#but i feel pretty confident about this esp since I KNOW he does the same thing in the book.

[mulberriesandtea]

canto 7 spoilers below.

YOU MUST ALWAYS STAY ON TRACK FOR YOUR DESTINY.

SANSON CARRASCO, THE DOCTOR, THE MAGICIAN WILL ALWAYS SALVAGE DON QUIXOTE FROM DELUSION.

THE FLOW CANNOT BE STOPPED IT CANNOT BE HELPED IT WAS ALWAYS GOING TO END THIS WAY. JUST ACCEPT IT.

[uriwoos2]

How Leehan would ask their crush out and omg the rest of the members being his wingman (esp Taesan)

thank you sm for this cute little req! I'm giggling and kicking my feet over the scenario already hehe! (´,,>ω<,,`) ♡

˗ˏˋwingman bnd headcanons! pairing: leehan x gn!reader. overview: leehan has a crush and goes to his friends for advice! genre: fluff, crack (kinda) word count: 2.9k warnings: none. ♡ note: not very confident abt this one.. not sure if this is exactly what u wanted but agghhh here it is! (sorry for the wait btw!) chose to write this only w legal line, so there's no woonhak (as they're in university). hope you enjoy dear <3 likes & reblogs r very appreciated ! . . . @onedoornet

𐚁๋࣭⭑ okay firstly, imagining leehan with a crush is the cutest thing! it first started out as slight interest, after he saw the person across the campus a couple of times. his eyes kept meeting theirs and it just made his heartbeat all rapid and weird. and before he knew it, he was thinking about them before bed each night, making up silly scenarios, and looking forward to seeing them in the daytime. he'd be such a cutie in love ( ᴗ ̫ ᴗ )

𐚁๋࣭⭑ he went on like this for a while, thought he'd be fine with just catching glimpses of his crush in the hallways, daydreaming about them and simply admiring them from afar.. but he became more smitten by the day, the ache in his heart only grew and he didn't know what to do with these feelings anymore, eager to know their name, and to turn the made-up scenarios into reality.

𐚁๋࣭⭑ but the problem was that he just didn't know what to do! being inexperienced when it comes to crushes and confessions, he felt so lost :( even though he's generally pretty confident, he didn't feel the same when he thought of the person. he wanted to impress them!! and he felt as tho he had to try extra hard to do that. still, he has no idea what to do..

𐚁๋࣭⭑ but what does he have his dear friends for?! I think it's logical that he'd go to the one he's closest to first, taesan in this case, to share his troubles with him and ask for advice! knowing he would never expose his little secret, and under no circumstance would he judge him for it either ofc!!

𐚁๋࣭⭑ but somehow, it just so happens that everyone else in their little group miraculously knows about his debilitating crush. (riwoo caught on pretty quick, then jaehyun coaxed it out of him just to go announce it to sungho) so.. a group meeting it is! ٩̋(ˊ•͈ ꇴ •͈ˋ)و an emergency one too! *boynextdoor assemble* hehe

like just imagine them sitting around this exact table discussing ways for ihan to get his crush to like him back. I'm not okay 😭😭

𐚁๋࣭⭑ so back to the serious business.. we have leehan all deep in his feels abt how much it hurts to long for this person he doesn't even know, almost on the verge of crying as he speaks.. while jaehyun has tears in his eyes from holding in his laugh for so long.. what a pure menace. unable to sit still for like 10 minutes, gosh… he actually just thinks leehan is adorable and ridiculous at the same time, finding the situation quite silly. he thinks leehan should muster up the courage and just ask them out, rather than crushing on them secretly.

𐚁๋࣭⭑ he'll eventually burst into a hearty cackle at a random moment, which will inevitably earn him a stern look from sungho, urging him to shush up and listen. I can't w these guys srsly..

𐚁๋࣭⭑ now, sungho.. he's so into the story, he's already plotting his scheme and thinking of ways to help out the poor guy. since he remembers seeing this person in some of his classes, he plans to observe them silently, in hopes of gathering some useful information. he even proposes the idea of slipping secret love letters into their bag.. ૮ ⇀‸ ⍝ა (this will have jaehyun snickering and riwoo shaking his head disapprovingly) he's just channelling his inner superspy, let him be u guys. 😭

𐚁๋࣭⭑ he'll desperately try not to come off as a stalker, but someone needs to tell this man that, unfortunately, the sheer size of his broad shoulders really limits the amount of potential hiding places...

𐚁๋࣭⭑ anyway.. so, taesan. he is the one that listens the most intently and quietly, soaking up all the information. considering that leehan's been holding all of this in for so long, he'd need to express his feelings openly, he'd need someone to listen well. (it's why he went to dongmin in the first place) and he does indeed fit this position perfectly!

𐚁๋࣭⭑ he's not one to say much in the moment, just waits for him to let it all out. (but it's also cuz he has absolutely no idea who leehan's talking about and doesn't have anything to say.. 😭😭) so he's just there for moral support (for now!)..

𐚁๋࣭⭑ moving on to the most thoughtful one of the bunch, who's softly stroking leehan's back as he sniffles and hiccups through his confession.. riwoo! who will be responsible for arranging a lunch date! ✩ a role which he assigned to himself. haha. since everyone meets up to have lunch together on most days anyway, riwoo thought it'd be a good idea to invite leehan's crush along sometime!

𐚁๋࣭⭑ now let me tell you abt the silence that settles around the whole table at this statement. it would have them speechless. cuz. that's a bold statement sanghyeok!! very good.. very nice.. we're making some real progress here! *cough* jaehyun *cough* sungho.. but the question is.. how do they invite the person without it being weird?..

𐚁๋࣭⭑ fear not! bcuz riwoo has a solution for that too LOL 😭😭 riwoo, surprisingly, got to strike up a conversation with this person somehow, and bond over their favourite desserts in the single class they shared.. an interesting way to make a friend, but leehan doesn't care abt that rn!! riwoo can actually get him a date w them!!! ⸜(*ˊᗜˋ*)��� his heart is yippee-ing so hard rn. u don't even know…

𐚁๋࣭⭑ and just like that, they'd end up at a cafe near their uni, sat and waiting.. and waiting… (jaehyun) calling riwoo a liar, yada yada. leehan is busy hyperventilating and fidgeting from the nerves, even though he himself isn't sure if he'll actually get to see his crush today.

𐚁๋࣭⭑ taesan, despite being unsure as well, still gives him an encouraging pat on his leg, just in case. none of them believe that the person will show, even sungho is doubtful, scrolling on his phone mindlessly. but riwoo, who organised this whole thing, is relaxed, and unprovoked by jaehyun's remarks.. that's why he's the only one who actually helps ihan calm down, telling him he'll do just fine in a reassuring voice <3

𐚁๋࣭⭑ imagine the surprise on all their faces when the person actually shows up.. and boom! leehan's heart drops to his stomach. in contrast, there's a smug look on riwoo's proud face hehehe. Ꮚ˘ ꈊ ˘ Ꮚ he's a man of his word after all!

𐚁๋࣭⭑ but there's more. taesan's eyes go wide partly bcuz the person actually showed up, and mostly cuz he's actually friends w them 😭 no because.. this is too hilarious, picturing leehan's dumbfounded expression when he drops this enormous bomb on him.. *insert jaehyun losing his mind giggling in the corner abt this whole thing* taesan is friends with his crush??? this information would've been useful like, at least 20 minutes ago.

𐚁๋࣭⭑ anyway, taesan won't disappoint any further though! he'll introduce leehan to them himself and try and get the two comfortable w each other. he'll actually be doing the most! you can imagine how awkward first meetings can be, but taesan is determined to eliminate all of that awkwardness and get them talking!! he's on a mission! ₍ᐢ..ᐢ₎⊹ hehe

𐚁๋࣭⭑ he'll keep going on about his awesome best friend, telling stories and complimenting him nonstop. he'll never ever! bring up an embarrassing story either, he's a true friend hehe! not just then, but any chance he gets after their little lunch date, he'll be insufferable w his praise! he's just super passionate abt helping ihan successfully woo his future partner ^^ (he's sure they'll end up together) and he finds them to be a perfect match too! so, he's trying his best to get them to like him back!! what a sweetheart <3

𐚁๋࣭⭑ as soon as their date comes to an end, expect leehan to be all over taesan interrogating and bombarding him with endless questions. but he's more than willing to answer them! thanks to TS, leehan will have all the basic info abt the person, their interests, their favourite artists, their hobbies, who they're friends with, places they like to hang out and such.. what a helpful guy!

𐚁๋࣭⭑ he's kind enough to even relay some messages to the person, about how leehan said it'd be nice for them to come have lunch with all of them again.. and he obviously exaggerates, complimenting them in leehan’s stead. he's a sneaky kitty! ( ˊᵕˋ ; ) hehe but he doesn't go overboard ofc!

𐚁๋࣭⭑ donghyun's crush tagging along their lunch dates becomes a regular occurrence at some point, as they gradually warm up to one another. leehan's heart could burst at the tiny interactions they share. everyone keeps nudging leehan to talk to them, and to finally ask them out, saying it's not that serious, that it's just a date. but it is that serious for poor ihan, when his heart is about to jump out of his chest at the mere thought of his crush. he wouldn't know how to handle it if the two of them were to be left alone. he's so in love gosh.. ｡ ˚. ૮Ꮚ ´͈ ⁄⁄`͈꒱ა

𐚁๋࣭⭑ they would all encourage him to take the next step in their own ways! taesan would try and talk him into it, while riwoo would take a more straightforward approach, and save seats for leehan to sit next to his crush, just so they can be closer hehe. sungho would randomly go off abt some cool new place that's opened recently, telling leehan to go check it out with him sometime. (the mastermind has a plan!) and jaehyun, I can kinda imagine him spilling a little bit of his drink (supposedly) accidentally on leehan's crush, just so leehan can have an excuse to help them out. tbh ihan would just look at him with a confused/irritated expression, as myungjae winks at him.. he's trying his best okay?

𐚁๋࣭⭑ I can imagine the sneaky smiles the rest of the boys would exchange at the slightest things, like when the two sit close to e/o, or when they touch hands on accident, or at times when they catch leehan staring at his crush with the most obvious heart eyes.. ₍ᐢ⸝⸝› ‹⸝⸝ᐢ₎ they're having sm fun lmao.. but they're also just happy to see their friend finally talk to someone he's liked for soooo long. such cuties <3

𐚁๋࣭⭑ sungho's proposal to go to this new fun place would actually strike interest in leehan's crush so.. it's a date! you've no idea how thrilled everyone would be to finally have leehan take his secret crushing further and go on a date with them!! (well plus sungho..) leehan can't really process what happened.. that sungho just casually got him a date.. well, kind of.

𐚁๋࣭⭑ I can imagine sungho helping leehan get ready for the date as he gives him a pep talk 😭😭 gosh it'd be the most adorable but hilarious thing.. he will help him choose the outfit, and won't stop adjusting his clothes like a worried mom lol. you'd think he's the one that's head over heels in love, with how worried he gets. but that's sungho for you! ૮₍ ´ ꒳ `₎ა always so caring when it comes to the others <3 <3

𐚁๋࣭⭑ leehan will literally sit/stand there with a hyper focused expression, taking everything in.. like, he doesn't wanna mess it up, you know! so any piece of advice is welcome. especially when it's coming from his most trusted friend <3 he'll be nodding and listening deep in thought, as sungho gives him pointers on what to do or not to do. an adorable little duo ^^

𐚁๋࣭⭑ …and then there's jaehyun. (bear w me while I push my menace myungjae agenda pls) who just happens to be there, not because he wants to help but just turning up to be a nuisance (again). this boy strikes me as someone that will tease. and tease he will! like, he'll tell him something that'll have leehan full on stressing.

𐚁๋࣭⭑ now look.. he doesn't wanna scare him, but he can't help adding more and more to his joke cuz poor ihan's thoughtful look just brings him sm joy LOL. the way his brows furrow in worry, looking to sungho for reassurance.. ૮ ˊ͈ . ˋ͈ ა only for the oldest to just stand there shaking his head in disapproval at jaehyun’s nonsense.. just a group of sillies.. ♡♡♡

𐚁๋࣭⭑ myungjae will eventually just burst out laughing, and admit to leehan that he's just kidding and that it'll go perfectly fine.. so basically, he would joke around but he'll also genuinely show up for him! it's just his way of showing support hehe

𐚁๋࣭⭑ and then we have taesan and riwoo just sitting there, quietly observing this pure chaos.. the two kitties smile at the jokes and the bickering, entertained by simply listening to their conversations.

𐚁๋࣭⭑ but when the time comes for leehan to set out, they'll be first to rush and give him words of encouragement and wish him good luck! taesan tells him to just be himself and everything will go smoothly, as he drowns him in perfume at the last minute. while riwoo just advises him not to go off abt his fish and it'll be just fine 😭😭 he tells him his looks will do the trick. which, true.

𐚁๋࣭⭑ and sungho... is nowhere to be seen. he must've slipped thru the door when everyone was busy, sly little fox he is. ૮ • ﻌ - ა when leehan takes notice of this he starts panicking, but the others tell him to go, or else he'll be late and that sungho will probably just meet them there.

𐚁๋࣭⭑ hmm.. ihan senses sth suspicious about this whole thing, but he doesn't want to make his crush wait so he complies. right before he leaves jaehyun will pipe in and ask to update them throughout the date, and at this point leehan is abt to combust from overstimulation lol so he just gets out of there.

𐚁๋࣭⭑ but it gets worse! bcuz he only hears from sungho thru text when he's already arrived. he sends him a single message saying: I'm not going, enjoy your date 😘~ you're welcome <3 …oh how leehan wishes he could magically teleport to where he is and give him a piece of his mind..

𐚁๋࣭⭑ sungho's really just doing this bcuz he wishes the best for his friend, but leehan doesn't realize that rn through his drumming heartbeat and the ever increasing urge to leave. he's kinda nervous, ngl. hah... haha . ha... srsly he's abt to pass out guys..

