#but i dont have anything or anyone that grounds me. like theres nothing i can come back to its just empty space out there

[phagodyke]

not really relevant to anything but sometimes I just rly wish I had something core that made everything else feel real and worth it. ykwim

[ganondoodle]

you know, i had a totk thought (uh oh)

soemthign thats really bothering me about the whole "actually, ganondorf didnt like the guy appearing out of nowhere marrying a hylian and just saying yep das our kingdom now and we can mine it barren under your nose and also i got laserbeam pebbles that i totally wont ever use on anyone come join me or die just bc of all of that but mainly bc the guy brought some weird tech with him that he dont like" - thing is that ......... we see almost not a single tech thing in the past (and for that matter see nothing of the oh so perfect and peaceful paradise hyrule was before big evil desert man didnt want to join our paradise- like what is the point about making the whole point of the game be -we need to restore hyrule to this paradise it once was- when you dont even see it or get to care about anything of it)

it might sound like a weird hangup but no really, the most we see is like two servant constructs, thats it, when they 'prepare for war' im pretty sure all you see is some lightly dressed ( ... is it just me or does their whole get up look alot like native american/other indingenous people too ... i still dont know how to feel about that- kinda adjacent to some of the sonau armor, the battery one i think??, also having that look...) hylians with spears, where the heck is all that tech?? is it implied to be all down in the mines hollowing out the underground (for no real reason either bc .... theres only two sonau left and no one else seems to want use nor need the tech otherwise there should have been more traces or soemthing left of it -unless it all just magically appeared out of nowhere in mostly prime condition while all shiekah tech jsut vaporized for bs non reasons just for it to be in tha game but oh dont you see its always been there lmao- so whats the point really????)

or up in the sky as most battle constructs are and they cant get them down in time bc *gestures vaguely*

or is it intentionally kept out of view bc idk seeing an army of robots on raurus side he can send out on a whim might not make him look as oh so good and perfect as they want him to look when he already got laserbeam pebbles (most of which hes been hoarding until ONE falls into hands not under his control) ?? like it just ... feels weird?? so many battle constructs that can even be a threat to link are jsut fully functioning strolling around in the present still, why wouldnt you want to use any of them to battle gan and if they DID why wouldnt you show that (no the 3 second unicorn cutscene doesnt count bc its just .. gan and his monsters isnt it) ?? (also ... why isnt there a big like battle ground , like fine you dont have to animate an army of monsters and robots clashing but... wouldnt it be cool to have you discover a giant flat plain in the underground (that magically got put under ground like gan just decided to stroll down there to get sealed lol) and its the only mostly empty field in the game littered with thousands of monster bones and dead constructs intermingled?? just to give it all a bit of weight?? evidence that it happened?? cool ass discovery????)

(also also i cannot let go of ganondorf apparently being sooooo anti tech but then clamgan uses the shiekah stuff??? shouldnt he also be against that then or is that suddendly fine bc- oh woops sorry, forgot clamgan is actually just something, not connected to gan at all actually, i mean why else would miasma turn into malice only to turn into miasma again haha none of that is connected actually what is a calamity anyway? also im sorry to bring this up again but i just cannot let go of the ppl in the present being so obsessed with using sonau tech in every part of their life now- they just lived through an apocalypse of a barely understood strange tech but CLEARLY this other even less understood strang tech is not dangerous at all lets make CARS OUT OF IT and what theres no danger in miasma and that tech existing at the same time LIKE SOMETHING ELSE BEFORE THAT IDK SEEMS LIKE A BAD COMBO--- oh sorry forgot that ceased to exist in both the world and peoples minds for *gestures vaguely* plot reasons- why why why are monsters mining the sonanium?? they dont even work with the yiga no that is also completely disconnected we dont wanna draw and interesting connections after all- whats the point if it means nothing but to be a loot box for the player-- actually, so much of totk is just a so built around throwing you into a box of toys with no substance to it- listen i know games are kinda like toys but if it doesnt make sense and offers you nothing interesting to think about even slightly whAT IS THE POINT)

[soomanymoths]

"Trying to destroy them" is such a hyperbolic statement (very on brand for crink). Im not destroying anyone - im fully in my right to be transparent about how i was mistreated. If you dont want to have bad things said about you - dont do bad things. Crinkle did a lot of fucked up things. And no, this is not some distant past. Only very recently did crinkle apologize to his wife for cheating and actually showed any kind of shame over his behavior towards her. He continues to lie and try to cover for himself in regards to how he treated me. "Wild things" 100% real things that i have proof for... and honestly what i shared pales in comparison to some other shit crinkle pulled during all this :') Idk what u mean by checking tags - feels like u misunderstood / didnt read correctly tbh? I always knew what fic i was reading! The explicit nature of the fic was NEVER an issue for me. The issue was that both Crinkle and Krys acted as if their brains leaked out in the discord server i made for several people - they used absolutely no content warnings, they roleplayed very explicitly anywhere they wanted while being fully aware Nightjarteeth (cr's spouse) is uncomfortable with SA, r*pe, etc. We had RP & NSFW channels for a reason - they didnt use them when it was appropriate. And while i personally have high tolerance, waking up and seeing discussions about a teenager being sodomized with a hot curling iron in a channel meant for selfies, pets etc. first thing in the morning was a bit much even for me. No warnings, no spoiler marking, nothing. Very cool and considerate /s. Honestly what you wrote just reads like you didnt bother to read what i put out - I stated my issues very clearly. But no matter, your choice to blindly believe whatever Crinkle peddles to their readers. It is pretty gullible though, for anyone to believe what he says based solely on the fact they like his fic. As you said - you dont know this person. But i do. His wife does. Two other irl's called out crinkle oh his behavior as well. The truth is not always pretty. Honestly the bottom line is that what Crinkle is doing / has done had real life consequences and that pales in comparison to me making fanart and asking questions. Both Night and I were severely hurt and mistreated in all this - it's unfortunate you're not willing to put it on the equal ground with whatever Crinkle and Krys say.

CrinklyTinfoil bs

Just a collection of receipts since krys decided to go ahead and spew such backwards bs im no longer willing to keep this to myself - i only did in the first place because crinkles spouse (nightjarteeth) asked me to keep it tucked away for a while (Night is aware of the events and supports me in the situation last i checked). Crinkle really hates the idea of their behavior backfiring & someone they hurt speaking about the experience. They will do anything to discredit people, doesnt matter if they caused the sitch in the 1st place. Its all about appearances, distorting events and grasping at straws for them. If you're their reader and you choose to believe them - remember they were comfortable pulling wool over the eyes of their spouse and someone they called a "dear friend". Ask yourself why anyone else would be exempt from this. I might update this when i have more time on my hands.

[mabel-angelo]

I repeat, I mean no harm. Helping people is about carefully steering them around risks. If you're going to build someone up, it may as well be on stable ground, no? Why set someone up for inevitable failure? A tall tower built on sand falls harder, after all.

Of course it doesn't. I completely agree. However I know how this will go, and while by no means do I intend to call you stupid or any other such term, as that would be completely inaccurate, I do possess tried-and-true advice that you may not just yet. Yes. I can make mistakes like any other. But I have live and learned. I strive to protect. That is my ..purpose, here. And I do this from "the shadows" because sometimes, that is the best way to go about it. Sometimes, in the midst of interpersonal conflicts, you need a calm, reassuring voice of reason to guide. A guide that you cannot see makes things easier... on both ends.

