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tavolgisvist · 4 months ago

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Paul and Ringo's conflict in 1969/70

SG: Then, what happened? You finally got to meet with John and Yoko, and there was an all-night session at the Dorchester hotel. And something happened in that all-night session at the Dorchester that totally won their allegiance to you. AK: John said, listen, the Beatles are represented by the Eastmans, will you represent me and Yoko? SG: The Beatles’ legal affairs were represented by the Eastmans? AK: You see, you have to read that piece of paper. SG: The piece of paper the Eastmans had with the boys? AK: Oh yes. All signed. SG: All of them signed it? AK: Yes. And Apple. It never used the word management, but it didn’t have to. If you represent all the negotiations throughout the world of Apple and the Beatles, you have it. The import of that particular piece of document was that everything would have to flow through them.

(Allen Klein, 1980, interview with Peter Brown and Steven Gaines, All You Need Is Love, 2024)

John comes into the office and says, ‘Don’t care about the others, don’t give a shit … but I’m having Klein, he can have all of my stuff and get it sorted out.’

(Derek Taylor, As Time Goes By, 1973)

AK: …We were just trying to get to know one another… Lennon and Yoko, I would rather not say what won them over for me. I would think that a principal thing was the fact that they really wanted someone for themselves. Apart from the Beatles. That’s really what it was. John is a very practical human being and the conflict was there, and it was his band and he was losing control, and he didn’t want to. He wanted to be protected. It was as simple as that. That first evening that I met with John, he said, “Do you want to represent us?” I said yeah.

(Allen Klein, 1980, interview with Peter Brown and Steven Gaines, All You Need Is Love, 2024)

When the four of us entered into our partnership agreement in 1967, we did not consider the exact wording or give any thought to the agreement's legal implications. We had thought that if one of us wanted to leave the group he would only have to say so. On the way in which the four of us had sorted out our differences in the past, I deny that it had been on a three-to-one basis. If one disagreed, we discussed the problem until we reached agreement or let the matter drop. I know of no decision taken on a three-to-one basis. I deny that the Eastmans and I obstructed Mr. Allen Klein in the preparation of accounts. Nor had the Eastmans been contenders for the job of manager for the group. I wanted them as managers but when the rest of the group disagreed, had not pressed the matter. Mr. Lennon had challenged my statement that Mr. Klein had sowed discord within the group, but I recall a telephone conversation in which Mr. Klein had told me, "You know why John is angry with you? It is because you came off better than he did on Let It Be.' Mr. Klein also said to me, 'The real trouble is Yoko. She is the one with ambition.' I often wonder what John would have said if he heard the remark.

(From Paul McCartney’s affidavit, Feb 26 1971, The Beatles Diary. Volume 2. After The Break Up. 1970-2001. Keith Badman)

I was very upset when they said I was just trying to bring in Lee Eastman, because he’s my in-law. As if I’d just bring in a member of the family, for no reason. They’d known me twenty years, yet they thought that. I couldn’t believe it. John said, ‘Magical Mystery Tour was just a big ego trip for Paul.’ God. It was for their sake, to keep us together, keep us going, give us something new to do…

(Paul McCartney, Private Call with Hunter Davies, May 1981)

Klein keeps saying that I don’t like him because I want Eastman to manage the Beatles,’ he said. ‘Well, this is how it really happened. I thought, and still think, that Linda’s father would have been good for us all. And I decided I wanted him. But all the others wanted Klein. Well, all right, they can have Klein, but I don’t see that I have to agree with them. ‘I don’t think I need a manager in the old sense that Brian Epstein was our manager. All I want are paid advisers, who will do what I want them to do. And that’s what I’ve got. If the others want Klein, well, that’s up to them, but I’ve never signed a contract with him. He doesn’t represent me. I’m sure Eastman is better for me.

(Paul McCartney, interview, Evening Standard, April 21-22, 1970)

In fact, there was one classic little meeting when we were recording Abbey Road. It was a Friday evening session, and I was sitting there, and I’d heard a rumor from Neil or someone that there was something funny going around. So we got to the session, and Klein came in. To me, he was like a sort of demon that would always haunt my dreams. He got to me. Really, it was like I’d been dreaming of him as a dentist. He came round to the session, and he said, “I gotta have this thing signed, I gotta get you guys on a contract,” and then so I said, “Wait a minute, c’mon, it’s Friday night, what’s the hurry? Give us the thing over the weekend, and we’ll let ya know Monday?” Fair enough? And everyone said, “Uh-huh, there he goes.” ... John said, ��Oh, fucking hell, here you go, stalling again.” I said, “I’m not stalling, I want it checked out. It’s a big movement, going with a new manager, you know, and maybe we don’t want to go with this guy. What’s the hurry? Why can’t he wait?”

(Paul McCartney, 1980 - All You Need Is Love: The End of the Beatles by Peter Brown and Steven Gaines, 2024)

‘Security is the only thing I want. Money to do nothing with, money to have in case you wanted to do something.’

(Paul McCartney (1964) in Love Me Do! The Beatles’ Progress by Michael Braun, 1964/1995)

They said, “Oh no, typical of you, all that stalling and what. Got to do it now.” I said, “Well, I’m not going to. I demand at least the weekend. I’ll look at it, and on Monday. This is supposed to be a recording session, after all.” I dug me heels in, and they said, right, well, we’re going to vote it. I said, “No, you’ll never get Ringo to.” I looked at Ringo, and he kind of gave me this sick look like, Yeah, I’m going with them.Then I said, “Well, this is like bloody Julius Caesar, and I’m being stabbed in the back!” It’s the first time you realize in our whole relationship that whenever we voted, we never actually had come to that point before—three were going to vote one down. That was the first time, and they all signed it, they didn’t need my signature.

(Paul McCartney, 1980 - All You Need Is Love: The End of the Beatles by Peter Brown and Steven Gaines, 2024)

Steve Miller happened to be there recording, late at night, and he just breezed in. ‘Hey, what’s happening, man? Can I use the studio?’ ‘Yeah!’ I said. ‘Can I drum for you? I just had a fucking unholy argument with the guys there.’ I explained it to him, took ten minutes to get it off my chest. So I did a track, he and I stayed that night and did a track of his called My Dark Hour. I thrashed everything out on the drums. There’s a surfeit of aggressive drum fills, that’s all I can say about that. We stayed up until late. I played bass, guitar and drums and sang backing vocals. It’s actually a pretty good track. It was a very strange time in my life and I swear I got my first grey hairs that month. I saw them appearing. I looked in the mirror, I thought, I can see you. You’re all coming now. Welcome.

(Paul McCartney in Many Years From Now by Barry Miles, 1997)

The nature of The Beatles’ management deal with Allen Klein remains a source of annoyance to McCartney: “I kept saying, ‘Don’t give Allen Klein 20 per cent, give him 15, we’re a big act!’ And everyone’s going, ‘No, no, he wants 20 per cent’. I say, ‘Of course he does, he wants 30, really, but give him 15. It’s like buying a car. You don’t give the guy what he asks for.’ But it was impossible in the end, because it became three to one and I was like the idiot in the corner – trying, I thought, to save the situation.” “And to Klein it looked like I was trying to screw the situation. He used to call me the Reluctant Virgin. I said ‘Fuck off, I don’t want to fucking marry you, that’s all.’ He’s going, ‘Oh, you know, he may, maybe he will, will he, won’t he, that’s a definite maybe.’

(Paul McCartney, Dec 2003, interview with Paul Du Noyer for The Word)

Q: He was once quoted in New York magazine as saying he was going to roast your ass. А: Yeah, well, he never did, you know, and that’s cool. He wouldn’t get near my ass to roast it, anyway. Punk.

(Paul McCartney, Jan 1974, interview with Paul Gambaccini for Rolling Stone)

[Allen] Klein came to London with the sole objective of closing the deal, and having had an unsuccessful meeting with Paul in the morning, he left for Heathrow to return home to New York. Paul and I were working together in Olympic that afternoon, and there was a noticeable sense of relief when he heard that Klein had left for the airport. However, Klein had second thoughts about leaving and decided to have one more attempt at changing Paul’s mind face-to-face. Unannounced, Klein walked into the studio, and very quickly it became apparent that as voices were raised a private conversation was taking place. I turned off all the mics in the room and left them to it. The control room of a studio is isolated from the recording room where the musicians play, but even all that acoustic treatment was not enough to prevent me hearing Paul McCartney defend himself against Allen Klein’s attempt at bullying him into submission. It was extremely unpleasant to witness.

(Glyn Johns, Sound Man: A Life Recording Hits with the Rolling Stones, the Who, Led Zeppelin, the Eagles, Eric Clapton, the Faces…, 2014)

I never much liked authority. I didn't like school teachers or critics telling me what I could do. Or myself telling me. I'm alive - do it!

(Paul McCartney, March 2001, interview with Nicci Gerrard for the Observer)

And the thing is, of course, you know that when you’ve got a daddy, it is nice. If you’re a little bit sort of worried as to what to do next, and your daddy says, [claps hands] “What are you worried about? Hey John, what do you want, son? You want a house? [claps hands] You got it.”

(Paul McCartney, November 11th, 1971, interview with Chris Charlesworth for Melody Maker)

They talk Klein’s script. John Lennon once said to Allen Klein, “So what do I do now, Allen?” You know, I mean, these are all – I’d say there are certain little things, you know, and… brought together in one big thing, it does look a bit sort of heavily that way. It’s not [inaudible]. But it’s all true, you know. It’s not… John did say that. And it indicates something that he’s just turned to Allen and said, “Well, what do I do now?” And that’s the kind of role that Klein is playing for them all now.

(Paul McCartney, November 11th, 1971, interview with Chris Charlesworth for Melody Maker)

The build-up is the thing — All these things continuously happening making me feel like I’m a junior with the record company, like Klein is the boss and I’m nothing. Well, I’m a senior. I figure my opinion is as good as anyone’s, especially when it’s my thing. And it’s emotional. You feel like you don’t have any freedom. I figured I’d have to stand up for myself eventually or get pushed under.

(Paul McCartney, 1970, interview with Richard Merryman for Life Magazine, published in April 16 1971)

When the Beatles were falling apart in 1969, he suffered from depression – staying in bed, forgoing shaving, drinking too much, taking consolation in little beyond his marriage to Linda Eastman.

(Paul McCartney, Nov 2013, interview with Jonah Weiner for Rolling Stones)

PAUL: As far as I was concerned, yeah, I would have liked the Beatles never to have broken up. I wanted to get us back on the road doing small places, then move up to our previous form and then go and play. Just make music, and whatever else there was would be secondary. But it was John who didn’t want to. He had told Allen Klein the new manager he and Yoko had picked late one night that he didn’t want to continue. … PAUL: And he said, “I wasn’t going to tell you until after I signed the Capitol thing, but I’m leaving the group.” And that was really it. The cat amongst the pigeons. … PAUL: We weren’t going to say anything about it for months, for business reasons. But the really hurtful thing to me was that John was really not going to tell us. I think he was heavily under the influence of Allen Klein. And Klein, so I heard, had said to John – the first time anyone had said it – “What does Yoko want?” So since Yoko liked Klein because he was for giving Yoko anything she wanted, he was the man for John. That’s my theory on how it happened.

(Paul and Linda McCartney, interview for Playboy, December 1984)

For the first time in my life, I was on the scrap heap, in my own eyes. An unemployed worker might have said, “Hey, you still have the money. That’s not as bad as we have it.” But to me, it didn’t have anything to do with money. It was just the feeling, the terrible disappointment of not being of any use to anyone anymore. It was a barreling, empty feeling that just rolled across my soul, and it was… I’d never experienced it before. Drugs had shown me little bits here and there – they had rolled across the carpet once or twice, but I had been able to get them out of my mind. In this case, the end of the Beatles, I really was done in for the first time in my life. Until then, I really was a kind of cocky sod. It was the first time I’d had a major blow to my confidence. When my mother died, I don’t think my confidence suffered. It had been a terrible blow, but I didn’t feel it was my fault.

(Paul and Linda McCartney, interview for Playboy, December 1984)

“At a certain point I asked myself, ‘Are you going to sit around doing nothing, or are you going to make some music again?’ So I’d be at home sitting around, doing something on guitar, and Linda would say, ‘Oh, I didn’t know you could do that!’ Then I’d be drumming – ‘I didn’t know you could do that!’ So I got back into it just to impress Linda, really. I wanted to prove my usefulness again.”

(Paul McCartney, Nov 2013, interview with Jonah Weiner for Rolling Stones)

"The thing about Paul," George says, "is that apart from the personal problem of it all, he's having a wonderful time. He's going riding and he's got horses and he's got a farm in Scotland and he's happier with his family. And I can dig that."

(George Harrison, 1970, interview with Al Aronowitz)

Paul was already thinking about recording again. Never happy unless he was making music andwiththe Beatles not functioning, probably extinct, Paul began recording tracks for a solo album… Paul had been given a release date by Neil Aspinall [April 10, 1970 at first and April 17 later when Paul agreed to one week delay for help sales of Ringo Starr’s album “Sentimental Journey“, scheduled to be released on March 27] and he built the project around meeting the various deadlines that entailed: handing in a final mix tape, designing and proofing the cover art, approving test pressings and so on. Working with the artist Gordon House and the designer Roger Huggett, whom he still uses, Paul and Linda put the entire thing together at home. Paul: "I was feeling quite comfortable, the more I went on like this. I could actually do something again. Then I rang up Apple one day and said, "Still okay for the release date?" and they said, "No, we're changing it. You got put back now. We're going to release Let It Be first.""

