#but i cant bare to actually imagine love in a reciprocal way

[youraveragemushroom]

‘….’

[gay-dorito-dust]

Ford with a crush or an s/o thats just OBSESSED with his hands? and I mean OBSESSED

cant get enough of touching them, holding/intertwining them, kissing them, cupping their own face with him hand with theirs on top, bonus points if they get flustered when he holds/touches them and just him doing random stuff with his hands

and maybe a scene where they tell him how much they love his hands?

i love ur writings!!

Ford was ostracised for his hands, so much so that he always kept them shoved deep into his pockets whenever he went anywhere to avoid being made fun of anymore then he already was.

So when you came into his life and saw his six fingers, he thought you were going to be no different then anyone else who’s seen them, only to be surprised when you gingerly held his hand with a smile upon your face as you said. ‘You’ve got a beautiful pair of hands on you, hope that doesn’t sound too weird of me to say.’

It wasn’t, it was the furthest thing from weird for Ford as he found himself taken aback while you continued to admire his hands as though they were works of god themself!

Ford couldn’t believe his ears! Someone actually liked his hands, not bothered at all by the fact he had an extra finger, but instead adored them as you could barely stop yourself from gracing your fingers across each and every one of them; starting from his knuckle and all the way down to the tip of his fingertip while whispering words like ‘beautiful’ ‘unique’ and ‘amazing’ under your breath while doing so.

If this man didn’t already have a crush on you, then he most certainly did whenever you took his hands into your own and give them the love they were denied unconditionally, all the while his heart leapt into his dry throat that struggled to make any noise never less the ability to vocalise his never ending wonder regarding your fascination with his hands.

Something that would remain a mystery to Ford unless you felt comfortable disclosing with him in the nearby distant future, hopefully together as romantic partners.

His face was as red as cherries and his eyes would barely meet yours as a outcome, with his only responses to you being awkward chuckle and his glasses becoming askew on his face but being unable to push them up since you’ve held his hands hostage.

Imagine the noise that would break from his mouth the moment you began to get bold and start kissing his fingers, wrists and the rest of his hands in general, all the while being them up to your face to cup your warm cheeks as you smiled into his palms they could feel the heat radiating from your skin.

It was a sight that Ford wishes he could keep engrave in his mind for the rest of his life, but didn’t want to seem weird by you if you were to see the way he looked at you so fondly.

Ford would soon find that you would even become flustered when he was going the smallest and simplest things he did with his hands, and he only found this out when he innocently rested his hand on your waist to get something nearby, only to feel you subconsciously lean towards his touch as though it was the only thing to ground you.

Ford had even caught you shamelessly looking at his hands as he fiddled with his pen, pencils and other objects that he was holding at the time, and would become a bit bold himself by doing some cool trick he learnt as he rather liked having your attention on him whenever he could. So much so that he would leave little bits and bobs about the lab and house for the sake of having something to entertain his fidgety hands.

He would even use the knowledge of how you seem to melt under his touch by placing his hand on your shoulder in greeting, or on your elbow to gently pull you away when he felt you’d be put in any dangerous situations for your protection. Ford wouldn’t say it aloud but he did liked that you seemingly melted like butter from his touch, it made him think that his feelings were reciprocated in some regard; However he wasn’t one to hold onto a fantasy that’ll never become reality until you tell him yourself.

Everything came to light one afternoon where you and Ford were sat on porch of the mystery shack, shoulder to shoulder, as your hand was intertwined with his own with his sixth finger encasing your hand.

‘My dear I hope you don’t mind me asking but this has been on my mind for quite a while now, since we met actually, but what do you find so interesting about my hands?’ Ford finally asks. ‘For all my life I’ve been ridiculed for my six fingers, but then you come along and look at them with love and kindness, so much so the to can’t help but wonder why.’

You smiled softly at him as you squeezed his hand. ‘They’re beautiful Ford.’ You answered simply. ‘Your hands are quite possibly the most precious thing I have ever come across in my life and should be embraced rather than ashamed of.’ You add as you pressed a kiss to the sixth finger, nuzzling it a little much to Ford’s surprise, his poor heart couldn’t handle anymore of this then it already has to endure on a daily basis.

‘How so?’ Ford squeaks, feeling his glasses slip from his face, but you pushed them back up with your free hand and held his cheek afterwards, so that he was forced to look at you.

‘Because I find every aspect of you equally as beautiful Stanford pines and I won’t hear anything else, for you are a wonderful man with a beautiful heart and a celebrated mind, but I’d wish to celebrate your hands and their handiness.’ You chuckled at your one pun as Ford could only stare at you with hearts in his eyes.

‘Those who said anything negative or harmful of you are wrong and are probably in some dead end job going nowhere, where are you are doing what you love, but it is clear to see that your heart still hold the scars of the words thrown at you from all angles. So please let me help you unlearn all of that however I can because you of all people deserve to recants just how beautiful and wonderful you truly are through the eyes of the people who love you most.’ You admitted, holding his hand tighter for comfort, for reassurance as Ford could only stare at you as though he was looking at you for the first time again before smiling.

‘I’d like to say I’m fully accepting of myself because of you my dear, but we shall see what the future brings, together.’ Ford said softly as you both remained sat in silence, but this time you were snuggled into Ford’s side and his hand was firmly at your waist, squeezing comfortingly.

[chaeonlyknows]

Casual - Jasper Hale

A/N: i know that jasper would NEVER, this is just for the sake of my angsty imaginations okay? he’s a gentleman and so so inlove. how could he? just bare with me in this alternate universe okay? anyways, please tell me if you hate it lol this is my first time publishing so forgive me if its shit. i tried my best, if this doesnt work out, maybe writing isnt for me… enjoy! and thank you for reading!

also, this is inspired by chappell roan’s casual, i just love her!!

edit: just fixing my grammatical errors.

Warnings: a little angst and mentions of sex, i think there were curse words? 18+!

my friends call me a loser cause im still hanging around

“y/n? what’s wrong with you?” angela asks you, jessica has been talking on and on about her and mike, so much that you unexpectedly drown in your own thoughts about you and jasper. “she’s thinking about jasper again.” jessica says, rolling her eyes. you turn your head around to sneak a peak at the cullens. “ugh, what are you guys anyway? what? edward got bella now his brother wants to mingle with you as well? like, come on people, im losing my friends to the cullens!” jessica keeps on rambling but your mind seems to be elsewhere. bella gives you that look that says “are you okay?” and you nod, ignoring jessica’s comments, once again, getting drowned in your thoughts. “—plus i heard that he had some type of thing going on with another girl. didnt emmett and rosalie talk about that?” and suddenly, upon hearing this, you turn to jessica with the look of confusion. angela and bella noticed this and angela spoke up. much to your dismay, you were so stupid. stupid enough to actually think that jasper hale would ever like you for you.

i’ve heard so many rumours that im just a girl that you bang on your couch.

“im really sorry to be the one to tell you this, y/n..” alice says, confirming what angela has told you. “i heard that jasper brushed off the rumours of you and him by saying you were only fucking, not so much as a relationship or bond. you guys were only casual.” angela’s words never left your mind.. you try to hold back your tears and nodded at alice, you thanked her for her honesty and left immediately.

i thought you thought of me better someone you couldnt lose.

how stupid are you y/n? why? why did you let yourself fall for such an arrogant boy?? you thought to yourself whilst walking on the way home. he didnt even feel the same way, he didnt feel what i felt whenever he calls me by those weirdly lovey nicknames, he didnt feel what i felt when he kissed me on my cheek. he never did. and you were just stupid to think that he’d actually reciprocate your feelings. you kept beating yourself up for falling in love with a cullen. unfortunately, you weren’t as lucky as bella. she fell inlove with a cullen that loves her back and you fell inlove with… well… a boy.

you said “we’re not together” so now when we kiss i have anger issues.

“hi darlin’, i missed you.” jasper greets you with a kiss as he sits beside you during your shared class. you pull away quickly and he could feel the irritable emotion that you’re feeling and immediately catches this. “what’s wrong baby?” he asks you searching your eyes for clues. you dont look at him and hum in response. “nothing, jas… im fine.” you respond without looking at him. it hurts, it just hurts. but i cant let him go.

you said “baby no attachment.”

“what’s happenin’ to you y/n? i thought we were on the same page? no attachment, remember? honey?” he asks. you feel rage creeping in you, how dare he? no attachment? and then he calls you honey? “i know, jas.. sorry” you apologise, finally looking up at him “no attachment… right, i forgot.” you said bitterly. you two had argued when he picked you up for a “date”, because he tried to kiss you as if nothing happened, you brought up the fact that he was seen with another girl and he got defensive which lead to this. he kisses your cheek and promises to make it up to you.

but we’re knee deep in the passenger seat and you’re eating me out, is it casual now?

“i’ll make it up to you sweetheart” he says as he adjusts himself on his knees whilst you’re in the passenger seat. he fiddles with your skirt and underwear as his lips start tracing the inside of your thighs. his grip on your thighs are tight and you feel your climax coming down. he continues, inserting his tongue in and out of you while his other hand losens it’s grip on your thigh and rubs on your clit.

two weeks and your mom invites me to her house in long beach, is it casual now?

“hello y/n!” rosalie greets you on your way to history class which startled you and made you jump a little. “uhm… hi rosalie.” you greet her awkwardly, taken aback by her sudden kindness to you. maybe she felt pity. “i just wanted to let you know that we’re having a quick trip next week, esme wanted to let you know that she wants you to go with us.” she says as emmett walks towards you both. “yeah, esme really misses you both, jasper will be there” emmett gives you a wink which you try hard not to roll your eyes at. “i’ll think about it, i might be busy though. thanks rosalie, emett” glancing at the both of them and walking away. you definitely dont want to get caught up with jasper on a trip, with his family. remember, it’s casual.

i know what you tell your friends, it’s casual.

“jasper!” emmett calls him, “esme wanted to invite y/n over next week at the beach house, we already invited her… so… just wanted to let you know.” emmett says as he and edward smirks at this. “you invited y/n?” he asked, very much clueless. “yeah, carlisle wanted her there too, he said she was a nice girl.” edward adds. “i might not come with you guys then.” jasper states, clearly annoyed. “what’s wrong with her coming with us, jas?” emmett asks sarcastically. “oh right! you two are just casual.” edward answers the question for jasper and the two snicker at this. jasper shakes his head and walks away before they could taunt him further.

if it’s casual now, baby, get me off again.

jasper kisses you, hard. he loves doing this to you. overstimulating you. making you come, again and again, and again… he loves how you feel, clenching around him when you’re about to come. his grip gets tighter and he fucks you harder. kissing your neck, chest, everything. and after you guys are done? every praise, assurance, word that he said vanishes. discarded. once he gets his pants on again, he leaves, giving you a peck on the cheek. and that’s all.

if its casual now, if its casual now then.

it’s saturday and the girls wanted to hang out, and you decided you wanted to go with them. you guys planned a sleep over for next week and you talked about boys, movies, and prom. which you didnt know whether or not you’d be going to attend. “y/n?? y/n!” jessica basically shouts your name to get your attention. “yeah, huh?” you say cluelessly. “didnt you hear what angela said?” jessica asked, you shake your head no and angela repeats herself. “as i was saying, this boy… andrew.. what’s his last name again?” she asked the girls, “andrew jones?” bella answers. “oh right! andrew jones! anyway, he was asking me for your phone number. he wanted to ask you out!” angela tells you and her and jessica squeal in excitement. you felt weird though, going on a date while you’re with jasper? “oh come on, y/nnnnn! dont tell me that you’re thinking about that jasper again?” jessica rolls her eyes. “i am, dont you think it’ll be weird? going out with someone else while you have a —thing— with another person?” you state.

dumb love i love being stupid, dream of us in a year, maybe we’d have an apartment and you’d show me off to your friends at the pier.

