#but i guess thats what happens when socializing in groups is hard AND some of the people around me put so much into it

[marsixm]

i had a mini dnd session the other day to do backstory planning and learn more about how my abilities work bc im too neurodivergent and a minor to even handle playing dnd most of the time. anyway i teleported a dude into a pocket dimension to secretly kill him so i think i figured out how to do shit

[burn-before-reading]

Love in the Time of Socialism

joost klein x artist!reader

art, mush, and ramblings about life

warnings: depression (ish), burnout, reader character in some vague mental health funk

word count: 2k

a/n: slight prequel to blue is the colour of your eyes but can be read as stand alone. just same artist reader. vaguely romantic but just ramblings and getting feelings out haha. started this when I was in more of a bad mental state (lol) but im fine now so it got kinda tame by the end of it. still not proofreading anything

title from the song Love in the Time of Socialism by Yellow House

Rpf below the cut—

Normally Joost has to call you because its the only way you will actually look at your phone. Its more often that not you find yourself fixated on planning out your next project, and your friends have to force you back into reality. There was that one time no one had heard from you in over a week and thought you were dead, when you were just working. You hadn’t realized how many texts you missed and apologized for scaring your friends half to death. Especially Joost.

So now you leave your ringer on, and now they call.

Tonight, however, Joost calls and you aren’t in your studio. You are in your bed, where you have been for the entire day. and also most of yesterday. There isn’t a reason in your head specifically why this has happened. you MEANT to get up. Theres a list of chores and things to do just sitting on your desk, but you woke up late, so now nothing will get done. At some point it just became too stressful to even get up and look at it. You roll over and stare at the contact picture of him, smiling with some dumb fish eye lens he thought was funny. You debate not picking up at all.

But you can’t ignore him.

“Hi Joost.” your voice came through the phone more hoarse than intended when you answered, you don’t remember the last time you talked to someone. “Whats going on?”

“the others wanted to go out for drinks tonight, you hadn’t responded so I wanted to check you were joining us.” You could imagine him rocking back and forth on his heels in the middle of his living room while he talked, it was either that or pacing around.

“uhh..” Drinks at a bar was the last thing on your mind. In any other situation you would have loved to be around your friends, but right now you just needed to avoided as much as possible. “Not a good night, tonight. Sorry, I’ll have to join you guys next time.”

Joost felt like something was off, you sounded tired. “Is everything okay?”

“I’ll be fine I just… shit brain day. bad brain thats all. It happens.” You did your best to summarize how you felt without actually admitting anything, you weren’t sure how to explain anything anyway.

“ Oh Im sorry, would it be good, if I came over? I can keep you company, if thats okay?”

“you don’t have to, I’ll be fine tomorrow. I want you to have fun. ” you insisted, but he pressed on.

“I don’t mind, the group would understand. Have you eaten today?”

“Like… a meal? yes, or well, no. I had a soda..” You glance at the half drunk soda from the night before, now flat. “and uhhh..”

“I’ll pick something up.” You could hear him on the other end gathering things together, keys, wallet, probably his ipad.

“.. thank you. I’ll see you in a bit, I guess.”

-

Joost knocked on your door about an hour later. In that time you were able to get out of bed and make your way to the bathroom to change and make yourself somewhat presentable in front of a guest, and to the kitchen to make coffee despite it being 8pm.

You opened it to see Joost with a sheepish smile as he extends his arms out for a hug. “Hi.”

“Hi Joost.” you take the step to hug him, feeling his body heat contrast with the cold nighttime. “I’m glad you’re here.” the two of you head inside to your living room where he empties his bag of take out to reveal a couple different thai dishes and egg rolls. It was hard to not admit you weren’t at least a little bit hungry.

The two of you ate in mostly silence, making small talk about different projects you two have going on, or the fact that the two of you were in between projects. He done with touring for the time being and in the process of working on a new album. You loosely avoiding talking about any current work plans but mentioned one or two paintings you finished for a private gallery commission last month.

“ Just some paintings of animals and nature-ish symbolism. Honestly my heart wasn’t really in that one, but it payed the rent so.” you shrug and shove noodles into your mouth.

“Well now you have the time to work on your own stuff, right?” he commented, leaning back into your couch and looking down at you sitting on the floor instead of any of your own furniture. “Draw whatever your heart desires.”

“I mean I guess.. Im just glad to be done with the oil paints for now. I swear i think I was gonna die in my studio from all the chemicals. I dunno, I finished that whole project last month, I haven’t really been very productive since then.” you trail off and Joost gets a concerned expression on his face.

He sinks down from his spot of the couch to join you in the floor. The fluffy rug brushing against his legs as he adjusts his new sitting position.

“Its okay to take a break, you know.”

“I know I know, I just get frustrated. I never seem to have my energy directed towards the right thing. Whenever I have all those big projects from other contractors, I can brainstorm and think of all these interesting ideas I wanna work on, but I can’t because then I would get behind on the art Im being paid to do.”

“mhm.” he nods, to indicate he’s following along.

“ And then whenever Im done with those projects, I just get… tired. and my focus is gone. and Everything just feels…” you gesture the last bit with your hands, scrambling your fingers, to imply your thoughts. You aren’t looking at him, but you can still see him nodding in your peripherals. Joost always seemed to understand your thinking and explanations to things, even if you thought they were messy.

“Do you want to try painting right now?” he asks. you just shrug your shoulders.

“I don’t know what I would paint.”

“You can paint our dinner, or, or yourself, or your plants maybe?” he suggested and stands up. “Can I paint too?”

“Oh we’re actually doing this?” Not that you didn’t want to, but this self doubt had creeped into your mind again. That failing to produce something decent would prove that you’ve lost all your talent, your skill.

“yea we can have a little painting party!” he chimed, but he hesitated walking over to your studio to grab stuff, still giving you the space to reject his idea.

you looked away and started nervously tapping your fork against the table.

tap tap tap tap

“…sure. We can use my watercolors, Ive been wanting to use them more often anyway.”

the coffee table became a little more cluttered as you set up the paints for the two of you. Joost using an old set 24 pans and you using a newer set of watercolor tubes you were gifted last year and never opened. You watched as Joost immediately dipped his brush in water and started activating the blue paints, spreading it onto his paper in big random strokes.

“what are you painting?”

“not sure yet, maybe im painting you.” he looks up and smirks. you scrunch your nose up.

“why are you using so much blue. am I a smurf?” you joke and he just shrugs and points to your own paper.

“Just mess around, can’t be any worse than what im doing.”

tap tap tap tap tap tap

you fidget with your own brush for a few seconds lo get before grabbing a big mop brush and wetting your paper with clean water. Taking your smaller brush again, you pour out a small amount of yellow and mix it up with some more water. You hesitate for a moment longer before letting the brush lightly touch the surface, creating a burst of colour on the paper as the colour seeps onto the page. You make a few more random marks before switching to another warm colour and repeating the process, now watching the colours bleeds and mix into each other. You look at Joost paper and see that he is actually now trying to paint you, the blue fortunately was able to be mostly contained to the background.

“Do you ever think about what you would do if you weren’t a musician?” you ask.

“I dunno I think after this I could have a pretty successful art career.” he teases but sees in your face the question is more serious. “I don’t know. I started off with youtube, but if I wasn’t doing that… its hard to think about what my life would be like if I didn’t follow this path.”

“I always have this feeling deep down, that I made a wrong choice somewhere along the line. I was thinking about going to school for psychology, I also wanted to work with animals at one point, be a vet. I enjoy art, don’t get me wrong, but I just worry that in making it my job Ive just drained all the passion I had for it.”

You let the paper dry before staining the page with lines of dark burgundy, creating hands and a human heart. he hums as he listens, not adding anything, but simply letting you vent. beginning to piece together your mood from earlier. “I don’t have any jobs lined up right now, which is what Ive been waiting for, to work on my own stuff, yknow? I haven’t had the time ive wanted to make something for myself for a while. But now I just feel, I feel like ive been frozen.”

“things seem to be okay right now. I like what youve made. ” you look down and see the scribbles youve made with your paint. hands clasped over a broken heart. you shrug and smile softly, signing the bottom.

“Just a scribble, you can have it if you want.” You hand the paper over to him. “thank you for coming by, its… its nice being around you. Helps a bit.”

Joost takes the paper and studies it for a second. “I really like it, maybe I should come by more often.”

“If you bring the food we can have art nights whenever you want.” he holds up his paper. The blue bleeding into your skintone and hair since he didn’t wait for anything to properly dry. “I might stick to my ipad though, I don’t know why you like this paint.” he scrunches his nose at it. you laugh and it makes him smile.

You notice for the first time how bright his eyes look when he smiles, but you brush the thought away.

-

“Feeling a bit better?” he asks as he lingers by the door on his way out.

“a bit. like I said It was just a mood, I was gonna be fine tomorrow most likely… I still appreciate you coming over.”

“Don’t ever be afraid to call or text okay? Im always here to talk if you need. or just to listen.”

“definitely. Ive been meaning to uh, talk to someone about all this stuff anyway, you’re not a professional but ill keep it in mind.”

he grins and goes in for one last hug. you feel him slightly squeeze you and linger a little longer than usual before letting go. With one last glance he waves and head off. You see him pull out a cigarette for the walk back. It takes you a second to close the door. standing there watching him walk off until he turns a corner and disappears. Closing the door you sigh and go the clean up your living room.

You notice he left the portrait he drew of you. signed at the bottom with a smiley face next to his name.

It gets hung up in your studio above your desk.

[hydrogenandhelium]

I’m looking for a fantasy writing group. Discord based is great! I’ve never been in one before and online seems a great way to try it out. But if anyone knows about a group local to the SE Houston suburbs (Webster/Friendswood/Clearlake or surrounding areas) PLEASE let me know! Drop it in my DMs or an ask (which I won’t post) if you don’t want it posted up publicly. I can’t promise I’m good at storytelling but I do understand story structure and am decent with grammar so my work (hopefully) isn’t painful to read.

The book I’m working on is a fantasy with a hard magic system, and the story aims to explore ideas around consent—namely who can give it and the consequences of imbalances caused by social power dynamics. That means that my work will come with trigger warnings. There is absolutely no gratuitous SA (it gives me major ick to read it, no way I could write it), but even still I’d need a group where I’d have a space to share some SA and SA-adjacent writing (sex where consent can’t truly be given, and one scene with “normal” violence as a result of saying no, all shared with appropriate warnings ofc) and get honest feedback. If you happen to know of a good group I’d love an invite!

Below the cut is a few things I’d really like to put into the void so I don’t feel like I’m the only one carrying them:

I asked for a raise today at work. I’ve never asked for a raise at a “big kid” job before today so I was anxious as FUCK. I really do deserve it though, I’ve taken on a lot of extra work (I probably should do a post about my job sometime, it’s super cool, I’m a space microbiologist) and my direct supervisor is supporting my request. I asked high, but I’m sure I’ll get a bump even if it’s not what I asked for. I’ll update with the results if anyone seems invested (or honestly even if I just feel like it)

Moving far away from home in your 30s is tough. It’s hard to find new friends when almost everyone you know has families and that’s just not your jam. Like I have friends at work and we goof off and have fun and go for lunch and talk about real life too, but then I come home and every night and all weekend it’s just me by myself. I have made one friend here outside of work but that situation is a little complicated right now and it’s forcing me to realize I should broaden my social circle. Thats partly why with the writing group. I need some motivation to keep writing and I’d love the opportunity to meet new people and maybe not feel so isolated. I mean I’m still in regular contact with some of my friends back home. I don’t feel like no one cares about me, I just feel like I’m not getting enough in-person socializing. It’s weird being an introvert and realizing that even though social interaction is exhausting, it’s still pretty damn essential for my mental health.

I dunno. Any potential interest in hearing about the book I’m working on? I guess I could post the blurb from my NaNoWriMo page. I have the main plot written and am working on the B and C story scenes now. Probably at least 60% through draft 1.

[keefwho]

March 14 - 2024 Thursday

11:35pm

4/10

This morning I was late to cleaning because I had to use the bathroom. But I had time to wipe down my sink and toilet. For breakfast I made eggs, spam, and oatmeal. I just need to finish my eggs since they are getting close to their best by date and I don't have much to pair them with.

