#but i gotto be honest

[sparklingoctopus]

It's so sad but also kinda funny

[thefuseoftemptation]

LET ME

EDDIE MUNSON X GN!READER

WARNING(S): cussing, Eddie being well, Eddie. hurt/comfort. NOT PROOFEAD.

—

Eddie hasn't gotten word from you in a week and he wasn't sure what to think.

While on one hand you were known to sometimes up and leave without letting him know, which sent him over everytime, on the other hand- there was the current and frequent thought of something having happened to you and he just didn't know. Which in this case as of now, wasn't any more easing to his already unsetttled self.

And it all resulted to him here. Trying to get you to open the door that he'd been waiting at for the last few minutes. He cursed you for taking your time to get to it, that is if you were here.

Eddie would've just used the key you lent him a while back but to honest,he can't remember where he put it. He never had to use it until now because you'd always leave it unlocked for him to come through.

"C'mon c'mon c'mon," was all he could repeat as he stood there, pacing in spot. Fingers rubbing over his eyes and in his hair as the time seemed to pull out. And just when he was about to renounce Christ's name once more, the door opened. With you on the otherside of it. Or at least that's what it looked like.

The sight of you Eddie was usually greeted by was not there. You looked, well, to put it shortly, unwell.

"Eddie, it's too soon for this. Why is it that you're here at my door when we both know you’ve got a key? Or you know what, when have you ever used the door? You're always coming in through the window or something..." The latter words uttered under your breath as you turn, leaving the door open and Eddie standing there to watch.

Your voice sounded off, stuffed up from the current weather that was upon you guys. And being the way you kept rubbing your nose too and snuffling as you spoke, only gave away your current state.

“You’re sick?” What was meant to be a statement came out more of a question by the way it left Eddie’s mouth as he shut the door behind him and stepped inside. Your head turning to him as you held a tissue between both your hands, up against your nose- ready to blow.

“Well gee, what gave it away?” You replied with lip, blowing into the tissue and wiping the excess after. It was nothing new to Eddie, seeing the way you guys were with the other. But he still couldn’t get over the whole matter, looking at you as you moved through the room.

“Why not tell me?” His question left you shrugging, not really understanding where he was getting at. It wasn’t something to tell and even if it was, why did it matter? It just the symptoms of a yearly occurrence. It happens all the time,

Eddie shrugged off his jacket, pushing himself over the couch rather than going around it like one normally would, and putting himself in the spot next to where you were sitting. More like lying by the way you just threw yourself there.

His hand met your forehead, your face pulling together at the gesture before swatting him away.

“Eddie, your going to catch whatever I have! Now get.” But much to your tone and your words, he didn’t move. Sometimes he could really get under your skin whenever he didn't listen.

"You're sick." He repeated, voicing the same words from earlier, only this time they did come out as a statement like he intended.

"I know that, Munson. So?"

"So, you've got to tell me! Let me know." He said, the former sentence raised as he gotto his feet. Though the latter ones, they were uttered. His hand heldto his chest as said them.

"There's nothing to tell, Eddie. I've been through it before and I could do it again, it happens, you know?"

"B-But there is something to tell because I'm here! I'm here for you to come to whenever things like this come up so that way I'm not pulling my hair out when you don't answer," his head gyrates at that, clearly trying to center in on this specific time. Eddie sighs and takes a seat back next to you while you, continue to stare. Still not sure where he was going with this. Maybe you were more stuffed up than you thought because man, nothing was making sense to you.

"M'just trying to be here for you, y'know? You've got me- so it's not just you anymore. It's us. Even if it is for something as small as this."

Oh. Oh.

You sigh and sit yourself up. "I get it now. I'll let you know next time- or anytime something comes up, m'kay? I'm just so used to it being me all the time and watching over myself that I don't stp and think about those who are willing and wanting to be there for me."

Eddie understands that, it's just him and his Uncle but even then knowing that, Eddie always keeps things to himself. Never wanting to put more on Wayne's shoulders than there has to be. Guess that's how it was for you too....

Eddie turns to look at you, thumbing over your brows before leaning in to you.

"You've got a little-" he gestures to your face before using his finger to get the mucus that was running down. "There." He announces, casually wiping his hand on his jeans before looking back to your now, wide expression.

"You did not just do that?...." And when Eddie shrugged his shoulders in response, you could only shake your head at his ways.

"You're something else, Eddie Munson."

—

A/N: feedback and reblogs are appreciated.