“so? jasper did the same to you, with multiple girls. plus i thought you guys were clear on no attachment? remember? it’s just casual.” jessica argues. “she’s right y/n, you shouldnt settle for a casual fling.” angela agrees with her. you look at bella and she says “im with them on this one, y/n. im sorry but you have to be honest with yourself.” feeling bad for you. you nod your head and gave andrew a chance the next week.

i know “baby no attachment.” but we’re…knee deep in the passenger seat and you’re eating me out is it casual now?

jasper told you to meet him by his car because he “missed” you, and you reluctantly agreed. you couldnt stay away from him. he then opened the car door for you and same old story, he kisses you, you fight, he “makes it up to you” and you let it go, not wanting to argue any further.

two weeks and your mom invites me to her house in long beach, is it casual now?

declining the cullen’s offer, you didn’t say why or explain your reason. you just told rosalie that you couldn’t come and she understood. but, bella accidentally mentioned it to edward and alice because alice told her that you were supposed to be there with them and bella mentioned you and your date. “what?! y/n’s going on a date???” alice squealed in excitement which grabbed everyone’s attention. “who’s going on a date?” emmett asks, which made rosalie and jasper look at the three of them. as alice was about to speak, bella cuts her off by saying “no one! alice just got excited, you know..” widening her eyes at alice to contain herself. “y/n is.. you know? the y/n that jasper has a fling with?” he sneers and bella nudges him rather aggressively and he groans. “i told you not to tell them, it was supposed to be a secret!” bella whispered-semi yelled. “oh.” was all edward said and smirked at jasper who seemed a bit mad but oh well, it’s just a casual fling.

i know what you tell your friends, it’s casual..

andrew gets out of his car and knocks on your front door with flowers in hand, your dad opens the door and he gulps. “hi sir, i’m here to take your daughter, y/n, out on a date. i promise that i’ll take good care of her and bring her home before 8pm. we will just be going out, to the theatre, nothing else. we will be watching (your favourite movie) and after that, i’ll bring her straight home.” he offers your dad a smile and your dad is taken aback by this and hesitantly lets you go with him. before you leave he gives andrew a strict look and tells him “before 8.” and closes the door.

you and andrew had so much fun, he asked if he could kiss you on your cheek and you agreed. you asked him questions about himself and he answered them quite nicely and he let you speak about your interests. before escorting you to your doorstep at 7:48… he opens your car door for you. “let’s do this again sometime? i’ll see you on monday y/n.” he smiles at you and kisses your hand. he walks to his car but doesnt leave until you got inside safely. you were daydreaming about him a lot now, he was so dreamy. you thought. he was a gentleman and from what it looks like, he’s the perfect match for you. he treats you the way you want to be treated… but..

if its casual now then baby get me off again, if it’s casual…

andrew picks you up more frequently after your first date, he became your ride to school the past few days and you guys had talked back to back, jamming to your favorite songs… you never experienced this with jasper. when you both arrive, he opens the car door for you and almost everyone at school stops to look at you both. even the cullens.

“oh my god.” angela says in shock. she’s happy for you and andrew. she’s proud of herself because this was her doing.

“no way!!” jessica exclaimed. “bella are you seeing this?” she calls, the three girls smiled at you as you and andrew walk up to them.

what you didn’t notice was, jasper looking at you both. more like glaring into your souls. if he was alive, his blood would be boiling right now.

FLASHBACKS:

its hard being casual when my favourite bra lives in your dresser.

he unclips your bra while making out with you, both of you shirtless and his lips start tracing your neck and chest, he throws your favourite bra on the floor, discarding every piece of clothing you two had on. he couldnt wait to feel you again.

it’s hard being casual when im on the phone talking down your sister.

alice wanted your help on throwing a party, she called you because she was in distress about it. “i cant think properly y/n! it just seems like something is missing!” alice exaggerates as she rambles about what theme or what color she was going to use for the party.

definitely casual. you think to yourself.

i try to be the chill girl that holds her tongue and gives you space.

“it’s not fair jasper! you’ve been going out with girls, you were seen last night by MY friends! do you not know how embarrassing that is for me?” you yell at him not being able to take it anymore. “baby… baby… calm down. they were nothing. look, i dont know why you’re acting up again, i thought you agreed? casual? honey?” he reminds you.

i try to be the chill girl but honestly im not.

“what the fuck? that’s all you have to say?” you couldnt hold off your anger anymore and opened the car door and you left. jasper chased after you, “baby�� come on… i’ll make it up to you, i promise.” he tries to convince you, being the pathetically inlove girl you were, you agreed.

knee deep in the passenger seat and you’re eating me out.

same old, same old. his fingers play with your skirt and adjusting your underwear so he could insert his two fingers inside you. you moan at this and he begins to fasten his fingers’ pace, making you cry out his name. he kisses your thighs and removes his hands, replacing them with his mouth.

END OF FLASHBACK!

two weeks and your mom invites me to her long beach house.

“oh hi, y/n! we weren’t expecting guests…” esme trails off, looking at you and jasper. “hi mrs. cullen, no worries, i was just passing by.” you greet her with a smile and she smiles back. “well, do you wanna maybe stay for dinner? we’re having italian..” she offers you and you look at jasper who nods at you, well.. how could you refuse? you smile at esme.

i know what you tell your friends.

“wow jasper, that was unexpected.” rosalie jokes, “what is?” jasper asks. “the way you let her stay for dinner!” emmett adds snickering at jasper. they all know that he’s falling for her. jasper ignores their comments and went up to his room, where you were sitting on a chair, with a box full of your stuff that you’ve left behind. jasper had a plan, he wanted to talk to you and make it official before andrew beats him to it. he wanted to let you know how much he cherished and needed you.. he agreed to give back your stuff, but he wasn’t giving up without a fight.

baby get me off again.

“baby, what’re you doin’ there?” he notices you checking your stuff, polaroids and letters you’ve sent to him that he never bothered to open. “nothing, jasper. just checking.” slightly cringing at the nickname. he reaches for your hand and pulls you closer to him, making you stand up. he leans closer to you and you pull away, “what are you playing at, jasper?” you ask him and you laugh at his attempt. realizing that he isnt joking, you feel annoyed. “stop. dont even start.” you spoke. “start what baby?” he asks innocently. “dont.” you said sternly. he pulls you closer and kisses you, you melt in his touch. you know that it isnt right, you know that this is not what you should want… but you cant stop.

i fucked you in the bathroom when we went to dinner..

(you guys didnt fuck okay, just kissed)

you got the strength to pull away and push him off. “whats wrong, darlin’?” he asks. “stop it jasper. im with andrew, i cant do this. i came here to get my stuff back and end things. i cant do this anymore.” you told him. “baby, we can talk about this.. please. i need you.” he responded. before he could do anything else, you walk away.

your parents at the table..

esme and carlisle hear you and jasper walking down and as esme was about to update you on the cooking, you bid your goodbye. “im sorry mrs. cullen, i have to take a raincheck… thankyou though.it was nice of you to think about me.” you say in a rush. carlisle and esme found this unusual. “well.. atleast bella and edward are on their way.. no food went to waste.” carlisle spoke.

you wonder why im bitter,

jasper runs after you and he pleads for you to talk to him. “baby please. i was dumb to ever think that this was only casual. i dont want this to end, please. dont go with him. i’ll treat you right, i’ll treat you better.” he says while holding onto you.

bragging to your friends i get off when you hit it,

shaking your head, you dont say anything, it seems like you’re lost for words at the moment and you break his hold on you, running to your car as fast as you can and starting it. jasper stands still, if he had a heart, it would be breaking right now. he feels regret, and heartbroken.

i hate to tell the truth but im sorry dude you didnt.

driving off, you finally felt free.

jasper on the other hand, he felt frozen in time. wondering why he took you for granted. wondering why time is such a pain.

i hate that i let this drag on so long, now i hate myself. i hate that i let this drag on so long, you can go to hell.

part two?

[baahsu]

ong hi new anon welcome to our small, small slice of the internet full of vscest related content!! its me, essay anon, aka (bc we're getting a handful of anons now and it can get hard to differentiate) J.J :) neways new sustenance for yall:

rahh casually affectionate sanji unknowingly being the death of emotions-restored/redeemed 124ji!!

like now that he can get in all the touching (both sexual and nonsexual kind) he missed out on in the past, he sooo eager to be hanging off any of his brothers whenever he gets the chance!!!

i can imagine him throwing himself in yonjis lap all the time, getting nice and comfy while ranting excitedly about his interests- like the new recipes hes come up with recently. and yonji- while very happy to *try* and listen because a: "omg sanji" and b: "omg food"- is barely able to keep up bc hes too flustered by the way sanji keeps squirming in his lap and pressing against his chest all while smiling at him like hes the most interesting thing to look at in the whole world. yonji cant tell if hes horny or genuinely flustered over it. prolly both lol

since (i think? feel free to fact check me lol) nijis closest to snooj in height, sanji would lean on/against him. *a lot*. yk like that *casual* casual physical affection. one day niji was just chilling on a couch or smthn and sanji came and sat right next to him, resting his head on his shoulder and making niji figuratively (and prolly literally too lol) short-circuit. just imagine how red nijis face would be– "oh my god WHAT?! fuck hes so warm, he smells so nice, do i do something?? what do i *do* fuck fuck shit-" like hes internally freaking out heart racing a million miles a minute and nose threatening to bleed n sanjis there beside him all like "😇😇" with not a worry in the world bc hes been wanting this his whole life lmaoo

ichijis an interesting case to me bc i imagine him as p hard to fluster, even after the addition of emotions. so i think itd all just have to Hit him one day for him to get real flustered about sanjis affections. like the two r chilling, cuddling together and suddenly it clicks for ichiji that "oh. im holding sanji. *the* sanji. *MY* sanji." and all the emotional weight of sanji's kind, casual affections hit him at once, making his heart beat out of his chest n have him turn teary eyed and face beet red. if sanji had his head on ichis chest and felt his heartrate spike he'd look up at him all confused and concerned- and thats all it takes for ichi to kiss (and fuck :]) him senseless

no reiju inclusion bc a: sanji would never touch a lady without express permission! and b: even if it was behind closed doors, sanji was already affectionate with reiju before in the past as kids, so hes not worried on missing out. ofc that doesnt mean he'll turn down affection from big sis- he'd never!!! just means she aint priority number 1 on his "people to smother with affection" list <3<3

ok me tired gn/gm bahhh <3<3 -J.J

J.J!!!! I feel like I need to say nice to meet you now we both have names akdkakd

Omg omg!!! This description of yonji really made me think of him as a puppy, he's just so happy to be around sanji and listen to him and "omg it's sanji!! He's really here!!! I must behave so he continues doing this!!" But he also wants to touch and reciprocate the cuddling so he just sits there kinda trembling in excitement waiting for sanji to hint it's ok for yonji to pounce on him

Niji giving off the tsundere vibes I love, he's really going through it and maybe one time he even kinda shoves sanji away because "wtf are you doing omg warn a man???" And sanji's not actually mad because he knows how they are now and he understands niji's trying but emotions and feeling and affection are still hard

I agree with ichiji too, he's so in control of himself and nothing phases him and of course he's delighted sanji's with him, but it's still not in him to outwardly show it. He'll gladly run his fingers through sanji's hair tho, and nuzzles against his cheeks and neck, and in the middle of it it'll hit him that sanji's there and he loves him and sanji loves him back and it's so overwhelming he's afraid sanji will notice and ask him if everything's ok, because at that point he won't even know how to answer it

[zero-braincells-left]

not a vent post but idk if anyone actually wants to listen to me talk about romance and my gf and. my confidence in my romantic attraction shattering right in front of me lmao. anywho

tldr: hmmmmmmmmmm hey i might be lithromantic. but first let’s go on several unrelated tangents that only barely go together to prove whatever point i was trying to make??

ive kind of felt like i feel romance. wrong ? like i know there isn’t a wrong way like this and whatnot but it’s still just. idk. first of all like,,,, i just don’t get the concept of falling in love (romantic). what being in love would even feel like. but most definitely not in an aromantic way, no, i 100% do have crushes. i am. extremely sure about that part. but that’s just liking people. i feel like im too young to be in love, but everyone else announces such. last time i used the word love romantically was fucking forever ago when i was in 4th grade with my very first crush. that, in fact, was not love. love is just a strong word.

