#but i guess that means it’s worth something! as mae says

[certifiedfae]

you either die mae borowski or live long enough to see yourself become bea santello

[pathetichimbos]

guys... I gotta talk about this. bear with me, it's gonna be a rollercoaster.

<nsfw under cut f!reader implied but not outright stated I guess>

---

Thomas having sex for the first time.

Oh boy. Oh boy. So many thoughts.

I don't care what anyone says. Thomas is a 30+ year old virgin. We stan him. We love him. We're gonna ruin him.

But first, let's talk about all the stuff in his life building up to it.

So, as I've stated many, many times before, Thomas was primarily isolated from kids his age when he was 13-14, so he didn't really have an outlet to explore anything in a safe manner with anyone. (Not that it would have been all that safe in the first place... these kids wildin')

And we also know that he grew up in a pretty conservative household (a.ka. patriotic god fearing americans), so we all know that he was most likely too embarrased and ashamed by his own attraction to explore anything by himself either. (whoo boy been there buddy)

And we know that as an older, proud, southern woman, Luda Mae most likely did not have any sort of sex talk with Thomas other than telling him it was for grown, married folks only.

But, you know what we didn't know?

Charlie wasn't around to have the talk with him either.

I was rewatching The Beginning (oh wow, really? what a surprising turn of events) and something I've heard dozens of times before caught my eye.

1952. Sergeant Major 'Hoyt' was a POW in the Korean war.

August, 1939. Luda Mae finds a discarded newborn in the dumpster outside the slaughterhouse.

1939-1952.

Depending on the month (but we can assume it was many, many months), Thomas was 12 or 13 when Charlie served in the Army.

So, while Thomas is dropping out of school and isolating himself from his family and peers, the only sense of a father figure is serving / being held captive by enemy soldiers.

And personally, I don't believe Thomas and Monty are that close. Monty doesn't seem to take any sort of interest in Thomas, and Thomas was a little too willing to chop his legs off. So I sincerely doubt he was any sort of help.

So, really, I wouldn't be all that surprised if Thomas doesn't really know what sex is. He has a general idea of the meaning and that it's reserved for marriage, but other than crude, most likely misogynistic comments from the older men in his life, he doesn't really know anything about it.

So, when he actually does meet someone (and tie the knot) and all of those feelings come rushing in, he's more than overwhelmed. It takes a long time before he can actually handle going all the way.

For the first part of your intimacy, it's a lot of soft talks and encouragement, and explaining everything to him. He has no idea how to make you feel good, so it's up to you to show him literally everything.

You have to build up to the actual sex, and even after you do it for the first time, he's going to need you to keep hold of the lead until he's familiar and comfortable with it all.

He's a mess when you finally do it. He's clinging to you, trying so hard not to hold you too tightly, a whining mess in your ear, burying his face in your neck and panting wildly. It's awkward, and bumpy, and he finishes way too fast (and you don't even get the chance) but the way he melts into your touch with that blissed out look in his eyes makes it worth it.

And trust me, he gets better. He's a quick learner, and as long as you tell him exactly what to do, he goes from a fumbling mess to making your toes curl in no time.

He spends an ungodly amount of time watching and learning what gets you going. The sounds, the sights, the movements, everything.

He could spend hours on you, but he's still new to this, so he gets distracted really easily.

He lives off praise, the more you give him the more fuzzy his brain gets until he's a whining mess. (He makes a LOT of noises). He loves when you leave scratches. (Nothing too deep or scarring, but the feeling drives him crazy). He likes when you tug his hair to make him look at you. (He's big on eye contact, specifically when you're more 'making love' than 'we've got five minutes before someone walks into the kitchen').

....Now this next thing I'm gonna say is going to upset plenty of people, but hear me out.

Realistically, I don't think Thomas enjoys going down.

I know, I know, it's a SUPER unpopular opinion as pretty much every headcanons him as being super into giving head, BUT, I have my reasonings.

It's not that he dislikes the act itself, and in fact, I'm sure he actually loves it, but we do have to remember that he has a rather severe skin condition mostly centered around his face.

This means his skin is super sensitive to certain things like strong chemicals, intense fragrances, hot water, and anything with a high acidity.

And going down with absolutely cause an irritable flare up that will hurt. A lot.

So, no, realistically, I don't think he'd do it, just for that reason.

Do I think he'd enjoy doing it if he could? Yea, absolutely, I just don't think he can.

Anyways. I don't know what this was. But it would not leave my brain, so. I guess this is my introductory to the smut I want to start writing. Who knows. We'll see.

[hurlumerlu]

miw/neo/shin for the ship ask ?

Well obviously you can guess that I love them, I haven't been subtle about it (also thank you for diving in the tag and providing me with good gifsets u.u) I love them individually - though Miw's the best and the guys are both sometimes irritating in their own way, you can't change my mind - and I love them as a trio, but I also love how they (still as a trio) interract with other characters in universe and narratively, and I love every single side of their triangle, though again : Miw & Shin have such a fun and surprisingly meaty dynamic, it's definitely my favourite out of the three.

On that subject, it is really nice to see a polyamorous triad that isn't a perfect triangle but where the non-romantic side is given (roughly) as much weight as the romantic ones. Neo isn't here when Miw and Shin meet, and something sparks without him. There's this shift, in their first bedroom scene, where Miw is bringing forth this cute and nice persona but respond to Shin's attempt at sincerity by deciding that putting her more abrasive self forward is a risk worth taking, and it's pretty pivotal ? After that Shin trusts her even when it's... pretty obvious she's lying, and she reciprocate by simply wanting to spend time with him without expecting anything from him. Like, their friendship started before The Clusterfuck, it could have blossomed on it's own, and it is important from that point on (Shin #1 Miw defender).

That being said, I also enjoy having a f/m/m polycule where the woman isn't the arrow's head. I feel like the very few stories who depict this kind of situations tend to rely on the men being bro but desiring the same woman in a weird attempt to, idk, retain some heterosexuality ? Not that it works. But here it feels like they went out of their way to avoid that, and I am here for it. Everyone gets their turn in the middle, but Neo is the clear linchpin of the throuple. Remove him and they fall appart, because of their respective insecurities. "It's time for this movie to end", say Miw, because why would she saddle the rich boy with her trashy mess ? and Shin doesn't object because why would he bother this cool girl that his crush loves more than him ? The three of them are stupidly self-sacrificial in different ways. But yeah, it's Neo's belief that when it comes to love they are allowed to have it all that keeps them together and it's just sweet.

Speaking of insecurities, I appreciate that it does actually take more than them fucking once for their relationship to be all smooth sailing, and that most of their hangs-up are pretty realistic results of, uh, living in our world. Like, Miw & Neo's poverty and their complicated relationship re: sex-work that they keep throwing in each other's face (Neo straight up calling Miw a whore, Miw arguing that Neo's a bad romantic prospect because he's poor and vulgar and uneducated) ? And you cannot convince me that Shin's conviction that he's just not as important to them as they are to him is partly from experiencing homophobia and seeing himself as the gay option vs Miw/Neo as the normal path anyone would want to take. I mean obviously gangster dad is the biggest obstacle in their path but I like that they also face internal ones. I'm often frustrated by the way polyamory is sometimes presented as the solution to love triangles (especially in fandom spaces) because imo, the neat narrative thing an OT3 does isn't that it solves the problem, but that it creates different ones. The show does it beautifully.

On a more, idk, bird-eyed view perspective ? I greatly enjoy just watching them blaze accross Thailand ruining lives without meaning to. The Mae/Phon/Ter mirrorverse doomed trio, Neo's boss, that guy Oat, the hotel manager and her family, Neo's brother, Luang I guess, even arguably Vanika... never has a polycule been such an ill-omen. Incredible Natural Disaster Energy. Three will be free and yes that is a threat.

UGH there was something else I wanted to talk about but I forgot what it was, I didn't expect this to get this long and also I'm sick and my brain isn't working super well right now. Anyway : never forget Neo fucked the step-son right after the step-mom. Or that time when Miw flirted with Neo's brother, while Neo watched them with jealousy, while Shin watched HIM with jealousy. Terrible work, team, eat some pot-brownies and then hit the showers.

[maeleelee]

𝐻𝑒 𝒶𝒾𝓃'𝓉 𝓌𝑜𝓇𝓉𝒽 𝒾𝓉

This will be a story following the life of Wooyoung and his sister Y/N. They're the next King and Queen of Utopia. They don't want anyone knowing though, so they go to college and hid the fact that they're royal from everyone but their two best friends Mae and Cassi. Everyone finds out about them being royal after a new article comes out saying Y/N getting married. She doesn't want to marry this man she's been arrange to because she's in love with her brother's best friend, Yeosang. Who gonna get's the happy ending?

Warnings: Cussing, flirting, sexual jokes, sexual tension, food, coffee, a boy being rude, crying, sad, bar talk, mentioning drinking,

You sat there and waited for your friends to get there. You saw a girl sitting alone. She looked sad, like she was trying not to cry. You decided to go get her a muffin. You sat it in front of her as the door swung open. "I hope you don't mind. You look really sad and you're way to pretty to be sad. I'd like for you to come back over to my table so my friend's and I can make you smile." The girl nodded.

"Please, I was supposed to be meeting a boy here and I guess he didn't want to show up." You held out your hand.

"I'm y/n." You said, a bright smile on your face.

"Kayla." She mumbled.

"Well Kayla, I hope you like chaos and crazy, because that's about all we are." Kayla nodded, giggling softly.

"Chaos is fun." She said.

"Good." You smirked.

You turned to walk to the table when you see Mae, Yeosang, and your brother Wooyoung come walking in. Mae was on Woo's back and they were giggling about something. This was normal for everyone. Mae and Woo liked each other, a lot. You'd even say loved each other, but neither wanted to make the first move.

You weren't to worried though. Mae had her chances at others. She dated here and there as did Woo but they never worked out because they were all afraid of the relationship the two had together.

Next in the building was Cassi, Hongjoong and Mingi. Cassi was with Hongjoong. They'd been dating for a while now. She's the nicest person ever, but she will call you out on your bull shit. She's also one of the chaos causers. The other two are Mae and Woo. They're the Chaotic Trio.

San's and Seonghwa showed up and waved at the group. "Y/n, hey! Who's this?" Seonghwa asked.

"Oh this is Kayla. She got stood up by an idiot. So I told her to come hang out with us instead." He smiled at Kayla.

"He ain't worth it doll face. Come on." Kayla took his hand and he walked her over to the table.

"Role call." you called out. Everyone went down the list.

"Wooyoung."

"Mae."

"Yeosang."

"Cassi."

"Hongjoong."

"Yunho."

"Jongho."

"San."

"Seonghwa."

"Mingi." Kayla smiled at everyone and sat next to y/n and Seonghwa. Kayla watched them all talk to each other. She leaned over to you and nodded at Mae, Wooyoung, and Yeosang. They were laughing at something San had said.

