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dreamersparacosm · 5 hours ago

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jeon jungkook - if we were us (part one)

warnings ; none

prompt ; in which life gives you and Jungkook one more chance to hold on.

note ; AH. IT'S HERE. i won't lie, finding where i wanted this story to start was extremely difficult and took me way longer than i want to admit. but after 2939393 cups of coffee and 393949 emhen inspirational quotes i made it. i have never been more excited about a piece of writing in my life!! for context, i began writing when i was 12 and have written numerous works over 200k words, but once i got to college, diverted to only one-shots and shorter fics to give myself time to live. now that i'm way too old to be on this app, i have time on my hands to actually enjoy writing stories and it both terrifies and excites me if you could see the notion file i have on this story you'd prob understand my anxiety a little more. on the bright side though, this is basically me signing a contract to stay on tumblr for at least another 6-8 months (or however long this story will take to complete.) all this to say, this story is incredibly nuanced and every character has flaws, trials, tribulations, yada yada. i hope your world is just as chaotic, devastating, exciting and messy as theirs. this is for all the lovers in the world who want a second chance. may it be sweeter than the first.

playlist here

series masterlist here

[YOUR POV]

You’ve always liked the rain.

There’s something oddly comforting about it. The quiet hush of the droplets. The way it softens the edge of the world, but follows no pattern to its madness.

Pretty much all your firsts have happened in the rain.

The first time you were dropped off for a playdate without crying, your shoes squelched against the pavement, raincoat sticking to the backs of your knees. The first time a friend hugged you was in middle school, outside of a 7-Eleven. The sky had opened up without warning, and you both laughed through it, soaked to the bone. Your first kiss was under a shared umbrella that kept tipping sideways, clumsy and warm and like two puzzle pieces that wouldn’t fully fit together but gave the illusion they might for a moment in time. He tasted like cherry gum and a thunderstorm that was gone too quickly.

The rain reminds you of beginnings. Unlike endings, they require no permission. They simply appear, uninvited, leaving behind fertile ground for whatever comes next.

Morning light creeps in between the cracks of the blinds. A familiar heaviness weighs your eyes down, the air in the room cold in the way it always is when it rains outside. You shift slightly beneath the comforter, legs stretching out until your toes hit the edge of the mattress. Behind you, his arm tightens instinctively around your waist.

You feel a soft groan rumble against your spine, breath fanning the back of your neck. Your body pauses its movement for a second, suspended between comfort and obligation.

Outside, the rain taps against the window louder now. A familiar sound that makes you want to follow his actions and bury yourself into the thick sheets, pretend you have nowhere else to be.

You really don’t want to get up. Clearly, neither does he.

The pads of his fingers shift against your hip, digging into the bare skin. You can’t help but smile a little, even though it’s tired and small.

“Joonie,” you murmur, voice thick with slumber. “I need to get up.”

That earns you another groan. A little louder, more dramatic. His face presses into your shoulder. “Mm. Five more minutes,” he mumbles. “World won’t end if you’re late.”

You want to believe him, but the kids in your class would say otherwise.

You appease him, stay for one more breath. Maybe two. Normally, you wouldn't give yourself the extra grace. But it’s raining and beginnings are easier this morning. Plus, your boyfriend seems to be the human version of a teddy bear right now and you’re finding it quite endearing.

Five more minutes, that’s what you give yourself. You don’t look at the clock or count the seconds. Time slips past slowly as you turn over and press your face into the side of his, kissing his cheek, jaw, the patch of skin just below his ear that’s always so soft.

He doesn’t react much besides a sigh. His hold on your waist loosens as he recognizes your signal, your quiet touch that says you’re getting up.

You slip out of bed carefully, trying not to shake the mattress too much. His t-shirt is bunched around your hips, creased and bunched from sleep. When you stand, it falls low to your thighs, brushing against your skin.

The hardwood floor is cold under your feet. Rubbing at your eyes with the back of your hand, you drag yourself back into consciousness the best you can at 7 AM in the morning.

You cross the room, flip the bathroom light on and begin your routine. It’s nothing glamorous, but when you work with children all day, this is the one part of the day you get to yourself. The version of you that isn’t constantly giving, fixing or soothing. Some mornings, it’s the only thing that keeps you sane.

Your reflection in the mirror blinks back at you, fogged at the edges by the sleep still lingering in your expression. Halfway through brushing your teeth, you hear the creak of the mattress followed by the shuffle of feet across the floor.

Namjoon appears in the mirror, hair poking in ten different directions, leaning against the doorframe like his weight is too heavy to carry upright at this hour.

“You look serious,” he teases.

You glare at him sarcastically through the mirror and shrug, mouth full of minty toothpaste.

“Deep thoughts?” he asks, stepping closer. He places a warm hand on your waist, his thumb dragging lightly across his shirt you’re still wearing. “Existential crisis already, and it’s not even 7:30, baby.”

You hum in acknowledgement around your toothbrush, raising an eyebrow. He presses a kiss to the side of your head.

“What does your day look like?” he questions, reaching around you to grab the floss on the counter.

You spit the foamy paste, wipe your mouth with the sink water. “I’ve got this new lesson plan I’m trying out. I’m hoping it lands well but knowing my kids, they’re going to make a mess.”

“Mess?” He cuts the piece of floss.

“We’re using paint to help solve math problems.” Not your best idea. In hindsight, it sounded like it would heal your inner child but in practice, it’s definitely going to end with you cleaning paint off your jeans for the next two weeks.

“Sounds exhausting,” He leans into the mirror to see his teeth better.

“And you?” You meet his eyes in the reflection, smiling briefly.

“Mm,” he pauses to run the floss between his teeth before speaking. “Work call at 10. Then coding a shit ton of our new website features. Jin also asked me to look at paint samples with him, which will take approximately four more hours than it needs to.”

You snort out a laugh, “That’s what you get for agreeing to help with his kitchen.”

“Thought I was being a good friend,” he throws out his floss, grabbing his toothbrush out of the holder. “Kinda also wanted the free lunch.”

“Jin already thinks you’re a great friend, baby,” You splash some cold water on your face, trying to liven up your skin. “You know that.”

You’ve known Jin since college. He was always loyal — the kind of friend who showed up with takeout boxes when you were sad, who knew your exam schedules better than you did, who cracked your shell before others even brought out the hammer. You don't talk everyday, but when you do, it always feels like you’re picking up mid-conversation.

Back when you and Namjoon were just hooking up, seeing where life took you, you introduced Jin to him. He was overprotective like an older brother in a sitcom, side-eyeing Namjoon between bites of ramyeon. Now, the two of them argue about kitchen appliances like they’re married and have a shared spreadsheet for wine recommendations you’re not allowed to edit.

Sometimes you wonder if Namjoon fell in love with Jin and you were an afterthought.

Namjoon chuckles while putting paste on his toothbrush, “He better. I sat in his house for two hours last week listening to him talk about that new guy he’s seeing and I… heard things no one should have to hear.”

“I thought we agreed not to talk about Jin’s sex life with him,” You poke his side as you lean against the sink, watching your boyfriend with amusement.

He spits out the toothpaste, waving the brush in the air animatedly. “You agreed. I tried to agree and got roped into it anyway.”

Rolling your eyes, you push yourself off the sink with your palms and go, “Breakfast?”

He nods at you, and you disappear down the hall, arms wrapped tightly around your body to block off as much of the cold air as possible.

Your mornings have always been trivial. Insignificant in the grand scheme of the universe. You move on autopilot: pan on low heat, fridge door creaking open, eggs gathered in one hand, butter in the other. The coffee machine gurgles in the corner. His favorite mug — the one with the chipped rim and the ugly cartoon bear on it — is already out on the counter. You know he likes his eggs over easy, toast not too burnt, coffee with a splash of creamer.

You barely think about these things anymore.

It’s not like he ever asked you to be this way in the morning. Never said a word about it, or gave any sort of hint, never played helpless in front of the stove. But it was an invisible task that folded in on your routine without ever being discussed.

It’s what love looks like, you remind yourself. The quiet dig of learning each other’s habits, small sacrifices piling up like layers beneath your feet.

It doesn’t bother you. You like to give. You remember birthdays without setting calendar reminders, refill the Brita before it’s empty. And it’s not that people don’t love you back. You're just always a few steps ahead, already halfway into caring before anyone else even notices there was something to do.

Namjoon walks in as you’re cracking the eggs, eyes still droopy with sleep. He’s no longer shirtless, now in his forest green hoodie he always wears when he works from home, which these days, appears to be more often than not. He yawns into his fist before grabbing two plates from the cabinet and setting them down beside you.

“You beat me to it,” he taunts, gently bumping your hip.

You hum, flipping the eggs with the new spatula his mom got you last week. “Didn't know it was a race.”

He chuckles, rubbing a hand across the back of his neck. “I was gonna offer. Technically, last week, I made the coffee.”

“Mm. The machine made coffee, baby. You pressed the button.”

He doesn’t respond to you.There’s not much more to say to that. Instead he leans down and presses a kiss to your cheek. It almost feels like punctuation. Like a period that stops any other words from leaving your mouth.

He’s quiet for another second, then breaks the silence in the air, “We still good to go to that baby shower on Sunday?”

You vaguely remember him telling you about his coworker’s pregnancy. All you know is it was an event that showed up on your shared calendar in the kitchen, circled in red and scrawled in messy handwriting.

You nod as you plate the eggs, “Yup. Two o’clock, right?”

“Precisely.” Namjoon runs a hand through his unruly dark brown hair. “Seo-yeon mentioned something about a bouncy house?”

“A bouncy house?” you repeat incredulously as you hand him his plate. “At a baby shower?”

“She said the baby can’t use it but the adults should still have fun.” He shrugs like it makes perfect sense. Seo-yeon, his coworker at the tech startup he works for, has always been an eccentric female. You’ve met her a handful of times, but that was more than enough to understand why Namjoon refers to her as an ‘old soul.’ A bouncy house at her baby shower doesn’t even crack the top ten on the list of things that surprise you.

You giggle under your breath, passing him the plate. “If you catch me in the bouncy house, just know I had one too many mimosas.”

Namjoon rounds your tiny kitchen table, settling down in the chair. “Do we need to bring anything?”

You hesitate for a moment. You don’t really have the heart to tell him you went down to the market last week to pick up a blanket and bear set for her. But you know if you dodge the question, he’ll ask again in a few days. “I already got the gift.”

You hear him start to chew, fork scraping against the plate. “Cool. Thanks, baby.”

You think he’ll ask you what you got Seo-yeon, but he doesn’t.

You walk over to the coffee machine, pouring out the dark liquid into your respective mugs. Splash of cream for him. Three sugars and milk for you. You set his cup in front of him, ceramic clinking softly against the table, before heading back to the countertop and retrieving your own plate and mug to match.

When you settle in front of him, he peers into your mug. “I don’t know how you drink that.”

To further prove his own point, he takes a sip, immediately wincing. “God,” he mumbles. “That’s not coffee. That’s dessert.”

“I like it sweet.”

“Offensively sweet.” He deposits your mug back down on your side of the table as if quarantining a biohazard. He’s a broken record at this point, always reminding you that one day, you’ll get a cavity from how sugary you prefer your drinks. Like a ghost that haunts every breakfast table discussion about your choice of beverage.