(after writing everything else im unsure where to put this where it fits, but also, I haven’t really been able to imagine myself in any sort of long term, romantic relationship. i don’t want to get married, and i can’t see myself dating someone for, like, life.)

but i love my friends. because that’s platonic. love is a perfectly acceptable word to use for platonic or familial things in my mind. just not romance, at least not for myself? like i get the thing of having a partner and being able to say “i love you” and i mean. cmon. with all the ships i have I’ve imagined that with characters plenty of times. but like

i love my best(?) friend so, sosososo much more than i “love” my girlfriend. because, with dating, i just like her. romantic . and she knows that and the feelings mutual because love is just too strong a word for a relationship both of us know isn’t forever. but. do i even like her (romantic.)? i think so? i had a crush on her for like. half a year. and i know that was a crush, for sure. and that day on Halloween when we started dating i was happy, i was excited. but something about calling her my “girlfriend” felt so. weird. ive never dated anyone before, not even a shitty 3 day long elementary school “dating” kinda thing, so i just kinda chalked it up to that. i still can’t pinpoint what it is but right now. yeah, okay, we’re dating. whenever i think about that fact—I like the thought of it but i don’t like that it’s real. that it’s happening. the thought of being ‘romantic’ or holding hands or anything feels genuinely uncomfortable if i think about it now, even when it used to be a nice idea. and in practice, before either of us knew the other liked them, and we had all sorts of “fake” flirting bullshit, i was also perfectly fine and even happy (and flustered) by the closeness because. i liked her. and now with a relationship, even if the idea makes me really uncomfy, in practice I don’t really mind. it’s just, kind of, neutral.

speaking of which, I’ve made several “if you say that again im breaking up with you” or when she does something dumb/silly and goes ‘oh yeah? what you gonna do? break up with me?’ “yes” jokes. and like. she’s fine with that and we both think it’s funny but. i genuinely don’t not mean it, like, the idea of breaking up with her doesn’t bother me (well, it does a bit.) and the idea of staying with her, still dating, also doesn’t bother me (well, it does a bit). again im just completely neutral on it, and she knows this. but i feel like im only here because she likes dating me more than i enjoy it. i cant tell if I like this or not.

it’s like, knowing my feelings were reciprocated and being able to date her like I wanted to, made my feelings go away or at least. lessen (cause i still, I guess, do like her? sort of?)

anyways i guess I might be lithromantic then ? i already know of that label AND I’d considered it before.

for long as I can remember now, I guess, whenever I have crushes I can get over them really quickly. it’s just having that closure that’s fine. hell, earlier this year I liked one of my friends so i told him, got confirmation he didn’t like me back, and then got over it the next day. that was just a few months of crushing though—a couple years ago, i had a crush on one of my main friends at the time for one whole year. December to February of the following year. my feelings didn’t weaken over that time, either. then i got peer pressured into confessing, got confirmation it was a no, and the VERY. NEXT . DAY. i was over him. i knew it was a no so I didn’t dwell on it.

it’s just always been like that, I guess. i can get over anyone if I have the closure.

but nobody’s ever liked me back before. what happens if that ‘closure’ is a yes? i thought about it one time maybe a year or so ago and thought that, yeah, maybe I’d stop liking someone if that was the case. and now it… sort of is. i don’t know how I feel about my gf or what to do about it and I don’t know how to talk to her about it. i know she’s understanding of that so it’s not that im scared she’ll think im weird or wrong for it, just. idk. i dont even know what I’d say, but I might try tomorrow.

im fine dating her, i honestly don’t mind it, i just feel like being able to. express how i do feel about it at least haha. and i feel really guilty that this might be mostly one-sided on her end.

i have another thing to say actually but I’ll rb and add it on cause I want to end this specific thought here

[quodekash]

well that episode was freaking SOMETHING

Gun in Tinn’s imagination is always the funniest thing

WHY WAS POR’S OVERNIGHT BAG SO FULL

Also I thought that now they’ve both confessed we wouldn’t get anymore Tinn imagination scenes but we still get them and I deeply appreciate it because they’re so freaking funny

TIW THOUGHT SOUND AND GUN WERE SECRETLY DATING AND I WAS FREAKING OUT COS SURELY HE DIDN’T ACTUALLY SEE THAT AND WAS TIW TRYING TO CREATE DRAMA AND WAS OUR BESTEST SHIPPING BOY STARTING TO BECOME NOT THE BESTEST but it was fine, he misread the situation, and Tinn barely changed the way he spoke to gun and they communicated and solved it quickly so it was fine

When the characters suddenly speak English, if only for a little bit, it’s so startling. Like stop. Stop speaking our disgusting language pls keep speaking your beautiful flowing poetic lovely language I prefer hearing that, English is so jarring. Like I’m so used to neung sawng saam see not oNe TwO tHrEe FoUr

they said they had to run through the rain. no one saw it rain. and also they surely smell like chlorine. how is everyone so STUPID?? (INCLUDING Tinn’s mum)

“I slept really well in class, I’m ready to pull an all-nighter!” Ah, the classic high school experience

about halfway through I was getting very angry cos we’d gotten like five seconds of Soundwin

but then immediately that thirst was quenched

also HOW WAS WIN PUTTING ON SOUND’S HELMET MORE INTIMATE THAN WHEN THEY LITERALLY BASICALLY KISSED??? HOW DID THAT HAPPEN. WHAT IS THIS SORCERY??? I’m not complaining but HOW

“Save that hand to play guitar, let me be the hand for you” HOLY. BAJOOLIES.

WE FINALLY GOT THE MOTORBIKE SCENE

WIN WAS ACTUALLY BEING NICE TO SOUND AND SOUND WAS ACTUALLY GENUINELY HAPPY IN WIN’S PRESENCE

WIN FED SOUND WIN FED SOUND WIN FED SOUND

AND THE WAY HE DID IT- THEYRE LITERALLY JUST BOYFRIENDS AT THIS POINT

yes Tinn and gun you’re very cute and you’re the main characters and yadda yadda I love you but could we please get back to Soundwin????

“What musicians like me want the most ISNT advice or nice instruments. It’s the audience.” LUKE PATTERSON IS THAT YOU?

WIN OPENING AND CLOSING THE WATER BOTTLE FOR SOUND FJFJFJFJH

“I want to pee.” “Why are you telling me?” REFERENCES TO THE LAST EPISODE FJFJFJFHH

AND SOUND’S PURE ELATED SMILE- I CANT TAKE IT

“You want me to take you?” “I’m kidding. Thanks.” “How’s your wrist? Is it better?” “Why? Are you worried about me?” “…What? I’m worried about our band. I’m afraid you can’t play guitar.” “Don’t worry. I’m 100% fit to play. I got a very good caretaker.” “Of course. I’m a very good caretaker.” First of all: MY HEART! Second: they’ve never been so GENUINE with each other. Every time sound said a word, he was looking up at win, and pure joy, elation, happiness, ALL THOSE GOOD WORDS, were all over his face. He’s literally never been so smiley and happy, especially not in win’s presence. (My guess is he’s finally seeing that there’s a chance for his feelings to be reciprocated so he has hope and happiness and HE MAKES ME HAPPY OKAY?)

“let’s not waste all of the bbq pork we’ve eaten!” Out of context, that’s just a weird little quote. But if you’ve seen the show, it’s actually inspirational and lovely (i may go more into this another day)

HELL YEAH THEY GOT INTO THE NEXT ROUND OF HOT WAVE

they need to compose a new song which will be really difficult but it’s fine

I’d also just like to say real quick: I love guns mother with ALL MY SOUL. “*pinching his cheek* you did great, buttface” HOW IS SHE SUCH A PERFECT MOTHER??? AND THAT HUG. THAT WAS A PERFECT HUG.

this show may actually be the death of me.

I saw the nivea bottle. I smelt the sponsorship. And I made my predictions: Tinn was going to appear out of nowhere and clean gun’s face for him and they would have a sweet moment.

and then what happened? Exactly that.

and then they made it seem like they were FINALLY GOING TO KISS but it was only a flipping forehead kiss. Which like that’s fine I like forehead kisses they’re very cute but I got my hopes up for nothing

Tinngun’s hug at the end was a very nice hug

EPISODE 9 TRAILER

WE’RE FINALLY GETTING THE FREAKING BEACH SCENES AND I GENUINELY DONT KNOW IF ILL SURVIVE THE WEEK. AND IF I DO, IDK HOW IM GONNA SURVIVE THE EPISODE

why are Tiw and Tinn there. They’re not in the music club. Im not mad I’d just like to know please.

I THINK SOUND’S LOVE SONG IS GONNA BE NEXT EPISODE OH MY GOSH IVE BEEN W A I T I N G FOR THIS

”gun and sound, yoy two write a song for the final round.” “do you want to try writing a love song?” “I like that.” “…yOU JUST SAID-“ “HEY!” “DONT TELL ME…” I THINK GUN AND SOUND ARE GONNA FIND OUT ABOUT EACH ORHER’S TINN AND WIN IT’S GONNA BE GREAT

AND ALSO GUN IS TELLING THE GUYS ABOUT TINN????????? IM SO CONFUSED

[spnshameblog]

Ich habe 8.718 Mal im Jahr 2022 etwas gepostet

384 Einträge erstellt (4%)

8.334 Einträge gerebloggt (96%)

Blogs, die ich am häufigsten gerebloggt habe:

@spnshameblog

@castiellesbian

@xofemeraldstars

@ladsofsorrow24

@ledzeppelinmixtape

Ich habe 2.890 meiner Einträge im Jahr 2022 getaggt

#castiel – 705 Einträge

#m – 522 Einträge

#ask – 40 Einträge

#spn – 35 Einträge

#anon – 33 Einträge

#supernatural – 30 Einträge

#jary prequel – 26 Einträge

#jary prequel hate – 25 Einträge

#minors dni – 19 Einträge

#dean winchester – 18 Einträge

Longest Tag: 136 characters

#beloved mutual. unfollowed. blocked. has me blocked. beloved mutual. who tf is that. blocked. wow your opinion on that sure has changed.

Meine Top-Einträge im Jahr 2022:

#5

Hes tiny

411 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 24. Januar 2022

#4

Literally me looking at castiel

423 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 23. April 2022

#3

I like imagining dean going "43 huh? I really am an old man now :)" and he means it in a positive way, bc he never expected to live past 30, but cas gets so OFFENDED on his behalf like "dean you are NOT old, the average life expectancy is around 80, you are barely half that age!"

And dean finds it hilariously funny so he decides to egg cas on like "no but cas, cant you see these crows feet? Also i swear i found a grey hair yesterday and my stamina isnt what it used to be..."

"Dean if this is about your sexual prowess, i can assure you-"

708 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 24. Januar 2022

#2

Personally, im fond of "dean thinks he already confessed and cas doesnt return his feelings" truthing, bc it makes both of them look like dumbasses.

Dean thinks his feelings were obvious since almost saying "i love you" in the crypt, but he thinks cas DEFINITELY knows after his prayer in the trap, so cas not saying anything back must mean hes trying to let him down easy, right? He doesnt need to explicitly state his feelings and intentions, because they must be embarrassingly obvious. Cas has to know he is loved, forgiven and wanted, the fact that he doesnt reciprocate and keeps leaving is a clear enough answer in itself.

Except, cas is kind of a tunnel visioned autism boy and he NEEDS stuff spelled out for him at least once.

So while dean is over there being an emotionally repressed bag of "if i never talk about my humiliatingly soft feelings out loud, i cant ever be rejected out loud. people just have to KNOW", we have cas going "too bad my embarrassingly soft feelings obviously arent returned, i better keep them to myself so i dont ruin the friendship i have by being greedy" and theyre both wrong and most other people can easily see that.

Cas NEEDS it said out loud, thats why his verbal confession made him so happy, the words had been choking him for ages. Meanwhile dean is visibly confused bc why now and why is cas acting like his feelings arent returned when he KNOWS that dean.... and by the time dean has processed all of it, its too late.

Them overcoming their trust issues, low self esteem and bad communication skills together is essential to me in any post-canon fix it. Dean needs to know that its ok to talk about feelings and that cas deserves the security of an actual confession and cas needs to learn that not everything has to be explicitly spelled out for it to be true and he can just trust deans love for him.

818 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 17. Juli 2022

Meine #1 des Jahres 2022

I think cas is so cute like teethclenching, stomachache, squeeze, cry cute, like i cant fucking handle it cute and idk why???

1.020 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 12. Januar 2022

Hol dir deinen Tumblr-Jahresrückblick 2022 →

[homemade-ghosts]

do you think gina will be saying she loves ej back at all? i keep feeling like she will because she thinks she does love him. when i think of that scenario i keep wondering to myself how we get to what happens in ep 7 then? every other spoiler has been correct so i cant see why this would be the one spoiler that’s not but how do we get to gina saying she loves ei to That. i fear they’ll call ricky a rebound bc they have no media literacy and/or call gina a cheater 😭😭

always taking that way the fact the only shot we have for ep 8 is gina and ricky looking at each other while singing with corbin and miss jen in the middle to me means good things even without knowing spoilers but

If this season were longer, I'd say maybe (because there would be time for Gina to say it back and then, 2-3 episodes later, realize she was never really in love with EJ, she was in love with the idea of him) but given the limited time we have left this season + what we know about ep 7, I'd have to say no. If EJ does tell Gina he loves her, I don't think she'll say it back.

Gina, like Anna with Hans, saw her relationship with EJ through rose-colored glasses. He was her fantasy of the perfect first boyfriend...until he wasn't. The more Gina got to know Ricky, the more they connected, but it had the opposite effect with EJ. The more she found out about him, the more she felt like she couldn’t trust or rely on him, the more she realized just how disconnected they really are.

While I don’t think she’ll reciprocate the “I love you”, I do think it’s possible that they make up early into episode 6. Maybe EJ, knowing that Miss Jenn is currently on her way to camp to take over some of his directorial responsibilities, tells Gina that he promises they’ll spend more time together soon. He promises he’ll be there for her, that she can count on him. She reluctantly accepts and gives him a chance to prove it...but then, according to the 306 promo, he misses her “basketball triumph” (side note: I’m still unsure if this is a reference to a literal basketball game that the Blue Team wins for Color Wars or Gina’s duet with Corbin on the faux basketball court stage) and that’s the final straw. EJ claims he’s “the guy who shows up”, but he forgot a key part of showing up: you have to keep doing it. You have to put in the effort. You have to stick around. 

