#but i find it interesting that charlotte (who does not like men) sticks up for him multiple times

[anghraine]

It's 11 PM, but one of my favorite little Darcy/Elizabeth moments happens while she still hates him and thinks he's a depraved monster, and I find it really entertaining.

It's during the Kent section, when Darcy calls at the parsonage and finds Elizabeth alone. During a longer, awkward conversation in which they both deeply misunderstand each other, they have this tiny interchange:

[Darcy:] “This seems a very comfortable house. Lady Catherine, I believe, did a great deal to it when Mr Collins first came to Hunsford.” “I believe she did—and I am sure she could not have bestowed her kindness on a more grateful object.” “Mr Collins appears very fortunate in his choice of a wife.” “Yes, indeed; his friends may well rejoice in his having met with one of the very few sensible women who would have accepted him, or have made him happy if they had. My friend has an excellent understanding—though I am not certain that I consider her marrying Mr Collins as the wisest thing she ever did."

So: they are in Mr Collins's house. Darcy tries to re-start the conversation with a polite nothing about the house. Elizabeth agrees about Lady Catherine's micro-managing, but can't resist the chance to make a sly jab at Mr Collins (who is not present) to Darcy (a genuine villain, as far as she believes).

Darcy's reply looks a bit like an attempt to redirect the conversation into safer waters (they can agree that Charlotte is cool!). But although his remark is only somewhat related to what Elizabeth said, I think it's a natural follow-up in his mind because he is also insulting Mr Collins, if more subtly.

He could have praised Mr Collins's judgment in choosing Charlotte or just said something nice about Charlotte; he doesn't. Instead, he suggests that Mr Collins's choice of Charlotte was a matter of good fortune—or chance, as Charlotte herself would say!—on Collins's part. Darcy and Elizabeth both know Collins is a fool and that his choice of a woman like Charlotte says nothing about his judgment, only about his good fortune. (Elizabeth has even better reason than Darcy to know how much Collins ending up with Charlotte was lucky for him, but Darcy can see it anyway.)

Darcy's phrasing gives him some plausible deniability, but I think he's generally quite careful with his wording and the implicit insult to Mr Collins is not accidental.

Elizabeth, I think, takes this exactly as intended. She's not at all confused about where this tangent came from or offended by it or anything. She readily seizes on the new line of conversation as encouragement to keep insulting Mr Collins and his appeal to women with functioning brainpower.

Elizabeth is pretty scrupulously polite in general, so I kind of love that she just starts venting about her absolute contempt for Mr Collins and the Collins/Charlotte marriage to Darcy in the middle of a tense and weird conversation in Mr Collins's house. And I love that Darcy, who is otherwise more or less dog-paddling his way through this conversation, is like "yeah, your friend seems really cool, that dumbass is lucky he accidentally chose someone with a brain."

Elizabeth: "Right? And, let me add-"

(Is it a bit of an asshole move on both their parts in the context of that scene? Yeah, I think a little. I also love it! Please trash-talk obnoxious hosts in their own parlours for the rest of your lives.)

[tired-and-ticklish]

Broadcast Interference

Disclaimer: This is a tickle fic, so if that isn’t your thing, then just ignore this. 

Summary: Vox and Alastor’s rivalry is no secret to anyone. What is a secret is the more… interesting ways they deal with each other

TW: Tickling (Intense, seriously), Swearing, Restraints, Drinking, Vox and Alastor are both Bastard Men, Mentions of Cannibalism

Idea inspired by this post by @coolbananas143

Really, everyone should have expected this sooner or later. A rivalry like Vox and Alastor’s doesn’t just stick to insulting each other via radios and television screens. No, at some point, it gets physical, and it’s better for everyone to just stay out of their way. Thankfully, the residents of the Hazbin Hotel had unintentionally done just that.

It was no secret that the Television Overlord spied on basically everyone in Pentagram City, and the Hazbin Hotel was no exception. Sure, at first the monitoring could be chalked up to either “it’s just what Vox does” or “He’s watching the hotel to keep track of Angel for Val.”, but upon learning the Radio Demon had returned from a seven year absence to just throw himself into Charlotte Morningstar’s passion project, well, Vox couldn’t stop monitoring the hotel.

He had waited for the perfect opportunity, one where no one else besides Alastor would be at the hotel. Sure, Vox would have loved a captive audience to his triumph over that old-timey prick, but all in good time. He wanted all of Hell to see just who was in charge, and that would only happen when he found a way to record Alastor without the Radio Demon distorting the video. For now, however, this would do.

Alastor was going to be alone. The Princess had decided on another little ‘bonding excursion’, and as predicted, the Radio Demon had declined to go, most likely finding it beneath him. Ah, how that ego of his would be Alastor’s undoing. After making sure everyone else had left, Vox zapped himself through to the camera closest to the hotel, landing right in front of the doors.

‘You’re in for quite the surprise, you old-timey prick!’ The TV Thought as he entered the hotel.

—

Alastor knew something had been wrong ever since Charlie and the others left. He wasn’t alone in the hotel, much to his annoyance. The Radio Demon had been hoping for one day where he could be uninterrupted, but this was Hell and that was wishful thinking. In hindsight, he should have sent his shadows to see who dared infiltrate the hotel, but he was the Radio Demon, he could take care of any lowlife sinners who tried to deface or destroy the hotel.

What he hadn’t been expecting was Vox, looking like he had been waiting for Alastor. That pompous, sorry excuse for an Overlord had made himself at home, even pouring himself a drink from Husk’s bar. How he ate and drank wasn’t something Alastor wanted to question, what he wanted to know was why Vox had dared to step foot into the hotel.

“Just wanted to see what was keeping you so busy.” Vox responded casually, deliberately reaching over the bar instead of going around it, just making a mess. “There’s so much tacky fucking circus decor in here, is that what little princess Morningstar is running? A circus?”

“I can assure you, they were not my doing.” Alastor growled, his already thin patience for the TV wearing down further. “It’d be best for both of us if you left. With all your limbs still attached.”

“Try me, old man.” Vox dared.

“I would say I’ve been dying to eat you, but I’d rather not expunge my guts today!”

Insults soon turned to assaults, a bottle flying at the Radio Demon. Tendrils spawned from the ground, making a grab at the TV Overlord, but Vox had learned from their last fight. The two scuffled for some time, Alastor only feeling slightly bad for the damages to the hotel, considering that would make more for Niffty to clean.

‘Not to mention how cross Husker will be when he finds the bar raided and destroy-’ That one train of thought was Alastor’s undoing.

The wires from the hotel’s TV ripped out of the wall, ensnaring the Radio Demon. They wrapped around his arms, pulling them taut and upward, before wrapping around his waist and legs, so he couldn’t kick his way out. Try as he might, he couldn’t get free, growling as the TV came closer to his face.

“Look at you, trapped like the helpless animal you are.” Vox grinned, leaning in close, only for Alastor to try to smash his head into the TV Screen.

“I’ll show you helpless when I tear all your limbs off and devour them in front of you!” Alastor snarled, trying to pull himself free as Vox walked around him.

“You need to relax.” Vox hummed, dragging a claw down Alastor’s side slowly.

He had meant for it to hurt, but what he hadn’t expected with the Radio Demon stiffening, and biting his lip. Vox hummed at this discovery, repeating the action, which in turn caused Alastor to try to pull away. The TV couldn’t contain his excitement, he recognized all the signs thanks to working closely with Valentino and Velvette. He recognized them from having helped bring Angel Dust to tears a few times.

“You’re fucking ticklish?!” The amount of pure joy and malice in his voice didn’t escape Alastor. “This is too good!”

“It would be in your best interest if you forget all of this and release me this instance if you value your-” Whatever threat the Radio Demon was about to make was cut off by the feeling of Vox’s claws on his hips, scratching and digging into them.

“You’re not the one in control right now, are you~?” Vox teased. “No, you’re at my mercy, so watch your tongue.”

“Ihihihih’d tehehehell yohohohou to bihihihite meheheh, but yohohohou’d enjohohohoy that!” Alastor was pushing him, he knew that, but he wasn’t about to let the TV Overlord think for one second he wasn’t in control!

“Alright, keep pushing your luck.” Vox mused, moving his hands up Alastor’s sides. “I can do this aaallll day~”

Alastor tried once again to get away from the TV Overlord, his laughter going up an octave as Vox got closer to his ribs. He needed to get out of this situation before the bastard found his worst spots. The Radio Demon was sure his pride wouldn’t survive the taunts and teases that would be sure to follow.

“Let me guess, since you’re a cannibal, this is your favorite spot~?” Vox hummed, digging into Alastor’s ribs and grinning as the deer let out a squeal.

“Iihihihi’ve beehhehehen tihihihickled behehehetter bhihihihiihy thehehehe wihihihihnd!” Alastor was hoping if he got Vox angry enough, he’d drop his guard and that would give him the chance to escape.

“Ohoh, now you’re asking for it you prick!” Vox growled, his eyes scanning over the Radio Demon. There had to be a spot that would have him begging for mercy, and, as Vox noticed Alastor’s ears flicking, he got a wicked idea. “I’m getting bored of this spot anyway.”

His hands were removed from Alastor’s ribs, much to the deer’s relief. That respite was short-lived, however, as he noticed Vox looking at his ears. Before he could even threaten the TV, his ears were being scratched and rubbed, tickling the Radio Demon to no end. He couldn’t hold back anymore, pride be damned!

“FUHUHUHUCK NOHOHOHOHOH!” Alastor squealed. “CEHEHEHEHEASE AHAHAHAHT OHOHOHOHONCE!”

“Oh, that spot got you screaming quickly!” Vox sounded positively ecstatic about this discovery. “Wonder how long it’ll take before you’re a crying mess.”

“NEHEHEHEHEVER!”

“Never?” Vox chuckled, beginning to emit small, harmless shocks from his claws. “Your funeral~”

The shocks were sending a new wave of ticklish Hell upon Alastor’s nerves. A loud screech of radio static came from his throat, Vox recoiling slightly from the noise, but not enough to stop tickling him. The TV wasn’t letting him go anytime soon, and Alastor knew the only thing he could do was pray he either got bored, or pray that the others would return soon.

“I wonder what other spots get you screaming like this?” Vox hummed, despite not expecting the deer to answer. “Not talking? Guess I’ll have to find out on my own~”

Alastor was going to make him pay for this! He’d wipe that shit-eating grin off Vox’s face if it was the last thing he ever did! Another screech of radio interference escaped the Radio Demon, feeling like he was going mad. Vox, meanwhile, was having the time of his afterlife, but he needed more. He needed a spot that would finally be too much for Alastor.

“GEHEHEHEHEHT OHHOOHOHOHOFF MEHEHEHEHE BEHEHEHEHFOHOHOHOHRE IHIHIHIHIHIH BIHIHIHIHITE YOHOHOHOHU!”

A small ‘ding’ sound played from Vox’s speakers, the TV getting an idea. With a smirk, and after a few more electric shocks, he ceased his attack on the sensitive ears. Alastor caught his breath, not yet noticing the wires restraining him brought him up higher off the ground, his abdomen now level with Vox’s face.

“Thanks for giving me a hint~” Vox teased, and before the Radio Demon could respond, the TV had ripped open both the deer’s coat and undershirt, buttons flying off in random directions.

“You’re going to pay for that-” The threat was cut off by Vox slowly stoking a finger up and down Alastor’s stomach, making him freeze.

“All this talk of eating and shit has made me a bit… hungry~” Vox said, before grabbing Alastor’s sides with both hands.

“Vox, I-I’m warning you. If you even think about doing what I think you’re planning, It will be the last thing you ever live to do-” Alastor began, only to be stopped as Vox’s claws dig into his sides.

“You talk too much.” Vox replied, leaning in close.

It happened too fast for the Radio Demon to react, suddenly Vox’s face was in his stomach, before he felt ‘vibrations,’ making him squeal. The ‘vibrations’ were Vox using his TV static to make it feel like he was blowing raspberries right into the deer’s sensitive belly. Cackles of static and laughter came from Alastor, unable to let out a coherent sentence.

“YOHOHOU- STHAHAHA- NOHOHOHOH- IHIHIHIHI’M GOHIHIHING- CEHEHEHASE!”

Vox didn’t stop, in fact, he got worse, squeezing and prodding Alastor’s sides as he continued to torture him. He vaguely wondered if the Radio Demon would pass out from all this, and that would be something to see. Until then, however, Vox was going to keep tormenting him until he had his fill.

Alastor’s nerves felt like they were on fire, desperately trashing as best he could to try and escape. He hated this, he hated all of it so much! Being trapped, feeling helpless, especially at the hands of a bastard television!

“Say, Al.” Vox began, ceasing his raspberry assault in favor of raking his claws over Alastor’s stomach, once again emitting small shocks from them. “Imagine the headlines if all of Hell found out you, the big bad Radio Demon, are stupidly fucking ticklish~”

“YOHOHOHOOHHU WOOHOHOHULDN’T- DOOHOHOHON’T YOHOHOHOHU DAHAH-”

“I can see it now. ‘Breaking news! The Radio Demon and Local Hazbin is ticklish! A few well placed pokes and he’s begging for mercy!’ Wouldn’t that be ‘entertaining?’” Vox grinned. “If only I could get my cameras, and well, you would fucking show up on camera.”

As much as Vox would love to continue breaking Alastor, he was a busy man, and Valentino and Velvette were probably going to be looking for him soon. After one more ‘raspberry’ to Alastor’s belly button, he stopped. The wires holding the Radio Demon up soon unceremoniously dropped him, the deer catching his breath.

“Well, this was informative, and entertaining.” Vox hummed, beginning to head out of the hotel. “We should do this again some-”

Vox’s words were cut off as he was suddenly grabbed by shadowy tendrils, slamming him against the wall. Despite how out of it and tired Alastor felt, there was no way he was letting that TV escape after what he did. Slowly, he composed himself, carefully pushing himself off the floor.

“You seem to forget, old pal.” Alastor began, his eyes turning to radio dials. “Turnabout is fair play, and we still have quite some time before Charlie and the others return.”

“Put me down you asshole!” Vox growled, trying to pull himself free.

“Oh no, you see.” Alastor continued, coming over to the trapped Overlord. “When I get my revenge, I get it tenfold. Best you start praying now~”

Alastor was going to savor every single minute of tormenting Vox. He was going to make sure that pompous television knew never to mess with him again.

[celestialrry]

I wish you would write a fic where...

the main character is the daughter of a really important producer harry is working with and he has a major crush on her but 1) he doesn’t want her dad to feel like he’s taking advantage of her 2) she has a rule of not dating musicians

too young

OOOOOOHHHHHH

HIIII GUYS..... i started school again and honestly for the longest time i've had no inspiration to write but then i got this ask!!! (thank you for your patience anon ily) and was like i love this prompt but then i wrote the first part and had no idea how to continue it,,, but I finally finished it!! ε(♡'-')з (this is me giving you all my love and affection for sticking with me) 

(NOT EDITED)

2k

warnings: alcohol consumption

Harry was in a dilemma.

Usually, he could sweep all his issues under the rug, save them for another day, but this one... he couldn't do that. Not because he didn't want to, but because this problem was more than just a dust bunny on his hardwood floor.

Y/N was the problem.

Or to be more precise, his feelings for Y/N were the problem.

Harry had confidence when it came to his crushes. He was smooth, flirty, and snagged almost every single person he's caught feelings for.

But not Y/N.

No, she was almost unreachable, for quite a few reasons.

One, the only reason he knew her, met her, was through a producer he had been working with the past few months. Arlo was massive in the industry and Harry was flattered when Arlo approached him with interest in collaborating. And only a month into working together, he met Y/N.

Harry's head snapped towards the door that had just burst open, a girl barging into the studio that he had never seen before. She was gorgeous, he had to admit, but he couldn't ignore her blatant disrespect for coming in and making a scene while he, Arlo, and a few of his bandmates were working annoyed him to no end.

"Dad! Oh my god, you will not believe what just happened, I was on my way over here and I fucking bumped into Zach," The girl began ranting, approaching Arlo and huffing as she stood next to Arlo's chair. "Of all fucking people I could see just walking down the street, it had to be him. The world is against me today I swear. Anyways, I brought that drum pad you wanted."

She dug into her big brown bag that was slung over her shoulder and pulled out the music board, placing it on the table in front of Arlo.

"Where'd you see him, Y/N? We're about to go on break and I can leave and go kick his ass in," Arlo checked his watch. "7 minutes."

Y/N, Harry now knew her as, sighed and crossed her arms. "He's long gone by now, think he shit his pants when he saw me walking near him."

"Atta girl, thanks for bringing my board too," Arlo smiled up at her from his chair. He then turned to see Harry, and Mitch staring at the two of them. "Oh sorry guys, this is my daughter, Y/N. Y/N, this is Harry and Mitch."

She turned to look at them and smiled wide. "Nice to meet you!"

"You too." They both said in unison, looking at each other with a smile, before focusing back on Y/N.

"We'll be done soon, if you wanna go out and get lunch." Arlo said, turning back to his daughter.

"Sounds good, just text me," Y/N replied, giving him a smile before turning back to the boys. "Nice meeting you guys, again."

And before they could even respond she was gone.

Two, Y/N was younger than him. 6 years younger to be exact. It didn't seem like much, but when put into perspective, she was 21, only just being legally allowed to drink in the States, and Harry was 27. Practically 30, if you ask him, and he was positive Arlo would have his head if he found out Harry liked his daughter. 

And three, she doesn't date the people her dad works with. 

He had found this out one night when he, Arlo, Y/N, Mitch, and a couple other writers were hanging out at the studio, drinking some wine (she had even exclaimed that this would be her first time drinking red, and Harry was yet again reminded of her age) and chatting after a long day of working. 

Harry and Mitch were laughing with Arlo about the first time they met Y/N, and her comments about this “Zach” guy. 

“He’s my ex, and had worked with my dad on one shitty song that never got far because he’s just so-- music is just not his thing, to put it nicely. But he was an absolute asshole and after him I made rule to never date anyone Dad works with. It would just go terribly.” She explained, letting Arlo take a few more jabs at the guy before stopping him.

So yeah, Harry was in a dilemma. 

In all the time he’d known Y/N, he just kept falling for her. She was kind, funny, beautiful, lit up any room she walked into, and treated Harry like fine porcelain. 

She was just fucking perfect. 

｡:°ஐ

Y/N had probably been in a lot of worse positions than the predicament she was in now.

For example, that time her dad walked in on her and her ex making out in the studio, or her 21st birthday when she got completely wasted and almost got into the wrong car instead of her uber, and the next day found out that the man driving that car was actually a convicted criminal.

So there’s worse things that could happen than her liking Harry.

But it doesn't mean it wasn’t bad.

The thing is, Y/N didn’t fall for anyone easily. Her one and only ex Zach treated her like a queen until he could officially claim her as his. The flowers he gave her before every date remained at the shop and the consistent compliments turned into insults and muttered claims of discontentment. 

Hence why he was her ex. It took Y/N quite a long time to work up the courage to end things with him. He was her first kiss, first time, and first boyfriend. She was yet to find her first love, she never really loved Zach. The way he used to treat her in the beginning, she thinks she loved, but him? No, she would never call him her first love. 

So when Y/N’s time crush on Harry began to develop into real feelings in such a short span of time, it terrified her. She had really never felt this way about someone before; butterflies would erupt in her stomach every time he shot her a smile and her mind would erupt into pure chaos when his body brushed up against her own. 

So yeah, it could be worse, but it certainly wasn't good.

｡:°ஐ

Y/N enjoyed spending time at the studio with her dad, and surprisingly, spending time with her dad’s “co-workers”. Even though she didn't usually hang out with the pop stars and spent time mostly with the backing band/producers (they were usually 50 year old men, but they were pretty nice) she enjoyed herself fully, having lunch breaks and talking about where their children when to school and whatnot. 

Sometimes though, every blue moon, Y/N would hang out with a super star her dad was working with. Usually when most stars are at the studio all they did was record, which was understandable, but she never had the chance to meet a lot of them.