(Paul McCartney, Many Years From Now by Barry Miles)

GEORGE: "But it's more of a personal thing, you know. That's down to the management situation, you know, with Apple. Because Paul, really - It was his idea to do Apple, and once it started going Paul was very active in there. And then it got really chaotic and we had to do something about it. When we started doing something about it, obviously Paul didn't have as much say in the matter, and then he decided… you know, because he wanted Lee Eastman his in-laws to run it and we didn't. Then that's the only reason, you know. That's the whole basis. But that's only a personal problem that he'll have to get over because that's… The reality is that he's out-voted and we're a partnership. We've got these companies which we all own 25 percent of each, and if there's a decision to be made then, like in any other business or group you have a vote, you know. And he was out-voted 3 to 1 and if he doesn't like it, it's really a pity…"

(George Harrison, May 1th 1970, interview with Howard Smith at WABC-FM radio in New York City)

Paul: They eventually sent Ringo round to my house at Cavendish with a message: "We want you to put your release date back, it's for the good of the group" and all of this sort of shit, and he was giving me the party line, they just made him come round, so I did something I'd never done before, or since: I told him to get out. I had to do something like that in order to assert myself because I was just sinking. Linda was very helpful, she was saying, "Look, you don't have to take this crap, you're a grown man, you have every bit as much right …" I was getting pummelled about the head, in my mind anyway.

(Paul McCartney, Many Years From Now by Barry Miles)

Dear Paul, we thought a lot about yours and the Beatles LPs – and decided it’s stupid for Apple to put out two big albums within 7 days of each other (also there’s Ringo’s and Hey Jude) – so we sent a letter to EMI telling them to hold your release date til June 4th (there’s a big Apple-Capitol convention in Hawaii then). We thought you’d come round when you realized that the Beatles album was coming out on April 24th. We’re sorry it turned out like this – it’s nothing personal. Love John & George. Hare Krishna. A Mantra a Day Keeps MAYA Away.

(The letter from John and George to Paul, March 31th, 1970)

As a director of Apple, he had had to sign a letter that he wrote with John ordering Paul not to release his McCartney album on a day that would conflict with the release of the next Beatles record, Let It Be. When the letter was finished, Ringo had volunteered to deliver it because he didn't want Paul to suffer the indignity of having it handed to him by some impersonal messenger. At Paul's house, he gave the letter to Paul and said, "I agree with it."

(George Harrison, 1970, interview with Al Aronowitz)

“I went to see Paul. To my dismay, he went completely out of control, shouting at me, prodding his fingers towards my face, saying: 'I’ll finish you now’ and 'You’ll pay.’ He told me to put my coat on and get out. I did so.”

(Ringo, during 1971 Beatles court proceedings)

Ringo Starr said in his statement: “Paul is the greatest bass guitarist in the world.” But he added that he thought Paul had behaved like a spoiled child.

(Daily Mirror, February 24, 1971 - about the third day of the Court Case for the dissolution of The Beatles’ contractual partnership)

Then he had to stand there while both Paul and his wife, Linda, screamed at him. When Ringo returned from delivering the letter, he was so drained his face was white.

(George Harrison, 1970, interview with Al Aronowitz)

[John Lennon and George Harrison] didn’t send me round. They, as directors of the company, wrote a letter to him, and I didn’t think it was fair that some office lad should take something like that around. I was talking to the office, and they were telling me what was going on, and I said, ‘Send it up, I’ll take it round’. I couldn’t fear him then. But he got angry, because we were asking him to hold his album back and the album was very important to him. He shouted and pointed at me. He told me to get out of his house. He was crazy; he went crazy. He was out of control, prodding his finger towards my face. He told me to put my coat on and get out. I couldn’t believe it was happening. I had just brought the letter. I said, ‘I agree with everything that’s in the letter’, because we tried to work it like a company, not as individuals. I put my album [Sentimental Journey] out two weeks before [released 27 March 1970, in compliance with the original schedule], which makes me seem like such a good guy, but it wasn’t really, because I needed to put it out before Paul’s album, else it would have slayed me!

(Ringo Starr, 1971, from “The Beatles: Off the Record” by Keith Badman)

‘Strictly speaking we all have to ask each other’s permission before any of us does anything without the other three. My own record nearly didn’t come out because Klein and some of the others thought it would be too near to the date of the next Beatles album. I had to get George, who’s a director of Apple, to authorise its release for me. ‘Give us our freedom which we so richly deserve.

(Paul McCartney, April 21-22, 1970, Interview for the Evening Standard)

On the radio, they're playing Paul's album now. George may be the youngest of the Beatles but his attitude toward Paul is the same as a big brother trying to wait out a kid's tantrum because the kid can't get the candy he wants. He talks about the last time Paul spoke to him on the phone. "He came on like Attila the Hun," George says. "I had to hold the receiver away from my ear." It was as if the whole world was waiting for Paul's album and George was standing in its way. "I don't want to say anything bad about Paul," George laughs, "but I can be egged on."

(George Harrison, 1970, interview with Al Aronowitz)

From my point of view, I was getting done in. All the decisions were now three against one. And that’s not the easiest position if you’re the one: anything I wanted to do they could just say, ‘No.’ And it was just to be awkward, I thought. … I got so fed up with all this I said, ‘OK, I want to get off the label.’ Apple Records was a lovely dream, but I thought, ‘Now this is really trashy and I want to get off.’ I remember George on the phone saying to me, ‘You’ll stay on this fucking label! Hare Krishna!’ and he hung up – and I went, ‘Oh, dear me. This is really getting hairy.’

(Paul McCartney, The Beatles Anthology, 2000)

PAUL: I didn't want to do a press conference to launch the album because whenever I'd meet a journalist, they always floored me with one question: they'd say, "Are you happy?"' and it almost made me cry. I just could not say, "Yes. I'm happy," and lie through my teeth, so I stopped doing interviews. Peter Brown, who was at Apple at that time, said, "What are you going to do about publicity?"' I said, "I don't really want to do any." He said, "It's a new album. You'll kill it. Nobody'll even know it's out at all. You should do something." I said "Well, how do you suggest we do it?"' He said, "Maybe a questionnaire?"' I said, "Okay, look, you write some questions that you think the press wants to know. Send 'em over to me and I'll fill it out but I can't face a press conference." So the questionnaire came, and Peter Brown realised that the big question was the Beatles so he put in a couple of loaded questions and rather that just say, "I don't want to answer these," I thought, Fuck it. If that's what he wants to know, I'll tell him. I felt I'd never be able to start a new life until I'd told people.

(Paul McCartney, Many Years From Now by Barry Miles)

It is 1970. Paul still doesn’t like Klein but John digs him more than ever and George digs him more than that and Ringo doesn’t mind him. Paul? He is so uptight about Klein he only leaves the Beatles, that’s all. Klein and me meet the press and TV and all that; together we sit on a sofa and talk about Paul. Mr Klein, why doesn’t Paul like you? Mr Taylor, why doesn’t Paul like Mr Klein? I don’t know, don’t ask me, man, don’t ask me. Paul releases his album and Klein releases the Beatles’ album and they both make a million and Klein has had Phil Spector remix Paul’s song ‘The Long and Winding Road’, adding a women’s choir and some violins etc. Paul thinks this is the shittiest thing anyone has ever done to him and that is saying something, but Klein laughs up his silk sleeve and releases ‘Long and Winding Road’ as a single anyway and still with Phil’s new arrangement. Up there in Scotland, Paul McCartney, one of the four owners of Apple, the company formed to give total freedom, artistic control, to struggling performers and writers, wonders what went wrong, when even he can’t control his own work.

(Derek Taylor, As Time Goes By, 1973)

Q: "The album was not known about until it was nearly completed. Was this deliberate?" A: "Yes, because normally an album is old before it even comes out. (A side) Witness 'Get Back.'" … Q: "Is it true that neither Allen Klein nor ABKCO have been nor will be in any way involved with the production, manufacturing, distribution or promotion of this new album?" A: "Not if I can help it." Q: "Did you miss the other Beatles and George Martin? Was there a moment when you thought, 'I wish Ringo were here for this break?'" A: "No."

(Paul McCartney, April 9th 1970, press release 'McCartney')

Derek Taylor, the Beatles' press officer, is with us, talking about how unexpected Paul's attack had been. "He was only supposed to write out information explaining how he made the album,? Derek says. "Instead, he hands us this interview in which he asks himself questions, such as would he miss Ringo? It was entirely gratuitous. Nobody asked him that question. He asked that question of himself."

(George Harrison, 1970, interview with Al Aronowitz)

We’re beginning now to only call each other when we have bad news. The other day Ringo came around to see me with a letter from the others, and I called him everything under the sun. But it’s all business. I don’t want to fall out with Ringo. I like Ringo. I think he’s great. We’re all talking about peace and love, but really we’re not feeling peaceful at all. ‘There’s no one who’s to blame. We were fools to get ourselves into this situation in the first place. But it’s not a comfortable situation for me to work in as an artist.’

(Paul McCartney, April 21-22, 1970, Interview for the Evening Standard)

We all started on a bus and small clubs and things like that, but Paul is that type of person. Paul wanted to do it all over again, and he did. And he went through hell. He went through hell. I mean, now he’s not talking to me and that’s too bad, but he started again from the bottom to do the Paul McCartney show. I don’t wanna do it anymore. I did it once.

(Ringo Sarr, 1980, interview with Peter Brown and Steven Gaines, All You Need Is Love, 2024)

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sreidx-hotchner · 2 days ago

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50 shades of Hotchner Aaron Hotchner

The billionaire’s Anchor will be out Feb 14th-25 part two

♡ ︎ Summary , “You get the chance to interview the the billionaire who is the unit chief agent Aaron Hotchner who owns the BAU in end up falling for him but that doesn’t happen till part two/three this is your part of the story , part two will be his story . It’ll all fall in to place .

♡︎ Paring fem!reader ! Aaron Hotchner

♡︎ This is IB the trilogy of 50 shades of gray

—♡︎—♡︎—Headlines —♡︎—♡︎—♡︎— Reader is a college student small age gape .. Studies english literature —Reader is beautiful intelligent not really upper class not lower class either She has little trauma with an Ex . Also she is an intern with Vogue magazine.

Mr Hotchner is a billionaire unit chief agent that owns the BAU headquarters in this scenario he’s has never been Married This is based off the fifty shades but it’s in a different AU . Was talking with @hoe4hotchner About this one . Your name for the best friend in this fic is Ib :) 🫶🏻💕

♡︎ Content hurt/Comfort/slow burn emotional/angst

♡︎ Content warning trauma with an ex Drinking is mentioned but not consumed anxiety slow burn

♡︎ Word count 5.9k

♡︎ Author notes I’m hoping I’m not forgetting anything this is the first time I’ve ever written anything long like this let’s just say I had way to much fun with this one still learning to write Hotch an the team please be kind

This is inspired by 50 shades , in my own writing this took some time to write about four days maybe longer .

But I had so much fun

Your thoughts are welcome but please be kind …

The longest fic ever omg …

I did proof read this about four times I like how it sounds if I missed anything in the description please let me know but in a kind way please thank you

Omg guys I loved how this turned out I hope you do too eek .. get it Reid all I can say lol …

♡︎Background outline♡︎

You are a 25-year-old college student pursuing a degree in English Literature at a prestigious university in Quantico, Virginia. Known for your striking beauty, intelligence, and keen observational skills, you’ve earned the quiet admiration of your peers and professors alike.

you’ve grown up with a grounded perspective, valuing hard work and independence.

You are deeply driven, throwing yourself into your studies with unwavering focus. Mondays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays are dedicated to class, where you immerse yourself in analyzing the works of literary giants and crafting essays that showcase your sharp mind.

Wednesdays, however, are different. On this one day each week, you step into an entirely new world as an intern at Vogue magazine.

The hustle and glamour of the fashion industry couldn’t be further from your quiet life on campus, yet you’ve found a way to excel there too.

Whether assisting with features or observing the fast-paced brilliance of the editors, your time at Vogue challenges you in unexpected ways, pushing you outside your comfort zone.

Though shy by nature, you possess a subtle confidence that emerges when you're with your best friend, Rebecca—a free-spirited extrovert who often brings out your more adventurous side.

Coming from a comfortable middle-class background, you have never known the extremes of wealth or poverty. Instead, you’ve grown up with a grounded perspective, valuing hard work and independence.

You are deeply driven, throwing yourself into your studies with unwavering focus.

Your world revolves around literature, where you find solace and inspiration in the pages of classic novels and the complexity of human emotion. Yet, beneath your poised exterior, shadows linger. You’ve been grappling with the suffocating presence of your ex—a toxic figure who refuses to let go.

His threats come in the form of ominous text messages, late-night phone calls, and echoes of the emotional manipulation you endured during your time together. Each interaction leaves a mark, the sting of his words reverberating in your mind long after they’ve stopped. Rebecca is the only person who knows the full extent of what you’ve been through.

She is your anchor, the one who reminds you of your worth when the memories threaten to pull you under. Still, you can’t help but feel that your life has become a balancing act between striving for a brighter future and outrunning the shadows of your past.

This is the moment that changes everything: your decision to pursue an interview with Aaron Hotchner.

Now

Balancing everything had been a challenge lately. You were in school on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays, and on Wednesdays, you interned at Vogue magazine. The internship was exciting, but it only added to your growing nerves—if this interview opportunity ever happened, you wanted to make a good impression.