𐚁๋࣭⭑ in the end everything will be fine of course.. there's nothing to worry about, I mean.. it's leehan. he might mention his fishies here and there by accident but that only adds to his charm hehe ૮˃̵֊ ˂̵ ა esp if he stops himself mid sentence after.. telling his crush he's not supposed to talk about fish today 😭😭 they'd find this so cute.. nicknaming him fish boy in their mind cuz of it. I'm gonna sob..

𐚁๋࣭⭑ he's getting more comfortable w them, finding it easier to talk to them and even make jokes! seeing his crush laugh bcuz of sth he said has him melting on the inside.. lovesick baby <3

𐚁๋࣭⭑ and (ik I forgot to mention this oops.. but the date takes place at an arcade, which creates a better environment for the two to have fun and get comfy w e/o!! genius sungho.) he'll try to desperately win one of those plushies for him from those rigged machines, but he'll fail :( but at least he's cute while pouting hehe

𐚁๋࣭⭑ since ihan senses that they seem to get on quite well, he'll consider the idea of asking them out again. I feel like he would be pretty regretful not to have asked them out himself, u know, in a proper way. so he'll muster up all his courage at the end of the date, when he's dropping them off, to actually ask his crush out on his own, like he'd wanted to in the first place!

𐚁๋࣭⭑ he'll just tell them cutely that he likes spending time w them and that he'd love to do something like this again sometime, that he wants to get to know them better!.. and when his crush questions if he's asking them out on a date, he'll just blush and say he is shyly.. ૮ / / / ⍝ა ofc they'll say yes!! again.. it's leehan. have u seen him? also they really enjoyed today's date too, which they'll tell ihan abt and his cheeks are burning up at this point... cuties x

𐚁๋࣭⭑ numbers and shy thank yous will be exchanged. leehan promising to text them about their next date <3 don't u guys think it'll be sweet if they give ihan a quick peck on the cheek? cuz I do. just for the sake of making his heart flutter and see him go shy again.. what a cute sight it'll be gosh :'( <3

𐚁๋࣭⭑ safe to say, leehan goes to bed that day w a glowing ball of light in his chest, heart full and mind replaying moments from the date <3 baby boy's so happy. ૮₍ ˶• ˔ ต ₎ა ♡ he couldn't be happier.. already planning out their next date <3

𐚁๋࣭⭑ oh! almost forgot! he'll just send a simple text to the group chat that the date went well, cuz he's just soo exhausted.. immediately summoning the others w their endless questions smh. but that can wait until morning. also, just know that taesan will be the first to hear abt all the deets the next morning!! hehehe that's it <3

[starspray]

I'd love your director's cut on On Wings Of Storm- Esp Elwing's attack on Maedhros! She's so vibrant in your writing, and I love how you portray her desperation too XD

Ooh, my first TRSB fic! First of all, I'm so glad you liked it! Second of all, I had to go back and reread it because I couldn't remember anything about it except for the artwork and like, the logistics of slaying Ancalagon, rather than the scene itself. Good lord it's riddled with typoes I am so sorry I don't have any idea how those happened. I swear I usually proofread my work.

So fun fact: the art was not my first pick for that TRSB; I was in the car on the way to some family Memorial Day thing and the google form glitched and I had to fill it out twice. This art of Elwing was pretty far down the list because I loved it but I wasn't entirely confident I could write something 5000 words long about it.

Turns out I could write over 11k, and honestly if I were to write this fic now it would be a lot longer. As I was reading I kept finding places and characters that I would have loved to see more fleshed out, but when I was writing it, it was for the very first Tolkien Reverse Summer Bang before the "oh no my fic has grown wildly out of my control" culture was established, and I didn't want to end up with a monster fic (hilariously contrasted with '21 and '22 where both fics were around 20k, lol).

So I don't remember a whole lot of what I was thinking when I wrote this fic, but definitely a lot of it was me trying to figure out how Elwing would get to that scene in the art, standing on Vingilot in armor with a sword in her hand (God, it's such good art!). I don't usually write her as particularly war-like, and I guess she still isn't, here, but she also knows her way around a sword and she's not afraid to use it.

I'm also not sure that scene where she fights Maedhros is Maedhros, tbh; that might be Amrod or Amras (there's another version of Sirion I've written where it's one of them she encounters before reaching the cliff; I may have been thinking of that). But the Elwing of this fic is not an Elwing who is just going to run away and not put up any fight. She also uses the Silmaril to blind her attacker there which is fun because foreshadowing! The scene on the cliff is also one I had written before, so I was trying to make it different; Elwing's last words to Maedhros are a moment of foresight for her because I was really leaning into her as one of Melian's granddaughters which means she has powers. Also fire seems to be something of a motif, what with Doriath and Sirion burning and then the dragons with their fire--and ultimately the fire that consumed Maedhros himself, though Elwing does not witness that. The reader knows what happens.

Aiwendil gets a cameo because I am very attached to my headcanon of he and Elwing as BFFs.

Curumo also gets a cameo because I needed someone to make Elwing's armor, and I thought it would be neat to see Saruman long before he ever starts down the road to becoming Sharkey; ever since I've looked for opportunities to do that again, but I haven't found one yet. I feel like I probably tried to think of a way to work in Olorin, but that clearly didn't work out. Instead I put in the scene with Nienna, because I needed a starting point for Elwing to start processing her despair and anger and trauma, and that's Nienna's whole jam. The mirror is obviously a nod to Galadriel's later in LOTR, but Nienna has both more and a different kind of power so it doesn't function in exactly the same way.

And the refrain of "She jumped." was definitely purposeful. There's the first time where she jumps to what she believes will be her death, in anger and despair; there's the second time where she jumps into battle with still plenty of anger but not so much despair--and this time she can use that anger, because now she can fly at will--and the last time at the end she's happy, and jumping is just the first step to soaring.

[delcakoo]

How would you describe Enhypen members’ personalities? Would it change if they had a lover?

mmm, lemme think ab this anonnie!! >:0 (woops, looking back on this i definitely went overboard and it could’ve been a whole post but oh well, enjoy my rambling lmaojdihf)

the only word i can think of to describe heeseung is just so chill, he just gives me such a childhood best friend vibe. he’s someone you can always trust and be yourself with. all the members have agreed that when they have worries, he’s their go-to person to let things out and vent to. being the youngest in his family, i can see that hee has a very big childish and silly side that he has begun to show a lot more as he’s gotten more comfortable (showing off his woody and buzz light year toy on live, absolutely screaming his lungs out in the karaoke eps, constantly playing his video games even in his envlog, esp w niki). and in a relationship, heeseung would still be very casual and easygoing, except unlike around most other people, he’d let his playful side overtake his mature side that he has to put up as the oldest member with his s/o much more often. he would be quite protective, and i think the highlights of his relationship for him would be whenever he could make his partner smile or even better, laugh.

jay is just such a genuine, wonderful person. like for me it’s so easy to see how much he cares about the people he loves. he is always watching out for his members and would do anything for them, like when heeseung left his damn bowl in the middle of the table in sosofun (😭) jay fr didn’t even care or scold him, he just picked it up and washed it for him anyway. in the jaywonoo envlog, even though he’s literally only a year older than sunoo and won, he put aside any desire to have fun and join them in the pool just to focus on making dinner for the three of them. he’d be the same with his lover, perhaps even more. he’d cherish them so much. he said in a fancall something like if he had a lover he’d want to make sure they’re the happiest they can be/ he’d try to make them the happiest he can (smthn like that, if anyone finds the fancall lmk), like you will know very well he loves you every damn day. i also think with a bit of convincing on their side, he’d open up to his s/o and rant out his worries, something i feel like jay might need to do more often.

to me jake is such a bubble of joy. he has said he’s very shy and scared or being judged, and i’ve definitely noticed this in the way he usually lets the other members take the spotlight and ends up laughing in the background more than telling the jokes on variety shows/interviews. but on enoclock and just when he’s with his members, he’s so smiley and talkative <3 he’s very easygoing and so easy to get along with, jungwon (and niki agreed with this i think) said on enhypen&hi that out of all his hyungs, jake is the most easy to talk to (when sunghoon got jealous about this i was giggling im sorry) and it really shows to me! i think it’s so beautiful how jake tries to be a father figure but also a playmate for niki since he kind of missed his childhood, it goes to show how much he cares about his members in his own, perhaps overlooked way. if he had a lover, at first he’d be very shy and hard to break out of his shell, but after a while he’d let himself show and be very playful and affectionate. he’d be his s/o’s number one supporter in absolutely anything they do, always cheering them on with that boxy grin from the sidelines <3

i could fr talk about sunghoon for hours, he’s so relateable <3. i’m sure most people would have absolutely no shame and full confidence if they looked the way this man does, yet sunghoon is the most shy and humble person. with strangers and in interviews, he almost never talks unless he’s forced to. i’m pretty sure he’s spoken about having trouble socially, and growing up he was put into figure skating because his parents recognised how shy he was and wanted a way for him to meet new people and grow. now that he has a home with enha, you can really see how relaxed and at ease he is with the members. sometimes it’s more subtle, but he’s pretty teasing and rarely shows any affection. i think a big part of his teasing side is to cover up how easily he gets flustered and shy jsdjdjh honestly, i think he’s hilarious and his humor is underrated, just watch some enoclock episodes; he says and does the most random but funny things (i’ll never forget his iconic look in episode 19/20 with the cowboy hat and green glasses, and in iland when he randomly screamed over pyeonyuk 😭) his humor has no specific trail, it’s just out of the blue and that makes it funnier lmao. i think sunghoon puts a lot of faith and trust in his members (sosofun when he straight up left them to deal with the ticket payments 😭, and when he was practicing for mubank he facetimed jungwon to help rehearse), and in a relationship he’d do the same. he’d also be very teasing and playful and wouldn’t show public affection too much, behind closed doors would probably be the highest chance of getting some kisses n’ cuddles from him. he’d try to be the cocky and smug one in the relationship, but if his partner is brave enough to not start immediately blushing and fight back, you can corner him easily ��

my ball of sunshine.. sunoo is for real a best friend everyone would die for. he’ll always laugh at your jokes, he always brightens the mood like the life of the party he is. i dont need any examples for everyone to know this boy’s absolutely hilarious and so sarcastic. my favorite clip of him ever is on his bday vlive when he recieved anonymous letters from the members and he just roasted the shit out of all of them except jungwon, the sarcastic comments??? “wow, i’m so touched i’m gonna cry *pretends to stab eyes*” “seriously, thank you so much *sassy eye roll” god he’s so funny 😭 though he’s almost always the one being teased, you can truly see how much he means to the people around him. the members may be pretty harsh with the teasing all the time but they care about him so much, never forgettinf when they brought a fox plushie around when he was sick, and at the concert when they were all patting him n’ holding him while he was crying :( sunoo’s just someone you can always rely on to be there and make you feel welcomed. in a relationship sunoo would be a bit more serious. he’d always be watching out for his partner’s health and safety, making sure you’re eating and sleepong well. he’d definitely be a bit playful, probably pinching his s/o’s cheeks constantly n’ taking lots of candid shots for his lockscreen <3.

jungwon is very easily described as mature. too mature for his age. heeseung mentioned how he worried for jungwon, and how he was forced to grow up so fast, and i agree that it’s unbelievable how he became the leader of enhypen at 16 years old and has done such an outstanding job at it. he’s patient, humble, and so dependable. he’s always the one starting up the intro conversations for enoclock and other shows, and he always puts up a smile no matter what. honestly, as a new engene i remember being flabbergasted at how he was the second youngest just watching niki be a hyper chaotic menace while won would just be sitting there with the most disapproving 👁. i think jungwon is someone everyone around him secretly really appreciates. the members don’t say sappy stuff to each other a lot, but i’m sure if they were to be given the chance, most of them would want to say something to thank their amazing leader. his personality would 100% become more relaxed and childish with his s/o. won doesn’t get to act his age much at all, so he’d relish in being able to giggle and fool around with his love. his partner would always be reminded of how special they are to him, he isn’t afraid to show a lot of affection as long as there’s privacy. also, i feel like jungwon wouldn’t get jealous very easily, mostly because he just has so much faith and trust in his partner that anyone else doesn’t matter to him.

niki has slowly been getting more and more mature. watching enhypen&hi and other old content makes me a bit sad for some reason. he used to be quite loud and hyper, always playing pranks and screaming in the members ears during lives (💀) but now he’s definitely, if not the quietest member who just adds a few comments every once in a while during lives/shows. while it is a little sad, it’s understandable since he is at a big changing part of life and this is just how he is, and we still love him always for it! niki is very subtle and the least likely to show a hint of affection, but it’s clear he cares deeply for his members and close ones. i think he really admires his hyungs, especially heeseung (it’s adorable seeing how much hee makes him laugh). niki also radiates such a strong aura, he walks with utter confidence and with his head held high. he also isn’t afraid to tease his members despite being the youngest, his sly comments and mocking is part of his love language which is also the same if he was in a relationship. if you’ve read any of my hcs/reactions you know i’m a strong believer niki would be very laid back and teasing with his s/o. but notice he’s only like that with people he’s very close to? yeah, it’s truly his way of showing his love and that he trusts you. the longer his relationship goes, the more he’d open up for physical affection, though he’s still definitely not one for pda.

[queensusanthemagnificent]

It’s Gushing About Cinderella 1997 Time Again

Okay, so instead of color theory, today, I’m looking at Cinderella’s journey with trust, the Prince’s inability to recognize her at the ball, and how that aspect of the original fairytale got utilized to further along the theme of learning to trust people to love you for who you are.

