#but i got like 2 hrs of sleep last night so im gonna have to log off for the night

[theloveinc]

😭

[fapper]

me and my 2 other suitemates just confronted my klepto roomie. and i started yelling at her about her dirty blood stained panties

ok yall story time. this just happened, and idgaf and im chill about it bc i have shit to do and i honestly come in this apartment to go to sleep. but unfortunately i live in the same room as a insane, literally mentally unwell person.

so me and my suitemate were talking abt all the shit thats been happening to her belongings and we found that her perfume, clothes, and makeup have been tampered with. and the only culprit was my roommate because shes the same size as her, same skin tone as her etc. and now shes sitting on her bed crying like bitch just admit it lmfao

so me and my 2 roomies woke her bitch ass up and confronted her about the situation. while we were at it, i told the bitch to pick her dirty ass panties off the ground and wash them. i started yelling at her ngl lmao <3 but she started yelling at US first and was liek "ALL of you *pointing at us* are accusing me!" omfg it was so scary guyssss im ngl. like the evidence is so obvious like ur not gonna sit here and lie to our faces as if you didnt just lie to my face last night after u stole my earphones? lmao

anyawys i got work in 6 hrs im fucking going to sleep

[videostak]

UGHAGUOhkdjsa my moms going to out to a bar rn with my cousin and probably wont be back til like 11 or 12 and will probably be very drunk :/ really annoying cause she asked my sister if she should go my sister said no cause she works tomorrow and she shouldnt be somewhere where she can drink cause its not a safe environment then my mom just acted annoyed then 30 mins later said she is gonna go w/ my cousin .. rly annoyed and hope ill be able to go tomorrow and get up in time.. i mean if i cant get up at 5 then i can just go to the yard sale and other swap meet.. dont kno abt the estate sale cause thats actually a v far drive in the opposite direction so idk if im gonna wanna go there but i guess ill see.. also since that and the yard sale sstart the same time idk if theyll be anything good by the time i go to them. idk ill see tho cause like my mom doing something late at night to fk things up as usual should be no surprise. genuinley so annoying i rly wish she werent an alcoholic and talk to as like little kids and try to do stuff like that to go behind our backs to drink. i have to shave tonight and shower tho so once they leave i can atleast do that in the meantime.. rly annoyed cause its already 9 and they havent left yet and she was saying theyd be there for 2 hrs which usually the time she gives is way less than it actually ends up being.. i hardly got any sleep last night tooo

[motochiri]

a list of terrible things that happened to me today bc i am filled with unadulterated rage and vitriol rn <3 - woke up 20 minutes late - skin mask i did last night literally melted my skin off - was late to work obviously - the opening cashier called in so it was just me and my boss until my co-supervisor & 2 cashiers came in an hour later - it was busy the whole fucking time - system went down company wide for like 20 minutes at both peak traffic time and my lunch time - when i finally got to go to lunch the traffic was horrendous & i didnt even have time to get a beverage - bitches were driving IDIOTLY and trying to cut the line like i will murder you <3 - barely had time to eat my food & didnt finish so it basically went to waste - went back to work and it was still busy - was embarrassed to be seen bc my skin was literally cracking off my face like............................... - salespeople were being hella impatient like U SEE IM BUSY BITCH - got switched from vyvanse to adderall bc of the cost and its......... not doing shit i was EXHAUSTED the whole day and i got 7+ hrs of sleep??? - it was finally decently cold outside but hot as fuck inside so i was once again sweating in my uggs - got stuck at the BANE OF MY EXISTENCE ASS TRAIN by my house on the way back home and it literally was STOPPED ON THE TRACKS FOR 30+ MINUTES HOW IS THAT LEGAL - tried to go around aka wasted gas <3 and made a WRONG TURN AT A DEAD END - bestie im trying to move in with is slow playing about finding a place bc shes boujee as fuck for no reason and refuses to compromise so my lease is about to expire and the rent is going up $300/mo - these shithole apartments require a 60 day notice to move out so im gonna have to pay $1300/mo + all my other bills or sign another bitch ass lease - she is not empathetic to that at all bc shes not in a lease or paying rent rn so it doesnt affect her - am now spiraling bc why the fuck is life like this like who decided this shit was The Way To Live - ex bf didnt answer my calls on the way home bc he passed out drunk on the couch soooo had to carry all my shit in by myself ANNOYINGGG - gonna kms <3

[merlions]

Just for personal catharsis; there's hella untagged triggers in here so proceed carefully if you wish but I advise against it. I'm not fully gonna demand DONT READ cause I know I'm posting this on a public website but like I'm gonna suggest it

I am being so mad at myself for the ways i am being lately but check out this list of Factors with which I am currently Contending

> watching a show after dinner every night with my parents about rape culture during which an actual rape is depicted in a very similar way to what I have experienced many times and never really gotten any good mental health care for

> talking about that show w them as we watch and i realize my dad's forgotten that ive been raped or assaulted several times and doesnt realize how that may affect me and my views on the show and not being sure how to tell him and not wanting to have to do so just as a way to win an argument which is how i even did it the first time

> my [friend and roommate] [t'hy'la] [wife] is currently in our previous apartment with her family finishing cleaning it up and moving us out, and the last time I was there it was spending 2 weeks alone losing my mind while packing to move since my roommate had just been discharged from the hospital and we had gone our separate ways to heal and recover at our respective parents' houses and i was waiting for my dad to come so we could road trip back to my parents house