"Are they together?" Kayla asked you.

"Who?" You asked her back.

"The three of them?" She nodded towards Mae, Wooyoung, and Yeosang. You giggled.

"No. Mae's been our best friend for years. Yeo became friends with Woo a few years ago. Cassi is the other long time best friend. Mae, Woo, and her all cause the chaos while Yeo plots it out and tells them. He then sits back and watches like he didn't just tell them to jump off the highest building in town to see if they could fly. He's a little shithead, but we all love him. Those four are a power trip." Y/n laughed.

"If you want a rush for the night, go out with them." You told her as Seonghwa nodded.

"Y/n's right. We're actually going to karaoke tonight. You should come with. It'll be fun. We're gonna get some drinks, sing a little bit, probably a few more drinks, and then watch were the night takes us." Kayla nodded.

"Sure. I mean, I don't really have anything else planned."

"Good! You're going with us." You told her, not giving her a choice.

"We can meet at my place and get ready." Mae smiled at the three talking.

"Yeah. I like that idea. That work for you Cassi?" You asked Cassi.

"Of course." She smiled at you.

"Dinner is at seven so like nine thirty okay?" Everyone nodded.

"We'll meet down at the light post by Mae's apartment." Jongho said. Everyone continued to talk amongst each other. Some left before the others. Mae had threw her legs over Wooyoung and curled herself around his arm as they talked to Yeosang. Cassi and Hongjoong were talking with Kayla, y/n, and Seonghwa. Mae threw herself into the conversation with them, making the two boys also join the conversation.

"Are you sure you two aren't together?" Kayla asked Mae and Wooyoung. Mae giggled lightly.

"Nah, this is just my goof of a best friend." She smiled up at him and he smiled back down at her.

"They're hopelessly in love with each other, but will probably never say anything." You whispered to Kayla. Kayla nodded as she watched Mae close her eyes and take a deep breathe.

Soon it was getting to the time they had to leave for the dinner. Mae stood up and stretched. "I'm starving. Let's go." She said as she drug Wooyoung out the door.

"Sorry guys, pops asked us to be home by six. So we need to head out. We'll see everyone around nine thirty." You sad.

"Oh, here. Phone please." You held out your hand to Kayla. Kayla headed the phone to you and you typed in your number and sent yourself a text.

"I'll make a group chat for all of us. See you in a little bit. Bye Yeo, Hwa." You kissed Yeo's cheek and waved bye to Hwa. You ran out the door behind Mae and Wooyoung.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'll be writing about the dinner and the night out on the town next chapter. It does get juicy and sexual. Stay toned. <3

Masterlist Royals / friends <- || ->

[ducktracy]

What's a good beginner Popeye short?

HMMMM HMM HMM.. you could realistically start anywhere, given the nature of these shorts! i’d say the peak of the Popeye shorts is around 1936-1938, so maybe something around there.. the first Popeye i ever saw was Clean Shaven Man (thanks Devon!) and it’s one of my absolute FAVORITES, so that could be potential!

i guess my “essential viewing” Popeye shorts in chronological order would be something like this: A Dream Walking, King of the Mardi Gras, A Clean Shaven Man, What--No Spinach?, Let's Get Movin', Hold the Wire, the 3 Popeye two-reelers (Meets Sinbad, Meets Ali Baba’s 40 Thieves… i.. i confess i have yet to see Aladdin and His Wonderful Lamp but have heard very good things about it/still important in a historical context), Let's Celebrake, Goonland, A Date to Skate, and Hello, How Am I?

some of my favorites in addition to the ones above are Shoein’ Hosses, Pleased to Meet Cha!, The Spinach Overture, The Spinach Roadster, Organ Grinder's Swing, and Fowl Play.

i confess that i myself have only seen up to around 1938 (save for a few exceptions) in the Popeye filmography, which is something i NEED to rectify! i got so attached to the voice trio of Jack Mercer/Mae Questel/Gus Wicke that the idea of not hearing them together was something i was REALLY hesitant to accept. i likewise don’t want to insinuate that the only worthwhile shorts are the ones with them in it! it’s a reason why i need to jump back into the shorts again.

BUT, Popeye i think is one of those rare series’ where you can watch it from the beginning and be relatively well off. the artistic evolution through the years is CERTAINLY there, and the first few years are not without their hiccups, but there are very few shorts pre 1936 that i find to be truly bad or really anything less than “that was quaint!”. it helps that the Fleischer shorts weren’t as vitriolic/racist as their contemporaries—doesn’t mean those moments aren’t there, but the only true reprehensible short i can think of off the top of my head is Big Chief Ugh-Amugh-Ugh. it’s much easier to dive into the filmography chronologically than something like LT (which i still would posit is worth doing—i don’t think it is a SANE thing to do, but) which, length aside, does also sometimes become a laundry list of “how many ethnicities can we make fun of in this short”

THIS IS SO LONG FOR A NON-ANSWER and i apologize!! but the truthful answer is that i don’t really have an answer! i think it’s safe enough to dive in at any point, really. you adopt the tone and gist of the shorts pretty quickly

[lifesver]

@meatriarch said: [ patch ] - for sender to patch up receiver's wound/s + ❝ i know this hurts. you’re gonna be okay. ❞ ( mama luda, les' say nosy/dusk vibes c: )

he just trembles, like some shell-shocked animal. silent, staring into the yellow-white wallpaper patterns of the hewitts' kitchen. the radio is droning an indistinct old song, blurry as the edges of his vision. the room is sticky-hot in the texas afternoon, and he can feel the sweat at his hairline, with the remainders of dabbed-away blood.

he remembers when he had first been sat down at this table. struggling and thrashing until he'd exhausted himself ― sure he would die. she had waited patiently for him to tire himself out. and then she had asked him if he was scared. had told him, much less kindly; that he had no idea what being scared was. not yet.

not yet. the words reverberate senselessly in his skull, again. when would he know? if not when imprisoned in a basement for days on end. if not when anticipating the now-familiar bite of a knife under his skin. he wondered if he was allowed to claim an understanding, now.

his fingernails curl into his palms. wrists rub uncomfortably against the rope keeping his hands in front of him, tied firmly to the kitchen table leg. once, earlier on, he had slipped the bindings, and had made it as far as the front door, before he'd run in with the big motherfucker ― thomas, on one end of the hall, and luda mae, disappointed behind her spectacles, on the other. he quickly found out that he didn't have it in him to use the kitchen knife in his hands on her, after all. leland's eyes flick sidelong toward the edge of the room; it wasn't really worth trying again, when there was that same mountain of a man watching his every flinch, from the doorway.

he looks away again, and tries to remain still. the needle pierces his cheek, and he bites his tongue, brows crunching down softly. the thread pulls through the wound ― aching, and unhealed ― again and he just sniffs, and then forces his expression to steel. it doesn't hurt as badly as it used to, at least.

luda mae hums lowly along with the radio as she works, and he finds himself lulled, oddly comforted by the sound. if he listened to that, and to the birds outside, he could breathe properly for a moment. his nerves gradually settle. and he felt like he was losing himself, sometimes ― when this was kindness. a type of love, really. like the ripped stitches themselves, and the cloudy purple-red bruise under his eye. after all, hadn't he told you he was proud of you, when you got back up? that time, hadn't his hands been gentle afterwards, too ―

he blinks, registers her words in delay, surprisingly sympathetic, surprisingly gentle. for a stupid, delusional moment, it felt like his mother's touch, warm against his cheek. like aunts that he had visited as a child, who would fuss and scold, and then gently dab the dirt from his scraped knees. a tough exterior, and tougher love ( he could guess why she needed to be that way, from what he'd seen of this family ) ― and still with a motherly gentleness. because still ― tied to her kitchen table ― he felt safer than he often did, here.

❝ sorry, mrs. hewitt, ❞ he manages, from a raw throat, when she pauses her ministrations. tear tracks slip down his cheeks unchecked, but he keeps his voice even; ❝ ― for pulling them, again. i … didn't mean to. ❞ he hates how weak he sounds ― like a child getting reprimanded, instead of a captive, a stray dog that could overstay its welcome at any moment with these people. how powerless he feels. how stupid it felt to impulsively apologize, for what was inflicted on him. when he would be back here in this kitchen getting sewn up again, soon enough.

he thinks maybe she's come to not mind him, so much ― his presence on the property, as one of johnny's little projects. supposed it counted for something ― that johnny was kind enough at all, to hand him over to someone to fix in the first place. he swallows the bitter taste, of acid and iron beading new inside his cheek. his teary-eyes are plainly earnest when he peeks up at her;

❝ i ― i didn't mean to cause you any trouble. ❞

[perfectarmony]

I am actually frustrated with TCL this season cuz where is the armony magic??? Like they are hell bent on showing us Nadia/Arman and thony always fixing luca and going loco loco in the process. I seriously though that this Western drama would make me stick to it but nope...

I mean who are we kidding here! The showrunners of this are the same devils who ruined the 100

What a waste of time

Hello anon, and sorry for the delay!

Okay, I could literally feel the awkwardness and frustration here on tumblr given how quiet the tag is 👀

Warning as usual: this is just my opinion - but it's also completely understandable for people to get frustrated when they're passionate about something 😉

I hear you anon, and I understand the frustration with the teasing and anticipation each week if you focus and wait for some Armony content - but really, the show is so much more, and I don't think the showrunners have failed us so far.

~ A while back, an anon told me it might be best to not expect anything from Armony, and take crumbs if there were any - and it's pretty much the voice of wisdom in this case. If you look at the characters' development - how the different relationships affects them, and how they evolve, the quality of the show hasn't diminished at all.

When you think about it, Thony started selling drugs because she needed the medicine for Luca, and wanted to help those who didn't have access to medical care. Then, she turned away from that, to become as Gabriel called her, a drug dealer - to help Arman. It wasn't so much about Luca anymore - it became about getting him out and then quickly about themselves getting out - it was about her/their survival. Arman is now kinda free of Kamdar - yeah, he's not free at all when at least 3 men want him dead, add Tarik to the mix and it makes 4 - but still, he doesn't have to work for him anymore. So now, Thony proved her worth and we're back to the show's core - keeping Luca alive any way she can.

Wait for it, I'm about to use that quote again. It's not about doing things the right way or the wrong way - but any way you can. That's what it has always been about - and Anna-Mae telling Thony that she ''always knows the right thing to do'' was also a nod to that quote, and to Garrett telling her in 1.09 that what she's doing [helping Arman] is wrong, and to Fiona telling her she's someone who always things she knows better than everyone else, and to 2.04 - how we do it isn't always the way we want/Bahala Na. And there are more!

Again it's just my opinion, but it all makes sense, and they are still doing an amazing job putting this story together.

