#but i did just start a list of other the wilds/lost character comparisons that will amount to absolutely nothing because why not

[skatiet]

sawyer is the shelby goodkind of lost

[sendme-2hell]

The Lost Girls of Camp Forevermore - Kim Fu

Summary: A group of young girls at sleepaway camp get stranded in the woods by themselves in Canada (sound familiar?). The narrative alternates between what happened in the woods, and a vignette from each girl in their adult life.

Yellowjackets connection: This book is so spiritually similar to Yellowjackets it’s wild. The way that we see what happened in the woods and flash forward to the adults and how it affected them. The way that it's partially about the viciousness that comes out when girls are left alone. The way that hierarchies break down in the woods. I find myself thinking about this book while watching Yellowjackets.

Is it queer?: only a very little with one character in her adult life

My Brilliant Friend - Elena Ferrante

Summary: Elena and Lila are two intelligent girls growing up in poverty in 1950’s Naples. They have an obsessive and competitive relationship. Elena is able to get an education when Lila is not, and their paths diverge here. The entire four-part book series follows their relationship and distinct lives into late adulthood.

Yellowjackets Connection: My Brilliant Friend is about a lot more than just female friendship, class differences foremost. But obsessive homoerotic female friendships and their complications are front and center. The Neapolitan series follows Elena and Lila as they grow into adults and have their own children, so it shows young women and the adults they grow into. Also has themes of trauma, unreliable narrators, patriarchy, jealousy, ambitious women. 

If you follow my tumblr you know I will connect anything to MBF but Yellowjackets writers did it for me in the show. They literally said Shauna/Jackie = Elena/Lila. If you don’t remember, this is when adult Shauna has dinner with Jackie’s mom who says she’s reading MBF and that the girls in the book remind her so much of Shauna and Jackie. She meant it as an insult to Shauna but it really is a great comparison. Especially since Lila and Elena def had something vaguely fruity going on (but also for other, spoilery reasons). Elena Ferrante is pretty much the go-to when it comes to writing about complicated female friendships so it is not a surprise that they reference it in the show. If you are obsessed with the Shauna/Jackie “friendship” this book series is for you! 

Is it queer? if you consider Jackie and Shauna’s relationship to be queer then yes. There is a lot of subtext and in the later books a little more than subtext. 

Cat’s Eye - Margaret Atwood

Summary: A painter returns to where she grew up and memories that she blocked out of a traumatic childhood friendship resurface.

Yellowjackets connection: Women thinking about their traumatic friendships! And how these affected them going forward in life. The girls in this are a little younger than Yellowjackets girls but I think it is still a foundational text about traumatic female friendships and unreliable narrators. I am absolutely a Margaret Atwood apologist so don’t come for me (or do. I love messages in my inbox)

Is it queer?: no ):

Big Swiss - Jen Beagin

Summary: Greta is a transcriber for a sex therapist where she learns all sorts of intimate details of his clients. She becomes obsessed with a client and even starts a sexual relationship with her! She does not disclose her prior knowledge of this woman so things get messy. 

Fun fact for Killing Eve fans: It is going to be made into a series starring Jodie Comer!

Yellowjackets connection: This is the only book on this list that doesn’t really flash between old and young versions of a character (a bit at the end). Yet I think it deserves to be on this list because messy queer women and obsession and mental illness. Also now that I am thinking about it actually the main character does think about her childhood in the woods a bit...

Is it queer?: The main relationship is between two women and they have a lot of sex. So, yes!

Trust Exercise - Susan Choi

Summary: Don’t want to spoil any of the big reveals but it’s vaguely about highschool  theatre kids and their unhealthy dynamic with their abusive theatre teacher. Trigger warnings for statutory rape and general predatory behavior.

Yellowjackets connection: The reason I put this on my list is because it is about women in high school going through trauma and their adult selves dealing with it. It is about the stories they tell themselves to cope. It is about unreliable narrators. It is about narrative and truth and figuring out what actually happened. The book will not tell you directly, you have to discover it yourself (or read a review that explains it).

Is it queer? no ):

[wickedpact]

dear tumblr user crim wickedpact pls write the essay/dissertation about nicky being shakespeare's fair youth (if you have time, ofc!!)

Not To Imply Nicky Was Shakespeare’s Fair Youth But Ive Read The Fair Youth Sonnets & Nicky Was Definitely Shakespeare’s Fair Youth, an essay by me, tumblr user crim wickedpact

background knowledge: our man shakespeare wrote some 120 sonnets about a young man referred to as the Fair Youth during the mid 1590s; there has been some debate among shakespeare enthusiasts whether shakespeare’s interest in the Fair Youth was platonic or romantic (but like. they were definitely romantic). no one knows for sure who the Fair Youth was, but it was definitely nicky and my first and most important piece of evidence regarding this hypothesis is the ‘lmao babe do you remember that guy who had a crush on me?’/ ‘i try not to remember the guy who had a crush on you’ look joe and nicky exchange when Merrick brings up shakespeare during the movie. especially since gina confirmed in a tweet that joe and nicky canonly did know shakespeare

my second piece of evidence is that it just Works (except for a couple small facts like.. the Fair Youth was prolly closer to his 20s than his 30s. and the fact that shakespeare implies that the Fair Youth slept with his mistress at one point. but he doesnt know what hes talking about shhh we IGNORE)

long post under cut

A. The Description Matches

when describing the Fair Youth (who I’ll call the FY from now on), shakespeare says he has a ‘gold complexion’ and ‘beautiful eyes’ and compares him to a ‘summer’s day’. He says the FY has “A woman’s gentle heart" and “An eye more bright than [women’s are], (...) Gilding the object whereupon [they] gazeth”

As much as shakespeare’s perceptions of sexuality and gender are very........  late 1500′s (whoo boy sonnet #20 is a wild ride) ...... the description does match, and also:

  B. The Fair Youth Refused to Get Married

it’s never really said why one way or another (shakespeare assumes it’s because the FY is selfish) but the FY didn’t/wouldn’t take on a wife and have a kid, and this was something that was a real sticker for our man Willy S. because, as he says in his sonnets a million times: beauty doesn’t last forever, but having a child not only passes down the FY’s beauty, but also blesses the woman the FY would have a child with (im not saying shakespeare wanted to bear the FY’s children, but he definitely did)

Whose fresh repair if now thou not renewest, Thou dost beguile the world, unbless some mother. For where is she so fair whose uneared womb Disdains the tillage of thy husbandry?

(ie. If you don’t renew yourself/ have children, you deprive the world and deprive a woman from having your child, since what woman out there is so beautiful that she wouldn’t want to bear your child?)

Like.

1.) if nicky is the FY then so many of these poems center around the idea of nicky growing old sometime soon and that must have been pretty funny to Nicky and

2.)  the fact that shakespeare would have been So Desperate for nicky to find a wife must have been the opposite of funny to joe. considering the ease of his and nicky’s relationship and the fact that being gay in late 1500s england was probably not a walk in the park, it is very likely shakespeare wouldn’t have known they were in a committed relationship-- or at least not known how close they actually were. Thus:

  C. The Rival (aka. Joe)

shakespeare mentions having a poetic rival in regards to the FY in several sonnets. In sonnet #21 he talks about how he’s not like Those Other Writers who use grand metaphors to talk about their muses

So is it not with me as with that Muse, Stirred by a painted beauty to his verse, Who heaven itself for ornament doth use And every fair with his fair doth rehearse, Making a couplement of proud compare With sun and moon, with earth and sea's rich gems, With April's first-born flowers, and all things rare,

(ie. I’m not like other poets who, when inspired by a ‘painted beauty’ use heaven and every other beautiful thing on the planet to make a grand comparison to their muse: he specifically lists the sun and moon as examples as well as other beautiful things)

He then goes on to say

And then believe me, my love is as fair As any mother's child, though not so bright As those gold candles fixed in heaven's air:

(ie. my love [the FY] is as beautiful as any other beautiful person, though I wouldn’t compare them to the stars/heavens (which is what he means by the 'gold candles’. those are stars.))

So shakespeare insults poets who compare their subjects to the sun, moon, and stars (amongst other things) and in the comics, Joe does literally exactly that

That man is the stars in my sky, and the sun that lights my days. That man is the moon when I'm lost in darkness, and warmth when I shiver in cold.

shakespeare also goes on to say in the same sonnet “Let them say more that like of hearsay well / I will not praise that purpose not to sell” which is to say ‘let people who like that kind of language use it, I wont because I don’t want anyone else to have the subject of my affections (the FY)’.

(which is a bit of a contradiction regarding his feelings abt the FY getting married, but these sonnets are full of contradictions. shakespeare was a confused dude; man spent the first 100 or so sonnets convinced the FY loved him back only for him to start wondering if the FY ever loved him near the end)

(not to mention Marriage For Love wasnt really.. much of a thing in Ye Olden Times but thats a different conversation. so shakespeare prolly didnt associate marriage with love/competition? anyways)

Shakesy-boo goes on to complain about this rival several times. In #79, he says

Yet what of thee thy poet doth invent He robs thee of, and pays it thee again. He lends thee virtue, and he stole that word From thy behaviour; beauty doth he give, And found it in thy cheek: he can afford No praise to thee, but what in thee doth live.

(ie. everything ‘your poet’ (as the FY apparently favored this unnamed rival) says about you, he takes it from you in the first place. he talks about your virtue, but learned the word from watching your behavior. he calls you beautiful but only discovered beauty by looking at your face. every compliment he gives you he took from you in the first place)

[and, as a smaller example, he also bemoans the fact that people want to paint the FY in #67, saying, “Why should false painting imitate his cheek, / And steal dead seeming of his living hue?”. and yknow. Joe’s an artist.]

And then another example in #86

Was it the proud full sail of [the rival’s] great verse, Bound for the prize of all too precious you, That did my ripe thoughts in my brain inhearse, Making their tomb the womb wherein they grew?

Was it his spirit, by spirits taught to write Above a mortal pitch, that struck me dead?

(ie. he’s talking about how he’s having difficulty writing abt the FY and is rhetorically asking if ‘the proud sail’ of the rival’s verses was the reason his ‘ripe thoughts’ were killed in their ‘womb’. He then asks (again rhetorically) if it was the rival’s ‘spirit’ (or creativity, maybe) ‘’’‘by spirits taught to write’’’’ that killed his own drive to write. none of the analyses I’ve read really explain what shakespeare means by ‘spirits taught to write’, other than maybe being a joke or reference to something we dont know, but... ‘taught by dead people to write in a way mortal people can’t’ very much sounds like a description of an immortal poet, eh?)

Which brings me to,

  D. Willy Boy Thinks There Are 500 Year Old Writings About the Fair Youth

shakespeare talks about people having written about the FY ‘500 years ago’ from the late 1500s in #59 which......................... would have been around 1100 AD. :thinking face:

Oh that record could with a backward look, Even of five hundred courses of the sun, Show me your image in some antique book, Since mind at first in character was done, That I might see what the old world could say To this composed wonder of your frame;

(ie. Oh if I could look back 500 years and see how you were described in some old books so I could see/reference what people used to write about you)

Which again brings me to,

  E. I’m Not Saying shakespeare Stole From Joe, But:

1.) In #22, shakespeare says this,

For all that beauty that doth cover thee, Is but the seemly raiment of my heart, Which in thy breast doth live, as thine in me: 

(ie, your beauty is due to the ‘clothes’ my heart gives you-- probably means something like ‘you’re beautiful because i love you’. goes on to say his heart lives in the FY’s chest, and the FY’s heart lives in shakespeare’s chest)

so: shakespeare tells the FY he has shakespeare’s heart. in comparison, Joe calls nicky ‘my heart’ in the comics...... :thinking face x2:

2.) In #109, shakespeare tells the FY ‘thou art my all’,

For nothing this wide universe I call, Save thou, my rose, in it thou art my all.

which rings similar to Joe’s ‘he’s all and he’s more’ as well as (from the comics) ‘he is my everything’

and just saying. joe looks pretty #done the mention of shakespeare.

  F. The last One

Despite shakespeare writing 30+ poems about the FY eventually growing old, the very last poem he writes about/for the FY says,

O thou, my lovely boy, who in thy power Dost hold Time's fickle glass, his sickle hour; Who hast by waning grown, and therein showest Thy lovers withering, as thy sweet self growest. 

(ie. you [the FY] have power over the ‘mirror’ (fickle glass) of time as well as time’s ‘harvesting’ ability (sickle hour) and as you grow older, you remain beautiful while your lovers [shakespeare] wither and grow old)

The transition from ‘get married and have a baby before you get old!!!!’ in #1-20 to talking about the FY’s presence in 500 y/o books in #59 to admitting the FY isn’t growing old in #126 kinda seems to imply shakespeare learning of/about nicky’s immortality at some point, and this last poem is him accepting it.

TLDR: not only does it make perfect sense if nicky was the Fair Youth from the FY sonnets, but it also makes perfect sense if joe was the Rival from the FY sonnets. its canon nothing will convince me otherwise

[peachsayshi]

Chapter 11 - Friends

Tags: Friends with Benefits, Angst, Fluff

Summary: You convince Gojo to make up with your best friend and memories from the past come up. 

A/N: A wild ex-boyfriend appears! I am finally introducing the character and getting into some backstory. I got some smutty chapters coming up, which I am excited to share because I do love writing sexy Gojo X comments are always appreciated! 

- - - 

( Three Years Ago)

You cleared the plates in front of you as you made your way back to your kitchen. You packed the meal that you had taken the time to meticulously prepare, including the expensive steaks you bought this morning and the vegetables that you hand picked at the farmer’s market. As you opened the fridge to put away the items, you saw the row of vanilla cupcakes placed neatly on a pan, your shaky handwriting spread across each one that read “ Five Years ” with red hearts decorated on the extras. Suddenly, it all seemed silly how you took the time to prepare a surprise anniversary dinner for your boyfriend. You’ve both been together for so long but you still insisted on making every occasion special.

After you tidied up your dining table, you picked up the wine glass you have been nursing for the last hour and made your way over to your bedroom, where you sat on the chair next to your vanity. You removed the earrings that your boyfriend had bought you for your birthday, your favorite pair because they matched beautifully against your skin, and safely tucked them away in your jewelry box. You were disappointed that you made such a big deal out of tonight, feeling like a sentimental fool as you took a sip of your drink. Haru has been so preoccupied with work lately and the pressure of being in a highly competitive field was getting to him. Of course with the way things have been he wouldn’t remember that tonight was your anniversary dinner. You were trying to be mature about it but you couldn’t ignore that you were hurt. You glanced at your phone, reading 10:45 on the clock before finally giving up on the hope that he would show up.

You removed the dress you were wearing, a bold shade of orange that accentuated your body in all the right places - a dress that he bought you while you both went on a summer trip to Okinawa a few years ago. You changed into something a little more comfortable, throwing on a tank top and some loose lounge pants instead.

You heard your phone ping, a message popping up on the screen from Gojo.

Gojo : How did the dinner go?

You sighed to yourself, before plopping down onto your mattress. You tapped away at the keyboard, erasing each message a few times as you were unsure whether you wanted to vent or give him a brief explanation.

You : It didn’t…I think he’s still at work :(

Gojo : That sucks :\ Well, if you have any leftover cupcakes, I will gladly take them off your hands.

You: Nice try, idiot.

Gojo: I didn’t hear you say I couldn’t have any :)

When you didn’t respond to his message, Gojo followed up with another text that read:

Gojo: You okay?

You: I’m fine, I was just looking forward to tonight. I’ll get over myself. Tell me about your night, you can keep me preoccupied from my disappointment lol

Gojo merely responded with some eye emojis, a cheeky indication as to what he has been up to this evening.

You: At least one of us got some action...what’s her name?

Gojo: No idea, I was too distracted by her legs to care.  

You merely rolled your eyes at his comment.

You: It doesn’t take much to get you going, does it?

Gojo: I’m a simple guy, really…

You: …

Gojo: …

You: In WHAT universe?!

Gojo : Pshh, so mean to me all the time :(

You: With reason :)

You smiled when you sent that last text, grateful that Gojo came in at the right time with a distraction. You tried your best not to dwell on the dismal way your evening ended and instead continued to list off the many reasons why the word “simple” and “Gojo Satoru” did not go hand and hand with each other. Your conversation made time fly but that was usually the case whenever you spoke with your friend.

You were so lost in the playfully heated debate you were having, you barely heard the knock coming from your front door.

You abandoned your conversation to see who it was, surprised to find a massive bouquet of flowers greeting you on the other side.

“What…”

Haru peaked from behind the flowers, his sweet smile spreading as he looked at you with sad eyes.

“Happy anniversary!” he chirped, but you could hear the anxiousness in his tone. “ I know I’m late, I know I missed dinner…”

A deep sigh escaped him, as he slightly slumped his shoulders, extending both his hands out to you to pass the bouquet.

“I know this is a meaningless gift in comparison to whatever amazing thing you prepared, I know my efforts don’t even come close to yours, you always put so much care into everything you do. By the time I knew I was late, I was running around the city like a mad man hoping that someone, anyone, would be kind enough to open their shop for me so I would at least not come back empty handed…”

“Haru, take a breath…” you replied, hearing how quickly he was blurting out his words, something he usually did when he was nervous.

You took the bouquet from his hands, admiring the selected assortment of your favorite florals, all picked out by your boyfriend. You traced your fingers along each petal, some a little bruised and you could tell that these flowers were from  the leftovers of the day.

Haru approached you, cupping your face in his hands as he leaned down and planted a kiss on your lips.

“I’m so sorry . None of my excuses justify missing dinner tonight. I swear I am going to make it up to you…”

You tried to calm him down, running your fingers through his light brown hair and taking in every word he said as you remained focused on his hazel eyes. Your heart flutters thinking of him galavanting around the city in his disheveled work suit trying to knock on every florists’ door, a funny anecdote you will surely use against him in the future.  

“How do you plan on making it up to me?” You teased, noticing the way his brow raised at your question.

He pulled you closer into him, planting kisses along your neck before he brushed his lips against your ear to say, “I’m taking the weekend off, how does a nice trip to Hakone sound?”

“ Mmm, ideal… ” you replied, clutching the bouquet of flowers as he hugged you, “but if you keep holding me close, you’re going to ruin this lovely gift you bought me…”

“Then I’ll buy you another, and another, and another ...until I’ve given you enough flowers so that you can plant an entire garden,” he kissed you again, his fingers stroking the back of your neck as he pressed his forehead against yours.

“I’m so sorry, baby…” he repeated, his voice wavering slightly from his second apology.

“It’s okay, work comes first. I know you have been busy and probably should have planned our evening with you instead of surprising you. But you’re here now and that's what matters.”

He nodded his head, finally untangling himself from your arms, relieved that you seemed to have forgiven him.

“ I love you so much.”

“ I love you too, Haru .”

You gave him a small smile, tilting your head towards the direction of your kitchen, “It might be too late for dinner but I baked you some cupcakes if you’re up for a little snack…”

Haru removed his blazer, carefully hanging it over his elbow before undoing the first few buttons of his shirt. He held your hand, following your footsteps as you led him into the direction of your kitchen.

“ I can’t wait to try them. ”

( Present)

“ You brought me here under false pretences …” Gojo grumbled, holding himself back as you tugged on his jacket.

It’s been four months since the two of you started hooking up and weeks since he and Rina have even spoken to one another.

After Gojo confessed that she knew about your relationship, you managed to find the time to sit down with your best friend for a heart to heart. The two of you had a ritual which included locking yourselves up in a room with snacks  and drinks until you came to resolve whatever conflict you were dealing with.

“I just don’t understand why you kept this from me,” Rina explained, before taking a sip of the mixed cocktail you both made.

