#but i can't complain too much bc I have a good paying job and I don't even have to do much work
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I feel weird about my bio now that I'm working because my job title is technically systems engineering, I don't touch any design or maintenance or anything mechanical anymore BUT all my degrees are (and will be) in mechanical. That's who I am in my heart
#random rose rambles#engineering#don't ask me about my job I couldn't tell you what I'm doing even if I wanted to#not bc it's top secret but because they won't GIVE ME ANY WORK and also it's confusing and (so far) just a bunch of boring paperwork#i want to get back out to the labs so bad#LET ME HIT THINGS PLEEEASE I'LL BE GOOD AND NORMAL ABOUT IT#let me do a little CAD work or some analysis please please please#i miss my fun math#but i can't complain too much bc I have a good paying job and I don't even have to do much work#but I'm BOREDDD
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🖤💙 4 days until my Surgery 💙🖤
(Picture taken Dec 9th, 2023)
I'm very very excited for my surgery (it's my second gender affirming surgery but this one is more significant to me since it'll be top and bottom surgery) and I'm obviously counting the days until it and I thought some people might be interested in my trans journey 🏳️⚧️ So see part 7 below the cut.
Part 1 here
As the summer was ending, I got really lucky! A lesbian hairstylist (who helped organize the drag show I went in the last update) gave my name to this sales lady who sold accounting work to like companies and she needed help with researching CEO and CFO types. And she paid me out of pocket and honestly it was pretty easy internet research using Google. I felt like a little rat scurrying across the Internet 🐀 So, thank you lesbians 🙏🙏
(Picture taken Nov 6th, 2022)
Apparently I really impressed her so she got me hired full time as a sales admin for her company (I wouldn't have gotten with my lack of a college degree without her) and I've had that job since! And a lot of my transition wouldn't be possible without the pay and benefits of this job. Also this is my first job where I get gendered correctly and I'm slowly getting less anxious about going to the bathroom at work 🥰
She honestly mom'd up on me and bought me a bunch of new business casual clothes for the job. And here's an example of one of my new work outfits 😁
(Picture taken Nov 14, 2022)
Bc of the new job I was able to afford a lot more things for transitioning! Like voice training. I remember when I first cracked I tried to just teach myself using videos but I wasn't good at it 😅 Also a friend during the summer of 2022 helped me and I did make some progress with her help. But, I started making a lot more progress once I started seeing a speech therapist. But, there was a barrier since I could tell she hadn't worked too much with trans people. I went to a speech therapist bc it was covered by my insurance but she moved and then I couldn't find anyone for insurance covered speech therapy. So, I eventually just paid for lessons Your Lessons Now. And, honestly it's going a lot better! It's really nice to be able to talk about my frustrations with voice training with another transfem. The biggest thing I'm learning from here is how to break the bad habit of pitching up my voice by squeezing my vocal chords.
(Picture taken Sept 8th, 2023)
I had also switched to injections and I highly recommend it! A friend even made my first two vials into earrings 🔥
I also got a lot lazier with makeup 😅 I do eyeliner wings, mascara, and blush for when I go into the office. Which for a bunch of accountants means I do about as much makeup that is normal for the women in the office 🤷♀️
(Pictures taken October 31st and December 2nd of 2022)
These were two notable exceptions. I really love the makeup I did for the Halloween of 2022 bc I decided to go as a ghost-type trainer. And the one on the right is when I learned how to use concealer to cover my 'raccoon eyes' as my dad liked to call them ���
Also this would be a good time to mention something I probably should've mentioned earlier 😅 I never learned how to use foundation. I know it's easy but I have a weird mental block around it 🤷♀️ But, in the summer of 2021 I started doing twice daily skincare routine for my face. Which took me from a very acne heavy face to people being surprised I'm not wearing foundation. Also the routine is really nice. Would recommend to those who want to get rid of their acne (send an ask if you want to know specifics).
(Picture taken Aug 20, 2023)
Romance update since I've been doing that lol: Well, things ended with all the girlfriends I had so I am down to 1 partner. And I got caught in a romance scam for a few months 😭 However, I can't really complain because I got engaged!!! It was so sweet in cute. My partner and I had this date the night before Valentine's Day under a statue outside of a local art museum. We read sapphic poetry by candle light and then they popped the question 🥰🥰
But, I say another big part of this era was I made a lot more local trans friends. Went to a good amount of house parties which would've surprised pre-transition me! And I really love my community of queer people I've been building 🥺🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️💕
(Picture taken July 21st, 2023)
Oh yeah!! I also started laser hair removal at the beginning of 2021 as well. Which was before this era but time is a lie. But the new job definitely made it easier to afford.
The biggest step for my transition was getting my surgeries set up!! And my FFS (facial feminization surgery) marks the end of this era. Below was the last picture I took before my FFS.
(Picture taken Feb 17th, 2024)
So, in my next update, I'll be showing my post-op pictures once most of the swelling went down. See you tomorrow!! 😁✌️
Next Part Here
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ok hear me out.. Bully!Abby who reads through the readers diary and finds out about the readers crush on her?!?!!?... idk, i have no specifics im just infatuated with this plot LOLL also literally obsessed with ur wtiting *chefs kiss* 🤌
nooo bc... bc… (sorry in advance this is all over the place)
i can't see any of my faves as bullies because i’ll cry if they're mean to me BUT i think abby would definitely be rude to you if you were new to WLF.
like she sees this new sweet thing running around base and she’s complaining to manny like, “why’d she even get let in here?”
you’d get paired up with her for patrol and she’d just roll her eyes at you, preparing herself for the extra effort she's gonna have to put in, expecting you to not be able to hold your own.
once you're actually on patrol though, she realizes you aren't as bad as she's anticipating. you're not as good as her, of course, but you weren't terrible.
when you're going back to your own rooms after patrol, she gives you a quick, "good job today." and your heart just flips!!
you can't stop thinking about her after that. you try to stay cool because she very rarely even pays attention to you, but you can't help but talk about her in your diary. scribbling little hearts around her name when you write about your day.
and then one day... you're in the cafeteria, writing down the details of your patrol, and someone calls you across the room, so you walk over to them leaving your diary open on the table, not even thinking about it.
and abby, who was gonna come talk to you about the plans for a run tomorrow, sees your stuff and walks over to it. sits down next to where you've left your food and diary, and she can't help but peak at what you were writing. sits there in shock when she sees her name all over the place, but quickly gets her act together when you walk back over to her.
then she asks you if you’re free, asks you to come back to her room with her to discuss what the plan is for tomorrow. and obviously you agree, quickly packing the journal into your bag and following her to her room like a lost puppy. the whole walk there you can’t help but stare at her back, the way she walks with such determination, the way her shirt is hugging her arms a little too tightly. by the time you approach her door you’ve got yourself worked up, a gooey feeling in your stomach.