They are wonderful. Yes. Many are. That doesn't protect them from nature. From fate. Apologies, dear. But those do undoubtedly exist. Sorry to be a downer, as one might say, but the truth is such, no matter the else.

Ah. No, I urge you. Disregard that. I merely forgot what it was I was about to say, but it was nothing at all. Again, I have only the purest on intentions, and am perfectly aware of what I'm doing. It is with the greatest regret that you must perceive me so uncharitably. With hope I can convince you.

Well wishes.

not to call you a liar, but youre a liar! and youre not even good at it!

"carefully steering them"? THATS called manipulation! never helpful! like, ever! so literally shut up with your stupid fancy loser metaphors! theres no "inevitable failure" or whatever in calypso and grunkle ford being together. whether or not you "mean no harm" doesnt matter— youre CAUSING harm. so either you DO mean harm, or youre too self-centred to accept youre doing NO GOOD for ANYONE.

alsoooo, you totally make it sound like you think im stupid! and like, yeah, maybe im not as smart as dipper or my grunkles or anyone. but i still know what im saying! and i know what your doing. ...to an extent.

it makes things easier for you, you mean. not anyone youre trying to "help"! seriously, even i can tell that much. you are SO not fooling anybody, dude, just give up!

and yeah, pure evil intentions, probably! trustworthy people dont hide things. good people dont hide things. so dont tell me what to do! im not disregarding a single word! If you dont want to elaborate, we'll figure things out ourselves!

you wont convimce me of anything.

[huellitaa]

𖹭𓂃 ࣪˖ saying no

something ive struggled with for pretty much my entire life 😭

𐙚๋࣭ people pleasing:

a person who consistently strives to please others, often sacrificing their own wants or needs in the process.

trouble with saying no to people often comes from insecurity. when you feel bullied into things or backed into a corner too often it can lead to agreeing with everything and anything just so people will like you.

1. take small steps

getting out of habits like this are not easy whatsoever and take lots of time. taking small steps to implement getting rid of people pleasing tendencies is the best way to go about this; for example, just blocking someone who bothers you and starting from there.

2. fake it till you make it !

confidence is something absolutely essential but not easy to attain; thats where this skill comes in handy. ive been doing this since i was little and i wont lie and say it melts into real confidence because it doesnt, its just a shield to hide behind until your are genuinely confident and id definitely recommend this 100% to anybody starting or struggling to try and break this habit. act like youre fine & unaffected in front of the people who put you in this position even if you arent. dont show your weaknesses when you know they can be used against you.

3. valuing yourself

value yourself over all else. you are the most important person in your life. validate, support, and value yourself. trust your judgement is right and prioritise the protection of your peace above all else because that is the most important thing.

4. body language

ok as a girl with an incredibly infuriating tendency to turn red over the tiniest thing i feel a little bit of a hypocrite writing this but this is very very very important. if you find yourself in a position where you feel unable to refuse something or anything of the sort you do not show that.

🩰 ─ even if your cheeks turn red act like they arent. ik its sosoosos embarrassing n ur screaming inside but act like its nothing. bcs it is nothing. ok so theres a tiny bit of colour in your cheeks. and? stand your ground.

🧸── back straight, shoulders high, face blank. you dont show anything on your face. show you are completely stubborn and set on your choice/opinion.

🎀 ── if they try to embarrass you or say smth what i do is i literally just blink at them like okay. i dont care. do whatever bro idgaf

5. no hesitation

for the love of god do not second guess yourself. if something makes you upset or uncomfy or anxious or anything like that you leave them you walk away from them you block them you do not second guess yourself and think "but what if" no idc. if it costs you your peace its too expensive.

6. does this help me?

ok obviously when i say to say no i dont mean to like everything. only to the things you do anyway even if you dont want to. if youre not sure what to do when faced with the option to do something you ideally wouldnt really want to the first question you should be asking yourself is "does this help me?" think of it only from your perspective and how it would help you. ask yourself if its really necessary and if its serving you in any way to do this. if its just to fit in with someone else even if you dont really want to then do it then dont do it. why isnt your own presence enough? your peace is the only priority you should have here. what would you tell someone you love in your position? think about it for a sec instead of panicking.

conclusion; people pleasing is useless. you are the centre of ur universe. your peace is the only priority. people are stupid. you can do this. dont let anyone make you feel less than you are. i love u 🫶🩷

[pansy-picnics]

ugh if there’s one thing this world needs is more Cass and Eugene interaction, like I don’t just mean bickering and the sort. Like actually being there for one another when they’re upset and helping each other out.

I’ve literally found about 2 fanarts where it’s just them and they’re not getting at each other! I still think that they would bicker but it would actually be way less intense and spite-fuelled after the series and they’d find some common ground, especially since they are the only ones (beside Pascal ofc) who know what it’s like to have died and come back to life, I can’t imagine how relieved Eugene would be to get to talk to someone about it and have them actually understand.

I hc anyway that after Cass came back she was like super out of it, and Eugene knew exactly how she felt and could help her, I think Cass would also be relieved that someone else knew what it was like and could sympathise with her.

I think though one of my absolute favourite hcs I’ve seen for them is that after Cass comes back Eugene defo sorts out Cass’ haircare routine and looks after her hair for her, cause he more than likely has wavy/curly hair too (but just straightens it most of the time). And although Cass is like super reluctant to let him help at first, she eventually gives in and it’s like the best her hair has been in forever so she just lets him do it regularly from then on and it’s just their thing. Also it gives Cass a chance to open up as well (no eye contact, relaxed and something to distract her if it gets too bad) which she definitely needs especially straight after coming back to the castle post ziti.

But yeah I neeeed more of these idiots interacting cause they literally have my heart istg (and also the show did nothing for them really post s1)

Hah realised I’ve just gone on a rant but like it 2am and I’m sleep deprived, sorry! :)))

anon you’re so right and let me just tell you ive felt exactly the same way for SO long so youve come to the right person

^ obviously theres been more since this was posted but THIS is a rlly good masterpost of art of them. THIS is a cassgene/uknighted dream triad fic and i dont know if thats your thing but it basically captures the exact bonding moment that you mentioned imo it fits them SUPER well both romantically and platonically!!

ur so right about the hair thing also omfg cass is the WORST out of all of them when it comes to taking care of her hair. like whenever it gets too long she just grabs the first sharp object she can find and cuts it all off. her ends are so broken and frizzy its SO bad. but eugene and rapunzel force her to do little spa days with them all the time. cass is very practical and really doesnt understand the point but she just likes spending time with both of them.

honestly as much as i love them i havent drawn a lot of art of cass and eugene individually….but theyre best friends actually. like they have banter and they tease each other but my general interpretation of them and uknighted dreams relationship is just. Comfortable. theyve come around to accept their differences and have a shared sense of solidarity with each other. and not just bc of rapunzel either!!! they hang out without her just as often and they genuinely have come to understand one another. they like to spar together and rapunzel watches while she works on anatomy sketches.

they’re not going out of their way to be physically affectionate or anything, but i try to make it obvious in my uknighted dream art that they arent averse to it either. it’s always the little things for me man!!!! the subtle affectionate gazes or the casual hand on the shoulder or just a gentle hand hold its so. IMPORTANT ok!!!!!!

