#but i dont think i have anything for it rn other than the concept

[nonranghaes]

heads up: food mentions

"really? pizza again? is that all you eat now?" seungkwan crosses his arms as vernon jogs up to him. "we've already had it twice this week. we could go literally anywhere else."

seungkwan knows this place's logo all too well at this point. he's seen how many boxes end up deconstructed and recycled at the end of the week, seen the many boxes that he tries to pawn off onto his friends on the nights when seungkwan is out with other friends, seen pictures of vernon taking other friends here to eat in... surely, he has to be sick of it at this point.

"c'mon. it's good pizza." vernon's not even looking at him, leaning forward enough to peer in through the glass. "i'm buying."

yes. clearly. otherwise, seungkwan would have dragged him literally anywhere else. thai food actually sounds great tonight, but vernon's buying tonight, so seungkwan will hold his tongue from here on out--

until he realizes exactly why vernon picked this place. the minute vernon steps inside, he lights up, already waving at the cute person behind the counter. you smile at him just as brightly, already greeting him by name. seungkwan gives a slightly-forced smile as he, too, waves, but vernon's not paying attention anymore. he's already making his way over, asking how your day has gone... suddenly all the 'nah, man, i'll just go get it myself, i could use the walk' comments he's made every single time he ordered makes sense.

and seungkwan decides that he's had enough. he pushes past vernon, leaning against the counter. "can i get your number?"

one of your coworkers snorts, and he dips into the back as quickly as he can. you immediately stop smiling, mouth dropping for a minute as your gaze flits from this complete stranger to the very-familiar-face of vernon. he looks completely thrown, too, as he stares at his friend. if looks could kill... "excuse me?"

"not for me." seungkwan's slightly annoyed (at vernon, not you) as he nods toward his roommate. "for him. because every time he buys us dinner, he's buying us pizza from here, and now i know why."

vernon chokes on his own spit, face burning hot. "dude!"

seungkwan ignores him. "and you clearly like him, too. so ask him out already so we can have something other than pizza for dinner." he thinks he hears one of your coworkers start to lose it in the back, his laugh echoing around the kitchens, and it pretty much confirms it further. he turns to vernon, annoyance already dying down now that he sees the flustered expression on his friend's face. "i'll wait outside."

(ten minutes later, vernon emerges with your number and the revelation that your coworker, jisung, ended up winning the bet that someone else would have to force you two idiots to face your feelings... and the promise that seungkwan can pick wherever he wants for dinner tonight.)

[elulsdr]

WHAT DO PEOPLE THINK ABOUT YOU?

PILE 1 PILE 2 PILE 3

hey guys, it's my first pac ever so i would love to have your feedback. this pac also has random messages too rather than what do people think about you.

it's mainly about the messages i got. i hope it resonates⭐️ (i swear i'm better at personal readings LMAO)

PILE 1

people think you're very self oriented and love to have the power over them. maybe you have leader qualities and they can see that. i'd say they think you're more likely to choose logic over emotions. they think you're def the overthinker one. they know you know you're worth and know when and what to say something. they can feel that you like to be seen as cold hearted and powerful. in your head being numb equals having power. people think you're very materalistic as in, whatever you wear you make it seem expensive. people think you're very soft inside but don't let a lot people in. sometimes they can sense that deep down you're really insecure and they can see the other side of you. where you're not sure of anything you do, you don't trust yourself enough. sometimes you come off as really complex and a lot. you seem to be stuck on something. you want to let it go but can't really do it cause you get used to it. so that's why people can sense your imbalance energy. you could be indecisive or air headed these days. still, people know you have the strength to get over it. you could intimidate people at first but when they see the real you -which you dont show it to many they love it. maybe you got hurt on the past, that's why you put a mask like that. you could be very obsessive, and passionate about the things you love. you come off as competitive too.

PILE 2

oooh my broken heart pile.. if you recently gone through a breakup, doesnt matter if it's romantic or friends. people see youve been thru ALOT. you show it to everyone whether youre aware of it or not. people can sense the broken energy. you keep trying to explain your feelings? or what happened between you and the other person and they're like, can she move on already?? but it's cruel to think like that. cause i feel like this relationship somehow connected to your inner child. maybe the relationship helped you with healing your inner child that's why you felt those emotions that hard. people think you're sensitive and a romantic. everything i said was in the past, your energy now seems very refreshing and stepping ahead. also i have a really bad headache rn, are u ok? take care of your health and make sure you sleep enough. you have many sleepless nights. anyways, people see your steps to a better life. although you might got addicted to the new me concept and ignore everyone who tries to help you or tries to talk to you. you're like, i don't want your help i've been by myself all this long i can take care of myself from now on. they are a bit annoyed by this. they think you're a bit stubborn. DEF a hopeless romantic. don't try to burden everything and try to move on with your life asap. take your time to heal. and take people's help -only the ones who really care tho. aww i just got the 3 of swords. pls keep your precious heart safe bby. your love is enough and you will find someone that loves you as much as you love them. (wow pile 2's photo says the exact same thing, i didnt mean to do that lol)

PILE 3

hey pile 3, why do you feel so alone even if you're out with your friends? you like to ask people for advice but somehow you don't trust them as much as you trust yourself. i mean good for you but people -maybe your friends can tell that you're faking your feelings sometimes? maybe you feel the need to be happy around everyone even if you feel like shit. they can tell that. there's this person you are stuck on. it seems like you arent able to let them go. people really wonder about you guys. you could be a heartbreaker too. you and your friends are sarcastic people. people could get annoyed by the fact that you guys have fun lol. people think you have it all and you will have it all. they dont like the fact that they cant get a piece of you, your space, your time. it's like, there are people who want you but you got someone else on your mind who you seem to cant have. you like to learn more and more. you're very smart and people like that. but there's just this unknown people love about you. you have the friends, you have the grades, you have the face but what is it that makes you sad(?) and broken? people wonder the shit out of this lmao and you don't give them a chance to understand it. you tend to zone out a lot during the day and your thoughts makes you go nuts. people just seem to curious about you. they don't know enough. the more you don't give them the chance the more they wonder. people feel that you have tons of other shit to do than answer their questions. they know they don't deserve to steal your time like that.