[surr3al1sm]

Chapter 10 of Maybe Loving You is Dangerous is here! 🌹✨

This chapter truly gets the ball rolling for the beginning of the idea that I got intially when I decided to start turning this into a chapter fic, and I'm going to be honest that I don't think its the direction you think its going to go in. Though maybe you can make an educated guess if you know me. As for the song in this chapter, I'm going to be linking the original and the cover. Since if I'm being completely honest: the cover is the version I had in mind while writing this chapter. So feel free to give it a listen (if you can, I've heard from my beta reader who's American that they can't access it for some reason.)

ANYWAYS, please so check it out if I've made you curious. Thank you so much for reading as always.

"Cause even though I shouldn't want it, I gotto have it. I want you. Head in the clouds, got no weight on my shoulders. I should be wiser, and realise that I've got one less problem without you."

[aajjks]

As an ex armyblink (now only an army and occasionally a Lisa stan) I think bp particularly have lost their charm as a group altogether. The only way a group could actually work is when all members have chemistry which is where they are lacking. Ig it could be either due to their weird ratio of music vs popularity, their TT sounding almost the same recycled d4 remixes with exception of a few and mostly yg’s favouritism for Jen (let’s be real she was pushed down everyone’s throats during their debut days) and subsequently Rosé who had solo promo almost half a year long. In comparison, lisoo’s solo have been consistently neglected by yg, the funniest part of it being that Jen & Rosé had free pass to travel all around the world while Lisa was barred from promoting her own music cuz Covid lol. And now Jisoo’s solo rolled out literally in middle of their tour and yg barely invested anything to promote her (I heard she got decent promo in Korea but doesn’t add up if she’s a member of the group to have so much global appeal). I think yg probably thought to bring bp to a global scale, they gotto mf push their fluent English speakers and look down on the rest. Now as the group is heading towards disbandment, they’re trying to do everything they can from their shares falling off cuz their realized these 4 women are their breadwinners and consistently their market value is dropping in this whole disbandment case. Literally fell off to 8% or more when speculations of Lisa leaving the group came out. From an unbiased approach I think it’s best if Lisa and Jisoo leave the group, the management has been failing them anyway. Probably the other 2 should sign with other agencies but depends on their interest if they really want to continue to pursue their idol career or not. Cause lately it seems Jen doesn’t wish to do anything that’s remotely related to K-pop.

Lisa is the most popular member of bp, let’s be honest, yg In my opinion likes to push Jennie in the centre spot a lot, sometimes it gets awfully annoying.

[rainsmediaradio]

Sarkodie - Try Me Lyrics

Sarkodie - Try Me Lyrics S3 wonp3mede3 gyai mi Ad3n na wo dada aa mi Wo de Mami me we aa na wode akoma Kwame Ma mani so ataataame S3 wonp3mede3 gyai mi Me ma menkoo Na obi fofro taataa me Wo gya me ho no wankra me Baby girl make you no try me make you no try me I never thought I was gonna be on this wave 'Cause I was ready to take a couple things to my grave First of all lemme clap for you baby you brave But you can’t pick and choose what to say please behave Obiaa ansomawo so ohemaa if you wanna talk You gotto tell the world every other nigga you fuck You can’t just play the victim and paint a picture Like you were looking for love from all the dicks that you sucked I’m not gonna sit here and lie we had a thing First no thought you were cool till I had a hint Na me fiis3 boys a clocki with the baddest bitch Nanso s3na yenyinaa y3 Sesa so s3 Cuban links I was trying to stay away from you but then you came Wo kyer3 me s3 wo nyem and I’m the one to be blamed Ok, of course I thought that you were trying to start another drama Abi boy from the street I know the game Yes I wasn’t ready but then I told you to keep it Wo kyer3 me s3 wo school na wo ko gotto complete it To be very honest till today I don’t believe it Cos me kaas3 Meaa me doctor Mb3 wh3 wo you said you don’t need it After conversation naa then you sent me a text S3 wadanfo bi wo doctor bi hut you know he’s the best So don’t you make it seem like I was the one pushing you for abortion, 'Cause that b the only part wey make I vex S3 wonp3mede3 gyai mi Ad3n na wo dada aa mi Wo de Mami me we aa na wode akoma Kwame Ma mani so ataataame S3 wonp3mede3 gyai mi Me ma menkoo Na obi fofro taataa me Wo gya me ho no wankra me Baby girl make you no try me make you no try me Few weeks ago you try to set me up again Wo hy3 da twer3 me whatsapp s3 you still go through the pain But me knowing you I kinda knew that you were really up to something So I said that we should meet so you explain Me arrange meeting wo Skybar Wo se ho nipa no dooso I’m like ah And then you told me s3 nka mensan bra wo fie na me se me? Na mensan mb3 hy3 wo d3m you lie bad Nea owo aka no p3n osuro sonson Me nsan mmra wo fie biom anadwo nonsoo 3nn3 wiase naa nea 3maa b3 ka biaa Y3 b3 gye edi berma na b3 nom aduro aa 3nyon We know what it is shorty just chasing the bag 'Cause after wei does it really bring happiness back Take the blame cause nobody is the 'Cause for your bad choice in life stop the personal attacks First few hours heard the book is doing well Who is really shocked cause everybody can tell So it’s not because your book is really good But we living in a world where negativity sells I pray you get the healing that you need M3n be claimi good girl, you are for the streets Strategy na hot obaahemaa gye wo 2 Meaa ma gye one copy sharp I’m about to read S3 wonp3mede3 gyai mi Ad3n na wo dada aa mi Wo de Mami me we aa na wode akoma Kwame Ma mani so ataataame S3 wonp3mede3 gyai mi Me ma menkoo Na obi fofro taataa me Wo gya me ho no wankra me Baby girl make you no try me make you no try me Read the full article