> continuous reminders of the trauma of seeing her in that hospital bed, incoherent, sweating, unconscious, of her not knowing between reality and hallucination, of knowing she genuinely almost died

> (side note this trauma was sufficient to make a large chunk of my hair fall out and to develop a specific type of eczema on my hands that my mom got when she was going through the stress of her father dying and I have barely even begun to process it)

> the first time she and i have ever been apart for more than 10 days in more than 7 years actually also and it's now been over 4 months

> doing therapy and having to relive every sexual assault, every bad thing I've done or has happened to me and try to come to terms with it

> parents on a starvation diet and im skipping meals, struggling to maintain my veneer of resisting my eating disorder spawned by chronic pain and nausea

> chronic illness flares goin roughhhh

> struggling to get my meds as per fuckin usual lately

> keep getting accidentally dosed w allium in like every meal and it's wreaking havoc on my shitty bod

> sleep schedule becoming the very most fuckening and getting 2-4 hrs of sleep per night interspersed w nights of 10+ hrs that fuck my sleep schedule worse

> some strange and awful mast cell garbage afflicting me

I mean there's more too. Like there's a lot, a LOT of good going on as well but like I can understand why I am functioning less than optimally and I should probably try a little harder to be kind to myself about it

[bumpscosity]

Highlights

MY SURGEON DIDNT GIVE ME A COUNTDOWN FOR THE ANESTHESIA. He said something like “ok this is gonna make you drowsy” and then I could feel stuff coming thru the needle and thought “well here goes this shit” and then I was out

Literally the best sleep I’ve ever got. It felt like I slept 10 hours on the comfiest mattress with the comfiest blankets and the comfiest pillows in the comfiest room of all time. I only was out for like a half our. Every sleep will feel like shit sleep compared to that.

I wasn’t loopy at all lmao???? I was sleepy for like the first hour post-surgery and then I was fine?????

What it DID effect really bad was my balance. It felt like when you get off a crazy roller coaster but like x10 I couldn’t walk for like 8 hrs. Even just moving my head fucked me up lol

When I first woke up I literally couldn’t keep my eyes open for more then 15 seconds it was like the muscles were so numb that it was physically hard to keep my eyelids up

My lip was numb for like 8 hours post op for some reason??? Everything else un-numbed but I guess whatever they put in me for local numbing specifically was crazy powerful

They want me to drink like 6 bottles of water every day lmao usually I barely drink 2 no way in hell im doing that

Nobody warned me abt face swelling I have an uneven yet square jawline now :/

Ibiprophen more like I don’t do shit it worked for like the last 20 mins it was active and that’s it

The antibiotics and Super Pain Killers I was prescribed are fucking huge man like the length is probably the size of a nickel I feel like mr krabs taking The Pill

I didn’t cry over random fictional characters so you guys lost that one (that’s kinda a lie I was crying abt walle last night but it’s bc I was tired it wasn’t me being high) but teeth IS hurty so congrats to 27% of you

Hey guys, I’m gettin’ my wisdom teeth out today and I’m banning myself from electronics until tomorrow so I’m not going around loopy-posting or sending any stupid messages/asks while the anesthetics are still in effect. in the meantime maybe send some ask abt whatever (fixations, questions abt me, etc.) so I have something fun to come back to???

[pepprs]

hm. i literally have the plague

[chrisbangs]

i think i should sleep whew ...

[thokage-archive]

I am fucking exhausted dudes

[awkwarddesertfox]

A basic summary of my day.

[blappery]

Tagged by: @resident-of-remnant​ thanks for tagging me!

Rules: Answer 30 questions an tag 20 blogs you are contractually obligated to know better.

Name: Alex, or rose but i think im gonna have that as my middle name

Gender: trans girl

Star Sign: scorpio

Height: 6′2″ish

Time: 22:09

Birthday: 3rd November 2002

Favorite bands: rn the longest johns, they do sea shanties, check out their cover of “the wellerman” (the tik tok shanty) but a more long stading favourite would be nothing but theives.

Favorite solo artists: im not sure that i know of many, or quite what they are. Prince maybe? p sure he made his first album alone.

Last movie: Die hard (on christmas eve)

Last show: Hilda, its a cute cartoon with a cool world, and id reccomend it.

When did I create this blog: uhh pretty sure i first made a tumblr in like 2016? when i first got a phone, but then i locked myself out at some point and made this one

What I post: whatever comes across my dash and i like, its an assortment.

Last thing I googled: what a solo artist is, sorry

Other blogs: nope

Do I get asks: not all that many, most of them from lucy which i appreacite but suck at answering, thanks for all of them!

Why I chose my url: my brother and i went through a phase where we would just say blap to each other, so to offer me a glass of orange juice hed say blap why holding out the carton, then id nod and say blap back, basically blappery became my usual username meaning something like a whole lotta nothing

Following: 690 dang i spend too much time on here

Followers: 100, getting nice round numbers today folks

Average hours of sleep: sleep schedule? never heard of her, last night i went to bed at 10pm, that morning i went to sleep at 7am, the day before that at 3am. when im normal i get like 7 1/2 hrs but that hasnt been the case for a while now.

Instruments: i used to play trumpet, which i enjoyed but am glad i stopped, now im learning bass! just got one a bit ago and im enjoying it a lot!

What I'm wearing: a soft maroon shirt, short leather shirt, tights, flats and my aroace rings

Dream job(s): hmm maybe baker. or software engineer maybe, lets hope so bc its likely going to be the one i do

Dream trip: im not much of a traveller but i would want to explore, hill climb and camp n stuff with a couple close friends. just walking through forests and glens all day chatting shit and singing poorly.

