#but i have audhd so there's a decent chance it does

[gremlinghost]

In school I did this thing where I put as much effort as I could into assignments when I had the energy, so that later in the term, if I really didn't want to do something, I didn't have to. Taking a 0 wouldn't hurt my grade enough to matter. Like, in my senior year economics class, I would do a retake on any test I didn't get an A on at the beginning of the semester, but I only did like half of the homework. I got a B in that class.

It's all about spoon theory to me, as a term went on, I knew that the amount of spoons I had decreased every day. If I can afford the spoons to go in for a retake at the moment, there is literally no reason not to in my mind. It means I'm preserving my future spoons. I can afford to use less spoons at the end of a term because I invested spoons at the beginning, which in turn means I just have more free spoons. Even if I only end up saving one spoon in the future when I spend 3 spoons to do better in a class, I still think it was totally worth it. If I wake up with 50 spoons, spending 3 spoons is a much smaller deal than spending 1 spoon when I woke up with 10.

I know it's hard for a lot of people, including myself sometimes, but you have to think about the future when you choose not to do something. It's annoying at the time, but I have been so eternally grateful to my past self for just doing the extra little things so that I don't have to do something else.

[motorcide]

MAKING AN INTRO POST YAY

HAI GAIZ IT'S THE TERRIBLE LITTLE CREATURE KNOWN AS MOTORMOUTH,, INTRODUCTION/MOOT HUNTING POST SO YEAH YIPPEE HURRAY

I GO BY LIKE EIGHT BILLION NAMES (MAINS LISTED BELOW LUL) SO FOR CONVENIENCE YOU CAN TOTALLY JUST CALL ME MOTORMOUTH, THAT SAID, ANY OF THE FOLLOWING WORK:

- MORGAN

- KENNY

- LAIKA

- MURIDAE/MURRAY

- JUNO

- RAMONE

PRONOUNS R SLIGHTLY MORE SIMPLE, I USE HE/HIM, SHE/HER, ZE/HIR, OR IT/ITS MAINLY, BUT I DON'T ACTUALLY CARE THAT MUCH

I'M PROBABLY OTHERKIN??? I DONT HAVE A CLEAR LIST OF EXACTLY WHAT YET BUT I KNOW IM LIKE. BOTH DOG AND ALIEN ADJACENT. SO DO WITH THAT WHAT YOU WILL.

MAIN INTERESTS ARE CURRENTLY CHARACTER DESIGN, AMERICAN SERIAL KILLERS, JOKER 2019*, INVADER ZIM, AND DIYING ANYTHING I CAN GET MY GRUBBY HANDS ON

*joker 2019 is my special interest, i will happily yap about it to anyone who's interested

THIS BLOG WILL MAINLY CONSIST OF PATCH STENCILS I'VE MADE, MY ART, RAMBLINGS, DIYS OF MINE, AND MY WRITING, ALL OF WHICH ARE SORTED BY TAGS (motordraws, motortalks, motormakes, motorwrites)

I WRITE FANFICTION!!! I CURRENTLY HAVE A LOT OF FREE TIME SO IF YOU WANT SOME DECENT QUALITY INVADER ZIM ARTHUR FLECK FANFICTION HMU, I WRITE BASICALLY ANYTHING :33

DNI IS PRETTY BASIC, NAZIS, COP SUPPORTERS, RACISTS, QUEERPHOBES OF ANY KIND, ZIONISTS, ABLEISTS, PEOPLE WHO BELIEVE IN 'NARCISSIST ABUSE', ENDO SYSTEMS/ENDO SYSTEM TRUTHERS, ANTI-NEOPRONOUNS/XENOGENDERS, ANTI-OTHERKIN/THERIANS, GTFO

BYF I AM A DIAGNOSED AUDHD NPD OCD EXTRAORDINAIRE!! THIS DOES IN FACT AFFECT THE WAY I BEHAVE, SO ALTHOUGH I WILL TRY TO BE QUICK WITH RESPONDING TO REQUESTS, DMS, OR ETC, IT CAN SOMETIMES TAKE ME TIME!! PLZ LMK IF I'VE DONE SMTH WRONG, I WOULD ALWAYS RATHER LEARN THAN NOT, AND I APPRECIATE TONE TAGS WHEN THERES ANY CHANCE OF MISCOMMUNICATION!!

ALWAYS OPEN TO MUTUALS, COMMS, OR ART TRADES!! I LUV TALKING TO STRANGERS ON THA INTERNET

[babyspacebatclone]

I love getting likes.

Sometimes Tumblr feels like screaming into the void. Now, that’s the platform, I know what I sign up for when I put something out here. What clicks with people and what doesn’t is more random chance than actual content.

But I’m AuDHD, and Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria does not care about logic and knowledge and the reality of the Hellsite.

Likes let me know people have seen my post, because otherwise I literally don’t know.

Opening up Tumblr and seeing even 10 notifications after a few hours reassures me - that I am heard, that I am seen, that the gnawing fear inside my brain is false misfiring of neurons and not reality.

And when people doomscroll my tags? When I get a dozen likes on year+ old posts????

I get to read stuff so old I literally have forgotten writing it. It’s new to me, old opinions and analysis, stuff I see as fresh and wow, this was good? There are decent points and it resonated with someone???

Likes mean less than reblogs, because reblogs are the means by which my post gets seen by people outside my circle. Reblogs are the measure of the random chance of engagement of Tumblr.

Yes, reblog what you want to share with people.

Empty Reblogs > Like

But likes? Likes still communicate with me. Likes let me know I have been seen, even if you yourself don’t have the mental energy to pass it on.

I respect that. I want you to spend your mental energy how you need to; stars above, there are periods where I don’t have the capacity to even commit to a reblog.

It happens, especially on Tumblr, where you’re assumed traumatized/neurodivergent/anxious until proven otherwise. (in the “welcome to the community, we get you” sense)

Likes don’t affect an “algorithm.���

As said by OP, likes give me serotonin, and I need ever dose I can get!

I have had it with this likescolding. “Tumblr doesn’t have an algorithm so likes don’t actually do anything” motherfucker I am not clicking that heart to give some post better ~algorithmic visibility~ I am clicking that heart to help my internet friend microdose on serotonin as god fucking intended