The rose-colored glasses are off and now they’ve got a crack right down the middle. It’s over. Gina knows she deserves more than this, she deserves someone who won’t just say he loves her, but actually work to show her that love (”love’s not a thing you get: it’s work and tears and sweat.”). Gina won’t settle for some superficial, hail Mary declaration of love & I hope she’ll tell EJ as much. 

I know this is probably unlikely, but whenever I imagine this scene I picture Gina saying something like, “For once, EJ, just be honest. You don’t love me, you barely even know me! All this lying and hiding and not apologizing? That’s not love. I deserve someone who’s going to be there for me, who can be happy for me without thinking about himself. I deserve someone--” EJ interrupts with, “Someone like Ricky?” & BOOM, there’s your set up for the events of ep 7.

No matter how that scene actually goes, even if they don't officially break up in ep 6, I feel pretty confident in saying that both Gina & EJ will know, by the end of the episode, that they can’t come back from this. 

As for your point about #them calling Ricky a rebound &/or Gina a cheater: no matter what happens, they’ll find a way to villainize Ricky & Gina and victimize EJ. No matter how much time there is in between the pw breakup and Rina officially getting together, they’ll still say Ricky is a rebound and Gina “hasn’t had enough time to process her breakup with EJ” and that she’s “being forced to move on too quickly.” It’s exactly what they’re doing with Ricky right now. Despite the fact that Ricky had an entire arc about learning to let go of his past and accept/embrace change that culminated in his breakup with Nini, despite the fact that he himself said he didn’t like the person he was becoming when they were together, despite the fact that he wrote 2 whole songs about how he was over her, they claim he’s still in love with Nini. Even after Ricky’s mind immediately went to Gina when he heard Carlos say “EJ, you’ve stolen the woman Ricky loves.” They still say if Nini was at camp, Ricky wouldn’t even look at Gina. It’s wrong and it’s annoying and it makes them look stupid, but that’s never stopped them before. I don’t expect their reaction to Rina later this season to be any different, honestly. They’re committed to misunderstanding this story.

About that clip from ep 8: It does look like everyone is a part of whatever song they’re singing there (pretty sure you can see a glimpse of the shirt Larry was wearing when they filmed the finale next to Sofia, so Big Red is there too) but I think it says a lot that Ricky & Gina seem to be looking past Corbin & Miss Jenn and directly at each other. Tbh, after all the leaks, it’s kind of nice that we don’t know much about the finale, IMO.

[amazingphilza]

maniac :: cc!tommy x reader

angst (?) , platonic (?) , gender neutral ! ib: conan gray’s maniac

this is satire & note that i write the reader to be a few months younger than tommy (besides that, i think it is fully inclusive !)

synopsis : you put all your hard work towards a useless crush. with no expectation for reciprocated feelings in the first place, it still all ends in a bittersweet slap to reality.

you grew up with minecraft and it was an understatement to say it was part of your childhood

even years later, you still maintained interested in the game

it wasn’t just a simple video game, the community inspired you to do many things

you aspired to be like the creators you watched at a young age like sky, dantdm, cupquake, stampy, and many more

making people happy and entertained was a dream

and when minecraft slowly began trending again in 2019, you started making your own content whenever you felt like it out of fun

you never got much views but it was an enjoyable experience nonetheless

but it wasn’t until the first minecraft monday you decided to push a bit more with your hobbies and worked hard to make it somewhere

however balancing your passions with school wasn’t the easiest

given, you were still only around 15 and your content wasn’t even that good

with not much of a goal or plan with your youtube channel, you fell out of interest eventually

you loved minecraft but you always a rocky relationship with it; getting back into it for a few months then pretending it never really existed for another few

besides the occasional videos you watched in your pass time, you didn’t stay that updated

then lockdown happened

it changed everything and even got you regressing back to old interests

soon enough you were back to minecraft

there was so much to catch up on

hermitcraft season 7 just started, there was minecraft championships, and smp earth and smp live, and so much more to look forward to watching

you were a bit late on both of the smps but your interest peaked specially towards smp earth and it didn’t stop you from watching the past videos

you first gravitated towards a certain youtuber’s videos first since you remember stumbling onto his videos before from your recommended page; wilbur soot

besides recognizing him from his you laugh you lose series and making parody-type of songs, you didn’t know much

however with a few clicks, you had binge watched his smp earth series effortlessly

you found yourself falling down the endless hole, finding more creators to watch through wilbur

one in particular caught your eye in an interesting way

tommyinnit

my god, how can someone be so annoying and pushy in these videos? like shut up already

and to find out he was barely months older than you frustrated you

you just wanted to be better in some way

if someone like him could be popular, why can’t you? yelling at others and causing problems didn’t seem that hard

and so you went back to working hard on your previously failed youtube channel but this time with a goal; be better than tommyinnit

it was a weird aspiration in your head but it worked

he was your age and successful, why need a better motivator?

tommy wasn’t the sole reason why you strive to make content since you truly did want to create videos to entertain people like the youtubers you originally grew up watching

and with the amount of free time you had, you thoroughly analyzed his content; what was the most popular, how he streamed, edited his videos, everything

you just completely studied the algorithm in general

along the way, tommy’s personality grew on you

tommy was undoubtedly a very loud and energetic person but you became fond of his ambitions

you understood why he was popular at such a young age; he was a natural entertainer

your spite towards the boy turned into a hope

a hope to be at par with him someday and even be mutuals

and it was like your dreams were suddenly manifested into existence

you gained a large following in the early months of lockdown and even was recognized to be apart of minecraft championships

it felt like yesterday that you were just watching your favorite youtubers livestream the same competition

and now you were situation in a team to play yourself for the first time instead of being a viewer for once

not to mention, with tommyinnit as a teammate

how did you manage to get so lucky?

under the excitement, you felt beyond never nervous waiting in the empty discord call for your team to join you to practice the mini-games

in the middle of gathering your thoughts together, you heard a sound from discord signaling someone joined the call

“uh, hello?”

you heard the familiar british accent you spent hours listening to from countless streams and videos

“h-hi! i’m y/n, how are you?”

you hoped tommy couldn’t hear the strain in your voice due to fighting your nerves, but you quietly celebrated that you didn’t freeze up altogether

“oh i’m good, thank you. and i’m tommy by the way, this is the first time we’re speaking, yeah?”

“yep! it’s nice to meet you”

“yeah, i’ve seen your name around the timeline a few times, you seem cool”

oh my god what?

“thanks! um i actually really enjoy your content not gonna lie”

“oh wow, good shit!”

and the conversation smoothly went on, bouncing back and forth between you two before your other two teammates joined the call

once everyone was situated, you decided to start streaming since it was your first mcc and you wanted a vod of you practicing to look at later on as a memory

your chat immediately noticed how much you were enjoying yourself, especially after all the short stories of talking about who inspired you in the past

the smile plastered on your face never left

after stream and your other teammates went offline, it was you and tommy left in the call once together again

“it was nice talking to you tommy! and the practice was really fun, i cant wait for the actual competition!”

“yeah definitely, we’ll for sure place high”

“hopefully. it’s my first time and i hope i don’t cost us the dub”

“nah, you think so? i mean rt and plumbella are also our team mates so you know, it’s all for fun in the end”

you knew tommy was implying the teamwork wasn’t going to be the best compared to the other teams but at least in the end you’ve both made a new friend

“yeah you’re right!”

“anyway it’s getting late imma hop off”

“okay tommy, talk to you soon?”

“yep!”

“alright byee”

“bye!”

the moment he left the call, you felt a sense of relief before a small wave of sadness took over

you wanted to continue talking to tommy but you knew you had other responsibilities to tend to

for the rest of the day, you couldn’t stop thinking of the call and mcc practice

the funny jokes, singing random songs, screaming for no reason, everything

it even kept you awake until the early morning

you buried your head in a pillow and screamed into it after realization hit

y/n no

no no no no no no no

you tried to recall anything that remotely related your other teammates which you remembered that didn’t include tommy

even if it was a few hours ago, you couldn’t pin point something specific

no

i must just be forgetful, right?

what the hell did rt and plumbella even say that whole call?

you vividly remembered everything with tommy and it was clear to you why

surely not

with putting a hand on your chest above your heart, you confirmed that you couldn’t lie to yourself based on the rapid speed

you liked tommy for a good while but it hadn’t clicked to you until now

eventually you fell asleep due to exhaustion but that’s to say you didn’t do so without imagining spending more time with tommy

ever since that day, time went by in a flash

your team didn’t do the best in mcc but it had been a while since then to have that as a concern

sadly you and tommy didn’t talk as often as you hoped but that didn’t make you have less feelings for him

on some days you felt bad since you thought you didn’t know enough about him to even be allowed to crush on him

it was a bit unprofessional but you were nearly 16, it’s normal to have these little crushes right?

eventually time came to rescue when tommy asked you if you wanted to accompany him in the dream smp

undoubtedly, you said yes

and for the few months during summer, it was where you two became even closer than before

however, once both of you two had to go back and attend school, it was harder to catch up with each other

even on calls together off stream, the occasional snapchat notification going off irked you in a way you couldn’t explain

only winter break was the small pause on your disappointment

but even then, it was a slow but steady hill of repressed sadness and frustration until early spring of the following year

you had hoped 2021 would be better than last year but after scrolling through twitter one day and seeing stans making rumors about how tommy had a crush on one of his classmates gave you the same pain you felt when school started last fall

you dreaded to look over at tommy’s most recent story time stream vod where all the gossip arose from; it was him stumbling over his words with the mention of a girl during a certain part

jealousy wasn’t the right word to describe the way you felt

you would never go out of your way to make tommy reciprocate the feelings you had for him

and if he liked someone else the way you saw him, you wouldn’t mind

having a crush is ecstatic, and if he has someone like that too, you should be happy

right?

you tried

what finally broke you was seeing a tiktok a few weeks later of tommy in college with eryn and another girl talking

you didn’t know how she looked like or anything but you wanted to sob

good for him

she didn’t even say much in the video and you dont know enough about tommy’s personal life to jump to conclusions like this

you knew you were acting irrational and you couldn’t be upset at tommy for something he couldn’t control

if anything, you never directly showed interest in him

you didn’t want to in the first place

it was a bad idea from the start

you looked back at the past year and all your intentions

what kind of sick fanfiction did you think you were living?

becoming a content creator, hoping to blow up, just to talk to a big youtuber you had a crush on?

oh my god

y/n what is wrong with you?

listen to yourself, y/n

you need to get some help

whether tommy was dating or even just had interest someone was none of your business

you had to move on no matter what it was and be good and supportive friend

it was dreadful to get over a stupid crush like this but after so much work you put in, you gave some sympathy for yourself

in a friend perspective, you were happy with whatever tommy did and was satisfied your friendship together, but you hadn’t realized how much you gambled from the beginning

and just for a crush?

you couldn’t comprehend how far you gone because you fancied someone

it wasn’t like anyone could get famous and become a popular content creator either

and now with you being on the dream smp along with a successful youtube channel at 16? you were grateful something pushed you enough to work this hard

but you’d never forget the fact everything that lead up to this point was a crush on no other than tommyinnit which first spurred from complete spite

“who’s the one better off now?” your thoughts mocked you from the complete irony

sigh

y/n, you maniac

[innsjovide]

any ways no one's gonna make kuruhitha headcanons but me so i might as well write them down

basic stuff kuruk is bi, nyahitha is gay

homophobia isnt isn't much of a big deal in the fire nation (at least during the time nyahtiha's alive) so he's not too bothered about showing it

homophobia is a big deal in the northern water tribe (a legacy that lasted up until unalaq) but kuruk's entire solution to that problem was 'the nwt chiefs cant be mad about things the nwt chiefs don't know' with a bit of 'i'm the avatar i can do what i want' thrown in

they first started dating only months after they met, when kuruk was 23 and nyahitha was 25. by then the others (jianzhu kelsang and hei-ran) had met nyahtiha once and were quite surprised to find out they were dating

hei-ran and nyahitha had a rivalry that was almost always one sided but switched between them on who was angrier with the other depending on what was happening in the fire nation at the time, what kuruk was doing, and the time of day

jianzhu didn't like nyahitha (something something 'he's a bad influence kuruk please don't hang out with him [jealous ex boyfriend]), he and kelsang actually got along fairly well

they did not have a meetcute. they had a meet-ugly. it was a mess. (canon already did a wonderful job of portraying this so i will not have to go in depth)

their first relationship was friends to lovers in the best way-: friends with benefits hookup to actual romance

their first time together was short and brief and beautiful, but tainted in the shadow of reality. they would share kisses in the bhanti tribe library before remembering why they were there. in his later journals (the ones he wrote when reflecting on his life), kuruk wrote that 'remembering it is like staring at a painting of a fire- taking in all of the beauty and none of the destruction."