[quodekash]

okay bitchessss now for episode 12 we are thoughts/reactions

look at his smile, hes so bbg

Q’S REACTION IM CRYING

BRO HE SSO FLUFFY RN

im losing it

phum announced to peem that he likes him in front of the entire group, and so peem instructed phum to hit on him

guys.

GUYS.

WE'RE PAST THIS POINT

YOU GUYS HAVE KISSED. SO MANY FUCKING TIMES.

ITS BEEN ESTABLISHED THAT YOU GUYS LIKE EACH OTHER ALREADY

I THINK WE CAN ALL AGREE THAT YOU LIKE EACH OTHER

WE WERE PAST THIS 7 FUCKING EPISODES AGO HOW ARE WE STILL HERE 😭

PUN BEING A BIRD DADDDD

HEMEANS SO MUVH TO ME

CHAIM’S HEREEEEE

theyre so in love with each other

theyre dating they just dont know it I swear

I LVOE FRIENDS TO LOVERS HOLT SHIT

im losing it

THE SONG IS PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND 😭

I HAVE SO MUCH HOPE FOR THISNEPISODE

THEYRE SO PRETY AND IN LOVE 😭😭😭

Peem’s aunt being phum’s wingman is the best, I adore her so so much

Im gonna cry. Weve had this conversation. It’s been fucking clear that you like each other for SEVEN FUCKING EPISODES ever since you KISSED EACH OTHER UNDER THE NIGHT SKY on an IMPORTANT HOLIDAY, and LITERAL FUCKING FIREWORKS WENT OFF

and since then, you both have, on average, kissed more than once an episode

last episode you kissed at least 5 times but it might be more than that. the episode before that, you kissed 3 times. phum said to you last episode that he wants to be water, because being around water makes you feel good, and he wants to make you feel good. if i recall correctly, at the end of episode 10, he asked if you liked him, and you didnt respond. he kissed you. and then i think you asked him if he liked you, and he kissed you again, and asked if that was good enough of a response. so its PRETTY FUCKING CLEAR that you guys are HEAD OVER HEELS FOR EACH OTHER, and you should FUCKING DATE ALREADY

Then why have you INITIATED a kiss with him (checks notes) fIVE FUCKING TIMES??

this is genuinely so frustrating, it feels like we’re going in circles 😭

okay that was fuckin smooth ngl

AND HE FALLS FOR IT AGAIN 💀

CVJHGCVGCHG THEY HOLDEN HANS

FINALMENTE RAGAZZI

thEYRE BOYFRIENDSSSSSS

FUCKING FINALLYYYYY

HE LEANED IN FOR A KISS BUT THEYRE IN PUBLIC SO TOEY GRABBED HIS BAG TO COVER THEIR FACES

IM OBSESSED WITH THEM

THEYRE MAKING OUT

THEYRE BOYFRIENDS AND THEYRE KISSING

THERYE SO FUCKING CUTE

tanfang 😭😭😭😭😭

they said ily to each other

they make me so ehrjgierubgsehgbr

theyre literally my ideal relationship

i cant explain it i just fucking want it

the fact they're making out again after phum asked "when will you finally know that I love you" makes me hopeful that that means theyre boyfriends now and we can stop pretending the several makeout scenes and confessions didnt happen

THE FUCKING HANDS 😭😭😭😭

theres smomething about shots of hands that just gets to me

im full sobbing rn

phum stole someone's horse

this is the first time ive seen a horse in a bl

its such a foreign concept to me that my brain is telling me the horse is cgi, even tho its obviously not, but like im so certain it is

it jsut feels so out of place

Its not real

no way is that horse real

okay welp. that was the episode.

we got barely any punchain, and there wasnt really anything of them in the trailer for next ep

BUT I HAVE FAITH FOR NEXT WEEK

THE PUNCHAIN / MARCPOON MV THO !!

they are THE friends to lovers, istg that was the cutest mv of anything ever theyre so sweet

kill me now

[germaaaaaaaaaa]

5 Managers headcanons heheohoh

FIRST OFF I wanted to say those r in an dialtown way because generally, i dont think they'll talk much about those topics knowing the years n all the shit happened so basically I think in an dsaf way it'll be more like "I might be an women but i dont rlly care about that rn i have an job to do" way you get it? You get it. okay lets start.

FIRST ABEL MY POOKIE BEAR... He/she for sure, but i think he'll be very secretive about it or be like yeah i dont really give a fuck about this (she actually do but way too closed to himself to say anything about it UNTIL she actually come out to someone close ect)

TANGO TANGO TANGO,I have a lot to say, since Tango is one of the youngest of the gang, at least in dialtown, they'll def know more than the others about those. I see it being way more opens about pronouns and all that kinds! Any pronouns INCLUDING Neos, def have severals pins he like to show up to people I also hc that Tango is the name she use now (Terrence is cool too, just would wish more people call him tango!)

