#but i have emotional time to prepare for the Bug Up My Ass then lmao. shes done the job she has before anyway

[timeisacephalopod]

Omg the fucking CONSTRUCTION I was on ONE bus (the express at that) for nearly 40 fucking minutes because of traffic that in part was caused by construction and normally my whole trip home is 35 minutes. Then I GET home and my asshole cat knocked a bunch of shit over obviously rip roaring around the damn house acting like a fucking fool AND I forgot it was garbage day. Plus the new manager started at work today and stuff got mixed up so I had to deal with her until almost noon training and she seems fine, it's fine, except the thing I LIKE about my job is not having people up my ass all day it's a very solitary job minus the small chats I have with coworkers and instead I had to spend my morning with my boss up my ass ☠️☠️☠️ PLUS in the afternoon I was running my ass off because basically everything needed to be cooked for everyone and I was like I cannot catch a break!! Minus my literal breaks, which I skip rarely because fuck you.

The only saving grace is that in the middle of writing this very post the internet I ordered called me back to confirm my shit (the company, obviously, not the literal internet) and it looks like I won't have to go even a DAY without internet they'll be at my new place at 11 am. I can be watching Netflix unpacking by 3 😎😎😎

[vermillionbones]

I'd love to hear more of your Phobditor HCs!!

ohoho thank you for enabling me anon i am going to kiss you directly on the mouth /pl

also slight warning for spoilers to the new(??) ending of project nexus!! i don't talk explicitly about what happens in general, but the stuff involving phobos is mentioned in the very first hc so for those of you who don't wanna be spoiled you can just skip that one lol. grab sum popcorn lads this one's a long one snbcnkcnvmv

Phobditor HCs!!

rbs very much appreciated 👉👈

---------------

so i hc that phobos didn't actually get banished at the end of MPN, but he did get his ass handed to him to the point where he was so injured and drained of energy that he couldn't use most of his abilities. he went into hiding for a while and eventually found the AAHW, which he proceeded to join since he didn't really have anywhere else to go. after he'd healed and returned to his full strengh the auditor recognised how potentially useful he could be as a second in command, but ofc he'd have to earn her trust first. normally i don't try to make things make sense like this but since the auditor isn't actually in MPN i thought i'd at least try lmao

the auditor: ruthless girlboss by day, feral spouse-adjacent shithead by night

phobos is basically the same but instead he's manipulate mansplain by day and malewife manwhore by night /hj

before they got closer they'd never really physically interacted w/ each other, so phobos kind of assumed the auditor would be at least slightly painful to touch [cuz yknow. she's made of fire lmao]. plus he'd witnessed her setting things and people on fire with her bare hands before and he'd rather not get turned into a walking bonfire, thanks. the closest she'd ever been to touching him previously was like flicking the antenna on his helmet to piss him off

but like way, WAY later he finds out that audi can actually manipulate the temperature of their flames to an extent, so when they touch his hand for the first time he's really surprised when they're just like. pleasantly warm. kinda like the fuzziness you feel after you drink something hot but on the outside of your body

however this has also resulted in phobos using her as a mobile safety blanket lmao. sometimes if it gets too cold in the office he'll wander up to her and bug her until she folds a wing around him and tucks his head under her chin

when he's being a shithead sometimes she'll just pick him up by the back of his jacket and drag him off like a disobedient kitten lmao

They don't really have a super crazy height difference normally [i hc that audi is around 6'3 and phobos is 5'10 if he's not slouching] but sometimes she just morphs herself to have a several-foot height advantage just to fuck with him. like she'll appear in his office as this 9-foot-tall behemoth and he'll just be like "?? excuse me?? ma'am?? you can't do this to me???"

before he got to know her better, phobos had no idea the auditor preferred she/they pronouns over they/it like the agents around him seemed to think. he never made a big deal out of it and never explicitly brought it up, but he remembers to switch it up for her every now and then. plus whenever audi overhears him doing that she gets all fuzzy inside sfbfnckvj

phobos really likes her wings. he actually might be a little jealous of them, but he'd never tell her that sfvngk

ever since audi found out about this, they tend to subtly unfurl them and use them to gesticulate more when he's around. occasionally she'll use the claws at the peaks of her wings on touchscreens in place of a finger n stuff. she's also [gently] swatted him upside the head with a wing a few times when he was being a dickhead, but it doesn't really hurt him lol

she also lets him pet them when they're not busy. contrary to what he'd assumed, it doesn't actually feel like a whole lot to her - she's described the feeling as something similar to how it feels to have someone tracing their fingers along the back of your hand

phobos stims sometimes!! he has a bad habit of masking while he's working since a few of them are vocal and he doesn't want to distract anyone, but if he's just hanging out with audi he's totally chill. one of his more common ones is when he thinks out loud, either quietly narrating his current train of thought or saying unrelated words - usually confirmations like 'yeah' or 'mhm' - out loud cuz he thinks they're fun to say. occasionally he'll start humming low in his throat kinda like a microwave cuz he likes how his voice feels in his chest

also when he's standing idle sometimes he holds his arms closer to his chest and fidget with them

the auditor doesn't stim, but to people who know them well their wings are like big signs that can wordlessly describe how they're feeling [which is like my favourite thing to write cos wing emoting is really fun skdjbknk]. occasionally they might subtly flutter their wings when they're very pleased or receive good news, or flare them out when they're irritated/stressed

i always forget that phobos is actually like super powerful in canon so i hc that audi does too lmao. like it always slips her mind that he can teleport too so she'll dramatically disappear after telling him off for doing some dumb shit and fuckin scream when he somehow appears in the same room as her less than a second later

phobos has a red and black lava lamp in his office!! he'd never admit it but he got it cuz it reminds him of audi :]

phobos loves watching audi in combat for some reason. i mean he already likes watching them do stuff so he can backseat drive, but he's also quietly admitted that her fighting style is interesting to watch

he can't really put it into words, but it's because the way they fight looks incredibly effortless and fluid, mainly due to them having so much time to adapt to and understand their powers [both their original powers and the ones granted by the halo]. when phobos' own abilities started to surface he was incredibly unstable and struggled to properly harness them for months, so he thinks it's nice to watch someone who actually knows what they're doing for once.

much to the auditor's surprise, phobos is actually a bit insecure behind all that confudence, particularly about scars. after being close to her for a while, phobos came out of his shell a bit and explained how he managed to grant himself his powers/abilities, which is something i'll absolutely go further in depth with later [via a longer hc that i'm gonna post eventually lol] but to summarise he basically infused himself with raw madness in what he's eloquently dubbed 'the incident'. Of course, doing that to himself didn't come without consequence, and he's permanently scored with a variation of lightning & burn scars on his forearms, thighs, and most of his torso.

for the longest time, the most casual thing he'd wear even around just her was the long-sleeved sweater he wore underneath his trench coat, and he refused to change even if he was literally overheating. though eventually after he told her about what happened he felt way more comfortable and now whenever they're in their shared room audi practically has to throw a shirt at him to get him to wear one sbkcjcnk

the auditor has a sort of subspace/pocket dimension where they can store different items and recall them at will. normally it's pretty empty, but ever since she grew to like phobos she's started keeping miscellaneous things in there for him. sometimes she pulls out a drink or snack that he likes, sometimes she pulls out a little water gun with phobos' name scrawled on it and shoots him with it when he's being a shithead

they are both,, SO fucking touch-starved. like they will not let go of each other [at least if they're not currently in the middle of something or around agency employees] cuz internally they're both just going "wow!!! that's a hand i'm holding!!!!! there's a hand holding my hand!!!! wow!!!!!! i love this!!!!!"

