#but i did it anyway and had fun doing it so
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itachiiwrites · 3 days ago
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𐙚 𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐂𝐊𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐄¡!
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cw. 18+ flithy smut, Sub!Gojo, Dom!Reader, Enemies to lovers, gojo is a virgin and the word loser is used a lot.
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AcademicRival!Satoru believed he'll have a merry time getting paired with you for your upcoming assignment, afterall, you were fun to pick on and he adored the way the vein would pop on your forehead after he says something to completely throw you off the tracks. His plan was to make you do all the work while he gets on your nerves to pass his time.
Satoru prides himself in being jack of all trades, he's the captain of the collegiate basketball team, student body president, has 4.0 GPA in his astrophysics major and is on the dean's list, his stunning good looks were to kill for and to add to those never ending positive attributes he's filthy rich, if it wasn't so obvious by his sports car's raging engine whenever he drifts it around in the campus. Gojo Satoru was a star. Gojo Satoru was game.
Admirers and people lining up for him was no big of a deal, it is the routine when you're him. You're one of the many people who find him fascinating, find him attractive (which was something you would never admit to, even if a ceiling fell over you) but still, why was he shaking his legs underneath the table while he watches the furrow of your brow focused on the screen in his dorm room? He's way too distracted to read this paper about Aesthetics and Marxism—he only took up sociology because it was a humanities requirement within his course and also because he was utterly, out of his mind bored.
Feeling the burning gaze of his abnormally blue eyes, you slam your fist onto the table and anyone who was in their right mind would be able to decipher that your expression was twisted in unfiltered annoyance, the mask of a small, pleasant smile as your veins popped on your forehead was failing miserably. "We could get a lot done if you didn't think this was a staring contest"
"Wow, really? I did think it was a staring contest with how boring all this is" He mocked knowing it would only agitate you further, his eyes shamelessly trailed over the plushness of your thighs and how the skirt fabric sat on top of it, his thoughts were digressing, wondering about the colour of your pant—
"What are you looking at, pervert..?" You point it out to break the unholy chain of his thoughts immediately, his eyes widened by being caught off-guard, evading away to focus on the papers in front of him, lasering his eyes to aim at understand at whatever 'Russian constructivism' meant, his fist gripped the pencil tighter and tighter as he felt unbelievably panicked at being caught, the trance of embarrassment breaking away along with a sharp 'snap' of the pencil.
With a faltering attempt to maintain his cockiness, Satoru looked at you. "Just looking at how much of a loser you look, even broke a pencil because it's annoying how nerdy you dress" a painful roll of his eyes followed by, but his ventures to cover the way he felt were too poor and what was the parameter? The goddamned seductive smile on your pretty lips.
Gojo Satoru was game, but he was a fucking virgin.
"Lying is not going to save your ass, I can literally see the tent in your pants, what are you..a teenager..?" The mockery in your eyes and the superiority you had over him in that very moment was enough to make him let go of his guards and feel his knees buck. You were beautiful and he was so pathetically down bad for that.
"Unlike you, I have many things to excel at..who has time for something as stupid as this anyway" You had to give some kudos for the fact that his voice remained balanced despite the throbbing erection in his pants, and you made a face with slanting pursed lips that was to show him you believed him, although anyone could tell you didn't.
"what is with that face? You think you're better than me? What do you know about sex, having your cute nose burried in those stupid books all day.." And that statement makes you raise your brow, Satoru Gojo, called you cute? This was something, this was when he knew he messed up and you had all the power.
"Why don't I show it to you then? You wanna be a loser in this one area? Come on.. you're better than that, right?" Satoru gulped, the offer was beyond tempting, all those fantasies he ran his mind for while wrapping his hand around his cock in his dark dorm room, relieving himself while yearning for the warmth for your mouth and cunt—finally had the chance to be fleshed out to life. It was tempting indeed but what about his ego?
"Sure, I bet you suck at this too" He huffed a laugh with his faux confidence, only to be miserably proved wrong within a few minutes.
"Please— fuck! Your mouth feels so good.." He breathed heavily with an almost violent rise and fall of his chest, his legs sprawled wide as he was on the couch of his room and you, his beautiful arch-nemesis was skillfully using his cock like it was your personal toy. Satoru didn't feel he was being sucked off for his pleasure, he was being sucked off to be proven of the fact that you were in control here.
He reached his trembling hands to tangle within your locks as you let a thick glob of your spit fall onto his tip with a grin, tantalisingly rubbing it on your glossed lips. "Better than your stupid fist right?" And he moans at that degradation, his eyes marbeling with glassy tears, your pride swelled more than anything.
"Ever seen tits in real life? Or are you that much of a loser to have Inoue Waka as your wallpaper.." You teased further, unbuttoning your blouse and unfastening your bra from the front to spill out your breasts and Satoru's brain simply short circuits the moment the cushiness of your tits gather around his cock and he feels the tightening sting on his abdomen, dripping out loads of his cum onto your tits, painting you like the masterpiece you were with thick ribbons of his ejaculate.
You hum, licking a long strip from his base, swirling your hot tongue around his softening, sensitive frenum as he is limp by the pleasure.
"There's no way you're this good.." He spoke, almost sounding as if something unbelievable happened, almost angry.
"Such a good boy 'Toru.." You giggle in response, kissing his abdomen and he feels pathetically, helplessly in love with you.
Gojo Satoru was game, but you were a roulette.
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stageturn · 2 days ago
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so unbelievably happy that so many people participated óvò
you are all so unbelievably talented and lovely and the pinnacle of being alive and being Artists. i am very glad to have connected one bit of art i did to so many people, and from what ive seen, you guys had fun doing it too!!!!!!!!! the absolute best kind of interaction ever is Art.
i have a whole lot of big feelings about it but sincerely to everyone who has joined so far thank you!! you bring so much joy to my life and i save all of your posts and go around showing my friends and my cats because they are so . aaahgh. (enter exploding and colors and the birth of a star but its a calm pond with some lilly pads) do u get it :( you are love
anyways ,,, ahem. this dtiys has no end date so if youd like to join but havent, please !!! this world needs as much art as it can get ^^
thank u !!!!!!
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(slides u a jon) got time for a draw this in your style?
use #stageturnDTIYS to participate :D
HAVE FUN!!!!! (closeups under the cut :3)
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and here's the actual doodle of s1 Jon
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the-darklings · 1 day ago
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Oh god please write the timebomb fic!!! (or several lol)
ೀ pairing: ekko/jinx
ೀ wc: 5k
ೀ summary: "Always a dance with you, huh?" Or: two years after the battle versus Noxus, Ekko receives an unexpected visitor.
ೀ author notes: ask and you shall receive!!! I wrote this in one sitting in some weird ass haze and barely edited it, but this is the most fun I had in a long while so I hope you enjoy!!!
ೀ read it on ao3 | listen to the playlist
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The first few days after the battle, Ekko doesn’t rest. He barely sleeps or eats, or allows himself time to think. 
He can’t. 
There’s too much to do. The dead are in their dozens. His Firelights took a major hit, and he knows that for the next few months his fingers will be numb from painting their pictures on the mural day in and out. So many who could have lived but didn’t. So many could have had better futures. But if he just runs, if he keeps pushing on, he can outrun these regrets and his grief, too. This way, he doesn’t remember Vi’s heartbroken expression when she pulled him into a bone-crushing hug after the fight, blood and sweat still clinging to her, her words choked when she told him—
Four seconds. 
He could have saved her. He would have hauled her snarky ass out of that tunnel, ripped that bomb from her hands. He would have—
He runs from those thoughts, too. They suffocate him, and Ekko has too much to fix to be suffocated by his grief right now. 
He sure as hell didn’t fight for Piltover. He fought for Zaun, for Firelights. Because he knew Ambessa Medarda would never settle for anything other than complete subjugation. She would have destroyed Ekko’s home. She was already busy murdering and imprisoning their people, and nothing but complete eradication would have followed in her wake. 
Ekko did it for… her. The blue-haired symbol of defiance, of uprising. A loud declaration that they won’t live under Piltover’s oppression forever, that they’ll reach greater things one day and won’t be silenced. They won’t wait for permission to breathe again. It’s what she would have wanted, he convinces himself, even though part of him knows Jinx would have enjoyed the chaos of the fight more. Or maybe not. Not since that little girl. Not since he had to save her from herself over and over again, only to lose her anyway. 
Undercity mourns her. Her visage is everywhere. Jinx the Saviour. She would have hated it, he thinks wryly. She never got to see just how loved she was. 
Maybe he should have grabbed her and ran away. Maybe he should have let the world go to hell and saved her instead. The thought, born of fatigue, lingers only for a few fleeting seconds, a rare moment of selfishness amidst a day spent fixing the world around him. 
Maybe, maybe, maybe. If only he had tried harder when they were kids and saved her from Silco. If only he didn’t give up on her. 
She’s always been his biggest maybe. And now they’ll never be more. Not this version of them. Never him and her as they were. 
Aw, are you gonna mope now, boy saviour?
“You’re not here.”
It punches clean through his chest. The realisation of it. The sheer, horrible weight. He’ll never see her again. 
Constants and variables, Benzo told him once. Constants and variables, young Ekko.
A week after the battle versus Noxus, Ekko sinks to his knees inside his room, exhausted and heartbroken, and sobs. 
.
Things begin to settle. Slowly, at first, the city might have been gutted after the battle but not destroyed, the morale low but hopeful. Hexgates are gone, and Ekko is glad when he finds out. He doesn’t want to see or hear anything about the arcane for a while. No magic in the world could fix the pain festering in his chest. 
Sevika, Silco’s old second-in-command and once his sworn enemy, comes to him two weeks after the attack. 
“They’re making me a council member,” she says, grunting when she falls into the tiny wooden chair inside his room. 
She’s always been a threatening figure, power rippling from every shift of her body, but Ekko isn’t sure he wants to fight anyone right now. Nor does she seem interested in strangling him. She lights a cigarette, her scarred features set in a fearsome scowl. 
“And?” he asks for anything better to say. “How is that any of my business?”
Sevika exhales through her nose, reminding him of an angry bull, all smoke and steely resolve. “I’m the only one presenting Zaun or her interests.” 
Ekko almost rolls his eyes. Of course she is. The Council is simply falling over themselves to fix the situation. After months of harassment and oppression, false arrestments and beatings, they asked them to bleed for Piltover and its interests with nothing but the bare minimum courtesy extended towards them afterwards.
“I could use you, kid,” Sevika continues, and Ekko forces his anger away, loosening his fists. “Exactly for that reaction. You’re smart as hell, and been a pain in my ass for years. Pilties will try to walk all over us again in a few months’ time. You and I both know it. We gotta beat them in their own game. Not let them silence us again. I could use someone like you. Be my adviser. You’ll have a direct line to the Council. We’ll make an actual change. It’s better than whatever this is.”
Ekko’s expression sours at her words while Sevika’s gaze flicks around his room in contemplation. He works all day to a point of exhaustion, then passes out. It’s the only way he’s been able to continue, day in and day out. Being in a leadership position means you can’t take time off to grieve. Too many people are relying on him. It’s bad enough that he accidentally abandoned his people for months without meaning to. The guilt he still feels over everything has been nearly suffocating. 
It’s a good gig, hero! You should do it and be a thorn in her side.
Ekko blinks the flash of blue from his vision, rubbing his brow just as Sevika adds: “It’s what she would have wanted, you know.”
A jolt of electricity runs through him. Everyone, even Vi, has been avoiding mentioning Jinx in front of him.  
His jaw clenches. “You don’t know that.”
“Kid, I know what not letting go looks like,” she says, and it almost sounds compassionate, or as close to it as someone like her can get. “We had our differences in the past, I know as much—”
“You killed my people,” Ekko snaps. “Do you know how many lives you destroyed with Shimmer?”
“Sure do,” she replies listlessly, smoke billowing past her lips. “I won’t try to justify my actions to you. But y’know, when you were gone, Jinx united Zaun in a way I haven’t seen since Vander. Beats me how she did it, but people believed in her. Even your Firelights.”
It mirrors everything he’s seen and heard for weeks. Jinx freeing their people, Jinx the Saviour, the beacon for their new future. The one who set and lived by extreme examples, who made Piltover back off and take the Undercity seriously. Because they all finally realised that there can never be peace without a fight. She should be here to fight this battle with him. Ekko should be busy arguing with her that blowing up another building will not make things right. He shouldn’t be walking around with her ghost a step behind him, tormenting him with ideas of what could and should have been. 
“And now she’s dead!”
His ears ring, his chest heaves, and he clutches his thudding heart, willing it back in its cage. He didn’t mean to come undone so easily. 
“Yeah. Yeah, she is,” Sevika says, and there’s a grimness to her when she says it, an unexpected pain buried somewhere deep in her gruff voice that makes Ekko see her differently. “I get it.”
“No,” he whispers, pained. “You don’t.”
.
Seven months pass before Ekko finally picks up a brush for her. 
He sleeps better at night but not without nightmares. Not without remembering Powder from the alternative universe and how they danced. How sweet her kiss felt. Not without that memory smearing to finding Jinx with a grenade in her hand, again, ready to disappear, go somewhere he could never reach her. 
Ekko still hears the detonation in his ears, over and over, on a sickening loop. His mind likes to torture him with ideas he failed to save her. That no matter what he does, or how he mends time, she’s forever out of reach. His blue beacon, his lighthouse he can never find in the depthless ocean of reality. 
Many have drawn her, but he still thinks that no one knows the exact hue of her hair or the wicked shine in her eyes better than him. He’s spent an entire lifetime examining them, looking for them in a sea of thousands. 
Their city is rebuilding. He agreed to Sevika’s request after a few days of contemplation. Caitlyn Kiramman’s expression when he ambled into the Council room was worth the additional burden now on his shoulder. But she’s changed too, matured, and now fills her position as the Council’s leader well. 
Ekko won’t forget how she allowed his friends to be imprisoned, tortured, and, in some cases, killed, but her regret made her side with him and Sevika more often than not during voting, and maybe he could at least one day forgive her. Another maybe. For Vi, if nothing else, who clearly loves the blue-haired woman fiercely. 
The barren wall stares at him. He’s painted Powder before, but this is different. One day, his friend, his dearest friend, was simply gone. Without a goodbye, in a wake of tragedy. The life Ekko once had disintegrated beneath his feet overnight. Benzo killed. Vander dead. Mylo and Claggor too. Vi died as well. Or so he believed for years. Powder was missing until a different knife was delivered to him weeks later, when the word on the street spread about Silco being seen with a little girl with blue hair. 
Ekko sighs, hanging his head. The city is healing, but he isn’t, or at least not as quickly. 
He runs his hand over the white wall, picturing Jinx as he saw her last, those precious hours between talking her down from the abyss and their joint attack on Noxian forces. It felt so good to rely on her again, to stand with her, side by side. As natural as breathing. 
You’re the order to my chaos, hero. 
“Leave me alone,” he says quietly, head hung low. “It’s been months.”
A figment of Jinx chortles, arms crossed over her chest as she leans back against the wall. You would get bored to death without me. Ha! Get it? 
Shooting a glare at her, Ekko picks up a brush, his fingers quivering. Tears burn in his eyes when he dips the brush into the paints he painstakingly mixed. He works, and works, until his eyes are dry and his wrist hurts. Ekko doesn’t stop until he loses light and when he steps back, he is looking at Jinx. Equal parts chaos and something ethereal. 
He wipes angrily across his mouth when he tastes saltiness pooling there and goes home. 
There’s no sleep that night. 
.
Time is a strange thing. It weaves and flows. Without his Z-Drive, he has no control over it. Time simply goes on, and he’s the passenger in a vehicle he doesn’t want to move. 
He’s important these days. He’s one of the few bright minds still left, and he’s endlessly busy with something. City of Progress needs every mind that can be spared. Wounds heal, and time dulls the memory, but not everything is so easily forgotten. Piltover moves quicker, but the Undercity erects a statue for Jinx beside Vander’s. He sees Vi at the ceremony, and they exchange strained smiles. They speak sometimes, but it’s not as often as it used to be. They’re both dealing with their grief the best they can.
At least Vi has Cait. Ekko has nothing but a cold bed and purpose. 
He and Sevika make a good team. It almost makes him wonder what could have been in a universe where they were on the same side from the start. His Zaun, cracked but not broken, is resembling the bright version of the Zaun and Piltover he saw in the alternative verse. There're years of work still left, but there’s something like hope in him, fragile and misplaced as it might be. 
A year passes. Then two. He visits the graves; he lights candles for those lost. Some days Ekko sees her, other days he doesn’t. He hopes for a glimpse, even when he knows he shouldn’t. It should be easier to let go of what you never had, right? 
His mural for Jinx grows. Other faces join her, people who died believing in her, surrounding the one they placed their trust in. And, at the centre of it all, her, her, her. 
Still her. 
Always her. 
He’s not sure what arouses him. He hasn’t slept well in years, perpetual exhaustion clinging to him like a shawl. Some would call it the weight of living, no doubt. 
There’s a shift in the air, a disturbance that’s not enough to make Ekko jolt awake and reach for a weapon, but enough to make his eyes flutter open. He breathes the cool air, pushing his grogginess away. 
There’s a shape at the foot of his bed. Small and round. It takes several seconds for his vision to adjust, for him to realise that a hooded figure sits perched on his bed, knees pulled to their chest.
Ekko hasn’t had to rely on his battle instincts in two years, but there’s enough left in him to attack without hesitation. His fingers tangle in the cloak, shoving the figure down, his knee pressing harshly into their abdominal, hands seeking the intruder’s throat—
“Wow, little man, you sure know how to roll out the welcoming mat,” the all too familiar voice drawls before his fingers tighten instinctively around the slender, warm throat. 
A haggard breath forces from Ekko’s parted mouth. In the wild struggle, the stranger’s hood has slipped down, revealing a familiar face with a startling crop of blue hair. His heart squeezes painfully, forcing him away from Jinx’s apparition. 
“Leave me alone,” he croaks, rubbing his eyes till his vision swims. “Just leave me alone! I don’t want to see you anymore!”
“Huh, fine. I thought after two years, the welcome would be a tad warmer. Brrr.”
Ekko pushes himself to his feet, stumbling away, watching warily as the young woman sits back up, picking at her messy hair. She looks different. A little older than Jinx from his visions or memories. Her hair is longer, though nowhere near the same length she once had braided into two twin braids. She swings her leg back and forth, another pulled up to her chest while she watches him. And… her eyes. Ekko was the last person to see her with blue eyes before their battle on the bridge. The last time he saw Jinx alive, they were a dangerous, burning violet. 
Now, even with the shade of the night, they’re a muddy mix between the blue he once knew, and the piercing violet that made her so deadly. As if that restless edge in her has calmed down and settled. 
Ekko’s chest heaves as he stumbles back a step. 
“Soooo—” she begins.
“You’re alive.”
Jinx shrugs her shoulders. “Yup. Clearly. In the flesh even,” she crows, but it’s more muted when compared to the wildness he once faced off against. 
His hand flies to his stomach, and Ekko distantly wonders if he’s about to throw up in front of a girl he’s spent his entire life loving. 
Mercifully, his stomach settles, but his heart beats so loudly he can hear the blood rushing in his skull. 
“You’re alive,” he repeats, harder this time. “It’s been two years.”
“Yeah.”
She doesn’t offer more than that, but there’s a shadow over her narrow face. She’s healthier. There’s more weight on her bones, her skin has lost some of the pallidness. As if someone took Powder and Jinx, split them clean down the middle, and fused them into one body. Stronger, more self-reassured, less teetering on the brink. 
“Would have written but mail is crappy where I was,” she jokes, her voice a familiar, drawling litany. “Besides, this is so much more mysterious—”
He closes the distance between them in two steps. His room isn’t big but he would have walked, ran, sprinted if needed to close the distance between them. His arms wrap around her and Ekko squeezes her so tightly he hears a small breath escape Jinx. She’s solid and warm. Smells faintly of sea and something metallic. Ekko buries his face in the soft crook of Jinx’s neck, gasping for breath. 
“Woah, hero, you’re gonna break my ribs,” she whispers, but her arms wind around him, more careful, unsure. “I thought you hated me?”
Even when he releases her, Ekko’s hands linger on her, go to her face, examining her through the crack of light illuminating his room. 
“I saw you,” he breathes, devastated. “I saw you everywhere. I hoped to see you everywhere.”
Something flickers over her face, an unknown thing, secretive and distant as she’s always felt to him. 
“Geez, seeing things? And they call me crazy.”
“You’re not crazy.”
There’s such vehemence in his voice it startles them both. Jinx nibbles on her inner cheek, searching his face cautiously. “I thought you’d be mad.”
Ekko laughs, a low huff of amusement. “Do you think I care for you so little, huh?”
Too late he realises he’s without a shirt, and is, in fact, mostly bare before the girl he’s harboured a crush on for years. Near boyish shyness forces Ekko back, making him clear his throat. His hands tremble when he reaches for a discarded t-shirt, hoping it doesn’t smell bad when he pulls it over his head. When he glances at her over his shoulder, Jinx is still there, still watching him, though there’s a thoughtful air around her. 
When she notices him looking, she offers him a sarcastic grin.
“No need to get shy, stud.”
“Shut up,” he grumbles.
He plops down on his unmade bed, watching her watch him. Her face is half hidden by her arms propped on her bent knee, but the silence between them isn’t awkward. They’re taking each other in, taking in the changes that have touched them both in the last two years.
“Why come back now?” he asks, eventually. 
Jinx blinks, near feline-like, dropping her head back to stare at his ceiling as if it may offer an answer. “I’m a crappy friend, but not that crappy. Happy birthday, wonder boy.”
There’s a creak in his heart, a lightness in his ribcage, a balloon of affection despite their troubled history that inflates just for her. “You remember my birthday?”
She makes a sound at the back of her throat. Glances at him from the corner of her eye. “Well, we picked it together, silly, so sure I do.” Shadows fall over her features when she angles her head away. “I… I never thought I would come back—that it was better this way.”
“I’m glad you did.”
Something close to a smile ghosts over her face at his response. Ekko can’t rip his gaze away from her. He fears that if he does, he’ll wake up and she’ll be gone again, and he’ll have to relive the agony of losing her again. 
“Does Vi—”
“No. No. And it’s better this way.”
“But—”
“Drop it, Ekko. Please.”
He does. Because this is too good to be true, and he doesn’t want this to end. Emotions mix inside him, battling for dominance, so he sits there, letting them all wash over him. 
“You’ve been busy,” she says abruptly, nodding her head in the general direction of the outside world. “Their new wonder boy. I’m not surprised. You’ve always been good at creating things. Good things.”
“And you’ve always been good at fixing them,” he says. 
Ekko thinks back on the countless times she helped him to fix up old rubbish others have discarded and sell them in Benzo’s shop as small treasures. It feels, now, like a lifetime ago. In a sense, it has been. 