You had spent the last few days diving into Aaron Hotchner's past interviews—every case, every experience he’d shared online. The man was an enigma, and you couldn’t help but admire his brilliance and the way he carried himself. But now, you were stuck. What if, by some miracle, you got the chance to interview him? You needed questions—good ones.

Sighing, you turned to your best friend, Rebecca, desperate for help.

She glanced at you, rolled her eyes, and grabbed a pen. With a smirk playing on her lips, she scribbled something across the first line of your notebook and slid it back toward you.

“Here’s a question,” she said, feigning nonchalance.

Curious, you leaned forward to read it, and your eyes widened in horror. “Are you gay?”

You nearly choked. “Rebecca!” you hissed, your cheeks flushing instantly. “Seriously? Gay? That’s your idea of help?”

“What?” she replied with exaggerated innocence, twirling the pen between her fingers.

“He’s not married or anything, so it’s a valid question. Besides,” she added with a pointed look, “you need to lighten up a little.”

You glared at her, but she pressed on, her voice softening. “Look, it’s been six months since you and…you know…broke up.

I know he still haunts you with those stupid messages and calls, but you can’t keep living in that shadow.

You need someone who can make you feel again.

It doesn’t have to be Mr. Hotchner, but it should be someone.”

Her words hit a nerve, and you felt your throat tighten. You wanted to argue, to tell her she didn’t understand, but deep down, you knew she wasn’t wrong.

Rebecca’s grin returned as she watched your reaction. “Oh my God, you’re blushing!” she exclaimed, her voice tinged with teasing delight. “You totally have a crush on him, don’t you?”

“Do not!” you shot back, the heat in your cheeks betraying your denial.

“Sure,” she said, laughing. “Your face is practically glowing right now.”

Groaning, you buried your face in your hands, already regretting asking her for help. Rebecca’s laughter echoed around you as if to punctuate your misery.

Taking a deep breath, you peeked at her through your fingers. “For the record,” you mumbled, “I already did something. I sent him an email.”

Rebecca froze mid-laugh, her eyebrows shooting up. “You what?”

“I sent him an email,” you repeated, your voice barely above a whisper.

The weight of your own words hit you, making your chest tighten with a mix of nerves and excitement.

Rebecca’s jaw dropped, but instead of teasing, her eyes sparkled with curiosity.

“Well, look at you,” she said, a slow grin spreading across her face. “Guess you’re braver than I thought.” her voice light but impressed. “Miss Literary Genius stepping up her game.”

“I had to,” you said quietly, your eyes drifting to your notebook. “If I want to stand out—for Vogue, for school—it’s not like I had another option.”

Rebecca tilted her head, studying you. “You know,” she said softly, her teasing tone gone, “this could be a good thing.

You’re capable of more than you give yourself credit for.”

You gave her a weak smile, but inside, the nerves churned. It wasn’t just about the interview—it was about the possibility that Aaron Hotchner, the enigmatic, untouchable billionaire, might actually respond.

And if he did, everything could change.

—♡︎—The Email—♡︎

To: [email protected]

Subject: Request for an Interview for My College Research Paper & an opportunity for my internship at vogue magazine.

Dear Agent Hotchner,

I hope this email finds you well. My name is [Your Name], and I’m currently a college student majoring in English Literature at Liberal Arts University college in Quantico, Virginia. And I’m an inter for vogue magazine and for one of my courses, I’ve been given the opportunity to write a research paper on a topic of my choosing, and I decided to focus on the Behavioral Analysis Unit within the FBI.

Your work as an agent and leader of the BAU is fascinating to me. The way your team delves into the complexities of human behavior and criminal psychology aligns with many themes I’ve been studying in literature—how human motivation and character drive stories and actions.

If you are available, I would be deeply honored to interview you as part of my research. I believe your insights would add incredible depth to my paper and provide a unique perspective that no amount of online research could match. I understand how demanding your role is, and I would be happy to accommodate your schedule to make this as convenient as possible.

I’ve prepared a list of thoughtful questions with the help of my friend Rebecca , and I hope to use this opportunity to learn more about your work and the BAU’s impact on both the field of criminal justice and society as a whole.

Thank you so much for considering my request, Agent Hotchner. I greatly admire your dedication to your work and your contributions to making the world a safer place. I look forward to hearing from you and hope this email reaches you in good spirits.

You can reach me at any time via email at 578-865-2134 [email protected] or on my phone at Please don’t hesitate to contact me if you need any additional information.

Sincerely,

[Your Name]

[578-865-2134]-fake

Days passed, and you found yourself obsessively refreshing your email and checking your phone for missed calls. Nothing. By day four, you started convincing yourself it wasn’t going to happen.

Maybe your email had been too direct? Or maybe too casual? The thought made you cringe every time it crossed your mind.

5:45pm

That Wednesday, you had just gotten back from your internship at Vogue.

The exhaustion from juggling classes, work, and this looming interview weighed heavy on you—until your phone rang.

The number was unfamiliar.

You stared at the screen, the phone vibrating in your hand. Was it spam? A wrong number?—“Your Ex?

Summoning a shred of courage, you swiped to answer. “Hello, this is [Your Name].”

“Good evening, this is Aaron Hotchner.”

Your heart stopped.

Actually, stopped.

For a moment, you couldn’t breathe, let alone speak. The deep, confident voice on the other end sent a jolt through your system.

Your brain barely processed the words before your legs carried you out of your room and down the hall.

“Rebecca!” you hissed, practically kicking her door open. She jumped, startled, as you clutched the phone like it was a lifeline.

“It’s him! What do I say? What do I do?”

Rebecca’s eyes went wide as a grin spread across her face. She motioned wildly for you to calm down. “Breathe! Breathe! And answer him before he thinks you hung up!”

You closed your eyes, forcing yourself to inhale deeply. “I’m sorry, Mr. Hotchner,” you finally managed, your voice shaking only slightly.

“I wasn’t expecting your call—it’s such an honor to hear from you.”

“That’s quite alright,” he replied smoothly, a hint of warmth in his tone. “I read your email, and I’d like to discuss your interview proposal further. Are you available to meet in person sometime this week?”— “Let’s say Friday?

Your heart raced as you clutched your phone. "Friday works great, sir," you replied, trying to sound composed despite the excitement bubbling inside you.

"Great," he said calmly. "I’ll send you the details. Is this number okay to use?"

"Yes, sir," you confirmed quickly, barely able to contain your enthusiasm.

"Good. I’ll send you a message once everything is finalized. Thank you for reaching out."

"Thank you so much, sir, for this opportunity," you managed to say before the call ended.

As the line disconnected, you let out a squeal of joy, practically leaping onto your best friend Rebecca’s bed. “Rebecca! It’s actually happening!

I’m going to interview him—Aaron Hotchner!” you exclaimed, clutching a pillow to your chest.

Before you could process the moment, your phone buzzed in your hand. It was him.

The message read:

Hi, this is Agent Hotchner. Just a quick reminder about our interview on Friday at the BAU office at 9:30 a.m. If you have any trouble finding the office, don’t hesitate to reach out, and I’ll help with directions. See you then.

—Special Agent, Unit Chief Hotchner owner of The BAU

You stared at the screen, your hands trembling slightly. "Rebecca," you whispered, holding up the phone, "He texted me."

The excitement bubbling in your chest made it impossible to stay still. Friday couldn’t come soon enough.

Your heart raced as you exchanged details with him, somehow managing to sound semi-professional despite the adrenaline coursing through your veins.

The second the call ended, you collapsed onto Rebecca’s bed, clutching the phone to your chest.

“I’m meeting him,” you whispered, eyes wide.

Rebecca shrieked, grabbing your arm and shaking it.

“I told you! This is huge! You’re meeting Aaron freakin’ Hotchner. Do you know how many people would kill for this opportunity?!”

You nodded numbly, your excitement quickly giving way to nerves. “Oh God… What have I gotten myself into?”

Rebecca’s eyes lit up with mischief, and she clasped her hands together as if she had just come up with the best idea in the world. “I know what we’re going to do.

“Oh no, don’t even think about saying no—we’re celebrating tonight!”

You barely had a chance to respond before she announced her plan with a decisive grin. “We’re going to a club. Get ready. You deserve this.”

Rebecca’s energy was infectious, and before you knew it, you were standing in front of the mirror, adjusting the sleek black skirt she had practically forced you to wear.

The gold-strapped top you chose shimmered against your skin, catching the light in a way that made you feel... confident.

Pairing it with black tights and small black heels, you had to admit the outfit was perfect—just the right mix of bold and elegant.

As you reached for your earrings, you caught Rebecca’s reflection in the mirror.

Rebecca stood behind you, her arms crossed and her head tilted, studying you with a proud smile.

“This is Instagram photo-worthy. Seriously, you’re glowing. Come on, we need a little photoshoot before the Uber gets here!”

Before you could protest, Rebecca had already grabbed her phone and positioned you against the wall.

The next few minutes were filled with laughter as she directed you like a photographer at a magazine shoot. “Okay, now give me a smirk. Perfect! Tilt your head a little… yes! That’s it! Oh my God, these are so good!”

Rebecca even pulled you into a few selfies, making exaggerated pouty faces while holding the camera high. She burst into laughter, flipping through the pictures. “Look at us! We’re gonna break the internet.”

As the Uber pulled up outside, Rebecca grabbed your hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

“You look amazing. You’re going to have the best night. Trust me, you deserve this.”

Her words melted some of your lingering nerves, and you found yourself smiling for the first time all evening. Rebecca had always had a way of pushing you out of your comfort zone, reminding you that life was meant to be lived.

“Okay,” you said, letting out a steadying breath as you grabbed your purse. “Let’s do this.”

With Rebecca by your side, you stepped into the night, ready to celebrate in a way you never had before.

As the Uber driver dropped you and Rebecca off a few blocks from your apartment, the thumping bass of the club music filled the air.

The neon lights outside flashed rhythmically, casting vibrant colors onto the sidewalk.

Rebecca practically bounced with excitement as you stepped out of the car.

“Are you ready for this?” she asked, her grin contagious.

You nodded, though your stomach was fluttering with nervous energy. Approaching the bouncer at the door, you handed over your ID. He glanced at it, then stamped both your hands with a glowing ink before motioning you inside.

The moment you stepped into the club, you were hit by a wall of sound—music thumping, people laughing, and the hum of conversation blending into a buzzing, electric atmosphere.

Multicolored lights swirled overhead, casting an ever-changing glow on the packed dance floor.

Rebecca turned to you with a gleam in her eye. “Let’s get a drink first!”

You smiled, letting her lead the way to the bar. As you weaved through the crowd, your gaze wandered around the room.

A group of people near the corner of the bar caught your attention. They were laughing and talking animatedly, the camaraderie between them evident.

You didn’t think much of it until you reached the bar with Rebecca and placed your drink order.

Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed a familiar face in that same group.

“No freaking way,” you gasped, your voice barely above a whisper.

Rebecca turned to you, handing you your drink. “What? What is it?”

You nodded toward the corner, your heart skipping a beat. “Look. Over there.”

Rebecca’s eyes followed your gaze. When they landed on the man you were staring at, her jaw dropped. “No. Freaking. Way.

That’s Mr. Hotchner himself. See? I told you tonight was meant to be fun!”

You buried your face in your hands, groaning. “Oh my God, this cannot be happening.”

“Come on,” Rebecca said with a grin, tugging on your arm. “We’ll deal with that later. Let’s hit the dance floor!

As you were making your way to the dance floor, a tall man accidentally bumped into you.

“Whoa, sorry about that, ladies,” he said, flashing a charming smile.

You smiled politely. “Oh, it’s okay, sir.”

He chuckled, shaking his head. “Sir? Come on, now. I’m Derek Morgan, but you can just call me Derek.”

You introduced yourself, but before you could finish, you heard someone call your name from across the room. You froze, recognizing the voice immediately.

“Oh, great,” you muttered under your breath.

Derek’s brow furrowed as he glanced toward the source of your discomfort. “Everything okay?”

You let out a sigh. “Not really. That’s my ex.

I haven’t seen him in six months, but he won’t stop harassing me with calls and messages. I’ll be fine, though.” You offered a polite smile. “It’s nice to meet you, Sir.”

“Just Derek,” he reminded you with a smile and nod before heading back to his group.

When Derek rejoined his friends, he leaned in and spoke low enough for only them to hear. “Hey, guys, keep an eye on that guy over there.”

JJ glanced toward your ex, then back at Derek.

“Those girls he’s bothering?

“Emily chimed in , They’re beautiful.”

Derek nodded. “Right, but that guy’s trouble. Stay sharp.”

Aaron Hotchner and Spencer Reid , who had been quietly observing, straightened up. “Got it,” they said, There tone calm but firm.

As you tried to make your way to the dance floor, your ex suddenly appeared in front of you, stepping into your path with a forceful presence.

Without warning, he grabbed your arm.

“Come on, dance with me,” Nate said, his voice laced with a sense of entitlement.

You pulled away sharply, your heart racing. “No, Nate. No.”

Rebecca, sensing the tension, stepped forward. “Leave her alone, Nate.”

He sneered at Rebecca, getting right in her face. “What are you going to do about it?” he challenged.

You stepped in between them, trying to keep the peace. “Stop, Nate.”

“You think you can do better than me?” he spat, yanking your arm toward him with force.

You winced as you tried to pull away again, your voice trembling. “Nate, please…”

Rebecca didn’t hesitate. She stepped right in front of you, blocking Nate from getting any closer. “I said, leave her alone.”

At that moment, you noticed two figures coming up behind Nate—two men in suits.