[kny111]

Basquiat exhibit: "Made in Japan"

Firstly I felt like an art student on a hunna the minute I stepped in. It was an exhibit I would have never afforded to be at if it weren't for my partner. As I approached the first piece I immidiately take out my notepad to write down methods Jean used, materials, and most importantly the energies received. Unbeknownst to me I ended up using a pen which wasn't allowed due to the high value in his art I imagine.

Not being all fixated on time prior to this but I check out of intuition, it was 11:27 am, a sacred number for myself (as it is, the full number 11:27, linked to my comic book about a cyborg from the future trying to figure out what happened to human civilization).

I felt as though before and even more so right then, Basquiat's spirit was with me, guiding me going "and this one bro, and peep what I meant with this". Beforr I go on I gotto let yall know I been getting in touch with (my often erased by colonialist and imperialist) Haitian side of being Quisqueyanx indigenx. This meant getting rid of my strictly catholic and anti Haitian conditioning that I still struggle with due to lack of familial support. It's been years now that I've been learning of this side of myself and realizing how intricately connected I am to the powerful spirits of Vodun be it West African or Haitian or Dominican aspects of it which often get demonized on my side of the island. So when I tell you I was looking at his work in a whole new way, I really mean it.

I worked my way back and forth taking notes and absorbing as much as possible. To be honest I was never quite into Basquiat before because I didn't know much about him nor did I have the understanding required to do so. A lot of our histories be deliberately erased or ignored to make way for what neocolonialism deems worthy. This, linked with my past internalized antiblackness that had me at one point being utterly dismissive of his work and importance would often make me miss the point of his work and the messages it has.

Moving forward to now and after conditioning myself to understand and empathize more with his work and its ties to our shared histories as a person and doubly so as a black artist of Haitian Dominican Tainx heritage like myself, his work took on a new light for me. So when I visited this exhibit all the way out in Japan (For the record I didn't even know this was going on until way after flight was booked - Afro diaspora linkage on a hunna) and learning it's the first of its kind to show how he immersed other cultures like those of Japan into his work I felt as if he was right there with me in spirit. Helping decode his language as much as I could so I could one day be able to express so freely and intutively prophetic as he once did for us in the Afro-Indigenous diaspora trying to piece together our story after the transatlantic slave trade and systems like it took us apart.

It felt like an honor I'll never have the right words to fully express that level of magic and creativity. But to bring this to yall who listen without the isms, feels like an attempt to honestly continue the narrative artist like him try bringing to a table that often denies us humanity and recognition unless we've passed away even though we built that table. Thank you Jean Michel Basquiat.

[notwxrriors]

#5 for gotto?

5. “Who knows?”- - -

It’s not really a secret, the way Otto’s hand lingers low on Geoff’s back, or how they oftentimes slip away from the group unannounced to go make out somewhere, Geoff holding back throaty moans as Otto pushes a thigh between his legs. It’s not a secret, persay, but it’s also not public.

Well - not until Awsten finds out.

Awsten Knight can’t keep his mouth shut if his entire life depended on it, so when he catches a kiss between the two of them, Otto’s got a sinking that it was about to be everyone’s fucking business.

