#but i can’t find one mean comment about him on tiktok

[harmonicaorange]

watching bellamy blake edits on tiktok but they are NOTHING compared to 2016 vine edits

[pucksandpower]

So Good to Her

Charles Leclerc x Reader

Summary: the public reacts to the TikTok challenge you and Charles inadvertently participated in

Read So Good to Me (about the TikTok challenge) here

The TikTok that the British influencer posted of his encounter with you and your incredibly generous boyfriend quickly goes viral, racking up millions of views, likes, and comments within mere hours.

It spreads like wildfire across social media platforms, with people sharing it on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook — even LinkedIn of all places. Everyone marvels at this mystery woman with the boyfriend of all boyfriends who casually sent her €10,000 just to buy a pair of shoes.

In a cozy London flat, a group of university students and diehard Charles fans gather around a laptop, eyes wide as they watch the now-viral video for the umpteenth time.

“I can’t believe Charles has a secret girlfriend!” Megan, a petite blonde wearing a red Ferrari cap, exclaims. “How did we not know about this? We follow his every move!”

Her best friend Ethan nods in agreement, his brow furrowed. “Seriously, who is this girl? She’s drop dead gorgeous and apparently Charles is just casually sending her 10 grand for shopping sprees?”

“Okay but like, goals though,” Lexi chimes in dreamily, clutching a Charles Leclerc poster to her chest. “Imagine having a boyfriend who’s not only mega hot and talented but also spoils you rotten. She’s living the dream.”

Ethan scoffs and rolls his eyes. “Oh come on, he can’t just throw money around like that. I bet this whole thing was staged for clout.”

Megan shoots him a withering glare. “Don’t be ridiculous. What would be the point? Charles is already one of the most popular drivers on the grid, he doesn’t need to pull PR stunts for attention.”

“Plus did you see the way he talked to her on the phone?” Lexi points out, rewinding the video. “That was not acting, that was real love and affection in his voice. I’m so soft for them already, ugh.”

The trio falls silent as they watch the clip again, zeroing in on every little detail and facial expression from both Charles’ mystery girlfriend and the clearly shocked TikToker.

Ethan chuckles and shakes his head. “I still can’t get over her reaction though. Just a guy who loves driving fast cars — I mean, the cheek! She really knows how to keep a secret, gotta give her that.”

“An icon, honestly,” Megan declares. “The fact that she told him to donate the money to an animal shelter too ... okay, I can’t even be mad. She seems like a sweet person.”

Lexi sighs happily, starry-eyed. “They’re literally a power couple. The sheer confidence and BDE of it all. I’m so jealous but also like, rooting for them? We have to find out who this girl is!”

As if on cue, Megan’s phone pings with a Twitter notification. Her eyes widen as she swipes to view it. “Guys. GUYS. The TikToker just confirmed her first name is Y/N and posted another video with a few more details about her!”

“Well don’t just sit there, play it!” Ethan demands, practically launching himself across the couch to peer over Megan’s shoulder at her phone screen. Lexi scrambles to join them, bouncing with anticipation.

In the new clip, the TikToker is grinning excitedly at the camera, an extra bounce in his step as he walks along the same Monaco street where he first approached you.

“Right, so I’m sure by now you’ve all seen my video with Charles Leclerc’s girlfriend go absolutely mental viral,” he begins, running a hand through his artfully tousled hair. “Which, can I just say — thank you so much for the insane support and love, you lot are the best fans ever.”

“Get to the point,” Ethan mutters under his breath, earning a sharp “Shh!” from both girls.

“Anyway,” the TikToker continues. “After she left and I finally picked my jaw up off the floor, I did some digging. I headed to that little boutique she mentioned in the call with Charles, just to see if she actually went in and bought anything. Thought maybe if I asked the staff, they might be able to give me some more info, you know?”

Megan, Ethan, and Lexi all subconsciously lean closer to the small phone screen, hanging on to his every word.

“So get this — not only did she buy the shoes, she apparently also went next door and purchased, and I quote, a frankly alarming amount of lingerie. The cashier said she dropped over 5 grand like it was nothing!”

Lexi lets out a scandalized gasp as Ethan chokes on his sip of Red Bull. Megan just shakes her head in wonderment. “The actual legend,” she murmurs reverently.

The TikToker laughs and waggles his eyebrows suggestively at the camera. “I don’t know about you lot, but I’m definitely sensing some spicy thank you for the shopping money activities were planned for a certain Ferrari driver, if you know what I mean. Get in there, Charles!”

“Gross, I so did not need that visual,” Ethan grumbles, but there’s a slight smirk playing on his lips all the same.

“Oh shut up, as if you wouldn’t do the exact same if you were dating Charles,” Lexi retorts with a playful shove to his shoulder.

“ANYWAY,” the TikToker presses on, “I did manage to squeeze a few more details out of the lovely shop girl. Apparently Charles’ girlfriend is named Y/N, no last name given for privacy reasons. But she’s a regular customer and, I quote, an absolute sweetheart who only ever has glowing things to say about her man. So there you have it, folks — Y/N and Charles are the real deal and we’re all just peasants watching a fairytale unfold.”

Megan sighs dreamily as the video ends. “Y/N and Charles,” she repeats to herself, already typing the names into her social media search bars. “God, even their names sound good together. I have to find out everything about her.”

“Dibs on making their ship name hashtag go viral,” Lexi calls out, already furiously typing away on her own phone.

Ethan snorts and rolls his eyes affectionately at his friends, but there’s no denying the small, reluctantly impressed smile tugging at the corners of his mouth too. “I give it two days before they’re papped together on some glamorous date night now that the secret’s out. Hope she’s ready for the attention dating an F1 star brings.”

“With that level of confidence and the way Charles clearly adores her? I think our girl Y/N will handle the spotlight just fine,” Megan says confidently.

Lexi nods in firm agreement. “Yep, a true queen. Charles better lock that down and wife her up real quick before one of us tries to snatch her for ourselves!”

***

In a cozy apartment not far from the very street where you had your memorable encounter with the TikToker, three young women huddle around a laptop screen, eyes wide and jaws slack as they watch the now viral video for the umpteenth time.

“I can’t believe this,” mutters Isabelle, a pretty brunette with an impressively encyclopedic knowledge of Formula 1 stats. “Charles has a girlfriend? Since when?”

“And he just sent her €10,000 like it was nothing!” Exclaims Maia, nervously twirling a strand of her platinum blonde hair. “I mean, I know he’s loaded but holy shit, the way he spoils her ...”

The third girl, Claire, bites her lip, a pensive look on her delicate features. “Did you hear what she said at the end though? Just a guy who loves driving fast cars. She was obviously talking about Charles. But the way she said it, all mysterious and like it was some inside joke ... I don’t know, it just rubs me the wrong way.”

Isabelle scoffs and rolls her eyes. “Please, she was totally gloating. Didn’t even have the decency to act a little humble about the fact that THE Charles Leclerc is apparently head over heels for her.”

“Exactly!” Maia chimes in, nodding vigorously. “Like okay, congrats, you bagged a hot, rich, famous race car driver. No need to rub it in the rest of our faces.”

Claire wrinkles her nose. “I just don’t get the vibe that she actually cares about him, you know? I mean, who asks their boyfriend to send them money in the middle of the day for some stupid shoes? While he’s working? She seems like such a gold digger.”

“Ugh, you’re so right,” Isabelle agrees, her lips curling in distaste. “Poor Charles is probably blind to it because he’s so gone for her. He didn’t even hesitate to transfer that money!”

Maia sighs dramatically and falls back on the bed. “God, it’s so unfair. Why can’t I find a man who’s that generous and totally obsessed with me? I’d treat him so much better than she does, you can already tell.”

Claire hums and taps her chin thoughtfully. “You know what, I think this smells fishy. How do we even know she’s actually Charles’ girlfriend? For all we know, she could have paid some guy who sounds like him to play along for a TikTok clout.”

Isabelle’s eyes narrow as she considers this possibility. “That’s true ... I haven’t come across any photos of them together or anything. Why has no one ever seen her before if they’re supposedly so in love?”

“Exactly!” Claire exclaims, growing more animated. “I’ve been a Charles fan for years and I’ve never seen or heard anything about a girlfriend. If they’re really dating, there’s no way it wouldn’t have come out before now.”

Maia sits up, suddenly energized by this new conspiracy theory. “Oh my god, you’re right! She’s probably just some wannabe influencer trying to get famous by pretending to be with Charles. That’s so pathetic.”

Isabelle nods slowly, a determined glint in her eye. “You know what? We should do some digging. Try to find out who this girl really is and expose her for the fraud she clearly is. Charles and the world deserve to know the truth.”

“Yesss, I’m so down for an investigation!” Maia says gleefully. “Imagine if we’re the ones who reveal that this whole thing is fake. We’d be doing Charles a huge favor.”

Claire is already pulling up Instagram and Twitter on her phone. “Let’s start by going through the comments on that TikTok and seeing if anyone has identified her or posted any receipts. There have to be some clues somewhere.”

The girls spend the next few hours poring over social media, searching for any scrap of information they can find about the mystery woman who has supposedly captured Charles Leclerc’s heart. They work themselves into a frenzy, convincing each other more and more that you can’t possibly be Charles’ real girlfriend. In their minds, you’re clearly just an opportunistic clout chaser looking for your 15 minutes of fame.

“God, I hope Charles sees through her act soon,” Isabelle says for the hundredth time, shaking her head. “He’s too good for some two-bit gold digger who’s just using him.”

“We’ll make sure he finds out who she really is,” Claire assures her firmly. “And then he’ll have no choice but to dump her lying ass.”

Maia sighs wistfully, hugging a throw pillow to her chest. “Do you think once he’s single again, I might actually have a chance? Like, if I run into him at a race one day and strike up a conversation, maybe he’ll realize I’m the girl he’s meant to be with ...”

“Okay, let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” Claire says with a laugh. “First step is taking down this fraud of a girlfriend. Then we can daydream about being Mrs. Leclerc.”

The girls giggle and go back to their social media sleuthing with renewed determination. They’ve decided you’re public enemy number one and they won’t rest until they’ve exposed you for the fake, money-hungry, clout-chasing liar they’re certain you must be. In their eyes, they’re crusaders for truth, fighting to save their beloved Charles from your clutches.

What they don’t realize, of course, is just how very real and very deep Charles’ feelings for you actually are ... and that you’re not going anywhere anytime soon, Internet conspiracy theories be damned.

***

In a dimly lit basement somewhere in Italy, a group of die-hard Charles Leclerc fans huddle around a computer screen, their jaws dropping as they watch the video for the umpteenth time.

“Guys, are you seeing this shit?” Enzo, the self-appointed leader of the group, asks incredulously. “Who the hell is this girl and how did she bag Charles freakin’ Leclerc?”

“Dude, we don’t even know for sure that it’s actually Charles,” Giovanni points out skeptically. “She never said his name. It could be some other rich dude with a fast car.”

Enzo scoffs and rolls his eyes. “Oh come on, who else could it be? €10,000 like it’s nothing, is it possible that Leclerc has a secret girlfriend we don’t know about all this time? A guy who likes driving fast cars? It’s obviously Charles! Our boy is LOADED and that’s exactly how he’d spoil his girl.”

Luca nods in agreement, a dreamy expression on his face. “God, can you imagine being with Charles though? Having him call you all those cute pet names and just showering you with love and gifts? I’d fucking die.”

“Yeah, she has to be the luckiest woman on the planet,” Enzo sighs wistfully. “I mean, I’m straight, but even I’d let Charles ruin me, you know what I’m saying?”

The other guys murmur and nod in emphatic agreement, all of them momentarily lost in a fantasy of being Charles Leclerc’s pampered significant other.

“Okay but like, how is this even fair?” Giovanni gripes, breaking the spell. “The rest of us mere mortals are out here busting our asses on Tinder and Hinge, praying a decent girl will swipe right, and Charles just gets to date a literal goddess who is probably a model?”

“Life isn’t fair, Gio,” Enzo says solemnly. “Charles is on a completely different level. He could have any woman he wants and they’d all say yes before he even finished asking. The rules don’t apply to a guy like that.”

Luca suddenly sits up straight, his eyes widening with realization. “Holy shit, guys. Do you know what this means? If Charles is taken, that’s one less F1 driver on the market for all those grid girl groupies to throw themselves at! Maybe the rest of us actually have a chance now!”

Giovanni snorts derisively. “Yeah, you wish. Those chicks are still gonna be busy trying to get with Sainz or Verstappen or Norris. They’re not gonna settle for some nobody Ferrari fan. Let’s be real.”

“Wow, way to kill the vibe, Debbie Downer,” Luca mutters. He turns back to the computer and hits replay on the video, watching enviously as the TikToker clearly shows the €10,000 bank transfer on your phone. “Seriously though, how is this chick not freaking the fuck out? If Charles Leclerc randomly sent me 10 grand I’d be screaming and probably pass out.”

“She’s probably used to it,” Enzo says with a shrug. “I bet this is like, a regular Tuesday for her. Just casually strolling around Monaco, stopping into designer stores whenever she feels like it, Charles’ black credit card weighing down her Hermès purse. The bougiest of WAG lives.”

“God, what I wouldn’t give to trade places with her for just one day,” Giovanni says longingly. “Can you imagine getting to wake up next to Charles every morning? Having him make you breakfast and give you forehead kisses and tell you how much he loves you in that sexy accent?”

“Okay, now you’re just torturing yourself, bro,” Luca laughs. “You’ll be lucky if you can get a Tinder match to agree to split the bill at McDonalds.”

“Why you gotta bring me back to my sad reality like that?” Giovanni groans, chucking a throw pillow at Luca’s head. “Let me live vicariously through Charles’ bougie mystery girlfriend for a little while longer, damn.”

Enzo sighs and leans back in his chair, hands behind his head. “You know what the craziest part of all this is? The fact that Charles managed to keep a whole ass girlfriend hidden from the world. Like, the media has been speculating about his love life forever and no one had a clue he was actually in a serious relationship. That man moves in silence like a ninja.”

“Yeah, and did you see how he just casually threw out that he loves her?” Luca gushes. “He was all I love spoiling you, you deserve the world. My dude is head over heels for this girl and I am LIVING for it.”

“Ugh, why can’t I find a man like that?” Giovanni whines dramatically. “All I want is a guy who will write me cute Instagram captions in three languages and buy out the Gucci store for me but I guess that’s too much to ask!”

“Maybe if you stanned Charles harder, the universe would reward you,” Enzo snarks. “Start leaving thirsty comments on his shirtless pics, see if that manifests your dream F1 boyfriend.”

“Bold of you to assume I don’t already do that,” Giovanni retorts with a smirk. “How else do you think Oscar Piastri ended up in my DMs last night?”

“Wait, WHAT?” Luca and Enzo exclaim in unison, whipping their heads around to gape at their friend.

Giovanni bursts out laughing at their shocked faces. “I’m just kidding, jeez! You think I’d be sitting here listening to you losers if Oscar freaking Piastri actually messaged me? Puh-lease.”