having one eye isn't exactly the best thing for depth perception, especially when you're really tired, so sometimes audi has to hold phobos' hand and guide him around in the mornings because he can [and has] walked into walls and counters

even since before they became a thing, phobos had been a little envious of the auditor's halo and the powers it granted her. he used to subtly try to yoink it from her, maliciously at first but far more playfully later, where he'd like lightly grab it and give it a gentle spin above her head like a mobile. but his infatuation with the halo kinda died after she decided to let him borrow/try it out once by allowing him to link with it

by linking i essentially mean like wearing it, but the halo is so powerful that you can't just 'wear' it without letting it bond with a part of you

long story short, he went into it with far too much overconfidence & cockiness and the halo violently rejected him, kind of like how it rejected the auditor once. he wasn't at all prepared for the sheer amount of power that surged through him the moment it started to link with him, so it essentially short-circuited his brain and knocked him unconscious for the better part of a week. when he woke again, the auditor told him he was lucky his head didn't explode and calmly suggested they never tried that again, and he felt inclined to agree.

of course, he still toys with the halo while the auditor's properly linked with it since he knows it can't link to more than one host at a time. and despite his seeming ease and "it's in the past" sort of mentality about the whole event, if someone mentions the concept of him actually taking the halo and linking with it again, he'll shudder and shake his head, saying it's not his place to do so.

the auditor has no doubt it delivered a pretty harsh blow to his ego [being rejected by the thing that would make him a god would prolly do that], but knows he's too prideful to admit that.

audi likes listening to phobos when he goes off on super long monologues, especially if they're like those super cheesy villain monologues. like he could literally be talking about anything and she'll sit there to hear him out, especially if it's less related to work and more about himself

the auditor is super deliberate in the way they pronounce things and they tend to casually drawl their words out to further cement their cool, unbothered boss persona. however the way she talks doesn't really intimidate phobos anymore since he's also been next to her right after she's been woken up, when she's mumbling quietly & slurring some of her words together. he knows the big scary boss side of the auditor is just a persona used for everyone but him, so he feels a lot more at ease with them even when they're trying to be scary

even after being together for a while, phobos still has no fucking idea what the auditor is made of. like he's admitted to her that he's genuinely clueless, and if she lets him he'll spend like 99% of their downtime quietly interacting with her flames [read: curling his fingers through them and petting them] while he muses about his hypotheses for how stuff like her liquidy-shadow form works. they were a little suspicious of his motives at first, but after they relaxed they realised he was just genuinely curious and willing to share his concepts to see if he was right

they have like. the smoothest banter anyone at the agency has seen. like it's super cheesy back-and-forth stuff that wouldn't sound out of place in an 80s sitcom, but it just kinda flows out when they're both comfortable. and ofc they'd deny it if anyone mentioned it but they literally banter like an old married couple lmAO

-----------------

[echthr0s]

was reading r/ffxiv (a thread about healing, in particular, so you can imagine how that thread went) and had some Thoughts

mainly about how people approach playing with others, because a lot of focus seems to be on "other people should play the way I want them to play / the way [x resource] says is the most optimal way to play", which does have its place in ensuring a run doesn't repeatedly end in disaster (the big orange circles/cones are there for a reason! so are those other buttons on your hotbars!), but also ignores the opportunity for one to learn how to manage their own emotional responses to what other people do

if you use the Duty Finder at all, you are spinning a roulette wheel. you have no idea what kind of players you're going to be matched with. you know this, going in. it behooves you to be ready for anything, and to prepare your responses ahead of time. maybe that means "if I get Syrcus Tower one more fucking time I'm just gonna abandon duty and eat the penalty" because that's less annoying than going through ST again and being so irritated about it that I make mistakes or say something unnecessary in chat or generally have a bad time when I could have avoided having a bad time by leaving and letting some other poor DPS who's been in queue for 20 minutes have my spot instead. or, maybe that means having plans of action for a tank who refuses to use mitigation for whatever reason -- my plan generally is to ask tank to use mits, and depending on response, either: 1) successfully get through the run with the tank having learned something; 2) sigh, adjust, hope for the best; or 3) vote dismiss. I don't have to worry about getting into a stupid ass argument or getting tilted about their behaviour, because I know what my options are. my emotions are managed before the queue even pops.

people will talk at length about how to be a better player so other people don't get mad at you, but it's so much harder to have a productive conversation about how to properly manage your own emotional responses so that you don't have to worry about other people's playstyles in the first place. not everyone will share your values or your philosophies about MMO gaming. that's incontrovertible truth. is it sustainable to constantly get angry at them for that, for being individuals with their own approaches and desires? or is it more sustainable to learn how to adapt to that in a way that doesn't compromise anyone's values and also minimises personal aggro? for some people, that means only queueing with friends. for some people, that means adjusting their own approach to party content. for some people, that means... playing WoW instead, idfk. but it does involve taking some responsibility for one's own experience instead of just being pissed at everyone else for not being the same as oneself.

personally, in my few years (on and off) on FFXIV I've learned a lot about what it means to play well with others. I've improved my playing, yes, but I've also evaluated my values about how I want to treat other people and how I want to be treated in group content. for example, I've learned that a thing I value is creativity and adaptation -- more than wanting people to play smoothly and get through the run quickly, I want a variety of experience. I value those moments when I have to think on the fly and figure out creative solutions, even if it's annoying at first or takes longer. I also value making things funny and lighthearted -- like Titan's "yeet" mechanic. I love it when I'm healing or tanking Titan Normal and everyone gets yeeted, it's funny to me. I try to make jokes about it so the sprouts don't feel so bad about it, because really, it's not a big deal. big rock man is a pushover anyway, and even with wipes it's a really short duty. my approach is always to do things that emphasise that we're all just playing a game together and trying to have a good time. if someone doesn't agree and wants to be a stickler about things, then, fine. that's their business. they can even votekick me if they like, I'll just queue up again and go on about my business. if they get abusive in chat, well, ain't that exactly what the report button is for? they can't make me feel bad about myself because I've already decided how I want to play and I'm secure in my stance as a perfectly average player who is always open to learning.

ultimately, I think playing an MMO well is not just about mechanics and learning how to push buttons, but also about learning how to socialise with a vast variety of people -- people who don't speak your language, people who refuse to read party chat, people who love to speedrun, people who move as slow as possible and go into every side room, new players, old players, people older than you, people younger than you, people who came from WoW and haven't quite nailed how things work in XIV yet, people who spam emotes, those weird couples who just ERP through the whole dungeon (lmao), and so on ad infinitum. and that's a feature, not a bug. it's an opportunity, not an annoyance.

[get-shiggy-with-it]

Heyo this is for your 400 milestone special thing, I hope there are slots left👀

Anyways I guess I should tell you a bit about myself now: I'm VERY sarcastic (if you cant tell), I'm more introverted but act hella extroverted around my friends or if I'm doing something I'm really comfortable with and something I am passionate about. I like to make a joke out of everything and laugh when I'm uncomfortable👍🏻 I'm pretty friendly and would do anything for anyone I cared about, but as soon as your cross me and the people I care about boundaries, prepare for hell. I dont take shit and I won't allow the people I care about to get shit on either. I will cut a bitch and cut a bitch off if necessary. I'm HELLA competitive, and enjoy sports and working out for that reason haha. I love music and can sing pretty well (I've won comps and stuff for it and have gotten some scholarships to college for it). I'm currently going to school to be an athletic trainer cause I really like competition and sports obviously and wanna be able to help people achieve their dreams in a healthy way. I wanna ultimately be an athletic trainer for the boys volleyball Olympic team (team usa). I'm also a huge empath🧍‍♀️

Physical description, oh la la~ I'm about 5'5" so pretty short :l I have shoulder length hair that is split down the middle (half blonde, half light brown) with curtain bangs. I'm a little on the chubby side but about average weight with curves. I have big titties lol (they're like my only asset cause I got no ass lmao) I have pretty decent muscles and physically strong. I have blue eyes and fair skin with lots of freckles.