“ You’ve been so overprotective ever since Haru and I broke up…it’s hard for me to talk to you because you start analyzing every little thing I do. Like when I told you I wanted to stop dating for a while, you kept insisting that I was making a mistake because I was running scared…”

“I also know you’re a hopeless romantic, and a few bad dates weren’t fitting this idealised version you have of love…” Rina pressed, “You got lucky with Haru, but diving back into the game takes time and work…”

“I know I was lucky. I know it’s not usual for the first guy you meet to be so… good ,” you replied, that word tasting bitter in your mouth, “But you keep pressuring me into something I am not ready for…”

“That’s not true!”

“Rina, you would take me out on “surprise” double dates when the two of us were just supposed to just be hanging out together. Whenever I talk about Haru, you shut down and change the subject immediately. I can’t even have a night out together without you herding every single eligible male and asking me my opinion…”

Rina sighed, “it sounds way worse when you say it out loud...”

“It’s like you can’t stand that I’m just… a little broken . I let Haru become a part of who I am for five years and losing him feels like I lost a part of me, and I am struggling trying to get that person back. You want me to be okay so badly it’s stopping me from opening up to you…”

Rina inched her way closer as the two of you sat side by side. A sigh escaped her before she spoke, “I’m not good at this…I’m sorry for making you feel that way. I just can’t stand seeing you so hurt. I know that he took a piece of your happiness and I am so angry that he did. I hate that he betrayed your trust, but more so that you haven’t been able to be yourself without him…”

She squeezed your shoulder before giving you a gentle reminder, “but he never defined you. You’re attaching yourself to the love you had for him. And you will find somebody else, somebody better …”

“Maybe but I can’t see myself falling in love again…at least not anytime soon…”

Rina rested her head on your elbow, “I don’t want you to ever think you can’t speak to me…we’ve lasted way longer than all the exes that have walked in and out of our lives…”

You were happy to mend this small fracture, one of the many that has tried to hinder your friendship.

You eventually explained your little arrangement with Gojo, watching Rina’s reaction closely and trying to pull the truth of what she  exactly  said to him.

“I may have thought you were dating, like seriously dating, and told him he wasn’t good enough for you. I am glad to know that you are not. We don’t need to trade one man whore for another…”

You laughed, “Gojo has always made it clear that he has no desire to commit to anyone. I’m not worried. Besides, we can stop our arrangement anytime we are over it.��

“Sooo, when might that be?”

You shrugged your shoulders, “right now, I’m having fun and I think he is too…”

Rina hummed, you could tell she was thinking about something but whatever ran through her mind in that moment she chose to keep to herself.

Even though you and Rina smoothed things over, you realised that neither she or Gojo tried to make an effort to speak to one another. He was avoiding her at all costs while she chose to ignore  the subject entirely. You still had no idea what was said that set those two off but you were over this cold game they were playing.

“Between your inability to handle any confrontation and her stubborn attitude, you two are going to drag this on for way longer than it needs to be…” you lectured.

You paused when you arrived at her store, staring up at Gojo with pleading eyes. “I don’t like being the reason why you two aren’t speaking… please just talk to her…”

Gojo whined, “throw it on my conscience instead, that way you have no reason to feel guilty…”

You furrowed your brows before letting go of him, but a thought passed your mind which gave you an idea, “Remember that thing you brought up the other night? Your little roleplaying idea…”

Gojo arched his brows from underneath his blindfold, surprised that you were even bringing this up. “ Yes… ”

You smirked, stepping closer to him without actually touching him at all. “If you do this for me then I'll happily return the favor…”

His eyes widened, his heart racing slightly as a wave of excitement rushed through him.

You could see he was contemplating your offer, finally scoffing in defeat. “You know saying no to you was a lot easier when you weren’t bribing me with sex…” he grumbled, as he begrudgingly walked passed you.

“You did tell me once that you were a man of simple taste…”

“And I vividly remember you disagreeing with me.”

“Thank you!” You called out watching him reach the handle of the entrance door.

“Just know I am expecting you to hold up your end of the deal,” he replied before making his way inside.

***

Gojo sat at the counter, the awkward silence hung heavy in the air as Rina waited for him to break the tension. When that didn’t happen, she sighed to herself before storming to the backroom of her shop.

Gojo waited for her return, his eyes widening when she finally reappeared with something in her hands.

“ I’m sorry for how I spoke to you,” she said, bowing in his direction and handing him some treats.

“Aww, Rina-chan, how did you know kikufuku was my favorite?” Gojo questioned, his tone softening his sweet words as he held the packet between his fingers.

“I heard it through the grapevine…”

Gojo couldn’t hide his pleasured grin.

You were always so considerate of everyone, going above and beyond to make them happy and paying close attention to the things they liked the most. You must have already spoken to Rina before he came here, playing the role of matchmaker between friends.

Rina definitely noticed his response.

“Thank you,” he replied as he opened up the packet, “I know your anger was coming from a protective place. I don’t fault you for it. Besides, you and I can happily agree on one thing…”

“What’s that?”

Gojo smirked, “she’s too good for me…”

Rina swallowed hard, mainly because of how sincere that statement actually sounded.

“I care about her…”

Gojo hummed to himself, taking a bite of the sweet snack. “And you think I don’t?”

“Can I be honest?”

“ Please. ”

“I am not questioning your care for her, I am questioning what your intentions are. I won’t apologize for not trusting you.  You promised me after she broke up with Haru that you wouldn’t make a move on her but here we are now…”

“I kept my promise.”

“You found a loophole…”

“It’s been three years…she’s allowed to move on.”

“Yes she is…”

“You know, I was surprised by how angry you got at her for keeping us a secret, especially since we both know that there are plenty of things you’re hiding from her right now. Then I started thinking that it wasn’t the secret that was bothering you, you just don’t want her moving on with me…”

Rina averted her gaze, completely surprised by how easily Gojo read her.

“Like I said, I don’t trust you…”

He leaned forward to rest his elbows on the counter, “What did Haru tell you exactly?”

“Why are you asking?”

“I just want to know if you’re still adamant on convincing yourself that I am the bad guy or if you would like to know what actually happened between us…”

*** 

CHAPTER 12 - MUSE

[c0rpsedemon]

hiiii can u please advise me on where to start with reading arthuriana ? i am fascinated by it and love it very much , but i just read arthurian encyclopedias and such … i would like to read actual texts if that makes sense . thank u :-)

!!!!!! don't worry you make perfect sense and i'd absolutely love to give you a few starter text recommendations, i'm going to link ways to read all of them online bc physical copies are uh. incredibly hard to come by for most texts. also, brace yourself for fifty wildly different variants of each name, usually there's some sort of appendix you can read to know who's who, or you can rely on context clues.

first off i legally have to recommend the byelorussian tristan bc it's. kinda a part of my brand. and my favorite book... ever, even outside of arthurian stuff. it's believed to be one of, if not the last entry in the arthurian canon, and certainly in the tristian canon, and it's so good. it's a retelling of a lost slavic text that was a retelling of tavola ritonda, the italian retelling of the prose tristan. it's really well-written and the only version of the tristan and isolde story where they both get to live, highlights include galehalt basically asking tristan to join his marriage (i say marriage in reference to his relationship with lancelot bc theyre kinda. uh. bfs would be an understatement), palomydes having two swords (it's bc he's That skilled at fighting and also bc he's bisexual) as well as lending one of those swords to tristan, galahad briefly showing up to fight tristan and lancelot, then getting embarrassed that he fought his dad and just? dying or something?? and the worst kei name variant out there (geush.....). overall, i have to recommend this one bc if it had been my starter text i know i would have immediately read every medieval text i could find, and bc it's the text that actually made me like tristan.

also i'd like to note that tavola ritonda, the byelorussian tristan's italian predecessor is pretty good if i remember correctly, i never finished it bc i got busy with school stuff but i know i liked what i did read of it and that a lot of arthurian tumblr would recommend it. if i wasn't on green knight lockdown i'd probably pick it back up right now.

other tristan-related recs include chevrefoil by marie de france, it's incredibly short and makes me kinda sad for unknown reasons, it's also what got me invested in tristan and isolde's relationship, strassburg's tristan, yet another text i started and then dropped bc of school related reasons, i remember i liked what i read of it though, trystan and esyllt, a welsh tristan and isolde text which is. incredibly different from the normal tristan and isolde story, but it's short, lighthearted and fun in the way welsh texts are, and uhhhh the prose tristan which i mentioned earlier, i've read the whole thing and it didn't really stand out to me (albeit its been a while) but it's what most people will point you to if you want to get into tristan and isolde.

stepping away from tristan and isolde, there's culwch and olwen, which is believed to be the first arthurian text, it's kinda short and fun in the way that welsh texts always are, it's about this kid whose stepmother cursed him to only be able to marry the daughter of this giant, who will never let her marry bc there's some curse that says he'll die on her wedding day, so the giant gives this giant list of impossible tasks and arthur, culwch, kei and co. set out to do them and only like. 3. are actually mentioned more than once. it's fun and i like welsh kei.

next are the dutch texts which are. so good. they're so good. they're all right here bc i don't feel like linking each different one. my first rec is lancelot and the hart with the white foot, which, despite being named after lancelot, is really about gawaine. it's short and fun and the remarkable (lancelot x gawaine) fans adore it. next is the roman van walewein which is. absolutely off the rails. basically this magic chessboard shows up in arthur's court and walewein (gawaine) has to go after it, he ends up murdering a bunch of people, there's a talking fox who tries to steal gawaine's armor, gawaine gets thrown in his love-interest-of-the-week's torture dungeon, which has a secret tunnel connecting it to said love interest's rooms which she apparently had the arcitect of drowned (which is treated like a perfectly fine and normal thing by the text btw) where they presumably do bdsm or something, gringolet (gawaine's horse) kills a dragon with his hooves, it's wild. then there's walewein ende keye, kei tries to get rid of gawaine, gawaine goes and proves his honor, kei gets banished, gawine's a bit of an unlikable prick in this one but it's entertaining. and then there's morien, it's about this 13 year old who shows up looking for his deadbeat dad and gawaine and lancelot help him out, gawaine hijacks the plot but it gets back to morien by the end, also they have to rescue arthur. there are more dutch texts but these are just my favorites.

this has gotten longer than i originally intended so uhhh there's lanval by marie de france which is short. guinnevere's homophobic but in a funny way.

then there are the big famous ones and why they're bad starter texts, le morte de arthur and sir gawain and the green knight. le morte's giant and in middle english, if you must read it go for a translation, i've heard good things about this one but i haven't read it, overall it's not that good, especially in comparison with the vulgate and alliterative morte, don't read it unless you're already familiar with med lit and really invested in the characters, it's good for the book of gareth and a few short parts but overall kinda eh. as for sgatgk, it's just not a good first gawaine text bc he's so wildly different than he is in literally everything else, here are a ton of translations, it's best to go into it with the point of view that it was his first quest and looking for the themes and symbolism (gawaine fox motif my beloved) instead of the common approach which is looking for the gay kisses bc you'll get a lot more out of it that way.

i'd also like to anti recommend a solid 3/4s of modern arthuriana, especially anything derived from the *nce and f*ture k*ng by th wh*te or the m*sts of av*lon by m*rion z*mmer br*dley bc jfc those two have done. so much harm. to the genre. "modern" works i'd recommend usually tend more towards victorian poetry, highlights including anything by tennyson that doesn't involve tristan and isolde bc he has bad takes on them, but especially his stuff regarding elayne of astolat/the lady of shallot, bedevere, and gareth and lynnette, as well as everything by william morris but especially sir galahad a christmas mystery and palomydes's quest. you can find pretty much any victorian poem on the camelot project so i'm not going to go looking for them. also i've heard good things about ea robinson's poetry. but despite the few good modern works out there, it's best to get rid of all pop-culture based notions of what arthuriana is before you go into the actual canon.

i feel like i'm going to remember at least three texts i left out like an idiot but this has gotten long enough, if you have anymore questions just ask i absolutely love introducing people to arthuriana.

[zsweber-studios]

Hey, how old are the protags in Pokemon Sword & Shield?

So, ever since I got the game last year, I’ve been debating this left and right, and I really don’t have an answer but I feel like I need to share this information with someone, anyone, because it feels a lot like that scene in It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, with the strings and Pepe Silvia.

Yeah, that one.

Anyways, lets get started with character design: comparing Victor and Gloria (the protags) to the rest of the Pokemon Protag list, they still hit me as very young, but how young is hard to place. We know that B/W//B2W2 crew were both older, and as far as those go, they sort of line up with the B2W2 crew, but even then that could just be artistic design and style.

What cannot be considered artistic design and style, though, are the in-game character models--and with those models, the core four of Hop, Victor/Gloria, Marnie, and Bede are all around the same height (suggesting similar age range) and all just slightly shorter than Leon, maybe by a couple inches. By comparison, Leon’s Charizard is also a decent bit shorter than him whenever they’re together in the overworld, which is appropriate, since canon Leon is 6′ and canon Charizard is 5′7″.

So, by all accounts, it sounds like the core four are probably mid-teens, right? Well...here’s where things get complicated.

According to the games, Leon became Champion of Galar for the first time ten years ago when he was 10--the usual age for youngsters to start out. As such, Leon is now 20 years old, and if we are to believe that the standard age for a youth to start their Pokemon journey has stayed consistent, then Hop should then also be 10 years old. And that...doesn’t feel right?

Like, if Hop is 10, then how is he almost as tall as his brother already? The average age of a ten-year-old boy is around 4′6″--which is consistent with most of the other PokeProtags, specifically Gens 3 and 4--but since Charizard pops up in the overworld so much trailing along Leon, it’s pretty clear that Charizard is as tall if not shorter than the core four.

Now, you could argue that since Hop already has a partner Pokemon in the form of Wooloo when you start your adventure, he likely got that Pokemon at age 10. Then, due to the fact that Leon is a bit hesitant to let him onto the Pokemon League competition, he was restricted from joining the Pokemon journey until he was older--but for what reason? Leon started at 10 and look at how impressive he’s become!

And on top of that, look at the last generation! Leon, Sonia, and Raihan were apparently the trio of characters in their generation, and according to what we’ve already said before, they all started when they were 10 and are now 20...but it doesn’t feel like it when I see their models? Raihan and Leon especially don’t look like they’re 20, they look like they’re well into their twenties, between their more mature facial features and Leon’s half-beard.

I just...I have all these strings, and nothing to connect them together. How big is the age gap between the first gen and the core four? Is it ten years, and the core four all just happen to be a full foot taller than the rest of the kids their age? Is it five years, and all ten-year-olds in Galar suddenly weren’t allowed to attempt the Pokemon League until they were older for some reason?

Or did Leon start his adventure when he was 10, and because of his poor direction skills it took him five years to find the Pokemon League and become champion, so they held off on letting other Pokemon trainers start their adventures until they were in their mid-teens and have decent navigational skills developed so they don’t get lost in the Wild Area for five years again? And that’s why Hop is so feral to start his adventure, because he’s been forced to wait an extra five years because his brother got lost in the wilderness as a baby trainer???

WHAT IS THE TRUTH???

[aboveallarescuer]

Daenerys Targaryen in A Storm of Swords vs Game of Thrones - Episode 4.1: Two Swords

In this series of posts, I intend to analyze precisely how the show writers downplayed or erased several key aspects of Daenerys Targaryen’s characterization, even when they had the books to help them write her as the compelling, intelligent, compassionate, frugal, open-minded and self-critical character that GRRM created.

I want to make it clear that these posts are not primarily meant to offer a better alternative to what the show writers gave us. I understand that they had many constraints (e.g. other storylines to handle, a limited amount of time to write the scripts, budget, actors who may have asked for a certain number of lines, etc) working against them. However, considering how disrespectful the show’s ending was to Daenerys Targaryen and how the book material that they left out makes it even more ludicrous to think that she will also become a villain in A Song of Ice and Fire, I believe that these reviews are more than warranted. They are meant to dissect everything about Dany’s characterization that was lost in translation, with a lot of book evidence to corroborate my statements.

Since these reviews will dissect scene by scene, I recommend taking a look at this post because I will use its sequence to order Dany’s scenes.

This post is relevant in case you want to know which chapters were adapted in which GoT episodes (however, I didn’t make the list myself, all the information comes from the GoT Wiki, so I can’t guarantee that it’s 100% reliable).

In general, I will call the Dany from the books “Dany” and the Dany from the TV series “show!Dany”.

Scene 1

While seeing show!Dany with her dragons is always enjoyable on its own, I have some problems with this moment. The first is that we'll begin season four with show!Dany worrying about her dragons' behavior here and, later, end it with her locking two of her dragons away. These scenes don't focus as much on show!Dany herself as they focus on her relationship with her dragons, which I think is quite a problem in comparison to how ASOS and ADWD (which will be the book that the writers will adapt starting from episode 4.6) begin and end:

Dany begins ASOS hopeful and happy that she's finally going to Westeros. She ends the book disillusioned because her efforts to help the former slaves didn't pay off like she expected, so she calls off her dreams of home in order to stay and fulfill (what she thinks is) her moral duty as queen. 

Dany begins ADWD distraught because she's still dealing with the nobility's backlash and retaliation against her authority even now that she has tried to be conciliatory and rule in peace. She ends the book a) disabused of the notion that peace is possible and b) directing her eyes to Westeros again.

As we can see, these two books begin and end displaying Dany's multiple dilemmas: home vs duty, other people vs herself, peace vs war, conciliation vs use of force and so on.

In the show, while her last scene in the season four finale at least highlights her compassion towards her people, I'd argue it still mainly focuses on her relationship with her dragons (which is only one of many issues that Dany deals with in the books) rather than on grappling with the questions above in a way that centers primarily on show!Dany herself, like the books do with Dany.

My second problem is that having show!Dany be concerned about her dragons' behavior that much earlier than in the books poses another problem:

In ADWD, Dany ultimately failed in protecting her human children during her tenure because she chose peace with the slavers and was, therefore, detached from her dragon children, from her Targaryen heritage and from her identity as the Mother of Dragons. By meeting Drogon again, getting in touch with who she was and choosing fire and blood (war), she will be able to protect her people again and be a better mhysa. Ultimately, mother of dragons and mhysa are complementary parts of who Dany is.

In the show, however, the dragons begin to seem troublesome before we get to Meereen, before show!Dany begins to rule and before the issue of peace vs war becomes a major dilemma for her. This happened for two reasons: a) D&D are bad writers who dismiss themes as only being necessary for eighth-grade book reports (here, I imagine they probably just wanted to add more shock value to show!Dany's plotline) and b)  D&D think that peace = good (even if it privileges a status quo that normalizes slavery) and war = bad, so killing slavers = bad, dragons = bad and continuing on with an anti-slavery revolution = bad (failure to understand reason 1 of why Dany's storyline matters).

My third problem is that, in the books, it's clear that what really upsets Dany is not that the dragons are eating goats, but rather that, as they grow and become more independent, the chances of her dragons a) hurting other people or b) running away increase:

“They have been wild while you were gone, Khaleesi,” Irri told her. “Viserion clawed splinters from the door, do you see? And Drogon made to escape when the slaver men came to see them. When I grabbed his tail to hold him back, he turned and bit me.” She showed Dany the marks of his teeth on her hand.

“Did any of them try to burn their way free?” That was the thing that frightened Dany the most.

“No, Khaleesi. Drogon breathed his fire, but in the empty air. The slaver men feared to come near him.”