“listen, i saw what you wrote in your diary.”
your heart literally drops to your ass, you start profusely apologizing for making her uncomfortable, but she’s quick to cut you off.
“you’ve got a little crush on me, hm? you like when i’m all mean, don’t you?”
you just stare up at her with wide eyes, the embarrassment of being called out makes your cheeks turn red.
“yeah, i bet you do like it. just need someone to give you a firm hand, isn’t that right, sweet girl?”
she swears she can see the thoughts leave your head as you slowly nod up at her. she can’t stop the smirk from spreading across her mouth as she realizes how much fun she’s gonna have messing with you </3.
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Really happy that you do male!reader fics <3
Could you do Tf2 mercs x M!Reader’s first time being intimate nsfw :)
(I’m not sure if you’re taking nsfw request so srry if you’re not)
Tf2 Mercs x M!Reader "First Time With The Mercs"
NSFW so youngin's you know you can't be here :p
Includes: Scout, Spy, Heavy, Sniper, Demoman, Engineer, Soldier, and Medic x Male Reader
Scout
Scout is super awkward, but not in the shy way. Like the obnoxious way that tries to make anything a joke.
As you two start to get serious, he starts to get noisy with little whines, cut off moans, and heavier breaths.
If he tops, missionary 100%. If you top, cuddlesex/on your side.
In terms of dom/sub, he's prefer to dom, but is a natural at being a sub.
Cums embarrassingly quickly- please don't tease him he will cry.
He recovers fast, asking to fuck you/be fucked more
Suuuuuper insatiable when he gets into it
Complains that he wants more when you're tired, even if he's on the bring of passing out.
Your hands slide down Jeremy's slender chest as he shivered out a gasp. You looked to his eyes, he quickly averted his own.
"Don't be shy, I heard you're such a sex god." You tease before you kiss his forehead.
"I am! but like- it's different when you're fucking a girl!" He justified.
"Well, it's not too different really. I'll teach you." You promise as your hands slither around his waist to pull him flush against you. He squeaks rather loudly as you grab his ass through his pants.
"Now, be a good boy and take these off, alright Jer-bear?"
"That is the worst possible name you could have said."
Medic
Surprisingly he's more knowledgeable about m/m se- nvm he's quoting an anatomy book. (he knows what to do dw)
Probably a virgin because sex distracts from experiments
"I haven't lost my virginity bc i never lose" type beat
He isn't scared of touching you, his hands move like he's studying you.
He's a non-negotiable top. It doesn't matter how big or burly you are. Even if Heavy was to ask, he's a top.(95% dom, 5% sub)
You ride him on his vivisection table, his eyes are always on your chest and mouth.
God he nearly came wen you started calling him "Doctor" in-between moans.
Def dirty talks in German
"Well, hop up." He orders, like you're just here for another check up. He pats the table gently before he starts to unbutton his coat.
"Someone's all business." You teasingly mutter, a loving glare shot his way. He sighs in feigned annoyance and smacks your ass as an encouragement.
"Now sit down and start stripping."
"Alright Doctor."
You saw the word shiver down his spine. You saw his eyes light up.
You certainly felt the harsh and heavy kiss as you were pinned to the table.
Sniper
He's kinda just??? neutral??? when you ask him to hook up. V upfront with what he's into and what he'll do to you.
Mundy loves quickies so fucking much. Slow sex is too dangerous and makes him uncomfortable.
Alleyways, closets, bathrooms, it doesn't matter. He's proficient in standing up sex.
He's scared of danger, but also has the biggest danger kink.
Mundy is a switch in terms of top/bottom, but only doms
He loves pulling your hair if you blow him.
If you scratch up his back as he fucks you, he'll fuck you harder.
Loves to make you swallow if you give oral.
Bites you 100%. He growls and groans. Super animalistic.
You slide between Mundy's legs as his eye is nuzzled into position. He had agreed to let you come on a job with him, calling you his 'assistant' to the client. As you unzip his pants, he makes a quiet noise of warning.
"Careful, if you fuck up my shot, I'll make you pay for it." He mumbles, barely audible.
"Of course not sir, I would never." You hum, feigning inferiority.
His hands were just as careful as you let him fuck your throat. He suddenly shoves his cock all the way down your throat and tells you to be quiet for a second. You hear the rifle click, then a sudden boom! as he pulls back and lets you cough.
"Good boy."
Heavy
Mikhail is super excited and happy when you ask.
He's super careful with you, despite being surprisingly knowledgeable about the mechanics of sex with another man.
He openly says he's scared that he'll hurt you. You assure him that you like it rough.
Subtop, you cannot convince me otherwise.
As a romantic, he demands "our first" be in his bed.
You get to his room and it's full of roses and candles. You nearly fuck him in the doorway at the gesture.
He'd prefer doggy, but missionary is a close second.
The BIGGEST cuddlebug after.
"Fuck! Please!" You beg after what feels like the third hour of fingering. Heavy hushes you gently as he kisses the back of your neck.
"You need to be ready." He coos as his other hand cradles your neck and face. He's so agonizingly gentle it makes you want to cry.
"I'll be fine! I sear just please fuck me already!"
Heavy removes his fingers and pushes the head against you.
"If you're sure..."
Spy
He's the best you've ever had. If this is what sex is like with Spy, you'd have to marry him.
He knows exactly what to do to make you hot and bothered.
Honestly? a Vers Switch. He's a man that can shift to whatever his partner needs.
Bad at pillowtalk, but great at foreplay and the actual fucking.
He eats you out first, then teases you until you're begging.
Even if you're topping, he calls you his good boy. Sorry, you can't bang the sass out of him :/
Loves roleplaying. He pulls out the most convincing disguises for you.
Suit kink king over here
He's obsessed with making you cum with the minimal amount of touching.
You love the way Spy touches you. His hands pull over you in a way that makes you really feel like a man. He doesn't feminize you if you offer to bottom, either. You feel like a man in another man's arms.
"You're so handsome." He praises as he makes his way down to his knees. You cup his cheek and smile down at him.
"I bet you are too."
"Touch my mask and you'll be impaled."
"God I hope so."
Spy rolls his eyes as he unzips your pants. Hopefully you make the comment up with great sex.
Soldier
Kind of confused, but gets with the program pretty easy.
Bro you're gonna have to bottom, sorry :/
He's got a praise kink the size of Texas, please call him a big strong man.
He's a bit of a sucker for outside sex, especially fields with trees.
You offer to fuck him during a picnic, you can practically see the steam whistle out of his ears at the suggestion.
He wouldn't know how to prep you, but he'd watch in fascination as you prep yourself.
"C'mon Soldier, fuck me like a man."
He had to bite his lip to stop him from cumming in his pants.
Jane is on top of you, you can see his eyes from under the helmet and his pupils are BLOWN. He's super excited and loves seeing you.
"Well? Why don't you get in me and make a man outta me?