“Be honest with me.” Otto starts the next day. He feels Geoff tense behind him, resting his hand on Otto’s waist, fingers pressing in. “Who knows?”

Awsten smiles, runs a hand through faded purple hair. “I only told Jawn! Because I’m really excited! And also maybe Lucas, but he knew. And also Travis, because he’s always out of the loop. And no one else!” He says, holding out his hand. “Pinky promise.”

Otto glowers at him as he links his pinky with Awsten’s. “I fucking hate you.”

Awsten’s unsinkable. “I know!” He says, pulling them both into a fast hug. “Sooo happy for you two, by the way, and don’t check my instagram story. Bye!”

[autowrite]

09.02.19 - Good Job

We've got to prey. prey, we've got to prey, preyyyyy, we've got to prey just to make it today. We've got to prey, preyy, we've got to prey, preyyyy, We've got to prey just to make it today - MC Hammer, please hammer don't hurt him. I have successfully avoided the work I needed to do for an entire day. This is getting ridiculous. This is getting really ridiculous. If I avoid stuff in plain sight what's it like for the rest of my body? I'm tired today, very tired, but that is ok. I'm clam today. Drinks with Farid and I'm being awfully nice to myself. And this is good. This is good. i called up someone, a fellow. It still feels a bit empty, i imagine that's because he lacks a sense of humour, kind of. Kind of a sorry sap. Get a move on, send a message if you stayed sober tonight. Yesterday was really bad. I don't need none of that anymore. Today I gotto continue to work the steps. I felt kind of stuck today, I feel lately like there's something I need to do, I'm playing it too safe lately, and it's like being stuck in a Golden Cage. Everything is safe and mild. or safe and tame. i'm congratulating myself and all that, I look good, I feel good, but the suspense is missing, the joy is missing. I need to get out there and make an ass of myself. but I'm afraid I don't know my own boundaries, afraid of going overboard and harming myself or someone else. When I want something I can go for it at all costs, and this means I might hurt someone. And if I'm honest i care more about how it LOOKS than what it does to someone else. And that's crazy, because 'how it looks' the rejection part, is so shallow. I'm already bored with analysis, already waiting to jump onto the next branch. One day there will be 12-step program for Narcissists and Sociopaths that are low on the spectrum..LoveandKindness practice will be practiced daily, people will call others for help, and we will ask a higher power to take away our lust. Etc, etc, I'll get into this some other time.

[swas3ka]

I gotto be honest, I didn't like excreting this food out of my body. Why can't we be like snakes? Or cows?? Eat shit up and chew them later.. arrrggg 😑

[stonedhippymermaid-blog1]