She kissed Irri’s hand where Drogon had bitten it. “I’m sorry he hurt you. Dragons are not meant to be locked up in a small ship’s cabin.” (ASOS Daenerys II)

~

There was no sign of Viserion, but when she went to the parapet and scanned the horizon she saw pale wings in the far distance, sweeping above the river. He is hunting. They grow bolder every day. Yet it still made her anxious when they flew too far away. One day one of them may not return, she thought. (ASOS Daenerys VI)

~

Her dragons were growing wild of late. Rhaegal had snapped at Irri, and Viserion had set Reznak’s tokar ablaze the last time the seneschal had called. I have left them too much to themselves, but where am I to find the time for them? (ADWD Daenerys I)

~

If I look back, I am doomed, Dany told herself … but how could she not look back? I should have seen it coming. Was I so blind, or did I close my eyes willfully, so I would not have to see the price of power?

[...] At Astapor the slaver's eyes had melted. On the road to Yunkai, when Daario tossed the heads of Sallor the Bald and Prendahl na Ghezn at her feet, her children made a feast of them. Dragons had no fear of men. And a dragon large enough to gorge on sheep could take a child just as easily. (ADWD Daenerys II)

Before what happened to Hazzea, she was okay with the fact that they were hunting and devouring sheep:

Viserion sensed her disquiet. [...] “You should be hunting with your brothers. Have you and Drogon been fighting again?” (ADWD Daenerys I)

~

Her dragons had grown too large to be content with rats and cats and dogs. The more they eat, the larger they will grow, Ser Barristan had warned her, and the larger they grow, the more they’ll eat. Drogon especially ranged far afield and could easily devour a sheep a day. (ADWD Daenerys I)

Basically, this is my way of saying that, if they needed to have a scene where show!Dany is uneasy about what the dragons were doing, they should've shown them almost harming one of the people in her retinue or something along those lines (rather than being shocked at seeing them hunt and eat), for that would showcase her empathy like in the books.

My fourth problem with this scene is that we see part of it from show!Jorah's point of view:

JORAH: They’re dragons, Khaleesi. They can never be tamed. Not even by their mother.

In the show, he gets the first line of show!Dany's season four storyline, he gets to be anxious about the dragons before show!Dany is (which undermines how reflective she is in the books) and he is the one who warns her of their wildness when, in the books, she is aware of it without anyone having to tell her. It's another subtle way of undermining show!Dany's agency in comparison to her book counterpart, unfortunately.

My fifth and final problem is that, well, this scene was written by the same people who thought that it was necessary to have show!Dany's dragons taken from her in season two (which never happened in ACOK) and show her going "back to being a really frightened little girl" because she is "so defined" by them. It's the opposite in the books: the dragons only turned into weapons to fight against slavery because of her choices. So, with that in mind, I don't like how they made them so important in her first and last scenes of the season when they never were in the books. And all of this conflict feels superfluous in retrospect, when one remembers that show!Dany doesn't struggle to control them in the last three seasons at all.

*

DAENERYS: Ser Barristan.

BARRISTAN: Your Grace.

DAENERYS: Where’s Daario Naharis? Where’s Grey Worm?

BARRISTAN: Gambling, Your Grace.

DAENERYS: Gambling?

I have problems with how show!Barristan and show!Dany are being portrayed here because it feels like the show writers switched their characterizations when we consider what we know of them in the books.

First, why is show!Barristan holding his laughter about this situation? In the books, Barristan clearly dislikes Daario and his influence on Dany:

On the day that he returned from his latest sortie, he had tossed the head of a Yunkish lord at her feet and kissed her in the hall for all the world to see, until Barristan Selmy pulled the two of them apart. Ser Grandfather had been so wroth that Dany feared blood might be shed. (ADWD Daenerys VII)

~

“This is your gift? A scrap of writing?” Daario snatched the parchment out of the Dornishman’s hands and unrolled it, squinting at the seals and signatures. “Very pretty, all the gold and ribbons, but I do not read your Westerosi scratchings.”

“Bring it to the queen,” Ser Barristan commanded. “Now.” (ADWD Daenerys VII)

~

“...Poor Daario, her brave captain … she will never forget him, no … but better for all of us if he is dead, yes? Better for Daenerys too.”

Better for Daenerys, and for Westeros. Daenerys Targaryen loved her captain, but that was the girl in her, not the queen. [...]

Her love for Daario is poison. A slower poison than the locusts, but in the end as deadly. (ADWD The Kingbreaker)

Now, Barristan is a product of his misogynistic society and I do think he's wrong for thinking (in the last quote above) that Dany's love for Daario is a sign of immaturity, but my point here is that he wouldn't be laughing about something that Daario was doing behind Dany's back; in fact, he would've most likely informed her as soon as he learned about it because he respects her authority.

Additionally, he's known for lacking a sense of humor and not being relaxed, which makes this scene even more OOC for him:

The old knight was a good man, but sometimes very literal. It was only a jape, ser, she thought, but she sat on one of the pillows just the same. (ADWD Daenerys II)

~

“She needs a spear,” Ser Barristan said, as Barsena vaulted over the beast’s second charge. “That is no way to fight a boar.” He sounded like someone’s fussy old grandsire, just as Daario was always saying. (ADWD Daenerys IX)

Second, why is show!Dany being portrayed as the uptight one here? In the chapter that they are drawing from, there are several moments displaying her carefree side:

“Five, were there? Well, that’s a confusion. I could not give you a number, my queen. This old Plumm was a lord, though, must have been a famous fellow in his day, the talk of all the land. The thing was, begging your royal pardon, he had himself a cock six foot long.”

The three bells in Dany’s braid tinkled when she laughed. “You mean inches, I think.”

“Feet,” Brown Ben said firmly. “If it was inches, who’d want to talk about it, now? Your Grace.”

Dany giggled like a little girl. (ASOS Daenerys V)

~

He tried to spare me the sight of the dead children too. He should not have done that, but he meant it kindly. And Daario Naharis made her laugh, which Ser Jorah never did. (ASOS Daenerys V)

Besides admiring Daario's sense of humor and swagger, Dany also appreciates that she can let go of the burdens of queenship (and luxury) and be more spontaneous and frugal when she's with him:

In Meereen I was a queen in silk, nibbling on stuffed dates and honeyed lamb, she remembered. What would my noble husband think if he could see me now? Hizdahr would be horrified, no doubt. But Daario ...

Daario would laugh, carve off a hunk of horsemeat with his arakh, and squat down to eat beside her. (ADWD Daenerys X)

Unfortunately, the show never allows any of those aspects of Dany's characterization to come across onscreen because the writers wanted show!Dany to appear very stoic, which we know because Emilia's said in an interview that they wanted her to "sit up straight and don't smile, you're not funny", which is quite a shame; not only the writers would've been more faithful to the books by allowing her to smile and laugh and enjoy herself, it would've made show!Dany more endearing.

Ultimately, I think the change in these characters comes down to a) D&D not really understanding any of the characters of the books and b) their sexist assumptions that men are funnier than women and that powerful women are all ice queens.

*

I also need to talk about how show!Dany's connection to the Dothraki, the Unsullied and the freedmen is being undermined onscreen in comparison to what we get solely from ASOS Daenerys V.

In the show, the Dothraki only appear briefly in the background of this episode to never be seen again through the rest of season four and the entirety of season five.

In ASOS Daenerys V, we see how Dany's time with the Dothraki influenced her when she judges the slavers' reaction to her army or assesses the way that Oznak fights:

They are pissing on slaves, to show how little they fear us, she thought. They would never dare such a thing if it were a Dothraki khalasar outside their gates. (ASOS Daenerys V)

~

Oznak zo Pahl charged a third time, and now Dany could see plainly that he was riding past Belwas, the way a Westerosi knight might ride at an opponent in a tilt, rather than at him, like a Dothraki riding down a foe. (ASOS Daenerys V)

We also see her interacting with her khalasar and considering that her bloodriders a) are too important to send to fight against Oznak and b) aren't the most adequate men to send to Meereen's sewers:

Her bloodriders were in such a fever to go meet him that they almost came to blows. “Blood of my blood,” Dany told them, “your place is here by me. This man is a buzzing fly, no more. Ignore him, he will soon be gone.” Aggo, Jhogo, and Rakharo were brave warriors, but they were young, and too valuable to risk. They kept her khalasar together, and were her best scouts too. (ASOS Daenerys V)

~

“When cowards hide behind great walls, it is they who are defeated, Khaleesi,” Ko Jhogo said.

Her other bloodriders concurred. “Blood of my blood,” said Rakharo, “when cowards hide and burn the food and fodder, great khals must seek for braver foes. This is known.”

“It is known,” Jhiqui agreed, as she poured.

“Not to me.” (ASOS Daenerys V)

~

“These sewers do not sound promising.” Grey Worm would lead his Unsullied down the sewers if she commanded it, she knew; her bloodriders would do no less. But none of them was suited to the task. The Dothraki were horsemen, and the strength of the Unsullied was their discipline on the battlefield. Can I send men to die in the dark on such a slender hope? (ASOS Daenerys V)

So, despite not getting enough characterization to be set apart as their own individuals because of GRRM's racism, the Dothraki people's influence on Dany's decision-making is still clear. Unfortunately, this is completely absent from the show.

On HBO, when show!Dany passes by the Unsullied, they are shown standing still in silent ranks for no reason while their commander show!Grey Worm is on a contest against show!Daario because the writers wanted it to happen, even though it doesn't gel with his characterization (more on that later).

In ASOS Daenerys V, when Dany passes by the Unsullied, a) they are shown separated in groups that are either training (along with Grey Worm) or bathing and b) we get information on their hygiene practices:

As they rode past the stakes and pits that surrounded the eunuch encampment, Dany could hear Grey Worm and his sergeants running one company through a series of drills with shield, shortsword, and heavy spear. Another company was bathing in the sea, clad only in white linen breechclouts. The eunuchs were very clean, she had noticed. Some of her sellswords smelled as if they had not washed or changed their clothes since her father lost the Iron Throne, but the Unsullied bathed each evening, even if they’d marched all day. When no water was available they cleansed themselves with sand, the Dothraki way. (ASOS Daenerys V)

It's lovely to see Dany returning the Unsullied's greeting, which is another example of how she (relatively speaking) sees lowborn people as equals to her: 

The eunuchs knelt as she passed, raising clenched fists to their breasts. Dany returned the salute. (ASOS Daenerys V)

We also get to see the Unsullied cheer for Belwas after he won his duel:

The besiegers gave him a raucous welcome as soon as he reached the camp. Her Dothraki hooted and screamed, and the Unsullied sent up a great clangor by banging their spears against their shields. (ASOS Daenerys V)

We get to see Grey Worm openly objecting to Daario's suggestion that the Unsullied are immune to the boiling oil that the slavers would probably throw at them if they tried to storm the gates. While he and the Unsullied would still do this if Dany had given them the command, this is a subtle sign of his character development because it displays that, unlike with the slave masters, he's at least now able to speak out about the risks that he and his men would face:

 “...We can storm the gates with axes, to be sure, but ...”

“Did you see them bronze heads above the gates?” asked Brown Ben Plumm. “Rows of harpy heads with open mouths? The Meereenese can squirt boiling oil out them mouths, and cook your axemen where they stand.”

Daario Naharis gave Grey Worm a smile. “Perhaps the Unsullied should wield the axes. Boiling oil feels like no more than a warm bath to you, I have heard.”

“This is false.” Grey Worm did not return the smile. “These ones do not feel burns as men do, yet such oil blinds and kills. The Unsullied do not fear to die, though. Give these ones rams, and we will batter down these gates or die in the attempt.” (ASOS Daenerys V)

And then, we see Dany deciding not to endanger the Unsullied's lives (similar to how she sought to prevent too many former slaves of Astapor from dying in the battle of Yunkai), which highlights both her compassion and her intelligence (since she shows knowledge of the Unsullied's particular strengths to conclude that they shouldn't be sent to the sewers):

Dany sighed. “I will not throw away Unsullied lives, Grey Worm. (ASOS Daenerys V)

~

“These sewers do not sound promising.” Grey Worm would lead his Unsullied down the sewers if she commanded it, she knew; her bloodriders would do no less. But none of them was suited to the task. The Dothraki were horsemen, and the strength of the Unsullied was their discipline on the battlefield. Can I send men to die in the dark on such a slender hope? (ASOS Daenerys V)

Sadly, the show ignores all of this.

On HBO, show!Dany walked past the freedmen on her way to meet show!Daario.

In ASOS Daenerys V, Dany chose to go meet the freedmen because she didn't want to spend time distracted by her feelings for Daario:

“Missandei,” she called, “have my silver saddled. Your own mount as well.”

The little scribe bowed. “As Your Grace commands. Shall I summon your bloodriders to guard you?”

“We’ll take Arstan. I do not mean to leave the camps.” She had no enemies among her children. (ASOS Daenerys V)

We learn that the fighting men were provided with weapons from the other two cities and were now being trained (though not at the particular moment that she chose to meet them):

South of the ordered realm of stakes, pits, drills, and bathing eunuchs lay the encampments of her freedmen, a far noisier and more chaotic place. Dany had armed the former slaves as best she could with weapons from Astapor and Yunkai, and Ser Jorah had organized the fighting men into four strong companies, yet she saw no one drilling here. (ASOS Daenerys V)

Besides the fighting men, we also get information on children and women:

They passed a driftwood fire where a hundred people had gathered to roast the carcass of a horse. She could smell the meat and hear the fat sizzling as the spit boys turned, but the sight only made her frown.

Children ran behind their horses, skipping and laughing. [...]

Dany had stopped to speak to a pregnant woman who wanted the Mother of Dragons to name her baby[.] (ASOS Daenerys V)

Then, there's also how the freedmen perceive and act around Dany:

Some of the freedmen greeted her as “Mother,” while others begged for boons or favors. Some prayed for strange gods to bless her, and some asked her to bless them instead. She smiled at them, turning right and left, touching their hands when they raised them, letting those who knelt reach up to touch her stirrup or her leg. Many of the freedmen believed there was good fortune in her touch. If it helps give them courage, let them touch me, she thought. There are hard trials yet ahead ... (ASOS Daenerys V)

Instead of believing that she has a "glorious destiny" (like the show writers put it), Dany's actual thoughts display that she only allows the freedmen to revere her because it helps them to feel safe; this is another sign of her empathy, not of her self-gratification or entitlement as many often think.

Finally, the chapter shows the freedmen killing a man for Dany:

Mero went sprawling, blood bubbling from his mouth as the waves washed over him. A moment later the freedmen washed over him too, knives and stones and angry fists rising and falling in a frenzy. (ASOS Daenerys V)

In the books, the former captain of the Second Sons, Mero, hid among the freedmen and bided his time to kill Dany out of revenge for having been deceived by her in Yunkai. Barristan defended her and defeated Mero with a stick, which then led to the freedmen ultimately killing him for their mhysa (and to Barristan's identity and Jorah's treason being revealed).

On HBO, because a) show!Barristan's identity was revealed right away and b) show!Mero was killed by show!Daario (who is part of the Second Sons onscreen rather than the Stormcrows onpage), this scene never happened, making this another example of Dany's connection with the freedmen being undermined from books to show.

If the writers really cared about "the people who may be suffering the repercussions of the decisions made by those heroic people" (which was their justification for leaving show!Dany out of the picture in the second half of the episode where they had her decide to kill thousands of innocents out of nowhere), they would've shown the (already limited) interactions between Dany and her khalasar, the Unsullied and the freedmen at the very least. In fact, if the writers really cared about them, they could've gone further and explored characters that GRRM himself didn't:

“Nine, the noble Reznak said. Who else?”

“Three freedmen, murdered in their homes,” the Shavepate said. “A moneylender, a cobbler, and the harpist Rylona Rhee. They cut her fingers off before they killed her.” The queen flinched. Rylona Rhee had played the harp as sweetly as the Maiden. When she had been a slave in Yunkai, she had played for every highborn family in the city. In Meereen she had become a leader amongst the Yunkish freedmen, their voice in Dany’s councils. (ADWD Daenerys II)

Rylona Rhee was a character whose existence we only learned about in ADWD, after she was already killed by the Harpy's Sons. As the quote shows, though, she represented the Yunkish freedmen's interests in Dany's court and had a lot of potential as a character that GRRM didn't tap into. The show could've easily improved this... Think about it: if Rylona was among the Yunkish freedmen, this means that she met Dany at the end of ASOS Daenerys IV (which, in the show, was episode 3.10). From that point until ADWD Daenerys II, the entirety of season four and the beginning of season five went by (this happened because the show writers reaaaallly stretched out the events of ASOS Daenerys V and VI and parts of ADWD Daenerys I and II). This span of time would've been the perfect opportunity to introduce Rylona's character, flesh her out and give us more information about the freedmen.

Now, the show writers would've never done something like this, of course; they only cared about the lowborn people's deaths and the shock value that would come with them, not about their motivations and lives in general.

*

DAENERYS: How long have they been at it?

MISSANDEI: Since midnight, Your Grace.

DAARIO: Ser Worm is stronger than he looks. But I can see his arms beginning to shake.

DAENERYS: What’s the prize to winning this stupid contest?

DAARIO: The honour of riding by your side on the road to Meereen.

DAENERYS: That honour goes to Ser Jorah and Ser Barristan, as neither of them kept me waiting this morning. You two will ride in the rear guard and protect the livestock. The last man holding his sword can find a new queen to fight for.

I already talked about my first issue with the scene, which is that it portrays show!Dany as rigid and strict while it ignores that her book counterpart is allowed to be playful and not take herself seriously in several moments in the books, including in this chapter (see above).

My second problem with it is that ... why would either show!Grey Worm or show!Daario think that this contest would give one of them "the honour of riding by [show!Dany's] side on the road to Meereen"? Did they forget that this choice is show!Dany's to make? Did they forget that she is their leader? By comparison, this is what Grey Worm says when Hizdahr tries to give him orders after Dany departs Meereen:

Hizdahr’s blunder with Grey Worm had cost him the Unsullied. When His Grace had tried to put them under the command of a cousin, as he had the Brazen Beasts, Grey Worm had informed the king that they were free men who took commands only from their mother. (ADWD The Queensguard)

Considering that Grey Worm only respects his queen's authority in the books, I doubt that he would've accepted to join this contest because he would know that its "prize" is worthless to begin with. Same goes for Daario. Unfortunately, this goes in line with how the (sexist) writers of this show have show!Dany's men make decisions among themselves and forget that show!Dany is their liege (another example: show!Barristan asking show!Jorah (rather than show!Dany) to take part in the battle of Yunkai), which is something that would've been fixed by simply paying more attention to the books. Unfortunately, this will only get worse as time goes on.

*

DAARIO: You like this girl? Must be frustrating.

GREY WORM: You are not a smart man, Daario Naharis.

DAARIO: I’d rather have no brains and two balls.

I'm fine with the show introducing a romantic relationship between show!Grey Worm and show!Missandei (which doesn't happen in the books because Missandei is 10-11), but it bothers me that the writers thought that the very first scene suggesting that show!Grey Worm has feelings for show!Missandei should feature show!Daario making an eunuch joke. Not that this would've been better if it weren't the first scene hinting at MissWorm, of course, it's needlessly offensive regardless and, while GRRM isn't immune to stuff like this either, it's true that this doesn't even happen in the books to begin with.

Scene 2

DAENERYS: Have you ever been to Meereen?

MISSANDEI: Several times, Your Grace, with Master Kraznys.

DAENERYS: And?

MISSANDEI: They say a thousand slaves died building the Great Pyramid of Meereen.

DAENERYS: And now an army of former slaves is marching to her gates. You think the Great Masters are worried?

MISSANDEI: If they’re smart, Your Grace.

This detail about a thousand slaves having died while they built the Great Pyramid of Meereen is a show only invention.