I didn't stream today. I decided to try and focus on the art in an attempt to maybe recapture some of the meaning behind it. I might do this tomorrow too depending on how I feel. Instead I asked Daisy if she wanted to do a watchtogether while we worked so we did that. She shared about 2.5 hours of amusement park rides podcast which was an interesting listen. I really wasn't proud of the work I did on today's commission but it came out okay. I just wish I'd done better. Before lunch I took some 'time to myself' and then chilled for just a tiny bit. For lunch I made awful off brand spaghettios and doritos. I joined Turkey in desktop VR for company. She was helping this guy play blindfold chess. She asked me how I was doing (thank god) and I told her it was a rough day so she offered to talk about it with me after the chess game. We went to her homeworld with another friend and I kinda just unloaded for an hour. I felt a little bit because it did turn into me therapy time basically and I wasn't even coordinated with what I was saying, I was just rambling. But they both seemed here for it and gave some good advice. I can't even say it made me feel better though, not this time. What actually made me feel better was when we started talking about other stuff and having good back and forth conversation. I guess thats all I wanted, some good talking as opposed to talking about myself. I did today's request while this happened which I also wasn't proud of. We hopped worlds to the library I'm going to use for group reading therapy to check it out and I think it's a decent place as any to try holding it in. We all got off when Turkey had to leave, she's sort of the social glue for us. I also just wanted to get off and decompress a little. I skipped optional work today for this which I don't regret. I spent the rest of my evening watching Squeex and perusing the internet trying to have no active brain time. I tried hopping on Boodle in VRchat briefly but I was in desktop and didn't have much social energy. Eventually Daisy got in bed so we called and did puzzles, she read me 2 Monster High chapters, and I played Kingdom Hearts. Her shitty book app wasn't letting her load her book so I had to find a PDF. We went way overtime with KH2 but it was fun, I don't regret it.

~~~

Today wasn't so great. Most of today felt pretty lonely due to my usual feelings of loneliness. I was not driven in my work like I wished I was. Right now I want to figure out a motivation to draw again. I want it to feel exciting again. I know there has to be something here I enjoy. Ive just lost touch with it, or maybe I'm trying too hard to stick with old habits.

3 things I liked about today:

Chatting with Turkey and friends.

Relaxing with Squeex stream.

Bedtime activities with Daisy.

[3liza]

talking about flters and real beauty vs fake beauty and cultural standards etc always makes me think about all the victorian and edwardian novels i read, where the things that people thought about beauty were recorded at length. recently ive been reading a lot of Thomas Hardy (best known for Tess of the D’Urbervilles and Jude the Obscure) and there’s so much discussion of the beauty of people, particularly love interests, both men and women. and these writers, and their eras, and the culture of the eras, was of course obsessed with beauty and youth and also artificial beauty (being the eras of the really transformative corsets, not to mention some of the earliest industrialized or modernized beauty products or processes), as all human societies are to a greater or lesser extent in their own ways, but the thing that sticks out to me in reading these books is how beauty is not the singular or even the most important aspect of a person’s overall attraction. if someone has a beautiful face or figure, it is mentioned, but never to the obsessive, fixated extent that physical beauty is isolated from and elevated over all other features in modern american/western culture. there are plenty of protagonists or love interests in these books who are described as not young, or not remarkable, or not pretty, or even ugly or frightening, but nevertheless compellingly sexy and attractive, or simply interesting, or worthy in some way. 

its weird that the cultural consciousness has become seemingly ignorant of non-physical attraction. like that anon that was in my inbox talking about how they were “normal looking’ and therefore “needed” filters in order to “compete” with attractive people. it’s a weirdly mercenary and capitalist view of the social economy, first of all, which absolutely is not zero-sum no matter how badly the social networks want to convince us that it is. but there was never a single mention from that person about their ability to charm or entertain or attract using anything except a fake photo of themselves. wild. im fuckin worried about them! im worried about every young person how has brain worms

when i was about 4 and starting to become aware of how much adults were obsessed with my appearance because i was dainty and blonde and could do a passable shirley temple imitation, my parents gave me a very serious lecture about what physical beauty actually meant: i didn’t work for it (yet, i mean i do a lot of work now as an adult), it was given to me genetically. and someday, maybe sooner or more suddenly than anyone could predict, it would be gone. if accident, illness, or hardship didnt get me, old age eventually would. so with that being a certainty, i had better build a life and a personality on something other than my looks. and i said, ok. every day i get older im more grateful for that advice and the fact i decided to take it to heart instead of trying to gamble on Being Hot for long enough to get job security. which is also a valid career choice but it’s a risky one. always better to have a fallback just in case.

im of an age rn where a lot of women in my peer group are starting to get a very hunted vibe about the impending end of their youth, which is valid. theres nothing foolish about it, its not their fault, theyre not stupid or somehow lacking because this is an issue in their lives. but im noticing that i am significantly less freaked out by, idk, how long ago the 90s were or whatever, because i have been expecting to get old since i was in kindergarten. and i had adults around me who were just like “hey this is what old people look like and what bodies do over time. its not a big deal. everything on tv is fake btw”. i didnt get out unscathed, ive had eating disorders and all sort of weird brain-body problems. 

my advice i guess if i have any is to go outside and really look around you. notice how almost every single woman, and most men, has at least some cellulite, even if its just when theyre sitting down or whatever. notice how everyone has blemishes and zits. most people have some dandruff. if someone is wearing makeup, it’ll be cakey or balled up or smeared or uneven or clumpy even if it’s just a bit. everyone over the age of about 20 will have stretch marks somewhere, even if they aren’t visible except in certain light. i was under the impression i didnt have many until one time seeing a picture of my butt in FULL natural light and finally saw the entire surface of both cheeks was covered in straitions, they just were hard to see most of the time because im the color of drywall and scars tend to be light. it’s really easy to spot hair extensions and wigs and fake nails and fake tans and shapewear once you figure out how to see it. and none of these things take away from someone’s character. 

there’s a strong argument to be made that when corsetry was the norm, no woman was expected to simply be the shape of the corset unless she was actually wearing it. photographs and drawings of women in the 19th and early 20th century were retouched a bit as all photos have been, yes, but they were not retouched to make naked women appear to be corset-shaped. THAT is new. people are now getting surgery to be corset-shaped. and like, i dont think anyone should not be able to look however they want if they want to have that surgery. that is one meaning of cyborg feminism, probably. what i dont want, is for anyone to ever think that’s a normal way to look (except for veryvery tiny mathematical outliers, the Barbie Hips Georg of instagram) WITHOUT surgery or shapewear. which i see a lot now. i saw an instagram fashion designer with a very obviously surgically-altered body answer a question in her inbox about how she maintained her figure with some nonsense about diet and exercise. so now some (probably young) person out there is thinking that if they just do intermittent fasting enough, theyll look like a woman with butt and boob implants, a BBL, fillers, etc. that person probably thinks that if they arent able to diet and exercise good enough, they will fail at looking that way through their own laziness and lack of work ethic or whatever. i see that mindset constantly, especially in young women.

the surgery isnt the issue. the look itself isnt the issue. the filters themselves arent the issue. the issue is that on none of these images, is there an indication of what has been changed or how. the brain damage effect of filters would be lessened, i think, if everyone KNEW which images had been altered and how. so maybe thats the answer? mandatory labeling? i dont know. what’s terrifying is that the average adult human in america cant tell from a glance what has been altered in a photograph, no matter how clumsily, because they simply dont have a template for what a real human looks like anymore. the false images have supplanted the real images, the actual memories of alive humans that you know and have met or lived with. 

if you go into any of the shittier men’s spaces online you will find threads for posting pictures of “beautiful girls”, and it is page after page after page of teenagers in full makeup, hair extensions or wigs, circle lenses, facetuned, bodytuned, surgery, etc, and then hundreds of men yearning and fanning themselves over her “natural beauty”. dont go looking for this stuff, it will permanently fuck you up to know what a basic guy on the bus is thinking about women every day. dont do it

but i also seriously predict a backlash into “natural” looks after this current madness, similarly to how the 1960s saw the rise of the hippie girl with swingin titties, pit hair and no high heels after the consumer beauty madness of the 50s. of course the 60s beauty ideals were in some ways just as fake, but there was some authentic yearning towards a freedom from capitalist bodies as well. so when that happens send me $20: paypal.me/3liza. should be in like the next 4 years or so. thanks

[idontmindifuforgetme]

hello ! ive noticed people coming here to vent/ask for advice so hopefully its alright for me to join in on that ?

so i kind of got absorbed into a friend group a few years ago (they all already new each other, i was new to the school) and ended up dating one of the guys in it for a bit. we never like officially broke up, things just kind of faded out and we eventually stopped talking and after that i stopped talking to the rest of the group too - this was over a year ago at this point. but we all still followed each other on social media and stuff and i was still in the group chat - i muted it after a while but i would check it occasionally just to see what they were up to. recently i had been thinking about leaving it since i never talked to them but i kept putting it off or forgetting and i just went to check it the other day and noticed that they kicked me out of it. its just gone.

and i feel bad for being upset about it because like it makes sense for them to not want me there i havent spoken to them in well over a year, and theyre all really good friends im just the random person that showed up one day and then disappeared. i was never that close with any of them, and i dont have any interest in trying to get back with the guy i dated. i was thinking about leaving anyway. i guess its just like..the finality of it i guess. they dont want me there anymore. thats it.

i dont really know what my point is here honestly, i guess this is just more of a vent really. if you know of a way to stop thinking about this kind of situation and move on that would be appreciated, but thank you for allowing people to vent here either way. i hope youre having a good day/night

tbh i think this is an ego thing. you would have been fine cutting ties w them if you were the one to leave the group chat, but now that they made that decision for you, it's a hard thing to accept. ask yourself why you truly feel this way. maybe some of it is the nostalgia factor--you want to be connected to them somehow--but the bigger thing here is you probably didn't like the fact that they didn't value you enough to keep you around.

when you don't have a lot of confidence in yourself, every little thing can be a blow to your ego. i'm saying this bc i definitely was that person. if what you described happened to me like a year or two ago, it would have bothered the fuck out of me. but not me today haha. i would literally just be like "oh that's weird" and then move on w my life, bc i don't need these people's validation to know i'm a great friend to have, and that i have a lot to offer. you guys just drifted apart. they probably saw no point to you staying. the connection isn't close enough for them to care either way. remind yourself that there are 7 billion people in this world, and you'd be fine wo them. you were fine wo them in the first place. it's a matter of uprooting why this very external thing is affecting your ego to this extent

[softxsuki]

Hey I saw your requests open and that you do emergency requests? Idk if this counts but if it doesn't make you uncomfortable I'd appreciate it.

This is a little hard to write about so please excuse me if its hard to understand. My ex was very toxic and emotionally abusive, manipulative, compulsive liar, petty, violent (he never hurt me on purpose I think but in retrospect I'm not sure). It took me years to get away from him because I was terrified of him. He never cared about my needs and forced me into a lot of sexual things I didn't want but pretended to. I guess it was unwilling consent? I don't want to say rape but maybe? Idk. I lost all my friends and demolished my relationships with my family. They didn't like him from the beginning but I was obstinate and didn't listen. I've kinda repaired the relationship with my parents but I still freak out when thinking of dating someone new. But I'm a hopeless romantic and I really want to find love but I'm afraid. I think I'm ready to start socializing again.

Basically I wanted to request a one-shot or whatever works for you. My comfort character isn't on your list (Iwaizumi) but his bestie is. If I could get an Oikawa x Reader where she is part of the Seijoh 4 friend group who didn't abandon her even though her ex was trash. And now that its been some time Oikawa confesses to her but she's scared to ruin things and he will hate her because there's some stuff she hadn't told them happened. And she tells him (you don't have to describe that you can just skip over it cuz I know its dark and uncomfortable) after he coaxes it out of her that he will still love her. He comforts her and tells her how amazing she is and is totally worth it and not garbage or used or whatever. (I totally feel like used goods not worth even recycling some days). They end up together?

I'm so sorry this was long and I'm about ready to delete it but I've been typing for over half an hour so I might at well submit and if you delete it thats ok.

Oikawa With Reader Who Has A Toxic Ex-Relationship

Pairings: Oikawa x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Mentions of manipulation, verbal/physical/sexual abuse, toxic relationships with an ex (lemme know if I missed anything)

Genre: Angst to fluff(ish), comfort, Friends to Lovers AU

Post-Type: Oneshot

Word Count: 1.8k

Summary: In which time as passed since your toxic relationship with your ex ended and your friend, Oikawa suddenly confesses to you. (Horrible summary. Are we surprised? Probably not :3)

