#but i got a lot to do to make up and just in general this weekend 😔

[buggachat]

SEASON 6 ILLUSTRHATER THOUGHTS

honestly, I was expecting the animation to be more jarring for me than it actually was. It was actually really easy for me to get into and tbh just looks really nice. Adrien is the character I'll need to get used to the most, but I like his look fine, I just need to get used to it.

But like. special shoutout to nino. NINO????? NINO LOOKS. SO FUCKING CUTE. I love him so much I want to squish his face?? I'm almost unable to watch this episode in a normal way because I'm too busy staring at Nino's adorable face the whole time.

the DJWifi was so cute in this episode. theyre so sweet

in general I really like the redesigns of all the characters. I think they all look like... them. Like Nathaniel looks more like Nathaniel to me, Kagami looks more like Kagami, Sabrina looks like Sabrina and Ivan looks like Ivan. I can't describe it — they look like they've matured enough to have a better understanding of who they are. I like it.

Also, the intro sequence. If there's still any doubt about whether the show will address "marinette's lie coming back to bite her / looming over her" this season, I feel like the intro answers that pretty clearly and with a distinct tone

Another thing — the background characters look soooo much better in the new animation. Not only do they not look like terrifying low res monstrosities like they did in the old show, but they have such a wide array of distinct body types that i really appreciate. a lot of diversity in the crowds w race and disability too. and they look good. it's really refreshing.

I. LOVE. the new butterfly-telepathy sequences. the way that butterfly!lila talks to her victims in a little dreamscape where she's able to use her body language and manipulation tactics. I cannot actually emphasize how much this strangely excited me. It feels so much more emotionally impactful and interesting and dynamic and Lila than what Hawkmoth did

I know people are going to be upset about Marinette being awkward around Adrien again, but I feel like it makes a lot of sense to me. In the more general sense, it makes a lot of sense for this soft-refresh of the show that is marketing itself to a new audience to re-introduce the adrienette dynamic in a way that is just a smidge redundant to old fans. This is kind of important background on how Adrien and Marinette have always been with each other and the context of their relationship! That's important to show.

As a more in-character/universe explanation — while, yes, Adrien and Marinette started to get much more comfortable in their relationship in the old season, they never really got time to BREATHE. they were awkward and messy for the majority of their time together in s5, and then right as they started to get comfortable, Gabriel started puppeteering Adrien in a way that made things pretty tense for them, and then a whole whirlwind happened where he was sent away, and then his DAD DIED and he presumably spent a lot of the summer in mourning and— and— i dunno. I don't think it's too much of a stretch for me to believe that their relationship still feels awkward, especially when a new butterfly villain just popped up and likely reminded marinette of the whole Fiasco and threw her into mega-stress mode.

Their relationship isn't technically all that "new" like they act like it is, but this IS actually probably the first time they've been able to go on regular dates like this! So it feels new, they're still sort of in that "new" stage. Before, Gabriel was keeping Adrien away, and then Adrien probably wasn't in a good headspace for a lot of the summer after he died.

(Also, I just enjoy watching Marinette be awkward about Adrien. I definitely prefer them re-treading some old ground to new audiences than for their relationship to feel too jarringly different than how we've seen them interact in the past. I wouldn't want the time skip to be used as too much of a crutch, especially when I expect that Adrien spent a lot of it in mourning)

But anyway, they're still kissing in the season intro, and this is only episode TWO of the season, so I'm excited to see them gradually get more lovey dovey as the season goes on. (Or for Marinette's stress and guilt to overwhelm her! Who knows! I'm down!)

Oh also, Ladybug looks SO GOOD. she is so shiny and pretty and I love the red in her hair and i love her and I love ladynoir talking about their relationships and and and. and. i love them. thanks for coming to my ted talk

[strwberri-milk]

Hello hrllo may i request fem reader that likes fawning over lnds biceps/muscles 🙏🙏🙏 i have something with sexy muscles 😞😞😞🙏🙏

ngl i dont really get muscles lmaooo

Zayne doesn't think he has too much to fawn over. He is muscular but a lot of that is for function just in case he finds himself needing to be able to lift a patient without assistance - which doesn't actually happen very often. That does generally make him quite strong and when your fingers start to trail over his skin, prodding and poking him as you feel him up. He always lets you do it because it seems to entertain you but he doesn't really have many thoughts about it.

Xavier doesn't care how you poke at him as long as it doesn't hurt. He's on the leaner side but is definitely still muscular, flexing for you if you ask him to but he doesn't seem as committed to the bit as you want him to be. He just doesn't really get it either but he doesn't mind entertaining you.

Rafayel will pose and flex for you, telling you to "touch me here, yeah and there too cutie" because he loves the feelings of your hands on him. He'll take your wrist and trail your fingers all over the contours of his body, showing off as he tries to tempt you into getting a little more frisky with him. Every time you fawn over him he gains +5 cockiness, definitely even more proud of his body and the way he looks when you're looking at him the way you do.

Sylus knows you like his muscles because he's seen the way you stare at him when he's got his shirt off. He pretends he has no idea when you're doing when you hug him and try to feel him up at the same time, playing dumb if you pout as he gets himself dressed again. Sometimes, when the two of you are cuddling though he'll let you lay across of him in such a way that it's easier for you to feel him up, not saying anything but he does make it so that his muscles are more exposed for you to fawn over.

[lyricwritesprose]

Actually, as someone who used to study anthropology (albeit a very long time ago), I think it is generally accepted by now that the ability to Carry Containers Of Stuff is generally agreed to be one of the real tool-using leaps in human development, perhaps as important as fire. I mean, you'll get the impression that people studying early humans are basically spearhead experts, but that's just because spearheads don't decay. (And because for a long time people assumed that hunting was The Most Important Thing, which has a fascinating intersection with implicit bias and sexism and stuff, and yes I am still bitter at things like 2001 for popularizing the idea that the most important part of human evolution was the ability to bash the shit out of a thing/animal/person, but that's a whole other story.)

Carrying stuff is huge.

If you can put meat in a bag, you can carry more meat. If you can put something like nuts in a bag, then nuts abruptly become a food that you can bring back to the tribe or save for later and not a food that you're required to eat on the spot because they are tiresome and stupid to carry by hand. In both cases your ability to feed yourself and your tribe just got a whole fuck of a lot better.

If you can put your baby in a bag, you now have both your hands free to stick a spear into things, pick nuts, fish, dig tasty cicadas out of the ground, etc. Your ability to feed yourself and your tribe just got a whole fuck of a lot better, and so did your ability to defend yourself while you do it. (And let's face it, your babies were already getting downright ridiculous in terms of the time it takes them to be fully walking-ready, due to brain size and being essentially premature; inventing Multitasking With Baby is like, pure survival at this point, and your way to do that is to create a specialized bag.)

If you can put water in a bag (first water containers very well may have been animal bladders or stomachs, not pots) you can bring water to your sick tribe members and they have a much higher chance of recovering.

And then you have elaborations of the basic "thing that contains objects" idea. If you make an exceptionally loosely woven bag and put it in the water, you can on occasion finesse some fish into it. And then you have delicious fish. If you put yourself in a loose and flexible bag of animal skin, your tribe can operate in the cold better, which changes your entire migration pattern and opens up new environments to you. If you make a hard container and fill it with water and put it over your fire, you have invented a new type of cooking that unlocks whole new food types, such as vegetables that need softening in order for humans to eat them. (Of course at the same time your stomach is becoming steadily more dependent on being able to fuck with your food in this way, but that isn't necessarily a bad thing, because the less energy you spend on digestion, the more energy you have to spend on other things, like brains. And big brains are good for unlocking whole new levels of communication, allowing for fantastic new levels of foraging cooperation, passing knowledge through generations, mate selection, and even various sorts of mental recreation where you imagine something that you don't see, and then convey that to your fellow beings.)

Bags are important, is what I'm saying.

First ape to go to the watering hole with a container and put some of the water in it so that they could drink more later without returning to the watering hole must have been lauded as a fucking genius.

[fushiguruuzzzz]

THE HUNDRED DOLLAR LOVE AFFAIR

After picking up a job at the local pet shop, you learn very quickly that your coworker is a pest you can’t shake all that easily. When he grows to believe he could have you wrapped around his finger if he tried, he’s even bold enough to make a bet on it. Unfortunately, he won a long time ago.

TETSURO KUROO X F!READER

𐔌 . ⋮ CONTENTS ◞ smau hybrid, implied to take place in the summer after grad, friends to lovers, I’m not in college so likely inaccurate descriptions, miscommunication, probably somewhat ooc, (light?) angst, reader has parental issues, reader jumps to conclusions (she is me), they’re all just really stupid like I’m pissed off and I haven’t even written it yet, alcohol usage, crude humour, foul language, individual chapters have specific warnings, 🏷️ denotes written parts

MOODBOARD | PLAYLIST

𐔌 . ⋮ MEET THE EMPLOYEES <- [collective intros]

◞ YN LN :: fuzzy socks, late nights spent staring at the ceiling, Things to Do by Alex G, loving like a cat, humming lullabies to a loved one, a wardrobe filled with everyone’s clothes but your own, indirect displays of love, whispering “I love you” when you think they’re asleep, caramel, everything or nothing

◞ TETSURO KUROO :: messy hair, teasing, car rides, cheesy singing and using a hairbrush as a microphone, lying your head in your lovers lap, playful boasting, the sidewalk rule, looking for them in a crowd, sparing others emotions at the cost of your own, becoming a mentor to everyone you meet, determination

⌗ CHAPTER 00 | kitty cat

⤷ let’s take it back to the beginning…

⌗ CHAPTER 01 | kuroos out the window 🏷️

⤷ the new beginning… of the end?

⌗ CHAPTER 02 | son in law

⤷ he’s got a brain worth killing for, that’s for sure.

⌗ CHAPTER 03 | common beggar 🏷️

⤷ …or maybe not.

⌗ CHAPTER 04 |

⤷ tba

⌗ CHAPTER 05 |

⤷ tba

STATUS ◞ ongoing TAGLIST ◞ open :: 23/50

⤷ @adoresia @kawoala @sahrii @angeleilee (<- asked to be tagged. Extended taglist will not be tagged on the masterpost.)