I hope that was enough of a description and stuff but uh yeah, have a good night/day/afternoon lol-

Hey there! Thanks for playing! Have a ship <3

From the description above, I have to give you Denki!

I feel like he's one of those people that annoys the hell out of you at first glance, but once you warm up to him, it's very easy to be open with each other. He also strikes me as like himbo adjacent and while a bit of a dumbass, actually sort of in tune with his emotions and able to form really tight relationships with others. Having a few years as a pro under his belt, he‘s had the time to mature a bit in that way. He's also down to clown, so the constant joking and nervous laughter are fine by him.

Denki's gonna be someone you'd need strong boundaries for. When I say he's not afraid to be open, he's really not afraid to be open in his relationships. He will almost certainly not realize how much his constant venting or need to spend time together might be a bit exhausting, so if you're able to enforce your own needs then all the better.

You know that boy would bug you constantly to sing for him. Sit outside the bathroom door with his ear up against the crack to listen if you refuse and is completely willing to get his ass beat with a shampoo bottle for his troubles. He's never gonna be able to match you in physicality, cause he's a bit of a twink and proud but he'd get some real sick enjoyment out of watching you compete with all his friends. Very much the 'my gf can beat your ass' type.

His chaotic bisexual self is also never gonna say no to a nice pair of titties either so you've got him there.

Abandoned Options: Bakugou, Mina, Hizashi (it's the loud blondes for me)

[dolphin-enthusiast]

Hello! Can have a Match up please! I'm a 5'3 non-binary person that presents as androgynous. I'm asexual, but I have no preference in gender for those I love. I have brown hair that's at my shoulders but i have it in a bun mostly so people can see my undercut. I have a looot of empathy and compassion for other people for an autistic person and I try my hardest to be as kind as possible. I get called cute a lot for this, which is a little odd. (1/2)

“I love art and writing, and I am currently studying art at College. I'm pretty introverted, but I love talking to people, especially my friends and close ones. I've been having a bit of an uphill battle with mental health and can easily overwork myself, so sometimes I need someone to help pull myself out of it. I love hearing people talk about what they love! I am very affectionate but will tone it down for someone's comfort. Thank you! (2/2)“

I match you with,,,

ROHAN!

OK OK before u cancel me bestie💔💔 I didn’t just match yall SIMPLY BC of the art thing, no, no. I am a firm believer of opposites attract and ultimately manage to blend well, therefore I’m positively sure that you’d somehow end up catching the mangaka’s attention even if at first he’d just repress it like he does with any kind of emotion in general lmao. First of all, your aesthetic and H A I R dude he’d instantly love your little funky undercut-bun combo (ok but undercut gang gang).

Now, speaking of opposites attract.....I have a feeling your kind and compassionate personality would at first bug him, but more in a “wth why are they like this, don’t they know people can hurt them so why are they so forgiving and loving?” kinda beat. Like he simply cannot get how some people can be trusting and just...unapologetically kind towards others for no reason...UNTIL YOU COME IN. Rohan is a tough one to crack but once he warms up to you he’d def try being more open with his constipated feelings <333 not to mention that if you ever told him that you were feeling down or he saw you overworking yourself (smth he literally does on a daily basis so...here yall are twinning tbh) he’d immediately step in and yeet you to the goddamn kitchen where he’d fix you a big ass, well deserved meal then make you spend some free time with him so you can kick back and relax. Tbh I feel like you two would help eachother constantly to the point where you’d immediately become self aware of your overworking habits, which would be one more step towards avoiding it in the future.

Now, although Rohan ain’t the touchy type, he’d actually like you touching him even if he’s a certified tsundere and is way too fuckin prideful as to ask for cuddles and such, which is why you’d always be the one initiating them. But when he DOES decide to get bold then prepare for alot of uncharacteristic blushing. Don’t even try teasing him bc he’ll shut off instantly and his brain is gonna straight up bluescreen lmao. Also, I don’t think I gotta say this but: d r a w i n g d a t e s. Yall could literally just...go out in the park and start sketching manga..or the scenery...all while having a nice little picnic...literally a n y t h i n g like this would make Rohan unspeakably happy cuz you’re just that awesome, yknow???

[ofhomeland-a]

hello happy new year ! even though i’ve been on tumblr on and off for almost like 8 years or something , i’ve only been writing dinah on tumblr since october 23rd and even though i don’t interact with nearly as many people as i’d like to , it warms my heart that this many people enjoy what i write ! they enjoy my portrayal and they share the same love that i have for my muse , and that means everything to me ! because dinah madani ? oh , boy ... she stomped into my own home and snatched my own heart from my chest ; i love her so much , and i love writing her character so much . so uh , i know this is such an ugly post , but i was taken by surprise when i took a quick look through my followers this morning .

first of all , i want to thank each and every one of you for following me and wanting to interact . i appreciate you all not only for enjoying my content and portrayal , but just for existing and getting through it all . you’re here , it’s about to be a new year , and i’m proud of you for that . 

second , i do want to shout at a few people real quick because that’s what people do on these things , right ?

CLOSEST FRIENDS

@agentstein / @catwalksilhouette / @brightwasright / @finaldisorder — we’ve been at this for almost a decade . we met on this hellsite and we formed a relationship on this hellsite and now you’re my best friend and fiance . you support me and indulge all of my weird ass ideas . nothing is too ‘ far out ’ for you ; you never make me feel insecure about my characters or ideas . love that for me . love that for us . you’re the best and i’m just so thankful we met on our jim and molly blogs so feckin’ long ago . you’re the light in my life , and the main reason i continue on . as with every relationship , there are bumps , but god damn we work through them like the champions we are . keep on keepin’ on , you funky little love bug . i love you more than life .

@kingoftheravens / @apogexn — *slaps top of head* this bad boy can fit so many creative ideas in it !!!! no but really , no matter how often i disappear , vicious is DEADASS always here to welcome me back with open arms with zero guilt trips or anything like that . we met ( briefly ) on this blue hellsite like 5+ years ago , and i always really looked up to her as a person and her amazing world building . she was actually one of the first people i met when i made loki all those years ago , so ofc when i saw her url floating around once i made brock , i had to reach out despite being scared to , and i’m so glad i did . <3 vicious , ily and you’re just spectacular . thank you for being such an awesome friendo .

@kupale / @hadncchoice — GOBS i know you aren’t here , but i miss you terribly . we’ve been through ... a lot together LMAO but we came out stronger because of it ! i’m so glad you decided to stick around , and i’m so glad we stuck with each other through it ! i know i speak for milo too when i say this , but you’re amazing . you’re a trooper and you’re going to keep trooping on . i miss you !!!! <3

@soulstcne — !!!!!! this is another one that is literally always here and ready to welcome me back with open arms whenever i disappear and decide to come back . i can never repay your kindness and patience , but i absolutely appreciate it more than anything . shauna is always ready to plot and just spitball ideas ALL day and i love it so much ! also ashley ?? whew , she’s just as amazing <333 

BABES

@zombleeds / @griefends / @whisperswar — MELANIE . ICB !!! i know i’ve said this 100 times , but i remember being in awe of your frank when i wrote on my bucky and i’m just SO glad i decided to reach out to you !!! i know once i stop being a massive potato , we are going to write beautiful and heart breaking things >) thank you for being so positively amazing !!!