She snorts; it’s an ugly, hateful sound. “Not always.”
There’s weight to how she says it. Pain lingers in each syllable, more so a whispered confession. She’s thinking of others, those lost through accidents or her own direct involvement. 
“I’m sorry about Isha,” Ekko says carefully, thumb pressing into the hollow of his bare knee. He itches to take her hand, to smooth his thumb over her knuckles instead, but he doesn’t. She’s never been his to touch. “Vi told me about her.”
Jinx shrinks, turning away and he mentally curses. A sore spot even years later. Understandably so. 
“I… shit. Sorry.”
“What’s with the long face?” she exclaims suddenly, jumping to her feet and twirling. Her hands drop to her hips and she grins at him, all mischief. “C’mon, we gotta get out of here.”
Ekko squints. “Uh, what?”
“It’s your birthday, silly,” she says, like it should be obvious. “We’re going to spend the day together.”
.
Jinx keeps her hood up, her gait steady. Any sign of blue tucked away. She’s changed her attire to draw less attention, and as they walk in the hazy dawn light towards the bridge separating the sister cities, it feels almost normal. Casual. Not at all like the last time they spoke, they were about to fight side by side in a battle for their lives. Not at all like he spent two years thinking she’s dead. That still stings, but knowing how she felt back then, the state she was in before he talked her down from the edge, the pain she’s been through, Ekko can’t bring himself to feel resentful. He only wants to hold her and tell her it’ll be okay because she’s not alone. 
“You’re not saying, are you?” he asks, hands in his pockets. 
“Nope,” she replies, popping the p. “Can’t.”
Words rush to his tongue. Insistence that she can and should stay—that there’s space here for her, not just in his life, but in the new Zaun he’s helping to shape. He almost admits it to her then. That he’s built this for her and the ones they lost along the way. 
Ekko continues walking, staring at the ground, noticing too late she’s fallen behind. He peers over his shoulder and freezes when he notices what’s caught her attention. The mural. Welcoming anyone coming into Zaun. Her face, slightly younger but now immortalised, peers back at them. 
“You drew this.”
He loosens a breath. “Yeah, I did. I, uh, just…”
Jinx reaches for her own face, fingertips ghosting over the painted wall. There’s tension on her face when she turns to look at him, something piercing and hard and thoughtful. Same pinch to her eyebrows he saw earlier in his bedroom. 
“I won’t let them take you,” he says softly. “If they came for you. I would fight for you.”
She doesn’t break their eye contact. “I know. You shouldn’t, but I know you would.”
“Then stay.”
She saunters forward, stopping only when they’re almost chest to chest. “I’m not her, y’know? The other me. The one you love.”
He smiles, huffing a small breath, refocusing on her and her small pout. Ekko reaches forward, tucking a few stray strands back under Jinx’s hood, lingering for a beat. “I wasn’t her Ekko, either. That’s why I came back. I like this version of you just fine. But just so we’re clear, every version of you is a pain in my ass.” He tugs on a small braid, grinning when she shoots him an annoyed glare and slaps his hand away. “But I won’t have it any other way. Wait, no. It sure as hell would be simpler if you didn’t try to kill me anymore, but I guess I’ll deal with that, too.”
Jinx snorts, absently reaching for the spot he touched, her gaze softer than before. “Ha! You hit like a girl, by the way. I never got to tell you.”
“You tried to blow us up.”
“Eh,” she whines. “That was one time. You gotta let that go.”
Ekko exhales a small laugh and realises he hasn’t smiled or laughed this much in years. Joy was leeched from him with her absence, and while he did his duties, there was no security of Jinx’s usual push and pull to keep him balanced and focused. Even when they were enemies, hunted each other down and attacked each other, they existed on opposite sides of a perfectly balanced sphere. 
Her nearness, the relief of having her there, overshadows the darker recollection of that afternoon when she tried to blow them up more than once. Memories so painful Ekko wishes to scrub them from his mind forever, yet they remain seared into his psyche. 
She grabs his elbow, dragging him forward, breaking the surrounding gloom. “Come on then,. Things to do, things to see.”
And Ekko does what he’s done since they were young. He follows her. Because they might not have tomorrow.
.
The day goes by too fast. Almost a blur. A series of snapshots Ekko will lock away in his mind forever. He never expected he’d get to do this again. This is something his younger self could have only dreamt about once. When they dreamt of simpler things; flashy toys and delicious sweets, things only a young boy could fantasise about, aside from a loving home, because at least that much he had. 
They walked and talked and joked around, eating street vendor food all day. Ekko knows they’re pushing their luck, but he can’t help himself. Jinx grew up here. This is her home too, and he wants to show her the progress they’ve made. There’s something comfortable about her snarky commentary and ill-timed jibes at the Council members. She asks about Vi only once, in relation to Cait, and Ekko tells her the truth. 
They’re happy. They’re together. She nods, satisfied, and moves on.
“We should go see Jericho next.” It’s an offhand suggestion while they walk the newly paved river path. Now people from the Undercity can enjoy the same luxury of having a peaceful sidewalk to take their kids down. It’s amazing how it’s the small things that bring people happiness. 
“Can’t,” Jinx replies, glancing towards the setting sun. Her smile twists; it’s still a smile, but it’s sad, in a way. “Sorry, hero.”
He takes several seconds to speak. “So, you’re leaving anyway.”
“Yes. I told you I can’t stay.”
“It’s a pity, then.”
She tilts her head. “Why?”
Damn her for even asking. Damn her and all the shitty circumstances for keeping them apart. Damn her for picking him during that game of hide and seek years ago. Damn her for being there for him and not being there at the same time. Damn her for being his entire world for years. Even when Ekko thought he hated her, he wasn’t free of her. He never could be. His girl with blue hair. 
He’s in love with her, in every possible way, but they both know they can’t work like this. There’s too many ghosts for Jinx here, and despite the changes, Ekko can’t promise her she won’t get dragged off to Stillwater the moment authorities find out she’s alive after all. 
Ekko frowns, clenches his fists, and walks away. 
But she’s like an anchor to him. He stops several paces away, tied to her. “You’re gonna break my heart.”
They’ve been everything from friends to enemies and strangers to reluctant allies again. So much of his life has revolved around her. Continues to revolve around her. Past and present. But if Jinx sends him away now, if she walks away, Ekko will let her go. Because he can finally rest easy, knowing she is alive and well, even if they’re apart.
“In any other universe, I might have loved you,” she breathes. 
He pivots towards her, his nostrils flaring. “Love me in this one,” he insists, reaching for her. Ekko cups her cheeks, tilting her head until her hood slips back down, exposing her blue hair to the setting sun. He’s glad there’s no one in sight because he can’t think straight right now. “Choose me now. Ask me to go away with you. Ask me.”
He presses his forehead to hers. Jinx’s empty gaze appears glazed over, her thoughts far away no matter how hard he tries to grip her and hold her close. 
“I don’t deserve you, boy saviour,” she whispers emptily. “You’re good.”
“No one decides for me, Jinx. Not even you.”
She blinks owlishly, searching his wild stare, a pained expression on her face, her fingers knotting against her chest. “What if you don’t want me after a while? I’m… different and if I get bad again... What if—”
“Ask me, damnit.”
Jinx loosens a shaky breath, jumping through a hundred micro-expressions in a few seconds. A painful mix between hope and dread. 
“C…” Her eyes squeeze shut. “Come with me.”
Ekko sags in relief. “Yes.” He holds her, wraps his arms around her despite the unsure way she folds against him. As if she’s unsure where to put her hands. If she should. “Yes, I’ll come with you. I don’t care if you’re different. I want you as you are, okay? No matter where we are.”
A tremulous breath wheezes past Jinx’s lips. But with that, she melts into him, burying her face against him. Her embrace grows desperate and tight, a tremble shuddering through her body. 
“Always a dance with you, huh?” he says after a moment.
She chuckles, the sound warming his collarbone. “And you still got two left feet, boy wonder.”
Constants and variables, young Ekko, Benzo told him once. Everything bad that can happen in this universe might come to pass, but so might everything good.
----
an: ahh I know this isn't really my usual offering but I really hope you guys enjoyed, it's been a while since i've cared enough about canon/canon ship to do this.
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harryssyndrome · 3 days ago
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Hoax | h.s
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summery: “don’t want no other shade blue but you. No other sadness in the world would do…”
based off this request. Thank you so much anon for this idea, this was so fun writing and I hope it’s something you were looking for. I tried to be as angsty as possible with a blend of cutesy sweet, hope it’s a perfect mix. Let me know in the comments? [thank you! mwah mwah mwah 💋]
Posted on: November 26th, 2024. I DO NOT GIVE PERMISSION TO COPY OR TRANSLATE MY WORK IN ANY PLATFORM. Like, comment & reblog are appreciated 💓Italics are past memories. Hope you lovelies enjoy this little big piece.
wc: 6.6k (oops🤭) || Masterlist 🤍
Tag-List: @fruity-harry @angeldavis777 @wheredidmyeyesgo @cherryloveshs | TAGLIST IS OPEN! || REQUESTS ARE OPEN!! 💌
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The morning had started just like any other, the sun streaming in through the kitchen window, casting a warm glow over everything, but YN barely noticed. She sat at the counter, her hands curled around a coffee mug, its warmth barely a match for the cold ache building inside her. The apartment felt empty, despite the soft hum of the city just outside the window. She could feel the weight of the silence pressing down on her, a silence that had grown more oppressive over the past few weeks.
Harry had been on tour for what seemed like forever now, and their communication had dwindled. What had once been late-night calls and stolen moments between sound checks had turned into rushed, distracted conversations, where he was either too busy or too tired to give her his full attention. YN had always known the demands of his career, had always been willing to share him with the world, but it was starting to feel like he was slipping further away from her.
She had tried to be understanding, tried to remind herself that this was just a phase—that he was only gone for a while, and they would find their way back to each other. But today felt different. Something in the air was charged with tension, a sense of dread that hung around her like a cloud. Harry had promised to call her during his break between rehearsals, and as the minutes ticked by, that sense of unease only grew. She hadn’t heard from him, not even a text to explain why.
When the phone finally rang, she grabbed it with an anxious breath, hoping for the reassurance she so desperately needed.
“Hey, babe,” Harry’s voice crackled through the phone, distant and strained. There was a tiredness in his voice that made her heart ache even more.
“Hi,” she replied softly, trying to keep her tone light, but the worry slipped out anyway. “I was starting to wonder if you forgot about me.”
Harry didn’t immediately answer, and YN could feel him shifting on the other end, perhaps looking for the right words, or maybe just gathering the energy to engage with her. “I didn’t forget,” he said after a beat, his voice uncharacteristically flat. “It’s just… things are hectic right now. You know how it is.”
YN frowned, her fingers tightening around her mug. She knew how it was. She knew that Harry’s tour schedule was demanding, that he barely had time to breathe, let alone talk to her. But it was different now. It had been different for weeks, and she couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong.
“I get it, Harry,” she said softly, trying to keep the frustration from her voice. “But it feels like we haven’t really talked in days. I feel like I’m losing you.”
The words hung in the air between them, thick with unspoken emotions. She didn’t want to say it. She didn’t want to accuse him of pulling away, but she couldn’t ignore what was happening anymore. She missed him. She missed the way they used to connect, how they’d stay up all night talking about their dreams and fears, how they’d laugh until their stomachs ached. Now, it felt like all they did was talk about logistics and time zones. She wanted more than that.
Harry let out a heavy sigh, and for a moment, she thought he was going to apologize, that he would offer the comfort she so desperately needed. But instead, his voice grew colder, his words sharper. “You miss me? Maybe you miss the version of me that you had before all of this. But I’m not the same person anymore, YNN. I’m just tired. Tired of feeling like I’m constantly being pulled in a million directions.”
Her heart sank at his words, the finality in them hitting her harder than she had expected. “What does that mean?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.
Harry’s words came out in a rush, almost like he couldn’t stop them, as if they were coming from a place deeper than he intended. “It means that I don’t have the energy for this right now. I don’t have the energy to keep pretending that everything is fine when it’s not. And maybe I’m just tired of pretending that you’re not asking for more than I can give. Maybe I need space. Maybe we both need space.”
The words stabbed her. She felt them deep in her chest, each one like a dagger, twisting further with every breath. “Space?” she echoed, barely able to form the word, the hurt creeping into her voice despite her best efforts to hold it back. “I’m not asking for space, Harry. I’m just asking for you. For the person you promised me you’d always be.”
Harry didn’t respond right away, and when he did, his voice was tight, defensive. “Maybe that person isn’t here anymore, YNN. Maybe that’s what I’m trying to say.”
The silence that followed was suffocating. YN could hear the faint rustling of something on his end of the phone, the noise of people moving in the background, but it didn’t matter. The emptiness between them felt so loud, so unbearable. The connection that once held them together was fraying, thread by thread.
She swallowed hard, the tears welling in her eyes. “Fine,” she said, her voice breaking as she spoke. “If that’s how you feel, then I guess I’ll leave.”
The words came out before she could stop them, and she immediately regretted them. But the damage was done. The silence that followed was deafening, and the weight of Harry’s absence felt so heavy, so crushing, that she could barely breathe. The person she loved, the person she had given everything to, had just told her he was done. He was tired of her.
Before she could say another word, she ended the call. The click of the phone disconnecting felt like the final nail in the coffin, sealing whatever it was that they had left.
YN sat there for a long moment, staring at the phone in her hand as if it were some foreign object. She couldn’t move, couldn’t speak. Her mind was numb, her thoughts tangled in confusion and hurt. The apartment, their shared space, felt so small now. It felt suffocating. Every corner of the place was a reminder of everything that had once been good, everything that was now falling apart.
Tears blurred her vision as she stood up from the counter. She didn’t know what to do. She didn’t know where to go. But she couldn’t stay there. Not with him, not with the words he had just said. The love they had built felt like ashes, and she couldn’t breathe in the smoke any longer.
She started packing her things, her movements automatic, like she was on autopilot. Her hands shook as she threw clothes into a bag, not caring if they matched or if they were folded neatly. Nothing mattered in that moment except the urgent need to get away from the place that had once been home. She ignored the phone buzzing with messages, messages from Harry, apologizing, pleading with her to call him back. She couldn’t. Not yet. Not after the things he had said.
When she finished packing, she grabbed her bags and walked out the door. The apartment felt even emptier as she closed the door behind her. There were no more goodbyes, no more promises. Just the echo of his hurtful words ringing in her ears.
YN drove to her parents’ house in a daze, her eyes stinging with unshed tears. She couldn’t stop thinking about everything that had happened, about how quickly their love had unraveled. She needed space to think. To breathe. To figure out how to move on from this. But deep down, she knew it wasn’t that simple.
It wasn’t just a fight. It was something deeper. Something that couldn’t be fixed with apologies.
When she pulled into the driveway, she didn’t feel the relief she thought she would. Instead, the silence that had followed her from their apartment seemed to follow her here. Even the familiar sight of her childhood home didn’t offer the comfort it once had. It all felt distant. Empty. Just like her heart.
She stepped out of the car, closing the door behind her with a soft click. As she walked up to the front door, her phone buzzed again. She ignored it. She couldn’t bear to look at it. She couldn’t bear to see his name flashing on the screen. The man she loved had just shattered her heart into a million pieces, and she didn’t know how to pick them up.
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The night had been a blur for Harry. The anger, the disappointment, the gnawing guilt in his chest from the argument with YN—it was all too much to bear. In the solitude of his hotel room, far from her, he drowned out the pain with alcohol. He knew he had messed up, knew he had hurt her with his words, but the overwhelming pressure of being on tour, the constant demand of being a public figure, and the exhaustion had driven him to the brink. He had never intended for it to escalate the way it did, but in his drunken haze, it all came crashing down.
Somewhere between the blurry shots and the endless stream of drinks, he found himself in a bar, surrounded by strangers, feeling more alone than he had in a long time. His phone was buzzing on the table, the screen lighting up with YN’s name flashing, but he didn’t pick it up. The coldness in his heart had become too unbearable, and he pushed her away instead of confronting the hurt he had caused. He just wanted the world to stop spinning for a moment. He wanted to forget everything that had gone wrong.
And that was when Emily Ratajkowski had walked in.
They had known each other for years, casually friendly in the way celebrities often are when their circles overlap. Emily, ever the charmer, had greeted Harry with a friendly smile. They sat and talked, their conversation casual at first, just the usual small talk about work and life. But Harry, caught in his haze of regret, had let his guard down. The more they talked, the more the words flowed. In some strange way, it felt easy to talk to her—like she was a stranger he could confide in, someone who didn’t carry the same weight of their past, the years of intimacy and history he shared with YN.
It didn’t take long before the alcohol took its toll. Emily’s laughter had filled the air, and Harry had found himself leaning closer, her presence soothing in a way that made him forget the ache in his chest. Before he knew it, they were kissing. His mind screamed for him to stop, to think about YN, to remember everything he stood to lose. But in that moment, he didn’t. The guilt had been smothered by the fleeting comfort of the kiss, the escape from his spiraling thoughts.
He didn’t remember much after that. The night blurred into incoherence, a jumble of laughter, flashes, and fleeting touches. Harry woke up the next morning, disoriented and groggy, the light filtering through the hotel room window far too bright. His phone was buzzing incessantly, and his stomach churned when he saw the series of missed calls and messages from YN. The weight of it all hit him like a wave, and for a moment, he just sat there, trying to piece together the fragments of his memories.
Then, his phone lit up with an alert—a notification from a gossip website, and his heart dropped into his stomach. There, in front of him, were pictures of him and Emily Ratajkowski, the kind of photos Harry had spent years avoiding. They were kissing, their lips pressed together, captured in a moment of reckless abandon that Harry didn’t even fully remember. The headline was cruel: Harry Styles and Emily Ratajkowski—A New Romance in the Making?
His throat tightened as he scrolled through the photos, his mind racing. He didn’t remember kissing her. He didn’t remember anything about that night except the overwhelming sense of regret that now gripped him. He had ruined everything. The fragile thread holding him together seemed to snap in that moment. He had lost YN, and now the media would make sure the world knew it. His personal life was on full display, and all he could think about was how much he had fucked it all up.
Desperation began to rise in his chest, and without thinking, he began sending text after text to YN, each one filled with apologies, regret, and pleas for her to talk to him. But she didn’t answer. The silence on the other end was deafening.
Meanwhile, YN was in her parents’ house, sitting in the living room with the muted glow of the television casting long shadows across the room. The house, once a place of comfort and warmth, now felt suffocating. Her mother had been quiet ever since YN arrived, sensing the heavy tension in the air. She tried to comfort her daughter, offering tea, but YN couldn’t bring herself to care. The weight of the argument, of the harsh words Harry had said, sat heavily in her chest, gnawing at her.
But when the photos surfaced—when she saw Harry with Emily, their lips locked, the headlines flashing across her phone—her world shattered all over again. The room spun around her, and she felt like she was suffocating. The love she had poured into her relationship with Harry now felt like a cruel joke. She had trusted him. She had believed in him. And now this—this betrayal was too much to bear.
Tears blurred her vision, and she quickly turned away from her phone. Her mother noticed the change in her expression and asked softly, “YN, what’s wrong, sweetheart?”
“I can’t do this,” YN whispered, choking on her tears. “I can’t keep doing this. I thought he loved me… but now… now I don’t know who he is anymore. It didn’t even take him a night to move on?”
Her mother hugged her tightly, murmuring comforting words, but YN couldn’t hear them. The pain of what she had seen—the public humiliation of it all—felt like a physical weight on her chest. She needed to get away. She needed to clear her head.
“I’m going for a walk,” she said, her voice distant, as if she were speaking to herself rather than her mother.
Her mother nodded, understanding the need for space, and watched as YN stepped outside, the cool evening air wrapping around her like a blanket.
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The lake stretched out before her, calm and unbothered by the storm raging inside her. Its surface shimmered faintly under the overcast sky, the golden light of the fading afternoon barely breaking through the thick clouds. The familiar sight of it— the way the trees reflected on the water, the distant sound of birds, the rhythmic lapping of waves against the shore-should have brought YN the comfort she was seeking. But all it did was make her chest tighten with a suffocating ache.
She had always come to this place for solace, even as a child. The lake by her parents' house was her sanctuary, a space where the noise of the world couldn't touch her. But now, as she stood there, arms wrapped tightly around herself against the crisp autumn air, the silence was deafening. It wasn't peace she found here today. It was the echo of memories she had desperately tried to bury since she walked out of the home she had once shared with Harry.
Her boots crunched softly against the earth as she made her way closer to the water's edge, the damp grass soaking the hem of her dress. The wind whispered through the trees, carrying with it the faintest scent of pine and earth. But YN didn't notice. Her mind was far away, replaying a reel of memories she wished she could turn off. No matter how much she tried to focus on the present, her past with Harry came rushing back to her, vivid and bittersweet.
She crouched down near the shore, her fingertips brushing against the cool surface of the water. As ripples spread outward, her thoughts drifted to another time, another version of herself-a happier one. She closed her eyes, and it all came rushing back as if she were still there.
It had been a summer evening, the sun setting in brilliant hues of orange and pink.
Harry had been sitting on the dock, legs stretched out, his feet just barely skimming the water. YN had been lying beside him, her head resting on his thigh as they shared a bottle of wine they had stolen from her parents' pantry. The lake had been their escape that summer, a place where the chaos of Harry's career and the pressures of the world seemed to melt away.
"This place is magic," Harry had murmured, running his fingers absentmindedly through her hair. His voice had been low, almost reverent, as he looked out at the water.
YN had tilted her head to glance up at him, a smile tugging at her lips. "You always say that," she teased. "But you're not wrong."
He grinned, his dimple deepening as he looked down at her. "It's true, though. Don't you feel it? It's like... time stops here. Like nothing bad can touch us."
She had laughed softly, the sound blending with the gentle rustle of the trees.
"That's what l've always loved about this place. It's quiet. Peaceful. Away from everything."
Harry had hummed in agreement, his gaze softening as he studied her. "One day, YNN... one day l'd love to settle down somewhere like this. Away from the noise. Just us."
Her breath had caught at his words, her heart skipping a beat. "Just us?" she'd asked, her voice barely above a whisper.
"Well," he'd added, his lips twitching into a playful smile, "maybe not just us. I'm thinking a couple of little ones running around, maybe a dog... or two."
YN's heart skipped at his words, her stomach flipping in that way it always did when he hinted at their future. She laughed, nudging him playfully. "Little ones, huh? You planning on starting a family with me already, Styles?"
Harry grinned, his dimple showing as he leaned closer, the teasing glint in his eyes softening into something deeper. "Why not? I mean it, YNN. I'd love that. A house by the lake. Waking up every morning with you by my side. Teaching our kids how to fish or swim or whatever it is people do out here. It sounds perfect."