You didn’t recognize them at first, but the intensity of their approach made you feel a flicker of relief.

Hotch and Reid exchanged a glance, both knowing what needed to be done.

“Let’s move,” Hotch said, his voice calm but firm.

Reid nodded. “Right.”

They reached Nate, moving with purpose, and Reid spoke up first, though his voice wavered slightly. “Sir, I’m Dr. Spencer Reid.”

Nate just laughed, clearly dismissive. “Okay, Dr. Please, leave us alone.”

But Hotch didn’t wait. He stepped forward, his gaze locked on Nate, commanding the situation.

“Take your hand off her.” His tone was unwavering, and it made your heart race in a different way—one of safety.

Nate scoffed, sizing Hotch up. “And who are you? Some guy in a suit?”

Hotch didn’t flinch.

“No, I’m with the FBI.” He flashed his badge, and Reid did the same, pulling his badge from his jacket pocket with practiced precision.

Nate’s demeanor faltered. He let go of your arm, his eyes wide with realization. “Whoa, okay. I didn’t want to start any trouble.”

Spencer added, his voice firm but measured. “Leave these ladies alone.”

Nate stepped back, defeated but unwilling to admit his wrongdoing.

As he walked away, Hotch’s eyes never left you, his gaze steady and protective.

Reid glanced over at you with concern. “Are you guys okay?”

You nodded, feeling both shaken and somehow grounded by their intervention.

Spencer, after sharing a brief look with Rebecca, turned to her with a smile. “Would you like to dance?”

Rebecca grinned and nodded eagerly. “I’d love to.”

With that, they made their way to the center of the dance floor, where the soft rhythm of the slow song started to fill the space.

As they began to move together, you found yourself standing next to Hotch, the noise of the crowd fading around you. The moment felt suspended in time.

The song continued to play, and with it, a quiet anticipation seemed to linger between you and Hotch.

The distance between you both felt palpable. As you stood there, your nerves betrayed you.

After a long, almost unspoken pause, Hotch finally broke the silence. “Would you like to dance?” His voice was calm, steady, like everything around you was perfectly still.

You swallowed, trying to steady your breath. Your response came out as a soft, almost hesitant nod. “Yes.”

Without missing a beat, Hotch stepped closer and pulled you gently into his arms. The warmth of his touch was immediate, a powerful presence that settled in the pit of your stomach. There was something so unexpectedly comforting about his strength and the quiet connection between you both.

Neither of you said a word as you moved together, the music guiding you. You could feel the steady beat of his heart beneath your ear as you laid your head against his chest. The world seemed to shrink down to just the two of you. The way he held you, his hand at the small of your back, was both reassuring and electrifying.

In the distance, you could see Rebecca and Spencer, the two of them enjoying their own rhythm on the dance floor. Their laughter mixed with the music, but you couldn’t help but notice the way Rebecca kept glancing over at you and Hotch, a knowing smile playing on her lips.

You stole a quick glance at her, your gaze sharp, silently telling her to stop teasing you. But she didn’t even flinch, her smile only widening as she caught your eye.

Your focus returned to Hotch as you both continued to move together, the slow dance grounding you in a way you hadn’t expected.

As the music filled the space, Hotch finally broke the quiet. His voice was soft but steady, as if he were reading the air around you. “I bet you weren’t expecting this tonight.”

You glanced up at him, your breath catching slightly. The warmth of his gaze sent a ripple of heat through you. “No,” you admitted with a quiet laugh, “not really. I wasn’t expecting you to be here.”

Hotch let out a low chuckle, the sound somehow calming yet undeniably magnetic. “I meant me saving you from disaster, of course.”

The words hung in the air for a moment, and you couldn’t help but smile a little, even as the conversation turned more serious. Before you could speak, your mind drifted back to Friday—your interview with him. The nerves you had then felt so distant now.

You hesitated, unsure of how to word the question that had been on your mind. "When did you realize it was me?"

Hotch’s gaze never wavered from you as he answered. “When Derek pointed you both out to me.”

The admission caught you off guard, but you masked your surprise quickly. “You did a background check on me?” you asked, your voice laced with both curiosity and a hint of disbelief.

He nodded, but there was no malice in his expression. “I mean, I had my tech, Garcia, do it. Your photo was attached to your file.”

You couldn’t help but chuckle, shaking your head at the unexpectedness of it all. “Oh,” you said, a little breathless. “I see. It’s... very impressive.”

Hotch smirked slightly, his eyes glinting with amusement. “Well, I like to know who I’m dealing with.” His tone softened, and his hand instinctively adjusted the way he held you, his touch warm and grounding.

You tried not to let the thought linger for too long, but the subtle tension in the air between you two was undeniable. Every shift of his hand, every look shared between you both, seemed to make the room shrink.

As the slow dance continued, you found yourself drawn further into his presence. You weren’t sure whether it was the proximity or the steady rhythm of his heartbeat against your ear, but everything felt different now. The connection between you wasn’t just physical—it was something more, something deeper.

From the corner of your eye, you could see Rebecca still dancing with Spencer, her gaze flicking between you and Hotch, her knowing smile more evident than ever. You couldn’t suppress the small glare you sent her way. But even that felt secondary to the unspoken pull between you and Hotch.

The night was unfolding in ways you never expected, but somehow, it felt like everything was falling into place, one slow dance at a time.

As the night came to a close, you and Rebecca had the chance to meet the rest of the team. Garcia was just as vibrant and lively as you’d imagined, her bright smile infectious. JJ’s warm energy was comforting, and Emily had an air of quiet confidence. Rossi, ever the seasoned professional, gave you a kind nod. Derek was smiling, still a bit playful, as you turned to him, grateful for everything he’d done tonight.

You offered Derek a hug, your voice soft but sincere. “Thank you for looking out for me... and for Rebecca.”

He smiled warmly, pulling you into a brief but genuine embrace. “Anytime. Stay safe, alright?”

Rebecca, meanwhile, was chatting away with Reid, exchanging numbers with him as they laughed. You couldn’t help but glance at Hotch.

Every time you looked, his gaze was already on you, steady and unwavering, like he was silently taking you in from across the room.

Rebecca, clearly sensing your distraction, turned to you with a mischievous grin. “You okay over there?”

You offered her a quick smile, trying to shake off the feeling that had settled in your chest. “Yeah, just... taking it all in.”

Hotch’s voice cut through the moment. “Would you both like a ride home?” His tone was calm, yet there was something in it—something that made you feel both comforted and a little on edge.

Rebecca immediately agreed, her smile widening. “Yes, please. I’m not about to try finding a cab tonight.”

You nodded, not sure what to say. But you knew you couldn’t say no.

Reid, ever the gentleman, insisted on riding with you all, clearly wanting more time with Rebecca. You could see the small smile on his face.

As you all stepped outside into the chilly night air, the cold hit your skin, but it didn’t seem to matter.

Hotch moved toward you, opening the door of the black SUV. You felt a flicker of warmth at the gesture, even though the night was crisp.

Reid did the same for Rebecca, and for the first time all night, she was quiet.

You glanced over at her, wondering if she was feeling the same undercurrent of tension that you were.

Without a word, she reached for your hand, her touch grounding.

You didn’t have to say anything—it felt like there was an understanding between you two, unspoken but clear.

Once everyone was settled inside, you spoke up, your voice breaking the silence.

“We’re just a few blocks from here. Just take a couple left turns, and I’ll tell you when to stop.”

Hotch gave a short nod, his gaze meeting yours for a brief moment. “Got it,” he replied, his voice steady.

The engine hummed to life as the SUV pulled away from the curb, the soft sound of the tires on the road blending with the quiet stillness of the night. But the tension, the pull between you and Hotch, was still there—lingering

As you arrived at your and Rebecca’s apartment, Reid turned to you with a kind smile. “It was nice to meet you,” he said sincerely.

“You as well,” you replied softly, your voice tinged with shyness.

Reid stepped out of the SUV and circled around to open the door on Rebecca’s side. As she got out, she turned to you, placing a reassuring hand on your shoulder. “Be good to her, Hotchner,” she said firmly, her voice filled with protective warmth.

Hotch met her gaze in the rearview mirror and gave a small nod, a silent acknowledgment of her words. Then, his attention shifted to you, his dark eyes calm yet piercing.

You tried to focus, but your thoughts were spinning. One question had been circling in your mind ever since Rebecca had scribbled it in your notebook. It felt too big to ignore.

You looked up at Hotch, hesitating for a moment. “Can I ask you an off-the-record question?” you finally managed, your voice tentative as you wrestled with your nerves.

“Of course,” he replied gently, his tone inviting trust.

Before you could stop yourself, the words tumbled out: “Are you… gay?”

Hotch’s brows knitted together in confusion as he processed your question.

Your eyes widened in panic. “I’m sorry—I don’t know what came over me,” you blurted, flustered and immediately regretting your boldness.

Before he could respond, the sound of his phone vibrating cut through the moment. He pulled it out, his expression sharpening as he read the message.

“It’s Reid,” Hotch said, his tone calm but clipped. “He says your ex is waiting for you on the steps.”

Your stomach dropped, a cold wave of fear washing over you. “What?”

Hotch hesitated, reading the message again. What he didn’t say aloud was the rest: He’s got Rebecca. He’s holding her arm.

“Hey,” Hotch said firmly, drawing your attention back to him. “It’ll be okay. We’ve got this, all right?”

You nodded shakily, though your hands trembled. Together, you stepped out of the SUV and made your way toward the apartment.

Your heart dropped when you saw Nate—his hand gripping Rebecca’s arm as Reid tried to intervene.

“Get your hands off her!” you shouted, rushing forward despite the fear gripping you.

Nate turned, his face twisted with anger. “Oh, so you’re with the suit guy now?” he spat, his voice venomous.

“Nate, let her go,” you demanded, your voice stronger this time. “Let her go now.”

Hotch stepped in beside you, his presence commanding. “You need to leave. Now,” he said, his voice low and firm, brooking no argument. “Unless you’d prefer I call my team and have you in handcuffs for harassment. Got it?”

Nate hesitated, glaring at you and then at Hotch. But something in Hotch’s tone—or maybe the promise of a full FBI team arriving—made him think better of it. With a muttered curse, he let go of Rebecca and stormed off.

Hotch stepped closer to you, his arm brushing against yours protectively as he watched Nate leave. “It’s okay,” he said softly, his steady presence grounding you.

You turned back to Rebecca, rushing to her side as tears welled in your eyes. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Rebecca said, her voice breaking as she pulled you into a hug. The two of you clung to each other, the weight of the moment spilling out in shared tears.

“I thought I had him,” Reid said apologetically, looking at Hotch with guilt in his eyes.

“It’s fine,” Hotch reassured him, his tone firm but understanding. “You did everything you could.”

The four of you stood there for a moment, the tension easing as you realized it was finally over—for now. But as Hotch’s hand rested lightly on your back, you couldn’t help but feel safe, like everything might really be okay.

Hotch turned to you as the tension began to fade, his presence still steady and reassuring. “Good night,” he said gently, his dark eyes meeting yours. “If you need anything, don’t hesitate to call.”

You nodded, feeling a warmth in his words that helped ease some of the lingering panic.

“Thank you,” you said softly.

Reid stepped forward, offering Rebecca a comforting hug before giving you both a small smile. “Good night,” he added warmly.

“Good night,” you and Rebecca said in unison, your voices subdued but sincere.

You and Rebecca headed toward the apartment as Hotch and Reid got back into the SUV. The low hum of the engine reached your ears as the vehicle pulled away, disappearing into the night.

Once inside, you both stopped for a moment to catch your breath, the events of the night weighing heavily on you.

“Man, what a night,” Rebecca muttered, breaking the silence.

“Not exactly the kind I was hoping for,” you replied with a soft laugh that didn’t quite reach your eyes.

“I’m so sorry,” Rebecca said, her voice trembling.

You turned to her, shaking your head firmly. “This isn’t your fault, Rebecca. Do you hear me? None of this is your fault. You didn’t know Nate would show up at the club, and you definitely didn’t know he’d be waiting for us here.”

Rebecca let out a shaky breath, her eyes glistening. “I guess none of us expected to meet the FBI tonight either.”

At that, you couldn’t help but giggle, the tension breaking just a little. “Yeah, not exactly a normal Wednesday night.”

Rebecca gasped, her hand flying to her chest in mock offense. “Oh my God, you’re laughing! Who are you, and what have you done with my stressed-out best friend?”

You grinned. “What can I say? I’m full of surprises.” You paused, the weight of the evening still heavy but beginning to lift. “I need a hot shower,” you added, stretching your arms.

Rebecca perked up. “Pizza?”

“Absolutely,” you said with a nod.

“I’ll order it,” she offered, already pulling out her phone

“Great. Extra cheese, please,” you called over your shoulder as you made your way to the bathroom.

The sound of water cascading from the showerhead was a soothing balm, washing away the tension of the evening. You leaned your forehead against the cool tile, letting the steam wrap around you like a comforting embrace. For the first time in hours, you allowed yourself to breathe deeply.

When you stepped out of the shower, the faint aroma of freshly delivered pizza filled the apartment. You grabbed your phone from the counter, smiling at the text message that had come in while you were in the shower.

Hotch: Stay safe. We’re here if you need us. And to answer your off-the-record question… No, I’m not gay. It was nice meeting you tonight. See you Friday for your interview. Also… Reid is absolutely crazy for your friend.

You couldn’t help the smile that spread across your face as you read the message. A warmth bloomed in your chest, the earlier embarrassment of your question melting into something lighter—something you couldn’t quite name yet.