Part 1: The Prince Meets Cinderella

When the prince meets Cinderella just after The Sweetest Things, there is no magic involved at all, and he’s IMMEDIATELY smitten with her. Just thinks she’s the most beautiful girl he’s ever seen and makes no bones about trying to figure out how to ask her out even after she’s excused herself to go about her day. Cinderella is visibly uncomfortable with the attention, but doesn’t completely turn him away. We know from The Sweetest Things that she WANTS love, that she yearns for it even, but the moment someone turns around and gives it to her, she doesn’t seem to know what to do with it anymore. She’s mostly confused by the prince’s behavior, but ultimately gains enough confidence and chutzpah to call him out on continuing to pester her even when she’s made it fairly clear she’s not interested by asking him if he even knows how to treat a woman.

And of course has her iconic line:

He sticks his foot in his mouth right after by saying she’s “not like most girls” which I will somewhat excuse as we know the prince has grown up massively sheltered and has likely not spoken to many women outside of the trappings of nobility who are all attempting to gain his or his parents’ favor, particularly as a suitor (we also know from a later scene that his mother has been attempting to set him up for a while and this is likely how he has met most women he’s ever interacted with).

Cinderella chooses to be forgiving and admits that she’s led a fairly sheltered life, thus how she’s gained her opinions I suppose, and the prince admits the same and they really seem to connect TOGETHER for the first time before the stepmother interrupts. Despite her choice to try to walk away from the prince when he initially showed interest in her, Cinderella risks her stepmother’s impatience and irritation by turning back one last time to watch the prince leave. She WANTS love, she WANTS to trust that someone could be interested in her like this, but she doesn’t completely trust it to happen or to last.

Part 2: The Prince sees Cinderella at the Ball

The next time the prince sees Cinderella is at the ball. He’s just spent the last several hours making nice with a bunch of women he doesn’t know and isn’t interested in so he can appease his mother. Presumably, he could probably expect the girl he met in the marketplace a few days ago might make an appearance given that the invite went out to all the girls in the kingdom, but he never mentions it. While it was clearly a nice connection to make in the moment, he seems to mostly chalk it up to a successful trip to the village, made nicer by a pretty girl and doesn’t think much about it afterwards, esp since the problem of the ball comes up immediately and his attention gets derailed.

In other words, the prince is not thinking about Cinderella anymore. Not maliciously, but he’s got other things on his mind, so when she shows up and he doesn’t recognize her despite having flirted with her only a few days ago, it’s somewhat understandable. Plus, she’s all made up with a completely different hairstyle and a nice dress and they have only met ONCE, for a few minutes total, several days ago.

But, that being said, while he doesn’t recognize her, he IS once again immediately smitten with her, and he does have that sense of familiarity, he just can’t place where. The problem then comes when he starts to try to guess how he knows her.

His guesses are all related to Cinderella being rich and/or nobility like him rather than considering that commoner girl he flirted with in the marketplace only a few days ago. Cinderella reacts fairly kindly to those guesses, telling him that she can’t swim, so she wouldn’t have been at the lake that summer, or that she’s never been to the mountains where his lodge is. But these assumptions eventually feed into Cinderella’s feelings of inadequacy and her fears that he won’t care for her when he finds out who she really is despite his initial reaction to her in the marketplace.

She starts to get flustered again when he calls her beautiful and her attention is drawn to how everyone around her is looking at them, but is effectively distracted by the Prince beginning to sing and only becomes flustered again once the King and Queen decide to insert themselves into the situation and get to know her and the reality of what seems to be happening hits her. She just intended to go to a fun party and dance a little, but now she’s gotten the attention of the Prince and it’s coming back to her that the point of the ball was for the Prince to find a WIFE. But she can tell, both from the Prince’s earlier comments and the ones made by the King and Queen asking who she is and who her family is, that they’re assuming things about her status that aren’t true.

Cinderella wants to keep living in a fantasy, though, where a Prince could love someone like her, so every time her reality comes into the conversation, she tries to move the conversation away. She wants to live in the bubble of romance the Prince is creating for her rather than talking about her family or what he wants in a wife.

And it works, right up until the clock strikes midnight and that reality crashes down on her like an avalanche.

Despite everything they’ve talked about that night, about how he knows she’s The One despite just having met her, about what he wants in a wife and how she seems to fit that description, about their feelings, Cinderella does not trust that he’s going to like her once he finds out who she is. Because despite how much time they’ve spent with each other (which, according to clock, is about 45 minutes now), he hasn’t recognized her as the girl from the marketplace ONCE.

Cinderella herself never mentions whether she recognizes the Prince from the marketplace or not, but we can fairly safely assume that she does. That moment meant a LOT to her, it was likely the first friendliness she had been shown in a while, especially by a stranger, and it hit her like a ton of bricks. It showed her that someone COULD be interested in her for who she is, could grow to love her.

And of course, meeting the Prince’s family at the ball gives her a sense of what it would be like to be part of HIS family, a family that already does seem to like her well enough and clearly care about their son. It’s everything she’s ever dreamed of having, but they all believe her to be something she isn’t, and she can’t trust that they’d treat her the same if they knew. So instead of risking it all for love, for that dream, she runs again. She’d rather leave it one really good night and a lifelong what-if than get rejected one more time.

Cinderella runs home, back to what she knows, back to what’s comfortable. In the “Do I Want You” reprise, Cinderella appears wistful, but resigned. The Prince, on the other hand, seems almost more confident and determined. He’s smiling at the empty courtyard, even before he sees the shoe left behind. Cinderella is prepared to let everything go, but the Prince no longer is. She told him at the ball is that the problem with most people is that they only dream about things without ever doing anything about it.

So he does. He commits himself to finding her, even WITHOUT the shoe, he’s committed to finding her.

Part 3: The Prince Finds Cinderella

Obviously, the fact that the Prince has the need to go out and have everyone try on the shoe means he still has no idea who Cinderella is. He never asks her name at the ball, so he hasn’t connected her to the girl from the marketplace who DID tell him her name. He can’t just go into the village and ask for “Cinderella” yet. But the fact that he goes INTO the village at all means he has recognized that this girl could be literally anyone, commoner or nobility, and it doesn’t matter to him which it is. He’s making no assumptions about her identity anymore.

And then he sees her. In an obvious throwback to their first meeting, he finds her having just dropped all of her belongings in front of a carriage because it moved in front of her a little quickly.

Backing up, though. Cinderella’s gone through an entire journey during this time period. She left the Prince behind at the ball, ready to leave that dream behind as “impossible.” And gives it one last go with the family she was left with, trying to connect with them, be a part of it. And it fails. Again.

But it gives her the strength to realize that this was never going to work. And while she doesn’t believe she can be what a Prince wants, she DOES believe she deserves to be loved and deserves better than what her stepmother is dishing out.

So, the next day, while the Prince is out with a glass slipper, going through every eligible girl in the kingdom trying to find her, Cinderella is preparing to leave her childhood home and set out on her own. Even when she ostensibly DOES hear the Prince in the house, trying on the slipper with her family, she chooses not to make herself known to him, and walks away.

But not quite fast enough and the Prince sees her.

She is once again dressed as a commoner with no magic involved, and this time, the Prince immediately recognizes her both as the woman from the marketplace AND the woman from the ball. From behind. By referencing their first meeting where he initially made his interest known, he indicates that he still likes her despite now knowing her background, and perhaps even BECAUSE he now knows her background as the first woman he ever met who truly understood how he felt and treated him like a person, with kindness and respect, rather than like a Prince.

Cinderella has a choice here. He recognizes her, yes, but she doesn’t have to play along. She doesn’t have to turn around and admit to anything, she COULD, presumably, choose to keep running. But the fact that he RECOGNIZES her, finally, and still wants her, gives her just enough courage to turn around and trust him and confirm her identity, both as the girl in the marketplace and the girl who fits the slipper.

And it pays off. Trusting someone to love you as you are, having the courage to actually go after your dream, to let it come true, pays off.

Have I mentioned how much I love this movie recently? Because this is PEAK Cinderella, and I love this movie.

[redrobin-detective]

Ben 10 lore that exists in my heart regardless of canon

- Ben’s personality in his mid-late teens is a mix of his Alien Force and Omniverse self. On the surface, he’s very cheerful and kind even if he is a bit of arrogant showoff. He makes jokes and plays around and acts as if he isn’t bothered by the things in his life. Those who know him best understand a good portion of his outward confidence and cockiness is just a facade to cover up his insecurities and to project the ideal, effortless hero. While sometimes seen as immature, most beings know Ben 10 means business as he takes his unofficial job and people’s safety very seriously. He’s clever, adaptable, charismatic and empathetic which makes him a formidable opponent and a loyal friend. Doesn’t open up easily but if you get to him, he become so dearly attached. 

- Drinks smoothies so much for several reasons. Comfort food go brrr, reminds him of the good easy times with him Gwen and Kev. It’s also a light but generally nutritous food to give him energy for heroing. Anything too heavy and he’ll be puking (both from physical and emotional stress). Though he jokes about his mom’s health foods, his are a crazy concoction of add in proteins and vitamins/minerals bc he knows he’ll out and out collapse without it. (Still has on occasion bc boy still doesn’t eat right/enough)

- While Fame is exciting for him at first he soon begins to detest it. Not the fans, no, he can’t bring himself to hate the people who look up to him. But he hates the constant attention, that he can’t walk outside without being mobbed. the only place he feels safe is his hometown where most people are so used to him and his weirdness that they don’t react much anymore. Takes to wearing a cape and face shield when going out anywhere so he can actually get things done without being recognized and mobbed.

- Part of the reason Bellwood isn’t concerned with Ben is partially because ben’s been weird and alien for as long as they can remember but also many don’t realize how famous/powerful he is. Yeah that’s just Ben Tennyson over there, sometimes he turns into funny creatures- wait what do you MEAN he’s the savior of the universe?? He cried over a spilled smoothie the other day.

- Does mostly online schooling by the time he’s 15. At first he tries to do half day things to maintain something of a normal life but it quickly becomes overwhelming and dangerous him/the school. Finishes his GED early but the Plumbers and Azmuth make him take additional college level and alien courses to prepare him for his future role. Ben gripes but really does love learning all these things, especially on his terms (ADHD and stress + the public school system do not always go hand in hand). He’s a quick learner when he deems the information important and is made accessible to his learning needs.

- Ben definitely has ADHD speaking of which, it was nearly uncontrollable as a child bc his free-spirited parents didn’t believe in medicating. Ben convinced them he needed it and after some trial and error, found meds that worked. As he became more involved in heroics/growing up he had to change his medicine regimen (resulting in him being a bit more off the rails in OV) and needed antidepressants and therapy to manage it better. As an adult he has a whole litany of coping mechanisms (good and bad yes) and regularly checks in with his therapist and doctors to keep things under control. 

- Has a complicated relationship with his necrofriggian children. Considers himself their mother and worries after them. They too feel a connection to their parent despite this being unusual for their species. A few visit (some more than others) while they grow while others maintain distance. Ben never breathes a word of them to the media for fear of them being targeted. Still he keeps an eye on them and ensures all 14 mature to adulthood (another rarity for the species). Checks in every now and again with the ones who don’t want to see him and those that do. Two join the Plumbers and Ben is both proud and worried. His youngest becomes partners with Rook Ben.

- Just in general loves kids, they’re his favorite fans and while he’ll grumble at pushy adult fans he always smiles and kneels down for the little ones. Not so secretly wanted to have children of his own but knew it was a risk overall and used a lot of that energy with mentoring and teaching. Eventually had Kenny later in life (late 30s-40s) and was over the moon, becoming such a loving and doing parent or as much as he could be with his hectic schedule. 

- Omnitrix can’t come off, never has at any point since it first latched onto Ben’s arm. Azmuth tried and failed to get the device off, doesn’t let Ben know for many years as he feared the consequences. The watch loves and protects Ben even beyond it’s programming making him much more durable to damage and releasing energy charges when he’s threatened. Not even removing Ben’s arm would separate them. They’re stuck for life.

- Ben does have Anodite heritage but the Omnitrix actively suppresses it and uses the built up energy to power the transformations which is why ben is mostly unaffected by what should cause a massive energy drain on him. Theoretically if Ben learned to harness and safely use his Mana at an early age like Gwen he would have been fine but letting it build up without safe outlet meant activation would have killed him. Omnitrix Ben, however, went his whole life not knowing of his latent abilities and how the watch saved his life.

- Ben’s eyes get more green and glowy as time passes from the Omnitrix. At first they think its a trick of the light but by the time he’s an adult his eyes are pretty much glow in the dark. His veins light up too after long stretches of using the Omnitrix. Its vaguely unsettling to people who aren’t used to Ben.

- Max and the Earth Plumbers work so, so hard to keep teen Ben on Earth when half the universe is blowing up their comm lines asking for The Ben 10 to help with whatever problem of the day. Ben himself doesn’t quite understand when he’s younger the prestige and expectations on his shoulders. Max throws up a million and one roadblocks so Ben can live as normal a life as possible while he still can. Still, while doing that he Still overloads Ben with expectations and responsibilities on earth and beyond. He becomes a soldier again with Ben as their greatest weapon. He never forgave himself of losing sight of his grandson underneath the hero esp after Ben’s breakdown. 

- Rook partnership with Ben ends not long after Omniverse with his promotion to Magister. Ben tries to play it cool but the thought of another loved one/teammate leaving his tears him apart. Max revealing that Ben most likely wouldn’t get a new Plumber assigned partner since he’s almost an adult and won’t need it and Rook accidentally missing their last smoothie run due to a scheduling mishap causes Ben to snap and have the nervous breakdown that had been building for almost a decade. He completely loses it for a little while and needs to take an extended leave of absence from school and heroics that lasts about a year. Spends time recovering both on Earth and Galvan Prime, does some diplomatic training, learns about aliens, actually confronts the stress and loneliness of his life. He comes out the other side stronger but still fragile and exhausted.

- Ben’s above mentioned breakdown brings him closer to all his friends who didn’t quite realize the extent of Ben’s burden. Rook had been under the impression Ben didn’t like him all that much so the knowledge that his departure was the final straw for friend/hero’s collapse was shocking. Ben and Azmuth also become closer, the Galvan becoming fiercely protective of the boy seeing as his Earth family didn’t do well to keep him safe. It takes years for him to get over his anger at Max for putting so much on his grandchild. Ben makes more friends, in and out of the hero business, finally gets a therapist and gets some of his burdens eased a bit. It’s not a sure fire fix and Ben has several smaller breakdowns the rest of his life but its something.