And again, I completely understand that the fandom expects so much more when Armony has been so vivid in S1 - but the spark is still there. Plus, they barely had time to sleep since the season started. I'm not going to list everything they all had to go through - but I mean, Arman has been arrested on October 15th, and if TCL's timeline is now synced up with real life, so much has happened in just ~6 weeks from 1x10 to 2x09!

That being said, I would be lying if I'd say I wasn't also frustrated at times and didn't sometimes wish for more for the entire show - but mostly because I'd like to slow down a bit, and spend a bit more time on some scenes.

~ I haven't watched the 100, so I don't know much more about that other than what I saw amongst the vidding community when reading video descriptions and comments on Bellarke fanvids - but I'm kinda aware of the anger many fans felt in the fandom. I guess that's what you're refering too? Or are you talking about character development in general? Miranda was indeed working on the show for a while - and I can completely understand your reaction, but unfortunately can't go any further than that when I haven't watched it, sorry 👀

But where I can compare is with Queen of The South. If you haven't watched it, I 100% recommend it - and even more as a show you can binge-watch! I won't go into too much details to not spoil the series for those who haven't seen it - but it has always been about Teresa Mendoza and her journey to becoming the drug queenpin in white. A ship - Jeresa - quickly emerged, and long story short, James wasn't in s4 and came back for s5, which was announced as the final season. And of course, with the clock ticking and each week getting us closer to the end, everyone - me included - had big hopes for their reunion and wanted them to be together. There was a lot of heat, anger and frustration amongst the fandom - that I watched from a distance, but also saw in comments on mine and other fanvids.

To sum it up without giving too much away, their ''relationship'' was..stopped/paused?..in the second episode, and with everything she had gone through, it made sense too. She was scared, had lost many people, was getting deeper and deeper to desperately make it to the top to finally become legit and be untouchable / and feel safe - and was also protecting James by pushing him away.

All of this rambling to get to the point that Armony and Jeresa are the magnificent cherries on top of a magnificent story. No matter how powerful a ship is, I won't be sticking around if the rest makes me want to fast forward. I was drawn to QotS by Teresa, then also fell in love with James, Camila, Branda, Pote, Kelly-Ann,...Thony's story made me want to watch TCL, and then I fell in love with her little human, Fiona, the kids, Arman, Mateo (who was supposed to be my parallel to Pote 🤧 rip), Nadia,...

If you really aren't enjoying the show as a whole anymore, I feel like it might be a good idea to take a step back once the season is over, and binge-watch S1-S2 once your frustration has hopefully eased off 😉

I hope I could somewhat help anon? And I'm sure we'll have 3 amazing last episodes with Armony content - don't give up on it just yet ❤️

[slasherstories123]

I WAS THE ONE WHO ASKED FOR THE BETRAYAL STORY AND I FRICKING LOVED IT. OMG IT WAS SO GOOD? CAN WE GET A PART 2? With MORE ANGST AND MAYBE EVEN THE READER JUST FRICKING REAPPEARING? IDK I LOVE IT AND YOU :D

Betrayal pt 2

A/N: ooooo the reader comes back, now you’re speaking my language!! 😈

Tagslist: @brxwrvth @callmemeelah @dootys @fluffy-little-demon @slash3rl0v3r

Word count: 874

It’s been a month and 3 weeks, Thomas kept count of how long you were gone, he slowly recovered from your escape, he felt a lot better and got back to how it was. It was still hard though, he cried less than how he used to now. He got used to tending to his own wounds… or didn’t care at all. Luda Mae would try to get him out the basement, it worked sometimes.

It was another night of silence, everyone was asleep but Thomas, for once he was out of the basement, he sat in his room, just laying there. He had trouble falling asleep, that’s why he would stay in the basement, cutting up meat would clear his mind and would drain his energy. Something just didn’t feel quite right though, he just had a strong feeling that someone was in the house, quickly but silently, he left his room to see if his senses were right.

You couldn’t believe you were doing this, you don’t even k ow why you were coming back yourself. It was a long way if you wanted to get back home on foot, so you had to come back, plus… you did feel a little guilty for leaving Thomas behind. That guilt stayed with you, it hurts you, you couldn’t imagine how he reacted to you gone. The hard part was for them to gain your trust again and not be chopped up into meat. You stood there by the table like an idiot.

The heavy footsteps approached down the stairs, you already knew who it was. Thomas looked at you from the bottom of the stairs, both of you looked at each other not knowing what to do or say, shakily, you have him a wave and a kind hearted smile, usually you’d have a fake smile. No, not this time, your smile was filed with sympathy, you weren’t gonna lie, you missed Thomas as well. “Hello Thomas,” You whispered, having both of your hands up to tell him that you mean no harm.

He didn’t know what to do, should he kill you for leaving? Should he hug you? It was like his feet were glued to the floor, just by the look in his eyes you could tell that when you escaped it affected him deeply, you wanted to move but his glare alone made you stay in the same spot. After what felt like hours of staring at each other, you took the first step, and then another… and another. Thomas kept his eyes on you, it could be another trick, you’re acting nice again! You took his hands into your own, his hands started shaking, remembering the memories he had with you gone.

“I’m so sorry Thomas, I didn’t know what I was thinking.” He frantically shook his head, he could be seeing things! His hands then touched your face just to make sure, you couldn’t help but just smile at him.“You’re not seeing things, I’m really here.” In a swift motion he picked you up and spinner you around, you’re back! You’re actually back at home with him! He didn’t have the heart to kill you, it just wasn’t right! Sure you did betray him, but you’re back! You practically couldn’t breathe due to his crushing hug.

Your hands patted his chest as a sign to let go, he put you down but still couldn’t contain his excitement, it’s been awhile since you saw him happy, “Let me guess.. the family still hates me and wants me dead?” Thomas replied in sign language, while you were there he reached you a few words to understand. “Hoyt and Monty are, mother on the other hand was upset but she got over you.”

You knew that yourself, you may have to gain all of their trusts back, this time you’ll won’t betray them, you’re here to stay, gaining their trust will take a while but it’ll be worth the wait. The next morning Thomas was scared to let the others see you, Luda Mae knew Thomas was hiding something, she was the first one to know, when she saw you she was mainly shocked that you came back. Just like Thomas, she was skeptical about you, Hoyt and Moty found out about you a day after.

As expected, Hoyt wanted to kill you, Thomas wouldn’t allow it. Monty really didn’t care anymore, You got Thomas to trust you first, it was easy, but you actually had to show him that you weren’t gonna leave. Luda Mae came next, she was kinda harsh with you, but just seeing you taking care of her son warmed her heart, she trusted you again but still kept a close eye on you.

Hoyt still hates you, there’s no point in trying to communicate with that man. You tried but he always ends up trying to kill you. It’s safe to say that you’re happy in your new home and is glad to be back in the Hewitt family.

[crapmagak]

Engage Drip Marketing: Framme

Well, looks like there’s no telling when these characters are gonna drop. Seems odd, but oh well. 

Today we get Framme, finishing up the starting Dragon Guardians. We’ve seen quite a bit of her already, so there isn’t too much information. Still worth checking out though. 

Again, these tweets were kindly translated by twitter user SatsumaFS

In her intro tweet…

Framme is a 33rd generation "Dragon Guardian", protecting the Divine Dragon in the Holy Land of Lythos. She is Clan's younger twin sister, and is more confident and energetic than him.

Then the cutscene tweet…

Framme's self-introduction. Although she's a Dragon Guardian, it seems that her admiration for Alear is more like the idolization from a fan than loyalty.

"I'm also a 33rd generation Dragon Guardian, Framme! I'm Clan's twin younger sister.

I've been waiting super long for you to wake up!"

She says "anata-sama"(あなた様) which is super respectful. Like Your Holiness or something if localizing.

In terms of first impressions, I was pretty indifferent at first. But now she’s reminding me of Mae from Echoes a bit, and she was one of my favorite characters. Still, not a fan of the whole “Alear fangirl” thing. I get that it makes sense in lore, but avatar worship always leaves a sour taste in my mouth. As such, she could very easily go the way of Edelgard for me. Hopefully she’ll have fun supports with other characters, though.

Other people noticed this earlier, but she and Clan seem to be the Cain and Abel of this game, at least in terms of colors. Personality wise, they remind me of this duo archetype in the older games; the young, mild mannered, and male mage, and his more upbeat, outgoing, female counterpart. Think Boey and Mae, or Azelle and Tailtiu. This time, though, they have a sibling dynamic, which is a fun way to shake up the formula.

I’m also fairly sure Framme will get an emblem ring too, though it is hard to say. If I had to guess, it’d be either Lyn or Ike. Framme uses asian based martial arts, and of the fe lords Lyn has the most asian influences in both design and fighting style (though Corrin also fits this criteria, I’m positive she’ll bond with the manakete of this game instead). Ike, on the other hand… to be honest, I have a hard time seeing who else of the major characters he could bond with. And fist fighting and using an ax kind of go together, a bit… Again, mainly having a hard time thinking who else he could go with. And Clan does bond with Micaiah, so there's also that.

Now it’s time for our crit clip…

Framme's starting class is Monk. A war monk that heals allies with staves. They also are adept at self-defense from Qigong training.

It should be noted that Framme is just a monk, not a war monk. None of the kanji between either word are the same, and there are specific terms for various warrior monks in Japanese, like Yamabushi. This means monk is probably a base class, with something like war monk or grandmaster acting as its promotion. Though, that does make me curious if we’ll get a more combat based fist classes, like brawler.

Edit: So, I didn’t catch this at first, but Framme’s class is specifically called Monk/ Qigong. Qigong is a form of martial arts which focuses on using “qi”, which is a type of life energy in certain spiritual beliefs. It certainly makes me curious. Earlier, I assumed states like Dragon, Cavalry, and Mystic detailed stuff like weakness and how terrain affects movement. Qigong is interesting. Will there be special anti qigong weapons, will monks and brawlers have an easier time moving through certain tiles? Or are these things terms for certain class families? Either way, I find myself eagerly waiting for the inevitable Famitsu article that clarifies how classes will be handled.

As for the clip, there's a surprising amount to chew on. We actually see a bit more menuing from Framme. From this, we can see that staves still have durability, while weapons don’t. She has two scrolls,  training and iron body arts respectively. A good deal of stats when selecting a weapon are shown as well. Before that, though, we have something really meaty, an option called “Chain Guard”.

What is chain guarding? Honestly I can’t say, but none of the other characters are shown to do it. Perhaps it’s a unique ability among martial arts classes. Seems like the kind of thing a famitsu article will cover though.

