#but i can't be the proudest of it because it hurt so much to write and it failed compared to GT and COFT

[not-poignant]

Hi Pia! What work is you think is your best one? In your opinion, not counting readers response, kudos and so on, which work you are the prouder of?

I don't know, anon!

The works I feel are my best are not actually the works I'm always proudest of. The works I love the most are not actually my best. So here we go:

The work I think I've written that is my best: The Ice Plague (particularly books 2 & 3)

The work I've written that I'm proudest of: The Golden Age that Never Was

The work I've written that I love the most: Falling Falling Stars

It was hard to narrow this down because it's also changed over time and I expect it to change in the future as well. In the past for example, I would have said that Inmates was probably my best work. Or that I was proudest of Stuck on the Puzzle. So I definitely don't think this is static!

[obae-me]

Random Sibling Headcanons

I'm a wee bit sick, which is why I've put my more serious projects on a very short pause. That being said I still feel the need to write something, so why not get some ideas out in the form of little fun ideas? Featuring colored names this time because it's fun for my brain.

These are just some little headcanons I like to think the brothers have done, since I love thinking of their sibling/ at-home relationships with each other.

In the picture of Lucifer's office, he seems to have stairs heading up to a second-story loft of some sort. I've always imagined he has a "Pride" wall somewhere up there filled with memorabilia of his brother's greatest or proudest achievements. There's some photos, art pieces, awards his siblings gave up on keeping, etc. His brothers know about it but hate it, so they all never speak of it.

Mammon and Levi once both badly injured their hands, trying to outdo each other high-fiving. You know where you try to get that perfect smack and hurt the other person's palm? Yeah, like that. They whiffed it on the first try and had to do it again and just couldn't stop after that.

Belphie usually puts small portions of his dirty clothes into his brother's hampers so they can clean his clothes for him without them realizing. It drives them all wild having to sort it out each time, and Belphie thrives off of it.

One of Satan's favorite pranks was to quickly run around the whole house and use up every hot water source he can while Lucifer was taking a shower so his water turns ice cold while the eldest is still in it. It got to the point where Lucifer is actually fine taking cold showers now.

If a bunch of them are in the same room and one of them gets a call from Lucifer, the others will suddenly try to sound like something horrible is going on, more often than not trying to incriminate the person who picked up the phone, blaming them for some false scenario that never happened.

If Belphie gets woken up too many times in the same day, he'll find ways to wake his siblings up in the middle of the night. Once he managed to get into all their phones and set annoyingly loud alarms, another night he cursed the piano in the music room to play until morning. Now the brothers have an unspoken rule not to wake their youngest sibling up more than four times a day.

Asmo likes to barge into his siblings' rooms sometimes unannounced with his D.D.D. while he's live on Devilgram or Deviltube. He loves to catch his brother's doing something stupid, it's hilarious. Sometimes he's not even live, he's just recording so he can keep videos to laugh over later.

They trade chores often, much to Lucifer's frustration, but everyone has some chores they absolutely can't stand. They've even somehow come up with a bartering system of sorts. Laundry = 1 other chore like dusting, but something like Dishes = 2 chores like taking on laundry and vacuuming.

None of them have ever missed one of Beel's games. They always show up and sit in the same spots so Beel never has to look around for them in the crowd. Lucifer brings the bag of supplies and snacks should his siblings need it. Because they always end up complaining about something by the end of the night. Mammon always brings his megaphone that almost always gets in him trouble every time. Levi gives his brothers all glowsticks. Satan always secretly has tricks up his sleeve to use against the opposing team should any of them come close to harming Beel (although that's nearly impossible, but he has them as a precaution). Asmo made everyone the most beautiful signs to hold. And Belphie brings everyone blankets since it can get chilly in the stands. He also brings a big lunchbox of snacks for Beel to eat right after the game even though they always go out to eat right after.

Lucifer, Mammon, and Levi as the three eldest are used to giving their younger siblings things they no longer need. The younger four have plenty of hand-me-downs but more often then not, they don't really mind. Lucifer gives out anything he's not overtly a fan of which can be anything from books to cologne to jewelry. Everyone has a few old things of his. Mammon gives out a bunch of clothes quite frequently. Despite his greed, his room can only hold so much, and so he usually goes through a semi-regular purge. Anything his brothers don't grab he sells. Levi gives out old electronics since he upgrades to the newest stuff as soon as he can. Because of this, Satan owns a pair of cat-ear headphones.

On a trip to the human world once, Asmo bought Belphie one of those electronic toothbrushes that play a song in your head while you brush your teeth so the youngest no longer falls asleep during brushing. Yes, it was a Brittany Spears one. (Does this date me? Maybe. Do they even make those anymore?)

Mammon and Asmo have both sat Beel down and tried to give him a basic course on recognizing flirting to keep their younger brother from being so totally oblivious, but no matter how many times they try, he never notices. However, now if Beel is ever given a random phone number, he knows to take it to either of those two to sort it out for him.

Once, for Belphie's birthday he received the ugliest quilt made from little squares from his brother's t-shirts, pillowcases, robes, etc. They all worked together to sew it up and it's very, very obvious who did what parts. Belphie says he can't stand the awful thing but sleeps with it every night.

[creedslove]

MEANT TO BE ❤️‍🔥

No outbreak!Joel Miller x f!reader

Summary: You and Joel seemed you were meant to be, but he broke your heart thinking he was doing you a favor. You're back in town and Tommy ends up inviting you to his brother's birthday party

(I don't know if this will be a series or not, but enjoy it ❤️)

Warnings: screwed up timeline (no outbreak but the story takes place nowadays, Joel's in his mid/late forties, Sarah is in her late teens/early twenties), age gap (reader is in her mid/late 20s because well, she's me), angst, hurt, breakups, broken hearts, two idiots in love, fluff

A/N: I don't know besties, this is just a very specific scenario that got stuck with me for DAYS because all I do is daydream I'm Joel's housewife and well, I had to write it down eventually because just imagining it wasn't enough I had to share. Also, this is extremely self-inserted so I'm sorry if you guys don't like it but I deserve to be happy with Joel 😭

3.2k words

"So, you're breaking up with me Joel? Is that it?" You asked him, pacing the living room, trying to hold back your tears and not let the anxiety get the best of you just yet, and instead, look at the situation with a rational attitude. Joel couldn't possibly be breaking up with you, not after the time you spent together, - a short one, you had to admit, but it was enough to see you two were meant to be together. Everyone seemed to agree. His brother was nothing but nice and sweet to you, sometimes even protective of you, as if you were his sibling and not Joel, his daughter was thrilled to see her dad in a relationship after a lifetime of loneliness, even if you didn't see each other very often, only when Sarah was home from her school breaks, always making Joel the proudest dad to see her impeccable grades, a clear reflection of the scholarship she got, she was always so friendly, treating well the woman his dad loved, because she knew he deserved to be happy.

And your family? They really liked Joel too. Your parents admired him for being so hardworking and successful in his business, the way he managed to raise a daughter by himself and your grandmother simply loved Joel. She was a supporter of your relationship from the beginning, always telling you to ignore any mean comments you might get just because he was older than you or anything like that, she just loved to see how good Joel was to you, how happy he made you and what a gentleman he was whenever he visited your family, despite being nervous and blushing slightly like a young boy. And for that, your grandma always baked him cookies or cakes, just a small, sweet way to thank him for being so good to you.

So it came as a shock, when he broke up with you.

"Yes, Y/N I'm breaking up with you" he said simply and looked down, his heart clenched and he felt so upset to be letting you go, but he knew he had to, you had been offered a great job, a great opportunity, high salary and you couldn't just stay with him, living a small town housewife life, you had so much potential, you were so pretty and full of life, Joel didn't want to trap you there, you deserved better than that, you deserved to be successful and free, and not with an old guy like him, Joel didn't have the same education you did and he felt bad about it, he would never want to embarrass you because of it.

"You and I are never gonna work, we had our fun, it was nice, but you want to live your life and I've already loved through all that. I've been married and I'm not marrying you, Y/N. You want kids and I don't want any more kids, we're incompatible, can't you see that?" He said "just take your job and go live your life, think of us as an adventure and nothing else…"

You swallowed and took one step forward, grabbing his shirt and making him look at you "w-was I just an adventure to you?" You needed to know the truth, it didn't feel like just an adventure to you at least, it felt like true love, intense and real. You thought Joel was the real deal, you thought that maybe you found each other and you would stay together, of course the opportunity you received was good, but you were ready to give it all up. You'd never thought of your life together as something bad, you liked the simple, you liked the calm quiet evenings with Joel, you liked waiting for him with dinner ready after a long day of work, and all that because you loved Joel and up until then you assumed he loved you too. He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, his hand running through his hair as he sighed

"Yes, you were an adventure, you were a hot young girl giving me your attention and your body, I enjoyed it a lot at first, but now it's just getting old" he sighed, hating himself for breaking your heart, but he also knew that was the only way you would leave him behind and start living your life. He was lying, he would marry you, he had actually already bought a ring, a very simple one though, he wished he could buy you something better, but he had gone with the cheapest option and now he felt ashamed of it.