- Azmuth was straight up suicidal before he met Ben for the first time. Ben gave him back hope for the universe and his ability to create items for peace not weapons. The boy infuriates him, frightens him, frustrates him but Azmuth cannot deny in his heart of hearts that he loves Ben dearly. He’s very upset at Ben’s breakdown and doesn’t know how to handle the worst of the initail outbursts. Azmuth talks Ben down from a suicide attempt. He reaches out to Ben that he Too felt overwhelmed by pressure, thought himself only good for war. Ben’s arrival in his life saved him and now he will do the same for Ben. It’s the first positive step forward in Ben’s recovery.

- For no other reason than I like it, Azmuth primarily refers to Ben as Benjamin (mostly to annoy the kid but he likes the way it sounds too) and Ben in softer, more serious moments. 

- Professor Paradox continues to flit in and out of Ben’s life. He says its because Ben is the most equipped to handle universal peril (true) but he’s also just very fond of the boy. Ben, existing in so many forms and having such importance also exists a beat outside of normal reality which Paradox identifies with. Ben is naturally attuned to time related problems because of this (instantly IDing Spanner as from the future before being told later deducing him to be his unborn son). Plus Ben named him, way back when. He’s just drawn to Ben.

- Adult Ben, while being seen as an impressively skilled fighter and champion, really has his strength as a universal diplomat of sorts. Based out of Earth, he helps mediate and defuse conflicts, advocate against tyranny and overall preserve peace and balance. He’s not perfect, he makes mistakes and sometimes is forced to become violent (and yes kill) but overall is regarded as a peacekeeper, something younger ben simply couldn’t understand. 

- Gwen gets her degree and primarily does work with advocacy and teaching about magic/alien culture. While she and Ben are still close, there’s a bit of a frustrated divide in that she isn’t helping him share the burden of the universe. Gwen never wanted to be a hero and has enough worth to not shackle herself to a job that’ll burn her out. Ben loves heroing but gives too much of himself away trying to fix everything. They get into screaming arguments that it wouldn’t be so bad out there if she just helped him but she refuses to budge and says he shouldn’t make himself do so much. They always make up and thy still are each other’s closest relationships.

- Ben marries Kai in a political move, Kai is Asexual and Ben Aromantic. They didn’t love each other but they got on well enough and Ben was really feeling the stress of carrying the hero burden so Kai also being involved made him feel like he wasn’t alone. Both were also so tired of the universe constantly asking about their love life and said ‘fuck it we’re married leave us alone’. Gwen was always mad about it feeling Ben deserved better but the two of them were happy with it. They had separate rooms, mostly separate lives but they became strong friends and supports with their strictly platonic marriage. They had Ken via Invitro in an incubator and were loving if extremely busy parents. 

- Also from the moment he appeared, Ben knew that Spanner was his future son, Kenny. He played ignorant and then was kind of deliberately teasing him in future encounters. He knew the rules of time and didn’t want to disrupt things further even if he was angry and worried as heck about why Ken felt the need to time travel. When future Ben catches up in the timeline, Kenny gets SUCH a lecture. 

- Ben isn’t quite immortal but he’s also not entirely human anymore either. The Omnitrix not only keeps him safe from most harm but it lightens the effect of aging. Ben 10 is active many, many years when most humans would have been forced to retire. He’s not sure how long the watch will keep him alive and it terrifies him. Gwen too is functionally immortal however she ages like a normal human, then when her natural death came, shed her skin and became a fulltime Anodite. So in the end, it was her and Ben together wondering which of them will die first. Gwen has trouble retaining her humanity as pure energy and swears she’ll let herself fizzle out when Ben goes. When that’ll be however...

[violettelueur]

— FUSHIGURO MEGUMI + GOJO SATORU + NANAMI KENTO || SPARRING SESSION TENSION

↳ featuring : fushiguro megumi + gojo satoru + nanami kento from jujutsu kaisen

↳ warnings : grammar issues

↳ form : headcanons

↳ published : 06 april

↳ pronouns : she/her

↳ request : Hello!! I love your writing esp for jjk! I was wondering if I could please get a classic black coffee? Specifically headcannons for tension when sparring w Nanami, Megumi, and Gojo. They have feelings for fem!reader, no smut but they get flustered/nervous about being so close, etc??? :)❤️

↳ barista’s notes : today is the day that season 3 of fruits basket starts (we will hear fushiguro’s and gojo’s va again!!!) and childe’s banner arrives...when it hits 3am (since that’s when the game comes with the new commissions for me) i will be wishing all my primogems like there is no tomorrow...childe will be mine because he will be, there is no questioning it ʕ ꆤ ᴥ ꆤʔ i hope you enjoy your cup of classic black coffee and please come back soon!

When you and Fushiguro are sparring each other, he will go easy on you - to be honest, he doesn’t know if it is on purpose or he just naturally does.

Everyone will notice that Fushiguro is going easy on you and will tease him about it because “he doesn’t want his future girlfriend to get hurt~” - he will get irritated and Maki will tell him not to get distracted like that in real battles.

When it is you two alone, Fushiguro will once again go easy on you but he will get distracted more because there is no one that will comment on his unusual behaviour.

If you manage to get close to him (like face to face) he will blush and get really embarrassed because he has a crush on you.

This is when he gets most distracted because he will just admire you and realise many details on your face that he has missed like a beauty mark or how beautiful your eyes are up close.

You will comment on how easy he is going on your and Fushiguro will somehow make a really good excuse in the beginning. However, later on, he struggles to come up with one.

Overall, you and hIm are on the same level of being a sorcerer but the fact that you have now beaten him 5 times in a row is just something weird.

If you accidentally fall on top of him, Fushiguro will become extremely stiff with the reddest face that he has ever had but he will try to calm himself down before asking if you are okay.

As time goes along, Fushiguro will get more comfortable with you and will go back to his normal strength...but you can still tell he is being careful - if you get close to him, he somehow learn to conceal his emotions but on the inside his heart is beating as if he had just finished a car race...it’s that fast.

Overall, Fushiguro will be shy about it, but once you both get comfortable, training will get better but just know that Fushiguro will be distracted from time to time because of how flustered he will get and how beautiful you look.

During sparring sessions with Gojo, he will flirt and tease his way out of being flustered with you because he is Gojo Satoru - he also doesn’t want you to see him blushing.

Gojo will also use his humour to tease you on how “you can’t touch him” because of his infinity or how funny you look trying to take him down.

In the middle of a sparring fight, Gojo will also tell you how pretty you are while you are sweating (even though you feel like a disgusting mess).

You will get irritated by him because you want him to take the whole thing seriously, but in reality, Gojo doesn’t want to hurt you at all - but he doesn’t go easy on you at all.

When you get up close and personal with him, Gojo will have a goofy smile on his face and isn’t shy to show you because we all know he is a confident man.

Gojo will then, once again, compliment you and will be brave enough to tap on your lips/cheek/forehead because if you are going to be this close to him, let him get some skin-to-skin touch.

If someone is watching your little session, they wouldn’t know that Gojo has a little crush on you since they think he is just being annoying to you.

Even his students wouldn’t have a clue that he has a crush on you since they just think that you and him are close friends even though they do wonder why you are friends with him.

At the end of the sparring session, if you ask Gojo about those comments that he made about you, he will make the excuse of them being distractions since some of them did make you halt leading you to lose a few times.

Overall, Gojo is good at hiding his crush on you since it is camouflage with his general personality, but please know that he means every compliment/comment he makes towards you - yes even the teasing ones.

Sparring sessions with Nanami will seem normal at first because of how stern and nonchalant he is - but when time goes by, you will notice some small but noticeable things about him.

He will take the time to prepare to face you because he doesn’t want to crack when you are in the room with him and he knows that you both need to take the session seriously because it’s basic training.

In the beginning, Nanami will seem detached since he wants to remove personal feelings from work because being a sorcerer isn’t something that can lead to a normal life.

You will notice this and will question him about it since you both are colleagues but he will just say that it’s to construct a real battle atmosphere because you don’t know your enemy at all.

Nanami doesn’t go easy on you at all but you can tell he is limiting himself slightly since he is worried that he might hit you too hard.

However, over time (hehe) Nanami will open up more during the session and will sometimes admire you when you get close to him.

You wouldn’t see Nanami blush at all but you will notice a small twitch on the corner of his lips - like he was about to smile.

If you do get close to Nanami during one session, he will look at you with slightly widened eyes before concentrating back on what he was actually doing.

Nanami doesn’t crack at all, he is like the master of keeping a stern face on - he doesn’t try to cover it with something else like Gojo and he isn’t that shy like Fushiguro.

Overall, Nanami is adamant to keep personal feelings away from work and will keep his promise to that, there will be a few trips here and there but in the end, don’t expect him to announce his feelings this way.

© violettelueur 2021 : written and published by violettelueur - do not steal or repost

[whumpmatsus]

Yeah man like i said i have no idea how NSFW requests work XDD but ive been curious to ask esp since i usually see ppl ask some specific stuff in other fandoms and it makes me go," ...wait i wanna know how ppl can do that" XDD but thats okay! Thank you for explaining how these stuff works💕 ....hmm well since you work more on angst, i do have a nice idea for the choukei dynamic👀 its been something that has been on my mind and got me real curious.

Karamatsu and osomatsu falling for the same person, but the thing is the person of their interest has a crush on one of them and sees the other as more of best friend they can confide in. Now i debated with myself a whole lot and since osomatsu is the eldest.. seeing him step off accepting his role silently while watching the person he likes so dearly stay so far yet so near to him, encourage them to confess to karamatsu all while feeling his own chest tightening wanting to lament himself for not confessing sooner is just👀👌👌

it's all good!! no worries~ it varies between people I guess, haha, I mostly wanna keep my whump and heavy angst stuff on this blog, so for any requests that aren't painful or angsty, you can send those to my other blog @kisskissmatsu, including requests for NSFW stuff!! that's just my personal preference XD

THIS IS SO GOOD THO... I love that Choukei angst, it's SO good

I did some headcanons for this concept, it hurts so good!!

-

❤️ OSOMATSU ❤️and 💙 KARAMATSU 💙

When the whole thing first begins, Osomatsu thinks he’s pretty lucky to even be considered a friend by (Name), so he doesn’t complain too much. None of the sextuplets have that many friends outside family and, man, isn’t it just cool that they can hang out with someone like that? He just likes to be around them, having fun, and honestly, Karamatsu does too. They both just feel so relaxed and comfortable and themselves with this person.

Karamatsu falls first… or, at least, that’s how Osomatsu has to think of it. The truth is, the two of them probably fall for (Name) around the same time, and it’s impossible to tell who was ‘first’. Osomatsu needs to think of it like Karamatsu falling first, because if he does that, it’s easier for him to step aside, justifying to himself, My little brother fell for them first, so I can’t get in the way.

Especially, it’s almost certain that (Name) sees Osomatsu more as a best friend and Karamatsu is their crush, just due to the fact that Karamatsu oozes charm in every interaction with them while Osomatsu is much more laidback. Karamatsu acts like a potential romantic partner, while Osomatsu acts more like a potential friend. Even though the perfect rule would be that a romantic partner should be a friend first, Osomatsu still thinks that since their mind jumped right to Karamatsu as a crush first, there’s more there for the two of them than there would be for Osomatsu and (Name). He can see how they look at Karamatsu versus how they look at him. It’s… only proper for him to let Karamatsu have the first shot, isn’t it?

It’s hell for him to push (Name) into confessing to Karamatsu. It’s pure hell. He cares for them so much and would want nothing more than to tell them just how much he wants to be able to hold them and kiss them and take them out on dates and all that sappy romantic shit. But… not only do they like Karamatsu, he feels guilty even for that. What kind of big brother would play ‘steal-yo-babe’ with someone his little brother likes?? He’s already the shitty eldest, and that would make him extra shitty because he knows both of them have feelings for each other. He’s not gonna be a dick and step on his baby brother’s toes like that. So he nudges at (Name), in little bits, telling them how he’s heard Karamatsu writing a song for them or talking all lovesick to him about them. “He likes you, and I’m pretty sure you like him, so why don’t you just go for it, y’know?”

For him, it really sucks. It hurts so bad, like a weight on his chest, and he could just kick himself for not telling (Name) about his own feelings. Even though he knows he has the right to be happy too, he doesn’t think it should come at Karamatsu’s expense. Karamatsu gets enough shit already, he deserves a fucking win for once. So Osomatsu suffers in silence, not saying a damn word to anyone. Not even any of his other brothers, not his parents, probably not even Totoko who he feels like he can talk to about anything. He just feels like bitching about it makes him selfish because he shouldn’t act like this is all about him.

Of course, Karamatsu tries to act like he doesn’t really know what’s going on. He’s horrible at communication sometimes, so it might seem like he’s oblivious, but… he sort of understands what his big brother is doing for him. He’s grateful for it, because it’s not often he gets the first shot at someone that more than one of them has a crush on. He’s forever the underdog, and having someone throw him a fucking bone for once means a lot to him. Particularly because it’s his older brother trying to give him a chance with (Name). It’s something he really, truly appreciates.

All things being equal, Karamatsu does his best to make the most of the chance Osomatsu is giving him. He’s the ideal gentlemen for this person, opening doors and kissing their hand and showering them with romantic gestures at every opportunity. If Osomatsu is around, he may try to tone it down a bit; though, that’s hard for someone like Karamatsu to do. He just doesn’t want it to seem like he’s rubbing it in Osomatsu’s face now that he’s seizing the opportunity. It’s… also difficult when (Name) initiates things, because if they lean in for a kiss, it’s not like he can just not go with his feelings. He melts into them quite a bit, even when he doesn’t mean to go so far.