We also learn that fists have a weapon advantage over bows. While some have proposed a weapon triangle of Bows < Fists < Tomes < Bows, I think something else is going on. Both bows and tomes are gray, while fists are yellow. As such, I think it’s more likely fists beat bows and tomes, acting as an anti range weapon. Another thing of note is that she doesn’t double the archer. This can be explained by the weapon being a training scroll, which specifically doesn’t allow follow up attacks. Sadly, it seems like Framme isn’t a very combat focused unit, though, considering she couldn’t even kill her foe with a crit. Hopefully this is just the result of the training weapons being so weak, or poor Framme may find herself trapped in the heal bot mines.

Now when it comes to the map, there are some spicy things I took notice of. First, both Alfred and Celine are able to use their engage forms in this chapter, making me wonder if the concept is introduced here, or earlier. When Framme attacks, we also get to see a look at one of the walls, with large windows. They’re probably not important, but it's still a pretty sight. What really caught my eye, though, was a good chunk of empty space on the maps left side, with a stairway nearby. Seems like the kind of spot either new recruits or enemy reinforcements would enter.

So, to wrap things up, we have all the starting dragon guardians now. While the avatar worship isn’t great, they seem like a solid starting party. As for what comes next… I’d say Alfred and the crew we see in the windmill chapter are a safe bet. It’ll be interesting to get looks at characters outside of these heavily shown three, that's for sure. As for when we’ll see them… I have no fucking clue. Maybe we’re alternating between one and two characters a week, but at this point, only the social media managers know.

[flameleadsarc]

@lady-quen​ asked: [ TRINKET ] + corn shirt

We Don’t Talk About... | Currently Accepting.

[ For reference: this monstrosity ]

"Oh, so you’ve heard about that, huh?” The wicked grin Roy wore when he asked that question was a definite sign of trouble. “I’m guessing my sons complained about it, which means I did my job right. Anyway, if you want an explanation, there isn’t much of a deep meaning to it. I still go to thrift stores when I’m clothes shopping out of habit, and I came across that shirt when I was poking around. Normally, I wouldn’t bother buying something that gaudy---that was always more of Maes’s thing.”

The ducky pajamas, the pineapple shirt---those were just the memorable choices. Roy rolled his eyes as he remembered them.

“But, anyway, I looked at it, and I thought of about three or four puns that’d either make my sons laugh or groan at me. The shirt was pretty cheap, so I didn’t mind wasting the money on it just for the one-time laugh. Though, I haven’t worn it around Elicia yet, so it’ll have at least one more use. Still, I’d say it was worth it.”

[imagineaworlds]

I Love You (Part Fifty-Five) -- Aaron Hotchner

Written By: @desperately-bisexual

Request: None.

Warnings: Cursing. PTSD. Depression. Mentions of a hostage situation, shooting, murder, suicide, physical trauma.

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Greenaway!Reader

Word Count: 10,588

Timeline: Season 8 Episodes 13. Right after part fifty-four.

Criminal Minds Discord Server

Before the front door was even closed, Hotch grabbed my waist, and he pulled me into a hug so tight I thought my lungs would collapse. To be fair, after a moment of being caught off guard, I started squeezing him back with every ounce of strength I had, too. It had been such a long, stressful day. We did everything we could have to help Reid, but it wasn’t enough. I had sat across from him in our house just that afternoon, promising him that Maeve would be alright. I told him that she was going to survive for him, and that he would get to hold her in his arms, just as Hotch and I were holding each other that night. But I lied. Maeve… She… Well, she wasn’t as lucky as I was. When I was taken, I practically knew how to get myself out of it because of my training, but Maeve had been waiting around for her knight in shining armor to come rescue her.

Watching Reid break down over Maeve’s body, refusing to even touch her because he didn’t get to hold her while she was still alive… I couldn’t help but think about the contrast between them and us. I remembered when Hotch found me, he broke down out of happiness and relief. He was so glad that I was safe, that I was alive, and that we were going to have a baby. We were lucky because he got to hold me in his arms again, kiss my lips as much as he wanted, to say “I love you” until his throat was sore. We got another chance together, whereas Reid and Maeve didn’t even have their first chance. It all felt unfair.

For some reason, I almost wished that I could trade places with them, just for a bit, so that they could be holding one another like Hotch and I were, so that they could kiss each other for the first time, so that they could look each other in the eyes and say “I love you”. Even though I didn’t want to lose Hotch in a million years, it almost felt like we had stolen some of the time that Reid and Maeve deserved— even though that wasn’t the case, realistically. It just felt like it should have been them standing there, relieved to be with each other. Spencer had been through so much. He deserved to be happy. He didn’t deserve this mess. He should have been able to hold Maeve…

Hotch’s arms constricted around me more and I sort of felt his knees buckle. He nuzzled his face into the crook of my neck, breathing through his nose against my skin. I heard him sniffle lightly as a cold tear drop ran from his cheek and onto my neck.

“I’m here,” I cooed to him, pulling at the ends of his hair. “You’ll never lose me.”

That wasn’t guaranteed, though. For all I knew, I could have been lying to Hotch, too. Maybe someone would take me again, and they’d actually have the balls to end me. Maybe someone would take Hotch and I would be left to raise our family on our own… The thought made me want to throw up. I hadn’t put it in perspective like that. It was easy to think about dying— painful, but still easy. To think about losing Hotch randomly now, with our growing, happy family… My head started to spin, and I started to cry. I couldn’t lose him.

Hotch’s arms moved around me so that he could sweep me off my feet and cradle me close to his chest. I let him lift me off the ground, one of his arms sliding under my knees, his other one holding my back up. I kept my hold on his neck, letting him hug me as hard as he could as he slowly dropped to his knees.

We had all lost so much— Hotch more than anyone. But Reid had been through so many traumatic, unfair events. It all started with Tobias Hankle, and everything since then seemed like an attack on him, too. This… How was he supposed to recover from this? How were we supposed to help him?

That empty question kept me up all night. Hotch and I hardly even made it to the couch, still cuddled in each other’s arms, eternally grateful that we could be together. Nothing needed to be said. Nothing even needed to happen. We just sat in silence, listening to each other’s breathing, feeling the way our hearts beat in our chest, thinking about how things could have ended much differently in Hawai’i. All this time, we took each other for granted. We took our daughter for granted. If I hadn’t acted as quickly as I did when they took me on our honeymoon, and if Hotch hadn’t found me as soon as he did, then it was entirely possible that he wouldn’t have me—or neither of us would have our little ray of sunshine. We weren’t going to forget this. I don’t think anyone on the team was going to forget. Ever.

----

No one heard from Reid for about a week, and after an extremely tough case where everyone was still trying to reach out to him, I decided to head over there with Scarlet. I figured that he would be willing to see me if she was with me. After connecting the way we did during Maeve’s kidnapping, I thought that it was worth a shot. Maybe he would talk to me. If he wouldn’t reach out to his closest friends, like JJ and Garcia, maybe he would at least open up to someone who wasn’t as emotionally involved. It was easy to do that sometimes. Opening up to our loved ones was difficult because we never wanted to be judged or ridiculed by the people we knew best; but opening up to someone who was practically a stranger, like a therapist or someone on the internet, felt freeing. Since Reid and I had never been close, we hardly knew anything about each other. I’d said it before, but that was no one’s fault. It happened naturally. But now that he was suffering, and it was clear that he needed someone to talk to, I decided that I would at least try to be that shoulder he could cry on.

I adjusted Scarlet on my hip as I headed up the steps to Reid’s apartment. JJ had given me the address after I told her my idea, and she agreed that it didn’t hurt to try. When I reached the top of the steps, I stopped after noticing all of the gift baskets gathered in front of his door, all unbothered and unopened. I cocked a brow. That wasn’t right. Why were these all here, and why hadn’t Reid at least taken them inside once he knew no one was just outside, waiting to bother him? Was something wrong? Nothing felt wrong. But maybe that was why he hadn’t been in contact with any of us since Maeve’s death.

I stepped over the baskets to urgently knock on his door. “Reid, are you in there?” I leaned around Scar to get a look at the gift baskets, noticing the huge pink, cursive print that read: To Reid, From Garcia. I smiled lightly. Oh. I knocked again. “Reid, wellness check.” Nothing. “Sound off or I’m coming in.”

“Here,” I heard him respond weakly.

I let out a relieved sigh. “I brought Scarlet. Do you want to at least talk to her, if you won’t talk to anyone else?” I heard shuffling inside, the sound of a heavy piece of furniture being dragged around and books being kicked out of the way. And then the door opened. There was only enough space for Scarlet to fit through, so I caught the hint. “Okay.” I helped Scarlet down to the ground and held her tiny hands as she struggled to slowly waddle into his apartment. The door shut on my face the second Scarlet was inside. I scoffed. “I’ll be sitting out here, I guess.” I turned and slowly crouched onto the ground, groaning as I did so, catching myself before I could topple over after my foot hit one of the gift baskets Garcia left. I inspected it carefully. There was chocolate, containers of cherries and nuts, and stupid miniature figures from Doctor Who. I looked at Reid’s door while asking, “Hey, Reid, do you mind if I snack on some of this stuff?” I waited a moment for an answer, but nothing came, so I decided to just go for it. There was too much there for him to eat on his own, anyhow.

Halfway through a bag of Hershey Kisses, my phone started ringing. I leaned to the side so that I could grab it out of my back pocket while still chewing on the piece I had just popped into my mouth moments prior. Aaron Hotchner. I sighed as I answered the call. With a full mouth, I said, “Hey.”

“Hey.”

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah,” he answered honestly, “I just wanted to check to see if you got through to Reid.”

I looked over my shoulder at the door to see that there still wasn’t any movement or noise. “Well… He opened the door and let Scarlet inside, but he kept me out.”

“He let Scarlet in?”

“They really connected the day Mae—” I stopped myself. “He’s always been fond of her, baby. You remember when she was born. He had just lost Emily, and hearing that we named our daughter after her… I think something just clicked for him.” I trapped the phone between my ear and my shoulder so that I could unwrap another piece of chocolate. “He’s so good with her, baby. You should have seen him that day.”

“You don’t think it’s weird?”

I shook my head somewhat, still keeping the phone trapped. “Not at all. I think he’s just lonely.”

“But the whole team—”

“I think he needs someone impartial, Aaron.”

He sighed on the other end. “You’re right.”

I smirked. “I know.”

“When do you think you’ll be home?”

“Whenever one of them gets too tired or fussy to keep hanging out with each other.”

“E.T.A?” he teased.

“Not available.”

He laughed. “Fair enough.” I could hear him pouring himself a drink in the background, probably a glass of bourbon since the case we had gotten back from last night was a doozy, and his reward was a few drinks here and there whenever we made it through one like that. “I’m worried about him. I don’t want him to leave the team.”

“I know… I don’t either. But it’s his choice, Aaron. If it were you in his shoes, what would you do?”

“You know what I did.”

“Yeah, but you had me there to pick up the pieces. I mean, now, if you were in his shoes today—”

“Stop,” he demanded quickly. “Please.”