“Man, don’t even joke about that,” Enzo grumbles, clutching at his heart. “You really had me going there for a sec.”

Luca huffs and slouches down in his seat. “Can we get back to being jealous of Charles’ sugar baby girlfriend now? I was enjoying that more than whatever the hell this conversation turned into.”

“She’s not his sugar baby!” Enzo argues. “They’re clearly in love! Did we watch the same video? The way he talked to her was mad cute. That’s his GIRL girl.”

“You’re right, you’re right,” Luca concedes, holding his hands up in apology. “Charles might spoil her but he obviously adores her for more than just her looks. That’s the real relationship goals right there.”

“Imagine being so secure in your love that you can just ball out on your partner like that and know it’s only going to make them love you more,” Giovanni muses. “Cannot relate.”

Enzo nods sagely. “Charles is just built different, man. In more ways than one.”

“Truer words have never been spoken,” Luca agrees. “So, are we watching this video another 50 times or are we moving on to the Grill the Grid compilation I found of all of Charles’ most adorably flustered moments?”

Enzo grins maniacally and reaches for the mouse. “Oh, you know we’re watching the hell out of this absolute gift again. And then we’re gonna spend the next three hours cyberstalking Charles and seeing if we can find any other crumbs about who this legendary mystery woman is. For research purposes.”

“This is the most productive thing we’ve done in months and I’m not even ashamed,” Giovanni declares, cracking his knuckles in preparation for the intense social media deep dive they’re about to undertake.

***

In a crowded sports bar in Dublin, a group of die-hard Ferrari fans gather to watch the latest race. But today, there’s another bit of F1-related content that has their attention. They huddle around a phone, repeatedly watching the now-infamous TikTok video.

“Can you believe it? €10,000 just like that!” Exclaims James, a tall, lanky guy with a mop of curly hair. “I mean, I knew Charles was loaded but damn ...”

“Forget the money, did you see his girlfriend?” Tom, a stocky redhead, chimes in. “Absolutely stunning. Like, how does a race car driver land a girl like that?”

Mark, a quieter guy with glasses, rolls his eyes. “Uh, maybe because he’s Charles freaking Leclerc? The man’s a beast on the track and has the face of a Greek god. Girls probably throw themselves at him left and right.”

The guys all mutter in begrudging agreement, a note of envy coloring their voices. On screen, the video replays yet again, showing you confidently calling up your boyfriend and securing the small fortune without batting an eye.

“God, what I wouldn’t give to have a woman look at me the way she probably looks at Leclerc,” Tom sighs wistfully.

“In your dreams, mate,” James scoffs. “Girls like that are way out of our league. We can’t compete with a Ferrari paycheck and Monaco real estate.”

“Still doesn’t seem fair though,” grumbles Mark. “The dude’s already got it all — talent, fame, money. Leave some for the rest of us!”

On screen, the video reaches the part where you coolly inform the gobsmacked TikToker that you don’t need his measly €2,000 and he should donate it to an animal shelter instead. The guys let out low whistles, clearly impressed by your classy move.

“See, that right there, that’s what separates the Monegasque princess types from regular girls,” says James with an air of authority. “We would’ve taken the cash in a heartbeat.”

“Speak for yourself, I’m a man of principle,” Tom jokes, puffing out his chest exaggeratedly. The others snort and shove him playfully.

As the video ends, the guys sit back, each lost in their own wistful imaginings of what it must be like to be Charles Leclerc. To have the money, success, and effortless charm to win over a girl like you.

Mark is the first to break the contemplative silence. “Maybe we’re looking at this all wrong,” he muses thoughtfully. “I mean yeah, Charles is a lucky bastard, no doubt. But that girl, she seems like a real catch too. Like the kind of person who’d keep you humble and grounded, even when you’re a superstar athlete with the world at your feet.”

The others consider this, nodding slowly. “Fair point,” concedes Tom. “Behind every great man and all that jazz. Leclerc may have his millions but he still needs someone to call him out on his BS from time to time.”

“Exactly,” agrees Mark. “And did you hear the way he spoke to her on the phone? The dude’s completely smitten. He may have all the money and fame, but I bet she’s the real prize in his eyes.”

“Alright, alright, settle down Dr. Phil,” James interjects with a good-natured eye roll. “You gonna start writing romance novels in your spare time now? Maybe they’ll make a movie — The Tifosi Who Loved Me: A Charles Leclerc Story.”

The guys all crack up laughing at that, the tension broken. Their envy towards Leclerc’s charmed life remains, but it’s now tinged with a newfound respect and even a touch of empathy.

“Y’know, jokes aside, I do hope he realizes how lucky he is to have her and treats her right,” Mark says sincerely as their chuckles subside. “A love like that seems rare these days.”

Tom reaches over to clap Mark on the shoulder. “No worries, mate. Did you see the dopey grin on Charles’ face in those paparazzi pics of them together that came out earlier? That man is whipped with a capital W. He knows he’s got a keeper.”

“As he should,” nods James sagely. “Behind every great Ferrari champion is an even greater woman keeping his ego in check. Tale as old as time.”

On that note, the guys clink their pint glasses together, silently saluting the unnamed woman who stole the heart of Charles Leclerc and the envious admiration of Formula 1 fans worldwide. The mystery girlfriend with impeccable style and a heart of gold.

As the pre-race coverage starts up on the bar TV, the guys settle in to cheer on their favorite driver, their fleeting jealousy replaced by the camaraderie and excitement of race day. But in the back of their minds, a single wistful thought remains — what they wouldn’t give to find a love like Charles and his girl seem to share. Guess that’s just one more thing to add to the list of reasons to idolize Charles Leclerc.

***

Among the hordes of viewers obsessively replaying the clip are three best friends gathered for a girls night at a posh Parisian penthouse. Colette, the willowy blonde draped across a velvet chaise lounge, takes a sip of her champagne and shakes her head in wonder.

“God, can you imagine having a boyfriend who just casually drops 10k on you like it’s nothing? Talk about relationship goals,” she sighs dreamily.

Next to her, Nadia snorts derisively while scrolling through Instagram on her phone. “Oh please, like that’s hard to find. I bet loads of rich guys would do that for their girlfriends. It’s not that impressive.”

From her perch on a tufted ottoman, Stephanie raises a skeptical eyebrow. “Really? You think Liam would send you that kind of cash without batting an eye? Mr. I-Need-To-Check-With-My-Financial-Advisor-Before-I-Buy-A-New-Tie?”

Colette erupts into giggles at the scathing impression of Nadia’s banker boyfriend. Even Nadia cracks a reluctant smile before tossing her sleek dark hair.

“Whatever. I’m just saying, that TikTok chick’s boyfriend can’t be THAT special. I’m sure if we did the same challenge our boyfriends would come through too,” she declares with more than a hint of competitiveness in her voice.

“Oooh yes, let’s do it! Let’s recreate the video and see what happens!” Colette squeals, bouncing up and down on the chaise with excitement.

Stephanie, ever the voice of reason, looks uncertain. “I don’t know, guys ... isn’t it a bit tacky to demand money from them like that? What if they get mad?”

Nadia rolls her eyes. “Oh come on Steph, live a little! It’s just a silly experiment. Where’s your sense of adventure?”

“Okay, okay fine,” Stephanie relents, unable to resist her friends’ cajoling. “But I’m blaming you both if Omer breaks up with me over this!”

“Deal!” Colette grins impishly as she grabs her phone. “I’ll go first — let me call Henry and we’ll see if he’s as generous as Mystery Monaco Man.”

With a deep breath, she dials her property developer boyfriend and launches into her rehearsed plea as soon as he picks up. “Baby!” She whines. “You’ll never believe what happened. I’m out with the girls and my Louboutins broke! Like the heel just totally snapped off. I’m absolutely gutted, these were my faves. Is there any way you could send some money to my account so I can grab a new pair on the way home? Pleeeaaase, I’ll love you forever!”

There’s a heavy pause before Henry’s clipped voice comes through, tinged with annoyance. “Christ, again with the bloody shoes? What is it with you women and wasting my hard earned money on bits of leather you don’t need? Can’t you just take the broken ones to get fixed?”

Colette’s perfectly glossed pout trembles, her blue eyes shining with disappointed tears as Nadia and Stephanie look on in pity. “Never mind,” she mumbles. “Forget I asked. Chat later.” She hangs up and flings her phone down despondently.

“What an ass,” Nadia spits. “You deserve so much better.” Colette shrugs sadly but rallies as she turns to Stephanie expectantly.

“Okay Steph, your turn to give Omer a ring! Let’s hope he restores our faith in rich boyfriends everywhere.”

Stephanie grimaces but dutifully calls her Qatar-based hedge fund manager beau. In her most saccharine voice, she makes her case. “Habibi, you know that gorgeous YSL bag I showed you last week? It finally came back in stock but only for today! Could you maybe pop some cash in my account so I can treat myself? I’ve been working so hard lately and-”

“Wallahi Stephanie, how many handbags does one woman need?” Omer cuts her off irritably. “If I buy you this one, I don’t want to hear any more whining for designer things for at least 6 months, got it? I’ll send you 500 euros, that should more than cover it.”

“Oh. Right. Thanks, I guess ...” Stephanie replies glumly before ending the call. She shakes her head at her friends. “Well, it’s something at least?”

“Hardly,” Nadia scoffs. “These men, I swear. Okay, time for me to show you girls how it’s done. Watch and learn, ladies.”

With a confident smirk, she video calls Liam who answers distractedly, clearly still at the office despite the late hour. “This better be important Nadia, I’m right in the middle of-”

“Liam. Focus,” Nadia cuts him off crisply. “I need you to send €10,000 to my account right now. No questions asked.” She arches a commanding eyebrow, daring him to argue.

Liam just blinks at her for a moment before letting out an incredulous laugh. “I’m sorry, you need me to do what now? 10 grand, are you mad? For what possible reason?”

“To prove you love me,” Nadia retorts smugly. “I saw this thing on TikTok, some girl’s boyfriend sent her-”

“Oh for fuck’s sake,” Liam interrupts. “I’m not one of your little social media playthings to manipulate for views, Nadia. My money is not a toy. I’ll buy you a thoughtful gift for your birthday next month, but I’m not in the business of flinging cash at you for no reason. Now if you’ll excuse me, some of us have real work to do. Goodnight.”

With that he abruptly ends the call, leaving Nadia staring at the blank screen, a red flush of embarrassment and anger creeping up her elegant neck. Stephanie and Colette exchange knowing looks.

“So … that went well,” Stephanie quips sarcastically.

Colette sighs morosely as she flops back onto the chaise, hugging a silk pillow. “Maybe that girl’s boyfriend really is one of a kind. God, I bet she feels like the luckiest woman alive. Can you even imagine being THAT loved and adored?”

Nadia seems to deflate, her bravado evaporating. “No,” she whispers. “I can’t. You’re right, Col. Mystery Monaco Man is clearly in a league of his own. I bet he makes her feel like an absolute queen every damn day.”

Stephanie nods thoughtfully, twirling a lock of hair. “You know what though? Good for her. She seems lovely and down-to-earth in the video. If anyone deserves that fairy tale romance, it’s a girl like that who doesn’t even realize how special it is.”

“Ugh, so true. god I’m depressed now,” Colette groans, reaching for the champagne bottle to refill her glass. “To Mystery Monaco Man — may he set the standard for rich boyfriends everywhere. And to the girl who’s lucky enough to love him — may she live happily ever after and never take a single moment for granted.”

“Hear, hear,” Nadia and Stephanie chorus, clinking their glasses against Colette’s.

As the bubbles fizz on their tongues, the wistful faraway looks in their eyes betray the same thought — what they wouldn’t give to trade places with you for just a day, to know what it feels like to be cherished so completely by a man like Charles. To them, you’re living the ultimate dream.

If only they knew the best part isn’t the extravagant gestures or lavish gifts.

It’s the little moments. The soft kisses pressed to your temple. The fingers intertwined with yours. The sleepy smiles over morning coffee. The shared laughter and inside jokes. The unwavering support and unconditional acceptance. The bone-deep feeling of safety and coming home.

That’s the real fairy tale. And no amount of money could ever buy it.

***

Back in Monaco, Lando Norris slouches comfortably in his gaming chair, eyes glued to the triple monitors in front of him. He’s meant to be reviewing telemetry data in preparation for the upcoming race weekend, but the notification chime from his phone proves far too tempting. Lando picks up the device, fully intending to only glance at it for a second before dutifully returning to his work.

But then he sees it — the TikTok that at least a dozen people have sent to him in the past hour alone. Curiosity piqued, Lando clicks on the video and watches intently, his brows steadily rising towards his hairline with each passing second.

“Wait, is that ...” he mutters to himself as the clip plays out. When your boyfriend’s voice comes through the speakers, Lando’s eyes bug out comically. “Holy shit, it is Charles! And Y/N!”

A knock on the door makes Lando jump slightly. Before he can respond, a familiar mop of tousled chestnut hair pokes into the room. “Hey mate, did you see-” Max Verstappen starts to say.

“The TikTok of Charles simping hard for Y/N? Yup, watching it right now,” Lando finishes for him, eyes still glued to his phone screen in fascination.

Max invites himself into the room fully and flops down on the couch. “Absolutely crazy, right? Who just casually sends their girlfriend 10k for a random pair of shoes?”

Lando snorts. “Certainly not you, you stingy Dutchman,” he ribs playfully. Max chucks a throw pillow at him in retaliation.

“Hey, even I splurge on my girlfriend sometimes!” Max protests. “I just bought her ... erm ...” He racks his brain trying to remember the last lavish gift he purchased unprompted.

“A six-pack of Sugar Free Red Bull last week?” Lando supplies dryly.

“... Shut up.”

The two dissolve into snickers before turning their attention back to the TikTok, which has now looped to the beginning again.

“Charles is so whipped for Y/N,” Max observes, shaking his head in amused disbelief. “He’s just asking to get taken advantage of, throwing money around like that.”

“I think it’s kinda sweet,” Lando admits with a shrug. “He just wants to make her happy. Don’t act like you wouldn’t do the same if your girl asked!”

Max scoffs. “What, fall victim to a gold digger? No thanks mate.”

“Y/N’s hardly a gold digger and you know it,” Lando chides. “She works hard for her own money and buys plenty of expensive gifts for Charles too. They just like spoiling each other ‘cause they’re in luuurve.” He draws out the last word in a silly voice, making dramatic kissy faces.

“Yeah, yeah, true love and all that sappy bullshit,” Max says dismissively, though there’s no real heat behind it. “I’m just saying, no way in hell I’m sending 10k on command for a pair of fucking shoes!”

Lando hums thoughtfully. “I would.”

Max’s head whips around to stare at him incredulously. “You what.”

“If it was the right girl? Sure, I’d do it,” Lando says nonchalantly. “Maybe not for something frivolous like shoes, but if my girlfriend called me up and said she needed 10k transferred ASAP? I’d do it, no questions asked. You gotta have that level of trust.”

Clearly torn between wanting to take the piss out of his friend and feeling a reluctant sort of respect, Max just grunts noncommittally in response before turning back to rewatch the clip once more.