Her breath caught as she looked at him, the sincerity in his words tugging at something deep within her. "It does," she whispered, her voice barely audible. "It sounds perfect."
He reached out, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, his fingers lingering against her cheek. "You're perfect," he murmured, and before she could respond, he leaned in, pressing a soft, lingering kiss to her lips.
The world had faded away then, leaving only the two of them, wrapped in a bubble of love and possibility.
“I wouldn’t want anything less than forever when it comes to you.”
His words had settled into her heart like a warm glow, and she had leaned in to kiss him, the taste of wine still lingering on his lips. In that moment, with the sun setting and the world quiet around them, she had believed him. She had believed in forever.
YN blinked, the memory dissolving as the present came crashing back. The lake was still, the air cold, and Harry wasn't there. Her chest ached as she stared at the dock, the image of them sitting there overlaying the reality of its emptiness. She could almost hear his laughter, feel his hand in hers, but it was all in her mind.
The betrayal burned anew, the image of him with Emily flashing behind her eyes.
How could he have said those things, painted that picture of their future, and then so carelessly let it all fall apart? How could he kiss someone else after everything they had shared?
How had they gone from that to this? How had the man who once promised her forever ended up kissing someone else? The image of Harry and Emily flashed in her mind again, sharper this time, and her stomach twisted. She wrapped her arms tighter around herself, trying to hold together the pieces of her heart that felt like they were falling apart.
The lake, once her sanctuary, now felt like a cruel reminder of everything she had lost. The life she had envisioned with Harry-the house by the lake, the little ones running around, the forever they had dreamed of-felt like a distant, unattainable dream. And yet, no matter how much she wanted to hate him, to shut him out completely, her heart wouldn't let her. She still loved him, even now, even after everything.
YN sank down onto the grass, her knees pulled to her chest, tears streaming freely now. She thought of the countless nights they had spent talking about their dreams, their plans. The way Harry had once made her feel so safe, so sure of their love. And now, it all felt like a cruel joke, a dream turned nightmare.
"Why, Harry?" she whispered into the stillness. "Why did you have to ruin everything?"
The question hung in the air, unanswered, as the sun dipped lower on the horizon.
She let herself cry then, the sobs wracking her body as she finally allowed herself to feel the full weight of her heartbreak. The lake bore silent witness to her pain, its surface rippling gently as if trying to offer her some semblance of comfort.
The lake, once her sanctuary, now felt like a graveyard for their love.
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When she returned to the house, her heart felt heavy, each step laden with the weight of everything she was feeling. But it wasn't the emptiness of the house that grabbed her attention; it was the faint sound-the small, deliberate taps against the window. At first, she thought it was the rain playing tricks on her, the gentle taps against the glass. But when she heard it again-sharp and insistent-her breath caught in her throat.
Her mind didn't even have time to process it fully. She spun toward the window, her heart pounding in her chest. And there he was.
Harry.
He stood in the pouring rain, his face pale, his hair clinging to his skin. His clothes were soaked through, and his hands trembled slightly as he threw small pebbles at the window, as if trying to wake her from a nightmare she couldn't escape. She stood frozen for a moment, unsure of what to do. Was this real? Was this the same man who had hurt her so badly?
But then, she saw it in his eyes-the desperation. The raw vulnerability. The silent plea for forgiveness that spoke louder than words ever could. He was standing there, drenched, with nothing left to lose. He was a broken man, and in that moment, she could see that he knew he had ruined everything.
Before she could stop herself, she ran to the down to the front door, threw it open, and without thinking, rushed outside into the rain.
The rain fell in torrents, its relentless downpour drowning out all sound except for the beat of water against the ground. Harry stood before YN, drenched, his eyes wide with desperate urgency, a look of raw pain etched into every line of his face. His clothes clung to his body, soaked through, but it was nothing compared to the turmoil inside of him.
“YN…” His voice broke, as if the weight of her name was too much to bear. His hand reached out shakily, desperate to bridge the gap between them, but she pulled away slightly. He flinched, not from her rejection, but from the weight of his own guilt that seemed to pull him lower with every passing second.
“I—” He took a breath, trying to steady himself, but his words tumbled out in a frantic rush. “I never meant for it to be this way. I never meant to hurt you, YNN. I swear, I never thought—God, I was so drunk, so damn stupid. I don’t even remember what happened, but I know I messed up. I know I messed everything up.”
YN’s heart clenched painfully in her chest. She wanted to scream at him, to tell him how much he had hurt her, how much his words still stung like a constant ache in her soul. But instead, she stood there, her breath coming in ragged bursts, staring at him as he trembled in the rain. She wasn’t sure whether it was the cold of the storm or the pain inside him that made him shudder, but it was impossible to ignore the depth of his regret.
“You do remember, Harry,” she finally spoke, her voice shaking but strong. “You remember everything, even if you don’t remember that moment. You remember the things you said to me. You remember how you treated me. How you—” She stopped herself, not wanting to continue with the painful words. But the memory of his cutting tone, his dismissive words, echoed in her mind, taunting her, making her question everything they had ever shared. “I trusted you. I loved you. And you—you broke me.”
Harry’s eyes welled with unshed tears as he took a step toward her, this time not caring if she pulled away. He was beyond caring about the rain, beyond caring about anything except for the woman standing before him, the one person who had always been his everything.
“I know,” he whispered, his voice thick with emotion, and she could see the raw vulnerability in his eyes. “I know I broke you. And that’s the worst part of it. I never wanted to hurt you. Not in a million years. I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you, YNN. You’re it for me, you always have been.” He reached for her again, but this time she didn’t pull away. His fingers brushed against hers, a tentative touch, as if he were afraid she might vanish the moment he let go.
“But I let my stupid insecurities, my stupid mistakes, cloud everything,” he continued, his voice cracking. “I’ve never been more scared of losing someone than I am of losing you, and I couldn’t see that until now. I couldn’t see that you are the one I need. That it’s not the fame, it’s not the tour, it’s not anyone or anything else—it’s you, YN. You’re the only thing that matters.”
The words hung in the air like fragile threads, each one trembling with a rawness that made Ashley’s heart ache in ways she didn’t think possible. The anger, the hurt—it was still there, simmering beneath the surface, but now there was something else too: hope. Hope that maybe, just maybe, this wasn’t all lost.
She swallowed hard, her throat dry. She wanted to push him away, wanted to shout at him for what he had done, but when she looked at him—really looked at him—there was something so devastatingly human about him, standing there, shaking in the rain. He was broken, but there was sincerity in his apology, a plea that reached her heart in ways his words never had before.
“You don’t even understand what you’ve done to me, Harry,” she said, her voice quivering as she took a step back. “You think it’s just about what happened with her, with Emily? It’s not. It’s about everything that led up to that moment. It’s about the words you said to me, the way you dismissed everything we had, everything I gave you. It’s about how you made me feel like I wasn’t enough.”
Harry closed his eyes, a silent tear slipping down his cheek. “I didn’t mean to make you feel that way, YNN. I never wanted you to feel like you weren’t enough. You’re everything to me. I’ve been an idiot, and I know I’ve hurt you, but please… don’t let this be the end for us. I can’t lose you. I just can’t… live without you. I can’t.”
The storm raged around them, but the silence between them felt deafening, thick with the weight of everything unsaid, everything unresolved. YN could feel the anger still bubbling inside her, but she also felt the pull of something deeper—the love she had for him, the love that she had thought was gone, but now seemed to flicker in her chest like a fragile flame.
She wanted to stay angry, to hold onto the hurt, but something inside her was giving way.
“Harry, I…” Her voice faltered, the words catching in her throat as her chest tightened painfully. “I don’t know if I can forgive you right now. I need time. I need space to figure this out.” She shook her head, unable to meet his eyes as the tears finally spilled over, mingling with the rain. “I don’t know if I can go back to who we were. You hurt me too much.”
He stepped forward again, his hand reaching for her, trembling with the force of his desperation. “Please, YN. I’ll do anything. I’ll give you all the space you need. I’ll be patient, I swear. I’ll wait as long as it takes. But don’t walk away from me. Please.”
She didn’t respond immediately. The storm had drowned out every thought, every hesitation in her mind, but there was still one thing she knew for certain: she couldn’t let him go. Not yet. She wasn’t ready. Not when her heart was still so tangled up in him, so unable to let go of the person he had once been to her.
“I need time,” she repeated softly, her voice barely audible against the pounding rain. “I need to think, Harry. Please, just… just go inside. I can’t—” She couldn’t finish the sentence, not without breaking apart completely.
Harry nodded, his face a picture of heartbreaking understanding. His heart was in pieces, but he was willing to wait, willing to do whatever it took to prove that he could make things right. Without another word, he turned toward the house, slowly, unwilling to leave her in the storm but knowing that he had to respect her need for space.
YN watched him go, her heart heavy in her chest, torn between love and hurt, between forgiveness and anger. The rain continued to pour, and as she stood there, feeling the cold seep into her bones, she wondered if they would ever find their way back to each other—or if this was the beginning of the end.
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The night had felt like an eternity. Each minute stretched on, filled with haunting thoughts and the pounding rhythm of YNs heart. Her mind was tangled in knots, the anger still burning bright, but beneath it all, there was an undercurrent of something she couldn’t deny: the love she still had for Harry. It was the kind of love that had once felt so pure, so easy, but now felt fractured, jagged, like trying to hold onto a shattered glass piece that was bleeding into her heart.
She hadn’t been able to sleep. The past few days, the pain, the betrayal, the anger—it all swirled together in a mess that made her restless. Harry’s words from the night before—the desperate, raw apology—replayed over and over again in her mind, like a broken record. And yet, each time she thought of it, the hurt crept back in. She had tried to push it away, tried to convince herself that she could ignore it, but the reality was that she couldn’t. Not when the memories of their love, of their happy moments, still clung to her like the scent of his cologne.
But it wasn’t just the hurt she was feeling. There was something else, something deeper, something that felt too real to ignore. She couldn’t escape the way her heart still responded to Harry, no matter how hard she tried.
As the morning light began to filter through the windows, YN could no longer stay in the silence of her room. She had to see him. She had to confront everything that had happened and, maybe—just maybe—find a way to heal. But even as the desire to see him grew stronger, there was still that gnawing uncertainty. Could she really trust him again? Could she really forgive him for what had happened?
The house was quiet as she made her way down the stairs, the soft creak of the wooden steps echoing in the otherwise still air. The soft hum of the morning felt foreign against the heaviness that weighed on her shoulders, but she ignored it, pushing forward. When she stepped outside, the cold hit her like a rush, but it was nothing compared to the chill in her heart.
The lake was quiet, still as glass, the air thick with the faint scent of damp earth and fresh water. And there, sitting on the grass at the edge of the lake, was Harry. His posture was slumped, his shoulders drooped, as though the weight of the world was resting on him. The sight of him in this state, so broken and vulnerable, pulled at her heart in ways she couldn’t explain.
He looked so small, so lost.
For a moment, YN stood there, watching him. She wasn’t sure what to do, what to say. But as she watched him, she realized that she couldn’t stay away. Not anymore. She had to speak. She had to let him know how much he had hurt her, but also how much she still cared, despite everything.
Her footsteps were quiet on the soft earth as she made her way toward him. Harry didn’t look up immediately, but she could see the slight twitch of his head as if he felt her presence. His face was blank, his eyes staring out at the water, but there was something in the way he held himself that spoke volumes.
YN stopped just a few feet away, standing still as the silence stretched between them. For what felt like an eternity, neither of them spoke. The tension was thick, palpable, like a heavy fog.
Finally, she couldn’t stand it anymore. The silence, the uncertainty. She had to break it.
“I don’t even know where to start, Harry,” she said, her voice trembling just slightly as she crossed her arms over her chest, trying to protect herself from the rawness of the moment. “You hurt me. You really hurt me. And I don’t know if I can ever forget what you said to me. What you did to us.”
Harry flinched, as if each word she spoke cut through him. He finally lifted his head, his red-rimmed eyes meeting hers. There was guilt in those eyes, raw and undeniable. His voice came out barely above a whisper.
“I’m sorry, YNN. I’m so sorry. I can’t even begin to explain how much I regret everything. I was angry, and I was drunk, and I didn’t—” He cut himself off, his hands shaking as he clenched them into fists at his sides. “I never meant to hurt you. Not like that. You’re everything to me, YNN. You always have been.”
YN took a deep breath, her chest tight with the conflicting emotions. She wanted to stay angry, to protect herself from the pain he’d caused, but she couldn’t deny that his words, his remorse, were hitting something deep inside her. It wasn’t enough to erase the hurt, but it was a start. She looked at him, really looked at him, and saw how broken he was. He was a man who had made a mistake, but he was also a man who still cared for her.
“I don’t want to feel like this anymore,” she whispered, her voice breaking. “I don’t want to live in the hurt and the anger. I want to move past this, but I need to know that you’ll never do this again. I need to know that you’re willing to fight for us.”
Harry’s eyes welled up, the emotion overwhelming him. He reached out then, taking her hand gently, almost like he was afraid she might pull away. “I swear to you, YNN. I’ll fight for us. I’ll fight for you. I’ll do whatever it takes to make this right. I’ll spend every single day proving to you that you’re worth more than anything, more than the stupid mistakes I’ve made. You mean everything to me.”
YN’s breath caught in her throat. It was impossible to ignore the depth of his words, the rawness in his voice. But it wasn’t just the words that got to her; it was the sincerity in his eyes, the vulnerability that he rarely showed anyone, let alone her.
She stepped closer to him, her heart pounding as she tried to make sense of the whirlwind of emotions swirling inside her. She had been so angry, so broken, but looking at him now, she realized that she couldn’t just walk away.
“I want to believe you, Harry,” she whispered, her voice shaking. “I really do. But I need time. I need time to heal, to trust you again.”
Harry’s face softened, relief flooding through him. “I understand. Take all the time you need. I’ll be here, every step of the way. I’ll prove to you that I’m worth it. That we’re worth it.”
And in that moment, everything felt a little bit clearer. The storm inside her had not fully subsided, but the clouds were beginning to part, and the sun was starting to peek through. She stepped closer, closing the distance between them, and in one slow, careful motion, she placed her hand on his chest. The steady beat of his heart under her palm was a reminder of how much he still cared.
“I’m willing to try,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. “I’m willing to try if you promise me that you’ll never let me go again.”
Harry’s eyes shone with tears, and he pulled her into his arms, his hands cupping her face gently as he kissed her forehead, his lips brushing softly over her skin. “I promise you, YNN. I’ll never let you go. You’re my everything. I love you.”
YN closed her eyes, letting his words wash over her. She hadn’t been sure if she could forgive him, if she could ever move past the hurt. But standing here in his arms, feeling his heart beat against hers, she realized that love wasn’t always easy. It wasn’t always simple. But it was worth fighting for.
“I love you too,” she whispered back, her voice trembling with emotion.
And as they stood there, wrapped in each other’s arms, the world around them felt a little less heavy, a little less uncertain. The future was still unclear, but for the first time in a long time, they both had hope.
They’ll be alright.
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mumblingsage · 2 days ago
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#🤔 i remember reading about trauma being a psychic wound#from witnessing or experiencing an event where someone's physical integrity was threatened#i know you can't start talking about ptsd until 6 months after the event if you're still seeing effects from it#i'm not so sure about the formal definition of traumatized#bc most people heal after even really bad trauma. ptsd is what you get around 1/3 times when your psyche like. doesn't#so i think traumatized might be for shorter term effect? but still like a specific term for you know like an actual medical condition#and indeed i'm no health professional or expert but i'm p fucking sure that can't happen from stuff happening to fictional people#and much less from reading words on a page#anyway thank you for this post op
I also find these distinctions and definitions super interesting! (I'd say "fun" but it's just not a fun topic.)
-My understanding is that you're right, post-traumatic stress syndrome can't be diagnosed until 6 months after the event. If you're having stress symptoms in the immediate aftermath - and this is quite common, much more common than longer-term PTSD - it's called acute stress disorder (there's also 'adjustment disorder' which might overlap?). And people actually going through the fight-flight-or-freeze survival response to trauma may not be aware of themselves as particularly upset or realize they're having symptoms; those often emerge after the immediate threat is past. I cannot stress enough that people with PTSD are not weak and have not failed; to survive trauma requires immense resilience whatever the outcome. But PTSD also isn't an inevitable outcome. (George Bonnano's book The End of Trauma is poorly titled - he doesn't promise to end trauma - but was a really informative read on resilience.) Also, the fact that 85% of the people who evacuated the Twin Towers on 9/11 did not develop PTSD makes me skeptical of how many people would develop PTSD from reading or watching a movie; if as a species we're that resilient when our lives are truly threatened and death is all around us, I expect we'll be pretty resilient in milder circumstances. [However, some forms of trauma have far higher likelihood of PTSD than others because of different factors: for instance, about half of sexual assault survivors experience PTSD, because our culture really sucks at supporting SA survivors. The same article says 94% of survivors experience PTSD symptoms in the first 2 weeks; I think this is what the 'acute stress disorder' diagnosis is intended to cover.]
-So then what do we actually mean when we say "traumatized"? Speaking for myself as OP, I'd mean either/or 1. Developed symptoms of PTSD or acute stress disorder, or 2. Went through an experience known to lead to symptoms of PTSD or acute stress disorder (on which I'll defer to section A of the DSM-5's diagnostic criteria for PTSD), even if such symptoms didn't develop or have since resolved. This definition may be somewhat circular. It is not perfect (the DSM is not an unimpeachable document; at the same time, informed and caring people are always at work to improve it). But I think it gets at a real distinction that will emerge if we compare the experiences of, for instance, people who actually had a friend die suddenly in childhood vs people who just read Bridge to Terebithia.
-In hindsight it might have been helpful to define what I think it means to be "traumatized" in my OP, but it isn't easy to get the entire contents of Judith Herman's Trauma and Recovery plus Bessel van der Kolk's The Body Keeps the Score plus the odd discussion in the therapist's office into a concise blog post. And maybe it was more productive to leave the term undefined so each reader has to examine their own definition/understanding of it. (I'm giving myself too much credit. Even so.)
I'm wondering if, as a society who cares about vulnerable people, we could stop saying "traumatize" when we truly mean "upset"?
I am sick of hearing sad books or movies "traumatize" their readers. I simply do not believe that happens. A traumatic experience might be adjacent to books (I have vivid memories of books I was reading around certain experiences and even how the contents of those books affected my processing of the experiences). But it's not caused by the book. And, y'know. The weather is Christofascist Censorship Attempts outside.
Meanwhile from the other side I continue to be surprised at just how badly people fail to understand trauma and traumatic experiences in general. Watering down the term isn't helping. Find other hyperbole to express that The Bridge to Terebithia gutted you, chewed on your heartstrings, and made you cry your first pair of contact lenses right out of your preteen eyes.
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chocoqtelle · 3 days ago
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inner child pac reading
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🦀 pile one,,
I know we're used to being super helpful, but it's good to help yourself too. you should always make sure you're okay first. It's important for us to be okay, even if other people don't think so. we should think so. things are gonna be okay for us. they always are. I want to do the things we like. I don't understand why you care about what people think now. I think we should try doing what we like more, even if it's embarrassing. it doesn't have to take a lot of time. it's just good to have fun sometimes. maybe you can get back into some of our old interests if you want?
it seems like this pile had to mature quickly and was overly generous in childhood. this likely led to some people pleaser habits. when the world said "be nice" and "care about others" you took it to heart, but it felt like you were the only one who did. you felt like you had to be the adult in your childhood and care for other people around you. for some of you, you may have had to care for a parental/older familiar figure or your siblings. you're used to changing your words and your personality to be more digestible and gentle because this strong fear of conflict. you were scared of people being mean to you, so you avoided making anyone mad. it was like you were always tiptoeing over eggshells. now, you don't have to, so there's no point in worrying about people who don't worry about you. you'd be doing yourself and your inner child a favor by doing what you want. it might feel wrong to be yourself, but at least try. I won't delve too much into this part, but I believe some people in this pile also dealt with being oversexualized or being hyper sexual at a young age. I think it's important to know you're more than what you can give others for this pile. please also take a break for the love of god.
🐸 pile two,,
It's hard to feel loved if nobody shows you. at the same time, i don't think I'd want to be loved. it seems weird and uncomfortable. I'm not used to it so it's scary. I still wish that someone would care at least. it feels like nobody else cares. I'm really tired of things being silent and boring all the time. I want to do something fun. I want friends but I want to be by myself. people think I'm weird, but I think they're the weird ones. they can avoid me but I wouldn't wanna be friends with them anyway. it doesn't matter if it's lonely, I don't feel less lonely around people anyway. some people think I'm mean. I don't think I'm mean. i heard I look mean or I act mean sometimes, but what if that's just who I am? I don't try to be mean to people. I just don't want people to hurt me.
holy neglect trauma... there's a lot to unpack here 😓 first off, I hope you're alright. it seems like this pile never really learned how to interact with people and is probably still a bit of a people hater. this pile has had to keep strong boundaries and walls on to protect themselves from unfamiliar experiences (being spoken to positively.) if you've never experienced something, it can be scary but you have to stop thinking every little thing is gonna go wrong in your life. it's fine. separate note but I think someone's ancestors are very present here, might want to connect with them if you don't already. you can try to shut down the feelings of loneliness and pretend connection won't help but it does. you're probably not connected with your inner child or you're ashamed of yourself for some reason. trying to be cold won't undo anything or save you from the feelings you're hiding. you'll have to acknowledge them at some point. escapism and forcing ignorance wont help forever. hopefully it'll be sooner than later, but that's your choice. it's okay to be soft, btw.
🐕 pile three,,
I know what I'm talking about. I'm serious. I wish people would take me more seriously. i get good grades, I study hard, I always prove how smart I am. for some reason, people still act like I'm too young and stupid to have opinions or that what I say is just silly, especially with emotions. they act like having emotions makes you a less rational person. some people look down on me for who I am, too. it's not something I can change. whether it's gender, age, or whatever, people always want an excuse to ignore how I feel or what I have to say. I know I'm right though. I don't want us to stop expressing ourselves. I wanna share how I feel to the world.
this pile is extremely opinionated and knows how to share their emotions. this pile is for the "bossy" kids who "should have been lawyers" or "a CEO" according to every adult around them. you were emotional as a child and it was always ignored or joked off as if your feelings were invalid. this pile is definitely natural-born leaders so if you aren't/never have been aspiration-driven or "extra" this pile probably isn't yours. the most healing thing you can do for yourself at this point is speak up. continue to speak about everything. share your opinion more, it's safe now and people will actually take you seriously. be emotional, be too much, be annoying, be talkative, be over-opinionated, be everything you feel like being and don't let anyone talk you out of it. lead your life how you want to. call everything out, even if it means being weird. I definitely feel like some people in this pile had the gifted kid experience or liked to read a lot when they were younger. there's also some unresolved anger that might need to be taken care of. I think speaking up more instead of bottling feelings up will definitely help that, though. you're not stupid or weak for being emotional. just be yourself unapologetically and that's the best thing you can do for your younger self.