He lines himself up quickly and tries to push in, but you stop him before he accidentally hurts you.
"Whoa there! Be a little slow." You correct gently. Soldier opened his mouth and a loud start, but lowered his volume when you flinch.
"Sorry there. Slow, right?" He repeats with a kiss to your forehead.
Demoman
If sex was a performance he'd have multiple awards.
He's super enthusiastic and chill about it, retelling all of his boyflings in Scotland and hungover mornings surrounded by many burly men.
"You don't know how long it's been since I've had a dick in me!"
Powerbottom or very enthusiastic top
Multiple rounds, all night long. He's an advocate for snack breaks in-between.
You two are naked just on his bed eating pizza and shooting the shit as if you didn't blow his back out 10 minutes before.
Homiesexual as FUCK
You two are super chill, cracking jokes about your dicks during sex
"okokok serious now" "Aye lad, stick that meat in me-" "PFFT-"
Tavish is barely able to keep it together as you two banter between gasps of air. Yeah, the sex is amazing for both you and him, but the fact that you two just get on so well ruins any sort of flirtatious mood.
"I'm going to rail you so hard you can't speak." You promise.
"Didn't you say that last time mate?" Tavish teases as he locks his legs around your hips. "Doesn't mean you can't try again."
You smack his flank and both of you let out a small giggle as you push yourself fully inside of him.
Engineer
He's the most LOVING ASS BITCH
HOMIE
H O M I E
Lies you down, kisses you all over, treats you like a proper houseguest and lover.
He knows exactly what to do, he talks you through what he does to you and how he'll do it.
Dell is a babbler during sex 100%
"Aw fuck baby that's it, that's fuckin' it- God damn honey you're an angel!"
Gentlest top, most loving Dom/submissive bottom
Has been in a few secret m/m relationships
"Dellllll" you whine in his arms, he kisses you at your collarbone in response.
"I know, thank you for letting me do this." He adores. You agreed to let him kiss you up and down before you started actually fucking. Little did you know beforehand, you would be stuck on the bed for twenty minutes as he worshipped every inch of you.
You felt your hands snake up his warm back as you beg him for the 30th time tonight for him to get on with it. He chuckles as your insistance.
One last kiss and he removes himself from you. "Alright, you've been patient enough."
#tf2 spy#tf2 pyro#tf2 heavy#tf2 sniper#tf2 medic#team fortress two#tf2 scout#tf2 x reader#tf2 demoman#Tf2 soldier#tf2 headcanons#Sniper x reader#Medic x reader#Soldier x reader#Spy x reader#Heavy x reader#Demoman x reader#Tf2#Tf2 x male reader#Fanfiction#Fanfic#tf2 smut#prettyboypistol#prettyboy pistol
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U conplain more than you write. You absolutely like everybody else need therapy. Don't consider it a hating comment. But the amount of heartfelt posts you post on here is huge. And it's absolutely normal. But the way you're making it seem like a habit and the repetitive texts you write looks like you struggle with the same problem every time. And let me tell you that I know for sure that you don't receive many complaints as you make it seem cause you're posting asks one by one 24/7 and by the time you post this one too I'd know too since I've sent it just recently.
I m not following you anymore anyway after this ask . Not just because I hate you but because I respect you fondly and know how rare to come across pple like you. But on a real life basis not on a blog where pple don't even know who you are.
I don't understand half of this ask.
"you need therapy, don't consider it a hating comment" why would I? I don't know how long you've been here honey, but I'm very open about being in therapy. I am in therapy already and there's nothing wrong with that. but thank you for the advice? which was so rude and unsolicited, do you go around every blog telling people to go to therapy because they have problems? are you that kind or obnoxius? if it's kindness, and you're so willing to help, please use the kofi link and fund our sessions, thank you. ❤️ unless you only wanna go around making people feel bad for struggling, that is. not that it's gonna work on me, but good try I guess? 3/10 for effort 😭
"the amount of heartfelt posts you make here is huge and it's absolutely normal" but it annoys you all the same? I know it's shocking to hear, but, yes........... my struggles...... are about the same things. sorry I'm not dramatic enough to have a new problem everyday dhdhdhdhfhf
I'm battling with my mental health. I'm battling anxiety, so I repeat myself, because when I have no energy to reply I don't want people to feel ignored. I'm explaining myself when people misunderstand me so that my points are clearer. again, 2/10 bc I sure as hell am not gonna feel bad or apologize for being mentally ill lmao
"I know for sure you don't receive as many complaints as you make it seem" 1/10 I literally could not care less what YOU think. I know what my inbox looks like. I don't respond to hateful asks that are just nonsense, like "abuse enjoyer", "weirdo", "what can we expect from a multi stan", because engaging in a conversation like this is pointless. but asks like this???? why should I keep my mouth shut when you're throwing crap at me?
"I'm not following you anymore anyway after this ask" oh no, why 😭😭😭
please shove all that fake kindness somewhere where someone will care. people like YOU are the reason authors have to hide their struggles, they can't say anything on their own blogs, can't talk to anyone, and then just end up disappearing. because people like you make them feel bad for being human and sharing their thoughts and opinions.
I will complain however much I want on this goddamn blog, I don't go on yours and tell you what to do with it. pay me to write for you and then you will have any right to tell me that I should just do my job and shut up. otherwise? kiss my ass.
thank you for affirming the decision I made to leave lmao.
and to my angels, I know you're not used to seeing this side of me, and I am sincerely sorry, but there are lines that shouldn't be crossed, and I'm not a mat for people to walk all over. 🤷♀️
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castle 6x16 room 147
the cult hypnosis episode liveblog
(side note I can't believe they didn't have dever & huertas-- heck I would have loved the OTHER dever to do an audio commentary. The castle's dad one had the audio instead which, like, valid ig.) Anyway I'm on a new dvd now, which is why I am complaining about the lack of (my preferred) bonus features.
Not QUITE the same mess lol
KABOOM I loove alexis sm <3 <3
Oof I'm quitting my job to go to school I can't imagine having a job & a non-job & a tutoring gig & paying a lease & holy crap I am so privileged
Yay calling him Sito.
were not was
Jane: He didn’t have to. Good looking guy, no bags, checking in for one night?
that's a flip phone... Plenty of people have their own website. too bad the guy doesn't have imbd tho
random lady yelling.
Love esposito's outfit! so chill!
You never get a confession this early in an ep. u KNOW smth's going to go down. Is there going to be another one really fast like this where they solve it hella fast & after the third murder with an instant confession they get suspicious?
Ah she has an alibi! Is she confessing to cover for someone else?
Love the doodle. Maybe it was a code to whoever is going to read her confession I love the flashbacks. While I'm here, the door opened on the left, attached on the right. I don't think it was like that in the crime scene. wdym you don't think so?
someone is making her confess to their crime that's why this stuff is happening.
Yeah that's how addiction is alright.