they understand each other on a deep psychological level and yet they regularly tell the other to kill themselves. they are literally everything to me. i need to draw them soon

[letmeoutofthebasementt]

who in skz and ateez give you the ick the most and who in the two groups makes you cringe the most?

bangchan bro is a manchild and has no boundaries with stay enough said, would be very dramatic in a relationship but as always stay will overworship the grounds this grown man walks oj when he is indeed a walking red flag

lee know or seung min is second for me in skz, i dont like their behaviour the way they mistreat certain members is as childish as school bullies and their dgaf attitude stinks just grow up. i dont know why but they make me so annoyed even writing about them gives me the ick. more red flagged than chan tbh. im certain lee know would only want a relationship if he has someone to do things for him.

for ateez its

hongjoong again these leaders arent beating the manchild vibes lots of people worshil him in a romantic sense but i dont get no romantic vibes from him again he uses hwa as his personal maid but i adore his performances yet i would not see myself dating someone who cannot cook nor clean after themselves. red flag material right there.

hmm i debated this one but wooyoung only cares about himself. often has such a potty mouth that no one stops him from saying some really hurtful unfunny things again bit like lee know there seems to be more about feeding his ego than helping anyone else out if he ever get in a relationship id be surprised that it last longer than a month prox. again more red flagged than the leader. but hes another heavily worshipped member that i just dont vibe with i think hes too rude at times to his members or even others without realising and he hides behind this demeanor trying to be funny but its rude asf. yet people think hes so wonderful yes at performing but personally not my type of partner.

i think my problem is i can see through an idols idol image but people will really overworship their faves and claim this and that about them to defend their feelings because they dont ever want to see their faves in a bad light yet i think many of them are often worse than they deem themselves to be.

i also feel like they can easily manipulate their fans into having stockholm syndrome like their fans will just be ohhh he is so dateable and theres nothing wrong he could do but they never consider the fact these idols really really know how to perform to make people idolise them in such ways. especially given how young most stays seem to be in their teen years and again i like their performances but thats it for me. i aint being deluded no more yet if we try to ever comment anything undeluded we get shitted on for it.

what do you think about this? its ridiculous the lengths people will go to to absolutely claim their faves can do no wrong when its obvious in their on camera behaviour. i almost feel too old to be caring about this stuff but i see it more and more how whacked out it is, bangchan and stays relationship is like a toxic ex that never lets go of the relationship so what do some idols really expect people to be like towards them? they practically encourage unhealthy behaviours from the get go. "hey chan pin me up the wall" chans response "say please?" just yikes big effing no.

This is all just my opinion since I don’t know them.

First off Stockholm syndrome is wild 😭

You can just say they can make their fans delusional but like Stockholm syndrome is very different and very serious?

It’s not something to be taken lightly or thrown around

Also same with manipulate just in the connotation you used it in

I agree that they definitely feed into a lot of fans’ delusions and such

But it’s their job to

Now, I don’t think any particularly make me cringe more than others. Other than Mingi. I love him. He’s one of my faves. But that “Gotta work gotta make that money make purse” whisper thing haunts me.

Still love him and I have nothing against him.

But yeah, they all make me cringe sometimes. All people do.

I can agree, however, that a lot of them have very apparent red flags. I can also agree that fans can be overly delusional

With the Chan “say please?” thing I think that’s mostly fanservice. And also like…How else do you respond to that in his situation? He can’t overtly turn the fan down if he wanted to. This is a job. It never necessarily rubbed me the wrong way. Don’t get me wrong I’m not all into it going Gaga or whatever, but he’s an idol. His JOB is to appeal to the masses and feed into the delusion because that’s what pays and feeds him.

Honestly with Chan he’s always been very interesting to me. He reminds me of a teen parent a lot. In the sense of he never had quite got the chance to grow up but also had to grow up too fast at the same time. So you have that balance of being overly immature and overly mature. I wouldn’t call him a manchild though, he never gave me those vibes.

Honestly he seems more responsible than what people give him credit for. I feel like with Chan he’s just more mature in general than he’s given credit for, even with how he interacts with his group and certain situations.

But I think the disconnect is how deeply delusional he can be overtly. Which honestly I can understand. He’s a prime example of what happens when essentially your entire life from 13 to 27 is devoted on one thing. You start to worship it, almost. Put it on a platter and view it as the best thing ever. Do whatever you can to appeal to it. Become obsessed with it.

It’s part of what I hate about how young trainees are. You’re told your entire life that your fans are all that matters. You can’t date because you’d be betraying your fans. Have to be perfect so your fans love you and you want their love. Have to act both ‘sexy’ and ‘cute’ so that your fans will adore you, but lean into one too heavily and you’ll be too much. And most of all his life is dictated by them.

I feel like imo the Stockholm syndrome title if applicable to anyone in the situation goes to the idols.

Now, I can see the immaturity in him. I’m not saying it’s not there. But I wouldn’t call him a man child.

Like even looking at how he handled the situation of not being able to debut. He was a trainee for 7/8 years and never debuted. Of course an argument can be made of his immaturity because of that. But it takes a very very mature person to be able to sit there and say “I’ll debut when it’s my time to debut” and push through that. Or at least a very strong person.

This may just be my personal opinion.

And to say he has no boundaries with stay I feel is both accurate and innacurate. He has boundaries when it comes to certain things. Stay is often the one lacking boundaries. And if you spend 7 years with people pushing and pushing and disrespecting your boundaries and viewing you as an object you’ll start to believe there aren’t any boundaries there.

Does he say some cringeworthy stuff because of it? Yes. But the behavior in and of itself is entirely understandable.

With Lee Know and Seungmin I wouldn’t say they mistreat members. You can tell they care about the other members. But I can agree they can go to far in the things they say. Now, I’m not going to claim I’ve seen everything SKZ has ever done. Namely those two. But from what I’ve seen mistreatment is an over exaggeration of the highest order.

You’re acting as if Lee Know is a selfish person who doesn’t like someone who can’t do all kinds of stuff for people which isn’t something he’s necessarily shown? I can agree that sometimes he takes what he may believe as light hearted teasing or playful words too far. I’m not saying he doesn’t. But you can tell he never necessarily means for it to be purposeful.

And Stray Kids themselves have even stated he’s less like that with Felix because Felix can’t handle it. Which, using media literacy, means that if someone voices they don’t like it or he can tell they can’t take it he won’t do it. And Lee Know also added I.N to that and said he doesn’t fool around with him as much.

I’ve had friends who are similar. I even have family who are very similar. When you’re used to people showing their affection by…I don’t want to say making fun of you but making fun of you and saying certain things, you start doing that.

I’m not saying that’s his case. I don’t know him. But it’s an example.

And you can tell he’s caring. You can tell he cares about his members. You can even tell from the Muslim kid he’s been sponsoring.

Now, he has very apparent red flags I’ve seen. Like I said, he takes things too far sometimes. And honestly I don’t know what you mean by grow up. You can tell he cares about things but generally he doesn’t let things get to him because he’s mature. I know this statement is…Annoying, but some times things simply are not that deep. Plain and simple. He can understand it.

If there’s certain times he’s taken that too far I don’t know. I haven’t seen all of SKZ’s content.