With Harry though, everything was different. It wasn’t just lunches at the studio, or dinner at someone’s house, no, tonight they were going out to a bar. 

It was completely unexpected too, they had just wrapped up a song, and Harry, being in a particularly good mood had yelled out about going to a bar to celebrate. Of course, Y/N ignored his shout, knowing she wasn’t invited, and after Arlo had said something about “not being able to party as much as I used to”, she gave her dad a hug good night and waved a little goodbye to the band. 

“Wait!” Harry had exclaimed, chasing after her in the hallway. “Where are y’going?”

Y/N’s eyes widened and she looked behind her before looking back at Harry. “I was just gonna head back home.”

Harry’s head tilted, and looked at her questionably. “Y’not comin’ to the bar with us?” He practically pouted.

Her brows shot up in surprise. “Oh! I- yeah I’ll go out with you guys.”

Which lead her here, decently tipsy, and sitting in a booth between Harry and Sarah, laughing at a story Adam had been telling. Every now and then she would glance over to Harry just to find his gaze already on her.

Her heart fluttered every time, and if Harry’s cheeks weren’t already flushed from the alcohol, Y/N would have noticed him blush every time they locked eyes as well. 

“M’gonna get another drink, does anyone want anything?” Y/N piped up, a resounding chorus of “no, thank you’s” answering her question. Except for Harry who spoke softly, “A beer? Go ahead and put it on my tab.”

She shook her head at him as he stood up to let her out of the maroon leather booth. “Can’t make you pay for that, I offered.” She said, standing to lock eyes with him yet again. 

“Nope,” He grinned. “You can, and you will.”

“But-”

“No buts.” He chuckled, giving her a dimpled smile.

Accepting her defeat she nodded and squeezed his arm with a murmured “Thank you.” before making her way to the bar.

Harry sat back down again, eyes trailing her figure as she walked away before looking back at the table to be met with knowing eyes. 

“What is it?” He asked, glancing around at everyone.

“You’re whipped, mate.” Charlotte grinned, everyone else nodding in agreement.

“What?! I am not.” Harry pouted, eyes flicking over to Y/N, who was making her way to the table, one drink in each hand, before back to everyone else. 

“She’s really sweet H, you should go for it.” Mitch said.

Harry shook his head, eyes now on Mitch. “I’m not interested in her like that, she’s way too young for me, anyways.”

Just then did he hear the soft hit of his beer and her cosmo land on the table. His gaze trailed up her hands to see Y/N’s shattered face. “Here.” She practically whispered to him.

“I just remembered I have an early class tomorrow, so I should go, but thank you guys for inviting me out.” Y/N explained in lighting speed as she leaned over Harry to grab her purse and toss is over her shoulder. 

Words of confusion were tossed around the table but she was already booking it out of there, leaving Harry just as devastated as she was.

“I think she heard you, H.” Sarah said, frowning. 

Harry let out a muttered “Fuck!” before taking out large bills from his wallet and tossing it on the table. “For my tab, m’sorry, I gotta go.” And he left just as fast as Y/N did, weaving through the tables and people before bursting out the door to see her standing on the street, arm wrapped around her waist and another holding her phone.

“Y/N!”

Her head whipped around to see Harry bustling towards her and she quickly wiped her eye as he approached.

“Wait, don't go,” He said, struggling to find the words. “We all want you to stay, I want you to stay.”

“I have to get to class Harry, plus, I’m too young to be staying out this late anyways.” She grimaced at her own words. 

He sighed, eyes flickering from her own to her lips then back again. “I-fuck, you know I didn’t mean it like that.”

This time, she fully turned to face him, brows knitted in distress. “Then how did you mean it? Because honestly I don’t think there is another way to mean it.”

This was his only chance, Harry knew it. 

“I just, I tried for so long to tell myself it was wrong to feel this way about you because you’re so much younger than me, and m’pretty sure your father would have my head if he knew but m’fucking infatuated with you, Y/N. M’so sorry I said that earlier, age is my only excuse for not asking you out and it’s not a good enough excuse anymore.”

With this her mouth was gaped like a fish, and her face was akin to a deer caught in headlights. In a flash her arms were wrapped around his neck and he was holding her waist, reveling in her touch. 

“Oh, Harry,” She pulled away. “I really like you too.” And with that she pressed a swift kiss to his cheek, leaving him a blushing mess. 

“Good, thats... thats good.” He stammered.

“So,” she nudged his arm. “Y’gonna ask me out now?”

[eyreguide]

A recap of the Brontë2020 Virtual Conference

On Friday the very first virtual Brontë conference was held and included a program of various talks and presentations by people knowledgeable on many different aspects of the Brontës. And reader, I had a wonderful time.  

This post is just a brief overview of the event, with some commentary on the different topics and comments that were discussed and that I found interesting. This conference was held as a way to help support the amazing Brontë Parsonage in Haworth as they are going through a difficult time with the impact of Covid-19. If you are able, please donate whatever you can to the Parsonage by visiting this site. Help them reach their goal!

I live in the United States so I wasn’t able to attend all the panels - I decided to make my first one the discussion with Sandy Welch (screenwriter of the 2006 Jane Eyre adaptation) which was 5 am my time! I was so excited to hear what Sandy had to say about writing Jane Eyre that I was wide awake by the time her panel started.

Special Guest: Sandy Welch

First off, I didn’t realize Welch had also written the screenplay for North and South (one of my absolute favorite period dramas!) so I was pretty much in awe of her talent, even though the 2006 Jane Eyre isn’t exactly my favorite. If you read through my reviews of all the adaptations here. I have a few issues with the scenes after the failed wedding where Jane and Rochester are on her bed. And also I felt like the dialogue and added scenes did not always feel true to the novel. But Welch talked about her approach to adapting Jane Eyre and I agreed with all of her comments. Jane is a modern woman in that she is making her own way in the world, and that her thoughts and prose in the book are direct and clear to the reader. And Welch was glad to give more time to the conversations between Jane and Rochester so that the humor and intelligence that connects them shines through. The emotions were allowed to develop and we can see how Rochester changes with Jane.  

There was some discussion about the character of Rochester and how the audience needs to see that they deserve each other and are equals. So you see more of Rochester’s vulnerabilities and emotions in this adaptation. It’s important to remember too that Charlotte made Bertha irredeemable so that Rochester could not make his situation better, but he tried his best to take care of her.  

A question from the audience did bring up that scene where Jane must say goodbye to Rochester and they end up on her bed - I was very keen to know what Welch would say. She acknowledged that it was a bold choice, but there is that sensuality in the book, and Rochester wants to “impress” himself on Jane, and throughout the novel, Jane is very passionate. It seemed natural to Welch to have that shown on screen. It’s a bit of artistic license that still doesn’t sit easily with me, but I am glad to know the thought process was grounded in trying to take a realistic approach to how that scene would develop.

Another question also asked about the addition of the twins and the doubles theme in the adaptation. Welch included that to give Jane an opportunity to participate in the conversation around her since she is intelligent and able to hold her own. And to show that not all of the people in Rochester’s party are horrible. It also gives a little foreshadowing to the call across the moors between Jane and Rochester near the end.

The last topic I want to mention is when someone asked what the difference was between approaching Margaret Hale’s character (from North and South) and Jane Eyre. Welch worked to make Margaret more sympathetic and Thornton a little less so, so that they were equals in the story - much like Jane and Rochester already are.

A Day in the Life of the Parsonage

I was very excited about this next panel, where Ann Dindsdale, the collections manager of the Parsonage, and Rebecca Yorke, the communications manager, talk about what it is like to manage the Parsonage day to day. It made me long to be able to work there myself! Just think how lovely it would be to be up early in the morning at the house, preparing for the visitors that day.

On my last visit to the Parsonage, I was able to take the VIP tour (which I talked about here) and I have to say seeing a glimpse of the place behind the scenes and led by a knowledgeable docent was amazing. They do wonderful work there!

The two talked about the work that goes into maintaining the house - especially during the month-long closure in January where they clean every book and check every piece of furniture! When asked how they decide what to display, Ann said she puts out “what she likes” (lucky!) but it was also good to rotate everything regularly.  

The Parsonage feels it is important for guests to “engage with the Parsonage” - a wonderful way to describe how the guests are made to feel when they visit - as a part of the experience. And with social distancing right now due to the pandemic, visiting the Parsonage couldn’t be a more personal and intimate experience. I so wish I could make the trip across the pond right now and visit!

Author Roundtable: The Brontës, the 21st Century and Us

This was a fascinating panel with talented authors. I’ve read some of their books so I’ll link to my review of their work when possible. The panel was moderated by Rowan Coleman (The Vanished Bride) and included Finola Austin (Brontës’ Mistress), Syrie James (The Secret Diaries of Charlotte Brontë), Sarah Shoemaker (Mr. Rochester), Julie Cohen (Spirited), Lucy Powrie (The Paper Hearts Society) and Nikita Gil (a well-known poet, although unfortunately I am unfamiliar with her work.  

The conversation was dense and thought-provoking. The authors touched on many topics and ideas beginning with how each author felt about the Brontës’ work. Their books are about identity and who we are as people - we can live by their ideals, said Lucy. Sarah said that women are still not equal to men in how they are treated today and she loves how Jane does not hesitate to tell Rochester that she does not think him handsome - it’s an unconventional answer, the unexpected one, and it shows how they are opening up to each other and on their way to being equals. Syrie is fascinated by the almost mythical story they lived in their little place in the world. And how you can feel their rage against patriarchal societies in their work. Nikita pointed out that patriarchy erases the role of women, but the Brontës have endured in spite of that.

In their approach to writing stories that revolve around the Brontës and their work, they try to be as reverential as possible and stick to the facts because so much of their lives are known, and their stories can be very autobiographical.  

Julie talked about how we read the Brontës to find out about ourselves. With Villette especially there is a sense with Lucy Snowe that she is hiding a part of herself from the reader and people can relate to that.

The talk ended with thoughts on publishing bias - how women may not need to publish under pseudonyms today, but there is still a bias against what a woman writes and against race, sexuality, and many other things. We as readers need to show that we are interested in reading about a variety of lives and experiences.

In Conversation with Adam Nagaitis

Adam Nagaitis played Branwell Brontë in the film To Walk Invisible and talked with the organizers about his role. They opened by asking him trivia questions about Branwell to see how much he remembered from his research. Adam mentioned that he is still in touch with the actresses who played his sisters which I think is wonderful. They seem to all have gotten along very well.  

Adam read all the classic works on Branwell to prepare, but he also dived into documentaries on alcoholism and it’s gruesome realities to understand Branwell better. Branwell wasn’t mature enough to deal with the vicissitudes in his life - with his relationship with Lydia he was excessive and consumed. He thought that turned her off from him, and that started a cycle where he blamed himself for the failed relationship and his failures in his art.  

Because he was always surrounded by the people who knew him best, he was always reminded of his failure. Adam’s approach was very sympathetic to Branwell and tried to understand him mentally. Adam also talked about how he felt Branwell was never free as an artist. He always needed to work for the family or money but he could have been a brilliant newspaper satirist - something that might have been more along with his interests since he made wonderful biting cartoons.

In Conversation with Sally Wainwright

The last panel of the conference was a talk with Sally Wainwright - the writer and director of the superb Brontë biopic To Walk Invisible. Sally was approached to write this back in 2010 but she didn’t have time until 2016 which coincided with Charlotte’s bicentenary. It was a tough shoot for her as she felt she didn’t get all the shots she wanted, but the set was fantastic. They recreated the Parsonage as accurately as they could, resulting in a place that is bleaker and more isolated than the actual Parsonage today.  

Sally also mentioned something that I found interesting - that she felt like the “Victorian” speak that people use today in period dramas probably didn’t really exist. We have constructed people in our period drama adaptations to speak in a particular way. And that the inclusion of curse words in her program showed that the characters were very like us - of course Branwell would curse and say the F-word.  

Her approach to adapting the story was always to show it as realistically as possible and she wanted to show how the family was an interdependent team. For people who felt that Branwell was featured too much in the story - it’s important to remember that he was the leader of their gang as children and that when they were older, living with an addict affected their work as can be seen in The Tenant of Wildfell Hall and Wuthering Heights.  

And speaking of Tenant of Wildfell Hall, apparently, Sally is working on a screenplay for the story, although it is on the backburner at the moment. She is having a hard time empathizing with Helen - especially because it is difficult today to empathize with a character who behaves in a certain way solely because of their religious beliefs. I do hope we get to see her adaptation of Anne’s work someday soon though!

[lady-plantagenet]

What hasn’t already been said: The Spanish Princess 2

Episode 2: SOdden (or Sod ‘Em depending on your persuasion)

(Dont know how long I’ll be able to keep these puns up)

Catherine, like this woman, does not really fit into this era. But while this woman seems dropdead cool and at least looks the part, Catherine just...

To all those of you keen enough to have come back for another segment of ‘what hasn’t already been said: TSP’, as opposed to have just been scrolling when you see this - welcome back! (Scrollers you too <3)

To anyone who’s seeing this for the first time: what this is a list of observations, jokes, reactions and criticism which occur to me upon a rewatch. I wait every week until Saturday to do this so that I have had my fill of scrolling through the tag and aggregating what has already been said. I tried doing a whole spoof (here where I gave up 10% in) but tbh a) I don’t know the history well enough b) it’s more time consuming than I thought and c) this series is just not as funny or as crazy as TWQ, so it’s untenable. Having said that: This is not a hatepost. I’m not hatewatching this series and nitpicking on purpose but expressing my honest views and trying to find the good in it as well as the bad.

Without further ado...

First Scenes:

The baby cloth lifting into the ceiling of the chapel had nice ‘myth of the demon countess of Anjou (ancestress of the Plantagenets)’ vibes. I am 100% that was unintentional. I get this impression by the cringiness of the baby’s screams (what’s up with those sound effects? It sounded like a zipper).

Henry gives me such softboi vibes? It’s pleasing to me because it’s making me attracted to him as a viewer, but no good in convincing me this is Henry VIII.

I think Catherine’s exposition about how she feels is pretty ok actually, it’s fitting that she would feel anger.

CHARLES’ FATHER IS NOT MAXIMILIAN, IT’S PHILIP (or rather it was). ~~ A quick wiki search guyz, a quick wiki search. Ughh

Again with the whole everyone acting like Catherine is Queen. Can they cut it out? Also while we’re at it, what was Catherine’s attendance in councils even like?

The music was nice

Post Child announcement phase:

Oof I hate to say it but I lowkey wanted de la Pole back in this mother. Mainly because it would mean more Margaret Pole and by this point I am scared her storyline will fade in prominence now that there’s no longer a Yorkist subplot (showhorned as it was, it was the crowning glory of last season tied with Arthur x Catherine).

More x Maggie Pole and all of it over Seneca and learning :’). I already know this will be the best part of the episode.

‘We certainly know stoicism in our family’ ~ I guess she’s referring to Reggie? Because our boi Clarence was no poster boy for stoicism. Though could she be making an ironic reference to her father~?

Edmund de la Pole Debacle:

Well this convo at least passed the bechdel test.

Maggie and Edmund’s interactions here are touching. I know this plotline was rushed but I think it was just right to bring us back here for 5 min as a mournful throwback to the bygone era to which Maggie Pope belongs to and now continues to do so alone. It is emotionless and you can just feel how the York cause was hanging on by a tired old threat by that point.

Maggie Pole is becoming matronly now and I like this transition.

What bothers me about a lot of fans of Margaret Pole is that what they don’t realise is that she wasn’t all like ‘I want nothing to do with my family I’ll stay low and obscure’. While far more cautious than the likes of her ancestors, she did engage in land disputes with Henry VIII and was an outspoken supporter of Catherine and Catholic. Having her be a woman woth dubious loyalties towards the Tudors is accurate.

Scotland with Meg and Jammes:

LMFAO it’s like they read my mind when I spoke of how much I laughed when Meg was like ‘Alexander Steward you pig!1!!’ last episode.

Nice reference to Aulde Alliance

I like James.

Henry and Catherine on the balcony:

Was she commander of the forces? Was Howard appointed that? Regent she was, ok.

Charlotte Hope’s new hairstyles really suit her!

‘Will you please stop cursing’ agahsjdk ahah

No offence to women (of which I am one) but this comparison between childbirth and war is just... wrong. I know Starz think they are being smart but childbirth is far less impressive than winning or surviving a battle - comparing the two diminishes the bravery of soldiers. YET ,having said that, childbirth is necessary for our society whereas war is almost always futile and by comparing them, it wrongly represents violence as something inherently as natural to us as birth and continuing of civilisation. overall not a smart, respectful or accurate parrallel to make.

Meg and prep for invasion + Catherine in her weird armour:

So Margaret dreams that her husband is dead and bloody in her bed. Ughh show you neeed to get more creative. But I did like the whole ‘dreams are how our ancestors talk to us’ line from Angus Douglas.

Re: Meg in her beret... Why is Meg dressed like me going to the London shops in October? Digging the aesthetic but not sure about the accuracy.

Rich of Catherine to bring up Edmund.

Why is Ursula Pole crying??? What is all this to her really?

Did Howard just call the guard... sonny?? Is this some WW2 crossover?

Catherine - James and the tent parlay:

Did Catherine just insult Meg’s intelligence??

Also lmao I’m going to miss James.

Re: Howard saying ‘I’m not going to get insulted by a man wearing a dress’ .. UMMM Starz, you do know that just thirty years ago men were prancing about in dresses and leggings (essentially). From around the middle of the 14th century to the beggining of 16th century (if not earlier), Englishmen were also essentially prancing about in ‘skirts’.

Am I getting a weird cooperation-partnership vibe between Meg and James?

The Battle:

Charlotte Hope looks so good with the helmet, she’d really suit an english hood! Such a shame they won’t give her one!

Ewwww he’s eating mud, why?

Just standard battle scene. They are all the same to me no matter which movie.

Aftermath:

Jesus, I find the whole Meg crying over James IV so heartfelt ‘you arrogant bastard’ for some reason just came out so full of emotion. Can someone please explain why the hell I ship them more than Henry x Catherine?? Like how ??

Awwww Linna is sooooo adorable ughhh. Also this whole Catherine going into armour among all the women crooning over the children gives this adorable sense of Catherine boyish and bloodying herself out to protect their peace, idk. All I have to say is that these series is less eager to pitt women against each other than the previous. I think that’s a step forwards.

Also, good to see Catherine being modest about her victory so Henry can save face. Finally starting to seem like the real Catherine.

‘Go on you dog’ arghh ahah he sounds like some public school rugby lad egging his mate on.

Re: Wolsey cock-blocker; the real Catherine would know it was uncatholic to have sex when you were pregnant. Also Catherine is not technically speaking in confinement if she’s wandering about.

It’s nice to see Catherine sticking up for Howard, she at least learned to respect him during the battle.

I foresee Oviedo having enough of this Christian stuff and wanting to return to the berber domains (I suppose Spain is out of the question)

Knighting Ceremony:

Apparently Margaret Pole herself was made Countess of Salisbury during this same ceremony... right? @houseofclarence

Also Maggie Pole being like: “being a rebel is in my blood, or so they tell me”... gahhh what’s with these shows and the Clarence erasure? Can’t they make one bloody reference to her dad or grandad Warwick? Ugh. Especially with lines like this. Actually? You know what? Ignore my previous comment about the stoic remark and it being an ironic reference to Clarence. I put such subtlety above this show’s writers.

Catherine has a habit of going to the coldest places possible to lose her children...

Haha @ Henry asking Bessie Blount (of all people) where Catherine is.

Conclusion:

6/10

What I’m happiest about is that Flodden got dealt with in one episode because warrior xena Catherine is not what interests me most about this show. Having said that, it was a true shame that James IV died because his were some of the best scenes. This whole show is starting to feel so historical fantasy-ish because the aesthetics are so confused. Granted it’s still pretty (not eyesore like Reign) but it doesn’t penetrate.

I am as always invested in the Poles (and More) but am also starting to get attached to Princess Mary whose actress exudes plenty of charm. This show remains confused with its feminist message because while it shows women being proactive there is so much emphasis on babies that what remains with the mind after watching is this womanish birthdrama, as opposed to a show about struggles which affect both genders.