EVERETT, actually i think that he'll find the concept really cool and try it too! Tango DEF influenced him into this (in a positive way, they get along really well imo) so like... He/they !!!! Yes!!!!!

I have LIKE. 2 opposite sides for Joe. Joe either think its cool as fuck, but wouldnt use any others pronouns than he/him, but he'll def be like wanting an pin and all... The other side is that joe is an butch that also use he/him ❤️

Harry is transfem!!! She/her!!!! Full name could be Harriet (Thanks Charles for the Idea) ! But she dont mind being called harry as she still likes it! I think she very casual about it, not that open but still casual, def more than abel at least

Ok it was supposed to be all but i also wanna include my beautiful wife Scott 01_01, though i dont rlly have a lot to say, he as supportive as everett and joe i'll say, but only use he/him

[ilynpilled]

what are your ideal jaime endings? (other than fucking him in the ass ofc) (that is also my ideal ending so no judgement)

i genuinely dont know rn especially without winds at least lol. biased but i actually do personally like the idea of him not dying (however unlikely that is lol) and then getting something akin to ‘evolution as a person doesnt really have a neatly tied up ending’ and even the concept of redemption is not something you just “achieve” at a certain point, it is a never ending and continuous process of just being a certain kind of human being, so anything that reflects that is appealing to me. do not like jb happily ever after endgame either find that boring. would like a “we’ll always have paris” kind of ending for them too. i am also drawn to tragedy, but again dont know what would be my ideal with that but i am fine with a death near the end after things i want dealt with are dealt with i just dont want it to happen before he can actually react or have to live with things that will happen and also deal with things that i think are set up in his arc. sorry with how vague this is lmao ig i am just not a theory brained/creating specific expectations person even if it is like this

[tboyblogger]

finally finished the profile for the danseiroido!! this took way too long just because drawing anime headshot is my biggest nightmare... and then ended up not even looking That anime LOL... i've already had a few comics up in the tag (search em to read!) but. a brief intro is that i basically just made them idols (somewhat) and threw them in the same boygroup to write sitcom/4-koma slice of life random jokes, as i always do! they also share the same universe with my entire vocaloid neighborhood setup (but this will - might - be for another day)

there isnt a deep overarching plot as for now, its just daily lives of a boygroup that doesnt really do anything idol-like and occasionally featuring others around them from the vocal synth ville. oh and idk if i can call them a polycule because they dont really think or operate that way But! i do want all of them to fool around and have their own "ship moment" (if you want to call it that? i dont really label these things and i want to write it that way) tldr they all fuck one another. every single ship in the group canon (EXCEPT the obvious anyone x len. timeout for him he got his ass kicked out whenever they do it...)

my concept/idea for it (not much tbh this is just me rediscovering my love for vocaloid - though one can argue it never went away - and started make up random shits for them so its pretty much spontaneous and not a serious project or anything) is a parody of sort on stereotypical otome/bl genres and boygroups and anime tropes and obviously the vocaloid fandom/history. but i dont think i know enough about bl nor anime nor boygroups so at the end of the day its just guys hanging out XD hm i should just tag my other vocaloid stuff something else too considering its an elaborated world now, with these guys in it, but... that... really is for another day...

wait forgot to say also making len the leader is idk vocaloid meta funny or sth since hes the most popular but here hes just a wee child not even allowed to getting involved much (to be fair its cause most of the involvement are either freakish or sexual. or both) hes already more than involved in the irl success go away little boy. but Boom! funny ass kid leading army of 6 gay ass men (one of them isnt even a man. but only when its convenient) (sometimes there are 7 of them)

also: everyone learn vietnamese to understand how funny their viet names are rn

SORRY I KEEP EDITING. but they also have a playlist... just for funsies. some of them are serious canon lore related the rest are probably all shitposts

[goatfactsofficial]

Honestly, I consider my self "pro-israel" but still very critical about Bibis goverment, specially since fuckers like Gvir ad Smorvtich are in charge. I think that with Hamas finally gone and this fuckers either jailed for good or gone since they are actually hated by the Israeli population rn (The only reason they havent kicked them to kingdom come is because its the middle of a war) a good faith peace plan for both sides can be established with a third party of trust.

This being said, why the fuck do people root for Hamas? Ive seen this so called progressive even calling them 'resistance'. These fuckers are the main cause that palestinians are in the situation they are in. They use all the money they get from aid to try to attack israel, use their own population as shields because they dont care about them and indoctrictnated them to hate since children. Do they really want to leave them opressing Gazans like nothing happened after oct 7th? Because Ive havent seen any goverment willing to do this dirty work because, sadly, Hamas wont reliquinsh their "power" peacefully.

Honestly, in a past I considered my self pro-palestinian and pro-israel, at least publicly, but these loud minority of Hamasinks seemed to have hijacked a movement that started with good intentions. But sadly it appears that this minority is becoming the majority.

Is there anything that can be done to revert this? To alianeate these extremist from the reasonable voices?