Debate rages online among the fans about the cute interaction. Most find the whole thing adorably romantic, cooing over what a doting and generous boyfriend Charles is. They swoon at the obvious love and care between you two, speculating excitedly in the comments about when Charles might pop the question.

Others are more cynical, rolling their eyes at Charles “simping” so hard and accusing you of only dating the Ferrari driver for his money. However, these naysayers are quickly drowned out and ratio’d by your legions of adoring supporters.

Through it all, you and Charles pay the speculation little mind, blissfully wrapped up in your fairytale romance.

Charles returns home that evening to the mouthwatering aroma of his favorite pesto pasta dish wafting from the kitchen. He grins when he spots you at the stove, swaying your hips to the sultry jazz music playing from the speaker as you stir the sauce. Quietly, he comes up behind you and slips his strong arms around your waist, pressing a kiss to your temple.

“Mmm, smells amazing,” he murmurs appreciatively.

You turn in his embrace and loop your arms around his neck, smiling radiantly up at him. “Welcome home, Cha-Cha,” you greet him, using the silly pet name that never fails to make him chuckle and scrunch his nose adorably. “Dinner’s almost ready.”

“And what’s for dessert?” Charles asks with a playful waggle of his eyebrows.

Biting your lip coyly, you untangle yourself from his arms and saunter off towards the bedroom. “Come find out after we eat. Oh, and I picked up a little something special to express my gratitude for earlier ...” you call over your shoulder with a wink.

Charles’ megawatt grin could power all of Monaco for a year. Viral TikTok or not, the Monegasque knows he’s already the luckiest man in the world to have you as his partner through this crazy ride called life.

No amount of money could ever compare to the joy of being loved by you.

[ham1lton]

another day, another drama.

pairing: lando norris x fellow driver’s sister!reader.

summary: the one where you think o/s is hiding something from you, so with the help of your boyfriend and his friends, you try to figure it out. too bad you find more than you bargained for.

author’s note: part of the nepo sister universe. i fear we might be coming to the end of the nsu soon…. also there is a poll at the end, help a struggling writer out and vote pls mwah.

— part one | part two (coming soon).

————————————————————————

liked by oldersistersbff, yourbff and 287,737 others.

yourusername: just saw these pics of my bf and burst into tears. fuck f1 for taking my bf and my sister away from me….

oscarpiastri: ur welcome ☺️

-> yourusername: SICK SICK MAN!!!! 😒😒

user1: not u acting like a war widow 😭

-> yourusername: my husband (boyfriend) has been taken as a prisoner of war (forced to do his job) thousands of miles away (no this part is actually real).

user9: i’m new to this. are they lovers?

-> user8: worse.

*liked by oscarpiastri.*

formula1: we apologise yourusername! but you’ll see him soon we promise! :)

-> yourusername: RETURN MY BF IMMEDIATELY….

-> user5: girl what about your sister??

-> yourusername: she’ll be fine 😘

user6: girl um did u see ur sister’s newest interview???

-> yourusername: no??!! BRB!

————————————————————————

liked by zendaya, simonebiles and 3,288,728 others.

vogue: the paddock’s princess came to talk to us about being our newest cover girl, winning her most recent championship, going viral, her love life and what her favourite smoothie combination is.

user3: shes so cute 🥺🥺

user1: o/s has been notoriously single since her breakup with paul like five years ago… why is she giggling and smiling when asked about a man???

-> user2: no i noticed that… omg is she seeing someone?

user7: face card never declines!

user4: when gav told her that she’d won and the first thing she did when she left the car was hug him and cry??? she’s so cute. i’m so glad i live in the y/n domination era.

-> user5: the edits with that video are sick… o/s is keeping the tiktok editors in business.

-> user9: have you seen the ones about her and lando to the song lacy??? INSANE…

-> user5: DM ME RN

user31: her saying she doesn’t ever want to be defined by her wins and rather by who she is a person. we love a charitable queen!

yourusername: love life… hmmm….

-> user4: oh no….. she’s plotting 😭

————————————————————————

————————————————————————

liked by oldersistersbff, user72 and 2,833,617 others.

oldersister: family reunion.

yourusername: no credits for the pics??

-> oldersister: no. you take enough credit from my card.

-> yourusername: … fair.

user1: she’s deadass married wth.

-> user6: family reunion out of nowhere? talking about her love life suddenly after years of not even having one? photographed with two separate men?? shopping with o/s/bff in a bridal boutique and cordoning off the area?? it’s adding up sis ur not even delusional for this one….

user9: WHO’S UR MAN @/oldersister

user5: stop with the married jokes y’all…. i can’t lose my queen to some MAN….

user3: are you planning on changing ur surname from l/n.

-> oldersister: never.

-> user16: oh so you do see these comments…

————————————————————————

————————————————————————

SPYING TRANSCRIPT - THURSDAY, 6PM.

- written by LANDO NORRIS, for his boss Y/N L/N.

LANDO NORRIS - i think she’s dating carlos. i’m putting my cards out there.

OSCAR PIASTRI - put your cards back. no way that’d happen. i think she’s dating someone else. look at these photos. that guy isn’t carlos.

DANIEL RICCARDO - just tell y/n she’s dating me and we can all go to sleep. i mean look at my incredible good looks, it would be sacrilegious to not want me.

PIASTRI - if she was gonna go for the hottest driver on the grid she’d go for lewis or charles.

CHARLES LECLERC - oh thank you oscar! very nice.

NORRIS - you’re moving away from the point. wait… is someone knocking on the door?

(everyone looks at each other concerned)

RICCIARDO - oh i ordered pizza. i forgot. my bad!

LECLERC - how about her dating another athlete? someone who understands this life but won’t affect her position here.

NORRIS - smart… what athlete has she been seen with recently?

PIASTRI - according to social media, simone biles?

NORRIS - isn’t she married? nah, who else.

RICCIARDO - she was telling me the other day that she went to the psg game. i asked her why and she said she had a friend who played for them.

LECLERC - kylian mbappé? that makes a lot of sense actually….

NORRIS - do you feel a kin to him? i mean, you’re both frenchmen after all.

(OSCAR PIASTRI would like the transcript to include the following: — after this, charles hit lando. i laughed.)

PIASTRI - it could be that this is all a big misunderstanding. she could have been shopping for a bridesmaid dress. why would she get married and not tell her sister who she’s incredibly close to? that makes no sense to me.

RICCIARDO - anyways….

NORRIS - what about leonardo dicaprio!

LECLERC - she is under 25….

————————————————————————

————————————————————————

taglist: @23victoria @luckyladycreator2 @mxdi0 @booksandflowrs @charlesleclercsonlywife @casperlikej @nichmeddar @decafmickey @evie-119 @ironmaiden1313 @d3kstar @blupblupfish @demvnsriot @raevyng @namgification (don’t see yourself or wanna be removed? send an ask!)

— don’t wanna miss an update? join my taglist!

[venusacrossthestars]

sharp or dull

pairing- Lando Norris x fem!reader

summary- Lando has begged you to stream with him, you will on one condition- it has to be an ASMR stream

wc- 1.7k

a/n: I wrote this in one sitting bc I cooked this up as a nighttime scenario, because I am an ASMR hoe, hope you enjoy! I also tried something a little new, I added the 'chat' section of the stream, you'll see what I mean. idk if I'm a fan of it or not.

f1 masterlist

Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response, or better yet known as ASMR, had taken TikTok, YouTube, and nearly every other social media platform by storm. To you, ASMR was a calming and relaxing way to unwind after a long day. And as an ASMR-artist you were constantly trying to find new ways to bring that experience to your viewers

Lando, however, could never understand the appeal of ASMR. He didn’t find it relaxing, calming, or anything of the sorts. He much preferred to fall asleep in pure silence, maybe the sound of a fan once in a while. While he didn’t understand it that didn’t mean he didn’t support you and your ‘art’. 

“Babeeee,” Lando whined. 

“What?” 

“Stream with me, pleaseeeee.” 

You rolled your eyes for what felt like the hundredth time. Lando had been begging you for days to with him. Why? Well, when you asked him his exact words were, “Because I get lonely.”  And while you loved Lando, sitting there while he played whatever random game he could find just to keep him company, did not sound appealing. 

“Landoooo,” you draw out in response to his whining. 

“Baby please,” he begs again, “I’ll even let you choose what we do, I swear.” 

A lightbulb goes off in your head. “Anything?” 

“Yes?” He replies, curious to your response. 

Your face breaks out into a grin, “And you promise you’ll do it.” 

Lando takes a big gulp, “What are you planning woman?” 

“Promise?” You hold out your pinky and shake it at him, awaiting his answer. 

He takes your pinky in his, “Promise.” 

Its a week later when Lando is finally able to stream and you couldn’t be more excited. You still haven’t told your boyfriend of your plans. 

“Babe, what are we doing? I need to know so I can set up.” 

“Don’t worry about setting any of your games up. We are going to be doing something else,” You tell him. 

Lando shoots you a confused look, “Care to let me in that pretty head of yours.” 

You giggle, “Well since you said we can do anything of my choosing we will being doing an ASMR stream!” You throw out your hands excitedly. 

Lando looks less than thrilled, “No.” He says flatly. “I meant like you could pick out the game or a challenge. I am not doing ASMR.” 

“You should’ve specified the terms then Norris. And if I am remembering correctly you pinky promised on ‘anything’, can’t go back on that.” 

“Babe I'm not doing ASMR.” 

“Fine then you can stream by yourself.” You cross your arms across your chest and give Lando a pointed look, you were not backing down. 

“No.” 

“You wouldn’t even have to do anything! I would be doing all of it!” 

“No.” 

“Not even a head massage?” 

“No.” 

“Not even sharp or dull?” 

This is when you know you have him hooked. Lando can tell everyone that he doesn’t care for ASMR, that he doesn’t find it relaxing, all that jazz. But you know something they don’t. You know that this man is a sucker for the ‘sharp or dull’ genre of ASMR, and since Lando has sworn you to secrecy you were unable to share this juicy piece of information with the world. 

“... fine, I am only doing this because I love you.” 

As Lando was setting up the stream you were busy gathering your supplies that were spewed about Lando’s streaming room, which at times doubled as your recording studio when you filmed for your YouTube channel. 

Lando went live, muting his mic while being black-screened. You could see the comments flooding the chat:

landonorizzzzzzz- LANDO STREAMMMMMMM pizzaparty124003- about time!! we were in a drought! carlando4lifeeee- HE”S BACK FROM WARRRRR justaninchident- WE CAN”T SEE YOU papayaboyzzz- LANDOOOOOOOOO

Lando unmutes his mic, “I know you can’t see me chat.” 

You whack his arm, “Lando, be nice.” 

carlando4lifeeee- IS THAT WHO I THINK IT IS???? landoandy/naremyparents- MOTHER IS HERE justaninchident- DEFEND ME MOTHER PLEASEEEEE sofishdicatedaf- OMG WE ARE GETTING A Y/N AND LANDO STREAM??

Lando finally turns on the camera and chat continues to lose their mind, “Yes chat, Y/N is here.” 

You wave at the camera, “Hiiiiiii!” 

“Do you want to tell them what we are doing today or do want me?” 

“I can tell them. Chat, today we are doing something I am a literal professional at.” Lando rolls his eyes, “Don’t roll your eyes at me mister, you begged me for a literal week to stream with you.” 

landoandy/naremyparents- HE BEGGED HER TO STREAM WITH HIM?!?!!  y/nismymotherfrfr- RELATIONSHIP GOALS papayaboyzzz- lol simppppppp

You glance at chat, laughing at their reaction, “Yes, he’s been begging for me to do this for a long time! I only agreed once he pinky promised that we could do whatever I want. And I chose,” you pause in suspense, “to do ASMR on my lovely boyfriend.” 

“Yay,” Lando says enthusiastically. 

“Stop. You are going to love it.” 

“If you insist.” 

You launch into explanation, “So as some of you know I run an ASMR account on YouTube and TikTok and today I’ll be doing a couple different ‘triggers’ on Lando.” 

“A couple? I only agreed to one,” he interrupts you. You shoot Lando a pleading look and it takes only a few seconds before he is admitting defeat. “Fine, only a couple though.” He glances at the screen where the chat is displayed, “Call me a simp all you want, at least I have a girlfriend to simp over.” 

“Chat, don’t mind him, he only found out what I wanted to do like 20 minutes ago. But as I was saying before I was rudely interrupted is that I’ll be doing a couple different ‘triggers’ that are pretty popular amongst my audience such as- sharp or dull, head massage, hair brushing.” 

After your explanation you get up from your seat and gather your supplies as Lando messes with the camera and mic. 

“Lan, can you scooch back just a tad?”

“Hmm? Oh, of course baby.” 

“Thank you,” you give him a small kiss on the crown of his head.

“So I am going to start of with the head massage and hair brushing first,” you explain to chat, moving to speak in your softer, slower tone that you use while filming, “Then for the grand finale I’ll do the sharp or dull.” 

Lando always turned to putty when you played with his hair, you weren’t expecting this to be any different, well minus the fact that a bunch of fans were watching. At first you weren’t sure if the mic was even picking up on any of noise but one quick glance at chat seemed that they were all enjoying it. For multiple reasons, you were sure of it. 

After five-or-so minutes of head scratching you decide to check in on your completely silent boyfriend. “Still doing okay baby?” You ask, voice nearly a whisper. 

“Yeah, I’m doing great,” Lando response at full Lando volume. 

papayaboyzzz- MY EARSSSSSS sofishdicatedaf- tell me why I had my volume all the way up and this man decided to talk FULL VOLUME WHAT THE HELL LANDO ass-mr- this man has no idea how to asmr asmrismycrack- no bc why? his gf is literally an asmr PRO

You chuckle at the comments, “Baby you have to be quiet.” 

“What? Why?” He turns around, looking at you confused. 

“Because having people talk loudly, or practically screaming in your case, isn’t really relaxing to listen to.” 

“Oh, sorry,” Lando drops his voice to a much quieter tone, giving you a sheepish smile. 

“That’s okay baby.”

You go move through a couple other triggers, and around the 20-minute mark you decided to wrap things up, “Ok, since I don’t want to bore all of you we are going to move onto the sharp or dull. Then, I don’t know, maybe a Q and A or something.” 

Once again you explain the sharp or dull concept to Lando and the chat, “By the way chat this is Lando’s favorite genre.” 

“Lies, I don’t watch ASMR.” 

“You’re the only one telling lies. You love sharp or dull ASMR, it’s the only one you watch.” 

“Babeeee,” Lando whines, “You were sworn to secrecy.” 

You shrug your shoulders, “Whoops.” 

“Now no one will think I’m cool.” 

“I don’t think you needed any help with that.” Lando looks at you offend that you would say such a thing, you grab his head and turn his face back to the camera. “Okay close your eyes and tell me if this is sharp or dull,” 

You alternate between poking Lando's face with the Q-tip or the toothpick that you have in your hand. Lando gets every guess correct but as you go on you can tell by how his voice gets quieter that he is getting more and more tired. Maybe doing this stream late at night wasn't the best idea. 