"Just… don't make this too hard on the two of us, leave and take the job, you will be happier that way" Joel turned his back at you and waited until he heard you slamming the door. He sighed and tried blinking back his tears, he hated to seem weak and vulnerable around whoever it was.

•••

Eight months had passed ever since you broke up with Joel, or rather Joel broke up with you. Eight months you'd left Austin behind and moved to a bigger city, got into a better-paid job and made more money. Eight months you were earning well but you were feeling miserable, because you were away from your family, your friends and the man you loved, even if he didn't love you back, even if you were nothing but an adventure to him, you still missed him everyday.

It wasn't just the sex - although that party took a heavy toll on you, as it was so intense, good and hot. You had never been fucked properly until Joel Miller fucked you, that was for sure. But you missed the everyday with him. The domesticity with him, the evenings spent together, the lazy weekends you would stay in his bed, just cuddling, sleeping, fucking and doing it all over again. You missed how his big, rough hands would hold you at night, how you would snuggle closer looking for his warmth, or how you'd play with his hair as Joel rested his head on your lap whenever he watched some cheesy action movie.

Yes, the money was good, you couldn't deny it was good being able to pay for your expenses and also save money and also spoil yourself to clothes, shoes, restaurants and anything else really, that part was great, but you would be lying if you said you wouldn't trade that for a happy life with Joel in a heartbeat; you hated to be still in love with him, he didn't deserve your love, you knew that. He had treated you just like an adventure, like an ordinary affair he could enjoy as he pleased and then discard you once he got tired of it. Still, it puzzled you how genuine he seemed, how caring and lovely he was towards you, how he actually made you believe he loved you. You felt cheated, tricked, and embarrassed to think you were so easy to fool like Joel had done to you.

One of the perks of your job, was able to take a few short trips to your hometown every couple of months, it was good to revisit your family, especially after your grandmother fell ill and you felt the need to see her as much as you could, but with those trips back to town always brought your fear of encountering Joel.

You didn't know how you'd react to seeing him again, maybe you would feel emotional? Or sad? Would your heart still beat fast? Probably a mix of those all.

You shook your head wanting to push those thoughts aside and got ready to enter the clothes store downtown when you heard someone calling your name. You knew that voice, but thought maybe you were just confused, but still, you turned around and saw as a smiley Tommy Miller walked towards you

"Y/N hey… you look great! Nice seeing you?" He was definitely the friendly brother.

"Hey Tommy, I missed you. How've you been?"

"Good.." he placed his hand on his hips - very similar to his brother - and the two of you made some small talk, catching up on things as you hadn't seen each other in nearly a year. "So listen… it's Joel's birthday today, I don't know if you remember" you nodded with a sad smile "and well, I'm throwing him a party tonight, maybe you should show up, I know he was a dick to you, but I'm sure he didn't mean it, he misses you a lot" you bit your lips and shrugged softly, and Tommy didn't need to say anything else. He just hugged you goodbye and told you again how nice it was to see you.

•••

"You did what?" Joel asked with annoyance and shock as his brother stood in his kitchen, a bottle of beer in hand as he placed the plastic bag with a few things for Joel's party that night. Tommy blew the air out of his mouth and scratched the back of his neck "what? You like her, I mean, no, you love her, Joel, so I thought you'd appreciate it if she showed up, it would be like a nice present to you after all" he shrugged simply as it made perfect sense in his mind. Joel, on the other hand, couldn't believe how stupid his brother was. How could he simply invite you as if nothing had gone on between the two of you.

"First you simply plan a party without even asking me, inviting a bunch of people I don't even know-"

"Because you have no friends…" Tommy interrupted and it made Joel's blood boil, he gritted his teeth and took a deep breath

"What I am saying is that I didn't want a party and now I will have to face a party I didn't want and possibly with the presence of a girl whose heart I broke and-"

"You broke her heart because you are a moron" Tommy shrugged again and folded his arms "you are a real big fat moron who can't see shit even if it's hanging in front of you! You love her and she loves you, and don't give me that pathetic talk about you not wanting to trap her because I know you bought her a fucking ring, Joel! A ring! And if you had proposed she'd be here, either planning the things for your wedding or you'd be already married, and don't start with the shitty baby talk either because you practically drool when you see her holding a kid, I'm sure if she asked you'd be on your second Miller kid right now!" Tommy told his brother, running out of patience at how stubborn his older brother was "so yeah, I invited Y/N and I doubt she'll come because you are a dick and you don't deserve her attention, in fact you don't even deserve this party, I was just trying to do something nice for you, so I'm sorry I'm such a terrible brother" Tommy groaned and went upstairs.

Joel didn't want to admit it, but he did spend the whole day checking his phone every five minutes to see if he'd get any messages from you. Joel was a man to receive and give phone calls, he didn't like texting, but most people insisted on doing that so he had to surrender, even his daughter would rather text than call, which Joel hated but he had to do it eventually. On your birthday, Joel spent the whole day battling if he should text you or not, on one hand he didn't want to simply pretend he had forgotten about your special day; on the other hand he didn't want to make things weird between the two of you, well, more like, more weird. What was he supposed to say?

"Hey babe, happy birthday 🎈 I know I said you were just an adventure but I miss you"

No, that'd be too awkward, so eventually he went to bed that day and ended up not texting you.

Another thing Joel didn't also want to admit was how he had showered, applied some cologne and put on the flannel shirt you always told him looked good in him before the party started. Fortunately, his argument with Tommy didn't change any of his plans and in the evening people started to arrive. Joel smiled politely, made some small talk, thanked people for the gifts but he kept glancing at the door frequently, always in hopes to see you walking in. He felt so stupid for even expecting that, so he tried focusing on his party. He saw the girls his brother had invited but didn't care about any of them; they all chatted and giggled and Joel watched it from afar as if he were an outsider at his own birthday party. Joel grabbed a beer and walked outside, sitting by the front steps and watched as the hours passed by and people eventually began leaving the party. He just enjoyed his own presence, knowing you wouldn't come, clearly you'd never come again and he had to face that, at the same time he silently thought of what his life had been like and what was left for him to do in the future, when a voice snapped him out of his thoughts.

"Joel?" You called him, hesitantly at first, as you swallowed and looked around, it was kind of crazy to show up at your ex's birthday party after he dumped you in a cruel way like he did, but you also felt like you had to do it, ever since Tommy had invited you, something in your heart begged and screamed for you to go see Joel even if it was the last time.

When he saw you, his eyes widened, he didn't trust them at first thinking it was just a trick of his longing imagination, but as you walked towards him, he could see you were real. And you looked gorgeous, making that fool old man's heart beat fast.

"Darlin'..." He said but you placed your index finger gently against his lips, the way his beard tickled you brought a warmth within and you felt like you could melt at that moment.

"I'm here just to wish you a happy birthday" you said with a sad smile and handed him a bag. Joel frowned softly, clueless to what it was but a soft smile appeared on his face as he saw it was his watch. He had forgotten about it as it had been so long since the last time he saw it.

"Remember your watch stopped working after we jumped in the pool on the last fourth of July we spent together? I had it fixed but then we bro-" you interrupted yourself "anyway, I know it's been a while but it's yours"

"Thank you darlin' I don't even know what to say… it's already a gift you're here tonight" Joel could swear he was blushing and that embarrassed him, he was a grown man and shouldn't be acting like that, but still, there he was.

"Did you get the cake?" You questioned him curiously and only then Joel noticed you had a second bag in hands

"I forgot" he rubbed the back of his neck and you laughed softly, that was just so Joel it felt kind of stupid.

"So this is yours too…" you offered him the second to which he grabbed it even more puzzled. Two presents? Joel Miller was a simple man, and quite shy, he didn't know how to act properly when he was given gifts, let alone two in a row and especially when it came from you.

It was his turn to laugh when he found a box with cupcakes inside. He raised his eyes from them and smiled at you, taking you by the hand with no warning and sitting you next to him, on the front step.

He helped himself to one and insisted for you to take another, and even if you should have just wished him a happy birthday and driven back home, you obliged and took a small bite of yours, and that cupcake was indeed really good.

After the cupcakes were long gone, you and Joel still caught up on everything: he told you about his job and you told him about yours; you asked him about Sarah and he asked you about your grandmother's health, just random, ordinary things like it should be between two people who once knew everything about each other and now spent long enough apart to step on eggshells around each other. Though the party had pretty much ended, Tommy's playlist was still at full steam inside the house and when Joel recognized that guitar strumming he smiled, the lyrics coming back to him as it took him back to one of his favorite moments with you.

"Listen, it's our song"

"What?" You frowned softly "our song? What do you mean?" You questioned curiously not exactly knowing where he wanted to get.

"Californication, it's our song" he blushed softly and felt upset to see that maybe you didn't remember the summer night you spent listening to music sitting in the back of his truck, and how you two sang it together. Maybe that wasn't as special to you as it was to him, but at that night he'd felt so young, so full of life and hope. You finally nodded and closed your eyes, listening to it and thinking of the same sweet memory you and Joel shared.