@jigscw — i know we don’t talk often , but i just wanted to thank you for always indulging my random IM’s screaming about either dinah & billy or krista & billy . you’re honestly really easy to talk to , and your billy is just CHEF KISS . i love him !!! i love the way you write him ! the tone !!! HHHH everything . thank you for writing with me !

@cynicomplex — listen i know we don’t talk a whole lot , but i appreciate you so much ! i love how open you are to my dumb ideas , and you always support them ! i also love how much i love our two idiots here ..... they’re so dumb and i just can’t with them . i know we’ve only written a few things together , and haven’t really gotten too far in any of them , but the chemistry between dinah and devrah is undeniable ! soon they’ll see they belong together ... soon ... 

@affcgato / @readyforyours / @idumean / @takeseffort / @huntersprayer — i’m so glad i accidentally liked a random thread between you and someone else , because it MADE me reach out in order to apologize for being awkward . i’ve always loved your characterization , no matter the muse . you’re such a sweet and amazing person , i’m really glad we’ve started talking !! also , i just want to point out that fact that you’re incredibly strong , and i am so proud of you !! for getting through the BS that you did !!! and the fact that you’re able to come back ,,, <3 i really hope to plot with you very soon ( with any of your muses ! ) but i just ned to stop being Potato first !!! 

@tocxmply — I KNOW I’M A SLOW ASS POTATO , but we’re 2 replies into our thread and it’s already got me feelin’ some type of way . i love your take on bucky , i love your writing , and i love your dedication . thank you so much for not only following me , but also entertaining my ideas and helping me plot something wonderful . you’re wonderful !

@hakune — !!!!! we haven’t written yet , but when we do .... oh the dash isn’t prepared for it !!! i love your characterization , your write all of your muses with such dedication and love , it’s amazing to see . also your energy on the dash ? top notch . i’m living for it !! 

@warhunting / @blcckbiird / @knifesavvy — i’m sorry you have to put up with so much from shitty people in your inbox . every time i see it , it makes me so angry . but honestly , you’re such a strong person and i’m proud of you for continuing to do what you love ! also rick and dinah ? cuties . i hope to continue developing them in 2020 !

@ikumkani / @sundiety — wow ... your conviction . your energy !!!! your writing !!!!!!! i really admire you and T’Challa , like ... you write him and about him with such a dedicated passion , i can FEEL it radiating from every word ! i love the fact that i can hear his voice in my head with every word , and those headcanons ??? i can’t . also hold on a second , SOL CAME INTO MY OWN HOME and stole my heart , okay . i love her concept , i love her ! i love reading about her , and learning more about her . thank you so much for blessing my dash with your wonderful creations .

@putrifyre — i’ve said it once and i’ll say it 100 more times : I LOVE TASS . I LOVE HIM !!!! I LOVE EVERYTHING YOU HAVE ABOUT HIM . i love how emotional he is !! how loving he is toward his SO’s ! how Soft™ he can be !!! one wouldn’t expect it coming from someone like him , and that really just adds so much to his character ! i’m in love with everything you have for him !! and then you !! oh , you’re a gem ! i know we’ve only spoken a few times , mainly because i’m Shit with keeping up w people , but you’re so ,,, nice . you’re so easy to talk to !! 

@arrowfcrged — !!! omg I LOVE victor , and I LOVE his and dinah’s dynamic so much . and i LOVE how sweet you are ! you’re very welcoming , very fun , and you’re always up for plotting and tossing ideas around ! love that ! thank you so much for writing with me , and for inadvertently helping me figure out dinah’s own sort of vigilante verse . writing with you definitely assisted in fleshing her reasoning out , and it’s wonderful that i was able to do that with you <3

LOVELIES

@cthlicdevil / @warstrike / @boundedbygrief / @elataan / @lcdiablcblanc / @stormweathered / @riddel / @deferentially / @rouqehair / @deivll / @venomtm / @hoyled / @prcsopa / @sniperwithasmoke / @br6vo / @detectiev / @dunnithole / @wardogsong / @hittcr / @fbiartist / @huntreborn / @becomedeviant / @craene / @warcharged / @lasw3ll / @childhealcr / @standsready / @tlmebreaks / @codedhonor / @marredset / @aresblessed / @avocadefense / @fairdoves / @wristful / @falsedking / @hlekter / @miserybled / @cadisfly / @brightprofiler / @healsiick / @thestarskiller / @palespyder / @shitgiven / @ashtouch / @awbartonno / @hopeswrath / @geneticempath / @conflyct / @lucifeyr / @tapewormking / @suppetior 

happy new year , everyone ! let’s make it a great one <3

[skyefullofdaisies]

Endgame review(ish) LOTS OF SPOILERS

I saw it 2 days ago but needed some time to wrap my head around this one. I have never described a movie as a masterpiece before but this definitely hits all my boxes.

What I liked/loved:

•Watching Thanos die twice in one movie was an honor and a damned privilege.

•Tony and Nebula having a friendship & Carol rescuing them

•Pepperony’s reunion ❤️

•After we jumped ahead 5 years and Scott gets reunited with teenage Cassie. That made me tear up. If they ever do another Ant Man movie it’ll be great to see Cassie old enough to have a bigger role

•Seeing Nat crying and showcasing how much Steve and her have such a great relationship plus Carol’s new bad ass ‘do.

•SEEING PEPPERONY’S NEW LIFE! MORGAN STARK! DAD TONY!

•Tony knowing in the end there’s no way he won’t help. It’s just not in his DNA and insisting nothing changes from the last 5 years

•Dad bod!Thor

•Fucking “Dr.” Hulk. Ffs, Bruce 🤣

•The whole going back in time deal. I’m a sucker for time travel and watching Scott get turned old/young and not knowing which one peed his pants, lmao, and Tony guessing right off the bat what happened

•The renewal of the Tony/Steve friendship and team. I missed the two of them being on good terms

• “Dr. Hulk” half heartedly trying to imitate his 2012 self destroying things. Again, for fuck SAKE, Bruce. 😂

•Cap saying “Hail Hydra” easter egg. Since all of us fans were sooo angry over them making Cap hydra in that comic. Steve being all smug as he walks out with the scepter. Tony having Scott give past!tony freaking arrythmia’s for a distraction then being all smug because he thinks he got away with it just to be mowed down by The Hulk who was angry he had to take the stairs & Tony teasing Steve about his ass and Scott admiring it. Same, dude. Same.

•The entire scene of Dr. Hulk going to get his stone

•Steve fighting himself. The whole thing was gold.

• “I can do this all day.” Annoyed future!steve “I know, I know” & “That really is America’s ass” And god bless that ass, my golden haired freedom baby.

•Steve and Tony teaming up and overruling Scott because damn do I miss Stony

•The entirety of Thor/Frigga & Tony/Howard

•MJOLNIR RETURNS

•Everyone finding out about Nat’s death and her mini funeral. Not that I “liked” it per say but I thought it was a beautifully acted scene on Scarlett’s part. Clint’s reaction had me bawling as well as everyone else. I’m not a Bruce/Natasha shipper at all but still. It was a very hard scene to sit through with the whole theater sniffling behind me since I was in the front row. (Side note: LOVED Natasha’s blond/red hair. It was really pretty on her)

•Dr. Hulk taking one for the team by wearing the infinity gauntlet. After Nat’s death I really think there may have been a small part of him that wouldn’t have minded joining her. I was happy to see him make it though

•Nebula getting through to past!Gamora and taking past!Neb down

•Tony finding Steve and calling him “my guy” GOD DAMN DID I MISS THAT FRIENDSHIP

•Thor doing that lightening clothing transformation thing and having both weapons

•Everyone teaming up to kill Thanos (again)

•STEVE BEING WORTHY & SUMMONING LIGHTNING MY GODDDDD THAT WAS HOT (the entire theatre erupted in cheers when he was standing there with his shield and Mjolnir. The scene was even cooler in 3D) Thor smiling when he saw all this and saying “I knew it”

•Steve preparing to face Thanos and his whole army by himself and then all these portals pop up and IT’S EVERYONE. Again the entire theatre were on our feet clapping, cheering and laughing with joy the second the Wakandians came into view. Best. Scene. Ever.