Favorite food: its all great but bean enchiladas all the way, its like 3 bean chilli in wraps with yogurts cheese hot sauce and jalepenos on and its glorious.

Nationality: Scottish/Engl*sh (i know its tragic)

Favorite song: uh rn its ever new by beverly glenn-copeland, but i have quite a few faves

Last book: a joe abercrombie series starting with the blade itself, it was alright but theres only one woman in it who isnt a love interest so i would not rate the writer. this is a 5 way narrative btw. ive enjoyed it though.

Top 3 fictional universes: hmm the elder scrolls bc ive played too much of it, RWBY love the way semblances work, its the only show ive made ocs for, and bloodborne bc its hot girl shit.

im tagging:  but dont worry about it too much

@violetdesolation @sstarbee @leacko @arainofravens @artist-that-sucks @thxsilvxrshrxud @happi-iris @myfatuglyslugtits

[teacupballerina]

Tagged by @chillableu Thank you bro. I am flattered to be one of the few you chose to follow.

1. Name/Nickname: teacup/tcb

2. Gender: female

3. Star Sign: Gemini / Sag moon / Vir rising

4. Height: 5'5

5. Time: 19:27

6. Birthday: May 26

7. Favorite Band: Muse or Shinedown [literally unchanged for 10 and 20 years respectively]

8. Favorite Solo Artist: Maynard James Keenan, any band he is in is also fave.

9. Song Stuck Stuck In My Head: Bread and Circus - Puscifer

10. Last Movie: Demon Slayer Mugen Train in the theater

11. Last Show: Finished Koikimo this week. If you like my art, you would probably like this show.

12. When I Created This Blog: Probably Dec 2010, first posted Jan 2011

13. What I Post: fandom including my art, oc development, shitposting and memes, etc. Like basically every other tumblr user

14. Last Thing I Googled: "salmon lunch recipe" LMFAO

15. Other Blogs: Active are @cnwol @lord-and-leader (unable to hyperlink because its marked) @actionpackjack @redorbshipping @delivererofdarkness and several inactive Aku rp blogs lmfao

16. Do I get asks?: many, and roughly half are answered because I always be thinking of shit to draw for them and then never get around to drawing. So if you sent something and I never answered it was either hate or I was gonna draw to answer it, or am going to eventually draw an answer to it, or just got sidelined sorry

18: Following: 829

17. Why I Chose My URL: initials + random words. made during my lolita fashion phase so that's what came out. But i am short and my art is the equivalent of dancing on my tablet so there’s that.

21. Lucky Number: 4

19. Followers: 3550 plus or minus 10 any given day based on what I post. I gain followers daily but I also lose them daily. LOL

20. Average Hours Of Sleep: I go to bed at 10-11 and wake up at 7 so regularly that I cannot really control getting 8-9 hrs. If I am forced to stay up past 10-11 I will still wake up at 7 but I'll be a wreck. I have epiglottitis-based sleep apnea though so I am always a little bit fucked despite getting a lot of sleep.

22. Instruments: N/A if I ever figure out how to fix my throat I’ll sing again

23. What Am I Wearing: My work smock 🤣

24. Dream job: Dog groomer O SHIT IM DOING THAT ALREADY DAM

25. Favorite Food: Raw salmon/sashimi

27. Nationality: American

28. Favorite Song: 45 by Shinedown I SWEAR I WILL ANIMATIC THIS SOON

29. Last Book I Read: The War for Late Night by Bill Carter

30. Top 3 Fictional Universes I Would Like To Live In: THIS ONE IS FINE THANKS

@ladykeane @cherrycreamfairy @ej-cappy-universe anybody else can do it tho pls just say i tagged you no one will know

[mochikeiji]

Rest Your Heart

↠ Pairing: Bokuto Koutarou x Akaashi Keiji

↠ Warning: TimeSkip AU! Over thinking, anxiety, angst to fluff

↬ Word Count: 2,052

Summary: Everyone has that one person who will always look after them and their well being. Bokuto has had enough of Akaashi torturing himself from all the papers and projects given to him. He didn't like knowing the fact that he was always drowning into an ocean of hardship and darkness, so he steps up his game into letting Akaashi take a break.

⇢ Day 5: Touch (cuddling, hand holding, huddling for warmth), Bed-sharing! @bokuakaweek2020

✎﹏

Working is tiring for everyone. It's even more exhausting to use your brain into thinking with good ideas. What's worse is that sometimes, people tend to force to milk out every bit of their brain juice in order to master and reach their own satisfaction in their work.

Akaashi was not a stranger to that description.

When you work as an editorist, like he is, it's automatically embedded in you that what you must submit it worthy to be read. Like a every writer, the common thing they had was content. Will it be good? Will it be read? Thousands, even millions of thoughts would swarm a single person for that matter. There mustn't be one speck of mistake in your work. Everything must be already there, written, revised and correctly formulated.

Dealing with this especially when you were assigned to take care of a big project from your seniors was a huge amount of pressure for Akaashi. He couldn't say he hated his job nor loved it. But he can tell that he wasn't happy knowing he wasn't taking care of his health anymore.

"Akaashi~ you're taking too long."

Luckily Bokuto was there.

"10 more minutes, Bokuto. I'll be done." he replies without taking his eyes nor hands off of his laptop. Still hunched over his desk, eyes squinting on each word he's typed in so far checking to see if there were grammatical errors or spelling errors that needed to be changed.