First of all, hell of an anon to get. If you're baiting, nice job. Otherwise I'm going to assume this is a good faith ask. (Though I'm still confused as to why you asked me.) So re: why do people support Hamas. I'm assuming you're referring to the Pro-Pal Left that has reared its head since October 7th. Honestly I think it comes down to the privilege that almost everyone in the Imperial Core has: Freedom from War. These folks learned about War Crimes in highschool or whatever, never bothered to learn what they actually were and the how and why of their drafting, and now they hear about Israel bombing hospitals and they can't imagine any possible scenario where that could be justified. To these folks War is two armies marching at each other in block formations in an open field. And perhaps their only conception of Urban War is the civilian-less and consequence-free set pieces of modern warfare shooters. And it shows! I've seen people praising the Mujahideen in Gaza as brave and noble heroes for slapping the side of a Merkavah with a tandem charge RPG all while ignoring the fact that the person firing the RPG isn't wearing any sort of distinguishable uniform and are therefore committing the crime of perfidy. And it drives me insane because perfidy is such a fucking poisonous thing to do. Any action which erodes a belligerents ability to read actions in good faith is horrific, and actions like that are exactly what Hamas' strategy and tactics are based on and around. To break it down for the pissing on the poor crowd: 1: Hamas plans operation and bases soldiers in hospital 2: Israel bombs that hospital, whichever officer in charge has made the hard decision that the number of military casualties is worth the number of civilian collateral casualties, as well as damage to the hospital infrastructure. (THIS IS LEGAL AND NOT A WAR CRIME) 3: Hamas makes up death count and has their media corps play corpse jenga 4: useful idiots in the Imperial Core see that Israel bombed a hospital (no possible reason for doing that other than killing innocents!) and the 3000 years of antisemitism thats hardcoded into their brains kicks in and all the blood libel floods out. As for alienating the extremists from the moderates. I have no idea. Frankly I could care less about what Johnny Jihad or his leftist brownshirts care about Palestine or Israel or Jews or Palestinians. I give far more of a fuck in making the world a better place where I can. And that takes many forms. Including skipping out on my draft service because I didn't want to risk being a part of the apparatus that does in fact contribute to the oppression of Palestinians. What have any of these "Pro-Palestine" leftists ever done for the Palestinian cause that comes anywhere near that level of direct action?

[luckystar1327]

your OCs are really cool!! What are their names??? I wanna know everything about them pls ramble

YIPPEE!!!!!

im gonna put this under the line because it got long 😅

okay okay okay so on the left is Coven (he/him), the right is Briar (they/them). These sketches are them from the end of the story but i do not have a better reference 😭

they’re from a story concept ive had for a while! Said story is not very fleshed out so far, i’ve kinda just been writing unconnected scenes, but i do know the concept for these two at the beginning!

basically: this world has magic, people who practice magic legally are called Arcanists; those who don’t aren’t really like…scorned or anything, they just dont get that same level of training and access to resources that actual Arcanists get

The magic system is very much influenced by d&d—every spell has a certain component that’s necessary to cast it, and it’s almost always some material component (for example fire spells usually require cinnamon and something else to work). More complex spells also require drawn out runes, but to avoid the hassle most Arcanists have spellbooks containing a ton of runes.

Coven is training to be an Arcanist, and he’s training under his adoptive mother, Violet, who is a very respected Arcanist and runs a shop of spell ingredients in Esoya, the city where magic is most common and powerful. He is more partial to fire spells than anything else. He’s also a Dragonheir! Also he’s 16 at the time of the story!

What is a Dragonheir, you ask? Well! Although actual dragons are rare and likely extinct (there are like. three.), Dragonheirs are a species that carry on their traits and blood. Dragonheirs commonly have wings, tails, and pointed ears, as well as a natural inclination to magic. There’s a large spectrum of how dragon-like their features are, ranging from someone only having pointed ears to someone like Coven, who has decently large wings, a tail, and a natural resistance to most fire magic. He’s kind of like a d&d tiefling!

Anyways! Briar!! They’re a thief who “practices the arcane” (Rest assured, everyone they’ve ever met teases them about that phrasing because they say it so often). They are also a Dragonheir, but their wings are really only good for gliding. They have vampire teeth tho. They live in Rishire, a smaller city outside of Esoya. They’re also shit at blending in, so they favor cloaking spells and less flashy magic. Also they’re 17 at the time of the story!

Coven and Briar! The goobers! Coven is definitely more high-strung and serious than Briar, but he also flirts without realizing and then rethinks his entire life so i think that kinda covers a lot in regards to him. Briar acts like they’re super unbothered and nonchalant but they are the most anxious little thing you have ever seen. They also have some pretty bad memory issues (me? project? never).

These two met when Coven was like 12 and Briar was 13—Briar had entered their shop during the day, looking to buy dragon scales (which are not common AT ALL) and Coven was so incredibly confused, poor little guy. They ended up talking and i’m not gonna lie, both of them fucking hated each other at first. Then Briar kept coming back, just to talk, and after a while Coven relented and indulged them. And then they became besties for life and later started dating

thats kinda all i can think of rn if you have any questions lmk! (I also do have other characters but this is super long already 😅)

[pixlokita]

im with you, i hate that it feels like its gregory vs cassie in the fandom rn. theyre KIDS.

i also dont think its gregory in the main(?) ending (there are so many things that make it not make sense for it to be him), and it bothers me so much that people are pouncing on “gregory is evil” - he is a CHILD.

i really hope people dont pester you about drawing them as friends, i personally would love some art from you with them being friends <3 as much as i am a fan of the angst potential of that ending, cassie being tricked by the mimic (grimic? is that actually the canon name..?) one last time to pit her against gregory when really neither side did anything wrong is far moe interesting in concept than “gregorys just evil” could ever be imo.

i personally love feral/menace gregory, but hes not evil - again, hes a kid! and hes been in terrible circumstances! im not sure i could even really be mad if that WAS him in the elevator - a genuinely terrifying threat was released, and he might not be able to trust cassies voice, just like she couldnt trust his. we know cassie was okay, that the mimic wasnt with her (well, aside from the arm), but gregory had no way of knowing any of that.