General tags (only for mlist): @sh0ot1ngst4r @azinniyaa @kashee-h @fiannee @lizbix @aldebrana @laaalaaaloooppppsiiieeeee

❝ Made up a game . No pain, no gain . Until you break . Make no mistake . I will pull it together . You can love me . Forever and ever ❞

a/n — FINALLY. been in the drafts since the Kilby girl masterlist was first posted and it’s been staring at me longingly ever since, i could feel it. I did project on this one a lot haha… haha… sorry

P.S. Posting schedule will be worked out in the future <3

[universalcas]

Dean wakes up and it's the 24th of January. His 46 yo body aches in new parts that he knows were fine last year but it's nothing he really minds nowadays. Sometimes he can't even believe he made it that far, so if the punishment these days for defying Chuck and Death several times in the past is backpain and some aching joints, that's more than welcome. 24th of January it's like any other day for him. He hasn't celebrated his birthday in years, maybe since he was eight and just because he stole a biscuit and some candles that clearly didn't add up to the right number. A birthday celebration is something Sam always had because he damn well made sure of it. So this year, the 24th of January lands on a Friday that looks like every other Friday when you are (finally) retired from hunting and you live in a big house with your now husband that came back from the Empty and decided to stay for good after a very heart-touching reunion where everyone cried like a baby (including Sam). Said husband is now missing from the shared bed and his side is slightly cold but since he put all the cards (and his heart) on the table, a missing Cas isn't something that scares him anymore.

Sam's in the kitchen, drinking something that's doesn't look like coffee but fortunately isn't a smoothie either. The rays of morning sun that enter from the kitchen windows reflects on his face, his skin looks healthier as it does his own since all of them left the bunker, and Dean is so glad he got to live enough to see his little brother grow and become the man he is today.

"Hey! Where's everyone?" He asks, ruffling Sam's hair quickly enough to avoid retaliation.

Sam huffs and closes the book he's currently reading. Something on civil rights that probably has to do with the online degree he started to pursue a year ago but maybe it's Sam's morning lecture because that's what lawyers-to-be like to read. Dean prefers novels and fiction in general and his growing library is a testament to that.

"Cas and Eileen went grocery shopping" he says. "They took Miracle for a walk and Jack tagged along".

Jack has been spending some time in Heaven these days. There are a lot of things to be fixed and rebuilt under God's supervision but most days, when he isn't needed, he loves to stay in his room reading some comics, gardening with his Dad or going fishing with Dean (the first time he said "Dad! Look what I caught!" Dean cried so hard he couldn't stop for what felt like hours, scaring all the inhabitants of the lake and the poor boy in the process). So, yes, Jack has things to do Upstairs but he wanted to be at home when Uncle Sam and Uncle Eileen came visiting and decided to stay for the night.

He hears Baby's rumble accompanied by a happy bark soon followed by a soft crack of the main door. Both Cas and Eileen carry an excesive number of grocery bags for a single meal for today and Dean doesn't understand why since he know the pantry is more or less full but that feeling is quickly forgotten when Cas makes a beeline (bags and all) to put a kiss directly on his lips. It's quick and chaste, just a brush of lips on lips, but Earth-shattering anyways. Some form of a ritual between them, kissing the other one every time one of them come back from an errand or from just staying outside gardening or giving Baby some maintenance. The kiss means I love you, I'll always come back to you, and it hasn't lost his meaning after all these years.

Dean's voice comes as a squeak after that and he tries to mask it with a manly cough that fools exactly no one. Less alone Cas, whose big smile holds the brightness of a thousand lights.

"Do you need some help with that?"

"We are fine", Eileen says at the same time that Sam says "We should continue fixing the basement, don't you think?"

And that's a weird thing to say because the basement has been Dean's work in progress since he and Cas bought the house four years ago and the second thing Dean's hands love doing the most after touching Cas (out of the bedroom that means everywhere whenever he wants but inside most of the time there are rules) is fixing things. And Dean loves his brother's company, he really does, but he can't do jack shit in that regard so Dean works on it in his time alone. But he follows Sam anyways and lets Cas, Eileen and Jack do their thing since, after coming from the Empty, Cas discovered an interest in cooking (with varying degrees of success) and probably he wants to handle that today.

And ok, maybe being retired from active hunting (not from training new recruits, mind you) has softened Dean's instincts because he should have suspected that there was a plan behind everything because, when they go back to the house, the dining room has been decorated with birthday paraphernalia and the table is full of food and the people he loves the most are wearing a small party hat (even Miracle!) and matching smiles. He doesn't cry when a big pie is placed in front of him with two candles shaped in the form of a four and six and Jack proudly announces that all of it was made from scratch by he and Dad. He doesn't cry when Miracle comes with a box in her mouth that contains a ticket "to anywhere in the country, just you and me, Dean". He doesn't cry either when Sam and Eileen give him a gift of their own in the shape of an envelope that contains an ultrasound of who's going to be a future Bobby or Mary Ellen. And he definitely doesn't cry when he is suffocated in a big hug by his whole family and Cas whispers "I love you so much, Dean" and Jack says out loud "I love you, Dad!".

The question that has been trapped inside his chest the whole day escapes from his mouth only when he and Cas are alone in their room at night.

"Why all of this?"

Cas kisses him. Soft, languid and slowly, like the passage of time.

"I can remember you been proud of us everytime we achieve something" he says. "When Jack built a chair for his room without using his powers, the first time I changed Baby's oíl without your help, when Sam announced he wanted to study Law again, when Eileen got the job she wanted. You were so happy for all of us, Dean, but you should be celebrated too".

There are a lot of things Dean wants to say but none of them come to mind. He's also at lost for words when Cas produces a small box with a ribbon from a lingerie shop he recognises.

Cas's smirk and raised eyebrow are full of dirty promises and sexy rules he's more than happy to follow. But that's, well, that's a story for another time.

"

[theangelsheardyou]

Everybody talks abt the bakugous adopting toga, now get ready for: the togas adopt bakugou

They adopt him when he's around 5 years old, after an accident with his Quirk awakening heavily injures his mother, putting her in a medically-induced coma. His father isn't capable of taking care of a child after that, and katsuki is sent into foster care. Part of him has given up on the idea that his dad would ever take him back, but the other part is clinging onto the hope that his mother would wake up and find him. Wherever he is.

The Toga's foster Katsuki for a few months initially, which turns into a full year. Himiko, about 6 years old, likes the idea of having a new little brother.

(I've heard theories before that Himiko already had some other unnamed siblings since she's described as "the oldest daughter of the family" but to keep things simple let's just say she was an only child up until this point.)

(Also, I don't know whether this is canon or not, but while Himiko is her first name, we aren't sure if Toga is her real last name. But again, to keep things simple, let's just say that it is.)

Katsuki was a tough nut to crack, or maybe he would be if his foster parents ever really tried. From what we see in Toga's backstory, I assume they're not really there for their kids emotionally. As long as they eat three meals a day and have a roof over their heads, they've done their jobs, or at least that's what they think.

Katsuki and Himiko are left alone a lot. Maybe their folks are always busy at work or just didn't spend much time with them. Either way, the two become closer as the only kids in the house.

Now, canon Katsuki would probably be really judgemental about Himiko's gorey interests, but in this AU, he has literally almost killed his mother. He's in no place to judge and he knows that. No matter what crazy infatuation this girl has, it's got nothing compared to what was practically a murder.

Katsuki's a little more closed off at this age, kind of like in the canon storyline, but at age 5-6. Having lost his parents, his friends, and being put in some stranger's home, he's not the type to really show off anymore. He's hard to get to know, but Himiko never stops trying.

Despite everything, a bond begins to bloom.

Katsuki and Himiko are inseparable. They do little kid things like Katsuki going "watch this!" Before doing something cool and making sure his sister gets to watch, and Himiko cheers him on like he's just done the most amazing thing in the world. And to her, it probably was.

This is where Katsuki's show-offiness begins to bloom again. He loves showing his sister all his achievements. A perfect score on a test, an award from the sports festival at school, no matter how big or small he shows it to his sister who always cheers him on and encourages him to keep going. He works hard to get better at school, does well in sports, all to get his sister's attention, which she gives generously. She loves watching her little brother succeed in everything. Everyday she's so, so proud of him for something new. She's proud to call him her brother.

Katsuki's personality rubs off on Himiko, too. She starts to get a little competitive, especially when the two play against each other. Be it badminton, tennis, or even just a game of tag, these two are unstoppable. And there's never a sore loser because one will always be proud of the other no matter what the scores are.

Himiko also rubs off on Katsuki, more than she'd like to admit.

I don't think canon katsuki was ever the type to be grossed out or queasy about gorey things. He'd probably find dead animals on the side of the road and call his sister so she could check it out too. As they get older, he brings along a camera, so he can take pictures of all the bloody details for her to examine later. By now Katsuki has been legally adopted, though there still isn't much of a bond between him and his new parents. They are proud of his achievements of course, but they prefer to show him off at parties like a showdog. He prefers Himiko's way of showing her pride in him way more. It feels more genuine.

Katsuki and Himiko aren't exactly delinquents, but they do get into trouble a lot. Katsuki has grown to be a little more violent due to Himiko's influence, enjoying seeing the blood burst from someone's face when it comes in contact with his fist. After he beats someone up, he likes to take a moment to examine his handiwork. A broken nose, a black eye, a tooth landing somewhere, he finds joy in it. He's definitely more of a bully in this AU, not out of anger, but out of pure bloodlust.

At this point he hasn't heard much from his dad, but he visits his mom at the hospital now and then. He gives her updates on his new life, tells her about Himiko, and all his achievements. Part of him doesn't really think she'll ever wake up again. But another still clings onto the hope.

Katsuki and Himiko are middleschool outcasts. Weirdos. Freaks. They don't have many friends, but they have each other, and that's what counts.

Katsuki is still very into heroes, but he let go of the idea of ever becoming one. The shame from his Quirk awakening has left him afraid to use his own Quirk for almost ten years now. It's Himiko that encourages him to use it, calling it a beautiful ability that should be shared. It takes a while, but by graduation, Katsuki is dead set on becoming a hero. Not for money or fame, but for his sister.

Katsuki has also been very supportive of Himiko's interests from the beginning. In fact, he encourages her to become a nurse. After middle school she starts studying medicine, and by the time Katsuki's at UA, guess who's Recovery Girl's cute little sidekick/apprentice.

Himiko gets a front-row seat to all of Katsuki's high school achievements. She cheers him on from the sidelines as he wins the UA Sports Festival, while also treating all the poor souls who fought against him. This is actually how she meets Ochaco. A real meet cute.

She gets angry at how the awards ceremony went, and even got Recovery Girl to use her status at the school to speak to the teachers on her behalf. She's still pretty ticked off by the time they get home, and tells Katsuki to throw the medal away, but he doesn't. He keeps it in his room. It's a symbol of the first time in his life that someone aside from his sister acknowledged his abilities, his Quirk, as a good thing. Aizawa's speech during his fight with Ochaco was proof. After that, he follows his teacher around like a lost puppy, and in turn Himiko does, too. Now he's got two little blonde kids tailing him, and he just gets used to it at some point.