"You've said the same thing 6 times way back now, look," raising his foot, Bokuto points it out on their wall clock above his desk, "It's already 7:30 pm. You haven't even touched your onigiri!" Akaashi takes a small glance to his left side. The onigiri's were left cold and untouched for the past hour since Bokuto had bought home, "Seriously, you need to stop over working your self. One of these days you're bound to collapse.." He mutters the last past, not wanting to imagine his beloved Akaashi fall without him around to pick him up.

He hears a frustrated sigh coming from him. When your partner is stressed and you were just trying to help, it usually ends with the stressed one blowing up on the other one. Atleast, that's how other couples work.

"I'm sorry." not for both of them though, neither one would dare to hurt the other one. For one reason, Akaashi was just not the type of person you'd want to yell at, look at him, he's just a quiet, little man trying to pass by. Next is Bokuto, you can never yell at someone who looks like a child filled with innocence, and besides, he was right at this point for scolding him.

"The deadline is in 2 days time..I'm just terrified that if I don't submit something properly written, they'd stop giving me these opportunities." looking over his right side where a stack of papers were unorganized.

"So? Atleast you won't have to over work yourself. It doesn't matter anymore if you can't be happy and healthy." sitting up with crossed legs on the bed, Bokuto observes Akaashi from there, ready to attend to any needs and necessity.

"I'll be marked with a lower rank and get paid little..."

Bokuto knew how much Akaashi wanted to help him pay for their rent and other taxes ever since they've agreed to live with each other. Even though Bokuto had a lot of money in his pocket to aid them both, Akaashi simply doesn't want to be dependent on his lover and let him do all the hard work.

That's why he loved Akaashi so much. Even up until now he was still giving his all to him like in highschool.

His 120 percent in things.

Akaashi leans back on his chair, closing his eyes for a brief moment to gather all his thoughts to think properly. That gave Bokuto a chance to get up from their shared bed quietly as he walks up to him from behind. He wraps his strong arms around his neck from behind, placing a soft kiss on his forehead as he strokes away the frustrated tears now streaming on his cheeks.

"If it ever went down to that, I'll talk to your boss," moving his hand on both of his shoulder blades, he held the male down by pressing on the tight knots that had formed way back, "No objections, Keiji. You've been working hard, if they treat you like shit I'm complaining. There's no fairness." it was endearing to hear that coming from him. He had grown up to be a mature man than he was before. If Akaashi wasn't so frustrated he would've been crying from so much love coming from Bokuto.

He raises both of his hands, cupping Bokuto's smaller ones on his chest, "You're too nice to me." smiling sadly as he let's all pent frustration out with his tears, "I can never know what'll be enough for me to give you."

That was another thing that Bokuto was saddened about. The fact that Akaashi was an over thinker he'd often degrade himself to the lowest of all. To Akaashi himself, he was nothing more than a bother. A hindrance. But to Bokuto, how he wishes he could tell him he was more than enough and that he has given him too much even before.

"You're already good enough," tapping his chin with his fingers, he pushes his head a little, making his eyes flutter open, "I mean it, Keiji."

There was a short pause of silence. Neither one daring to move as they clung onto each other's love language and affection. Pretty soon, Bokuto found this opportunity as a good sign to lead him back to bed for a break. Removing his arms away from the seated male, much to his dismay, he grabs on the plate of onigiri's and walks to their shared bed, placing it on top.

"Come on, I'll eat with you."

Akaashi watches as Bokuto sits back down on their bed with his legs wide enough. Enough for him to fit and sit in between them, and pats the free space.

"But I have to fini—"

"Your dinner, yes, you're gonna finish your dinner. Now sit here!"

He can never say no when it comes to Bokuto whining. With a sigh, using his sleeves, he wipes away all the excess tears. Not bothering to take his glasses off, and stand up from his chair.

"I'm going to get im trouble after this." nesting himself in between Bokuto's legs and leaning his back on his chest. Bokuto hands him an onigiri along with his and watches Akaashi take his first, but small bite. He didn't have the mood to eat from his constant thinking which makes the owl haired male frown deeply.

"No, you're not. Have a little faith. I know you," taking a huge chunk of the onigiri in his mouth, "You always manage to make things work, that's what I love about you." Akaashi didn't like messy people, but he couldn't make any comment on how silly Bokuto looks and sounds with his mouth stuffed.

"Please don't chew your food while talking, Bokuto."

"And please don't be sad in front of the onigiri's, Kei. They have feelings too."

Hearty laughter filled the room coming from Akaashi. Bokuto savored every moment of it. His happiness was his happiness as well.

Watching Akaashi finally take bigger bites and chowing down like a starved man, hr let's him have all the onigiri's to himself, using an excuse that he was already full. He can see the way his eyes sparkled shyly as he took all the rice filled meals into his stomach.

"Hmm, you're getting kinda chubby there, Keiji," pushing his pointer finger on his cheek, he watches it squish adorably from his touch, "Not that I'm complaining. You look hot and cute." grinning when he saw his lips pout a little with his cheeks growing red, he couldn't help but pinch them.

"Bokuto please, I'm trying tk eat."

"I wasn't suggesting anything!"

Disposing the plate to their night stand, Akaashi wipes the side of his mouth with his sleeve, Bokuto hugging his stomach with his hands rubbing them.

"You're so soft, Keiji." he hums, squishing the baby fat from the smaller male.

"I need to get to work." he was feeling embarrassed. Had he really gained weight that much? Akaashi was taking a note in his mind that he was going to join Bokuto in jogging next time.