Show!Missandei telling show!Dany that the Great Masters should be worried about the latter's army if they are smart is also a show only invention (which leaves a really bad taste in my mouth in retrospect, since this original bit of dialogue most likely stems from their impression that show!Dany is "becoming more and more viable as a threat" based on her campaign in Slaver's Bay, which will also inform why, six years later, they'll think that it's okay to say that show!Dany's actions in King's Landing were foreshadowed by her "willingness to go forth and conquer all [her] enemies"; failure to understand reasons 1 and 2 of why Dany's storyline matters).

It makes no sense that the writers felt the need to add original lines when we could've had what ASOS Daenerys V actually gave us:

When she looked over one shoulder, there it stood, the afternoon sun blazing off the bronze harpy atop the Great Pyramid. Inside Meereen the slavers would soon be reclining in their fringed tokars to feast on lamb and olives, unborn puppies, honeyed dormice and other such delicacies, whilst outside her children went hungry. A sudden wild anger filled her. I will bring you down, she swore. (ASOS Daenerys V)

As the quote above shows, Dany's discomfort with the Meereenese slavers' privileges and traditions stems from the fact that they only have these things to begin with because they've maintained and benefitted from the slave trade for centuries. That's why she no longer enjoys eating puppies:

“...We give each boy a puppy on the day that he is cut. At the end of the first year, he is required to strangle it. Any who cannot are killed, and fed to the surviving dogs.” (ASOS Daenerys II)

~

“Good dog in Astapor, little queen. Eat?” He offered it with a greasy grin.

“That is kind of you, Belwas, but no.” Dany had eaten dog in other places, at other times, but just now all she could think of was the Unsullied and their stupid puppies. (ASOS Daenerys II)

Or why she asked Jhogo not to use the whip inside Astapor:

He stopped before a thickset man who had the look of Lhazar about him and brought his whip up sharply, laying a line of blood across one copper cheek. The eunuch blinked, and stood there, bleeding. “Would you like another?” asked Kraznys.

“If it please your worship.” (ASOS Daenerys II)

~

“Make way for the Mother of Dragons!” But when he uncoiled the great silverhandled whip that Dany had given him, and made to crack it in the air, she leaned out and told him nay. “Not in this place, blood of my blood,” she said, in his own tongue. “These bricks have heard too much of the sound of whips.” (ASOS Daenerys II)

Or why she considered banning the tokar, though she ultimately kept it in an attempt to help to make peace with the slavers:

Walking in a tokar demanded small, mincing steps and exquisite balance, lest one tread upon those heavy trailing fringes. It was not a garment meant for any man who had to work. The tokar was a master’s garment, a sign of wealth and power.

Dany had wanted to ban the tokar when she took Meereen, but her advisors had convinced her otherwise. “The Mother of Dragons must don the tokar or be forever hated,” warned the Green Grace, Galazza Galare. “In the wools of Westeros or a gown of Myrish lace, Your Radiance shall forever remain a stranger amongst us, a grotesque outlander, a barbarian conqueror. Meereen’s queen must be a lady of Old Ghis.” Brown Ben Plumm, the captain of the Second Sons, had put it more succinctly. “Man wants to be the king o’ the rabbits, he best wear a pair o’ floppy ears.” (ADWD Daenerys I)

Or why she was intent on keeping the fighting pits closed:

“Ask her if she wishes to view our fighting pits,” Kraznys added. “Douquor’s Pit has a fine folly scheduled for the evening. A bear and three small boys. One boy will be rolled in honey, one in blood, and one in rotting fish, and she may wager on which the bear will eat first.” (ASOS Daenerys II)

~

“Why?” she demanded, when Ithoke had finished. “You are no longer slaves, doomed to die at a master’s whim. I freed you. Why should you wish to end your lives upon the scarlet sands?” (ADWD Daenerys II)

Or, finally, why she chose to replace the previous throne for an ebony bench:

Her audience chamber was on the level below, an echoing high-ceilinged room with walls of purple marble. It was a chilly place for all its grandeur. There had been a throne there, a fantastic thing of carved and gilded wood in the shape of a savage harpy. She had taken one long look and commanded it be broken up for firewood. “I will not sit in the harpy’s lap,” she told them. Instead she sat upon a simple ebony bench. It served, though she had heard the Meereenese muttering that it did not befit a queen. (ASOS Daenerys VI)

All of these examples highlight that Dany struggles to accept the Meereenese slavers' culture because of her desire to end slavery and achieve equality. The quote from ASOS Daenerys V above could've easily been added in the show during a conversation between show!Dany and show!Missandei like this one.

Now, one could argue that this couldn't have happened in this episode because show!Dany hadn't yet a) seen the one hundred and sixty-three dead children, b) arrived in Meereen, c) seen the Great Pyramid and/or d) faced the risk of her people starve during the siege, all of which increase her righteous anger and determination to move forward with her crusade and do justice. That's true, but it leads to another question: why didn't they let this episode begin with show!Dany in Meereen like how ASOS Daenerys V begins, that is, with her having to face Meereen's champion?

Meereen was as large as Astapor and Yunkai combined. Like her sister cities she was built of brick, but where Astapor had been red and Yunkai yellow, Meereen was made with bricks of many colors. Her walls were higher than Yunkai’s and in better repair, studded with bastions and anchored by great defensive towers at every angle. Behind them, huge against the sky, could be seen the top of the Great Pyramid, a monstrous thing eight hundred feet tall with a towering bronze harpy at its top.

“The harpy is a craven thing,” Daario Naharis said when he saw it. “She has a woman’s heart and a chicken’s legs. Small wonder her sons hide behind their walls.”

But the hero did not hide. He rode out the city gates, armored in scales of copper and jet and mounted upon a white charger whose striped pink-and-white barding matched the silk cloak flowing from the hero’s shoulders. The lance he bore was fourteen feet long, swirled in pink and white, and his hair was shaped and teased and lacquered into two great curling ram’s horns. Back and forth he rode beneath the walls of multicolored bricks, challenging the besiegers to send a champion forth to meet him in single combat. (ASOS Daenerys V)

That's a problem that I have with how they adapted ASOS Daenerys V. The chapter can be divided in a list of four parts, which goes like this:

How Dany deals with Meereen's champion (this happens in episode 4.3)

Discussions on how to take Meereen (this never happens in the show)

Dany's thoughts on/flashbacks with Daario and Jorah (this more or less happens in episode 4.1; some are show only inventions)

Dany a) meeting her children and Mero and b) finding out the truth about her knights (a never happens; b happens in episodes 3.1 for show!Barristan and 4.8 for show!Jorah)

Despite being a chapter jam-packed with action and drama, the show adaptation diluted its impact by 1) fragmenting it, 2) overfocusing on certain parts over others, 3) creating new (and often unnecessary) scenes and 4) displaying its events out of the intended sequence. Problems 1-3 were already present in the adaptation of Dany's first four ASOS chapters, but I'd argue problem 4 is more serious in ASOS Daenerys V.

In the case of this particular scene, again, because it takes place before show!Dany reaches Meereen (and because the show writers never understood reasons 1 and 2 of why Dany's storyline matters), we don't get to see how her problems with the Meereenese slavers' culture are tied to their practice of slavery. This, unfortunately, is another case of the show undermining Dany's characterization from page to screen.

*

DAENERYS: You were told to ride at the back of the train.

DAARIO: Yes, My Queen. But I need to speak to you about something important. A matter of strategy.

MISSANDEI: Your Grace.

DAENERYS: All right, what is this matter of strategy?

DAARIO: A dusk rose.

DAENERYS: Would you like to walk at the back of the train instead of riding?

DAARIO: And this one’s called lady’s lace.

DAENERYS: Would you like to walk without shoes?

DAARIO: You have to know a land to rule it. Its plants, its rivers, its roads, its people. Dusk rose tea eases fever. Everyone in Meereen knows that. Especially the slaves who have to make the tea. If you want them to follow you, you have to become a part of their world.

DAARIO: Strategy. Harpy’s Gold. No tea from this one. Beautiful but poisonous.

DAENERYS: You are a gambler, aren’t you?

DAARIO: Your Grace.

This exchange is adapted from this part of ASOS Daenerys V:

On the road from Yunkai, Daario had brought her a flower or a sprig of some plant every evening when he made his report ... to help her learn the land, he said. Waspwillow, dusky roses, wild mint, lady’s lace, daggerleaf, broom, prickly ben, harpy’s gold ... (ASOS Daenerys V)

I have some problems with it, though. The first is that they have show!Daario tell show!Dany that she has "to know a land to rule it". In the books, at this point in time, Dany does not have any intention to stay and rule Meereen because she thinks that abolishing slavery was enough on its own; she only changes her mind after seeing the aftermath of the sack of Meereen, hearing news of Astapor (where her council was deposed and slavery is being reinstalled by a former slave named Cleon) and Yunkai (which was rumored to be making alliances with sellswords to defeat her) and understanding that her anti-slavery measures can be easily undone if she leaves so soon. Additionally, I dislike that they chose to only adapt a (veeery brief) scene from the chapter where she's shown to lack knowledge. Why not also adapt, for example, the scene in which she chooses Belwas to fight for her against Meereen's champion and we get to see her whole line of reasoning for doing so? That they even added the detail (that isn't in the books) about how a ruler should have knowledge of the region (which show!Dany doesn't yet) only adds salt to the wound, since it subtly indicates that the show writers themselves find her ineffective as a ruler when she certainly isn't.

The second problem is that show!Dany's feelings for show!Daario are not that clear onscreen in comparison to what we get in the books:

Dany found herself stealing looks at the Tyroshi when her captains came to council, and sometimes at night she remembered the way his gold tooth glittered when he smiled. That, and his eyes. His bright blue eyes. On the road from Yunkai, Daario had brought her a flower or a sprig of some plant every evening when he made his report ... to help her learn the land, he said. Waspwillow, dusky roses, wild mint, lady’s lace, daggerleaf, broom, prickly ben, harpy’s gold ... He tried to spare me the sight of the dead children too. He should not have done that, but he meant it kindly. And Daario Naharis made her laugh, which Ser Jorah never did.

Dany tried to imagine what it would be like if she allowed Daario to kiss her, the way Jorah had kissed her on the ship. The thought was exciting and disturbing, both at once. It is too great a risk. The Tyroshi sellsword was not a good man, no one needed to tell her that. Under the smiles and the jests he was dangerous, even cruel. Sallor and Prendahl had woken one morning as his partners; that very night he’d given her their heads. Khal Drogo could be cruel as well, and there was never a man more dangerous. She had come to love him all the same. Could I love Daario? What would it mean, if I took him into my bed? Would that make him one of the heads of the dragon? Ser Jorah would be angry, she knew, but he was the one who’d said she had to take two husbands. Perhaps I should marry them both and be done with it. (ASOS Daenerys V)

As one can see, Dany's crush on Daario is significant for highlighting a) how Dany is a romantic person who associates sexual attraction with love and marriage (hence why she compares Daario with her first husband) and b) how her feelings for Daario are tied to her desire to find a home or, in this case, someone who she can rely on (hence why she remembers the prophecy of the three heads of the dragon when she thinks of him). 

It was particularly important to display her crush onscreen because of what happens later in ADWD. Unlike what certain people think, Dany's dilemma between Daario and Hizdahr doesn't just represent the choices that she needs to make as a ruler (war or peace), it also illustrates the clash between her main motivations, home and duty: Daario is the former (what Dany wants for herself) and Hizdahr is the latter (what Dany thinks she must do for her people).

Unfortunately, this doesn't come across in the show. To be fair, at least we get to see show!Dany shyly smiling here, but this will be undermined later. In episode 4.7, show!Daario will say:

DAARIO: Never met a woman who didn’t like wildflowers.

In episode 5.7, this is how show!Dany will answer to show!Daario's marriage proposal:

DAENERYS: Even if I wanted to do such an inadvisable thing, I couldn’t.

Then, in episode 6.10, this is what she tells show!Tyrion after rejecting show!Daario:

DAENERYS: Do you know what frightens me? I said farewell to a man who loves me. A man I thought I cared for. And I felt nothing.

I wouldn't be surprised if the show writers made these changes because they a) are among the readers who think that Dany is unlikable/irresponsible when she expresses her romantic feelings for Daario in the books (whereas I happen to think that that makes her more relatable) and b) wanted her to appear more regal (based on their ideas of what that means, of course) in the show because she's older, but, regardless of why they did so, this is quite a problem: if show!Dany isn't in love with show!Daario, her conflict becomes much less pronounced in comparison to her book counterpart's (which, as we'll see later as the show progresses, it did).

*

JORAH: There’s one on every mile marker between here and Meereen.

DAENERYS: How many miles are there between here and Meereen?

JORAH: One-hundred and sixty three, Your Grace.

BARRISTAN: I’ll tell our men to ride ahead and bury them. You don’t need to see this.

DAENERYS: You will do no such thing. I will see each and every one of their faces. Remove her collar before you bury her.

This is my favorite moment of the episode because it's a major example of how Dany's leadership style is defined by her desire to protect the ones who can't protect themselves (which applies to both book and show versions). Now that she wields power, she won't remain passive when she sees injustices occur, in fact, she'll want to confront them in order to remember why is it that she's fighting:

“I will see them,” she said. “I will see every one, and count them, and look upon their faces. And I will remember.”

By the time they came to Meereen sitting on the salt coast beside her river, the count stood at one hundred and sixty-three. I will have this city, Dany pledged to herself once more. (ASOS Daenerys VI)

Being a queen is not about self-gratification for Dany, it's about her responsibility and duty towards others, which is what this scene ultimately reinforces.

That being said, there are still some problems with the scene.

One, while the scene on its own does illustrate the kind of ruler (and person) that show!Dany is regardless of what the show writers were intending, I think that their primary intention was to provide shock value with the sight of the dead children (which is also the most likely reason as to why they succeeded in depicting how horrific the Unsullied's training was). If they had intended the scene to showcase show!Dany's selfless motivations like in the books, they wouldn't have later stated that her war in Slaver's Bay was defined by "that willingness to go forth and conquer all your enemies" or by how "she's not seeing the cost" (failure to understand reasons 1, 2 and 5 of why Dany's storyline matters). Unlike them, Dany knows that some wars are morally righteous because there are cases in which the status quo is not worthy of being uphold, especially not one that allows children to be murdered without their killers being punished (which also informs her views on Robert, his supporters and the Baratheon regime in general).

Two, the show leaves out the fact that, in the books, the Meereenese slavers burned their own city's lands in order to prepare for Dany's arrival:

The Great Masters of Meereen had withdrawn before Dany’s advance, harvesting all they could and burning what they could not harvest. Scorched fields and poisoned wells had greeted her at every hand. (ASOS Daenerys V)

This is important for two major reasons.

One, it raises the stakes of the conflict in the moment. If Dany continues to besiege the city for too long, her people will starve. If she gives up on conquering Meereen, on the other hand, not only slavery will remain, but her people will die of starvation on the way back to Westeros. If she wants to protect the freedmen that followed her, then, her only choice is to take Meereen.

Dany set great store by Ser Jorah’s counsel, but to leave Meereen untouched was more than she could stomach. She could not forget the children on their posts, the birds tearing at their entrails, their skinny arms pointing up the coast road. “Ser Jorah, you say we have no food left. If I march west, how can I feed my freedmen?”

“You can’t. I am sorry, Khaleesi. They must feed themselves or starve. Many and more will die along the march, yes. That will be hard, but there is no way to save them. We need to put this scorched earth well behind us.”

Dany had left a trail of corpses behind her when she crossed the red waste. It was a sight she never meant to see again. “No,” she said. “I will not march my people off to die.” My children. (ASOS Daenerys V)

~

When she looked over one shoulder, there it stood, the afternoon sun blazing off the bronze harpy atop the Great Pyramid. Inside Meereen the slavers would soon be reclining in their fringed tokars to feast on lamb and olives, unborn puppies, honeyed dormice and other such delicacies, whilst outside her children went hungry. A sudden wild anger filled her. I will bring you down, she swore. (ASOS Daenerys V)

Two, it raises the stakes of the conflict in ADWD. By scorching the fields, the slavers deprived Meereen of one of its main sources of income: olives. Now the city's economy is stagnant because it has neither olives nor slaves (because, as we know, Dany abolished slavery) to sell:

For centuries Meereen and her sister cities Yunkai and Astapor had been the linchpins of the slave trade, the place where Dothraki khals and the corsairs of the Basilisk Isles sold their captives and the rest of the world came to buy. Without slaves, Meereen had little to offer traders. Copper was plentiful in the Ghiscari hills, but the metal was not as valuable as it had been when bronze ruled the world. The cedars that had once grown tall along the coast grew no more, felled by the axes of the Old Empire or consumed by dragonfire when Ghis made war against Valyria. Once the trees had gone, the soil baked beneath the hot sun and blew away in thick red clouds. (ADWD Daenerys III)

~

“The sea provides all the salt that Qarth requires, but I would gladly take as many olives as you cared to sell me. Olive oil as well.”

“I have none to offer. The slavers burned the trees.” Olives had been grown along the shores of Slaver’s Bay for centuries; but the Meereenese had put their ancient groves to the torch as Dany’s host advanced on them, leaving her to cross a blackened wasteland. “We are replanting, but it takes seven years before an olive tree begins to bear, and thirty years before it can truly be called productive.” (ADWD Daenerys III)

However, because the show didn't bother to depict how the slavers destroyed their own city's fields, we don't get to see neither a) how it becomes harder for Dany to sustain a siege (and how conquering Meereen became her only choice if she wanted not only to free the slaves, but also to protect the freedmen that came with her) nor b) how, later, she struggles with reforming the city's economy (which is one of the many ways that the show adaptation undermined her political arc in ADWD).  

*

For this review, there’s no comment of mine on any Inside the Episode because D&D’s Inside the Episode 4.1 doesn’t talk about show!Dany’s storyline. I’m not commenting on show!Dany’s clothes either because she’s wearing the same clothes from season three and I’ve talked about them before in past reviews.

[signofwolf]

Kingdom of Ash by Sarah J. Maas – book review

Series: Throne of Glass #7 Genre: YA, Fantasy Theme: Fae, magic users, war Warnings: mentions of torture, imprisonment Star rating: 0,5/10

Why did I pick this up?: I wanted to end this horrible series once and for all.

[Heavy spoilers ahead]

To make myself clear, before this book I quite liked this series. It wouldn’t place in my top 100 books, not even close, but it was a pleasant pageturner to listen to in audiobooks when working.

Language

Let’s start slow. I lack the words to express how much I hate the words ‘male’, ‘female’ and ‘mate’ after this series. Not even gonna try to express my trauma. But these 3 gems aside, Sarah J. Maas needs a dictionary. Or compress her work to a manageable size. Everything sang, Everyone melted, Every man roared, Every woman trembled, Everyone was unleashing themselves at least once a chapter (number of chapters: 122) ). And now I know definitely too much about Yrene’s ‘womb’. I know so much…

Dynamism

I thought that was a book about a war with heavy action content. Oh boy, I was wrong. This 984-pages monstrosity has maybe 5 pages of action. If you squint.

Every sequence, where by design action should take place was followed by one of two scripts:

Few sentences of action and then a few pages long internal monologue. Often repeated with the same character after the next few sentences of action, or with the next character and then the next (sometimes the first character made a second appearance and then everything would go all over again). And the word ‘character’ used in these sentences is not because I’m rambling. This book is written that way!

Few sentences of action and then action stops, and we are graced by a few pages long conversation. In the middle of a battle. Or spying. Or in Erawan’s chambers, when his castle is going down, and he is running up the stairs...