“Well.” You tuck a piece of toast into your mouth. “Not all of us are fueled by burnt beans and overpriced creamer.”

He laughs at that, the sound ricocheting across kitchen surfaces. He’s always been easy to talk to, to sit beside in the stillness of early mornings where the world hasn’t quite remembered it exists yet.

“One day, I’m going to get you to drink black coffee,” he teases. “Whatever it takes.”

“Don’t hold your breath,” you laugh as you cut up another piece of your eggs.

“You still doing the bug project with your kids?” he asks, and you feel a wash of gratitude for the change in conversation topic.

You nod, sighing, “Day three. Which means today’s the day someone accidentally steps on an ant farm and cries about it like it was their childhood pet.”

His mouth curves upward, eyes crinkling, “Weren’t you the one who said this year’s class was your most emotionally stable?”

“They are,” you insist around a mouthful of toast. “However, they did stage a protest yesterday when I tried to throw out a dead butterfly. Held a moment of silence and everything. I’m pretty sure they’re building it a grave out of popsicle sticks.”

Namjoon nearly chokes on his eggs. “I’m impressed.”

“You should come by sometime. Meet the little fuckers who take up all my time.” You’re half-joking, half-not. The last (and only) time he visited your classroom was the holiday party where you first met, when he was someone else’s reluctant plus one. You often watch other teachers partners’ appearing at classroom doors, bearing lunch and casual affection.

He shakes his head. “I barely survived kindergarten on my own.”

Between bites, he adds, “Got that deployment to push through today. Something’s breaking in the new UI, but I can't tell if it’s the framework or the entire infrastructure.”

You blink at him, chewing thoughtfully. “Wow. Sexy.”

“I know,” he smirks. “Almost as sexy as your bug project.”

You place a hand over your heart, sarcastically swooning. “God, nothing gets me going like scalable infrastructure.” Words harvested from his work calls — incomprehensible things you say without understanding the origins.

He lifts a hand in mock warning. “You better pray I don’t start talking about data streams before you finish breakfast.”

You snort, taking another sip of your coffee. “Enjoy your precious code. I’ll be elbows deep in glue and paint by 9 AM.”

Namjoon finishes his coffee before you do, setting the mug on the sink. When he passes, he kisses your temple, hand grazing your back like water over stones, “Have a good day, baby.”

You nod, already pushing your chair back once your eyes catch on the kitchen clock’s accusatory hands. “You too.”

He disappears down the hall towards his makeshift home office, leaving behind the scent of coffee and the cologne you bought him last Christmas. You stay at the table a second longer. Long enough to sip what’s left of your coffee, now lukewarm and overly sweet. Long enough to listen to the rain tapping against the windows like it’s trying to say something you can’t make out.

Long enough for you to wonder when sweet started tasting like something you needed to apologize for.

“An iced mocha latte? Did anyone order the iced mocha latte?”

Your favorite barista's voice rings throughout the quaint coffee shop, bystanders perking up in hopes of hearing their order called. Everyone collectively deflates when they see a frantic woman barrel past apologetically, reaching for a drink that clearly isn’t theirs.

You don’t bother lifting your head up. Poor Jiwoo. She’s been manhandling the coffee shop by the school you work at since the day you started, and she might be the only barista who understands how much sugar you typically prefer in your coffee.

If she ever leaves the shop, you’re pretty sure you’d have to transfer school districts out of grief alone.

You prefer to leave early for work, leaving ample time to collect your candied coffee, run through your lesson plan, and gossip with the other teachers for at least ten minutes in the lounge.

Unfortunately, today, you might have to exclude the gossip session you enjoy so much. A tragedy in three acts.

There are two new students starting today, and while you normally enjoy fresh faces in the classroom with different personality types to tame, you already have your hands full between the bug project and the ‘paint your 2+2’s’ activity you very ill-advisedly volunteered to lead.

“Hey, [Y/N],” Jiwoo solemnly leans over the counter where you're perched, waiting patiently as any good samaritan does if they don't want their coffee spat into. Her hair is frizzing at the edges, apron already stained. “I’m so sorry for the wait. Normally I put a rush on yours, but this Monday is really kicking my ass.”

She looks so stressed you almost want to go back there and put on an apron, maybe start whipping up some Iced Americanos.

“It’s no problem,” you wave her away. “You know I always come way too early.”

She gives you an appreciative smile, rushing back to the counter to take more orders. You turn your back to the crowd, enjoying the view outside. There’s a few kids clutching their mother’s hands, businessmen holding briefcases while fighting with umbrellas, a teenage boy hopping puddles like he’s in a video game. Against the windowpane, the rain sticks to the glass, slowly sliding to make space for new ones.

“Hi, can I get an iced vanilla latte?”

You’re close enough to the counter that you’ve started eavesdropping on other’s orders without meaning to. Honestly, an iced vanilla latte sounds pretty good. You once got an iced caramel macchiato before 9 AM though, and you were vibrating like a tuning fork until your last kid went home at 2 PM. The girl’s voice is distressed as she taps her card against the reader, probably running late to work now from the long line.

“Hey, can I get a black coffee? Hot?”

The second voice is different.

It’s a man’s. Can’t be older than mid-30s. It’s lower, calmer. Unrushed. Like honey poured over gravel.

Everything in your body stops functioning.

It’s as if someone snipped the film reel mid-scene. The cafe around you doesn’t gradually fade. It’s replaced by a silence so loud you can hear your own blood rushing through your veins. The clink of cups, the hiss of the milk steamer, the shuffle of feet becomes background collateral, dissolving into white noise.

Your hands clench around nothing. Lungs forget their one job. Your heart reverberates against your ribs like it’s trying to signal an emergency to anyone within radius.

No, that second voice is a voice you haven’t heard in ten years but would recognize in a burning building.

The second voice is a voice that has set up permanent residence in your bone marrow, lingering even after you thought you’d evicted every last trace of him from your system.

You don’t dare turn around.

You stand there, statue-still, staring out the rain-streaked window as if memories don’t curl up and hibernate in your throat, waiting for precisely this moment to wake and stretch.

Your eyes close for a brief second.

When you open them again, the world outside continues its persistent motions. But you, you remain perfectly still, a pause button pressed in the center of the city.

Seoul is a big city. You’re 32 now and far too old to believe in ghosts.

He wouldn’t be here. He made that very clear a decade ago.

You hear another voice begin to recite their order. He’s probably off to the side, somewhere in the shop that is now dwindling down the number of patrons inside as work hours creep up on the clock. You’re too scared to breathe, to even glance one foot in the other direction.

Your eyes instead train ahead on the bag of coffee beans untouched on the counter.

“Iced coffee, three sugars and milk?” Jiwoo comes running over to you, a triumphant grin on her face as if she just defeated the morning rush. “God, I’m so sorry for the wait. Yours is on the house next time.”

“No, it’s no problem,” You lean over and pat her hand, like you’re trying to prove your heart hasn’t actually stopped and you’re still a live human, even though it feels like it might.

You shuffle over to the side station where the honey, tiny wooden stirrers, and other small distractions meant to keep your hands busy are. You grab a few napkins for yourself. You can’t trust your grip right now. In the distance, Jiwoo rattles off some other orders you can’t make out. One of her coworkers comes rushing in, red-faced and apologetic.

You glance up at the clock on the wall. 8:30 AM. You’ve made great time despite the numerous coffee mishaps. And clearly, you need to sit in your chair and take a moment to yourself, because you’re now hallucinating the ghost of college’s past, and it’s too early to do that.

You stir in some honey into your coffee. Taking a slow, deep breath, you turn a half-step with coffee in tow.

And then, because the universe has a spectacular gift for comedic timing, you collide with someone.

Your shoulder meets theirs, your cup shifting in your hand and sending a small wave over the lid’s edge.

“Oh god, I’m so sorry—”

Your eyes are already tracking the damage, focusing on white sneakers now marked with a small splash of brown. Nothing ruinous, but your body finds itself crouching, napkins in hand, some deeply ingrained instinct to make things right taking over.

“No, it’s okay,” the voice says.

It’s the second voice. Gentle. That same calm.

You know this voice the way you know the road home in the dark, the way plants know to grow toward sunlight.

Slowly, you lift your gaze upwards.

He’s older, of course. More settled into himself. The lines around his eyes weren’t there before, shoulders carrying the weight of ten more years of living. His eyes stare into yours, somehow still reading every inch of you despite the decade-long gap.

Reality blurs at the edges. The rain against the window falls silent. The coffee shop with its morning bustle recedes. Your heart hangs suspended from one beat and the next. The napkins fall to the floor, your wobbly legs struggling to stand upright.

On a rainy Monday morning, where beginnings are endless, your ex boyfriend from university, Jeon Jungkook, stands in front of you holding a cup of black coffee in his right hand.

masterlist + ask

taglist ; @arcanekookz @writesvani @yooniepot @whoa-jo @nimmmnikk @readingbee44 @jungshaking @starlight-1010 @jadaocon1 @phoenixxxxstarrrr @jkaxl @butterymin @almatiarau @lovingkoalaface @carriereadsbooks @bhonbhon @lola75111 @yoonstaar @namkookie222 @jeonjenny @lachimochala @kissyfacekoo @libra04 @minimoninini @goldenjeonkoo @ot7even @kopiosuam @annpeachy @literallyjimin @prxdajeon @purplelanterns @neg-l3ct @gguk-lvr @misakiminaa @wisebouquetbarbarian

#jeon jungkook #jungkook #jungkook angst #jungkook fluff #jeon jeongguk #bts #jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #kim namjoon #namjoon #namjoon x reader #bts x reader #bts jungkook #namjoon fanfic #jungkook fanfic

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fuckyeahisawthat · 1 day ago

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I think the key to writing Viktor is remembering that we the audience see far more of him than any character in the show does. Including Jayce. "Emotional and super sensitive but very guarded" is the way Harry Lloyd described it, and I think that sums it up very well. The way you show that in a visual medium is by letting the audience see things that no one else does.

Viktor isn't shy or meek at all, but everything intense about him is so contained. He has an expressive face and big big feelings (like, canonically he comes to the conclusion that his problem is having too many goddamn feelings) but we get to see far more of that than he shows to anyone in his life. Seriously, go back and look at the blocking in his scenes and how often we can see his face when no one else in the scene can. Outwardly he can appear confident, calm, earnest, passionate, wryly funny--at least until he gets too sick to hide his exhaustion and pain. Meanwhile anything that might express a vulnerability, a need, is tucked away where no one can see it.

All those sneaky glances and yearning looks thrown at Jayce? Jayce doesn't see them. Usually there is no one else there either. All his interactions with the Hexcore--the frustration, fear, reckless determination; the apprehension and then triumph of running on the dock? He's alone. Crying over Sky, curled up in a ball on the floor? Alone. Everything in the astral plane--the open curiosity and wonder, the casual physical closeness with Sky's and Vander's astral bodies, the despair after Jayce rejects him? Alone. Astral Sky isn't real; she's a figment made up either by the Hexcore or by his own brain (I think either interpretation works) to make him feel less alone. I 100% believe that no one whose mind he looks into is allowed to look back at him, up until the few moments at the end where he allows Jayce to see him.