[A/N: Hello anon! I'm glad you felt comfortable coming to me with your urgent request. I never turn down urgent requests/any request in general, unless I don't know enough about the requested topic, which could have me writing inaccurate information or portrayals which could offend someone, and I don't want to do that. Toxic exes are something I've frequently read about in books and heard about from friends and acquaintances, so I felt like I could write this for you. (Lemme be honest here, I've never been in a relationship, but 90% of my content is about a romance with someone so...JNEKANF I can get creative ig). I'm so sorry to hear about what you went through with your toxic ex. No one should ever have to experience something like that when they were getting into a relationship where they thought they'd be loved. Thankfully not all men are like that; there are plenty of good men out there who would treat you like a queen, which you deserve! I hope you get to live out your romantic fantasies one day with someone who will treat you like the queen that you are. I hope I did your request justice ;-; and hopefully it provides you with some comfort. Also sorry about not writing for Iwaizumi. I do plan on writing for him eventually one day! I'm just still stuck on season 2 of Haikyuu!! so I don't know that much about him yet. Oikawa was one of the characters that stuck out to me and they even gave a little info about his past, so I feel like I understand him better as a character. Once I learn more about Iwaizumi though, I will definitely add him as a character I write for :) sorry about that, but hopefully Oikawa pulls through and comforts you in this oneshot. Enjoy <3]

“Hey Y/N, wait up!” you hear a voice yell out behind you.

You stop in your tracks and turn around to see one of your friends, Oikawa, running towards you.

“Tooru?” you question with the tilt of your head, “What are you doing here?”

He came to a stop in front of you, out of breath from running, “I just got out of practice, the guys said they had to go, but I saw you pass by so I thought I’d call out for you. You walk pretty fast though. Did you know that?”

You shrug your shoulders, “Now I do.”

He throws a hand onto your head and the two of you begin to walk side by side.

“So what’s up? I’m just heading home and you don’t live this way so…” you trail off.

“Don’t worry about it, let’s just keep walking for a second,” he replies absentmindedly, one hand still on your head as the other was stuffed in his pocket.

You don’t question it though. Oikawa was the type to do whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted. You figured he’d eventually part from you and go his own way when he was nearing his own destination, but that didn’t happen.

Your walk with him was uncharacteristically silent, only the sound of your shoes meeting the pavement could be heard. You look over at your friend and notice the empty expression on his face as his mind travels elsewhere; his mouth set in a line as he looks up at the sky.

“Okay well I’m home. I’ll see you around?”

“Huh? No, wait!” he grabs your wrist gently to keep you from moving away from him, pausing your movement.

He drops your wrist as quickly as he held it and takes a step back, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Tooru, what is it?” you ask, confused as to why he was acting off.

“Look, the thing is, I talked to Iwa-Chan about this and the other guys as well, and they all said I should just go for it, but I know your past and I don’t want to rush things or anything, but…” he averts his eyes from yours, taking in a deep breath before speaking again. “I like you. Actually at this point it’s beyond liking you…I love you Y/N. I can’t remember the moment it happened, but it just did. It hit me fast and I couldn’t stop it from progressing this far.”

You take a step back, your heart racing not only from the shock of having him confess to you so suddenly, but also from fear. Fear of being loved again. Fear of loving someone again. It was apparent that Oikawa was handsome; the tons of fangirls he had chasing after him was proof enough. Though you had a bad past with your relationship with your toxic ex, you knew Oikawa was nothing like him. In fact Seijoh 4 had stuck by your side when your other friends all left you when you were together with your ex.

“Tooru…” you say in a wary tone, “You know I-”

“I know. I know you don’t have the greatest history with men because of your scumbag of an ex. You don’t have to answer me now anyway, I just wanted to get it out in the open because it’s been hanging over me for a while now. I’ll wait for as long as you need though,” he smiles cheerfully at you.

“It’s not that. I- I think you’re handsome and you’re an amazing friend, no doubt you’d make a great boyfriend as well,” you swallow hard, getting ready to say something you had been ashamed of since you ended things with your ex, “I didn’t tell you or the rest of the guys everything that happened during the time I was together with my ex. I’m sure if you knew the truth, you’d take back your declaration of love for me.”

And it was true. Oikawa didn’t know the real ugliness of your previous relationship. He didn’t know the full extent of the toxicity that came with your ex. The manipulation, the verbal and physical abuse, not even the absolute fear you had for your ex that prolonged your relationship with him because you couldn’t build the courage to end things, in fear that he’d hurt you or do something even worse to you. He didn’t know anything. All he knew was that your ex was a piece of garbage and didn’t treat you the way a man should treat a woman.

“Please don’t cry,” you hear Oikawa say, bringing you back from your thoughts as you suddenly feel his hands cup your face.

“Huh?”

You reach up and wipe your eyes and sure enough, your fingers are wet with your tears. Tears you hadn’t even realized were falling as you thought about your past with your ex.

“Nothing you say could ever make me think any differently of you,” his fingers replace yours in wiping your tears away softly with the utmost of care, “I’m sure there were things you wanted to keep to yourself, but if it’s eating away at you like this and preventing you from moving forward, possibly with me, then I wouldn’t mind hearing it. I promise I’ll still be here, feelings unchanged for you until the end. Don’t feel pressured to tell me though, I don’t want to force you if you’re not comfortable.”

His hands mov from your face down to your hands where he reaches forward and intertwines his fingers with yours, trying to show you his love in a way that wouldn’t have you running for the hills.

You thought about it for a while, enjoying the warmth his hand transferred to your own. You were a hopeless romantic; a sucker for cheesy pick-up lines and acts of chivalry that most women would probably gag at. You had desired a relationship where the man you were with would love you–actually love you. But that small voice inside you was against the idea completely. Putting horrible thoughts that a new relationship with a man could end up just like your last one. Oikawa was different though, you knew that. You could see the patience he had as he waited for you to decide what you wanted to do, love seeping from his eyes at you. You wanted that. You wanted to feel his love for you.

“Okay,” you finally say after going through the pros and cons of telling him the dark secrets of your ex that you kept hidden away, “I’ll tell you.”

He nods understandingly and you both take a seat on the steps outside your house as you prepare to share with him what went down behind closed doors that you couldn’t tell him at the time. You wanted to trust him and tell him so that if he stuck around till the end and still cared for you, then maybe you could both move forward together. Maybe you could feel a love that you felt you didn’t deserve. Maybe.

So you told him everything. Every tiny, ugly detail–you let it all out. And he listened patiently to every word. Whenever you’d stumble over your words or pause to collect yourself, he’d pat you on the back and tell you it’s okay. Whenever you’d shed a tear from reliving those traumatic, painful memories, he’d wipe them away for you and tell you that you could stop if you wanted, but you couldn’t. It was your chance to finally be free from the weight of your past that you were holding onto. Oikawa was a new ray of hope that appeared in your life; he was your chance to start new.

When you finish telling him everything, you look down at the ground, feeling ashamed of your past. There was no way he would accept you after hearing everything. You felt like you weren’t worthy of his love anymore.

“Hey,” he says softly, leaning down a little so he could see your face, but you turn away from him, scared that he’d leave you and you’d lose not only his friendship, but the new opportunity to become something more with him.

“I know exactly what’s going through your mind right now and I want to make it clear that you’re wrong. I still love you.”

“Really?”

Those four words had your heartbeat echoing in your ears. The hope inside you that was beginning to die out was set ablaze and you finally looked up at him. He gave you a smile and reached for your hand again.

“Mhm, really,” he smiles at you, “I don’t blame you for anything that happened, so you shouldn’t either. I understand why you felt scared of your ex and why you felt like you couldn’t leave him. Frankly, I’m just upset at him even more than I already was. I can’t understand how a man can treat the woman he’s supposed to love like that. It’s disgusting. You’re an amazing, strong woman for making it through that. I’m proud of you for making it this far and I know there are so many wonderful things waiting for you in the future. You deserve every great thing headed your way, so don’t hold yourself back.”

“Thank you. I really needed to hear that. I can’t put into words how relieved I am and thankful I am for having you here, listening to me and understanding me without judgment. I’m sorry that I kept it from you for so long.”

“It’s okay. I don’t blame you for keeping it to yourself, but I’m glad you shared it with me. I feel like I just got a little closer to you, emotionally,” he squeezes your hand.

You scoot closer to him, feeling your heart hammer in your chest, but the fear that was once there is gone. You could only feel excitement and anticipation for what was to come.

“I think I’d like to give this a chance. I know you wouldn’t treat me like my ex did and I’d love to see where this could take us,” you mumble bashfully.

“Really?” He beams, looking at you like a child on Christmas morning, eyes wide with a huge smile plastered on his face.

“Yeah,” you smile at him, “But could we take things slow? If that’s okay with you?”

“Of course! Yes! A million times yes! We can take it at your pace, however slow you want to take this. Whatever you’re comfortable with.”

“Thank you,” you say, this time you’re the one squeezing his hand.

“I love you.”

There it was. The words that made you feel good inside, yet still made you wince slightly at the possibilities of where they would take you both moving forward. But you weren't scared, not with Oikawa.

“Thank you for loving me,” you whisper, leaning your head on his shoulder.

It was all you could muster as a response to his love, but you knew one day you’d both be exchanging those beautiful words to one another.

REQUESTS ARE OPEN :D

Posted 12/24/2021

[ssreeder]

omg hi sreedie it almost feels like I literally just spoke to you funny that-

anyway hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii my darling dearest

screaming at how sokka is willing to set aside his deep rooted insecurity and trauma just to be an asshole and stop him from claiming a position of leadership

omg wait jet and sokka bonding bc jet is the only other person in the group that like actually knows zuko exists???? unexpected but I’m intrigued

sokka pls u have a bf TELL SUKI YOURE UNAVAILABLE

as fucked up as it is, I’m lowkey finding it incredible entertaining how easily shen has accepted the fact that he’s (he thinks) going to die bc it means his pov is so snarky lmao

NO NOT UNCONSCIOUS SHEN this is so sad he’s gonna miss zuko breathing fire this is the worst thing you could have done sreedie :((

oh but suki there IS. a reason jet and sokka don’t get along. but also I forgot how like.. idk if “peppy” is the right word but like enduringly positive suki is in the actual show and I love that you’ve still managed to capture that when usually she’s reduced to being the witty badass girlboss in a lot of fics

yeahhh I love kovi

wow look at jet learning some social awareness <3 it’s called character development

bitch I called it but tbh it was Not a hard bet to place when the options are either sokka being emo about zuko and sokka not being emo about zuko bc sokka is ALWAYS emo about zuko so obvi his fav smell is a campfire omg

shit-fire 😭

(pls tell me that’s gonna become a term of endearment later on pls I swear I’ll marry u again to make this happen)

shen why are you greeting your captor-

fulo is fucked up jesus christ THATS WHAT YOU GET SCUMBAG YOU GET YOUR DICK BURNT OFF

okay when tf did jet suddenly get so much more mature literally what did I miss

also I hate that I’m becoming a jet fan bc he’s talking sense into sokka this needs to stop

love shen running his mouth as zuko just sit there petulantly

shen get the fuck out of here with your homophobia pls and ty

HIS NAME IS CHANG I GOT IT RIGHT IN THE END I think?? I forgot what I guessed his name was whoopsies

also I never thought about jet/suki parallels but you’re so right you funky little mastermind

THE TEAPOTS what an incredible nickname I’m thriving the world is healing

AND NOW je suis up to date with itf FINALLY

love you lots like jelly tots, if I were a cat I’m be head butting you bc every update is so. good.

<3

Would it make you more intrigued to know Jet & Sokka share a tent next chapter haha??

SHEN DIES 2023!!!! I LOVE IT SOMEONE MANAGE HIS CAMPAIGN!

Pretty sure Zuko is convinced he is going to die too haha….

I love Suki but canon did her dirty in my humble opinion by reducing her to only Sokkas love interest (+ added bad-assery, but yeah I’ll try my best to do her justice)

Jet is actually really mature underneath his being a dick! & when there aren’t fire benders around making his eyebrows TWITCH he can think straight. (Ish) (pretty sure Jet is open minded to all genders haaaa)

CAT HEAD BUMP YOU BACK EX LOVEERRRR

[quarthly]

Twilight characters as random animals that I think are oddly fitting

(Also yes, I am roasting the animals as well)

Edward: He would be a Cheetah. Now I know, seems like a cop out just because of his speed but hear me out. Cheetahs are, at face value, pretty cool. They used to be my favorite animal as a child, but then I grew up.

Cheetahs, through no fault of their own, are severely inbred. Now thats mainly because of poaching, but the cheetas anxiety also comes into play. In captivity, cheetahs are usually given emotional support dogs. I will admit it is cute but it negatively affects the population. Excluding one in the wild, cheetas can be to anxious to breed and thats not good for conservation efforts.

Cheetahs can hit up to 80 miles per hour in a couple of seconds. They are designed for fast running and agility. Their claws are similar to that of a dogs for better traction and they have elongated spines for longer strides. They have a thin build, long legs and a long tail for balance.

This has downsides though. Many times after making a kill, it will get stolen for them by larger predators. Thats right, they get absolutely bodied by the other animals. I should probably make these shorter but I'm on a rant now, so I guess this will be semi educational.

Throughout the series, we see Edward over estimated his abilities and value, constantly getting bodied by others. He's essentially a perfect mormon, though thats on S'meyers. He constantly judges others, dehumanizing them to their baser flaws, without doing any self reflecting. Him viewing himself as a monster doesn't really count to me. While he definitely hates himself, the only thing he is truly demonizing is being a vampire.

Bella: Picking up from Edwards, Bella is a Chocolate Labrador. Yes, she is his therapy dog. I feel like this is really fitting for her. I know Golden retriever would make more sense, as thats the most common breed for service animals. However, I kind of focused on her appearance. Only at first though! I just know that Edward raved about her human qualities and that would pass over as animals as well. Her chocolate eyes and brown fur, very average and boring. Thats essentially Bella. Even Edward wasn't into her until he got a wiff. Labradors a very loyal dogs and while they have more personality than Bella, I just couldn't shake it. Their also very stupid. Ok that's kind of mean, they're not stupid but when it comes to love, then yeah they are stupid.

I used to have a lab, loved him to death, but god he was something else. Very much danger prone, from their own stupidity or their lack of survival instincts. I know that labs are almost aquatic. They love water, swimming, all that jazz. We can just say that bella has a few screws loose in her dna and is just "not like other labs."