nyahitha, on a few long nights where he was sure he might loose his lover, considered proposing. he even handmade a betrothal necklace of blue and gold only to keep it in a box as soon as it was finished. he couldn't do that to kuruk

neither of them expected their relationship to last. after a few years of imagined paradise, they drifted apart into their own miseries. they remained friends (it wasn't like they really had anyone else, especially in kuruk's case) and just focused on their own lives, trying to maintain a semblance reality. nyahitha was preparing to take on the role as high sage, and kuruk had his avatar thing going on. there wasn't much time for them to pursue a relationship on top of anything

coincidentally, that was around the time hei-ran got married. kuruk couldn't handle it all going on at once. it was healthier that they just stayed apart, at least for now

after the whole ummi debacle, kuruk vanished for a few years, and everyone simply presumed him dead. by this time nyahitha had moved away from bhanti island and gotten himself a small apartment in the capital, a simple space enough for a couple. it was always too big for him

in his final moments, kuruk showed up at nyahitha's house to die. (i already wrote this in a fic so read it). it was there and then that he confessed his (ironically) undying love for nyahitha. nyahitha could barely utter his reciprocation without crying

[tigerdrop]

Cringe is dead, talk to me about the funny half-life men and their relationship

okay here is my essay. it is titled These Guys Actually Like Each Other, and Gordon Freeman Is Just Kind Of A Dick*

(disclaimer: these are just my 2 cents. dont take me too seriously! im just some guy online who has watched this shit too many times.)

first things first. these guys actually like each other. this is a key aspect of their relationship. benrey, obviously and textually, digs gordon freeman - you dont flirt that heavily with guys you arent into, and so much of what he says and does is geared around making gordon crack up. thats pretty gay.

but the counterpart to this is that gordon freemans pretty fucking gay for benrey, too. you may say, “oh, but word of god says its not requited!” and to you i will say: bull shit. gordon is uniquely obsessed with benrey compared to all the other characters. if gordon didnt like the fucking guy, he wouldnt giggle with him and share in-jokes with him and bring him up every 5 seconds when benreys not around. thats concern, bro. thats worry. thats real shit

but i cant blame people for thinking that gordon freeman genuinely doesnt like benrey. benreys partially responsible for some of the worst things that have happened to him, the Arm Thing among them. and gordons very insistent afterward that he doesnt like benrey. he even goes so far as to try to kill benrey a couple times. to this, i must argue that gordon freeman is just kind of a dick.

lets talk facts here. canon. Lore. from the moment we hop into gordons shoes, we can see that he is a jerk to every npc on his way into black mesa. this is his default: a dude who just runs his mouth and says rude shit. he calls tommy a freak within 5 minutes of meeting him. he infantilizes the guy and barely considers him a real scientist. he doubts that bubby is a real name for like no fuckin reason. in “real life”, this is because its funny, and wayne is trying to make a funny half-life stream. in a textual sense, this is because gordon “hlvrai” freeman is a dick. this is the way he acts, consistently, throughout the series.

(brief aside: this is why the whole “gordon is a nice guy and a great dad” characterization baffles me. the way he actually acts in canon is, in short, bitchy and lacking in self-awareness. and i love that for him, i really do. it makes the moments where he just tries to be a nice guy stand out. but thats the thing: his intermittent moments of decency and kindness are not the whole of his personality! this dude kind of sucks most of the time!)

the way that gordons general asshole attitude extends to benrey is complicated. in fairness, benrey makes it his job to annoy the shit out of gordon as much as possible, and that warrants a negative attitude, but gordons pretty paranoid and ends up blaming benrey for nearly everything that happens to him, regardless of if its warranted. this is a pattern he exhibits both before and after the Arm Thing. its a little bit of a dick move! especially considering that, prior to the whole “betrayal” subplot (which was not exactly planned very far in advance), benrey is no more malicious or annoying than anybody else gordons having to travel with.

(okay, this is kind of a subjective evaluation, but still. my point stands that benrey is not any more of a hindrance to his progress than anybody else in the science crew, and neither is he particularly more violent or murderous. hell, gordon freeman has probably killed more guys than benrey. benrey just tends to get.......special treatment.)

all that said, i am still convinced that gordon really fucking likes benrey. please consider with me the following: it would be remarkably easy for gordon to just ignore him and do what he has to do, but he doesnt. he could stop engaging. he could stop thinking about benrey. he could stop bringing benrey up to the rest of the crew every time benrey leaves to do his own thing for awhile. but he doesnt. and, again, yeah, the extra-textual reason for this is “two guys are doing an improv comedy thing and bouncing off of scorpy is kind of the point”, but within the text it reads to me as gordon not being about to get the dude off his mind.

and this is in addition to all the times we see gordon being genuinely nice and receptive toward benrey! its in the little things: laughing the hardest and longest at benreys jokes. only ever reciprocating that stupid underwater “BBBBB” thing with benrey. trying to catch benrey when he falls, despite his insistence moments earlier that benrey should hop in the wack ass crystal generator and get hypermurdered. fondly remarking that benreys sweet voice sounds beautiful. his sort of flustered responses to most of benreys overt flirting. none of this is the way normal people react to a guy they hate. this is all fuckin gay to me, man.

its this combination of the outward insistence that gordon hates benrey with his inner eagerness to be around him and think about him and engage with him that gives off strong “repression” vibes, to me. for whatever reason - pride, embarrassment, resentment - gordon maintains a front of hating the guy and wanting to kill him for a lot of the series, but it doesnt gel with the way he fucking giggles and plays along half the time that benrey starts fucking with him. its a game, and that game is one of the only ways gordon knows to manifest affection for him.

(remember “oh my god, hes got a knife!”? that was the gayest shit i ever seen in my life. tittering like a schoolgirl while benrey chases him around like “im gonna get you haha”. insanity.)

the cool thing about repression is that you can have it manifest in a lot of ways! and this is where things like “headcanons” and “my own personal affection for repressed bisexual men” come in. a lot of how i characterize their relationship is an extrapolation of a lot of things like gordons canonical insecurity issues/anxiety, gordons whole anti-bootboy thing screaming “internet wokeboy who means well but probably has a lot of repressed baggage” to me, etc.

how do you get massive amounts of sexual repression out of what you see in canon, you might ask? well. if wayne would stop having gordon talking about being jerked off by the suit, or talking about chugging a 40-gal drum of potion and having to hold his piss, or worrying about being eaten by benrey the moment he sees benrey at setscale 10, maybe i would have a higher opinion of gordon “hlvrai” freeman and whatever latent psychosexual issues hes got going on. but here we are

i havent even touched yet upon how benrey feels about gordon. this one is helpfully made a little more plain by the fact that benrey very much wants to suck his dick in canon. (i dont even have to go into details. we all know.) but IMO the best part about this ship isnt just that they dig each other, but how. benrey gets overtly flirtatious in the second half of the series, but IMO his preferred method of flirting is just fucking with gordon: chasing him with knives, shoving him around in a bathroom, trying to get scans of his feet. but all in like a slapstick, giggly, fun-and-games sense, you know? at least when it works.

a lot of the time, though, it doesnt work out that way. he clearly just likes doing it whether or not gordon responds positively. which is, you know, Weird. not very nice. but also in line with the way everybody else treats gordon freeman. gordons kind of the universes chew toy in any given universe, and the same holds true here. hes kind of helpless......subjected to 4 demons attempting to make his life as difficult as possible. in a way its cathartic.

sorry. i got sidetracked. anyway, benrey very much likes to mess with him and unnerve him and demean him and i will be perfectly frank with you: that is hot. i have problems and illnesses and one of them is that i am a masochist who goes crazy for that kind of thing. calling gordon a “dirty lil boy” and telling him to “look at the mess [he] made” is some straight up kink scene shit.

i like to imagine that a lot of this behavior isnt caused just by the guy who played him wanting to be funny and antagonistic, but by benrey as a character not really understanding what constitutes “pushing a joke too far”. hes not human, and whatever he is doesnt have a very normative way of understanding the world around him, full of people who actually get hurt for real and die for real. benrey expresses what seems to be genuine surprise and distress after the Arm Thing, as if he didnt know that his actions would have serious consequences. and it doesnt seem to fully sink in afterward, either.

it reads a lot to me like hes used to video game rules and treating people around him like NPCs. if they get hurt, its no big deal, because its not real. he likes jamming random buttons on gordons interface and seeing what comes out. its probably a lot of fun for him, the same way that seeing a streamer or a youtuber suffer for our amusement is fun. its like, you know, in my opinion, gordons very cute when hes frazzled. hes also cute when hes laughing. pushing gordons buttons has a 50/50 chance of either of these things. and this is how he ultimately flirts with gordon: by pulling his pigtails.

but at the same time, benrey does legit care about gordon and knows some boundaries. benreys the one most often shooting at enemies to protect gordon, and he spent most of the last act trying to convince gordon to turn around and not fight him because they were friends (best friends, to be specific). he just lacks a lot of the emotional intelligence it would take to express the feeling of “he digs gordon and likes seeing his face get all red and sweaty regardless of the cause”. and gordon lacks the emotional intelligence it would take to express the fact that he doesnt know if he likes or hates benrey and hes scared as hell that its the former

because, lets be real. unironic benrey-liking is a sign of problems disorder. just look at all these words ive written about it.

can you imagine? this bizarrely powerful, non-human entity that can shrug off gunfire and grow to the size of a building has decided that youre his new plaything. benreys the bored guy booting up skyrim and fucking around in the console, and gordons the hapless favorite follower that hes taken a liking to. its a really fun dynamic IMO

after all this, its safe to say my title is a little misleading. the asterisk stands for * and So Is Benrey, Actually. they are both kind of awful dudes who thrive off of teasing each other and they deserve each other. and i am crazy about it. thank u for coming to my TED talk

[minkufu]

Curious to know what your favorite romance tropes are? And some that your not a fan of (for example, I dont like one-sided pining/crush trope)

Hmmm might be a little hard for me to give a brief answer because I don't actually know very many trope names when it comes to romance stuff, or honestly what all qualifies as a trope. I tend to not search by tropes, I only search for content involving characters I like, and if the results are not great then I just don't bother with them.

But I'll talk about my preferences sure c:

I can name some things I don't like first that parts easy. One-sided stuff I don't care for either, I wouldn't even call it romance if its not reciprocated. That and pining can be cute if there's actual payoff, but if its just angst then no.

Getting the obvious ones out of the way I don't touch any romance stuff involving themes of Incest, adult/minor, rape, stalking, shit like that all out the window. That A/B/O stuff? Nah, HATE that. And while not romance exclusive I also don't touch genderbend content of any kind because it makes me super uncomfortable.

I don't mind age-gaps as long as both characters are adults and the gap is reasonable. My preferences barely go above maybe 5 years difference anyway.

Uh....tropes that involve cheating, Possessive behavior, or jealously, like that "gets mad when their s/o talks to literally anyone" kind. That is the most annoying shit.

I've never been a romantic person. I'm very aro and get second-hand embarrassment easily when it comes to overly mushy stuff. Like, outright will close out a fic and never look back if it makes me cringe too hard. (this isn't a jab at peoples writing this is me having a very irrational response to something harmless and I really can’t help it.) The impact of a dramatic phrase like "I love you" after a long build up in fics is lost on me. Especially since I cant imagine most of the characters I like actually saying that. I prefer action over words, more casual or subtle affection.

And I guess if it's written stuff it's not really a trope thing but I don't do first or second person pov writing. Again not a romance person myself, haaaaaate being put in the position of one of the characters, super uncomfortable.

When it comes to things I like....

Enemies to lovers is the top of my list as far as tropes go, tho typically it isn't like Protaganist/Antagonist its Bastard #1/Bastard #2.

I usually only like villain characters so most of the relationship dynamics I like tend to have some rough edges. Ships that I have been into have been ones like Sasori/Deidara, Dabi/Shigaraki, and Belphegor/Fran. So I guess the vibe is kinda...mutual bickering? Rude and unpleasant characters that always have a (mostly harmless) back and forth with each other when they interact is very entertaining to me. The keyword is MUTUAL tho, both characters have to be actively annoying each other and on even grounds. That's why a ship like Bel/Fran is appealing to me yet I cant vibe with one like Bakugo/Deku. I don't like one-sided hostility, it just loses the fun.