You might tut at me and say I’m being ridiculous and that it is historically accurate to put so much emphasis on women’s babies and I say that’s swell. I would happily watch a show where that element is strong (most pre 1995 historical dramas are like that with traditionally feminine characters and I gulp them up like sustenance), but if a show promises feminism and women-men being partners I want it to deliver that properly. As I said in my previous post, why do we keep trying to make women engage in acts like war as if such an abhorrent act is the only way to take them seriously? I await the day where cunning, rationality and cool-headedness will be the traits portrayed as feminist ones.

There is nothing else to really comment on... the only potentially deeper message in this is the gender discourse. I am unsure about the accuracy so I can’t speak of the historical value of the interpretation. But what I will say is that though I remain excited for each new episode... I’m just not as invested as I was in TWQ (rewatch every year dont @ me) or TWP despite their many flaws. Some characters pull me in eg Maggie Pole (Carmichael is a bae), Thomas More etc but not the whole cast like TWQ. Anyway... would be interesting to see if anything happens with Lina and Oviedo tommorow as their storyline is conspicuously slow.

[wrestlingisfake]

Raw Fake Rankings, 12/31/2020

Men’s heavyweight singles division - babyfaces

Drew McIntyre (WWE world champion)

Sheamus

Keith Lee

Ricochet

Men’s heavyweight singles division - heels

Randy Orton

Bobby Lashley (WWE United States champion)

AJ Styles

MVP

Elias

Mustafa Ali

Unranked: Akira Tozawa, Angel Garza, Drew Gulak, Humberto Carrillo, Jaxson Ryker, Mace, Slapjack, T-Bar

It feels like the real direction for the main event involves the intrigue between Drew McIntyre and Sheamus, with the Miz in the background with his Money in the Bank contract.  Sounds like a pretty solid plan to kick off the year 2011, with fresh young talent that...wait, I’m being handed a bulletin.  Tomorrow is 2021.

Seriously, though, the Sheamus storyline is at least novel, in that he never really turned babyface but--by virtue of his association with McIntyre--he’s all but ceased acting as a heel except to tease turning on Drew someday.  And they seem to be doing a better job than usual protecting a guy (Lashley) to set up a money match down the line.  (Although I’m not sure what that match is, since Lashley already challenged McIntyre and lost.)  And I suppose they have a plan for Randy Orton vs. Bray Wyatt, even if I don’t get it.

However, Raw has struggled to make new stars.  (McIntyre’s 2020 push has been a success, but I’d call that a do-over from when they dropped the ball on him in 2009-2013).  Keith Lee’s run on this brand has been a critical failure.  Elias is about 5% wrestler and 95% cheap heat skits, and now he’s got Ryker standing around helping him not wrestle much.  Ricochet and Ali’s Retribution stable are in a battle of losers.  The Hurt Business is getting over as a top heel group, but they have a median age of 45 and they’re running out of hot faces to fight.

What will make Raw interesting in 2021 is that the brand is truly painted into a corner.  The show hit record low rating multiple times in 2020, and tried a lot of quick-fix hot angles that went nowhere.  The big arrivals this year didn’t make much of an impact, and indeed they’ve eroded the fandom’s faith in “calling up someone from NXT for a big push on Raw.”  So what else can they try?  We’ll soon find out.

Men’s tag team division - babyfaces

The Hardy Bros - Jeff Hardy & Matt Riddle

The New Day - Kofi Kingston & Xavier Woods

Lucha House Party - Gran Metalik & Lince Dorado

Men’s tag team division - heels

Cedric Alexander & Shelton Benjamin (Raw tag team champions)

The Miz (Mr. Money in the Bank) & John Morrison

I’m not even totally sure Riddle and Hardy are a long-term team, but I guess WWE has already trademarked “Hardy Bros” so for now they believe they’re sticking with that.  Lucha House Party showed up on the December 30 NXT to feud with Legado del Fantasma, which sure sounds like they’re leaving Raw for good, but we’ll have to wait and see.

Women’s singles division - babyfaces

Nikki Cross

Women’s singles division - heels

Reckoning

Raw’s women’s division is currently revolving around the tag title, so the singles division amounts to the women who don’t have tag partners right now.  Incidentally, I’m very surprised that the Alexa Bliss-Nikki Cross split ended without either of them really turning heel.

Women’s tag team division - babyfaces

Asuka (Raw women’s champion) & Charlotte Flair (WWE women’s tag team champions)

Dana Brooke & Mandy Rose

Women’s tag team division - heels

Nia Jax & Shayna Baszler

Lacey Evans & Peyton Royce

Jax and Baszler were kinda thrown together as a monster super-team a while back, which then led to them picking on Lana, which then led to Asuka offering to help Lana go after the tag title, which somehow led to Asuka and Flair as the tag champions.  Meanwhile, WWE went to all the trouble of repackaging Rose and Royce as solo acts just to turn around and put them in new teams for lack of any other ideas. 

I suppose you could build up the tag division from these four makeshift teams, but I don’t expect they will.  It’s all just in service to Asuka and Flair inevitably feuding over the singles title.  Once that gets going, I would imagine Asuka and Flair will do a “lose the tag title through miscommunication” thing and the belts will go to Evans and Royce, and get lost in the shuffle just like every time Royce and Billie Kay got the belts.

No matches in 30 days: Alexa Bliss, Dabba-Kato, Erik, Omos, R-Truth (WWE 24/7 champion), Titus O’Neil, Tucker

Dabba-Kato has yet to wrestle an actual match on Raw, and hasn’t been seen since Raw Underground was shelved.  Omos also hasn’t had a match yet, and technically isn’t even listed on WWE’s official roster.  I’m not sure what the in-ring future is for Bliss--her association with Bray Wyatt is money, but I don’t foresee it leading to a lot of women’s matches.

I’m starting to wonder if WWE has actually lost interest in the 24/7 title, given that nobody seems to have chased R-Truth around for it in a while.  It’s one of those things that can keep running on autopilot, well after they stop putting in actual effort--not unlike the original WWE hardcore title that inspired it--but now they don’t even seem to be doing that.

Part-time/semi-retired: Shane McMahon, The Big Show, Triple H

Shane was brought back in 2020 as the spokesperson for Raw Underground, so when that idea got canned, he disappeared as well.  So it’s really hard to imagine how he could return, since his primary value to WWE is to make an unexpected return to hype some new hotshot idea, and they literally just tried and failed to do that.  And it wouldn’t make much since for him to “invade” with a hotshot new faction, considering they still haven’t wound down Retribution.

Inactive

Andrade (elective surgery)

Becky Lynch (maternity leave)

Braun Strowman (storyline - indefinite suspension)

Bray Wyatt (storyline - burnt to a crisp)

Edge (right arm - triceps tear)

Ivar (neck - cervical vertebrae injury)

Jinder Mahal (right knee - unspecified injury)

Lana (storyline - head and left knee injuries)

Mickie James (nose - collapsed nasal cavity)

Naomi (abdomen - myomectomy)

Riddick Moss (knee - ACL tear)

Samoa Joe (concussion)

It was never entirely clear why Strowman was taken off TV, but I would assume he’ll back in time for the Royal Rumble, unless he’s dealing with an injury.  Similarly, I’m sure Wyatt will be back by the end of January, having magically recovered from being immolated by Randy Orton.  It’s interesting, though, that Wyatt and Orton will be settling their differences right around the time Edge is expected to return to renew his rivalry with Orton.  Is it possible Orton could go 2-0 with Wyatt to build him up for Edge?  And if so, how does Orton finish off Wyatt in a way that can top burning him alive?

Lana should be available to return whenever WWE needs, but it’s tough to gauge whether they’re waiting for the right moment in her story with Nia Jax, or if they’ve given up on all that and will leave her on the bench until they think of some totally new gimmick for her.

For the record, Andrade and James were in the 2020 draft pool but never picked, so technically they can show up on any brand once they return to action.  Lynch, Edge, Ivar, Mahal, and Joe weren’t even included in the draft pool, but I think that had more to do with their lengthy time away than anything else.  Regardless, I wouldn’t count on any of these performers leaving Raw anytime soon.

[mizeliza]

So, I’m reading Jane Eyre for a class and was wondering why you like the novel? Currently, I’m struggling to get through it, finding the language to be almost disorienting and alienating and Rochester to be unlike able.

You’ve opened a can of worms here because I truly do love Jane Eyre but I am also painfully aware that it is my problematic fave - there are a lot of things that are morally unacceptable by today’s standards in it and yet. And yet. 

I’ve tried to mostly keep this spoiler free, because you seem to be in the middle of the book, but the book has been out for 173 years, and many of the things I have say have to do directly with it’s major plot points and eventual ending. For the most part I’ve tried to be vague, but that isn’t always possible, if you care about spoilers, consider yourself duly warned. And if anything is too vague and you need a better explanation with more details, feel free to message me or send in another ask! As you’re about to see I love talking about Jane Eyre lol

Addressing your issues first:

If the language doesn't work for you, unfortunately you’re just going to have to struggle through it. It’s old and that was the style. I first read Jane Eyre for my 11th grade English class and to this day all my friends from that class refer to long, long sentences as Charlotte Bronte sentences. I don’t mind them, but I am also prone to long, long sentences in both my personal and academic work so. But I can definitely see how that could be a barrier for people. If you don’t have to go too deep into annotations or tracking for the class, it’s okay to skim a lot of the longer paragraphs in order to get to more of the action.

Rochester is very unlikeable, but I think that’s sort of the point, he’s one of the original brooding older men that don’t get on with anyone but that somehow has eyes for the young heroine - he sees in her what no one else does and falls in love with her for it. It’s a trope I associate a lot with 2000s/v early 2010s YA novels, and at this point it’s tired and admittedly creepy, but this was part of the origin of it, and I think that’s why it works for me. 

Side note - If at the end of it you want to really hate Rochester, read Wide Sargasso Sea by Jean Rhys, which is about colonialism and feminism and Bertha Mason and Rochester, during which he definitely comes off worse than in Jane Eyre and she gets to be more than the originator of a very different trope, but make sure to get a version with footnotes or you will be very lost 

There are a ton of other problems with it, which I won’t go into, simply because it would take lots of time and lots of space and that isn’t what you asked for.

So back to why I love Jane Eyre:

I once saw it described as the first YA novel and I think that’s a pretty succinct way of looking at it. It’s definitely a coming of age story - from Jane escaping her abusive family members to an even worse boarding school, to her entering into the wider world for the first time, eventually leaving even though she’s in love because she refuses to compromise her morals - more on that later, getting to explore herself and her purpose in life outside of having to worry about her physical, mental, or moral survival, standing up for herself and again refusing to compromise her beliefs, and then, finally, upon realizing what she really wants in life - with the obstacles conveniently removed by fate - she returns on her own terms and gets to live happily ever after. Upon first reading it, as I mentioned above with Rochester, I noticed a lot of aspects that were very familiar to me - several of my annotations in the copy I read for school are just “wow this is just like in harry potter” - but again, they were new at the time. Anyway I just love narratives of women growing up and discovering themselves and chasing after what they want, I just think they’re neat.

I much prefer the first half? 2/3? of the book, up until she leaves Rochester and goes walking across the moors (so dramatic! and yet, what an absolute mood, if I had a moor to wander across in a forlorn state after leaving the person I love because I refused to compromise myself for them I would also go for it and end up half-dead on the doorstep of strangers) than afterwards, when she’s living with the Riverses, simply because I find them boring, especially St. John (whose name is pronounced Sinjin, which infuriated half my English class). Even though I am too afraid to watch or read true horror, I love the concept of a good ambiguously haunted isolated gothic mansion, and Jane Eyre delivers that. 

Which brings me to one of my favorite things about the book, I gave a presentation on it in my English class, which I am now realizing was four years ago which is terrifying, what I call the “almost supernatural.” Jane Eyre is filled with things that could be supernatural that aren’t - the Red Room, where Jane is filled with fear at the thought of a ghost, when she first meets Rochester and at first mistakes Pilot the dog for a gytrash, then thinking the house is haunted when strange things start happening, when it turns out to have been a person all along, if not the one everyone told her it was, and even arguably Jane herself, who Rochester refers to as a fairy multiple times. She wants so badly to believe in the supernatural, and strange and interesting things keep happening around her, and even though they’re terrifying, I’ve always gotten sort of an air of disappointment from her when it’s revealed that they’re just normal things. And then, at the very end of the book, something supernatural actually does happen to her, and it’s glossed over like the fact that what happens is physically impossible doesn’t even matter to her, after wanting things to be supernatural the whole book, because she finally knows what she really wants and has the capacity to chase after it. 

Finally, I will always take the chance to talk about how I think Jane Eyre is a feminist narrative, and am always willing to argue my point. 

By the middle of the book, Jane is in love with Rochester, and he is in love with her, he’s proposed and they’re somewhat happy together, but the situation always feels a bit off to Jane. She still doesn’t really value herself at this point, and he wants to give her nice and expensive things, and she also still feels the power dynamic - she’s an 18-year-old, possibly 19-year-old at this point? I don’t remember all the dates/times, adult but v young, governess and he’s her what, mid thirties at the youngest? rich, land-owning employer. There’s a huge power dynamic there on multiple levels, and unlike earlier, during their talks in the library where she openly calls him ugly and teases him back, at this point because of the changed social dynamic between them because of their engagement and her feelings of inadequacy because of their positions in society, made very clear by Miss Blanche Ingram (another trope that Jane Eyre helped make popular - the single father marrying the governess), Jane no longer feels like she can criticize him. While before, especially while alone, they were on more or less equal footing, she is now all too aware of how unequal they are and she shrinks a bit because of it. Somewhat ironically, Jane has very little agency between her assertion of her agency - “I am no bird; and no net ensnares me; I am a free human being with an independent will” - and her leaving Rochester, during that time she basically lets things happen to her while being somewhat bewildered about them. 

And then. And then the truth about Rochester and Thornfield is revealed, and they can no longer be married. And he offers to go away with her, to where no one knows them, to live in sin as husband and wife even though they can’t be actually married. And Jane sticks to her principles. She believes that that’s wrong and she refuses, and rather than be tortured by either the betrayal of her principles or the knowledge that he’s there and loves her and she can’t have him, she leaves. She takes only what she already owned, leaving behind everything he gave her. She finally exerts her agency again, and from then on, she keeps exerting it. 

While with the Riverses, she makes her own choices, and her own money, and again refuses a marriage that she feels isn’t right and that doesn't align with her beliefs - this time, she chooses not to marry because neither of them are in love. She rejects what St. John sees as her duty, including what can be seen as rejecting a closer relationship to god and god’s work, when god was the reason for her rejection of Rochester in the first place. Even though I think this part of the book is the most boring, Jane stands up for herself a lot more here, and she asserts herself as a person who values herself, and maybe I should reread it lol. And then, after refusing St. John and asserting her value outside of marriage, and with herself now financially secure and able to be on equal footing, socially, financially, romantically, with Rochester, then she returns to him so that they can have an equal relationship - which it would not have been before. 

I hope this was satisfying to you, even though (like Jane Eyre) it is very long and somewhat rambley, and I hope that I manage to improve your experience of the book! Please feel free to send me any responses or other commentary that you have because as shown I really do love to talk about it :)

[the-awkward-outlaw]

Second Chances - Ch. 29

Unfinished Business

Warnings: swearing, blood, angst

Word count: ~6800

Masterlist

Read on AO3

The morning finds you, Sadie and Arthur camped out in Big Valley. Arthur has been relatively quiet since your discussion, not that you blame him. The end seems to be coming sooner than you thought, and the prospects of the future frightens you. 

You get up just as the sun is rising over the mountains. The other two are still asleep. You take the opportunity to wander into the large meadow on foot, feeling at peace finally. Something about this valley, the forest and the meadow seems so pure and holy. You used to go to church as a child with your parents, but the thing everyone else claimed they felt inside of it never came to you. That feeling of peace and of having found your place in the world comes here, though. You wonder if maybe when Arthur finally decides it’s time to leave the gang and Dutch, he’d be willing to live here. Perhaps you and him could build a small cabin. Strawberry’s close by, which is ideal for when you need to visit a shop or a post office. 

You sit down in the meadow near the thin winding river and study the scenery. A herd of pronghorns and a white tail buck graze nearby without any fear of you. In the distance, you spot three elk and even a herd of wild horses. If Heaven is real, it must look something like this. You pull out your journal and begin to sketch the view, finally feeling happy with the strokes of your pencil.

Nearly an hour passes and Sadie wanders towards you. “Hey, what you doin’?” she asks.

“Just enjoying the view.” You close your journal and stand up. 

“Come on. Arthur ain’t up yet, but you and I can go scope the place. Try and get a count of how many of those bastards are there.” 

You nod and follow Sadie over to Hanging Dog Ranch. It’s a relatively short walk and you both hide behind a boulder and look through your binoculars. Sadie counts over a dozen men, but you point out there could be more in the house and the barn. Plus there are tents set up and it’s possible that there might be more sleeping in them. 

Sadie suddenly gasps. “That bastard is here.” 

“Who?” you ask quietly. 

She points out a fat man with a bushy brown beard walking around near the barn. He pulls out a cigarette and begins chatting with another man. 

“He’s the feller who shot Jake. He left before Arthur and Dutch showed up, but I told him he’d see me again.” 

“He’s yours then, Sadie. Now come on, let’s go get Arthur.” 

Sadie growls and lowers her binoculars, grinding her teeth. You both head back to Arthur, who’s just stirring awake. He sits up and rubs his eyes. Sadie picks up her rifle and slings it over her shoulder. 

“Fine mornin’ for a killin’,” she says to him. 

He nods and stands up, picking up his own rifle. “You two seen anything down there?” 

“Yeah, there’s a bunch of them,” you say. 

“One of them,” Sadie snarls. “Fat feller with a beard. He’s mine.” 

“Okay,” Arthur says and gestures for you both to walk with him. As you do, Sadie and you fill him in on what the ranch is like. 

“I’ll take the lead once we get there,” Sadie says as you walk out of the cover of the trees.

“So no real plan then?” Arthur points out. 

“Oh I got a plan. Now come on, get in cover.” 

You and Arthur hide behind a large boulder near the perimeter fence while Sadie continues walking. She goes up to the front of the ranch where two O’Driscolls stand, keeping guard. They spot her and one says, “Hey. I think I know her! She’s one of Dutch’s-” 

He’s suddenly cut off by Sadie’s bullet plunging into his skull. The other one falls as she shoots. You and Arthur stand up and aim, firing upon more of the men. Sadie begins screaming like a wild cat and runs into the ranch amidst the returning gun fire.

“Damn it, Sadie!” Arthur growls and he runs out from behind the rock. You follow him and together, you run into the ranch after Sadie and continue shooting. The loft doors of the barn slam open and a man with a gatling gun opens fire, sending you and the others diving behind stacked crates. Sadie takes cover behind an outhouse. 

“Take him out, Arthur!” Sadie yells.

“I can’t get a good shot at him!” he yells back, reloading his gun. You peak around your crates and you can get a shot at him, but he’s directed the gunfire at you and Arthur. 

“Arthur!” you yell over the thundering shots. “Can you direct his fire? I can get him, but it’s too much where he’s at!” 

“Fine!” he hollers back. He takes a breath and then darts over to where Sadie’s at, successfully taking the man’s fire with him. You dart out quickly, aim and breathe out. Pulling the trigger, the gatling gun fire suddenly stops as your bullet strikes him in the neck. 

The O’Driscolls begin hollering in anger as Sadie and Arthur leave their cover and the three of you advance on them. After a few more moments, the shooting stops. 

Sadie lowers her gun. “There’s more in the buildings. You two take the barn, I’ll take the house.” She doesn’t wait for a response and runs to the house, kicking the door in as you and Arthur head to the barn. You see a wagon sitting near the barn with crates in it, creating a perfect platform to get to the upper floor of the barn without going inside of it. You do so as Arthur smashes through the front doors, firing on more of the men. You take cover outside of one of the windows and then aim inside, taking out two men. Another man yells in anger and aims his gun down at Arthur. Before he has the chance to fire, you take him out. All is quiet at last. 

