#but i do think it would have had a deep impact regardless of how well they were able to cope. like i've said i dont see how it wouldnt.

[the-judicial-assistants-notebook]

sits up in bed. so lana and ema definitely thought they were responsible for edgeworth "choosing death", right?

(the rest of this post was supposed to go in the tags, because it's not very well organised or written, but it got too long so. here are the slightly edited tags for your reading pleasure (or otherwise)):

i was going to make this solely about ema because she's the obvious one with her open adoration of edgeworth, but the thing about rfta is that it goes to great lengths to emphasise the connection between lana and edgeworth as well.

the sl-9 incident showed that lana grows attached to people deeply, hence angel starr's comment on how, when neil marshall died, 'she (lana) felt like her own brother had died.' with edgeworth, i think it was similar but worse. because he's not just a coworker or subordinate who's dear to her. he saved her life. and it cost him his own.

at the beginning of the case, edgeworth says he was mistaken for thinking that lana was always looking out for him post sl-9 (a statement interesting on its own because that's when everyone else says she grew distant), and, later on, he brings ema fingerprinting powder because lana asked him to. then, of course, there's the 'lady luck' comment he makes.

similarly, on lana's side, you obviously have the end of the trial when she says he did well, but there's also that additional moment post-trial where she's the only one to notice — in a group comprising her, ema, phoenix and gumshoe — that he's 'hiding', listening to their conversation. point is, there's enough to suggest that she might have been the nearest thing edgeworth had to a mia; his 'chief prosecutor' to phoenix's plain 'chief'. they're as close as two people can be in a relationship where one of them is constantly lying and the other is von karma's star pupil.

rfta is pretty straightforwardly depicted as the case which solidified edgeworth's resolve to do what he did; i don't think i have to prove that. rumours about him have reached new heights, his car and knife were involved in goodman's murder, he makes an unprecedented mistake in court by failing to connect the evidence room and carpark incidents, thus forcing the chief of police to enter the trial to do so himself, and he's publicly revealed to have relied on falsified evidence to secure a conviction in the sl-9 case, all of which only happened because of lana. jake marshall even claims that from the beginning — that if you trace edgeworth's rumours back to their source, you end up meeting one person: lana skye.

and it gets worse because at the end of rfta, she thinks he's fine!! she literally says, 'i was afraid the pressure would break you, but you rose above it,' and reminds him he's nothing like gant because he's not alone. she leaves the case thinking he will be okay. and then, what, like a week passes, and she finds out that he wasn't, and that he's gone, and it's her fault. even after she was freed from gant's control, even after she had finally stopped lying, she couldn't prevent herself from claiming another life. so much for 'lady luck', i suppose.

and the game reiterates this multiple times. gumshoe states at the start that edgeworth's ties to those higher up in the department have made him the subject of constant rumours, and phoenix says (in front of ema) that he shouldn't be held responsible for the forged evidence because that was all lana's doing, which then leads to edgeworth commenting (again in front of ema) that he feels as though 'something inside him has died.' it all goes back to lana. we can argue and say that it was technically gant's doing that caused all of this, but lana still took actions that led to it. even her complicated friendship with edgeworth isn't spared; it's that closeness between them that exacerbated those rumours. how could she not feel responsible in some way?

and with ema, it's rather obvious, isn't it? if she hadn't gone poking her nose into things, none of this would have happened or come to light. and, of course, she'd never choose anyone over her sister, not for anything in the world — it's simply not a question, but that's the problem, isn't it? it's not a question. it's not some hypothetical moral dilemma. it just is. she may not have killed neil marshall, but she still has one king of prosecutor's blood on her hands. and now she has to live with that. she just. has. to live with it. no matter if he chose otherwise.

moving on from that a little, i think it's actually wild how much of ema's journey to becoming a forensics investigator is paved with bad memories. neil marshall's death and her subsequent inability to testify are what drives her to begin pursuing it, her first proper investigation results in her idol's "death" and when she finally graduates, the person who saved her sister has been disbarred, and she can't even help because she isn't allowed to. all that pain and constant pursuit of her goals, and she's still the same ema skye, still that girl shrouded in darkness, always one step behind the truth, one step a little too late. no wonder she was angry in aa:aj. i would be furious.

[theesteppenwolf]

Some thoughts on Inner Demons

So i have been thinking about this and i do actually like the idea that Lucanis can't have Rook exist in his mind prison because it fucks up his entire inner narrative of basically just self flagellation. "If rook exists then at some point i have to get out" so just delete rook from the scenario. I think that's really good.

However, i think it would've been better if a part of Lucanis actually was trying to get out, at least involuntarily, and that Rook was the personification of that idea, constantly trying to break himself out but ultimately failing. So ''Rook'' exists somewhere in there but is heavily suppressed. That's why Spite seeks real life Rook out. Not to mention that even if not romanced Rook is pretty much the closest person he has at that point, his only other true friend he's had beside Illario so it makes even more sense for them to be this comforting idea he just can't accept fully.

So you see glimpses of Rook, the sound of their voice, or maybe more notes about them, especially if you are romancing him it seems like a big waste of an opportunity to not utilize Rook for a bigger showing of his inner struggle and fear to try and live some kind of life.

The Neve thing is a bit weird when romancing him, i do understand this complaint and the way Spite phrases it does come off as romantic interest specific to her. I think Neve should absolutely stay as both her and Lucanis seem like good friends regardless of romance but it would've been been better (if the player is romancing Lucanis) for Neve to maybe use Lucanis' feelings for Rook against them here. Implying guilt about Rook, leading them on etc. rather than make it specifically about Neve.

There are plenty of little things like this that would make the quest a bit more impactful overall because this is a pretty short quest for something that is essentially meant to be a psychological deep dive into Lucanis. Just more notes and those reworked Neve lines would make it more way more immersive to the player.

In my opinion this should've been a way bigger and more important part of his personal quest, i think they should've really leaned into the whole ''fighting to get him out of his own head'' idea. Adding things like Lucanis' actual memories of Caterina as the abuser she was and moments of genuine brotherly love Lucanis has for Illario. It would've also made up for the fact that you don't learn anything very personal about him the entire game.

Listen, I have whole rewrites to how his personal quest should've gone, it's really my roman empire at this point. This quest is such a good way for Rook to get real vulnerability from him that wouldn't've shown up in real life due to his introverted and closed off nature.

Again my conclusion of Lucanis being a very scraped up character continues as i find my ideas to be pretty easy to come up with implementations for the kind of thing they are trying to pull of in this specific mission.

But oh well, so it goes. Kind of got rambly for a minute there, thank you kindly for reading :P

[dr-spectre]

honestly the only thing i wish now since team past won is that we don't get a great turf war game.

A more past based aesthetic sounds inherently cooler for a game no matter what people say.

I think i was being a little too harsh and mean towards Team Past and I was riding the high of the Grand Fest....

At the end of the day, what makes Splatoon's world so special is that it's world follows our time, a year passes in our world, a year passes over there. Stopping the timeline would be a bad idea and I think the developers know better. I have faith in them.

I dont think we're gonna get a great turf war game because Splatoon 4 was most likely already in pre-production before the Grand Fest, and they are just choosing what aesthetic to wrap the game in. They probably have a bunch of storylines planned out too and now they can get to work on the next game. That's just how game development works, especially Nintendo ones where gameplay is first and story is second.

The results of the final Splatfest of each game do make an impact but not THAT big of an impact. Callie vs. Marie decided who was gonna play the villain role in the next hero mode as they already placed down the set up for that story line in the songs Tide Goes Out and Bomb Rush Blush, as well as the Splatfest dialogue creating tension between the two.

Marie won so the developers gave Callie some angst, and she strolled down to Octo Canyon, said to good ol' Octavio "Hey I wanna be evil and stuff." And Octavio was like, "aight sick yo. But you gotta wear these hypnotic shades first tho." And Callie was like "COOL! :D"

Chaos vs. Order impacted what the next game was gonna look like aesthetic wise, and even then it's not as extreme as a lot of people envisioned. Splatsville is Inkopolis but basically... a little bit more chaotic and clearly not as wealthy of a city as Inkopolis. Deep Cut's aesthetics and personality were based on the theme of chaos, we would have probably gotten a three person Idol group regardless but what team won in Splatoon 2 impacted what they were gonna look like. The rest of Splatoon 3 is just regular ol' Splatoon. It's not a crazy Mad Max chaotic land like what some were expecting and that Inkopolis was gonna be up in smoke.

And, of course, the losing team was yet again the central theme of the villain, this time, the idea of Order itself and even then its different from how Callie vs. Marie played out. Marina becomes Marina Agitando at the start of the story to get it out of the way and to subvert expectations. And then the real villain, Overlorder takes centre stage.

I dont think we're gonna see the whole "losing team becomes evil" thing because its a tired old trope and it created so much just.... bullshit in the community, I'm gonna be so real. Like you know this already and my stances on Hypno Callie and what people say about her but... I digress!!

I wanna end off my rambles by saying that the best part of Team Past winning, is that Callie and Marie got to win TOGETHER! It feels like the perfect cap to their arcs and it feels... good.... you know? It just, makes me happy that these two girls are just finally happy and are on each other's wavelengths so well. They even show that in Blushing Tide but ive already gushed about that song.

I feel like thematically Team Past/Squid Sisters winning feels.... perfect? It feels... right? I guess? Starting off in darkness and hate, fighting each other, coming together after being reminded of the good times they've had, healing their broken bond, finally winning... as a team...

I think im taking the loss pretty well LMAO! I mean I was on the winning team of Chaos vs. Order so I'm perfectly fine with coming in second place.

[aurekiwi]

Hello kiwi ! Can you do fs reading on jk ?

Thnk you 😇🙏

𝐣𝐞𝐨𝐧 𝐣𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐤𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐟𝐮𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞

welcome to another reading by your favorite intuitive reader, kiwi! i was quite hesitant about this reading because of how tense bts tarot feels, but i realized that i'll have requests about jungkook and bts regardless in the future and thought i might as well try it out.

𝐛𝐲 𝐚𝐮𝐫𝐞𝐤𝐢𝐰𝐢 | masterpost | support kiwi

before you read: please remember that i'm only one tarot reader. this reading was done with the best of my abilities and intentions, and i most definitely do not want to cause problems for jungkook, the future spouse, or any of you.

to start off, i asked my tarot deck Yume for a figure card that represents jungkook's future spouse. i received Balance, and the back of the deck was Harpy Eagle.

Balance: Balance sits outside of this duality. They follow their vibration, their own story. They can often be positive, revealing the good that sits inside us all. They can also be gloomy as they give in to the dark emotions that lie feral, waiting to attack. Balance sits somewhere in between. They know what it is like to carry both sides. Balance blends the best and the worst presenting us all a new opportunity to experience the whole of creation.

jungkook's future spouse is an open-minded individual who is emotionally intelligent, striving for balance within their every day life. they are aware of the fact that life has both its positives and negatives, and they must learn to adapt to them and find the greatness within each new experience. jungkook's future spouse is one who does not let their troubles stop them from moving forward towards what they truly love. others may perceive that they are ever-changing and mysterious- they have learned to maintain a neutral perspective and stance no matter the situation. i am sensing that jungkook's future spouse may be spiritual or religious due to the card's imagery of a woman whose hands are in the shape of yin and yang, with the universe making up her body. they are very wise and caring, feeling driven to help provide their sense of balance to others, whatever form that may be.

Harpy Eagle: The Harpy Eagle comes to you via visions in your sleep time and your waking days. When it appears, heed the message and take a good look at what is out of balance in your life. Take stock of your life. Are you where you want to be emotionally, physically, and financially? Now is the time to envision where you want to be and who you want in your life.

jungkook's future spouse seems to put a lot of focus on the idea of "balance," as it is mentioned by this card as well. they are very reflective of their circumstances in their day-to-day life and strive to improve by thinking about what they insight they may be lacking. this card also seems to clarify that jungkook's future spouse is a spiritual or religious person who has spiritual dreams that guide them in times of need. jungkook's future spouse desires to take control over their life, giving me a feeling that they may struggle with issues of control, power dynamics, addiction(s), and unhealthy habits. they may be a logical person and very hard on themselves, often moving through a hard situation without complaints by focusing on this idea of "balance" and "self-improvement." they are a future-oriented thinker, and they are excited to see how their current actions towards change will impact their future. in terms of their views on love, my understanding is that the future spouse wants deep and committed love but is currently unavailable to it due to past hurts and their dreams and career aspirations.

next, i asked my tarot deck Snow White for some cards that would help us learn about jungkook's future spouse. i received: temperance, two of pentacles, the tower, three of wands, and the star.

jungkook's future spouse is a very balanced and fair individual. as mentioned above, they may have had unhealthy habits and tendencies in the past, or they may have been exposed to an unhealthy power dynamic that has resulted in them focusing heavily on their idea of "balance." they try to stray away from substance abuse and other unhealthy habits/decisions by pursuing the temperance energy. in general, they are a very busy person. i see them being very quick with their decisions. the ace of swords card to me within this context, makes me think that jungkook's future spouse is often someone who gets into their head and likes to think and reflect about a lot of different things. once they make a decision, i see them being very fast about chasing after their goals and making their decision become their reality as quick as possible. that makes them pretty pre-occupied, however, they work very hard to make sure to spend time with their friends and loved ones. they may keep a small circle of close friends and have them as their support system, and they are the type of person who would be truly happy for your accomplishments and successes rather than being jealous. they have a lot of love for those that matter a lot to them and make sure to show that those they love, are loved.

the tower tells me that they have had quite a turbulent life which explains the unhealthy dynamics and habits that i sensed in a previous portion of the reading. i asked for some clarification, and i received the three of swords and the empress, which makes me think that their love and support has oftentimes been taken for granted and unappreciated. they may have found that they are usually the nurturing, caring, and understanding mother figure in many people's lives. with friends, that would mean the "mom friend" or "the therapist friend" who is always there to listen to your worries. i'm also sensing that within a family setting, it would be the person who is holding the family together, the bandange, or the mediator who has to step in whenever there is conflict. their life has been full of being broken down to the ground and constant rebuilding, each time an improved version of themself. this is actually quite admirable of them, and this signifies to me that regardless of their actual age, they are a very wise and mature person. plus, jungkook's future spouse seems to embody the empress energy, so they may attract a lot of people in general or people may really like them for those qualities as well.

the three of wands signifies a visionary, also higher studies/education and traveling. they may travel to different countries/land either to pursue higher studies or they may just like traveling or have family members scattered in different parts of the world. i'm also sensing that they may come from a diverse background, as in they may be living in a country that is not their culture's or their home country, motherland, or mother tongue. intuitively, they seem surrounded by wand or fire energy, so a city/state/province/country that has quite strong masculine/patriarchal energy. it can also mean that the place they are from is generally dry/warm/hot. they are obviously a very intelligent individual, so higher education also seems quite possible. this means that they are not "too" young as some may wish- they are probably at a minimum in college, or are in professional/graduate school or working. they are a very respectable person, and after interacting with their energy, it makes me understand why so many people are already so interested in them.

lastly, the back of the deck was the star. the star card comes after the tower in the major arcana- it represents a sense of hope, enlightenment, and happiness after a storm has passed. jungkook's future spouse seems to have a positive mindset about their struggles. people around them may perceive as someone who learns to see the good in any situation and appreciate the good of their current circumstances, even if it may be horrible for them. they are humble and are very patient. they choose to believe that the chaos and disaster breed blessings and good fortune (wheel of fortune) within their life. they always learn to be grateful and resilient. they shine bright like a star as well, and i suddenly see jungkook's eye and how they turn wide at the sight of his future spouse. they seem to have this glow around them... a beautiful, mysterious, alluring aura that makes them so attractive in his eyes. the imagery of the star card also makes me think that they have a very feminine energy, and they are an empath and a healer. there is lots of water which i interpret as intuition, emotions, and creativity, which are qualities that they may have that sets them aside from others. their career or area of study may be related to the star card's qualities.

[maoam]

What do you think of itafushi and satosugu?

Ah I think I was asked about this before but back then my opinion was very non-opinion. Because I hadn't gotten that deep into the series yet. I also answered an ask about satosugu earlier.

I will say that they complement each other very well. They understand each other better than other characters, like I don't believe that something like Gojo not realising how bad Geto's state was until it was too late would happen with Yuuji and Megumi because they seem to figure each other out pretty well. Gege also did draw parallels between Geto-Gojo and Yuuji-Megumi duos. But that's not something I'm gonna focus on here.

(Manga spoilers up to chapter 266 ahead!)

Yuuji and Megumi's relationship is deeply intervowen into the text of the manga itself. The fact Megumi chose to save Yuuji despite the fact it put more people at risk is what sort of started everything. And the actions of the two impact each others development.

Todo was asking Megumi about his type, and when he is not hearing an answer he adds that it's fine if he prefers men. Why is this needed here? Gege is not making a joke, like a homophobic joke some average dudebro author would make because a male character is taking his time to answer, where said male character then gets offended and the audience laughs. Todo is very chill, it's a non-issue for him. Megumi is also not shown to be offended or even phased at the implication. Well there is no joke, so why did this need to be added? To imply. To hint. To put the idea in the reader's head. And then Megumi answers and uses 'person' instead of a girl/woman. Also the fact many male characters seem to point out Megumi's cuteness/attractiveness makes it even more obvious that Gege seems to like the idea of Megumi being 'available' to both men and women. Obviously women think he's cute as well but that's sort of given.

Megumi's type is someone who has an 'unshakeable character' according to a translator I asked about it. I once read another person say it's 'unwavering humanity'. This translator said this goes with Yuuji's name. Regardless, Yuji's name has 'unwavering/unshakeable benevolence/compassion/humanity' so whether the word refers to unshakeable humanity or character, both fit Yuji and the type clearly is a nod to his name. Which many translators have pointed out.

However when asked about his type, Megumi thought of Tsumiki.

Before that, when Yuuji "died" Megumi was imagining Tsumiki on a field surrounded by countless sunflowers. Now we know Gege is aware of hanakotoba, since he mentioned the meanings of both white lilies and black lilies in the manga, and he drew them around Tsumiki, to reference her innocence/purity (white lily) and the fact she was cursed (black lily). Sunflowers apparently symbolise passionate love, and the more sunflowers, the more intense the love is. 11 sunflowers is true love, 108 sunflowers is marry me etc. So there is that implication that Megumi's feelings for Tsumiki might be not completely familiar... Megumi is someone with abandonment issues, because his mom died and his dad left. So he has low self esteem and doesn't value his life. But he had Tsumiki. And he developed that intense need to protect her and care for her. In Jujutsu Sousen which is the prototype for jjk, Yuuji also mistook Tsumiki for Megumi's girlfriend, and Megumi's reply was that "well, she is someone important to me". Megumi did everything for her happiness' sake, which is why he lost all hope and will when she died.

Gege also drew Yorozu and Sukuna in their bodies, with Yorozu acting the way she did towards Sukuna and talking about 'love' as a sort of dark humour.

Yet, I do see that Megumi has a soft spot for Yuuji.

Megumi tries to come up with ways for Yuuji to live, while Yuuji tries to come up with ways to die. I noticed Megumi is a bit tsundere because he's not that smooth about comforting another person, so he comes off a bit mad like here, calling Yuuji selfish for caring about him, haha. Which is kind of call back for Megumi saying his decision to save Yuuji was a selfish decision?

Back to Tsumiki.

It feels like in the absence of Tsumiki, Megumi started to look for Yuuji as someone to idealize, as someone who to learn from. That mission where he took the criminal's badge to give to his mom, that action is something he wouldn't have done without Yuuji's influence. And in this moment above he's thinking about both of their genuine, sweet smiles, placing them next to each other in his mind. Yuuji has in a short time become someone important to him. But it's very telling how his type of people in his mind are Tsumiki and Yuuji. It's not even subtle from Gege.

And as I said it seems like Megumi has a bit of a soft spot for Yuuji.

Which is why Yuuji has this effect on Megumi. I never see Megumi melt like this as a response to other people. It's like Yuuji gets through his defenses.

Here's the tsundere again. Megumi shows his care with certain level of aggression because like I said, he's not the smoothest person around.

Even when he's about to die, he thinks about Yuuji. I do think it makes sense that someone like Yuuji has become so important to him in such a short time. Because he's Megumi's type of person.

And I also noticed that whenever Megumi smiles in the manga, it's either due to him making progress as a sorcerer or it's because of something related to Yuuji.

It's the framing here how Gege does the little smile that I find interesting.

Of course there's also this moment where we see a very genuine Megumi smiling. This moment is very important because it was even used in the recent MV with Yuuji, Megumi and Sukuna. I think Megumi's connection to both is very important to the conclusion of the story.

Notice how I talked mostly about Megumi? Because the differences in his behaviour are easier to notice, compared to Yuuji's "I get along with everyone" personality. Obviously, Yuuji does like Megumi a lot, as we see in the previous images he easily gives him compliments like calling him reliable and smart (or even cute when teasing him with Hana lol) and he is also very protective of Megumi.

What's funny is that the last moment immediately reminded me of Naruto and Sasuke's dynamic in the land of waves. It's identical (please don't kill me narusasus who dislike itafushi and itafushis who dislike narusasu). I also think he really does admire Megumi and immediately notices him first out of all the other people (like with Ozawa and Nobara). And just like Yuuji influences Megumi, Megumi influences Yuuji, and makes him think outside of his own mindset "what if someone you saved killed someone else in the future?". They both also acknowledge each others differences and respect them.

I don't think his answer to Todo (I mean he seemed unsure in his answer too) or his comment about Jennifer Lawrence are necessarily dealbreakers considering this is Gege lol. Gege seems to make Yuuji indecisive, like how he couldn't answer the question whether he prefers dogs or cats because he's unsure, or how he says "I guess" when referring to his type of girl. He says 'tall girl' but when actually tall girls that fit his supposed type show up like Ozawa and Yuki, he doesn't show that kind of interest in them. I'm not saying he can't like girls by the way, I'm just saying Gege hasn't shown Yuuji show genuine interest in women unlike for example Horikoshi has with Deku. With Yuji it's a one-note joke, with Deku we actually see him show attraction.

But the reason why I point these things out is because Gege is very particular about Megumi's character, to the point his editor commented on it, so I don't think he would draw things for no reason. If Yuuji is the only person that makes the usually stoic Megumi smile and if he manages to melt down Megumi's worried/distressed side then that is something important, since Gege feels the need to repeat these situations. Author intent is always important. However I know some people probably aren't fans of this but Gege is clearly very fixated on the connection between Megumi and Sukuna as well. Possibly even more so. They have a lot of connections that would need their own post. I talked a bit about Megumi and Sukuna here but it's not even close to being everything you could write about Gege's writing concerning them. Also, Yuuji and Sukuna can't stand each other and are currently pretty much fighting over Megumi (lol). I don't think Megumi will stay passive though, as we see in this recent chapter, he is fighting back. But it's something to think about.

And in this recent chapter, Megumi is once again placing Yuuji and Tsumiki next to each other, imagining a calm, relaxed life with them. I already imagined that one of the character image songs Gege chose for Megumi , Weezer's 'Island in the Sun' was just about having fun with Yuuji and I was right!

Yuuji dares to finally admit he needs Megumi too. And Megumi's comment 'Someone like you'... Megumi really does place Yuuji high, and I think people are starting to see it. Yuuji makes him happier and more relaxed. And the fact he lost all will to live, yet regained it because Yuuji would be lonely without him, speaks volumes as well. And to Yuuji Megumi is also a special person. I don't know if there will be a happy ending for them, but they definitely changed each others lives.

[genderkoolaid]

https://www.tumblr.com/fite-club/732282106727858176/the-thing-thats-going-over-so-many-younger-trans

(link: post where op says discrimination against transmascs does exist, but is not targeted specifically against transmascs and goes on to give a bunch of examples)

too tired to go on about how wrong op is so im passing it over to you

wow another user i already had blocked [Obligatory Do Not Harass This Person Notice]

Yes, T is a controlled substance because of bullshit athletics laws. There being another reason that law exists does not mean it cannot and is not used to actively target trans people, ESPECIALLY trans people of color. This article goes over the numerous ways that T being a controlled substance opens the doors for a variety of abuses, & this one goes more in depth into, Stann Fransisco, a transmasc Two Spirit, who was arrested, sexually assaulted, and jailed after police found hez T and needles and hey had to out hemself as trans. It was not made a controlled substance because of transmascs, but they certainly use it to target transmascs & others and there's no reason that a transphobic government would be interesting in letting go on this control.

With trans people and pregnancy, its a similar situation- ATM might not be the reason people on T are taken off it during pregnancy, but it can absolutely be used by people (such as abusive partners) to detransition people. (Also, intersexism plays a huge role in this as well, since a lot of times the major "danger" of people being pregnant on T is the possibility of an intersex child). And the same thing for being left out of vaginal and uterine health care- even if the system wasn't directly set up to target trans people, it is used that way and kept that way regardless.

And as for being kept out of conversations? That can 100% be targeted. There are absolutely openly transphobic people who make the decision to use trans-exclusive language around pregnancy and abortion. And are you fucking kidding me with the idea that trans surgeries aren't less studied because organizations don't want to give money to support their research?

Frankly I'm tired of the idea that in Twenty Fucking Twenty Three, all transphobia transmascs experience is just the result of nobody knowing what a trans man is. Its been fucking decades since FTMs starting getting awareness, and there's a current moral panic that has transmascs as a central figure. Are you fucking kidding me? Do y'all really think nobody is out here targeting us specifically? And, on top of that, the idea that being erased means you can't be targeted is ignorant. Intersex people, from what I have read, experience something similar a lot: people not knowing what you are, you not being given the tools to know what you are, and yet you experience targeted violence for the traits of the thing nobody mentions. Hell, that's like... a ton of queerphobia? Being targeted for having the traits of an unmentionable condition? People not knowing what "gay" or "trans" is but smelling something socially unacceptable on you?

Ironically this whole thing is, imo, another example of the impact of erasure. Because erasure is fundamentally about not just the violence of being silenced, but silencing violence. Erasure puts into place the idea that transmasc invisibility is part of reality; transmasculinity is literally invisible to people. What that means is, erasure promotes the idea that transmasculinity is literally inconceivable: its just something people created one day, or its some deep hidden extremely rare thing that sometimes happens, but either way, there is no precedent for it and no preconceived ideas related to it. Of course there is no anti-transmasc violence, because when cis people see a woman trying to be a man, they have literally no preconceived ideas on this at all! Or, if that doesn't work, erasure will attribute any potential violence to misogyny and lesbophobia, squashing the idea that anything could happen as a result of "women becoming men" and the hatred around that idea.

In 2023, yeah, people do know we exist and, in fact, fearmonger about there being too many of us. Its vital that we are aware of this and realize that new forms of anti-transmasculinity will continue to take shape as we get more awareness. For example: in the past, people weren't aware of chest binding, but now you have transphobes who know to look for binders under people's shirts so they can attack transmascs.

But even without that, even before that, people don't need to know the name of something to hate it. A lot of anti-butch violence is done specifically to punish, in the minds of the attackers, a woman trying to be/act like a man/replace men; that's anti-transmasculinity*. Mothers insisting their tomboy children need to grow up and act like women? That's anti-transmasculinity. People only talk about historical transmascs who more or less lived well, but there are people who were outed and put in prisons and mental asylums and abused, and that's just the records we can find. There are articles written about the horror of a woman realizing her husband "is a woman." Steve Dain transitioned in the 1970s and was called "thing" "it", immediately seen as a sexual predator towards little girls, and had the school system do everything possible to fire him- and it worked. Those people likely had never heard of a trans man before- but they immediately reacted with disgust and targeted attacks. They didn't need to know what he was to hate him for it, because the cultural ideas that create and manage transphobia as a system are still there.

Also bonus aphobia from the tags:

*and, for the record, "anti-transmasculinity" can be co-existent with misogyny and lesbophobia. they are all interconnected.

[friautyalltheway]

To please a woman

✶﹒Jim Hopper x Reader

⊂📔🍒⊃

Content Warnings: Hard Dom! Hop, Bratty Sub! Reader, Corruption Kink, Fingering, Degradation, Oral (fem receiving), BDSM, kinda? (Use of Handcuffs), Sir kink, Praise, Begging, Hair Pulling, No Condom (always keep it safe kids!!), this is literally just porn atp, manhandling, Overstimulation

2,7k words

18+ below the cut

How long had it bee since Jim Hopper last had a good fuck? An one-night stand? A woman in his life? Too long. It´s been definitely too long. Even though he knew he shouldn’t be thinking about sex while at work, he did so regardless. His filthy thoughts started taking advantage of him a few days ago, naughty imaginations clouding his mind, making it impossible for him to focus on anything else. Shit, how old was he? 18? Shouldn’t people his age be out and about, thriving with their wives, their families? Whatever. It could not be that hard, finding a willing woman somewhere in Hawkins.

With that thought in mind, he hurriedly closed the doors of the Police Station after his shift was finally over for the day, and made his way straight into his favourite pub. Lucky for him, you have had the exact same thought as him today, on the lookout for a man who could pleasure you the right way. But you definitely didn’t expect that man to be the Chief of Police.

Hopper opened the door that lead onto the pub, looking around as he made his way towards the counter. That was until he spotted you sitting at one of the tables, all by yourself. He took that as a chance to sit down at the same table, taking of his hat, grumpily greeting you.

Soon, you were lost in a conversation, talking about this and that. You never took him as a funny, nice guy - but that was exactly who he was. All to your surprise. But what surprised you even more, was him admitting after a few beers, that he went to the pub for the exact same reason as you. To have sex.

Jim was a very attractive man, way older than you were. But you did not have a problem with the age gap - age gaps were good. Boys your age just didn’t know what they were doing yet.

So it was not surprising to find yourself buckling up your seatbelt in Hopper´s police car a few minutes after paying.

The car ride was painfully long, the tension in the air so thick the both of you could barely breathe.

After what seemed like hours, you finally arrived at his Cabin. He turned of the car´s engine, and looked over to you.

“I swear to god, that was the last thing i had expected to happen today. Jesus.”

He shook his head, a small grin tugging at his lips. You giggled softly. “Me neither.”, you admitted. Hoppers right hand found your thigh, giving it a light squeeze, nodding twice while doing so. He opened the door, and got out of his seat. You took one last, deep breath, and left the car as well. As you walked around the car, Hopper suddenly pushed you against the car´s hood, his lips greedily pressing against yours. You moaned quietly at the sudden impact, but he let go of you a few seconds into the kiss.

“Sorry. Can’t contain myself. Lets go inside and get this started, hm, sweetheart?”

As soon as you stepped inside, he pushed you against the wall, pinning your hands over you head, continuing to kiss you hungrily. His lips left yours and made their way over to your ear, softly nibbling on it. “I want to destroy you so bad, you have no idea.”, he whispered, a slight rasp to his voice. You let out a quiet whimper at this comment - him asserting his dominance over you was the most arousing thing you had ever experienced. Just thinking about your age (and size) gap made you press your thighs together in anticipation for what was about to come. “Need you to do that”

There was no way in hell you would be able to think straight, so you just gave up on forming full sentences by now.

His right hand still pinned your hands down, as his other one slowly traveled down the side of your body, coming to rest on your breast. He started groping it, playing with your nipples. At this point you were a mess in his hands, completely submitted to him. “I barely started, and you already stopped thinking straight. Pathetic.”

His teasing went right down between your legs, the wetness intensifying. “Stop- stop the teasing. Need more. Please. Need so- so much more.” A low chuckle fell from his lips at your comment. But he didn’t change his pace, he didn´t roam farther south where you needed him most. Instead, the hand that cupped your breast went upwards again, grabbing the back of your head, pulling you towards his lips again to reward you with yet another greedy, passionate kiss, which you loudly moaned into. “So, so greedy… Just have some patience, will you now?”

You nodded. Suddenly, he grabbed you by the hair and yanked your head back. “I want you to answer me properly when I ask you a question!”, he angrily said through gritted teeth. What would scare most people living in Hawkins, only turned you on even more.

“Y-yes.”

“Yes, what?” “Yes, sir.” “Better.” He went from the back of your head to give your ass a hard spank and then gripping it roughly. You tried moving your hands to touch him, but couldn’t escape his tight grip. “You´ll move when I say so. Got that?” “Yes.” The grip on your wrists intensified. “Yes sir!” A small chuckle left Hoppers mouth. “I think it´s time to move this to the bedroom, hm?”

As soon as you entered the bedroom, he pushed you on the bed, his lips finding yours again. Holding back was impossible now, and you pressed your core up to his already hard crotch, your fingers tangling in his hair, at which he lowly groaned. “Fuck, look what you do to me. Lift your hips for me, sweetheart.”

He opened your belt, eagerly pulling down your pants and then dragging his finger along your clothed slit, which was soaked by now.

“Shit, you´re so damn wet. Can´t wait to see what your insides feel like. What you taste like.”

Your panties and bra didn’t stay on long, after he had yanked them off your body - him still fully clothed. His kissed slowly started traveling down your body, making halt where you needed him most. Your hips jerked upwards in excitement, but he didn´t give you what you wanted just yet.

“Now, what do good girls do when they want something real bad? When the officer catches up on them, and they don´t want to be punished, hm? They beg him for mercy. Oh, they beg so nice and good to please him, so he will let them go. I won’t let you go, no way in hell, but I still want you to beg for me. Beg, as if your life depends on it, can you do that for me?”

Where did that man learn how to talk this dirty from?! It was undeniably hot, so of course, you gave him what he wanted. Right now, you would probably do anything just to have him finally pleasure you the right way. So there was no holding back.

“Please. Please use me, do anything you want to me, I need you, I need you inside me, on top of me, whatever, please, please, please, sir, make me fall apart, make me your whore, i don’t care anymore. I will do anything for pleasure, please!”

You desperation made Hopper release a low groan, but still, he didn’t give you what you needed. What more did you have to do? “Go on. Come on, continue…”

Asshole.

“Mhh, please, please, just do it. I gave you so much already, please, i think I might die if you wont touch me. Shit, shit, destroy me, please, please just - ah!”

His tongue found your clit in the middle of your sentence, suckling on it, softly biting down on it. You arched your back, hips pressing up against his head. Finally he added a finger, curling it so it perfectly hit your G-Spot. Just how on earth could he be this good at all that?!

Soon, he added another finger. And then, a third one. “Mh- close…”

“Not yet, sweetheart. I need you to fulfil the promise you made earlier, can you remember? You told me I should make you my whore- good whores cum when their Sir tells them to.”

“Yes, yes sir. Understood…”

Hopper couldn’t believe that you really were this obedient. Of course, he had to be dominant in his job as well - but it was way more arousing to be dominant in bed. His erection pressed tightly against his pants, needing attention. Shit, he swore he could cum alone from fucking you with his tongue.

After what felt like hours, he finally pulled out his fingers, and removed his mouth from your aching core. He moved towards you, grabbing your hand and placing it over the tent that had formed in his pants.

“Can you feel that? This is what you do to me, girl. My little whore, hm?”

You were practically drooling at this point - which didn’t go unnoticed by Hopper. But he himself couldn’t stand this torture anymore. He finally needed to fuck you so good you wouldn’t be able to walk for the next week. He finally wanted to see you completely break underneath him, wanted to fuck you dumb.

So he started to unbuckle his belt. He did not bother undressing, only pulled his pants and his underwear down a little bit to reveal his dick.

Him fully clothed, on top of your naked body, his erection pressed against your wet folds - the thought alone nearly made you cum. His teeth nibbled at your earlobe again, and with a raspy whisper he said:

“I need it just as bad as you do right now. But I need you to beg for it again. I need to know what my little, good slut needs.”

Again. He wanted you to plead again. You slowly started to get a little embarrassed, your face heating up, your cheeks turning red. You tried to turn your head away to undergo having to beg Hopper to fuck you. You did enough begging by now, anyways.

What you didn’t expect though, was Hopper suddenly getting up and leaving the room. You sat up, confused. What was he doing, in the middle of all this?

Your question quickly got answered as he came back - handcuffs in hand. “Lay down. Hands behind your back.”

You looked at him with widened eyes, not prepared for this kind of power play. Only to see what would happen, you started acting up, refusing to follow his instructions. “What if I don’t, sir?”

He let out a low chuckle. “Then Ill make you.”

“Hmm, I don’t know about that. I bet I could just Get up and leave!”

That was wha sent him over the edge. Leave? You? No. No one could leave once he had them in his hands. He was the chief of Police after all!

In a matter of seconds, he had your body pressed up against the mattress, your wrists in a firm grip as he adjusted the handcuffs. Moving was barely impossible in that position, face pressed into the soft pillow, muffling your whimpers.

“Arch that back.”, Hopper demanded. This time, you did not stand up against his orders. Your ass was now pressing against his dick, already dripping with precum. “And i swear to go, if you ever, ever even think about disobeying me again, I’m going to absolutely destroy you until your knees give out. Until you’re bruised black and blue, does that sound good to you, hm?”

He grabbed your hair again, and pulled your head up, turning it towards him. His other hand squished your cheeks together, making it harder for you to answer.

“M-mh yesh, shir”

God, you felt so stupid. You sounded so stupid. But that apparently was amusing to him, because a dirty grin settled on his face.

“Thats how I like my good whore. Obedient and submissive.”

Without warning, he thrust his dick into your core, making you scream in both pleasure and pain. He set a slow, but hard pace, the room being filled by the sound of skin against skin, your moans and his soft groans.

Hopper put one had on the chain that held the handcuffs together, pulling on it. His other hand made its way towards your mouth, where to of his fingers slipped between your lips.

“Suck on them, will you?”

So you did. You were so close to orgasming, and having both your pussy and your mouth stuffed, and being completely submitted and helpless did not help you at all. Wait until I allow you to cum, he said. As if it was that easy!

“Mhh, good whore. Good girl. Doing such a good job, taking my cock so well.”

His pace sped up, and you assumed he was close as well. Hopefully he would allow you to cum as soon as possible. But that was not the case. You tried telling him that you couldn’t hold it any longer, but his fingers fucking your mouth made that almost impossible. Each thrust threatened to throw you over the edge, as you tried your best to hold yourself back from reaching your height. But fuck, that did not work. With one last, loud moan, your walls clenched around his cock, eyes rolling back in your head as you experienced one of the most amazing orgasm you’ve ever had.

Hoppers thrusts stopped. He took the fingers out of your mouth, moving his hand up to your head, and yanking it back by your hair.

“Shit, what did I tell you about cumming without my permission?!”

He was furious.

He turned you on your back, eyes staring right into yours. “Dumb whore.”, he said, and squished your cheeks again. “Open up your mouth - don’t make me ask twice.”

As you did so, he spat right into it. “Swallow.” You made sure not to disobey him again, seeing what it had led to.

Hopper spread apart your legs, and started fucking you again. Your pussy felt sore from all the foreplay and the hard orgasm you had just experienced - but he did not care. He put his full body weight on you, nearly crushing you. Your legs were resting upon his shoulders, his fingers caressing your clit.

“´M gonna cum soon. And you will, too. I don’t care if you’re overstimulated or not, this is an order. And you know what happens when you disobey the chief of Police, right, sweetheart?”

You nodded, tears welling in your eyes. You didn’t even need to try hard to cum, as you were already on the verge of yet another orgasm.

“Cum, sweet whore. My sweet girl, you’ve been taking it so well. Cum around my cock, I know you can do it.”

His words of encouragement were enough to send you over the edge for the second time today. Seeing you, all vulnerable, completely fucked out and into submission also sent Hopper over the edge. He leaned down to give you a sloppy kiss, hands tangling in your hair, while both of you rode out your high.

“Shit,” Hopper said as he pulled out and laid down beside you. “You did fucking amazing.” His words made you smile, but you were way too tired to respond to that. “Yeah, get some rest. You deserve it.”

You heard him change in the bathroom, coming back to lie down besides you, tucking the both of you under his blanket.

You would have never expected it, but Jim Hopper, the Chief of Police of Hawkins was very cuddly after Sex - which you found extremely adorable. He softly stroked your cheeks while you drifted away to sleep, and you loved every second of it.

He surely knows how to please a woman.

[risingscorchingsuns]

Do you think it had to be rengoku who died? Or could it have been a different character or hashira and still give the same effect?

AA THIS IS SUCH A GOOD QUESTION!! Okay im likely gonna go back and edit this later once i think of Better Words, but prepare for a Long Ass Leon Analysis Post

I think that while a similar effect could have happened had it been another Hashira, the fact that it was Rengoku affected not just Tanjiro, but the rest of the Corps in a massive ripple effect. I’m assuming that by asking this you’ve read my “why Rengoku’s death impacts the outcome of the series” analysis post, but regardless, im gonna start rambling now lol

Let’s turn it into a cause-and-effect formula. If [Hashira] dies after the Mugen Train Incident, it affects Tanjiro with [x] and the rest of the Corps with [y]. When Rengoku died, it devastated Tanjiro because of both his personal connection to Rengoku (Flame Breathing vs Sun Breathing, as well as Rengoku’s infectious brotherly attitude) and his respect for the Hashira as a whole. X is Tanjiro’s devastation and his exposure to the Actual Strongest Demons. Y, on the other hand, is much more powerful, because of Rengoku specifically. He was like an older brother to Mitsuri. He was an icon of strength and persistence for Tengen. He was a beacon of encouragement for everyone he encountered, and Rengoku was uniquely inspiring in that way. Rengoku, specifically. The latest link in the Flame Hashira chain, the Rengoku family legacy, he was really more legend than man. He was an unfalteringly blazing beacon of constant courage and flaming strength, and his loss hit especially hard, because of how unstoppable he always strove to be. Even the surlier Hashira like Sanemi and Obanai respected him, because he’s just that bright. He’s open, and approachable, and kind. He may be a legend, but he’s a human, living legend. He was friends with everyone, and impacted everyone’s lives just by being in them. The unceremonious and sudden nature of his death is what causes X to hit so hard for Tanjiro, and what causes Y to extend far beyond him.

If, for example, Sanemi was the one who dies at Mugen Train, things would’ve turned out much differently. Sanemi never accepted Nezuko, and probably would’ve died scorning her. This would cause X to be much less impactful for Tanjiro. He would still be devastated, because he’s Tanjiro, and because he holds a deep respect for all the Hashira, but Sanemi’s refusal to acknowledge Nezuko would significantly dampen the impact of his death. X would still hit hard, because Tanjiro is exposed to an immensely powerful warrior being unceremoniously taken out by a demon like Akaza, but Sanemi’s generally unapproachable nature as well as the fact that he stabbed Nezuko would significantly dampen the impact on Tanjiro. Additionally, Tanjiro doesn’t know Genya yet, so he wouldn’t have any personal motivation for sympathy. In the case of Rengoku, when he mentions Senjuro, that hits hard for Tanjiro, because they’re both eldest brothers. As for the rest of the Corps, they’d be devastated for the same reasons as Tanjiro- a Hashira has fallen, and that’s a rare and devastating casualty of war. But Sanemi doesn’t have the same social impact that Rengoku does, so ultimately I think neither X or Y would hit as hard.

Honestly im trying to stop myself from plugging every Hashira into this equation just for the sake of analysis, so I might come back to this later when I’ve gotten a bit more sleep lmao

Now let’s take a Hashira that Tanjiro has a personal connection to, like Shinobu or Giyuu. If Shinobu had come with Tanjiro to personally investigate Mugen Train, he would almost certainly blame himself for her death, and X would be a different flavor of powerful, because of her conversation with him in about Kanae’s dream. The death of any Hashira would cause Y to have some ripple effect, purely because it’s a Hashira, but ultimately, the only Hashira I believe could even start to rival Kyojuro’s influence is Gyomei, purely because he’s been a Hashira for so long. But no other Slayer had the same warmth and personable character that Kyojuro had, and that’s why his death in particular hits so hard. If Giyuu had died, Tanjiro would likely have been just as upset as he was with Rengoku- he’s witnessed Giyuu’s strength on multiple occasions, and Giyuu has staked his life on Nezuko. That’s something that Tanjiro won’t easily forget, and if Giyuu had died, it would easily devastate him to push himself harder, giving X the same emotional weight as Kyojuro’s death. However, because it’s Giyuu, Y would be MUCH less impactful, because a lot of the Hashira actively dislike him. ( @princeblue actually has an excellent analysis post on why he pisses the other Hashira off, I would recommend reading it, they make some excellent points!!)

Anyway, to restate my thesis, Rengoku’s death was as impactful as it was not just because he was a Hashira, but because he was Rengoku. He’s an infallible beacon of hope and warmth, and his unceremonious death sent a ripple effect through the entire Corps. He touches the lives of everyone he meets, intentionally or not- it’s just who he is. Much like Tanjiro, his passion is infectious, and his spark and drive spread to everyone who loved him after his death. It would still devastate Tanjiro to no end to watch a Hashira die in front of him, but it was Rengoku’s personal connection to not just Tanjiro, but the entire Corps that ultimately made him as impactful of a character as he was.

That last paragraph was a little shaky, I have a nasty habit of only doing analysis writing when it’s 4:30am and I should be sleeping, please ask me to clarify anything if I fucked up! I promise it makes so much sense in my head lmao

Thank you so much for this ask I’m literally happy stimming sitting here poking away at analysis posts nothing makes me happier than media-dissecting my blorbos

[struggle-but-its-all-ocean-floor]

I've been feeling like ranting and writing stuff, so here I am lmao. I'm going to get called a Jimin anti again, but whatever. I love Jimin. I love his personality and think he's an angel. My complaints don't make me love him less. They aren't even really about him.

Anyway, not to sound bitter and like I'm deep in twitter bullshit, but I've felt a bit annoyed these days over how much support Jimin got from Army which his albums over the other members. In my For You page I see tons of random OT7 accounts, and the energy when Jimin has releases vs. the other members can be crazy, even compared to the maknae line. LC never caught on like Seven, or had the same advantages, but still got n.1 on the Hot 100 because the fandom was truly committed to it. People were buying and streaming Face like crazy. There were so many posts about it. I get it, because it was the first time Army thought we had a shot at a n.1, but I don't remember seeing this frenzy for V or JK. When SGMB came out, I was really not expecting it to do so well, but maybe that was timing too. Army was not about to let Lisa "win", and I think that had a significant impact on his results. Regardless, now that Muse has been released, I see so many posts about streaming and sales from OT7 accounts, and I don't remember seeing it for Jungkook. I say Jungkook because he's my bias so I follow him more closely. I know Jkkrs say this too, so I can't be sure if I'm being biased or just getting seeing OT7 accounts that don't represent the whole. I also know Jimin has a large fanbase on twitter. Still, the way I see it, it's like Army has positioned Jimin as an "underrated member". There were so many (valid) posts about mistreatment that there was no one in the kpop community who didn't know he was releasing Muse. It's like fans go out of their way to support Jimin because he's very popular, hence will get good results, yet he's perceived as less popular than JK and V, so he needs more support... I don't expect Army to make the same effort for all the members, and the hyung line definitely does not get the same support as the maknae line, but one thing is for one member to have a stronger fanbase than others, and another is for Armys who don't even bias Jimin to put in more of an effort for him than they would other members. It makes me feel a bit upset, but hyung line stans would tell me I have no right to complain lmao.

I'm just going to continue ranting, but about Jikook now. Again, I see random OT7 accounts on my timeline, and literally the only people who talk about Jikook are Jikookers??? If V and Jimin hug there are immediately multiple posts about them being "in love", "soulmates" or "married". If Jungkook smiles at Namjoon, you'll see dozens of tweets about how JK is in love with Namjoon, blah blah... But it's like Armys completely ignore Jikook. They don't post about the travel show, they can't even see how close they are! It's so fucking ridiculous. I read all kinds of exaggerated takes on the members' dynamics, but the most "sus" dynamic of all never makes noise outside Jikookers? How?!

[mysteryanimator]

Bro your opinions on characters are so well put together I wanted to ask if you think if Olrox’s lover and Richters mom could be considered “haunting the narrative” type characters I get not all dead characters are but I feel like Nocturne would barely be a story if it weren’t for them 😭

OMG BAHAHA TYTY, I just really enjoy the nuances and character depth Nocturne has, and my gulity pass time is to do research and deep dives, then tucking them away in my brain. It really helps me to inform art I make in general coz I love putting in that same nuance visually.

Again thoughts are my own and it’s me being silly and hyperfixating ✋😔

Steering to your question, 100% the death of these characters are haunting the narrative and they both overlap each other because the death of Olrox’s lover led to the death of Julia. Particularly they haunt Olrox and Richter, aka our main protagonist and main antagonist. Both their deaths inform the choices and paths they take after the fact, which I’ll keep iterating coz it’s fun: there is always a choice. Massive theme is choicesssss. Also the consequences of your choices.

Like the whole of Nocturne could have not been the way it ended up without their deaths LOL. The narrative would’ve been wayyy different if even ONE of them were alive. Butterfly effect I think you could put it as?

Since Richter was a child when Julia died, it obviously had a massive impact on him growing up and in turn literally prevented him from doing magic until late in season 1. Nocturne Richter can’t be Nocturne Richter we know today without Julia dying. While he still grew up in a loving space that challenged him to be a strong fighter, he literally still gets haunted while dozing off. The mere echo of Olrox’s voice causes him to spiral.

Meanwhile, Olrox is STILL deeply affected by his lover’s death. I can only presume Olrox merely acts the way he does now after Julia killed his lover, merely due to my observations in Ep 6, where he talks about his lover which is a-lot more different to how he’s been presented prior to that. Was Olrox genuinely that much softer and open previously before everything happened? My thoughts are yes. While I think back then he still was this charismatic witty character is now, I’d like to think he also used to be a lot more softer and open until he lost the reason to 🥲

Which by the way, Julia and Olrox’s lover technically manifests themselves again, if that makes sense? Hopefully? I have a point with this and I hope I can get this out with the way it’s structured in my brain. Richter having his powers back, along with Juste now coming into the fray, an older familia Belmont.

Olrox, falling for a man who “burns with such passion” and “fought with the revolutionaries; Mizrak. (Mystery unable to not bring up Mizrak again whoops). As you can tell, Julia and Olrox’s lover literally even redirect them back to the where they were before. If that makes sense??

Regardless, the death of Julia and the death of Olrox’s lover is crucial to Nocturne’s story and hover above our characters. Every choice, every thought, every path they take, is haunted by their deaths.

Tyyy for the ask, cant believe this page is slowly but surely also turning into art with a side of “people allowing Mystery to ramble about their favourite show”. Can’t wait for Geeked Week so I can break down any sneak peek, frame by frame, which funnily falls on my birthday LOL

[natasha-in-space]

Can I request you RFA and Saeran ( minus Jaehee) with a male MC. The boys are just shocked they are attracted to someone same gender as them. Does Jumin Han is gay? Jumin would confirm that this is true. Male MC is literally so adorable and cute, kind and compassionate, also has some feminine trait

I do want to preface this by pointing out that this is very headcanon-territory overall! I don't think I talked much on this blog about my personal headcanons for MM gang's sexualities so far. Not directly, anyway. That is to say, they will love you regardless of your gender! All MC's are loved and cherished by the RFA, don't forget that <3

Yoosung

Now, Yoosung definitely had crushes before, but they never really went anywhere. By the time he meets you, he probably has little or no real-life experience with romantic relationships. I don't think he is very well versed in his own sexual or romantic preference... at all. He was simply too focused on studying for the majority of his school years, and once Rika has passed, the yearnings for a romantic relationships were just another form of his deep longing for human connection. So, it goes without saying that a male MC wouldn't have much impact. These feelings are still new and undiscovered for him, whether you are male, female, trans, nonbinary, etc. By the time he realizes that he is falling for you, your gender is the last thing on his mind. The thing that will come up is coming out to his family. This post focuses solely on exploring that aspect for Yoosung!

Zen

So, Zen canonically has quite a bit of relationship experience under his belt. He is aware of his likings and dislikes. I do headcanon him as questioning his sexuality, but still presenting himself as straight. A part of him just never really felt that inner push to try and pursue anything with a man. Not fully. But he definitely considers it sometimes, and he finds himself feeling attracted to non-female presenting individuals. He's kind of confused in that sense, often writing it off on him finding someone aesthetically attractive is all. I have a feeling that there were some men approaching him romantically or sexually, though. He works in a creative field, and creative spaces are often, if not always, full of queer people. So, for him, it'll be more of a confirmation than anything else. He finds you attractive, both inside and out, and that's a feeling he recognizes well enough. He'll be way more awkward with flirting, though. He knows how to charm a lady, but he's clueless if he should do anything specific for a man. You'll have to give him a push there.

Jumin

Jumin is not that interested in learning about his romantic or sexual preferences. Although he appears somewhat clueless, he really just... doesn't care much. In a way, he always knew that he is capable of attraction to more than one gender, he just never had a word for it, nor did he care enough to learn. I personally headcanon him on the ace spectrum, so that plays into his indifference towards his love life. Of course, that's not to overlook the role his unfortunate upbringing played in shaping his views on romantic relationships. He would definitely be way more involved if his family didn't raise him the way they did. (But we're not touching that huge can of worms right now) I don't think he will care much about labels, not until you or someone else brings it up to him. He just knows that he loves you, and that's that. He doesn't understand nor appreciate anyone questioning him or meddling into his personal affairs. His family included. So, I don't think he will be all that shocked, nor will he struggle. Most of his intimacy issues stem from his upbringing, not much else.

Saeyoung

It's pretty much a common knowledge that Saeyoung is very blatantly not straight. He doesn't try very hard to conceal it, nor does he care to. I actually view him as the most flirty one of the group, so he has his fair share of fleeting flirty connections with many people of all gender identities. None of it was anything meaningful nor serious, though. He's the sort of guy who flirts with everyone in the room, but will quickly fumble and leave if someone reciprocates his advances. Saeyoung's issue is not so much about his sexuality as it is about his unique situation regarding his job and identity.

Saeran

Saeran... doesn't know much, if anything, about sexuality. His knowledge is very limited to what little he reads in books and Rika's words. In other words, I don't believe Rika would instruct him that feeling something for another man is wrong or incorrect. I think it's pretty clear that she is not the type of person to do that or believe in that. (That's not mentioning that she is very not straight herself but I digress) I do think Ray would talk about it with her, though. Although she trusted him to select a tester on his own, I'm certain that she still overlooked some aspects of the process. And we do know that Rika doesn't really mind his attraction towards you. It's only when that attraction grows into something more substantial that challenges his loyalty to her does it become an issue in her eyes. That is to say, Ray wouldn't care if you are a man. He finds you as lovely as can be. Just be prepared to be called a prince. And Ray will probably want to be your knight. He can't think of a role more fitting than one that will make him serve you and protect you like you deserve.

[dopscratch]

Spydad Excerpt

so a while ago i was just idk going wild over spydad and dadgineer and my tf2 headcanons and wrote this

idk if i will ever finish it but it doesn't seem right for it to just rot away in my docs

and yes i do have a LOT of headcanons for engie's family which i may share at a later date if the interest arises haha

i still absolutely love spydad and also extremely love dadgineer so this is certainly not the end

without further ado:

The Engineer prided himself on being able to solve practical problems, very efficiently with a copious amount of gun. He had a feeling this one would take a little more nuance.

---

Down in the dusty badlands of New Mexico, a Texan with a hard hat and oil-stained overalls offered his help to a rather taken aback Frenchman in a prohibitively expensive suit. It all started when a new man joined the team of mercenaries warring in the gravel pits two exorbitantly rich brothers were feuding over. Really, the new Scout was a kid, in his early twenties physically and even younger mentally. He adapted quickly to the job and his new coworkers. It certainly wasn't his first time he had worked as a trained killer, judging by the practiced ease he handled his weapons. The amount of gloating he did while slaughtering the enemy helped too. He fit right in with the rest of the questionably sane men, sharing that marked disregard for human life. However, the resident Engineer noticed something strange going on between the newcomer and the Spy. Usually, the masked infiltrator was distant and unseen on the battlefield, his only impact being the convenient disappearance of some enemy forces and the strategic destruction of a few buildings. Ever since the Scout joined, he seemed to be much more present and daring, stabbing backs in the frontlines much more frequently. In the Engineer's opinion, Spy had blocked far too many bullets cloaked in front of the young mercenary for it to be coincidental. The implications were so clear to him. Some might have called it an instinct, others may have chalked it up to excellent reasoning skills. Regardless, the assumption had planted itself deep in the Engineer's mind, and at a certain point just became fact.

"Say, son, how does it feel to work with someone you personally know?" The Engineer asked the Scout one day as they were getting ready to enter the battlefield.

"Eh? Whaddya on about, egghead?" The pure confusion from the Bostonian would have marked an embarrassing miscalculation on Engie's part if it weren't for the Spy, standing a couple feet behind the Scout, dropping his precious cigarette. Though he quickly wiped the look off of his face, it was enough. The kid didn't know.

"Ah, never mind. Musta spaced out for a second, mistook ya for someone else. Guess I'm gettin' old, huh?" The Engineer laughed good-naturedly and headed off for the gates, leaving the baffled Scout behind.

---

The Engineer was not done with this. Perhaps it was the sudden separation from his own kids, still a fresh wound even after months. In retrospect, he had no business in meddling with the two. Interpersonal relations strayed dangerously far from his area of expertise. In the moment though, he was not about to deny the kid the presence of a father who clearly still cared for him. So, he approached the Spy on that hot, dusty afternoon.

"Spy, I know we've got our differences, but I can't just stand here and watch that sad display you got goin' there between you and your son. If there's anythin' I can do, just say the word."

"What." Was all the normally eloquent Frenchman could muster in response. 

"Well, I'm a father myself, so I suppose I could give ya some pointers-"

"I don't think I need help from a man who was banned from seeing his own children," the Spy snapped back coldly.

"How didja know about that?" Even as the Engineer asked the question, he already knew the answer. Still, it was strange hearing it from someone else when he had put so much effort into separating his personal and work life.

"I am the Spy. It is my job. However, you are the Engineer. Your job is to make little toys to aid us in battle. So tell me, tinkerer, how did you know about me?" 

"Well..." He started, lifting a hand to adjust his helmet. "I noticed y'all been hangin' around a touch more ever since the kid joined..." The Spy raised an eyebrow.

"So you guessed. It was pure luck. Fascinating." The observation was nearly more sarcasm than accent, and Spy had a pretty heavy accent.

"I wouldn't say that," Engie quickly interjected, unwilling to take that blow to his ego. "I’d call it more of a... educated guess. A hypothesis, ya might say.”

---

and unfortunately that's all i've got, but hope you enjoyed :)

[jeonsweetpea]

Moonstruck (12)

Werewolf & Vampire Hybrid!AU, Supernatural!AU | Hybrid!Jungkook x Hybrid!Reader | Werewolf!Taehyung x Hybrid!Reader (ft. BTS)

genre: smut, angst, e2l, supernatural, thriller, slow burn

rating: mature

description: Too much is at stake for you to stay on campus. Jimin must not get your blood no matter what. 

word count: 8k

warnings: contains SPOILERS! Cussing, mention of blood, death, corpses, weapons, tranquilizers, infidelity

a/n: It’s summer break and I’m BACK! Please know I love you all from the bottom of my heart if you are still keeping up with my series. I cannot thank you enough for your patience. Enjoy! Please let me know what you think. :)

Moonstruck Series Masterlist

“The cure for a werewolf bite is an original hybrid’s blood.”

His eyes widened at this brand new information. With no time to lose, he waited for the coast to be clear and bolted out of the cellar. His thighs and lungs burned from the lactic acid build up but nothing else mattered. He had to warn you. 

“[Y/N]!” he cried as he neared your dorm room, panting heavily.  However, the sight of your unconscious body in Jungkook’s arms made the professor almost forget what he had come here for. Your boyfriend was in the middle of feeding you his blood from his wrist, but you weren’t responding.

“She’s not waking up…” Jungkook said, sobbing softly as he looked up to meet his gaze. “Professor Min… what do I do?” 

Yoongi stepped into the room and got down on the floor to check on your condition, checking for signs of desiccation. “Tell me what happened.”

“Ari. She did some spell on her and she fainted.”

“How long ago did this happen?”

“I don’t know, maybe fifteen minutes ago?”

“She’s not turning gray, so she’s not dead.” He leaned his ear closer to your face. “I hear her exhaling. She’ll be fine. This might work to our advantage. You gotta get her out of here before he comes for her.”

“Who?”

“The headmaster. Taehyung bit Jimin and the only cure for a werewolf bite is [Y/N]’s blood.”

“Yes, I know. I ran here to find her, but she was already like this.”

“Then what are you still doing here?!” Yoongi’s incredulous voice startled Jungkook. “This is our leverage against Jimin. If she stays here, we will never be able to get answers out of him.”

“What? A student of yours is dying and you’re thinking of using it against him?” 

“Look, we don’t have time for this. We know he’s the one behind everything.”

“Do we, though? He could actually die. What’s wrong with you?”

Yoongi was quick to deflect and shrug off Jungkook’s obvious disgust. “Is your head straight? Did Jimin say something to you?”

“N-No! But I don’t understand how getting bitten could possibly help him here!”

Yoongi placed a firm hand on the boy’s shoulder. “Listen to me. You know [Y/N]’s past now, right?” He nodded in response. “Then you know damn well that she will save anyone regardless of what they’ve done. That pressure can be unbearable and she’s been everyone’s savior. Hell, she’s been everyone’s villain when convenient. How do you think asking her to save Jimin, our primary suspect, will impact her?”

Jungkook lowered his gaze, his knitted brows deep in thought. “Shit… it’d be hell for her.”

“So you understand. Here,” He slipped a piece of paper into Jungkook’s shirt pocket. “Leave and go to this address. I’ll meet up with you later and distract Namjoon and the others.” 

Jungkook stood up with you in his arms bridal-style and hustled off campus. 

“I’m so stupid,” he muttered. How could he forget his sense of purpose? Nothing mattered except you, yet here he was worrying over Jimin. A pang of guilt festered in his heart when he realized Yoongi was right. Asking you to save Jimin would be too much.

“Almost there, almost there,” he breathed, seeing a clearing up ahead between two large trees. Hearing the snow crunch beneath his feet worried him, as footprints meant they could be followed. However, he couldn’t dwell on that concern for long when he collided into something hard yet undetectable. It sent him flying backwards, but he held onto your body tight and made sure only he’d feel pain from the fall.

“What the hell was that…?” he breathed, feeling the pain seep through his entire back. He slowly sat up and held you close, resting your head on his chest. “I won’t let them take you.”

“Hey! There’s a force field over there!” a booming voice called out. Jungkook turned his attention to the left to see Professor Kim emerge from the forest, the only thing illuminating his face in the night being a flickering candle. As he drew nearer, Jungkook realized the candle was not only unique but creepy—all black with an inverted skull resting on top of a metal ornate base. 

“Yeah, I felt it,” Jungkook said with a huff. “That candle…”

Namjoon halted his steps and lifted the object with a raised eyebrow. “Ah, yes. Truly a remarkable artifact. It’s called the Flame of Imprisonment and traps supernatural beings in the space it burns.”

Jungkook’s gaze lingered on the candle long enough for Namjoon to wag a disapproving finger at him. 

“Ah, ah, ah. The flame can only be put out by the one who ignited it, which is me.”

“Let us leave.”

“We need her, Jungkook,” the professor stated firmly. 

“Do you even know what you’re asking of her?!” he shouted, setting your head down gently on the snow. Namjoon took a small step back when the boy stood up, staring daggers straight into his soul. “She saves everyone, including those who don’t deserve it! You have no right to keep her here!”

“You’re being irrational. Her blood is the only thing that can cure a werewolf bite and Jimin doesn’t have much time. Who put you up to this?”

“No one. It’s not fair for her to be pressured to save others again.”

Namjoon took a moment to think and then snapped his fingers in realization. “Professor Min.” He rubbed his forehead in frustration after seeing Jungkook’s not-so-subtle reaction, confirming his suspicions. “I knew he was up to something. Good thing I fired him.”

“You fired him?!” Jungkook replied, shocked.

“Look, do you really want a fellow student to die? You were so eager to save him before.”

“That was before I stopped to think about how it would affect her. I didn’t consider her feelings. No one ever does.” He tightened his fist as anger overshadowed his other emotions to the point where he couldn’t think straight. He wanted to punch something, better yet someone, but before he could, he felt the slightest tug at his pant leg.

“Hey…” you said in a gentle manner. Jungkook’s attention went straight to the ground, eyes wide and alert. You sat up slowly and he jumped right at the opportunity to help you stand up. 

“My love, you’re awake.” His embrace exuded such warmth in the bitter cold frost. It was like all your problems and stress vanished and only soothing comfort remained. “I’m so sorry. You were right; we should’ve left before.”

He looked over his shoulder to see Namjoon closing the gap. Like the protective, loyal canine he was, he got in front of you and spread his arms wide to stop the professor from getting closer. “Get back!”

“There’s nowhere for you to go. Let [Y/N] decide for herself.”

Jungkook looked over his shoulder to see your fatigued state. You could barely keep your eyes awake, your legs mere jelly and unstable. When your boyfriend noticed your weakened state, he caught you in his arms once again as you passed out.

“I think it would be best if we all went back.”

Those were the last words you heard before everything turned black.

Waking up to the sight of your dorm room brought a sense of relieving comfort. Your head, however, was far from comfortable due to the splitting headache. When you attempted to sit up, it only worsened, but you pushed through to stand up.

Dizziness overcame you like a tidal wave, your legs nothing but wobbly jelly limbs. It took everything in you to not topple over and you realized it’s been a while since you’ve had any blood. You checked your mini-fridge to see one blood bag left.

Thank goodness.

It didn’t stand a chance against your hunger, drained of its content in a matter of seconds. Somehow the taste was far more satiating than you remembered. Not bland like you recalled but quite savory, yet refreshing in a way you weren’t expecting. Hunger truly was the best seasoning for mediocre animal blood. 

Turning to your left, you let out a yelp at the blurry silhouette that suddenly appeared by your bed. The blood bag fell out of your hands as you froze, enthralled by the sight of the mysterious being. Its aura felt pure, so you didn’t feel endangered. You stood still and waited for the mysterious figure to come into focus.

“Get out,” you demanded with zero hesitation. No way you were dealing with her after last night.

“[Y/N, please…” She reached her hand out to you and you smacked it away. However, you quickly came to find out her flesh was intangible. Your eyes widened in alarm, inspecting your hand for any abnormalities after it passed through her ghostly figure.

“You’re not here…” you whispered, more to yourself than her. 

“Astral projection,” Ari clarified. “I don’t have much time. She’ll wake up soon and then I’ll disappear.”

You returned your attention back to her. “Who…?”

“You were right all along. I wish I had done more to stop—” 

Her face contorted with pain as she clutched her chest with one hand, falling onto her knees. It wasn’t until she started retching out black goo that you kneeled down by her side. Despite everything she’s done to you, you didn’t have the heart to abandon her in her time of need.

“Ari, what the hell is happening to you?!” you asked, concerned. She let out a weak chuckle, then proceeded to vomit more of the black goo. You jolted back in fear of it getting on you when you remembered—she wasn’t really here.

“I think I’m dying… It’s getting harder to fight her,” she said, face growing paler and paler. She stared at you with glassy eyes as a black glob of goo fell onto the floor when she smiled. Rather than being repulsed, you felt sympathy when you saw the immense despair in her eyes. “I made so many mistakes. With you… with him…”

“You mean Jimin?”

She nodded. “You didn’t deserve it. Any of it. And if I had known what he was really planning, I would’ve stopped him. Stopped her. But she’s too strong now and I can’t do anything else. I’m so sorry.”

“Who is ‘she’?”

“The other me,” she panted. Sweat droplets were forming across her forehead and then she simply collapsed. You were at a loss for words, repeating her name over and over for her to regain consciousness.

“Ari, Ari, Ari! Choi Ari, wake up! Damn it, what is going on? You need to help me!”

“No need to yell…” she croaked weakly, cracking a small smile. “I don’t have much time left.”

She strained to open her eyes and pointed her finger in the direction of her computer desk. “What? What is it?”

“My notebook. Read it and everything will make sense. But don’t let her catch you with it.”

“How can I trust you? You said not to trust you before in my dream where there were two of you!”

“And now there might only be one.” Using her remaining strength, she wrapped her arms around your body, embracing you in a hug. Except you couldn’t feel her warm touch at all and that made you tear up. 

“[Y/N]...” She said your name so tenderly like you were her sister. “Please save me.”

“How?”

Her voice, now a mere whisper, delivered a message that sent chills down your spine. “Saving Jimin will save me.”

Before you could ask for clarification, her body quickly vanished along with the massive pool of black sludge, leaving you dazed. What did she mean by saving Jimin? 

Getting up from the floor, your eyes went straight to the drawer of her computer desk. You walked over apprehensively as if its contents contained a bomb. As soon as you touched the drawer, a powerful jolt of electricity singed your fingers.

“Mother of fuuu—!!!” you exclaimed, shaking your hand in response to the pain. She spelled it. Of course. 

Fortunately the pain was minimal and would soon heal on its own. 

Think, think, think. Ari attacked me last night. And now she’s asking me to save her by saving Jimin… whatever that means. Then… I was outside with Jungkook and Professor Kim. Yes! And they were arguing about… something.

Rapid footsteps interrupted your train of thought before someone barged in, destroying your room door in the process. You apprehended the intruder, pinning him to the floor while sitting on his back and pulling his arm backwards in a secure armlock. 

“What the hell are you doing?!” you shouted. The perpetrator didn’t show any signs of resistance.

“You have to get out of here!” Sunghyun warned, groaning from how much you twisted his arm. 

“Why? You have no right to barge in here!”

“Jimin got bitten by Taehyung! Your blood is the only thing that can cure him!” You dropped his arm almost immediately once the initial shock passed. Getting off his back, you sat on the floor stunned. Namjoon mentioned the cure for werewolf venom being very limited, but you had never once considered the possibility it was your blood.

Sunghyun sat up and rubbed his arm to soothe the aching pain.

“You… you better not be fucking around,” you breathed. Ari… is this what you meant?

“Do I look like I’m fucking around?” he asked, a desperate whine in his voice. “I know you have no reason to believe me‒”

“Because you exploited my life.”

“You’re right. For validation that wasn't worth it.” You studied his conflicted expressions, noticing how he was holding his head in regret.

“Listen…” he started. “As a writer, I’ve been observing and documenting things on campus for a while. I’ve studied you all. I know characters in a story aren’t a true depiction of them in real life… but you were right to suspect Jimin.”

The unexpected validation made you feel good for a moment, but that didn’t change the fact his being here was shady.

“What makes you say that…?”

“Because he’s not working alone. Someone else here—”Just then your and Sunghyun’s sharp ears picked up the sound of Jungkook and Professor Kim approaching. “Shit. You have to go. Jimin can’t get your blood no matter what.”

You had too many questions left unanswered but all you could say was, “I’m not leaving Jungkook!”

“You don’t understand. There are forces at play that see hybrids like us as a threat!” he snapped, quickly getting up from the floor while yanking you along. 

Us…?

Your eyes went back to Ari’s computer desk. You tried to shake him off and head towards it, but his ironclad grip got the best of you. “I need to open that drawer. Please!”

“There’s no time!” He pulled something out of his pocket and it blinded you with a radiant, ember glow. You shielded your sensitive eyes with your arm.

“What are you doing?!”

“Come on, damn you, work!” Sunghyun shouted in frustration. You opened one eye to see your body slowly disappearing from the ground up. A shriek left your lips as Jungkook and Professor Kim came rushing into your room. “Faster… faster…!”

By this point more than half your body was gone. You met eyes with your partner, who was struck with horror.

“Jungkook…” you whispered, wondering if this was it for you. Your lover reached his hand out to you, but there was nothing to grab onto. He was too late. 

The boy was devastated and tackled Sunghyun onto the ground. “Where is she?!”

“Somewhere safe,” Sunghyun replied, a relieved smile spread across his face. 

“Get him back to the cellar,” Namjoon ordered.

Upon opening your eyes, you were greeted with nothing but wood. From the furniture to the walls, to the floors—the place was weathered and rustic. Enough sunlight filtered through the partially closed curtains of wherever you were, casting enough of a glow to show you the thin layers of dust inside. In the corner, a fireplace stood cold and lifeless except for charred remnants that hadn’t been cleaned out. It felt small and cozy, yet there was an undeniable sense of abandonment that lingered. 

Moving further into what you assumed to be a cabin, the kitchen was bare. You opened the fridge to see spoiled, untouched food. The unpleasant smell wafted into your nose, causing you to retch. However, you realized the main stench that occupied your nose was coming from somewhere else. 

Following the odor, your steps faltered once you rounded the corner and came face to face with the door to the bedroom, which was already wide open. You froze in your tracks upon entering the room and seeing before you the remains of two bodies, now reduced to mere echoes of life.

Blood stained the walls and floor, the crimson evidence of unimaginable violence. The room had become a haunting chamber of death, permeated by the scent of decay. Your heart was gutted despite not knowing the identities of the two victims. Something about this was far more unsettling than the deaths you’ve encountered in the past.

You, naturally curious and observant, bent down to further inspect the bodies. The blood had been dry for a while; two months if you had to guess. A glimmer of metal soon caught your eye thanks to your lowered stance, so you scooted closer and reached your hand underneath the bed to grab the item. 

The distinct cylindrical shape, the faint traces of vervain and wolfsbane your nose picked up, the gold color—this was a bullet shell casing. Unlike any ordinary casing, this one exuded an aura of mystique and craftsmanship, bearing intricate engravings. You recognized it all too well. 

Only one person owned something so unique and deadly—the headmaster. You’ve seen these casings the multiple times you’ve borrowed his weapons as you fought alongside him. Confusion mingled with horror as you wondered how the casing ended up here. 

Did Namjoon kill these people? The chances they were human were far more probable because your nose didn’t pick up a supernatural scent. Maybe they were in the middle of transitioning and he was doing them a favor? But then why did Sunghyun send you here?

“[Y/N]! Jungkook! Are you here?!” The sound of a familiar voice made you exhale in relief. You retreated from the room and ran into Yoongi, who placed a hand on his chest at the sight of you. He was panting heavily with a backpack slung over his shoulder. “Thank god, Jungkook managed to get you here. Where is he?”

“Jungkook didn’t bring me here,” you revealed, confused. As you moved closer, your attention was drawn to the prominent vertical scar etched along the right side of his face. It began just above his eyebrow, traversed past his eye, and terminated at the level of his nostrils. “Oh my god, what happened to you?!”

Yoongi shielded his face without thinking and let out a short chuckle. “It’s fine, just a scratch. Namjoon didn’t exactly agree with letting you leave campus.”

“So he attacked you with a knife?! My god, take some of my blood to heal it.” As you were about to bite your own flesh, Yoongi yanked your arm away from your mouth. 

“No, I’ll be okay! Besides, I look cooler this way. Don’t you agree?” He flashed you a cheeky gummy smile and flexed his muscles in a superhero-esque pose, which weirded you out to say the least. You tilted your head as you processed why he was being so laid-back about this whole situation. 

“I thought you could use a laugh. Guess I’m not that funny,” he added quickly to ease the awkwardness. You managed to crack a small smile. 

“I’m laughing on the inside,” you said in an appreciative tone. “How are you here, Professor Min?”

“The journal I found in Hoseok’s house had a secret message. I decoded it to find this address and saw it was a cabin in the middle of nowhere. This is the Jung family’s safehouse. I was hoping Hoseok was here with his family.”

Your eyes widened in shock, legs trembling as you took a shaky step backward. 

“[Y/N]? What’s wrong?”

“I-I… There are two dead bodies in the bedroom,” you revealed. Yoongi’s nostrils flared as he walked past you to face the truth himself. You followed him to the bedroom and stood by his side. 

“Shit. We’re too late,” he muttered, hanging his head low. “Are they…?”

“Mr. and Mrs. Jung? Based on their clothing most likely.” 

“Hoseok mentioned not hearing from his parents for a while before he left. Who could’ve done this?”

You clutched your fist with the bullet casing angrily. “Take a look at this.”

Yoongi took one look at your open palm and cursed again, snatching the casing away from you to examine it closer. “This is Namjoon’s.”

“Do you think he killed the Jungs?” 

“He had no reason to; the Jungs were human. Man, what the hell happened to them?”

“I wish I knew…”

“Wait. Earlier you said Jungkook didn’t bring you here. How did you know to come here then?”

“Sunghyun sent me here by um… teleportation I think.” Yoongi’s mouth was parted open slightly, as if he was preparing to say something but no words had formed. “But that’s not possible because he’s a vampire… right?”

Yoongi held his chin deep in thought. “A while back Sunghyun showed me a photo of an amulet. He wanted to know more about it for his novel and I thought nothing of it. But if he really sent you here, that means he actually has the amulet in his possession.”

“What amulet?”

He met your gaze. “The Amulet of Nightfall. A talisman used to siphon the magic from a vampire and allow them to cast spells.”

“What? Like a witch would? How on earth would Sunghyun get his hands on such a powerful relic?”

“I have no idea. According to history, there was only one in the world, but it was believed to be destroyed. No one wanted vampires to have such abilities. He’d be like a hybrid.”

Sunghyun’s words echoed in your head. “You don’t understand. There are forces at play that see hybrids like us as a threat!”

“That’s why he said ‘us’...” you mumbled. 

“What was that?”

“Sunghyun called himself a hybrid. But if the amulet acts as a conduit for magic, doesn’t that mean he’s powerless without it?”

“Depends on his lineage. He could be a true hybrid of vampire and witch and never told us… or he could be a normal vampire with an upgrade.”

“Dang, I’m not special anymore,” you said jokingly. Yoongi gave you a puzzled look. “You know… because I’m not the only hybrid? It was a joke. Guess we’re both not funny.”

Yoongi’s eyes softened and he forced out a laugh. “Oh… Haha. Hahaha!”

You rolled your eyes in response. “Anyway, I don’t understand how Sunghyun knew to send me here.”

“Is it possible he’s helping Jimin?”

“No. He told me I can’t give my blood to Jimin no matter what.”

“So you know? That you’re the cure?”

“Yeah. I’m pissed about it.”

It was then Yoongi’s phone vibrated in his pocket and he whipped it out instinctively, brows knitted together in disgust at the caller ID. Still, he picked up the call and put the phone on speaker for you to hear.

“Namjoon,” he said curtly. “I’m not coming back. You fired me anyway.”

His deep chuckle blasted through the phone speaker. “My dear friend, I’m calling for her. [Y/N]? How are you feeling?”

You and Yoongi exchanged knowing glances. “What do you want, Namjoon?” 

“Ah, you’re really there. Sunghyun gave you up so fast.”

“What did you do to him?” you asked impatiently.

“He’s fine. Back in the cellar actually. Seems like he’s gotten into magic recently, but I’ll deal with that later. I’m more interested in you.”

“What about me?”

“You have to come back.”

“Why? To save Jimin?”

“Yes. Your blood is the only cure to a werewolf bite. You know it’s the right thing to do. You always save people. You owe me.”

Self-control out the window, you swiped Yoongi’s phone out of his hand and began yelling. “Owe you?! That’s hilarious. You know my trauma and you have the audacity to ask me such a thing when you keep hiding secrets! I know this is all a ploy!”

“Ploy for what?!” Namjoon roared just as angrily. “He’s fucking dying, [Y/N]! Are you so blinded by your pettiness to not understand the gravity of the situation? There’s enough evidence in Sunghyun’s notebook and blog to incriminate him. Jimin got bit. Get it through your head!”

“I’m not coming back! What happened to you? What happened to us?!” Your eyes quickly became glassy and Yoongi placed a firm hand on your shoulder, shaking his head. 

He mouthed the words, “Calm down.”

You regained your sense of self, taking a moment to regulate your emotions. “Unless Jimin admits to everything that’s been going on, I’m not coming back to save him.” 

“Oh, you think you’re in a position to negotiate?” He let out another chuckle, this one more sadistic. “Let’s see how you feel after Jungkook talks to you.”

“If you did something to him, I swear to god…” Shuffle noises were heard as the phone was passed around. “Babe? Jungkook?”

Soft sniffles were heard first before a shaky voice called out your name. “[Y/N]... how could you?”

“Huh?”

His sniffles transformed into full on sobbing, words too incoherent to understand. “... kill… how… why… Hoseok…”

“Breathe, I can’t understand you.”

“YOU KILLED HOSEOK’S FAMILY!” The awful accusation coming from your partner’s lips ripped your heart to shreds. Revulsion laced in every word, anger seething through his tone, hate festering in his heart—you were at a loss for words.

“Where is this coming from?” Yoongi intervened, hoping to get more information while letting you process.

“YOU’RE A MURDERER!” he shouted full of contempt. 

“I… I’m not. I would never kill another unless it was absolutely necessary…” you said softly but loud enough so he could still hear you.

“The evidence is here, [Y/N]!” His volume had lessened but not by much. “Two detectives showed up looking for you. They found the bullet casing that matches the bullets used in the handgun you took from Professor Kim.”

You and Yoongi took another look at the bullet casing you had on hand in the safehouse. How could a pair of regular detectives match the specific caliber and type of ammunition used by your gun when it’s so unique? 

“I’m not the one who made those bullets!” you argued back. “Why am I on trial here when Namjoon could have shot them himself?!”

“My love, if you have any respect for me… you’ll answer my next question truthfully,” he said in a grave tone. You held your breath. “Where did you get the blood?”

“What blood?”

“The blood bag in your room.”

“I got it from school. They provide us bags of animal blood. You know this.”

“Is it really from the school?”

“You can see the logo on it. I don’t understand how this is relevant.”

He let out a frustrated groan. “Damn it, [Y/N]. Where did you get the blood?!”

“From the school! It’s animal blood!” you cried. This conversation was redundant and pointless!

“IT’S NOT!” he argued. “The detectives found Mr. and Mrs. Jung’s bodies and took a blood sample. The blood bag in your room matches Mr. Jung’s. You drank his blood. You had it this whole time!”

Your heart constricted to the point where you thought it would explode. For a moment your ears were ringing and none of Yoongi’s questions were getting through to you. The phone fell from your hands in the same way you fell to your knees. You kept shaking your head and mumbling to yourself that there was no way you drank human blood. It’s not possible. It couldn’t be!

Yoongi picked up the phone off the ground. “Hey. What proof do you have that it’s hers?” No response. He punched the wall in anger. “I asked you what proof do you have?!”

“Professor Min…” you said, taken aback.

“I’ve known [Y/N] far longer than you,” he said, coming to your defense. “She has not once killed a human since her past. Even during her time with her humanity off, there wasn’t a single report of any humans dying in the towns she went to. So before you destroy every ounce of trust in your relationship, tell me how you know for sure she could’ve done it.”

Jungkook was silent for a moment, wiping away his tears. “These detectives are from a special task force that hunts supernatural creatures. They’ve been searching for the Jungs for months and when they finally found their bodies, it led them straight here. Professor Kim told them about the handgun. And then they did a DNA test on the tube of the blood bag. It was a match.”

“No…” He met your crestfallen eyes. “Did you really drink his blood?”

You couldn’t face him any longer and hugged your knees, rocking back and forth. “I didn’t know. I didn’t know. I didn’t know.”

The words kept repeating off your lips and Professor Min clutched his phone so hard, he thought it was going to break. 

“Anyway…” Yoongi clenched his jaw at the sudden change to Namjoon’s voice. “The reason why you didn’t find a single report, my dear ex-colleague, was because the bodies hadn’t been found. Now that they have been, the estimated times of death match when [Y/N] took the gun and left with her humanity off. Can you really tell me you feel safe right now next to her?”

His silence spoke for him.

“[Y/N], I’ll make this easy for you. You can turn yourself in or have the entire S.T.R.I.D.E task force hunt you down. There is also a third option if you want to hear it. I think it’s the best deal.”

You stopped rocking back and forth. “Say it.”

“You come back, save Jimin, and I’ll work out a deal with the detectives where you aren’t tortured for life. Jimin has about 3 days left, so if you don’t make a decision, they’re coming after you.”

And with that, the phone call ended. You got up off the floor and grabbed Yoongi’s arm in desperation. 

“Professor Min, I promise I didn’t kill the Jungs. I don’t know how that blood bag got in my fridge! I thought it was animal blood because I was so out of it. I’m telling the truth. Please believe me.”

“... I do believe you. So stop crying.” You didn’t realize there were tears until he wiped them away with his sleeve. 

“You do? But why? Not even Jungkook believes me.”

“Because… I lost someone I cared about because I didn’t believe him the first time. I’m not making that mistake again.”

“Who? Are you talking about—”

“Doesn’t matter. We have a serious dilemma on our hands. What do you want to do?”

“I don’t know. The stakes are too high. I’m freaking out.”

“I would be too. You’ve been through so much. Do you… want a hug?” His question caused your tears to resurface because Professor Min Yoongi wasn’t a hugger. His thoughtfulness touched your heart and you nodded, giving him permission to wrap his arms around you. “Everything will be alright. I have a plan.”

Things on campus remained the same for the most part. Sunghyun, who had previously escaped his shackles, received new ones in a separate cage that dampened his magical abilities. Taehyung was still in his cell moping around and tight-lipped while Ari napped off her worries. Professor Kim tended to them when needed with Jungkook’s assistance. 

“You don’t have to stay…” Jimin croaked, voice hoarse and weak. Jungkook was beside his cot on a stool, wringing out a wet towel from a bucket of water. He gently dabbed it around the vampire’s bite wound to wipe up the excess blood.

“I want to.” 

The room went silent as Jungkook continued to tend to him, their eyes occasionally meeting and locking in a moment of unspoken understanding. Every so often Jimin winced when the boy got too close to the bite and Jungkook would apologize. The atmosphere was charged with a mix of tension, confusion, and lingering feelings.

“Did something happen?” Jimin finally asked, breaking the silence. Jungkook placed a different wet towel on the curious vampire’s forehead to cool down his body temperature. 

“That obvious, huh?” Jungkook pressed his lips together in a fine line as he clenched his fists resting on top of his thighs. “I’m honestly having a difficult time right now.”

“Well,” Jimin said with a kind smile. “Lucky for you I am immobile and have nothing better to do than listen to your worries.”

Jungkook met his gaze, frowning in disapproval at the joke. “If [Y/N] has any sense of redeeming herself, she’ll come back and cure you. She has to.”

“Sorry, I think I’m hallucinating. You think she’s coming back? You want her to come and cure me?” Jimin chuckled to himself and then burst out into laughter, immediately regretting it as the pain shot through his body. 

“Dude, stop. You’re already dying enough.” Jungkook scolded. 

“I can’t help it. She hates me. And I’m pretty sure you do too.”

“I don’t.”

“You don’t?”

“I don’t… know anything anymore.” He slouched forward in his chair, holding his head in his hands. Jimin used his remaining strength to sit up on the bed, placing a hand on the boy’s shoulder. 

“Talk to me. Please.”

Jungkook lifted his head, eyes so full of despair that it pained Jimin more than the werewolf venom seeping through his veins. The boy began filling him in on what happened earlier, starting with the detectives’ appearance. Next, he told Jimin about the bullet casing and then finally about the blood bag in your room. 

“Holy shit…” Jimin breathed, mortified by how things took such a turn.

“Yeah. I can’t believe it myself, but all evidence points to her. I feel betrayed, Jimin.” The way he said it was so broken, so devastated. “Despite everything, I still miss her.”

He hung his head low and bit his lip, trying his best to endure and not cry. 

“It’s okay to miss her.”

Jungkook snapped his head up when a hand was placed on top of his own. Despite him slowly turning gray and desiccating, Jimin’s smile was beaming so brightly. His gaze was soft, yet piercing with affection and longing. It made Jungkook forget everything that was going on but alas, it was a fleeting moment that stopped as soon as Jimin squeezed the boy’s hand. 

“No.” Jungkook pulled his hand away and got up from the stool, pacing back and forth anxiously. 

“No?”

“No. No. No!” He stopped to face Jimin on the cot. “We can’t do that.”

Jimin's expression darkened, and a hint of a devious smile tugged at the corner of his lips. “Why? We’ve done more than that.”

“Stop.” Jungkook warned with his index finger up. “Don’t go there.”

The vampire chuckled, holding the side of his ribcage to ease the aching pain. “We kissed. And I know you felt something.”

Jungkook took a deep breath, his voice filled with a mixture of frustration and vulnerability. “It was a mistake.”

“You let me kiss you.”

“I didn’t! You caught me off guard!”

Jimin threw his head back and laughed again. “I’m just that good of a sparring partner, I suppose.”

“This isn’t funny.”

“I want you to be honest with yourself. I haven’t stopped thinking about you since our kiss. Hell, I’ve thought about you when you had spent nights in my room because [Y/N] and Taehyung were together. We talked. We laughed. We shared things in common. I finally felt like someone got to know me. The real me.”

Jungkook kept his distance but sighed. “Fine… I can't deny that something was there. The moment we shared… It felt real, but… too much has happened and I’m in a vulnerable spot. It’s not fair to [Y/N].  Or Ari for that matter.”

“Is it so wrong to want to be with you? Haven’t you thought about it even once?”

“Stop fucking around.”

“I’m literally dying. I’ll do whatever I please. After what you told me, don’t you see that [Y/N] was manipulating you? I’m the only one who truly understands you. Being with someone like her must be draining because you’re always on edge, having to worry about picking up the pieces.”

“Jimin, stop.”

“It started when she saved your life. You don’t love her. You think you owe her. Why else are you trying so hard to break the sire bond?”

“I said stop!” he yelled, shifting his eyes to goldenrod. 

Jimin’s face turned grim, glaring at the boy who raised his voice at him. “Think it over, Jungkook. I’ll stop once I’m dead.”

Jungkook exited the cage with a huff and locked it behind him before he could hear anymore. He headed towards the stairs to exit the cellar for good, passing by Taehyung and Ari’s cages. Ari was still sound asleep while Taehyung laid on his cot, staring at the ceiling absentmindedly.

“Hey.” 

Jungkook stopped walking even though he knew he should’ve kept going.

“What? Are you ready to talk?”

“You really think she did it. That she killed two humans so ruthlessly. You have to admit that’s kinda hot.”

His monotone voice irritated Jungkook further. Why was he being nonchalant about you and your actions?

“I don’t have time for your nonsense.”

“I still love her, you know.”

Jungkook grabbed the cell bars and scoffed. “I don’t care.”

“No matter what she’s done… I can deal with it. The good, the bad, the ugly. But I am disappointed in you. I thought you’d have a little more faith.”

“You don’t get to judge me. You bit Jimin and still haven’t told us why.”

“Maybe it was to protect [Y/N].”

“Bullshit.”

Taehyung smiled to himself. “I don’t regret what I did. Not one bit.”

“He is going to die because of you. That makes you a murderer.”

“We’re all murderers, dipshit,” he said while sitting up, flashing him a smirk. “Don’t act like you’re better than any of us.”

“This is different.”

“How? The Jungs probably deserved it.”

“They were Hoseok’s family!” he barked. In a fit of frustration, his hand collided with the unforgiving bars of the cage, resonating with a resounding thud. 

“And…?”

“Hoseok mentioned he wasn’t able to contact them for months. Turns out they were murdered, don’t you think that raises some red flags in her?! They weren’t innocent, but they didn’t deserve death!”

Taehyung shrugged before lying back down with a yawn. “I don’t know what she sees in you.” 

Jungkook squeezed the cage bars tight enough that a slight creaking sound was heard. Taehyung simply rolled over on his side to have his back facing the angered boy. 

“Fuck you,” Jungkook spat. He had to get out of there before he snapped. But of course, the last cage closest to the staircase held Sunghyun, who also had something to say.

“Jungkook!” The boy was overly enthusiastic, grabbing onto the bars of the cage. “You’ve got to listen to me.”

“About what? Your latest fanfic idea? Not interested.”

Jungkook didn’t realize he made the fatal mistake of being too close to the cage. Next thing he knew, Sunghyun was grabbing him by the collar and his whole demeanor had changed.

“Please! I need your help!”

“Get off of me!” Jungkook roared, trying to pry his hands off him. Sunghyun refused to let go and pulled so hard that Jungkook slammed his face into the bars. The moment his guard was down Sunghyun slipped something in the boy’s pocket before letting go. 

Jungkook fell to the ground in a daze but quickly regained consciousness. “Son of a bitch…”

Sunghyun retreated back to the corner of his cage. “Sorry…”

The boy got up and dusted himself off, tapping his nostril to see if there was any blood. Fortunately, he was fine. His emotions on the other hand? A complete mess. He finally left the cellar to go turn.

Three days later…

Namjoon picked up his phone after hearing the first ring. “You’re cutting it close. What’s your decision?”

“She agreed to save him in exchange for full immunity from those detectives,” Yoongi stated. 

“Excellent. I’ll text them.”

“Not good enough. How do we know they’re gone?”

“They left yesterday because they were tired of waiting. I can always text them that you two came back hostile.”

“A deal’s a deal, Namjoon,” Yoongi warned. 

“Alright, alright. I won’t tell them that. You’re going to have to trust me on this one.”

“That depends. Trust goes both ways. Blow out the Flame of Imprisonment to show trust.”

Namjoon stared at the black candle flickering on top of his desk. “And why would I do that?”

“Are you stupid? How can she enter school property to save Jimin if you don’t?”

“... Fair point.”

“Come to the forest near the underground cellar when you’re done,” Yoongi instructed before ending the call. The headmaster stared at the phone, amused at how things played out. He walked over to the candle and blew it out with one quick huff. 

Upon arriving at the forest, he squinted his eyes to make sure that he was seeing things clearly in the distance. Yoongi was the only person there. Where were you?

“Where’s [Y/N]?” he called out, approaching Yoongi carefully.

“She didn’t feel safe coming here,” Yoongi replied nonchalantly with a shrug. Namjoon scoffed, glaring daggers at his old colleague. 

“You lied.”

“No. You said you needed her blood. So here it is,” Yoongi lifted his hand up to show the vial of blood you so graciously donated.

“Some trust y’all have in me...”

“Do you want it or not?” 

“I want it. But…”

“But…?”

Namjoon crossed his arms over his chest. There was a suspicious gaze in his eyes as he challenged Yoongi to do something unexpected.

“Is that really [Y/N]’s blood? What if she poisoned it? After all, she did kill people. Drink it.”

“You want me… to drink it? I’m human.”

“She not being here makes me believe something’s in it.”

“You’re being ridiculous.”

“Drink it.”

“If I drink it, there won’t be much left to cure Jimin~,” Yoongi said in a sing-songy voice.

“Just give me the damn thing,” Namjoon swiped it from him, popped off the lid, and sampled your blood. He smacked his lips rapidly, to which Yoongi was repulsed. “I don’t taste vervain… so that’s good. But why is her blood minty? Is the blood of a hybrid minty?”

“It’s minty?” Yoongi asked with faux curiosity.

“Yeah, you wanna try?”

“No. Dimwit.” 

“Why is it minty?”

“How should I know? Let’s go.” Yoongi headed for the staircase that led to the underground and Namjoon followed closely behind. When he tried inputting the passcode into the keypad, it emitted a bright red light. Confused, he attempted to put it in once more but still received the red light. 

“Stop. I changed the passcode,” Namjoon warned. “Move out of the way before you get electrocuted.”

“Since when did you change it?”

“Recently,” was all the headmaster said as the large medieval door opened.

Yoongi quickly followed him in and took note of the occupied cages. First being Taehyung’s, but the werewolf didn’t bat an eye at the professor’s being there. Next was Jimin’s and the toll from the werewolf venom was visibly evident in his physical appearance. He was unconscious and a sickly gray, the desiccation on his body being nearly complete.

However, Yoongi couldn’t help but notice Ari, who was in the cage beside him, appearing to also be in critical condition. Her eyes lost their spark, clouded with a mixture of exhaustion and pain. She could barely stand up upon the professors’ arrival.

“Is that her blood?” she asked in a hoarse voice while pointing at the vial in Professor Kim’s hand. “Thank goodness…”

“What happened to you?” Yoongi questioned.

“I’ll be fine. Heal Jimin.” It was then she began to retch black goo onto the floor, scaring the professors out of their wits.

“What the fuck is that?!” Professor Kim exclaimed. 

“[Y/N] said if Jimin died then Ari would too… It must be true.” Professor Min thought to himself.

“Go heal Jimin first,” Yoongi instructed. “She probably strained herself taking on all of the head witch’s tasks.”

Namjoon quickly opened the cage and approached the weakened vampire, lifting his head up gently to feed him your blood from the vial. Slowly but surely, the gray color of his skin transformed back to its original state from top to bottom. 

That’s when Yoongi took out the hidden syringes he had tucked in his boots. He approached Namjoon from behind and stabbed it into his neck quite violently. The headmaster clutched onto Yoongi’s hand with widened eyes before collapsing to the ground. 

“That’s for the scar you gave me,” Yoongi muttered. Next he injected another syringe into Jimin’s neck before the vampire regained consciousness. He exited their cage and looked at Ari, who was impatient and demanded to see Jimin.

“Did you give him the blood? Is he okay? He’s okay, right? Let me see him.” She grabbed onto the bars and jumped up and down like she wasn’t retching earlier.

“You’re quite exuberant…” Injecting the serum into Ari was painfully easy since she was so close to the bars. Professor Min poked the needle into her forearm and she was out like a light in seconds. He proceeded to leave the cellar by putting in the new passcode he saw Namjoon had typed. Then he used a large stone nearby to prop the door open.

“Come to the cellar when ready,” Yoongi said into his earpiece, which had been concealed with magic. After a few minutes of waiting, he saw a trio of people heading his way.

“You told me Sunghyun knew magic,” Seokjin stated with his hands on his hips. “The boy didn’t put up much of a fight. I didn’t sense any magic off of  him.”

“Did you find the amulet?” 

“No, it wasn’t on him. Jungkook had it; he teleported. [Y/N]’s getting him.”

“Good.”

“Can we lock him in the cellar now?” Hoseok complained while carrying the unconscious Sunghyun bridal-style. “He’s heavy.”

“I’ll carry him,” a chirpy voice offered.

“I got it, sis.”

“Well, they’re all knocked out except for Taehyung,” Yoongi informed.

“I’ll take care of him. It’s been a while since I’ve stabbed a werewolf.”

“Dawon, you’re scaring me,” Hoseok said with an exaggerated shudder.

“It’s Jiwoo now.”

“Right.”

Hoseok and Jiwoo entered the cellar first while Jin and Yoongi trailed behind. 

“Hey, why did you leave the cellar door open?” Jin asked Yoongi. 

“Namjoon changed the passcode. It’s—”

Yoongi was cut off when Jin suddenly tumbled down the staircase, nearly toppling Hoseok and Jiwoo over. Everyone looked up at the entrance of the cellar to see you, holding an unconscious Jungkook over your shoulder, along with a blowgun. 

“What are you doing?!” Yoongi shouted, a sense of betrayal flooding his mind. 

“Finding out the truth.”

Three blow darts propelled through the air, producing a faint swishing sound each time. The trio received the same fate as Jin as their bodies fell to the floor. You removed the stone propping the cellar door open and headed inside, trapping everyone inside with you.

“[Y/N]? Is that you?” 

You gave the werewolf a seemingly innocent smile. “Hi Tae.”

*Hss*

Hopefully you wouldn’t need any more blow darts. That was your last one.

Tag List: @horanghae18 | @gee-nee | @mrcleanheichou | @kookwolf | @hisunshiine | @ggukkieland | @veryuniquenamegoeshere | @holyhumorliteraturelight | @namjoonies-dimple | @iloverubberduckiez-blog | @mono-kookie | @monetsberet | @beingbeings |  @millie-ionaire05 | @awsome-small-k | @purpleheartsfortae | @ggsmashgg | @hopesmoon | @d-noona | @a-kookie-with-my-tae | @jooniegloomie | @hodginss | @hear-me-growl | @starlight-night0 | @music-makes-me-shine | @jkeuphoriadreamland | @mama-m0chi | @staerryminimini | @seoul9711 | @sugamonster22 | @moments-of-melancholy | @giadalin | @rageyoudamnednerd | @billboard-singer | @emmmui | @bts-sexo | @krystle1990 | @sugaslittlekookies | @laurynne5

@jksunflower | @shileh | @angellesword | @chimchoom | @demonslover | @channiespup | @bts-ruu | @doublebunv​ 

[thiswaycomessomethingwicked]

so much on Ficino & Plato & Sex

your daily Marsilio blogging continues, this time with the gentle reminder of the deep misogyny of most homoerotic anything in the medieval and early modern period (among other times as well).

At the same time, I appreciate Marsilio being like: Fuck this, we can do the Petrarchan model of Ideal Love too. Just watch me and Giovanni yearn for twenty years.

I do appreciate that in the whole of Ficino's writing he rarely, if ever, refers to sex between men as sinful. He uses terms of disgraceful, filthy, worthy of disgust, ugliness etc. but he uses those terms equally for heterosexual sex conducted for pleasure alone with no intention of making the babies. Corporality on the whole - in all its forms - is the problem. (And the contemporary medical hang-ups around the expulsion of semen aside.)

But it's still not sinful, it just makes it harder to climb the ladder of love to salvation. Some might think this a small thing (he still reads it as bad!) but there's a huge gulf of difference between a priest from 1478 saying X is disgraceful but never using the language of sin around it.

Granted, Ficino doesn't harp too much on sin in general. I would be very curious to go back in time, get him a little wine drunk, and ask him his actual, not-Church approved views.

Ficino loves trying to reconcile everything through Plato. Marsilio "What if We Applied Plato to This Situation??" Ficino.

The desire/beauty thing - you can just see his struggle in trying to make it all work and never quite succeeding. It's one of the many things he and Pico debated with great animation. Pico was anti-the physical desire part of Ficino's formula while Ficino believed salvation/finding Philosophic Truth (i.e., God) required it.

I do really love Ficino's broadly positive read on humanity. He always goes in with a: People Are Good approach to a situation.

I love this little caveats he gives in his writings. The bit: "Love, even when mixed with an inderior appetite [for sex], does not cease meanwhile to raise the soul as far as it is able."

Giovanni having a panic about the state of their souls as they lie about in the grass and Ficino thinking fast on how to assuage him. "Umm, look, this isn't ideal, and we really should try harder to resist. But ... uh... Love is Good. Right? Our Love is Good and holds no Evil, correct?'

Giovanni, 'Yes, that is correct.'

Ficino, 'Great, so because our Love is Good and our Souls naturally desire Truth and Love is always working to help raise our souls up to Truth - even when we uhhhhh slip up, shall we say--'

Giovanni, 'We purposefully went into a remote field to commit sodomy. This wasn't an accidental slip up, Marsilio. You even checked to make sure you had time enough after this to confess and seek absolution so you can say mass on Sunday.'

Ficino, 'Slipped up. Could have happened to anyone. Anyway, even when that happens Love is still raising our souls up as far as it is able. So what I'm saying is, don't worry about it.'

the knots this man will tie himself in to try and make it ok to accidentally, whoopsie daisy, sleep with men. That full quote from him on how homosexual consorting (sex, that is what he means quite literally) is part of spiritual procreation is really something else.

I also think the caveat he includes of "of course, naturally, when you're horny you should go to your wife to make sure you're doing sex Properly" is doing a lot of interesting work there.

"Giovanni and I loving each other is necessary for OUR PHYSICAL HEALTH OK??"

Technically, he's not wrong. In the sense that being able to openly and honestly love/be loved by who it is you desire - regardless their gender - is incredibly important to mental health which impacts physical health.

mess! mess! mess!

this is super interesting. That Ficino was attempting to figure out how to guide people through reciprocal love in a world where that wasn't normal to navigate.

All of Ficino's back and forth on sex, desire, beauty, love is just so telling of how much he wanted to resolve the issue and how knotted everything was for him (and he wasn't alone, obviously).

--

ok I'm done inundating everyone for now.

[keep-both-eyes-on-trump]

I grew up in a Catholic household that was by no means overly strict, but was tacitly entrenched in traditional gender roles. My mother was a homemaker. She raised the children, cleaned the house, cooked all the meals. My father worked. Church and CCD every Sunday was required and you better dress up nicely in your Sunday dress. There was no dating until you were sixteen, absolutely no sex before marriage, and cohabitation before marriage was highly frowned upon. Certain movies, TV shows, and video games were met with stark disapproval. I never had sex education, and my parents never had The Talk with me. All my knowledge about sex came from the internet which, had they known what I was googling, would have gotten my computer privileges revoked.

My parents married young, the day after my mother turned nineteen. They had three children, all daughters, I’m the middle. My father was always disappointed he hadn’t had a boy, but, to this day, neither he nor his brothers have sons of their own. 

The majority of my father’s side of the family remains fairly religious even after the death of my very devout Catholic grandfather who liked to scream at and beat his children for not following his rules or for not putting his lamp back in its exact position after they dusted. My one cousin is a missionary. Several others sing in the church choir every Sunday. They’ve relaxed a bit on gender roles. 

But a piece of information I just gave you is untrue. My parents didn’t have three children. I’m not adopted and I’m not an affair baby, but a secret third thing. I’m a separation baby. You see, when my older sister was still a toddler my father left my mother because family members convinced him she was after his money. At the time they lived in a small single wide trailer with one bedroom, on a tiny piece of land, with toxic well water from pasture runoff. 

He eventually came back before I was born, but I’m the biological child of his cousin, a man who was separated from his wife at the time with seventeen siblings from his own very Catholic family. No one talks about it since the time my mother told me at sixteen with a regretful, “I thought you knew.” It’s my and my parents' little secret. 

I talked to my therapist last week for the first time since the election. After a fair amount of time of me going on and on about Trump’s and the overall Republican victory, the direct impact it could have on my mother and I, and the deep dividing differences between my values and my very conservative family’s perspectives, my therapist asked me to think about how we are similar instead. 

And I really struggled. It’s a week later and I’m still struggling to see where our values align rather than where they diverge. It’s not all political, although it feels that way in the wake of the election. But, like with many families and friend groups, there are often deeper issues at play as well. 

For me it’s the ongoing secret that my parents and I keep from my siblings and cousins and aunts and uncles because being separated and getting pregnant with me was shameful. 

It’s the unrelenting pressure to find a good husband and start a family because that’s what a good Catholic woman should do.

It’s the shaming of women who are unmarried and have sex and want bodily autonomy. 

It’s the way my cousin talks about how disgusting queer people are because her school principal has a photo of him and his husband on his desk.

It’s the casual racism when talking about immigrants, legal or undocumented, because they don’t speak English or follow different cultural customs. 

If you’re cutting people off after this election because they voted for Trump, know that it isn’t just about politics. And if you aren’t cutting off people who voted for Trump, you can’t just brush it under the rug. There are likely values and feelings you will need to address. You may be able to find common ground if you want to, but you don’t have to. That’s your decision to make. 

Regardless of the choice you make, it’s important to connect with a community that supports you and your values. If you’re surrounded by people with vastly different values right now, it will feel lonely, but you’re not alone and your values aren’t wrong. Over 73 million people voted with you and we are still here. 

The Watcher

[magixfairyix]

S.S.S. Moment

Cause these two feed my soul. (Spoilers)

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

Darcy's POV

"Iorda?"

"Yeah?"

Now or never.

"I cursed my planet."

I didn’t look at her when the words came out of my mouth, and I was still in shock at how quickly I admitted it. But I knew that if I didn’t say it so quickly, I wouldn’t have said it at all.

Even though my eyes were at the horizon I could still feel Iorda’s gaze on me, watching and probably surprised at how out of pocket my words were. The light around us was dimming, and I felt a small amount of comfort at that through the guilt and fear that I always hated feeling.

“How… long ago?” Iorda’s soft voice was something like a dagger, tearing open the barriers that wanted to stay upright.

I pursed my lips tightly closed, pulling my knees into myself but not enough to rest my chin on top of it. More than anything, I didn’t want to seek too… hurt by this topic. 

So… impacted by it.

“I was a child,” I answered simply.

A child who had her life ruined just because she had a connection to Liliss. It could’ve happened to someone else, I think. Liliss could have chosen anyone else with a portion of her magic and given them the rest, making them a perfect tool to use.

Iorda paused once again. “And… What’s your planet?”

I wanted to tell her about the good things about Zenothe that I remembered from when I was a child. That during the day the sky was a warm gray, but when the sun set the entire area would be surrounded by an inky blackness that made it so that candles or magic lights had to be used to see.

I wanted to tell her that when it rained there, everyone would come out of their houses to enjoy the weather. I still remember racing out of the house as a child—a year before I had ruined everything I had—with my moms behind her, laughing as I turned my face up to face the rain.

“Zenothe, but…” I started, knowing the name of the planet wouldn’t do much. 

Another memory resurfaced, one of the Ancestors forcing my sisters and I to go back to Zenothe to cast a barrier spell so that no one could go in along to wipe the memories of all who remembered it. I was screaming to Liliss in anger and resentment as the three of them showed us through the spell, but I had casted it regardless.

“You… wouldn’t know it,” I finished, looking off the side and hoping that I didn’t look too bothered for it to be obvious. “Liliss helped us cast a spell. No one remembers it.”

“Except you and your sisters?” Iorda asked tentatively. 

“Yes. Icy actually made a bet with me to tell you this,” I explained.

We were silent for a while, but I knew that Iorda probably had a lot of questions flying through her head. I didn’t know how many of them I wanted—or was able—to answer. Truth be told, Icy didn’t specify how much I had to explain. I could stand up and walk away if I wanted to, but I didn’t move from my spot for a reason I couldn’t explain.

“What… happened to Zenothe?” Iorda asked, her posture becoming less tense. “No matter what it was I’m not going to—”

“I don’t want you to pity me,” I corrected, turning to look at her with a pointed look that was more calm than I wanted it to be. “I don’t care if you judge me for what happened, and if anything, I welcome it.”

“Well, I won’t do either,” Iorda said with a slow nod.

She was waiting for me to speak and wasn’t going to pry even further. That made things difficult because I had to decide what to say or not say. If she asked specific questions maybe that would have made things easier. I waited for a moment to see if she’d do so.

Silence.

Wonderful.

“I cursed it because I didn’t know what to do with my magic,” I started tightly, resisting the urge to curl into myself even though it could be a small comfort. “She…” It hurt that I couldn’t say her name at first, even though deep down I knew it wouldn’t do anything horrible if I did. “Liliss, gave me more than I could handle at the time.”

I waited for something from her. Some sort of surprise or horror, but more so surprise because I knew cursing my planet was hardly the worst thing I had done. Iorda was still silent, and I was done caring an obnoxious amount at that point, so I pulled my legs in and rested my chin on them.

“Then it wasn’t your fault…” Iorda said slowly. “It was her’s.”

I didn’t answer that.

“Did she… do it on purpose? Give you too much magic so that something bad would happen?” Iorda asked, glancing to her side at me. I could see she was looking at me, but I didn’t meet her eyes

It surprised me at first how close—not even close, she just did—she got to guessing what happened before I remembered that she herself had a short interaction with the Ancestors. Back on Ovrum—somehow, the topic once again turns to that like last time we were talking in this hellscape—she’d seen how furious the Ancestors were after Icy opened the bud of the new Tree of Life.

I repressed a shiver as I remembered how it felt to have my body possessed like that. I would’ve taken mind control even, instead of feeling by body contort and rot at having a centuries old spirit inside it.

I was so lost in thought that I didn’t realize Iorda was still waiting for an answer.

“She…” I swallowed an ache. “She knew what she was doing.”

“Darcy that’s…” Iorda said, taking a deep breath. “I’m… I’m so sorry—”

“No pity, please,” I sighed tiredly.

“It’s not pity, I—”

“It’s you feeling sorry for me because of my misfortunes,” I interrupted, my voice too worn to be angry. With a deep inhale, I moved my hair that was spilling over my shoulders to my back, standing up as I did so. “That is pity.”

What surprised me was that Iorda also stood up, leaving the bag full of crystals back on the ground. She gave one last look at the horizon before glancing behind me to where Tecna and Musa were—both of them presumably continuing their earlier tasks—before looking back at me, and the way her eyes looked sad and somehow a bit angry brought some sort of hurt.

“Because you went through something,” Iorda said plainly.

“A long time ago,” I said, forcing a shrug of indifference.

“You were a child, Darcy,” Iorda said, and the fact that she said it as if it was something I didn’t already know was annoying in a way. “You were a child who… who had to go through something like that, and…”

“Technically, you were also a child when we tried to kill you the first time,” I said matter-of-factly before realizing how that sounded, though Iorda only gave me a deadpan look.

I regretted saying anything, because now she was concerned, and I didn’t want that. At least in Icy’s case—as she had told me—Bloom quickly dropped the topic when Icy had asked her to, but unfortunately with Iorda I doubted she would give me the same sentiment. I was unsure whether I was truly annoyed at her concern, or if I just didn’t like being so revealed to her.

But I had told her.

With a sigh, I turned around. “I’m going to see if your friend needs help with the tracker.”

“No, you’re not,” Iorda said.

With a pause—the fact that she said that was a surprise on its own, and even more when I remembered how much she was being as stubborn as she was during the first year—I glanced behind me. She wasn’t glaring and she didn’t have that expression of pity.

More like genuine concern, which somehow tore me open more.

“Excuse me?” I raised a brow, my words coming across less annoyed than I wanted them to.

She stilled for a moment, and I didn’t prompt her to speak. I was surprised she didn’t let me walk away, and a part of me wondered why she was still continuing with this conversation.

“One, I wasn’t a child when you three tried to kill me. I was sixteen, and it wasn’t… it wasn’t something like having that happen to your planet,” Iorda explained after she had gotten past her silence. “The Ancestors were… shitty and they caused what happened to Zenothe. You didn’t.”

“But—”

“A child wouldn’t have been able to do anything against a basically god-like entity,” Iorda interrupted, her words gentle and not harsh. 

The point I had tried to make earlier was that I was sixteen when Zenothe fell. Iorda was also sixteen when she came to Magix, and got involved in the war of the Army of Decay. I didn’t see why she would care so much about that happening to me when, truly, she had also been through things no child deserved to go through at the time.

But I realized how innocent I was on Zenothe.

I could’ve continued going to school with my few friends, enjoying life with my family, and celebrating the large number of festivals and celebrations year after year.

I could’ve had a life like that…

“You shouldn’t have had your childhood taken away from you like that,” Iorda said, taking a slow step closer. I didn’t step away, and instead I turned around when I felt a burning in my eyes—one that was becoming too familiar—to try to bury it, because I wasn’t going to cry. “It…”

“I was…” I bit back the ache in my chest, crossing my arms in front of me with my back turned to her. “I was… sixteen. I should’ve been able to deal with that; to control the magic.”

Iorda went silent at that. I could tell she was taking in this information and connecting it, maybe to her own experiences, but I didn’t care. Or maybe I did and I just didn’t want to. My feet were planted to the ground, and I still couldn’t bring myself to walk away even as I felt a tear leak out of my eyes.

I didn’t move to wipe it away.

“That’s still a child…” Iorda said slowly.

“You were still a child,” I said, the words clawing themselves out of my throat.

I could hear Iorda take another step forwards, my back still turned to her. Part of me, the small part of me that was still damaged, welcomed this feeling of telling her. But most of myself just hated the tears and wanted to turn the topic back to herself and not me. 

There was a tentative brush at my hand, and I thought back to that time in the clearing.

I gripped her hand before I realized how much I needed it.

“You were, too,” Iorda said.

The combination of her words, the way she said them—as if she understood this, and in a way, I knew she actually did—and the pain that continued to build in my chest was something that caused something to break. I choked on a buried sob as I sighed out a trembling and uneasy breath, not realizing how my nails dug into Iorda’s hand, yet she didn’t pull away.

I moved a hand to my face to brush away tears even as more continued to fall, and it was like I could feel all the hurt of my past self screaming. She was scraping at the wall that I had always tried to put up, and each blow brought a new current of pain.

“Do you want to sit down again?” Iorda asked gently.

I forced in a breath before nodding. 

There was so much pain that I wasn’t even thinking of seeming weak. I let Iorda help me sit on the ground again—still gripping onto her hand as if it was a lifeline, because in some strange way, it was—as she sat back down next to me.

I had the thought—I wanted to—just pull my knees in to curl myself in a protected form, because maybe that would make it seem like I was still in control again and that my walls hadn’t completely shattered. But the same moment I had the thought I felt myself leaning my head against Iorda’s shoulder, and she paused for a moment before squeezing my hand reassuringly.

“I’m sorry…” I said, and my words wouldn’t have been audible if Iorda wasn’t this close.

“You’re… allowed to cry, you know,” Iorda said softly, moving her free hand to rest on my shoulder that wasn’t resting against her. “Its—”

“No I—” I said, biting back another sob. “I’m sorry for this. I ruined your life, I—” 

I knew that part was true, and the guilt hit me hard. The guilt I thought I had gotten rid of. Here I was talking about how Liliss—and, maybe, my own mistakes—led to the destruction of my planet, while I had done worse things to the girl who was somehow willing to not walk away and leave me to my sobbing state.

It was sickening.

“I ruined my own life,” Iorda insisted.

“You—”

“If I stayed at Cloud Tower, I would’ve been happier. If I used negative emotions, I would have felt like myself instead of having to fake being sure of who I am for seven years of my life,” Iorda explained, and I waited for her to pull away, while she still stayed as close as ever. “I don’t blame you.”

“I killed—”

“Yes, but I’m alive,” Iorda interrupted, and part of me felt like strangling her for how much she was doing it and how I knew she was right on all accounts deep down. “Just… focus on you, okay?”

I opened my mouth to talk against what she said once more before I bit my lip to bury another ache, gripping her hand tighter as I let out a shuddering sob. Dragon, I didn’t remember the last time I had cried this much. It hurt, but at the same time, getting comfort like this was a feeling I was learning not to hate as much as I did when she first held my hand.

I knew she wasn’t going to let me blame myself or walk away, so I felt my tense body relax as her hand moved across my shoulder repeatedly. My nails dug into her hand a little less as I found the ability to breathe clearly again, but I didn’t want to move away from this.

“What…” I breathed out slowly, moving my thumb absently across her hand, my head still against her shoulder. “What were you going to do, before you came to Magix?”

Iorda paused, still continuing the small movement of her hand as she looked back at the sky. “I actually wanted to study psychology. Become a therapist or something like that.”

I snorted, half smiling. “You’d be good at that.”

“I’m glad, thanks,” Iorda said, and although I was still looking down at the ground, I could guess that she would be smiling slightly. “What did you want to do?”

I paused slightly. At sixteen I didn’t have a clear idea of what I wanted to do in life, and if anything, I was simply focused on trying to get my magic under wraps and help out my moms and their friends in their unstructured coven—healers, and potion makers—as much as I could. But a fond member I had was sitting at the kitchen table, absorbing books of older forms of witchcraft.

“I… didn’t know,” I answered tiredly. “I researched some about old witchcraft, and that was as much of a passion for something I had back then.” There was a pause, and I briefly felt some confusion coming from Iorda. “The kind you would have practiced on Earth.”

Iorda paused before sitting up straighter, and I leaned away from her—the small part inside me missed the physical comfort—and took my grip away from her hand. She narrowed her eyes at the horizon before glancing at me with a half smile.

“Well, I still need to track Cloud Tower,” Iorda said before gesturing to her bag of crystals. “Anything about old witchcraft that you know that would come in useful?”

I knew her intentions behind what she was doing, and I gave her a half amused and half annoyed look. “If you’re asking me this because of pity—” 

“We need to track Cloud Tower, you know what you’re doing,” Iorda said, giving me a half smile. She crossed her legs over themselves. “Tecna is still working on the tracker, so I need all the help and knowledge that I can get.”

I could tell she was purposefully bringing about this conversation, even if she did truly need help with tracking Cloud Tower. Tecna couldn’t help her, and I doubt Musa’s knowledge of witchcraft was enough—if she had any, for that matter. Deep down, it felt sort of pleasant in a way. Being asked to help in a situation where it is needed.

The small glimmer in her eyes reminded me of the few times we had non murder-intented banter in the past, and I felt the remaining ache in my chest leave before I gave her a half smirk. “Well, now you’re just stroking my ego at this point.”

“Good,” Iorda said, returning my half smirk. “But first…”

She reached inside her back for a moment—and I paused, confused about what she was planning to do—and rummaged around until she grabbed something. I watched as she pulled a small crystal out of the bag, something that I recognized as a small, sharply cut stone of pink tourmaline. 

Iorda placed the stone in between us before glancing up. “To us healing from the past.”

It was as if we were having a toast of some sorts, and in some way, it was. She was speaking in a language both of us understood; one of having experienced past events of pain and the deep wounds that come with that, and the need to heal. Part of me still felt like I could’ve done more to stop what Liliss did to Zenothe, but…

I gave a smile that was somehow not forced as I placed my hand on the crystal. “To us healing from the past.” 

This wasn’t typical magic of summoning and casting, creating something out of thin air. It was something that was intuitive and smaller, channeling our intentions into something usually so small and insignificant to most.

I remembered what I saw in the doorway before Aria and her sisters had appeared. My sisters and everyone else in Magix City under the night sky, laughing and smiling, and deep in my eyes I could tell that I was happy. It was reassuring.

That if the doors were right, I would heal

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

Half an hour later there were two stones clutched in Iorda’s hand, one for receiving in the left hand, and one for giving in the right. Labradorite and amethyst respectively, the first to connect Iorda to Cloud Tower’s energy, and the latter to increase her psychic magic to lend it outwards to the school to communicate with it.

“Do you know what the psychic space is?” I asked, still seated next to her.

She was sitting with her legs crossed over each other, eyes closed to block out any distractions. Her eyebrows were pressed downwards in focus, her body steadily rising and falling with every slow and constant breath. It was good that she knew how to do that much, because otherwise getting focused would be more than difficult.

“The outside area between your mind and someone else’s,” Iorda finished, eyes still closed as she spoke. “Where psychic magic moves across.”

“Exactly,” I said, one of my arms hanging over my knee. “You have to reach over that space in order to find Cloud Tower, and keep the focus you have while doing that.”

Iorda breathed in slowly. “Negative emotions?”

I could tell from her voice that she was hesitant, because up until now she had little to no luck in using negative emotions to track Cloud Tower. It would’ve seemed useless, though I had to wonder about how much of it was because of her inexperience, or if it was because of her hesitance.

“Yes,” I answered. “Your main emotion is vengeance right?”

Iorda’s steady breathing paused for a moment as she slightly opened her left eye, looking at me quizzically. She wondered how I knew that, and I gave her a half smile in response.

“You were very close to killing me during that situation with Kalshara,” I responded, not with irritation. “It was hardly something difficult to figure out when you had murder in your eyes.”

Iorda snorted slightly. “I—”

“Keep focusing,” I interrupted, smirking slightly as Iorda rolled her eyes with a small smile before closing them again. “Anyways, yes, your magic will work better if you use vengeance for an emotion instead of whatever you have been forcing yourself to use for the past seven years.”

“Fulfillment,” Iorda answered.

“Sounds depressing, but stop talking,” I said, and the corners of Iorda’s lips tilted up again in a small smile of amusement. “You have to focus.”

This somehow felt easy, even with the circumstances that we had to find Cloud Tower. There were so many people in there who would be confused and frightened about what happened. I briefly think that they’ll probably be even more terrified if my sisters and I showed up again, but as long as we could at least communicate with Griffin about the Shaman Witch that would be a possibly beneficial situation.

“You asked me a question,” Iorda mumbled humorously before I saw her breathing rising again at a constant pace again.

“An open-ended statement,” I corrected with a small bit of amusement in my voice, before I decided to focus on the task at hand. She didn’t respond to that, and I could tell that she was focusing again. “Focus as much as you can on that vengeance; who you want to hurt, or pay.”

Iorda opened her mouth to speak before stopping herself, but I could tell that she was probably thinking of the Shaman Witch based on how her hands clenched tighter around the two crystals. She breathed in again, her pace less constant, before it evened out again.

“That vengeance isn’t going to hurt you,” I reassured.

“I know—”

“Focus,” I reminded calmly, and Iorda breathed in shakily for a moment before her shoulders relaxed. She hadn’t used negative emotions in this long, and with what she said about feeling like being in her past self’s body, I could understand why she was hesitant. “Tell me when you’ve found it.”

She would’ve known I didn’t mean Cloud Tower and that I meant when she finds a hold on her vengeance. If her dedication to it is fleeting, her psychic magic would act the same away. To keep up a spell across the psychic space between herself and Cloud Tower up for so long would take more focus than usual.

A moment passed, and I briefly felt when she found a hold on her need for vengeance; quicker than I expected her to find it. There was anger, and a need inside her to make the Shaman Witch pay for what she did to her.

“You’ve found it?”

She nodded.

“Imagine the energy of the labradorite moving into you, and the amethyst moving out,” I continued to explain. “And when you can focus on that without thinking, imagine your psychic magic forming a thread.”

Iorda’s breathing became only slightly labored as she gripped the crystals tighter.

“Relax,” I reminded. “Your psychic magic won’t respond unless you do.”

It took a bit longer until I could see Iorda physically relax again, her breathing becoming deeper and fuller. Calmer. It was clear she was regaining focus. Then her shoulders relaxed and her eyebrows became less furrowed, with a small content smile going across her face. I knew that she was focused and calm enough in order to form a connection with her own psychic magic.

I smiled slightly to myself, knowing how long it must’ve been since she used that side of her powers, and deep down, there was a small sense of pride. After all these years she was willing to use the emotions she was meant to use, and to use her psychic magic that she seemed hesitant to reach.

“Imagine that thread reaching out, and find Cloud Tower,” I said, and Iorda pursed her lips slightly at that. “You know what it feels like, so find it. You learned there. It appreciates your presence. You’re going to find it.”

I was concerned for a moment that my encouragement came off too harsh—even though I knew without self-assurance it would be impossible for her to track the school—but it seemed to work as I felt her psychic magic increase. It was something I didn’t even have to focus to feel, though then again, it wasn’t as if I was putting up active barriers in my mind at that moment.

Iorda continued to focus, and I kept myself silent.

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

About fifteen minutes of silence passed, and Iorda was still as focused as she was when she started reaching out with her magic. She was as still as a statue besides her breathing, and I took that as a good thing.

Her eyes flickered open.

“What is it?” I asked, voice rising in anticipation.

“I…” Iorda started, eyes widening slightly in disbelief. “I… found it.”

I felt rope rise within me. It wasn’t as if I doubted that Iorda would find it, but I didn’t think she’d do it this quickly and successfully, knowing how bad our luck had been lately. She let go of the crystals in her hands and placed them on the ground, slowly breathing in as she got out of the meditative state.

“You found Cloud Tower?” I questioned, eyes widening.

“Y-yes I—” Iorda said, smiling as she quickly stood up. She gestured to the right of the horizon, stuffing the crystals back in her bag that she swung over her shoulder. “It’s that way! But dragon, I actually found it!”

I chuckled slightly as I stood up. “I never doubted you.”

Iorda narrowed her eyes at the horizon where she had gestured to, practically shaking from excitement. This would have been the first time she used her psychic magic with negative emotions in a while, and to see her so happy over this was heartwarming in a way.

“Thank you,” Iorda turned towards me, smiling. “Thank you so, so much, you have no idea.”

I paused slightly, mildly put off by that. Not the way she was thanking me—I knew it did help her with the spell and focusing, even though most of that was on her own accord—but of how… appreciative she looked. It wasn’t an expression I was used to seeing.

“It…” I said, shrugging. “It’s fine, I—”

I expected a lot of things. For Iorda to move on and race over to tell Tecna and Musa about the newfound information, for her to see through my dismissal and argue against it, but what I didn’t expect was for her to take a step forwards and hug me of all things.

It was loose enough that I could’ve pulled away, her arms only softly wrapping around me, but I surprised myself when I didn’t. For a moment it was if all the guilt suddenly left, because Iorda was fucking hugging of all things me when I’ve tried to kill her before. She seemed to relax a bit more when she realized I wasn’t—somehow, for some reason—annoyed or tensing at the gesture.

Instead, I leaned into the embrace. 

It felt like I needed it.

Maybe even for years. 

“Thank you…” Iorda said, her voice barely a whisper.

I listened to the tone of her voice carefully. It was a mix of relief and something of acceptance. I realized that after years of pretending to be someone else this must’ve been such a breath of fresh air for her, as if coming out of water and finally being able to breathe.

It was something of an honor to be a part of that.

“Anytime,” I said in the same soft tone, pulling back slowly from the embrace and resisting the urge to make it last longer than it needed to be. I half smiled, and part of me felt how, unlike the others, this one was forced. “Now, let's go tell Tecna and Musa.”

Iorda nodded before turning and walking towards where Tecna and Musa were seated—the latter seemingly giving up on watching enemies that were absent. I paused for a moment, breathing in deeply as I moved my hair behind her shoulders before I followed.

Musa and Tecna stood up immediately when we walked over, the latter holding the tracker that had a few more buttons and wires added than the last time I saw it. Of course, it had been almost an hour since I left to see how well Iorda was faring.

“Did you find it?” Musa questioned, eyes widening.

“Yes!” Iorda smiled, and Musa let out a cheer of excitement as she tightly hugged Iorda. “It’s just towards where the thin patch of cloud is, and I don’t think it's too far.”

I smiled slightly as I walked next to Tecna, her watching the exchange with an excited look on her face. If things went well by the tracker, then she could communicate to the other group our location so that they could follow us.

“Did things go well?” Tecna asked, glancing to her side at me.

I paused for a moment. “I think so.”