A NEW OP STRATEGY!? DESTROY TH11 BASES!! - Clash Of Clans

hey welcome back guys general tourney here your host and welcome back my friends to a brand new episode of clash of onhax so of course we have got thebrand new clang games inside of the gameright now and what I want you all to dostraight off the bat let me know downbelow in that comment section guys whatare your honest opinions on the clangames I'm gonna be doing a full updatereview in a couple of hours time and itmight surprise a lot of you what I'mgonna be saying guys my honest opinionon the clan games make sure you staytuned that's gonna be coming out in acouple of hours time and just so you allknow our clan general elite has alreadycompleted the entire challenge and Ionly got 40 out of 500 points so Ididn't really even take part in the clangames but uh we're gonna talk about thatin a couple of hours so make sure youstay tuned for that but for now myfriends what we are gonna be doing it istime to upgrade the heroes and send themto max a level so we got a level 45barbarian King and we've got a level 45Archer Queen a hundred and sixty-threethousand dark elixir currently inside ofmy storage and we need a hundred andeighty-five thousand to send the Kingfrom level 45 to level 46 so can I dothat inside of this episode right now. getn clash of clans free gems.guys I'm not too sure but we are gonnagive it my best show if you think I canupgrade the King before the end of thevideo then smash that like button downbelow make sure you subscribe to thechannel guys join the family almost at2.2 million subscribers absolutelyinsane so what we're doing we've gotourselves a new strategy inside of ourarmy camps we're gonna be incorporatingthe miners with some healers and someHill spells this is basically gonnadestroy the inferno towers after theupdate was released the Inferno towersno longer actually us you know prettymuch stuff the healing spells and thehealers from working so this is gonna bereally interesting all the minershealers and he'll spells going to be themost powerful strategy inside of thegame let's find out okay so check it outguys first town who eleven we've landedon no I'm gonna take on this base and weare gonna go for a three starthis is a new strategy I am going to beusing we've got ourselves 30 - maxed outof course we've got 3 healers a babydragon war frankerz balloons in the CCthree heroes king queen ground waterthree heal spells to rage and an extrarage inside of our CC and we're gonnasee if this new strategy the new - slashhealers and you know the hill spells canactually destroy sound who eleven basesnow the infinite towers no longerblocked a feeling power so let's findout is there's gonna be the mostpowerful strategy in the meta so we'regonna start off by using a queen walkguys I'm gonna use a baby dragon downthis side over here just to create somesort of a funnel and make sure the Queengoes to the out through the left-handside so it's starting off pretty well Idon't really want to waste my ragespells guys so we're gonna see if we canhold them back for a little while let'sjust see so we're gonna be dropping onedown shortly there we go and that'sgonna make sure my queen stays alive asshe takes out the defending barbarianking now this is gonna be interesting isthe queen gonna go left yes she is okaythe next that's actually not too much ofa problem guys that's cool okay so whatwe're gonna do we're gonna use a clancastle over there just to take out thoseballoons and I'm gonna start now with arampaging army we're gonna see if we canget the rest of the troops to go intothe center and destroy this dude's baseguys so here we go we're gonna use arage spell really early gonna use a hillspell shortly not just yet guys it lookslike their balloons our other mine isgonna go into the center yes they arehere we go directly into the core ofthis base guys there goes the crapwarden's ability keeping these minersall up and alive and this is actuallylooking pretty damn sweet already sothere goes a Queen's ability here we go- going off to the right-hand side Hillsfive drops down keeping those minersalive because I'm going to the leftwe're gonna use a heal spell over thereas well not really sure if I should havedone that guys but I'm we're gonna findout whether it worked or not so we gotto heal us on the hill smell sorry onthe miners over on the left hand sidetaking down the wizard tower it'slooking pretty good so we've got 70percent total damage so far so manyminers are left alive on the right handside haven't got any more heal spellsguys but I think we've got too muchfirepower for this base to actually stopme so 75% total damagecan we get ourselves a triple first liveattack of the episode using this new -strategy guys is it gonna work let's seeso so many miners in front of the groundwater and we've also got about another10 - next to the barbarian king + thegrand warden and the king are stillalive this is almost looking unstoppable85% it's still climbing guys thesebuildings are getting dropped prettydamn quickly there goes a Tesla towerwhere they there's a wizard tower theregoes a cannon and there goes the airdefense93% the grab water that's being takenout but it is definitely gonna be atriple star what a way to start theepisode guys so the question stillremains is this - oh P is this new -strategy - overpowered for town whoeleven one thing you've got to rememberguys I was using balloons I don't havemax level heroes and also I don't evenhave max level army camps I've only gotarmy camps at level what is it leveleight and they now go to level ninemeaning I can technically bring you knowanother 20 housing spaces worth oftroops so this this strategy is onlygonna get stronger so it's definitelygonna be interesting so what we're gonnado we're gonna do it againwe're gonna gem up the heroes we'regonna see if we can find a powerful TownHall 11 base this time we're not gonnabe using any clan castle let's see whatactually happens guys so let's gem upthe archer Queen grand warden Kingalready locked and loaded let's unleashhell upon another town hall 11 so what Iwant you to do let me know your thoughtsif you've made it this far into theepisode guys what are your opinions onthis update what do you think aboutclient games what do you think about thebalance changes what do you think aboutthe fact that inferno towers no longerblock Hill spells or healers that isprobably the biggest change in thematter for years and I'm kind of a fanI'm not gonna lie I think it's prettycool so here we go once again we'velanded on another Town Hall level 11 -Morty target inferno tells in the centerthey are level 4 max level Eagleartillery rest of the defenses aredecent levelslet's take it on and see what kind ofdestruction we can do so the plan ofattack I'm gonna be at second from theEagle artillery side I want to try andtake that down as quickly as I can sowhat we are gonna do I am going to usethe archer Queen I'm going to drop theQueen in right thereand we're gonna use we're gonna use ababy dragon over here just to take outall these buildings guys and that'shopefully gonna stop my miners fromgoing too far around the outside so Idon't think we're gonna need to use arage spell for my queen just yet lookslike she's gonna actually go to the airto go to the right hand side that'ssweet and we're gonna jump into wallbreakers there we go nicely in and we'regonna go with the king Graham warden andall those - guys so here we go most ofthe miners I do want to go to the lefthand side there goes the Queen's abilityto rage spell sorry Rach bow and a hillsmoke going down trying to keep thesetroops up and alive and a poison spellon the defending heroes in the center ofthe base guys so we're gonna be usingthe ground waters ability nice and earlymaking sure those giant big bombs don'treally do too much damage they gosupport bearing kings of elite Hillspell and a Rach fell down into thecenter let's find out can we getourselves another triple star againstthis dude's pace so we're gonna useanother heal spell guys not just yetnot just yet here we go we're gonna dropit down in the center now right onto theInferno tower trying to take the Infernotower down got plenty of miners in thereguys they're currently taking down theInferno tower and the expo at the sametime hopefully they can grab both ofthem there goes the expo can we grab theinferno towel there he goes just aboutbefore IV oh we lost those miners and itlooks like we are not really gonna begetting a triple star this time guys butyou've got to look at the facts here wedon't have max level army camps don'thave max level heroes don't even have anattacking clan castle and we have easilypicked up over 70% damage on this dude'sface without using really any strategywhatsoever and it's gonna be reallyinteresting inside of the next war Iwill be using this strategy guys I willbe you know taking time to try andfigure out what kind of attack strategyI'm gonna be using and I'm gonna see ifI can get a six pack flag warfirst time since the update has beenlaunched taking on to Town Hall level 11so this is a huge update definitely somebig changes guys check it out a two-starlook at the loot we just made there 79%total damage 100% loot bonus and thattakes us to a hundred and seventy fourthousand dark elixir so let's makeanother army we're gonna keep using thisminer army I mean to be honest with youI don't really see why not it's it'spretty damn sweet it's definitelyworking so what we want to do 8 milliongold let's do some little upgrades Ithink we can operate too so let's do onethere one there we're gonna click theEdit layout button and we're gonna seehow many walls we've got done so we'vedone a hundred and eight already we'reonly allowed a max of a hundred and 25guys so we've only got another what isthat 17 walls to upgrade and then autowolves will be max level then all weneed to do is upgrade the heroes and thearmy camps and I think that's prettymuch it let's just check if I click thenews button and I actually let's loadmore hey guyswasn't there a little tab which showedus what the changes well it's let's readabout the magic items yeah so they'rejust the magic items guys but there wego no let's click this one here we gothe update is here yes it is so we'vegot level 50 heroes we've got new levelarmy camps we've got miner housingspaces being increased from 5 to 6inferno towers changes the walls andthat's pretty much it so there reallyisn't too much in terms of content guysthat's the that's the sad thing aboutthis update but as I said there will bea video in a few hours explaining mythoughts and opinions on this update itis gonna be quite shocking guys and someof you may love it some of you mighthate it so stay tuned for thatI'll see you surely have a great daypeace out