“You okay up there?” Arthur yells. 

You climb in the window and look down at him, waving to signify that you’re fine though a bit out of breath. “Good. I’ll help Sadie, you loot these bastards, see what you can find.” 

You nod and take the chance to catch your breath as Arthur heads over to the house. As you’re looting the men you shot, you hear Sadie’s shriek and then silence. If you didn’t know her, you’d think she was being murdered, but you know she must have found her quarry. 

A few moments go by and you’re about to go into the house when the door opens. Out walks Arthur and Sadie, who’s covered in blood. Her eyes are watery and she sniffs loudly. Arthur whistles for his horse.

“I think I need to be alone for a bit,” Sadie says as you walk up to them. 

“I understand,” Arthur replies. He looks at her and then gestures to her clothes. “You, um, might wanna get cleaned up.”

She smiles a bit and then thanks him and you before hopping onto her horse and galloping away. Arthur puts a hand on your shoulder as you both walk over to your horses.

“You okay?” he asks. 

“Of course. Sadie?” 

“Ah, she found that bastard she mentioned. Anyways, we probably need to head back.” 

He hops onto Artemis and looks at you as though waiting for you to argue with him about returning to Beaver Hollow. Instead, you sigh and hop onto Rannoch. 

“Can we just walk there?” you ask. “I know the station ain’t far, but… this place is so pretty, Arthur.” 

“Fine,” he says. He’s still been acting strange, even cold and distant. 

The two of you run the horses in relative silence. The forest changes from the thick, close pines to clusters of aspens. Just as you’re approaching the army fort, you hear someone calling.

“Help me!” the voice calls. “And I shall help thee.” 

You pull Rannoch to a stop and look around for who the voice belongs to. You see a figure near the road leading to the fort, slightly hunched and using a walking stick. You call Arthur’s attention to the figure and trot Rannoch up to the person.

The figure turns out to be an old man, a wild gray beard hides most of his face. He doesn’t seem to see you or Arthur as you approach, but he must hear you. He calls out, “Penny for the blind.” He shakes a tin cup.

You dismount with Arthur and approach him, neither of you saying a word. The man must know you’re close to him as he stretches out the arm holding the cup. “Help a blind man,” he asks, his white eyes blinking. 

You and Arthur pull out a coin and drop it into his tin. He rattles the cup and then pauses. Although he cannot see, he faces Arthur.

“Be warned, sir, be warned. Surrounded by fields of burning fire and flesh, the devil shall make his sacrifice.”

“Uh, okay. Thanks, I guess,” Arthur says. 

The old man shakes the tin again, listening for the clinking of your coin with Arthur’s. His head, which shakes slightly, turns to face you. 

“When the golden stag lifts his head, that is when you must go backwards rather than forward.” 

“Um, okay. Appreciate it.” 

You both stand in front of him, waiting to see if the blind man will say anything else. 

“Please, I need to be alone with my thoughts,” he says. “They say old blind man Cassidy is crazy, but I see what others do not.” 

Arthur shrugs his shoulders and returns to Artemis, hopping onto her and continuing on. You do the same. 

“Hey,” he calls back to you. “You mind if we run up to Charlotte’s? I, uh, wanted to check on her. Make sure she’s doin’ alright.” 

“Of course. And what about Hamish?” you ask. 

“Oh, he’s fine, I’m sure. We’ll go huntin’ with him soon but we need to check in with camp again before we do that. Dutch mentioned somethin’ to do with the army and Eagle Flies. I’m worried he’s gonna try somethin’ real stupid.” 

You sigh and agree. You’re beginning to get tired of Dutch and his warped plans, using the complicated struggle between the Indians and the army as a means to his ends. Arthur is getting tired of them too, but he still seems to want to stick around, try to help Dutch clear his head. Whenever you mention the possibility of you both leaving, Arthur brings up John. While you agree that John and his family need the chance to escape, John doesn’t seem interested in taking it. You wonder how long Arthur will wait for him before he decides he’s done. Although he agreed that if, by a month, he’d leave with you, he didn’t seem taken by the idea. Part of you wonders if he truly wants to leave, even though he says he does. 

Arthur still says little as you both head up north towards Willard’s Rest, passing by a loft on a cliff which overlooks the sweeping expanse of New Hanover and Lemoyne. The trees return as you head down the mountain and rejoin the railroad tracks which will lead you right to Charlotte’s home. 

The falls come into view and Arthur diverts Artemis off the train tracks and up the rise. He slows down just before reaching the cabin. As you do the same, you hear a gunshot and trot Rannoch up the path. Once the cabin is in view, you see Charlotte with her back to you, aiming a rifle at bottles she’s placed on a crate. She shoots again, but none of the bottles break. 

“Darn it!” she calls out, lowering her rifle. You and Arthur walk up to her and she smiles when she sees you.

“How you feelin’, ma’am?” Arthur asks.

“Much better than I’ve felt in a long time. If we hadn’t caught that rabbit, I don’t think I’d have made it another day.”

“Well, you sure look better,” Arthur says, smiling. You nod. Now that you can see her face properly, she has more color and her face is clean, her eyes brighter.

“Better and determined, thanks to you two.” She pats the rifle in her hands. “If I’m going to to hunt, I figured it was time I learn how to use this.” She aims the rifle again.

“How’s that going?” you ask, watching with a smile. 

“Well, let’s just say my prey is looking rather unscathed.” She takes in a deep breath and shoots, the bullet going nowhere near her target. “But the end of labor is to gain leisure, isn’t that what Aristotle said?” She places the butt of the rifle on the ground, the barrel pointing up past her. 

Arthur grabs the barrel and points it away so she doesn’t accidentally shoot herself. “Well, I don’t know much about Aristotle, but I do know guns. Come on, I’ll show ya.” 

You smile as he shows Charlotte how to stand and properly hold the rifle. It reminds you of when he taught you how to do the same all those months ago. 

“Hold steady,” he says softly, “breathe slowly and always pull the trigger on empty lungs. I’ll show you.”

He pulls out his pistol and aims it, shooting at one of the smaller bottles on the crate. 

“You make it look so easy,” she says. 

“It is,” you say, pulling out your revolver. You point at another bottle and shoot it, the glass shattering. “You try now. Remember to breathe.” 

Charlotte clears her throat and aims the rifle again. “Wait to breathe out,” she says to herself over and over. After a few seconds, she fires again, the bullet striking the corner of the barrel.

“Would you look at that?” she says happily. “I haven’t hit one that close all day!” 

“Not bad,” Arthur says. “Focus on the inhale, shoot on the exhale. My turn.” 

Just as Arthur is about to shoot, something scurries out from behind the shed. 

“Oh no, that wretched rat is back,” Charlotte says. “It’s been a thorn in my side since we moved here.” 

Without hesitation, Arthur pulls the hammer of his gun down and shoots the rat. With a sly smile, he looks over at Charlotte. 

“Show off,” she says, a light blush on her cheeks. 

Arthur chuckles and shoots a bottle. “Alright, Y/N’s turn.” 

You clear your throat and shoot another bottle. Something about Arthur’s behavior is beginning to make you feel unsettled. He’s been distant with you the past two days, and now here he is being friendly with Charlotte. Helping people isn’t unusual for him, but something about their interactions seems different. You hope Charlotte isn’t growing something for him. 

Charlotte nods in approval of your shot and then aims again. She hesitates once more and then pulls the trigger. A bottle explodes. 

“I hit it! Did you see that? I hit it!”

Arthur chuckles and smiles at her. “That you did. You’re already gettin’ better.” 

“What can I say? Thank you.” She pauses for a moment. “Listen, I still have some of the rabbit left. I’ve salted it up. Would you both join me for a meal? It’s the least I can do.”

You and Arthur thank her and follow her inside her cabin. The majority of it is a long, single room for the kitchen and dining, but two rooms lead off to the right side, their doors shut. Charlotte sets the rifle down behind the door and heads over to her stove where a pot of stew is boiling. She gestures for you and Arthur to take a seat. 

You and Arthur do so and Charlotte brings the pot over to the table. “Well, it’s hot at least.” She grabs some bowls and spoons some stew into one, handing it to Arthur. “Bon appetit.” 

“Huh?” he says. 

She smiles at him. “Please enjoy.” 

He smiles back at her and dips his spoon into it as Charlotte hands you a bowl as well. You thank her and taste it. It’s surprisingly good, better than Pearson’s anyways. 

Charlotte sits down opposite you and begins filling up her bowl. “I really am grateful to both of you. You’ve already helped me so much.” 

“It was nothing,” you say.

She smiles at the pair of you. “You’re good people.”

“Awe, I wouldn’t say that. Least not about me,” Arthur says. 

“I know enough. There’s always more to find in ourselves. You helped me to see that. My husband Cal was such an optimist I found it to be very contagious. But if I’ve learned anything out here, it’s that there’s a fine line between optimism and naivety.”

She starts telling the story of how she and Cal had lived in Chicago. It’s very different from your life in Blackwater. While you had been able to enjoy the perks of civilization in Blackwater, it was nothing to compare to Charlotte’s life. Your father had enough money to keep you and your mother comfortably living, but Charlotte and Cal must have come from wealthy families. 

“It turned out to be very crushing,” she continues. “My father could be overbearing. Then we came out here and I got crushed by this. When Cal first came up with this idea, I pictured myself picking vegetables from a garden, sipping homemade wine, writing a great novel. Instead I turned out to be a far more pathetic anti-heroine than I ever imagined.”

Arthur smiles at her. “I reckon you’ll do just fine, ma’am. I think you’ll find you have more strength than you realize.” 

She smiles at him and then catches herself. “But listen to me. Throwing my worries and burdens on you fine people. I barely know anything about either of you except you’re familiar with guns and hunting.”

“There ain’t much to tell, to be honest,” Arthur says. It’s clear he doesn’t want Charlotte to know too much about the gang, nor do you simply as part of the code. He does tell her about his mother and father, the same story he told you. When he gets to how he was on his own until Dutch and Hosea found him, he makes it sound as though they lived fairly normal lives and depended on nature to survive. 

 Charlotte listens politely as he tells his story. “Well, they must be good men to have taken you in the way they did, this Dutch and Hosea.” 

“They are, or were. Unfortunately Hosea passed away not long ago and Dutch, well. He’s changed since then. Been more rash and impulsive.” 

Charlotte sighs. “Must be hard for him. Sounds like he and Hosea built quite a family and lifestyle together. Grief does strange things to people, and no one deals with it the same way. I myself have done things I never would since Cal died. There’s been times when I’ve become overwhelmed with anger and just want to… hurt someone or something so they can feel even a bit of my own pain. Perhaps that’s what is happening with Dutch.” 

“I don’t know. He’s always been the more impulsive of the two, but it’s like now that Hosea’s no longer there to be the voice of reason, Dutch just goes around destroying everything in his path.” 

Charlotte stands up and takes your empty bowls. “Well, he’s lucky to have you there for him at least. Maybe while he’s processing this situation, you can try and help steer him.” 

“Oh I been tryin’. Things are… just goin’ from bad to worse.” 

“How so?” 

“Awe, it… it’s complicated.” Arthur looks at you and pats your knee. “Charlotte, thank you for the meal, we really appreciate, but we need to get back.”

“Of course,” she says, clasping her hands. “I understand, and thank you both again for all your help. I never thought I’d be saying this, but I’m going to try hunting today.” 

“Good,” you say, standing up. “I’m sure you’ll be just fine.” 

She smiles at you again. “Listen, if either of you need anything, please don’t hesitate to call. Anything I can do to repay you for your kindness.” 

You both thank her once more and head back to Beaver Hollow. Once again, Arthur’s uncharacteristically quiet. It’s almost the way he was when he first asked you to marry him, he has that same distance about him. You think back to what was last said before he starting being this way, and you recall your discussion about setting a date to leave the gang if things haven’t progressed or if John hasn’t left on his own. 

You both arrive back at Beaver Hollow and Dutch walks over to Arthur, his arms spread. “There you are, Arthur. Listen, I need you to come with me. We are going to help our friend Eagle Flies give the army a final tweak on its nose.” 

Arthur hitches Artemis up and looks hard at Dutch. “You really think that’s a smart idea, Dutch? We’re already in the army’s bad books, you think this is going to help us or the Indians?” 

Dutch puts his hand on Arthur’s shoulder. “This is the right choice, Arthur. We need noise, and a lot of it to get those Pinkertons off our backs.”

“I thought that was the whole reason behind blowin’ up the bridge?” 

“Yes, it was, but it didn’t create enough. Now come on.” 

Dutch hops onto the Count and looks at Arthur expectantly. Arthur sighs heavily and gets back onto Artemis.

“You want me to come along?” you ask, hoping that perhaps you and Arthur can talk Dutch out of doing something stupid. 

“No,” Dutch says. “The fewer of us involved, the better.” 

Without another word, he kicks his horse into a gallop and Arthur doesn’t even have the chance to say anything to you. You watch them until they disappear beyond the horizon. As you’re turning to head to your tent, you suddenly bump into Javier.

“Shit!” you say, jumping a little. “You scared me.” 

“Y/N,” he says without any other greeting. “I need your help with something. Heard of a stagecoach coming up to Annesburg. Big mailing stage going through Van Horn. Arthur says you did a good job a couple months back on one just like it.”

“Oh, okay.” You’re taken aback by this. Javier has never done a job with you nor asked for your help with one. It’s even more curious that he’s doing so now with how hostile he’s been with everyone in camp. He seems to sense your hesitation. 

“It could have a lot of cash, Y/N. The more we get, the sooner we can all get out of here. We all need to help Dutch in order to help ourselves. Now let’s go.” 

You sigh and begin following him when Micah calls him back. “Javier, I need you for something. Dutch mentioned you might have some knowledge on this train we’re thinking might be coming through.” 

“Can it wait?” he asks. “Y/N and I are going out on a job.” 

“She can do it by herself, can’t she?” he demands, waving a hand in your direction. Javier looks at you and then to Micah. It’s clear he doesn’t want to abandon the job. You pat his shoulder reassuringly. 

“It’s okay, Javier, I can manage this one on my own. The drivers for this mailing company ain’t that tough. I’ll even save some of the cut for you.” 

He pauses a moment and then nods. “Thanks, Y/N.” 

Micah doesn’t look at you as he heads back to Dutch’s tent with Javier. You’re glad for this job as it allows you to get away from this place again. You feel a little bad, you and Arthur haven’t brought any kind of meat back in a few days and Pearson’s stew is probably fairly sparse at this point. You make a note to hunt after the stage. 

Rannoch gallops down the path as you ride east and south in the direction of Van Horn. Your mind is elsewhere as he runs. It’s too late when you realize that things have gotten too quiet on the trail. 

Just as you’re becoming nervous, a shot rings out through the trees in your direction. The bullet doesn’t hit you or Rannoch but it’s enough to make him stop and rear up, tossing you onto your back. He gallops off as two men come out from the trees. 

You gather yourself and stand up, whipping out your guns. At first you think they’re Murfrees as this is still their territory and they’ve continued robbing people despite Dutch stealing their stronghold. However, you notice their clothes are only dirty, but not torn, old and rugged. The men also lack the wild glint in their eyes that Murfrees have. You wonder if they’re just desperate travelers robbing anyone coming down this way. 

“Get her!” one of them yells. He has a flabby, long face with dull eyes and moppy brown hair. The other is a gangly blonde with red cheeks. He laughs loudly and points his gun at you. Before he has a chance to pull the trigger, you shoot your sawed-off at him and he drops to the ground, blood flowing from his chest where you shot him. The other man looks at you with his dull eyes. 

“Let’s drop this,” he says in a slow voice. He throws his gun down and pulls out his knife. “Let’s see who’s the fastest and strongest.” 

“You’re not trying to rob me?” you demand, suspicious. 

He smiles, showing crooked teeth. “Ain’t never wanted to rob you, lady. Just doing my job.” 

Before you have the chance to ask further, he lunges at you. You dodge out of the way and begin lifting your gun to shoot him, having no care to fight on his terms. He slams into you, his large body knocking you on the ground and your guns flying from your hands. He lifts his leg to stomp on you but you roll out of the way, crawling towards your gun. He swiftly kicks you in the ribs and then picks you up, throwing you to the other side of the trail. 

A second passes and you’re on your feet again, spitting your hair from your mouth. Your ribs hurt where he kicked you, but you don’t acknowledge the pain. You pull out your knife and wait for him. He lunges once more and you dodge, but he trips you. As you’re falling, his blade swipes, the tip catching at your left cheek and gliding across your eye and up to your forehead. The knife misses your eye luckily and you clutch your face, pull your hand away to see it covered in a thick line of blood. The man chuckles and you get up to your feet again, determined despite the blood that’s dripping into your eye. 

“Got you good, looks like,” he smiles when he sees the slash across your face. 

“It’s nothing compared to what I’m gonna do to you!” You square your shoulders. 

He adjusts his grip on the knife, clearly expecting you to come at him. Instead, you dive to the other side of the path, grabbing the sawed-off. You roll onto your back, aiming it. His eyes widen and he runs into the trees as you shoot, your aim off due to the blood in your eye. You blink several times and shoot more, but he’s long gone. 

The sounds of his footsteps fade, alerting you to the fact that he’s not coming back. You clench your teeth and put a hand over the left side of your face. You’re glad camp isn’t too far away as you get up and whistle for Rannoch. A few seconds pass and he comes back, neighing. After holstering your guns and knife, you pat his neck and climb onto his back. 

“Take me home, boy,” you say, grabbing his reins in your free hand and guiding him back. 

As you trot down the trail leading directly into Beaver Hollow, Charles sees you. 

“What happened?” he hollers, grabbing Rannoch’s bridle to better guide him into camp. 

“Ambush. Guy caught me with his knife.” 

Charles hitches Rannoch and then helps you climb off, guiding you with a hand around your shoulder to where Grimshaw’s standing. He calls her attention, stating you’ll need stitches. 

“Again, girl?” she squawks. “I swear, you have the worst luck.” 

She marches to your tent and beckons you to lay down on your cot. You do so and Charles hands you a cloth to soak up the blood. You’re beginning to feel a bit light-headed, a result of losing so much. Grimshaw stomps back holding a bottle of whiskey and Strauss’s medical kit, which got left behind. 

She works quickly, sewing your face back together, dabbing whiskey on the cut. As she does, you tell her what happened to try and ignore the pain. 

“He didn’t say why he was tryin’ to kill you?” 

“No,” you say. “Just said he was on a job.” 

Grimshaw grunts in confusion. Charles has stayed close to make sure she doesn’t need anything else. After a while, she finishes and tells you to get up. Just as you’re sitting up, Grimshaw’s hand on your shoulder, Micah saunters by. 

“Get yourself into a spot of trouble again, hmm?” he sneers. “I’m guessing that stage job didn’t get done either. Real way to pull your weight.” 

Without thinking, you launch to your feet and rush at him, determined to punch any part of him you can reach. Grimshaw stops you and Charles gets in the way. He tells Micah to leave before you completely lose control. Micah just glares at you and walks away. 

“You need to calm down,” Grimshaw demands. “Otherwise you’re gonna bleed more. Now you sit down and I’ll grab you something to eat.” 

You do as she says, trying to slow your breathing. She comes back after a few moments with a bowl of Pearson’s stew. She then tells you to take it easy for the night. You’d think she was being kind, but you know Grimshaw too well. She doesn’t want you to cause your cut to begin bleeding again and make you pass out. The pain has come in full by this point and it’s almost overwhelming. Your ribs ache as well from where the man kicked you. You grab the bottle of whiskey Grimshaw was using and start drinking. 

By nightfall, you’ve drunk so much your face no longer hurts but you can’t feel much else either. You sit around the campfire, waiting for Arthur to return. The staring from everyone in camp has resulted in you draping your hair over the left side of your face and using the tip of your hat to hide your eyes the way Arthur does. 

Dutch saunters into camp, but Arthur is nowhere in sight. He tells you he’s fine, just off hunting and he should be back soon. You’re barely able to understand what he’s saying as you’ve become so drunk. Dutch must be able to tell, he tells you to get to bed. You do so with little argument, stumbling all the way. 