"I just didn't know it was our song, Joel" you said amused and he shrugged, getting to his favorite part of the song and taking your hand in his, your eyes locked as his lips moved

"Marry me girl, be my fairy to the world, be my very own constellation"

He sang along, even if it wasn't a romantic song, that part was for you, it had always been for you. When he saw you sing that specific part of the song for the first time he knew he wanted to marry you, he wanted you to be his fairy to his world and be his very own constellation. It was cheesy, but he didn't care, he was just in love at the time, and he continued so.

You blushed and looked down, knowing it was time to go, but before you could get up, he squeezed your hand gently

"Do you want to get inside?" His eyes were full of hope, maybe and just maybe you could say yes and you could maybe pick up from where you left off but you shook your head "I'm sorry, I have to go Joel" you got up and ignored his sad eyes, even if they were your weakness, you two were finished and there was nothing you could do about it.

"Joel?" You called one last time and he got up, walking to you, still hopeful you'd give him any crumble of affection.

"Yeah?" His voice was a soft purr, the anticipation burning bright inside of him

"Happy birthday" you said and went to your car, leaving him standing there, his mind full of might-have-beens and his heart breaking as it did every time you walked away from him.

_____

A/N: don't yell at me besties, i've had this idea of joel being sure he would want to marry reader (me/us) while listening to this part of the song and Californication is a very delicate subject as I sang this song in a karaoke session at the mall yesterday in front of hundreds of people and I was so nervous at first but then I relaxed and had such a great time and it was amazing 😭 I know it's not a romantic song but I want those lyrics to be about joel and his beautiful wife 😭 I hope you've liked it besties ❤️

[whumpshaped]

a concept just rammed into my head and i will now share it with my fellow Ambac Rotators on this blog: beck and helle species(?) switch

beck as a (relatively) new vampire

helle as a vampire hunter

no idea where this is gonna go. i just had the sudden image of human!helle pinning down a vampire 🛐

good day anon. i finally have the tentative spoons to engage w the fantasy (that ive been meaning to write for FOREVER and ur ask served as a good reminder of my goals and aspirations thank u)

masterlist

vampire hunter beck

tw vampire whumpee, dehumanisation, pet whump

Beck had been overly cautious every time he went hunting. He had to be, as a stupid little runt without anyone to protect him.

He had crawled out of his grave and into the clutches of a woman he barely recognised, only to immediately be discarded once she realised he couldn't use magic. He had begged her to leave him alive at least, promising to stay out of her way and go 'hunt' on someone else's territory; not his proudest moment, but then again, he had little to be proud of lately.

He hunted as best as he could, picking off lone passerby and muffling their cries as he drank his fill, too frantic and hungry to really care about causing pain. Then he disappeared for days, sometimes weeks, terrified of drawing attention to himself. And the cycle would repeat.

Until one day, he slipped up and chose the wrong target.

Beck had never seen a hunter before, especially not so up close and personal — and now that they were straddling his waist and putting a stake to his heart, he decided he didn't fucking like them. He had his hands up on either side of his head without having to be told, completely still in an attempt to appease the hunter who had caught him.

"You're the runt," they stated, not even a hint of doubt in their voice, but Beck nodded anyway.

"Yes, sir," he breathed, very aware of the sharp point digging into his chest whenever he dared inhale.

The title wasn't a conscious choice, really. He'd had to talk his way out of quite a few confrontations before, and if there was one thing he'd learned throughout all of it, it was that manners never hurt.

The hunter looked amused, leaning down a little and inadvertently placing more of their weight on the stake. Beck tensed under them, squeezing his eyes shut in anticipation of his inevitable demise. "Sir? Have I gotten myself a polite little leech?"

"I can be very polite so long as I'm alive, sir," he said hastily, and they chuckled.

"Alive... as if. Don't flatter yourself. I've seen corpses that looked better than you."

Beck pressed himself even more against the ground. "You're right, sir," he squeaked. "You're right. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"Hey, listen." They clicked their tongue at him, like one would to get a pet's attention, and he reluctantly opened his eyes again. "I've got a deal for you."

"A... a deal?"

Was this common? He had nothing to compare this to. Were all hunters like this?

"Only because you're so well-behaved." They pressed down on the stake a little, as a gentle reminder for Beck to keep behaving, and he was suddenly very eager to nod along. "You see, runts are pretty rare. And regular vampires... they can't really be kept. It's a one and done deal, I come in, I stake them, I get my money."

That was simple enough. Terrifying, but simple. But also– "K-kept?"

"Kept," they repeated, grin widening. "Like a dog."

Beck swallowed. He had a feeling of where this was going, and he did not like the implications. "I... I see."

"And while I'm pretty successful, as far as hunters go... This is a dangerous job. I could use a buffer."

"No," he said timidly. "Please, I can't do anything, I can't– I can barely hunt, I'm starving half the time–"

"I could do with bait, too," they interrupted, shushing Beck when they saw him open his mouth to protest. "And of course, because I deal fairly, I'd let you have some blood in exchange. Can't have a pet without feeding it."

That... That made the offer sound much better, all of a sudden. He hadn't had anything to drink in at least a week, getting by on whatever dead animal he could find in the parks at night. Drinking from roadkill. His mouth was watering at the mere thought of human blood, even though the hunter hadn't yet specified what they'd be feeding him.

"Mmm, what is it? Interested?" they taunted, and Beck couldn't resist nodding a little. He wanted someone to protect him so badly; apparently even if they were a hunter.

"What... what do I need to do, sir?" he asked as respectfully as he possibly could, already wincing when the hunter pulled out a collar from their coat pocket and threw it into his hand.

"First things first, put that on. We'll discuss the rest on the way home."

~

taglist: @whumpsday @the-scrapegoat @hidden-dreamland @delicateprincepaper @whumppmuhw @florissimps @nicolepascaline @oliversrarebooks @thecyrulik @pirefyrelight @there-will-always-be-blood @pigeonwhumps @echo-goes-mmm @whumpycries @morning-star-whump @d-cs @watermelons-dont-grow-on-trees @tauntedoctopuses @blueyellow8green @typewrittenfangs @whumpsoda @steh-lar-uh-nuhs @auroragehenna @whumpedydump

[writergirl2011]

I got tagged by @musing-and-music!! Thanks!! 😊 So here goes...

Story I'm proudest of...

Argh. That would be so unfair to the other stories I've written. But if I had to choose, it would be the baseball story, Diamond in the Rough simply because I always wanted to write about baseball and finally found the perfect pairing for it! Not to mention how much research went into the story.

Your story that's gotten the most love online...

Funny that this came up because this just overtook the baseball story for most hits--though to be honest, I probably would've put this anyway given that it actually got several mentions on Twitter during the 2022 J/B fic exchange: you who know what love is (lol, musing-and-music, you tagged me in this and our regency stories are the most popular!!)

Tease a current WIP or idea that you're currently working on...

Speaking of fic exchanges, I just started working on my very short story for the 2024 J/B fic exchange. So sorry, can't...oh, what the heck. Heeeeeere's...a little bit from the next story in the "A Girl for All Seasons" series!!

JAIME: I don’t know whether I’m going to kiss you or kill you next time I see you

TYRION: ahhh I see you talked to ros

JAIME: you didn’t think she’d keep that to herself did you

TYRION: guess not

TYRION: it was for your own good

TYRION: not to mention mine because if I had to listen to you moaning about your blue balls one more minute I was going to smother you in your sleep

TYRION: though now that I think about it that would’ve cured yoru problem too

Your top 3 fandoms...

I only have two. A Song of Ice and Fire and Bridgerton at the moment.

Your top three ships...

Jaime x Brienne, Eloise x Cressida (shut up) and I guess that's really it. If I had to have a third, it would probably be Sansa x Margaery since I've paired them off in some of my fics, but they're not the main focus of my stories and I don't write for them specifically.

Rec someone else's fic...

Yikes, there are far too many I want to rec, but I'm going with the story I received in this year's smut swap because I just love it to death: BT, Phone Home by @angelowl-fics. Brienne as an alien!!!! Jaime as her wannabe boy toy!!!! If you haven't read this already--go read it!!!!

Pick one!

Fluff or Angst: I don't think I write things that are especially fluffy. At the same time, I don't think my fics are super angsty for the most part. Dramatic at times? Sure, but angst--the part that really, really hurts--not so much. But I'll put angst because I do drift in that direction more often than fluff. Where's the "snark" option? That's definitely my speed.

Oneshots or longfics: 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Was this even a question???????

Canon compliance or canon divergence: I think it depends on the canon. For example, I'm not great at writing canon fic for J/B, so I stick with mod AUs. I was better at writing canon fic in other fandoms, though. So I'd say that for now, canon divergence. But I'll read both.

AO3 or ff.net: I somehow completely missed the ff.net experience. AO3 all the way.