Osomatsu doesn’t even change his behavior around (Name), despite the fact that he’s drowning in his own regret. He has to keep being their dutiful friend, to be there for them no matter what. Because when all is said and done, regardless of his romantic feelings for them, he loves being their friend too much to mess that up. If that’s all he can be… well. That’s just gonna have to be enough, isn’t it? He’ll just have to make it enough.

[authoratmidnight]

I keep meaning to ramble about the new chapters but I keep forgetting so, batch ramble time!

Spoilers ahead for Iruma-kun manga! (chapters 217 to 220)

So, starting with the Familiar summoning chapters 217-219.

I noticed a fair number of ppl didn’t like how that mini arc ended but like, i feel like it was kind of a given.

It was established as early as ch 2 that when the ritual used for a demon summoning a familiar is the same one that humans use to summon a demon. So like, it was pretty much a given that Iruma was going to summon a demon again as his familiar. And imo there was no way it wasn’t going to be Kalego.

1) because fluffy Eggy is like, the cute mascot character and a huge merch seller so why would you get rid of him? He’s popular

2) Iruma was going to get a familiar by the end one way or another. Either he resummoned Kalego before the 13 hours was up for one reason or another, or he preformed a new summon after, but it was going to happen. So not getting a familiar wasn’t an option, and if Iruma had to summon again, it was bound to go the same way as the first summon b/c

3) Kalego was overseeing the summoning, so even if he evaded the resummon during the 13 hours (which he did), he was going to get resummoned, see the point above about the ritual. It /was/ slightly different this time as Iruma didn’t use his seal (as he did for the first summon) but a blank one, but the result was still the same (it just grabbed the closest demon this time instead of the one whose seal was used)

So like, the outcome was a given from the start.

But, I don’t hate it.

One thing that puts it apart from the first time it happened is, Iruma and Kalego have a better understanding of each other now. They’ve had a whole year to understand each other better. And it shows in Kalego trusting Iruma enough to tell him that he does not have a familiar. HE. Naberius Kalego, one of the highest ranked teachers and probably one of the strongest as well and arguably one of the stongest characters overall, doesn’t have something as basic as a familiar. And for him to confide this fact in another person, in IRUMA who he claims to hate, is huge.

So I’m fine with Kalego being his familiar again. Also, since this summon was done AFTER the 13 hours was up that means it’s not a permanent contract but a 1 year one. Which means it can be broken again. :3c

Chapter 220 tho. oh man.

I was excited b/c finally we get to see torture class with Marbas sensei. Didn’t expect new teachers. and i sure didn’t expect them to be Shiida and Atori. I’ve been wondering for a while when we’d see any of the Six Fingers again (we did see Wett back at the end of the HF but that was it) and well, we got’em.

I do wonder how they got the jobs tho. Like, the positions are clearly meant to be specifically for training the Misfits, they said as much. And a teaching job, esp at a school like Babyls doesn’t seem like the kind where you just roll up and ‘eyy o I want a job’. Did someone recommend them for the positions? And if so who? I’m curious to see if these’ll be answered at any point.

Man tho. The ‘Shiida joins Iruma’s harem’ jokes sure aged like milk huh?

I mean no shade if that’s your thing, I just know a lot of ppl are squicked out by age gaps that large/by student-teacher pairings, and I know I saw a lot of jokes/comments about Iruma/Shiida, esp recently since the anime covered Walter Park.

Also, like, I gotta say this cause it’s bothering me but, ya’ll DO realize they probably have false profiles and backgrounds created for the purposes of things like background checks, right? ‘How did they get in?’ ‘Did no one do background checks’ DO YOU HONESTLY THINK THEY’RE GONNA HAVE THEIR AFFILIATION WITH THE SIX FINGERS THAT OUT IN THE OPEN????? BRO. It’s a secret terrorist org, they’re not just gonna, openly advertise being a part of something like that lmao.

[shinjaeha]

ipytm ep 2 (thoughts + spoilers)

i’ve been trying my hardest to forget about iptym during the week so the countdown to each new ep won’t feel as long, but i don’t think i’ve succeeded. with each new ep i feel more and more nervous and excited bc i know the conflict and angst is only going to keep ramping up as the series goes on (and this ep was a good indication of that...not FULL BLOWN angst yet, but the undercurrent of angst is slowly starting to come to the surface). i’m def more prepared for it than i was during itsay, but that doesn’t make it easy ;;;

the standard ‘this is not a proper analysis’ here...i’m completely aware that this post in particular is really messy, but i just had a lot of mixed feelings and thoughts with this ep. one day i will learn how to condense my thoughts better, but today is not that day so i’m doing this under a read more for once bc it’s embarrassingly long 😂

we start off with teh in acting class where his teacher is explaining how you need to be able to understand yourself before you’re able to understand other people (and therefore put yourself in the shoes of the character you’re playing)...which even before i knew where this ep was going to go felt a lot like foreshadowing for the events that were going to unfold in this ep.

the acting exercises are basically a lot like the ones that we see bkpp (and the rest of the cast) having to do as part of their workshops in the documentary eps, so it’s kind of cool to see them incorporate parts of that into the actual show itself. feels more authentic since, if you’ve watched the documentary eps, you know that this is actually what the actors have to go through when they’re learning to let themselves go and get into character.

so through this montage of all of teh’s classes, we get to see how much he’s enjoying learning more and more about his major. it’s truly his passion, and he’s finally in his element. and it’s great that he’s surrounded by so many seniors that are also as driven and passionate about performing as he is...i find it interesting how teh, even from the start, has always been most attracted to people that have the same sense of ambitiousness as he does. in itsay, his best friend (aside from oh-aew obv) was tarn, who had a very similar mindset as him. so here, it’s not really that much of a surprise that all his uni friends are basically the drama club seniors that he sees as role models. oh-aew is kind of that one outlier bc he doesn’t fit that same mould/personality type that teh tends to surround himself with, which is where you can already start to see the discord between them arising. in itsay, bc oh-aew was working towards the same end goal as teh at the time, it wasn’t as much of a conflict. but in ipytm we can see that their paths are starting to diverge more and more. that being said, oh-aew’s someone that teh truly needs in his life bc he offers a different perspective to most of teh’s other friends, and as we can see later on, teh REALLY needs that.

now THIS was one of the interactions i was really interested in. we already knew from the ep 2 teaser that teh isn’t exactly happy with oh-aew’s new friend group, so i’ve been waiting to see how teh acts when he’s around them. everyone’s at q’s house celebrating plug’s birthday, and honestly?? they’re all really sweet and accommodating of teh (they get him sweet drinks bc teh tells them that he doesn’t drink bc it’s too bitter, and they don’t pressure him when he says he can’t drink bc he’s got morning classes). but then the conversation turns to teh and oh-aew becoming actors and earning lots of money (and how convenient that is), and teh starts to get a little riled up. i don’t think they mean anything by what they’re saying (they’re just playing around), but we know that teh's sensitive to this sort of thing, and i think to him, it’s almost like they’re saying it’s ‘easy’ to become an actor and start making bank. teh, who already knows how hard it is (esp since he’s been watching how difficult it’s been for khim in particular), starts getting defensive about it. the focus being on money hits a nerve with him too bc teh is very clearly majoring in comm arts bc it’s his dream, not bc of the money he could make from it. teh and oh-aew’s gang are just on different wavelengths, and you can really start to see how teh’s having trouble bonding with oh-aew’s gang bc of their differing mindsets.

it makes me slightly sad that you can see how worried oh-aew is about teh and his friends not meshing. it’s like we, the audience, are all feeling what oh-aew is feeling...his nervous glances at teh bc he’s afraid that teh might not like them. and the discomfort on teh’s part too. all of oh-aew friends tend to be a lot more like him, relaxed and happy to go with the flow, but we know that teh can be pretty rigid and intense about the things that he’s passionate about. oh-aew recognises this, which is why he’s as anxious as he is in the first place.

oh-aew’s tea tattoo in honour of teh is actually so sweet 😭 it shows how much teh means to him. he really got a permanent mark on his body to symbolise his love for his boyfriend ;;; but from teh’s perspective, it’s literally that first mark of change. it IS a pretty big decision, so i don’t blame teh for being shocked about it, but teh likely sees this as oh-aew’s friends being a ‘bad’ influence on him (which we know gets brought up again later). not bc of the tattoo itself, but bc of what it represents. it’s like he’s watching oh-aew start to change before his very eyes and he doesn’t know how to deal with that so he brushes it away for now.

the framing of that shot where teh and oh-aew are facing each other and then q comes to walk in between them is A LOT like how they used to frame the both of them in itsay and having bas walk in between them. interesting.

HOW MUCH DO I LOVE THE FACT THAT OH-AEW SPEAKS CHINESE WHEN HE’S DRUNK...that’s just plain adorable :’) it’s like he’s reverting back to when teh was teaching him chinese and they were first falling in love again. teh’s method of getting close to him was always tutoring oh-aew in chinese, so it’s as though oh-aew is trying to feel closer to teh again by speaking chinese to him. sort of like he’s trying to recreate that feeling all over again. i also love that this is basically the opposite of that oppo short film ad bkpp did haha.

we got the “ke yi ma” “ke yi” again ;;;;;;;; i love their little domestic moments. they’re so soft when they’re like this (i know we’re gonna have to weather the angst, but i hope we still have a lot more fluffy moments like this too pls). side note, i really love the lighting in these scenes!!

when oh-aew reads teh’s note about the kimchi jjigae and smiles but then reads the “do not skip class” and his smile fades away...oh, oh-aew, i feel u.

so now we get to see oh-aew in acting class, and the difference between oh-aew’s feelings towards class and teh’s feelings are like night and day. teh’s classes make him feel so fulfilled...this is genuinely something that he wants to do. but oh-aew is struggling. he doesn’t have that same sense of purpose as teh bc he’s starting to realise that this might not be what he really wants...he’s trying but just not enjoying it at all. when teh tells him about the casting call, i feel so much dread for him bc he’s clearly not looking forward to it whatsoever, but he knows how much this means to teh...so he’s willing to ignore his feelings for now if teh’s happy :(

is it just me or was this when oh-aew stopped carrying his ‘heart attack’ bag too??

idk this struggle in particular just feels so personal to me. i really identify with oh-aew when it comes to this bc when i was at uni i changed my major like 3-4 times (and changed unis a bunch of times on top of that) bc i had NO IDEA what i wanted to do. even now, i still have no clue what i’m doing a lot of the time. i’m glad that oh-aew at least managed to find some sort of clarity when he dropped in on his friends’ advertising class and realised that this was something that he enjoyed and was good at :’)

teh’s so excited and focussed on this audition that he can’t even see how worried and reluctant that oh-aew is about this. he wants them to have the same dream so bad that he can’t see that this might not be oh-aew’s dream anymore. but anyway, oh-aew is the sweetest, best boy as always. he’s so, so encouraging with teh. so patient. he really such a great balance to teh’s more volatile nature...but that contrast is also what makes you feel so bad for him when teh lashes out at him without thinking (as he’s prone to doing).

i LOVE khim. i just have so much respect for her. she’s always trying her hardest, and it’s painful to see her give so much of herself yet constantly be knocked down. the resilience that takes. i know that that’s part of the industry she’s in, but that doesn’t make it any easier to watch. there’s a lot to be said about how harsh the entertainment industry can be (and the inherent ageism/sexism/homophobia within it), which i don’t have the time to go into here, but having to hear criticism like that...purely based on your looks (you don’t look smart enough, young enough, manly enough, etc.) is so incredibly disheartening. teh commenting on how harsh it is, and khim saying that it’s super common and telling the both of them how they’re gonna have to go through all of that the more casting calls they go to...OF COURSE oh-aew is only going to feel even more dispirited about this when he’s already realising that this might not be his thing anymore.

being able to take rejection and criticism is really fucking difficult (i know i could never do it)...and seeing oh-aew being told that he’s not ‘manly’ enough/too ‘girly’ in acting class and again at the casting call is yet another knock at his confidence. the way you physically see oh-aew get more flustered and anxious as the audition goes on, when he sees the crew shaking their heads at him :((( i feel all the nervousness, anxiety and embarrassment that he’s feeling right down to my very bones. then to walk out from that audition to khim talking about how damn hard it is to keep doing this time and time again only to be continually rejected?? my poor boy :( what’s fascinating to me is how differently the both of them interpret khim’s speech. teh latches on to her words and sees them as motivation to keep going...to keep trying and persevering. like a challenge. but to oh-aew, he just sees the difficulty and rejection. the instability of this career path, and how hard this could potentially be on his family as well. they’re both hearing completely different things.

teh being so happy about his audition even though he didn’t get the part and the way he turns around to face oh-aew directly when oh-aew tells him they said he was “too girly” and how he couldn’t change his personality to be what they wanted :((( pls. i just want to hug him so bad. teh’s ��i like you the way you are now” and reassurance that so many other people do too  😭i know he kind of makes a mess of himself later on, but i’m still so glad that oh-aew got to hear that from him at least.

this show is the best at making you feel all that nervousness and anxiety when any of the characters are about to drop some big news. i was waiting with bated breath when oh-aew told teh he wanted to transfer majors. it makes me sad though that oh-aew has to constantly feel like he’s walking on eggshells when it comes to teh...he’s always most worried about teh’s reaction, and that’s prob the main reason why he didn’t opt out of comm arts even earlier. but oh-aew has all these mounting doubts about his major, and there’s only so long he can stick it out for teh’s sake, and the casting call (and khim’s words) really solidified that for him.

teh’s "you haven’t given it your all”/”you haven’t done your best” rubs me the wrong way bc it’s easy to think that way when you’re set on something and know that that’s what you want to do...but when you’re doubting/not sure about something, it just isn’t the same thing. we all have different thresholds when it comes to what we can endure and how much we can put into something. teh’s a hard worker, we’ve seen how dedicated he can be when he really wants something, but not everyone works like this. not everyone can be a teh or a khim. and esp not when they’re having to give their all to something that doesn’t feel right for them. and oh-aew’s right...sometimes once is enough to know that something’s not a fit for you.

when oh-aew mentions that he sat in on advertising class and thinks he might be into it, it’s like a parallel of that scene when they’re kids and oh-aew told teh that he wanted to become an actor like him. only now it’s the opposite. teh’s had this plan in his head that he and oh-aew are going to reach their dream of becoming actors and the lead protagonists in a movie/series together for so long now that it’s hard for him to reconcile that oh-aew might no longer want this as much as he does anymore. it’s like he can see this ultimate goal of his crumbling. so just hearing that it’s bc of q and the rest of the gang’s ‘influence’ that oh-aew sat in on their advertising class in the first place (and this triggered his interest in advertising) is like strike two for teh vs. oh-aew’s friends.

i’ve def mentioned this before, but oh-aew has always been the more pragmatic of the two, whilst teh is more idealistic, so i understand why he would gravitate towards something that was more stable of a career for him. more of a guarantee. he knows that advertising/marketing suits him better (not to mention that he’s always had the resort as his safety to fall back on too), and it’s something that he’s discovering he actually enjoys more in general too.

when i first watched this, i was like “oh wow teh’s matured so much!!” bc he didn’t blow up at oh-aew during this scene...that kind of ended up backfiring on me towards the end, but at the same time, i do think there’s a certain level of growth there since he does end up trying to reassure oh-aew (even if the blow up still occurs later on). it’s a process though...and even baby steps are progress.