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siriuslylantsov · 1 day ago
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mistletoe
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pairing: spencer reid x reader
description: in which you and spencer decorate your apartment for christmas.
tags: fluff, roommate!spencer, gn!reader, idiots in love, pinning, decorating!, spencer lifts reader up super quick, reader teases spencer bcs its fun, a little singing.
a/n: woahhh first christmas fic. MY BAD i listened to our love by curtis harding when i wrote majority of this so it just became what it did (not rlly sure what that is). you'd think a reader fond of christmas would only be playing christmas songs (esp when decorating), but she doesn't even?? idk guys. also i gave a hack making a header for this one, might continue making them. anyway lmk what you think, happy reading :))
wc: 1.7k
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“tacky, tacky, tacky...” you drone, fingers skimming over the themed trinkets and signs on the shelves. you’re christmas decor shopping with spencer. it's almost the end of november, which you personally think is too late (being a strict ‘christmas starts on november 1st’ believer), but you had no choice in the matter, wanting to wait for spencer's schedule to free up so you could go together. 
“oh cute!” you chirp, picking up a porcelain snoopy with a santa hat on. you show it to spencer, who trails behind you with a sparsely filled cart. “beside the-”
“tv,” he finishes for you, nodding in agreement. you place it in the cart and continue walking down the aisle.
“i hope you’re checking the price tags,” he muses from behind you, scanning over all the items. you shoot him a look paired with an unconvincing “yeah.”
“be serious,” he says, though a little amused.
“i am,” you step closer to him, meeting his somewhat challenging gaze. you try to hold your ground but something about the way his eyes crinkle at the corners as he squints at you makes you want to look away. “fine, i'll look over everything before check out. deal?”
he smiles, victorious. “deal.” he holds out his hand and you give it a firm shake before continuing your perusing.
you spend the next 2 hours like that, complaining about the abundance of generic things and squealing when you do find something nice. in the end, settling on an assortment of baubles, to add on to the ones you already had from last year, a new green blanket, a mulled-wine scented candle (that took you way too long to pick), the snoopy ornament, and 2 matching mugs which you had to sweet talk spencer into buying. you can never have too many mugs. 
˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗
you light the new candle and set it on the dining table, briefly glancing at the flame. the warmth on your face feels nice but you pull away quickly, knowing that if spencer catches you that close to the candle, he’ll chastise you about the fumes. 
he's digging through the closet for last year's decorations. the tree is already up–7ft something–tucked in the corner of the living room, bare and in dire need of some personality. he finds the box, and you pull out the fairy lights, starting to swirl the wire from the top down, spencer opposite you to help.
music faintly plays from your speaker, so you turn it up, landslide by fleetwood mac.
you circle around the tree with a handful of baubles, a collection of reds and whites, hanging them up where they felt right. spencer nudges you for approval on a few placements and you give him a reassuring smile. the two of you move in sync, on either end. he places a custom ornament of his team somewhere to the front of the tree. when you put up the last of the new ones, you take a step back and give it a good look. happy, spencer hands you the star. he hovers two tentative hands under your arms, over your rib cage, to lift you. there’s a stool near you that would’ve been perfectly fine, but you wiggle in his grasp anyway, telling him he can. despite his lanky frame, he picks you up with ease. you place the gold topper on firmly. when he puts you down you lean back into him, swaying. you hum quietly to the music. he presses his lips into your hair, lingering, before pulling away. you instantly miss his warmth, but you don't dwell on it, why should you?
the click of the kettle sounds from the kitchen, he's probably making tea. you think to tell him to use the new mugs, but he already knows. you're still swaying, head dipping up and down as you move across the room. you look through the box for more things to decorate with when your eyes land on a sprig of artificial leaves held together with a red bow.
“hey, when did we get mistletoe?” you call out, hoping your voice carries to the adjoining room.
“hmm?” he pokes his head through the door, looking at the item in your hand. “oh... penny got it for us last year, didn't put it up though.” he explains before returning to the tea, you put it in your pocket for later. you were well aware of what his teammates thought of you, or rather you and him. over the course of the 2 years you lived with spencer, you’d been taken to their family dinners and get-togethers as his plus one, never a girlfriend or a date, you. they ceased their relentless teasing for your benefit, but you knew spencer got the brunt of it when you weren't around. they mean well, they’re just annoying, he told you after you met them for the first time. 
you saunter over, ready to tease him. you can't help but want to, he's just so easy. plus, you think it's endearing when he's flustered. “you wanna put it up?” you ask with a smirk, leaning against the kitchen counter.
“what! oh- i don't know, no- uhm- well i don't mean no like it would be bad a bad thing- i just mean–” he stammers nervously, eyes wide and slightly panicked, before you cut him off with a laugh. 
“calm down, pretty. i'm just joshin’ ya.”
he lets out a sigh of relief, though it's laced in hidden disappointment. he wouldn't mind if you put it up, wouldn't mind at all. he hands you your mug, navy with little yellow speckles that resembled stars. with his own in hand, he leads you out of the kitchen.
you settle on the couch beside each other. your shoulder lightly bumps against his in steady beats because you're still swaying, as you blow at your drink. worried about you spilling he peels it from you and sets it down on the arm rest to cool on its own. your knee is bouncing now as the next song starts playing, our love. 
“there's a girl in town and words gone around she's just fine,” you sing quietly, head dropping onto his shoulder. “so i don't worry my head cause i know her heart is tied to mine.” you tip back onto the cushions, and you raise a dramatic hand to your chest, over your heart. “the life that we live and the love that i give to her. each day it grows more and more i'm sure, it shows. well,” you shift to face him, leaning closer. 
“our love, is a bubblin' fountain. our love, that flows into a sea. our love, deeper than any ocean. our love, for eternity.”
you quiet as the second verse starts playing, switching to mouthing the lyrics instead. you look at him with a reverie, head tilted in observation, that makes him nervous. “…he holds me down for sure.” in diligent self-sabotage, he combats this by starting to sing along with you, putting his mug down beside yours, effectively ending the moment as you spring in recognition.
your eyebrows furrow in amusement as you follow suit, planting your hands on his shoulders to move his in tow with yours. the angle is awkward, and he looks a little silly as he does it but it's fine. the chorus plays through and you tire, dipping your head back into his shoulder as he returns your mug to you, albeit still quietly mumbling the lyrics. 
you practically chug the tea, having reached an ideal temperature. spencer sits sipping slowly, a serial sipper. you curl into his side in the meantime, arm looped through his. after several minutes, he finishes and you take both mugs to the sink, rinsing them swiftly. 
you slowly but surely continue decorating. two stockings adorned with your initials hang from the key rack in the hallway. handmade paper snowflakes are stuck to the window, snowflakes that had you and spencer hunched over in concentration on the floor a few nights ago, tediously cutting away. you go back and forth on whether the tinsel would go well with the tree, realising all it missed was something sparkly, you wrap it around. spencer nails a simple wreath on the front door, there's a little purple bow on it. snoopy is placed in the midst of the trinkets that sat at your tv table–good choice, you think. you change out the pillowcases on the couch for ones with a red flannel pattern and throw the new blanket across the back. 
the space is perfect, standing in the middle of the room you take a deep breath. waxy candle scented greatness fills your senses, and somehow pine? from the wreath you assume. it's dimly lit, and the low light reflects off the sparkles on the tree gracefully. you wish you had a fireplace during times like this, you take a picture to preserve it anyway. 
you leave to change into your pyjamas, quickly so the cold doesn't linger on your skin. when you return to the living room you find spencer on the couch, a book perched in his lap. you come up to the back, mistletoe that you fished out of your pocket in hand. you crouch behind him, a little to his right, with the leaves dangling over his head. you graze it lightly on his hair and he looks up. his eyes widen slightly in realisation, but he doesn't try to move, he's intently still. with an amused huff, you lean in and kiss his cheek softly. he's still frozen in place, so as to prolong whatever's happening, a flush spreading across his face. you lean back and drop the sprig into the seat beside him. 
“goodnight spencer,” you whisper, suddenly timid. he touches his fingers to the area as you walk away. 
˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗
a few hours later, he walks into your room, quietly padding across the floor, to your side of the bed. he made the mistake of drinking a cup of coffee a few minutes after you left and now, he can't sleep, naturally. he bends and presses a kiss to your forehead, in some kind of implied reciprocation. you don't feel it, you don't even stir, but for now, that's alright with him.
he’ll put the mistletoe up, maybe in the doorway to the kitchen. and hope to god you both find yourselves under it at the same time.
m.list | comments and reblogs are appreciated :)
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misswynters · 3 days ago
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Tag you’re it!
— short drabble
featuring. ekko x reader
Ekkos super lucky to have a cool and awesome partner like you in his life. He gives you his jacket <3 and i absolutely need him fr fr.
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Zaun’s night was alive, a symphony of life and danger. Neon lights buzzed erratically, painting the streets in streaks of vibrant pinks and greens. The air was thick with humidity and the acrid stench of fumes rising from the ever-churning pipes of the undercity. You stood alone on one of the higher walkways, gazing down at the labyrinth of narrow streets below. It wasn’t safe to linger in one spot too long, especially not for someone with your reputation.
You adjusted the sleeves of the pink and black leather jacket you wore, Ekko’s jacket. It hung loose around your shoulders, the fabric worn and patched in places but still carrying the faintest scent of him. The shorts and cropped tank top you paired with it left your legs free to move. And an essential choice given your weapon of choice: rollerblades strapped snugly to your feet. It was fast, so fast that it left pink marks on its wake.
Below you, Zaun moved like clockwork. People shuffled between stalls, exchanging goods, whispers, and the occasional stolen glance over their shoulders. Somewhere in the distance, a fight broke out, the sound of shouts and the shattering of glass punctuating the night. You exhaled deeply, brushing a strand of hair from your face.
Your girls weren’t with you tonight. The Indigo club, a group you’d built from nothing, had made a name for itself in Zaun. You helped the downtrodden, fought back against the gangs and chem-barons in your own chaotic way, and had fun doing it. For tonight though, you’d sent them home. Sometimes, the quiet helped. But it wasn’t working. The memories pressed against the edges of your mind, unrelenting.
The Enforcers had come without warning. You were only seven, sitting at the dinner table with your parents and siblings, laughing over some silly story your brother had told. Then came the shouts, the crash of boots against the door, and the sharp, metallic ring of gunfire.
Your family’s blood had stained the floorboards, and you’d been left alive, frozen in shock, staring into the lifeless eyes of your mother. That was when Silco had found you, a trembling, hollow child, and taken you under his wing. He’d molded you into something sharp and unbreakable, but even he hadn’t been able to keep you tethered. You’d escaped his world, too, carving out your own existence in Zaun’s shadows.
A sharp sound brought you back to the present.
“Gotta say, you wear that jacket way better than I ever did.”
You turned, a smirk tugging at your lips. Ekko stood a few feet away, his Z-Drive glowing faintly at his side. He looked at you the way he always did, like you were a storm he was more than willing to stand in the path of.
“Yeah?” you teased, placing a hand on your hip. “Could’ve fooled me. It’s a little big.”
He grinned, his gaze sweeping over you. “It’s not the jacket, it’s you. You make anything look good.”
“Smooth,” you replied, rolling your eyes. But you felt the warmth creeping up your neck.
Ekko stepped closer, his expression softening. “You okay? You’ve been out here alone for a while.”
“I’m fine,” you said, your voice steady. “Just needed some air. It’s been quite a day.”
“More like a life,” he muttered, his tone bitter. He reached out, brushing his fingers against your arm.
You looked away, the weight of his words pressing down on you. “Atleast i’m not alone. I have my girls, and I have you.”
“And yet, here you are, by yourself,” he said pointedly.
“Maybe I wanted some company.” You shot him a sideways glance, a challenge in your eyes. “What are you doing here, anyway?”
“I heard someone was lurking on the rooftops in my jacket,” he replied, smirking. “Thought I’d check it out.”
“Well, now that you’re here,” you said, stepping back and adjusting your rollerblades, “how about a game?”
He raised an eyebrow, intrigued. “What kind of game?”
“Tag,” you said simply, your smirk widening. “You and me. I’ve got my wheels, and you’ve got your fancy time-travel thing. Let’s see who’s faster.”
Ekko crossed his arms, a playful light in his eyes. “You’re seriously challenging me? You know I can rewind time and i have a hoverboard, right?”
“Yeah, yeah,” you said, waving him off. “We’ll see how much that helps you when you’re eating my dust.”
He chuckled, shaking his head. “Alright, you’re on. But don’t cry when I win.”
“Keep dreaming, Z-man.”
The game was chaos, pure and simple. You darted through Zaun’s twisting streets, the wheels of your rollerblades clattering against the uneven ground. Ekko chased you with his hoverboard, his Z-Drive whirring faintly every time he rewound a moment to close the distance.
You weaved between stalls, leaping over crates and sliding under low-hanging pipes with practiced ease. Ekko wasn’t far behind, his agility and quick reflexes keeping him on your tail.
“You’re not bad for a guy who can rewind time!” you called over your shoulder, laughing breathlessly.
“Ha! You’re not bad for someone I’m about to catch!” he shot back, his voice filled with exhilaration.
Just as he was about to grab your arm, you executed a sharp turn, ducking into an alley and out of his reach. His frustrated groan echoed behind you, and you couldn’t help but grin. The chase continued until you reached an open courtyard, the neon lights reflecting off the slick pavement. You skidded to a stop, panting but grinning triumphantly.
“Give up yet?” you teased, leaning on your knees.
Ekko appeared seconds later, breathing just as hard but with a smug look on his face. “You wish.”
Before you could respond, he lunged, wrapping an arm around your waist and spinning you around. You laughed, the sound echoing through the courtyard, as he set you down and held you close.
“I fucking adore you” he said, his forehead resting against yours.
“I know you do,” you replied, your breath mingling with his. For a moment, the world seemed to slow. His eyes searched yours, and you felt the weight of his gaze, the unspoken connection between you.
“You’re it,” he whispered, tagging your side lightly.
“Cheater,” you murmured, but there was no heat in your words.
“That’s me,” he said with a grin, his hand slipping down to intertwine with yours. He knew he can never be on your bad side, i mean with the way he always looked at you. With those cute puppy brown eyes. Absolutely cute. Absolutely handsome indeed he was. You were lucky to have him in your life, treating you with the outmost respect and kindness you didn’t think you deserved.
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taglist. @diffusebread @xxblairslairxx @thesevi0lentdelights
banner. @anitalenia
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revvethasmythh · 2 days ago
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So I went and watched all the possible endings, and it confirmed something I had been thinking, which is that the redemption ending choice is, perhaps, the most immediately regretful one--but that they all come with some form of regret. In the redemption ending, Rook has to knowingly deny themselves the catharsis of retribution (should they desire it, which, at least for me it felt difficult not to) in order to offer Solas one last, painful chance to do the right thing. That willful denial of your own catharsis feels like an immediate regret. Giving Solas the opportunity to pursue atonement might very well be the best choice all around, but it is also incredibly painful to offer that to someone who has done so many terrible things (not a small amount to you personally). Why does he deserve another chance? Especially when so many dead (including a beloved mentor) lie in his wake? Which, I suppose, is the point: he doesn't. But you offer it anyway and it SUCKS ASS, because how could it not?
I don't know how this plays with other story choices (a sacrificed Davrin or a Harding who embraced her anger, for example), but within the context of my own choices, I can imagine an immediate satisfaction to either tricking or fighting him--especially the trick ending, where you can actively name drop Varric--but it feels like the sort of thing that would feel worse as more time passes. Once you've calmed down and are able to ask yourself if that's what the people you've lost really wanted. Varric, in Regret Superhell, didn't want vengeance. He just wanted his friend to walk a better path. And Harding always believed there was another chance for anyone, so long as you kept reaching a hand out for them--even when it sucked ass. So the redemption ending feels like a sort of indignance, an instant regret for not doing worse, for not getting comeuppance, for being forced to eschew satisfaction (related: I wonder if the Inquisitor feels those things as well coming out of this ending, considering how long they've lived under the shadow of Solas' actions). Conversely, the other two endings feel like an immediate satisfaction, because you got to trick the trickster with all the wits Varric taught you, or because you finally got to punch him in the face and it felt really good. But I feel like those endings would come with a creeping regret, something that sneaks up on you later, especially when remembering the fallen and what they would have wanted you to do. Ultimately, because of that, it feels like no ending is devoid of regret. Which I suppose, is rather thematic.
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47lake · 2 days ago
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pretty on camera
you looked over at the alarm clock on your side table. it read 12:38 am, you were up late studying for a surprise exam you have tomorrow that you just found out about today, super fun. you couldn't focus, you kept thinking about her, you knew you shouldn't. billie was your closest friend, besides she doesn't think of you that way, why would she? you were mulling over the idea of giving up and calling it a night when your phone screen lit up the room.
bil
wyd
sent 12:43 am
could she hear your thoughts? you sat there for a moment thinking of a response.
not much, just studying
fuck me i hate this class
sent 12:44
you watched those three little dots pop up and go away for what felt like an eternity. did she fall asleep? why won't she just send her message?
bil
well damn i've been trying 😒
sent 12:49
your stomach flipped. she's just kidding. she has to be kidding, right?
don’t play with me
sent 12:50
bil
why not? you'd like it anyways 🥱
sent 12:51
you quickly locked your phone and shoved your face in your pillow. did she really just say that? is she really doing this? is she drunk? what is going on???
you picked your phone up and watched it ring, your heart was already beating from the texts but now you’re expected to be able to actually talk to her?! you slowly pressed accept and held it up to your ear.
“hi.” you could hear her smiling, her voice always changes when she smiles, “hey,” you say a bit too excitedly. your face and ears heat up, how could she get this much of a reaction out of you so easily? “so what are you up to?” you practically blurted out, maybe if you filled the air your mind wouldn’t run with all the ways ways she could tou- “not much,” her voice cutting your thoughts off, “i was just thinking.” she could tell you were nervous, and you hated it. “thinking about what?” you heard her chuckle, she could be so cocky “oh you know, this and that.” you stared at your wall, “you’re the one that called me, you remember that right?”
she went quiet for a second, you were shocked. usually when you make a crack at her she’ll tell you to shut up or make one back, what was up with her? “sorry, you just make me nervous sometimes.” you could tell she was embarrassed, you were surprised. she never acts like this, usually it’s all “i’m so cool and tough blah blah blah” it worked for her though, she could pull off anything she wanted to, even your- you zoned back in remembering she’s on the other end of the phone.
“only sometimes?” you asked, trying to seem unbothered, and failing unfortunately. “actually i meant to say you make me nervous all the time pretty girl” your entire face heated up after she said that, you covered your mouth in disbelief she was actually talking to you like this. “you there?” she asked, she knew you were there, hell she was practically giggling at the way you were reacting to what she was saying. “yeah i’m here,” putting your head in your hand when you realized you just stuttered when you answered her. she’s gonna have a field day with this. “something wrong?” you heard her smile, god why is she so fucking cocky. “no nope! i’m totally fine don’t worry,” too much. she definitely knew now. fuck.
“can i tell you something?” why was she asking you, you both knew she was gonna tell you anyways “i think about how pretty you would sound all the fucking time.” you heard a gasp fall out of your mouth. you couldn’t think, “billie..” did you really just say that?? god you really hated how easily she got to you. “you like that?” how is she so fucking hot so easily, she isn’t even trying. “yeah,” it’s like your mouth had a mind of its own. you could feel yourself soaking through your panties, if she could see you like this you knew she would love it.
you pulled your phone away from your ear as it lit up with a facetime request. your mind raced, picturing what was about to happen. you pressed accept.
quickly you saw her face pop up on your screen, you smiled without realizing. "someone's happy to see me." you rolled your eyes knowing she was right, "shut up." you propped your phone up, putting most of your body in view as you sat up in your bed. you watched her scan you over, there wasn't much to see. you were in a off the shoulder sweatshirt with some pj shorts, nothing exciting. however she seemed to be utterly captivated.
"fuck," she said quietly, taking you in. you still weren't sure how your current appearance was this exciting. "take your shirt off." you sat there in shock, "what?" making sure you heard her correctly. "i said take your shirt off pretty girl, come on you can listen can't you?" your face went hot but you did as she said, you could feel her gaze against your skin as you tossed the shirt to the side, revealing your bare chest. "god you're so perfect, you have no idea how long i've wanted this." you felt the heat between your thighs start to pool in your shorts. she hadn't even done anything yet, how were you getting this worked up??
"did you hear me?" she asked, fuck were you really that zoned out?? "I'm sorry what'd you say?" she laughed and you hid your face in your hands, making it obvious how nervous she made you. "i asked how bad you want me." you gasped and felt your whole body heat up, "can i show you?" you asked quietly, she nodded and watched as you pulled your shorts and panties off, leaving you fully exposed.
you slowly trailed your fingers down and started circling your clit. "i think about you fucking me all the time billie, please." her gaze low as her eyes darted around your body, trying to take everything in. "you are so fucking good, you look so beautiful." you giggled now that she was the flustered one. "go faster," wow, she regained her composure quick. you did as you were told and started to moan out, imagining your fingers were her's. "look at you, so desperate for me, you've wanted this for a long time haven't you?" her words sending shivers across your skin, you loved how she was talking to you. "you look so pretty on camera." you moaned her name and she started to breathe heavier as she watched you dip your fingers into your center, easily sliding in. "look at how wet you are, all this is just for me?" your back arched and your free hand gripped the sheets beneath you. "yes billie, it's just for you." you started to pick up momentum and she watched in aw as you fucked yourself for her to watch. you felt a knot forming in your stomach, biting your lip as you body began to shake. "what do you want?" you whimpered, she knew what you wanted but you were too shy. "i want you to say it sweet girl." you whined as you tried to hold it together, "please let me cum for you billie, please." you watched her cocky grin come back, "i love the way you beg, go ahead pretty girl. make a mess just for me." you finally released against your fingers, laying back as you tried to catch your breath. "that's my girl."
i’ve tried to post this like 20 times istg
thank you for the request! hope you enjoyyy, send any reqs to inbox!🖤
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weirdmarioenemies · 2 days ago
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Name: Grass
Debut: Super Mario Bros. 2
Hey guys! Did you know that Super Mario Bros. 2 was originally a reskin of a game called Puck-Man, but they changed the name so people wouldn't vandalize the cabinets and make it say Q*bert? Anyway here's Grass
I hope you like Grass. I hope there are some ruminants among our readers who get so hyped upon seeing a depiction of grass. But I don't care about the grass itself. I care about what's underneath... Funny Vegetables! The kind to throw at a Shy Guy or a Tweeter! Let's look at each Vegetable's NES and SNES design, and discuss them!