“Pizza’s here!” Rebecca called from the kitchen.

“Perfect timing,” you replied, setting your phone down as you padded into the living room, the smell of pizza making your stomach rumble.

Rebecca handed you a plate, raising her eyebrows when she saw the faint blush on your cheeks. “What’s got you smiling like that?”

“Nothing,” you said quickly, taking a big bite of pizza to avoid further questioning.

But as Rebecca turned back to the TV, you glanced at your phone again, the message still glowing on the screen. You couldn’t stop the small smile from returning.

Maybe tonight wasn’t all bad after all.

The next couple of days flew by in a blur of school assignments, internship tasks, and the lingering emotions from that unforgettable night.

Before you knew it, it was Friday—the day of your interview with Hotch.

You were both nervous and excited, knowing the interview wasn’t just for your school paper but also for Vogue, the magazine where you were interning.

Rebecca had insisted on driving you to the BAU office, claiming it was the least she could do after everything that had happened.

“Why are you so calm?” you asked, staring at her in disbelief as she hummed along to the radio.

“I’m not the one interviewing an FBI Unit Chief,” she replied with a grin. “That’s all you.”

You sighed, glancing down at your nearly blank notebook. Despite your best efforts over the past couple of days, your mind had been an absolute mess.

You’d written a few questions, but none of them felt right.

“I can’t think,” you muttered, running a hand through your hair. “Help me.”

Rebecca gave you a sympathetic look as she pulled up to a stoplight. “Okay, how about this: start with the basics. Ask him what made him want to join the FBI.

Then maybe something about the most rewarding part of his job.”

You nodded, jotting her suggestions down. “That’s good. What else?”

“Hmm… maybe ask him about the hardest case he’s ever worked on or what it’s like to manage a team under so much pressure.”

You scribbled furiously, feeling a small spark of inspiration.

“Also,” Rebecca added with a mischievous grin, “you should totally ask him how he manages to look so intimidating all the time.”

You let out a laugh, shaking your head. “Yeah, because that wouldn’t be awkward at all.”

Rebecca shrugged, her grin widening. “Hey, it’s a valid question.”

By the time you arrived at the BAU, you had a decent list of questions, though your nerves were still in overdrive. Rebecca parked and turned to you, her expression softening.

“You’re going to be great,” she said firmly.

You took a deep breath and nodded. “Thanks, Beck.”

When you walked into the BAU office, you couldn’t help but be awed by the energy of the space. Agents moved with purpose, phones rang in the background, and the atmosphere hummed with quiet intensity.

A receptionist greeted you and directed you to a conference room where Hotch was waiting.

As you entered, you spotted him standing by the table, reviewing some papers. He looked up as you approached, his calm and collected demeanor instantly grounding you.

“Good afternoon,” he said with a small, welcoming smile. “You must be here for the interview.”

“Yes,” you replied, extending your hand. “Thank you for taking the time to meet with me, Agent Hotchner.”

“Call me Hotch,” he said, shaking your hand firmly.

You settled into a chair, opening your notebook as you tried to steady your nerves.

“Are you ready?” he asked, his tone professional yet kind.

You nodded, taking a deep breath before diving into your first question.

“What made you want to join the FBI?” you began, your voice steadier than you’d expected.

Hotch leaned back slightly, considering your question. “Originally, I worked as a prosecutor.

But I realized I wanted to be more involved in preventing crime rather than addressing it after the fact. The FBI offered me the chance to make a difference in a more hands-on way.”

You scribbled down his response, already feeling more at ease. “What’s the most rewarding part of your job?”

He paused, a thoughtful expression crossing his face. “Knowing that we’re able to bring closure to victims and their families. It’s not always easy, but when we solve a case, it reminds us why we do what we do.”

“What’s the hardest case you’ve ever worked on?” you asked next, your voice quieter as you sensed the weight of the question.

Hotch’s jaw tightened slightly, and you could see a flicker of something—pain, maybe—flash in his eyes. “Every case involving children is difficult,” he admitted. “Those are the ones that stick with you the most.”

You nodded solemnly, feeling a pang of empathy. “How do you manage the pressure of leading a team in such high-stakes situations?”

Hotch folded his hands on the table, his tone steady. “I trust my team. They’re some of the most capable people I’ve ever worked with. We rely on each other, and that makes all the difference.”

As the interview continued, you couldn’t help but notice how thoughtful and measured Hotch was with each response. Despite his stoic exterior, there was a quiet strength and kindness to him that made you feel completely at ease.

By the time you wrapped up, you had pages of notes and a new level of admiration for him.

“Thank you again for taking the time to do this,” you said as you gathered your things.

“It was my pleasure,” Hotch replied, standing as you prepared to leave. “And remember, if you ever need anything, don’t hesitate to call.”

As you walked out of the BAU, you couldn’t help but smile. When you glanced at your phone, a new message popped up from Hotch:

Hotch: Stay safe. We’re here if needed. Also, it was nice meeting you again. And Reid wasn’t kidding—he’s definitely interested in your friend.

You laughed softly, tucking your phone back into your bag. As the BAU disappeared behind you, you felt a sense of pride—and maybe something more—that you couldn’t quite put into words yet.

Thank you for taking time to read this I appreciate it

Much love Kris 🫶🏻💌 part two coming soon ..

Tag list

@hoe4hotchner besties name is in it so had to tag her 🫶🏻💕 thank you for , just for being you . You are an inspiration to me so wanted to add you in this fic .. thank you for being so kind to me .

@lover-of-books-and-tea

@angellsell

@catssluvr

@hotchs-big-hands

@hoe4hotchnerlibrary 🫶🏻💕

@kiwriteswords 💕🫶🏻💗

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mariacallous · 4 days ago

Text

On Feb. 4, 2021, U.S. President Joe Biden traveled the short distance from the White House to Foggy Bottom to address a beleaguered government department. His goal was to help restore self-belief and resource to the State Department, which had endured a torrid four years under then former President Donald Trump:

“Investing in our diplomacy isn’t something we do just because it’s the right thing to do for the world. We do it in order to live in peace, security, and prosperity. We do it because it’s in our own naked self-interest.”

Biden’s speechwriters were smart in characterizing diplomacy as a means to advance “naked self-interest.” In terms of public messaging, stripping altruism from U.S. diplomacy made the State Department appear vital and ruthless, the nation’s first line of defense. But the president’s primary purpose was therapeutic: to reassure that State would be accorded respect and reenergized under his watch.

Trump’s first term was brutal for the State Department. Because of sharp proposed budget cuts—mitigated to some extent by Congress but injurious to morale—a hiring freeze, and career professionals bolting for the exits, the department experienced a 10 percent staff reduction during Trump’s presidency. Indignity was piled on indignity, with little respite across the four years. Before he was even inaugurated, Trump’s transition team communicated that all of President Barack Obama’s noncareer ambassadors (mainly Democratic fundraisers) had to vacate their embassies by Inauguration Day, breaking with the tradition of affording ambassadors a grace period.

Trump’s first secretary of state, former ExxonMobil CEO Rex Tillerson, introduced a hiring freeze and commissioned a management consultancy, Insigniam, to help realize efficiencies. The private firm distributed a questionnaire that invited State Department employees to assist in their own defenestration: “To optimally support the future mission of the Department, what one or two things should your work unit totally stop doing or providing?” Unsurprisingly, Tillerson and Insigniam did not receive the response rate they were hoping for.

That many conservatives viewed State principally as an antagonist to Trump’s agenda, rather than an instrument to advance U.S. interests, was illustrated in an interview that Fox News’s Laura Ingraham conducted with the president in November 2017. Ingraham asked, “Are you worried that the State Department doesn’t have enough Donald Trump nominees in there to push your vision through?” before adding that “other State Departments, including [President Ronald] Reagan’s, at times, undermined his agenda. … And there is a concern that the State Department currently is undermining your agenda.”

Trump replied, accurately, that “I’m the only one that matters. Because when it comes to it, that’s what the policy is going to be. You’ve seen that. You’ve seen it strongly.” He also highlighted the merits of simply leaving posts vacant, for it was better to have no one in roles than the wrong ones: “So, we don’t need all the people that they [State] want. You know, don’t forget, I’m a businessperson. I tell my people, ‘When you don’t need to fill slots, don’t fill them.’ But we have some people that I’m not happy with there.”

Though Mike Pompeo, who succeeded a humiliated Tillerson in April 2018, lifted the hiring freeze, significant problems persisted. Key ambassadorships and assistant secretary of state roles—described by former Secretary of State Colin Powell, a retired four-star general, as tantamount to “battalion commanders”—went unfilled. Across Tillerson’s and Pompeo’s tenures, diplomats were targeted for “wrongthink” under previous administrations.

As seasoned diplomat and outgoing CIA Director William Burns wrote in 2019, “Most pernicious of all was the practice of blacklisting individual officers simply because they worked on controversial issues during the Obama administration, such as the Iran nuclear deal, plunging morale to its lowest level in decades.” Assessing the damage that the Trump administration’s staffing cuts and hiring freezes had wreaked on the State Department, Antony Blinken, who succeeded Pompeo as secretary of state following Biden’s 2020 election victory, said in an interview before taking office that that “penalizes you in all sorts of ways that will go on for generations, not just for a bunch of years.”

So, what does Trump’s second term mean for the State Department? The obvious answer is more misery. But let’s begin with a potential positive so far as departmental leadership is concerned. Trump’s pick for secretary of state, Marco Rubio, will fly through the Senate confirmation process, and he does not appear to regard the department he will soon lead as part of the so-called deep state. Rubio was a member of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee, has been consistently interventionist, subscribes to former Secretary of State Madeleine Albright’s notion that the United States is the one “indispensable nation,” and has a track record of flagging human rights causes. Rubio is about as establishment-friendly a Republican as currently exists.

But this almost guarantees that Rubio will experience significant frustrations, as his internationalist worldview and Trump’s America First is split by a chasm. If Trump’s first term is any guide, Rubio will have to bow as low as Pompeo if his tenure stands any chance of going the distance. In being nominated as secretary of state, Rubio has demonstrated that he possesses some of those self-abnegating traits. But it will be much more challenging to sustain the necessary pliability and loyalty while in office, as Rubio’s counsel trails off into the void and Trump starts unloading on social media. It does not augur well that Tammy Bruce, Trump’s pick to become State Department spokesperson, once described Rubio as “the kid waving frantically in the back of [the] room trying to prove relevance.”

It is, of course, also possible that Trump placed Rubio at State as he has no intention of meaningfully using the man, and the department he leads, as a shaper of foreign policy. But there are precedents for ignoring State and running foreign policy from the White House. Does the name William P. Rogers ring a bell? The likelihood it doesn’t reveals something about how President Richard Nixon viewed the State Department: as an unwieldy, leak-prone obstacle to bold policy initiatives. Secretary of State Rogers was shut out almost entirely from the Nixon administration’s most significant foreign-policy achievement: the opening to China. (Rogers’s humiliation was a foretaste of the marginalization of the State Department to come.) The difference between Nixon and Trump is that the former drew upon Henry Kissinger, of course, and the latter will likely draw upon his instincts—which his closest advisors will cheer on regardless of their quality and utility.

Beyond the individual who leads the State Department, there might also be a seismic change in the way diplomats are hired and fired. Three months before the end of his first term, Trump issued Executive Order 13957, which allowed him to convert certain federal civil service jobs—namely, all “career positions in the Federal service of a confidential, policy-determining, policy-making, or policy-advocating character”—to “excepted service” under the classification Schedule F. This would have effectively allowed the president to fire civil service employees and hire replacements without following the usual civil service hiring and placement procedure; they would effectively be political appointees. Trump bluntly expressed his broader purpose in his very first 2024 campaign event: “Either the deep state destroys America or we destroy the deep state.” Schedule F did not go into effect because Biden rescinded it as soon as he assumed the presidency. But in an executive order signed late on Inauguration Day, titled “Initial rescissions of harmful executive orders and actions,” Trump revoked Biden’s order as the first step to reinstating Schedule F and defeating what he regards as an implacably hostile federal bureaucracy. Trump has ominously referred to the “Deep State Department,” and it is firmly in his crosshairs.

If Trump succeeds, the implications for State are dire. Meritocratic principles will be ditched in favor of loyalty to the president’s agenda. The threat of losing one’s job for perceived disloyalty might also have a stultifying effect on the quality of advice dispensed by State employees. Why risk flagging human rights abuses in a nation that happens to be in the president’s good books at any given moment?

But Trump’s reforms will not be easy to achieve. In April 2024, Biden introduced a regulation—“Upholding Civil Service Protections and Merit System Principles”—that served to “reinforce and clarify longstanding civil service protections and merit system principles.” Trump would have to issue and finalize a new regulation, which would take time. Congress would almost certainly perform a role as a brake to presidential action. There is at least some bipartisan consensus that competence is a trait worth having in a diplomat. Given the profound nature of the potential change, contrary to the meritocratic purpose of the 1883 Pendleton Act that created the modern U.S. civil service, Schedule F would likely end up in the Supreme Court. And then Trump will discover whether his appointments to the bench are truly as loyal as he expects them to be. Guardrails will be severely tested, and it is impossible to say whether they will hold.