With Seungmin, I haven’t watched a lot of stuff about him. I’ve only seen things he’s said to Bangchan about being old, and I can’t remember Chan’s reaction so I really can’t tell if he took offense to it/was hurt by it or not. Depending on Chan’s reaction it’s an entirely different…Comment? Dunno if that makes sense but I can’t find any other way to word it.

With Hongjoong I can admit I don’t consume a lot of Ateez content outside of their music and some interviews/moments I see on my feed. Mostly because I’m a more casual enjoyer of them than anything. But I’ve never seen him act like a man child? Ever?

If you have clips that give you those vibes let me know but I haven’t seen them.

Wooyoung I can see where you get certain things from. IMO, a lot of those things just read as he’s too…I guess confident. Bold. Unapologetically all up in your face saying whatever. People like that can sometimes be rude because they don’t take the time to think before they say or do things. They just do.

Though I don’t see the selfish aspect. You can tell he loves and cares for his members and even his friends outside of Ateez like Changbin/Felix for example since we’re on the topic of SKZ.

Maybe this is a difference of perspectives or content consumed. I don’t know. I hope you don’t feel like I’m trying to like…Disprove you or discredit your opinion because I’m not. I’m more giving my two cents on what’s said.

But yeah, people need to stop pretending their faves do no wrong. Because they do MUCH wrong. They have their ‘WTF’ moments and their cringe moments because they’re human.

But ngl I feel like (No hate or offense by this) you may fall into the polar opposite? Like you’re giving them too much grief for very human things they do and kind of bringing them to an extreme.

But it also might be because I’m the type of person who tries to think of the reasoning of an act rather than the act itself. Though the act always weighs in. And I’m also much less…Emotional? Generally? I attach less to it even if I can understand other’s emotions.

I like to look at all aspects of a situation. That can also be a disconnect

But yeah, in conclusion idols are humans with red flags who do very human things I guess

This reads like a rant but is not one 😭

[ankhisms]

rambling under the cut im fine dw

me: i need to stop always being so deeply afraid of people hating me or annoyed with me. people are allowed to dislike me for whatever reason, people are allowed to be annoyed by me, people are allowed to feel whatever they feel towards me and theres nothing i can do to control their feelings, nor should i want to control their feelings. i should just allow myself to exist and whoever likes me likes me and whoever doesnt doesnt and thats fine. i have to stop being so worried its tearing me apart.

me five minutes later: gotta go back to my job in the worried about if people hate me mines

my paranoia really frustrates me and i know the source of a lot of this is from a lifetime of being abused and neglected and harrassed and it doesnt help that i know its not just my paranoia when it comes to my abuser- i know for a fact that he does in fact want me dead and regularly would stalk my old blog and either send me himself or have his friends send very specific threats with details only he would know. so its the kind of thing where its hard to dismiss the paranoia by saying its not grounded in reality because i know he very much does want to finish what he started.

but besides that it can be really easy for me to fall into obsessive spiraling when i try to calmly talk to myself about this, like i tell myself that i should stop worrying about if people hate me and should just focus on being myself and being kind to others and doing whatever i can to help people and learn about the world and the people in it and listen to other people and be compassionate while not tolerating bigotry, but when my brain simpilifies this by saying "we should just try to be a good person" it starts to do morality spiraling like ok what does it mean to be a good person?

i cant just say well im a good person/i want to be a good person and pat myself on the back and call it a day thats not how it works, just like how kindness is a choice and is one we must continue to choose every day. i dont want to hurt anyone but i also dont want to fall apart and make everything about me/victimize myself if i did somehow hurt someone or did something wrong. but then theres also the fact that ive been punished all my life for just existing and have been painfully forced into masking and trying to seem ""normal"" and punished even further when im unable to mask or when i need help or have a meltdown etc etc so its very difficult to tell myself that i need to just allow myself to exist and be myself because im used to 25 years of being punished for that yknow.

my mind is getting fuzzy now but being a person is so weird and difficult and every day i feel more like im some kind of creature whos trying and failing to seem human. in the end i just want everyone to be okay and safe and to live comfortably and to be able to thrive and be respected and supported but at the same time i never apply that same thinking to myself, i still internally agree with my abuser and all the adults/my peers who told me i deserved pain and to be mistreated and could never have anything good and could never want anything. im working hard on challenging that thinking but its hard. anyway thanks if you read all this im fine i promise i just need to ignore my brain spiraling and distraxt myself

[dexaroth]

opinions on open world/creative/base building games

the one thing that always gets me about games that either are centered on or have elements pertaining to being able to build stuff like a base/house or a city or reshaping the world to your liking is that they always leave out some key elements that are practically quintessencial to engaging with the building at all

speaking from experience (and from playing acnh recently) those types of games either dont encourage the player enough to put effort into things or the things you can build end up having little to no practical purpose

the first game that comes to mind of the latter is vanilla minecraft. arguably infinite possibilities, but you're limited to the blocky style and you can quite easily beat the game and go on for irl/ in- game years without building a base at all. let alone homes or cities, since theres only you and villagers but they arent really company since theyre too busy hrrrnging their way with other villagers. theyre just a game element and i doubt anyone ever thought of them as genuine npcs. you can build castles, spaceships, anything! but theyll always be unnecessary compared to shutting yourself in a dirt hut - or villagers for that case. and even if you ignore that (and modding ands multiplayer for that case lol) then you still have to come up with the ideas for actual buildings yourself, AND then. even if you have everything in mind. building it is so painful, even with scaffolding. ive seen this opinion multiple times but minecraft simply doesnt benefit from its survival aspect. theres nothing thats worth digging all that ground and building that huge castle when it comes to time spent. its so cumbersome and unfun

the sims' house building id say is practically unparalleled - though it has plenty of limits (and furnishings behind paywalls of course) it still suffers because youre not an actual player. that house is for sims only, for people that arent you. and even if you could play there, you'd still be stuck in the game world that you cant influence like you can house lots.

while i havent played it, theres also technically house flipper but its one of those simulator games that dont have much in replayable/satisfying game loops to keep you going, and your house isnt the center point either. it also suffers from the no npc things. youre fixing houses, yet its all done through menus and no interaction (which id say works well for the game's workflow, but not belivability imo)

then theres something like terraria. it gets bonus points from having a housing system, but it still doesnt ask enough of the player and because of its genre ive always found it annoying to have to build their houses anyways. a huge majority of the good blocks are gated behind the end game, and by the time you get to build a nice house, you practically dont even need one. the enemies can also be countered somewhat easily and the npcs are, again, just that. shopkeepers that most of the time just die like boss fodder. ironically that always encouraged me to build their houses far away so they dont die.. not very helpful in creating a sense of community

the forest has a really good system and a lot of replayability, though there are barely any furnishings and everything is made out of logs. of course its not meant to be the end-all of building games and its focused on survival, but you have very good reasons to build a base, and you can get quite creative with them

and last but not least, the one that made me think about and write about this in the first place - new horizons. the creativity it allows is amazing. there are many screenshots that are incredible and barely look like the game at all. and even though there are literal hundreds of villagers and theyre more expressive than ever, they still fall flat. the islands, again, can be amazing. but almost everything is entirely cosmetic, the predefined paths and fences are very limited and so are the color choice for furnitures (though im guessing a lot if not all of these are limitations due to the console hardware/storage size). they have nicely introduced more custom design spaces and even a horizontal mirroring tool, but not an actual tiling editor.. even with the dlc they introduce stuff like wall partitions and room resizing, but the partitions can only use the main wallpaper and you cant resize the rooms in your house. and even though its nice to have a nice house, again.. outside multiplayer, theres not much purpose to them (SPECIALLY when i have to sit through loading screens to get to any of them. are you kidding me??). at best you can have a toilet to get rid of the fruit points, a kitchen for cooking and i guess a bedroom for going to dream towns.. or you could have a bed, an oven and a toilet in your room. you know. ugh

it has a lot of strengths with the kind of toy/dollhouse vibe(??) its going for, like how the house's insides are completely different from their outsides but it also means you cant have cute stuff like seeing your island from outside, seeing your villagers through windows, or just having an actual big house n stuff.