Rosalie: Now she was hard. There are quite a few animals that I think would fit for her. I'll list the other ones, but that one I went with is the Swan. Like Edward, seems a little on the nose, but I have my reasoning.

I was going to pick a predator for her, as she is shown to be very vengeful and viscous. I would have pick some type of cat, most likely a purebred, from a rich family. It could still work, but the swan just speaks to me on this one.

Swan's are known for being beautiful, graceful, and are pictured as the symbol of love. They are also very vain. Edward constantly brings up Rosalies vanity. She was constantly valued for her beauty as a human, so of course that crossed over in the transformation. She was raised to be married into wealth, she was used as a bargaining chip to increase the family's standing.

Rose has a very strong character and makes her opinions known. She's assertive and aggressive at times. She's not afraid to get dirty.

Swans mate for life and like geese, are known for being great parents. I was also going to choose geese as an option for the maternal instincts. I was wary at first because swans can be really aggressive. Like actually, you think geece are bad? Yikes bestie...

I was conflicted because swans are known for drowning dogs and sometimes people. However, I can actually see Rose drowning Bella. It's not that unbelievable lmao.

Emmett: Now this one is just ironic. I only associate him with bears. Its inevitable, but picking a Grizzly or Black bear is too obvious. So I went a slightly different route...

So I was going to pick the Sun bear just because of looks alone. Like, I'm not exaggerating, it looks like someone wearing a bear costume. I don't think it fits him but I know for a fact that he would dress up as a sun bear and sneak into a zoo to see if anyone would notice. I'll put a pic of it here

Like look at this thing. I have no words...

Anyway, what I picked was a Sloth Bear. Now Sloth bears are mostly nocturnal, which either way works consider vamps don't sleep. Their diet is also odd but honestly so is the cullens. They're native to the Indian subcontinent, and are known for being aggressive towards humans. Its said that for the most part they're pretty calm, so I think its just fear of humans that make them act aggressively. Honestly, that's a good thing because they are listed as vulnerable on the IUCN Red list.

They have some similarities with sloths, which is where they get the name. They have long claws and unusual teeth. They are known to hang upside down from tree branches, and is described as having a messy appearance. Honestly, Emmitt has a messy personality. Sorry bestie but you're a lot of work.

Now heres the biggest reason for choosing this bear. Aside from Baloo from the jungle book being a sloth bear, they are known to run fades with Tigers. Honestly, how fucking badass is that!? Now I don't think there are recorded instances of a Sloth bear killing a Tiger, but when push comes to shove, they can hold their own and I find that incredibly impressive.

Carlisle: This one was somehow the easiest as well as the toughest. I know Owl seems like the obvious choice, and I can see it. However, I believe Carlisle values emotional intelligence as much or if not more than academic intelligence. He is so charismatic and values other's above himself. He might not be as Saint like as Edward thinks, but he does try and I think he genuinely cares about others. For that reason alone, I choose a Elephant.

Elephant's are very social animals and are extremely intelligent. I could rave about them for ages, I love them so much.

Now elephants live in a familial unit and are usually matriarchal. Bulls usually are on the outer edges of the herd or form little groups with other males. Honestly, they're not that bad aside from when their in musk.

In the group of males, the elder ones will teach the younger where to get the best food, water, how to use things as tools, and every other thing that will increase their odds of survival. This is really cute to me tbh, they do this because the females usually choose the older males because they've proved that they are intelligent and strong, that they have survived and will continue to for awhile. Teaching the younger males these things are to make the odds of them getting chosen to mate more likely. The whole unit just reminds me of a father that has to deal with rowdy teens.

Carlisle likes to take in strays, he might not have a herd but he will make one and teach them to thrive. That's how he envisions it anyway. He just has a found family and is trying his best.

Esme: Now this might seem like an insult, but I promise it's not! This is in no way misogynistic. I love cattle and ever since I took animal science in highschool, I have appreciated these grass puppies like they deserve. Call me Castro because I love cows.

Yup! I chose a Cow for her. Specifically a beef cow. That might sound weird but its because beef cows have higher maternal instinct than dairy cows. I'm thinking Scottish Highland based on vibes alone.

They are nicknamed the Gentle Giants of Scotland. Super maternal and sweet and ugh look how cute they are!

Esme came from a abusive marriage and had just lost her child, she was depressed and desperate. Her changing was, in a way, salvation. She just fits in. She adopts all these strays along with him and will protect them to the death. She might be gentle by nature, but don't fuck with her family. She lost her first one and she isn't going to lose this one.

Alice: She's an odd one. There are so many possibilities and maybe I'm biased, but I feel like she would be a Crow.

Ok listen, I'm definitely biased but it just feels right. Crows get a bad rap, they are so cool! They are so intelligent and have the ability to actually sit and think about the past, prest, and future. I forget what its called, but this was only seem in humans! Maybe other apes, I can't remember exactly, but either way its awesome. They do live in groups, or murders, and remember people and faces. They remember locations and are able to pass down information through generations. They essentially have their own language! They are able to use tools too!

Alice's story is really sad. When we first meets her, it revolves around the death of her mother and her institutionalized. She was essentially tortured and forgot everything from her past. All she had was the future and even that wasn't constant. Crows a often viewed as omens, they are associated with death. I personally believe that instead of being the cause, they just know something is going to happen. They are very inquisitive and can be creative.

If you befriend a murder of crows, sometimes, depends or the group, they will bring gifts. Its can range from food to shiny metals and colorful plastic. Hell, I think I've seen a post of one stealing things from people just to gift it to their human.

Alice's love language is gifts. Even if they are focused around fashion, she still goes out of her way to get something that will look good and at least be a little comfortable. By that I mean she tends to forget peoples comfort zones, but she means well.

Jasper: Honestly not to sure what to put for him. I know a predator would be more fitting, but for some reason I can see a donkey working. I know, seems like I'm clowning on the confederate. Fair, but I'm serious about the donkey thing. Honestly, it would be perfect if it wasn't a herbivore. Porcupine would also work.

Being a predator would make more sense. Given his backstory and his characterization, it wouldn't make sense for him to be a prey animal. Usually I wouldn't count this, but given his gore filled past and trouble with the diet, it seemed fitting.

I see him as a Big Cat. Honestly, vamps in general just give cat vibes. Jasper though especially have some cat like qualities, which originates from hunting and being a soldier.

I specifically see him as a Mountain Lion. Aside from him being blonde, he just has the predatory stealth to him. In midnight sun, we see him use his gift to make the nomads overlook him. He's honestly really powerful.

Mountain lions are known for being stealthy with an air of grace and power to them. They are stong animals. And I mean strong. They can jump 40-45 feet.

They're very elusive and quite. They stalk their prey and tend to attack from behind but don't think they won't hold their ground if need be.

Jasper was changed during the Civil War and forced to fight in the Newborn wars. He was a soldier as a human and as a vampire. He's able to feel and manipulate others emotions. He's covered in scars and is very intimidating.

He still struggles with the diet and honestly I hate how the others handle it. Like they have no room to talk. I don't want to defend the confederate but it just pisses me off. He has to deal with his hunger on top of everyone else's. Like damn, besties always on edge! Everyone doubts him which I don't think helps any.

Also, Mountain lions and Cheetahs can purr!

@aquanova99 I'll do a Volturi one too. That one will be fun lmao

[scarletwidowaf]

broadway, baby. (part 1)

Florence pugh x female Reader

Summery: reader is a singing waitress in a new York restaurant (like in glee) where many famous people go to, and one night the little women cast are are there and R is their waitress.

Warnings: there's some cursing and harassment. Its not revolve around it but its there.

A\N: im soft for florence pugh and this is a complete shit.

masterlist

Credits: Glee Gif Credit • Florence Gifs Credit

“I'm just a Broadway Baby, walking off my tired feet, Pounding Forty Second Street to be in a show. Broadway Baby, learning how to sing and dance, waiting for that one big chance to be in a show.” - Cast of follies

Life can be hard and some days can be rough, especially in your line of work where people competed for the spotlight on a daily basis. but that's life and that’s the road you chose to walk through.  And it's alright, after all, what's life without a spark? A movie without a breaking point? or a shift at Clayton's without drama?

This was one of these days, the kind of days who kept you on an edge as your body and mind both ached for a break.

'Just roll with it. just a few hours for your day off.' You silently said to yourself.

Being a young artist in New York was a challenge you’ve taken on yourself, luckily for you working at "Clayton's" was a good way to start a career.  most people who started working there were young talented artist who were determined to make an impression over the industry. The place was always packed with many famous people, from actors to singers and producers. So, in many ways, working in "Clayton's" could be a ticket to Broadway or the music industry. And that was the reason you moved there in the first place.

You tried the traditional way, but after months of trying to get into college and fix your past mistakes, like your high school career, you decided that this path wasn’t for you. no matter what you did or how hard you tried your ADHD still managed to kick your ass. So, that’s how you ended up as a singing waitress in NY. You liked your job, truly. You liked singing and dancing and meeting cool people along the way, but sometimes it was just too much.

"You look like shit" Aaron said from his spot at the bar.

Aaron was a sweet guy and probably the only straight person in your group of friends. He was charming and talented and most importantly; he was the first friend you got in NY.

Aaron pulled his long brown hair into a bun as he chuckled at you. You huffed in frustration in return.

"Thanks" you muttered as he passes you a mug with coffee, hoping to help you get a grip before the restaurant opens.

"You need to rest" he said. "properly" 

"that’s overrated" you joked and took a sip.

You felt an hand on your shoulder and you turned around to meet your friend's stern gaze. "You, okay?" she asked

"Always" you answered Mackenzie's question and she raised her eyebrow, knowing full well you were lying. 

"we should sing as a warm up!" David, another one of your coworkers and Aaron's twin brother said.

"Let's not" Aaron said as he rolled his eyes at his brother's enthusiasm. 

You laughed quietly as the two started bickering. Mack and you glanced at each other knowingly. Both of you already know who will win in the stupid argument.

15 minutes later, after a group warm up and Aaron's dramatic sighs 'Clayton's' was open for business.

It was a nice evening, not too full, not too loud. And most importantly, not too many known faces.

Of course, you liked to have famous people on your shifts, and it could obviously be a game changer for you but it can get intense at times and you want in the mood. Seriously, how can you be the only one who found singing "defying gravity' in font of Idina Menzel as a very stressful experience?? You were terrified by the idea you'll fuck up in front of the original singer- and make a total fool out of yourself. 

When 10 pm rolled around, every opinion you had about the evening flew out the window. at this point, the restaurant was full with costumers and some known faces as well, and you found yourself holding every inch of you together as you approach the table who was occupied by the one and only Meryl Streep, and some fellow little women cast members.  

 *rule number 1 of working at Clayton's: don't make costumers feel uncomfortable. Don't annoy the costumers, don't ask for autographs if they're famous and generally treat them as normal and respectfully as you can. *

 "Hello, my name is Y/N and ill be your waitress for tonight" you introduced yourself with a small smile. The women smiled at you brightly.

"How does it work" Meryl held the tablet with a puzzled expression. "Am I that old?" She joked

"Barley" One of the other women, Emma fucking Watson, said. 

"I know it looks complicated-" you told them as you took the tablet from Meryl's hand."-But it's pretty simple, actually, I promise. As you can see the top part of the tablet is divided into two sections: The right one who says 'ask for a waiter'- which means that your waiter- which in this case, me, is busy- probably performing at the moment, and you can ask for a different waiter." You said with an ease, knowing the explanation by heart.

"The left section says 'ask for my waiter' which is a pretty simple one to understand... I guess- if you'll need me for whatever reason, you can press it and it'll page me. Feel free to use it."  You said with a smile as you scanned their faces, making sure they understand the first part.

"And the bottom section?" Saoirse asked. 

"The bottom section is the 'refill' sections. It will get into validation only after ill place your order in my own tablet and send to the kitchen." You explained as you gestured to your own tablet. "It's pretty useful, the point of it is that you can ask for a refill without having to social with me. Its awesome"

You noticed one of them, Florence pugh, scanning the tablet with a small smile- as she listened to your explanation. She was absolutely a sight for sore eyes, that's for sure.

"Thats pretty cool" she said and you nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, I got really excited over it when I started working here" you admitted awkwardly "most importantly- When a section isn't relevant its will be grey instead of in color so you won't get confused. Like, for example - if You haven't ordered anything yet you can't get a refill, for the obvious reason. or if I'm not performing you can't ask for another waiter... which means you're stuck with me for the time being" you finished with a small chuckle.

"I don't think any of us mind that" Florence smiled and the others agreed. The blonde smiled at you again and you blushed slightly. "You're singing, right?" she asked out of the blue, just when you were about to leave and let them look through their menus. 

"Yeah, i do. In a few minutes, actually" 

"Thats cool! Good luck" she smiled and you wondered if Emma, who set the closest to you, could hear how fast your heart's beating. 

"Thank you" you said with a smile and turned around to the stage. 

__________________

"you paged? I'm guessing you guys ready to order then" You said as you approached their table after your performance. 

"YOU WERE SO GODD!" Florence said excitedly.

"Thank you" you blushed slightly. 

What. The. Fuck. Y/N?! You scolded yourself.

The others joined into the conversation with their own compliments and you thought you'd die when Meryl Streep, the legend herself, complimented you.

After another few moments the conversation calmed downed and moved to the next, and most important topic: the food. You tried your best to not blush under Florence's soft gaze and keep your focus on the other members of her table as they consulted you about the dishes, but damn, that was hard.  luckily for you it didn’t take long and a few minutes later, their order was sent to the kitchen. 