The next morning you wake just as the sun is rising. Your head pounds fiercely from the alcohol and your face feels like it’s on fire. Your ribs are sore, adding to the pain. You lie in the cot, wishing you could die where you lay. You flop your hand to Arthur’s side, only to find it empty. Just as you open your eyes to see if he’s in the tent at all, your stomach heaves. You leap to your feet and dash to the river, emptying your stomach of what little is left. 

After a few moments, you splash cold water from the river onto your face, making your cut sting. It does little to cure your headache but at least you can think a bit more clearly. Getting back up the hill is an enormous effort, but you do and head over to Pearson’s fire to get yourself some coffee. 

As your sipping your coffee, trying to ignore the pain, Mary-Beth walks up holding a small bowl. She holds it out to you.

“Here, I, um, I made some of that concoction Hosea made you when your leg was bad.” 

You look in the bowl and see the familiar paste with bits of the crushes plants mixed in it. You take it from her, thanking her. You swallow it quickly, although it tastes awful, and chase it down with coffee. 

By late morning, your headache is dull enough you can pick up chores again. Grimshaw flatly expresses she doesn’t want you going anywhere the next few days, stating you’ve had enough adventures for a while. 

While you work, you think about how horrible things have become in the gang. So many people have died or left, it seems like hardly anyone is left. You observed Tilly and Karen having a heated argument that the entire gang heard as Tilly pleaded with her to stop drinking. The fight ended when Karen nearly struck Tilly but walked away at the last second. 

Your own adventure from yesterday that resulted in your face getting cut open only adds to your worry. You haven’t been able to forget what that man said, how he was attacking you on someone’s orders. The question of who keeps circling in your head, providing no answers. You wonder if it would be best if you and Arthur left sooner than you agreed on. If things have gotten this bad in so little time, you don’t even want to think about how much worse they’ll be in a few weeks’ time. 

As you finish scrubbing a shirt, you hear a horse coming down the path. Looking up, you see Artemis with Arthur astride her. You wave to him and smile, although it quickly disappears because it hurts too much. Arthur half-heartedly returns it. You get up and walk over to him, your face still half covered. 

“Arthur, can we talk?” you ask as he’s hitching Artemis. 

“Sure,” he says. He heads over to your tent. You ask him how things went with Dutch yesterday and he sighs heavily. “Whole thing was a mess. Eagle Flies has been taken prisoner by the army. I’m gonna talk with Charles, see if we can break him out.” 

“And Dutch just let him?”

“Dutch didn’t see. The army came at us hard, even had a goddamn cannon. Dutch and I got split off from the others and had to jump off a cliff into the river. Had no choice, we got cornered. Anyways, after we escaped, I went digging around to find out what happened to Eagle Flies.” 

You nod, biting your lip. “It’s getting worse, Arthur. Maybe… maybe after we get Eagle Flies out, we need to leave. You and me.” 

Arthur turns and looks at you, his brow furrowed. “What about everyone else? We just gonna leave them all behind to suffer?” 

“Arthur, we can’t help those who won’t help themselves. You taught me that. John has shown no desire to leave, to get Abigail and Jack out. I talked to her this morning, she says she won’t go anywhere without John. We need to think about-” 

“Don’t talk to me about gettin’ ourselves out, darlin’!” he snaps at you, taking you back. “I told you I was gonna get as many people out as I can, and that’s what I’m gonna do. If you wanna leave, then I ain’t gonna stop ya.”

“Arthur, I’m not leaving without you. Where you go, I go, remember?” 

“Then I guess you’ll be staying here with me until things get figured out.” He begins turning away when a slight breeze blows through the tent, lifting your hair slightly as you stare at him incredulously. “What’s that?” he asks, straightening back up.

“It’s nothing,” you say quickly, pulling your hair back over your face. 

He sighs and brushes the hair away from your face. “What the hell?” 

You pull away from his hand, realizing he must find the slash hideous. You push the hair back over your face. 

“What happened, sweetheart?” 

You tell him everything, including what the man said. “You see what I mean?” you finish. “Things are getting worse, Arthur. Someone is gunning for me and I don’t know who. Please, Arthur, let’s get out of here. Start our life somewhere else like we talked about.” 

He lowers his brow again. “And like I said, I ain’t goin’ nowhere until I can get as many people out as I can. They deserve it.” 

“Arthur, if they wanted to leave, they’d have done it by now.” 

“So we just forget about them, hmm? We just tell Tilly, Mary-Beth, Karen, John and all them to figure it out themselves? All because you’re scared about who’s gunnin’ for ya? I’ll protect you, sweetheart, I always have.” 

“You ain’t always around, Arthur! Dutch has you runnin’ around so much, you can’t possibly do that.” 

“So then deal with it! Go find who this bastard is and put a bullet in him. You took down your goddamn family, this should be easy.” 

You can’t understand why Arthur is saying these things. You know he’s always been loyal to the gang, to Dutch. You thought he’d be willing to let it go if it meant having a new life with you. 

“Arthur, please. Please, let’s get out here. We’ve saved who we can, the rest need to take care of themselves. We keep going like this, we’re all going to die!” 

“Then go! If you’re going to be a coward, then get out of here!” His voice has risen considerably. You stare up at him.

“I- I’m not a coward, Arthur. I’m just trying to be real.”

He lifts his lip to you. “No, you’re just looking after yourself. That’s all you ever done. You don’t give a damn about none of these people. You just want me all to yourself, living in some cabin the rest of our lives like a goddamn fantasy.” 

“No, that-that’s not true. Just listen to me. I’m scared for everyone, Dutch is on a suicide mission and he’s taking all of us with him.” 

“You always blame everything on Dutch, don’t you? He’s workin’ on getting us out, that means all of us. He’s as sick of losing people as we are. But you… you just assume the worst of him. Once we all get out of here, he’ll get better.” 

“Arthur, if he hasn’t gotten any better he won’t ever! Stop lying to yourself!” 

He glares down at you and shakes his head a little. “I can’t believe you’d be so selfish,” he mutters. “After all these people have done for you, you’d just let them all die so you can live. You know what? Asking you to marry me was the worst mistake I ever made.” 

Your heart plummets into your stomach. He clears his throat, looking away. “Y/N, I didn’t mean-” 

“Save it, Arthur,” you growl. “Fine, I ain’t gonna stick around only to watch you die because of the rantings of a mad man, and I won’t hang around as a reminder of your mistakes.” 

You grab your satchel from the cot, ignoring his stammerings. 

“Y/N, I didn’t mean- Let me rephrase that.” 

You stomp across the clearing, trying to keep the tears from falling. You won’t give Arthur the satisfaction of seeing you cry. He follows you a few steps behind.

“Y/N, stop! I didn’t mean that, I’m just tryin’ to-”

“And I told you to save it, Arthur!” you holler, climbing onto Rannoch, painfully aware of the gang’s eyes on you. Arthur stands by Rannoch and grabs the reins. 

“Y/N, please let me explain things.” 

“You said your bit, Arthur, and no matter how much you try, you can’t take back what you said. But I’m glad to know what you truly think about me. Now leave me alone.” 

His brow furrows again. “Fine, then run off like you always do. That’s all you ever done when things go bad. That’s what you did when you killed your family and that’s what you did every time you and I argued. All you ever do is run away!”

You bite your lip and look away, willing yourself not to cry. You look down and see his ring on your finger and your tempted to throw it at him. Instead, you look at him. “Good bye, Arthur.” You jerk Rannoch’s reins from his hand and gallop down the path, refusing to look at what you’re leaving behind.

[howareyanowpod]

The Letterkenny Leave

How Are Ya Now? Podcast Spotify Playlist - https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1IDa578R0Drfh6WflJxMFU Guest Host:  Genesis Nunlee This weeks band:  Lizzie Boredom Pre-show stuff (00:00 - 09:58):

Indiegogo campaign:  https://igg.me/at/podscure/x/22323938#/

Please help us get our gear upgraded before the end of the month.

Growth:  25%

Cosplay contest:  https://howareyanowpod.com/how-are-ya-now-cosplay-contest/

New Patreon subscriber:  Shaine Wynsma https://www.patreon.com/HowAreYaNowPod

Happy Saturday Dean, And my best to your lovely wife Tiara. Congrats on all of your success! I have been listening for a couple of weeks and just finished the Season 3 wrap up. The interview with Tyler was amazing. As are you guys, not surprised it has taken off the way it has. I would love to be on the show. Watching, actually re-watching, S6 E1 right now. Which is the one I would pick, between us girls. But I am gonna takes you up on your offer of promoting something. Cuz that’s what’s I appreciates about yous. Sept 7 and 8th, I am going to be riding 200 miles in the Ride for Life Chicago. The Ride benefits TPAN, an HIV/AIDS outreach group in Chicago. It is 100 mile ride from Chicago to Sawyer, Michigan. A very Letterkenny type town in West Michigan, not sure of it population, but it has its problems. Then 100 miles back on the 8th. More information on TPAN is available at TPAN.org. This will be my 9th time doing this ride and raising funds for them. If any of the degens out there would like to donate, any amount is fine, my ride donation page link is http://support.tpan.com/goto/Shainemw. All the money goes into TPAN’s general fund. If they let me know they heard it from you, I’ll make reference to How Are Ya Now.  Over an Out, ShainePlease donate ANYTHING you can to Shaine's ride and let 'em know that you heard about it from us!!!

This is a big feminist episode!

Introductions

Facebook Group - Professor Tricia Would Literally Shit a Brick

Episode dive (09:58- 0:48:00):

Recap:   Letterkenny Talent Show

Deep dive of this episode:  The Letterkenny Leave

Thoughts/Theories/Trivia/Questions (0:48:00 - 1:07:20):

"Meaty" episode

Hockey players and Skids BOTH had A LOT of dialog

Dean's never played "Never Have I Ever"

Thoughts/Questions/Observations from our degens: Bobby from JB’s Meme’s via Twitter stated: Also. Reilly and Jonesy's blackboard. The chubby stick figure and it says "Shoresy = fat " 😂And then: This is possibly the first episode, not written by Jared and Jacob. I could be wrong.Well, I then brought in “Awesome” (our Trivia Maven) to fact check. Her response was: “the first episode of #letterkenny to be written by someone other than @jaredkeeso  and @jacobtierney79 was s03e04 Les Hiques, by @TorrensJonathan” Victoria McCabe - Facebook (New admin for FB pages/groups) Even more Wayne autism evidence. Why is Katy still annoyed at McMurray in the later episode after this (I mean granted the phrasing was awful)? Does this answer last week's had she had both question? Ever played never have I ever? If so, best or worst thing you ever revealed or had revealed? Ever done or had done any of the mentioned goodbyes? Are there any ones you can think of that they didn't mention in that? That girl doesn't need to be on drugs, prob a good idea she read and didn't take the steroids. Poor poor trusting hockey players. Valerie Lopez - Facebook Soooo, didjya ever notiiiice (I'm doing terrific there bud) that Tanis'ssssses didn't partake of the hot tub party? Why is that? Why wouldn't the McMurray's have invited her given they know that it would have made Wayne uncomfortable to have her in the hot tub with him and they thrive on that. Just my own theory that the McMurray's thrive on discomfort and would have loved watching that happen.. And 2nd point --- does anyone REALLY believe that Pastor Glen had noooos ideas whats was happenings? It was such a fun contradiction to watch play out. Additionally, Valerie is a Patreon patron and now our HIGHEST contributor on our Indiegogo campaign!As you may remember, she heads-up the Comedy Wham podcast. She has now done three separate episodes on Comedy Wham that are in reference to Letterkenny.If you go to comedywham.com and put “Letterkeny” in their search box, you’ll find four articles!  Check ‘em out! Thank you so much, Valerie!  We love you to pieces! 

Glen and Gail being both oversexualized and undersexualized at the same time.

How white is Canada?

Racism:  North vs South vs Canada

Is Wayne into horror books?

What would happen if Wayne and Dary fought?

Mrs. McMurray looked really bummed when Dan got out of the hot tub. Trivia 

R&J reference "Charlotte gains, bro" and "Serge of gains, bro".  Those are references to:  Charlotte (English-French actress and singer) and Serge Gainsbourg (father of Charlotte, French singer and songwriter ) 

Soft-pass:  Opposite of a Hard-pass.  Something that you're interested in but just can't do.

Mrs. McMurray references being in (Aca)'pulco until "fellas started getting' haved from bridges with their dinks cutt off".  This was something that actually happened down in Acapulco in 2017/18 from rival drug gangs.

All of the baseball players mentioned had careers sullied by their use of steroids

Roger Clemens

Sammy Sosa

Jose Canseco

Anabolic steroids come in the form of tablets, capsules, a solution for injection and a cream or gel to rub into the skin. Weightlifters and bodybuilders who use steroids often take doses that are up to 100 times greater than those used to treat medical conditions.

Both books mentioned in this episode are real books.

Carrie Originally published: April 5, 1974 Author: Stephen King

The Boy at the Leafs Camp  Originally published: 1963 Author: Scott Young

Fuck - Fight - FERDA! (1:07:20 - 1:28:52)

Fuck:  Dan, the McMurrays (TOGETHER ONLY), Gail, and Tanis

Fight:  The FIRST time we've had NO scraps!!!

FERDA:   Everyone else.

Farewells and Outro:  (1:28:52 - 1:36:31) Next Episode: Great Day for Thunder Bay Artist of the week:  Lizzie Boredom Location:  Dallas, TX

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lizzieboredomband/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/lizzieboredomtx

Instagram: https://instagram.com/lizzieboredom.band

Bandcamp: https://lizzieboredom.bandcamp.com/

Contact: lizzieboredombooking@gmail.com

****************** Intro: Song: Problem Album: Dead Men Can't Catcall Outro: Song: Dead Men Can't Catcall Album: Dead Men Can't Catcall ******************

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[mysamcedesmadness]

So, This is For a Boy?

It has occurred to me that the show hasn't really mentioned how long they've been going in show time. Like, Henry was getting ready to turn 14 when he met Ray, but Jace and Henry can't be the same age today, since Hen's still in school. So, I'ma just treat them as 16ish. That's a good high school sweetheart start for me.

Charlotte was never one for focusing too hard on any boy. She certainly wasn't interested in holding hands, making googly eyes, and... kissing them... on the lips. So, whenever she recognized her feelings for Henry, she tried to remain practical.. you know sensible, as she was apt to be her entire life.

But here she was, on the heels of 16, seeking out a sundress JUST for the sake of looking pretty… for a boy! And not just any boy… HENRY! Of all the boys in the world, her reasonable mind chose Henry? How and why was she here? 

She frowned, thumbing through the sizes. It appeared that she was going to have to go to the kiddie section in this store. She sighed. "What are you doing here?" She asked herself. Well, let's see…

The other day, in the Man Cave, Ray and Jasper casually talked about how it was officially sundress season and teased Henry for not being able to participate. "Henry can participate all he wants," she said, coolly. She was confident and secure that girls in sundresses wasn't going to be their collapse.

He chuckled nervously and assured her, "I'm not interested in looking at other girls just because they're cute and showing some skin. Sundresses are overrated." And she just knew by his tone that was a lie, but whatever. He could be fake sometimes.

Jasper suggested, "Ooh, Charlotte! You should get some sundresses! I'd bet Henry'll like that!" Charlotte barely had a moment to consider it.

Henry kindly told him, "Char's not changing her wardrobe to impress some dude, Bro. Sundress season isn't a deal breaker for me. I knew who I was getting with."

Now, she heard the record scratch. "What does that mean?" She wondered.

He shrugged, "You're like one of the guys. I'm dating my friend not like, you know.. a girl-girl."

"So.. dating me is what, like if you were dating Jasper?"

Jasper chimed in, "No way! I'm definitely showing some skin! You guys should see the crop tops I ordered. I've even got a couple of romphims for Spring Break."

"I'm sorry, what?" Charlotte asked at the same time that Henry said, "Not sure I want to see that."

Then Henry finished with, "I just mean that you're not caught up in trying to be pretty or cute or hot or anything like that, which is attractive in it's own way…" which to her sounded like nothing short of "You are none of those things." She just nodded.

Now, she's in this store for women, feeling silly because her size doesn't have anything to fit what she was trying to do. She decided to just leave, to be honest.

On her way out, she bumped into Bianca and Chloe. "Charlotte!" Bianca cheered. "You remember Henry's friend Charlotte, right?" She awkwardly waved at them both. "Charlotte, I didn't know that you came to the mall."

"I was trying to find a sundress, but my size wasn't actually in there. I may have to just make something."

"You were trying to shop for a sundress???"

Chloe said, shocked.

"Yeah. I can be pretty and cute and hot too, thank you very much!" Both girls eyes widened.

"Of course, Charlotte. You're totally all of those things, just like you are. Are you just looking for a change? Because you're about my size, so I probably have sundresses you can borrow, if you just need it for an event or something." Chloe offered.

Bianca waved a hand and shook her head, "No. That clapback was definitely meant for somebody she's trying to prove something to." Bianca gasped. "What if we do a makeover?"

"I love makeovers," Chloe said.

"I don't want or need a makeover. I don't even want the sundress anymore. I just want people to stop suggesting that I can't pull off the look. I can pull off any look."

"And you don't have to prove it!" Chloe cheered.

"Dang straight!" Charlotte said back… "But, can I borrow a sundress? I really just want throw it in their faces!"

"Whose faces? Your parents?" Bianca asked.

"No. The guys. Henry and Jasper and the men we work with. Hen said that I'm "one of the guys." What kind of thing is that to say about your girrr-bestfriend?"

"Henry's never been too bright when it comes to girls," Bianca said. "Sweet guy, but often sticks his huge foot into his mouth."

Chloe just rolled her eyes, "Or straight up lies to you. I don't know how you've been friends with him for so long. He usually flakes on everyone by now."

"Well, he sees her as one of the boys," Bianca said with a shrug, but something caught Charlotte's attention. "If she was like a girl-girl, he'd probably have flaked by now… Charlotte, what are you staring at?"

"See that short set that kinda looks like a dress?" They went to the store and eyed the floral crop top with matching shorts. "If I wore this with a pair of suspenders, knee socks and sneaker boots, think it'd be cute?"

"Everything you wear is cute," both girls said.

"Think it'd shut the boys up?"

"Try it on and we can answer that better," Bianca said, knowing FULL WELL Charlotte was gonna kill it in that outfit. She could put a Fred Lobster mascot head on and still werk it.

She came out of the dressing room and both of the girls faces told her: I'm definitely that girl. They praised her and they waited as she bought it to wear out. They hung out for a while and really, Char was gonna go home, throw that outfit in a drawer and maybe someday mix and match wear it with jeans or leggings and alter it here and there. She didn't know why she needed to just see someone see her like the obviously attractive girl she was, but hey - it happens to the best of us. She felt better just by having showed off in front of these two girls.

They were laughing and talking about the spring dance whenever Chloe gasped and said, "Kid Danger is here!" She grabbed the arms of her company and rushed over to see Captain Man and Kid Danger, in action up close. Charlotte tried to hide behind the two girls, but at some point, he most definitely saw her… and he saw her. She smiled awkwardly as Captain Man collected their mannequin parts thief and Kid Danger stared at her a little too long.

"Excuse me Kid Danger," Bianca said. He just now noticed her… and Chloe. Charlotte had been all that he saw for a full two minutes. Was she here with them? What was happening right now?

"Yes, Citizen?"

She laughed, "Do you not remember me?" She wondered for a moment, then waved a hand, "Nevermind. We were wondering if you could settle something for our friend here."

"This isn't necessary. Kid Danger is super busy…"

Bianca continued, "Charlotte's friends and coworkers think that she's not pretty, cute, or hot! Weigh in." Charlotte looked around for an exit to run out of.

Kid Danger squinted at her and said, "I'm positive that nobody's ever said that to this girl."

"Because she's all that, yeah?" Bianca asked, nodding her head.