•Pepper! In! A! Suit! Again!

•Peter and Tony’s reunion! Peter talking a mile a minute and Tony being so emotional he just hugged him. Fuck, man. Right in the feels indeed

•All female heroes teaming up

•Wanda being enraged at Thanos and his royal grape ness being scared of her power as well as Carol’s when she showed up

•The Entire fucking battle. The mini reunions. I could sit here and go on for ages about it. This battle scene pretty much was one of the best ones I’ve ever seen in any movie/tv show ever.

•Tony realizing what Dr. Strange meant when he said “if I told you what had to happen it wouldn’t happen” and the look that passed between them. Stephen looking at him with sorrow.

•Tony, knowing it was gonna kill him, putting the gauntlet on anyway.

•Again watching Thanos lose everything he loved to disintegration like our heroes did and realize he’s lost to the Avengers again then die himself. I don’t think I’ve ever hated a movie villain more than him to date.

•Tony’s death. At this point I was back to trying not to sob out loud in front of a bunch of strangers. Peter’s reaction is what got me going. Pepper’s as well as the rest of the OG Avengers who had been with Tony the longest. Rhodey crying and pulling Peter away. Just writing this now I’ve got tears in my eyes.

•Pepper telling Tony it was okay to go and she and Morgan would be fine

•The funeral. The grown up kid from Iron Man 3 being there. Aunt May and Peter. Sending that wreath out onto the lake. It was a stunning scene. Happy talking to Morgan.

• “I love you 3000”

•Old man!Steve. Look, I do not care what plot holes it creates. This movie was too well done to let stupid technicalities bug me. As a loooong time Steggy shipper I’m so happy he got to live where he wanted to live back in the 40’s with the love of his life. I’m thrilled Peggy got the love of hers. I don’t care that it destroys the Agent Carter show. It got canceled anyway so I just do not care. Nor do I care about whoever Peggy’s husband ended up being (it was Daniel from AC, I think) getting erased. The two of them pined for each other for so long I think it was beautifully done in the end. I wish we’d gotten to know how many kids Steggy had but 🤷‍♀️. Bucky was still Bucky. No, Steve didn’t kiss his niece if you listened to Bruce’s explanation but people are being stupidly stubborn on that bit. Steve has been my ride or die hero since his original movie in the MCU. I was terrified he was gonna die in sacrifice. I hate, HATE that it was Tony but I’m a little relieved at the same time, I won’t lie. I’d like to think Steve and Peggy were around for baby!tony. Maybe they were Aunt Peggy and Uncle Steve to him.

•Scott, Hope and Cassie mini family

•Clint happily reuniting with his family

•Ned and Peter reuniting

•SAM! BEING! PASSED! THE! CAPTAIN! AMERICA! MANTLE! I cannot wait for Bucky & Sam’s tv series.

•The film closing out with dancing Steve and Peggy happily in love.

What I did not like/hated:

•Loki surviving. I just hate him. Obviously he was going to given he is getting his own show too but Christ on a cracker

•Both Tony and Natasha’s deaths. I know why they happened but it still really really sucks to lose any of the team for any reason. Seeing the Tony stans super upset has been very hard even if we all knew it was gonna be Steve or Tony dying. It’s one thing to know it and then another to actually see it play out

•Clint’s family dissolving? 😭😭 Yes, we knew it was gonna happen but watching it suuuucked

•Not showing the Aunt May/Peter reunion. She had to live 5 years without him after all.

•Not getting to see Carol and Nick interact or reunite.

•Not getting to see Maria’s reaction to Natasha’s death (I know there was only so much time and these reunions are just splitting hairs but I would have liked to see them)

•Not enough Pepperony!Parents scenes. (Again, splitting hairs here, lol)

Over all:

A++++++++

I didn’t go into this movie with expectations in case it was a disappointment. Needless to say it was NOT a disappointment in the least. It was a beautifully done film. The cinematography was stunning. I laughed, cheered, was kept in suspense and definitely cried. Which is not easy to get me to do. I will miss Tony and Pepperony every day but I also cannot wait to see Wanda get Vision back in their series. However that happens nor the Bucky/Sam team up. I think I hit all the major points (I hope). I intend to go see the movie again next week. The Russo Brothers did a wonderful job honoring 11 years worth of movies and the fans who have been here since 2008. A lot is storylines were paid off and the like. Just amazing. Thank you for reading this long word vomit.

[rqgnarok]

what remains; part ii - poe dameron

part i / part ii / part iii

character: poe dameron (star wars)

words: 1269

warning: angst. i know i promised a happy ending but this is kinda just a filler chapter so bear with me!

summary: the aftermath of what could’ve been.

author’s note below

The next few weeks are chaotic.

The whole base seems to fall out of rhythm after Poe and (Y/N)’s argument, and a dark atmosphere suddenly surrounds the members of the Resistance. Poe is still barely holding on while resting on the med bay, (Y/N) is refraining from visiting him at all, returning to her usual tasks and ignoring the worried glances sent her way that did not seem to cease.

Nobody dares to speak of it, but they all know the fall out had affected everyone on base, and things are close to completely falling apart. (Y/N) is succumbed into this self-centered routine in which she avoids everyone to stop them from trying to talk to her and have her burst into tears she has not yet shed. There is a breakdown due from her, but she refuses to cry for someone who doesn’t love her back, even if she still cares so much for him she might burst.

Meanwhile, Poe accepts visits from his friends, eats and drinks as recommended by the medical droid, but other than that, he is falling apart. He doesn’t dare to fall asleep, specially after the first night when nurses had to calm him down after waking up from a nightmare, screaming (Y/N)’s name like an unheard prayer. Every time he closes his eyes, Poe returns to the accident, and watches (Y/N) pass out helplessly under the weight of the X-Wing before falling into consciousness himself. The simple memory of it makes his fists clench and his heart race in the verge of a panic attack. He’s a mess, they both are.

Yet they refuse to even go near each other.

(Y/N) works, head down and earbuds at the maximum volume as she fixes a droid broken down on battle. She knows Finn has been carefully watching over her for at least an hour now, and the annoyance just becomes too great as she speaks out, not even looking up to acknowledge her friend. “Take a hologram, Finn, it’ll last longer.”

The heat rushes to the man’s face at being caught and lets out a weak stuttering ‘what’ in response. Bashful and somewhat defeated, he nears and sits on the table (Y/N) is working on, looking at her expectantly yet again and causing the woman to rip out one of her earbuds. Loud, angry music continues to blast from it. “What?”

“So,” his tone is light and slightly shaky, knowing that he’s either about to get the beating of his life or have her burst into tears. Finn fears both outcomes. “You know, he gets released from the medical bay today.”

“Okay,” she mumbles, trying to act indifferent but coming off more vulnerable that (Y/N) would’ve wanted. She shuffles in her seat and hopes for the conversation to be over, but Finn seems to have other plans.

“You gonna talk to him?” he bites his lip, expectant and eyeing his friend with a look (Y/N) wants to cower from, just like she’s escaped any kind of social interaction since Poe broke her heart three weeks back. “You know it’s bound to happen sooner or later.”