 The next hour and a half weren't much different. you sang and placed orders, you smiled to costumers and even pretend to laugh at some old man's joke. And maybe (just maybe) you glanced over to Florence every now and then.

The thing about Clayton's is that apart for the famous people who visit there frequently, it also contains many of the rich and the snobs of New York, so you weren't surprised when you got paged from a table who was occupied by two guys with fancy clothes and their parents credit card.

"Hey" one of them said to you as you approached them. 

"hey, welcome to Clayton's! You're David's table, right?" You said and pointed at your friend who started his own performance.

"Yeah, the fag one" the other guy said and your smile fell.

Take a deep breath, Y/N. It's not worth it. 

"I see you guys already ordered a few minutes ago" you said as you checked your tablet.

"Yeah" the asshole confirmed. 

"Okay, in that case, how can I help you?" You asked politely as you could. 

"we would like to get the check." The first guy said politely as he pulled out a few bills from his wallet. "Keep the change" he said as you took it and made sure it was enough.

"Thank you" you smiled politely and made a mental note to give David his well-earned tip.

"my brother want to know if you're single" the asshole said and the nicer guy looked at his with his eyes wide.

Shit.

"I'm sorry, I'm in a relationship" you lied after a moment, hoping the lie will spare both his feeling and any more questions in the subject.

The guy nodded in understanding but on the other hand, the other guy didn’t seem to get the massage.  

"I'm sure he won't mind sharing" the asshole said and you felt sorry for the poor guy for being related to this ass.

"What the fuck Chad" the nice guy said as chad smirked at you.

"yeah... that’s not going to happen." You glared at him "have a great weekend tho" you gritted out and turned around to leave.

you were taken by surprise when you felt chad's hand on your ass. Again, what the fuck?!

"What the fuck is wrong with you' asshole" you gritted out and moved away from him. 

Don't make a scene. He's not worth it. 

"C'mon-" he started to say as he got up. You moved away, knowing you were cornered since the place was full, the lights were deemed and the music was loud. 

"Don't touch me" you said and moved away; you're back hitting an empty table who stood nearly.

"Hey what's going on here?" You heard and turned to catch Florence walking to you.

If a look could kill chad would’ve been dead. that’s for sure. It's like the sweet and excited Florence had left and a different, intimidating (and hot) version of her took her space and so help you god, you were glad she was on your side.

"Nothing! we were just leaving, really" Frankie said.

"None of your business" brad said and Florence raised her perfectly shaped eyebrow, daring him to cross her.

"I see" she said "well, I'm sure y/n won't mind my intruding" 

'Thank god for Florence Pugh.' You thought.

Before chad could press the subject any further David, who just finished his performance, got there. You were sure he noticed that something was happening.

"what's going on here?" he asked after he scanned the situation quickly.

"nothing as I said to your friend, we were just leaving" Frankie said again. 

he didn’t want to draw any negative attention, just like you, and thankfully for the both of you, not many people noticed the situation.

This time chad didn't answer, he just glared at Florence and you while his brother pulled him away from the place.

"so, are you going to tell me what happened?" David asked Florence and you after the two left.

Florence looked at you, waiting for you to answer him. 

"Nothing" you lied. "it's okay David, you can go" you promised your friend. David looked at you with his 'I done believe you' expression, but he didn't press it any further. He just nodded before he turned around and left. 

 Rule number 2: do not make a scene under no circumstances. At Clayton's, everything you do while you're on the clock is practically showcased. You slip? you fall? you sing out of tune? Its under a spotlight, everyone can see that and everyone will have something to say about it. Thats the thing about this place.  most people who started there and moved on to bigger things as Broadway or Hollywood were practically trained to keep their best poker face, act on the demand or pretend that everything is okay when it was clearly not. 

 "You should go back to your table" you said to Florence 

she looked at you with an unreadable expression before she went back to her table. You didn't have much time to read into it since a few minutes later you found yourself at her table, printing their check and having a small friendly conversation with the women. You smiled at them as they left before you turned your tablet off and went to cover for Aaron at the bar.

 "I thought you guys left" You said with a smile when the blonde approached you a few minutes later. 

"Why did you lie?" Florence asked with the same unreadable expression from earlier.

Okay. No smiling then.

"I didn’t" you pulled out two shot glasses and filled them with tequila. The blonde gave you a 'are you kidding me' kind of look and you couldn't help but to chuckle. "I didn't see a reason to make a scene over nothing" you explained and downed one of the shots.

"It wasn't nothing Y/N" she said before taking the other glass. 

"its fine. I'm fine. He didn’t do anything " you said as she downed her shot.

"Yeah, because I was there" she argued.

"I can handle guys like him. Seriously, at this point it might as well be a part of my job" 

"you're not helping yourself"

"I liked you better smiling" you chuckled as she glared at you.

"I'm sure you did"

"shut up" 

"How's your back?" She asked/

The blonde definitely didn't seem convinced about the chad situation but you were just grateful for the change of subject.

"It will be alright"

"Good"

"I appreciate your worry, truly. But I'm fine and I really don't want to hold you back here over it" you said  

"Who said I was worried" she smirked at you with a raised eyebrow.

"Uh, you don't?" You played along 

"Nope"

"Then why are you still here? Its almost 12 am, don't you have something better to do" you teased her 

"no. Do you?" She turned the question and you laughed. 

"I guess not - considering the fact I work here and I'm still on clock"

"Oh, please we both know this place is about to close" she argued your logic

"True" you admitted

"So, if you have nothing better to do, and you don't, would you like to go out with me? You kinda owe me after I saved your ass earlier"

"Uh, and here I thought you did that as an act of kindness" you joked. A small smile playing on your lips.

"Ew no" she said and You laughed. "Well?" Florence pressed with a cheeky smile.

"Yeah, why not. It's not like I have something better to do" 

"Just what I wanted to hear" she joked.

[thickest-antivirus-programs]

Tw vent

I think i hate my mom bc she made me think getting bullied meant i deserved to be bullied. I didnt mint being told off/having people be rude to me as long as it was only verbally that much as long as i had someone who liked me, but my mom insisted i need to be likeable and normal bc shes ableist with my autism, she was always sensitive to me getting into the slightest trouble or being involved in trouble even if its not my fault. Anyway i didnt mind someone thinking i was lame but i did mind about my reputation because my moms love was conditional based on it. Its hard to explain the cruelty to a middleschool bully so i dont blame them. I actually think its cool if noone thinks im normal and acceptable and they think im weird and impossible to tolerate. But it was awful to feel like im not doing what is being asked of me. "Everyone elses parrents must love their children so much because they dont get in trouble even if they do trouble things, because theyre good at getting away with things, they know what to say. Im the only one in my class getting bullied and caught and being clumsy at everything, my mom must be the most dissapointed mom in the class" because being liked on the surface level is a stupid endevour, and all the good offers and networking, or at least like 60% of the offers worth taking, are done at the deeper level, where id like to think people judge you fairly on a deeper level. I like to think if someone misjudges me they didnt have much to offer anyway. Being liked is a stupid endevour, but being loved by my mom, who has full control over me and can take things out on me for 5 more years if she doesnt like me (until 18 i thought. The truth is to escape home you also need money).. "For my mom i must be perfect, because she wants it and she thinks she can get it, she almost believes in me although its in a category i dont care about and based on complete ignorance" like i dont even know how she would know if im getting bullied. I guess she asked me how was school every day and she expected me to say okay and if i didnt she expected me to have an explanation. She didnt get angry if i didnt say things were okay but she did this thing where she felt guilty so she would ask what happened and then make sure she told be how it was my fault so she didnt feel responsible (Is that what too much empathy does to a person who choses not to be compassionate?) she also expected me to bring friends which i never did. Its fair, a kid should have friends. That parts fair. I wish someone explained to kid me what im doing wrong that makes kids not want to play with me that i could fix, because autism blah blah but we can still be taught how to be team players but it takes so much longer to figure out when it doesnt come naturally. I wish someone told kid me "when passing someone, pick a side where youre going and look there with your head to indicate thats the direction youre going to avoid collision" "when trying to say something on topic in a group without interrupting, wait until the person currently talking makes a small pause but not in the middle of a sentence" or idk "dont talk about living in a tower made of skulls during break or the other kids will be scared of you" idk what i needed but an adult should know that for me.. But they didnt expect a kid to need that kind of help bc most kids figure that stuff out on their own. Although i did get told that i should keep my shirt on when its hot outside or in PE bc im a "girl" which is stupid and unfair bc the boys took off their shirts. Anyways now that i dont care about being a socially acceptable person i can talk to other people who are also bad at this stuff and we dont even have to be aware we look bad to some ableist. But im still mad my mom expected me to be cool and likable as if thats what she sent me to school for, and that she made me feel like the bullies are right

[babysizedfics]

janus trying to get child virgil to socialize and it ending in bullying

tw: angst, bullying (not violent) between children, ableism against an (undiagnosed) autistic child

janus always knew that it was healthy to get a child to socialize with other children especially since virgil was not enrolled in education in the mindscape, janus homeschooled him. so when virgil was 6 yrs old he started taking him to a playgroup at weekends (virgil was still mostly mute but occassionally said single words if he needed something like "hungry" or "sleep" or "change")

and janus stayed during the playtime for the first two or three weeks so that virgil got used to the nanny and the environment. janus informed her that virgil was still in diapers and she did look down on that a little and told janus he should get him potty trained ASAP but janus was trying his best.

but for all that time virgil refused to go and play with the other children and just clung to janus, so eventually janus was like okay Virgil, janus is going to go outside for a while then i'll be right back, dont worry this nice lady will look after you - and leaves virgil there for the hour, trying to encourage him to get used to being separated from janus

then when he comes to collect him virgil immediately runs back to him and clings so hard and janus is worried. he asks the nanny how was he did he throw any tantrums did he ask for me and she says he was fine, he did cry a bit at the beginning but then some older kids helped him feel beter - and janus is like oh!! thats amazing thank you!!

and as he carries virgil home virgil is completely silent but janus is like did you have fun? was it nice to play with the older kids? i bet you had lots of fun! and virgil would just cling to him and janus assumed he was shy from interacting with people

so that happened a couple more times, janus left virgil there and virgil wouldnt speak but he wouldnt cry and cling to janus or anything either, so he assumed it was just shyness - there was one time his white hair had clumps of various colours of paint in it and the nanny and janus chuckled over him having an artistic streak

until one day when he comes back a little earlier to pick virgil up just because they had to get to the store before it shut or something - so he shows up early and all the kids are running around playing with toys and stuff, and he spots virgil with a group of three older boys and he starts to smile - until he notices virgil sucking his thumb, which is mainly a sleepy or a nervous habit

so he frowns and steps into the nursery closer trying to swerve around giggling kids and toddlers running around, and he starts to hear the boys

"he wont do that hes only a baby" "no he's not, he's like 4!" "yeah but i seen he always wears a diaper!" *giggles* "i bet he wont do it!" "yeah he will, he will!" "go on tell him to do it!"

and little virgil is just curled into himself and sucking his thumb and looking at their feet because he doesnt like looking at peoples eyes.

and one of the boys says "hey, you gotta eat this!" and holds out a piece of modelling clay and janus' heart races in the few seconds it takes for virgil to start whimpering and step back and another boy quickly pull him closer and insist "the nany said you have to or you'll be in trouble! don't you wanna be good for your weird daddy?" and hear the other boys laughing as virgil sniffles and pulls his thumb out of his mouth ready to reach for the clay

janus RUSHES in and scoops virgil into his arms and coos "no virgil, no no shh you dont need to do that, darling" and virgil immediately starts to cry into his shoulder and clings tight, and literally all janus has to do is look at the little boys - with his pierced lip and his snake tattoo and his scarred face - and the boys run away.

and janus FURIOUSLY storms over to where the nanny was helping a little girl brush a dolls hair and demand to know why she didnt notice those boys trying to force his child to eat clay - and shes pretty flippant like ohh no those boys have always been well behaved, im sure they werent forcing virgil to do anything,

but janus insists and yells that his child was being manipulated by thise boys and she did nothing to stop it and she argues that maybe virgil was just a little confused and wanted to eat the clay - janus is incredulous "are you saying my child is stupid??" "no no not stupid. perhaps special?" she suggests quite condescendingly - and janus looks enraged but the nanny insists that he please leave in case he scare the children. he hisses "gladly." they never go back

janus never learns what the boys did to virgil/made him do in the previous sessions - virgil doesnt have the comminicative capacity to tell him - but he can obviously make an educated guess that the paint in virgils hair that one time probably wasnt his choice

and after that janus never tried to take virgil to that playgroup again. they tried some others over the years, maybe another couple, but they ended similarly, with virgil being picked on - mostly for his albinism or for not being able to speak or basically anything the other kids saw as different.

a few years later he took virgil to an older boys club - the club was maybe like a wilderness thing, where they learn to tie knots and use a compass and stuff - it was when he was about 11 years old and could finally speak in full sentences, so janus thought virgil being able to talk to the other kids would finally give him an opportunity to make some friends. though janus didnt yet realise that virgil was selectively mute, and still couldnt speak with strangers