When he's angry--and he does get angry--it's a cold, still anger. Contained. He glares and his tone gets sharp but he doesn't so much as raise his voice. He doesn't shout or use big gestures. The one time we see something that might be considered an outburst (when he slams his fist on the desk and scatters his notes in frustration at trying to understand the Hexcore), he is (1) desperate and scared, (2) very clearly angry at himself, and (3) once again, alone.

A bit of a tangent but I think it fits here: this extends to his physicality with his mobility aids too. I realized that the reason "Viktor whacks people with his cane" always bumps me in fics is not just that Viktor isn't casually mean like that--although he's not. It's that when it comes to habitual, everyday movements, he never uses his cane or crutch for anything other than support. He doesn't gesture with it or use it to grab things or stick it out to stop a door from closing. (Which makes the rare instances when he does use it for something other than support really stand out.) It's not like he's hiding it, but he doesn't do anything to draw extra attention to it. He lets it fade into the background as much as possible, for as long as he's able to. Contained. It's a very specific physicality that I think says a lot about how he's trying to be perceived.

And like, to me, lover of wordless longing and isolated/self-isolating characters (which could mean nothing) all this is fucking catnip for fic material, because prose gives you such easy access to a character's interiority, and then you get to watch them hide things from other characters and deny things to themselves. (Love a character being confidently wrong in the privacy of their own head.)

When I'm writing a new pairing I am often trying to figure out, like, what's the tension? The tension on the relationship can be subtle, but if a smut scene is not popping off for me I often find it's because I haven't correctly identified the tension, or I've released it too early. Sometimes the tension is societal or interpersonal, but often (for me) it's internal. The main thing holding the characters back from uncomplicated enjoyment of each other is themselves, their own traumas or fears or insecurities.

I think something clicked for me with Medicinal where I was like, oh, the dynamic I like for them is when their natural state is to stick together like magnets, and they are constantly having to pull themselves back. Viktor doesn't shy away from Jayce's touch or his attention; he craves it and is constantly having to take that firehose of yearning and reel it back in, because he thinks Jayce doesn't feel the same way. Contain it. Yeah man that's the good shit.

P.S. I would be remiss if I didn't include the god tier example of the kind of Viktor POV I'm always striving toward, Uncover Him by spqr.

#arcane #viktor arcane #somewhere between meta and #headcanons #as i am wont to be #fanfic #writing

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kozachenko · 1 day ago

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Behold, my Touhou Project Inscryption Au that I started working on before all the stuff with Touhou 20 went down. Mainly finished this so I could get it out of my head lol.

No one asked for this. No one needed this, but I have free will and this is how I choose to use it lmao.

Artist's Notes;

Full disclaimer I have never played Inscryption before, I have only seen gameplay videos going through the entire game and have watched lore recaps, analyses, and videos on it. I do still love this game though and want to play it someday.

I remember it was during one of my many rewatches of Markiplier's Inscription playthrough (The Flying Uryaruli never gets old, plus they're kinda comfort videos lmao) that I thought of the dumb idea of "what if Chimata was in it?" and thus this idea was born. My initial concept of this was "the devil added microtransactions to his game" (bonus points if you understand that reference), which then evolved into "what if Megumu, Tsukasa, and Momoyo were the other scribes" which then evolved into me thinking way to fucking hard about this idea and deciding to swap out those three for other characters to be the scrybes. I'm sure you can tell who I chose for the new scrybes based on the cards (it's Zanmu and Keiki), though I did leave a hint as to who would be replacing which scrybe in this AU (hint, look at their health and attack line's, Keiki's attack is 1 btw it just got covered up by Zanmu's card). That part will probably become clearer as I develop the concept more (which will probably come in a long while) but in the meantime I'll explain the abilities more.

So I decided to adapt the cost into coins because in my mind, Chimata would focus really really hard on the collectathon trading card aspect. In fact, I imagine that in the beginning of this AU she's say something like, "and if you collect all of the cards, you'll be able to find a special little promo code in them. For what exactly? Well where's the fun in me telling you that now!" As I wrote in the image above (for those who can't read the font it says, "Balancing isn't exactly my forte, so some of the cards I gave you in your base deck have a 50/50 shot of being trash or stupidly overpowered!") Chimata probably doesn't care for the balancing and mainly wants to oversee the exchange in ownership with trading cards. I know characters like Nemuno or Ubame fit Leshy's vibes more but Chimata was kinda the progenitor of this idea and I think it would make more sense for her to care about cards so much so yeah lol (also there is a specific part in Act 1 of the game where I think Chimata's theming with the moon in Stage 6 of UM would work really well).

Also, in this AU, Sumireko would be the protagonist who runs a lost media Youtube channel where she discovers the cartridge with Inscryption in a similar way that Luke did in the OG game.

As for the effects on the cards, I'll go over them briefly:

Zanmu's sigil would negate the effects of the opposing creature's sigil, I was initially gonna give her the "if an opposing card attacks this one, it doesn't" sigil but decided that would be too OP and went for this idea instead.

Keiki's sigil basically functions like the warren sigil in the original game, where upon placing her down on the board she gives the player a free Haniwa card (which would be 1 attack 2 health and no cost). For obvious reasons I think this fits Keiki pretty well.

So the main purpose of this AU isn't to be 1 to 1 with the game's characters personality-wise (for reasons that will become apparent if you know who Keiki is substituting for) but in terms of theming I did try to think about who would fit best (other than Chimata but again, she's kinda got special treatment since I just though the idea of her constantly pulling out microtransactions to get herself more faith or trying desperately to convince Sumireko to get another person to play the game so she has someone to trade with would be funny). Visually this will also look different from Inscryption because...ain't no way I'm replicating that and also I want to use this as an oppurtunity to let myself do harsh lighting because I love doing harsh lighting in my drawings :D

Again, this is going to be an ongoing project of mine that is mainly gonna be shitposts like this. As you can see with the drawing I did not care about rendering the metal scale much and focused more on getting the shading on Chimata right. I also changed some things about her design and added some stuff, mainly changing how her dress pattern works, added some shoulder ornamentation to her cape, and gave her some nice big golden sphere earrings because I know she'd wear something like that.

Not the most proud of this piece (I finished this at around 10:30 at night so I was kinda eepy finishing this up) but for a shitpost, this is really all it need to be tbh.

#touhou project #au #fanart #touhou fanart #shitpost #chimata tenkyuu #zanmu nippaku #keiki haniyasushin #Touhou Project Inscryption AU

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lillaydee · 1 day ago

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I'm Right Here Part 11

BFF!Joel Miller / F Reader

Sometimes the person we've been looking for has been right there all along.

@copperhalfcent, @demonsasss, @bergamote-catsandbooks, @peelieblue @liciafonseca @ultra-nina-bella @joelmillerpascal @kirsteng42 @heartpatch @capnjaket

Let me know if you want to be tagged or removed from the tag list

WARNINGS: BFF Joel Miller, Protective Joel (The Last of Us), Joel is Bad at Feelings (The Last of Us), Good Parent Joel (The Last of Us), Angst, Love Triangles, Miscommunication, Past Child Abuse, Alternate Universe - No Cordyceps Outbreak (The Last of Us), Joel Needs a Hug (The Last of Us), Joel is a Clueless Idiot, Jealousy, Minor Character Death, Implied/Referenced/Supposed Sexual Assault, SEXUAL ASSAULT, SELF HARM, Joel has PTSD

SERIES MASTER LIST

Part 10

You immediately reached for the call button, but before you could press it, she opened the door wider, locking it in place, wide open, the nurses’ station right there in front of your door.

“I’ll leave the door open. I’m not here to hurt you, Daisy, I’m here to explain what happened. I’m here apologize, to own up to the part I played in tearing you and Joel apart. Please. I’ll stay here by the door if I have to. Just please, let me explain,” she begged.

She looked different. She looked… normal. That deranged look you saw in her eyes all those years ago was gone. That eager, jittery-ish demeanour she had was also gone. She looked… stable, if that word fit. But the last time you saw her she was on top of you, about to punch your face in on the sidewalk of a street, so to say you were wary would be an understatement.

You sat down on the chair next to your bed, your call button remote in your hand, thumb at the ready on top of it. You didn’t say anything, just stared at her as if she might jump you at any second, which, if memory served, was not at all unlikely.

She seemed to release a breath of relief, looking around uncertainly, pulling one of the chairs from the mini bar area to sit on, half in, half out. She pondered visibly for a moment, as if searching for the right words to start.

“How’s your shoulder?” she asked.

“Healing. But my right hand is just fine. Come near me and I’ll claw your eyes out.”

She huffed a small laugh, hands up in surrender. She took a deep breath.

“When I was a child, my Mom used to take me to the hospital. She wouldn’t tell me why, but I never got operated on or anything like that. I was given vitamins, though. At least, that’s what my Mom told me they were. As I got older, I realized that the doctors I’ve been seeing were psychiatrists. I never had episodes, as far as I can remember, but I know that sometimes I feel… walled in, like I couldn’t get out of situations and freak out. My Mom told me there were some odd behaviours I was displaying as a toddler that worried her, and that’s why she took me to the doctor’s. The ‘vitamins’ helped, and I lived a relatively normal life most of my life.”

“I didn’t have many friends growing up because of this. Someone found out when I was in elementary, and I got called the crazy girl. I got wary of friendships, and sort of became a loner. We moved here for high school, my Mom was worried I would get bullied for my diagnosis. The school knew, obviously, but they were good with it, didn’t tell anyone. Just kept an eye on me. As far as I know, no one in high school knew about my condition, but I stayed away from others anyway, it hurts when people pull away when they find out,” she said, looking at her hands.

“The first summer I was here, I almost drowned in the public pool. Joel saved me. I developed a crush on him, like many of the girls in school did, as you know. He’s nice, good looking, and as far as I’m concerned, a hero. But I was some nobody in the lower grade, he was the school’s most good looking guy, he didn’t notice me. Not even after he saved me. To me, that made him all the more heroic. He saved me, even if I was a nobody, someone he wouldn’t even notice even after the fact. He was just a good guy who would save anyone who needed saving. So of course when I ran into him at the petting zoo I wanted to get to know him better.”

“At that point, my Mom had moved away. She was the one who would make sure I took my meds, went to my appointments, I guess she thought I would be responsible enough to take care of myself, but after she left, life got busy, I needed to pay my bills, I worked hard, I didn’t have the time… I started missing my appointments, my meds… I guess, I thought, I’ve been doing well all these years, hadn’t had any episodes, surely I could survive without the meds. Stupid, I know. So careless,” she mumbled, shaking her head.