"But its late. And you need to rest." nuzzling his head on his shoulder. He really didn't want to see another one of those nights Akaashi would be sitting, hunched on his desk until sunrise.

Stroking his stomach to his chest, Bokuto whines a little when Akaashi tries half heatedly to break from his hold, "And I wanna cuddle you to sleep. It gets lonely when you always leave and work yourself to the bone."

There were times Akaashi would slip from his hold around 3 am to get back to work. During those times Bokuto would pretend to be asleep and wait for his return. And he got pretty upset he's reached until the birds started chirping. The bed was cold without him.

Akaashi feels the guilt rising from him as he remembers all those times he's left the older male. Thinking of what was more important, he forces the arms around his stomach down and turns his body to face him. Bokuto already had a sad expression on his face knowing he was still going to over work himself. It was already part kf his nature.

Until Akaashi wraps his arms around his neck and pushes him down to bed with him placed on top of Bokuto.

"I thought you were going back to work?" nonetheless, Bokuto wraps his arms tighter around Akaashi. He flinches when he feels him started to shake and his neck getting wet.

He was crying again.

Petting his head, Bokuto reaches out for his glasses, removing them and placing it gently on their night stand near the plate. He pushes his head deeper on his neck side, allowing him to cry as he whispers sweet words next to his ear.

"I promise, Keiji. You're already fine as you are. Please, let me take care of you."

He hears a choked sob escape from his lips, "You don't have to keep doing this if it doesn't make you happy. If you're doing this for me then I'm not hapoy if you're not." sniffling from his words, Akaashi listens to him, finding his body warm and home like feeling. His words soothing like a sweet lullaby.

"I don't care about anything, Keiji. I'm hapoy because I have you. But I'm more happier to see you happy and well."

Turning his head, golden eyes meeting teary gun metal ones, Bokuto swipes away the tears again with his thumb and places a small smooch on the tip of his nose.

"You're already enough for me and others. So please," pressing his forehead against his, they both closed their eyes, feeling their breaths close and their bodies warm with fluttering feelings, "Take a break for me."

Akaashi knows to himself sooner or later he'll crumble again like today. He knows to himself that he couldn't help but let his thoughts overcome his sight on things. But that didn't matter right now.

He was in his arms, and that's all he could think of with his presence.

"I love you so much." whimpering softly as he buries his face against his neck again. He felt so safe and secure woth Bokuto around. Loved. That everything around him got a little better. Brighter. It made him nuzzle even more into him and his small arms squeezing him.

Bokuto counters back the same squeeze of affection and kisses the side of his ear. His breathing soon slowing down and into a calm one before he hears soft snores from Akaashi.

"I love you too, Keiji. Sleep tight."

That day Bokuto doesn't sleep until 3 am. He has spent his night watching over him. Occasionally stroking his hair or back whenever he moves from his position.

He wasn't going to let anything ruin Akaashi and his peace for the day.

[ahtohallan-calling]

chapter 5 of don’t read the last page is here!

[kristanna / m / multichap / modern au with actress!anna and vetstudent!kristoff]

He’d put the phone down on the counter while he made breakfast, but now that his hands were free again he still didn’t pick it up; after their initial awkward phone call, they’d started FaceTiming instead, and as much as he loved seeing her face, he was really glad she couldn’t see his right now.

“And I was soo confused, so I started telling her, like, ‘Seriously, Honey, he’s got this amazing blond hair that you just like, want to touch all the time and these big brown eyes and little freckles and plus I’m pretty sure he’s kind of ripped and I—‘ Kristoff, I heard the microwave go off already. Are you hiding from me?”

“No,” he muttered, his face turning even redder.

chapter 5

day 1

Sven was just stumbling into the kitchen when Kristoff came in. He frowned, narrowing his eyes suspiciously.

“You look really happy for someone who just dropped off their girlfriend at the airport for a six-week trip,” he said, pouring a glass of chocolate milk. 

“Not my girlfriend.”

“Not the important part of that sentence.”

Kristoff snagged the bottle and poured himself a cup. “This is mine, by the way, so you owe me.”

“Fine, I’ll buy toilet paper l-- no, I know you, Bjorgman, you’re trying to distract me.”

Sven narrowed his eyes further, fixing Kristoff with a hard stare. He tried to look as innocent as possible as he went to rummage through the fridge, but then he remembered the way Anna had clung to him, the feel of her little hands in his hair, the press of her lips against--

“Oh my god! You kissed her!”

Kristoff stood, not bothering to hide his smile anymore. “Well, technically, she kissed me.”

“I fucking called it, man, I knew you wouldn’t be able to hold off that much longer.”

“We really did try.”

“You didn’t even make it a week, my guy,” Sven said amiably, meandering into the living room. “You tried harder at Mario Kart the other night. Which, by the way, I know you lost on purpose so Anna could win.”

Kristoff considered arguing, but then his phone lit up with a text from Anna, so instead he grinned and walked away to the sound of Sven sighing dramatically. “I heard that buzz! I know it’s her! Jesus, I’d say get a room, but--”

Kristoff didn’t hear the rest as he shut his bedroom door.

kris!! theres wifi i can text you

Im in first class look 

..

That’s crazy

They gave you champagne this early in the morning?

..

supposed to be for mimosas

but it’s like 5 o clock somewhere

specifically romania so

..

That jet lag is going to be rough.

How long is your flight?

..