[zaxal]

Self-rec time! What are your favorite five fics that you've written and why? After replying to this ask, feel free to tag five other writers to spread the love. 💗

thanks for the tag @ripeteeth !!! i've been sitting on this for a few days because i have not had the fortitude to say nice things about myself or my writing without also being incredibly critical, but i think we're there today.

all of these are the ones that i remember being the most fun to write, the most fun to reread, and the ones i'm proudest of :}

Breaking But Not Yet Broken - Psych, Shassie, M, ~8.1k, 2012

After being held captive and hurt, Carlton's relationship with Shawn starts getting complicated.

this was my first ever whump fic, and it was so fun to write that i have simply never stopped writing whump since lol. like, yes, technically this is me projecting on lassie for 8k words, but it is also an exploration of the loneliness of healing after trauma (even when someone went through the same traumatic event as you!) and allowing yourself to Be vulnerable when you already feel that all your defensive layers have been forcibly removed from you.

both shawn and lassiter are characters with a ton of these defenses, and they try to default back to them or find comfort in them (with mixed amounts of success) but even when they aren't working (and they can recognize that they aren't working), they can't simply Stop their bullshit.

Mistakes We Never Made (Until Today) - Psych, Shassie, E, ~3.6k, 2015

Things pick up from where they started. His marriage is on its last legs, and Shawn Spencer comes waltzing back into his life.

so this is a post-canon fic where happily-ever-after fails, the canon relationships break up (and it IS the men's fault to be clear; juliet and marlowe have never done anything wrong in their lives--), and these two decide to use each other to self destruct.

and i love it kdsjfksd. look. i love fluffy shassie. i love romantic shassie. i love slow burn shassie. but they are both capable of being such unrepentant assholes, and writing them being their worst selves is so much fun. an extreme vibe of 'bitter exes but they just started dating.'

everything lost - Good Omens (TV), Aziraphale/Crowley, Gabriel/Aziraphale (One-Sided, Abusive), E, ~33k, 2023

For two-thousand years, Aziraphale was sexually harassed and assaulted by the Director of Heavenly Operations. Years after Aziraphale and Crowley break free from Heaven and Hell entirely, Gabriel shows up on Aziraphale's front step with no clothes, no memories, no divine powers, and an inexplicable, unshakeable attachment to Aziraphale. Old and new trauma alike plague Aziraphale as he struggles to get rid of Gabriel without bringing the wrath of Heaven down on him and Crowley both.

i saw the GOs2 trailer and lost my mind. this plot bunny sprung forth from my mind fully formed like athena. she was written and published before the season dropped because i felt in my heart that gabriel would get a face-turn and people would get weird about dark!gabriel fics, and because i wanted it to be irrefutable that i knew nothing about the season before writing.

which didn't need to be a thing i was worried about at all lol. but i had a trailer, a poster, a feather duster, and a dream, and i made it work.

aziraphale whump, my beloved. love using aziraphale's kindness, pragmatism, and manners to keep him locked in a deeply unpleasant situation that's slowly whittling away at his nerves and sanity.

i also really love putting crowley in an outsider position. aziraphale hasn't told him what happened; it's supposed to be over. when crowley wakes up and starts to help him, the presumption is that they'll get this settled and then never see gabriel again, so what point is there in bringing up old hurt? i love writing crowley and aziraphale as a Team, but they spent 6k years pretending they aren't, and i like thinking about the residual habits that they're gonna have to work to get rid of.

Ash and Blood - Psych, Shassie, E, ~61k, 2015

A string of identical murders leads Lassiter down a dark and treacherous path.

in 2012 @inouken asked me to write a lassie vampire fic and i emerged three years later with a novel. like a normal person!

this is really long lassie whump with some shawn whump thrown in for spice. it could count as case fic, if you're good with knowing who the killer is in the first 5 chapters.

because this is one of zax's first wordcount monstrosities, i had a lot more room to play around with characters. shawn and lassiter's relationship develops fast, but i had more room for them to become serious about each other instead of it being right away immediately (even tho those feelings were already there). i played around with some OCs and tested them against the main ship. my biggest regret is not doing more with gus and juliet, but the bits of them that are in here really lead towards the strong relationships they have with their respective partners and are v in character and i'm proud of them.

but OVERALL i really love this fic. i feel like there's a good balance to psych humor vs being in lassiter's head (when babygirl is naturally grim and grumpy when he's Not dealing with suddenly dying and becoming a vampire), relationship fluff vs people dying and figuring out how to fight back, and developing an understanding of the OCs i introduced (feds and santa barbara vampires) and how they fit into finding/taking care of The Killer.

Lambs To The Slaughter - Good Omens (Book/TV), Aziraphale/Crowley, Lucifer/Aziraphale, E, ~142k WIP, 2019 - Present

An angel and a demon dance along the knife's edge of destruction together in an eternal waltz. The demon who had been Aziraphale and the angel who would be Crowley answer to powerful forces that care not for the individual cogs in their celestial machines. This will be their undoing.

twirling my hair, so this is lambs, my reverse omens fic where aziraphale is the sheep demon azram and crowley is the star-spinner seraph corvai. it's my pride and joy and wouldn't exist without @transfemmbeatrice for brainstorming, obsessing with me for YEARS, writing large portions of the middle-end and end with me, and making corvai and azram Real with me.

i go into many AUs with the mindset that i want to push my faves off script. i want them to still be recognizable as themselves, but i wanna see just how far i can twist them around the core of Who They Are.

and i went into lambs with the idea that i wanted azram to be someone terrible but not irredeemable. the idea that he would be simply 'evil' and written off as such didn't appeal to me. i wanted to ask Why a character like aziraphale (a blended form of book and tv; this is why god uses they/them pronouns to set them apart from both) would become harsh, cruel, possessive, sadistic, beyond just Falling and just Being that way after. and how to balance that with the softer parts of who aziraphale is (as said earlier in the bit about everything lost: kind, despite everything, and so capable of loving both crowley, humanity, and earth to his own detriment).

corvai is, similar to aziraphale, a good angel. she is what a good angel should be. unlike aziraphale, corvai is a punk with authority issues and a lot of anger at heaven, at god, and at themself. trade in canon crowley's anxiety for constantly simmering anger and a lack of experience dealing with demons other than azram that means corvai lacks crowley's defensive layers of cool. he's very open and earnest, even when he knows it's a quick way to getting hurt.

i originally wanted there to be some question about whether corvai was secretly raphael but i added the tag to clarify later that they're not. azram will take his time learning this, because azram is an idiot even though corvai, unlike the rest of the seraphim, cannot heal, and raphael is, famously, the healer.

i could keep going but i'm going to cut it off there bc this post is long enough and our power blinked so i'm scared if it'll even post and if you read this far, congrats! i'm sorry!

tagging: @transfemmbeatrice @anethara @andithil @alivingsaint @christocentricqueer

[eridanidreams]

For the fic writing asks:

36. Which fic are you proudest of?

41. Who’s your favorite character you’ve written?

72. What’s your favorite writing compliment you’ve received?

And only if you fancy it:

34. How much of your personal life/experience do you include in your fics?

36. Which fic are you proudest of?

That's a tough one, but I think in the end it's a short Deus Ex genfic called Small Kindnesses: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20010490

It started off as an experimentation with personal style and ended up being something that keeps giving people warm hugs when they need it.

41. Who’s your favorite character you’ve written?

Author: nervously eyes the cast of characters in her head, all staring at her Well, um, obviously you are all near and dear to my heart, except the ones who aren't...

Violette: hrmphs

MacReady: Yeah, get on with it, mate.

Lillian: yawns, checking a slate

Author: ...but if I had to pick just one of you as my favorite... whines This is really hard!

Cora: No it's not! You know the answer already! Me! *stands next to Author, hands on hips, glaring down the rest of the characters in Author's headspace.

Author: gestures helplessly at the 12-year-old force of nature Her. Definitely her.

72. What’s your favorite writing compliment you’ve received?

That one I can't point to a single comment, but I can point to a single category of comment. That I made you, the reader, feel. That it was like a warm hug. That I tore your heart out. That you wanted to kill a character. That I reached into your soul and evoked a feeling. That's the absolute best. Don't get me wrong, I love when people call out bits that work especially well for them, but for me, the best compliments are "My teeth are full of cavities." "This made my heart melt." "This made me laugh so hard." (Comedy is hard!)

Because that's what I want to do. I want to reach out and pull out some emotions.

And only if you fancy it:

34. How much of your personal life/experience do you include in your fics?

Probably too much! laughing I've said before, Cait is a love letter to all the people who grew up in less-than-ideal circumstances, who were made to feel like freaks or weirdos or outcasts or aliens, abused and neglected, hurt over and over and still got back up on our hind legs and kept going. And for that matter, so's my Deus Ex OC Sloane. (My OCs rarely have loving birth families; there's a reason for that.)

The story of people who feel like they're on the wrong side of human, who don't think they can be loved, or deserve to be loved, or maybe even don't quite know how to love... and they find out they're wrong, that they're loved and lovable and capable of loving? That's my story. And I think it's a powerful one, and a very human one.