“I’m sorry,” I apologized sincerely. I reached to grab a gummy bear. Garcia had really outdone herself with all of these custom gift baskets that she clearly put together on her own. “It’s just been on my mind.”

“Mine, too.”

The steps just ahead of me started creaking, giving me a heads up that someone was coming. I looked up to see Morgan’s bald head slowly appear. I laughed to myself at the thought, watching as more and more of Morgan began revealing himself to me until he finally reached the top stop, at which point he looked over and spotted me. We both froze. A smile grew on his face, too. We both looked guilty when we realized that we had been caught coming to check on Reid, even though we knew that it was potentially futile.

“Baby, Morgan just got here. I’m going to have to call you back later.”

“Okay,” Hotch said, “call me when you’re on your way home.”

“Of course. I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

I hung up on Hotch, leaning to put my phone back into the pocket of my pants. As Morgan sighed and sat down next to me on the floor, I handed him a handful of chocolates. He silently thanked me. We both started snacking on the chocolates, crumbling up the small tin foil wrappers and piling them up between us. I rested my head on Morgan’s shoulder.

“He’ll only see Scarlet,” I whispered.

“Well, the kid’s always liked talking to kids,” Morgan whispered back. “He’s the only one who can get through to the child victims.”

“I know.”

“He would have made a great dad one day…” He threw a wrapper angrily at the wall opposite us.

I scrunched my brows together. “He can still—”

“Not after that.”

“I refuse to believe that.”

Morgan chuckled lightly. “You’ve always been an optimist.”

“And you’ve never been a pessimist. So, what gives?”

“Nothing.”

“And I refuse to believe that,” I teased.

Morgan looked down both sides of the hallway to make sure no one was around or eavesdropping. “You know how I’ve been teaching those Academy lessons on Saturdays?”

“Yeah, you make Prentiss go.”

“Yeah, I do.” He nodded. “Has anyone told you which drill I make my cadets do the most?” I shook my head in response. “Home invasion where an entire family is being held hostage. One adult male, one adult female, one son, one baby. Care to guess why I do that one the most?”

My shoulders fell and my eyes softened. All this time, I had been so caught up in the fact that, as Jack and Scarlet's parents, it was mine and Hotch’s responsibility to take care of them and protect them. I never stopped to ask myself how Morgan and Prentiss possibly felt responsible, too. Morgan was the one who first took the initiative to befriend me when I joined the BAU, and we had been best friends since. We had always been protective of each other, but that came with the territory of being field partners, friends, and now he was the godfather of Scarlet. He probably felt an immense urge to protect us because we were his family. I couldn’t stand the idea of facing another Foyet incident, but Morgan was likely terrified of it happening, too, because he didn’t want to be the one to find us.

“There are nights where I can’t sleep,” he explained, “because I have nightmares about what could happen if something bad happens and I can’t save you. You were the first person I had ever met who understood what I went through as a kid, and you were the only other person I knew that was just as damn stubborn as I was to not admit it. You were the one who held me when I found out that Garcia had been shot. You were the one who made sure that I was okay in New York, even though you were the one we should have been worried about. I was the shoulder you cried on for months after Haley’s death because you didn’t want to worry Hotch or make him more upset than he already was. And then Hotch called to tell me that someone took you in Hawai’i, and I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I worried endlessly every day that you were gone. I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t think about anything other than finding you because I wanted my best friend back. I wanted my partner back. I wanted my sister back. And when we found you, I was so relieved. It felt like I could finally breathe after holding my breath all my life because you were safe, you were in Hotch’s arms, and you were still fucking worried about me even though you shouldn’t have been. And then when Scarlet was born…” He choked on a light sob. “And you asked if I would be her godfather, I made a promise to myself in that moment that I would never, ever let anything happen to you guys ever again. You and Hotch have been through too damn much, and I can’t risk losing my partner again. So that was why I slept on your couch almost every day when Hotch was gone. I didn’t want to get a call in the middle of the night, calling me to a crime scene that looks eerily similar to all the shit we see at work, only to find that it’s you, Jack, and Scarlet. I couldn’t bear the thought, so I stayed as close as I could. Then when Hotch came back, and I knew I couldn’t sleep on your couch forever, I had to start working towards being efficient as hell in a situation like this. I look at family annihilator crime scenes all the time, and— you’re right, all I see is you and your family. But I don’t let it wear me down or distract me. I let it encourage me to do better, to try to stop those guys before they can hurt anyone else. There are times, though, sugar, like what happened with Maeve, and I can’t help but feel pessimistic. We’re supposed to help people like Maeve. We’re supposed to help families like yours. Yet we seem to fail nearly every time—”

“We don’t fail.”

“We’re always too late,” he argued. “That’s failing.”

“You know… Every time I’ve almost lost Hotch, I thought I was going to die. I’d see him in pain, and I’d struggle to even breathe. Those people we help… At least we’re making a difference in their lives so that they don’t have to know what that feels like.”

Morgan shifted uncomfortably while reaching for a candy. “Hotch struggled when you went missing. I’ll never forget that.”

“I know.”

“No, you don’t. You don’t really understand what it was like. Hotch’s reaction to seeing you hurt was worse than how Reid reacted, and he didn’t even lose you entirely. Reid was capable of holding himself back, of biting his tongue and regressing into silence while Maeve was still missing. Hotch, on the other hand, had been lashing out. He was so angry, so upset, so lost without you. The only thing he could focus on was finding you, and even then, he needed someone to keep him on task the whole time. But he found you, and he was so relieved, and he was himself again. He won for once and we could all tell that he was so grateful. But Reid lost. He didn’t get to feel that relief. It’s going to take him a very long time to recover from that. A long, long time.”

The doorknob suddenly creaked, causing Morgan and I to both jump to our feet. We stood at attention, shoulder to shoulder, watching as the door opened ever so slightly. My attention was lowered when I saw Scarlet come waddling out of Reid’s apartment. I reached down and carefully picked her up, groaning as I did so and felt my back strain. Morgan watched me silently, taking notice of my struggle, something that he was likely going to point out to Hotch later before I could even get home. Great.

As I propped Scarlet on my hip, I looked back up at the door that was closing in our faces. I figured that would be it, he wouldn’t want us around any longer, so I turned on my heels like I was going to make my way out of the building, but Spencer’s door stopped just in time before it could close all the way, and I saw one of his eyes peek around the corner. Reid got a good look at me, but all we could see was his left eye and part of his cheek.

“Can we—” Reid paused to clear his throat after he noticed how quiet and high-pitched he sounded. “Can we do this again next week?”

I looked to the side at Morgan to see his reaction since I didn’t know what to say or do. I mean, of course I wanted to oblige, but his question had caught me off guard for multiple reasons. For starters, I didn’t expect Reid to say anything to us that day; and next, was he really going to be like this for another week? Was he going to be like this for months? Maybe he should have been talking to a therapist and not a baby.

Morgan shrugged, letting me know that it was my decision.

My eyes met Reid’s one eye as Scarlet tried climbing around in my arms. She was always so damn fussy, I swear. “I think we'd both like that,” I answered, referencing me and Scar.

Reid nodded to thank me for understanding.

“Hey, kid,” Morgan stepped into his view to catch his attention. “Are you okay?” Reid closed the door within an instant, shocking Morgan. “Well,” he scoffed, “okay, then…”

I shrugged at him, not knowing what to tell him, then we left, heading home together.

----

After that, we kept up with the ritual for a few weeks. Every Sunday, which was when Maeve would usually call Spencer, I took Scarlet over to his place. It was nice. They hung out, and I relaxed. He never asked me to come in, he never even talked to me. He would open the door for her, let her waddle in, then he would let her come back out whenever they got bored. It worked. She was always excited to go, and she was always wiped when we were leaving.

About a month into it, Spencer kept the door open after Scarlet went in. I finally got to see him. His fair was so long, so flat, not at all puffy and lively like it normally was. He had bags under eyes, just like Hotch. His apartment reeked, I could smell it from where I was standing, and it looked like a complete wreck. I pouted at him. He shyly asked if I could help him with something, to which I nodded and carefully stepped into his apartment.

All of Garcia’s gift baskets were empty and stacked on his kitchen counter. He had eaten through everything. Thankfully, he had eaten something, but as for showering or cleaning his apartment, I couldn’t praise him as much. There were books scattered everywhere, pages ripped out of a few here and there, spilled coffee on the table, clothes littered around. I knew he was depressed, but if I would have known that the rest of his life had fallen apart like that, I would have kicked down the door in order to help him and hold him.

Spencer kept his eyes lowered as he whispered, “Can you help me clean up?”

I nodded eagerly. “I’d love to.”

I sent him to his bedroom to go shower while I started with taking all of the trash out to the dumpster behind the building and cleaned up any spills around the place. Coffee, sodas, orange juice. It was like he knocked it over and didn’t have the energy to fix it. I knew that feeling. Then, when he came back from his shower, he and I started working on picking up all of the papers, organizing them, then collecting the books that he had angrily thrown around. He didn’t say anything. I could tell he was ashamed of his state of living, but it really wasn’t his fault, and I wished more than anything that he understood that. I was just glad he asked for help before it got any worse.

As I finished putting back the last book Spencer had thrown on the floor, I turned to see that he was sitting down on the floor and pulling Scarlet onto his lap. She giggled and poked at his face. Reid didn’t mind, though. He let her play with his curls before making a move to playfully bite at her finger. She laughed and snatched her hand away. He smiled back at her and started bouncing her on his knee to keep her laughing.

I tried biting back a smile as I sat across from them on the floor. I made sure to keep my distance because they were sharing a moment, and this was the first time I had seen Reid smile in so long, I didn’t want to take that away from them. He deserved to be happy. After everything that happened, he deserved to forget about the burdens of the world and just focus on playing with Scarlet. He was always so good with kids, too. That was why I offered that he hang out with Scarlet rather than talk to me or Morgan or someone else. With Henry and Jack, Reid always just seemed to… click with them. I looked at how he was playing with Scarlet, and I knew right then and there that he was going to be the best father one day. I wanted to tell him, but I knew that after Maeve, he wouldn’t want to hear anything about that kind of stuff. That was understandable.

He finally looked up at me and asked, “Do you know why Scarlet’s the only person I’ll talk to?”

I leaned back, stretching my arms behind me to keep myself propped up. “I have my suspicions.” But that was all I said because I wanted to wait for his answer.

It didn’t take a profiler to know that Spencer Reid was hurting, and he thought that he needed to suffer alone. He didn’t want to burden others with his troubles, and he certainly didn’t want to sit around while someone would lie to his face while telling him: “It’ll be alright” or “She’s in a better place now” or “You’ll stop hurting eventually” or some other bullshit like that. I knew that if I lost Hotch, I wouldn’t want to hear any of it. It wasn’t going to be alright, Maeve deserved to still be with him and not in some “better place”, and, honestly, he was never going to stop hurting. If she was really a soulmate—like I assumed she was—then he was never going to get over it. And I wasn’t going to sit there and lie to him. But I knew that he was scared of talking to anyone because he didn’t know who understood him like I did versus someone like Morgan who was willing to lie to him just to make themselves feel better.