Whatever happens next, Foggy Bottom is in for a rough ride. The State Department is a perfect representation of the Professional-Managerial Class, a category term coined by Barbara and John Ehrenreich, so reviled by the Trump movement. State is populated by staff educated at elite universities and military academies, professes to hold true to a bipartisan objectivity in a manner that triggers the partisan, and has crafted foreign-policy initiatives pertaining to alliance building and free trade agreements that jar with Trump’s America First beliefs. If you were to overleave a political map of the United States with the states from which the foreign service principally recruits, there would be scant overlap between red and blue. Why should Trump voters care about an institution culturally alien to them and that appears to have been complicit in expending vast resource on unnecessary wars and foreign assistance?

The longer history of the State Department’s decline is of course vitally important, too. Over the past 40 years, State has been fighting a losing battle for influence in the executive branch, as the Pentagon and a beefed-up National Security Council pushed this faded heavyweight around. And it is worth remembering that the department has suffered austerity at the hands of Republican and Democratic presidents alike: Bill Clinton-era budget and personnel cuts, stemming from a misguided desire to realize a post-Cold War peace dividend with a sharp contraction in diplomatic resources, were devastating.

But the threat posed by Trump is ideological, premeditated, and of a different order of magnitude. This vast repository of expertise will find Trump’s second term even harder to bear than the first, and this is dismal news for the United States and the world. As Gen. James Mattis, before his stint as Trump’s defense secretary, warned in 2013, “If you don’t fund the State Department fully, then I need to buy more ammunition.”

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matan4il · 1 year ago

Note

Do you think Mile remembers Apo from those earlier events?

Hi, Nonnie! Thank you for the ask. Buckle up, I have some thoughts and plenty of info (and pics).

When it was discovered Mileapo were both present at the 24 Jul 2013 event, I mentioned that Mile said there might have been more than one runway gig they did together, because in the Journey interview, he mentioned remembering Apo as walking ahead of him, not behind (*cough* Gee, I wonder what Mile was staring at that he still remembered looking at Apo from behind when doing this interview 8 years later). In the 10 Aug 2013 runway event, the clearer pic of Apo and the vid show him behind Mile, not ahead of him:

We never see Apo in front of Mile in either the 21 Feb 2013 event or the Jul 24 event vids.

But there's another pic showing Apo (in the checkered shirt to Mile's left in the pic below) behind Mile WHILE walking in the opposite direction. Which implies shortly before the pic was taken, Apo was walking ahead of Mile, got to the end of the runway, and turned around. So the pic itself still shows him behind Mile despite Apo having walked in front of him.

(this is based on the assumption Apo is indeed the guy in the checkered shirt. It seems to be him, but it's hard to 100% confirm)

Assuming that that's Apo, the event where Mile remembered Apo walking in front of him might have been the same one uncovered by the fans (10 Aug 2013). BUT it could be that that's not Apo, or that Mile does remember a separate event. If you ever have the chance to ask Mile a question, please let it be about this!

Either way, up until the 24 Jul 2013 event was unearthed a few days ago, Mile def was under the impression that the 10 Aug event was the first time they crossed paths, as he mentioned in a recent interview (remember that when he gave this answer, the only vid uncovered by fans was the one from the August event):

This seems to suggest that even if he remembered seeing Apo at other events, he might not remember which came first (meaning it could be that either the 21 Feb or Jul 24 events had a section where Apo walked in front of Mile that has not yet been uncovered, and that's what Mile recalls). Or maybe he remembers Apo walking ahead of him from modeling events that took place after the 10 Aug one.

In any case, here's an extra touch of destiny. In the recently uncovered 21 Feb 2013 vid, you can see Masu, Apo's friend, holding his hand at the start of the vid.

There was this separate project where they took 9 handsome guys, made them radio DJs, had them record a song together boyband style, had them do some fan events, and then at a certain point they expanded to 13 guys. Masu was one of the original nine, Mile was one of the four who got added on, it appears he was a part of this from Feb 2012 to Apr that year. Here they both are together at an event in Singapore, Masu's the third guy from the right, Mile's the fifth:

So at the Feb 2013 event, there's no guarantee Mile saw Masu, or that he came over to say hi, and even if Mile did, Apo might not have been by Masu's side at that particular moment (or Masu might have seen Mile and walked over to say hi without Apo). But doesn't it feel like destiny was TRYING its DAMN HARDEST to make sure Mile and Apo would cross paths in EVERY CONCEIVABLE WAY?

Damn, I had no idea when I started watching Kinnporsche the Series that this is what would lead to me being convinced fate is real. Thank you again for the ask and allowing me to simmer in madness. xoxox

(if you're looking for any of my other Kinnporsche/Mileapo posts, just click here)

And just for the hell of it, 'coz I don't think I'll include this in any other post, here's another pic of Mile from the 21 Feb 2013 event that did not make it into the vid:

#ask #anon ask #mileapo #mkp #mile phakphum #mile phakphum romsaithong #phakphum romsaithong #apo nattawin #apo nattawin wattanagitiphat #nattawin wattanagitiphat #man suang #man suang cast #kinnporsche #kinnporsche cast #kinnporsche the cast #kpts cast #kpts the cast #kinnporschedaily #mileapodaily

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the-garbanzo-annex-jr · 1 year ago

Text

by Josh Mintz

In another significant development, Professor Jeffrey Lax, founder of SAFE CUNY, who is heavily outspoken against the university’s vicious antisemitism, confirmed that he was the first to be investigated.

He tweeted: “For those asking, yes, I am one of the four,” tweeted Lax on Monday. “I said from the very beginning that I may have been the first one they did this to, but I would be FAR from the last. And, here we are. A 1930s Germany style purge of faculty in Academia.”

Lax continued: “Since I was the first placed under investigation for the identical “crime” of being a Zionist who dared complain about antisemitism on campus, let me summarize how the process went for me:

1. CUNY repeatedly refused to tell me that I was the target of the investigation. They repeatedly attempted to interview and question me without my knowledge that I was the accused and without my knowledge of anything that was at issue.

2. After much later finally admitting that I was the target of their investigation, CUNY refused to provide me with a copy of the complaint against me, despite their own procedure requiring it.

3. After I was made aware that I was the target and denied a copy of the complaint, CUNY refused to allow me to testify in my own defense. This despite repeated pleas by me to allow me to do so.

4. CUNY completed the investigation against me on Feb. 28th –more than 5 months ago– and to this day refuses to tell me the results of the investigation or whether I will be sanctioned or fired for committing “discrimination” by filing a complaint based on Zionism antisemitism on campus.

#cuny #investigation #zionist #antisemitism #campus antisemitism #jeffrey lax #safe cuny

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merrivia · 2 years ago

Note

I’m curious about your reading experiences with CaPri, you seem as someone who understands the text so well! Could you share some of your experiences with the text? (When you first read it, how many times you’ve re-read it, do you annotate your copies, do you binge-read the trilogy in a week with each reread [like I do], do you have chapters you revisit a lot, etc.)

Hey, so I'm just going through a little backlog of asks!

I feel this is just a niche conversation between you and I tbh, but I'll answer haha. Feel free to directly message me in the future, I'm so open to conversations about the book.

Thank you for saying you think I understand the text so well! That's really kind.

I first got the books on my kindle on the 17th Feb and just binge read them all the way through. I got really fixated on them instantly and.... read them all the way through again, literally straight after. There was something about the way Pacat writes that really hit the spot for me.

I'll be honest though, I tried the book before ages ago (maybe 5 or 6 years ago?) and I was immediately turned off.

What changed? I think because I got into (a different) fandom and started reading fan fiction. Before then I was a huge bookworm, and read everything- though I did lean very much towards literary fiction, the older I got. My many open tabs on AO3 slowly changed my parameters around what fics should look like, the moral framework of them, the spice factor if you will, and so on. Coming from the lawless land of fanfiction where all is allowed and nothing really censored, meant I could come to the text with much more of an open mind.

When I read the trilogy my brain just lit up immediately- the intensity of events, the depth of emotions, the wit and humour, the political machinations and military warfare, the love story...it all combined to make magic amongst my neurons.

My first meta was about a month later, as my brain was 24/7 CaPri brain rot, and I read it another time all the way through, still on kindle.

Then I got The Summer Palace and finally bought all the books in paperback as well. And re-read the books in paperback! So since February I've read them four times. This is when I started to slow down haha.

I don't use tabs or make notes. I tended to just binge read, but do have a job so that meant pausing while at work. I don't necessarily go back and re-visit chapters unless I want to write a meta.

I think re-reading the text is enormously helpful, as reading it the first time is like a sensorial rush of emotion, and the second or third time you can really pay attention to structure and language and character development. Pacat leaves much unsaid and to be deciphered, a 'negative space' as she's called it in interviews, where we have to see what it not being said or what we aren't being directly told and figure things out.

Fandom is an interesting place, and as someone who approaches metas on the text as sort of experiment in literary analysis, I do find it interesting the way people's opinions on the text seem so disparate or different from mine. There are some very strong-minded people on tumblr, and I've seen different camps of people re-read things according to their biases, in different ways. I would perhaps call some of them (not all, but some...) misreadings, also. And regardless, they tend to try and strong-arm you into agreeing with them! I mean, I'm sure I exhibit biases too, but I hope that the least I do is pay attention, try to think things through carefully and come with evidence! And respect true differences of opinion. All I can say is looping back to the source material is important, but ultimately reading and decoding a text can be very personal.

As a final note, I would also say, I came to the books after years and years of intense reading across lots of different genres, and if anyone wanted to get into writing meta for specific texts, reading and thinking widely is an important foundation for that imo.

Hope that answered your question!

#captive prince #thanks for the ask!#sorry if this is of no interest to anyone else lol

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shpadoinkle-day · 2 years ago

Note

hi again!! its 1st time cannibal the musical watcher again- i might start signing my asks or somethin cus i keep wanting to talk but like you're always sharing such obscure random stuff.. DO YOU HAVE A FAVORITE THING YOU'VE DISCOVERED OR FOUND?? specific quote of an interview or a particular photo you've found ???

hiii anon lovely to see you back! feel free to tag yourself if you prefer that way, but either way you're much appreciated 🥰

I have so much stuff I found (I'd say it more like... was lucky to run into while researching 😵‍💫) that I love, but to name a few...

"My lovely wife Matt Stone" aka Trey's BOM speech from Feb 25 2013 at the first west end preview. How I found this: So, sometimes when I'm bored I'll pick a random mattrey blog that's been active for a long time, open an old post from their archive, see if there's old inactive mattrey blogs in the notes, and look through their archive to see if there's any posts I could make resurface that had stopped circulating, right? The funny thing is I'll go on reblog sprees, so I actually hadn't listened to the audio when I reblogged it. I was only informed of what it said when I saw others freak out about it.

Daily Show with Craig Kilborn. Why it's my fav? Well, aside from being adorable and iconic, it landed my youtube channel in the lost media wiki! How I found it is actually quite easy, when you look up fansites on the web archive you can do specific search for the files the web archive has saved from it. Turns out sometimes quicktime files work! Four parts were in canniballovers and one in dtisfu if I remember correctly, I just edited them together and posted it. Still wish someone could find it in better quality though. 😔

I'm gonna list a bunch of pictures now... because there's many. 😭 But my absolute N1 is probably the Halloween Robert Smith Trey picture. How I found it is simple, just looking up random words on facebook. Probably "trey parker", nothing special. This and this from the Ron Jeremy website on the web archive, though I think maybe the second one had already been circulating I'm not exactly sure. Showgirl Halloween Trey. The kiss pictures. Pink haired Trey!! This NATPE (?) picture. These older Trey pics where he's serving absolute cunt. This Lapdance/Sundance (?) pic. And these too. This reverse cap one altho this was from twitter I don't think I was the first to come across it tbh. These three from the "A Million Laughs" fb page... Bowl hat... Trey with the blue umbrella full pic... tho I wouldn't say I "found it" only that I got to it first the day it was posted... Trey in the matching christmas pajama from 2018... I'm gonna stop but my heart is pretty big and I like all pics...

These measly 7 secs of SDCC footage only because of the first mattrey pic included because that pose from Trey is everythinggg.

This oscars clip because Trey does such a graceful hair flip 😭

Le Petit Package pics though all I did was waltz into the lost media thread and see they had been posted...

The forbidden mattrey slides which we may never see... these were all from worthpoint, which is just a website that archives past ebay bids.

Annual Diversity Awards for the Trey serve ofc.

And finally, I'm very partial to "Matt's a cock".

As to how I come across anything... it's lots of free time. Like I'm talking hours daily just picking a random lead and following it. It may be a website you think hasn't been thoroughly searched (I've tried fb, ig, twitter, worthpoint, ebay, wordpress, tripod, weebly, various fansites on webarchive, footage.net, bilibili/baidu, vimeo, dailymotion, flickr, a load of sketchy other websites I don't remember anymore... basically trey parker has brought me to places I wouldn't go with a gun...) a combination of words, a new search engine that may give u different results (I've tried the ones listed in the lost media wiki guide, my favorite is startpage). Using targeted searching like "word" or site:x "word" or "word combo" before:year, basically trying to make google your bitch. I also use gettyimages like a visual wiki of events Trey's been to+the date, it's quite useful... ik you didn't ask the "how" part but aaaa I like talking about it 😭 I have a lot of fun. Even though sometimes I just come up empty handed even after hours of research. More often than not tbh. Also I'm an obsessed weirdo who checks the words "trey parker" daily on twitter, tumblr, ig, fb, yt, web archive and ebay. 🫠

And also the concept of finding is weird because it has happened to me that I thought I had found something and then it actually had been circulating already, so I tried really hard to answer you by only listing stuff I was fairly sure hadn't been circulating before I got to it, but I mean... it doesn't really matter! I'm here to serve, I just like sharing whatever stuff I run into, it'll happen that it's new to me but it really isn't. 😵‍💫 I try...