My life/experience shows up in smaller ways, too. I think you were the one to mention the gun safety bit in the Cora snippet I posted earlier; that came directly out of my childhood. I'm a programmer IRL, and that knowledge and expertise sneaks through in some ways, too. I am the sum of my experiences, and I mine it all for my art.

[fabdante]

omgomgomg it's too hard to choose but

The One Were Kat Gets To Yell At Vergil (DmC)

The Mai/Jet dream captivated me (Atla/Mai and Jet)

these two immediately caught my attention!!

Also, +bonus wildcard because meta WIPs is genius why didn't I think of that!!!

Essay no one asked for on spiderverse and grief mostly because I'm obsessed with the black out kingpin causes

(you certainly know much more about this topic than i do but I'm curious regardless lmao)

hello my beloved friend!! thank you for sending this ask with so many wips this delights me dfghjk i will go through them one by one!! (link to the WIP game here!)

I'll try to keep the excerpts short since there's three of them even if I'm very excited about all three of these dfghjk

The One Where Kat Gets To Yell At Vergil (DmC)

Ok so this one is a rework of an old wip. It's not an edited version it's just like a whole new version because I liked the fic and wanted to do it again sdfghj. I love post game Verat, the emotions and drama are so high with those two.

I wanted to share a bit of the part that I started this fic for but I cut out the lines I specifically wrote it for mostly because I was trying to find a nice end point of the excerpt fghjk so here you go:

“I spent the last five years worried all I ever was to you was useful,” she says, “and then you stand there at the end of the world and you call me useful.” He’s taking up too much space to look at her like he does, small and sorry. Because he knows what he’s done is unforgivable. But he doesn’t waver, Vergil’s gaze always on her and unmoving. And Kat…Kat laughs. Bitter and miserable, fixated on one corner of the room before looking at him. Wild. Angry. Hurt. It almost makes him flinch, the weight of the accusations in her gaze. “I almost died for you,” she says. “I was ready to let myself get shot for your plan because I thought it was for the best. That’s what we all thought! People are dead for you that I cared about! That I knew and cared about and they’re just dead now.” He swallows. “But I didn’t die, I get to live and know that all of them fucking died so you could try and become god king. Because of course Vergil DiAngelo wants to be king. Freeing mankind isn’t enough for him!”

The Mai/Jet dream captivated me (ATLA/Mai and Jet)

So I had this dream like last year unprompted about Jet and Mai. I don't even remember the context anymore dfghjkl I can't recall if it was within a Zutara dream I was having or another dream I was having or if I'd dreamed up the whole plot? No idea, can't remember.

What I do know is it caused me to write this whole fan fic around the concept because I am in love with them this is a slept on dynamic I think sadfghjk here's an excerpt from the beginning which gives some backstory:

Mai think’s she handles the three random strange Earth Kingdom kids who bust through her bedroom door in ill-fitting work uniforms pretty well. She asks, expression unchanging, “and who are you supposed to be?” And the tallest, proudest, with a smug grin on his face and down turned brows takes a step closer, then two as he reveals a knife. Mai immediately considers four separate ways she can disarm him, and does not move her eyes from him. He says to her, “we’re the Freedom Fighters, and we’re here to kidnap you.” “Oh thank Agni.” It’s…clearly not the response they expected.

Essay no one asked for on spiderverse and grief mostly because i'm obsessed with the black out kingpin causes

I'm OBSESSED with Kingpins design from Spiderverse like it's just SO SMART ok like its BRILLIANT like I love grief narratives we know that we know that on fabdante.tumblr.com we love a grief narrative and my favorite thing about Spiderverse is this focus on the Spiderman story as a grief narrative which it always has been but sometimes that grief narrative can get a bit lost where as in Spiderverse it's sort of the center of it the center of it is grief and the pain of that grief and what we do with that grief.

This essay was one I was going to kind of ignore for a while, ngl, but then I saw someone read Miguels whole thing from the second movie as like capitalist? Which I mean who am I to argue how one reads the story, if that's how you read the story then I fully support ones right to read Spiderverse as a narrative on capitalism like I mean that's a fair read.

However it refilled my interest in analyzing Spiderverse as a grief narrative asdfghj because look I love a grief narrative I love a grief narrative and Spiderverse is such a good grief narrative. Here's an excerpt (also apologies it's the least polished thing here because I mostly started it to get out these thoughts dfghjk):

Every time Spiderverse Kingpin enters the frame we are consumed by him. Now, this is typical of his character design across media. But in Spiderverse, this is amplified by the choice to dress him in black. He not only takes up large portions of the screen or even all of it at times, you cannot see past him. He’s even lost in the black, a small head and hands and peaks of the white of his shirt just surrounded by the blackness of his suit. He’s dressed for a funeral. Formal, black clothes, black tie, clean and pressed. And this is what’s so brilliant about it because every time we see Kingpin, we are not only seeing him but we are confronted by his grief. We are forced to see it. And he exists within it, drowns within it, is consumed by it.

I really need to get back to this essay I feel very strongly about Kingpins design in Spiderverse and Spiderverse as a grief narrative dfghjkl

Thank you again my friend I hope you enjoy these!!

[eirianerisdar]

Don't have an AO3 account, so I'm going to flail about Icarus here --- my gosh, this chapter just came in and hit me in the stomach like a tennis ball. I genuinely love how you describe things, I can see them so clearly in my head. Like this:

'Above them, Carlos and Charles catch each other’s hands and brace the flats of their racing boots together, bringing their knees into their chests as their wings flare to catch the air; their descent turns into a controlled, but terrifyingly fast horizontal spin. Charles’s giggle rings across the paddock, mixed with Carlos’s dolphin-like cackle.'

This is so good! You captured the carefree recklessness so well!

And Lando --- bless his heart, he's doing his best, and that's all that can be asked, isn't it?

Those scenes with Jos were scary, and I don't get scared when I'm reading that easy. Someone get that man out of here, he's not helping anyone.

Poor Dan --- it's going to get worse, isn't it? At least he got to spend some time with Max.

I'm going to reread this when I'm off work, this was an awesome update!

Thank you for your love for Icarus! I know this is a terribly late reply to your ask but I finally have a little time (super typhoon's hitting my city tomorrow so I won't have to work, hurrah to that, here's to hoping my windows don't explode) so I'm getting to replies now!

As you can probably tell by now, I have a soft spot for Charlos. Ferrari soldiers who have learned to only trust in each other. Their journey of wings and trimming and Ferrari expectations is different to that of Daniel, but it's no less important.

I'm about 4400 words into the newest chapter of Icarus, covering Bahrain 2022, so as you might expect, Charlos feature prominently. I'm can't wait to share it with everyone. Fans of Charlos hurt/comfort, fluff, and whump might like this one.

Thank you so much for pointing out how scary Jos is. I think I was proudest of the writing in his section out of the whole chapter. One thing I wanted to make sure to convey is how every word and action of his is poison and gaslighting. From the moment Max turns up Jos belittles anything that makes Max Max and praises an idea of him, not Max himself.

Another thing I wanted to show was how Jos uses touch as a weapon (something I am unfortunately familiar with because of my parents). I wanted to remind the reader that each time Jos touches Max there is an intent to control. When he grabs Max's elbow to look at his wing he is taking away Max's autonomy for his wings like Jos forced him to trim his wings for the first time at eighteen. When he squeezes Max's arm at the entrance to the operating theatre he is reminding Max that Max has to trim, because Jos wants him to. When Jos gets mad at Max in the car about Daniel he grabs him by his most vulnerable part both mentally and physically - his newly trimmed wings. It says several things at once: that Max is only of value to Jos with his wings mutilated; that Jos can hurt Max at any time; and that any weakness, over trimmed wings or friends, will not be tolerated. It is sick sort of power play and it is very, very effective.

Anyway, I'm popping off tumblr to write some more. I hope to post the next chapter tomorrow.

[orchideous-nox]

18, 25, 27, 28, 36, 38, 49, 55, 68, 72, 74 and 79 for the fan fiction writing asks < 3

Ooooh boy okay this is gonna be a long one!

18 - Do you enjoy research? Which fic of yours required the most research?

I think it depends on the topic, I enjoyed research for the Wolfstar cowboy fic like looking at difference places in the States to find a setting and getting to know American equestrian terms as a Brit. It was very different for the pirate Wolfstar fic though because that was a lot of research about ships at the time and names for different sails and the layout and jobs on a ship and laws at the rough time its set.

25 - What’s your favorite part of the writing process (worldbuilding, brainstorming/outlining, writing, editing, etc)?

Right away, definitely not editing. Hate it with a burning passion. I love writing but I can find it a bit stressful at times but I love coming up with the initial concept. I'm not much of a planner though so anything more than a paragraph gets boring for me.

27 - What area of writing do you feel strongest in?

So fun fact, I'm terrible as assessing my own strengths. Editing is not my strong point though I can tell you that, I notoriously have one typo left in every fic/chapter somehow when I post it. Writing description can be a bit boring but I love writing dialogue. I will sometimes write just the dialogue like a script and then hate myself because I have to go fill in the descriptive bits between it which feels like a chore.