seemingly, hes with vanessa and freddy. if he risked it and it WAS the mimic and not cassie, he could lose everything and more all over again. i cant imagine being a kid having to make such an awful decision. keep your current family safe, or risk everything in case your best friend somehow made it?

he knows how dangerous the plex is. and i can only imagine how much more dangerous hed expect it to be now. he barely made it out with freddys help, and as far as he knows, cassie doesnt have someone there to help her.

i feel so bad for gregory, both in-game, and in the fandom! he doesnt deserve all this hate.

sorry, that wasnt supposed to be a tangent - my point is im a gregory defender and 100% on your side. i hope no one is a prick about you drawing cassie and gregory as friends. ill personally fight them for u pix i promise

I agree with a lot of what you said tbh and heck dude Gregory is indeed a child, he’s even had to do things he didn’t want to do and got the short end of the stick every time. Cassie is a bean also, like she didn’t deserve to be tricked she didn’t deserve to be traumatized and she didn’t deserve to also get the short end of the stick either. It’s just I just really can’t accept that Gregory would do that to her either and ? If I’m wrong then okay? But like that’s just what I chose to believe and what I chose to draw I don’t get why people have to prove me wrong about it or pull lore nonsense into it to make sure I feel like I’m wrong. I mean =w= even retorting to insults like we’re in kindergarten is just ridiculous?Plus other people being stupid made me give up on interacting with anyone on that particular art piece. I felt like the end of ruin wasn’t satisfying so I drew art to feel better and try to understand it better and people took it personally =w= very mature honestly, they could just make their own art and leave mine alone.

[pangyham]

GAH LONG POST..

xingqiu and chongyun have insanely good potential for angst my god. xingqiu in particular is so fun to think about in the context of chongyun. what do YOU know about chivalry boy

thinking about how he and hu tao kinda operate on similar notions of justice and all that shmick except hu tao is more strictly averse to disrupting the Natural Order (incredibly vague and generalized concept rn sorry) whilst xingqiu sets his principles more arbitrarily. chongyun's presence somehow foils a lot of his notable character traits. gestures hands vaguely in the air but sth sth hu tao would not approve of xq's moral infractions

perhaps im just reading too deep into this but shrugs ill admit something's changed in Me the last 2 years and coming back to xq and cy has me like. scratches head now hold on im not entirely sure if i even like the way xq treats cy. its kinda one of the main points of their dynamic- the whole.. pranking this oblivious guy who i really adore etc. but its deeper implications leave me a little unsatisfied and a little troubled (?).. in the long run i personally dont really see anything substantially appealing about their (leaning towards romantic in this context) relationship other than like ?? the tropes that mhy imposed upon them. they were created as a compatible Duo ykwim. they reference each other a lot in their lore and even in-game but.. idk maybe i just view them separately instead of a joint unit that anaylzing them individually revealed a lot of crevices and cracks in their ship that's built upon their mainstream appeal

but anyway i've thought a lot about them as a duo and is it nuts to say i like them as a romantic ship but if they were unrequited. i can see them working out but it necessitates a complete subversion and reconstruction of xingqiu (chara development basically LOL) on my part that i would totally invest myself in but im not entirely sure how to execute it

i like xingqiu a LOT as a flawed character. i wouldnt go as far as to say hes toxic, just very conflicted and insecure. hes a fun character to think about. re: the hu tao bit i mentioned above, i think they would have a really fun, witty, and transformative friendship

but anyway. yes i like xq and i still like xy. theyre just a bit more complicated now aha. im still capable of enjoying fluffy ship dynamics but lately ive been in a Character Study Mood ... mmm.. ive yet to organize my chongming thoughts

[lains-reality]

Im struggling with applying this concept in my daily life due to boredom (my ego is too bored to live in the present)

So what I’m getting is that we’re just observing the ego. The “self” doesnt think that something is boring- ego does. And the state of being bored is just the state of wanting something to happen. Which contradicts the I am.

It’s just that my ego lives such a boring life with almost zero human contact for the entire day and with few hobbies. The only thing I feel like I can resort to is social media. (Which I’m trying to stop) Do I just observe this routine on and on again? It’s hard to live in the present when there’s nothing to do

Sorry I don’t know if this made much sense..

"Im struggling with applying this concept in my daily life due to boredom (my ego is too bored to live in the present)"

theres not really an application, just reminders. when something prompts you to do anything, that can be used to remind yourself of the truth.

when i get bored its usually 'cause i want the world to look a certain way, when actually even without your desires there are so much things to do! divinity is in everything, everywhere.

"And the state of being bored is just the state of wanting something to happen."

what ru talking abt (1) theres no states here (2) does being bored actually have to mean anything? ik i just said the reason why i get bored, but ... (3) if the character is unreal, then does it concerns matter?

"Which contradicts the I am."

nothing really contradicts the I AM. everthing takes place in awareness anyway, this is all like saying I AM bored, but really you are the I AM, not the bored. you can just accept that the bored feeling is here, it doesnt really change anything does it?

"It’s just that my ego lives such a boring life with almost zero human contact for the entire day and with few hobbies."

then do some hobbies? what do you want me to advise you?? you're bored.. its either

do something and enjoy yourself

wallow in the boredom

either way you can let go of limitations as you go in both situations anyway. idk if this will help but i thought that i couldnt let go of limitations without some big fight or something, but no! simply getting yourself to do some chores and choosing to enjoy yourself through that is enough.

theres this idea that everything is meditation, once you know what it is.

went a bit off point lol

"The only thing I feel like I can resort to is social media. (Which I’m trying to stop)"

then stop fixing yourself to feeling like theres only social media. just let the idea of something possibly more guide you. you think you are the character who only has the body it has now and is limited by it.