idk man.. they always seem to either lack a reason to build, or if they give you reasons to build theyre so weak you can often just not build at all. maybe im asking too much but is there ever gonna be a game that gives you a reason to build and keep going at the same time? :(

imagine if you still had villagers like acnh, but they had good dialogue and commented on your stuff/decisions, while also only moving in because you built a shop or a market or a city to live in. and the reason you built that is because your goal in-game is to be a chef or an adventurer or something, and you werent limited to an island or pre-made furniture.. something in-between the sims' cartoony realistic proportions and acnh's childish toy designs when it comes to aesthetics.. could you imagine

[the-kipsabian]

tell me about kip and what is your fave thing about him?

how long do you have cause i can be here all day....

hes just. wonderful. all around. never met a nicer, more realist and grounded man than he is. not to even mention how inclusive and respectful he is and he tries to make his spaces to be (and before anyone says anything, i know hes not perfect, he obviously has his flaws as he is still a stupid human being, but from multiple personal experiences i can tell he does his best). like fr hes just such a good bean, and ive never heard anyone say a bad word about him when someone has interacted with him

and then ofc his in character work is incredible. how he manages to build and tell compelling stories and keep developing himself and his character while hes at it. hes so talented on the mic and brings a really interesting flare into the ring and hes just a delight to watch, and ive especially been enjoying watching his recent heel work mocking his opponents in ridiculous ways. also the back arch but we dont have time to unpack that rn--

but uuuh yeah he plays like.. at this specific point in time im not sure about the character to be quite honest? he calls himself a 'pro wrestling artist' as he keeps weaving and telling stories through his work and arcs, but idk how thats currently working out for him (i blame lack of tv time which is such a fucking curse 😔). hes more or less alligned in a trios team(/stable) with butcher and blade atm, i think they are gonna use the deadly alliance name at least for now - apart from them being kips friends/hired guns i dont really know whats going on over there either storywise. again, the curse of lack of tv time ugh. but even with that said, they are a great team with an incredible connection with one another, and they play their designated roles so well. also they are just happy to work together which is more than enough for me to enjoy them c:

also hes just hot so like. idk what else i gotta say honestly LOL

hes so hard to explain tbh lol, but i hope this'll do at least somewhat. also no i cant still really explain the box phase he had last year unless personal headcanons count (tho confirmed canon fun fact, he was non-verbal in character with the box one which made me incredibly happy to learn), but also that boxman cryptid era was my EVERYTHING. i have a tattoo of him on my arm for (multiple) reason(s) lol

as far as my favorite thing, god theres so many... but tbh i just love him a lot because of how good of a bean he is in general. ive never had a salty interaction with him once in like two years now, hes always very supportive and tolerates a lot of random bullshit from me (being a known fan has its perks lmao) and he has been nothing but understanding and respectful at me to a point of reaching out to me personally about some things to make sure i was comfortable with it. so like.. yeah hes just the best 💜

[softness-and-shattering]

Fully agree! The best thing about being trans is that we get to build our gender from the ground up. Ok its also one of the difficult things about being trans too. So you come to the realisation or decision that your identity seems to fit within the label of man. Awesome. SocietyTM has rules for is a man and what is not a man - different societies, subcultures, religions, locations, times etc can have quite differrent rules too. In some places if you have poetry memorised youre unmanly, in others youre a failure if you dont have a working knowledge of the classics.

The point being, theres room under the sun for every kind of man. What being a man means to you is entirely up to you. You can be super feminine, makeup, heels, perfume, children everything, and if you say youre a man youre a man. You can be anything and anyone and dont let anyone tell you otherwise. We dont police gender here. If youre a guy and you knit, congratulations youre a guy that knits! The only rule Id suggest is to pay attention to what draws you, what you wanna try, what makes you feel happy or excited or intrigued or safe.

People can and might try tell you what you can and cant do, but its your life and your decision. For a totally different context example, I was once at my grandparent place reading a comic, and my grandmother insisted to me that comics are for children, not for me. I just kept saying polite variations of "I want to read this because I enjoy it. What other people do doesnt matter to me, this is my choice and Im having fun". If it was someone other than my grandmother I mightve become less polite, though its best to not let things escalate for safetys sake.

You just gotta stick to your guns, to the very simple truth that this is your life, you choose your activities, you choose how to label your identity, you choose what name to be called. Thats it. Thats yours. Thats your right. Bullies tend to lose interest when they see theyre not making any headway, so dont let them change who you are and what you do. Youre a guy and you knit, and if they think thats unmanly, ok whatever. Not your problem. Not your definition of your gender. They can deny themselves whatever they like in their own lives, that has nothing to do with you.

Youre gonna be awesome.

I just wanted to say I really admire how effortlessly masculine you are but how you also love so many traditionally "feminine" things. I am working on coming out as a trans man and dread people telling me I'm not allowed to knit and stuff anymore

One of the annoying aspects of transition is you become this walking litmus test for weird gender essentialism - even in progressive folks - and you're gonna learn just how much people deprive themselves of personal joy because of it.

I cannot tell you how many well-meaning people ended up shitting on my hobbies out of a desire to give me "man lessons" that I never asked for in the first place.

All I can say is, stick to your guns. Sure, knitting has also historically been a masculine activity, but to acknowledge such feels like giving credence to the argument that you have to drop "unmanly" interests. Knit because you like to knit, not because you are "allowed to" based on some gendered technicality.

Don't feel like you need to sacrifice parts of yourself in order to transition. If the best version of you is a man who knits, or a man who likes pink, or a man who enjoys wearing makeup, resist the urge to destroy these pieces of yourself.

Detractors will attempt to weaponize everything about you in an attempt to de-legitimize who you are. The most radical thing you can do is show them how your passions only make you stronger.

The dread is real, but it gets easier to assert yourself over time. You might even find yourself becoming an ambassador to other men wrt your hobbies. Good luck!