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Turnip is the most iconic of the These Vegetables. Not the most iconic vegetable, but the most iconic Mario Vegetable. It's the main one that gets referenced, reappears as of Captain Toad: Treasure Tracker, and is even part of Peach's Smash moveset! Where they make even more variants that I don't feel like getting into here for the sake of post length. I quite like Turnip's classic brow(s), though they would be removed, along with the mouth, in future iterations. Such is brand identity.
In Minion Quest and Bowser Jr.'s Journey, Shy Guys' main method of attack is throwing turnips! I like that a lot. It references their debut and is just a very whimsical thing!
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I would expect to pull up a turnip from the ground, but lookie here! A couple of Fruits. It's unclear if these are pumpkins or bell peppers, and they come in red and green, which are both options for both fruits! Neither of the options, however, grow underground, so maybe they were playing hide-and-seek. It would explain their surprised expressions! They thought that was such a good hiding place, and it was! Also, I am not averse to calling these fruits vegetables. "Vegetable" is just a culinary term, referring to a part of a plant that we eat! Every fruit is a vegetable. Blueberry pie is a Vegetable Dessert. Words are fun!
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Beet is the happiest vegetable we've seen so far! But oddly thin. I hope it's not malnourished! If it is, it's still optimistic, and that's commendable. Maybe it's happy because it was voted Most Likely To Be Pickled in the vegetable high school year book! (Cucumber was homeschooled)
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Beet was so thin, and now Parsnip is so wide! It feels like their colors should have been swapped, maybe. But a Parsnip Muncher would delight in having so much more to munch here! A parsnip you could eat like an apple! I am not sure what Parsnip is thinking, with its very neutral expression. If I had a nickel for every time I couldn't tell what a parsnip was thinking, I'd be rich!
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Tomato is my favorite! It's SO happy! The biggest smile around! So happy to be a tomato! Maybe it's thinking about how everyone loves tomatoes and how versatile they are! Maybe it's happy because THIS fruit is never buried underground- this and the following vegetable only appear from the Dream Machine during the final boss battle against Wart. I guess Wart doesn't like tomatoes. So not everyone does... but phooey to him, because he's a Bad Guy! We goody two shoeses love Tomato!
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Finally, last but not least, is a quite interesting vegetable! This one is a bit mysterious, a bit ambiguous. Ambiguous whether it's an onion or a garlic. Ambiguous whether it's wearing thick glasses, or it has wide, pupilless eyes. I'm going to claim this vegetable as non-binary, and also establish "onion/garlic" as a binary. And then all humans will become non-binary...! What I can be sure of is that this allium looks like a nerd. "According to my calculations, my presence serves to enhance the flavor of any culinary delight!" Ok, dork! I love you.
So these have been Vegetables! I hope you liked them! And I also hope you like them in real life, That's Health! This post was funded and approved by the FDA. Can I say that? What are they going to do about it? Sue me? Kill me? Hopefully neither!
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dans-lily · 1 day ago
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HELLO PHANDOM
reading was absolutely insane. my throat still hurts from all the screaming. my sister and i managed to give out all of the bracelets we made, and get in touch with an old friend :)
BUT (and I can't believe this actually fucking happened, i still haven't processed it) I did do smth a little unhinged (for me, anyway.) I waited, with about 40 other people, outside their tour bus and it was SO fucking worth it. as you might know, i wore the sister daniel fit to the show, and i was suuuper nervous about it bc i didn't think i looked very good. but then DAN FUCKING HOWELL said "oh my god, that looks great on you." and who am I to argue with him?? once my sister and i finally left i actually burst into tears bc omg that just happened.
anyway. this was the most fun i've ever had.
(warning for a lot of excited screaming in the vid lol)
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unluckywisher · 2 days ago
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-> Audiovisual references <- -> AO3 Link <-
Summary: You go with Nero to a Wanderer Convention (the LaDS equivalent of Comic-Con) and shenanigans ensue after you win a cosplay contest...
Content: MDNI Porn with plot, hanging out with Nero, tension between you two, a bunch of cliche situations, Carter cameo because yes, experienced dom!fem!Reader, virgin extremely sub!Nero, coworkers to lovers, handjob, fingering, blowjob, p in v sex with protection (cowgirl to cuddling), overstimulation (crying), pussy eating, pegging, aftercare.
Word count: ~15k (this got out of my hands so fast) (+ extra at the end)
A/N: I wrote this for me and the other 3 freaks in the fandom who like Nero. I had so many ideas and scenes in mind but it honestly felt like too much for ONE fic so... Don't be surprised if I write more stuff for Nero in the future. I'm far from done. Mwah <3
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There was a stillness in the air, uncomfortable for anyone who could feel it. In this case, most of the Hunters in the room could, except for the one who had caused it.
Nero had barged into the floor where you all worked, waving two pieces of paper high in the air, yelling, “I got free tickets for the WandererCon, and they let me bring a +1, so who wants to come!?”
It had been so out of character for him, to be so loud and cheerful, that you all had turned from your desks to stare at him. The question now was, who wanted to go with him? He was the only one that liked Wanderers to that extent.
And so, a silence fell across the room. His expression started to falter, realizing how embarrassing it was to yell such a thing to his coworkers, and the lifted hand with the tickets began to plummet.
“Me! I wanna go!” You jumped, feeling nothing but pity for the poor guy.
He brightened up again, “Really?”
You walked up to him, giving Tara a look, and nodded. “Yeah, when is it?”
Back to his usual introversion, but motivated by your display of interest, he presented the ticket to you. “This weekend… It lasts the whole two days, b-but! We can go at whatever day and time is best for you…”
You took the ticket. It was a bright blue piece of laminated paper with a drawing of a chibi Wanderer waving glow sticks, the words ‘Come wander through WandererCon! Weekend pass for 1. Only valid if presented with its twin ticket.’ were written in glittery white. He was holding an identical one.
There was a choice to make. Clearly, Nero wanted to spend the whole weekend at this event, which would mean sacrificing all of yours for his happiness. Would it really be that bad? It was a once-a-year event, and the guy didn’t really have friends outside of forums to go to this with.
“I’m completely free this weekend, so let’s make the most of it!” You smiled.
Blush creeped up his face, mouth opening and closing a couple of times, fighting the urge to assure you that - No, it’s really okay if you don’t want to spend the whole weekend there - because damn it, he did actually want to do that, and since you were offering so nicely…
“Okay!” He finally exclaimed, clutching his ticket tight.
“We can discuss the details later, we have to go back to work or Jenna will think we’re slacking.”
“R-right, yeah, of course…” He stumbled over to his desk, glancing at you once over his shoulder before disappearing behind his wall of monitors.
On your way back to yours, Tara rolled his chair closer, whispering, “That was nice of you. You know, I doubt he would have complained if you had only offered an hour of your time.”
“It’s fine. I really didn’t have plans for this weekend, anyways.”
“Have fun. And good luck with Nero… He’s probably going to be very excitable.”
You chuckled. “Thanks. I’ll buy you something.”
Hours later, it was time to head back home.
You turned off your computer and walked over to Nero’s. He was typing up a storm and didn’t notice you approaching. An extensive document analyzing the material and composition of Wanderer’s body-formed blades, and whether or not they can be considered an exoskeleton. You recalled Jenna asking for such a report earlier, but you didn’t expect a whole dissertation about it. Squinting, you could see that there were… 143 pages of text, all written today.
“Damn, fast fingers…” You muttered, before realizing you had said it out loud.
The typing stopped abruptly. “What?” He swiveled in his chair, face pale in shock, not quite meeting your eyes.
“Nothing! I just, um, came here to say ‘I’ll text you later to discuss what we’ll do tomorrow’, so, yeah, message delivered. I’ll leave now.” You waved goodbye, smiling awkwardly.
“Okay.” He nodded, waving back. He was still recovering from your words, though he couldn’t tell if he had heard correctly.
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You arrived home and sighed. Were you truly ready for the activities of the next two days? Only time could tell.
After having dinner, now relaxing in your living room, you opened the messaging app. You couldn’t remember the exact moment you two had exchanged phone numbers, but this would be the first time you had texted each other, and the revelation made you strangely self-conscious about what your introductory message should be. Shaking your head, you went for something simple.
-> CLICK HERE TO PLAY THE TEXT MESSAGES! <-
Your patience be damned, you were determined to help Nero have a good time at the convention no matter what. Setting the phone down, you walked to your closet and rummaged around for the Lumiere costume, which was pleasantly clean and ready to be worn.
Goal in mind, you went to bed, ready for whatever the weekend would bring.
The alarm went off, signaling the start of your (most probably) eventful day. You rolled out of bed, had breakfast, took a shower, and commenced the Lumierification. 
In theory, it was simple, but it took you a minute to manage to fully zip up the dress since you couldn’t reach, and the thigh highs refused to stay on your thighs until you used fashion tape, not to mention the mask kept tilting to one side.
Eventually, everything was perfectly in place, hair and make up as well. Just in time, too, since the clock now read 10:30. You grabbed your bag and made your way out.
Parked outside was an unremarkable small gray car, but that was the last thing in your thoughts. Leaning on it with his arms crossed, stood a perfect recreation of a Luminivore, so much so that your first instinct was to reach for your gun - even if you weren’t carrying it.
Whatever cool and composed attitude Nero had went right out of the window once he saw you approach, uncrossing and crossing his arms again only to uncross them and scratch the back of his neck, which he couldn’t, because of the costume, so he let them drop and shifted on his feet.
“You- You said-,” he coughed, sound muffled through the headpiece, “I thought you were going to wear-”
You looked down at yourself. Ooooh, right. He was probably expecting a male version of the costume.
“My bad, sorry for the confusion,” you waved a hand in the air, chuckling, “I guess I’m a female version of Lumiere. Is that okay?”
“Okay?” he said a little louder than intended, “Yes, of course- Of course it’s okay.”
You stepped closer to look at his costume. “This looks amazing, by the way.”
He froze.
“Don’t tell me you drove here wearing that helmet, though, because… That seems dangerous.”
He quickly shook his head. “N-no, I didn’t, I just wanted to show you the whole thing put together…”
“Ah, good,” you lifted your hand to touch one of the glowing ridges on his arm, “You did a great job. Looks just like the real thing.”
“Thanks,” he squeaked out.
You clapped your hands together and smiled. “Well, let’s go! We have a great day ahead of us!”
The noise made him straighten up. He nodded and reached up to take off the headpiece. Under it, he looked like always, glasses lopsided and hair a bit ruffled from wearing the Wanderer’s head, but nothing different. You also took note of the red hue on his cheeks, but you attributed it to the same cause as the others. He smiled and gestured for you to get in the car.
The drive was mostly silent, except for the music coming from the radio. Nero had asked you if you wanted to put on your own playlist because ‘his music taste was bad’, but you shook your head, so he settled for the radio. Otherwise, neither of you talked.
You decided to look up what the event’s activities were. He had probably planned it out already, but you were still curious.
A lecture on Wanderers by a Xander scientist, a card tournament - you didn’t know they sold cards, a Meet and Greet with some renowned Hunters, a cosplay contest, a Twinkle Toys plushie reveal, a DIY Protocore candy station… The list went on. It seemed like people took this more seriously than you thought. There were also many merch stands all over the enclosure.
One of the activities stood out to you, though.
“Are you going to enter the cosplay contest?”
He gripped the steering wheel, “N-no. Why are you asking..?”
“You should! You have a shot at winning with yours.”
“Mmm… I don’t know. I’d have to go up a stage, with so many people looking…”
“It’s up to you. In my opinion, you could win, but I might be biased because we’re friends,” you giggled.
He chuckled, brow a bit furrowed.
An hour later, you arrived at the place where the convention would be held. It turned out that there was a parking lot reserved for those attending, so you didn’t have to go in circles looking for an empty spot.
You got out of the car and stretched, looking around. Quite a few people - some in costume, some not - were already gathering at the entrance.
Nero put the headpiece back on and walked a few steps towards the crowd, before stopping and turning to make sure you were following. He tilted his head in a “coming?” gesture.
Sliding your tote bag up your shoulder, you skipped along.
A queue rapidly formed, with a coordination you didn’t expect from a group of sleep deprived nerds. Some of them looked at you - more like ogled at you. Great.
“QuantumSocialite?” A random guy approached Nero, calling him by his username. His friends gasped and whispered among themselves.
“...Yes?”
“Dude, it’s me, LuxLuxLucis.”
“The Lightchasers mod? Oh, wow!”
“You really wore the costume! It looks insane. You’re a legend. The material looks so accurate, how did you do it?”
“Thank you. I analyzed many Luminivore pictures and samples of their chitinous exterior, then compared what materials would be best to use without risking the quality while…”
Aaand just like that, you stopped paying attention. Instead, you noticed how this guy’s friends kept whispering stuff and giggling while looking at Nero. They were giving you major bad vibes. Pretending to be still listening to the incomprehensible yapping, you shuffled closer and eavesdropped on what they were saying.
“...paid her to come along with him.”
“For sure, he’s chronically online and he made that costume, there’s no way a female is hanging out with him willingly.”
“Wow, you guys know a lot about Wanderers,” you said pointedly, joining Nero’s conversation, “I’m actually learning a lot. I’m really happy I was the one that got to be your +1 and not our coworkers,” you gave him a warm smile.
The whispering ceased, now replaced by confused looks. He was completely still, his thoughts a mystery since his face was hidden.
“If you want to learn about Wanderers, you’re in good hands,” said the guy he was talking to, “He’s the most knowledgeable in that area.”
“I know! He really is. I’m really lucky we came together.”
Nero looked down at his clawed gloves, fidgeting with them. The two trash talkers were staring in anger, which you interpreted as jealousy since they were most likely projecting. Suck it.
Just then, an announcement rang out, stating the opening of the gates and the inauguration of the convention. Everyone got their tickets ready and began entering the place.
People were getting a bit pushy and the crowd got thick around you, so you hooked your arm around Nero’s to avoid getting lost or trampled, feeling safer next to his bulky costume. He jerked his head towards you, then realized why you were standing that close to him, and folded his arm to let you hold onto him better. An imperceptible tremble ran across his body.
You both walked to the gates and presented your tickets.
“Alright, let’s see… Couples’ weekend passes… Everything looks in order! Have fun,” the staff member smiled.
“...couples’?” You asked when he was out of earshot.
“W-wait, n-no, I- I didn’t, I mean-,” he gestured wildly with his hands, “They w-were given to me, you remem-ber, how I said, I said I got them for f-free? But I didn’t want to uhh… Um, to make it weird! At the office! S-so I skipped the fact that they were for, uh, couples…”
You chuckled, “Nero, it’s okay, I was asking out of pure curiosity. I have nothing against them being for couples.”
“O-oh. Okay. Right. Ha…” He visibly relaxed at your reassurance.
“So, what do you want to do first?”
“I was thinking we could walk around and see all the stands. Should be enough time until the first scheduled event…”
“Sure! Let’s go.”
It was a big space with rows of stalls selling merch, but also ‘official’ booths, including a Hunter’s equipment showcase, one for the show Super Hunters - with exclusive art never seen before, another with Lumiere memorabilia straight from Linkon’s History museum, Wanderers’ life-sized replicas…
Obviously, you visited all of these with Nero. Even took a picture of him next to the Luminivore replica per his request. It was cute seeing him struggle to find a good pose.
“The lecture is going to start soon… I’m going to head over there, but if you’re not interested, you don’t have to go.”
“The Xander lecture? No, I’m going with you,” you said with determination. You didn’t tell him that it was because you thought they were shady as hell and this was a good opportunity to get further information about them, but it’s not like he needed to know.
With Nero’s planning, you managed to get a good seat at the lecture hall before it filled up. He took off the headpiece to be able to see better and to avoid bothering the people behind him, placing it on his lap. Both your bags rested between your feet.
A staff member appeared, microphone in hand. “Hello everyone, and welcome to Xander Sciences’ lecture on the nature of Wanderers. Without further delay, let me introduce the man who will be speaking today, Dr. Carter!”
Everyone clapped as the man himself walked onstage. You were immediately on high alert, eyes trained on him.
“Thank you, thank you. It’s a pleasure to be here,” he took the microphone.
The next hour was spent picking at every word he said, trying to find any kind of incriminating loose threads, but it was clear the lecture was well rehearsed and none of what he said was useful to you, even if the way he talked about Wanderers put you on edge.
At the end, you grabbed Nero’s arm and pulled him along, “I want to talk to Dr. Carter for a moment.”
“Okay,” he followed, cheeks pink.
The rest of the attendants walked to the exit, which gave you a clear path towards the stage’s stairs.
“Dr. Carter!” You called out, waving your hand up.
He stopped for a moment, surprised to see you there. He smiled, “Ah, Miss Hunter, it’s a pleasure to see you again. I didn’t know I’d have such esteemed listeners in the audience today,” he extended his hand to shake yours. You didn’t.
“It’s an honor to meet you in person, Dr. Carter, that was a very insightful lecture,” said Nero.
“The honor is mine. You seem to be a Wanderer enthusiast,” he looked at his costume.
“He’s my coworker,” you cut in, putting a little more emphasis on ‘my’ than you intended, “don’t bother trying to recruit him for anything.”
“As cold as ever I see, Miss Hunter. It was a simple observation, I didn’t even say anything.”
“Why did you decide to give a lecture here, Dr. Carter?” You ignored his remarks.
“Why not? I’ve done a lot of research on Wanderers, and I thought it’d be best to share my knowledge with those seeking it.”
You were sure there was something more to this than that, but you doubted he would outright admit it. It could even be something much simpler, shameless Xander Sciences publicity to make people interested in being under their care, whatever that entailed. You hoped people wouldn’t fall for it.
He continued, “Since you’re here, you wouldn’t by chance be interested in a quick chat between us, would you?” He took half a step closer.
You felt a weight around your shoulders, pulling you back. Nero, who had been silently watching, spoke with a frown.
“She clearly wants nothing to do with you. What do you think you’re doing?”
You looked at him, eyebrows raised. He had a very determined look on his face, one you had only seen when someone insulted Lumiere in his vicinity, and to be honest, he was kind of intimidating. Kind of.
The tension could be cut with a knife. They glared at each other for what felt like an eternity. If it was your turn to say anything, they were out of luck, because you had no idea what to say. Finally, Carter stepped back and slid his hands in his pockets.
“Have fun in the convention, Miss Hunter. And your Wanderer pet too,” he smirked.
He walked away, leaving you both huffing at his arrogance. No, actually, as you looked at Nero, you discovered you were the only one huffing. He was tomato red.
“You had more things planned for today, right?” You snapped him out of it.
“A-ah, yes,” he pushed his glasses up, “let’s go have lunch.”
There were food trucks stationed outside of the convention center. The walk helped Nero calm down, though he couldn’t seem to look you in the eye. He wished he could put the headpiece back on, but it was a pointless action since you were about to eat and he’d have to take it off again.
After some deciding, you settled for skewers of deep fried chicken that were easy to eat standing up. You chose the honey sauce, he chose the sweet and sour sauce. For something so simple, it was delicious - the queue you had to wait was definitely worth it.
“Do you want to try mine?” You held up a skewer to him.
His eyes darted between it and your face, blinking.
“I mean, we got different flavors, so…” You shrugged.
At that, he shook his head like he was getting rid of his thoughts, then nodded.
“Okay. I’ll trade you- Mhmph!?”
You didn’t give him a chance to finish his sentence - ‘one of my skewers for one of yours’ - not that you had heard the beginning of it in the first place. All you heard was him agreeing to try yours. 
You shoved the skewer into his mouth.
It took him a moment to understand what just had happened, but when it dawned on him, he turned red again. You were confused as to why he was staring at you instead of biting.
“...”
“...”
He bit down and gently pushed your hand away.
“How is it? Good, right?”
“Y-yes…”
“Can I try yours now?”
He lifted a skewer to give it to you in hand, but you-
“Aaah…” You opened your mouth expectantly.
The chances of him surviving this weekend decreased with every minute he spent by your side. Alas, he moved the skewer closer to your mouth with a trembling hand. You met him halfway and bit down on it, causing him to flinch.
You tore off a piece of the fried chicken, relishing in the taste with a “mmmm” as you chewed. By this point, he was fully looking away, covering his mouth with his gloved hand; it was so difficult to keep a clear mind.
“Yours is really good too!”
He hummed in response.
After finishing the food, a few people in cosplay walked past, followed by more, and more groups. The contest must have been about to start.
“You’re really not going to participate?” You asked.
Nero shook his head. He had put the helmet back on, to feel less ‘exposed’ more than anything.
“Is there any way I could convince you? What if we went together? You wouldn’t be alone,” you pulled out your phone, “I read there’s exclusive merch as reward for the winners that won’t be obtainable otherwise, and, look, there’s even a surprise prize for the couples’ category.”
You swore you heard him inhale sharply.
“We already have the couples’ tickets, don’t we? What’s the harm?”
You knew you were pushing him a bit too much, but you were sure that deep down he wanted to join the contest, all he needed was some bribing convincing, and limited merch was sure to do the trick.
“…Do you really want to join?”
“Yeah! It’ll be fun. Unless you think my costume isn’t that good. I don’t want to bring our score down.”
“No, no, no! Your costume is perfect! You look perfect. It would be great if we went together, actually…”
It was crazy to you that he got flustered over the smallest things but was able to say that to you with no trouble. Maybe he didn’t notice what he just said.
“Great! Let’s go register, then!”
Following the cosplayers, you walked back inside towards the hall where the contest would be held. They all looked fantastic, from many other Lumieres, to Wanderers of all kinds (a girl dressed as Heartbreaker was so cute), to characters from the Super Hunters show. All could be winners. But you looked to your left to the nervous mess that was walking alongside you, and you were certain that he would score the highest.
Names written, you were given the number 34 to go onstage. While you waited for your turn, you made sure everything about your costumes was in place. You even managed to convince him to practice some poses.
“I’m not sure about this…” He fidgeted with one of the protruding crystals on his elbow.
“We’re already inscribed, you can’t chicken out now.”
“I… There’s so many people here…”
“Nero,” you swatted his hand away so he wouldn’t ruin his own costume, “forget about them. Don’t look at them. Just look at me. We’re going to crush this, okay?”
He nodded faintly.
“When we go up there, keep your eyes on me if you want. Pretend the judges don’t exist.”
“O-okay.”
And so he did. When you two went onstage, his eyes didn’t stray from you. Not as you unsheathed your sword and struck a pose, not as you pretended to fight him, not as you gave a final smile and bow to the judges, not as you grabbed his arm and dragged him off the stage. The thing was, hadn’t you told him to keep his eyes on you, he still would have. He had been marveling at you from the corner of his eye whenever he had worn the helmet.
“You did great, Nero!” You clapped, giddy. “We’re gonna win for sure!”
He fidgeted under your praise, “Thank you.”