Katsuki's personality is a lot less angry and more a...weird kind of friendly. He got like, half a cup of bimbo-ness from Himiko, as well as a couple of her more tame friendly influences. But he does sometimes get a little too close, and asks questions very bluntly, sometimes offending or making people uncomfortable. But considering 1-A is just a mosh pit of weirdo high school kids, they all get along just fine.

Katsuki and Izuku reunite at UA. It was actually Izuku who approached him. Having missed all the middle school bullying since Katsuki was in another school at the time, the same one Himiko went to, he's a lot more confident. The two have a grand reunion and become better than best friends. They, along with Himiko and Ochaco, hang out together a lot in and out of school. It gets to the point that Ochaco gets a little too happy when she gets injured, knowing she'll get a free pass to visit the cute nurse at the infirmary. Izuku gets to join Himiko on the front row to all of Katsuki's victories, which assigns him as Vice President of the Katsuki Fan Club instantly.

I have so many more ideas for them and I kinda wanna draw/write more about it, so tell me what you think! If this gets very little attention my shyness and short attention span will probably shift me to something else😅

[gangstalkerbarbie]

The thing is that your parents didn't want to have you, I'm sorry to say. Maybe they thought they did, but actually that was social pressure, the feeling that once you existed they would be complete. And then sunk cost fallacy.

It was dumb of them to do, because that's not how it works, and hey, it's ok, mine didn't want me either! People who really want kids don't raise their kids in sort of like a hell where the kids can tell they're miserable because the kid exists, and then when they ask about it the parents are like THIS IS FOR YOU, UNGRATEFUL EGOIST (by your username im assuming that you also got that one a lot). Did anyone ask??? If you could have been happier and had more time for hobbies without me, why did you have me? Oh because your mother/society/God said so? Well do you see the problem?

Also you could totally have spent the time you spent sitting at the kitchen table smoking, drinking and glowering about your misery doing like, needlepoint?

Well adjusted people bring children into a life that's already rich and full and share it with them! Culture is passed on this way. And they don't tell their kids as soon as they reach their teens that ohhh don't get too comfy playing with your dollies, soon you'll grow out of it! Soon your life will also contain absolutely no colour or joy or interest, because you'll be parenting your husband/wife and the grandchildren you'll make for me to play with.

I was fortunate to have a kind of normal grandpa who didn't really do much around the house but look after us, so I got to grow up seeing him just doing his thing in peace, and there was a window in my teens where my mum let me in on her books to have someone to talk to about them. Even still I'm like, wow I'm too old for this, I should be...

But what should I be doing? It's my life. How is the concept of like an old fashioned literary discussion circle, which adults respect as a normal pastime, different from an internet fandom, exactly? How is it different from being a hobby bodybuilder?

Someday I can show my kids the things that make my life brighter, and they can decide if they want to enjoy them too. I don't have them yet because I'm not ready, but why should I stop living my life just because I'm married? So I can what, mindlessly generate blini and wise platitudes for the rest of my life? No thank you, I'm with Tolstoy's wife on this one. I don't care what a genius they are, I'm not subordinating myself to anyone.

I don't have to! Kids actually love it when their parents and grandparents are individuals. It gives them a future of their own to hope for, where they can find love and have their own kids without metaphorically dying in the soul.

Being in fandom spaces is so surreal-

Bc once your age hits a 'serious' number, you start to think - "damn, I should probably stop geeking and get more serious." But then you scroll and see a 34y/o woman writing fics after driving her kids to school, a 40y/o dude making fanart of his fav super heroes and you realize - "nah, I'm actually good"

[multiheadcanons]

TF2 MERCS AND FAMILY

scout: he loves his ma. he loves his ma so much if you even think about thinking about making a your mom joke he is genuinely on the verge of losing his shit. his ma is not a joke. she was a wonderful lady who did the best she could at all times and everyone better respect it before he respectfully shoves his foot so far up their asses they’ll be tasting his toes until christmas. he didn’t know his dad, so he doesn’t care. insult the fact he doesn’t have a dad all you want. but keep his ma’s name out your fuckin mouth. i know people like to think he’s got brothers, frankly i think he’s got cousins. all boys, from his ma’s side. about four of them. the genes are very strong on his ma’s side, so they look like they could be brothers. they were hellions. couple of them have chilled out at this point, and scout respects them for it. even if it is weird with them being dads and shit. couple of them haven’t, and he respects that too. at least they didn’t bother to lie about it.

soldier: soldier had decent parents. his dad was a drunk, and was pretty emotionally distant, but as far as he knows was never a mean or violent person. his mom was a nice old lady. no nonsense, no coddling. she was a woman with a good head on her shoulders surrounded by fools. they had both passed by the time he took the job in teufort. he misses them sometimes, but he’s glad his parents are able to rest. comforted snipes when he heard about his parents. he knows snipes really loved them. only child; his parents had fertility issues and didn’t try again after they succeeded with him. they just didn’t have the heart for it. he sees the team as his brothers. he fights with those guys (and pyro), sometimes he actively fights those guys (and pyro), and frankly is that not what brothers do?

pyro: pyro doesn’t really remember their mom or dad, but they remember their older sister! about twelve years older than them, they did most of the parenting. it wasn’t good parenting, and they argued and physically fought a lot with their sister, but as pyro grew up pyro came to understand that their parents… probably weren’t good people if their sister had to raise them. they don’t know where their sister is, but they did take the time to locate their parents, with the support of the team behind them, helping lead the charge. it was a disheartening, frankly frightening experience to see them withering away in a nursing home, but they barely knew them. they don’t know why it aches so much. they don’t know why they’re so scared. they see the team as their family. those are the people who have shown pyro they will always be there. they don’t think the team would just leave them somewhere to die. the team loves them for who they are. and they love the team. most of the team. no, no, all of the team, all of them. they just love some of them more than others.

demo: demo’s dad passed about a decade before he took the job. a jolly man. a drunk. easygoing. down for anything. demo realized after he passed he was the one who kept his mom from imploding with neuroticism. but he loves his mom. the firecracker she is. he remembers her when he was really young. she was a woman who was simply always on the ball. intelligent, creative, brutal. a giantess of a woman, though she stands five feet two. they’re on good terms as long as he’s got a job. most of the degroots are chemists of the explosive subvariety; few made it to retirement. so he cherishes his mom. he’s glad to have her around. he had a lover at one point. genevieve. a wild woman, sporadic in her time in his life and explosive when she was in it. she brought life into him, more than he thought he could contain. any day with her was a total mindset shift for tavish. quite a few years his senior; one of the brightest chemists he grew to know in his higher educational, perhaps his professional life in general. a flame he could not stay away from. she was magnetic. she passed at 30, cutting their budding romance short. breast cancer. he couldn’t make it to her hometown to attend the funeral. he sent flowers to the next of kin. it floored him. he didn’t know how she would go, but he never thought it would be from something so mundane. thinks of her often.

heavy: heavy loved his dad, he supposes. very quiet man. it was hard when he passed. it was hard being the only man in a sudden matriarchy. and in a way, he was almost blinded. he didn’t see how well his mother actually had a handle on things as he grew to fill his father’s role. so as he matured, and took the job in teufort, he was constantly worried about them. he loves his mother. he honors his mother, prays the lord blesses her every step so she may leave nothing but life and light in her wake. he will actually fucking kill you if you even speak about his mother without his express permission. and his sisters… god help them. it has taken him a very long time to accept his sisters’ absolute abysmal tastes in men. he can’t even think about it he starts to gag. he loves his niece and nephew though.

engineer: engie comes from a big family of bright and creative minds. his mama had her masters in music theory, his dad had been an engineer, as his father before him, as his father before him. middle child of four. two boys, two girls. his younger brother became a hotshot doctor, his baby sister’s a vet; his older sister does underwater welding, and family reunions are hell to plan. he’s very proud of the family he comes from. he just wishes he wasn’t the one who got roped into the mann business. but he wouldn’t wish this on his siblings either. the siblings do a conference call every couple of months to make sure everyone’s still alive. they last maybe 30 minutes before someone is called away. his mom passed about three years into the job, and they cremated her because nobody could get the time to go to the funeral. their father followed shortly after; which they understood. he wasn’t the same man without her around.

medic: medic has been surrounded by intelligent, wild, wonderful women his entire life. he is the result of a teenage pregnancy, and he is his moms best friend. she had him when she was 16. with all credit to the man, his father did stick around. he struggled for them. but they did pretty okay as medic grew up. normally went with his mom to university and was cooed over. his dad died when he was 16 from a work accident. it rocked the home. he and his mother leaned on each other heavily in the grief, and he entered adulthood with a dear friend instead of a mother. but that’s okay, because he truly needed that. he loves his mother to death. and she is very proud of her son. she’s a zany woman, with a wild imagination. fully aware of what her son has become, and is simply happy that he found a place for himself that treats him well and isn’t jail. they call each other all the time to chat, and normally will entirely halt what they’re doing to spend time with each other. heavy’s met the woman. they have the same smile. he married his childhood best friend young. another pathologically high spirited, highly gifted woman. a chemist. genevieve. something about it never felt right (he’s gay.) but nobody could deny he loved that woman with every fiber of his being that he could spare. they were two peas in a pod. you couldn’t see one without seeing the other. the first person he came out to. she passed at 30. breast cancer. it destroyed him. he didn’t think he would survive to find someone he truly loved like her. keeps their wedding photo in his wallet.

snipes: oh man. ohhhhh man. do we have to go into it. he loves his stepparents so much. he loves them so much it hurts. he just wants to do right by them. the idea he’s failing them or has failed them or will fail them genuinely eats away at his soul. he knew he wasn’t gonna have long with them, that they were on the older side when he fell into their lap, and he was grateful for every moment he got with them. it wrecked him when they passed. and nobody was there to comfort him through it. as far as he knew, nobody tried to reach out. his real parents can get fucked though. he doesn’t hate them, but he does wish he didn’t spend so much time thinking about them either.

spy: youngest of two sons. came from a decent home. both parents were hard working and supportive. he and his brother were just brutes. they argued all the time, and his parents didn’t know how to even begin pacifying them both. his mother was a schoolteacher, and his father did paperwork for a nearby firm. they were fine, honorable jobs. made enough to live comfortably. it just wasn’t enough for him. for either of them. it wasn’t enough for one of them alone. his parents passed shortly after he reached adulthood, and he hasn’t spoken to his brother since the funeral. in a way, the team is his family. he has nothing left to go back to, that he knows of. he wouldn’t know who else to even turn to if he needed some backup muscle, or a medication, or a differing perspective, or a soundboard, or entertainment, or company, or support. the team has taken care of him, and in a way loved him, truly, for years. even if they weren’t explicitly in the room, they’ve seen him at his absolute worst. they’ve seen him at his absolute best! and stayed. and even if they don’t think it’s true, spy would be there for them if they needed him.