"It’s hard to live in the present when there’s nothing to do"

you know i deleted a quote from my reblog blog's queue bcs i thought this is not as important as the others, i'm so mad now that i need it. it said bascially people mistake the contents of the present moment as the actual present moment. it was by eckhart tolle.

you are ALREADY IN THE PRESENT MOMEMT, your mind wants to take you to the past or future, but thats not NOW. you can say 'but that was then' or 'thats not now so i dont need to deal with it rn' and move on. you don't need something to do to honour the present moment. you're already here!!

also, again, you think that theres nothing to do bcs you take yourself to be the body. the limited. theres so much more than what you're character can do. you are unlimited.

reading

read practising the power of now by eckhart tolle, its like consistently the only book i keep talking abt in like almost all anon answers

learn to be comfortable by yourself

[antiv3nom]

asuka ask game? pick your favorite one

ok so i do enjoy asuka guiltygear but i have been thinking REALLY hard about asuka tekken as of late so we're talking about her today

also this took me WAY too long to post i apologize but it Is out here so yaaaay

favorite thing about them:

ok so legally i have to mention asuka's tekken 8 design because motherfucker WHAT were they thinking with that one. what the fuck was the inspiration. but i love it so much i cannot lie

other than that, i really enjoy her rivalry with lili and how moderately insane that bit has gotten, and i like how they've kept her a character who is a) defensively focused in her gameplay even among the generally aggressive play of t8, and b) has a generally down-to-earth feel to her despite. Everything. happening in tekken

least favorite thing about them:

so i was actually talking to a friend about this recently and she explained my feelings really well, its like. asuka feels like the protagonist of another story that isnt being told.

it feels like she has so much stuff that COULD be a really interesting plot focus for her but it just. hasnt been? like everything between her and feng COULD be so neat but its just been sort of...by the wayside for the past few games in favor of keeping up with the mishimas (new sitcom there btw)

favorite line:

asuka's quotes are fun but most arent super noteworthy unfortunately? its mostly pretty standard fare for fighting game open and win quotes unforch :( i will say though, i do really enjoy this win line in t8 from her:

It's not good to fight all the time. Well, see ya!

bc like. girl. what do you think youre out here doing rn. girl please

(note: i dont speak japanese so i couldnt say anything towards this, but i wonder if asuka speaks with a kansai accent/dialect in game? her being from osaka and all, itd be a cool little addition)

brOTP:

omg actually ive seen stuff between leo and asuka that's been fun before i really enjoy that, iirc theyre not super close in the main canon but i wanna say in the non-canon webcomic theyre friends? i think thats right? either way its a fun concept

OTP:

asulili...uwoagh........

fellas is it gay to buy your rival's dojo and fill it entirely with roses to get their attention? certainly not. certainly.

i do wish we saw some amount more narrative tension between them since most of it has sort of dissolved by t8 but i do think theyre really cute and as mentioned before i really do enjoy their whole bit its awesome

SHOUTOUT ASULILI WEEK BTW I DONT HAVE THE TIME TO PARTICIPATE BUT I AM HYPED ABOUT ITS EXISTENCE

nOTP:

i do not think i have been around long enough to see another pairing for asuka, let alone one i dislike, so i cannot answer this question LMAO

random headcanon:

spun my mental wheel of headcanon topics and it wouldnt stop spinning for like half an hour unfortunately so im just telling you that i think asuka would play baiken or may in strive

unpopular opinion:

i still havent been here long enough to know whats unpopular regarding her :,) although i think in terms of gameplay i think she's cooler than most people believe, though i do agree that her current iteraiton in t8 isnt very strong within the meta unforch :(

song i associate with them:

i can nigh on guarantee that it's because ive been listening to this song while thinking about her really hard recently but absolute zero by natori (banger btw go watch the music video it goes unbelievably hard), i think the lyrics arent entirely unfitting though!!!

favorite picture of them:

i really like this profile art option for her, the posing is fun and the textures on the clothing are really impressive

and then also i have to mention her preset 3 outfit which i LOVE SO SO MUCH

(apologies as i cant find a better example pic and do not feel like opening t8 at 2 in the morning on this day)

[kaiserkisser]

so- i wanted to specify what i meant about the concept of dazais actual personality clashing with his masks in mam- i think the main example i can think of is dazai and genuinely liking/caring about the gang, where his first year act allowed him to unconsciously accept caring for them (in his own special way), since mori’s become more involved in the story we’ve seen quite a few moments of dazai seemingly forcing himself to act like or think that they don’t matter to him and he doesn’t care about them. i think there’s also a major element of cognitive dissonance in both canon dazai and mam!dazai where both act like they don’t have emotions or care about people when they very clearly do to some extent even if it’s not in a normal way.

on my other point of guilt- i don’t think it’s really guilt for an action- not for pomfrey, not for pansy’s arm, not for manipulating the people around him- but rather if anything it’s for the fact that he exists and feels as though he just passively brings misfortune to people around him. i think he could be responding to being directly reminded of this by mori and his new mission. more than guilt whatsoever though, i think the self destructive behaviors would more-so come from the fact that the previous year at hogwarts, dazai had a task, but after winter break, he is the task. while the positive environment would have helped him to feel more like a person, the actual mission given directly makes him a tool instead of an agent and would influence him to be even more self destructive. this is just my read on it though- and i could very well be interpreting it completely wrong!