The rest of the contestants had their turn, which made you increasingly nervous; you wanted to know the results as soon as possible. You had gone through the trouble of convincing Nero, it would be a shame if you didn’t get at least a minor prize.
“And now, on the couples’ category…” The voice of the presenter echoed backstage, “In third place, couple 52!” Applause. The respective couple walked out. “In second place, couple 19!” More applause. They walked out, too. “Before we announce first place, a few honorable mentions…” Oh, come on. 
“It’s okay if we don’t win,” Nero said with a soft voice.
You took his hand, “We are going to win.”
You had only taken his hand to calm down your own nerves, excitement and anticipation coursing through your veins, but it also helped him relax slightly, as long as he didn’t think too hard about the fact that he was holding your hand.
“In first place…” You both tensed up. “Couple 34!”
He squeezed your hand in reflex. Time stopped for a second. It wasn’t until a staff member pushed you both towards the stage that your face broke into a big smile, jumping and shaking Nero.
You were received with applause, like the previous couples. They made you walk to the center of the stage, standing between the other two pairs of winners, who were also clapping. The judges spoke.
“Congratulations to all of the winners, and thank you to everyone who participated. If you may all please take off the parts covering your faces so we can see our champions properly…”
The couples beside you took off theirs, you took off the Lumiere mask, and Nero took off the helmet. Applause followed. He smiled shyly, looking around at the crowd. Confetti rained down. Lost in the excitement of the moment, you moved closer to give Nero a kiss on the cheek. Just as he was turning to you.
Now, it’s not like you kissed him. But your lips did land on the corner of his mouth. 
You blinked at each other.
“H-HUH?” He reeled back, covering his flushed face.
No time to explain yourself, as the staff members brought the prizes and shoved them into your hands. A large basket filled with all kinds of merch was given to all three pairs of participants.
“And for the couple who placed first, a special bonus! WandererCon has collaborated with a nearby hotel for a unique experience, offering you both a one-night stay!”
The staff gave you some documents detailing everything.
“That concludes this years’ contest…” The judge continued, but you weren’t listening anymore.
Because if what the documents said was true, you were about to spend the night with Nero in a room with one bed. Judging by the look on his face, he had just read that part, too.
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“We have to tell them, that there’s been a… Um. A mistake,” he told you later, sitting on a bench, helmet back on to hide his expression.
“What if we tell them that we’re not a couple and they take away our prizes? They would question why we entered the couples’ category if we’re not one,” you reasoned.
The thought of losing the merch made him pause.
“It’ll be fine. I read that the room has a couch. One of us can sleep on it. And! Did you read the part about the Wanderer-themed food they’ll be serving us for dinner and breakfast? That sounds amazing.”
“Yeah… It does…” 
In the end, he relented. That’s how you found yourself taking the keys to the room in the hotel’s reception, where you were informed of all the amenities and services provided.
A few of the guests gave you weird looks, but the receptionist asked to take a picture with you both.
“You must be the winners of the contest!” She had said with excitement. “Well, lovebirds, enjoy the room,” she added at the end of her explanation, winking.
The ride in the elevator was awkward after that moment. Floor 1… Floor 2… Floor 3… All the way to floor 6.
Luckily, the luxuriousness of the room took over all of your thoughts as you stepped in. It made you wonder what WandererCon could gain by partnering with this hotel for such a sum of money spent on this suite.
“The description on the document did not do this place justice,” you commented.
“Yeah… That sofa is bigger than my bed back at home…” He took off the helmet to see the place better.
The floor-to-ceiling windows gave you a view of the hotel’s garden below. A massive TV hung from the wall, coffee table and sofa in front of it. There was even a kitchenette in a corner, minifridge filled to the brim with free stuff that you couldn’t help but want to try right away just because it was free.
To the left, the entrance to the bedroom. If the sofa was already big enough to sleep, the canopy bed must’ve been king size. On it, a pair of folded pajamas and a change of underwear had been left, as well as a gift basket filled with…
“I’m going to put that away,” you said promptly, not giving Nero the chance to process its contents.
You opened the wardrobe and shoved it in the lowest space available.
“Woah… Look at this,” he beckoned from the bathroom door.
Peeking from his shoulder, the only word that you could really use to describe what you were seeing was lavish. Marble floors and walls, a massive shower, a massive sink under a massive mirror, and of course, to top it off, a massive jacuzzi. The reason for their sizes being that they were meant to be used by two people at once.
Room fully explored, you sat down on the sofa to discuss what to do next.
“They’ll bring us dinner as soon as we ask for it. I don’t know about you, but I want to take a shower and change first,” you said, taking off some of the costume’s accessories.
“Uh, yeah, no, I agree. You can use the bathroom first, I’ll go after you.”
“Okay. Thanks.”
You took the provided clothes and stepped into the bathroom, feeling tiny. It was easy to take off most of what you were wearing, except the same item that gave you trouble when you first got Lumierefied: The dress. You tried to reach the zipper at the top of your back from different angles, but you couldn’t get enough leverage to pull it down.
“Damn it.”
Nero was on his phone when you walked back to the sofa, presumably on one of his forums.
“Hey.”
He almost dropped his phone, startled. “Yeah?” He turned to you.
“I can’t unzip my dress. Would you mind helping me?”
Instantly red. And phone dropped.
You turned around to show him the zipper. “If you pull it a bit I think I can reach the rest of the way.”
He had taken off his clawed gloves already to be able to use his phone, so he had no excuse to procrastinate. As he moved to stand behind you, you could feel his shaky breaths on your nape, and you could swear you heard his heart hammering in his chest.
Ziiip.
It was faster than you had expected. Then again, you guessed he wanted to be done with it as soon as possible.
“T-there.”
“Thank you!”
Back in the bathroom, you took off the dress and turned on the shower. If you had been on your own, you would have tried the jacuzzi, but you didn’t want to take up too much time.
The water was nice and hot, not to mention the shampoo and gel given by the hotel smelled really good. Like coconut.
You finished showering and wrapped a towel around your body, drying your hair a bit too. There were a few steps in your post-shower routine that you usually went through, but you remembered that Nero was quite resolute about cleanliness and would want to use the shower as soon as possible, so in the name of efficiency, you took your clothes and lotions out of the bathroom and into the bedroom.
“I’m done! You can go now,” you called out.
“Okay!”
He came trotting through the door, only to freeze and cover his eyes with his hands upon seeing your towel-clad form.
“Y-you said you were d-done…” His voice got quieter and quieter.
“I am! I know you like being clean, and you already did me a favor by letting me go first, so you can shower while I finish changing here!”
“It’s okay… Really, I, I can wait…”
“Nonsense. Come on.”
You grabbed his set of clothes and pushed them into his hands, forcing him to look at you, the way you wet hair clung to your skin, your flushed cheeks due to the heat of the water, the dangerously low point the towel was resting on your chest- He swallowed.
Completely ignoring his wandering eyes, moreso because it amused you, you grabbed his arm and forced him into the bathroom.
“See? Was that so difficult?”
You closed the door before he could answer, but he had little to say.
Time to finish your self-care routine. You grabbed the body moisturizer and started applying it to your arms and legs, the texture soft. Would they tell you the brand if you asked in the hotel’s reception?
While you pondered this, there was a crash.
“Nero…? You okay?”
“U-uh, yeah! I- I fell trying to get this off…”
“Having trouble with your costume, too? Yours looks harder to put on and take off than mine.”
“I didn’t really have trouble putting it on, but now…”
“Okay, let me help,” you knocked.
The door opened a crack, then closed as soon as he saw you.
“You- Ah, mm… Change first.” 
“I can’t put on the pajamas yet, I have to let the lotion dry. Just come out.”
One second of silence. Two seconds of silence. The door opened again.
Making a gesture with your hands for him to move closer, you instructed him to lean down so you could pull off the upper part of the costume. He was glad he didn’t have to look at you and could look at the floor instead.
It was difficult to find the right amount of force to use, since you didn’t want to ruin it, but you had to get it unstuck.
So you pulled, and pulled, and pulled, each time with a bit more strength- Too late. The piece came off, but now there was no time to brake. You stumbled back, making Nero stumble forward, the costume part flying off backwards over your head and landing on the other side of the room… Just as you landed on the floor and Nero on top of you.
“Ow…” You reached to rub your head. At least there was a carpet.
“I- Uh- Um- I-”
You blinked your eyes open to see why Nero was speechless now. Ah. The towel.
It wasn’t completely off, but a straight line of skin was exposed from your right shoulder to your right thigh. That included half of your chest.
The rest was covered, but it’s not like it mattered right now.
He couldn’t function. His eyes were glued to your body, and his face was poppy red. Even his glasses were fogging up.
“Oh, please,” you rolled your eyes, “Nero, it’s a body part. You’ve never seen a body?”
He didn’t answer, still overwhelmed.
Well, since this had happened, you might as well have fun.
“Look.”
You grabbed his hand that was planted next to your head and pressed it to your breast, lifting an eyebrow.
“See? Just a body part.”
He squeaked and reeled back, pulling his hand free and crawling away from you. You sat up with a mischievous smile.
“Be honest,” you started, crawling towards him, “you like all this, don’t you? When I’m close to you, when I pay attention to you, when I touch you…”
He whimpered in response. The towel had fully fallen off by now.
“You act all shy, but we both know… You’ve been wanting this from the beginning.”
You reached him, caging him beneath you as he lay flat on the ground to stay as far away from you as possible. He was wearing a white T-shirt under the upper part of the costume, but he had yet to remove the bottom half, and you were certain that there was no space for him to wear pants of any kind under it, so he must be in boxers.
“I won’t do anything else unless I have your permission. If you want me to continue, you have to say it.”
Droplets from your wet hair fell on his face. Somehow, he managed to keep eye contact.
“You…” His chest fell and rose. “K-kiss me again, like before? P-please…”
Right, the accidental kiss. Had he been thinking about it this whole time? It was a quite innocent request compared to the situation you had put him in, but surprisingly direct coming from Nero.
His eyes darted to your lips several times, but he didn’t dare move.
“You want me to kiss you,” you repeated, then smirked, “is that all?”
He made a sound of protest and frustration. His fingers clutched the carpet in an attempt to hold himself back from doing anything embarrassing. He shook his head.
“No? What else? Use your words, pretty boy.”
His hand flew to his mouth. Did you really just call him that? You chuckled.
“Fine, we’ll take it slow.”
You pulled his hand away and pinned his arms to the floor. Slowly, so slowly, you leaned down until your lips brushed against his. Nothing more than a feather touch had him already gasping.
“Let’s see…” You whispered, “this is what I did before.”
Repeating what had happened in the contest, you kissed the corner of his lips. This time, however, letting the contact last longer, and making sure that a ‘mmm’ sound reverberated into the kiss.
When you pulled away, Nero was practically panting. His body squirmed under you, but you were certain it wasn’t because he wanted to escape your cruel intentions.
“There. That’s what you asked for.”
“W-wait!” Afraid that you were going to leave him like that, he found his voice again, “I want… Uhm- If you could, ah…”
“All you have to do is ask for it.”
He closed his eyes tight, as if saying these next words took all of his strength, “Do whatever you want with me.”
Your eyes widened. Oh, wow. He was actually a freak. Always the shy ones… You huffed a laugh, brushing the tip of your nose across his cheek to prompt him to open his eyes.
“Whatever, huh. Let’s be sensible. Just in case, let’s agree on a safe word,” you looked at him with genuine consideration.
He nodded, growing increasingly nervous at the thought of what you were about to do to him.
“How about… ‘Protocore’?”
“O-okay,” he knew this wasn’t a silly matter, so he was trying his best to be verbal about it.
“Alright, test it out. When should you say it?”
“Um… When I, if I feel uncomfortable… I should say p-protocore.”
“Good boy.”
Those two words made bumps appear all over his arms. You smiled with amusement.
That matter settled, your eyes made a very deliberate path to his lips. Since you were holding his wrists, your finger rested right over the pulse point there, showing you just how fast his heart had started beating at your gaze.
He tilted his head up to get himself the smallest bit closer to you, practically begging for a kiss. An actual proper kiss.
Your lips pressed against his, finally. You noticed they were slightly chapped, the texture rough in contrast to your softness, but that only made you want to run your tongue over them. So you did.
He instantly opened his mouth in response. You plunged your tongue into his mouth, which earned you a muffled whimper. He swiped his tongue against yours with caution, growing more comfortable as you kept going. It became messy very fast due to his inexperience, the deeper you kissed him, the more he started drooling.
Despite that, he was a very desperate kisser. Like he didn’t believe this was happening, nor it would ever happen again in the future, so he might as well go all out in the present.
You pulled back and licked your lips, looking down at his state. His glasses, apart from foggy, were now crooked, and a line of drool ran down his chin. You licked it up.
“I’m curious,” you announced with an air of mystery.
He tilted his head, silently asking ‘about?’. Not answering, you moved to sit next to him, setting his arms free. He mentally debated if he should touch your naked body with his newfound freedom, but he didn’t have time to reach a conclusion as your hand slid to his pants - still part of the costume - and pulled them off, along with his underwear.
He froze in flustered silence, completely exposed to you. Part of him wanted to cover himself up, it was too embarrassing to let you see his fully erect leaking dick, he felt too self-conscious about it, but the other part of him was curious to know your opinion. Maybe if you insulted him now, it would be easier for him to accept that he had fumbled you once he got back home.
But, you didn’t say anything.
No, as you stared at the 8-inch cock in front of you, you really didn’t have anything to say. Always the shy ones indeed.
With almost wonder in your eyes, you wrapped a hand around it. Nero twitched.
“W-wait, mh-”
He pushed himself up on his elbows, reaching to grab your wrist with half-lidded eyes. You didn’t move your hand, but returned your gaze to his expression.
“Wait? For what?”
“I just, well, you were kissing me and- I’m not saying I didn’t like it, t-the opposite, but well I’m nervous now, so… Uh, not yet because, because I-”
Cutting him off, you started pumping up and down, precum helping you slide along his length. He bit down hard on his lip to prevent a moan.
“W-wait! I! Ah-”
He let go of your hand in order to keep himself lifted on his elbows.
“Stop, s-stop, I’m too sensitive-”
You didn’t let up. If anything, you sped up, brushing your thumb across the tip.
“I don’t see how that’s a problem,” you said with a smirk.
“B-because, mh, fffh…” His words became higher pitched and whiney, “I don’t-”
His worst nightmare was realized right then. Having any sort of sexual interaction with a beautiful girl and cumming in less than thirty seconds. How pathetic of him, he thought.
The cum spilled over your hand and shot all across his T-shirt, his abdomen and legs shaking. His elbows gave out and he fell on his back.
“I’m s-orry- I’m sorry, I’m so- sorry-” Was the only thing he said through the orgasm, covering his eyes.
You stood up and left to go to the bathroom, and it solidified the fact for him: You thought he was disgusting and wanted to get away from him as soon as possible.
Nothing further from the truth, as you returned with a damp towel after cleaning your hand to help him clean up. You moved his hands away from his face and repositioned his glasses.
“I’m sorry,” he repeated.
“What for?” You asked now that he had calmed down somewhat, handing him the towel.
“Mm… I, I came too fast…”
“But I wanted you to cum.”
“W-well, yeah, but, you know, that’s uhh…”
He didn’t look you in the eye as he cleaned himself and took his stained shirt off.
“It’s what?”
“Kinda… Pathetic…?”
He stood up and realized you were both completely bare in front of the other, and he still hadn’t touched you. The passing contact of his palm on your breast burned his skin.
“Maybe, but I found it hot.”
The blush returned to his face. He looked down and started fidgeting with his hands. You remembered he was about to shower before all of this happened, so you slid your hand in his and led him to the bathroom.
“Um, what are you-”
“I’ve been wanting to try the jacuzzi.”
“Oh.”
Water started filling the tub. In the meantime, you turned to Nero and stepped closer. He wanted to put his hands on you so badly, but he was too embarrassed to try. 
Honestly, you just wanted to eat him up.
“Relax. We’re just going to take a bath, and then we’ll have dinner.”
“Yeah… Okay.”
You reached up and gently took off his glasses. Before setting them aside, you tried them on, curious, only to find he had a very high prescription. Even though you were blurry, the way you widened your eyes wasn’t missed and it made him giggle. As you looked at him, he coughed to cover up his laugh and looked away.
“I’d give you um, a compliment, about how they look on you but, you know uh… I can’t really see. Although I k-know for a fact that you look good in them because, because you… You look g-good in anything…”
You took them off and put them near the sink, then kissed his cheek.
“Thank you.”
Your bodies brushed when you got closer, and he instinctively lifted his hands with fear as if to say ‘I didn’t touch you on purpose! I’m not a pervert!’.
You shook your head and facepalmed. He panicked again at your gesture.
“Nero, I just gave you a handjob,” you sighed, “You know what? It’s okay. Forget that happened, maybe I went too fast. Let’s start from the beginning.”
You turned off the faucet, water having reached an acceptable level, and gestured for him to get in first. Like a small animal in distress, he followed your command and sank into the water, cowering because you seemed angry - you weren’t.
Before he could protest, you entered and sat on his lap, facing him, straddling his thighs. His hands gripped the edges of the tub.
“You said-!”
“And I meant it! Calm down, I just want you to get more comfortable with me. My body. Not every skin to skin contact has to be about sex.”
He relaxed the tiniest bit.
“Now, put your hands on my waist. And you have to understand, I want you to touch me. I’m not going to judge you for doing that. I was the one who put your hand on my chest!”
He nodded along with your explanation, sliding his hands down the white marble and bringing them to your sides. It still felt forced.
“Tell me something. Do you want to touch me?”
“Yes! Y-yes…” He sank his mouth underwater, blowing a few bubbles.
“Then do it. I give you full permission to move your hands wherever you want. Would you rather I… Don’t look?” You tilted your head. “Is that it? You feel judged if I’m looking at you?”
“A bit…”
“Okay.”
You wrapped your arms around his neck and leaned forward, resting your head against your bicep. Your chest pressed against his. He got hard again.
A few moments passed, but seeing you weren’t moving nor saying anything, he began to slide his hands up. You could feel his warm face pressed to your cheek.
He stopped right when he felt your breasts, gathering the courage to continue. As gently as he could, he cupped each breast in his hands until his palms were flush with your skin.
“C-can I… squeeze or will that hurt you?”
“As long as you don’t do it very hard, it’s fine.”
Worried about how hard was ‘very hard’, he squeezed with barely any force, then ran his thumbs across your nipples. That made you exhale.
He froze.
“That feels good,” you reassured him.
“Oh, okay,” he was taking mental notes of every piece of information.
He continued his exploration, moving his hands down this time, to your thighs. The sound of water and his echoey breathing were the only noise in the bathroom, since you hadn’t turned on the jacuzzi function yet.
He squeezed them, too, sliding his way up, but staying on the outer part.
“You’re- Very um, soft.”
“I think it’s the lotion I just used, but thanks,” you kissed his cheek, “your hands feel nice.”
“A-are you going to, uh, kiss me every time I compliment you?”
“Yeah, why not.”
“Well, I think you’re very pretty, b-but! Obviously that’s not the only thing about you, I mean, you’re a great Hunter and you’re very intelligent, every time you come back from a mission and I read your reports it’s always amazing to see how efficient you are, and you’re so much fun to spend time with, I-I’m very happy you came with me- Ah! I didn’t tell you before but you wear the costume so well, and you’re so talented-”
You cut him off with a kiss, which he instantly melted into. His arms wrapped around your waist to keep you close. This time he was a bit more sure of what he was doing, tilting his head and returning the motions of your lips. You pulled back but he furrowed his brow with a whine and dipped his head to kiss you again, one of his hands moving to cup your cheek.
Far from complaining, you kissed him back. The hand still on your back slid down to your rear. He broke the kiss with urgency.
“Y-you… made me feel good so I want to m-make you feel good too… Um… Show me how…?”
“Yeah, of course,” you smiled, glad that he was warming up to intimacy.
He took his hand off your cheek and presented it to you. Grabbing his wrist, you plunged it into the water and brought it between your legs.
“Feel around first, don’t be shy.”
The pads of his fingers traced down your pubes, over your clit and into your folds, finding your entrance.
“Do I just…”
“Hold on, you overlooked something.”
“I- I did?”
You moved his hand back slightly.
“That’s my clitoris. I thought you’d like to know.”
He blushed furiously, “O-oh. Yeah, mhm…”
His finger circled it a couple of times, getting used to its feel. Your breath hitched. Encouraged, he kept rubbing it.
“So is it better to do this… Rather than, you know, f-fingering you…?”
“Both are different, but I’m going to show you the best way. Put your ring and middle fingers together and put them in.”
“A-at the same time?”
“Yeah, slowly.”
He followed your instructions, ever careful. Once they were fully in, you spoke up.
“Okay… Now curl-”
The action was immediate, a gasp falling from your lips as you gripped his shoulders.
“Did I hurt you!?” He was about to pull his hand back but you kept it in place, shaking your head.
“Quite the opposite. You’re doing great. Now, press your palm up…”
Your hips bucked into his touch as he did.
“Y-yeah, like that, now you just move your fingers and rub with your palm.”
He started slow, pumping his fingers in and out while curled, making sure to keep the friction against your clit. You suspected he had skilled hands ever since you had seen him typing away on his computer, but his coordination was surpassing your expectations.
You grew breathless, your hips rocking in tandem with his touch. The water sloshed around you.
“And… You can…” You grabbed his free hand and placed it on your breast with a squeeze. “Mmm, like that…”
He was just as worked up as you, if not more. Unprompted - to your delight, he dipped his head and started kissing your neck. Very sweet and innocent kisses compared to what his hands were doing.
“C-can I, hm, b-bite you?”
“Yes,” you breathed, the pronunciation of the word more lewd than you intended.
You felt his dick twitch on your thigh. His teeth clamped down on your neck, tongue licking the skin with intent. You moved your hand down to jerk him off again, but he stopped you, a frustrating loss on your chest.
“No. T-this is for you… Just concentrate on feeling good, okay?”
“Okay,” you dug your fingers into his hair instead.
“Am I doing well?” His hand returned to fondling your breast.
“You’re doing great… Mh- Maybe you can go faster now.”
No more words were needed. He picked up the pace, hitting your g-spot just right each time, grinding his palm against your clit with more determination.
The moans couldn’t be held back anymore. He planted open-mouthed kisses to the spot where he had bitten, noting how you clenched around his fingers. How would that feel on his dick?
Pleasure started pooling, your movements becoming more erratic, reaching for that high. He noticed and pushed his fingers harder against your spongy walls.
“Nero- Mh… Keep going like that, yes, just like that- I’m gonna cum- Fuck, don’t stop-”
Your hands clutched his hair, head falling back, and-
With a gasp, followed by a moan, the orgasm wrecked through you. He kept moving his hand until your head fell on his chest, just to make sure you had fully finished. 
He pulled his fingers out and hugged you in silence as your breathing returned to normal.