I loooove how she doesn't remember! Anita Miller: No, from me!
RC: What about forensics? Did CSU come up with anything? JE: Yeah, a hotel room in New York City? (he shudders) They found all kinds of fun stuff. (not clipping)
Clipping the theory part. unless there was a tall/cext to the phone you don't have!
Doc holloway's back!!!!
Ryan & me: Two weeks? Wait a minute, that’s how long Anita says she’s been feeling blurry.
RC: As much as I love a good mystery, a small part is hoping he can give us some clarity on what the hell is going on.
idk why I find the "ask for help" poster with the guy crying in their hands so humerous. Maybe bc it reminds me of the cotton eyed joe meme I made. Me: *just commit autosurgery trying to cut off my own breast* My surgical tape: *won't stick* Me: *crying* my adhd: IF IT WEREN'T FOR COTTON EYED JOE I'D BE MARRIED A LONG TIME AGO
Love background artists.
I need details.
I love love love the way it goes with the filming. POV filming. (markiplier moments, girl hand, man hand, we also need a black guy. Like that aone scene where you have three hands at some point bc you're picking up the artifact, swapping the teddy bear, holding his nose so he doesn't sneeze, & every single movement is a different person's hand. for Diversity. We need a left-handed person now tho.
Because he did what to you? aiy dee kay. Love the music sm KB, explaining like bonvolio: Yeah, you and Anita Miller are working together on this. You’re either covering for each other or you’re covering for someone else out there.
love how there are two interrogation rooms. She's very adamant that she did this. Why not take the out? "So I didn't kill him? I'm hella confused after all..."
Get doc holloway back here. RC: What if their lives intersect, just not in such a literal sense? Me, just participating in the fictional canadian character poll: ramona flowers? powers? renata? Hold on... scott pilgrim dreams is what I'm saying.
RC: (dryly) Really? Alternate universe? That’s how little you think of me? RC in a future episode: *goes to an au where lanie is preggo & rysposito is canon. unless that was just a fanfic i read...)
I love her ring KB: (off is look) I’m sorry, it’s just, you got excited. It’s kind of cute. RC: Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know how I like the weird stuff. Me: SEASON ONE
WHAT'S nothing? on your phone there?
I LOVE this kid, this absolute child. radar oreilly vibes off him, esp with castle's psychic link theoryu.
OUTSTANDING! LOVE THE WORDS! consistency bc of slaughter! "I need to confess!" 'take a number'
"She remembers bc she thought it looked suspicious" that's the only reason someone WOULD remember! & the only reason they'd take a pic.
a big bald man!
It's just a doodle. It is a celtic knot holy trinity sign, no? the van you've been disoriented. How long have you had that symbol in your head? KB: this is important! Dwight: *I killed a guy but fuck ok bestie*
Assertiveness training I love this tranny sm. He needs to get on testosterone.
Sometimes THEY scrub footage, sometimes it's the detectives...
her phone again. what is even going on with that?
I love it. love the way she picks up her jacket, the boys, she's coming back to work this late at night in an hour... I love these folks this family their dynamics their movements & body language I thouht it was jim not alexis. Peter's cafe/bistro
Her face. she is rolling her eyes & I love alexis & I love her bangs & I love alexis & the alexis-kate relationship kjsdflkjkldjfsd It IS pride! Ooh music!!
Love those two cops smiling in the elevator. IT implies that there was a conversation in there that we missed.
Me: native Esposito: also technically native EHI: *kills ppl in their "sweat lodge initiation"*
lmao SO culty he talks so slow. Need to speed this up. good gravy. Ooh I only just noticed her eyeliner. love it.
this place reminds me of japan. Why is he expecting? Oh maybe bc he killed the guy! ooOOooh! SHUT THE DOOR SHUT THE DOOR BY WHICH I MEAN NO DON'T SHUT THE DOOR YOU'RE GOING TO BE TRAPPED THIS IS MY PARANOIA KICKING IN.
Love the art of himself on the walls. Where is that? Sweden? years????
Bauer: I’m struck by the level of your hostility, Detective. It’s not healthy. RC: You know what I’m struck by is your total lack of curiosity as to why a homicide detective is asking about your employee. "little group" THOUSANDS of members across the globe! RC: Wow. That’s – amazing, how you would just know what off the top of your head. Bauer: I make a point of meeting every member of my EHI family. The people you mentioned are not among them. Me: thousands of members & you have met every one sure but u remember every one?
Bauer: *looks to the side offscreen* RC: *looks to the side too* *realizes* *rolls his eyes up* Me: I do the same thing when my brothers are standing behind me irl & annoying me so I whip around to face them...in minecraft
btw what is that glass thing on there?
grande poobah??? his what???
RC: So all three of our confessors have had problems in their lives. Alcoholism, anger management, assertiveness issues, all things that they could have gone to EHI to treat.
that's true! RC: Wipe memories. Think about it. The fogginess, the confusion over the last two weeks? KR: So you’re saying that a glorified self-help group can erase memories? How? Doc H: With drugs.
Me: *seen the s7 premier* Memories actually change all the time. Outstanding! Love the words! KR: Castle, do you have any idea how insane that sounds? I would clip that but meh RC: Just not in person. Me: Not your psychic theory again!
"Ok he did NOT flirt with me" (why does the woman's vers need to be flirty tho? /gen q for EHS or w/e their name was)
Just letting them continue to argue lol
KB: Yes, a genius at annoying me. (not clipping) RC: Yes, a genius at annoying me. KB: (aside) I’m starting to feel the urge.
the door opens the wrong way THE DOOR OPENS THE WRONG WAY THEY MENTIONED IT RIGHT AFTER MEEEE (tho I have seen it too) wait all these rooms have the same painting? srs?
the way ryan says "su'm" instead of something, I looove it. kinda hate it tho.
CSU: Detective, I traced the signal from Bauer’s video conference with Beckett. JE: So where in Stockholm is he? CSU: That’s the thing. The signal was routed through Stockholm, but it looks like it originated from a local IP address. JE: Local, as in Manhattan? CSU: As in inside this building.
Love esposito's giant coats & layers & stuff.
that hand is slim, but pretty masculine. He smiles but idk if it is flirtatious. None of the suspects said that the bathroom door was open. Why do they know his name tho? Two versions, one for women & another for men? You don't have one for left-handed ppl or someone who maybe can't use or doesn't have their right hand, for Black ppl, for any poc, for ppl who are women but don't want to smile flirtatiously with justin, for fat ppl...
Someone from the crew, yeah you do need a bunch more ppl than just justin, the suspects, & the head of ehi.
At least she pronounced her T. Oof the music. it's so good.
Aw dwight never got to confess slkdjfslkdfjl these three have become friends & I love it sm. Friendship forged in a situation like this.