28 - What area of writing do you want to improve in?

I'd love to improve at varying my writing style, I don't know how it comes across to the readers but I sometimes feel I write with a very similar style across all of my fics. I experimented a bit with gothic for one fic and it was relatively well received so I'd love to be able to expand a bit and play about more with genre and style.

36 - What fic are you proudest of?

This is a tough question, I'm going to pick two for the sake of my own sanity. First is think i need someone older because it was my first multi-part fic and it has done better than I could have dreamed of considering I thought of the idea when I was falling asleep after reading Wolfstar smut until 2am. The other is it's never just coffee because I really struggled with parts of writing it but I was so proud after it was done. It was entirely an indulgence in my love for Rosekiller and the comments I got on it were so wonderful!

38 - What is your most self-indulgent posted story?

I'd have to say looking at you got me thinking christmas because I just wanted to write about Remus dressed as Santa (the birth of Moony Claus, who I'm sure will return later in 2024) fucking Sirius and I had so much fun writing it.

49 - What fic of yours would you say is the best introduction to you as a writer?

Right off the bat, I have to say think i need someone older because it just feels like the fic I always go back to in my head trying to find whatever magic I managed to put in there. I had so much fun writing Wolfstar as cowboys and diving deeper into the characters. I also want to say once the thrill expired though because it was the first one-shot that I wrote where I had a genuine investment in trying to convey emotions inspired by a song, which has just expanded for me as a concept and is now how most of my fics come about.

55 - Have you noticed any patterns in your fics? Words/expressions that appear a lot, themes, common settings, etc?

This is a really fucking good question. I seem to be a sucker for writing some hurt/comfort second chances but I can't particularly think of any words or expressions I use a lot but if anyone does know any and fancies making me regrettably self-aware then do let me know. As for settings, I love to keep it as vague as possible in terms of city or region (except its usually England) unless the setting is important like with the band au, cowboy au and pirate au where setting mattered. I would say because I write a lot of smut a common setting is "bed" but that's just not even true, I've made these idiots fuck in bathrooms, against walls, trucks, on sofas, in a barn.

68 - Are there any fics that influenced you to write the way you do?

So I've mentioned in a post waaaay back but my idea to write a cowboy Woflstar fic came after reading a few cowboy wolfstar fics but primarily Boot Scootin' Baby by cancerravenclaw. Other than this, I try and keep the way I write as authentic to me as possible and avoid fics too similar to my concepts so like I've never read another band au (the closest I've come is The Cadence of Part-Time Poets like the last chunk) and I've never read a pirate au to my knowledge. There are writers who inspire me though, I love greenvlvetcouch, damagecontrol and the absolute loml who asked this massive list of questions futurequibblerjournalist/heartnipnops/Alex who is a bit of a saint when it comes to me and my writing. We bounce ideas off each other and I send him bits of my fics to test if they're shit and apparently they never are so idk if I should trust his judgement. He's also going to be like "Katie urgh wtf" for saying he inspires me but it's true < 3

72 - What’s your favorite writing compliment you’ve gotten?

Because I'm mean, I love when people cry. At my fics, not in general....usually. I have a folder of screenshots on my phone of my favourite comments for a little ego boost (it's a lot of Alex crying and typing essays in my comments ngl). I get complimented on my smut a lot which is honestly so...idk, I don't quite have the words which is ironic really. Receiving compliments on my writing has been quite the journey for me, I used to cry whenever someone said something nice and I still struggle to accept people genuinely like my fics.

74 - Do you have a fic you wish got a bit more love?

I'm assuming this means my fics? Trying to word this with without sounding ungrateful for the love this fic got but yes absolutely it's never just coffee but that's just how writing Rosekiller seems to go. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE writing Wolfstar and the occasional Jegulus but I wish Rosekiller got the same love from the fandom. I spent about a month straight working on it's never just coffee and I'm so grateful for the love it has received but I feel it's just better written than some of the pwp one-shots I post.

79 - Do you have any writing advice you want to share?

This is going to sound so hypocritical after that answer but honestly, just write what you love to write and not just what people want you to write. Write what you want, when you want, as often as you want. Once you start writing for others you lose the passion you start out with. Fic writing is a hobby and not a job, if you stop loving it then it becomes a chore with no gratification. Even if it means you write something you think no-one will read, write it anyway if its something you love. Oh, and consider therapy.

Well, I just rewrote War and Peace so thank you for those all though provoking questions < 3

[callofdooty]

5-4-3-2-1 Tag Game!!

Tagged by @alidravana ! Thank you so much for the tag! :D

top 5 works i’m proudest of (not in any particular order):

Since I only have two actual works, I'll just put them both LOL:

Just Us - Keegan and Merrick havea moment after the events of the game

My Bed Is A Pool And The Walls Are On Fire - Keegan being delirious for 1000 Words

top 4 current wips i’m excited about:

Mostly all Whumpuary works since they've got my full attention rn LOL

Woken Up Like An Animal - Fill for the prompt Nightmares. Logan makes friends with Mouse after he accidentally kicks her across a room. Title is a line from Human by Daughter (aka one of the best Logan songs to exist LOL)

Keegan's Hypothermia fic - Prompt fill for Hypothermia and "Stay With Me" - Trying to play into the found family as much as I can because I am a SUCKER for it) Pending title ^^

My Heroes Are Dead (They Died In My Head) - Prompt fill for Betrayal. Bitter stream of consciousness, takes place after Struck Down, from Keegan's perspective (but Ajax's fate will be left ambiguous so he might be dead, might be canon divergence that lets him live) Title is a line from Diluted by Slipknot

I Won't Give Up On You (So Don't Give Up On Me) - Prompt fill for "Don't Do This" and Blurry Vision. Not entirely sure what this will entail but it will probably center around Hesh and Logan :) I love :) Angst :) I'm just hella into the title and the prompts as a combination. Title is a line from The Sadness Will Never End by Bring Me The Horizon

top 3 improvements in my writing:

Actually rewriting drafts. A lot of the time, I don't typically rewrite drafts, but for some of the Ghosts ficxs, I've actually got multiple different versions of fics LOL

Uhh I'd say I've definitely developed a stylised way of writing? Which, is actually pretty much just the way I write normally AHA - a lot pauses in strange places, and of course the angsty internal monologuing. I also like messing with structure when I can (Unfortunate House of Leaves simp over here)

Catching when my tenses slip. I don't know why, it might be due to roleplaying, but I find that I often flip between past and present tense in the middle of writing (where it wouldn't make sense to) But I've been able to catch it, lately. Makes editing fics a bitch LOL

top 2 writing resolutions:

Just posting more honestly. Last fandom I wrote fics for got a grand total of three fics because I didn't get to finish the others LOL, and then I kind of drifted off to other things (it's still some of my best angst work, so hopefully I can bring that energy to the Ghosts. The character I fixated on actually might have some similarities to Logan ssooo 👁 👁)

Maybe trying to branch out more? My two modes of writing are Hurt/No Comfort (hilarious, because I hate reading Hurt/No Comfort) and Whump so maybe I can try smth else? Maybe romance? Definitely not something I'm familiar with writing, but it feels like something I could try. (The real issue is finding ships I wanna write about /hj)

number 1 favourite line:

Hmm, this is hard, so I'm going to make up for all the other ones I can't fill by giving a few LOL

From Just Us, I'm quite fond of this line:

Shame stirs in his stomach, making him nauseous before working its way up, gripping his heart and then balling up to cause a lump in his throat that he tries his best to swallow around. "I miss him." The shame ignites like a gasoline trail, flaring quickly into anger (whether it's at himself or Rorke... it's hard to tell with all the smoke) that only makes him feel more sick. "God damn it, I miss that piece of shit."

From the Nightmares fic I'm working on (almost done with it!):

Her eyes did more than enough talking on that front, strangely expressive for how closed off she otherwise seemed. They told a thousand stories; all indecipherable, written in a language that no one could speak of, but could understand all the same. The mind's exact tales of suffering were locked away, hidden, but their effect still seemed to shine from the soul's very own fractured looking glass. A hint of resignation acted as dust upon the reflection's surface; a house haunted by time more than any other phantom.

and then this giant excerpt from a WIP abt Hesh :)

Occasionally, a glimpse will come to Hesh’s mind. Sometimes it’s intrusive, lightning flashing against a canopy of dark clouds, shaking the foundations of his mind with a deafening roar. Sudden, brief and violent in nature. Other times it’s… slow. Easy and gentle, like ocean waves crawling their way up the beach; soft, hushed. Almost comforting, if not for the deep grief that the tide often brought with it, the wind brushing by carrying the faint echoes of laughter and excited voices.

On days like this, the wind only seems to carry his own distant screams. The tide now feels lonelier than it ever did. That one set of footprints trailing in the sand was just that; a single set. The second set of imprints settled in his own stride now gone. 

Instead, the ghost of his shadow is embedded yards away, a trench dug out by desperately grasping hands, reaching for anything. Reaching for him.  