“Then let’s make that a later,” she deadpans back, trying to busy herself back into the pieces of machinery she knows could keep Poe away from her thoughts.

“El,” Finn pities, with a hand on her shoulder that makes her flinch. Her friend backs out a step but keeps looking at her with softened eyes that reminded her of a kindness she had missed for almost a month now. “He misses you.”

“You’re hilarious, Finn,” (Y/N) bites back, but turns away from him as she feels her throat tighten up with emotions she doesn’t want.

“I’m serious, (Y/N),” Finn releases a kid like whine from the back of his throat at his friend’s stubbornness. Maker, he complains silently, she’s just like Poe. “Poe’s barely keeping it together. He’s not sleeping-”

“I don’t care,” she insists, pretending that if she repeats it enough times, it will actually come true. Her voice struggles to maintain a tough façade, though she feels like Finn knows she’s lying her ass off. “I don’t care, remember? He- he told me to go, and I’m just- I… I’m listening to my best-”

A choked sob is all it takes for her to abruptly push herself from the table, looking at Finn with wide, saddened eyes one last time before she bolts. “I’m doing exactly as he asked.”

And she runs. Scoffs as Finn tries to call her back, to apologize or keep bugging her on, (Y/N) doesn’t care to know. She stares at the ground as she makes her way to her chamber, knocking into her friends’ shoulders as she passes by and struggling to maintain a somehow normal front like she’s done these past few days, but Finn’s mention of Poe has brought her world crashing down with such ease, even after she struggled so badly to keep it standing.

She’s so immersed in her own sorrow that she does not realize who’s the owner of the chest she’s knocked into now, their hands holding her tightly by her forearms to keep her upright and from falling. It is only when she lifts her eyes and catches sight of a necklace with a ring safely tucked on top of the person’s chest. Exactly like the ring Poe had gotten from her mother the day she died and kept safe on a lace around his neck.

“(Y/N),” her jaw clenches at the way Poe breathes out her name, like a gasp after drowning, relieved and husky in a way she usually loves. They lock stares, accidentally, and the expression that resembled confusion on Poe’s face falls into concern as he immediately recognizes the moisture on her bloodshot eyes as tears begging to fall. One of his hands goes to cup her face, and (Y/N) flinches. “Hey, what’s-”

“I’m sorry,” only after she leaves him standing dazed on the crowded hallway (Y/N) asks herself what the hell she’s sorry for. Poe, alone and as he leans against the wall trying to regain the breath he had lost after finally seeing (Y/N) again, cannot get the picture of her wrecked expression out of his mind. He doesn’t follow her, tough, leaving them both alone once again to pine for each other with a tugging like feeling on their broken hearts.

It is Leia who finally puts her foot down.

She spends days watching (Y/N) submit into her work and Poe sulk due the lack of it as he keeps his recovery going, with the support of his friends but missing (Y/N) by his side, by now completely aware that the apology she had babbled to him on the hallway was a product of his harsh words after he first woke up. Poe refuses to talk about it, though, and thanks to both their stubbornness, they had managed to find a schedule in which their paths never crossed.

The General could see the misery they both lived in without each other, so she convinced herself she was doing the right thing as she called (Y/N) and Poe into a council meeting, but instead of meeting a room full of politicians and galaxy’s legislatives they would be alone in the same room for the first time in almost a month.

(Y/N) frowns as she enters the meeting room, looking around to stupidly confirm she’s alone, and wonders if she got the hour or room wrong from the General’s debriefing message. She sighs, and it echoes for a couple of seconds before she turns back into the door, prepared to leave before she meets Poe’s eyes.

“(Y/N)?”

LMAO,YA’LL THOUGHT THIS WOULD BE HAPPY.

as i said yesterday, there are gonna be from three to four parts, and apparently i just turned into a series lol. so, it doesn’t have much poe in it BUT it was getting too long to only fit into a second part so here you go! ‘m not sure when the next part will be ready, expect it maybe for next week.

also, i’m tagging all those who asked for a second part + who voted on the ending, so i hope you like it! tell me what you think!

love,

-e. 

tags: @ilovecamus , @xenwayy , @localfatgirl , @star-arm-and-shield , @helluvapilotgriff , @i-said-goddameron , @sassy-satanunicorns , @areahdnee , @chloecat48 , @and-i-swear-we-are-infinte , @pinkdreamsandglitter

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #472

“we don’t deal with outsiders very well  /  they say newcomers have a certain smell”