[restlessmaknae]

got me so lovesick // gyuvin

A school radio announcement goes wrong, and you accidentally end up confessing to the whole school that you might have a crush on a member of the school band - which consists of Gyuvin, Taesan, Jungwon and Yechan.

➳ Characters: band member!Gyuvin x school radio host!female reader/you

➳ Genre: high school au, boarding school au, rich kids au, comedy, fluff

➳ Words: 6.4k

➳ Warning: mentions of food, drinks, reader is a bit chaotic and overdramatic and overthinks a lot

➳ A/N: This story is part of my KOZ International High series, but can totally be read on its own as it's Gyuvin's own story.

“Good morning, everyone! This is your host, Y/N, and me and the whole school radio team hope that you had a wonderful summer. We would like to warmly welcome the freshman and welcome back all the other students. This year will probably be very challenging for a lot of you, especially for me and my fellow seniors, but since it’s still just the first day, let's not be sad! Here’s one of the most requested songs to start the new school year right with the last bits of summer: Supernova by aespa.”

You introduced the song before you pressed play on the audio. Then, you put your mic on mute and turned towards Hikaru who sat on the chair beside yours. She shook her head.

“I swear to god, we’re always ready to make the announcements, but the student service office can’t even help us out,” you grumbled as you reached for your bottle of water to take a sip from it.

It was just you, Hikaru and Seokjoon – the boy was currently checking on the cables as if you hadn’t been doing this for two years – for now, but there was also Samantha who was in the school radio club with you, and who was currently chasing after teachers and officers for any possible updates. Even though you had already sent out the survey to other students for song recs last week, and had already reached out to the school board if they wanted to make any announcements during your usual slots for the school radio, they were more or less unresponsive. Apart from getting your hands on the weekly menu at the canteen, that is.

After gulping down the liquid and your growing frustration, you turned to the head of the school radio again.

“Do you think we should make the announcements after the third period? Maybe lunch break?”

“I don’t know about you, but I would rather sacrifice the break after the third period than lunch break. I’ve been missing the cafeteria food,” the girl admitted with a lopsided smile, and you cracked up immediately.

“Fair point,” you agreed because if there was one thing you really liked about this school, it was the food at the canteen. Sure, it was a private school, so the quality of the facilities should be better than average, but you had heard that food was something that was questionable even at boarding schools. However, KOZ International High had excellent choices to suit all dietary needs and preferences, and they were also generous with the portions. Guys even lined up for seconds at times.

After agreeing on the timing of the usual announcements for the beginning of the school year, you turned back to the mic and as Supernova ended, you were on air again.

“Since everyone is still sleepy, we’ve decided to spare you from the usual round of announcements and paperwork deadlines until the third break. However, what we can say confidently, and what might wake you up is that Insomnia, the school’s one and only band is back! They are going to perform at today’s ceremony, to officially kick off the school year in good spirits. And for all the freshmen who are new to them… you’ve been seriously missing out until now,” you teased playfully before bidding your goodbye with a promise to come back with the announcements later on. One slot down, one more to go.

Seokjoon huffed behind you, and you and Hikaru both turned towards the boy, eyebrows raised in question.

“I don’t know what’s so good about that band. They are good, but they are pretty much mid,” he blurted out the cause of his disapproval, and you exchanged a glance with Hikaru in disbelief. You were of the opinion that the creation of Insomnia was the best thing to happen in your sophomore year because the school finally had a band, and because the school ceremonies finally didn’t suck. The four-membered band frequently performed at school events, and even had their own Youtube channel which had grown rapidly over the past 2 years.

Not to mention that the four members – Taesan, Jungwon, Yechan and Gyuvin – were still very much approachable and friendly with others, and they didn’t look for any trouble unlike Seokjoon who always felt the need to pick on others for liking different things than he did.

“Just because you listen to different kinds of music doesn’t mean that they are mid in their own genre,” you reasoned calmly, but of course, that wasn’t good enough for the boy.

“Just because they look good doesn’t mean that they make good music.”

“They look good and they make good music,” you corrected the boy who just shook his head, a knowing smile playing along his lips.

“You have a crush on one of them, don’t you?”

“And if I do, what about it?” You exclaimed as you rose from your seat, puffing your chest out confidently. You and Seokjoon had gotten into arguments before, so you weren’t one to back down from this one either.

You faintly heard that someone was trying to get inside the room, but your door was locked as usual while you were on air. Hikaru stood up from beside you to walk towards the door, but Seokjoon continued on with the conversation in the meantime.

“Who do you have a crush on?”

Just as you were about to open your mouth to answer his question, Samantha practically flew into the room and pushed you and Seokjoon away from the sound desk, pushing a button fervently before turning towards the two of you. She looked like she had been running, and you were more than perplexed because you had just said that you would make the announcements later on, so even if she had scooped up something, it couldn’t be that urgent.

However, Samantha was faster and told you why she had been rushing here:

“You guys were on live the whole time! So now the whole school knows that Seokjoon doesn’t like Insomnia, and that you, Y/N, have a crush on one of the members!”

You needed a moment to close your mouth after your jaw literally dropped, but then, your hands flew to your mouth when you realised what it meant that the whole school knew about it. The whole school included the members of Insomnia as well!

“Oh no… noooo… this can’t be happening,” you whined as you slid back into your chair, totally devastated. You covered your face with your hands as if you could hide away from everyone, but at least you couldn’t see the others’ expressions.

Hikaru put a hand on your shoulder sympathetically, and you were ready to hear some comforting words from her. Instead, she made you feel even worse when she pointed out:

“At least, you didn’t say who your crush is.”

Sure, because having a crush on any of them wouldn’t be enough for students to start gossiping or even worse, for the members of Insomnia to think of you as a crazy fangirl.

“Aaah, I’m so doomed…”

You were doomed.

If not from receiving multiple questions regarding your crush from multiple people in the corridor and in the classroom (even students you didn’t even know), then from agonising over what you should do when the third break rolled by. Should you apologise for the technical mishap? Which was totally your fault, by the way. You were the one who forgot to turn off the mic after signing off, so you couldn’t blame it on anyone.

Or rather, should you just act like nothing happened? That would mean you wouldn’t pressure the Insomnia members even more to tolerate your sudden confession because yes, you could admit once more that you had a crush on a member of Insomnia, but wouldn’t that make things worse? Wouldn’t that just make them more uncomfortable? Should you just say that it was a rhetorical question, nothing more?

Your two friends had different opinions on the matter, so mulling over it beside them in your classroom didn’t help either. Hikaru said that you should totally say that it was a rhetorical question if you wanted to avoid further gossip, but Hiyyih was of the opinion that you should confirm that you liked one of them. Who knew? Your crush might like you back.

“Ah, I don’t think that’s a good idea, to be honest,” Hikaru shook her head, and she looked like she didn’t want to say why she found it so unlikely that Han Taesan – the leader of Insomnia – would like you back. Yet, when you started questioning whether it was because you weren’t enough for a boy like him, she quickly dismissed your doubts.

“No, it’s just…” She started hesitantly, and looked around before leaning closer to the two of you. “I’ve heard from Kit that Taesan sat beside the head of the Maths club on the way home from their school trip willingly. Some claim that they have seen them warm up to each other, and that she fell asleep on his shoulder!” Hikaru whispered so quietly that you almost didn’t catch her words, and well… you wished you didn’t catch them.

You leaned forward all the way and rested your head on the table, hoping that it would solve all your problems – which consisted of your school radio mishap during the first break and the fact that Han Taesan might be in love with a different girl. You were aware that he was just a distant crush. After all, you weren’t even in the same class. All four members of Insomnia were in the other class, not yours.

Yet, you had been keeping an eye on him ever since he had opened the door for you on the first day of freshman year after another guy had shut the door in your face. He was the quiet type of kind, but you liked the fact that he was always quick to respond when you asked him about band-related stuff for the school radio announcements, and he had even sent in song recs for the slots.

“I mean, you know how Kit is… it might be exaggerated,” Hiyyih tried to save the day, and Hikaru seconded that, adding that she didn’t know if it was 100% true because she had heard about it when she had come into school that day.

Still, even the probability of the summer trip events happening in any form prompted you to apologise for the technical mishap during the third break and to claim that the crush-related mention of yours was simply rhetorical. Then, you quickly moved on to announce the weekly menu, the deadlines for the international students’ paperwork and where the freshman could pick up their student ID cards.

You signed off as usual, but you couldn’t help but ponder over the whole thing even until the end of the day, even when you were forced to sit through the school year opening ceremony which would end with the members of Insomnia performing.

However, shame was rushing through your veins at the very thought of seeing the band perform after today’s events, and you felt your face flush. You felt like it would be a terrible idea to be present, and since you were at the very back of the event hall because you were already seniors, you could escape quietly after letting your homeroom teacher know that you would go to the restroom.

You let out a long sigh when you got outside of the hall, your shoulders slumped at ease. You looked around, but the corridor was blissfully empty, so you could actually head to the restroom without anyone bothering you. You planned on staying inside a cubicle until the whole event was over, but it got suffocating quickly, so you walked out, planning to get some fresh air outside of the building.

However, as you turned a corner, you managed to bump into Kim Gyuvin, the guy who played the synthesizer in Insomnia.

“Oh, sorry,” the boy mumbled with a chuckle, his fringe falling into his eyes. You had to crane your neck to look at him because he was just so impossibly tall, but his height wasn’t your biggest concern now. It was the fact that he must have heard your words from before, if not from the school radio itself because he had been outside playing basketball with some guys or whatever, then from other students for sure.

“No worries, it’s fine,” you tried to shrug it off, partially saying it to him and partially to yourself, and since he didn’t seem to want to make a further comment, you took a step to the right and started walking away from him.

However, he called after you, he called your name which made you turn around in no time. Oh no… he recognised you!

“Yes?” You asked, trying to play the dumb, but your stomach turned into a gigantic knot in no time, and you felt dizzy immediately. This couldn’t go well, surely, he knew what had happened and he wanted to call you out on it. It couldn’t be for any other reason…

“Aren’t you coming back to the hall? We’ll perform soon.”