so when janus picked him up from the first session, he found virgil shaking and tearful standing outside of the club with a big wet patch on his pants and a group of the other boys all sniggering and pointing and whispering a few feet away from him. virgil had gone mute at the club, which became an issue when he needed the bathroom but couldnt ask the club leader where it was or if he could go, and led to a very upsetting and humiliating accident in front of all the other boys.

at that point janus knew he wouldnt be bringing virgil back to that club either, and they basically gave up on getting virgil to socialize with kids his age since it kept ending in virgil being bullied for his differences

...

nowadays i think only janus and virgil (and eventually virgils therapist, dr picani) know about these incidents, janus would never tell anyone else abt them and virgil wouldnt want to relive them by telling his family. so janus is really the only one who realises that virgil being so affected by the cyberbullying he experienced in the past couple of years wasnt just about the cyberbullying, but it probably resurfaced old traumatic memories too

[rosyredlipstick]

guess who watched high school musical 2 and got caught up in the ryan/chad of it all: a conchell AU

this is pure 100% cheese. thats ur warning. also unbeta-ed.

Spending the entire summer at their mother’s golf resort had sounded like a dream for exactly 3 seconds, until Mitchell remembered the…. Everything about his siblings. 

When he wasn’t pulling Sebastian away from flirting with all their guests and the entire staff, he was lecturing Scarlett and Drew about taking advantage of the concierge service, making sure Stefan and Valentina weren’t spending too much time in the sun and were definitely drinking virgin cocktails, reigning in Lacey and Sophia’s pranks, and making sure Sabrina was happy in her first summer enrolled in the youth program. Oh, and he was choreographing a major number for the end of summer talent show. So. Full plate. 

Still, it was nice he had convinced Will to come along for the summer. While he was one of Mitchell’s official guests, he had quickly befriended the entire young staff in the kitchens and by the poolside. More than often, when they were on their walks around the resort, Will would no doubt be called out to or greeted by grinning teens in red and white polos. 

Mitchell, used to his friend’s sunflower attraction toward attention, smiled knowingly and let it happen without a complaint. At least Will was enjoying himself--he’d been way too stressed about his pre-med program the last few months and, with Mitchell spending most of his time at the resort trying to rein in his power-drunk sibling, he was glad his friend wasn’t spending the summer alone at the poolside. 

Of course, with all his new acquaintances, that also meant that Will’s tendency to interfere with Mitchell’s personal relationships appeared. 

“I’m telling you, you need to hang out with friends more, you’ve been busy all summer!” Will was smiling brightly. “This is the perfect opportunity!” 

“Yes, the perfect opportunity to intrude on a social gathering!” Mitchell protested, “It’ll be weird if I go. You should just go and have fun, don’t worry about me.” Mitchell sighed, “I don’t want them to be uncomfortable! This is their down time, I don’t want to ruin it by being the boss’s kid.” 

Will rolled his eyes, “It’s a baseball game, Mitchell.” 

Mitchell shook his head, final. “Sorry. But I don’t think so. Text me afterward, okay? We can grab ice cream.” Will said nothing. He peeked a look back to the other boy, “Unless there’s something else?” 

Will sighed and looked off to the side as his cheeks colored. “Okay, listen, of course I really want you there because you’re my best friend and everything but also -” 

“There’s a guy.” Mitchell guessed, bored. Will found the love of his life at least once a week. “Who is he?”

Will didn’t even put up a fight. “I’m not sure if you know him. He works in the coffee shop? Pale, dark hair, sharpest cheekbones I’ve ever seen?”

Mitchell thought for a second, “Nico?” He guessed. Nico, for the past few months, has consistently served him the best caramel macchiato he’d ever had every morning. Mitchell dreamt about that drink, on especially good nights.  

Will melted into a dreamy mess. “Yeah. Nico.” 

Mitchell blew a puff of hair up into the hair around his face, “I mean…” He grimaced, “If you need a wingman or something -”

“Yes!” Will was already celebrating, “Thank the gods, thank you! I mean, I think you’ll enjoy yourself at the game and everyone’s really cool, but yes! Okay, if you could just like, set up a really good opportunity for me and Nico to be together like, alone, I’d so appreciate it -” 

Will continued to ramble about the perfect situation Mitchell could set up, including the ideal mood lighting, when Mitchell interrupted him.

"Is Percy okay?" Percy had just rushed by, looking upset, and hopped in his mother’s car without a word to either of them--odd, as he usually offered at least a hey guys! If not a full on conversation that left Mitchell feeling like a better person for having it. It was kind of his thing. 

"Oh, he's in turmoil because he feels like he has to choose between swimming or singing with Annabeth at the talent show and he doesn’t know which to choose." 

“Oh.” 

Will wrinkled his nose, “Yeah, he’s kinda got his own thing going on right now. I saw him dancing by himself in the golf course earlier, but I thought I’d just give him some space.”

“Smart,” Mitchell commented, growing a bit uneasy as they approached the field. There was a crowd already assembled there with a smaller circle throwing a baseball back and forth. As they approached, a few people called out to Will in excitement but it wasn’t until they were faced with a smaller inner group of people that Mitchell was addressed. 

A tall, smirking guy with wild curls was the first to greet him, lightly tossing a baseball into his own mit as he spoke. “Brought a friend, Will?” 

Will smiled brightly. “Yeah! This is Mitchell.”

“Trust me, I know who Mitchell is.” His humor-filled gaze flickered to Mitchell himself. “Nice to finally meet you.” 

Mitchell’s cheeks heated. “You know me?” 

Travis let out a small disbelieving laugh. “Yeah. Yeah, I do.” Travis elbowed the guy at his side, who shared similar curls and features. “And this is my brother, Connor.” 

“Hello, I don’t think we’ve been properly introduced.” Mitchell held out his hand with a smile. “I’m Mitchell. You’re on the staff, here?” 

Despite the incredibly stupid question Mitchell just asked considering Connor’s bright red LIFEGUARD tank top he still wore, Connor was kind enough to nod along with Mitchell’s obvious question, his eyes wide. Mitchell’s hand, still extended out to him, wobbled in the air. 

He was a second away from dropping his arm and shaking it off completely when Connor seemed to realize that he was waiting for a handshake in the first place and nearly dived for it. In his haste, he almost completely tripped over himself and onto Mitchell. 

“Oh, well,” Mitchell caught him before he could take them both down on the dirt field. “Are you okay? Is it too hot or something?” Connor’s face was strangely pale compared to his brother’s, despite the mid-afternoon summer sun. Mitchell resisted the urge to reach out and touch his skin for sun stroke. 

“So hot,” Connor whispered, in his arms. Mitchell stared down at him in concern.

A girl--Katie, maybe--came up beside him and physically took Connor out of his arms, a tight smile on her lips. “This is nothing, he’s just dehydrated.”

“More like thirsty.” A girl across from them muttered.

Katie continued on like no one said anything. “Let’s get some water in you, dude.” 

Will was smiling on like this interaction was completely normal. “So anyway I was wondering if Mitchell could join our game?” 

“Hmm, well this is an employee-only game.” Despite his words, the light tease in Travis’s voice kept Mitchell from getting nervous about the whole situation. “But it does raise the stakes.” 

That Mitchell could work with. His lips stretched out into a wide grin. “Yeah? What were you thinking?” 

Travis clicked his tongue, “How do you feel about being Captain? I take one team, you take the other.”

He thought it over then nodded. “That sounds fair. What’s the prize?” 

Travis shrugged, messing with the baseball in his mit as he spoke. “Any ideas?” 

Mitchell pretended to think, already knowing what he wanted. With a group this size, his choreo could really expand into something great. “If you lose, you guys have to join my dance group for the talent show.” 

“Hmm,” Travis looked to the girl at his side--Phoebe, he thought, another lifeguard. She once helped him with Sabrina’s floaties. “We’ll consider that. Guys?” The circle of employees gathered a bit closer to talk it over. Will shot him an excited look. 

Suddenly, in the midst of their talking it over, Connor burst from the huddle and pushed his way over to Mitchell. “I’ll give you fifty dollars if you let me on your dance team.” 

“Wait, no -” Travis grabbed his shoulders from behind to push him back, “Connor, we’re trying to negotiate with him!” 

“Oh,” Connor nodded seriously and turned back to where Mitchell was waiting, amused. “I’ll pay two hundred -” 

Katie slapped a hand over his mouth and dragged him back to the crowd, him protesting all the way. Travis looked back to Mitchell, tired. “Just ignore him, please.”

Mitchell watched him sink back into the crowd, something small curled at his lips. “I don’t think I can.”

“Anyway,” Katie was the one to speak now. “We talked it over, that sounds fine. If we lose, we’ll be in your show.” 

Mitchell had to resist punching the air in excitement. “Great.” 

Travis leaned back with his arms crossed, looking him over. “And what do we get if we win?” 

“Well, what do you want?” 

“Dinner and a movie,” Connor choked out, almost like he didn’t mean to.

Mitchell raised an eyebrow, “An catered employee afternoon in the movie theatre?” He thought it over, then shrugged. “I could probably arrange that.” 

Travis rubbed at his forehead, “I - sure. Yeah, that sounds fun.” 

“Alright,” Mitchell smiled with a small shrug of his shoulders. “I guess it’s game on, then.” 

...

Of course, against a batch of peers who had been playing baseball all summer, Mitchell was bound to lose. However, they didn’t lose as hard as he expected. 

After the match, when Mitchell was left aching from the game and loss but proud despite it, Will sunk down next to him at the picnic table. “Good game. I didn’t think you’d get so into it.” 

At the last moment, Mitchell had ended up diving for a ball, completely dirting up his outfit. He had caught it, and it had counted, but two players had already made it home in the meantime. Still, it was a close loss. 

Mitchell smiled slightly. “Me neither. But it was worth a shot at a full dance group.”

Will laughed softly, “Still. Great catch.” 

“It really was.” They both looked up at the new voice--Katie, from before. She’d been on Travis’s team with Connor, Jason, Leo, Annabeth and a few others. The rest of the group was mostly dispersed by now, most of them arranging rides home or plans to grab food. “We haven’t had a game that fun in a while.” 

At her arrival, Will stood and offered her his seat. Which was kind, but also definitely just a ploy to escape and run off wherever Nico was lurking. Mitchell waved him off with a roll of his eyes before returning back to the conversation. Katie took his place without a word. 

“Well, I’m happy to help. It was a good time, you guys work well together.” Mitchell shot her a knowing grin. “I’ll start working out the theatre rental. Any movie requests?” 

She shrugged, “We can take a vote on it. But we’ve also been talking.” Katie had an amused twinkle in her eye. “We’re in. We’ll still do your show, it sounds fun.” 

Mitchell sat up completely, a bolt of excitement hitting him. “Wait, really?” At her nod, he absolutely lit up. “Oh my god, it’s gonna be such a fun show, I promise!” He got to his feet in excitement and threw his arms around her shoulders in a hug, pulling away promptly. “Oh my god, wait, I’m covered in dirt I’m so sorry -” 

She waved it off but stood herself. She, too, was covered in dirt from the game so didn’t seem to care much at any additional. 

He couldn’t help but babble on. “It’s going to be so much fun. You won’t regret it.”

She smiled at him, looking like she was indulging him. “I know. Anyway, just a moment,” She disappeared for a few moments only to return, dragging Connor by the wrist. She pushed him toward Mitchell, almost bumping them into each other. “Connor will be your contact point for organizing this. Trade numbers, will you? For planning.”

“Oh, sure!” Mitchell fumbled to get his phone out and hand it over. Connor’s phone appeared under his hand faster than he thought possible. 

Katie left them alone as he punched in his own phone and name, drifting back to where Travis and a few others were waiting. He handed back Connor’s phone, suddenly closer to the other boy than he had realized. He paused. 

“You have grass in your hair.” Connor breathed out. 

“Oh,” Mitchell dipped his head in embarrassment and rubbed at his head. “Oops.” 

“I -” Connor gestured to his own temple. “Other side?” 

He tried but Connor only stepped forward slightly into his space, reaching out slowly. “Let me -” Mitchell felt a slight pull on his hair, not painful. Connor pulled away with a blade of grass in between two fingers. 

“Got it,” Connor said weakly, staring down at him. 

“My hero,” Mitchell teased. Connor nodded gravely at that, like he was accepting a mission.

Connor licked his lips before he spoke. “That was a really good catch. You’re a good player.” 

“Baseball’s just a dance of its own.” Mitchell shrugged, joking. “What can I say? I’m just that much of a star athlete.” Connor nodded, looking like he completely agreed. 

Before either of them could say anything further, Will called out to him and ran their way, grinning, with another guy at his side. “I heard the news! They’re still doing the show, that’s great!” Will was glowing, “See, coming to this was a great idea!” 

Mitchell stuck out his tongue, “You just wanted to brag that you were right.” 

“No!” Will looked behind where he had ran from and lit up, “Actually, I wanted to introduce you to Nico!” 

Nico, who trailed after him a few steps, walked up beside Will with a sarcastic roll of his eyes. Mitchell liked him already. “Next time you’re going to run off mid-conversation, can you at least give me a warning first? I’ll die before I jog after you in jeans.” 

“You’re the one who wore jeans to a baseball game!” 

“And why not? You think I’m gonna participate in this?” 

“Well, you’re an employee at an employee baseball game. Perhaps I thought you were going to play.” 

“Where would you get that idea? Have you not seen the everything about me?” 

“Hi, I’m Mitchell.” He stuck out his hand with a grin. He could sit here all day, truly, but he did have things to do. “You’re Nico?” 

“That’s me.” He raised an eyebrow. “You look familiar.

“Mitchell is one of Aphrodite’s kids. He’s a good one, don’t worry.” Will explained, shooting Mitchell a wince like he didn’t know exactly how his siblings were. 

Mitchell snorted, “On behalf of Drew and Scarlett, I can’t apologize enough.” 

“That… helps.” Nico winced. “I messed up Drew’s chai latte my first day on the job.” 

Mitchell groaned, “Again, I’m so sorry. I’ve been trying to get them to act like, you know, normal people -” 

Nico cut him off. “We work at a golf club. I get more cranky boomers in an hour than an AARP meeting.” Nico shook his head, “They’re a lot, but definitely not the worst customers to have. At least they tip well.” 

He could have wilted in relief. Across from him, Will’s eyes were nearly hearts. God, he was already lovesick. 

Which reminded him --

“Actually, Connor and I were just leaving. We’ll leave you two be.” Mitchell lightly grabbed Connor’s elbow to start steering him away. “Will, can you get a ride home? I’m probably going to be staying late.” 

Next to him, Nico perked up. “Oh, I can give you a ride? If you want? I’ll have to pick up my older sister but, um, it’s not that out of the way -” 

“I would love to.” Will looked perfectly composed, despite the screaming excitement that must be running through his head. He even managed to grab onto Nico’s hand as he led them away toward the parking lot. 

“Young love,” Mitchell commented, shaking his head fondly as the other couple walked off. “Must be nice.” He stepped back and dropped his hand from Connor’s elbow. “Oh, sorry!” He laughed lightly. “Sorry, I was recruited as Will’s wingman and I wanted to give them some time alone. Cute, right?”