I like this too also but I didn't find it, it was pretty available already fjdkg you know Jack Shih was at that dodgeball event?

Favorite funfact that I haven't had a chance to share yet, so now you know!

#trey parker #matt stone #web archive #ask #hope this reply doesnt come across like i like the smell of my own farts LMAO im not claiming any of these are mine!!!!! like #i dont want credit and shit. go forth my children #these r my favs tho!!!!!! im obsessed with them

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3416 · 2 years ago

Text

Capitals’ Rasmus Sandin reflects on shock of Maple Leafs trade, finding role with new team

By: Joshua Kloke | Mar 21, 2023 | The Athletic

At first, Rasmus Sandin didn’t want to listen to what he was being told.

On the rink at the Kraken Community Iceplex in Seattle on Feb. 28, Sandin was moments away from his rep in a practice drill when he got a tap on the shoulder from Leafs assistant coach Dean Chynoweth. Sandin was wanted by a Leafs media relations member.

Sandin gave Chynoweth a quizzical look and told him he’d get to the request later.

“You’ve got to go now,” Chynoweth told him.

Beside the rink, Sandin was informed he had to see Leafs GM Kyle Dubas immediately.

“That walk felt very long,” Sandin told The Athletic.

Sandin stood stunned as Dubas delivered the news that the first draft pick he had ever made as Maple Leafs GM, and a player once thought of as a centrepiece to the Leafs’ future on defence, was being traded to the Washington Capitals.

“(Dubas) told me it wasn’t really something he wanted to do. But he felt like this was best for the team and also a good situation for me to go to Washington,” Sandin said.

With that, Sandin’s practice, and time as a Maple Leaf, was over. A whirlwind three weeks has followed for Sandin. He has spent the majority of his time as a Capital on the road, and he has logged over 20 minutes per game on the ice, something he last did in December for the Leafs. With that ice time, Sandin has posted an impressive 11 points in eight games with his new team.

The trade and increased playing time has given the 23-year-old a new lease on life, and an opportunity, in his words, “to show Toronto that they did something wrong with trading me.”

Over the course of a wide-ranging 20-minute phone interview, Sandin looked back on his time in Toronto, the trade that surprised him, and his future in Washington.

Rasmus Sandin wants to set the record straight.

“I did not request a trade out of Toronto,” he said. “I had literally no idea I was getting traded.”

Despite rumours to the contrary, likely a by-product of an emerging talent who didn’t get the kind of playing time that talent might dictate in Toronto, Sandin insists he never once thought about requesting a trade either. After he was drafted in the first round in 2018, Sandin moved from the Soo Greyhounds to the AHL’s Toronto Marlies. He had the on-ice smarts, the vision and the puck-moving skills that made him look like a decent grab at No. 29.

And maybe, if his skating and understanding of how to pick his spots defensively came around, he could become a top-four, power-play quarterback down the road too.

There were no serious questions about his development through his first season in the AHL and his second pro season, in which he split time between the Marlies and the Leafs. A foot injury hampered his playing time in 2020-21, though he was part of the Leafs’ playoff lineup for five games against the Montreal Canadiens in 2021. Perhaps the first genuinely concerning questions about whether Sandin could be depended on in important moments were raised during Game 5 of that first-round series, when two of his turnovers led to Canadiens goals in a loss.

In 2021-22, the final of his entry-level deal, Sandin was beset by injuries. He looked like a capable bottom-pairing defenceman, sure, but regular top-four minutes didn’t come.

“In my mind, it was always about battling for a spot,” Sandin said. “They had such a deep defence core, which is a good thing because everyone is battling every single day for a spot in the lineup.”

So coming into this season, it was fair to wonder where Sandin fit with the Leafs long term. He looked on the verge of breaking out, but Dubas had assembled a team capable of competing now. Among Leafs defencemen who were on the team before the trade deadline, Sandin again sat sixth in average time on ice. And though he’d received some more power-play responsibilities, he’d been lapped by his friend and fellow young blueliner Timothy Liljegren in ice time.

Sandin will always be linked to Liljegren in Toronto, fairly or not. Both are Swedish defencemen, first-round picks who rely on their hockey IQ — and were chosen in back-to-back years.

And Dubas was looking for both to sign similar bridge deals this past offseason. Liljegren bit on a two-year, $2.8-million deal in June 2022 as Sandin remained unsigned. Questions about his future in Toronto were amplified.

“What people don’t know is that my mom got sick in the beginning of 2022. She got cancer. She had some serious surgeries. We had a really tough time as a family that summer. That’s a big part of why I stayed at home, so I could spend time with her. People don’t know about that. That’s fine with me because I knew it, and Toronto knew it and they were fine with it,” Sandin said.

So while those questions remained at the start of training camp, Sandin stayed at his home in Sweden, unsigned.

“To be honest, my head wasn’t (in Toronto). For me, family comes first. My head wasn’t in hockey to go back to Toronto to sign a contract (in June),” Sandin said. “It was important to have my mom’s back.”

Sandin’s brother Linus returned to Sweden to play in the SHL after two professional seasons with the Philadelphia Flyers organization, which included his NHL debut in 2021-22.

“Being in Toronto with the market it is, no matter what, everything is going to be a big deal. That was something I wanted to keep to myself and not distract other guys,” Sandin said.

He still isn’t sure how many other teammates knew about his mother’s diagnosis.

As the leaves began to fall on the trees and Sandin said his mother’s health began to improve, she told him it was time to return to Toronto. He signed a deal with the same term and cap hit as Liljegren’s during training camp.

He finished his Toronto career with 48 points in 140 games, averaging 16:40 per game and has few regrets outside of more team postseason success.

“I wish we could’ve gone further in some of the playoffs,” Sandin said. “Otherwise, I don’t think I would have done things much differently.”

And that attitude is part of why Sandin was so taken aback by the trade out of Toronto. He says he believed in his future with the team.

Sandin was surrounded by friends in Toronto, too. Towards the beginning of this season, there were seven Swedes on the Leafs’ roster, the most of any NHL team.

Yet within a matter of minutes, those friendships were put to the test as Sandin was dealt to the Capitals and forward Pierre Engvall was shipped to the New York Islanders. After that Leafs practice in Seattle concluded, Sandin, Engvall, William Nylander and Timothy Liljegren gathered beside the rink for one last chat.

“It was tough holding back tears,” Sandin said. “It’s more than just hockey.”

“It was a nice moment, to have the chance to say goodbye,” Sandin added. “I’m going to have (them) as best friends for the rest of my life.”

Sandin left the rink, and the Leafs organization, walking arm-in-arm with Nylander.

“It’s tough even talking about it. (Nylander) was telling me how much he was going to miss me. We’ve been so close since even before my time in Toronto. He’s one of my best friends, if not my best friend. He wished me the best of luck, and said, ‘Don’t you dare not talk to me after you leave us,’” Sandin said.

It’s a side of the uber-cool and laid-back Nylander the public isn’t often privy to.

“He is the way a lot of people see him with the confidence and all that. But he’s one of the best human beings I’ve ever met. He has a lot of different sides. Sometimes the rest of the guys who don’t know him don’t get to see this side very often. For me, being close to him, I think I’ve seen every single side of him. I wasn’t too surprised about it, but I was obviously very happy that he showed that side as well,” Sandin said.

Still in shock, Sandin headed south to meet the Capitals in California. Having only packed for 10 days primarily through Western Canada in late winter, Sandin immediately found himself in need of a change of attire.

“I ran out of clothes pretty quick,” he said.

Life with the Leafs had been the only life Sandin had known. No more navy blue Adidas sweatsuits to wear to practices and morning skates. No more sneakers to go with suits for games, with ties optional. The Capitals operate a business-casual dress code, which meant one of the first stops Sandin made was to a local mall for dress shoes and a tie.

Once he was outfitted to the Capitals’ standards, he could focus on “showing what type of player I can be, and am.”

“You want to prove (the Capitals) right that they made a good choice in trading for you,” Sandin said. “And you want to prove your old team wrong.”

The Capitals have given him the runway to do just that. He’s averaged a whopping 24:56 time on ice per game, tops among all Capitals position players.

Now, how long Sandin’s production streak lasts remains to be seen. He’s minus-5 as a Capital and his five-on-five expected goals with the team sits at a paltry 41.42 percent. Six of his 11 points have come on the power play. Still, his increased workload is part of the reason Sandin believes he’s producing on the score sheet at an impressive rate. He feels part of the solution for a Capitals team on the outside looking in at the Eastern Conference playoff picture.

“It’s been a lot of fun just to know that your coaches believe in you, and your teammates believe in you,” Sandin said. “That’s a reason why they wanted to pick me up. They see me as a Washington Capital for a long time. That feels good.”

For the young defenceman, the ice time has helped him move on from the difficulty of leaving close friends. He can’t deny that it feels nice to be wanted and to see a way forward into a prominent role on the ice for years to come.

“I hope to stay here for a long time,” Sandin said.

#toronto maple leafs #washington capitals #rasmus sandin #sandin #hockeymedia #this makes me feel so...... he rlly had no idea he was being traded #i also hope everyone who was being snide abt him 'holding out for a deal' feels some instant bad karma abt this one lmao.#this makes me sad. the part abt willy... UGH I CANT DEAL #swedes on tour

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religion-is-a-mental-illness · 2 years ago

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By: Neirin Gray Desai

Published: Feb 23, 2023

Black Panther communist Angela Davis - who teaches that U.S. was built by racist colonizers - faces calls to pay reparations after genealogy show reveals her white puritan ancestor arrived in America on the Mayflower

• Angela Davis, 79, learned that her ancestor came to the US on the Mayflower • The former Black Panther also discovered she had two white grandparents • She appeared on PBS's Finding Your Roots in an episode that aired on Tuesday

A famed Black Panther who's also a communist has faced calls to pay reparations after discovering her ancestors were white puritans who arrived in the US on the Mayflower.

Angela Davis, 79, was flabbergasted to discover both sides of her family were white, and that her mom's ancestors were slave owners, on PBS show Finding Your Roots.

And the stunning revelations sparked calls for the famously woke Marxist University of California professor to herself pay reparations, having previously called on whites to pony-up in the past.

Sharing a tweet about the show, conservative pundit Matt Walsh wrote: 'It gets better. She's also descended from a slave owner. On her father's side is a pilgrim. On her mother's side is a slave owner. Looks like Angela Davis owes some reparations.'

Another Twitter user called AK Kamara wrote: 'Angela Davis, the radical Marxist and former black panther, recently discovered she is also the ancestor of colonizers and slave owners. I guess she owes herself reparations. This timeline is hilarious.'

Davis became nationally known in 1970 when guns she owned were used in the holding up of a Marin County courtroom in California which left four dead, including the judge.

After the FBI issued a warrant for her arrest she went on the run and became listed as one of the department's 10 Most Wanted. After her eventual arrest she spent 16 months in jail before being found not guilty.

Davis was born in Birmingham, Alabama, in 1944 during an era of segregation and violent racial division in the South.

While studying in West Germany in her youth she was drawn to far-left politics and upon returning to the US became involved with the Black Panthers and the Communist Party USA.

She appeared shocked during the TV interview that aired this week in which Finding Your Roots host Henry Louis Gates, Jr. told her of her ancestry.

'No. I can't believe this. My ancestors did not come here on the Mayflower,' she said - only to be later told that they did indeed arrive in the US aboard the famed pilgrim ship.

The Mayflower was an English boat that brought white English families, known as the Pilgrims, to the American continent to permanently establish the New England colony in 1620.

'You are descended from the 101 people who sailed on the Mayflower,' reiterated Gates Jr., who is the director of the Hutchins Center for African and African American Research at Harvard University.

The one-hour show, in which public figures learn about their ancestry, outlined how William Brewster, who traveled aboard the boat with his wife Mary Wentworth Brewster, was Davis's 10th great-grandfather.

Mary was one of only five adult women from the Mayflower to have survived the first winter after arriving in the US and one of only four such to survive until the 'first Thanksgiving' in 1621, which she was said to have helped cook.

The revelation caused many to point out the complexity of ancestry and on social media some suggested that by some logic Davis should pay black reparations.

The concept of reparations - an idea she has endorsed in the past - is that people with ancestors who were enslaved should be financially reimbursed by those whose ancestors enslaved them.

'This vividly illustrates the absurdity of reparations as a concept, among other things,' said one person on Twitter, in response to a clip of the revelation.

'Before any talk about reparations everybody needs to take the ancestry DNA test. I think a lot of people would be shocked to to discover who they were descended from,' said another.

Davis also made discoveries about her mother, Sallye Bell, who was found to be the daughter of a successful white Alabama lawyer who himself descended from a slave owner.

Bell was a school teacher and grew up in a foster home, never knowing either of her biological parents. Her mother had genetics that traced back to Africa but her father was John Austin Darden, who was also involved in politics, and was born in Rockford Coosa, Alabama, in 1879.

'He has my mother's lips,' Davis said as she was presented a photo of her grandfather. 'I can't get used to the fact this is my mother's father.'

A clipping from an old Alabama newspaper shone light on who Darden had been.

'The former publisher of the Goodwater Enterprise, who served as both a representative and a senator at various times from 1914 to 1933, had practiced law here 40 years.'

'Was he a member of the Ku Klux Klan or the white citizens council?' Davis asked. 'That's something I would also want to know. Because in those days in order to achieve that power one had to thoroughly embrace white supremacy.

'I'm both glad and I'm angry. I'm really, really angry,' she added.