KB: It’s okay, Castle. You know I like the weird ones. Me: YES YES SJDLFSJKDFLSJDKLFJDS THIS IS THE SERIES
KB: (slyly) How do you know what I do to you when you’re sleeping?
Alexis!!!
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More rambling hehe slander is on rn and I have a headache and I might be having a heart attack but it's probably just this low simmer panic I've been sitting with all night and there's only an hour left and I'm gonna get thru it
You know what? It's fine. I'm surviving. I'm getting paid to be here and maybe I'll hit overtime this week bc of this shift. Nothing matters, I'm not special or important, I'm just another number on the roster, it's fine. There's only an hour left and then I can go relax at the hotel for an hour and come back in the morning :)
I'm gonna get back on track with food + exercise this week, I'm gonna hang out with L and get as much time with him as I can, I won't be so grumpy because none of this even matters, let it go.
I'm skinny and if I stay on top of my shit this week I'll be 105 or lower whenever I find a scale. I'll get to go home for thanksgiving (cold weather + hug my family) and then I might come back to Miami for the next gig, might not, it doesn't matter either way. (Realistically I probably will and it might suck but it might not suck, who knows.) Next year I'll plan ahead to Not be in Florida for the entire fall + winter seasons :)
Everything is fine. I'm surviving. There are worse jobs lmfao. There are better jobs too! Right now I'm here and it's fine! Most days I love my job and it's unfortunate that this gig hasn't had many of those days but you know what, it's fine, none of it matters!!!
Tomorrow will be a better day. Load out is easy, you just take things apart and put them in boxes. There's so many people on this call, I can fuck around and just pretend it's a workout and talk shit with my coworkers and it's gonna be fine.
My phone hasn't died even though I've been on it for almost 10 hours straight, old phone would've been dead twice by now. Even if I had a book or activity it's too dark down here to see anything, I would've had to sit out in the open somewhere on some random box, this is better. I feel like today's shift has been the equivalent of "a watched pot never boils" except you know what, it does eventually boil, and a 12 hour shift with Zero tasks also eventually ends! It's almost time to start packing my shit up and go sit somewhere visible so bossman can tell me when it's over lol.
Life is funny. I feel like I've gotten over something tonight, not sure what exactly. This music is still getting louder, idk how they do it. I feel like my ears hurt even through the earplugs. But it's fine and I'm feeling better than I did when I got here. I also didn't actually cry the entire time! Almost cried once, had a lot of low level panic energy and a big mope, feeling ok right now (maybe bc it's almost over.) I guess the lesson is, no matter how unpleasant the situation, just make yourself as comfortable as possible and wait it out? Nothing lasts forever.
How silly that people pay thousands of dollars to attend this event and I've just been complaining and resisting the entire thing; I'm being paid to be here and I can't even enjoy it ? / But it's not my vibe and I would've never come here if I didn't have work, and now I know not to work it again next year. It's all fine.
I guess there's something to be said about learning how to surrender and accept whatever unpleasant environment you find yourself in, there's a lot of potential for growth if you can meditate your way through it. The music hasn't been terrible and I might've had a better time on a different day (if I wasn't on the clock and I could've done drugs haha)
But, ayy, 9:56. Bossman said expect to get cut around 10 or 11 so it could be any minute now :) maybe I'll pack up and go sit somewhere with less bass resonance; there's not a lot of good options for seating out there but maybe I'll socialize for the last bit of the night.
Whatever. Nothing matters. The bass vibrations feel kinda cool and at least this guy has variety between his songs. Maybe L will come back soon but I know he wants to see John summit so maybe I'll be driving myself home and he'll find another ride, or maybe he'll try to talk me into going over there with him, or maybe we're actually staying until midnight for some reason, who knows, I don't know shit, I'm tired of all of this, I'm just here and I'm just existing. As soon as I can leave this place, I will be. I'm gonna go check in with bossman and see what the deal is about cut times.
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Had a wild and vivid dream it was me with another girl (can't remember who she was, maybe my irl friend? She was blond-ish and spoke little) and we were just, going around hypnotizing other women. Was this sexual in nature? Probably. But we just walked down the streets I in front her a few steps behind me flashing my telephone to them and they'd either get big empty eyes and walk away or just smile and shake their heads like Nah Doesn't Work On Me. It was like Halloween too I think everyone was outside on their front door and some had costumes and shit.
We walked until we reached a mall and inside the mall we got into this, toy shop? Where it was full of ppl many very kinky too. We didn't try hypnotize them but they seemed to be familiarized w whatever we were doing. There was a doll someone was holding up with a massive clit you'd even more up and down I praised it outloud. I wanted to stay here but my friend kept us walking and eventually we found a doll to buy where I also admitted I had a doll kink so this is great which, I mean I fucking guess????? Maybe????????? Not something I'd list up in the top 10 but whatever you say dream Luly. So we went to pay an the prize was 175.000 and I was like ah I don't have that much money :( so I was gonna just steal it but my friend went Nuh Uh ☝️ Wait and then the number became 153.000 so we left jolly. Again didn't give me the chance to hypnotize this one.
We kept walking and we ran into a comic/manga store w a glass full of little figurines and I was like lol wait I want to see if the hypnosis works in any of them (don't know why I thought it would thinking with my dick I guess) but suddenly my friend taps my arm and I see a mall cop stopping everyone telling them to get down and I was like attempting to walk away but my friend grabbed my arm and got on her knees so I followed suit.
He then kept yelling and screaming and I wasn't having fun bc i don't like cops and I also kept doing things you shouldn't probably like searching around in my bag (tbf he had asked for our Visas so I was like well I don't have that but I'd show my id at least in my phone). Also took off all my many rings that for some reason I had.
He then exclaimed that we were everyone going to have to give back what we took in little boxes and leave them under computer desks (guess the mall had a cyber or something) and that's when I got pissed because 153k IS A LOT OF MONEY :/ so i started ranting about how me and my friend might've done other crimes but we paid the prize for what we bought it wasn't stolen so it wasn't fair to get the same treatment and I rambled so much man just not only agreed but started venting and was like complaining about how it's because these people that the mall is coming apart and I looked down and on the ground floor it was abandoned and a cloth circle dirty and dull laid in the middle.
From there he actually took us to his home where we met his wife, a tall and lanky middle aged woman with brown hair held in a bun. She was sweet and cute. He on the other hand was very pale, fat and short. Almost entirely bald except for the sides. Stress definitely aged him more than he was old, he was wrinkly. And he was missing one eye, something that wasn't as noticeable when he was on his uniform.
From here I remember little the house was old and yellowy light brown the wife was gonna cook us a meal we found where to sit and he was just having a breakdown. He clearly wasn't good economically and he couldn't stand to lose this job. His missing eye was really upsetting for him too I remember him saying while covering that side of his face "WHERE'S PORKY'S OTHER EYE?". It was sad a little.