"She's more than that.. " he looked her over again and cleared his throat, "She's a Swellview scholar. I've seen in the news.. spelling bees and gizmo fairs… and yes, certainly she's all that, as you put it. I'd ask her out, but I'm certain a girl like this has a boyfriend."

Chloe offered, "She'll dump him!" Kid Danger's eyes widened and Charlotte laughed uncomfortably, then made a run for that exit she spotted. "Or not," Chloe said.

He wanted to chase her, but he had to catch up to Ray and they got another call en route.

.

By the time Henry made it to Charlotte's, she was in her nightclothes with her hair tied up and getting ready to put on her bonnet for the night. He knocked on the window and she jumped. She was more nervous than a few weeks ago when she was having kissing dreams about him. She opened the window and wince smiled. "We think you're not pretty, cute, or hot? Was that a joke?"

"I never said that. Not flat out like that. But come on Henry. How did you think I was supposed to take all the," (she deepened her voice to imitate him), "You don't care about trying to be pretty. That's attractive in it's own way. I knew who I was getting.." she held out her hands, "It SOUNDS LIKE you knew you were getting some unattractive girl who you really like because you're cool with her."

"I feel like my reaction to you on our first date established that wasn't the case."

"That was weeks ago and also something that I didn't choose to wear. It wasn't me! The me that I am, you…" she folded her arms, "you sounded like you're settling for my looks or something. When I'm actually superbad if I throw on something cute."

"You're superbad in whatever, Char. However what I said, I was actually trying to compliment you on never feeling like you have to impress anybody. I didn't mean to make you feel any other way but proud of being you."

"You were definitely lying about sundress season, though."

"Yes, because nobody in their right mind tells their girl that they want her to wear anything that she doesn't want to wear. Likewise, no dude with a super hot girlfriend wants her to not wear a sundress. Sundresses are amazing and you're beautiful. You'd turn me into literally a useless pile if you ever wore one. I could hardly concentrate on anything seeing you in that bikini suit today."

"It was a short set."

"Well.. it was awesome. You looked all the things that you for some reason thought I implied that you weren't. You were all that."

"I want for everybody to stop saying "all that."

"I didn't start it. Call Bianca and tell her the 90s didn't approve of that loan." She laughed. "Why were you with Bianca and Chloe?"

"I just ran into them."

"I thought there was an uprising."

She laughed. "Hey..  if I ever make you feel some kind of way…"

"I didn't set out to vent to these girls about you. I honestly was just looking for something to make me feel pretty and maybe rub it in your face. I feel really silly, if that helps."

"I feel silly. I had no idea what I said could have been taken that way. I dream about you every night. You're always pretty and it's always hot." She pursed her lips, but she was blushing. "Instead of pressing those together, you wanna press those against me?" She smiled as Henry moved in for a kiss. He made a moaning sound and asked, against her lips, "Where's that outfit from earlier?"

"Goodnight, Henry!" She gave him one more kiss, then shut the window on him. A few minutes later she got a screenshot texted to her of an edit to his contacts. He put her info under Pretty Cute & Hot. The smile on her face hurt her cheeks. How did Henry Hart get into my system like this?

[douxreviews]

Pride and Prejudice - ‘Episode 1′ Review

“For a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife.”

In which we meet the Bennets, the Bennets meet the Bingleys and their friend Mr. Darcy, Jane catches a cold, and Elizabeth takes a walk. Contains spoilers.

The 1995 BBC miniseries production of Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice is considered by many fans (including this one) to be the quintessential screen version of the beloved novel. It is perfect, or very nearly so, in every detail.

I can’t speak to the effectiveness of the exposition because I know the story so well, but I believe it’s done subtly and rather briefly. The Bennets’ home situation is established quickly. I love that the first shots of the home are of a shrieking argument over a hat. Life with the Bennets is hectic and none too relaxing. The family hierarchy is shown in a matter of moments. Jane and Elizabeth are the oldest, the most responsible, and the calmest. Kitty and Lydia are the youngest, the loudest, and the silliest. Mary is a stick in the mud who is mostly ignored by everyone. Mrs. Bennet seems to hate the crazed atmosphere of her home, but does nothing to control it, while Mr. Bennet tries to avoid everyone as much as possible. Lydia is her mother’s favorite, Elizabeth is her father’s favorite. Jane and Elizabeth are best friends, as are Kitty and Lydia. Mr. and Mrs. Bennet are not quite the picture of marital bliss.

The Bennets’ financial straits are also speedily communicated. Although they are not poor, the entail of the estate means that the Bennets will be poor after Mr. Bennet’s death unless they are provided for in another way, such as by marriage. At the moment, they have as much money as they need for servants, horses, carriages, and new gowns and hats. It is only the future that is in flux. Knowing all this, Mrs. Bennet has become obsessed with marrying off her daughters as quickly as possible and to the richest men possible. While her motives may seem mercenary to us today, there was no other financial recourse for women of that class besides marriage. They were too rich to work and too poor to have very wealthy relations.

Our first glimpse of Miss Elizabeth Bennet is out on a walk. Elizabeth’s walks coincide with several major plot developments, including one in this episode. Her walking also sets her apart from the other characters. The only others frequently shown walking are Kitty and Lydia and they only walk to Meryton to visit the officers. Elizabeth generally walks for her own amusement. Miss Bingley and Mrs. Hurst are astonished at Elizabeth’s love of walking, and even Jane, the character with whom Lizzy has most in common, seems to prefer to stay indoors.

Elizabeth is an unusual sort of woman for the time. Although she respects society’s rules and edicts and never shows bad manners, she does have a way of pushing the boundaries of society. She is not rude or at all unseemly, but she is playful in the way she talks to others, even her social superiors. This will most clearly be seen in later episodes when she deals with Lady Catherine de Bourgh. Even here, we see her challenge Mr. Darcy and Miss Bingley on their idea of the accomplished young lady and tease Darcy about his resentful temper.

Elizabeth is indeed different. When invited to visit Netherfield, Jane asks to borrow the carriage. When Elizabeth decides to tend to her sister at Netherfield, she is offered the carriage but chooses instead to walk, despite the muddy countryside. While her behavior is not improper, it is just a hair unusual. Her so-called “conceited independence” sets her apart from her peers. One could argue that this is precisely what draws Darcy’s attention to her. Unlike Miss Bingley, who is consistently throwing herself at him, Elizabeth does not seem to care what he thinks of her. He watches her recount his insult of her to Charlotte Lucas with interest. His comment was rude and cruel, but Elizabeth finds it funny and not emotionally devastating.

It is also quickly established that Elizabeth is decidedly not a woman on the hunt for a husband. Her conversation with Jane shows that she is in no rush to get married, nor is she likely to accept just any man who makes her an offer. This is important for the story. Had Elizabeth been more like her friend Charlotte Lucas, her later romance with Darcy would have taken on an entirely different flavor.

The miniseries has a lot to boast about. A huge amount of its dialogue was taken directly from Austen’s pages, for instance. There are parts you can literally follow along in the book. To my thinking, the best thing about the show is Colin Firth. Not just because he’s a solid actor and ridiculously handsome (cf. 30 Rock “The man can wear a sweater”), but because he absolutely nails the character of Fitzwilliam Darcy in a way no actor has done before or since.

It’s true, he owes a lot to the script. Regardless of performance, this Darcy is the closest to Austen’s vision of the character. The show is ungenerous with Mr. Darcy. Other versions omit many of Darcy’s disparaging comments about Elizabeth and her family given during his evenings with the Bingleys. Whether this is done for time or to soften the character is anyone’s guess. The miniseries pulls no punches and, if it weren’t for that handsome face, Darcy would be absolutely detestable for the first half of the miniseries. That is as it should be.

As in other versions, Darcy’s attraction to Elizabeth is clear from early on, but that attraction does not soften his demeanor nor his treatment of her. He’s far from the flirty Darcy we see in 1940 and from the cold but quiet Darcy of 2005. Firth’s Darcy is snobbish and disapproving, or at least he appears so thus far.

Historical Context:

It’s hard to compare incomes in the 1800s to what they are today. The best estimate I could find is that Bingley’s £5,000 a year translates roughly to £150,000-200,00 ($250,00-$300,000). The cost of things has changed so much that this really doesn’t give us much of an idea of Bingley’s wealth. Compare Bingley’s income to that of the mother in Sense and Sensibility, who is able to support herself and her three daughters, maintain a comfortable, if rented, home and employ three servants with £500 a year. In any estimation, Bingley is very wealthy. As for Mr. Darcy, with his £10,000 and lavish estate, he can easily be placed as one of the one or two hundred richest men in England.

The militia was the part of the army responsible for home defense. The novel occurs during the Napoleonic Wars (1800-1815), when an invasion was greatly feared. Militias like the one we see here left their military posts in the winter and took up residence in a town because there was less chance of a French invasion.

Bits & Pieces:

Jennifer Ehle and Colin Firth have great chemistry. They actually dated for a short time during production.

Susannah Harper (Jane) was pregnant during filming. Thanks to the empire waisted costumes, her pregnancy is hardly discernible. It is most obvious in the scenes in her bedroom, which were filmed later. There, shawls were strategically draped over her bump.

In my opinion, harlequin Great Danes are by far the classiest of dogs.

Although the American Ehle’s accent is good, she slips a bit when her mother visits her at Netherfield and she asks her if she’s seen Charlotte Lucas.

Anna Chancellor (Caroline Bingley) is a direct descendant of one of Jane Austen’s brothers.

Favorite Moments:

Any time Darcy makes a comment about Elizabeth’s “fine eyes” and Miss Bingley reacts to it.

Darcy’s commenting that truly accomplished women read extensively as he watches Elizabeth read and Miss Bingley loiter. In a later drawing room scene, you can catch her holding (but still not reading) a book. I wonder what inspired that...

The way Darcy looks at Elizabeth. It makes me melt.

Colin Firth in the bathtub. I’m sure you could have guessed that one.

Elizabeth and Miss Bingley’s “turn about the room” and Darcy’s comments about it.

sunbunny

[peaskyblonders]

Gangsters [2]

A lot of backstory to Charlotte's character in this chapter, Enjoy!!

2466 words, I'm terribly sorry.

Charlotte stirred in her bed as she slept, her nightdress sticking to her skin and sweat making its way down her back and forehead. The nightmares were recurring, they never seemed to leave her, no matter where she went. They always followed her.

She could see fellow soldiers next to her, she took a deep breath as Padraig Pearse read the proclamation outside of the GPO. She fiddled with the gun in her hand as she stood next to one of the leaders. She had to remind herself she was doing this for the good of her country, people were relying on her. This was the start of the war.

As Pearse finished she got herself positioned, waiting for British soldiers to arrive. If they wouldn't give Ireland their independence, then Ireland will come get it themselves. She could hear the sounds of their horses on the concrete, she peeked out of the window quickly and could already tell they were outnumbered, but it was too late to back out now, there was too much at stake. She looked towards Padraig and waited for him to give them the signal to start firing, saying a silent prayer in her head when she briefly closed her eyes.

She quickly rose up from her squatting position when it was shown. Immediately moving towards the window and firing at the British, moving out the way every few seconds to catch her breath. Turning back around she felt a sharp pain in her shoulder. She screamed in agony as she looked around the building, seeing her fellow soldiers and some leaders on the floor. She turned around and continued to fire, ignoring the blood dripping down her shoulder. She had tears in her eyes and couldn't see where she was firing, only stopping when she heard a woman scream. Her head shot up as she noticed a civilian on the floor, a bullet in their stomach, staring at her direction in horror.

Charlotte shot up from her bed, tears in her eyes and the familiar feeling of guilt in her stomach. She tried so hard to remove the image of the woman from her mind, but she continuously failed. She looked at the pocket watch on the side of her bed and read the time. 6h00s. She ran her hands over her face and climbed out of her bed. She dunked her head into a bucket of cold water and quickly got dressed, putting her riding boots and coat on before leaving her house. She locked the door quickly and looked across the street. She saw one of her men watching her house from the door of a shop but chose to ignore him.

She lit a cigarette as she made her way to the black car parked outside of one of her neighbours' houses. Charlotte banged her fist on the top of the car, waking up her driver, who upon seeing Charlotte apologized furiously.

Charlotte shut him up as she raised her hand. "The stables" she spoke as she blew out a puff of smoke. Her driver nodded his head and started the car. The car ride was silent. The memory of the 1916 Rising replaying in Charlotte's mind.

------------

Charlotte allowed the horse to bring her wherever she wanted, she needed time to clear her head before any of her men saw her like this. She needed to be collected each time they saw her, she was essentially their leader. Upon seeing people walking around the streets she decided it was time to bring the horse back to the stables and begin her day. She had work to be done, she needed to calculate the books and research the buyers interested in the horse.

That made her start thinking about Mr Thomas Shelby, she didn't know if she trusted him enough to buy her horse. He seemed like a well-calculated man, but he didn't seem capable of loving himself, let alone a horse and Charlotte always found the best buyers for her horses, she believed they were beautiful and intelligent creatures and as a result needed to be treated like it.

Charlotte was too focused on reaching the stables before 8h30 that she didn't notice Thomas Shelby watching her from afar, he was impressed with how graceful she looked on top of the horse, he also noticed how beautiful the horse was and how similar it seemed to the one John was describing to him the other day. He pursed his lips as he put out his cigarette and walked back into the betting shop, continuing on with his days' work.

Thomas was walking towards his office when a man stopped him. "You don't happen to know the odds of tonight's race d'ya?" the man had short black hair and an Irish accent. Thomas stared blankly at the man.

"Shit sorry" the Irish man spoke as he pulled his hand out of his pocket. "I'm Wayne, don't really know how this betting thing works" he rambled on. He placed his hand back into his pocket when Thomas didn't shake his hand. Thomas was about to tell him that he could either bet on a horse or get lost when John suddenly approached them, he slapped his hands on Wayne's shoulders and grinned at Thomas.

"Tommy we've got loads of money from people betting today, tell the poor sod who's gonna win and let him bet a little on it" he spoke. Wayne smirked. So the rumours are true, the Shelbys do actually fix races. Interesting.

A few moments later Wayne walked out of the betting shop with a slip in his hand and a grin on his face. Bunch of idiots he thought to himself as he made his way towards Charlotte's house, where they were all to meet up at 9h00s.

----------

Charlotte strolled into her house and was immediately greeted by most of her men. "Ok let's get this started. Speak," she demanded as she lit her cigarette and paced around her living room.

"Your accounts seem to be calculated correctly"

Charlotte scoffed "As they always are"

"The IRA want to know how you're getting on"

"Remind me to write to them" she replied as she inspected her nails.

"I joined the Peaky Blinders"

"You joined the Peaky what now?" Charlotte stopped walking as she looked at one of her close friends, James. He shrugged as he continued. "Its a good place for information," he said nonchalantly.

Charlotte was about to protest to his stupid idea when Wayne spoke up. "He's right, they fix races, Lottie. If we can form some type of business with them, we can get lots of money. They're also a family! I met Thomas' brother today in their betting shop-" "Why were you in Shelby's betting shop?"

"Not important. But what is important is that families are hard to take down, so we might as well form an alliance with them" Wayne stated, fellow men, nodding their heads in agreement. "Families may be hard to take down, but when they do get taken down they either stay down or a war breaks out. Do you really think you're ready for another war, Wayne? " Charlotte argued, raising her eyebrow and crossing her hands, her cigarette between her lips.

"I think you should trust me on this, we'll be stronger united with the Peaky Blinders than we would be on our own and that's a fact" Wayne stated as he cocked his head to the side, trying to read the expression on Charlotte's face. "I can't have any of you lads getting hurt, you came here with me and I'm not about to lose any of yous because of the Peaky Blinders"

"We're strong men, Lottie" one of the men shouted from the couch, the rest shouting in agreement.

"If I remember correctly, we came here for you, you didn't force us- but we still came, because we're loyal to you and if you don't think we'd risk our lives for you, well you need a wake-up call" James spoke as he stood up. "Now I recall you coming here to speak to a certain inspector"

"Has anyone actually seen that inspector?" Charlotte wondered. "He's at the Garrison tonight, gonna be looking for Thomas" James spoke and smirked when Charlotte furrowed her eyebrows at him. "What? The peaky boys talk"

"Let's go to the Garrison boys, I think we have some unfinished business to attend to" Charlotte grinned as she changed into some heals and applied her lipstick before heading out the door, 10 of her men following slowly behind her, James, Rogers and Wayne by her side.

------------

Charlotte strutted into the Garrison for the second day in a row, there were fewer people in the pub this time considering it was still early in the morning, but she did immediately spot Inspector Campbell and Thomas sitting at the bar. The inspector spotted her also, gulping heavily when she started making her way towards him.

"Inspector how lovely to see you" she spoke sarcastically, she turned towards Thomas and greeted him briefly, before turning all her attention towards the Inspector. Thomas looked at her with curiosity, pondering how she could possibly know the inspector. "I believe we have some unfinished business to discuss, hmm?" she continued. This intrigued Thomas even more, he couldn't come up with an idea of how they could possibly know each other, were they an item before? Possibly. Charlotte seemed like she had better taste in men though.

Charlotte took the inspector's silence as a sign to continue. "If I remember correctly, during our last encounter I had placed a knife in your shoulder after you tried to rape me. Does this ring any bells?" Charlotte flipped her hair behind her shoulder as she glared at the inspector. She leaned in towards him, not caring that Thomas was sitting to her right. She needed this confrontation.

"Yes, well I recall you liking the plan until it actually happened" the inspector scoffed. His comment made Charlotte's blood boil. "You never mentioned anything about using me for your pleasure. I only happened to find out what a sick bastard you are when you started to make advances towards me!" she practically growled as she took a step closer to him. She poked her finger in his chest and looked him dead in the eye. "Now if I hear you've even thought about laying a hand on a woman, I won't hesitate to track you and kill you myself. I don't care if the lady is a whore if she doesn't want you to touch her and not like I'd blame her- then don't. Women deserve to be treated like ladies regardless. But you, on the other hand, deserve to be treated like the piece of shit that you are" She then dug her heel into his foot. "Do I make myself clear, Inspector?"

The inspector nodded, his face turning a bright red colour, Charlotte removed her foot and nodded towards the door, where she knew her men were waiting for him. "Get the fuck out of my sight"

The inspector rushed to the door, not once looking back at Charlotte.

Charlotte sat down where the inspector had previously been sitting, she lit her cigarette and inhaled deeply, she then faced Thomas, who was looking at her with a look that she couldn't recognise.

" I apologize for my behaviour, I slept for six hours today, which is double the amount I usually sleep so I'm quite disoriented" Thomas' shook his head at her statement, and suddenly remembered the horse she was riding earlier.

"I've been thinking, and I'm guessing your business has something to do with horses" Thomas stated, never once taking his eyes off the brunette who sat in front of him, she was unlike any girl he had met before, it was fascinating. It also worried him, the encounter he just witnessed had shocked him. He figured Charlotte was troubled, but so was he.

Charlotte laughed, a sound that Thomas enjoyed. "Yes, I train them. I'm actually looking for someone to buy one, you don't happen to know somebody interested do you?" she asked innocently. "I am, but I'd have to see the horse up close. The Peaky Blinders are hoping to get involved with racing" Thomas says before placing a cigarette between his lips and lighting it.

"I'm sure that can be arranged, Thomas" Charlotte answered, crossing her legs and looking towards the barmaid, she noticed her watching herself and Thomas eagerly but paid no attention to it, she didn't have the time nor the energy to deal with irrelevant people.

"So, I'm guessing that's what your business is? Dealing with horses, training and selling them?" Thomas inquired, leaning closer to her so she could hear him.

"The majority of it yes" She spoke, throwing her finished cigarette into Thomas' glass of whiskey, which he chose to ignore.

Thomas raised his eyebrows. "The majority?"

Charlotte turned her body towards Thomas. "You're not the only one with secrets, Mr Shelby. Everybody has their own little skeletons in the closet. They're what makes life a bit more exciting" she spoke slowly, the quietness of her voice and their close proximity made the conversation they were having more intense, more intimate, and of course, she could feel the barmaids eyes on her, but that's what made it even better.