Once your senses came back, you lifted your head to give him a sweet kiss. He smiled, shy.
“You… Liked it?”
“Yes. I didn’t expect you to be so good at it,” you chuckled.
Pride overtook his expression.
“You sure you don’t want me to…” You looked down at his erection.
He shook his head, “A-after dinner… If you want, I- We-”
You laughed again, “After dinner, absolutely. Let me help you wash your hair, at least. It’s all tousled now…”
Since you had already taken a shower earlier, you focused on helping him, which he really appreciated. All the contact and intimacy that he had never had made this day easily one of the best of his life.
You washed his hair and massaged his scalp, sneaking a few kisses when he closed his eyes. He washed the rest of his body himself, blushing as you absentmindedly traced your fingers across his skin while you waited.
Before leaving the bath, you remembered the reason why you wanted to use it in the first place: The jacuzzi function. You pressed the button and relaxed for a few minutes under the bubbling water.
It wasn’t healthy to stay too long, though, so you said goodbye to the jacuzzi with a mock salute. 
Nero passed you a towel and wrapped one around himself. Luckily relaxing in the water had made him go soft again, relieved that he didn’t have to feel embarrassed about having a tent.
You dried off then put on the pajamas and underwear, all very comfy and soft, and he put his glasses back on.
“I’ll call them to bring our dinner while you dry your hair,” he offered.
“Okay!”
The hair dryer was also really good quality. You were definitely going to participate in more contests in the future, regardless of whether a hotel stay was in the prizes or not.
You brushed your dry hair and walked out of the bathroom. Just then, a knock at the door.
Nero opened it and a staff member entered, pushing a serving cart filled with covered plates. They left it next to the coffee table.
“We have organized it so the entrées are on the upper tray, and dessert is on the bottom tray. The idea is that you go down each tray of food. There’s also a triptych on the top describing each meal. Do you have any questions?”
“Nope.” You looked at Nero. He shook his head.
“Then I’ll get going. Enjoy your food!” They smiled.
“Thank you!” You both said in unison.
The door closed. You took the first tray and put it on the table, then sat on the sofa.
“Want to do the honors?” You said to him.
“Yeah. We can do one each,” he sat next to you and lifted the silver cover.
The food was amazing. Both in presentation - they nailed the ‘Wanderers’ theme - and in taste. As you ate the meals, however, you noticed that Nero had grown weirdly quiet, and not in the usual shy way.
“Is everything alright?” You put your fork down.
“Hm? Why?”
“I don’t know, you seem upset or like, lost in thought.”
He put his fork down too.
“D-do you like me?”
“...What? What do you mean?”
“I mean… A-are you interested in me or… D-do you just want, uhm, a one night stand…?”
“Oh! No, no, I’m interested in you, Nero. I like you. You’re so cute and sweet. I would… It would be nice if we started dating.”
“Wait- Really?” He looked up at you with bright eyes, pushing up his glasses in a nervous gesture.
“If you also want to, yes.”
“Yes! Yes, I want to. I want you to be my g-girlfriend.”
You hugged him, covering his face in little kisses that knocked his glasses off. He laughed nervously, wrapping his arms around your waist and burying his face in your hair.
“S-stop, that’s too much…” He complained, but you knew he wasn’t actually annoyed.
“I can’t help it, you’re sitting here looking so kissable… Hehehe.”
You grabbed his glasses and put them back on his face.
“The food will get cold. You can continue your attacks after we eat,” he said, letting go of you.
“Oh, I intend to.”
That sent a shiver up his spine, but he refrained from saying anything in case you would change your mind and forget about the food entirely. After all, he wanted to enjoy this cute moment of eating dinner with his girlfriend.
Meals finished, cart taken away, you stood up with your arms crossed.
“Well?”
“...well what?” He looked around nervously.
“Are you going to stand up and join me in the bed or are you going to keep editing those pictures you took of the food?”
“A-ah…” He dropped his phone for the second time today.
You picked up the phone and left it on the table, away from him, to then pull him up by his arms.
“That wasn’t a response.”
“I’ll join you,” he muttered, avoiding eye contact.
You walked to the bedroom, hand in hand, but you stopped in front of the closet as you remembered the basket.
This time Nero got a good look at it.
“We-! We’re not gonna-! We-! Use all of that!?” He pointed at all of the items with a bewildered look.
“Calm down, we’re not. Geez, how freaky does the hotel management think we are?” You said with sarcasm, knowing exactly how much of a freak you were.
Nero seemed in particular distress about the strap on, which you lifted with curiosity but promptly put down. No, you were just looking for the condoms. For now.
“I feel like you should know, well I, I’m not exactly, um, what I mean is, I’m… A virgin.”
How sweet of him to mention it, as if it wasn’t obvious. You held back your snarky comeback, since this was serious for him and you weren’t that evil.
“Right. That’s okay. You remember the safe word?”
“Yes.”
“Then we’re good!”
You took one of the condoms and guided him to the bed, sitting down.
“I also don’t… I have no idea how to… Put one of those on.”
“I’ll help you, don’t worry,” you were concerned about the lack of sexual education he had received, but that was a different matter entirely.
He looked unsure of what to do next. Kiss you? Start undressing? Jump out of the window from embarrassment?
Those doubts dissipated as you started kissing his neck, his eyes closing in bliss.
“You left a mark on my neck,” you whispered between kisses, “it’s only fair I return the favor.”
He tilted his head up, grabbing a fistful of your hair, realizing he might be hurting you and letting go, ultimately grabbing again once you bit down. The noise he let out was borderline pornographic.
You sucked and licked the skin, only stopping to admire how it looked before moving on to a different spot and repeating the process. 
By the time you were done, his neck was covered in hickeys, he was panting, and he was visibly hard. Your hands had stayed on his shoulders the entire time on purpose, but now, as you looked at him look at you, they wandered down to unbutton his shirt.
He tried to avoid your gaze by looking at them, but you were quick to tilt his chin back up.
“Unbutton mine.”
He complied, fumbling with the buttons and taking twice the time you did out of pure nervousness. He was about to lose his virginity with you of all people. Fuck, he was about to lose his virginity period.
You took off the pajamas and discarded them on the floor. Despite having seen you naked not that long ago, it took him a moment to calm down again.
Gently pushing him back, you took off his pants and knelt between his legs.
“I’m gonna show you how to put on a condom but first I wanna do something…”
“Hm?”
You lowered your head towards his erection and he immediately palmed your forehead to stop you.
“W-wait!”
He retracted his hand, but kept it between you and his dick.
“What?” You raised an eyebrow.
“If- If you do that, I am certain, I am… I will c-cum right away…”
“I still don’t see the issue.”
“But- You- I- Well- We-” He started gesticulating incoherently.
You took the opportunity of his hands being busy to lower your head the rest of the way and lick up his shaft.
“Ah!” He threw his head back, then shot you a glare.
The eye contact in that moment was when you decided to put your whole mouth around it, sucking it completely. It was the right choice, as you got a perfect view of his flustered expression.
His hands gripped the sheets, unintelligible sounds falling from his lips.
“Mh! Nghh…”
You sucked from bottom to tip, dragging your tongue along the veins, making sure to cover all of it with your saliva. Your dominant hand followed just after your lips, while the other fondled his balls. 
“You have such a pretty dick, you know,” you kissed the frenulum.
It twitched in your hand, precum already dripping, and Nero grabbed a pillow to cover his face and muffle his moans.
“No, no, no, c’mon,” you pulled it away, “don’t you wanna see the cum all over my face when you finish?”
“Why do you-, why are you-, I’m just, I feel like-”
You sucked it fully again, swirling your tongue around it. His stomach trembled in tandem with his heaving breaths.
“Ahgh! Mmmff… P-please- Ahh…”
He was holding back. He was trying so hard not to cum, to impress you, to prove to himself that he could last, that he wouldn’t be a mess when he was finally inside you, but sucking up the length while rolling your eyes back and humming was all it took.
Thick ropes of white painted the inside of your mouth, his hips stuttering. Another apologetic string of sentences rang out of him, only a lot more garbled, his head on the mattress and his back arched towards you.
You licked and swallowed all the cum. When you finally pulled back and looked at his state, he refused to make eye contact, but his eyes were fixed on the top of the canopy with suspicious concentration.
You looked up and, ah, of course, a mirror. Your eyes met his and he instantly looked away, moving to lie on his side and bury his face against the mattress.
“Nero, are you embarrassed or are you upset? I can’t tell.”
“Mm mmm,” he answered, words muffled.
You lied down next to him and caressed his cheek. He slowly came out of hiding.
“I didn’t understand that. Can you repeat it?”
“The first,” he repeated with a huff.
“So, embarrassed. But, did you like it?”
“Are you joking!?” He exclaimed, “I- I mean… Yes…”
“Great, because I’m far from done with you,” you lifted the condom to his flushed face, “wanna be on top?”
He shook his head so hard that his glasses almost fell off.
“Listen,” he tried to explain as you got on top of him once more, “I’m still sensitive, a-and I might cum just as fast anyways, so I’m really sorry in advance for how much of a mess I’m going to be, I promise I’m doing my best, if you don’t want to do this anymore that’s fine by me, we can do whatever you want- Aah-,” he shuddered as you slipped the condom on his still hard dick, “...that was easier than I expected- A-as I was saying! If you don’t like this, I could e-eat you out instead- MMMGH!”
You sank onto him in a swift move, the full length now buried to the hilt inside your warm cunt. It made you gasp, too. It felt better than any sex toys or past flings you had had.
“With how fast you talk, I don’t doubt that it would be nice, but you made me so wet with all your moaning that I couldn’t wait to fuck you properly.”
He mumbled a response, hands grabbing your thighs to keep you still for a moment; it was too much for him to process, and he knew that if you started moving he would-
You rocked your hips, propping yourself with your hands on his chest, and his nails dug into your skin with a broken whimper.
“Wait!”
Ignoring him, you did it again. God, he felt good.
“Agh-!” He arched his body, scratching your thighs, which he looked really apologetic about but he couldn’t help himself.
“How mean, you have all this and you want to keep it all to yourself…” You teased.
“N-no, it’s not that, I swear, u-use me, I-”
At those words, you raised your hips and dropped them sharply, the tip of his dick kissing your cervix. His eyes rolled back, words dying in his throat.
“You didn’t let me, let me f-finish s-speaking…!” He protested.
“Since you wanna talk so much, how about I give you something to do with your mouth?”
You reached up and pushed your fingers inside his mouth, delivering another pointed rock of your hips. Helpless, he began sucking on them. 
Matter settled, you started to actually move on top of him at a constant rhythm, new red lines appearing on your thighs with each movement. He was so overstimulated that tears started to pool and fall down his cheeks.
The best thing about riding him was that you could deliver a perfect hit to your g-spot every time, although with how thick he was, he might’ve done that anyways if he was on top. 
You clenched around him and he saw stars, whimpering and moaning between your fingers. Hit after hit, warmth started to spread across your body, growing more and more breathless as the pleasure built, never enough - you needed to step it up.
So you took your hand out of his mouth to keep balance as you fucked yourself on his dick, faster and harder, his pussy-drunk expression only serving to drag you further, moans now spilling from your lips as well.
Nero slowly but surely recovered from the overstimulation, the mattress below him wet with tears. He chased his own pleasure now too, hips jerking up to meet you.
“I’m gonna cum,” you said, having trouble holding yourself up.
“Don’t st-oh-op, p-please, p-please, mmh…”
“I- I can’t keep, fuck, ah-”
The rope stretched tighter and tighter until it snapped, electricity jolting up your spine. Your body shook and fell on top of Nero’s, spasming with the aftershocks of the orgasm.
“No! Mh! P-please!” He cried, feeling so close himself but edged since you had stopped, “I need- you- I need to-”
He turned, both of you lying on your sides, his hands keeping your thighs around his waist, and-
With desperate thrusts, he tried to reach the climax he hadn’t. He buried his face in your chest, glasses pressing against your skin as he kissed and sucked anywhere his mouth could reach. 
You grabbed his hair, shaky gasps each time his tongue teased your nipples or his cock reached deep. It was a lot, his pace relentless, but you wanted him to finish, so you let him continue.
“S-sorry, I need to- I want to cum so bad- P-please, I’m almost there- Nghh-!”
The sweet torture didn’t last long - not that you expected it to in the first place, his hips stuttering as he delivered a couple more deep hits. You looked down to see his face as he came. He went cross-eyed. Wow, you wished you had taken a picture.
He stayed with his arms around you for a bit, breathing heavily. You caressed the top of his head.
“Come up, give me a kiss,” you said softly.
He complied, moving his posture to face you. A gentle kiss, just lips, after which you both smiled.
“I really liked that,” you reassured him before he could apologize for anything.
“Me t-too. But…”
You covered his mouth with your hand.
“Are you about to put yourself down in any way?”
He raised his eyebrows, then shook his head. You moved your hand away.
“I just wanted to say… Well, I think it’s a bit unfair that I, uh, I came one more time than you did, so…”
“The score doesn’t always have to be ‘settled’,” you chuckled.
“I! I know that! But still, I want to… Y-you said yourself that… About me t-talking a lot…”
“You wanna eat me out that badly, huh.”
He flushed. Somehow he remained easily embarrassed.
“I’m curious to know how you taste.”
Maybe not that embarrassed.
“Open your mouth and stick out your tongue,” you nodded at him.
Confused, he followed your command. You spit. He closed his mouth, shocked. He acted offended, but you saw his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed it.
“That’s how I taste,” you laughed.
“Not- That’s not-! You know what I meant!” He huffed, the grip around you getting a little tighter.
“Hahaha, okay, okay, just teasing you. By all means, go right ahead. I would never say no to being eaten out.”
With your permission, he released you and pulled out, his dick now soft. He got up to throw away the condom while you positioned yourself on the bed, legs spread for him, pillows stacked under your upper back and head.
He crawled back on the bed and lied down on his stomach, face between your thighs, eyes darting wildly at the display before him. Seeing it was different from feeling it.
“Will you guide me like you did before?”
“Yeah, of course. Get a feel for it first, though.”
He nodded and swallowed.
“I didn’t expect you… To be… So wet…” His fingers traced your inner lips.
“I told you before.”
“Sure, but- I thought it was an exaggeration…” He licked his finger. No discernible reaction, until he realized you had watched him do that, then he turned redder.
“What’s the verdict? Do I taste good?” You smirked.
“A-ah, well- I didn’t really- I have to try more.”
“Smooth.”
This time he stuck out his tongue, flat, and licked up from your entrance to your clit. You trembled involuntarily.
“Like that?” He repeated the action.
“Y-yes, but, it’s not just that, you aren’t a dog-,” you gave him a look, but discarded the thought. Pet play might be too advanced for his first day. “You have suck, too. You can kiss if you want. Don’t bite, unless it’s on the thighs. And don’t focus on one specific spot, but every now and then you should definitely hone in on the clitoris,” you paused, “Is that confusing? Did I explain it more or less okay?”
“I’ll try to follow what you just said, but correct me if I do anything wrong.”
His arms wrapped around each of your thighs.
“Oh, and,” he kissed your clit, “that’s the clitoris, right?”
“Yes,” you smiled proudly at how far he’d come.
That smile faded fast as he dove right in and started sucking and licking like a starved man, running his tongue up and down, your expression morphing as your brow furrowed in pleasure.
His head moved up and down, lips pressing against every part of your cunt, tongue parting your folds. Just like you had told him, he made sure to stop at your clit, suck it and swirl his tongue around it before dragging it away and poking at your entrance, drinking all he could taste.
You bucked your hips towards him, gripping his hair with one hand and the sheets with the other. Your thighs pressed against his cheeks.
“Y-you can… Hahh… If you- Your nose-”
He understood what you meant, rubbing his nose to your clit as he sucked lower. His glasses fogged up at the heat. He took them off and threw them away to get a better angle.
They landed on the carpet, undamaged, but neither of you really cared.
His eyes moved up to you every now and then, though blurry, he tried his best to gauge your reaction, along with the little trembles of your legs. It was getting easier to understand what he had to do.
Still, he had some improvements to do. He pulled away for a moment to catch his breath, lips red and moist, a web of saliva connecting his mouth to your cunt. He licked his lips.
“Don’t stop,” you breathed.
“Sorry, sorry,” he quickly muttered before diving back in.
This time his movements were faster, his tongue flicking in all the right spots. One of his hands moved up to squeeze your breast, fondling it, small sounds of pleasure vibrating from his mouth to your core.
You grinded your hips back and forth, hissing. Nero was doing something similar against the mattress, his dick probably hard again. 
He sucked your clit sharply, and you threw your head back with a moan. 
“Fuck… Yes…”
He did it again.
“Mmnn! Nero, I’m so fucking close- Don’t slow down- ah!”
Far from it, he kept up the pace with heavy breaths, the hot air hitting your skin. Your fingers tightened their grip on both his hair and the sheets. Which, if it weren’t for the fact that he was neatly licking everything up, would have been stained with your wetness long ago.
“Yeah yeah yeah-” Your vision began to cloud as that familiar numbing sensation spread, almost, almost, right there.
Uncontrollable shivers ran along your body, your expression locked in a continuous gasp as you looked up, at the mirror, seeing - more than feeling - Nero kissing your inner thighs and up your stomach.
You slowly came down from the high. By the time he buried his face in your neck, you had regained control of your body and could wrap your arms around him.
“I have my verdict now,” he said with a cocky edge, “you taste good.”
You chuckled and patted his hair, ruffled from your grabbing and pulling.
“That means you’ll eat me often, then?”
He lost his cockiness, “I-If you want me to.”
You held him for a bit while an idea cooked in your mind. Would he be opposed? He didn’t seem very thrilled when he saw the strap on…
“Hey, are you up for one more thing? I know you were all about ‘settling the score’ or whatever, but I want to do something… It’ll be the last, I promise. We can go to bed after.”
“Uhm… Anything and everything you want to do is fine by me…”
“Riiight…” You gently pulled away from his embrace and got up.
As he saw you walk towards the basket, he felt a slight nervousness well up, but he calmed himself by believing you were just going to grab another condom. On the way there, you tossed him his glasses.
His vision now clear, he saw how wrong he was.
You lifted the strap and his face went white.
“You can’t be serious…”
“I am. You see, you were such a good boy eating me out and you did so well, that I think you deserve a prostate orgasm,” you said with a smile.
“I don’t- I don’t think I can, I’m able to… I…”
“If you don’t want to, that’s fine. We won’t! But if you’re just saying ‘no’ because it’s a new, weird experience, I’m asking you to be open minded.”
“Have... Have you done this before…?”
“What, peg a guy? Yes,” you shrugged.
He shook off the feelings of jealousy to instead focus on the fact that you knew what you were doing.
You picked up the lube - also in the basket - and walked up to the bed to sit next to him.
“Look at it. Your dick is a lot bigger and I can take it no problem.”
He turned red, “Well! That’s! I mean!”
To be fair, there were actually more sizes available, this one being the smallest, but you had buried them under the condoms and lube bottles so he wouldn’t see. A small mercy from you.
“Are you up for it or not?”
“Uhhh… Maybe I can, just like, try it for a second,” he avoids your gaze, fidgeting with his hands.
“Sure! Of course. If it’s uncomfortable, we stop.”
You pat the bed, “Get on all fours.”
“What!? Right away!?” He lowered his head.
“...I mean, what did you expect to happen first?”
“I don’t know! Can I get a kiss first.”
You giggled and leaned to kiss him. His hands cupped your face, and you felt him smile into the kiss.
“Better?”
“I guess.”
“Alright, I’m going to lube you up. I’ll use my fingers, so don’t get scared.”
“You’re gonna… Ah… Mhm…”
He positioned himself on all fours as you indicated, slightly relieved that at least he didn’t have to face you.
You squeezed some lube out on your fingers and took a gander at what you were working with. Okay, he was definitely tense.
“Breathe, Nero. My gosh.”
“Right, right, mhm.”
He wasn’t going to calm down much more, it was obvious, so instead of dragging it out, you simply decided to circle your finger around his hole and slowly push it in. No more than an inch deep.
The foreign sensation made his breath hitch.
“Am I hurting you?”
“N-no.”
“Do you want me to stop?”
“No…”
You pushed your index a bit further, coating his inner walls with the lube. You stopped once you figured you were deep enough.
“This is what I was talking about,” you warned him, before pressing down right on his prostate.
You saw his hands clutching the sheets as he gasped, then looked back over his shoulder.
“That’s…”
“Feels good, right?”
“Yeah…”
You retracted your finger and picked up the strap on to lube it up as well, coating its black silicone with your hands. Nero watched the whole process with his mouth dry.
“It’s about to feel a lot better than ‘good’, trust me.”
He nodded noncommittally, but deep down he was very curious after having felt just your finger.
You fastened the strap to your waist and thighs, making sure everything was properly tightened, and turned your attention back to him.
“You can still say no.”
“No, I, I’m okay.”
“Alright.”
You aligned the tip of the dildo with his hole, kneeling behind him. He looked away, heavily in disbelief that somehow this was happening - and worst of all - he was eager for it to happen.
The tip slid in easily thanks to the lube, a soft muffled sound coming from Nero, who now had one of his hands covering his mouth. You pushed a bit deeper, tentatively. Your hands found perch on each side of his waist, the touch causing goosebumps along his skin.
“You’re doing so well,” you praised.
Another inch. It was almost fully in. His posture was so rigid that he might as well have been a statue.
The final bit disappeared inside him, and you took a moment to let him adjust.
“How is it? How are you?”
He moved his hand away from his mouth, propping it against the mattress again.
“It’s a lot… But… It doesn’t feel bad, just weird.”
“That’s good. Can I move?”
“Yeah…”
With his permission, you slid it halfway out, and back in. Slowly.
“H-ah-”
One more time.
“Mmg-”
Faster.
“Oh-”
From tip to base.
“Ah!”
Seeing he could take it, you set the pace. In and out, every single hit dragging a new noise out of him.
Your hands on his waist, you began pulling him against you at the same time, lewd noises each time your hips met his ass. His knuckles turned white.
“Look at you, being so good,” you said in a singsongy voice, “arch that back for me.”
He did, whimpering at the way the strap felt in that posture.
“Good boy. Are you enjoying being fucked like this, Nero?”
“Y-ye-sssssgh…”
He was so far gone, and having done so little, too. It was going to be a delight when you used a bigger strap in the future.
Your thrusts turned harder, opting for impact instead of speed. Broken moans and whimpers fell from his lips. His arms trembled.
“You look so cute like this,” you leaned forward, wrapping a hand around his neck to make him face you.
He turned to you with half-lidded eyes and a permanent flush. You could practically see the heart-shaped pupils in his eyes, dazed and drunk. He felt like he was about to die from pleasure.
You felt him back up on you since you had stopped moving. You raised an eyebrow.
“What’s this, getting greedy?” You smirked.
“Pleaseee…” He whined, voice cracking.