8 months later and teh’s walking past that same place he and oh-aew walked by during his first night in bangkok...only now the poster is no longer the same red one. it’s blue... as though it’s signifying that this is just teh’s dream alone now, and teh clearly still hasn’t come to terms with that yet.

i’m really happy seeing oh-aew in a much better place now!! it’s so good to see him happy and actually involved in uni with his friends. but watching teh struggle going through casting calls and rejections makes my heart ache. hearing khim’s experience with auditions, and actually having to experience it irl, are two entirely different things. it’s like the reality of the situation is starting to hit in for teh. and that, on top of oh-aew not being there to support him in the same way bc their goals in life aren’t similarly aligned anymore, is starting to take its toll.

god, when teh lined oh-aew and was waiting for his response i was like nooooo don’t do it DON’T DO IT only for him to open ig to check oh-aew’s story 😭(though it IS cute that they have couple pfps). but we’re regressing. and now that they have different social circles it’s even harder to connect than before. teh feels like oh-aew’s being pulled away from him, into another friend group that doesn’t include him...and his insecurities are bubbling to the surface again. teh’s always needed that reassurance that he’s ‘special’ to oh-aew. clearly, we know that he is...but even now that they’re dating, it’s still something that he questions. and esp now that oh-aew is starting to feel like he’s fading further and further away out of reach.

i love seeing all of teh’s friends encourage him. they all understand how tough it is, and to see them all pull together to lift his spirits again is so lovely. but then his mood completely changes again when oh-aew comes to join them for dinner :( teh’s doing that thing again where he says everything’s fine when everything’s not fine (cue that “they ask you how you are and you just have to say you’re fine when you’re not really fine” meme). the flash to teh’s face when top says that he didn’t pass the exam to get into anantasart, and you know he’s just thinking about how he gave up his spot for oh-aew initially, and now that oh-aew’s transferred, it’s kind of like he’s turned it down twice. oof.

when teh tells them all that oh-aew’s transferred to advertising, it’s as though this is his way of trying to separate both his worlds. like oh-aew doesn’t belong here with his drama club friends, and it’s that pettiness that we got from teh in itsay is back in full force all over again. it reminds me so much of that time oh-aew told the itsay gang that he was a virgin, and so teh told his friends at school that he was a virgin too. or when oh-aew sent him that picture of his and bas’ legs touching, so teh retaliated by putting that pic of tarn on his story and leaning in to kiss her. it’s like he always needs to one up oh-aew. he doesn’t want oh-aew to feel the same bond with his drama club friends that teh has (esp when he sees that oh-aew is so close to his uni friends). where oh-aew was anxious about teh and his uni friends not getting on, teh is anxious that oh-aew and his drama club friends will get on too well so he has to create this distinction between them. kind of like his petty attempt to be all “i have my own friends too!!”, but it’s also combined with that feeling of inadequacy that he might not fit into oh-aew’s life anymore. he might not be ‘special’. idk if that makes sense but basically i think that teh’s feeling a lot of conflicting things during this scene.

when he starts attacking oh-aew at dinner...that was really hard to watch. you ever feel like you want to reach through the screen and just put your hand over someone’s mouth so they stop talking?? it was rough :/ it’s one thing to fight when it’s just the two of you alone, but it’s another thing to tear your partner down right in front of your friends. i understand teh’s feelings (and i know that they’ve been building up over this time), but my frustration was through the ROOF during this. it’s on brand for him, but still. and then poor khim :( i know oh-aew didn’t mean it in that way but the awkwardness of this entire dinner was just overwhelming.

another thing that’s sad about what teh said about oh-aew is that this is a huge sore spot for oh-aew, and it’s always been one of his biggest insecurities. the reason they stopped being friends when they were kids was bc teh said that he was going to quit eventually, so for teh to talk about how “shilly shally and indecisive” he is/how easily he ‘quits’ at things is a low blow when he already knows how much those words hurt oh-aew.

teh has a habit of jumping to conclusions based on oh-aew’s social media posts instead of actually talking things out with oh-aew so naturally it would make an appearance again here as well. and calling oh-aew’s friends “shitty” bc they’re different to him (aren’t as driven as teh and his drama club gang...therefore a bad influence on oh-aew) makes it really evident that teh still has a lot to learn. he really needs to start taking those acting class lessons to heart so he can see that not everyone is the same, and that other peoples’ experiences and perspectives are valid too.

teh’s long pause and “maybe” to oh-aew’s “and if this is what i really am, you’re not gonna like me anymore, are you?” BIG SIGH. it’s so typical of teh. i know he’s honest to a fault, but he REALLY needs to learn to think before he speaks sometimes bc he always ends up regretting it. i love that impulsivity of his, but it’s also one of the most frustrating things about him.

one thing that i find kind of annoying with the time skip is that we miss so much of teh’s festering feelings that it’s a bit harder to empathise with him when he has his eventual blow up?? i think if we were seeing this more consistently, it would be much easier for us to understand things from his pov better. like if we could slowly see this building up more and more as time went on, rather than just time skipping the 8 months until the blow up.

anyway, now khim and top are graduating ;;; i really hope that we’ll still get to see more of them in the next eps. i also love how the people in teh’s life are always so concerned for him (and how oh-aew’s doing). the message behind the book teh gets for khim’s graduation present is really sweet.

when khim first tells them that she’s going to be a flight attendant and teh blows up, i felt really angry at him initially. but upon reflection and rewatching this ep again...i think i understand where he’s coming from a lot better now. obv i still think he was out of line bc of course what khim’s saying makes sense...she can’t keep going to casting calls and scraping by with minor roles when she has to support herself and her family. in the end, we all need money to survive, and sometimes we have to be realistic about it. i really loved what she said about how we can have multiple dreams at once. but yeah, my heart really went out for her so much here :( it might be difficult for teh to see (or accept) rn, but he’s a lot more privileged than he realises. he still has hoon and his mother to support him financially, but not everyone is in the same position. not everyone gets to be as lucky.

regardless, i still understand why teh gets as torn up about it as he does. khim is someone that he’s looked up to and respected SO much...and his own doubts and insecurities have been steadily increasing. first, oh-aew changes majors, then, he keeps getting rejected at auditions, and now, the senior that he respects the most bc of her hard work and determination, is giving up her dream (at least in his eyes) to become a flight attendant. it’s like the world keeps telling him to give up bc it’s not going to work out for him. and he’s invested EVERYTHING into this dream. it’s all or nothing for him. but it’s like everyone else is slipping away, and it’s getting harder and harder to hold onto.

when teh looks at the tie and is reminded of oh-aew always being there to put it on for him :(((((((( ngl i was hoping that teh would be the first one to approach oh-aew (since their fight was bc of him), but i’m glad he apologised at least. and that they had a good talk about their feelings. but then again, this reflection after their fights is what they’ve always been fairly good at. teh just has to learn to stop internalising things so much that he ends up exploding so they don’t get to this point in the first place. so much has flipped from the first ep where oh-aew was the one feeling lonely and out of place. now it’s teh’s turn to feel all alone as he sees everyone’s dreams and goals (but his) start to change. like everyone is moving on and learning to adjust while he’s being left behind.

when they’re promising each other that their love for one another will never change, it just makes me feel so SAD. seeing them in the moonlight like this compared to the first ep when they were on the beach in phuket and teh was so hopeful and oh-aew was so worried :( everything’s already changed so much. making this promise under the moon like this reminds me of how bkpp kept talking about how the ‘ipytm’ title itself means an impossible promise...the two of them hugging in the moonlight as the score plays just feels so painfully bittersweet somehow ;;; my heart is aching, and i want the next ep, but i can’t deny that my anxiety is slowly building.

anyway, i know the end of this sounds so negative but i’m still banking on our teh/oh-aew endgame!!!!!!! it just needs to get worse to get better, and there’s still so much space for them to grow and learn. so many more experiences in store for them.

[dirtyrottenraskel]

my take on yueki's personalities

yue 

notes / personality

cocky (but also like understated confidence - r e g a l af) 

kind of a nerd

maybe a little entitled, and a little bratty and suki loves to indulge her or to rile her up depending on her mood

books

seems soft but made of steel

strong sense of duty

socially intelligent - can be manipulative and suki (the dork) thinks it is so hot 

aloof queen bee typa beat

supportive, both in ur day to day and in going after your big moral life goals 

deep water - steady and powerful, often underestimated

untold depths, private yet surprisingly nurturing - master of deflecting away from herself

political nerd - well read, and when she has someone she trusts not to take advantage of her, she goes OFF 

distrusting of most people, has been used and ignored and underestimated her whole life

patient - homegirl knows how to play the long game

excellent at pai sho / chess 

she and suki have epic battles of wits - dif types of strategy but both are really into it and get a little too competitive (multiple board games have had to be replaced over the years)

loves travel bc wasn’t allowed to much, esp when she was sick 

was super repressed growing up - never let her be herself or really have any sort of independence

used to sneak out and wander around in rebellion and casually sabotage plans and decisions she didn’t agree with 

introverted, many opinions but keeps them to herself, discreet but well spoken

weaponizes secrets and information - doesn’t often use it but...she could

definitlyyyyy worries and overthinks and re-evaluates - worries ab social politics a lot

obsessive about picking things - wants it to be perfect

shes growing into her confidence as a leader

prefers quite intimate places

incredibly romantic

classic lit

planner for the future - visionary

kind / sweet / gentle - yes, but that’s also her “front” to a degree (seriously, i feel like she gets painted as so sweet and submissive and one dimensional by the fandom a lot of times and it freakin kills me)

INFJ-T (The Advocate) ((yes this is from 16p which i know is not super accurate but u can still catch her overall vibes from it ya know)

Creative/insightful/principled/compassionate/altruistic

sensitive/reluctant to open up/perfectionist/prone to burnout/not a fan of the ordinary

friendships / relationships

(<> indicates that they’re one of her best friends)

sokka - puppy love crushes, laugh ab it now, get into deep late night talks about responsibilities and leading, water tribe culture, prank wars (no one believes sokka when he says yue is a mean prank master (expect suki comes to see it in action lol))

katara - <> badass women friendship, totally would go to matches and protests together, tough girl shit, waterbending practice/duels - start of cautious, but then get rough in a good way bc they trust each other, they do water tribe food adventures together

toph - indulges her chaos, bonding over stupid royal upbringings, odd yet weirdly endearing pair

zuko - both sort of standoffish gay royals, but once they come to see that they are friends - take up similar spaces though, so only hang out in a group or rarely by themselves, they do hang out at like political parties and stuff when they get more comfortable together

aang - <> he has an impressive world view, yue is super studied and well read, so she and aang nerd out over past cultures together, and also their peace keeping nature, they have tea together often - usually after she and katara wipe the floor w/ each other

clothing / aesthetic:

blues and pale colors

classy and understated wealth

like those cute feminine button down shirts

dresses

like cold weather classy

complicated braids

sort of soft girl aesthetic?

pleated skirts !!!

i feel like she would wear ethically sourced fur (i don’t wear fur but idk how to get it in an ethical way - maybe it’s just fake??)

knit sweaters and skinny jeans and heeled ankle boots

light academia !!!

hella funky earrings - to mark her native pride and also cuz gay

from my readings, tattoos have a lot of cultural significance for Inuit women, and so i feel like yue would totally have some (when she comes of age ofc) 

suki

notes / personality 

extroverted 

also very strategic 

more spontaneous tho - will totally calculate the odds in a spilt second in her head and then just go for it

like still a careful planner, but willing to say fuck it, yolo if it seems right 

reflects on her mistakes, but more in like a healthy way - unless it was a leadership mistake, then it eats her up inside - worries more ab keeping her girls safe and making the right call

likes lively places

total bashful romantic

manages the present and the short term - realist

loves to do lists 

a little punch happy - loves to make violent threats, but also does it out of excitement and she’s just a really physical person tbh

steady, can come off as stubborn and abrasive but she really just wants what’s best for everyone she loves

harsh on herself and worries about her girls a lot 

always ends up in the oddest situations 

totally would kick someone’s ass for being racist/sexist/homophobic/etc 

dedicated to her training and her regime 

not a great cook, but she can manage 

would drink monsters 

has a weird relationship with femininity - took her awhile to reconcile strength and toughness and being assertive and aggressive with also wanting to feel pretty and feminine and embracing being a girl and how those things can coincide and amplify each other

abandonment issues - parents absent/dead 

was imprisoned - obvi she had several almost successful escape attempts, but she got really close to breaking 

was incredibly independent really early, grew up really fast and tries to make up for that now by sometimes being reckless 

tough/assertive/woman of action 

dry sense of humor/sarcastic - not good at nickname/pun humor tho

practical/dedicated/strong-willed/direct/honest/reliable/loyal/patient

stubborn/judgmental/difficult to relax/difficulty expressing emotions/too selfless 

friendships / relationships

(<> indicates that they’re one of her best friends)

sokka - <>  man they’re like platonic soulmates - she beat him up, and now they spar all the time, totally funny and crack jokes all the time, go skating together, they do shitty art together, and then show their lovers after zuko and yue come back from their high society mixers, broke her out of prison, m/f friendship !!! 