Time

Leaving alone the fact that apparently all series took less than a year (till this book I estimated the plot for about 3 years, Wiki told me it was 2, but Maas knows best), because that is a can of worms in itself. Time in this one? I honestly have no idea. There were many ‘few weeks of travel’ parts with two main groups of POVs. Personally my only time indicator was ‘Orynth won’t fall till Aelin gets here’. But nothing just fit. And I saw Lost Song when in the last episode we as the audience realized that our two POVs parallel storylines are in reality millennia apart. Lost Song made sense.

Emotional loading

… there wasn’t any. Really, it was like reading a milk label. Every time the scene was potentially emotionally impactful, Maas went ahead to overexplaining EVERY. GOD. DAMMED. THING. And it was abso-fucking-lutely everything. ‘Emotional dilemma? Let’s current POV explain it! 2 pages should be enough… Damn maybe it wasn’t enough. I know! I’ll switch POVs and explain it through the other character!’ <= My impression of Maas’ thought process. I’m fairly sure that the record was 7 POVs explaining the same thing in the row, but I was blacking out a little, so I cannot be sure.

And if that wasn’t enough, this book had a second way to defuse tension: random-plastic-repetitive-badly_written-smut. Really badly written and really repetitive. How could you not feel the spicy bits, when Manon (cruel, self assured 100+years old witch-queen) reacts the same in bed as Elide (20years old, virgin, ex-slave). And the rest of them were the same, there weren’t ANY distinctions.Just copy-paste.

The next point in current case: Someone died, it was impactful, I really liked the character, so I got sad. But then 2 of our characters came out of the room with a body, and after a paragraph of grieving they started making out, and then I was regaled with 2-pages-long description of melting cores. That was the place then this book stopped being badly written, and started being distasteful.

Characters

Remember when I was writing about switching POVs (which is 15(!!!) In the whole book. Oh and an omniscient narrator in places when our current POV was grieving too much to overthink something, but Maas still wanted to inform us about something)? They were all savagely murdered in the worst way: character mutilation. Somewhere between books our maybe-not-that-original but colorful and interesting characters became carbon copies of each other. I have no idea how many times I didn’t realise there was a POV switch. The only indicator was a change of pronoun, or when Maas was telling us the name of a current narrator. These were the only ways. And if you can't distinguish if you are in Dorian’s head or in Manon’s, that is the sign of a really BAD writing.

Romance

…there wasn't any. In all this book there wasn't any naturally progressing romantic scene. There were Maas’ endgame pairings which were sexing or pinning. As the author Maas loves to write about soulmates. And it’s not a bad thing itself. When I want some fluffy story I often tag ‘soulmates’ in AO3 and voila, +10 to good mood. But God above, it is not cute when every pair you write about are ‘true mates’ just BECAUSE. It is the only way Maas sees a relationship, as a fated pairing, written in the wake of the universe by the God himself. There is no choice, nor the work to put in it. They are the author's OTP and that means that they are perfect and they should have children right now. Point in case:

Guy was treating a girl like a shit on his sole, including throwing her naked out of tent, on a snow, with their friends present, all the while abusing her verbally in a worst way. But it’s okay, because when she almost died he realised his mistakes and apologised. Two scenes later, he was forgiven, because... fated mates?

The pathos

I know that many people don't like this type of scenes, but it's not my case. I’m reading by picturing images and not repeating words. I like sequences that I can imagine to be grand and glorious, even if they are a little corny. That said, the pathos scenes were the most disappointing ones for me. Maas likes to write parts that are more picturesquely exalted than logically possible [point in case: meeting of 5 armies/forces in the random patch of sand in Empire of Storms, and it being painted as ‘an Aelin’s great plan’. I laughed myself silly at that. But not taking logic and all the plot holes into consideration that was a nicely looking scene. In Kingdom of Ash that wasn’t the case. I would say that the author wanted to paint us a renaissance painting every 20 pages or so. In my opinion, every time she failed miserably. Each and every of those scenes was or to farfetched to be even remotely realistic, and evidently written only for a sake of the picture, or just plainly stupid.

Example, and it’s so priceless a scene, that I just need to share it: Battle of Orynth, 25th day or so (time in this book doesn’t exist), the 13. sacrificed themselves (like thousands before them but hush). And then, time stops: grieving Manon is going through the city, they open the gates for her (yes, the siege is still on), she goes to the place where they died, after her come out all of our main heroes, and half the city itself with ‘flowers, rocks and precious possessions’ and they lay it there in a tribute to these brave (evil till 2 months ago) witches. I honestly can’t remember when was the last time I saw such an abstract scene. It’s a material for an essay in itself. No, I could not take it seriously.

Additionally, it's hard to make an impact as every damn sentence is grand and lofty. In the end it became truly pathetic, Aelin vs Maeve was unreadable.

Character deaths:

Let's make a quick count: main characters in a series at the start of KoA: 12 secondary characters in a series at the start of KoA: 20ish minor and total background: a lot more

Death count: main: 0 secondary: 3 minor: 2 (11 if we try very hard)

Resurrections: 1 (possibly 3, but not gonna analyze it)

Did you feel emotions of this impossible war against this all-encompassing, all-powerful, invincible, immortal, cunning Evil with armies from 3 continents and 2 worlds? No? Me neither.

Oh well, but there were a lot of deaths of ordinary soldiers. I’m quite certain that all of Terrasen’s army was at least twice brought back to life for them to die in these numbers.

Logic or lack thereof

Oh, and let’s not forget about the Deus ex machina army of unbeatable, magical elves on wolves, from legends, living for the past thousands of years in the unreachable lands of the north, because they managed to run from the surprise attack 10 years earlier. Did I mention that they came from portals, which the whole book was telling us were impossible to make in this scenario? After the previous saviour army was already fighting there for a day? And that Aelin didn’t know they would come for sure (how did she contact them again?)? Even though they were waiting in the full armours for these portals? Ah, and also: that army didn’t do anything. They just came and fought for maybe 4 minutes. And there were just so many things like that!

And if we’re on the topic of armies I present you: ��My favourite absurd-list in the series: allied armies’.

(As a comparison, in A Song of Ice and Fire by J.R.R Martin, in 7 kingdoms of Westeros, at the peak of war there were 7 forces present, but not all were even engaged in a war.)

First the ones that made sense:

Armies of Terrasen’s Lords (counted as one, not gonna nitpick)

The Khaganate army (also counted as one)

Galan Ashryver’s armada

Whitethorn fraction

Rebel Ironteeth witches

…should Dorian be counted as an ‘army’?

And there were some that did not:

Ansel of Briarcliff’s army

The Silent Assassins

Mycenians

Wild Men of the Fangs

Army of magical elves on wolves

And the ‘I don’t even know’ category:

Crochan witches

Overpowering and overreaching

Section title tells it all. The stakes were too high. I was honestly waiting for Aelin to become Super Saiyan and start to throw planets at Maeve and Erawan. I won’t spoil if this happened.

In my opinion it could be a really great series, if our list of villains ended with Arobynn and King of Adarlan, and the list of Aelin titles with an assassin and a princess. We could have had two main fight plots: one emotional with Arobynn, when Aelin would have to face a damage he had done to her, and overcome it. And the second one, with freeing Terrasen from Adarlan’s rule. That’s it. There was an asshole, power hungry king, who feared magic and wanted to rule the East part of a continent. A lot of plot, but not so much that we stopped to care, or didn’t have time to cover everything. We could really get to know what Terrasen and his people were like and not JUST GET TOLD that it was ‘the greatest place in the world’ every damn 20 pages.

Plus…should Dorian be counted as an ‘army’? It's a REALLY valid question.

Climaxes

IIf I have to write a list of things that disappointed me in this book, this review would be thrice its current size, but one of the worst grievances I have is the complete lack of acknowledging the plotlines that had been started. This book series has overall 4 372 pages (not counting novellas) and 12 main characters (still not gonna address this). All of them had their storylines and arcs but if they weren't tied up in the previous instalments they wouldn’t be in this one. I get it, Maeve and Erawan got beaten (in an extremely unsatisfactory way) but they were only a background in this series' plots.

Aelin Well, Aelin was one of 3 people (+2 paragraf-long insertion from Nesryn and Chaol) who got their own POV’s after the battle (second was technically Rowan, who was ‘Aelin’s POV outside of Aelin’.The third Dorian, who got almost a full two pages). And from this we got that: she got crowned, Aedion got his bond and that Maas have no idea how the city looks after weeks of siege. In her case what angered me the most was ‘Terrasen is my home’ subplot. Only in this tome we read at least 3 times that Aelin will be okay with dying, if only she gets to see Terrasen one last time, or if she get to die on Terrassen soil. But you know what? Maas forgot to write the scene where Aelin actually ‘comes in’.

Mannon Didn't get her own POV after the battle, but here’s what we’ve got: She is going to the Wastes with Croachans and Ironteeth. Whait. What? Yes, that was the ending of this 500+ years of feud. They fought together and they decided to unite their two species, completely forgetting more than half a millenia of slaughter. I can only hope that there were at least some talks behind the scenes… NO! F*** NO! This isn’t how it works!

Rowan, Dorian, Chaol, Yrene, Lysandra, Aedion, Lorcan, Elide, Nesryn, Sartaq Lived happily ever after

Secondary minor and total background characters Survived (I acknowledge that they would be ignored in most books’ epilogues, but this abomination is almost 1000 pages of nothing!!).

Good Scenes

That saying, this book actually had 4 good scenes:

Crochan witches go to war - gathering-forces-to-fight trope, which is my *love-always trope* so I’m not even sure if it was relatively good, or if I’m just a slut for this trope. It was still only a paragraph long though.

[recurring] The children’s tale Aelin repeated to herself to remember who she is.

‘Lorcan Lochan’ - the only marginally funny scene in the whole book

I actually found Darrel making Evangeline his heir charming. Even if circumstances were far-fetched at least.

But the words crime of this book? It was agonisingly, mind-numbingly boring. If the overexplaining and repetitions were to be taken out I highly doubt that there would be 300 pages left.

For these 33 hours of audiobook I suffered through I give it half a star. Because Abraxos exist.

Please see my garishly accurate cover on my instagram! You can also like it there :D

instagram | goodreads

[shy-magpie]

RQG 155

Wherein there are unexpected visitors. Live blog under the cut

Pre episode babbling:  there really wasn't any way quarantine was going to last as long as the dungeon crawl, and (for all I joked about it) I really am satisfied with what we got. That was a lot of backstory and character moments in a short amount of time. Now we have a kobold, a mysterious attack on the inn, and an episode title referencing dragons? Nice consolation for them almost certainly being forced out of the basement or having plot come to them. Please be Skraak? Please be Skraak either trying to rescue them or at least be here as an ally? Oh well time to hit play: Weird energy? That’s promising Inevitable locked in a Cel(l) joke Zolf needs to be nicer about the Kobolds Alex needs tell us if this is Skraak or not before Hamid gets the blame Skraak(?) Just unlocked the trap door Nice outfit Alex, is it our Skraak? It seems to be Zolf wants Skraak to join them in quarantine. Cel doesn't see why to bother when Skraak's been in contact with hundreds of Kobolds Skraak gestures for them to leave and Zolf is going to be force the issue. This will go over well. Beats his defense by 1 Hamid is trying to play peacemaker again. Really Zolf? Couldn't have calmly refused to leave and explained through the door? I know you are under stress but you are low charisma, not stupid. Love you Cel, Skraak has been speaking to varying degrees since "My Liege" Hamid tries to explain, Zolf speaks over him to say they didn't explain because they forgot. Hamid apologizes to Skraak. Skraak starts to leave. Azu backs Zolf in preventing him from leaving. Skraak is subdued by Zolf & Azu Skraak is locked in with Hamid? No Zolf has some limits thank goodness. He did call Skraak one of them.  Bound but not gagged as Hamid apologizes. Skraak points out that he just has to wait for the rest (of his team?) Skraak "monitor"ed them!?! Holy... I was merely comparing the situations, did he actually scry and see them held by a human in a small space underground beneath a trap door disguised by a table? If he thinks Wilde is their Shoin then how many pieces is he going to be in when Zolf gets out? Kobold lore please! Hierarchy is important and it was "considered a good idea to keep track of the saviors". Skraak is sarcastic in his tone when he uses the term and it sounds like at least Hamid & Azu object the instant they hear it, possibly others. Cel makes a pitch for quarantining the whole inn. Wilde is in the cupboard Zolf asks about the kobold numbers and makes some unnecessary remarks about the village & Jasper in particular being lost as he writes off Japan. Zolf is far too relatable for some who needs to stand the flame down before someone takes it personal. Deciding you've already doomed yourself along with everything you care about is a crappy way to avoid panic in the face of uncertainty. Cel tries to call him on it, he switches to "everyone else is infected and it will be our job to fight them". Scary thing is, while in the long term it would be a suicide mission, with their combined abilities they could make a serious dent in the numbers. Hope they are aware of the Hiroshima comparison if this is leading to calling for a air strike on Japan. They explain what little they know to Skraak who insists none of the Kobolds were sick but may not understand the symptoms. Possible kobold immunity? Gonna be annoyed if something Shoin did protected them. Skraak seems to be saying that no new people were exposed since his party of 7 followed the route of the party. Zolf wants to send them back under Skraak's guard to prevent any more coming for them. And they're back. Cel points out its better Skraak came since the kobolds didn't know to implement quarantine. They go upstairs. They form a phalanx and draw spear against the party when they don't see either Hamid or Skraak. Alex & Ben are doing the "these lines are already written we have but to speak them" routine while Bryn points out Alex doesn't get to sound like that when he's the one doing it. Very Hamid, if you know how this is going to play out and don't like it, just make another choice. Initiative and a lot of dice. Grapple rules. Not clear where Cel is/if they got grappled but it sounds like Zolf did and is throwing them off so he can check on the inn keeper. Hamid runs upstairs and every one of them kneels like Skraak did at their first meeting. Helen & Bryn both sound distressed. Should have cleaned up that unreadable little ficlet I made of Hamid going bad because he didn't know how to handle Kobold worship and accidentally took over Japan because he thought autonomy meant respecting their decision to look to him as their leader. The innkeeper is bound but fine. Zolf unties him and looks for Wilde. "Wilde is also bound and... Has a look best described as "the bleep? "" Zolf is a stress cooker and Barnes updates Hamid is flustered and embarrassed which buys him some small grace from Skraak who explains Hamid is "the biggest dragon here" Cel: Also you could introduce the concept of democracy. Eh skip em straight to anarcho communism if you ask me. Group decision meetings rather than just vote for the head dragon Hamid tries to side step a bit by suggesting they explain the situation and asks for their names. Hope Alex thought to name all seven before the cast does.  Siggif the kobold might be pushing it. "Hamid the polite tyrant"-Lydia Break Alex skips them to "a large dinner" cooked by Zolf who got a nat 20 on how good it is. Cel speaks draconic. Neither Zolf nor Azu can make out the difference in their names. Because Alex is like that: didn't want to come up with 7 names, did want to block anyone else naming them. Bryn however has all 6 names and is going to give Azu & Zolf their translations. They aren't interested in the rest of the party and "insist on maintaining a guard phalanx around Hamid at all times". Helen points out this is Bryn's fault. Yeah he's been playing with Alex long enough to know "King of the Kobolds" would come back to bite him. Hamid should be embarrassed. Hamid is sat at the head of the table by the Kobolds. Skraak: it'll pass eventually Zolf: good Aw Cel asks about traditional kobold food and Skraak has to struggle to remember. (Cel seems disappointed meal worm burgers would be poisonous to non kobolds) Zolf is a grumpy boy Long story short it seems to be a controlled risk: no contact off the island; no reason to believe the kobolds are infected Kobolds might be immune Oh screw Shoin (sent waves of Kobolds as dungeon monsters) Zolf doesn't think that the level of contact the Kobolds had with infected adventurers without being infected is proof since they don't know how the infection is passed or activated. Hamid says they shouldn't rely on it but its reason to hope. Zolf needs to remember that team moral is a thing and quit taking things from Hamid especially in a way that could piss off their new housemates. Thank you Azu! Hamid is not stupid! You can say there is reason for hope and still be careful Hamid calls him on jumping down his throat at the slightest provocation, reminds him they talked about this and that trying to stay positive is not a crime. God it's weird relating to both sides of this argument. My bias is towards Hamid as being right, but Zolf is so relatable. You have any idea how hard it can be not to snap at some of these kids they are setting themselves up for heart break when they talk about school in the fall or hug piles at cons? Thank you Cel Zolf is going to leave and sit on the coast behind the inn because he considers the quarantine broken not expanded. Backing out of an unproductive conversation, especially one were others have pointed out you are being harmful is valid, giving into "burn it all" moods is not. Hamid moves to stop him because he gets that the inn is now their cell Wilde calls him back and says he was building to them talking to the borb. So there is a reason he's the boss. Zolf declares he wants some time not thinking about this, which is what he should have done several paragraphs ago. Ffs this can not be the first time he's had it strike hot/destructive instead of cold/immobilizing; it sucks but you don't let yourself make any permanent decisions, stay away from the breakables and try not to talk to much, it passes. Cel suggests he go to one of the upstairs rooms instead, he accepts the redirect with ill grace but does accept it. Barnes has pointed out that locking everyone in a small box makes things worse not better before. Aw did Alex not like the fandom begging for the platonic version of the lock em in a closet until they sort out their feelings trope? Azu: I thought we could make friends Cel: he seems quite opposed to that Azu: I feel like he'd be a really good friend but not very friendly if you know what I mean Cel:we I know he hasn't been at all friendly Azu: you're friendly! Cel: well thank you, I do try Azu: I think you are my friend Cel: I am so honored! Thank you so much Azu! That's delightful Carter declares Cel the only friendly one because he is grumpy about Azu stepping on him, stopping him from breaking quarantine, and drank all the good stuff. Barnes suggests they start fresh in the morning. Skraak explains the kobolds are expecting Hamid to step into Shoin's role as tyrant just one they like. Skraak: even if they know you're not a tyrant, neither they nor me will be abandoning you because that's how Kobolds work. Good Hamid is taking this seriously Oh no pressure Skraak The most chill inn keeper in the world Skip to lunch time Zolf is still making himself scarce, which is not the worst way to handle it  dawning on you THAT YOU TRIED TO DESTROY A RELATIONSHIP YOU VALUE BECAUSE YOU WERE IN A MOOD Bryn makes the "he's secretly infected" joke. Bryn spotted the veins in discord avatar thing and Alex sounds so pleased Wilde is fine, stop asking Oh really we needed that insight in how Wilde thinks Brorb on the table Cel asks for a list of stuff to make into a Brorb access device. Between their bags of holding they have enough stuff for them to make do. Azu seeks out Zolf while Hamid & the Kobolds help Cel. No strike that she waits until someone needs to grab him for the Brorb interview. Alex! Ending on Azu finding Zolf staring out the window.

[etherealwaifgoddess]

To Give Him The World, Chpt.1

Main Characters: Thor x Ellie (original female character)

Summary: Valkyrie needs someone to remind Thor of her expectations of him living in New Asgard again and Ellie jumps at the opportunity to reconnect with her childhood friend. Thor is confused but appreciative of her presence in his cottage. 

Warnings/ Content: None really in this chapter. Some self consciousness but that’s it. 

Word Count: 2k

Author’s Note:  Hello lovelies! I am so excited to share this fic with ya'll :) I started writing this back in June 2019, got about four chapters out, and honestly forgot about it in favor of other WIPs I had going at the time. I reconnected with it recently and finally have a mapped out plan for the characters so I wanted to start sharing it with you all while I finish writing it. It should be around six chapters or so and I'm going to try and post every few days, maybe every other if I get lucky. Chapters will also be posted over on my  AO3 and I’ll be throwing a Master List up on here shortly to keep track of things.