“There are so many things that I wanted to say to Maeve, but couldn’t. And there are things now that I wish I could you guys, but I… I really don’t want people’s pity. I just wanted someone to talk to who would listen and not judge me. I want to be able to speak freely, to say the things I wanted to say to Maeve, to admit the things I want to say to the team, and… and I’ve found that talking to a baby is the best way to do that. You know, she’s still so young that she’ll sort of listen while she fusses in my arms, which helps distract me from wanting to cry all the time. And she doesn’t really know how to say anything except for ‘mom’ and ‘dad’ and ‘curls’.”

“Curls!” Scarlet cheered while leaping forward to reach for Reid’s hair.

He laughed and let her pull lightly on the strands of his long hair. “Like that.” When she started pulling too hard, he tickled her stomach to get her to let go. In a fit of laughter, Scarlet felt weak, collapsing in his arms while trying to fight him to make him stop. He gave up after a few more seconds. “I talk a lot about Maeve with Scarlet,” he admitted to me. “I talk about how much I miss her, and she listens. I’ve been telling her stories about our phone calls— her favorite one is the one where Maeve told me she loved me for the first time. It’s my favorite one, too. But, most of all, I’ve just been talking through my feelings with her, and it’s helped tremendously. Is that pathetic?”

“No,” I insisted quickly. “I’m glad that you’re at least getting the chance to talk to someone. It’s never good to bottle things up, Spencer, you know that. Talking to someone—even if it is just a baby—is a good first step towards healing. I’m proud of you.”

Scarlet started throwing a tantrum because she was getting tired and wanted to go home, so I let her fall into my arms while cradling her and cooing her to calm down. I wanted to stay with Reid more than anything… but duty called. The baby wanted home, and I had to give in. So, I stood, and Spencer saw me to the door. Though the hallway was just there, and I could tell that he was eager to be alone again, I turned to inspect him one more time, and I pushed his curls out of his face with my fingers. He let his eyes flutter shut.

“I’m proud of you, Spencer. Truly.”

His lip quivered as he tried to hold a sob back. Before I could see him crack, though, he practically shooed me out of his place and shut the door on my face. I sighed and looked at Scarlet. She was already asleep in my arms, sucking on her thumb while snoring. She was so like her dad.

When I got home, I found Jack passed out on the couch with his homework on the floor. Hotch was sitting with him on another cushion, reading the news on his phone. I leaned over the back of the couch and kissed his cheek. He smiled and turned his face to look at me before pressing a kiss directly against my lips. After we parted, he reached to take Scarlet from me. With my arms free, I stretched. He chuckled at me as I walked around the couch so that I could sit with him, stopping so that I could take a chance to kiss Jack and tuck him under a blanket, then I collapsed against Hotch.

“He let me in today,” I said. Hotch couldn’t believe it. “We cleaned up his place. I don’t think he’s okay, but he will be.” I nuzzled my head against his side.

“I didn’t want it to be him,” Hotch whispered.

I cocked a brow at him. “What are you talking about?”

“Out of everyone on the team, I didn’t want it to be him who had to go through what I went through.” He looked at me. “He’s so young… and he’s alone… He has no one to fall back on. He still doesn’t understand the world, and he doesn’t even understand himself. At least with Haley—” He stopped when Jack squirmed on the couch while yawning and rolling over. When we were sure that he was still asleep, Hotch continued. “At least with Haley, I had you, I had Jack… and I understood myself and the world enough to understand what was happening and why it was happening. But Spencer… He doesn’t have any of that. He’s like my family, Y/N, and I didn’t want it to be him… Anyone but him.”

I didn’t know what to say to any of that.

Hotch flung his arm around my shoulders, pulling me into his side, then he kissed my forehead. I nuzzled against him. After spending the afternoon with Reid, I realized even more now just how lucky we were. I didn’t have to worry about missing Hotch. I didn’t have to kill myself over the fact that I wouldn’t get to hold him ever again because he was there, and he was holding me, and I was his, and we were watching our children sleep peacefully. Just to make sure it was all real, though, I grabbed Hotch’s free hand and kissed his knuckles.

“I love you,” he whispered against my hair.

“I love you more.”

He chuckled. “I’m not sure that’s possible.”

“Don’t make me get all cliché on you, Agent Hotchner.”

As we chuckled again, we relaxed and snuggled against each other, but we didn’t fall asleep. We couldn’t. It was too hard to rest while knowing how easy it was to lose everything. It reminded me of how we were after Haley died. We were paralyzed, but at least we had each other to get through it, and we had Jack to encourage us to get better. Spencer had no one. Spencer didn’t have a loved one to lean on, he didn’t know how to open up to people, and he didn’t know how to deal with his emotions. It was going to destroy him.

------

criminal minds family: @peggy1999 @gorgeousdarkangel @alex--awesome--22 @oceaneblu @brithedemonspawn @absolutemarveltrash @bshelley322 @rousethemouse @sunshinepower17 @weexinling @pettttyyyc​ @Braty-angel

[riarevenge]

Molly Mae is ridiculous. Thoughts?

yeah she is but are we shocked? she’s never seemed smart has she really. i don’t get why influencers think we want their commentary on socioeconomic issues when they’ve never even tried to realise what someone living on the poverty line is like. i always talk about this with my mates and how the cycle of poverty especially generations worth is so so hard to break. influencers and a lot of people who go into creative fields don’t realise how much of a privilege that is. it’s a privilege to grow up and say im gonna be a singer, or im gonna be a model or whatever the case may be and not one day have someone burst tha and say, aw you’ve got the talent or the look or the hard work ethic but guess what, that’s not gonna insure you save you and this family and your new family in the future, find a dream that does. it’s so fucking annoying seeing so many aspiring influencers and creative uncertain fields being so up their own arse and not realising that is privilege! me and the poor girlies, we don’t have tha at all. mate, half my mates and i are going into careers that yeah we dream about but that’s also because those careers are sure fire ways of getting paid and securing a life that wasn’t like our parents or our childhoods. molly mae saying there’s 24 hours i a day, girl you do nothing for like maybe 20 of them. nothing at all. the fact is, she’s saying you can accomplish anything and sadly that’s not true. it’s a privilege to go into something uncertain, a privilege to say im gonna be an influencer or start the next big boy band because i promise you heaps of poverty babies like myself have big neon coloured dreams that had to be put on a shelf because i don’t have the starting point someone like molly has. she didn’t even fucking apply to be on love island the sneaky cow, she was given a creative directors position for what?? her creativity? WHERE? mate she’s insane, acting like the workers at PLT can afford to chase their dreams and grind when they’re being paid 3.50 an hour, get outttttt. there’s 24 hours in a day but that doesn’t mean anything mate, doesn’t mean we all start the race at the same starting line. she sounds like miss thatcher with a mad spray tan on

[prettyboyjackhughes]

-It’ll all be worth it in the end- |M. Marner| [Part 1]

Thanks to @workhorsefromwhitehorse24​ for all her help on this! I’m super proud of this and can’t wait for you guys to read it! Thank you for all the love and support!!

Carter wasn’t dumb. He knew how much I loved to push his buttons. I mean, it was kinda my job as his little sister. He’d been ridiculously protective over me since we were little. That may have been due to the fact that I was only 16 months younger than him, or just that I was his little sister, but either way, he took his job as my one and only big brother very seriously. It had always been just the two of us, growing up. We got into more than our fair share of trouble, destroying things in the process most of the time. Our mom always called us the twin terrors, even though we weren’t actually twins. But we did everything together. Nine times out of ten, if you found one of us, you found both of us. And that was how it was supposed to be tonight, the first game of the playoffs. Carter and I had a tradition that before every game, no matter what, we did a little handshake that he had claimed as his good luck charm. So before every game, I was in the locker room with Carter.

"Well I'm definitely in the wrong place." I said, glancing around at all the Leafs equipment around the hall way. I knew my way around Wells Fargo Center, but since this was an away game and we were the away team, we were playing at Scotiabank Arena which was an arena I wasn’t familiar with. When Carter had told me to meet him outside the locker room before the game, I had figured I’d be able to find my way there. But now, standing outside of what I figured out to be the Leafs’ locker room, made me realize I had no idea how to find my brother. As I glanced around, I caught sight of a guy walking away from me. As I jogged to catch up with him, I collided with a tall, brown-haired boy.

“Ouch!” I shouted, falling to the ground.

“Oh god, sorry!” The boy said, getting his balance and looking down at me as he reached down to help me up. He glances between my face and the Flyers logo on my t-shirt, finally settling on my face.

“You okay?” He asks, his eyes coming to rest on my face. I nod, pushing my hair back out of my face.

“Uh…anything I can do to make up for the fact that I took you out?” He asks, rubbing the back of his neck and smiling nervously at me. I look him up and down, having to look up a little to see the top of his head.

“You could tell me your name.” I say, smiling at him. His face looked familiar, but then again, most of the guys Carter played against in the NHL looked familiar to me But he was cute. He had dark brown hair, a kinda goofy smile, and blue eyes that pulled me in.

“Oh yeah sure. I’m Mitch. And you are…?” He said, sticking his hand out for me to shake. I shake it, nodding as I do.

“I’m Sawyer. Let me guess, you play for the Leafs?” I say, crossing my arms and pointing at the Leafs logo and the number 16 spread across the sweatshirt he was wearing. He glanced down and looked back up at me with a smile.

“Guilty. Flyers fan?” He asked, leaning against the wall.

“Well sorta. My older brother is the starting goalie for tonight. So I’m a fan because of him.” I say, turning around to show him the 79 and Hart on my back. As I turned back around, more of his teammates started to make their way out into the hallway and my phone started to vibrate.

“Oh shoot, I probably need to go find my brother. Um, it was nice meeting you, Mitch.” I said, secretly wishing I didn’t have to go. I tugged my phone out of my pocket, seeing Grace’s name on the screen. I wave goodbye to Mitch who looks like he wants to say something as I press my phone to my ear and hurry back down the hallway.

“Hey, sorry I got lost. Tell Carter I’m on my way!” I said, glancing around to figure out where I need to be going.

“You’d better hurry up. Hartsy is starting to do his freak out older brother thing.” Grace says. I roll my eyes and end the call. Grace is Carter’s girlfriend, has been since they were 18. They’ll probably get married, if Carter has anything to do with it. Grace is also one of the trainers for the Flyers so they spend practically every waking minute together. The 3 of us share an apartment, which makes things interesting. We’ve managed to find a good balance for the 3 of us though. Most of the time, Carter and Grace spend pretty much the whole day at the rink while I have classes at UPenn. Then in the evenings, on the rare occasion we’re all home at the same time, we each take turns cooking dinner. Carter is the worst cook out of the 3 of us so usually it’s Grace or I cooking. When there’s an away game, Grace travels with the team sometimes but usually she’s home with me. It’s a lot of fun living with Grace and Carter. But it’s usually not just us at the apartment. Lately, Nolan Patrick, who has claimed boy best friend for me, and a few of Carter’s other team mates have been hanging out at the apartment.