“Ok, I think that’s enough.” 

Lando groans at his cut off, “Chat I don’t think I’m gonna make it.” 

You giggle at his sleepiness, “Next time we can do something you want, but for now I think it’s time for bed.”

Lando hums in agreement, “Goodnight everyone! Thanks for tunning in!” 

You wave at the camera, “Goodnight!!” 

Lando shuts down the stream along with his PC and slumps in his chair, “What did you do to me. I’m ready to pass out.” 

“It’s the magic of ASMR.” 

“Fine, I guess it was the magic of ASMR,” Lando sighs out.

“Does that mean you like it now?” You ask, pulling him out of his chair. 

Lando collapses against you, his arms wrap around you as the two of you waddle towards the bathroom. “I only like it when you do it. That’s it.” 

“I’ll take it.” 

The two of you brush your teeth in silence, you watch as Lando can barely keep his eyes open. His sleepiness at your ASMR was a compliment in the highest regards. Lando reattaches himself to your back as you make your way into your shared bedroom. 

As you climb under the covers and reposition yourself in Lando’s arms you can feel his breathing steady out. 

“Babe?” He whispers. 

“Lan?” 

“You meant what you said?” 

“Meant what?” 

“That we could do whatever I want next time you come and stream with me?” 

“Well, anything within reason.” 

“Promise,” Lando wiggles his pinky.

“Promise,” you whisper back, interlocking his pinky with yours.

taglist- (crosses out names mean I couldn't tag you)

@arieslost @customsbyjcg-blog @gr1mes-cc @styl1shl1v @landoscardotcom @poppyflower-22 @blancastans @katiezdiarysblog @mrsstylez @jamieeboulos @xfuckoffx @motkanykodas @emi0358 @ab-127 @alrightysyaphrodite @sya-skies @liacoresstuff @leathersuitrry @travelingece1995 @kageyamas-milk @ugfuchvvvz @jupooo @alex0808 @caleysblog @jess-wither @cassymendezz164445 @rattiefattie69 @sadisticfries @lou-larcher5 @harrietstylinson7 @inlovewithdeadboys @rickyrivera11 @cleverpeachheropersona @loveyatopluto @elysyannemimi @arayofsunshineme @lilyevanswhore @slaygirlbossworld @jupooo @heyheyheyggg @eringaitskill

[maaaariii]

Realistic Hanma Shuji Boyfriend Hcs

(bc we all secretly know that he’s an asshole but just don’t wanna admit it.)

- He is NOT gentle. This man does not know how to not hurt someone when touching them. Like even if he doesn’t mean to he just has such a strong grip, it could probably snap your bone in half. If you’re walking in his space he *grabs* you and puts you in your spot- or if you tease him or say a joke at his expense he will laugh and smack the back of your head (boy or girl he doesn’t discriminate ❤️). He’ll pull your hair, pinch your cheeks (it doesn’t even feel cute it feels like ‘I wanna rip your skin off’) bite you..this guy has no chill when it comes to regular touching. (if you shake or hold his hand he’ll try to break your bones by squeezing jsut hard enough then letting go.)

-He says the most backhanded shit ever.

When you don’t wear makeup or style your hair he WILL NOT believe you. He can’t accept that women can be hot without makeup, im sorry but you’re going to have to teach him a lesson. Once you say that you’re not wearing any he’ll give you the dirtiest stink eye and scoff-sometimes even going as far to getting a tissue to wipe your face to see if there’s anything there. And when he finds nothing he’ll shut tf up (for like 10 minutes before bothering you about something else)

-He leaves sus comments on your online posts

Ig this one isn’t that bad but if you post on instagram or Tiktok or anything online, he will comment MULTIPLE TIMES saying weird things (maybe one comment will be dedicated to calling you pretty if you’re lucky) but the rest are stuff like ‘can’t wait to smash 🤑🤑🤑’ or that typical ‘I saw it you can delete now’. Either way make sure you don’t have any family on your social media ❤️(esp if you have strict parents) or just don’t give him any of your handles (he’ll probably find them anyway)

-Is always the loudest mf in the room

This man does not care about being a bother to you or you finding him annoying- even if he’s sat next to you he will yell in your ear and laugh louder than a speaker. Being in public with his loud ahh is….not for the weak ❤️ Saying this I’m also gonna add that he doesn’t have regular conversations- something as simple as you asking ‘how was your day’ can turn into him saying ‘then his guts fell out on my shoe smh’ (and he’s not physically able to be quiet so everyone else whose there hears it lucky you ❤️❤️)

Calls you mean stuff as a ‘joke’ (but kinda not a joke 🥲)

this is pretty self explanatory but unless you stop him the first time he says it he will call you a ‘whore’ a ‘slut’ and will tell you to stop ‘bitching’..but like not in the ‘you are a whore’ way. More like the ‘dayum girl why are you low-key a whore-‘ or ‘dressed like a hoe but i like that’ way (he said it in an affectionate way ig..)

(also sorry for being dead for like a year ig ☺️☺️)

[yrqrnc]

𖤐 ִֶָ 𓂃 STRAY KIDS : SMILING WEIRD AT THEM UNTIL THEY NOTICE

genre: fluff, crack, pranks

pairing: skz x reader

bringing the tiktok pranks back bcs i need funny headcanon ideas to write 😁🙏🏻

some member's parts might be a bit shorter than the rest bcs i wrote some while being sugar high at 2:50 in the morning so pls excuse that

leave comments, reblog, and feedbacks pls <3

𖤐 CHAN : —

is 70% concerned 30% holding his laugh

you approached him and started a normal conversation on a very normal thursday afternoon so he thought everything was nice and ok in the house and with you???

he guesses not, a minute or two into the talk 😟

bcs why are you smiling at him in a way that would summon his sleep paralysis demon at night???

he already sleeps so less now he fears he will have to sleep even less.

is too worried to say anything about it because what if this is actually your true smile and you’re just getting comfortable around him and he hurts your feelings by making a comment about it?

right????

but he’s also starting to get scared because wHAT HAPPENED TO HIS BABY YOU’VE NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE 😭😭😭 WHAT WENT WRONG ⁉️

PLS BRING THEM BACK 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

doesn’t say anything but gets so tensed during the convo and gives you this look that has you breaking character shortly after, bcs you burst out laughing and going back to that cute big smile he was used to and the one he adored.

(sorry, writer-break-in: now if anyone comments abt how they ugly laugh, i’m gonna smash my guitar on your head. chris says that’s cute, so it’s cute. you don’t get a say.)

then he’s like “oh ☺️ that’s it. here they are <3”

thinks about it when he lays in his bed at night tho

might make him rethink everything and consider your health (mental & physical) for a couple days 😕👎🏻

𖤐 MINHO : —

right, ok. so, he notices it so quick

this man is VERYYY very very observant and he knows you like the back of his hand

so the moment you flash your worst smile as he’s in the midst of talking, taking just the chance when he looked to the side for a sec—

he catches it from his peripheral vision, snaps his head at you and he goes 🤨⁉️ (15% concerned 85% judging)

stares at you silently for a while after that, trying to figure you out

🧍🏻😾❓️ (yes.)

when you act completely normal and ask him why he stopped, telling him to continue and all that, he cautiously goes back to saying what he had been talking about

but then you pull your shit again and he catches it this time too right away

(bcs he’s always looking at you when he’s talking. he looks at you when you’re talking too. he looks at you. he just loves looking at you, that’s honestly it. bro is just an eye-contact and make their knees weak type of person)

and he knows he isn’t high

looks straight at you and goes — “what’s wrong with this one... 😐”

and you’re all like “what??? 😠🦿🦿 what’s wrong w me???” bcs how dare he say that in that tone

“why are u making yourself look like that plushie whose face doongie scratched up last week”

LMAOOOO 😭😭😭 SAVE YOURSELF

so you’re throwing hands now (& terribly failing) and this is the only part of your stupid prank that minho is finding fun

𖤐 CHANGBIN : —

HELP.

doesn’t know if he should laugh or cry someone pls take him away from you 🙁🙏🏻

he’s just casually telling you about this sick rap that he came up with yesterday night in the studio

and you’re nodding and laughing, and he turns to focus on you more and finds you like: 😁 i mean 👹???

and the lOOK THAT PASSES THROUGH HIS EYES AND THE WAY HIS SMILE DROPS SO SLOWLY

WITH AN EYE TWITCH TOO

LORD HELP ME

no HELP SEO CHANGBIN ACTUALLY

bro freezes but then he tries to play it chill, chuckling and being like “right... 😄☝🏻 hahah hahahahah so i was saying... ”

but you keep doing it and he can’t ignore it anymore 😔

“...baby what’s wrong? do you feel sick?” and that too in such a scared voice yOU CAN'T KEEP UP THE ACT ANYMORE

once you tell him it’s a prank, relief washes over him like cold water on a scorching hot summer day and he laughs along with you

might haunt him when he’s alone in his studio at midnight tho

𖤐 HYUNJIN : —

judges you.

no i’m not even gonna try to be funny first

HE JUDGES 👨‍⚖️

you do it and he instantly goes “😦😣 what the fuck”

and you’re like “what? what happened?”

and he doesn’t even know what to say

then he switches up just as quickly and starts yapping again

but you do it again too

and he’s so fed up he goes “dude tf wrong w u 🙄”

and when you keep doing it, he starts iMITATING YOU TO MOCK YOU😭😭

now you’re both just flaring your teeth and gums at each other while cackling in between too, and anyone watching would’ve started praying honestly

later that day, after finding out it was a prank he’s just thinking... why is my partner like this... 😟

he loves u tho <3

𖤐 JISUNG : —

honestly bro...

he finds you adorable :(

like, you guys are casually talking one evening

and he���s telling you about this new anime he watched recently, that almost made him cry

and he’s telling you the amazing sad plot and all, and out of nowhere you just 😁

first he’s really caught off guard bcs... girl (gn!) what 😟 i said??? i almost???? CRIED??? HEARTBREAK?????

but then he just looks at you as you keep up w the goofiness when he speaks again, and he thinks to himself

:(“i love this idiot so much even tho i do feel half irritated and offended right now”

bcs even if you’re pulling your ugliest smile rn, he loves that sparkle in your eyes as you stifle a laugh back and the way almost break character everytime you make eye contact with him

sorry guys this is getting soft but

jisung just loves you very much ☹️☹️☹️

prank is all forgotten, you are just two young people in love <3

𖤐 FELIX : —

i would say he already knows what the trend is, but that’s really boring so let’s pretend that he’s actually getting fooled here.

the moment he sees u doing it, that epic felix thing happens again— where his smile gradually just drops and he has that :0 face in the funniest way

he isn’t sure if he should speak bcs what if that unleashes more of that demon in u 😓

he’s torn between two things actually: should he hug you and try to squish the demonic smile out of you, or should be just stay away and give u your space until ur okay again

bcs he isn’t sure about how fine you are with the way you’re smiling at him right now

he might just be like:

“haha hahahahah hahahah ok we laughed now can we pls have my partner and their sweet smile back 🙁”

genuinely doesn’t know what to do

half of him is scared, half finds you very cute, some other bits are thinking of ways to get back on a a prank of his lololololz

he decides to continue speaking bcs maybe you’ll get distracted by the talk and come back to him normally again

doesn’t happen. so now he’s just there and thinking abt how to fix u 😞🙏🏻

𖤐 SEUNGMIN : —

you hate him

you hate him so bad

he doesn’t give you any reaction AT ALL 😐👎🏻

you start off gentle at first, right, like doing it when he wasn’t looking and then gradually more intensely and so he could clearly see

but nothing. no weird looks. no comments. no judgement.

NOTHING AT ALL?!^#^*@#,

at some point you get all up in his face and you’re like 😁😁😁👹😁😁😁👹😁😁❓️❓️❓️

and mf just keeps talking like nothing is wrong or off

it gets you more and more frustrated with each passing second but man, if you’d put that irritation aside and looked more closely into his facial expressions,

you would’ve seen the way the corner of his mouth lifted in the slightest and that glint of mischief in his eye

but you don’t 🙄

when you finally give up and go “babe why aren’t you asking me why i’m smiling weird??? 😕”

he... he says... he’s like—

“huh? but don’t you always smile like that?”

damn y/n 😥💔 that’s how it was huh

you’re abt to poke his eyeballs out and then shit tears yourself

jk dw tho he’s just teasing you

he stays with felix enough to know about these ideas

and from how you’ve done multiple pranks on him before, everytime you do something weird or out of place now, he just assumes you’re onto some prank

𖤐 JEONGIN : —

HE GETS SCARED PLS DONT😭

NO LIKE he actually starts taking it in all the wrong ways

when he sees you smiling like that.. there’s this STORM of emotions that starts cooking up inside him 😭

“are they ok” “are they mad at me and trying to play it off” “is this a trick move” “is this a prank and if so how should i react that it would make me seem cool and—”

but then... SUDDENLY

he suddenly remembers this piece of information he read on the internet LONG time back, like, AGES ago !! that said like

if someone is having a stroke or about to, their smile will be crooked / really weird and off/abnormal

....

no way... right ?

HIS BABY 😟😕🥺🥺😭😭😭 (emojis are satire im not—)

“...baby 😨😰 i think... i think you’re about to have a stroke 😣 or ARE YOU HAVING IT ALREADY 😰😢😢 HAS IT STARTED😭⁉️”

now ur not sure if u should stop or continue and whether u should laugh, cry or bonk him in the head

but he’s just a jeongin 🙁🎀

[lunee43]

Okay soooo I might get bashed for saying this but unpopular opinion coming and a rant hopefully this is a safe space;

.

.

Six hundred strike was amazing musically: unlike many I enjoyed the beginning of the song but by the end I was a bit put off because how does Odysseus, a mortal defeat a literal god, not just a god but POSEIDON god of the fricken sea and earthquakes? Like it’s a cool concept but it’s just… makes Poseidon look and seem weak then in the ocean saga. Sure Odysseus became a “monster” but he’s still a mortal, I also find the “six hundred strike” silly like Odysseus did that?…. Using a wind bag?

I enjoy the concept but the plot kinda turns it off for me (not that it’s bad please don’t bash me) Poseidon is one of the 3 major gods, I feel like Odysseus was made to be too overpowered I’d understand if there was a power boost or divine intervention. Poseidon is made to seem weak which contradicts seeing him as a threat. It strays from the original Odyssey way more in this song, and the song is very amazing though I find it silly how Poseidon was defeated and how Odysseus is way too over powered.

And let’s talk about the animation, the person who made it is so very talented but I feel it doesn’t fit, the jet pack windbag? Boss battle? Interesting but it really put me off when I listened and watched it it kinda ruined the aspects for me.

Overall in the end I feel six hundred strike had a good concept and was very great musically but I personally didn’t like the plot of Odysseus defeating Poseidon so easily I mean the man has many different powers aswell? Anyways this is just my personal opinion

Another rant: Also I loved the song “I’m not sorry for loving you” though I feel like if I even said that out loud I’d be bashed by the fandom because, yes, calypso is a bad person I know but the song is really nice and musical it doesnt mean I like the things she’s doing to Odysseus.