10 hrs to london then 3 to bucharest💀

but i think my seat turns into a bed so ill try to sleep

theres sooooo many movies tho!

omg theyre bringing more snacks….i feel like a movie star already

..

You kind of are.

..

havent made the movie yet!!

oh the director is here he wants to talk ttyl

..

:)

---

day 4

For some reason, her hands were shaking as they hovered over the green button. “Just do it, Anna,” she muttered to herself. “It’s just Kristoff. He told you to call.”

Thanks to the time difference and long flights, it had taken most of two days to even get here, and on her first full day in Romania she’d been so overwhelmed with the film set and meeting her co-star Adam and talking to the directors and producers and costumers and cameramen that she’d completely crashed the moment she’d gotten back to her hotel room. She’d woken up in the middle of the night and sent Kristoff a quick text apologizing for not calling; he’d responded almost immediately, reassuring her that it was fine and to just call him the next day. At a reasonable hour, he’d made sure to add, not at 2 A.M. Go back to sleep.

She had, and then she’d nearly missed her alarm and hadn’t had time to call him in the morning, and then she’d been filming her first scene and been so overwhelmed by all of that that now it was nearly six o’clock, and it was the first time she’d gotten to look at her phone all day.

He’d texted her once at around 9 A.M. her time. Good luck today! You’ll kill it. Her heart had done a funny little flip at the message, simple as it was; every time she thought of Kristoff, it didn’t feel quite real, like it was just a daydream she would wake up from, but here it was, concrete proof that even literally halfway around the world-- more than halfway, actually-- he was still thinking of her, still caring about her.

The remembrance of that was what finally gave her the courage to hit call. She felt too nervous to FaceTime him, especially considering she was already in sweatpants and halfway through eating a bowl of pasta on her bed. He picked up on the third ring, sounding breathless for some reason.

“Hey! Anna! How are you?”

“I’m, um, I’m good! How are you? You sound kind of...out of breath?”

“Oh, yeah, you caught me at the gym, so I--”

“Oh! I’m so sorry, let me hang up and--”

“No, don’t! I’m almost done, just--”

There was a quick beep in the background, and a whirring noise she hadn’t noticed until now stopped. “Okay, sorry, we’re good.”

She couldn’t help but imagine what he looked like right now, with his hair hanging in his eyes and sweat dripping down his very well-muscled--

“Anna? You there?”

He’d just asked her something, but she’d been too busy daydreaming to catch it. Maybe it really was for the best she hadn’t gone for FaceTime; she probably would have been struck speechless at the sight of him. “Sorry, I was just-- sorry. Um. What did you say?”

He laughed softly. “I asked how your first day of filming went.”

“Oh! It was good, really good, actually. We filmed that scene I auditioned with, actually. They changed the bit about the cowboy boots.”

“Thank god. I don’t know anything about movies, but I know that was awful.”

“Oh, yeah, Adam-- that’s who’s playing Jesse-- he said they’d have to double his paycheck if they wanted him to say shit like that, and then we kind of improv-ed something else and it went really well.”

“That’s awesome!”

Anna felt herself blushing, just barely, at the sound of the genuine pride in his voice. “It was, um, it was nothing, really.”

“So how’s all of it going? Are the...um...honestly, I don’t know who all is involved in making movies. But are the other people nice?”

“Yeah! I really like the girl who does my hair and makeup, her name’s Honey. Isn’t that cute?”

Kristoff laughed; she could hear him starting the car in the background. Anna bit her lip. “Oh-- did you get to shower?”

“I will at home, don’t worry. Anyway--”

“You need to focus on driving? Yeah, I totally get it, seriously. Bye!”

She hit the red button and quickly dropped her phone. Her heart had been pounding the whole time; god, she was really out of practice with this whole thing. Embarrassment swept over her, and she buried her face in her knees; how the hell was this going to work when she was too self-conscious to talk to him for more than five minutes? God, she’d be lucky if he ever bothered to call her again after this.

To her surprise, the phone buzzed only a moment later. She debated picking it up for a long moment, then decided to go ahead and rip the bandaid off and snatched it up.

Just FYI, I was feeling really nervous, too. Want me to call you back after I get home and shower?

For some reason, tears started to fill her eyes as she typed a response. 

yes please :)

She showered, too, taking her time as she let the hot water work its magic on the tension in her shoulders, drawing in slow, deep breaths to steady herself. It wasn’t that every guy she’d ever dated had been bad, per se, just that it had been quite a long time since she’d been with someone who made her feel this nervous and excited and terrified and joyful all at once-- actually, now that she thought about it, she didn’t know if she’d ever liked someone else this much right off the bat. Since coming to L.A. almost two years ago, she’d had a string of bad luck with men, and it was strange readjusting to the notion that one would want to talk to her as much as she wanted to talk to him, that he actually wanted to hear about her day, that he saw right through all her embarrassing little defense mechanisms and somehow knew just what to say to make her feel better. Of course they knew each other, but this was something different, something more, as if she didn’t even have to say something for him to understand.

Her phone buzzed again ten minutes after she got out of the shower; with a smile, she picked it up.

“Hey, Kris.”

“Hey, Anna.”

“Ready to try again?”

“With you? Always.”

---

day 9

“So I was telling her, like, ‘I wish I had a recent picture of him to show you because he’s like, super super hot.’ And she kind of made this face and was like ‘that won’t make a difference.’”

He’d put the phone down on the counter while he made breakfast, but now that his hands were free again he still didn’t pick it up; after their initial awkward phone call, they’d started FaceTiming instead, and as much as he loved seeing her face, he was really glad she couldn’t see his right now. 