Love ya'll and thank you for reading! XOXO - Ash

To Give Him The World, Chapter One

Ellie struggled under the weight of the cleaning bucket she carried up the long, winding hill to the cottage. The supplies were packed into the large blue bucket and she hoped it would be enough. She hadn’t stepped foot in the god’s cottage before but she was warned it was in desperate need of help. Valkyrie had put her foot down upon Thor’s return; if he wanted to stay, he needed to keep the place clean and scale back on the drinking. It couldn’t be like the last time. Of course Valkyrie couldn’t be the one to remind him of that herself, no she had sent a messenger. Not that Ellie minded, she had volunteered to be the one to go. The other women who worked in the office were catty and Ellie couldn’t bear the idea of someone being unnecessarily cruel to Thor after already having so much pain in his life. 

Ellie’s mother had run the kitchens in the palace back on Asgard and she grew up playing with Thor and Loki. She hadn’t seen Thor in hundreds of years but she had heard the stories. Ellie had heard of his victories, and his great losses over the last few years. She mourned the death of his family as if they were her own. She knew what had become of him after The Decimation and her heart broke for him. Everyone had written Thor off as a lost cause after that but Ellie had hoped he would someday recover. Now that The Blip had occurred, and those lost had returned, Thor was back in Asgard again staying in the same dingy little cottage. Ellie wanted to go to him and offer anything he might need but she didn’t know him well enough anymore to do so. When Valkyrie had asked someone to go remind him of her expectations and help clean, she had jumped at the chance. 

Ellie’s muscles were aching by the time she reached the cottage door and she took a moment to steady herself before knocking. Her curly blonde hair whipped around her in the wind and she did her best to tame it and smooth down her sweater where it had ridden up. She wished absently that she had stuck to her last diet. Ellie had never been like the other thin, lithe girls in her classes. She had always been short and rounded where they were tall with sharp angles. In general she tried not to let it bother her too much but now, about to see Thor again after all these years, it added to her nervousness.  

Ellie steadied her breathing and knocked twice. After a few seconds with no sounds coming from inside the cottage she tried again, louder this time. Still no response. Ellie thought he might be out and decided she could at least get a jump start on the cleaning. She pushed the old wooden door open with a loud creak and was met by the scent of stale air and old beer. Ellie wrinkled her nose but entered, heading down the short hallway to the main room. She was confused to find the television on but noticed quickly that she was not alone. Slumped into a fading old reclining chair was Thor, fast asleep. His Xbox headset still on and a controller laid in his lap. He must have passed out while playing and based on the number of beer bottles littering the table next to him it was no wonder why. 

Ellie tried not to stare at his sleeping form. He was shirtless in only a pair of worn grey sweatpants, his long tangled hair lying all around him. It had grown quite a bit since the last time Ellie had seen him and she was surprised he was letting it get so long. His beard was in need of a trim too and Ellie wondered when the last time he’d showered was. He was clearly not taking care of himself, or the cottage, again. 

Feeling like a creep for staring, she pulled her eyes away from him and found her way to the kitchen. She set out her cleaning supplies and grabbed a large black trash bag to start picking up. Ellie did her best to keep quiet as she collected the discarded bottles and wrappers around the cottage and Thor continued to snore lightly in his chair. She found herself peeking over at him often, just to make sure she had not disturbed him or so she told herself. Carefully she crept around the house gathering all the trash that had accumulated amazed at how much there was. Ellie started scrubbing down the kitchen, wanting to get everything else done before she started on the living room since she would most likely wake him once she did. 

It took almost three hours but Ellie had the cottage cleaned and a third load of laundry started before Thor woke up. She knew she had made a mistake when she turned off the Xbox. It must have been playing some type of background music because the second it shut off Thor’s eyes snapped open. He looked around startled and confused before his eyes landed on her. “Who are you?” He demanded, his voice gravelly from sleep. 

“I’m Ellisandra. Ellie.” She stumbled over her words, nervous under his gaze, “Valkyrie sent me to-“

Thor groaned, “Of course she did. Listen, Lady Ellisandra, you do not need to waste your time here. I’m perfectly capable of taking care of the cottage.”

“It’s Ellie, just Ellie. And with all due respect, I’ve been here since one and have almost finished. I’d rather just finish up and then I’ll get out of your hair.”

Thor looked around the cottage, realizing the accumulation of trash was missing and the windows were opened, the mild October air blowing in. 

Ellie started rambling, nervous, “I saved the living room for last. I was trying not to disturb you. Everything else is done. Well, you still have one load of clothes in the dryer yet. But the linens and one load of clothes are all done and put away. If you’d like I can run out once I’m finished and get you some food for the kitchen. I noticed you don’t have much of, well... anything.” 

Thor stood up with a groan, rubbing his lower back and stretching. Ellie’s cheeks burned and she tried to look away. She might not be able to control her body’s response to him, but she was raised to be polite. Thor misinterpreted her reaction and the large god seemed to try and pull himself in, wrapping his arms around his middle. “I’m sorry la... Ellie. I know I’m not much to look at anymore. I’ll just go grab something to put on. You don’t have to stay, really.” 

“No!” Ellie’s cheeks burned brighter at her unintentional outburst and she rambled despite herself, “You’re fine. You’re stunning.” Thor raised an eyebrow and she realized she probably seemed like a rambling lunatic. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I should be cleaning. I’m so close to being finished it won’t take long. Just ignore me.” Ellie hurried back into the kitchen to grab the duster and avoid further embarrassment. It stung a little that he didn’t remember her but the last time they’d seen each other they were still children, just barely adolescents. She certainly couldn’t blame him. 

Thor found himself amused and interested in the flustered woman in his home. Stunning, he mulled over the word. No one had shown any interest in him in years and he was a little thrown off by it. He rubbed a rough hand through his wild beard and down the slope of his rounded stomach. He cursed at his own sloth and headed into the bedroom for a shirt. Amazed, he stood in the doorway taking in the room. He hadn’t realized how messy the cottage had become until it was all cleaned. The bed was made and smelled of crisp linen. There was no clothing or trash to stumble around as he crossed the room. His clothes were put away in the small oak dresser, his few other belongings laid on top with care. Thor pulled on a clean shirt and then noticed how dingy his pants were by comparison. Stripping down he changed into clean blue fleece pants and tossed the dirty ones into the wicker bin that now sat in empty the corner. He scowled at his reflection in the mirror, knowing nothing could be done right then about anything. Pulling his hair back from his face he went to find his unexpected visitor. 

He found Ellie stretching as high as she could to run the duster along the top shelf of the bookcase. Thor paused a moment at the doorway to take her in. She was at least a foot shorter than him and her shiny blonde curls cascaded down almost to the top of her jeans. Her cream colored sweater had risen up as she reached, giving Thor a glimpse of the pale, creamy skin of her lower back. He ached for a chance to run his hands down her curves and feel her skin beneath his finger tips. Thor scolded himself for looking at Ellie with need. She was here to help and he was all but leering. There was something about her though, something achingly familiar. Breaking himself from his thoughts he went over to her, taking the duster from her outstretched hand. “Here, allow me to help.” He offered. 

Ellie’s breath caught in her throat, only a small gasp escaping her lips. She felt cornered under his reach but not in a bad way. She slipped out of his way with a quiet thank you and watched as he finished the dusting. Ellie noticed he had changed and was glad she had gone ahead and done the laundry. It seemed a little intimate doing someone else’s wash but it needed done and made a huge difference in the bedroom. 

“Good as new.” Thor announced handing her back the duster. His smile was warm and it unnerved her a little. 

“Thanks for getting that. I’m a little vertically challenged.” Ellie wanted to facepalm herself at the bad joke. 

Thor chuckled, seeming to enjoy it. 

“I’ll just vacuum in here and then head out. I was going to the grocery store tonight for myself if you want me to pick up a few things for you while I’m there.”

“I appreciate the offer but I do not know how to cook so it would just go to waste.” 

“You never did spend much time in the kitchens. Not that my mother would have let you. But you might want to learn if you’re going to be living alone up here. I could show you a few things.” 

Thor thought for a moment and realization slowly dawned on him. “Ellie.” He said, the sound of her name on his lips so different than before. “You grew up in the palace with us. Your mother Idria was my mother’s head cook. It's been so long.” 

Ellie nodded, glad he finally remembered. “It’s been many years. I’m surprised you remember.”

“How could I forget? The palace was a lonely place but you made it a little brighter.”

Ellie struggled to conceal her joy. Clearing her throat she asked, “So, do you want me to get you a few things? I can teach you a few basics to help you get by.” 

He wasn’t particularly interested in learning to cook but more time with Ellie was too tempting to pass up. He nodded finally, “That would be nice. Thank you, Ellie.” 

“What kind of things do you like? Anything you hate?” 

“I don’t know. Midgard has very different things than Asgard. I’m not picky though.”

“Okay. Let me go to the store and pick up a few things and at least show you how to make dinner.” 

“I’ll be here.” 

Taglist lovelies: @thorfanficwriter @lancsnerd

If anyone else wants to be added just drop me an ask or message and I’ll include you on the Master List and future chapters :)

[multi-fandom-nutjob]

How I’d tweak every Smash Character(Part I)

Hello, everyone! Cinnamon-Guardian here! I love Smash Bros to death, but not everything is perfect. I’ve been mulling over some ideas on how to tweak some characters to be better(or at least more accurate to their series of origin).

This won’t be super concerned with balancing, but tier list standings and how broken or whack certain moves are will be taken into consideration. This disclaimer is just me saying I am in no way claiming that I could do better than Sakurai or any of the other developers! This is purely to have fun and flex my creative muscles to try and get better at this sorta thing.

Mario

With Mario, I’m pretty happy with most of his tech, from his standard moves to his smash attacks and his neutral and recovery specials. The aspects of him that frustrate me the most are his down and side specials, both of whom I ultimately think could be better.

The Down Special works well in theory, pushing opponents back without any sort of hit-stun so that it won’t reset their recoveries any. The flaw I see is that it has no use beyond that. As such, I propose that Flud’s bursts do chip damage, akin to Fox’s blaster. That way, it can do very minor damage and still push opponents back without resetting their recoveries.

The Side Special, in contrast, works decently enough in practice but feels hallow in homage. The Cape Feather that it draws upon appeared only once in Super Mario World, a game that admittedly did exceedingly well, but also came out in 1990. When implemented, it works as a great reflector, but nothing more. As such, I propose it be replaced with the Luma Spin from the Super Mario Galaxy titles! The creators clearly know that there is a sizeable fandom for the dualogy, seeing as how Rosalina joined the roster. The Luma Spin could serve as a valuable reflector itself, but could also act as a secondary, more instantaneous smash attack that could even have some horizontal recovery to it akin to DK’s recovery. It could do all that the Cape Feather did and more with a more contemporary fandom!

Donkey Kong

Off the bat, I think something Donkey Kong needs more of is Speed. While he is the poster child for the slow and heavy characters at the bottom of the tier list, in the games where he is playable, he possesses ample agility.

The main means through which I would propose adding more speed is through a more refined dash attack. In the games, he could steamroll through enemies at ludicrous speeds. While I don’t think it needs to be as fast as Sonic or Captain Falcon, his dash attack could be a powerful roll attack that could boost him forward more.

Adding more onto his agility, I believe that his jumps should have much more of a vertical gain and have ample momentum to it. That way, when combined with his horizontally focused recovery, DK could regain his footing much better than most heavy characters. His special moves don’t need much, if any major alteration.

Link

I think Ultimate gave us the best Link we’ve seen to date, made incredibly distinct from the other two and given more weight than before. My thoughts ultimately fall on his grab and recovery.

In order to keep in line with Breath of the Wild, Link lost the hook-shot grab that he’s had since Smash debuted, severally nerfing his grappling prowess. To replace it, I would have altered it to be the Magnesium Powers you get early on. That way, Link can still have a long-range grab, but it could be slower and easier to break out of so that it’s not broken.

As for recovery, Link is still the same old Link, spinning ‘till he pukes. One thing that stood out in BotW, however, was the glider. If brought into Smash, it could effectively be the same as Peach and Daisy’s, with a sharp upward draft followed by a slow horizontally focused descent.

Samus

Samus has always been sort of the Black Sheep of the Original Roster, characterized by idling shooting inefficient projectiles from a corner. A far-cry from the ass-kicking bounty hunter we all know she is! In Ultimate, most of her competitive gameplay is centered around her charging dash attack and her grab, as if she were a football player.

How do we change that? By letting her move more, of course! As such, her neutral special will get a massive revamp, as it defaults to a pea-shooter mode that allows her to move about as she’s shooting, only having to stop for her side special, which itself will be upgraded to the ice rockets because if she can’t move, you can’t move either! The Charge Shot will only come out after you shoot and hold down the Special Move Button, making it practically the only chargeable move that you can freely move and charge simultaneously! The damage for the pea-shooter and charge shot will stay about the same, as anymore would break the game. Every other special move and her grab are all good, but since she’s so mobile, her charge attack will be replaced with a charge more akin to the energy charge she had in Super Metroid

Dark Samus

Okay, so, I don’t HATE hate echo fighters, but I do hate echo fighters who stick too close to the original’s gameplay. Dark Samus is pretty much on par with Daisy in that regard.

Off the bat, I think a slower but more powerful approach would suit her character better. It would also add to the tone of her gameplay more in my opinion.

The only big change I’d make to Specials are the Recovery and Down Special. The Screw Attack is amazing, don’t get me wrong, but it only really makes sense for Samus herself. As lame as it might sound, a massive boost in whatever direction she chooses, akin to Lucario, would fit Dark Samus better.

As for her Down Special, though, I have a more interesting idea. Dark Samus is made of Phazon, a sort of super energy. If she replaced the bombs with charging it up, it could heavily empower her Neutral Special(again like Lucario but more naturally than taking damage).

Yoshi

I kinda love him as he is. No real changes to be made honestly.

Kirby

Kirby is a character that frustrates me. His games have so much creativity with the premise of absorbing powers, but he only uses the Neutral Special of whoever absorbs him. But I do have an idea on how to change that!

Not only will he gain the Neutral Special of whoever he absorbs, but he will also gain “aspects” of that character. For example, if he absorbs Ganon, he becomes heavier and his moves have dark aura effects. If he absorbs Sonic, he and all of his moves becomes faster. If he absorbs Charizard, all of his moves have dire effects and his Side-Special gets a massive upgrade at the cost of damaging himself.

Fox

Okay, so, the thing that made Fox both legendary and infamous was how fundamentally broken he was as a character in Melee. Watching a pro-player use him was like watching a Shonen fight. At the risk of obliterating the tier list again, my goal now is to recapture that without breaking him too badly.

What Fox needs more of is consistent momentum. The main way to tweak this by reshaping the Side Special into something with more raw power but more need for precision. Being a dash attack of sorts, the main goal now is to make it both faster and more chargeable. When Fox crouches, it will charge until released, and it will go in the direction of the analogue stick akin to the recovery. This can be quicker than it is now if you release it quickly, however, though it will do marginally less damage. If running, it will default to the no-charge version for an instant strike for little damage.

This revision, however, would make the recovery seem obsolete in comparison, which is why the Recovery will default do more damage than even the max-charged side and go much further, almost being a smash attack in comparison. As such, we have a very fast and powerful Fox that can move in every direction.

How will it be balanced, then? Well, the Reflector will still be stationary, and most of his attacks will have reduced damage to ensure he doesn’t end every round before it starts.

Pikachu and Luigi

I don’t really have anything for either of these, besides the fact that I wish they have the same Final Smashes as Brawl.

Ness

Can I confess something? I hate Ness and Lucas. So much. I hate playing as either of them and I especially hate fighting either of them.

And you know what else? None of their special moves are canon! That’s right! All of the PK moves they use are from different characters! So my move would be to replace them with a far more accurate and less spam-ridden moveset. That is all. Fuck PK Fire.

Captain Falcon

Okay so, this is a Football Player that makes sense *cough, Samus, cough*. My main concern is that his side and down specials are too similar((much like another speedster)). While I don’t think taking the speed from the second fastest character in the game is at all fair, I think a set-up move for the Falcon Punch could work wonders.

As such, I think his Down Special should be replaced with a flaming kick spin tornado of sorts! That way he can juggle the opponent for some minor damage and set them up for a Falcon Punch that comes out too fast for them to dodge. Make for the best combo in the game honestly.

Jigglypuff

What is there to be done for a joke character? Well, Jigglypuff isn’t a joke character anymore! So a lot, actually!

Firstly, her neutral special should replace her side special. That side was a waste of a slap anyways. For her new neutral, however, it should be a Fairy Type move of some sort. My main choices as of now are “Dazzling Gleam” or “Play Rough.”

Dazzling Gleam is self-explanatory, essentially being a burst of energy in all directions, which is surprisingly rare in Smash(kind of like a weaker but further reaching version of her Down Special). Play Rough could tackle an opponent into a cloud of dirt as they cartoonishly fight until the opponent jumps out, doing combo damage overtime.

That’s all for tonight! I plan on doing more of these down the line, but I don’t have any sort of schedule for that and make no promises.

[couldnt-think-of-a-better-name]

Mujika is demon!Jesus & other possible Bible references in TPN

It’s time people to get ready to have your minds blown again, my newest crazy theory post is here!

Disclaimer: This post contains manga spoilers up to and including chapter 127. Also, I don’t mean to offend anyone’s religion, I’m just making comparisons out of interest, and I am getting most of my info from wikipedia. Chapter 127 full fan translation dropped, and not just for me, but for others as well it has instantly stuck out like a sore thumb how much Mujika’s story parallelled Jesus from the New Testament

The facts: 1) Musica’s very existence is an unexplained miracle, as she is able to do things no other demons can (keep her form without eating humans), and none knows where she came from (she is most likely of common birth).

2) She can and have been performing straight up miracles of “curing” demons of their hunger, and saving them from devolving into unintelligence.

3) What’s more, she has been passing her power to her followers and supporters, who can spread her “cure”, and teachings of the need to not eat humans in order to save even more demons from starvation and devolving.

4) Her blood taking away the demons’ hunger is basically a literal take on these Bible verses with illustration added as well:

5) She was persecuted and ordered to be killed by the rulers out of no fault of her own.

6) If you are still not convinced, she was LITERALLY called the demon MESSIAH by Norman, and I honestly don’t know if I could make it clearer...

It may seem a bit random at first, but I have already mentioned Bible references in TPN in my Mujika is Medusa theory post, so this isn’t really out of the blue. As a bit of a reminder, or if you haven’t seen that post here are the possible references:

1) Minerva’s mythology book has a snake and apple just like the story in Genesis.

2) Mujika herself is later associated with an apple on a cover.

3) The Promised Neverland may be a reference to the Promised Land from Exodus, as well as to Neverland from Peter Pan. This isn’t just a similarity in name, since their demon god is responsible for the PROMISE that we know ensures the NEVERLAND where no human child gets to grow up (since they get eaten). Right, that’s it, TPN is a mashup of Peter Pan and the Bible.

There we go, I have made my crazy and outlandish claim just like before, but can I give any even remotely believeable evidence for it?

Well, for the Peter Pan part, I have already made a huge post on the list of possible references, so please head to my Theory Directory where you can find a link. If that doesn’t work for you, I will also reblog this post with a link.

As for the Bible part, well, is there any evidence beyond Mujika? Ok, how about we play a small game. Try pronouncing Son-ju and then St. John. Hear any similarity? Am I messing with you? Well, yes and no. How about you take a look at the wiki info on St John, Jesus’ apostole (not to be confused with John the baptist).

Sooo, wasn’t Son-ju the only follower of Mujika left alive? What a strange coincidence... Then didn’t Son-ju also wear a fish shaped cloak pin? I thought it signified that they were underwater, but St. John was a fisherman... 