Surely, he had to know about it, he was just playing cool, but you were on the verge of running away from him and from this whole school.

“Oh no, I’m just…” You hesitated, trying to come up with a plausible explanation, but your brain kept telling you that you were already busted. He probably saw through you, right? “I’m just not feeling… super well,” you croaked out, a drop of sweat rolling down your cheeks as the words left your mouth.

Gyuvin seemed genuinely taken aback, and you couldn’t tell whether it was out of concern or surprise, but you just wished he could leave as soon as possible. Instead, he offered:

“Do you want me to walk you to the infirmary?”

Now, it was your turn to be taken aback because what the hell? This was not the scenario you had expected, and this was not the answer you had expected. You were trying to come up with reasons as to why he would go as far as walking you to the infirmary when he knew nothing about why you were feeling off, but then, your nervous ass decided to join the game and you shook your hands in front of your chest out of desperation:

“No, no way! I mean, there’s no need. You have to go and perform anyway. I’ll be fine.”

“Are you sure?” Gyuvin quirked an eyebrow, suspiciously eyeing you, but you bobbed your head so fervently, you were afraid it would fall off. “Alright, then. Get well soon!” He wished before turning around and heading back to the event hall.

You thought it was over and you were celebrating your little victory of not making a fool out of yourself for the second time that day, but then he called out your name once more, and you almost got a heart attack.

“Thanks for defending us! We’re happy to have supportive fans like you,” he exclaimed with a big smile, a genuine one, but before you could react, the boy sprung off and was out of sight.

Needless to say, you were more shocked than ever before in your whole entire life.

Your whole life was in a frenzy for three whole days before things started to calm down again. If the whole paperwork part of being an international student at a boarding school, moving into the student halls for the semester and dealing with your jet-lag wasn’t enough, the whole school radio fiasco topped it all off.

After the technical mishap on the first day, you always double-checked whether you muted your mic or not, and didn’t dare to talk to others around you until you made sure that the whole school didn’t hear you. You had random students ask you if you really did have a crush on one of the Insomnia members, and if you did, who it was (some girl even claimed Jungwon for herself which was scary because apparently it meant that no one else could have a crush on the boy), and it just got annoying after a while.

On the other hand, it was Seokjoon who had it worse. The boy was fairly liked in your class before, but now, he complained about girls giving him the cold shoulder because he dared to disrespect Insomnia out loud.

“Well, he had it coming,” Hikaru mentioned before sipping on her mango juice, and it was true that Seokjoon wasn’t the friendliest guy at school, and he deserved to have his real personality exposed, the one that he didn’t show when he was flirting with girls.

Either way, there was already new drama with the father of one of the freshmen running for the election in her country and having memes of him speaking at an event, so you were glad that someone else stole the spotlight from you because you had enough of it for the whole year.

Whilst it was nice that you didn’t get that many knowing glances or stupid questions by the end of the first week, you simply didn’t know how to function in front of the members of Insomnia. Thankfully, you weren’t really in the same space with them apart from seeing them at the canteen, but you just had to see Taesan walk out of the school building with the head of the Maths club a week later.

It was already past 7PM, and you had finished dinner at the canteen, but your plan of peacefully walking back to the student halls was hijacked, and you had to duck behind a giant bush to not get caught. You could already picture what Taesan would be thinking if he saw you around him after classes (and probably after his band practice), and no, thank you, you didn’t need him to think that you were following him around.

You watched him crack a smile when he casted a glance at the girl beside him, and you felt something twist within you. Some raw, gawking, painful emotion overtook you, and you knew it right then and there that Kit was right. They must have warmed up to each other because though you didn’t know a lot about the head of the Maths club, you knew that Taesan wouldn’t talk to, let alone smile at just anyone like that.

Oh gosh, Hikaru was right…. Thank God you didn’t tell the whole school who you had a crush on!

“Why are we hiding behind a bush?” A male voice asked beside you, and you almost let out a squeal when you caught sight of Gyuvin crouching on your right.

“Jeez, you scared me!”

“I guess I did. You were zoning out so badly, you didn’t even hear me walk up to you,” the boy called you out, his eyes twinkling with amusement. Sure, it must have been an odd sight to see you crouched down behind a bush, but you had your reasons.

When you looked over the bush once over, you saw that the pair was out of sight, so you straightened your legs and turned to Gyuvin who did the same. Now, he was a whole lot taller than you as opposed to your crouching forms, and well, it was more difficult to take yourself seriously when you had to look up at him like that. You were sure that he thought this situation was way too funny.

“Do I really have to explain?”

“You don’t have to, but I’m kinda curious,” Gyuvin replied with an excited grin and looked at you with those big, round eyes that reminded you of your dog’s back home. You heaved a sigh, probably way too dramatic, but you just had to let it all out before you could admit the truth to him.

“So I was just coming from the canteen when I saw Taesan with the head of the Maths club walk out of the main building, and I panicked.” “Panicked? But why?” Gyuvin tilted his head in confusion, and you let out a sigh. Again.

“Well, if it had not been obvious, I had been trying to avoid you guys since the school radio incident. I was afraid that Taesan would jump to conclusions if he saw me around him after school.”

“But you live in the halls and eat dinner at the canteen. Why would he jump to conclusions?”

The boy looked so perplexed that you wondered if he really was that oblivious or he was just trying to make you feel better. After all, he could also have been the one you had a crush on, so why was he acting so… coolly? So unbothered?

“Wait, does Taesan not care about the school radio incident? About me possibly having a crush on one of you?”

The boy furrowed his eyebrows for a few seconds before his features finally smoothed out, and he let out a carefree laughter. The kind of laughter that you didn’t appreciate given the circumstances, so you smacked his side lightly to reprimand him.

“Ouch,” he yelped, reaching for the spot you just hit, but it couldn’t be as painful as he made it out to be. 

“I was being serious, Gyuvin! Don’t laugh at me!” You glared at him, putting your hands on your hips to appear more determined and more bossy than ever before. May it be because of that or because the boy was willing to answer either way, but he shared with you afterwards:

“If you want to know, we seriously didn’t give it much thought. Not me, not Yechan, not Jungwon and definitely not Taesan. So no, he would definitely not jump to the wrong conclusions. Believe me, I’m serious,” he stated in a surprisingly genuine tone, but you eyed him for a good ten seconds to see if he would break character.

When he didn’t, you let your shoulders drop and let out a long, long sigh. Again.

“Thank God! This whole situation has been giving me more stress than all my previous years here combined,” you admitted as you reached for your temple, feeling a headache creeping on.

“Oh yeah, the good old school drama. Insomnia had its fair share of them, you know,” he mused out loud, his lips curling upwards on one side. You didn’t know whether he added this to make you feel better or to make it seem like something that could happen to anybody, but you were thankful for his comment. Even more so when he reached a bottle out to you. “Want my banana milk?”

“Aww, thanks! That’s my favourite,” you squealed excitedly as you got your hands on the sweet drink. You immediately stripped the straw off and pierced it through the protective layer on top.

And somehow, this was how you walked back to the student halls with Gyuvin by your side, sipping on his banana milk.

Befriending Gyuvin was definitely not on your bingo card for the new school year.

Or well… you weren’t sure that you were friends, but you did act friendly with each other afterwards. He greeted you in the hallways, asked about your days when you met in the communal room of the student hall, and somehow, he never failed to request a song for the school radio. He even went as far as sitting beside you in the canteen for dinner much to Hiyyih and Hikaru’s amusement. Even though they knew everything, so they were aware that you two started talking since the incident, they didn’t really think much of it. Not until the boy casually plopped down beside you and the girls for dinner. He explained that Taesan and Jungwon didn’t live in the student halls, and though Yechan did, he was always the first to have dinner because that boy was hungry all the time.

After that, the girls couldn’t stop teasing you about Gyuvin, and how it seemed like you could actually have an Insomnia member to yourself even though Taesan liked a different girl.

“Come on! It’s not like that,” you protested, trying to talk some sense into the girls, but they were relentless.

“People say that it’s not like that when it’s exactly like that. Think about what happened at the sports day with Anton,” Hikaru teased with a grin, talking about the annual sports day which took place at the end of October. Someone said that they saw the school magazine writer hugging Anton after she had won the swimming competition in your year, but she denied everything. Apparently, even the tips of Anton’s ears blushed when he was asked the same question, so something must have been going on.

On the other hand, you and Gyuvin weren’t like that. At least, you didn’t think so, so you pushed Hikaru’s shoulder playfully as a sign of disapproval. The girl pushed you back and somewhere along the way, you got into a pillow fight in Hiyyih’s room while denying that you didn’t like the said guy.

However, your emotions were difficult to decipher lately. You somehow managed to get over your crush on Taesan without much of a… breakdown? Heartbreak? Sure, seeing him with the head of the Maths club for the first time hadn’t been the best feeling in the world, but he seemed happy, and that’s what mattered. Besides, it was only platonic on your part, you didn’t even interact a lot apart from what was necessary for the school radio, and things weren’t about to change in your senior year.

Plus, you had to admit that you enjoyed talking to Gyuvin. He was a really fun guy, and though you never knew when to take him seriously even though he was sometimes totally serious, you knew that he was genuine. He didn’t play a part, he was just being himself, and his jokes and playful remarks were enough to turn even your worst days into good ones.

Like that Friday night in November when you were moping on one of the couches in the communal room, holding a mug of steaming tea in your hands. Lemongrass tea was said to have a calming effect, but it either didn’t work on you or didn’t hit yet. On the other hand, Gyuvin joined you as soon as he caught sight of you, and asked why you were so down.

“It’s just that I did worse on a test than I wanted to,” you admitted, your lips curling downwards. You usually didn’t let academics get you down because you didn’t need to have perfect scores to get into the university you wanted, and your parents weren’t that strict about your grades either, but that day, you really took it to heart.

“It’s okay. There will be more tests on which you can do better…” Gyuvin comforted you, and you turned your head to look at him. He gave you a gentle smile before he reached out to ruffle your hair. A habit that you might have grown fond of. “Or you can even do worse,” he added with a shrug, his playful side resurfacing.

You immediately smacked his side to punish him.

“Hey! You do know that for someone as small as you, you do hit pretty hard,” he complained as his hands flew to the spot you hit. You stuck your tongue out at him like a child, but beside him, you could be one.

“I’m not small! You are just too tall!”

“Well, at least someone can reach the top of the shelf,” he wiggled his eyebrows, reminding you of the fact that you needed to ask for his help when you wanted to get something down from the top shelf in the communal kitchen. Because somehow the cleaning lady always put your scattered things on the top one. “Speaking of which, want a banana milk?” Gyuvin quirked an eyebrow, way too proud with himself when you immediately perked up, giving in.