I finally find all the signs for the Flyers locker room but run into a problem. Security. I glance down and realize I forgot the pass that Grace and I had both been given before the game. I groan and walk towards the man standing by the locker room door. He glances at me, then puts his hand out to stop me.

“Sorry young lady, you can’t go in there.” I start to plead my case then see a familiar head of shaggy hair walking towards me.

“It’s okay, she’s training staff.” Nolan says, grabbing my arm and pulling me inside the locker room with him.

“Alright, sorry about that, sir.” I muffle a laugh as the man calls Nolan sir. He rolls his eyes and drags me along with him to where Grace, Carter and a few other guys are standing. Nolan is my best friend. We got really close when I first moved here, at the beginning of last year. He’s claimed me as his “Baby Cat”, which is a weird nickname that Kevin Hayes gave him, but I’ll never admit to Nolan that I actually really love the nickname. Even though he seems all dark and kinda scary sometimes, I can tell I’m a little bit of a soft spot for him. Grace leans against the wall, watching Carter and looking very amused. A few of his team mates are watching from the doorway, also looking amused. He’s doing the whole pacing, running his hand through his hair a thousand times thing he does when he’s worried about me.

“Chillax Hartsy. I’m here and I made it mostly in one piece.” He turns around, glaring at me.

“You were supposed to be here 15 minutes ago! Where were you?” I roll my eyes and reach out my hand. He points his finger at me, glaring still but softens as I nudge his finger away with my hand.

“Do the damn handshake Hartsy!” One of his team mates yells as they start to gather in the hallway to get ready to head out onto the ice for warmups. The longer he’s been in the NHL and playing for the Flyers, the more his team mates have started to pick up on how important the handshake we do is to him. They had also started to say it’s a part of their pregame routine, claiming it’s the reason they win.

“We’ll talk about this later, you’re not home free, Sawyer Mae.” He says we do our little handshake. He claims that it helps him but I think he’s just a little superstitious. I nudge Nolan as he walks past me and heads for the door. He and the boys head out onto the ice and Grace drags me with her back to where my parents are sitting.

“You should’ve seen your brother.” She says, laughing as we walk back out to our box. Usually, Grace and I would just sit in normal seats, if she wasn’t working. But since Mom and Dad were coming to the game, Carter got box tickets for all of us.

“He always freaks out before games. And always assumes I’m gonna forget to come down and meet him. This one is even worse cause it’s the freakin playoffs baby!” I say, hopping around a little and making Grace laugh. In the 3 years that Carter and Grace have been together, Grace has become the big sister I’ve always wanted. When I was younger, I loved having Carter as my big brother but I always secretly wanted a big sister. And now, I had Grace. She and I get along so well and she’s the perfect big sister. She and I would gang up on Carter, teasing him about everything when we were at home. We would watch the Bachelor and cry over sappy romance movies together. My favorite thing to do with Grace was get a little drunk, sometimes just tipsy, and sing karaoke with her when we went out. She had been there when I first moved to Philly a little over a year, helping me get to know the city and working through all my homesickness with me. She was easily my best friend.

“Earth to Sawyer, come in Sawyer.” Grace says, nudging my shoulder. I blink, bringing myself back to reality. I look down to the ice where both teams are skating around the ice, going through warmups, when a certain number 16 catches my eye. He’s skating around, weaving in and out of his teammates. He seems to talk to everybody, laughing and joking throughout all of warmups. I can hear Grace talking to my parents and the rest of my family in the box with us. She calls my name but all I can focus on or think about is the brown haired boy who I ran into today.

“Who are you watching?” Mom asks, sliding up next to me as I stand at the railing.

“Oh no one. Just Nolan.” I say, panicking and taking my eyes off of Mitch. She smiles and nudges me.

“Have you ever considered going on a date with Nolan? He’s a nice boy.” I turn to look at my mother and it takes every ounce of will in my 21 year old body not to gag.

“No Mom. Nolan and I are just friends. He’s not my type.” Mom shakes her head and walks away, leaving me at the railing by myself. I can hear Grace’s laugh before she’s even beside me.

“Shut up Grace.” I say, rolling my eyes and coughing back a laugh.

“Oh but Sawyer, Nolan is such a nice boy.” She says, still dying. This time, I actually do gag, laughing along with Grace. I let myself drift back to my imaginary land, thinking of my next way to drive Carter insane. As I watch Mitch skate around the ice after an icing, I feel like a lightbulb goes off in my head. Carter has always taught me that hockey boys were bad news, no matter who they were or what they were. He said there were no good ones, no matter who they were. I always rolled my eyes, ignored him, and have definitely dated my share of hockey boys growing up. But the one thing I will never admit to him is that most of them were just as bad as he had warned me. But do I learn from my mistakes? Nope. As a plan starts to form in my head, Grace glances at me.

“Oh no I know that look. What are you planning?” She asks, leaning over and resting her arms on my armrest.

“Nothing...Just my next way to drive Carter crazy.” She laughs and rolls her eyes.

“You’d better be careful, Sawyer. You know how on edge he’s been lately.” I nod, my eyes still on Mitch.

“Trust me, it’ll all be worth it in the end.” I said, looking over at Grace. The second the words left my mouth, I knew what I was going to do.

[slashingdisneypasta]

Horror Villains Reactions: To S/O Who Thinks They’re Smiling/Laughing ‘Too Much’

So, I’ve been having this problem, where you know, I’ve been happy. I know, it’s the worst. A curse.

But then I thought I was looking like a crazy person in here all alone in my bedroom, because I’m smiling and laughing a lot (And then I tell myself Stop it Hannah, damnit. We wanna be happy. Set a good example, dang!) and I thought this would make a cute reaction post! Total fluff! So here we go.