It’s still the gentle ease of a memory washing over him, sea foam gathering, swaying and receding slowly, but that’s perhaps what makes it worse. The slowness. The time he has to sit there and dismantle himself from the inside out, while his own head taunts him with things he no longer has, can no longer reach out for. Even the ebb and flow of water can wear down cliffs with enough time, steady and persistent in its movements. 

Imagery galore! LOL

tagging... @bubble-dream-inc , @goorehound and @neon-amnesia (If y'all want to, don't feel pressured to! ^^)

Basic Template:

top 5 works i’m proudest of (not in any particular order):

top 4 current wips i’m excited about:

top 3 improvements in my writing:

top 2 writing resolutions:

number 1 favourite line:

[shrinkthisviolet]

fic authors self rec! when you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. let’s spread the self-love 💗 -ambi

ps. i just realized i’m not following you???? sorry 😭

Not a problem at all! Glad you're following me now 💗

This ask was also sent in by @dearestpartnerofgreatness @phoomwhoosh @goldheartedchaoticdisaster and @northerngoshawk! Thank you all, sorry my July's been hectic af 😅

So, my 5 favorite self-written fics (in no particular order):

1. so many walls up (i can't break through) - the first fic of the s1 arc of the Morgan AU! My first multichap in the AU too...which I don't usually write a lot of, so that made it extra special. It's also where we see the beginnings of Barry & Morgan, aka one of my favorite relationships in this whole AU (and if you love them too, take comfort in knowing that there's gonna be a lot more of them to come). And some insight into Morgan & Thawne's complicated father-daughter dynamic...which is the relationship referred to in the title. And Morgan herself is so wonderful and I love her...which goes hand in hand with me wanting to give her the biggest, tightest hug 💞

2. one tries to fly away (and the other watches close) - also part of the Morgan Wells AU, and also expanding on Morgan & Thawne as a relationship. It was a nice change to step into Eowells's head and see how he feels about Morgan...we spend so much time in her shoes that I think it's important to show that Eowells does indeed love Morgan, he just doesn't know how to love her in a healthy way, so he ends up hurting her. Love can be complicated like that.

3. i hate to look at your face (and know that you're feeling different) - so this is pretty recent, but I love it! I love Izumi & Zuko, and I've always wanted to write something about them, but...the ATLA muse these days is fickle, so I wasn't sure where to start. But I figured "ooh what's more angsty than Izumi finding out about her dad's scar at 13?" and I'm proud of the results 💞 having a deadline helped too

4. come in, the water is(n't) fine - this is one I think I'll be proud of for a while. It was my first go at Sith Luke, but during the Sequels era from the POV of Rey. I've always wanted more from Rey & Luke than what we got in the movies, and this was my chance to sorta explore that...albeit with some differences. I think the backstory was the trickiest part to get right here - it's an AU but I didn't wanna go full OOC, so I had to figure out how Luke could plausibly fall. And I think I did pretty well! And bonus...I actually didn't hate Kylo Ren in this 😂

5. i hear it calling (i feel it in my soul) - can't make a list like this without a Lucy AU fic ofc! And it had to be this one. This very well might change to my ESB fic (since that movie's my favorite), but for now, it's this one. I really loved writing this, inserting Lucy and changing a few minor things here and there to kick the emotion up a notch (and to erase that brief Luke and Leia romance because...wtf)...and the sibling bonds between the triplets were so wonderful to write too! And Lucy herself is so dear to me ofc 💞

...also I'm cheating and adding a 6th because I feel like it:

6. main gehra tamas tu sunehra savera (main tera) - the Maiko/Hasaisha fic! Can't make this list without that too...this fic will forever be one of my proudest ones. Maiko is such a dear ship to me, and Hasaisha were so cute in Ms. Marvel...and I gave myself a challenge that I didn't know if I could meet, but I wanted to try. And I'm so glad I did, because I think it's one of the best things I've ever written.

[practically-an-x-man]

Prometheus questions because I am curious.

So, we kinda collectively agreed that Corinthian and Dream's relationship is similar to that of a rebellious kid and disappointed parent. But what is Prometheus's relationship with Dream like? Was it like that or did they view Dream more like a boss?

Is it more special because Prometheus was one of, if not, the first nightmare created? How does Dream feel about them? Proud? Disappointed? Does he know they're missing?

Do you think Dream misses the creations of his that run away?

Ooh, okay, these are FASCINATING questions and I can't wait to dive into this! Apologies if this answer ends up way too thorough or long-winded

Okay, first thing: Prometheus is obviously very dedicated and work-driven, their relationship with Dream is a bit more like a boss than a parent. There's still a bit of connection there - I'd compare it to a family business, Dream is both parent and boss and that places him in a very strange position of power. Back when they were a nightmare (Nyx), Prometheus was much closer with Dream since they were so high-profile. They had a lot of contact with him. But when they became a dream, they were forced to avoid him entirely for fear of being uncreated, so they see him now as more of a threat to their survival. Like... A cop that leaves the force to become a mercenary/vigilante, which then sends the chief of police after them. Ally turned enemy, in a way.

I feel like Dream would certainly feel close to Prometheus, in the same way you might feel close to the first piece you ever wrote as a writer. You look back and see so many flaws because you were still so new to it, but you created it all the same and so it will hold a special place in your heart. For a long time, Prometheus (as Nyx) was one of Dream's proudest creations, until he grew more practiced in creating dreams and nightmares.

As far as whether he knows they're missing, I'd say he definitely finds out at some point. Maybe not when they first transform, especially since they're so careful about being hidden, but there's no way such a well-known nightmare could just up and disappear without notice. But there are more important things on his radar, he's not going to waste his time and energy outright hunting them down if they aren't hurting anything. But as we see from the Corruption ending of Secret Worlds, he will return them to their former state if he runs into them. It's a lot like Gault, really - he only sends her back when he encounters her in Jed's dream, he doesn't seek her out. (And also you'll get a deeper perspective on this when I write Ruin, it's going to be interesting)

I feel like he definitely misses the creations that run away. I feel like it's a blend of grief like losing a friend, because he was close to them (and other dreams that go rogue), but also things like regret and pity. He talks a lot about the Corinthian's "flaws" through the comics/show, so I feel like he sees them a bit like art projects or pieces of writing, where he as their creator can see all the mistakes he made when he created them. He probably both wishes he could've done better by them, like a parent would, and wishes they'd stayed in their place like he wanted them to, like a creator whose creation got away from him. I just feel like it's a very complicated relationship he has with them.

TL;DR: Prometheus sees him more like a boss but still was close to him, Dream was proud but in a nostalgic way (like looking at your favorite childhood artwork), yes he does find out they left, and yes he misses his creations that run away

[spaghettificationandpretzels]

Regarding your "Ask the writer"!

I'm a very curious individual, therefore I carefully selected a few off the questions list! To make it more organized I chose #34, 35, 36, 48 and 74 - I apologize if we're only allowed to choose one! IF so, feel free to select whichever one you'd want to answer :)

I also wanted to ask a new question!

As a floating writer myself, I struggle sometimes when I story write certain characters such as Jax Teller, Dean Winchester for example only because I'm so invested into the show, so invested into these guys that writing them in stories can physically make my heart hurt. I don't know how to explain it, but I wondered if you experience the same thing? I know we both share a love for Jax (go best friend💕 ) does writing him in any scenario- In danger, or in pain, or loosing his best friend or leaving the love of his life etc hurt you on the inside? Sorry for the long one but IM SO interested in your response! Eek!

34. How much of your personal life/experience do you include in your fics?

Other than chronic pain, zero. I would say I write the characters to have to same intellectual interests as me just because I find it easy to add background and character shading when I do that. 35. What’s your favorite fic you’ve posted?

I don't have one. To be perfectly honest, I don't think my writing is anywhere near as good as anyone else's. I've done my best to like what I write, having a favourite will take a bit longer. 36. What fic are you proudest of?

The Reaper and the Death Angel I made a whole new universe, it's 60 chapters and I've basically made most characters their own. I'm not proud because I think it's good, I'm proud because of the work that's gone into it.

48.Who is your favorite character to write for?  Has this changed since you’ve started writing for that fandom?

I don't really have one, it's just who takes my fancy that day.

74. Do you have a fic you wish got a bit more love?

All of them, I've only started to like my writing in the last few weeks. With everything I write, I love it when I'm writing it, hate it the moment it's out then grow to like it as time goes on and I get feedback. I always feel they are silly an unrealistic (most of them are) the plot armour is crazy and the OC/Reader always has all the answers.

As for your extra question;

I do experience the same thing, it's why I write fanfiction. I chose never to put my chapter in situations where there is unresolved pain, they live in my world and in that world, everything turns out alright. It does cause me pain so I don't write it and I'd tell anyone that it's your work, it's what you want and if you want everything to be all sunshine and roses, every situation, no matter how dire, can have a happy ending. If you don't want to put them through anything, don't you do this for free so you can do what you want.

Canon is a motherfucker and it can't sit with us.

Thank you for the asks!!!