Does your favorite uncle have any children? Yeah; he has one son and a daughter. If you want children, what are some of your reasons for wanting them? I don't. I'm selfish with my alone time, and I want to live for me. I don't want to essentially hand over my life for someone else, give my all for them, and then I wind up not being enough. I don't want the financial burden. I don't want to be responsible for another human being. There are so, so many reasons I don't want kids. Does a career in finance sound interesting to you? Noooot at all. When you cook a dish that has beans in it, do you prefer to use canned or dry beans? I don't cook, but you also wouldn't catch me dead cooking beans. After finishing a bowl of cereal, do you drink the leftover milk? No. What’s something that’s been bothering you lately? I've been pushing it to the back of my mind to avoid panicking, so I probably shouldn't even talk about it, but I worry quite a bit that Girt will eventually leave me because of me not being "adult" enough, like having a job, a car, knowing how to do basic adult stuff... you know. I don't feel like he will, given just how devoutly he's been by my side since HS, and especially now that we're together, I'm working harder towards those goals, but still. I worry it'll happen. Do you use dry shampoo between washes? No. What’s the most severe allergic reaction you’ve ever had to something? I've never had a severe one. What was the last show you binge-watched? Psych with Girt. I quite liked it. Have you ever lived with someone you didn’t get along with? No. What’s something that bothers you more and more as you get older? Political issues. Do you have a fitness tracker? No. Who was the last person to kiss you on the cheek? Girt. What is your favourite sauce to eat with spaghetti? Just your normal tomato sauce. Where do you usually sit when you eat dinner? ... In my bed. :x Do you think your ex ever loved you? Yes. Have you ever had a filling? For my teeth? Yes. Should tattoos be meaningful? Get a tattoo for whatever reason you please. It doesn't necessarily have to be meaningful, no. Do you think wisteria trees look cool? Get a wisteria tree. Do you like to eat strawberries? Get a strawberry. There doesn't need to be a big story. Do certain times of the year remind you of certain people? Yes. January is like... all about Jason in my head because within that month is his birthday and our former anniversary. Are there any negative points to being in a relationship? Uh, there's probably something. What the most recent good news you’ve heard? Just today actually I got a phone call about some genetic testing I had done to see if I carried the malfunctioning gene my mother has that makes her more prone to certain types of cancer. My sisters and I all got tested, and all three of us are good! Our pancreatic, breast, and ovarian cancer risks are the same as your average person walking down the street. Would you hug your bf/gf’s best friend? I don't know his best friend. I don't think I would upon just meeting him, though. Who was the last person in your family to have a baby? My older sister. Would your parents be okay with you dating someone of another race? Mom wouldn't care less, while I don't really know about my dad. Not that it would matter what he thought. Do you like when friends stop by unexpectedly? NO NO NO NO NEVER DO THIS. I have to be mentally prepared for company. How strong are your feelings for the last person you kissed? I really, really love him. It's funny how wildly my emotions flipped from platonic to romantic with him just by giving it some deep thought. How close are you to the last person you hung out with? Can you be your complete self around them? We're very close, and yes. I'm still extremely shy for him to know some things, but ultimately, I'd tell him a whole lot. Is music a daily part of your life? Usually, anyway. Did you go to your high school’s graduation? Yes. Did you do anything sexual last night? Naw. Do you think the last person you Facebook messaged is a virgin? Doubt it, he's been in at least one serious relationship before. Ever want a monkey as a pet? I would absolutely fucking never, even if it was moral and possible to give them all they need as a pet. I've never been that into monkeys, anyway. What’s the scariest bug you’ve ever seen? I've seen a massive stag beetle at least once and it was such a fuck no. Do you think it’s alright if people baby talk to babies? Yes...? They're unfamiliar with the world and need gentleness to establish trust and a positive bond in general. There is nothing wrong with treating babies like, well, babies. Ever take a nap in a hammock? I don't believe I've ever fallen asleep in one, but I definitely used to just chill out and close my eyes on the one we used to have at my old place, under the shade of the trees. Who’s the best character in Rugrats? I don't have an opinion on this, surprisingly. I adored that show as a kid and had two video games for it. Pop-Tarts or Toaster Struddels? The latter. But both are tasty. Ever want to make out with someone, anyone, didn’t matter who? Er, no. I have to love you. Smack someone on the ass lately? This question is worded so uncomfortably lmao but no. Someone smack your ass lately? Still an uncomfortable question but no. Do you like puppies more than adult dogs? They're cute, but no. Adult dogs are generally calmer and actually know where to use the bathroom. If you go grey as you age, would you dye your hair or let it be? I plan on dyeing my hair for a loooong time if it's something extra I can afford. Is there a historical figure you find interesting? If so, who? The first person who came to mind was Pharaoh Hatshepsut. Girl power, man. Was there a family secret you weren’t told about until you were an adult? I guess maybe my dad having done serious drugs for a while. I don't know if anyone would've told me that as a kid. Have you ever seriously vandalized someone else’s property? I've never vandalized, period. What do you usually order from Olive Garden? SPICY SHRIMP FRITAAAAAAAAASSSSSSS <3 What is in the back seat of your car right now? I have no idea what's in the back of Mom's car, actually. I don't pay attention. What was the last thing you threw up? I'd assume whatever I had for dinner with the medication that made me vomit. What color is your mom’s hair? Since chemo, it was growing back completely gray, so now she dyes it black. If you were to join one of the armed forces, which would it be? Yeah, no. Not even entertaining this. I'd rather die. If you swapped genders for a day, how would you spend it? Ha, it's weird, the first thing that came to mind was "how would I look in makeup?" because men in makeup can look like fuckin babes so I guess that's what I'm doing lmaooo. Have you ever been to see stand-up comedy? No, but I would. I think it sounds fun. Have you ever been in a submarine? No, but that'd be cool. Do you believe there used to be dragons? No. I wish. Where did you go on your first ride on an airplane? Ohio. Have you ever appeared on YouTube? lkajsd;lkfjae yes Have you ever planted a tree? An apple tree, yes. Which celebrity do you find the most annoying? I don't care. Does your best girlfriend have any talents that you don’t? She can animate pretty darn well! Have you ever written a song? Guys when I was a little kid I wrote a song to the Nintendogs theme fucking kill me Does anybody send you money in the mail for your birthday? My grampa on Dad's side used to, but he's deceased now. He would do that for me and my sisters, and I always thought it was so wild, because it was like, a lot, and this man barely knew us at all because of how far away my dad's family is. Do you have any scratches on your cell phone? No. Do you know anybody who has a birthday in November? I mean I'm sure I do, but no one off the top of my head that I know well, anyway. What monster would you be most afraid to have in your closet? Ghostface bc I've been afraid of him since I was a kid, and I HATE knives. Which Adam Sandler movie do you like the most? I don't know if I have a favorite. He's also just in so many movies though that I could never think of all of them. Have you ever been abused by a police officer? Yikes, no. Do you know anyone who is very ignorant? Boy, do I. I know plenty. When was the last time someone said something mean and offensive to you? I don't know, and I'd rather not try to remember. Would you ever film a vlog of yourself giving birth? ?????????????????????????? NO????????????????????????? WHY WOULD I WANT THAT????????????????????????????????? Do you think your hair looks best straight, wavy, or curly? Straight. Name 3 YouTubers you would like to meet in person: Markiplier obvs, Rhett & Link are a pair channel, so I count them as one unit, and uhhh just one more... Snake Discovery/Emily & Ed. I could hang with them, man. What makes you more creative? Music. Have you ever slow danced with anyone? Yeah, one person. Who’s the last person to send you a message on Facebook? My sister Misty. She's making me this really cool Halloween-y wreath to keep on my door year-round. She's really good with crafts and is making some beautiful ones. What’s the last magical thing you experienced? I'd rather keep it private, but the general gist is just realizing how much I love someone again. Were you raised religious? Yes. Didn't stick. Never felt "right" or "at home" in any religion. If you had a lot of money, do you think you would use it wisely? I hope I would. I feel like growing up poor, it could go either way. I do THINK I'd use it pretty wisely, at least. Maybe go a bit too hard into things I seriously love (like tattoos), but then be really stingy in other areas. Do you like the same colors now that you did as a kid? In general, yes. My favorites are still all shades and tints of red. Got any nicknames that you rarely even use? Not nicknames I use nowadays, no. Nevermind what gender you ARE, what gender do you WANT to be? I’m fine being female. Do you ever feel ashamed revealing your age? Absolutely, because of how little I've accomplished. Based on your running speed, what animal would you be? Like, a tortoise probs. :^) Can you read in public? Only if it's quiet. Pokemon, Digimon, GI JOE, Barbies, or other? Pokemon, duh. What’s something that makes you really stressed out? Not having a job, to name one thing. Are you any good at science? I've always been really good at (most) science, actually. Like language arts, it's just something that naturally "clicks" for me. Do you go on any forums on the net? Just KM right now. Got any secrets you honestly can’t say to anyone? It's not that I can't, like I don't have any deep, dark secrets that would rock someone's world if they knew, there are just things I'm never sharing. Believe in voodoo? Nah. What’s something you’ve tried really hard at? To be a decently successful photographer, but let's not get me started on that travesty. :^)

[polyx]

Get to know me tag:^)

I was tagged by @criminalmastermine

Name:

Polyxeni

Gender:

Female

Star sign:

Virgo/Sheep

Height:

170 cm

Put your music on shuffle, what are the first six songs to pop up?:

Ok because I listen on Soundcloud, Spotify and my folders on my phone, I’ll do 3 separate :^) Spotify 1) VIXX LR – Chocolatier 2) BTS – Lost 3) MOBB – Hit me (feat. KUSH) 4) Taemin – Thirsty 5) VIXX – Dynamite 6) BTS – Moving on (Ok it’s pretty obvious that I use Spotify mostly for k-pop lol)

Soundcloud 1) Sunday – Only 2) Sofi Tukker – Hey Lion 3) マクロスMACROSS 82 - 99 - 葛城 ミサトYEBISU (YUNG BAE EDIT) 4) Vantage // - Patrick Converter (ft. Chrollo)

5) M.RUX - Rembetiko Mon Amour // ρεμπέτικο αγάπη μου 6) Seiun – otogibanashi My folders on my phone 1) Lorde – Liability 2) Clueso - Achterbahn (Handgepäck Version) 3) Incubus – Pistola 4) Lana Del Rey – Once Upon A Dream (Maleficent OST) 5) Little Boots – Working Girl 6) Banks - Haunt

Grab the nearest book, turn to page 23 and write line 17:

“(…) because “a realisation that comes from society itself” could “already contain a reform (…)“. (roughly translated from German)

Last time you played air guitar?:

Uhm… I don’t know ^^° I rarely do it tbh… I usually dance

Celebrity crush?: The first person that comes into my mind is Lucy Lawless :^)

What’s a sound that you hate/love?:

I love it when it’s 4 in the morning and my window next to my bed is open, and the rain softly hits the glass and no car drives by, or when you sit by the beach at about 7pm in Greece in the summer, when most people had their share of sun and leave the beach, and the water softly hits the shore and a seagull are audible somewhere in the distance, or when you float in the water and your ears are under the water and  you hear the water and your heartbeat… also the soft flat breathing of the person laying next to you, or the rustling of the fabric of your bedding when you lay down to sleep… Idk I like a lot of subtle sounds. I hate hearing my joints cracking because I feel like I am breaking apart or something (?)

Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?:

Ghosts not so much, aliens? Definitely.

Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?:

I’ve had my licence for 5 years now and I never crashed :3 I don’t drive much though.

What was the last book you read?:

Simon Beckett – Totanfang / The Restless Dead (original title)

Do you like the smell of gasoline?:

Hm… kinda.

Last movie you saw?:

Fack Ju Göhte 3

Worst injury you’ve ever had?:

Broke my left arm.

Any obsessions right now?: A lot, although I should focus on studying: k-pop (like the biggest obsession atm), writing/reading fanfiction, drawing (my go to instant stress reliever), gaming (I still need to finish Hellblade!!), music overall, manga, my succulents (my babies)

Do you tend to hold grudges against people who’ve wronged you?: Yes. I try to forgive or forget (or both) for my sake, but often it doesn’t work.  

In a relationship?:

Yes.

_______________

SECOND VERSION

Appearance:

I have long brown and blue hair, brown eyes and a long thin nose. My face is quite rectangular, and I have olive skin tone (but pretty light compared to others). I am chubby and well-proportioned I’d say. My nails are always short (except for holiday season because my nails won’t constantly break like during work) and usually some kind of varnish is on it. 50% of the time I wear clothes with some kind of pattern on it or colourful stuff, 25% of the time black and 25% pink shit, and always my casio on my wrist. I have 2 tattoos and 4 piercings, one stretched earlobe. Usually I wear make-up, and everyone knows me for wearing colourful eyeshadow.

Personality:

I am quite outgoing and like spending time with my friends and family and partner, but as much as I love having people around me, I need time to be alone. I just need to. I try to have an open ear for other people’s problems, but be prepared I might cry along with you because I am a very emotional person (like on Friday I was in a concert and started crying because the song was so touching lol). I’d say I am quite confident, but I need time adjusting in a new environment before returning to my confident self. At work I am the most patient person, but with my family I tend to be impatient a lot and I hate myself for it, but it’s getting better. I am very creative and love dwelling on details on random stuff (like I could tell you for an hour why I like a particular song for example). That’s also a reason why I can’t get shit done sometimes because I daydream a lot. Like… a lot… one person told me I remind them of Luna Lovegood because I seem trapped in my own bubble. I love arts. I used to be super tidy as a child, but now I am quite messy. I am often late (sorry to anyone affected by this v.v°). I love travelling. My bag is always ready for my nomad life, as I am always on the go.

Abilities:

I speak 3 languages! Also I draw and make jewellery. Also I have the ability to make a mess out of my room in the shortest amount of time, just watch me :^) professionally I am a druggist (but not the one working at a pharmacy, mind you) and I have a bachelors degree of trade and commerce. Also I’m a certified trainee instructor.

Experiences:

Well? I don’t know what this refers too… Maybe some random shit: -I used to do traditional greek dance as a kid. -I’ve never left Europe (sadly), but I’ve travelled to London, Vienna, Paris, Berlin and other cities. -When I was a smoll bean, I went to the central plaza of my dad’s village in Greece and returned with a puppy in my arms. My grandmother kept the pupper. -I love freaking LOVE technology, when I used my huge ass multitalented wireless printer for the first time and printed something via my phone I almost cried in excitement. -I can stop reading a book if it’s boring. -Once on my way home I sat in the tram, and there was a group of friends, drunk, pretty loud and happy, they were wearing traditional Bavarian clothing (Tracht), and they were …deaf! And one of the girls sat opposite to me, and complimented my hair, like we talked without using words, only by using our facial expressions and our hands, and she grabbed on piece of her hair and pointed at mine and we laughed, and then she offered me some of her vodka and I was so yolo at the moment I accepted, although I don’t accept drinks from strangers usually. I had such a blast these 10 minutes we spent together on the tram, I often think about her, and hope she is doing fine :’) - I remember as a young girl, I was sitting on an old faucet which was built in the short wall framing my grandparents’ house, and I was starring at the sky in disbelief. There I was, a young city girl, born and raised in Munich, sitting on an old faucet somewhere in an small village in Greece starring at the beautiful nightsky, seeing something I’ve never seen before. There were so many stars, just…so… so many stars… thousands and thousands of shiny dots across a black canvas. And they seemed to be alive. I couldn’t believe my eyes. Till this day, I remember this night, and I hear my mom asking what I was doing out there alone, surrounded by the wild noises of thousands of bugs around me. It has been more that 10 years, and this night is so vibrant in my memory. I will never forget this moment till my dying day. Still, I often spent time in Greece watching the stars, always in the back of my mind what my grandma told me once: don’t count the stars, it brings misfortune. - I pierced my ears on my own (…stupid). - I pretty much had my hair dyed any colour of the rainbow (except yellow, but I guess blonde counts?). - I’ve been to A LOT of concerts.

(I have some negative experiences too of course, but I don’t want to dwell on them) My life:

I still live with my parents, because I cannot afford anything on my own atm, but also due to other circumstances. Till the end of September I worked full time, now I started studying sociology (BA). I have been employed in the company I work for for 10 years now, and I love my work although it’s tough :’). I have a little sister who I love dearly, and she is making me a proud big sis:). My parents are the best parents, seriously you could not wish for better parents. I am super grateful to them for all I’ve been able to do in my life and all the love and support they have given, and are still giving me. Also, I’m so proud of them. The thought of what my parents have gone through makes me cry. I used to think I don’t have a lot of friends, but I do! And they all are beautiful unique personalities, I love them! I live the nomad live, as I feel I’m rarely home, always on the go. My co-workers are the sweetest people, I love seeing their faces light up when they see me :’) (ILY!!!) And my partner… there are no words to describe what sweet of a person he is. A puppy is nothing against him. I want to cuddle him forever. I am online a lot, but I don’t get involved with a lot of people online, safe for… 2 :’D Rach and Mine! I usually admire from afar, and fangirl in the tags for example. Overall I wake up everyday being thankful, my life is good! I appreciate every moment. I am blessed.

Relationships: I’ve only had 2 lmao, and I’m still friends with my first partner. Random stuff:

Ups I think I answered this earlier already…

THIRD VERSION

Relationship status:

In a relationship. We have an imaginary daughter lol.

Fave colour:

All hues of blue! Basically every colour but blue is the most dear to me.

Lipstick or ChapStick:

Lipstick for sure. I always have one in my pocket.

Last song:

Shahmaran by Sevdaliza

Last movie:

Fack Ju Göhte 3

Top 3 shows:

I don’t watch TV, neither do I have the time for series (I have GOT on halt, as well as “Halt and Catch Fire”) … But “The Vision of Escaflowne” is my favourite series of EVER. The story, the characters, the music, the art, the world building, I could cry it’s so beautiful. Also the whole ATLA and TLOK Series, it is so good!!! *cries*

Top 3 ships:

Oh man… ok. I’ll go for Amorra (Amon and Korra, TLOK), Truhan ( Gohan and Trunks, Dragonball Z) and basically every possible VIXX ship, because I love them all (but Wontaek though…)

I’d like to tag @valkerymillenia, @abnaxus, @coolera but you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to :’)