I’m not big on angst for the sake of angst but I do love hurt/comfort stuff. It’s very cathartic for a character you like to suffer terribly but still be able to make it to a point of healing. Most of my favs are unhinged and broken beyond repair so I want to put emphasis on ‘healing’ not ‘fixing’. I don’t like romance being used as a cheap way to ‘fix’ mentally ill characters.

Overall I don't really have a set in stone preference in tropes as long as it doesn't involve the ones I dislike. Most content I consume and make is pre-established relationship stuff anyway. I just go into content with a mindset of "Does it include my favs?" and "By my standards is it good?" if both are checked then that's all I need.

Spoiler tho: I don’t really dive into fanfics very often anyway because my pool of interests is too small and the things I like usually attract either the absolute worst shit or nothing at all. I've had to live off my own content for quite awhile now lol

I don’t know if this actually answered your question or not. If you want to know my thoughts about SPECIFIC tropes I could answer those easier. I get a little too wordy when questions are a bit vague. I don’t mind them I just feel bad when every response I give is a word dump ; ;

[ahgaseda]

the NSFW alphabet | Mark (Got7)

{ this post contains graphic descriptions and explicit content : please read at your own risk! }

A = aroused (how he acts when he's in the mood)

like a horny little fuck boy. but he also smooth as fuck. says the dirtiest shit. cant keep his hands off of you. will bring your hand to the bulge in his jeans like baby look what you made me do. goes right for the neck kisses. he knows thats the weak spot and hes not afraid to go for it straight away. pouts or sulks when you play hard to get but secretly loves it.

B = body (favorite body part of their partner)

he loves your skin. he loves how soft it is. he loves how warm it feels against him. he lives to trace his fingertips in mindless patterns up and down your body. from your head to your toes. he loves to nip and bite. he loves to lick and suck. if he can mark every inch of you he will. oh god and the warm sweaty feel of your skin when youre on top of him after a round of sex is his favorite.

C = climax (what he's like when he orgasms)

face scrunching up. teeth buried in his bottom lip. during sex and climax its like the only word he knows is fuck. if its a really intense nut he may just repeat that word until he finally comes back down. hes not afraid to make noise but its usually soft moans or heavy panting. he also the type to like staying inside after he finishes. youre very used to him getting comfortable on top of you.

D = dominance (is he dominant, submissive or a switch)

a very very good switch. he is the master of both sides. can be a rough and intimidating dom that puts you in your place and fucks you from behind into the mattress. or he can be the cutest brattiest little sub that lets you cuff him to the bed and do whatever you want with him until further notice. he doesnt really have a preference since either are good fun for him and he likes making you both happy.

E = experience (how experienced is he in the bedroom)

he definitely been at this a while and hes not opposed to one night stands. when hes in a relationship he gives his all to his partner but a quick fuck with a stranger not so much. because hes a Virgo he prefers sex with love but when hes single he will make do with what he has. but when hes in that meaningful relationship with someone he loves he will make it his mission to become an expert on pleasing them in bed.

F = fortitude (does he have a lot of stamina and energy)

yes and no. lots and lots of stamina. he can make a round last as long as needed. he can hold back his orgasm until youve finished even if he has to pull out and calm himself down when hes too close. as for multiple rounds well that might be reserved for special occasions. or if hes been away and the two of you are reunited after weeks apart. after sex he typically wants to settle down and snuggle and probably sleep. that being said hes also the type to do a lot before actual sex. like dry grinding or manual or oral. there can still be multiple orgasms before any intercourse which is like the grand finale of a long show lol

G = gratification (what really gets him off)

getting exactly what he wants. it sounds selfish but its not. if he got you all worked up and now hes got you right where he wants you and youre moaning his name and its all playing out exactly how he wanted and imagined then hes gonna blow really hard. even when hes subbing and youre doing what you want he still wanted to sub in the first place so it still taps into what gets him off. he can be a greedy little lover boy but its never at your expense. he will never leave you unsatisfied.

H = habitat (preferred place to get busy)

at home usually. or at least somewhere that a couch or bed is nearby. he will want to call it a day afterward. but he also likes quickies so this isn’t a strict rule of his. he definitely down for car sex if the mood is right. in fact it probably happens a lot more than he would care to admit. he also is a big fan of pool sex for obvious reasons. tbh if the two of you are getting it on he really doesnt give a fuck where it is in the heat of the moment.

I = intimacy (how emotional is he when it comes to sex)

it depends on the mood. if its a rough round and hes just chasing your highs then probably not at all. if youre celebrating an anniversary or something then there will be a lot of intimacy and tenderness. also there is a lot of makeup sex in this relationship and he will get very emotional about it. hes not the type to pick a fight just for the sake of makeup sex. the fights will be real and serious and so will be the making up making love afterward.

J = joke (how much does he play around)

during roleplay and foreplay there will be plenty of joking around. also during a quickie yes he can be a little shit and make you giggle. totally the type to get horny and poke you in the back with his dick like hey you asleep? if humor works on you then he will use it. he can be really funny when subbing so be prepared to laugh. he doesnt take the bedroom too seriously unless the mood calls for it. hes a pretty easygoing guy and that carries over to his sexy time too.

K = kink (toys or kinks)

loves toys. will gladly tie you up and slip some vibrating panties on you and then play some video games with you having orgasms over and over behind him. but he also the type to get lots of different toys and then never use them lol he tends to stick with the usual stuff. as far as his kinks he loves when you dom the absolute fuck out of him. pin him down and fuck the soul out of him. he wont readily admit it but he loves when you own him in every way possible. also marking haha no pun intended. he loves to give and receive bruises and hickeys.

L = lust (how often does he want it)

the sex drive is between average and high. sometimes leaning toward the high side when hes in a committed relationship. you turn him on almost constantly hes just so damn into you. yall fuck each other on the regular. he really likes showing how much he needs you through sex. there will be times though when hes exhausted from work and just does not have the energy for a fuck. other times work can stress him tf out so bad that he just needs to take some pleasure out of your body. he will always give you a heads up text on the way home when thats the case though.

M = masturbation (mutual and solo)

its not a big deal to him. he dont care if you get yourself off though he does like hearing all about it. you can call him up for some phone sex and he will do the bare minimum. but that deep voice is enough. he will give you a mmhm and good girl and yep a couple of those do the trick. he gets a little freaky when yall are apart though. he wants you to send him nudes and show him your boobs when you facetime and all that stuff. when hes a horny little fucker and youre not around he really is shameless.

N = never (what he will not do)

share. you are his and every other guy can fuck right off. if you suggest a threesome you can forget it. if one of the members has his phone and accidentally sees one of your nudes he may come out swinging. he loves you way too much and is too emotionally attached to you. he cant ever see another guy give you pleasure or even let them see your beautiful body that belongs to him. he doesnt care if youve been with other guys or been in love before you are his now and he is yours and thats that.

O = oral (giving and receiving)

oh god giving him head is the best because the sounds he makes. he isnt loud but hes not afraid to make noise when he feels good and your hot wet mouth is the good shit. he just loves tangling his hand in your ponytail and thrusting into your throat. you love feeling his legs tremble when you swallow him. and hes not above reciprocating. the kid will suck you dry. you wanna be a little brat alright this will change that attitude real quick. awe youre stressed out lemme make you sing. most of the time he eats you out before sex because he catches a glimpse of how wet you are and he just has to have a taste.

P = position (favorite position)

it may sound boring but missionary. he loves having you beneath him. the view is fantastic. he can watch himself sinking in and out of you. he loves the way your boobs bounce with his thrusts and he has perfect access to grab one or both. he can either drape himself over you chest to chest or he can sit up and roam his hands all over your thighs and hips. either way theres definitely nothing wrong with good ole missionary. he also loves to get ahold of your neck and pin you to the mattress. sometimes he will squeeze and sometimes not. its pretty good either way. he is very possessive of your body in the heat of the moment.

Q = quickie (what is a quickie like with him)

hot and messy and wild and rough and crazy and the best ever. he really gives it to you hard and fast in a quickie. he loves the way your body shudders from enduring his thrusts. the way you cant stop chanting his name. these occur in the car or in the shower most of the time. you need him right this minute and damn it hes gotta have you right now. it still shocks you how merciless he gets and youre suddenly aware just how much he holds back. and hell hath no fury like mark if he is interrupted. be prepared for him to fling something at whoever disturbs you both.

R = roleplay (favorite routines and tropes)

they change on a whim. it depends on what yall are in the mood for. though he does like to get his way more often than not and he knows how to push your buttons to get the desired outcome. a common trope is the playing hard to get. he likes when you make him work for it. he lives to tease and be teased. he really enjoys everything that leads up to the sex. hes actually a pretty good actor when it comes to dom or sub tropes. when hes in dom mode your body obeys his every command without a second thought.

S = seduction (how he gets you in the mood)

he knows how to finesse his way to some sexy time and he’s damn good at what he does. a little bit of that low deep voice does the trick. its unholy. the boy knows exactly how and when to get you worked up. he gets very vocal about what he wants. come on baby lets go play dont you wanna come for me i love watching you come and listening to you scream my name for all the neighbors.

T = teasing (what is the best way to arouse him)

flirt with him. get naughty. touch him lightly but intentionally. keep at it and get him all riled up. the most sure fire way to get him is to put on some lingerie and give him a lapdance or something like that. if hes playing games and pretending to ignore you put on something skimpy or racy and sit right in his lap. also tap into his mark kink. kiss his neck and start sucking. he will melt into a puddle in your hands.

U = underwear (lingerie and costumes)

will buy you lingerie he likes without hesitation. baby please wear this for me. he dies for how good you look in lingerie. and holy crap does he have dozens upon dozens of pictures of you in his phone in these outfits. lingerie is probably one of his biggest weaknesses. meanwhile he always prefers to be naked. if company aint coming around you can guarantee he will walk around the house naked as the day he was born. the kid is hot blooded and hates wearing clothes.

V = verdict (what do you think of your sex life with him)

sometimes you catch yourself blushing as you think about the sex with mark. its good. so so good. the two of you feed off of and into each other. after a while youre in sync with each others desires and needs. you can tell when he needs stress relief. he can tell when you need reassurance. its like he can read your body fluently. he gives you some of the most intense orgasms and holds you afterward like youre all hes ever wanted in his life.

W = words (how vocal is he and dirty talk)

his dirty talk is next level and im not exaggerating. he a whole fuckboy and he knows how lethal his deep voice is. expect him to make it even lower and to say the nastiest things. remember hes shameless and not much is off limits except things he knows you dont like. he keeps it going during sex too. loves whispering in your ear when he takes you. when hes subbing for you he makes sure to be extra vocal and does not hold back. as a dom he goads you and gets even more explicit.

X = x-rated (how does he feel about porn or sextapes)

oh yall have definitely made a few videos. hes gotta have stuff to watch at night when hes on tour and youre on the other side of the globe. he prefers photos of you but he does have a couple vids that are his absolute favorite. he watches porn occasionally and he doesnt care if you do too. yall have watched porn together no big deal. yall pretty much get each other horny enough you dont need any porn for that lol

Y = yawn (what is he like after sex)

sleepy and cuddly. he turns into such a snuggle bug. it taps into that need he has for your skin against his. you become his personal pillow after sex. he smushes his face against your breasts. he wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you flush against him. just cuddle the shit out of him. he needs and wants it so badly. as you both come down he really covers you in kisses. will lick every sweat droplet off of your skin. damn youre so beautiful and feel so amazing he just cant stand it.

Z = zodiac (what his sign says about him in bed)

oh the Virgo. greedy but needy. they want their wishes fulfilled but they also want to be good to you. its a steady balance. sometimes he gets a little too self centered and will pull your strings to get his way but he loves you so much that he will always make it up to you. he wants this relationship to last forever and ever and is therefore willing to bend over backwards to make you happy but he expects the same in return. this boy will never stick around for a one-sided love. match his effort or hes gone.

{ copyright 2018-2020 © ahgaseda // masterlist }

[frankensteindotpdf]

TGWDLM and Love

Okayyyy so I was supposed to write an assignment on how a romantic movie expresses love and I asked my prof if I could write about tgwdlm instead and he said yes?? Bless him so anyway I made wayyyy too many notes for a 500-600 word assignment lmao so I felt like i might as well post em here… this is a compilation of every time Paul and Emma interact pretty much lol its hella long (im not kidding it’s like 7 pages rip) so under the cut :) 

finally done, @isaidsinggoddammit!!