[laviesepoursuit]

when you realize clichés are just hard hitting truths

i have always stayed close to my journals. i have always loved to chronicle and i have always been a nostalgic person. the (3?) years since my last post have significantly changed me and marked me. it's so interesting how i never prided myself on being a writer; i prided myself on being introspective and reflective. but today, i really appreciate how well i was able to capture who i was back then, the way i expressed myself in those posts. it was like jumping in a time machine and landing in the mind of my younger self. i only wish i had chronicled more.

i've become a fan of lists as of late. here is a summary of my last few years:

started therapy - one of the best decisions of my life

lived the hardest week of my life and said goodbye to the most important person in my life

fell in love with who i thought was the love of my life (again haha)

bared all and faced rejection of the deepest, most intimate kind (the most painful yet in my life)

embarked on the hardest solo trip of my life (despite it being the easiest country to navigate thus far - solely due to my poorly state of mind at the time)

been the kindest to and proudest of myself that i've ever been in my life

if there are any takeaways here, it's that i've lived a lot of personal "superlatives" in the last few years. overall, i'm proud of the way that i push myself to experience the things that scare me. i'm proud of what i do in spite of fear, because i definitely have a lot of fear in me. i'm proud of how much i love and care about people, even if it hurts me. i'm proud of how i try to lead with kindness and empathy. i'm proud of how deeply i feel, and i love how i have been able to bottle these sentiments into photos, blogs and journal entries.

life has knocked me on my ass more times than i'd like to admit, even in the time since the inception of my tumblr. i've done a lot of work on myself to make sure i get back up each time, and to make it easier to do so. over the years, i've learned that these damn clichés hold so much truth and i need to stop thinking they're cheesy or insubstantial. so, here are some heavy hitting clichés that have profoundly resonated with me/changed how i think:

you don't owe anyone anything, even if they feel entitled to it

nobody owes you anything, you are not entitled to anything; you are responsible for your own happiness and emotions

no one can make you feel inferior without your consent (thank u, Eleanor Roosevelt)

you can't pour from an empty cup

what you dislike in others is what you dislike in yourself

boundaries, boundaries, boundaries

life is short, live it to the fullest

i could write a whole dissertation on the meaning behind each of these clichés, and maybe it would serve me to actually do so one day. in the meantime, i'll leave them here as a reminder to myself, for whenever i forget my own agency and feel a little helpless. we are only here for a finite number of years, so why not collect as many experiences as possible? feel as many emotions as possible? expose ourselves to as many literal and metaphorical colours as possible? c'est sûr que la vie se poursuit - ça veut dire qu’elle s’arrête pas. donc, il faut en profiter le plus possible.

biz.

[poltoreveur]

We Eventually Faded

Pairing : Remus Lupin x Reader

Summary : Sexuality was never the matter in your relationship, but it started to become a problem when Remus had something else to pursue.

Warning : Cheating.

Words count : 1,5k+

A/N : I just randomly started writing and it lead to this. What is with me and writing sad stories.

The gif is not mine. Credits to the owner.

Remus never appreciated how warm you were until he was gone away for the first time and he couldn't buried face into the soft hollow of your neck.

You are the limelight, the light in his otherwise dreary day, and he'll never be able how to articulate how thankful he was for you. 

Especially during moments like this.

It was the school’s winter break, with Sirius still crashing the Potter’s resident and Peter doing his own things ━ Remus decided to spend the holidays with you.

But ever since he had arrived, he had acted hostile towards you. 

Not muttering a sentence unless it was necessarily, skipping meals and you barely seen him around the manor.

Though this had already been going on even before the school break.

The day he came out as bisexual to the group and came forward about the two of you having a relationship, everyone was absolutely thrilled.

You were the most proudest person besides Remus, that he was finally starting to feel comfortable in his own skin and was truly being himself.

But that happy moment didn’t go without a cost.

You accidentally found him and Sirius in the library, being much more friendlier than they usually were.

At first you didn't question it, because they were already friends before the two of you were a couple but it wasn’t until the day you saw them kissing each other at their usual spot in the library when you couldn’t stand to turn another blind eye.

Since then, your school day were usually content with studying, avoiding each other in the morning until night came then the screaming and fighting come in, but in the end the two of you would always make up and ended up sleeping on Remus’ bed before you go back to same routine again.

So when the time Remus asked if he could stay with you for the holidays, you were staggered with his request.

Not only you both had not been seeing each other for the past few days, the rumours of him and Sirius cheating and having a secret relationship behind your back, hurt you, it wasn’t because the minor gossip ━ it was because you knew that it’s true.

Staying in your room and in opposite wing during his stay was the best idea you had, giving that your parents were off visiting the family for the holidays.

Your bedroom was dark despite the early hour, but you didn't complain when he came in; exhausted and in desperate need for comfort. 

He couldn't tell you the exact reason why his day had turned out so shitty, yet you turned off the TV and put down the remote all the same.

Early that morning, you saw him in the yard.

He was trying to plant your roses but he got frustrated, he toss the shovel across the garden, he then continued to shoved the flowers off the table and with rage ━ he stomped on it, leaving the roses flat on the ground.

You were watching from the window, but you didn’t bother to check on him, knowing he doesn’t want you to help to fix his own mess.

Now, as he listened to the gentle sound of your breathing, he could feel the stress rolling more and more his shoulders in waves.

This isn't what he needed; a night in with questions, platitudes, anger or rage.

You were definitely concerned and confused, he was so agitated, you haven't seen this way since ever.

The last time he was so nervous was coming out to his friends and it doesn't even compared to how he was acting now.

You could feel his nervousness and as you tried to calm him down ━ placing a hand onto his shoulder, he pushes it away before letting out a big sigh.

"I think we should cut ties here." 

It was the first thing Remus told you after entering your room for the first time after two weeks of staying there, and the first thing he had said in a long time where you knew he really meant it.

Over the pass few weeks, you knew his love, his care and all of his affection, even his touch didn’t felt or even belong to you, like it used to.

It was longing someone else.

You saw this coming, you really did. 

From a thousand miles away, it was inevitable but it still hurt though nonetheless.

Even with the two of you not being your best lately, you wanted to ask him what made him do it. What started this whole mess in the first the place. If you had something to do with him falling out of love with you and in with Sirius.

You wanted to know what wasn't cutting it anymore.

Was it the late night letters which in neither of you were all that conscious about, or was it the act of being alright to the rest of the world when the both of you knew that you weren't really happy anymore; maybe it was the apologising, convincing yourselves how the both of you truly love each other, only to fight the next day and come back with a heavy heart?

Was it the non-stop dating rumours, or the fact that he couldn't tell the world that he was longing someone else without it sounding heartless, but you think it was a little too late for that.

You felt as if, the day he started to feel comfortable with himself, was the day you started dejecting yourself.

Maybe you were the reason that he resulted to move on when you were paying less attention to him as he started to get from someone else.

In your head, you had begged Remus to stay and he said yes.

In your head, you replayed all the memories of the two of you for him to see, all of the happy moments and the heart wrenching ones as well.

In your head, you had fixed everything.

Everything was fine.

The silence on your end stretched on for years and years until you found it in yourself to muster up the courage to reply.

"Alright."

"If that's what's best, then let's end things here."

You didn't let him show any tears falling down in your side of the end. Neither do you let him hear any signs of pain or hurt in your voice.

In that exact moment, to you the Remus Lupin you knew, is gone. 

Slipped away through your fingers and you don't even know the person who was standing right in-front of you.

"Okay then. I'd be leaving in that case. I’ll pack my things and I’ll get a train to James’ place.”

James' place.

You knew why he was heading there, and yet you didn’t question him.

He walked out of the door, and when he did, tears slipped through your eyes. You quickly wiped it away and took in a big breath before letting it all out.

The clock in your room was ticking loudly. Minutes went by before you heard your front door close. 

When your front door closes, you knew Remus’ heart did too.

As you sat on your bed, thinking about what had just happened. You couldn't remember the boy you completely fallen in love with.

The boy you fell your head over heels for.

Then your mind quickly wandered around in your head. You thought to yourself, if your relationship with Remus was based completely on this mysterious hunger of having somebody by your side; in your bed.

Was he really your soulmate, as you thought in the beginning when you would pull an all-nighter, pretending to study even if you knew it was only an excuse to see him? Or maybe only your bodies were meant to be together. Nothing more less or so.

You still can't figure out the answer.

You and Remus were friends ever since the year he noticed you having a struggle with one of the bowtruckle during Cares of Magical Creatures. And you cared for him, yes, and you have never felt the way you felt with him with anyone else.

His sexuality never mattered when the two of you secretly started your relationship and then he came out to you that night too.

Remus was your fresh breath, he made you feel alive, wanted and wanting.

Thinking back about the relationship, you both knew it was a risk.

A risk of friendship. A risk of loving. A risk of aching. A risk of being in a real committed relationship.

Everything was at risk; at stake when you're with Remus.

And in the end, it was a risk that was not worth taking.

As you collapse down onto your bed, letting your back make contact with your sheets ━ you were left there wondering that exact question.

Risking everything to be with Remus.

So why did you took it?