“I knew Joel was in love with you. Everyone at school knew. Even if I didn’t, the way he looked at you, the way he was acting around you, it was so obvious. But at the time, I told myself, this was my chance to thank him for saving my life all those years ago. I could devote myself to him. Pay him back. Take care of him. I stalked him, Daisy, found out everything there was to know about him. I was so obsessed I missed work to stalk him. The Friday before that lunch, I got fired. I got desperate. How was I supposed to support myself? I knew Joel was only being nice to me, all those times he talked to me, came to my house to fix my stairs, which I sabotaged myself, by the way, but in my mind, if I could just get him to spend more time with me…”

“But he was in love with you. He would never leave you. I knew that, even in my state at that point. I knew I needed to do something drastic, something that would put me first before you to him. So…” she hesitated for a moment before going in, “I bought something off this guy I knew at work, I needed to get Joel closer. I thought, if he married me, I could take care of him, and he would take care of me, so my losing my job wouldn’t be that big of a deal. But that night after dinner, he received a call from his brother and left early, so I couldn’t do anything. That’s why I went over to his parents house. He had taken some pain meds for his headache that day, and I slipped the drug into the water I gave him. I drove his truck back to his place and helped him to bed. I tried to… you know… but he wasn’t reacting, his body wasn’t reacting. At one point he woke up enough to push me off him. After a while I heard you come home. So I just… faked it. I kept trying to get him to respond but he didn’t. He just pushed me off him. That’s when I came out and made it seem like we had sex,” she said, looking ashamed of herself. She shook her head, embarrassed to even tell you this.

“He lost it on me the next day, he didn’t believe me at all. He was so angry. All he could think of was to get to you, to explain. For the first time ever, he let me know exactly what he thought of me, how much he didn’t want me. And somehow, despite knowing that there was no way on earth he would ever want me, I just became more determined to make him mine. The next couple of weeks was just me being obsessed to get him to leave you. I got a pregnancy test from some pregnant homeless girl and tried to convince him I was pregnant with his child. Never in my mind did I think what I was doing was wrong. I just wanted him, and I was willing to do anything to get him. I was so heartbroken when he rejected me over and over again. It was like… I forgot we never had sex. I forgot he never wanted me. I actually believed I was pregnant with his baby.”

“A few weeks later, I was feeling off, so I went to the doctor’s. I told him I was pregnant, but of course, the test was negative. I freaked out, I kept telling myself I lost Joel’s baby. There was no way he was going to marry me now, I thought. So… I broke into his house… and I… tried to make a baby with him,” she shook her head again, covering her face with her hands.

“Anyway…” she said, looking defeated. “He woke up, I got arrested that night. Didn’t take long for the cops to figure out what happened. They brought a doctor in, looked at my medical records… everything unravelled pretty quickly after that. I was never pregnant, I had been off my meds for months by that point. But by the time that was established, Joel had spiralled. Instead of prison, I was sent to a psychiatric facility. I spent the next few years there. By the time I was able to recall the whole truth, it was too late. You were long gone, Joel was already married, had his little girl. It took Joel a long time to agree to hear me out. I doubt he’s accepted my apology, but even if he did, he would never forget what I did,” she finished, her lips trembling, tears falling thick on her lap.

She finally looked up at you. “I’m sorry, Daisy, for the role I played in separating you and Joel. I know I’m far too late to say that but I hope you can forgive me. I understand if you don’t, but I really hope you would.”

You didn’t say anything. Your head was spinning. All this because of her delusions.

“Are you okay now?” you heard yourself ask. She seemed shocked that you did, hesitantly nodding.

“I am, I promise. I’m doing really well. I go to my appointments, I take my meds religiously, I live a normal life now, as normal as I could, that is. I do volunteer work now, helping people like me, help them get help, try to make sure what happened to Joel doesn’t happen to anyone else if I can help it… I don’t live in town anymore. I’m just here because Joel told me you were in town. I wanted to see you, beg for forgiveness.”

“Joel told you I was here?”

She nodded, “We don’t keep in touch, but I told him a long time ago that should you ever return, I will make good on my promise to tell you everything I did, so he wouldn’t have to relive what I did to him. I destroyed his life, yours too, I should be the one to tell you everything. I’m owning up to my mistake, Daisy. I am truly sorry for everything I did. Please believe me.”

She stood up and put the chair back in its place. “Thank you for listening to me, Daisy, I wish you the best life can offer and all the happiness in the world,” she smiled, sincerity written all over it. She turned to leave.

“Jen.”

She turned around to look at you once more.

“Take care of yourself.”

She smiled, nodding, before leaving, out of your life.

“Was that Jen I saw on my way up?” Eric asked, opening the mac and cheese he brought for you.

You nodded.

“What did she want? You okay?”

“I am, I really think I am. She said Joel told her I was in town, she came to tell me what happened. Apologize.”

He looked contemplative for a while, climbing into bed with you to share your tray.

“You know, I wanted to tell you everything. About her I mean. But… I was angry at her. I didn’t trust myself not to spin the story, make her evil or something. I know she was sick, but what she did changed so many things. Joel almost died. I lost you, at the time, I thought for good. I genuinely thought I would never see you again. And I guess… by the time I felt neutral enough to tell you, we all sort of agreed that it would be better if Joel told you himself. We promised you we wouldn’t tell you anything about him, but we were still hoping that the two of you would get together, you know? But then… Annie came into his life… and we just… didn’t know how to tell you.”

“Hey, I told you, it’s okay. I told you guys not to tell me, remember? I needed to let go of him. I didn’t want to know. Was I surprised? Yes. But what did I expect? That he’d pine for me forever?” you huffed a small laugh, trying not to show him how disappointed you were with yourself.

Eric looked at you with what could only be described as pitying eyes. “To be honest, we couldn’t even tell you about Annie if we wanted to back then. We didn’t know anything about her. Joel never said anything about her before. About five months after he got discharged he brought her over for lunch, introduced her to us and told us all they had gotten married at the courthouse. You should have seen his parents’ faces. We honestly thought he had gone mad. But… she was pregnant with Sarah then. Anita actually worried it was a repeat of Jen, you know? But Annie turned out to be so sweet and kind and we all just… accepted her, I guess. But… I don’t know… they are good together, they seem to love and respect each other… but something is different with Joel. He’s still not the same guy we knew back then, you know? Sarah is literally the only one who could get him to laugh the way he did back then. Other than that… we still haven’t met the old Joel.”

“Do you think… Am I…” you stopped, not really sure if you wanted to say what you were thinking out loud.

“What?”

“Did I fuck him over by leaving? Did I make things worse?”

Eric didn’t answer. Couldn’t answer. He moved to sit by you, letting you lay your head on his shoulder.

“I don’t know babe. I really don’t. Sorry I don’t have a better answer,” he sighed.

You knew then. You knew you did. You fucked him over. You left a man who needed you because you were too worried about your own feelings and then proceeded to cut him off to alleviate your own guilt. You gave up on him.

After failing to convince yourself that your leaving led him to having Sarah, who, by all accounts was the light of his life, the one who pulled him back from the brink of self-destruction, you cried yourself to sleep that night. Like you did every night that first year you were in Bangkok.

You were roused from sleep by the soft opening of the door. Truth be told you hated being in hospitals. How were you supposed to rest when people keep coming in to take your blood pressure, which couldn’t have had the chance to lower since you were shaken awake every hour on the hour?

But this time, you knew. You just knew it wasn’t the nurses that woke you. It wasn’t anyone else either. It was him. You could feel him. His presence. His breathing. His energy. You just knew it was him. You kept your eyes closed, just listening to him move around the room, trying to be as quiet as he could. You could hear him place some paper bags on the coffee table, open the mini bar and place something inside. You could smell the coffee he brought with him, hear his phone chime, hear him sit himself down on the couch and unlock his phone. You heard him type something, the soft click-clacking of his phone before the whoosh of a text sent followed. He was quiet after that, and you just knew. You knew he was staring at you.

“You know,” he quietly said, “I may not have seen you for 15 years, but I can still tell when you are pretending to be asleep.”

And just like that, a smile formed on your lips, your eyes flying open. His smiling face greeted you.

“Hi.”

“Hello.”

“What are you doing here?”

“Bringing you breakfast.”

“I have breakfast. I’m in a hospital. They not only cure you. They serve you food too.”

“Ah, but you always finish eating still hungry and would never get extra food even if your tummy was rumbling so loud the building shook,” he said, standing up and bringing you the coffee he had gotten for you. “I know you Daze,” he smiled, placing your coffee on the trolley before helping you raise your bed. He went back to the coffee table to get your food. He served it for you and sat on the chair next to your bed.

“You’re not eating?”

“I already ate.”

“Right, you have a wife now.”

His smiling face slowly lost its smile.

“Are you happy Joel? Tell me you’re happy. Tell me I didn’t fuck you up by leaving. Tell me something good happened to you after I gave up on you and left,” you pleaded.

He just looked at you, not speaking, his sad eyes searching your now teary ones.

“Jen came to see me yesterday. She told me everything. I guess, I never realized how easily I gave up on you. I just left. I was a bad friend.”

His hand landed on yours. “No, you were not,” he assured you. “I was… uncooperative. I closed myself off from you, from everyone. You were trying to help me, but I didn’t want help. I let my ego win. I didn’t want to admit how vulnerable I was feeling. I pushed you away.”

“I didn’t even let anyone speak about you,” you told him, your tears falling. He wiped them off, the feeling of his hand on your face again making your eyes heavy.

“I didn’t come after you. I let Jen win. In the end, she succeeded in fucking with our heads enough to separate us. She won.”

The two of you sat in silence, his hand back on yours.

“I’m sorry for how I treated you back then,” he broke the silence.

“Joel, you were assaulted, I should’ve been more understanding,” you countered.

“I should’ve let you help,” he finished.

There was silence once more, both of you looking into each other’s eyes.

“We were so young, so stupid, so callous. We thought we knew it all. Had it all,” he whispered.

You nodded. “Things would have been so different if we hadn’t been so dumb.”

“But I wouldn’t have Sarah.”

There was such softness in his eyes, albeit teary, when he said her name.

“She’s a wonderful girl, Joel. You and Annie did a great job.”

“Thank you,” he whispered, a smile gracing his lips. “And thank you for saving her. I’m sorry you got hurt so bad trying to save my little girl.”

“Well,” you jested, “I may have been aiming for the kitten.”

“What kitten?”

“The ginger kitten she was saving when that truck almost hit her.”

His smile faded. “There was a kitten?”

“Yeah. Why?”

“Do you know where the kitten is now?”

“She said her friend took it home.”

His jaw clenched, his eyes narrowed.

“I may have to do some extra detailed spot checking of her room later.”

“Why?”

“She’s been a bit secretive these couple of days. She’s been wanting a kitten or a puppy for a long time now, but Annie’s allergic. It’s a ginger kitten, you say? How big is this kitten?”

“Oh, I am not getting involved in this. I am not going to be responsible for a little girl not getting a kitten,” you said, picking up the coffee he brought you and hiding your face into the cup, busying yourself blowing on the hot liquid.

He gasped, looking hurt. “Are you really taking my daughter’s side? You’ve met her three times! You’ve known me all your life! Traitor!”

You snorted coffee all over your trolley. He laughed out loud, getting a napkin from the paper bag to wipe coffee off your eggs and muffins. You laughed with him, forgetting for those few minutes that you hadn’t spoken to him in 15 years.

The two of you were forced to stop laughing when the nurse came in to take your vitals, yet again. You were having a hard time staying still, your body shaking from trying not to laugh, while Joel stood patiently behind the nurse, his entire body vibrating from silent laughter, his hand over his mouth. The nurse had to ask you to stop laughing long enough to take your blood pressure. Your breakfast was brought in just as she was done. Once he had sat back down and it was just the two of you again, Joel broke the silence.