Thomas raised his eyebrows at her "I'll be the one to meet with you to see the horse." He stated, changing the topic of their conversation. He didn't trust her enough to allow any of the family or any of his men to be alone with her. He only knew her name and part of her business but was determined to find out more.

"I'm free whenever you are" Charlotte responded.

An idea suddenly popped into Thomas' head, and he just couldn't stop the words from coming out of his mouth. "How about now?"

Charlotte's eyes widened a fraction but she quickly composed herself before Thomas had the chance to notice. "Off we go then, Thomas"

Thomas stood up from his stool and brushed the dust off his jacket as he looked back towards Charlotte who was also stepping off her chair. She grabbed another cigarette out of her pocket and went to look for a lighter. Thomas chuckled at her habit and quickly grabbed his lighter out of his front pocket and took a step towards her to light it for her, he was almost certain she could feel his breath on her neck. "Call me Tommy" he spoke as he lit the cigarette, looking into her eyes when he was finished.

"I'll call you what I want, Thomas," she says giving him a cheeky wink before walking out of the pub, with a Thomas Shelby following behind her, the tiniest smile present on his face

Tags: @asfaraslifegets @magical-mischief-makers

[reconditarmonia]

Dear Yuletide Author

Edit 3:10pm Eastern Time 10/23/18: All prompts added now, thank you for your patience.

Hello, lovely writer!

I’m reconditarmonia here and on AO3 (and have been since LJ days, but my LJ is locked down and I only have a DW to see locked things). I have anon messaging off, but mods should be able to contact me if you have any questions.

Far From the Madding Crowd | Harlots | Monstrous Regiment | Simoun | Spinning Silver

General likes:

– Relationships that aren’t built on romance or attraction. They can be romantic or sexual as well, but my favorite ships are all ones where it would still be interesting or compelling if the romantic component never materialized.

– Loyalty kink, whether commander-subordinate or comrades-in-arms, and the trust associated with it. Sometimes-but-not-always relatedly, idealism. I guess the two combined might be, in general, the idea of nobility of character and what that means.

– Heists, or other stories where there’s a lot of planning and then we see how the plan goes.

– Femslash, complicated or intense relationships between women, and female-centric gen. Women doing “male” stuff.

– Stories whose emotional climax or resolution isn’t the sex scene, if there is one.

– Uniforms/costumes/clothing.

– Stories, history, and performance. What gets told and how, what doesn’t get told or written down, behavior in a society where everyone’s consuming media and aware of its tropes, how people create their personas and script their own lines.

– Eucatastrophe.

General DNW: rape/dubcon, torture, other creative gore; unrequested AUs, including “same setting, different rules” AUs such as soulmates/soulbonds; PWP; food sex; focus on pregnancy; Christmas/Christian themes.

—

Fandom: Far From the Madding Crowd

Character(s): Bathsheba Everdene

One thing that always sticks in my mind about this novel is the way Hardy calls Bathsheba “the young farmer” just as he refers to the men as farmers - which, just saying, is more than most people writing about this story can do - and so, that being the case, what I’m most interested in is something about Bathsheba as farmer. One day in the life or four seasons in the life or five plantings/harvests in the life, or pseudo-academic fic about a case study of a woman farmer in the Victorian era, or a conflict between the farm and nature that Bathsheba has to decide how to solve.

Feel free to bring in other characters if it suits what you’re trying to do, but what I’m really looking for is a focus on Bathsheba’s work, determination, and process of learning. Other ideas: something like a merchant ship AU (as the first alternate setting that came to mind where it would be not exactly the done thing for her to captain her inherited ship and make commercial decisions herself - although I do have to point out that contrary to popular belief, there were a lot of women on shipboard in the age of sail, may this be useful - but also where nature and luck/fate are as influential as they are in the original setting); something in which the land, superstition, and ritual are more overtly magical; or interactive fiction!

—

Fandom: Harlots

Character(s): Margaret Wells

So Harlots almost immediately became one of my favorite shows of all time, for its strong and complex female characters, all major plots/conflicts being between women, and the feminist ethos informing both the filming (with this premise there could have been a LOT of actress nudity and titillating rape, in other hands) and the writing - I find the scene in s2 where Margaret leads the crowd in turning their backs on Nancy’s whipping very moving, because it’s one moment that emphasizes that the show’s feminism isn’t just “look, horrible things happening to women, whatcha gonna do” but instead thinks about the next step of women supporting each other against the system. (Kitty’s thoughts about a collective are another one.) I wasn’t sure at first what I wanted to request here, but starting to explain for you why I like the show made me think wherever you take the idea of writing about Margaret, I’d want to see her in the context of other women. This could be pre-canon (I’m not particularly interested in very young Margaret, but Margaret beginning to establish her own house, hiring her own girls for the first time, and contending with Lydia Quigley as a rival, I’d love to see; or deciding to move to Greek Street?) or post-canon (who does she meet? what does she do???) She’s such a powerful character but also so morally ambivalent - what kinds of positions can you put her in where she has to choose how or whether to protect those under her authority, or further her own ambition and that of the people she chooses? What is loyalty, anyway? (I'd be up for post-canon fic with her and Charlotte, but I don’t think I would want to read an expansion of her selling Charlotte in the canon backstory.) Throw in anyone you like if that helps you tell the story - it’s such a good ensemble show.

If you, like me, ship Margaret with Nancy and were psyched when they got to kiss and Nancy told Charlotte she loved Margaret, I have some prompts for the ship in a previous letter. TL;DR: I’m especially interested in Margaret/Nancy as partners-as-family and what that means to them, and in how Margaret fits into Nancy’s relationship to intimacy.

If you’d prefer to write this instead of writing about Margaret, I would also be 100% just as happy with fic about the whole fucked-up relationship between Charlotte and Lydia in season 2 (I LOVE “ultra-loyal and beloved henchman secretly plotting revenge” plots, their scenes together are so good! I was sorry that that plot didn’t carry on for longer - honestly, you could write a canon divergence AU where the secret isn’t revealed so soon and Charlotte becomes more and more compromised and I would be delighted), something focusing on either of those two individually (pre-canon Lydia setting up her house? choosing her aesthetic? post-canon Lydia manipulating her way out of Bedlam?), or something about Nancy (her lifestyle is so unconventional but it works for her and people around her mostly roll with it). Again, preferably with reference to other women, rather than men.

Something that I really like about the show, which would be neat to see in fic somehow, is that it feels real and lived-in. So many costume dramas feel costumed, but at least to me, the sets and costumes of Harlots feel like houses people live and work in and clothes people wear; we occasionally see a shift under the dress, women put on a fichu over a dress or deal with their corsets, they move like they’re used to wearing this. I love daily-life type history, and people being people in history, so those sorts of details would make me really happy. (I have tags “documents” and  “history” for stuff that might interest you if you also like that sort of thing.) I also really like the moments of theatricality and ritual like Mary Cooper and Kitty Carter’s funeral processions.

Fandom-Specific Exception to DNW: I recognize that rape and dubcon are endemic to the canon and I don’t expect you to avoid all reference to them, but would prefer not to have them described in detail, or to dwell on specific instances.

—

Fandom: Monstrous Regiment

Character(s): Any (Polly “Ozzer” Perks, Maladict, Jackrum, Mildred Froc)

I’m not going to lie, Polly is one of my all-time faves. I like that this could have been a generic coming-of-age or women-in-war story, where the protagonist learns that she’s brave or worthwhile and then the crisis is past, but instead Polly learns that she’s a cunning bastard and a hell of a sergeant, and being a one-off hero in a country that’s at peace and making slow social progress isn’t good enough for her. That said, just because I’m better able to articulate what I like about Polly doesn’t mean I’d be less excited for fic about anyone else! Honestly, one of the things I like best about the story as a whole is the varying degrees of competence porn - people learning what they’re good at and doing it - and that’s something that could apply to any character here. What are they good at? What lets them fulfill their potential? What do they want when their hand isn’t being forced? So, say, how’d Jackrum go from enlisting for Reasons to being the career sergeant of canon? Any other adventures worth recounting? What are Polly or Mal’s long-term plans, since their original goals seemed so short-term - or, what led Froc to enlist and stay? What can Mal do with the intimidating coolness and/or the potential berserker rage?

There’s a lot of potential for romantic and/or platonic loyalty kink with this character set, and I’d love something that went there. Characters rescuing each other from peril, risking themselves (their safety, reputation, position, ethics, secrets, goals, honor) to defend each other (ditto ditto), accomplishing the impossible or sacrificing things without even thinking twice because one trusts the other’s orders or judgment. Or A not going off the leash or into danger to defend B because B said not to (the "call off your dog" thing), to protect A’s conscience or life or reputation. Polly sends Mal on a dangerous mission; Mal goes off-leash rescuing Polly; something about the post-canon rank difference on top of the class difference (Mal is wealthy and cultured and typical commission material and yet is a corporal under Sergeant Perks’s command); Polly protects Jackrum’s secret/s from someone who could reveal them; an expansion of Jackrum and Froc’s backstory; anything about Froc’s whole relationship to the Duchess over the years as one of the few left who met her in person... Or for Polly/Mal in particular, I’d be into high sexual tension and/or mutual pining whether from near (if they continue serving in the same regiment, essentially together all the time and unable to act on it) or from far (what if the job separated them - LDR, epistolary?).

This is a perennial request for me and I have previous letters in the “dear author letters” tag if you’d like more info.

Fandom-Specific DNW: gender headcanons (I'm sorry, I can't figure out the right way to phrase this, but I'm happy to provide clarification via mod question or whatever); vampire romance tropes (such as turning or immortality) as focus.

—

Fandom: Simoun

Character(s): Any (Aeru, Amuria, Dominuura, Halconf, Limone, Mamiina, Neviril, Onasia, Paraietta, Plumbish Priestesses, Rodoreamon, Yun)

Simoun is another one of my perennial requests. I love how, in the mold of all my favorite epic yuri/shoujo animes, Everything Is Beautiful And Then Shit Gets Real, and that's not just an out-of-universe fact of the show but something that the characters themselves, who are "supposed" to be priestesses and not an air force, have to deal with. (Neviril's scene in the hearing is one of my favorites.) I enjoy that everyone comes in for different reasons - religious, patriotic, ambitious, interpersonal, gender-related - and has different ways of solving problems, their very deep flaws but also very deep nobility, and how everyone gets character development in the sense of growing and changing.

I'd love to see something that worked with that military aspect of the canon and the in-story tension of it - if you focus on more than one character, the way that the superior-subordinate dynamics or comrades-in-arms dynamics, and the different ways they behave under pressure (cheerful Aeru when she encounters the downed enemy pilot), sit alongside other dynamics (like Mamiina and Rodoreamon's childhood backstory/class thing) and don't always develop at the same pace, but single-character fic about the choices they have to make and how they think about them, as their situation changes, would be great too. What about more of Yun's backstory, for example? Hell, what's going on in Halconf's life and mind as someone who used to be a sibylla but now has quite a different role in the war as the sibylla position has changed? Or, what about in the post-canon where war is brewing again but Paraietta and Rodoreamon can't fly the Simoun anymore, and Neviril and Aeru might be able to but Neviril has no one to lead, unless it's a whole new crop of maidens? What do they want to do, and what skills are they still able to use? (Feel free to re-unite characters that are separated by canon - resurrect Mamiina, bring characters back from other worlds - if that's what you want to do with the story, although I think I'd prefer for that to be something that's acknowledged in-story as due to magic or alternate worlds rather than tacitly retconned.)

As with some of the other fandoms I've requested, I'm interested in the different permutations of loyalty - loyalty to a position or an ideal over loyalty to a side, such as the Plumbish priestesses'; something fleshing out the chorus's devoted loyalty to and trust in Neviril in a high-stakes situation where she's able to return it; interpersonal loyalty and how that interacts with love, requited or articulated or not (Mamiina and the braid, Paraietta's everything); loyalty that develops before liking or friendship does. Femslash is great, gen is great. This is a fandom where sexual first times would tie into the canon's themes in a lot of ways, if you're interested in writing that. Other things that would be cool: time loops or other timespace play, to go with the magic and timespace warping in the show? Interactive fiction? Have our leads learn more about Argentum and Plumbum and meet people from there?

Fandom-Specific DNW/Exception: I don't need you to retcon the attempted assault(s), but please don't dwell on them. No Dominuura/Limone, please.

—

Fandom: Spinning Silver

Character(s): Miryem Mandelstam

So there's definitely a common theme in a lot of my prompts and it's that I like hard-headed, practical, ambitious women who get into adventures because of, rather than in spite of, those qualities. I really like Miryem's good sense, pride, and rules-lawyering, and the way her power in the world becomes magic power in the Staryk world. In general, I also really like the way the book integrates various fairytales with one another and with the situation of Jews in Eastern Europe. What happens when Miryem is back in the human world, post-canon? I never got the impression that she'd be happy just avoiding the whole question of the town's contempt for her by finding power elsewhere - what's it like if she comes back a queen? (Can she use the mirror from Irina to do an end run around the whole Persephone setup and travel back and forth whenever she wants, and if so, what sorts of plot would make that fun to play with? If not, that's still fine.) Or, what are some adventures in the Staryk world where she could use her Accounting Powers, other than the post-war rebuilding the book talks about? Or tell me more about Miryem practicing Judaism in the Staryk world, and the application of Judaism to that world and those customs that we get some hints of (that's a hell of a diaspora - what would the rabbis think of it?)

I would be delighted by Miryem/Irina. Two queens with very different kinds of power, and different ideas of where their commitment lies - Miryem's to "her people" whether that's her family/other Jews/the Staryk who have bound themselves to her, Irina's to "Lithvas" - and what's consistent with their own ethics to fulfill those commitments. Widow them both and have the ultimate human world-Staryk world power marriage? A more serious rivalshippy thing where you make Miryem and Irina deal with the fact that they're respectively a Jewish queen of a super-powerful magic country and the queen of a largely anti-Semitic country who's not totally free from those beliefs herself? (I should mention that I am explicitly okay with the story touching on anti-Semitism or having anti-Semitism as a central issue.) What about different court traditions, when they visit each other? I would be delighted by Miryem/Wanda. I liked the early development of their relationship and wished we'd had more of that later in the story. How would Wanda's gratitude to Miryem and the Mandelstams play in a land that views gratitude so differently from the human world? Might Wanda's real-world "magic", like the reading and writing Miryem gave her, manifest differently in the Staryk world too? Do you want to go full Tam Lin and have Wanda rescue Miryem from the Staryk world? Would Wanda ever consider converting to Judaism? What if she's less settling into comfortable forest retirement and more becoming a magical gatekeeper of Miryem's land in her own way? I would be delighted by Miryem/f!Staryk Lord! What changes if the otherworldly monarch who claims Miryem's hand, bringing her into a new world of customs unfamiliar to her and power she hasn't known before, is also a woman?

Feel free to include Wanda or Irina even if it's not a femslash story, Tsop or Flek, or anyone else you need. (Rule 63 Mirnatius could also be really interesting, although I know that's potentially a lot to just throw into the background of a story about Miryem, so male Mirnatius or male Staryk Lord are fine too, if they're not the focus of the story.) Or, ignore all the characters, including Miryem, and tell me another fairytale, or combination of fairytales, about the Staryk and the Jews.

Fandom-Specific DNW: I don't need you to retcon Miryem/Staryk or Irina/Mirnatius if you'd rather not (including if you're writing any of the femslash options - plenty of historical royalty had lovers), but I'm not interested in those ships unless genderswapped to f/f, and would not like fic About them.

[ships-sailing-in-the-night]

Lucifer Reveals “The Sinnerman” and Questions What He Truly Desires (x)

This article is a recap and short analysis of 3x09, but they do however bring up some good points.

The little bit we get of The Sinnerman here doesn’t quite help us understand anything about the character; and while that may sound like a cry for all the answers at once, that’s not exactly the problem either. There’s just some confusion as to how to reconcile the menace who lures Lucifer into a trap (though that doesn’t involve him actually trying to do anything other than just contain Lucifer) with the guy who has no plan when he starts a gunfight with the LAPD (other than to just have a gunfight). If there’s a method to his madness—and based on all of this, it is madness—then it isn’t clear to see at all. Which doesn’t exactly track with the warnings from other characters about The Sinnerman and the kind of guy he is.

Plus, considering how much Lucifer has tied his lack of Devil face and his new regenerative angel wings to The Sinnerman, we still don’t even get confirmation on that one. Yes, we get The Sinnerman confirming he knows Lucifer is the Devil (and he knows about the desire thing), and Lucifer even brings up those things when speaking with him… but The Sinnerman simply continues on with his pontification without actually acknowledging these major issues. Is he a walking contradiction? Because that’s a different approach to a villain, but it’s also maddening to try to understand after all the build-up. There is certainly a disturbing terror that comes from the kind of man who would blind himself—without displaying any sense of pain—to avoid letting Lucifer know his true desires. From the kind of man who perfectly orchestrates murders the way he does here. But how is that same man also sloppy enough to leave DNA evidence behind at all of his crime scenes? Keep in mind, he wants to draw Lucifer to the trap, but he just calls him on his cell phone to do that.

The rest of this episode’s plots and character beats are more straightforward in their building (and breaking down) for the future, which is necessary to keep things moving. For starters, there’s the Chloe stuff, both with Lieutenant Pierce and Charlotte Richards. In terms of her relationship with the former, this episode brings the show dangerously close to overplaying the awkwardness of Chloe around Pierce. But once it gets to the stakeout, things settle down and Chloe gets back to reminding the audience she knows what she’s talking about most of the time. The stakeout also brings a couple of Pierce points into context, which is necessary with a character who essentially had to be written off to accommodate some episode rescheduling.

First, there’s the fact that Pierce’s terse reaction to Chloe’s early episode request for a “personal day” wasn’t just an example of him being out to get her: He seriously was behind on work after being in the hospital for as long as he was and was working to catch up on everything, including the calendar to check the schedule. (He basically tells her this in the beginning of the original scene, but he gets to be more cordial about it when they’re on the stakeout.) There’s also the narrative choice of having it be his brother that The Sinnerman killed, instead of going the typical and played out love interest route. That’s an important choice to make if you’re going to go with this kind of backstory, and Lucifer is an aware enough show at this point to know how to handle it. Regardless of who in Pierce’s life was killed, this revelation does allow Chloe to pay her own experience (confronting her father’s murderer) forward to Pierce as they discuss what he’s going to do when he finally catches The Sinnerman. It’s a moment that’s certainly a far better use of the character than her awkward interactions with Pierce, although her moment of ogling him carrying a desk is perfectly understandable.

As for Chloe and Charlotte, their interactions in this episode serve as a reminder of why Charlotte’s road to redemption with the LAPD crew isn’t going to be as easy as she wants it to be. And it’s not just because she defended high-profile criminals, since even with her missing time, she knows that’s something she did before. What Charlotte doesn’t know are the specific reasons why Chloe and company take that so personally. It’s easy to conflate so many things about “Charlotte” into why Chloe has problems with her, but this episode reminds us all of the reason Chloe is not a member of the Charlotte Richards’ Redemption fan club: “Charlotte” defended Chloe’s father’s murderer and got him out of prison. She also used Dan to help her do so and went after the Chloe/Lucifer relationship in the process. Lucifer of course knows it wasn’t the real Charlotte Richards who did those things, so he’s on her side. But for the rest of them, there’s no reason to be on her side or to believe that this whole redemption thing is legit.

However, Dan being the one to give Charlotte the men’s bathroom pep talk is still important, not just because of their weird relationship but because of Dan’s past as a crooked cop. I’ve written a lot about how the show worked a miracle in redeeming and rehabilitating the character, but it truly matters that it remembers and acknowledges how he wasn’t always such a great guy. So for Dan to use his own bad guy past to prove to Charlotte that she’s not a lost cause—redemption’s just a lot of work and doesn’t come with gold stars—that means a lot for both characters.