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Good morning tumblr friends :>
I've been. Very tired lately and yesterday I informed my boss I will be leaving my job when I start school again. It's a big decision but I'm so worn out. More work rambles under the cut
I'm a manager in my place of employment, and I work very hard but it's too hard. I do too much and it's never enough because we're constantly overwhelmed and short staffed. I've worked there for years and I earn very little. I'm not interested in making a lot of money, but my pay as a manager is less than the starting pay for several fast food restaurants around me which.. makes me a little bitter. People always suggested I just work for those jobs instead but the pay wasn't that important to me, it just sucked that it was so low. I don't want another job like I have now, I want someone that matters to me, hence why I reapplied for college again.
I'm just tired and done. I'm at the end of my rope and my boss understands bc she is too :( we're all struggling there right now. I work some insane hours this week. Monday 6:00-14:00, (and I know I'll be there longer bc there's a meeting that happens every Monday that starts at 14:00), Tuesday 14:00-20:30, Wednesday 7:00-15:00, Thursday 14:00-20:30, Friday 8:30-16:30,,,,
Like. I open the store, then close the store, then open the store, then close the store, then open again,,,,, This is killing my body. I can't establish routine in my life or maintain a good work like balance and I know I wouldn't be able to do well in school like this. And it's always different too each week, my schedule is never consistent. It's got me crazy haha
I don't complain much but man I'm just tired :(
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😗
#i got rejected FROM A FAST FOOD JOB so that is exactly how it is going rn#it's fine tho i BOMBED that fuckin interview by being so anxious and unprepared lol#it was a stupid busy location and i have like. 0 experience in any restaurant setting#and i'll be 🥰 $1000+ in debt being past due on rent bc my roommate is moving and can't pay either#i promise i have good credit ms landlord i'm just suffering here#i want to move to eugene 😞🤙#and trying to but the shackles of my lease and $0 i am just venting now fjdnhfbfb#ugh i gotta make a actual vent post there's just too much complaining.#ev
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Hey hey heyyyy💖 can i request for a seventeen reaction? One where you visit them after not being able to do so for the past few weeks because of uni? Thank you💞🤗
a/n: hehe
seungcheol: he'd take one look at you and tell you to drop out so you could see him more often. you'd actually consider it. simp.
jeonghan: it's jeonghan. there's no way you wouldn't see his clingy ass every. single. day. he's the type of boyfriend who would sit outside the door and force you to talk to him while you're in the restroom. the most he can go without you is like two days. even then he would act like he hasn't seen you in months. you get no personal space.
joshua: "sup bro."
jun: you? leave HIM? for WEEKS!? apology with tears. man has been lurking around the house like a lost puppy. he's been dragging his feet so much that the neighbors downstairs stopped complaining about his heavy footsteps. literally perks up when he sees you. he tells you he made you something and it's a shrine of you shoved in the corner of his closet - custom made prayer candles and all.
soonyoung: would whip out the ppt he's been working on the entire time you were gone. it's got everything: pictures, things he did when you weren't around, empty slides, jokes he told that nobody laughed at, comic sans, cool transitions, the lost city of atlantis, lasers, the emoji movie...
wonwoo: I feel it with my whole ass heart and flat ass that wonwoo would be the type of bf who jokes around and teases you a lot. would definitely pretend like he forgot who you are, but you see through him because he can't stop smiling after teasing you. actually, he hasn't stopped smiling for weeks. he was trying to perfect his smile for when he sees you again bc he remembered you once told him you liked it when he smiled.
woozi: you think he's pretending he forgot who you are. he actually forgot who you are. 3 months of dating? never happened. it's been erased by all the marvel content he binged and caught up on in the weeks you were gone. the memory of your first kiss? gone. replaced by t'challa x woozi adventure headcannons...
mingyu: the type to pick you up and swing you around while hugging you. but has been hitting the gym a lot lately so he can't stop his momentum so the only way he can put you down is if he releases you like a shot put.
minghao: would ask to see your grades to determine whether or not you can continue to hang out with him.
dk: probably joined a pyramid scheme while you were gone. didn't want to disturb you while you were studying to ask for help, and was too nice to say "no" to the person. greets you by reading from his script and leads you to his bedroom-turned-showing room where you can watch the promotional video and browse the products.
seungkwan: bold of you to assume you CAN visit him. mans is fully booked. he has interviews and editorials and a cameo in a music video. his assistant schedules you for a 5 min chat for the first tuesday of next month. bestie you might have to start concentrating in uni more if you want a job that pays you well enough so you can buy tickets to his next fanmeeting.
vernon: mf's voice would crack.
chan: acts like he belongs to the streets. simped to "sad songs for abbs" playlists on spotify. bought tickets to the next keshi concert. when he sees you he asks you if he would look good with black stud or diamond earrings. cries when you tell him he wouldn't look good with a combover (but it's honestly bc he missed you and partly because he actually thought he would look good with one).
#wondernus imagines#seventeen imagines#seventeen au#seventeen x reader#seventeen scenarios#svt imagines#svt scenarios
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ohh for sure pledis is still a trash company but even they decided to do bus routes and ads for their 10th year. i really do hope that something does come out of this and more information is revealed, esp if kfans are starting to say stuff now. it just pains me that it might not change anything, unless maybe they speak up themselves.
have you seen the state of the albums fans are getting too?? theyre getting ones that are missing cds or photocards, and there have been many with ripped pages in the middle (which happen to all be aron's pages) its clear this is probably due to the lack of quality control during manufacturing, especially if this album is as rushed as it seems. they most likely skipped a whole part of product checking to get them out faster.