Another rant (apologies); I feel like everyone is too blindsided with Odysseus, a lot of people blame everyone but him a lot like he’s just a “cinnamon roll who loves his wife so much and the crew are all a-holes” because like eurylochus he also made mistakes aswell he tries to keep his crew alive abd get home but we do have to accept that this was from Greek mythology he is a flawed character aswell and I enjoy him for that. It makes the audience connect with Odysseus.

Another thing, wisdom saga— I feel Telemachus is used like a child a characterization of a child or teenager unlike the 20 year old he is. It’s a bit off putting for me. And it’s possible to make him innocent and grown such as the use of Polites. Personally he’s like an embodiment of a child and it’s weird to me because he’s a prince and will be king, shouldn’t he have some roles?

Now another thing connecting onto what I just said about “Odysseus does no wrong” ALOT of people in the fandom seem to use Eurylochus as a scapegoat for their hatred and anger to who’s at fault when it’s really the gods and fate, it’s just something the fandom has created to put the anger on why Odysseus couldn’t get home quickly, and I can understand because we look through Odysseus’s perspective throughout the musical. But personally I feel like Eurylochus gets too much hate he is sadly the scapegoat. Even the crew, but it’s saddening because they also have lives, they had family, they are mere mortals what are they to do? What would you all do in these situations if you didn’t know Odysseus’s plans and inner monologues? How would you act?

It’s honestly saddening you can’t like eurylochus without a person spewing about why they hate him, heck I’ve even seen just simple cute TikTok and art about the man but people place hatred within the comments about the character. And it’s only him, you could like Odysseus, polites, perimedies elpenor, Circe, etc. but hate Eurylochus?

<<This is all I have to rant about this is a safe space on my acc for all opinions so you can comment your own opinions, just don’t be mean to eachother>>

(I’m most likely gonna get hate or bashed sadly for having these opinions though I genuinely enjoy the musical a ton. I feel the fandoms grown a bit toxic lately.)

[rosinaparker]

Skz 9th member

Genre: fluff, crack

pairing: platonic!skz x f!reader

warnings: cursing, flirty comments/touches

A/N: Heyy guys...let's ignore the fact that we have been gone for a whole month😃 inspiration hasn’t been flowing at all for us☹️ -Rose✩

When you first joined the group, it was quite hard to fit in. Jyp wanted to make a mixed group. A group that would blow the internet up. Since Chan was choosing the members, he made sure the girl would fit in with the others. It turned out that you were the perfect fit for the group. Singing, rapping, visuals, you had it all. Chan took you under his wing as the oldest, making sure you felt as comfortable as you could get.

The boys were quite nervous around you. I mean lets be honest, its quite nerve wracking to know that a girl is gonna be apart of your group, meaning you have to be respectful, tidy up your space, make sure that the friendship stays platonic. It was hard for some of them of course, having a cute girl in the dorms was definitely exciting but it never bubbled up into something serious.

After a few years of getting to know the boys, writing songs together, practicing, talking.. you got used to them, and so did they. Any suspicion of romantic attraction was thrown out the window in their mind. They saw you as their little sister, besides Jeongin since you’re a few months older then him!

Now you’re probably asking yourself; how do they act around me? Well…

Chan

Very sweet

Most likely a father figure at this point

Has this soft spot for you when you ask for certain stuff

Protective

Everytime the others flirt with you, he kinda just sighs, knowing damn well theres gonna be rumors about that again

He honestly gave up on trying to stop it and just started getting all lovey dovey with you too

Lays on top of you to make you groan in annoyance

Minho

You know how he’s called the butt hunter? Yeah none of that for you

My dude has never touched you inappropriately

Very VERY respectful, even after all these years

Though his mouth still runs when he gets the chance to say something flirty

Ruffles your hair alot

The way he smiles at Han? You get the same treatment

Changbin

Such a silly guy

Honestly just throws you around alot

Head pats

Everytime you’re doing your hair, he kinda sits in the corner just watching you

Not in a creepy way or anything, he just admires the way it falls

Dances the sassiest choreographies with you

Most of the tiktoks you guys have posted are all girl group dances

Hyunjin

Genuinely just melts looking at you /p

Finds you so precious

You know how he has that cute aggression towards jeongin? Yeah expect it to happen to you too

Gets you jewelry alot, just because you mentioned you like wearing it on occasions

Leaves soft lingering touches alot (by accident, like around the waist or neck)

Paints you 24/7

If you’re into art too, you guys would always go out somewhere quiet and just paint the scenery

And if not then you are drawing ugly portraits of each other

Everytime you decide to go out at night without bodyguards for whatever reason, he is always the first to say he’s going with you

No you can’t decline, even Chan says he has to go with you because you could get in trouble

Jisung

Biggest fanboy

Forces you to call him oppa

But you dont, and he whines about it

Most touchy out of all the members

Always has an arm around your shoulder or waist

He just likes to know that you’re close

He might’ve had a crush on you at the beginning of the trainee years

He was gonna take that one to the grave but hyunjin exposed him in a skz code episode once

Now all the stays mess around with him

You guys as a duo get in trouble the most

Absolutely pulls that 'going in for a kiss' move on you

Screams if you lean in

Falls asleep in your bed

Felix

Softie

He has this weird obsession with poking your cheeks

Since the beginning of trainee years, he spent most of his time around you

Mostly because you understood him the best (besides Chan)

Gets so upset if you’re upset

Real bestie behavior

You get in trouble together 2.0

Always takes you out to shopping because you’re most honest when it comes to the clothes he picks out

You guys have this special bond together

Singing karaoke in your bedroom>>

You usually like to pretend to kiss him, he never backs up though which ruins your joke most of the time and he loves it

Cuddles with you the most

Seungmin

His part time job is literally to tease the living shit out of you

Feels the need to be gentle with you

Probably because you’re a girl

You’re not a fan of it

He always gets you your favorite boba flavor

Has seen you cry the most

Has even spend over 2 hours just listening to you vent out your frustrations

You always make flirty jokes but he just pushes you away till you stop saying that shit to him

And if he isn’t pushing you away, then he gets real close to catch you off guard

Even though he always denies it on camera when the others mention it, he gets quite happy when you guys end up having to share a bed in skz codes episodes or other shows

His reasoning for it, is because you tend to wrap yourself around him which comforts him

Jeongin

Makes fun of the fact that you’re shorter then him

Pokes your sides all the time

Annoying Little brother and frustrated big sister behavior

Even though he doesn’t admit it, he wishes you were younger then him so he could take care of you just like the others do

He isn’t a fan of physical touch, so whenever you get too close he playfully looks disgusted

But if you’re in need of touch, he is very willing to give it

If he’s feeling like it, he likes to slow dance on stage at concerts

But he immediately gets embarrassed

It feels good to write something again😋 -Rose✩

[whaleofatjme1920]

Random mix of characters - sal fisher, alto clef, kondraki, and Ticci Toby - using their s/o’s titties as a pillow and just falling asleep there lmaoo

Sal Fisher, Dr. Clef, Dr. Kondraki, and Toby Falling Asleep on Their SO’s Chest

[GN!Afab reader]

[Warnings: it,,, gets a little suggestive? I mean, not really imo but be warned I do talk about tits. MINORS DNI.]

[AN: I describe ALL titties here (it’s kept very general; I don’t want to leave anyone out!!) but know my love is to those in the IBTC bc I’m biased <3]

Reblogs are appreciated!

Sal Fisher

Whatever’s comfortable is comfortable. Cares more about falling asleep to the sound of your heartbeat rather than the flesh on your chest. That said he has no preference whatsoever. I think Sal is boob guy through and through, loves them all. Literally.

I honestly think he’s a little shy telling you he wants to fall asleep in ‘such an intimate area.’ This doesn’t change if you were amab either! Sal isn’t a terribly bold guy. He’s always so respectful about asking too but doesn’t make it awkward. It’s a very natural thing between you two.

But he finds comfort snuggling up on to her chest and resting there. He’s worried he’ll like, suffocate you somehow? But it becomes to natural after a while he doesn’t even bat an eye. Mostly does this for nap purposes, sometimes for cuddle reasons. He actually prefers your head on his chest when cuddling!

He thinks you’re soft there. That’s all I really have to say on that. That and he gets to head your heartbeat, which makes the naps so enjoyable.

Dr. Clef

He’s a creepy man and makes lots of crude comments about “milkers” because he unfortunately was allowed access to tiktok but he doesn’t give a shit about the actual size. You could wear AAs and he’d still call them milkers.

Anyways yeah he’s gonna be your weighted blanket so buckle up baby. He won’t let you go. He wants a nap? Boom. Head down on your chest, he buries his face in them like he wants to suffocate and sleeps. Knocks right out. He’s also admittedly the most casual when it comes to this as well, using your breasts as a pillow whenever he feels like it.

He thinks that’s the most comfortable part of your body. Purely physically speaking—he does actually love you. Like clef is a pretty decent partner when he wants to be.

He finds it quite relaxing in the sense of de-stressing from the day. He’s kinda bad at coping mechanisms and doesn’t know how ask for help. So, when he wants to take a nap on your chest, and you’re willing, let him. He needs it. Needs you.

Dr. Kondraki

He’s one of those guys that doesn’t care about size but might lean towards medium (whatever that means, what even classifies as medium??). But regardless of size, I don’t think he’s really too crazy about falling asleep on your chest that much.

It’s not really against you, but he’s busy. Like really busy. Doesn’t want to slow down and cuddle that much at all! But on the rare occasion he’s too tired and you’re begging him to rest? Yeah, that’s the first place he’ll rest his head as long as you’re able.

He thinks your heartbeat relaxes him and he honestly enjoys the warmth. You tend to run your fingers through his hair, sometimes braiding it, and it puts him right out. He feels safe just being held by you.

Enjoy it while it lasts the man won’t do this often. It’s just not in him. Sometimes, late at night you’ll get him to crack and he’ll place his head on your chest, getting lost in the softness but most of the times no. So really, enjoy it while it lasts.

Toby

Yeah look at him and tell me he doesn’t have an affinity for boobs. I think, purely aesthetically speaking because this is sfw, he likes the shape and well, everything about them. He won’t ever call them milkers but he does call them your chest pillows.

Yes, he is always laying his head on them. Always. You often can’t get him to stop when the two of you are together. He gives you these puppy dog eyes and asks if he can cuddle and it always entails him resting his head on your chest.

He will bury his face in them and eventually pass out. You think it’s due to the lack of oxygen at first but Toby doesn’t care, your boobs are soft and he’s sleeping. Don’t wake him even if it feels like he’s stopped breathing.

The whole thing is kind of a safety thing for him. He feels safe with you like this, and well, he’s comfortable. Your body is soft and comfortable to him. Normally, he feels this weird need to be a protector and provide to prove something but when you let him lay his head down on your chest? It kinda changes. He won’t admit it, but he likes being taken care of that way.

[mirage-aera]

•°. *࿐ Claim me

ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ : Meddle About - Chase Atlantic

Keegan Russ x Reader

Synopsis: You're known to be lost in your books and their fantasies whenever you're off duty. When word gets out that you've finally found a boyfriend who is not a character, no one believes you. So Keegan makes himself known as your boyfriend to stop the soldiers from bothering you any longer. Word count: 938 Masterlist

Inspired by a little TikTok of @ lockgan. He cosplays as Keegan, so for my Keegan girlies you should check him out! 👀

Surprisingly it’s a quiet day at Fort Santa Monica. You’re not needed to patrol the walls surrounding the base and the Federation has been quiet today. The soldiers are noticeably more relaxed and easygoing. They get to sit back and poke fun at each other. But that also means lips are looser around the base. You decide to not take part in their gossip, instead, you spend your time on your beloved books. Finally being able to catch up on lost reading time. If Keegan wasn’t still busy then you would’ve opted to spend some time with him, but understandably he’s a busy man.

You haven’t gotten together for long. At most, it’s been a couple of months. But you can already see yourself grow old with him, despite all of the difficulties you’ll face. Apparently, word has gotten out that you have recently gotten a boyfriend. They don’t know yet who, so that has been the talk around Fort Santa Monica. People can’t believe that you, a bookworm, have gotten a boyfriend. You’ve approached Keegan with this, you've told him that if he’s bothered by rumors swirling around you, you can set your foot down and tell them who your boyfriend is. He just laughed and said, ‘let them find out who your boyfriend is. They’ll find out sooner or later. The base is quite small.’ He winked at you before resuming his duties, which left you a flustered mess. Not used to his ways of teasing you.

You sit in the common room with a few other soldiers. So engrossed in the book you’re reading, you don’t notice them calling out to you. Eventually one of them stomps over to you, annoyed that you aren’t paying them any attention over your book. “Hey! Are you deaf or something?!” He says exasperated while grabbing the book out of your hands. You look up at the person in annoyance, “I was reading that! Give it back!” He scoffs in response, “now you acknowledge me.” You look at him confused. He gives you a look and puts the book back down on the couch, “we’ve been trying to get your attention for minutes!” He waves his arms around in annoyance while motioning to his buddies. You sigh, “sorry. What do you want?” You ask curtly. Wanting to get back to your book as soon as possible. What you have failed to see is that Keegan has come looking for you. He’s leaning on the doorframe leading to the common room, watching your exchange with the other soldiers. Ready to intervene if necessary.

The soldier smirks at you, “I heard you have gotten a boyfriend.” He states as if it’s some sacred information. You raise an eyebrow, “I do.” You deadpan. He laughs, “so, why haven’t we seen him yet?” You chuckle, “you’ve seen him around I reckon.” At your comment, he raises an eyebrow. Getting ready to speak before getting interrupted by one of his buddies. “Are you sure he exists?” He asks snickering. You frown at him, “yes. He does exist.” Getting fed up with this stupid interrogation. “Now I would like to get back to my book if you’re done.” You state them. Subtly telling them to fuck off. The soldier who took your book from you looks at it, “I bet it’s just another one of your fantasies. He’s your book boyfriend isn’t he?” He chuckles as he points to the book. You glance at the book before scowling at him. “My boyfriend. Is real. Thank you very much.” You spit out. They all laugh at how bothered you’re getting by their taunts. “Just admit it. It’s all in your head.” The other speaks up. Just as you’re about to retort to his statement. You see a figure crossing across the room, standing in front of you protectively. Keegan.

“What’s going on here?” He says with his arms crossed. The one who grabbed your book speaks up, “we’re asking her about her so-called ‘boyfriend’. Who is clearly not real.” He smirks. Keegan lets out a dry chuckle, “her boyfriend?” The soldiers nod in unison. He narrows his eyes at them, giving them a cold look. “I’m the boyfriend. Do I look real, soldiers?” He states coldly. The way those men tense up and freeze at Keegan’s words is a sight for sore eyes. You let out a small chuckle. “I asked you something.” He says impatiently. As if they are being reprimanded by higher-ups they straighten up, “yes sergeant.” One of them stutters out. Keegan smirks at their demeanor before dropping it. “Get lost. If you pull this shit I again. I will hear about it. I will find you. And give you something to cry about.” He says menacingly. Even this got you surprised. You can’t imagine how they feel after hearing that. They all give him a quick salute before scrambling off.