As Gates went back further in time things got murkier still. Stephen Darden, her fourth great grandfather, was born in colonial Virginia around 1750.

He was a patriot who played the drums during the Revolutionary War, according to a muster roll. Afterwards he moved from Virginia to Georgia, where he owned a farm and at least six slaves.

'I always imagine my ancestors as the people who were enslaved. My mind and my heart are swirling with all of these contradictory emotions,' said Davis.

'I'm glad on the one hand we've begun to solve this mystery, we have something we didn't have before, but at the same time I think it makes me even more committed to struggling for a better world.

'This world that could give rise to such a beautiful person as my mother was not the world I want to see in the future,' she added.

Davis's father Benjamin Frank Davis grew in up in Lyndon, Alabama. His mother was Mollie Spencer butm similarly, nothing was known about his father.

Alabama Census records indicated that for at least ten years Mollie lived next door to a white man named Murphy Jones. Records stated that he sold her two acres of land for two hundred dollars and that the two were likely relatively close.

Using genetic profiles of Murphy's known living relatives, researchers found multiple matches to Angela, indicating that Jones was her grandfather.

Mollie Spencer's father was named Isom Spencer and was listed as collateral on a loan document filed by a slave owner named William K. Pauling, who owned a plantation in Marengo, Alabama.

'I assume that my ancestors lived on plantations as slaves, but of course I didn't know who they were and I didn't know who the slave owners were,' she said.

It transpired that Isom was a remarkable figure who marked the transition of her family from enslaved to free. Court records uncovered by PBS showed he even brought a complaint against the slaver over his nephews, who were being held in the plantation under 'apprenticeships'.

'I'm happy to find there's a motif of resistance there because that is what I feel I've been trying to do since I was a teenager,' said Davis, reflecting on her grandfather's struggle.

Couldn't happen to a better bigger race-baiter. It's even better than the time Henry Rogers blew up his entire schtick with one tweet. It's kind of like David Duke finding out he's the descendant of African slaves. They should do Nikole Hannah-Jones next.

It will be interesting to see how much - or, more likely, how little - integrity she has in the face of this information. Will she reconsider the fraudulent scholarship she's injected into her bogus academic domain, of which she's now on the other side? Or will she adhere to it and admit to the same inherited complicity, benefit and guilt in colonialism and slavery, not to mention the racism her ideology (and historical revisionism) claims is the founding principle and primary inheritance of the USA?

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howwelldoyouknowyourmoon · 2 years ago

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New York City judge issued a warrant for the arrest of a Sun Myung Moon disciple who tried to prevent a girl from leaving

“Would-be Moonie says Church plans to kill”

The Reporter Dispatch White Plains, N.Y., Saturday, March 27, 1976

By Barbara Ross, Staff Writer

A New York City judge issued a warrant Thursday for the arrest of a Sun Myung Moon disciple who is accused of trying to physically bar a Hicksville, Long Island, girl from leaving a Unification Church center in Brooklyn.

Judge Jerome Vail acted after the Hicksville girl, Helayne Ordover, 18, and Dr. George Swope of Port Chester told him “there is more involved here than just a case of harassment.”

Miss Ordover said she decided to leave the Brooklyn center alter Elizabeth Williams (the woman charged with criminal harassment) allegedly told the recruit that Moon’s Unification Church will start issuing guns next year for members to “kill” opponents of the cult.

Miss Williams did not appear in court Thursday and repeated efforts to reach her failed.

In an interview, Miss Ordover said she was attracted to Unification after reading about it in Long Island newspapers.

“I LIKED the idea of a bunch of young people living together,” she recalled. Miss Ordover said she was living at home, working “odd jobs,” and studying hard to take an equivalency exam to get a high school diploma.

Miss Ordover said she attended several lectures at Unification’s Hempstead center before deciding to participate in one of the group’s weekend workshops.

On Thursday, Feb. 19, she said she spent three hours selling candy “to help retarded kids” for an interlocking Moon group called One World Crusade. The girl said she collected almost enough money to pay the $15 fee charged her for participating in the weekend seminar.

Friday evening, Miss Ordover left home against the advice of her parents and Rabbi Maurice Davis of White Plains whom the girl had contacted earlier.

The young woman said she was taken to Unification’s Brooklyn center, at 3235 Nostrand Ave. and attended long hours of lectures by group leaders.

“By Saturday afternoon, I was really starting to believe it. They have answers for everything,” she said.

Sunday morning, however, Miss Ordover said she was “shocked” when her team leader, Miss Williams, said that starting next year, “We would have to be prepared to kill anyone not a believer of the Rev. Moon.

“I REALLY couldn’t believe it, she said. “It really scared me.”

Soon after that. Miss Ordover said, she quickly departed leaving her suitcase behind.

A few hundred feet from the center, Miss Ordover continued, she met Miss Williams who she said “held onto my coat and told me to go back now and repent for my sins.”

‘‘I told her I didn’t believe in her religion and that Rev. Moon is full of crap, but she wouldn’t leave me alone. For four blocks she walked with me, holding onto my sleeve.

“Then,” Miss Ordover continued, “she pushed me against the wall of a building, held my arm and asked how dare I walk away. I punched her in the face and ran for the police.”

At the 61st Precinct house, Miss Ordover filed a complaint. She also persuaded the police and her father who had been called in from Hicksville to return to the center to retrieve another weekend recruit who had wanted to leave Saturday but had been persuaded to stay longer.

Miss Ordover said she has received several threatening phone calls since pressing charges against Miss Williams.

“They said I’d be a ‘sorry girl’ if I went through with it,” she declared, adding:

“THEY PREACH love and goodness but they just want to take over the world and they don’t care who they hurt in the process.”

_________________________________

Physically restrained against his will at Barrytown

UC leaders stole passports from guests at California workshops

#moonies #Sun Myung Moon #Unification Church #recruitment #coercion

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tavolgisvist · 4 months ago

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The suits

Think, I don't want to clog the idontwanttospoiltheparty's post so put my comments here. @idontwanttospoiltheparty wrote good tags

I was just thinking about the suits too. And I came to the same conclusion: the suits as a way to express dissatisfaction with something else. Look,

1971 (the trial for the dissolution of The Beatles etc):

He was a theatrical man rather than a businessman, and with us he was a bit like that. He literally fucking cleaned us up. And there were great fights between him and me, over years and years, of me not wanting to dress up. He and Paul had some kind of collusion... to keep me straight. Because I kept spoiling the image, like the time I beat up a guy at Paul's twenty-first (birthday). I nearly killed him, because he insinuated that me and Brian had an affair in Spain. I was out of me mind.

(John Lennon, September 5th, 1971, St. Regis Hotel in New York City, interview with Peter McCabe and Robert Schonfeld)

and 1975 (meeting with Paul in 1974 and after):

Q: How true is the myth that Brian Epstein packaged the Beatles? А: Everything is true and not true about everything. That’s one thing I’ve learned. Both things are both true. Q: That’s a very Yoko answer … But was there a point where you four were very naive? А: Oh, we weren’t naive. We were no more naive than he was. I mean what was he, he was serving in a record shop. And he saw this group of sort of rockers … or greasers playing loud music and a lot of kids paying attention to it. So he thought well, this is a business to be in. He liked the look of us, and thought, I’ll be a manager. It was as simple as that. He said, I think I can manage you, and we had nobody better, and we said, All right, you can do it. Then he went shopping around, getting us work, and then there came to a bit when he said, Look, if you cut your hair… Q: How long was it? А: For then, it was longer than any of the photographs. Normally, in any photograph, it had been trimmed or cut. Even school photographs—have you noticed that— your hair always seemed to be cut the day before they took the school photograph. Or whenever you had a photograph of your holidays, somehow the parents or somebody always managed to cut your hair. But there’s some private pictures where it was pretty long for those days, longer than the early pictures. And it was still greased back, and outside of Liverpool, when we went down South in the leather outfits, the dance-hall promoters didn’t really like us, because they thought we looked like a gang of thugs. So Epstein said, Look, if you wear this suit … and we liked suits, everybody wanted a good suit, a nice black, sharp suit, man … you know, yeah, man, I’ll have a suit. So, if you wear a suit, you get this much money. All right, wear a suit, you get more money, wear a suit, I’ll wear a fucking balloon if they’re going to pay me. He was our salesman. He was our front. If you notice, another quirk of life is that self-made men usually have someone with education to front for them. Epstein had enough education to go in and talk to the hobnobs in their own language, and it’s the same now. If I have a lawsuit, I have to get a lawyer to talk to them. Epstein fronted for the Beatles. He played a great part at whatever he did; he was theatrical, that was for sure, and he believed in us. But he certainly didn’t package us the way they said [he did]. Look, we weren’t picked up off the street, we allowed him to take us. Paul wasn’t so keen [on him], Paul’s more conservative in the way he approaches things, and that’s all well and good—maybe he’ll end up with more yachts.

(John Lennon, FEB 19, 1975, interview with Lisa Robinson)

Different years, different circumstances - and different reactions to the suits.

And we remember Brian wasn't the first person who dressed John in a suit (haha I have a reason to quote Len Garry and add a link to amoralto):

“Yeah yeah, it’s all very well, Paul,” muttered John. “Just because your Dad played in some old time music hall in the thirties doesn’t mean we should go on stage wearing white coats. People will think we’re a bunch of fairies.” “Wait a minute, John, I’m burning the toast.” Paul, clattering about in the kitchen, seemed oblivious to John’s emphatic statement. He then came out of the kitchen with a pile of buttered toast on a large plate for the ravenous horde waiting. “What did you say? I couldn’t hear you properly; oh, the white coats, is that what you’re on about? What’s your problem with that? Look John, it’s about time we started smartening up our image because we can’t go on looking like a gang of ruffians just dragged off the streets,” retorted Paul. “We must look professional – we’re on the stage, in the public eye, and appearances are important. If we start looking the part then perhaps you may even be able to get your chords right.” Paul said this last point in a jovial manner, not wishing to rouse John’s temper, as he knew even after short acquaintance with John that he could soon ‘fly off the handle’ if provoked. John seemed unperturbed by the insinuation that Paul was making about his professionalism (or lack of it). There was a silence for a couple of minutes as we all munched on our buttered toast. “Yeah okay – but white coats? I can’t see myself in one of those. Anyway, where would we get them from?” “Never mind that – Nigel will sort that out. Look, it will be you and me up front from now on as main guitarists and vocalists so it’ll look good, the both of us wearing the same gear. It will be white coats, white shirts and black bow ties – the rest of the group can wear white shirts and black bow ties.” John still seemed undecided and looked to me for support. “What do you think, Len?” he asked. “I think the answer lies in the soil,” I said, trying to bring a bit of humour into what seemed to me a contest building up between two strong personalities, each having been used to getting their own way. Continuing in a none-too-serious vein, “But then again I think that you two don’t need us anymore, we’re has-beens.” [...] “Come on, Len, be serious for a minute. What do you think?” repeated John, who was by this time desperate for support. “I honestly think it’s worth a try and it will probably improve our image,” I said half-heartedly. Suddenly John resorted to his lighter mode. “Ooh, eh! We will look smart. Why don’t we hire a limousine and dress up as undertakers instead?” he quipped. “Don’t be thick, John, we’d all have to wear black for that,” Eric Griffiths suddenly interjected. “Okay, we’ll all be in white then – it’s agreed,” said Paul. John then started up with a song that had recently been popularised: “A white sport coat and a pink carnation, I’m getting dressed up for a dance.” With that John did a little dance around the room. The Quarrymen Committee had arrived at another major decision without too much rancour.

(John, Paul and Me: Before The Beatles by Len Garry, 1997)

It's interesting, I didn't know:

1963 was the year of the now iconic collarless suit – created for the band by UK tailor, Dougie Millings, whom we learn went on to make over 500 outfits for the group. His collarless creation was conceived in a brainstorming session involving Paul McCartney, who’d originally proposed the idea. Their suits were modeled on an original design by Pierre Cardin, but tweaked to make it a distinctively Beatles’ garment.

(from review of Fashioning the Beatles – The Looks That Shook the World (2023, by Deirdre Kelly)

And the Paul's reason to wear the same suits (from Conversations With McCartney by Paul Du Noyer, 2012):

Later, not long before he died in April 1962, Sutcliffe visited his former group in Liverpool, with Kirchherr on his arm. “He was looking thin and pale, and he must’ve been taking medication, because, like the letter from him reproduced in the book, which is very James Joyce-y and surreal, he was sometimes just floating, and then all of a sudden, he wasn’t,” McCartney recalls. “There’s a picture in the book of Astrid, with her very short, Mia Farrow-type hair, John and Stu outside the Cavern. Not long after that, we were all down there, in the Cavern, and I remember Stu and Astrid walking in, and Stu had this ordinary jacket, but without the collar. We all pissed ourselves laughing. He was not happy, because we didn’t get it, the style. But then, when he died, those famous Beatles collarless jackets, they’re in homage. They weren’t Beatles jackets. They were Stu’s jacket.”

(Mike McCartney, June 2022, interview with Jeff Slate)

The Beatles have no pockets in their trousers and only two side pockets in their jackets. Paul designed them.

(NEW FACTS ON THE FAB 4 From Fabulous magazine, 1965 - Craig Brown, 150 Glimpses of the Beatles, 2020)

Part (I), (II), (III), (IV), (V)

#the beatles #paul mccartney #john and paul #the suits #dougie millings #deirdre kelly #paul du noyer #mike mccartney #stu sutcliffe #interview: paul #interview: john #craig brown

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