ahh i didnt even think about that ;;; i hope theyre able to find a good contract because thats the least they deserve. i find it so difficult to wish them well and hope for their future because OF COURSE im going to support them, but the feeling of injustice just overshadows it and it just hurts. yea i think their staff team got dissolved, their performance director posted a goodbye to the practice rooms. its so sad that a whole team of people lost their job too
yup lmao like even pledis had stuff planned so that's why i can't blame them as much for all the terrible stuff going down because seems like their staff (the ones working on nu'est stuff ofc) was also caught up in this mess and didn't know what was happening either
with kfans making more noise about it now i really hope we get some answers but i won't get my hopes up for it since it's scary for anyone closely involved to speak out against a big corporation like that and honestly, maybe they don't even know why this happened either but at this point i'd be happy to accept a "i didn't expect this to be the last album" or anything along those lines just for closure that we were not just crazily assuming things this whole time (even though i think it's pretty much a fact now with that album behinds video though it wasn't a straight forward statement from anyone)
what??? noooo i had no idea that albums were arriving damaged?!!! everything about this album is so low quality, poorly managed, and rushed from the design portion to now even the manufacturing causing damaged and defected albums? they really did not pay attention at all omg
also a minor thing but i'm very peeved that the cd itself for this album is in a paper envelope...it looks so thin on video but since i don't have it on me i don't know if it is actually easily torn paper quality or not but like are you poor or something???? it's a hard cover book style album which usually wouldn't come with separate cd like that because there is always a place for the cd to be held, even worse because this entire album has zero design so the envelope is just plain white with the same 1234567890 logo that they've slapped on literally everything
the quality is severely lacking...while looking for the torn albums i see a lot of fans complaining about how much empty space the photobook has like blank pages or just really tiny pictures for no reason with the rest of the page just being white??? like i understand you're (whoever worked on this album) trying to pass this on as "minimalism" but absolutely no aesthetic eye, my sis filmed her unboxing it for me and she pointed it out right away bc it just looked so bad and done with no intention
and also my judgement might be skewed here since i've mainly only bought day6 albums which relatively cheap for some reason lol but this nu'est album seemed to be on the more expensive side of the price scale right? the effort is not justifying that price
letting someone go without prior notice is really shitty and on top of that they did this to them while kinda letting them believe that nu'est would continue so the members probably weren't thinking to look into other companies or contracts at all...absolutely no protection or care for their artists whatsoever
yes me too!! i really hope they manage to negotiate good contracts and we get to hear from the ones that left soon, whether it's a signing with another company or just their plans about what they're going to pursue or if they're just going to rest a while, just anything! it's also getting closer to their enlistment time which really spooks me because it's really hard to get over that 2 year hurdle without a group with a sturdy fanbase or a good company to come back to, they have a very short amount of time to cement themselves and their brand as a soloist before that time which is hard
of course i will also support all the members in whatever endeavors they choose to go on, but going from group to solo is a hard transition (speaking solely if they stay in music as a singer) and i know many loves will also continue to support all members but with almost every boy group to soloist transition, the numbers do not lie and they tend to fall off for solo activities (everyone has their own biases and also not everyone will have the monetary means to physically support like that so it's normal for this to happen...), but it's so much worse if it was a decision forced onto you rather than one you've made yourself so i worry for them right now...the way this was handled is really unfair, they seriously gave them no time at all ugh
that's so terrible :((( dismissing their whole team too...instead of getting better, this situation truly just gets worse and worse the more you hear about it, i truly feel for the staff who work hard by nu'est side...none of them deserved this, everyone involved in this mess is so unfortunate and i wish them all the best going forward
sometimes i'm not even sure if i'm making any sense in these answers to you, like this hurts my heart and my head like if this was something the members wanted it would be sad but easier to accept but it ended like this
#i follow zero fans on twt like i really don't use it for kpop interactions at all so i never know anything omg#really sad post but to brighten it up i got one thing of every member with my album so i'm happy for that!!#ok but i thought the stores in korea would let u pick what poster u want bc my local kpop stores let us do that#even with pre-order benefits they've let me pick which member or which ones i wanted#but over there (at least the store my sister went to) didn't they just pulled a random one sjhfdjsfsf pls but it's fine#if i could pick i wanted minhyun's bc he's my bias and mainly just in case i end up not getting any of his inclusions#i don't actually love his poster tbh like the picture is ok and it's also in black and white which is....ok....#obviously group poster is good too i love group things i like having all the members so that would be a good option too#but i got baekho's poster and i'm honestly so happy bc out of all the posters i actually do like his the best hahaha#and then inside it was jr's bookmark message ren and aron's photocards and minhyun's postcard#so i got one thing from each member!!! so happy!!! but i wish the bookmarks had their face on it...#i love the handwritten message but i really just want their face on everything lol like what can go wrong pls just do it#ok but what's really funny is i was skimming ktown4u's unboxing to look at the posters in case i could pick#but they pulled a group photocard and i watched someone else and they also had a group photocard#so bc i didn't look carefully at that ugly album desc for inclusions i thought u got 1 group photocard and 1 member one#so i was really excited to get the group photocard but obviously it did not work that way i'm crying asjhkfsdf#that was just too funny moral of the story is look at the album preview if u actually want to know what's inside the album unlike me LOL#anyways can't wait to actually have the album here in my hands but it will be a long time before that but that white cover#i will never be able to like it this album is not minimalistic it's rushed and poorly designed and i will always be angry about it#no bc i wrote these tags to be happier but why am i still ending it on a bad note#let's talk about the baekho poster again bc omg he looks so good on it i really love that set of pictures#im not sure where i'm going to put it yet but it's so nice#question
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🎥👾🏢?
🏢 Your job / dream job if you don't work
Currently I work part time/seasonal basically just as manual labor helping to assemble textbooks for a small print shop. It's... a little exhausting, standing there doing the exact same thing for six plus hours a shift, but the pay is decent, the owners are nice, n the hours are flexible, so I can't complain too much! I'd really love to do video game design, though Hugo, I'm cOMING FOR YOUR JOB or, short of that, maybe being an author or something. I really just want to tell stories. Got so many worlds n characters n plots in my head and I want to share them! Video games are just the ideal bc they allow for more Interaction and I love that.
👾 Do you believe in aliens?
All the sci-fi stories always go on about how the galactic society is waiting for us, or that whole "humans are space orcs" trope that goes around where we're the odd ones out compared to the other aliens, but like. What if we're the first? Like. Someone has to be the first species to reach out into space. What if we've not been contacted yet because no one out there has the tech to do it yet? What if we're here, toddling around on two legs and clawing our way into the heavens, not to join a preexisting organization of sentient races, but to create it ourselves? So that when the next come, still soft and squishy, crawling fresh from the ocean, looking to the sky with wide and wonderous eyes, we are there to greet them with open arms, guide them so that they need not push their way into the stars through violent, explosive force? The universe is old, older than we can know, but that doesn't mean that everything in it didn't have a start, that it isn't full of firsts. What if we are the first?
🎥 Fave film?
Tbh I'm not much of a movie person; I find it hard to sit still for that long without some additional stimulation like what I would get from a video game. My go-to top movies though I think are... Emperor's New Groove, Megamind, then on the other end of things, The Matrix (only the first one though, never saw the rest,) and 12 Monkeys. I've only watched 12 Monkeys once though bc it's a really good movie but it's so stressful.
#pikspeak#ask game#already answered about aliens so u get some Speculations about it instead#tried to sound Profound but also i am getting a little tired from being in the car All Day so maybe it just sounds silly#ah well cant win em all#it is fun to wonder whar might be out there though.....
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I think we are wrong to assume that La Squadra was poor based on their introductory clip where they are paid a little over 1000$ per head. IMO it's more like they were used to splurging, and suddenly the drop in cash made someone like Ghiaccio disappear into a rant.
Ghiaccio: We can't even afford Gucci underwear with this pay!
Melone: Ghiaccio, you wear underwear?
Jokes aside, here is my take on the full story.
Original Squadra established, they make a lot of money, say millions. Hence why they all dress in Gucci, and especially their idea of poverty or little money is skewed. Sure they may have come from shitty backgrounds but once you spend a bit of time in luxury it's easy to forget, it's very easy actually. You seek your current commodities as a baseline, even though to an average middle class Italian that would be wealthy not average.