You place a hand on his shoulder blade. He turns around to face you. He pulls you into his chest by your waist, kissing your forehead. He pulls away and looks into your eyes with a possessive look. “Claim. Me.” Two words. Two simple words that make your knees weak. Two words for one sentence, ‘tell them who your boyfriend is’. That is what he’s trying to convey to you. You feel your face getting slightly warm to the touch. You look into his eyes with love. “You’re mine.” You tell him. Two words for a simple sentence, ‘Keegan Russ is my boyfriend’. He smiles at your words, understanding what you are trying to say.

“I’m yours sweetheart. Don’t forget that.”

[sturn1olo-ffics]

“That’s The Way I Loved You”

- Chris Sturniolo x Fem Reader (she/her pronouns used)

- based off the song “The Way I Loved You” Taylor’s Version by Taylor Swift

- WARNINGS: kissing (making out ‼️), mentions of fighting/arguing, crying, break up but happy ending; NOT PROOFREAD

- ABOUT: Chris and y/n get into a huge fight over Instagram comments and she breaks up with him. A month after, y/n decides it’s time to put herself out there again. She finds a great guy, but he’s just not Chris. That’s when she realizes what she really wants.

“I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain. And it’s 2am and I’m cursing your name. So in love that you act insane. And that’s the way I loved you.”

(Y/N’s POV)

I sat down on my couch after a long day and decided to open up my phone and check Instagram. My notifications were blowing up and I didn’t know why.

Chris posted a picture of you at dinner the night before with the caption: “My girl.”

You smile and feel butterflies swarm your stomach as you like the post and comment “Cringe 🤓” just joking around with him.

You check the comments, only to see hate comment after hate comment being left.

User332: “Bro she’s not even pretty”

y/nhater617: “why is he lowering his standards for her 💀”

User984: “i hope they break up soon fr”

————————————————————————————

{ iMESSAGE }

Chris: Hey you free tonight or ??

Y/n: You wanna come over?

Chris: Ok mind listener

Y/n: You mean mind reader 😭😭

Chris: Whatever. I’ll be there at 5

————————————————————————————

(Time passes)

Chris was over at my house. He was leaned up against my counter and I was sitting on the island across from him.

Scrolling through TikTok, I realize that this is a good time to tell him how I’ve been feeling about his Instagram comments.

“Hey, can we talk about something that’s been bothering me?” I said with a frown.

“Uh- yeah sure. What’s wrong?” Chris said worriedly as he stepped closer toward me.

“I just- you’re Instagram comments are always full of people hating on me… and I was just wondering if-” I started to say before he cut me off.

“Just ignore ‘em” he says in a nonchalant manner, like he didn’t care at all.

“Can you tell them to stop or at least turn your comments off?” I asked in response.

“What? No. I’m not turning my comments off on Instagram. And there’s nothing I can say that will actually get them to stop.” Chris said in a defensive, almost angry tone.

“Can you at least try?” I started to get fed up.

“Y/n. Not everything is going to be perfect just for you.” the words slipped out of his mouth.

“What?” I said, tears filling my eyes.

“Y/n, I meant that I just can’t do anything about it. What do you want me to do? Become a magic wizard and cast a spell on all these little girls to stop hating on you? Even if I could, I still wouldn’t care enough.” Chris yelled.

“Wouldn’t care enough?” I said softly, tears falling out my eyes and running down my cheeks.

“Y/n- it’s just this kinda stuff is what you have to deal with- it’s like character development. It’s a part of life- a part of my life at least-” he started to say before I slid off the counter and started to walk away.

“I’m also a part of your life. And if this is what it’s going to be like, then I don’t want to be anymore.” I said while opening up my front door, signaling him out.

“Y/n, what? You’re gonna break up with me over this?” he said quickly.

“I just can’t right now, Chris.” I responded as he walked out and I closed the door behind him.

I slid down the back of my door, salty tears rolling one after another out of my eyes.

We had gotten in fights before, screaming at each other even, but this one was final.

(ONE MONTH LATER)

I met a boy while I was at the grocery store. His name was Henry and he was really cute and seemed super sweet. We got each others numbers and started hanging out almost every day.

—————————————————————————————

{ iMESSAGE }

Henry: Hi!! I’ll pick you up at 6 if that’s okay?

Y/n: Sounds great! Can’t wait.

—————————————————————————————

But the truth is, I could wait.

He’s sensible and so incredible. And all my single friends are jealous. But something just felt off, every time we were together.

It’s been a month since me and Chris broke up, and I knew I wanted to put myself out there. So why did this superhero of a guy just not seem like enough?

I started to think about Chris more and more. Which is weird because I started to not care about the break up about a week after it happened. I always seemed to move on quickly for some reason.

I picked my phone up and shot Henry a quick text, asking him for a rain check.

It actually was pouring down raining outside, so I figured he wouldn’t question it.

I put on “10 Things I Hate About You” and plopped down on my couch with a bowl of popcorn and a Pepsi.

Pepsi was Chris’ favorite drink, and it grew on me over time as well.

“I hate it when you’re not around and the fact that you didn’t call. But mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you, not even close. Not even a little bit. Not even at all.” the TV starts to play as I tear up.

Chris.

All I could think about was Chris.

He flooded my mind.

But why?

I started to get up and make my way to the fridge to grab the container of strawberries I was craving, but noticed I had already eaten them all.

“Great.” I said to myself. I really wanted those strawberries.

There was a grocery store at the end of my street, so I knew I could just walk down there and grab some.

I gather my things in my purse, put my shoes on, and grab my umbrella because it’s practically storming.

I reached for the doorknob, but before I could grab it, 3 knocks sounded at my door.

“Bruh I asked him for a raincheck. No way Henry’s outside my door right now.” I thought to myself.

I turned the knob and opened my front door, only to find Chris standing there. Soaked head to toe from the rain.

“Hi” he said out of breath.

“Chris?” I was confused.

“I take it you’re about to go hang out with Henry” he said, turning around.

“No, actually… I cancelled on him.” I said sharply.

Chris turned around and stared at me.

“What are you doing here?” I asked him.

“I- I don’t know. One minute, I was playing Fortnite on Twitch. And the next I was putting my shoes on to come here. I think I just-” he was saying before I cut him off with a kiss.

He leaned into the kiss almost immediately. Both of us getting soaked from the rain. But we didn’t care. We just craved each other.

He pulled back and tilted his head to deepen the kiss. One hand on my waist, the other on my back pulling me impossibly closer to him.

The kiss lasted for what felt like an hour, but was really 30 seconds.

“I’ve missed you. I’ve missed us.” I said with a smile, looking into his beautiful blue eyes.

He smiled back and pulled me into a longing hug.

“How about we go inside and dry off huh?” he joked.

“That, and you need to help me figure out how to let Henry down nicely.” I laughed.

“I love you, y/n” he said pausing his footsteps.

My heart jumped. He had never said this before.

“I love you too, Chris” I said with a smile.

—————————————————————————————

A/n: Hey guys! Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed. I’m trying to make my fics better, so let me know what I could change. Also, let me know what you wanna see next.

Thank you for 80 notes on my last fic!!!

[leemillion]

Theory Time!

Alright so I have an abundance of theories for The World of Mr Plant so I’m just gonna spill them all here. Maybe I’ll even update it as more theories arise, who knows ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

~Mr. Plant always loved Argos~

Now call me crazy but I think Mr. Plant always had a thing for Argos. He just didn’t fully realize/come to terms with it until the valentines episode. And even then he struggled to express emotions at first, but he’s been getting better at that.

Now adding on we all know Mr. Plant won’t hesitate to kill any minor inconvenience that comes his way. And Argos supposedly annoyed him to hell and back. So why didn’t he kill Argos? Sure he thought about it, but he never actually went through with it. It makes no sense to kill a random stranger just for a job but then leave someone you supposedly hate alive, but that’s just me:

Maybe he mistook his feelings for Argos as anger or tried to deny it by rationalizing it in some weird way. I mean it doesn’t seem like he has any relationship experience. Maybe this is his first time feeling these things and that’s why he was so hesitant and confused.

~Why Mr. Plant joined the scouts~

Now I find this one pretty wholesome. Mr. Plant doesn’t like kids at all so Argos being apart of the scouts was something he actively discouraged. Yet by the end of the episode he chose to join them 😌

Now I have 2 reasons for this. It could either be one of them or a mixture of both of them.

Reason #1 - After the incident with the “human” he thought “oh shit I get to kill people and murder people holy shit-“ and decided hey it can’t be that bad

Reason #2 - After the incident with the “human” he realized Argos and the scouts might need someone to protect them so he decided to join to keep them safe.

I think I like the second reason it’s so fucking wholesome. Argos and Mr. Plant have 3 unofficially adopted children now 😌

(One more thing that’s not important to the theory but I didn’t know where else to put it: On the phone Mr. Plant immediately ran over the second Argos mentioned he was “right across the way” Do you think Mr. Plant knew about the creep that lived there??? That he knew about him kidnapping and doing who knows what with kids?? And once he heard Argos was over there he was like “oh fuck no not my Argos 🔪” That’s so cute wtf 😭)

~Mr. Plant’s other half~

So we all know Mr. Plant is half banana leaf. But what about the rest of him? I’ve seen many theories of him being part walker plant, imitation plant, and even human. And I think imitation plant might make the most sense (I still like to think a small part of him is a walker though)

I mean in Gardening with Argos, Argos refers to some of his plants as his “favorite flower.” We all know Mr. Plant is obviously his favorite 🙄

Unless… Mr. Plant isn’t considered a flower at all?

Now this could be a stretch. Maybe there’s 2 types of plants. Those that are considered people and those that are considered just plants. But who knows.

~The mushrooms found Argos creepy~

This might not be so much of a theory as it is an observation.

At first when I watched this episode I thought “tf they mean creepy? He’s like the most normal guy here” And then I realized Argos looks the most normal to the viewers but not the other characters.

Every other character either has an object head, an animal head, a plant head, a body part head, and of course the “humans” with their uncanny ass proportions. Argos isn’t the most human looking thing in their world. In fact there isn’t anyone else in the void who looks like him.

Maybe that’s why he’s always seen as “weird” or “creepy.” Plus we never know much about his family. Just his great great grandfather banana leaf. Maybe his family is some rare species.

Holy shit what if they’re hunted for sport and that’s what those “accidental deaths” were??? Maybe not. Maybe I’m going insane.

~It’s been a long long time~

So I found this comment on a TikTok video:

I did the math and they’re correct. And if Argos is around the same age as Ashur is (23) then he’s been in this specific void since he was about 5 years old. He’s been marking up the days since he was old enough to write.

Meanwhile Mr. Plant moved in almost 2 years ago.

Argos was part of the welcoming committee then right?? I like to think he fell in love the minute he saw Mr. Plant 😌

So what’s next for them? Who knows but I’m rooting for lore in the next episode. Andddd I think that’s about it for theories for now, or at least until I suddenly come up with another. See you all next time :D

[goldenlikedayl1ght]

scott street - d. wagner

a/n: i am feeling super normal about my relationship with my dad! and i just need a little comfort right now. reminder that you aren't your parents, and step parents can be either your actual parent or the worst in the world! i would know. warnings: big angst, huge. reader and danny sneak off to fuck, and then again at the end of the fic, domestic abuse, divorced parents, step parents, neglect and trauma, cursing, uhhhh yknow. daddy issues, but i hate that term bc of tiktok, enjoy ! word count: 3.1k summary: he's your danny, even while putting the pieces back together. paring: danny wagner x fiance!gn!reader now playing: scott street - phoebe bridgers "do you feel ashamed/when you hear my name?"

It happened before your mom got remarried. You were back from school on summer vacation, after your stepdad helped you move out for the summer. It had been the end of your freshman year.

For weeks, you tried to convince your dad to help move you out, begging him to be somewhat active in your life. He hadn’t seen you since winter break, and that was only because you had to go over to his house. Because your brother begged you to give him a shot. But this time, he refused to help you move out. You don’t go to college that far from home, but he tells you he wants to save himself the trip if you’re just going to be home a few days later.

You don’t even have to ask your stepdad. He offers.

And this is what makes it not a big deal when he buys a car decal from your campus bookstore. It has your school’s logo, and says the name of your school, with ‘Dad’ next to it. You laugh and talk your whole trip home, and it doesn’t seem that deep. I mean, your dad has neglected you for years, treating you like a toy on a shelf, and you don’t even have to ask your stepdad if you can grab a snack for the trip home.

It’s just easier for you to be around him, and he really acts the way a father should. He isn’t even married to your mom yet, and you feel this great swell of love for this man, knowing that he’d be the one to be there without hesitation.

Your brother manages to convince you to go with him to get dinner with your dad a few days into your trip. In a few days, you’ll have people over. Your extended family, your brothers’ friends, and your friends from high school.

Well, your friend. Sam can’t make it; he’s having a root canal done.

But Danny will be there. Your Danny. Being in college hadn’t been enough to push aside your crush on your best friend. You suspected the summer would probably make that even more difficult. But you hadn’t seen him in a few months, and you missed him desperately. You focus on him to get you through the dinner from hell.

Your dad picks you up from your moms, your stepdad not yet home. You sit awkwardly in the front seat, anxious for a reason you can’t quite put a finger on.

But really, dinner goes sort of well. You push through the awkwardness of it all, and it’s not that bad.

Until he pulls into your driveway to drop you off. He sees the sticker on your stepdad’s car and starts screaming at you.

You scoff, telling him you find it rich that he’s making comments about your mom’s boyfriend when he let his wife absolutely torment you and your brother for years.

Before you can blink, he grabs you by the hair and smashes your face against the dashboard. He’s still screaming at you when you come to about ten seconds later. Your brother is screaming too, telling your dad to stop, and he’s pulling you out of the car. Blood runs down your face, staining a shirt you got from Danny. It makes you start to sob as you run into your house. You hear the slamming of car doors, and your brother follows you quickly, holding your bag and sweatshirt.

Your mom swears she’ll kill him, but you keep crying. You’re too sad to be angry. But you decide right then and there, you’re done with him.

When you go to the ER, they tell you that your nose is broken. They set it back into place and bandage it up, telling you to take it easy for a few days.

When you see Danny a few days later, he’s immediately concerned.

He holds your face gently, asking you what happened. You’re tired of explaining it to everyone.

“My dad. He banged my head into a dashboard a few days ago. Broke it.” You sighed. You see him tense.

“I’ll fucking kill him.”

“You’ll have to get in line.” You tell him. You take a sip of your beer. You move on from the subject quickly, asking how he’s been, what he’s been up to. He tells you that the band he had joined with the Kiszka’s is starting to pick up. You’re thrilled for him.

It’s hard to stay away from your attraction.

The night goes by smoothly, until there’s a knock on your front door. Your mom goes to answer it, and after a few minutes, she calls you over. Your dad stands there. He has a pile of papers in his hands.