“And I was soo confused, so I started telling her, like, ‘Seriously, Honey, he’s got this amazing blond hair that you just like, want to touch all the time and these big brown eyes and little freckles and plus I’m pretty sure he’s kind of ripped and I—‘ Kristoff, I heard the microwave go off already. Are you hiding from me?”

“No,” he muttered, his face turning even redder. 

Anna giggled. “Then show me your face.”

He did so reluctantly; to his surprise, she didn’t laugh. “Kris, you know you are, like, super handsome, right? Seriously.”

“I’m, um, I’m just gonna—“

“I mean it. Like I get why you’re feeling shy about it and stuff but just know that, okay?”

He only nodded, feeling a little better, although his face was still heated. Anna, knowing when to leave well enough alone, smiled at him and continued her story. “Anyway, I told her all that and she just started laughing, and finally when I was done she was like ‘Anna, I’m gay’. And so then I showed her a picture of my sister, and I’m just saying, when we’re back in LA, we’re definitely doing a double date.”

—-

day 15

She didn’t know why she felt so nervous about telling him about it. She’d already texted him that morning telling him what scenes they were filming, and it wasn’t like it had meant anything; it was just part of the movie, and Adam was married anyway— but then again, it wasn’t that part that had really been bothering her. She still wasn’t sure until she was explaining it all to Kristoff, forcing herself to maintain eye contact as she held up her phone inside the blanket nest she’d constructed on her bed. 

“And like, he and I are good friends now, so that at least made it easier. And we were all in character and stuff, so, you know, it felt right, and then they started the fake snow going and we just did it, you know?”

“Uh-huh,” Kristoff said, his voice neutral. 

“That like— this doesn’t bother you, right?” she asked quickly. “Because seriously, it didn’t mean—“

“Anna, I know. This is literally your job, I’m not jealous or anything. But please tell me if I ever make you feel like I’m mad or something, because I’m seriously not.”

She let out the breath she’d been holding. “I— I know. I just...wanted to make sure. Because it still, like...still felt weird to me, you know? And I can’t figure out why.”

He nodded thoughtfully. “Have you done this before? Like, stage kissing and stuff?”

“Oh, yeah, lots of times. But this time felt kind of different. I just don’t know why.”

He considered it for a moment, looking so thoughtful she couldn’t help but smile, feeling a little flutter in her chest at the thought that he really and truly cared about helping her figure this out. “Enough about me, though, tell me about that crazy to-go order you texted me about. Did you end up getting to see the person who’d ordered it?”

They talked for so long Anna lost track of time, until she yawned so widely Kristoff stopped talking mid-sentence. 

“Anna, what time is it there?”

“Um...close to eleven?”

“What time did you get up this morning?”

“...four.”

He laughed softly. “Get some sleep. I’ll talk to you again tomorrow morning, okay?”

She wanted to argue, but honestly she’d been fighting to keep her eyes open for the last half hour. “Night, Kris.”

“Night, Anna. Sweet dreams.”

He said that every night, but the way he’d smiled tonight— she was thinking about it until long after she’d hung up her phone and closed her eyes. Then, suddenly, she sat upright and snatched it up again, typing furiously. 

figured it out...before, there’s never been someone i ACTUALLY wanted to kiss instead 

..

:)

I wish it had been me, too. 

—

day 21

hey kris!!! sorry i know it’s the middle of the night there so i hope this doesn’t wake you up but i set an alarm on my phone for the exact time and as of like 10 seconds ago we’re halfway there!!!!!!! 😊😊😊

To her surprise, a response came just a few minutes later. 

:) Knew we could do this.

—

day 23

“I got my class schedule today.”

“Yeah? Show me!”

He held it up awkwardly to the camera, and she squinted at it. “Oh, wow, that’s a lot of blocks. Are you still going to work at Starbucks?”

“Yeah, I’ve been there the whole time I’ve been in school. Just work less hours on weekdays, usually pick up some early morning weekend shifts.”

“Oh, that sucks.”

He shrugged. “It works out. I, uh, I’ve got some scholarships that cover most of my tuition, so then it’s, y’know. Rent money and stuff.”

Anna frowned, feeling suddenly acutely aware of how much money she was making for a lot less work. “Will you have, like...any free time?”

“Oh, yeah, of course,” he said quickly, suddenly sounding nervous. “I promise I’ll still have time to hang out with you and stuff, just--”

“No, no that’s like-- shit, that’s not what I meant, Kris, I mean I kind of did but like-- I’m not trying to like, pressure you or--”

“No, I get it, I--”

“No, I mean like school is way important and you like--”

“Seriously, when I say we can--”

Anna took a deep breath. “Okay. You talk first.”

“I, um. I don’t want you to think, like, I won’t make time for you or something, though. Um-- that was all.”

She smiled, wishing she could be there in person; it was so much easier to reassure him when she could just squeeze his hand. “Seriously, that’s not what I meant. I was just worried about you, ‘cause that’s, like, a lot of stress. So if there’s anything I can do to like, help or whatever, just...just let me know. Like...with anything.”

“Seriously, I think it’ll help a ton to just have a pretty girl keeping me company while I study.”

She felt her cheeks turn pink. “What if I end up wanting to distract you?”

Now she wasn’t the only one blushing.

---

day 30

“Miss you.”

“Miss you, too.”

Tonight, there wasn’t really anything else to say.