The point is they were paid fairly for their services. However, when Passione is circulating billions of euroes, and you only get paid millions, you notice the difference is quite starling. Why should you get paid so little if the boss makes so much? What does the boss even do, since you're his watchdog and do the "dirty" work? And maybe you would "forgive" the boss for making nth-times your share, but what about someone like Polpo in the same league as you also making more than your share, because they are corrupted and overtax the region for "protection"? While Polpo plays dirty bc he was put in charge of land by the boss, La Squadra technically did a clean job (pun intended) in that they provided a service to get paid, unlike Polpo who is getting extra income (by threat taxes) but providing nothing. So you too would be furious at how unjust this is, within Passione (having forgotten how Passiones compares to Italy at large).
(I think the boss deciding which capos get land to oversee and which don't was a technical detail that he didn't predict would play out the way it did. In that you decide who you want to protect you: choose the best assassins, and then put someone who's good at managing like Polpo in charge of well--managing. However, if Diavolo was a good boss he should have checked on how his "tax-collector" capos were doing, bc while a bit of corruption is fine, say a bribe to park somewhere you are not supposed to, a lot of corruption will threaten the foundation of your organization. He should have checked that Polpo got too greedy and do something about it. But Diavolo was too busy hiding.)
Not sure who started to complain first, but then all men felt the same, and so did Risotto: if the boss is incompetent to determine how much each member is worth, then it must come to pass that he should be replaced by someone who can do the job. Hence Sorbet and Gelato are sent to discover his identity (my hc is that Gelato, based on his military clothes, probably had some background in how to pry information), but the boss catches words of it, and Cioccolata and Secco are sent to punish the team: kill the couple and in a way that sends the whole hitman team a message. On top of that, the boss also cuts down their pay, and sends them to meager missions, bc they don't pay much but also to clearly affront them by undervaluing their skills. Maybe Prosciutto, Pesci, and Melone went with Formaggio not bc they were needed and the minister was dangerous, but bc they were fucking bored cuz nothing else to do... The boss gives them no jobs.
In conclusion, it's the disparity between what they used to make and their current pay that made Ghiaccio angry. It was the relative difference, not absolute value of money per se, since by 10 assassinations a month he would make 10k, and that's not bad to live on?
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Source in Spanish here
Basically what happened but i might have skipped some details:
Xiao Zhan is China's biggest idol, he dominates 50% of all the scene AND he opened his own studio (im pretty sure he's not under one of the big companies), he left his previous company when he suddenly raised to stardom after CQL since they never managed to represent him well when he was a singer and didn't give him job offers.
Some people have begun to question whether all this was created by rival companies who are mad about him "hoarding" all the market for himself. Idols move a lot of money, like A LOT they're the faces of every single product you can imagine bc the idol that represents that brand will signify how much they'll sell, and xz got all the contracts.
He's new to the idol scene, he never trained. Xiao Zhan is a college graduate, a graphic designer who participated at 24 y.o in a contest and won, so he was put in a boy band. He skipped through the idol training most celebs are put under when they're young teens, so it's possible this sparked some resentment amongst ppl and haters who raise questions about his abilities and knowledge of the environment.
Since idols move the money, their fandoms are the biggest key to their success. Fans invert tons of money and time promoting their idols, they can even get paid by the idol company for promoting them, so idols NEED to stay on their good side whatever happens between them. Fandoms also reflect on others how the idol is (personally i dont agree with this and i don't think most ppl do in china either, but there are some really crazy fans there).
Earlier on, in February, a problem started between xz fans and yibo/xiao zhan shippers. Basically the shippers had published a fanfic which was really problematic tbh, it portrayed xz as a minor prostitute who crossdressed and yibo as his pimp/client idk. XZ fans didn't like this of course bc they thought it was uncalled for and damaged his image.
China has a gay ban on the media, they can't show lgbt+ content, but the internet is more relaxed (they briefly tried to control weibo for a bit but they couldn't bc of the public backlash), but they also take down content that can be pornographic and damaging for minors, so xz fans made a formal complain to the higher-ups to get this fic down.
It worked but....the Chinese government shut down AO3 altogether asdiwnxoq which if you ask me was just a matter of time tbh, more and more western sites are getting blocked in china (part of it bc of the ongoing commercial war with USA methinks).
The result? Most fandoms allied themselves against xz and his fans and began a boycott xz campaign that was really successful unfortunately. He was dropped from brands and couldn't take on new projects, he was deleted from shows which had already been recorded, they deliberately begun to give him low scores on his dramas and music, etc.
The scandal was so big and it brought so much light onto how unhealthy celebrity culture is that they even discussed this in congress.
Haters tried to dig the dirt around xz to find reasons and scandals to cancel him but they were unable to bc the guy is genuinely a really nice and down to earth person askduw and some of his old friends, school mates and work colleagues such as directors and bsckstage workers came to his defense, some celebs too but most didn't say anything bc either they didn't want to get dragged down or their companies forbid them to.
Now every now and then when stuff finally seems to be calming down some sort of "scandal" will appear to try to worsen his image, for example two teachers asked their kindergarten students to film a video saying they support xz and ppl were ofcourse mad about it (1st they didnt ask the parents for permission and 2nd fandoms can't intervene with you job for gods sake that's children's education!!!) But the fault there should have lied with the teachers not xiao zhan....
This is bc some fans believe that the idol must pay for the broken plates of their fandom which is debatable.
Everything happened during the pandemic and chinese cities were under strict quarantine to prevent covid from spreading, so high tensions + scared and mad people locked in their houses = public ppl will see themselves being more attacked by bored ppl.
To this day xiao zhan is still not out of deep waters, he still has a long road ahead and honestly i don't know what will be left of his career after it, even if he has gained a lot of support and even a lot of international support :/
Personal opinion: Sadly this whole problem could have been prevented if people knew healthy boundaries, shipping real people is frankly disrespectful, and downright mean when it could get them in trouble with authorities and their jobs. Separate the actors from their characters, yibo and xiao zhan have amazing chemistry together bc they're top actors and managed to built quite a good friendship, but they aren't wangxian...
you shouldn't ruin someone's career just bc you don't want that person to be better than you fave, fandom culture is really fun but also very toxic if you don't put boundaries between you and your idols. Follow them if it makes you happy, but they don't owe you nothing and you don't owe them anything either. Be mature about it and don't let it consume your life, instead of supporting your idol by buying 37 of the same lipstick set, donate that money and genuinely do some good for others.
Some international fans might not know here on tumblr yet but Xiao Zhan over the last six months has been the victim of the biggest hate campaign in China's celebrity scene which is why he has only appeared thrice all this year in public and his works and career have been severely damaged all due to made up shit by haters :)))
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