However, instead of getting a bottle out of his pockets or his bag like he usually did, he prompted you to follow him to the nearest communal kitchen. Since you were provided breakfast, lunch and dinner at the school, the kitchen wasn’t equipped with a lot of appliances. Instead, it had more fridges and shelves where you could store your snacks, fruits and drinks. There was one kitchen per 6 students which was more than enough, but you and Gyuvin used different kitchens, so you weren’t super familiar with this one.

It looked the same as yours, but instead of your snacks being placed on the top shelf, Gyuvin opened the top cupboard to reveal at least eight different bottles of banana milk.

“You’re kidding!” You gaped at the sight. “You’ve been hoarding these?”

“I don’t like how they taste, but I don’t want to waste them,” the boy shrugged as if it had been an everyday thing. To be honest, one could always choose whether they wanted some kind of milk (banana, strawberry or chocolate flavoured) or juice with their meal, so he could have totally opted out. Which meant that he must have kept them for you.

The thought fazed you so much that you almost didn’t notice Gyuvin giving you three bottles of your favourite drink.

“Here you go. And if you need someone to get them for you, you can always call me,” he winked at you, all casual and cool, and you played along with him as you put a hand on your heart, feigning being touched.

“Oh, my knight in shining armour…”

You both burst into laughter, and it felt nice to hear him laugh like that, and it felt nice to be so carefree after being down the whole day. Not to mention the thought of him keeping banana milk in his cupboard for you.

“Thanks. That’s really nice of you,” you mentioned after pulling yourself together, giving him a grateful smile.

“You’re welcome.”

He smiled back at you, and in that moment, you felt like your heart did a little somersault.

Wait… was it like that now?

It was natural, really. Being with Gyuvin was all natural and fun and easy. Despite the fact that you had been so overdramatic when you had accidentally blurted out that you might have a crush on one of the Insomnia members, spending time with Gyuvin was not at all complicated or nerve-wrecking. Not that you actually spent time with the other Insomnia members, so they could ask you who you meant by that, but you know… it was still a big thing in your eyes.

These days, whenever you were around Gyuvin, you felt another layer of emotion that had not been there before, and admitting to your best friends that you might actually like the boy was somewhat deliberating. Though of course they said that they had known it all along. Especially when Gyuvin once asked you if you wanted to watch ‘The Wild Robot’ with him in the cinema because his friends didn’t want to see an animated movie with him.

“It’s totally a date,” Hiyyih squealed when you broke the news to them, but Hikaru just looked at you with those knowing eyes, and you knew that she was thinking the same.

“I mean, he didn’t say it was a date as per se, but I mean… it’s the first time we’ll spend time together off-campus, just the two of us,” you mused out loud, trying to make sense of what this occasion could mean to the boy.

“Well, at least, you’ll have an excuse to wear something nice that’s not your uniform,” Hikaru pointed out matter-of-factly, but you just realised right then and there that you didn’t even know what to wear for the occasion.

Since you usually wore a version of your school uniform during weekdays and some casual homey clothes on the weekends, you didn’t really have anything in mind. However, you were meeting Gyuvin off-campus, and you were going to the cinema with him, so you really did have an excuse to wear something else.

Which turned out to be a much more difficult task in the end, but the girls helped you choose a nice shirt with a fluffy cardigan, loose jeans and high-heeled boots to go with your usual winter coat and fluffy scarf. You thanked your friends by buying them their favourite snacks, and after getting permission from your parents to leave the campus during the weekend, you were good to go. You needed their permission because you were underage, but it was a fairly smooth process with a whole online system set up where your homeroom teacher got a notification when your parents approved your leave, and you could show the approval on your phone to the guards at the gate.

You decided on meeting the boy at the entrance – a giant gate with the school’s logo engraved into the front –, and after showing your permissions to the guard, he let you out. You started talking about the previous occasions you had left the campus grounds while taking the bus to the cinema, and time flew by quickly.

You almost forgot how much you had agonised over choosing the right outfit, but when you got inside the building, and the effect of the apparent heating hit you, you got rid of your coat and scarf immediately.

As Gyuvin turned around, he literally froze for a moment before he blurted out the obvious:

“Wow, you look different!”

“Yeah, I know. No school uniform today, thank God.”

“No, I mean…” Gyuvin tried to pull himself together, but he blinked a few times and cleared his throat before he managed to get the following words out. “You look pretty.”

Your face felt like it caught on fire right. You couldn’t help but smile sheepishly at the compliment, and ever so obviously not knowing what to do with it, you suggested getting some popcorn for the movie. Gyuvin looked just as awkward as you thought you looked like, so you felt a bit better about this whole thing. Turns out you weren’t the only one who had never done anything like this before.

After grabbing some popcorn and drinks, you were back to your usual chatty selves, and you stopped talking only when the movie started rolling. You had to admit that you had been a bit perplexed when Gyuvin had suggested an animated movie because a lot of boys your age would call them childish and cringey. You, on the other hand, were always up for a good Disney or Pixar movie, so after making sure that this invitation wasn’t a joke on the boy’s part, you had given it immediately.

You didn’t even mind. The movie was funny, heart-warming, and almost made you cry at one point. It was honestly so wholesome and you left the movie theatre in such good spirits that you felt like you could take on the world. But conquering the tests the week ahead was enough for you…

Gyuvin was of the same opinion, and as you were exiting the place, you shared your two cents on the movie, and what you liked about it. It was fun listening to the boy’s side, and it yet again warmed your heart that he oh so genuinely shared his opinion on an animated movie. Afterwards, you grabbed some good old convenience store food on the way back, filling your bellies before heading back to campus.

“To be honest…” Gyuvin started while you were waiting for the bus, and you turned to look him in the eye. It was unlike him to falter in his words, so you were extra curious what he had to say. “I didn’t even ask the guys if they wanted to come with me. I’ve wanted to see it with you,” he admitted as he scratched the back of his neck, a bit too embarrassed for his liking.

You blushed at the implication, but you blushed even more when you realised that you didn’t mind. It would have definitely been different with others around, let them be his friends or your friends.

“Y/N, can I ask you something?” Gyuvin inquired before you could properly react to his previous comment, but you bobbed your head immediately.

“Hmm?”

You just looked at him, eyes wide with curiosity, but the boy seemed uncharacteristically nervous for someone who was usually very casual. He bit down on his lower lip and let out a sigh before he finally blurted out his question:

“Do you really have a crush on somebody in the band?”

Though this was a question you had expected to get since the very first day of the semester, you didn’t expect it right now. However, you didn’t even have anything to hide from him, so you nodded, a genuine smile painted on your lips.

“Is it me?” He tried with a similarly wide smile, though he seemed reluctant. There was no turning back from here now, you knew it, and with each passing second, he just became more and more agitated, but before he could confuse your first love confession nervousness for trying-to-decide-how-to-reject-him kind of contemplation, you confessed with all the enthusiasm in the world:

“Yeah, I like you!”

And it was true. Though you used to have a crush on Taesan, if you could get over him so easily, it meant that it was just a fleeting thought rather than a real, deep-rooted crush. Instead, you were most definitely falling for this funny, silly guy who was always there for you with his banana milk and motivating (or teasing) words, and there was no denying this time that it was real.

“Ah, I’m so relieved,” he huffed with a grin, and reached out to ruffle your hair. “I like you, too, Y/N!” He said, and fireworks exploded in your heart at his words, at the way his lips curled into a gentle, never seen before smile, the kind that – it seemed like – came with confessions like this.

Now, you were more sure than ever that you were in love, and all the love songs were right about this feeling because it was all flushed faces, racing hearts and feeling out of breath for all the right reasons.

A/N: Hope you enjoyed this story of mine! Let me know what you think! 😊

Click here for my ZB1 masterlist!

If you want to read more stories of mine, let it be for ZB1 or for other artists, consider signing up for my taglist here. 🥰

Header taken from the 'Good So Bad' MV, story title taken from 'Doctor Doctor'.

Hope you have a lovely day/night! Take care! ❤️

[wingedshadowfan]

i have another hot arcane take brace yourselves.

i think the war ambessa waged on piltover wasn't caused by caitlyn.

and yes, a lot of ppl were left with that impression, because even caitlyn herself believes this to be the case:

i saw it in her eyes. she'll burn piltover to the ground for my betrayal.

but there are a few things caitlyn likely doesn't know that we, as the omnipresent audience, know through other characters:

like the fact that ambessa came to piltover because she'd heard word of hextech, the hexgates, the piltovian progress in general, and wondered if it could be weaponized against her own enemies. she wanted an edge against the mages who were out for her.

this is one reason why she fueled the piltover/zaun conflict, aside from her own ambition to conquer and rule - she thought it would lead to the accelerated creation and exploitation of hextech weapons. this is exactly what she tried to manipulate/fearmonger jayce into.

ambessa was quite lucky - jinx blew up the council, renni wanted her revenge. but jayce and viktor basically disappeared, heimerdinger did too, other scientists were failing (so there was no one to create hexweapons) and even malleable commander caitlyn refused to arm the invading enforcers with hextech, let alone give it to ambessa.

this is why ambessa was so interested in singed, a scientist who could potentially weaponize hextech, or even offer something better such as shimmer or warwick, a fully formed weapon. here's where caitlyn's betrayal becomes inevitable.

caitlyn expressed knowledge of what singed has done and was capable of - shimmer, his other experiments, the stillwated massacre - she saw him as a monster and hadn't even thought of taking advantage of his "genius" or creations.

she also probably realized singed didn't know where jinx was, wasn't working with/for her, and didn't care for that conflict much - he only wanted to bring his daughter back.

she figured what ambessa was planning had nothing to do with the ongoing piltover/zaun conflict and that she wanted to use singed to get warwick/weapons for herself and her army, unless ambessa was planning to later unleash warwick (the beast whose savagery caitlyn recollected despite not seeing it firsthand) on the undercity, which caitlyn clearly did not want. she'd spoken up about the arrests without warrants, the instigated violence, as well as the noxians' demands for fortification. she also probably expected that whatever singed would do to warwick, it would lead to a massacre right there in viktor's commune, where weapons weren't allowed.

and then vi comes along and tells her that thing is her dad and they're trying to neutralize heal him.

and caitlyn's made up her mind.

caitlyn betrays her (and caitlyn knows well to expect consequences for it), which undoubtedly hurts ambessa, vi also fucks with her pride and escapes her, rictus and other noxian soldiers die in that battle. but is that enough to start a war against her missing daughter's city over? it seems like it, because even when mel returns and offers herself up as the weapon ambessa is looking for, and it still doesn't dissuade ambessa from waging war.

but that's because at this point, ambessa's got her hands on something way better. fuck little miss kiramman and those lost. fuck hextech. fuck warwick. viktor agrees to make ambessa's entire army invincible. for that, she just needs to siege piltover to get to the anomaly in the hexgates.

so no, she doesn't do it because of caitlyn's betrayal (or at least that isn't the main motivation behind it imo), she does it out of her own relentless ambition to have the better weapon so she can avenge her son and "protect her family", as well as the fact that she simply can conquer piltover, then the mages, then anyone else she pleases.