“I miss you.”

You could have sworn your heart stopped beating.

“I’ve missed you from the moment I left the house that day. I’ve missed you every second of every day for 15 years. I would do anything to have you back in my life, Daze. To be your friend again.”

You wanted that too. By God you wanted that too. And you’d be lying of you said you didn’t miss him, think of him every single second for the past 15 years. But you didn’t trust yourself. Others may not know, but you knew that the reason things never worked out with your exes was because they were not him. They all reminded you of him one way or another, but they were not him. And you knew that being friends with him, being in contact with him, would bring all the feelings back.

He’s married. He’s a married man. He had a child with his beautiful, wonderfully kind and funny wife.

But looking into his eyes at this moment, you couldn’t say no.

It’s only a few weeks. Five, six weeks, tops. Then you were leaving. Nothing could happen in a few weeks, right?

It’s only your heart you were risking anyway.

“Do you forgive me for running away?” you asked him.

“Do you forgive me for pushing you away?” he asked you right back.

The looks in your eyes told each other everything the other needed to know.

“I would love that too.”

The smile that he gave you, along with the squeeze of your hand from his made your heart flutter.

Be still. A few weeks. Friends. That’s all.

Monday came, and you were discharged. Anita asked you to wait in your room, and someone would come get you. “Please don’t Uber,” she had pleaded. “I don’t want you carrying your luggage alone. The Airbnb you booked cancelled since you couldn’t make in Friday, but we got you another one. It’s actually closer to Esther’s house, so that’s good. Will and Olivia and Joel and Annie live nearby too, so at least you won’t be alone.”

She refused to give you the address to your new Airbnb so you had no choice but to wait. A little after lunchtime, Annie knocked on your door, asking if you were ready to go.

“I hope you don’t mind that I’m here and not the others,” she said, pulling your bag behind her as the nurse brought the wheelchair for you in. “I was already here, so I volunteered to take you to the Airbnb.”

“Why were you here? Everything okay?” you asked, sitting down on the wheelchair.

“Oh, just the usual physical. Nothing weird. For the insurance, you know how it is,” she said, pushing the button to the elevator. “I do need to stop for groceries though, I hope that’s okay?”

“Of course. I need to get some stuff too, probably. For the place,” you said.

That afternoon, you found out that Annie really was, as everyone said, a lovely person. You didn’t want to like her, but you did. You so did. She was easy to like. Funny, warm, great listener, just a great person. She used to be a pre-school teacher. But she’s a full-time mom and wife now, she told you as she pushed the cart along the aisle in the store, taking this and that from the shelves and placing them neatly in the cart. She was telling you about some antiques her students used to get into when she stopped, staring at the selection of sour cream in the dairy section.

“What are we looking for?”

“Sour cream,” she answered, distracted.

“I know that, we have a wall of them in front of us. What brand? I can help look?”

“Breakstone,” she said, bending over a little to properly look at the lower shelves.

The two of you looked. Really looked.

“Maybe they’re out?” you asked.

She pursed her lips in disappointment. “Shucks. No scrambled eggs for Mr Miller for a few days then,” she sighed.

“Maybe we can get a different brand? Can he tell?” you asked, recalling that he was fine eating plain old scrambled without anything added to it before.

She took a deep breath, eyes still scanning the shelves one more time, hoping that particular sour cream would pop out like magic from somewhere. “He didn’t put anything in his eggs before, but I always make them with sour cream. He likes them. Requested I make them my way since. I used a different brand then, but he requested we change it, so now I use Breakstone. No use buying anything else.”

“He wouldn’t eat them?”

“No, he would. Just… I’d rather not change anything.”

“Well, what brand did you use before?”

She was quiet for a while, as if contemplating if she wanted to tell you. She finally looked at you, shaking her head a little, “It’s been so long I can’t even remember. It’s okay. Next time. You want anything from this aisle?” she asked, her eyes glancing at a particularly stocked brand on the shelf before moving away.

“No, I got my milk and butter, I’m fine,” you said, eyes looking at where she was.

The shelves stocked with Daisy sour cream.

You followed her around the store, listening as she told you Joel and Sarah’s preferences. Joel only liked full cream milk, none of those fat free or 2% stuff. Sarah was okay with full cream too but prefers soy. Joel hated tuna, Sarah loved them. But only with mayo. Joel doesn’t like milk in his coffee but would drink it on its own. Sarah hates coffee, she prefers tea with a splash of milk. Cow milk, not soy. She prattled on and on, telling you her little family’s dietary quirks as if you would be taking a test on the subject. Oh, were you allergic to anything? So she didn’t accidentally use the ingredients should she send you something every now and again?

“Not that I’m aware of, but you don’t have to… I’ll order in. I don’t want to trouble you.”

“Nonsense. Not like I have anything better to do. I hope you like fish pie. Making some for dinner. You are coming over for dinner right? We live like 4 doors down from you. Will and Olivia are coming.”

“Oh, actually, Mike is coming over with dinner,” you hesitantly told her.

“Sarah’s teacher?” she asked.

Did you imagine it, or did she look genuinely disappointed? And if she was, was it because you were not coming to dinner, or because Mike was coming over? Either way, it did not make any sense.

“Yeah, he visited again yesterday and when I told him I would be discharged today he offered to bring me dinner.”

“Like a date? A dinner date?”

“It’s just take out dinner, Annie. Chinese, I think. We’re just friends. I’m leaving in a few weeks, remember? Hardly a good time to start something.”

“But I thought…” she began but stopped herself. “Oh, I need grapes. Sarah loves them. But only the green crunchy ones. She hates the red ones. Joel, on the other hand…” she stopped when she noticed the look on your face. “I’m sorry, am I boring you? I’ll stop if I am.”

“No, you’re not. It’s just… I feel like you are going to test me on this later or something. Should I be taking notes?”

She laughed, pulling you hand along, “I’m sorry,” she said. “It’s just… I’ve heard so much about you. I’ve always wanted to meet you. I guess, I’m nervous to finally spend time with you, and when I get nervous, I prattle. I’m sorry.”

“You’ve heard so much about me? From Joel?”

“Well… I asked him about you. The others talk about you sometimes, you know, updates, what you’ve been up to, talking about places they went with you since you moved, their visits over, all that, I got curious. So I asked him, and he told me. I hope that’s okay.”

“No, of course it is. Well, I’m here for a few weeks. You can ask me yourself. And when I go back, you can come visit me too, bring Sarah with you.”

She smiled at you. “I’d love that.”

Joel and Will stood outside on his driveway that night, having a smoke after taking the bins out. They were talking about the build they were starting the week after, when they saw your door open. Mike walked out, followed by you. The two of you stayed next to his car for a while, chit-chatting, laughing occasionally.

“That the teacher from the hospital the other day? Sarah’s teacher?” Will asked.

“Yeah,” Joel said, unable to hide the heaviness in his heart from his tone.

“Is that why she’s not at dinner tonight?”

“Guess so. Annie just said she already had plans.”

“Hey, you okay?” Will asked.

Joel put his cigarette out, “Yeah, of course I am. Why?”

Olivia and Annie came out, Olivia carrying two bags. Will quickly took them from her, asking if both bags were for them.

“No, we’ll stop at Daze’s. One’s for her,” she told him, kissing Joel goodnight, giving Annie a hug, thanking her for dinner.

Joel and Annie watched as the couple stopped, giving you the bag with the pies in them. You looked inside the bag and said thank you from down the road, Annie waving ‘you’re welcome’ at you. They stood there and watched as Will and Olivia walked on, as Mike hugged you good night, gave you a kiss on the cheek and got in his car. They kept watching until you turned to go back inside, closing the door behind you.

“Come on, let’s go inside,” Joel said, hiding the heaviness in his heart from his wife. He locked the door, going into the kitchen to help clean up.

“Joel, I need to talk to you about something,” Annie said, putting the glasses into the dishwasher.

“Shoot,” he replied, wiping the dining table.

Annie walked to the stairs and glanced upstairs, checking that Sarah’s door was closed. She leaned on the counter across from the table, looking at her husband.

“I know what we agreed on, I want you to know that. I don’t want you to think I forgot.”

“What are you talking about?” Joel asked, rinsing the towel he had been using under the faucet.

“You know, that thing we agreed on, that day we decided to get married.”

Joel’s frown disappeared, turning into recognition.

“Annie, that was a joke, remember? We were laughing about it.”

“Maybe you were joking, but I wasn’t, Joel.”

“Annie…”

“No, please, hear me out,” she pleaded, raising a hand towards him. “I just want you to know that I remember my promise, I hadn’t forgotten, but I just can’t do it right now. I need some time. I hope that’s okay.”

Part 12

#joel miller fanfiction #joel miller #joel miller x reader #the last of us fanfiction #joel miller x you #tlou fanfiction #BFF!Joel Miller

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da-janela-lateral · 1 day ago

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Was discussing about Undertale soul traits with my friend and had the idea of classifying MP100 characters based on them. So.

Mob = Determination. Although I have classified him as Kindness before, Determination fits his entire self a lot since he has a) an intense desire to become a better person and b) a lifelong dream of getting to be himself freely one day. Determination is also a rather "neutral" trait, which reinforces how Mob is capable of doing both good and bad and only tends to do good due to the positive influence of his companions. Besides, he insists on following his morals no matter the situation, no matter how hard it may be.

Reigen = Kindness. LISTEN. This man has the complete ability to trick his clients into getting him more and more money, but he chooses to actually solve their problems. He claims his job is to dispell people's fears. Despite being stingy, he spent loads of money multiple times just to make the kids happy. He gave Mob a positive lesson even though he believed Mob was just an overimaginative kid. He made himself look bad for the sake of keeping Tome safe. This is a rude and selfish man but oh boy he is KIND.

Dimple = Patience. Most interpretations of the Patience trait agree on "waiting for the right oportunity to strike", which fits Dimple's strategy! He was a pretty tough spirit before, but instead of getting humans' attention by pure force, he researched about the most efficient ways to gain it with the least bloodshed and went through with the religion idea even though it would be painfully slow. He also waited a long time to gain Mob's confidence so he could eventually use his powers/body to achieve this goal.

Ritsu = Perseverance. Ritsu has long accepted that developing psychic powers is an extremely hard endeavor, even more trying to get to his brother's level. Despite that, Ritsu continues his attempts in nearly ridiculous levels of dedication (and lack of self-preservation, by following Mitsuura into a so-called lab he had never seen) even when following his goals would be weird, difficult or even unkind. Perseverance is a also a very similar trait to Determination, with the difference that its in-game description implies a more cautious, circunstance-based "trial and error" approach. Mob tried to be better because he wanted to be. Ritsu tried to get powers because he needed them.

Teruki = Bravery. This trait is commonly accepted as "rushing fists-first through all obstacles", which fits the method that he had to employ in order to survive Claw. Teruki is a rather aggressive person. He wasn't afraid of stabilishing his dominance over those he claimed to be commoners, and even after abandoning his "protagonist of the world" view, he doesn't care a bit about using violence to get what he needs. Teruki also pushed down his fears multiple times while facing much more powerful enemies. He is often in terrifying situations! Even so, he tries to be brave and smart enough to solve his problem as quick as possible.