[ganondoodle]

i might have already talked about this but i honestly cant remember if i did or if its one of my totk thoughts that keep haunting me in my head (and god knows how id find it on tumblr)

.. did they ever say how long link was gone for? like at the start? bc to me it feels like it must have been months or something given how some things are .. although others are the opposite

like the spypost alone is so weird to me, its a goddamn stupid place to put it, a SPYpost should either be concealed or in a hard to reach place with good look of the environment around it- which it doesnt have at all (despite higher up hills being right around the corner ...), who would put a spy post directly on flat ground at the castle doors?? (AND in a place where i think would have been the ONLY good place to put nothing there/dont change it- or have it bee a secret entrance into the castle you can find on your own .. if the castle was actually like a dungeon and inaccessible for the most time ...) makes even less sense if it was built before link disappeared bc wh- .. whats its purpose anyway? the calamity is gone and instead of rebuilding castle town or soemthing nearby you put the words least sensical spypost right at the front of the castle thats a dead dirty lump of rock (yes i know zelda mentions soemthing of the miasma being active or whatever but that changes nothing abotu how little sense thing darn thing makes to me .. ) (i will stand by my idea of rebuilding the ranch ruins into a little hub and tavern instead, a spypost can be a smaller thing higher up but that as a little new town and maybe with my personal little wish of having all your horses run around a ranch, of course its got little defense, this is a ranch and the calamity was gone and its not that close to the castle, its also rather in the middle of the map and a bigger wider area would be hard to miss, plus its using an old neat reference and making something meaningful out of it, soemthing this game is allergic to im- *breathes in* fine.)

death mountain, i assumed at least, cooled down with the cataclysm (.. way too serious sounding for .. largely just some pebbles falling from the sky) and it seems like theres alot of stuff built on there and even grass growing and everything, like its been that way for a long time, yunobo being dumbified by brainwash mask and the things he does also dont feel like they happen in a day or two

the other regions on the other hand ... ignoring how mcuh of a non issue the rito problem is (the oooooh blizzard doesnt even stop them from flying ..... its not freezing them either bc none of them wear any more clothes and just do business as usual .. but then food is supposed to be a problem? .... you .. you can fly ..... ... why wasnt the boss then a monster that eats everything of the region or soemthing ... a big ol worm razing entire forest, or .. you know, make the blizzard an actual problem, winds so strong you cant fly, temperature so low you freeze immediately without special armor), are just .. dealing with it themselves? and dont seem to even seek out the help of anyone else? like it literally just happend?

but then theres entire sonau research teams and people studying it but .. all the shit started to appear with the cataclysm ... so???? though zelda at the start talks about it like its been a well known every day life fact that the acnient stupid furry first king of gods holy lands was called rauru and he was a sonau (WHICH NO ONE KNEW ANYTHIGN ABOUT THE LITERAL ONYL THING KNOWN WAS THE ARMOR SET IN BOTW THAT ALSO DOESNT MATCH ANYTHING AT ALL TOTK SONAU) and his fridge wife was sonia like its just written in every history book and still somehow accurate (might i remind you its been MORE than TEN THOUSAND YEARS sicne then and nothign was known of them in botw) while no one remembers link from a 100 years ago, nor from 6 years ago, but then remembered the champions for the 100 year botw gap and then promptly forgot about them in totk (it really feels like that) BUT THEN you got kids in school that dont fking believe the calamity happend (which was defeated just like 6 years before that)

then again .... theres not a single soul on the sky islands, despite there, NOW more than ever, multiple ways to get up there, are you telling me everyones obsessed with the stupid sonau shit and then no one even tries to go up there??? arguing that it wasnt accessible until noodle zelda broke through the clouds at the end of the tutorial doesnt work bc those ruins already fell down, people must have known and no one even tried?? also they can go up there after it go opened up?? plus clearly the ruins were able to fall through also ... what even determines whether an island falls down or not? why do some fall when tHe dEmON kInG wakes up? you see it with those green sonau magic stuff but like .... who ... did that, both rauru and mineru were dead when zelda noodlefied herself and there everything was STILL on the ground? the only magical thing the constructs do is use fuse sometimes i dont think they can lift up all that shit .. clearly is wasnt rauru either bc he acts surprised about it being up here, but why does it falter when big il ganon man wakes up? mineru after the weird static non battle with ganondorf wasnt doing so hot and we have no idea how much time passed between that and the moment she goes into the purah pad (i could be annoying about that as well) either

in taburasa (tarrey town) they do all that shit with the sonau stuff, implying theres enough time that passed to make people tinker with it too so ?(though i still hate that bc its so .. shouldnt you of all people be scared of more techy bs materializing when the whole calamity is like back almost exactly like it was before? not even suspicious? no? you dont even know how it works yet everyone trying to work with it like there isnt anythign better to do??)

like with everything in this game it keeps contradicting itself, the inconsistency makes me want to rip my hair out anytime i try to make sense of it

[camsstorytime]

Mistreatment

Feeling mistreated is one of the worst feelings in the world. It makes you think, "What's the point in trying if it will never be enough?" I went through this my whole life. My step siblings would always get the gold while i was left with scraps. The crazy part was we could do the exact same thing and get completely different punishments. With me getting the short end of the stick always. My step brother would be failing a class and my step mom would do his work for him to catch him up. I would be failing a class and get grounded and yelled at. My step sister could start a rumor about a family member that is completely false and could ruin someones life but she was always allowed at home. I would express a bad situation that happened to me at the hands of a family member and be called a liar and get kicked out never to be allowed home again. My family members would go to the point of making crazy rumors about me that could get me arrested even when i was trying to express my feelings. They told these lies to themselves and others so much that in their minds they were true and that really was the person i was. They started telling people i was a danger to myself and others and were so convincing that no even police believed my story. Everyone's always looked at me as crazy and impulsive. And all i wanted was for someone to listen and believe me. When i got kicked out i had to move in with my dad who i hadn't talked to in 4 years. Him and his crazy girlfriend along with her kids and living with them was like hell on earth. Every day would be a new fight over something i'd be accused of doing and no matter how much proof i had they were dead set on me being the bad guy. It got to the point i just wanted to run away. So one day, after my dad's girlfriend told me "fuck you" when i stood up for myself about the mistreatment i packed my bags and my boyfriend offered me a place to stay. A few days after being gone i got calls and texts about how i was a piece of shit who would never amount to anything. From that day on i made it my goal to be everything they said i wasn't and couldn't be. It hurts so much to live life when nothing you do is ever enough and even when you've accomplished so much more than your step siblings its still not enough to at the very least be treated equally. What no one tells you when you leave that situation how hard it is to adjust to unconditional love and being equally treated. It didnt seem normal to have my accomplishments be recognized. To be praised instead of put down. No one tells you how hard that can be. It just seems so easy. It's a struggle every day to get used to a positive home. But do i regret it? Absolutely not. I'd rather relearn happiness than be stuck in eternal darkness. So if theres a way out of mistreatment take it. Dont worry about who you will lose or who will be mad. If they were worth something in your life they would not treat you like that in the first place.

Thank you for reading my second article if anyone has any recommendations or questions please let me know.

Cameron Shack

[penumbrialhexandroga]

So i really want a space where i can just write about and share my experiences / scream into the void.

Im unsure if i should make a livejournal for this? I feel like it would be potentially less likely to gain viewership than a tumblr. Hmm i can feel a lot of parts activating but i cant decipher what they think. And then theres W whos jjst like, are you seriously trying to so this again? After the shit show that was the last time? Why do you think you deleted your old blog in the first place?

I have parts. Everyone has parts. It's not a pathological thing to have parts. Im practicing IFS therapy with my therapist. I see him once every two weeks.

I want a space where i can truly be myself, authentically and raw and uncensored. Because i wasnt really able to develop a cohesive feeling of self as i was growing up.