“What do you want?” You ask, putting down your drink. He looks past you. Danny leans against the doorway to the hallway. You don’t ask him to leave.

“To give you these. I’m signing over my parental rights.” He tells you. It hurts more than the broken nose. You stay quiet. Inside you, you feel the ghost of your ten-year-old self screaming for her daddy, telling him to take it back. But you take the paper, and see he’s already signed and notarized them. “It’s been a long time coming.” You laugh, biting back tears.

“Fuck you. Get out of my fucking house, I don’t want you here.” You tell him, angry now. You want to yell, because he waited until three weeks before you turned eighteen to do this. It’s an extra punch to the gut.

“No more Christmases, no more birthdays, no more support, other than what’s mandated by the court.”

“Go to hell! You were never there for any of that shit!” You tell him. He just stares. “You broke my nose, if you care.”

“I’m sorry I hurt you, but I need to do what’s best for us.”

“Have a good fucking life.” You slam the door in his face. You ignore your mom’s gaze. You ignore Danny’s. You start to cry as you walk quickly through the house, dodging your family members. You make it outside to your backyard, where sobs rack your body. Someone says your name from behind you, and you know who it is.

You let Danny hug you, hold you, as you cry.  You cry for a long time, and he stays just like that, refusing to let you go. When you finally calm down, you’re laying your head on him when you ask him a question, and it breaks his heart into a million little pieces.

“Why doesn’t he want me?”

He just hushes you softly. But, you want an answer. You demand it of him, and he gives you one.

“Because he’s a fucking moron. You’re the best, you’re kind, and gorgeous, and fucking funny. You make me laugh constantly, and for so long you’re going to date men who remind you of him, because you’ll long for his love. But he doesn’t deserve your love. And what he does… That isn’t love. One day you are going to meet someone who never questions why you don’t talk to him, and they will be his exact opposite. You deserve that type of love.” He tells you.

You just look at him for a few minutes. Maybe it’s the alcohol. Maybe it’s the pain.

You kiss him. It lasts a few moments, and he kisses back. Then he’s pulling away, mumbling no…

No?

“We can’t. You’re drunk, you’re upset. I won’t kiss you just because you’re sad. I’ll kiss you when the time is right and you’re happy. I’ll kiss you when I know we’re both ready and in love.” He tells you. You feel betrayed. You know, somewhere deep down, that he’s right. That you both deserve a first kiss that isn’t full of angst and drama.

But you’re angry. Angry at your dad. Angry at Danny. Angry at yourself. Angry at God, who you haven’t prayed to since you were nine. You pull away from him, wiping tears that remain on your face.

“I think you should go.” You say softly. He knows you don’t mean it. But he respects your wish.

“I’ll call you tomorrow.” He tells you. “Don’t be a stranger.”

He leaves, and for a second time that night, you’re crushed that a man has left you despite telling him to go.

It’s been five years since that day. You’ve graduated college, and you spend most of your days waiting for Danny to get home from the studio or from a tour.

He finally kissed you again when you graduated college, promising to never let you go ever again. Promising to never let any other shit for brains guy hurt you because you wanted to be loved. He promises to hold your hand while you put yourself back together. He never insists on doing it for you, but he always supports you.  

You’ve been in therapy for a long time, and most days, you don’t think about your dad. You have your mom and stepdad. But somedays, it hurts. And it doesn’t hurt you, it hurts that same ten-year old who lives inside you.

But you ignore it. You focus on your career, your life, your boyfriend.

And one day, a few months before your brother’s wedding, he asks you to marry him. You say yes. It seems so natural; you’ve only been dating for just under two years, but you’ve been in love for as long as you can remember.

You love being engaged. You love thinking about him as your future husband. For you, there are few questions about the wedding. You’ll get married in early fall, you’ll have your mom walk you down the aisle, you’ll have red velvet cake, and Josh will sing your first dance song as well as officiate.

All these things seem very natural to you.

They’re not as easily answered as your brother. When his fiancé got pregnant right before your engagement to Danny, he began questioning whether he’d have your dad there. You couldn’t say you didn’t understand it. There were times you considered reaching out. And with a kid on the way, you knew why he would want his dad in his life again.

It doesn’t stop you from booking an emergency session with your therapist when he tells you he’s coming to the wedding.

He won’t be part of the wedding party, and he’ll have no part in any speeches or traditions. He’ll just be there to support your brother and his wife. You’ll barely notice him; Danny reassures you of this time and time again.

The wedding went well. You focus on your brother and his wife, your sister-in-law. You’re so proud of him. Danny watches you the whole time. He thinks about how you’ll look at the alter of your own wedding, and he melts a little at the thought. Your engagement ring looks lovely with the flowers your sister-in-law picked out.

During the cocktail hour, in between the reception and the ceremony, he can barely keep his hands off you. He’s pulling you out of the crowd, kissing you against the walls, telling you how pretty you are. You don’t really think about your dad.

You sneak off with him, and he takes you into a nearby empty room. An employee from the venue almost walks in on the two of you. You can’t stop laughing. You tell him you love him again and again. There’s something about someone so close to you getting married that thrills you in preparation for your own wedding.

You sit with your mom, stepdad, and your sister in law’s immediate family. Danny holds your hand as your sister-in-law’s sister makes her maid of honor speech. You make a speech too, your brother dubbing you his best man, regardless of your gender. Your sister-in-law dances with her dad. Your brother dances with your mom.

Your stepdad asks to dance with you to Goodnight My Angel, by Billy Joel. You oblige. While dancing, you tearfully ask him to dance with you to it at your own wedding. He agrees, happily. The photographer takes a photo of you during the dance.

And that’s the last time during the night that you’re truly sober, and you spend the rest of your night dancing with your mom, and with your fiancé. You love calling him that. You slow dance to your favorite songs, and that night, you decide your first dance song will be a Loggins & Messina song.

You’re getting a drink at the bar when he finally says something to you. Your father. His first words to you are as follows:

“I saw you dancing with him. To that song.” You laugh spitefully.

“With Danny? Yeah, I’m gonna dance with him, he’s my—”

“No. With your stepfather. Why would you disrespect me like that?”

“You left. You abandoned me. You wanted nothing to do with me. You have no right to comment on my relationship with my stepdad.”

He stands up to face you.

“You were disrespectful. Rude. Horrible. Out of control, I couldn’t deal with you!” You glare.

“You’re so full of shit. He was always more of a dad to me than you were.” You can tell he’s ready to hit you, but you feel a hand on your arm from behind. Your head whips to see Danny. Your shoulders slump. You’re immediately calmer. Your other hand goes up to lay on his hand, where his thumb is gently rubbing your forearm. It’s then that your father sees your engagement ring. You go to say something, but he cuts you off.

“Engaged?” You realize he didn’t know.

“Yeah. You remember Danny.” Your fiancé says nothing.

“Of course, I do. You always were in love with him.” It almost makes you smile, the way your dad remembered your crush on him. But you just as quickly remember when he called you a slut for having two boyfriends in a year. You just as quickly remember him leaving you and your brother for hours, days, at home with your stepmom who refused to let you eat any food. You just as quickly remember the pain from the broken nose, and the worse pain of him showing up at your door to sign away his parental rights.

“Yeah. I always was.” You grab your drink and take Danny’s hand properly now. “Have a good night.” You tell him, and you lead Danny away from him, leaving your father at the bar, where he was always meant to end up.

Danny says your name, asking you softly, “Are you okay?” You let out a shaky breath, taking a sip of your drink. Tears brim your eyes.

“I love you, Danny.” You tell him weakly. He can tell that that’s a no. He guides you away from the party, this time to not make love with you, but to comfort you. Tears run down your face as you lean against the wall in the hallway, feeling the thump-thump of the music from the party. He frowns and wipes your tears, shaking his head. “I thought seeing him wouldn’t hurt anymore.” You say quietly.

Sometimes the child that yearns for your father slips out. You can’t keep them inside in this moment.

“I know, baby.” He says gently. “…Do you want to talk to him more after this? Invite him to the wedding?” He isn’t coercing you, isn’t forcing you to. He’s only laying out your options.

“No.” you tell him. “I don’t need him. I’ve got you. I’ve got mom. I have Mark, and my father be damned, I have a fucking dad. Not that asshole. I have a dad, and it isn’t him.” You tell him. Danny nods.

“You have grown into an amazing young adult. I’ve been in love with you for so long, and I am so proud of you. You’ve grown so much, and you’ve made yourself a damn good life.” He tells you.

“Damn good.” You confirm, your voice breaking.

“Damn good. You’re right. He’s not your dad. Dads don’t do the things he’s done to you. He might be your father, but he isn’t your dad. And it’s okay to miss him, but you have an amazing life without him. And we’re gonna get married. And we’re never going to make his mistakes. You are nothing like him. We’ll get hitched, and have sex every night, and we’ll die in our nineties after a long life of Rock n Roll, Sex, and love. We’ll dance to Loggins and Messina at your wedding, our kids will call Patrick ‘pop’ and he’ll never have a second of your life.” He tells you. You kiss him gently, unable to form the words to tell him how much that means to you. When he stops kissing you, just for a second, he tells you, “We’ll make a new home, with just the two of us. We’ll host holidays, and you’ll never cry on Christmas again.” He tells you.

His words heal something in you. He won’t let you be hurt by your father ever again. The war is over, and now you’ll try to heal, try to move on.

Danny wipes your tears and asks you to come dance with him. You oblige. You dance through the night and focus on your future.

And it’s just as your fiancé describes. You get married. You dance to ‘A Love Song’ by Loggins and Messina, sung by your officiant, Josh.

Sam is Danny’s best man, and your brother is your maid of honor.

You dance with your stepdad to that Billy Joel song.

On Christmases, Danny kisses you under the mistletoe and holds you close.

He’s nothing but romantic and good to you.

On Father’s Day, a particularly hard holiday for you, he brings you home a cake before you go out for dinner with your mom, stepdad, brother, sister-in-law, and nephew.

It’s white, and has small hearts all over it, and in red frosting, it reads, ‘You can’t choose your father, but you can choose your daddy.’ It makes you laugh, and you ruin your hair and ruffle your clothes making love before you leave for dinner.

That night before he goes to bed, he kisses you and tells you that he loves you. That he can’t wait to live the rest of his life with you.

It takes you a long time to fall asleep, thinking about your dad, your Danny, and your stepdad. You wonder if you’ll ever have the courage to have children, out of fear of fucking them up like your dad did with you. You wonder if Danny and you really will live a long, happy, sexually vast life. You realize he is your soulmate, and that he’ll always be your husband.

You decide you’ll be alright.

[sexysadie23]

spoiler alert, i repeat: spoiler alert.

please continue to scroll if you have not yet watched OBX4 Part 2. Do not check these comments. IF YOU HAVE ANYTHING TO ADD PLS COMMENT x

People are saying that JJ’s death and Rafe breaking up with Sofia could lead to Riara finally manifesting on screen.

Reasons why this wouldn’t happen:

1. I genuinely believed that Rafe loved and still loves Sofia and doubt their story is over. I hope it’s not; I really ship them!! They are a beautiful couple and not even Kiara could bring that soft side out of him.

2. JJ died. Kiara would NOT move on so fast and especially not with Rafe (someone JJ hated severely).

3. Kie has been genuinely SCARED of Rafe. A lot of people think those scenes are sexual tension but you can see the fear in her eyes to the point where she grabs a knife.

4. Kie knows her friends HATE Rafe but [see point 6 in the next section]

5. Kiara will be too focused on revenge.

however

Reasons why this COULD happen:

1. Kiara may go into self destruct mode and feel like she needs to fill that gaping hole JJ left.

2. Not canon (yet?) but with all the evidence, in that Rafe is constantly ONLY forgiving Kiara and is ONLY nice to her, they may have had a past on her Kook Year. Just a theory!

3. Rafe is angry by nature, and Kiara is going to be angry after JJ’s death. He may let her lean into that side of herself because he does that all the time, she might even feel comfortable to be angry around him. however I am sure the other pogues are angry, but Kie seems to be on a bloodhunt. She may go dark and he will probably be the only one to understand.

4. Rafe was the FIRST to agree to go to Lisbon and get Chandler Groff. Everyone else questioned it, but he said what she was thinking before she even had the chance to say it.

5. Also we know that Jiara partly came to fruition because of the fans shipping them, so maybe the show runners have seen the Riara theories and decided to “give the fans what they want”??? Although I wouldn’t say every fan wants this for the reasons I listed above.

6. Rafe is definitely getting a redemption arc (I am so happy but also scared because it means he might die. Like why do shows redeem a character and finally have us route for them just to kill them? Although I don’t think he will die for some reason.)

7. Both of their relationships ended, leaving a path for them to idk find each other?? Sarah and John B have each other as well as Cleo and Pope on their way to Lisbon. I know most of them are friends but Kiara may seek to end her loneliness?

8. I really hope it doesn’t happen soon but most characters whose lover dies (Ie Rick with Laurie and Michonne in The Walking Dead) have to move on eventually. We can’t expect them to stay single forever so PERHAPS if there was a time jump (even at the s5 end perhaps), along with Rafe’s redemption arc, they could be together. I doubt they would put Kiara with some random guy. If she were to find love again it would be with someone we know from the show.

However I doubt this will happen again because the show might end pogue style with friendship and family at the forefront rather than romance. As I wrote the sentence before THOUGH: another thought popped up. Rafe will be the uncle to Sarah’s baby and Kiara will be the ‘aunt’ so maybe if the ending is all about family, maybe they will come together?? Rafe’s redemption would have to be REALLY good though.

9. Kie literally saved Rafe on that boat???

10. The show creators said ON VIDEO that they never thought about Riara until the fans brought up their chemistry and that they found it “so wrong it is almost right”???? Helloooo??

I hope none of these^ are true though because I love Rofia.

then again Sofia might have just been used as a way to move the plot forward to get Rafe in the position where he needs to go with the Pogues.

Any thoughts??

[chavahlahdraws]

okay i see you’re obviously a fan of hmc, as you should, but i have a question cause i read the book but people on tiktok pissed me off (as booktok usually does i’m about ready to get rid of it) and a lot of people were saying it’s weird that people love the relationship even though sophie “didn’t really love him” because she was charmed. but i was like no y’all i thought she really loved him?? like she stays with him to have a kid right so???

ok. here is a real way to comment on this yippee! this is actually aweslome because i get to do my little sophie rant.

first of all and most importantly - sophie was never charmed by howl. quite the opposite, really, which i would argue is how she fell for him in the first place.