[musclesandhammering]

(sorry, I had to respond in a reblog because I ran out of characters in my reply)

I’m sorry if I had an attitude with my reply!! I feel bad about commenting now cause I usually make a point not to bring my anti attitude onto pro posts & vice versa. I really did get a laugh out of it just because of my *insert shocked Mr krabs meme* when I realised we were on different pages lol- not because I thought your tags were wrong, just because I expected it to go in a different direction.

I probably did let some passive aggression slip in there, though, just because I always feel like Dean is largely a fandom sweetheart (especially among shippers) and usually when he’s criticised, it’s met with outrage and accusations. I should’ve been more careful not to project that onto your post, though, because i don’t even disagree with anything you mentioned.

Like… people trying to make Sam into the one who always pushed back against John and stood up for the “good” monsters and tried to protect Jack and didn’t want to kill demon vessels, while Dean did all the opposite? Yeah, definitely not. Part of the complexity of their dynamic is that they were both problematic in different ways and a lot of their issues overlap. I SO agree with you on that.

That being said, I will mention that a large part of my issue with both the character and the fans (not you in specific, I’m just speaking generally) is the exact thing you made the post about- just in the opposite direction. People insisting certain things about him are hard canon when they’re either strongly up to interpretation or just flat out fanon. I see the things I mentioned as examples of this.

And I really think like 80% of it (particularly the early seasons stuff- the porn thing and the slut shaming and jailbait comments etc etc) is that, at the time, the writers just genuinely didn’t see anything wrong with any of that stuff, so they didn’t intend those things to be negative traits on Dean’s part. They just wanted to give him some edginess and some funny one liners. Which is annoying but understandable. But now we can look back at it and say “yea so that was.. iffy” and it results in some Dean fans either calling it ooc (which.. unfortunately, it’s not) or twisting themselves into knots to explain why those things weren’t actually that bad or he only said them because of internalised whatever whatever etc… that’s a bit irritating.

The only other issues I have are how some deangirls have a slight disconnect when it comes to his actual personality (ie emphasising his protectiveness/brotherly love and brushing over his domineering behaviour and anger issues). But I mean samgirls and casgirls do that too- it’s just kinda natural to focus on your fav’s best traits and ignore their worst ones.

The other thing is his sexuality. …Listen. I’m queer myself so I know how frustrating it is to see such a perfect opportunity to make a character bi/gay- to see so many little hints and offhand comments that could have been developed into something if the writers weren’t cowards- and have to admit that all those bits of “evidence” never got solidified into anything… but they just didn’t. I’m being completely genuine. It’s so so easy to read Dean as bi via interpretational subtext, and I don’t disagree with anyone doing that… but canonically? He’s not. It’s a missed opportunity and it’s unfair as hell but he’s just not. Jensen has said he’s straight, the writers have, Dean himself has. Every bit of bi evidence can be explained away as a joke or coincidence.

And it really pains me to say that, because I get why people are so ready to die on the “Dean was intentionally queer coded” hill. But stating it as a fact, calling anyone who disagrees homophobic, letting the writers off the hook for chickening out by deluding themselves into believing bi!Dean is as good as canon when it likely never will be?? It’s so annoying. Especially when there’s other characters who (imo) were a bit more intentionally queer coded (like sam) or were outright confirmed to be lgbtq (like cas).

Again, I’m not shading you with any of this, cause I have no idea if you’ve said any of those things before. I’m just ranting out my opinions. I’d love to see your take on it, though! Seriously, I think it’s really cool that you were so nice about it and I’m really interested to hear your thoughts!!

(Reading back over this, I feel like my tone here sounds a little standoffish too, but I swear it’s not! I just don’t know how to convey emotions on the internet!! 😂😭)

so much supernatural discourse boils down to claiming a thing we actually see dean do on the show is something he would not do, claiming a thing we see dean specifically not do on the show is something he would do, claiming something all the main characters do is something dean alone is doing, or claiming something sam does on the show is something dean did.

and im so confused. because the answer is comically simple and it's a thing we all allegedly love doing and that is... watching supernatural?

[hollowed-theory-hall]

I've been reading your posts for awhile now and I genuinely enjoy reading your takes especially with Harry's characterization. so I've been wondering what are your thoughts on the lupin family? especially with teddy? although I still kinda dislike his parents' relationship i still think he's an interesting character and i wished people talked about him more outside of shipping. What would his relationship with harry be growing up? Also Lyall's death was never really confirmed, only hope's was so do you think he and Andromeda raised teddy instead of harry? It still feels odd that remus chose a 17 year old to be his son's godfather surely there were other suitable candidates than a literal teenager.

Thank you so much 💕

So, this is like entirely in my headcanon space since I did not watch/read Cursed Child and I'm not planning to. I don't consider any of the post-book material canon at all except the Quidditch World Cup in 2014, which I accept since it's fun and doesn't go out of its way to ruin established characters. I enjoyed reading it more than the epilogue, so that's something.

That being said, I often prefer to ignore many aspects of the epilogue and the World Cup article when headcanoning post-books events. I also don't engage much with next-gen stuff since I'm more interested in Harry's generation, but I do have some thoughts about Teddy.

With all this out of the way, let's talk about the Lupins.

So, I like Remadora, I think they're alright for the little we see of them. Tonks just deserves so much better than Lupin in my mind. I mean, he wanted to leave her, after he got her pregnant, for his own sense of inadequacy, guilt, and allergy to taking responsibility. Harry was so justified in ripping Remus a new one.

Now, I mentioned here, how I think Remus didn't make Harry Teddy's godfather because he thought Harry was ready (though Harry is more mature and responsible at 17 than Remus is at 37, so...), but as a way to promise Harry that he isn't going to push him, or Tonks, or anyone who loves him away anymore. It was Remus trying to apologize in a weird way that didn't really land. Especially since he goes and dies right after. (can you tell Remus is my least favorite marauder?)

Now, I find it really hard to imagine Remus as a father for Teddy had he lived. Like, I can see Tonks being a cool mom and her and Teddy matching hair colors when walking together and messing with people (and I think she could become more responsible had she lived longer). Remus is a harder one for me to envision as a parent. I mean, I think he'd be relieved that Teddy wasn't born a werewolf, but whenever he'd look at Teddy and Nymphadora, I think Remus couldn't help but feel sorry for himself and like he doesn't deserve them. While making Harry Teddy's godfather was meant to be a sort of promise, I can't see Remus fixing his habits so quickly. I mean, he'd try. But I can also see him, trying to up and leave a few times only to be talked out of it by various characters.

I think his behavior is going to put a lot of stress on Tonks too. Like, While I think they do love each other, I don't know how well their relationship would work in the long run if Remus doesn't bother to work on himself and get his fucking act together.

But in the books they both died, so Teddy is spared the mess his parents' relationship likely would've been and is instead stuck with a different mess of being an orphan with a 17-year-old caretaker. (This kid cannot win. Maybe because both his parents were kinda irresponsible and didn't quite get a grasp on adulthood when he was born)

So, post-DH, Remus and Tonks are dead, Ted Tonks is dead and we are left with a grieving Andromeda who lost all her family (again), a grieving Harry who just keeps losing people, and a newly orphaned barely a-year-old Teddy Lupin.

I think Teddy is an interesting mirror to baby Harry and Neville in a way. His parents died/couldn't take care of him because of Voldemort/his followers and he was left with only a godfather/grandmother. Teddy got both and his godfather isn't in Azkaban, so he has it a little better.

I like to imagine Harry makes sure to be super involved with Teddy's childhood, but I can't imagine a 17-year-old (almost 18) Harry post-war and maybe going back to Hogwarts for 8th year (depends on headcanon) being in a state to take care of a baby full time. I like to think Andy helps out in that first year a lot. I think Andy needs someone, some family to get her through loss. And I think Harry could enjoy Andy's company too. I'm sure she has plenty of stories about a young Sirius, and maybe even a young James, and in my headcanon, Andy somewhat adopts Harry as an extra son too.

Which means she ends up seeing way more Weasleys than she ever expected to. I think the Weasleys, who just lost Fred would understand a lot. I mean, both Andy and Molly lost a child and other family. I want Andromeda be more involved with all of them post-canon. That's my wish.

So Harry is Teddy's official guardian, but he spends loads of time with his grandma and the Weasleys growing up probably. Like, I don't mind him and Victoire being together, though I wouldn't necessarily have been my preferred choice, but I don't really care. They're probably childhood besties because they grew up together.

As for Teddy's relationship with Harry, I think Harry would end up treating him more like a much younger brother than a son. I mean, when Teddy would be 10, Harry would just be 27. Don't get me wrong, Harry could, technically, be his dad, but I think their dynamic is going to be different than that of Harry with his own children. Just because of how young and traumatized Harry is when he gets Teddy.

So, I think their relationship would have its tense points, but they'd also love each other. Like, you know Harry would do his best. He'd be super protective over Teddy, Andy would be, too. Like, no one messes with this kid.

But I also kinda want Teddy making a: "you're not my dad" joke/comment when Harry tries to send him to his room or something and Harry doesn't know if he wants to laugh or cry the first time it happens. But I think it would become a recurring joke Harry laughs from.

I think the first years would be the roughest. Everyone's grieving and trying to settle back into a semblance of normal life. Harry never really had a "normal life" he's gonna have no idea what to do with himself and I think Teddy could be a purpose he dedicates himself to. I think these two and Andy could all help each other figure their lives out. But as Teddy grows older and things settle down, it becomes easier.