Shou = Justice. Even though Shou was raised under Toichiro's influence to become a valuable member of Claw, he did everything on his power to stop his dad because he felt responsible for it. Sure, the organization was strong, and he would have plenty advantages by supporting them, but Shou didn't find it fair! He recognizes the evil Claw was doing to the world! He was alone and weak and unsure yet he faced his own powerhungry father because he didn't agree with such a horrible plan!

#might reblog with more additions later. I really want to discuss my opinions on the girls' soul traits (especially tome and tsubomi's)#I also really wonder what would match toichiro? patience would be an interesting choice.#serizawa though... I don't know #everybody that likes mp100 go play undertale NOW!!!!!#mp100 #mob psycho 100 #shigeo kageyama #reigen arataka #ritsu kageyama #teruki hanazawa #shou suzuki #lalá rambling...

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ingravinoveritas · 2 days ago

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Many fans also don't realize every role an actor takes doesn't mean they love it. They have bills to pay lol. Timothy Olyphant was once asked about a bad action movie he did and he was like "I have a mortgage to pay". Plus, many actors just like working no matter what the project is.

(This in response to this post for those who might've missed it.)

You are right on the money and absolutely correct, Anon. A lot of this goes back to things David himself has said previously, about being afraid of never having another job, feeling almost obligated to take any role or offer that comes his way, and so on. So obligation/pragmatism/a paycheck are just as often reasons that someone takes a job as anything else.

What's interesting to me is that I have not ever seen this kind of a reaction to any other role of David's. When he played Dennis Nilsen in Des, for instance, I can't remember anyone saying that David most definitely for 100% sure felt a certain way about playing the role, or that he couldn't be ambivalent about it or have mixed feelings in some way.

Yet with Rivals, there seems to be an almost hyper focus on needing David to absolutely love the role of Tony Baddingham, which in large part is likely because of Georgia's involvement with getting him to take the role. That if she loves it and is enthusiastic about it, David must also feel the exact same way...which is a strange thing, because that's not really how marriage or relationships work. Couples can have many similar viewpoints on things and share interests, but David and Georgia are still separate, individual people, and they are not always going to agree on everything or speak for each other.

A good way to look at this is if we compare Rivals to Good Omens. Both shows are based on books, and in both cases, David had read neither book prior to being cast in the productions. When David has talked about Good Omens and the character of Crowley, he has praised the writing of the book and the imaginative world that Terry and NG created...but in talking about the show, he has spoken at much greater length about Crowley as a character, and how this was such a "delicious" character to play, how he's put more of himself into the role with each season, how it's changed his life, and so on.

In contrast, when David has talked about Rivals, he has praised Jilly Cooper's writing/the world she created in the books and how it made it possible to step into that world in the show. But he has not talked at all about Tony Baddingham as a character other than to say he based his portrayal on one particular suspender-wearing, cigar-chomping TV executive. We know that David enjoys being part of an ensemble, but that and Jilly's writing are as far as he seems to go, and it seems clear that playing Tony specifically did not hold that kind of joy for him, nor spark that same level of enthusiasm.

It's also notable that in discussions about Good Omens and Crowley, many have said that they can't see anyone else playing Crowley (especially not opposite Michael's Aziraphale). In comparison, there have been many comments about David seeming "miscast" as Tony/how there are other actors who would have fit the part better.

I have wondered as well if there could be a deeper reason for this...that we know being an actor means playing roles/characters that are different from you. But to create that "believability" that we see means finding something in the character that inspires you/your performance and then building on that...and if David is struggling to be believable as Tony, then it could be that there is nothing in the character of a sleazy womanizer that inspires him. Again, in sharp contrast to the character of Crowley, who very much has and continues to inspire him and which is reflected in the performance he has given in the second (and soon third) seasons. Finally yes, the comment about actors liking to work also seems to be true, as David has been described as a "workaholic" on numerous occasions over the years (which again could be for a variety of reasons, either good or bad). So all of these things mentioned above can and likely did contribute to David taking the role of Tony, and especially agreeing to appear in the second season (as it's my understanding that the character does not even have a significant presence there). I'd be glad to know what others think as well, so feel free to leave your thoughts in the comments...

#anonymous #reply post #david tennant #soft scottish hipster gigolo #rivals #tony baddingham #BAFTAs 2025 #again just listening to how David talks about Rivals vs. GO shows a clear difference #and i'm not sure why there is such a need for David to love Rivals/Tony so much #when his own words seem to indicate otherwise #also it may be that being able to have any woman he wants is not something that appeals to him #which is why something seems to be missing from playing Tony #but these are just my observations #choices #not all of them good #thoughts #discourse

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fallloverfic · 2 days ago

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Thoughts on the live-action adaptation of The Murderbot Diaries, Episodes 1: FreeCommerce and 2: Eye Contact:

I enjoyed them well enough. I have criticisms but I'm gonna keep watching. It was funny and entertaining. If you haven't read the books and are at all interested in the series based on the show, I would highly recommend reading them (also the first novella, which the show is based on, is super cheap, and as it's a novella, short). They are much better and funnier. Spoilers below for the books and show

From the get-go: after the first teaser was released, I reread All Systems Red in one sitting, and a good chunk of Artificial Condition. Yes, the story is being massively changed, kind of like they disassembled a puzzle, reassembled the pieces in ways that mostly fit but aren't intended, and then painted over a lot of it so it largely looks right, while the paint is dripping. The core plot is there, particularly at least the major plot beats. Although two cast members have been removed and one added (the latter of which will presumably be in a future episode), and a number of character relationships have been modified as a result, the cast is generally the same. So it's not like "this is entirely different" but rewrites have occurred, which changes a lot, even if, at its heart, it is still very much the same narrative. Anyone who is insisting they haven't changed much or it's basically the story, is not being honest and/or has not reread the books in a while. That's not to say all the changes are bad because they are changes, but the changes exist. A lot of how that works out in the end is subjective.

I like the opening animation. I think it's a cute. I have a soft spot for animated toy openings.

It's a choice but also makes sense to make things more chronological, starting with Murderbot disabling its governor module, while also demonstrating just how much humans abuse it and why it would want to do that. I still think the human hitting it and bouncing off of it is very funny. And I like the armor design. A lot of changes were made to better explain things to an audience that works better for live-action television than books. That's fine as a concept. Again, how it ends up working out for an audience is largely subjective.

The problem with me talking about this show is that I never was able to track who was who among the human cast while reading, except for Mensah lol I care most about Murderbot, ART, and Mensah, so that was kind of it on my list. Humans were just Other. Thus, remembering who is who while learning who is who on the show is EXCITING! But I shall do my best.

I'm not the happiest with describing PreservationAux as "hippies". That's not a term I could find in the books anywhere, so this seems to be a show thing. From a writing angle to a new audience angle, I get why someone might have used it, but it makes no sense for Murderbot to use it (hypothetically it might know what a hippie is, but as a narrative framing reference, it's so far beyond the concept of hippies that it seems weird to use it as a descriptor) and the general narrative step away from treating Murderbot's company as Massive Capitalism Evil Metaphor combined with "Murderbot's new clients are hippies" is not really something I'm into. They might just be slow-building it, and it's not like they weren't upfront with "what's happening with Murderbot is a form of slavery" and also "what's happening with Murderbot is generally horrifying and this is a person they could just murder for parts as desired", but... I don't know. There's a vibe to it I'm not thrilled about, and "hippie" combined with the painting and the singing and the dancing and whatnot is just... hmm. The show seems more focused on how weird PreservationAux is rather than Capitalism Evil, and I'm less trusting of that shift, given, you know, Apple.

The contract scene was very weird in the sense that they were trying to very awkwardly infodump during a contract negotiation and as a result it was perhaps one of the oddest contract negotiations I've seen, even incorporating the science fiction elements. But it's fine for what it is, I suppose.

Volescu has seemingly been removed from the story, at least for this season. In the initial rescue sequence, Arada takes his place. Overse was also for some reason deleted from the story. I would be less averse to shrinking the cast for simplicity if I didn't know, from the trailer, that they're going to add a ComfortUnit somewhere, presumably from DeltFall. As someone who's still having trouble recalling who's who - though writing this and watching the show are helping me stick names to faces - shrinking the cast is again not necessarily an issue. But it's a different story.

I was truly not expecting Clark Gregg looking like he just walked off a production of The Wizard of Oz. I know his bit is in the first trailer, but for some reason, I guess because I was distracted by everything else, I didn't process that it was him lol He was funny for all he was not in there long. The Sanctuary Moon bits were, as expected, great. Also loved John Cho, as expected. Great stuff.

I'm still not a fan of how Murderbot is carrying Bharadwaj wrong. It specifically carries her in a bridal carry in the book to keep her alive (or at least that sounds like that's how it's carrying her), and there's a lot we learn about its competence for doing that. Carrying her like a potato sack so her organs and fluids fall everywhere as she bounces on its shoulder indicates a carelessness that just isn't there. Murderbot can be careless, but not like this.

Ratthi's hot. Just gonna say.

Not into how the team is so excited to sexually harass Murderbot from the get-go. From the trailer I'm guessing this is going to be Ratthi's growth from fuckboi to respectful (well slightly less of a fuckboi I guess), but um... Hmm. Also again, maybe part of the whole "hippie" thing? Yes, PreservationAux is proudly queer and full of polyamorous folks who are happy to fuck, but also... hmm.

I really like Mensah. She's great, as always. I also like Bharadwaj. And poor Pin-Lee, trying to support her wife (probably one of the funnier moments in the show was when she sees Arada jump Ratthi and is like "uh, I have to get involved in this somehow" and it's so relatable when writing orgies). Honestly, the whole cast is really great. We were all worried it wouldn't stay queer, given the state of live-action television these days. Yes, it's very queer. That's lovely.

I'm not the biggest fan of focusing on MurderKen. There sure were a lot of shots of that. I get that it's Skarsgard, they're basically obligated to show his nude body at least once cause Hollywood Sexyman, but... mm.

I think it's funny they made me hate Gurathin for largely different reasons than the books make you hate Gurathin lol Like yes, he's a paranoid asshole and a massive dick to Murderbot. In this... he's also extremely weird and asks incredibly bizarre questions (because he's being used to infodump) and Murderbot is... a bit warier than it probably should be of him based on what it knows. Maybe people think he's just Gurathin being Gurathin but he felt weird in a way entirely different from how he is at least in All Systems Red. It still reads as him. Just... different. Maybe if I really shipped Murderbot and Gurathin I'd have enjoyed it more, I don't know. I'm happy for those shippers, though!

I did enjoy the end bit in Episode 2 where Gurathin talks to Mensah. That was nice. The show demonstrates that he's a dick but he truly does care about his companions.

There were a lot of moments that had me genuinely laughing, like Mensah dropping the f-bomb, Mensah and Bharadawaj's chats (especially the one where they're getting prideful about their scientific specializations, very realistic), Gurathin trying to turn a chair that's not on wheels in a way that's not silly, etc. That kept me in a positive mood that still isn't fully pushed aside by the incredibly bad interrogation.