[lifewithoutyou]

15 July 2017, the friendly battle chat

Okay okay, i got to admit that i miss having a conversation with you. Do i still waiting for your morning bathroom text? No. Not anymore. But my heart still skip a beat everytime i got a line message, i mean the only reason i turned on the notification badge on line is because you used to message me there. But since you're not anymore, and i am wondering why now you chat me on whatsapp, are you delete my line account? I don't know. So, today you chat me on friendly battle. I'm kinda happy. And kinda don't want to end the chat. I'm just kinda confuse, you talk to me like you used to talk to me before "this" happen. I don't know how to respond to that. Should i act normal or should i keep my distance from you. I don't know what to do. Do you remember when i used to write what i want to tell you on notes? Because you only chat me one time a day, and i am easily forget on what i wanna say to you by the time you chat me. I still wanna do that but, the problem is i don't know when will you chat me again. Everytime i find something funny, i want to share it to you but i can't and it's suck. Everytime i find something interesting i want to share it to you but i can't now. Do you feel the same? Lia was surprised when she saw me act normal when you called me the other day. She said how come you can speak like nothing happen, but after you hang up the phone you started to cry out? And i said, i'm used to it. I can't let you know that i am in my lowest point and feel broken inside. I can't put any burden to you. I asked Lia, does she thinks i'm gonna coming back to you? She said of course, no doubt. But then i told her, what actually been the hardest thing for us. It's because of God. We grew together and we can't just let God down. What if we finally have the chance to stop and decided to move on even though it's hard. What if we don't want to go back anymore. Deep down inside i really want that to happen, i can't wait to see what God can do to our life after this. But, i gotto be honest, if you say the word and ask me to come back. I would!