Oh yeah, and isn’t it funny how we have James, Peter and Andrew all feature in St. John’s description? Weren’t there some characters in TPN also called these names...?

What’s even more interesting is John and James having been brothers, but John surviving James for a long time. I find that interesting because I recently discussed a theory by @fyria-hans  that Sonju may have been the one wearing the Minerva cape and sending that morse coded message to the kids to stay put where they were.

Since it was morse code, they didn’t hear a voice, and in those panels the wide shouldered frame and those shoes really looked like Sonju’s. We know he had justification for wanting the cattle children to survive “in the wild”, and he also most likely had the skill to create fake tracks to throw off Andrew. So it is a possibility that he had been James’ supporter... The other interesting fact was that both St. James and James Ratri died first out of the cast. Btw, fun fact about St. Peter: he holds the keys to heaven. Isn’t that a bit like how Peter Ratri has control over the access to the human world, which would be pretty much heaven to the cattlechildren?

Oh btw, did you know that there were two apostoles called James? So the other one was known as the Lesser James? Hm, isn’t Norman kind of a smaller, younger version of James Ratri right now? Oh yeah, and did you know that St. Andrew was the brother of St. Peter? And he is also a patron of fishermen, farmers, miners and butchers?

Hmmm, sooo we he a small number of coincidences, surely there won’t be more! Right...? RIGHT?!

Well, you might know that St. Matthew is associated with an angel

Hmm, but where did we see angels in TPN?

Ah riiight, in Minerva’s famous mythology book! And isn’t it funny how there is a CUP next to that angel... Didn’t we just have MUJIKA associated with a CUP (of blood she offered) this chapter?!

Hmm, and wasn’t there a character who had a strange connection to Mujika we didn’t understand? That she showed up in his “DYING” MEMORIES? Here is another fun fact.

LEUVIS?! But didn’t I say in my Peter Pan theory that Leuvis was associated with the Lost Boy Curly? Am I contradicting myself? Well, lucky for me, we also have this:

So the authors have confirmed that their characters can hold multiple references, and my guess is that I may have just managed to find 2 out of 3 for Leuvis ;D (It’s funny how Shirai-san wanted to be so secretive about the references, right?) Similarly, I don’t think there is any problem going through the other characters and finding references to them. So let’s dive in further!

So there is another Apostole who is called JUDE (Thaddeus). That name bears perhaps a passing resemblance to LUCE, or not? How about the things associated with this apostole?

Wasn’t Luce a bit of a LOST CAUSE? And didn’t his servants weild CLUBS? Also, what about the time Emma threw an AXE at him? Hah, these coincidences sure are getting trippy, right?

While we are on the topic of Luce, I would like to point out that before he died he made this little comment:

Huuh, so his dad is some important mofo? But we sure haven’t seen or heard anything of him ever since... right? Well, how about you compare these panels for me?

This dude who murdered Mujika’s followers suuuure bears a passing resemblance to Luce, except he looks much more buff and badass... and older...

But lets not get sidetracked! We were looking at apostles, so how about I bring up the wiki info on another one?

Funny, didn’t I associate NOUMA (isn’t that slightly close to THOMA?) and NOUS with the Twins in my Peter Pan analysis? Btw, do you know that St. Thomas died by the spear, so he is associated with it? I Thought Nouma and Nous had spears... But there is a Thoma among the kids as well! Huh, but isn’t he always with Lani? Acting as if they were something like twins... huh... Weird, but let’s look at another apostole!

So Bartholomew doesn’t sound much like Bayon, except they both start with “Ba”, but did you know that St. Bartholomew, among other things is a patron of butchers and TRAPPERS. Huh, didn’t Bayon kinda enable the trapping and hunting of cattlechildren like wild animals at Goldy Pond...?

Also, yeah, we have a Nat among the kids again, and we also have a Phil... Did you know that we have a Mark as well? While Mark wasn’t an apostole, he has some written passages in the Bible...

But lets not get hung up on a couple of names that are similar sounding! Although I can’t help but wonder what could be the name of the demon king who ordered the death of Mujika... and if it sounds anything like PONTIUS PILATE who ordered the death of Jesus? It’s a shame we don’t have his name :(

But do you know a funny fact about Pilate? He was a ROMAN prefect. Huh, didn’t we have a handful of roman references in TPN? Like mirrored LATIN, or MINERVA, a ROMAN GODDESS?!

Hmm, you know what is a funny thought though? If Mujika is demon!Jesus, and we know that we have a demon!God (the one with the demon gylph written name, called just HIM in the anime), then I wonder if the analogy extends further. You know, God has sent Jesus to the human world to be the saviour of humankind, but then the humans in charge chose to persecute and kill him... although Jesus didn’t die permanently. So I can’t help but wonder if it wasn’t demon!God who sent Mujika as demon!Jesus to be the saviour of demonkind, only to find that the demons in charge had the bright idea of persecuting and trying to kill her... but luckily she isn’t dead even though everyone thought she died! Well, if that’s the case, I bet demon!God is facepalming right now. And if that analogy holds, it may also stand that the demons are an analogy for the jews (who had their PROMISED LAND from God, while demons have their PROMISED NEVERLAND from demon!God (which also fits with my idea that demon!God used their powers to literally create the demon world below the deep sea... you can read more on this in another post of mine)) whereas the cattlechildren are an analogy for the gentiles (non-jew). If you think I’m done and ready to finish this post on that crazy thought, then you are WRONG. Some of you may have read my post on my thoughts that Mujika may be a Medusa reference. If you haven’t, just look it up either in my Theory Directory, or in the links I will put in a reblog to this post. I was anxiously awaiting this chapters to see if it would disprove that theory or confirm it. And I will be honest, I was at first disappointed with this chapter, ‘cause like a damned fool, I was expecting to see snakes, or something about petrifying gaze, BUT then I looked further into the Medusa lore, and felt like an idiot and slapping myself. Why?

Medusa had 2 sisters in the myths, together they were known as the Gorgon sisters. But Medusa was different to the other two, and her name meant ruler/queen. Hmmm, doesn’t this panel look kiiinda like 3 sisters?

Also, just in case you missed it, I have circled a jar there that looks eerily similar to the golden water jar that the kids have. Tsk, all these coincidences that I keep spotting!

So the other thing about Medusa is that in all of the myths the goddess MINERVA wants to kill her out of no fault of Medusa. Didn’t we kinda have someone in TPN right now with a MINERVA alias say something similar?

Oh hello there Norman. Funny that you would say that... In the myth Minerva doesn’t kill Medusa herself, but aids the hero Perseus who cuts off Medusa’s head, which ends up on Minerva’s famous shield the Aegis. In many sources it is said that the shield is used to petrify Minerva’s enemies. But Medusa had one more funny quality about her that had the interest of Minerva in the mythology:

“ The character of Medusa can also be seen to come along with some qualities that emerge after her tale of origin. For example, one half of Medusa’s BLOOD is HEALING – and so, along with her petrifying ability, she could also heal. Blood taken from the veins on her LEFT was POISONOUS, while blood taken from her RIGHT could RESTORE THE DEAD TO LIFE.”

Huh, didn’t we just learn that Mujika’s blood is SPECIAL? That it can “CURE” the demons from their hunger of humans, but it is also DANGEROUS for  the demons in charge and for the humans in case the “cured” demons decided to still eat humans? Btw, isn’t it funny how Mujika draws blood from her right in this panel when healing those villagers?

Maybe I didn’t need to be so worried about my Mujika Medusa theory after all...

[1358456]

Dex Holder Preference List, New-VI

It’s been over 7 months since the last one. There haven’t been too significant of a change, but some changes have been made in the mid-to-low ranks.

Top Favorites

Platinum (1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1) 晝夜長川, 初志一貫. This one is probably never going to change. She’s cute, smart, very kind and sweet (post development), very strong especially with a team overhaul, and is the staple of most of the important character bonds in all of my stories. And best of all, she had character development to reach this point in her personality, so her sweetness is not boring! And with a relatively new “discovery” that she had canonically blushed in DPPt... expect more of that sweetness in future chapters!

Y (2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2) The XY arc really kind of... f*cked her in terms of... well, pretty much everything. Got no Flying types except for the one she started with, didn’t even fully evolve said bird, caught the NPC Mega which is horsesh*t, Xerneas which is amazing but a temporary capture, uses a Rhyhorn which isn’t hers and is not for combat, and worse of all, the arc did not allow her to have a character development. But suddenly, overhaul her team and then put her in as a junior Dex Holder who does not have to shoulder all the burden by herself and now there are a lot of more interesting character progression possibilities! Y has a bit of a temper, which can lead to a bit of an aggression. Her overhauled team is very aggressive, which certainly adds to it. She’s also probably the most physically agile while making sense, which makes her very fun to use. Working with Platinum, Y can serve as her fist, pretty much, becoming the vanguard of the group, being the sword to Platinum’s shield. ... Again, with Generation VIII coming, I need to use a different comparison...

Red (3, 3, 3, 3, 3, 3) With the other guy banished into the void for eternity, the Dex Holder leader role naturally falls upon him and Blue, but with Blue more reluctant to be in the lead, it’s up to Red. But he’ll be working with her at all times anyways, for a joint-leadership, basically. And this is quite better than having just one guy being in charge. Red takes the part of commanding respect and admiration, basically, as he’s quite a nice guy overall, and... well, he’s freaking Red. He works well with pretty much every junior, and given the sheer amount of junior Dex Holder focus I give, he’s naturally involved quite a lot being nice and helpful to them.

Blue (4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4) The one of two Dex Holders whose personality and background is pretty similar to mine, so a lot of my own traits have gone into her. The other Dex Holder being Platinum, but it’s like 80% Blue and 20% Platinum, so... mostly Blue. In that joint-leadership thingy with Red, Blue takes the role of... the brains, pretty much. She’ll do most of the thinking, and guide Red in the right direction, and she’ll do her best to support him. With an overhauled team, she’d fare much better in said support, and even when doing something solo. Now, she’s ranked below Red because of the junior focus. While Blue is very kind in her own way, she does have a bit of... darkness to her complexion/personality, which does not work too well with a deeper senior-junior relationship. In short, some juniors might be a bit scared to try to get too close.

Light Preferences

Moon (5, 5, 5, 5, 5, 5) ... I should look for a USM portrait soon. ... Anyways. Moon lost her place in the Top Favorites, but not her ranking number. It’s because... well, SM/USM... is not really that... good? In short, I sense an impending disaster for that arc. Disaster as in “why the f*ck did the creators do this meaningless bullsh*t?” Now, while that may not have anything to do with Moon, it serves as a factor in what may lead to her decline in preference. She currently doesn’t have a lot holding her in place here. Her personality is... well... not really that fun to use. Her bond with Platinum is currently just a headcanon that may be shot to hell shortly which is very bad for her preference ranking, her team is weird at best, hasn’t caught a single new thing, or evolved anything on screen, etc. The biggest factors for her ranking is the fact that she may have a canon bond with Platinum, and that she’s the only healer that makes sense, and is the youngest junior, therefore the weakest, and thus the furthest from being “invulnerable”. It’s much more interesting to write with characters who are struggling with what they have to deal with, instead of “no problem, I can do everything”.

Emerald (6, 7, 6, 7, 6, 6) Even though MANY people don’t like him, Emerald is... quite good and fun to use. He’s cunning and a damn good battler, made even better with a team overhaul that sacked his bullsh*t repeat Pokemon. Now he should be much more useful in combat, which is great, since the other two Hoenn Dex Holders... I’ll get to that in a bit.

Diamond (8, 9, 8, 6, 7, 7) Admittedly, Diamond’s personality is quite... boring. The only thing holding him up here is the fact that he’s just such a sweet guy, especially to Platinum. And now, with his team updated, he should fare much better in protecting her, and will actually accomplish something in said protection. He’s not worth much if Platinum can protect herself better with her overhauled team. He will serve as her shield... er... ... portable wall? ... Why did Generation VIII have to be called Sword and Shield anyways? Blech. Anyways, he’ll protect her at all costs, and will even be useful as someone Platinum can lean on for emotional support.

White (7, 6, 7, 10, 8, 8) ... She’s cute and sweet, sure. But that’s pretty standard for the Dex Holders, and White doesn’t have much character development in that regard. She’s more accepting, I suppose, after “slipping” off of the Ferris wheel in an “accident”. But she’s still absolute sh*t at battling, using the crappiest Dex Holder team outside of Yellow’s. So she’s like a detriment in combat situations, which... is quite nice story wise, as it creates more tension! ... The biggest thing holding White in this spot is the fact that she’s a staple in the Black & White pairing that I like so much. ... More specifically, the pairing that I like hammering so damn much. Besides that pairing moment, she’s kind of... well, a filler. She doesn’t do much in the Junior Trio/Quartet. I suppose she serves a bit as a... mediator of sorts? White is the one most suited for handling other people, given her job. So she’d know the best way to talk to other people with vastly differing personalities, which is something the other Dex Holders (especially Platinum) may not. So... there’s that, I guess.

X (17, 17, 10, 9, 10, 9) He climbed a rank! Yay! ... Right now, I feel that X is a bit hard to use. If Y was with him, then it’s not as bad. But by himself... I think it’s because he was such a... douche for so much of his only arc, and his character development pretty much happened in the last two pages. I just don’t have enough information on what he’d be like post character development, so it just feels awkward using him in various chapters. Maybe as time passes, he can develop his own solid role in my stories, like Y did. ... For now, he’d start by just being super nice and friendly with Y, and be the ONE junior male Dex Holder who’s respectful to Platinum (since BW2 cast still won’t exist in my stories).

Pearl (RB, RB, RB, RB, 13, 10) What a climb. He how has his team overhauled to better suit his personality/ability, getting rid of some of the random ass additions that he never really used. And even though Heart as a story may be like a dud, its effect in making me like this guy a lot more is quite profound! Among the Morning Sound trio, he’ll serve as Platinum’s swo... ... er... ... lead pipe. He’ll protect and support Platinum in his own way, which is to take action and clearing a path, so to speak. In the end, even if Platinum does not notice his crush on her, he’d have been just as important as Diamond.

Low Preferences The name of this “tier” has been changed to make a bit more sense. I mean... what in hell is a “dead zone”, and why is it not the worst thing?

Sapphire (16, 11, 11, 11, 11, 11) She’s certainly quite... charming in her own way, and is fun to use, but... it’s not that easy anymore. Her most defined tendency is her “wildness” and physical strength, which both defy reason. And sh*t that defies reason... me just no like. I mean, what are the limits to her physical prowess?? Outside of comedic scenes? Her prowess is now going to be not that much better than Y’s. She’d still hit a lot harder, but won’t be as agile. And in terms of her as a character... well, it seems that her entire being just revolves around Ruby. Her whole objective in RS was just to keep the promise made to young Ruby. And now that objective was completed... ... ???

Ruby (15, 13, 12, 12, 12, 12) See, even in here, they’re together. Heh. So Ruby and Sapphire as characters are like... Sapphire doing what Ruby is doing or had asked her to do. It’s like the “unit” Sapphire has been issued the follow command on the “unit” Ruby, and then the command console broke so she’s just following him forever. And while Ruby does independent things from time to time, he’s kind of... forced to include Sapphire now, which kind of turns it into a pairing thing, and I don’t really like this pairing all that much. I don’t dislike it, but I just don’t really care much about it. Hence both of them are in the low preferences. They’re useful together, as both of them at once are like an independent unit that can accomplish so much. ... But they HAVE to be together, which... meh.

Black (10, 10, 13, 13, 15, 13) Man. ... STILL stuck in this chickensh*t outfi... er... that rock. Freedom might be close, but so far, it seems like White was the one who got sucked into the Light Stone? ... So the reason why this guy is down here is because I haven’t seen anything new from this guy in 5 years despite him being in an active arc. Yeah, yeah, rock. But even without that, I just don’t think he’s that... good. Yeah, he’s quite smart and noticed intricate details, but only after his mind’s been cleared, which is a bothersome. As a trainer, I don’t consider him to be all that strong, as his accomplishments were forced upon by the game plot. So the only thing pulling him up is his bond with White and... that’s just filled with pain, man. Heh. ... So... once again... until he comes out of that freaking rock...

Gold (15, 13, 14, 14, 14, 14) So Gold’s team was overhauled, giving him a Houndour, Larvitar, and a candle (Litwick) on his head like a damn Kobold. “You no take candle!” ... But well... his team was overhauled so that he’d find his own style, which is more of an explosive firepower. He’d now serve much better in combat as fitting as someone who’s one of the absolute oldest. But to be honest, the overhaul was more like... chump charity? His post-Cycle personality is kind of... well, very un-Gold-like. And his Gold-like personality is... well, he’s an ass. He’s a good guy, sure. But he doesn’t act like one because he doesn’t want to be seen as one. So he’d only help out in a situation if he had an excuse in the form of a “selfish” reason, which just doesn’t work for me.

Crystal (14, 16, 15, 15, 16, 15) Crystal’s team was updated so that she’s not using horrible sh*t all the time. But... well, the proverb in Korean goes as “giving a pearl to a pig”. Like... what would a pig do with a pearl? Does it even know the value? ... No. So like... giving Crystal a much better combat team, when she herself is just crap at fighting, it’s just... a waste. And personality wise, Crystal is kind of bland. She’s just really nice and kind and smart, which... is very standard. Her role is basically just like a support to the juniors, which can be done by any other girl, and her bond with Gold kind of results in the post-Cycle Gold, which is a bit of an issue? Hmm...

Faitsu (11, 12, 16, 16, 17, 16) The girl with absolutely no development or a team, or a reason to exist. Sure, she’s super cute and fun to see, but... that’s it. There is no other purpose. And with hopes of BW2 being non-existent... she’s not going to climb any higher unless someone else falls from above. It’s all downhill from here, but others may just fall faster.

Sun (9, 8, 9, 8, 9, 17) Welcome to the double digits. You will never see the single digits ever again. Honestly, I just don’t remember why I ranked him so high before. I don’t like his personality, or appearance. He’s very objective-driven, almost like two other male Dex Holders who are just... boring. Unless SM/USM shows me something very intriguing that’s good enough, this guy is just going to fall further. He hogs the spotlight so damn much, he doesn’t really give a f*ck about anything other than his own goals, he has the story-mode invulnerability bullsh*t going on, which defies reason, and I think he’s one of the biggest reasons why I just don’t like the Generation VII arc anymore. The only reason why he’s not in the bottom “tier” is because SM/USM still has some hope, and I’m holding onto the hope that he’ll have some incredibly sweet moment with Moon. If that doesn’t happen, then f*ck him.

Rock Bottom

Yellow (RB, RB, RB, RB, 18, RB) And back here again. But do note that she’s still not on the very bottom! In fact, her ranking remains the same as last time, in the 18th spot out of 20! It’s just that “low preferences” doesn’t apply to her. I have absolutely no interest in using Yellow beyond ONE situation, and that is not a good one for her. It’s either just heartbreak and being forgotten, or SoS shenanigans. And even for those two, White just serves as a better and more entertaining target. So... meh. Also, Yellow as a whole just defies reason. Just like how Core Enforcer f*cked her bullsh*t abilities in Destiny, so shall something else do the same to her in Legacy.

Rakutsu (12, 14, 17, RB, RB, RB) The same as Faitsu, except this guy ain’t sweet and adorable. Randomly spewed out backstory that somehow made me lose even more interest in the guy, which no hope left for BW2... How much longer until I banish the BW2 cast into the void as well? Heh...

Silver (RB, RB, RB, RB, RB, RB) The only one with no numbers in the ranking history. Always been down here, and always will. Silver is just like that guy, in that his personality is just incompatible with anyone. He’s the lone, quite, brooding type guy which makes character interactions with anyone other than Blue to be... boring as sh*t. So I’ll just save myself the headache and just have him basically not exist so I don’t have to worry about character interactions.