"Leave this for therapy, dont put this online; youre attention seeking" - im not doing this for views im doing this because i want to fit in :( i want to do the things i never allowed myself to do in the past. I want a presence on social media, not so others can look at me but so i can participate in some way. Im supposed to be going against my patterns of avoidance and hiding in isolation.

I do not have DID! So full stop, i dont want to participate in the syscourse stuff. When i look up stuff about osdd and DID on this website, everything is so disconnected from my personal experience. I do have a plethora of other diagnosed mental health conditions though. Such as autism, thats one im very open about. Level 1. But i dont want this to be about labels. I finally reached a stage where im like, i dont care about the labels, my experience is what it is and no diagnostic label will change that. I used to think that i needed a diagnostic label in order to understand my experience, but i dont think that anymore.

I dont feel like i can talk to anyone in my personal life about my experiences, besides my therapist and i only see him once every other week :/

Man i wish i never deleted my old blog :/

My therapist sometimes will talk directly to my parts. Not sometimes, often, like every session tbh. Ive shared about one of my experiences in a discord group im in (its small and very much focused on DID as an extension of cptsd not as an alter disorder or the syscourse stuff. I found it when i was looking for a cptsd server focused on IFS. I said its focused on did as an extension.... but its more focused on just healing from trauma disorders, it advertises as a cptsd server it just has systems in it and system sections, but its not like a plural discord or anything. Its very healthy and focused on healing and being grounded from what i can tell)

Anywayssss i shared about one of my experiences where i was in a really emotional state (thinking why cant i just stop? I wish i could just stop! [Feeling this way]" and then it felt like the camera lens switched out and i felt my whole body relax and all my emotions from before were just gone and i was able to get on with my business like nothing had even happened. And one of the members (with DID) said that that sounds like how they experience some of their switches!! And i just responded that i know it all exists on a spectrum. I dont have time loss or anything. God okay now i can feel myself getting all in my head. I just wanted to practice being vulnerable and honest on here so i could get that road block out of the way. Im totally sober. (Sometimes i want to do this kind of thing when im stoned but i stop myself).

Ill be honest. When i went to get assessed for autism i also mentioned how my old therapist said i had "dissociative tendencies". So my psych, he didnt specialize in that area. He said he could give me a form to fill out and he'd put the results onto my final report, but it wouldnt be a diagnosis. Id have to see a specialist about whatever result there was. So he gave me the SCID-D to fill out. And my results were consistent with "PTSD, DID, and a possible somatoform disorder". This was three years ago. I cried after reading it because it was such a shock. I thought i might have DP/DR or maaaaybe OSDD but absolutely no way DID. It scared me so much that i didnt do anything about it.

Then, a few years later i think, i was in college. University actually, i managed to get into a really good one and i transferred over. Eventually i started to lose my mind. It was a lot. I might write about it in more detail later but it can be hard to think about sometimes. I was hearing voices. I was experiencing extreme motor and vocal tics. I wasnt safe to drive and i eventually did drop out (not before making the Deans List though 😎), but i was also broke and needed a job and just couldnt manage logistically. Plus there was a long period of time where i just did not feel safe to drive. I started seeing my current therapist during this "Episode". At the time i was conviced i had DID and i really had dove head first into the online system community stuff. I had zeroooo capacity for critical thinking at this time. In fact i had one experience that was completely real to me but ill never really be able to know if it actually happened or not. I was scrolling TikTok lives after midnight, and when i entered this one the host said "oh perfect and heres Little [my irl name, not my username]. He only comes out after midnight. You have to be careful because when youre in this state people are going to try to take advantage of you". Obviously scared the hell out of me and i ended up driving myself deeper into madness trying to rationalize how it couldve happened. But it was a lot of stuff like that. It was a really really difficult time for me.

Anyways. Started seeing my current therapist. Its been over a year now, actually over two years i think? Ive reconnected with a lot of my parts that i first connected with during that episode. Once the episode dissipated i thought that, all the parts id met were just imaginary and i was out of my mind misinterpreting things. But now ive been in therapy for a while and my parts have spoken with my therapist, hes validated their existance and talks with them. Even my tendency to shut down those feelings, theres a part that when im trying to connect with my parts will say "stop deluding yourself, this is pointless". I want to work more with this part because i can feel it holds so much misery and hopelessness :(. But anyways, my therapist has helped me to see that part that diminishes my experiences, tells me the parts arent real, that i never went through anything bad, is a defense mechanism to help me survive those rough experiences that i did go through.

Im a big fan of IFS because i can work with and accept my parts without pathologizing them. A huge fear i had when i got that final report back was that my family had abused me in ways that were so severe i cant remember them. It made me paranoid. But thats not baggage that i need to carry. Everyone has parts. My working with my parts, doing the hard work, is working. My parts developed to help me survive my unique experience. To navigate the labyrinth. I love my parts. Okay well not all my parts love my parts i guess lool.

**** id thought id edit this. I didnt read all of what i wrote because its a fuck ton. Anyways i usually do not care, its a spectrum (not from easier to severe >:( like autism is sorta) disorder and the treatment is the same. My experience is what it is and a label doesnt change that. Sometimes i just get obsessive about things but its not like. What i believe at my core :). I do have parts that are like pathological tho. Like they developed from overwhelming trauma and do their best to protect me!

[speak-now-girlies-unite]

(this is really long, if you want the tl;dr- lines from her song and from karnarks explanation make me think she hung from a tree for a bit. no one knew her cs she just moved to uranium a week b4 the accident and no one ever really had a chance to notice her.)

my much more in depth reasoning for jane hanging in the tree alive for a bit, plus how no one knew who she was:

cw: death, breif mentioned of shitty parents

how did she die?

in her song she sings “and from the ground beneath my feet i hear the anguish in the streets”. karnark says that the front axel (i tried googling what that is, i did not get very good results) broke and they fell from the top of the loop-de-loop, so the idea that shes falling feet first doesnt make much sense, and the idea that she gets stuck in the cart with her feet towards the ground doesnt make much sense either. i think she was definitely the last one to die, and ik that the head can hear for 7 seconds after being decapitated but i couldnt figure out a way for her head to be cut clean off, nothing really added up like that. plus, if it was just separated from her body and not destroyed, how did no one ever find it?

so i decided that the cart crashes into her head, squishing it into a million little pieces, killing her and allowing her to fall from the tree, unidentifiable and the last to die.

how did no one know her?

as we all know, uranium is a tiny town. in an early version of the opening song, they even say that theres only one main street. so if uranium is so small and everyone knew everyone, how did no one know jane?

i think that her and her family had just barely moved there, maybe for the same reason as oceans parents? maybe they just wanted to find a small rural town idk. jane joins the school and the choir a week before their performance/the accident, and father marcus lets her join because he thinks itll help her make friends. because she joined so late, her name isnt registered in the choir competition.

at the few choir practices that shes there for, she hangs around in the back with ricky. they noticed each other, but ricky couldnt talk and he never knew her name. in the afterlife, he knew what she looked like, but nothing about her (name personality likes dislikes etc) so he never mentioned that he knew her cause he didnt. the rest of the choir never noticed her.