While I think Harry and Teddy would end up really close, it's not going to be exactly the same relationship Harry and Sirius had. Teddy is going to have a happy childhood, Harry and Andy wouldn't let it be any other way, so he won't have the same grief and trauma Harry did as a child. Like, their dynamic would be less desperate, I think. Like, Harry wouldn't need to stay in a cave and eat rats for Teddy, their situation would be way chiller. Like, I think Harry would be constantly confused about how Teddy ended up being such a cool kid/teen because he doesn't think he could've raised him like that and he would joke about it with Teddy who'd be all sarcastic like: "Obviously, I raised myself here,"

Like, I imagine Teddy with his mother's punk fashion sense and goofiness (the goofiness I believe was 100% shared by Ted Tonks), Remus' voice and constant self-doubt, Andromeda's posture (he sits with his back perfectly straight, okay, Andy didn't let him slouch by the table), and Harry's sarcasm. He's like this mix of them and still his own person.

I think Teddy is likely to go through quite a lot of personal phases to try and figure out his own identity and how he portrays himself. Becouse everyone treats him as the godson of the famed boy who lived, but his dead parents were the last Metamorphmagus and a Werewolf. And he is very close to his grandma, who is a disowned daughter of House Black. Like, this is a kid rip for angst about who he is and who people see him as and him being a Metamorphmagus really leans into it.

Like, a young Teddy making sure to look like Harry in public because he's proud of the connection. Or Teddy mimicking Remus or Tonks' appearance from photos when he thinks about them and misses them or wants to remind strangers who his parents actually are becouse they seem to forget. Like, that could be super fun.

I think Harry's kids would really like Teddy. He's like a cool older cousin/brother who lives with them. Like, I can see them really looking up to him and Teddy would complain to Harry about being followed around by a 3-year-old that won't leave him alone and Harry would just find the whole thing amusing.

(I can also see a post-war Andromeda getting back in touch with Narcissa, so you could involve the Malfoys too if you felt like it. Though I feel like Teddy would just, not like Lucius much)

(Also also, I think Lyall is dead. I feel like if he was alive we would know, yk?)

[cripplecharacters]

hello! i am currently trying to write a backstory for a character and im unsure about how to handle his disabilities in conjunction with it. the character is autistic, hard of hearing, and has been nonverbal since childhood (speaks using ASL and writing). i'm worried that the way i depict his experience in school accidentally plays into the "inspirational disabled person" trope.

i want his backstory to be realistic for the time period he was born in (late 1970's), and so i've written his disabilities to cause his teachers (and the school system in general) to look down on him and treat him as "inevitably stupid" and extremely high effort compared to other children. however, his response to being treated that way was to focus very heavily on school and studying in order to "prove them wrong," and he eventually came to be top of his class and achieved a lot of success as a result of it. a lot of his character is based on the emotional and mental fallout of that (burnout, low self-worth, overwork, etc.), but his efforts still got him into a good college and job, and i'm worried that it makes it seem like all you need to do to defeat adversity is "just try harder."

i have another disabled character in the same universe as him (also HoH/nonverbal/autistic) who went through similar struggles, but she ended up in the opposite situation as a result of being looked down upon (losing motivation to do anything in school, acting out, constantly getting awful grades, and eventually dropping out). both characters are painted in a sympathetic light by the narrative, and neither of their responses are intended to be viewed as better than the other (they're both meant to serve as criticisms of the many ways the school system fails children, which is a very important topic to me), but i'm worried that's not enough. thank you for your response!

Hi!

I think this is okay. By virtue of having two similar characters with different viewpoints of their experiences, you've helped avoid tokenization.

As long as you show the first character's struggles, I think you avoid inspiration porn. If his attitude is that he hates being treated as incapable so he has to work twice as hard to even get on the same level as his able peers, that's a reality many disabled people face.

Mod Rock

[yermes]

I am king 🐦‍⬛

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Pick a meme

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Disclaimer: please take what I say with a grain of salt and not as the gospel. I just want to share some ideas of practicing and giving advice using the medium as often as I can with school, work, and my own personal studies and practice. But I am working on sharing my notes soon so that will be exciting! Liking and sharing does a lot 🥰

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Socials: My Socials **☾**

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The cards

Death 💌

Transform bitch transform. To be loved is to be changed, change will rip you from your skin and force you to be better than you are. It will force you into the crippling darkness of being unknown, the realization you barely know yourself and the world around you. The change will force you to rise and be better for the aeon of hate can only conclude if we strive to be better than it all individually. It may be painful when things are so different you can’t even grasp familiarity but things will not be familiar for a while, our concept and idea of familiarity will shift and change and we will have to be comfortable in the state of discomfort, and the state of unease we are in will only push us to be better than we are. Rise.

Fortune 🎱

Its not about the destination its about the journey, the journey itself is never always fun but it does always give perspective. And what does perspective give? The tools to shape and work the reality around us. Don’t stress about things not going your way because it will be rare, realistically. You are better off facing every challenge with optimism that you will only ever gain from the challenges before you. Don’t stress that things are hard because they always will be, don’t stress at all in fact because it just means you suffer twice. The ups and downs of luck is just indicative of life in general.

Knight of wands 🍸

Purest form of manifestation, why why why why wHY Would you limit yourself. You are boundless and infinite, only the physical is finite. What you can make through pure will what can you not pull out of thin air as we attempt to grasp for something greater, however with pure will may come pure delusion when you have nothing physical to back it up. You do need a balance of spirituality and physical as much as we hate to admit it. But with your mind alone you can become her it just takes a bit of thought and will power. You got it.

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[ckret2]

Not speaking about Goldie bill, but general gf bill. Do you think it means anything that bill dad is generally absent. With bill mom we have him drunk calling her and the lullaby "stay safe with mommy". But with the dad, we have nothing specific to him, just bill mom or bill parents overall. I feel like if he was a bad or even just absent dad, Alex would have found a way to hint that (gf loves bad dads and their impact on their kids with filbrick, Preston, soos dad). But if he was good, it's weird to focus only on bill mom. Maybe it's just Alex making bill a momma's boy?

This is a situation that I think more likely has a doylist explanation than a watsonian explanation: most people have sappier feelings over moms who love their babies than dads who love their babies; most people see moms as the primary caregivers.

If you're a writer for cartoons who wants to punch an audience in the feels as quickly as possible with minimal words, without having to spend precious space trying to swim upstream against the audience's (and perhaps your own) preconceived notions about parents? Then you have the sad lost trainwreck of an adult try to call his mommy when he's at his lowest, not his daddy.

And you have mommy sing him a lullaby, not daddy.

And you have the giant baby taunt him with "what would [your mother] think" rather than "what would [your father] think" because the audience in general is already conditioned to assume a mother's love is unconditional, but the audience in general doesn't have that conditioning with father characters, so alluding to Bill's father might've made them think it's an effort to threaten Bill rather than guilt-trip Bill.

Like, when Bill calls his mom and gets a lullaby from his mom, a few fans go "huh, I wonder where his dad is?" (Case in point: this ask.)

But, on the other hand, if Bill called his dad and got a lullaby from his dad, A WHOLE LOT of fans would go "where the hell is his mom?? did she abandon them when Bill was still a baby?? Is that why he's messed up?? Is his dad the only one raising him?? Or is his mom the breadwinner and dad stays at home, and if so that's unexpected enough to be worth theorizing about, how did that happen, what was her job, why wasn't dad working, how did THAT effect Bill—"

Basically: if your audience is in a culture with sexist assumptions, and you're not telling a story that's specifically & deliberately trying to buck against those assumptions, sometimes making a point to buck against them will unintentionally register with the audience as Weird In A Noteworthy Way and make them veer off course from the message you're actually trying to send; and in those cases... sometimes it's less effort to roll with the sexist assumption than to reverse it and/or balance it out.

And I sincerely think that—consciously or unconsciously—that's what happened with Bill's parents. That Bill's mom wasn't highlighted because she was more involved, but rather because moms simply get used for sad backstory parent moments.

I think that's the answer strongly enough that I think trying to create a Watsonian explanation that makes Bill's dad notably unimportant/bad would actually stray further away from their intended dynamic. He might be the secondary parent, but in a "normal" way (i.e. a way most of our society sees as normal/not evidence of an unhealthy family dynamic).

[thatdisasterauthor]

Hey! I've been curious about is how air support/planes are coordinated for fighting wildland fires. It seems like most of them are contracted from... Someone...? But generally the sources I've been able to find have been pretty unclear on how it's organized/how the system works. I was wondering if you had any insight/good places to start reading?

If there's ever anything you want to know about Wildland Firefighting, the Red Book is where you want to go! Here's the 2024 version, and you can always find it by googling "Wildland Firefighting Red Book." It might not have ALL the answers, but it's a chonky document and will have a lot.

Now, as to your specific question, yes, a lot of wildland planes are contracted from private companies. There are some federally owned planes, though, and some various state owned ones.

All wildland resources, planes and otherwise, are organized through a system called "Interagency Resource Ordering Capability," or IROC. And I do mean all resources. Every wildland firefighter in the country is listed in this database, every engine, every plane, every portapotty contractor we have deals with. IROC is used to track what everyone is doing, where everyone is going, and what is needed where.

Last summer on my district we had two SEATs, an Air Attack, and a LAT on contract with us, and a Type 3 helicopter. That meant those resources were on our district ALL THE TIME. They were ours and we got first dibs on using them. But sometimes we'd have other planes that were stationed with us but weren't ours. Maybe an extra SEAT, or another LAT, and we had some Smokejumpers with us too so their plane was always around. Those resources that weren't assigned to us were usable by us, but they could (and did) easily get pulled elsewhere depending on need. We could also pull things from other districts if WE needed it.

So let's say a big fire kicks off, and we send out all OUR planes. But maybe it's not enough, maybe we need more. So I'd mosey on into IROC and create a request for what we need, then that would get passed up the chain to land on the IROC portal of whoever might have said resource available. If it is indeed available, wherever it is available from will send it out. If it isn't, they'll say sorry and send it back.

The exact rules for how resources can be moved around and pulled from one incident to another depends on if they're a local, state, or federal resource. But there's other considerations as well such as protecting life vs. protecting just property vs. protecting just land. Really depends, and sometimes it's just a judgement call. Usually it will be the incident commander who makes the initial request, since they're the ones on the ground and familiar with conditions. They'll then pass it to dispatch and dispatch will handle it from there, escalating to higher ups if needed for tricky judgement calls. (Other times we'll make the call ourselves because sir, you do not need three VLATS for a two acre fire that's just creeping...)

When it comes to if you'll actually GET the plane or other resource you ask for, a big part of that is the preparedness level. The levels are 1-5 with one being "we have tons of resources to share so you'll probably get whatever you want" to five being "everybody's busy so you're probably not going to get anything you ask for, good luck."

Aaaand. Yeah. Basically the answer is "intricate computer system that coordinates everything in the entire country and thus takes fucking forever to load anything."