[the-sound-and-the-fury]

August Book Round Up!

Honestly, I had like 2 weeks without classes so I decided to abandon everything else and just read books (aka my room is a mess and I haven’t been grocery shopping in ages, but I’ve almost reached my reading goal for the year). So, sorry not sorry for how long this is.

1. Counting Fence Posts (Counting #1) - Kelly Jensen

Apparently this is written as some kind of continuing serial, but it happened at such a fast pace that I’m not sure if I liked this or if I’m going to finish.

2. Lumber Jacked (Rainbow Cove #3) - Annabeth Albert

A quick story set in the town from the Rainbow Cove series, but it was a very short and didn’t involve the characters I was interested in.

3. You Must Not Miss - Katrina Leno

This was absolutely bizarre, and took several wild turns away from what I was expecting. I love magical realism and I did like this, and I think there was some level of catharsis in watching Magpie explore Near, but I was honestly unprepared for whatever was going on here. And I feel like I've read a few books recently in which there are characters who are unlikable and frustrating in a way that they only deserve to be with each other because they wouldn't be good for anyone else, and that's kind of how this one ended? So I kind of wanted to see more consequences to their actions, but it kind of wasn't worth that effort, and I don't know how I feel about that kind of resolution. It was just major WTF vibes, although I love her writing.

4. Reverb (Twisted Wishes #3) - Anna Zabo

Kinda don’t want the series to end, but there aren’t any more members of the band (and things got a little sickeningly sweet)

5. The Wedding Party (The Wedding Date #3) - Jasmine Guillory

I do love secret relationships, but I wanted to see more of the tension between them before it started.

6. This Adventure Ends - Emma Mills

This made me cry, so I loved it, but it did take me a little longer to get into the story and figure out what was going on and what I cared about. Some of the characters didn't completely win me over (like Gabe and Vera, oops), but I would give anything to go to a Frank Sanger Presents party. Also, I fully recognized the descent into fandom madness that Sloane's dad takes, and I appreciated it. Would have liked a little better resolution about the parents and fighting in the new friend group.

7-8. Game Changers series (Game Changer #1 and Heated Rivalry #2) - Rachel Reid

Much better than the last gay hockey series I tried to read.

9-10. Him series (Him #1 and Us #2) - Sarina Bowen and Elle Kennedy

More hockey, not that I watch the actual sport, though.

11. Meet Cute: Some People Are Destined to Meet - Jennifer L Armentrout (and others)

Overall, this anthology was pretty great! I'd only read a couple of the authors before, but I was familiar with most of them, so this was a nice surprise. I've listed the stories in order of my favorite to least favorite, and most of them were really solid. Only a couple of them genuinely let me down, but mostly I just wanted more to enjoy.

12. The Bone Houses - Emily Lloyd-Jones

SO GOOD AND UNEXPECTED. I acquired an ARC at some point and I loved it! I gave it 5 stars, although it was more of a 4.5 because of all the Welsh words (I think) that I couldn't pronounce, and I was a little confused about some timelines, but that didn't get in the way of the story which was an excellent mix of fantasy, horror, and myth. Plus, Ryn and Ellis (and the goat) were perfect.

13. Good Boy (WAGS #1) - Sarina Bowen and Elle Kennedy

Picking up with characters from the Him series

14. Fence, Vol 3 - CS Pacat

I guess I just don’t care for the competition? It doesn’t feel worth it to me, and all the characters are so up and down in how they react to each other. It was kind of a bummer because I liked the second volume, but now I’m back to being annoyed by the pace and waiting to see where it goes.

15. Spin the Dawn (The Blood of Stars #1) - Elizabeth Lim

This was a good OwlCrate choice! I was a little worried about the Project Runway comparison because I don't watch that show, but I liked Maia and her creativity, and I honestly wish I could see the dresses she made. I do think some parts of the story unraveled a little too easily, but I'm definitely excited for the next book and hopeful that it gives more answers about the magic world it's set in.

16. Reticence (Custard Protocol #4) - Gail Carriger

This was an excellent end to a fun series! I didn't expect it, but Percy and Arsenic had some excellent POV chapters. There's definitely a lot of absurdity that goes on in Carriger's books (sometimes at the expense of character development or cohesive plot), but it's enjoyable, and I liked seeing how nicely things were wrapped up this time. The only drawback is that a lot of this series is reliant on characters from the previous series (Parasol Protectorate and Finishing School), which I can appreciate but did require some character research on the wiki for clarification because it's been so long since I started in this book world.

17. The Lost and Found - Katrina Leno

This pretty much gripped my emotions from the very beginning and did not let go. I loved the mostly contemporary but a little magical realism mixed in, plus the internet friend aspect of the story in which they started finding each other's lost things. It was a very sweet and sad story, but it felt very hopeful by the end. I also liked the dual narration. Frannie's POV is what really moved the story along and had a little bit more weight, although I think I liked Louis a little bit more. They both held their own, though, and there was a good bit of room for diversity among the characters, particularly with disability and mental illness representation.

18. Twice in a Blue Moon - Christina Lauren

I got an ARC of this, and it was interesting reading because the last Christina Lauren book I read was Love and Other Words, which is also split between the past/present and involved characters separating from betrayal and reconnecting. But in this case, I liked Tate and Sam a bit more, and the situation was a little more fantastical and easier to suspend any disbelief.

[tyrantisterror]

Your Own Personal Fallout

Y’know how a while back people were pitching new takes on Silent Hills, based on the idea that the scenery and monsters of Silent Hill differ depending on the psyche of the person who visits the town?  Every Silent Hill had to have a theme centered around its protagonist, a take on Pyramid Head and the Nurses, yatta yatta yatta?  I thought it might be fun if people did the same with pitches for Fallout, since there’s a great deal of variety between the different games in the franchise that can nonetheless be broken into some formulaic constants.

So uh, I wrote down the formula.  It doesn’t perfectly apply to EVERY Fallout game, but I think it works pretty well.  It’s long since I included explanations, so I’m gonna put a little cut here.  Later I’ll reblog this with my own take on a Fallout game because the idea’s been rattling in my head for a few days now and I wish to exorcise it.

Fallout: (Insert Title Here) Name and Location of The Wasteland:  i.e. something likeNew California, the Mojave Wasteland, the Commonwealth, etc. Time Period: i.e. the year this takes place in.  Anywhere from the mid 2100′s on would be reasonable. Primary Slice of Americana: While the early games were a bit more generalized, more recent Fallout games have taken a specific aspect of American culture as their theme.  New Vegas had a gambling and Wild West vibe, Fallout 4 focused on both the Revolutionary and Civil Wars, etc.  This is often tied to the location of the game and helps each different wasteland have its own personality. Central Thematic Conflict: All Fallout games explore the nature of humanity and war (or try to at least), but each one also tends to explore a specific aspect of humanity in that context.  Whether it’s the question of whether it’s better to hold onto the past or embrace the future (New Vegas) or the choice between personal freedom and personal security (Fallout 4) or, uh, whatever Fallout 3′s conflict was, the central theme of a Fallout story is important to its identity.

PC’s Title: i.e. the Vault Dweller, the Chosen One, The Lone Wanderer, The Courier/Courier 6, The Sole Survivor PC’s Motive for Exploring the Wasteland: The player character has to be a stranger in a strange land, which in turn means they have to have a reason why they ended up in said strange land.  Did they get shot in the head while delivering mail and now want to find the lowdown son of a bitch that nearly killed them?  Were they chosen to find a mcguffin the people in their hometown need?  Are they looking for a lost family member?  There are a lot of options, the stranger the better.

Bestiary

Returning Creatures and Robots: ‘Cause it’s not Fallout without radroaches, Deathclaws, and ghouls

Flimsy Justification for Why Super Mutants Are Still a Thing: In the original game it was a huge and important plot point that Super Mutants can’t reproduce and their creator offed himself.  However, Super Mutants quickly became iconic monsters in the franchise, and as a result have shown up in every game since anyway.  Fallout 3 and Fallout 4 came up with very flimsy reasons for why Super Mutants were still around, so if you include Super Mutants - and it’s going to be hard not to since, again, they’re iconic at this point - you’ll have to figure out your own terrible explanation for why they’re still around.

New Creatures and Robots: At the same time, we need new critters to keep the story fresh

Factions

Faction 1: The Well Intentioned But Flawed One

Leader: the person what leads the faction

Goal: What this faction wants to do for/to the Wasteland

Distinctive Visual and Behavioral Theme: What makes this faction stick out from all the other NPCs in the game.  Faction NPCs should stand out both visually and in their behavior, so as to make their faction’s personality known.

Faction 2: The Obviously Evil (But Partially Justified?) One

Leader: 

Goal:

Distinctive Visual and Behavioral Theme:

Faction 3: The Amoral But Not Necessarily Evil One

Leader:

Goal:

Distinctive Visual and Behavioral Theme:

Faction 4: The Fucking Brotherhood of Fucking Steel OR, ALTERNATIVELY, An Actually Interesting Fourth Choice

Leader:

Goal:

Distinctive Visual and Behavioral Theme:

Companions

Male Unaffiliated Companion:  A male companion who you can meet and ally with regardless of your reputation with the factions

Female Unaffiliated Companion: A female companion who you can meet and ally with regardless of your reputation with the factions

Robot Companion: A robot companion who you can meet and ally with regardless of your reputation with the factions

Canine Companion: A dog/cyberdog/canine-like companion who you can meet and ally with regardless of your reputation with the factions.  Most are called Dogmeat as a callback to the first canine companion in the first Fallout.

Third Nonhuman Companion: A ghoul, super mutant, intelligent deathclaw, or other sort of non-human companion who you can meet and ally with regardless of your reputation with the factions.

Evil Companion: A companion who you can meet and ally with regardless of your reputation with the factions who is also just a total fucking asshole.  Just a real shitheel of a person.

Faction 1 Companion: A companion who allies with you if you have a good reputation with the first faction.

Faction 2 Companion: A companion who allies with you if you have a good reputation with the second faction.

Faction 3 Companion: A companion who allies with you if you have a good reputation with the third faction.

Faction 4 Companion: A companion who allies with you if you have a good reputation with the fourth faction.

Other NPCs: Fallout games have a lot of fun, lovable, or otherwise notable and interesting NPCs that aren’t companions or faction leaders, and this is where you’d list these extraneous characters.

Locations:

Starting Town: the first town you come across when you leave the starting area.  Will essentially serve as a tutorial for the basic stuff in the game.  There will be at least one merchant with mostly cheap and low level stuff, a doctor with medical supplies, some colorful but ultimately flat NPCs, and an easy conflict for you to solve in at least a few different ways, ending in a brief bit of conflict before you go on your way.

Small Town 1: Similar to the starting town, small town 1 isn’t the source of a lot of quests, but it’s where you’re introduced to the conflict between the factions, and should have at least one or two important plot hooks.

Small Town 2: Similar to the previous two towns, this isn’t a place you’ll be going to often, but it does have at least one quest associated with it that’s really fascinating, encouraging the player to explore more.

The Big City: NPCs all over the map reference this place, making you know it’s a BIG DEAL.  It’s loaded with side quests, merchants, and some of the best NPCs in the game, and is also involved in at least a few of the main plot quests.  You will meet at least one of your companions here.

The Less Big City:  Almost identical to The Big City in terms of complexity and importance, but is also noticeably lesser in comparison.  It’s slightly smaller, has a few less sidequests, etc.  Still, it’s important, and you will meet at least one companion here as well as have at least one main quest take place in it.

The Sketchy City: Also very similar to the Big City in terms of importance and complexity, the Sketchy City has the quirk of being a far more dangerous place.  It’s a wretched hive of scum and villainy and also some of the coolest/weirdest side quests in the game.  You will meet at least one companion here - probably the evil one.

Faction 1 Headquarters:  The primary base of the first faction.  Can be as small as a single building or as large as a whole city.

Faction 2 Headquarters: see above

Faction 3 Headquarters: see above

Faction 4 Headquarters: see above

Scary Sidequest Dungeon: A building, vault, cave, or similar location that is the basis of a particularly scary sidequest.

Funny Sidequest Dungeon:  A building, vault, cave, or similar location that is the basis of a particularly funny sidequest.

Tedious and Enormous Sidequest Dungeon:  A building, vault, cave, or similar location that is the basis of a sidequest that just takes for fucking ever to finish. 

Super Weird Sidequest Dungeon:  A building, vault, cave, or similar location that is the basis of a sidequest that is notably weird and unlike pretty much any other sidequest in the game in terms of its aesthetics, enemies, etc. 

The Obligatory Vault: There has to be at least one vault, or else it’s not Fallout.

[trampisms]

TASK 001 — DIG A LITTLE DEEPER (PART ONE / THE QUESTIONS)

BASIC INFORMATION.

What is your character’s full name? Michael Bennett How is it pronounced? Mike-al Benn-ett Is there a meaning behind it? His parents just liked the name, but Michael actually means ‘Who is like God’ which is ironic, because, not him. Does your character have any nicknames? He’s almost never referred to as Michael. He goes mostly by Tramp, a moniker given to him by his boss, Tony, who applauded how the then-teenager had ran away from home with no plan of action. When and where were they born? February 18th, 1991 in New York What’s their zodiac sign and what traits do they most relate to? Aquarius. Tramp doesn’t know much about astrology, but if he were to Google his sign and list off the traits that apply to him, he’d say that he agrees with the following: independent, runs from emotional expression, eccentric and often feeling limited/constrained. What’s their nationality? American What’s their occupation? His official title at Tony’s Italian Restaurant is dishwasher, but since he’s basically family to Tony himself, he’s sometimes allowed to make a few extra bucks bussing or waiting tables. His casual and not-so-legitimate side job is a street con artist. What gender do they identify themselves as? Cisgender male.

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE.

What’s their eye color? Dark brown Do they wear glasses or contacts? Nope. Hair color? Dark brown, almost appears black when it’s all greased and slicked back. Have they ever dyed their hair or wanted to? Nope, why ruin his iconic look? Height? 5′9″. Body build? On the skinnier side, but surprisingly fit and healthy. Do they have any birthmarks? He has two tiny dark moles just beneath the lower left corner of his lips. Do they have any piercings or tattoos? Surprisingly, no. If not, do they want to get some? He’d definitely consider getting a tat or two! Do they have a healthy life style? No. He drinks and smokes excessively.  How easy do they get sick? Not very, he doesn’t even seem to get hangovers. Any marks on their body ( injuries, … )? He has a couple small scars here and there from past minor altercations, but nothing major.  What’s their personal style/how do they like to dress? Despite the constant comparisons to Danny Zuko from Grease, he’s more of a Kenickie. Bad-boy dress sense that’s heavily influenced by 50s Greaser style, but a little less polished. Black fitted tees, faded jeans with signs of wear and tear, Converse, leather jackets with a few scuffs on the sleeves. What is their favorite and least favorite feature about themselves? His hair is his favorite, obviously. His least favorite would probably be his... he’ll get back to you when he can think of something.

PERSONALITY.

Positive traits? He’s resourceful, independent and charming. Negative traits? He’s also deceptive, mischievous and cunning.   What do they consider to be the best and the worst part of their personality? He loves his ability to get away with anything due to how undeniably likable he is despite his often rebellious behavior. The worst part would have to be his lack of motivation to chase a more fulfilling way of life, despite being unhappy with his current level of fulfillment.  Are they more extroverted or introverted? Definitely extroverted! Any talents?  ‘Charming’ people to get what he wants out of them, providing comic relief, and finding treasure in another man’s trash. He also occasionally sings and plays guitar, but this is just a casual hobby rather than something he takes seriously.  What are their fears? Everything in his life eventually becoming boring. Do they have any phobias? Others seeing him vulnerable. What is their soft spot? Love. List 3 pet-peeves they can’t stand? Authority being taken too seriously, people with the inability to lighten up, upper-class folk looking down their noses at him.

EDUCATION.

How far did they go in school? Are they still studying? When Mike arrived in Carthay and Tony took him under his wing, he had the opportunity to go to college, but it was too much money and not really his kind of thing. Do/Did they like school? He liked high school, but it was mostly just the social side of it that he enjoyed, as well as a few classes such as Literature and Sociology.  What type of student are/were they? He was the perfect combination of class clown and bad boy. The type of guy who had everyone wanting to sit at his lunch table, but would also be caught smoking and skipping class every now and then. What is/was their favorite subject? Literature. And their least favorite? Anything Math-related. What were they/would they have been voted as “most likely to…” in the yearbook? Most Likely to Defy Expectations

FAMILY.

Who are your character’s parents? Elizabeth Bennett (née Reed) and Larry Bennett. How would your character describe them? Mike resents Elizabeth and Larry a lot. They essentially kicked him out when he was still just a teenager, and that has had a deep, lasting effect on him. Despite this, he still loves his parents and misses what he had with them before they lost the ability to see eye-to-eye with him. Do they have any siblings?  He has a little brother, Max, a thirteen-year-old who he has lovingly nicknamed ‘Scamp’. Tramp and Scamp are actually in contact with each other, they write letters back and forth, but have actually only met a handful of times due to the distance and estranged nature of their family.  Are they close with their family? If all of that didn’t answer this for you already: no, he’s not.

ROMANCE & SEXUALITY.

What’s their romantic and sexual orientation? Bisexual and biromantic Are they seeing anyone right now? No? Maybe? It’s complicated. He’s definitely got his eye on one person only. Have they ever been in an relationship? Yes! Quite a few, actually. Have they ever been in love? He might be in love right now, for the first time — even if he can’t see it. How easy do they fall for someone? In his own words, “I never fall in love but I often fall in lust.”  In their view, why didn’t any past relationships work out? Because he’s only ever treated romance as a source of validation, a way to feel wanted.  What do they look for in someone? A taste for fun and a big heart. Do they believe in love at first sight and fate? Yes but also no. What’s their views on romance? Do they go after it or avoid it? He spreads romance around like a common cold, that’s for sure. But he’s starting to change now that he’s got his sights set on just one person, for the very first time. Did they have their first time already? How was it in their point of view? He doesn’t even remember his first time, he’s slept around a lot. What a hoe. What is their view on sex? People over-romanticize it. Sex is fun and people shouldn’t take it so seriously when it comes to judging others about it. What are their turn ons and turn offs? Turn ons: breathy whispers, eye contact, lots of kissing, lip biting. Turn offs: any cliches being used in dirty talk. Were they ever cheated on or have they cheated on someone? Not surprisingly, Tramp has cheated during past relationships, but he wouldn’t do it again. Do they want to get married in the future? Tramp Bennett? Tied down? Have kids? Tramp Bennett? A parent?!

QUIRKS.

Are they right or left handed? Right. What’s a word that’s always on their lips? “C’mon.” Is there a saying they keep on repeating? “It’s all ours for the taking!” Do they curse? Quiiite a lot. What’s their worst habit? Deceiving people. Do they drink or smoke? How frequently? Yes, frequently.Tramp finishes a pack of cigarettes every couple of days, and he drinks most weekends and some nights after work. Are they an early bird or a night owl? A night owl for sure. How tidy is their room? Put it this way, it’s far from perfect. His room is relatively hygienic but there’s quite a lot of clutter. How long to they usually take getting ready in the morning? Probably about half an hour, most of which is dedicated to his hair.

FAVORITES.

What’s their favorite color? Brown. Favorite movie? Into The Wild. Music Genre? Old Britpop and good ol’ rock n’ roll. Food? Spaghetti. Book? On the Road by Jack Kerouac.  Favorite non-alcoholic drink? Coke. Ice Cream Flavor? Chocolate. Indoors or outdoors? Outdoors.