—- 

day 34

He’d stopped leaving his phone on silent overnight; it was silly, really, but he always had a tiny fear that maybe something would happen over in Romania while he was asleep, and maybe Anna would need to reach him, and there probably wouldn’t be anything he could actually do...but still.

Despite that, though, it still took a lot to wake him, so when his phone went off one night close to three in the morning, he nearly missed the call. “Hello?” he mumbled sleepily, putting it to his ear.

He heard a familiar little giggle. “It’s FaceTime, Kris. I’m sorry to wake you up, I just-- I really wanted you to see this.”

“Oh-- hang on.” He fumbled for his glasses on the nightstand, sliding them on and blinking blearily at the screen. “Um...where are you? I just see, like...the ceiling?”

“Oh-- that’s cause I gave my phone to Honey, just a second, and she’ll show you.”

The phone was lifted up suddenly by a pretty woman with bronze skin and dark hair thrown up into a bun. “Nice to meet you, Anna’s boyfriend.”

He wondered if she could see him blush even in the dark room. “Nice to meet you, too.”

“Okay, okay, I’m ready!” he heard Anna chirp from somewhere. “Turn the camera!”

Honey did with a laugh, and Kristoff sat upright, his eyes wide. Anna was in a deep blue ballgown that fit perfectly to her torso before flaring out into a long, shimmery skirt. Her hair was down, set in curls that shone especially bright against the dark color of the gown, and she was smiling so brightly he thought his heart was going to burst.

“You look beautiful, baby,” he said, half-convinced he was still dreaming.

She was quiet for a moment, and then he realized she was blushing bright red. He heard Honey giggle, and then the phone was being handed back over to Anna. “You’ve never called me that before.”

“What, beautiful? I definitely--”

“No, I--” Her blush deepened. “Kris, are you wearing a shirt?”

He glanced down. “Oh-- uh, no, I’m not. Sorry, I didn’t think you’d be able to see without the lights--”

A mischievous glint was twinkling in her eye. “Trust me, Bjorgman, there’s nothing to apologize for.”

Now he was blushing, too. “Um-- so you’ve got to be filming something special today, right?”

“Yeah, the big ballroom scene. I just...I really love this dress, and the way Honey did my hair and stuff, and I, um...I wanted you to see.”

He smiled softly. “I’m glad. You really do look so, so beautiful.”

She opened her mouth to say something else, but then he heard Honey call, “Hey, Anna, say bye to the boyfriend, they want you on set in five.”

Anna turned back to the camera, looking suddenly nervous. “Kris, are you my boyfriend?”

“Do you want me to be?”

“Yeah.”

He grinned, no longer sleepy. “Okay.”

Anna laughed. “Okay?”

“Hey, it’s still the middle of the night, and I’m still kind of speechless after seeing you in that dress. Cut me some slack.”

“Go back to bed. Sorry I woke you up.”

He yawned. “I’m not.”

---

day 40

“Look! All packed!” She grinned, turning her phone quickly around the room to show off her only slightly overstuffed suitcases. “And ready to come home!”

“Do you think you’ll miss it?”

“No, I mean...it’s beautiful and all here, but it’s still not home.”

Kristoff grinned at that. “You still want me to pick you up from the airport?”

“Um, is that even a question?”

He laughed. “Just making sure! I mean, six weeks is a long time, don’t know if you got tired of me.”

“Kristoff, the second I get back to LA, I’m like, jumping on you again and kissing the fuck out of you.”

He waggled his eyebrows. “And then?”

She could tease him, too. “And then you’d better hurry the hell up and take me back to your apartment so I can show you how much I missed you.”

“....Jesus Christ. Why does waiting two more days suddenly feel so much longer than the other forty?”

[pepprs]

tonight’s Big Emo Thought is: *spins wheel* the implications of *spins wheel* not talking abt *spins wheel* crying for two completely different reasons *spins wheel* at *spins wheel* The Retreat 5 months ago :-))))!!!!!

[tchaikovskaya]

lol trying not to disclose much identifying info here but a really good friend of mine who goes to a different university (so the prof in question has absolutely no clue who i am) is taking this summer french lit course she Absolutely Needs to finish before next semester starts in mid sept (complex situation and not even in an interesting way so i wont elaborate) and in the last week her life has kind of ground to a halt bc her dad, who was diagnosed w pancreatic cancer like 2 or 3 months ago, is almost definitely not going to survive to the end of the month. so anyway she has this 10 pg final paper in french to write for 35% of her total grade and yesterday she sort of desperately asked me to do it for her and i agreed (tbh in situations like this where u feel so helpless watching ur friend in pain like that ur willing to do anything to lighten their burden in any sense, yknow?) and its due in 10 hrs and i only have 2 pgs done (i know what the rest will say i just have to commit words to paper which is the hardest part ohhh good 😌) and i got 3 hrs of sleep last night and the last 48 hours have been wildly stressful for me and im fucking exhausted but i would literally never ever forgive myself if i dropped the ball on this. beyond just the concepts of following through, keeping my word to my friend, etc. i would feel so fucking horrific if she thought one of the bajillion major things she had to worry about right now was handled and actually it wasnt and it falling to shit was all my fault hahahahaha like just the thought of adding to her struggles makes me feel so bad :( but honestly im not sure if i can pull this off. im gonna try my fucking hardest tho thats for sure. i dont think ive ever been anywhere close to this determined to get some academic shit finished by a hard deadline when its been something i was turning in for myself or something i was writing for another student for pay idk its a brand new sensation???

anyway pray 4 me cuz i need it