katara - also sparring buddies (suki will throw down at any literally moment (and tbh so will katara)), not close but will hang in a group - go to each other for advice 

toph - <> listen these two wreak havoc together, they help each other out a lot, i feel like they’re shopping buddies (similar enough style to frequent the same shops) toph knows suki won’t judge her for wanting to feel pretty and suki knows toph will be honest, they are both blunt sarcastic assholes and get along like a house on fire 

zuko - <> shows zuko how to like,,,enjoy things (and how to let go of some of that pressure to be always right and the adult and in charge bc they were raised with so much responsibility on their shoulders even tho they were just kids)? she is also super protective of him (once she trusts him), one of the only ppl who can match suki fully in hand to hand combat, both do the Disappointed Parent Look when the group falls into chaos, but by themselves, the two of them end up in hijinks

aang- suki enjoys his optimism and they’re just chill bros, they love exploring abandoned placed together 

clothing / aesthetic

sporty and skater mixed 

ripped jeans, crewnecks, vans 

green and yellow and dark red 

gym clothes/athleisure - lifting style gym clothes - cut off t-shirts and bike shorts

skirts too, likes to play into femininity

she’s a gold jewelry kinda girl - but stuff that won’t hinder her movements 

necklaces that end in the hollow of her throat & occasionally rings

definitely cuffs all of her jeans (it’s just bisexual culture ya know)

so many crop tops - some came like that, some were more of a diy project

yueki’s relationship!!!

nerd/jock solidarity 

feel the burden of responsibility and the weight on their shoulders 

they create a safe space between them, full of trust and warmth and vulnerability 

yue will read suki sappy passages from poetry books while suki polishes her fans 

they slow dance in the kitchen a lot 

they get good at ordering takeout - and they have some weird decision making process that only they understand - bc neither of them are great cooks 

yue would feel jealous of suki and sokka, if it weren’t for how stupid in love sokka was with zuko and yue can see that suki really only has eyes for her 

yue is taller than suki and it amuses her to no end to pick suki up and carry her away from a fight (we all know suki could get away if she wanted to, but when ur hot tall sexy gf throws u over her shoulder,,,,,,u don’t complain)

joke they’ve adopted kataang and zukka, bc they’re all dummies, but in reality every last one of them is stupid LMAO 

they love to do each other’s hair and it’s like super intimate and really cute 

sometimes it’s these epic elaborate hairstyles and then at other times, they try to see how many ponytails they can fit on suki’s head and how many little braid yue can do 

they travel EVERYWHERE 

since yue is royalty and suki is her body guard,,,, well i mean, they totally have to see these kingdoms they are doing trade deals with in person 

it helps that they're friends with a lot of them 

they stay over in everything from camping so they can stargaze to ritzy hotels with hot tubs in the bathroom 

yue gives suki rocks she finds on all their travels and suki lines them up on their mantle around the pictures of them in increasingly weird locations 

suki loves guarding yue’s meetings bc she gets to watch her absolutely rip a new one into misogynistic old men and it never fails to bring her joy 

While yue doesn’t love getting attacked, the ruthless efficiency suki defends her with is like,,,,,stupid attractive 

[starshiplamaupin]

Garashir Nightbreed AU

I have to dump this out of my brain or I might just explode.

This morning I had a random thought of “what if the cast of DS9 were in the Nightbreed universe?”

Quickest summary of what Nightbreed is for those that don’t know: It’s body horror X-men

It’s the early 90s in a harbor city, strange things are happening, a war is being waged in the shadows, and young Dr. Bashir is about to be caught in the middle of it.

Dr. Julian Bashir: converted Nightbreed. Born “Natural”, he was changed into a ‘Breed at a young age when his parents took him to a mysterious man who was said to work miracles. The flesh on his hands and arms can pull away in tendrils and form tools, and it seems he might have some mild ESP. While he didn’t get the severe allergy to sunlight, he does get very weak and tired if he spends too much time in the daylight, so he compensates by working the night shift at the city’s emergency hospital.

Elim Garak: Nightbreed. Excommunicated member of the Cult of Cardassia. He lives in an abandoned clothing warehouse. He uses the leftover items to make himself some handsome outfits. When Julian is out walking one night to calm his nerves after almost accidentally revealing his secret nature, he is chased by a mugger into the abandoned warehouse. He is pounced on by the strange lizard-man, scaring away his would-be attacker. Garak can smell that Bashir is ‘Breed, and lets him live. The two form a friendship (and eventually more) over a love of reading, and the comfort of not having to hide their true nature from each other... well, Garak is still hiding plenty.

Benjamin Sisko: Natural? I haven’t decided what kind of position he might have, maybe head of the hospital? Either way, he knows what the Nightbreed are and he’s been helping a few of the locals who told him about a mysterious legend called The Path of the Worm. He’s been receiving prophetic dreams about things hidden in this city, and knows he cannot fight the role he has been cast in by powers beyond his understanding.

Kira Nerys: Nightbreed. A member of a local group of ‘Breed that was preyed upon by the Cult. If she needs to blend in with the Naturals she can put a bandage over her nose. She trusts Ben, but very few other outsiders. I picture her with maybe a few more cat-like features, idk, it just looks cute in my head. Kitty Nerys..

Jadzia Dax: Nightbreed. Her spots shift subtly with her movements, creating a hypnotic effect. I’m not sure how to incorporate the several lifetimes...

Worf: Nightbreed. He drives the group’s van, which he named the Defiant.

O’Brien: Natural. Radiologist? He works at the hospital too, and he is Julian’s best friend and confidant. He doesn’t learn about all this Nightbreed business until much later, to which his only reaction is “jaysus”...

Quark: Natural. Owns the bodega across from the hospital. He knows more than he lets on, but who cares? So long as the local monsters can pay, they can stay.

Rom: Natural. Janitor at the hospital. He has an aptitude for machines and is taking classes in engineering.

Nog: Natural. He was quite the hooligan as a kid, but a little military school changed that. He is now a cadet at the nearby base. When he was running with the other troublemakers he would hear rumors about monsters that roamed the streets at night, and has even seen one of the lizard-men. Now at the base those rumors are ramped up even louder, other cadets talk of seeing strange figures in the woods and dare each other to spend the night in the abandoned cabin out there. He got the nickname “Nog” when he headbutted a guy, and his friends joked “that’s using your noggin!”

Leeta: Natural. Nurse at the same hospital Bashir works at. They had a brief fling, but both knew they were just lonely and keeping each other company. As a nurse she’s seen her fair share of strange things, but nothing tops the time she swears she saw Dr Bashir’s hand “morph”. She struggles to describe it and constantly second-guesses what she saw, after all there has to be a logical explanation for all of this.

Chief Odo: Natural. Chief of Police, and a descent of the city’s original founders. His family has kept up appearances, but he knows their secrets and it eats at him every day. He feels like he’s coming undone along with the order of the city. How can he stay sane, knowing what they are keeping in the vault?

Dukat: Nightbreed. Cult of Cardassia. He has fought to attain his status, to serve Mother Cardassia on an altar of bones and blood. He still has his weakness for pretty women, but sees Naturals as beneath Nightbreed. He seeks to find the corpse of their founder, the serpent Nightbreed that was known as Mother Cardassia, which disappeared over 100 years ago in the early days of this city.

The Cult of Cardassia was formed after the death of Mother Cardassia. She was huge serpent, thought said to possess a beautiful human face as well as that of a snake. She sought to carve out a space for her people, but it lead to a clash with the local Bajoran clan. After her death, her followers preserved her body and worshiped it. It is not certain when it started, but they would attack and raid both the Bajoran clan and the Natural city to make sacrifices of blood to her. Since the disappearance of her corpse, her followers have been occupied with finding it. Several clues keep coming back to The Path of the Worm, and a secret of the founding family.

I think that’s enough for now.

[mayadoesfandomstuff]

Okay, since I can't focus on school today despite the cramming I have to do, ig I'll work on that Hetalia Philippines headcanons list so here's some for now:

He actually thrives under a lot of things that are considered cringe. He doesn't care what people say, and his confidence shuts them up before they could say anything.

You bet that he was once a Jejemon and he wasn't ashamed at all!

He would take photos with you every time you meet even if you see each other often and regardless if he knows you well.

He expects you to post said photos almost immediately, tagged and captioned.

He plays a lot of basketball, mostly in Liga with some of the local guys around his current residence but he has been invited for a match at least once for the PBA.

He has also guested as a trainer in at least one Milo basketball training camp.

He would definitely wear a maid outfit without question. He thinks he looks cute and to hell with toxic masculinity.

He crushes on a lot of people and it does change quite frequently. He would often write songs about these people and eventually wrote a song about his many fleeting crushes. (This would be considered an OPM classic.)

He also plays a lot of instruments since he absolutely loves music. He thinks he also has a good voice regardless of training.

He likes learning different instruments no matter how strange they could be but in the absence of anything, he just makes do with any object around him to make sounds.

Aside from Pien, his tarsier, he has at least one dog that he takes care of that may or may not be his. Some of the dogs and cats he takes care of are just strays he likes feeding. They like following him around when he goes out his house.

About Historical Events and People

He only came around the start of the colonial period since there would be different kingdoms and countries before him to represent the ancient Philippine civilizations. Because of this, he's a bit insecure about himself as a country, but he's been successfully getting past that more recently.

He also looks up to a lot of the older or the OG Filipino countries and wants to learn more about the past, but they also have very conflicting memories or opinions about it much to his confusion.

He wasn't all too used to the different writing systems of the pre-colonial Philippines since he didn't really see it for too long or grew up with the writing systems, but he wanted to learn. This resulted in him ending up mixing different writing systems and letters since he tried studying them all at once.

When people ask him to write in Baybayin (the ancient Tagalog script) he has to constantly explain that he'd love to do it without reference, but he honestly can't bc of his mixed-up writing systems issue.

He genuinely thinks people overhyped Jose Rizal too much esp since he actually knew him (even if not too well, lives around the same time as him so). He respects him, of course, but he finds a little bit of irony knowing that Rizal wanted to have a pretty simple memorial after death yet a whole park is now dedicated to him in his grave (not to mention renaming a province after him too).

He also finds it funny how Rizal had such an influence even when he was still alive that people were claiming he did miracles.

He's kinda confused about the Rizalista cult though.

He has mixed feelings about historical films since he knows how inaccurate they are but it's been so long that his memory gets sorta mixed up. He doesn't rant and rave about it compared to the other nations, but some of the depictions either amuse him or upset him.

He doesn't like how divided some of his people are and how some of them fight over menial things. He also hates it when people would say uncalled for statements against people from different regions of the country.

Related to this, the regionalism reminds him of how fractured the rebellion was since there was a lot of regionalism in the Katipunan that he got annoyed of.

[infjparadox]

The types I know in real life - as an INFJ

The ISFJ father.  Growing up, he was a bit of a micro-manager, and both of us were so stubborn that our J clashed pretty hard, especially when he pushed me to complete scholarships and laborious things that would benefit my future.  He ALWAYS wanted to do some activity together (sports, outings, family gatherings, etc), and in my teen years, I just valued creative, independent pursuits (he didn’t understand the value in those hobbies at the time - now he’s my cheerleader).  Since graduating college, we’ve become good friends, although he still over-does and over-plans everything.  We share similar values regarding our interpersonal relationships and work, as well as a similar sense of humor, and I can get that intuitive conversation out of him by asking him to tell me stories about his childhood.   He’s a fantastic storyteller. 

The INFP mother.  My mother is a kind (but anxious) woman and a fantastic role model. She’s super creative, but also incredibly introverted.  I remember she’d often tell me to find a way to entertain myself growing up (probably driven mad by my intuitive inquisitions), and that led me to many of my independent hobbies, like drawing, music, and film. (And possibly resulted in a love language of quality time, lol I love attention).  As an adult, I can now claim her as my best friend.  We can talk for hours about the abstract, ideals, and emotions.  I tease her constantly, and we laugh ourselves to tears.  

The ENFJ sister.  Confident, idealistic, and a blogger type.  We don’t get along very well, but I blame it on her not being a very matured or healthy ENFJ (and she’s been diagnosed with OCD, so there’s that).  When she’s in a positive place, we joke that we have ESP because we always have similar thoughts / reactions to interactions (Ni) and we both enjoy a lot of the same hobbies and creative pursuits, but we value those experiences differently.  For example, she loves movies for the emotions and her ability to relate to the characters, while I love them for the storytelling, the script, the cinematography, the character arcs, etc.  She loves people and organizing parties / social events.  She’s also that person on Instagram sharing all the inspirational quotes.   

The ISFP boyfriend.  Charming, easygoing, and well-rounded. Appears as an extrovert to an outsider, but in reality, he just enjoys activities that engage the five senses and his close circle of friends. He’s the absolute best at living in the moment, and he knows how to pull me back to earth and to see the more rational, objective side of things.  Loves working with his hands, and has about 3 million hobbies, from skiing to biking to working on cars to making music to photography.  Sensitive to criticism, but loves playing the devil’s advocate.  Sometimes he can be incredibly impulsive, and other times, he’s hesitant to commit to future plans or big decisions (depends on what his Fi is telling him).  Values authenticity and independence above anything else.  Very capable of deep and stimulating conversation, but does better on lower rungs of the abstract ladder that are rooted in science, physics, conspiracy theories, politics, or something he can contribute facts and real world experience to.  Dislikes conflict and being put in a box.  Other than the INFP, the only other type who does not drain my energy tank.  I’m confident that we’ll be lifelong friends and soulmates, come what may.