- fable

wait yeah that actually does make sense like in the first year even though he did keep saying he hated emotions and shit, he did allow himself to care for them in his own way, but then after that cursed convo with mori, i think he's passively trying to pull away of sorts?? or like not show to anyone that he actually cares for them because then he knows that will become something that mori or anyone else can use as a weapon against him? and yes, agreed, both versions of dazai pretend that they dont care for whatever reasons, hiding that they actually do, that they're human in a way too

again, i think u do have a point, and agree with the 'he is the task now', his mission right now is to lean into the demon student persona rn if im not wrong (i very much may be bc ill have to jog my memory) and its unlike first year when he had to merely retrieve one of the wizarding worlds important artifact thingys. this time he is his mission. he needs to act like yhe demon student everyone believes he is, and in mori's eyes it should be easy enough for someone like him, and dazai knows that, and that puts pressure on him bc of how he thinks the wizarding world is pretty different from yokohama and the pm. and the demon student is supposed to be uncaring. since he has to lean into that image, he has to be uncaring, or attempt or pretend to be. leading to his self-destructive tendencies. but he tries to do this in a subtle way i think so that the gang doesnt suspect

I honestly have no idea whatsoever where im going with this or even if im going anywhere bc my thoughts r scrambled 😭😭😭 but your interpretation is pretty interesting and has valid points! thank u for rambling and sharing ur thoughts with me omg <3

[heartyearning]

☀️ SUMMER READING WRAP UP ☀️

i read like 30+ books in july & august & wanted to do a quick little summary of that here bc i read some absolute bangers. in no partic order + these are only the good ones bc i dont need to talk about [title redacted bc im nice]

headshot by rita bullwinkel: i got this in a bookstore near my sister's art uni & you could tell it was an artunibookstore bc there were so many books i'd never heard of but this one is SO up my alley. it's about a group of teenage girls in a boxing competition and follows each of their matches from the perspectives of the girls. they don't talk to each other so they each have this really skewed vision of the other person, especially considering that there's a competitive aspect to what they're doing anyway & the fact that none of these girls feel like they're respected in their day-to-day lives. if you're a teen following me you NEED to pick up this book, i felt like it so perfectly encapsulates that feeling of being 15-17 esp if you're socialised as a girl. everything is both grandiose and gritty at the same time, these girls have FEELINGS pouring out of their ears and it is so so so well written. absolutely loved it. also look at this cover:

LOVED!

big swiss by jen beagin: this is kind of in the same vein as headshot & generally in the same vein of a lot of general fiction i've been into lately. i've known about it for a while but did wonder whether it was worth getting it / whether it would do more than just scratch the itch that i already had scratched after reading headshot & let me tell you it absolutely did. big swiss follows a transcriber of a new york sex therapist who accidentally meets and becomes involved with one of his patients. greta, the protagonist, has got a lot of weird habits and thought-patterns but since the book is written from her pov it's easy to go along with the idea that this all isn't THAT weird until it really starts to be reflected back at her through other people when big swiss starts talking about her in the therapy sessions greta transcribes and onwards. it's really good, i also love that greta's a bit older than a lot of the protagonists in books like these that i've read. i also love this cover with the painting on it but i personally had a copy with an illustration of big swiss & greta's dogs (even tho piñon was brown on the cover, not black, but i'm letting it go) which was very cute as well.

chouette by claire oshetsky: iykyk. this book is really good for many reasons but let me introduce it by saying it was good because it handles a VERY tricky subject matter and does so with incredible grace. chouette follows the birth and childhood of chouette, an owl-baby which came about after Tiny had sex with her female owl lover in a dream. (i don't have my copy with me rn but the opening line is something along the lines of "it was a shock to me when i discovered i was pregnant after i dreamt i had sex with an owl lover, especially because my owl lover was a woman." <- that but like. good writing. i wish i could remember the phrasing better) in this book the concept of an "owl baby" is actually a stand in for having a child with mental development issues. chouette is an owl-baby in a world of dog-children, that sort of thing. i was very cautious when reading this book bc it's told from the pov of tiny, who doesn't always love being a mother (and i'm sensitive about that topic so i didn't really know how i'd respond to this) and also the subject matter in general can go wrong in so many different ways. chouette is really good though, at no point does tiny think of her daughter as being anything other than who she is. she's not some genius savant nor is she broken & in need of fixing. she's simply a baby / young toddler with her own needs and desires and her own personality. very sweet, very emotional book. music plays a big role in this book (again, iykyk) and there's an accompanying playlist which i ended up not listening to bc i didn't have wifi but i do also like that aspect of it.

we go around in the night & are consumed by fire by jules grant: pros of moving in with someone who used to work in publishing & book selling: i now have access to a bunch of new books i've never heard of before. we go around in the night is an incredible book about an all-female gang in manchester (at least i think its manchester, i do not recall) and how they deal when one of their members is shot and killed. the plot and concept themselves are really good but what stands out especially is the writing style which is in part stream of consciousness and in a larger part just very particular to the pov character & how their mind works. we follow the povs of the head of the gang and the daughter of the woman who was killed. it's very emotional, very rough to read bc it deals so much with grief and also it's so intimate because with the way it's written you just feel so deeply inside the characters' minds. really cool.

fantasy break: i reread all of my branderson books (or at least the cosmere ones), so that's the first mistborn trilogy, warbreaker & the first 4 stormlights. not gonna summarise those indiv bc i'm pretty sure none of my followers on this blog give a fuck but i am actually very pleased to have re-read them bc 1. i love them and 2. it's made the scope of the cosmere a bit more understandable again. also i get very emotional about fantasy & cried like a baby at the end of mistborn & also at the end of oathbringer. and at the middle of rhythm of war. when adolin's in shadesmar with maya? yeah. sobbing.