“Oh, confound that gray-and-scarlet suit!” Sophie said. “I refuse to believe that I was the one that got caught with it!” The trouble was the blue-and-silver suit seemed to have worked just the same. She stumped a few steps further. “Anyway,’ she said with great relief, “Howl doesn’t like me!”

this is by far one of my favorite sophie moments in the whole book: and i understand the confusion here for more than one reason (will explain more later!) but clearly she’s using the gray and scarlet suit as a euphemism because she’s in denial. after everything she’s seen of him, sophie refuses to believe that she could fall in love with someone who is so intrinsically flawed—however, as we find at the end of the book—they’re the same in that respect.

howl is by no means a bad person or an evil person in the slightest, and despite herself sophie falls in love with him because of his kindness (like most people do, anyway) here’s some times that they bond …

More about Howl? Sophie thought desperately. I have to blacken his name! Her mind was such a blank that for a second it actually seemed to her that Howl had no faults at all. How stupid! “Well, he’s fickle, careless, selfish, and hysterical,” she said. “Half the time I think he doesn’t care what happens to anyone as long as he’s all right-but then I find out how awfully kind he’s been to someone. Then I think he’s kind just when it suits him-only then I find out he undercharges poor people. I don’t know, Your Majesty. He’s a mess.”

“Behold the new Royal Wizard,” he said. “My name is very black.” Then he began to laugh, much to the surprise of Sophie and Michael. “And what did she do to the Count of Catterack?” he laughed. “I should never have let her near the King!” “I did blacken your name!” Sophie protested. “I know. It was my miscalculation,” Howl said.

Howl pointed a shaky hand up toward the canopy of his bed. “That’s why I love spiders. ‘If at first you don’t succeed, try, try, try, again.’ I keep trying,” he said with great sadness. “But I brought it on myself by making a bargain some years ago, and I know I shall never be able to love anyone properly now.” The water running out of Howl’s eyes was definitely tears now. Sophie was concerned. “Now, you mustn’t cry-”

“If you come out here alone, bring your stick to test the ground with,” Howl said. “It’s full of springs and bog. And don’t go any further that way.”

As she had feared, the hard black-and-white daylight coming through the broken wall showed her that Howl had not bothered to shave or tidy his hair. His eyes were still red-rimmed and his black sleeves were torn in several places. There was not much to choose between Howl and the scarecrow. Oh, dear! Sophie thought. He must love Miss Angorian very much. “I came for Miss Angorian,” she explained. “And I thought if I arranged for your family to visit you, it would keep you quiet for once!” Howl said disgustedly. “But no-”

Howl rose up on his hands and knees with a scramble. “I can’t stay,” he said. “I’ve got to rescue that fool Sophie.” “I’m here!” Sophie said, shaking his shoulder. “But so is Miss Angorian! Get up and do something about her! Quickly!”

Howl looked a little sad, but he said, “We were both hoping you would. Neither of us wanted to end up like the Witch and Miss Angorian. Would you call your hair ginger?” “Red gold,” Sophie said. Not much had changed about Howl that she could see, now he had his heart back, except maybe that his eyes seemed a deeper color-more like eyes and less like glass marbles. “Unlike some people’s,” she said, “it’s natural.” “I’ve never seen why people put such a value on things being natural,” Howl said, and Sophie knew then that he was scarcely changed at all.

and finally…

“Sophie,” said Martha, “the spell’s off you! Did you hear?” But Sophie and Howl were holding one another’s hands and smiling and smiling, quite unable to stop. “Don’t bother me now,” said Howl. “I only did it for the money.” “Liar!” said Sophie.

howl and sophie are meant for each other! they compliment each other immensely, and it’s difficult to describe how well they do so concisely. what i can pin it down to is this: nothing is secret between them. they operate like best friends as well as they do as lovers; they never let anything slide between them! sophie refuses to take howl’s shit when he crosses a line, (and howl vice cersa, especially when sophie is putting herself down) but they also know each other well enough to truly know their intentions when they say anything. a great example of this in hmc is this whole conversation:

“Why did you pretend to run away? To deceive the Witch?” “Not likely!” Howl yelled. “I’m a coward. Only way I can do something this frightening is to tell my self I’m not doing it!” Oh, dear! Sophie thought, looking round at the swirling grit. He’s being honest! And this is a wind. The last bit of the curse has come true! The hot grit hit her thunderously and Howl’s grip hurt. “Keep running!” Howl bawled. “You’ll get hurt at this speed!” Sophie gasped and made her legs work again. She could see the mountains clearly now and a line of green below that was the flowering bushes. Even though yellow sand kept swirling in the way, the mountains seemed to grow and the green line rushed toward them until it was hedge high. “All my flanks were weak!” Howl shouted. “I was relying on Suliman being alive. Then when all that seemed to be left of him was Percival, I was so scared I had to go out and get drunk. And then you go and play into the Witch’s hands!” “I’m the eldest!” Sophie shrieked. “I’m a failure!” “Garbage!” Howl shouted. “You just never stop to think!” Howl was slowing down. Dust kicked up round them in dense clouds. Sophie only knew the bushes were quite near because she could hear the rush and rattle of the gritty wind in the leaves. They plunged in among them with a crash, still going so fast that Howl had to swerve and drag Sophie in along, skimming run across a lake. “And you’re too nice,” he added, above the lap-lap of the water and the patter of sand on the water-lily leaves. “I was relying on you being too jealous to let that demon near the place.”

sorry for the chunky quote, but this is super super important for our two silly little characters and their dynamic!!

and as for the misconception that sophie was charmed by howl:

mrs. pentsemmon actually hints when she meets sophie that she cursed the grey and scarlet suit herself (out of jealousy, though she’d never say it) and the original passage says that;

The trouble was the blue-and-silver suit seemed to have worked just the same.

Sophie knows for a fact that she felt the same about Howl when he was wearing the blue and silver suit that she did when he wore the enchanted one, and she knew from that that she most definitely wasn’t affected by the charm.

also! a little note about misconceptions in general: the first time i read hmc, the ending scene felt out of nowhere. but that’s how subtly dwj worked in the character development throughout this story! at it’s core hmc is a character based story, and howl and sophie are the most important characters (sophie especially!) but in the first read through i think we all focused on the plot a little more since we didn’t know that was what it was. every read through since, i’ve seen how howl and sophie fall in love in real time! and it’s undeniable then. :3

anyways! relationships written by a woman always win fr. thanks for listening to my rant if you made it this far. and my good friend @thatfoolsophie if you have anything to add, please do to this already crazy long post lmao :3

[laura1633]

Laura, we need a fic based on that comment (Max can suck lec‘s d).

Like someone showing one of them this comment and Max/Charles then goes slightly insane over it and can’t stop thinking about it or something like that.

No, seriously I would love if you’d be up to write this 😍

Haha, love it anon 😂 I was going to write a very quick drabble about it because I have so many one shots lined up that I wouldn't have time for more but it turned out to be almost 2000 words somehow.

-

“George probably argued the wall turned in on him” Daniel cackles as George reads out the tweet, to the Brit’s credit he is still smiling but he doesn’t look particularly pleased. 

“Whose idea was this again?!” Alex tries not to laugh but some of the online comments have been pretty on the nose so far. 

“Mine” Max grins, “It is best not to take these things too seriously” the Dutchman takes another swig from his gin and tonic and reclines back in his seat as the group take turns reading out mean, rude or just downright hilarious comments about themselves. 

“Then I think it’s your turn again” Daniel grabs his phone, “I found a great one, a whole account that seems to have been set up just to let everyone know what a douchebag you are. Their words not mine” 

“I think you’ll find there are a lot of those accounts” Max laughs as he takes the phone from Daniel and reads the comments the Aussie has found. 

“Max better get used to looking at Charles’ rear end this year. Charles WDC incoming” Max snorts as he reads it. 

“Is that so funny?” Charles frowns.

“No” Max hums, “But as much as I would love to spend the year looking at your “rear end” I unfortunately will be a few tenths ahead by the end of the first lap” Max grins

“Few tenths” Charles rolls his eyes. 

“Oh here” Max starts laughing again, “Max can suck Leclerc’s D, I am gonna assume they mean dick” 

Charles almost chokes on his drink. 

“I’d make quick work of that too” Max says with a ridiculously huge grin on his face, “Get you off a few tenths quicker than anyone else can” 

Charles’ face heats up, red spreading all the way to the tips of his ears. 

“What?” Max glances at the mixture of expressions around the table, from shocked to confused to laughing hilariously and then to Charles who looks - well a little like he is going to pass out, “You all think I don’t know how to suck dick? Look at these lips”

Max pouts, pushing his lips together to make them look plumper, as if that is necessary. Charles tries not to look but he can’t help himself, they do look like they belong around a dick. Fat and juicy and nice and pink. Charles shuffles in his seat and tries not to think about it because he’s starting to feel his cock straining in his boxers and he is absolutely not walking out of here with a hard on about Max dropping to his knees. 

The thought doesn’t leave him though. Not when the conversation moves on. Not when he’s making his way back to the hotel. Not when he’s sitting in bed and pulling up videos of the Dutchman. He tells himself it is research, which would be far more truthful if he was watching race replays rather than interviews. He ends up down a rabbit hole, once he has watched one tiktok edit dedicated to Max’s mouth his phone knows that he needs more. More and more and more until he’s found a slow motion shot zeroed in on those lips. 

And fuck, they really are blow job lips.

If Charles were a more sensible person he would just jerk off to the video. He’s not sensible though and he’s not content with coming over his own hand. Which is why he finds himself pacing up and down outside Max’s hotel room door before knocking and fighting off the urge to run away. 

“You need something?” 

Charles’ brain short circuits because Max is stripped down to a tight pair of boxer briefs, unsurprising really given it is 4am and Charles knows full well he has gotten the Dutchman up out of bed. 

“Charles?” Max’s voice is all rough and raspy, his hair all over the place. 

“You would not get me off faster than anyone else” Charles mumbles, it is the single worst chat up line he has ever used. He thinks it might be the worst chat up line anyone has ever used. He’s not even sure if it is a chat up line. Max’s eyes light up though and there’s a wicked grin on his face as he welcomes the Monegasque into his hotel room. 

“Sorry Charles” Max flicks on the light in the room, “You might have to repeat that for me” 

“I just - , what you said earlier. You are not an expert at everything you know” Charles isn’t sure what he is really doing, riling Max up was the plan but it seems silly now. 

“I never said I was” Max is wetting his lips with his tongue, “Just a few things - racing and sucking dick I guess” 

Charles tries to catch the whimper before it leaves his mouth but it fights its way out anyway. 

“I don’t believe you” Charles chokes out. He does believe it though. For some reason he fully believes it when Max says he’s good at sucking dick. Which is crazy really because until a few hours ago he’d always thought Max was straight. Then again he still considers himself straight and yet he’s in the Dutchman’s hotel room trying to goad him down on to his knees. 

“Charles” Max laughs faintly, “I am not going to suck your dick just to prove that I am telling the truth. If you want something you should ask nicely”

Charles feels his knees buckle, at this rate he’s going to be the only one dropping to the floor. Max is looking at him, his gaze unwavering, his stupid perfect dick sucking lips right there all wet and shiny now he’s run his tongue across them obscenely. 

“So Charles, is there something you would like to ask me?”

Charles’ skin burns under the embarrassment, “Max “ is all he manages to get out before his throat and mouth dry out. 

“It’s not quite time for you to moan my name, that comes later” Max smiles as he closes the space between them, “I am going to need you to ask for what you want Charles” 

Charles isn’t sure when Max became this -, this - 

Hot. 

Fuck Charles realises he might need to rethink everything he knows about himself because he’s always liked to be in control but right now his body is vibrating at the thought of Max making him beg for it. 

“I want you to do it” Charles mumbles quietly, his gaze flicking between Max’s mouth and his body. He’s all nice and broad and muscular, Charles has never quite appreciated that so much before. 

“Do what? You want me to do what for you?” Max steps closer again until his breath is warm as it fans over Charles’ lips.  

“I want you to suck my dick” Charles breathes out unsteadily but keeps his head held high. 

“See, that was not so hard was it” Max smiles, “Unlike this” Max palms over Charles’ cock making the Monegasque’s hips buck forward.

Charles wants to come up with some clever little retort but he can’t because Max is already sinking down to his knees and he’s fucking maintaining eye contact whilst he does it. The Dutchman eases Charles joggers and pants down in one go and licks right across his lips again. 

And Charles thinks he might either have heart failure or burst into flames. Either way he thinks this might be what kills him - the sight of Max on his knees looking so fucking confident. 

“Nice” Max hums. 

Charles isn’t even sure if that is a compliment. Nice. It sounds rather - bland. 

“Very nice. I always thought you would be big but you are even bigger than I thought you would be” Max muses as he runs his thumb right over the head of Charles' cock and collects up some of the pre-come. Charles makes a strange gargled sound but isn’t quite sure what is turning him on more -  the thought that Max has even given his dick any sort of passing consideration or the fact the Dutchman is now sucking the pre-come from his thumb like a fucking porn star. 

“I can still take you all though” Max looks up and gives Charles a filthy look. The Monegasque goes to say something but the second he opens his mouth Max slides his lips right around his cock and he’s left throwing his head back and moaning Max’s name like a fucking man possessed. 

Max seems intent on making him come as soon as possible. His mouth warm and wet and working further down Charles’ cock each time he bobs his head. The Monegasque is strangely aware of his own arms just dangling down by his sides and tentatively reaches out and tangles his fingers into Max’s hair. The Dutchman doesn’t need any guiding though, he’s doing pretty well all by himself. 

And for once Charles is glad Max was not all talk. 

The Dutch driver switches it up a little, runs his tongue up the underside of Charles’ cock before giving the head a little attention, sucking and kissing and making patterns with his tongue. Everything sounds wet. Looks wet. There’s saliva and pre-come dripping from the sides of Max’s mouth. He certainly seems to know what he is doing though. As he goes back in Charles gasps as he feels his cock hit the back of Max’s throat. Max makes the faintest gagging sound but pushes down even further until his nose is almost buried against the soft hairs around Charles’ cock. 

It’s at that exact moment that Max looks up again, his eyes a little watery but dark and intense and Charles feels his whole body clenching as it really hits home that Max is sucking his dick. Happily sucking his dick. Sucking his dick with as much passion and skill as he seems to apply to everything else. 

And it’s too much - 

Charles comes without any sort of warning and just hopes that Max is cool with swallowing because his come is most likely already flowing down the Dutchman’s throat as he bucks forward and tightens his grip in Max’s hair to hold him steady. 

Charles feels his legs go to jelly beneath him as Max pulls off slowly, the Dutchman’s lips still clasped tight as he moves. There’s even more saliva now, Max seems to have swallowed down most of the come though, not that Charles really gave him much choice. He would apologise but Max looks far from bothered. 

“Pretty quick” Max smiles, “I mean that as a compliment” the Dutchman laughs, “You are sensitive, are you that sensitive when you fuck?” 

“No” Charles huffs out a little breathless, he’s not normally quite so sensitive but he’s also not used to guys sucking him off and its - 

Well the results speak for themselves. 

“Cool” Max nods and gets to his feet and clambers into bed, “If you want to stick around until morning maybe we can test that out”

“Test. Out” Charles repeats the words like they are completely alien to him. His brain is still fuzzy and floaty and Max is laid out on the bed in front of him like this whole thing is the most natural set up in the whole world. 

“Yeah” Max shrugs, “I am excellent at sucking dicks but I’m world champion level when it comes to riding them” The Dutchman laughs and flicks the lights off in the room which is just as well because Charles’ face is  cherry red as he tentatively climbs into bed next to Max ready for the morning.