Remember, DON’T EVER THINK THIS WAY, ITS GOOD TO BE SMILING, I LOVE YOU

I hope this cheers some of ya’ll up ^^ 

~~~

Billy Loomis: “Yeah, I noticed. But ‘too much’? No way. No such thing, come on.” *Gives you hug* // Also will probably make fun by asking if its because your cheeks hurt and then hooking his fingers into the corners of your mouth and tugging (Not enough to hurt!!)

Bubba Sawyer: Noooooooooooooooooooooo! Be happy Y/N! Bubba will c r y.

Carrie White: She thinks that’s very silly of you and, also, she tells you a bit shyly that she’s noticed and thought you looked really pretty.

Chucky / Charles Lee Ray: “The fuck? Get here and let me punish you for being an idiot- get here- hey.” When you refuse to go over to him, he grins. “*Tells an inside joke between you two that he knows you think is hilarious, just to be a shit.*”

Chop Top Sawyer: “Reeeaaaalllllyyyyyy?” Chop Top turns on you, a mischievous grin on his lips. // He’s gonna chase you.

Drayton Sawyer: Don’t be ridiculous, Drayton says, sighing deeply. That’s the craziest idea he’s heard for a while. Also, he secretly loves your smile- he’s just too nervous to say it. Why do you think he’s always making you food he knows you like!

Debbie Loomis: Deeply rolls her eyes and makes a ‘tut’ sound, then turns to you again and exasperatedly smiles, shaking her head. “Do be ridiculous, sweetheart.”

Freddy Krueger: *Points sternly at you with a knife finger* Smile! *Bastard will chase you if you refuse, but he means well!*

Inkubus: Compliments you on your smile- he loves it! You can’t possible smile too much for him!! He understands, though, like Mickey and Stu that maybe your mouth hurts or something and you can have cuddles.

Jason Voorhees: Does a freaken double take. You’re… too happy?? I’m sorry, Jason doesn’t comprehend. He thought he was doing a good job- please, explain to him. He’s new to the whole ‘human’ thing (Even though he was one, obviously). When he understands though, he’ll be exasperated and just pat your head.

Jedidiah Sawyer: He thinks: Man, I wish I had that problem. // On the outside: He sits with you and he’ll massage your cheeks with his thumbs.

Jennifer Check: “I have a solution for you,” // You: “What?” // Her: “If I’m making out with you, you can’t smile.” *A flirty smile* // You: “Well, I guess, its worth a try!” *You try to sound sarcastic. *

Jill Roberts: For a split second, she thinks about saying something sarcastic or mean… but then she can’t bring herself to do it and just grants you a little genuine smile and runs her hands affectionately through your hair/over your head.

Luda Mae Hewitt: “Oh, sweetheart… “She laughs, very gently and shakes her head. She thinks that’s slightly silly and very cute, but also on some level understands. “Okay, do you want some downtime then? We can sit and have some tea?” // Luda Mae’s great.

Mayor Buckman: Thinks he’s sneaky and spends the rest of the day doing things he knows makes you laugh or happy. He just wants his sunshine to be happy all the time!!

Michael Myers: He will fucking tickle you, don’t test him.

Mickey Altieri: He understands. He thinks it’s pretty damn cute that you think that, because its good to be happy!! But he will bring you into a hug so you can hide your face in his chest. “Baby, baby, its fine! It’s a good thing.”

Midnight Man: Okay, he really doesn’t understand humans right now.

Pamela Voorhees: Oh my god, she thinks you’re the cutest thing. Her sunshine!

Patrick Bateman: Man, he has this problem too. Not because he was actually happy, but because he sometimes can’t tell how much smiling is too much for his act. You guys talk about this // Secretly he loves seeing you smile so much.

Pennywise (OG): Oh, my god, he will be a shit and tell sooooo many jokes. He just likes to see you happy!

Pennywise (New): Takes your jaw in his hands and brings your face close to his, then makes the biggest, sharpest smile possible. I don’t know why, he just deemed it fitting. Makes you smile some, at least. Probably ends up getting stuck with you massaging your cheeks cuz they HURT.

Roman Bridger: Will massage your cheeks for you with his thumbs. I mean, he’s a bit of stuck up twat-ish guy, but he completely changes around you honestly. Becomes so much happier and nicer. He’s loved and wanted, for once! 

Sheriff Hoyt/ Charlie Hewitt: “What th- Girl/boy, you take that back.” If you insist, he’ll sigh and ask if you want to go on a ride with him, just to cool off a bit. Its his answer to all problems but it generally works.

Stu Macher: Okay, he will be a bit of a shit at first and make you laugh some more with his stupid cute jokes, but then when you starts complaining about your cheeks hurting or you get upset at him he’ll bring you into a hug so you can hide your face in his jumper.

The Man: “Baby girl/boy… “He moans, exasperated but grinning at you. “No… “

Thomas Hewitt: Similar to Bubba, he wants you to be happy all the time, so uh… he has no sympathies. This sounds like the right time to settle you in his lap and have cuddles.

[isthisitbytaylornicole]

"is this it?" BLOG POST #1: hey, you! meet adulthood. the ghetto, if you will...

Author's Note:

First of all, welcome to my blog! It feels so surreal to be saying that because this is something I have wanted to do for so long, but fear, laziness, and "plans" kept me from doing so. I am so happy that you have decided to take time out of your day to sit and read my post. I'm so excited to be able to share these stories with you all about my dirty little cousin, Adulthood. She doesn't mean any harm, she just doesn't know any better. Trust me. I hope you are intrigued by what I have to say and I would love to chat with you in the comments about these topics. Enjoy!

"Don't you find it odd, that when you're a kid, everyone, all the world, encourages you to follow your dreams. But when you're older, somehow they act offended if you even try."

-Unknown (The Hottest State)

I can say, without hesitation, that I was not fully prepared for what adulthood had to offer. She came without remorse, but made sure to bring all sorts of debt, the occasional iffy encounter, and topped it all off with a micro-aggression or two (or ten). In these instances where I was thrown into situations dealing with money, racism, self-identity, relationships, etc., how did I handle these episodes with minimal detrimental impact on my inner psyche? The answer; I didn't because I didn't know how to.

I vividly remember the process of applying to colleges, final senior presentations, deciding what school I wanted to go to, all while being molded in the belief that college was the best option, if not the only option, for young, black, teenagers, like myself, who wanted to be successful. Please don't misunderstand me when I say this. I definitely agree with the fact that as young adults we should be able to take advantage of all the opportunities given to us including continuing an education at a four-year institution and experiencing all that college has to offer like social engagements and freshmen fifteen. However, I do not believe that is the only way to solidify success in a society where situations like going to a four year conventional university have become the norm. While we are molded into believing a four-year college is one of only three options for teenagers of color [the other options being pregnancy or prison as stereotype culture has taught us] we are limited in the knowledge of only knowing how to make it TO college, and not how to be successful THROUGHOUT and beyond college and I am a prime example.

Due to the stigma of black high school dropouts, often times, high schools in cities like Detroit (who primarily house students of African decent) strive for one-hundred percent high school graduation and college acceptance rates ,as apposed to, one-hundred percent college fulfillment and graduation rates. In other words, they don't care how you get home from the party, as long as you were invited. And I mean who can blame them?! While primarily white high schools with students trying to decide if they want to attend either Harvard or Yale are spitting out graduates left and right, primarily black high schools can't even get scantron sheets on time for their junior students to take the SAT, which is it supposed to be an equal opportunity test for all students, accept those with brown skin of course. (This happened at my high school btw.)

Then I get to college only to see that all of my professors are old, white, dirty men, which is not in fact the demographic I grew up within. Is this it? Is this what my parents are paying almost forty-thousand dollars a year for? Is this your King?! 👨🏼‍🏫Well, I'm here now and I guess I need to stick this out. Never mind being one of only four black students in an intro to political science class of almost forty-five. Never mind having a black roommate who didn't know if she wanted to be Ebony or Ivory that day. Her white boyfriend did tell me I had nice skin one day which was nice of him. Never mind me working at the McDonald's right across the street from my dorm my freshman year where almost everyday somebody I knew would come and try to get free food from me. (That didn't really have anything to do with my hardships during my time at college, but it was irritating trying not to get caught smuggling cookies and McFlurries out of the store every other day. I was too nice obviously.) Never mind having to refrain from using any kind of ebonics in order to fit into conversations and/or lectures about political science topics in order to sound more professional and educated to my white peers and professors (A.K.A code switching😶‍🌫️ 🎛). Overall, the majority of my time spent inside the college classroom setting was often done in ways that involved me faking it until I made it, until I didn't make it.

I dropped out of college at the end of my sophomore year and at the time it seemed like my biggest failure. Not only did I feel like I failed myself, I felt like I failed my family and closest friends and quite literally I failed most of my classes😬. Not to mention the thousands of dollars in student loans left for me to pay back which was bound to happen anyways but that is a totally different conversation for another post. (Sallie Mae better hope she don't catch these hands.) I felt like, as do most young adults my age, there was a timeline on my success. If I didn't get that college degree in four years, and have a car and apartment by twenty, my life had no worth. This narrative was brought on not only by my school environment growing up, but it was brought on by the climate that we live in today. As young people, we are so easily influenced by pop culture, social media, YouTube, sports media, our peers, music and so many other ideals constantly bombarding our everyday lives. We're shown these unrealistic almost fantasy-like scenarios in which all you have to do it make a prank video in order to make money and once you have money, fame, and a VLONE shirt, boom, you have worth! Why am I rushing to fulfill these egregious standards set by these dull influencers who can't even spell egregious. Success does not have only one definition. To me, success is defined by your own standards and not society's. And college is not a one stop shop!

The picture of adulthood has been painted so monochromatically that I have at times lost my ability to dare to dream bigger than what has been laid before me with society's crusty hands. Yes I plan on finishing my education at a four year college, but at the time, my college experience would not have allotted me the opportunity to discover the world of Cyber Security and the many job opportunities and networks I've been exposed to.

All in all, take advantage of ALL the opportunities you encounter whether they are laid out in front of you or even if you have to network to find them.

This was just a piece of the perspectives I am excited to offer as I continue to share my stories in this world of blogging and rediscovery. I hope I didn't scare any of you off already because in my next blog piece I will be diving into more aspects of adulthood and the whole notion of relationships(romantic and non); do we really need them tho? and how do we weed out the bad ones and water the fruitful ones?

PLEASE TUNE IN ON TUESDAY FOR MY NEXT INSTALLMENT OF "IS THIS IT?" BY TAYLOR NICOLE AND THANK YOU FOR READING!💛

By: Taylor Nicole

LEAVE YOUR THOUGHTS AND COMMENTS BELOW! I WOULD LOVE TO CHAT.💛

[dishearteningmediocrity]

Happy Frankenversary! (Well, I thought it was today, but I guess in some places it came out earlier?) Anyway, to celebrate, have this rather sniffy review from the Washington Evening Star. The writer concludes that “it is by no means a 100 per cent picture” but admits “the public prefers to be frozen into human jelly.” He says nice things about Colin Clive, though. Kind of. After calling him ugly. And about Mary Shelley, after calling her “Mrs. Percy Bysshe Shelley (the second).” Sigh.  For a transcript, click below.

“Frankenstein” Freezes the Audience and Shows Some Fine Camerawork

Thriller Brings Another Unhandsome Hero, Unusual Direction and a Story Which Is a Bit Weak. An Old Tale Has a Remarkable Revival.

By E. de S. Melcher

In “Frankenstein” Colin Clive proves himself a major screen actor. One of Britain’s noted loans to this hemisphere, his shrewd methods of being likable and ugly at the same time are worthy of much consideration. The fact that he makes the role of the doctor stand out at all in this film is a great tribute to his ability, since the ol’ davil monster is pictorially the object upon which most of one’s horrified thoughts are glued, and the doctor comes in as sort of a mechanical manipulator.

Mr. Clive continues the list of unhandsome heroes--such as Mr. Gable--who are so in favor at the moment. Although his features do not stick to the straight and narrow, they are unhandsome only as to classic Greek modes and would fare very well anywhere, setting off dark evening dress or golf homespuns. Clive, for instance, whose mouth sags slightly at the corner, is said to be continuing that excitement among the weaker sex which Gable put the match to not so long ago. Since he strode neurotically through “Journey’s End” one lady in particular claims not to have gone to a single film, vowing that she would wait for his return. She went the other day, to the Rialto, after a cinema starvation of more than a year, and found the same crowds--in fact, more crowds--and her idol, Mr. Clive, to reward her for her patience.

James Whale, the director of “Frankenstein” and also a great friend of Mr. Clive, has “lighted the latter in an unusual manner. He has taken the camera and caught the British actor very many times off his guard, picturing him to disadvantage rather than otherwise.

This all goes to prove that the public no longer wants gentlemen with straight noses and regular features. The pretty boys of yesteryear have had their fling. Give the public a humanly possible face and a voice which is reminiscent of the parlor at home rather than the theater in the Hippodrome days, and the actor’s heyday is almost assured.

What is particularly outstanding among these Britishers as far as their acting is concerned (and Arthur Wontner in last week’s “Sherlock Holmes” proved the same) is their ease and naturalness. As Sherlock Holmes, for instance, Wortner scarcely moved further than into a chair or out of one. Yet when he talked slowly and distinctly he was worth listening to and one didn’t feel that fidgeting restlessness which is often so evident in some of the more local celebrities. Clive, too, doesn’t jump before the camera. He acts to himself rather than to the lens. When he is meant to be hysterical and emotional he doesn’t burst into the very teeth of the camera. He has something about him which undoubtedly must be called “good acting.”

*******

Mrs. Percy Bysshe Shelley (the second) the author of this tale of woe and nightmare would probably have been pleased at the film replica of her Frankenstein in the shape of Clive. She would, too, probably have approved of the monster, except for the strange noises which come out of him, and which for some reason are sometimes so small and puerile that they sound like nothing so much as an angered bull pup. What undoubtedly would have surprised her most would have been to see the reception which the public is according this old, old story of the criminal brain which roused a giant robot to life and made him a monster of uncomplimentary proportions.

Strictly speaking, this is by no means a 100 per cent picture. It gives its audience the proper chills and fevers and sends it home to an unwanted meal, but according to all the laws of film fashioning it doesn’t hang well enough on its story prop to burst into superheadlines. The love  affair is a weak little bit which does nothing save detract--and all the sequence which has to do with the wedding, and the little girl who is drowned, and the young bride who runs into the monster, is all weird, but not at all convincing.

****

At this point one might recall the fact that Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley wrote the story when she was scarcely 21 years of age. It was undertaken as a kind of week end frolic in Switzerland, where she had gone with her husband and Byron. Each of them decided to compose something on the order of the modern thriller, although the supernatural was more fashionable than the realistic. Mary Shelley’s contribution to the literary genre was “Frankenstein,” which proved not only popular in its day, but one of the most noted of this lady’s many interesting works.

That its popularity has survived up until now may be witnessed by the crowds who have gone to see it at the Rialto. Although there was a film tear promoter in town with Mae Marsh giving a grand performance in “Over the Hill,” and although one could laugh at that guttural “mug” Bert Lahr (still not as funny as he was in “Hold Everything”), and at Joe Brown, and one could have a splendid evening at “Way Back Home,” which the Lunt family enjoyed so much when they were here, it seems as though the public prefers to be frozen into human jelly.

All last week the lines at the theater rivaled the rush for front row seats at the National.