Sidenote: There’s very mixed capitalization as my brain flipped between tumblr mode and assignment mode so excuse that lmao)

Coffee Shop Part 1

Tips well to impress her

Listens to her vent-she already feels comfy enough to rant to him or, alternatively, she’s just a really open person (but shhh she has to trust him to some extent)

Insults others he doesnt know too well but he knows she doesnt like, again to impress

Tries to act indifferent towards everyone else (and tough)

Almost says smth romantic (“Some things are worth it”) but backtracks when she looks confused

In this scene, he tries to act cool but is clearly super nervous. One thing I really like is how he never acts too cool for her, like a lotta people do. He’s genuinely interested in what she has to say and never pretends otherwise, and also never pretends to be interested to get her to like him. I just really love how good he is at listening

Cup of Roasted Coffee/ Cup of Poisoned Coffee

When he panics he goes to Beanies to get a coffee and relax (wake up)

He turns to Emma (subconsciously?) for comfort

Freaks out when she sings (for good reason)

Emma remembers him (“Paul, right?... You’re the guy who doesn’t like musicals”)

Doesnt seem to notice how weird he’s acting

Continues to vent

He pulls her away from the counter to explain what’s going on

Paul finds it important to tell her-she’s the first person he admits it to

Him venting to her like she does to him? Trying to connect in a similar way? Im reading too much into that

He holds her there while explaining, she has to find an excuse to pull away

She thinks he’s crazy-keeps glancing at him during the song (he looks terrified)

Seems concerned for him

He switches between nervously staring at her and anxiously staring into the void (mood)

She turns to him at the “end” of the song and comes near him in the middle

She runs to paul when they start singing

They grab each other

He tells her to run, pushes her forward and shifts so he’s between her and the aliens

This scene is reeeally creepy from Emma’s perspective like oh my gosh can you imagine a man yelling at you (not at you but at your singing but still) and pulling you away from your work and then holding you still when you try to leave??? Anxiety to the max poor babe but also i get paul’s side can you imagine seeing the whole apocalypse beginning and it’s so weird no one would believe you if you tried to tell them? Poor bb. There’s also a lot of things that come up later: the ways he holds emma in this scene is the same way he holds her later one, later it’s to comfort her but  this time it’s more to calm himself… he also pulls her to a better spot like he does later on

Trash Bin Scene

He leads her away-he knows the neighbourhood better

Tries learning about her (you like film?) (cmon paul bad timing)

(at trash) hold hands, she grabs his shirt while panicking

He holds her firmly by the shoulders to calm & comfort (parallels Cuppa)

Emma instinctively grabs Paul’s arm when Bill pops out

“Emma stays with us”-stands up to ted even though he looks pretty scared of him

(sidenote-what did ted do to Paul? The poor boy looks straight up terrified the first time he shows up)

Emma looks real confused about “latte hottay” but she never brings it up

“Paul!” when he runs to Charlotte-gestures at Paul near end of song

Paul tends to comfort people by grabbing their shoulders/putting a hand on their back (Emma of course but also Charlotte and Bill- has a looser hold on them than Emma)

Here they’re already starting to react to danger by reaching for each other and it’s v cute also bless paul i just really like how he calms people down he’s so good and pure

Hidgens’ Fortress Part 1

They trust Emma enough to go to Hidgens’ place (not like they had many other options)

Men™ typically trusted for “strong” stuff-Ted and Bill cuff Sam

Paul stands up for Bill-such a protective boy (could also be doing it to look cool for Emma but tbh it doesnt seem like it ill bring this up again later)

Paul listens intently to Emma’s venting

He smiles, nods, asks qs and repeats phrases she says

Its obvious he genuinely cares

Emma’s v comfy with him-they have an easy chem when Paul relaxes

Emma progressively shares deeper shit as she becomes more comfortable around paul

Paul makes jokes to lighten the mood, but not in a disrespectful way

Seems more nervous when bringing topics to himself

She listens just as politely as he does

“Whoa thats like your origin story...so I guess I’m the supervillain” “I dont think of you like that at all, Emma.” Cutest, Softest smiles on both of them my heART “Listen, Paul”-she was about to confess her love dammit charlotte

I’ve said it before and i’ll say it again: Paul is such a good listener. I dont know why i find this so cute but their convos are so perfect like he asks qs so he knows exactly what she’s talking about (“what’s a coatimundi?” “Oh, did she smoke a lot of pot?”) and he repeats back phrases she says which shows that he’s genuinely listening like...so many characters (and people irl, lets be real)  just pretend to listen to get what they want but he cares so much about what she has to say i just cant stop talking about it it’s so cute also how he seems so comfortable when she’s talking and then starts showing sign of nervousness again when the convo turns to him? Pure mood

Join Us And Die

Both jump behind chair when Charlotte and Sam show up

Emma clings to Paul’s arm + hides behind him

She steps out “charlotte?”

Paul pulls her back when sam approaches

Paul puts himself between Emma and Sam

Emma puts her back to Paul and grabs his arm

Paul pulls Emma away by her arm (“What’s wrong with her shirt?”)

Emma’s caught up in the gore, Paul is relatively level-headed

He keeps an arm around her

Emma steps away from paul to yell at Sam +Char (“He has a daughter!!”)

Instinctively reaches for Paul  when Char gets shot (and later looks back at paul a couple of times when shook at prof hidgens)

Alright they do this whenever aliens show up so imma just talk about it here: this part was in my assignment so 1 lets hope it doesnt get flagged as plagiarism and 2 i could rant about this all day.

Basically Paul fulfills the traditional masculine role as protector and leader. Whenever smth dangerous shows up, he has one hand on her (on her shoulder, arm or the small of her back)-both reassuring them that someone else is there and making it easier for him to move her-which he does lots. He pulls her behind him or pushes her forward (away from the infected), leading her to where he thinks is safest. He always puts himself between her and the aliens, leading her to a safer spot. Emma tends to get distracted (emotional female stereotype) and paul is the one to move them both to safety (strong stoic man stereotype). To be fair, he is a lot bigger than emma and would probs have an easier time in a fight (tho i dont doubt that emma would be v i c i o u s) Emma tend to cling to Paul’s arm when she gets scared (which is really cute)

Hidgens’ Fortress Part 2

Emma adds to Paul’s plan- taps on his arm to move him

Paul steps back in front of her- i always found this weird, he totally blocks her from the conversation like why

She steps back out to roast ted

Paul looks at Emma when Ted @s him-now here’s where I could see him standing up for Bill to impress emma again. It’s not the only reason, but i do think it’s a contributing factor (and probably was before too cuz lets be real, when your crush is around you gotta act tough) of course he wants to protect his bff but he’s super anxious around ted so wanting to look brave for emma gives him that extra push he needs. Alternatively, he looks at Emma as a way to calm himself down before saying smth scary (which is adorable)

Emma wants to help but is called back to help with the lab

This is another thing i find super interesting-wouldnt more people around make it more likely he gets stopped? Did he want an audience (more than just ted) cuz i guess that’s understandable but in that case why didnt he wait a little longer to see if they came back? Idk it just seemed weird to me (also the whole “nooo female cant go out where it’s dangerous” even though it’s more like “oh emma’s the only one i know here can she not leave” wait actually that’s probably it lmao he just didnt wanna be alone with ted ok relatable nvm )

“Hey, Paul?” grabs arms (paul reciprocates) she’s real nervous for him leaving-relates to how much he hates musicals

I find that really cute cuz it’s showing once again how much they listen to each other and idk i just really like that about them

Grabs his face and pulls him close-he pulls her hands down to look her in the eyes to tell her he’ll stay safe

He doesn’t kiss her-super interesting! She pulled him close like that (which coulda been a sign to kiss her) and this was a pretty emotionally charged moment which a kiss would have fit - Paul hates kisses hc?

Not Your Seed + General (technically, just a little note)

Paul holds Emma tight with 2 hands, but keeps 1 hand free when holding others (ie bill and charlotte)

Only tells General about Emma, not Ted or the Prof (tho to be fair, he hates ted and barely knows the prof but it’s interesting how he doesnt even say he has “friends”, just Emma)

America Is Great Again

Paul saves emma and Ted

“Should I take this chair?” asks paul to lead

Emma holds Paul’s arm when they run

She tries to pry “Greg”’s arm off Paul + tries to get Ted to help-not strong enough

“Thank you Emma”-she freed him/killed Greg? I wanna know what happened (i tweeted @ jon, lauren and nick asking, so far jon just liked it we’ll see if anyone answers)

Runs behind Emma + pushes her forward “run, emma, run!”-Emma grabs for Paul, he steps in front

He pulls her through Robert+Corey and turns her around

She pulls him away from the General-paul usually does the pulling to safety

Paul doesnt notice when Emma is grabbed by Ted (lmao i get that he’s a little busy but it still seems odd)

She struggles with 1, 3 are on Paul (not a sexist thing, she’s tiny and also Paul is the main character and the aliens know it plus they gotta do that cool lift thing)

Emma grabs gun + shoots the General, grabbing Paul-”Paul! The helicopter! Cmon!”

Usually Paul does that stuff, but emma takes the protective role more in the 2nd half of this song

Basically we have the classic paul protecting emma stuff but now also the emma protecting paul which is good and fresh and i love...the way she tries to protect paul is different than how he protects her. She yells more frantically, and also is more of trying to lead him whereas paul yells to get her attention and physically moves her himself

Helicopter Scene

He helps her onto the heli, back to his usual protective self

Keeps one hand on the back of her seat the whole time (aww he’s stabilizing himself physically cuz the copter’s shaky and emotionally cuz he’s closer to Emma)

“Emma, seatbelts” he reaches up to help her into her seat-he kicks the gun to save them

“Emma? Emma?” immediate response is to call out to her-that boy was literally awake less than a second before worrying about her i love him

Runs to her when he sees her

“”This is what seatbelts are for” in this scene he seems really like...over it? Idk if anyone else got that he just seemed really intent on destroying the meteor instead of anything to do with Emma… before saving their lives was priority but also spending time with her, here he nods like he’s trying to rush her and does not seem excited to kiss her (again, Paul hates kisses? ok that was a rant that got ahead of my notes but just-) this scene is weird to me like maybe he’s trying to rush to stop the meteor so they can be together after and like not die idk anymore

He reaches out for her, jumping away when she cries out in pain

The rest of the scene he has his hands hovering a few inches away from her, very protective but also very scared of hurting her

Emma comes up with the solution, Paul has to do it cuz she’s hurt (weak gal, strong man, injured person knows secret to survival and tells strong boi how to do it tropes)

“Hey, Paul?” slides over to him-he gingerly supports her back (scared to hurt her)

He shushes her to calm her while talking cuz she’s in pain- ok, maybe its less about “gotta get out of here” and more about “she’s hurt really badly and needs help asap, i gotta destroy that meteor so i can get help” ok that makes sense im dumb lmao

Emma is first to ask out + kiss me? + pulling him in by his tie- breakin stereotype of man making first move

Then the little “..okay..” after she asks him to kiss her...maybe he wanted it to be romantic aww he wanted them to have a real cute first kiss and this wasnt what he had planned (or he just doesn’t like kisses cuz like he looks so uncomfortable there’s gotta be a reason”

He doesnt wanna kiss her cuz of the blood (weak) and is happy to leave-this part is what throws me off most he just like runs on outta there with no hesitation but he loves her?? I dont get it

Dont really need a rant here cuz i did a lotta ranting in the points… excuse my little journey of discovery there lmao I was just confused at first cuz at face value he seems really different, super hell bent on getting out of there whereas in every other scene he pays way more attention to Emma. I suppose it’s because he knows he has to destroy the meteor asap so he can get her help, i just didnt catch that. His motivations seemed very different in this scene to me and i couldnt figure out why

Theory time

Now here’s the fun part-i saw a theory somewhere that Paul can only get infected because he has a true goal now, he really wants to end up with Emma. In What Do You Want, Paul? Mr. Davidson is trying to find out what he wants to use it as motivation to make him more susceptible to the virus/make him sing a song, but since Paul doesn’t want anything clearcut he cant be infected. Now, since Paul wants Emma, he has a goal and smth to fight for but also smth to sing about. The very reason he’ trying to save the world becomes the reason he fails.