little, big by john crowley: i listened to this on audiobook every day for about 2 weeks as i walked my dogs and did my chores and what have you. this audiobook is 24 hours long and usually that's my limit on audiobook length, anything longer than that & i start to check out mentally, but i could honestly listen to little, big forever. if you don't know it's this multi-generational novel about faeries and a family involved with them tangentially through the contact one of the early women had with faeries when she lived in the uk. it's a book about an american family though and though the faeries are ever-present in the actions and consequences that befall this family, it's so much more about love. familial love, romantic love, love for a place, love. it's absolutely incredible and read by the author who has the most wonderful accent (maine, i believe?) which just transports you even more into the world of these people. i'm generally all for a novel read by a trained & skilled narrator, not the author (reading is a skill) but john crowley does a very good job and anyway i didn't mind it when voices sounded alike because you understood who was speaking anyway just by what they were saying and anyway it's a family so it's okay if they sound similar. truly such a wonderful experience, i really loved this book.

others i read and just want to quickly mention: giovanni's room, gut symmetries, the book of elsewhere (i love china miéville etc etc), edinburgh (by alexander chee) & a couple more but these are the ones that i enjoyed most / got most out of

[tabe4]

This game is like a fucked up version of wobbledogs but I gotta say I like the "feed this creature shit and see what happens" gameplay. The "fuck around and find out" genre if you will.

OOC: i've never actually heard of that game but yes JKBSDBKFBJKSDF i'm also having fun seeing what happens, everyone's submissions surprises me as much as it surprises everyone else, and i have fun seeing how users keep skirting around some deaths somehow or finding stuff i didn't expect them to BSDBFBSD

the relentless hunger death and the one upcoming was considered rare cuz i didn't expect users to submit so many insane submissions, but yall found them incredibly fast omg

for inspo tho (and an info dump),

i was considering several types of video game formats before trying this one. after tobaiblog (which is still on backburner i just gotta do some assets i just dont wanna do rn smh) i realised something like that is fun but can be overwhelming with how many options you had and a character who is unwilling to give any hints. i wanted something more simple and intuitive, and i think giving very limited ways to interact w the game provides a more authentic video game vibe while also being more intuitive.

initially i was messing w a labyrinth game concept and ill likely try it later down the line, w an rpg aspect to it and an end goal. but i felt that it was still complicated to interact with. i started thinking about other video game formats, like a visual novel, or pet care games. those things are simple in options for interaction, but i wanted some kind of horror undertone or element that would give more interest than just interact w the characters.

i decided on the idea of the pet care game but focused entirely on the feeding, it was simplified, there wasn't a lot of things to keep track of, and it allows users to be creative with the limitations given to them.

i was partly inspired by Can Your Pet (if u dont know anything abt it and like this blog, please try it, it's like a 10 or so min game iirc. dont look at spoilers if u want to play it cuz it has a twist at the end. idk if its still free but when it was popular it was hosted online for free on many game sites) and Happy Tree Friends to an extent, but also some analog horror content. subverting expectation of something cute into something weird or creepy as things progressed was primarily what i wanted to pull from these

the diary option was mulled over a lot as i wanted a way for users to interact directly w the characters made and i had a number of ideas for this at first. then i remembered in town of salem, you have a death note (haha) you can write in that will be shown if you die, and i was like oh an in game note system would be perfect to manipulate and also fit into the whole pet care sim vibe.

the death list was conceptualised as i needed a goal for players, and the cosmetic unlocks were also a fun reward. tho i think people at this point aren't going for looking for specific deaths but rather seeing how the character reacts to things (which is fair cuz i also figured half the appeal would be the character reaction to things, which is why i draw unique reactions to food 99% of the time~)

[thefreshchannel]

about to start the last two eps but here are some thoughts and criticisms also s2 finalist/winner spoiler (again i havent watched the finale so thoughts not final)

The concept of priyaleb was cute but. It really did take the whole season….like. Its not even a fun will they wont they kinda watch anymore its like when tda hyperfocused on gwent and duncney, like sure u got things going on in the background like the mkulia alliance that was happening and damien finding his edge, but it all feels so minimal compared to the screen time priyaleb gets in my opinion. In contrast, when in tdwt aleheather was the main focus, they shared a lot of their screentime with other things going on in the background or even took the backseat to give other (not so good) plot lines a shot.

Maybe it’s just the 13 ep format instead of the 26 eps the old seasons had, but in here it feels like you want to see more of everyone else so much. Damien and nichelle found an edge, but were pushed to the very back or written out early so not a lot was explored. Ripper and axel got together and nothing else happened with them, sure they can a funny watch but when they realized they didnt want to do anything w them anymore they just sent them out.

I’m on ep 11 rn and raj JUST got kicked out. Theres 2 eps of the season, we barely have enough time to make him learn to be independent from raj??? I feel??? I dont know i dont feel he did much of ANYTHING to guarantee him a spot in the final 3, let alone winning the season. I am just not connecting w him. Like sure he is nice but when i think of him i just see him only as raj’s buddy. We dont know much about him other than he likes hockey, he’s supportive of his friend, he’s nice, he’s not very smart. But nothing in him screams finalist/winner to me? He was just very much in the background until now.

Maybe i’m being too judgy and could change my mind in the next two eps, we’ll see lol