(mischa- either skipping or on his phone. noel- arguing with ocean or missing cs of work. ocean- arguing with noel and being insane and stressed. constance- trying to keep noel and ocean from blowing up the place)

ok sure the choir but what about the rest of the school?

i think that jane couldve gotten mildly sick for a few days before the comp. if she had just moved to the school, and then disappeared for 2-3 days, and then died, she barely wouldve been noticed by anyone. no one knew her enough to notice her absence.

also, even if youre thinking the school keeping record of her tranferring, i think a lot of the town was very careless with records and in general keeping things safe. she couldve just not been ever mentioned anywhere.

her family???

this is the one thats actually stumped me. tbh i dont know and theres no real way to know, but if i had to come up with an explanation, i would say that she wasnt a planned kid, her parents were shitty, and they noticed she was gone but just never said anything bc they didnt care enough </3

ive also seen people bring up a little brother, but i dont know anything about legoland so im not going to go there, sorry.

so thats how i think everything went down! if you have any other questions, feel free to ask and ill try to answer the best i can. and remember, thats just a theory. a september 14th 6:19pm theoryy

how i think the choir died, in order + color coded<3 i doubt this is very accurate to how things happen irl but oh well

(the gray circles are trees)

[kalopses-sonderes]

Wanted pt. 2

‼️discontinued

&lt;previous part> <next part> …

You climbed down the tree, holding the tree for support once you get down.

“What did I do to get these people to hate me so much…” You said to yourself.

“Hm.. I hope nothing to serious.” Said a voice from the forest.

You gasped and started to panic again, vines started to wrap around you to protect you, putting sharp plants in front to stop whats scaring you.

“No need to be scared, Im Millennial tree, I look over the forest for danger. I’ve been sleep for so long only to waken by people looking for some wanted person, which im guessing is you?” Millennial tree said as he walked towards you slow enough to not seem threatening. People can be intimidated by his height, so he makes his movement not to sudden and sharp.

You nodded to his question. the vines and plants slowly retreating.

“Do you know why they’re after you?” Millennial Tree sat on a tree stump.

“no, i woke up on the ground not understanding anything about my surroundings! I was like teleported here!” You sat on a tree stump next to him.

…

You continue to talk to Millennial Tree, sharing each others stories.

“Well that is something.. Follow me..” Millennial tree seemed slightly upset, but you agreed and followed along.

Oh Pure Vanilla, starting things again. You were the reason baker was sent away and now that they’re back you want to put them through it again. I’ll keep baker safe, unlike you and your twisted, lovesick, disgusting plans for them. Millennial Tree thought.

…

“Here we are!” Millennial Tree said.

He lead you to his home deep within the thickest parts of the forest. His home was in the trees, grand stairs leading up to them.

You walked up the stairs mesmerized by the sturdiness and the neatness. You’ve built Tree houses with stairs before, but it was never this amazing! You get to the doors, Millennial Tree opens them for you. The house or should you say castle, is beautiful. Millennial Tree leads you to a seat next to his fireplace.

“Now, we shall talk about a plan to help with this, Situation.” He takes a seat a next you.

“So, theres a whole kingdom after me, and for what!?” You were stressing.

“Dont stress to much, I have everything taken care of.” Millennial Tree gets up and grabs something off a bookshelf.

“Huh?- How?”

“Dont worry about it, just worry about learning how to walk straight. I noticed you struggling.”

…

All the search partys met up back at the castle late at night.

“Anyone find anything?” Pure Vanilla Asked.

Everyone stayed silent and avoided eye contact with Pure Vanilla.

“hm.. We must find them soon, if the Dark Enchantress gets to them first our chances to keep peace are slim.. Remember what happened last time..” Pure Vanilla seemed upset.

Everyone nodded and left, they are not supposed to mention what happened before.

As everyone left, Pure Vanilla went off to his room. He walked to his huge bookshelf and pulled a certain book. The bookshelf opened, Pure Vanilla walked in.

…

You woke up in one of Millennial Trees guest room, the closest one to his personal room.

You heard talking in his room, you put your face against the wall and listen in.

.

“What will we do if Pure Vanilla finds out you have Baker?..”

.

You have many questions running through your mind because of that one question. Who’s voice was that because it wasnt millennial tree? who’s Pure Vanilla? Why are they calling me baker.

You decided to get out of the bed, you think you didn’t hear them right. Millennial Tree onows your not ’Baker’, right?

They must’ve heard you get out of bed because Millennial Tree opened your door with a tray of breakfast.

“Morning dear, how’d you sleep?”

I probably heard him wrong earlier, you thought.

“Um, I slept fine. How about you?”

…

You and Millennial Tree were outside, you resting in a hammock, him reading some book while sitting on the blanket laid across the floor where you both just had a picnic. The peace was interrupted by some green cookie.

“Sir, I must talk to you- Privately..”

“hm” Millennial Tree gets up to talk with him.

You think nothing of it, Millennial Tree told you about a few people that help him with the forest. So you think its something about a plant or animal.

Oh but you were wrong, so wrong.

Millennial Tree comes back, clearly stressed. He walks over to you and picks you up bridal style.

“H-Huh! Where are we going!?”

He didn’t answer you, just started to walk towards a dark area of the forest. You tried to get out of his grasp but just couldnt.

“Come on, I want an explanation. Thats the least you could do.”

He starts to slow down to a normal walk.

“You are being followed, chased, Wanted.” He goes to a stop. “My home is very hard to find.. But an old friend, hes after you.. He knows where my home is but I never showed him where this other place is.” He starts to walk again.

…

“Shouldn’t the posters help Baker find their way home?” Pure Vanilla said.

Him and Eclair were walking down the garden.

“They shouldve, but im not the one you created the posters- Oh! Speak of the devil, theres poster right there!” Eclair picked up the poster. “Oh great heavens..”

“Hm? Whats so wrong with it?-”

The poster was intimidating. ‘Wanted’ was in bold red and so was the bounty.

“Bounty!? Why would there be a bounty on Baker?! They are not a criminal!” Pure Vanilla hit his staff on the ground. “Now tell me, who made these?..” Pure Vanilla looked Eclair in the eyes.

“Im not sure sir, I heard they go by MTWA.”

“hm..” Pure Vanilla then walks off.

…

You and Millennial Tree make it to the place, He still wont tell you what it is. You’re still in his arms, even when he walked in the building.

“Um. You can put me down now.” You tried to squirm out of his arms but his grip on you got tighter.

He went up the stairs in to a luxurious room. He placed you on the bed and then walked to the closet and got you something to sleep in. He placed the clothes on the bed then walked out.

After you got finished changing, you walked to the door to ask Millennial Tree more about this place and his friend. When you pulled on the door it didn’t open, you pushed on the door and it didnt open. You were locked in. You started banging on the door.

“Millennial Tree! Hello! Are you there?!” You yelled.

You backed away from the door to catch your breath after yelling a bit more. You went to the window, it was also locked.

“Dear, are you alright?” Millennial Tree opened the door.

“Why would I? You locked me in a room in a place I dont know!” You got closer to Millennial Tree.

“I know the situation is.. discomforting, but trust me, your safety is my number one priority. I suggest you get some sleep.”

As quickly as you got mad a Millennial Tree, You were just as shocked and your heart dropped when you noticed someone behind him with something pointed at his head. The green cookie is in ropes and he is held by his arm.

to be continued..