HOWEVER. His goal could just as easily be saving the world cuz he literally doesnt bring emma up once? Like i get he’s preoccupied but idk if he’s about to die i feel like he’d at least mention her (unless he’s hoping they think she died and wont go looking for her if he fails) idk their romance is adorable until the scene before this and then these 2 scenes make it feel really off for me

Okay now onto the most fun scene >:) -since there’s so many details i separated them into actions and lyrics

Inevitable (Actions)

“Are you sure there weren’t any other survivors?” :(

“PEIP would like to see it become smth more” because she’s the love interest and they’re supposed to end up together ahhh it’s the alien talking

She grabs his arms to look him in the eyes then pulls him in for a hug (the cutest)

She’s v reluctant to believe it at first “Paul?” She’s still smiling for the first line

Slowly she starts to let herself see what’s happening “Paul, you’re scaring me”

She knows he’s infected but she’s trying her hardest to believe he could be playing a cruel joke

He has power over her physically- holds her where he wants her while they’re dancing

He dances with her at first, gestures to her to move closer, talks to her, moves towards dancing at her instead of with

He blocks her exit, pulls her to where he wants her and ignores her for part

This is where you can really tell he’s different. Paul would never ignore Emma, and he straight up ignores her to sing and dance

He points at her and then goes back to ignoring her

Emma starts sobbing and really trying to run

Emma is dragged to the center of the stage sobbing because she cant do anything

He drops character in credits, waving and smiling to the audience; she doesnt

He’s got physical power over her (strength) but also cuz he’s backed by all the aliens who can move her where she’s supposed to go

Inevitable (lyrics)

“Emma, I’m sorry, you lost.” couldnt kill aliens

“Lost your way” didnt want to join them

“I made it” ‘This is the life that I chose” “I’m still the man you trust” “what if the only choice is you had to sing to survive” “Put words to the lyrics and you’re playing the game now” -maybe he’s faking it (i also heard someone mention the fact that he sings in his natural voice and not the higher one he used for the Alien Brain in Let It Out which is a good catch) (also someone else brought up the fact that he was mostly singing reprises, maybe because he couldnt think up his own tune/entirely original lyrics?)

“It’s inevitable for us”-because she’s the love interest, it’s was inevitable that they’d wind up together

“Show me those jazz hands” He’s trying to convince her to join of her own free will

“or i might be inclined to plant my seed” but is willing to do it by force if she wont

This song is super interesting because of the parallels-he holds her the same way he did in previous songs, pulls and pushes her across the stage like before, but this time it’s turned against her. What was once meant as protection is now being used to force her to join the dance I talked more about this in my assignment but i dont wanna get too close to what i wrote before because it could get flagged for plagiarism and i do not want that so imma reblog this post alter and add my assignment for more info (if yall want anyway)

The lyrics could hint at Paul faking it, and it definitely appears that way (especially with the face he makes at “Im still the man you trust) but i think the part in the middle where he just kind of breaks off to dance really kills that idea for me. Even if he was trying to trick the aliens, he could have kept closer to Emma like he does every other time they’re in danger, and the fact that he straight up ignores her and lets the aliens move her around like that is just not in his character so apologies but i believe our man is gone

Also, regarding the theories that Emma is infected because of the beginning; I could see that happening, but in that case, why didnt she break character at the end? I have absolutely zero idea how/if the intro song fits into the story but idk i feel like she should’ve acted like the rest of them if she really was infected but on the other hand i really like the heartbreaking theory that they’re all infected and Paul just has to keep reliving the story of how he failed again and again for all eternity like ouch? But also? Its great in a painful way??

Um yeah so that’s that for my ranting (my 3 pages of notes became 7 pages with the rants included so sorry about that i just had so much to sayyyy

TLDR: paul and emma are cute thanks for coming to my ted talk

[spellcastersjudgement]

Hornetshipping + 43?

yass now that i actually have a moment to sit down and write this we will most def be doing some kissing B) also this was much much longer than i intended but its okay i cant help myself with these two

—

#43: a kiss out of greed

Bastion had never been much of a movie person. It seemed as if every time he sat down for some mindless entertainment he would find himself picking apart every plot hole, character, the cinematography, dialogue–essentially everything. Rather than work himself up into a frenzy, Bastion had abstained from movies for as long as he could remember, but when Chazz had thrown down his textbook, angrily shut his laptop, and demanded they take a break he couldn’t say no.

It was finals week at Duel Academy, and Chazz had shown up at the Ra yellow dorm with a scowl and a latte, saying that he couldn’t study at the Slifer dorm. Bastion, who could imagine that studying with Jaden Yuki had to be more of him trying to find ways to distract others than actual studying, had opened the door for him, heart beating out of his chest as the object of his affections sat down on his bed.

Bastion had no idea Chazz even considered him as more than the person responsible for his demotion from Obelisk, the catalyst for his leaving Duel Academy halfway through the semester. They had never been alone together before, the two of them usually accompanied by Jaden or Syrus or Alexis, and Bastion had always assumed the black-haired boy had held a bit of resentment toward him. That, of course, didn’t stop him from falling head over heels for the boy–Bastion loved his sarcasm, the smirk he got on his face when he was about to obliterate his opponent in a duel, the way his eyes would soften the slightest bit when Pharaoh would rub his head against his legs, even the way he’d drench his fried shrimp in soy sauce to the point it was no longer recognizable. It was all enough to bring a blush to his face, a surge of affection for the other man that he suppressed only because he was certain Chazz didn’t return the sentiment.

“What the hell are you doing?”

Bastion stopped halfway through sitting down in his desk chair, stuck in an awkward position as he looked over toward Chazz. “Um, I’m sitting?”

“Just sit next to me. You can’t see the television from there,” Chazz ordered, eyes flickering from Bastion back to the TV, scrolling through Netflix. “This is your bed, anyway,”

“Oh, yes of course,” Bastion said, trying not to skip over to the bed. Sitting down next to Chazz, he tried to act normal, not like the butterflies in his stomach were threatening to come out of his mouth.

“Do you care what we watch?”

“Oh, um, no, I don’t suppose I do,”

Chazz made a noncommittal noise, not looking at the Ra as he selected a movie, getting up to–oh god he was turning off the lights. Bastion had never interpreted darkness as romantic before, but his imagination was in overdrive as Chazz sat down on the bed, leaning back against the pillows, pale skin illuminated by the light of the screen. Chazz’s elbow was grazing his, but Bastion refused to interpret it as anything. He turned his attention to the screen and tried to focus.

To his credit, he kept his commentary to himself. Chazz would snort or groan at the more unbelievable parts of the film, but remained silent for the most part. Their elbows kept brushing every time they shifted, and Bastion was hypersensitive to the contact, his skin tingling long after the brief touch had passed.

He couldn’t, wouldn’t, read into this. It was nothing. Just two guys sitting in a dark room on a bed–

Bastion’s inner monologue was interrupted as Chazz shifted, his arm from shoulder to elbow pressing against Bastion’s side. He tensed, surprised and excited, torn between leaning back in to the touch and fainting from the rush of blood to his head.

“You alright?” Chazz asked, still not looking at him but not moving, arm still pressed firmly against Bastion.

“Oh, um, yes,” Bastion wished he hadn’t stuttered and sounded more sure of himself. The tone of his voice alone probably gave away the fact he was lying.

Chazz didn’t say anything else. The movie faded to the background as Bastion’s head filled with thoughts of Chazz (moreso than usual that is), allowing himself to venture in to the realm of touch carrying a deeper meaning. Chazz wasn’t a touchy person, not like Jaden or Syrus that were either touching each other or touching someone else, physical affection abundant in their dorm room. This was The Chazz. The Chazz did not touch.

If that were true, though, why was The Chazz’s leg touching his now?

Bastion struggled to keep his breathing even as he realized Chazz was pressed against him from shoulder to ankle. His stomach twisted, heat fluttering–this was intentional, it had to be. Had Chazz set this up? Did Chazz know about his crush?

His rational mind told him to scoot over, but it was drowned out by this all-consuming, irresistible urge to have more. Just this bit of contact had him wanting to wrap his arms around the other boy and never let go, to feel every bit of his skin. He didn’t know if this meant Chazz reciprocated his feelings, but it didn’t matter. He wanted him closer, wanted more of him for the selfish desires of his own satisfaction. 

And in that moment he decided he was going to take it. 

“Chazz,” Bastion rasped out, feeling like his throat had suddenly dried and been replaced with sandpaper. 

The black-haired boy turned to face him, grey eyes glinting in the light from the television. Bastion, delirious from the heat rushing to his head and how fast his heart was beating, leaned forward, closing his eyes so he wouldn’t nerve, and pressed his lips against Chazz’s. 

It was exquisite–Chazz’s lips were warm, soft, his bangs tickling Bastion’s forehead. Bastion knew he should pull back–he’d already gone too far, Chazz would surely be furious–but he couldn’t. This was everything he’d ever wanted and he wanted, no needed more. 

Hand reaching up to touch Chazz’s face, feeling that perfect soft skin that he’d always seen in the wading pool but had never been able to touch, he moved his lips against the black-haired boy’s, hungrily, desperately. 

He nearly convulsed when he felt Chazz’s lips moving, mouth parting and a soft rumble coming from his throat, his hand resting on top of Bastion’s. 

Feeling Chazz’s mouth open, Bastion’s desire only increased, wanting to taste the black-haired boy–he flicked his tongue into the other’s mouth, feeling Chazz’s tongue slide against his, the taste of coffee mixing with the taste of Chazz, and Bastion was absolutely drunk on it. There had to be a way to get closer, get more because he wanted everything from this kiss, wanted all of Chazz, and never wanted to stop. 

Bastion felt hands on his chest pushing him back, his heart sinking as he realized that Chazz was pushing him away. 

He fucked up, he–

“We have to breathe, Bas,” Chazz panted, his voice also hoarse, barely above a whisper. 

Oh. Bastion had forgotten about that minor detail. 

“But once I catch my breath,” Chazz’s nose brushed against his. “Kiss me again, okay?” 

Bastion’s heart leapt. “O-of course I will,” 

Chazz smiled. An honest-to-god smile, brightening his face and crinkling his eyes. 

Bastion decided he was definitely a movie person now. 

[ericbroflovski]

i rant about kyman under the cut

i love kyman cause its like, so easy to imagine them getting older and suddenly having their rivalry turn into sexual tension and neither of them understanding how to deal with it and being in completely denial and choosing to believe that they are just pissing each other off so much and thats why kyles whole body tightens when cartman leans in to make some bigoted remark, and cartman realizing first that he has feelings for kyle and keeping them hidden bc he is sure kyle completely hates him and decides to keep provoking kyle cause thats the only way he thinks he can get his attention. its really obvious to everyone but kyle that cartman has feelings for him and both stan and kenny think its really pathetic bc they are sure kyle would never reciprocate. but then cartman convinces kyle to go shot for shot with him at a party and they end up getting really drunk and spending all night arguing about random shit and having passionate debates on different topics and cartman starts making some teasing remarks about kyle or something and kyle realizes that cartmans flirting with him. he has a total internal crisis about it for a second and then decides to see where it goes so he flirts back which totally shocks cartman so cartman gets really nervous and asks kyle to go outside to smoke a cigarette. so theyre outside and cartman is smoking and theres no one else around cause its a cold winter night and everyone else is inside. they can hear the bass thumping inside and kyle tells cartman how stupid he is for smoking and cartman asks kyle how he can be so closeminded since hes saying smoking is stupid without even trying it first (not since trying it when they were kids and had ‘unrefine palates’ as cartman puts it) so kyle relents and says hell smoke a cig and cartman puts it in his mouth and lights it for him playing it off like oh haha kyle is such a noob he needs me to light it for him but hes really just making an excuse to touch him. kyle smokes the cig and the two of them keep laughing and arguing about stuff outside when kyle complains about how cold it is outside so cartman suggests they go hang out at his place and ‘play video games or some shit’. they go back to cartmans house and stop arguing for a moment and kyle just feels this intense moment of sexual tension as they lock eyes when they’re both taking off their scarves and jackets. all of a sudden he cant stand it anymore and he almost runs to cartman and starts kissing him deeply, grabbing him by the back of the neck and pulling him closer and of course cartman is totally floored but starts kissing back enthusiastically, on the inside thinking ‘kyle is only doing this because hes fucking blackout drunk, hell wake up and wont remember it and wont want this to be a thing but you better kiss him now cause this is your only chance’ so they fall onto the couch and literally cant control themselves and they take off their shirts and are both completely hard just from touching each others bare skin. kyle kisses up cartmans neck and cartman makes all these super pathetic noises that kyle hates himself for finding incredibly hot. kyles phone buzzes from where it fell on the floor when they started making out but neither of them pay attention to it, but then someone knocks on cartmans front door and yells for kyle. its kenny who knows kyle doesnt usually drink and was supposedly babysitting him before getting distracted by a girl he was flirting with and losing track of kyle. kyle kind of sobers up for a second and realizes that he was just making out with and getting seriously turned on by eric fucking cartman and he freaks out and jumps off the couch and puts all his clothes back on while cartman starts asking whats wrong and telling him to chill tf out and making up all these reasons why kyle shouldnt leave. kyle stomps out of the house having a literal crisis and pushes past kenny who sees kyles clothes all askew and assume he and cartman got into an actual fight. cartman is thinking fuck fuck fuck since he thought he was prepared for this to be his one chance at making out with kyle but now since he hooked up with him once he is completely obsessed and

the next part of this thing would be like cartman in a series of totally outrageous cartman style shenanigans trying to put him and kyle into romantic situations to get kyle to reconsider never hooking up with him again. and in the end cartman just honestly admits to himself and kyle that he is legitimately in love with kyle and kyle gives him a chance and they live happily ever after