From a visual perspective, I also really liked the "Murderbot turns its head to face Gurathin" moment. It was a little awkward (as Murderbot always is), but it was also fun.

I was however generally more frustrated with how the story made Murderbot seem less competent than it is. Not just the carrying Bharadwaj, but also its detachment from the issue with the maps (it's supposed to be more involved in that), and its not pointing out as much how dangerous the company is. In the book, it's clear Murderbot knows more than the crew, but is keeping quiet out of self-preservation, but because those thoughts aren't being shown somehow, it looks more like Murderbot is following the humans' lead, even if Murderbot is clearly more aware of at least some threats, namely leaving the hub without a SecUnit and how dangerous SecUnits are.

The story is a lot more focused on the humans, and that's understandable and honestly expected, but frustrating. I care a lot more about Murderbot (and the criticism of capitalism), not the human dynamics, no matter how much I understand someone jumping Ratthi's bones.

I hope we get more of Murderbot's obsession with drones and how cool they are. We saw the one, which was nice, but that wasn't even one of Murderbot's drones.

I also appreciated we got its insistence on viewing scenes through cameras rather than its eyes. Murderbot is awkward and has anxiety, and although they don't explain why (that it's part of the unintended side effects of Murderbot's design), I enjoyed seeing how it was all executed on-screen, by and large. Murderbot sitting down in the chair was good.

Also yes, while we've argued over this ever since the announcement was made, I do think it is still a missed opportunity - at best - that the main character is played by a cis white man rather than a queer person of color, particularly someone who's non-binary or agender. I think Skarsgard does fine in the role, like I imagined he might. But they could have done a lot more with it. There's a moment where Gurathin looks at Murderbot and says like, "I just look at you and think there's something wrong" and my thought was "yeah, it's that "white men are dangerous" vibe".

Looking forward to Episode 3!

If you haven't read the books, again, consider checking them out! Kobo sells DRM-free copies, too.

#the murderbot diaries #fallfthoughts #I enjoyed it I just have some criticisms #murderbot #gurathin #ayda mensah #ratthi #bharadwaj

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marinette-the-clarinet · 2 days ago

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I absolutely love your voice!! You don't have to but the song Misery Meat - Sodikken is a short song that I think fits Ragatha's character very well. Could you maybe please sing the song someday or even just part of the song? Even if you decide to not sing, I think Sodikken is a really cool song artist! Also I really love you ragatha-ask blog, it is such a creative idea and I find your voice so lovely and accurate to Ragatha and its so expressive, fun and sweet!! Anyway, what I'm trying say is thank you for sharing your voice its fantastic!!!

I've never heard of this song before, but you're right! This fits Ragatha very well lmao. Very Bunnydoll coded hehehehe. Sorry if it's not perfect, I learned this song in 30 minutes and it was not easy 😭. I'm surprised I was able to get it to be decent in the first take.

Sorry I've taken so long to answer these requests! I'm gonna try to do like, one a week if I can.

#tadc #the amazing digital circus #tadc ragatha #song cover

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midnightvices · 2 days ago

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So glad I'm not alone in this.

I'm in the minority about the show in general as I've disliked the way they've taken it from the start, but the second season for me has been hard to watch. They're taking a very 'The Walking Dead' approach I feel like. And I love 'The Walking Dead' so that inherently isn't the problem for me, it's that they're changing a story that was filled with revenge, self defined justice, and no mercy with characters that were drained, traumatized, and ruthless. Ellie isn't supposed to be cracking jokes anymore, she's no longer that 14 year old wise ass kid. She's supposed to be seeing red. Tommy isn't supposed to be so lax that his brother was just butchered. He's supposed to be going on a killing spree.

There are so many ways they could include the game play action into the series. The show has never had enough of it for me, but I could look over it a bit in the first season, but one of the moments for me where I was disappointed was when Ellie found the hospital and had to sneak into it to find Nora. I vividly remember that game play. We only got a glimpse into Ellie sneaking around, which in reality we didn't even see her. Just the grass moving, the bag, and then she's in the room with Nora. If they want to stay on the side of caution for a 19 year old girl against this army, which I guess I can understand but let's not pretend that the whole concept of the story is pretty much one person going across country fighting and surviving on their own for the most part, they could at least lean into the idea that Ellie can easily sneak around her enemies. They had Dina mention it slightly as they squeezed into the rumble, 'We can fit. They can't' so show us more. The options are often kill or evade. Neither are easy, and both require skill. Let me see Ellie outsmart her enemies and increase the tension and risk while doing do.

And then once we get to the point where she's supposed to beat Nora to death, it's over so quickly. I was in awe at this scene in the game. I was on the edge of my seat, almost afraid of Ellie as if I were there with her. That's supposed to be the breaking point for Ellie. That's supposed to be the moment we, as the audience, see that there's no going back on this man hunt.

By the end of the story, Ellie does forgive Abby, or at least let's her go, but it was a harder choice. The Ellie we have now seems like she's be more willing to let it all go. I'm not seeing that loss of humanity that made this series what it was.

I also wish that they had kept the format of the game, with more of the flashbacks sooner slowly revealing how their relationship became so strained at the start of Pt2. Personally, seeing that final flashback of when Ellie and Joel made their truce on the porch, rebuilding their relationship after Ellie being distant so long, and realizing that the next day was going to be the day he died was crushing.

I know so many are loving this show, and as someone that loves the game, characters, and storyline, I'm upset that I can't see the vision that's being presented to us.

my stream of consciousness thoughts on tlou season 2

i watched tlou season 1 with my now fiancée as it came out. my fiancée is a huge fan of the game and wanted to watch the show with me, which i agreed too. this made me the pedro fan i am today, but also got me into gaming as a whole. i never grew up with any modern video game consoles in my house. i got a used PS2 from a flea market when i was 12 so i could play guitar hero, but that was it. so when i visited my fiancée earlier this year (we're long distance, i live in canada, he lives in scotland) i finally got a chance to play tlou for the first time.

tlou1 was amazing but tlou2 floored me. i knew joel was gonna die and that was it. i didn't know about abby, lev, yara, manny, dina, jesse, all of these characters that would fucking make me sob my eyes out. the game drained me, but in the best fucking way.

abby and joel are my favourite tlou characters, and i cannot express how much the season one finale fucks over the plot of season two. directing the finale to make joel look so sad and guilty while doing it, when in the game there is so hesitating at all (i.e. the "i don't have time for this" line) and you are forced to shoot your way through this hospital. the bodies, the violence is THE POINT, but in a season of television with almost NO VIOLENCE before the hospital, it's whiplash in hindsight.

while i love that season 1 was my introduction to the tlou franchise, i now HATE the fact that we're now watching an extremely sanitized, watered-down version of the last of us part II, one of the most violent pieces of media to ever exist. ellie is not pathetic enough in the show. ellie is not focused, not irrational, and therefore, her actually going on this trip THREE MONTHS AFTER JOEL DIED doesnt make any fucking sense. AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED WITH DINA. dina/ellie makes no sense and it feels like a lesbian relationship being written by a man, while the game feels like a natural, realistic relationship. ellie not saying that dina is a burden was the point when i realized that this is just... not the same story at all. it would be okay to change small things to adapt it to tell the same story in a television show format, but the changes are so severe (also the significantly less time we have in the tv show compared with the game) that the story we are watching is just... not the same. it's weak, and it makes you question why they are making these changes.

the seraphites do not seem like an actual threat in the show. they look cheap and it's hard to believe that they could scare the WLF, even with the small sacrifice scene we saw. the fact that they introduced the WLF dogs and didn't have ellie shoot the dog feels like craig and neil are not interested in actually getting to the same thesis that tlou2 gets to about violence - they're interested in being in the universe of tlou. they learned the wrong lesson from long, long time and they're spending way too much time on details and exposition that ultimately get in the way of its own narrative.

the game is so magical with its storytelling, and i'm just witnessing a butchering that has gone too far. every moment with ellie and her character is not depraved enough, not dark enough, it's juvenile and baseline. there is not enough guilt. every happy moment in tlou2 with ellie and dina is outlined with ellie's PTSD, and so far we have not even really seen her PTSD, there have been no cracks in her mentality, there has been no ugliness.

the thing i love about tlou2 is that none of the women are perfect. tlou season 2 is trying to make these women's morals perfectly defined and not messy at all, and it's just... not interesting.

i'm excited to see joel back, but i swear to god, i feel nothing but dread watching this. they're gonna fuck up everything with abby and lev (my faves) and i WILL need moral support lmao please

#tlou #tlou2 #tlou spoilers #tlou2 spoilers #tlou hbo

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cloudinal · 3 months ago

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WHERE IS THE LUNCHMEAT

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flowersforthemachines · 2 months ago

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Useless Veilguard fact of the day: Day 64

Shots from the Archon Palace can hit Rook and/or their companions during the prologue.

Check out the tag for more useless facts: #useless davg fact of the day!

#in a rare fit of mercy for ghilasara I made a new Rook just so they could get shot instead of her #never say I'm not nice to my characters #dragon age #I will always find queue like it's written in the stars #useless davg fact of the day #dragon age the veilguard #flowers blogs #flowers.txt

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angy-grrr · 3 months ago

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I don’t get why ppl keep saying bkdk is dead or Horikoshi broke off bkdk. If that were true, this extra would look very different as you pointed out multiple times. The extra was still heavily focused on them and I hate how ppl are letting one no dictate the entire relationship. Izuku asks him to be a special lecturer too. I think the no just needs more clarification but other than that it is mostly fine. If a ship were to be shut down by the creator, it would look very different. Same logic for if a ship were to be canon, it would look different than what we got in the end for izu///ocha. This extra was bad in different ways from ships. It was just a whole lot of nothing that doesn’t meaningfully add anything to the story but I guess we shouldn’t be surprised since it is an extra. It is still an ambiguous ending that can be pretty fixable by one shots by Horikoshi in the future or even better by fanfiction lol. Except for the Toga part. That is just inexcusable

himiko-chan :(

and yeah! like even tho 431 is terrible not only for pairs but also for the whole story, it only confirmed Katsuki feels something really strong for deku and he doesnt notice bc he doesnt consider himself to be that great; they keep talking, and they keep being in each other's lives with no problem -they also imply they will work on communicating their feelings, as the special lecture is about this topic and deku also thinks katsuki doesnt see himself in a high regard. This is actually something that could be used in the future, as their relationship and arc isnt completely finished -in the way that they arent at a point of no miscommunication, no yearning, etc. They still need something to work with in regards to themselves and each other in the process. When it comes to midoriya and uraraka, idk what exactly could develop from what 431 tell us -seems to be mostly about paying attention to the ppl in your life instead of just letting life happen I guess? But idk what conversation or arc they could have together that wasn't resolved already, it was a really weird choice to focus on them as if there needs to be more explored -which is why choosing to not make them talk to each other nor think of the other in these years is potentially interesting, like the only way they could actually need to talk things up or have a separated special moment is if they just stop being friends and want to talk more from now on. Like, if they kept their friendship these years and were part of the other's life, there wouldnt be a moment like this at all.

