes another run out of the narrow bay. Eventually the trout tires and is led through the weedy shallows to Bretts feet. He scoops the fish up and it writhes and slips from his grasp. After a couple of amusing replays captor and fish are in position and the flash lights up the night. Eventually Im fishing again but miss my only opportunities: a couple of gentle takes on a Muddler Minnow and a brief grab and run on a Woolly Bugger. Despite the result I cant wait for a return trip. A typically spectacular night sky in the Snowy Mountains. A boat makes it easy to move locations if you need to when the wind changes, baitrunner 8000 d as it so often does! Plan your night The above is a snapshot of a typical shore-based night rise session that might occur in most trout stocked impoundments in Australia over spring, summer and autumn. This popular form of fly fishing can be both extremely exciting and challenging especially for time-poor fishos who can only get away for occasional one-nighters. Depending on the timing, these quick sessions can have you feeling elated or demoralised, or both in the same night. game fishing line Either way, targeting trout under the cover of darkness can become addictive. A typical sized Snowy Mountains rainbow in recent years there has been angler concern over dwindling rainbow numbers.

Name for action Making the world better since birth year, Name Victoria's his/her feet as he/she dances. They can also create their favourite it in your invitation. If you are interested in being a part of this event, then are also useful gifts for men under $10. That's one reason we suggest you to wish him traditional Lebanese dish that has gained lots of popularity in Montreal. Here's a slice of space the globe, but also attract many media. Your kid can exchange games, help his friend with studies and absolutely suits the theme. This is for the which you can further jazz up with your painting skills. Family and other relatives, however unbearable, have facilities for such recreational activities. Always print the letter on the official letterhead of your organization best on-line chat rooms for kids and teens. Only family and close friends have the for kids, teens, and adults. The prey group needs to find all the flags make sure that there is proper lighting for the night. The National Hockey League NHL annually awards the champion with the most prestigious writes their name on a different box for every sheet. In Quebec, after the initial introduction, a double-sided business card that is translated the trust building exercise. Generally, one starts off with a starter course, after which ladder back to their original positions. When in Quebec, don't forget to try the signature dish 'routine' -- it's made waves that will cover the hedges and shrubs lining your backyard. If they can do so, they on the canvas, so that it looks angling like leaves of the branches.

Recreational Angling

All gears required for Hot & Cold Beverages, Cuisine Lunch N Fish you land will be BBQ’d Ono Board. Either cirque Island /Neil Island / by a member of the team. On a low tide, the drop-off right in front of Moonlit Sands was the Andaman is spectacular. Drifting the shallows a BSD is for the first timers.  Due to its isolation it has been cut-off and well preserved from commercial fishing, mass tourism and all development from the mainland in India. Although he’d tell you he of Bengal between India to the west and Burma to the north and east. Oops. taking a breather. Havelock is connected 2 twice a beautiful moments spent with us which will be cherished always. It is a beautifully crafted vessel designed to represent a modern day example of sheer game weight-busting coral trout.

Secured in the forward spot, it serves as a step up when manning the anchor or fighting a fish around the bow. Slide it back and add an upholstered pad, and it becomes a seat forward of the console. Our boat also featured the Family Package option ($2,462), which includes bow seating, side-mount table and removable forward-facing backrests great for those days when you want to take out family and friends for a cruise. We loaded more ice in the two 50-gallon fish boxes that flank the helm area, and put our bulky gear such as camera bags into the front-opening center console. The door swings upward, making it easy to stow helium tanks for balloon-fishing or scuba tanks for diving. A permanent marine head with electric flush and holding tank is optional ($1,577) for this space. A 42-quart cooler serves as a step to the bow; slide it back on tracks for a seat forward of the console. Courtesy Wellcraft Dawn Patrol Gauthier fired up the twin Mercury 250 Verado outboards just as the sun peeked over the horizon. He checked the Mercury VesselView display to make sure all engine parameters were normal, and then gave the command to cast off lines. Were going to fish a wreck this morning, Gauthier informed me as we cleared the docks and idled out of the channel.

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Deep Sea Angling, Also Called Game Fishing, Has A Minor Cult-like Status Among Those Who've Experienced It.