Then you have Linda and Amenadiel, who are also doing their best work together and slowly realizing that. They’ve been spending a lot of time together lately, confiding in each other and getting through their own existential crises side-by-side. They’ve had to be each other’s best friends, because it’s not like Maze has been around (she got banned in Ohio!) or Amenadiel has been talking to Lucifer. But “The Sinnerman” asks, would it be such a bad thing if they were more than friends? Given the weight Linda feels by being the one human completely in on all this celestial stuff, it makes sense that she would gravitate to someone who she won’t have to hide it from. And given Amenadiel’s outsider status when it comes to humanity—a point he explains in this episode—it also makes sense that he would gravitate to the one human who doesn’t make him feel like an outsider at all. Really, where the trouble with this pairing comes is in the return of the Maze.

Not only is Maze the one who technically gets them to confront and confirm their feelings for each other, she’s the only one who has a problem with it. A really big problem, as she spends the majority of her return desperate to vent to Lucifer about it. Thankfully, “The Sinnerman” makes clear that Maze’s motivation here isn’t so much jealousy due to broken “girl code” as it is her not wanting to be left out of things. It also shows just how much things have changed from season one to now, as it even makes sense that she doesn’t want Amenadiel back—she just doesn’t want to be the third wheel to her best friend and her ex. Just in the scene between the three of them, the way Amenadiel and Linda go on about the “Angel School” concept and how amused they are by it: They’re already doing the couples exclusion thing, without even being a couple. (“Angel School” is funny, but it’s not that funny, you know?) We just saw Maze choose her family and life in LA over a guy she really connected with. So what would it say to her if Linda chose Amenadiel despite her valid protestation?

“The Sinnerman” is an episode of questions. Not all of them are as frustrating as the questions about The Sinnerman himself, but all of them make an interesting set-up for the next episode. Especially Maze’s hair, which isn’t so much a question as it is a bold statement. However, as confusing as The Sinnerman’s entire existence comes off here, it’s impossible to deny Kevin Carroll’s performance throughout this episode. Specifically in the scene where he’s literally acting against Tom Ellis from within a monitor. That scene alone promises something fascinating with this Sinnerman story, even if it’s still unclear what it all means. A bizarre, demented game of chess, perhaps, as Lucifer struggles to find The Sinnerman’s weakness and/or his motivation. All of this is building to next week’s midseason finale, and that’s exactly what this plot feels like: a lot of building. What it’s building to is the final question.

Stray observations

Lucifer and Amenadiel made jokes about it, but Linda was asking some good questions about angels’ abilities and how who gets which one.

I appreciate that you could tell Joey wanted to be “a Scarface for millennials” before Lucifer even said it because of all the tacky art on his walls.

Pierce: “He kills for power and influence. Taunting a nightclub owner seems petty. Small.” It’s understandable that Pierce thinks Lucifer is just a vain idiot, but you’d think he’d at least realize or acknowledge that Lucifer is a man with a lot of power and influence in Los Angeles. He uses that power and influence mostly to party, but it still exists.

I’m actually starting to get onboard the “Pierce is shifty” train of thought with this episode. Despite the heart-to-heart with Chloe and his struggling as he pointed his gun at The Sinnerman, the moment that sticks out to me is when he swoops in to confirm to Chloe that The Sinnerman is real. Remember, when he approached Lucifer about it, he made him swear not to share the information with Chloe (because she has a kid). Now all of a sudden he’s just confirming it’s totally real—making Lucifer look bad for keeping something from her, even though he didn’t want to—and not thinking about that whole kid thing, because it’s a “need to know basis only.” (Ships: this part especially I was like, “ok dude you only did that to make it look like Lucifer was hiding things from Chloe again.”)

On the other hand, Lucifer continues to be disappointed whenever Pierce ends up helping Chloe, but Lucifer is the one who keeps bailing in the middle of cases to do his own thing in the first place.

Surprisingly, Franky The Knife is quite an interesting character for just being a “mob guy.” The story about Joey actually being good at his work for the mob—and them taking to him like true family—is strangely touching, given the whole mob thing. And the fact that Joey used his favor from Lucifer to join the mob. Lucifer sure knows how to make the oddest things sentimental. 

Nice job, Tricia Helfer: When Chloe tells Pierce she needs Charlotte, Charlotte is trying (and failing) to drink the terrible LAPD coffee. That’s the taste of public service, Charlotte.

Charlotte: “You expected me to fail, didn’t you? Why didn’t you just trust me with the truth?” Chloe: “Charlotte, you know the things you’ve done. You know the reasons I can’t true you.” Charlotte: “I suppose… I do.” I wonder if Charlotte will look through her cases from her soul sabbatical—really look through them—and realize what she did to Chloe. Because I can’t imagine she’s put two and two together.

Lucifer: “Oh, also, it’s Lucifer.” As though Amenadiel would assume another British man would ring him up and call him “Brother.” Obviously the brothers haven’t resolved their issues, but it is nice to see Lucifer wanted Amenadiel to join him on his Sinnerman hunt.

[scalproie]

so monster hunter stories 2 doesnt offer a hall of fame at the end of the story like a pokemon game would do so I will make one of my own

alright so left to right, top to bottom:

Zanki the Nargacuga:

accidentaly attacked the team at first because of a misunderstanding, she was so embarassed about it for days

was tasked by her village to help the team figure out the mystery of the pits

those are not cat ears, those are hair

besties with Kanara and took care of Gnocchi, she stayed behind with her

Gnocchi the Lagombi:

the youngest member! she helped guide the team through the snowy mountains

didnt actually stayed on the team long as she stayed behind to help rebuild her village. Caught up with them alongside Zanki afterward on the city tho

Took down a gammoth by herself!

form a cute trio with Zanki and Kanara

Kanara the Zamtrios:

his own zamites group asked the team to stop him being rage-rayed, he stuck around after that

Only one used to working as a team, thus take the lead more often

The tank of the team, never leave that armor and reinforce it with ice. The heart of the team as well with his loud personality. He's the team's big bro/fun uncle. Funnily enough, has the least going on

Besties with Zanki and took care of Gnocchi, they specifically asked him to stay with the team while they stayed behind, separations were hard

MVP

Bājiru the Legiana:

got rage-rayed before meeting the group in his search for power, and was snapped out of it by Razewing Ratha, joined afterward the group "out of debt" but really want to find out more about Ratha's power

At least at first. Then got genuinely interested in the mysteries of the pits and wanting to save the world. Also, if you teach a kid how to fly, it's your kid now.

Was the one who fought against Razewing Ratha at the end and snapped them out of it :')

Master of evading both attacks and questions

MVP

Jun the Tobi-Kadachi:

was thankful to the team when they saved her forest, was already on board when it was about saving the world because she had a feeling it was coming down to this, then found out SOME people had issues and she wanted in

Is super in touch with nature so she could tell something was wrong, and she can sense where pits are

Has always been a bit of a loner so she has a bit of trouble socializing but she WANTS to and she enjoys the people she's with. Develop a sorta siblings-like relationship with Bājiru

Is particularly close with Kaz

Kaz the Anjanath:

The team's bastard representation

Let himself get rage-rayed on purpose to harness its power. Wonder if he could take Ratha's power for himself, only sticks around to find out, otherwise just in it for the personal revenge

Inherited an electric attack from his Fulgur Anjanath father. His father provides men and weapons to the group trying to bring out The Exalted One and who opposes our group. His father tested out the effect of the pits' light on Kaz, and then chugged him in it. Kaz does not like his father.

fixed himself thanks to the power of love and friendship :)

MVP

Sprite the Brute Tigrex:

If the taste of the drink he's named after was a person

tried to be Ratha's rival at first for all of 5min and now has a case of "protagonist's boy-best friend" syndrome, bro we are teens

Charlotte found him while the team was settled down somewhere while Ratha was learning to fly, she trained him and he replaced her after

Surprisingly very strong

Charlotte the Nerscylla:

funny old lady who doesn't battle much but still has it when she does, has zero problems with keeping up physically-wise and is amazing at climbing and stealing stuff

was the brain of the team with her experience and her knowledge of the old legends, her team members reminds her of her children

Noticed Sprite wanting to join the team and decided to train him to be as good as her so he can replace her, has a sweet grandmother relationship with him

[Ratha's voice] DID YOU KNEW MY GRANDFATHER, CHARLOTTE?

Beatrix the Black Diablos:

Joined the team momentarely when Ratha was kidnapped, guided the team through the desert and through the tower

Hellbent on taking revenge on the group who kidnapped Ratha for personal reasons

Cannot stand Kaz's guts (recognization of the Self)

The kids loves her and she doesn't know why

Arudra "Ratha" the Rathalos:

The titular protagonist! Call them Goku the way most of their friends are former enemies

Is constantly afraid they could bring the end of the world and is constantly repressing the immense power lying deep within, its taking a toll on them and from the outside it make them. Kinda bad.

Plus add that they will eventually want revenge on the Nergigante that killed their grandpa, as if this team needed another revenge plot

But it will be okay tho, gee Ratha how come you get SO MANY parental and the likes figures. Strong found family support system

Literally at the center of this team, the most important member

k so @miss-shydeer and @somethingwittyandweird werent lying, this picrew owns

[lucifers-trash-stash]

Into the Woods: Chapter One

Summary: After drunkenly crashing a yacht on a joyride, the Dixon brothers are required to teach a class as a part of their community service. Knowing that her sister Charlotte has a thing for Merle, Robin and Daryl come up with the idea for a weekend at the Dixon’s cabin in the woods.

A/N: This story is co-written by two authors, @ladylorelitany and myself. She writes the sections for Robin and Daryl, and I write for Charlotte and Merle.

Word count: 2,372

Warnings: Swearing

Masterlist

Merle

“Anchor’s away, private!” I call out to Daryl on the deck down below. Even in my drunken state there’s no way I’m letting my baby brother get a hold of the wheel and claim the role of captain. I’ve seen way too many rich old dudes with their hot little wives act like tough shit behind the helm of one of these babies, and I want that same sort of power, if only for a little joyride.

I hear Daryl climb up the steps just as I start giggling at “private.” Daryl grunts and walks over to me. “Why am I always left as the sidekick on your drunken adventures, huh?” he asks, slinging an arm over my shoulder and offering me a swig of my moonshine from a flask. I take it from him and gulp down a swig of it. Nothing tastes better than my own recipe, after all.

“Because I’m the oldest, baby brother,” I tease him. “Now go swab the poop deck!” I cackle at my own joke as Daryl rolls his eyes and takes the flask back. He can never just relax and have a little fun.

I fish boat keys out of my pocket, which the owner stupidly left in his room down below, and fire the engine up. I grin from ear to ear at the roar it makes. Even Daryl can’t contain his excitement at getting the thing up and running.

Just as I’m about to figure out how to get the boat away from the shipyard and onto the ocean, Daryl looks at me and wonders, “Ain’t ya supposed to pull the anchor up or something?”

I snort and shake my head at him. “They only put anchors on the big boats, numbnuts.”

When I finally figure out how to actually get the engines going and move the boat forward, Daryl says, “This is a big boat.”

As the boat slowly begins to move, I groan. “This ain’t no cruise liner, baby brother. As ya can see, it’s all smooth sailing from-”

A sudden lurch sends the both of us to the ground. Disoriented, I struggle to pick myself up off of my brother. With a grunt, Daryl tosses me off of him. As I start sending a slew of curses in his direction, we hear it. The sickening sound of metal scraping across metal.

I don’t dare to look, but I know my suspicions are true. We rammed into the side of the yacht next to us. While I run my hands over my face, trying to clear my head for just enough of a moment to think of a way to get out of this, Daryl’s voice comes in loud and clear. “Think we hit something.”

I moan at the obvious statement and rest my throbbing head against the cool hardwood of the deck.

Robin

I walk into the community center and head to our classroom, my arm slung around Charlotte’s waist. “Last class,” I mention nonchalantly. “What do you think?”

I already know what she’s thinking, but I’m always trying to get my sister out of her shell. It’s harder today because she’s feeling down, but I already have a fix for that.

We sit down in our normal spot in the front row and Charlotte shrugs dejectedly, casting a longing glance in Merle Dixon’s direction.

Merle notices the look, but assumes that it’s for his younger, shyer brother Daryl. He gives me a little wave, flashing me his signature smirk, and I wave back, nudging Charlotte to get her to wave back too. She does, but it’s halfhearted. She is definitely upset.

Charlotte has always had a thing for Merle. Not that I blame her. He’s a little rough around the edges, but he’s attractive, in good shape, and has a great sense of humor.

The problem is that my sister is shy. Like, painfully shy. She has a hard time talking to people, so flirting is pretty much off the table. I’ve taken her out a few times and tried to do the wingwoman thing, but she just didn’t seem interested. When I asked her what was wrong, she told me there was already someone she wanted and admitted to liking Merle.

So when I heard that the brothers were teaching a wilderness survival class as community service for crashing a yacht, of all things, I’d signed us up and started planning.

Daryl notices me wave and gives me a small smile. I wink at him conspiratorially. He’s totally in on my big move. We met at the diner and talked about it yesterday.

Talking to Daryl alone was a totally different experience than seeing him around his brother. He’s soft-spoken, but he’s also smart and thoughtful, and I think a lot of that gets lost in Merle’s ostentatious, vulgar demeanor. In fact, I’m wondering if that’s how Charlotte feels around me. She and Daryl are definitely alike, which is probably why Merle keeps trying to flirt with me. I seem like the more obvious choice of person who’d be into him.

I lean my chin on my hand and stare at the younger Dixon for a long moment. I honestly haven’t been thinking about myself in this venture at all, but yesterday after I told Daryl my plan, I’d definitely noticed a change in his behavior. He had leaned forward a little more, like he was hooked on my words, rather than uncomfortably getting through our conversation. It was hard to tell because of his deep tan, but I’m pretty sure he was blushing the rest of the time we talked. I think he’d thought I was after his brother, because he seemed surprised when I told him that it was Charlotte who liked Merle.

I’m not sure what to do about that. I’m generally pretty confident with men, but that’s partially because I go after confident men. I’ve never been with someone as shy and withdrawn as Daryl. Maybe it’s time for me to ask Charlotte for some advice.

I sigh, finally looking away from Daryl. I can always figure that out later. Right now, my concern is Charlotte.

The Dixons have a cabin in the woods, so I suggested to Daryl that we could all spend a weekend there to celebrate our class ending. He agreed that it would be fun, and we talked about various ways to conveniently make sure that Charlotte and Merle end up alone together.

I figured that Daryl and I might hang out a bit while my sister and his brother are off doing their thing. He’s definitely sweet and nice. But now I’m wondering what else might happen, and for the first time in a long time, I’m actually nervous because I don’t have a clear plan.

Class starts and I try to pay attention, but instead I find myself gazing at Daryl’s well-muscled arms and oddly fashionably messy hair. I bite my lip and blush, squeezing my legs together as I think about those arms in much more compromising situations.

I shake my head to clear it as the lecture ends, trying to sort out my thoughts. Getting to the cabin is my main goal right now, and Daryl is going to help me with that. Merle and Charlotte don’t have any idea what we’re up to.

Luckily, I don’t have to convince Charlotte to wait until everyone else has wandered out of the room; we usually stick around anyway. I push my new confused reaction to Daryl aside and prepare to suggest our little weekend trip instead.

Charlotte

Now that class is done I wait around with Robin for everyone to clear out so we’re free to talk with Daryl and Merle. Thankfully Robin has made it a habit to do this every class, otherwise I’d never be able to talk with Merle under any other circumstance. He’s far too outgoing for me, and even with my sister chatting them both up I still feel like I can barely find the words to talk to him.

If only this wasn’t the last day of class. The highlight of my week was being able to at least talk to Merle with some sort of reason. But now I probably wouldn’t see him again for a while, considering he frequents bars with Daryl and his drinking buddies. I’d never be able to talk with him alone. Not that I’d be confident enough to anyways.

As I’m stewing with what I should say to the guys, two of our classmates make their way over to me and my sister. We’re the only women in the class surrounded by a group of men, so that isn’t really surprising. What’s really bothering me is that they’ve never wanted to talk to us before, which makes me kind of nervous.

“Hey ladies,” the one says, eyeing us both. “Would you wanna go out and celebrate now that the class is over?”

I don’t even have to worry about opening my mouth, because Robin immediately comes to my rescue. “Sorry, but we’ve got a busy schedule. Kinda hard to squeeze you guys in.”

I smile and try to make a sympathetic face at the men. Robin always knows just what to say. I’m happy to have someone so understanding of my shyness as my sister.

The guys seem a little bummed out, but don’t make a big deal about it as they leave, which I’m grateful for. When the door closes behind them, Merle snorts and says, “Well ain’t ya ladies lookin’ fine today. Turning down men and everything.” Daryl rolls his eyes and gives us a small smile.

“Oh, I know, we’ve had to bat them off of us with a stick lately,” Robin jokes back. “Though I doubt you’d understand the feeling.”

“How would ya know, darlin’? Feeling curious?” Merle answers with a wink.

God. As much as I love Merle, I can’t stand to see him flirt with my sister the way that he does. Robin has continuously tried bringing me into conversations in the past, but Merle usually gets drawn right back into her.

I can’t believe I have a crush on a man that’s this dense. Though I suppose my shyness is a huge factor, because I’m sure if I told him I was interested he’d go out with me in a heartbeat. But I can’t be as blunt as my sister is. I just wish I had more time to try to get him to talk to me.

“Actually, I was curious about a little something,” Robin starts. I give her a look but she ignores me. “Charlotte and I really enjoyed your guys’ class. Honestly, we learned a lot. But you know what they say. You can’t really know something unless you experience it for yourself.”

“Ain’t that the truth,” Merle agrees. “Ya ladies are gonna have to make the time to go out camping sometime and get the real experience.”

“That’s actually what we wanted to talk to you boys about. We know you guys are the real pros, and we were wondering if you’d actually be willing to spend a weekend camping with us?” she asks. “Just to make sure we’ve really got a handle on it.”

My mouth hangs open slightly as I stare at Robin. We never talked about this at all. In fact, besides this class, neither of us have even shown interest in learning how to camp. My stomach begins to flip flop when I realize her true motive. She’s trying to get Merle and I alone together.

Merle gets this dark look in his eyes as he looks at the two of us, and I instantly feel a shiver run through me. The amount of times I’ve imagined him looking at me that way is too embarrassing to count. He knows exactly what Robin’s up to.

“It ain’t a bad idea, Merle,” Daryl interjects. “We got the cabin to use. Haven’t gone down there in a few weeks anyways.”

Merle grins, and it looks like the wheels are beginning to turn for him. Two women, two guys. Alone in a cabin in the woods for a weekend. If I wasn’t so nervous at the implication, then I’d be smiling from ear to ear.

“I think yer right,” Merle says, his tongue prodding the inside of his mouth. “Gotta make sure y’all understand how to take care of yerselves in the woods. Even got a lake if it gets too hot. How’s this weekend sound for ya? Pick ya up Friday afternoon?”

Before I can even stutter a response, Robin throws her arm around my shoulder. “Sounds like a plan! We’ll see you boys in a few days, then. Us ladies have to prepare.”

I mumble a goodbye over my shoulder as Robin drags my stunned body to the door. Though it might be my brain playing tricks on me, I swear I hear Merle tell Daryl that “these chicks are totally coming onto us.”

When we’re halfway down the hall, my mouth starts spilling out words. “What the fuck, Robin?! Why wouldn’t you tell me you were going to do this!? I’m not prepared in any way to go through with this!”

“Well, you were having a hard time bagging Merle, so I figured I’d speed things up a little bit,” Robin says with a wink.

“But I’ve never,” I begin, my voice faltering slightly.

Robin stops and gives me a sympathetic look. She lowers her voice and says, “Charlotte, it’s okay if you haven’t had your first time. And I guarantee you that once you get Merle to realize you’re into him, he’ll take things nice and slow for you. All right?”

“Why would he bother with me when he’s too busy staring at you?” I ask, starting to feel that sinking feeling in my stomach yet again.

“He will. I promise,” Robin says with a smile. She wraps her arms around me and I fall into them, sighing deeply. I know she means it. She’s been there for me for as long as I can remember.

I’m just hoping that this weekend will really work out with all the planning she’s probably done while I wasn’t looking.

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