Connor’s throat bobbled. “So cute. Um,” Connor made a jerky movement, like he was gonna run his hand through his hair but decided not to. “So you’re, uh, staying late?” 

“Yeah,” He blew some air up into the hair hanging over his face. “If you guys are gonna join the number, I want to have the choreo adjusted for a group before we start rehearsals.” 

“Cool, cool.” Connor nodded slowly, “Cool.” 

Now that he was closer, Mitchell could almost recognize Connor from his many shifts poolside. His lifeguard chair was almost right across from where Valentina would occasionally drag him to tan in the afternoon sun. Didn’t he once help Mitchell apply sunscreen, when Valentina ran to get slushies right when he was reapplying? 

His hands were cold, Mitchell remembered, or maybe his own skin was just that hot. He shivered when Connor applied the first handful of cream on his back. Mitchell had to advise Connor to take some of the sunscreen himself, after his own skin started to stain red. 

He was kind, was the point. Or at least, that’s what Mitchell remembered. 

Mitchell gestured at his parked golf cart as they approached it. “You want a ride anywhere? I’m heading toward the main pavilion.” 

Something wobbled in Connor’s expression before he spoke. “I could, um, go with you?” He said it as a question, looking slightly nervous as he spoke. 

“Yeah, sure! The employee entrance? Did you forget something?” 

“No, no, like -” Connor made another awkward gesture toward nothing. “Like, if you need help with the number? I could come? I mean, it’s never too early to get started on learning the dance, right?” 

Mitchell smiled, “Oh, sure! Do you have experience with dance routines?” 

Connor nodded confidently. “Yes.” 

“Really?” Mitchell turned to him in excitement. “Have you been in any dance groups before?” 

“Um. No.” 

“Oh, so like private lessons or something? A club?”

“Uh. No again.” His confidence was fully wavering now. 

Mitchell raised his eyebrows, “So what experience do you have?” 

“I sometimes dance in my room?” Connor scratched at the back of his head. “I, um. I didn’t think you’d ask many questions, actually.” 

Despite his awkwardness, Mitchell was… charmed by Connor’s fumbling. 

“Um,” Mitchell bit his smiling lip, looking away then back. “Actually, I was supposed to get ice cream with Will after the game.”

Connor deflated before he could finish. “Oh. Okay, yeah.” 

“No!” Mitchell was quick to correct. “I meant like, with Will going off with Nico, I still want to get it. With you. If that’s okay?” 

Connor’s expression bloomed into something so joyful, Mitchell was almost taken back. “I would… adore that.” 

“Adore?” Mitchell couldn’t help but tease. “Why’s that?” 

“I just,” He turned to Mitchell, his eyes wide. “I just really, really like ice cream.”

Mitchell bit his lip, “Me too. I mean, I really like ice cream. Ice cream is… sweet.”

Connor huffed out a small laugh, “Yeah. I, uh, agree.” He made an awkward little motion with his arm at the golf cart. “Um, shall we go?” 

Mitchell stepped forward and looped his arm with Connor’s. “Actually, I thought we could walk?” 

“I will do literally anything you want.” 

Mitchell laughed, “I’ll hold you to that.” 

To Mitchell’s amusement, Connor’s face turned a dark, dark red. He looked away, his lips pressed together in a small excited smile. Perhaps the baseball game hasn’t been such a bad idea.

[argumentl]

The Freedom of Expression - Episode 34  'Straight face challenge' at amusement park is very popular.

K: Hi, this is Dir en grey's Kaoru, with this week's episode of The Freedom of Expression. Joe san, Tasai san, welcome. We're kinda seated diagonally today.

J: Yeah.

T: It looks different.

K: Its kinda hard to see your faces when we are seated side-by-side.

J, T: Ah, ok.

K: And we've put these things here.

J: Yeh, these acrylic panels.

K: There isn't much meaning to these things if we are side-by-side, right?

J: Ah, yeh.

K: We were always turning sideways, so this is more appropriate.

J: Yeh, we are being more thorough with our counter-measures, with excellent visability.

K: So, we'll see how it goes today. Um, Hanshin are already finished. *T laughs*

J: But second place is second place, right?

K: At the moment..

T: Yeah.

J: So in the remaining 20-something games, there is a twelve game difference?

K: Yeah.

J: At this point in time?

T: Its a really big difference.

J: There's no way they can turn this round?

K: ...Its probably impossible, yeh. haha

J: Does this mean they won't be moving around in the top three?

K: Won't they?

T: They won't. Not in the Central league. Maybe  in the Pacific league.

K: Oh yeh, the Pacific league!

J: So from now on if the Giants go on like this to get first place, Hanshin will go on to be second?

K: Well, yeah. But, actually, if there is this much of a difference, and then they go on to win their final game, it will be a bit unfortunate..

J: Yeh, that would be awkward.

T: So, I've brought you two something...I had these Koshien masks bought for you.

J: Really?!

T: Yeh

K: You went to Koshien?

T: I asked our Hanshin reporter to get them, so here you are, for you both. They are both different. Home or visitor colours.

J: Oh, Kaoru is already choosing his favourite. Kaoru, you have them both.

K: No, no, I'll choose home.

J, T: Hahaha.

K: Is this ok? Thank you so much.

T: I thought this might raise the mood one last time.

J: Thats it?! No more after this?

K: Ahh, it would be tough.

J: Really?

K: Yeah. I hope...Well, if the Giants don't lose, its impossible. The Giants probably won't lose.

J: It would only be possible if the Giants lost every game from now, and Hanshin lost none?

K: Yeh, they'd have to keep winning. On top of that, they're kinda running out of players.

J: Really?

T: Some of them have caught the virus.

J: Ohh, they caught the virus?

T: There was a group of 8 eating together.

J: Ah, i see!

T: They lost quite a bit of their main force.

K: Yeh, and then they panicked and moved a few players up from the second team.

J: Like these people will come up from the second team, and try to grab the limelight at last?

K: But actually, Fujikawa is throwing in the second team. So there's a chance he might get moved up.

J: Its a possibility, right? Well, lets pray for a miracle at the end.

T: Yeah.

J: But its technically still not impossible, right?

K: Its not impossible.

J: If they kept winning, and the Giants kept losing.

Kami: Um...um...We get it.

J, T, K: Hahaha

Kami: Lets move on already.

J: Ah, you've had enough?

Kami: Yeh, Im just helping you along.

J: Haha, are you? Thank you.

Kami: Cause its impossible.

K: haha

T: Okay, lets move on.

K: Okay, today..

J: Its like 'ding diiing'..

K:...What?

J: Oh, its ok. Nevermind. haha. I've gone a bit funny recently.

K: Ok, Joe, please tell us the theme.

J: Yep! Ok, this is today's story. 'Screaming banned at amusement parks "Straight face challenge" is very popular '. In order to prevent the spread of coronavirus,  parks are asking visitors to refrain from using loud voices or screaming, while using their ingenuity to create fun at the same time. A piece of footage showing people on a roller coaster keeping a straight face has been an unprecedented hit, and another park is using masks as decorations to lighten the mood. 'We are asking visitors to refrain from using loud voices, but have recieved feedback such as, "That would be tough!", or, "Impossible", so the two of us park owners got together and made this exampe video'. The footage shows them enjoying the 70 meter drop, at 130km p/h adjusting threir masks in the front row of the ride car. The 4 min video has even become popular overseas, with over 700,000 views. In May, the Eastern Japan and Western Japan amusement park associations put together some corona prevention guidelines. 'Because there is the worry of droplets spreading when using loud voices, we are encouraging visitors not to shout while riding the thrill rides. In order to created compatibility between operating the park, and preventing the spread of the virus, more strict measures are needed on top of mask wearing and temperature checking.' The slogan 'Scream in your heart' is being used as PR for attractions like roller coasters and the House of Horrors. 'Straight face challenge' has become a hit on social media, with people copying the video of the two guys in a roller coaster, and there has actually been a decrease in the amount of screaming. Furthermore, since July, the park 'Greenland' in Kumamoto, which has ten types of rollercoaster, has been giving visitors stickers in the shape of screaming mouths. They stick them on their masks to get the feeling as if they are screaming. This idea was in response to the comment, 'its not an amusement park if you can't scream'. So, this is quite challenging, right?

K: Its impossible!

J: Right?!

K: A scream will escape anyway, right?

J: Yeh, its called a 'scream machine' cause it makes you scream! (*scream machine = thrill ride in Japanese*). So if you don't scream, its not a scream machine, right?

K: Yeh, im not sure about this. And that thing with the masks at the end..you can't even see it, haha.

J: Haha, yeh, its like just to get into that mood.

K: Really? haha. But you'll scream anyway  right?

J: You do, don't you, Kaoru?

K: Well, I've only been on them a few times.

J: What were you like? Like, 'Yaggghhh!!' ? Or like, 'Urrrghh!'?

K: Yeh, that one.

J: 'Urrghh!'?

K: Yeh, with my eyes shut tight...basically.

J, T: Hahaha.

K: Even just with the wind pressure and the swerving...it gets bad.

J, T: Hahaha

K: I do open my eyes a tiny bit if I want to see what its actually like.

J: Just for a moment?

K: Yeh.

J: Well, this shows that the amusement parks are trying hard, so that people can still come and enjoy the rides.

K: But they will definitely scream though, won't they?

J: Well, there will be people who do.

K: But if you are going at that speed, what happens to the droplets...?

J: They will fly away!

T: Yeh.

K: If there is some sat behind you with their mouth open like this...(*leans to the side with his mouth wide open*)....then....

J, T: Hahaha

K:...it might go in, but..

J: I get the feeling the virus won't go in your mouth if you are wearing a mask and going at that speed. But, yeh, if you're sat there will your mouth wide open, then maybe. haha. Is there really anyone like that?

K: I don't think there's much you can do about it.

J: I wonder what Kami thinks about it?

Kami: Its like Yoshimoto. Yoshimoto Shinkigeki (*comedy tv show*).

J: What?

Kami: Its kinda like Yoshimoto Shinkigeki.

J, K, T: Hahaha.

J: Ah, but if you see this from the outside, it looks like comedy. I think they made this video in all seriousness, but if you look at it from a bit further back, it looks like a joke, and we don't know when covid will start to disappear, but when we look back at this, it will seem quite funny I think.

K: Yeah.

J: But this thing of both owners not screaming, does that mean the ride is not actually that scary?

T: I see. Thats one way to look at it.

J: Its tricky. The selling point for these rides is that they make you scream, so if you are able to get on it and not scream, doesn't that mean its not very scary? Its difficult to figure out.

Kami: I like that title though, 'Straight face challenge'. Its good isn't it?

T: You could do the straight face challenge with all sorts of things, right?

J: Ahh, yeh. For example?

T: Like when watching movies, or soccer or baseball...

J: Ah, I see. You could watch a horror movie and try not to look scared, or a comedy movie and try not to laugh etc.

Kami: Its more fun when you are not allowed to do it, right?

J: Yeh yeh yeh.

Kami: You get more of a thrill out of it if you are told you are not supposed to do it.

J, K, T: Yeh.

K: Joe, you should try this.

J: Hahaha. I would probably scream straight away, like 'Yaaaaaghh!!'

K: Haha

J: Like we just talked, lets ask for some ideas for an easy straight face challenge we could try, not from Tasai, but from the viewers.

T: I see.

J: I mean, we could get on a rollercoster, but that might take a long time. If there's anything more simple we could do...

T: Like 'Electric shock straight face challenge'..

K: Electric shock?? Wow, he started off with the easy stuff, then straight to electric shocks. In that case maybe a rollercoaster is better, haha. *1

T: Yep, Electric shock straight face challenge..

J: I think it would it work though. It would work,  right? Us getting on a rollercoaster.

K: It wouldn't work, haha.

Kami: A straight face challenge at a concert would be good though, wouldn't it?

J: Yeah.

Kami: If you said, 'No using your voice', someone is bound to, right? Or maybe not?

J: It wouldn't work at a Dir en grey concert though, would it? Even if you said that, they would start screaming at the first song.

K: Well, its like that at lives.

J: Yeah.

Kami: I guess Dir en grey can't do that, yeh. Like, when conveying those kind of lyrics..wouldn't it be tough? If you said, 'No speaking or shouting, and keep a straight face'.  Even of you kept a straight face, it would seem like a joke.

K: Hmm, they'd just be watching only, right? The feeling of taking part would fade away.

J: It would, it would....Well, rollercoaster 'straight face challenge'!....?

K: Will you do it?

J: Lets do it!

K: No, no, we can't..

J: Ok, lets do tickling!

K: Ok, we'll do it now (*reaches hands out to Joe*)

J: No, haha. I already laughed!

K: Hahaha

T: It takes more strength to not scream.

K: Isn't there anything else we could do? For a straight face challenge?

J: How about eating spicy food?

K: Wasn't there something with mustard or something on it before?

J: There was! That was in Osaka. I got it on my face, and sneezed, like 'heeeh!!'.

K: Hahaha

T: Wow, haha.

Kami: Um, how easy is it to make individual expressions, amidst these restrictions? *2 Can you do it?

K: Oh, you're talking about lives?

Kami: Yeh.

K: Well, im not sure..We've never done it. Well, we've done a no-audience live, but otherwise, Im not sure. Normal conditions are best.

Kami: From the audience's perspective, it would fill their heads with all sorts of things, right? Like, 'Can't I use my voice?' or, 'Can I stand up?' ..

T: They have a lot of extra things to think about.

J: But basically, if you go on a rollercoaster, or to a live show or a comedy show, the whole point is releasing your emotion, isn't it? And in a situation where you can't do that...Well, they're trying to appeal to people to get on the rollercoaster and try hard not to scream, but the basic purpose of this ride is to make people scream, so this kind of contradiction just looks funny from any angle. And if you look at it from further back, like Kami said, it is just like comedy. So its quite a difficult to idea to express. It somehow just ends up looking like a joke no matter what. If you don't add any further magic ingredient to it, your original message won't get across.

K: It gives people more to think about.

J: Yes.

K: The inner workings of it. But I think you can still enjoy it at an amusement park.

J, T: Yeah.

T: As entertainment.

J: Thats why, at lives...

K: Yeh...it would be a bit...

J: You can't make it into comedy, right?

K: Well, yeh, in our case.

J: Its very difficult.

K: Well, this was a conversation bringing forth various problems.

J: Yes.

K: Ok, well, lets end here for this week. Please subscribe. Thank you very much.

*1 Think this is what he said here, he was speaking very fast.

*2 Think im missing some meaning here.

[soopysoap]

Uh, I read your post about having an 80's au for the foreigen kids. And since I'm a Foreigen kids stan, can you tell me more about it?

HI. ANON? ILY.

They're really just random n messy ideas and i forget how many there are but i'm throwing them all here

so the whole thing takes place in highschool and mainly surrounds the cockswolds cotswolds (mainly mark but rebecca is usually there too)

most of them are seniors, rebecca's a junior

mark is an unpopular nerd, therefore the main character because it's the 80s. so is rebecca but she's not the main character

uhh everyone else is kinda just there

like there are no side characters all the foreign kids are kinda equal focus- wise but the main one is mark i guess

like the leader of their group idk idk

estella is the stereotypical rich popular girl, but she's also a closeted lesbian they're all closeted tbh so she's trying to hide that from her mom. Her mom, instead of being all 'Blah blah blah brrak hearts to fuel my life' or something she's just obsessed with status and how popular Estella is. She's always pleased when Estella has a boyfriend, but it's not often. Basically Estella is more smiley and happy than she usually is, but she's stil usually indifferent. Smiles either when she's genuinely happy or wants something. Most of the time she's deadpan or rolling her eyes