“That good, huh,” you let go of his neck, “and you were so reluctant before.”
Both hands back on his waist, you rammed yourself inside him. He moaned loudly, but the sound got cut by yet another thrust, his voice carrying on and getting cut off repeatedly as you picked up the pace. 
Precum dripped on the mattress. You intended to jerk him off at the same time, although it didn’t seem necessary, so you focused on hitting his prostate at the right angle.
His arms gave out under him, barely holding himself together as he now lay face down and ass up - drooling.
“Hey,” you called out, “look- at- your- self-” you pointed up with your chin.
His eyes wandered up to the mirror, where he saw the utter mess he was, and how the strap slid in and out of him. The sight made his body tremble. You looked so hot.
“I’m gunn- gonna- aah… mmmh… going to- nngh! C-cum…”
“Yeah? Show- me. Cum- for- me,” you punctuated your words with thrusts.
He babbled incoherently, his legs shaking. His sounds got louder and louder, until he started pleading in broken syllables, and then- release.
Spurts of cum shot on the bed, his face buried against the mattress as he bit the sheets.
You moved for a bit longer to let him ride it out. When the whimpering turned into heaving gasps, you stopped. Gently, you pulled the strap out.
He collapsed on his side, fully spent.
“Very good. You did such a good job,” you leaned over and kissed his cheek.
He mumbled a reply.
You took off the strap and attempted to clean as much of the mess as you could. At that point it was better to change the sheets entirely, you realized.
Well, you weren’t a Hunter for nothing. You scooped Nero up bridal style and let him down gently on a chair while you changed the bed. He was flustered by the action, but not in the right state to complain.
After changing the sheets - there was a spare set in the closet - you went to the bathroom to grab a damp towel. You cleaned yourself first, then sat down next to Nero and helped him.
“Thanks…” Was all he could say.
You scooped him back up and laid him down on the bed before climbing in yourself.
“Want some water? Or anything?”
“No… I want… Sleep and cuddles…”
You chuckled, “we can absolutely do that.”
You turned off the lights and cozied up to him, gently taking his glasses and putting them on the nightstand. His arms wrapped around your waist, face buried in the crook of your neck.
The skin-to-skin contact, once arousing, now soothing, helped him drift off quite fast. You didn’t take much longer, sleep taking you in minutes.
An alarm woke you up the next morning. A song from the Super Hunters show. Nero’s alarm.
“Mmmh… Oh, no…” He got up, untangling himself from your warm embrace and running to turn it off.
You stirred, rubbing your eyes. Opening them, you saw him standing next to the bed, looking down at you.
“Hm? What…?” You said in a sleepy voice.
He chuckled and climbed back in, hugging you.
“Nothing. I just think my girlfriend looks very cute when she’s sleepy,” his voice was a little deeper in the morning.
You could already tell he was going to be the type of guy that showed off his girlfriend a lot. It made you smile, really.
“I think my boyfriend should have turned off his alarms,” you countered, poking his cheek.
“I’m so sorry,” he kissed right below your ear, “I forgot we were sleeping here together instead of being alone back home, and it slipped my mind.”
“Oooh, right, because we would have to drive all the way back from Linkon to WandererCon…”
“Yeah…”
“Do you have a lot planned for today?” You caressed his cheek, which he leaned into.
“I… I had plans… But… Uh…” His usual blush tinted his face.
“But?”
“We… The documents said we… Uhm, so, the room… Is booked until 5PM today… And I don’t feel like going to the convention today…”
Unbelievable. He wanted to spend the day here with you rather than gushing about Wanderers? Was he sick?
You blinked at him. He was a bit confused about your shocked reaction.
“Or, do you want to go?”
“No. No. I want to stay, I’m just surprised you want to stay. Are you sure? It only happens once a year, and I’m still going to be your girlfriend tomorrow.”
You knew this was important for him, so you wanted to make sure he knew what he was doing.
“Yes, I’m sure. Wanderers are still going to exist tomorrow, and I have you here now. It would be a waste not to enjoy your company.”
He kissed you, and kissed you, deep and loving, over and over.
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“How was the weekend?” Asked Tara when you arrived at work.
“Oh shit, I forgot to buy you something,” you palmed your forehead, “I’ll treat you to dessert for the rest of the week,” you sat on your office chair.
“Hahaha, it’s okay, but I’ll take you up on that offer,” she clapped giddily.
She rolled her chair closer.
“It must have been really interesting to attend, if you forgot about it. Was it cool?”
Just then, Nero arrived at the office. He walked up to your desk and placed a cup of coffee with a shy smile.
“Good morning, Tara!” He greeted, walking to his desk.
Tara scrunched up her brows in shock and leaned to whisper to you.
“Tell me what’s going on. Has reality been altered? I didn’t see this in my cards…”
“Uhm… Let’s just say… It was a busy weekend.”
Thank you for reading! Here's a little meme:
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xoxochb · 1 day ago
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feeling sentimental so can i get hcs of Jason meeting the fam for the first time for Christmas and like. them being really sweet and supportive (cause mine is) n yk ☹️☹️ idk i just want the best for him and also to introduce him to my family
— under the mistletoe, watching the fire glow ꣑ৎ‧₊˚.
♪ ༘⋆ on the radio… christmas tree farm by taylor swift!
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warnings: none just hcs! :) pairing: jason grace x gn! reader a/n: I’m not a big xmas girlie but I had so so much fun writing this I hope you like it ☺️
*ੈ🎄✩‧₊
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୨୧ okay, so we all know that jason was thrown to the wolves + his mother was a drunk so it could be assumed he never did celebrate holidays let alone christmas with his family or anyone at that.
୨୧ and you, on the other hand, had a loving family that always spent the holidays together.
୨୧ so when jason first told you he never celebrated christmas you were surprised (well not really but still yes) and offered for him to spend it with you and your family.
୨୧ he said yes, solely because you would be there, yet at the same time he was nervous to meet them.
୨୧ it took a lot of reassuring, but eventually you got him to fully agree so on december 25th you took him to your home to meet your family!
୨୧ and this didn’t mean he wasn’t still mortified that your family would hate him
୨୧ I mean it took, like, three mental breakdowns, five minor panic attacks, and loads of comforting words for him to relax.
୨୧ then eventually he calmed down at last.
୨୧ but, when you arrived at your home he found that your family was totally welcoming to him, and happily accepted him.
୨୧ the fondness of your family was nearly unbearable at first, because really you had been the only person who treated him as gently as they did.
୨୧ queue happiness-mental breakdown- part two…
୨୧ anyways, he’s totally got a death grip on your hand the whole day, like at some point you’ll leave and never return
୨୧ and it’s not like he’s scared of your family, it’s just that he likes the silent reassurance that you’re there with him
୨୧ let’s queue the scene now…
you attempt to stand up from your seat atop the couch, though when you stand, you find a hand chaining you from leaving. you turn around with a frown.
“jase… you gotta let go of my hand, angel.”
“how long will you be gone?” you feel his hand tighten around yours.
“I’m literally just going to the bathroom!”
“for how long?”
“I’m just peeing!”
୨୧ he lets you go, of course, because he wouldn’t like it if you wet the couch.
୨୧ n e ways… unsurprisingly, he gets long well with your family members, the same for them who are, by now, begging you to bring him back for every holiday.
୨୧ they may like him more than you…
୨୧ they don’t say it verbally… but there are signs… LOL
୨୧ (you do end up brining him back)
୨୧ and you’re 99% sure your parents begged him to put a ring on it so he’d officially be apart of the family.
୨୧ he’s not saying no to that
୨୧ but, overall, to wrap this up, by the end of the day, jason is pretty sure christmas is his new favorite holiday
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balkanradfem · 2 days ago
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So my roommate flopped. She moved her things in, and then I haven't seen her for a week. She didn't contact me either. I figured something went wrong, and that she's probably not going to live here, and then she called me, telling me she's moving out. Turns out that day after she moved in, she got fired, because she was an extra to the company, and she has to move back home with her parents.
I wasn't too upset because I did not enjoy her company at all, but, I did have to go back to searching for a roommate. The plant lady helped me this time, and she found a woman who needed to house an immigrant worker who worked for her – a woman from Nepal. I immediately said yes to this, because that is too cool, I would get to talk to her in english! And I would learn something about a foreign culture, I love that. Her employer came to see the place, and did not give me a good vibe. She asked if heating could be turned off to save on bills. I shut that down quickly, our heating is charged by the square meter. She told me very sternly to save as much as possible on utilities, which I already do, but then to also tell her employee to save up too. I didn't like that.
She came to move in the next day, and I was nervous. But then I saw her and she is so sweet! She struggles to speak english, but could understand what I was saying very well. So while she knew exactly what I was saying, I had to ask her to repeat things to me multiple times, sometimes missing the meaning because I couldn't grasp her accent. She asked me if I could teach her Croatian, and I said yes.
I took her to her workplace to show her the quickest route, and she told me that she has a working husband and two children, so she's working in here and sending her salary back home. Her mother is taking care of the kids because they're both working. She kept asking me if I'm married, or have a boyfriend, or children, and why not, and I could not put any nuance in my explanations, so I just said I liked freedom.
Then she asked me what age I was, and I already knew that we're the same age, because her employer told me she's 34 as well, but she didn't know my age, and was shocked when I said 34! She thought... she thought I was 17 T_T. It must be cultural differences because I do not look like a teen, I swear. I was wearing a silly hat, I think that must have done it.
I was showing her how to use everything in the kitchen and bathroom, and realized it's almost time for winter decorations; so I asked her what winter holidays she celebrated. She didn't know how to answer that, so I asked her if she celebrated hindu holidays, because I had read that 80% of Nepali people practiced hinduism. And she goes 'No, I'm Christian', and I'm like WHAT. What were the odds of that? So then I had to explain to her that I am the one out of two of us who doesn't celebrate Christmas, which is so funny, and ironic, but it's where we are. I'll put up a little tree anyway, I'll just say it's for the Winter Solstice.
I'm pleased with my new roommate. I made sure to learn to say her real name – she uses a simple made-up name because most Croats struggle to pronounce the real one. I'm constantly worrying she doesn't have all she needs so I am giving her gloves and clothing and letting her use my stuff until she has her own, but it's also fun for me to be able to interact with someone who came from so far away. All my experiences with foreign women are so nice! 
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felassan · 1 day ago
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Some snippets from DA dev Luke Barrett on the unofficial BioWare forum, cut for length:
DA:I -
User: "I am still convinced that Bioware cut the healing spells and went with barriers instead because of the Multiplayer." Luke Barrett: I can't speak to any other games directly but I can give a bit of historic context for DAI. The game was initially a more dungeon/linear delving - see how far you can get - experience and there was no barrier of any kind. As a side note: healing has always been a hot topic in design because as soon as you include it there are many other conceits you now need take into consideration for the gameplay - one of which I will call 'the Anders problem'. Anyway, as DAI got the date moved and shifted more into the pseudo-openworld the concept of attrition (see how far you can get before having to return to camp) became less relevant and we needed to help the Players have more moment-to-moment agency around their survival. Unfortunately for various reasons (one of which is the sad reality of designing a game with a shifting timeline) the healing couldn't be re-added so we ended up with more of a mitigation strategy in the barrier system. It went through a lot of iterations but eventually landed on what it shipped with which I would call... acceptable (but just barely). Now, I will concede that a part of the reason it didn't return after that shift was an aversion to holy trinity gameplay specifically for MP but it wasn't the core reason. As a side story, trying to balance the game (as that was my job on DAI - and yes, it could be much better haha) we had to all but force Players to take barrier. It is intentionally the first skill in the first tree for the Mage and all the autolevel (I also handled that) is designed to get it right away." [source]
User: "Merry Christmas Luke! Sooo what was the hardest class you had to balance? [DA:I]" Luke Barrett: "I feel like anyone who was around for the post-launch content will already know the answer to this as it was the bane of my existence when I got put exclusively on MP after launch but the Knight-Enchanter barrier absorbing was a pain. Stuff like that is very challenging to feel good without being broken as they are relative to damage so scaling is fairly open-ended. Too little and the casual players won't get use out of it, too much and the character builders will be wildly OP. We actually had a 'no nerfing' guideline for the SP side so it was a hard battle to fix that silly thing 🙃." [source]
"As a fun fact, I did all the logic for autolevel on DAI and the guideline I was given was literally "make functional builds, but don't make something optimal that you'd play"." [source]
DA:TV -
User: "If you can, say thanks to the people making the no die option possible." Luke Barrett: "Done! My team handles this stuff so I let them know 😊" [source]
"Comically, I designed the majority of the items and skills and I am still finding it fun making awesome builds (been almost entirely doing playthroughs lately" [source]
"Was really important to the team that everyone could play the way that felt best to them." [source]
"Each specialization has a focus around a few specific mechanics, some of which are the weapons or damage types but you can go off script and make it work for sure (this was intentional in the designs)." [source]
"I designed all the skills and so they're each enjoyable to me to some extent. I have been playing through the game over and over the last couple months for balance purposes so I've played them all fairly extensively." [source]
User: "Necrotic sounds like it could be either Spirit or Nature." User: "For Rogue, it replace "poison". For Mage, it replace spirit (Spirit bomb). For Warrior, it's more spirit (especially Reaper), but some skills could work as poison too. So basically they merged spirit and nature." Luke Barrett: "Thats pretty close to spot on. They were actually heavily iterated on throughout development - I can't (at least currently) go into specifics as to why though." [source]
"the target for the progression vision is that you can make a viable build out of almost** any aspect of the gameplay." [source]
"As for timelines, We started DA4 in October of 2015 roughly. The entire team was moved to MEA for about 3-4 months to help it ship and I also spent all of 3 weeks helping out on Anthem. But otherwise I've been on some incarnation of DA4 for about 9 years now - pretty ready for it to release 😅." [source]
"yes, years of working on the same thing can cause some burnout but I've played through the full game probably about 8 times in the last few months and it's still fun (though some of the specific levels that haven't changed in a long time I've done 50+ times easily and I could do without ever seeing them again 😂)." [source]
User: "I do kind of feel that at this point the DA team has put so much work into creating and improving their tools and learning the ins and outs of Frostbite [...] But who knows what the devs in the trenches really feel" Luke Barrett: "I will say it does some things very well and some things poorly, relative to other engines. Personally I really enjoy Frostbite but I've been using it since 2012. In an ideal world, many engines would be viable and developers would make games suited to the strengths of a specific engine." [source]
User: "Since this game is much more stat heavy than prior titles, specifically when it comes to skills and gear, there's likely a need for some balance changes to be made post-launch. Does the game being playable completely offline hinder the data capture side for your team (in terms of analytics), or is this a non-factor?" Luke Barrett: "Generally speaking, most people leave data analytics on so we get more than enough data coming in. Additionally, I'll personally be watching several channels for things that are underperforming (relatively speaking) and not have to nerf anything. The rpg side is vast though and I'm sure people will find OP combinations/synergies that might need 'adjustments' but as long as it's fun and not an "I win" button that trivializes combat I'm pretty cool with it." [source]
Luke Barrett: "I can safely say there are many builds for each class that will feel very powerful if you're not on the highest difficulty 😉. What I'm really excited for is when the guides comes out that show people the fastest way to get some of the uniques that unlock 'special' gameplay 😊. Let's just say I love the feeling of rushing to Patches in DS1 and kicking him off the bridge for the Crescent Axe (iykyk)." [source] User: "Speaking of guides. Will there be a guidebook like there was for DAI? " Luke Barrett: "Not that I'm aware of but I'm happy to help feed info to somewhere like fextralife or the dragon age wiki after a week or so to help with those pursuits. Have to leave some time for exploration and discovery before the optimizers streamline the experience 😉" [source]
"Effectively, at least until the game launches (and likely a week or so after), you won't get anything interesting out of any of the devs save Mike Gamble or John Epler. Longer term I hope to be very active, at least for build mechanics and all the combat/rpg nuts and bolts conversations." [source]
"I started "da4" in October 2015 and so after 9 years of effort (minus 3 months on Andromeda) I'm quite excited for tomorrow and the launch week. I don't know if I'd say nervous, I feel pretty confident in the product, but definitely that eager kid before Christmas feeling 😊" [source]
"As the person who did all the balance, I will say that if you are comprehending how to make a cohesive build and understand the combat mechanics, you should play on Underdog. One of the downsides to having a lot of power growth vectors is the difference between people who engage vs those that don't becomes a chasm quite quickly. If you start blowing enemies up rapidly, turn up the difficulty (or play on nightmare where that will not be the case) - basically if it ever feels super easy or like enemies are health sponges you're probably on the wrong setting for your skill level. The custom difficulty settings are there to make the gameplay enjoyable (for whatever that means to you)." [source]
"As a tip from me, the balance is subtly tipped in the players favor until the last fight of the 3rd combat mission. Be warned if it's feeling too easy you may want to wait until after that to decide." [source]
[on DA MP] Luke Barrett: "It was actually pretty fun but very much not what most people wanted us to make (including internally). Also we had, let's say, limited staff who had a passion and background in MP so it was definitely the right call to go SP only. Now, it would have been nice had we just started that way but so it goes sometimes." [source] User: "You still play it yourself from time to time (DA MP), or have you left it be?" Luke Barrett: "After playing variations of DA4 for so many years (9!!!) it's hard to go back to anything with DAI controls/gameplay speed. Even the initial Joplin prototypes I was doing were much more snappy/twitchy - for everything good about DAI the combat was definitely in the middle of two different styles." [source]
[on aiming bows] "we actually used to have separate buttons for ADS and ranged attack but it was wildly overloading the controller. These RPG games need controllers with at least 2 more buttons (fingers crossed for the next gen)" [source]
User: "After the last few games, I'm really surprised by the current skill... tree?" Luke Barrett: "I call it a skill graph - aside from the beginning where you have 3 choices the entirety of it is 2 choice splits and it'll essentially make a build for you. Just go a little at a time and aim for whatever specialization seems most fun to you 😄" [source]
"Loot is not random so theoretically guides with drop locations should appear pretty soon." [source]
"Yep, Spellblade is the only spec that directly impacts fire damage but you can get benefits from most of them and still go fire. As for the specs, yes it would have been nice to support all of them but just wasn't in scope unfortunately. Mage has Mourn-Watch, Shadow Dragons, and Antivan Crows specializations - only the Rogue has a Veiljumper one. Deathcaller left side you can go beam based and use a Fire weapon. Evoker you'd likely need to do a hybrid ice/fire build." [source]
User: "Bit of a side question, but for those who intend to make more characters, is BioWare considering upping the amount of playable character slots you can have (currently at 3)? Or is there a hardware restriction here given the game is offline playable?" Luke Barrett: "Don't quote me as I don't handle the technical side of this but my understanding is we have to allocate a specific amount of HD space on the consoles so we basically have to pick a limit, relative to our save file sizes, and then divide that by number of careers. I'll inquire if this is something we can increase with an optional download or something but I suspect consoles are stuck that way, unfortunately." [source]
[on Patch 1] "It's been awhile since I actually did the content for this patch so I'd have to check but I have a pretty anti-nerf policy for SP games. I know I fixed up a couple enemies that weren't as hard as they were supposed to be and definitely boosted a bunch of synergistic things though. I'll take a look tomorrow but for those that don't know, the turnaround time on these things is about a month of it's not an emergency due to certification process with consoles. Longer term my goal is to keep an eye in telemetry of any underused abilities and items (or enemies with too many kills under their belt) and audit them just to double check if they need a boost or if people just haven't figured them out yet 😉." [source]
"The equippable items are all predetermined with a minor exception*. Some items are class specific (all the weapons, a small amount of armors and accessories, 2 runes) so when you play a different class you'll see your classes 'version' of that item. Things that are random (from a table/pool) are valuables. Exception: Near the very end of the game we do a few checks on what equipment you haven't acquired. A bunch of those final drops, and inventory on the final merchant, simply find stuff you don't have and give it to you. That's basically the only major RNG we have with loot. If you notice even 99% of the skills and item mods employ an effect after a condition is met X times rather than a more traditional 'proc chance'." [source]
[on modding] "Once this starts to pick up, feel free to PM me if anyone needs help 'finding' assets or has questions about how one might mod something. We don't officially support mods buuuuut we don't have any kind of anti-modding stance either" [source]
"To give the high level gist of the resource economy: - each class starts off with minimal ability usage, this is intentional to force people to learn the other combat mechanics as they're a necessary skill and it's easy to lean on a crutch like ability spam and kiting - abilities are designed to feel powerful on use, thus they all have a decent cost and can't be spammed* - weapon attacks generate your resource - in the bottom right of the center skills area is a node to make each class's resource easier to manage - halfway down all starting segments (N, SW, SE) there is always a node that boosts generation - there are +max nodes on all sides of the skill graph for each class, this is particularly important for the Mage as they start each fight at max - each class can build into being ability focused but starts intentionally rounded - loastly, the first ability is always a resource spender and 1 or 2 of the next available ones will be cooldown gated. It is recommended to have at least one cooldown based ability slotted" [source]
"So loosely the rogue momentum works like this: - each ability costs 50 momentum - hitting enemies generates ~2 momentum per hit (base), you get extra for bow weakpoints - when you are directly hit, you lose 15% of your current momentum, this means the more you hold the more you will lose (this loss has a small cooldown so you don't lose a whole bar when you get hit rapidly) - momentum carries forward between combats (compared to warrior rage which decays when out of combat) If youre having issues, make sure you get that skill in the middle section that reduces momentum loss when hit. As a helpful tip, the Quicken buff generates small amounts of momentum each second so it's a good way to get more if you're having issues." [source]
"I highly recommend using the belt that grants Quicken early game until you can generate momentum faster yourself. And yes, the time dilation affects everything in the world except the Player so all your buffs and things still tick at normal speed" [source]
User: "If I knock an enemy off an edge, if they were supposed to drop something will it appear on the edge, or is it lost for good?" Luke Barrett: "It should appear on the ledge. I will say the 'real' loot from enemy drops are all hand placed. The actual random stuff is just valuables and materials." [source]
" The way it actually works is very complicated with a lot of necessary exceptions but loosely - each ability has a base damage and ones that hit multiple times have an offset multiplier. - That value is multiplied by the sum of all your stat bonuses, conditional bonuses, resist and layer modifiers. - We then subtract enemy defense and multiply by 1-resist (with penetration being calculated here). - this new damage then gets multiplied by 1+crit+weakpointpoint (so those bonuses always feel meaty) and then multiplied by a random number between .95 and 1.05 just to give a little range to the floaties (basically just a presentation thing) - we then multiply again for buffs and debuffs so they, again, always feel meaningful - lastly, we take all added damage and add it flat on top" [source]
"Specific enhancements make enemies immune to the matching affliction. For example, Fire Enchanted enemies are immune to burning. Juggernaut enemies are immune to being staggered but otherwise it should work in everything." [source]
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