I think it hurt mostly ochako -and deku if we interpret it as "deku just wants to be teacher, he is super happy about it, and loveeees so much his ex bestie after 8 years of no contact and never thinking about her"-, more than the bkdk relationship.

It would be interesting to see those one shots, if he does them -I know he said he wanted to do more things and little drawings and content for it, but idk if he will do something elaborate or just one page of something silly. I think he still has to opportunity of working with the material and make something at least not this bad -or completely ignore 431 and just continue with their adventures like 430 implies lol If he wants to double down with the "romance" I have no idea how he could do it with what he has tbh, unless he just ignores the plot and their personalities.

#grrr talking #thanks bc I was getting a little crazy like wowowowow am I just making things up in my head???#I think bkdk keep having romantic connotation even if deku is so clueless #and while is sad to see them be insecure about themselves I think they do have reasons to do this more than ochako #she did learn her lesson with 429 and talked things with deku already -which is why you had to make them go no contact for them to even #have a “moment” -there was no need for them to develop anything with their friendship. and it still ended in a friendly note #while katsuki and deku never got to actually talk about their feelings alone #nor discussed all the trauma related to each other -the quirklessness the war shigaraki killing him the guilt over so many things #deku on another hand doesnt really have much to tell uraraka that would fit them as there wasn't a moment the war actually involved them tr #truly besides the himiko moment -which would lead to himiko's love for ochako and while this could be used to make her confess #its really... bad honestly considering thats the only thing that relates them -another girl who loves both #there wasn't a moment of him paying special attention to her in a romantic coded way and everything was just... pretty friendly honestly #while the war directly involved katsuki being targeted for being the closest to deku of them all #I makes sense for them to need to talk about this in comparison #what deku as a character needs is to consider why he doesnt see himself as important and why isnt he allowed to accept more for him than #what he got #and I just dont see how this could work with her considering they dont have a real friendship anymore #I cant see neither trying to push the other into being honest about hidden feelings for the other bc... why would they have that?#and why wouldnt they just talk about it before? as I said their arc was really done before the extra #which is why you had to make them lose their friendship and want to talk more from now on -bc if they keep being friends there wouldnt be #any moment that could be ambiguous enough #but with katsuki there are things left unsaid even when keeping in contact that involve each other and their self esteem #meaning they need to work in their communication #with 431 deku “going for” uraraka doesnt come off as “him choosing himself” and “living his life”#bc it was a decision that didnt involve any internal discussion about why he is the way he is #its not framed as him finally choosing for himself or being selfish -he just found her in his way home and wanted to talk more after no con #contact #he is still insecure about his needs and doesnt understand what katsuki means when he talks in such abstract ways #its not like he understood “oh I have to choose someone” or “I have to find my special person” bc he wasn't embarrassed about wanting to t #talk to her -he loves everyone yeah but he wants to talk to her more (they haven't talked to each other in so many years!)

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youchangedmedestiel · 1 year ago

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25 & 29

25. Have you ever upset yourself with your own writing?

I don't remember feeling upset as I wrote something. At least not yet. My writing actually helps me process things and deal with feelings. I tend to write happy endings but if somehow I end up writing a fic that doesn't, then maybe I'll be upset. If I manage to write about widower arc Dean one day, I'll probably be upsed, maybe that's why I don't write about him (yet).

29. Share a bit from a fic you’ll never post OR from a scene that was cut from an already posted fic. (If you don’t have either, just share a random fic idea you have that you don’t plan on getting to.)

It's a fic that happens after 8x22, one chapter is actually a fic I read and inspired me to write more about it and then it turned into something with more than 40k words. It was one of the first fic I wrote. I was experimenting my writing actually and words just kept flowing at me. I was just trying, okay? I just finished the show I had to let this all out and I was exploring their relationship. Anyway, don't judge me please. The scene I'm sharing with you happens in Dean's room at the bunker, there you go:

“Cas, what are you doing here?” Dean asks frowning, clearly still mad at Castiel’s reaction toward the flirty waitress. Castiel stands up and presses play on the stereo to start the song “The Rain Song” from Led Zeppelin. Dean looks at the stereo with his eyebrows still frowning, not understanding what is happening, since Castiel doesn’t answer his question.

“I need to tell you something, Dean.” Castiel starts smiling, walking toward Dean, while Dean just stands there, where he is looking at him. “I know you like this band and this song. This is why I chose it. And I know you know the lyrics but please listen to them. You will understand what I want to tell you.” Dean tilts his head and parts his lips, surprised. Even though, he doesn’t remember all the lyrics, not remembering every exact word, he knows what it is about. Plus, with the worry face Castiel makes, Dean understands what is happening. This is scaring the hell out of him but it is happening and he can’t stop it, he doesn’t really want to anyway. So, he smiles at him.

“Cas” he starts, wanting to apologize for doubting him with the waitress, but Castiel stops him instantly.

“Listen, Dean.” During the first lyrics, Castiel comes closer to Dean and extend one hand toward him. “I would like to dance with you,” Castiel offers. Dean hesitates while staring at him and puts his hand in Castiel’s. Both smiles as they lean in at the same time. Dean removes his hand from Castiel’s and puts his hands on his lower back, while Castiel puts his arms around Dean’s neck. When the first lyrics are sang, he rests his chin on Dean’s shoulder, while they dance slowly together.

“Listen,” he tells Dean again, whispering in his ear.

It is the springtime of my loving

The second season I am to know

You are the sunlight in my growing

So little warmth I've felt before

It isn't hard to feel me glowing

I watched the fire that grew so low, oooh, oh

“You helped me grow. You changed me, Dean.” Castiel starts when the first lyrics are over and only the melody stays, moving back his head to stare into Dean’s eyes while he cups his head with his hands. “You taught me so many things, you taught me how to feel. You taught me about free will. And I believed in it, I have faith in it, I have faith in you. I would do anything for you. I would die for you. I never used you, Dean. I never will.” Castiel says finally calling back to what happened in Dean’s first fantasy.

“Cas –“ Dean starts, swallowing his tears. “I know that now. I should have never doubted you, I’m sorry.” Dean says lowering his gaze, but Castiel lifts his head up a little bit, already missing looking into his eyes. Dean’s eyes are back staring at Castiel’s blue.

“And I’m sorry I gave you some reasons to believe I would do this to you.” Castiel’s eyes starts to be fill with tears too.

“You didn’t Cas, it’s not you. It’s me. I always think people will leave me.”

“I never will, Dean. I couldn’t. You hear me? I always come back to you at some point. When you told me that we were family, that you needed me in that crypt. You broke the hold Naomi had on me, Dean. Don’t you understand? I can’t stay away from you for too long. If I do it’s because I have no other choice and it’s to keep you safe.” Castiel’s heart is racing, carried away by the emotions invading him.

“You had a choice in Purgatory, and you chose to stay. You chose to let me leave without you.” Dean throws, remembering how hurt he felt at the time, when Castiel showed him what really happened at the gate, he even altered his own memories to avoid knowing Castiel’s left him on purpose.

“It was different I was feeling so much guilt about the Leviathans, about what I did to people, to angels and to you. I didn’t deserve to go out with you. I didn’t deserve you. I don’t deserve you.”

“You do, Cas. I’m the one that doesn’t deserve you. I always get angry and end up hurting people I care about. Hurting you.”

“It’s not true. You are not like that. Not at all. You see yourself how our enemies sees you but they are all wrong, you too. And you do, Dean. Deserve me.” Castiel says resting his head again on Dean’s shoulder, with his face buried in his neck this time. “Now, let’s dance slowly again. I like doing that with you. And listen to the song.” Castiel smiles against Dean’s neck.

It is the summer of my smiles

Flee from me, keepers of the gloom

Speak to me only with your eyes

It is to you I give this tune

Ain't so hard to recognize, oh

These things are clear to all from time to time, ooh

Oh, oh

“You are not like you said you are, Dean. When I look into your eyes, and after all these years, all I see is the most caring human in the whole world looking back at me. You care about people, ready to risk your own life to save them. You saved the world so many times. You saved ME too.” Castiel says moving his head back again to stare into Dean’s eyes, showing how much he deeply thinks what he is telling him.

Ah, talk, talk, talk, talk

Hey!

I've felt the coldness of my winter

I never thought it would ever go

I cursed the gloom that set upon us, upon us, upon us

But I know that I love you so, ohhhh, oh

But I know that I love you so

These are the seasons of emotion

And like the wind, they rise and fall

This is the wonder of devotion

I see the torch we all must hold

This is the mystery of the quotient, quotient

Ah, upon us all, upon us all a little rain must fall

Just a little rain, oh yeah

Uhh, ooooh, yeah yeah yeah

Castiel pulls back for the third time to look at Dean again. Dean is used to it now and he knows it means Castiel still has something to tell him. “We have been through so much together, you and me. Despite or thanks to all that, today I am able to say that –“ Castiel stops taking a deep breath to put all he feels in three little words as much as possible. “I love you”. He finally confesses, letting a tear run down his cheek. Dean swallows hard and wipes it with his thumb. He guessed what Castiel wanting to tell him, knowing the song, but he needed to be sure, he needed to hear what he had to say and he needed to hear that he loves him.

“I love you too, Cas.” Dean grabs Castiel’s neck with one hand and pulls him closer. He brushes their lips together, a desperate and passionate kiss, saying ‘I love you’ in another way again. Dean is overwhelmed by Castiel’s love and kiss, not controlling what is getting out of his mouth, his emotions, his feelings for him are getting the upper hand. “My mom used to tell me that angels were watching over me. I couldn’t believe her anymore when she died. But then, I met you Cas. And you gave me faith again. You always took care of me. You always watch over me, even when I sleep.” Dean chuckles and continues his speech, more seriously, putting his heart out. “Then, I fell in love with you as I never did before. I didn’t believe I could love someone like I love you. Cas, you are the light in my life, never think otherwise. You are my angel, you always have been.” Castiel smiles fondly at Dean’s confession, feeling his heart exploding in his chest, wanting to go out of it.

“I’m all yours and you are all mine.” Castiel declares with some lust replacing the happy tears in his eyes. “The song is already finished.” Castiel observes, looking at the stereo disappointed, while the music has ended a few minutes ago, but they were too focus on each other to notice.

“The song last more than 7 minutes, Cas.” Dean reminds him, chuckling, despite he didn’t notice when it ended either.

“I know, but it’s not enough. I like dancing with you, holding you in my arms.”

“I agree, I like it too.” Dean declares smiling fondly, stroking Castiel’s jaw with one hand.

“We should do that again some time.”

#thank you for the ask #ask game #one of my first fic #just a bit of it #it's difficult to understand with the context before I guess but it's still cute anyway #I'll probably never post it #there's a lot of smut in there #one chapter is not from me #they're also pretty out of character #but I guessed I needed to write it to let it all out #to try how was my writing too because I never wrote anything before #there's a zeppelin song in it #the rain song #it was hard to find one with a slow rhythm so they could dance #one where they could talk between lyrics #I noted the timestamp between them and timed how much time the lines should take for them to say so it could fit #and also with lyrics that matched their relationship in the fic #destiel #deancas #dean winchester #castiel #writing fanfiction #ao3 writer #I wasn't one at the time #I was just writing for myself #my destiel fanfic #emms answers

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