The INFP friend.  We clicked instantly while studying abroad, and we were able to talk for hours about anything and everything, while respecting one another’s feelings.  Super easygoing.  He’s one of the best listeners I’ve ever met, and he always asks me questions that feed the conversation.  Musically inclined, authentic, and frustratingly neutral about some of the topics I care about so passionately.  He’s also one of the most aloof people I know -- and he absolutely sucks at communication.  But even though I haven’t talked to him in 7 months, I still consider him one of my platonic soulmates.  

The ENFP bff.  Another soulmate.  A total goofball, selfish at times, but also a martyr when it comes to those she loves.  She’s one of the few people who have truly attempted to understand everything about me and pry me open -- almost to the point that it’s uncomfortable.  Loves talking about emotions (extensively). Judges people based on their zodiac sign, but she’s also incredibly insightful, perceptive, and “street” wise (she learns a LOT from her experiences / mistakes).  She can be flighty though, and her goals change as swiftly as her attention span.  Gotta love her.

The ENTP bff.  A witty friend who will always offer me a stimulating conversation - whether it’s teaching me about historical fashion or exposing me to new concepts and ideas and political theories.  We can talk for three hours straight, but by then I’m incredibly brain-fried (and she could just keep going?!).  Up for a good natured debate whenever - less good natured when someone pisses her off.  I’m fairly certain I’m the only person she is completely honest with about her feelings (she struggles SO hard to open up).  She loves to travel and experience new things, as well as host parties and game nights.  She’s both a planner and a completely "in the spur of the moment” human being.  Hates willful ignorance and stupidity, and does not care about keeping the peace. I disliked her at first for her bluntness and arrogance, but now I love her to pieces.  Soulmate, for sure.

INTJ friend (long distance).  Very, very prickly to others, but warmed up to me instantly.  Arrogant, albeit extremely logical and intelligent.  Loves memes, biology, and good television.  Adores her girlfriend and gushes about her often (one of the rare instances where she’s a total fluff ball).  Kind of a dick, but also very funny and 100% there for companionable silence or intellectual conversation.  Enjoys being in a group of outcasts and detests most people.  We had a lot of weird things in common and joked about being long lost sisters, and I valued her promptness / dependability!  Her negativity kind of wore me out though (we were studying abroad, and she was homesick for most of it). 

The ENTJ boss.  I no longer work for her, but man, what a powerhouse.  Direct and blunt to a fault, but incredibly motivated and ambitious.  Will get things done, no matter what.  Big idea woman, not so great with the details and how her plans will actually (realistically) be implemented.  SO, so organized and anal, and yet somehow kind of a mess.  Surprises me when she’s emotionally vulnerable because she’s incredibly intimidating and intense.  Loves hosting parties and cooking for her coworkers / neighbors.  Those who are close to her know she has a good heart, but she can seem like a total b** to an outsider.

ISTP coworker.  She’s good at multitasking, and yet she runs late constantly.  Intelligent in the way she asks questions for clarity and a better understanding of a concept.  Calm, collected, and logical.  Creative and impressive in her projects (home remodel, upcycling crafts, etc).  Conversation is a bit surface-level at times and mostly centers around her day to day life experiences or family drama.  She’ll often ask me about my life and then tune me out because she quickly grows bored, as do many other sensors, rip T_T.  We’re a good team, though.

These are my personal experiences with / observations of particular individuals whose type I’m confident about, but they do not represent everyone of the same type.  If anything, I think this goes to show the range of personalities within a function stack.

[tardytothepardy]

Ok so my mind is still lingering on Gakuen Alice after finishing it a few days ago, mostly with how unhappy I was about the end (yadda yadda, I've talked about it already), and while my brain has been stewing on what I'd prefer more, one thing keeps coming up (and I'm not really sure why): I really wanted Natsume to cry at some point in the series.

I have no fecking idea why. Maybe it's because most of the other characters (the kids, anyway) cried at some point, even Hotaru! But not Natsume, I guess he's just too good for crying or something.

Anyway, since my mind kept circling back to that point, I started wondering when he would be doing the Cry, and if it would even make sense. When the other characters cry, it's usually because something big, stressful, and/or overwhelming is happening, something that seems to be quickly spiraling out of their control (or y'know they're just sad), but we've seen throughout the series that Natsume's reaction to those same situations is to be angry. He's yelling, throwing fire all over the place, and constantly putting himself in the main line of conflict. Not really much time for crying during that. So, I've been trying to figure when he'd do the Cry, and this idea came from reading the finale (whoa I tied it all together).

There was one scene in the finale when Natsume is talking to Mikan about when he woke up in the nurse's office, and found out that she was gone, and it showed little blips of when that happened, and I think that could be a good point when the Cry would happen.

See, he'd wake up, and one of the first things he asks about (bc I'm imagining Ruka at the very least would be at his side, waiting. Screw school, his friend nearly died) is where Mikan was. Ruka would then have to break the news: she lost her Alice, had to get her memories of Alice Academy removed, and sent back home. Is that when Natsume does the Cry? No. That's when he's angry. He doesn't understand, what the fuck? What even happened? There has to be a misunderstanding or something. Nope.

The nurse or doctor or whatever sees that he's awake, they see that he's fine, they send him off, and basically he's just kinda fuming and in shock (and honestly I imagine he'd like to know if he burned the ESP to a crisp but unfortunately he didn't 😔). Cut to night time, everyone's gone to sleep, lights out. This is when he has nothing to do but think, and that's when the Cry comes in. He knows that there's not really anything he can do about the situation, if he wants to see Mikan. To get out of the school to see her, he'd have to wait a couple more years to graduate, or he'd have to break out of the school and somehow not get caught and pulled back in. Let's say he does manage to escape, what then? Does he even know where she lives? (Maybe, I wouldn't be surprised if Mikan talked about where she lived or something) The main thing is that she wouldn't recognize him. There might be some kind of weird deja vu-esque feeling on her end, but she wouldn't know him. So in this situation, he's helpless. He can't do anything. And I think that specific moment of realization is where the Cry would happen.

I'm not talking about some kind of big loud Cry, just a "pull the covers over your head and fall asleep crying" kinda Cry.

The more I think about it, realistically (as realistic as a fictional character can be), he'd probably just start to figure out how he can get out of school quickest, try to skip grades (which he and Ruka did apparently do according to the finale), whatever it took. But my thing with the crying is that everyone has a breaking point, and I just would really like it if he slammed into his breaking point. Because, despite all the shit he's had to deal with in his life, he's still a kid. A 12 year old kid, I think, at that point of the story. You're expecting me to believe that he has all that shit under wraps? Nah. He'd know that getting angry wouldn't get him anywhere, it'd be a waste of energy, but what other option does he have to release all this pent up emotion? The Cry.

Part of me thinks it's pretty weird to be fixating so much on some fictional angry child crying, but idk. Mikan cried, Ruka cried, Hotaru cried, Sumire cried, I cried, it's his turn. In general, I kinda feel that the scene of him waking up in the nurse's office after being brought back to the present by Nodacchi should have had more of a focus-- imagine the angstttt. It'd be palpable. I was already crying while reading Hotaru and Subaru sacrifice themselves to the time void so that Natsume could be with Mikan again, I was crying when Mikan had to leave the Academy, if there had been more depth into a scene like that, I'm very confident I would continue to cry. If nothing else I'd be screaming.

Also, wouldn't a heart breaking scene be better than him just grabbing Mikan's boobs? (I just hate that scene with a passion don't mind me 😬) I think so. I'm always down for two things: fluff or angst. Probably not both at the same time. Actually y'know I take that back I can see fluff and angst working well together, and I'd be making weird wispy screeching noises to myself in my room, it'd be great.

[makoandharu]

Okay so I just had a think back to the makoharu fight in Eternal Summer and how much it hurt to hear Haru say things (that I know he didn't mean) but then break down when he found out Makoto wasn't actually going to be with him forever... But then it got me thinking. Haru repeatedly says that he was fine with the way things were at that moment, but other people think that he wasn't and was just afraid/lost in trying to find a dream to pursue in the future... (1/2?)

Though I do agree with Makoto and the others about Haru just being afraid and uncertain about the future, which was why he wasn't really seeking for anything, I actually more so believe and understand Haru in this fight. I honestly believe that Haru was GENUINELY fine with everything staying as it is, and would not mind basically staying in Iwatobi with no dream to pursue, despite this mostly coming from his fear and uncertainty of the future. (2/3?)

The way he kept insisting he was fine this whole time with not finding a dream and wanting things to be kept how they are, those words gotta have some truth to them. But then it got me thinking what was it that make Haru genuinely feel fine to stay in Iwatobi, if it wasn't just the uncertainty of moving forward in the future...? Makoto. I realised that at the time of the fight he didn't know that Makoto was actually moving away at the time. Like yeah, Rin was going to be an Olympian- (3/4?)

And going to Australia. Nagisa and Rei were also the type of people to keep going and pursue their future, whatever it may be. And despite that, he never breaks down at the thought of all of them leaving, albeit being quite sad that everything wouldn't really stay the same in reality. It's because they weren't really that constant presence in his life that he was so used to living with, so he was pretty much okay with them 'leaving him behind' Because who would be there for him anyway? (4/5?)

Makoto. He had always assumed that Makoto, up until this point, was in the same boat as him and hadn't found a dream yet, therefore was also going to stay there at Iwatobi, just like Haru. And who could blame Haru for thinking that since that was the last thing he heard Makoto say when the three of them were talking with Rin in the rain? But now thinking about it, Makoto has been a constant in Haru's life since the beginning of time, obviously- (5/6?)

But I didn't realise until then exactly how IMPORTANT Makoto and his very presence was for Haru. Haru was fine with not finding a future and everything staying the way it is because Makoto would be there with him, and they'll be stuck together without a future. Even if it feels like it all has come to a big standstill and it's all hopeless, Haru doesn't mind because Makoto, his precious constant, will be there right beside him as it always has been. (6/7?)

Which NOW makes me understand the whole pain Haru experiences when he hears that, in reality, Makoto isn't going to stay with him stuck in this dreamless future. Makoto was going to Tokyo and, in effect, leaving him behind. Gone was his initial comfort in not finding a dream. Makoto won't be there with him also dreamless. And THAT'S why he was so broken during that reveal. (7/8?)

So broken that he didn't even want to go in the water. It was Makoto who got him swimming and, as we learnt in HS, he didn't even want to swim if Makoto wasn't going to be there with him. And that's what I think, when he went to Australia, made him so happy to find a dream of his own. He wasn't in fact going to be left behind with Makoto, but now instead moving forward with him, with a plan that could take both of them to Tokyo and continue supporting each other. (7/8? Lost count lol)

Haha, somewhere in this whole rant the argument got lost and I'm sorry for that, but TL;DR: When Haru said he was fine with the way things were, he DID actually mean it because he thought Makoto was going to be with him. But when he finds out that's not the case, that's when he starts to truly break down and NOW not be fine with staying behind, and actually be full of doubt and uncertainty for the future, since his constant was leaving... (8/9)

Yet when he does find his dream, one that was totally doable in Tokyo, you can see how truly excited he is by the end of the episode. Because can he move forward with Makoto and be in step with him, but he can actually still BE WITH him in Tokyo. No matter where Haru is in his lifetime, as long as he has Makoto by his side, he knows he will be fine and has always meant that. (9/9) Geez I wrote a lot lol. Hope that all made sense ❤️

First of all, wow! I love being ranted at, thank you so much for this, it was great fun to read! 

I agree with you to a large extent, I think he had made peace with the idea of staying in iwatobi dreamless bc he assumed Makoto would stay with him. I think esp after starting days, when Makoto had avoided him but found that actually he wants to swim with Haru, Haru got really really comfortable with the idea that Makoto wouldn’t leave now. Bc he’s had his little panic and found the answer, and the answer is Haru. So Haru’s confident that Makoto will stay forever now. 

But I think he doesn’t quite realise what being dreamless means. Nagisa tells him he can do anything bc he’s good at cooking and art, but Haru dismisses/doesn’t address it. I think he’s so caught up in resisting the idea of going pro that he’s not even thinking about the future at all, let alone a dreamless one. Haru’s a very live-in-the-moment type of person already, but coupled with the anxiety he feels bc the scouts and Rin pestering him about the future and his teacher’s high expectation, he just cannot even entertain a different path bc any thought of the future lead to a panic induced dream where he’s just falling into nothing.

(Maybe the reason the idea of going pro stresses him is bc it’s what everyone expects from him and not something he found for himself, BUT it’s something he can absolutely see himself doing? So he’s pissed that other people are telling him to do something that maybe he was gonna do anyway? Kinda like when you’re thinking of doing the dishes and then your mum tells you to do dishes and your’re like actually no i’m not gonna do it now lmao. But more in the sense that he’s pissed at being put into any box, having any future forced on him, regardless of whether he thinks it suits him or not)

But yeah Makoto leaving was really the straw that broke the camel’s back, so now he has no dream and no Makoto. And that’s really not something he can live without so he knows he has to fight his demons if he want to keep his Makoto around. Intesting that he’s always forced to face his issues as a direct result of Makoto and always comes out happier once he has :)

Do not even get me started on Haru not swimming in Austrailia, makes me lose my mcfrickin mind!!!! Not even in the bath in the morning cos who’s gonna pull him out???????? I always saw him not going into the water as “well Makoto’s not here so what’s the point” bc we know Haru thinks water is healing that it can cure his cold (as a mother this kid really stresses me out, you idiot have some calpol), but here it can’t heal his heartache bc it’s that bad. But you’re right! It also makes sense that he wouldn’t swim bc he always swam when Makoto asked him to (joining the ITSC in the first place, swimming the relay in s1 etc) cos maybe he doesn’t deserve to after he hurt Makoto? D: