#but i do think her influence is reflected in most things he does and idk if that's true for most companions in that big of an extent

[dylanlila]

if rose fans can keep going about the doctor's devotion to rose persisting throughout multiple regenerations i can blabber about amy being his truest love although i don't entirely believe that but. he did say fish fingers and custard was his favourite still.

[desire-mona]

randomly assigning house md characters internet moments / videos / memories / whatever i remember based off nothing at all (i did i dps version too) (also links for everything i talk about will be provided) (also also this isnt made to make fun of anyone involved in any of this)

house - mr beast and his OLD OLD youtube videos, like circa 2015? i think? he used to make cringe compilations essentially where he just made fun of kids' youtube intros. face and all like nothing was blurred for privacy, and then he'd call them cringe and make drinking bleach jokes. like a LOT. i binge watched those back in like 4th grade i think? maybe 5th? so thats kinda all i associate him with now. he also made videos where he would say a word like a thousand times, sometimes WAY more (like 100k+). or like. count to that number, he did both. anyway rip house you wouldve loved making fun of kids' youtube videos

wilson - does anyone remember the evian baby commercials? i think the whole shtick was like "this water makes you feel young again" I THINK? the one i linked was the one where the reflection on a building makes ppl babies, but theres one where babies are on roller skates or whatever too. this isnt entirely an internet moment as much as it is just a memory, cuz i remember my mom and my aunt DYING laughing at these commercials. idk what it was they were just in tears. theres something so 2007-2015 about dancing babies. wasnt a dancing baby the first internet meme? just googled it and yes it was.

cuddy - onision's shitty spoken word songs PLEASE tell me someone remembers them. onision really shouldve stopped trying to make music after the banana song bc the rest really suck shit. this is NOT based on vibes i gotta get that out there, i was like hmm cuddy has a kid. you know who else has a kid? YOU KNOW WHO LET THEIR KID FALL OUT OF A WINDOW? cuddy would fucking HATE onision. ALSO OH MY GOD PAUSE EVERYTHING ONISION JUST UPLOADED A SONG. I NEED TO MAKE A SEPERATE POST ABOUT THIS RIGHT NOW WHAT THE HELL. anyway dont watch it. i linked strange æon's video on his music just bc i really dont wanna direct u to anything of his directly. did u know i dont like onision?

foreman - the most insane youtube poop ive ever seen in all of my 19 years of living, i sent this to maddie specifically when i made my initial "like for a rando internet moment!" post but i really need to share it with the general public. general warning for youtube poop-ness; flash, loud noises, overwhelming, etc. i am actually begging you to watch this because it tops every other ytp ive ever seen, like actually blows it out of the water. i also has no idea ppl still made ytps after 2014 tbh.... btw this is probably the only ytp that i'll ever recommend LMAO

chase - OH MY GOD KYLERLOVESJESUS. so basically this one eboy influencer type on tiktok back in 2019 Found God and went on rants about how abortion is wrong and gay marriage is bad and blah blah blah. there was this moment on one of his lives where he went "i love gay people, i would be best friends with a gay person. do i support it? no." which was the FUNNIEST shit back in the day. i would quote it on the daily. btw the editing of the video i linked is VERY of the time so beware LMAO

cameron - cutie the kitten (sans' wife and gf) + the killing videos sans fan girls would make. i actually cant link anything bc the channel doesnt exist anymore but! basically back in 2016ish there was this one girl who had such a crush on sans and she had a whole ocxcanon situation with sans and her pink cat oc Cutie. a lot of ppl hated her + the ppl who had ocs shipped with sans but looking back its truly not a big deal. what is a big deal is that she (? maybe?) and other sans fangirls would make animated slideshow videos of their ocs using powers or whatever to kill other sans fangirls. like brutally. it was a wild time i wish cutie's channel was still up so i could prove thats a real thing, but ask an undertale fan from back then and odds are theyll know. heres a sans fangirl cringe compilation so you kinda know what im talking about, but fair warning it is a cringe compilation so. it wont be nice.

thirteen - TW INCEST!! this one hamilton animatic i saw back in forever ago to the song 'helpless'. usually animatics to that song use eliza and hamilton (im not a hamilton fan this is very surface lvl knowledge btw) but the one i saw was eliza and ANGELICA. like as in HER SISTER. big surprise someone in a big fandom ships incest wow I KNOW its tame compared to other shit, but it was i think my first exposure to anything like that circa 2017ish, so it kinda stuck in the brain. also the video i linked isnt the og its a phil collins mashup, the og got taken down. hamilton always makes an appearance in my house posts doesnt it, be lucky i didnt give kutner this one bc ppl were turn up abt hamilton fan kutner.

taub - WHAT DO YALL KNOW ABOUT MIKE AND MELISSA ⁉️⁉️ basically mike and melissa is this animated passion project this guy made to show himself (or his persona? or maybe just some guy) falling in love with his fursona that comes to life. this was the only episode this guy uploaded and i think he kinda disappeared after. the plot is kinda hard to follow and its not TERRIBLY animated but its certainly not professional looking. there's a video about what happened to him uploaded like 5 months ago, but i havent watched it. when i first heard of mike n melissa i fully thought it was a mid 2000s family sitcom but it definitely Is Not That.

kutner - undertale sans au christmas party comic dub. i probably dont need to give an explanation as to what sans aus are but idk how many ex or current undertale fans follow me so i'll do it anyway. making au's for undertale was a pretty common practice back in its early days, and usually the most popular character in any undertale variation is sans. who sans is shipped with was always up in the air, so much like the onceler, ppl ended up shipping sans with other au versions of himself. this christmas party comic is in my mind the undertale fandom equivalent of camp weehawken. i think there was also a sans au comic where all the sans' except for like 2 were toddlers at daycare? i dont remember who the adult sans' were but also i think the creator got into hot water? dont remember why.

[bonefall]

hey, can i ask what your doing with sandstorm ? she’s one of my favorites in canon.

i know in better bones she’s not romantic with fireheart (bc he’s aro and that’s awesome heck yea) but he honor sires and co-parents with her. Also she’s redtail and runningflights kid and longtails sister, but i’d like to know more about her?

A thing i actually like about her that most people don’t is her sudden turn to being nice to fireheart, i mean, part of it anyways. i don’t like that in canon fireheart is just like “oh she’s nice now. hot” and doesn’t talk to her about it at all. BUT i do like that she decides to be nice to fireheart. that it’s character progression she does on her own, that it surprises fireheart.

I love the idea that as she got older, she had a moment where she realized that her animosity towards fireheart wasn’t really warranted (since she gets annoyed with how bb!dustpelt acts towards him too, maybe that’s a turing point for her here), that she dealt with her issues through self reflection, without fireheart noticing. I like the idea that she worked out most of her issues without talking to him, through her own strength, and then talks to him, apologizing and explaining why she acted like she did. and i think the catalyst, aside from dustpelt, shouldn’t be some moment like “he saves her in battle” it should just be some small act that he doesn’t even remember, that sets it all off, like giving someone their favorite food after they’ve had a really bad day, something small like that

idk i just really like sandstorm being able to deal with her issues on her own strength, showing how she’s matured, sorry for the wall of text lol

I feel you totally, this is all stuff I like about her too

100% of my problems with canon Sandstorm come from her mateship with Firestar, and the way the Erins write downright insufferable romance. I can't even have the satisfaction of being harsh towards FireSand, because it's one of the best in the cesspool of canon warrior ships.

She's great in Fire and Ice though! Something I really like about that book is how Fireheart is struggling with the question of if Clan life is really worth it, between Graystripe's distancing, the murder plot thickening, and still not fully fitting in with ThunderClan. Sandstorm is an extension of the entire Clan warming up to him, as he finally finds his place.

And something else I love, and think the romance plot gets in the way of, is how Sandstorm has her own mind and opinions. She's actually quite "traditionalist," distrustful of outsiders and unwilling to defy Bluestar’s will to stop war with WindClan. I like this about her! I think it's interesting that she isn't just Fireheart's waifu!

And that's the role I want her to have in Better Bones. She ALWAYS thinks for herself. She's an introspective and serious cat, a lot like her dad Redtail. Losing him was devastating to her, but she eventually asked herself: why DO I act like this towards Fireheart? Does he actually deserve it?

Eventually, her and Firestar are deep friends. See, Longtail is Firestar's DEPUTY, he doesn't go to him when he has a weird dream, he doesn't go for a walk in the woods and pop some rowanberries with him, he doesn't tell him about that time he tried to date Onewhisker. That's what he does with Sandstorm.

And eventually she wanted kits, and felt like doing that with her best friend was the best option. He'd raise furballs if it wasn't for her balancing his influence out.

But that aside, I enjoy her as a reliable but not ambitious warrior. She's close with her brother Longtail, lifelong friends with Dustpelt after he comes around, and a great mentor to Sorreltail

[snoopysfriendwoodstock]

midnights truthers rise. her absolute worst album. so mediocre, nothing but a collection of vault tracks (derogatory). may she move on from jack antanoff forever, i'm begging on my knees. what made folklore/evermore so 100/100 (except from closure, iykyk) was aaron. he pushed her and it showed. jack keeps her stuck in 2014. who knows how quickly her next album will come out, i hope she does something so different, i'm tired of jack's influence and her mediocre pop lyrics. i still cannot believe she really wrote 'cat eye sharp enough to kill a man' at her age and in the year 2023. i remain shocked.

something else i've been thinking: the fast turnover. maybe that's the problem? such quick production, album after album after album...and it's reflected in the quality of the work? what do u think? maybe she needs to take a few years off and i'm so serious, i would wait even 3+ years for a GREAT album and not just another ok one.

i also don’t love jacks influence but i wonder if it’s less of his production that does damage and more of him being a yes man? totally speculative. it’s weird bc there are songs i LOVE his production on and songs i HATE. i LOVE norman fucking rockwell and melodrama. HATE midnights & lover for the most part. maybe it’s the fact that he and taylor sort of built her pop sound together but jack has come into other artists songs where they already have a clear identity? idk! i think abt this all the time. aaron absolutely pushes her to make better art and i wonder if it’s bc he’s very much of the scene of people she wants to impress/the people who are usually most critical of her work but he’s clearly so supportive? his work on the speak now tv tracks is IMMACULATE!

honestly idk about the turnover. i feel like she’s always written this prolifically and is now more in charge of her own work and doesn’t have to be stuck in an album cycle the way she used to be. i also think the turnover is from covid since she wasn’t releasing albums and anticipating a tour or anything. i like getting new music so frequently, but i can see the argument. i imagine after the eras tour we’ll return to the two year album cycle like what happened with rep/lover but maybe she feels happier releasing things as she writes them? i think part of the problem is that she wants it to be the 1989 era again imo. now that she’s blown that success out of the water, i wonder if she’ll stop chasing that success? but midnights sold soooo much so i fear we’re stuck w it. i think Taylor is at her best when she has something to prove. speak now is incredible and she wanted to prove she really wrote her songs, fearless is amazing and it was her making herself known as an artist, 1989 is a pretty perfect pop album and it was her trying to prove herself as a popstar, folklore is incredible and it was her trying out a new sound + doing no promo for an album… idk! i think she needs to try a new sound again, really want to achieve something besides chart status and sales

[otogariado]

can't stop thinking about that post mentioning how "jimmy feels like he is owed things"... i've been rewatching s1 with a friend and i still maintain the first impression i had when i watched it for the first time. jimmy is a guy who's so painfully trying to do the right thing but he just keeps getting screwed over whenever he does, getting punished instead of rewarded. and that just doesn't work for a person like jimmy who's internalized the need to "win" and "not be a sucker" since he was a kid by seeing how his dad and his dad's kindness and empathy specifically got taken advantage of. (a kindness and empathy that jimmy is shown to similarly share himself.) he's a guy who thrives on reward and validation.

and this is the most crushing thing about the reveal, the betrayal at the end of the season. jimmy thinks the world of chuck and his brother basically giving him a second chance is his main driving force to do things right. he spends ten years having a solid record, working hard and not getting himself into trouble, and eventually kim also becomes another person that strongly influences him for the better. he pursues the law because of chuck and kim. jimmy was trying to do things right, to keep his head above water (above board), and a big part of it was because he wanted his brother to be proud of him. but HHM doesn't hire him anyway, despite how much he worked his ass off to pass the bar and get his license. "no one ever accused you of being lazy... every other sin in the book, but not that one."

the betrayal cuts deep. jimmy deserved a chance to at least be properly considered by HHM as a potential employee, and cry about nepotism as they may in "chicanery", if only chuck had given jimmy a chance, this chance to prove himself—then maybe he wouldn't have gone back to resorting to questionable habits. to jimmy, he worked his ass off and still gained nothing from it. after he gets rejected by HHM i don't think much time passes until the start of the show and we see how demeaning his job can get sometimes.

it's not just his job or his relationship with chuck, though. "god forbid you have an office with me." this is a guy who's made big leaps in acts of love, even though kim hasn't witnessed some of it herself. (he did everything he did with the kettlemans to help her get her clients back. he pulled the ol' switcheroo on the mesa verde address to, again, help her get her client back. he left this job because at that point he only thing he really wanted was to work with her in their office. he doesn't like working with/under other people, especially when they feel stifling to him.) at that moment, he feels like he's owed an office—a "real" one, a joint practice and not just some shared office-but-separate practices thing. his insecurities tell him he's not good enough for her otherwise if there's not this big tangible proof of it. (and this is why that moment stings a lot for kim, because similarly, she's been sticking out for him—standing up to howard, standing up to chuck, standing up to suzanne... all people who belittled him, and she sticks out for him because she believes in him. and because she loves him.)

idk how to conclude this post i've just been thinking a lot about "jimmy feeling like he's owed things"... this isn't me condemning him for it or anything it's just more of a post trying to observe things from his perspective. (and as such some stuff i point out in this post doesn't necessarily have to reflect my perspective. although ftr i don't think being driven by rewards is necessarily a bad thing. everybody's just trying to find their own motivation to get through life, yo.)

[symptoms-syndrome]

How bout 3, 9 and 12? 💛

Hi Bunny!!!

3. How do you figure out who you are in the moment?

It depends! Sometimes I can Just Tell, sometimes I go "hey, what's my name RN?" and sometimes someone else inside tells me. Most of the time I don't track it or anything so it isn't super relevant or super important to know all the time. Which is thinkkk is good but I also think I need to be a little more mindful about it. Probably??? IDK! I just usually know when I'm me bc I'm me! It's intuitive a lot of the time.

9. If you have OCs(original characters), do your parts have any influence on them? Alternatively, if you’re creative in general, do they have any influence?

LMAO u sent this one in on purpose w the timing...........

This is sorta complicated bc I don't totally know!!! I think? But I'm not 100% sure of the details. I have a bunch of OCs and I think parts have some influence but they're sort of a collective creation of many years, PLUS the fact that my friend(s) also influence them! Like I'll be like "hmm I think Jakob would be bad at cooking" and my friends will add in like "yeah I bet he gets a lot of cheap takeout" y'know? Collaboration type stuff. Ofc sometimes I'm like "hmm that doesn't feel right" and my friends are cool w that too.

I do think that parts influence my OCs more than I'm consciously aware of, if that makes sense, but not necessarily because of Parts Reasons but a lot because I consider my OCs to be reflections of myself in a way? Like I put little pieces of myself into all my OCs and then they just kinda grow on that like crystals or pearls. Like for Jakob, who's a cool demon guy, he was sorta made with a little piece of how I used to be really worried about my masculinity. And then he grew on that into a fully developed character. Sometimes that doesn't work though, I'll have an OC that I just can't get to grow on that seed that I gave, and that's okay too.

Does that make sense? I hope it does. I really love all my OCs, even the ones that are bad people LMAO. I'm really proud of the way I can develop a deep and interesting character!

12. Do any of your parts have special relationships with each other? Would you like to share about some?

Umm I mentioned that I think Seba and Runaway are friends. I think they are but I'm not sure, they were at a previous time in my life bc they were the main ppl who were around. I think Runaway thought he was a ghost at first and Seba was like "IDK maybe" but they talked a lot. And he can get through to her easier than the rest of us but he's real serious about keeping her secrets so it's not like he relays anything really I just know they talk.

I also think I said this before maybe but I was rly surprised that Tomas and Aslan (one of our little little parts) get along really well. I didn't peg Tomas as a fatherly type but like. IDK he's good at taking care of him. When I did the whole visualizing a meeting spot thing for the first time they were the only ones who showed up, and when it was time to go back to the safe space Tomas carried him back which is cute!

[jentlemahae]

he has a face only a mother could love damn you are brutal 😭😭😭 he obviously isn't the most handsome man but that's really mean. i highly doubt lisa is with him for the money as she herself got million dollar offers from several companies and is highly demanded and popular. obviously idk their relationship but i don't think lisa would be with someone who doesn't treat her well and they did meet through her working with luxury brands so it's not like she specifically went after him or smth it really seems like they are genuinely fond of each other and as long as he makes her happy that's all that should matter. but i also hope lisa will make wise choices concerning her career bc limiting it to France when she is soooo popular all over the world would be ridiculous. hopefully she finds the right people to work with or opens her own company as well who knows she hasn't made any announcements yet maybe she's just enjoying some time off now while still looking for the right company we don't know. but i also hope she's not being influenced too much by his family i'm also confused about the book deal... like wouldn’t be better to first establish yourself more as a solo artist and release music before releasing a book?? i just hope lisa knows what she's doing but she looked very happy at the gala in paris and at the end of the day she has to know what's best for her and we can only hope her judgment is not being clouded by that rich family

yeah i am sure she doesn’t care about how much money he has and he is most likely very nice, treats her well, and so on! but the thing that i was saying is that as fans, we don’t actually know if he’s very nice and treats her well, so — as he’s not the most objectively handsome man in the world — when fans say he’s a catch and she got the best man ever, to me it feels iffy bcs it’s apparent that they’re saying it just bcs he has money, which insinuates that lisa should be with a man just bcs he is rich, which is a very weird thing to say about a woman 🥴

i also hope she’s happy and is just a few gigs in france here and there during her well-deserved time off, and won’t continue limiting herself to only france and his family in the future! and tbh that’s all we can do bcs we can’t make her leave him or something, so i think we can just hope she wisely reflects upon her decision and does so independently and freely (ie without his family)

[potatoesandsunshine]

hi anna!! 7, 8, 11, 17, and of course, 9 i love to quote lines and i know u also love to do this and now is ur chance <3

hi abby!!!!

7. What’s a troupe you love to write?

i’m not really sure how to answer this one! i guess if i took a really broad view of it what i like writing about best is characters knowing they’re making bad choices and then still doing it (this is basically the whole point of she moves through moonbeams slowly and your skin, wearing thin which are probably my favorite two things i’ve published this year). it’s kinda easier to think about what i don’t have a lot of interest in writing—namely any ‘fix-it’ fics. i as a writer have moved beyond the urge to write fix-it fic. consequences are so much more fun.

8. What kind of document do you use to write? Microsoft Word? Google Docs? Straight in the AO3 text box?

google docs—and idk if you’ve seen that post going around lately about their suggestions/corrections getting worse but i agree with it. they are getting worse. but i simply will not pay for microsoft office

11. How many words do you have on AO3 (if you use that platform)

430,707! wow, that feels like a lot!!

17. Are there any writers and/or stories that you consider an influence? 

not really specifically! i have a lot of stories and authors that i would recommend to other people, but not really ones i consider touchstones for me as a writer. i guess the closest thing lately has been discworld but it feels way pretentious to call that an influence? i’m just a really big fan? but reading these books is such a good reminder that writing can be funny.

9. What’s your favorite line(s) or scene(s) that you have written? 

yeah i’m gonna do a bunch of these

“Astrid in Nicodranas, who drinks from a tea service that doesn’t have a single piece in common with itself, doesn’t think about the dignity of her station at all. She thinks about the price of fish at the market, about the cool breeze blowing over the water, about a cantrip for making letters weatherproof. And if she wants to wear a red hat with a wide brim that dangles with silver stars, paired with a cloak that’s pine green and a shirt that’s sky blue and pants that are patched at the knees and socks that are purple and orange respectively, well. She has no reason not to.” from feel the ground beneath your feet turn into the sky. i wrote this fic out of what a commenter correctly divined was a wish for astrid to have a “crazy bitch gone girl redemption arc moment”. she could outdress howls movingcastle if she wanted. and she should have everything she wants. i know i just talked about how much i love consequences and stuff but once in a while maybe a character should commit arson and murder and then run away to a seaside town and become The Wizard there. have we considered that.

“Raishan purrs with pleasure, smoke dripping lazily from her mouth. She turns her gaze to the focus and takes the speaker in: it’s one of the small things, with hair like flame and horns like a young wyrm’s first set. And it is draped in green: her color, poison and rot and sick smoke, the lovely gleam of her scales in the dark.” from you are coming down with me. raishan can always be 5% hornier and 10% more obsessive than she is in canon it is always correct for a dragon to be so.

“He sighs loudly, rising and stretching hugely, not even bothering to fix his robes as he walks past her. But as he goes he pauses, setting a hand on the back of her chair, close enough for her to feel the heat of him. She doesn’t look up—but she does tilt the datapad so she can catch his reflection.” from your skin, wearing thin. this story is about two people who hate each other so much but have so much history there’s never gonna be any escaping it. this marriage is a black hole and their good friend is going to be spaghettified in one of the most toxic threeways coruscant has ever seen. first time i wrote about star wars and it was just me arguing that they should make this relationship worse by adding another person (and i’m right). perrin is being honest for once in his life because it hurts mon more than lying would. she needs to see him through the reflection; it’s like a filter between herself and reality.

“It’s the kind of spell that only looks simple to amateurs. From Vivian’s lungs comes a falcon of night-blue feathers, the tips of which gleam with stars. It soars above the gathered guests, chirruping and crying and showing everyone—Vivian Kensington can make magic move, make it speak, make it beautiful.” from like flowers and blue skies. i have a pretty hard time with descriptions sometimes, and i’m really proud of this one! i feel like everything in this fic that had to do with Vivian and stars turned out well, but this is the point in the story where the magic felt most like magic to me.

“She’s a sort of placeholder for Keyleth, she thinks, which would be infuriating if it weren’t so very useful. Every minute Raishan spends with her gaze fixed on Cassandra’s cut throat is a minute she isn’t murdering everyone in Whitestone. But the distraction...

There’s a little bit of a whisper, a bug in her ear, that tremendous instinct that drives mortals to steal fire and challenge gods rising up and saying: well, why shouldn’t I do the worst possible thing?” from she moves through moonbeams slowly. there’s something to be said for sheer audacity.

[ursie]

genuine question: if devin wrote dick as romani in a hurtful way, why does fandom seem so intent to keeping him romani while decrying the writer that made him romani in the first place? like, if it came from such racist/hurtful archetypes then why cling to it so much? (in contrast, i've seen people say that headcanoning tim as asian is bad because of sterotypes, which is why i don't understand the difference.) i barely read past the 80s comics i grew up with, i just read a ton of fandom arguments and the contrast between "dick IS romani" vs "tim ISN'T asian" is like. i don't understand it? i know fandom isn't a monolith but there are trends overall. idk, i figured you seemed like a "safe" person to ask this question in good faith. hope it doesn't upset you! thanks for taking the time to read and/or answer this. <3

Ok so the thing is bad rep is worse than no rep-yes but erasure is worse too so the solution isn’t to erase but to fix it and there has been genuine effort in canon and by Romani people in the fandom to address Dicks rep. While it’s undeniably rooted in some stereotypes there’s also no denying how important Dicks character is. He’s undeniably the most popular Roma character of all time and that’s an issue when people won’t acknowledge he’s Roma. He’s multifaceted and smart and brave and complicated and undeniably good ect these are really good characteristics for any character let alone one to represent any group of people. The best thing dc could do is either hire Roma writers (or Roma editors/sensitivity readers/ect) they need Roma people in the workroom not less Roma characters in comics. Because at the end of the day If we wait for perfect rep before we acknowledge it we’re not going to get it and that goes for any marginalized identity. People cannot know other’s peoples lived experience-which is why we need to push for our voices in the room. Almost all the diverse characters in comics nowadays started as stereotypes and were stereotypes til someone said no and chose to do the work so they could write them better or at least try-that’s what needs to be done. I think it’s funny (and this isn’t at you) that with Dick given his importance given his cultural influence people push for erasure due to some writing flaws when that’s not and never been the case canon or fanon for other characters I mean have you read early black panther? It’s not good. I think people need to reflect if they actually have an issue with how he’s written or if they not only don’t want to view him as Roma but don’t want to put in their own work of looking past the stereotypes either. Also tbh while you’ll see people tote that Roma people don’t like his rep (which I’m not saying there’s none who don’t) the posts that are most commonly referenced are by non Romani people (and one is by a total freak so yeah). In current canon Dick is probably about 1/4th “ethnically” Roma (though that hardly matters he’s Roma hes roma like. Roma is a race he’s just not white) but also in preboot, dick's father was a kalderash-american rom, dick also spoke lovari dialect in preboot. as of post flashpoint, dick's mom is an american roma but her vitsa is not confirmed, so i just like to hc john was kalderash and mary was lovara personally 🥰 like again the best thing dc can do is actually talk about the Graysons, Mary’s family, ect and make them human. Make them more than stereotypes. Actually talk about his culture and his family and his people-not just brush it under a rug until they reference it for diversity points later

As for your other question/point to me the difference between hcing a character as a different race vs like Dick is the push to view white characters as non white instead of actually making fan content of canon non white characters? Like it’s almost a white guilt thing w Tim (this is not at fans of color) but like you want to feel good about stanning characters of color but you also. Don’t actually stan a character of color (like Tim or Jason for instance) so you just hc them as non white (and yes often stereotypically) instead of like reading a single comic w Duke in it. Like racebending is fine and I think it’s good but when done by white fans it’s often actually done to like justify their distance from actual canon characters of color. Like I’m glad you think Tim’s Asian but you still won’t draw fanart of the batfam w Duke in it in 2022 yknow? You still prioritize Jason over Cass but you think he’s Latine, you hc Steph as ambiguously brown but you still characterize Damian in a racist manner, ect. Does that make sense I’m not actually sure I’m explaining well. Oh and in the case you specified Dick is canonically non white wheras Tim isn’t-and it should be noted that white isn’t the baseline-While no one’s saying writers had any intentions he was never stated to be white before-him being “retconned” as Roma isn’t really fair or true he was simply revealed to be so as again white cannot be treated as the inherent norm (nor should heterosexuality and being cisgender or able bodied) I’m not saying you’re wrong but I think it’s important not to think about that kind of stuff in those terms if that makes sense. I hope I cleared this up. I certainly tried and should you have any more questions my inbox/dms are open

Edit : adding on an important response from @royharper : the bottom line is that people who aren't roma should not be speaking on his identity as a rom because they have no idea what roma identity fully entails. i've seen people claim "he's not culturally connected, therefore he can't be roma" or "he can be white and roma, he's not a person of color" when neither of these things are true. for one, while devin is inconsistent in her writing, dick is shown to be raised within the culture as far back as her titans run in the late 90's, in which he is shown to be speaking romanes with his father in a dream sequence that is heavily implied to be a flashback of sorts, and as well lian states that dick can speak romanes when discussing the various languages that her dad, aunts, and uncles can speak. language /is/ culture for us, it's not something that any outsider can just learn super easily. it was really strange that she retconned this herself by the time gotham knights was written a few years later through the character yoska, who attempts to speak romanes with dick and finds that he can't understand him, however using this, along with the orientalist stereotypes devin tried to impose on both dick and yoska when writing about roma identity, as an excuse to say that dick is not "really a rom" is racist. outsiders do not understand the nuances of roma identity enough to make that judgement, and no, wikipedia is not an accurate source for information about roma. touching on the idea that roma can be white, this is a misconception. while outsiders may be folded into the community by marriage or adoption, this is not very common because we don't tend to marry or adopt outside of our communities. furthermore, roma is not an ethnicity. roma is our race. our ethnicities are our clans. there are roma with pale skin, there are even roma that appear white, but they are still racially roma and are still subject to racial discrimination. in response to the idea that there is an outpouring of roma fans who don't want dick to be roma at all, this simply isn't true. that rumor was originally started by someone who was outed as a racefaker, and is perpetuated by white fans who seek to weaponize this perspective to justify their whitewashing and racism. i've known more roma who were, while still critical of devin's orientalism/antiromanyism, ecstatic to have a roma comic character who actually speaks the language, as in comparison to doctor doom and the maximoff twins, who are arguably just as popular, who do not speak romanes in comics, or have only spoken one or two words of the language. dick is important in terms of representation for this fact alone. i can't fathom the amount of people who are not roma who think that just because roma characters are often subject to stereotypical writing that it's somehow better to simply erase their racial identity all together rather than doing their own research to avoid stereotypes when portraying the characters and pushing for these companies to start hiring roma creatives as we do with /every other character of color because not a SINGLE character of color in comics history has been entirely free of racist, stereotypical writing or of colorism and whitewashing in official artwork/. and yet you don't see people pushing for other characters of color to be made white. it's really very telling to me. and just for the record, since i know this is for some reason a popular talking point, dick's race was not retconned after devin initially wrote him as roma. his race has been referenced across numerous other comics written by other writers over the years, most notably tim seeley in his run of nightwing rebirth. while i have issues with seeley's characterization of dick, and he tends to sexualize him just as much if not more than devin imo, dick's racial identity plays a big role in the raptor arc. stop acting like devin was the only writer to ever write dick as a rom and that it was never seen or heard of again in canon after she stopped working on nightwing.

[eri-cheri]

Now that we have reached the last chapter of the year. It is time to do a 2020 roll call of what I like to call, “State of the Shippers”:

1. IzuOcha. Status: Placated.

-IzuOcha’s could celebrate several cute tidbits throughout the year. Mini moments as they say.

Anime Highlights: The OVA’s came in clutch with moments for shippers all around and IzuOcha is no exception. We got a cute tidbit where Izuku and Ochako bumped into each other and were flustered.

Manga Highlights: Christmas kept on giving to this fandom as the AM doll Izuku gave Ochako made many appearances. A cute fist bump between the two was also exchanged and Mina was right there bouncing with y’all.

Heroes Rising: Izuku super man carried Ochako to safety. And was Angy she was injured. Fans could enjoy the small Lois Lane moment.

Troubling Signs?: Ochako said “I would like to be excluded from this narrative” when it comes to her feelings for Deku. She’s a hero damnit! So if they are in for something, probably won’t be while they are still in school.

II. DabiHawks. Status: Yikes.

- Dabi and Hawk’s very public breakup set this fandom in disarray but also kind of disayay?

Anime Highlights: None yet. This fandom was cruelly cock blocked by Bones. Sorry DabiHawks stans.

Manga Highlights: Where to begin, my goodness. With these fans, I guess the good and the bad is a plus in this homoerotic double agent relationship. We have the notion that Dabi may have known Hawks when they were kids, which may be a positive? Hori sure loves his childhood friends. Other than that. The GIRLS WERE FIGHTIN’. Hawks is now permanently scarred by Dabi and I don’t think it was kinky folks. Tokoyami inserted himself in the middle to White Knight Hawks, Dabi broke up with him via YT expose and overall, shippers could anguish in the absolute MESS that this ship endured this year. But I’m sure that’s part of the appeal. So...yay?

Heroes Rising: They were both in it.

Troubling Signs?: The entire relationship is a troubling sign which again, is part of the appeal. Maybe Hawks will cuddle up with Dabi’s father after the war. That’s troubling! Speaking of...

III. EndHawks. Status: Yearning and Burning.

-If there’s one thing Endeavor couldn’t stop worrying about, it was his hot (in more ways than one) new side piece who probably should have looked at the fine print when signing a contract to be a recurring guest star on “Keeping up with the Todoroki’s”.

Anime Highlights: A fateful meeting finally in high definition for all our eyes to see! Hawks’s unwavering support of his biggest hero was endearing to watch and their shenanigans together spurred the anime onlies to finally jump on the biggest May-December ship in the series.

Manga Highlights: Endeavor’s admiration and concern for Hawks seeped through the pages as we entered our most exciting arc in the manga yet. Fate split these two up yet entwined their downfall together. And that Fate’s name was Dabi...or should I say ⚫️⚫️⚫️⚫️⚫️ or should I just say Touya!

Heroes Rising: “Don’t bite my head off, Endeavor.” Geez, can you flirt a little less loud Hawks?

Troubling Signs?: They say never meet your heroes and Hawks is in for a rude awakening. We shall see just how deep his admiration runs or if Endeavor’s past will split our dynamic duo up for good.

IV: TodoDeku. Status: “Precious”

-Shoto’s “Midoriya is in Danger” radar was highlighted in both manga and anime. 4th User’s quirk, who?

Anime Highlights: “Midoriya hasn’t returned yet.” “Where’s Midoriya?” “Midoriya! Grab my hand!” “Have some of my Soba Midoriya.” Shoto gets it. His emotional support friend is a danger magnet. TodoDeku’s also enjoyed tiny tidbits in the OVA such as a hand grabbing scene. Gotta hold tight to those crumbs.

Manga Highlights: Two Words. “Precious Friend.” Deku comes in w/o arms or legs fighting for Shoto and Shoto’s honor. These two spent the entire year worried sick about each other, and going against all odds to save each other. Precious Friends indeed. TDDK fans ate.

Heroes Rising: Shoto kicks some dog ass and then faints thinking of Deku (and Bakugo but shh. Let the shippers rejoice.) On the bright side, we have a 3rd movie coming featuring “The Three Musketeers” so shippers of TdDk can HOLD TIGHT to what’s to come.

Troubling Signs?: Shoto still doesn’t know about OFA and he’s gonna have LOTS of questions after this arc. Will Deku finally tell him? If not, it could make or break the ship.

V. TodoBaku. Status: “Shining through the city with a little funk and soul.”

-Who knew the greatest comedy duo we needed was Shoto and his hot headed “friend” or not friend? It still remains unclear to Shoto. Regardless, these two had a fun year.

Anime Highlights: “I wanna see your cute face”, disco dancing, and more fun in the provisional license training. Plus the OVA added some cute moments between the two such as Bakugo staying behind to save Todoroki during a dangerous excercise and his adorable plan neatly animated for us. I’d say TodoBaku’s really were resurgent and energized this year!

Manga Highlights: Shoto, that is not how you properly Catch a Kacchan, I’m sorry. But at least you did it you mad lad. As with Deku, Shoto spent the year worried sick about Bakugo. While the anime let us have our fun, these two were suffering in the manga.

Heroes Rising: Again, Shoto put a dog down and then fainted with Bakugo on his mind (and Deku but we ignore that. Shush.) TodoBaku’s have the 3rd movie to look forward to which is bound to have some amazing content!

Troubling Signs?: They have a lot of trauma to deal with. And a lot of Deku to worry about. I also imagine Shoto will be hurt about being left out of the OFA secret. We shall see what 2021 has to offer.

VI. KiriMina. Status: Unbreakable.

-Changing your hairstyle to match the gal who inspired you in middle school? Sorry y’all but if Mina were a guy, I’d say that’s gay af.

Anime Highlights: We got that backstory Bois. Red Riot’s origin might as well make him be called Pink Riot. Again with Hori and the childhood friends though I wouldn’t exactly call them friends. They just went to the same middle school but Kirishima was highly influenced by Mina’s Chivalrous spirit! A ship is born!

Manga Highlights: The influence is mutual! Mina creates a move based on Kirishima’s unbreakable and we all let out a collective “awwww”. Also in the war arc, we got Kirishima making sure Mina’s chivalrous spirit shines through right into Gigantomachia’s mouth! KiriMina may just be the unsung MVP’s of this arc.

Heroes Rising: They were in it.

Troubling Signs?: I can’t think of a single one. KiriMina’s can enjoy a peaceful sailing.

VII: KiriBaku. Status: Crumb Collectors.

-2020 was an uneventful year for KiriBaku but Bones made sure there were crumbs aplenty! Thank God for OVA’s!

Anime Highlights: KiriBaku’s did thrive in one episode! Kirishima reflects on the sludge incident and evolves his quirk based on inspiring words from Bakugo! Hooray! KiriBaku’s can thrive in their blossoming friendship. The OVA also has Kirishima (and Kaminari but shh) once again following Bakugo’s lead when it comes to the training excercise. How can you not? He’s so manly!

Manga Highlights: Not gonna lie. There is nothing much here this year. I did find a teeny tiny flake in Aizawa’s flashback. Kirishima and Bakugo are sitting next to each other. Oh! And at the hot pot gathering, Bakugo sits next to Kirishima! Eat your crumbs KiriBaku’s! There’s always next year!

Heroes Rising: Kirishima hangs with a lazy Bakugo and delivers the most hilarious line in the whole movie. “Silly Bakugo, there won’t be villains here!” Hahah... Silly Bakugo. Oh you~ KiriBaku’s can inhale the fact that those two sure love to hover around each other!

Troubling Signs?: With great crumbs come little responsiblity. No trouble if there’s no content! 🤔

VIII: KamiJirou. Status: Singing their hearts out 🎶

-If there’s any ship that’s coming close to canonization, I think this is it, folks! “Think of the person most important to you!” Can’t argue with Midnight!

Anime Highlights: Kaminari does non stop encouraging of Jirou and her hobbies! He works super hard to learn guitar for her sake! We love a king who can encourage his queen!

Manga Highlights: Kaminari thinks of the most important person to him and surprise! It’s Jirou! All of the feels can commence.

Heroes Rising: They were in it!

Troubling Signs?: Kaminari does love his women. And men. Kaminari overall is a huge flirt. But Jirou appears to have his heart strings. ❤️

IX: BakuDeku. Status: Rising. 👑

-Alternative Statuses include Winning, Thriving, Soaring. It’s just been non stop content this year. 2020 is truly the year for BakuDeku. The shippers can rejoice.

Anime Highlights: Three words. Be. My. Cane. The OVA’s helped fan the flames of the BkDk hearts with a surprise! Deku tops! Not only that, we got a lovely shoulder tap of encouragement in the canon material. While in season 4, Deku’s primary focus was Eri. Bakugo and Deku still had their moments to be hella gay.

Manga Highlights: Where do I even begin? I guess we’ll just cut to the chase with Bakugo Katsuki: Rising. We finally saw Bakugo’s true feelings manifest for Deku and if getting stabbed for him isn’t the ultimate showing of love, then idk what is. BakuDeku’s rounded out the year with the Volume 29 cover AND the volume 29 cover drafts to eat at our heart strings. Overall, their relationship got the spotlight in the manga this year. And we’re bound to start 2021 with a dramatic confrontation. Hand holding seems to be the key with these two and it didn’t stop with Heroes Rising...speaking of.

Heroes Rising: The entire movie. Like....yeah. That’s it. [OP, your bias is showing. You have to be SPECIFIC.] {But random criticizer in my head, if I lay out the entire plot of the movie, my post will be too long} [OP....] UGHHHH Okay okay. The POPSICLE MELTING. THE HAND HOLDING. THE CHARACTER DESIGNS OF WHAT MIGHT AS WELL BE THEIR LOVE CHILDREN. Did I mention? “It’s fine if it’s you?” CAUSE YEAH. Oh and All Might randomly officiating their wedding in their heads like idk. Isn’t it just simpler if I say the whole movie??!

Troubling Signs?: Well these two’s relationship is extremely delicate and while it has non stop soared this year, Deku might not take too kindly to Bakugo almost dying for him. Will they stop pushing each other away? Time will tell.

That’s all for this year folks! Happy Shipping and good luck to everyone next year!

[lord-of-christmas-lights]

I swear I have normal Narnia headcanons. However, none of them are featured in this post.

So! If you've been following my series of posts about my Inhuman Narnia AU and the couple of oneshots I posted on ao3 under ASkyOfKai, you've probably noticed that in this little universe I've created, Narnia is sort of...sentient. And I've just realized that I've only actually gone into depth about this on Discord with my friends who are probably very tired of hearing about it. So I'm making y'all suffer through it instead. Welcome to Inhuman Narnia 101, please take your seats because this is going to take a while.

Warning for religious themes, theological discussion, and some dark fantasy/inhuman/body horror concepts that involve blood and physical changes.

BEFORE I SAY ANYTHING: Please keep in mind that an AU is meant to be an alternate universe that may not follow canon information. If anything in this post contradicts canon on the creation of Narnia (it undoubtedly will), pay it no mind, this is an AU. It doesn't have to follow canon.

First off, a little explanation of the Inhuman Narnia AU in general. Basically I came up with this AU after seeing some other people on tumblr post about the Pevensies being not quite human after their time in Narnia. Just eerie, cryptid, a bit of dark fantasy kinda stuff. And I was like, "I'm in love, sign me up, I have ideas." I did not sit down and develop this all at once. The worldbuilding I've done for it has come slowly over the past few weeks through posts, fanfics, and discord rambles. The idea of Narnia being a sentient earth deity of sorts is a recent one and there is already so much to it. (Also I call her Narnia because it's convenient, she has other names but I haven't bothered to like, actually make any up so Narnia is what she's called.)

The most important thing to note starting off is that Narnia is not supposed to be a replacement for Aslan, nor is she necessarily "the hero to his villain". Aslan and I have an interesting relationship, as he is literally God/Jesus/The Holy Spirit/etc and I no longer really identify as Christian. While there are times that Aslan definitely takes a more antagonistic route in my writings, I don't actually see him as a bad guy, nor as a good guy. As God, he literally removed from our concepts of good and evil (in my opinion). The same goes for Narnia being an earth deity. I am a Christian-raised pagan, and I definitely subscribe to the idea that gods and deities are not subject to humanity and our rules. Narnia is not a good goddess, she is not a bad goddess, she simply is a goddess. Plain and simple. The dichotomy that exists between Narnia and Aslan in my writing is generally that of opposing deities, but this isn't a hard and fast rule. There were and still are times when they're friends, working towards the same goals. There are times when Narnia's power is stronger than Aslan's and times when Aslan's power is stronger than hers. There is no simple 1:1 comparison between them.

So, getting into motivations and why Narnia as a deity even exists. Essentially, I asked the question, "How do the Pevensies become inhuman?" and voila earth deity Narnia was born. Now, the basic in-universe mythology I've worked out is that Narnia and Aslan are two deities from separate dimensions that came together to create a new world, the world of Narnia. Aslan is the one who oversees things, he's the one who comes up with the ideas, and he's a little less attached to the world as a whole because he's a Creator, not an earth deity. Narnia is, however, and she literally makes up the world, she sort of runs the entire thing on a physical level, and she is much more attached to it. So she's always kinda taken on this role of making the things in her world the way she wants them. For the most part, she and Aslan designed everything together and they're both happy with it blah blah blah. Well, Aslan then decides to bring a few humans from this other world he's created to Narnia. And she affects them a bit (I've got headcanons about Digory and Polly that I haven't posted anywhere yet but I might soon), but it isn't until Aslan brings the Pevensies over that she really gets to experiment. See, there are other deities in the world that kinda rule over the various lands on a surface level (patron gods for Telmar, the Archenlands, etc, they just have less power than Narnia and Aslan) so she has a little less power over the people in those places, but the country of Narnia is both her land and her so when the Pevensies become the Kings and Queens and live there for 15 years, she's very connected to them. And it's through this connection that she starts to affect them. Honestly, I'm not sure if Narnia even knows what she's doing when she starts stripping away their humanity. I think it's that she can feel they're not from her world and she doesn't like that. She wants them to be a part of her, she wants them to belong in her world just the same as everyone else. (Side note—I know Telmar and some other lands in canon are based on people finding portals and coming through and I'd like to say that she does affect them a bit, takes away a bit of their humanity, but it's not to the same extent as the Kings and Queens of her lands).

"So Kai," you might say, "You keep empathizing that she is literally the land and the land is her. What the hell do you mean by that?" Well, essentially, she is...the...land. Basically if you've read Percy Jackson Heroes of Olympus, there's this idea that Gaia and Tartarus are both physically their domains and able to take on a smaller, human shaped physical form because they're gods and not restricted by human ideas of only having one body. Narnia is the same. Her physical form is both the entire world and whatever smaller shape she might appear in to people. However, we have to acknowledge that their world is differently structurally from ours. There's magic, there's talking animals, and in my Inhuman AU, there is a literal Heart of Narnia at the center. Like a physical, beating, human-shaped heart. Except it's a lot bigger than a regular human heart. Also it's golden. And many many many miles underground. So anyways this is where she's centered. It's basically where her soul is. Probably under Cair Paravel because I just came up with that idea and I love it. And radiating out from it are veins of magic and blood, and these stretch all across the world. Now here is where we get into blood magic and some of those fun terrifying concepts I've come up with.

Narnia has her own blood, of course, but also whenever one of her Kings or Queens bleeds in battle, she kinda pulls it down through the earth into her own heart and veins. It doesn't really do anything to her or them in particular, it's just a fun side effect of them having a patron pagan god. Yes this includes Caspian after he becomes King. Also Peter's blood turns golden because he's the High King, and then later Caspian's does too because I just really like imagery of Ben Barnes bleeding gold. (Side note—when Peter returns to England, his blood goes back to red, but it does remain a brighter red than blood generally is).

Diverting for half a second here. Now, in both my regular Narnia writings and my Inhuman AU, Lucy is very very connected to magic. In my regular Narnia fanfic, she studies with the druids, who are sort of like BBC Merlin's druids. They're just like, chill dudes who run around in camps doing magic and making prophecies and shit. However, in the Inhuman AU, they are a lot darker. One of my favorite ideas with the Inhuman druids and Lucy is that they are so connected to Narnia's magic and her Heart that their hands become stained with blood. Is it their blood, is it Narnia's blood, is it someone else's blood? Idk, don't ask questions. But yea, their hands are permanently stained reddish-brown to almost black. In my regular Narnia stuff, I still like the idea of Lucy's hands being stained and go with just earth magic, dirt stuff for the reason why. But yea no, in the Inhuman AU her hands are stained with blood because of blood magic.

So getting a bit more into how Narnia affects the Pevensies now because I love talking about this lol. She doesn't consciously chose how to change them, though she does call them her creations. Generally the way her magic affects them is by connecting them to to the land in some way and bringing out certain traits they have. So for Peter it's his eyes flickering between regular blue and the amber of a lion's, feathers appearing on his back that grow into wings, having a strength greater than that of a giant's. His blood is golden and on clear nights, the Aurora Borealis in the sky is reflected across his skin. For Susan, her skin glints like glass in the sun and she can briefly glimpse the future. Her wounds are sewn shut with golden rays of light, her eyes are cracked but clear, and she seems to glow faintly in the night, a bit of the sun's radiance shining through her. Edmund has a bit of a star's power lodged in his throat, and can manipulate words, uses them to influence people and their actions. His skin is frostbitten in places, a side effect of ruling the Woods where the White Witch once held so much power, and in some spots his bones shine under the ice that spreads across his skin. Lucy has the stained skin from her stronger connection to magic, and when she speaks words from the Old Language (the one Aslan and Narnia used to shape the world itself), her voice echoes and rasps. Her teeth are too sharp, her smile too wide, and when she disappears underwater, she can stay for hours without surfacing. I want to get into Eustace and Caspian now too but this post is already extremely long and I've still got a bit to cover, so we're just sticking with the Pevensies for now. So yea, Narnia doesn't pick what she does to the Pevensies, she just connects herself to them and through that connection, they change. The magic that she is made of, that Narnia the world operates on, that's what changes them. However, as I stated already, she does call them her creations and feels extremely responsible for them.

Wrapping back around up to the beginning, this is the biggest source of conflict between her and Aslan as of the canon timeline. I like to believe that the lamppost incident was an accident, that Aslan didn't actually mean to send them back at the end of LWW and it was pure coincidence, wrong place wrong time stuff. That being said, it did happen and Narnia really didn't like it happening. The Pevensies did return to their (mostly) human selves in this AU in England, so when they came back in Prince Caspian, she felt disconnected from them again. She reacted to this by digging into them even harder on a spiritual level and essentially speedran them back to being inhuman throughout the timeline of PC, which generally takes place over a few months in my mind. I don't remember how long it was in the book, it's been quite a while since I read them, but it's only like a week in the movie and like eff that, overthrowing a kingdom takes a bit longer in my opinion. Now there are a few divergences here. 1. They all stay at the end of PC and yea that's it, they go back to being Kings and Queens and it's like a second Golden Age but with Caspian there as well. 2. Susan and Peter stay, Lucy and Edmund go back and it's a repeat of the human/inhumanity cycle for them + Eustace in VOTDT and then they stay. 3. Everything happens exactly as it does in canon and it's a constant cycle of humanity/inhumanity with the character's various trips and finally ends at The Last Battle. I like all versions and I tend to leave things a little open to the reader on what exactly happens, or I would if I could actually finish some of my drafts and post them. As you can imagine, Narnia likes 1 the best and 3 the least. She really wants her Kings and Queens to stay and rule her lands and like be awesome and stuff. However, Aslan prefers 3 the best and 1 the least. So again, neither of them is really good nor evil, they just have differing opinions on how the world should be run and what the Pevensie's fates should be. I do tend to side with Narnia, I really like exploring these concepts of inhumanity, but I also really like the concept of a cycle. That's very common in mythology.

So anyways, that's a bit of an overview on earth deity Narnia and her role in my Inhuman AU. If you made it this far, congratulations, and I give you explicit permission to use any of my ideas in your own writing/fanart/whatever, as long as you tag either my tumblr or my ao3 (lord-of-christmas-lights and ASkyOfKai) because I need more Narnia+Inhumanity content in my life. Thanks for reading all this and I'll probably be back very soon with elaboration on Eustace and Caspian's inhumanity!

- Kai

[high-supernatural]

Reasons Kai Parker Wasn’t Technically Evil

#1 - 1,000: Nobody ever gave him a chance, he became a product of his environment. Let me explain, 

His family rejected him from the moment they found out he was a siphoner. It’s basic developmental psychology that toxic households lead to toxic traits as an adult whether they’re super evident or not. Kai said in (idk which episode, the one where he calls Caroline ‘Clarice’), that growing up was hard since he was basically disowned for what he was born as, he wasn’t allowed to touch anybody, he watched his siblings being applauded while he wasn’t allowed to go near anyone, and it was difficult because he felt like an addict fiening for a hit of magic all the time, he wanted to change but nobody would help him or give him a chance. 

Putting developmental psychology to that -- he was disowned for who he was (he was raised and taught to hate himself for something he couldn’t change), he couldn’t touch anyone (kids need physical touch and interaction to develop in a healthy way lol), he was never praised or allowed to participate in much and had to watch everyone else be involved (that’s just evidently shitty), & he struggled and was refused help, so the idea was put in his mind that he couldn’t be saved or get help anywhere. AND THEN, since he was ignored his whole life basically, he got their attention in an extreme way and then spent 18 years in 100% isolation. 

SO THEN AS AN ADULT, he has poor boundaries, doesn’t know how to interact with others well, forces his way into other people’s lives because he doesn’t want to be left out again, feels like he’ll be refused help so he either forces people to help or he deals by accepting that nobody will help and decides to revel in all that he is. He knows/thinks that extravagant displays of violence gets peoples attention, so that’s how he get’s attention on top of becoming more invincible so they can’t put him in isolation for it. 

Imagine this: your family completely disowns you for being born a certain way, you have to watch them be a happy family while you’re forced to sit on the sidelines all your life, you struggle with the way you were born and it makes you feel terrible, when you reach out for help you’re rejected, so you lash out and are forced to spend 18 years in a world identical to yours but there’s nobody in it -- 18 years in silence, loneliness, desolation, basically you’re the last person on Earth but you can’t escape and you can’t die. Because of this you have unhealthy communication methods, tons of trauma, all that stuff. So when you’re rescued and display your unhealthy behavior, your rescuers also disown you and treat you terribly. 

Idk about anyone else but I’d lose my marbles too. 

He literally asked Bonnie to be a positive influence on him & to help him adjust before they left the prison world. He said, and I quote, “the thing I’m most scared of is trying to figure out how to live in the world again, I was sort of hoping you’d be a positive influence on me. You’re a good person, Bonnie, you’re brave, loyal, patient... I wanna be more like you.” And Bonnie didn’t really care. I mean, in her defense I wouldn’t trust someone who killed me a few times either, but from Kai’s perspective I’d be a lil hurt. 

He genuinely apologized to people he’s hurt. 

A truly evil person doesn’t have a conscious, Kai does, specifically in these lines -- “I know you think I’m a monster, I mean I did murder or heavily maim most of my immediate family... but after a long period of self reflection, I came to the conclusion that I could’ve handled my anger better,” and, “how do you feel?” psychopaths don’t care how people feel and wouldn’t admit they did any wrong unless they were trying to get their way with something... which I guess could have been the case. BUT, psychopaths also don’t ask others for help or advice, and Kai does a few times. 

In the deleted 6x15 scene he tries to reasonably talk to Jo and Jo throws him against the wall. Kai says, “as much as my suffering might bring you pleasure, or whatever, this is not the way to handle this situation,” LIKE, he was TRYING to have an actual conversation. Also, this statement basically just says all of what he feels; “my family just enjoys to watch me suffer.” Then he says, “I’m the defective twin that nobody wanted,” “I spent 18 years in isolation as the family reject, and every inch of me wants to kill you for that, but I can’t,” “I’d like to live because I didn’t get to do a whole lot of that before everybody decided that I wasn’t worth it,” UGHHHH

ALSO in that scene, Kai says he’s trying to keep the coven alive. Like, ok, hypothetically if my whole life panned out like Kai’s did, I wouldn’t really want to be alive, no matter how much power I could potentially achieve in the future. Assuming Kai was feeling the same, he still wanted to keep his family alive. 

He tried opening up to multiple people including Jo, Elena/Damon, Bonnie..... and they all ignored him or kept telling him he’s evil. THAT’S SO ANNOYING. He even acknowledged that he didn’t expect them to believe him, proving that he knows he’s done wrong, psychopaths don’t know they’ve done wrong.

Boi needed friends, support, and therapy, but was locked in another prison world again....

[scoopsgf]

i’ve been rewatching the early gg seasons and seeing how lorelai handled dean makes me SO much more upset with her hostility towards jess :( lorelai is actually probably my favourite character but her weird grudge against jess is so annoying to me!! with dean she literally told him “i want to like you because rory likes you and i usually get what i want” and just ??? ma’am where was that attitude for jess

no yeah like i love lorelai. i always feel the need to preface asks like this by saying that but i really do. i think she’s such an interesting and dynamic character, and the negative aspects of her personality only make her more intriguing to me (as it does w all the characters bc those are the things that make them three-dimensional), but yeah. her favoring dean is, i think, rooted in the belief that dean is a Good Small Town Boy who will treat her daughter with respect and open car doors for her etc (nevermind the fact that dean grew up in chicago or wherever the fuck), whereas jess is like. dangerous. intent on corrupting rory and stealing her ‘virtue’ while dean is content with chastity and taking things extremely slow. ironically jess is the only bf of rory’s who never came close to influencing her behavior or actions in a negative way. he was the one focused most on letting her do her own thing and respecting who she was without trying to change her to be more like him. but yeah, lorelai not giving jess any lenience, not attempting to understand him, and somehow not recognizing that he was clearly a very angry and traumatised kid lashing out because he was incapable of trust/communication et al? even though she’s been there herself? idk, it just. drives me insane. i would’ve loved to have seen lor take jess under her wing the way she did with lane and paris and shit, even dean. there was so much potential for them to bond and. y’know. self recognize through the other. they are literally twisted funhouse mirror reflections of each other. they grew up in wildly different circumstances but their childhoods had similar undertones and they came out valuing the same things and exhibiting similar behaviors. ugrhfbfnf sometimes i want to grab asp by the shoulders and ask her what the fuck she was thinking w some of these storylines

[gospelofme]

47 Thoughts While Watching Part 1 of The Bad Batch season finale (spoilers ahead!!!!!)

“They’ll still come for you”. Ugh that sounds so sad. He’s confident about it too.

How did Echo get so good at ship repairs? Unless basic ship crap is mandatory for sudden repairs. Which I guess if you hang with Skywalker, that’s a requirement.

Aaahhh, the Kamino theme is memorable.

So I wonder if Rampart planned to leave Crosshair on Kamino all along?

I love the fact the Kaminoans kept secrets from the Republic/Empire. Like using their credits to fund their own projects.

I wonder how Omega knew about that platform….I didn’t think she’d ever left Kamino. Unless she went there with Nala Se for whatever.

Damn, I’d hate always getting wet when I go outside.

So the pad and lift are proximity sensor based. Not weight.

So the tubes aren’t documented on any schematics. So none of the blueprints that Tech has access to have them on there. That means one of two things:

- there are “official” and “unofficial” blueprints. Like some the Republic were given and the actual plans.

- Nala Se had the tube system built specifically for her.

Private research lab doesn’t mean secret…but still, why did she get a private one? Was it just to create the enhanced clones? Or was it used for more “off the records” projects?

And if there are other tubes that run throughout Kamino, and they’re all secret, WHY!? Like why do they exist? Surely the Kaminoans know they can just go wherever they want whenever they want because they fucking live there. Unless….they became prisoners in their own home….

About how uncomfortable Omega is having to go to the lab…

“why would I be?” He sounded like he rolled his eyes there.

The amount of salt that is being sprinkled by Crosshair right now.

“We didn’t have a choice?”

“And I did?”

Okay so when I first watched this episode, I thought that meant he no longer had his chip. But now I see it as Crosshair not having a choice because Hunter had committed treason by what his orders were telling him.

Also, I love the colors used in the control room. Idk why. They just all work. I think it’s because the rest of that place is so blinding with white light.

So how did they build the tubes under water….

“Most in Tipoca City don’t know about it.” So some do.

Omega sounds so sad. Honestly since I’m certain there were more than just five enhanced clones, since Nala Se said that that was all that remained, I wonder if Omega saw the clones that didn’t survive the experimentation.

About how Tech always looks like he’s texting. I’m waiting for him to take a selfie with Echo or something.

About Hunter still trying to convince Crosshair that this is all influenced by his chip. I think Crosshair knows he’s being used, but he (like the others in Clone Force 99) want some sense of normalcy. Like Echo said earlier, “we’re soldiers, what other path is there?”

Okay the alarm reminds me of the purge siren.

And the indoor alarm sounds like an airport alert.

About Echo taking charge, although I think he naturally is the next in command rank-wise. Do we even know the rank of Tech and Wrecker? What was Crosshair’s rank before?

Omega should’ve gone and tattled on them to Rex. Like “and then they just ditched me!! Again!! I know I have no combat training but still…”

Its pretty clear that Crosshair knows how the team is going to act. Like what tactics they’d use and decisions they’d make. Like on Bracca, Crosshair knew immediately the scanner frequencies were being jammed, because he had seen Tech use that trick before.

“We’re running out of time Commander” I have enjoyed that guy’s voice. It’s soothing.

The way Crosshair spits out “the Republic” makes me think there is something more than just the inhibitor chip at play. I wonder if he’s always harbored ill feelings towards the Republic. Cut had issues with the war that were so strong, he deserted. I wonder if Crosshair had similar feelings.

Wow he is really hurt about being left behind. And I can understand that. But Hunter did have a responsibility to Omega, Wrecker, Echo, and Tech too. He couldn’t risk them being shot and killed while trying to reason with someone who is shooting at him. Of course maybe if he had made more of an effort to get Crosshair to come with them…..of course I do think the Empire has done some brainwashing of Crosshair as well.

“I was one of you. You may have forgotten, but I haven’t. And it’s why I’m going to give you, what you never gave me. A chance.”

I think there is more to this than face value. It could very well mean he’s giving them a chance to join the Empire. But that whole conversion always used the term “choice”, not “chance”. “Chance” is used more as “an opportunity to do something”. That “do something” could be making a decision though. Like “I’m going to give you a chance to join the Empire.” But it could be “I’m going to give you a chance to get out of here.” Hunter didn’t give Crosshair a chance to prove he was loyal to them either. Plus the way the rest of Crosshair’s team reacted tells me they weren’t aware of their Commander’s intentions.

I love how Tech, Wrecker, and Echo are standing there like 😐

I thought it was interesting Crosshair decided to send Omega on a shuttle off world. Of course where would that have been? Just pick some random coordinates and say “good luck”? How would that be received by Rampart? Of course I don’t think he cared about Omega. That was just Nala Se and Lama Su really. And honestly, Crosshair was sounding like he’d actually thought about this. Like if Hunter wants to keep Omega safe, then he needs to realize that she won’t be safe with them. Especially if they’re being hunted. However there may have been an ulterior motive here too. With Omega out of the way, It will be like “old times” when it was just them. He probably feels like he was replaced by a kid.

The change in music though. The emotional, sweeping theme dropping down to a more sinister theme when Crosshair mentions their superiority over regular troopers.

“This is what we were made for.” What if, and hear me out…what if the enhanced clones were created specifically for the Empire. Their deployment during the Clone Wars could’ve been a testing phase. They may not have been prepared for the chance the inhibitor chips didn’t work. Crosshair had mentioned that Hunter couldn’t see the bigger picture. What if that is the bigger picture. That all of them were created to serve the Empire. Not the Republic. Which would explain Crosshair’s sudden disgust with it.

That reflection shot of Tech staring into the mirror. I like that shot. That’s really beautifully animated.

I have a feeling Crosshair knew his new squad wouldn’t listen to him. The “stand down” sounded like he was just saying it to say it. I don’t think he ever had respect for them, not after what happened with Saw’s fighters. They weren’t following him out of loyalty, but fear. And loyalty is a big deal to Crosshair. Honestly I think he had planned all along to kill his new squad. Like from the beginning. Which is why he was trying so hard to get his old squad members. The sooner he got them and convinced them to come to his side, the sooner he could shoot his new squad.

I have a feeling Crosshair know’s the reason why they were all created. Granted that could be brainwashing by the Empire to gain his compliance and loyalty. But something tells me that they were created specifically to become an elite squad for the Emperor.

Crosshair has some serious Anakin vibes when he’s telling Hunter to not become his enemy. And Hunter has some Obiwan vibes with the whole “we never were” line.

I do enjoy the weight they give Crosshair when Hunter flips him. Like the sound of him hitting the floor. He’s heavier than he looks.

Lmao that one TK trooper like “nope, imma get the fuck out of here.”

“Let the clones die together.” Yeah that bitch always intended to leave Crosshair on Kamino. Rampart never actually considered him important since he was the one that pitched the idea of an all conscripted trooper squad. He only had Crosshair as a part of it because Admiral Tarkin still liked the idea of clones. I think Rampart is going to try to climb over Tarkin on that Empire ladder. He didn’t mention to Tarkin that Crosshair was still on Kamino.

Aaahhh now the subject of the chip. Does he or doesn’t he? I think he does. The Empire wouldn’t remove it and take that risk of losing that compliance and blind loyalty. Plus the “does it really matter?” tells me he doesn’t know when, which he would if it was recent. He did have it in the first episode though. It showed up on the scanner and he did the whole “good soldiers follow orders.”

So I don’t think he was going to shoot Hunter. I think he feigned movement to make Hunter shoot him. He may not have thought Hunter’s blaster was sent to stun even. He may have intended to have Hunter kill him.

I do like how Hunter doesn’t hesitate to not bring Crosshair this time.

Damn the shots of the empty facility kills me.

Okay, so I know this was sad BUT the bombardment of Kamino was beautifully animated. Honestly. The underwater shots of the bolts hitting the support pillars. And it reminds me…Omega asked Tech about these the war was like and now she kinda knows. She’s never seen explosions like that.

Get ready for part 2

@jgvfhl @leias-left-hair-bun @escapedthesarlacc @halzore @eyecandyeoz

[khaleesiofalicante]

I'm sorry I just feel awful and I feel like I really need a professional's info and since you studied psychology (I think)... I'm sorry for bothering.

So long story short: my mother spent a good chunk of my teenage years shouting at me because I wasn't affectionate (true, but I had heard her say very bad things about my father and paternal great grandmother, who raised me more than she did), sometimes she shouted at me in public spaces, there are times I have felt she would kill me even if she wasn't physically abusive to me, I'm pretty sure she's stolen a family heirloom I received from my grandmother before she passed away, she's told me in no uncertain terms that she will always have ownership of me, etc. Around a month or so ago, I confronted her about it --not because I wanted to-- and she denied having caused me all that trauma. She thinks I made it all up and that I should go to therapy to take those self-made lies out of my head and be more affectionate with her.

I am going to therapy, but at my father's behest. He believed me because my mother is the type of person to think everyone but her is in the wrong, but he still thinks I need to have a relationship with my mother by sole virtue of her being my mother. Although thankfully I'm living with him and not her (they're divorced).

And therapy's being, not the best. It makes me feel sick ngl. The sole purpose of it is mending my relationship with my mother, and idk. My mother still thinks she's done nothing wrong to me and it's kinda triggering (idk if this is the right term --I begin feeling slightly sick, I want to cry, my heart begins feeling really fast). I don't really connect with my therapist, since she has implied I have been influenced by my father, and I feel like she's trying to push me into having a joint session with my mother and doesn't really seem to care that my mum's lying makes me feel like shit.

Idk I just want my mother to leave me alone. I don't want to be part of her 'bettering process'. For once, I doubt she'll improve and I don't want to risk my what little mental stability I have.

However, I've heard that for therapy to do something good to you, you need to feel horrible first. Is this true and does it apply to me? Should I want to continue going to therapy?

I should probably start with the fact that, yes I do have a degree in psychology, but that is not sufficient for me to give advice to anyone, let anyone you.

But in my work life, giving advice and doing consultations with victims of violence and abuse is part of my job description, so it's something I'm good at because of my experience.

So, whatever I share with you - please assess, reflect and choose.

The first thing to understand here is that I cannot tell you if you should go to therapy or not. I know it would be easier if someone made that decision for you. But it's important that ANY decision about your healing and recovery (whether to GO to therapy or to DROP it) is YOUR choice.

That's the first thing. That's the most important thing too.

People make therapy feel like something you need to do when you feel fucked up. That's completely untrue. Therapy is not for those who have suffered or those who have mental illnesses. Therapy is for anyone and everyone who needs support.

It's not like going to a doctor so you can no longer be sick. It's like going to the park or watching a movie or reading a book, something you do to make yourself feel better.

It seems to me that a lot of pain is coming from your relationship with your mother. While you can absolutely choose to continue therapy or not, i think it's important that you work on your mother with some of these issues.

But this means she has to work with you. Sending YOU to therapy is not going to fix the issues the two of you have. Because that means the issues are caused only by you. That's never true. Figure out what you want to do to make your relationship with your mother better (if it's 'leaving you alone' - then figure out what you mean by that).

While therapy can feel horrible and awful at times (because you are making yourself vulnerable and you are healing) it is NOT supposed to feel like punishment.

It's not like medicine.

It's not 'it gets worse before it gets better'.

So, if it is making you feel bad and sick, then you should think about whether you want to continue or not. But make this decision by yourself.

Don't go to or give up on therapy based on anyone's opinion but yours.

Some things you can consider:

instead of giving up entirely, you can ask your therapist to maybe focus on an issue/area of YOUR choice. Maybe even ask her to try an alternate strategy (there are so many types!). Make sure she knows what she is doing doesn't work for you and in fact makes you feel bad. It's important that your therapist knows this!

If it's not working out with her (and that happens sometimes - don't worry) do try it out with someone else. If you need to take a break before trying therapy again, that's alright too.

Sometimes therapy can be a lot for some people. In this case, you can try different things like support groups, self-meditation, and physical exercise. There are also courses on things like managing anxiety, ptsd, etc. Find out a method that works for you.

I hope this is helpful to you.

I'm sorry I can't tell you if you should continue therapy or not. But I do think you need to continue trying to fight for yourself. I think you should focus on making yourself better. But you need to decide what that means and whether therapy comes into it. There is no wrong way to do it :)

Sending a lot of love!

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

Hi Rachel! I've recently discovered literary fiction is what my writing style most closely aligns with, but with that I realized a problem I find while writing is lack of conflict due to larger emphasis on character relationships and prose. Idk if you also have this struggle??? And do you have any tips for generating conflict / stuff to propel the plot forward? Thanks in advance <3

Hmm, I understand this problem but I may not give the best advice for this since I struggle with conflict! I will try my best!

If I'm thinking about my own experience writing a character-driven narrative where conflict is internal rather than external, what I like to think about is exacerbation - is there something one character does in their relationship that creates a reaction within the other party? Really not much "happens" in Feeding Habits (in terms of external conflict - physical things occurring TO the character), especially in Harrison's POV. So in order to keep momentum up in the story (otherwise it would just be a little aimless), I surround the story around a "theme", in a sense that is exacerbated by events in the story/causes more to occur.

Let me share the outline for one of his chapters so this makes more sense! Keep in mind, as I write, I naturally come up with the overall theme of the chapter -- this is not something I do before, but if you’ve never written around theme, thinking about one before might be helpful!

Chapter Six: Blood Sister

TW: death

The overall theme: connections between two people can be immutable even if they are forever separated (their bond is inevitable; indissoluble).

Scene A:

Harrison returns to his apartment after running errands. His mother preps for a dinner as Harrison has invited his old friend Reeve over.

This is an introductory scene. The purpose is not thematic yet, but merely a place to get there.

Scene B:

Harrison removes a litter of kittens from behind the drywall. One of the kittens is dead. Strangely, a German Shepherd puppy is also in the litter.

This is the first hint at theme, and therefore conflict (I lace these two things in a character-driven narrative since the conflict is largely internal. Internal narrative leaves a lot of room for reflection which IMO is where theme lies).

Scene C:

Reeve appears in a glamorous blur and makes an interesting first impression on Suz who seems slightly stunned and endeared by her

Also more of an introductory chapter, though we see the thread of indissoluble connections be brought up when Reeve suggests she and Suz are blood sisters (this is how we make a pretty conflict-less, introduction scene more interesting as we give it thematic texture that reappears later).

Scene D:

At dinner Reeve confronts Harrison about his “straight-edge” lifestyle since moving to NYC and he realizes her judgements about his life being monotonous are very true–he lacks purpose.

I wrote this scene to be the first trigger for Harrison that his life without Lonan (aka the person he is immutably connected to) has been directionless, and so far from authentic. It’s just a dinner scene -- the dialogue gets tense at times, sure, but the main thing driving the conflict is this impending sense of Harrison realizing the theme of this chapter - I understood that when he acknowledged that, the chapter would end. So this is an exciting turning point!

Scene E:

Suzanna confronts Harrison about not telling her Reeve is in fact Lonan’s sister. Suz knows the boys’ relationship is complicated, and plays Devil’s advocate by outright asking Reeve how her brother is. Reeve, who hasn’t seen Lonan longer than Harrison, has assumed Lonan lives with them or is close by, and feels semi-betrayed that Harrison has kept his whereabouts a secret.

This scene exposes something publicly (so not just contained within the narrative) about Harrison: he’s trying so hard to forget his relationship with Lonan (despite how impossible this task is - avoidance won’t work) instead of addressing their connection and moving forward. In many ways, this scene shows how Harrison has willingly stuck himself into a cycle where he can’t move on from his bond with Lonan (if he did, he wouldn’t have lied to his mother & to Reeve) because he doesn’t actually want to.

Scene F:

Reeve and Harrison drive to a garden and he’s reminded of attending a party (which almost directly mirror events Lonan partook in months previous).

This is a critical scene because Harrison relives (almost exactly) the same events Lonan did while trying to avoid doing exactly this. This is setup for our mega thematic reveal in a bit.

Scene G:

Harrison makes his thematic realization after the party

This is that paragraph (CW: alcohol):

It was only later, when he stumbled, bloody knuckled, through their front door, stepping over partygoers and martini glasses, that he understood. He hadn’t come to the party thinking about Lonan but managed to attract the same people. He hadn’t drunk the magenta liquid thinking about him but managed to exit the house stumbling, as he did, his knees knotted like a newborn lamb. There was something inconceivably indissoluble about them—their bond mirror-like, one making one decision, and the other mimicking it with vigour, unknowingly inseparable.

This is the climax of the chapter -- the moment the other scenes before (and after) worked up to. 

Scene H:

Reeve and Harrison perform a water burial for one of the deceased kittens.

This is sort of the falling action of the previous scene -- now that Harrison has realized his past actions were all because of this bond he has with Lonan (the theme!), the way he reacts in the fictive present is informed by this info. This scene provides thematic richening: we got the theme in scene G, scene H allows us to digest it and see how that manifests in Harrison’s present life (it results in self-destruction oops).

Scene I:

Harrison wakes up in the cold, very drunk, and Reeve is gone. A security guard looms over him. Harrison asks the confused man if he thinks he was separated at birth. He isn’t referring to feeling like he’s been removed from a sibling bond, like the kittens, but a deeper, “indissoluble bond” formed between two people (like the kittens and the puppy). This connects to the title “Blood Sister” as Reeve suggests she and Suzanna may be connected in this way, to the kittens, and to Lonan and Harrison.

This is the final little resolution bit but probably the second most important moment in the chapter (after the thematic revelation). This is a moment of admittance. Finally, Harrison accepts that what he’s realized is true and that’s it’s impacted how he’s lived his life the entire time (despite not thinking it did).

So essentially, the conflict comes from a larger theme that the character must grapple with, and they grapple it through events that are influenced by that theme. You can also think of it as the “core” of the chapter -- something everything revolves around. This helps a LOT when I’m writing chapters where not much happens/most stuff is internal.

Hope this makes sense but feel free to send a follow up if this makes no sense!