Gaydamien is the rich popular jock, his ego is huge. His dad (since he cant be the son of satan in this one) is the principal of their school. He usually gets what he wants, no matter what. Instead of "You dare [insert something here] to the Prince of Hell????" its that but with "Damien Thorn???" yknow because of his last name. He's been dating Estella to boost his ego, mainly. Doesn't realize he likes guys yet. Estella and Damien hate each other, but everyone believes they're dating because they're too scared to say otherwise. They complain about each other to each other AND to people in private.

Pip is just- he's less of a nerd but more of a kid that's just. There. He isn't nerdy but he definitely isn't popular. At all. He's just a pushover man idk what to tell you. He's usually being bullied. He has a huge crush on Damien, because he got him out of trouble with some other jock like. Once. Always gets giggly around him, it's funny to watch. Also very passive aggressive @ Estella because she's dating him. They have very few classes together, but whenever they do he's always like "hey :) so hows damien" and she responds with "why would i know" and he's like "because??? youre dating him???" and she looks really confused for a second and then is like "OH- Oh yeah okay uh. I don't know. So." and then she starts complaining about him or something and pip is all ":) why not just break up?"

Pip also hates Christophe

Which, speaking of, Christophe is also an annoying egotistical jock who plays football with Damien. Damien and Christophe are best friends. Christophe and Gregory are dating in secret

Gregory is the stereotypical gay kid. No other way to put this. If Ryan Evans from High School Musical had a superiority complex. He's a theatre kid, and takes pride in tha- OH MY GOD. Rachel??? Maybe he's Rachel Berry from Glee??? it would kind of work idk,, ok uh anyway yeah he's always bullied for being openly gay and it sucks but he took defense classes in Yardale (yes he's still a transfer from Yardale, yes he constantly mentions it) so he's able to hold his own. But Christophe usually steps in to get Gregory out of there and tend to his wounds.

Rebeccaaaaaa she's the unpopular girl, just started school and doesnt know shit about it after being homeschooled almost her whole life. Has a little crush on Estella, but Estella "Doesn't" notice her. (Estella just thinks of her as some pretty girl who isnt worth her time) Rebecca usually keeps to herself, is usually gossiped about. Estella never gets involved, but whenever she'd get asked about it, instead of defending Rebecca she just says "I hardly believe any of the rumors. She was homeschooled, not taught in witchcraft or satanisim. Or whatever else everyone's saying. Everyone should really calm themselves, if they were so worried about what people thought of them when Rebecca started going here then they should get that in order first before ruining Rebecca's social life. God. You all have to grow up." So, not necessarily a defense but also not an insult. Rebecca still finds it sweet.

Mark is a neerrrrrrd 80s main character. Minus the popular love interest and yearning 😩 And also if the main character had a god/superiority complex.. he's bullied the most other than Gregory, mostly by Damien n Christophe. Girls don't like him, guys don't like him, he really only had Pip and Rebecca for a while. Pip because he's overly nice to almost everyone and wanted to befriend Mark immediately. Usually during lunch Mark sits with Pip and Rebecca. Mark has to hear about Damien all the time from Pip though, so that's annoying.

Uh I know that Pocket is TECHNICALLY a foreign kid but idk shit about him and dont really think about him but he's Estella's cousin and often hangs out with her since he doesn't really have a friend group. He's also really good friends with Pip. BUT since this is a horror au he dies off early

After theyre all friends some stuff happens yada yada yada Gaymien realizes he's pan and has a crush on Pip, Estella takes Rebecca out for a makeover , Christophe gets severely injured because this is a horror au as well, Damien and Pip make out at some point-

Estella and Rebecca both know that theyre Lesbians but they refuse to admit that they like each other

Kinda thinking of this as if it was stranger things or something so i definitely want there to be like... a series of bad events. everyone thinks everythings cool and fine and whatever and there are moments where our group kinda just get to chill n' be kids. idk i just want there to be a falling out in the group and then they all realize they need each other or something dumb like that

also for some fun chill moments we can have estella and rebecca walking around holding hands and laughing n' stuff bc they love each other idk idk

and after the falling out when they all join together again estella is the first to see some scary stuff but she was also the first to drop everyone except damien and christophe (because of her mother) and so she blames herself and doesnt think she can go to them and just has to deal with it on her own

eventually she tells damien who immediately tells pip who immediately wants to get the group together again

everyone's (the cockswolds) are reluctant to hang out again because of the way they were just forgotten so easily, but they go anyway. because of the horror stuff. they both are pissed at estella though

at some point estella gets badly hurt and rebecca saves her and starts nursing her back to health

estella: why are you... why are you doing this. dont you hate me?

rebecca: i'm doing it because i actually care for you, idiot.

estella: i care for you i just... couldnt...

rebecca: what? spend time with a lowlife like me?

estella: you know thats not what i meant-

they go on like that for a little while longer until they wind up confessing to each other "Because I love you! Is that so fucking hard to believe?!" Would be rebecca's and Estella's would probably be "I don't hate you! You're my favorite person, and I hated having to stop hanging out with you! I love you, okay?!" it would be :) fun

damien and estella come out to each other first. well- damien doesnt really come out he just tells her how confused he is and they hug it out and estella tells him she's a lesbian and they both talk a little while longer and decide that breaking up would be the best idea

thats all i've really figured out for sure,, i have some more ideas but this is. a lot already so. i'm just gonna stop before i write too much 👉👉 anyway, anon ily ty for this. also sidenote: the horror stuff has to do with weird sacrificial cults. i know i have nothing for that and really only talked about how everything starts and drama instead of the interesting stuff but 🥴 i have no defense i just love my kids ok drama is fun

[words-for-holland]

Happier (6) | T.H.

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Summary: A deep conversation between Tom & Y/N takes place. Tom offers a solution to Y/N’s problem, but does she take it?! Can Harrison convince her?

A/N: It’s a rather short chapter but a lot of Tom & Y/N action!! I absolutely love reading all your therories and comments! Thank you guys so much for reading & sticking around!

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8

Betrayal

Its a vile word for the people you trusted your life with. Still in a state of shock, Y/N couldnt understand why Katie would have betrayed her like this. To think she was her best friend through thick and thin, always having each other’s back...it all seemed meaningless. Now here she was, packing up and trying to figure out where to go from here. London wasn’t an option and neither was the city with the rent being so high up.

As if her path was written by the stars, Tom had decided to call her the moment she started zipping up her bag. Y/N knew it wasn’t a good idea to answer, but it was almost instinctive in the moment. Truthfully, she needed someone. Someone to tell her it was going to be okay. “Hey, look. I know you probably hate me after the last time we talked on the phone like this, but I just wanted to say Im sorry.” Tom’s voice spoke softly through the phone as he let out a slight chuckle of nervousness.

Y/N smiled slightly as she listened to his voice. It was the most conforting thing she had heard, and could only imagine his voice wrapping around her to make her feel some sort of ease. “Yeah. No it’s um..it’s fine, really.” Y/N responds trying to calm her breathing after sobbing for the past hour.

“Yeah I guess, you were right. Maybe I was just jealous, because..I mean you already knownhow I feel. But you’re your own person so I can totally understand why you’d want to see new people. After all you broke up with me and—” Tom started getting more nervous as he continued to over explain his reasoning, but Y/N didnt seem to pay any attention as she lets out what was bothering her.

“Kate’s been crossing us.” She interrupts.

“Wait what? What do you mean?” Tom asks now more concerned, pushing the phone closer to his ear.

“She leaked information about Natalie staying thats where the rumors came from and she sent those pictures of Matt and I to Natalie’s publicist.” Y/N says as she closes her eyes.

Tom was more confused and in complete shock. Not understanding why Y/N’s most trusted best friend who do this to her. “Y/N...I dont know what to say..I’m sorry.” He replies, feeling defeated that there was nothing he could do, especially since she was so far away from him. Even if Y/N would have rejected his advances, he knew she needed him...now more than ever.

“Don’t be. It’s fine.” Y/N lies as she sits down on the bed, silently crying.

“No, it’s not Y/N. I know you’re hurting and I wish I could be there to do something about it.” Y/N smiles at his words. For every sad and painful moment, there would always be some sort of comfort. Tom was hers. For a moment...just one moment, she forgot about all the terrible things that happened. The betrayal, the rumors, Natalie. The moment felt like it was meant just for Tom and Y/N.

But not all moments last forever. Y/N’s phone went off, alerting her of a notification. In fear, she thought the unknown number was ready to leave another threat for talking to Tom, but it wasn’t. Though it was just a simple Twitter notification that came up, it showed that Tom and Natalie were out again on display for the Public. Casually flirting back and forth, with pictures of their social media interaction with each other. Her heart sank even more..if it was even possible.

He was still with her, even if it was pretend. Y/N thought back to when Natalie first arrived to stay with them, and how she slowly tried to flirt her way and spend time with Tom. She thought about how well they worked and looked good together, and how she left Tom saying “You’d be happier with her.” While it was all under the unknown’s plan to say those exact words, Y/N couldn’t help but feel some sort of truth to it. Certainly, she wasn’t happier with everything thats happened, but for Tom...at least he still had a chance to be happier with Natalie.

“Y/N? You still there?” Tom asked through the phone, when he didn’t hear Y/N say anything for a good while.

She shook her head to stop her thoughts as she replied, “Yeah...still here.”

“Oh okay. Good. I thought you hung up on me.” Tom laughs nervously. “Look, uhh maybe we should focus on what you’re gonna do. So do you have a place to stay?”

Y/N looks around as she sighs in defeat. “No. I’d find an apartment but the rent is so high here in the city especially for those that live alone, and I really dont feel like moving back in with my parents right now.”

Tom listened to her dilemma closely, when he offered without hesitation, “Come back here.”

“Tom, you know thats not an option nor a good idea for us. I told you we needed space, and I certainly don’t want to live under the same roof with a girl your fake dating at the moment.” She says in digust, voiced laced with anger.

“Calm down, Y/N. Im just offering you a solution and I could make sure you don’t see her. It’s a big house after all.”

“It’s not happening.” Y/N says quickly to end the dispute. Y/N stops to think about her other option, one Tom make not very well like. “Maybe I could ask Matt. I know he doesnt live too far from here.”

“Okay, now you’re being delusional. That’s definitely not happening.” Tom scoffs, as he thinks about the sickening idea. “I don’t want you near him.”

“You cant tell me what to do.”Y/N snaps at him. “Just like I’m not telling to stop being near Natalie, let alone enter a PR relationship.”

“Well at least Im being honest and open about it and not hiding it like an immature child.” Tom fires back. Y/N was at a loss with the way he responded to her. While she did keep it secret, deep down she knew it was for his own good..but he would never know. “Im sorry. I didnt mean it. It’s just...I wish you were more honest with me..with everything. It hurts you know.”

“Yeah..” Y/N whispers on the phone, feeling guilty and upset by where they’ve ended up. “I know. I’m sorry too. I want to be honest with you about everything but I cant for good reason.”

“No reason is good enough, if you have to keep secrets from people you love.” Tom says bluntly. “Look Im not gonna make you choose where you want to go from here. It’s your decision and life. Im just saying my door is always open for you...no matter how many times you hurt me.”

“It’s not your obligation Tom. I’ll be fine with whatever happens to me. I have to be, but thank you.” Y/N says as she bids him farewell.

As Y/N grabs her stuff and heads toward the door so do Harrison and Harry. “We booked a hotel for a night, if you want to stay with us.” Harry says as he tried his best to smile for her.

Y/N does in return and nods. “Yeah. Okay let’s go.”

Harry, Harrison, and Y/N made it to Aviary Hotel in silence. No one was sure what they should say to the other, when everything had gone to shit in the past month. Once everyone settled down, Harry decided to go down and grab food the group, while Harrison stayed to watch over Y/N in case she needed anything. “So, you told Tom, Im guessing?” Harrison asked, sitting across the other bed as he watched her intently.

Y/N nodded not saying anything as she brushed her hair avoiding eye contact. She thought for a moment deciding if she should tell him about what really happened in the phone conversation. “He and I fought..kinda I guess. I told him I didnt have a place to stay and he wanted me to stay with you guys, but I said it’s not a good idea and then I mentioned Matt, and everything went downhill from there.”

“Wait why not? Why can’t you stay with us?” Harrison asked.

Y/N gave him a look as if he didn’t know the reason already. His blue eyes shifting from surprise to realization. “Right, I forgot.” They sat in silence for a few seconds before Harrison interjects again. “You know, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. I know Natalie and the unknown number still poses a threat, not to mention risky, but it’d be unexpected for them.” He offered.

Y/N thinks hard about it, her brows furrowing. “Yeah okay...but how does this that make it any better knowing that Im living with my ex-boyfriend who is also living under the same roof with a girl that he’s fake dating not to mention your childhood friend, and may very well be the other person terrorizing me.”

Harrison looks at her as he rubs his face in embarassment. “Well..when you put it that way.”

“Harrison, you can put it in any other way you want, it’s still going to be a bad idea.” She says.

“Look just think about it, okay. Its a big house, and you can use the attic room upstairs if you dont want to see anyone and have schedules until we can sort all of this out. And if it bothers you that much I even have a friend that lives close by who also needs a roommate herself.”

Y/N looks at Harrison skeptically, as he weighs out her options. “You really out here trying to find a way to make me stay with you guys and leave home huh?”

Harrison smiles as he combs back his dirty blonde hair. “No, Y/N. This here?” He points out arms wide, gesturing to the room to represent New York. “It was your home. Your real home, whether you want to believe it or not, it’s with us back in London. I know everything has been rough between you and Tom, but we’re going to find a way. I promise.”

Y/N sheds a tear, as she hears Harrison speak. He was right. Home just didn’t feel like home anymore. Not without them, but as much as she wanted to say yes, the odds of it being okay were against her...that couldn’t be ignored.

“So what do you say?”

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